#i have very few points that point to james being the lamest as i say he is. most of these points have to do with lily though so when he’s | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin · 4 years ago

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When I saw 'Romanians' mentioned in your last post I had a wtf moment cause I have only watched the movies and I don't think I've ever noticed their existence. Regardless, I just had to read the wiki page and it is hillarious to me cause coincidence or not they seem to be named after the psychopathic ruler 'Vlad the impaler' and his cousin 'Stefan the great'(he might have murdered more people than his cousin known as the impaler, but you know he is great). Also, what do you think of them? Sorry for the rant...

You have no idea what you’ve unleashed.

I love the Romanians because they are, hands down, the trashiest, weirdest, lamest, loser vampires in Twilight canon.

Just, these two are so hilariously beautiful.

First off, while Meyer undoubtedly named them with Vlad Tepish and Stefan the Great in mind, the Romanians are actually much older. We don’t have exact dates, but we know the Romanians (then presumably the Dacians), held great power over their territory for a thousand years before the Volturi had truly established themselves. After the Volturi took on and won against Amun’s coven in Egypt (and took the grateful Demetri off Amun’s hands making Amun still bitter thousands of years later) they waged war against the Romanians and won. (Vlad and Stefan are still very bitter but give us the silver lining of “oh yeah, well, we’re only partly petrified. SO TAKE THAT STUPID VOLTURI!”)

Vlad, Stefan, and Vlad’s wife were the only survivors. The Romanians, being one of the most evil and trashy covens in Twilight, decided to take on Volterra by amassing an army of 100 vampires. Hilariously, they had poor timing, this is a decade after Aro acquired Jane and Alec. The entire army is defeated in a second, Vlad’s wife is murdered, and by 810 AD, it’s just Vlad and Stefan.

They’ve remained losers the Volturi don’t take seriously ever since. Every decade, Demetri pays them a visit to remind them that yes, the Volturi does remember them and can find them any time they want to. Even more hilariously, Vlad and Stefan take this very seriously, and are constantly on the run from the Volturi, never aware that the Volturi actually don’t care. At all.

Point being, given these guys, first it’s entirely likely their original names are not Vlad and Stefan. We see many of the vampires of the ancient world periodically change their name. We have Chelsea and Demetri, who are canonically acknowledged as having done this. Given when and where they were born, we can assume Marcus and Caius were not originally Marcus and Caius. Similarly, we can assume Aro’s name was originally far longer as well.

None the less, it would be just like these two to name themselves after these Romanian human warlords, one of whom serves and the inspiration for the modern vampire myth in Europe. And then, insist, of course, that the human rulers were actually named after Vlad and Stefan, because the humans still worship them, you know.

They’re going to be back on top any day now, you’ll see.

That’s another thing worth getting into. The Romanians are evil. I’m not exaggerating this, of all the vampires in Twilight, they are the most appalling (and this is including James, Maria and the southern war lords, Joham... well not Joham, he’s a special brand of evil). These guys had a thousand year reign of terror in Dacia. Humans were butchered seemingly by entire villages, they made humans their slaves and demanded worship and sacrifice. When the humans periodically tried to overthrow them, they slaughtered them all, presumably placed their heads on spikes, and used them to taunt those few surviving humans.

When they lost power, they made an army a hundred vampires strong, which given what we see of the newborns in Seattle (who were only around twenty and still far too large to control), probably wiped out several large settlements in eastern Europe. Didn’t matter, just as long as they got rid of the Volturi.

And they miss those glory days dearly.

They actively reminisce about in Breaking Dawn to an oblivious Bella, who is just so happy these very important and impressive Europeans are here to help her beautiful daughter and so impressed they they’ve been fighting the corrupt Volturi for thousands of years (which is another bit of hilarity we’ll get into). You know, when/if the Volturi fall, the Romanians will be the first in line to rape the women and enslave us all. Good times, good times.

But back to them being trash people.

Vlad and Stefan are utterly destitute, their entire coven is destroyed, and yet they still insist they’re a Big Fucking Deal. Not only that, but just their every action is beyond weird. They talk in unison like Fred and George Weasley, they’re these ridiculously tiny men dressed as stereotypical vampires, and they show up out of nowhere on your doorstep saying, “So, hear you’re starting an insurrection against Volterra, Carlisle, we want in” (While Carlisle, I’m sure, just dies a thousand times inside).

They then talk to Bella all about how they fight the corruption of the Volturi. What is the corruption, you ask? Well, the Volturi drove them out of their kingdom and liberated the human slaves. Then they imposed this stupid law where you couldn’t eat humans in broad daylight. Then when the Romanians tried to invade Italy they killed them all.

The Romanians will expose the Volturi’s crimes here and now. They stand for justice, peace, and Renezel--Renpunz--Renesmee. (The Romanians decidedly do not come for Renesmee, they hear about Carlisle’s army through the vampire European rumor mill, which just shows how out of hand it all got because now Carlisle’s amassing an army to protect the immortal child his son made. They show 0 interest in Renesmee.)

They give me serious McPoyle vibes.

More, beautifully, everything they touch becomes tainted.

Laurent, another beautiful loser character, starts life as a French courtier in Versailles. When he’s turned into a vampire, he assumes the vampire world works like Versailles. It works nothing like Versailles.

He seeks out those vampires with the greatest power.

Well, vampires in general are cannibalistic homeless nomads who care nothing for power.

This brings him, beautifully, to the Romanians. They insist to Laurent they’re super cool and powerful, Laurent believes them, but either Laurent eventually clues in or realizes something’s not right here. So, he goes to seek out the real power, the Volturi.

Unfortunately, Laurent is a loser, the Volturi is not court, and Aro has no need for some lackey trying to get in his good graces. Plus, Laurent hung out willingly with Vlad and Stefan. And anyone who does that...

So, Aro goes, “Ew, no, leave.”

Laurent is convinced, even when canon rolls around and he’s sunk so low as to hang out with James and Victoria (also loser vampires), that Aro will call him back any day now.

Aro never does. Laurent is eaten by untrained sixteen-year-old shape shifters.

But yes, point being, I imagine that in this modern era the Romanians would have a Go Fund Me for purchasing the blow torches they’ll use to destroy the Volturi once and for all. They also have a YouTube channel which is unintentionally dungeon porn, in which they cover their heads in bags so as not to be recognized, and talk about the good old days in thick Romanian accents. It’s a very popular YouTube channel, nobody understands why they wear so much body glitter.

Oh, right, Bella.

Bella is so beautiful with these guys. So, in Breaking Dawn, Bella actually takes the Romanians seriously. They’re all I describe above and more, they’re not hiding it, they’re full McPoyle (including the taking over the world built). Jake even tells Bella he finds them weird as hell. Bella thinks they’re great.

No, really, she thinks they’re great.

They tell her how they enslaved all the people in their territory, demanded tithes, and would eagerly do so again as soon as they get the chance and she stares at them with wide eyes and thinks about how cool all these vampires who came for precious Renesmee are. (Which, funnily, they actually all came either for Carlisle, because he has a billion friends everywhere, or else as a power grab like the Romanians, or both in Amun’s case. It’s the weirdest, most beautiful, mixture of people.)

Bella has her moments, but loving the Romanians has got to be a top ten for her. My explanation is that she’s so high on vampirism and Renesmee that this is all just great for her. LIFE IS WONDERFUL!

EDIT: I could no longer abide my spelling mistakes, I also edited a bit for cleanliness.

#ask #anon #twilight

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fangirling-throughlife · 5 years ago

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So close, and still so far

Word count: 2517 words.

A/N. This is the first non-academic thing I’ve written in a year or so, so it might not be the best. Inspired by the song So Close by Jon McLaughlin and one of my favourite movie scenes ever, the dancing scene in Enchanted with Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey, Idina Menzel and James Marsden. Comments are appreciated!!

“Peter Moore and Ella Lewis invite you to their engagement party, on Saturday 22nd August.”

It shouldn’t be a surprise, as Brian had told him about the engagement, but having the invitation in his hand made his heart stop. Peter and Ella had been a couple, The Couple of their group, ever since their high school senior year. Now that they both had graduated college, it was the logical next step. After all, Ella and Peter complemented each other. She was as organised as he was playful, she was as logical as he was spontaneous. They were the power couple, and they were so absolutely right for each other that it made no sense to avoid the unavoidable.

Still, Shawn’s mouth went dry, and for a moment he seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. His best friend in the world was getting married. The person who knew everything about him, his rock, his muse. The girl he’d written every single song about. The love songs, the heartbreak songs and the hopeful songs. His world revolved around Ella Lewis, and she would never know it did.

As if life were mocking him, he heard his phone ring with the sound of her favourite song, Everything I Do by Bryan Adams. Shawn had to swallow twice before he was sure he’d sound normal.

“Hey there!” he tried to sound as cheerful as possible.

“Hi, Shawnie! I was wondering if you’d got the invitation, because almost everybody replied and you didn’t.” she sounded excited. Of course she did. She had just graduated top of her class, and now she was organising a party to celebrate her engagement to the love of her life.

“Yeah, just got it. I was about to call Andrew to ask if there was any problem with me going.” He lied. He knew that, in the writing process, he was mostly the one who organised his own schedule, so he could free that day without any problem. But he wanted to seem busy, for some stupid reason.

“Uh… Alright, I guess?” He could picture her nibbling her lower lip. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, but couldn’t you try and get the day off? It’s pretty important for us, and all our friends are gonna be there, and…” She was pacing now, he could hear her footsteps down the stairs. He was being cruel, he knew that. But he couldn’t tell her that he’d leave everything just to make her happy. He didn’t have a partner, and music was all he had. She couldn’t know she came first.

“I’ll talk to him, I promise.” He heard her low hum, and the click of a pen. “So, anyways, congratulations! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me though.” A text would’ve been nice, he added mentally. Just so he could prepare himself for the gruesome conversation that they were having.

“Well, yeah. I’ve been busy with some paperwork, and my final project and stuff, so I’ve been a bit out of it. This is honestly the first day I’m fully invested in this, so call yourself lucky that you’ve been the very first person I thought of!” Against his own judgement, his heart sped up, but the little mean voice in his head reminded him that she thought of him while organising her engagement party. He knew he was being ridiculous letting his hopes up.

“Lucky me!” He forced a chuckle. “By the way, congratulations on your graduation. I have no clue what your final project was about but I heard the guys say it was ground-breaking.” He tried to steer away the conversation from the invitation on his table.

“Oh, thanks! It wasn’t that big of a deal, truth to be told. Sheldon Cooper would’ve totally mocked me.” He rolled his eyes. There was no real person to criticise her work, so she went to fictional characters. “By the way, are you bringing a plus one? Camila, perhaps? Haven’t seen her in ages.”

Hearing her mention Camila felt like he’d been punched in the stomach.

“Um, I’ll have to get back to you about that. I don’t think she’ll be able to make it, though.”

“Erm… Okay, I guess? I mean, it’s not a big party, or anything. But I wanted to have it…”

“Controlled.” Shawn interrupted her.

“Well, yeah it comes down to that.” She giggled. “Hey, I’ve got to go. Peter’s family is coming over to have lunch, I’ve got to go check on him in the kitchen. Love you!”

“Love you too!” If only she knew how true that was, he sighed as he heard that she’d hung up.

Ella was a very dedicated person. Whenever she had an interest, or a plan or a goal, she was invested a 100%. Her engagement party was no different. That was the reason why she didn’t reach out to Shawn in the month prior to the party. She spoke to Vanessa, her maid of honour, and to Brian, who would be Peter’s best man, but her interactions with Shawn went no further than a couple of texts to check up on each other every couple days. He seemed busy, he never said much. Honestly, she was busy as well, so she didn’t dwell on it. That went on until three days before the party, at 2 a.m.

She would be lying if she said he woke her up. Her body wasn’t used to her new-found freedom, so she couldn’t sleep until past 2 or 3 in the morning. She spent those late hours, when Peter was already asleep, reading scientific papers, reading books or playing the keyboard. After spending so many late nights working on papers and studying, she felt like her mind was the sharpest when the world was asleep. And, suddenly, after almost a month of silence, Shawn was calling her.

“Hey, what’s up?” She asks. Being friends with Shawn for years, she knew that this could very easily be a breakdown. She closed the door of her study room so she didn’t wake Peter.

