#i haven’t been drawing as much these months. must continue

[transmasc-totoro]

I have “the Killer Angels” brain rot I fear

[stonesylove]

Summary: Alessandra and Tom met on a casual night out in Berlin while he's filming the prequel of the hunger games, both of them are down for a little three month affair but what if they want a little bit more.

social media au

A night out in Berlin pt.2

Our first conversation

Chapter 1 - Chapter 3

Alessandra woke up and as normal 22 year old, took her phone to check her social media after one of the best nights out she ever had, she remembered some parts of the night but the others felt like a distant memory; she opened up Instagram to see and she had a new verified follower, someone called “Tom Blyth” she knew a lot of Tom’s but not a single one was famous so when Alessandra touch his profile pic and went to his profile she got hit whit the memory of the tall man with a buzz cut, she couldn’t believe that she fooled around with an actor in a random club in a night out.

“GIULIANA COME HERE” she screamed calling her best friend to tell her the crazy news, Giuliana and Alessandra have been best friend since they were 3 years old, they met in a little ballet academy in Naples, both have dreamed of dancing around the world and they ended up living together in Berlin and dancing for Staatsballett; Alessandra heard the steps coming closer and then she saw her door being open by her friend.

“Girl it’s 8 am, stop screaming” Giuliana said, “shut up and listen to me, remember last night when I got lost from you guys?” Alessandra asked thrilled to tell the whole story, her friend nodded so she can continue with the story, “Well I ended up dancing and making out with this cute tall man and I guess at some point I had to tell him my ig because now he’s following me” she said.

“I don’t see what’s the issue here” Giuliana said with a confused look, “HES A FUCKING BRITISH ACTOR” Alessandra screamed excited while her best friend was in completely shock, “you need to post a thirst trap right now” Giuli said with a playful look in her face, “I’m going to follow him up first and maybe I’ll post it later, I don’t know this is fucking wild” Alessandra said while opening up Instagram again to follow Tom.

Alessandra kept her day going without stressing too much about the topic, she knew he must be busy working on Germany or maybe he’s traveling with some friends so she wouldn’t want to distract him with a text but maybe it was a good idea to post a little selfie on her stories just to taste the waters.

Alessandra Di Maggio posted a story

Alessandra was walking with her friends to her class while she posted a pic she took some days ago that she felt would be cute enough to draw his attention, she felt like a little girl waiting for her crush to give her some attention and that made her feel so stupid because Alessandra knew that an actor would never lay his eyes on her and all that happened was just a drunken mistake, she locked her phone deciding she wouldn’t check Instagram for the day, Alessandra just didn’t want to get all in her head and get distracted during what’s really important.

The class was a success, she felt tired but at the same time she knew she had to be the best to get to the point she wants to be; Alessandra picked up her belongings and the walked out of the door waiting for her best friend to catch her up.

“So, have you checked Instagram? Did he even liked the story? Did he answered?” Giuliana said while catching Alessandra outside of the dance studio, “I literally posted and blocked my phone, I haven’t check it out” she said while trying to sound uninterested, “WELL DO IT BITCH“ her friend said while rising her voice. Alessandra took her phone out of her bag, she saw that she had a couple notifications but nothing special so she opened up Instagram to see that he liked her story and he sent a message.

Tom Blyth sent you a message 

Tom Blyth

Good morning Alessa with 4 s

Alessandra couldn’t believe that he send her a message, it was crazy for her because they were a little too drunk and she thought he wouldn’t remember her and also the way she screamed her Instagram handle, “Giuli he messaged me” Alessandra said a little bit shocked because she thought it meant nothing for him, “REPLY RIGHT NOW” Giuliana screamed.

Alessandra Di Maggio

hi Tom boy, thought you forgot about me

She send the message and block her phone again, Alessandra couldn’t believe she was doing that, texting him was a crazy scenario in her head, that type of stuff never happen to people like her so she wouldn’t keep any high hopes. Alessandra and Giuliana decided to grab dinner outside because contrary to popular believe ballerinas usually ate a lot; when they arrived home Alessandra didn’t check her phone since she replied the message and she wasn’t ready to do that yet, so she went to the bathroom took a long shower, got ready for bed and still was too scared to check it out. Alessandra laid down in her bed, she thought about going to sleep without checking her phone but the curiosity was eating her alive, so she took her phone out and opened Instagram.

Tom Blyth sent you a message 

Tom Blyth 

I would never forget about you Ale 😂

How are you? You never told me you were ballerina!!

Alessandra Di Maggio

are you a millennial?? What’s up with that emoji 💀

well you never told me that you were an actor so we are even 

Tom Blyth 

Being a millennial is okay, I’m a proud millennial 

How old are you?

if you don’t mind me asking 

Alessandra Di Maggio

I’m 22 and you Tom boy?

gonna be honest I was stalking your profile and I want to say that I don’t agree about riding horses but I’m 100% down to ride the cowboy

Tom Blyth 

I’m 27, so you’re an iPad kid???

You gotta be a little bit more creative if that’s the way you flirt but you don’t look bad in those leotards and thighs 

Alessandra Di Maggio

so you’re a grandpa???

I had to make the joke Tom, it was funny to me 🙄🙄🙄

Tom Blyth 

What if we play 21 questions so we can make other type of jokes funny girl 

Alessandra Di Maggio

did you google that??

but sure 

were where you born?

Tom Blyth 

You’re way too funny 🙄🙄

I’m from Birmingham and you?

What’s your fav color?

Alessandra Di Maggio

I’m from Naples, best part of Italy 

such a deep question 

light blue and yours ?

Tom Blyth 

Like the color of my eyes?

Dark purple, I think so 

What’s up with the caption on your la post??

Alessandra Di Maggio

That counts as one of your questions

A little bit lighter than yours British boy

It’s from a song called “JESUS IN BERLIN”

Are you here for pleasure or for work?

Tom Blyth 

I’m working on a Movie, i’ll be here for three months 

Are you a professional ballerina or is just a hobbie?

Alessandra Di Maggio

let’s hope your big movie doesn’t make a chaos in the city 

I’m a professional ballet dancer

okay, now we’re getting into the deeper questions 

Tom Blyth 

I can go deeper if you want funny girl 😏

They talked until like three in the morning until Alessandra felt asleep, both of them couldn’t believe how the conversation was flowing like they known each other for a while also but of them have the same sense of humor so it’s makes everything a little bit easier to get to know each other, Alessandra wasn’t sure if all the dirty jokes were real and he wanted all that but she wouldn’t mind a three month affair with an English boy, at the end they might never see each other again.

Tom Blyth posted a story 

This is what her if ig looks like 

[menofchaos]

Coco x Reader

Note: Hello, back with some Coco smut. That’s pretty much all it is, so warning now. This could be standalone or with this reader series. I hope everyone likes it! I also posted some drabble prompts if anyone is interested! Credit to the best for the gif @thesewickedhands

“Bitch, how are you still here? Your man has been giving you bedroom eyes all night!”

“I would’ve been in the back room. They must be into some freaky shit, drawing it out like that.”

It was approaching four months of Coco being sober. Everything was almost back to the way it was before he disappeared. Almost. After dealing with withdrawal symptoms, addiction triggers, Letty’s understandable anger and Coco’s long hours to fix the clubhouse, he finally earned his bottom rocker back. He sat at his kitchen table the night before, sewing the patch onto his leather with such a proud look, it made her emotional. To celebrate, Alvarez decided a party was in order to continue to try and make amends between charters. The clubhouse lot was overflowing with friends, family and some out of town charter members.

Coco was sitting at a folding table, playing cards with Angel, Gilly and Manny but he rarely looked away from her. She was standing with some ladies, who were teasing her about Coco’s intense gaze.

She had researched recovery in order to help Coco in any way she could. Relationships, especially in early recovery, were discouraged. Even though they had decided to be together and had barely spent a night apart, their sex life had been virtually nonexistent.

She knew tonight would be different. He caught her getting ready in the bathroom in a black lacy bra and thong set. He smirked and looked her over, leaning against the doorway to watch. He opted for just a tanktop under his kutte, his tattooed arms on display. His long hair was hanging over his shoulders in two braids. His eyes were clear and he was getting closer to his old physique every day.

“Dude, she’s not even paying attention to us.”

She laughed as she tore her eyes away from his long fingers, “Yes, I am. It’s been a while and he looks hot.”

Her phone buzzed in her back pocket and she pulled it out, acrylic nails tapping on the screen as she unlocked it.

El Coco 🥵😍 I can’t stop thinking about what you got under those shorts ma

Corazón I didn’t think you liked it, you didn’t even touch me 🥺

El Coco 🥵😍 I had to show up here tonight. If I touched you we wouldn’t have made it out the house

Corazón You still feel that way?

She excused herself from the girls and went up the clubhouse steps, glancing over her shoulder at him. She maneuvered her way through the busy space until she got to the bathroom. She closed the door and leaned against the wall, waiting.

Not five minutes later and the door opened, Coco squeezing through and closing the door behind him. He licked his lips, putting his hands on either side of her head.

“Hi,” she smiled sweetly, her eyes on his.

“You haven’t been drinking that much today,” he murmured, smirking when he noticed her hands behind her back.

“Neither have you,” she countered, her face tilted up to his.

He glanced at her lips, “I don’t wanna get too drunk. I wanna remember every sound I’m gonna force out of you.”

His blood boiled when he heard her breath hitch, “I wanna remember every thrust that forces a sound out of me.”

“Too bad you didn’t wear a skirt,” he pressed closer to her, trapping her between his body and the wall.

She flushed and smiled, “I was worried the bike vibrating would feel too good,” she admitted.

An evil smirk crossed his face, “You wet for me?” she nodded, holding his gaze, “I don’t have to stay much longer.”

She leaned in and pecked his lips, “I’m ready when you are,” she whispered against his mouth.

They separated when Gilly knocked on the door, grinning when they walked out together. She went back to the girls, dancing and doing a couple shots as he finished his game with the guys. She felt his eyes on her when he came inside, like an electrical current getting closer. Surrounded by people but he still felt like they were the only ones in the room. A private dance just for him.

“Just go home and fuck her already, bro.”

He glared at his drunken brother, who was smirking at Coco with an arm around his shoulders.

“You wasted?” he laughed.

Angel shook his head, grinning, “Nahhhh. Listen. We all know you wanna fuck her. You two are turning everyone on. Go home already.”

Coco pushed Angel back, shaking his head before heading over to her. He slipped behind her and touched her hips as she danced, smirking when she felt his chest against her back.

“Ready to go?” he murmured in her ear.

She turned in his arms and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. After they said their goodbyes, they met up by his bike. Coco handed her a helmet.

“Don’t cum on the bike unless I say,” he teased.

She laughed and held him tight as they drove home. He held her ankle, stroking her skin as they stopped at a red light. She rubbed his thighs, smirking against his shoulder when she felt him shiver. He pulled into the driveway and helped her off, kissing her as soon as they took their helmets off.

“I’ll meet you inside, gonna put the bike away,” he whispered.

“Any requests?” she smirked, tugging gently at his green scarf.

He smirked, “Don’t start without me. I don’t wanna miss a second of that ass.”

She kissed him again and headed for the door, giggling when he swatted at her ass. She headed into the bedroom and lit a few candles she had bought. She turned on some music, then set a pack of cigarettes and Coco’s rolling tray on his nightstand. She was grabbing some water from the kitchen when he came inside. His eyes lit up when he heard the music.

“It's like that?” he smirked.

She winked and crooked her finger as she walked backwards down the hall. He followed her and grabbed her waist, throwing her over his shoulder. She squealed, laughing as he dropped her on the bed. The water bottles rolled out of her hands as he leaned over her and kissed her hard, pressing her against the mattress. She held his cheeks, wrapping her legs around his waist as they started grinding against each other.

“I fucking miss you,” he breathed, lacing their fingers together and pinning her arms above her head.

“I miss you,” she squeezed his hands, untangling their legs to kick her boots off, “I didn’t cum on the bike.”

She gasped when his hand squeezed her throat, “Good girl,” he kissed her roughly. The friction felt good but he grunted in annoyance, his hand slipping between them to tug at her shorts, “You wore these on purpose.”

He locked eyes with her as he used one hand to pull her shorts down, “Maybe,” her chest heaved when he hooked a finger into the thin fabric of her thong and tugged it down. She pulled them off with her free hand, “You’re wearing too much.”

Coco growled and stood up, spreading her legs and quickly stripping his own clothes off. Her bright eyes moved up and down his body and he nodded at her, “Take it all off. Now.”

She sat up and pulled her shirt off, Coco squeezing her chest as soon as he was done with his boots. Her back arched, pushing her tits into his warm hands as she unclipped her bra. He groaned and kissed her tattooed chest, sucking her skin.

She tossed her bra off the bed, gasping when his teeth grazed her nipple, dark eyes on hers while he flickered his tongue against it. She couldn’t look away from him as he kissed down her body. He smoothed his hands up the backs of her thighs, pinning them to her chest, “I’m fuckin’ starving.”

Coco ate her just like a starving man. His crooked nose glistened as he groaned against her wetness. She writhed under his tongue, gripping the sheets as he brought her closer and closer to the edge. He pulled back and slapped her clit, smirking when she flinched and moaned his name. Her legs hooked over his shoulders, one hand on her stomach as he added his fingers. Her hips rocked with his fingers’ thrusts, his name falling from her lips over and over. She came twice before he gave her a reprieve, kissing her inner thigh.

“Fuckin…forgot how much you love eating pussy,” she laughed breathlessly.

An evil smirk crossed his face, “I ain��t done, ma. Just don’t want you passing out. Yet.”

Her eyes rolled back as he went back down, coaxing another orgasm from her. She gripped his hand, hips bucking off the bed. Her legs slipped off his shoulders as he pulled back. She sat up and kissed him desperately, reaching down to stroke his already hard cock. His own hips jerked into her hand as he sucked her tongue, pressing her back against the bed.

“You get that hard from eating me out?” she breathed, rubbing her thumb over his tip.

“Been hard since I saw you in the bathroom,” he shivered, “Been wanting to fuck you like this for months.”

He grabbed her hips and manhandled her so she was on all fours. She lowered her body onto the bed, her back arching and ass on display for him. Glaring, he slapped her ass. She jumped, giggling when he did it again. Her eyes rolled back when he slid deep inside her, her back arching as he bottomed out. He pulled out slow, lips parted as he watched her stretch around him.

