#i have to read work outside of my field due to the nature of my topic

[eclecticsophism]

I AM SO SICK OF READING BAD RESEARCH

[dnp-pet-rectangle]

WAD reflection from the perspective of a theatre director

Inspired by @/calvinahobbes who did an amazing job breaking down the show’s metaphors & using her English degree in this post, I wanted to share my perspective on it (even a month later) & get use out of my theatre degree lol. Also, warning, this will be very much a long, long essay with run-ons. I have ADHD & I love when my frequent hyperfixations intersect 🤪 There are major spoilers.

My Background:

I am a semi-professional theatre director, but more broadly, a theatremaker. I have a theatre degree from New York University’s Tisch School on the Arts (NYU Tisch), where I did a conservatory program with one of their studios which focused basically on those who wanted to do a little bit of everything and create new works & was the only studio training directors & playwrights. I originally went into the program as a performer. I did not mean to end up concentrating on being mainly a producer & a director, but that’s a whole other story. I also through that program had to take theatre/performance studies courses, which I loved for the most part & is an interesting interdisciplinary field. But I will try to define terms just in case since anybody reading this may not know any or all the specific terminology I might use. In short, I have a fancy degree that apparently should cost $300k 🤡 & I’m gonna actually use it with doing this lol

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Setting the Tone:

While Dan might call this a comedy special or comedy show, and thereby comparing it to other comedians, I actually think he is doing himself and We’re All Doomed (WAD) a disservice. I saw folks compare him a lot to Bo Burnham in the chat (who was actually was accepted and almost went to NYU Tisch for a different studio that focused on solely experimental work), which makes sense considering the theatrical nature of both of them. However, Dan actually goes further into the realm of theatre because of how he utilizes his crowd work (I’ll go into that later). I recognize traditional comedy specials/standup as having jokes or stories, when doing you know like late night talk show interviews, that can be made outside of the context of the show & slip into a conversation. Or with Burnham’s Inside Out, the songs & other parts can be done or understood mainly out of context, as seen through Bo uploading them to his YouTube channel. Comedy specials have the sections of their comedy stand-up thread together, but what Dan has done is weave his sections together. The length along with the intermission/interval being a part of WAD, adds to my point that he is not treating this as different material he tested out at different comedy clubs, but as something cohesive storytelling pieces. I think in terms of testing, Phil was the main sufferer audience member of the initial materials being created.

Anyway, you cannot as easily remove it from the context at certain points, because the transitions & the order of these different sections are treated as equally important, rather than a means to move on to the next section, with some possible space for improv.

Basically, I’m bi. Sorry, my brain started thinking about BIG when I started writing “basically” at the start of that sentence. Actually, what I am trying to say is that I would classify We’re All Doomed as a one-man performance piece/show, so I will be treating it as such in my review/reflection/breakdown. The comedy of it is important and there, but I don’t think it captures what WAD entirely is.

Also, unfortunately due to where I was at mentally at the time & the location it was being performed at, I never saw this live. To be honest, how it got framed marketing-wise did not help me feel connected with the actual purpose of the show, with hope being a key element. So while this was filmed, I am as much as possible trying to remove the cinematography as an element of my analysis. However, some things might be clearer on film, as with theatrical directing, you cannot add a zoom or crop & instead are trying to ensure moments are clear to an audience by what they see and hear through drawing their attention to it. With theatre being mainly about the live output by performers and intake by the audience, at the end of the day, what my job as a director is is to direct not only how the performers share the story, but also direct the audience on what is important to catch for understanding.

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Breakdown of Thoughts

Originally, I wanted to rewatch the show again, and started to, but considering I ended up writing about a whole page worth of things for each minute of the show & I was sleepy by the time I was like 5-10 minutes in, I decided to be nice to myself & stay up all night in my comfortable bed instead of staying up all night at my desk trying to take in-depth notes 🙃

I’m gonna breakdown this analysis/reflection into further sections, just to give myself some anchors & break up the blocks of text. Also as a way to just be that pretentious, maybe with an academic flair, as is fitting to be for something about Dan Howell (said affectionately 💕)

The Script/Writing

When considering the text of the show itself, two things came to mind for me:

(1) This is definitely what I would call intertext. Intertext is a piece of writing that relates to another or more other writings through allusions. WAD is an intertext which alludes mainly to other works of Dan’s on his YouTube channel. The ability to get the true impact of the show relies on you knowing Dan (as his internet persona) on some level. And as a theatre maker & longtime fan, I love that it is, it’s what the piece needed to be. As a theatre producer, the hiatus from engaging with his audience and the limited runway given to reactivate interest in him and his creative work I think made it difficult to get that audience in some venues, along with some other funkiness (mainly with promo) I am less knowledgeable on. But I think Dan has already learned/continues to learn from that, which I think may have been valuable for him. (sidenote: I need the tea on all that because I love knowing how presenting venues work with performers, as well as the lack of understanding they have of internet culture as it relates to venue leadership.)

(2) This was a work he made for himself. He mentions this both in the show & in reference to WAD multiple times. But I think what truly came to mind for me was that it is still powerful for him to write for himself. He is writing for what he needs to be hearing or wants to be processing creatively.

I think why it is powerful is that Dan has discussed before how much stress he put on himself regarding danisnotonfire, and later Daniel Howell, videos, focusing on the audience, and how he was presenting a specific style/quality of video to them. Add in the layer of being closeted & actively fighting internalized homophobia, and the anxiety he built up makes sense. And I might personally attribute that more to his need to pass as straight & catering I believe at one point to an audience of cishet men, whether actual or perceived by him. Not all videos, especially the most impactful ones in my opinion, rely on this, but it was a key piece of what he made during his rise in popularity on the platform. This catering slowly decreased with the amount of uploads he was doing, along with a more tangible understanding of his audience thanks to the tours he did with Phil. Basically I’m Gay I think was the true shift where he gave himself permission to write work that had a main audience of himself. That’s where his best work has come from, and I think since then, he’s been able to have the space to process things creatively through his writing.

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The Relationship Between Performer & Audience

When I was in theatre school, my directing teacher would constantly talk about not just considering the relationship of the performers on “stage” (I did a lot of more immersive work & we only had black box theatres, which is literally a room that is floor to ceiling black) but also the relationship of the performers & the story with the audience. By Dan knowing mainly who his audience would be, the show can now play with that understanding in mind.

This leads to my point that, overall, Dan does not use the fourth wall, and I think that is what makes We’re All Doomed work. It may also be why he called it a comedy show, idk.

For those who don’t know what the fourth wall is, it is a term from theatre originally that is about the way in which a traditional theatre stage (called a proscenium) has three physical walls around it, while there is no 4th physical wall, so the audience can see the performance. If does exist physically, it is only the curtain that acts as the 4th “wall”. So, in order to keep it as a separation between the performers and the audience, the actors treat the side where the audience is as a fourth wall. When someone breaks the 4th wall, this is when they speak to audience directly, rather than to another character. Examples from English-speaking pop culture would be the asides from Hamlet or Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. But when you are the only person on stage, the only way to have a fourth wall is when you don’t reference that you know there’s an audience there. Hence, a monologue where the character is talking to themselves or an entity that is not the audience directly (or assigned to be the audience by the director), it is the closest you can have a fourth wall when alone.

Dan in his videos and in his previous tours with Phil never were without direct engagement of the audience (obvious with the naming of Interactive Introverts). It was never not a variation on him speaking with the audience in any type of dialogue, even if done parasocially.

Some of that is not new to theatre, but I would say is that it has become more of a trend within new theatre starting in the early 2010s to have more interactivity and a more authentic, explicit message that no performance will be the exact same. I definitely saw that in the shows I saw both Off-Broadway (which sidenote, all that means is that there’s fewer seats in that theatre, not about quality of the work or how worth it is to engage with) and larger settings like Broadway and the West End. That’s what I love about theatre, and why my own work is more about immersion and direct audience engagement.