“I love you, you know that?” It was very clear that he was drunk. Very drunk.

“Of course I do, Shawnie.” Ella could hear him open a bottle of something, then knocking something over, and taking a big gulp. “Is that why you’re calling me? I’m not mad or anything, I was reading. But… do you know what time it is?”

Her words seemed to get lost and never reach the other side of the line. “You know, Kid in Love is actually about you. And so is Never Be Alone. And Imagination.” She was startled. She knew he had a crush on someone in their friend group, but she never imagined it was her.

“So… It was me you had a crush on in junior year?”

“And so are Because I Had You, and If I Can’t Have You, and Mercy…” He lost track of his own train of thought, because he went silent.

“Are you really saying you’re in love with me, Shawn?” Those words were difficult to speak out. He couldn’t do that to her.

“Do you remember when I was just the Vine kid and we were sitting in my room looking for a song to cover? And we kinda jammed to Everything I Do? I tried to tell you then. And when I got drunk for the first time because of just one beer and I kissed you? You started dating Peter a week later and I brushed it off.” Every word Shawn said felt like a dagger directed to her heart. Tears were threatening to fall, and she let out a silent sob. “It has always been you. You're with somebody I can't be. But I can tell that you're happy.” He started singing. “I know you and Peter are a perfect match, don’t worry. But I needed to get this out of my system, you know?”

At that point, she couldn’t hide the fact that she was crying. And Shawn heard her ragged breathing, which seemed to sober him up.

“Oh, El. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, very deeply sorry.” He started crying as well. “I’m such an idiot. I’ve kept it to myself for so many years, and I tell you now. I understand if you don’t want to see me ever again, if you hate me now. Oh my god, El. I hate myself so much now.”

As much pain as he was causing her, he was still her Shawn, her younger brother from another mother (by six exact months, she reminded him continuously). She had had a crush on him for a few months, back when he was writing Handwritten. Now she knew that those songs she hoped he wrote for her were actually about her. Knowing it didn’t change anything though. She was wearing Peter’s ring, because she was in love with him, because they balanced each other out. While Ella considered Shawn to be her little brother, Peter was her best friend, her soulmate.

“It’s okay, Shawn. I’m just shocked… Why… why would you keep that from me?”

“I’m so stupid, I was nervous you’d make fun of me and hate me. It’s okay if you do now. I mean, not okay, obviously, but I’d understand.” Another sob escaped his mouth.

“Shawn, I don’t hate you. You’re… you’re like my little brother. I just wish you would’ve told me sooner. I could’ve helped you get over me.” She let out a sad chuckle. “We’ll see if some of my friends from uni is your perfect match at the party, okay?”

Shawn couldn’t believe his luck. He was so drunk he wouldn’t remember any of it in the morning, yet she wasn’t mad at him. Peter could never know what jewel of a person he was marrying. What Shawn didn’t notice was that he was thinking out loud.

“If his words are any pointer to go by, he knows.” This time, her laugh was genuine. “Shawnie, go to bed. Sleep this off. I’ll see you at the party, okay? I… I’ll see you.”

Ella couldn’t bring herself to tell him she loved him. She honestly did, but it felt wrong to say it, now that he’d said he was IN love with her.

She looked at the clock. Half past two. The crying had been very tiresome, so she’d give sleeping a go. She entered the room on her tiptoes, but somehow, Peter sensed her coming in.

“Love… what’s the matter? I’ve heard you crying.” He sounded worried.

She didn’t even give it a second thought. The conversation between Shawn and her would remain private. Peter didn’t need to know. Hell, she wasn’t even sure Shawn would remember in the morning.

“It’s nothing. I was watching kitten videos.” She mentally facepalmed. It was probably the lamest excuse she’d ever given. But Peter just shrugged, patted on the bed and snuggled into her neck as soon as she laid down. “I love you.” Ella whispered. Peter was already sleeping, because he answered with a hum, just one beat too late.

On the day of the party, everything was perfect. Ella had organised it, so nobody was surprised. Everything, from the pins in her hair till the wine that was served, had been handpicked and controlled. She was a quantum physicist, after all. She liked details and perfection. The guests started to arrive with gifts, and she greeted them all like a perfect hostess. Peter was chatting with his grandmother when she saw a familiar set of curls by the open door. The smile on his face as he approached her could mean two things: he had let go of the whole situation or, most probably, he had forgotten all about it.

“Hey, El. Nice party.” He greeted her with a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks, Shawn. Peter’s over there,” she pointed to him “and the rest of the group are somewhere inside. Probably close to the snacks.” She chuckled. “I’ll catch you guys later.” With that, she turned to greet her cousin and her nephew. “Hi! Thanks for coming.”

Even though Ella enjoyed being the perfect hostess, half an hour later her mouth was so dry she needed a glass of something. When she approached the table, Shawn was pouring himself a glass of white wine. “I’ll have one of those as well, Shawn.” She half asked-half demanded. He nodded, acknowledging her words, and gave her his new glass. It wasn’t until he was done pouring a second glass that he looked at her.

“Look, El. I’m sorry about anything I said last Wednesday. I don’t remember all of it, but I’m pretty sure it included me confessing you my…” Ella quickly cut him off.

“It’s alright. I’ve thought about it and, honestly, I feel sorrier for you, for not being able to help you, than for the situation.” Shawn nodded solemnly.

“So… water under the bridge?” Instead of answering, Ella simply hugged him, and she felt Shawn’s chest relaxing.

Ella closed her eyes, happy that they had finally made amends. Suddenly, she felt Shawn humming a song that sounded familiar. She focused on the music that played softly from the stereo. So Close by Jon McLaughlin. She hadn’t realised that it was still on the playlist. She loved the song, but it didn’t seem suitable for an engagement party.

So close to reaching that famous happy end. Almost believing this one's not pretend. Now you're beside me, and look how far we've come. So far, we are so close.

Just like in the movie, her favourite movie, he whispered the words in her ear. They weren’t dancing though, just merely swaying in place.

Ella felt sorry for Shawn. She didn’t understand how she could have missed the song when she was grooming the playlist to engagement party-appropriate songs. She hoped Shawn didn’t take it to heart. He was still her best friend, and she hoped that nothing would ever change that.

For Shawn, hearing that song, at that exact moment, was bittersweet. Somehow fitting. He was saying goodbye to the love of his life, who considered him a brother, who was marrying the love of her life. He was holding her close; he could pretend for a moment that he was hers. But he knew it was a lie, a hopeful thought. He would always love her; he would always be there for her.

As the final chord of the song died out and something else, much happier, started to sound, they started to become aware of their surroundings again. They let go of each other, and they smiled as they looked into each other’s eyes.

“I love you, Shawnie.” “I love you, El.”

They both walked towards their friends, sharing a secret that nobody knew. Ella’s eyes were gentle, and her laugh was genuine, and nothing had changed between them. And Shawn knew that was the first step to heal. His smile was bright, and he was having fun. Ella decided to let him be. She’d tell him they were moving some other day.

#shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes fluff #so close #enchanted #shawn mendes imagine

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liloelsagranger · 5 years ago

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One night in December ( # rocketshipping oneshot) - Merry Christmas to my #rocketshipping family

Hey my dear friends, this is my Christmas gift for you. Thanks for your support, love you! #rocketshipping ahead. To @ndbern-rocketmonsters @ndbernarts @jessicarocket @estrelarabyss @prepareforetrouble @masterstarpikachu @tothestarsabove @teamrocketfanart @thelovelyjessie @webelieveinlovepower @chaosandhope @james-team-rocket @danadiversity @krazy-holly @keksrocket @harmonyrocketeeveon @pok3ship @yesjanii @thecomputergirl @elysiiandream @fugly-chan @batfamfan1 @ghostkitty @pikamofo @eclipsing-dreams @abatwc @emily1037 @texansman20 @inuyashaeienni @zayphantomslayer @cat-0301 @james-kojiro-team-rocket @stjarnflicka @diehardrocketshipper @eclipsing-dreams and everyone else <3

One night in December

Completely lost in thought, I sat at the bar and watched the singing Meowth on stage. Just like every night. Ever since I got kicked out of the college for future nurses. The talented cat-Pokémon who would work for peanuts held up a mirror of grief, depression and despair to me. « I feel sorry for you, Jessie » he would say while he struck up the next blues song. I cheered him and took a generous sip of the beer in front of me. I tried to let the malty taste of beer melt on my tongue and recover from the strains of the last days. What more could I do with my life? I was a loser, a good-for-nothing, not even capable of learning simplest medical terms and techniques. Why did I even waste another thought on a life in uniform, surrounded by illness and suffering? Because I wanted to help. Because I wanted to prove to the world out there that I had what it takes to make something of myself! I’m not just a hopeless orphan! I’m strong, beautiful and deserve a chance ! I want to decide freely about my life, but fate treated me unkindly. Used by the state, screwed over by men, my life story. I took another big sip, trying to avoid the prying eyes of a young man sitting next to me. He looked quite passable with his lavender locks and the piercing emerald green eyes, but my past has taught me to be careful. He could be just another guy who gives me a hard time, even though he looked anything but dangerous. In fact, he looked as devastated as me. A shy smile flitted across his face.

« Hey, do you need that bottle cap ? » he asked, pointing at the metal seal on the bar counter. I cocked an eyebrow. That was by far the lamest pick-up line I’ve every heard. Nevertheless, he had earned my attention with this question. «Help yourself » I replied. His eyes flashed for a brief moment as he examined the bottle cap. « A really rare find, thank you » he grinned and stowed his precious treasure in his pocket. How pathetic! How miserable must a person be when he feels joy for a bottle cap ? This man became more and more interesting. Judging by his looks, women hat to lie at his feet. Yet here he sits, all alone, collecting garbage. «My name is James» he introduced himself. «Jessie» we shook hands. «Tell me, Jessie. What brings you to this dump so close to Christmas? Isn’t your family waiting for you? A loving family that appreciates you and cares for you ? Who gives you freedom to develop and takes your dreams seriously ? » I felt a deep sadness. What he told me only existed in fairy tales, a picture-book family is nothing more than a fraud. « Family’s overrated, James » I said, « besides, I really like that singing Meowth» we both laughed.

« Can I get you something to drink ? » James pulled out his wallet. A lot of green bills jumped out at me. ‘Great, a stuck-up aristocrat. A rich, spoiled mama’s boy. That’s all I needed’ I was about to get up and crawl into another corner of the bar, but he held me back. «Please, don’t go! It’s not what it looks like. I’m not a pompous schmuck! To be honest, I’m on the run from this, » he pointed at his money. « Who would voluntarily run away from so much money?» I sat back on my seat waiting for his answer. «Money isn’t everything, Jessie. Not if it means losing your dignity and your will to make free choices » he explained. Then suddenly I realized this man got into trouble and he was seriously trying to escape from it. «Money is all well and good, but if it determines your whole life, you learn to hate it». I couldn’t figure it out at the time.

For a few minutes we sat next to each other in silence while listening to the cat’s singing.£«Would you like to dance?» James reached for my hand an lead me to the dance floor. It was very busy in the bar, people were busting on the floor, so for better or worse we were forced to move closer. I inhaled his tart sent. Although we had known each other for a little over an hour, a certainty unknown to me emanated from him. He was the type of man you would share everything with and who you could trust. He was decent, he laid his hands very carefully on my hips, fearing that he might break me otherwise. «What do you do during the day, Jessie?» he asked. It was incredibly loud on the dance floor, I almost had to shout my answer. « I actually wanted to be a nurse. Unfortunately, that dream has been shattered» disappointed, I let my head down. James lifted my chin and smiled at me. «Don’t give up, Princess ! You’re going to be great, I’m sure of it » his words were so motivating, making the corners of my mouth twitch. It’s been a long time since anyone gave me hope. It was good to hear that encouragment from James. « As a girl, I always wanted to be famous, a real star » I whispered. James looked at me with the kindest eyes. « There she is!»