“Look at this pussy,” he licked his lips, “Does that feel good, baby?”

“Yes,” she whined, “Oh my god, Coco.”

Hearing her voice crack around his name unleashed something primal in Coco. His thrusts hit deep and harsh, his eyes closed as he listened to her cries. Her thighs shook and she clenched around him, her walls clinging to him as he pressed deep. She gripped the sheets as she gasped with each thrust. She jumped when he slapped her ass.

“This is mine,” he stopped, panting as he slid into her as deep as he could, “Ain’t it?”

“Yes!” she cried, “Fuck yes, it’s yours! Coco, please!”

He resumed the hard and fast pace, smirking when she moaned in relief. He leaned over, kissing her spine softly. She was whimpering with each deep hit, body shaking from his movements and her prior releases. He reached under her to rub her clit, his eyes lighting up when she bucked under him. She released again, screaming his name when he didn’t stop. He finally slowed his hips and she panted, grabbing his hand and kissing his thumb.

“So fucking pretty,” he grunted in her ear, “You ready?”

She smirked back at him and nodded, “Give it to me.”

Coco did just that, pounding her into the mattress as she sobbed and begged him not to stop. He dug his fingers into her skin as he tried to hold it together. One of her shaky hands gripped his thigh and he wrapped a hand around her throat, holding her torso just off the bed. Her eyes rolled back when he laced his hands together and held her throat. She reached down to rub her clit, screaming his name as she came a final time. He grunted and came deep inside her, twitching as she clenched tight around him.

He pulled out slowly, smirking when she whined in protest, “You want me to stay?”

“Yes,” her hair covered her face but he heard the pout in her voice.

He laid down next to her shaking form, turning her onto her side and slipping back inside her. She hissed but relaxed back in his arms.

“I missed that,” she whispered after a few moments, their breathing slowed to normal.

“Me too,” he kissed her shoulder. She closed her eyes and pulled the blanket over them. He smiled, “You going to sleep, baby?”

“Till it’s time for round 2.”

[happyanderes]

⚠︎Letter⚠︎

☎︎002-001

Stalker x reader

⚠︎Warnings: Yandere, stalking, drug usage(movie chloroform)

This is an oldie, so no drawings of the guy:>

Unless someone wants to see it

Word count:1.6k

If you’re reading this letter, I hope you read it to the end. 

You have the right to know everything written in here.

The first time I met you was exactly three months ago, it was a fraction of a second. you walked past me with hurried steps, I was deep in thought.

At that moment, a question that popped in my head.

Can someone know everything about a person when the other doesn’t?

……Only one way to find out. 

It was an experiment, and I chose you to be my participant.

To be honest, it could’ve been anyone walking there, you were just unlucky, I guess.

So I took the plan into action and turn around to follow you home. The first thing I learned about you was that you walk really fast, as if you’re in a hurry. 

But I was faster, you were relaxed, I can hear the little tune you were humming along with the music from your earphones. You liked that song a lot back then, but it changed to another lately, right?

Anyways, you were in your little world, I didn’t even have to hide the sound of my footsteps. Well, nobody is prepared for a stalker, not even me, perhaps.

I learned so much about you just that night, you would play with the straps on your bag, twist your fingers in them. Did you notice that little habit? It looks like you want your hand to be held.

And the way you breathe was quite adorable, sometimes you take deeper breaths as if you forgot to breathe.

You were a complete stranger to me, not my type, even.

But those little details were quite intriguing, so I continued on with my “research”.

Can someone know everything about a person when the other doesn’t?

For the first two weeks, I followed you through you going between work and home, at 8:30 sharp, but you often leave late, looking tired, were you being picked on? I later knew that it was in fact, true. Poor you, but it’ll get better, I’ll make sure of that.

By following you, I learned quite a lot, your favorite foods in the convenience store, how you would get all excited when you see a stray cat, or someone walking a dog. 

But that wasn’t enough, I can see you have a mask on when you’re outside, always smiling, always so composed.

So, I did what I have to, I broke in your house. It was so easy, who hides their spare keys in somewhere so obvious? So I took it and had someone make a copy, they didn’t suspect a thing, even laughed and told me to be careful with my keys, after all, who would know they’d encounter a stalker in real life? It’s amusing.

I haven’t felt such emotions in a long time, the fear of being caught, the excitement of sneaking around, the interesting feeling when I think about how nobody suspected me.

Strangely, I didn’t feel guilt, I mean, never had. 

(Click)

Anyways, I went in your apartment, it was way smaller than what I’ve expected, and quite messy, must I add. But it holds a certain charm to it, how you really are is so obvious just by seeing this room, I find it cute, how your pajamas are lying on the bed, how you forgot to leave the cap of your toothpaste on. Always, you go to work in a hurry and come home so late, do you have time for anything?

The first day was a little dangerous, I was so into the photo albums and the trinkets you collect in your room I almost forgot the time, I went past you when you were on the ground floor, but you didn’t seem to notice me, you looked so tired, no matter how much make up you put on it couldn’t hide those dark circles.

I felt bad for you, but I can’t help out yet, the experiment will last for three months.

Can someone know everything about a person when the other doesn’t?

After that, I often visit your house, in fact, I visit every day when you were not there. I would go in, look at all your things, then leave before sun down.

It was when I tried to go in your computer and faced a password did I realize that I don’t know your name yet. 

So I went through all your stuff, finding some mail and your passport, found your password, your name and your birthday isn’t a good combination, by the way, someone bad might figure it out.

It’s too late for that, apparently.

The stuff you have in there is just, so interesting.

First of all, you should block that guy who’s keep messaging you instead of dragging it on! Why are you giving him hope? He’s disturbing you and that alone is enough for him to die a thousand times.

Next, interesting taste in fictions. We might make a good couple.

Unfortunately, I didn’t think about it too much at the time, the need to do an experiment was replaced by the excitement rather than attachment or emotions towards you, of course, I felt attached to you, but it wasn’t strong……not yet.

Then after a month or so, I went through everything I could find, including your computer, I even read all the manga and stuff to get to know you more……and I hate to admit it, but it wasn’t half bad, some had nice plots.

But at some point, I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing you, so I went back to stalking you. I’ve gone a little rusty, but same as always, you didn’t feel it, it was a little frustrating to be honest, I don’t want you to notice me in this experiment, but at the same time I wanted you to turn your head around and use those beautiful eyes to look at me, to notice me, to show all those emotions and little details to me. I must have gone crazy……if I wasn’t at the start. 

We are only halfway through the experiment, and I’ve known so, so, so much about you, all those adorable little quirks, the real side of you, you became so beautiful in my eyes when I started stalking you again, for a moment, I thought you were an angel, not the biblical accurate ones you’ve seen in fictions, the ones people think about.

It was then I realized, I have fallen, not that deep yet, but…... 

If I stopped the experiment could we still be strangers back then? 

Can we?

No, it was too late for that……

Just following you wasn’t enough anymore, just going through your albums isn’t enough anymore, just looking through every post you made on social media isn’t enough anymore.

I have to……no, need to touch you.

It was the biggest risk I’ve taken by far, It would be the end if I was caught.

But it was so tempting, to touch your hair, your face…..to hold your hand and kiss your nose. 

I enjoy petting your hair a lot, whenever I touch them, I can’t get my hand off it it, and how comfortable you look when I pet you even when you’re sleeping. 

And the way your nose would scrunch up whenever I kiss you, as if it tickles you is just so cute.

That was just so adorable I couldn’t help but kiss you again and again, in your forehead, your eyelids, your cheeks, and your lips. They were soft, but a little dry.

It became routine, everyday when you’re fast asleep I would go in your house and just look at you, if I was feeling bold I’d touch you some more.

But it’s not enough, it’ll never be enough.

I haven’t slept well ever since I met you that day, I was making notes, or planning things, you never leave my head, every second of my life was surrounded by you, but the fact that you don’t know me was driving me crazy, you did all of this unconsciously.

By the time I realized, it’s only a week until this experiment ends. I learned about anything I could possibly learn about you, the way you talk to the people you like, the way you talk to the people you dislike, the little habit you have when you’re tense, I fell madly in love with you.

But there’s one thing I don’t know about you.

What would you do when you talk to me?

What face would you make when you see me?

Some stranger who knows all about you?

I think I have an inkling.

I can predict what you do easily, it’s amusing.

Anyways, I took a little time off from you and got some……supplies, I’ll put it that way. I’ve decorated our new place in the way you like, I hope you would appreciate it. I should be in your house by now, remember to take a deep breath.

I’ll come and get you in……

5

                  4

                                           3

                                               2

1

(Suddenly, you feel someone breathing on your neck)

(when did the door click open? )

“Ah ah ah, don’t run.”

(An arm was wrapped around your waist)

”The experiment was successful, I know aAaaLlll about you.”

(A cloth covered your mouth and your nose, you try to struggle, but it’s getting dizzy.)

“But it’s time for you to know about me. After all, it’s only fair for you to know all about me when I know you so well.”

(Your consciousness is fading, you tried to attack the person behind you, but you don’t have any strength anymore.)

“Can’t wait to have those pretty eyes looking at me.”

(You lose conscious)

[taetaespeaches]

“What’s the full moon called in December?”

hoseok x reader (oc) genre: fluff word count: 1.6K

a/n: Hi lovelies! This is just tipsy moon gazing with Hobi and Petal/reader. It’s cold, they’re in love, and the moon is full and bright. Also this is very much just written as a moment in time so it’s kind of random and there’s no real solid plot. They’re just vibing. Ok! I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading :))

Tipsy giggles poured from the apartment out onto the balcony, the gleeful sounds mixing with the noises of vehicles beneath you. As you and your boyfriend tumbled into the cold, his arms wrapped around your waist, you struggled to drape a blanket around his shoulders.

“Whoah, look at my breath,” he announced, exhaling into your face to show you the misty cloud that left his mouth. The whiskey had a much bigger impact on Hoseok, a renowned and beloved lightweight, than it did on you.

Smiling in amusement, you rolled your eyes playfully. “Yeah, it’s freezing out here, that’s why you need to let me put this blanket over you,” you pointed out to him. Hoseok peered over his shoulder to see the plush floral throw. His eyes widened before he helped you to tug it over him, just before he pulled you flush against his chest.

“We haven’t come out here in forever,” he hummed against your hairline, leaving the faintest of kisses to your hair.

Your hands settled against his lower back, pressing into his flesh just to hold him as close as you could. “We’ve been busy,” you noted as you rested your cheek against his shoulder and looked out into the darkened sky. The city lights kept the stars from being visible but the full moon shined brightly overtop you both. What wasn’t illuminated in the moon’s light was cast in a festive glow from the Christmas tree on the other side of the glass door.

You loved this time of year. The outside world was busy with holiday preparations and end of the year tasks, but your life with Hoseok seemed to slow down. Late nights extended into the early mornings as you both caught up with one another, remembering all the reasons you continued to welcome the new years together.

“Busy isn’t an excuse,” he mumbled. Looking up at him, you found him staring up at the sky. “You love the moon.”

“I do,” you told him, the sound of your voice drawing Hoseok’s gaze to yours.

“We miss it when it’s full a lot,” he told you as his eyes stayed locked on yours.

“Luckily it happens once a month,” you reminded him, wanting to remove the disappointed scowl from his pretty features.

When he directed his frown at you, you struggled to hold back your smile. You were just too fond of him. “There’s only twelve months in a year. That’s only twelve chances a year,” he pointed out, raising his eyebrows at you when the smile broke across your face. “What?”

You watched as a confused but intrigued grin formed on his lips as you shook your head. “You’re just so cute.” Hoseok scoffed at you, making you immediately roll your eyes back at him. “You are,” you insisted.

“I’m gonna mark all the full moons on my calendar,” he continued the conversation, ignoring your comments.

Smiling at him, you removed your hand from the warmth of the blanket to push his hair off his forehead. He was growing it out, enjoying his freedom to do so. “Calendars usually mark the full moons already.” You giggled at the way he glared down at you. “I’m just saying.”

“Must you be so mean to me?” He teased, making you throw your head back in laughter. “Fine, I’ll highlight the days in bright pink, is that better? I’ll set alarms on my phone so I don’t forget, and I’ll drag your ass out here even if you’re cozy on the couch watching The Great British Bake Off for the thousandth time.”

“Now who’s being mean?” You retorted, your eyes blown wide as Hoseok’s mouth spread into a massive smile. He was stunning. And that smile was everything to you.

A gust of wind blew through you both, disheveling the man’s hair that you had just fixed and pushing the blanket from his shoulders. Just as you reached for the blanket to readjust it, Hoseok’s hands were grabbing onto the sides of your face, the warmth of his palms heating the chill of your skin. His mouth was on yours in the next moment, the man tasting of the Old Fashioneds from your night out.

Your hands found purchase on his waist where you attempted to catch your balance, your legs wobbling beneath you. You could have blamed it on the alcohol but you knew better. As if on cue, the man who could have knocked you off your feet held you firm, one hand sliding into the hair at the back of your head as his other wrapped around your waist and pulled you close against him. The blanket cascaded off his body into a pile at the back of his heels but neither of you cared as you melted against his frame.

You stayed just like that, for god knows how long, losing track of time underneath the glow of the moon and the multicolored Christmas lights. It wasn’t until a shiver trembled against Hoseok that you finally separated and looked into his features, those beautiful almond eyes, and flashed him a smile.

“You’re cold,” you giggled, Hoseok shaking his head in disagreement.

“I’m not cold at all,” he protested, pulling you against his side as he turned you both to look in the opposite direction of the apartment. You watched as he shivered slightly while directing his attention to the sky. “Look at it.”

Smiling at his stubbornness, you followed his gaze to the moon. There was something enchanting about its presence. The way it was loyal and predictable, allowing you to track its moves, no need to surprise you. It was ever changing, appearing different from day to day, though always remaining itself. Hoseok was often compared to the sun, and in many ways he was. He was bright and warm, filling others up with energy as they basked in his presence. But you could always see him in the moon as well, and the moon in him. Loyal, brightening up the darkest of skies, ever changing but constant and dependable. “It is beautiful,” you whispered.

Your boyfriend squeezed his arms around you just a little tighter as he disguised a shiver with a content sigh. “What’s the full moon called in December?”