Now Dan’s creative works have never been skit only or interested in telling a story outside of the realm of connecting with an audience as a variation of himself, so again, him not using the fourth wall overall is appropriate and fits in with what I mentioned about intertext. The piece does however start with a fourth wall for the music number, which I will walk through fully sharing why I am saying that about the song & dance opening after establishing some other concepts to help build understanding.

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Design Can Work With You or Against You

I just want to say out the gate that the design was done really well, and I immediately felt a need to emphasize it after watching the first 10 minutes again.

First, let’s talk about the orange & black aesthetic of the show. Dan may have simply said that the orange just looked cool, but I think I would attribute more meaning to that color. Orange brings to my mind at first instance both a bright happiness/warmth and a sense of caution and warning, like road signs (at least those in America). The themes of the show reflect these two ideas and plays with the tension between them. I don’t know if he or the team meant to have that be a conscious choice, but there’s a joke I’ve had with other directors of when they get complimented on something unexpected, they just nod and say “yes, that was a choice”, even though it was just a random thing that happened or was something that you just thought would be cool to do. Orange runs through the show’s designs and it becomes clear that it is a tool for contrast and emphasis for the points Dan & the director want to make.

Now with the design team of costumes, lights, sound, and media, I can see a clear cohesion. Good theatrical design has the designs act as a character or highlighter in the story. Bad theatrical design can take away/distract from the core intensions of the show. It was so clear to me that the design was a character. And seeing that there were two media designers make complete sense considering the labor lift of both creating the projections displayed, but also creating/filming pieces of the media itself. The music/sound and lighting work well to articulate the manic feelings it means to instill in the audience and seeing it as a director, I assume part of the creative discussion was about parts of the media played they wanted to make sure were heard, and the lights help catch attentions in service of those pulled out moments. For costumes, I think Calvina did well in her post at articulating the elements of the costume and the progression it goes throughout the show. I’d rather not take up space to say the same thing truthfully.

With all the design elements, I think three characters could be defined (not including the audience), two as main characters, and one as a supporting character. I would name the main characters as “the Circle” (the looming set piece throughout hosting the projections used throughout) and “Dan On Stage/Dan performing” (the one in the physical space) with the “voiceover Dan/inner voice Dan” as a supporting character. The voiceover only exists in the beginning, and it is only shared with us to demonstrate the way in which the Dan On Stage singing is not really that aggressively optimistic and wholeheartedly believes the words he is singing. He is not the Dan we know from the Internet, so we can cathartically laugh at the attempt to pretend everything is fine. The voiceover only has one role, and it is to force Dan to confront this breakdown has an audience.

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Staging an Opening Sequence: Our First Stage Character is the Circle

In directing classes, often what you focus on is called stage pictures, which is meant to help you consider what the actual imagery you want to ensure the audience absorbs for their understanding of the piece. The first and last stage moment of each act should tell a basic story of what happened, and therefore, are heavily emphasized as important for directors. The Circle (capitalized for reference purposes) being lit up before the show starts and then again in conjunction with the light flashes and sound establishes the importance of the Circle to the show. When the projection comes into play, showing the speech of a 15-year-old Greta Thunberg before beginning to add more, we are then introduced to the purpose of the Circle to be an output/portal for the overstimulation of messages, in this case, I would claim it being what comes from the Internet.

The music/sound and lighting work well to articulate the manic feelings it means to instill in the audience and seeing it as a director, I assume part of the creative discussion was about parts of the media played they wanted to make sure were heard, and the lights help catch attentions in service of those pulled out moments. The Circle also through some of the lighting moments, mimic that of a clock, which again adds to the doomsday, the "end is near" type energy. To have the end of the opening sequence build to an explosion which then shows solid orange at the end while Dan is in silhouette begins the introduction to the orange emphasis & proposes a sort of prophet-like version of him after the apocalyptic imagery disappears as he rises to be seen. What we have opened with is setting the tone to how we should view these two characters of the Circle & the Dan on Stage.

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Song Time!

Dan is such a theatre kid & I love that for him. His dramatic side shows through the moment he used a rise to start his show at the top of the stairs, first in a place of seriousness with the sharp lighting and smoke to then bring in a very happy music number. The contrast & switching of expectations is a key of comedic works, and shows through most of the phandom who did not know WAD started with that, as it is indeed funnier if it comes as a shock. The movement & music mimic what folks attribute to as musical theatre, which is campy, happy singing. Knowing he was the one who suggested the song for TATINOF, I am loving Dan clearly wanting to have that opening number of a musical moment, even if it is dripping in irony. The Circle & the lights in this acts as a supporter to the message of it being sunshine and rainbows, with literal rainbow lights included. (Sidenote: I am 99% sure the pigeon coo is Phil, so if anything, I’m disappointed he was not credited as Pigeon sound effect AND remote crisis manager. Idk why I could tell, but both times now, it’s what I immediately thought when hearing that part)

I think of the musical number as the only place where he does have a fourth wall, because the number does not directly reference the audience at the start. It’s a one-man moment and it is about the performance not the audience engagement. It starts falling away when he starts pointing out the “and you”s, but the voiceover is the real break in our understanding of the world. It is emphasized by the color inversion of the sun & sky media of the Circle. The director is saying, this is important to how you now interpret what you’ve seen & will see, this is another shift from what was established of this world.

I should mention “world” is the terminology used to name what the environment the story is being told in with consideration, especially in theatre, of how much of a need there is for suspension of disbelief. I believe this term is also referenced a lot when discussing the fantasy and sci-fi genres, since those also requires some distancing from reality for the audience. This ties into a phrase I will probably end up using a lot of “rules of the space”. When establishing this world for the show you are presenting to an audience, there is a type of logic that must be established in order to understand what is the baseline for what the audience will be engaging with over the span of the show. But the voiceover immediately changes the rules of the space, because it messes with the Dan on stage, and messes with the messaging of the Circle. It adds a new context to the Dan On Stage, as while a fan will know that this song is not in alignment of our knowledge of Dan Howell, we get confirmation that this indeed ironic and outside of the branding that Dan has boxed himself into over his time on YouTube.

But the voiceover is also not in alignment with that “branding”. It expresses concerns related to the Dan On Stage’s mental wellbeing. There is no irony or subtext in that voice, it is the most direct in speaking to Dan On Stage, because it is being said by a variation of Dan in voiceover to himself. These could be seen as questions he knows to ask himself, but as someone who advocates for mental health & shares now about being openly gay, I interpret that he may feel he cannot express that outside of his mind for fear of undermining his advocacy points. The discussion of the “wonders” of the Internet also continue building in the tension that exists throughout WAD of how Dan feels about that space. The voiceover then proposes at first a type of equal extreme, which only sees the Doom, and as someone with clinical Depression myself, I think is only a furtherance of the breakdown, rather than the reality check it started off being. Not that what is listed is wrong by any means, but the barrage of it is meant to expand the drowning feeling, not act as call to action or consideration of the intricacies for engaging in the world. With the Circle’s sun imagery & the music having been inverted and shifted to something more sinister, Dan’s movement up the stairs fits a type of circular moment from the first entry of him, where the image of the prophetic figure is questioned on how he alone will solve the climate emergency. The slap & break of character for the Dan on Stage serves to confirm our understanding of the voiceover as the voice in Dan’s head & indeed there are not two Dans.