«What about you?» I wanted to know. He made me twirl around. I wrapped my arms around his neck. « No one has ever asked me that before. I want to be free and my biggest wish is to become a Pokéringer» I could see James was having a hard time answering that question. Could I dare? What did I have to lose? I had no family, no home, no job, no boyfriend. «Then let us explore freedom together! With your pocket money we can travel, discover the world, feast and fall in love», romantic nostalgia was flaring up inside of me. It was time for a fresh start, and with James, I would take it. It seemed to me that he was not completely averse to the idea, but then the slap in the face. «It’s not that simple, Jessie. My life is predetermined. I can’t make decisions of my own free will. Tomorrow I’m a prisoner again. I’ll be married by force, so my parents can maintain their image. Everything’s settled, everything’s in order. I’m so sorry » he sighed. How could I be so naive and dream of a happy life? Each time, I was denied it! «Then this is where we parted ways again, James. After all, you were honest with me from the beginning. Farewell!» I didn’t turn around anymore, grabbed my coat, pushed the door open and ran out onto the snowy streets. Thickly wrapped, I strolled through the deserted alleys, only hearing the snow trickling softly. «It always comes down to just me», I rebuked myself for being so naive that I really would have given James a chance. I couldn’t get him out of my mind. So courteous and polite, if a little pathetic and shy. Would it had been funny ? Would we have supported each other? Would he have accompanied me on the road to fame ? Would I have cheered him on when he played for victory high up in the skies ? Questions upon questions, the answers to which I would never know.

« Jessie ! » I could hear a faint voice in the distance, probably fate laughing at me. « Jessie ! » There it was again. It approached with heavy steps. I turned around facing James. He was completely out of breath, his cheeks turning red from the cold. «Jessie» he grabbed my hands. «Forget the money, forget the weight on my shoulders. Ever since I spotted you in that bar today, I can’t think about anything else. You’re so different from the women I know. You’re determined, beautiful and talented. I know you’ve got big plans and I want to be with you every step of the way. We can both buy ourselves free from the shackles of society. We can do our own thing, become an unbeatable team. Jessie», he pulled me closer, so close I could feel his breath on my face. « Let’s be free. Let’s dream again, » he proposed. At first I was speechless and completely taken by surprise. We did not know if it would go wrong, but it was worth a try. I nodded. James smiled as if the heaviest burden had fallen off him. He cupped my face and pressed his lips on mine. I had never experienced such an intense kiss. It wasn’t just a kiss, it was a promise. Only the night was our witness. Our lips parted and we looked at each other in silence for a long time. «Yous two can count me in» a familiar voice broke the silence. Meowth tugged at my sleeve. We bent down to him and held each other in our arms. Our little free family.

THE END

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britnxyspears · 3 years ago

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Major spoilers free review

So... I had to really think about it before making my full judgement on it. I liked it.... but I didnt like it? The main trio felt so off and dull and that's my biggest problem with it. The second problem was the killers are THE. LAMEST. killers in the franchise... completely unlikable to the point where I'm like if you liked these two characters I'm not trusting your judgement on anything phhh...the B**** cameos were actually pretty cool and not just fanservice which I loved. I loved that they brought back characters from the less popular ones, like Randy's sister, whose kids play a big part in the movie and are the only really likable characters in the whole younger cast. And Deputy Judy Hicks from Scream 4 south references for people who genuinely loved those movies which I thought was sweet, because Sequels are always the butt of jokes but there are always people who love them, even the unpopular ones.

The pacing.... sucked. I'll just say it plain. The pacing was really rushed and it really ate away at the overall story. Most of the characters are unlikable because they dont even get one whole joke in before getting murdered.

The humour is a 3/10. The jokes are good when they are there, but the soul of the series humor has been boiled to "I'm sooo meta" and that itself is hilarious because this one is the least meta in my opinion, so... the jokes are mostly about being meta and that's... almost the only meta... if that makes sense :P there's very few quips and hardass lines, there's only TWO from Sidney in the entire movie which says a lot because her action hero approach has always been the path to some extremely memorable lines. This movie feels like it takes itself too seriously and is on too many eggshells of not copying the original, but truth be told I wish they gave a little MORE love to the original.

Lastly, they tried to do a thing about fandom culture, and here's the thing... all the Scream movies understand fan culture to a T reflecting the times EXCEPT this one... but James A. Janisse and his wife Chelsea have an awesome cameo so at least ONE person got the assignment! XD the killer's motives are very ham fisted in this one, it's actually one of the first things you realize about them.

Apparently Scream 6 is greenlit which is sick! However it's not going to be the same since one of the main 3 died (AND I CRIED IN THE THEATER...) and honestly I hope that all the things I dont like about this movie are because it's just a springboard for another part of the story. However, compared to Halloween h20, or even Halloween 2018 it feels... incredibly lackluster as a standalone DX Super looking forward to the next one!!!!!

Scream 5 was NUTS LOL.....

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wigwurq · 7 years ago

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WIG REVIEW: STRANGER THINGS 2

Unless you have been living under a rock for the last week, you already know that STRANGER THINGS SEASON 2 DROPPED AND OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!1 It’s been a week and somehow the internet hasn’t imploded over this show so I guess it’s time to talk about the wigs. As with Twin Peaks, I’ll be reviewing each episode as I watch them and adjusting whether the season as a whole wurqs. Let’s get demogorg-going!

CHAPTER ONE : MADMAX

The Duffer Brothers live and breathe 80s nostalgia (obvs) so we open with a rando car chase in Pittsburgh because THE 80S (if the Duffer Bros really wanted to make this 80s accurate, it should have been Detroit or Chicago - THE DEMOGORGON IS IN THE DETAILS, isn’t it?) Anyway, some rando punk burglars are staging a getaway - with the help of some chick who is basically an older, more ethnic Elle. And she’s got a #008 tattooed on her arm. DUN DUN DUN.

Back in Hawkins, it’s a year after Will and Barb (RIP) got trapped in the Upside Down and everyone is doing JUST GREAT AND DON’T HAVE PTSD LET’S JUST LISTEN TO DEVO THANKYOUVERYMUCH. Oh and go to the arcade, where we meet our wiggiest non-wig in this dude eating cheetos and creepily demanding sister dates from Mike.

We also meet Winona Ryder’s new boyfriend, RUDY RUETTIGER (aka Sean Astin)! No wig, but dang HE LOVES MR. MOM AS MUCH AS ME. YES!

Speaking of Winona Ryder, girlfriend got a MUCH better wig than last season. I still don’t know why she needs to wear a wig at all, but I mean…sure? Clearly the wig budget is bigger than last season (if they can afford to license every song of the 80s to play during the episode, they can throw a few bucks at Joyce Byer’s mane, so amen).

Over at the high school, Nancy Wheeler got herself a haircut! She is clearly trying to channel some Jennifer Grey action but much like her body, this hair has no body (get this girl and this hair a sandwich).

Just sayin’…she should have had more of that KFC. Joe Keery’s epic hair remains flawless.

We are also introduced to the major wig of this episode (and likely, this season) in the form of a mulletted new bad boy, BILLY. I love that his name is Billy in a clear homage to Rob Lowe in St. Elmo’s Fire…but only time will tell if he can wail on a saxophone. This wig is…fine? It obviously looks like a wig so already that is a negative. Also I’m guessing everything about this guy is a negative.

Meanwhile, Nancy and Mike’s mom got herself a new ‘do! Welcome to the 80s, GIRLFRIEND! Bye bye Farrah waves, hello BANGS! Mama like. Damn fine wig. Still, why are you voting for Reagan (but of COURSE you are). BOO. #GeraldineFerraro4Ever

Meanwhile, Elle lives! But of course she does. And Millie Bobby Brown got herself a PERM just as the 80s intended.

And she’s living with Sheriff Hopper who took time out of his busy schedule of looking at “poisoned” pumpkins (which is clearly a job for Moana, duh) to take care of Elle. He got hisself a daughter and she got herself a dad! SOBBING.

CHAPTER TWO : TRICK OR TREAT, FREAK

It’s Halloweeeen and of course our favorite foursome dressed up as the Ghostbusters (and NO ONE WANTS TO BE WINSTON). Sadly, they go to the lamest school ever where no one else dresses up for Halloween. BOO indeed!

Will is still seeing some pretty effed up Upside Down visions but more scary: this poor kid had to have a bowl cut in the show and in life! This is the ultimate commitment to your art! Pure terror!

Rudy Reuttiger continues to be our favorite dad, fully committing to vampire hair and teeth and then slow dancing with Winona Ryder to “Islands in the Stream.” DREAMBOAT.

Meanwhile, Elle is getting cabin fever from watching Susan Lucci on TV all day and her hair is looking bigger and curlier than ever! Still, sorry you couldn’t go trick or treating, gurl.

Over at the most 80s teen Halloween party ever, new badboy Billy is suddenly a popular beer chugging sweaty bohunk (who listens to Ted Nugent - yep, this guy is the worst!) Also of course his new pal is dressed as the bad guy from The Karate Kid. 80s VILLAINS CONVERGE!

Meanwhile, Will’s older brother, a so-called purveyor of good musical taste, thinks this chick CLEARLY DRESSED AS SIOUXIE SIOUX is a member of KISS! BLASPHEME! YOU ARE DEAD TO US, JONATHAN!

Oh and Steve and Nancy OBVIOUSLY had a couple’s costume, and one of the most confusing ones EVER. It was confirmed to me later that they were Tom Cruise and Rebecca De Mornay from Risky Business (and not Johnny and June Carter Cash as I had suspected)…but if that is true this costume is AN EPIC FAILURE. Why isn’t Steve just wearing a white shirt and no pants? Why is Nancy’s hair all bouffanted out like June Carter Cash? WHY ISN’T SHE WEARING A BLONDE WIG?!?! WIG FAILURE x100000000. BOO ON YOUR HORRIBLE ATTEMPT AT A POP CULTURAL HALLOWEEN PARTY, DUFFER BROTHERS! THE DEMOGORGON IS IN THE DETAILS! BOO ON YOU!

CHAPTER THREE: THE POLLYWOG

Dustin found a new friend in a trashcan (where all the best friends come from!) and quickly decided that he has discovered a new species which DEFINITELY WON’T MESS ANYTHING UP. Kids, amiright?

Meanwhile, it should be mentioned that Dustin’s mom is played by Netflix MVP Catherine Curtain (our favorite former guard from OITNB). This lady loves cats as much as I do and knows her way around a good Midwest mom wig. Amen.

This episode also gives us some flashbacks to explain how Elle came to live with Hopper. And we get some flashback wigs! As with all men’s wigs, this one sucks. The texture is a nightmare and the back flips up with little assist from this shearling coat.

Elle is definitely getting cabin fever and busts out to see Mike, which she does in the very 5 minutes he happens to be talking to Max (isn’t it always the way?) then totally makes Max ruin her ollie in a jealous rage and hightails it out of there. We’ve all been there, gurl.

Speaking of Max, her awful brother Billy makes some mention of her not actually being his sister . Oh god. HES NOT HER DAD, RIGHT? UGH. Also he continues his reign as a new sweaty bohunk always as he plays mullet basketball with Steve (and of COURSE he’s ‘skins’ not shirts. UGH). Also if you’re gonna be an 80s villain, I guess you should be a pro-sports 80′s villain, right? The demogorgon is in the details (I have a quota to say this once during every episode recap).

Meanwhile, through the power of 80s home video consumerism, Winona Ryder and her slightly better season 2 wig realize that Will’s effed up Upside Down visions might be for reals (thanks, wax paper!) Oh, and thanks for the terrible advice to stand up to demogorgons, RUDY REUTIGGER.

CHAPTER FOUR: WILL THE WISE

Whilst trying to stand his ground against demogorgons, Will gets possessed by one (again, way to go, RUDY!) Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig got a wurqout trying to figure out what the eff is going on with suddenly coldblooded Will and his effed up vine illustrations.

Meanwhile, Nancy and her Jennifer Grey minus the body perm and Jonathan who apparently listens to the Clash (ugh) have staged a stakeout in the most effed up public park ever and it totally worked - bitches got hauled away to Hawkins Labs immediately! There, they totally got Paul Reiser on TAPE saying some shady shit. Side note: is this show just a big commercial for RadioShack?

Back at the high school, apparently the only class is SKINS VS SHIRTS and Billy is king! His horrible mullet wig got a shower which did nothing for it but did lead to some pretty fabulous homoerotic dialogue. Ooh la la. As always, the demogorgon’s in the details.

Billy’s dried off coif looks HORRIBLE IN BACKLIGHTING - major 80s hair fail. This wig blows. Also, NICE CANADIAN TUXEDO.

