#i have two more to post for jan but i started them before this one

[kedreeva]

I saw your post yesterday with Bug and the peachicks, and the tiny tail fan made me lol. For some reason it never occurred to me that the fan would appear at the first fledge; I have to ask, when do the plumes on young peacocks start getting ostentatious?

That's actually her tail, not her train! And they don't really fledge the way other birds do, considering they are born with full flight feathers

(pictured: a freshly-hatched, damp peachick with full flight pinfeathers resting partially on OP's fingers while sitting on their leg)

That little bastard will pretty much be flight ready as soon as the sheaths are off those feathers. They waste no time. The train actually consists of modified tail coverts and back feathers, and is supported by a VERY large tail

(pictured: the medial tail feather of an opal peacock, which is as long as OP's outstretched arm)

But the train feathers will be down for a lot longer than it takes them to grow any tail feathers, and the tail feathers come in later than the wings. In fact, the crown feathers come in sooner than the back and tail coverts stop being down!

Up front you should know that all peafowl age up on Jan 1st of a new year (so a chick born in march and a chick born in sept both become "yearlings" at the first Jan 1st after hatch, and two year olds at the next Jan 1st, etc). This is important for understanding that presentation can vary WIDELY between birds of the same "age" because no one is talking about literal age, they are speaking of hatch year age.

It's generally understood that males will get a "baby" train as yearlings, where their feathers elongate a LITTLE, and have wedges at the tips. At two they may begin to show hurls, and many 2 year olds (especially early hatches before June) will have an eye feather or two. SOME males, in warmer climates, will develop more of a train that second year, but it typically looks like a scraggly teenager trying to grow a beard. By 3 years old, they generally have a train, though it may be lacking length. Between 3 and 6, they will grow in a longer train each year, and at 6 they are considered fully mature, with a train that is pretty much as long as it's going to get. (this is also the age you can expect blackshoulder birds will have all the coloring they are going to get on their wings; some have wings that turn fully solid [desired] and some retain marbling closer to the body [considered a fault]).

[kanmom51]

Is this JM I see on Weverse or is it a mirage?

Well well well, not a mirage. Indeed JM has given us a sign of life.

And quite a sign of life it was.

Before I share some of my thoughts on this, let's look at the numbers for a sec.

JM posted 29.1.2025 at 20:30 or 8:30 pm KST.

On Weverse it shows up as 29 Jan 20:30.

2+9=11

1+2+3=6

We get:

11/6

Which happens to be the day they are discharged from the military.

Coincidence?

I think not. Not when it's JM posting. Not when he's talking to us about the "what comes next after military"...

But there is more...

If we take the date: 29.1.25

2+9+2=13

1+5=6

13/6

Same date 29.1.25 and we can play around with the numbers some more:

2+9=11

1+2+5=8

8/11

One more of those times where JM's choice of date and time leave you wondering...

Yes, this was JM sending us a Happy New Year (Seollal) message. And Seollal was on 29 January this year. But it was celebrated between the 28 Jan and 30 Jan, so he could have sent the message either on the 28th (that's also when we got the message from Jin and Hobi) or the 30th. He chose to post on the 29th. At the time he did. And he also decided to let us in a little, more than just a cute HNY greeting.

Now that I got that out of the way, let's talk about what JM actually had to tell us.

Translation by @btsinthemoment

Obviously I want to talk a little about what JM had to tell us about JK and himself.

I thought of sharing a few translations here. They differ a little one from the other, but the gist of it is the same.

This one is from @btsinthemoment

and a couple more from AI online translators:

and this one:

Before I get to what JM says here, I do feel the need to remind everyone of just how intelligent JM is, how thought out and well spoken.

This post came to mind:

Don't listen to me, listen to JK.

JM is super articulate and ever so careful when he words his messages. They ever so often are layered and nuanced (just like his songs).

And this message from him is no different.

The structure of the message. I - WE - I. Talking about himself - sneaking in the talk about JK and himself (WE) and finishing up with going back to talking about himself (ending it with his love for us). You might even look at it like a prologue - story - epilogue... framing the "WE"...

As part of the "prologue" JM talks about his daily routine in the military.

He really doesn't need to mention JK at this point, tell us they spend their spare time together, because JK already did.

So, JM just mentions the daily routine, tells us how his days are more or less the same since he's enlisted, but that there has been a change since the start of the year. And this change is in the content of the conversations he and JK have before sleeping (and I do think he's talking about 1 Jan 2025, not Seollal, since he's talking about conversations that the two are already having).

Listen to what he's saying.

The content of the conversation has changed since the start of the year, but them having these conversations, that is very much part of his daily routine.

He is saying it loud and clear:

"Prologue":

"The actual story":

And just like JK "happened" to mention JM in his live (no "happened" what so ever, it was fully intentional, including the whole "when we shower together" comment), JM "happens" (nope...) to mention JK.

This is intentional.

They are telling us something.

They are intertwining their messages.

A message from JK is still a message from him, but he is telling us how JM is part of his life, his day to day life, including the miniscule things like exercising and washing up.

A message from JM is still a message from him, but he is telling us how JK is part of his life, his day to day life, including the ordinary things like having those conversation just before sleeping.

They want us to know (not only speculate or guess either way) that their daily routines are intertwined with each other. Not out of necessity (to those that claim they didn't choose to enlist together or that enlisting together didn't mean spending free time together), but out of choice (spending free time together away from the others, showering daily together, having heart to heart talks before going to sleep).

Let's talk about JM's use of "we" shall we?

Again, this is JM presenting himself and JK to us as a unit.

He is telling us that he and JK have these meaningful heart to heart conversations just before going to sleep.

This is said obviously, clearly. But it's, once again, layered.

JM's words can be seen as talking, planning their professional lives moving forward.

JM's words can also be more.

And make no mistake. JM is in touch with the other members. Members he is super close to and with whom he has conversations about the what and how of after military service. And yet, the ones he is having with JK are the ones he is mentioning. These are not only about the what and how. These are about MORE. And here is where the layering and nuancing comes into place again, JM being JM.

The way he just adds it in: "and what kind of lives we will lead from now on..."

The translations are a little different in their wording, one talking about what kind of life they will lead moving forward or what kind of life they will lead in the future. But to me the message is one and the same.

The two thinking, contemplating, discussing how their lives will look like moving forward together. The two of them.

They are having conversations about how their future will be. And this is once again JM showing us how important they are to one another. What they are to each other.

Someone they plan their future together with.

And I can't help but wonder if this message is one more of little (or not so little) hints and crumbs we've been getting from them since their joint enlistment that something is going to change once they get out. Not with them. They have always have been good and will be good. But about how they will be presenting themselves to us. Not just as individuals (that too), but as the two of them together.

A couple perhaps...

[twig-tea]

GL Odds and Ends January 2025

I'm still trying to figure out what 2025 means for me in terms of where and how I spend my time, but one thing I am passionate about is making sure there is a record of GL media, so I'm going to try to prioritize keeping this up to at minimum monthly, though I might change up the format. Last one was end of December 2024. If you're interested in GL older than that, check out my GL rec list and my #gl recs tag for the other odds and ends posts. Series new to the roundup are marked with an asterisk*.

Currently airing (with thoughts up to 31 Jan):

Petrichor ep 9/10 (Thai, Saturdays, 10:00 AM ET, iQIYI) I've appreciated the struggle that Tul has gone through in terms of wanting to use her police powers to protect her family though that goes against her morals, and some of the procedural aspects I was grumbling about before have been explained by the plot. However, it still bothers me that she's not a very good detective. That being said, Engfa and Charlotte still have fantastic chemistry, and Na is having what seems like the time of his life.

*Us the series ep 2/12 (Thai, Saturdays, 8:00 AM ET, YouTube) I admit I think I have Chao Planoy fatigue. Age gap, both characters are lying to each other, there are abusive family members, and a guy who seems nice but I'm braced for a reveal about how he's actually awful. I'm feeling like I'm playing bingo. Honestly If someone gets hit by a car I might lose it. All my baggage aside, the pacing on this feels uneven and it doesn't feel like it has its feet yet.

*Call Me By No Name ep 4/8 (Japanese, Thursdays, 12:30 PM ET, GagaOOLala) Honestly I am not buying the romance between these two protagonists and I am finding them a little overwrought.

*Trunk Girl ep 1/? (Korean, possibly Thursdays, YouTube) This has just started, and the vibes are off. I am suspicious of the circumstances that led this runaway to stay with her friend, especially when she kissed her in her sleep (and I don't mean suspicious of sapphic feelings, those are already taken as given considering the genre).

*FirstLOVE ep 5/? (Korean, Mondays, YouTube) Toxic girlfriend gets replaced and then regrets letting her lover go. We'll see how this ends but this is another messy drama that feels pretty rough.

*I Am Devil ep 5/? (Thai, Saturdays, YouTube) Gonna be honest with y'all I watched ep1 and shelved the rest, it's a pulp in the style of high drama like Sastra and JPC below produce and just isn't my jam. If you're looking for high heat lakorn-style drama, give this a try.

[Note: Mate is still airing if you did not fast track, but since I did I've included it in the following section]

Recently Completed:

The Fragrance You inherit 8eps 25mins each (Japanese, 8 Nov 24-27 Dec 24, no official distribution but fansub on @isaksbestpillow's blog[thank you Siiri!] I loved this finale and wrote about it here. For those who don't want to click the link, in short this is not a romance but a really beautiful and sweet show about all kinds of interpersonal relationships.

Pluto 12eps 45 mins each (Thai, 19 Oct 24-04 Jan 25, YouTube) This series showcased the skills and chemistry of Namtan and Film, and had some of the most iconic product placement in a GL to date. The plot was messy but held together, and as much as I was unimpressed with their choices week to week, their choices made sense within the narrative (and genre) being told. I knew this one wasn't for me, but what it was doing, it did pretty well, and beautifully. The one real ding from me was the use of blindness as a metaphor that essentially got handwaved away; that and I think it was doing too much. But I am glad that before that, there was some great use of their platform to highlight the importance of universal design.

INTP 4eps 5 mins each (Korean, 27 Dec 24-22 Jan 25 YouTube) This is the latest short series from RedQ, who produced some of my favourite GL short series including More than or equal to 75 degrees C, and To the Ex who Hated Me. I said when this started that the setup of this one reminded me of Semantic Error if SangWoo realized he was attracted to JaeYoung at their first group assignment meeting, and I think that holds. These two fell for each other because they both care about the group project, and both protect each other. It's a bit short but I found it very sweet.

Mate, 12eps 50+ mins each (Thai, 26 Nov 24-28 Jan 25 fast-track or 4 Feb 25, WeTV (uncut version)) In the end this show remained a struggle for me. There were things it was doing that I really liked (the characters tried hard not to resort to noble idiocy, and when characters did resort to noble idiocy they were confronted with the consequences, for example), and things that I really did not, and there were parts that were really hard to watch and will haunt me. There are a lot of things I like about this show, so I don't want to discourage views. Just go into this one informed, and make the decision that's right for you.

*Adrenaline 4eps 15 mins each (Thai, 10 Jan-31 Jan 25, YouTube) This show is a cross between a travel ad and a lakorn. This is a major spoiler, but the main character has a secret condition where she forgets things that causes her to forget her first time with her girlfriend!? This show is so messy lol

Recent One-offs, Side Couples, etc.:

Fireworks of Yesteryear/When We Met has been made available on YouTube. A 35-minute Chinese GL that includes a makeout and as a result the production team have been working hard to get it in front of eyeballs. This is a moody piece with an open ending; there's an age gap too so YMMV (30s and 22).

GL microseries Your Name Engraved Herein (not to be confused with the BL feature film) has been subtitled by @douqi7s. Watch the original on Bilibili and enjoy the subs on YouTube. This one is also melancholy but it's some really tight storytelling in under 2 mins and manages to feel hopeful even though it's sad.

There is a lesbian side couple in Flirt Milk the series (airing now on iQIYI). This couple Noon and Praewa previously appeared as sides in Love Senior.

There is a new MV featuring a lesbian couple for the artist KnomJean on YouTube. This is one of those MVs that tells a story (TW for family violence) and after getting through the sad backstory, celebrates marriage equality in Thailand.

IdolFactory is re-running GAP the series on YouTube. If you've been putting off watching, now is a good time!