“The cold moon,” you replied, smiling when he chuckled.

“Fitting,” he nodded, this time letting his teeth chatter more openly.

“I told you it’s too cold out here,” you began to lecture him, only for the man to shoo your concerns into the chilly air with a few flicks of his wrist.

“What does the cold moon mean?”

“That it’s fucking cold,” you responded, Hoseok chuckling in amusement as he shook his head. Smirking at him, you looked back into the atmosphere. “It’s the final full moon of the year so it’s meant to be a symbol of reflection while also looking into the future. And with the winter solstice coming up, it’s kind of like the ‘darkest before the dawn’ moon. Things only get brighter and warmer from here, so you’re supposed to take everything you learned throughout the year and set forth into the future.”

“You’re so smart,” Hoseok beamed at you. Rolling your eyes, he giggled adorably. “Do you really think I’m mean?” He pouted playfully at you, causing you to crack a smile as you pinched the flesh of his slim waist.

“No,” you assured him with a polite smile. “Just obnoxious.”

“Good,” he grinned, dragging you closer to the door but not retreating inside quite yet.

“Cold yet?” You teased him, feeling the way he shivered against your frame.

“Nah uh,” he lied, a smile on his lips as he found himself quite amusing. “Reflection, huh? This was a good year,” he then noted. “A big year. Complicated. Emotional,” he listed while looking up at the moon once more. “But good.”

“It was,” you agreed. “All those things.”

“I’m bringing you into the future with me,” he then said with a big dorky smile, directing it at you.

“If you insist,” you teased.  

“You’re stuck with me,” he continued, taking another step backward toward the apartment, inching closer to the indoors as he brought you along with him.

“Fine by me,” you smiled, smitten by his slightly intoxicated antics. “Hey, Hoseok?”

“Hmm?” He hummed, his chin shuttering slightly as his jaw shivered in the icy atmosphere.

“Let me make you some tea, okay?” With a sigh, he finally relented, nodding. And then, all at once, he was darting to the door, his hand finding yours as he tugged you behind him, bolting inside the apartment as you shook your head at him with a giggle.

“I’ll turn on your baking show,” he noted as he dropped your hand once inside, and started toward the living room. “You can tell me what you would do differently to make all their pastries better.”

“You say that as if I’m a know-it-all or something when in reality we both know I’d win that show if I ever went on it,” you told him cockily as you headed toward the kitchen to put the kettle on to boil.

“Yeah, yeah,” he waved you off, though he wore a smitten smile. “You’d win purely on stubborn drive,” he noted quietly, still grinning to himself. When he looked toward you and found you staring at him from across the room, his beam softened under your attention. “What?”

“Nothing,” you shook your head. “I just think I’ll take you into the future with me too.”

[jmagnabo92]

PM - 49 Photo

@prongsfoot-microfic

When Harry finds a photo of James and Sirius kissing, he’s got some questions and Sirius has a lot of explaining to do.

AO3

***

“Hey, Sirius,” Harry says, tentatively from the doorway of the drawing room.  

Sirius hated being in this house again, but at least he has the opportunity to spend time with his godson/son.  Of course, Harry didn’t know that he and James were married or that Lily had only been a surrogate – well, sort of – James and Lily had been together briefly before he and James got together, and Lily had fallen pregnant.  Lily hadn’t been sure about marriage and kids and everything while she was a major target in the war, so he and James had agreed to raise Harry as theirs.  Lily would be a godmother, but they would raise him.

Only the prophecy had happened, and everyone had known that Harry biologically belonged to James and Lily.  So, they made assumptions and those two went into hiding and – well, the story continues from there.  

As far as everyone knows, Sirius is just the best mate.

“Hey, Harry.  Everything, okay?”

“Er, well, I – I sort of found something and I – I don’t really know how to ask, but…”

Harry nervously offers him something in his hand that he accepts.  He looks down to see a picture of himself and James kissing.  They were dressed up in fancy dress robes and had a small wedding – just the three of them.  Lily had performed the ceremony, she had gotten the ability as a special present to them for agreeing to take Harry in as their own (of course, he was biologically, James’) and allowing her to stand back a bit.

“Er, Harry, there’s something I haven’t told you – a lot actually,” Sirius states.  “Why don’t we have a seat?”

Harry nods and they sit on the little couch in the room.  It’s quiet as Sirius doesn’t know where to begin, too lost in the photo – one of the happiest days of his life.  He and James hadn’t been together long, only about three months, but they had always known they wanted forever.  

After a minute or so, Harry clears his throat.  “Are you – going to explain?”

Sirius clears his throat.  “Yes, er, you see – James was always more than my best mate.  I – I can’t tell you when I fell in love with him, but it was long before this kiss.”  He pauses.  “But you see, James was kind of – well – he kind of confused his feelings a lot.  He did fancy your mother, a lot, but he also had similar feelings for me, but he assumed they must’ve been platonic because you don’t have those feelings for a best mate.”  Sirius laughs.  “He was obviously mistaken.”

“Uh-huh, go on.”

“Okay, well, he dated your mother at the end of seventh year and into the beginnings of the war, but then realized that he wanted to be with me – Lily actually helped him figure it out,” Sirius states.  “And we got together.  This photo is of our impromptu wedding, we wanted to be married before you came along.”

Harry frowns.  “How did I come along then?”

Sirius takes a breath.  “Lily became pregnant right before your father and I got together.  It – it complicated things.  It was decided that James and I would raise you as a couple, as Lily – she loved you, but didn’t want to make you a target, the war was too much … it was a complicated time.  We were going to be your fathers and she was to be your godmother.”

“Then why does everyone think –”

“Technically, biologically, they’re right about your parentage.  And assuming the situation with James and Lily and – and … I was afraid that no one would believe me.  After all, the war was full of assumptions and craziness and I lost James and you in one night and ever since then… well, no one here is taking me seriously, so I – I thought it was better that I didn’t tell you about all of this.”

Harry nods.  “I suppose that makes sense.  Still, I – it would’ve been nice for you to tell me that you would’ve been my dad, too.”

“Pads,” Sirius states.  “Dad and Pads.  We used to joke about it all of the time.”

Harry grins.  “I know it must be hard to be without Dad, but I’m really glad to have my Pads, here.”

“I’m happy to be here with you, too, kiddo.  And at least, now, you know that it would’ve been the three of us as a family.”

“At least we still have the two of us and this photo.”

Sirius smiles.  “And lots of stories.”

“I’d love to hear them.”

“And I’d love to tell you.”

[actress4him]

Whumptober 2023 - Day 29 - Obsession

This is the actual next chapter of Obsession, following after Threats. It's not the entire scene that I wanted to come next, but I was running short on time (and inspiration) here at the end of the month, so I will have to continue this scene at a later date.

Taglist: @justplainwhump , @whump-ventures

Previous | Next | Masterlist

No. 29: Troubled Past Resurfacing

Contains: lady whump, stalker, selective mutism, fear

.

.

Cadence doesn’t suspect a connection, at first, between the text and the doorbell ringing. Why should she? They don’t get visitors, usually, but the small part of her brain that hears it assumes it must be a delivery. 

Most of her mind is occupied with trying to forget the text, anyway. Do you think that staying at home all the time keeps me from getting to you anytime I want? You’re so adorable.

He won’t leave her alone. There’s no way that she can get away from him, not ever, she knows that. It doesn’t stop her from trying. He tracked her down at her favorite coffee shop, so she started switching where she went to draw - other coffee shops, the park, even McDonald’s. Anywhere that he might not think of to look for her. He somehow knew what her hair looked like while she was sitting at the bus stop, so she gave up altogether and just locked herself inside the house. Janaysia has been giving her suspicious looks, but there’s nothing she can do about that. She can’t go out there anymore, where he’s lurking. He’s already threatened to take her again. If she steps out of this house, he’ll be waiting to snatch her.

There’s a sharp knock at her bedroom door. Startled out of her spiraling thoughts, Cady stands and crosses the room, easing the door open to see Janaysia standing in the hall. 

“So…apparently you forgot to tell us you had company coming over?” Her housemate raises an eyebrow at her, as if she doesn’t quite believe the situation. 

Her mouth opens and shuts again, eyebrow furrowed in confusion and dread beginning to grow in her stomach. It wouldn’t be him. He wouldn’t dare come here like this, not when he’s so adamant that no one ever finds out. But…it has to have something to do with him, right? Because she certainly didn’t invite anyone over. Everything in her life seems to be connected to him.

She shakes her head no, adamantly, but Janaysia just sighs and smiles. “It’s okay, it’s no big deal. We haven’t started cooking dinner yet, so we can just make a little more. Unless you guys were planning to go out…?”

Cadence shakes her head even harder. The dread has expanded up into her chest and is crawling toward her throat. She steps back into the room, reaching for her notebook, but Janaysia steps away, too. 

“Don’t worry about it, just come on so Devin doesn’t have to keep making awkward conversation with a stranger! You can explain it to us later.”

She feels like she’s choking the whole way down the hall. Every inch of her wants to turn and run back to the safety of her bedroom, to grab Janaysia’s arm and plead with her to keep her safe, to not make her go out there, but she just keeps in step, body moving robotically just like it does with him.

Somewhere in her gut, she knows. No matter how much her brain tries to drown it out with protests of how it can’t be, he wouldn’t, she still knows. 

But nothing can prepare her for walking around the corner and seeing him. In their living room. Sitting on their couch. Chatting casually with one of her best friends, like he’s just a normal guy who can do normal things like that. 

All of the blood drains from Cadence’s face, and she stops moving, staring at him with blurred vision. Whatever words are being spoken are so far away she can’t hear them. All she knows is him, in their living room, on their couch.

Until he looks her way, smiling that smile that she sees in her nightmares. Her mind immediately zeroes in on his words to her, unable to risk missing anything. 

“Ah, Cadence, there you are. I guess it…slipped your mind, that you invited me over tonight?”

He’s here. He’s here. He’s here. Why? What does it mean, what is he going to do?

She nods, numb, not knowing what else to do but agree.

“Wait, is…Cady short for…Cadence?” Janaysia’s looking at her all wide-eyed and fascinated and she wants to scream, to tell them no, they can’t know about that, they can’t know about him, but it’s far too late for that because he’s right there, sitting on their couch.

“Oh, right, my bad.” He chuckles, waving a hand. “I keep forgetting she goes by that now. She’ll always be Cadence to me, I’m afraid.”

Devin smiles at her. “Oliver was just telling me -” he shouldn’t be saying his name so casually like that, it isn’t right -“a little about how the two of you met, back in college.”

College? It wasn’t college, it was after that, but that must be his cover story. She has to remember that, to make sure she doesn’t slip up and say the wrong thing and mess it all up.

Assuming they all make it past this night with secrets still intact. They have to. Her friends’ lives depend on it.

“It’s a shame we lost touch after a while, but I’m so glad I ran into her again recently.”

“Was that…at the birthday party?” Janaysia is too smart for all of this. She’s already starting to put a few pieces together, and if this continues she might put together more. Cadence has to play her part, she can’t let her find out. But she can’t make herself move, there’s no way that she can act anywhere near normal with him in the room. When he’s here, she has to be still and be quiet and wait for him to tell her what to do. She can’t act like herself. 

She isn’t even sure she knows what that means anymore, anyway.

“Right! At Devin’s birthday party. So sorry for stealing her away, by the way, we just had so much catching up to do.”

Janaysia’s smile says that she’s still a little miffed about the whole thing. “Well, next time a little heads up would be nice before she just disappears, we were definitely worried! But no real harm done, in the end.”

She could almost laugh aloud at that, if she wasn’t frozen in place and could remember how. There had been plenty of harm done. But they could never, ever know about it.

“Well.” Devin slaps his hands down onto his thighs, then stands. “I’m gonna go get started on dinner, and let you two visit.”

Cadence startles, eyes darting to both her friends before zoning in on the floor. Don’t leave me don’t leave me please don’t leave me. Except that she doesn’t want them here, either. They don’t need to be anywhere near him, they need to run, to go far far away where he can’t get to them. But if they leave, he’ll be free to do whatever he wants to her. As long as they’re in the room, he’s leaving her alone.

“Yep, I’ll come help you. Any, uh…food allergies, Oliver?”

He smiles brilliantly at Janaysia. “None at all, thank you for asking.”

“Alright, perfect.” She turns to leave, but looks at Cadence first, brow furrowing in concern. “You okay?” she asks softly.

All she can do is nod. It isn’t anywhere near convincing, but she can’t even force a smile or look her in the eye.

But apparently Janaysia reads her emotions as something completely different, anyway. She reaches out and squeezes her arm gently, leaning in. “Don’t be nervous, he obviously likes you. Also…he is hot, just saying.” With a quiet laugh, she walks into the adjoining kitchen with Devin. A couple of seconds later, she reappears with Cadence’s dry erase board, handing it over with another smile before leaving again. 

Her gaze slides up until it finds his, boring into her with all its usual intensity, and quickly drops back down. Her pulse is pounding in her ears. She grips the dry erase marker too tightly, the hard plastic digging into the bones of her fingers, as her breath stutters in and out of her closed-over throat. 

“Come sit down, Cadence.”

His tone is pleasant, but she knows better than to think it’s a suggestion. Her feet lurch into motion. Two steps on the hardwood, five more across the worn out rug and around the ottoman. The closer to him she gets, the harder it is to breathe. But she sinks down onto the couch, anyway, just a few inches away from him. His hand immediately finds her thigh. “So good to see you again.” His fingers begin to squeeze, digging into her skin with a promise of more to come. “You really should get out of the house more often.”

[lanarai]

I don’t know if it’s right to make the first post so sad, but on my blog I would sometimes like to share not only my drawings, but also stories from my life.

I suffer from a congenital predisposition to alcoholism.

I think it’s clear from the title what it is, but I’ll still explain how it’s possible. No, I haven’t drank since childhood, which is why this could happen, it has to do with genetics. When a family suffers from alcoholism from generation to generation, there is a high probability that this predisposition will be passed on to the future generation.

In my father’s family, many generations suffered from alcoholism, all the relatives who are dead, I know, died from alcoholism. I personally know a relative, my grandmother’s brother, who died of alcoholism when I was 10. He was a terrible guy, he drank, smoked, I definitely didn’t consider him alive since childhood. My own grandfather, as far as I remember, was an alcoholic, periodically, but he was, but now he doesn’t drink, only because he can’t really walk.

