#i have very specific wishes for them
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
birthday boy 🎂
#river dipping#theodore doe#matthias evanoff#a burning house to live in#echthroi#ts4#ts4 edit#simblr#ts4 screenshots#theo i hope you're having the most insane birthday sex rn i hope it's ******** and ***** and ***'** **** *** **** ***** :)<3#sorry i put off making your birthday edit for so long that i had to pivot and post this edit instead of the one i wanted </3#...very funny how similar this is to that LAST render i posted... well so WHAT!! if i think matthias looming is sexy!!#this is based on a photo that everyone was drawing their ocs as so really it's not MY fault he's back there clinging and being a freak#actually if y'all want this pose lmk... i'll share it but fyi it's only meant to be seen from the waist up and idk how it'd look#on a sim that doesn't have the same muscle mass and like. bulk. that matthias has......................................#just got rock hard after typing that... anyway.#HAPPY BIRTHDAY THEO <333333333 LOVE YOU SO MUCH I PROMISE I'M GONNA KEEP WORKING ON THE //ACTUAL// BIRTHDAY EDIT!! like .#posted abt this on the sideblog but the real edit i have planned for him is making me lose my fucking gourd#and it'll probably take me :))) a few more days to figure out#expect a depressing theo-as-a-teenager edit eventually tho. with writing!! accompanying it!!#matthias's face has changed again btw 😭 i redid it almost immediately after i posted that first render attempt so he looks DIFFERENT!!#i posted screenshots of him in cas just the other day on my other acc and he looks so good in them i might post them here too#oh and!! this edit looks massively different than my last because this screenshot was taken with a new preset i made specifically for#the real birthday edit i'm working on... it's a hallway scene so i figured out depth and density to get this really cool fog effect#i'm really excited for it!! in my head the way it looks makes me crazy but idk if i can pull it off properly. but like i WAS SAYING!!#new preset is sooo sexy after i post this i'll reblog with the before and after to show you how good it looks even w/o any editing#like. the colors....... literally have always wanted a preset like this i'm so glad i spent yesterday fucking around with it#ALSO!! i've been doing those oc/ship dynamic templates for fun recently so i might post a few of them here soon#realize i'm rambling so much in these tags bc i haven't been here in forever kfjnkfjhn ummmmm. let me stop.#EVERYONE WISH THEO HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIGHT NOW 🫵‼
227 notes
·
View notes
Text
talking about the topic of animated movies not Hitting, I accidentally reminded myself of one time on twitter, I think around the time that Raya came out?? I was poopooing on how much the dragon looks like elsa, and then talked about how I wish 2d animated and hand animated films were still The Medium instead of nothing but the highest resolution skin texture fur textured 3d animated films bc I'm tired of seeing it, etc etc and then someone who I was not mutuals with, they must've been someone working under the disney IP in some form, and must've either done some work on raya or just worked on 3d animated projects in general, replied to me SEVERAL TIMES as if I was subtweeting them, with something to the tone of "just say you hate me and you think my art is trash" and I think about that ALL the time
#I wish I could find what they said bc it was so much weirder than what I paraphrased. but this was years ago#like I had accidentally REALLY. bothered them and they thought the tweets were directed straight at them.#they were following me apparently (unfollowed me after that. obviously. bc they decided that I hated them specifically)#(bc I didn't like the dragon design from raya and I was fantasizing about it being 2d animated)#they deleted the tweets like 24 hours later but I was literally like. I'm sure you do good work???#i'm sorry you feel that way but rn i'm trying to complain about this very mainstream movie?? this is not a personal attack???#but now whenever I say something about a movie looking like dookie I imagine someone messaging me going “just say you hate me”#bc they did some concept art for it or something#shouts out to that person they were obviously doing really well emotionally to have come at me in that way lmao#sergle.txt#they obviously felt that we were in a Personal Argument but i wasn't wanting to argue and the interaction was not personal so it was very#one sided lol
153 notes
·
View notes
Text
! Eight !
