#i haven't read the light novels so

[justatree75]

i came into re:zero season 3 with a wishlist of what i wanted throughout the season and episode one check every single fucking box

[astersofthesky]

It's been hours since I discovered that this exists and yet it still feels so surreal. L felt such huge anguish that his heart was aching inside his chest at failing to save Maki from being kidnapped and the first thing that comes out of his mouth is "Light... It hurts. My heart—" and honestly, I felt like being punched repeatedly on the gut because this is honestly... *breathes* I am in awe and in disbelief because why would L speak Light's name like this, when Light was the reason why he's dying now?? Why would he confide in him, when Light had only shown him fakeness and lies since they met. It's so easy to think of all the evil things Light had done to him yet L doesn't think of any of those things.

He wasn't even thinking in this scene because all he can register is how his heart hurts and that it was telling him to speak Light Yagami's name, no matter how absurd, how silly, or how pathetic it seems. Because like Light, people NEVER sought him beyond the great detective L. No one bothered to know him beyond the gothic letter on their screens. Which honestly, isn't their fault because L kept them at arm's length.

But somehow, someone forced L's arm to minimize that distance and he's left with Light and his deceptive yet all-knowing eyes that managed to understand L. And it's so effin funny that a twisted individual like Light was the only person to actually see beneath the iceberg that is L. The one that caused his demise. It's so sick and ironic that Light is the one person who L thinks can understand his pain. He didn't think of Watari, his father-figure.

He thought of Light. Because at this place, at this point, he knew no one would understand his pain, his ideals, his everything, the way they didn't understand Light and his twisted sense of justice and his genuine distaste for the judicial system and how childish his black-and-white morality is EXCEPT L himself.

He called Light's name because deep down he knew, only Light would be able to understand the pressure and the lies the facade he'd been wearing all this time.

It's honestly insane how these two has something worse than romance, and that no matter what universe, no one really wins because all that is left of the other is the empty, shallow void caused by the other person's non-existence.

Lawlight, you both got some toxic codependent sht and honestly i'm here for it.

[robinmage]

[xserpx]

Ankh-Morpork, largest city in the lands around the Circle Sea, slept.

That statement is not really true.

On the one hand, those parts of the city which normally concerned themselves with, for example, selling vegetables, shoeing horses, carving exquisite small jade ornaments, changing money and making tables, on the whole, slept. Unless they had insomnia. Or had got up in the night, as it might be, to go to the lavatory. On the other hand, many of the less law-abiding citizens were wide awake and, for instance, climbing through windows that didn’t, belong to them, slitting throats, mugging one another, listening to loud music in smoky cellars and generally having a lot more fun. But most of the animals were asleep, except for the rats. And the bats, too, of course. As far as the insects were concerned…

The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf Quimby II as Patrician of Ankh some legislation was passed in a determined attempt to put a stop to this sort of thing and introduce some honesty into reporting. Thus, if a legend said of a notable hero that "all men spoke of his prowess" any bard who valued his life would add hastily add "except for a couple of people in his home village who thought he was a liar, and quite a lot of other people who had never really heard of him." Poetic simile was strictly limited to statements like "his mighty steed was as fleet as the wind on a fairly calm day, say about Force Three," and any loose talk about a beloved having a face that launched a thousand ships would have to be backed by evidence that the object of desire did indeed look like a bottle of champagne.

Quimby was eventually killed by a disgruntled poet during an experiment conducted in the palace grounds to prove the disputed accuracy of the proverb "The pen is mightier than the sword," and in his memory it was amended to include the phrase "only if the sword is very small and the pen is very sharp."

So. Approximately sixty-seven, maybe sixty-eight per cent, of the city slept.

— The Light Fantastic by Terry Pratchett

[ohmaosama]

From torrey story about how he met "mage" for the first time :

is it them??? From the Mahoutsukai shihen inazuma jack to yousei jiken

But they also lived in the same timeline as the mahoyome chise elias tho...

