#i haven’t met w anyone yet but damn

[housecow]

trying to reconnect w old friends is so weird. i’m 70lbs heavier than when i saw them last but im more myself than ever?? like. i have stuff figured out now. yes i get out of breath walking places and sometimes even talking but. i shouldn’t feel that weird about it bc of my weight right??

[lightlycareless]

I probably should be writing up my other requests, but I've decided to follow up on this ask and write a little drabble of how Toji and your daughter, Naomi (Naoya's the dad) met the first time. Just something silly lol. Hope you enjoy it nonetheless :) ngl i'm nervous i've never written toji before lmao.

warnings: none.

The first time he sees her was during one of his tedious, yet necessary visits to the Zen’in estate—a sulking child dejectedly playing with their toys by one of the many gardens.

The sight of children always irritated him, mostly those inside the estate because it meant they were his relatives one way or the other, and since he doesn’t really care for his “family” he barely gives the child a brief glance before continuing with his day.

The second time he sees her again would be under similar circumstances: dejectedly playing with her toys while in the same garden. This time however, in the company of someone else, presumably a staff member given their clothes.

But even when accompanied while doing what a kid could love the most (or so does Toji believe) she still looked as gloomily as ever, sulking with that pout he couldn’t see as anything else but whiny, if not brattish.

«That’s none of my business» he’d say as he moved on with his day yet again. Although the question of who could be the parent of such a miserable child settles in his mind.

Yet, his curiosity wouldn’t get the best of him until seeing her for a third time, and seemingly worse than before: moping around by one of the engawa, toys set aside, while looking down to the floor in such a depressed way Toji swore he saw the kid crying.

At this point, he just needed to know: is this child really that miserable? If so, why haven’t their parents done anything about it?? Not that he expected the Zen’in to care for the wellbeing of anyone outside “the greater good of the clan”, but if his experience was of any help, the one thing they disliked the most after disappointments, was drama.

With curiosity peaked to its highest, as well as feeling something very demure, almost undetectable, called pity, Toji decides to approach her.

“You’ve been moping around for 3 consecutive days; you better have a damn good reason to be this miserable.” Toji says, perhaps in the worst way possible someone could talk to a child; but one must excuse him, he doesn’t have much experience with kids outside of his own—and even then, it’s not that good.

Well, at least she didn’t run away at the sight of him like others have.

“d…n..t b..d… w…ds..” the young child says, no— murmurs. And in such an unintelligible way that Toji just can’t help but groan out of exasperation.

“Talk clearly.” He orders. “Why am I even trying…”

“Don’t say bad words!!” The little girl cries. “Or mama will ground you…”

“No need to yell, kid.” Toji frowns. “Anyways, is that why you’re all whiny? You grounded or something?”

The child doesn’t respond with anything else but a sniffle and a nod, before hugging her knees to bury her face in them.

“Why were you grounded for?”

“…Because I said a bad word.” She eventually murmurs again.

“I can’t hear you.” He scolds.

“Because I said a bad word!” She cries, and this makes Toji laugh.

“Really? That’s all?” He teases, still not believing her words. She frowns. “Back in my day one got grounded for a lot worse.”

Toji doesn’t know what he was expected; maybe to see her react the same snappy way his son always does, engage in a push-and-pull bickering that would just end up with him mocking her.

But she doesn’t, instead, she just stares at him for a few seconds before going back to her knees.

And that makes him feel a bit… let down.

“This got you really upset, huh?”

…

Silence.

He sighs.

“What’s the sentence?”

“Hm?” She looks up from her knees, a curious yet saddened look on her face.

“What are you grounded with?”

“…Mama said I can’t eat sweets for two weeks.”

Toji wishes to laugh, really, because this punishment was hilariously silly compared to what he expected, with a completely exaggerated reaction to follow! But… he supposes that for the spoiled kid he’s slowly starting to label her as, that might be the worst thing ever.

“Well, you’re already 3 days in. Just 11 to go.”

“But I don’t want to be grounded!” she cries. “I want sweets!!”

“Calm down, kid—it’s not the end of the world.”

“That’s easy for you to say… you’re not grounded.”

“I’ve been grounded, and with worse things too.” He says, and of course…

“Like what?”

She needs to know. Toji regrets ever saying anything immediately after.

“Uh, well, I got to do things I didn’t like either; you got it easy kid, I would’ve done anything to be punished like you were.” Truly, anything outside of being thrown into a pit of curses would’ve been a thousand times better.

“Sweets are too good.” the little girl excuses. “There’s nothing better than that!”

“They can ruin your teeth and make you all giddy if you eat too many.”

“… That’s what papa said too.” She pouts.

“Well, he’s right.” Toji says, and at the mention of both parents, he can’t help but wonder… “What’s your name, kid?”

“Naomi!” she responds instantly. ��Naomi Zen’in.”

“Nao—” Toji blinks, twisting his face into a combination of surprise and… disgust? Did Naobito have another kid? At his old age? Really?? “Naomi?”

Maybe he heard wrong, but Naomi only nods excitedly.

“But everyone calls me princess.” She continues. “Because papa says I’m a princess and everyone should treat me as such!”

That… well, that doesn’t sound like anything Naobito would say, unless his old age is finally getting to him? If that’s the case…wow—Toji never thought he’d live to see this happen.

Still wants to be sure though.

“Who’s your dad?”

Naomi blinks.

“You don’t know who papa is?” She asks, with a delicate mocking tone that reassures him she’s a Zen’in. “Everyone knows who my papa is!”

“I’m not everyone.” He scowls, a reaction that rattles Naomi a bit. He sighs. “I’m not around that often so I don’t know what goes down at the estate—just tell me his name, kid.”

“Papa.” Naomi responds proudly, before Toji’s laughter swiftly wipes the joy out of her face. “…What?”

“That’s not his name” he continues laughing. “He has a name, just like you.”

“…is papa’s name not papa?”

“Like you’re not named princess, that’s what people call you.” Around the same way he’s called a disgrace, but that’s a story for another time. “You don’t know your dad’s name? What about your mom?”

“…Mama…”

“Come on, kid, you must know something.”

“My name is not kid.” She frowns, before pressing her lips together in order focus on discovering their names—to no avail.

Not even her own parents were to be of any help, since they’d always use pet names when referring to one another, or at least from what she recalled.

But there is one title that eventually manages to cross her mind, one that her mama would use when she’s feeling playful, tease her papa with it…

“Captain…?”

“Captain?” Toji raises an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to—”

Wait.

Captain… who holds a title like that inside the Zen’in estate? There are only two groups that he knows of that have such a position, the kukuru and the hei.

But if she was the daughter of someone from the kukuru unit, she wouldn’t be allowed to freely roam the estate, so that only leaves one—

No.

No way.

She couldn’t.

Is that why—

“Naoya?” Toji breathes. “Your dad is Naoya??”

That wimpy kid that would secretly follow him around whenever at the estate, but never approach him?

The brattish heir of the Zen’in?

The one no one liked? Not even his subordinates?

That man—that man was a father now?

Well shit, consider him rightfully surprised.

“Yes!” She grins, nodding. “Mama said I was named like him!”

Oh, now he remembers. The whole charade when his engagement was first announced, followed by his wedding.

He was invited to the ceremony too, but didn’t go, or more likely, didn’t stay for the whole thing. Just took whatever he could from there and left—he does remember thinking that it wouldn’t take long before Naoya divorced her or something…

But this little girl’s existence proved that his relationship not only endured but flourished—and given the way she spoke of him, Naoya hadn’t been as precarious as he believed. If anything, he was proving to be a better father than anyone could expect of the Zen’in!

No doubt, work of your influence; it must be, you’re still around after all…

Well, all that he could say regarding this situation was good for her. Naomi is certainly living a better life than anyone in her similar circumstances would’ve gotten.

“Your mom is Y/N, isn’t she?” Toji asks, Naomi nods. “Well, you’re certainly unexpected.”

Alongside the fact that spoiled brat Naoya managed to behave as a proper parent by punishing her daughter. Certainly seemed like it would happen from what little he was able to perceive of their family dynamic.

No wonder she was upset, this was probably the first time she had experienced the consequences of her actions. But if so, what did she do?

“Anyways, what word did you say to get you grounded?”

She shakes her head.

“No! I’m not telling! Or you’ll tell mama… just like Mariya-chan….”

Toji chuckles.

“I won’t”

Naomi continues shaking her head, not yet convinced. At least she’s not that naïve.

“Really, I mean it.” He insists. “What is that thing that always—ah, right.”

Toji offers Naomi his pinky finger.

“I pinky promise.”

And just like that, Naomi smiles, taking his pinky with hers. Well, maybe she was still naïve.

“Ok!” she nods, and without further precedent— “I said fuck!”

He chokes for a quick second, before erupting into laughter.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear right—what —what did you say?”

“Fuck!”

He laughs harder. Oh, boy was this funnier than he imagined!eHe

“What was that again? I didn’t catch that.”

“Fuuuuuckkkkk!!” Naomi whines, irritated. “Why can’t you listen?? Are you deaf???”

It’s not that he wasn’t listening appropriately, oh no, he heard her very well.

But rather, he just couldn’t stop himself from finding the way she said such common word in her little voice hilarious. It was just… funny to hear a little kid a word they shouldn’t be saying. When the kid wasn’t his, of course.

“Where’d you learn to say that?” Toji asks, doing his best to hold back his laughter, less he wants to lose this gold mine of entertainment!

“One of mama’s friends taught me! Satoru-nii” Naomi responds, his amusement dies soon after.

“Satoru…?” He repeats slowly. “As in Gojo Satoru?”

She nods.

Guess it’s not that funny anymore.

“You need better friends than him, kid.” Toji advises.

“Why? Are you better?” Naomi frowns. Well, there’s no doubt now that she’s Naoya’s daughter.

“Just saying” he shrugs.

“…I’m sorry.” She apologizes. Now that came from you. “…I really like Satoru-nii, but mama said he could be… weird.”

«That’s an easy way to put it.» Toji thinks. “She’s right, you know?”

“But he’s so funny…”

“But she’s still your mom.” Toji says; unsure why he’s even justifying you. Naomi’s not his kid, after all.

“But Satoru-nii is her friend!”

“But she’s still your mom.” He repeats. It’s a “lesser evil” type of thing. But really, he dislikes both families.

“But he’s my friend too!”

“But you—"

Toji, recognizing the pattern of endless back and forth bickering he’s slowly falling into, immediately puts an end to this conversation by muttering a low “ok, we’re not doing that.” standing up and readying his departure—but not before lightly ruffling her hair, making Naomi whine.

“Just keep out of trouble, kid.” And so, he leaves, barely allowing Naomi to respond as she’s forced to nothing but see the strange, yet oddly familiar man, disappear into the hallways.

Toji would continue to see Naomi the following days, and with the same sulkiness that made him rightfully assume she was still grounded.

The difference now is that whenever Naomi noticed him, she’d greet him with an eager wave alongside a toothy grin that initially confused him, believing it was directed at someone else, before realizing that this only happened each time he was around—so yes, it was him that she acknowledged.

And this was, to say the least, quite… heartwarming.

Yes, even a man like himself could feel such a thing—something he never thought he’d experience in his life… at least inside the Zen’in estate. To be seen, even if was by a child, and be happy about it.

He sighs.

Ok, fine. Even when their interactions were limited, he still grew a bit fond of the child. She’s still a bit bratty according to Toji’s parameters, but she’s also nice, and very funny; a very needed change for the always boring, cold, mocking, and stupid people around the estate.

So… why not? Sure, she might’ve done something wrong, but it wasn’t that bad. She deserves a break too, you know? He sure ain’t getting it for himself.

Thus, the next time he sees her…

“Here, brat. So you stop moping around.” He says, dumping Naomi with a white box. The girl blinks, far too intrigued and confused by his gift to bother correcting him. “Come on now, open it.”

Naomi doesn’t need to be told twice before her little hands swiftly rip the tape holding the edges of the box and lifting the lids, eyes soon glistening with excitement upon realizing what it was.

“For me?!” She breathes; big round eyes scanning through all its delicious contents: nothing less than chocolates.

“If you can keep a secret.”

“Mama said secrets are not good.” She frowns, Toji sighs.

“Well then, don’t keep it a secret. See if you’ll get in trouble.”

Naomi pouts, shaking her head.

“… thank you.” She eventually says, with a smile that makes Toji a bit homesick. “Um…”

“What now?” he raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t know your name.”

Oh. Right. He asked for her name but didn’t introduce himself. Better late than never.

“Toji.”

“Tooojiiii” she repeats slowly, as if testing out the name before giggling. “Thank you Toji-nii!”

“No—Don’t—don’t call me that.” He says, with a scowl that isn’t really meant out of disgust, but rather… it just made him uncomfortable. He didn’t even call Jinichi that! What made anyone think he’d like it for himself?!

“Then what do I call you…?” she frowns, as if this were the most trivial thing to ponder about.

And Toji wishes to say “just my name” before moving on…

But when all the possible outcomes this window of opportunity provided appeared before his mind’s eye, his lips parted into a smile.

He might as well take a chance.

“Well, there is one way you can call me.”

By the start of the second week—not that this hadn’t been the case since the first day—you began to feel very, very regretful for having “punished” your daughter.

Yes, you knew this was bound to happen when you became a mother, and yes, as much as it was endearing to give, you also needed to take…

But oh, you just loved your cute daughter so, so much, all you ever wanted was to see her happy! And alongside the rumors you’ve heard of her behavior apparently being so pitiful since she was grounded… was it really a surprise to anyone that you’ve decided to go against your word and revoke her punishment a bit early?

She still went through a week of it, of course, hopefully enough to get the point across—Besides, it was just one small thing, surely your decision wouldn’t affect the lesson to be learned… that much, right?

At least that is what you tell yourself as you approach Naomi during one of her playtimes, calling out her name before taking a seat by her side and gently hugging her. It warms your heart that even when upset about being grounded, she’s still as lovable as ever given the way her face brightens up when seeing you and tightly hugging you back.

“What are you doing, little pumpkin?” you ask.

“Playing, mama. But I’m hungry.” She whines, you chuckle.

“Well, food is almost ready.” You lean down to kiss the top of her head. “Have you been good while I’ve been away?”

“Always!” she gasps. “…I guess.”

“Why do you guess?” you ask, tilting your head to the side. Naomi has never been the unsure one. “Aren’t you my good little princess?”

“Yes… but I still can’t eat sweets, and if I can’t eat sweets, it’s because I haven’t been good.” Naomi lamented.

You give her a tight smile, kissing her one more time before taking out a small box from your obi and handing it to her; she recognized it all too well, enough to gasp and smile!

However, that excitement dies soon after when remembering her current circumstances.

“I know, I know.” You sigh, leaning your head over hers, hugging her softly. “I said you were grounded till the end of the week because we didn’t want you disobeying me or papa… but oh, I don’t like it when you’re sad!”

“…I didn’t mean to.” Naomi murmurs, your heart squeezes with adoration.

“I know, pumpkin.” You coo. “But we don’t like it when you copy bad habits from others; you’re a pretty, intelligent, lovely girl— you don’t need any of that!”

“… I’m sorry mama!” she sobs, pressing her face against your chest, you chuckle.

“Oh, I’m not scolding you, baby!” you say, gently patting her back. “In fact, I’m here because I wanted to tell you that you’re no longer grounded.”

“Re—really?!” she gasps, raising her teary-eyed face to see you. You nod.

“But only if you tell me you understood why you were grounded in the first place.”

“Yes! I understood! No more bad words!” Naomi fervently nods. “I promise!!”

“Then, let’s celebrate with your favorite!” you cheer, rubbing her tears away with your sleeve.

“Taro mochi!” she giggles, quick to open the box.

“Just don’t tell papa, ok? He doesn’t know I decided to do this on my own.”

Although you’re quite surprised he hadn’t done so himself, probably because he was away on a mission, he did tell you he didn’t enjoy seeing Naomi upset with him—how the two managed to ground her in the first place was quite the mystery itself, one that will probably never be answered.

“Promise!” Naomi nods and then, she begins to eat one of the mochi, with her chubby face beaming with delight at the return of her all-time favorite treat. Hopefully this won’t ruin her appetite too much… “Thank you, mama!”

“You’re welcome, Naomi. But don’t talk with your mouth full, baby.” You giggle, taking one for yourself. “And don’t chew too fast!”

Naomi tries her best to do what you ask, but her excitement for having her favorite sweets back overrules everything else; in that sense, she takes after you.

After she’s satisfied with the mochi, but still hungry for dinner, the two decide to make a quick stop by the bedroom to change clothes, before eventually going to the dining hall and wait for the food to be ready.

When walking towards the living quarters, Naomi would tightly hold onto your hand while telling you about her day, which often consisting of just playing with her toys under some imaginative plotline she made up for the occasion—this time: a secret spy that needed to infiltrate this heavily guarded mansion to give a fellow spy a special package.

While in true Naomi fashion, this still somehow went against what she usually conjured up, naturally prompting you to ask where’d she get such idea, perhaps from a movie?

But before she could give you an answer, Naomi suddenly stops, eyes intently focused on something at a distance, with such dedication you could only think she saw a ghost! Until a grin appears on her lips, using her free hand to eagerly wave at the person across the garden.

An innocent greeting at first, making you smile at the notion of how bubbly your daughter was.

Had she not screamed the words that made you choke, dumbfoundedly shooting up to see who it was, while wonder why she referred to him that way!

“Hello, Toji-sama!!” Naomi sang. “I’m not grounded anymore!!”

And Toji seems to have forgotten of this arrangement given the way he confusedly looked up towards the origin of that shrilly voice, not finding any correlation between the girl waving at him and himself even after seeing her… until suddenly, all comes back at him, making him chuckle and think “How could I forget?” before briefly greeting her back and moving on.

Their interactions ends swiftly soon after, and Naomi returns to her previous conversation with such comfort, it was almost as if it didn’t even happen.

But of course, this exchange, even while brief, undoubtedly created a lasting impression on you, starting an endless ocean of questions ranging from when did she meet him to why did she call him that honorific, of literally any other??

Well, if it was worth anything… this shouldn’t come to you as a surprise considering how highly Naoya thought of him; Naomi might’ve heard her father compliment him and somehow, compared him to a deity.

Still a bit… dramatic, but at the end of the day, her daughter was nothing but a child, bound to make silly innocent things like this.

So, you let this slide by chuckling and continuing listening to Naomi’s “highly secretive but very thrilling spy story” as she wanted you to “coolly describe.” before arriving at the dining hall and eating.

Believing that in the sense of seeking the remarkable, Naomi takes after her dad.

That's me trying to explain that Naomi's acceptance and eventual admiration of Toji comes from Naoya lmao. Inherited for sure :) when you tell Naoya about this he's like "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT BEFORE?!" You ask him to not encourage her lol.

[johnwickb1tsch]

Excessive Force : a Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE AMAAAZING @treedaddymcpuffpuff 😘😘😘) - Chapter FOURTEEN ---> (all chapters)

trigger warnings: mention of police shooting, child trafficking, past childhood trauma, abuse, etc. plz take care!

“Are you serious?!” You have to move the phone away from your ear to avoid a blown drum from Sheila’s screech. 

“Yup.”

“Okay, why don’t you sound as excited as me?” 

“I’m nervous. He’s really forward. And, I haven’t been on a date in forever.” That didn’t end horribly… You’ve decided not to count the fiasco with Julian. You’re in your room, fingering through the limited collection of nice clothes in your closet. You briefly debate wearing a turtleneck and thick linen pants just to piss him off. But, also, there’s that little sundress you bought at the mall that you’ve never gotten a chance to wear… The pretty, soft color would pair very nicely with your silky cream bra and panty set—that you also have never worn. You’re starting to re-think the whole not being a prude thing. 

Plus, it’s hot outside.

Sheila pulls you from your search. “Listen, if he tries anything, just kick him in the dick. Works every time.”

“He’s like eight feet tall. I don’t know if I can reach his dick… with my feet.” 

You both giggle. 

“That’s why they make step stools.” 

“Like, for that exact reason?” 

Sheila’s one of those people that has proven to be supportive. You met her on a bus tour your first week in LA and have been buddies ever since. It works perfectly since you both have hectic work schedules and don’t really expect anything from the other one. She calls you for drinks, you call her for lunch. Sympatico. 

“Obviously. So, he’s tall. Is he hot?” 

You tug your bottom lip between your teeth when you think back to his bare, bruised body on your exam table, those mile long, strong thighs that caged you in and felt more like they belonged to an Amazon Boa rather than a man. 

“Okay, that silence either means hell yes or hell no, so which is it?” You hear the grin in Sheila’s voice.

“First one.” 

You end up telling her about his persistent hospital visits, him pulling you over, maybe omitting some—okay, no, a lot of the details just so she doesn’t want to kill him just yet. You also haven’t told her about the Julian debacle–or that Tom basically rescued you. 

You also leave out that he just happens to be the new superhero on every news channel right now. You’re still processing that yourself, and it’s not boding well for you keeping your cool with this man. 

As it turned out, it was the news that informed you of Officer Tom Ludlow’s whereabouts those lonely night’s you’d missed him harassing you on that lonely stretch of highway. He wasn’t ignoring you. He was rescuing two teenage girls who had been kidnapped and trafficked by a gang. According to the report, Ludlow had entered the house after hearing a cry for help, alone, and gunned down every single one of the gangbangers before setting the girls free.  

