#i haven’t tried to make a friend irl in… a long time

[peachinspiration]

dunmeshi mithruncore (every day I can’t get up to make myself eat at all or get up to use the bathroom or fall asleep or actually do more to help myself unless im told to or someone physically Makes me do it or I finally manage to do so for the first time very very late in the day cuz I forced myself to out of fear)

[beneathsilverstars]

Siffrin is like. 26 at the YOUNGEST to me. Most of them are in their mid to late 20s (early 30s maybe) besides odile who *I* think is mid to late 40s

I did hear the word of god descriptions before considering their ages, so my hcs are compliant with them, but the word of god does all seem right to me. Except ironically the one canon age range (preteen Bonnie) is the only one that seems off; if they weren’t called a preteen I’d assume them to be like 8. (As opposed to, I define preteen as 11 or 12, mayybe 10. aka the ages that would also be called “teen” if not for linguistics.)

But yeah Siffrin is soo 28 to me, definitely within 26-31. Old enough that they’re quite settled into their sense of self and the patterns of their adult life, but not so old as to be totally set in it (or desperately trying to change it). They’re sort of still just muddling along, but they’re very good at it by now! At the very least, they’re used to it, used to pretending it’s fine, but not yet quite so sick of it that they can’t pretend anymore. Not quite.

Mirabelle and Isabeau do have more youthful insecurity imo. I put Mirabelle at 22 because to me that’s the age where it feels like everybody you grew up with is graduating right now and getting job offers in their chosen field, but not you, because you’re a failure. Any younger and you’re all still in college together (or if not, then working 30-40 hours a week is almost more grown up of you than being in school). Any older and everyone’s doing different things anyway. But at exactly 22, being even just one semester behind feels like a huge difference, like nothing you’ve done matters in the face of the one thing you haven’t. (ofc, Vaugarde doesn’t have the same schooling system as irl modern USA, but it’s about the vibes okay.)

And then Isabeau’s 24 because that’s when everyone is doing different things anyway. You’ve realized that the social structure of school, the cliques, the competition, isn’t really how it works as an adult. You are out there in the world on your own and it’s time to figure out what makes you happy instead of your friends or teachers. And, a couple years into working, you might be realizing that the career path you were so sure of really doesn’t suit you at all! And it’s scary to change, and waste all that hard work you’ve done. But, at 24, it hasn’t been that long since you graduated high school, and less since you graduated college (or if not college, you still may have tried a couple different towns or a couple different groups of roommates). You’ve upended your entire life at least once if not several times in recent memory, so even though it’s scary, doing it once more doesn’t feel as impossible as it would for someone who’s been doing the same thing for the last twenty years straight.

Speaking of which, Odile! Admittedly half the reason I made her 43 was self-indulgent ship reasons. But! I also think it makes sense. She’s been out of school just as long as she’s been in it. She had been doing approximately the same thing for the last 15+ years, so leaving is a huge upheaval. But she’s young enough to still have the energy for travel — she sure feels old next to Mirabelle, and she is slower and achier, but she’s also still perfectly able to fight, hike, and camp. (ofc, many older people can still do these things, but I feel like once you get past 50 it starts being mostly just the people who have been consistently doing these things all along.) Also, 40 is just The mid-life crisis age, y’know? So at 40 she starts wanting a change, and then time goes so fast once you’re settled into adult life plus going to the other side of the world is a huge undertaking, so it takes a couple years. But by 43 she’s done it, she’s made the change!

Then I made Bonnie 12 because according to purely my own intuition, I think 4 is maybe the oldest age Bonnie could’ve been when running away that wouldn’t leave them with some solid memory of their parents, and even then it would probably take close to 8 years to have forgotten them to such an extent and grown to be relatively well-adjusted. And I went for the max running away age because oh my god Nille. And I put Nille at the top of her word of god age range - 21 - because oh my god Nille. Babies taking care of babies. At least this way she was a full teen and they were a preschooler!!

[silencesscreams]

can i ask you a question?

james potter x f!reader (smut + muggle!au)

summary: ever since you met james potter in your sophomore year of college, you haven’t been able to deny the effect he had on you, as much as you hated it. he was a player, always got what he wanted and was just stupid, to say the least. sharing a friend group didn’t make it any better. sure, you both just scoffed at each other and would both agree that one another was insufferable. it seemed perfect when it started, thanks to that very drunken night, after a fight on the phone with your asshole boyfriend.

but what happens when you feel like the benefit part wasn’t enough for you?

warnings: getting cheated on and cheating (not on each other but with each other) bad morals, kissing, dom james, making out, degradation?, fingering, penetration, overstimulation, use of y/n once, unprotected (don’t even think of doing that irl i’ve got my eye on u)

“im serious! you have to break up with him, he’s an asshole” said lily through the speakers on your phone, you hated how she was always right.

“i know”, you look away from the screen, viewing your room, as lily kept on talking, you were able to see her facial expressions just because of the sound of her voice, even if you were looking away from the face time display on your phone.

“… and he’s not even pretty! he’s just a cheating piece of garbage” she finished, spitting out the offenses. you smile, even when he was that far away (a whole other continent) he would still fuck up brutally, over and over again. sure, lily didn’t know you were also a ‘cheating piece of garbage’, but your boyfriend did it first, or at least that was what you took comfort in.

“i get it, lil’s, thank you.” you smile, pausing your video.

‘hii, u up?’ is typed in very quickly and sent to a contact with the name of james potter. you went back to face time quickly, heartbeat quickening with the anxiety for a response, in a few seconds you saw the notification ‘be there in five, bringing chinese’ you smile at that, he knew about your obsession with left over asian food.

“gotta sleep, thank you for the talk though” you tell lily, very anxious to turn off the phone and turn on some silly playlist.

“no worries, see you at work monday?” she asked, like if you even had a choice about coming in, you nodded, turning the phone off. the next moments were excruciatingly painful, you hated those 10 minutes more than anything. it was a buildup of anxiety and being nervous if you were getting stood up, of course, that never even happened with james, but really, you weren’t friends like that. or maybe you were, you don’t really know. he was fun once you got to know him, and he did know a lot about you by now. but of course, the friends with benefits couldn’t work out any longer, it never did, did it? someone would always end up catching feelings. its not like its that big of a deal though, its just no one outsmarts it.

these thoughts did consume you until you heard the knock on your door, you had started to recognize his knocks a long time ago, slow one, three quick ones, two quick ones. it was fun now that you thought about it, you waited around 15 seconds at the door, you always did that, you were careful for him to never think you were desperate, being sure he’d tease you about it later if he ever did. and so you open the door, he smiles at you, entering and closing the door, as he’s leaving the food on the kitchen table he starts,

“i brought some-“ and you interrupt him with a kiss, you hate to admit it but you missed him.

“a bit eager, aren’t we?” he teases, pulling away to take off his jacket.

“shut up” you pull him back in, his hands on your waist as he tries to take his shoes off, almost tripping over them but still managing to kiss you while he’s at it. james quickly picked you up and you had your legs were wrapped around him, you could feel his already growing bulge as his hands went under your thighs, your oversized shirt hiking up, as you remembered you probably shouldn’t have opened the door in your underwear. he carries you to your room, the only lighting being your lamp on your desk, you were trying to finish an essay when you got your boyfriends call. you’re thrown onto your bed as he takes off his shirt, glasses foggy, he’s taking them off.

“tell me, were you missing me?” he grins, climbing onto bed, his knee between your legs.

“i hate you” you roll your eyes, and suddenly he was closer than you thought, you tilt your head up, trying to dom him out, at least this one time. he looks smug, and you want o hit him harshly, but you also want him to pin you to your bed and- was he chuckling right now?