Oh and Billy is a complete racist who likes to control everything his sister (?) does. Continuing in the long tradition of 80s villains who are just evil for the sake of being evil, Billy joins their lexicon. What are his motivations? WHO KNOWS?! HE’S JUST LIVIN TO BE AN ASSHOLE. Similarly, I would totally approve of this dude playing the James Spader role in a remake of Pretty in Pink. ALSO I TAKE IT BACK: NEVER REMAKE PRETTY IN PINK, PLEASE.

In the end, Elle finds the secret file about her actual family and teleports to see her mama (SOBBING). And, as predicted, that pollywog Dustin found turns out to be a mini demogorgon who eats his cat. (DOUBLE SOBBING). I know y’all are still mourning Barb, but the death of Mews the cat might be the worst thing to ever happen on this show. RIP.

CHAPTER FIVE: DIG DUG

After Mew the cat’s tragic demise (known only to Dustin at this point), his mom continues her frenzied search for her beloved feline and her wig is as frazzled as she is. Still, Dustin’s mom is officially my favorite mom on this show not only because of her kitty love, but because she has a damn Mondale/Ferraro sign in her front lawn (and is apparently the only Hawkins resident not voting for Reagan). The demogorgon is as always in the details. #GeraldineFerraro4Ever

Speaking of demogorgons, note to self: don’t go investigating them in a creepy vine/tunnel by yourself because you’ll probably end up being trapped there alone.

Great work, Hooper.

Luckily Will’s art therapy home installation is about to get the cartographical analysis it needs from Rudy Reuttiger who is back in our good graces after his abysmally bad demogorgon advice.

Winona’s season 2 wig remains shook but hopeful.

There remains to be no hope for Billy’s mullet wig, which took a brief break from skins vs shirts to drive his sister (?) to the arcade where Lucas gave her the 411 on Hawkins’ demogorgon problem.

Speaking of truth quests, Nancy and her no-body perm is on one with the help of Jonathan and apparently their little road trip is so long that they had to spend the night in a hotel for the sole purpose of having this awkward “we’re not gonna do it” scene. Just drive through the night! You’re teenagers!

Speaking of road trips, Elle found her mama! Buuut her mama remains to be a catatonic shell of her former self as does her hair.

I guess if you’re catatonic, hair is the least of your problems, but this coif definitely needs some self-care.

We do get some flashback wig action, and apparently even after having her child stolen away during a Twilight Sleep delivery, Terry Ives was looking pretty fierce in the 70s!

Her sister, Becky, has a much bigger perm than last season and also a much bigger creepy factor. She doesn’t really question Elle’s sudden appearance or the faulty electrical work in her house, or Elle’s Poltergeist TV static communication skills. Maybe she’s just super trusting…or there is a Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? scenario afoot…

CHAPTER SIX : THE SPY

Good news: with the help of Rudy Reuttiger, Hopper got saved from the demogorgon tunnel! Bad news: Will is still possessed/his insides are burning/he has selective memory loss/he might be dying imminently. And Winona’s season 2 wig is PISSED ABOUT IT. She goes into full on Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment mode and demands Hawkins Labs fix her son. Hey, you break it, you buy it.

Meanwhile, Nancy and Jonathan’s super unsexy roadtrip suddenly gets sexy with the help of….a rando crazy wall journalist, and ton of underage vodka drinking, and a bunker with a french-doored guest room. Beyond the inappropriateness of serving copious amounts of booze to teenagers, this creep/amateur Francis Ford Coppola impersonator also fully pimps out his pad for late-night teenage sexcapades. And the following morning has the nerve to ask Jonathan “how was the pull-out?” THIS LINE IS OFFICIALLY THE WORST THING TO HAPPEN ON THE SHOW. YUCK.

Meanwhile, Dustin has gone code red with the disappearance of his now huge pet demogorgon and the only person at his disposal to help is: Steve?!?! Sure. This is bromance is actually the perfect antidote to any Nancy/Jonathan romance grossness. Not only should these guys be bffff, but Steve shares his hair secrets with Dustin and they include Farrah Fawcett hairspray. The demogorgon is always in the details and this one is pure happiness. Never change, you guys and #TeamSteve ALL THE WAY.

Lucas finally gets the code red message and hightails it over to Max’s house for help. Max’s house is basically an extended weight gym for Billy who is pumping iron while blasting Ratt with no adult supervision in sight. ALL 80S VILLIAN STEREOTYPES CONVERGE. Also Billy’s mullet wig is getting sweatier and curlier by the episode but not any better as a wig. However, this week we get a glimpse of one dangly earring which confirms his homage to Billy in St. Elmo’s Fire. We still need for him to wail on a saxophone and make jokes about Mare Winningham’s underwear for the homage to be complete, however. Oh also, Max’s big family secret is: her parents are divorced! DUN DUN DUN.

Anyway, back at the old junkyard, Dustin, Steve, Max and Lucas spread around a ton of raw meat and gasoline and wait and see what happens (WHAT A PLAN!) Steve, the most popular guy in high school until that sweaty bohunk Billy showed up, seems unfazed by hanging out with two nerdy middle school guys and a “random girl” but does get a little too cocky when he breaks out of the bus to confront the demogorgons hisself. Also I’m pretty sure the Duffer Bros are trying to turn Steve into Michael J. Fox this season because he’s definitely wearing the same Nike shoes he does in Back to the Future and also OF COURSE THEY ARE. Also between Steve’s nail bat and Negan’s barbed wire bat on The Walking Dead, baseball is officially dead to me.

CHAPTER SEVEN: THE LOST SISTER

Our girl Elle who is now going by her birth name, Jane, explains to her weird Aunt Becky what she saw in her Poltergeist shapeshift into her mama’s subconscious and while weird Aunt Becky finally decides to call someone about the rando tween that showed up at her house, Elle/Jane stole some dough and booked it out of there in search of her “sister”, another stolen girl who was experimented on at Hawkins Lab. Cue your least favorite Bon Jovi song and some POV shots of Chicago at night and suddenly we’re in every 80s teen movie ever shot in a city (the city was always Chicago).

Just beyond that building from Adventures in Babysitting and some trashcan fires (the demogorgon is always in the details) she is reunited with her “sister” Kali who you might remember from Chapter One of this season and her gang of misfit PUNKS!!!!!!!!

Basically these randos are every stereotypical punk who was featured in 5 seconds-50 minutes of any 80s teen movie. White chick with a pseudo Cyndi Lauper ‘do, oversized bow and faux prep school look: CHECK! Kinda angry black chick still rockin’ a power ‘fro and 70s military duds: CHECK! Super angry white dude with an x-treme dyed mohawk, face piercings, dog collar, and a switchblade: CHECK! Looks angry black dude in black bomber coat described as a “teddy bear”: CHECK! Ethnic chick with tons of black eyeliner, asymmetrical half-shaved hair wearing an oversized coat, combat boots and fingerless gloves: CHECKCHECKCHECK! This is a perfect assemblage of PUNKS that would fit in perfectly at the most 80s punk party EVER. The Duffers outdid themselves here. As for wig quality? I mean….it’s about as good as the hair in that punk party link so I’ll give it an amen.

But what is the deal with these PUNKS anyway? Turns out that they’re not just stealin’ stuff to buy hair products and living in a cool warehouse that could easily double for the digs on any season of Real World. Led by Kali, they track down and murder former employees of Hawkins Lab (and also steal stuff - hair products ARE VERY EXPENSIVE!) Kali helps Elle/Jane tap into her rage so that she can move stuff and whatever. Here, Elle/Jane totally moved a big train for no reason! Way to go?

Most importantly, these PUNKS give Elle/Jane a PUNK MAKEOVER! Thanks to a gallon of black eyeliner and hair gel, a pop-collared oversized coat, french-cuffed jeans and white kicks, she magically transforms into Dave Vanian (lead singer for The Damned duh!) While she could easily use her newfound LEWK to front a cool band, she instead leads the PUNKS to one of the former labworker’s houses.

There, the sisters in their cool duds debate whether to let this dude live or die (Elle/Jane says nope after discovering the dude has some kids). And honestly, maybe y’all should just…go start a band instead? In the end, the cops bust in on the PUNKS’ digs and Elle/Jane buses it back to Hawkins.

The internet super hated this episode for a number of reasons: it’s pointless, it feels like one of those episodes where a popular show tries to incubate a spin-off of new characters (never to be seen again!), Elle/Jane is helped by her cool ethnic sister only to leave her behind, thus fulfilling the “magical negro” trope, her sister also helps her tap into her anger to better fuel her skills only to abandon them when it counts so all in all…it’s pointless. These are all valid points and I get it but I still liked this episode because any opportunity to enjoy silly 80s PUNK stereotypes is an hour well lived.

EPISODE EIGHT: THE MIND FLAYER

Back in Hawkins, the lab is undergoing a teeny weeny bit of trouble ever since Will’s shadow monster tricked everyone into letting all the demogorgons loose and basically everyone is maybe about to die. Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig is NOT ABOUT TO LET THAT HAPPEN so just like FIGURE IT OUT, PAUL REISER.

Paul Reiser does NOT really figure it out but Rudy Reuttiger is ON IT because he knows basic (in the computer sense that is). Pretty soon Rudy is realizing that admitting you know basic is like admitting you can type - DON’T DO IT OR YOU WILL PROBABLY BE KILLED BY A DEMOGORGON.

Bob is absolutely killed by a demogorgon (after saving everyone!), thus fulfilling the internet’s need for Bob to be the new Barb. #RipBob #RipBarb

Meanwhile, everyone’s least favorite skins vs shirts player, Billy, is gettin’ hisself ready for a hot date (who is the lucky lady????) He sprays some random hairspray on this disgusting mullet (definitely NOT Farrah Fawcett hairspray), sprays some cologne down his pants and he’s READY! This dude’s wig looks worse every single time I see it but I do have to throw some respect this character’s way for having a TANK poster in his room (the demogorgon is always in the details). Also why does every room in this house have a fireplace?

No time for questions! Billy’s dad is home and he is every 80s villain dad combined - an abusive, violent, terribly mustachioed monster. And now we get it! Villains beget villains; violence is learned at home. It’s all a cycle. Demogorgons, please kill this dude first.

Back at home, Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig is an EFFING MESS and so is she. Shadow monster, get out of Will already!

The only solution seems to be making a hostage barn for Will’s Shadow Monster and we learn two important things: interrogation lighting makes Will’s bowl cut look shiny and lustrous and also Will knows morse code! CLOSE THE GATE, Y’ALL!

WHO ON EARTH CAN CLOSE THE GATE?!?!?!

Oh, right: Elle/Jane. Duh.

CHAPTER NINE: THE GATE

Elle/Jane’s sudden appearance RIGHT AT THE PERFECT MOMENT leads to a bunch of mushy reunion hugs, all of which are delivered while Elle/Jane still has a bloody nose. If you really loved her, GIVE HER A DAMN TISSUE! Anyway, after everyone has a lot of FEELINGS, a plan is made: Elle/Jane and Hooper will go to the lab to close the gate and Winona Ryder’s season 2 wig will take Will and Jonathan to Hooper’s cabin to break Will’s Shadow Monster virus with all of the heat necessary. Sounds legit!

Steve, our new favorite character and sudden nice guy apologizes to Nancy and her new curly up-do for abandoning her drunken ass at the Halloween party and tells her to go to Hooper’s cabin with Jonathan. If this means more time for Steve and Dustin’s bromance, so be it!

Meanwhile, Nancy’s mom is taking some time out of her busy schedule of allowing her kids to disappear for days on end while she daydrinks white wine to have some ME TIME in a bubble bath reading a romance novel. Calgon, take me away! This up-do is even better than Nancy’s and the best Nancy’s mom’s wig has ever looked. Sadly, someone has the audacity to ring her doorbell just as she’s truly weewaxing and her good-for-nothing husband is out-cold sleeping in the study! UGH. WHO ON EARTH COULD BE AT THE DOOR?!

OOH-LA-LA! Don’t you love it when you’re reading about an oily bohunk and then one just shows up? And uses the dumbest line ever and asks if you’re Nancy’s sister, not mom?

I think Nancy’s mom got her groove back! Does this mean she’ll finally abandon her Reagan supporting, constantly napping older husband? Only time will tell but girl, your wig looks GOOD.

Thanks for the cookie, Nancy’s mom. Billy’s mullet still looks TERRIBLE.