Parts of this story should have alarmed you, but there had been a time in your past when you would have given anything for a person of authority to ride to your rescue, red tape be damned. How many times had the cops come to your house for a domestic disturbance between your parents, and left you in a bad situation because of some legal technicality or another? How had they seen you, scared and dirty, cowering in the doorway, and left you behind? The horrors you could have told them, if only they’d cared to ask without your parents there to overhear and threaten you, but every time until the last time, they’d just left you in the hellhole that had been your childhood home.   

How different your life—your sister’s lives—would have been if you had a Thomas Ludlow back then.

The twin girls’ MISSING posters and billboards were all over the city. Most anyone with the power to do something had given up on them as a lost cause, just another sad story, written them off as tragically probably dead in a gutter, but not Ludlow. Ludlow had risked his neck (and possibly his badge, because you’d heard of the old “I heard a cry for help” trick to gain entry, and it was almost always code for “I didn’t have a warrant, what are you going to do about it?”, to get them out, and goddammit if that didn’t just warm you to your toes and soften your heart.

Worse yet, you feel like the biggest asshole for calling him a fraud, to his face, the night after it all went down. He’d just taken it on the chin, and he still asked you out. 

Ok, he technically extorted you, but it just doesn’t feel as sinister now as it had last night. He’d been bold, and borderline needy for some human tenderness, and fuck if you didn’t understand all too well why now. 

Now, rather than having to keep yourself from tearing him a new one, you were afraid you were going to have to restrain yourself from crawling into his lap at the first opportunity, and fucking his brains out for being such a goddamed hero. 

“Oh, he’s a freak!” Despite saying this, she sounds like she’s twirling her hair and kicking her feet. 

You snort. “He’s got..uh…nice hands.” 

You decide on the sundress and the bra-panty set, but you don’t bother laying them out in preparation, because you’re still telling yourself that this isn’t that big of a deal and you’re not that invested and that if Tom Ludlow kisses you, you won’t burst into flames.

You want to take a bath, leave some scent of those seldom used lavender lemon oils lingering on your skin, but decide against it. 

No. Actually. You’re doing it. Taking a nice,  warm, spiced soak, rubbing lotion over every piece of you except the very sensitive bits, shimmying into the undergarments. The panties end up being cheekier than you like, but your butt looks cute, and the dress covers everything pretty good, anyway—well, everything that matters. 

After putting your hair up in a messy bun and throwing some mascara on, you’re ready for—actually, who the fuck are you kidding, you are the opposite of ready. Borderline panicking at the thought of this man coming to pick you up and taking you out and putting on his lewd charm and ruining this cute underwear. 

By the time he buzzes downstairs, it’s too late to decide on another pair of shoes. You have to live with sandals—with the fact that he might just look down and get a full, unfiltered view of your toes curling when he opens his pretty mouth. 

You’re totally fucked, here. 

You think it again when you open the door, finding his lean form all in black, leaning on the wall with his hands in his pockets and his full bottom lip between his teeth, like he’s already thinking about eating you up. You literally feel it as his eyes look you up and down, from your messy bun to your pink painted toes. It’s been two seconds, and already you are soaked between your thighs. 

Doomed. You are just fucking doomed, and a part of you is just ready to surrender, because it takes so much goddamn energy to fight your attraction to this man. You can feel it like live electricity crackling over your skin. 

Of course, there’s that other part of you that wants to run right back up those stairs and lock yourself away from this gorgeous devil.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Your mouth opens to reply, but your brain takes a few seconds to catch up, utterly short circuited by how ridiculously handsome he is in his black button down, his dark pants belted low on his hips, those big feet in black boots. It’s a little strange, seeing him without his badge or his gun on his hip–but you can work with this. 

“Hi,” you answer, scathingly clever as ever. 

“Ready to go?” 

You’d brought down your purse, to avoid inviting him into the private sanctuary that is your little shoebox of an apartment, but now you almost regret it. 

“Yeah. Where are we going?” You step out the door, but he doesn’t move back, relishing your close proximity with a smirk. But there is a new softness in his brown eyes as he looks down at you that makes you a little weak in your knees. He reaches up to touch your cheek, feather light, and it boggles your mind how this man can be such a beast, and yet so gentle when he wants to be. 

“You’ll see.” You narrow your eyes at him, but for once, it’s more playful than fueled by annoyance. “Relax,” he says, his shapely mouth dancing as he suppresses a smile. “You’re in good hands, honey.” 

You don’t even flinch, as he drives this final nail into your coffin, the wave of desire inspired by the thought of those oh-so-capable hands and what they just might do to you tonight buzzing down your spine. This is how you die–you are strangely, almost, ok with it. 

When he has you safely ensconced in the passenger seat of his sleek black Charger you look over at him, his long arm draped over the wheel as he navigates the hostile environment of LA traffic like a shark patrolling a reef. “So…I saw you on the news last night.”

He lifts one of those dark brows, though his expression remains otherwise unreadable. “Haven’t really looked at what they’re saying,” he admits, like he’s used to the media getting the details wrong towards their own ends. 

“They said that you saved two underaged girls that were being traffiked?”

His mouth turns down, and you wonder if you’ve killed the happy vibe of the evening so soon with your nosy questions. But then again–you need to know. It’s a gnawing curiosity in your gut not just for the events that transpired, but the man who orchestrated them. Who you are currently alone in a car with, so you reason you have a right to know.

“Yeah,” he simply answers, not keen to crow his own praises. 

“And you…killed all those guys?”

He gives a sigh that seems to come from the bottom of his soul. You sense a weariness in him that he’s never shown on the outside before. 

“Yeah.” A long silence draws out between you, before he adds, “They were very bad dudes, y/n. Please don’t be afraid of me.”

You can’t exactly say that you’re not–but ironically, the news of him shooting down those gangsters really has nothing to do with it.   

“I’m not. I mean–if they were abusing those girls, then they deserved it.”

He looks you over then, an appraising look as though you’ve given him some new information about your character. Maybe information you didn’t exactly mean to give away, but it’s out there now. He’s going think you’re a kindred spirit–or a blood thirsty gremlin. 

Either way, you don’t really want to discuss why you sympathize with those girls, and with him. 

“Are you okay?”

This question seems to take him aback, like he truly wasn’t expecting it. He’s surely used to being a pillar of stoic manhood, but you know this shit takes its toll. “Yeah. I’m fine, sweetheart. Thanks.”

You eye his hand resting on the center console, and a part of you very badly wants to reach out to him and take it. Almost as though he can sense it, or maybe because he wants it as badly as you do, he holds out his hand palm up in invitation. It’s possible you stare at that hand for a beat too long, his wide calloused palm and long blunt fingers. Long enough that he tries to play it off, starting to take it back, before you quickly lace your fingers with his. The way he smiles to himself sends warmth blooming all the way to your toes, and you’re glad he’s driving because they do, indeed, curl in your sandals. 

You give him a little squeeze, relishing the way your hand feels so tiny and protected in his own, and say, genuinely, “I’m sorry. For calling you a fake cop.” 

He clicks his tongue. “I’ve heard worse from people that aren’t half as pretty as you.” 

You want to fight with him on that—scoff, roll your eyes—but you just can’t, because as much as that small, whiny part of your brain tells you he’s lying, the bigger, rational part absolutely knows just by the sincerity in his tone that he thinks you really are a pretty, sublime creature. 

“But I still kinda think you’re a jerk,” you half tease. 

“Mmmm, what happened to that feisty little thing I know? She change into a cute sundress and suddenly become sweet?” 

You are loathe to admit the real reason for your change of heart. 

“You wish.” 

He chuckles. “Bet I can make you sweet.” 

You’re a total idiot for what comes out of your mouth, and your underwear is the one that will more than likely end up paying for this mindless insolence. “How?”

He brings your hand up to his mouth, lips brushing over the thin skin of your knuckles, sending a spear of desire through your arm and into the rest of your body. You make a tiny choked noise when his tongue peeks a taste of your skin, going unfocused and fuzzy, radio static and full throttle cavewoman. 

He kisses the center of your hand, then murmurs, “With sugar, silly girl.” 

It's not only the panties that pay a high price, but also your throbbing heart, pleasantly tense and hot and full of desire. 

He must find your slack jaw and blank stare immensely entertaining, because he’s laughing low and soft, rumbling in delight. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

“I’m fine.” There has never been a more heinous lie uttered in this entire state. 

You’re fairly new to LA, but you soon realize from your surroundings that he’s taking you to the Santa Monica Pier. 

You are thanking the universe and the gods when you arrive at your destination. Five more minutes—hell, seconds—trapped in that car with him and you would have climbed into his lap and started barking. 

When he swings into a parking space designated just for Law Enforcement you turn to him with a lifted brow, as though to say, Abuse your authority much? 

But you already know the answer to that. This date is a product of it. And so far…it’s not so bad. 

“Do you like fish tacos?” He asks, keeping your hand and massaging that bulky thumb over your wrist.

“Shouldn’t you have asked that before you made a reservation?” you taunt him. 

“No reservation,” he informs you with a quirk of his mouth. “But the manager owes me a favor.” 

He waves around the busy avenue and beach walk bustling with people, peppered with colorful shops and restaurants of every kind. “Pretty sure we can find you something you like, if Mexican food with an ocean view isn’t your thing…” He says it with a smirk, and you’re seriously not sure if you want to kiss this man or smack him. Maybe both, but save it for later, sings out the little devil on your shoulder before you can tell it to shut the fuck up. 

Good lord. 

You’ve heard of the restaurant–and that it’s famously hard to get into. You wonder if his connection is a product of a favor for a good deed, or a bit of blackmail. Maybe a little bit of both. You’re finding more and more that it’s hard to put this man in a single box. 

“Honestly…?” You make him wait for it, and you can tell your effort to put this confident man on the spot only half succeeds, his dark eyes sparkling with mirth. “That sounds pretty amazing.”

This evil, evil gentleman. He opens your door for you, helps you out of the car, stands patiently while you fix your dress, only half looks at your exposed thighs before you pull the hem down and cover them up again. 

Then, he threads his arm with yours and leads you onto the pier. You can’t believe you’ve never taken the initiative to come here before. It’s beautiful, lit up like a modern carnival of neon lights. 

“Oh, can we go on the Ferris wheel?” You ask, looking up at him. 

“Let’s get some food in you, and then we can do whatever you want.” He really needs to stop being so…caring. It’s seriously starting to mess up your insides. 

You turn into a fascinated kid as you walk down the salt coated slice of wood built out over the ocean, looking this and that way, pointing things out, mentioning possible after-dinner activities. You feel like you’re getting annoying, but Tom just seems amused by your sunburned tourist behavior. 

You pass by a little shooting booth with huge stuffed bunnies hanging from the rack, and he must see the way you’re ogling them, so he leans down close to your ear. “I could win you one of those?”

You grin back up at him. “I can win you one.” 

“Oh? Little sharpshooter?” 

It sounds like he doesn’t believe you, so you stick your tongue out at him between smiling lips. 

He pokes your forehead in retaliation. “Anybody ever tell you how fucking cute you are?” 

The restaurant lives up to its popularity and then some. It takes a while to get here, but you just know it’s worth every foot blister when they sit you down and immediately serve a popped bottle of iced sparkling water and delicious, warm salsa and chips. 

You made it just in time to catch the purple orange sun sinking below ocean level, and the front row seats really just make the view that much more spectacular. At this point, you wouldn’t be surprised if a dolphin jumped from the water, illuminated by the dying sun, just like in the movies.  

“This is… amazing.” You grab some tortilla chips to munch on while he pours you both glasses of the fancy water. “Have you ever been here before?” 

“Once.” He doesn’t elaborate, so you don’t want to push the issue, but you can tell there’s some kind of ache behind that simple word. 

“Okay, so you’re obviously not from LA—where are you from?” He leans over the table a bit, curious. 

“Kansas.” 

He opens his mouth, but you stop him because you already know what he’s going to say. 

“Don’t do it.” You point a warning finger at him, giggling like an idiot. 

“God, but I really want to,” he groans. 

“So,” you say, taking another bite of chip. “Why did you become a cop?”

“You start with the heavy questions, huh?” he teases you. “Thought I was the one who was trained in interrogation?”

You suppose he’s right, considering your earlier line of inquiry in the car. But you shrug in response. Considering how you ended up here, you see no reason to tiptoe around things. “Just curious.”

He offers up an easy smile, letting you know you didn’t offend him. “Well, I actually always wanted to be a dentist.”

You snort with disbelief, trying to imagine this man’s bedside manner. But then, dentists do get to cause people a lot of pain… “Ok. Maybe that tracks.”

“I’m fucking with you,” he informs you with a smirk. 

You do your best to appear annoyed, and fear you fail at it badly. “Guess it’s not hard to imagine you pulling teeth, is all.”

He huffs at that. “I always wanted to be a cop, since I was a kid. My old man was a detective. Killed in the line of duty. I guess I felt like I needed to pick up his unfinished business.”

You blink at that. You and your big fucking mouth. “I’m sorry,” you say, reaching for his hand across the table. He curls his fingers with yours, playing with your aqua painted fingernails with his thumb.

“It’s alright. Happened a long time ago.”

“How old were you?”

“Eleven.”

You squeeze his hand in yours, saying nothing. 

“What about you? What made you want to be a nurse?” 

You don’t really feel comfortable enough to tell him your whole coming-of-nurse story, so you give him the cut version: “when I was young and felt like I had no one, a nurse comforted me.”

“How young?”

“Ten.”

He winces. “Maybe I’ll get the full version of that story one day?”

There’s an epiphany, here, in this little restaurant with the comfy blue chairs, and it’s that Tom Ludlow scares you because he makes you feel something deep, deep inside your chest that you can’t even remember being there before he came along. Julian was easy, child’s play; although it stings, you’re writing him down as just another failed fling. You know if Ludlow gets his hands on your little sensitive heart, it will be a very different story. 

You take a big drink of water to wash down the salty crunch. “Sorry.”

“For?”

“Being so…cold.”

He chuckles. “Oh, you are so cold. Gonna have to make it up to me.”

Warmth floods the top layers of your skin. “I already said I’d win you the bunny.”

You’re amazed at how easily he can transition back into a smooth, carnal beast. “I don’t know if that’s enough for me to forgive you.” The fake hurt in his tone should not make you squirm in your seat. 

You bite like a dumb, good little fish should: “okay, then, how do I make it up to you, Officer Ludlow?” 

You’re hoping to faze him with the sultry innocence of your tone, but it just fuels his devilish aura instead. “We can start with me turning you over my knee.”

You don’t have a retort, but your vagina absolutely does, and she gets you squirming in your seat. 

He leans forward, knowing smile sure to be your undoing one way or another. “Would you like that?” 

“Thought you didn’t want to hurt me?” You challenge, trying to keep cool despite the blazing Ludlow heat. 

“Who says spanking has to hurt? Dr. Bitch?”

You can’t help the giggle that rolls out of you, and he seems to find it entertaining that you have to cover your mouth to hide it. “No, Tom, believe it or not, I am a grown woman who has lived an experienced life.” 

“And how was it?”

You tilt your head. “What?”

“You know, when you asked one of your vanilla boyfriends to swat that gorgeous, plump ass a little bit? Just to see how it would feel.” He leans his chin on his palm, listening intently for your answer, and you think you might be on your way to spontaneous combustion. 

How in the fuck can he just hit the nail right on the head like that? Know about parts of your life that you haven’t shared with anyone—not that there were many to share with. Are you really this readable? 

Once again, he has your sharp tongue dulled with arousal and embarrassment, and you shift in the chair. “He did it, like, once and then stopped.” 

“And did you like it?” He presses. 

“Yes.” 

He takes a little sip of his water, raising both dark brows over the glass at you. “Good to know.” 

Tom recommends the margaritas and fish tacos, so you let him order for the both of you while admiring the view. You can’t decide which one you like better, his handsome face or the ocean scape.

As you are finishing your delicious dinner the last rays of the sunset are putting on a five star show for you, the sky painted that impossible deep blue and purple, the water shimmering like color-changing opals.

“It’s so beautiful here,” you sigh, and you catch him looking at you out of the corner of your eye with a softness you haven’t seen from him before. You get up the courage to meet his eyes, and he smiles at you, but for once not like he intends to eat you.

“You’re not in Kansas anymore, sweetheart.”

“Goddammit.”

He laughs at that, a real belly laugh that makes you warm all over even without the aid of your two nursed margaritas. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah. I’ve got to out shoot you for that little bunny now.” 

This wins you more genuine laughter. “Alright, Annie Oakley. Lead the way.” 

[doorp]

as much as we joke abt Annabel shitting herself during a possible divorce arc we have to remember that lenore would be hurting just as bad. lenore is just as obsessed with Annabel, just as down bad, it’s just lenore wants to let herself be happy and Annabel is a big idiot who’s sticking to what she knows- and what she knows is don’t trust anyone emotion is weakness weakness can be exploited. she thinks everyone is out to get her, she’s paranoid and clinging desperately to the only person who can actually make her feel things. But back to the point, we’ve talked abt how Annabel would feel during this but not how lenore might. This was lenore when she didn’t even remember Annabel yet-

She knows literally nothing abt this person except that she has some weird draw to her and she’s smacking orbs out of the air and running around the academy with scissors looking for her. She can’t stand being apart from her just as much as Annabel- the first time they met lenore literally grabbed her skirt under the table when Annabel giggled at her

Annabel Lee “would you do something for me?” Whitlock and Lenore “anything” vandernacht

She said I will not only write you a song I will fake my death and commit fraud and we will get married - after knowing this woman for 6 months.

Miss “the world is a cruel and terrible place- omg Annabel!! I can’t be late for my midnight rendezvous with my wife!!”

She wants to be w her all the damn time

“I’ll miss u 🥺” “even today i wish you would’ve been by my side instead.” “I wish you were here with us instead. that’s the only way this afternoon could’ve been perfect. ” “what will I do without you return to the attic?” “Im not leaving her side!”

“How the devil haven’t we seen anyone else yet?”

“Why, you looking for somebody? 🤨”

Divorce arc lenore will be lennabel having gayass and tension filled arguments and lenore going to sleep at night having gayass dreams of memories abt Annabel and waking up and crying angry tears and throwing pillows at the wall as she goes off the walls bonkers. Both of them are going to get so much worse and I love that the plot needs to keep them separated bc otherwise they would fuck absolutely everyone’s shit up.

Lenore and Annabel quite literally make each other insane. If the deans want drama separating them at the beginning was possibly the best way to achieve that.

Lenores gonna be angry heartbroken I hate that I need you sad and annabel is going to be my wife hates me I hope I die and im going to make it everyones problem sad

Do not separate white raven or they will both go off the rails and do insane things bc they are stupid crazy uhaul lesbians

sorry if I said the same things a bunch of different ways but the point still stands !! a divorce arc might be sick!

[askinkiskarma]

The Archer | Chapter VI: The Great War

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Summary: Your secret meeting with your dad brings out the worst in you and your mate. The RDA go after one more tulkun in the beginning of the biggest fight of your lives - for your lives.

Pairings: Neteyam x Avatar!Reader

Word Count: 9.7k words

Warnings/notes: lots of angst, mentions of death, blood, violence, cursing, SPOILERS for ATWOW

A/N: I apologise in advance for the next few chapters, but I am feeling feelings and you have to feel them with me!! This chapter took a little longer than expected, but I am trying to not kill myself juggling everything I currently have going on. As always, thank you so so much for engaging with the story, and replying, liking, reblogging, following etc etc. (all the good things). Ily all and can't wait to share the rest w you soon xoxoxo

You drew up some good faith treaties, I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone

You said I have to trust more freely, but diesel is desire, you were playin' with fire

And maybe it's the past that's talkin’, screamin' from the crypt

Telling me to punish you for things you never did, so I justified it

You were hyperventilating a little, entering the tent that you now called home and revelling in the silence, which you needed desperately to make sense of what just happened. They did it, they killed a tulkun. You’ve heard from the Metkayina that they were doing that, far away from the village, but now they did it here. You knew instantly it was a ploy to drive Jake out, drive you all out, and you wondered meekly if Jake would answer. Even if he didn’t, you didn’t think the Metkayina would just let this slide. Your dad, your dad left you a message. And you lied about it. Why would you do that? What in tarnation possessed you to do something so stupid? You lied to Jake, to Neytiri… to Neteyam. 

You were mad, mad at Jake that it had to come to this point. You told him, you fucking told him months ago. You should have never run, ever. You told him they would find you eventually, you told him innocent beings would get hurt as a result of hiding. Death would follow you wherever you went because the RDA wouldn’t just give up, and they had very little to lose. People were disposable to them. You, on the other hand, all had everything to lose. 

You were mad at your father, for yet another atrocious act. You were mad that he desecrated any good association you had with his memory once again and made you hate him, hate yourself for having any connection to this cruel, sick, twisted individual. You were mad at your mother, who chose him, who allowed him to be your father, who protected and defended his honour and memory your entire life and in death, and you wondered what spell he put on her that she was so so blind about this man. 

You should just tell them. Tell your family and take them with you and just kill him. Your heart sank as you considered that he might kill them on the spot if he notices anyone else with you. Maybe they could take the ilu? Maybe you and Jake would be enough to take him down. You didn’t like how much your brain was screaming in pain at the thought, at watching your father, that you’ve never even met before, lying dead on the ground, bleeding out in front of you. Why should you care? Why do you care? Why did you lie? It was painful, near damn unbearable having to admit to yourself that you wanted to see him, you wondered what he had to say for himself, this man that has been an almost mythical thing in your life, that gave you self-loathing issues you can’t outrun and haven’t outgrown, this man, this man, this man. 