“i don’t hear you denying it though” he counters, your cheeks flushing.

that’s probably it for you, you lose. you lose to the conceited assumptions, to the tension, to the way his hair looks, to the darkness in his eyes, to the wetness he was causing between your legs and to the tension.

that was all it took for him to smash his lips against yours. its a kiss so rough, so brutal. that was something you didn’t expect from james potter.

he's pushing your hips harshly into the mattress beneath you, immediately pressing close to you, chests touching and his leg slipping deeper between your legs. your hand is on his neck and it threads into his hair as your teeth clash, both of your hearts thundering.

your noses hit each other; you hope he can feel the adrenaline through your lips. you can certainly feel his. his hand moves up so he's grabbing your thigh, pulling you closer to him. you pull away and immediately attach your lips to the column of his neck, not wanting to have to look at his face. one small groan he lets out causes you to smile against his skin, suddenly realizing that you have just as much of an effect on him as he does on you, even though you're the one who is under. you nip at the flesh on his neck, sucking onto it, making sure to mark.

he moans lightly at that and you feel yourself tremble as your stomach tingles. he tugs onto your hair with one hand, as you start to grind desperately against him. you feel the outline of him, semi hard and desire takes you over. his hand now on your ass, gripping it as you suck another bruise on his neck. he pulls away to look at you, his eyes darkening before kissing you again. your hands trail down his chest, towards his bulge, and as your fingertips graze it, his other hand grabs your wrists and holds them down above your head, only one hand holding them. he takes off your shirt and starts to take off his belt. he takes a minute just to look at you, lace underwear, you were waiting for him.

“what are you doing?” you ask, like you weren’t sure of it already.

“what does it look like i’m doing? im putting you in your place, now be a good girl, how about that?” he teases you, throwing the belt across the room.

“you’re an asshole.” are the only words you can say right now.

“don’t see you complaining right now” he muttered, nipping at your neck, as he left a trail of kisses and bites on your neckline and chest, you weren’t even wearing a bra. he pushes two thick digits into your heat without warning.

“shit!” you yelp, he finds your g-spot easily, nudging against it as he hooks his fingers up, teasing you, his voice sweet and clear when he says, "maybe you'd prefer your boyfriend to fuck you."

you let out a choked noise that had been intended to be a scoff,

“is that what this is about? are you jealous?” you look between your legs to him as his fingers move faster inside of you, your panties discarded elsewhere. the roughness of it was hot. his fingers crook upwards inside of you, making any legible thought damn near impossible. the way his fingers were moving fast and hard inside of you, pushing you towards the edge faster than you'd like to admit.

"maybe i would prefer him," you catch the look that passes over his face, you lean into his ear, teasing him, "bet he could fuck me like i need it." and just like that, you got what you wanted, his fingers thrusted rapidly into you, his thumb stimulating your clit.

“fuck, james!” you moan out.

“dont worry, i can’t fuck you like you need it, right?” he says, voice low, as his fingers keep on thrusting into you, his other hand is on your neck, holding it just hard enough to get you flustered.

“i was kidding! i s-swear” you let out in the midst of moans.

“i can’t understand you, princess. what’d you say?” he wants you to repeat it, god, you were fucked.

“i was kidding! no one can - shit! - do it to me like you can, please james” you beg, reaching your high, you can feel tears coming.

“please what?”

“please james, let me cum”

“ah, sweets” he coos, your fucked out expressions making him even harder, he rubs his thumb onto your cheek, “not yet” he pulls his fingers out and you whine at that, feeling empty.

“ass up, doll” he whispers, you immediately turn around, on shaking hands and knees. “not like that”, he hummed, his hand sliding to the center of your back, firmly pushing you down as your face pressed against the pillow. your shirt slipped down, letting him see you fully. he loved it when you wore lace. his hand runs over the curve of your ass, he could get used to the sight, he loved how responsive you were to his touch too.

as he positioned himself behind you, he undid his zipper and unbuttoned his jeans, his thick tip was pressed up against your hole, pushing your panties aside.

the teasing made your back arch in need but he wanted to make you work for it,

"say please, baby, remember your manners." you probably sounded pathetic, whimpering and whiny, you didnt care though, you needed him.

“please james, fuck me, i need you so bad, please” his hand gives your ass a light tap, signaling he’s going to do it.

“good girl” he murmured, pushing in slowly, your body rocking at the feeling, the stretch of him being in you. you moaned out, a very sweet sound to him.

he pushes into you, looking down and seeing how well you take him. you're whimpering and gasping, the hot and heavy press of his cock against your walls reducing you into a mess of incomprehensible words.

“princess, im only halfway in, you sure you can take it tonight?” he rubbed your shoulder, dipping down his head to kiss your neck. you nodded rapidly, already feeling so full, your hips grinded back against him. he thrusted in the rest of the way, you moaned out, feeling so full and trying to muffle it out with your pillow.

he lets out a groan that makes you wish you were facing him to see his face lost in pleasure. he moans,

"fucking hell, you feel so good my cock," the way your walls fluttered around him when he praised you made him go crazy. "can i move, doll?"

you hummed,

“yes please”, at that, he slowly pulled out, you moaned loudly as he slammed back into you. with your little moans and gaps he sets a rhythm.

ecstasy coursing through you, eyes rolling into the back of your head as he pounded into you, body bouncing on the bed with his thrusts. he placed a hand on your abdomen, needing to hold on to something, making you realize how deep he was hitting. he kept on shoving his dick harder and harder into you, pounding against you roughly. he kisses along the side of your neck, you can feel his bare chest pressing to your back, his breathing ragged in your ear, hips never even stalling,

“such a good girl, right? taking my cock for me, ‘feels so good, love” and you couldn’t do anything but agree in mindless, fucked out whimpers of ‘yes’ and ‘james’.

he pounds into you fast and rough, your cheek pressed against the mattress as you felt his cock wrecking you with each rough roll of his hips, filling you up easily. you nearly scream as the hand that was gripping your ass slipped under and, before you can process it, your eyes are rolling back again as he rolls your clit between deft fingers.

“fuck!” you moaned out, surprised. it was like he memorized every single thing you loved about having sex with him, the way he could find the right spots, his praise, his degradation. you did miss him.

the rolling of his fingers on your clit with the fast-paced thrusts made you gasp in pleasure, tightening around him as he brought you closer to your high. moaning in response to his praises, no tangible sentences able to form. your back arches subconsciously, a silent beg for more.

"james, i'm, fuck, m'gonna," you whine, unable to finish a sentence, too lost in pleasure, "g-gonna cum-"

your weak whimpers made you feel so vulnerable and he found it so. fucking. hot.

“yeah? you gonna cum on my cock like a good girl?” he teased you, pounding into you even faster. driving you to your climax crazy quick, words pushing you further. “go ahead doll, cum on me” he muttered.

your mouth dropped into loud calls of his name, you clenched around him and there was no doubts of the complaints you’d get, the begging growing louder. his thrusts don't stop, they do slow, letting you ride your high out for as long as possible.

once you finish, he flips you over onto your back. he throws your legs over his shoulders, going even deeper.

“wanna see your face when i cum, babe” he continued to thrust at a rapid pace, the snap of his hips wrecking you, as your nails dug into his back. from that position, the base of his cock brushed against your clit.

“cum in me, please” you whimpered as he took sight of you. how your heat flushed lips were parted into a sweet moan, your hair splayed out across the pillowcase, your flustered face screwed up in pleasure.

there wouldn’t be another day where he didnt think about how good you looked under him. the edge of the overstimulation had a familiar tightening in your gut. his hand palming your tit as he groaned out into your ear,

“cum for me again doll, c’mon, be a good girl for me” your back arches off of the bed, your head tipped back as you reach your second high. this one more powerful than the last.

at the feeling of you tensing around him for a second time, he lets out a low groan, the pace of his hips stuttering. your moans and begs from underneath him push him over the edge, burying himself deep inside of you as you gripped hard onto him.