Speaking of re-runs, Yes Or No and the two sequel/spinoffs (Yes or No 2, and Yes or No 2.5) are all newly on GagaOOLala for streaming in some regions (I know for sure they're in North America, not sure about others)

Uranus2324 is starting to show up in particular places on the internet. I watched it and after all of the negative things I'd heard I actually liked it lol I'll see if I can write about it more this week

My suspected wlw sides in See Your Love ended up being implied only I was a little sad about this but at least I wasn't imagining the vibes.

Mom Ped Sawan is still airing but I still don't have a source for subs

Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out

Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so; that being said I haven't had time recently so if I've missed anything good let me know!

Starting soon:

Reverse With Me (sequel spinoff to Reverse 4 U), Thai, 5 Feb, iQIYI and Ch3+ app

Fragrance of the First Flower s2, Taiwanese, 18 February 2025, GagaOOLala ok this isn't that soon but I'm just so excited we're getting this second season after all!

As always, if I'm missing anything, please let me know!

[lj-lephemstar]

Progress Checkup! (Jan. 2025) | Scratchin' Melodii Devlog

Hey guys! Time for another progress checkup; This is actually the first one of the new year! I hope you were all able to enjoy the holidays. I took a bit of a break from working on most stuff last month and have been getting back on things this month. First, I wanna thank everyone who's wishlisted Scratchin' Melodii on Steam! So far, the game's gotten over 17,000 wishlists! Thanks so much for the support!

In the previous devlog, I mentioned some changes to the rhythm system. In the Dragon Funk preview, you can see the new rhythm system and character icons I mentioned in the previous devlog! Actually, let's unpack some of the new things you're seeing in action there:

Hold Notes This is the first song in the game to include hold-notes! They mostly work the same as they would in any other rhythm game. However, since this game has an emphasis on self expression, moving the control stick during these will let you tune the note's pitch-bend for extra expression points! I showed that off in a post here. As for Pow Notes, I've been working on a way to let the player get expression points from these too! I'd like for most of the special notes like these to be not just a gimmick, but a tool that the player can use to their advantage.

Quadruple Lines Yep! The first blue line in this one is extra long and has 4 rows! Fun fact actually, I had to implement this feature after I realized that part of the song was too long to fit in just two rows. It was pretty difficult to figure out both how to do it and how to execute it in a way that doesn't feel too jarring, but I'm pretty satisfied with the results! In fact, barely anyone's even noticed it; I guess that's just how natural it feels! Not sure how much more often I'll be having lines longer than two rows, but it's great that I have the option now.

AutoPlay You might also notice that the player inputs are perfectly timed... TOO perfect... that's because I've developed an autoplay feature for the game! At the moment, it's mostly for debugging and stuff, but if all goes according to plan, AutoPlay Mode and Replays should hopefully be available to players as well in some form when the game comes out!

"Next" Indicator & Other UI Related QoL Some of the top things players said they had trouble with in the demo were related to being prepared for the next line. So, if you look at the right-end of the rhythm bars, you'll see a little tab that shows the color and amount of rows the next line will have! Also, now each line's suggested notes can be seen before the rival performs them. This did take some thought, as I actually kinda still liked the idea of it appearing as if the characters were making it up on the spot, but to put game design first, it makes more sense to have it displayed as soon as possible so the player has more time to react and prepare. This also opens up more possibilities for future mechanics, so in the long run, I think I've made the best choice here.

Now, let's get into what I've been and/or will be working on that you haven't seen yet!

Act 2's Boss The music for the Act 2 Boss is  nearly complete! I'll likely be starting to animate it pretty soon. This song is the longest one I've done so far, clocking at a duration of a little over 3 minutes long!

More Animation Updates for Stir & Mix At this point, I've done even more cleanups on the sequence you saw in the last devlog and I've finished animating the "I wanna" scene of the song, which will probably have the most changes out of any other scene in the song. When I first animated Stir & Mix, I didn't quite have the time or skills to do everything I really wanted to do with it. That scene in particular I felt was WAY too stiff and boring, especially compared to the more dynamic and fluid scenes that appear in some of the other the stages now. I'd say I'm about halfway done retouching all the animations for this one!

Refined Model Sheets I don't talk about these very often, but sometime around 2023 I started using model/reference sheets for the characters. (I might show them off someday, but for now they're staying private!) Before this point, the designs are pretty inconsistent from shot to shot, so this helped a lot with that. Recently, I've done some revisions I'm really pleased with. Their designs are finally becoming... well, final! I'll be reworking the affected characters' hub world sprites at some point to reflect these changes.

Slight Reworks for some Act 1 Songs On the sound side, Stir & Mix's vocals have been reworked again! As I've mentioned in the previous devlog, 2cada's tuning style and techniques have evolved a bit since we first started working together, so we thought it'd be fun to go back and incorporate some of that into it. We'll also probably be reworking the structure of Nami's song a little bit at some point just to make it a feel a bit more solid, which may require a new line or two from her voice actor, Meggie-Elise! So funnily enough, it seems some of the songs will have end up having TWO unused beta versions after this.

Also, a quick PSA: Please note that beta versions of content will NOT be included in the full game. I've heard people ask for them to be "brought back" or toggleable, but in my situation something like that is both easier said than done and I also just... don't want to LOL. With as many directions I can take this game, I know I can't satisfy everyone, but I can make a game that satisfies me, so I'm aiming for that! And hey, maybe other people will like it too.

I think that's all I wanna talk about for now! Thanks so much for reading. It can be a bit of a daunting task to write these at times, but I'm glad to keep you up to date on the project when I can.

-LJ

[kirathehyrulian]

💚🧡Wayward Sons Zine 2025🧡💚 🌅We Time🌅

@waywardsonszine (Please do not edit/alter. Feel free to reblog, but please do not repost. At the very least please give me credit.) | Zine•Tumblr | Zine•AO3 | Zine•Download |

Section: Teen Description: Teen Sam and Dean in swim trunks laying on a dock at a lake soaking up the sun.

For more art from me please check out my “myart” tag here on Tumblr or my AO3.

👇( wip screenshots and notes below the cut) 👇

For more detailed notes and better resolution pics: [AO3 link]

Art Notes:

So, to give a rough outline of the timeline, I hadn't successfully drawn anything since late September 2024 despite me wanting to. Fast-forward to Jan 24, 2025, I get tagged in the Wayward Sons Zine Vol. 4 sign up post. I had previously contributed to this Zine for it's 1st and 2nd volumes. I skipped participating in the 3rd because I was stepping back from a lot of group fandom events in 2024 and in some part eventually a lot of fandom as a whole.

I had to think about it long and hard before I finally made a decision. I knew I wasn't in the best place to make a commitment, but if I didn't take this chance I'd probably still be stuck in the artless state I was in. So, on the last day to sign up, even down to the last few hours iirc, I click on that google form and filled it out.

Feb. 1st, I was assigned the teen section and started brainstorming.

Feb. 3rd, I had an initial idea of Sam sleeping in bed unaware, while Dean is sitting on the side of the bed watching the windows, armed with a shotgun, staring outside for the monsters lurking around their room. Dean right hand is covering Sam's mouth to keep Sam from making any noise and Sam is supposed to be unconsciously holding gripping his right arm for comfort.

I transferred the right most sketch to a canvas in PaintTool SAI to start the process and immediately my fear took over. I didn't feel confident enough to make a recognizable young Jared!Sam and Jensen!Dean from these angles. And the anatomy would be more complicated than I wanted to go forward with. Also getting the perspective on the room right was intimidating. And the bittersweet-cold theme I had in my head for this idea was starting to depress me. So, I eventually scrapped this idea and tried to think of more lighthearted themes.

By Feb. 12th I had come up with three more ideas. The middle left one is the idea I eventually decided on to pursue. But the middle right was one brother shivering in a lake and the other sneaking up on him ready to pull their feet under. The bottom right was probably them relaxing in trees tops, hammocks, or a piles of books. I can't remember anymore. Dean half-sleeping and Sam reading slightly behind him.

Feb. 28th was our first check in and I sent in this screenshot to Digital. I hadn't made much progress since I had transferred the photo of the traditional sketch over to the art program. My procrastinating was already showing it's ugly head.

I think in fact from here on out most, if not all, of wip screenshots are just work I did that same day I took them. Not much would have been done in between except for the last few days when I tried to cram everything in.

March 10th, I had made significant progress on Sam and Dean's figures. I switched Dean's arms to be behind his head instead of crossing on his stomach. The less hands to draw the better. Also I planned to have Sam and Dean's legs disappearing into the water of whatever lake their visiting.

March 19th, I took two screenshots. One to show the plan I had for the background; swimming fish, tree reflections, and blurry foreground tree branches. The second to showcase I had updated Sam and Dean's face and move Sam's arms to cross over his stomach than folding his hands on his stomach.

March 25th, I started to panic about my lack of progress since it was already around the half way mark of time we were allowed. So after I cleaned up the sketch for the dock, adjusted Sam's face, made a more detailed sketch of Sam's arms, I jumped straight into line art stage for Sam.

The second check-in ended up happening on April 1st. And I said, "I'm in the lineart stage. I wished I was a little further along but I believe every bit of progress made counts and is still good progress. I'm still optimistic I'll get done on time."

But I didn't make any progress past the March 25th wip until April the 3rd. I finished Sam's lineart and made his hand a little bigger in hopes to make it more proportional.

April 16th, and I'm kind of panicking a little because I only have nine days left. But I'm not giving up completely and I start working on Dean's lineart.

April 21th, I have more of Dean's lineart from head to torso mostly figured out, but I'm debating on whether or not I should tell the mods I might not make it for the deadline. But, I'm still stubbornly holding out hope.

I started to make significant progress behind the scenes after this point. But, around the 24th I knew I wasn't going to make the deadline and had to dm Digital to inform her, apologize, and convey that I understood the consequences that I might not be allowed to participate in the final zine.

Digital mercifully allowed me a day or two over the deadline and asked me to keep her updated.

On April 25th, I took two screenshots for myself and made more official flattened layer png wip to share with Digital. I believe around this time I shorted the canvas size because I didn't have time for the background anymore. The first screenshot that day was taken 6:14 am. I had finished all the lineart. The second was taken at 8:09 am. I had filled in all my base colors. I made the png file for Digital at 2:15 pm. and all I added was the shading and luminosity atmosphere layers on top of all the other layers.

I was not going to make it in time because I still needed add the shading, lighting, water details, some foreground greenery if I can around to it and detailing on the swimming trunks. And informed Digital I would need at the very least another day. Digital said okay and that she would inform Lemons about it.

I scrambled to finish for the remaining of the 25th and into the 26th. Iirc, the last thing I did on the 25th was make the swimming trunks patterns.

I woke up around 7 am and immediately went to work on Sam's shading and lighting. And because I started Sam's first I was able to spend more time on it. But, because I took more time on Sam that ate into the time I had for Dean. I ended up having to rush Dean's rendering and he suffered a little bit for it. But, it had to be good enough. Then I added Sam and Dean's shadows to the dock and added a little more shading to the right of the line's separating each wood panel.

After Sam and Dean's shading and lighting I added a free wood texture I had saved from google images a while back to the dock on a multiply layer. I added in a lower opacity layer of Sam and Dean's skin color extending from their legs with blurring at the ends to replicate the effect of their legs sinking into the water. Then I looked up a free water texture on google images to add for the water. And then I added a little bit of luminosity to both the dock and water.

After all this I immediately sent this in at 9:24 pm on April 26th to Lemons, not knowing until I looked back on it on the late morning of the 28th that the water texture wasn't covering the top right corner. *silent tears*

I am so thankful that Lemons allowed and accepted the fixed file I sent in a few hours later after that discovery. (hours because I debated on whether or not I should even mention it and brazenly send in a fix file in hopes that it would be accepted)

In the fixed file besides adjusting the water texture layer, I also took the liberty to change Dean's freckles to a low opacity dark red color instead of just straight low opacity black and added a little more shading to the ab below Dean's right pectoral. But other than that I didn't do anything more because not only did I not want to look at it anymore but also because it felt unfair to do anything else even though I knew it need more work in some areas.