Billy’s mullet then hightails it over to the Byers residence where he and Steve have a skins vs shirts rematch battle thus ensuring that Winona Ryder’s house is completely trashed at least once every season of this show. Steve puts up an admirable fight but he’s no match for Billy’s violent assholery. Also way to go doing nothing: Mike, Lucas and Dustin! The only one able to stop Billy is his sister (?) Max who sedates him with some of Will’s conveniently accessible sedatives and then threatens him with Steve’s nail bat. Max is the new Negan! All hail! Also Billy’s character never amounted to ANYTHING and we never got to see him wail on a sax so: missed opportunities all around.

Over at Hopper’s cabin, Winona’s season 2 wig is getting all kinds of swampy in the sweat lodge they’ve created to exorcise the shadow monster out of Will. What a MESS.

Meanwhile, Steve comes to in Billy’s car which is being driven by Max (and yes, we see the Indiana Jones reference, Duffer Bros!) and despite probably having a concussion from being wailed on by Billy, goes into the demogorgon vine tunnel to burn out some demodogs. This is where Stranger Things achieves peak Goonies status.

Anyway, back at Hawkins Lab, Paul Reiser is totally still alive (yay?) and Elle/Jane is able to harness her anger just like her sister helped her to do and close the damn gate. Now will someone PLEASE GET HER A TISSUE?!

A month later, it’s Christmastime (because just like now, the 80s skips straight from Halloween to Christmas). Everyone is doing GREAT YOU GUYS. Dustin’s mom got a new cat (Mews 2.0) and he got hisself some Farrah Fawcett hairspray! Can this show actually bring back this product? I feel like it has the power to do so.

Anyway, the hairspray of hairgod Steve transforms Dustin into THIS! YES! I have no idea why Steve drives Dustin to the Snow Ball but logic went out the window years ago with this show. I guess they just still have a bromance, which does warm my heart and #TeamSteve always.

Anyway, inside the Snow Ball, Lucas successfully dances with Max, who is wearing a striped velour shirt and burnt sienna corduroy PANTS to a semi-formal - ok gurl you officially won me over. Also some rando girl asks Will to dance and even though she calls him zombie boy, it’s nice.

Sadly, no one wants to dance with Dustin and his duckie shoes (officially best 80s movie reference - the demogorgon is always in the details). Dustin 4Ever and all you Hawkins Middle School girls can fall into the upside down for not wanting to dance with him!

Luckily, Nancy is inexplicably chaperoning the dance and comes to Dustin’s rescue. Her up-do HAS NEVER LOOKED BETTER! Her no-body perm FINALLY GETS BODY! HALLELUJ! Also just look at the meeting of these two hairdos. Magic.

In the end, Jane (who is officially Jane now because Paul Reiser gave Hooper some official birth certificates about it - vegetable mom be damned!) shows up to dance with Mike because OF COURSE SHE DOES. Her hair is sort of a gelled down combo of curly and sleek and...ok? All these Snow Ball hair lewks are wigless anyway since no one wants Billy’s mullet to chaperone anything. And it is because of this awful mullet and Winona’s season 2 wig that I have to say.....

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

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mintypothos · 8 years ago

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Convince Me

@raythrill @hubris-but-no-writing @holdthesewords remember this post?

Here’s half of a fic because why not

It started off as a simple thought.

Burr frequently allowed himself to be dragged to their various gatherings. For a long time, Lafayette wondered why Burr bothered to come, or why Alexander kept inviting him. Hercules was with Lafayette in their confusion, but didn't care either way, personally. Laurens was actually on Alexander's side, and not just because he liked backing Alexander up.

“Hey, shut up!” Laurens hissed once, when Lafayette voiced their objections, forgetting Burr was still there- and what? He was as quiet as a mouse! “Don't be an asshole when you don't even know him, man. Aaron's actually a cool guy.”

With Laurens apparently glowing endorsement, Lafayette knew they had to investigate. They started by trying to draw Burr into a conversation.

“Ah, Aaron Burr! You look lonely!” The teasing was uninspired and almost automatic, so it wasn't entirely surprising when Burr looked in their direction with a raised brow, but failed to react to the taunt. “Tell me, are you a cat or dog person? We need a tiebreaker.” Technically, they did, since Laurens and Alexander were arguing dogs, and Hercules with Lafayette were arguing cats. In reality, Lafayette liked both about the same amount, but making the tie was a good excuse to pull Burr in.

Burr took a long moment to reply, as if something important depended on his answer. “I like both equally,” he said smoothly. Lafayette's nose practically wrinkled at the bland, nothing answer. Why couldn't Burr say what he really thought?

“Man, people weren't kidding when they said you had no opinions.” Hercules laughed.

Lafayette could have sworn a tiny frown flashed across Burr's face, but maybe they'd been looking too closely. “That really depends on what 'people' have been talking about me.”

“You are the worst, Burr.” Lafayette drawled at the plain answer. Something curious wiggled in them, though. Lafayette wondered what Burr's actual opinions were.

When Lafayette was curious about a person, they flirted. It was their thing. First, it was an easy way to out transphobes, but second, it was plain fun. Lafayette liked getting under people's skin and enjoyed the ego boost of causing someone to flush or stutter.

Which was why, when Lafayette decided to try flirting with Burr, they were surprised and a little bit bothered to find failure.

“Hey, Burr, how has your day been?” Lafayette winked and flashed a flirtatious smile. With most people, it would be the lamest trick in the book, but Lafayette was confident and charming and had a winning smile, they knew it worked coming from them.

Burr blinked and returned a customer-service smile, boring and fake. “It's been alright. Yours?” Lafayette rolled with it, because not everyone reacted the same, and really, Burr was probably also wondering why they just started talking to him.

But after a few weeks of light probing, there was still nothing. Fluttering their eyelashes in a certain way usually caught anyone's attention for at least a moment, but Burr's expression never wavered. Just polite, clean small talk all around.

It became something of a challenge. Lafayette didn't mind, challenges were fun.

“Laf, why are you going after Aaron?” Alexander accused one night, when it was just them alone. One couldn't expect five people to always have matching schedules, after all- especially when Laurens and Hercules were in school.

“I'm curious, are you not? He is always hanging around, but never sharing anything of himself.”

Alexander huffed, a surprised, amused sound. “So you just want to know what he stands for? I guess I can't complain, it used to really bother me when we first met.”

“Yes, it constantly confuses me why you continue to like Burr,” Lafayette shot Alexander a teasing look. “Unless you just enjoy having someone nearby who will never contradict your arguments? You do like winning unopposed.”

Instead of snapping back or even scowling, Alexander broke into laughter. “Are you kidding me? Aaron doesn't let me get away with shit. He's almost as good a debater as I am, even if he plays full defense far too often.”

“You're lying.” Lafayette blurted, surprised. At Alexander's raised brows, they were forced to consider the point. “This is Burr you're talking about? Mr. Aaron Never-shares-his-opinion Burr? Little Burr who would rather talk charming circles around a point than ever actually get to it?”

Alexander snorted. “You think he's charming?” He held up a hand before Lafayette could object, “And yes. That Burr. He actually has plenty of opinions, when you get to know him. John likes him too, and even Hercules is warming up to him.”

“Hercules warms up to everybody,” Lafayette pointed out. “Liking everyone is his thing. And Laurens likes Burr because you do.”

Alexander shook his head. “Dude. How about you actually just talk to him, instead of whatever you're trying to accomplish. Aaron's not awful, I promise.”

'Not awful' was far from high praise. But it did come from Alexander, the man frequently incapable of polite social interaction. Lafayette vowed to give it a try.

The problem was, 'actually just talking' to Burr posed a dilemma. On the one hand, it gave Lafayette more chances to put his flirt on and make a real effort, while simultaneously actually listening to Burr instead of looking for reactions.

On the other hand, Burr was an interesting person, under all the blandness. He was also completely immune to Lafayette's efforts.

“You should come over,” Lafayette encouraged, when Burr once again refused the Sunday dinner they hosted. “It's not even just Alexander, Herc, and Laurens. The Schuylers and Thomas and James come, also.” Lafayette knew Burr was friendly with those last two by now, not that he ever mentioned them. “It would mean a lot to me if you came,” Lafayette leaned into Burr's personal space. Nothing.

“Do you really want to know why I don't like going to dinners?” Burr shared a soft quirk of a smile, just a tad self deprecating. It was a sign Lafayette was beginning to recognize as Burr preparing to be honest. Maybe it wasn't nothing. Lafayette nodded quickly for him to continue.

Burr shifted, looking around like someone could be listening in. Alexander was occupied by Laurens, deep into some animated conversation, and Hercules was off on some clothing-related subject with Peggy. Peggy didn't usually have the time to hang out with the group, and was actually as into fashion design as Hercules, so Lafayette couldn't exactly blame him.

“I have misophonia.” Burr said in a hushed, but not quite whispering voice. It was not what Lafayette expected. At their blank look, Burr pushed forward. “It's okay if you haven't heard of it. Basically I get a strong reaction when I hear certain sounds, like eating noises. It makes dinners with people hell, unless I can distract myself well enough.”

“I know what misophonia is,” Lafayette answers, too surprised to even make a joke. “Alexander never said anything.” Alexander was terrible at keeping such things quiet.

Burr nodded, understanding the statement for what it was. “I never told him. Or anyone, really.”

This gave Lafayette pause. Burr was clearly in a deeper friendship with Alexander than he was with them. “Why are you telling me this?” It made no sense. Something small and warm brushed their heart, touched at being confided in. Lafayette wasn't usually the friend people vented to- that was Hercules if one wanted comfort, Alexander if one wanted someone to be angry with. Lafayette was the fun friend, the friend one went to when they wanted to forget things, not confide about them.

“Well, you said it would mean a lot to you,” Burr shrugged, but there was something warm in his eyes. Lafayette felt butterflies. “Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually want everyone to think I'm heartless.” A few weeks ago, Lafayette would have, and probably did, make jokes about just that. But here and now, they were drowning in the definitive proof that Burr was anything but heartless.

There was a beat, Burr's expression turning confused, before Lafayette realized they needed to respond. “You should come anyways,” Lafayette said impulsively, when they couldn't think of anything else to respond with. “I promise to be plenty distracting,” they hastily tacked on, with a confident smirk that belied the sudden fluttering in their chest.

Burr's eyes widened a bit, before his lips tipped into a genuinely amused smile and then, wonder of wonders, a tiny but real chuckle. “It doesn't work that way. You said you knew how it worked.” Burr wasn't even trying to be playful; Lafayette had seen his 'charm' before. This right here was all natural, and maybe that's why Lafayette felt like they were floating.

“It was worth a shot,” If Lafayette's laugh was a bit too quick or a bit too high, Burr didn't notice. “But really, everyone talks the whole way through, loudly too. If that's not enough, I could play some music.” Most of Lafayette's initial motivation in inviting Burr had been to pick his brain. They weren't sure when it became more about actually wanting to spend time with Burr.

This earned a happy little grin, the expression reaching Burr's eyes with a friendly glint. “You don't need to go out of your way for me. Your dinners sound like enough trouble as it is.”

“It's not trouble!” Lafayette almost rushed to respond. “How about, if you come, you're allowed to throw a shoe at anyone who tries chewing with their mouth open?”

Burr chuckled again. The sound was very nice. Lafayette wished to hear more of it. “Only if that privilege extends indefinitely. Alexander loves to talk while he eats, I literally can not be in the same room as him like that.” Burr leaned forward with that statement, actually entering Lafayette's space in an attempt to be conspiratorial.

“It's a deal.” Lafayette was gone.

Burr did show up at the dinner, and Lafayette did make sure music was on, even though everyone kept asking them why. When Alexander tried launching into a story with a mouth full of food, Lafayette called him out. Everyone gave them a bewildered look, except for Burr, who gifted them a soft smile. Already, that made it worthwhile.

Flirting still didn't work, even now that it was as much about actually getting closer to Burr as it was about the challenge of it all. Eventually, Lafayette had to call for backup.

“He's not straight, is he?” Lafayette whined to Laurens, busy studying for his med school classes. The sight reminded them of how nice it was to not be in school anymore.

Laurens only raised an eyebrow, flipping a few pages of his textbook. “He's bi. You can't tell?”