"fuck y/n!" he finishes hard, rolling his hips up hard to meet yours. he feels dazed, he thinks its the hardest he's ever cum.

he pulled out gently, laying down next to you and putting himself back in his trousers.

“you good?” he asked, and you just hummed in response. james smiled, pulling you in.

“listen, gotta tell you something” he whispered, you quickly looked over at him.

“what? did something happen?” you ask, worried, he never really did that.

“yeah, i dont think im a friends with benefits guy.” he said, smiling awkwardly.

“oh” you sigh, confused.

“im more of a boyfriend guy, if yours doesn’t matter with stepping back from his position, after all, he is working in another company and i’d love to make some more business with you and-“ you slap him on the shoulder.

“shut up james.” you smile, rolling your eyes, you decide to play along. “thank you for your advice, mr. potter, he will be fired tomorrow morning, your work starts... now. your first task is to grab me that chinese food in the kitchen because god, im starving.” he gives you a quick peck as he gets up, god did he feel lucky.

maybe not being able to pull off the friends with benefits deal was a good thing after all.

[sunnebeam]

good for a weekend.

DRABBLE.

pairing: jung hoseok x reader

warnings: smut (minors do not interact), oral (m receiving), unprotected sex (yall know the drill, let's be protected irl), sex against a window, blank space au, chaebol!reader (she has issues), businessman!hoseok, profanity

masterlist + disclaimers.

note: took me a long time to choose the title for this one bc i just realized i already used a blank space lyric for jimin's drabble lol. but anyways here it is! idk the accurate word count but i think this is longer than all my other drabbles so far. enjoy <3 don't forget to share ur thoughts and give feedback ^^

When you were younger, you didn’t really understand why no one wanted to be friends with you.

Apart from your butler Yeonjun (who's paid to put up with your shit but is still genuine in his companionship nonetheless), a paintbrush and a canvas were the only real confidants you had for your pent up frustrations as a child.

Now that you're older, your isolation becomes more self-induced.

"Is it true that she's back together with Kim Taehyung again?”

“No, I heard that her family arranged for her and Park Jimin to marry next year...”

“But wasn't she spotted looking cozy with Jeon Jungkook at a bar last week?”

"No, no, I could've sworn she was hooking up with Min Yoongi—"

"Damn, she's going through men way too fast, don't you think?"

“Honestly, I think she's just a spoiled, rich playgirl."

You sigh, sitting on your chair in the art room of your very own mansion — a gift from your father after he missed out on your eighteenth birthday — while Yeonjun watches you paint your heart out.

“I haven’t seen Kim Seokjin around lately…” he muses as he steps closer to look at your work. By the looks of it, you must be feeling some pretty angry emotions.

“Silly Yeonjun,” you giggle too loudly, hand gripping your brush rather forcefully as you stare at your palette. “Seokjin and I broke up ages ago. Actually, I haven’t seen him since the haircut incident.”

Ah, the haircut incident…

Yeonjun shivers, remembering that outburst all too well. The memory of you hysterically chopping off your hair in a fit of jealousy while Kim Seokjin helplessly tried to get you to stop. That marked the end of your six-month relationship, leaving you with uneven chunks of hair and the man with a questionable restraining order.

Not your best moment, that much you can admit.

“Anyways,” you snicker, shaking your head to clear the onslaught of memories, “let’s not talk about him anymore, ‘kay?”

You stand up, leaving your painting half-finished, and walk over to the big floor-to-ceiling window.

Your mansion is the biggest in the area, filled with numerous rooms and spaces that far surpassed the amount you need for basic living. Your art room – easily the biggest room, even topping your master bedroom – houses a beautiful glass window that overlooks the property.

“Besides,” you say, clapping your hands, “we have more important things to worry about.” You turn to him and squeal, jumping up and down. “My art exhibit is in a couple of months! Can you believe it, Yeonjun?"

Your excitement has you skipping around the room in glee. You’ve been planning your own exhibit for months and now that it's drawing nearer, you feel more excited than nervous. You hope with all your heart that this exhibit could finally paint you in a proper light, letting you shine as 'the young, twenty-something art extraordinaire' instead of the 'resident fuckgirl who's only good for a weekend.'

“I know, sweetie.” Yeonjun smiles, feeling genuinely happy for you. But before he can further share in your excitement, the doorbell rings.

The noise makes you glance at your watch and smirk. Right on time.

Together, you and Yeonjun walk down the massive staircase to greet your guest, and Jung Hoseok hears you before he even catches sight of you — the clicking of your heels resonating loudly across the living room. He turns his head to the sound and smiles handsomely at the both of you.

For a few moments, none of you say a word but the electricity between you and your guest is hard to ignore.

"Shall I leave you to your business?" Yeonjun breaks the silence, directing the question at you. After all, at this point, he already knows the drill whenever you have your guests over.

You nod, never taking your eyes off Hoseok's and your butler immediately excuses himself.

Once it's just the two of you left, Hoseok holds out a hand to you. “Jung Hoseok. Pleasure to meet you."

You tell him your name, placing your hand in his and immediately, he brings it up to gently brush his lips against your knuckles. “Pleasure's all mine, Hoseok."

“Just Hobi is fine, gorgeous."

He winks at you and smiles. And just like all the other times, you feel yourself falling. Spiralling. Obsessing.

“Hobi…” you repeat, “shall we go over the terms of your company's sponsorship for my art exhibit?”

“Of course,” he responds. "Shall we discuss it in your office?"

"Oh no," you feign disappointment.

"What is it?"

“I'm terribly sorry, Hobi,” you utter, “but my office is under renovations at the moment—"

(It isn't.)

"—and I’m afraid it's not convenient for business discussions for the time being.”

“Is that so?” Hoseok muses, his eyes on your lips as you purse them contemplatively. “Should we take our discussion somewhere else, then?” He offers, not wanting to cut his visit short.

He stares right into your pretty eyes and he swears you've performed some sort of magic right then and there because he finds himself right under your spell.

“Good idea." You smile, your hand sliding up to rest on the crook of his elbow as you lead him up your stairs. “I know the perfect place.”

And that's how he found himself in your bedroom, sitting on the edge of your immaculate bed with your head bobbing up and down between his legs.

"Shit," he curses when you take him deeper in your mouth. "Yeah, that's it, gorgeous."

You look up at him with wide eyes, making sure to maintain eye contact when you swallow around him. He bites his lip at the feeling, his thumb reaching out to wipe the stray tears running down your cheek.

You look so pretty. So fucking gorgeous.

Hoseok wonders how the hell he managed to get an invitation to your bed. Sure, he's quite attractive but you're in a whole other league of your own. You're way up there on a pedestal, you and the other chaebols in your wealthy family's circle. Whereas, he's just a mere businessman trying to negotiate a sponsorship proposal.

But, fuck, he's not complaining.

You whine when he pulls you up and onto his lap, your lips releasing his dick with a pop. Feeling needy, you suckle at the soft skin of his neck while he desperately removes your clothes and then his.

"Hobi," you whimper into his neck and the sound goes straight to his already hard cock. "Need you. Please."

"Shit," he groans when you rub your leaking core against his thigh. "Hold on to me."

You comply, wrapping your arms and legs around him, and he stands up to walk the both of you towards your bedroom's clear, glass window. Just like the one in your art room, this one spans wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling, and overlooks the front of the mansion.

He sets you down on your feet and turns you around so that you're looking out. Your pussy dribbles even more arousal at the sight of your enormous front gates from the distance, the thought of being seen turning you on.

"Hobi," you whine when you feel his throbbing cock prodding at your entrance, and push your ass out in response.

"Don't hold back, gorgeous," he tells you when you let out a muffled moan. "I want the whole mansion to hear you."