Anyways that's all the steps it took to get to the final work you see up top. 💀🎉

Thank you to @digitalmeowmix for this event and thank you to @fictionallemons for compiling the Zine. And thank you both again for your patience and understanding.♥♥♥ 🫂

🎶Main musical inspiration: Lana Del Rey "Music To Watch Boys To"

Honorable mentions: Lana Del Rey "Say Yes To Heaven" Aurora "Runaway" JP Saxe "If the World Was Ending ft. Julia Michaels"

[nice-and-accurate-fictions]

Teachers and professors AUs.

What it says on the title. For more recs on thus theme please visit one of the blogs I suggest in my pinned post, and always check the reblogs in all my posts as other fiction readers keep adding excellent recs of fics I haven't read!

Mon Horrible Chéri, by ghostrat. Rated E. P. Niv 23.

I do have a soft spot for enemies-to-lovers AU. This one doesn't disappoint one bit. Crowley and Aziraphale teach science and literature in the same high school and they hate each other (aw... how cute are they when they hate each other whilst being attracted to each other?). When Beelzebub is injured just before the school trip to Paris, Aziraphale has to step in to replace them. When he agreed he didn't know that the other teacher accompanying the children was Crowley. Everything you're looking for in a sweet, funny, romantic enemies to lovers fiction ensues. Highly, highly recommended. 

Keep It Casual, by Kiez21. Rated E, 46k. P. Jan 24.

Crowley has just moved to Tadfield with his nephew Warlock. He has a one night stand with a handsome stranger. The day after he goes to meet Warlock’s new teacher. Yes, you guessed right.

The Shared Desk Dilemma, by MissUnderstoodLyrics. Rated E, 32k. P. Feb 24.

Fantastic enemies to lovers human AU. This is one of those stories I read a long time ago (you probably did, too), and I still remember all the feels and the giggles it gave me. Professor Anthony Crowley is starting a new job at Eden University. He has to share an office and a desk with Professor Aziraphale Eastgate. Of course the two men can't stand each other. Sexual tension and deep feelings ensue.

[modern-politics111]

This Inauguration Day, remember two things: You are not alone. And you have the power to help

Today, it's normal and expected to feel afraid and angry. So much has been said about Trump's plans and all the terrible things he wants to do. And many well-meaning voices have talked about these plans so often, they feel inevitable.

I want this post to serve as a history lesson for younger readers, and a reminder for old folks like me. The big lesson: We've faced exactly this situation before. We got out of it. And we have the power to do it again.

Here's what I mean:

You are not alone

Trump and the GOP want you to feel like everyone supports him now. They're acting like all Americans are full MAGA now and that the culture has shifted away from liberalism.

But that's not true. The man won a small popular vote victory on the back of millions of voters not showing up this time. Check the research; in most cases, the "huge shifts towards Trump" was really voters not showing up. Not good, of course, but not a sign of a mass conversion to MAGA.

And communities like this one still exist. We're not just here to be a community - more on that in a sec - but you're among 60,000 friends across America and internationally who aren't OK with this. And those groups exist in real life, too, likely near you.  Check them out, because being too online is part of the problem, too. And the Internet is where a lot of the non-stop wave of untrue predictions of doom come from.

Find your community of people who want to resist. Start here, and look around offline. But remember that there are millions just like you, who want to stop this.

You have the power to help

Let's get this out of the way: There will be elections. Elections we can win. Elections that matter.

Don't believe me? Come back tomorrow (Jan 21). There's an election in South Carolina - State House District 113 in North Charleston, Hanahan, and Summerville, to be exact. It's a safe Democratic seat, just the kind of seat a tyrant would prevent elections in. When the polls close tomorrow at 7, you'll see that we still have elections.

Then we have a chance to build Dem power in Iowa, maintain control of the Minnesota State Senate, and choose our candidates for two critical US House elections. Those elections will happen, too.

Later in the year, we've got to maintain control of the WI and PA Supreme Courts, win back the Virginia Governor's office, and flip state and local governments across America. Those elections will happen, too.

In 2017, we all got a lesson in government. Specifically, that state and local governments can do a lot to resist the President's agenda. These races are where the power is. And when you start winning, you build momentum and energy. Then you can win races you thought Democrats had no business winning.

And that's why this sub exists. To inform you of these elections, and give you the tools to help win them from anywhere.

You can help win all sorts of elections right now. I know. Today is hard, and it hurts. But a secret I've learned is that sitting in your misery, or yelling it into the void, rarely makes things better. The cure for sorrow is changing the situation. And you'll be amazed at how easily Trump folds on his big promises when he gets a little resistance.

You are not alone. You have the power to help. And we're right here with you.

[jokeroutsubs]

📝ENG Translation: Jan Peteh goes ‘all natural’

Read full article below the cut👇

Is this the end of Slovenia’s coolest guitarist, or just a new chapter in his wild life?

“I figured it was a good time to explore my passions outside of music,” Jan says, thoughtfully. “The rush of playing sold-out shows all over the world is incredible, but it can’t compete with the quiet thrill of watching a rabbit clean its ears for 30 minutes.”

Joker Out fans have always known to expect the unexpected from Slovenia’s beloved shagadelic rock ’n’ roll band, but Jan Peteh’s latest venture might be the wildest one yet. During the band’s two-month break to recharge after a whirlwind 2024, Jan traded in stage lights and amplifiers for something a little more…natural.

Yes, you heard that right. Over the past two months, Jan Peteh has been living out his David Attenborough fantasies—wandering forests, filming wildlife, and honing his narration skills. But whether this career pivot is permanent or just a creative detour remains up in the air.

Photo by: National Geographic Slovenia

The Call of the Wild

If you’ve followed Jan on social media, you’ll know this isn’t entirely out of left field. While fans look to his Instagram hoping for backstage antics or hints at new music, they’re more likely to see an urban fox, bunny rabbit, or a glimpse of Jan’s beloved cat Igor.

“I started posting animals ironically,” Jan admits, deadpan. “You know, ‘Here’s a fox, it’s cute, whatever.’ But then one day, I realised I was watching clips of rabbits instead of practicing guitar. It was a real…hop-iphany.”

Armed with a camera, a love for nature, and his signature dry wit, Jan has spent the past two months trekking through Slovenia’s forests and urban landscapes, capturing foxes in the mist and whispering about ecosystems. The project, tentatively dubbed Peteh’s Planet or Wilding With Jan, is still a work in progress—but fans are already eager to see what he’s been up to.

“I could stand in a forest all day, murmuring about habitat conservation while a camera zooms in on a badger,” Jan says with a shrug. “Maybe I’ll release it online or something, as a special in our ‘Welcome to the Backstage’ series.”

From Rock Star to Wildlife Whisperer

This new venture is equal parts unexpected and, on reflection, totally on brand. Longtime fans will remember Jan’s infamous turn as a phone sex operator in a playful promotion a while back. His voice, honeyed and deep, sent pulses racing across Slovenia and beyond. Now, he plans to use that same sultry tone to lull viewers into a trance—albeit one featuring burrowing owls instead of steamy whispers.

“I realised that if I could get people hot and bothered talking about an album release gig, I should use my powers for good, and make them care about endangered species.”

Bunnies Before Bandmates?

The news of Jan’s detour into nature documentaries has understandably sent fans into a frenzy. Are Joker Out in danger of losing their guitarist for good? Jan’s answer is as ambiguous as ever.

“I’m not saying I’m done with music,” he clarifies. “But right now, I’ve got this wildlife itch to scratch. I haven’t decided if I’m ready to trade in guitar solos for badger close-ups forever.”

And what about the rest of the band? According to Jan, they’ve been supportive, if a little skeptical.

“Kris is already obsessed with animal print, so he’s on board. He’s been talking about getting me a fox costume for the stage,” Jan laughs. “Bojan still thinks this is some kind of elaborate joke.”

The upcoming project still has no release date (much like Joker Out’s next tour) but one thing we can say for sure is that Jan Peteh, the wildlife whisperer, will soon be strumming his way into the hearts of nature enthusiasts everywhere.

[austinslounge]

The KRAZY Kaustin Relationship 🤡 Circus (2024 Timeline)

(Hey everyone! 👋 Since I was starting to get mixed up and confused with all of the dates and drama going on in this ghetto situationship, I figured I would create a timeline so we can track this craziness. It might also help make clearer some of the things going on in this clown-show 🤡 of a "relationship" lol. 😂 **PLEASE feel free to let me know if there are any relevant things missing that you feel that I should definitely add to this year's timeline. I will continue to update as time goes on.)

2024:

December 2023/Jan 2024 - Austin went to Cabo with Kaia and her family for their annual Christmas Holiday and New Year's vacation. Link 1 Link 2

January 5, 2024 - Kaia posts a cringey Instagram story where she's crying because Ayo wins the Golden Globe that night, and some shippers swear that it was Austin filming her.

But Callum and Austin both state (twice, in two different interviews for MOTA press) that they were watching the Golden Globes together, "just the two of them", at Austin's "pad", and one article even mentions that "no girlfriends" were around. Link

January 10, 2024 - Life & Style posts an article stating that Cindy Crawford "doesn't want Kaia to wait for a commitment from Austin Butler". This seems to be one of the first few times the couple has ever received any type of negative press about their relationship. Link

Austin has the MOTA premiere in LA.  The L&S article came out on the same exact day as his MOTA red carpet premiere.  

March 13, 2024 - Austin and Kaia are spotted at the gym in LA looking just as bland together (as always).  Link    These pictures were taken the day right before Kaia's "Palm Royale" red carpet premiere night on March 14th. Link  

Presley posts a picture of him with Austin at the Palm Royale premiere.  

FOR MORE: CLICK BELOW! 😁👇

May 25, 2024 - Kaustin did a NYC Pap Stroll where they both look miserable.    Link 1 Link 2

May 26, 2024 - Austin kicks off "The Bikeriders" press tour with Jodie at the Indy500 race. Fans immediately notice that he looks way happier with Jodie than he looked with his gf Kaia just a day ago in NYC.  Link 1 Link 2 Link 3

May 27, 2024 - People.com posts an exclusive from a source that claims that Austin and Kaia are "still happy and in love". Many fans strongly suspect that this was a message put out from Kaia's team because they both looked so miserable in NYC, and perhaps the media reached out to ask what is going on, or perhaps her team herself reached out to People.com to put out this fluff article.  Link 

May 31, 2024 - Life & Style posts an exclusive story from a source that claims that Austin and Kaia "have nothing in common and they know it".  Link

June 4, 2024 - Fans noticed that Austin liked a post on Instagram (Posted on May 24th) about girls "with two A's in her name".  The post was tagged #toxicrelationships  Link 1 Link 2

June 9, 2024 - DeuxMoi posts on her "Sunday Spotted" a message from a sender that says they supposedly saw Austin, Kaia, Camila Morrone, and her boyfriend Cole in the Cayman Islands together.  The sighting seems strange (and fake) since Austin has been on a Bikeriders Press Tour the whole entire time.  Link

August 3, 2024 - Kaia is in Montana for a Gerber Family Wedding (Cousin). Austin was not in attendance. 

August 8th or 9th, 2024 - Austin is spotted arriving at JFK Airport wearing a Library Sciences shirt from Kaia's book club merchandise. Link 1 Link 2

August 16, 2024 - Presley Unfollows Austin (AGAIN) lol 

August 17, 2024 - Austin's Birthday Pap Stroll.  Link 1 Link 2 

August 18, 2024 - Pictures of Austin hanging with Dylan O'brien at the Joyface bar/club in NYC surface on DeuxMoi "Sunday Spotted". It was stated that there was "No Kaia".  Link 1 Link 2

August 21, 2024 - Austin spotted with Channing Tatum and Zoe Kravitz in NYC Manhattan at the "Blink Twice" after party.  The difference between how happy and lively he looks with them, vs how lackluster and bored he looked just the night prior while out with Kaia is not lost on fans. 

Link 1 Link 2 Link 3

August 27, 2024 - Austin spotted in Muskoka with Kaia and the Gerbers  Link 1 Link 2

On this same day, Kaia posts the "Dear Dickhead" post to her Instagram while on vacation in Muskoka. Link

September 4, 2024 - Kaia's birthday at Disneyland. Actress Ayo Edibiri and Presley's gf were also in attendance, but Austin was not present. Link 

Presley posts a birthday tribute to his sister Kaia on Instagram, and in it, he posts a picture of Austin with them at a Halloween event last year. Link

September 9, 2024 - Austin begins filming "Caught Stealing" in NYC around this time.