#bumfuzzled art#naruto#team 8#kiba inuzuka#shino aburame#hinata hyuga#akamaru#because he’s there too <3#and now for my regularly scheduled rambling#it’s their kid designs because I was feeling nostalgic#also the designs I drew the most#I used to be very into Naruto when sh1ppuden was airing the last few seasons#I think they were my favorite team out of all of them#their dynamic is so good but we hardly see them interact.#specifically always liked shino because I like insects#kinda wished we got to see more of the guy#but alas being sidelined is kinda half of his thing#one of the unfortunate fandoms I joined where I got way too invested in the background characters#also on a drawing related note:#I kinda drew them from memory and then went back to fix the biggest mistakes.#so it’s 100% my bad that certain things look off.#I should have just drawn with ref from the beginning.#I showed these to my mom and she pointed at Hinata and giggled.#quite pleased with that reaction.#she is very cute.
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
hii this is my first post i've never used tumblr before !!!
#i will post about my beloved ocs on here#I WANTED TO DO THIS FOR SO LOOOONG and then i thought. tumblr would be the good place to do this#i don't really have a specific story with them i'm just rotating them in my head constantly#these three are zbyszek trinity and ester#they're in a metal/punk band called dycha za zbycha#zbyszek and trinity are not actually mine they're my girlfriend's ocs so technically they're my children in law#there'll be a bunch of characters that are my gf's as we share the oc universe together!!#we're playing with our characters sort of like with dolls#ester is the bassist#trinity is the guitarist#and zbyszek is the drummer#zbyszek also sings. he's the lead vocalist and i imagine his voice to be very deep sort of like peeter steele's#ester happens to sing too but rarely and i like to hedcanon her voice as raspy#they're just starting out and are not very popular yet but i wish them all the best#(tf u mean “i wish them all the best) mf you're their creator)#oc#my art#original character#digital art
95 notes
·
View notes
Note
Do you ever just think about how the headboard on Kevin's bed on the Nest doesn't budge. Of all the hints about what his life there was like that's the one that gets to me the most because it's so deliberate. Because even though he's probably physically stronger than Riko or at least evenly matched, Kevin wouldn't fight back. But he wasn't given the choice to anyway
honestly i think putting neil in kevin’s side of the room is such a telling choice during the castle evermore scenes. we spend so much of the first and second book hearing about how much kevin fears his so-called family, their haunting of the narrative as bloodthirsty hounds who can sniff out his fear, and when we actually get to finding out why that is we see it from someone who was immediately shoved into kevin’s old place. riko wasn’t just hurting neil because he wanted to (“i’m going to enjoy hurting you just as much as i enjoyed hurting kevin”), he was making sure neil knew he was inferior by putting him in direct contact with the roles kevin and jean played in the nest, using him as a substitute for the one that got away. neil gets a speedrun of some of the worst moments of kevin’s life, and he gets not a single breathing moment for it before he has to be shoved back into exy, like kevin was
i wouldn’t dare presume nora sakavic’s intentions on anything at this point, but i like the idea that neil’s stay at evermore was supposed to tell us all we needed to know about kevin’s time there, without kevin ever having to actually recount the years (he wouldn’t, even if he could): that it was horrifying, and that being in his shoes will never be as glamorous as neil previously thought. i like the breaking of neil’s expectations for kevin; i like how it makes neil realize the life kevin led was not better. and that’s the point, isn’t it? when neil is lying in kevin’s bed, handcuffed to kevin’s headboard, his legs pinned under kevin’s only friend, getting hurt by kevin’s brother, that’s what neil realizes: this is not better. it might be different than life on the run, but it is not better.