He enters you swiftly, making you groan loudly and press your palms against the window. He pulls back, making you whine desperately and shift your weight on your feet. He slams back inside roughly, making you scream incoherently and fuck yourself back on him.

"That's it," Hoseok groans, "fuck me back."

And you do.

He thrusts into you in rough but deep thrusts. You fuck back into him, arching your back, causing your tits to press against the glass. The added stimulation to your nipples makes you play with your clit, making figure eight motions and heightening your pleasure.

"Shit, gorgeous. You're creaming."

He sees a creamy ring of white on the base of his cock and curses, the sight pushing him closer to his climax. You only whine in response, clenching around him uncontrollably.

"Hobi, I'm gonna—"

"Cum with me, gorgeous," he coaxes you. "Now."

You obey, cumming around him while he finishes inside you. You're breathing heavily, relishing in the warmth of his release and he just chuckles affectionately at your fucked out face.

He pulls out of you and when you lead him back to your bed, he suddenly feels exhausted. His eyes can barely stay open and the last thing he remembers before sleep takes over him is your voice telling him three little words.

When Hoseok wakes up, he sees you all dressed, propped up on the headboard and glaring at him.

"What's wrong, gorgeous?" he asks groggily.

"Who's Sooah?" you ask him immediately, your voice clipped.

"What?"

You show him the unlocked phone in your hand. His phone.

"What the fuck? You went through my phone?"

"She was texting you nonstop. Who is she?"

"She's a colleague, not that I need to explain myself to you. And she's the venue coordinator for your art exhibit!"

"I don't beleve you!"

"How the fuck did you even know my password?"

"Are you cheating on me?" you demand, tears falling down your face.

"Cheating on you?" he repeats your question incredulously. "We literally just met!"

But you aren't listening to him. No, you're spiralling, clutching your hair and looking at him desperately. "Did I do something wrong? Is she prettier than me? Is she—"

"You're insane," he cuts you off, frightened at your sudden behavior. As quickly as he possibly can, he puts on his clothes and scrambles towards your bedroom door. "Fuck this shit, I'm leaving."

To his surprise, you don't follow him, though he can hear your heartbroken wails all the way to the front door. When he gets to his car, his eyes widen and his jaw drops.

"WHAT THE FUCK? YOU WRECKED MY CAR?!" he yells, the question directed at you but his exasperated eyes are trained on his wrecked vehicle.

The punctured tiles, cracked windshield, and dented exterior would cost him a fortune. But he decides that's a problem for another day. Right now, he just has to get out of here.

"Crazy bitch," he mutters when he finally exits your property gates on foot.

Back in your room, you cry your heart out while Yeonjun caresses your hair comfortingly.

Your butler knows the drill by now. You just need one day to cry all your tears, another day to forget about it, and around three more days to move on.

Which is why, a few days later, Yeonjun opens the door to a charming, dimpled face. He leads the man to the living room where you're waiting and leaves you two to your business.

"What's your name?" you ask your guest.

"Kim Namjoon," he replies, taking your hand and kissing it. "Pleasure to meet you, gorgeous."

A heartbeat. Then another.

And then you smile.

COPYRIGHT 2023. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[kiyomitakada]

vent ish

i mean obviously a calendar change from a year to another year wouldn’t have fixed me anyway but i didn’t expect to feel this bad like i don’t know why today of all days i feel even more like cutting off all human contact changing my name and running away to another city. i made a half joking resolution yesterday to stop disappearing and now i just want to do it more because it feels like there are needles in my throat. and i mean i thought college would fix me too because i haven’t talked to my ex in a year but noooo i can’t maintain a stable conversation with anyone because what if they force me to stop talking to anyone else forever i guess. i mean maybe it’s not even my ex’s fault this started four years ago before we started really dating and it’s only gotten worse like i barely think about her anymore i missed her birthday this year and only realized two weeks after the fact (she wished me a happy birthday before then and i never responded because i’m a terrible person) (but also to be fair she broke up with me first i have the right). i haven’t talked to one of my favorite irl people (not my ex lmao) in four months and she thinks i hate her because she missed my birthday (she didn’t have wifi for that month because she was on vacation) and like literally i could clear this up just by texting her because i’m not mad at all but i haven’t had the energy to. in four months. i would say i’m probably cluster b people’s worst nightmare due to the abandonments georg of it all but frankly i’m probably everyone’s worst nightmare like what the fuck man. i feel like at this point im only fixable by adhd medication or counseling but i tried counseling once and just lied to the counselor the entire time so that’s right out. and maybe this isn’t executive dysfunction maybe it’s szpd. or maybe it’s just me as a person and everyone feels this way but can overcome it. i don’t know. i don’t think going no-contact with everyone you love for half-years at a time is normal. i don’t think staying in touch should be difficult. i don’t know if writing this all out is even helping or if it’s just going to make everything worse. maybe this afternoon i’ll manage to look at discord servers long enough to say happy new year to my friends who aren’t on this blog. i miss them a lot. i wish there was a way of telling them without telling them. light says it’s about going through the motions and he’s wrong about a lot of things but he did survive to 23 (27+ in the universe i’m quoting hey) so he has a point probably it’s just that going through the motions is so hard when there’s someone else in the equation whose actions i can’t predict. possibly i should be prohibited from ever making friends again for the safety of mankind. but hey calendar changes aren’t real anyway who cares other than everyone else on the planet am i right. january second might be better. new year’s resolution is be at least as good a person every day as i was the day before that. i watched wicked yesterday and i liked it. look, it’s tomorrow

[servantserah]

If this is still canon, can you write about FrAsh biggest fight because of Gabriel?

Cw for emotional abuse

Strap in, this is going to be a bit longer.

Gabriel has been treating Francis like absolute shit ever since their parents died. The decade-long emotional abuse has left its mark on Francis and for the longest time, he struggled to accept that his relationship with his brother was hurting him and couldn’t continue like this.

Fran's closest friends have been trying to show him how toxic and abusive Gabriel is for decades but Fran would not stop excusing his brother‘s behavior. A few years into their relationship, Ash met Gabriel and they also became frustrated and vocal about this whole thing as it obviously hurt them to see this happening to Fran. This went on for a bit until stuff happened and things escalated.

Gabriel is a manipulative arse who always tries to make Fran's life miserable, so of course he also tried to mess with FrAsh‘s relationship. Gabriel has eventually managed to bring out an ugly, nasty side of Francis that was so unlike him - just as he had planned. So one day when he and Ash had a fight about Gabriel’s behavior, things kept getting more and more heated until Francis ended up saying something very hurtful to Ash.

Ash knew that what Francis said was nothing he truly believed in himself and that it was all Gabriel speaking out of him. But it obviously still hurt, as well as seeing Francis suffer from his brother’s treatment. Ash and Fran needed space from each other for a few days before either of them felt ready to talk about what happened.

This ultimately made Francis accept just how miserable his brother made him feel, that he didn’t deserve that kind of treatment and that if things kept going on like this, Gabriel's goal of making Francis lose his loved ones might just come to be.

This was his wake-up-moment and with the help of Ash and his closest friends (aka those he considered to be his family and who actually made him feel happy instead of miserable), he finally found the strength to cut ties with his brother.

…this is actually an abbreviated version, there’s still so much more to the whole Gabriel issue, stuff he has done and I haven’t even yet mentioned Fran's survivor's guilt that Gabriel feeds into,,,,

Definitely not coping with some irl experiences with this, nope nope, not at all noooppee

drawing from 2022:

[sugudoe]

Hello!! I hope you're doing well and hope you continue to do as well. I have recently stumbled across your account and I was wondering if I could get a JJK man match up (ITS HONESTLY SO EXCITING TO READ AND YOU DO IT SO WELL ❤️ 🥹)

So well about me:

- Considering my ethnicity, I can be considered pretty average tbh maybe 167 cm and a bit chubby but nothing on the extreme.

