#i have way to many thoughts on this stuff and it drives me INSANE
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
purplehoodie09 · 1 year ago
Text
AU where foxybro puts the collective group braincell together in his brain for a second there and realizes fredbear doesn't actually have any safety mechanism whatsoever and maybe they shouldnt put the kids head in the chomp chomp crusher 3000
88 notes · View notes
choslut · 2 months ago
Text
˖ ࣪ ، ◞ せ⌇ BLACKOUT. featuring tartaglia.
Tumblr media
↻ the 11th of the fatui harbingers has some... questionable kinks.
tags : asphyxiation, choking, dry humping, sparring kink, hate sex, light dirty talk, death threats, semi-public sex, light spanking, clit slapping, squirting, creampie, loss of consciousness // wc. 1k
author's note : another late one.. don't worry, the next one is all lined up n ready in my drafts !! this is most likely the freakiest one yet bc why does tartaglia have a sparring kink... also this is the heaviest one yet too so please mind sharp of the tags !! someone passes out in this one so be warned. i know you alr know the drill, notes n reblogs are ALWAYS appreciated here but can i remind u not to spam (esp w/o a follow) because that can decrease my reach and my stuff won't show up anymore :( i love you all, thank you for 400 followers and see you in the next one!
this work is NSFW. minors and ageless blogs DO NOT INTERACT.
Tumblr media
“mmm, fuuuck, you’re a feisty one, aren’tcha, doll?”
you didn’t know what you were signing up for when you decided to spar with the 11th of the fatui harbingers. in fact, you were more forced to spar with him than of your own volition. he thought you were pretty, and he thought you would look even prettier pinned underneath him, panting and begging within an inch of your life. 
what ajax didn’t expect, however, was to be flipped on his back with you straddling atop him, hands closed tightly around his neck. he also didn’t expect that it would feel so good.
blood drips from your forehead and your lip is swollen from one to many punches to the face, but fuck you look so beautiful. “you gonna kill me or what?”
“shut up,” you grunt, squeezing harder. “shut up, shut up, shut up.”
you’re driving him damn near insane. you look angry and feral, and it’s a look that only the most determined of warriors wear during battle. 
as of right now, you’re determined to kill him, or at least make him give up. the thing is, you’ve clearly underestimated the man who calls himself the 11th fatui harbinger. 
“are you… hard?” something big and firm protrudes through his trousers, and he looks up at you, lips cracking into a smile. 
“right on the money, angel.” his hips thrust upwards once, his mind growing hazy at the buzz of adrenaline flowing through his veins. “you gonna squeeze tighter? i’m quite liking this.”
you scowl at him. “you’re disgusting, tartaglia.”
“it’s ajax, baby,” he manages to say through his lack-of-oxygen induced haze. “you gonna call me that while you’re chokin’ me out?”
god, you hate him. god, god god, you want him dead, but you can’t suppress the feeling of victory washing over you. you managed to make a harbinger hard, and all you had to do was threaten to kill him. “why would i give you that pleasure?”
“you seem to be happy enough sittin’ on my dick and trying to kill me, baby, the least you could do is call me by my real name, no?” he has no bargaining chips here, especially since you might actually kill him cold turkey. “move your hips for me.”
“you’re in no position to be making orders.”
“and you’re in a good enough position to get grinding.” when you swivel your hips in the slightest, his hands twitch, trying his hardest not to grip your ass under your skirt desperately. who even wears a skirt to a fight? “hurry it up. i’m starting to get bored.”
this guy. he’s so fucking annoying, but you can’t help but clench around nothing at the way he looks up at you, eyes hooded and lip quirked up in a smirk as he tries to move his hips to no avail, and suddenly, you’re left with two options;
option one: get the fuck off of him and run as far as humanely possible in the hopes that he won’t catch up to you. 
option two: fuck him, and fuck him. 
it’s a good thing that in situations like these, you like to think primarily with your pussy and not your head.
Tumblr media
“ajax!”
“that’s it angel, fuck, you’re doin’ such a good job.”
your skirt is abandoned somewhere in the sparring ring and your breasts spill out of your shirt as you bounce in his lap, eyes squeezed shut and hands latched around his neck, nails digging into its supple flesh. 
oh, he’s liking this. you swear he grows two times bigger every time you squeeze on his neck, and your eyes roll into the back of your head as his tip bumps your cervix. this is the deepest position possible, and he’s hitting you just right, despite being delirious from the lack of oxygen flowing to his brain from your hands around his neck. 
when you decided to fuck him, he gave you one order and one order only; hold on tight. and damn did he give you the ride of your life, because you’re twitching atop him, hands attaching and detaching from his neck as you struggle to keep your consciousness afloat. 
whilst your hands stay wound around his bruised neck, his hands are seemingly everywhere. one moment he’s squeezing your tits through your torn shirt and the next he’s spanking your ass, warning you that he’s going to speed up and that you need to hold on tighter unless you want to fall off. 
“ ‘m close-!” you warn him of your impending orgasm, hands trembling around his neck as he starts to deepen his thrusts. you can barely focus on the look of his face, but the bastard is smiling, his own eyes starting to flutter shut as he starts to see dark spots clouding his vision. ajax is about to pass out, but he doesn’t even deserve such a luxury without feeling you cum all over his cock. 
with what little strength he has left in his arms, he slides his hand from your ass to your clit and gives it tight little slaps, eyes urging you to cum as his mouth drops open in ecstasy. this feeling, having you not only squeeze his throat but his cock too, has him delirious, and he totally thinks he could become completely addicted. 
“cum f’me, angel. come on, c’mon, i wanna fucking feel it, baby…” he uses the last of the oxygen in his lungs to give you one final command, and as ajax blacks out, he feels you squirt on it, plastering your juices all over the floor of the sparring ring before collapsing on top of him. 
in his newly (and partially short lived) vegetative state, his cock pumps you full, his seed leaking out of the creases in your cunt. it takes a couple of seconds for you to come to, and when you do, you’re faced with a sprawled out ajax on the floor, eyes just closed and lips parted gently. 
you panic momentarily because you think you’ve actually killed him, until you see those damn lips of his stretch into a smile. “thank you doll.”
you’re definitely not sparring with this freak again.
Tumblr media
PREVIOUS : BABY MOMMA ft. k. nanami NEXT : SAY ‘AAH’ ft. wriothesley
liked that? check out the WE'RE SO BACK main masterlist.
© choslut 2024 — do not copy, repost or translate my works without permission. chain divider by @/cafekitsune
1K notes · View notes
misskamelie · 2 years ago
Text
I need to be done with this exam session so I can be a recluse for 3 days straight, mind empty of other concerns, and reassess my life plans
0 notes
mrsmnsn · 8 months ago
Text
The “first date”
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: After figuring out you liked each other, you and Eddie started dating. Your first interaction wasn’t the way he planned, so he decided to take you out on a proper date.
warnings: MDNI 18+; virgin!reader; fluff; some nerdy references (star wars troop); oral!fem!receiving; shitty writing- sorry about that.
author’s note: Hey guys, i saw how much everyone enjoyed Eddie’s Valentine story so i decided to make a second part. It took me longer then i thought to post this, but my classes at college just started so i’m still adjusting my schedule.
After what happened, you spent the rest of the morning talking in bed. You couldn't believe you actually got the courage to make a move on him. Even if it was to offer a little help with his "issue". And this was one of the many things that surprised you today. The fact that Eddie liked you back was insane. In your mind, Eddie only saw you as a girl friend. A girl he could talk about everything and nothing. Of course sometimes you caught him looking at you in was different way, but you didn't want to get delusional.
And for Eddie, he was meaning to make a move on you since he realized he was head over heels for you. But he honestly thought you would say it was way too weird to be with him this way. In a romantic way. But what is best then dating your best friend. The only thing that changed was the intimacy of things. So that's why he'd never said anything. Till this day.
"How come both of us liked each other but never did anything?" Eddie asked with one arm under his head and the other wrapped around your waist. You were laying on his chest, listening to his heart beating. You don't know how to feel about this yet. Forty minutes ago, you were still "just friends". And now you're all over each other.
"I guess i was just so scared to lose my best friend that I stayed quiet. It was better to have you in that way than not having you at all." You were being honest with yourself and with him, trying to figure it out why have you kept these feelings as a secret.
"Well i'm glad you released your horny devil today" That made you laugh and he joined you. "But to be honest, it's not how i imagined."
"What do you mean?" You got up on your elbows to see his face, a little scared from his confession. Didn't he just said that he liked it?
"I actually imagined that i would have the guts to ask you out and take you in a very nice date. Very romantic. And then, after the normal stuff normal people do, i could actually try to kiss you. But i guess we're not normal." With your eyes locked, he caressed your cheek.
"Yeah, here we start being naughty!" You said in a playful tone with a wicked grin that only made him laugh. You always loved his smile.
"I guess because we took things a little too fast, this is still kind of... unbelievable for me. Do you feel it too?" You asked, concerned you're the only one feeling this.
"Yeah. Kind of. It feels like it's a dream, right?" He asked and you nodded. "But i'm sure this is going to be as normal as last night was. It's just a matter of time. Also, just in case you didn’t realize it yet, you're my girlfriend now lady, you're stuck with me."
"Oh no! What am i gonna do?" You got out of his chest dramatically and he grabbed you again making you laugh
"Really sweetheart, i don't want you to think you'll have to act differently or anything like that. I don't want you to. I like you the way you are. All goofy and funny and sweet ." He said looking at your lips
"Look at you, all over me, aren't ya?" You said as if you weren't feeling the same
"Yeah, you got me."
After that day, you've been dating, and you couldn't be happier. You waited the whole week for saturday, which was the day of your first official date. That's how Eddie called it. Of course, he didn't want to forget what happened in that morning. But he wanted you to feel extra special. Not just some random girl.
So, he decided to take you to the drive in. This events normally happened at summer, but it was just what he wanted. Something simple, but romantic, where you two could spend time together, watching movies and maybe make out in the middle of it. It was a part of your routine together, watching movies. So, in his head, this would make you both very comfortable with the whole situation of the 'first date'.
He parked his van in front of your house right on time. He pressed the doorbell and there you were. With a cute sweater and a skirt. He loved when you wore skirts. It made your legs look so tempting.
"What do you think? Fancy enough for you mister?" You said looking down at your clothes.
"Oh my lady, you look very fancy. Come on, give me a twirl." You did it and, dramatic in his own way, he put his hand on his chest "You look amazing, sweetheart."
"Thank you, Eds" He always loved when you called him like that. Now, it was even more special.
He drove you both to the location. Even though there was a lot of cars in front of you, you had a great view of the screen. It was only ten minutes before the movie started, so he went to buy you some snacks and drinks to survive through the night. It was a marathon of star wars. The three movies. "A New Hope", "The Empire Strikes Back" and "Return of the Jedi".
The sun was starting to set when he came back. His curls in the golden light just made him look more like an angel to you.
"Here you go. I'm pretty sure we can survive with this, but if you want more, just tell me, a'right?" He insisted on buying the food, not letting you pay for anything
"That's perfect, thanks!"
Through the first movie, you didn't say a word, trying to understand everything in the movie. You always found it very confusing. Alright, maybe you were containing yourself to not put your hand on his thigh or your head on his shoulder.
Eddie also stayed in silence, too anxious to do something and fuck up the night. It was not his thing, getting anxious about girls. It was actually something he was confident. But with you, was a whole different story. He wanted to be closer to you. He was trying to find a way to get you to stay closer to him without being desperate. So he started putting one hand in your thigh. Your warm skin contrasted with his cold hand. He didn't missed the way your eyes went wide the second he touched you.
They gave a break of ten minutes to start the second movie. Now it was dark outside.
"Are you sure you don't want anything else? There is a big line there but i can go, if you want." He still had his hand on your tight.
"Yes, there is enough here." You assured him. You could see he was nervous. He’d made the first move… you could only follow his lead. "I'm just wondering here. This is a date, right?"
"Yes..."
"Don't you think this big space between us is useless? You can get closer Eddie." You said leaving his cheeks with the cutest shade of red
"I'm sorry, i didn't wanted to be too desperate" He said putting his arm around your shoulder and, without thinking too much, you placed your head on his shoulder. Eddie was in heaven. He had the girl of his dreams right by his side.
In the middle of the second movie you were still in the same position. You decided to move but, with the sudden shift, you exchanged looks. For the first time of the night, you were inches away from his lips. You couldn't help but want to kiss him so bad. Feeling the same as you, Eddie placed his hand on your cheek and brought you closer until your lips met. His lips were soft. His scent invaded your nose.
Your kiss changed from passionate to desperate very quickly. Your hands got greedy, wanting to touch him everywhere you could. In need to breathe, you separate. Panting in each other's mouth, Eddie hold your face with his both hands.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, i think we can't stay this close. I can't hold myself." He said making you smile.
"I don't think we're going to be able to pay attention on the movie anymore." Giggling, you hold his hands. "What if i said that i don't want you to control yourself?"
He separated a bit more so he could look inside your eyes. His eyes were wide open, shocked.
"I know you wanted to be a gentleman and all, but i've been thinking about this for the whole week. And remember that little horny devil? He's greedy now. More than ever." You said pressing your tights together. You weren't lying. Since he said he was going to take you on a date, you've been expecting for all the things that could happen. And you wanted to.
He was speechless. It was cute.
"I know, maybe i'm being too excited about everything. But i want it and i thought that if i had to wait for you to make a move, we would do it on the seventh date or something" He giggled at that. You were right, he thought. He wanted that too. But he would never force you to do something he knows that you didn't have much experience and you could be a little insecure. He wanted you to feel safe. He finally said something.
"Are you sure? I told you, remember? We don't have to do anything you don't want to. Especially when we're in this kind of ‘first date’ situation where we feel like we have to do stuff." You kissed him again. All you wanted was him.