Also, the sparklers 🎇 showing up really make the key change for the song, but my producer brain is going, “girl, of course you lost money on this show, was that so VERY NECESSARY?” But the dramatic Gemini theatre bitch in me would 100% want this too. I just don’t have a capita£ester working to get sponsorship money in my life, so I have to be reasonable 😔 Also, the confetti with the high note is peak theatre gay so I again, love that for him. And of course, the confetti is orange.

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Hints of Orange

When the song reaches its end & the Circle starts showing squares of orange, rather than a full background, this acts as a seed for the breakdown and waterfall of cubes, which Calvina speaks to the orange cube hint at the beginning in her post. The sudden cut-out with Dan simply lit replicates a moment the Circle is not present. The Internet is not present. To crawl to a microphone, the message is not “hey this guy needs two mics”, because we see one on his face, but that the wired mic (which I will now label as “The Microphone”) is a metaphor. It’s a crawl towards sharing out, not suppression. Only when the voiceover of himself points out the audience does he does a full fourth wall break. The suppression did not work, and neither he nor the audience can believe that it was the Truth.

The wire of the Microphone being orange showcases that it was meant to be seen. I don’t think it even in play in terms of the sound, like it might not even be on, considering the feedback nightmare it would likely cause. And no standard microphone used on stages has orange wires, because that would pull the audience’s eyes to it. But that’s the point here.

The rules of the space are now this: the Circle is not always active, the Microphone has significance, the Dan On Stage knows there is an audience. None of these were true before, even the Circle was on before the start. This draws the audience to know there has been a shift & to have the first words said into the Microphone be “We’re All Doomed” solidifies the song moment was a blip, that this is really where we start at. As an example, in the social media section, Dan does a deliberate wrapping of the wire on his hand at the same time the Circle scrolls to the social media icon. It is how the director & Dan are ensuring that we understand “what he is saying and what is been shown on the screen are in tandem”, so if you’re paying attention to that wire, it signals you should look up too.

Every other prop, except I believe the gavel and wig, is also orange. The bubble gun is mainly what comes to mind for me, since the cubes are not as activated as props necessarily. But if an item is to enter the stage, what I interpret it as is that it must be orange, there must be high contrast, nothing in the physical world on the stage can become blurred, only screens have that privilege(?) to have things blend together.

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The Power Struggle Between Dan & the Circle

Once Dan has begun directly conversing with the audience, the rules of the space are:

(1) Dan On Stage acts, the design elements react (not including the Circle)

(2) The Circle and Dan have a symbiotic relationship, as neither have complete control over the other & react to what each other are doing

(3) The icons are our guides in understanding the sectioning done throughout the show

(4) Having “One Good Night” is the goal to reach at the end of the piece

As a person, as well as discussed throughout the show, we know that Dan has a contentious relationship with the Internet. It is what has given him his living but has also caused some of his worst moments mentally (2012? I don’t know her). It is the space in which lets him have an audience who have mainly showed him support, but also the space that has fed the cynicism that fuels his clinical depression. There lies in the way in which the Circle exists on the stage & looms over Dan in the background. It’s a necessary evil of what appears on the screen.

Why do I then say that the design elements are reacting? Well, if we remove the Circle from the equation, the lights, sounds effects, and props are all cued off of something Dan does like the clown honk. However, the Circle sometimes cues off what Dan does, but sometimes instigates what Dan speaks to. That especially is evident when video clips play that invoke what media Dan has been contending with on the Internet and the consequences of those things.

The Circle exists throughout both Act One & Act Two, but only becomes passive to the piece when Dan directly shows vulnerability & the removal of protective irony. Calvina spoke to this when discussing the costume choice of him opening the jumpsuit in Act Two to show the orange tank underneath.

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Cubes as Articulators

Oh Creator did I have to dig deep into my brain for this term of articulators. So my directing instructor had some key terms that I think I don’t think are universally used, even by American theatre directors or at least in academic settings. She defined articulators to basically be elements that helped give almost like checkpoints for the progression of a throughline in a show. For WAD, that is easily those orange cubes.

When static is displayed on the Circle’s screen each time we transition to a new section, it is not the typical emulation of TV static, it is that sea of orange squares. It is an articulation of those fear, issues, concerns, all those pinpoints Dan speaks to why he says “We’re All Doomed”.

That’s why there is the culmination of the orange cubes falling on him, when he reaches the top of the stairs at the end of Act One. When he circles back to the same stage picture of him at the top, it can been considered a repetition of the prophetic imagery I pointed out from the opening sequence. What changes is that the orange squares enter the physical world, falling onto Dan. He can no longer say they live in his head. They are here and stay in the space until the end of the show. In Act One, they are the looming issues that signal the Apocalypse. In Act Two, they are the rubble that must be sorted through.

Calvina was the one who named it rubble and the cubes as representations of Dan’s problems. To have the audience actually able to take a cube home, she argued, would be symbolic of the audience helping carry that weight. While I’d love that, I mentioned in my tags on her post that I think mentally, that rubble would still be at his feet, even with taking home that visual metaphor. This is Dan we’re talking about, and with personal responsibility being a topic of the show, while it’s not his burden to bear alone, he does have to recognize it exists.

I think the repetition of the prophetic imagery comes to its climax when in the aftermath found in Act 2, voting who to fire into space can and does end up with him being sent by the audience. It represents an understanding of where he exists now from where he did at 18 in terms of social, political, and economic access and the possibilities of his influence. There is a responsibility there that ties to how he can move in the world now publicly, so why wouldn’t he have an existential crisis?

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It is a Comedy Though, Right?

This is hundred percent comedy, and obvious dark humor at that. As a director, I love comedy, especially this type, because when an audience gets to laugh, the armor gets stripped away. They have no built-up resistance that let’s any uncomfortable point be heard effectively. It’s why the end’s vulnerability is effective, because we have already joked and laughed about our pains and our desire for escapism. Now we are able to move on into a place of reflection.

To underline why I say this is not stand-up comedy is that Dan has made it a stage show, just one that has comedy as a vehicle for telling this “story”. His interactions with his audience, through both quips based on audience reactions or “heckling” as well as explicitly asking for input into who to shot to space or what to add as a mad lib (generic brand for law purposes), are about being blended into the loose narrative constructed already, not actually to be reactionary like most crowd work I associate with stand-up comedy.

If anything, I could argue that it could be considered a comedy special that “Dan On Stage” is trying to make, but there is actually conflict being introduced that disrupts his set (both the comedy one and the physical one). There is clearly a showing of meta, as Dan makes sure to share thoughts on the creation of the show, the reactions from his overall show branding & imagery, the use of the lift because it was expensive to have. Dan’s comedy style can never be told without reference to behind the scenes, because if this is a creative means to process feelings, there are things about the show & its making that impact what needs to be processed too. It is also related to how his work is strengthened by acknowledging the two-way street of being in a parasocial relationship with his audience.

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Can We Have One Good Night?

Another term central to what my directing teacher spoke of was the “Core”, usually a question, though not always, that motivated what was being explored over the course of a theatre piece. At the top, as Dan on Stage exaggerates that love doesn’t exist (which Dan refutes as being an actual belief of his during the afterparty) and other sardonic phrases, he also states he wants to give his audience one good night, because he recognizes the escapism his audience finds in his solo and joint content. We’re All Doomed’s Core is “can we just have one good night, even in the midst of the horrors we have outside of these theatre doors?”. But I would also say that in terms of where his writing was at the time of WAD’s inception and the naming of his mental health book as You Will Get Through This Night, it feels more like Dan himself has been grappling with a Core of “can I have one good night? Or a full 24 hours where I feel mainly happy when all I am bombarded with about the world is suffering?” I think night can be both literal, since we know he has had sleep issues, and metaphorical, as the night can represent this depressive episode he was writing himself out of.