Since childhood, I was told that I have this predisposition and was always strictly warned that I must control myself, because female alcoholism is much worse. But at the age of 18 I received full access to alcohol and unfortunately at one point I fell into severe depression and tried to heal it with alcohol. I drank one or two glasses every day, and this continued for a month. And so, sitting down to drink again, I suddenly realized a terrible thing. I stopped feeling the taste of alcohol. The same sign when you start drinking without enjoying the drink, but just drinking. At that very moment and day, I realized what I was doing to myself, what I was turning into. I didn’t finish my glass that day, but poured it out along with the remaining wine. After that day, for half a year I did not allow myself to touch alcohol at all, and only after such a period did I start drinking a little again, drinking one glass of champagne or wine once every two weeks, or even less often.

Most likely, you will now read a beautiful text that has already been edited, because the next day I will edit it for errors.

Finally, I want to tell you, as a person who independently struggled with the first stage of alcoholism, know when to stop.

Alcohol is cool until you lose your taste for it

[yourlittledecoyxox]

The past few days, I’ve been working on a lil story idea. I’ve written out a first piece. I wanna add a lot more detail and spacing between the two but I’ve written what came to me as it came to me. 

I’d really appreciate some feedback or if I should even continue. I haven’t written in years so I’m a bit rusty. If you read it, please let me know what you think! 

Don’t ask me how I ended up in Castle Rock, of all places. I couldn’t tell you. It wasn’t part of the plan. The plan was Chamberlain. But that quickly changed. God knows why, he doesn’t tell me shit. That’s the problem with your brother being your boss. He says jump, you start stretching. 

My older brother Mikey, whilst not the nicest guy in the world, was all I had left. And it was because of that, that I did as he asked. He told me we were gonna go to Chamberlain, be there a few months until the cops caught wind then move on again. That had been the routine for the past 2 years but I hadn’t minded much. We got to see the country and not be tied down. But I could sense Mikey was getting frustrated with the drifter lifestyle. He wanted his patch, his kingdom. And I just followed. 

Upon first impressions of Castle Rock, it wasn’t much to look at. It was your stereotypical suburban town. It didn’t have much going for it in my opinion but Mikey seemed to like it. Or there was something here he wanted. Either way, he wouldn’t tell me. 

He sorted us a small, 2 bed house with boarded up windows and peeling paint. The inside was even worse, I’d never seen so much dust in my life. Not to mention I almost lost my foot going through the rotten floorboards in one of the bedrooms. I had asked why we were living in such a shithole when we had money from the last job, Mikey had said ‘we don’t wanna draw much attention to ourselves just yet. Better for people to think we are just down and outs.’ It had taken a few weeks to get the place to a livable state but I didn’t bother to decorate much. Wouldn’t be long before we left. Putting down roots, even if it was just a few picture frames, made it harder to leave.

On my first exploration of Castle Rock, I had cursed my brother for bringing us to such a dead-end town. I was used to the city life. Seeing the same 5 faces everyday didn’t appeal to me. Mikey had been there to help fix up the house then he left. Told me to ‘stay put’ until he called. 

So that’s what I did. For a few days at least. 

I needed food so I went to the supermarket. Well, supermarket would be an overstatement. It was more of a convenience store. I picked out my food for the week and paid.

“You new ‘round here?” The balding cashier asked, an eyebrow raised. 

I hated when people asked questions they already knew the answer to.

“Sure.” I said shortly before picking up my change.  

I stopped by the Diner on the way home. It was rather quaint with shiny tables and burgers bigger than my head. I eyed the ‘Help Wanted’ sign before going over to the jukebox. As much as I wanted to eat half my body weight in fries, pancakes and milkshakes, the money Mikey had left me with would have to tide me over for the foreseeable future, he could be gone anywhere from a few days to a month. So I had to be careful, at least until he called. I eyed the jukebox with interest before I started to flip through the songs. Surprisingly, there was a decent choice. As I fiddled with the machine and pretended to be enamoured with the song choice, I took note of the back door that led into a kitchen. Must have a back door through there. The register was close enough to the back door that you could get to it without being seen from the front windows. There appeared to be a standard alarm but that’s nothing that couldn’t be rewired. Interesting.

“I swear to god, if they so much as step a foot into this diner…”

I turned my head slightly towards one of the waitresses, a woman in her mid 40’s with blonde hair and crows feet. She had her arms crossed and was glaring at the door. A younger waitress stood next to her, biting her lip anxiously, eyes also locked on the door. I turned my head back to the jukebox, intent on finding at least one song that would entertain me for a few minutes before I was released back to the boredom this town consumed me with.

I scrolled for another few seconds before a shrill yell echoed throughout the diner. My head snapped up and I watched as the older waitress, who’s nametag read ‘Maureen’ headed towards the door.

“Abolutely not! You are not allowed back in here and you know it!” Her shouts were directed at a group of 4 men. They couldn’t have been much older than me, two brunettes and two blondes. The two at the front smirked at the​ woman whereas the other two held back, seemingly willing to let the others deal with the situation. 

“Now Maureen, that’s not a very nice way to speak to paying customers.” The brunette drawled with sarcastic sadness. He was tall, rather good-looking with a scar below one of his eyes. The blonde that stood next to him was leaning against the door, he stood heads above Maureen and knew it. He looked down at her with a cocky disinterest, as if this whole thing was below him.

“Y’all ain’t customers because you’re banned now get out!” She was ballsy, I’d give her that. It was at that moment, I’d realised everyone else in the diner was watching this interaction with baited breath. Most of the patrons looked nervous, some looked delighted that this group of men were being denied entry. 

The blonde one took a step closer to Maureen, a small smirk on his face as he spoke to her lowly. The poor woman was shaking with rage. I couldn’t hear what he said but she eventually moved to the side and let them through. If looks could kill, those men would’ve been dead a million times over. The brunette tipped his hat at her before they moved through the main walkway, towards a booth.

I was rather shocked she had lost that encounter, I was half expecting her to start beating them with her shoe.I took my cue to leave and began walking towards the door. Unfortunately, the group were sat at the booth near the door and as I walked past, a chair was pushed into my path.

Huh.

I stopped in my tracks and looked at the chair before raising my gaze to the men expectantly. I looked at the brunette first, the one who had clearly pushed the chair, before my gaze was drawn to the blonde. His eyes were locked onto mine as a small smirk played on his lips. 

“Fancy joining us, gorgeous?” The brunette asked, a grin on his face. 

Oh Jesus, did that really just happen? I internally gagged as I maintained eye contact with his blonde friend. 

I pushed the chair out of the way before walking out the door, not dismissive to the sound of the other two men making fun of the brunette. As I walked past the window, I noticed the blonde was still watching me, his smirk a little bigger.

This time, I did roll my eyes as I got into my car and drove home. 

—---------

The next week was rather uneventful. I did as I was told and kept a low profile. I hadn’t heard from Mikey, not a thing. So I spent my time fixing up my car. It was a ‘52 Buick and she was my everything. It was a gift from our Dad and my Brother had done it up for me for my birthday. I spent most of my mornings that week fixing the engine, adding a spoiler and cleaning the inside. Then in the evenings, I went to a bar called Irby’s. It appeared to be the only place to drink around here and seemed the owner didn’t care much about ID’s when money could be made. I’d somehow made a friend in one of the locals, Bonnie. She was in her mid 20’s, curly, black hair and a killer smile. She had grown up in Castle Rock but often went into Chamberlain. We had instantly hit it off, with her pulling me to her table and chatting the whole night. Since then, I had gone to Irby’s every night. Albeit it had only been 3 nights but it gave me something to do.

This night was no different. I sat down next to her and noticed she had already bought me my favourite, a Whiskey and Coke. I was trying to force myself to like the taste of straight Whiskey but I couldn’t do it. To be honest, I liked a Mai-Tai or a Pina Colada but I doubted Irby’s would know what they were so I went for the safe option.

“This place is Antsville tonight!” Bonnie commented, flicking the head of her lighter and lighting her cigarette. I hummed in agreement, taking a sip of my drink. Irby’s was small so it didn’t take a lot for it to be packed but as it was a Friday night, it was at maximum capacity. 

“So how are you finding Castle Rock? Have you spoken to anyone bar me since last night?” She teased.

I shot her a deadpan look before responding “I’ve been working on my car all day so no.”

She rolled her eyes playfully, “Castle Rock doesn’t have much to offer so I don’t blame you but you need to get out more and meet people!”

“Jesus, you sound like my Mother!” I laughed before downing my drink. “You want another?” I asked as I stood.

She shook her head, taking another drag of her cigarette, eyes scanning the crowd.

I began making my way through the plethora of bodies, I got a fair few elbows into the stomach and head but eventually I arrived at the bar. The lights were obnoxiously yellow and the bartop was covered in spilled beer. The owner was mid argument with a patron who had clearly had too much and appeared to have spilt his drink all over himself. As he slurred his way through reasons he should be allowed to stay, I noticed something in the back. On the left of the bar, up a few steps was a couple of pool tables. But it wasn’t the pool tables that caught my attention. It was the group playing. It was the group from the diner the other day. The blonde, the brunette and about 4 others. The brunette and another guy were playing pool whilst the blonde sat in a booth with a cigarette in his mouth, watching his surroundings. Before I could look away, we locked eyes. His face changed from watchful to smug and he sent me a wink before taking a swig of beer. I raised an eyebrow at him before turning back to the bar, the owner now dealt with his sticky patron.

I ordered another round before leaning against the bar. My back was beginning to hurt after being hunched over the engine all morning. Fuck, I should’ve taken some aspirin before coming out. I grabbed our drinks and went back to our table, putting the drinks down.

“I thought I said I didn’t want another one?” 

“Yeah, well, I don’t like being in debt to people.” I said, raising my glass to cheers her. 

As we began chatting about what little Castle Rock had to offer, the front door opened and a man walked in. I didn’t pay much attention at first, until I noticed Bonnie couldn’t take her eyes off him.

“Friend of yours?”

She grinned before putting her finger to her lips. We watched as the man walked through to the back of the bar and surprise surprise, joined the men I saw at the diner.

“Who are those guys?” I asked, watching as the group of men greeted the man, passing him a beer before one of them got him in a playful headlock. 

“They…” She pointed, her barely lit cigarette still between her fingers, “are the Cobra’s.”

I burst out laughing, ‘The Cobra’s? What, was the Rattlesnakes taken?” 

She gave me a deadpan look before continuing, “The blonde in the black shirt,” The one who had winked at me earlier, “is Ace Merrill, their leader.” For some reason, his name seemed familiar but I couldn’t place where from. Probably one of the waitresses said something about him earlier. 

I had spent many of my formative years in Detroit, a place where gangs run rampant and you didn’t mess with them. Somehow, I found it difficult to take these ‘Cobras’ seriously. I had seen scary men in my time, my own Father being one of them, and hell, my Brother could count as one aswell. Scary men don’t need to try and prove how scary they are. Unlike greased back hair and leather jackets over there.

I took a moment to examine this ‘Ace,’ what kinda name is that? He looked to be in his late teens, early twenties at most. He had slicked back blonde hair, tanned skin and eyes that seemed to hold you where you were. He had left his place in the booth and was now playing pool with the brunette from earlier.

“The guy with him is Eyeball Chambers.” Bonnie continued, motioning to the brunette. 

“What kind of fucking names are these?!” I’d really have to hate my kid to call them ‘Eyeball’ or ‘Ace.’

Bonnie slapped my arm lightly, “Let me finish! He’s called Eyeball because apparently,” She took a deep breath as if she was tired of telling this story, ‘his Dad put out a cigarette on his eye when he was a kid.” 

Fucking hell. 

“Then there’s Billy, Charlie, Vince and Fuzzy.” She pointed out each of the other guys in turn. “I’m not gonna tell you what to do but I’d stay away from them if I were you.”

“Why’s that? They like to give people wedgies?” I drawled sarcastically. 

Bonnie burst out laughing, some of her drink coming out of her nose. Damn, she must be drunk because I am not that funny.

“You are too much for me, Sugar!” She giggled, catching her breath. “But no, they’re messed up in some shit. It’s mainly Ace and Eyeball you gotta watch out for. The rest are fairly harmless, just like to pretend they’re tough. Nah, that Merill…” She lit another cigarette, “almost killed a kid last summer. Damn near slit his throat.”

“Fuck, why? What happened?”

She shrugged, coughing a little on her cigarette and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, smudging her red lipstick. “It’s just a rumour but I believe it.”

God damn, maybe I was wrong about this guy. Maybe he is more fucked than I thought. Who the fuck tries to kill a kid? Although, I was a little dubious. God knows how many rumours were spread about me when all the shit went down two years ago. 

“But get this…” She starts up again, both of us looking over at the group, “The kid Ace almost got is Eyeball’s brother.”

“There ain’t no fucking way…” I trailed off in shock, “And he did nothing to stop him?”

Bonnie shrugged, leaning back in her seat. “I don’t know the details. Like I said, it’s just a rumour but I’d put money on it.”

Damn, what kind of town was this?! This guy clearly had a reputation, evident from the antics at the diner and now this. I couldn’t tell if he was a ‘tough guy’ or just a plain psychopath. Either way, I intended to keep my distance. I was here for a reason. Granted, I didn’t know that reason just yet but I was not gonna get caught up in some violent prick’s bullshit. I needed to speak to Mikey.

I had been so caught up in my thoughts, I hadn’t realised I was still staring at the group and it wasn’t until Bonnie grabbed my arm did I realise they had caught on. ‘Ace’ or whatever his fucking name was was looking straight at me, an eyebrow raised and a small smirk on his lips. ‘Eyeball’ was murmuring in his ear next to him before looking over at me and grinning smugly.

Awesome. Just what I needed.

I turned back to Bonnie, purposely facing my body away from our spectators. 

“You’ve been in Castle Rock all of five minutes, sugar, and you’re already on their radar.” 

“Just my fuckin’ luck.” I muttered, taking a sip of my drink. 

—------

“Ow!” 

Shit, since when was the sofa there?

I clumsily made my way through the house, hitting myself apparently on every piece of goddamn furniture in this place. I had turned on one of the lamps but it didn’t seem to help much. The problem was I had drunk a bit too much. I staggered through to my room and collapsed on the bed. I should make it easy on myself in the morning and get water now but damn, I’m so comfy.