"I'm sure. You said yourself remember. We’re not like the normal couples."
"Really? You know, we're in a public place ma'am. You little perv." He said making you both laugh
"So... What are your moves, huh? Gonna do it here with my clothes on or you're going to take me to the back?" You pulled his shirt to you and kissed him again.
He took your hand and pulled you to the back of the van. There was some pillows and blankets on the back.
"You were planning to do this?" You asked getting closer to him again
"I was going to take you to stargaze, actually. But you turned me on now. We'll do it later, kay?" And he kissed you.
Your kiss, like before, was hot. Craving for each other's touch. You couldn’t help but smile at the situation. Two horny teenagers in the back of a van making out like your life depends on it. Your hands travel through his chest down to his lower belly, pulling his shirt up.
"I honestly don't believe you when you say to me you're a virgin" You giggle to his reaction but stoped immediately. With his shirt off, his bare torso was in front of you. The black ink contrasting with the pale skin. You could keep looking at him shirtless for hours. But you wanted something else.
He changed your positions and looked in your eyes one more time, asking for your permission. You give it to him not thinking twice. So he takes your sweater and skirt off, leaving you only with your underwear. Thank god i piked matching ones today, you think to yourself. He kept looking to the white cotton set you chose.
“They’re pretty cute” He said earning a slap from you. “Sorry. I meant it, though.”
Smiling at him, you pulled him closer again by his necklace hanging above you only to stop inches from his lips.
“Why don’t you take ‘em off and see how cute i am without any clothes?” You said proud of yourself for being this bold. His reaction was priceless.
His hands were caressing you carefully, every move with love and affection. With you naked in front of him, his instinct was to drown himself in your neck, your chest, belly. Kissing all over your skin, making you squirm. You could feel his body heat hovering over you. Too overwhelmed by his actions, you try to take his pants off. You needed him.
“Easy there. I think we have plenty of time sweetheart.” He said taking your hands in his. He only laughed at the way you pouted. “I want to make you feel good. So why don’t you lay here and relax?” He dropped your hands, not before kissing them, and went down on your body. “It’s the only thing i could do after what you did for me last week. You were so good.” His warm breath hovered your mound and you twitched.
Not wasting any more time, he licked your clit and you gasped. You’ve never got head before. This was a new different thing for you. But oh, how you loved it. You’ve only felt some kind of pleasure there by your own fingers. But the way Eddie’s tongue kept moving and twisting around, it was a new addiction to your list. Your hands were attached to the blanket under you. You were trying so hard to not let any sound slip from your lips.
“Does it feel good?” He changed his tongue for his fingers and smiled to see you struggling to keep quiet. Not able to speak, you only nodded. Deciding to push things a little bit, he thrust his tongue inside you and you couldn’t hold the moan that came from your throat. Eddie lost his mind. He grew his movements faster than before, wanting to hear that again. He was glad that you only let them out now, or he would’ve cum in his pants by then.
Everything was so good. His tongue and fingers on your pussy and his free hand pressing your hip down so you kept quiet in place. His burning gaze on you, his hair tickling your thighs. His hot breath coming out of his nose and hitting your mound. You couldn’t take it anymore. You stopped him and pulled him up. He was confused until you kissed him. You could feel your taste on his tongue and how his chin was wet by your own slick.
“I-I need you inside me” You said gasping for air. Eddie felt his cock twitch in his boxers. Your voice was hoarse by pleasure.
He took off his jeans and boxers, almost falling down. You giggled at his tongue poking out while he searched through his wallet for a condom. “I hope this is not in there for five years. You know, condoms can expire” You joke trying to act casual seeing his dick again.
“Ha ha, very funny missy.” His voice full of sarcasm only made you laugh. He was crawling his way up to you when you both heard it. Dart Vader’s imperial march was playing. Probably the last movie had just started. You cracked, laughing hard at the situation. You even forgot where you were.
“Who are we kidding, of course in our first time having sex, Dart Vader is going to be marching towards us. It’s your fault” He said playfully
“My fault?! Why?” You asked amused
“Because you’re goofy. There’s no other reason.” You looked inside his eyes. Both of you still smiling. You just had to squeeze his arm so he knew he could move. And that’s what he did.
Slowly, his ran his tip against your wet folds and thrusted inside you. You closed your eyes, feeling his length stretching you open. It burned, making tears swell up in your eyes. Once he bottomed out, you both moaned. Giving you a few seconds to get accustomed to this new feeling, he caressed your waist, grounding you back to him.
He started to thrust slowly into you. It felt like your lungs were out of air. With each thrust of his hips, that started to get a rhythm. The muscles of his arms were flexed, his necklace was swinging, and the hands that before were caressing you, were now holding your hips for goddamn life.
“Holy fuck, you’re so tight” His eyes closed for a second, trying to hold his load a little longer. You watched every move of his. He looked amazing. It didn’t take much time for his dick to reach that spot you struggled to find. It drove you crazy. You arched your back and that made Eddie go faster. You were biting your lip but it wasn’t working anymore. If there was anyone around the van, they would probably hear your moans.
Eddie was also a mess. He wanted to freeze this moment in his mind forever. You looked perfect to him. The sounds you were making, his eyes were rolling back. Your boobs were bouncing up and down with each thrust of his. He looked down where your bodies met and saw the bulge in your lower belly, he didn’t know how long he would take.
“You’re doing so good sweetheart” He pressed kisses on your neck. You weren’t able to talk, but you pulled his hair bringing him closer to you, if that was possible. He groaned feeling you clench around him. He could feel how close you were. Once again, he massaged your clit bringing you to the edge. “Come on princess, cum for me. Just let it go” and with that, you were gone.
“Fuck Eddie” Was the only thing you said.
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie
You could only think of him. Your nails scratched his back, your feet pressing on his but so he could go even deeper. Your orgasm washed all over you. With you clenching impossibly tighter around him, Eddie was also gone, cumming hard, biting on your shoulder to control his grutal moans.
When your breathing went back to normal with time, he came out of you taking off his condom and laying by your side.
“You think the van bounced too much?” He said breaking the silence. You laughed at his silliness.
“No. Otherwise people would have come here to ruin everything.” You look at him but he was already looking at you. “They might’ve heard us, though.”
“Nah, they’re nerdy people. They’re probably fantasizing about princess Leia now.” As if if wasn’t a nerd too. “You want to get out of here and go stargazing” He said putting a lock of hair behind your ear.
“That was the plan, wasn’t it?” You pecked him on the lips and got up to put your clothes back on.
And that’s how you wrap up the night. He drove you both to a place where you could see the stars. You kept talking and eating the rest of your candy from the movie. Your first date couldn’t be more perfect than that
605 notes · View notes
withlove-xixi · 2 months ago
Text
— SANJI NSFW THOUGHTS: sanji x reader
ᥫ cw: nsfw, pet names, praise, also cum, roleplay ★ my favorite white guy ... sanji my darling boyfriend ... i miss him i need to start watching one piece again — MINORS DNI! —
first things first, i'm putting my foot down and saying sanji is simply too service top for me to see as a power bottom. im sorry, as much as i know he would be wrapped around your finger, he's not completely powerless. sure if you told him to bottom, he'd be bent over and spread open before you've even finished asking.
that being said, his submissiveness is done completely out of love. he's always treating you like you're the most precious thing in the world, because to him, you're nothing less.
hes definitely not that kinky i'd say, hes just willing to try things you'd like. sure, there are some things that would turn him on (doesn't everything lol?) but i think there would be very few of what hes actually into and definitely some he'd absolutely refuse to do.
ive seen other people say it, but idt he'd be big on like spanking or other kinds of pain play, simply because the idea of hurting you (consensual or accidental) will actually drive him insane and he'd explode. he's a bit wary of things like bondage too because what if you get hurt? your safety is always his priority, he'd do anything to ensure it.
idt he's keen too on the idea of threesomes, voyeurism, etc because hes a bit .. possessive of you. at least, maybe he would allow sharing you if he had the reins. like if he was able to dictate how things would happen and stuff, because otherwise he wouldn't dare even entertain the idea. i think sanji finds sex to be intimate more than anything, it's a way for him to show his love to you, so why must he share that? that isnt to say he hasnt thought about having multiple partners during sex, the idea's passed through his mind once or twice before and it's gotten him flustered, but it's hardly anything he'd really want to do (again, unless he had control of things or if you really begged him for it)
oh and he is so good with praise. he's always showering you with complements even outside of sex. it's always "good job, darling" or "i've got you, sweetheart" and aughhh!! he's just sweet like that. he's always planting kisses on your thighs or chest, on the back of your hand on against you palm. PLUS PETNAMES! he loves calling you all sorts of things, comparing you to summer days or sweet flowers. it was like he was always finding new ways to tell you he loved you.
i think sanji likes looking at you too. sometimes he could be a bit too mesmerized by you, staring intently, hungrily with those pretty blue eyes. he's taking in every detail of your face and body, every bead of sweat on your skin, the shine of slick on your thighs, the rise and fal of your chest. sometimes he gets too busy staring he stays completely frozen lmao.
and ... i think he likes watching you covered in his cum. like he'd cum as deep as he can inside you snd spread you apart just a bit to watch it ooze out, or he'd cum on your belly and smear it over your skin eith his fingers, or he'd cum all over your face and watch it drip off your chin (oh he is definitely getting a nose bleed from all that)
his favorite thing though is when you dress up for him. whether is frilly revealing tops or lacy lingere, he's getting hard as soon as he sees you. again, idt he's got too many kinks, he's just willing to try things out with you, but if there was anything he liked the most it might be roleplay. there's something about seeing you in different outfits and seeing you play the role of a nurse or a doctor sends his blood rushing to his dick lol.
231 notes · View notes
adiraargent · 1 month ago
Text
Challenge - Levi Ackerman
Levi Ackerman x reader
Tumblr media
The walls of the barracks were quiet, the only sounds the distant clanging of blades and the soft whispers of soldiers preparing for another day. You leaned against the cool stone, watching the light shift through the narrow windows, contemplating your place in this relentless world.
Levi Ackerman had always been an enigma. His presence commanded respect, yet he often kept others at arm’s length. You admired his strength and resilience but struggled to decipher the layers beneath his stoic exterior. You’d had your eyes on him for a while, sure he was a bit mean and had a resting bitch face, but he was tidy and he was handsome. His cold eyes and smooth skin… his soft hair, the way his muscles showed through his uniform when he moved even just a little bit
One evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting long shadows across the training yard, you found yourself alone with him. He was cleaning his blades, each movement deliberate and precise. You hesitated before approaching, the air thick with unspoken words.
“Why do you linger?” he asked, not looking up from his task. You stood up straight, hoping he hadn’t noticed the way that you had been staring at him while you pretended to be busy cleaning your boots.
“I was just—” You fumbled, heart racing. “I wanted to see if you needed help.”
He finally glanced at you, his piercing gaze locking onto yours. “Help? I can handle my own equipment.” You gnawed at the inside of your lip, worried this was a bad idea.
You nodded, swallowing hard. “I know. I just thought… maybe we could talk?”
He sighed, placing his blade down. “Talk about what?” He looked at you, his heart thumping a little bit faster than usual. He knew you well, you were in his squad and had spoken many times, he really liked talking with you, though he didn’t plan on admitting that of course.
You hesitated again, then took a step closer. “About everything. The fights, the losses… and us.”
A flicker of surprise crossed his face, quickly masked by indifference. “There is no ‘us.’ There’s the mission and the people we protect. Focus on that.” He had already lost so much, he knew he wouldn’t be able to deal with the pain of losing someone so close to him, so he made sure to keep you at a distance all these years, constantly reminding himself not to grow any attachments.
His words stung, but you refused to back down. “You think I can’t care about both? You’re not just a soldier to me, Levi.”
For a moment, the air was thick with tension. Levi’s expression softened, just slightly. “I don’t do well with attachments. They only lead to pain.”
“I get that,” you said softly, “but isolating yourself won’t protect you from it.” You shifted your weight from leg to leg as you stood anxiously in front of him, trying your best to keep up a confident facade
He studied you, as if searching for something. “You don’t understand the weight of this world.” He was right, you’d been on his squad for only 2 years and somehow you’d always been sent with a group that rarely attracted the attention of any titans. ‘Lucky’ you had called yourself, though hearing that someone you were close too wasn’t coming home was enough to make you want to die every time.
“Maybe I don’t, but I want to share that weight with you. You don’t have to carry it alone.” You didn’t know everything your captain had gone through, but you knew he’d seen stuff that was enough to drive an ordinary man completely insane.
He stood, the space between you suddenly feeling charged with unspoken emotions. “You think you can change my mind?”
“I think you deserve to feel something other than pain. Just let me in.” Levi shuddered slightly at your words, his gaze softening ever so slightly.
A long pause stretched between you, the silence echoing your heart’s desperate plea. Finally, he stepped closer, the distance shrinking. “You’re persistent.”
“Is that a bad thing?”
Levi’s lips curled into a rare, almost imperceptible smile. “It’s annoying.”
You chuckled softly, relief washing over you. “Maybe I can live with that.”
He held your gaze for a heartbeat longer before stepping back, the barrier still there but slightly more permeable. “Just remember: I’m not easy to love.”
You met his eyes with determination. “I’m not afraid of a challenge.”
With a slight nod, Levi turned back to his blades, but the tension in the air had shifted. You knew it wouldn’t be easy, but for the first time, you felt the possibility of something more—a connection forged in the fires of battle and tempered by understanding.
And as the last light of day faded, you stood by his side, ready to face whatever came next together.