When the mood tracker gets discussed in the last portion of WAD, to see a sea of neutral or uninterested emojis demonstrates when he took the time to do it, the answer that night was “no, not really” 😕. The main one mentioned is the ritual of “Fry Day” he has with Phil (sidenote: why are these British men not calling it “Chip Day”, since this ritual falls on a Saturday?), which is a rare smiley face. The question he likely has then is “can I ever have a good night again?”

So for him to then turn to his own videos during one of those nights, to a video where he states his famous “embrace the void and have the courage to exist,” that showcases what I mentioned of his best work being written for himself, in this case, a future version of himself.

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Ending Sequence: Where Do We Land?

When the Circle does not display any media, it again shows the orange square motif, but after mentioning his own video, he turns to his audience for glimpses of what joy exists even in the face of Doom. The Circle changes into a display of different submitted clips showcasing this joy and hope that Dan was clearly looking for throughout this piece. He walks towards the top of the stairs to witness these clips. I cannot for my life at this point having now been separate from it for about a month, but I believe before the submitted media sequence, he states the famous line again of “Embrace the Void and Have the Courage to Exist”. With this last thing spoken, it gives that emphasis needed to take in the message emotionally and then witness what the Void (in this case the Circle) can offer.

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A Good Director Should Go Unnoticed

When someone is not versed in theatrical directing, if the audience cannot tell what was a choice by the director or even consider the director themselves, this is weirdly a good sign. It means that it feels natural to what they are witnessing and to the messages that are meant to be communicated to the audience. As someone who also works in government, it feels very similar, as only bad work is evident to the general public. Obviously that is not true for everyone, but is an overall trait I think impacts both an understanding of public service and directing.

I am not familiar with any of the work of Ed Stambollouian, who through research, looks like he has done work with comedians like Joe Lycett (who I am also not familiar with) and directed TATINOF, but also more stripped down, exploratory theatre. Through a quick review of his portfolio, one, I am not shocked that Dan tapped him to assist with directing since there is a familiarity and two, his background tells me he knows how to direct for writer-performers, which is what comedians really are at the end of the day.

To direct for those who are doing one-person shows that they both wrote and performed, it is especially tricky to have the artist hand the reins over to the director. The director in this case acts as the artist’s eyes, because an artist cannot clone themselves. It is impossible for them to wear multiple hats at once, where they can give quality, objective feedback to themselves while also doing a full out performance. For Ed to be someone Dan has worked with before, there is already an established understanding of each other’s work styles, and a trust that otherwise would have to be built up before the work can truly begin to finalize the piece.

In short, Ed Stambollouian and the creative team on We’re All Doomed did an incredible job bringing what I understand Dan intended when he started writing this down in isolation. And @danielhowell you whole-heartedly deserve to call this your magnum opus. What can I say (sorry I can't help lovingly poking fun at you), your artistry shines throughout the show. I hope this too can be something your future self can turn back to.

🧡

(bonus) Thoughts on Orange Carpet & the Phil element

I didn’t fully rewatch the orange carpet, just to keep myself on task & not bring Phil too much into the main reflection without explicit reference in the show, but hearing Dan go “I’m alive in 3, 2…” made me laugh both times. He understands that we just want to know he has a pulse, ya know? Also them pretending it totally was live, when those fools (affectionate) cannot run a real live broadcast from their home for their lives. It just ran too smoothly, esp. in the transitions, for it to be anything but some very, very light editing on one improvised take they did. But I always support them in their acting, no matter how bad, like with DITL Australia’s opener or pretending there were not two apartments or that Google Feud being back was unplanned or Dil being pregnant with a statistically rare alien child or Phil living in a tiled, cramped bedroom or...

Also, Dan’s little laugh at the end of Phil’s sign-off is so fond it hurts. It also hurt that the VOD was hard to scrub through, so another deduction for the Kiswe platform.

Anyway, I’m glad that Dan was able to find space outside of the Dan & Phil branding of the 2010s as well as the image he was forced to manufacture for his YouTube presence, but also realize that with having a core audience that wants him to simply be happy, he can recognize that Phil is part of the things that make him happy. And can do so openly.

He is his own person, but it has been clearly emphasized now that Dan has no interest in not acknowledging that Phil always is and will be part of his present and future. He has made work like WAD & "Gay and Not Proud" to explore his way of thinking without the support of Phil present in the filmed/performed aspect. Dan acknowledges this intention, which is evident with him shooing away Phil at the beginning of “Gay and Not Proud” to process it alone.

It is also evident with the ending of “Daniel & Depression” and the WAD end credit of remote crisis manager showcasing the caretaking role Phil often plays in Dan’s life. But we know that caretaking is reciprocal, considering Phil's tactics with glue as well as his continuing health issues and anxieties. Dan has seen who he is without Phil by his side everyday in the public eye & has no interest in maintaining that Phil is absent for public projections.

I obviously do not know Dan Howell, or anything about him outside what exists on the internet. But in performance studies, there is a foundational understanding that there is no way to not be performing in some way during your day-to-day. Performing is not inherently a bad thing, as there are different roles you take on in your life, where how I engage at work is different from how I am hanging out with friends. This also has basis in gender studies, such as ideas that you can perform your gender "wrong". What has been so interesting to me in this phandom renaissance is the way Dan and Phil each perform as themselves in front of the camera now. What they share out and the layers they include--or choose to not remove--have been stated by them explicitly to be the most authentic they have ever been, without obviously removing their right to privacy. During the height of the glass closet that was their 2018 content, I remember thinking that it was going to be the most they would show us in the vain of "if you know, you know, and we know who will know". After the coming out videos of 2019, obviously that's not true, but the return of dapg has signaled a message of "we know you know, if you've been in the know" while veiled in a way that is not immediately perceivable by those who are casually engaging with their content. It is an authentic portrayal of themselves without filter, while also providing themselves space to not have to announce everything to the world. When you are in the know, it definitely targeted and causes psychic damage, but I am ready for anything and everything they throw our way.

[genesiseven]

hi bae what if i requested a. dan heng x gn reader. uh. fluffy drabble teeeheee like slice of lifey w him <33

Omg yes yes, this might be a little short because i ran out of ideas and my brain stopped working :(( (and guys I definitely didn't go into yuzu's askbox first to ask them to request hehe-)

𝑭𝑺𝑴 ✩ 𝑨 𝑺𝑳𝑰𝑪𝑬 𝑶𝑭 𝑳𝑰𝑭𝑬

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ��ᥲrᥒ . Some parts may be inaccurate?, gn reader

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤsᥙm .How life with Dan heng would be (requested <3)

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤᥴһᥲr . Dan Heng

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤᥕord coᥙᥒt . 823

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ☕︎⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

𐑺 Life with Dan heng would be relaxing at most, with his calm and composed nature, arguments are kept low.

But of course, every couple isn't free from little disagreements, coming up with petty little fights, but calling yours arguments would be a dumb choice, which really are little witty comments, playful ones, being thrown at eachother in a playful manner.

𐑺 Knowing of his blunt nature, if the two of you live in different housings, it's common for him to be at your door, ringing the bell, with a simple, plain, excuse of "I can't sleep", just to be with his lover.

No matter how far you live away, Dan heng always makes it possible to visit you from long distances

𐑺 Sometimes, such excuses are used, he'd wake up from nightmares, sweating profusely, rushing to your door, wearing his shoes, pants and a button down, he'd ring the door in a panic.

Which of course, never fails to wake you up and rush downstairs.

𐑺 He's had his troubles, letting him cry into your shoulder is the best option available, comfort him please, this poor baby has had enough 😭

𐑺 For when the two of you live together and he yet again wakes up from a nightmare, and you aren't in the bed with him?

Instant death, he rummages through the entirety of the house, yelling your name.

You rushed back to him, explaining how you couldn't sleep and decided to catch up on some fresh air, staring at the sky's beautiful tears, which are the stars.