But again changelings have long lives, so yeah it's probably them. Do you think they'll encounter each other someday? 👀

[ilovereadingandstuff]

"Haruka wasn't going to deny that there was someone who could swim faster than him. But he wasn't going to acknowledge it so easily, either. It wasn't that he wanted to win, or that he hated losing; it was just that he couldn't simply accept that there was someone who could feel the water more than he could."

Haruka Nanase's relationship with water is...passional.

like...he's possessive over water. I'm just gonna say that. And, of course, Rin is the cause to that possessiveness and his unusual drive to compete.

Water and Rin represent...something to Haru.

[saeraas]

they both just had a super casual moment "damn, we're old" at age 27 and 28 while debriefing this mission. they are not serious

[always-scared]

it's not often that I find myself... becoming one(1) with a /minor/ character in a show, a non recurring one. but something about amy bartlett (or isabella york)(or the unnameable woman she was forced to become) is making me want to scream and cry and rip my heart out, in a way not many things always do

i had been watching violet evergarden for the past two weeks or so, and the show, by itself, had already become an irreplaceable, integral memory for me. it became so so important to me, in such a short time, with every single thing it stood for,,,, human connections, war, empathy, memories, peace, violence, remembrance, burning, words, language, thoughts, feelings, desires, love, so, so so much grief, but such devastatingly greater love..... something about the innate humanness of the show got me in a way nothing else has, and it became one of the .. safest pieces of media ever for me. at the centre of my overwhelming intensity of emotions, of fondness and love stood violet evergarden herself, who was forced to grow up so quickly yet... actually I'll talk about her later, because as much space as violet has in my heart and will for evermore, this post is not (just) about her

and then I finish the series and I'm filled with this deep sense of grief, but a deep sense of love. and so I start this little movie and here comes isabella york, the deuterogonist who at first glance seemed to me like the normal rebellious girl, born in a high class family in a high functioning society with the crushing expectations of patriarchy typical of the Victorian era that the show is supposedly set in, placed on her shoulders- a harrowing narrative for sure, but nothing new, nothing we haven't seen before, something we could primarily sympathise with, rather than empathise. you expect her to be like the typical, common place rebel, who finds herself strangled with these. you're convinced that there's no way violet would be able to "tame" her, and she'd give violet a world altering speech about the confines of the nobility being too constricting for her, and she'd give her a small kiss and fly away into the setting sun, with violet watching her go with a half smile on her face

except

except none of this actually happens.

you watch, and you're instead hit with the ..... heartwrenching tragedy, that isabella york is. you watch her be tamed, you watch her become increasingly lady like, you watch as the resigned set of her shoulders becomes wearier. you watch her fall so desperately, so hopelessly in love.

you watch, and you start getting restless, because there's no way right? you convince yourself, there's no way. there's no way they'd keep throwing in the scenes of her before in her ragamuffin clothes except to highlight that the person in present is far at home in them, that past image could never be comfortable, be One with the silks and satins and ribbons and bows right? there's no way they showcase the love, the heartbreaking love she had for her little sister unless they planned to reunite them immediately after, with a little help and push from violet right? there's no way they show her falling so much in love, just for it to go... nowhere right? they wouldn't show her in a prison, just for her to never escape... right?

right?

and then you watch, keep watching with a pounding heart, and you see violet and her bidding adieu, and you see four years passing without a word from her, and you see her sister growing up, and you see her sister yearning for her, and you see her at end and you see her .confined. imprisoned . still. and even though the movie ends on a happy note, you go and look her up, you look up the light novels, and you search frantically, looking for some news, any news of her.

and that's when it hits you. the absolute tragedy that amy bartlett is, the absolute tragedy she's been turned into. that's when it hits you that some people aren't like violet, who've been saved so thoroughly and wholely (as joyful as I'm about that). that's when it hits you that some people are just dealt a ... rough, miserable hand by God. and they end up hating him for it.

like,, idk I don't even know i genuinely don't know what about her got me so bad, that I'm sitting here with my head pounding and loads of work to complete, but instead im just . sitting here with my heart feeling like it's carved out of stone.

i think it's mostly the never ending grief of womanhood, the heartwrenching pain of a denied queerness.

like, i read the two extra stories dedicated to her and both of them just. stuck a chord in me, a chord that made my very soul flinch, shudder in agony. it was the absolute hopelessness i think. it was this i think

ORESTES: This was always going to happen. She's been dead since the beginning.