93 notes · View notes
vminizzle · 2 years ago
Text
Sex shop
pairing : bestfriend!jungkook x f.reader
genre : SMUT, fluff
warnings :masturbation, really bad description of sex shop & stuff (sorry), mention of sex toys (not used, maybe in part 2 who knows ;) hehe ), teasing, use of pet names, praising, marking, first time, love making, penetrative sex, unprotected sex ( wrap It up guys! ), creampie, slight cockwarming, THEY ARE CUTE UGH
best friends ͜͡➸ to lovers ♡
words count : 4.2k
A/N : pls I’m insane (the way I had to clean my search history) ,, sorry this is a whole mess. I don’t know what I had in mind when I started writing this. I spent ages on this fic and ngl it didn’t turn out how I wanted but I tried my best :). I wrote this there is a long time ago but I decided to edit it 💀 & sorry for my english.
FEEDBACKS ARE VERY WELCOMED
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
M RATED
“see you on monday!” you waved at Jungkook as he waved back driving away.
You sighed as you walk to your friend.
“so, today your boyfriend doesn’t walk you home?” she teased. 
“Jungkook is not my boyfriend“ you blushed slapping her arm playfully.
"please you guys are always together. like always! Studying, hanging out together, shopping, lunch.. Except when he’s working on the weekends. He even sleep at your house.. I’m asking myself what you guys do-”
You gasped slapping her arm lightly.
“what? Chaeyoung stop! don’t say non-sense, we’re just..best friends.” you retorted looking down.
“yea yea whatever.”
Chaeyoung and you walked to your house, eating ice creams on your way.
“so what you wanna do?” you asked unlocking the front door.
“let’s just do nothing.” you laughed nodding.
You were laying on your couch scrolling though your social networks lazily when Chaeyoung suddenly jumped on you.
“Yo look at this!” she shoved her phone to your face.
“what is it?”
“it talks about masturbation.” she explained.
“and what about it?” you asked confused.
“I read that some women masturbate with water pression.” your cheeks heated up at her sudden burst.
“w-why are you even reading this?” you handed her the phone back.
“ just saw a girl from our promo repost this article.” she shrugged.
“that’s really suprising. I mean I’ve never thought about masturbation with water pression. Like I mean, using toys are easier no?” you looked at her eyes wide open.
“oh my god stop!” you threw a pillow at her face as she caught it midway laughing.
“wait! Don’t tell me you don’t masturbate, do you?” you hesitated before answering.
“i-it’s kind of personal.” you muttered.
“ugh stooooop we’re friends.. except you rather talk about it with your "best friend.” she wiggled her eyebrows teasingly.
“Can you just stop with him?“ you groaned.
“so tell me.” she whined shaking your arm repeatedly.
“well, yea.. like every other teenagers.” you cleared your voice making her grin.
“how many toys do you have?” she asked curiously.
“ok enough! this is so embarrassing.” you whined.
“not at all.” finally letting go of your arm as she grab her soda can on the glass table in front of you both.
“i don’t own any...” you muttered.
Chaeyoung chocked in her soft drink “you don’t?!” you shook your head.
“I don’t need it so.. yea.”
She stared at you silently for awhile.
“you should buy one.”
“why?“ you laughed awkwardly.
“it’ll be a new experience, another level of pleasure. And maybe it’ll please you more than your fingers or whatever."
How can she talks so openly? you thought.
“i know a great little sex shop not so far from here!” she exclaimed.
“you should check it out!”
“I’ll think about it.” you said, wanting this conversation to end.
❁ — •*:。✩
You furrowed your eyebrows, bottom lip caught between your teeth, the pressure on your clit making you feel frustrated.
Your legs spread wide open, fingers going in and out of you slowly to tease you a bit.
Rubbing little circles with your thumb on the throbbing nerve trying to stimulate you a bit more.
10 minutes. 10 fucking minutes that you were trying to make yourself cum.
You didn’t know if you were too tense, stressed or exhausted but these days you couldn’t make yourself reach your highs. You groaned and gave up as you sigh annoyed getting up to wash your hand.
Later, you smiled as you sat on the edge of your bed, noticing a message from your best friend on your phone.
[20:42] kook : just arrived home, I hope you spent a nice afternoon. You’re probably sleeping or watching something on Netflix without me :( 
[20:44] y/n : hey yes i did. How was work? nahh I’m gonna sleep. wanna wait for you next week to watch our serie :)
[20:45] kook : work was alright. ohhh that’s my girl hehe can’t wait for next week then!
[20:47] y/n : nice then. You’re working all day tomorrow ?
[20:48] kook : yea unfortunately I’m working all day :(
[20:49] y/n : ughh!! good luck for tomorrow. Go take a bath and rest idiot. 
[20:51] kook: thanks princess! Sleep well too love ya ♡ 
[20:53] y/n : hehe love you too ♡
You let your body fell back on the mattress, smiling like an idiot at the small conversation.
Jungkook could always make you smile without even trying.
Noticing a early message from Chaeyoung, you opened it.
[18:57] Chae : here the address of the sex shop I talked about earlier : <address>. I know how curious you are sometimes 👀 hehe you’ll tell me. xoxo
Your smile vanished when you thought about your little talk with Chaeyoung.
“ok” you sighed deeply.
“I’ll go to this shop tomorrow.”
❁ — •*:。✩
Waking up with the warm sunlights caressing your body gently. You stretched out groaning at the sore muscles.
You checked your phone. 1pm.
Well damn, that was a long sleep.
You decided to take a shower, eat lunch and get ready to “visit” this little shop.
Not wanting to be seen at such a place, you put a cap enough to hide your face a bit. You went for a oversized hoodie, a jean and a pair of vans.
Comfy.
You didn’t know why you were so nervous to go there. Is it because you’re scared to meet someone you know there? Is it because you’re embarrassed to see all the stuffs you’ll probably discover there? What type of things you’ll find?
“C’mon that’s just a shop y/n the fuck is wrong with you." you whisper-yelled to yourself before pulling your cap lower.
You took a deep breath as you put your hand on the knob of the door.
“Let’s go.”
Entering the place hesitantly, you looked at your surroundings. Deep red velvety walls, lights keeping the shop bright enough to make it less dark, shelves full of stuff you never knew the existence of.
The cashier welcomed you and you smiled at him politely.
Walking further through the shop, you noticed shelves filled with magazines, covers of obscene pictures of naked women and men making you cover your eyes feeling like a shocked and scared kid.
You blushed as you passed by lingeries hanging on the walls. Not lying to yourself, they were so pretty.
You brushed your fingertips gently over the soft materials, some velvety ones, lacy ones and other lingeries more… revealing.
Different boxes at the back of the shop intrigued you as you approached them.
Getting closer, you gulped feeling a little lump in you throat.
“what the fuck are these oh my gosh” you whisper-yelled completely shocked.
Not only vibrators were there, but anal plugs, anal beads, dildos, strap-on dildos , bdsm toys… handcuffs, ropes , flogger , whips, open mouth gag, blindfolds, spanking paddles, cock rings (pls help me!!), fleshlights …
“nipple clamps? That sounds so painful.” you whined covering your chest.
”urethral sound? oh lord i don’t even have a penis and I can feel the pain." you held your stomach, disgust painting your face.
“the hell are these? rabbit vibrator? butterfly vibrator?… bondage hood?? h-how do people breath oh my-”
(little break, let me clean my horrible search history real quick and drink some water my head is spinning with all these new information lmao)
Looking around you noticed bondage furniture and other stuffs making you uncomfortable.
“Chaeyoung is completely insane what the hell!”
“Good afternoon, how can I help you?”
A really familiar voice could be heard behind you. You turned around only to see your best friend.
”J-Jungkook!?“ you said louder than you thought.
“y-y/n?! What are you doing here?” shock written all over his red face.
”I’m hm I.. wait! What are you doing here?” you said trying to avoid his question.
Jungkook stayed quiet, mouth opening but no words coming out.
Looking at his shirt, you noticed the logo of the shop on it. ”you work here?“
Your eyes widened as you glanced at his red ears.
”hm.. yes.” he replied, head down as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
 “Oh.. that’s why you’ve never tell me more about your job…“ you trailed out.
He nodded looking at you again.
“and you? What are you doing here huh?” he asked curiosity laced in his voice.
You chewed on your bottom lip, searching for an answer.
“so?” he smiled teasingly ears still red.
“yo stop with your weird thoughts!” you punched him on his shoulder.
“personal stuff.” you muttered.
“well, I guessed it’s for personal stuff.” he looked around you smirking.
“oh shut up.”
“so what.. are you searching for?” you looked up at him shocked.
“eh that’s my job calm down.” he laughed as you looked around searching for someone else than your best friend to help you.
“I .. hm.. I came for this!” you grabbed a random box on the shelve next to you not even looking at it.
“wow..is this for you?” Jungkook tried his best not to laugh.
“yes!”
“never knew my bestie has a dick.” you looked down at the box .. cock ring.
You closed your eyes embarrassment washing over you. He laughed softly as you put the box back at his place quickly.
Looking for a diversion, you glanced behind him “hey what’s that?!” you pointed at a random spot.
When Jungkook looked over his shoulder, you grabbed the box of a vibrator running away with it.
“what?” he turned back only to see that you weren’t here anymore.
You stopped running, putting your hand over your heart as you tried to breath slower.
Looking up, you noticed that you were at the lingerie "booth”. Your eyes stayed glued on one of them.
A black one exactly.
You touched the soft bra, fingers sliding on the lacy material. It was just so cute and sexy at the same time.
You shook your head walking at the front of the shop to the cashier.
After paying your product, the cashier told you with no shame to “have fun”.
Gosh what a day.
❁ — •*:。✩
You groaned exasperatedly throwing your purchase on your bed, this one bouncing on the mattress and ending on the floor.
You decided to take a shower, letting the warm water caress his way down your body pleasantly, helping your muscles relax, washing the stress and shame away.
After your shower, you went downstairs opening your fridge to take a bottle of ice cold water. You needed something fresh to calm down from all the events that happened today.
You swallowed down the liquid, the cold water hitting your throat in a pleasant way.
You jumped when you suddenly heard knocks on your door startling you.
You furrowed your eyebrows checking your phone to see if Chaeyoung texted you announcing she was coming over but nothing.
Opening the door you were faced to the last person you wanted to see today. The embarrassment too “fresh” to handle.
“Hi.” Jungkook smiled shyly.
You looked down nodding acknowledging his presence.
“hm.. can I come in?” he asked after a few seconds.
“oh! yea yea of course.” you let him in, closing the door behind.
“so.. what bring you here?” you talked still avoiding his eyes.
“can’t I come visit my favorite best friend?” he tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow up playfully.
“your one and only best friend.” you huffed.
“yep! my only one. mine.” he grinned cutely.
“yes. yours.” you smiled back this time looking at him, this one still smiling.
The atmosphere changed. You didn’t know how, why but it changed.
Something in Jungkook’s gaze changed for a second before he cleared his throat.
The word ‘yours’ affecting him a bit too much.
He couldn’t think like that, no , you’re his best friend.
But he wanted you more than that. He wanted you to be his.
A pleasant silence settled as you stared at each other, his eyes on your lips time to time.
“Can I kiss you?” he breathed out.
It was so sudden yet so tempting.
“yes.” you whispered as he approached you taking your face in his hands gently before connecting his lips with yours.
He kissed you softly, his hand sliding down your side to rest on your hip.
Kissing him felt so magical. It felt so unreal.
Jungkook pulled away, resting his forehead on yours before chuckling.
“i’ve never thought I’d kiss my pretty best friend one day.”
You chuckled hiding your face on his chest. He pulled you closer, hugging you.
This hug wasn’t like the others you shared before. This one was different. You could feel his heart beating faster when you wrapped your arms around him.
“y/n.” he spoke again.
You looked up at him waiting for him to continue.
“i.. i think.. I’m in love with you.” his cheeks red from the confession.
“think?” you teased.
He rolled his eyes smilling widely “I’m in love with you.”
“i’m in love with you too.” you said shyly before kissing his cheek.
He smiled before capturing your lips for another kiss, a sweet and loving one.
This time the kiss was longer, his hands creeping behind your back by your waist and tugging you closer onto his body.
The way your bodies were against each other’s made you feel some type of way.
A feeling you’ve never felt before. An unfamiliar feeling deep down in your stomach making you moan into the kiss as Jungkook’s hand went on your lower back pushing you harder on him.
He groaned feeling blood rushing down there. His growing boner pressed on your lower stomach.
You pulled away breathing heavily.
“I want you.” Jungkook whispered, his hands playing with the strings of your -his- hoodie.
“I want you too.”
You looked toward the stairs. Jungkook got the hint and took your hand in his walking upstairs.
It wasn’t the first time he came into your bedroom but this time, it wasn’t for studying, watching movies on your sleepovers or take naps… no this time was different.
Jungkook closed the door before walking to you, taking your chin between his thumb and index.
He leaned down, his lips envelopping yours into a loving and slow kiss again.
He started leaving little pecks, his lips trailing down to your jawline, to your neck sucking gently on the soft skin.
You walked backward to your bed letting your body fall on it pulling Jungkook in the process on top of you. He giggled softly as you caressed his cheek softly.
Your fingers went down, playing with the buttons of his shirt before unbuttoning them slowly one by one while looking into his eyes. He helped you taking it off completely throwing it away.
He bent down, lips on the side of your neck pressing light kisses, his hands sliding under your hoodie.
“can I?” he said gently pulling at the hem of the garment.
You nodded before sitting and raising your arms up. Jungkook chuckled pulling it off your beautiful body.
You suddenly froze, realizing that you were half-naked in front of him.
Your hands flew directly to your bra-covered breasts. If you felt exposed with your underwear on, you wondered how you’ll feel naked.
“don’t be shy.” Jungkook said softly.
“Easy to say when you don’t have breasts.” you muttered.
“i do have breats! But they’re super flat..it’s like they’re non-existent.” he said playfully palming his pecs.
“oh gosh stop.” you laughed slapping his arm.
Jungkook laughed too before taking your hands in his.