𐑺 omg when you bring him to gaze at the sky together to comfort him?

This man will give his life to you I swear

𐑺 Gifts are uncommon, but it's usual, fancy and expensive gifts are rare, with bouquet of roses he may or may not have stolen from the neighbour's backyard.. are most common.

𐑺 Something tells me that this man knows way too much about what a flower means and what the different types of colour mean 😭

𐑺 On missions, it's always usual for you to send the message first, due to him being so busy, he's not able to text first.

He's a focused man, meaning, he sometimes forgets to text his lover back or first.

𐑺 But worry not! He always comes home with plenty of sweets and gifts to enjoy, the biggest gift being him and his sweet voice whispering sweet nothings and sorrys into your ear <33

𐑺 He loves calm areas, so expect dates to be set at quiet areas, such as flower fields, libraries, etc etc

𐑺 Amazing cook tbh, while he lacks baking experience, his dumplings are to DIE for

You would be walking into the cafeteria knowing your food is the best out of everyone

𐑺 Will and shall make a bubble bath for you when you get home stressed and tired.

𐑺 Don't think he will leave you in the bubble bath all by yourself now <3

This man is obsessed with your hair and how smooth it is, so expect him to play with your hair for endless hours <33

𐑺 Loves to embrace you anywhere and everywhere, but never outside the comfort of your home.

𐑺 Yup, he's not a big pda guy :(

𐑺 But he will hold your hand though <3

Rubbing soothing circles on your palm with his thumb when in a crowd or a long stressful event, sometimes, even kissing your hand when the eyes of the people are on their phones.

But never over that.

𐑺 Please be interested in his hobbies, such as reading, he will literally cry from the effort and appreciation

𐑺 Speaking of the topic reading, if you lose the ability to sleep, he whispers stories, or sometimes read a book you might be interested in.

If you are intrigued but fell asleep, he will continue the story the next night <3

𐑺 Some nights are of freezing temperatures, which you may think result in you being the little spoon but no

This man can't handle the cold, so let him sleep as the little spoon plsplsplsplsplspls

𐑺 After warm baths, he falls asleep as soon as he hits the bed, with you cuddling him.

As you whisper sweet nothings into his ear, just like he does, his mind is kept worry-free, from nightmares and other hazards, his dreams being as loving as you, sometimes, resulting a dream of where the two are married, living the Disney life of happily ever after. A small smile and blush creeping up his face, which you didn't fail to notice.

"What must you be dreaming of now my little prince?" You sighed out in a whisper, causation of to not wake him of his wonderful dream.

You fell asleep as he moved closer to you.

Both figures relishing in eachother's warm embrace, keeping them at comfort. Knowing tomorrow will be the start of another week.

copyright © @https-y2kcom | all works belong to @https-y2kcom, do not steal, plagiarise, copy, post to other social media without the consent of the original author.

[niktoes]

₊˚♡˚₊ a silly collection of general headcanons surrounding könig ₊˚♡˚₊

♡ because he lacks a name so far, i just gave him otto at some point b/c I like it. so! ♡

♡ on this blog, könig's name is otto, used while he's off duty ♡

Tags: headcanon, no pairings, general everyday life stuff.

♡ generally a laidback, mellow man with a playful streak and knack for mischief when the mood strikes him. tends to be more reserved upon first meetings, but loosens up with a little time and familiarity. he knows pretty quickly if he'll wind up friends with someone. very much the type of man that either clicks with someone right off the bat or doesn't at all.

♡ even off-duty, otto's professional moniker is unassuming enough that it became a silly nickname among good friends at some point after a little slip-up on his part, earlier in life. it's a bit cheeky, but it's all in good fun and doesn't really carry any risk. a night on the town among friends? there isn't a drink served to him that isn't followed by a dumb, 'your drink, mein König?', or some other variation of 'oh, my liege ordered the cake! feeling bad tonight, are we?'. yeah, his friends can really ham it up sometimes - and he's pretty tickled to play into it, too.

♡ he's blunt, and his humour tends to lean more into sarcasm than cheeky one-liners, though he'll definitely rattle a couple off if the moment lines up just right. he doesn't enjoy speaking just for the sake of speaking, so if he's roped into a conversation with no real direction just to fill the time, he's likely to politely disengage. he can get a bit stiff otherwise, because empty talk tends to leave him with nothing to contribute to the conversation - and that typically just makes him feel a bit awkward.

♡ man's got a sweet tooth that he works hard to compensate for in the gym. yeah, he's lifting to stay in the best shape possible for the field, but sweets also just love to stick to his bones if he doesn't have something to burn off the extra carbs. he loves some good apple pastries.

♡ the hood is not a permanent fixture on his head. at work? sure, but that's largely due to the fact that he is already an easily recognisable man, thanks to his juggernaut stature. if he's off-duty and milling around town, he's bare-faced and comfortable in his skin. he has social anxiety, but in this season of his life, it tends to manifest more as a manageable discomfort when he's shoved into the spotlight. like being called out in public by an oblivious stranger, 'so big! wow! how tall are you?', is both old and feels a bit rude when he's otherwise just trying to mind his own business.

♡ has plenty of hobbies outside of work, both outdoorsy and in. hiking, quiet walks in the market, he likes watching hockey - and he's liable to shred his buddies in football/soccer due to his natural competitiveness. working out to relieve stress, cooking, and reading is an especially dear hobby to him, too. he likes all kinds of genres. campy romance novels are not off the table - in fact, they're his fun little secret for quiet nights in.

♡ he isn't at all socially inept. the man's pushing 40 years old, and for what he lacked in his younger years he's learned to compensate for over time. direct communication is obviously his preference if he doesn't know someone well, because he sometimes risks missing the point if someone's being vague with the intention of making him read between the lines. tends to misconstrue more subtle flirtation as someone just being friendly, if a bit casual, so his dating life is definitely a bit slower than someone else's might be. doesn't help that his schedule is always pretty packed.

♡ buzzcut könig reigns supreme here! sometimes he lets it grow out a bit if he's off duty for a while, but it's really just easier to manage a shaved head in his line of work. less fuss over taming his hair, less time and money spent on maintenance - he just prefers a close, clean cut over letting his hair go wild. he refuses to deal with longer hair getting in his eyes when he wears his hood, or trying to ignore the weight of its fabric pulling on a ponytail. it is a pretty colour though, when it's a little longer. ash blonde, with a couple premature greys that've been kicking around since his late 20s.

♡ hyperaware of himself and his surroundings at all times. it's not even a conscious act on his part anymore to keep his head on a swivel and his eyes keen. he's always been this way, because growing up with social anxiety in his day was rough. he's damn good at reading people and their feelings, and as a result of that, he tends to be a fairly empathetic guy. if someone he cares about is going through tough times, he'll pick up on it relatively fast and he's overall happy to lend a listening ear or a helping hand if anyone needs one.

♡ memory of a goddamn elephant. otto does not forget what he's picked up through conversation, and because of that he tends to come across as the thoughtful sort. close friends and family get damned good gifts when it hits the holiday season or a birthday, because at some point he's heard what everyone would like, and he buys accordingly - he definitely makes the money to do so. however, his gifts are generally useful or sentimental rather than dust collectors. he really isn't a fan of useless gifts bought without any real thought invested into them.

[poetryismypainrelief]

Cathartic Poetry: A Means To Take Control of Pain Without Medicine

As much as it pains me to admit this, much of my exploration of poetry has been through the internet. I have longed to hold a thick, yellowed book in my hands, an intimate collection of words composed by humanity's greatest, read, dissected, and admired by many before me, but modern-day convenience is its own blessing and curse. I have come to admire the works of many tragically talented poets, Sylvia Plath, Nizar Qabbani, and Mahmoud Darwish. If these people all wrote poetry to process the pain they felt, could the opposite hold true as well? Historically, Art has been seen as a cathartic process, but what if it were to work on a larger scale? This thought is what propelled me to begin my research on the topics of pain, poetry, and the human brain.