Maybe it was a trap. Maybe he wanted to draw you out to kidnap you, to use you as leverage to draw Jake out. Maybe he knew from Spider how close you were to the Sullys, knew you were bound to the hip with Lo’ak, knew you were mated with Neteyam, and that you would perhaps bring them along and he can get a Sully kid to threaten and manipulate the former Olo’eyktan. It was a good plan, you thought, except you would go alone, and you were more than capable of killing anyone who tried to get in your way. Your dad would learn that soon enough, as you were determined to finish this, once and for all, and free yourself of this burden and this nightmare that has plagued you far longer than anything else has.

Neteyam came into the tent before anyone else did, looking at you curiously. 

“Are you alright? You seemed quite shaken after seeing the tulkun.”

Calm yourself. You couldn’t lie to Neteyam. It was one thing having kept that you were sick, it was one thing to lie by omission. You couldn’t lie to your mate, but you had to try. 

“Can you blame me?”

He sighed, then approached you, pulling your body into a warm hug. His hand went to the back of your head, softly stroking your hair with the pad of his thumb in a calming motion. The guilt was eating at you, deep and unpleasant at his trusting, loving nature. You sniffled into his chest, soft tears escaping you and landing on him. You were crying because you were scared, because you felt like you were betraying your family, the only family you’ve ever known for a man who could be killing you tomorrow, or using you to kill them. You didn’t know what was wrong with you.

“It’s alright, Atan. We will be alright. Dad will come up with a plan.”

You didn’t say anything, afraid that any words out of your mouth will be a dead giveaway and Neteyam will be able to see right through you, as he usually could. 

The evening was quiet and tense, as your family returned to the tent after helping Ronal and Tonowari. There will be a funeral for Ro’a, and traditional rituals will take most of the morning tomorrow as a final farewell to the tulkun and her calf. Luckily, Tuk slept in between Neyriti and Jake tonight, and with a big lump in your throat and a thumping heart, you went to sleep nestled in Neteyam’s embrace. 

You waited patiently for everyone to be fast asleep around you, room filled with deep, regular breaths. You knew as soon as Neteyam fell asleep, as he twitched when he did, then started snoring softly in your ear. They were all light sleepers, except for Tuk and Lo’ak, trained soldiers, ready at a moment’s notice for trouble, ready for battle. You had to be careful, you had to put all that Na’vi stealth training to good use. 

It took a while, but eventually you made it out, carrying a handgun that you managed to remove silently from the tent, without having alerted anyone, and pushed passed the village into the mangrove forest where Neyn was. When you were sure you were past the point anyone could have heard you, you let out your calling cry, and you watched as your beautiful banshee made her way to you, cooing gently at your sight.

“Did I wake you, sweet girl? I’m sorry, but I have to do this.”

You got on her, making Tsaheylu, and felt concern in her as she took you away in the dead of night, and without your mate to accompany you. She was a little scared, as she was very rarely on her own, Seze always keeping her company on such late nocturnal rides. 

You rode for a while, loving the feeling of the warm air on your face, loving being back on your ikran, that you used to fly with every day in your old life and you sighed soundlessly, knowing an ilu will never compare to this feeling right here, to this beautiful creature you knew was your spirit sister. You thought about Neyn, and how you would feel if you lost her, if she was killed, and you felt her wobble a little mid air as the intense emotions on your mind engulfed you both. You tried to calm yourself for her, so she could keep a steady pace and a straight path. She was here, she was okay, there was nothing to worry about. 

As was made clear in the crude note, about 10 kilometres east of the village was a small island with nothing on it that you could reasonably see except a deserted beach and a couple mangroves. It was small enough to know it was empty and safe, big enough to shield you both from any suspecting eyes. 

A man was waiting for you. An Avatar, he was tall and muscular, dressed in the same camo outfit as that night months ago, the night you almost died at Alien hands, just like so many Na’vi did before you. He was beautiful, you thought. Even in this form, you could recognise the traits you got from him, and you knew then anyone would be able to tell you were related, no matter which body you inhabited. 

“So it’s true.” You heard yourself saying, trying to reconcile the thought that this man was indeed your father, brought back from the dead. 

“What exactly are you? Are you an Avatar? You’re not controlling a body with your mind through a neurolink, so I guess Avatar is a bad name for it. Abomination would be my preferred trademark name, if you’re taking suggestions for T-shirts or action figures.” 

He wasn’t speaking, just looking at you intently, and you swore you saw the glimmer of tears in his eyes. He came closer to you. Your hand picked up the gun you had tucked in your loincloth and pointed it straight at his face. 

Your thumb went to the hammer, that you pulled down. With the gun loaded and your index finger on the trigger, you saw the man flinch briefly, but he recovered immediately and continued to stare at you, at your face and features. 

“You have your mother’s eyes.” 

Your hand slightly trembled on the gun. 

“Stop. Whatever father daughter reunion you had in mind, you’re gonna be disappointed. I’m here to make you answer for your crimes.” 

He raised an eyebrow at you. Fuck, that’s where you got that from. 

“If you were here to make me answer for anything, you would’ve brought Jake Sully with you, or any of the kids you were with that night.” 

“You mean the night you almost killed me?” 

“Also you had no way of knowing this wasn’t a trap, but you came alone anyway. You put yourself in harm’s way to meet me here in secret. Just like I did.”

You don’t really have a comeback for that. So maybe he wasn’t some jarhead dropout after all. Didn’t matter. He’d be dead in a few minutes anyway. 

“I know you must have a million questions, just like I do. Can you please lower the gun so we can talk?” 

“I only have one question for you. How do you sleep at night?” Your eyes welled up, angry tears like needles, prodding, begging to be released. “You killed a Tulkun. Just like you killed so many Na’vi. How do you live with yourself?”

“I didn’t kill the Tulkun -“

“Do you think you’re gonna get away with this on a fucking technicality? Do you think that telling me it was all Quaritch is going to make this fucking better somehow?” 

He looked pained for a moment, gaze shifting from your face to the ground. He looked embarrassed. 

“You’re right, it doesn’t.” 

A silent sob escaped your lips. “Why? That was someone’s spirit sister. She was a beautiful creature, she didn’t deserve to die.” 

“Quaritch wants to bait you out in the open. He hoped that if he did that, you would attack.” 

You hissed loudly. “And what did you do? Watch?”

He recoiled a little at your words, embarrassment still ever present on his face. 

“Pretty much.” 

“That’s just as bad. Inaction is just as bad.”

“Inaction is necessary when you’re using them to find a daughter you have never met. I had to take that risk, I had to say nothing, and I don’t fucking regret it. You’re here, aren’t you?”

“Not for long. I have nothing to say to you.”

“You do. I know you do, because you’re here. Please, just give me a chance. I need a chance.”

He sounded desperate and your welled-up eyes stung now, trying so hard to keep the tears in, trying to be strong, trying to not humour him, to not show him that this was tearing you apart, tearing apart all of the stitches of your patched up pretty new blue heart.

“Please, put the gun down.” Your lips trembled and fingers twitched on the trigger, and with a loud curse, you lowered your arm. 

“You know, I could have killed you that night. I killed two of your little friends, had you in my shot. It would have been an easy kill.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

Your eyes moved from him to somewhere behind him, thinking hard, trying to justify it to yourself as much as him. It took a few minutes of introspection to figure out you had nothing.

“I don’t know.”

He moved from where he was and sat down by the beach, in a tiny enclosure that was shielded from areal view by the trees, but still overlooked the beautiful sea, flowing back and forth with soothing waves. He looked up at you expectantly, and you moved to a rock a little further away from him, facing his body, prepared for any possibility. He sighed.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” 

“So, how did this...” You pointed with your gun, that you unloaded for the moment, all over his blue body. “...come to be?”

“When I first came to Pandora, part of the contract stated that if I die, I give permission for them to put my consciousness in an Avatar body so they can revive me in case they need me again. They did the tests and took the chip that contains…well, me… right before the last battle.”

“Why would you agree to that?”

“I didn’t really have a choice. I needed the job, I would have signed anything, done anything they asked.”

“Why?”

He didn’t look at you as he spoke, but to the distant sea, fiddling with his fingers. 

“I had a daughter. Back on Earth. Her name was Sarah. She was everything to me, and she got sick. I worked for the Air Force at the time, but they let me go after I sustained an injury in the war they said deemed me unfit for service. The money I was getting on vet benefits was not enough, not enough to save her,  not enough to matter. Then I found a job offer for the RDA, a mission to a beautiful far away planet. The pay was phenomenal, and I knew I was good enough to be accepted. I had accolades up the wazoo, and was desperate - exactly what they needed. They gave me the first pay check before we took off, and I had to have faith that the money was going to be enough to save my baby girl. When I came out of cryo, six years later, I found out she had died.”

You saw light reflecting a tear dropping on his face, and your heart hurt painfully in your chest. You have wondered for years, your whole life, what could have possibly gotten this man to give up a life on Earth for such a despicable cause, and now that you knew, you didn’t know if it was relieving you of your guilt or not. On one hand it did, because it was as good of an excuse as it got, but on the other hand, it amplified it at the horrid ways you have thought about your dad all these years. You thought him a cold-hearted killer, a monster. Turns out, just like Jake, just like Neteyam, just like you, he was just willing to give up his own life, his peace of mind, for someone he loved. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He smiled a sorrowful smile at you. “It was a long time ago. But anyway, when I found out, I was in pieces. Whatever heart I had left, my little baby took with her. I was jaded and broken, and wanted nothing to do with this world. But these men and women, the soldiers I met, they became my family in time. They pulled me out of a very dark place, and in turn I gave them my undying loyalty and whatever little was left of my soul. I knew then I would protect them with my life, and with the life of the Na’vi, if needs be. It wasn’t right, but it is who I am. Who I’ve been since as long as I remember. A soldier, an army man. I fight for my country, I fight for the job and for the squad, and I don’t complain, and I don’t question it. It was a good way of living, easy to digest, it helped me sleep at night.”

“And then I met your mother.” His smile changed from one filled with sadness and pain to a happy one, a melancholic one, filled with love and wonder. “She was a shock to the system, to every system. She was kind, and loving, smart and curious, soft and patient, but also the most badass, brave, strong person I knew. It was such a complex mixture, I didn’t think anyone like that could exist. But she did. And, somehow, she saw me. She saw more in me than what I thought I was, she saw who I could be, who I think I wanted to be all my life without ever realising. I fell so deeply in love with her, I could feel my heart beating again. She was everything to me.”

The tears were falling freely down your face now, and you didn’t have it in you to stop it, didn’t have any power over your own mind, who had trouble understanding what it was going through, all the information it had to come to terms with in such a short span of time. 

“Spider said she died.” His voice broke as he said that, and you tried to compose yourself from becoming a sobbing mess.

“Yeah… she did. When I was ten. Cancer.” 

“Ovarian?”

Your eyes snapped to him, not being able to stop the shock on your face. 

“Her sister and grandmother died of ovarian cancer, too.”

You didn’t know that. She has never told you that. 

“Are you an Avatar? I didn’t think it was possible for them to make Avatars on Pandora.” 

“I’m not an Avatar, technically. I used to be, but I did the consciousness transfer, just like Jake did almost 20 years ago.”

“Why?”

You sighed loudly. You didn’t know whether you could trust him, whether he would use the information you gave him to betray and hurt you. But at the same time, you have waited for this chance your whole life. You have wanted to speak to the man in front of you, wanted to bond with your dad that you never even met, and so you had to try. 

“Multiple reasons. From an objective point of view, my human body wasn’t made to survive this world. I was stuck in a lab for 18 years, or stuck to an oxygen mask. It wasn’t ideal. From a subjective point of view, I fell in love. With this planet, with the Na’vi… with a boy. My mother and the scientists made me this Avatar so I can live my life the way it was meant to be lived: giving myself fully to it. So when I felt ready, I committed by becoming one of the people for life.”

“There has to be more to that story. I know we don’t have a lot of time, but please, just tell me everything you can.”

So you did. You spared little detail about your mostly miserable existence, hoping that it would make him feel like shit that he didn’t try harder to be part of your mother’s life, that he didn’t forsake his kinship bond with the murderous soldiers and ally himself with the Na’vi when he had the choice, perhaps ensuring his survival, and the presence of another parent in your life.

“Jake found me in the woods, and brought me to Norm and Max, but then my heart stopped for 30 minutes. In those 30 minutes, I saw her. I saw mum, and she told me the truth. That the cancer wasn’t what really killed her. What killed her was your death, that she was never able to get over. She was so depressed, so lost, she chose to die than become one of the people. I realised then I did the exact same thing throughout my whole life, and that I wanted more time, to heal, to love, to live. So Eywa gave me a second chance at life. And I took it. I cured the virus, I became Na’vi, and now I am here. That’s pretty much it.”

Gideon’s head was spinning with the influx of information that was being thrown at him. It was so hard, hearing everything, hearing everything he’s missed. It was hard to deal with knowing this girl sitting in front of him, beautiful and blue, a strong Na’vi warrior, was his, and that whoever she was, he had no part in it. His heart constricted hearing how much pain you have had to endure, how hard your life has been, and know he was directly responsible for at least some of it. His mind echoed with your words about his Jo, about how she died, about whyshe died. The hatred he felt for himself, for his actions and inactions quickly reached an all-time-high, and he almost prayed you’d change your mind and point that gun at him again and finish the job.He couldn’t speak, so he just stared into the abyss, hoping that words, any words would come to him, knowing they won’t, knowing no words would be enough, no words would ever erase or change the damage he had done, the anguish you’ve had to endure.

“This... Neteyam. Is he a good kid?” 

He saw you smile softly, almost bashful at the mention of this boy who was in a lot of your stories, who seemed to shine a light on your otherwise dark life.

“He’s the best. We’ve been through… a lot. And it’s not always been easy, in fact, for like a year and a half he was a lot of the reasons I hated this life, I wanted it to end. But whatever’s ever happened between us, our differences, our fights, it’s never been out of lack of love. On the contrary. I think both of us love each other a little too much for either of our sakes.” 

“Does he treat you well? Do they all… the Sullys, the village, do they treat you well?” 

You smiled again, at him this time, and Gideon swore his whole body stopped - your smile, your eyes, the glimmer in it… Jo. His Jo was still here. His Jo lived so well within you, every ounce of you a walking reminder of the woman he loved more than life itself. Soft, and brave, and strong, and smart and curious… like Jo. 

“They treat me well. They always have. I was the one who pushed them away for years, but their love and desire for me to be in their lives never wavered, and I could not be more grateful. They gave me a family, and a place of belonging. They gave me a squad, and I would do anything for them.” Your expression shifted suddenly, to a hard one, one directed at him. “Anything.” 

“Why are you here? Are you here to sell me out? Are there people spying on us, tracing back where I came from so they can find Jake? Are you here to kidnap me? You either set me up, or you took a big risk leaving that message for me, hoping no one would see it, hoping no one could read it. Which one is it?”

He hated how the first thing you thought of and associated him with is vile and cruel, and underhanded, but he couldn’t blame you. He didn’t have the best track record, otherwise he wouldn’t be standing here right now.

“If I wanted you kidnapped, or found, you would have been kidnapped, or found. Do you think I don’t know you and the Sullys are in Awa’atlu?”

You mouth fell agape, eyes wide and ears pushed back at the new piece of information. He saw your tail stop moving, a sign of alertness and fear, and watched as you cocked the gun and pointed it at his face again.

“Who else knows about this? When did you find out?” 

“No one else knows.”

“Then how would you know? How did you figure it out?” 

“I still have a few aces up my sleeve, kid. Your finger’s not on the trigger, so I don’t think you’re planning on shooting me yet. Can you please lower the gun?” 

“What exactly prompted this little change of heart, if this is even what this is?” 

Gideon pulled out the rock that he found in his makeshift grave and watched as your expression deepened from surprise and fear to shock, amazement. 

“This did. I found a little spot in the forest, where it turns out I died. I found the recording, I saw Weinfleet, that son of a bitch, kill me. Although I guess that’s fair considering I did the same to him. I found my body, that you buried. And this rock.”

Gideon looked at you, at this girl who was undoubtedly his, undoubtedly Jo’s, with awe displayed all across his features. He couldn’t believe you came from him. He wishes he could have seen you as a little girl, as a human, he is so sad he didn’t get to see you take your first steps, or say your first word, or shoot your first gun. He wishes more than anything he could have taught you. He loves you, he realises. He loves you, despite so little time, because you’re his, you’re Jo’s, the best of both of them.

The man saw you thinking intently, tugging at the inside of your lip so hard he was scared it was going to bleed. He didn’t know what to expect from you. It was easy enough to read you as your face mirrored your feelings as if he had a direct link to your thoughts through it, but somehow you were still an enigma to him. He’s never seen Sarah grow up, he’s never had to be a dad to a young woman, a fierce warrior, a scientist who thinks about everything, calculates three moves ahead. He wondered sadly if there is anything left for him to teach you - you seemed as self-sufficient as they come, and a twinge of jealousy for the Toruk Makto blossomed in him, for getting to raise you, for getting to see you grow up, for helping make you who you were right now.

“So what now? I mean it’s a long shot, but maybe I can convince Jake to let you come to Awa’atlu, we can go and ask the Olo’eyktan, we can say you had nothing to do with it, it will be hard, but maybe if I -“ 

“I’m not coming with.”

“What?” There was no more confusion or focus on your face, just anger, pure unadulterated rage. 

“I have to see this through. I have a better chance of protecting you if-“

“Oh, fucking stop. You’re really going to play the martyr act til the end, aren’t you?”

“I can protect you from them, I can find out wh-“

“YOU CAN'T FUCKING PROTECT ME. I DON’T NEED YOUR PROTECTION, I DON’T WANT YOUR PROTECTION.” 

“I need you to prove to me you’re better than I think you are. I need you to show me, that despite all the fucking horrendous things you have done, my mother wasn’t a fool to trust you. To love you.” 

“Don’t talk about your mother like that, girl.” Gideon was panting now, angry with you, with how quickly you were dismissing a perfectly rational plan for your emotions, for the desire to not part with a grudge you’ve held on to for 19 years. He understood it, but there was a line, and Jo was that line for him, always. 

“You go back, everything you have said to me, everything is moot. Because you have a chance to be better, to do better, you have a chance to fight on the right side once in your life, and you’re not going to take it?” 

“I’m not going to repeat myself. I have a better chance of protecting you, protecting the people you love… your family, from there. I can figure out what their plan is and I can warn you.” He pulled out a radio and receiver from one of his pockets. “Take it. It’s set on a different frequency than what they use, or you and the Sullys use. It can be for us. Wear it, I will contact you if anything happens, and you will know and you will be safe.”

You hissed loudly at your dad, tears pricking painfully at your eyes. 

“Are you really going to pass on an opportunity to protect your family, your mate, because of your ego? I know you want everything done your way and you think you are always right, and you know what? You probably are. But this is more important than this. Just take this.” He took your hand in his and opened your palm and placed the radio and receiver in it. He closed your fingers in a fist, and let you go. “I will be in your ear, I will be there to tell you if anything’s wrong. I will do my best to fight this fight the way I think is best, the way my gut is telling me to. And when this is over, I will come. And by then, I hope I will have proven myself at least enough to be worthy of a second chance. I want to get to know you. I want you to know me. And when this is over, maybe you’ll want to. But for now, I have to go. And so do you.” He looked up and you saw that eclipse will be over any minute. Shit. Time got away from you. Neteyam would have woken up by now. Fuck.

You saw him turn around and call for his ikran. You were shocked he had passed the Iknimaya, and you made a mental note to ask him about it when you saw him next. Just for research purposes, you weren’t curious for any other reason. His ikran was beautiful, dark blue with hints of gold and pink all over, almost like the opposite of yours, the yin to your yang. You called Neyn and she came quickly, batting her wings at you playfully. She made a new friend, it seems. You sighed as you got on her and made the bond. 

“Is Spider alright?” 

“He’s fine, he’s integrated at well as could be expected. I think him and Quaritch are bonding.” You didn’t like the sounds of that, but you said no more on the subject. You were late enough as it is.

“Prove me wrong. Please.” 

“I will, kid.” 

You both took off at the same time, in the opposite directions, and you turned around and watched him with tears swiftly running down your cheeks, blown away by the warm air hitting you in the face. Dad… 

As you made your way back, your mind was running a thousand miles a minute with so many thoughts that were fighting for dominance. The top contender was concern and mind-paralysing fear at the thought of seeing Neteyam and knowing he will know, know you were gone, know you couldn’t lie, you couldn’t even try because he would know that too, and the fight that would ensue as a result. When did things get so complicated? 

You were relieved to not see any lapis blue Na’vi anywhere in sight when you dismounted your ikran, and you quickly started making your way to the village when a voice, the voice, stopped you in your tracks, like shackles to your feet. 

“You know, when we saw that sign on the tulkun yesterday, I felt your heartbeat in your wrist increase to three times its normal speed. I could feel your panted breaths in the back of my neck. I knew something was wrong. You may be able to lie to my dad, to anyone else, but you can’t lie to me, Atan.” 

Your breathing was laboured and shallow, and you felt scared to turn around, to face him. He came so close to you, his breath was making the hairs on your back stand up like needles, hurting you from the forcefulness of his presence, from the anger that was so palpable it was pulsating all around you. 