“look at me.” he started “your body is so beautiful. You are so beautiful. Don’t be shy around me. You know you can trust me and be yourself with me. So don’t hide from me.” you locked eyes with him, his words making your heart skip a beat.
No one ever talked like that with you.. about you.
You nodded with a smile decorating your lips.
“That’s my girl” he said as he peck your forehead.
He laid you down again gently, hands wandering on the bare skin, so soft as his fingertips caress their way up and down, goosebumps raising after their journeys. 
Jungkook lowered his head, his soft lips on your collarbone starting leaving open mouth kisses and little love bites there and then.
His mouth cascaded down on your chest, sucking on the sensitive skin to leave little reddish and purplish flowers.
He continued his way down, kissing every part he could, not forgetting to leave little marks proving that he has worshipped your beautiful body as it should.
He stopped when he reached your panties, looking up at you, a silent request to have your permission to take it off.
You hesitated for awhile, rethinking about his words. You did trust him. A lot. More than yourself perhaps? But being this exposed was really difficult for you.
Were you ready for this step?
“If you’re not ready or if you’re uncomfortable it’s ok princess, we can stop.” you heard him speak again pushing you out of your thoughts.
“take it off.” you answered.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
“Yes.” you lifted your hips a little bit as he dragged the soft material off your legs.
“so pretty.” Jungkook murmured as he caressed your thighs.
He took his time adorning them with love bites and hickeys, making them look even prettier at his eyes.
His face got higher, just above your most sensitive part.
He kissed your clit gently making you hiss. The new sensation so good making it throb, anticipation growing more and more.
The need to close your legs really tempting. And that’s exactly what you did.
Jungkook got off the bed to get rid of his pant.
You immediately looked away when he glanced at you, hands on the waistband of his boxer ready to push it down.
He blushed thinking about the fact that it was also his first time being naked in front of someone.
He still chuckled at your shyness murmuring a quiet “cute.”
Jungkook hissed as he finally freed his cock from his confinement, the sensitive tip hitting the air before slapping against his stomach.
You breath hitched when you felt the bed dip again signaling that Jungkook was back.
He made sure you were confortable, pillows behind your head, blanket over your bodies as you suggested for more ‘intimacy’.
Jungkook hovered you before talking again “are you nervous?”.
You gulped before letting a small yes escape from your mouth.
“Are you?” Jungkook nodded.
Both of you knew it was both your first time.
“If you’re not ready we can stop.” you said softly.
He smiled shyly nodding “y/n we can stop at any moment. Understood?”
You nodded hand cupping his cheek, thumb caressing the cheekbone.
Jungkook positioned himself at your entrance, the head of his cock rubbing teasingly on your folds making you moan.
“´k are you sure?” he asked one last time.
You nodded before he stopped you, shaking his head.
“I need a verbal approval y/n.”
“I’m sure and I want you to be sure too.” you said softly making him hummed.
“oh wait wait!” Jungkook exclaimed.
“what is it?” you asked confused many scenarios creating in your head ready to make you panick.
“be my girlfriend. no! I mean, w-would you like to be my girlfriend?” you chuckled at how cute he was.
“I’d love to Kook” you pecked his lips making him smile widely, eyes turning into little crescents.
Jungkook started entering you slowly and carefully making sure not to hurt you, checking up on your facial expressions time to time.
You gripped on his bicep hard as it started to burn. The unfamiliar intrusion uncomfortable.
You hissed, the pain making his presence more and more.
“are you ok? Do you want me to stop? Pull out? I can st-”
“i’m good don’t worry, keep going slowly please.” you whispered.
Jungkook peppered kisses on your cheek and neck, to distract you from the pain of the stretch as he pushed in deeper until he completely bottomed.
You groaned, tears forming in your eyes “shh, you’re doing so well darling.”
He caressed your cheeks a bit concerned “Tell me when I can move yea?”
On the other side, Jungkook suffered in his own way.
He scrunched his nose, bottom lip trapped between his teeth at the warm tightness around him so foreign, his mind going wild.
You took a deep breath, trying to surpass the burn down there.
You nodded gesturing him to move again. This one, thrusted in and out slowly, taking his time not to hurt you and enjoy the new sensation around him.
He groaned as he started feeling this exciting and pleasuring feeling making his cock twitched inside you.
You moaned softly, the pain fading away and the pleasure coming gradually.
The burn was still there but it was bearable, it felt good as Jungkook continued his slow moves.
“J-Jungkook” you breathed out hand gripping his bicep tightly nails digging into the flesh.
“you ok princess?” he whispered against your lips.
“It f-feels good.. you feel so good” your eyelids getting heavy, trying your best to keep your eyes on him.
He looked so handsome. On top of you, lips swollen with all the kisses exchanged, a light blush decorating his cheeks, his ears red, chest gleaming with sweat, little droplets formed on his forehead….. so ethereal.
As Jungkook continued moving in and out of you, the pleasure took over, the painful burn long forgotten.
Your hands travelled to his back, fingernails were buried into the soft flesh of his muscular back drawing little crescents.
“you’re doing so good baby. so good for me.” he caressed your cheek.
Jungkook took his time making love to you, nibbling on your earlobe lightly as he whisper sweet nothings into your ear.
You scratched his back as he gripped your thigh lifting it a bit getting deeper inside you.
“fuck please don’t stop.” you whimpered voice cracking, his length rubbing deliciously against your warm velvelty walls.
The wet and warm feeling around him made him feel lightheaded. You felt too good to be true.
He pressed butterfly kisses on your jawline, his lips travelling down leaving beautiful dark red flowers on your neck, continuing his path to your collarbone biting it lightly enough to form a little mark. “so pretty.” he whispered more to himself.
He let out a low groan as you clenched around him “fuck!” he rolled his hips sensually grazing over your sweet spot making you whined out loudly.
You ran your fingers through his soft locks. You squeezed your eyes shut, letting your head fall back into the pillows as Jungkook hit deeper.
Art. Just art. You looked like a masterpiece.
All covered up with hickeys, the red and purple marks on your skin making his eyes sparkling with lust, admiration and love.
“you’re so beautiful. so beautiful all marked up.” he said fingers running over the little bruises he left. “mine. you’re mine.”
The vein of his neck was prominent as he moaned when you tightened around him, the pressure making him weak to a point “baby d-don’t stop clenching p-please.” 
“Jungkook I think I’m- fuck.” you moaned feeling the knot in your lower stomach tighter, your heart beating faster as the pleasure propagated inside you.
Jungkook placed your calve over his waist, he cupped your jawline, his lips barely touching yours as he whispered “cum for me love.”
He furrowed his eyebrows at the way your walls convulse around him. “fuck! I’m so near!”
Jungkook slid his veiny hands up your arms until they reached your hands, pinning them at each side of your head as he tangled your fingers together.
The sweet little gesture making your heart stop.
He bent down to press kisses on the sensitive marked-skin of your neck. His touches overwhelming you.
Butterflies finally blooming into your lower stomach as you came around him.
The sudden wave of pleasure forming tears in your eyes as they slid down your cheeks. His name leaving your throat in a high pitched moan.
Your soft moans pushed him over the edge of his own release, he moaned deeply as he came inside you, filling you up to the brim.
The warm cum made you sigh as you let your body relax against the soft sheet.
“i love you.” he pushed stands of hair out of your face.
Heat rushed to your cheeks, the three words making your heart melt.
“i love you.” you whispered softly, caressing the back of his head gently.
Jungkook buried his face into the crook of your neck, his breath tickling you.
You chuckled, hand stroking up and down his back to soother the scratched skin. He looked up at you before pecking the tip of your nose.
“’m tired.” you mumbled yawning.
“let’s get you clean up first cutie.”
He was about to pull out when you groaned pulling him down on you. “let’s stay like this please?” shyness showing up again.
“as you wish princess.”
He laid a kiss on your temple before turning around on his back, pulling you on top of him. His slow heartbeats and an last I love you were the last thing you heard before drifting off in his warm embrace.
a beautiful relationship started and probably a wild one …
a/n : not a frequent f2l fic right? I hope i did good - a part 2? I love writing fluffy smut since I’m a romantic person 😭 sorry sorry. Anyways, thanks for reading luvs. Take care of yourselves :)
+ I forgot to add that jk and reader are both college students and it’s a part job for Jungkook.
2K notes · View notes
angelic-sturniolos111 · 1 year ago
Text
The Right Words 🧸
Chris begins to question his opinions on commitment and relationships after being close friends with you for months. Chris’s feelings for you have grown stronger, but he can’t quite articulate his affection for you. Instead of using his words he makes a romantic gesture to show you how he feels.
chris sturniolo x fem! reader
warnings: none, just chris being super shy and fluffy
author’s note: kinda inspired by stuff he’s said ab relationships and how “too much love” kinda scares/intimidates him
not proofread lmao
Tumblr media
Chris’s POV:
Matt had invited Y/N to come hang at our house while we record our podcast episode for the week. It wasn’t unusual for Y/N to always be around, she was our friend, but I hadn’t opened up to my brothers about how I truly feel about her.
She moved to LA a few months back and we all met her at some influencer party, and she hit it off with us immediately. First, it started with the four of us going out to record content, going bowling, thrifting, things like that. Eventually, we all grew closer with her and she started hanging out at our house a lot more, and often sleeping over. The first time she had slept over was after Nick and Matt had already gone to bed, and since she didn’t want to wake them she slept in my room with me. After that night I guess my room became the unofficial-Y/N-sleepover room because she has always spelt in my room every time since.
I immediately found Y/N attractive when we met— she’s a very pretty girl. I’ve always had closer girl friends in my circle, and even if I think any of them are pretty, my feelings never go beyond that— it’s always platonic. I know part of that is because they just weren’t the right girl for me, but another part of me knows it’s because I don’t let myself sit in those feelings. I’m scared of commitment, relationships, things of that sort. Sure I’ve hooked up with a few girls in my day, but I’ve never had any serious romantic feelings for anyone.
Until Y/N.
That first night she slept in my room we stayed up for hours talking about everything from our favorite hockey teams to deeper emotional stuff. That became our routine when she would sleepover… always the last ones awake, and always having long in-depth conversations with one another. What started off as friendly, platonic feelings for her quickly changed after many nights spent late night talking.
As much as I loved our late night talks I honestly wanted more. I wanted early morning talks, afternoon talks, and to just be with her every second of every day. I wanted to hold her, spoil her, kiss her, and call her mine. I thought I would never feel this way about anyone before, but she makes me feel things I’ve never felt— she’s everything to me.
I recently came to the conclusion that keeping these feelings buried was starting to drive me insane, and I had to open up to someone about it.
Matt and I were currently getting in his car on the way to pick up Y/N. Before Matt put the car in drive, I spoke up;
“Hey, can I talk to you about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately? I just really need someone to talk to about it.” I say sheepishly. Matt’s eyes leave his phone to meet mine, and he instantly put his phone down giving me his full attention.
“Yeah bro of course. You can tell me anything. What’s up?” He says concerned because usually this is the other way around. Matt opening up to me about his issues. It was rare that I ever had anything on my end to discuss.
“Well it’s just,” I pause, hesitating if I should even continue. Matt puts a hand on my shoulder comforting me enough to move on.
“I have serious, and I mean serious feelings for Y/N.”
I’m not sure what I was expecting in response, but it wasn’t this…
He started laughing. LAUGHING. In my fucking face.
“Okay why are you laughing? Is something funny about any of this?” I say now a little pissed off that he wasn’t taking this seriously.
“Oh man, no no I’m sorry I’m not trying to be rude. It’s just… SO obvious.” He says and continues to laugh.
“WHAT?! IS IT REALLY?” I yell. Oh god, I hope Y/N doesn’t know and I’m not making a complete ass out of myself.
“Yes! Nick and I talk about it all the time. You may not realize it but you NEVER stop talking about her. “Y/N said this funny thing last night,” “Y/N really likes this movie,” “You know one time Y/N” Y/N Y/N Y/N. I swear every god damn sentence you utter her name leaves your mouth.” Matt mocks, but before I can interject he continues;
“Jesus not to mention the way you stare her down whenever she’s in the room. Nick and I are always laughing about it— like when he’s editing our videos and we can see that you looking at her constantly whenever she steps behind the camera? Or when we went to the beach that one time!? You saw Y/N in a bikini for the first time, and we saw you grab the towel to cover your lap because—”
“Okay OKAY! Alright, I get it! I’m not as good as hiding my feelings for her as I thought…” I cut him off before he can continue to blabber about it any more. Matt comes down from his laughing fit.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be mean. My point is is that we’ve never seen you like this with anyone before, and it’s really sweet.” Matt rests his hand on my arm reassuringly. “Well, we told her we were on our way to pick her up. If you want to I can text Nick and we can come up with some sort of excuse to leave so you guys can have some alone time together and maybe you’ll be able to talk with her about it?” He suggests.
“Yeah… it’s the talking that I’m scared of.” I look down and play with my hands in my lap. “That’s the problem. Like you said, I’ve never been like this with anyone before, and I don’t know how to put my feelings into words. If you haven’t noticed I’m not necessarily the most romantic person ever.” I say with a sigh.
Matt looks around the car seeing if anything might give him an idea. He sees the gummy worms in the center console from the last time we filmed a car video and picks them up to show me.
“Okay, candy? What about candy?” He says as if he just made some sort of scientific breakthrough.
“Kid, what the fuck are you talking about? Candy?” I laugh, completely confused.
“Yeah! We can swing by the store and you can get her her favorite candies and snacks, and you guys can watch a cute movie together or something? If you can’t tell her how you feel maybe you can show her through your actions.”
I thought about it for a second, and it honestly wasn’t a bad idea. I knew her favorite candy, snacks, movies, all that stuff. I know she loves comfy blankets for movie time. She also complains about not having a stuffed animal for her to cuddle when she sleeps over, and she usually steals one of Matt’s. All these thoughts came flooding into my head at once, and suddenly I had the best idea.