#<- wished so badly for a nest era book and got a happy go lucky sequel instead#but whatever its fine.#IT JUST it gets to me how much neil idealized kevin and kevins life#and how the book slowly strips back that jealousy so neil realizes kevin was never free#kevins experiences at evermore are the kind of thing you actually need to live through to fully understand#i sincerely believe that after the dust has settled neil would have an extremely hard time with his memories of evermore#and he would specifically have a hard time looking at kevin and not remembering being in his shoes#it is very intimate what neil went through as kevin’s substitute. it’s also very horrifying#what’s more intimate than experiencing someones horrors like youre them?#anyway i think much of this clearly. and how much riko wanted to have kevin again as well#but thats for another ask i believe#asks#neil#kevin#riko
246 notes
·
View notes
Text
the book trend that needs to be left in the dust for the new year is greek mythology retellings. i am so sick and tired of "retellings" of greek (or roman, but mainly greek) mythology from authors that clearly have a very surface level pop cultural understanding of the myth(s) they're adapting and the culture(s) they're depicting. especially the many that market themselves as "feminist retellings" where the "feminism" is basically just "men bad sometimes", and especially when they're "feminist retellings" that take some of the few mythological women who get happy endings and take it away from them for the sake of saying "men bad sometimes". it's all so shallow and they exploded this year and i'm sick of it.
#i wish so fucking much to read one (1) singular actually good feminist retelling of greek mythology#but they're always so shallow both in their messaging and their understanding of ancient greek culture and religion#i speak#anti booktok#sort of anyway?#greek mythology#bc i can't make a single post tangentially about myth without bitching about medusa:#so many people in publishing clearly got everything they learned about medusa from popular online depictions#and especially the books that are specifically about medusa blending greek and roman mythology despite them having very distinct elements
170 notes
·
View notes
Note
If you want to be bothered. Maybe this for dick and Bruce???
i ALWAYS want to be bothered these are always the highlight of my day tbh you're a delight for letting me just yap <3
Dick. For the canon isn't real square I am Specifically talking about the Tom Taylor Nightwing run. Usually I ignore bad runs but given this one is ongoing (though about to end THANK GOD and get replaced by Dan Watters who i have high hopes for since i adored his Sword of Azrael (2022) run but i digress) so I counted it. Especially since it's so debated if that run is bad or not, for some reason. I'm a 90s Nightwing truther. I love Dick so dearly and tbh recently I've been more enamored with him the more I read his Discowing era, I didn't used to be as big of a Dick stan as I am these days.
Bruce. Honestly where do you even start with Bruce. I want to fist fight him and also patch him up. He got me into comics and superheroes as a whole but I roll my eyes whenever he shows up in a story. He's a bastard and usually not a good father but also complex and should be dissected under a magnifying glass. I love him dearly. He's also just the worst. I think that's why I love him. I'm always a fan of unabashedly Complicated Asshole Bruce who's generally not always the best person, particularly not to the Batfamily and that being the driving force of his relationships with them, especially in shipping.
And for bonus points, Tim. Because know above all else, I'm a Tim Drake kinnie /deg. He's been my number one for a decade and I've yet to uproot him from my brain. He's literally the Worst half the time and I love him for it. And the canon isn't real refers to Tim Drake: Robin because... that sure was a comic. And that's about all I can say about it. Pre-Flashpoint Tim I miss you so dearly. I think it's fun that I want to put him in a blender and drink the juice but also want Nothing Ever to happen to him.
