#i have two other cards i wanna edit so maybe soon more..........
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autism-corner · 1 year ago
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Levi cardedit <3
my lil notes about it under the cut =w=bb
TRANSFEM LEVI MY LOVE. shes too good for this world.
jellyfish haircut (somewhat)
pink end highlights
eyeliner/blush
snakebites, eyebrows & tongue pierced
split tongue not pictured :(
cute lil matching ring with mc
sharper tooth/fang
her nails match mine irl (yellow is my colour and blue is hers, we each have the others color on the pointer, middle & ring fingers)
pride flags on her hat (NOTICE HOW THE AROACE IS JUST COLOURPICKED FROM THE OG. aroace levi is literally canon guys.)
lil boob shadow bc you know shes flat as hell <3
YIPPEE I LOVE HER SM
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lueurjun · 4 months ago
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f1 driver!boyfriend heeseung.
request — if you are accepting requests i was thinking maybe something like formula one driver heeseung x reader where they travel to support him at his races all around the world, and also watching their boyfriend become world champion at the end of the season? thank you <3 !! 🎀
eek ! sorry this took so long. i have been in a deep writers block. but i hope you enjoy this lovely <3 this is long, my bad… i got carried away because i loved writing this. i had so much fun im not even kidding, i think i’m going to turn this into a written series for heeseung.
refer to this edit for the vibes—it has me in a chokehold and gave me the motivation for this.
rocking back and forth because ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
LEE HEESEUNG?? FORMULA ONE DRIVER?
SEDATE ME ! I NEED THIS
ahem anyways :)
heeseung’s career began at eight years old when his parents finally gave in and allowed him to start go karting.
f1 was his dream! he had posters in his room. miniature car figurines in a glass case that he didn’t let anybody touch. he sat for every race, knew every driver and owned so much merch that his mother had to hide her credit card
it’s giving maddy knew who she was from a young age- it’s giving obsession- it’s giving me with my enhypen obsession-
it was clear from the get go that this kid had some talent. he knew what he was doing and he knew how to do it better than anyone else
though he’s always been a little bit of a shit talker and ended up in several friendly feuds with other upcoming drivers.
lmao can you imagine 8 year old heeseung bickering with max verstappen?
as he grew older, he began competing in various competitions, and won the majority of them which opened up the doors to competing internationally
years later, he secures a position in F3 and gradually works his way up to F2. eventually, he makes it into F1 as one of the most promising drivers, under the guidance of red bull
now let’s introduce you
*louder than heeseung* hey 😘😉
you met Heeseung at one of his karting races when he was 15. instantly recognizing his potential, you had him sign your phone case, insisting that he was going to be famous one day and you wanted to sell it on ebay when he did.
absolute icon if you ask me
he thought you were being ridiculous, but he couldn't help but feel flattered by your confidence. after signing your phone case, he surprised you by asking for your number.
and who are you to pass up on the opportunity to keep in touch with a soon to be famous racer?
i can race faster than him just sayin ✋🙂‍↔️🤚 broom broom
the two of you remained in touch, and you attended as many races as possible to support him as a best friend. two years later, just as he secured a seat in F2, heeseung nervously asked you to be his partner.
which, of course, you were more than happy to.
now, onto present day: f1 driver heeseung with you, his beloved partner.
not you in your wag era-
i genuinely see you owning a tiktok account where you kinda just post daily grwms or vlogs which feature heeseung and your life travelling with him
and everybody eats it up because they get to see the human side of heeseung not just the aggressive driver that shit talks everything and everyone
yes i’m making him a sassy shit talker because i want to SUE ME
you kinda prove to his haters that he’s actually a huge nerd with the cutest personality, which garners him a lot more support
his team ADORES you for this
but it’s also really funny because why is the p2 winner, cocky red bull driver giving your followers a haul on all of his toy story merch?
his helmet is definitely custom designed as buzz lightyear and i find that absolutely adorable
he also has your initial on his helmet somewhere that everyone thinks is so sickeningly cute
he calls it his good luck charm
you receive some hate with jealous people accusing you of only wanting his money and fame
haters come outside i’m not gonna do anything. haha. i just wanna talk ( and set their hair on fire ) just a lil chit chat 😃
but for the most part, you are actually very much adored
if fans see you walking around, they call out for you to take pics with them
which you do, albeit with a little hesitance, as you’re not used to the spotlight and don’t quite understand why people idolise you.
ummmm because you’re perfect🫶 hope this helps
in this scenario, you’re a full time influencer which makes it easy for you to travel alongside him and attend all of his races
which is good because you couldn’t make his japan gp due to an issue and he damn near lost his mind
bro was STRESSING
i would be too if i had u and had to deal with a couple days without u 🫶
he made it everyone’s issue
his team were so tired of him that they sent you multiple texts begging for you to get on a flight
he was so sassy during his interviews and the viewers immediately knew it was because you weren’t there
‘bringy/nback’ trended with memes making fun of him for being a brat without you there
he finished really badly that weekend
bro relies on you fr
when you eventually returned at his side for his next race
he was back to his angelic self
you made him apologize to all the team
imagine you stood behind him with your arms crossed, shaking your head while he sheepishly apologises in front of everyone for being difficult HAHHAHA
he was all smiles in his interview and got p1 because he was eager to impress you
gigglin and kickin my feet BECAUSE HES SO CUTE
and you’re stood in the paddock, watching with the biggest grin on your face
when the podium celebration rolls around, you’re front row and he makes sure you get hit with some champagne with the biggest shit eating grin you’ve ever seen
he ruined your very expensive outfit but you didn’t have it in you to be mad
i would never do that to you personally- just saying, your clothes would always be in pristine condition if you were with me… just sayin ✋😌🤚
when the two of you leave literally anywhere, he gets swarmed by fans
tells them to wait a second, and gets you to the car safely before he jogs over to sign some stuff
if you can’t get to the car, he makes sure your hand is in his, keeping you close whilst he signs things
he’s always hyper aware of your safety in public
if you’re instantly met with flashing lights, he will either cover your eyes or take off his hat and put it on your head to shield you
your safety always comes before his
also can we talk about your fashion?
you always dress to impress, never a bad outfit day
pfft is anyone surprised? you’re literally gods gift to earth- MOVE HEESEUNG
travel days are always so tiring for heeseung
which is when you become the protective one
holding him protectively whilst you both wait for your flight
running your hands through his hair
he holds you so tight; he doesn’t care who sees or about getting teased by his fellow drivers
when you’re finally in the air, whether it be private jet or not, you always make yourself into a personal pillow for him
it could be the cushiest flight known to man, and you’d still be his pillow
that should be me fr
he sleeps like a baby the whole time
and you don’t mind because you know he needs it
in the days leading up to the championship, he becomes…
unbearable? whiny? annoying? come here, i’d never- sorry sorry 😔
tense…
his stress levels are through the roof and nothing really helps other than just letting him be
he’s snappier than usual, but after many years together, you’ve learned to let it go
because you know this is a huge deal for him and he always apologises afterwards
the only thing you can really do is serve as his support and try to relax him as best as you can
like couple spa days when his schedule isn’t crammed
sightseeing to enjoy the beautiful country
even lying in your hotel room the night before, reminiscing about your relationship and his journey to becoming one of the best
you’d feel his heartbeat beneath your back which would be pressed up against him
his shaky breaths against the side of your neck as he pressed nervous kisses beneath your ear, nibbling slightly on the lobe
god… i’ve seen what you’ve done for others
“will you still love me if i don’t win tomorrow?”
you can tell he’s straddling the line between joking and genuinely needing reassurance
so, you do what you always do
you turn, cup both of his cheeks in your palms, and press your forehead against his
“you look funny.”
he’d giggle, and you’d start wiggling your eyebrows to make him laugh harder
and he always does, because to him, you’re the funniest person he’s ever met
then, you’d scrunch up your nose and gently sweep it against his, eventually leaving a kiss on the bridge.
“i will love you no matter what. even if you wake up tomorrow and decide that you want to quit, i will love you. even if you decide to walk away from it all, i will love you. because at the end of the day, it’s not the trophies that matter or the podiums. it’s you. you, you, you! your happiness, your peace of mind. you are my greatest achievement; you are my championship win. and i will love you until my heart beats its last pump of blood.”
if you look closely, you can see me drowning in the shower-
a million kisses are shared that night before the two of you finally slip into a steady sleep
when the next morning rolls around, heeseung doesn’t talk much as he gets himself ready for the race
you’re a bundle of nerves as you follow behind him, hand clutched in his own
pre race cuddles are a must in his little rest room
there’s not much talking, heeseung quite likes his silence to gather his mind and enter his racing headspace
but his hold on you, and the way he looks at you speaks for itself. you don’t need his words to know that he loves you and he wants to win not only for himself or red bull, but you.
“if we win this, i’ll give you my helmet to sell on ebay. i think it would go nicely with the signature i gave you at 15.”
your heart quite literally melts into a puddle at the memory
you grin, peppering a bunch of kisses all over his face until you finally land on his lips, soaking in the pre race nerves and savouring the taste of nutella from his pancakes he had that morning
“oh, i am going to be absolutely loaded.”
the two of you share a laugh, knowing silently that you’d never sell it on ebay because it’s tucked away in your memory box, where it will stay until you’re grey and old
a piece of the past where the two of you very first met
the peace drains from the room as though a plug had been pulled from the bathtub, with tension and nerves flooding in
look at me getting all poetic 😌
heeseung doesn’t let go of your hand until he absolutely has to
leaving you alongside his family members with a kiss so passionate it left your mind reeling
his mother grabs your hand after sharing her own moment with him, and the two of you hold on tight to the hope that he’s going to win
the race is tense, you’re almost in tears from the chaos and the nerves
your heart feels like it’s seconds from stopping as the end to the final lap approaches with heeseung in close second
he’s going to overtake, and you’re not quite sure whether your heart could handle it
STOP WHY IS MY HEART POUNDING AS IF IM THERE PLS
you grip onto his mother, the two of you holding onto each other in anticipation
it happens within seconds, you barely have time to process it
heeseung overtakes, barely missing the Ferrari car as he does so
several seconds later, your world stops as the red bull team bursts into celebration
someone is shaking you, gripping onto you with pure elation but everything is in slow motion
heeseung just won the world championship
your heeseung just won
nah because why am i crying? someone take my laptop i’m far too into this
you choke out a sob, allowing his mother to cradle you in her arms with tears flowing down her own cheeks
you’re a crying mess, blubbering proudly and unable to make sense of anything
you don’t even care that the camera is on you, displaying your reaction for everyone to see
“he did it!”
“he absolutely did!”
you don’t know how much time has passed before he’s running towards you, yanking the helmet off
there’s no time to process anything before he sweeps you up into his arms, pressing kisses all over your skin wherever his lips could fit
he holds you like you’re the trophy, lifting you up proudly like a medal
tears cascade down your cheeks like a summer waterfall, while warmth and joy spread through you
he did it. he actually did it.
“get that helmet signed, boy. i’m gonna be rich!”
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xamaxenta · 4 months ago
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Ace goes from just delivering Sabo’s little love notes and valentines to now doubling down and sending his own, he’s gotta properly court Marco now that he’s decided he’s in love with him y’know Sabo get a head start Ace has to catch up. Marco gets a package on his doorstep, two more birds, and one is a familiar clean butchering; the dove has been cleanly and neatly dissected and all it’s organs have been removed and preserved and pinned down into a pretty little shadow box, there’s a blue ribbon tied around the package, it’s so clearly Sabo’s work, but the other one…
The other one is a hawk, and it isn’t clean at all. It wasn’t shot, no, it wasn’t killed in any kind of traditional way. It looks like whoever did it caught it with their Teeth, snatched it off a branch like an animal would, bit clean through hollow bird-bones. There’s a card with it that’s just an imprint of this person’s teeth, showing that the bites match, they line up perfectly.
Sabo uploads a new video. “Serial Killers Talking About You NSFW ASMR 😘👅” and it’s clearly scripted, things are kept vague enough that anybody who doesn’t Know would easily just assume this is more of his usual dark RP stuff, but Marco Does know. This is a conversation about him. Only Sabo’s half of the conversation — his accomplice isn’t actually in the video — but Marco can guess what was said based on Sabo’s replies, and maybe Sabo is embellishing or editing for the camera but the gist of the conversation must of been the same. They talked about Marco, about falling for him, about the accomplice specifically falling for him. Sabo is smug and amused and turned on, he knew it was only a matter of time until they were both on the same page.
Marco gets another package in the mail. A necklace — red coral beads, worn-smooth and slightly faded, clearly something old and well-loved. This one has a photograph too. It’s a picture of the necklace Marco was wearing that night he walked home from the bar, the one he’d barely noticed getting snatched off his neck during the thrill of the chase. It’s wrapped around a fist — tanned skin, scarred knuckles, calloused fingers, little freckles dotting the back of the hand — and that fist in turn is wrapped around a cock, fully hard and beading precum at the tip and jutting up from a thatch of dark hair. Marco can just barely see the edge of a toned stomach, muscled thighs. A little note in scratchy hand-writing. “Trade you.”
SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO REPLY got lost in the sauce
I love delivery boy Ace hes such a good boy BUT ONLY for Sabo and Sabo alone however Marco may be changing him slowly and soon. Perhaps. He can he at Marcos beck and call too :3
The beautifully butchered creatures Sabo takes apart just to present their bones as trinkets, morbid little gifts to showcase just how much he loves and thinks of Marco all hand crafted its so intimate and they all take so much personal time to put together that theres no chance Marco cant not see the depth of Sabos obsessive love for him
And the hawk!!! Ace captured it and snapped its neck between his teeth, the hard card stock provided with the INPRINT OF HIS OWN TEETH TO SHOW A PERFECT MATCH HIS LARGE CANINES!!! Genrvahdhishs fucking henious creature he just wants to show off to Marco, hes big hes bad grrrr r r. R r r r r
The newest upload pings Marcos notifs and he knows from the get go that the subject matter involves him which should be the greatest red flag of all time that only makes him feel so much hotter, dimming the lights shutting the door but leaving his blinds unshuttered listens to the audio because the whisper of Sabos voice is molten heat and softest velvet and Marco shouldn’t want him or his accomplice but here he is stroking himself lazily to the voice of a man who eagerly wants to disembowel him, because he is the focal subject of this particular upload
I wanna say thank you for this part the trade of the necklaces Ace giving up something so personal to himself as a sign of his courtship and as a visual claim on Marco…. Fucking sexy
The addition of the photo with the stolen necklace around his dick is also absolutely insane because its so visceral theyre functioning as one unit yet the way they want to show their feelings towards Marco is so different Sabos slowburn, coy gifts and layered innuendo via the media Marco initially found him through and Aces direct contact approach..
Marco how does he feel receiving such a highly sexual image along with what should be a pretty normal gift, if not a little intimate due to the wear and tear on the beads, thrilled probably that he has made such a profound impact on these two men, the tension between all three of them stretches gossamer thin!!!
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autisticprentiss · 2 years ago
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Sleepover
Emily Prentiss X reader.
You and Emily start cuddling to help each other sleep on away cases. It's probably not the best idea when you're both hiding feelings for the other.
Part 1/?
Not edited, and posted from mobile :/
/ Wednesday 7th, 11:55 pm. Seattle. /
You stand with the team watching Hotch talk with the motel receptionist. You can tell from the way she doesn't quite meet Hotch's eyes that you're not getting as many rooms as he's asking for. 
You've been with the BAU for 6 months now and have managed to avoid sharing a room on non-local cases up until now. 
Hotch takes the offered keycards from the receptionist, and heads back over to the team. 
"We got two shared rooms, any volunteers?" He says. 
You shrug, "I'll share," it's 5 to midnight and you know you won't be spending that much time at the hotel while you're on the case anyway, so you may as well try and get into a bed quickly. 
Emily nods, "I'll room with Agent Y/N." 
Hotch hands you each a key marked for room 305 and waits for anyone else to volunteer. 
After a moment of silence, Hotch sighs, "Okay, Morgan and Reid; you're sharing too. Everybody get some rest, we'll meet back here at 8am."
You see Rossi and JJ both silently cheer and thank Hotch as they grab their keycards and run off like they're worried Hotch will change his mind. 
Emily laughs as Morgan grumbles under his breath as he takes the other matching keycards from Hotch. 
"Please, no podcasts tonight." He begs Reid and they walk off towards the elevator with Hotch. 
It's just you and Emily left in the small reception area, you quickly look at her then dart your eyes to the stairwell, already starting to move when you challenge her, "Race you?" 
You don't stick around to hear her reply, but you can hear her footsteps right behind you as you race up the stairwell. 
You're at the door first, but the lock refuses to accept your card and Emily smirks as she unlocks the door on the first try. 
"I guess we'll call it a tie?" She suggests, laughing as she drops her go-bag on the bed closest to the window. 
You both go about your routines, getting ready for bed silently and whisper your "Goodnights" into the darkness. 
/ Thursday 8th, 1:30am /
You turn again, bury your head in the pillow and try not to scream. 
You've been trying to fall asleep for over an hour now, and everytime you feel you might be close you jolt awake. 
"Trouble sleeping?" Emily asks.
You mumble, "I'm used to a weighted blanket at home, just need to adjust."
You can hear her shuffle about in her bed, before she speaks, "Come over here. Bring your bedding, I'm the big spoon." Emily's voice has a finality to it, and you know she'll just insist if you argue so you sigh and throw your pillow at her, dragging your blanket behind you. 
She pulls you to lay next to her, covering you both with the blankets and shifting until she's comfortably pressed against your back. 
"Sleep now," She says, throwing her arm around your stomach. 
After barely 10 minutes you feel her breathing even out on the back of your neck, and you relax fully against her and fall asleep. 
/ 6:40am /
You wake up slowly, warm, minutes before your alarms due to sound off. You and Emily must have both moved around in your sleep, instead of spooning you, she's now on her back with you cuddling her side like a baby koala. You have one leg thrown over her hips and your head is buried in the crook of her neck, you wish you weren't just cuddling as friends or co-workers, you want to wake up with the casual intimacy of nosing along her jawbone, trailing kisses along her skin until she stirs. 
Instead, you gently nudge her shoulder, sneak in a quick boop to her nose, "Em, you might wanna wake up soon." 
She mumbles something, you're not sure it's English, and pulls herself up to rest on her elbows. 
"I think I know what 'well rested' means now, that's the best I've ever slept." Emily sounds surprised, and you hum.
"Maybe we should cuddle more often," you joke. 
"I might take you up on that, seriously I don't even think I need coffee this morning."
"That's a shame, I was going to shout you for getting me to sleep last night."
"I said I don't need coffee, not that I didn't want it." She pouts, you pull yourself away and out of bed to where your go-bag ended up and fish your wallet out, throw it towards Emily's bed.
"3 sugars with milk please? I'm gonna grab a quick shower." 
You shower quickly, just finishing up when you hear Emily come back in the room. You dry and dress quickly, heading back into the main room. 
Emily hands you a coffee cup and small brown paper bag, "I brought you a crossant too."
You thank her and both of you sit at the small coffee table, flicking through the case file and sharing some thoughts while you eat. 
At 7:30 Emily crumples her cardboard coffee cup and sighs, "I'll shower and we'll head down to the lobby." 
"Sounds good," you nod. 
/ 8am / 
Emily and yourself are the first to reach the lobby, with Morgan and Reid close behind, playfully arguing with each other as they exit the elevator. 
"How and why do you two look so awake and alert?" Morgan asks. 
You laugh, "We didn't room with Reid," and Emily makes a mock snoring sound. 
You, Morgan and Emily all laugh while Spencer glares. Hotch, Rossi and JJ exit the elevator together and everyone stands up a little straighter, ready to receive your assignments and head down to the precinct. 
Hotch clears his throat, "Reid and Y/L/N you'll head to the precinct and meet with Detective Babineaux, he'll show you where we can set up a workspace. Prentiss and Rossi, go down to the mourge and see M.E Chakrabarti and the two victims' bodies. JJ, Morgan,  you're with me, we're speaking to the victims' families." 
Everyone nods along as he speaks, and you break off into your groups. Since the Medical Examiner's office is part of the precinct, you, Reid, Rossi and Emily share an SUV.
All thoughts of sharing a bed with Emily again are gone from your mind as you focus entirely on the cases, reading over Reid's notes while Emily drives.
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madeupoflowers · 3 years ago
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Your next glow-up!😗💅🧚🏻‍♀️
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LMAO ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I’VE POSTED BUT NO FEAR IM HERE NOW.
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Excited I got more posts coming as soon as I finish editing them.
Now, pick a Mina Myoi(from left to right) and whichever picture(s) tug at your heart has a message for you! If nothing happens then thats fine as well, this post may not have a message for you yet. Take care and I hope you all enjoy. Sending lots of fairy dust to you lovelies.😗💕💗🧚🏻‍♀️
Pile 1
My instant though when putting down the cards was “counseling or psychiatric”. I feel if you chose this pile you are definitely going to prioritize your mental health more. There are deep wounds here and I’m so happy to see you all seeking the help your hearts need. Healing from toxic illusions and patterns passed onto you and healing your wounded/broken heart. I feel someone here got screwed over by a former institution or mental health worker, someone you spilled your heart out too who completely let you down. You’ll be taking a big and brave step to opening your heart a little bit to seek help again. I see someone breaking their shackles and them falling onto the floor and shattering as if they were made of glass. Don’t mind the slight graphic nature of my next sentence but you will be shedding your skin and becoming a whole new and different person. Trust me when I say it’ll be the best thing to happen because you will find inner peace. You will take more time for yourself and have no guilt for it. You are finally gonna be seeing your worth and God…that makes me so damn proud of you. Cheers to you babe. Wishing you the best of luck!! <3
Channeled messages: silver cup, lysol wipes(idk either dude), Virgo, mint, dark colored eyes, Keanu Reeves, 16
(such a beautiful cover of Coldplay’s, (Yellow)
Pile 2 
OHHHHHH DAMN HONEEEYYY. Ok ok I’ll stop. Y’all have been putting in work for what may feel like such a long damn time already. Well hon let me tell you it was all worth it and now your luck is about to change for the absolute best. I got the Empress and Queen of pentacles/and wands in this reading(bare in mind this is for all genders so don’t let Empress or Queen catch you off guard) so you will be growing into the most true and comfortable side of yourself. It is who you have seemed to have been unsure of for so long and maybe even insecure. I feel some people here have been uncomfortable with their natural feminine/masculine energy and have been trying to reject it but now you will see the value in it. I see this is really gonna surprise many around you as it may literally be you waking up one day and saying “Fuck it, this is who I am.” I see cutting a few people off specifically two people are standing out here. These people have either been up in your physical space and leeching off of you even or taking up space in your mind and causing distress. Either way they have been real douchebags and you are D.O.N.E. You are gonna get rid of those holding you back. You will step into your power and take the reigns and ride off into the fucking sunset. Good for you babes. Shame on those that thought they could take your power from you cause shiiit, they are about to regret it. 
Channeled messages: a significant necklace, silver star stickers, gold, sunflower, snakes slithering around, clouds, oranges, wind chimes
Pile 3
Yup, this is the break up pile. Situationship/lead on/third party/etc. You have been stuck in a situation where you didn’t know which step to take, almost like you find your worth in others especially romantic partners. Now this shit is about to shift. You are taking that power back for yourself and giving no fucks about it. You went from the Page to the Queen of wands. You are tired of these useless battles and waste of time. Giving more and accepting less than you fucking deserve. Ugh I’m feeling angry all of a sudden and like I wanna scream, you have been holding this frustration and burden in for so long. Let it all out honey. You decide if this is how you wanna live your truth. You want someone who puts in 100%? Then accept NOTHING less. You understand me? Know you don’t need to settle for ‘Page’ like personalities(negative Pages: immature, unfaithful, angry, guilt trip, unmotivated.) but King/Queen like personalities whether that be in love or friendships. I see you loving yourself more and taking time for yourself. Loving yourself the way you would want to be truly loved. Babes, you are stepping into such a powerful era I am so excited for you. You aren’t gonna settle for anything less, you are becoming aware of how much of this life if all in your hands. Take your power back. This is your life. Not anyone else's. You better remember that. Good luck hon. I’m rooting for you!
Channeled messages: Joan of Arc, Athena, maple, the Phoenix from Harry Potter, amber eyes, pink silk, Taurus, sound of flowing water, smell of moss, humidity, the Earth after it just rained, 11, waxing crescent moon
(Hehe I love this song. Pink is so snarky and hilarious. Highly recommend a listen!)
Pile 4:
Ahhh yes every reading seems to have this pile lol. Y’all got mostly Court and Major arcana cards. Literally only one Minor Arcana. Wow. If you chose this pile I know damn well you are not letting any of these bitches take your kindness for weakness. You are so kind and giving but I feel on the surface you protect yourself like a Spartan going into battle. It sucks you had to have been abused so much to have to harden and protect yourself like that. It makes me so mad and disgusted. Know your next glow up is learning how to keep balance when it comes to being sensitive but also not a push-over. I feel you guard yourself too much it could accidentally pinch those you love dearly and even yourself. Balance is a challenge for you, I can feel it. That’s gonna be one of the main lessons this time honey, you will learn how to play the cards of your own game and not subconsciously put those in other people’s hands. You of course are a naturally strong and protective soul, you’d fight and maybe even kill for the ones you love. Know that you don’t gotta choose a side of yourself. You don’t gotta repress yourself. In the end all those little pieces of you are what makes you this whole, powerful and amazing human being. This unique soul. Take zero guilt for setting boundaries and laugh until you tear up. I know being vulnerable is such a challenge and won’t be healed over night but I see you opening up gradually and surly. To me that is beyond beautiful. I’m so proud you. I believe you so much. Sending my love to you. Channeled messages: ENTJ, yin & yang, colorful beads, silver wire, yellow daisies, black top, green eyes, Aries, deli, India, ‘the land of the rising sun’, the word ‘Ancient’(instantly thought of a very old soul)
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goldentsum · 4 years ago
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━ thirst posts - idol! reader 
CHARACTERS: bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto, kirishima eijirou, shinsou hitoshi, kaminari denki
GENRE: suggestive themes, crack
AUTHOR’S NOTE: finally, another bnha post-- my submissive and overstim fic on my bnha masterlist was lonely so i whipped up another bb HAHAHAHA UNEDITEDDDD
━ bakugou ♡
an angry boy that hides his feelings inside and in social media--.. he has multiple accounts that caters to different moods that he has, there’s the daddydom acct then theres the sweetbabyboi acct-- HE WOULD RATHER DIE THAN SOMEONE FINDING OUT HE HAS THE LATTER ACCOUNT
kacchan loves you because of the fact that you two were different but also similar, with him being angry and intimidating on the surface but a mess of feelings inside and with you being sweet and soft on the surface but a vixen inside 
DUALITY-! TODOROKI DOESN’T EVEN COMPARE TO YOU WHEN IT COMES TO DUALITY-! bakugou would fight anyone for you if someone calls bullshit on you. he would 100% NO HESITATION would deck someone-- 
he def has thousands of pictures of you in his phone and laptop, the ratio of pics of him and other things to you is outstanding,, 1:8 def
HE ALSO SCREAMED ONE TIME WHEN YOU POSTED A VIDEO WITH YOU SHOWING YOUR DUALITY--! everyone in the dorm thought he was angry, in actuality he was hyperventilating because you’re so hot-- also this happens so frequently, class A doesn’t even address it
bakugou: [SCREAMING IN HIS ROOM]
class a: lol, yall hear something--
[(y/n)ssweetboi]: hOW CAN SOMEONE BE SO SOFT THEN TURN SO SINFULLY PRETTY?? I’M SO ANGRY AND SO ATTACKED RN-!! mOMMY NEEDS TO CALM THE TF DOWN AND SHOULD JUST WRAP THE HOLY THIGHS AROUND MY FACE-! 
━ todoroki ♡
he’s basically the epitome of head empty just (y/n) 24/7 pls--
people would look at him and think, “huh, i wonder what goes inside that pretty head of his?” then todoroki’s brain just goes: “rAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) RAIL (Y/N) “
if someone has a mind-reading quirk, press f for them because of how sinful his thoughts are-- 
HE DOESN’T EVEN CARE IF ANYONE KNOWS HE’S THINKING OF LEWD THINGS! HE’S SO BRAVE PLS-! SO BRAVELY STUPID AND THIRSTY 
in his room, he has a wall and altar that is dedicated for you. all of your merch, the past concert tickets and bands, polaroid pics he got in your albums, and polaroid pics of when he bought the royalty ticket are all on that wall-- yall wondering how he has all that money to afford that? three words. endeavor’s credit card. 
this boy goes all out when you have a concert-! HE STAYS UP ALL NIGHT TO WAIT IN YOUR WEBSITE WAITING FOR THE SECOND THE PRE-SELLING OF TICKETS. he refreshes the site every 1 second pls--
shouto: [refreshing the site for the nth time at 3 AM] [clearly sleepy]
site: PRE-SELLING
shouto: [SHOOKEDT] [awake af] i AM SPEED-! CLICK YOU FU-
he’s also so cocky and boast-y on his account pls-! he’s so different in his main and irl 
[officially_(y/n)sbabydaddy]: i GOT THE ROYALTY TICKET-! AGAIN! you peasants can’t relate, huh. press f for all of you. i’m going to see my baby mama again <3 a little fact for yall, (y/n) smells really good <3 especially when she’s sweating 🥴 bet she tastes amazing as she smells <3
━ kirishima ♡
baby kiri is still a little shy about mentioning that he likes you and kpop but that doesn’t mean if someone ask him about kpop, he’ll act like he hates it or he doesn’t know. 