“Okay, I got it!. We’re going to need to stop at the store before we get her. You and Nick distract her when we get back to our place, and then find some excuse to leave. I have the perfect plan.” I say excitedly.
An enormous smile grows on Matt’s face. He clicks his seatbelt, and before he can back the car out of the driveway we see Nick striding out the door to the car. Matt rolls his window down.
“What the fuck are you two still doing in the driveway? I thought you were getting Y/N?” Nick says.
“Bro get in the car you’re coming with us we’ve gotta update you on Chris’s love affair!” Matt says jokingly making me laugh. Nick just rolls his eyes, and climbs in the backseat.
***
Y/N’s POV:
Chris had given me a call earlier to tell me that their manager, Laura, needed Nick and Matt for something at her house tonight so it would just be the two of us. She had apparently given them a call on their way out to pick me up so they were running late. Honestly, I was a little nervous that Chris and I would have the house to ourselves. I was always comfortable being alone with him in his room, and I’ve always hoping he’d take one of these nights to make a move. In my head I tried to convince myself he hasn’t made a move yet because his brothers were always home— worried they’d barge in and interrupt or something. I’ve had a HUGE crush on Chris, and I wasn’t super hopeful that he felt the same way because he’s never been a relationship type of guy. Plus, he always has girl friends, and I’m worried I probably just fall under the friend category in his eyes.
Finally, I see headlights shine through my front window and look to see Matt’s car in the driveway. I grab my purse and head out the door and open the car door to climb in the backseat. I was surprised to be met with Chris in the backseat, and Nick in the front with Matt.
“Fancy seeing you in the back. You’re never back here.” I say getting in my seat and clicking the seatbelt.
“Umm yeah, I— um.” Chris starts before Nick cuts him off.
“He was taking too long in the store so I hopped in the front.” I see Chris raise his eyebrows slightly at Nick, giving him a weird look.
“I didn’t know you guys went out. What were you getting?” I ask.
“Um just toiletries and stuff. Needed some, uh, shampoo.” Chris says shrugging his shoulders and breaking out eye contact. He seemed tense, but I brushed it off.
***
We pull into the driveway and I get out of the car making my way over to the trunk. The three boys get out and stand awkwardly behind the car with me.
“Did you want help bringing the stuff in?” I say and there was silence as the boys just awkwardly stared at each other, and then at me. “…From the store?” I continue.
“Oh no Chris’s got it. Matt and I wanna show you the updates we made to the podcast studio, come on!” Nick says grabbing my arm and leading me up the driveway to their front door leaving Chris behind to get stuff out of the trunk.
Matt, Nick, and I go inside and they immediately go upstairs to their studio, and I stop to hesitate at the bottom of the stairs.
“Should we wait for Chris?” I say. Matt turns around to look at me, and then shoots a glance to Nick.
“No he’s slow as fuck. Come on!” Nick yells. I laugh and make my way upstairs.
Matt and Nick start showing me decor and stuff around the studio. It honestly wasn’t anything that I haven’t already seen before, but I kept my mouth shut because it seemed very important for them to show me again. As they blabber on I see Chris run swiftly past the door, carrying a bunch of shopping bags, and going into his bedroom slamming the door. I became even more suspicious to his weird behavior.
Matt and Nick went on to me about the podcast episodes they were planning to film, but I was barely even listening since my thoughts were elsewhere. I’m snapped out of my daydreaming when Chris comes in and stands in the doorway.
“Okaaaay! You guys have to go to Laura’s, yeah?” Chris asks his brothers.
“Yes! Yes we do. Matt let’s get going!” Nick says to Matt and they eagerly start walking out of the room. Matt turns back and gives me a smile, “Have fun!” He says. Matt then gives Chris a pat on the shoulder before him and Nick make their way downstairs and out the door.
Why the hell were they all acting so weird?
I take a step towards Chris as he remains blocking the doorway.
“So, what do you wanna do?” I question, and a smirk creeps up on his face.
“I actually have a special movie night planned for us.” He says with that sweet smile of his I love so much.
“What makes it special?” I ask. He grabs my hand, making my breath hitch in my throat slightly at our touch. He leads me to his bedroom. Was this it? Was he making his move? I didn’t necessarily think he’d be so bold as to bed me right away, but I also wasn’t complaining. I thought to myself before he proves me wrong. He opens his bedroom door and leads me inside, and I smile big once I see what he’s done.
His bed is full of pillows from both his room and the spare bedroom, and they’re covered in a huge blanket. There’s another sherpa blanket on the bed with a cute teddy bear on my side where I usually sleep. On his nightstand is a bowl of popcorn, and bags of my favorite candies. He had turned his ceiling lights off and had fairy lights draped over his headboard illuminating the room. Also lighting the room was his TV which had one of my favorite Disney movies cued up ready to watch.
Chris steps back as I walk around the room taking it all on.
“Chris! This is so sweet!” I gawk as I jump into his bed and wrap myself in the softest blanket and he follows suit. We lay in his bed together in silence for a moment before he grabs the teddy bear and handing it to me with a smile. I take the bear from his hands and wrap it tight in my arms.
Chris’s POV:
“Chris, what’s all this for?” Y/N asks looking at me with her beautiful eyes.
I knew that she’d ask why I went all out. I had ran a couple scenarios of her possible questions in my head, and embarrassingly enough I may or may not have practiced what I was going to say with Nick in the car earlier…
“Well, it’s for you.” Duh? Chris I think that’s kinda obvious you dumb fuck. I don’t think any amount of practicing could’ve prepared me to face the prettiest, sweetest girl I’ve ever met in my life. I could feel my heart beating faster with each passing moment. She smiles, her eyes softening, and she scootches closer to me.
“You did all this for me? Why?” She asks sweetly. I knew she’d love the surprise, but also knew she’d be confused.
I really tried my best to prepare for this talk, but I was still so nervous. I didn’t know what to say.
I take a deep inhale before starting the conversation.
“I— I did this for you because I wanted to. Well I mean obviously I wanted to or else I wouldn’t have done this. What I mean is I want to show you what I think of you. Or, I mean, how I feel… and I— ugh.” I sigh and burry my face in my hands now completely embarrassed from my nervous rambling. “I don’t know how to use my words.” I mumble into my hands.
I feel a soft, gentle hand on mine pulling it slowly from my face, and I’m met with Y/N as her eyes lock on mine. When my hands are back down in my lap she reaches her hand up to gently cup my cheek, not breaking eye contact. Her eyes flicker from mine down to my lips, and back up to mine before speaking;
“Then don’t use your words…”
I bring my hand up to lay on top of hers cupping my cheek, and I lean in to her touch. I bring my other hand gently to the nape of her neck and pull her closer. Her face is mere inches away from mine. Our eyes breaking contact and moving to our lips. She slowly closes her eyes, and I pull her in fully and plant my lips on hers.
Her lips were soft. Sweet, even. They molded perfectly with mine as we kiss. The kiss is gentle and eager at the same time. I’ve only ever dreamed of this moment, and I can’t believe it’s finally happening.
We pull away from our kiss, our foreheads still touching. I open my eyes first to look at her, and when she opens hers a sweet smile creeps on her lips making me laugh softly.
“Hi.” I say in a whisper.
“Hi Chris.”
“I really like you, Y/N.”
“I really like you too.”
She pulls me in, this time with more force, and plants a passionate kiss on my lips.
We continue to kiss for a moment before I pull back.
“Will you be my girl?” I ask.
She smiles, nodding her head feverishly before bringing her lips back to mine and throwing her hands around my neck.
I’m in heaven.
**********
I honestly didn’t know how to end this and I’m kinda cringing but oh well.
Happy Thanksgiving y’all! 🦃
— Kay ���
290 notes · View notes
yourheart-inmyhands · 1 year ago
Note
hii silly ask anon back with another silly ask😓 (before i continue tysm for answering the last one i enjoyed it sm!!🫶🏻) how would yan!zhongli, pantalone (help me i love them) and childe react to darling going absolutely feral with rage anytime they are near😭?
like they’ll get home and be like “i’m home pookie💗” and reader will scream their head off crying and throwing stuff at them
this is so long sorry but could i be 🐚 anon?
ofc you can! the more anons the merrier :D also this is such an interesting thought because there are so many different ways for the yandere to reaction in a situation like this and it's certainly not talked about enough with the diverse types so i hope you enjoy :D
Tumblr media
Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including delusional behaviors, implied being held against will, force-feeding, mentions of being drugged, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!
Yandere!Zhongli would be well prepared, readying his shield before getting within arms reach of you. It really does come in handy for your more unruly days and he appreciates its usefulness. While he doesn’t want to see you enter the mindbroken or emotionally numb state, he’s worried that he might not have any other choice but to push you to that, lest you calm down otherwise.
“Fret not dear, it’s merely food. If you flip it over again I’m afraid I’ll have to go back to spoon feeding you.” Zhongli enters the room with a plated meal for you, setting it down at your feet. His shield was already activated, the faint glow from Geo illuminating the room as you glowered up at him. Your spot on the floor, chained down for your safety and his, was not ideal but for now it was practical. Mixed with the low lighting of the room and its generally chilly temperature, Zhongli hoped to create a strong feeling of isolation, one that would slowly drive you insane. If need be though, he had other options for breaking you, he just preferred this one. It was the most humane after all.
Yandere!Pantalone would only tolerate it for so long. He can replace all the furniture and decorations in his home with less easily broken replicas until you calm down. He can sleep in bed at night while you slept in a cage built into the walls of the closet. He could eat his meals alone while you starved in another room, too busy fretting about it being poisoned, that all he could tolerate. But the screaming was something else.
No one in Zapolyarny Palace heard your screams and wails, and those who did were ordered not to pay mind to it. It was a wasted effort that had Pantalone often sitting with his head in his hands, trying to find some sort of solution. He had run across a few temporary ones, a sleeping agent from Dottore for night time, sound proof walls in his office for business hours. But nothing could help him outside though hours, like at dinner time. You were kept in a separate room strictly for feeding due to the mess you often made, while Pantalone sat alone at the empty kitchen table. The home in general looked devoid of life outside the small inhabitant of Pantalone. This was because it was supposed to be your home, but you were often too busy throwing a hissy-fit to enjoy it and Pantalone was getting really sick of your behavior.
Yandere!Childe would take it as a challenge, playfully wrestling you to pin you down so he could feed you during the day. You could kick and scream and punch all you want, he’s taken worse and won’t stop until he’s physically unable to move. The screaming doesn’t bother him either, he just thinks you need more time to adjust is all.
Another day, another miserable feeding session. You were currently pinned underneath Childe, the ginger having pinned you to the floor with your hands held tightly to your chest as he slowly fed you bites of a sandwich. Any attempts to spit them out would be met with a pout, he had worked hard to make it for you ya know, and any attempts to not eat would be met with a quick pinch of your nose to force you to open your mouth. The worst part was possibly how normal Childe acted about the whole thing, chatting amicably to you about his day as he shoved bits of food down your throat. One time you had kept spitting food at him and in response he covered your mouth with his hand to prevent you from continuing the childish act. You had bit down as hard as you physically could on the male's palm just for him to not flinch and continue his silly little stories like nothing had happened. Being stuck with this guy was hopeless for you.
354 notes · View notes
screamting · 2 months ago
Note
what r ur thoughts on reconciliation between jason and bruce. is it really possible? what would it take? what would it look like? seen some stuff on my dash lately about that particularly thorny issue and would love to get your perspective. (hopefully this is the kind of ask ur looking for)
(you are FINE this is going to be the bane of my fandom career) 
So realistically we're not going to see Jason reconcile with Bruce because a) everybody loves angst b) no one is talking about the ISSUE. 
The ISSUE is not the murder thing. Like. The murder thing doesn't help but it isn't the root; killing people is something Jason decided to start doing because it was something Bruce is extremely firm on. He stands by the 'no murder' thing even when his own life and the lives of others are in danger. He stands SO firmly by it, that if you break that rule maybe you can break the entire foundation of Batman, which is that things are never so far gone they can't be redeemed. Gotham is never so far gone it isn't worth trying to repair. We are not cutting the rot away we are building an environment which no longer collapses into rot around us, even if it is gross, demeaning, dangerous work. 
If Bruce killed the Joker in Under the Red Hood I think Jason would have been lost forever. Because it would've been proof that Bruce's most fervent beliefs meant nothing. If Bruce's hardest promise, that he would not kill, was broken so easily, then what does that mean about all his other promises? All the promises that he loved Jason and would never send him away? If his hardest promise can be broken, do those easy promises even stand a chance? 
I think the issue is and always will be: Did you love me? Do you love me still? 
All those posts about coming back wrong and unlovable, and what if I was unlovable the whole time and it was just that I can't even be bothered to pretend anymore? That's Jason Todd. He crawled his way out of his own grave an open wound and he is trying to convince himself that he's doing fine while actively bleeding. I feel insane reading some of the discourse because it's talking about Jason from the pov of his disenfranchisement and that as driving him in Red Hood and like. No! Jason is disenfranchised, he was failed by the systems, absolutely; I do not fucking believe he is doing any of this for people like him. He is saying things that validate his pain because he cannot deal with the enormous amount of pain he is in. He died and came back to life. He did it in a way people don't know or understand, or via Lazarus pit, which people condemn. I think to resolve things they'd need a god damn religious discussion to even start with, to ask Jason if he thinks anything that has died and come back to life can ever be good, or if it's just him. 
I think he must have had self-loathing and insecurity built up before his death and it Exploded when he came back to life several years later and saw from the out side people attempting to move on. This is not a victim blame because of course he had self-loathing and insecurity, he was a kid with a difficult childhood and you need at least five years to a decade to start feeling like someone else, who maybe has confidence and certainty. I think being Robin let him borrow confidence, and so like, probably did feel great! He had a script and a role to fill and he was given a lot of practice to do it!