Lafayette loosed a long, breathy groan. “I don't know anymore, he hardly responds at all, and I know he's single. Straight people are the only single people I can't even pull a bit.” Even that wasn't exactly true, they were occasionally approached by straight women thanks to their slightly more masculine gender expression, but a mention of pronouns usually sent them packing.

Laurens made a long, considering hum. “And this actually bothers you? I thought you were just flirting to get under his skin. Also, you're succeeding more than you think you are.”

“At first, but I don't know, Burr's actually...” Lafayette stopped. “Wait, what do you mean, I'm succeeding?”

Laurens actually closed his textbook, smirking at Lafayette like he knew something. “Why do you want to know?”

Lafayette huffed, crossing their arms. “Don't try to be coy, Laurens. It doesn't suit you.”

“Fine. Aaron thinks you're cute.”

Laurens already had Lafayette's focus, but with that, they were riveted. “He does?” Then, realizing the sentence, “Hey, I'm not cute, I'm elegant.”

Laurens snorted, and then snickered, and then full out laughed. “Laf, you've got a crush!”

“Crush sounds so juvenile.” Lafayette sniffed. It wasn't worth denying. “How do you know, anyways?”

“He doesn't complain at your little nicknames. 'Our Burr', 'little Burr', and all that. He nearly kicked Alex in the face, the last time he tried to call him 'little'.”

Maybe crush was the right word, because it was also very juvenile how that statement made Lafayette's heart float. “Well, in that case,” Lafayette said, their words soft and airy like the feeling in their head. “I'm definitely getting at least one date.”

That caused another snort. “A little ambitious, there.”

“What?” Lafayette's forehead creased. “You just said-”

“I said he thinks your cute. He still doesn't know you're flirting with him. I'm pretty sure half of the time, Aaron's convinced you're trying to make fun of him.”

Lafayette's mood dropped. “I'll tell him, then.”

Laurens shrugged. “If you can. When's the last time you actually, genuinely asked someone out? You always just ramp the flirt up until they ask.”

Damn. Laurens was right. “It can't be that hard.” Lafayette wasn't a shy person, after all.

“Oh, you have much to learn.” Laurens gave Lafayette a condescending pat on the head, somewhat ruined by the fact that he had to stretch to reach.

“Okay, you know what,” Lafayette, frustrated and a little bit egged on by the obvious challenge, made a mistake. “I bet you 50$ I can get a date with Burr by the end of the week.”

It was an easy bet- It was early in the week, Lafayette was good at dating, good at charming despite the recent difficulties, and now they knew for sure Burr was interested. “You're on,” Laurens took it anyways.

The next day, Hercules and Alexander and even Peggy immediately added their stakes to the bet. Peggy was on their side, bless her, and everyone else against.

The stakes only made Lafayette more determined, but they should have realized it was a terrible idea.

Aaron Burr was in a conundrum. He often was, but this one was considerably worse than the usual fare.

Lafayette happily existed in an entirely different world from Aaron, despite them often being in the same social space. It was clear that Lafayette was both mystified and vaguely disapproving of Aaron's presence, they never tried to hide it. Aaron was fine with that. Despite what everyone said, Aaron knew he couldn't please everyone, and was perfectly content to stay distantly polite as long as Lafayette wasn't actively mean about it- which they never were.

But then, Lafayette started talking to Aaron. First, with a few words, a half assed invitation to debate. Then it became more, and more, until Lafayette started seeking Aaron out first, before their friends.

It shouldn't have been a problem at all, never mind a conundrum. Except for the fact that Lafayette was very beautiful, and actually very interesting to talk to. Once one got past their constant teasing and dramatic flair, they were every facet of Aaron's stereotypical romantic fantasy. Tall, dashing, with great hair and sparkling, smiling eyes. Whip-smart, but not academics obsessed. Outgoing enough to pull Aaron into conversations a bit outside his usual comfort zone, but attentive enough to back off when Aaron needed. They were also funny, very positive, and wasn't put off even by Aaron's driest remarks.

“But there's no way they'd be interested,” Aaron sighed over the face-to-face messenger. Maria laughed from the other end. “Can you stop enjoying my pain?”

“Not until you stop being terrible at everything.” Aaron rolled his eyes fondly at the comment. Aaron's frequent social mishaps were a common thread between them. “Why do you think they aren't interested? You said they talk to you a lot?”

Aaron considered the question. “They're one of those popular, confident types. I'm pretty sure Lafayette has never once been hesitant about the people they're into. I figure if they were interested, they'd have done something by now.”

Maria hummed. “And what if they have done something, but you're too dense to figure it out?”

“Don't be ridiculous, I'm not an idiot.”

The resulting laugh came out somewhat static-y from Maria's low quality mic, but the light derision was still obvious. “Do you not remember when we were kids and I thought I was straight?”

The memory was very old, but still somehow very clear. “Shut up!” Aaron huffed. “You promised never to talk about that.” Given that it was Maria who had been trying to express her mistaken crush, and gotten considerably more desperate, she should have been the embarrassed one, not Aaron. Unfortunately, Maria was one of those few people completely capable of reviewing past embarrassing memories with no shame. “Also, I was a lot younger then, so that's not even applicable.”

“Aaron, honey, you haven't changed that much.”

“Oh, shut up.” Aaron shot back again. “You're no help.”

That was a lie, Maria was always a lot of help, even if it never seemed that way at the time. Judging by her smug smile, Maria knew this as well. “Look, I'll put it simply, for you. Would you want to smooch them?”

“What?”

“Answer the question!”

“Okay, maybe. Yes.” Aaron averted his eyes. “You're being childish.”

“Shut up,” Maria returned Aaron's words. “ I'm not even going to tell you to ask them out, since I know you'll never work up the guts,” Aaron didn't respond- she was right on that. “How about this, if they ask you out, would you say yes?”

“What is this, highschool?” Aaron sniped, and then relented under Maria's glare. “I don't think it will happen, and if it did happen it would probably be as a joke, but if they seriously asked, then yes.”

“Well then, there you go. You've decided what you're going to do, crisis averted.”

The crisis didn't feel averted at all, but Aaron let it go. There were other, less confusing subjects to talk about.

The talk with Maria did actually help. Aaron was able to relax a bit, enjoying his conversations with Lafayette, and occasionally even instigating himself. Even when he did occasionally say something awkward, something that slipped through his usually perfect mental filter, it felt okay. He was getting comfortable around Lafayette.

Until, Lafayette started acting weird. More weird than usual. They greeted Aaron, but jumped when he responded. They started talking about unusual topics, like favourite restaurants, fun places nearby, or activities they both enjoyed. And while Lafayette would share their own thoughts, they kept pressing back to Aaron's opinions, and what he liked. It sounded almost like they were scoping out date ideas, but there was no way. If that was what Lafayette wanted to do, surely they would have a more graceful way to do it.

“Are you okay?” Aaron finally snapped, when Lafayette refused to meet Aaron's eyes after asking him some strange question about food preference.

Lafayette was visibly taken aback. “What do you mean?”

Aaron bit back a dry response that wouldn't help the situation. “You're acting strange, this past week.”

Lafayette opened their mouth, denial on their lips clear as day, but then froze, and wilted. “So even you've noticed now. I'm a mess.”

It was Aaron's turn to be taken aback. “You've never been anything less than fully put together from the day I met you,” Aaron admitted. “But if you're going to tell me what's up, I'm not complaining.”

“You think I'm put together?” Their recovery was quick enough to cause whiplash. “Why Burr, I had no idea you thought so highly of me.” Their smirk was wide and mischievous. And Aaron knew it was full of shit.

“Let me rephrase. If you don't tell me what's up, I am complaining.” Aaron put his hands on his hips. Lafayette pouted. Burr held steady, even if the sight was cuter than it had any right to be, coming from a grown person who was a full head taller than him

They stared at each other, until Lafayette crumbled, glancing away. Aaron allowed a tiny smile of victory. He could blankly out-stare anyone. Lafayette shifted their weight, clearly weighing their options.

“I have a question, but I don't think you want to hear it.” Lafayette finally admitted.

Aaron raised a brow. It was a strange thing to occupy someone, especially Lafayette. “Let me be the judge of that, then.”

“Okay,” Lafayette took a breath, crossing their arms over their chest defensively. “Do you want to go out sometime? Like to a dinner with ambiance, or a movie, or something?”

“What?” Aaron was baffled. “Who's all coming, and why would that bother me?”

Lafayette let out a long, frustrated sigh, scrunching their hair with one hand. “No one would be coming. I'm asking you out, Burr.”

“Oh.” Oh. Aaron considered the idea that Maria was right, about everything, all the time. “Like for real?”

“What do you mean, for real?” Lafayette's brows furrowed.

“Like, if you're joking right now, I will kick you in the shins.” Aaron said blankly, still in shock from the revelation.

It took Lafayette a moment, but then they almost jumped forward. “No, oh my god, it's not a joke! I wouldn't do that!” Lafayette looked honest, and for a moment Aaron's heart skipped.

“Are... you sure?” Aaron finally asked, when it was clear he should be responding.

Lafayette huffed, sharp and loud and almost a laugh but not quite. “Stop torturing me Burr, please. I would like to take you out. Yes or no?”

“Um,” Aaron stalled, trying to process past his surprise. “Okay.”

It wasn't particularly smooth, for either of them. But it didn't need to be.

The actual date wasn't anything fancy, but Aaron was glad for it. Lafayette greeted him at the coffee shop with a chaste peck on each cheek, that they dramatically stooped down for. “It's custom in France, you know,” they said in way of explanation, eyes dancing in laughter.

“Um,” Aaron said, overwhelmed. Lafayette chuckled and laced a hand in his, gently towing him to the counter.

Aaron and Lafayette chatted, drank the whip cream from their fancy coffees, went for a scenic walk, and chatted some more. Aaron found himself smiling more than he had in a long time, since moving across the city for work. Lafayette even laughed in turn at Aaron's sarcastic comments. Real laughter too, not the light forced chuckles of a person trying to impress, something which Aaron had plenty of experience with. Most people tended to misunderstand Aaron's tone. It was nice.

Aaron kept Lafayette's warm grip in one hand, the half finished coffee in the other. The coffee of course was a lost cause when Aaron lurched over an uneven patch of sidewalk. The coffee went arcing through the air, Aaron not far behind- until Lafayette's hold wrenched him back, their other arm reaching up quickly to settle him.

“Are you alright, little Burr?” Aaron almost flushed between his clumsiness and the pet name. Then, he noticed his nice burgundy jacket was soaked in coffee, and Aaron did flush.

“I'm the worst,” Aaron groaned, vainly trying to wipe off what he could.

Lafayette giggled, light and pure and unguarded, opposite from the mocking notes Aaron half expected. “You are the worst, Burr,” They teased, easing their own jacket off and offering it to Aaron with a flourish. “But only because you tempt me into making the cheesiest of gestures.”

The jacket was going to be stupidly huge on him. And it was, in fact, an incredibly cheesy gesture, but the chill of wind against wet clothing was already starting to make him shiver. “You don't need my help for that, you're cheesy all on your own,” Aaron joked to distract from the red likely staining his cheeks. He shrugged Lafayette's very warm, very large jacket on, folding his own over one arm. As expected, the jacket nearly reached Aaron's knees.

Lafayette plucked Aaron's free hand again, leaning down towards him with a silly grin and crinkled eyes. “You look adorable. May I kiss you?”

“Only if you never call me adorable again,” Despite the words, Aaron leaned closer, caught up in the moment, cozy warm from both the coat and his own fast-beating heart.

“I make no such promise.” Lafayette leaned closer still. This close to their face, Aaron could see that he wasn't the only one affected. Aaron wondered how Lafayette ever managed to look smooth- they were actually a dork. A very charming dork.

Aaron took a rare moment of initiative, and leaned up. With Lafayette already in his space, he didn't need to reach very far to meet their lips. It was light, it was sweet, and it was short. But Aaron saw stars anyways.

The date came to a close, after that. Even if they pretended otherwise, Lafayette quickly became cold, New York winters being nothing to joke about. Still, they insisted Aaron wear their jacket for the trip home.

“You're being ridiculous,” Aaron complained.

“Ah, but am I?” Lafayette swung their joined hands. “If you have my jacket, then you must meet me to return it again. It is the perfect opening to request another date.” Lafayette stopped then, dropping his tone into something uncharacteristically nervous. “If you'd like?”

“What?” Aaron realized he spent far too much time being either confused or surprised. “You want another date? I just proved I'm a walking disaster.”