A CLOSET HARD STAN THOUGH
hard stan kiri goes HARD FR like his quirk and his dicc AND HE CAN’T BE STOPPED IF HE STARTS
he has you being pretty as usual as his lockscreen and got all giddy and happy when his grandmother ask if you were his girlfriend,, bet your ass that kiri said that you are-! 
inside his phone though, is a completely different matter-.. this boy has all sort of thirst pics of you! and he gets a little shy when he stares at your pictures for a little too long and makes eye contact with you in the pic LIKE HE WASN’T JUST THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING LEWD-! 
he and kaminari binge watches you and your group’s web series and THEY ALWAYS WATCH YOUR COMEBACK TOGETHER AND SCREAM TOGETHER
kaminari thinks kiri is a soft stan and tries to get him to join the dark side aka the hard stan side of twitter-- what kaminari doesn’t know is that kiri is on there already and also creates contents here and there 👀
kaminari: bruhh-! look at this edit of (y/n) as a demon-! 
kirishima: [looking at the video he edited all night] wow--
[rockhardfor(y/n)]: if you see something in my pants- PLEASE ITS NOT A WEAPON AND JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! i don’t wanna go through that again as i try to explain that a video of a queen throwing it back is the cause of that-- </3
━ shinsou ♡
HIM AND TODOROKI ARE THE SAME WITH HOW THEIR THOUGHTS GET 0-100 REAL QUICK-! LEWD THOUGHTS ARE LIVING RENT FREE IN THEIR BRAIN PLS-- 
also that tired look on shinsou’s face is not showing what really goes on his head bUT unlike todoroki, he gets conscious of his thoughts when he gets to the real nasty parts when he’s daydreaming as he remembers there’s people with quirks around him
shinsou: [thinks about you getting your guts rearranged by him] hehe~ <3
also shinsou internally: [realizes that someone might know what he’s thinking about] 002223444212487537924 lah la la la laaa! i’m thinking of rabbits-... yeah rabbits lol fluffy rabbits that hops across the garden- nothing dirty here. just pure innocent thoughts
shinsou also creates and reads fanfiction-- as soon as that bell rings, he would zoom zoom out of that classroom and into his room to read smuts
then he gets inspired and he stays up all night to write THE DIRTIEST SMUT ANYONE HAS EVER READ-!! the piece gets A LOT of hearts and comments and he’s PROUD PROUD
now he also has commissions for fanfiction and shinsou is getting money because of how perverted his thoughts are-! he’s also so talented in writing! HE LEGIT GOES INTO DETAILS SO PEOPLE ARE LIKE: “WOAH-!! HOLY WATERRR”
it’s a win-win for shinsou, he can turn his fantasies into stories and GETS money for it? bruh, fap material AND GET CASH <3
[(y/n)as_akittycat]: so is anyone not gonna comment on what (y/n) was doing in the background? KITTY WAS ON H E R KNEESS-!! bruh, kitty is flexible- ya’ll know what this means, right? mORE POSITIONS-! <3
━ kaminari ♡
this boy has no filter THEN HAS THE AUDACITY TO GET EMBARRASS BY IT-! LIKE AREN’T YOU THE ONE WHO SAID, “i want to fuck (y/n) so hard that her ancestors could feel it-” 
so are you not gonna do it? bruh, talk about empty promises- 
HE MAKES SHINSOU SHOOKEDT WITH THINGS HE SAYS AND THAT TIRED BOY MAKES SMUTS-! shinsou def uses kaminari’s lines in his fanfics pls whatta power duo
kaminari: i wanna shove my dick down in (y/n)’s throat and cum so deep, you could see it trailing down her throat--
shinsou: [SHOOKEDT] what the fuck dude?
also shinsou internally: wRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAT DOWN-! 
ONE TIME, he got too excited when you posted a video of your choreography wearing those tiny shorts and he short-circuited-- he really went: “wIEEE~” 
he’s cautious now not too excited, especially when he’s outside and you post out of no where
it’s also a miracle that his twitter account is still running with how erotic and lewd he gets in his tweets-- HE ALSO RETWEETS EDITS OF YOUR MOANS IN HIS FEED-! IN HIS MAIN ACCOUNT! HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A FAN ACCOUNT
he’s either REALLY FUCKING brave or just plain stupid. maybe both idk
[(y/n)k.denki]: have you ever just look at someone and go, “wow, i would really wanna fuck you hard right now” because i do. everytime i see my queen-- LET ME HIT (Y/N)-! I’LL BE GOOD I SWEARRRRRR
2K notes · View notes
jkstompers · 3 years ago
Text
a royal engagement | jjk
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pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader
summary: the rough ground against his clothed knee doesn’t matter anymore when he sees the sweetest smile on your face. everything is perfect.
genre: arranged marriage but they wanna do it right!, best friends to lovers, royalty!au, FLUFF, crown princess!oc, prince!jk, surprises!, jk believes in soulmates confirmed, oc is so in love, perhaps jk flexes how rich he is in this ~(˘▾˘~)
warnings: mentions of sex, sexual tension, more talk of exes (both jk and oc’s), they both talk about losing their virginity, mild jealousy, mentions of menstrual cycles, a little bit of lip locking action
word count: 11.1k
author’s note: ♡ happy jungkook day! ♡ this chapter spans over a week and a half-ish! also i made a little oopsies in the last chapter when i said that oc had only been back in raemor for a week… it’s actually been a month since she’s left the city. i’m sorry about that! i changed it on an arrangement already, but i just figured it out when i was editing this chapter. other than that, i’m so excited for this series and i hope u all enjoy!! pls lmk what u think! ღ'ᴗ'ღ 
banner pic creds here! <3
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jungkook had the utmost faith in you.
there was something in him that always knew that the love the two of you had ran way deeper than a friendship— probably more than a relationship too. it was something like a soul tie. something the stars created before the earth was ever created. two beings that were always meant to be together, in every universe, in every time before and after this. jungkook held his hope in that. his trust that the love the two of you forged was strong enough to pull you out of your room and into his arms before the plane took off.
the war between your head and your heart ended in a stalemate. you were fighting against something that you knew in your heart you wanted. your brain couldn’t make any more excuses to go against it when jungkook laid his heart out on the floor for you. you’d already made your decision before you went to sleep— before you even left jungkook’s grasp. but you were one for the dramatics.
the sound of the plane landing woke you, you were afraid you were too late. thinking that you slept in during a moment that could decide the rest of your life, you ran. bare feet smacking against the cold floor of the castle, before you eventually made it out to the garden and then the royal runway.
the sound of your voice that morning set it in stone. that jungkook will never love another the way he does you.
“jungkook!” you called out.
he was just about to board the plane for fenutar, jungkook and his advisors huddled into a circle to talk about customs and special etiquette since it’s been a while since he’s last visited. your shout interrupted the conversation. jungkook turned around immediately at the familiar voice.
the sight of you running through the cold, wet grass in your sleep wear with a winter coat and no shoes on. it makes his heart swell, with both love and worry. more so worry. “princess? what are you doing out here?! it’s freezing and you’re not even wearing the right clothes—”
you cut him off as you crash into his body for a tight hug. it felt right, it always did. “am i too late?” you ask, face snuggled into his warm chest.
he shakes his head, a little laugh accompanying the words. “you’re just in time.”
now, jungkook and you lay in your bed, staring up at the ceiling together. since seven in the morning, the two of you have just been talking about everything and nothing. mostly just appreciating each others presence. time passed quickly and it was almost time for everyone to start getting ready for breakfast. “so... how should we tell everyone? over breakfast?” you asked, pulling yourself on his chest and resting your cheek against his ribs.
he smiles at you. “sure, i heard they’re serving waffles, donuts— you know, sweet stuff.”
“and wouldn’t our news be so sweet?” you grinned. he laughs and you can feel his chest rise and fall under your head, the sound of his laughter just up against your ear. “should we go now?”
you move to get up, but jungkook stops you, placing a hand on your waist. “let’s stay here for a little bit longer.” he suggests, moving his hand up to run through your hair. “aren’t you tired from your dramatic show of affection this morning?” laughing as his fingers card through the strands of your hair. he combats your glare with a tender massage to your scalp. remembering how you’d always fall asleep whenever he did, and it worked. your eyelids fell and you melt against jungkook as he continues to rub your scalp gently.
love wasn’t scary. times like this, when it’s just you and jungkook; no expectations, no titles, no responsibilities. it’s just love. it wasn’t terrifying, it’s not painful. well, maybe it is sometimes. like how your heart beats out of your chest whenever jungkook looks at you, eyes glistening with admiration. like when you smile at jungkook and he feels like he could burst at any second just from the sight of you. love is hard to explain. love is whatever you make it out to be. and right now, love is in the curve of jungkook’s lips when he smiles at you. love is in the palm of your hand when you reach out to hold him.
the sound of the knocks on the door doesn’t register until the second round of taps. “princess, it is time for breakfast.” you hear from behind the door.
you sit up. “i’ll be right out!” trying to get out of bed but jungkook pulls you back.
“uh-uh,” he tsks. “you’re not dressed.” you furrow your eyebrows before you look down at what you’re wearing. a slip dress, the one you wore to sleep to be specific. “i won’t look, don’t worry.” he laughs, scooting himself up on your bed and covering his face with one of your pillows. he ignores how nice it smells, just like that shampoo he really likes. you bought it back in the city, raemor doesn’t have shampoos that smell like this.
he hears you rustle around in your closet before he hears a faint zip. “wait— jungkook, how does this look?”
the pillow is pulled away from his face and his eyes lay on you. with a colorful sundress draped on your body. it flows and compliments your skin beautifully. you’re beautiful. god, you’re gorgeous. asking jungkook for his opinion wouldn’t help, he’s biased. you’re pretty in his eyes no matter what you wear. “that— yeah, it’s— you look great.” he stumbles over his words.
“cat’s got your tongue?” you tease. in retaliation, jungkook ruffles up your hair a bit, making you groan and spend another five minutes in front of the mirror to fix it. meanwhile, jungkook pulls himself off the bed and straightens his outfit out, opting to leave his jacket off since it was toasty in the castle. he still looks proper and handsome with his white button up and dress pants on. for the last touch, you dig through your jewelry box, knowing that it has to be somewhere in there.
then there it was, at the bottom, tangled with a necklace from your mother, was the friendship bracelet jungkook gave you when you were twelve at the lantern festival. a dainty gold chain with a flower embellishment on it, signifying the promise the two of you made. he watches from afar when you put it on, trying to hide his surprise. “you still have it?”
you nod, “you don’t?”
“i do.” he assures. “i just didn’t think you’d remember it after all this time.”
you scoff playfully, walking towards him. “of course i remember,” linking your arm with his. “i remember everything.”
with that, the two of you step out of your room and down to the dining hall. they were expecting you, but not jungkook. the shock on everyone’s faces was evident. your parents, clementine, your ladies, venus, even blue. it was a good surprise though. both of your parents had to hide their big smiles behind their napkins. the staff kindly added another chair next to you for jungkook to sit down in. no one spoke up about it, if they wanted to ask, they kept their mouths shut. the two of you enjoy a delicious breakfast without any interference from any of the advisors.
but someone had to say it, and you were happy that it was going to be you.
you let out a cough before standing up, holding a glass of water and clinking your knife against it gently to grab everyone's attention. it only took a few seconds for all eyes to land on you. “jungkook and i have come to the conclusion that we will marry.” you announce.
the hall is overjoyed. cheers coming from your parents, smiles being sent your way from blue and your ladies. even the advisors, the most stern and inexpressive people you know (except for venus) crack a little smile at the news. “but—” you begin. silence quickly takes over the room. “only on jungkook and i’s terms.”
there is a bit of confusion amongst the crowd. so clementine is quick to ask, “and what are those terms, your highness?”
one. “jungkook and i will wed next year, when spring begins.”
two. “both of us will plan the wedding, with help of others, but the main parts will be orchestrated by the two of us.”
three. “there will be no talk of an heir until we are ready.”
“deal!” both yours and jungkook’s parents say as soon as you’re done talking.
“then it is settled! prince jungkook and princess ___ will wed next spring!” clementine announces to the hall and cheers erupt through the room once more.
jungkook stands and gives you a tight hug. the moment is all too perfect, the joyous chatter of everyone around you and the warm embrace of the one you love wrapped around you. it’s something you’ve dreamed of. “i won’t let you down, princess.” he promises you, in your ear, only for you to hear.
“i’ll be the best husband this world has ever seen.”
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a good husband has to be honest.
jungkook has something to tell you, and he isn’t sure how to word it. he’s scared you’ll be turned off by it. it is a pretty serious topic, so he needs to say it, or else he would feel the guilt start to build in his stomach. then before he knows it, it’ll spill all out. so it’s better to nip the bud. get it done before it becomes a bigger problem.
the two of you were having a sleepover tonight. it’s the first one you guys had since you’ve been back. jungkook brought all the fancy snacks that his mother packed along with some drinks, while you had your contraband: face masks and matching pajamas for the both of you.
he looks funny with his peel off mask drying on his face. you told him not to make any facial expressions or else it wouldn’t work. jungkook’s been pulling a straight face for ten minutes while watching elle woods destroy chutney in the courtroom.
he couldn’t have chosen a worse time to speak up about it, but it’s been eating at him for long enough. “i have to tell you something.” he says out of nowhere. you look at him, trying not to react with your face. his serious tone makes you want to burst out into laughter, it was just so out of place.
but he looks somber, like how he looks when something’s bothering him. you swallow the urge to laugh and just nod. “you can tell me while i peel this mask off your face, deal?” you ask, moving closer and picking at the edge of the mask.
you wait patiently until he spills whatever he needs to say, but he looks a little distracted by the feeling of the face mask being peeled off. he’s already nervous, he tells himself not to get side tracked. so he just spits it out. “i’m not a virgin.”
well. that was one way to start a conversation.
you try not to show your shock, but your eyebrows were already raised and now your facemask is stuck to itself. “oh— oh my god, jungkook,” you laugh, covering your mouth. “do you want a high-five or something?” you can’t hold back the laughter anymore. you raise your hand up and wait for him to reciprocate.
if you were being honest, it did make you a little jealous. you wondered who he lost it to. it was probably jieun. did he love her? enough to want to lose his virtue to her? while the questions run through your mind, he returns the high-five, taking you out of the downward spiral of queries. you weren’t angry at him. there wasn’t an agreement between the two of you that you’d take each other’s virginities. jealousy is unforgiving, because you knew there was no reason to be mad but you still felt the stupid pang in your heart.
you finish taking his mask off, expertly in one piece. jungkook waits for you as you throw it in the trash. he’s still silent, not really knowing what else to say. he was waiting for an argument, in all honesty. but you’re smiling, seemingly unaffected by his confession. “do you wanna help me take off mine?” you ask him, sitting back on the bed, facing him.
he nods, picking at the edge and trying to do exactly what you did. “you’re not upset?” he asks, pulling the mask off of your face. maybe you were, but you weren’t going to tell him. it’s in the past, what matters is now, and he’s here with you now. you couldn’t be too mad.
maybe you should be honest too. you shake your head, “of course not, i’m not a virgin either.” this conversation only proves that there was no need to hide when it came to jungkook. you admired him for speaking up about it first too, even though you aren’t exactly sure why.
jungkook successfully took your mask off in one piece as well, discarding it into the trash can. you tell him that the two of you have to wash your faces to get the tiny pieces off and he follows you into the bathroom. responding with a, “really?” and a raise of his eyebrows.
you turn the water on and splash him a little bit. “are you trying to say i’m too ugly to get laid, jeon?!” you glare.
jungkook backtracks, “no— no! you’re pretty— really pretty— i just— i didn’t know what to say.”
you roll your eyes playfully. rinsing your face with water and making sure your face is entirely clean from the mask before stepping aside and drying your face off, allowing jungkook to have his turn. “who’d you lose it to?” you asked. despite probably already knowing the answer, you just had to make sure.
“uh—” he starts, looking at you through the mirror. his eyes flicker back down to the stream of water when he answers, “jieun.”
of course. you let out a little laugh, stepping closer and nudging his side with your elbow. “congratulations, dude.” at least he told you, at least he was honest. that’s all that matters. jealousy can play it’s part later. after the sleepover.
“what about you?” jungkook asks when he finishes drying his face off. he wants to know, but at the same time he doesn’t. curiosity gets the best of everyone.
“my ex-boyfriend,” you answer nonchalantly. “min yoongi.”
“boyfriend…” he exaggerates. pursing his lips and nodding, the same jealousy you felt earlier coursing through his veins now. “that’s nice— congratulations.” he says, copying what you said. an awkward silence comes between the two of you, in turn, making the two of you laugh out loud. clutching your stomach type of laugh.
“why did you bring it up in the first place?” you question. curious as to why he would need to speak up about his sexual past.
“well, i just wanted to tell you because— i don’t know— when it happened, you were the first one i wanted to tell, and i know it’s too much information but we always talked about stuff like this— like remember when you told me when you got your first period?” he begins to ramble again. a cute habit of his.
you cringe at the mention, but you remember it so well. jungkook was so worried for you, he did all the research he could on menstrual cycles; asked his parents about it, looked online, asked his advisors, and even the doctors that come around the palace for check-ups. with all the advice he got, he showed up in front of your door with a big basket of your favorite sweets, literally every menstrual product ever produced (he wasn’t sure which one you used so he brought all), and other random things like flowers, just to be extra nice. you ended up crying in his arms because of how lovely the gesture was. it showed what kind of person jungkook was. meticulous, caring, and just so sweet.
“you’re right.” the trip down memory lane was delightful, as it always is whenever it comes to him. “but what… about us?” you asked. the question seemed random, but whenever you travel down memory lane with jungkook, you’re always reminded of the feelings that you had and still do have for jungkook. being on this topic makes you wonder: did he bring this up because he wants to have sex and wants to be transparent about how many partners he’s had?
“what do you mean? what about us?” he asks. his eyebrows are furrowed and you can tell he doesn’t understand.
the question shouldn’t have made you hesitate the way you did, but now you’re trying to find the words to backtrack. “i— um,” your smile fades a little. expecting you and jungkook to jump into a relationship was unrealistic, let alone having sex. “nothing.” you shake your head.
jungkook can somehow read your mind. he probably just picked up on context clues. “if you’re thinking about— you know— us, having sex,” he starts. “we don’t have to do anything of that sort, if you don’t want to.”
the thought is something that’s lingered in your mind for a while. same for jungkook. but neither of you will admit that. so the conversation comes to an awkward halt. you blush. “right! yeah— sure, of course.” you nod. every synonym of ‘okay’ leaves your mouth. it makes jungkook laugh, starting a domino effect and making you laugh. soon enough, the conversation was pushed aside and the two of you focused on whatever movie netflix decided to autoplay. it wasn’t long before the buzz of the tv lulled the two of you to sleep.
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“jungkook! save me!” you shout from the doors of his palace, spotting him talking to his father in the foyer. you just ran from your castle to his in hopes to outrun your chaser. jungkook’s head turns at the sound of your voice, your figure coming closer and closer.
“what? what is it?” quickly placing the papers in his hand onto the table, he rushes towards you. his face was riddled with worry as he watched you run towards him.
taking you into his arms, you hold him tightly. “venus won’t stop asking me what color the table cloths for the guests should be— please… spare me, my prince.” you fake sob into his chest.
he lets out a relieved laugh, the stress lifting away when he realized that you were just being bombarded with wedding questions again. “shouldn’t they be white?” he asks.
you look up at him in his embrace, chin against his chest, near his throat. “that’s what i said! then she started asking about the details of the cloth— like if we wanted it to be a certain type of thread, if we wanted a different colored detail woven through it— i just— why does it matter?!”
“it matters because it’s going to be the wedding of the century! now tell me, ___, white with gold detail or—” venus finally finds you after asking the guards where you went. she approaches you hurriedly and tries to shove the samples in your face, but you hide in jungkook’s chest, refusing to look at them.
“the gold detail is beautiful, venus, thank you.” jungkook answers for you. you relax against him once again. venus looks satisfied, putting her cloth samples back into her bag and walking away. with venus finally out of your hair, jungkook rubs your back gently. “wanna stay the night?” jungkook asks in your ear.
“depends.” you act like you think about it. pulling away from his embrace, looking at him with a playful glare. “do they still make those strawberry tarts i used to love?”
jungkook smiles. “i’ll ask them to bake you some right now.”
“deal.” you pinch his cheek. “hello, your majesty!” you greet his dad when you turn around. jungkook moves over to the side and tells one of his assistants to ask the kitchen to make your strawberry tarts.
jungkook’s dad gives you a bright smile. “good evening, princess.” even bowing slightly.
“you know you don’t need to do that, papa, it’s just me.” you smiled, giving him a curtsy back for the courtesy
“yes, yes, i know.” he laughs. “i’m just so glad to see you home.” opening his arms for a hug. which you move for immediately, hugging him tightly.
jungkook’s parents were always amazing to you. never making you feel unwelcome or uncomfortable. “i missed you as well, you and mama jeon always make me feel at home whenever i’m here.” you express your gratitude to him.
he holds one of your hands in his. “it is your second home, ___.”
“thank you,” you grinned. when you look down, his hands are holding an entire stack of papers. it must be something important, you excuse yourself so that they could finish their business. “i’ll see you later, papa! jungkook! i’ll be in your room!”
jungkook only gives you a thumbs up as he takes his place back next to his dad. the two of them watch as you skip your way up the stairs. your figure receding as you make it to his room when jungkook’s dad speaks up once more. “she is something else, son.” patting his back with a light laugh.
jungkook laughs too. a big smile on his face when he says, “in the best way possible.”
“agreed.” he replicates the same smile that’s on his son’s face. “i’m happy for you.”
when he looks down, his father holds out the papers to verify the marriage arrangement for him to sign. your family had already signed and his parents did too, a while ago. jungkook told them that he’ll only sign after you did. then, just after breakfast when the two of you announced your agreement to the arrangement, you signed happily. it’s a little late because jungkook’s been super busy, but now, with excitement in his heart for your future together, he scribbles his signature on the line. “thanks, dad.” he says as he hands the papers back to him.
they settle the rest of their business and finish signing some more papers. after about ten minutes, jungkook is finished with all the reading and signatures. he makes his way to the kitchen and the chefs hand him a platter of strawberry tarts on the cutest serving plate. white with little red hearts that match the strawberries. a detail that jungkook knows you’ll appreciate.
with two waters in his hand and the tarts in the other, he makes his way up the stairs. hilariously, a problem arises when jungkook needs to open the door to his room. he doesn’t wanna put the stuff down and he figures that you probably can’t hear him if he knocks because the volume of the tv is leaking through the door. in the corner of his eye, jungkook can see a guard crossing the hallway. “psst!” he calls out, hoping to get his attention. the guard passes by without a second thought. a few seconds pass and he can hear the guard take a couple steps back.
soon enough, the guard pops his head into the hallway. “everything alright, your highness?” he asks.
“yes, but— do you mind opening the door for me?” he laughs awkwardly. the guard nods and rushes over, turning the knob and sliding the door open. “thanks, man, have a good night.” he smiles at the guard.
“of course— you too, your highness.” he bows before leaving him be.
when he enters the room, you’re nowhere to be seen. the tv is on and playing some scary movie from what he can tell, the background music is eerie and quite frankly creeping him out. he sets down the waters first onto his bedside table and you come out of his bathroom at the perfect time. “there you are.” he sighs. “how are you just going to play a scary movie and then make me come into an empty room?!” he cries.
you roll your eyes playfully. “my apologies, prince, i didn’t hear you come in!” sporting a hoodie and a pair of boxers stolen from jungkook’s closet, you jump into his bed and eye the beautifully plated tarts in his grasp.
jungkook tries not to get distracted by the way you look right now. so cute in his clothes. he wonders if you caught the way that he looked you up and down. when he realizes that you’ve been staring at the tarts, he refocuses and picks up one of the pastries, holding it close to your mouth “your tarts, your majesty.” when you open to take a bite, he snatches it back quickly and takes a bite himself. his face contorted in pleasure, the treat was perfect amounts sweet and sour.
“jungkook,” you deadpanned. your straight face breaks into laughter not even a second later when he holds the bitten pastry back up to your mouth. “you literally ate half of it!”
“then eat the rest of it!” he shoots back with a laugh. you roll your eyes, taking the rest of the pastry into your mouth. in turn, your lips slightly graze against his fingers. it wasn’t helping that your eyes were looking directly into jungkook’s. it was quite obvious that there was some tension here.
neither of you knew how to address moments like this.
most of the time the two of you just act like it never happened. but they’ve just been happening a little too often these days. like that one time you and jungkook almost kissed after he helped you put on a necklace. that time you and jungkook were hiding from blue; he held his hand over your mouth and the other arm tightly around your waist so you wouldn’t move or make a noise. then now, your sex eyes peering directly into his as your lips graze his fingers. yeah… it was a hard thing to talk about.
jungkook is just as confused as you when it comes to whatever the two of you were. just best friends? engaged but friends? dating? no, that wouldn’t be right. jungkook should ask you to be his girlfriend, er— fiancee, right? just because the two of you are arranged to be married doesn’t mean the two of you go from best friends to a pair of lovers just like that, even with requited feelings.
communication wasn’t a hard thing for the two of you. being best friends for twenty years does that to you. fights, the silent treatment, and even that one period of time where you swore that you’d never talk to jungkook ever again; you guys have been through it all.
it’s just that— neither of you really know how to go about it. this conversation was awkward. maybe it’s just not time to talk about it yet, jungkook thought. you were so busy these days. your advisors would pull you away from him before he even got a word in.
then when you two do get the time to spend with each other, the both of you are usually exhausted from the days you’ve had. even though the wedding was an entire year away, there was way more planning than either of you expected. everyone wants it to be perfect. which is nice in hindsight, but it does get annoying sometimes. like how venus was hounding you earlier for the choice of table cloths.
so the two of you just ignore it for now. maybe when it becomes more of a problem, you’ll talk about it with each other. but for now, it’s just something neither of you are ready to face. you chew and swallow the rest of the tart while jungkook moves into the bathroom to get ready for bed. giving the both of you enough time to calm down and gather your thoughts.
when he comes back out, you’ve eaten at least three more strawberry tarts and started a new movie. another scary one. jungkook doesn’t understand how you can watch these kinds of things before you go to sleep, it’s like you’re immune to nightmares or something.
but you weren’t immune to feeling tired. just before jungkook joins you in bed, you let out a yawn before stretching your limbs a little bit.
“tired?” jungkook asks, pulling the comforter over his legs.
you nod, “a little.”
he smiles. “it’s late,” he nods to the clock on his night stand. one in the morning. “sleep, you did a lot of work today.”
“i know,” you groan. “just one more bite.” trying to fit an entire strawberry tart into your mouth was a bad decision. the pastry crumbled into your throat and had you choking for a minute.
jungkook comes to the rescue with your glass of water and a hand rubbing circles against your back. “alright, alright.” he laughs. “no more tarts— go to sleep, princess.”
when you’ve come down from your coughing fit, you nod before you tell him that you’re going to call seungyeon and jimin. “let me just update them about the wedding planning— they’re gonna laugh about everything, i just know it!”
“it’s supposed to be a secret, princess.” jungkook shakes his head, watching as your hands pull out your phone at lightning speed.
“oh… really?” you pause, “i’ve been telling them everything since we’ve started.” jungkook only laughs. he could never be mad at that, why wouldn’t you wanna share something like this with your friends?
“just make sure your advisors don’t find out, okay?” he holds his pinky up for a classic promise, which you reciprocate.
the next fifteen minutes or so, jungkook acts like he isn’t listening to your conversation as he immerses himself into the storyline of this movie, it was interesting but not as interesting as the way you tell them about the wedding. you sound so excited, telling seungyeon that you’re gonna have to go dress shopping soon and that you want her to be there and everything. it makes jungkook smile. it’s more back and forth between the two of you, seungyeon saying of course she’ll be there and you saying that she better because you’re sending a jet to her. it was quite funny.
then seungyeon’s voice rings over the line, updating you about how jimin’s prepping for his big dance recital on saturday and how much they miss you.
you wish you could go to support him. jimin’s been dancing for as long as he’s lived. he’s so passionate about it and you admire him for it. he talked your ear off about how excited he was about this performance. that the crowd is going to be the biggest he’s ever performed for and how scouts will be in the audience. you wished you could go.
the way your voice shakes isn’t something you can hide very well. over the phone it may pass off as a breath you took too long to breathe in, but in person, jungkook can hear the way that your voice gives way to the tears building in your eyes. “tell him i wish him the best of luck.”
“of course,” she answers. “oh! and i was able to take some pictures when we went into the city, you remember all those hole-in-the-wall spots, right? turns out they’re great for photography!”
not long after, you received an email notification. containing the pictures that seungyeon took and they were beautiful. the city's night lights make everything look so cool, like a movie.
you miss the city. you miss your friends.
“they’re gorgeous,” you tell her. scrolling through picture after picture. seungyeon rambles more about a new restaurant they found that she hopes to bring you (and jungkook) to when they have the chance. jungkook could see the way that your energy changed. you’re sad now. he can feel it. he knows you miss the city. the way you slowly scroll through the pictures, longing to be there instead of having to look at a picture of it through a screen.
the gears in his head turn. a plan has already been set into motion for a date between the two of you. yugyeom, taehyung, and eunwoo have all been trying to pitch in, give him ideas as to where to go, what to do. but jungkook thinks he knows exactly what to do. he wanted to do this right.
so that next morning, jungkook makes an important phone call after retrieving the phone number from namjoon.
“hello, jimin? this is jungkook…”
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it’s already been a week and a half since you and jungkook agreed to an arranged marriage. you’ve only been able to see him five out of the twelve days. busy was an understatement. venus said there is too much to do and that even a year isn’t enough time to get everything done. it seems like an exaggeration, in your opinion. sure, a wedding was a lot of work, but did you really need to be there to confirm everything?
maybe venus will let you have a break one of these days. you don’t suspect it to be anytime soon. today, you were told to wake up early (six in the morning type of early) and get dressed. no one told you exactly why, but you listened and once you were ready, made your way to the briefing room.
when you push the big doors open, venus eyes you suspiciously. “princess, what are you doing here? we are not wedding planning today.”
you furrow your eyebrows. “then what are we doing?”
“you are going on a plane, something about a political appearance.” she winks. walking your way and weaving her arm through yours to lead you out.
“already? mother said appearances weren’t for another month!” you groaned.
“sorry, princess.” she laughs. “your bags are being packed as we speak, just go freshen up and we’ll meet jungkook and blue at the royal runway.”
“got it.” you assure her. ah, such a good kid. venus thinks. you don’t even question the random political appearance and just accept it at face value. she knows you’ll be surprised. you don’t even suspect a thing!
after maybe ten minutes, you walk with venus down to the runway and meet up with the boys. jungkook seems a little nervous. he’s doing that thing where he shifts his weight on his feet. “you okay?” you ask him.
“yeah! yeah— why wouldn’t i be?” jungkook answers. a smile that’s way too bright is displayed on his face. you suspect it’s just nerves for the speech he’s probably gonna have to do.