September 10, 2024 - Kaia and SNL movie co-star Corey Michael Smith do an interview on the red carpet that raises a few eyebrows. She appears to be flirting with him. Link 1 Link 2

September 15, 2024 - DeuxMoi's "Sunday Spotted" post mentions Kaia and Marcello were spotted at The Odeon restaurant in NYC, and were "all over each other".  They were supposedly "ignoring everyone else at their table", and one point went downstairs together for 20 minutes.  

Interestingly enough, DeuxMoi also posted that a fan saw Austin at iSodi restaurant inside, and that Kaia was walking in the general vicinity, but weren't together.

■

■

September 16, 2024 - Kaia and Marcello appear to be at a friend's party at Victoria Bar (NYC) getting kind of close for a woman who's supposedly in a relationship with another man.  Link 1 Link 2 Link 3

September 19, 2024 - Marcello untagged himself from the photos with Kaia at the party in NYC.

September 20, 2024 - Life & Style posts that Austin is "outgrowing" his relationship with Kaia, and that Kaia is "trying to stay interesting" in order to keep him interested. Link 

September 21, 2024 - Kaia is in LA celebrating her best friend Travis' birthday. Link 1 Link 2

Austin attends the "Dune: Part 2" FYC event in NYC with Timothee, Zendaya and Denis. Link 1 Link 2

September 29, 2024 - DeuxMoi posts portions of her podcast that deal with Austin and Kaia, and she swears that Austin and Kaia are still together.  She also posts (for the first time) a supposed Kaustin "sighting" that said that Austin and Kaia were spotted together getting coffee on the weekend (14th) and that they looked "happy" and "in love". She never posted this sighting until now.   Link

On DM's Sunday Spotted, someone reported that they saw Austin and Kaia at iSodi restaurant in NYC. Link

October 1, 2024 - Kaia is spotted out at a play in NYC with Camila Morrone's boyfriend, Cole Bennett.  Link 1 Link 2

The Daily Mail posts the outing with Kaia and Cole to their website.  Link

Marie Claire also posts about the outing, and even claims that Austin and Kaia have broken up.   Link 

Earlier this day, DeuxMoi posted a supposed sighting from one of her followers that said that they "worked with Kaia during TIFF" and saw that she was FaceTiming Austin at one point, and that they were "incredibly loving" and "happy" over the phone.  

That evening (Oct 1st), Kaia is spotted with Cole Bennet (Camila's bf) going to a play in NYC, and the outing looked like a date, so much so that Marie Claire and The Daily Mail were even speculating about Austin and Kaia breakup rumors lol. 😅

October 2, 2024 - Kaia is featured in Time100's issue.

Page Six puts out an article showing Kaia out to dinner with Laura Dern and Liam Hemsworth the night before, and claiming that Austin and Kaia are still together, and that there is "no trouble in paradise". Some feel that this is only damage control since it seems very odd to many that Kaia has been spotted in pictures (paps and citizen photos) all over NYC with everyone but her boyfriend. 👀 Link

The article goes on to mention that Austin was supposed to join them for dinner that night, but he got tied up with work and couldn't make the dinner. Some feel that's really strange, especially when signs stated that "Caught Stealing" was having a night shoot on October 1st, so why would he have committed to having dinner if he knew he was going to be filming that evening? 🤔

October 3, 2024 - The Daily Mail posts pictures of Austin and Zoe kissing on set for "Caught Stealing", and makes sure to let everyone know that they are just acting, and that both are in "serious, real-life relationships". 🤣😅😂 As if we the reader is dumb and didn't know that lol. 🙄Link

October 5, 2024 - Austin and Kaia attend Kaia's friend, Gracie Abram's concert in NYC together (looking miserable as usual). Link

This was their first public outing where they're papped together since the whole Marcello thing and breakup rumors. Some fans and people on the general public aren't buying it anymore though. Link

October 11, 2024 - Life & Style yet again puts out another article stating that Austin and Kaia's relationship has been having issues "for weeks", and that Cindy thinks that Kaia needs to try "harder" to "keep Austin interested", and even suggests that the couple should go to "couples therapy" together. Link 1 Link 2 Link 3

The article also hinted that Austin's career is what is most prioritized and on his mind, and that Cindy is a little upset that Kaia has been acting flirty with other guys instead of working hard to keep Austin interested in her.

October 13, 2024 - Kaia follows actor Nicholas Chavez on Instagram. Link

October 16, 2024 - The Daily Mail posts an article stating that the Gerbers are giving Austin a "fierce warning" and want him to commit to their daughter Kaia with an engagement 💍 Link

Austin starts following The Daily Mail. 👀

October 21, 2024 - Actor Nicholas Chavez follows Kaia back on Instagram. 👀 Fans notice that he liked a bunch of Kaia's pics -- even posts from 2017. 😏 Link 1 Link 2

November 2, 2024 - Kaia attends the LACMA Hollywood event in LA, and is overheard in a video talking to fellow actress Laura Dern about a "breakup" and how it came as a surprise to her. 👀 Link

November 22, 2024 - A woman/fan wearing a DeuxMoi merch sweatshirt supposedly sat next to Austin on a flight from NYC to Mexico, and they supposedly had a very long, 4-hour conversation about yoga, life, relationships, and the fan confirmed that Austin and Kaia are still together in the DM group chat. Link 1 Link 2 Link 3 Link 4

November 24, 2024 - In DeuxMoi's Sunday Spotted, Kaia was spotted with Marcello (again) and Jake Shane at an Italian restaurant (Jone's Hollywood) in LA 👀

December 4, 2024 - Austin (now shaved bald) is spotted in Tulum, Mexico with his "Caught Stealing" Director, Darren Aronofsky, at the Xieltun Park on a retreat and underground river tour. Link

The Instagram account for Xieltun stated that the pictures were taken that day. Link

Meanwhile, Kaia posted a photo of her dinner table with some man with "toe thumbs" (lol 🤭) at a restaurant in LA. Link

December 7, 2024 - Today, fans noticed that apparently, one of Kaia's best friends, Charlotte Lawrence, has unfollowed Austin. No one is sure exactly when she unfollowed him. It was just noticed on this date that she is no longer following Austin. 👀 Link 1 Link 2

December 12, 2024 - Kaia is pictured sitting on her "guy pal's" lap while being photographed with Santa at the after-party for the Babygirl premiere in LA, leading many fans online wondering whether or not Austin and Kaia are even still together. 👀 The guy friend was ID'd as Charlie Walker. Link

[zozowrites]

The Game (Fancy Pants part 2)

Paige Bueckers x actress!fem!oc Ava Radmall

Words: 4.5k

TW: religious services (church)

A/N: so I originally meant for this to be a little filler chapter buttttt ended up putting two together and adding my version of plot (there won't be too too much in this series, I'm doing my best tho).

Ava

It’s raining when I go to pick up my mom from the airport. I get out of my spunky little blue car to hug her hello and put her bag in the trunk. Then we stop at Whole Foods for the list of foods she needs to buy (which I tried to buy ahead of time but she insisted we go together, apparently it doesn’t “feel the same if she doesn’t look at it first”). 

In the parking lot I ask her to stop and turn around and catch her in such an aesthetic picture where she’s holding a bag under each arm bundled in her bright red raincoat with a slight rainbow in the background. I post it to my Instagram story and caption it “Mama and me <3” 

We get back to my place and start to put the food away when I get a text from an unknown number. 

I can’t help but smile slightly at the fact she’s texting me. 

Hey ava it's paige

cam gave me ur number hope it's cool

Hi Paige

It's cool dw

ok phew

how long is ur mom in town?

Until Jan 3, why?

does she like the lakers?

Are you wanting to take my mom on a date to a lakers game?

no no chill

she's pretty tho

Thanks??

lemme try again

does ur mom like the warriors AND CAM

I guess, why

do you have nye plans

Probably not, why

ok im getting cam lakers tickets for us for her bday

if you guys wanna join

Well you could've just said that, silly

well it was more fun this way, silly

At that I put my phone face down on the island to find my mom staring at me from across the counter, eyebrows raised. 

“Who ya texting?” She asks, always one for hot goss. Or prying questions. 

“Just a friend.” I answer, but I know I’m not controlling the upturn of my lips of blush of my cheeks very well. Yes I’m an actor but this is my mom, the woman who single-handedly raised me. 

“Okaaaaaay,” She extends the word and turns back to re-organizing the contents of my fridge, probably knowing that this is the move that never fails.

“I met Paige Bueckers at Cam’s Christmas party and she just asked if we want to go to a Laker's game for Cam’s birthday with them on New Year’s Eve.” I spill the beans. After being met with her silence, I add, “I think we’re gonna be friends!”

“And what did you say?” My mom asks, not turning away from the egg shelf she was inspecting. 

I slip into one of the stools at the hightop counter, swinging my feet in the air. “I said I’d get back to her. Do you want to go?” 

“I love CamCam, of course I’ll go. If she’ll be alright with me there, of course.” 

“Oh don’t even pretend, we both know she likes you more than me.” 

She sets down the butter that she’d moved on to and comes to stand behind me, running her hands up and down the sides of my arms. 

“I’m sorry sweetie,”

“No you’re not.”

“Yeah, no I’m not.” She says and laughs. 

My doorbell rings at 6:30 pm on Christmas Eve and I open it to find Ellie, my neighbor, just as expected. The twelve year old smiles at me as I let her in and wave to her mom, driving off to her shift at the hospital. 

We do our secret handshake (three fish slaps back and forth before a faked out high five) and she asks if my mom is here yet. When I tell her yes, she drops her backpack at my feet and bounds up the stairs from my entryway to the open-concept living space. 

“Sarah!!” I hear her shout before I can hear the impact of her jumping into my mom’s arms. I sigh to myself with a smile and bring the backpack up the stairs to place in her guest bedroom. 

I met Ellie and her mom Jules when I first moved in two years ago and got really close with them. Ellie walked my dog Frankie on my long set days and I watched Ellie during the summer on my off days and she slept at my house when her mom was working night shift. Like on Christmas Eve. Only last year when my mom visited for Christmas did we discover that we actually share the same runaway dad. It was an interesting Christmas morning to say the least. 

“Are we ready to commence the second annual Great Christmas Competition?” My mom asks, putting on her low rumbly announcer voice. Ellie squeals, already set up at my dining room table. 

We pull out hot glue guns and our bags of candy and graham crackers and start building our gingerbread houses. My mom finishes way before our half hour timer is up, so she takes a spoon to the pink icing tub, dying her mouth a brighter color. Then we move onto cookie decorations, where she’s more interested in eating the cookies than decorating them. Through both heats, Ellie is so focused she doesn’t say a word. And she wins, of course. We wouldn’t just let her win, but she’s a creative genius. Even if she wasn’t a kid she would still be winning. 

Then we move on to reindeer races (I win), Christmas karaoke (my mom wins), and snowman making (Ellie wins). Since she wins the tournament, she gets to pick the movie to cap off the night, and we settle on the couch to watch Elf. 

Around halfway through I pull my phone out to text Paige. 

What's your Venmo and how much for the tickets?

Her response is immediate. For some reason, that makes me smile.

don't even think about venmoing me bc i'll just send it right back

Don't make me go ask Cam

don't do that either I'm deadass

20 bucks says I can guess it right on the first try and if not you'll tell me

I don't think you understand how bets work

They way I see it it's a win win

uh yeah for u

What, you don't want me to win?

not if it means I lose, no

Don't make me write you a check

I'm not gonna honor that with a response

I put my phone away and try to refocus on the movie when Ellie leans on my shoulder, her soft brown hair falling into my lap. 

Christmas morning comes and goes. I spend it with my mom and Ellie, and Jules brings over Ellie’s presents from Santa when she gets back from her shift. She sleeps on the couch as my mom and I make breakfast, or she sleeps as much as she can before Ellie comes running in. 

Later in the day my mom finds a church service for us to attend, because apparently my five o’clock Episcopalian service wasn’t good enough for her. The church is small and charming, the service taking place in a gym of an old school that was turned into a community center. The congregation is very friendly and I spend half the time making faces at the baby in front of me. 

The next Sunday we return to the church for a regular service, and to my surprise, I spot a certain blonde in a middle row. I walk my mom towards her, and she turns and seems to have a similar look of surprise on her face. 

“These seats taken?” I ask. She shakes her head with a smile. 

“All yours.”