#necrotic answerings#batcest#bruce wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#fandom tag#anyway the fandom is i guess mean to all of them#but like it's deserving.#everytime i meet a tim anti i'm like you're SO right. he's the worst. pls hate his ass more.#same with bruce. like never met a bruce anti who didn't have endless receipts for hating his ass.#(except for those using the shallow 'he's a billionaire beating up the mentally ill' argument which. i ignore)#(bc why are you. consuming superhero content if you just don't like or understand the genre. it's lazy pseudointellectual nonsense.)#and i don't think ppl are truly mean to dick. i think they just don't understand him.#which extends to the entire batfamily bc well. the state of the fandom and all.#like “everyone else is wrong about them” isn't in a “no one gets them but me” way#(except about tim truly no one gets him but me /j)#it's in a “oh y'all just want to fit them into neat boxes don't you” way#one more person call dick grayson “eldest daughter core” and i'm going to your house and eating the stuffing out all of your pillows.#first of all can we stop calling male characters “female coded” in any way please#women exist in comics too.#second of all it's just not true? and it's not the complex he has with bruce nor his “siblings” if you wish to call them that#and then bruce. where do you even start.#you dare say you think it's in character for bruce to hit his kids and *SOCIETY. society goes wild.*#like ofc it has to be in specific contexts. he's not just swinging.#and sometimes it *is* written very OOC bc bruce is written as a machismo self insert i give you that#but yeah a soldier who views his children as soldiers and has zero healthy emotional regulation or communication skills#is gonna sometimes swing in his worst moments. it is just how the superhero genre works everyone is gonna fist fight to solve problems.#why are you reading comics about ppl who hit other ppl for a living if you don't like it when they hit ppl.#also random hot take about dick's characterization#the young justice tv show did incredible damage to ppl's perception of him and i dislike the take it's the best adaptation of him
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
god bless the homosexual underground
#disco elysium#harrier du bois#harry du bois#kim kitsuragi#huge loss for 40yo men yaoi enjoyers i dont care for them as a couple i see them as extremely close best friends#i wish i got the hype i just cant imagine kim having that low standards#kidding (kinda)#the would die for eachother in that very specific way that extremely close friends would you get me
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Attempted to throw together a bingo card for the first part of the finale? I'm not super great at these fjsbgksng
#cricket chirping#inanimate insanity#osc#object show community#ii#ii2 16#ii finale#Yeah some of these are just really wishful thinking#But a good chunk of them are based on Brian's QnA streams#For example the free space being a quote is a line he said would be in the finale that isn't too spoilery#Also the fantube thing specifically is based on him being asked if fantube will be canon and going#''Cmon. They made Bot together. Character's don't have to kiss on-screen to be a couple. They're each other's people yknow?''#<- HEAVY paraphrasing but those are the general points he made like 2 or 3 times#The lightbrush is just me being me. Pleease I need the t4t wlnb#Oh yeah the tv ratings and minor swearing is also from a stream. Someone asked if it would be rated pg#And he was like ''funny you should say pg specifically. There's a scene you'll like later that's something along those lines''#Again I am very much paraphrasing here but these are the points he made that can be checked on youtube
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Don't forget that you can always draw your ocs and favorite characters in fun outfits that you think they would wear. you can and should do this
#duck speaks#it's very fun to do and like. think about what types of clothes they'd like to wear#and the things they'd pick out at a store with all sorts of clothes to choose from#it can be a way to get to know the character better also I think#especially for ocs. it's like a way to develop their character#what sort of clothes do they typically wear ? what textures and colors do they like in clothes ?#are they comfortable showing skin with their outfits ? do they get cold or hot easily ? what type of climate do they live in ?#is there a type of outfit they wish they could wear but are too scared/don't have the means or money to ?#do they normally dress more casual or more formal ? what would a formal or casual outfit be for them ?#what do they wear in the summer ? what about in the winter ?#what are their pajamas like ?#do they dress in fashion from a specific era ? what era are they from also ?#do they dress more feminine or more masculine ? a mix of both ?#do they wear the same/similar outfits over and over ? is there something they always wear no matter what outfit they have on ?#do they care a lot about their appearance and how other people see them ? how does that effect their outfits ?#lots of things to think about#also you should draw them in outfits for mee#I love outfits and I love to see them#you don't have to make them up from the top of your head even. you can have an idea for what you want and look it up for reference#I do this a lot#I'll go in pinterest and search up like. 70s fashion or 2010s teen fashion or something#and look around to get a better idea of what I'm going for#pinterest is nice because you can click on a image you like and it'll have similar ones under that :]
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
saw a post on twitter where someone commented that they find chilchuck's daughters' names silly/that he's bad at naming them and its like... the man's name is CHILCHUCK. did you expect his daughters to be named alice, mary, and grace?