- For my personality, I can be considered the quite kid like not the mysterious one just someone who likes to keep to herself and just keep up a good appearance in front of professors/teachers. I can be very closed off like you can spit poison down my ears and I will not give you any reaction if I deem you to be unlikable. This often comes off as rude and at times I struggle to talk to others as well due to my high social anxiety (yes, I overthink A LOT). I fo not have that much friends either and it's a struggle when I have to talk to new people but I am pretty adaptable so if I am in a new place, I will just adjust to my surroundings without making any fuss. I hate when people order me to do something or just deem me unworthy due to their attempt at generalization. Besides that I am polite and will speak to you a lot if you're my friend and let you in about my life.

-For my likes and dislikes and interests. I am a writer here on tumblr as well as in ao3 and I like to do traditional art. In my heart, I am very girly like I love to dress up, I like make up, Taylor Swift, I love wearing heels and I do LOVE pink. In entertainment media, I watch and consume everything as long as it's entertaining let it be books, manhwa, Manga, anime, movies as long as the stories appeal me, I will watch/read it.

-As for irl i am omw to pursue my dream as a medical student and hope to be a doctor someday.

Well so... that's it for me. I hope you look into this. Thank you <3

a/n: hii, thank you!! hope you like this, and hope you become an amazing doctor someday 🤍 also, i haven’t decided the layout of the matches, so it’s all a mess, sowy!

⁀➷ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠. . . ﹫ 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘰 ៹ ༉‧₊📬

You were extraordinary to the Jujutsu world, had just graduated high school, carrying your id of special grade sorcerer, many tried to get in your good grace, only to be met with a wall, be a blank face or your cursed technique ── the ability to change your surroundings, creating an illusion for the receiver. You would take their distraction as a lead to sneak away.

Choso, newest member of the good guys club, found your abilities impressive. Still he, much quieter than you could ever be, ignored you. Not in a rude way, more in an understandable manner. He saw how others would try to run you down, how the high ups had futile attempts of commanding you, and many tried to use you. He thought, in his innocent mind, that you wanted peace, so he let you be.

Soon, that picked your interest.

Like an apprehensive cat, you approached him slowly. And like a comprehensible human, he found adorable how your presence had become constant. Always in the background, shifting your attention anywhere until it landed on him. He would smile politely, but would never approach. You did, and thank God you did.

You didn’t speak much, just telling him of a mission you both were assigned, before leaving the room right away. If it wasn’t for your constant search for him, Choso would think that you, like many others, saw him as his past ── evil, a villain. Somehow, he knew deep down you didn’t. That was enough for him to always smile at you.

Your mission was easy, he mostly talked with curiosity in his voice, asking about anything, and you politely answered. Until, you became more and more… normal. Even craving his questions.

Choso and you were in a park, walking along a river, when he said he had never seen a giraffe, he knew how tall they were, and their colors, but couldn’t picture it. For the first time, you used your technique on him, and also for the first time, you used it for good on someone.

Then, he asked to see butterflies, a garden of magnolias, and lastly, a dinosaur.

For the last, though, you decided to take him on a museum when you both returned home. A museum turned into a stargazing picnic, to a beach sunrise date, to a stabilized relationship.

Choso curiosity wont ever go away, that’s something you learn after showing him everything and experimenting most of it. This wonder, though, has shifted mostly to you. He finds you the most fascinating thing the world could ever had created, and it’s far from being only because of your powers. For him, they are just dust compared to your whole self.

So, with a shy expression, you show him your writing, your arts, your clothes and favorite songs, how tall you can get with your heels and how much you love pink ── to your astonishment, the boy that always dress in black, has taken a liking to it as well. Obviously, he likes because you do, but you will find some decorations with pink in his house and smooch his flushed cheeks right away.

─┈ ⭑ ° ⋆ FUN FACTS 𓂃ᰔ

📥 ┊ you tell him of your plan to leave the jujutsu world and become a doctor, he believes you can, and he hopes to become a photographer, so he can picture everything he finds fascinating, mostly you.

📥 ┊ he soon learns to grow his own taste in media consumption, food and places. still, he loves yours as well, so it’s a common sight to have him by your side, sharing an earphone, reading the same books and mangas, or watching tv shows.

📥 ┊ he will throw a fit if you watch or read a chapter before him.

📥 ┊ best boyfriend ever.

[fangswbenefits]

Hey, I’m too shy to write this off anon but I just wanted to say that before I read your stuff, I thought I’ll only be good at writing if I wrote big chunky paragraphs and tried to get my word count as high as I could.

But after I saw your works and see how your format, small paragraph, it was so easier to read and follow. Like I’m a slow asf reader and my attention span is unbelievable — I’m used to reading big paragraphs from novels and irl books but seeing your stuff and the way you format is like… an eye opener (?)

like I didn’t realise there was a possibility that big paragraphs could be overwhelming too but seeing how fast I read your works, It was inspiring and not just that but your writing in general too the way you string words together and how nicely it flows.

Really inspiring. And your smut got me giggly and kicking my feet too. 🫠🫠I haven’t had that feeling when reading a smut in a long time but I guess you have the magic touch.

I came for the Miggy fics but I think I might be tempted to read the astarion fic you got out too.

I didn’t intend for this to be long 😭 but hope you have a good day ruby!!

Hi, friend 🥺🩷 what a lovely ask my god...... I'm at a loss for words tbh!

Okay, so! We have a lot to go through here 👀

I used to have that mindset when writing fanfiction, too, and it all boils down to preference, I suppose. There isn't a set rule as to how lengthy paragraphs should be. But I found myself getting a bit too put off by these walls of text, and my attention span would waver frequently.

So I noticed an increasing trend of even one word paragraphs, and at first I was like "oh... this might be a bit too much", but it fucking works. It evens out the flow and makes it so much easier to stay enganged.

And that's what fanfiction is all about: for those 5, 10 or 20 minutes you get to transport someone into your world and have them get lost in it. Make it count!

When I write, I'm always abusing paragraphs, even when it's not really deemed necessary. I just do it because I would love that as a reader, too, and I want you guys to have the best experience, whether it be from smut or fluff or angst.

Smut is definitely what I feel more comfortable writing. It's just like second nature to me. I picture this scene in my head and then I put it down in words, hoping that I'm skilled enough to deliver something that people might not have known they needed 🫢

I would be delighted if you gave my Astarion fic a try. In fact, give him a try. If you enjoy my writing, you'll definitely enjoy the complexity of this character and how his writer brought him to life so beautifully. The prose might difer slightly from my Miguel fics, but the Ruby essence is still there 🩷

Thank you so much for sending this and making my day 🩷

[polyamorouspunk]

This is for Weed Tips anon;

I've tried it before, and I have to give you a big heads up for trying weed; If you're one who gets nervous SUPER super easy when it comes to changes in your body, DO NOT go hard on it.

If you try smoking it, please mind the dosage and wait a few minutes before smoking it again if you don't feel the effects immediately. If you try an edible, for the love of everything PLEASE read the instructions if possible and only eat a SMALL amount depending on the amount that's in it. Edibles take a long while for the effects to hit your system, so when you see that popular meme of "'This edible ain't shit' *an hour later* 'I can taste colors'" it really is what that feels like.

Your body will relax a lot and will feel extra heavy if you don't go easy on it. I panic easily if I don't feel like I'm in control of my body. That alone has made me have a few bad trips because I felt like I wasn't feeling the effects I should have, then took another hit and ended up pretty much stuck in place for an hour or two screaming in my head because I couldn't move a muscle, not even to speak.

The stuff I've tried relaxes your body a LOT. My partner is fine with that because he has severe pain sometimes and it helps him take his mind off things for a while and feel comfortable. He enjoys it, I don't, unless I hit it extra light so I can still be able to move.