I introduce her to my mom and she shakes her hand, very formal. TikTok isn’t wrong, she definitely has good rizz. During the community time she’s asking us about our holiday and how my mom is liking LA right now. She brings up the Lakers game. 

“I’m assuming you know Cam since she roomed with Ava in college, right?” Paige asks. 

“Oh, do I know Cam. I adore Cam. She used to come on vacation with us sometimes.” 

“We always joke that Cam likes my mom more than she likes me.” I say and pretend to pout. Then the community time ends, and we move on to the sermon. 

After the service ends we help stack up the chairs and push them to the side. 

“This is only our second time here, do you know any good brunch spots around?” I ask Paige as we descend the stairs to the exit. She tells us about a bookstore cafe around the corner, and my mom insists she join us. 

Fifteen minutes later, we settle into our seats and the navy blue bookshelves behind Paige perfectly compliment her slick back blonde bun. I’m sitting across from her at the table, and I let my eyes travel down from the bun to the slope of her purple cardigan over her shoulders, crisp white t-shirt underneath a great contrast. On our walk here I had to really focus on keeping my eyes away from the way her legs looked so juicy in her simple black pants. 

I finally rip my gaze away from her to look at the menu. Then I look to my mom, who was watching Paige through her menu. I resist the urge to look back at Paige, because I can already feel her eyes on me. It makes heat rise throughout my body, and I untuck the hair from behind my ears to shield my neck, which I can feel is probably blushing.

Thankfully the waiter arrives, and we order our food. Then we resume being normal human beings, and partake in normal conversation. How Paige is doing on the team. The press tour I’m about to start and the next round of auditions. What my mom does as an elementary school art teacher. We discuss Cam a good bit, and her impending nuptials. 

When our food arrives we play roulette, where we rotate the dishes through the three of us at random. Thankfully, Paige is understanding of my mom’s shenanigans. I excuse myself halfway through under the guise of using the restroom, but really I find the waitress and cover the bill. My Asian dad may not have stuck around or been a decent guy, but there’s some things that may just be nature. 

I come back to my mom and Paige chatting, and apparently she was telling Paige an embarrassing story of me from childhood. Just great. 

“Yeah she like didn’t talk until she was like four. But she would point. Her two words were ‘puppy’ and ‘soccer.’” My mom tells her and Paige smiles. 

“Aw that’s so cute, my younger brother Drew did that too,” Paige responded. I pulled out my chair to sit back down with a squeak. “My step-mom always claimed that it was because Drew had me to interpret for him so he didn’t need to talk since I was fluent in Drew.” 

It makes my mom laugh which makes me smile. Paige is good.

Our waitress comes back and my mom asks for the check, so she lets us know it has “already been taken care of.” 

My mom fake scowls at me, and Paige gives me a look I can’t quite decipher. 

Paige 

I open my phone to call Azzi, but for some reason my fingers hover over Ava’s contact instead. 

u didn't have to do that u know

Do what?

buy brunch

I think the words you're looking for are "Thank you, Ava"

Thank you, Ava

You're welcome, Paige

The way she texted my name had the same effect on me as her actually saying it. I can see the way her lips wrap around the P of my name in my head. I need to send something to change the mood.

ur mom is cool

Ok ew don't text me that

I don’t know what to say because “sorry” doesn’t sound quite right. I’m not sorry. I do think Ava’s mom is cool. And pretty. I know where Ava gets her beauty from. 

Turning the the other side of the couch I had flopped down on five minutes ago, I pick up Aziz’s call instead of trying to craft a lackluster response to Ava.

“Yo, what’s up?” I ask her. 

“Please tell me you don’t answer the phone like that with other people.” She sighs in response. 

“This is just for you, Az.” I chirp in response. “But seriously, what’s been going on with you? How’s Dallas?” 

“Eh, Dallas is Dallas, like always.” She says. “Practice is practice. Life is life.” 

“Well you don’t sound very enthused,” I noted. “What’s going on.” 

She sighed, even longer this time. “Just worrying about my offseason training, nothing new. I want to hear about what’s been going on with you. How was Cam’s party?” 

I almost don’t want to answer about the party, because I know that means bringing up Ava, and for some reason there’s a part of me that wants to keep her to myself. Like she’s too special to share. 

But that’s ridiculous. I shake my head and answer her truthfully. 

“Wait what!?” Her gentle voice somehow screeches through my phone speaker, and I place her on my living room table so I can stretch my arms over my head. 

I let myself laugh along with her. I know. It’s almost ridiculous. I’m crushing on a movie star. Who’s also smart and pretty and athletic. Who I have no idea if she likes me back. 

Azzi sighs yet again. I make a mental note to wear her down until she tells me what’s really going on. Because I know something is. She’s my best friend. 

“I have to go,” She says. She sounds miserable. “I miss you. I love you!”

“Love and miss you too, Az.” I say and she hangs up. I turn onto my back and close my eyes, letting the silence of my apartment envelope me. 

I knock on what I hope is the front door of Ava’s townhouse. It’s white and modern. She has a nice yard and a single potted plant by her door. There’s a pumpkin on the step and I’m scared of how long it’s been there. 

The knock earns me no response, so I ring the doorbell. I hear it reverberate through her house, and then an indecipherable shout and heavy thudding footsteps of someone running down stairs before the door is thrust open so hard I’m surprised it doesn’t hit the wall next to it. 

A very frazzled Ava greets me, followed by the most adorable black Scottish terrier I’ve ever laid my eyes on scurrying behind her. I could never have imagined something could upstage Ava, but her dog definitely does.

I crouch down to pet the dog and it props its two front legs up on my knee, licking my ear. I don’t mind, and Ava seems too distracted to tell them to get down. 

“Her name is Frankie,” She says, a fond smile flitting across her face. Her hair is half curled, and she appears to be wearing a full face of makeup with bare lips. “She really likes you, you know.” 

Everything about this moment makes me smile. The way Ava looks effortlessly beautiful in her half-ready state. It feels too intimate for me to witness. I’m filled with an overwhelming amount of pride that her dog likes me. 

“You look nice,” I offer, truthfully. It slips out. I didn’t mean to say anything too forward in my flirting or cross weird lines or make any moves or confusion. Yes, it’s hard when you compliment a (bitchy) straight girl when she knows you’re gay, but personally it has always been harder for me to compliment my also lesbian female friends. Weirdly, I’m not worried about how she’s interpreting it, but rather aim to stick the thought process in my mind to analyze later. How did I intend it? 

Luckily, she just scoffs. 

“Yeah, whatever, if you say so Paige. You look good.” 

It makes me smile against myself. 

“Thanks. But I mean it, you know?”

“I am obviously running behind,” She says, gesturing frantically with her hands. Another female voice calls for her from up the stairs, who I’m pretty sure is her mom. But now I’m concerned why the thought of it not being her mom is making me slightly jealous. Shit. I’m done for. 

A red leash with pink hearts and a purple collar is placed into my hands as I stand. 

“Do you mind walking Frankie quickly before we leave? I haven’t done it yet and I need to help my mom with something.” She makes a face when she says “something” that indicates she doesn’t really know what her mom called her for. “Usually just up and down the street is enough to get her to go, and there’s bags on the leash.” 

I snap the collar onto Frankie as she thanks me profusely before trotting back up the stairs. 

“Guess it’s just you and me, kid.” I say and lead her out the door. She lets out a huff of air. 

I walk her up and down the block, Frankie trotting perfectly next to me. Of course a perfect woman like Ava has a perfectly leash trained dog. I walk her to the end of the street and back, trying to let all of my fast-paced thoughts go. 

Seeing Ava like that felt like she was letting me in to a private part of her, for some weird reason. She doesn’t seem to me like the type of woman to pressure herself to always be put together, but I guess whenever I see her she is. She’s secure in those moments and she’s secure when I knock five minutes too early on her door. 

Frankie and I make it back to Ava’s small front yard, and she gracefully stops in the grass to go to the bathroom. I grab it with a bag, not even surprised anymore about how perfect the dog is. 

I open the door and wipe her paws and butt with a wipe from the pack decorated with paw prints on the shelf. Then I unclip the leash and hang it up, but stop, unsure of what to do next. Was it weird I let myself into her house? Probably not any weirder than walking her dog, right? 

Thankfully I don’t have to think on it too long because she bounds down the stairs with her mom, and we’re off. 

At the game we slide into our seats, Cam’s fiancé on the end and then her, Ava’s mom (since the two of them haven’t stopped talking since we picked up Cam), followed by Ava, and then me. 

There’s a good amount of time before the game starts and Ava’s mom is still completely immersed in conversation with Cam. Which means lucky me gets to talk to Ava. 

I turn to her, a plan forming in my mind. 

“So tell me more,” I try to prompt her, and she turns to me from where she was staring off at the court, seemingly tracking the players warming up. 

“Huh? What do you mean?” She says, her eyebrows creasing in confusion.

“Tell me more,” I say to her again. I struggle to hide a small smile fighting its way onto my face. 

“I wasn’t saying anything, Paige.” By the way she says my name she sounds slightly displeased and it worries me, before I look her in the eyes, trained on mine already, and see the mischief gleaming behind them. 

“Tell me more about yourself, Ava. So far I know you were Cam’s roommate, you went to Stanford, you played soccer. Midfield.” I echo the way she told me at the bar in Cam's yard that night. I see a smile creep onto her face, and my heart hopes it’s at the memory. “Your go to drink is a Shirley temple, you’re a Christian but once struggled with your faith, you’re gay,” I lean in towards her and whisper for the last one, before returning to normal. “You sleep like a rock, you’re gorgeous when you just wake up,” I pause, counting them all on my fingers. Maybe I’ll reach double digits at this rate. “You’re close with your mom, you like the Lakers-“ 

“So it seems like you know a lot about me already.” Ava cuts me off. Now it looks like she’s the one planning something. “What, specifically, would you like to know, Paige.” 

The perfect opening to hit her with a silly, small talk first date get to know you question. 

“Well, for starters, do you have any siblings?” I ask nonchalantly and shrug. 

Ava snorts out a laugh that she tries to cover with the back of her hand. 

“I have a sister. She actually lives next door to me. I only found out we were related a year after I moved in. She’s twelve.” Ava smiles so I smile back. Oh my, would I like to meet her sister. But oh my, would I like to kiss that smile more. 

I shake the thought out of my head. Ava keeps talking, almost lighting up as she describes Ellie, her sister, and discusses her hobbies and interests, and the adventures she’s gotten to take her on at length. I really hit the jackpot with this question. 

“I mean, technically she’s just my half sister, but-“ 

Now it’s my turn to cut her off. “It’s not different, I get it.” 

“I don’t have a full sibling so I wouldn’t know how to compare.” 

“With Drew my younger brother, he’s everything. We only share a dad, but we also share a soul, I just know.” 

This makes her smile. She gets it. More importantly, she knows that I get it.

The lights lower and a loud rumbling voice begins to announce the happenings as players begin to run out from the tunnel. It pulls us from our conversation and we clap. I realize that we were practically turned in our seats to face each other because I have to turn back. 

A few minutes in to the second quarter, I stand and declare it’s time for hot dogs. I turn to walk out of our row and Ava follows, claiming she’s getting up to “lend me a hand.” 

As we wait in line, only a few people in front of us, she speaks and I have to forcefully drag my eyes away from the place they had been resting, looking at her perfect hands clad in dainty gold rings, perched over her stomach as she uses her left hand to twist the one on her right ring finger around and around and around. 

“Ok my turn. But I’m not letting you off the hook with ‘do you have any siblings?’” She quotes me using a horrible frat boy impression. 

I look up at her through my eyelashes, a smirk on my mouth. I quirk my eyebrows. “Is that really what you think of me?” 

“Oh, you think I think about you?” she says smirking back. Flirting back! It brings the butterflies in my stomach into full torment mode. I will be remembering this moment for forever. 

I open my mouth to say something but she lets out a huff of air instead and squares her shoulders. We’re moving on. 

“Why basketball? I’m sure you played other sports as a kid, so, why basketball?” 

I take a second to contemplate, gathering my thoughts before answering so I can be as sincere as Ava deserves. 

“It’s the only place I felt at home. The flow state. It still takes hard work but it’s the only sport that just felt right. That just clicked.” I answer. Even though she looks like she’s listening, Ava doesn’t say anything in response. I take a deep breath and keep going. She knows I have more I could say, I guess. “It’s also what I clung to when my parents divorced. They told me during soccer season, so soccer was ruined for me. Then I had basketball to look forward to, basketball to focus on, basketball that wasn’t going to change. Basketball that I couldn’t ruin.” 