Pain in the Brain

I will attempt to keep this brief so as to not bore you all to death immediately. Humans have been blessed and cursed with intelligence and emotions; they allow us to better comprehend ourselves and the world, perceive situations more accurately, make connections, and decide how to react based on all these stimuli. These processes are like intricately woven webs.

This immensely overwhelming image is essentially a map of connections in the human brain: neurons, nerve fibers, and synapses are all depicted. They mingle, send signals, and interact with each other at lightning speed to allow us to do what is necessary in what feels like an instant. All perceptions happen in the brain. Pain, love, disgust, fear, surprise, happiness, sadness, every single feeling is conjured up in the brain in milliseconds due to these tendrils sending electric signals to each other. This is why it is so easy to distract ourselves, to confuse and trick our brains. Optical and auditory illusions are great examples of it.  The brain is the CEO of the body. When an injury happens, the tissue in the area where the injury occurs releases pain receptors known as nociceptors. These neurotransmitters send signals to the brain along the spinal cord, alerting the brain of possible danger. Note the use of the word potential. This is because there may not be damage. Your brain then evaluates the situation given the circumstances, environment, and body conditions and relays the message to the rest of the body to react. When injured, the brain sometimes releases feel-good chemicals known as endorphins, natural pain relievers. For example, sometimes you just stub your toe on the edge of the door. The pain signals that hurt, and not to do that in the future because that could potentially harm the body. The brain made this assessment because it realized no severe damage was done, but the pain serves as a warning, and pain reliever hormones are released to resolve the problem. Sometimes, you cut yourself with a knife by accident; the pain is a sign that your body needs to start the healing process and up its production of what is associated with the healing process. Your brain made this assessment at the sight of blood coming from your hand, the blood pressure in your hand changing, and other signals from inside and outside your body. The brain makes all major decisions when it comes to the body. While this is all good to know, why am I telling you all this?

The Research

In my deep dive to understand why poetry, in particular, would help people cope with pain, I came across many articles and studies already in the field. This extensive field still has much to explore, but I will share some important or interesting findings here. In a 2016 study with 75 hospitalized cancer patients, they found that poetry improved their pain scores and depression scores, and additionally, it increased subjects' hope scores. A 2015 study about Poetry Therapy in Post-Stroke patients found that poetry brought back parts of patients' personalities by allowing them to rediscover themselves through poetry. It allowed them to stop living passively and instead add brightness to what may otherwise be a lethargic way of living, working as a natural treatment. A 2022 study about the impact of poetry therapy on the self-esteem of patients with mental illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar syndrome found that there was a significant increase in self-esteem scores, personal performance, and social performance scores. A 2021 study with children, published by the American Academy of Pediatrics, evaluated how poetry was helpful for children in the hospital. The study revealed that poetry revealed feelings of fear, sadness, anger, worry, and fatigue in children. The children in the study reported that the poems allowed them to process their feelings. One of the poems used was Hope is a Thing with Feathers, by Emily Dickinson, a famous American Poet.

The Understanding

While reading through these countless research studies and what they outlined as criteria, I realized many of those being researched were people with longer-term illnesses. The studies I felt were the most thorough were on cancer patients and those with PTSD. It made me wonder why, in theory, that poetry would be so effective on them. But it began to click when I saw a certain word being utilized. Catharsis. Catharsis, as defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary, is the purification or purgation of emotions, primarily through art. For those suffering from some kind of long-term pain, not something that can simply have a bandaid placed over it, catharsis is necessary.Unlike when a toe is stubbed or even when you accidentally get cut, the pain does not go away for these people. Their brain does not naturally release those feel-good hormones because the issue has not been resolved somehow. This festers, this bothers, and this begins to affect someone physically and mentally. It becomes easy to get tunnel vision and believe that this is how life will always be. Reliance on pain relief drugs, other people, machines, and so forth. It feels belittling to become unable to live by oneself. The reason why poetry worked was because it provided catharsis for these people. It allowed them to release their emotions, their fear, and their hesitance and allow them to take control of their lives again. Poetry is not only a balm to soothe the soul but also challenging and complex. It forces one to think about oneself and how one chooses to understand and interpret things; it makes one reassess oneself. It is like a workout for the brain. This sense of being challenged is part of what makes it so rewarding to read poetry. It is a highly interactive piece of art.

Please listen to the poem above and allow it to sit with you. I'd like you to focus on how the words are being spoken. Are they different from how you would have said them in your head? Poetry is deeply personal, after all. For this exact reason, poetry cannot work for everyone. Some people simply do not wish to sit there and introspect; they would much rather do something or do nothing at all. However, poetry may be the perfect tool for those who genuinely want to cope with their pain. It allows for something that is not synthetic, like a drug; it does not feel inauthentic or corporate. It is deeply human. Poetry offers a gateway into understanding the links between the human brain not previously thought of and alternative methods of treatment when medicine is not viable or for people who want to slowly get off of medication. It allows a whole new world of opportunity to be explored and lets the healing power of the human spirit.

[cathalbravecog]

long ramble, haven't had one of these in a while! if you read this, have fun. it's headcanons/thoughts on some stuff. i don't talk about my thoughts on story stuff publicly much anymore especially because 1) i'm shy 2) trust issues 3) bad rsd 4) i forgot the last point

i was writing for oNCE yesterday (some headcanon stuff, for myself, won't be posting that unless i change the wording of some of it to make more sense because i ramble a lot and it's a mess. like i am doing right now. also that turned into being mostly about hr in the end because i am ill. now hopefully this motivation will get me to write my mary and archie stuff.)

and when i went to bed i was thinking about some stuff in toontown, mostly the cogs - and how things work. these are things i ponder on very often and have talked about with my friends many time, throwing ideas back and forth and my headcanons for how things work.

though, there's one thing i really wonder about, and that's where cogs come from in ttcc exactly. in 'that' way though of course to keep things on the same rating as the game is i won't discuss anything explicit so don't worry. (besides they're robots and also are sexless to me, anything related to gender is purely cosmetic to them. you are usually assigned a certain expression when built though, but can change that later on. that's how i explain trans cogs.)

i think about how there are canonical families and children, and that they have "built" dates and places where they've been built. it's obvious as they're robots, they're not born they're built and made.

it's a bit difficult to explore with the limited info we have, which is kind of both an hassle to work with, but also beautiful because you can let your creativity go and make up your own headcanons, without things being set in too much canon. it's also difficult due to how different the suit culture is to us humans and also what we see from the toons which is by nature more familiar to us.

we also do not know much about suitopia, or other possible places where cogs live.