“if you’re nervous, just remember i’ll be right there next to you, yeah?” you assure him. gently taking his hand into yours.
jungkook is suddenly reminded why he shouldn’t be so damn nervous. because it’s you. he gets to be with you. to marry you. of course, he wants it to be perfect, that’s why he keeps going over everything in his head, making sure he’s got everything down. but it’s you. his best friend. when he looks at you, his nerves are at ease. that burning feeling in his chest dies down and his throat no longer feels like closing in on itself.
he lets out a breath. “ready?”
you nod, “where are we going anyway? venus never told me.” stepping up into the aircraft and taking your seat, jungkook and blue follow suit.
“i think we’re going to gotia, right, blue?” jungkook answers, turning his head to namjoon. his face directly telling him to go along with it.
“yes, your highness, gotia.” namjoon smiles brightly.
your eyebrows knit together. they’re acting weird again. “alright…” you say, suspicious of them already. “wake me up when we’re there.”
apparently, you were exhausted. you slept through the entire plane ride and it was a fifteen hour plane ride. namjoon said you did this the last time too. only waking up to eat and talk briefly before falling asleep again. it was a great time for namjoon and jungkook to gather blackmail photos for themselves as your sleeping faces are unbeatable. even when you land, you don’t wake up. jungkook isn’t gonna be the one to wake you up, so he gently lifts you up, bridal style. you don’t even bother opening your eyes, you just cuddle into his further. jungkook was always so warm, and so strong. he carries you into a car and lets you continue sleeping there, with your head on his shoulder.
after about twenty minutes of traffic, you finally decide to open your eyes. suddenly conscious of the way that jungkook’s hand is intertwined with yours. you don’t mind, his hand felt nice in yours. with sleep-riddled eyes, you look outside the window to see city infrastructure; which is not very common in gotia. gotia is a green mountain country, known particularly for their abundance of livestock and green grass.
you give them the benefit of doubt, perhaps you guys were just going somewhere in gotia that you’ve never been before. so you ask, “where exactly in gotia are we going?”
jungkook smiles. a very mischievous smile. “you’ll see when we get there, princess, don’t worry.”
hm, suspicious. this time you sit up, the seat belt digging into your belly when you push forward to lean against the front seat. “blue, where are we going?” you ask your trusty body guard.
“i am just following directions, your highness.” he tells you with a tight grin.
you were already suspicious during the plane ride, and now since neither jungkook or namjoon want to tell you where you’re going; you’re starting to put the pieces together. they’re gonna make you play that game where blue drops you and jungkook off in a random location and the two of you have to figure out where to go from there. and from your own experience: it sucks! so you scoff. “you guys are kidnapping me! hand me my phone, i am calling my father.” holding your hand out with your palm facing up. both of them laugh, jungkook places his hand on yours instead of giving you your phone.
“just wait a little longer, princess.” jungkook tells you as he intertwines your fingers together.
another few minutes and you’re still unsure of where you are, the dark tint of the windows is only adding onto the difficulty to spot the exact location. blue stops abruptly and turns to the two of you, “i was told to let you off here.” he says. the street is empty, but somewhat familiar. you weren’t able to get another look before jungkook covered your eyes.
“it’s a surprise, close your eyes.” he says. out of habit, you close your eyes, giving your trust to jungkook. jungkook steps out of the car first and then the door to the left of you opens. you keep your eyes closed and scoot out of the car with jungkooks’ help. he helps you out and onto the ground where he leads you somewhere onto the sidewalk.
“can i open my eyes now?” you ask, still squeezing your eyes shut.
“in a sec,” jungkook promises. bringing you a little further, you can hear him open a door and feel him lead you inside. “you can open your eyes now, we have to go up some stairs first.” he tells you.
when you open your eyes, you’re in a staircase with carpeted floors and metal railings. it looks fancy. the two of you make it up the stairs and you still can’t tell where the hell you are before jungkook tells you to close your eyes again. he opens another door and leads you out, leading you through a curtain you can feel. now you can hear some noise, quiet bickers of a crowd of people. it had to be hundreds of people out there.
you hear jungkook sit down beside you before he speaks up once more, “okay, open.”
scared, you only open your right eye just a peek. from the image, there’s an entire crowd below you. you’re in a theater of some sort. no, wait— it’s not just some theater, it’s the theater. the one that jimin’s performing at! that’s when your eyes shoot open. you’re back in the city, with jungkook by your side, about to watch your best friends’ performance.
“no way.” you spoke quietly, facing jungkook. he only smiles at you, holding your hand in his. “did you really do this for me?” the two of you sat in the highest box seat, jimin called them ‘the rich people seats.’ no one can really see you from here and you had one of the best views; it was perfect.
it was just so thoughtful. he must have noticed how homesick you were feeling, how much you yearned to see your friends again. this is the best gift you could have ever received. you’re not even sure what to say, and jungkook understands. he doesn’t expect any thank you’s or a major display of affection. he’s just happy that you’re happy.
when the lights dim and the music begins to play, you can’t help but feel the tears start to build in your eyes. “thank you, jungkook, so much.” you pull yourself close to him, laying your head on his shoulder.
“of course, princess.” he tells you, wrapping his arm around your waist to pull you in closer. “anything for you.”
with that, a tear falls and the curtains are drawn. revealing jimin standing in position with a beautiful dark forest background, performing his black swan routine. one of his longest and most physically intensive choreography he’s ever made. but it’s so damn gorgeous. he performs flawlessly and receives a standing ovation. you couldn’t have been any happier for him.
during the extended applause, jungkook stands up pulls you along, through another carpeted hallway. “wait— where are we going?” you ask him. his other hand holds a bouquet that literally came out of nowhere. “and where did you get those flowers?!”
“we’re gonna see jimin!” he tells you as he maneuvers through the never ending hallways. “oh, and i hid these— so you could give them to jimin.”
the two of you stop just before another door, you pull him back gently. “what? people are going to see us, jungkook, we aren’t allowed to be outside of the kingdom without proper guards.”
“no one will see us, i promise, jimin will meet us here in this room.” he tells you. the both of you peek through the door window, it was an empty practice room. the door on the other side of the room opens and it’s the cue that it’s safe to come in. “ready?” he asks, holding the flowers out for you to take.
you start crying again, it was immediate. jungkook wipes the tears away quickly, “don’t cry, princess.” he places a sweet kiss on your forehead before he hands you the bouquet and opens the door for you.
then there in the middle of the room stands your best friend. his arms open for a hug and you run into them. crying even harder when you realize that jimin is crying too, you can hear the way he sniffles. “why are you crying?! you did amazing!” you sob.
“because you’re here and everything went perfectly— it’s just overwhelming.” he admits, pulling back from the hug. the two of you laugh at your crying faces.
“congratulations, jimin.” you tell him, holding out the flowers for him.
“thank you, ___.” he accepts them with a smile, wiping his tears and turning his attention to jungkook, who stands at the door as a lookout. “jungkook—! oh crap, wait— should i call him majesty or highness or something?” jimin’s quickly tries to correct himself, asking you for advice.
you can only laugh and shake your head. “you can just call him jungkook.”
“i was called?” jungkook stands just behind you, with a smile on his face.
“yeah, man— come here.” jimin embraces him in a hug and jungkook doesn’t object it.
rubbing his back, jungkook congratulates him as well. “you’re incredibly talented, jimin.” he smiles when he pulls away. “it’s great to finally meet you in person.”
“thank—”
“jimin! it’s curtain call!” a lady barges into the practice room. she stands speechless for a second, her eyes darting straight to jungkook. “wait, is that prince jungkook?!” all of you are wide eyed. jimin’s mouth is silently telling you two to ‘run!’ before you knew it, she was pulling out her phone, trying to take a picture.
jimin is quick to block the camera as he shouts. “go! hurry!” the two of you rush out of the door you came from. you and jungkook bolt back to the car, blue is a little startled when you both jump in, breathless.
“everything alrig—“
“drive!” you demanded.
“shit— alright!” blue complies and steps on the gas, getting you out of the parking spot behind the theater and now onto the streets of the city.
now that everyone’s calmed down. you just realized that you, again, have no idea where you were going. “now where are we off to? it’s about eleven o’clock, right?”
“go with the plan, blue.” jungkook tells him. with the creepy wording, you begin to feel more suspicion around the two of them. what more surprises could there be?
the three of you spent another fifteen or so minutes of driving, and quite frankly you were tired of looking for little landmarks to pinpoint where you were. just as you were about to ask again, blue stops the car and looks at jungkook.
“okay, another surprise— close your eyes.” jungkook says. you can’t help but admit this is kind of fun. sure, you were annoying the hell out of the boys for the past fifteen minutes asking when you were gonna get there and where you were going. but they love you either way.
you keep your eyes squeezed shut as jungkook helps you out of the car and onto another sidewalk. “just a little further.” he says, leading you closer to whatever it was. just before he speaks again, you hear a little jingle. “okay, open.”
when your eyes finally adjust to the city lights, you recognize the building entirely too well. a place that you lived for five years. “is this— are we— no way!” you stutter, purely out of surprise. you were sure that you weren’t going to see this place for at least another decade.
you stand there speechless, just like how you did at jimin’s recital, for a good minute or so. jungkook has to wave his hand in front of your face to break you out of the trance.
“so, are you gonna show me your apartment or not?” jungkook grins, holding up your cutely decorated keychain. you squeal in excitement as he hands you the keys and you drag him into the building. it’s only been about a month and a half since you’ve last seen it, but it feels so nostalgic. it feels special. you suspect it’s because of the man whose hand you’re holding right now.
up the elevator and to the left, the apartment labeled with a silver plated 101 beckons you inside. soon enough, you’re pulling jungkook through the door and giving him a detailed tour of your shoe closet that is right there when you walk in.
as the two of you walk around, it’s cleaner than you remember. venus must have gotten people to tidy the place up after you left. just as you finish the very short tour of your apartment, you remember that you’d left some things from jimin and seungyeon in your room. “make yourself at home, my prince, i’ll just be in my room, collecting some things.” you excuse yourself and let jungkook look around some more.
if jungkook were honest, he would have told you that he got a bit of whiplash from your tour. he was turning every two seconds because you were speaking so fast. you were just so excited, and jungkook couldn’t have been happier. everything was going exactly as planned. the clock was ticking and jungkook did have a schedule to be on, but there was nothing wrong with a little snooping around your apartment. he wanted to see the place that you called home for the past five years.
your couch looks cozy, blankets on one side with decorative pillows to adorn the piece of furniture. your coffee table is cute too. you’ve got good taste. everything just seems so you. so when jungkook turns toward the bookcase you mentioned earlier into your tour. it was crowded with books, photo albums, cd’s, and records. a specific photo album catches his eyes, a cute light blue album. on the spine it was labeled: ‘jjk’ and from what jungkook knows, it must be his initials.
it’s when he opens it is when he confirms. the album is full of pictures of the two of you when you were kids, at every festival, from infant to teens. flipping through the pages, both of your smiles never changed. over the years; in both of your eyes, the certain glimmer of love shines so brightly. he puts it back with a soft smile after he’s flipped through all the pages. another book catches his eyes, your favorite fairy tale story: hansel and gretel. while everyone made fun of your choice of story, jungkook thought it was cool. you were all about safety and stranger danger, therefore making hansel and gretel a good story for kids to read (in your opinion.) you always read it when you needed to make an important decision, you called it a comfort read. it helped you get into the right mindset, think about all the pros and especially the cons of the decision you were about to make.
jungkook was only going to look at it and flip through the pages mindlessly. but when he pulls it out of its place in the bookshelf, two envelopes fall out from between the pages. squatting down, he picks up the fallen pieces of paper and coincidentally, sees his name on one of the letters. the other is blank, just a plain envelope. if it was addressed to him, then it means it was meant for him, therefore, he could read it… right?
jungkook,
if you are reading this, then that means i’ve already left for the city.
first, i wanted to apologize: for everything. for not telling you that i would leave sooner, for leaving you, for not telling you how i felt.
i was scared terrified that i would ruin our friendship if i ever told you, but now, since i don’t know if i’ll ever come back. i need to get this off my chest.
i’ve wanted to tell you this for the longest time.
jeon jungkook, i am in love with you.
i’m sorry this is how you had to find out, i’m sorry i didn’t have the courage to tell you in person.
but i love you, and i think i always will.
i hope you will be happy, whoever you marry. i hope they love you the way you deserve.
i hope to be at your wedding when i hear the news.
i’m sorry again.
sincerely,
___
easily, his eyes gloss over. you’ve loved him all along. he should have known. how could he have not known? thoughts run through his mind at hundreds of miles an hour; what would have happened if you did give this to him when you left. he probably would have gotten on the next plane out and searched the city to find you. probably would have done the exact same thing he did recently, beg you to give the two of you a chance. he shakes his head, sliding the letter back into its envelope. reading the other letters wouldn’t hurt, right?
of course not, he tells himself. he was always so nosy. the blank envelope held multiple pieces of paper. most of them were unfinished confessions to him, smudged black ink with multiple sentences crossed off. from what he can count, you wanted to confess to him at least five times now.
jungkook isn’t sure how he feels, he just knows how in love he is. this feeling of being surrounded by warmth, it’s enough to make a tear slip out. he can’t help but smile either. this is the boost of confidence he needed for tonight. he was so nervous before, that everything would go terribly wrong, but now he’s just so… content, so happy. he wanted to hug you, kiss you, everything. so he puts the envelopes back into the book, places it back into the shelf and makes his way to your room. your body hovers over your vanity, digging through your jewelry box.
“my princess.” jungkook pouts even though you can’t see him. coming from behind, he hugs you tightly and rests his head against yours. he tries to hide the way that his tears began to tear up. you look up from your tangle of necklaces, turning and taking him into your arms.
“are you crying?” the single tear that rolls down his cheek grabs your attention. your hand immediately coming up to wipe it away. “what’s wrong? do you hate my little apartment that much?” you let out a laugh.
he laughs too, shaking his head with a smile. “your little apartment is perfect— i love it actually, i love you.”
“aw,” you mumble against his chest. “i love you too, even though you’re acting super weird.” the two of you stand there, swaying in a hug for a little longer.
“am not.” he rests his chin atop your head.
“whatever you say.” you hum, pulling him towards your prized possession— your queen sized bed. the two of you plop on top, your fluffy comforter proving to be one of the best purchases you have ever made in your entire life. the two of you lay there in silence for a little bit, you almost fall asleep due to how warm jungkook is.
“as much as i would love to cuddle and take a nap in your bed, we’re on a tight schedule— c’mon.” jungkook says as he stands from your bed, pulling you up.
“a schedule?” you quirk an eyebrow. “what else are we gonna do in the city? our faces are plastered all over the internet, not to mention you’re the most-thirsted-after prince in the entire world.” you ask as he tugs you through the hallway and back into the living room.
“can you show me the roof?” jungkook asks. a sly smile on his face, while you’re still completely clueless.
“of course!” you squeal, excited to show him the amazing view of the city the roof of your building has. the two of you exit your apartment and you pull him up another two flights of stairs. “usually it’s kind of dirty, so don’t mind the mess.” you warn before opening the heavy door.
but when you push it open, the roof is…clean. it’s decorated too. it’s not the same as you last saw it. “huh— would you look at that?” jungkook steps out onto the roof first, with his hands on his hips as he looks back at you. “it looks pretty clean— and look! it’s set up for dinner...?” he acts surprised. his eyebrows raised as the two of you walk towards the dinner table. he pulls out the chair for you to sit down and you can’t help but let out a little laugh.
“so this was your plan.” you snort. dinner was in the shape of cups of ice cream. it was adorable. “ice cream for dinner?”
jungkook nods, handing you a tiny spoon for the ice cream. “your favorite.”
he did all of this for me. you realize the effort. he must have gone through meticulous planning and conspiring all of this in secret. he’s good. really good. god, you could kiss him.
the two of you sit there in the ambiance of the late city night, eating ice cream and having a small conversation. whenever the conversation paused, you could hear some music playing quietly in the back.
jungkook really did deserve the mantle of prince charming. king of romance. ruler of your heart.
“do you hear that?” jungkook asks, holding a hand out next to his ear. a familiar tune playing from wherever the music was. standing up, he extends his grasp for you to take. “a dance, princess?”
“you know i have two left feet.” you try to decline him, remembering how taehyung teased you about the way that you tripped over his feet when the two of you danced at your welcome home party. but jungkook doesn’t mind. he loves dancing with you, always has. he loves the way that your feet crash into his, how focused you get when you try not to get the moves wrong. he wanted to waltz with you everywhere, even if you stood on his feet the entire time.
“just follow me, alright?” he smiles. giving in, you take his hand and the two of you make your way to the middle of the rooftop. the night sky bearing witness to one of the most romantic things you’ve ever received. you feel his hand wrap around your waist, guiding you to step where he does.
“sparks, huh?” you smile, finally putting a title on the song playing. “kind of a sad song to dance to.” following his moves, dancing does seem a little easier with jungkook there.
“i thought it was perfect.” he states, leading you in for a twirl and then back into his arms. “it explains exactly how i feel about you.
“yeah?” you look up to him. even in this faint lighting, the abandoned flickering light bulbs that hang from strings all across the rooftop from an old tenant party, he still shines so bright.
he nods. the two of you silently sway for another few beats of the song. you lay your head against his chest, the beat of his heart is as calming as the music in the back. maybe if you just leave your eyes closed, this moment could last forever.
meanwhile, jungkook is trying to amp himself up to get these words out. another confession and an important question sits heavy on his tongue. he knows you feel the same, knows that you’ll accept, but he’s still so nervous. what if you don’t say yes and he’s left there with his knee against the rough concrete floor? what if this was just too cheesy for you and you hate it?
jungkook tells himself there’s only one way to find out.
“i— can i tell you something?” he asks. you lift your head away and look in his eyes, they greet you with that sweet eye smile that hasn’t changed in all the days you’ve known him.
“of course.” you pull yourself back, holding his hands.  
“when you were gone...i was always afraid that i was romanticizing you— i had nothing but our memories and the small talks we would have sometimes through our parents,” he admits. “i was scared that i was in love with the idea of you, and not… you— you know?”
his confession makes you stop in your tracks, clear disbelief on your face as you drop his hands from your grasp. “what?! jungkook— why are you telling me this now?” you groan, folding your arms over your chest. you move to grab your phone to find a way to reverse this. “you know what— it’s not too late to cancel the engagement and call up the king of fenutar— i’m sure they’ll forgive you— yeah, let’s give them a call—”
he pulls you back gently, “princess, relax.” he laughs. “i was just getting started.”
your gaze softens, letting him finish his point as he restarts the sway. your feet move with his, slowly to the beat of the song playing in the back. it’s changed to something calmer, from what you could hear, it sounds like cigarettes after sex.
“this past month, ever since you came back—” he starts up once more. you attention falling back onto him instead of the music in the back. “i don’t know what it is, but i think i was wrong.” he says. you gently furrow your eyebrows. confused as to what he means. jungkook brings his hand up to your face, cupping your jaw before raising his thumb to soothe the creases in your forehead.
relaxing your muscles under his touch, he lowers his hands back down to hold your hands. he says the next words, staring straight into your eyes. “i love you, i always want to be around you, i wonder if you are alright— if you’re sad, because i want to be there for you, i want to take care of you.” your hands are pulled close to him, enough for him to be able to gently press a kiss against your knuckles. “i want to be by your side, against foes seen and unseen.”
“so—“ he lets go of your hand to pull a tiny white box out from his pocket and gets on one knee. “will you marry me?”
the rough ground against his clothed knee doesn’t matter anymore when he sees the sweetest smile on your face. everything is perfect.
you let out a little laugh, your smile going from ear to ear. “yes! of course— yes, yes!” tears collect in your eyes quickly. holding your arms out for him, jungkook comes up and collects your embrace. a tear slips out and he can hear your sniffle. gently, he wipes the tear away, and the two of you stare at each other just long enough. long enough to understand that this was the time.
you both lean forward and finally, let your lips connect. a kiss seals the fate of both hearts involved.
dreaming of this moment ever since you were fifteen has given you quite high expectations for it, but jungkook always exceeds expectations. even when you think he couldn’t be anymore perfect, he always has something up his sleeve. it shows in the way his kiss is gentle, but so passionate. transferring his love to you in the most efficient way possible.
jungkook is in dreamland almost. wonders if this is what being on drugs is like. pure euphoria. knows that this is what love stories are based off of. pure adoration. fears what he’ll do if he won’t be able to kiss you. the beginning of an addiction. your lips, they take him prisoner.
slowly, the two of you pull away and stare at each other like love sick puppies. jungkook holds your face in his hand as you lean into his grasp. the sound of confetti poppers startle you, flinching at the noise before looking to see what happened. through the rain of confetti, you can see all of them. seungyeon, jimin, blue, taehyung, eunwoo, and yugyeom. you didn’t think it could get any better. you were so happy.
“congratulations, your majesties.” blue moves forward after the confetti settles and hands the two of you a purple rose. the national flower of raemor and it was a common tradition to give engaged couples raemors for good luck all throughout their relationship and marriage. you thank blue with a hug and so does jungkook. jimin and seungyeon also congratulate you, seungyeon pulls out her camera and shows you the pictures she took while she was hidden with everyone behind the huge skylights.
eunwoo takes hold of your hand gently, raising the ring up for everyone to see. jimin and seungyeon also come close to get a better look, holding your arm still. “that rock is adorable, jungkook.” he pats him on the back. making slight fun of the stones size. everyone in the kingdom was used to huge gems, rings that would weigh down the finger of the wearer. you give eunwoo a light shove.
the ring was your style. it was actually really thoughtful too. there were conversations where you and jungkook would gossip about the adults sometimes, you knew everything back then. who was cheating on who, whose wives knew about the mistress, whose husbands knew about the paramour. then most of the time, they would solve it through money. buying bigger, more expensive material things to woo them, to make them forget the betrayals. you hated it. you specifically remember telling jungkook that you’d rather have a small ring and a great love, instead of a big ring and a loveless marriage.
so when you stare at the pretty gem laid on your ring finger, you realize it’s just more evidence that jungkook listens, and he takes your words into account. you couldn’t have been happier with the piece of jewelry. “i think it’s beautiful.” you pout in defense of the ring.
“it’s a red diamond.” namjoon tells them. “one of the rarest diamonds in the world.”
“how much is it?” yugyeom peers at the ring as well, he likes the way it sparkles even without the light.
“it doesn’t matter!” you groan, looking at jungkook for some help as four different people have your hand in their grasp.
“the diamond itself is roughly about five million— the rest of the ring, i can’t say.” namjoon shrugs nonchalantly.
jimin and seungyeon gasp at the same time, same pitch. both yugyeom and eunwoo’s eyes almost bulge out of their sockets. “sorry man— i thought it was a ruby.” eunwoo scratches the back of his head. jungkook only laughs at the conversation, not taking any of it to heart, along with taehyung (and chaeyoung!) who helped him customize the ring in the first place.
“five million?! are you serious?” you turn to him, about to scold him for wasting his money. just for an engagement ring too?!
he catches your hand before you can shove him like you did eunwoo. he brings it to his mouth, kissing your ring finger gently. before coming close to your ear, he whispers, “it’s worth way more than five million.”
“jungkook!”
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taglist: @kookxin @fan-ati--c
282 notes · View notes
goodnightmemes · 3 years ago
Text
DEXTER SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS (PART TWO)
Lines taken from 2x07-2x12 of the show Dexter. Feel free to change pronouns or edit in any way to better fit your needs. Here is part one.
❛ I thrive on chaos. But this is good, too. ❜
❛ I had to do a little creative problem-solving at someone else's expense. ❜
❛ Pardon my tits. ❜
❛ Are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire? ❜
❛ Sometimes the truth speaks from a peaceful place. It's taken me a long time to find that place, but I think I have, and it's telling me you're not the right one for me. I'm so sorry. ❜
❛ Is that what I am? Clean? 'cause I don't feel that way at all. ❜
❛ No, I won't do that. I won't let you turn me into you. ❜
❛ Hope you don't expect me to comment on that so you can record it on your hidden tape recorder. I wasn't born yesterday. ❜
❛ Your past is a bigger mystery than fucking Jimmy Hoffa. ❜
❛ No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason. I own you. ❜
❛ When I'm alone and it's quiet, I get scared shitless, like I start hearing what's really going on inside. ❜
❛ 'Cause when you're around, I kind of feel like I can deal with anything, you know? ❜
❛ I've always worked best in the shadows, and that's where I have to stay. ❜
❛ You can't go back. You know that. ❜
❛ You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing little Miss "pardon my tits." ❜
❛ She is obviously a vampire. A gross english-titty vampire. ❜
❛ Can't change who I am. I'm crass and dirty, and...I have a very filthy mind. ❜
❛ Jesus Christ. They sell anyone a gun in Florida, won't they? ❜
❛ That man. He wasn't trying to rob you. He was trying to kill you. ❜
❛ Nothing you could do,___, would scare me. ❜
❛ Whatever comes, we'll get through this together. I'm not leaving your side. ❜
❛ I need to embrace who I am, who I've always been. ❜
❛ It's like I've been living underwater, holding my breath, and now I can finally breathe. ❜
❛ ___ almost had me believing it was possible to change, to become something else, as if that ever really happens. I've always known what I am. ❜
❛ I'm finding it's best to accept things you can't change, you know? ❜
❛ Is this the monster that you keep telling me about? ❜
❛ Trust me, when you meet the monster, you'll know. ❜
❛ Nice. My subconscious isn't even bothering with symbolism. ❜
❛ I feel...such regret, which is rare for me. But not that I don't mess up. I do...just never so stupendously. ❜
❛ If they're looking for proof, they won't find it. Not here at least. ❜
❛ Then maybe you should come with us, because who knows what secrets will come ❜ pouring out of me once the drinks start flowing. ❜
❛ I'm done with it and you. Did I not make that clear last night? ❜
❛ Those friends of yours, they didn't even know you. They just see the mask, but I see it all. ❜
❛ Can't live with her. Can't kill her. ❜
❛ Fuck! I'm talking about my feelings. What the fuck is your problem? ❜
❛ I've always sensed there was something... off about him. Like he's hiding in plain sight. ❜
❛ If you got in the middle of this and you got hurt… ❜
❛ The only way I can help you is if you turn yourself in. ❜
❛ Don't you disappear on me. ❜
❛ I want you to know that you meant a lot to me, more than you know, and... I just want to thank you for that. ❜
❛ If I never see her again, it'll be too soon. ❜
❛ Sleep would be nice, but there's too much to do. ❜
❛ Okay, I may be sleeping with him, but it doesn't mean he tells me shit or listens to me about anything, so stop asking! ❜
❛ That's right, motherfucker! It's over. ❜
❛ I knew there was something with you. But this shit? ❜
❛ What can I say? You were right about me. I never held it against you. I don't now. ❜
❛ It's a graze wound. Minor tissue abrasion. No hemorrhage along the bullet track. Sorry. I think I'm gonna live. ❜
❛ If you're not gonna let me go, then kill me now. Just get it over with. ❜
❛ You're a killer. I catch killers. ❜
❛ So it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it? ❜
❛ Either kill me or set me free. ❜
❛ Taking a life is one thing, but the care and feeding of it is another. ❜
❛ I'm generally confused most of the time. ❜
❛ You ever care about anyone? Then you shouldn't have to ask. 'Cause when you care about someone, you do what you have to do. ❜
❛ I remember when life was easy, when the only question I worried about was "who's next?" Now it's: "How can I dodge my protective detail? "What should I do with my hostage?" These are not easy questions. ❜
❛ It's not about what I think. It's all about the evidence. ❜
❛ Hair-pulling may not be manly, but it's very effective. ❜
❛ If he wanted me dead, I'd be dead by now. ❜
❛ You are the only one I can count on, jackass. ❜
❛ It puts a pit in my stomach that I can only interpret as... sadness. ❜
❛ You working on an exit strategy? I'm afraid that's not gonna happen. ❜
❛ How come there's never a circus when you need one? ❜
❛ What was that shit last night? Some kind of fucking scare tactic? ❜
❛ Don't test me. I could have killed you. I didn't. ❜
❛ You're actually angry. I've never seen you angry. This is good. ❜
❛ I should warn you. You can't play on my feelings. I don't have any. ❜
❛ It's a tough job. It can wear on even the best of us. ❜
❛ I yell a lot...and bitch and complain, and I keep expecting people to guess what I want, but I never really say it. ❜
❛ And that was exciting, you know? The not knowing. What might happen, what could be. It was all possibility. ❜
❛ Your life is going to rest in the hands of the criminal justice system you put all your faith in. I wish you the best of luck. ❜
❛ You need help. Let me help you. ❜
❛ You don't have to do this! You don't have to kill this man! ❜
❛ Sorry it had to go down like this. But there really was no other way. ❜
❛ Stay away. Just stay away from me. ❜
❛ Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point? ❜
❛ There's that anger again. You got to let that out. ❜
❛ You're spinning. Let me help you. It's only a matter of time before you'll hurt someone else. ❜
❛ Take responsibility for who you are. ❜
❛ Why can't you just let me go? ❜
❛ If I got to choose a person... A real person... to be like, out of anyone, it'd be you. ❜
❛ Who joined who in the shower this morning? ❜
❛ For such a neat monster, I'm making an awfully big mess. ❜
❛ Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches. ❜
❛ I've been held prisoner in a cabin for two fucking days. Fucking hellhole. ❜
❛ After everything we've been through lately, I just want... to be together with you guys. ❜
❛ You told me to take responsibility for what I am. You were right. ❜
❛ I can't live in this house of cards anymore, waiting for it all to fall down. I need to do something, you know? ❜
❛ If I do this, I need a day to get my affairs in order. ❜
❛ Mention that when they interview you for the story of my life. ❜
❛ Don't leave me in this cage, anything could happen. ❜
❛ I lie to everyone I know... except my victims right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. ❜
❛ Sorry about the cage. ❜
❛ I've always been curious to try. Do you have any weed? ❜
❛ Love's a battlefield. Or in your case, a restraining order. ❜
❛ When a pretty girl smiles and bats her eyelashes, we're powerless to resist. ❜
❛ I met with a lawyer yesterday. He helped me prepare a living trust that gives you control of all my assets in the event of my death or... certain other situations. ❜
❛ God. Go away. This is creepy. ❜
❛ I'm free tonight, you wanna stop by? We'll have beer, a couple of steaks? I wanna talk to you about something. ❜
❛ I just need you to know that... you and the kids are very important to me. No matter what happens, I want you to always know that. ❜
❛ I know I've been taking things slow with us, but it's not because I don't have feelings for you. It's more like I have too many feelings, and I just wanna make sure to get it right. ❜
❛ I want you gone. Tonight. ❜
❛ I've spent a lifetime keeping up my guard, watching my back, wearing my mask. Relief was never in sight until now. ❜
❛ Lately, I was starting to feel like I had my head pretty far up my ass. ❜
❛ You decide who you are, who you want to be...and you hold onto that and ride it out. ❜
❛ I need some help! Just open the door! I'm being held captive. ❜
❛ Damn, it's good to see another face. I never thought I would. ❜
❛ When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. ❜
❛ If you believe that God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve. ❜
❛ I can't exactly feel their pain, but I can appreciate it. ❜
❛ I kinda forgot who I was. I got it straight now. ❜
❛ The term is homicidal maniac. Not that I'm judging. ❜
❛ A public place. You thought I was gonna...That I would slip my needle into your neck? ❜
❛ You're afraid of me now, aren't you? ❜
❛ You're emotionally color-blind. You use the right words, you pantomime the right behavior, but feelings never come to pass. ❜
❛ You know the dictionary definition of emotions: longing, joy, sorrow...You have no idea of what any of those things actually feel like. ❜
❛ I created a monster of my own. ❜
❛ What did you do to make her so pathetically crazy for you? Does your dick dance? ❜
❛ What're we doing home in the middle of the day? She asked, hoping for sex. ❜
❛ Why? Why do I have to make up my mind? ❜
❛ I've never put much weight onto the idea of a higher power. But if I didn't know better, I'd have to believe that some force out there wants me to keep doing what I'm doing. ❜
❛ As it turns out, nobody mourns the wicked. ❜
❛ Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. ❜
166 notes · View notes
kaeyasaki · 4 years ago
Text
📹 — :; “face-to-face” GQ interview
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-> inspired by the “face-to-face, A$AP rocky answers 18 from rihanna | GQ interview”, except i make the questions a little more personal because i don’t think anyone cares what gojo’s ‘fav curse word is’
-> ft :; gojo satoru
-> interview writing layout heavily inspired by @rintaroll
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y/n: hey GQ! i’m here to do face-to-face with my co worker, gojo!
gojo: coworker? is that all i am to you?
y/n: be grateful i even acknowledged you.
gojo: you wound me.
y/n: yet you’re still smiling.
gojo flashes a playful frown to the camera as y/n roll their eyes before pulling out a stack on cards.