The moment is heavy. Ava’s gorgeous brown eyes look into mine and I’m almost surprised when I see understanding instead of pity. 

“Paige,” She says, placing a gentle, warm hand on my elbow. That’s her only response. Just one word. One simple touch. But she’s with it she's saying everything. She gets me and basketball just as much as I got her and Ellie. 

We’re called up to the counter and order the hot dogs. She tacks on a few baskets of fries. When the screen tells us to pay she quite literally elbows me out of the way and uses her card as I’m reaching out for my own.

For a reason I wished I regret knowing, I don’t move farther back, and instead relish the brush of her hair against my shoulder, the scent of orange and vanilla lingering in the air now, and the sweep of her hip against the very top of my thighs as she grabs half of the food and turns back to head towards our seats. 

The game is interesting, and Ava and I ease into a steady rhythm of trading quips or comments back and forth. I’m funny and she’s funny. A match made in heaven, I think to myself. Maybe I should stop thinking to myself. 

At some point Ava’s mom stands up and announces she’s going to the bathroom. Her brown hair is wavy in the same way Ava’s is, but shorter. It looks just as soft and I catch myself wondering if it smells like Ava’s vanilla and orange. 

“Which way is it, Paige?” Her mom asks me. I’m a little stunned why she would be asking me that until I realize it’s so that I come with her. Obviously she can find a bathroom by herself.

“Oh um let me show you,” I say and stand up from my seat, following Sarah out of the row. 

When we’re out in the hallway I keep up the gesture of showing her where the bathroom is and point simply across the hall. I mumble a few nondescript words about it being “over there” since I’m really just waiting for her to say something.

“Thanks, Paige.” She says but doesn’t turn away. “So you and Ava.”

Her words hang in the air, turning the space around us thick. What about me and Ava? We’re friends? Can she see I’m flirting with her daughter? Does she want me to stop flirting with her daughter?

Suddenly she cracks a grin and lets loose a laugh so compelling that I just have to laugh with her. She reaches for my elbow just like her daughter did half an hour ago. 

“I’m not grilling you at all, sweetie, sorry I just thought it would be fun to see you sweat.” She smiles to herself, her plan having obviously worked. “Anyways I was just going to tell you that she likes you. She’s probably just beginning to realize it now, but I know she does. I think you like her too since you haven’t stopped flirting with her ever, even in my presence.”

This makes me blush. Which, in turn, makes Sarah smile more. 

“Just a word of warning, honey. You have to be really patient with her. If you act too soon you will scare her off, and I would really hate to see that. You two will be so good together. I suggest you wait for her to make the first move when she’s ready.” 

I nod, taking this all in. Her mom thinks? Knows? That she likes me. And that I like her. And she wants us to get together. But from the sounds of it I need to wait for her to make the first move. Huh. 

“And I know I cannot just ask you to wait or something. I’m trying not to ask anything of you, but rather tell you what I see in Ava. The flirting is good for her. Please don’t think I’m telling you to stop. I’m gonna work on her from my end, see what I can do.” 

I don’t know what to say but Ava’s mom seems to know even that too. 

“I’m almost sorry for dropping this on you. I’m gonna hit the bathroom, maybe consider a walk if you don’t want to return yet.” She says with a warm smile and I nod in response, turning to go for a short walk. 

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Tabs give me superpowers

Berliners: Otherland has added a second date (Jan 28) for my book-talk after the first one sold out - book now!

"Lifehacking" is in pretty bad odor these days, and with good reason: a once-useful catch-all for describing how to make things easier has become a pit of productivity porn, grifter hustling, and anodyne advice wreathed in superlatives and transformed into SEO-compliant listicles.

But I was there when lifehacking was born, and I'm here to tell you, it wasn't always thus. Lifehacking attained liftoff exactly 19 years and 348 days ago, on Feb 11, 2004, when Danny O'Brien presented "Life Hacks: Tech Secrets of Overprolific Alpha Geeks" at the 0'Reilly Emerging Technology Conference (aka ETCON). I was there, and I took notes:

https://craphound.com/lifehacksetcon04.txt

O'Brien's inspiration was his social circle, in which people he knew to be no smarter or better or motivated than anyone else in that group were somehow able to do much more than their peers, in some specific domain. O'Brien delved deeply into these peoples' lives and discovered that each of them had merely ("merely!") gotten very good at using one or two tools to automate things that would otherwise take up a lot of their time.

These "hacks" freed up their practitioners to focus on things that mattered more to them. They accomplished the goal set out in David Allen's Getting Things Done: to make a conscious choice about which things you are going to fail to do today, rather than defaulting to doing the things that are easy and trivial, at the expense of the things that matter, but are more complicated:

https://gettingthingsdone.com/what-is-gtd/

One trait all those lifehacks shared: everyone who created a little hack was faintly embarrassed by it, and assumed that others who learned about their tricks would find them trivial or foolish. O'Brien changed the world by showing that other people were, in fact, delighted and excited to learn about their peers' cool little tricks.

(Unfortunately, this eventually opened the floodgates of overheated posts about some miraculous hack that turned out to indeed be silly and trivial or even actively bad, but that wasn't O'Brien's fault!)

I'm one of those people whom others perceive as very "productive." There are some objective metrics on which this is true: I wrote nine books during lockdown, for example. Like the lifehackers O'Brien documented in 2004, I have lots of little hacks that aren't merely a way of getting more done – they're a way to make sure that I get the stuff that matters to me (taking care of my family and my health, and writing books) done.

A lot of these lifehacks boil down to making your life easier. There's a spot on our kitchen counter where I put e-waste. Whenever I go out to the car, I carry any e-waste out and put it in a bag in the trunk. Any time I'm near our city dump, I stop and throw the bag into their e-waste bin. This is now a habit, and habits are things you get for free: I spend zero time thinking about e-waste, which means I have more time to think about things that matter (and our e-waste still ends up in the right place).

There's other ways I use habits to make my life easier: after many years, I learned how to write every day:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/22/walking-the-plank/

For longer-form works like novels, I "leave myself a rough edge," finishing the day's work in the middle of a sentence. That way I get a few words for free the next day, meaning I never start the day's work wondering which words I'll type:

https://locusmag.com/2014/01/cory-doctorow-cheap-writing-tricks/

One of the most powerful habits I've cultivated is to have a group of daily tabs that I open in a new browser every morning. The meat of this tab group is websites I want to check in with every day, either because they don't have RSS feeds, or because I want to make sure I never miss an update.

This tab-group habit started before RSS was widespread, when most of the websites I wanted to check in on every day didn't have feeds yet, and for many years, this group was just a set of daily reads. But over the years, I started throwing things in the tab-group that I needed to stay on top of.

My daily tabs are in a folder called "unfucked rota" (they were originally in a folder called "rota," which got corrupted and had to be reconstructed in a folder I called "fucked rota," until I finally took a couple hours off and got it in good running order, hence "unfucked rota"). As I type this, "unfucked rota" contains more than a hundred websites I visit every morning, but it also contains:

The edit-history pages for four Wikipedia entries I'm watching;

Chronological feeds of my books on Amazon and Audible, to catch counterfeits as they are posted;

The parent notification portal for my kid's school;

The mileage history for the airline I flew on yesterday (I'll delete this once the flight is posted);

The credit card history for a card I reported a fraudulent charge on (I'll delete this once the refund is posted);

The sell-pages for three products that are out of stock (I'll delete these once the products are in stock and ordered);

A bookmarked newest-first Ebay search for a shirt I like that has been discontinued by the manufacturer;

The new-survey-completed pages for my last two Kickstarters;

The courier tracking page for an item being shipped sea-freight to me from Asia.

The tail end of this unfucked rota changes all the time, but as you can tell, it's got a lot of stuff that would be time-consuming to build a whole new system to track, but which has a web-page that can be easily added to a daily, habitual check-in and then removed when it's not relevant anymore.

Some of these things have email notifiers or RSS feeds, but those are too easy to lose in the noise. I generally delete email from ecommerce sites unread, since 99.99% of the messages they send me are unsolicited marketing nonsense, not the "notify me when this is back in stock" message I do want to see (same goes for my kid's school, which sends me fifty unimportant messages for every message that I must reply to).

Most of the internet is still on the web, which means it can be bookmarked, which means that it takes me one second to add it to the group of things I'm staying on top of, and one second to remove from that group. I get up in the morning, middle-click the "unfucked rota" item in my bookmarks pane, make a cup of coffee, and then sit down and race through those tabs, close-close-close.

It takes less than a second to scan a tab to see if it's changed (and if I close a tab too quickly, the ctrl-shift-T "unclose" shortcut is there in muscle-memory, another habit). The whole process takes between one and 15 minutes (depending on whether there's anything useful and new in one of those tabs).

Tabs, like lifehacks, are also in bad odor. Everyone stresses about how many tabs they have open. It's even inspired Rusty Foster's excellent newsletter, Today In Tabs:

https://www.todayintabs.com/

But this is a very different way to think about tabs. Rather than opening a window full of tabs that need your detailed, once-off attention later, this method is about using groups of tabs so that you can pay cursory, frequent attention to them.

In a world full of administrative burdens, where firms and institutions play the "sure, we'll do that, but you're going to have to track our progress" game to get out of living up to their obligations, this method is a powerful countermeasure:

https://memex.craphound.com/2015/02/02/david-graebers-the-utopia-of-rules-on-technology-stupidity-and-the-secret-joys-of-bureaucracy/

My little tab habit is so incredibly useful, such a powerful way to seize back time and power from powerful actors who impose burdens on me, that I sometimes forget how, for other people, tabs are a symptom of a life that's spiraling out of control. For me, a couple hundred tabs are a symbol of a couple hundred tasks that I'm totally on top of, a symbol of control wrestled back from others who are hostile to my interests.

This isn't how tabs were "meant" to be used, of course. It's an example of the kind of "innovation" that comes from users repurposing things in ways their designers didn't necessarily anticipate or intend.

This is what Jonathan Zittrain meant by "generative" technology back in 2008, when he published his incredibly prescient The Future of the Internet: And How To Stop It:

https://memex.craphound.com/2008/07/22/zittrains-the-future-of-the-internet-how-to-save-the-internet-from-the-internet/

For Zittrain, "generativity" was the property of some technologies that let its users generate new, useful tools and solutions for themselves (this is very different from "generative AI!")

Zittrain described how "curated" computing systems, like mobile devices that relied on apps that couldn't be adapted by their users, were dead ends for generativity. 15 years later, the dismal world of apps has proven him right:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/24/everything-not-mandatory/#is-prohibited

To the extent that "lifehacking" is about doing more, rather than being more deliberate about what you accomplish, it can be harmful. I am not immune to the failure modes of lifehacking:

https://locusmag.com/2017/11/cory-doctorow-how-to-do-everything-lifehacking-considered-harmful/

But overall, using tabs as something I close, rather than something I open, is a source of comfort and calm for me. For one thing, ripping through a group of tabs every morning means that I don't have to worry about missing something if I go too fast. I'll get another chance tomorrow:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/27/probably/

Decades ago, Dori Smith dubbed her pioneering blog her "#Backup Brain":

https://web.archive.org/web/20020120231027/http://www.backupbrain.com/

At their best, our systems – be they physical, like a spot on the counter where the e-waste goes, or digital, like a tab-group – are "congitive prostheses." They allow us to move important things from the highly contested, busy and precious space between our ears and out there into the world:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/05/09/the-memex-method/

Like those lifehackers that O'Brien studied for his presentation in 2004, I confess to feeling a little silly about telling you all about this. For me, this habit of decades is so ingrained that it feels trivial and obvious. And yet, when I look at people in my life struggling to stay on top of a million nagging administrative tasks that could be easily watched through a morning's flick through a tab-group, I can't help but think that maybe some of you will find a useful idea or two in my unfucked rota.

I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/25/today-in-tabs/#unfucked-rota

[youcouldmakealife]

Ok so we will be having a COTT March (I love those guys) and then some April Fools in late April....can I dare hope that we will be seeing some Georgie and/or Robbie too in the near future? (Forever and Always in Tandem (FAIT) maybe?) I'm honestly dying to hear about the modernists Taylor!!