(i, personally, imagine suitopia as essentially a big country where most if not all cogs live. it has it's own regions, cities... all that. where as c.o.g.s. inc has built itself to be essentially it's own small country/community, if that makes sense. though cogs don't always only mention suitopia, at least once 'the whole world' is used. this is irrelevant tho so i won't discuss that but it's still a 'core' headcanon i have - as other things i may hc rely on this personal interpretation / headcanon.

but be aware i do not know everything is canon and can discuss things outside my realm of HCs and interpretations, but if i go deeper into like, let's say, analyzing a cog and imagining their backstory, instantly assume i'm using all these things. sorry for the side ramble, i want to make things clear for possible future reference.)

i wish it will be expanded upon slightly in the future, even a slightest crumb of what it's like out there and i can have a field day with it. i do enjoy the vagueness tho, again, as i've said we do not need to have all the information out there and it's not necessary to the main stories that are being told but MAN my brain itches for MORE. i demand EXPLANATIONS. and so i make up my own lol and i love that i can do that /gen (there's some stuff i do have an issue with that it was not explained better, but again, fixed that with hcs. talking abt atticus but im not getting into that rn)

there also may be things i am missing - i have known of ttcc's existence since it's early days, but i wasn't there for it and missed being there in person for any lore until i started playing for real in early 2023 and became a part of the community. like, there ARE things i have missed AND small details i am missing. that's one criticism i have about some info being more difficult to access now, but the main stuff is on the wiki an all luckily.

anyways that ramble out of the way... how the heck are cogs made? there's a few ways, that seem contradictory in some ways at first but i just see it as different methods.

we know cogs can change their appearances (their shell) and be "upgraded". we know cogs can even choose to be just their skelecogs (Atticus) and i suppose every other skelecog we see.) we know cogs have families and have their own kids. (cathal and bobby jr come to mind, and also belle's own kids and grandkids. not to mention, we have siblings too - thomas and robert. and their whole family drama DOES involve their unseen parents.) we know many cogs, mostly the managers, come into the company as their are - but also new parts are built, at least for the employee cogs in sellbot hq. (recently re-read the dialogue which confirmed this - literally as you're building your sellbot suit.)

we know cogs are more than just some working machines and do have deeper lives and desires and even relationships, though all instances of a parent/child relationship in ttcc have only one parent. makes sense after all they don't reproduce sexually to put it that way, again they're built and they're robots.)

it's easy to conclude, that, cogs are just built. which is true. but it just makes me wonder. we know they age. we have at least 1 cog who is a literal child, and bobby, in human years at least, looks no older than like, 8 years old. (we also don't know how cogs age. we also know cog's don't die like that, due to the whole deal with atticus. i will talk about this one day i have so many thoughts on it)

we know they grow up and even have schools - they're not programmed with everything. they earn experience as they live life and even have?? education systems? like they're more like people than we thought. (ttcc does make cogs more easily sympathized with and gives us INDIVIDUAL cogs and not just... 'The Cogs'. cogs are the focus of ttcc so of course they're developed more and are more 'human' despite being machines.)

so clearly, there's cogs like bobby. who are built young and eventually grow up. we have not seen a cog growing up yet, at least i don't think. but i wonder how that works. through cartoon logic, do they just grow up? their skelecog and perhaps their shell, too? or do they periodically get upgraded to be larger - wouldn't it make sense to built a cog as, well, an adult already? to program all these things? there may be more limits to this than we think, but also just... cultural things possibly.

the only cog CHILD (not just the child of someone - cathal's an adult. also, redd mention, but redd's adopted so he doesn't count) we ever see is bobby and, he is the child of robert, who is known to be very short. we don't know if bobby's going to grow up, or if this height is what he's just going to be like. we have one image where he's way smaller than robert, and other, more recent ones, where they're a similar heights. is that just art inconsistency due to the nature of all the (amazing) artwork being, well, volounteer work and that not everything is (or has to be) perfect? or did bobby really grow up. i'm talking about the wallet picture and the comics featuring bobby, by the way.

though, as things are, i'm sort of assuming that bobby's going to grow up or be upgraded in some way to "grow up"? i don't think we need an clear explanation for that, and in a universe like this 'cartoon logic' would be enough, but it's still something to think about.

like...how do cogs go about having kids, anyways? all instances we see are visually similar as well. cathal has the same gear for his neck as allan's body does, and they have the same head lightbulbs and wires. bobby jr and robert are both furniture.

i've always assumed that it's like in robots (the movie, that i havent watched in years which would be helpful for all this, probably.) if you decide to have a child just for the experience of raising a child, to have a legacy, or due to a bond with a partner - you literally just build one. perhaps not in the same way as in the movie - in here it definitely requires more paperwork and blueprints. but again, it's interesting to think about! hey company i want a CHILD. i look like this build them like me thanks here's some blueprints. (this also explains the amount of single parents. though belle has to have been married/is married as her honorific is listed as mrs. hey fun fact, non native english speaker here. i didnt know 'mrs' means a lady is married until like this year. i've been on this earth for 19 years.)

like the concept of family is possibly just more social there than anything. duh... can't exactly have the same oil and wires inside of you as Robots .

anyways, so that explains kids... but what about the others? some cogs don't have any families mentioned but it's not hard to assume they come from families with parents and siblings as well. what about the employee cogs? who are quite literally very disposable in a way?

we do have to take into account that after all, employee cogs we see just on and about on the streets are mostly a game mechanic, and there are some individual cogs who ARE cogs who would typically be employees cogs. (jennifer comes to mind first, she's a micromanager but also a secretary and counts as a manager. same goes for judy and so forth.)

and y'know, the game won't have a personality and backstory for each random flunky on the streets you fight. but with often they get destroyed and repaired and that there's just... so many of them! of the same model and appearance... makes you think. is that why they were made? are they truly more robotic than the others, more devoid of 'humanity'? or were they different cogs, perhaps more lower class, who's appearances were changed entirely to fit into more easily fixable and replaceable shell forms? something that's less expensive for the company and for them? i swear i am missing some details on this, but that's for me to re read the wiki and cogs ink for on my own later. (i need to have full info n everything and if i dont bring up that i know one small detail i will explode bc someone will bring it up and make me feel dumb and that's the rsd part and it's often physically painful!)

very hard to tell, i'm sort of content with my thoughts on how cogs have kids, but i hope we ever get a bit more clarity on employee cogs - though it is a bit problematic as these are the guys you beat up on the daily who don't have individual personalities.

like i'm just rambling as i go here man, it was gonna be cohesive but i'm just spitting thoughts here now. like, we have 3 seperate skelecog types - all cogs come with a skelecog like we have a skeleton so that also comes into play. it can be adjusted in ways, most notably the head and also in size. though we do have a 4 arm cog. jason please i love you /p we need more jason content. it's wacky, it's tacky - it's toontown!

fun stuff to think about but i just deep fried my brain. tdlr i guess.

how cogs made. how cogs have kids. how cogs work in general. very swag very cool. guzma cathal spades spamtongender goes on 1568854 different tangents while saying they wont aka your swagesty your adhd symptoms are showing

that's it fellas enjoy 2k words of incomprehensible rambles that i am happy to finally get out! you see the way i explain things is precisely why i almost never do it publicly and i need practice shortening things.

[fallowhearth]

David Graeber and David Wengrow, The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity, 2021

This is not a review. It will probably be a bit of a ramble about my approach to reading history and thinking through why I bounced off this so many times. This is also about letting myself off the hook - I'm going to let this one remain unfinished. I don't need to finish reading it.

After I dropped out of grad school (highly recommended), it took me a good few years to be able to stomach picking up a history book again. But, I do really enjoy the discipline. There's a reason I wanted to do it as a career. I eventually found a way back in - from YouTube video essays, to a few podcasts, to reading history from outside my field. I had the most success with ancient/pre-modern histories; obligatory Tides of History plug as I've loved all the deep dives into genetic history and archaeology (and gotten quite a few great book recommendations). I don't have any particular knowledge in these fields, I don't have the language skills or context to interpret sources myself, I've never even taken an ancient history course. So reading these I have no option but to basically rely on the expertise of the historian, to see what they say about various topics and about each other. It's the opportunity to read history like a layperson, and hey, it's pretty interesting!

On the one hand, Dawn is engagingly written - I'd call it kind of magazine style? - and tells a compelling story. But, the whole time I'm wondering, but is any of it true?