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y/n: so first question, what’s the hardest part about working with me?
gojo: everything.
y/n: i’m serious.
gojo: and so am i, you make it hard for me to work with you because we never get anything done.
y/n: don’t make it sound like it’s my fault! we never get anything done because you get too distracted and drag me into it!
gojo: maybe you should discipline me more...
he teases and sends you a wink to which you dismiss quickly.
y/n: you’re a grown man, you shouldn’t need me to discipline you.
gojo: what if i want you to?
y/n: would you just answer the question seriously or i’ll really start to think you don’t think we work well together!
gojo: okay, i was kidding... you’re actually a pretty good teammate when we’re sent on missions together, i have fun with you... maybe a little too much fun...
y/n: don’t give them the wrong idea we’re nothing like that!
you cringe at him as he laughs before the camera cuts moving onto the next question
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y/n: okay, second question, answer seriously from now on, got it?
gojo: anything for you~
y/n: you disgust me... anyway, how well would you say you take care of yourself?
gojo: you mean like... self care wise?
y/n: yeah, like self care!
gojo: hmm well, i’d say i take care of myself pretty well, after all, pampered men are attractive men right?
y/n: i mean sure, i think it’s attractive when a man takes care of himself but if that mans you... maybe not so much.
gojo: you don’t mean that! you must be somewhat attracted to me.
y/n: can’t say i am no.
gojo: lying is a sin you know.
y/n: you’re totally straying away from my initial question.
you groan and face the camera and gojo tilts his head and laughs.
gojo: sorry, well, i’d say i clearly look after myself very well which should be to your liking.
y/n: you’ll never be to my liking, but it’s nice to hear you take care of yourself well and that you’re not just an annoying man, but rather an annoying but hygienic man.
gojo: you’re so horrible to m-
the camera cuts as you start laughing and gojo starts whining.
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y/n: we’re getting through these quickly now let’s keep it that way.
gojo: you know, we’d be half done by now if you stopped insulting me every chance you get.
y/n: i’m the quizzer, you’re the answerer, you answer when spoken to.
gojo turns to face the grinning camera crew behind the cameras on set.
gojo: now do you see what i have to put up with! i’m a victim i’m telling you!
camera man: no no, keep it up, you guys have nice chemistry
y/n: chemistry? not to be rude but you must’ve failed science, the only clear dialogue between us is practically conversation between an adult and child.
the camera crew laugh and gojo feigns offence before you clear your throat and look at the next card.
y/n: anyways, when was the first time you were majorly recognised as ‘famous’?
gojo: ah, a long time ago i need to think, give me a sec.
you pretend to yawn as gojo thinks about his answer before smiling at you.
gojo: my second year i think. that’s when i really started getting noticed for my talent.
y/n: practically a star since birth i see, how do you do it?
gojo laughs at your sarcasm as you grin back, evenly matched banter between the two of you flowing on set.
gojo: i’m handsome and gifted, i was made for this kinda life, it all comes naturally to me.
y/n: you know what doesn’t come naturally to you though?
gojo: hm?
y/n: that dress sense.
gojo: what’s wrong with my outfit?
y/n: bland, basic, and the way you chose itadori’s uniform was just straight up ugly!
gojo: he liked it!
y/n: the poor boy probably didn’t have the heart to express his disgust to your face.
gojo: well, until he does i’m gonna believe he likes it and my dress sense is more than up to standard.
y/n: if that’s what helps you sleep at night i guess...
the camera cuts with the two of you playfully bickering with each other, any previous speculation of hostility now gone as it’s clear for watchers to see just how your dynamic together works.
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y/n: question four! what’s the first thing you notice in a person?
gojo: in general or when analysing to an extent?
y/n: in generals fine.
gojo: hm i would say looks, but i don’t wanna look too shallow on camera.
y/n: they would’ve just recorded you saying that. don’t be shocked if you’re trending on twitter later for it.
gojo: it’s fine, as long as i’m trending who cares what it’s about.
y/n: i can see the headlines already... ‘gojo satoru, top sorcerer, favoured teacher at jujutsu high and big narcissist’
you smile smugly at the man as he laughs along with you with the camera crew from behind.
gojo: yeah yeah whatever you say, but if i had to answer honestly, i’d say what energy they give off. i don’t let it bother me too much, but i’d say i’m pretty good at judging what someone’s like based off of what energy they’re giving out.
y/n: i’m shocked, that’s a pretty good answer... for you anyway.
gojo: i try my best for you.
y/n: mhm sure, keep that attitude next time we’re working together and maybe we’ll finish jobs quicker.
gojo snickers and smiles gently at you, his direction is no longer faced towards the camera, but rather solely directed at you as you clear your throat.
y/n: yeah anyway, good answer. that might just get you uncancelled.
gojo: i haven’t even been cancelled yet don’t speak it into existence!
y/n: i’ll ‘try my best for you’
you’re both smiling softly at each other after you mock one of gojo’s previous replies, there’s no speech cut off as a comfortable silence rests for a moment as the scene cuts.
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y/n: okay, i want genuine answers only.
gojo: that’s what i’ve been giving you from the start!
you jokingly narrow your eyes at him before looking down at the next card.
y/n: well okay then, so, what was the first thing you noticed about me when we first met?
gojo: unusually bold question from you.
y/n: just shut up and answer, i was recommended to ask this.
gojo: sure, sure.
y/n: would you please just answer so we can get this over with?
gojo sighs dramatically and sits up properly and nods.
gojo: naturally, for anyone else i would say energy but for you, ah, i think it was your pretty face.
y/n: shut up, i said genuine answers only.
gojo: i am being genuine! aren’t i allowed to call you pretty?
y/n: you aren’t allowed to answer falsely, serious answers please.
gojo: you make me sound like i’m down bad, honestly, you’re very attractive to me, your energy was just a bonus, i’m serious, stop doubting yourself so much.
he smiles your way, not playfully nor forced, it’s a soft and genuine smile to calm your nerves, it’s a sign of truthfulness on his end. before you answer he clears his throat, slight hurry in his voice.
gojo: -of course, we were younger back then, since then you’ve gotten wrinkles and is that a few grey hairs i see? you also slouch-
y/n: -okay okay you can stop!
the two of you laugh as you gently kick his chair, the fact you’re being recorded and being watched by a whole camera crew totally forgotten about.
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y/n: okay, last question finally!
gojo: admit you had fun with me.
y/n: i see you everyday, today was nothing special.
gojo: you wouldn’t say we’ve bonded more over this interview?
y/n: you’re still as irritating as before this interview so no.
you grin and gojo scoffs before shuffling in his chair a little before a sly smile draws across his face.
gojo: go on then, last question.
y/n: would you sl-
gojo: go on, ask it, we’re waiting.
gojo is leaning on the palm of his hand, teasing smile playing on his lips and y/n stares at the card in disbelief.
y/n: you definitely wrote this! i would never ask this! there’s been a mistake with the cards or something
camera man: ah no, they’re all the questions that were on your form you sent in prior to the interview, these are the questions you apparently wanted to be asked. sorry, you’ll have to make do.
y/n: i’m not asking that.
gojo: come on now, don’t upset your supportive fans.
y/n: i know you wrote this, you’re so infuriating!
you glare at him but not with complete hostility, the situation slightly humorous to you despite your protests.
gojo: i mean well.
gojo shrugs as you sigh and stare at the card before speaking.
y/n: fine then have it your way. would you... would you sleep with me?
gojo: how brave! asking me on camera in the middle of an interview! how could i dare say no!
gojo is laughing along with the camera crew as you fight back a smile, refusing to admit his interference was entertaining.
y/n: at least take me out for dinner first.
gojo: now you’re asking me to take you out? you’re really bold today aren’t you!
y/n: oh shut up! i didn’t mean it like that! this is totally your fault it’s awkward now.
you’re grinning at this point not caring that your flirtatious banter with gojo is being recorded and is soon to be edited and posted for the world to see.
gojo: i mean, i’m free tomorrow if that’s good with you?
y/n: what? no, i- this wasn’t even a serious question shut up!
gojo: i’ll shut up if you let me take you out... and maybe then i’ll sleep with you after if that’s your request.
y/n: i can’t stand you!
gojo: but you do everyday, that must count for something right?
y/n: i hate you.
gojo: quite the contrary, i’m sure i’ll get you to admit that by tomorrow though.
y/n: ...i’ll be waiting on it then.
the two of you are smiling at each other, laughter dying down as you once again softly kick gojo’s chair. he pays no mind to it as a moment of fondness occurs, viewers clearly able to see the evident bond between the two of you.
y/n: okay well... that concludes our face-to-face, GQ interview, thanks for watching and putting up with him!
gojo: maybe we’ll come back to do an interview about our date after i take you out, who knows, maybe i’ll get to ask you to rate me in bed!
y/n: gross. you sound like a fifteen year old boy.
gojo: am i at least a hot one?
y/n: i refuse to catch a case.
gojo cackles as you laugh too, the camera fades out with the scene of the two of you softly smiling at each other as the interview concludes.
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fific7 · 3 years ago
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Ticket to Ride - Part 1
Billy Russo x Reader
A/N: Inspired by The Beatles song of the same name. This takes place in my S1 Punisher AU with Arrogant!Billy in attendance. Billy gets a taste of his own medicine.
Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, including oral, between consenting adults* in some chapters. Drinking and swearing.
*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.
(My photo edit)
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𝕀 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕀'𝕞 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕕, 𝕀 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕜 𝕚𝕥'𝕤 𝕥𝕠𝕕𝕒𝕪, 𝕪𝕖𝕒𝕙
𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕚𝕣𝕝 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥'𝕤 𝕕𝕣𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕕 𝕚𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕨𝕒𝕪
𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕖
𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕖
𝕊𝕙𝕖'𝕤 𝕘𝕠𝕥 𝕒 𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕠 𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕖 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕖 𝕕𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖
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You were grabbing armfuls of clothes out of the wardrobe and dumping them into the three massive suitcases you’d laid open on the floor. If any of your friends had seen you at that point, they’d have said you looked like a woman possessed.
Finally, the wardrobe was empty of your clothes, and you moved on to the chest of drawers and then the bathroom. The contents were shovelled into a couple of large backpacks, as were various other bits and bobs from bedside table drawers and shelving units. In a surprisingly short space of time, you’d packed up everything that belonged to you in this damned apartment.
That left you just two very quick things to do, and you could then somehow get all this luggage downstairs into the lobby and get the hell out of Dodge.
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The receptionist at the airport hotel you were booking into looked at the amount of luggage you had with you, and studied your face again carefully. No doubt she was wondering if you were a celebrity. Obviously deciding that there was an outside chance that you were but she just hadn’t recognised you, you were given an upgrade on the room without even asking for one.
Plopping down onto the bed once you’d got into your room, you rummaged around in one of the backpacks until you found your laptop, connecting it to the hotel WiFi. Opening one of the major airlines’ websites, you began scrolling through the destinations offered from JFK.
So many to choose from!
Now to plan your getaway.
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Billy Russo got back home really late. He was going to be in trouble, no doubt about it... he hadn’t even texted because he hadn’t wanted to face any questions about what he was doing and when he’d be home.
Opening the apartment door, he was surprised to find it in darkness. Oh... had she gone to bed already? That wasn’t a good sign. He switched on the lights and immediately noticed a sheet of paper and a photo frame lying prominently on the kitchen island.
Walking over, he didn’t even have to pick up the note to read it. There was only one word, printed large.
“Goodbye.”
His stomach knotted and then he looked at the photo frame lying next to it. The photo was the one which was usually on the bedside table, a favourite of his.... she was sitting on a bar stool and he was behind her, his arms right around her. Both laughing into the lens as the photo was taken.
The photo was still in the frame, but it was torn in two.
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Finally, by the next morning you’d decided on London. You’d never been, and quite honestly wanted to lose yourself in another big city. Flight booked, an AirBnB apartment booked for two weeks and you didn’t need a visa, so you were all set.
Now just one more thing to do. You opened up the box containing your new mobile phone and fitted the SIM card into it. After about twenty minutes of entering contact details and various apps onto it, you took your original phone and called Karen.
Her bored voice answered so you knew she was already at work, but she perked up when she heard your voice.
“Hi honey! How’re things? Wanna meet up for lunch today? I’m bored and I need a good gossip.”
You were a freelance copy writer and so you were your own boss. There were one or two assignments you were currently working on, but you could work from anywhere you could get a WiFi connection, so that wasn’t a problem.
“Uhhh, sadly not darling, I’m flying to London this afternoon.” You could hear her intake of breath, then she squealed, “Oh you lucky woman, how’d you manage to land an assignment like that?”
You gave a bitter little laugh, “I’ve left Billy.”
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Billy had sat on his sofa for a long time after he’d seen the note and photo. At first he’d just had to sit down, overwhelmed, as he had the most horrible feeling that his world was crashing down around his ears.
She was the one person who made him feel safe and loved. But he knew only too well that he’d been walking the line recently what with the situation at Anvil and having to keep Madani sweet. He hadn’t actually crossed the line, but he’d had to make sure she thought that he would, and soon at that. Would he have crossed it? He’d need to get back to himself on that question.
Of course he’d mentioned none of this to his girl. But obviously - somehow - he mustn’t have done a very good job at being discreet because she’d guessed something was up. And left him.
He’d poured himself a large whisky and downed it in one, before going over to the window and looking out forlornly at the city lights. Then he called Frank.
When he heard the gruff growl on the other end of the line, he said, “She’s left me, Frankie,” and realised how hoarse his voice sounded.
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“What?!” screeched Karen. You hadn’t divulged your recent secret fears to her, hoping against hope that you were wrong when you’d started noticing little things over the past few weeks. But now you gave her a full rundown of it all.
More and more claims of ‘working late’ and ‘being very busy at work’.
Alcohol on his breath after he’d been on these ‘working late’ evenings.
A distinct smell of CK’s Eternity from a jumper he’d left crumpled up in a corner on the bedroom floor when he’d been out extra late one evening.
The final straw? You almost laughed when you thought about it, as it was such a cliché. A smear of dark red lipstick on the inside collar on one of his otherwise pristine white shirts. And another unmistakable whiff of Eternity.
You’d never be able to wear that damn perfume again.
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Frankie had been suitably sympathetic to start with, but had then begun to berate Billy for being ‘a stupid asshole’ once he’d explained what he’d been up to with Madani. “I didn’t sleep with her!” Billy grumbled, “....just messin’ around. You know we need to know what she knows.”
“Yeah, but women ain’t stupid, Russo! Were you goin’ home reeking of booze and another woman’s perfume?” Billy said nothing at first, just grunted but then said, “Maybe. Yeah.. probably.” “See!” said Frank, “...you’re a stupid asshole!” “I mean, she didn’t even challenge me on it!” Frank started laughing, “So that makes it her fault, huh!? You’re a piece of work, Russo.” “No, no.... I just meant, aren’t you supposed to have arguments about that kinda stuff first? She just up and left me!”
“I don’t blame her,” said Frank, “...and you know she’s not the type to take any BS from you, Bill. She probably thought it wasn’t worth her time listenin’ to you tryna give excuses for the inexcusable.”
Billy was reminded by this that one of Frank’s pet peeves was infidelity. “But I didn’t cheat!” said Billy forcefully. “Whaddya do, kiss her?” “Yeah.” “Feel her up a bit?” “Mmhuh.” “That’s cheatin’ in my book, Russo.” Billy realised he was hanging his head in shame, and quickly looked up and out of the window again.
“I dunno what to do, Frankie.”
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You’d given Karen your new number and told her on pain of death not to pass it on to anyone, even Frank and especially not to Billy. She’d assured you she wouldn’t, and neither would she tell them where you were headed.
She’d been fuming at Billy, and you wouldn’t like to be in his shoes the next time she happened to meet up with him. Her rage had been quite spectacular and she was really, really pissed that Billy hadn’t even tried to contact you. You didn’t say anything to her, but secretly you wondered if he’d actually spent the night with his side piece on this occasion and hadn’t even seen your note yet. Jealousy and anger began to take over and you stood up abruptly, determined that thoughts of that douchebag weren’t going to invade your brain.
You took the SIM card out of the phone, shut it down and tucked it away in one of your bags. Gathering all your stuff together, you began to get ready to leave the room..
Can’t wait to get on that plane, you thought.
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Frankie rang Billy back a couple of hours later. “Micro tracked her phone,” he said without preamble. “Where is she? At Karen’s?” Billy asked anxiously. There was a pause, then, “Nah, Bill. She’s at JFK. And her phone’s switched off now.”
Billy, standing next to the window again, yelled, “Fuck!” before leaning his head against the cold glass. “Can Micro find out which flight’s she’s booked on, Frankie?” “He can try, but it’ll involve some hacking so it might take a little longer.” He paused again, before continuing, “And avoid Karen. She’s out for your blood.”
Billy sighed, “She’s spoken to her?” “Yeah, course she has, Bill. She knows more than she’s tellin’ me of course, but I’m not even gonna try askin’ her. Waste of time.” “It’s okay, I get it, Frankie. I wouldn’t ask you to. But if she does say anythin’.....” “I’ll let you know,” Frank finished the sentence for him and hung up.
Billy looked out of the window and then up into the sky. She wanted to get away from him so badly, she’d got a plane ticket and was about to fly.
He just prayed he’d be able to find her before she took off.
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@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @omgrachwrites @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry @odetostep
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London
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babymetaldoll · 3 years ago
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DIWK - Chapter thirteen: "Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new"
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Words count: 16,5K
Summary: Spencer's headaches don't seem to have a logical explanation. The only thing that makes sense is that he has been causing them to himself by overthinking something that's already clear: he has been an asshole, and he should tell reader how he feels. Reader realizes she's been stupid all along. And then, she goes out with James. Frank, Lu, Garcia, and Derek finally intervene.
Warnings: Cursing (but that's just my writing style), angst, hurt, and a little comfort from friends. There's a fight, alcohol consumption. Someone is getting drunk...
A/N: Ok, so... here we go!
Masterlist
Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |
Words count: 16,5K
Summary: Spencer's headaches don't seem to have a logical explanation. The only thing that makes sense is that he has been causing them to himself by overthinking something already clear: he has been an asshole, and he should tell reader how he feels. Reader realizes she's been stupid all along. Will she go out with James? Frank, Lu, Garcia, and Derek finally intervene.
Warnings: Cursing (but that's just my writing style), angst, hurt, and a little comfort from friends. There's a fight, alcohol consumption. Someone is getting drunk...
A/N: Ok, so... things are slowly but surely happening here.
---
Spencer's point of view
- "That doesn't make any sense!"- I nearly lost it at my medical appointment. To be fair, I was losing my sanity for the last week, but that day, that minute, I have had enough.
- "I'm not sure what you want me to say,"- the doctor frowned, confused by my reaction.
- "So there's nothing wrong?"
- "Well, your scans are perfectly normal, and there doesn't seem to be any physical explanation for your headaches."
- "Well, what do I do now?"- I was lost. I was hoping he could tell me there was something physically wrong with me that we could fix. But apparently, everything was ok.
- "Well, have you considered..."
- "Considered what?"- I knew what he was implying, but I didn't want to deal with that. The doctor sighed and simply just said it.
- "A psychosomatic cause."
- "Psychosomatic?"
- "It just means mental or emotional stress..."
I had to cut the doctor right there, 'cos it was nearly insulting that he thought he needed to explain to me what that meant.
- "I know what psychosomatic means, doctor, but it's not that."
- "Well, I think it's something we should consider."
- "It's not... I'm not crazy!"- but yes, I was going a little crazy at the time.
- "Crazy? Dr. Reid, I'm not saying..."- the professional stared at me, shocked, as I put on my satchel and stood up.
- "I have headaches. I have intense sensitivity to light because there's something wrong with me physically, not mentally. It's not that."
- "That?"
- "Listen, doctor, my mother's a paranoid schizophrenic who's been institutionalized, so I know very well what mental illness looks like, maybe even better than you, and it's not that. It's not."
I walked to the door, but before I could leave or dramatically storm out, the doctor added one more thing.
- "Your headaches are more likely caused by stress due, I suspect, to your very consuming job. My recommendation is to take a few weeks off and have a real vacation. Disconnect from work, and relax. That's all."
The doctor seemed genuinely concerned, so I just nodded and walked out. My head was killing me, and to be honest, I wasn't thinking straight.
It was Thursday. My head was killing me. I hadn't spoken more than a handful of words with (Y/N) since last Friday, and to call it torture came short. It was consuming my whole life at that point. I hadn't slept more than maybe three hours that entire week. After we reached home from Miami, I focused on the paperwork and whatever request for information that crossed my desk.
But I wasn't blind, neither deaf nor stupid. No, I was stupid for wasting so many chances I had in almost five years to tell (Y/N) how much I loved her. Now I was doomed to look at her from a safe distance, as she enjoyed life with her new boyfriend. James.
I first heard his name Wednesday morning when a delivery boy showed up at the bullpen, asking for (Y/N). Everybody looked at her, and she blushed as she raised her hand, and the delivery boy gave her a small box and asked her to sign for the package.
- "What is that, pretty girl?"- Morgan asked when the delivery was gone, and he walked over to see what was into the box.
- "I have no idea... but it passed security, so I know it's not a bomb"- she chuckled and opened it.
- "Wow! Did you send her these, kid?"- Morgan looked at me chuckling, but as soon as he saw my serious expression, he frowned, confused.
- "This is incredible!"- it was the whole Jane Austen collection in a deluxe edition. It was gorgeous. She obviously loved it. And it came with a card.
- "Can't wait 'till Friday night. James"- Emily read out loud as (Y/N) stared at the box, blushing- "Ok missy, you have some explaining to do!"
But I didn't stick around to hear the rest of the story. I didn't need the torture. So I stood up and walked to the kitchenette to get another cup of coffee. And then I hid in the briefing room because I needed to be on my own for a while. I sat at the table and stared at my hands, trying to remain calm. I couldn't cry at work. I shouldn't show my true feelings when my friends were around. I didn't want them asking a million questions I didn't want to answer with the truth.
- "Sorry, man,"- Morgan said as he walked in and sat at the other side of the table- I thought you had sent her those books 'cos you have been acting all weird lately, and you were trying to get on her good side
- "Don't worry"- I tried to look cool and even smiled at Morgan, but he knew better than that.
- "So... how are you?"
- "I'm ok, you?"- I was annoyed already, but I knew there was no way out from that conversation
- "Kid, come on. You can talk to me."
- "There is nothing I wanna talk about right now. I am ok!"- I stood up and walked around the room, frustrated and trying not to yell.
- "Come on, Reid. It's getting painful to watch! You have to tell her how you feel!"- Derek stood up too, and I widened my eyes at his words, scared everybody downstairs might have heard us. I looked at the door; it was locked.
- "I don't want to talk about that now."
- "Man! Come on!"- but I passed by his side and ignored him, opening the door and basically running back to my desk.
From where I could clearly see (Y/N) blushing and staring at her books. Great.
That day went painfully slow. By the time I reached my apartment, I was exhausted both mentally and emotionally. My head was killing me, and all I wanted was to get under the covers of my bed with a book, a cup of herbal tea and make a massive effort to get some sleep.
Apparently, I was asking for too much. Ten minutes after my arrival, my bell rang, forcing my weary body to move from the couch to the door. Sadly, it wasn't (Y/N), the only person I wanted to see that minute. Instead, it was Ashley, and I had to pretend and smile when I saw her.
- "Hey! Am I interrupting something?"- she asked with a cheerful smile as she stood by the door and showed me a paper bag- I got some extra dumplings, and I thought you might like to share
- "Thank you, Ashley... but I already ate."- I lied and watched her leave the box on my table and take a look around- "Wait, where did you get my address?"
- "It's on the system."- she answered casually, and I frowned, thinking there had to be a better way to keep our information classified if we were FBI agents. Not that I didn't want Ashley to know where I lived, but... I just didn't want her there.
- "And what were you doing?"
- "Getting... really to bed, actually. I am weary."
- "And... Do you need any help?"- Ashley stood closer to me and smiled mischievously. I cleared my throat, feeling awkward and even a little embarrassed with her proposal.
- "No, thank you, I'm ok."
But she didn't get the hint. Instead, she ran her tongue through her lips very slowly and rested her hands on my hips. My whole body aches at that touch. Not because I craved more, but because it made me feel nervous and uneasy. I didn't want her to touch me, but I didn't want to be rude.
- "You know, Spence, (Y/N) has a boyfriend now, and she definitely moved on with her life. Maybe you should start thinking about doing the same."
- "I'm sorry?"- I frowned as I stared at her silly grin. She thought she was flirting, but instead, she was actually hurting me.
- "I saw her Friday with Anderson's friend. She seemed to be having a great time. Maybe it's time you have fun too."- she leaned in and tried to kiss me, but I took three steps back and shook my head right away.
- "No, Ashley, it's not like that,"- she frowned, confused, and blushed, embarrassed immediately.
-" What? But I thought you... I thought you liked me."
- "I'm sorry, Ashley, but..."- I hesitated in my answer, trying to find the right ways to reject her. I had never rejected anyone before in my entire life. I have never been lucky with girls at all.
- "But what? You don't want me?"
No. I didn't want her. Not even a little. Not even at all. But I couldn't tell her that just upfront. I had to sugarcoat it. I didn't want to hurt her, though. She wasn't a bad person. Just... Not the right person for me.
- "I'm sorry, Ashley. I am sure you are an amazing woman, and any man would be glad to..."
- "Not any man, Spencer. You! I want you!"- but I just shook my head and sighed.
- "I'm sorry."
That was all I managed to answer. Her cheeks kept blushing, and somehow, her eyes were tearing up too. I remembered (Y/N) once told me that she would involuntarily cry every time she was upset, which always made her feel weak. I thought I could tell Ashley crying was totally normal when one's upset. But instead, I just stayed quiet.
- "You know, she is with someone else now. So she clearly doesn't want you, Spencer. Why are you waiting for her?"
I could tell she meant to hurt me, but she couldn't do it. Why? I guess because I knew she didn't understand (Y/N) and me. She tried to make it seem like (Y/N) had ruined everything, but I knew it had been me. There was no one else to blame but me.
- "I don't wanna fight with you, Ashley,"- I whispered and shook my head- And I don't want to talk about (Y/N) with you.
- "She doesn't love you, Spencer,"- that we both agreed on.
- "She has nothing to do with what's going on right here. I don't wanna have anything but a professional relationship with you, Ashley. I'm sorry if you had any other thoughts about us, but it's not gonna happen. Not tonight, not ever. And not because of (Y/N)."
Ashley gave me a stern look. Her chin quivered, but she didn't flinch. Instead, she grabbed the food she had brought and walked to the door.
- "You are gonna regret this, Spencer!!"- she yelled and stormed out of my apartment, slamming the door.
But no matter what, I knew I wouldn't. I wasn't going to regret rejecting her that night.
(Y/N)'s point of view
I stared at the books James had sent me and sighed. I was home alone on a Wednesday night, staring at a bunch of books on my coffee table. They were unique, gorgeous, and clearly expensive. But they meant nothing compared to the one sitting at their side: Spencer's edition of the Illustrated Man. It was old, had many notes on the sides, and the corner of the pages had been folded... primarily by me.
I sipped my glass of wine and sighed. I missed Spencer. I didn't want to go out with James. I wasn't interested in him at all. I just liked the attention I got from him, mostly 'cos I knew he had a crush on me... because Anderson had pointed it out as soon as he told me about him.
Tears fell down my cheeks as I ran my fingers through Spencer's book. I missed him. But he was with Ashley now. So I had to move on. I didn't want to, though. I just wanted him. I could almost see him there, on the couch, laughing. I could hear his laughter as we played board games. His current favorite was Monopoly Gamer Mario Kart, and he really enjoyed winning. He could get all cocky as he got all my coins.