“What did you do?” 

“Neteyam…” you turned around, and you regretted looking at him. Because this wasn’t your mate, not anymore. This was the perfect soldier, the Olo’eyktan in the making, the Na’vi warrior, and he was looking at you like you were a stranger to him, like you were the enemy.

“What did you do. I need to hear you say it.” His voice was calm, too calm and it reminded you of the knife he always kept on his waist, sharp and deadly.

“Neteyam…” 

“How long has this been going on?” 

“How long has what been going for?” 

“This, you mingling with the fucking enemy, you lying to my family, to your family.” 

Your eyes widened in disbelief, as you took in the accusations your mate was carelessly throwing at you, like pebbles on the surface of the sea. 

“I know you are upset, and I am sorry I lied, but please don’t jump to conclusions.” 

“The message on the tulkun was from my dad. It was the first time I have made contact with him. I haven’t been mingling with any enemies. I just wanted to see what he wanted. I have a gun, I was prepared to kill him.”

“Your dad is a fucking murderer, he could have killed you, he could have kidnapped you. It could be a trap. We could be fucking swarmed by the RDA in the next 20 minutes and it would all be your fault.”

You couldn’t believe him, you couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. Neteyam was many things, but he wasn’t cruel and he definitely wasn’t so quick to blame, to draw unwarranted conclusions. You have known he has been acting a little strange for a while, and you knew there were things eating at him that he is yet to share, but you hated how instead of communicating them, he was lashing out like a wounded animal. You felt anger bubbling in your stomach and you tried really hard to keep it at bay, knowing that both of you attacking each other will not be productive whatsoever. 

 “Neteyam, stop. You’re being unfair. I know you are mad at me, and I know you have been upset about things you have refused to talk to me about for a while, but I will not stand and watch you attack me.” 

“You are right, it was risky, and I am sorry. But I’m not fucking stupid. I was careful, I made sure nobody followed me as much as I possibly could. I didn’t tell you because I was scared if you came, and it was a trap, you were a much bigger prize than I was.” 

“Oh, that is such fucking bullshit. If you told me and I came, you had double the chance to defeat whoever was waiting for you, whoever left you the message. But you didn’t want that, did you? You seem to like saying one thing when you mean another, don’t you?” 

“Ok, what the fuck has gotten into you? This is so not about me leaving.”

“No, it IS about you leaving. It’s about you lying. It’s about how every time I think we’re in one fucking place, it turns out we’re about five steps behind.” 

Neteyam watched as you stretched on the grass of your clearing, taking deep breaths in with your eyes closed, peacefully enjoying the outside, which you never really saw anymore. It will be your 17th birthday in a couple months, and Neteyam was wondering sorrowfully if he will get to be there for it. It’s been eating at him, the realisation he needed to leave, leave your life forever, but he was painfully grasping at every chance to see you, still be with you. He couldn’t imagine a life without you, and soon, he’ll have to live through it. 

Recently, your relationship changed. You have always been close, so close the whole world around you felt like just a playpen for your souls alone, but recently, things… evolved. Everything about it felt heightened, like it reached new zeniths Neteyam never thought anyone would be able to feel without collapsing from the intensity it pulsated through his veins. He’s always loved you, Neteyam mused. His whole life, there was not a moment he has not loved you. 

But as he watched you on the grass, soft shiny skin, so unlike his own, your tiny figure and those eyes that, despite being closed, Neteyam knew every inflection of by heart, he knew he felt more, that he fell in love with you - deeply and irrevocably. It wasn’t a recent development, either, it has been going on for a while, but in light of everything he knew he had to do, Neteyam knew it would hurt even more to vocalise these thoughts or even acknowledge them for himself. Only hurt could come of whatever it was you two had, and there would be no cure for the calamitous heartbreak he would have to go through when he did decide to leave for good, so the less he thought about you two together, your body on him, his lips on yours, spoken confessions and wondrous nights - the better.

“Hey, do you ever think about kids?”

“Kids?”

“Yeah, about having kids. About the future, about little Neteyams running around the village, one day bound to inherit your titles, and your beautiful soul and your endless good looks. ”

He blushed at your comment. He has, Neteyam thought. Multiple times. He thought about a family, about them running through this clearing, about their mother singing to them with that incandescent voice and worn-down guitar, and then he had to stop thinking about it, because it hurt, it took him out, the pain of knowing it was never going to be possible. It nauseated him, the idea of another woman, a woman he’d have to love and give himself to, a woman that wouldn’t be you, and his children that wouldn’t have your eyes, or your hair, or your propensity for being a lovable know-it-all. 

“Not really. It’s still a lifetime away. I’m just trying to enjoy each day as it comes along.”

Neteyam watched as you propped yourself up on your elbows and eyed him inquisitively. You were so tiny, you had to stretch your neck to look at his face. 

“Liar. You’re not a carpe diem kind of guy. You think about everything. You told me you had your whole future planned out when we were like seven.” You got up and walked to where he was sitting on the ground, back against the bark of a tree. When you were on your feet, your face was at the same levels as his, so you got really close to him, so close he could feel your breath on his face, and tried to ignore the thumping heartbeat and shivers going down his spine at your proximity. It’s gotten easier in time, being this close to you, as you have always been a touchy person, so he had no way of avoiding it - not that he would want to avoid it. 

“So why are you lying to me, Ne-te-yam?” 

Neteyam gulped, and he wondered if you knew - what this was doing to him, what you were doing to him. Wondered if you felt the same way, if you also felt dizzy when he was this close, if you also felt your knees weaken in his presence. 

“I’m not lying… I used to have everything planned out, but not anymore. It’s a little more complicated, this whole life thing, than I thought it was going to be when we were young.” 

Your gaze shifted from him to somewhere behind him, and you looked sad and deep in thought, subtle pain obvious in the way your eyes glistened with new-found tears.

“Yeah, I know.”

“Do you ever think about kids?” Your eyes found his again, and you looked hurt by his comment, and the unshed tears found their way down you cheek, that you wiped immediately. You turned around and started walking towards the river, and you kneeled next to it, looking at the way the water flowed, peaceful and determined. 

“That’s not funny.”

“I wasn’t trying to be funny… you asked me, so I assumed it’s because you were thinking about it.”

“You know I can’t think about kids, Neteyam. I can’t have kids, unless I have them with Spider.” You rolled your eyes and laughed a joyless laugh and he felt anger envelop him just at the mere thought. Agonising images were flashing through his mind, of you two, a much better fit for each other, compatible in biology and bodies and he felt suddenly sick and regretful of ever asking. 

He faintly saw you look back at him, and you clarified - you knew, knew he needed it. “I’m never having children with Spider, Neteyam. I was just saying, unlike you, the prospect is never in the cards for me. You will go off, find yourself a suitable mate, beautiful and smart and kind and fit to be a Tsahik, you will have a life and a family. I won’t. I will never have a tiny me running around, I’ll never have my parents’ genes, and everything I’ve learnt, and everything I am live on.”

You sighed, and the tears were falling swiftly in the palms resting upwards in your lap.

“Would you? If you could? Have kids… with someone else?” 

You smiled a small sorrowful smile, and looked up at the sky, almost as if you were praying to whoever could hear you.

“If I could… yes. With… someone else.” 

“Just fucking admit you don’t want to have my kids. You don’t want a family.” 

And the hits keep coming. So that’s what this is about. The guilt you felt about lying to him and sneaking out was quickly dissipating and being replaced with rage, burning heavily and brightly, wanting to leave nothing but destruction in its wake. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You heard me. Why? Why are so desperate for those pills, why do you hate the thought of having a baby with me so much? Do you have any fucking clue how that makes me feel?”

“NO, Neteyam! No, I have no fucking clue, because you won’t fucking talk to me. You have some nerve to hold these feelings inside after months of me asking you what is wrong, of KNOWING you are not ok, you LYING about it and then exploding in my face and demanding an explanation in this way.” 

“You know what? You are right. I don’t want a baby with you.” As soon as the words came out of your mouth, you knew it was too late. You knew you made a mistake. Because while the words were true, they were also not the whole truth. And as you watched your mate’s heart shatter in front of you, yours did too. It was too late to stop, though, as the rage was eating at your insides, begging to be released. 

“Why in God’s name would I want a child with a man who continuously puts himself at risk and will most likely get themselves fucking killed in the nearby future?! I grew up without a parent, Neteyam. I grew up without a dad. And I grew up with a mother who was heartbroken because of the lack of dad, and killed herself when I was fucking 10 years old. Do you have any idea what that does to someone? Do you have any idea the hell I have lived through my whole life? The holes in my chest nobody was able to fix, not even you, they’re still there. They’re patched up nice and neat, as well as anybody could hope for, but they’re still there. They will always be there.  I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy, much less on my child. So no, I do not want a baby that will grow up an orphan, that’s why I am so fucking desperate for those pills. And if you bothered to ever share with me, share what’s been bothering you, you’d know this.” 

Neteyam looked broken, eyes on you but not really, unfocused and distant, and you tried to calm down, tried to make words come out that could fix your previous ones. Your eyes were frozen on his, frozen on the tears forming in them, watching as they fell down his cheek and onto his bare chest. Eventually, it’s like he snapped back to life, and he started moving, not sparing you a second look. As he passed you by, you grabbed him by the wrist and stopped him. He removed his arm from your grasp like it burned him, like being touched by you was poisonous, and you winced at it, knowing deep down you deserved it. 

“Neteyam… I have dreamt about having a family with you for so long I can’t even remember when it started. I dreamt about our children, careless and free, happy and loud, running around the village, swimming in our clearing. I dreamt about teaching them guitar, and watching you teach them how to hunt or shoot a bow. I dreamt about them growing up and feeling sad about how quickly time is passing but being grateful for being able to watch it go by. I dreamt about their Iknimaya, and flying together for the first time. I dreamt so many things, for a long time my dreams were the only things keeping me going. Even when you were gone, the dreams, they never left. I had to live with knowing they would never come true for so long before I got the Avatar. I had to live with knowing I’d have to watch you have someone else’s babies, and it killed me. It killed me.” You were crying now, your chest convulsing in pain at the memories, at the present, at seeing Neteyam’s back tense and rigid, of not being able to look into his eyes. “When I got my Avatar, and we started being close again… when you kissed me for the first time, when you held me in your arms before my Iknimaya, I had flashes, flashes of hope, that despite my sickness, maybe those dreams weren’t impossible anymore. They were quickly shattered, of course, but they were there. Then after my consciousness transfer, the humans came back, and I was scared. I was scared of having a family during an active war. I thought we both agreed on that. Then watching you continuously put yourself at risk for Lo’ak, watching as you almost died in that train battle, it snapped something in me. My entire life, all the hurt and the pain of being orphaned came back full blast. Neteyam, if you die, I will too. And I don’t want to put an innocent being, our innocent being through that.” 

“Please, try to understand.”

You watched as Neteyam left you without another word and you were unsure if you would ever be able to fix this and you couldn’t help clutch your chest to try to alleviate the pain that was so strong it was radiating all throughout your body, just like one sentence, over and over. Did I lose him? Did I lose him? Did I lose him?

Neteyam walked towards a village like a ghost, like zombie, like a body without a soul, or a mind, just robotically taking step after step, trying to figure out if he could wake up, if this was a nightmare, if it was some sick joke. 

I don’t want a baby with you. I don’t want a baby with you. I don’t want a baby with you. 

Crack after crack, the pieces of his heart shattered like a broken jigsaw, like the one he did with you and Kiri when you were children, huddled together in the recreation hub. So he was right. He was right, his insecurities, however ridiculous they seemed sometimes, they were not without merit. You didn’t want his children. Not children, just his children. Because of who he is, because of his life choices and his desire to protect his family, his brother, you didn’t want him. Neteyam heard you justify it, and maybe somewhere deep, deep inside of him, he knew you had a point, that your own unique circumstances entitled you to this view, that you weren’t being unreasonable, but the hurt, the pain, the anguish and betrayal, they ran deeper. What was he supposed to do now? How would you ever be able to resolve this?

He noticed absentmindedly that there was commotion in the village, screams and wails coming from the Olo’eyktan’s tent. He felt himself walking towards it, with no real input from his mind, which was numb and in its own isolated, desolate little world. 

He heard Tonowari’s imposing voice, screaming over the booming voices of the villagers. As he approached, he saw his family, his father in the middle of the crowd, desperation all over his features. 

“This war has come to us! We knew about the hunting of our tulkun people, but it was over the horizon, far away! Now, it is HERE!” Neteyam saw the Metkayina poke their tongues out in a war cry, and he knew what he feared, what his family feared, is finally here. There was no avoiding it, the war with the Sky People, no avoiding the deaths that followed. Fear enveloped him, momentarily replacing the anguish you put in him, and he wondered where you were, if you had run away, as you used to like doing when you were young. Were you in danger? 

“Look, you have got to understand how the Sky People think.” His dad was trying to force his voice through the ululation, trying to get them to see reason. “They don’t care about the great balance.”

“WE DON’T ANSWER TO SKY PEOPLE.”

Neteyam couldn’t help his voice from speaking. “Listen. Listen to him.”

“They are not going to stop, this is only the beginning. You have to… tell your tulkun to leave. You gotta tell them to go far away!” 

“Leave?!” The Tsahik look disgusted with his dad, and he knew the Metkayina would never understand. None of them will, because they have never lived through what the Omatikaya had. They had no idea the depth of the cruelty, and lack of morals that plagued the aliens. They had no idea the loss his village suffered at their hands, and the sacrifices his family had to make. 

“You live among us and you learn nothing!”

“WE WILL FIGHT TO PROTECT OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS!”

“No no no no! IF YOU ATTACK, IF YOU FIGHT, THEN THEY WILL DESTROY YOU!” Pointing at Ronal’s pregnant belly, his father continued. “They will destroy everything that you love!”

“Hear my words!”

Like an out-of-body experience, Neteyam heard himself speak yet again. “Listen to my father. He speaks the truth.” 

The Toruk Makto picked the red impaling rod they found on the tulkun yesterday, got up to where the Olo’eyktan was so he was towering above everyone else, and pointed it for everyone to see. 

There was quiet all around him now, the villagers watching his dad carefully, with focused eyes. 

“You tell the tulkun that if they’re hit by one of these, they’re marked for death. And call for me, I’ll silence it. Saving their lives. That’s all that matters, right? Saving your family.”

“Tell the tulkun.” 

“Go, go!” 

Ululating can be heard all around as the Metkayina hurried and dove in the water, rushing to warn their brothers and sisters. Neteyam’s gaze shifted instantly to Lo’ak. He wouldn’t…

He would, it turns out, as Neteyam saw his baby brother hurrying out of the tent. He followed in his footsteps, knowing very well what Lo’ak was intending, knowing he had to stop him, no matter what. 

Neteyam watched as the younger Sully was sneakily placing a saddle on his ilu. 

“No way you’re running out today, baby brother.”

“I have to warn Payakan about the pingers.”

Neteyam was in no mood for this.

“No. You have got to keep your skxawng ass here.”

“He is outcast. There’s nobody to warn him but me.” Neteyam saw Lo’ak getting aggravated, the way he always got - his brother had no control over his emotions, never had, always ready and more than willing to explode at the slightest perceived slight. 

“Why do you always have to make things so hard, Lo’ak?”

“No, you mean why can’t I be the perfect son like you?” Neteyam’s heart took yet another beating, and he was unsure how much longer it could continue going in light of today, in light of everything it has had to suffer. First you, now Lo’ak, it seems everyone he loved was taking turns kicking him until the breath was knocked out of his lungs, until he would be unable to stand back up. 

“The perfect little soldier. Well, I’m not you!” 

The anger overtook Neteyam, who made his way so close to Lo’ak he was towering over him, a dark expression marring his features. 

“I’m not you. He’s my brother. I’m going.”

Crack. Crack. Crack.

“He’s your brother?” He pulled Lo’ak by the arm as he was turning away, speaking through clenched teeth. “No, I’m your brother!”

The conversation was interrupted by Tsireya and Ao’nung, both of whom jumped from their ilu and onto the platform they were on. 

“Lo’ak!” 

His brother took the opportunity that presented itself when Neteyam’s attention shifted onto the two siblings to escape his tight grip and jump into the water, immediately leaving towards Three Brothers Rock, where Payakan was. 

Neteyam didn’t think of anything else besides saving Lo’ak in that moment, and, as he called for his own ilu, he finally knew in his heart that you were right. 

You were flying, faster than you should be, considering the rain pouring all around you and the fact you could barely see a few meters in front of you, but you couldn’t stop. Because if you stopped, you’d have to think, you’d have to deal with the consequences of your actions, and that would be too much, too painful. Neyn was worried, as she could also not see, but she trusted you to guide her, she trusted you to keep her alive - her worry extended to you as well, to the horrid mood that seem to plague you, for the deep anguish in your soul that was making her cry loudly. You tried to calm her down, petting her gently. 

“Tam tam…” 

You have been going for a while now, longer than you knew you should have. You had little idea where you were, and where you were going. You didn’t even know if you could go back. Would you be able to face Neteyam again? Would you share a tent, would you ever be able to fix this?

You were so harsh, harsher than you needed to be. You hated his predisposition for following in his brother’s dangerous steps, but you promised him you’d be there to fix it. You told him you didn’t want to change him, that you would be there to patch him up. You told him you’d protect him. And instead of doing that, you struck him where it hurt most. You both had a habit of hurting each other, both had a habit of shooting to kill when in pain. So much has changed in between you, so much has changed in your worlds except the one thing that should have, that one thing that needed to. 

“Kid, are you there?” 

The voice pulled you out of your pondering, a voice you now recognised as your dad’s. 

“I’m here. Over.” 

“I don’t have a lot of time. The ship is hunting another tulkun. A solitary one.”

Oh, no… It can’t be.

“We’re about two klicks out. Kid… the Sully kids are there too.”

You felt all air being pushed from your lungs, unable to breathe in, feeling yourself becoming faint at the lack of oxygen and maddening heartbeat deafening you. 

“I will try to stop them. I don’t know if I can do this on my own.” 

Breathe. Try to breathe. 

“Hold your position. I’m coming. Get me a gun. Over and out.” 

Kiri. Tuk. Lo’ak…. Neteyam. Adrenaline coursed through your veins like icy water, waking you up, focusing your mind. You had no time to go back. You willed Neyn towards where you thought Three Brothers Rock was, and prepared yourself to fight for your life, for your family’s life, for your dad’s life. 

Your mind flashed to your fight with Neteyam, knowing you had to do everything in your power to make it right, not knowing that fight was the last conversation you will ever have with him before both of your lives are changed - forever. 

Taglist (thank you ily x) @changing7 @erenjaegerwifee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @winchestertitties @puffb4ll @rebeccao03 @ultimatebluff @cottoncandy23 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @n3t3y4msm4t3 @loquatious-josephi-krakousky @eternallyvenus @fresh-new-yoik-watah @lu-the-ghost-reader @@miawastakens @mm0thie @fanboyluvr @amortencjja

[ryuichirou]

imagine Florid, but make it more chaotic! For the sake of this scenario, Floyd and Riddle are in a long-term relationship. Now imagine Floyd (accidentally or not) meeting Mama Rosehearts 💀

Riddle is horrified because he's scared that his mother might react badly to him dating Floyd. I can imagine Mama rosehearts would probably want to marry Riddle off in an arranged marriage to a successful Girl from another family. At least that's the vibe she's giving me!

And oh boi! How floyd might react to meeting Mama rosehearts 💀💀💀 It's hard to predict how he might react since he's unpredictable and his moodswings, but I'm sure he won't like the fact that Mama rosehearts talks badly about him and the relationship between him and riddle. I can imagine floyd threatening Mama rosehearts!

Also, how dare this b*tch hurt his precious goldfishy? that's his job!!! >:(

Now imagine how chaotic it might be when Riddle meets his family!!!! Welcome to the mob family riddle :)))

Sorry for the late reply, Anon!

I think we talked about Floyd meeting Mama Rosehearts in one of our early FloRid replies, but yeah, she and Floyd would absolutely hate each other lol She definitely had plans for Riddle. She is the type to say stuff like “you’re (age) already and you haven’t found anyone yet, so we did it for you”. Of course, her usually well-behaved son bringing home this scary guy isn’t something that she was prepared for. Floyd didn’t even want to meet her, he doesn’t give a shit; it’s just Riddle who guilt-tripped himself into doing it because he couldn’t keep lying to Mama…

So yeah, I think their first meeting would end with Floyd calling Mama Rosehearts a bitch and Mama Rosehearts calling the police lol

And then she and Riddle would yell at each other all night because how could he do something so cruel to his poor mother...

Riddle would probably be very concerned about meeting the Leech family, and people around him reacting with “wow damn alright good luck” only made him even more concerned, and he definitely had a cultural shock when he met the Leeches… but he also had fun? But not too much fun, because Floyd’s parents are stricter than he thought they would be… which is… perfect? I guess?

But still scary. Like… w-where is that guy’s little finger? What happened to your father’s left eye?! And stuff like that.