My biggest tip is if you want to try it for the first time, make sure you have someone you trust with you in case you have a bad trip and need some reassurance just in someone being present with you. Don't do it when you know you have to drive somewhere. Be in a safe environment and definitely have some snacks and water or other hydration with you. The Weed Munchies will hit ya lol

I don't want to discourage you from trying, but if you don't have a disclaimer, it really can be a bit scary if you're not told ahead of time. I hope this helped in some way though! Good luck to you anon <3

-@hoodieanon

I must apologize, i forgot to mention 🫐 anon by name. I didn't realize until reading 🫐 anon's ask back again heh

Yeah this is why I haven’t been able to try it, because I can’t do it at home, anywhere I go I drive myself, and I don’t have any irl friends who smoke. I don’t have a safety net here to try it outside of my mom who I don’t feel like she would be supportive of it even though in the past she says she would be but when I’ve actually been like okay here I go she’s like NOPE. Same with drinking. Anywhere I go out that I don’t drive my mom drives. Otherwise I drive meaning I would have to drive home. I don’t have anyone’s house or mutual place I can try stuff at without driving myself to/from, let alone any actual like. Friends.

[divinebisexualgoddess]

idk where else to put this cause i hate talking about it to friends because i have run this situation into the ground., but its also been very hard to process and accept in myself and i just need it out somewhere.

anyway i dated a guy long distance September to mid November and the first red flag was he got really upset when id just have bi colors or flags or make jokes about being bi occasionally but i sort of dropped it cause he seemed understanding once i explained my point if view and granted this was early early in the relationship.

Anyway then it became him getting worried about me being friends with guys and him “asking” me not to hang out with them and getting mad if i tried to reassure him so it got to the point i flat out had to be distant from any guy friends even gay guy friends cause “they could secretly be into women.”

then it became asking if my female friends were bi or gay and getting mad if they were and interrogating me anytime i did so much as play a valorant match with one. Then it became “well all girls kind of swing that way” and since im bi im not really allowed to hang out with anyone cause i “might cheat.”

Then he’d get angry if i was hanging out with friends irl after work and my phone died cause i had been working all day and him accusing me of cheating anytime id hang out with friends despite never having had sex never, having had kissed anyone since the second grade.

Slowly but surely he’d reassure me that i could have friends but it was much easier to just distance myself from everyone but him so i didnt risk the anger and the yelling and the accusations of things i never even thought of doing. There was also the threats of him raping me over and over and tying me up so that he didnt have to worry thinly veiled as just kinky but being brought up anytime he was angry with me for having friends. It was easier to stay hoke then argue about the fact that life360 or snapmaps had me at a weird place cause my phone service was bad and didn’t update right.

and idk it feels weird i think cause it was long distance to consider it abuse even emotional but then the people around me are so adamant it was and so worried that 1. he knows where i live and 2. if i would have were to ever see him in person he would probably harm me.

And idk why that if a friend told me the same thing i would also be adamant it was emotional abuse but when i think of it myself it feels like it wasnt or at the most i deserved it.

And it makes me nauseous to think that this all falls in like and is exactly where the statistics about bi peoples’ abuse comes from. We are considered untrustworthy because of our bisexuality and sometimes it just snowballs and how so many of my bi siblings have gone through and are going through much worse. And its hard to accept that it counts because of the distance

And ig its weird to be sick that i am now part of those statistics if i really sit to think about it and how at the same time people debate biphobia and violence about bi people on twitter.

And anyway idk i have felt like kind of a shell of myself and truthfully many of my friendships haven’t recovered from the distance i created and i cant blame them but its just shshshssh

i hope my future relationship endeavors treat me better and i hope for the safety and healthy relationships of all my bi siblings.

[theelitespear]

Diaries of a CrAsian Reborn, “Anniversary” of tumblr

10 years, 10 years I had this tumblr as a diary to share me unfiltered because I love writing and always wanted to write books as a kid. Always shared stories about worlds I have created and scrolling through this page a little bit about me however I am not expecting people to dig that deep just to figure out who I am so let me restart. Hi I am Joseph Sac, just call me Elite or Spear; We are on a social app, please have some decorum. I reserve the nickname of Joe or Joey to those who actually know me. I like to talk about professional wrestling, and a lot! It’s why when I fell into the IWC on Twitter (currently known as X) I haven’t been active long there but these last few years I have been in it have been the best days of my life. If anyone actually scrolls through here might see that I was homeless, moved to PA, maybe a little bit of about my exes, but honestly I don’t want anyone of you to actually scroll that far. If you all really want to know about me and who I am I’ll try to use this app again and start writing but we are starting all over again if you really want to know about me! I am originally from MA, but due to physical assault from my dad and all the mental abuse I have dealt with is why I am here. I may talk about anime and video games but professional wrestling gives me the one thing I have always wanted to be part of a family. I originally opened my Twitter for political activism, however due to mental health reasons we may talk about at some other time I participate in that a little less. This is why I always thank each and every one of you who have consistently supported me and my account here on Twitter. I seriously have nowhere else to go. BlueSky, FB, Threads tried them all and I honestly don’t think anything has come close to Twitter yet. All my IRL friends are either in MA, NH or my roommate (who is my ex, we’ll go over that another time). Most days I feel very alone but the internet helps me connect to the people I love most and that’s why I am always chronically online. Don’t work as much as I would want to currently but all I can do considering what’s going on in the job market and other things I will not mention. Sorry this is very long winded, was watching A Wonderful Life remembering why I wanted to make this post in the first place! I just want to say to you all thank you for giving me a family to come to even if it’s through a social media app. It counts to me more than you know. I consider myself George Bailey (main character of said movie I just mentioned), always trying to give to others just hoping one day it gives back because that’s really what life is supposed to be about; making memories with the people you are most close to regardless of the situation at hand. This is to you, that took the time out of your day to read this or anything I post! Any time we connected, any time we had a conversation this is to you! Thank you for allowing me in your space to try help you lift you up, all I ask is the same in return. Not much really, I don’t expect anyone to do anything but it would honestly mean the world to me to at least feel included somewhere!

I love you all and again thank you,

TheEliteSpear

[leviiackrman]

OC TAG GAME;

I was tagged by @marivenah @jackiesarch @minaharkers @noonfaerie + @corvosattano to do this fun little tag game with my kids, thank you sm beloveds!

Tagging: @sstewyhosseini @chuckhansen @risingsh0t @florbelles @simonxriley @confidentandgood @shadowglens @solasan @denerims @liurnia @queennymeria @roofgeese @nokstella @blissfulalchemist @detectivelokis @fenharel @jinfromyarikawa @river-ward @indorilnerevarine @shellibisshe @arklay @jacobseed @necroticpetals @heroofpenamstan @hunterhorn @unholymilf @kingsroad @baldurians @duffmckagans + @malefiicarum

FAVOURITE OC;

I think we all saw that one coming lmao. Whatever mood I’m in, either of these gals can cheer my up instantly! I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to talk about them quite a bit recently so that’s just fuelled me even more tehe

NEWEST OC;

Baby gal Kaida! The newest kid in the club with a heart of GOLD! I love her sm… I’ve wanted a purely goth oc for a v long time but haven’t found the right ‘environment’ for them you could say, so I’m glad I’ve finally been able to expand on this idea!