I don’t fall asleep fully clothed with makeup and shoes still on as often as I used to but every now and then, I would. I was so bored. I had nothing to do in this god forsaken town. If drinking didn’t fill the void, what would?

Fuck, I forgot to turn off the lamp in the living room.

I considered just leaving it until the morning but if I got up to turn it off, I could also get some water for my future self.

With a groan, I stood up and wobbled into the living room. I was about to turn off the lamp when I noticed something on the front door mat. I most definitely had beer goggles on, everything was wavy so it took me longer than it should’ve to see that it was a letter.

In hindsight, I should’ve been concerned as no one except Mikey and Bonnie knew where I lived. At the time, I didn’t fully process how weird it was.

I bent down to pick up the letter and tried to look at it more closely. Can I sober up for like 30 seconds please?

There was no address on it, just my name. Well, my old name. The one I was born with. I recognised the handwriting almost instantly.

My brother had a flair for the dramatic, you could say. He always had. He also liked to feel like he was in control. The two were a deadly combination. 

It was this flair for the dramatic that made me roll my eyes when I read the note.

Annabelle,

Things are starting. I’ll call tomorrow. Get ready.

M

See what I mean about dramatic? Why not just call me tomorrow anyway? He must’ve been in town to deliver this so why not talk to me? You know, like human beings do? I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the trash before grabbing my water and heading to bed. 

—---

The next day went as expected. I woke up with a hangover and didn’t leave my bed until lunchtime. When I finally felt like I could rejoin the land of the living, I showered and made some pancakes. The rest of the day was spent watching TV and waiting for Mikey to call.

It wasn’t until the evening did the phone ring. 

“Michael?”

“I take it you got my note?”

Obviously, otherwise I wouldn’t have answered the phone by saying your name. “Yeah. What’s happening?”

“I got a job for you.”

“Go ahead.” I was no stranger to Mikey’s little ‘jobs.’ It could be anything from gathering intel for a robbery to befriending a rival. I was still waiting on the day a job for me was to see how much beer I could drink before passing out.

He sighed in irritation, I could see him running his tongue over his teeth, a tell he was pissed. “Chamberlain’s a maybe. Could get some business there. But you don’t shit where you sleep. Castle Rock seems like it’ll be just far enough that they won’t suspect shit. But I hear Castle Rock has its’ own shit.”

I held back a laugh, “They have a gang if that’s what you mean. Or if you could even call it that. ‘The Cobra’s.’ Bunch of idiots with anger issues, tryna prove to themselves that they’re tough. Laughable, not really a threat.”

I heard silence which meant Mikey was probably deep in thought. “I’ve heard similar. It’s not them I think could cause problems. It’s their leader. Goes by the name Ace Merill.”

Fucking ace. Literally, fucking Ace. “I’ve heard of him, seen him around a few times. From what I heard, he almost killed some kid last year so maybe you’re right. The gang don’t seem like a threat but he’s something else.”

“On the money, kid. Kids tryna play in the big leagues ain’t a problem. Merrill seems like he may be a player in the big leagues. I need info.”

I groaned, “Fuck. What do you need?”

“Anything and everything you can get on him. If you can find out what he’s mixed up in, even better.”

“How the hell am I supposed to find out about that?!”

Mikey sighed as if I was the dumbest person in the world, which I’m sure he thought I was sometimes. “Talk to him, be his friend. Make him trust you.”

“I don’t know if you can be friends with a guy like this.” I mumbled.

“Then do whatever you gotta do, okay?! Just find out what he knows.” With that, he hung up.

I was well and truly fucked. 

[mirnightghost]

"pulls out a gun* I have not been sincere with the audience since 2020 I am not responsible for myself. And believe me, my sincerity is terrible. I have to create pictures. That's all.

but I...oh

Moving abroad? The completion of the Great Plan that I spent almost a year on? Parting with a cat for almost a month? Feelings of uncertainty and fallen terror? Yes. I will draw it. My adrenaline is going through the roof for three days in a row, I don't eat anything and just draw. My voices play with me, make me fight and overcome. I am grateful to them.

I have been receiving information for a month now that I deserved the life and death of the beast. I don't argue with that. And I felt it, and I will feel it for a very long time. Society hates creatures like me because I did not join the general morality. Spit. I only know one thing for sure. I won't give up, because what else can I do but always taste metal in my mouth, get scars, lose my mind...I must continue the eternal battle. Until the last drop of blood.

I haven't been in a fandom for a long time. It's funny, I always say that I was, but it's a lie. This sounds like a very strange/unexpected and funny topic here, and maybe it is. But then again, I just avoid society. Because my thoughts and ideas are delusional(?). I like them, but society always bares its teeth at you. Or not. I don’t know, I haven’t been to places where I can just sincerely share emotions with people about some simple things that we like

If I don't stop writing this I might say too much. Who cares? Hah, funny question. After all, we perfectly understand what they are watching. You won't run away from them.

Why are we so afraid of death? Don't we all experience the feeling of death every day? You can be happy, scared, calm or energetic. You can be loved or hated. You may experience a kaleidascope of emotions but... but the feeling that you are bound to die is there.

[wanted to quote Nietzsche here, but I already sound too pathetic]

I am overwhelmed with emotion, remorse for my ideals and contempt for what drives me. Adrenaline hits me for the third day, I seem to be lost in time and I don’t know what will happen to me in a week...okay, I know for sure that I’ll watch Nimona from Netflix, but what then...

Again anxiety, building sand castles, noises... new place, new people. I've been waiting for this, but that doesn't mean I'm not excited about something new and familiar at the same time.

And this is the end of this post.

[the-anonymous-vent-blog]

My online friend has been not talking to me lately because I’m too clingy and apparently getting notifications from me stresses her out and makes her want to talk to me LESS and she’s muted me and like our chats and stuff and said she won’t even look at them for WEEKS and will "come back when she feels better" and like on the one hand I get it prioritize your mental health

but on the other hand literally just say we aren’t friends, if my existence and sending you messages is stressful. "Stop breaking my boundaries" You haven’t blocked me and you absolutely could. Literally just block me it’ll make this easier for both of us. If I still have the ability to message you of course I’ll try to message you?? You HAVE a block button why haven’t you used it.

I’ve even told her, if you just say we aren’t friends anymore it’ll hurt less when you don’t see my messages and don’t want to talk to me and whatever. She still hasn’t, for reasons that I don’t understand. I guess she still thinks of us as friends, even though she literally has admitted that she avoids looking at my messages because she doesn’t want to talk to me. Some friend.

(I’ve actually blocked her on social medias we both have but she doesn’t use. She probably won’t notice. Like, last active on tumblr 10 months ago. It makes me feel a little better? Like, I don’t want to block her, because I want to still be friends, but if my existence makes her anxious I might as well cut myself out of her life a bit.)

Apologies for responding quite late, and I hope my words don't come off rude, but I struggled to find the right words for this. I went through something similar, though I was on the other end. I'll be drawing from my own experiences heavily for my response.

It's most likely your friend really does want to continue your friendship, and they are speaking truthfully that they simply need time and space. Sometimes I find myself getting overwhelmed by being near my friends, they're loud, too rowdy, or something could have set them off and they'd be snappy. I know someone who's tics bother me alot. Of course, I still care about them but I might need to avoid them for a few days or during certain times. If she wants to keep being friends, she must consider you worth the effort.

She likely is afraid that blocking you will feel too much like giving up, or that you will take it the wrong way and blame yourself or her.

I had a friend who was clingy, I hated it and I wanted space. I still wanted to be her friend, but when I tried to speak to her I couldn't find the right words and we ended up breaking off the friendship.

I can't say what she's thinking for certain, and I could be totally off considering I'm a stranger on the internet who barely knows anything about the situation. I say wait and hope for the best, although your relationship will likely greatly change from this.

[zahri-melitor]

I promised myself I’d buy some more comics trades for runs I enjoy, especially as my main “I’m buying these books” collection recently (picking up all the GGB Chalet Schools) is down to like…15 books to go, half of which are from the late Swiss period anyway and so not high priority (There are 60 of them). So it’s a waiting game for a handful to be listed anywhere/finding copies listed for a reasonable price. Time to go drop $100 a month or so on some OTHER property.

So the start of this year was the perfect time to switch over to comics trades, right, where I can get to play the ‘is this in print/listed anywhere/available for a reasonable price’ game all over again.

So I was casually browsing what’s actually available.

My first aim was ‘collect all of Young Justice 1998’ (done) and ‘apparently I am missing volume 3 of Blue Beetle 2006, must have not had it returned when lent out’ (tracked down a first print run, replaced). I also figured out which issues of Birds of Prey 1998 have trades I don’t have yet - the last 2 trades of Simone, essentially, as apparently they STILL haven’t collected the Dixon run beyond the one-shots/minis. (ARGH)

What is essentially my LCS just had volume 3 of Batgirl 2000 on sale, so I went “excellent, sold” added it to my order, then checked for 1&2. They had volume 2. They very much did NOT have volume 1.

I googled, stared at the pricing, and sighed, because here we go again. (How. HOW is it that bad when I got volume 3 for half retail price??!!??)

Also encountered the fact that Huntress: Cry for Blood has been collected TWICE, but the current edition has a terrible movie tie in cover. Which: yeah I GUESS it’s the best contained offering of Huntress to an interested general public? But I do not want a movie tie in cover! (Alas, after correlating pricing on getting the original printing, I added the terrible cover edition to my order as it was easier).

But in any case, I am quite happy as I have a nice little order of trades coming as a birthday present to myself, and I can continue to work on drawing up a list of what else I would like to get, and what is feasible to get (tragically two very different lists in places).

[sevenseasofbye]

@infinitejedilove

My submission for the 2024 Jinnobi Challenge

Obi-Wan sat in his council chair, his robes doing nothing to hide the swell of his 6-month pregnant belly. The Council was waiting for Emmeline Seidler, a Jedi who had recently returned from a yearlong journey to Tibrin to recover battle plans and schematics from the Separatist base there. She was a very loud, opinionated Jedi, and her talents were mainly aimed at raising younglings straight out of the creche. She was also madly in love with Qui Gon.

“How much longer do you think?” Ki-Adi Mundi whispered to Obi-Wan, who smirked.

“Probably waiting to make a dramatic entrance,” he replied, holding back a chuckle.

Ki-Adi grunted his assent, returning to his usual impeccable posture. Several other members seemed to be asking the same question, and some were fidgeting, which was understandable, given the 30-minute wait.

Obi-Wan shifted slightly in his seat. His back was killing him. The child inside him was growing extremely heavy and it was getting difficult to stay in one position for long.

Finally, the Sentenial at the doors announced “The Jedi Knight Seidler” and the doors swung open. A short, fat woman with messy black hair and heavy makeup walked into the room, her mouth curved in a sickeningly sweet smile.

“Masters,” she said, bowing as she reached the center of the room.

“Knight Seidler, late, you are,” Yoda said, the displeasure in his voice evident.

“I apologize, Masters, I was held up at the landing pad and my speeder wouldn’t… work.” Her words trailed off as she saw Obi-Wan, who did not bother to conceal his smirk when her eyes went wide at the sight of his round middle.

Tearing her gaze from Obi-Wan, Emmeline continued with her report.

“In conclusion, the Separatist movement there is very strong and extremely widespread,” she said, hands folded under her robes.

“Then we will send Kit Fisto along with yourself as soon as we can, the movement there must be stopped,” Mace said, his voice heavy with authority.

Emmeline nodded, her eyes straying once more to Obi-Wan, who now had his hands folded over his stomach.

***

“Who’s the father?” Emmeline asked as soon as she was out of the Council Chamber, turning to Kit with desperate eyes.

“Qui Gon, of course,” Kit replied proudly, “They’ve been mated for about a year, and Obi’s about six months along.”

“Well, I supposed I’ll have to congratulate them both at the banquet tonight,” Emmeline replied coldly.

Kit forced a smile as he sent a Force message to Obi-Wan.

***

“Dear one, are you sure you’re up for this?” Qui Gon asked for what seemed to be the seventh time that night, “You haven’t wanted to go to a banquet in a while.”

“I’m sure,” Obi-Wan replied absently, trying to decide what on earth he should wear so he would look presentable.

Sighing, Qui Gon wrapped his arms around Obi-Wan’s shoulders, kissing his temple. “You’ve just been so tired lately, love,” he whispered, “I don’t want you to feel obligated to go.”

“I want to,” Obi-Wan said, turning around to kiss Qui Gon. “Besides,” he added nonchalantly, “I’m sure you don’t want me to leave you alone with Emmeline,” laughing when a look of utter horror passed over Qui Gon’s face before he buried his head in the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck.

“She’s going to be there?” Qui Gon groaned, “Now I don’t want to go.”

“But darling, don’t you want to see the love of your life?” Obi-Wan teased.

“We both know that I only tolerate her because she was Mace’s padawan, and I have a great deal of respect for him,” Qui Gon said, moving one hand to rest under Obi-Wan’s bump, “And we both also know that you’re the love of my life.”

“I would hope so,” Obi-Wan replied, moving a hand under his belly to twine his fingers with Qui Gon’s, “Seeing as I’m very pregnant with your child.”

“And you’re carrying him beautifully, might I add,” Qui Gon whispered, kissing Obi-Wan’s shoulder before drawing away.

“Hush,” Obi-Wan said, blushing.

“Force, your child has made me fat,” he lamented, examining his reflection in the mirror.

“You know that’s nowhere close to being true,” Qui Gon said in his Alpha voice, drawing a shiver out of the younger man.

“Yes, Alpha,” Obi-Wan said submissively. His Omega side had been much more powerful during his pregnancy. At 5 months, Qui Gon could bring him to his knees by tone alone.

“We’ll continue this conversation later,” Qui Gon continued, his face stern, making Obi-Wan feel much younger than he actually was, “But if we don’t leave now, we’re going to be late.”

“Well, this would go much faster if I could tie my kriffing boots,” Obi-Wan grunted, sighing in relief when Qui Gon knelt and did it for him, pressing a kiss to his belly before standing fully and entwining his hand with Obi-Wan’s. “Ready, dear one?”

***

The banquet hall was exquisite. Chandeliers glistened brightly, their ornamental crystals projecting beads of reflected light on the walls. The food was subpar as usual, but that wasn’t why they were here.