You're pretty dead on. With the biggest of caveats one must give, especially when they're me, here's what the rest of the year is looking like.

It's the Official Schedule as of very recently, since I had to re-jig the whole thing to cram in 16 physio sessions, and I want to be transparent with you guys because it is different from what I initially planned, particularly that I lowered my minimum writing goal to 200k, about an 10% decrease, with all other writing goals reflecting that, and changed some timelines as well.

So, here's what's happening in 2025:

Previously, in 2025:

Jan - Wrapping SAIT, Big Annual Planning that lasts One Month.

Feb - Was supposed to be a get ahead month, but I dealt with a lot of healthcare stuff in Jan and Feb, including some time consuming testing. Add in the whole 'my country's sovereignty is apparently now in question' (I cannot overstate, to those who aren't in Canada, that everything I have seen and heard in recent weeks has strongly indicated that the relationship America has had with Canada is now over. We did our mourning and lamenting over the last few months, mostly amongst ourselves -- though great fucking timing with that international tourney, NHL -- and now it's the clear-eyed stone-faced acceptance of reality, unhinged as it is. Glad to see Europe seems to be doing the same.)

Ahem, sorry, there's been some processing going on for me this year, but processing is hard given that we're living in the stupidest fucking dystopia (Red-White-and-Blueland. I can't. This motherfucker. I can't.) and any attempts to get ahead have just lead to treading water. Thus the big re-jig that follows below.

What's still yet to come, 2025:

Mar - That's now! More healthcare stuff this month (fuck long COVID, seriously), including physio, but also trying to ACTUALLY get ahead now that I've lowered some of my expectations for this year (aiming for around 40-ish rather than 50-ish AO3 updates in 2025 is massive, workload wise) and doing a lot of the groundwork for Kickstarter, ie: setting up the campaign, financial work, etc.

April - I hopefully graduate from physio plus the real run up to my April Fools, which will be in late April and carry through to late May. We've got ourselves a Taurus. (Two, actually!)

May - main Kickstarter month! That will be like 75% of my job, the other 25% making sure everything else comes out on time.

June-July: These are head down writing months. With little to no hockey (early June has the SCF, and if my team's in them this is all null and void but that is...exceedingly unlikely this year), my schedule's wide open and I'm going to be working to get ahead on, well -- everything.

This is also when I plan on beginning to post the third part of the Tandem (which does have a title, though I figure I'll give it a better announcement than in the middle of an impromptu calendar).

Aug - I'm taking a week off at the start to do absolutely nothing, and then I'm making sure I've sorted out all my bits and bobs before I fly to England for my cousin's wedding (to a Brit, thus the locale). I've never been, so I've turned it into a proper little sightseeing trip as well.

September - I'm still in England (there 2 weeks total), as I'm spending a week by the sea for an Official Writing Trip. There will be scribbling in notebooks in cafes and drizzly walks along the shore and it won't be the right ocean but I don't think Gabe and Stephen would mind me starting it there.

Then I come home and do more writing, but the kind that doesn't look as cool in a montage.

This is when the Kickstarter extras will begin to go out, along with the beginning of the progress updates.

Oct-Dec: My season status quo, with the usual half work in December, while I make time for family and attempt to wrap as many in progress things as possible.

Basically, on AO3:

Jan - SAIT

Feb, Mar, Apr, May - COTT

June-Dec: COTT and ( )AIT, generally alternating 1-2-1-2, with the usual exceptions.

Kickstarter specific:

Now to Late April - prep, setup, promo, etc

Apr-May: Kickstarter Campaign

June/July: get started on admin, logistics, and begin work on the extras

Aug: Extras begin

Sep: Heads down work on the Kickstarter project (currently titled AF), continuing through remainder of 2025 and into 2026

[specialgradefckr]

honestly speaking, to me, it does not matter at all whether u post one biiiig chunk of text or you break the fic up (for byhtd 3) hehehehehebsjsjsjhds

But more practically, I think if you're feeling inclined to break it up and you feel that would give it better structure, or you'll have scenes flow the way you want them to, etc. then that is a VERY excellent idea. I have faith in you, Miss Author!

also, we have dealt with cliffhangers in both part 2 and 1. So really it's like... Tradition 😂😂😂 you MUSTN'T NOT END ON A CLIFFHANGER, SPEG DEAREST.

Atp I feel like I'll burst when I read byhtd3. Nsksjsjxjks the 🐜 icipation is killing me.

Satoru... oh my sweet masochist roommate who has my name on his chest :))) I'll see what you've been up to, soon.

I remember you sharing a screenshot... Of byhtd 3 potential wip. It said something something satoru sub drop :))))) I KNOWWW WE'RE GETTING SERVED (or maybe not maybe I'm wrong. Buuut. Heh. That's the part that I'm also very looking forward to.

And ofc I look forward to suguru and his hemorrhoid-ridden-emotional-anal-sphincter coz he's probably tired of being so emotionally constipated now. Or maybe not? I'd like some zesty jealousy between stsg now.

AND I ACHE FOR JUSTICE FOR READER (I know you're cooking something really nice, no pressure). I REMEMBER HOW HE POKED HER AND SAID ALL THAT ABOUT HOW SATORU IS BETTER AND LOVES HIM AND NOT READER 😤😤😤

I'm still bitter about that. Maaaan that one almost made ME cry. Suguru you hypocrite twofaced cowardly bitch. Just get down on one knee already ilysm ❤️❣️❤️❣️😤😤😤

🦕

got this a while ago!! very happy to see so many people still hyped for byhtd.

it's actually crazy but like. i think i posted part 2 in jan/feb? so it's been like half a year now? truly crazy that it took as long as it did but i AM really happy with the idea i have for it now.

this next part is still taking some more time; i'm happy that my works are all getting on the longer side again, but it does mean everything takes longer, too... it's so sad cause like. i AM working on so many wips T_T i've put so many hours into byhtd, it's got so much more in the draft now, but you guys can't see it sjdhkfglshdg

so two parts is probably where i'm coming from, because i would really like to have something to show for my work relatively soon. and i also think i could come up with a pretty fun stinger/cliffhanger from the plot i have going on ksdhjfglhsdg.

in any case i'm happier like this bc now your anticipation will be rewarded with a fic that's longer than both of the parts before it (even though it's going to be split). there is a LOT going on in this fic, and the POVs have started to really diverge with Satoru experiencing what he did, and Suguru experiencing... well, what he did.

don't you worry,,, i won't spoil it but you will absolutely see the effects the last part had on each character. what this means for the relationship, what reader gets, what happens with suguru... you'll just have to find out ;)

[jamiesfootball]

Do you have any ships in the ted lasso fandom that you enjoy? I just ask because most of your posts seem more interested in the gen side of the fandom. Are you more of a 'read about ships but write about gen' author? No hate, obviously, I'm just curious because that's pretty rare in my fandom experience! ✨

Thank you for asking! Sorry if this is a bit long. Answer to the last question is first and the ship list starts somewhere around the middle and includes some rarepairs that I think more people should give a chance

I’m pretty good and open to most ships on some level. I’m a ‘will try most things once’ sort of reader. However what I’ve learned about myself is that what interests me more is character dynamics and characters struggling with themselves rather than a lot of the popular romantic and/or sexual tension/buildup/catharsis tropes (slow burns, enemies to lovers, etc) I get why people read them, I’ve read them myself and enjoyed them, but I’ve come to accept that it’s just not what I personally want to write about

A few years ago I co-wrote a fic with a friend (the man from uncle fic), and my friend IS good at the slow burn, yearning, pining thing - in fact, hearing her talk about how much she enjoyed it and why was a big factor in my figuring out what I didn’t like about it and why I was struggling to write it. This is good! I think more people should consider branching out beyond the usual fandom offerings, but also that they should think about what’s not satisfying them and how find it- or how to make it themself, which is what I’ve been doing. Exploring the stuff I like to try to find what makes me happiest to write about

Which seems to be mostly jokes and psychological trauma with a side helping of people spending quality time with each other and supporting each other. And it turns out that a lot of the things I enjoy writing and reading (comedy, action scenes, ensemble dialogue) are the things that other people aren’t as comfortable writing, so I get to fill a niche as well!

Now. To go back to your question

I’ve always said I’d be interested in exploring what’s up with TedTrent. I think there’s a lot of intriguing potential in their interpersonal interactions and their overall dynamic as two middle aged divorced men. I’ve also commented before on the interesting parallel with Ted and Michelle and the way that Trent and Dr. Jacob both had very professional responsibilities to each of them, but whereas Trent gave up his career for the sake of doing right by someone he respected, Dr Jacob proceeded to date his client

I’ve also started a borderline crack fic that’s just Ted, going through a mild sexuality crisis, who keeps coming up with more and more euphemistic ways of saying he’s got the hots for Trent because he can’t quite bring himself to say it like a normal person ("He makes me want to ask my grandma for her blueberry casserole recipe" <- guy who has it bad)

Im also of course a big fan of Jamie, so I’ve read and dabbled in writing RKJ, RoyJamie, SamJamie, and DaniJamie, and Sam/Dani/Jamie. My take on Sam/Dani is that it’s a pairing that seems like it should work but i haven’t figured out what that looks like yet. Dani has a very hyper restlessness to him, and Sam a very calm one, so I think they would need to take breaks from each other

I’ve had half a mind for JanJamie as well, but I then I made up my own elaborate headcanon for my future fic so now I prefer them more as future coaching work husbands where Jan is very practical and steady and Jamie is the one with the creativity who inspires people and together they fight about football strategy until it’s time to go to their respective homes and then they do it all over again the next day. Which is the sort of wildly specific headcanon you can’t possibly expect someone else to have

I also made a post a million years ago about Jamie, Keeley, and Rebecca going to pride together and being confused for being an impeccably gorgeous queer threesome, and frankly I’m still here for that, although I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Rebecca/Keeley/Jamie fic in the wild. Honestly though, going back to what I said before: what I really want is the dynamic. I just want them to hang out together. Maybe I should send them on a spa day together — I already gave them a smoke break together, maybe after that they agreed on a spa day

Also BarbaraBeard sounds fun, for two characters who I don’t think ever met on screen. I feel like they would enjoy watching hockey together — and maybe Beard would forget about Jane if he found a woman who seems willing and able to deadlift him over her head

Whoever made that post years ago about how it looked like Colin and Moe were texting each other - you made a compelling point. Add to that the knitted scarf and Colin thinking Moe is the fittest one on the team, and ColinMoe sounds fucking adorable. They’d be so weird and confusing together and they’re both very passionate about very specific causes. I see it. I see the vision

I can’t believe I’ve never seen a word about DaniThierry. Come on. I’ve somehow had this in my pocket since season one and then season three gave us Dani smiling through being an absolute menace to him and Thierry being unbearably cringe but in such an earnest way (his “I like short walks on the beach” Bantr video fucking killed me I died)

And to cap off the list: I do like tedbecca, but it’s specifically the queerplatonic soulmate tedbecca in my head, where they light up the room for each other just by being nearby

[catboybiologist]

Transition journal and documentation: Jan and Feb of 2024

Measurements for January are up, and February will be soon to follow! Tagging @whalesharkcat and @trans4hire here. If you want to be tagged when I post these, let me know! The advice for injections is in the journal below.

Some quick notes to clarify things:

I'm consolidating qualitative observations into my journal. Oftentimes these haven't been easy to cleanly classify into different categories of observation, so I'm not really gonna bother.

As I'm sure you've realized, the timing of these observations isn't consistent. I have a private document with exact date stamps for everything, and these are mostly right at the end of the month. But my levels checks don't match up to this cleanly, so I group them with the closest set of other measurements. Sometimes I don't have one that cleanly fits.

I can't trust myself to measure height anymore, to be blunt. I want to ask the doctor every time but chicken out about it easily.

But anyways.

And now, as a journal, a brief summary of my thoughts on the past two months:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*deep breathing*

fuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkkkk

Okay. So. I'm not gonna list off everything that's happened since the year started. So many independent things started happening, one after the other, that I had to start formatting it as a bulleted list to tell people I know irl what's been going on. Each one has been a crisis on its own- massive emotional events, health problems, health problems in people close to me, transphobic drama with former "friends", academic&research problems, and a resulting mental health spiral. And all of this leading up to my qualifying exams at the end of February, for which I barely scraped by and passed.