#no hate to them its just a very funny dissonance#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#(for the daughters)#chilchuck#i will say that im fascinated by naming conventions for half-foots#i wish we had like. three more named half-foots in the series so we got more data on the names#the rest of the peoples have pretty standard naming conventions in terms of first + last or single + place but the half-foots have#like first names second names then fathers name? and the first two names are treated as one name basically?#sort of like 'ann-marie' or other french names like that ig or like using both the first and middle name#and the woman specifically seem to have a 'feminine' name and a 'masculine' name each and thats really interesting
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Started writing a fic back in early October and had to abandon it for a while due to IRL situations. But I've started working on it again little by little, and I am so excited to eventually share it with my mutuals and followers. I hope you guys enjoy it (I am trying my best to get it done)!
TBH my only motivation anymore is thinking about my friends having a good time reading it when it's finally posted (I love all of you very much). I cannot wait for all of these ideas to be fleshed-out on paper at last.
Over 16,000 words and I am nowhere near satisfied yet. I feel like I can write WAY more. Stay tuned!
#for anyone wondering the fic is dusknoir/grovyle centric but I PROMISE that I did not forget their girl Celebi#she loves them as well and they love her#but the entire thing takes place during Dusknoir's reconciliation w/ Team Wish#the doodle above is from a scene that I wrote!!#Echo and Dusknoir have lots of conversations#they are working on mending their relationship with each other#also dusknoir is holding his hands folded and out in front of him so Echo can clearly see them at all times#he knows that she's got some trauma with grabbing/touching when its w/ him specifically and he's trying VERY hard to accommodate her#in reality Echo could give a shit about him doing that for her but it's the thought that counts (she secretly appreciates it)#bonus that Sora also gets some resolution with Dusknoir too because lemme tell ya my girl NEEDS it#(scribz / fuji / zerger ) thinking about you guys each day fuels my desire to finish this damn thing so pls know that i love you#pmd eots#pmd2#my art#my fic#echo/umbreon#sora/lucario#not sure how long until this is actually posted cause my life is a horrible mess atm but I am hoping not too long!!#time to disappear back into the void because job hunting is the literal worst
115 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hii! First off i just want to I'm such a big fan of your art and animatics! Your art is just so expressive and unique its addicting to look at 💞💞
I was wondering if you could go over how your process or tutorial in making an animatic? Whenever I try to start to make one, I get jumbled up and end up ditching it lol
I'm sorry if you get this question a lot 😭
So sorry it took me so long to answer this- I was in a Busy time (diseaseridden with covid and being punched by finals) when I got the ask and wanted to answer it with some stuff Im using for my next TOH animatic!!
I'll say one thing first: I get jumbled up and ditch so many animatics. For every one animatic I release, there are three to five more I have that have NEVER seen the light of day (yet). And that's okay!! It's fun just to make them for me, and I hope it is for you too!! Animatics are scary because if you're working on it alone, it can be really hard to be your own cheerleader to keep up the mojo to keep going. So that makes it really special when there is that project that makes it to the finish line- cuz you can look at it and go "holy crap I made this. holy crap i MADE that look how SICK that is dude!! all that work and look at the turnout!!"
The following stuffh is just my personal process and is by no means representative of a professional animation pipeline, but this works for me as a Lonely Artist! It all begins with the idea - whether it's a song, or just a story you wanna tell. In the case of the one I'm gonna demo here with , I wanted to animate Hunter's first day as Del's apprentice!
The first thing I did was write a script. Not fancy or AO3-quality, but enough that I understand the pacing and the visuals of each shot. I usually just put this in a doc or put it in a script format, if I feel fancy.
Then, I take that script and find music that I think would fit for it- and remix it (if needed) to fit the pacing/mood/etc! This is what this new animatic looked like before I began ANY artwork- this is a me thing because I'm super inspired by audio as opposed to visuals first. But you might be different- this is just how I like working personally!
Then begins the research! I find references for characters, background layouts, and create a style guide for the animatic that tells me how thick lines will be for characters, backgrounds, if there'll be tons of value or no. I make a turnaround for each character so I can refer to them because Im gonna be drawing them over and over a LOT and want to be consistent! Luckily TOH has no shortage of references, so I based my work off them.
THEN, I can begin drawing. I'm a little,,, (a lot) ADHD and may not always do this process, but if you're new to animatics or daunted by the task at hand, make beat boards of the entire project.