“Qui Gon! It’s been so long!’ The voice of Emmeline rang out across the room as she addressed 

Qui Gon.

“Yes, it has been a while,” Qui Gon replied, silently praying for Obi-Wan, who had gone to talk to Mace, to save him. While Emmeline continued talking, Qui Gon glanced around the room, searching for his mate who was leaning against the wall and smirking as he watched Qui Gon struggle to extricate himself from the conversation.

Help, he shot down their bond. Obi-Wan only smirked. I want her to think she has a chance before I shoot her down, he replied.

Vengeful creature.

Only for you.

“Emmeline-” Qui Gon began.

“Please, call me Em, my darling Qui, after all, we’ve known each other for our whole lives,” Emmeline said sweetly, reaching for two glasses of black ale and handing one to Qui Gon, who accepted it reluctantly. “To new beginnings,” she said, holding up her glass.

“Alpha, darling, there you are!” 

Qui Gon could have sighed in relief at the sound of his mate walking towards them. As soon as Obi-Wan was near, he gently grabbed him by the hand, pulling him into a brief kiss. “Hello, my love,” he said warmly, bending down to kiss Obi-Wan’s belly, “Hello, little one.”

“The Chancellor is about to give a toast,” Obi-Wan said, completely ignoring Emmeline, “And Mace wanted to talk to you about the upcoming mission.”

Qui Gon knew the last part was a lie. When Obi-Wan reached his third month of pregnancy, Qui Gon absolutely refused to leave the temple for longer than a week. Since then, Qui Gon had been teaching classes on the Living Force while Obi-Wan continued to (try) to train Anakin.

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” Emmeline said spitefully, her beady eyes fixed on Obi-Wan’s belly, “Is it twins?”

“No, just one,” Obi-Wan replied sweetly, placing a hand on his belly.

“Hmm, I would have thought that you were carrying twins,” she mused. The not-so-subtle dig was not missed by either of the Jedi masters.

“No, he’s just an excellent Omega,” Qui Gon said, pressing a kiss to Obi-Wan’s cheek, Alpha instincts flaring as he felt Obi-Wan’s feelings of inadequacy through their bond.

“Hmm.” Emmeline shrugged, her eyes still narrowed. “It was nice to see you, Qui Gon.”

***

Qui Gon sat, fuming, as he watched Obi-Wan play with his food, his cheeks slightly red. He knew what was going on in his Omega’s head, knew what effect Emmeline’s words had on him, and knew that Obi-Wan, no matter how much he tried to hide it, was self-conscious about his growing baby bump.

Darling, are you alright? He asked.

The response came a second too fast. Fine, just not hungry.

Sighing, Qui Gon returned to his meal, making sure to send reassuring words down their bond every few minutes. Obi-Wan remained silent, his thoughts locked behind a barrier that Qui Gon could have knocked down easily. It wasn’t as though he was trying to keep Qui Gon out, it was simply a request for privacy.

***

“Well that was long,” Qui Gon said wearily as they stepped into their quarters.

“Too long,” Obi-Wan agreed, throwing off his cloak and sinking onto the couch, “Do not ever let me go to one of those again.”

Qui Gon smiled, sitting beside him and letting Obi-Wan rest his head on his shoulder. He chuckled when he heard soft snores coming from the Omega. Shaking Obi-Wan gently, he grinned when his husband looked up at him with murderous, sleep-muddled eyes.

“Let’s go to bed,” he suggested, moving to stand. Obi-Wan said nothing, simply wrapping his arms tighter around Qui Gon. “Obi, come on.”

“No,” Obi-Wan groaned, “Let me stay here.”

“Under normal circumstances, I would, but you'll thank me later for not leaving you to sleep on a lumpy couch hunched over and pregnant, dear one,” Qui Gon said gently, “Do you want me to carry you?”

“ ‘M too heavy,” Obi-Wan mumbled.

Qui Gon’s heart ached as he guessed the deeper meaning behind those words. Gently, he picked Obi-Wan up, careful to support his back, which had begun to ache under the strain of a growing baby, and carried him to their bedroom, laying him down in the soft nest Obi-Wan had made 3 months earlier.

Once he made sure that Obi-Wan was comfortable, he began removing Obi-Wan’s clothes, knowing he preferred to sleep in the blankets covered with their scents. However, when he reached his tunic, Obi-Wan sleepily swatted his hands away. “Not the belly,” he murmured, “Don’t want you to see me like this.”

Qui Gon felt tears prick his eyes as he gently rubbed the swell that contained their child. How could Obi-Wan not see just how beautiful Qui Gon thought he was? 

“Dear one, please let me take off your shirt,” Qui Gon whispered, “It’ll help you sleep.”

“No,” Obi-Wan said, his eyes fluttering open, “Too big.”

Defeated, Qui Gon moved to lie next to Obi-Wan. “You’re absolutely stunning,” he whispered, knowing Obi-Wan had fallen back asleep. Gently, he undid the tunic and slid it off Obi-Wan’s torso, leaning down to kiss his belly. “Hello, little one,” he mumbled against the taut skin, smiling when a foot pressed against his nose, stretching the skin of Obi-Wan’s belly slightly, “When you get here, you’ll help me remind your papa how handsome he is, right?”

Another kick, this time against the hand Qui Gon had placed on Obi-Wan’s belly. “Thank you, little one,” he whispered, pressing one more kiss to Obi-Wan’s belly before he leaned back against the pillows, leaving one hand to rest protectively over the swell of Obi-Wan’s belly.

[painterslogbook]

Summary - January 2023

Goals for next month:

•I want to increase the number of work hours

•I want to make myself draw regardless of my mood or energy level

•I want to draw more realistically

I want to complete the underpainting for the paralysed painting

I want to finish the documentation if the Sunday trip

I want to make at least 2 of the 4 drawing ideas about the Sunday trip a reality

Ars poetica:

The artist has responsibility in two areas. Firstly, they must work to their full ability to produce the highest quality possible. Secondly, they shouldn't decieve the viewer by calling something art which they themself know is either not honest art, or worse than their own, or overall standard.

This concerns ceramics as well, and when working on a comission. This is so, because as an artist I do not make art for payment. I make art because that’s the talent God has granted me and I want to use my gift wisely. I want to understand what message or mission He has for me. If I get paid, that’s great, but I’ll continue to make art even if nobody buys it, or no one bets an eye about it. My only task that I must fulfill is to create pictures or other kind of art to the best of my ability. I am not responsible to make it well known. I cannot know who my art is designed to reach, maybe they haven’t even been born yet. Though I think it more likely that we should connect to our own time, that we live right now, because our paintings are to speak to our contemporaries, acquaintances first and foremost.

There are two areas, as I see it. The first is when you create pieces that you dream of, which convey a message that you understand to be important. The second is when you get comissioned and use your artistic ability and vision to portray something, to make something beautiful come to life, which you wouldn’t have otherwise created. This desereves to get the same amount of attention as your private work, because this piece will get created with or without you. And if you happen to be the one in charge you should make it as good as you can. Why would you create something lesser, why would you create something ugly or haphazard or mediocre, isn’t the world polluted with enough rubbish already?

Useful:

The trick is to take a wip photo right away when you start to get satisfied or feel that you achieved something. That's a turning point for carelessness which will mislead you if you don't check the structure then.

Searching for my task:

First, I have the ability to decorate beautifully churches and rooms used by the congregation. I am thinking about churches which are without ornamentation or spaces that are bland or downright ugly. In short, spaces which could use someone's ability and taste to become more suitable places of worship. This would mean approaching heads of churches in the city. I'd offer my service without pay, of course, if only asking for financing the materials.

(Not related to drawing) I often have the feeling I am clueless as to how I could follow the Messiah's teaching in deeds, how I could serve. I have had an inkling that my missing inclination to tend the sick or to volunteer at a homeless centre is a sign that my part is different. Today I found out how I too can contribute. The pastor said that "people meet you but it's God they come closer to in the process".

Note to self:

I mustn't let ANYTHING distract me from painting, not ceramics, not Russian, books, nor clothes. Allow no other desire to get hold of you.

Start every session with prayer AND раз ��ва три, even if you don’t feel that you need help.

BUT I LIKE CLassical realism very much. I enjoy the painterly aura, the romanticism, the mood. I'd be pleased if my hands created a settled realistic picture. I could use it not to amuse by painting the idyllic or exotic but to compose a picture of something that I must say to the benefit of people.

total number of days: 26

number of days on which I could’ve drawn but didn’t: 11

days I did draw: 16

Ceramics:

My peppermint teapot broke and I sought help in the Facebook group of ceramicist, Ferenc Halmos’s comments were the most insightful. I’ve learnt that neither low, nor high-fire pieces can tolerate heatshock if the clay body and the galze are a bad fit. Low-fire pieces are at a lower risk of breaking if the clay is less dense. This led me to start a testing process. The piece must be heated up to 200°C, then cooled down rapidly by dipping it into 20°C water. Some recipes suggest less heat and ice-water. Digitalfire.com is also a good resource.

[brownandblackpearls]

🦇𝒯he  𝒱isitor (Alucard Tepes x BlackReader) Pt.5

PART 5 SUMMARY:

Alucard has been keeping you at arm’s length, and the tension it’s causing is coming to a head. Your host is still a supernatural creature of the night, but you have little patience for being left in the dark. You face off with your host, realizing that you’ve been falling faster and harder than you ever intended to...

─── Alucard x black female reader

─── imagery + fiction

─── explicit smut

─── Fantasy, vampires, hurt/comfort, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, magic user, cute bats, gardening, cooking, cottagecore MC, castlecore Alucard.

☾ previous. ☾ next.

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As the days wear on and autumn’s bite begins to linger in between the scents of the summer, you spend the week watching Alucard prepare the castle for the cold months to come.

Some preparations take him deep into the stone hallways where even you and your prying eyes cannot always follow. 

You’ve been here for weeks now, and have yet to see even half of the castle’s entirety, despite daily explorations. You’re beginning to find your way around with the little that you do recognize, and it pleases you to make a more familiar place out of Alucard’s home every day. Each day that passes where you don’t find something frightening around a corner is simply another day where you can relax just a bit more in the grand fortress.

You spy Alucard one day, heading off to another location unbeknownst to you. You hesitate before finally calling out to him, suddenly realizing that the annoyance of going hours if not days without your host is getting to you.

“Where are you going?”

“Never you mind,” he responds easily, continuing on.

“More preparations?”

“Something of the sort.”

“Could I be of any help?”

Alucard looks at you then, thinking quietly for a beat before answering.

“Certainly. In the library, if you’d like. You haven’t finished ‘The Regalia of the Fourth Centurion’ yet, have you?”

You pause, taken aback a bit. His flat redirection that normally would’ve irritated you instead turned into something else entirely in your mind. His library is infinitely large and it would take a steady, trained, focused attention to not only notice what you read in there, but to recall whether or not you had completed it.

He is watching you when you cannot see. And taking notes, it seems.

“You keep track?” you ask bluntly.

Alucard seems to remember himself before turning with a rush of cloak and walking away.

You watch him leave, left behind in the darkening corridor.

Sometimes, you wonder if it’s really seasonal changes he plans when he wanders into the deep hallways, or if it’s just that he knows not what to say to his new, long-term guest.

“He must not have had many guests before,” you wonder quietly to yourself, watching the shadows climb.

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You prepare breakfast and dinner nightly. It seems to temper Alucard’s melancholic mood as the days stretch on, and only then can you speak together with some more breadth to the conversation besides the meals, the horses or the gardens which you’ve yet to see. Alucard is continuously too busy to show you around it seems, and you are too nervous to venture out alone. Alucard says there are monsters about, and you believe him. He shares bits and pieces of his knowledge, his past encounters in brief mentions or condensed tales. Despite his lack of detail, you can tell he knows so much more than what he says. The short stories are enough to draw intrigue and wonder.

Still, he is not always as revealing as you’d like. 

You’ve spent ample time planning things in the perfect way to gather information on your host. Perhaps you’re a bit obsessed…But he is endlessly fascinating. And you feel the feeling is mutual, as he also uses subtle maneuvers to learn about your life and past.

You will give in when he does. Who is winning the battle, you’re not entirely sure.

You now know that he had a mother. You even know her name. But you do not know her, the kind of person she was or could’ve been. You only know that she is no longer here.

You know that he had a father. A legendarily cruel, powerful father, but a father nonetheless. You know who Dracula is to the outside world—a horror—but you are not so sure who Dracula is to Alucard. 

Somehow, you feel that is what matters more to you.

You only tell as much to Alucard as he tells you. You feel like you don’t have much to hide, but you don’t have to give all your secrets away, now do you? Especially not to someone who won’t divulge theirs. 

The task is mighty difficult. You find yourself wanting to spill your insides to him in the quiet evenings, warmed by kitchen firelight and gazing out into the night through gothic windows while Alucard sits nearby, staring into the embers of the fireplace.

You find yourself treading carefully, sometimes. You don’t want to, but…whenever you step too close to matters of the heart, Alucard fades away into the darkest hallways of the castle where no light can touch. He’ll never miss a mealtime with you, but he won’t stay if he feels his vulnerabilities being pulled out from his grasp. His shield is a strong one.

Stronger than yours, maybe.

It upsets you, for a bit. You can’t understand…why won’t he just trust you? You’ve done nothing to warrant all this trepidation. You even have an inkling of a feeling that Alucard…wants to trust you. You sense that he used to be the kind of person who shared things freely…why else would he have such a tight grip on it all now? 

He’s been hurt, it seems.

But so have you. God knows you’ve been hurt in the past. And you’ve been trying, haven’t you? It was no walk in the park for you to lay your life in the hands of someone who once threatened it. You lived long enough to see his redemption, but that redemption only came about because you were open…and had little choice in the matter, at the time.

Can’t he do the same?

It all comes to a head, one night at dinner. 

“I’d like to help you harvest and prepare the garden for winter,” you say into the quiet evening. 

You want something more beyond strained lunches and dinners. You want…you want…well you’re not sure how to name it, or if you even can right now. But you simply understand that you require more than this.

‘Maybe I am greedy. But I can live with that.’

Alucard pauses amidst arranging his cutlery. He thinks before speaking.

“You’ve no need to worry yourself over that. This is enough.”

You frown, biting your lip. 