Everywhere I looked around in my apartment reminded me of Reid. It was just the books, his cardigan on my couch, the umbrella he had left two years ago, and that belonged in my place now. It was just the pictures of him on the walls, memories of trips, dinners, Christmas, parties with Lu, Frank, and Mikey. It was literally everything. My apartment screamed Spencer Reid because he was the person I had shared the most amazing times with there.
On that kitchen island, we had carved pumpkins every Halloween for the last four years. On that table, he served the first meal he ever prepared from scratch. On that couch, we forgot about all our phobias and cuddled for countless hours.
My whole life was about Spencer Reid. How was I ever going to move on from him? How was I ever going to love someone the way I loved him?
I sobbed and just then realized I was crying my heart out. I held my legs, wrapping my arms around them, and rocked back and forth for a few minutes. I was losing my mind, and the only thing that made sense was crying until there were no more years left inside of me.
When the phone rang, I had a headache. I always get one after I cry. I prayed it wasn't a case 'cos I wasn't really sober after drinking a whole bottle of wine, crying, on the floor. Literally, on the floor. But it wasn't Penelope with a case. It was Frank, and he could tell from the very first moment that something was wrong.
- "Nugget, are you ok?"
- "Yeah, Paco, why?"- I slurred and cursed. I was busted.
- "Why are you drunk?"
- "Because I got home after a horrible day and decided to drown my fucking bad mood in chardonnay. Guess what? The shitty bastard keeps floating, but I am not giving up!"
Frank chuckled with my drunken words. I heard him light a cigarette and walk around somewhere I figured was his apartment.
- "And what is the doc doing?"
- "What the fuck do I know?"- my voice didn't hide the hurt I felt, but I forgot Frank had no idea what was happening between Spencer and me.
- "Doc isn't there?"
- "No, we are no longer tied by the hip."
- "Ok, nugget, what the fuck is going on?"
- "Spencer has a girlfriend."
- "What?!"- I nearly dropped my phone, 'cos Frank yelled into my ear after hearing my reply.
- "Yeah, Spencer Walter Reid has a girlfriend. So if you wanna know about him, you should call fucking agent trainee Seaver, who is probably training his cock right now!!"
I grabbed my glass and finished what was left of the wine. I knew I had another bottle in the fridge, but it was just Wednesday, I still might be called in for a case, and I still had to get up early in the morning to go to work. Getting drunk wasn't the answer. But... I wasn't asking any questions either. So I stood up slowly and walked to the kitchen to grab the bottle.
- "No, nugget. There's no way you are telling me the truth!"
- "Why should I lie? Spencer has a girlfriend. Her name is Ashley."
- "(Y/N), Doc has been in love with you for years! There's no way he has a girlfriend!!"- I put the phone on speaker and left it on the counter to open the cold bottle of wine and pour myself another glass.
- "Can you all people stop saying Spencer is in love with me?!"- tears filled my eyes as I shouted and hit the table- "I know he is not! And that's why I feel like shit!"
- "Ok, nugget... calm down. Are you home?"
- "Yes... can you come over?"
- "I'm sorry, I'm out of town. I came to New York for a job interview."
- "What?! When? Why?"
- "'Cos I thought maybe it was time for a new challenge..."- my heart stopped with those words, and Frank knew it- "But don't worry, I didn't get it. You won't get rid of me so easily, nugget."
- "Good, 'cos I don't want any more changes. I can't deal with any more things changing... I don't like it..."
- "Ok, nugget, I am a little worried now, so I'm going to call Lu and ask her to go to your house, ok?"
- "No, please don't"- I closed my eyes, feeling the room spinning as soon as I did- "I can tell I had a little too much to drink already, so I'll finish this glass, and I'll go to bed."
- "Are you sure?"- I knew Frank was worried, and the last thing I wanted was to be a burden for my friends.
- "Definitely."
- "Ok... what if we do something this weekend?"
- "Sure! I'll be free... if no psychopath decides to ruin our fun again."- Frank chuckled, and I took another sip of my wine.
- "Ok, sounds like a plan. Now please go to bed, and whatever you do, don't do any fucking phone call while you are under the influence."
- "I don't drink and call, Paco. Trust me,"- he chuckled one more time, his laughter bringing a smile to my lips 'cos it too damn contagious not to smile, and then, we said goodnight.
I looked around my kitchen. Nothing but memories with Spencer in there too. I could almost see him sitting at the other side of the kitchen island, sipping his coffee, giving me food facts as I cooked. The only fact I was sure about at that point was that if I wanted to move on from Spencer, I was going to have to move out of that place. Actually, I would have to move cities, states, probably countries. Because I knew everything reminded me of Reid.
But that night, for once, I knew I couldn't move on. I wanted to feel Spencer close, 'cos I missed him too much. So I did all the things I knew I shouldn't. I put on one of his shirts and sweaters and took a deep breath, wrapping my arms around me as I got under the covers of my bed, thinking Spencer was there with me. His clothes still smelled like him, and it was intoxicating.
So I did the only thing I could do: I closed my eyes and cried myself to sleep.
Thursday was a waste of a day. I had so much paperwork to catch up with, I put on my headphones and created a bubble around me because it was the only way to survive. Lucky for me, Seaver wasn't at the BAU that day. She was at the academy. Maybe that was why Spencer looked so sad. He missed her.
- "SSA (Y/L/N)"- I picked up my phone and turned around as soon as I heard Hotch's voice at the other side of the line, calling me at the end of the workday.
- "(Y/N), can you come to my office, please?"
- "Yes, sir."
I took a deep breath as I walked over, and brushed my hands against my pants, to get rid of any wrinkle or fuzz. When was the last time Hotch had called me to his office? Over a year earlier, after I had an argument with a suspect in the interrogation room. In my defense, she was striking my nerves. Ok, fine, I didn't have a reason.
- "Hi, is everything ok?"- I asked as soon as I showed up in Aaron's office.
- "Close the door, (Y/N), please."
And immediately, the knot in my stomach made me feel like I was being called into the principal's office. I turned around to do as asked and caught Spencer's eyes staring at me as he stood in the middle of the bullpen, clearly worried. And I felt so weak and moved by how concerned he looked; I did the first thing that came to mind: I smiled and waved.
- "Please, sit down,"- Aaron pointed at the chair across from him, and I did as told, again.
- "Is everything ok, Hotch?"- my question came right out of me, my lips moving before I had actually decided to speak.
- "I have been trying to find the right way to say this for the last half hour, and I am sorry, but..."
- "Oh shit! I'm fired! Why do you hate me so much?"- I jumped from my chair, and Aaron quickly followed me, trying to smother my reaction.
- "No, (Y/N). You are not fired! And no, I don't hate you! Calm down!"- I looked at him, confused and still suspicious.
- "Please, sit down. It's actually because I care about you that I didn't know how to tell you this, but I think almost five years is enough time to stay aside from what's been going on."
- "I'm sorry, Hotch, but I don't follow"- he clenched his jaw and sighed, frustrated. I just stared at him, waiting for the rest of the speech because my unit chief was clearly trying to find the right words to speak his mind.
- "Listen, (Y/N). This is very hard for me to talk about. I've always tried to keep everybody's personal life aside from the FBI. Unfortunately, your relationship with Reid is starting to affect you at your work."
Clearly, that was why he was so uncomfortable. I turned blood red and looked at my hands resting on my lap. I couldn't look into Hotch's eyes.
- "I don't understand. I don't have a relationship with Spencer."
- "The fact neither of you has acted on your feelings doesn't mean you don't have a relationship."
The words came more upset than what Hotch had intended, so he took a deep breath and walked around his office for a moment.
- "After what happened to Haley, I've given too much thought to many of the decisions I've taken in the last years of my life."
I didn't know how to react to Hotch's words because of all the things I could have thought we would talk about. Listening to my unit chief open his heart and talk about his feelings was definitely not my first guess. Not even the eighth.
- "And I care about you and Reid. I don't want you to have any regrets."
- "Which regrets could I have?"- I don't know why I asked if I knew I wasn't going to like the answer.
- "Spencer is in love with you, and you are in love with him. Stop running away from your feelings and face them. Sometimes you have to be courageous and take the first step."
I looked at Aaron Hotchner, almost certain the man sitting in front of me wasn't the same Aaron Hotchner who had once hired me. The man who refused to speak his heart. At least, not me. No way on earth that was Hotch.
- "I know it's strange that I tell you this, and I know I am not comfortable doing this... but... I can see that you two did something wrong, and you should try to fix it before you regret it."
For once, I couldn't argue those words. I knew the speech, but it was useless lying to Hotch. He could see through all my bullshit.
- "I... don't think he feels the same as I do,"- I whispered and kept my eyes on my hands, feeling how my cheeks blushed immediately.
- "You are wrong. You two have been nonsensical, and if I can be sincere, it's getting painful to watch- I winced in a mix of embarrassment and frustration."
- "Hotch... it's not that easy. I don't know if you noticed, but Ashley is the girl who caught his attention."
- "It's the lies that we keep telling ourselves that define what we are instead of who we can really be."- he sentenced, shaking his head- "He loves you. But for the last few weeks, you two have been acting like you are twelve years old."
- "I don't think you are getting all the info straight. I mean... I have tried to tell him."
- "No, you have tried to teach a blind man how to recognize colors,"- now that was Hotch frustrated. He was clearly awkward but also upset I wasn't following his ideas.
- "I'm pretty sure he is with Seaver."
- "He asked never to be paired with Seaver,"- Hotch refuted, frowning. Now that was new information. But I kept refusing to admit anything.
- "Probably not to be suspicious or to make sure his head was in the job."
- "His request was literally: "I don't want to give (Y/N) any sign I like Seaver, 'cos I don't."
Hotch looked at me in silence as I tried to process what he had just said. I couldn't believe it, but at the same time, you can't ever doubt Hotch.
- "Why would he do such a thing?"
- "You have to ask him."
- "Maybe he just doesn't want anyone suspicious about what they have."
- "Why is it so hard to believe? He loves you!"
I opened my mouth to argue with my boss when Anderson knocked on the door and excused himself.
- "Strauss sent you this, sir. She said it's urgent."- Grant said and cut me a small smile before disappearing from the room.
- "Thank you, Anderson."- Hotch said as he went through the papers and sighed.
- "You are busy,"- I inferred and stood up- "We can continue... whatever this was some other time if you'd like."
I stood up, seeing a clear way out of that awkward conversation. I wasn't sure I could open my heart with him.
- "One more thing, (Y/N)"- Hotch said as I stood up and almost ran to the door.
- "What is it?"
- "Tell him how you feel, or I'll have to take action myself."
- "What kind of actions?"
- "Let's hope we don't get to that point."
Hotch's face was severe. He wasn't joking. I just nodded and walked out of his office, scared of what would happen if I ever told Spencer how I felt. But now I was being forced to. That wasn't good.
I looked around, Morgan was packing his things to leave, and Spencer was on the phone, walking to the elevators. Probably he had a date with Ashley, and he was calling her to tell her he was picking her up. I sighed, exhausted, and shook my head.
- "What is it, pretty girl?"- Morgan cut me a warm smile as I reached his side and sighed.
- "I am so tired. I just wanna go home and get under the blankets of my bed with a warm cup of tea and a book."
- "Damn! That sounds thrilling! When is your big date?"- I frowned, groaning. I had totally forgotten about that date.
- "Tomorrow... I'm kind of hoping we get called on a case so I can cancel..."
- "Why?"- Derek looked at me as I started getting ready to go home.
- "'Cos... I don't feel like going."
- "Then don't,"- his answer was so simple I almost laughed.
- "Yeah... I have to go. Did you see the books that guy sent me?"
- "But that doesn't mean you have to go out on a date. You are not forced to do it just 'cos he sent you a present."
- "I know... but I don't know... maybe I'm just too tired and not thinking clearly."
- "Well, go to sleep, pretty girl. And tomorrow, depending on how you are feeling, you can cancel that date. I know someone who would be thrilled to know you won't go out with some guy."
I just shook my head and put on my jacket. I knew he was talking about Reid, but I wasn't in the mood to keep on talking about him with other teammates. Hotch's pep talk had been enough.
- "See you tomorrow, Derek."
Spencer's point of view
My heart dropped as soon as Hotch called (Y/N) to his office. The last time he had done that, she had gotten into trouble with an unsub. She lost her temper in the interrogation room and almost hit the suspect. Had she done something? Was she in trouble? The fact she smiled and waved at me before closing the door made me feel actually worse. Maybe she knew she was in trouble.
I kept looking over from time to time, trying to catch a glimpse of what was happening inside Hotch's office, but I gave up after a few minutes because it was impossible.
I still couldn't shake the thought of (Y/N) being in trouble from my head.
- "Dr. Spencer Reid,"- I answered the phone and didn't take my eye from Hotch's door.
- "Hey Doc, Frank here. How are you?"
- "Hey! Good, how are you?"
- "Good, I was just thinking, is (Y/N) around?"
- "No, she is not. Why? She is with our chief unit... Do you need to reach her?"
- "No. Are you busy tonight?"
- "No, why?"
- "I need to talk to you. Alone."
- "Is everything ok?"- of course, it wasn't. Frank had never called to meet alone unless we were planning (Y/N)'s a surprise birthday party.
- "Yeah, don't worry. I just need to talk to you..."
- "Well... I'm heading home now."
- "Great, I just got off the plane... I can meet you there in an hour if that's ok with you."
- "Sure, see you there."
I had never been so nervous about talking with Frank before. Not even when we first met, and I freaked out thinking of any excuse to avoid going to (Y/N)'s apartment. The memories of that day filled my mind the whole way back home. That was the first time I had ever gotten drunk in my entire life, and I never told that to anyone. I always felt people thought I was a loser, and I didn't want to give them any more reasons to do it. But neither Mikey nor Frank ever laughed at me, though they were clearly cooler than I was. They would have never been my friends in high school.
Were they going to be my friends if (Y/N) and I stopped talking to each other? Of course not. What was going to happen between us? I had no idea, and the headaches overanalyzing everything produced me were driving me insane.
- "Hey man,"- Frank walked in and tapped on my back the second he showed up at my door.
- "How was your flight? Where were you?"
- "New York, applying for a job, but didn't get it,"- he took off his jacket and left it on a chair, as he had always done, despite the fact the hat rack was right next to the door.
- "I'm sorry, Frank."
- "That's ok. It wasn't for me."
- "I was gonna get something for dinner. Wanna join me?"
- "No, this won't take too long, I just..."
Frank sighed and looked at me, standing in the middle of my apartment. He was a little shorter than I was, so I had to look down at him, but that could never affect the fact he could kick my ass. I always knew that about him and Frank. In fact, I had seen them get into small fights a few times in the years I had met them.
And the way Frank looked at me that minute let me know he was actually considering hitting me.
- "Why are you mad at me?"
- "Don't profile me! I hate when you and (Y/N) start doing your Jedi shit."
- "I'm sorry, but... you are clearly not happy with me so, why don't you just say it?"
- "Ok, fine. What the fuck is wrong with you?"- Frank simply replied and crossed his arms on his chest.
- "What? What are you talking about?"
- "You have a girlfriend."
- "What? How do you... I don't!"- Frank just shook his head and started talking, not giving me a chance to explain I wasn't dating anyone.
- "Maybe this is my fault. Lu and Mikey kept telling me you had to tell her what you felt at your own peace! But four fucking years are enough to make up your fucking mind!! We were all sure you loved her, 'cos you did, right? I mean, as long as I know, you still do! I saw you less than a month ago, and you two were fucking husband a wife, for Christ's sake!!"
Frank was now almost yelling at me, and I still didn't understand a word that came from his lips.
- "Frank, what are you talking about?"
- "She fucking loves you!! And we were all waiting for you to date her!! Maybe even marry her!! But now you fucking ruined everything dating someone else! And she is fucking broken hearted!! You fucking hurt her!"- Frank yelled, his nostrils were flaring, and he even cracked his knuckles.
- "Frank, I don't really follow what you are saying, but I can assure you, I am not dating."
- "She already told me everything! You made her cry!!"
- "Who?"- I was so lost in that conversation I wasn't sure I followed him.
- "(Y/N)!! You broke her heart! And now I'm gonna have to break your bones!!"- the way Frank threatened me sounded funny, but it wasn't, at all, why? 'Cos I knew he meant it.
- "Wait!!"- I took a few steps back and raised my hands in a sign of defeat- "Stop it! I am not dating anyone!"
- "Don't lie to me, man. That will just make shit worst."
- "I am not lying! I'm just confused about all this... why would you say I'm dating."
- "(Y/N) told me yesterday."
I stared at Frank, speechless. My eidetic memory going a hundred miles, trying to find a moment in time that gave (Y/N) the impression I had a girlfriend.
- "But... I am not."
- "Then who is Agent Seaver?"- I froze and widened my eyes as Frank crossed his arms on his chest one more time and didn't move his eyes from mine.
- "Oh shit!!"- the curse was a whisper Frank read as a confirmation.
- "And you thought you could keep it from her?"
- "What? No! I am not dating Seaver! I don't even like her!!"- and for the first time since we started arguing, Frank gave me the chance to talk.
- "And why would (Y/N) say that?"
- "I have no idea!!! She hasn't spoken to me this whole week!! Not since I saw her making out with that random guy last Friday."
- "What?! She did what?!"- I feel like a blabbermouth telling Frank what her friend had done, but in my defense, (Y/N) had given him wrong information, and I had to set the record straight.
- "Can you explain to me what the fuck is going on between you two? 'Cos she didn't mention any of that!"
- "Beer?"
Ever since Frank and Mikey were my friends, I always had beers in my fridge. I didn't drink much, but I liked being ready in case they showed up. And they did, 'cos they were my friends.
I stood next to the fridge in the kitchen and took a sip of my beer. Frank stared at me from the other side of the room and waited for my explanation. So I tried to start from the very beginning.
- "I don't know why (Y/N) thinks I'm dating Ashley Seaver, but I am not. I barely talk to her."
- "Who is she?"
- "A young agent Emily is training in the BAU... she and (Y/N) don't get along from the start 'cos Seaver's dad killed Mrs. (Y/L/N)'s sister back in college."
- "What?!"- Frank was in shock.
- "Yeah, it's been pretty awkward since day one."
- "And what? She tried to apologize, and (Y/N) nearly killed her?"
- "That was day one. Everything went downhill from there. But I don't get why she thinks we are dating. I barely talk to Seaver. I specifically asked our unit chief not to pair me with her at any case or task to make sure (Y/N) wouldn't think I liked her."
- "Clearly, that didn't work,"- Frank pointed out the obvious and grabbed his phone- "We should ask (Y/N) why..."
- "No!! Please don't!! I don't want her to know we are talking about this,"- I almost choked on the beer when I heard him say that and nearly jumped to take the phone from his hand.
- "Why?"- I didn't have a reason. I just didn't want to do anything that might actually make things worse.
- "Because..."- I didn't pronounce another sentence. I literally deflated after just one word.
- "Shit, that's deep,"- Frank joked and sipped his beer- "If you are not dating Seaver, why haven't you told (Y/N) you love her?"
I opened my mouth to argue but stopped in my tracks and simply shrugged. It felt useless to deny it anymore. Apparently, everybody could see it but (Y/N). And if she did see it, then it just meant one thing:
- "Because she doesn't love me back. Now she is the one dating some random guy she met at a party."
- "The one she kissed Friday?"- Frank raised an eyebrow as I just nodded- "She probably did that out of anger is she thought you were dating Seaver."
- "You didn't see her, Frank. She didn't look hurt at all. She actually looked like she was enjoying it."
- "Well... I didn't see her, and you are right about that. But I've seen her for the last... five years or so. She loves you. You should ask her out on a date, finally."
- "Why would she go out with me?"- I asked, embarrassed of facing my feelings so openly in front of Frank. But he just shrugged and said.
- "I just said so, 'cos she loves you."
Now that was just painful to hear, especially 'cos Frank actually meant it.
- "She doesn't."- I whispered and sipped my beer.
- "Sorry, but I wasn't asking you if you thought she loved you. I am telling you, she does. Now, if you don't want to believe it, that's an entirely different story.
The way Frank looked at me, saying everything so lightly, like it wasn't a big deal at all, shocked me. He had always been upfront about pretty much everything since day one. But still, that day, I wasn't prepared for that. I stayed quiet, looking at the floor, not knowing what to say.
- "Shit! You really don't believe she has feelings for you!! Are you blind?!"
- "Frank, she is my best friend in the whole world. I don't want to lose her..."
- "Why would you lose her? Just 'cos you love her?"
- "If she doesn't feel the same... and I tell her how I feel..."- I started mumbling, but Frank snorted, frustrated.
- "She is so fucking in love with you; it's hard not making fun of it!! She way she looks at you, how she is always worried about you!"
- "She does the same for you, guys."
- "I've met that woman since when we were kids, and believe me, she has never treated us the way she treats you. We are still waiting for her to bake us birthday cakes. She bakes yours every year. Last year's cake was sick! She fucking made the whole Tell-tale heart scene on your fucking cake and hid a heart in the middle of it!! You know what she did for my birthday? She wrapped the guitar strings she got me. That was it. If that doesn't tell you how in love she is with you, I've got a fucking list of things she has done for you all these years! So fucking deal with it and tell her what you feel!"
- "I can't! I just can't do that!"- I yelled back at Frank, for once opening up about what I really felt- "Every time I look at her, and she smiles, my whole brain turns to mush! I can't tell her I love her 'cos she will laugh. A girl like her deserves everything a man can give her! Have you seen me? She deserves so much better!!"
I'm not gonna lie. It felt good finally saying what I felt out loud. Like a weight had been lifted from my chest. Frank just walked over and tapped on my back a few times, nodding.
- "She fucking loves you! You should be with her! That's it! Why are you overthinking this?!"
- "'Cos I don't wanna ruin it!"
- "You two have wasted like four years! I told her I wanted you two to date since the day I fucking met you! She had to ditch Paul and date you! But she is so fucking convinced you don't love her, she is..."
- "What?"- my heart stopped at those words- "Did she say so?"
- "She did, in fact, yell to me I had to stop telling her you loved her 'cos she knew it was a lie, and that's why she was in so much pain. When did that happen, you ask? Fucking yesterday, so don't come here and tell me she is dating some random guy she kissed at a party when she is clearly in love with you."
I don't know how to explain what that felt like. It was heartbreaking and, at the same time... encouraging?
- "She loves me?"- I asked Frank, still not fully understanding our conversation.
- "Doc, she fucking went behind your boss's back to stay with you in Las Vegas to help you figure out the case of a kid you thought your dad had killed. She fought Gideon when he told her she was a bad influence for you. She hates Lila Archer's movies because of you. I've seen her yell at the tv!"
- "What?"- that was too much information.
- "Just please, fix this shit and tell her you love her"
- "How?"- I honestly asked 'cos I didn't know how to do that. Frank frowned and finished his beer, leaving the bottle on the counter.
- "I don't know, man. Give her a romantic speech about what a big ass you've been all this time thinking she didn't feel the same, ask her to forgive you, and fucking kiss her!!"
- "Ok... how do I do that?"
- "I don't know, doc! You are the genius here!"
- "Actually, I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified... and I have no idea what to do..."
- "Yeah, clearly, this is not your forte. I'll give you that"- I shook my head as Frank stared at me, finally a smile curling on his lips.
- "You know everything she likes. There's no way you can go wrong. Just go to her house and tell her the words she wants to hear: I love you."
I nodded and tried to engrave those simple instructions in my head 'cos I knew I was going to ruin it: go there, say I love you. That was it. It was simple. I could do that. Right?
- "Do you need a ride?"- Frank asked and threw me my jacket.
- "Yes... I think I do."
- "Ok, doc, let's do this!"
(Y/N)'s point of view
I held my cup of tea with both hands and smiled, finally relaxing. That was just what I needed after a long miserable day. I sat on the couch, resting my feet on the table right in front of me, and sighed.
- "Sure, make yourself home."- Lu joked as she walked over with a bowl of popcorn and sat by my side.
- "Hey! I took off my shoes! I know you hate it when I leave footprints on your furniture."
- "How considered!!"- Lu joked as I grinned - "You should definitely come more often then."
- "I promise I will..."
- "And when are you gonna talk to the doc?"- I simply shrugged and focused on the tv in front of me.
- "(Y/N), you do realize you just spent two hours finally coming to your senses, right? I don't care if it's 'cos your boss is pushing you to do it. You have to tell Spencer you love him."
I pouted and groaned, but I knew she was right.
- "First, I have to cancel my date with James."
- "Yeah, do that now."
- "No, I don't wanna face reality today. I'll call him tomorrow around noon. I'm gonna tell him I'm on a case out of town, and I won't be able to make it for dinner."
- "Why don't you just tell him you are not interested 'cos you are in love with your best friend?"- I looked at Lu and widened my eyes- "Oh, come on!! We already passed the initial shock. We all knew you've been in love with Spencer for what seems to be ages!! I knew you loved him since you have him the scarf you knitted."
- "That was ages ago!"- I smiled and sighed- "He still wears it every winter"
- "Of course, he does, 'cos he loves you."
- "Do you really think he does?"
- "Are you serious? That man has been crazy for you since day one! He has been unconditional to you! You two can talk about your nerdy things for hours! Watching you is actually endearing. I had never seen two people just looking at each other with such love before! So please! Just do the right thing and tell him you love him."
I sighed and closed my eyes. I had concluded I had to tell Spencer I loved him because Hotch was right; it was affecting my work. I had to put an end to all that nonsense. Lu kept telling me Spencer would tell me he loved me too, but I was sure he wouldn't. Still, each time she tried to convince me, she made a point.
- "And he took you to Hawaii."
- "He didn't even touch me."
- "So? He hates the beach! The man hates the sun, the sand, and the seawater, and what did he do? He took you for ten days to a resort to the beach 'cos that's what you wanted."
- "His doctor told him the sea breeze was good for his lungs after the whole anthrax incident."
- "Anthrax, my ass! He wanted to make you happy, no matter if that meant being miserable for ten days. If that shit ain't love, then I have no idea what it is!!"
Lu was mad. She had cursed. I looked at her and just nodded.
- "And when you two have your first kid, I wanna be the godmother."
- "Lu, aren't you going a little fast?"
- "No. You two have been too slow with our confessions, so it's time someone speeds this up."
I drove back home around midnight. I was weary, and my body needed a good six hours of sleep after that miserable day. But I knew I wasn't going to get much rest. The idea of telling Spencer how I really felt was too scary, and I wasn't sure I would be able to go through with the plan. I didn't even have a plan. I just knew I had to do it before Hotch took the matter into his hands. Whatever that meant.
It was sad getting to my empty apartment. It felt cold and impersonal. I missed having Spencer around. We hadn't talked in a week, and I had never felt so alone in my entire life. If things didn't go well, I thought I could get a cat. I had always wanted one but never actually decided to take the big step and adopt one. I could go to the shelter and get a kitty.
I poured myself one last cup of tea and walked to my bedroom. Spencer's shirt I had worn as a pajama the night before was still on my bed, and I guessed there was no harm if I wore it again. I got under the covers and wrapped my own arms around my waist. I wondered if there would be a day when Spencer would cuddle me to sleep in our shared bed. Not like friends, like we had done so many times. It was embarrassing to think how many of those nights I had fallen asleep pretending Spencer was my boyfriend.
- "I am in love with you."- I whispered and sighed, closing my eyes.
What would Spencer do if I ever said those terrifying words out loud? I could almost see him freaking out in front of me. He wouldn't know what to do or what to say. If he didn't love me back, he would try to find the most careful way to reject me. He would reassure me he loved me, just not like that. But our friendship would be ruined anyway. I could never see him in the eyes after feeling his rejection. If he didn't love me, I was going to lose my best friend.
Sometimes, I felt Spencer was my soulmate. Lu was right; I had denied my feelings for too long. Had I wasted years of happiness with my honey bunny? Was it too late to tell him how I really felt?
I practiced my speech until two in the morning, rolling in my cold bed, alone, until I finally fell asleep. At seven am, I looked at my reflection in the mirror as I got ready for the day. That Friday was the day I was going to tell Spencer I loved him. I had to look my best. So I put on a lovely dress that always made me feel pretty, though I couldn't find my matching and favorite silk scarf. I did my hair nicely and put on a decent amount of makeup, primarily to hide the big dark rings under my eyes.
I stopped by Spencer's favorite coffee shop on my way to work and got him a cup of coffee and a box of donuts. I took a deep breath as I got out of my car and reminded myself I was doing the right thing. My plan was simple: I was going to give Spencer the coffee and the donuts as an apology for not talking to him in the lastest days. I was going to cancel my date with James, and I was going to ask Spencer out. Maybe like a date, and confess my true feelings for him.
But my plan was ruined before I even reached the main building. I walked through the parking lot and saw Spencer getting out of Ashley's car, holding a cup of coffee. They looked like the lovely young couple they were, after getting breakfast together... after spending the night together...
My broken heart kept breaking as I stared at the scene from a safe distance. I was right. I was too late to fight for Spencer. I had wasted all the chances I had ever had to be with him, and now I couldn't ruin his happiness. If he wanted to be with Ashley, I had to do the right thing and get out of his way.
I hurried up inside the main building and rushed into the elevator. I took deep breaths, trying to hold the tears inside. Whatever happened, I was not going to let Spencer see me cry. I grabbed the box of donuts and the coffee and hesitated when I reached the bullpen. Hotch was already in his office, talking with Rossi. I looked around, knowing Reid was about to get in there with Ashley, and I needed to hide from them.
- "I'm so glad you are here!!"- Penelope turned from her computer, surprised to see me rushing into her office.
- "Hey, munchkin!"
- "How is my favorite tech genius this morning? I got you breakfast!"- I could pretend to be hyper and happy, right?
- "And I love you so much!!"- Penelope smiled and grabbed the coffee- "Smells... delicious!"
- "Only the best for my dearest friend"- she looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
- "Are you ok?"
- "Of course!! I had a good night of sleep, and tonight, if no fucking psycho killers ruin my day, I am going to have a date with a hot guy who is so into me. He already sent me an expensive present, which by no means makes me feel pressured, not even a little! No!"
I freaked out immediately, thinking I had a date with a guy I didn't even like.