I think part of the problem is that post-resurrection is Jason has to figure out who he is for the first time again, even older now. He lost some of his teen years in figuring things out. He has the life experiences of a 14 year old and then training under assassins and then like. Drug lord?? For a bit?? 
Jason is not fighting for the disenfranchised. He is trying to figure out who the hell he is and is bouncing around so many teams and timelines and shit that all already know him and know him as the dead kid that I think for him and Bruce to make up, like. He probably needs to have a job?
Not for money necessarily, because like. The Wayne fortune is right there. But I think he needs to go somewhere, with a schedule, for like at least six months in a row, and have something low stakes dependent on him. Like a dog or something. Maybe get involved in local theater. Take the dog to dog training twice a week and teach small children acting in the afternoons. 
And once a week or whenever they feel like it Bruce and Jason can have a phone call, and Jason can bring up what's happening at the theater and how the dog is, and Bruce can talk about Wayne Corp shit. 
And if Jason learns from dog time about someone who is mistreating an animal or a partner then like maybe he goes and steals a dog or tells someone to come stay over at his house for a while and gives them some cash. And after he does something rash he still needs to come back to his apartment and feed the dog and show up to the theater the next day. 
I think he needs to see the world around him when it ISN'T homelessness and assassins guilds and running out into the streets at night looking for trouble. 
'but you haven't addressed anything for bruce to do' for Bruce to have to do anything we first need to get jason at the table. 'bruce beat jason in x comic/brainwashed him into an overactive fear response/almost certainly also something else' 
1. i'm choosing to say besides the throat thing that people hate (bc I get that. Bruce needs to say 'yes I was panicking and my writer was being dramatic I'm sorry' ) bruce doesn't beat his kids or any rogues in general once they're at a point they're no longer trying to kill/hurt anyone either. 
2. tbh I think the anxiety brainwashing is facinating and definitely something Bruce might have thought about but making it and using it is fully in 'I was also having a 3 day long mental breakdown' territory. However since Jason put a lot of heads in a duffle bag during HIS mental breakdown I think this might again be within 'yeah that was fucked up I'm sorry about that' territory.
Honestly I wish that Jason had gone to Bruce after the Selina 'making thieves pay 15% to charity' thing and they had just had the BIGGEST bitching fest about it with each other.  I think that, faster than literally any amount of relaxation and therapy, would have gotten them back on the same side. They need to get in a room together and just. Bitch about it. Jason saw the WORST adaptation the other day. Bruce is dealing with the MOST stuck up prick at the board meeting. 
Before they can fix anything they need to remember why they even loved each other. If they feel it again maybe they'll work to save it. But no one is going to fix a relationship where it feels like an obligation for a feeling you aren't sure even exists anymore.
72 notes · View notes
oacest · 25 days ago
Note
My thoughts on the audio are that I genuinely cannot come up with a sane explanation. I don't think Liam was necessarily in the studio but he has to be talking about him, right? Like IDK there was some visual effect or whatever, literally who else could be the cunt Noel doesn't want to see. Beyond which I am not a proper scholar so please let me know if I'm way off base but I have an extended divorce theory that goes:
2009: Breakup, they're both big mad for a minute
201?-2012: They are texting and like, sending their kids to the same school. possibly the most normal they've ever been.
2013-2015: Liam blows his entire life up and is extremely sad about the consequences of his own actions. I saw actual video footage of Noel saying that he's shocked beady eye broke up and he's actually sweet about it and tells Liam not to give up? who is this man. anyway while Liam will later claim Noel wasn't there for him during the divorce but as a general rule they're much nicer about each other when they're divorcing other people. this is where I become extremely conspiratorial because at some point they had to get the documentary off the ground and a second, more personal breakup is clearly going down around this time. I believe in their ability to deeply wound each other by playing cryptic telephone through the press but I think it genuinely makes more sense if they were actually talking, perhaps about a potential reunion.
2016-2020: supersonic documentary and also (coincidentally?) the apocalypse. Liam launches his solo career, Noel hates it and is pretty relentlessly mean about it and about Liam more generally. we are gearing up for the kind of tweeting/podcast commenting where you call your brother your ex-wife. I think this is also when Noel decides to drag Molly into it for some reason. Liam says publicly that he thinks Noel was waiting for him to hit rock bottom so he could be magnanimous about saving him. whether he thinks this because of something concrete noel did or said or because he's liam is a mystery. the Anais incident goes down, the vogue article comes out. we are never ever getting back together for real this time. noel says a bunch of normal and well adjusted stuff about how he wants Liam to die in a self driving car crash with Donald Trump and seeing his face makes him want to shoot up a MacDonalds.
2020-2022: the pandemic saves oasis. I'm serious. they're both stuck sitting at home with nothing to distract them from themselves and think of brighter days. apparently being trapped in a house with noel is genuinely so unbearable that Sara calls it quits (in the matter of Sara v. Noel I'm on her side). presumably this was cause for at least some self reflection. divorce is a lonely and difficult experience, sara and liam seem to legit hate each other in a way that would be a barrier to reconciliation (in the matter of Sara v. Liam I am also on her side but less so bcs she didn't get trapped in a house with him). at the same time Liam pulls off Knebworth 2022, demonstrating he can handle big events without headcasing (and without noel, and he will be doing those big events solo or otherwise). at this point I genuinely think it was just a matter of time before we were back, baybeee! let's hope they can keep it together.
bro your brain is so huge and deeply wrinkled, profoundly agree with all of this. why you on anon when your opinions are so correct and you could be sharing them with us directly tbh 👀.
but yeah, 100% covid saved oasis lmao. noel's divorce saved oasis. noel's miserable midlife crisis (ongoing) saved oasis 🥰🥰🥰. and it juuuuuust really seems like all those insane highs and lows that went on publicly in the media between them over the years probably, or at least quite possibly, had irl personal catalysts rather than just a general holdover of ill will from the 2000s. there are so many random little times one or both of them casually mentioned they were in contact, and any one of those instances can be disregarded, but when considered in retrospect from a collective standpoint..... AWFULLY DAMNING!!!
lots more to say about all of this actually, every point you've made is legit af and could be expounded upon for a hundred years, but it's midnight and im coming down with a flu (punishment for some kind of hubris im sure), so. thank you for all of this and goodnight 🙏
56 notes · View notes
nelkenbabe · 2 years ago
Text
the conversations between solas and varric drive me to insanity, i think they might be the longest consecutive, interconnected pieces of dialogue between any companions.
there are so many layers and so much back and forth pushing, so much being said without saying it. they explain so much about solas’ current state of mind, but also show the effects of what happened in da2 on varric
Solas: I find the fall of the dwarven lands confusing.
Varric: What's so confusing about endless darkspawn?
Solas: A great deal, although that is a different matter. Dwarves control the flow of lyrium. They could tighten their grip on it.
Varric: It's hard to get the attention of the humans when the darkspawn aren't up here messing with their stuff.
Solas: You're active in the Carta. You know your people could tug the purse strings. You could claim sovereign land on the surface, or demand help restoring the dwarven kingdom, but you don't.
Varric: You're not saying anything I haven't said myself, Chuckles. Orzammar is what it is.
───────
Solas: Is there at least a movement to reunite Orzammar and Kal-Sharok?
Varric: What is it with you, Chuckles? Why do you care so much about the dwarves?
Solas: Once, in the Fade, I saw the memory of a man who lived alone on an island. Most of his tribe had fallen to beasts or disease. His wife had died in childbirth. He was the only one left. He could have struck out on his own to find a new land, new people. But he stayed. He spent every day catching fish in a little boat, every night drinking fermented fruit juice and watching the stars.
Varric: I can think of worse lives.
Solas: How can you be happy surrendering, knowing it will all end with you?  How can you not fight?
Varric: I suppose it depends on the quality of the fermented fruit juice.
Solas: So it seems.
Solas:: I am sorry to have bothered you with my questions about your people Varric. I see so much of this world in dreams. Humans, my own people, even qunari. Dwarves alone were lost to me, save scattered fragments of memory where some spirit cared to watch. Now I know why I see so little.
Varric: And why is that?
Solas:: Dwarves are the severed arm of a once mighty hero, lying in a pool of blood. Undirected. Whatever skill of arms it had, gone forever. Although it might twitch to give the appearance of life, it will never dream. 
Varric: I'd avoid mentioning that to any Carta, Chuckles. They might not take it the right way. 
───────
Varric: What's with you and the doom stuff? Are you always this cheery or is the hole in the sky getting to you?
Solas: I've no idea what you mean.
Varric: All the "fallen empire" crap you go on about. What's so great about empires anyway?
Varric: So we lost the Deep Roads, and Orzammar is too proud to ask for help. So what? We're not Orzammar and we're not our empire.
Varric: There are tens of thousands of us living up here in the sunlight now, and it's not that bad.
Varric: Life goes on. It's just different than it used to be.
Solas: And you have no concept of what that difference cost you.
Varric: I know what it didn't cost me. I'm still here, even after all those thaigs fell.
───────
Solas: You truly are content to sit in the sun, never wondering what you could've been, never fighting back.
Varric: Ha, you've got it all wrong, Chuckles. This is fighting back.
Solas: How does passively accepting your fate constitute a fight?
Varric: In that story of yours—-the fisherman watching the stars, dying alone. You thought he gave up, right?
Solas: Yes.
Varric: But he went on living. He lost everyone, but he still got up every morning. He made a life, even if it was alone.
Varric: That's the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you've got, it takes. And it's gone forever.
Varric: The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That's as close to beating the world as anyone gets.
Solas: Well said. Perhaps I was mistaken.
Varric: You know what I like about you, Chuckles? Your boundless optimism.
Solas: It's comforting that whatever qualities I lack, you'll invent for me, Varric.
Varric: No, really. Why else would an elven apostate help crazy Chantry folk close a hole in the sky?
Solas: When you put it like that, I must concede your point.
PLEASE
2K notes · View notes
izzytheloser12 · 6 months ago
Text
~~~Since yall like the other incorrect quotes i've made more~~~
Kaito: I just learned a way to get stuff on the cheap. Steal it!
~~~~~~~
Akako: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.
~~~~~~~~
*Yusaku goes shopping with child Shinichi*
Shinichi: Can I get a silenced pistol? Yusaku: If there’s one on sale.
~~~~~~~~~
*kaito and Aoko are having a sleepover*
Kaito: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner. Aoko: Kaito, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck. Kaito: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not. Aoko: Well, I mean yeah. Kaito: So come downstairs while they’re still hot. Aoko: Wait, you just made them? Kaito: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets. Aoko: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time Kaito.
~~~~~~~~~
Ran: Truth or dare? Shinichi: Truth. Ran: How many hours have you slept this week? Shinichi: Shinichi: Dare. Ran: Go to sleep. Shinichi: I don't like this game.
~~~~~~~~~~
Shinichi: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us. Kaito: If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.
~~~~~~
Kaito, trying to flirt: So, you come around here often? Shinichi, confused: I mean, this is my house, so yeah.
~~~~~~~~~
Shinichi: Did Kaito just tell me he loved me for the first time? Heiji: Yeah, he did. Shinichi: And did I just do finger guns back? Heiji: Yeah, you did.
~~~~~~~
Hakuba: I asked Heiji out. Kaito: Oh, I’m sorry. Hakuba: Why? Kaito: Well, I assume they said no. Hakuba: No, they said yes. Kaito: Really? Then I’m sorry for them.
~~~~~~~~~~
Shinichi: Fight me! Kaito: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Kaito: Fight me for the rest of our lives.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Hakuba: Regular soda is too sweet! Kaito: Diet soda has a weird after taste! Hakuba: No! Ugh, oh my god. Diet soda is THE BEST! It doesn't have sugar! It's SPICY! Kaito: It has other weird stuff in it! I'll take REGULAR sugar in my REGULAR soda! Hakuba: It's SO SWEET like it's a dessert though! Diet feels more like a drink! Kaito: I'm going to physically attack you. Hakuba: Which is better, Shinichi? Shinichi: Oh, I usually drink water! Kaito: Wha- NO! Hakuba: DISGUSTING!
~~~~~~~~
Sonoko: Seriously, I have no idea what to do. Sonoko: Oh, wait! Yahoo! Answers.
~~~~~~~
Sonoko, texting: Answer your phone Ran, texting back: Wait a minute, I can’t find my phone Sonoko: Understood Sonoko, 5 minutes later: You’re a terrible person. You know you’re killing me. You’re killing me, Ran.
~~~~~~~~
Kazuha: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos- Ran: I wrote you a poem. Kazuha, already crying: You did?
~~~~~
Kazuha: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box. Sonoko: Did Ran say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'? Kazuha: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–
~~~~~~~
*Shinichi is babysitting Ayumi*
Shinichi: Come on, you need to go to bed. Ayumi: Mr. Snuffles says that I can stay up as long as I want. And that you need to die! Shinichi: … Shinichi: What the hell, Mr. Snuffles—
~~~~~~~
Shinichi: When I first got my autism diagnosis, my first thought was “woah… it’s canon” and I think that maybe thoughts like that is why Haibara made me get tested.
~~~~~~~
Haibara: Why are we friends? Conan: Poor decisions on your part.
~~~~~~~~
Akako: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me. Aoko: Ok. Akako: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?
~~~~~~~
*after Yukiko and Shinichi got into a fight*
Yukiko: OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?! TIME OUT! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE! GET UP THERE! Shinichi: Climbing THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!!!
~~~~~~
Akako: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into- Aoko: You sleep with a teddybear. Akako: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!
~~~~~
Kaito: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Shinichi: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.