You know he simply means that he doesn't want you overburdening yourself with unnecessary tasks, but you can’t help to feel…that he means these gatherings are enough. These scheduled, organized times. Drawn together by bodily functions of hunger and satiation, but leaving it at that. Nothing more, nothing less. That the surface is enough, that leaving your insecurities and curiosity to stand where they remain is enough.

“It is not enough.”

Alucard’s face seems to harden. He stands, pushing away.

“I see. And what more could you want? You have everything here. Food, shelter, oddities and distractions from ceiling to floor—”

“—I am not a child,” you say quietly against the condescension. “Do not speak to me as such!”

“Why the upset then? What is this really about?”

You can’t hold yourself back and blaze into him, angered by the fact that he would try to obfuscate the plain facts sitting before you both! “You hide away from me—”

“—I sit here before you—”

“—Goodness knows why, because outside of mealtimes I would think I was an immense pest to you—”

“—I dine with you—”

 “—You take me for a fool—” 

Alucard looks away and scoffs as if you’re a mere annoyance interrupting his day, but you follow his gaze, insisting. You know you’re right, you simply know! And if you leave things this way, well then that’s no good now is it?

“You watch when you think I’m not looking, but I know, and it’s...It’s as if…it’s as if you’re bursting to tell me something and you simply never do! Do you know how distressing that is? We can discuss things outside the premise of basic needs like hunger—”

“—Well, that’s just it, isn’t it?” Alucard says, his voice odd. “I’m always hungry. And your food isn’t enough. You should be grateful for the berth I put between us, or else it’d be my teeth in your neck.”

It is like a weight has fallen through the floorboards, and you find yourself speechless.

Since that first day, Alucard never mentions his nature. And never has he threatened you with it.

Until now.

It is quiet for a long moment, and you can feel your chest rise against the lining of your bodice, the skin that the air touches, growing more sensitive by the second. You cannot lie, the skin on your throat tingles, and you can see his piercing eyes take in the sight before shifting back up to you. You look into them, seeking something, anything.

‘A lie. He is lying.’

It is a threat, no doubt. But he is bluffing. You can see it, clear as day. You’d believe it if his gaze held at your jugular, but his eyes keep flitting up to force an intimidation, to check if you see, if you’re afraid. He’s spinning stories.

Why…that is the question you do not know the answer to.

“Why are you lying to me?” you ask, your voice growing far more soft than you intended. 

You can’t help but feel the hurt. He really doesn’t trust you, not after all this time.

Alucard’s eyes widen, and he seems suspended in shock as if he would’ve never expected you to see through the act. 

You sigh and speak, looking at the wooden table.

“You do not take human blood. That much is clear.” You feel your fingers begin to tremor ever so slightly at your side and you shake it off. “You must take me for a fool if you thought that I would believe that horrible attempt at a rebuff, much less scare me away. Maybe I am a fool. I keep trying to...yet…”

You keep trying to draw him in, like a child. And he keeps pulling away. And here you are, upset and fussing, like a babe.

It’s embarrassing. It’s demeaning. You don’t want to beg for trust or affection—

‘Affection? Is that what I wanted?’

Oh no. You’re not going down that road.

Alucard looks caught then, opening his mouth to speak, but pausing.

“If you cannot stand to be near me,” you finish, putting down your napkin on the table, “there is no need to lie. I know how to excuse myself.”

You leave the table then, holding your posture strong until you’re through the doorway before drawing arms around yourself.

‘It isn’t enough. Am I desperate? Am I in too deep? He must know that, surely? Or perhaps..’

Maybe that didn’t go the way you planned….Maybe you were too direct? Maybe he was just dumb. Maybe you both were. Ugh.

Or maybe you were right from the start, and he didn’t want you around. Not truly.

But if that were so…why invite you to remain here in the first place?

It doesn’t make sense. Alucard probably does not despise you…but you’re not entirely sure at this point that he likes you, either.

…And you’re not certain when it began to matter to you so much.

You fist the soft fabric of your dress and dash through the halls, heading for your rooms. 

You feel a fear rise in your throat. 

Will this be your undoing? 

For so, so long, you’d effectively trained yourself on how to not need others. How to not rely on them. You’d fallen through too many safety nets others had built shoddily and sworn would hold you up, you’d seen too many precious things smashed by those who promised to keep them safe for you, too many who promised to keep the bad luck out only to then open the doors of your life to blight and strife, letting them rattle in the wind.

You were your own protector, your own confidante, your own friend…

You were a woman who learned how to do everything…because no one else would. 

Not for you.

You feel a whine try to work its way up your throat but you swallow it back, feeling frantic.

You couldn’t do this again. Growing another attachment that would only break something in you in the end anyway….You’d learned this so long ago…

…but then why were you feeling it now? When did that happen?

You were not this needy this quickly with others before. Never. So why him?

Maybe it had simply been too long since you’d had another human connection that was meant to…last longer than a quick trip through town? Somehow in your mind, permanence in this visit meant that now you could relax and be safe. You could now build relationships. Make friends. Go by another name rather than a passerby.

Only, the other person to do that with…? He didn’t seem up for the task. And that saddened you like nothing else. To finally be ready and be rejected, yet again.

‘Oh!’

After losing yourself in your thoughts, you find that you’ve gotten lost physically.

‘Where am I?’

The halls look unfamiliar now.

Had you not been paying close enough attention?

“Hello…?” You call out, listening to your voice rebound through the deep chassis of the hallway. Nothing echoes back.

“Alucard…?” You try, turning in circles to look at the shadows, hoping that his supernatural hearing overcomes the amount of distance you’ve just put between yourself and him.

The halls are silent as a tomb.

‘Looks like I’m in trouble.’ 

The tables have turned, and you know you’ve made a poor choice venturing this deep into the castle without paying attention. You’ve mapped quite a bit so far since the beginning of your stay, but you were not completely abreast of the monstrous place. To go too deep was to risk getting lost in a manner unknown to you before now.

The shadows rise on the walls as the sun lowers. The moon begins to rise, following the hours rolling by. Time seems to stretch ever onward and the silence only grows heavier and heavier.

You feel worry rising but do your best to suppress it, thinking of what to do. You’ve stayed put and yet help has not come of it. You may have to find your own way.

The dark is oppressing, and something in you feels as though the castle has changed, somehow.

Stepping forward, you pause, suddenly hearing something shift in the shadows.

“...” You open your mouth to call out, but instinct stops you.

The sound of something heavy and large draws near. You draw your back tight to the wall, knowing that it may not be enough to camouflage you from what comes this way.

You listen into the silence, watching the patch of moonlight that illuminates the pitch black hallway before you.

Something white, clawed, and large steps into the light. 

“Oh!”

A wolf the color of the moon emerges, and you feel your jaw drop.

‘My!’

It draws near, impossibly large and sentient. It draws near in sure and steady steps, and you find yourself rooted to the spot.

“Easy boy…” you try in the softest voice you have, showing your empty palms up to the animal as if it’d do any good against a strong creature such as this. But you have to try. “I’m no threat, see? Easy…”

The wolf simply watches.

You see it then. Its eyes. 

His eyes.

“I...Alucard?” you gasp.

The wolf huffs, stepping forward to push a soft, shiny wet nose into the flesh of your palm before brushing past you intentionally.

You turn to keep eyes on him then, following after with your skirts floundering around you.

“You…how…?”

The wolf continues onward, and you simply follow after in disbelief.

“I didn’t know you had different forms!”

Of course, he does not answer back. He likely can’t.

“Did you…can you turn back?”

No answer.

“Do you need assistance? Is this a curse?”

You lean down to press a kiss to Alucard’s forehead, ignoring the instinct to stay out of range of his sharp maw before standing back to wait patiently. When nothing happens except you learning that wolves can express confusion quite clearly, you hum to yourself and think.

A tug on your dress pulls you out of your thoughts and you look to see the white wolf release your skirts from it’s hold before padding ahead into the shadows.

It doesn’t take long for you to follow after, sweeping into the dark.

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AN: Do not under any circumstances copy, repost, or edit any of my work. If you see someone do so, please let me know.

☾ previous. ☾ next. 

☾ check my blog for more imagines

[neonacity]

NOCTURNE: RENJUN X READER | CHAPTER 2

PAIRING: YANDERE! RENJUN X READER

NOCTURNE: A DREAMY PIECE OF WORK RELATING TO THE NIGHT OR DARKNESS IN GENERAL.

“And what if… It is the villain you fall for? What then?”

Genre/Warnings: minor character death, yandere/manipulative Renjun, cheating, abusive relationship dynamics/marriage. This is the third part of my Dark Fairytale series with Dream’s 00 line. It has been months since I posted the last chapter so I do suggest a quick re-read of the first one for a refresher. This is loosely connected to Haechan’s one shot also linked below: 

> CHAPTER 1

Orphic | Haechan x Reader | Royalty!AU

Nighted | Jaemin x Reader | Vampire!AU

Summary:

Renjun’s nature has always given him assurance over one thing: that regardless of which century or lifetime he lives, he’ll never run out of love and affection from anyone he sets his desires on. As a Gancanagh—a fairy born to seduce and claim mortals—he was designed to be the object of lust and want of everyone, which is why it felt like the universe was finally punishing him when he finally came across the only woman he could ever want, but never have.

The gentle clinking of porcelain and the soft rustling of pages were the only sounds that broke the suffocating silence in the room. You were sitting beside a window overlooking the manor grounds below, a drawing book with a half finished portrait resting on your lap. Your mother sat across from you like a perfect porcelain doll, her eyes the only ones moving as she continued with her silent reading. Every now and then, she would flip a page or take a sip of her tea which have long since turned lukewarm after sitting too long. You didn't mind each other, and you've long since checked out from the company as you stared blankly at the view beyond.

Your manicured gardens glistened under the sun like a gem, but its beauty didn't strike any positive feelings in you as you gazed at it silently. If anything, it caused a bitter taste to bloom at the back of your throat the longer that you looked at it. Silently, you wondered just how much it must have cost again to pay for the ground's monthly upkeep. Its grandness was the exact opposite of what is going on inside your manor and you wondered which of your mother's jewels have been sold off again just so your family could keep up the front of luxury you obviously cannot afford anymore.

"Have you heard from the Huangs again?"

Your train of thought was cut short by the woman's voice across from you. Looking around, you slightly rearranged yourself on your seat and picked up your pencil again as a distraction. She wasn't looking at you, her eyes on the pages of her book still, but she must have noticed what you had been thinking earlier. You cleared your throat softly before offering an answer. 

"I have not, mother. I haven't really come across their paths again," you answered as you continued with the shading of the portrait you've been working on. You felt her gaze finally settle on you at your emotionless reply.

"You are in the same art class as one of their boys, right?"

"The younger one, yes. Renjun Huang."

"Ah, the orphan."

Your hands stilled over her words. You barely noticed the way your fingers grasped the pencil you were holding, your knuckles almost turning white as you pressed the charcoal harder against the paper. The bitter taste on your tongue was back and you tried your best to swallow it without saying anything.

"I heard his older brother visits him every once in a while."

You don't know if it's her dismissive tone that was grating on your nerves or the way she entirely pushed the younger Huang into the background, but it took you everything to relax your jaw so you could give a curt reply.

"He does. I have come across Lord Yun a few weeks back during one of my classes but I have not seen him again since."

This time, it was your mother's turn to fall silent. You already have a hunch of what she was thinking, but you were still taken by surprise when she actually voiced it out.

"I think you should start considering being close friends with his younger brother."

You looked up, disbelief written all over your features.

"Why?"

She raised a well-kept brow as if you just asked a senseless question.

"Because you have more chances of being friends with him. You are closer in age and you see each other more. He can give you the window to get to know Lord Yun better."

"Mother—"

"They might have reached out for an engagement proposal but they are moving too slow. I don't understand why they are taking forever."

"I am not going to force a friendship with someone because of that!"

The look she gave you made the words instantly die in your throat. For the first time in such a long time, you noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the lines that have crept into her face. She is still the stunning beauty that she is, but you also can't deny the emotions she could barely conceal beneath her polished perfection.

Anger. Desperation. Exhaustion.

There was the obvious tiredness of dealing with the fear of falling from grace and the exhaustion of always putting up a fake front. She is desperate.

Desperate enough to sell off her daughter.

"I don't think you have an understanding of what is going on here," she said coldly now, her eyes piercing you with a chill that sank deep in your bones. "You do not have a choice, silly child. None of us do. Your marriage is the only thing that can save our family after your failure of a father gambled off all of his inheritance and mine. That chair you are sitting on, even the silk on your back, all of those will be gone soon if nothing changes."

"And for some reason it is my responsibility to do something when I—"

The sound of porcelain breaking and crashing cut off your words. Your mother stood up so fast from her seat that she accidentally swiped the tea set, causing all of its contents to spill on the floor. You looked up at her in shock, then at the mess on the rug where the dark liquid spread like the color of dried up blood.

"I will not take any words from an ungrateful brat like you," she hissed at you now with venom, her voice soft but chilling. Her hands shook at her sides, now rid of the rings that used to decorate them. "I know you cannot survive a life of poverty just like the rest of us, so unless you can give up everything that you have, I will not accept any talking back from you."

You were frozen in fear and the impact of her words, but you barely had any chance to recover when a knock echoed from outside the door. That seemed to be a wakeup call for your mother as she suddenly turned to stare at the direction of the noise. She let a few seconds pass, gathering herself, before finally calling out to the visitor.

"Come in."

The pair of you watched as a uniformed maid came in with a silver platter in her hands. With quick steps, she crossed the threshold and gave a brief curtsy before presenting what she had been carrying with her thin hands. Resting on the silver tray she was holding was a plain black envelope held closed by a golden wax seal that glimmered under the room’s light. 

"Madam, this was just sent by horse."

Your eyes widened when you finally had a closer look at the emblem. You tried  your best to keep calm, but you still couldn’t help the slight shaking of your fingers as you unconsciously fisted them on the fabric of your skirt. Your mother did a better job at masking her reaction, but the look in her eyes told her that she also realized the same as she reached out for the letter. She tore the cover open with a well manicured nail and didn’t waste any time to pull out the card nestled inside.

The silence that passed was brief but loaded. You watched as she slowly read out the words there before putting it down again. She then looked at you, a glint now brewing in her eyes despite her unreadable expression.