Lafayette gripped Aaron's hand tighter. “You're perfect!” They blurted, then considered their words. “I mean, if you really are a walking disaster, at least I get to rescue you.” Sheepishly, they scratched their neck.

Aaron's head spun. Obviously, he wasn't perfect. But to hear it come out so impulsively in his defense felt... nice. But Aaron knew he didn't want to make that decision, as high on giddy, puppy-love feelings as he was now.

“I'll get back to you?” To Lafayette's credit, they only drooped a bit at Aaron's uncertain words.

“Well, you do have to return my jacket.” Lafayette repeated. “Which you still look adorable in.”

“Don't call me adorable,” Aaron grinned through his own admonishment. It was a good night.

Aaron woke up happy. He bought himself fast-food breakfast and got to work on time, instead of his usual earliness. Everyone started giving him strange looks. Aaron wasn't surprised- he was on cloud nine, and though he wasn't the most expressive of people, it probably showed.

“Are you constipated?” Thomas rudely snapped when Aaron went to ask him for a document. Aaron hummed, ignoring him.

After work, he dropped by Laurens' place to help him colour code and organize his study notes, as previously promised- Aaron was a long time study expert, even if he had no clue about the subjects Laurens was taking.

“You seem happy.” Laurens commented, always blunt.

“Yeah,” Aaron sighed, pulling out the pink high-lighter. Laurens rolled his eyes with an exasperated puff, but let it be.

After a quick trip home and a nervous meal, Aaron knew it was time to return the jacket. Feeling silly, Aaron put it on once more. The cut was flattering on Lafayette, but made Aaron look almost childlike. It smelled like vanilla spice. Aaron laughed at his own absurdity and bundled the fabric up in a bag, shrugging his own, freshly cleaned jacket on.

Aaron considered texting first, but it was Monday evening, which meant Lafayette would be at Alexander's, likely also with Laurens and Hercules unless either of them had assignments due. It would be easier just to head over.

Aaron tried not to think about the likely teasing he would get, returning the jacket in front of their mutual friends. Alexander certainly wouldn't let it go without at least one lewd comment. The others would probably snicker or cajole and act like children in general.

The door was unlocked, and Aaron didn't bother knocking. That was his first mistake. The second mistake was being quiet enough in doing so that the loud conversation inside was not interrupted as he approached the kitchen.

“No one made you wager money, Alexander,” Lafayette's voice was smug and teasing. “Or any of you. I want to see those bills.”

“Oh come on, I don't just have 50$ in cash lying around!” Alexander complained. Aaron wondered what stupid bet Alexander lost this time. They all seemed to like the occasional wager, but Aaron always turned them down because betting was stupid. It wasn't surprising or even disappointing that no one invited him to get in on whatever it was.

Of course, Aaron's benign mood towards the bet went out the window when the subject revealed itself. “How was I supposed to know you'd actually convince Aaron to go on a date with you? You, of all people!”

“Yes, me of all peop-” Lafayette's voice cut off when Aaron dropped his bundle with a soft but audible thump against the ground. Everyone's face whipped immediately to the source of the noise. “Aaron..” Lafayette's voice was surprised, uncertain. They were holding an incriminating fistful of bills.

Aaron felt numb, and slightly dizzy. The high he was riding through the entire day crashed, compressing into a strange hollowness in his chest. “Enjoy your winnings,” He said, not sure if it was a whisper, a shout, or even his normal tone.

“Aaron, wait!” Lafayette scrambled to their feet, long limbs working against them. Aaron was already at the apartment door, nearly slamming it behind him. He took to the stairs at a firm speed-walk. Halfway down, the stairwell door banged open again, multiple voices now shouting for Aaron to stop, to wait, to listen. He walked faster, clearing the building and crossing the street before any of them could see where he was going.

Aaron wasn't interested in explanations. The truth stood out for itself well enough.

#fic #burrlaf #please suffer with me #if at least one person who reads this goes from #oh hey burrlaf sounds kinda cute #to yep i ship that shit now #i will have succeeded #nonbinary lafayette

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marauderingbad-blog · 8 years ago

Text

One Was Gold

A Chronology of Lily and Severus’ Friendship: Year Three

Part 3/7

Read the Full Story on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11690688/chapters/26319129

The Hogwarts express slowed and eventually came to a groaning halt as it reached Platform 9 ¾ . Lily kneeled on the seat in her compartment with her face pressed against the glass, looking for her parents and sister. Finally, she caught sight of her father’s graying, faded auburn hair and two familiar blondes--it was never hard to spot them, really, in their Muggle clothes. Lily beamed and waved at them enthusiastically--Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas were also squeezed in at the window, waving to their respective families. Lily’s parents caught sight of her gave and waved back enthusiastically; Petunia was clearly sulking with her arms crossed, regarding the wizarding families with open disdain. Lily tried to trick herself into not noticing.

“Well!” Lily said, bouncing back into her seat. “Our third year, all done. Make sure to write, yeah?” she said to the girls.

“We’ll have to go to another Quidditch match together!” said Marlene.

“And I want to see another Muggle movie,” Dorcas chimed in.

“Just one? I want to see like, twelve!” Mary added.

Lily laughed. “We’ll have to make a list! But yes, let’s do all of those things, I want to see you lot as often as possible,” Lily smiled. She gave each a tight, long hug in turn before they went off their separate ways to find their families.

Heaving her trunk off the train, Lily ran over to her family; her father caught her in his arms, lifting her off the ground. “My Lily,” he said, kissing her cheek. “How we’ve missed you,” he told her, then set her down.

“Darling,” greeted Lily’s mother, hugging her tightly and kissing the top of her head.

“Mum,” she said fondly. Lily peeked at Petunia over their mother’s shoulder; Petunia’s arms were still crossed and lips pursed.

“Tuney,” said Lily, as brightly as she could manage in the face of her sister’s determined aloofness. “I missed you,” she said truthfully--if, perhaps, foolishly--and hugged her sister, who returned it in the weakest, lamest way possible.

As Petunia quickly let go, Lily spotted Potter, who looked to be with his grandparents. The older woman was hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek. Potter made eye contact with Lily over her shoulder, and suddenly blushed profusely.

“Mum,” he groaned. “You're embarrassing me, there are people everywhere. People I know.”

Lily was mildly surprised to overhear that these were his parents--then she smirked as his mother pinched his cheeks. “Oh, you think I care that I’m embarrassing you?” Lily heard her ask. “You’re cute,” she retorted, then tried to smooth his hair down, much to Lily’s amusement. “Honestly, James, have you forgotten what a brush is? Why don’t you ever use your father’s potion? He invented it for your stubborn type of hair, you know.”

“Mum,” James practically growled, eyes still darting over to Lily, who was full out laughing at this point.

“Ah, the boys nowadays want to look like this, Effie,” explained Mr. Potter. “In my day, it was all about the slicked back look. Very difficult for me to manage,” he said.

“Yeah, well, your day was in the nineteen-teens, Dad. It’s the seventies now.”

“Is that one of your friends?” Lily’s mother asked, noticing her eavesdropping on the Potters.

“Oh, no,” said Lily, offended. “No, not at all. Just enjoying seeing him embarrassed is all.”

“That’s not very nice, Lily,” her father remarked.

“Nah, it’s good for him,” Lily insisted. “He’s not very nice.”

“Oh, there’s Severus,” Lily’s mum said suddenly. “Severus!’ she called, waving.

“Mum,” Petunia hissed, alarmed. “Why’re you calling him over here?”

“He’s my friend, Tuney, be nice,” Lily hissed right back.

In stark contrast from Lily’s warm homecoming, after several moments of mild searching, Severus came to accept that his mother was not present on the platform. The sounds and sensations of excitement surrounded him: Exalted families reuniting, trunks dragging and teetering, owls hooting and rattling in their cages. But Severus very much felt as if he were on the outside of all of this joy looking in, disconnected. Her absence wasn’t entirely unexpected--as each year passed Severus’ father became more and more angry, which in turn made his mother more and more dismal.

Severus swallowed this disappointment like thick treacle. He felt very much alienated by how different he felt from everyone else on the platform that day--well, almost everyone. In the midst of his somber, faint-hearted search, Severus’ eyes glimpsed Black approach a towering, skeletal woman with his same black hair and grey eyes. Obviously this was his mother, as indicated by her dark, intricate, custom-made robes and upturned nose. This woman clearly had never even considered wearing muggle clothes a day in her life.

Black wore a sour, humorless expression as he stood before her. He turned and met Severus’ eye just for an instant. But in that second, Black and Severus shared their first and last moment of sullen understanding.

Severus nearly jumped from surprise when he heard his name being called. He half-expected (hoped, really) to see his mother standing there, but instead his eyes fell upon Mrs. Evans. He sighed a bit as he dragged his trunk towards the Evanses, knowing he’d now have to make up some excuse yet again for his family’s negligence.

“Hello,” he said tonelessly to Mr. and Mrs. Evans. His eyes shifted with disinterest past Petunia, and he avoided making eye contact with Lily entirely. She would know instantly what was going on if he looked at her--she probably already knew.

Lily did, indeed, surmise fairly quickly that Severus’ mother must not have come, and she would never have expected his father to willingly surround himself with all this magic. Petunia probably quite agreed with him in this regard, but their parents left her with no choice but to come.

Even if she hadn’t know, however, her mother's next words would have given it away.

“Hello, Severus, dear,” she smiled. “Have a good year?” she asked warmly. “I ran into your mother the other day at the grocery store, she asked if we’d be able to pick you up from the platform, so you'll be coming with us, dear.”

Petunia looked as if she might be sick, sending imploring looks to her parents--looks which were utterly ignored.

“We were thinking, though, of stopping for lunch in London,” Lily's father said. “Would that be alright with you, Severus, or are you very eager to get home?”

Lily cringed at the cluelessness of her father's question. Of course, Lily was the one who kept him clueless, carefully dodging questions of Severus’ home life for his sake--she was never quite sure if she was doing the right thing in this regard.

“Yes, my mum’s second-cousin up in Sheffield developed a bad case of mumblemumps.” Severus felt he had used a similar excuse before but he was too disheartened to be creative.

At Mr. Evans’ invitation, Severus shuddered. All he really wanted was to hide away from the world until September. “That’s fine,” he mumbled. “But is it alright if I wear my uniform? I forgot to pack myself muggle clothes..” In truth, Severus was no longer a little boy and the sad excuse of clothing his parents supplied for him were no longer acceptable for public display. His eyes flicked to Lily and he held her gaze fleetingly.

Lily caught Severus’ look, offering him an uncertain smile--uncertain, because she was worried about it coming across as too sympathetic or pitying, so her face muscles weren't quite sure what she wanted them to do.

“Yes, of course, not a problem at all,” Mr. Evans said easily--Petunia stared up at him in horror and disbelief, yet again.

“Bye, Evans!” James called over, and seemed to regret it as soon as his eyes landed on Snape. Lily coolly ignored him. With his parents there, she guessed he surely wouldn't say anything too snide if he didn't want to hear it from them at home. “Snape,” he mumbled, grabbing both his parents by the elbows and steering them swiftly towards the exit of the platform.

The Potters were soon joined by the Lupins and Pettigrews who all greeted one another fondly. James gave Sirius a distant, forlorn wave goodbye as the three families made their exit. James’ mum refused to even be in the presence of Sirius’ mother after Walburga had shouted at Euphemia last year about how James was corrupting her son--Mrs. Potter had infamously said she simply wouldn't stand for such disrespect from a mere child like Walburga Black.

Lily watched the three families carefully, trying to set a slow pace so that they wouldn't again be on top of one another. It was easy enough with her parents, who were content to take in as many magical sights as they could. It was Petunia who was the problem, she was walking so fast she was dangerously close to Potter.

Considering how well Severus knew Lily, he rapidly discerned her woes of their proximity to Potter by her behavior. He burst ahead just a bit, then stopped abruptly, allowing himself to back into Petunia. When she stumbled, Severus mumbled a feigned apology, stating something about his truck getting snagged on the pavement.

Although his scheme had left a more expansive margin between them and Potter, the distraction was noticed by Avery and Avery senior who were conversing with Mulciber and Mulciber senior.

“Snape!” Avery called.