[evb0]

first starkid fic! pretty happy w it.

jason x richie (aka weeball), chatfic, slightly angsty, 1052 word

*10/21/21 , 4:07 pm*

*DMS with @jsnjepson and @weeaborichie*

jsnjepson: hi 

jsnjepson: did u get home safe?

weeaboorichie: I’m omw home right now

weeaboorichie: ╥﹏╥

jsnjepson: okay !!

jsnjepson: you have food yeah?

jsnjepson: for the plane tomorrow 

weeaboorichie: yeah

weeaboorichie: I have like everything 

weeaboorichie: I’m still so pissed abt it tbh (¬､¬)

weeaboorichie: god my eyes hurt

weeaboorichie: from crying o(TヘTo)

jsnjepson: I’m so sorry love

jsnjepson: it’s so unfair I’m sorry you have to go through this

jsnjepson: you wanna call?

weeaboorichie: that would be nice

weeaboorichie: I’m sorry about all of this

jsnjepson: it’s not your fault

jsnjepson: I’ll text you every day 

jsnjepson: I promise

*@jsnjepson started a call that lasted 4 hours, 21 minutes and 8 seconds.*

*10/22/21 , 10:35 AM”

*DMS with @jsnjepson and @weeaborichie*

jsnjepson: what are u doing rn? <3

weeaboorichie: we just got in the place

weeaboorichie: haven’t taken off yet 

weeaboorichie: when we do my wifi will probably get so shitty too

weeaboorichie: idk if I can talk to you then (ノ﹏ヽ)

jsnjepson: that’s fine, don’t worry about it please love

jsnjepson: how do you feel?

weeaboorichie: physically or mentally

weeaboorichie: physically fine , I took advil 

weeaboorichie: but mentally. god. so shit

weeaboorichie: jace I’m gonna miss you so so much

weeaboorichie: and pete 

weeaboorichie: and ruth 

weeaboorichie: I don’t wanna leave

weeaboorichie: I’ve never even met this woman

weeaboorichie: uncle paul hasn’t met her since he was like. a baby

weeaboorichie: I have no clue why we’re MOVING. to like buttfuck nowhere texas 

weeaboorichie: neither of us care abt her

weeaboorichie: but we gotta uproot our whole fucking lives to take care of her

weeaboorichie: I DONT KNOW WHY WE CAN’T MOVE BACK WHEN SHE KICKS THE BUCKET TOO

weeaboorichie: god I just. he won’t tell me much and

weeaboorichie: I love you guys too much to. never see you again

weeaboorichie: god I can’t think about that

jsnjepson: that’s so shitty

jsnjepson: I’m so sorry love 

jsnjepson: I love you so so so much okay prince?

weeaboorichie: I love you too

weeaboorichie: thank you

weeaboorichie: I love you

weeaboorichie: fuck fuck fuck we’re taking off

jsnjepson: have a good flight love

jsnjepson: text me when you land please?

weeaboorichie: will do

weeaboorichie: I love you

weeaboorichie: bye bye

jsnjepson: bye love <3

*11/02/21, 12:43 am*

*DMS with @IAMJAGERMAN-IAMGOD and @jsnjepson*

jsnjepson: dude I just fucking

jsnjepson: I miss him so god damn much

jsnjepson: I don’t want to get out of bed

jsnjepson: ever

jsnjepson: my eyes hurt from crying

IAMJAGERMAN-IAMGOD: you’re like 

IAMJAGERMAN-IAMGOD: so down bad man

IAMJAGERMAN-IAMGOD: you wanna

IAMJAGERMAN-IAMGOD: come over to my house or something 

IAMJAGERMAN-IAMGOD: later

jsnjepson: not really

jsnjepson: I don’t wanna do anything

jsnjepson: but thanks bro

jsnjepson: for asking 

*11/04/21, 3:14 pm*

*GROUPCHAT with @micropeter, @flemwad and @weeaboorichie* 

weeaboorichie: i want to go HOME

weeaboorichie: this SUCKS

weeaboorichie: I don’t know ANYONE HERE!!!

weeaboorichie: I still get bullied

weeaboorichie: I miss you guys so so much

weeaboorichie: I’d do anything for a movie night with you two

weeaboorichie: and Jason

weeaboorichie: oh god Jason

weeaboorichie: I miss him so so much

weeaboorichie: it like actually hurts

weeaboorichie: we text and call like every day but

weeaboorichie: it’s not the same

micropeter: Sorry Richie :(

micropeter: We miss you a lot here too.

micropeter: Study sessions are so so much more boring without you.

flemwad: YES THEY ARE

flemwad: godddd I’d even watch one of ur weird ass animes w you I miss you so much

flemwad: and not  for the sexy anime girls !!!

flemwad: not just for the sexy anime girls

weeaboorichie: thanks guys

weeaboorichie: I love you two

weeaboorichie: I’m gonna go eat dinner now

*11/07/21, 2:21 PM.*

*DMS with @jsnjepson and @weeaborichie*

jsnjepson: hi love!!

jsnjepson: how’s it going? everything sorta ok over there?

weeaboorichie: actually. pretty good! 

weeaboorichie: I met this kid at my new school

weeaboorichie: his name is Ethan

weeaboorichie: he’s so cool

weeaboorichie: he likes anime and stuff!! he’s all caught up on Naruto too!!! 

weeaboorichie: he lets me borrow his manga alllll the time

jsnjepson: woaaa!!!

jsnjepson: that’s so cool! I’m so happy for you!!! 

jsnjepson: you wanna have a movie night tonight? online? we can watch the movie for that anime you like

weeaboorichie: maybe sometime

weeaboorichie: I’m hanging out w Ethan tonight 

weeaboorichie: okay okay I gotta go!!

weeaboorichie: I love you so much 

jsnjepson: okay!! I love you prince

jsnjepson: have fun

*11/11/21, 6:58 PM*

*DMS with @jsnjepson and @weeaboorichie*

weeaboorichie: hey jace!! sorry it’s been so long 

weeaboorichie: I’ve been busy with my new school and Ethan and everything

*11/11/21, 8:43 PM*

weeaboorichie: jace?

weeaboorichie: sorry if ur busy I totally get it

jsnjepson: SORRY SORRY I’m so so sorry I’m sorry I was at Max’s house

jsnjepson: that’s fine that’s fine!! I’m glad you’re settling into things!!

jsnjepson: how’s everything going ?? how are you?

*12/02/21, 9:32 AM*

weeaboorichie: fine

weeaboorichie: school is nice! 

weeaboorichie: me and Ethan have an anime club now and it’s so cool we watch two episodes every Friday and it’s like book club but for anime

weeaboorichie: he’s so cool he got me a jujitsu kaisen hoodie for my birthday!!!

*12/02/21, 12:59 AM*

jsnjepson: that’s cool

jsnjepson: a bunch of scouts came to the last game at hfhs and talked to me and max

jsnjepson: we might get to go to a really good collage for this

jsnjepson: college

jsnjepson: what college are you going too? 

weeaboorichie: uh idk

weeaboorichie: I think the same one as Ethan he has it figured out and stuff

weeaboorichie: I want to at least

weeaboorichie: you could send me whatever college u wanna go too

weeaboorichie: I guess I could look into them

*01/01/22, 1:00 AM.*

weeaboorichie: happy new years

jsnjepson: happy new years

*02/16/22, 9:30 AM*

weeaboorichie: sry it’s been awhile since I checked in

weeaboorichie: hru?

*02/17/22, 2:54 AM*

jsnjepson: good 

jsnjepson: wbu?

weeaboorichie: fine

*02/20/22*

*03/05/22*

*03/15/22*

*03/20/22*

*03/29/22, 12:43*

jsnjepson: I dont think i’m in love with you any more

*Read*

[damdammy]

Telling Bang Chan that you’re autistic

This is not at all from any fandoms that I usually write for, it was just an idea that I wrote down in like 20 mins at midnight lolol. It’s not that good, but yea, hopefully as I practice more my writing will be as good as it was before ^^

I’ve never written for Chan before so apologies if it’s not that accurate ;-;

(Just as a note in case people are confused, I myself am autistic so that’s where the idea came from)

Warnings: slight angst (but it has a fluffy ending), mention of ableism

“Hey,” he said as he entered the room, gently closing the door behind him. “You wanted to tell me something?”

I nodded and took a shaky breath. Come on, you had to tell him at some point. If not now, you’d have to wait even longer, and that could cause more complications.

He slowly sat down next to me, making sure to still give me the space that I needed. He was so sweet… but what if what I was about to tell him would change his perception of me? Sure, it isn’t actually the end of the world, but even the kindest people sometimes had misconceptions surrounding autism. That was what I was mostly scared of. That, and that he would see the ugly side of it and it would scare him off. Of course it was not all bad, not at all. But there were still negative sides to it that I didn’t like to show.

“You seem nervous, is everything okay, y/n?” Chan asked me. I nodded, although I knew damn well I didn’t look okay. My foot was tapping continuously while I fiddled with my hands, trying to calm myself down. I had no idea if I was blushing or not, but my face felt very hot. I didn’t like this.

I wanted to ask him to promise me that this wouldn’t make him see me differently but honestly, how can you be sure of that? Even if he were to promise that, he was a human after all. He wouldn’t be able to control his reaction.

“I… need to tell you something,” I started, mentally preparing myself. I had past experiences where telling people about me being autistic turned out for the worst, and although Chan was the kindest soul I had ever met, I was still terrified. Well, here goes nothing..

“I’m…. I’m autistic.” I said and squeezed my eyes closed. For a moment, it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. But that was soon replaced by my stomach going insane because of the nerves kicking back in. “I… I didn’t tell you earlier because I didn’t know when to, and I completely understand if you want to break up wi—“

“Wow wow wow, wait a minute there. I haven’t even responded and you’re already worrying about the worst.” He interrupted me gently. I finally lifted up my gaze, and was met with Chan kindly smiling at me.

“Was this what had you so nervous all day?” He asked, and if anyone else had asked that I would’ve felt embarrassed. But for some reason I didn’t feel that way now. So I nodded.

“Well, you’re still the same person you were before you told me, aren’t you?” I nodded again. But he didn’t get it, right?

“W-well yeah but autism is complicated, there’s certain parts you haven’t seen yet because I mask those.” I said, my voice getting quieter as the sentence progressed.

“And?”

“W-well, what if you don’t like those?” The fear was essentially dripping from my voice. I didn’t want him to leave me.

“Why wouldn’t I? I like you, and this is a part of you as well.”’

“But maybe it won’t be what you expected or it’ll be weird or—“

“That doesn’t mean I’ll leave you, Y/n, I promise.” Chan said as I felt him gently grabbing my hand. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? Sure, I may have to learn some new things about you here and there, but I’m more than willing to do so and it won’t change my perception of you.” I couldn’t help but smile at it.

“I appreciate that you told me about this, I can imagine that it may be hard to do so.” I slowly nodded and rested my head against Chan’s shoulder.

“People have left me over this… I didn’t want to lose you too.”

“Never.” He slowly lifted up my hand and kissed it softly, before repeating what he said earlier. “I promise.”

[blindrapture]

THURSDAY JUNE 2ND, 2011 ("le bouffon blanc")

10:30 AM Oh my god, this countryside! LOOK AT THAT. That is GORGEOUS. I can only imagine what it’d look like with a blue sky, rather than a red one. There’s one problem, though. It’s oddly quiet. No birds, no animals, no nothing. I thought I heard quiet whispering for a second, but that seems to have just been my imagination.

10:35 AM I’m takin’ a walk. :DDD

10:39 AM a voice speaks to me Are those guys in the distance wearing outfits like mine? o_o do you want to see?

10:41 AM The others are calling me back. ..they’re looking at me funny.

10:53 AM You’ve got to be kidding me. Someone told these guys I had blown up the hearse. They think I’m some harbinger of death, le bouffon blanc. I’m not a buffoon. ._. They wouldn’t let me stay. They seemed to get more and more angry with each reply I made. I just tried to ask for forgiveness, to be accepted. D: They looked.. afraid. Now I’m on my own again.

11:00 AM Well, sign says Paris is this way, so at least there’s something.

11:11 AM I WISH THIS WAS EASYYYY.

12:39 PM Heeeere I go agaaaain on my owwwwn

3:21 PM This road is oddly devoid of all life, whether it be friendly or fucked-up. It’s been going for miles. ..well, I suppose it’d be kilometres. Still, you get the point.

4:46 PM I hear cawing. I’m pretty sure it’s the same cawing I’ve been hearing for a week now. What is it, though?

4:48 PM I see nothing in the skies, and nothing’s anywhere in sight on the ground. ..hate highways.

6:03 PM I’m pretty damn hungry. I haven’t eaten in a while.

6:27 PM There’s a house off in the distance!

6:39 PM Nobody’s answering. I’ll see if I can break in.

6:43 PM I’m in.

6:44 PM Ohhhh hoh hoh hoh. Dear journal, today I met the object of my childhood obsessions. No, not girl farts. I met.. a crowbar. Jackpot. >w>

6:45 PM Note to self: Don’t ever show anyone this journal. Better yet, just rip that page out before you show it to people.

6:48 PM ..this house doesn’t have a basement? Damn! I hope the next one I find will.

6:56 PM On the road again, I’m so glad to be back on the road again. That’s a lie, by the way.

7:31 PM Found another house. This one’s also deserted.

7:33 PM DEAR SWEET I say “dear sweet ______” a lot these days. I don’t even know why I was so surprised. It’s a skeleton. Did I not expect to see dead people in the apocalypse? Well, okay, I mean, skeletons are still a little.. freaky.

7:35 PM BASEMENT. Damn, it’s dark down here. I should probably try speaking en francais from time to time, since I am en france, after all. Um… ALORS! C’est tres, tres— comment dit-on “dark” en francais? Je ne sais pas. Well, that was pointless.

7:37 PM FILS DE LA PUTE GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU STUPID I HATE YOU DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE NO DIE SHUT UP DIE I DON’T CARE JUST DIEFucking skeleton. Came to life. Yeah, well, lemme tell ya, skeletons don’t react too well to having a fucking crowbar in their fucking faces. Yeah, who’s laughing now, pute? I had no idea I knew how to swear in French. I feel ill.

7:41 PM Well, I definitely went down a rabbit hole. Last time I checked, France wasn’t fucking Dogscape. Dog planet, made entirely of dog, ground is dog flesh, trees are dog bone, there are giant dog eyes and dog ears and dog tails and dog mouths growing out of the ground, everything is alive and writhing and That does it, I’m gonna go throw up.

7:43 PM The rabbit hole’s not one-way, right? I can go back? Please let me fucking go back I’m not going out there oh my god. ..Jordan, let’s be reasonable about this. We both know— that is, me and myself— that the rabbit holes act like… like, uh…. what’s it called, again? That place in Minecraft. That Nether place. Where every step in there is equal to eight steps in the normal place. So yeah, rabbit holes are like that. You won’t have to go too far out there in Fucking-I-Hate land. I wish Fentzy was here. She’d appreciate that joke. Yeah, Jordan. You wanna know what else Fentzy would do? She’d fucking do this. Dogscape wouldn’t scare Fentzy.

7:45 PM OH GOD I HATE THIS OH GOD OH MY GOD I’M SO FUCKING GLAD I’M WEARING SHOES FUCK YOU, BRAVE PART OF ME.

7:46 PM IT’S MY BODY, DOGSCAPE. AND IF YOU’RE TOUCHING ME IN A WAY OR PLACE THAT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, THAT’S NO GOOD.

7:48 PM SO WHAT WILL I DO, DOGSCAPE? FIRST, I’LL SAY NO. THEN, I’M GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.

7:50 PM gonnabarfgonnabarfgonnabarfgonnabarf

7:52 PM DEAR SWEET MOTHERFUCKING SWEET DEAR THE FUCK YOU NO TICKS TICKS TICKS TICKS TICKS TICKS THE SIZE OF ICE CREAM TUBS TICKS THE SIZE OF ICE CREAM TUBS RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUNGET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE PLEASE PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE RABBIT HOLE PLEASE PLEAASE YOU’RE ENJOYING THIS AREN’T YOU YOU’RE ENJOYING MY SUFFERING WELL FUCK YOU AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Wait, I have a crowbar. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE GO FUCKING DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

9:42 PM home earth life not covered in dog guts thank you rabbit hole oh god can’t sleep dogscape’ll eat me even though i’m back in reality i can’t sleep dogscape’ll eat me i don’t wanna be a part of it oh god

(The next several pages of the journal are filled with insane scribblings and words. “Dog” appears a lot. They stop by 11 PM, and are then met by today’s attached piece of paper: “There’s something magical about 11 PM. It’s the perfect interval between ‘too early, not tired enough to sleep’ and 'too late, will not get enough sleep,’ or at least it usually is for most schedules. And for those who stay up through it, it’s that magical hour when a lot of people are asleep so there’s a nice quiet air, but it’s still early enough to promise a whole night ahead. Plus as soon as the clock hits 11 PM, a miracle happens somewhere on Earth, and you can take that to the bank and no one can convince me otherwise! Then only eleven minutes later is when the wishing can happen. What’s not to love about 11 PM? Also the moment when the clock goes from 11:59 PM to 00:00 AM is magical too, because.” This piece of paper also has, in red marker, “F” in a circle and “Very funny! This doesn’t fly in Advanced Metaphysics!” written next to it. This paper was probably not intended to go here.)

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[threadsun]

ha ha ha, HA HA HA, IT'S DONE, IT'S FINALLY FUCKIN DONE!

Sorry but this one just wasn't happening for me, but, finally, after I think like two weeks? It's done. It's short, but it's fuckin done. Hope you like it : D

You shake your head, trying to get out of the weird headspace you were just in before agreeing. As you stand from the couch your legs feel like jelly, honestly your whole body feels a bit sluggish after your panic attack. Jean’s eyes fill with fear as you start to walk to Shaun “W-Wait! You can’t go yet, you, um, you haven’t had any tea yet! If you just give me a second I’ll-” You tell Jean you’d love to stay but you can’t if there’s an emergency “Thank you your grace, at least someone here has there head screwed on right”

You’re almost out the door when you turn to say one last goodbye to Jean, he looks dazed, like he’s trying to remember which way is up. You go to ask him if he’s ok but Shaun takes your hand, leading you down the road to wherever this emergency is. You two run down the road for a minute or two before slowing down to a walk. You ask them why you’re slowing down “Well, there is an emergency but you’re gonna need Nick there with you to deal with him. So I figure, why rush? Nick won’t be on set for another fifteen” You ask them why you started running in the first place

“You think I was leaving you in that house? No way in hell. I mean, I’m sure you can handle yourself but new faces are Jean’s specialty. Any longer and I’m sure he’d have convinced you to add him to your harem” Why is everyone talking about your harem? You tell them Jean was just trying to help you after you started panicking “And what made you start panicking?” You were asking Jean questions when he told you were like actually a god and how you were super important and…oh, oh fuck

“Yeah, that’s Jean for ya. Damn snake, he’s got almost the whole town’s pity after his accident too. Don’t worry, anyone that actually knows him knows how fucking awful he is” You ask how many people actually know him, Shaun’s face falls “Not nearly enough” They clear their throat before attempting to lighten the mood “But that’s enough of that, how are you holding up? Today’s probably been a lot huh?” You sigh and agree, you’ve already met so many people, and you’re bound to meet so many more

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better, most people around here are in bed by nine so everyone’s already starting to wind down for the day. People don’t fully know you’re here yet so you have until at least tomorrow before shit gets crazy” You ask him about the emergency “Oh, well, yeah ok things are gonna get a little crazy tonight but Bo is pretty low energy these days so…I mean that’s not a good thing, but he’ll be easier to manage”

You ask how Bo’s doing “Well, he’s still kicking, so there’s that” Is that really the best news about him? Shaun sighs “Yeah, poor guy, hasn’t eaten anything since the funeral” You ask how long ago that was “About a week now, Nick’s been able to get him to drink a bit of water but that’s about it” You ask how he’s still alive “The guy’s strong, even like that he’ll still growl at anyone who tries to enter the founder’s room that isn’t Nick. That’s why I’m not sending you in there without him”

You give Shaun your thanks and you two walk in silence until Shaun takes a turn off of the cobble road. You follow his lead and eventually you get to a small filming set over by the forest. Wait, film set, wasn’t- “Hey, Ian, I’m back!” “Oh thank god, Shaun I love you man but you can’t just leave me in charge like…oh” You greet Ian as he realizes you’re there “Uh, hi, hello, how-uh shit how are you?” You give a shrug and tell him you’re fine “Hey, how come you aren’t in costume yet?” Ian sighs “Sorry Shaun but as soon as you left Daniel damn near set the forest on fire with one of the props” “Again? I swear, that kid has got to get it together”

It’s fascinating to see Ian talk to Shaun like this, he’s so casual about it, so fluent. Who is this man and what has he done with your Ian? Wait, your Ian? Ah! shut up shut up! “Hey, thought I’d swing by early. Hope that’s cool”

OUR IAN!!!!! 😍🥰 And Shaun helping you catch on to Jean's tricks is Very Good >:3c

Also I feel you should know that this time when I was reading it to Moon, our cat came in to listen as well and she liked it too!! :3c

[rafesangelita]

okay this is really specific but when i saw that you’re a latina writer i had to request a oneshot with latina!reader who gets approached by rafe in a club bc he’s in love with the way she dances >.< pls end it w smut, i’ll dieee

₊˚⊹ᰔ 𝐥𝐚́𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐨𝐬

pairing: rafe cameron x latina!kook!reader

warnings: rafe is shy until he gets in the bedroom, unprotected sex, soft sex (for the most part), body worship, sorta fast paced ngl

word count: 1.9k

a/n: the way i screamed when i saw this prompt!! pls give me feedback for latina!reader, i’d love to include her in more works!