111 notes · View notes
kaciidubs · 1 year ago
Text
A Pun-y Thanksgiving
Tumblr media Tumblr media
❣ Summary: A random thought about Chan and terrible Thanksgiving puns. ❣  ❣ Word Count: 739 ❣ Warnings: Fluff, corny puns [2], slice of life, discussions of family, implied Black! Reader [but neutral overall], Chan gets emotional over being loved ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Chan is referred to as Chris, Christopher, Channie, and Baby, lightly edited, that plate of food was not mine but it's close enough ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"I'll give you more than thanks tonight."
"Baby, please."
"A turkey isn't the only thing I'd like to stuff."
"Christopher, walk away from me."
"What?! You can't tell me that wasn't funny!"
"I can," you hummed, looking over your shoulder to see him leaning against the kitchen island with a cheesy grin, "and I will - that was not funny!"
"So why are you smiling?" He goaded, dimple pressing into his cheek as his grin grew.
An astonished laugh fell from your lips, though you couldn't reign in the smile that stuck to your face, "Because you're corny!"
"Or, because you did find it funny!"
"Oh my god." Turning back to the pot of boiling elbow noodles, you stirred away some of the foam, "You're gonna drive me insane before my own family does."
A pair of arms snaked their way around your waist, Chris tugging you slightly against his chest as he pressed the side of his face against yours. "You know you love me."
"I do, but if you say anything related to 'gravy', I'm leaving you here and telling my grandmother you couldn't make it to dinner."
He dramatically gasped, shaking his body with yours, "You wouldn't! I think I'll actually die without her yams this year, and Christmas is way too far away to have them again!"
You laughed, turning off the stove and grabbing the oven mitts that were on standby, "You're so whipped for her cooking - I'm surprised you haven't figured out she makes extra just for you."
"She does?" His hold on you slipped as you picked up the pot of macaroni, stepping back to let you pour it into the strainer waiting in the sink. "Since when?"
"Our second Thanksgiving together when I had to make a to-go container full of them alone, and she asked if I was making you a plate and I had to tell her that, that was your plate." You placed the empty pot back on the stove, "And I still think it's unfair because I'm her grandchild! I asked her so many times to make me a separate batch, I'd even buy her the stuff! But no, she wouldn't do it for me but anything goes for her grandson Chris!"
In the midst of your teasing rant, you hadn't noticed the silence from your boyfriend behind you until you had started the sauce mixture for the macaroni and cheese, urging you to turn around to look at him suspiciously.
"Chris?"
He gazed at you with soft eyes, an almost delicate pout set on his lips as a fine blush turned his ears red. "She likes me that much?"
Family had always been a huge factor for him, and the desire of having your entire family love him the way they loved you was something he had strived for since the first time they met. So, it was no surprise that hearing that your grandmother would go out of her way for him and his admiration for her cooking made his heart swell.
"Aw, Channie," you cooed, turning the stove to low before making quick steps over to him, your hands cupping his slightly puffed cheeks from rest. "She absolutely loves you - my whole family does! My aunts ask about you whenever they call, my younger cousins always ask to see you, and even though my uncles joke about putting you in a shallow ditch if you break my heart - they can see how much you care about me and they honestly look forward to having you around."
Guiding his head down, you placed a quick kiss on his lips, giggling when he followed you away to steal another.
"My family loves you, my extended family loves you, and you already know I love you."
His pout melted into a smile, one you embarrassingly missed for the few moments it was gone, "Even with my corny jokes?"
You rolled your eyes but nodded in agreement, "Even with your corny jokes. Now, help me finish the mac and cheese and we can start getting ready - I'm sure if we stay here longer we're gonna be the last ones to get a plate, and I'll be damned if I let my cousin get to the corn pudding first."
Slinking your way our of his arms, you took to stirring the sauce mixture before speaking over your shoulder;
"Then when we get home, I'll show you what else I'm thankful for."
Tumblr media
✧. ┊Tagged lovelies: @goblinracha, @having-an-internal-crisis-rn, @midnightfrog625, @anyhow-everything, @bangchanbabygirlx, @sweetracha, @j-onedrabbles, @happilydeepestwonderland, @nightimescapes, @caitlyn98s, @ch4nn13luv, @ihrtlix, @sometimesleeknows, @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997, @instabull, @maximumkillshot, @bandolls, @y-ur--i, @acker-night, @dreamescapeswriting, @sunnyhonie, @specialstay, @broken-glowsticks, @s00buwu, @all4innie, @dancerachaslut, @junglyric
✧. ┊If your username is in bold italics that means tumblr won't let me tag you. If you’d like to be added to the taglist, fill out this form!
315 notes · View notes
c1oud999 · 11 months ago
Text
hi
i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.
basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.
thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.
lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.
254 notes · View notes
julilovesyou444 · 1 year ago
Note
hey baee that last fic u did was so good i literally loved it tysm it was so cute!! i have another request - could you write smth where the reader is the 5th member of the band and tom has lit been in love w her since they were kids, and it’s only when they’re like 16/17 that he finally accepts it and confesses to the reader?? like it’s so unlike him to be all soppy and stuff so he didn’t wanna accept his feelings and he’s like super nervous bc he doesn’t wanna like ruin the friendship or anything but ofc the reader likes him back 😋😋 THAT WAS SO LONG LMAO and super specific again but anyways tysm 💗💗💗
i know you ~ tom kaulitz
Tumblr media Tumblr media
ty for requesting bb! I’m so happy you liked the last one!! hopefully this one is okay too! enjoy💗💗 if anyone wants, feel free to request
warnings: swearing, yelling, drinking, partying, kissing, thats it i think ??
a/n~ thank you for 100 followers!! I sound stupid saying that but seriously the support means so much to me, gustav req coming soon!! stay tuned and enjoy this little piece for now💟 also thank you for all the comments and messages, I LOVE YOU GUYS🫶
(okay but angry love confessions >>>)
sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes !!
~
“are we doing anything tonight?”, i asked, laying down on the tour bus’ couch. My legs were draped across bills, he had insisted. We had been on the schrei tour for about a month now. the change from regular life to tour life was insane. we were on the schrei tour, about a couple months or so in. We had a little trouble adjusting at first, we were all getting into a lot of arguments, but now we were fine. Bill and Tom still get into arguments a lot, though. Tom has been acting weirder than usual, and i kinda felt like most of this behavior was aimed at me. It felt like he was distant, and I couldn’t figure out why. I have had a crush on Tom for just about as long as I can remember, but I always pushed away those feelings because I loved our friendship too much, and I didn’t want to confess to him and for there to be a rift in between us. I knew for a fact he didn’t like me back. He had so many absolutely gorgeous fan girls who liked him, so there was no way he liked me. He was also kind of a player. That hurt a little at first, but just like the whole situation, I learned to live with it.
“Uhh, i dont think so. We could do something, though. I wouldn’t mind.”, Bill replied, typing something on his phone. The door to the bus opened, and Tom walked in. The smell of cigarettes followed him. We were waiting on Georg and Gustav to finish up the grocery shopping. I thought he was going to go sit down on his bed, but I was wrong. He was staring down at me.
“What?”, i asked.
“Sit up. I wanna sit on the couch too.”, he said flatly. I groaned and sat up for a second, my legs still over Bills. I looked back and saw that Tom was sat behind me, both of his arms resting on the top of the couch. I fell back onto his lap, my head resting on top of his legs. I felt him tense up under me. He raised his eyebrows at me in a judgy way and I rolled my eyes.
“Who said I’m allowing you to do that?”, he said in a bratty tone.
“Deal with it.”
“I guess I will because it doesn’t really seem like I have a choice.”, he huffed.
“Okay, I’m tired of your guys’ bickering, I’m going to go check on Gustav and Georg and see what is taking them so long. Hans is in the store too, I guess he got tired of sitting and driving all day. I’ll be back soon.”, Bill said, lifting my legs up and letting himself get up. Before either Tom or I could protest, he left.
The silence engulfed us. It felt awkward, and I hated it. I had known Tom since we were seven. He had always been a bit of an asshole, but he was nice too. Lately I had just been getting asshole Tom. He seemed somewhat normal with everyone else, except for me. I started to overthink. Did he find out I liked him? Was he uncomfortable around me now? Did he think I was weird?
“sorry for laying on you, I’ll get up.”, i quickly said as I began to sit up. Tom grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back down into his lap.
“No. You can stay. If you want.”, he said flatly.
“Oh… okay, yea.”
I looked up at him as he gazed back down at me. I couldn’t figure out what was going on with him. What had changed between us? When he was a kid, he would treat me just like he treated everyone else in the band.
“Is everything okay?”, i asked softly.
“What do you mean?”
I could tell he knew exactly what I meant.
“Oh, I don’t know, it’s stupid, nevermind.”, I looked away.
“No, tell me.”, he used his finger to direct my chin back toward him. His eyes were slightly narrowed.
“I don’t know, Tom, you just seem different, that’s all. I feel like you haven’t been yourself lately, but I’m probably just dumb and it’s all in my head.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I’m sorry.”, i immediately apologized in fear of making him angry.
“Why? You have no reason to be.”
Everything he did confused me.
“Okay, well, I just feel like you’ve been a little distant.”
“I haven’t been.”, he said. He sounded a little bit annoyed.
“Okay, sorry.”
“Will you stop saying sorry?”, he lashed out.
I froze. He usually never yelled at me. He knew I hated when people yelled at me. No matter what the situation was, if someone yelled at me, I would cry. He knew that. I sat up and he tried to get me to stay. I shrugged him off and stood up.
“Um, I think I’m gonna go take a nap in my bunk, I’m pretty tired.”, I mumbled.
“Just wait-“
“Leave it, Tom.”, i said quietly before walking away and over to my bunk. I heard Tom curse underneath his breath. I laid down, and about a minute after doing so, I heard everyone load back onto the bus.
“Okay, we have about two hours left in our drive to Dresden and then you guys can get checked into your hotel and do whatever you want for the rest of the day.”, Hans, our driver, announced. Everyone agreed.
“Where’s did she go?”, i heard Bill ask. He sounded confused.
“Her bed, she’s taking a nap.”, Tom replied.
“What did you do now?”, Bill teased.
“Fuck off.”, Tom said back.
“Calm down.”, Georg said.
“Can we just go?”, Tom yelled up to the front of the bus at Hans.
I felt the bus start to move. I got under the covers. I was still very in love with Tom, and the way he was acting towards me hurt me so much. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I missed the way things were. I silently cried for a minute, I felt so stupid. He shouldn’t have this kind of effect on me. I hated crying. I felt like a baby. I fell asleep within a few minutes, trying to forget about what was happening.
~
I felt the bus come to a sharp stop. I blinked my eyes open. I could hear Tom and Bill arguing. I couldn’t see them because I was in the back of the bus, but whatever they were talking about, sounded serious. I stood up and walked over to the cracked door. They couldn’t see me, and I could only see a sliver of them.
Bill was standing up, lecturing Tom about something.
“If you like her, why don’t you just tell her??? I don’t get it.”
“I don’t fucking like her, just fuck off.”, Tom spat back at him.
“Yes you do! It’s obvious! You have since, forever! We can all see that you do. We also all see you treat her like she’s nothing, don’t you think that hurts her?”
“It is kind of obvious.”, Gustav trailed off. They were probably talking about one of the many girls Tom was leading on. He always did this. It didn’t surprise me.
“Shut up, Gustav. And so what if I do like her? How is that any of your business? I’m not going to jeopardize the band or anything else for that matter for some silly crush.”
“It’s not a silly crush, Tom. You’re in love with her.”, Bill said. It was silent.
My stomach dropped. So that’s why he’s been acting all weird. He’s in love with another girl. I couldn’t listen anymore. I stepped out the door and stretched, acting like I heard nothing.
Everyone’s eyes darted to me.
“Good morning, everyone! We are here?”, i said as cheerfully as possible. I wanted to play it off like I was completely fine and like the boy I’ve been in love with since I was seven wasnt in love with some other girl I didn’t even know.
“You just woke up?”, Georg asked. Everyone looked a little worried.
“Yea! Your guys’ fucking yelling woke me up so I figured you were probably arguing over the set list, of course you were dicks are deciding without me so I wanted to come and help choose.”, I laughed. Acting skills, on point. The band looked relieved.
“Well, if that’s over then let’s go get settled into the hotel.”. I suggested. Everyone nodded.
Hans went into the hotel lobby and got us checked in while we unpacked all of our stuff onto caddys. He came back, handed us our keys and told us our floor and room numbers. Georg and Gustav shared a room, as well as Bill and Tom. I had a room to myself, it had always been that way.
We took our stuff inside and went up the elevators into our hotel rooms. I unpacked my stuff pretty quickly before going over to Bill’s room to try and make plans for tonight.
I knocked on their door. Tom cracked it open and squinted his eyes at me before opening it all the way. I pushed past him but he grabbed me and pulled me back.
I furrowed my brows at him and tried to continue walking, but he wouldn’t let me.
“Can you not be so stubborn and just hear me out?”, he said. I stopped trying to get out of his grasp and crossed my arms over my body. I widened my eyes and shook my head a little, giving him a cue to start talking.
“I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s with me lately, but you’re right, i havent really been myself.”
I sighed. I didn’t want him to feel bad, especially for loving another girl. It was rare that Tom genuinely liked someone, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that.
“I know why, Tom. Its okay, I understand now. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or something. I wont get so close to you anymore.”
He looked so confused.
“Wait what? What do you mean ‘uncomfortable’? And I never said I didn’t want you close to me? What are you talking about?”
“Tom, I know you. You’re like my bestfriend, its okay. You don’t have to keep secrets from me. And im not gonna be upset if you don’t want me to be as touchy and stuff with you. I wouldn’t want to do anything to affect your relationship or whatever you are deciding to call it.”
“What are you talking about?”, he asked. He was acting so shocked. Then Bill walked out of the bathroom. Since he clearly wasn’t comfortable with telling me about the girl he was in love with, I wasn’t going to push, so I changed the subject.