This is just a page of rough thumbnails that get your visual idea down - look how rough and quick these are!! I try not to spend over a minute on each beat board if I dont have to, unless it's a particularly complex shot.
When it gets to the stage where you're ready to begin the actual scenes, I personally tend to do backgrounds first because I like to set characters into backgrounds - and for every animatic, I have the Awkward Blue Sketch Stage which is basically my beat boards timed out as an animatic.
I used Storyboard Pro for this (Toonboom, not free ): icky), but the process can be replicated across most art platforms in whichever way you feel most comfy with! This is so I can time the drawings before I devote time cleaning them up-- which can make for some Pretty Funny looking little guys but theyre important!! trust!!
Once a big sequence of shots is cleaned up (I usually do 40-60 second chunks at a time), I export the .mov and send it to my editing program (which in this case is still Premiere Pro) - and then repeat this process again and again until.. it's done??
Here's like a TL;DR list of basically everything I said summed up:
• Make a loose script or bulletin of the idea! Do your research!
• Depending on what kind of animatic you're making, time it to music!
• Make a beat board of very loose gestures for your shots, and time them - then move on to refinement & cleanup!
• Combine all shots, refine music cues and timings, add any last needed VFX, and export!
There's no secret recipe or anything, it's just learning a pipeline that best suits you, whether it is for something professional or something you want to make for fun because you just love to make!!
#riley talks#long post#SORRY ITS LONG but i couldnt just put a bulletin list like “this is the ONLY method that works” bc thats not true!!!#everyone works diferently especially artists#and this is just my specific method of working#im very fortunate to have programs that make animatic-making a little easier#so i hope whoever wishes to make one in the future finds something that works well for them!! i have a blast making storyboards/animatics!!#text post#ask#tutorial#idk how to tag this lol
339 notes
·
View notes
Photo
TOS-Era Michael Burnham
#Michael Burnham's in-denial 'burned out high achiever' swag...#Michael Burnham#Michael Burnham art#whenever I picture Michael in my head she is troubled by something so tha t's how I tend to draw her...that + Vulcan upbringing#the Michael Burnham in my head is so powerful...flat affect and limited facial expression queen <3#she feels the entire spectrum of human emotions but doesn't fully understand them in herself or others <3#<- my headcanon...everything I ever say abouther is headcanon#the ONLY clip I've seen of her was when she showed up on the ship in her red robe (KILLER look)#and when that lady Georgie(?) said (paraphrased) 'we're a good ship - more or less'#Michael looked her DEAD in the eye and said 'less.' HEHEHE#I wish Discovery seemed to have more of Michael acting Vulcan-ish but it seems like she acts more human pretty much right away which isn't#what I personally want to see v_v not that it makes the show bad or anything - I just want to see very specific things HEHEH#also I literally cant with people who're like 'Why's her name Michael when she's a girl?' there are ALIENS. there's a guy named NOG. HEHEHE#bea art tag#st discovery#st discovery art
230 notes
·
View notes
Note
Is it true that there's no animosity between you and... you know, you know who. You never talk about her in any way. I guess I'm curious. You guys seemed like really close friends and then just weren't friends at all. And there was some stuff she said that seemed very targeted at you...
I don't know if she feels any animosity toward me or not any more. Our mutual friends have said she doesn't and I take them on their word in that regard, assuming that if they have an answer for me it's because they're aware how she feels. I wouldn't know and it's not my place to put words in her mouth.
I haven't spoken to her/about her in a long time and the only time she even crosses my mind is when people bring her up to me. As for me feeling any animosity? I'll admit my feelings on her these days are complicated and way too nuance-core for people who aren't my friends to hear about but I wouldn't call them animosity in any way. I inherently want people my friends care about to live well because I care about my friends, and anyone my friends care about by proxy and I still share friends with her. I would never wish ill on people my friends care about so animosity doesn't fit into that by definition. I'd say I'm hurt more than anything and even then I've worked through a lot of it with trusted friends who have helped me deal with my emotions in a healthy way.