Severus groaned and shook his head in disbelief. This was the opposite of hiding from the world. He stepped a few paces away from the Evanses and mixed in a bit with the flowing horde. He thought he might have escaped them once he was out on the street in front of Kings Cross, but, alas, they jogged breathlessly to his side.

“Where are you going?” Mulciber asked.

“Home. Obviously.”

“By yourself?”

“Yes.”

Severus eyed the Evanses wearily, it was a difficult balancing act--staying close enough to them but not too close to incur suspicion.

“But how do you know the way?” Avery asked with confusion.

Severus rolled his eyes at this question and scoffed. “I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.”

Unfortunately, to Severus’ dismay, Avery then noticed the Evanses nearby.

“Well, well--it’s the mudblood’s muggle family. They look even more like rubbish than I thought they would,” Avery mocked and Mulciber laughed darkly.

Luckily, the Evanses were currently distracted by the fact that Black had escaped his mother’s company and now stood next to Lily, since she was the closest person to a friend that he could find--which said a lot about his relationship to all of the other people around them.

“Hi Evans, and other Evansies,” he grinned at all of them with a smile that even at thirteen made most females weep.

Petunia turned at the greeting and seemed to let go of her enduring hatred of magic for just a moment as she blushed profusely at Sirius’ greeting and smile, “Oh, hello,” she said pleasantly. “Are you a friend of Lily’s? I’m Petunia, her sister” she said, eagerly extending a hand to Sirius.

Lily gaped at her sister as she beheld this incredible display. Normally, Petunia acted as though she was about to catch something contagious and deadly from wizards, yet one look at Sirius and she was sweet as could be. Lily collected herself and snorted. “No,” she said, “This is not my friend.”

Petunia frowned. “Why not?”

“Lily, please. You should be friends with everyone,” insisted their mother. “Hello, dear,” she said to Sirius. “What’s your name?”

Although the Evanses were blissfully unaware of the slurs fired against them, Severus’ gaunt face had turned red with rage at Avery’s insult. He opened his mouth to say something just when Regulus Black joined the little group and interrupted him.

“Mulciber, Avery, your dads are about to apparate without you.” Even though Regulus was a year younger than them, he was more perceptive than those two dimwits combined. Severus might have even liked him if his entire life didn’t revolve around trying to one-up his cleverer, more popular, and even handsomer older brother.

Mulciber and Avery quickly scampered off like roaches to find their fathers without saying another word. Regulus turned back to Severus with a scolding glare.

“Don’t be stupid,” he warned, gesturing his head towards the Evans family a bit of a ways off just before his mother appeared at his shoulder.

“Where’s your brother?” Mrs. Black asked Regulus coldly, shooting Severus an undeserving glare. Then, like a hawk, she scanned the area and spotted her eldest son with the Evanses.

“SIRIUS BLACK. WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT TALKING TO MUGGLES.”

All of the Evans looked shocked by the sudden outburst--all except for Lily, whose cheeks reddened not in embarrassment, but in anger, as the glint in her eye would surely confirm. Still--this was a tricky situation, Lily didn’t know how to engage combatively with a parent, and even if she refused to let it show through her defiant countenance, Lily had to admit to herself that Sirius’ mother was quite fearsome to behold.

“Excuse me, what did you call us?” Mrs. Evans demanded.

“Oh, don’t mind her,” Sirius explained to Lily and the Evans family, clearly unfazed by the outburst. “She’s not used to being out of her coffin.” With that, he shook Petunia’s still outstretched hand and sulked off with his mother.

Petunia stared after Sirius in horror, not at all certain if he was joking or not.

Regulus gave Severus one last look before joining his family.

Severus would have sneered at this entire exchange but the combination of his mother’s negligence and his near public defence of the Evans family left him feeling vulnerable and even more somber. He re-joined Lily and turned straight to her parents.

“I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well. I think I’ll just go home. You go ahead to lunch, I can take the knight bus back home.”

Lily’s parents were alarmed by this idea, exchanging looks with one another that clearly said they both agreed they wouldn't allow Severus to go home on his own.

“We don’t need to stop for lunch, I’d really rather you not go home alone, especially when you’re not feeling well and when your mother asked us to pick you up,” Mrs. Evans insisted. “We can go straight home to Cokeworth instead, drop you off, and have lunch there, so it’s no trouble,” she assured him. Mrs. Evans also thought it was ridiculous to expect a thirteen year old boy to make it all the way back from London on his own--to think of all the terrible things that could happen.

Petunia, on the other hand, sneered and frowned deeply as though it was a great deal of trouble indeed.

“Yes. fine,” Severus muttered, keeping his gaze on his shoes.

~~*~~

Severus sat on a less littered area of the grassy bank overlooking the filthy river of Cokeworth. It wasn’t a tranquil or pretty site to say the least. The surrounding area was blanketed in a thick fog caused by the chimneys of the endless identical brick homes that lined the water. Off in the distance, a run-down mill could be seen, rocking uselessly with the wind.

No, this side of Cokeworth wasn’t much to regard, especially in contrast to the majesty of Hogwarts, but this had always been Severus’ place. He would come here to be alone, to escape his volatile home environment. Now, Severus was really just hoping to escape his own thoughts. Tears leaked from his eyes and rolled off of his chin as his thoughts lingered on his mother’s absence and his failure to stand up for his best friend and her family, who had been more welcoming to him than his own parents ever were.

But what would standing up for them have done, really? Would it have shifted anyone’s cemented prejudice? Would it have stopped future cruelty? No, probably not. Certainly, though, it would have destroyed Severus. If the Slytherins turned against him then he would truly be alone.

He tried to distract himself by pulling out his copy of The Two Towers and forced himself to read.

Lily always knew where to look for Severus when she wanted to find him--she knew all his favorite haunts as well as her own; in fact, many of his favorite places were hers as well. The bank by the river wasn’t necessarily one of those mutually beloved spots--Cokeworth in its entirety was fairly grimy--everything seemed to be coated in pollution--but the river had to be one of the absolute grimiest places. Her grandparents could still remember a time when you used to be able to swim in it or take a boat out if the current wasn’t too harsh--those days were clearly long since past. Lily frequently wrote letters and petitions to the city council about the desecration of the local environment, but all they seemed to care about was commerce.

Still, after she’d gotten home from lunch with her parents and Petunia, Lily had a strong feeling that she would find Severus there. He didn’t seem to be in high spirits, not that Lily could blame him in the least, and the river was a fitting landscape for low-spirited individuals.

Lily had already changed back into her Muggle clothes--she frequently donned them on the weekends at Hogwarts, anyway, as most non-purist kids did, but she usually added some magical accouterments, even if it was only her robes over them. Now, Lily had no robes on, just a yellow jumper tucked into a plaid skirt, white knee socks, and loafers.

She spotted the top of Severus’ head first and smiled a bit at her talent for finding him. It felt good to know someone as well as she knew Severus.

“Hey,” she said simply, sliding into the spot on the grass next to him. “Oh, I could really read those again this summer,” she said dreamily, noticing the title of the book. One of the things Lily most looked forward to in the summer was being at liberty to read anything she liked.

Severus wasn’t in the least surprised when Lily found him. They always knew how to find each other at home. He just wished he had cleaned himself up a bit better before she arrived.

“Yes, I missed them,” he replied, carefully keeping his stare on the pages.

“Sorry for making you come home early…” he went on with melancholy. “I just...Couldn’t be there with so many people around.” He frowned.

Lily shrugged, “It’s okay, I didn’t mind,” she said truthfully. Even if Cokeworth was nothing like the Scottish countryside, or even London, she still always found she genuinely missed home--she liked the familiarity of their favorite restaurant at home and the way her room felt like a new place the first day she got back.

She watched Severus for a minute longer, then looked back out at the river--she could tell he was still upset, and she suspected he may have been crying, but she wasn’t entirely sure about that. She had a strong urge to ask him how he was, but Lily knew that if Severus was actually going to tell her, then he just would, and if she asked, she might scare him off.

“If they would just put a garbage bin here there would at least be less litter,” she remarked instead. “I should write to someone about it--I doubt it will do any good, but I’ll at least have done my part.” Lily’s father was a history and government teacher, and he always tried to instill Lily and Petunia with a strong sense of civic duty. It had worked on Lily, at least.

Severus listened to Lily speak as he stared out at the water. He wasn’t processing what she was saying but the sound of her voice comforted him. It reminded him that they were away from Hogwarts now, away from everything and everyone. Severus didn’t have to be defensive here, he could just be with Lily.

Fresh tears began to well in Severus’ eyes, but this time he didn’t actively hide them from Lily. “She didn’t even look up from the couch when I came in,” he began suddenly, his voice quivering. “She’s so unhappy, I used to make her happy.”

It took all of Lily’s will power not to cry at the sight of Severus crying--it made her profoundly sad just to see him sad, but she needed to be the strong and supportive one now.

Lily wrapped her arm firmly around Severus’ shoulders, leaning her head against his.

“She loves you, Sev,” said Lily. “But it can’t be all on you to make her happy,” she said. “She--everyone, really, has to find happiness inside of themselves before anything else.” Lily sighed, “But it’s not always so easy to do.”

Severus nodded slowly and wiped his face on the sleeve of his school sweater.

“You’re right, I just--I just wish I could change that for her. I wish I could change a lot of things...” he then broke apart from her just slightly so that he could turn to look at her. “Are you happy, Lily?”

Lily nodded--of course, she imagined one of the main things he must have wished he could change was his father, though, she didn't say it. Lily couldn't imagine what Severus could really do about him.

She considered the question, then answered with a decisive, “Yes.” Overall, Lily had much to be happy about, she had good friends, good parents, and a good education. “I mean...obviously there are things that bother me,” she admitted. “Like...well, Petunia,” she said, since this was the most immediate thing on her mind. Petunia had sulked the whole ride home and all through lunch.

“I seem to make her miserable just by being around, and I try so hard to be sensitive and considerate of her feelings. I get why she would be jealous. I try not to go on too much about school and asking her things about her self, but she barely even answers,” Lily said and rubbed her forehead. “We just...used to be so close. I always think I can fix it, but every break I'm less and less sure of that.”

Lily sighed. “Now it probably sounds like I'm not happy, but I am. I try not to let my happiness be affected by things I can't control, and Merlin knows I can't control Petunia.”

She then looked over carefully at Severus, “Are you happy, Sev?” she asked.

Severus’ eyes rounded a bit when he heard his question turned onto him. He held Lily’s gaze as he contemplated his answer. Happiness was complicated and volatile for Severus, which made it difficult to quantify. But there was a happiness that he was sure of--one that was always unwavering.

“I am happy when I’m with you.”

Lily smiled, though she wished he could say he was happy most of the time. She hadn’t exactly expected him to say that, though, and she appreciated the honesty.

“I’m happy when I’m with you, too,” she told him. Lily hesitated for a moment--although she’d always known Severus had a difficult life, she thought he was happier at Hogwarts than he’d just implied. He seemed well-liked by the other Slytherins, and that gave him a certain amount of status at school. Of course, Potter and Black gave him trouble, but Severus always got them back. If he wasn’t fully happy at school, was it to do with his friends?

“Aren’t you happy with Avrey, Mulciber, and Wilkes, too, though?” she asked gently. As much as she didn’t like them and as much as they sometimes made her jealous, when faced with Severus’ unhappiness, she found herself hoping their friendship was genuine.

“Most of the time,” Severus answered honestly. “But it isn’t quite the same.”

Truthfully, despite the Slytherins' purist hostility, Severus did consider them to be good friends of his. But meeting Lily after years of neglect and cruelty at home had introduced him to true happiness. Nothing else compared.

Lily nodded, feeling better at the reassurance that his friends made him happy.

“I know what you mean,” she said. “I love Marlene and Mary and Dorcas, but it’s not quite the same either,” Lily agreed. “But maybe it’s not meant to be the same. Childhood friends are something...different, something special,” she smiled. “We’re lucky we were able to stick together.”

Severus smiled a bit sheepishly in response. If it wasn’t for the lack of coloration in his complexion he may have even blushed. It thrilled him to know he was special to her--not that this was news, of course, but still. Hearing it aloud made it all the more real.

“I promise I’ll spend more time with you next year. We’re not little kids trying to fit in anymore, it’ll be different.”

Lily smiled optimistically, choosing to take Severus at his word. “I’d like that,” she said. “And I’ll be here for you all summer, whenever you need me.”

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