OLDEST OC;

Now this one I’m unsure of. Back in the day, my uc self insert was at the forefront of my entire brain BUT I also played da:o for the first time v shortly after getting my ps4 and so lyna was born, but my witcher twins were in development at the same time so I quite honestly couldn’t tell you who came first lmao

MEANEST OC;

Rin is by far the meanest of all my ocs… but she’s so good with her words that I doubt most people realise she’s even being mean yknow? Theo tho is a typical stuck up rich bitch with an awful attitude and if someone gets offended she just pays them off

SOFTEST OC;

Asami baby is the PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT of softness… like she’s so squishy and cuddly and kind and just doesn’t have a single bad bone in her body. Other ocs I was like ‘hmm they’re soft’ but then they’d have a dark moment of just pure rage… but w Asami she never has that! Just a big ol cuddle puddle🤍

MOST ALOOF/STANDOFFISH OC;

Jordan has plenty of reasons to be standoffish. She avoids people implicitly but they’re just drawn to her.. so people get confused when she tries to actively avoid them. I would’ve put her in the ‘mean’ category but she has some soft moments, but not often. Rin also falls into this category and I couldn’t decide who was more fitting so they’re both here aha

DUMBEST (AFFECTIONATE) OC;

If someone could share a brain cell with this gal that would be great. She knows she’s not smart in the slightest and that’s just what makes her so lovable! Even in her stupidity she’s pure and fun so what more could you want?

SMARTEST OC;

Obvious answer really. Her IQ is so high she could sky dive off of it… like there’s nothing scarier than a criminal who’s smarter than EVERYONE. No shmuck can outthink her and that’s what makes her so formidable, even if she’s not the burliest physically

OC I’D BE FRIENDS WITH IRL;

Omg mama Gigi is my kinda fun! I would happily be friends with a lot of them, but some of their excessive positivity would get annoying real fast to me lmao, where as Gigi knows there’s a time and place! She’s just sm fun and is down for literally anything, if you needed help she’d be there or if you just wanted to cry/vent - she’d listen! Get you a gal who can do IT ALL!

[yujeong]

Question from the Fanfic Writers Ask Game:

11. What’s something neat you’ve learned while doing research for something you were writing? Also, how much do you worry about doing research in general?

I'm extremaly curious to know what type of fandom research people do and learn about their discoveries.

Hiiii! Thank you for taking interest in this, I appreciate you sending me the ask ❤️ Hmm, I have a weird relationship with research: I always feel I do 1. No research at all and 2. Not enough, when I acknowledge to myself I had to look up at least SOME things for my fics. In general, I am ignorant about a LOT of stuff, so research feels daunting and scary and even when I discover what I want to, I don't know how to incorporate that into my stories or if it's even correct information. I feel super self-conscious about it, which is why I normally don't write fics that require knowledge I'm not at all familiar with. Cowardly, sure, but the potential mistakes are too many for me to take that risk. (I'm learning though! The next fic I'll post will include some Thai cultural stuff related to Dharma that I had to thoroughly study about. I can only hope I won't screw it up.) Self-deprecation aside, I'm going to share some of the stuff I had to research for my fics - posted or not - to help people understand what I mean:

1. I had to look up various medical facts about stabbing (how deadly it is, how much time someone needs to heal etc), due to a scene that involved one in The Knight's Pawn, 2. I looked up videos of Muay Thai sparring matches in order to be able to write a sparring match in The Knight's Pawn - as well as see the differences from western boxing. Muay Thai is also something I've researched for another fic and to properly understand Pete as a character, 3. I had to look up sooo many chess terms for The Knight's Pawn, specifically for the chapter titles and summaries. Fun fact, the title of the fic makes no sense in chess; I told my irl friend who plays chess as an amateur about it and he proceeded to lose his mind lmao, 4. This will sound silly probably, but I studied Bangkok's map in order to be able to figure out a driving path for a trip down memory lane. I specifically wanted to figure out the distance between the main and minor family compounds (fun fact, it's approximately 15 minutes by car and 1 hour via public transport). I also looked up Lumphini Park and it's how I found out about dragon lizards! Very cool creatures, I wouldn't go near one ever, though, 5. I don't know if this one counts, but for the things you can(not) change, I had to watch Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox around 5 times in order to be able to portray the parallels correctly haha, 6. Since just a mission was based on ApoBuild's Bvlgari event, I looked up the venue it took place in, which is Icon Siam near Chao Phraya River, one of the most famous shopping malls in Bangkok, 7. For To Consume and Be Consumed's 1st chapter I had to... um... look up if it's possible for someone to not get an erection even if both the prostate and the penis are stimulated for a long period of time. The results suggested it is, so I tried to not stress over it too much 😅 The reception of the chapter was a lot better than I anticipated too, so I was happy with it, 8. Now, to start off about the fics that haven’t been posted yet and to remain in the spirit of the horny, I've looked up about autoerotic asphyxiation, if it's safe to use ice cream during sex (it isn't), if it's safe to have sex when someone is sick (it depends), the effects of GHB and how damaging a human bite can be (a lot if it's not treated immediately due to the bacteria in our mouths), 9. In the same realm, I've done a LOT of studying about La Pietà, the famous sculpture by our boy Michelangelo, so much so that for a while I couldn't escape it - I was seeing it everywhere. I'll keep the reasons for doing such research hidden for now, but it does involve smut xoxo, 10. I've only scratched the surface for this one, but I have begun studying about chronic pain for a post-canon VP fic I want to write. It doesn't involve smut and I don't think it will, but you never know, 11. Again, idk if it counts, but I've read Uzumaki for a NonWhite/TeeWhite fic I want to write one day, in order to draw parallels and whatnot. I'm very into parallels in case you haven't noticed haha, 12. Last, but certainly not least, the most difficult thing I've been researching and will probably never stop researching is Buddhism. To truly get Pete, you need to understand even the basics of Dharma and there are just so many things I don't know about it. Baby steps, but I'm getting there.

[jolalibrary]

hii! this might be quite personal and I mean no offense but how do you write so much? do you block time out (and how do you write so well?) I need to know!!!

I’m sorry I’ve sat on this one for a few days anon! my personal life has been a shit-show and I always worry if I respond when im under stress my British-wit/snark comes across as bitchiness 😂 because what I want to say is—

poor mental health + shit sleeping routine + a head full of stories

but that sounds flippant, doesn’t it? even if I mean it in jest. so I sat on it to give you and anyone else that will read this, the below insights into me, jo. a person you may follow, someone you may check in on but don’t follow, or someone who makes you seethe from a corner hahahah.

one. I have always created stories in my head. which sounds cliche, but it’s true. i assume there’s some psychological explanation like avoidance because I don’t have the tools to deal with real life or that I prefer the version of myself in my head than irl. but that’s point one. my head is full of them. and for as long as I can remember, on and off, it’s always been there. I didn’t always write, admittedly, but I thought about them. maybe made my dolls reenact them or created the story on the sims.

two. point one leads nicely into point two, but I find life very overwhelming a lot of the time. I cope, I function, but writing helps me so much. so I tend to do it daily. I physically can feel when I haven’t—like there’s too many voices, too many things bursting around inside of me. it’s how I cope with my mood disorder, and I’m happy to say 8/10 it works. (this is partially why I don’t get fazed by numbers, im going to write regardless if I share it, and if I do share it, there’s zero expectation from me anyone will read it. it’s more a gift from my brain to your day, you know?)

three. because of point two (see a theme here) I struggle to sleep. a good day for me is six hours. a bad day is three. somewhere in the middle I tend to cope and function. sometimes, when life is really fucking hard, I’ll have eight hours and you can tell—because I actually do not write. it usually means I’m burnt out, honestly.

four. more pleasant now, less scene setting than before, but I plan out things. before I share a series I’ll bank a handful of chapters in case my muse fucks off on vacation (the wench) and I’ll always write an ending so I can go about writing out of order (because I do not write anything in order, not a chapter, not a series or a one shot). so mainly, I find a routine that works for me. I cannot force myself to write chronologically, so why bother? you know? circles don’t go in square holes and all of that.