- "Ok, baby, sit down"- Penelope tapped on the chair next to her and looked at me with worried eyes- "Are you getting cold feet about this date?"
- "I just... I don't know how I feel about that date. I was ready to cancel, and now... I think I just should go."
I definitely wasn't telling Garcia what had happened earlier; how I was going to tell Spencer I love him until I saw him in Ashley's car. Why? Well, first, I didn't want to cry at work. Second, she would say I had to tell Spencer how I felt. And third, she would tell Morgan.
Penelope sipped her coffee and frowned. Still, she didn't say a word. Instead, she looked right into my eyes and whispered.
- "If you don't wanna go out with him, you don't have to."
- "I know. I just wish I wanted to... do you know what I mean?"
- "I do... "- Garcia nodded and sighed- "Munchkin, you don't have to do anything you don't want to, really."
- "Thank you"- I rested my head on her shoulder and just sighed. We both stayed quiet for a moment until my dear friend questioned.
- "Why did you give me Spencer's coffee?"
- "Wh... what?"- I felt so caught I actually stuttered.
- "This is not almond milk. This is filled with dairy, both milk, and cream... and the amount of sugar in this is..."
- "Oh, please!! Can you just pretend I fooled you?!"- I was mortified- "It's fucking eight in the morning, and the day has already turned as awful as it could be."
- "Come on, baby"- Garcia tried to soothe me- "You know life can always get worse, so let's start by being honest. Why didn't you give Spencer the breakfast you got for him?"
- "For not being a profiler, you are creepy good reading people, you know?"
- "Yes, I am a genius. You should have noticed that earlier in life. That wasn't so bright from you, profiler,"- she teased, trying to make me laugh. And I actually chuckled.
- "Good, I got a smile. Now, tell me what happened."
- "But I don't wanna cry at work... and Hotch already called me out for being unprofessional about this whole Spencer's thing."
- "What? When?"
- "Yesterday, he said I have to tell Spencer what I actually feel for him, or he is gonna take matters into his hands."
- "What did he mean by that?"
- "I have no idea! But it sounded serious,"- I sighed, defeated, and sipped my coffee- "So after zero sleeping for days and a very awkward talk with our unit chief, plus the threats from one of my closest friends, I had decided to tell Spencer that I..."
I couldn't even say it
- "What I feel for him, today."
- "Today?! With this breakfast I am eating?"- and of course, PG freaked out.
- "Well, I was going to give him food as an offering for ignoring him this week... then I was going to ask him out tonight, and that's when I wanted to tell him... but..."
I paused and took a deep breath, doing my best not to cry. I really didn't want to show how hurt I was, though I was almost sure my dear friend Garcia could see it clearly in my eyes.
- "Just please, don't tell Morgan."
- "My adorable munchkin, I don't tell everything about you and our resident genius to Derek!"
- "Yeah, but... I just... feel so..."
- "Good morning, Garcia!"- I bit my lips as soon as I heard Ashley's voice storming into my friend's office- "I brought you coffee!"
Penelope held my hand and squeezed it as soon as she noticed my mood shift.
- "Hi!"- and my dear friend was so awkward it could have actually been fun if I wasn't so angry.
- "Oh, hi (Y/N), I didn't know you were here already..."
- "Yeah, we were having breakfast, actually,"- I pointed at our coffees and donuts, and Ashley nodded, blushing.
- "Sorry... I didn't know you were here... I didn't get you any..."
- "No, don't worry, Ashley. It's not like you know you I actually work here too,"- I wasn't even trying to be polite with her anymore. I hated her. Hotch was going to be so mad...
Seaver just stared at us and nodded in silence. Then, she turned around and left, closing the door behind her back. I groaned and nearly hit my head against the desk.
- "Wow, you are not even pretending for the cameras."
- "That was me trying not to kill her, actually. If she walked out on her own, then it was a very successful encounter."
- "What the hell, (Y/N)?"
- "I was gonna tell him, and then I saw him getting out of her car in the parking lot..."
- "Spencer Reid?!"- Penelope freaked out. I just nodded- "Dr. Spencer Reid?? The nerd in love with you? Getting out of her car?"
- "And carrying breakfast, like a lovely young couple. I bet they banged last night."
- "No way!"
- "Why not?!"
- "Because he loves you, and no one calls it "bang" anymore!" Where have you been?"
- "Penelope!"- my friend smiled at me and offered me a donut, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and resting her head against mine.
- "My dearest munchkin. Don't let this stop you. You were on a mission this morning."
- "They banged, fucked, had sex, call it what you want!! I am not telling Reid anything!! And I guess I'm going out with James tonight 'cos... if I don't, I'm gonna die alone, and my cat is gonna eat me!!"
I was nonsensical. I knew it. But there was nothing that could stop me from being absurd. I was scared and hurt. I actually thought I was going to go crazy.
I stayed with Penelope for a while, trying to cool my head. I didn't want to snap with Seaver again. I knew it had been a mistake. I saved Hotch a donut and asked him if I could work in JJ's old office. I told him I wanted to concentrate and that I really needed the time alone. Of course, he could see through my bullshit.
- "I told you, if you don't fix things with Reid, I am going to intervene."
- "I am going to do it, sir. Just... after I get all this paperwork done. I'll talk to him this weekend."- I looked into Hotch's eyes, trying my best to lie correctly. Do you have any idea what lying to the best profiler in the FBI felt like? It was mission impossible.
- "Good, (Y/N). I'm glad to know you've made the right decision."
- "Thank you, sir."
Spencer's point of view
After I got out of Frank's car, holding a bouquet of flowers, I forced him to help me get in our way over. It took me almost half an hour to walk from the sidewalk to the door of (Y/N)'s building.
- "I am in love with you,"- I whispered and shook my head, knowing she deserved better than that simple confession. I took the stairs, trying to improve my speech.
- "I have always been in love with you, from the minute I first saw you,"- I whispered and wiped off the sweat from my hands against the fabric of my jacket. It sounded terrible. I knew I was going to get it all wrong.
- "What am I doing?"- I stopped in my tracks before I reached her floor- I can't do this.
I literally froze and felt sick in my stomach. I couldn't do that. What was I doing? How had I let Frank talk to me into doing something so stupid? What was I getting into? I couldn't do it.
For a minute or so, I stood in the middle of the stairs, not able to move or formulate a single coherent thought. I was trying to
But if I didn't, and she loved me... I was going to lose everything I had ever dreamed of and that I never imagined I could have. No, I had to do it. I had to tell (Y/N) I loved her. And I had to do it that day. "Your head is spinning because it's full of ghosts," I remembered Julio's words and took a deep breath.
I ran the last steps of the stairs and reached her door, panting. But I didn't wait. I knocked on her door and waited.
- (Y/N), it's Spencer. Are you home?- but nothing. So I knocked again.
- Chipmonk, please open the door. I know I've been an asshole this whole week, but I need to talk to you. There is something you should know.
But nothing. Just silence. I knocked a few more times and patiently waited. No answer. I thought about it for a second and took the key she had given me years ago in case of any emergency. I had ended up using that key a million times, not really for many emergencies. I used it to prepare her surprise birthday party many times or come in when she knew I was coming. Or when I stayed over for the weekend, and it was my turn to pick up something from the store. So that day, I used it and opened her door.
Walking into (Y/N)'s apartment felt like walking into her arms. It smelled like her, and it felt like home. I took a look around, calling out her name. But she wasn't there.
Her place was kind of messy. There were many blankets on the couch and some clothes lying around. Man's clothes. For a moment, my heart sank. I thought maybe James was spending time there too. But soon, I realized...It was my clothes. I walked into her room and saw her unmade bed. My old red sweater was on her pillow, and some of the shirts she liked were close as well.
Why was she surrounded by my things? Did she... miss me that much? Could it be Frank was actually right? She loved me and missed me? I looked around and tried to find confirmation, though I felt overwhelmed by emotion at the moment.
(Y/N) loved me. There was a chance she actually loved me the way I did.
I fell on her bed and contained tears that almost started falling down my eyes. There might be a chance she loved me, and I refused to ruin it. She couldn't find me in her house out of the blue. She deserved better than that. She deserves the world. So I quickly collected all my things and walked to the door to think of a better way to confess my undying love. Undying, cheesy, and yet, honest.
But before I was out, I walked back to her room and opened her closet. If she had all my clothes to think of me, I wanted a souvenir too. My eyes traveled quickly through all the items hanging until her purple satin scarf caught my eye. I loved how she looked on it, and it smelled like her. I hid it in my pocket and walked out of her apartment.
Not even the tiny bouquet of flowers I had gotten her seemed to be enough. Frank said she'd love them, but... it just wasn't good enough for her.
I had a lot of planning to do. And I have no idea where to start. I had high standards to beat. After all, I had read all of the romantic books (Y/N) had in her house and seen all the romantic comedies she loved. All of those more than ten times. So... how was I going to do it? Was I going to pour my heart out to her in the most romantic way possible and finish with:
- "I am just a boy, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love him,"- I said out loud as I poured myself a fresh cup of coffee.
No. That didn't feel right. It had to be better. Who was (Y/N)'s biggest love reference? Mr. Darcy. How had he done it? Well... he didn't do it right the first time, so he started making amends with a letter. I could begin with a letter. After all, I had written (Y/N) many love letters I had never given her in all those years. Letters that contained all my feelings for her as a way of letting it out of my chest. But they were never meant for her to see.
I sat at my desk and grabbed my favorite pen. But before I could actually start writing, I noticed I needed music, romantic music, for inspiration. I picked the same Amy Winehouse vinyl record I had been listening to for the last couple of days and walked back to my seat.
Writing a love letter wasn't easy. Putting facts into words, that's a task I can complete, no questions asked. But that Thursday night, I struggled with every sentence I created. I wasn't a writer and neither a man who had any kind of experience with love or being in love. Less with confessing such feelings. But I had to give my best.
Around one in the morning, I finished the third version of that letter. Frank had texted me to know if things had gone well, but I told him she wasn't home.
- "Don't worry, Paco,"- I said and smiled while holding her silk scarf- "Tomorrow is the day."
My wristwatch said four in the morning when I stopped painting and decided to get into bed. I had to get at least two hours of sleep. Not that (Y/N) had never seen my insomniac face before, but I needed to, at least try, to look presentable for her. After writing, my mind was flooded with emotion, and I couldn't stop thinking about everything we've been through all those years together. (Y/N) and I. we had been best friends for so long, yet, I could now see our friendship had always been a little different. We were closer... sidekicks... lovers without kissing. I needed to feel her hand in mine. Her arms around me. But it was only a few more hours.
Was she going to like me in the morning? I felt butterflies in my stomach just with the idea of confessing my feelings. I set everything ready and went to bed. I barely had the energy to put on my pajamas and turn off the lights. (Y/N)'s scarf wrapped softly on my wrist.
I frowned, baffled and lost, when I opened the door the following morning and found Ashley at the other side.
- "Can I talk to you for a moment?"- she whispered and handed me a fresh cup of coffee- "I brought you a peace offering for being so obnoxious the other day."
It was clear Ashley was honest, and she was embarrassed about her behavior. Otherwise, she wouldn't have shown up at my door. So I smiled and nodded, trying to show her I wasn't mad at her.
- "Water under the bridge"- I whispered and held the coffee she gave me. No milk, no cream, no sugar. Just like (Y/N) liked it. Ashley noticed how I prepared coffee at the BAU but never realized I wasn't making myself a cup. I was making (Y/N)'s.
- "I am very embarrassed... and I really like working with you... regardless of everything I said. I don't..."
- "We can pretend that never happened,"- I interrupted her, and she just smiled and nodded.
- "I would like that. I am sorry I was rude... Do you want a ride to work? We are a little late."
I thought about it for a second. I wanted to stop by and get (Y/N) more flowers, but we were late, and I wasn't planning on telling her how I felt until later that night.
- "Sure, let's go."
(Y/N) was nowhere to be found that day, and that immediately got me on my nerves. Her things were on her desk, but she wasn't there.
- "Hey García, have you seen (Y/N)?"- I walked in and watched her stay still, shocked.
- "Hello there, Dr. Reid. How are you today? Nice to see you too."
- "Sorry!"- I cut her an awkward smile and waved- "Hi! How are you?"
- "The damage is already done, Dr. Reid. Clearly, you are not here looking for my companionship."
- "Sorry, I just haven't seen (Y/N) today. You?"
- "Yes, my pretty chipmunk was here earlier, and that's all I know. Why?"- Garcia raised an eyebrow and looked into my eyes- "Why are you so interested in her?"
I didn't know if it was because I had spent most of the night planning to confess (Y/N) my feelings, but Penelope's question sounded suspicious. I tried to act normal and just frowned.
- "I just wanted to know if she was here 'cos I haven't seen her around."
- "She had work to do, and I think she had a meeting with Hotch."
- "Again?!"- I couldn't help but raise my voice, scared of the idea of (Y/N) being scolded by Hotch for two days in a row.
- "But she had a meeting with him yesterday!"- I argued, but Garcia just shrugged.
- "That's all I know. Also, she brought donuts"- I stared at her dish. Chocolate frosted donut with sprinkles. My favorites.
- "Do you know if she... got one of those for me?"
- "I don't know, why don't you ask her?"- Garcia questioned back and raised an eyebrow
- "I would, but I don't know where she is."
- "Besides... didn't you have breakfast already?"
- "There's always room for a donut... for my favorite donut."
Penelope raised an eyebrow, trying to read beyond my words. Was I just talking about donuts, or was I talking about (Y/N)? Did she actually mean breakfast? Of course, she did. Garcia wasn't implying anything else! I was just overthinking everything!
Right?
- "I'll see if she is still with Hotch."
- "Hey, Reid"- Penelope called out my name when I was about to reach the door- "When you see her, you should tell her it's her breakfast you are interested in. No other."
I stared at Garcia and opened my mouth. But no word came from it. I just know I blushed and nodded, leaving her office soon after.
But I didn't find (Y/N) during that whole day. And it was both frustrating and nerve-wracking. The letter I wrote her kept burning me, as I felt it in my jacket's pocket, beating like a second heart. I wasted a whole paperwork day trying to concentrate, but I couldn't. I managed to get the least work done in years, 'cos my mind focused on her. On (Y/N). In her absence.
By the end of the day, I had lost all hope of finding her around and did what all desperate men would do. I waited by her car in the parking lot.
Around six-thirty, I heard her shoes approaching the vehicle, and my heart stopped when I saw her eyes in mind, nearly shocked to find me there.
- "Hi"- that was all I managed to say. My voice was a whisper that even I barely heard.
- "What are you doing here?"
- "I was waiting for you. I thought it was obvious."
I smiled and tried to ease her mood. But it didn't work. She looked so mad at me, though those few words were the longest conversation we had shared in over a week. Why was she mad at me? Was it too cheesy to tell her she looked adorable when she was mad? Of course, it was. I still took a mental note to tell her that later on. Maybe later that same evening if things went well.
- "Why?"- (Y/N) frowned and opened her car, and threw her purse in the back seat.
- "I wanted to talk to you."
- "I can't, Spencer. I am late,"- she called me by my name, and that reality check hurt me.
- "Late for your date with James?"
- "I don't feel like talking about that with you. Goodbye, Spencer."
- "Wait. (Y/N), stop."- I held her arm and felt her whole body shiver under my touch. I would have held her longer, but she pulled her arm from my grip and frowned- "Why are you so mad at me?"
- "Mad? I am not mad!"- I know she was a good liar, but she was so mad her whole body language gave it away, along with her high-pitched voice.
- "I think you are... Why?"- I tried to move closer, but she crossed her arms on her chest and stood next to the opened passenger door. Ready to escape.
- "I am just in a hurry, Spencer. That's it."
There it was, the confirmation of her anger. My name, leaving her lips with fury. I wanted to hold her. I needed to feel her close, with a desperation I had never experienced before. I was craving for her. And there she was, right in front of me, refusing to even look at me.
- "Can you just... give me a chance to talk to you?"- my words came as a whisper, almost as a beg.
- "Isn't someone else waiting for you?"
- "Me? No. No one,"- I answered, confused by what she was implying- "I just need to talk to you. Please."
- "Sorry, I'm late. But... maybe..."- (Y/N) hesitated and looked at someone else walking close to us. I didn't even bother. I couldn't take my eyes off her.
- "Would you... would you take this?"- I held the letter and gave it to her. She hesitated before taking it, and my heart nearly burst at the thought of her holding my love confession in her hands.
- "What's this?"
- "Can you read it?"- but it only lasted for a second. (Y/N) shook her head and gave me back my letter.
- "Not now, I'm late."
- "(Y/N), please."
- "No, Reid. I can't read this now. I am late."
- "Please, (Y/N). I need to tell you something."
- "And I need to leave. So, bye."
(Y/N) slipped through my fingers like water. I stayed still, staring at her as she disappeared, and cursed myself under my breath for being so petrified to act. I wanted to cry. I was so frustrated with myself.
- "I love you. I don't want you to go out with him. You should be with me."
It was liberating to say those words out loud even though she wasn't there to listen.
- "Nice kid. Now next time, say it when she can hear you."
I recognized Morgan's voice behind me. And I guess I could have felt embarrassed if I wasn't so frustrated already. And most of all, so mad at myself. I had practiced. I had tried. I knew what I had to say. But when I was with her, I just couldn't. And now he was out there on her way to date another man.
I felt Derek's hand on my shoulder, tapping on it a few times. I sighed and nodded.
- "Come on. First-round is on me."
It only took Morgan two rounds to get me talking. To be fair, I wanted to speak. He had already heard what I wanted (Y/N) to know.
- "I just wanna tell her I love her. I need to tell her what I feel for her 'cos now I can see there might be a chance she loves me too."
- "Might be a chance?"- Morgan frowned and shook his head- "Kid, that woman is head over feet in love with you. And she has been for years. I just can't believe you've wasted all these years!!"
- "I can't believe I am sitting here with you when she is out there on a date with some other man!!"- I nearly yelled and drank what was left of my third whisky, immediately raising my hand, asking for another round. Derek raised an eyebrow as he stared at me, and somehow it felt like he was mad at me for something.
- "Kid. You know I love you, but you've been so fucking stupid and blind it's been painful for us to watch! You've had so many chances to be with her! She has been crazy in love with you ever since she was dating that other guy!!"
- "Paul? That was ages ago!"- I said ages to sound less obsessive, but I knew exactly how long it had been since they had broken up. It was also the amount of time I had spent without using Dilaudid.
- "Well, she loved you even back there! I bet you are the reason they broke up!"
- "No, I wasn't"- I sighed, thinking I wished I was, but I knew (Y/N) had broken up with him 'cos she didn't love him.
- "Why are you so sure?"
- "She told me"- Morgan raised an eyebrow and looked at me so severely- "What?"
- "Back then, that girl got into trouble for arguing with Lila Archer. Remember?"
- "Eidetic memory, Morgan. Of course, I remember."
- "Sorry, genius"- the waitress arrived with our fourth round, and my body felt way more relaxed by them. Also, my tongue started to slur as I spoke.
- "My pretty pumpkin actually called Lila, and I quote: "annoying, always ignoring our orders, keeping herself in danger, not helping, being a squeamish little princess who is used to do whatever the fuck she wants, and who didn't care to put people around her in danger."- I chuckled remembering that conversation- "And then she joked saying "Of course you were oblivious to all this 'cos you couldn't stop staring at her."
- "Ok, Reid, that's what girls say when they are jealous! And she was clearly jealous of Lila! When she saw you two in that pool? I thought (Y/N) was gonna kill her! I swear I was waiting for her to jump into the pool and end with her!"- Morgan laughed, picturing the scene in his mind. I sipped my whisky, not quite sure he was into something there.
- "I really think she didn't like her 'cos she found her annoying. (Y/N) finds most people annoying."
- "And not you. What does that tell us?"
- "That I am not annoying"- Morgan looked at me and opened his mouth to say something but stayed quiet. And instead, he just chuckled.
- "What about that waitress?"
- "Who?"
- "The one you picked up in the bar with a magic trick?"
- "I didn't pick on her!! I was doing my work and..."
- "And you got her phone number, and she sent you that card with a kiss..."- Morgan stared at me, waiting for a reaction- "Ok, in case you didn't notice, (Y/N) was jealous of her too."
- "She was mad 'cos she said I was unprofessional."
- "Ok, fine, whatever. And now, what's the plan, casanova? When are you telling her you love her?"
- "Now, tonight, after this drink,"- and I hurried to drink it faster.
- "What?"
- "I've got a love letter like Darcy gave to Lizzy."
- "Who the fuck are those?"
- "Her favorite characters from her favorite book"- I explained, annoyed, and drunk- "They were in love but never acted on it 'cos they were both proud and held severe prejudices against each other. So when he told her he loved her, it was a mess. Then, he wrote her a letter trying to explain to her why he had been nonsensical. Then she read it and realized she loved him, but thought it was too late, so both of them acted like nothing was going on until they realized they had been fools, and Darcy confessed his love, and she told him she loved him too..."
There was a blank stare in Morgan's eyes when I was done speaking.
- "How many times have you read that?"
- "Today? Eleven"
The way Morgan wide opened his eyes, shocked, made me think maybe I had overreacted with how many times I read Pride and Prejudice. But he didn't say anything, just nodded.
- "Ok, kid, you can't talk to her today."
- "Why now? I was actually going to drop by her apartment and read the letter."
- "Spencer, you are drunk."
- "I am not!"- I was, in fact, intoxicated.
- "Prove it!"- Derek dared me, chuckling
- "How? Want me to walk on a line and touch my nose with my fingers?"
- "Go talk to those girls over there"- he pointed at a bunch of women who kept flirting with him from a distance at the bar counter.
- "Why would I do that? I am in love! I just told you I am about to confess my true feelings to the one woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I swear, Morgan, if she says she loves me, I'm gonna ask her to marry me."
- "What?!"- my friend nearly choked with his drink.
- "Yeah! I've wasted too much time! I wanna marry that woman! In fact! I'm gonna tell her that right now!"- I stood up too quickly, and the whole room started spinning. Morgan grabbed my arm and forced me to sit down again.
- "Hold on, Reid! You need a round of water before we leave this bar."
- "No, Derek, you don't get it. I finally see everything clear now!! It's all clear!! I've loved her for so long... and maybe Frank is right, maybe she has loved me all along."
- "Dude, that's literally what I've been telling you for the last hour!!"- Morgan nearly yelled, frustrated.
- "Yeah, but Frank has been her best friend since they were four! Can you imagine? Little (Y/N) at four, playing... our kid would be so cute if they are like her."
- "Ok, Reid, you are creeping me out"
- "Why?"- I couldn't understand why Morgan was so shocked. I thought he wanted to know how I felt.
- "For the last five years, you've been in love with her, and you've denied it over and over again. And now suddenly, you get drunk and spill your heart open."
- "I just... I don't want these ghosts haunting me anymore. Julio was right!"
- "You lost me, man"
- "Our last case in Miami. My head was killing me, and Julio knew it. He said it was this job and everything I was bottling up that was driving me insane. Now I can see it clearly! I have to tell (Y/N) how I feel for her! That woman is the love of my life! She saved my life!!"
- "Calm down, Spencer."
- "Calm down?? She is out there with that guy!! What if they kiss again? What if they fuck?! No way! We have to stop her. I have to stop her!!"
I don't know how I got out of that chair and stormed out of the bar.
- "Reid! Wait!"
(Y/N)'s point of view
James was hot. Yes, that's true. I can't deny what's real. I saw him talking at the other side of the table, being charming, being fucking perfect. And there I was, not feeling anything. Nothing. Good old (Y/N) a few years ago would have been crazy for that guy. Before I met Spencer. But after Spencer.... There was nothing after him. And I could see it. I could feel it inside of me. How he had ruined me without even touching me. Does that make any kind of sense?
- "So, what do you do when you are not fighting crime?"- James asked me with the most charming smile. I just sighed and tried to look interested. I honestly wanted to try. But I soon realized everything I could answer included Spencer.
- "I am a big nerd, so I'm getting ready to go to Comicon this year."
- "In costume?!"- he widened his eyes and smiled, excited
- "Yes, of course. In costume is the only way to go to Comicon,"- in costume with Reid...
- "And which is your costume this year?"
- "Slave Leia"- James smiled mischievously and ran his tongue through his lips.
- "I won't miss this Comicon."
- "I also like hanging out with my friends. I usually host dinner parties 'cos I love cooking,"- with Spencer...
- "That's awesome, 'cos I love eating. Are you into board games?"
- "Yeah! Love them! We usually play a lot."
We. Spencer, and I.
I was doomed. I was never going to love anyone else. Spencer was overshadowing everything I might like about James. What did I actually like about James? That he was interested in me. Was Spencer interested in me? Lu said so. Garia said so. Emily said so. But I didn't. Why? Why couldn't I believe Spencer might love me? Was I terrified to lose him as a friend, or was I petrified to lose myself in him? Was I scared to be loved by him? To be happy? To have someone to love me, want me, and make me happy?
Was I scared of being loved by Reid? Of being happy with him? 'Cos each time I thought about it, it didn't feel like Spencer was just a guy I had a crush on or a guy I had fallen for. It felt like he was the love of my life, my happy ending. My forever after. And that scared the shit out of me. I've always been scared I would ruin the love of my life like my parents had destroyed their happiness. I knew the job was going to get in the middle. And I was already in love with my job.
Well... so was Reid.
In fact, we shared that love. We did everything together, including working. And god, I loved being in the field with him. I hated the fear of losing him I often felt whenever we were together, but the thrill of catching an unsub with Reid, of saving lives together. Nothing could ever compare to that. Well, maybe sex with Spencer, but I didn't know it for a fact. I wished I knew...
- "(Y/N)?"- James was looking at me, waiting for an answer. But I never got the questions. I was just lost in the thought of Spencer.
- "Sorry, you were saying?"
- "I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere else... Maybe you could show me your record collection."
Dinner was over. We had our dessert and coffee. A part of me felt I had to say yes, 'cos I felt pushed to like him. But I just couldn't force it. I knew it was meant to turn out badly.
- "Actually, I'm tired... I'm sorry. It was a long week and included a trip to Miami to catch a lunatic..."
- "Of course, not a problem. I'll take you home."
The drive back to my apartment was mostly silent. It wasn't awkward, but it wasn't really comfortable either. It was just me feeling Spencer's absence. And it hurt in ways I hadn't realized just yet. It made me wonder if my life without him was destined to be like that.
- "I had a great time tonight,"- I said when James parked outside my building.
- "Me too..."- he turned to me and cut me a big smile, as his eyes locked with mine. I could see him leaning in, and my whole body refused to kiss him. So I opened my door and nearly jumped out of his car.
- "Ok, it's getting late."
- "I'll walk you to your door."
- "No, you don't have to."- but James was already by my side, holding my hand (something I absolutely hated) and walking with me to my building.
- "I have to tell you, (Y/N). I was hoping to meet you at Anderson's party."
Oh shit, I didn't really want to go through that conversation with him. I thought I could just ghost out of that dinner, but James wasn't making things easy. So I opened my building's door, and he followed me in. Shit.
- "I don't know if he told you anything but... I just had the biggest crush on..."
- "James, you don't have to..."
- "But I want to. I just feel like we could go somewhere. I know it's only our first date, but I think you are the most incredible woman I've ever met. And I would be ecstatic if you would want to go out with me again."
I sighed and turned to him. We were standing by my door, and I could feel he wanted to kiss me goodnight.
- "James. I feel flattered, but... I can't do this."
- "What? Why?"
- "Because I am in love with someone else... I've been in love for a while now, but I never thought I might have to actually act on it until now..."
James stared into my eyes, confused, hurt, and... sad. I nodded and did the kindest thing I could under the circumstances and hugged him.
- "I am sorry. You are a fantastic guy, and I'm sure if I wasn't in love already, this would have worked, but..."
- "It's ok, (Y/N). Really. You don't have to apologize. I was just one date, no harm done."- my date kissed my cheek and smiled- "Besides, I got to meet my favorite profiler."
- "Prentiss?"- I joked, and he chuckled.
- "And what are you gonna do about this mystery guy?"
- "I don't know. I don't think he feels the same... but I think I have to tell him, or I'll go crazy."
- "He would be crazy if he rejects you,"- James whispered and smiled- "Good night, crime fighter."
I closed the door behind my back and let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. I felt bad for James. But I couldn't take care of his feelings when I had been neglecting mine for so long.
What was I supposed to do? I was so tired of overthinking everything. Of being afraid. I put the kettle on to make myself a cup of tea and laid on my couch for a minute. It smelled like Spencer. There was one of his sweaters there. I quickly grabbed it and buried my face in it, pretending it was his neck, and I could even land butterfly kisses on his skin.
I couldn't run from it anymore. I was going to tell Spencer Walter Reid what I felt for him. And I was going to do it the following day. How? With my original plan: I was going to bring his favorite breakfast to his house. I was going to apologize for being a jerk, and I was going to invite him over for dinner. I was going to cook his favorite. Then I was slowly and carefully going to handpick the right words to tell him I am desperately in love with him.
That sounded like a good plan. My phone rang, forcing me to roll on that couch, but I carried Spencer's sweater with me. It was Penelope.
- "Please don't tell me we've got a case."
- "No, munchkin. I just wanted to check on you. What happened to James?"
- "I blew him off- I stood up and walked to the kitchen to make my cup of tea- "It was kind of painful."
- "I'm glad you did anyway. You have to do the right thing."
- "Yeah, I guess,"- I closed the widow 'cos there was a lot of yelling coming from the street.
- "Where are you?- Penelope asked, probably hearing it too.
- "At home, getting ready for bed."
- "What's that noise?"
- "I don't know. I think there's a fight downstairs. Anyway, tomorrow I'm gonna talk with Spencer and tell him everything."
- "Please let me know how that goes!!"- I chuckled as I heard the genuine excitement in her voice.
- "I promise I will. Thank you for checking on me."
- "Anytime, munchkin. Sleep tight."
Spencer's point of view
- "Oh shit! Oh shit!"
I saw (Y/N) getting out of James's car, and Derek had to hold me on my seat to stop me from running over. We were parked outside of her building, and Morgan was still trying to convince me to go home. I told him I would behave and peacefully go home if I saw (Y/N) reaching her home safe and sound... without James.
But no. He was there. I could see him walking with her, hand in hand, to her building.