“you haven’t said a word since we got here, man.” kelce took a seat next to rafe at the bar, ordering a shot he knew he shouldn’t take. “this isn’t really my scene. none of it.” rafe couldn’t stand all the party lasers lighting up the place, let alone the overly loud music that boomed throughout the club. “you haven’t even tried to have fun, look at topper! he’s having the time of his life.” eyes moving past his friend, rafe laughed once he saw topper drunkenly dancing with a group of girls.. you being one of them. he didn’t know what he was fascinated by more; your beauty, or the way that you moved.

“who’s that?” rafe nodded in your direction, his heart skipping a beat when you glanced up at him. “why don’t you find out?” kelce downed his shot, a groan tumbling from his throat. rafe never approached women, mostly because they were already lined up and waiting for him, but with you he felt a sudden urge to get up and get you before anyone else can. just as he was leaving his seat, he watched you roll your hips against one of your girlfriends, his eyes locking with yours as you did so. “fuck.” rafe cursed under his breath, you and your bestie giggling at the flustered look on his face.

it felt like forever before he actually approached you, your friend whispering a ‘buena suerte— good luck.’ to you before sauntering off in topper’s direction. “i hope i’m not interrupting your fun or anything..” rafe didn’t think it was possible for someone to be this beautiful, yet so intimidating at the same time. he felt like he was throwing himself into the lion’s den with the way you were looking at him. “i saw you when i was talking to my friend, and i just had to come over here.” he scratched the back of his neck, the nervous action making you smile.

“you had to?” rafe swallowed thickly, nodding slowly as you got closer to him. “ven, let’s talk.” reaching for his hand, you led him back to your section where it wasn’t so loud. he couldn’t keep his eyes from watching the way your hips swayed when you walked, your perfume intoxicating him more than any bottle of liquor in this club could. “siéntate— sit down.” you patted the spot next to you, draping your legs across his lap. rafe rested his hand on your thigh as if it was second nature to do so. trailing his gaze from your glossy lips to the way your jewelry shined against your skin, he couldn’t choose what looked prettier.

“what’s your name?” you asked him, fingers twirling the ends of your hair as you batted your eyelashes up at the handsome man. “just rafe, nothing special.” he shrugged, a nervous laugh leaving his lips once you started trailing an acrylic nail down his chest. you were fully aware of the effect you had on men, but something about rafe endeared you and turned you on at the same time. “nothing special?” you gasped, “you’re the first rafe i’ve ever met, of course you’re special.” it wasn’t often that rafe received any kind of praise, but if someone told him that a woman as beautiful as yourself would be giving that to him tonight, he wouldn’t believe them.

“yeah?” he felt his chest bloom with pride when you smiled. “and your name?” rafe watched as your eyes flickered down to his lips. “y/n.” damn, even your name was perfect, butterflies fluttering in your tummy when you heard him test it out on his tongue. “y/n.. i like that.” both of you laughed to yourselves, exchanging glances as you two decided to share a drink together. rafe surprised himself when he agreed, surely he’d decline if it was anyone else but he felt like he was lucky just by merely being in your presence.

you conversed for a while, trying your best to break rafe out of his shell, in which you were slowly but surely succeeding. now he couldn’t stop smiling down at you, even going as far as cracking a few jokes that you didn’t have to fake a laugh for. “thank goodness you’re funny, i like someone who knows how to have a good time..” maybe it was because you knew you made him nervous, and that alone made you overconfident, but you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself no matter how hard you tried. rafe studied you for a moment, fingertips tracing the neckline of your top.

“i’ve never met someone like you.” you’ve heard that plenty of times, but coming from rafe it felt more genuine and not a ploy to get you in bed.. even though you wouldn’t deny him if he asked. “someone like me?” you leaned in, nearly stealing his breath away when he felt your nails running across the skin underneath his shirt. “y-yeah, you make me feel things.” the revelation made you pause. truth be told, rafe wasn’t the kind of guy you’d expect to hear that from, let alone reciprocate. “you make me feel things, too.” now it was your turn to lose your breath as he leaned in, his thumb stroking your chin.

the second his lips touched yours, you knew you were done for. he was gentle at first, leading the kiss until you felt his tongue swipe across your bottom lip. you soon rested a hand on the back of his neck as if you could pull him any closer than he already was. “come home with me.” rafe pulled away breathlessly, the urgency in his voice bringing him to his feet. “okay..” you nodded, his hand taking yours. “you don’t want to let your friends know?” he looked around, kelce and topper no where to be found.

“no te preocupes— don’t worry about it, they’ll find me.” you and rafe shared a look, a giddy feeling erupting in your tummy as he lead you out of the club and to his truck. “thank god i don’t live far.” you giggled as you watched him jog around to his side of the truck. the ride back to rafe’s place consisted of sloppy kisses and curses under his breath as you ran your palm across his jean-clad erection. “fuck, you’re killing me right now.” he would look down momentarily at your hand, pursing his lips together to keep any sounds from coming out of his mouth.

finally, he pulled into the driveway of tanneyhill, carrying you bridal style up the stairs as your laugh echoed throughout the empty house. once he got you inside his room, he refused to waste time, tossing you on his bed before you two practically ravaged one another. despite having rafe wrapped around your finger, you were the first one to get naked, rafe’s hands roaming your body as if you weren’t real. “holy shit.” he felt overwhelmed, not knowing what to do or where to start.

“how?” he traced the curves of your hips, trailing kisses from the valley of your breasts to your neck. “how the fuck is someone this perfect?” you shimmered under the soft lighting of his room, courtesy of the body glitter your friend doused you in earlier in the night. you cupped his face, wanting to feel his lips on yours again. you couldn’t help but tug at his shirt, hoping he’d get the hint. rafe took the garment off in one swift movement. while he was over here worshipping your body, you were at a loss for words at the sight of his.

you kept your eyes on him as his jeans and boxers were next to go, your thighs rubbing together when his cock sprang up against his stomach. “i don’t think i could let you leave after this..” he slotted himself between your legs, reaching over to his bedside table for a condom. you stopped him once you saw the foiled square between his fingers. “por favor— please, i want you like this.” rafe nearly cried in relief. tossing the condom to a random corner of his room, both of you let out a shaky breath as he lined himself up with your entrance.

he groaned, your slick cunt hugging his cock. “fuck, you’re soaked.” he took one of your hands, interlocking his fingers with yours as you left kisses across his chest. “f-feels so good..” you whimpered, his arm caging you in to keep your body flush against his. “yeah? you’re so fuckin’ pretty, baby.” rafe’s eyebrows knitted in pleasure, his pubic bone hitting your clit. moving your hips to meet his thrusts, rafe’s eyes rolled back when he felt your walls squeezing around his length.

“oh, dios!” your grip on his bicep tightened, your cries sounding like music to rafe’s ears. “what does that mean?” he looked down, pressing a kiss to the corner of your lips. “i said ‘oh, god.’” your voice came out shaky, a particular stroke of his hips making you moan. “you gonna teach me spanish?” you nodded, pulling your hand away from his to run your fingers through his hair. “want to ride you..” you whispered, pushing at his chest so you could go on top.

rafe would’ve been perfectly fine with you being a pillow princess, but after hearing those words leave your mouth, he thought he’d die if he didn’t see you ride his cock. laying on his back, he guided you on top of his lap, where you sunk down on his length, both of you moaning in unison. “shit.” he hissed, his hands now resting on your ass. you yelped, leaning your weight on his chest as you started slamming your hips down on his. “fuck, rafe,” the man underneath you was mesmerized by everything you did.

the rise and fall of your chest with every breath, the way your tits bounced, your bottom lip being trapped between your teeth, all of it was ingrained in his brain now. rafe laid a palm flat against your stomach, using his thumb to rub your clit in fast circles. “i want you to cum around my cock, let me feel it baby.” you cried out, thighs trembling around his waist as your nails dug crescents into his skin.

this was unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, your head rolling to the side while rafe did everything in his power not to fill you up with his cum. “rafe?” you looked down at him, teetering the edge of pure euphoria. “yes?” his mouth hung open, eyes glued to where your pussy took him in with ease. “want you to cum inside me.” that sentence made his eyes shoot up, cock twitching as he neared his high. “are you sure?” he groaned, wrapping both arms around your waist. you hummed, holding onto his shoulders as he fucked into you from below.

“sí— yes, i want it!” your hair fell from it’s updo, a stray curl falling in your face as both of you came. “ah, shit,” rafe panted, your soft velvety walls squeezing around him, taking him for everything he had. you cried out, hugging him to your chest as you shook in his embrace. eventually, your movements came to a stop, the two of you slowly coming down from your highs. “oh, my god.” you sighed, pressing a kiss to his lips before wrapping your arms around his neck. “are you okay?” he moved your hair out of your face, admiring your post-sex afterglow.

you hummed, giving him a shy smile as you hid in the crook of his neck. “y/n?” rafe ran a soothing hand down your back, “how do you say ‘stay the night.’ in spanish?”

[hawkinsp0st]

omfg my new favorite thing ramen noodles are saying is that we’re misogynistic towards el bc we’re “saying that a woman can’t be badass and independent while also in a relationship”

ummm no i would love it if el had a significant other and i’m kinda sad there prob won’t be time for it s5. there is nothing i want more for my girl el hopper than to see her dating someone who treats her like max does—affirming, respecting her individuality, ardent and affectionate.

i’m gonna take off my byler goggles for this one just to prove a point.

i don’t want el to date mike wheeler bc:

1. she didn’t know what a friend was when she met mike. be serious

2. she thought he would be “like her brother” and he had to explain to her that she wouldn’t be his sister bc he liked her (lol that felt so gross to type out)

3. i adore mike but he was honestly a major dick in rink o mania—he hadn’t seen her in 185 days but mostly paid attention to how will was acting; knows she has a background of trauma but still didn’t do much to defend her from her bullies; and even knowing el’s trauma background & knowing that angela was an aggressive bully, he judged the shit out of el for attacking angela and didn’t even give her a chance to explain herself as to why it happened. he then exposed her for it in front of joyce for no reason like that was so unnecessary. like bro this was your first day seeing her in months please get your act together >:(

4. he invalidated her whole experience of being bullied: “you can’t let these mouthbreathers ruin you—ruin us!” huh???? this isn’t about u my brother in christ?? and el didn’t “let” anyone do anything she was a victim of bullying?

5. he couldn’t say “i love you” to her when she was crying and practically begging him to, and also, he can’t even write it and we still have yet to see him write it. it would’ve been cute to see a gift at the end from mike to el or a little note that said “love, mike” but nah, i bet you a million dollars this guy still cannot write it.

6. el was choking to death and he still couldn’t say it until he felt will’s touch and was reminded of will’s love confession in the van lmaoooo…..when ur bf’s homie has to support him thru your “big romantic love confession”

7. he doesn’t know a damn quality about her. “ooooh she likes eggos and purple and yellow” so does every other bitch on the planet. i like purple and yellow too but mike wheeler doesn’t know me. next

8. he emphasizes that he loves her powers, people are being careless with her powers, etc. he does care about her ofc but it’s always centered around her powers. “it helps her calm down and focus on her powers” was my favorite subtle s4 example of this. he’s proudly schooling argyle on el’s powers bc that’s the 1 thing he actually knows about el lmao.

9. “you’re squishing your present” shut up asshole you haven’t seen her in 180+ days just hold her tight 😭 oh right u won’t

10. mf had multiple chats while el was gone with his ~bestie~ about why he can’t say ily to el……sus

idk why i made this post i just had to get this out lol………to be clear i love mike wheeler w all my heart and he’s literally my favorite but his forced relationship turns him into the worst, fakest version of himself and he is always like that with el.

i literally love el so much, why would i want her to date this mf?????

[maximons]

Tricks And Treats

Summary: Pietro tries to get Wanda and Y/n to finally admit their feelings for each other and takes them to a haunted house. Too bad Wanda is a full on scaredy cat...or is that exactly what is needed?

Word Count: 2,915

Genre: Fluff

Requested?: Yes

A/N: Finally back with the Fluff! Here’s that one shot I promised like a week ago lmao Happy Reading!

Halloween was for sure your favorite holiday.

You knew you were in the minority with that thought, seeing most people picked Christmas as their favorite, but you didn’t care. You always loved the time of year that came with Halloween, your birthday fell pretty close to it, you get to dress up and pretend to be someone else for a day, and it’s full on spooky season! What wasn’t there to love?

Well apparently a lot, at least according to your best friend Wanda.

For someone who’s a witch, you find it very funny that she doesn’t like the holiday.

You first met Wanda during the whole Ultron situation, back then she took on a more ‘emo’ appearance. Don’t tell anyone you said this, but you wouldn’t mind if she adopted the look again cause damn, so you just assumed Halloween and all things spooky would be for her, right?

Wrong.

You quickly learned that Wanda was not a fan of scary. You remember asking her to go see this new horror movie with you, it was your first time hanging out alone together and you just figured it’d be something she was into.

By the end of the movie, her face was buried in her knees, and she didn’t believe you when you told her the movie was over. The poor teenager working the theater was pretty annoyed with you both.

Needless to say, you didn’t bother her about anything spooky related again.

So when Pietro came to you two asking if you wanted to go to the new haunted house in town, you were beyond shocked that she agreed without a second thought.

“Uh, Wanda are you sure?” You asked, very hesitant. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a haunted house before, but-”

“I know what they are, Y/n.” Wanda cut you off before you finished, seeming very enthused, which confused you more. “I think it’ll be really cool!”

“Yeah...Wands, I know this group. This isn’t your typical ‘few scary decorations with the occasional light jump scare’ thing. These guys are intense.” You tried again. You didn’t know what had gotten into the witch, but you were sure she was making a mistake here.

“Y/n/n, relax. I’m not a child, I can handle myself. Trust me, okay? It’ll be great!” The bright smile on Wanda’s face was always a sight you welcomed, but it confused you in the moment. Still, you knew once her mind was set on something...let’s just say it’d be easier to find all the infinity stones than to talk her out of it.

“Alright, if you say so.” You shrugged, deciding it was best to drop the topic. Besides, she was right, Wanda’s a grown woman who can make her own choices. You just get to wait to be able to tell her that her choice was a stupid one. “So Friday night?” You asked Pietro, who nodded excitedly.

“Friday night!” He confirmed.

“Okay, cool.” You took another quick sip of your morning coffee before setting your mug down. “I gotta get ready for training. So happy to be working with Steve today instead of Nat, he’s always a walk in the park.” You said sarcastically with a roll of your eyes. “Wish me luck.” 

The twins wished you luck as you left the room to go get ready. After they were sure you were out of earshot, the witch turned to her brother. “This is your plan? Are you crazy?”

“I know, I know, but trust me, okay?” He reassured, walking to the fridge to grab himself a drink. “Y/n loves this stuff, and as she is the love of your life-”

“Whoa, whoa, I-I never said-”

“-You should experience the things that she loves to do.” Pietro finished, ignoring his sister’s intervention. “I’ll do my best to stay out of your guys’ way, and you have the whole evening to yourselves. Sounds perfect to me.”

“Yeah, until I act like a complete, how do they say, ‘spaz’ around her again.” Wanda sighed, leaning on the kitchen counter in defeat.

“You won’t. You know what kind of things to expect now. And if you do freak out, all the more reason to be by her side. She will protect you.”

Wanda looked at her brother in confusion. “I can protect my self.”

Pietro rolled his eyes playfully. “Not what I meant. You will see, sestra.”

Friday night came before you know it, and you, Wanda and Pietro were waiting in the line to buy your tickets to enter.

“Holy shit, this is a long line.” Pietro complained, causing you to chuckle.

“Not surprising. It’s the week before Halloween, weather’s nice, and this group doesn’t come to New York a whole lot. More surprised it isn’t longer actually.” You shrugged.

“Why don’t they come to New York? I thought this was one of America’s more popular states?” Wanda asked.

“It is, but ever since Loki invaded and our merry band of misfits formed, tourism and things like this have been down a whole lot.” You leaned down to get closer to Wanda’s ear. “I guess we’ve been the scary ones all along.” You joked, but Wanda was more focused on trying to calm down and forget the feeling of your breath against her ear.

“Everything alright there, Wanda?” Pietro asked after a moment, teasing smirk on his face. Before Wanda could even fire back, a voice from in front of you spoke up.

“No way! You guys are Avengers!” The group in front of you turned around, one of the guys recognized you instantly.

“Uh, yes...we are.” Wanda awkwardly stated. You knew Wanda hated fan interactions, and to be honest you weren’t a fan of these situations either. They were unpredictable. The Avengers were either beloved or despised, and you’ve been on both ends of the reaction spectrum. Wanda and Pietro, unfortunately, have seen a lot more animosity than you and the others.

Honestly, you couldn’t even fault the ones that didn’t love you guys. You weren’t ignorant and knew your battles have caused a lot of problems for a lot of people. You could sympathize, but that didn’t mean you wanted to be on the receiving end of that anger. Especially not when you were trying to just have a fun night out with your friends. “Look guys, we’re really just here to have a good time. We don’t wanna cause a scene.” You said.

“Nah, nah, it’s cool. I think you guys are awesome!” The guy said, and it was clear to you then that the dude was baked out of his mind. “Especially you, with the red wiggly woos!” He pointed to Wanda as he gave a terrible impression of her hand movements. You smiled, happy to see a fan interaction go well for Wanda.

The joy you felt didn’t last long though, as another guy in the group turned to you, blunt in his hand. “Hey, you’re the fire one right? Can you do me a solid?” He gestured to you, asking you to give him a light. You sighed, the twins chuckling at the situation.

“Yeah, but don’t ask again.” You ignited the tip of your finger, gently placing it on the end of the blunt. The group turned around in line and continued to go about their own conversation. You felt Wanda elbow your side, and you turned to see a smirk on her face. When you heard Pietro’s snicker, you groaned.

“Shut up.”

“Look at you, helping delinquents. Aren’t you supposed to be a superhero? Bringer of justice and all of that?” Wanda teased and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“Yeah, but I’m the fun one. It’s just weed.” You said confidently, but the witch saw through it and you dropped the act. “And the last time that happened and I said no, the dude burst into tears.” You said under your breath.

“There it is.” She smiled, and you couldn’t help but smile back despite you being the subject of mockery. You loved seeing her smile, you didn’t care about the reason why.

Before you knew it, Pietro announced that you guys were next in line to buy tickets. He bought his and stepped aside so you can go next. “Hi, two please.” Wanda turned to you with her eyebrows scrunched in confusion.

“Wha- Y/n, I can afford it.” She chuckled nervously, flattered by the action.

“I know, but when I have to drag you out of here cause you’re paralyzed in fear, at least you won’t regret dropping forty bucks on it.” You shrugged as you handed the cashier your credit card.

Wanda’s face reddened, something she quickly tried to hide from her brother who was enjoying this way too much. Her flustered state faded quickly when she processed what you said. “Hey!” You chuckled before thanking the cashier as she returned your card.

“Please go to the table to sign your waivers, entrance is down that hill. Enjoy your night.” The monotone voice told you that the poor woman’s been working all night. You didn’t have time to dwell on that though as you felt a panicked tapping on your arm.

“What’s wrong? We haven’t even entered yet.” You teased.

“W-what did she mean by waivers?” You chuckled at the panicked tone in the witch’s voice.

“Just means if you have a heart attack or something, you can’t sue.” You shrugged nonchalantly, but Wanda took it very seriously and turned to you with even wider eyes.

“That can happen!?”

“Well, it happened at least once if the thought of doing a waiver.” You answered, once again, nonchalantly. You looked at Wanda and could swear you saw her blood run cold. You laughed, which resulted in you receiving a glare. “Relax, Wan, you’ll be fine. You’re an Avenger, you’ve faced off against killer robots, stared death in the face time and time again!” You exclaimed dramatically as you waved your arms. You noticed Wanda start to smile and relax her shoulders. 

“Thanks, Y/n.” She gave you a sweet smile, and you couldn’t help but melt.

“Yeah, anytime.” Your eyes locked with Wanda, you were about to look away but couldn’t. ‘Wow, were her eyes always this green? They’re beautiful.’ You thought.

A blush appeared on the witch’s face as she tore her gaze from you. You were about to ask what happened, but were interrupted. “Let’s go slow pokes!” Pietro’s voice shouted, effectively breaking the moment.

“Yeah, yeah Sonic, we’re coming!” You rolled your eyes as you shouted back. Wanda giggled at the banter between you and her brother, she loved that you two were close. With that, you and her headed down the hill towards the entrance.

After about a half hour, it seemed Wanda was holding up well. The three of you walked out of the corn maze, and she had a triumphant smile on her face. “I thought you said this place was scary.” She teased causing you to roll your eyes playfully.

“Congratulations you survived the corn maze, you get to join the hall of fame with the other twelve year-olds.” As if to emphasize your point, three twelve year-olds ran out of the maze in giggles, clearly unaffected. Wanda pouted. “Aw, don’t worry. I thought you were very brave.” You teased yet again, which resulted in an elbow to the side.

“You’re a jerk.” Wanda held back a smile as she strutted forward. You laughed as you jogged forward to catch up.

“Alright, are you guys ready for the big one?” Pietro asked and your eyes widened.

“Oh, Piet, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” You said as you nudged your head towards Wanda, hinting that you didn’t think she could handle that. Unfortunately, she caught on.

“Aw come on, Y/n. I’m not a baby.” 