Aeschylus, The Oresteia

like,,,, idk idk man I wanna cry so bad, i think it genuinely was this, a large part of it was this; she'd never been meant to be the rebel girl, who'd find love and acceptance and freedom whilst getting to love her sister and the girl she adored and herself. it was never about fighting, breaking free.

her fate had been set in stone since the moment her "father" had appeared out of nowhere to restake his claim on an abandoned child and asked her to partake in a monstrous deal, a deal where she'd been dealt the losing hand even before it had been stuck.

her three months with violet weren't supposed to be the grand, life altering point paving the path to her freedom, you realised. it was just supposed to be her reprieve, her... noon. that she'd forever clasp, unseen, hidden, and that would have to be pried from her cold, dead hands.

i don't know, even after writing this much, i feel like I haven't gotten to the essence of it, of why amy bartlett makes me want to sob my heart out, why i relate to her more than I have to anyone ever. i can't, i Cant get over the unfairness of it all, about why She alone was dealt a miserable hand, why she couldn't have been saved like the Postal company saved violet and like she (and then violet) saved taylor and how she again saved the couple who had been thrown out of her husband's room and ...

god, something,,,,.just something about the two chapters about her is still shattering me, devouring my very heart where i sit. like,,,, this girl, this brave, tragic girl, who should've been able to fall in love with a girl, her... her violet blossom, should've been able to tell her, should've been able to live with her, and her sister whom she adored and who adored her so, so heartbreakingly much, and lived comfortably with them, lived in their small house where nobody would have been lonely and nobody would have needed saving and the sun would shine and the world wouldn't be a terrible place and if she were to be asked if it should end, she wouldn't have had to say it should, and god would have dealt her a much softer hand for which she would never seek revenge and she would live forever in her noon, basking in the loud laughter and quiet smile of the two women, one whose red unruly hair she'd dry and brush for all of time to come, and the other for whom she'd tirelessly pick out thousands of violets and place countless flower crowns in her velvet hair, the two women who were her whole world.

she was instead fated to live as a Woman, a woman through and through, representation of the absolute,,,, misery that womanhood can be (even more so as a queer individual), a woman cut out for suffering the moment she was born, a woman with a terrible childhood, and- just as she started feeling like a child, like she belonged, to have it wrenched from her grasp, to watch, unseeing as her sister begged her not to go, to trade her very life in exchange for her sister's, to donne on dresses and gowns and be commodified, to meet a girl whom she'd probably love more than she would ever anyone else in this lifetime, to play with her hair and hold hands and swing and swing around and fall in love just because she was walking alongside her, and then to have it once again wrenched from her grasp because again, this wasn't something meant to last was it? and then continue and be married and forever, for ever carry the atlantean weight that every, every woman is forced to carry, especially in those times to have been gifted a forever cursed existence, to be so lonely, to want to be saved, so so much but knowing that no one was coming ever, to have precisely this be your tragedy, to forever seek revenge by saving others because she would never be saved, to live with an abusive man, to spend her whole entire life stretched ahead of her, vast and so tragically unending, struggling to make do with the handfuls of love she'd had, to force it to be enough, for it to not nearly be enough, to, be so full of love so as to make her sister and her visits her entire noon as she grew up and older, to forever live as someone she wasn't because she'd given up her life long ago, to love someone she couldn't, she shouldn't have had to.

a woman meant to love only for a short while before having it yanked from her, from her chest from her heart, a love that still raged in her, but she'd forever, ever after, continue to live with the memory of that love, the sheer force of it. to remember violet longer than she knew her. to be so in love, but to be okay even if the other never finds out, for all eternity.

claudia tells violet "you haven't realised that everything you've ever done has sparked a flame that is now burning you up. one day you'll stop burning and understand, and for the first time, you'll notice the burn marks." and I think amy bartlett's tragedy is that she never. stops burning.