- "Maybe he is just going to take her to her door,"- Morgan said, trying to calm me down. I clenched my fist and waited in silence for a few seconds. But James didn't leave her at her door. He followed her inside. And that was when I lost it and literally jumped off the car.
- "Reid!! No!! Wait!!"- Derek ran behind me and grabbed my arm. A car passed and honked at us, 'cos it almost ran me over. I wanted to yell, "Fuck you!" but I barely noticed it. My eyes were locked at that building's door.
- "Dude! Come on, get back in the car!"- Derek tried to calm me down.
- "No!"- I argued and kept pulling my arm, trying to get free of his hands. But he wasn't letting me go.
- "You are drunk! You are not thinking straight! Come on!!"
- "No! Let me go! I need to talk to her!
- "What you wanna tell her, you should confess sober, with flowers... and chocolates, or whatever she likes."
- "I can't wait anymore!! I can't wait until it's perfect!! He is going to kiss her again and... and I can't deal with that!!"- I managed to get loose of Derek's hand and ran to (Y/N)'s building the second James walked out of it.
My blood boiled as soon as I saw him, and my first instinct was to punch him, But I managed to suppress it. Instead, I just looked at him threateningly. Or at least that's what I tried to do.
- "What's your problem, dude?"- James frowned as he noticed me staring.
- "You are my problem, dude,"- I answered with a snarky tone as that asshole took a step closer and shook his head.
- "What the fuck?!"
- "Stay the fuck away from (Y/N), James,"- I said, and he widened his eyes, surprised I knew him.
- "Who the hell are you?!"
- "I am the love of her life, and you are in the way of our forever after."
- "Kid, come on"- Derek tried to pull me away, but he was just embarrassing me.
- "Yes, kid. Go with your buddy. Leave (Y/N) to me."
James chuckled and turned around. And I don't know what took over me, but I couldn't control it. I ran to him and pulled his shoulder. I felt the pain of my fist hitting his face, but I didn't care if my knuckles were on fire. All I could feel was the profound pleasure of finally breaking that guy's nose with my own hands.
- "What the fuck?!"- Derek was in shock, and honestly, so was I. I didn't know I had that in me. I had never gotten in a fight that wasn't with an unsub. And still, on the field, I always tried to talk my way out of every conflict.
- "He has to back off! He is getting in the middle of my relationship with my pumpkin!!"- I argued and looked at my hand, knowing it would be sore in the morning. That was when James's fist collided against my jaw, and I felt how my whole body nearly spun like a cartoon with the strength of the blow.
- "Hey! Hey! Stop!"- Derek pulled James away from me as I touched my face, trying to put two and two together.
- "Tell your friend to stay away from me, or I'm gonna break his face!!"
- "You and which army?!"- I yelled and tried to punch him again, but Morgan stayed between us, trying to keep us apart.
- "Ok, ok, calm down, we are leaving! Reid! Come on!!"
- "No!! I am not leaving until I am sure that he is going to stay away from her!!"
- "Stay away from (Y/N)? Deal! Now get the fuck away from me!"- James shoved me on his way to his car, and I nearly hit him again. But Derek stopped me. He grabbed my arms and pushed me to his car.
- "Enough! I'll take you home."
***
DIWK Taglist:
@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @fandomtrash2405 @eyakoroleva @nani-2305
Spencer taglist
@calm-and-doctor
General Taglist
@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561
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Next update: July 7th, 2021
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xseaxwitchxkpop · 3 years ago
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NSFW Alphabet: Sub!Seonghwa Edition
A/N: idk anyone in Ateez who pushes the catboy agenda more than hwa and this precious soul just makes me have cute aggression. Lemme just remind everyone that stage presence ≠ bedroom preference, so he might be a demon on stage but I personally think he's very far from dominant in the bedroom. Also this is framed for a femme!presenting reader.
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A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
A very clingy baby! Even though he's the sub, he would want to hold you instead of the other way around; when you're cleaning up, give him a plushie to snuggle because he just feels very happy holding something. He would also have the most sparkly eyes ever, looking at you with pure love and adoration. He'll also be very hungry, so always have some food on hand and be prepared to be fed by him because "you need it, too, I don't care if you're my domme, lemme feed you and show you my love!"
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He's fave part on himself is probably his eyes because he knows how expressive they are for him and how transparent they are -- his eyes always betray his true emotions and considering he's a more private person, he likes this. His fave part on you would be your breasts, but not in a sexual way; whether you're part of the itty bitty titty committee or big titty gang, he likes them as a comfort thing, groping them or sucking on your nipples, it's very calming and relaxing for him!
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
He loves his face to be covered in either pussy juices/"cum" (since, ya know, pussies don't ejaculate lmao anyway) or use fake cum (or real cum if you have an actual dick) to cover his face and/or inner thighs, it'll get him going like nothing else. He also loves seeing his midsection painted with his own cum and also eating his own cum.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Every once in a while, he likes to fuck his plushies. No one would suspect this because he takes much care in cleaning them immediately afterward, so they keep their softness and hugability. He's recorded himself doing it a few times but always either deletes the videos or keeps them in a separate, unsuspecting folder in his phone; he's thought about sending them to you but never could bring himself to do so.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
He's had a few hook ups but most of them have been pretty vanilla as many hook ups tend to be, he knows what he's doing especially with that tongue of his.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
Probably missionary, with you on your back and him fucking you. He can easily kiss you, suck on your neck or nipples, and you can easily grab his hair roughly, pull him in closer, scratch his back with your nails, and you two can make intense eye contact. Yeah, that's his favorite position.
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
He's more passionate about it than anything. He likes it rough but not necessarily fast, and he likes it soft but not necessarily gentle. It's a very delicate balance that he prefers most of the time and can be difficult to pin down when the mood has to be forced from either of you -- when that happens, he rather not have sex at all.
H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
Trimmed, doesn't bother to shave and he doesn't care what you do; bush, no bush, trimmed, shaved, waxed, whatever. However, he likes it when you shave for him down there as a sweet bonding experience, nothing kinky or sexual.
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
He's very sincere and very intense during sex, especially with someone he's romantically involved with because he's not the most open person and, like Yeosang, takes some prying open emotionally so when he shares that emotional part of himself and trusts that other person, that translates directly to the bedroom. He can be a little goofy if he's particularly happy that day, like giggly kisses n' shit, but otherwise very sincere, very intense.
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
If he jacks off, you know about it because he sends you audios of himself getting himself off, complete with moans, whimpers, groans, muffling himself, and him cumming in the end of it. He never sends videos, though, because his ass has a voice kink. He masturbates semi regularly just because he has a high sex drive and you're not always available so he temporarily satisfies himself.
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
So, this man, has some kinks that get me thinking. He has an oral fixation for sure, so anything involving his tongue; he definitely has a breeding kink like hard-core "let me breed you, mommy/daddy, I wanna give you babies" breeding kink, more so than San; temperature play; pegging/anal play; cock rings; nail scratching; biting/marking; kitten play; shibari; restraints; voice kink; ASMR kink.
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Hmmmm, maybe the bedroom? He doesn't really have a favorite place to do anything because each place brings a different kind of thrill for him, so anywhere he can look at and easily imagine you commanding him to take you or you taking him is his favorite place. His least favorite place is the shower because the water washes away the lube and is just generally an annoying interruption.
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
Doing a sexy, feminine dance for you. Sexy girl group concepts? He learns the choreo and dances it just for you; turns him on because he enjoys you intently watching him while being just out of reach. Rubbing your hand up and down his thigh, no matter how innocent, will also turn him on greatly. Also if you cook for him -- it can be as simple as ramen but as soon as he sees that you cooked for him, he's ready to pounce you and be at your every command.
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
I don't think he would be into piss play or scat play (absolutely no hate to people who are into this lol) but I think he wouldn't like them just because he's a bit of a clean freak and all he would see is a mess to clean up and that would definitely ruin the mood for him. Another definite turn off of his is extreme pain; he likes a little bit here and there, like slapping his ass and thighs, nail scratches wherever you scratch him, but flogging and riding crops are a no go for him.
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
He LIVES for giving oral and that's directly from his oral fixation. It keeps his mouth busy plus he gets to please his partner. Again, he also loves his face covered in cum and/or pussy juices, so oral is definitely such fun for him!
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
Moderate. He likes it a little faster than slower, but not exactly fast, if you get what I'm saying. He likes to feel you and you to feel him, so he wants it on the slower side of things but a slightly fast pace will be suitable for the most part. Only every once in a blue moon would he want you to fuck his brains out or to fuck yours out.
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
Quickies involving penetration? Nah, not a fan. Quickies involving oral? Sign him the fuck up. He wants to see how fast he can get you to orgasm with just his tongue and since you derive such pleasure from it as well, you let him take on this challenge.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
As long as extreme pain is not involved, he's game for a lot of things. He's always wanted to try semi public sex, voyeurism, and submissive cuckolding, but he would only try this with one of his members since he trusts them quite a lot.
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
I think he could probably go two, three rounds, maybe four if he has a crapton of energy for God only knows what reason. He has experience, jacks off sort of regularly, so he can last a good while in bed while being pounded into or pounding into you.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
He's got dildos of varying sizes because he, like San, is also a size queen. He has a couple of buttons plugs and some vibrators, along with handcuffs and bondage rope. He has a couple pairs of kitten ears and a matching choker and butt plug.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He likes to tease, but not in a bratty way. It's a very sweet way, like poking your cheek and rubbing it like a cat as he strokes your inner thigh and ghosts your genitals, teases you with food like "hey if I make this dish, maybe you can fuck my ass tonight" and he'd act all cutesy about it, he'll make suggestive comments while making direct eye contact, and wiggle his butt sometimes.
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
He's a happy medium between San and Yeosang. Hwa makes noise - groans, whimpers, moans, mewling - but he isn't loud with them per say, they're very throaty noises and he uses his chest to make them so they're low in volume but frequent.
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
He quite prefers the natural noises of sex between you two rather than having a playlist or any other background noise going. He's sensitive to noise in the first place and the background noise could overwhelm him in a bad way.
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
He's average. Nothing too long, nothing too girthy, but boy does he know how to use his average dick regardless.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
He has a bit of a high sex drive. Think like smack in the middle of average horny and extremely horny and that's Hwa. He can go like three days without sex with no complaints but coming up on a fourth day may be a little bit hard for him.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He becomes quite sleepy afterward, wanting to snuggle you to fall asleep while you rub his back up and down and he holds you and squeezes you like his personal plushie. It takes a while for him to actually fall asleep, but that's because it takes him a while to calm down enough to lull into a peaceful state of rest before succumbing to sleep.
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simonsrosebud · 4 years ago
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the one where someone doesn’t know who kevin day is, pt. 2
part one three four five
dalton’s apartment becomes a common occurrence over the next month.  kevin kisses dalton into the couch cushions, and then the bed.  and this one time it’s almost the same, except dalton interrupts.  “oh, hey, i’ll be at your game tomorrow- ah,” he breathes as kevin kisses down his neck.
kevin doesn’t like that.  no- he likes that, that dalton is willing to see him  do what he loves and all, but not that he told him right now.  because now he has to stop what he’s doing and explain.  explain that he’s pretty fucking famous in the exy world, that his mother is the creator of the sport, that he’s kevin day- what that entails.
but dalton takes it surprisingly easily.  he thinks it’s because he’s not invested in the sport in the way almost everyone else kevin knows is and just doesn’t get it, or maybe because he actually likes kevin for kevin and just doesn’t care about his past and the weight of his name.
because after kevin’s done dalton kisses away his frown and climbs onto his lap.  “don’t worry, hot shot, you’re still just a history nerd to me.”
kevin upgrades dalton and his friend to his family seats.  his friend seems to know exactly who he is when he goes up to them before warm ups, and by the guys face kevin realizes that dalton definitely didn’t tell his friend who they’d come for.
kevin hugs dalton.  “i’m not out yet,” he whispers.  “otherwise i’d kiss you.”
dalton grins like a child.  “later.”  he shrugs.
andrew mocks him in the car to fox tower after their win.  “invite your boyfriend?”  and he freezes.  “fuck you for thinking i’m an idiot.”
kevin thanks god that nicky rode with matt.  aaron and neil both look at him, though.  “you’re dating someone?”  neil will never not be oblivious.  aaron just sneers.
kevin stays quiet.  he should’ve known better from andrew, after all.  but he pulls out his phone.  come pick me up?
be there in 30, we're walking home from the stadium LOL
it's enough time to go hang out with the rest of the team and the vixens in the lounge, dan would kill him if he didn't show at all.  but he must lose track of time because eventually the door opens and instead of another fox it's dalton.  it's not enough to pause conversations, even though kevin is sure they all at least notice.
when kevin follows him out dalton knocks shoulders with his and smiles.  “are you drunk?  i noticed they were drinking.”
“no.  i’m um, i’m-i’m four months... sober.”
dalton is a pure angel because he smiles at kevin as he drives.  “that’s good, kev, i’m proud of you for that.”  and he doesn’t make him explain, or ask questions.  he takes it at face and lets it go, and it makes kevin want to bask in the feeling he gets from it.  it’s a different kind of trust than he’s used to.
he texts andrew that he’s not coming home for the night.  as soon as they get inside dalton’s place he has his lips on kevin’s.  “looked really hot tonight,” he mumbles and lets kevin walk him backwards towards his room.  “wish you still had your uniform on.  so strong,” and squeals when kevin picks him up.
“stop talking, d”
the next morning dalton drops him off at the stadium for training.  he doesn’t see anyone else there, so he lets dalton grab his face and kiss him before climbing out with a smile.
it fades when he sees nicky and allison staring at him as they exit the stadium.  he forgot it was therapy week for the team.
kevin freezes up.  nicky’s grinning, and allison continues walking to her car.  “wait!”  nicky wiggles his eyebrows when kevin grabs his arm.  “for once in your life, nicky, please don’t tell anyone.”
and it’s weird, because nicky kind of loses his smile.  “are you gay?  or bisexual?”
shrug.  “second.”
“are you serious about not telling people?  you’re obviously not out yet.”  kevin nods, and nicky smiles.  “i won’t tell.  i can keep secrets, you know, when they matter.”
kevin looks to allison, who looks to nicky.  “we’ve all noticed you hanging out with that guy lately.  if a bet about you two boning comes up we’re splitting the pot.”  nicky nods.  “secrets safe with me, then.”
kevin doesn’t tell them that andrew and neil know.  allison’s stubborn and he’s lucky he got her to keep her mouth shut on the first try.
he’s still moody during practice, though.  on their way back, andrew drives right past fox tower and to dalton’s apartment.  kevin doesn’t even realize until the car stops.  “what are-“
“get out.  you’re not allowed back until your mood is gone.”  and kevin could just walk back.  it’s only a fifteen minute walk, honestly, but he doesn’t really want to.  he wants dalton to wrap his body around him so he can take a nap and he wants to just hug him.  he’s realized over time that he’s been incredibly touch starved, and he’s become a fan of bear hugs.
he could feel himself distracted during practice, worrying himself over if he should tell the public that he’s bi to get ahead of it and worrying over what he and dalton are.  if it’s going in a direction that would even give him reason to come out.
so when dalton lets him in with a smile at the unexpected visit, kevin kind of falls into his arms and hugs him.  “can you hold me.”  it’s a different type of vulnerability, but dalton takes it with grace.
and eventually, when dalton’s lying on him with a hand in his hair, he asks, “do you wanna be my boyfriend?”
kevin snaps his head to look at him.  he runs his hand up dalton’s bare back.  “i’ve never been in a real relationship before.  my last one... she was toxic for me.”  triggering would be more accurate.
“that’s okay,” he whispers, his hand slides down to kevin’s face and he drags his thumb down his lip.  “just want you, kev.”
it’s the first time he thinks he’s ever heard something along those lines, and it hits so deep.  he rolls over dalton and kisses him into the mattress.
the foxes have a field day with it.
kevin doesn’t tell them, but he realizes two weeks later that allison was right when she guessed about them starting bets, and it doesn’t help when kevin brings dalton back to the suite only to find the upperclassmen and cousins all spread out on the couches and floor- minus renee and aaron.  he freezes and starts to walk backwards but andrew steps in front of him.  “stay.”
“why.”  but andrew doesn’t answer because he’s already said his piece, and kevin almost ignores him until neil pulls the vice captain card and forces him to stay.
kevin wants to hit him.
“it’s fine, kev,” dalton practically pulls him to the group.  dan greets him first and introduces herself.  “we’re playing never have i ever, drinking edition, if you wanna play, but you’ve got to drink for kevin, too”
and dalton’s wanted kevin’s friends to like him ever since he first saw them, so he doesn’t really want to say no.
“this is a bad idea.  they don’t play nice,” kevin says to dalton.  and he’s right.  the foxes don’t really play the game right, and all they do is go for each other.
kevin starts.
never have i ever payed a guy to knock me out:  neil takes a drink with murder in his eyes.  andrew’s behind him and flicks the back of his head.  he isn’t playing, but he’s not letting neil get wasted without being close by.  and also, he kind of lives there.
never have i ever gone to a peaceful exy banquet:  no one drinks, and for some reason it makes them all burst into laughter.
never have i ever done cracker dust:  dan says that one with a drunk pointed look.  the cousins, neil, and dalton for kevin all drink.
never have i ever had a panic attack over getting a phone:  neil
never have i ever kissed the same gender:  neil, nicky, allison, dalton takes two swigs.
never have i ever dated someone outside of exy:  nicky and dalton for kevin.
never have i ever broken a bone:  kevin, matt, aaron
broken a hand:  kevin
witnessed kevin having a meltdown:  everyone
lived with my dad for two years without telling him he was my dad:  kevin shoots daggers at allison.  dalton drinks for him.
had to get shitfaced to get a tattoo:  kevin
sent neil to west virginia:  kevin
seen kevin’s real smile:  dalton, neil
dated kevin:  dalton.  it settles a few bets all at once.
given kevin a blowjob:  dalton laughs before taking a drink, but that’s the last straw for kevin.  he’s sober as all hell and not letting them take the piss out of him and dalton like this.  “we’re leaving.”  he pulls dalton up.
dalton has an arm around his shoulders and his head ducked by kevin’s.  “s’fun, hm?”
kevin’s not having it.  it was not fun and he had reasons he didn’t want dalton meeting the foxes yet and the whole thing was fucked over because neil pulled the VC card and dalton was too nice to decline it.
neil says, in french.  “you knew he’d find out at some point”
kevin is furious.  “none of you had the right pulling the shit you did tonight.  i’ll fucking kill you.”  and he grabs dalton by the waist to escort him out.
all posts/updates relating to this au can be found in the “OC: dalton miller” tag!
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knockknockchicagopd · 4 years ago
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❛ BLACK JACKET WITH WHITE LETTERS ❜
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❚❙ REQUEST BY ANON: Would I be able to request prompt 16 “You're mine. I don't share”. With Hank voight where they go to one of those police events and she works in his unit and they are a couple with her being younger and they dont have to be in police uniform so she wears a really nice dress and as he introduces her and talks to other people he knows, some of the men check her out and try flirt with her and he notices. Could there be a bit of smut if not that's cool to ❤❤
❚❙ HANK VOIGHT MASTERLIST.
❚❙ WORDS: about 3k.
❚❙ Warnings: swearing, unprotected sex.
❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place, or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted.
❚❙ GIF credits: to my amazing @sonsofeorl.
❚❙ General tag list: @melblacc @rebelwrites @skyofficialxx @sesamepancakes @scarletsoldierrr @mondefantastique @that-chick212 @enbyamaro @inlovewith3 @ocetevasgirl @destynelseclipsa @miahelen @jadakiss13 @mcgreads @graniairish @teller258316 @i-love-scott-mccall @tclaerh. Hank Voight tag list: @sophie-writes. If you wanna be added to my tag list, send my a message! ⚡
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Fortunately, it's been a quiet day, otherwise, you couldn't deal with a Districts event like the Commanders call them. A meeting that reunites every officer, inspector, detective, and whoever who wears ‘the blue uniform’; including special agents from the FBI. These last ones are the kind of man who pushes you out of your good mood with all that quackery about serving the whole country, the unlimited resources, the missions. Every time you hear a fed talking about how passionate and exciting their jobs are, you just want to punch their faces. Mostly, they're behind a desk while cops like you are protecting the streets of Chicago in the firing line. But, as Burgess and Upton said, it's time to have some fun. And anything else.
Since you don't have to wear that horrible uniform you use at official events, you have chosen a breathtaking black silk dress that fits your anatomy to perfection, falling from your chest, with a spaghetti strap neckline, to your ankles. And a pair of skyscraper highlights on the same color, with the small difference that the heels are tremendously golden. Your back is almost bare, being crossed by four fine strips, knowing it's going to give Hank some trouble. Oh, you're going to have so much fun tonight. You are very sure.
The soft make-up delights your cute, but lethal, outfit on point ready to leave Kim's house accompanied by your friends. You've arranged to meet at the party with the rest of the Unit since your future husband and Antonio needed to be from the start of the event, which means the three of you are going to earn more than some gazes by assisting alone, with no male figures by your sides. As if you need some kind of protection. Men (...).
Stepping out from your car and giving the keys to the parking attendant, who seems he's having a heart attack after watching you walk with so much cockiness and sensuality, you come into the party. The look you exchange with Kim and Hailey as soon as you check the reaction of the assistants, makes you draw a triumphant smile while raising your chin in some kind of greeting. You aren't going to stop now, leading your steps straight to your partners. Ruzek chokes on champagne with his eyes over Burgess, while Hank looks at you over the edge of his glass of bourbon taking a sip.
“You should work like that every day”. Antonio opines welcoming the three of you in his arms.
“I second that, brother”. Jay quickly adds making a toast with his cup of red wine.
“Bet you'd be the one who wouldn't work”. Hailey replies palming his chest, making you giggle.
In the meantime they continue arguing about the dress code, a strong arm gets placed around your lower back to push you somewhat closer, letting his hand fall over your hipbone. You know exactly what it means. Hank isn't the kind of jealous man, who needs to mark his territory like a dog. But you know that sometimes he feels insecure because of the age gap. He trusts you blindly, that's a fact, but he's human; he has fears and you understand it. Putting your left hand on the back of his neck, you caress his scalp almost unnoticeably, tilting your head to leave a gentle kiss on his cheek earning a satisfied grin from him.
“You look really beautiful tonight”. He whispers, watching you sideways as if it's a secret between you two.
“Thank you, Sergeant. I always try to do my best”.
Hank chuckles against his glass about to have a last sip till emptying it. Taking it from his hand, you pull yourself away to go to the bar and ask for two more drinks. You're thirsty and too sober to be a Friday night. Checking some emails on your phone while the bartender serves your order, you can't help but listen to some backtalk about your career. A couple of suited men combed as politicians and wrapped on a strong scent that throws your stomach. You try to ignore them until they're close enough from your position to offer you a hand in a formal greeting.
“Johnson and Derrick. FBI”.
The blonde one looks like a senior official, while the other looks like a newbie. Turning towards both, you come into the forced polite mood to stretch his hand firmly.
“(Y/L/N), Intelligence Unit, gentlemen. A pleasure”.
“The pleasure is ours, detective”.
“Special agent”. You correct him inevitably, even if it sounds arrogant.
“Special agent, of course”. Johnson replies with a nod of his chin. “I've read your file lately. I have no words to describe it. Graduated with excellent grades in Yale, two years in the Army, another undercover in a Cartel… And you also know how to fly a helicopter”.
“If you weren't from the FBI, I could think you've been stalking me like one of your serial killers, sir”. The sarcasm in your tone of voice earns your Unit's attention, very focused on the conversation between the feds and you.
“Who catches a monster without becoming one, right?”
The man introduces a hand under his jacket to offer you his business card. But you don't take it, just looking at it for a second before raising your eyes towards his.
“In your academy shows you to have the big balls to disrespect a Sergeant or a Chief, by trying to steal their officers in front of their faces? Because mine shows us to serve and protect the citizens”.
His gesture changes suddenly in a sight, hearing some chuckles behind you coming from Hailey and Kim. Raising both eyebrows as you don't get any reply back, you just nod before grabbing the two drinks you have asked for when they interrupted you. Coming back to your friends, you can't help but wrinkle your nose in a gesture of disgust earning more giggles from your partners. But it doesn't seem funny for Hank, who you know he's killing them in thousands of ways inside his head.
As the night passes, you notice Agent Johnson's eyes on you with no shame, starting to make you feel uncomfortable. Although you would be delighted to embarrass him in front of everyone, he has had enough from you. But this doesn't end there. Excusing yourself, you step to the terrace almost emptied to have some fresh air, knowing he's going to follow you. Maybe, to insist a little more. He was so interested in recruiting you to miss the chance.
And as you thought, he's that predictable. You don't turn because of his steps coming closer, but because he pretends to clear his throat to claim your attention. Crossing your arms over your chest, you tilt your head to a side feigning curiosity with a forced smile showing up on your lips.
“I would like to apologize for my behavior. In my profession isn't habitual to find agents of your characteristics”.
“For sure, sir. It doesn't matter”.
“You could have an extraordinary career in the FBI”.
“I already have it where I am. I don't need schedules, cheap suits, and an earpiece to succeed”.
“I understand your relationship interferes in your decision, but you do—”.
“I'm sorry, you said what? Did you…? Oh, god, I can't fucking believe it”. You can't help but laugh shaking your head. “I don't have any relationship as soon as I wear my badge, sir. And you are starting to cross a line you don't want to cross. Believe me”.
“Ma'am, don't misunderstand my words, nor my intentions. I just think ma—”.
“Nobody asked you to think, Johnson”.
Raising your eyes over his shoulders, you can see your boyfriend sipping his glass of whisky, joining the talk as he tries to keep calm. You know Hank to perfection. If he wasn't your boss, he would have punched him already.
“If you continue pissing off my agent, we're gonna have a problem”.
The man just nods, alternating his gaze between the two of you. Seems that he has admitted his defeat.
“Beautiful and lethal. You're a son of a bitch with so much luck, Voight. Take care of this diamond. Or she will end up wearing a blue jacket with yellow letters”.
“Uh-huh”. He replies as you continue remaining silent.
Passing your boss away back to the party, leaving you alone, you can't hide the proud smile that turns your gesture into a funnier one. Taking short steps towards him, you steal the glass from his hand to drink from it under his attentive brown eyes.
“Blue isn't my color. Not at all. I'm more into black”. You whisper referring to the jackets you are used to wearing in the Chicago department.
“Hm…”
“Imagine having your badge hanging from your neck all day like a collar. Do I look like a dog? I prefer to have it on my belt. And I'm already used to the disgusting watered coffee we make in the twenty-one”. As you continue giving him more reasons, your forefinger traces a path up from his chest to his nape. “And I have so much fun driving my Dodge all around Chicago”.
“Anything else you wanna add?”
“Hm… no. Actually, not. That's all, sir”. You reply puckering your lips, pulling yourself away some inches with a playful aura wrapping you both.
“Now lemme tell you something here”. Hank says then, leaning over your ear. “You're mine, I don't share”.
His voice and his characteristic raspy voice gives you some chills down your spine bone. Biting your bottom lip unconsciously while he stands up, you know the party is over for you and it's time to go home. Holding your hand and taking back his glass of whisky, you walk inside to say your goodbyes before leaving the fancy place straight to the underground parking. You are not going to lie saying you don't love his dominant mood when the occasion demands it.
As soon as you reach your car, you can notice sideways Hank making sure you're totally alone. He doesn't usually take risks of being seen in public too lovey-dovey, but it's not about it this time and you can't wait for him to go ahead with his intentions. Of course, he doesn't make you wait for too long to push your back to the copilot door, attacking your neck in the meantime his hands grab your hips stealing you a low gasp. Hank makes himself between your legs, urging you to surround his waist with one of them to close the distance that separates you, feeling the need he has to mark his territory, as rarely he shows.
“Take me home”. You almost beg closing your eyes as his teeth are nailed on your most sensitive spot, earning a soft grunt that vibrates your body.
“I'm gonna take you here, sweetheart. Any problem?”
“Hell, no, sergeant”.
“Get in the car. Now”.
You don't complain, taking it as an order when he takes two steps back releasing your body and opening the back door for you. And the next minute passes too fast, rolling up your dress as Hank undoes his belt and unzips his pants. In just a sigh he's deep-buried between your legs. It's the first time you take this kind of risk, almost in public, and the horniness it produces is driving you crazy. With your lips almost touching the others, you moan uninhibited every time his hands on your lower back urge you to keep swinging your hips, sitting on his lap.
The way his eyes memorize every gesture drawn on your face has you breathless. It's a sensation you can't describe. Hank has some kind of power over you that you haven't experienced before, even if you think you're indomitable he always manages to make whatever he wants with you. And you know it. You let him do it. Just like right now, marking his territory with desirous bites and wet kisses all around your exposed throat. The most visible part of your body. He doesn't need to prove anything. He isn't the kind of man who needs to call out any other man who dares to lay his eyes on you. Everybody in this damn city knows you're more than his pupil and they're too scared to say hi, although there's always an exception to the rule. In this case, the FBI agents acting like carrion birds.
The mist clouds the windows, as the heat concentrated on your bodies makes you sweat slightly. Hank takes the control turning you under his body against the seat in a position that puts you to see the stars. Every move of his pelvis is accurate, hitting your g-spot, satisfied with how good his name sounds getting drowned between pleased moans once and again. With every push to your body, his dick is dug deeper through your tight wetness making him grunt into your ear, feeling more delighted than never before. And everything is because of the way you had to reply to that FBI agent in front of everyone, showing him how clear you have your preferences; not only because of your relationship, as Johnson pointed out. But because everybody in Chicago is aware that there's no better boss in law enforcement. There's no better Unit than the Intelligence one from the police department of your hometown.
As your legs get wrapped around his waist to pull him closer, one of his arms surrounds your middle back while his free hand flies straight to your throat. Keeping your eyes closed, the suffocating sensation within your lower belly continues growing with every thrust that steals the air from your lungs and races your heart over its possibilities. You're close. So close that your mind is a total blank, just focused on the way only he can make you feel. So good, so desired, so full of life. He knows it, he takes it in advantage. And he enjoys it more than anything.
“Oh, fuck…” Hank got you almost in tears because of the pleasure, traveling your hands to the back of his neck, nailing your nails there. “God… I'm gonna… Fuck, Hank, don't stop, please… Don't stop”.