five. I’m rigid with my upload dates. yes, for lovely followers this means waiting, and for me this gives structure — which helps massively with points one to three. but it also buys me time. it gives me the chance to sit in my feelings when I share a chapter, and think logically about what I want the next chapter to feel like. I also like having dates associated to characters in my head, because it gives me some focus of when I should share it.

six. I can write on my phone, at a laptop and in a notebook. the phone one helps massively as I can do so anywhere and any place. this has meant long drives provide oneshots you all love, chapters have been written on planes and things that make you all hate me are written in bed, in the dead of the night, while the rest of the world sleeps. but again, I found a system that works for me. writing at night is my best and most productive time, so I had to adapt to be able to do so effectively without making my husband worry about me.

seven. surround yourself with people who don’t judge you for writing copious amounts. I’ve tried to do the fitting in thing, I’ve tried to dilute myself, and I’ve tried to lessen uploading because of comments “friends” have made or asks I’ve gotten. find people who celebrate you even one on one, because that’s when you’re creativity will really bloom.

eight. I mentioned earlier about process, but I have a process that works for me in terms of plotting. I do a few rounds of different things which I call skeleton, muscle and then skin. but my friend ( @thetriumphantpanda hi babe) loves to create mood boards before she begins. we all have processes and it’s finding one that works for you. my process helps me share all the things I do with you.

nine. I tell the story I want to tell. I pour my heart out onto a screen because I want too. and because im pleasing myself first and foremost, it allows me to feel creative. for the only time in my life, I am in control and I get to put myself first.

ten. I love writing about love. I love grand gestures, and small little moments; I love big speeches, and I also love the head turn and a simple, you’re not too bad you’re not. I love it all. and because of that, I fucking love what I do on here.

so, to answer the question what started all of this off, I write so much because I love what I do, because I can, and because i do it for me first with the secondary hope I make one persons day. that’s it. that’s my baseline, one person outside of me. the rest is just a bonus.

so, find the thing you love to write about, and just write it. take your time. there’s no right or wrong way to do it. write ten words a day or a hundred or a thousand. spend days moving a full stop or a comma or weeks thinking an idea over but not making a single note.

however you choose to do it, make sure you have fun. because otherwise, it’s just a job, and we already have to give to much of our days to that as it is.

[ramblingdisaster73]

I really, really hope you're wrong about not getting a resolution or Carlos not openly acknowledging his flaws because i'm going to have a hard time enjoying his character if we don't. I was fine after ep. 1 but after this one? It really felt like Carlos was being unnecessarily hurtful to TK, whether he said anything directly or not, and he definitely fed TK's guilt (which he didn't even deserve). I really hope the writers address it because I love the character, but this new side isn't for me.

Me too and the more I think about it (especially after seeing Roxana Brusso added to the cast list for next week) that we may get something. I think the focus with any scene of Carlos & TK will be similar to either 2x08 or 3x04 – just the relief of being alive/found/together.

This show has loves it’s parallels, what better parallel to have than use some type of dream sequence/flashback type thing with Andrea & Carlos in 4x04 after the one with Gwyn & TK in 3x04.

I don’t think that we will see anything on screen about how Carlos reacted to the situation with Iris directly to TK. But to Andrea? I can see that happening.

I know a lot of others have pointed this out as well, but we have always known that he will avoid uncomfortable things (2x02 TK asks “When am I going to meet your parents?” & Carlos replies “Want more punch?”), he will lie if he thinks it will work (2x04 “This is TK, a friend from work” when introducing TK to his parents), he can be petty as hell (the dinner scene in 3x13), & his control freak nature – have just never really been as much of a focus as they are right now. We saw him stumble, but we never saw his flaws make him fall.

Right now, that is exactly what we are watching. We are watching him stumble so bad that he doesn’t know which way is up. We & Carlos are seeing what happens when we keep parts of our lives in separate boxes, trying to control each one, when we keep important information from the people closest to us for too long – when it blows up in his face like it is now.

He has made bad decision after bad decision. But he doesn’t make them maliciously, he really tries to put everyone above himself (honestly, he has this in common with TK), but right now – he just sees his whole life imploding.

I don’t really think that he is currently capable of thinking clearly, rationally at this point, at least not about Iris or TK. He is running on emotion – which is not something Carlos does – I’m not saying that he doesn’t feel emotion, because he does, but he doesn’t run on it like TK can.

It's always easier to shut out, piss off, upset the ones closest to you. You know that they will be there for you once you get your shit back together. I think that is a part why Carlos was acting that way towards TK. I didn’t like it either, but honestly, I can’t say I haven’t done the same in the past irl.

I am personally loving that others are finally getting to see that Carlos is human, that the character, like any person, isn’t perfect. I don’t think any of his actions make him a bad person or character, or even bad for TK. It just makes him more realistic.

It also helps that they have been clear that Tarlos is endgame & all roads lead to the wedding, it makes the rough patches easier to bear. Being blessed with an amazing cast that truly loves their characters is awesome too.

I do think what we saw in 4x03 was a more extreme version of the Carlos we have always known, meant to showcase his flaws and make HIM realize what changes he needs to make, that holding it all in doesn’t help anyone – & doesn’t help him at all, just turns his life into a ticking time bomb.

Sorry, this kinda got away from me. The more I write and think about it, the better I feel about the whole thing. I don’t love it, but I love them. I love that we get to see their story unfold – the good & the bad.  

[frosensims]

some personal shit.. (non sims 4 related, or maybe a little bit at the end of this post lol)

i recently found out that i’m autistic. which explains a lot of my issues in the daily life. it was a shock but at the same time it was such a relief to found out bc it gave me so many answers to all the questions i’ve had throughout the years. now i know why some things are hard for me and why i am the way i am.

i don’t really know why i am writing this.. but honestly i don’t talk much about this irl with the people i know. when i told some people that i know the response was like - “but you don’t look autistic” and stuff like that. so, does autism have a face now?? no it doesn’t. it makes me angry when people are like “no, you’re not autistic, if you were we would have known” and stuff like that. but believe me, i’ve always known that it was something. i’ve always known that i functioned differently. maybe i didn’t know it was autism, but i knew it was something.

i’m glad that i got in touch with the psychological care. now i get the help and the tools i need to cope with everyday life.

but i do have a long way to go still, there’s still some stuff i’m trying to figure out. there’s still some stuff i’m learning about myself. for example, i can’t work right now. i’m seeing everyone else just go to work, or go to school, and making money and seeing friends and all of that social life stuff. but i’m mostly at home because i can’t do shit right now. i’m also living with anxiety & depression in addition to my autism. and i haven’t been able to work for three years now. i do study to pass grades that i didn’t get in high school. i didn’t get an exam. but right now i’m having a break from school as well bc i’ve been at my lowest.

i just want to be able to work. i want to be done with school. i want to get out there. but for me, it all takes some time. i get contributions (do u call it that in English? when u get money from the state example bc you’re sick or there’s other reasons you can’t work, or you need some more time to finish school) anyway, that’s how it works in sweden so luckily i manage financially for now. but i don’t have all the time in the world to pass school. i’ve applied for another year of financial support so that i can finish school. but I haven’t gotten a response yet and that’s stressing me out because my currently financial contributions ends in july.

so yeah.. now u know a little bit about me & my life. don’t really know what i wanted out of this, i think i just needed to write about this and get it out of my brain. i’m not looking for answers or compassion or anything. more like, a reminder that we all go through though things. and that we’re not alone in it.

i also want to thank the sims community and my mutuals and like, yeah this game in general. bc it honestly is a lifesaver sometimes. you can just disappear from the real world a little bit. and since i can’t work right now, i’m playing a lot of sims and hanging out in here and talking to other simblrs and it really brightens my days. so thank you! <3

also i want to apologize for bad grammar if there’s any, i’m swedish okayyyy, i tried my best lol