“I know, but you can’t go from the corn maze to...that.” You gestured towards the haunted maze entrance, a giant purple demon with smoke blowing out of it’s ears looming over. You guys turned at the sound of screams, and saw a group run out of the maze in fear, which then dissolved into laughter.

“They seem to be having fun.” Wanda gestured towards the group.

“Yeah, after the screams of terror.” You shot back. “You can’t go from walking around the block to running a marathon.”

“Oh yeah? Watch me.” Wanda strutted forward towards the entrance, determined to prove you wrong.

You groaned as you looked over to Pietro, who watched the whole ordeal with a cheeky smile. “Your sister’s insane.”

“Yeah, but you love it.” Pietro said under his breath, but you still heard it.

“What?”

“Nothing!” With that, the man sped forward, catching up to his sister at the entrance. You stared after him for a moment in shock before joining them.

The three of you walked the path, and everything seemed to be going well...for all of five seconds. The first jump scare happened behind Wanda. The loud screech startled her, and she jumped with a scream. She stumbled into your arms, and you wrapped them around her in order to keep her from falling. You chuckled, and Wanda looked up at you with the intention to glare. However, when your eyes locked again, Wanda couldn’t help but stare.

You, of course, had to ruin the moment. “Not too late to turn back, y’know. This is just the beginning.” Wanda groaned and pulled away from you, continuing forward. You laughed. “You can hold my hand if you want!” You don’t know what compelled you to say that, but you knew you weren’t entirely joking.

And you didn’t regret it when Wanda reached out and held your hand without another word. You smiled, squeezing her hand.

What you didn’t see was Pietro giving Wanda a thumbs up as you both walked past.

At some point, you guys lost Pietro in the dark maze. Wanda wasn’t even worried as she still held your hand tightly, and you knew the man would be fine and he’ll meet up with you at the exit. 

Wanda had been holding up better than you thought. You wouldn’t say she was good per say, seeing as she screamed and practically jumped into your arms at the slightest sound, but she hadn’t collapsed on the ground in tears yet, so you’d count that as a win.

“Gotta say, Maximoff. I’m impressed.” You said as you two walked down the maze hand in hand.

“I’m just being that super brave Avenger like you said.” Wanda giggled, and you couldn’t help but melt at the noise.

“Well you’re doing an awesome job. Even if the last three guys almost made you pee your pants.” You laughed loudly as you took in the shocked reaction the woman gave you.

“Y/n!” She scolded, but before you could even respond, the worst jump scare yet occurred. 

A large animatronic growled and lowered from the ceiling right behind Wanda. The witch turned to look briefly as she screamed loudly and jumped to you again. This time, however she literally jumped into your arms. You quickly braced your hands under her thighs, catching her, as she wrapped her legs around your waist. The force from the jump caused you to stumble back into a darker corner of the maze. Your back hit a hay wall, and you and Wanda laughed at the moment. Your laughter continued for a moment, and Wanda lifted her head from your shoulder to look into your eyes. Both of you got quiet as you continued to stare, sensing the moment shift.

“You okay?” You whispered, almost as if talking to loudly would shatter the moment. Wanda nodded, eyes still locked onto yours. After a moment of silence, she spoke up.

“Y’know...I think a distraction would help.” Your eyebrows shot up at the insinuation. You doubted you heard her correctly, but when you saw her eyes shift down to your lips, you knew what she wanted. And you wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t want it too.

“I...Yeah, I think I could help with that.” You barely got your sentence out when Wanda smashed her lips to yours roughly. You tightened your hold on her thighs as she wrapped her arms around your neck. You stood there, making out roughly against the wall of the maze. As wild and sudden as this was, you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything.

Pietro noticed you two were gone for a really long time. He was beginning to get concerned, and pulled out his phone ready to call one of you. Turns out he didn’t need to. 

You two came out of the maze, only you weren’t alone. You and Wanda each had a security guard holding your arm. After you two were out of the maze completely, they let you go and walked off. It was then that Pietro noticed both of your disheveled states. And he could swear he saw two or three hickeys forming on your neck.

“No you didn’t-” He started, but you cut him off.

“Not a word.” Your hand found it’s way to Wanda’s as you guys walked towards the exit of the park, figuring it’d be bad Avengers press if you guys stayed any longer at this point. You had an awesome night anyway, and didn’t care if it ended a little early. Besides, you had a feeling you’d get to have some more...fun when you got back to the compound.

You didn’t notice Pietro high five Wanda’s free hand.

[nsfw-at-its-finest]

Can I request a bucky barnes x bottom!male/masc reader?

Maybe one where bucky kinda doesnt like the reader but sorta has a crush on them anyway

(he probably doesnt know what to do with his emotions poor boy :( )

Anyways maybe theyre in a argument and reader is kinda snarky

and bucky is like

you know what thats it lets kiss

so he slams him into the wall w a kiss

or whatever

and maybe something happens

or smth 😳

A/n: The person who sent in this request also requested neck kisses and bites, so who would deny such a thing? Not I. Sorry it’s shorter but I feel like Y/n a boss as bitch who gonna make Bucky work for it. 

Plot: Requested

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Male reader

Y/n: Your name

L/n: Last name

H/c: Hair color

E/c: Eye color

Warnings: Smut, arguing, cussing, hate/confused emotions foreplay? blow jobs, neck biting/marking, Bucky needs a hug man, kinda open ended about their relationship Word count: 1278

A known fact about Bucky Barnes was he the fact he was shit at emotions, which was to be expected after being in the hands of a terrorist organization for 70 years, but the fact still stood.

He was horrible with his emotions, rarely liked anyone, let alone got close to them, and preferred to be left to his solitude.

Other than Steve and Sam (Who was kinda his friend? Even Bucky wasn’t sure where they stood.)

There was only one other person who bothered the previous assassin, and that was Y/n L/n. A friend of Sam’s from the army who annoyed Bucky more than anyone he’d ever met.

He was loud, crude, snarky and just loved to piss the brunette off like it was some joke. He’d joined the team not long after Bucky had, and since then the two had been at each other’s throats.

All while Bucky despised the bastard, he had some rather… conflicting feelings for him. He’d brought them up to his best friend, who had only laughed and clasped his shoulder with a simple ‘that means you like him, Buck.’

Bucky had proceeded not to leave his room for three days, Steve called it an overreaction.

He avoided Y/n more after that, but every time he saw the H/c haired man he noticed new disturbing details. Like how his eyes seemed to shine when he laughed, and how his nose crinkled adorably when he tasted something he didn’t like.

Bucky hated it just as much as he hated the man his thoughts were constantly revolving around. He’d done relatively well at avoiding Y/n, leaving the room when he entered, avoiding missions he was on if he could, hell he even changed his training schedule do he wouldn’t have to face the man.

Yet here he was, faced by Y/n in the communal area at 3 in the god damn morning, his E/c eyes full of fury and determination as he cornered the former assassin.

“Why have you been avoiding me?” He questioned without hesitation, staring up at Bucky with furrowed eyebrows.

“I haven’t been avoiding you.” Bucky internally cringed at the horrible lie, resisting the urge to rub the back of his neck.

Y/n rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m not a damn idiot Barnes, I know when someone’s been ignoring me.” He replied smoothly, and damn it Bucky wished he could just jump through the window, but he’s still on thin ice with Tony for the last one.

Bucky opened his mouth to defend himself but was interrupted by the H/c haired menace.

“Listen I know you don’t like me, but you don’t have to be a pussy and hide every time I’m around.” His voice and words sparked irritation in Bucky, making his eyebrows furrow.

God, he wished Y/n would just shut his mouth for once. Before the soldier was even aware of his movements, he had the other man pinned against the wall, hands on either side of his head.

“Shut up.” Bucky grunted, before closing the gap between them and smashing their lips together. He heard Y/n make a minute sound before his hands came to slide up to rest on Bucky’s upper sides.

The white wolf dug his teeth into the smaller man’s bottom lip, tugging on it before his tongue delved into the other man’s mouth with a low growl. His lips Pulled away to brush down his jaw, biting sharply into the skin, before soothing the mark with a soft kiss.

A small keen left Y/n’s lips before he reluctantly pulled away, chest heaving as he breathed, looking up at Bucky with blown pupils.

“What happened to hating me?” He questioned; a snarky smile spread across his lips. Bucky let out a groan, rolling his eyes.

Bucky pressed his hand to Y/n’s shoulder and the man fell to his knees in beautiful submission, making the large man almost drool over the sight.

“Use your mouth for something good” Bucky rumbled out, his hand running soothingly through the man’s H/c locks.

Y/n’s E/c eyes glimmered with mischief as he licked his lips, Bucky’s eyes following the movement.

“You don’t like my smart mouth?” Y/n questioned, head cocking to the side in feigned innocence. Bucky bit back a sneer, tugging on his hair harshly.

“I’d rather you suck me off than be a smart ass.” He replied shortly, scowling down at the grinning man.

Y/n did a mock salute, before his hands began to run up Bucky’s calves, fingers tauntingly light in pressure.

His finger’s ghosted over the prominent bulge in Bucky’s pants, causing the dark-haired man to exhale loudly. Y/n glanced up, beaming with pride, which only caused another sharp tug at his hair.

His fingers expertly undid the buttons and pulled his trousers and boxers down in one motion, Bucky letting out a low hiss at the freedom his hard cock now had.

He glanced down to Y/n, (Who looked heavenly on his knees) smirking to himself at the way the H/c haired man licked his lips as his eyes trailed over his throbbing cock.

“Well doll, you gonna get to work?” Bucky lightly mocked, grip softening on his hair to show his playful intentions. His sharp blue eyes watched as Y/n squirmed under his gaze and at the pet name, soft pants leaving his lips.

Y/n leaned forward, his lips peppering kisses from the underside of his cock to the tip, his tongue poking out to give a small kitten lick to the slit. He whined in the back of his throat, eyes fluttering as he wrapped his lips around Bucky.

The man used his mouth skillfully, tongue running up the vein as he bobbed his head rhythmically.

Bucky let out low groans, his head tipping back with a thump against the wall. His fingers curled into Y/n’s scalp, only seeming to spur him on.

Bucky knew damn well he was going to have a hard time seeing Y/n the same after this, but he was also one stubborn bastard and was adamantly telling himself this was hate fucking. (It wasn’t.)

His silver eyes fluttered as soft pants left his lips, hips bucking forward when Y/n brought his hand up to cup his balls.

Bucky forced his eyes to open as he looked down at the man on his knees, a pathetic grunt leaving his lips at the sight.

Y/n’s hair was a wreck, lips stretched around his length with spit sliding down his chin. He was palming himself through his pants, barely audible, airy moans leaving his stretched mouth.

Bucky came with a cry of pleasure, eyes scrunching up as he tugged roughly on the smaller man’s hair, thrusting his hips crazily as his orgasm washed over him.

He opened his eyes to see Y/n pull off with a ‘pop’ and lick his lips greedily to catch any cum that may have fell, and Jesus, Bucky could’ve cum again just from that.

The smaller man stood up with grace, giving Bucky that endearing stupid grin that made his heart do summersaults.

“Talk to me when you figure your shit out Barnes.” He pat Bucky’s shoulder, hand staying there far too long for it to only be friendly.

Bucky could only watch with a dumb founded expression as Y/n sauntered away, leaving Bucky alone in the common room imagining what else that mouth could do.

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

Safe Haven Feels

Pairing: Gally x Reader

Rated: mature 18+ only! Smut and fluff!

Requested by: Anon

“Hello:))) just wondering if you could do one with Gally x reader. Maybe with the prompts: 65 and 93? Prehaps were they confess their feelings 7n the safe heaven, so fluff and smut..”

Prompt 65: “How do you think it feels?”

Prompt 93: “I’m glad I have you.”

We finally made it. All that time running, hiding, and fighting WCKD. We finally took them down and made it to the safe haven Vince has been on about. Honestly the place was beautiful. The most beautiful thing I can ever remember seeing. It was an island surrounded by a white beach and crystal blue water. The once undisturbed sands now had all of the immunes moving around on it. Setting up makeshift huts and bringing the supplies from the boat.

“Watch’s thinking about?” The voice asked next to my ear.

I jumped nearly coming out of my skin. I whipped around to see Gally trying to hold back a laugh as he held a large box of supplies.

“You scared the shit out of me.” I huffed.

“I know that’s what I was going for.” He chuckled.

“You’re an ass” I scolded him but couldn’t help the smile on my face.

“Yea, yea I know. Come on all hands on deck. You can admire the view later.” Gally said nudging me with his arm.

I nodded then followed him back to the ship. With every hand we hand helping it only took one day to get all the supplies off the ship. People were moving onto making the huts and other buildings we would need. When the sun finally set Vince called for a break. We worked hard enough today.

I sat around the fire with Gally on one side and Brenda on the other. I was halfway through my food when Brenda nudged me. I glanced up at her. She nodded for me to move closer.

“I haven’t seen things progress yet.” She said quietly.

I raised a confused brow at her. She smiled then leaned back to look over my shoulder. I followed her eyes to land on Gally. I instantly knew what she meant.

“We just kicked WCKD’s ass and just got to the safe haven. Give me time to settle in.” I whispered.

“Excuses” she whispered back.

“What?” I asked completely stunned.

“You’re just gonna keep giving excuses. After this one it’ll be you’re too busy helping set things up. Then you’ll be too busy with whatever job you’re given. It’ll just keep going on and on.” Brenda rolled her eyes.

“No it won’t I just need to get settled first is all.” I said softly trying not to pout from her words.

“Yea I’m sure” Brenda chuckled dryly and shook her head.

I went back to my original seat then glance beside me at Gally. He was finished with his food and now talking animatedly with Minho and Fry. I knew Brenda was right. I was just making excuses because I’m scared. What if I tell him and he laughs in my face? I don’t really think that will happen but it could. I sighed tilting my head up to look at the sky. I was quickly looking back at the group as someone else nudged me. This time it was Gally.

“You alright?” He asked softly leaning closer.

I felt the heat instantly rise to my cheeks.

“Yea” I squeaked.

I jumped from my seat discarding my food then putting some distance between me and the group of immunes. I’m so ridiculous. For years I was around Gally with no problem then he died, then he was alive, then Brenda had to bring my feelings into the light and now I’m a mess.

“(Y/N)?” Gally’s voice instantly had me frozen.

“You sure you’re alright?” He asked as he slowly walked closer.

“Fine” I cleared my throat.

“I’m fine” I smiled weakly up at him.

“You’re not a very good liar.” He smiled down at me.

“I know” I sighed then fell onto the grass.

I laid back staring up at the sky as I heard Gally chuckle. I kept my eyes on the stars as I felt him laying beside me in the grass.

“This place is beautiful isn’t it?” He asked softly.

“Yes it it” I whispered.

“You going to tell me what’s bothering you?” He asked suddenly keeping his eyes trained upwards.

“It’s not important. We don’t talk about this kinda stuff.” I said softly.

“Why don’t we?” I felt his head turn to look at me.

I kept my eyes on the sky.

“Cause I’m one of the guys right?” I asked a little colder than I intended.

“Well yea but what’s that have to do with anything?” He chuckled lightly.

I finally turned my head to look at him.

“How do you think if feels? To be looked at as just one of the guys when I want to be looked at differently.” I asked him seriously.

He looked taken aback for a moment.

“Differently how?” He asked in confusion.

I groaned feeling completely embarrassed.

“I don’t want you to look at me as one of the guys. I want you to look at me as someone you like.” I said softly.

“I do like you.” He said simply.

“No, I mean someone you see more than a friend.” I corrected.

Gally chuckled turning to lay on his side completely facing me.

“(Y/N), I know what you meant. I’m saying I do like you as more than a friend. I have since day one.” He smiled down at me.

“Wait, what?” I asked propping myself up on my elbows to look down at him.

“I always treated you as I one of the guys because before anything else you’re my friend and a damn good friend at that. But how could I not like a pretty girl who didn’t mind to get her hands dirty and can kick almost anyone’s ass? You may be one of the guys but you’re still the only girl I’ve ever had feelings for.” Gally said softly as he picked at the grass.

I was stunned. I had no words. Did he really mean that? Before I could think of anything to say Gally was getting to his feet. I just laid on the grass in shock looking up at him. He chuckled at the sight of me then grabbed my arms pulling me to my feet as well. He glanced over his shoulder at the group still around the fire. He placed his hand against my back then nodded for me to walk with him.

“Did you really mean all that?” I asked softly as I watched my feet.

“Of course. I’m so glad I have you even if it’s just as a friend. Although I’d love it more if you wanted to be more than friends.” He chuckled softly.

I stopped walking suddenly making Gally stumble slightly then turn to face me.

“That’s all I’ve wanted since I met you in the Glade.” I whispered.

Everything that was happening around us stopped the moment I felt Gally’s lips against mine. The sound of the ocean, the wind through the grass and trees, the loud chatter back at the fire all stopped. My eyes fluttered closed as I gripped the front of his shirt tightly like he might disappear. My back was suddenly against a tree making me realize we had made it to the tree line far from the other immunes.

I pushed Gally back then gestured for him to lay down. Once he was back on the grass I climbed onto his lap. I continued our heated kiss until his hands skimmed under my shirt. Just the feeling of his bare hands against my skin set me on fire. I sat back quickly pulling my shirt over my head. He sat up to do the same not taking his eyes off me. I kissed him again as his hands roamed my back. I felt him fiddle with the clasp of my bra for a moment then it unclipped. He tossed it to the side. I groaned softly as his hands gently caressed me.

I stood up suddenly taking my shorts of quickly. I rid him of his shorts as well before he had the chance to do it himself. My body was on fire and I couldn’t wait any longer. He groaned the moment I grabbed him with my hand. I sat back down then kissed him as I moved to sit back on him. The slow deep groan that left his lips was the most incredible sound I’d ever heard. His hands instantly grabbed my hips as I started to move against him.

“(Y/N)” he whispered as he grabbed my head and pulled me down to him.

He held my body against him as I continued to move. He kissed my lips, my forehead, my cheeks, my temple, and my neck. Anywhere he could reach he would kiss. His grip on me tightened as I moved faster. I could feel the foreign feeling grow in the pit of my stomach. I grasped as I clutched at Gally’s shoulders.

Just as I was about to scream for the mounting pressure Gally captured my lips with his muffling the sound as everything unraveled.

“Fuck” Gally gasped as his body tensed.

I collapsed on top of him breathing heavily. Gally hugged me to him then kissed the top of my head.

“As much as I hate to we should probably get back to the others.” He panted.

“Yea, you’re right.” I breathed out as I slowly got up.

We both got dressed slowly. Gally kept interrupting me by kissing different parts of my exposed flesh. I had to swat him away while chuckling so I could finish putting my clothes on. Once we were both dressed we made our way back to the camp. The first person to notice us was of course Brenda.

“Glad to see you gave up on those excuses.” She said with a mischievous smile.

“Yea, we talked it out.” I said shrugging.

“Mhm, looks like you did more than talk.” She laughed.

“What?” I asked in instant panic.

With a huge shit eating grin Brenda stepped forward picking a few pieces of grass and leaves from both mine and Gally’s hair.

“Your shirt is also on backwards.” She pointed to Gally with her smile still in place.

“Night you two.” She added then walked away.

“How does she do that?” Gally grumbled as he quickly fixed his shirt.

“No clue” I huffed out a laugh.

—

[breadqueen95]

Dress - Bucky Barnes

bucky barnes x fem!reader

wc: 5k

plot: bucky and y/n’s relationship is new, and they don’t want to share with their friends just yet. but something as simple as a dress can change anyone’s mind, even the winter soldier. 

content warnings: kissing. physical affection. flirting. allusions to sex. drinking. being drunk. language. bucky being a flirt. 

a/n: this is for @natasha-romancff and her taylor swift writing challenge! it took me awhile, but i’ve had a ton of fun writing this. so many bucky fics are angsty, and rightly so the man has some TRAUMA. but for my first bucky fic, based on dress by taylor swift, i wanted something happier for him 

***

Damn. That was a lot of leg.

“I don’t know,” you muttered as you stared into the mirror, “aren’t these things…a little classier than this?”

“Uh…have you met Tony Stark?” Natasha grumbled as she continued to scroll through her phone. “The man has never been classy a day in his life.”

“Well I know he isn’t, but fancy people show up to these things. I just don’t want to embarrass myself.” You were currently standing in front of the full-length mirror in Wanda’s room, staring at the reflection of a woman who didn’t quite look like you.

But it was you, wasn’t it? It was just…that you was wearing a very short, very sexy red cocktail dress. The sweetheart neckline was a nice touch, but the back was completely open. And that hemline? Definitely hiked way up past your knees.

“Y/n, relax,” Wanda reassured in her lilting accent, “sure, the dress is a little…spicier…than you’re used to, but it’s in a good way.”

“I’m pretty sure every single person would be able to tell I spend my days in tactical gear. God, I’m not sure I even know how to walk in heels this high!”

Heaving a dramatic sigh, Natasha threw her phone down and looked at you in the mirror. Her eyebrows were raised, and she was giving you her usual ‘don’t give me that shit’ look. It nearly had you shaking in your very strappy black heels.

“Are you kidding me, y/n? I’ve seen you strut in enough fancy parties during undercover missions to know that you’ve got this.”

“Yeah,” Wanda scoffed as she took a sip of red wine from her glass, “all she’s nervous about is what Bucky will think.”

Rolling your eyes, you tried to hide how much that sentence affected you.