“I won't, my love… Not till you give me what I want”.
His voice always plays dirty with your mind. The way he has to drag every syllable on his tongue with that husky voice that puts you to tremble, as he continues burying his hard dick inside you with no mercy, speeding up as soon as he feels your legs clung to his body slightly shaking. Because of the fewer insecurities he has about your relationship, he feels proud whenever he makes you reach that sweet sensation of the orgasm taking control of your anatomy. He doesn't care if he has to use his hands, his tongue… whatever. It's not only about sex between the two of you, of course not. But making you cum screaming out his name is an every-day-goal.
And you don't make him wait for too long, arching your back when a lash of heat hits your spine and the grenade inside your lower belly explodes. Your gasps fill up your car, while he continues fucking you harder than seconds before not showing any compassion to your exhausted body, looking for your lips to devours them desperately. His tongue starts a fight for dominance, winning over yours like every single time, in the meantime his fingers grips tightly your throat. Instinctively, you swing your hips in sync, provoking every move to go deeper among your shaky legs.
Hank can't hold it anymore, digging his cock to the limits of your guts, almost hitting your soul with a last strong lung. His warm seed fills you up completely, keeping pushing his body against yours, pressing both to the seat with his hands now placed on the headrest. It feels like a whole set of fireworks. Your moans complement his delighted growls to perfection.
“Don't move, please”. You beg with a thin voice thread, at the same time he rests his forehead on yours.
The two of you can barely breathe, trying to recover after an intense session of your favorite cardio workout. From nowhere, you can't help but giggle in unison. You can't believe you just fucked inside your car and with the risk of being caught in the act. A sergeant and one of his special agents. Even if it's your free night and you're in an established relationship, he's still your boss.
“I would miss working with you”.
“Huh?”
“If I get the FBI's offer”. You mumble, leaving clumsy kisses all around his face. “You're the best cop Chicago has”.
“You don't have to butter me up for a second round”.
Shaking your head briefly and laughing, you caress his scalp so gently as he sinks his face into your sweaty neck.
“Now you said so… maybe I have the fantasy of being bent over your desk”.
“Maybe?”
“Yeah, just… maybe”.
“Then maybe I could bring you to my office, before going home. There's some paperwork to attend to”.
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blueskrugs · 4 years ago
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Airport Shenanigans | Matthew Tkachuk
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this was @broadstbroskis​‘s request! I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t really feeling either number you asked for, but I decided to have some fun with this! I also wanted to have something new for his birthday today, so here we are. not my best, and also minimally edited, but I hope you guys still like it!
20. stuck in an airport in a snowstorm
length: 1.1K
Matthew had insisted you get to the airport early, for some fucking reason, which is why you’ve already been sitting around for an hour when he gets back from checking the flights board. You look at him expectantly, but he just shakes his head.
“Snowstorm back home, they’re not letting any flights into Lambert,” Matt says, and Brady groans from the floor next to you. The Sens had been in town for the last game before break, so he was flying back home to St. Louis with you and Matthew. You think he was already beginning to regret that decision. 
The airport was crowded, being only a few days before Christmas, but the three of you had claimed a small corner of the terminal for yourselves, spreading out all your bags– which there really were a lot of. There was an entire large suitcase just dedicated to all the presents the three of you were having to lug across the border. (Matt wouldn’t let you just have them delivered to his parents house, claimed he didn’t want Taryn snooping.) Matt flopped onto the floor next to Brady.
“I call not calling Mom to tell her,” Brady says, still staring at the ceiling.
Matt groaned. “Fuck.” He tilted his head to pout up at you. 
“No way, I love you, but she’s not my mom,” you told him. He groaned again.
You pulled out your phone to check the weather. Snowstorm was right; it covered most of Missouri on the radar, and definitely didn’t look like it would be stopping anytime soon. Except your flight had just been delayed, not cancelled, which meant you were stuck in limbo for the foreseeable future (and couldn’t go home, either).
“What’re you doing?” Matt asked, hauling himself into a chair next to you and resting his head on your shoulder.
“Checking for flights to Chicago instead. Maybe we could drive down,” you told him.
“No way in hell am I driving five hours in a car with you and Brady.”
“Then what’s your big plan to get us home for Christmas then?” you snapped. Matt sighed and didn’t respond.
“I’m getting food,” Brady announced.
“Bring me back popcorn!” you yelled after him.
Eating your popcorn turned into throwing it to Matthew because he wanted to catch it in his mouth, which turned into him and Brady just pelting it at each other. It only ended when they accidentally hit some woman carrying a baby. Boys. 
“Cards Against Humanity?” you suggested. You knew Matthew had thrown it in his backpack.
“Boring,” Matt said.
“You’re boring,” Brady shot back.
“Hide and seek?”
“Sardines?”
“Yeah, and who’s gonna watch our stuff?”
All three of you turned to look at the only other person near you, a college-aged girl who had been engrossed in her book the whole time you guys had been in the airport. The girl definitely recognized Matthew, but she agreed to keep an eye on your bags.
The boys decided that you would be “it” first and wandered away while you tried to figure out where to hide. You dug out a Flames hat from Matt’s bag, and a book from yours before settling in a chair at a different gate, texted Matt that you were ready. You watched Matthew and Brady walk right past you no less than three times, trying and failing to look casual, and not like they were hopelessly lost. 
Sardines lasted almost half an hour, until someone reported the boys for looking suspicious, and you got to watch them try and talk their way out of being chased by security. 
You broke out TikTok around 11:30, lost yourself to the mindless scroll. Matt watched with you for a little bit, and you laughed at the crease between his eyebrows as he tried to follow the dances. 
“Wanna do one?” you asked, waving your phone in Matt’s direction. 
“Yeah, no.”
You hadn’t forgotten the meltdown the internet had had that time Taryn had gotten him to do a TikTok with her. You scrolled for a second. “Here, look, this one is easy,” you said, handing your phone to Matthew.
“I think you and I have different ideas of what’s easy, babe,” Matt said, unimpressed, but he watched the video three times. 
Twenty minutes and more attempts than you could count later, Matthew collapsed on the floor with a groan. You nudged him with your foot; he swatted you away but didn’t open his eyes. You were rewatching the last clip you had taken. It wasn’t perfect, but you had hardly expected it to be.
“I’m posting this,” you told Matt. He waved his hand at you.
You filmed another one, too, of the two of you attempting the koala challenge, but on those moving sidewalks. It didn’t end well. (You weren’t sure it would have gone any better on solid ground, either.) 
It was 1 AM, and the airport was deserted. You were in that weird space where time didn’t feel real, and you couldn’t honestly have said what day it was or how many hours you’d been in the airport. Brady was half-asleep on the floor, and Matt was stretched across three chairs with his head in your lap. Your flight had finally actually been rescheduled, and would be leaving in another hour or so, which meant you’d be getting in at an ungodly hour of the morning. You were trying to decide if it was worth it to try and sleep and destroy your sleep schedule, or to stay awake and suffer. You and Matt were people-watching, amusing yourselves by making up the life stories of the other poor souls stuck in an airport in Calgary at 1 AM. Most of Matthew’s were completely ridiculous, but you were so tired you weren’t making much sense either. The only sign you had that Brady was still awake was that he occasionally snickered at something one of you said.
Before you knew it, they were finally calling your flight to board. There weren’t many people left, between the long delay, and it not being a crowded flight to begin with. The three of you were in a row together, but there was no one in the row next to you, so Brady claimed it and sprawled out across it. You and Matt spent five minutes arguing over who got the window seat. (You won.) It didn’t really matter, because it was the middle of the night, and you were pretty sure you would both pass out not longer after the flight took off. 
Matthew held your hand from the seat next to you. Sure, you hadn’t planned on being stuck at YYC for hours, but at least you’d had some fun in the process. You kissed Matt’s forehead when he rested his head on your shoulder. Yeah, there were worse people you could’ve gotten stuck with.
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worldsover · 4 years ago
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Wintertide Inside ft. Gahyeon
length ✦ 4841
genres ✧ cockwarming; anal; gf!Gahyeon
✦✧✦✧✦✧
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Maybe it’s obvious, but you’re thankful for Gahyeon’s ass. A simple contract—if you need a cocksleeve to wrap you or if your girlfriend needs a toy to fill her, neither of you would say no. You’re nominally in charge today but the outcome’s the same either way, with cum seeping from both ends of her tract and your cock sore in the best plight a man can have. 
Swift moans interject her snoring to surface you from your nap, probably because of flashes of biting air that creep in from some draft in the room. Her red crop-top is the only article of clothing on her scrumptious physique while you’re completely stark.  Don’t want to get up so you hold her somehow closer with no worry for your own frigidity. Gahyeon is tiny in your entwine. As you emanate heat from your torso to her back, she returns it tenfold between her legs. 
The incongruity of her pussy is that it’s both uncomfortable and comforting.  Stressfully tight and lovingly wet, while grueling clenches verge on coaxing yet another orgasm from you. Its quaver can be measured in millimeters when your cock etches its shape more permanent. Yesterday’s regrets and tomorrow’s worries become dust in your brain as it toils to memorize each of her inner folds.
Therefore more than the mouthwatering shape or size, you’re grateful for the cushion of her buttcheeks because it rivals your couch’s plushness and distracts you from your imminent peak, your third or fourth today. Losing track is easy when she keeps your cock incarcerated for so long. The threat of climax fades away and returns as quickly while single pulses reiterate how close to the edge you are. No lights on in your living room. Don’t need them. Nothing in your head other than Gahyeon anyway.
Rays spill through the thick curtains and a sliver barely misses her eyes to fall on yours instead. However, she rouses too from her sleep when a pillow between her legs slips to the floor. Nothing funny but you both giggle.
“How’s your nap, babe?” you say. 
She twitches at the warm air tickling her ears, and cold the rest of her skin, but you manage to keep most of your body stationary in Gahyeon’s embrace. Gahyeon yawns and stretches her arms, pushing back on the edge of the couch. “I think I had an amazing dream. Brr.”
“Dummy, you don’t dream until you hit R.E.M.” You point and she bends down to grab the thick blue blanket that fell on the floor. A small hum arises from you at the slight shift in angle. Look at the white clock above the TV and point again. “It’s only been like twenty.”
Gahyeon hands the blanket to you and you swathe it around your two bodies, calming both of your shivers. “Felt like forever. Pff, I was trying to be all romantic.”
“Why be romantic when-” Your words fall to breathy laments when the smoothest swing of her hips turn millimeters of movement to centimeters. The friction from only fractions of your length force a whimper out of her as it does a throb from you.
Gahyeon’s moans turn to more desperate whimpers in kind. Her hand aims below her crop-top and your shaft feels the curious kneading of her fingers below her belly button. Another throb. “Fuck. I still feel your cum inside. It’s almost too much.”
“Then why are you grinding so much? I’m barely running on empty.”
Your head is so fuzzy, you can’t tell how she manages to get on top of you while keeping your cock inside the entire time. For as savory as it is to look or smell or listen to her cute grunts, the only sensation that passes to your mind is her tightness twisting around your shaft. 
Gahyeon sits up and collects a bit of leakage with a finger, provocatively sucking it. “Nice try but I know the taste of your fresh load.”
“Fuck, you make my cock so sensitive. Such a good cumslut.” 
She gulps and bats her eyes so you pull her hair down, and your lips converge. Your core reignites when Gahyeon starts jolting her hips down hard on yours, and you note that her walls aren’t just clingy with your semen but that her pussy is lubricious with girl cum. It’s her turn to be the fucktoy but she’s stalwart in riding you. You’re in no condition to object. 
Gahyeon looks up at the clock and she slows down though not fully arresting her momentum. “Wait a sec, why didn’t you tell me the time?” she says after a thrust and a pant.
You shrug and she blows air out of her lips. Not a mind reader here.
Her pussy almost snaps shut when she gets off you. She steals the blanket while she’s at it. ”Right, should’ve told you to remind me. How am I supposed to focus on the performance later with this in me the whole time?” Gahyeon says, wiping the sticky load dripping from her other lips.
“Man, the blanket’s gonna be sticky now.”
“Sorry babe, I’ll try to do a better job keeping it inside me, okay?”
Stand up and grab some tissues for the fluids coating her groin before you clean yourself the same. You shiver at the air occasionally sweeping the room because you don exactly one less garment than Gahyeon, but it’s about making a statement. It’s your apartment dammit so you can be nude at any hour if you want to be. 
Widen the curtains and suffuse the room with natural white light. Look outside, your undraped stature proud and unsympathetic to the outside world to which you expose yourself. Sky and trees are near monochrome as the snow piles up on the grass which adds to the subtraction of color. 
“You’re so weird,” she says. Your dick flops as you turn around and flaunt your butt to mother nature itself, knowing its coldness towards you isn’t solely metaphorical in this season.
“This is our first winter together, my first new year in my own apartment. I have to be excited.” You raise your arms.
“Fair. You wouldn’t be here without me.” A signature curly smile and she joins your side to admire the snowy sight, letting you share in some—no, not all—of the warmness of the blanket.
“I mean if we were normal, I wouldn’t have left.” You hug Gahyeon and give her a smooch on her forehead. “But I needed my own place for my little cum-hungry, cum-greedy cockwarmer.”
Pink always spreads her cheeks at your brazen words. Her tummy presses on your softening cock and brings it back to life but she backs away. Gahyeon brings the back of each of her hands to her sides. “Right, speaking of which. Can I take one of my panties from your drawer?”
“You didn’t bring any? Hold on, that was supposed to be a secret!” you say.
“Yeah, obviously I know about them, stupid. You didn’t even notice when I packed a couple in there myself when you moved, did you?” 
She’s right, you didn’t, so shake your head. Gahyeon giggles then gives you the blanket again before she heads to your room. “I’ll be back soon, okay!” she yells while you fiddle with the thermostat. 
Grab some tortilla chips from the pantry then sit on the couch bundled in the blanket and turn to a channel that’s just playing a loop of a fireplace. At least the crackling sounds realistic with your speakers. 
In only a few minutes, she already has a full winter outfit on, a bright tomato that would stand out sorely in the snow. The apartment is already a lot mellower so you put the blanket away to wash later. Gahyeon is enticing no matter what she wears but you’re warm inside seeing your girlfriend wrapped up, though warmth also comes from the humiliation finally setting in from the contrast between her state of dress and yours.
“Did you hear me? I said I’ll be back soon.”
“Come on, the apartment isn't that big.” Get up to kiss her goodbye. ”Hurry back. There should be plenty of sun left and I wanna see the sun shine on your face with my cock in it.”
Open your laptop on your coffee table and promise to yourself that you’ll finish editing that teaser. It’s just a little distraction when you pore over videos you worked on recently, just reviewing your work to get ideas for how to cut. However, like a good and fully whipped man, one thing leads to another, one Dreamcatcher music video later—you’re proud of working on that one—and you’re back to the fancams of your girlfriend dancing. A similar, but less revealing crop-top, brief black shorts that strut the beautiful width of her thighs that you live between. Losing much weight, they’re still ample enough to stifle your cock on their own, without her amazing pussy’s help. Your erection should be exhausted but it returns at the sight of the jiggling. Two hands begin their work as Fly High plays.
A fluffy red jacket slams into your head. “You slob, put some clothes on!”
“What are you doing home?”
“Look at all the snow! What are you doing naked?”
“It’s my apartment, dang it! You know I’m naked all the time.” Didn’t mean to raise your tone there but she looks a touch distressed. You run up to her and give her a heavy drawn-out embrace.
“Babe,” she says, a little reluctant in the hug.
“I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.”
“No babe, it’s fine.”
“I was jerking it to you if it helps.”
“That doesn’t help, stupid. You’re gonna get this dress messy!” Gahyeon grabs your dick which leaks some precum. She bites her lip.
“Oh, sorry,” you say. You back off and retrieve the parka that fell on the floor and from all its pockets spill condoms like a deck of cards and a bad hand.
“Holy shit,” Gahyeon says. Whatever minute ire that remains burns away at her adorable laughter mixing with yours.
“Fuck, imagine if someone caught you with those.”
“Shit. Yoobin almost put her hand in my pocket for no reason.”
“Nah, she would’ve laughed just as hard.”
“You’re right.” Gahyeon bends down to pick the condoms up and you take your sweet time to help her. “We haven’t used these in so long,” she says.
“You wanna? Old time’s sake? Ha, fuck no.” Feeling bad for making her do all that work to appreciate her ass even in the baggiest pants possible, you spank her.  Wait, that’s not the solution. ”You should change first. I’ll clean up.”
There’s grey shorts and a plain white shirt in the dryer, so grab them. Gahyeon returns with her hair in twin buns, a short pink skirt and a white long sleeve half-shirt that manages to show off her cleavage from the top and the bottom.
“I hope that’s not a stage outfit.”
“Of course not. I just wanted to look more like a dumb slut for your dick.”
And with that, thoughts empty. As she crawls towards you, grab a wad of her hair. “So it’s like that today. Well shit, good job.”
“Thank you!” Only the corners of Gahyeon’s lips turn. “A good toy only has one purpose.” 
Fulfill that purpose and shove her head down to its rightful place. Gahyeon takes a single stroke into her throat, with nary a sound as she takes the entire length into her practice throat, but she pulls her lips back up to your cockhead. “You’ll be good there?” you say.
“Mhm,” she says with her usual mouthful.
You get a bit of video cutting done for an hour or so with her lips on your cock head, occasionally patting her head. Occasional moans slip out but you keep focused and erect at the same time. At some point during your work, you offer her one of your earphones to listen to your synthwave music. Despite maintaining an enthusiastic hold on your tip, Gahyeon looks a little tired from kneeling so long.
“Aww, baby, do your knees hurt?”
“Mm, I’m fine,” she mumbles while keeping her lips on your tip.
“Why are you pouting a little then?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Hey, come here.”
Stoop to give her a passionate, drawn-out kiss, though it always turns out the same. You realize how long you could do nothing but make out with your girlfriend. You love the way Gahyeon competes with you, where your tongues battle and you each threaten to suck the air out of each other’s lungs. It’s impossible to keep your heart’s pace steady and you’d be remiss for your hands not to dig into every inch of her skin as she wanders the same on you.
Of course, there’s only one place those hands could lead to. Smack. You swear her ass ripples. “Now get back to sucking slut.”
You wipe the drool off your face but you interrupt her doing the same; she looks good messy. Gaheyon lays on the couch with her head on your lap. You can’t see her face but if she needs to get a better angle to watch Knowing Bros, then so be it. Her lips fasten your cock just the same. She sticks her ass up and a reflective circle seals her asshole.
“Where’d you get that?”
“Friend got it for Christmas, secret Santa.”
“Bora?”
“Mhmmmm-” Gahyeon draws out the vibration of the last consonant on your cock. 
A couple of hours later, you finish your work and send emails.  Once in a while you stroke her hair but she gives more suction in response, sending you ever closer to release. How greedy of her, she’s certainly swallowed enough cum just from premature singular pulses but Gahyeon doesn’t stop when you lay down the law and slap her ass.
“Whose turn is it. huh?”
Every hit of her ass emboldens her sucking, as she goes deeper.
“So you wanna be a brat? I said, whose turn is it!”
She gags for the first time in a while, spewing much spit, when you pull slowly but abruptly on the shiny buttplug after slapping her ass a final time. Lube spills out.
Gahyeon breathes heavy breaths on your cock. “Fuck. I’m sorry, sir.”
“Woah. Now that’s new.” 
“I guess it just came out naturally. Sir.” She licks up the froth on your cock.
“I don’t mind if you say it.” You circle her asshole with your finger and taste the lube. Sugary but you can’t think of the flavor. Not that you can think of much of anything.
“Only if you call me ma’am when it’s my turn.”
“Deal.”
“Thank you sir.”
She keeps your cock snug in her mouth. Browse your phone and decide to get some Jjamppong delivered, perfect for the cold.
“Gahyeon? Babe?”
Was she really? Incredible. She manages to doze off with a cock filling her mouth. That’s new. For all the times you’ve fallen asleep during tantric sex, it’s always been inside her pussy or asshole. How she incessantly drools while her head wriggles nearly makes you unload on her unconscious tongue but you hold it in, allowing only a few spurts to leak.
Unfortunately, you have to wake her up when you get the order from the door. You have to get some final work done but she eats dinner, sitting your dick. Your laptop is on her lap while you rest your chin on her neck. Tickled, Gahyeon giggles in between slurps of noodles. The lack of movement agonizes both of you but it keeps you focused. You could spend all day fucking each other; in fact, you have.
The winter sunset lights your room the colors of candy like artificial strawberry and sweet tangerines, though snow still storms down to desaturate the world. You’ve had enough productivity for one day. Gahyeon shares the soup with you, but after she sets the bowl down, she twists her hips in a quick motion and you explode without warning. Five or six? It’s only a curt removal of your soul from existence but you puff and pant anyway.
“Fuck, I’m sorry sir. I should’ve warned you.”
“It’s fine.”
“But I can’t let this cum go to waste, can I?” At some point during your orgasm, she withdrew herself and now she’s licking up and down your soft shaft to clean any cum that you didn’t shoot inside. “Damn, I just wanted to get my vibrator.”
“It’s okay Gahyeon, get it. I. I definitely need some time to recover.”
“I guess even you have your limits.” She grins, then leaves for the bedroom.
Gahyeon returns and a loop of a pink wire sticks out from her pussy. Now the only thing she wears is that thin strip of a top. Take off your shirt to match. “The egg this time?” you say.
She nods. “Here’s the remote.”
Get your Switch and play some Smash while she washes some dishes and organizes clothes that she’s brought over. Apparently you mix your clothes with hers often, which shouldn’t be such an issue considering how different your sizes are. Every time you lose a game, you turn on the vibrator for a few moments. You get a kick out of watching her buckle. If only you could do this while she performs live.
“You wanna head to the bedroom? It’s getting dark, uff.” A quick press of the highest setting and Gahyeon’s knees knock together. It never takes too long for you to get hard again when you see her put all effort into standing. “You- Ahhh, fuck, I love you. I hate you.”
Maybe it’s because you have yet to turn the intensity down. With a full hand on her ass and the other on her back, carry her to the bedroom but her wriggling hobbles you. An early left turn.
“I already showered earlier. Sir, please I’m getting so sensitive.” Gahyeon rotates through many different faces, from agony to excitement to pleasure. 
Set her down in the hot tub and her crop-top lands in the laundry basket perfectly.
“Nice throw.” Gahyeon high-fives you. She almost distracted you with that great throw. “Tsk. You’re still keeping that vibrator in you. Just what you deserve for making me cum when I didn’t even finish eating.”
Your apartment is relatively small for its price, but there were certainly no expenses spared for the bathroom. Both your shower and your jacuzzi could fit three people. It has the biggest panes of glass and provides no privacy but you love the ambiance especially during a night shower. Gahyeon’s moaning goes from having a quick rhythm to intense, long held notes. She’s playing with herself in any way that she can to make her climax, manically stroking her clit while she teases pulling the metallic plug in her ass. Turn off the lights and cocoa candles fill the scent of the room. Finally, remove her vibrator and buttplug.
“So fucking yummy. Come here,” you say, holding her neck carefully as you get in the tub to crash your lips into hers. After what feels like hours of kissing even if it is only a few minutes, you lay down in the hot-tub and Gahyeon straddles your thighs. 
“So which is going to be?” She glances next to the sink. ”Guess the lube isn’t for my pussy. Wait, why’d you turn on the water? It’s gonna wash away the lube. Woah, isn’t it my turn-” 
When you pull her groin up to your face, extra force on her clit shuts her up and nearly instantly drives her to orgasm. Gahyeon always grabs your hair and locks her legs together when you make her cum with your tongue but especially after all the stimulation of the vibrator, you have difficulty breathing. It’s worth it. She whimpers as your lips work relentlessly on her pussy but you settle down after a while. Hot jets of water blast on your back along with her legs. Gahyeon continues riding your face while she talks about her performance. Apparently the snow had a lot of the production people hold up. She brings a dewfall and you could taste her syrup forever but your cock aches once again. Maybe it’s asking you to chill out and that it needs a break, but if that were true, it wouldn’t be as hard as ever. 
“I’ve had enough of your pussy today,” you say.
“Really sir? Didn’t know that was possible.” Gahyeon needs no directions, your tongue licking up her body as your hands pull her last garment away.
“Siri, play relaxing radio. I’m staying in your ass until I cum.”
The middle of an R&B chorus plays. You get up to take the lube and Gahyeon drains the tub until only a little water remains. Her fingers wander and she vigorously rubs her clit while a curious thumb circles her asshole. Take a glob of the vanilla flavored lube and spread it on your fingers. Gahyeon sucks on your index, which goes straight to her asshole. Its wetness helps the tight ring expand slowly around it and the familiar pucker on your finger excites you. Get underneath her so that she’s laying on top of you while you sit back against the tub.
“God. I’m never getting used to how big you are.”
There it is. The tip of your cock vanishes into her tight asshole and you try to hold in a high whine, though Gahyeon lets out plenty of squeals as lube makes the entrance slick, squishy noises. Let her ass sink in with only her weight and it wraps down your shaft inch by throbbing inch. At last. She’s all the way down. If only you could see her face, but the position is comfortable and you get the pleasure of sucking on her neck while playing with her tits from behind.
The glow from the moon finds an angle into your room, mixing candle flame yellows with its white. Fierce winds push the falling snow outside of your window sideways. You’re warm nonetheless.
Midnight, the radio says as a new host talks about the inclement weather, but it’s not enough to keep you from kissing up and down Gahyeon’s back. Play with her nipples and the miniscule action not only gets them hard, but makes her ass’s folds react and roll to the pleasure. The breeze blows, a more important sound manages to distract you.
“Sir, do you hear that?” Gahyeon says.
“Yeah!” You hum along to the melody of Jazz Bar. “Hey, that’s you singing.”
“It’s not even one of our title tracks. I have to tell the members.” 
Gahyeon almost gets up from her but her head turns and shakes, realizing your thickness twitching as she almost fully unsheathes her ass. “Fuck.”
“Hold on. What’d I tell you?”
“Oh shit. Sorry. Sir. I can tell them later.”
“You know what. Just for that.” Pick her up, holding her thighs carefully to keep your cock in her asshole. The position is awkward, but you manage to lay her down prone without withdrawing your erection. 
“God, I love the way your cock hits.” All agreements and contracts are lost when you look at how the fat and muscle collects in Gahyeon’s full ass. A single thrust in and you can see the weight of the smack of your groin on her cheeks, so you endeavor to learn more about physics, even during the snow day. Slam into her and as you go in and out, Gahyeon yells and swears louder and louder, threatening to let all the neighbors know. No, of course they already know. It makes your eye contact with them hilariously awkward and it makes Gahyeon’s mask and disguise even more necessary.
“What a bad girl,” you say with a powerful shove.  ”Can’t even be a good cockwarmer, god.” Plunge and dive, your cock tries its best to widen her asshole but no matter what, it strangles your shaft taut. “Your butthole is just too. Fucking. Tempting.”
“Yes! Yes! Sir please, I’m going to- I’m just about to. Fuck. Shit I was so close.”
Chuckle at seeing her distraught face. “I’m getting some beer. Also, I want to finish in the bedroom. More comfy.”
She takes a minute to find her breathing but she gets up and grabs the lube. “Don’t have work tomorrow?” Gahyeon says.
“Lemme check.” When you both get to the bedroom, you check your phone. Nothing til noon. Perfect. Grab some beer in the minifridge in the corner of the room, while Gahyeon fixes her hair and lays down on the bed. She pats the mattress with both hands next to her. Missionary, it is then.
A hand to her chin. “Wait a second, didn’t you say you weren’t leaving my ass until you came. Hmm,” Gahyeon says. She gives a quick smooch and smiles naughtily. You could stare at her lips upturning all day. It’s her signature weapon.
Take a sip of the bottle of Cass. “What are you gonna do about it?” She digs her nails into your back to pull you and your cock finds the purchase of her asshole anew. In between thrusting motions, you take bigger swigs of the beer and offer some to her. She spills a bit on her tits and you lick it up. Suck on her tits as she pounds her ass into your erection. 
“Stretch me out, fuck me harder. Harder, sir!”
“God, mmmm, ugh., ugh.” Can’t speak much anymore.  Both of you love dirty talk, Gahyeon especially knows how to whisper to tickle your ear but she also knows how to scream to get your instinctive side out. You hold her neck as you hold the bottle, careful and secure. Her tightly drawn anus responds the same as her pussy when you choke her, as they each try frenetically to wring you dry. However, the friction of her ass, even with all the lube, arouses your cock harder somehow. This is the life you chose, in a way the most tiring work you could ever imagine.
Gahyeon grabs tighter and her whole body ripples at the force that you both put in. Not a single qualm about your lifestyle. Any pretense of space between you two is gone as every inch of your skin slaps against each other. A final gulp from the bottle.
“Right there, right there, yes sir, baby. Cum with me!”
There isn’t much of you left but it’s still a flash freeze, a blizzard and pouring hail slamming into you when you cum, and she shakes doubly so in her orgasm as she’s had double yours today. The throb of your shaft doesn’t match the squeezing rhythm of her sphincter and inner walls which makes your cock spurt with more intensity than you could think possible, even bearing your stamina. Your sticky semen replaces the slippery lube inside her ass but you didn’t need its stickiness to slow your rhythm as your dick gets softer. You let minutes pass anyway to feel her muscles react to the load sloshing around and so that it’s not as difficult to extricate your softness from her greedy butthole, though it takes a slow removal anyway with its tightness. Both of you limp over and Gahyeon is fast asleep, but you scramble to return the buttplug and keep the cum inside.
“Keep warm! It’s going to be like this all winter. Tomorrow, it’ll be a high of -5 and a low of -20 and that snow will keep piling up-” Turn down the volume so that it’s not muted but soft enough that you can hear the wind howl past your windows just as loud. Nothing amazes you more than the tiny idol asleep and cutely snoring while her pussy throttles your shaft. Looking at Gahyeon’s ass and feeling her shake it as you try to fall asleep, something tells you it’ll be the warmest winter you’ll ever have.
✦✧✦✧✦✧
AFF, AO3
Something quick with my favorite kink for my second favorite in Dreamcatcher. Also got a draft for my ultimate bias but that’ll take time as well. Woops, yet another thing to procrastinate on while I shirk on both real life and writing.
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