[pampamtiger]

it's hard when none of your friends like your current hyperfixations lolololol

[eyepatchdate]

gonna.... buy fingersmith soon.

[rotisseries]

rori bestie what is 55 minutes

a bsd light novel!! idk the plot let me google it rn actually

ok so the ada has to go to this island for what they think is some jewel thieves but ends up way more serious there's some bombing, time travel, and a guy named h.g. wells so. sounds like a lot of fun actually

[catboydan]

fiance got me a kindle for my birthday <3

[altruistic-meme]

as we can all see, the bsd brainworms got me. so i am adding bsd to the manga collection chart 🫡

[saltmilea]

misc orv doodles I’ve made + yoohankim study

TL: KDJ stands for Cockroach Demon

[moonlit-tulip]

One inconvenient side effect of my state of being somewhat allergic to most fan-translated light novels (for "the prose tends to be Deeply Awkward, probably because all the translators who reach the level of doing Actual Good Prose get scooped up by the official translation-licensing companies?" reasons) is that it makes it difficult and vaguely nerve-wracking to interact with the Monogatari fandom.

Because, like... there are two whole seasons of the series which exist only in fan-translation, not in official translation! And the fandom has, very reasonably, gone and, like, read the books comprising those seasons. But I haven't, and don't expect that to change for a pretty long time! And thus, despite being a big fan of the series, I can't really safely interact with the fandom, for fear of spoilers.

Eventually, this will be fixed one way or another, either by the remaining novels getting official translations (...after the manga translations finish? I hope? Although my hope is somewhat weaker than it would have been a few years ago, given the context where the Zaregoto and Pretty Boy Detective Club translations both seem to have stopped too despite not involving the same translators) or by my learning enough Japanese to read the remaining books in the original or by my figuring out some way to increase my tolerance for light novel fan-translations.

Hopefully one of these will happen before I run into Major Spoilers, rather than only after.

[hewkii]

lidelle thoughts bc I'm in a particularly sappy mood rn

i love her interactions in newer games!! from like, ppt onwards everyone is so nice to lidelle like one day they all said yk what? this kid's been through enough. from this day forth it is illegal to bully this child. love that for her

like how draco just like, adopts lidelle. some random kid showed up and started calling her big sister and draco's like. i wasn't in the market for a sibling but I'm not complaining

and it's even funnier bc she does the same thing to satan and he doesn't jive with it at all

and hmmmghmhgmmm. phhphhfhfhft raffidelle if i don't make weird noises about raffidelle every few days i die

raffina is usually a hard-nosed prissy bitch! but she's so gentle with lidelle! she's supportive and she engages with her interests and she feels so bad for hurting her when she had the marle curse and and aaaaahhhh have y'all seen that part of ppq's primp campaign where raffina is having a temper tantrum in the middle of the woods but immediately calms down when lidelle shows up and then apologizes for scaring her? because i think about that every day of my life

and in return lidelle looks up to raffina! she trusts her! she's so much more open with raffina than she is with everybody else! i'm so Normal about these two i promise. man i need to cut myself off before this whole post is just me word vomiting about raffidelle

anyhoo. i really think they should explore lidelle's idolization of amitie a little more in the future, bc i think they have a lot more in common than lidelle realizes (anxiety, mostly). and we need to see tartar again so that we can get the tartar and lidelle friendship scene we all deserve. bc I'm not even a tartar fan but lidelle just improves everything she touches