“Bill!”
“Oh, hi!”, he smiled, noticing me.
“I was thinking, what if we went to a club tonight?”
“OH MY GOSH, YES!!! please! I need to party, I’ve been so drained from always doing shows, that would be just what I need. you’d come too, right, Tom?”, Bill asked.
“Yea, I guess.”, Tom nonchalantly replied. He acted as if he was too good for that stuff.
“Go tell Georg and Gustav.”, Bill instructed.
“Why do I have to? Why can’t you?”, Tom complained.
“Because you know I take the longest to get ready! It’s getting late already so I’d like to leave sooner than later.”
“Ugh, fine.”, Tom said, rolling his eyes before leaving the room.
“What’s his deal?”, i asked.
Bill hesistated.
“Uhh, i dont know, he’s been weird. Tom will get over it soon though, don’t worry.”
“Oh, okay… it doesn’t have anything to do with me, right?”, i asked, trying to slyly investigate.
I saw Bill physically get taken aback.
“Uhhhhh no! No, I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”
“Uh i just feel like he’s been acting weird towards me I guess. We used to like jokingly flirt and be pretty close but we don’t ever really do that anymore and it feels kind of weird, but I think I know why.”
“Oh… and why is that?”
“He’s in love with somebody. I don’t know who, but it’s probably one of the girls he’s slept with. I think Tom just feels weird with me being how I used to be like with him because he is in love with her, y’know what I mean?”
“Wait-wait, where did you get this from?”, Bills mouth was agape.
“Don’t be mad but I heard you guys arguing on the bus. I heard only part of it. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything, but obviously the rest of the guys know and Tom is refusing to tell me too. He doesn’t know I already know, but I don’t really understand what is stopping him from telling me.”
“Oh… I see.”, Bill said, contemplating his next words.
“I think he will tell you when he’s ready, I think he just wants you to approve of him and he thinks highly of you. I also think you make him a little nervous.”, he finally added.
“Me? Make Tom nervous? Funny, but no way.”, I laughed. Bill made a face and shrugged.
“Okay, I’m gonna go get ready, I’ll see you in like 45.”, I said, turning for the door.
“Wait!”
“Hm?”
“I have a question, answer honestly, please.”
“What is it Bill?”
“Do you have feelings for Tom?”
I could feel myself immediately get flustered and my cheeks start to get red. Fuck fuck fuck.
“What?”, i laughed awkwardly.
“Please, I’m your bestfriend, you can tell me if you do.”
“Why do you even think that? Tom is my best friend just like you are.”
“You aren’t denying it.”
“Bill, please.”
“Do you?”, he asked again.
I gave him pleading eyes, asking him to leave it alone.
“Bill…”
“You can tell me anything. I wouldn’t judge you at all.”, he placed his hands on my shoulders.
I sighed again. Even if I said I didn’t, I knew Bill wouldn’t believe me.
“Maybe?”, i scrunched my face up a bit.
Bill smiled.
“Why are you so happy?”, i asked, unclear on whatever was going on in his head.
“No reason…”
“Please, Bill. Don’t say anything to Tom. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, he means too much to me. And I don’t want to get in the way of his relationship with this girl.”
Bill smiled at me again. He shook his head.
“I promise I won’t. And if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about another girl.”
“I thought he loves her though?”
“Just dont worry about it, go get ready!! And look hot! Not that you don’t already, but go get more hot!”, he said pushing me to the door, a smile permanently engraved on his face.
“Bill- wait Bill-“I stuttered as he pushed me out the door.
“Hm?”
“Please, I’m serious. Don’t say anything.”
“I won’t. Boyscouts honor.”, he held two fingers in the air before slamming the door in my face. I was greeted by Tom leaning against the wall. I flinched, I hadn’t seen him because he was standing behind the open door. His arms were crossed over his chest.
“Jesus, fuck! You scared me.”, i yelled.
“Don’t say anything about what? What were you guys talking about?”
“Nothing.”
“I hate when you keep secrets from me.”
“You’re one to talk.”, i replied, defensively.
“What? Was it about me? Are you embarrassed or something?”, he took a step closer to me, his face now adorned with a smug grin. I scoffed.
“Get over yourself, Tom. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”
“Maybe not, but sometimes I begin to think you do.”, he teased.
I rolled my eyes and turned around to go to my hotel.
“Be ready soon!”, he called after me as i slammed the door.
~
Bill banged on my door, for the third time in the last five minutes.
“HURRY UPPPPP”, he groaned. I finished zipping up my shoe before opening the door. Bill looked annoyed but as soon as he saw me, his face lit up.
“Oh. My. God.”, he said, looking me up and down.
“You like?”, i asked, already knowing the answer. I was wearing a denim mini skirt that was way too short, a black lacy top that had long belle sleeves with a pretty cleavagey v-neck. It was cropped perfectly to display my belly button ring. I of course had a ton of jewellry on too, with a bit of makeup as well. I wore platform black boots that went up part of my calf. They were leather and I had been gifted them, but I rarely got the chance to wear them.
“Obviously!”, bill exclaimed.
I walked out to see the rest of the band waiting in the hallway. They all looked a little shocked when they saw my outfit. I usually didn’t dress-up too much, mainly because I didn’t have the confidence to do so. I decided to just let go and have fun tonight.
I walked past them and they just stood there. I clicked the button for the elevator and looked back at them down the hallway.
“Are you guys coming or…?”
They scurried down the hallway and got into the lift with me. We decided to go to a club that was only two blocks away. It was a pretty popular club, and we usually got into most clubs that we tried to because of our status in Germany. The bouncer recognized us and let us skip the line. Perks of being semi-famous I guess.
The music was so loud I could barely hear my own thoughts. Bill grabbed my hand to pull me away and get drinks. I turned away and grabbed Tom’s hand, dragging him along with us. At first he just let me hold his hand, but then he held it back, letting Bill and I lead him through the crowd of drunk people.
Bill ordered us all shots. Tom watched as i downed mine, and drank his not long after. Bill snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me away to the dance floor. We danced for a little before some random girl took it upon herself to steal him away. I couldn’t really blame her though. I danced by myself for a little but got bored and decided I wanted another drink. I made my way over to the bar and ordered a drink I saw another girl have. I began to drink it slowly, looking around. I made eye contact with a guy. He was by himself, looking me up and down. He smiled and i smiled back. He had to be at least 22. He approached me and asked if he could buy me a drink, despite me not even being close to the one i just got myself. I told him that if he wanted to, he had to dance with me first. He agreed, and we went over to crowd of dancing bodies.
At first, it started pretty innocent. Just giggling, drinking, and dancing. He started to get touchy, putting his hands on my waist. He had them slowly go from my waist, downwards. I would pull away whenever he got to close to the one thing he wanted, but no matter how many times I pulled away, he would always try to do it again. I looked over and was met with Tom’s eyes. They were staring at me, a sort of gross look on his face. Was he really that disgusted by me?
“can I get you that drink now?”, he winked. I internally cringed but said yes. Free drinks? Fine by me. He ordered me something, but nothing for himself. As soon as the drink was in my hand, he was urging and pressuring me to drink if. I did. Another drink, same deal. I downed the drink, wanting him to just leave me alone about it. Even though I told him not to, he ordered another drink. I tried to push it away, but he kept pushing it towards me. Finally, he put the drink down. I tried to back up, but he pulled me into a sloppy kiss that I wanted no part of. I tried to push him off but he was too strong, or maybe I was just to tipsy.
“get off of me.”
“please, stop”
but he wouldn’t.
“I don’t want this-“, i started, yet another plea for him to stop. a pair of hands yanked me back. before i could even see who it was, I saw Tom step in front of me and push that guy into the bar counter.
“She told you to get off her you fucking pervert. Is getting girls drunk enough so they hook up with you your only hobby. Pathetic.”, he spat. The guy looked like he wanted to say something back, or fight Tom, but he just cursed under his breath and stumbled away. I felt embarrassed. I shouldn’t have let myself get in that situation.
“Thank you.”, i mumbled to Tom. He shook his head.
“Just stop. You’re really fucking stupid sometimes y’know? Putting yourself in dumb situations like that.”, he rolled his eyes as he walked away. I wasn’t going to let him be that rude and just walk away, so I followed him. I watched as he weaved through people. I followed hom, but not to closely. I saw him open a door and go in before practically slamming it. It was too loud for anyone to even notice. I waited a minute before going into the door as well. There were a few flight of stairs. I climbed up them. I had finally made it to the top. I opened the door. The roof.
The cold air hit my face as I stepped out, the smell of cigarette smoke filling my senses. I saw Tom, standing towards the edge of the building, smoking as he looked out at the city. I began to walk over to him. The gravel crunched underneath my boots, making him turn around.
“What the fuck is your problem to me? You’ve been such a dick and I haven’t even done anything. I just want for things to be normal.”, i said, angered.
“They aren’t normal.”, he said, taking a puff of his cig.
“And how is that in any way my fault? I haven’t done anything to you, yet you are treating me like shit. You loving some girl doesn’t mean you can act like that, it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”
“It has EVERYTHING to do with you!”, he shouted.
“What the fuck did I do?! I don’t understand what I did to make you despise me so much! Why do you hate me so much?!”, I yelled back.
“I don’t hate you, I’m in love with you, you fucking idiot!”, he yelled. His eyes widened at his own words.
I was so confused. It didn’t feel real. I could barely comprehend what he had just said.
“What?”, was all I could manage to say. He looked so nervous, his hands shaking.
“I’m fucking in love with you, okay?? I have been ever since I’ve known you. I’ve tried to push it away, I’ve always denied it, but i cant anymore. I’ve tried everything and I can’t! I’ve slept with countless girls but the only thing I’ve ever been able to think about is you. You’re always on my mind and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get you out of my head. I’ve been being mean to try and distance you from me and make myself stop loving you but it’s fucking torture and it’s stupid and it hasn’t even worked in the slightest. Bill told me you heard us on the bus, it wasn’t some girl, we were talking about you. Its you, and it always has been. I feel sick when I see you with other guys, I get so jealous I can barely handle it. All I’ve ever wanted is you, and not having you is killing me. I’m sick and tired of pretending like I don’t love you because I do! Hate is the last thing on this earth that I feel about you. I love you so fucking much, and I’m sorry for treating you the way I have been.”, he yelled.
I could hardly believe anything I was hearing. Tom Kaulitz? In love with me? This is a prank, right? It felt like a dream.
“Are you serious?”, i asked.
“Really? After that long ass rant or about loving you, you don’t believe me?”, he dryly laughed.
“Tom, im serious, please…”
“Yes, I’ve never been more sure on something in my entire life.”
“Why now? Why haven’t you said anything?”, I asked, still unsure.
“I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to. We would flirt, but you always took it as a joke. I wasn’t joking. I loved you so much as a friend too, I was scared that if I told you, I would lose you. i also hate talking about my feelings and shit, i feel so stupid whenever I do.”
Part of me was still processing everything. Boy I had been in love with forever, loved me back. In the exact same way I loved him, he loved me. I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“fuck it, i love you too. I’ve been in love with you since we were like eight, and I never said anything because I thought I had no chance with you and I didn’t want to make things weird. The only thing I wanted was for you to stay my friend and for you to like me. When you started acting like you didn’t, I felt horrible and I felt like there was no hope for anything for us. I acted like I didn’t feel anything for you because all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. Even if it meant you being with someone else. I love you, Tom.”, I rambled.
He closed the distance between us. He placed his hands on each side of my jaw, his thumbs slowly caressing my cheeks. I could feel myself get goosebumps, staring up into his dark eyes.
“you were going to let me be with someone else so I could be happy? even if it meant you weren’t?”, he softly asked. I nodded.
“what did I ever do to deserve someone so sweet liek you?”, he murmured. His eyes glanced down at my lips. He took one of his thumbs and pulled it across my bottom lip, tugging down at it gently.
“God, you don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”
“How long?”
He laughed.
“Forever. I want to kiss you now more than ever.”
“Prove it.”
He chuckled at my boldness. Tom leaned in, our noses brushing against each other. I couldn’t stand the teasing anymore, I had waited too long. I dipped his face and pulled him down. Tom, smiling into the kiss at my neediness. It was so passionate, I could kiss his mmm forever. Our lips fit together like puzzle pieces. I pulled him in more, unsure if he was even able to get any closer than he already was. he tasted like Marlboro Reds and liquor. I loved it, I couldn’t get enough of him. One of his hands found its way down to my waist, while the other one tangled itself in my hair. He tugged ever so slightly, earning a soft groan from me. Tom smiled at this, getting the exact reaction he wanted. He pulled away, our foreheads resting against each other.
“fuck, you look so pretty. I wanted to tell you how good you looked earlier tonight but i was too scared.”, he mumbled. I smiled, the sweetness that I had missed was returning to Tom. I pulled him back into another kiss, the first one being incredibly addicting. Our tongues fought for dominance, of course he won.
The door to the roof swung open, startling both Tom and I. We attempted to pull away, but I before I could even see who it was, I heard Bill’s voice.
“I was looking for you guy- OH MY GOD.”, he said, a little shocked. his face quickly turned into a smile.
“What took you guys so long?”, he teased.
“Oh shut up.”, Tom laughed, his hand now around my waist.
“Well, I ordered us some more shots, so… c’mon. you guys can finish whatever this is later.”, he smiled, waking back into the building.
“let’s go inside.”, i said.
Tom kissed me again, this time with the full intent of being sweet and gentle.
“it feels weird to say out loud now, but I love you.”, he said into my ear. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I looked back up to him, seeing the very boy that i fell in love with all those years ago.
“I love you, too.”
~
a/n #2 ~ THIS WAS SO LONG IM SORRY. also sorry for this taking so long the first one I wrote DELETED😕 I’m on vacation right now but I hope you guys enjoyed this long ass story.
379 notes · View notes