(Besides, my own life struggles keep me from even being able to invest time into animosity. I have to expend that energy loving my family, doing my best to support them during our struggles. And I've never been a hateful person it isn't in me. I would rather play 'Hot To Go' by Chappell Roan and teach my dad how to do the hand gestures to help him strengthen his muscles again than focus on hating anyone...)
I try not to think about her because it hurts. I often think that people forget that I'm a real person outside of her sphere, and that I wouldn't want to talk about what happened because I truly did consider her a friend for a long time. And when someone I consider a friend appears to not regard me with care any more suddenly and I don't even have closure on that... well... it hurts... A lot. Of course I never talk about it.
And I'm not stupid, I have seen some stuff she's said that I've gathered was about me. I remind myself that she has a right to vent in her own spaces and I truly mean that... it's just a shame that her own spaces have people who then have taken these things to me to show me (after all, I wouldn't have even seen these things myself if not for third-party anons going 'this u?') saying it is my own fault because I was a terribly cruel friend or my own fault for not listening to warnings about her when I had the chance and that makes me a stupid gullible bitch. You lot haven't seen some of the awful shit about me from some of her more ravenous fans and haters I've seen over the years that I've had to let roll off my back in the fear it would bring backlash - not even to me, to her. I don't want to be the cause of any hatred going to anyone.
Also I'm just not going to ever talk about the details of our fallen friendship or our fallen relationship. That's private. She might be a public person to some extent but I never was, even if I do gain some measure of small fandom for my work one day I'm just private about personal matters especially raw ones. I almost deleted this ask entirely but Idk I never stated that it bothers me when people talk to me about her from my own mouth, so I guess that's what this ramble is.
If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed. I am not a part of her life not even through our mutual friends. I do not know or care what's going on with her public/personal life. I haven't kept up. I will never keep up. Don't treat me as an extension of the situation because I am not in the situation. In the most plainly stated sense of the word: Leave me the Hell alone. (...pretty please.)
All I've wanted this entire time was to be left alone to process everything in a healthy, peaceful way. I'm workin' on it.
#not art#I don't think I need a tag for asks of this nature since I'm never going to be speaking to any of this again#but it doesn't fit in with my normal asks so:#Mad as a Bag of Cats#There that's a specific tag to blacklist even though I'm not a personal drama ask answerer very often...#let's not even get into the slurs I received or the insulting things about my mother people have asked me about or the -#insulting and nasty insults about how I deserved to lose her as a friend or deserved to be hurt because I didn't listen#because if I vented how fucking shitty people who don't know me have treated me since the day I met her we'd be here all day#and let me be clear whatever else: Lily is not responsible for ANYONE being this way whether they defend or condemn her you all decided to#send those things and you know who you are - I've also seen people on both sides say to leave me alone#and genuinely for just that thank you this is genuinely some of the most distressing online experiences I've ever had#so please leave me alone.#about this subject I mean - if you wanna be nice and talk about my art or me I'm happy to engage#if you're nice to me this isn't for you#edit: even to the nice people who tried to send me well wishes now - If you send me anything about Lily Orchard it will not be addressed.#it just feeds the whole thing if I answer those too#you can send if you want to be nice I get that impulse but I won't be answering them
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
i shouldve been an art history major.........
#whayever whatever my school doesmt even have an art history bachelors i couldnt have anyway. but ough#literally u cannot listen to me when i talk abt wanting to have a different major not bc it isnt true but bc i have too many interests and#even if i had a different major id still be lusting after different fields of study and also just bc i might professionally only be able#to go into one doesnt mean i cant keep them as hobbies#that being said i wish my school had an art history bachelors program bc i wish there were more art hist classes bc art history#makes me feel fucking out of my mind /pos/pos and i wish i got to learn more abt shit we dont even have a modern art class#fucked upppp. at least our art hist profs got to do their very specific interest classes but i wanna study rothko!!!!#and that means i gotta do it on my own..... much less fun than having someone who's slightly unhinged abt art teach it to u#whatever. i can be unhinged abt it to myself. kicks a rock and turns away dejectedly.
11 notes
·
View notes