"Air out her best dresses and make a call to our fitters," she said calmly to the maid despite her gaze staying on you. You returned her order with a confused look, to which she only slightly smiled in reply.

"She has a ball to go to."

******* "I can't believe we're here," Seri whispered from your side as she partly hid her face from the folding fan she was holding. You nodded numbly, barely registering her words, despite your mind buzzing with the same sentiments she has. Your eyes gave your surroundings another quick scan, as if you're expecting that everything unfolding in front of you right now will turn out to be a dream in a blink of an eye. 

It didn’t. You really are in the palace ballroom, an expansive space made with a combination of gilded black and white marble. Flocks of people floated around in their puffy dresses and well-pressed suits, half of their faces covered in their choice of tasteful masks. The soft sound of chatter and glasses clinking together made you even more anxious, and you nervously tried to fix your own mask, a simple white and gold lace number that gave justice to the color of your eyes. It provided interest to your otherwise virginal dress, a white number also trimmed with lace and pearls. You hated how innocent and pure it made you look, but your mother insisted, saying it was the perfect choice for the occasion.

"We all know why you are going there. Seeing you in white will surely make Lord Yun give you that ring."

You quickly fished for a flute of sparkling wine from one of the uniformed butlers roving around with their silver carts before your nervousness could get best of you. You thought your nerves should have calmed down by now, but you were still on edge for some reason you really couldn't put your finger on. The only good thing about the night so far was that you also have Seri by your side since  the Huangs' invitation extended to an additional person to join you and your parents’ party. If you're going to be honest, she is the only person keeping you grounded right now from the flood of stimuli overloading your senses.

"It's the King." Your dear friend's hushed whisper broke you from your internal battle with your nerves. Looking around, your gaze landed on the grand staircase situated at the head of the room just in time as a boy around your age emerged at the top of it. The rest of the room fell into a hush as they watched him move with innate grace, his gold trimmed royal suit catching the light from the chandeliers above as he made his way down the steps. Even with his mask covering half of his face, nobody can deny his  charismatic aura as he moved confidently under the watchful gazes of his subjects. 

He was the center of everyone's attention, but he wasn't the only one receiving the admirable stares of the crowd. Your eyes particularly slipped towards the girl silently shadowing his side, her arm linked loosely with the young King's elbow. Unlike the other royal who seems to sparkle with wit and natural charisma, his muse was silent, withdrawn, and maybe even a little cold with the way she carried herself. Clad in deep blue silk, she was the exact opposite of her consort's brightness… like summer and winter coming together. You could assume that she was also very beautiful from the curve of her features that you could make out under her mask, though she possessed the type of perfection that will seem to cut you when you get too close.

"That's King Donghyuck…?"

"King Haechan. His Royal Highness apparently decided to take a different name when he took over the throne."

You and Seri whispered in the softest of voices as the couple finally reached the ballroom floor. Everyone parted like the Red Sea as they started to make way towards the head table on a raised stage at the other end of the ballroom, the guests bowing respectfully as they passed them by. You did the same before they could even reach your spot and you saw Seri mirror your actions in your peripheral vision.

"Who is the girl?" You whispered again without even lifting your head.

"The new Queen. Nobody knows who she is and where she came from, but she was immediately granted the crown when His Highness ascended."

Before you even realized what you were doing, you found yourself raising your eyes just in time as the couple passed by. Immediately, you froze as your gaze locked with the girl who seemed to already be studying you from under her long lashes. You blinked. You weren't sure if it was just your imagination, but you thought you saw a ghost of a smile quirk the corners of her lips before she broke her stare on you. It was the type of smile that looked to be full of secrets... as if she was silently pleased by something only she understands.

"Welcome to the Summer Palace," your attention was broken by the light and lilting voice of the King as he turned to finally address the room. "This celebration had been a long time coming, but I'm glad all of you here were still able to make time to celebrate my recent ascension. Summer has finally come to our lands after years of unforgiving winter and it is rightful for us to show our thankfulness to the heavens with tonight's festivities. I expect everyone here to drink and dance like you've never done before. The night doesn't end until I say so."

The crowd's soft hum of agreement was only barely heard as the deep notes of orchestra music filled the space in perfect timing. Curiously, you looked around and saw the rest of the guests exchanging smiles and coupling together to get ready for the night's first dance. You didn't waste any time to turn to Seri, your hand already circling around her wrist to pull her out of the way.

"I think we should go to a calmer area first. We'll be in the way for the—"

"My Lady, would you care to have a dance?"

You turned on your heel promptly to find the source of the polite voice that called out to you. The boy in question stood just a couple of feet away from where you are, his lone form standing out in the sea of couples already starting to sway with the music. He looked radiant in his white suit and his eyes sparkled with humble shyness, but there is no mistaking the beauty of the light brown gaze behind his mask.

You felt your heart stutter as your lips formed his name. 

"Lord Yun."

******* "You look very beautiful tonight."

Yun’s voice sounded clear despite the classical music filling up the halls of the ballroom. Your eyes fell at a spot on his chest, right on the brooch bearing his family’s crest that he was wearing with his tuxedo. You could feel your cheeks pooling up with heat under his soft gaze and you couldn't be more thankful for the hundredth time that night that you had a mask to cover up your childish blush. Clearing your throat softly, you tried your best to return the compliment with the steadiest voice you can offer.

"As you are, Sir. Thank you very much for extending this invitation to us. It is indeed an experience to be invited to the royal ball."

"Ah… My father was a close confidante of the former king and Renjun himself is a same-age friend of his highness. It was his idea to reach out to close allies of the family. I… hope we didn't surprise you too much when we sent the invitation over," he answered with a slightly sheepish tone as he skillfully guided you to turn in his arms. That made you finally lift your eyes towards his face for the first time since you started to dance, an almost ironic smile pulling at your lips in answer.

"No… my family was very happy to receive it," you replied evenly and with practiced calm. How could they hate it when they were already presented with the golden ticket to the kingdom's highest of social circles, right? And before you even got married, too. 

"I have met them earlier and they were very gracious as usual. I believe they've joined my parents for dinner tonight. Perhaps we can sit with them later… if you wish?"

The way he phrased that question was so careful and calculated that it also urged you to take a couple of seconds before giving your reply. To be honest, you are very much aware that the stage of playing innocent about his agenda has long passed now, but that doesn't mean that you are entirely ready about what comes next. Sending over his intention to be one of the candidates for your hand is one thing, but unlocking the opportunity for your family to join their inner, more exclusive circle has pushed the envelope even more. In the world you live in, courting is more like a game and a dance. Each step is calculated, each sway hiding a meaning of its own.

Unfortunately for you, you've made yourself a participant to that very game the moment you stepped foot into this ball. It may not have been fully your choice, but it is what it is, no matter which angle you try to look at it. Your parents know it, as does his family, and now, the pair of you are expected to continue on with the dance that has already been put into motion.

You didn't like it… but it isn't like you are entirely hateful towards it, too. You've always known that an arranged marriage is what's waiting for you at the end of the line, and looking at your current predicament, you think you could have done worse. The man standing in front of you right now is everything a woman your age and standing could ever wish for in a husband so surely, you are not getting the short end of the stick here. Not once have Yun imposed his presence on you, despite the rank and wealth of his family. Even now, he was still giving you the choice to say no to something if it wasn't within your comforts. He is kind… and that holds a lot of weight for someone who hasn't been at the receiving end of it for so long.

Yes, you may not be in love with him, but he is definitely someone you can learn to love.

"Yes… I would be honored to meet your parents, my Lord."

The music around you shifted, urging the two of you to get closer just as you said those words. Yun pulled you in a little bit closer against him, but left enough space to respect your personal boundaries even as he smiled down on you radiantly. It was you who took the extra step to close the distance a little bit more as your lips tilted to form the first genuine smile you've given in such a long time.

*******

“Don’t you find it incredibly ironic, how fate seems to find its own way to spite us even without the help of black magic?”

Renjun’s gaze didn’t waver from the couple swaying gracefully on the edge of the dance floor despite the new visitor joining his company. He was currently standing next to one of the farthest windows in the room a few feet away from the crowd, his form partly covered by the shadows from the darkness outside. Instead of answering the question, he silently lifted the flute of wine he was holding to his lips with the hope of washing down the bitter taste coating his tongue.

"Shouldn't you be sitting prettily next to your King, your Highness?" He tried to ask calmly after downing the golden liquid from his glass. Light laughter answered his question, the sound grating at his already raw nerves.

A girl in a blue dress took a step closer to where he was, the gems in her silk gown catching some of the slivers of moonlight streaming from the windows. Her eyes were also set on the couple and she leaned her head just a little bit to the side as her perfect lips upturned into an amused smile. It took Renjun everything not to turn towards the her to give her a poisonous look.

"Ah… Renjun. I can't believe that I'll actually witness your turn to pine for someone this soon. It is so amusing, a Gancanagh falling in love with a human. I have to say… of all the curses I have ever given, yours might be my favorite."

His fingers flexed around the stem of the wine glass he was holding as her taunting words filled the charged air between them. He hated the truth behind her jeers, hated the way how he couldn't even manage to mask the waves of jealousy coursing through his veins at the moment. He watched as his brother slightly bent over the woman in his arms, causing her to laugh at whatever it is he just whispered. His sharp eyes didn't miss the way her eyes sparkled with genuine happiness, one emotion that she hadn't granted him ever in the many times they've come face to face.

"I guess you should be thanking me for giving you a source of amusement? Surely your life has gone dull after you let a mortal man claim you as his," he shot back, the venom in his voice now barely concealed by his soft tone. A soft sigh fanned his cheek in answer and he saw the other move to stand closer to him in his peripheral vision.

"I may have lost my freedom, but at least I am with someone who loves me with all of his heart. I don't think we have the same predicament, when the apple of your eye can't even bear to spare you a look. Maybe you should skin your brother alive and adopt his face so she could give you some of her time?"

"She is not in love with him."

"Yet. She is not in love with him… yet."

For the first time that night Renjun finally moved to direct his glare at the woman. Dark red embers glowed from the depths of his brown eyes, giving a glimpse of his true nature hidden beneath his mortal facade. Anyone who would have seen him now would think he is a creature fresh from a nightmare—all angles and darkness—but even the slip of his true form didn't move the sorceress standing in front of him. Instead, she met his silent wrath with a slow smile, her own eyes glowing blue, matching his fire with her ice.

The moment lasted for no more than a few seconds, but it was enough to drop the temperature of the radius of the room where they were currently standing. He was the first one to snap back to his mortal glamor, his appearance shifting to his old self. His lips also tipped at the corners, reflecting the other’s look of amusement. 

"You're right. She should fall in love with my brother as soon as possible," he drawled, his tongue rolling over the word ‘brother’ with malicious grace. The girl in front of him raised her brow, intrigued by his change of tone. "That will only make it sweeter for me once I snatch her from him."

The queen's jaw visibly set at the obvious connotation of his tone. She didn't say anything and Renjun took the chance to take a step closer to her to reach out for a tendril of hair that escaped the intricate braid holding up her crown. Burning black ice instantly coated the tips of his fingers when he touched her, but that didn't stop him from gently caressing her locks between his thumb and pointer finger.

"You might have cursed me, but I think you've forgotten what I can still do. Do you know what happens when a Gancanagh falls in love, my Queen?" He whispered, his voice soft and lilting enough to make the moon outside weep and sigh.

"They stop at nothing to get who they want… Even at the cost of mortal lives."

******* You gave a perfect turn in time with the orchestra's bellowing notes that filled the room. Not too far from you, you could hear Seri's melodious laughter as she also did the same in the arms of her own partner. You didn't know how long you had been dancing, but you didn't really mind the slight ache building at the back of your heels as you felt Yun's hands settle politely on your hip again. You looked at him with a smile and he returned the gesture with a slight bow of his head. 

"Are you tired? Maybe we should sit down for a bit?"

You were just about to answer when the soft sounds of strings filled the ballroom again. Before you could even say anything, you felt a slight tug on your arm that made you take a few steps back. You looked around to see Seri beaming at you, her face glowing and eyes dancing with excitement. It was obvious with just a glance just how much she was enjoying the night.

"It's the mixed dance! We have to go and join!"

Both you and Lord Yun chuckled at the girl's reaction at the same time. Looking at him, he gave you a polite nod as he stepped away and let go of his hold on your hip. Before Seri could even entirely whisk you away, he reached out for your hand and gave it a gentle kiss. The gentle feel of his lips against your gloved hand made your heart stutter the same time an unknown feeling bloomed in your chest.

"I'll see you later, my Lady."

You were thankful for your friend for pulling you towards the opposite side of the ballroom because otherwise, you would have stood there longer just staring after the man even as he melted with the crowd. You were still a little out of it when the music started picking up, your body merely moving on autopilot as the other girls forming the dance line started swaying in beat with the music. The next thing you know, you were once again lost in a sea of skirts blooming like petals with every turn. Around you, people behind masks linked arms with each other before letting go to move on again to another person.

It was so addictive… the high of it all. The music, the sound of laughter, even the melodious tapping of heels almost put you in a trance. You twirled from arm to arm with practiced grace, floating from one gentleman to another at every rise of the musical notes. Smiles and compliments blurred together until they formed a cacophony that only made you want to move more. When the music finally started to swell to a crescendo, your heart matched it with the way it danced in your chest.

One step, two steps, a glide to the right. The strings sang beautifully with their high notes and the low notes from the bass supported their peak with their resounding hums. You tipped your face a little upwards and closed your eyes as you made one last turn to match the harmony, only stopping when you finally felt yourself slip in another person's arms—your last and final partner for the night. You felt fingers settle gently on your hips before pulling you in slowly as the last parting note of the orchestra rang in the air. A small smile quirked your lips and you moved in closer before opening your eyes again.

And then you froze.

His black mask covered the perfection of his features, but there is no mistaking who those dark eyes belonged to, nor the lips that slowly smiled at you.

Renjun dug his nails a tad bit harder against the silk of your dress as you turned into stone in his arms.

"You almost lost your balance there. It's fine…"

"I got you."

CHAPTER 3

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A/N: So... I don’t even know if people still remember this story, but here’s the second chapter after MONTHS of waiting. I wasn’t entirely 100 percent satisfied with how I wrote this, but I decided to get this out because otherwise this will just rot in my drafts. Tagging the people here who requested to be notified before! <3

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