“C’mon, Wanda. You know Bucky and I are just friends.”

“Do friends undress each other with their eyes whenever they’re in the same room?”

Damn it. Damn Wanda and her stupid perceptiveness.

“You’re reading too much into it, Wanda.” She just laughed at you, acting like she knew so much better.

What you knew and wasn’t ready to admit to your two best friends, was that she was right on the money.

Bucky Barnes, the infamous Winter Soldier, your favorite person in the entire world, was now your boyfriend. He had been for a few weeks now. The two of you were insanely private people. Hell, it had been years before the two of you had finally learned everything about each other. Once you had gotten past the walls the other had so carefully crafted, well…

At that point you were in love.

But the others didn’t need to know that, not yet at least. The Avengers were a family, your family. They were really the only true family you’d ever had. But Bucky…Bucky was finally yours. And you were his. You didn’t think it was crazy to just want to enjoy that, just the two of you, without everyone else sharing their jokes and opinions just yet. They did it out of love, you both knew that, but you just wanted him all to yourself.

As you looked back at your reflection in the mirror, you took a minute to really consider what Bucky’s reaction might be. He had the best poker face in the room no matter who he was with, but you knew him well enough to know how he was feeling just based on his eyes. He’d always said how much he loved red on you, and he adored every and any excuse to touch your skin. Those steel blue eyes of his would absolutely burn once he saw you in this dress.

And fuck, that was something you really wanted to see.

“Well, if you aren’t going to wear that dress, you better pick something else,” Nat said, jerking you from your fantasies, “we need to be there in twenty minutes, and we all need to touch up our makeup.”

“Actually…I think I’ll wear it,” you said confidently, trying to hide your grin as you ran your hands down the silky fabric.

What you didn’t see was Natasha and Wanda sharing a secret smirk behind you, like they’d known what you’d do the whole time.

***

Six weeks ago, everything had changed for you and Bucky.

You’d known how you felt for a long time. Bucky Barnes, despite his past, was the kind of man anyone could fall in love with. He was sincere, kind, generous, witty…everything you’d ever wanted in a partner. He had been your best friend for even longer.

It had been a long time before you could even admit your feelings to yourself, let alone to him. After everything the two of you had been through, who had the time and mental capacity for romance? It just didn’t seem important. You just chalked up your feelings to being such close friends. All you wanted was to be near him, even if you just sat in silence doing different things. Just being in the same room as Bucky brought you a sort of peace you’d never had before. Whenever he touched you, even if it was just a brief hug or brushing your back to get past you, your skin erupted into goosebumps. But that was just because physical touch was still foreign to you, right?

And his smile. God, his wonderful smile…

Bucky didn’t smile much. He hid behind a mask of stoicism, a remnant from the trauma of his horrible history as the Winter Soldier. Showing any sort of emotion, especially happiness, was hard for him. But when he finally let himself smile? It was the most beautiful thing you’d ever see.        

It took several sleepless nights wrestling with those confusing feelings to figure it out. You didn’t just see Bucky as your best friend. You had it bad. Not just “oh my god he’s so handsome” bad, like the “I would take a bullet for you I’m so in love” bad. That revelation? It left you euphoric. It also left you scared.

Because you were so sure Bucky didn’t feel the same. And that thought was like a knife to the heart every time it flashed through your mind.

So you kept it to yourself. You tried to keep things as normal as possible, but your heart kept fluttering whenever he walked into a room. Being so close to Bucky meant you confided in each other about pretty much everything, and he knew you well enough to know you were hiding something.

It all exploded on a Tuesday night in the compound.

Tuesdays were your movie nights. Bucky had a lot of pop culture to catch up on, so on this night every week he would come by your room to watch a movie. It was a weekly tradition that kind of started by accident. You were shocked he still hadn’t made time to watch Lord of the Rings, so you forced him onto your couch with popcorn and The Fellowship of the Ring. He loved it so much, and immediately asked if you guys could watch The Two Towers the next week. How could you say no to him?

Tonight, you were watching 13 Going on 30. It was your all-time favorite romcom, and you figured you could both use a break from all the action and fantasy movies you’d been cycling through. Something with a happy ending was worth indulging in.

“Does that Matt guy look like Banner to you? Or is it just me?” Bucky asked through a mouthful of popcorn.

“Heh, maybe a little,” you said, “Give or take a few years.” He laughed at that, and you forced yourself to laugh quietly. You wanted to blurt out your feelings every time you looked at Bucky, so you’d gotten quieter and quieter every time you spent time with him. It was an awful reaction, and you knew he noticed. But it was better than losing his friendship, right?

After that awful and painfully obvious forced laugh, Bucky let out a huge sigh and paused the movie. He set the bowl of popcorn down on the coffee table in front of the couch, then turned to face you. Exasperation and hurt glimmered in his eyes.

“Y/n, what the fuck is going on with you?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“Oh come on, don’t give me that,” he said sharply, “I know you better than anyone, and I know for a fact there’s something you’re not telling me. Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No, god no!” You exclaimed.

“Well it must be something I did, because you’ve never been this quiet around me and it keeps getting worse. I hate it, and I want to know what I did so I can fix it.”

“Bucky, I’m serious, it’s nothing you did—”

“Then why? Why are you shutting me out?” He cut you off angrily, arms thrown wide. “You’re my best friend, I just don’t get why—”

“I don’t want you like a best friend, Bucky!” Your eyes went wide as the words flew from your lips. In the most comical way, you clapped your hand over your mouth as if you could stop the words that had already been said. Bucky’s eyes narrowed in confusion.

Oh fuck. He didn’t get it. Curse him and his old man ways.

“What does that even mean, Y/n? Are you saying you don’t want me around anymore?”

“Bucky, of course not. God, I would never want that. Never in a million years.”

“Then you better explain, because if you haven’t noticed, I’m over 100 years old. I need a little help here.”

“It means, uh…um,” you stuttered, wringing your hands together. “Is there any chance we can just forget I said that?”

“Nope, not a chance.”

“It means…it means that I care about you. As more than a friend.”

His entire face seemed to crinkle as he processed that. If you weren’t freaking out, you’d be obsessing over how damn cute it made him look. Then his eyes got wide as he began to make the connection. Your stomach nearly fell out of your ass as his eyes lifted again to meet yours.

“I…I think I know what you’re saying,” he nearly whispered, “I just need you to get real specific real fast, because I’m not about to say anything until I know exactly what you mean.”

“It means I’m in love with you, okay?” You burst out. Even through your mortification, there was a sudden sense of relief. A secret as big as that had definitely been weighing you down. Now that it was out there, that was one less thing you had to worry about.

His eyes grew even wider. How that was possible, you didn’t even know. That beautiful mouth of his began to turn up into a small smile as he gazed softly at you.

“You’re in love with me?” He asked, his smile getting wider with each passing second.

“What, you need it carved into stone or something?” You couldn’t help but sass him. Did you fucking stutter?

“No, it’s just…I never thought you’d feel that way about me.”

“Well, clearly I do. So you – wait, you mean you’ve thought about this before?”

“Of course I have,” he said as he shrugged, “I’ve been in love with you for two years now, how could I not think about it?”

You were instantly filled with warmth and pure bliss. In all your obsessing over your own feelings, you’d never allowed yourself to consider that he might feel the same about you. It just didn’t seem possible.

“I’m sorry,” you burst out, holding a hand up, “you’re telling me you’ve been into me for two years and didn’t say anything?”

“Why didn’t you?” He shot back, inching closer to you.

“Because you’re my best friend. I didn’t want to lose you because of stupid feelings I have.”

“But…I have those same ‘stupid feelings’ for you. So can we just cut the whole act and get on with it?” Bucky brought a hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing along your skin so gently.

“Uh…um…get on with what?”

“Well I’d kinda like to kiss you, if you’re cool with it.”

“Bucky Barnes did you just use current slang to ask if you could kiss me?” You didn’t move an inch as his face moved right in front of yours, breath intermingling as you gazed into each other’s eyes. God, was this really happening?

“Yeah, guess your lessons worked,” he murmured.

“Well you better kiss me, then.”

As soon as your lips met, it was like coming home.

***

That memory, your favorite memory, replayed in your head as the three of you stepped into the elevator. Nat and Wanda were happily chatting about who would be there, what kind of antics Tony would cook up tonight, if there would be music we could actually dance to. You know, normal party things.

All you could think about was how long you had to stay until you could sneak off with your boyfriend.

You were so happy Wanda and Natasha had convinced you to wear this dress. When you’d first put it on, the difference from your normal look was so jarring that it took you a few minutes to get used to it. But now that you had, now that you felt the silky fabric shifting against your skin as you moved, now that you saw how dangerously long your legs looked in these heels…

Damn, you felt sexy.

And that sexy feeling? It made you want Bucky’s hands all over you.

But this was a party. A party thrown by Tony Stark, one of the most perceptive and observant people you’d ever met. If you left too soon, if he thought you weren’t “having enough fun”, he’d be more than a little upset. So you had to stay, drink, mingle, maybe dance a little…and then, maybe later, you could go do what you actually wanted.

The elevator pinged, indicating you had reached the topmost floor of the compound. This floor was home to a huge communal space, often used for just hanging out with the team. But on nights like tonight, Tony went all out and turned the space into something that resembled…a club?

The three of you stepped out into the massive room, upbeat music already blasting from the speakers. Typical Tony – he never really outgrew his love for dancing and parties. The bass thrummed through your body, making you want to move to the music. The lights were dim, but you could still tell who was around. It looked like you were some of the last members of the team to arrive. There was a huge bar off to the side, and Natasha headed that way right away. You turned to ask Wanda if she wanted to follow Nat, but she was already making a beeline for Vision. Smiling, you just turned right back around to follow Natasha. A drink sounded pretty good right now.

As you made your way to the bar, you felt more than a few pairs of eyes on you as you walked. You sneakily looked around as you went, noticing men and women watching you with admiration, and dare you say it, longing. As someone whose job was to blend in with the background all the time, this was a different and slightly addictive feeling. You leaned on the bar next to Nat right as the bartender slid her drink over to her.

“Straight whiskey tonight? Damn, going hard.” You quipped.

“Hey now, you know I can handle my liquor. It’s you we need to watch out for, you lightweight.”

Laughing, you scanned the party guests, looking for the one person you wanted to see. Tony had had arm around Pepper’s waist, both laughing at something Rhodey had said. Bruce lingered around them, drink in hand and looking a little nervous, but still happy to be included. Wanda and Vision were sitting quietly on one of the couches, both looking absolutely smitten with each other. Scott Lang, one of the newest additions, was busting some moves, while Peter Parker laughed as he watched. Thor, who was visiting from Asgard, laughed boisterously as he watched various guests try to lift his hammer. You couldn’t help the smile growing on your face. You loved these people so much.

Then, you saw him.

Bucky was with Sam and Steve, as usual. But even as Sam and Steve were talking animatedly next to him, those gorgeous blue eyes of his were glued to you. There was a kind of intensity in them you hadn’t seen before. Your breath whooshed from you body as he grinned at you. Trying to maintain the suggestive image your dress gave you, you managed to send a flirtatious smile his way, then turned back around to face the bar. Leaning against the counter, you knew he’d get an eyeful of your bare back. God, this was fun.

The bartender finally made his way over to you, and you ordered two tequila shots.

Nat turned to you, one eyebrow arched in surprise as she asked, “And you say I’m going hard? You can’t just down two shots right away, babe.”

“I’m not doing two shots; you think I’m stupid?” The bartender slid the shots over to you along with two lime wedges. “One is clearly for you.”

Unable to hold back a laugh, Natasha put her arm around your shoulders and pulled you into her side as she said, “Why the fuck not, let’s do it.” The two of you went through the process: salt, shot, lime. You couldn’t help but wince as you downed the harsh liquor. Of all the shots in the world, tequila probably tasted the worst. The only reason you kept going for it was the warmth it traced down your body, and you felt your muscles begin to loosen up.

“Two more,” you called over to the bartender.

“Uh, no,” Natasha shot at you, grabbing her whiskey, and pushing off the bar, “I’m good with my top shelf shit, you keep going after that gasoline if you want but I’m out.”

“C’mon, Nat,” you called out, “what am I gonna do with two shots?”

“I’m sure you’ll find someone else, babe.” She said with a wave over her shoulder.

Sighing, you turned back to the ridiculously pretty bar (seriously, how much had Tony paid for this thing?). Who else would help you look cool and sexy at a bar for your secret boyfriend?

Okay, that was the cringiest thought you’d ever had. Gross.

As the bartender slid the tequila in front of you, you steeled yourself for the nastiness that was about to happen.

“Fuck, I didn’t think this through,” you mumbled.

“Yeah, you tend to do that,” a deep voice answered on your right. Instead of being the slightest bit surprised, you couldn’t help but smile. You’d know that voice anywhere.

“Something I can do for you, Barnes?” You looked up at him from under your lashes.

“Well, it looks like you’ve got an extra shot there. Thought I could bail you out.”

“Is that all?”

Bucky shifted so that your arms were just barely touching. His hand was right next to yours, and you reached out with your pinky to lightly brush his.

“Doll, you have the gall to show up in that dress and ask what I want as if you don’t already know?”

“Sorry Buck, I’m a little slow, must be the tequila. You should probably be a little clearer.”

Putting on quite the show of reaching for one of the shots, his mouth somehow ended up right next to your ear.

“I want you.”

It was lucky everyone was so distracted and couldn’t see how you shuddered at his words. Trying to maintain brain function, you managed to take the shot with him. You were now fully facing each other. He was wearing the cockiest smirk you’d ever seen, one that would put Tony Stark to shame. You couldn’t help but respond with that same energy despite the jitteriness his three little words had reduced you to.

“Well why don’t you—”

“Hello, my friends!” A booming voice sounded between you as Thor threw a huge arm over each of you. Bucky, with his stupid super soldier strength, didn’t really have a reaction to it. You, on the other hand, stumbled a little under the weight and force of it. “It’s so good to be back with you tiny humans.”

Was…was he slurring his words?

“Thor…are you drunk right now?”

He simply laughed in response. Well, that answered that.

“Of course I am, tiny person! It can’t be a party without good Asgardian wine.”

“Wait…you have literal god wine?” Bucky, who had a look of vague irritation on his face up to this point, now looked interested. Maybe even a little excited?

“Of course, metal appendage.”

“Dude, you can’t just call Bucky ‘metal appendage’—”

“He can if he lets me have some,” Bucky interrupted.

“We have a bargain!” Thor slapped Bucky on the back before scurrying back over to where he had come from, probably to get the wine he had promised.

“Bucky, you can’t even get drunk,” you hissed, “what exactly is the point of this?”

“Since everything happened, I haven’t found any alcohol strong enough to get me drunk. I figure god wine is worth a shot.”

“Bucky—”

“When I kiss you against a wall later, I wanna be a little tipsy,” he whispered in your ear, “that cool with you?”

Unable to keep yourself from smiling again, you nodded as Thor sauntered back over. Ever since that moment a few weeks ago, right before he kissed you for the first time, asking “is that cool with you?” had become your thing.

And the idea of Bucky kissing you against a wall? Yeah, that sounded pretty good.

***

As it turns out, Asgardian wine is just as potent as Thor had promised.

For the first time in over seventy years, Bucky Barnes was certifiably drunk. It made him feel like the Bucky from all those years ago, and it was the most incredible thing. Here he was, over 100 years old, partying, and all his favorite people were here.

Including his ridiculously hot girlfriend.

Even as they both flitted around the party, Bucky and y/n still found each other’s eyes, even from across the room. They would send winks, smiles, even funny faces. All he wanted to do was be right next to her, talk and dance with her all night…

But they had agreed. They wanted to keep their relationship a secret for now, keep the attention off of them for a bit while they got to know each other in this new way.

But god damn, that dress.

Y/n in red was…indescribable. It didn’t matter what she wore, she was always the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. But in red? In this dress?

She was breathtaking.

“Buck, you breathing?”

A hand waved in front of his face, snapping Bucky’s attention back to the people around him from Y/n’s back. He had been imagining putting his hands all over that back later and had gotten more than a little mesmerized. He managed to get his eyes to refocus, finding a drunk Sam smirking right next to him and an even drunker Steve dancing next to him. But what Steve was doing couldn’t really be called ‘dancing’ per say…more like an aggressive wiggle.

“Why wouldn’t I be breathing?” Of all the things he could’ve said to get Sam’s attention off of him, that wasn’t it.

“Uh, probably because the girl you’re in love with decided to show up and show off tonight? Pretty sure you’re drooling, man.”

Despite himself, Bucky slapped a hand across his mouth, only reducing Sam to wheezing laughter. Knowing he had been caught, he rolled his eyes and grimaced a little. Of all the people to catch him, he wished it hadn’t been Sam.

“I wasn’t…staring… at y/n, I just never see her dressed up is all.”

“I never said anything about the girl being y/n.”

“…fuck.”

“LANGUAGE,” Steve yelled out, pointing a finger at his two friends before returning to his shimmying.

Turning back to him, Sam added, “Just go be with her, Buck. You’re not fooling anyone, and neither is she.”

“We’re that obvious?”

“A few weeks ago you’d at least try to hide it. Now I’m surprised you’re not jumping each other’s bones right here right now.”

“Point taken,” Bucky said, lightly slapping Sam’s shoulder before power walking over to his girl.

***

“Nat, if you don’t stop asking about Bucky and I’s relationship, I’m going to kick you,” you called over the music before taking another swig from your glass. It was no Asgardian wine, but the human stuff wasn’t half bad in your opinion. It wasn’t like you could drink the god shit, anyway. If you had even one sip, you’d be swinging from the ceiling like Miley fucking Cyrus. You were pretty drunk as it was.

“Okay, fine,” she said with a shrug as she took a sip of her whiskey, still as calm and collected as ever. “You’re almost as drunk as he is, you’ll be talking soon enough.”

“Oh? Is that your spy master plan?”

Natasha was still looking as unbothered as ever, but as she looked across the room over your shoulder, her face split into a savage grin.

“It was, but it looks like I might not need it.”

“What do you me—”

Your words were cut off as a large, warm hand enclosed around yours. Whirling around, you were suddenly face to face with the man himself. Bucky was clearly having a good time. His mouth was relaxed into the cutest smile you’d ever seen him wear, and he moved without his normal stiffness and intensity. He threaded your fingers together, smiling down at you with so much love it was a wonder Nat hadn’t said anything yet.

Looking back in front of you, ready to explain yourself, you only found empty air. Guess she’d seen all she needed to, but honestly, you really didn’t care. All you’d wanted the whole night was to be exactly where you were right now; hand in hand with the man you loved.

“We’re just kidding ourselves, doll,” Bucky called next to your ear, “Sam said we’ve been pretty obvious.”

“Nat said the same,” you answered with a sheepish smile, “kind of hard to keep my face under control when you’ve got that leather jacket on.”

“You’re blaming me?” He asked with mock indignation. “You’re the one who looks,” he gestured wildly to your whole body, “like that!”

Trying ignore the heat spreading over your cheeks, you shot back, “Like what?”

“Like the most…” he screwed his face up in the most adorable way as he searched for words, “like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” As the last few words tumbled out of his mouth, he gazed at you with such a softness you almost melted right into the floor.

“Wanna get out of here?” You asked, finally giving up the game. It was pointless, really. Now, all you wanted to do was for your boyfriend to keep his promise and kiss you against a wall.

Wrapping an arm around your waist, he answered, “Absolutely.” Without looking at a single soul, the two of you began walking as quickly as you could for the exit. You and Bucky were both leaning on each other a bit, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Stepping out into the light of the hallway, you blinked as your eyes adjusted after the dark room you’d spent the last few hours in. Bucky led you until you were right in front of the elevator, and he lazily pressed the button to go up. There was tension in the air between you, like a thread that was being pulled. Biting your lip, you stared at the doors in front of you. You knew if you so much as looked at the man next to you, you’d jump him right then and there.

The shining doors slid open, and the pair of you walked in, his strong arm still around your waist. His grip wasn’t loose in any sense of the word. Bucky kept you right next to him, even as your legs wanted to drift all over the place. You pressed the button for the residential floor.

As soon as those doors slid shut, that thread of tension snapped.

Bucky whirled you to face him, then walked you backward until you were pressed against the wall of the elevator.

“I promised I’d kiss you against the wall, didn’t I?”

He didn’t even wait for a response. His mouth was on yours in an instant, lips moving together like a dance. The kiss was slow and unhurried. You tried to bring him closer, linking your hands behind his neck and pressing yourself to him. Instead of responding in kind, he unwound your arms from around him and pinned them above your head.

Oh damn.

Okay.

No complaints here.

“You’ve been teasin’ me all night just by wearing that dress, sweetheart,” he murmured in between the kisses he trailed down your jaw, “I think it’s my turn.”

“Would it change your mind knowing I only wore this dress so you could take it off?”

The heat that bloomed in those blue eyes of his was unmistakable. As the doors opened on your floor, he swept you up into his arms and began to walk purposefully to his apartment. All the while, he kept that signature cocky smirk of his you’d come to adore.

“Bucky?” You asked once he’d walked into his unit.

“That sentence was the single most attractive thing you’ve ever said,” he murmured as he set you down. Even still, he kept you pressed against him. “But nah, I’m a patient guy. I think I’ll take my time.” He followed this by resuming his slow and sensual kisses, and you couldn’t help but melt into them.

“I love you,” you whispered against his lips.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that, doll. I love you too.”

***