But. With all of this. There's silver linings.

The biggest one is that the start of this year has been a stress test of my overall emotional state since starting HRT. I'm not gonna lie- if all of this had happened a year ago, I don't think I would be here now. I either would have completely snapped and done something I regret, or... yeah. But as it stands? I cried. A lot. I isolated a bit. I had mood swings and anxiety and anger and excitement and relief and highs and lows beyond my wildest dreams. It was intense. It was not pretty. But it was cathartic, and healthy. Before this, I would've processed all of this as a generic, stressful, anxiety-ridden malaise, that would've weighed down on me until a breaking point. As it stands, however, I made it. Not in a neat way, not even really in an emotionally stable way, but I made it. And there is no fucking way that would be true pre-HRT. I think I can genuinely say at this point that estrogen has been life saving for me.

In the middle of all this, I switched to injections, right at the start of February. A mistake? Maybe, but I'm too fed up with delaying my progress because "the time isn't right", so I stubbornly refused to delay that change any further. It's a goal I worked out with my provider ahead of time and I stuck to it. So how's that been?

It's been an incredible and WILD experience. I'm on estradiol valerate. For those that don't know, estradiol is conjugated with another compound, which is then cleaved over time in your body to release it. For injections, that results in a peak irculating levels about 1-3 days afer injections. Some people feel it more than others- and holy shit, do I feel it. This has given rise to "the Sundays", because on Sundays, I'm going fucking nuts. My senses are heightened, and I start craving and reacting to physical touch in intense ways. It's not always sexual- while arousal comes easier to me the closer I am to peak, mostly I just become a cuddleslut. It is WILD. I'm also more emotional and cry more easily. Some cis female friends I have confirmed that it mirrors the feelings they get at a certain point in their monthly cycle, so essentially the fluctuating levels are giving me the sensory and emotional effects of a period every week.

The flip side of this is that I feel like shit on Thursdays, like I missed a sublingual dose when I was on that. After the first two weeks, I started taking 2mg sublingual on Wednesday night and Thursday mornings to avoid this, which helped a lot. My provider specifically said this was a good idea, so if you're dealing with that yourself, consider trying it out. I might move to a 5-day injection interval instead, but we'll see.

I've only had one problem with injections so far, which I'm dealing with right now- on my fifth self injection ever, I had unsteady hands and hesitation before stabbing myself, causing a not-great needle stick. Currently, I have a nasty looking injection bruise. Not painful, and healing pretty well, but not fantastic to look at. Self injecting has been intimidating and scary, moreso than I thought it would be. But the actual physical pain is much, MUCH less than I thought it would be, its just that the lizard brain refuses to stab yourself.

If you're thinking of switching to injections, here's a bit of my advice:

keep as many oral/sublingual pills on hand as you can anyways. These will be helpful if you feel your injections aren't carrying you emotionally for the entire interval, or if you don't have an environment where you can inject regularly

If you have a provider, they should provide a nurse tutorial and consultation for you to inject properly. If they don't, try to insist on one. They'll give better advice than I can.

think less, do more. Ideally, the actual moment of the stab should be painless. Be quick and steady about it. The fluid entering feels like pressure and slight burning, but nothing more than that.

vary your injection sites. A doctor or nurse should explain this to you, but this reduces risk of doing what I did and bruising yourself.

be extremely sterile about things. All of the wiping down and sterile technique you'll hear? Don't fuck around with it. Infection is no joke, and absolutely can happen.

Purchase spare needles and syringes from a pharmacist or online. Several reasons for this- one, if you make a mistake and a needle is no longer sterile, you don't want to hesitate about throwing it away. And two... well, let's make a second point about this.

If you want to stock up on estradiol for the future (if you're worried about future access to HRT), this can be easier with injections- but you have to be careful, and you'll need extra needles (for the love of fuck, do not reuse needles). Vials will always have excess medication, because it allows standard volumes to fill and distribute, and it also ensures that needle draws will always be able to be fully submerged. Do NOT try to run your vial out. You WILL run into sterility and contamination issues. That said, vial expiration dates are typically measured from time of first puncture. This will vary, but for me, I was told that the vials are good for 4 weeks after the first puncture. This is overcautious, but not egregiously so. My recommendation would be to use each vial for 1-2 extra punctures, and open the next vial a bit later. Still get prescription refills as frequently as you can. That way, you can stock up on unpucntured vials in case anything happens to your supply. THIS SAID- if you notice ANYTHING wrong with the vial- if the seal isn't containing the fluid properly, if bits of the seal are falling into the medication, if you can see a noticable hole in the seal, DO NOT USE THAT VIAL. Look me in the fucking eye. Do. Fucking. NOT. get sepsis. Do not fuck around with this. The flexibility to be cautious about your vials is a great reason to stock up on a bit extra in the first place.

To anyone in the US, if you're comfortable with doing this to stock up, I would highly, HIGHLY recommend starting this now. Slowly start using your vials for 1-2 punctures extra, stock up unbroken vials. Just in case something bad happens after the elections.

Typically, your medication will come with two sizes of needles- a draw needle (puncture the seal and draw medication into the syringe) and an injection needle. You might want to consider going *slightly* smaller on one or both of those needles. Estradiol is dissolved in a viscous oil as medication, and can be difficult to draw and dispense as a result. But, if you're patient, a smaller gauge might help. For the draw needle, it can help do less damage to the seal and preserve it a bit longer. For the injection needle, if you have a bit more sensitive skin, it might be comforting. Don't deviate too much, though, ESPECIALLY without a medical professional involved.

Remember that I'm not a medical professional, please consult one whenever possible.

I'm still on spiro for now, and I'm continuing it until my next levels check comes back clean. I don't want to erase months of progress getting my levels up by dropping it too early.

Measurement-wise, there hasn't been much change. But I'm starting to realize that the measurements aren't really telling the full story. My breasts look so much larger and, for lack of a better word, breast-like than they did even a couple months ago, but that hasn't been coming through in the measurements very well. I think what's happening is that my fat around my sides is shrinking at the same time my breasts are growing. This is reflected a bit in terms of underbust and waist measurements, but it still seems more dramatic than those are letting on.

Face wise, I think I'm really seeing some changes now. It's hard to put into words, but I'm starting to look more and more androgynous or femme by default, especially if I shave. I'm estatic, honestly, and I hope the trend continues. My chin and nose continue to be problems, but as the structure of the face around them changes, that's becoming less and less true.

I've been getting laser, but so far it's done pretty much nothing. There's lag time, and some of my health issues meant that I had to delay a session and get both sessions at a much lower power than I would've like. I was really hoping to have visible hair removal by June or so, but it looks like that's not happening. That kinda stings, and is a huge blow to my ability to pass by the one-year mark, which has been my target.

I think my boymoding has been holding, for the most part, although its been harder. Even with my sports bras, small bumps are visible under a t shirt, and the face changes won't be unnoticable forever. I've def been more loudly bisexual, and I think most people just write it off as me being fruity. Cis people can also be pretty oblivious, especially when changes are gradual. That being said, I've been coming out slowly to people, giving my usual speech of "I'm still presenting as a man for now, but just so you know this is what's going on", which removes a lot of the pressure and anxiety from boymoding. Still, I haven't told everyone (notably, labmates and family), and my timeline of social transition between June and August seems to be holding steady.

So uh, yeah. If you're curious about anything specifically, I'm an open book, although I may move it to DMs if it gets too personal. Hope that my progress updates are helpful to at least someone!

[misfitwashere]

Here's how Trump's vengeance machine works 

He's the mob boss who keeps his hands clean while others do his dirty work. 

ROBERT REICH

JAN 24

Friends,

Sorry to intrude on you again today, but now that we have come to the end of the first week of Trump II, there’s much to say about the new regime. 

For one thing, Trump’s vengeance machine is even more dangerous than it was before.

The Biden administration had given security protection to Trump’s former secretary of state, Mike Pompeo, his former top aide, Brian Hook, and Trump’s former national security advisor, John Bolton. That was because of credible intelligence showing all three in danger of being killed by agents of Iran. During the first Trump administration, they had authorized the drone strike that killed the powerful Iranian general Oassim Suleimani in early 2020, and Iran is out to get them. 

The outgoing Biden administration privately told the incoming Trump administration that the threat against the three continued. “As recently as the end of last week, two separate government representatives, two separate government agencies called,” Bolton told The New York Times. “They said our current assessment is that the threat level remains the same.”

But on Tuesday, with no explanation, Tump revoked their security protection. They are now at the mercy of Iranian agents in America. 

What had they done to deserve this treatment by Trump? They had committed the sin (in Trump’s mind) of being more loyal to America than to him.

Pompeo had warned Republicans at the Conservative Political Action Conference in 2023 not to look to "celebrity leaders" with "fragile egos. Hook was part of the old Republican foreign-policy establishment (Trump fired Hook on Monday). Bolton had become an outspoken critic Trump. 

If you think Trump’s nominee for FBI director, Kash Patel, will protect them from violence, think again. All three are on Patel’s enemies list, which is basically Trump’s enemies list. (I’ll have more to say about Patel next week when he’s up for senate hearings.)

This is how the Trump vengeance machine works. Trump is the mob boss who keeps his hands clean while others do his dirty work. 

Who else is likely to do Trump’s dirty work? 

Trump has pardoned all the men who attacked the U.S. Capitol on his behalf on January 6, 2021. Trump says they were not violent and did not have weapons — but the world saw their violence; they were also caught on video. Nearly 175 used dangerous or deadly weapons, according to prosecutors. 

They also threw Nazi salutes, posted they intended to start a civil war, vowed “there will be blood,” and called for the lynching of Democratic lawmakers. 

They attacked police with flag poles, bear spray, and a metal whip. They choked officers with their bare hands. They were convicted for, among other things, “hurling officers down a flight of stairs and plotting to kill FBI agents investigating the attacks.” 

A video shows them attacking Officer Michael Fanone, who suffered a heart attack and traumatic brain injury that day. Later he and his family received death threats after he testified in Congress on the incident. They beat Police Officer Daniel Hodges and crushed him in a door, his mouth filled with blood while he cried out for help. 

Now, courtesy of Trump, all these thugs are back on the street. Does anyone really think they will live out the rest of their lives peacefully?

Some of the police officers, including those who testified in January 6 cases, have said they fear for their safety now that the insurrectionists have been released.

“I JUST GOT THE NEWS FROM MY LAWYER… I GOT A PARDON BABY! THANK YOU PRESIDENT TRUMP!!!” Jacob Chansley, dubbed the QAnon shaman as a reflection of his horned-animal headdress and body paint that day, posted on X. “NOW I AM GONNA BY SOME MOTHA FU*KIN GUNS!!! I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!! GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!” 

Jackson Reffitt, who reported his father Guy’s participation in the January 6 riot and was a key witness against him, told reporters he fears for his life now that his father is free.

When Stewart Rhodes, leader of the Oath Keepers, was sentenced to 18 years in prison for his role in the riot, the judge said: “You are smart, you are charismatic and compelling and frankly that’s what makes you dangerous. The moment you are released, whenever that may be, you will be ready to take up arms against your government.” And, presumably, arms against Trump’s enemies. 

How many nut-jobs does it take to physically attack someone whom Trump has deemed an enemy? Just ask Paul Pelosi. 

Trump doesn’t deliver violence himself. He just says awful things about a person who has crossed him, like Nancy Pelosi, knowing this will be enough to trigger threats or actual violence by one of his followers. 

Ask the judges and prosecutors who have tried to hold him responsible. 

It doesn’t matter if the awful things Trump says about them are outright lies. In 2018, Trump tweeted a video of Rep. Ilhan Omar that falsely claimed she was dancing on the anniversary of 9/11. She received death threats.

Trump directs his mob with winks and nods. “You had some very fine people on both sides,” he says, reassuring violent bigots where his sympathies lie. 

“Stand back and stand by,” he says, teeing up the thugs, and then: "Big protest in D.C. on January 6th Be there, will be wild!" 

His henchman Elon Musk gives a Nazi salute and then denies that’s what he meant, but the neo-Nazis get the message. 

Trump’s vengeance machine isn’t only about retribution. It’s also intended to intimidate Trump critics — force them to think twice before sounding any alarms, and chill public knowledge or debate about what Trump is doing. 

Be warned. Be safe. And to the extent you can, protect people Trump slams.