My impulse when reading something from within my area of academic expertise is to go and take a look at some of the sources myself. It's always a useful sense-check; it's due diligence. History is by its nature kind of subjective. Historians don't just deal in lonely facts (to paraphrase someone whose name escapes me), but in interpretation and argumentation. Everything has been passed through several human filters before a historian even looks at it. So, in a room full of historians you respect, you can have a lively, contentious discussion where no two people have quite the same reading of the source. There's a skill you pick up after a while - you get a sense for the range of defensible interpretations of a particular piece of evidence. You'll feel more affinity for part of that range, based on the things you believe about how the world works, your particular axe to grind, other things you've read, niche academic beef, etc.

I'm confident I've read at least a few of the sources Dawn uses, and I've definitely read within adjacent bodies of sources. So, I have an incredibly strong need to go and take a look at the specific things they're basing their argument on. I trust my own judgement; I want to establish that range of defensible interpretations, I want to see what readings I'd pull out first, I want to see what the distance is between Dawn's point on that range and mine. The problem is that I can't. Even if I wanted to dive back into the archive, I literally don't have any of the institutional accesses that would allow me to. Also I really don't want to. So I'm constantly feeling this itch I can't scratch at the back of my mind while reading Graeber and Wengrow's work.

The broad version of Dawn's thesis is something like: 'humans have experimented with diverse ways to live and organise their societies across space and time, in ways that are not accommodated by the teleological models developed within the colonial context'. I'd say, yeah, I pretty much agree with that! (In fact it's a thesis I'd love to nail to the doors of many popular history writers.) But I get the same sense reading Dawn as I did reading various provocative works of global history (many of which I really like): the broad thesis is generally defensible, but it falls apart on the page-to-page level. Of course I can't actually confirm this since, well, I haven't done my due diligence!

[leiflitter]

Got my arse in gear for this + fun lil blurbs under the cut for REASONS. I haven't used the best friends because Els' general baseline friendship is pretty intense anyways so they'd all be best friends if she had her way. This may get long but hey! That's life!

Gale - Els has no idea who he is when she hauls him out of that portal. Literally. Word of his wizarding skill has not reached her particular demographic, and so she just assumes he's some sort of minor noble or possibly an elected official- because who introduces themselves as So-and-so of Such-a-place if they aren't?

However, this is probably a good thing. If Els had known about his past, she'd probably have been a little more deferential- not necessarily out of respect, but because that's what she's learned that people of that station want.

Gale, of course, has spent his entire formative years in the company of people who see him as Gale the Wizard, not Gale the Person- and although he's been to a few rough taverns in his time, that's very different from actual prolonged exposure to someone who comes from such a different background. Els' forthright attitude and general lack of simpering about magic are both a novel experience and a breath of fresh air.

He's also intrigued by her, but initially assumes that she has some hitherto-unknown power that makes her so persuasive and compelling. Because he is oblivious and probably hasn't ever had a normal crush on someone, so it's absolutely mysterious as fuck.

Els, on the other hand, has just honed her observation skills through necessity- but on her part, she thought there was something about him the moment he got to his feet and started rambling about ceremorphosis. Their forays into friendship cemented that, yes, she is going to be absolutely heartsick over him- and life is short! They have tadpoles in their heads! Life has put them on a level playing field, and if she's going to turn into a mindflayer she may as well go for it.

Despite their differences, they share a love for knowledge. Els is illiterate, but is a bard in the most archaic sense- she knows so many stories that may have never been put to paper. Gale's knowledge comes from hours of study, but he's in sore need of practical knowledge and someone to give him a nudge when he gets in too deep.

Gale teaches Els to read, and Els teaches Gale to put down the books from time to time and go outside. The perfect Autism/ADHD combo, honestly.

Halsin - why is it complicated? Well, mostly because they have a few crossed wires.

Halsin's... well. He's used to being an authority figure, and he's been through it. Due to this he defaults to what he finds comfortable- assuming that his and Els' connection is due to physical attraction. Yes, he can see that she's making eyes at Gale, but in the grand scheme of things that doesn't mean much.

Els, on the other hand, looks at Halsin and sees her father. A stoic man, connected to nature and put in a position of responsibility that he must bear alone. She can't help but treat him with the affection she holds for her father, and that leads to a... fairly awkward conversation at a later date.

Still, despite the initial disappointment, it helps Halsin move on a little- and, with hindsight, it would not have worked in any way, shape or form. For one, Halsin's too old for Els- he knows himself too well for them to develop as a pair. Also, he's absolutely huge and she's short and scrawny. She would die.

After it's over, she will absolutely be dropping in on him regularly with new wood for him to whittle into ducks, and maybe he'll have a spot in whatever enclave for an old woodcutter who can't cut down any more trees. I think Halsin and Els' dad would be great friends, honestly. I can imagine them watching her set out on her way home, both with that quiet nod of "that's my girl."

Astarion - Els has played for his type more times than she can count, and he doesn't scare her. Honestly, she mostly finds him hilarious- his ascerbic wit and general sarcasm are a great foil for her blunt nature.

He's also one of the few folk in camp who can read people the way she does- and he has valuable insights into the way the upper crust live. She absolutely turns to him for advice about Gale before she fully decides to go for it- "is there some etiquette for telling someone that you're up for it if they are?"

Gale also goes to him for advice, which honestly tickles Astarion to no end.

Els is valuable to Astarion because she sees through his posturing and absolutely will call him out on his shit. She's the conscience that he never really wanted, so it does help that he can make snarky comments about how she needs to brush her hair from time to time. He feels protective over her, but wouldn't admit it- if someone was to hurt her, he would absolutely hunt them down, but he'd be pretending it was all pure coincidence the entire time.

Karlach - these two are trouble. They cannot be left alone because that is how shenanigans begin, and shenanigans lead to their stock of healing portions being sorely depleted.

They easily fall into a sibling-type bond nearly as soon as they meet- and while it's fun, it can also lead to some very childish squabbles- although, it must be said, even the squabbles are undertaken in puppyish glee. It's far calmer for everyone when they can play-fight- although it's a little alarming the first time Karlach has Els in a headlock, they're fairly evenly matched. Karlach is strong, but Els is agile.

They have deep 3am conversations, keep each other's little secrets, and absolutely annoy everyone else at bedtime when one of them goes, "imagine if we were all frogs right now."

Shadowheart - Shadowheart would like to think that she's the 'sensible one'. Els would absolutely disagree with that. Shadowheart is just better at hiding how silly she actually is, and Els delights in luring her a little more out of her shell each time.

Els likes Shadowheart aggressively. She can sense that there's something in her that's at odds with all of her Cool Collected Shar Worship, and Els cannot leave it alone. To her, Shadowheart is like a wobbly tooth- she knows she shouldn't touch it, but she can't help it!

Shadowheart initally is being pragmatic. Els has the people skills that she lacks, and if she's to get back to Baldur's Gate she needs help. Unfortunately, she keeps bonding with the help, and it's inconvenient, and now she's half-heartedly complaining about Els and Karlach splashing when she's trying to wash her hair, can you two please stop acting like children? But she's smiling when she says it.

Wyll - now, Els has heard of The Blade of Frontiers. She's sung a fair few ballads about him, and absolutely has weaponised that against him. It's also probably why she doesn't consider him a romantic prospect- she wants to carve her own legend, not turn into an accessory to another. Wyll, for his part, isn't immune to Els' natural rizz, but I think it'd be a momentary wobble. He probably considered it for an instant, then was immediately hit with the realisation that nope, he doesn't like her like that. Like when you have a romantic dream about a friend, and wake up going "... what???? No????"

Els and Wyll aren't quite at the sibling tier that Karlach and Els are at- they're more like the two kids who compete to be top of the class, but would be at a loss without each other. If they're in the party together, there will inevitably be a discussion of who did the most impressive feat once they're back in camp.

Els normally wins, because she's a bard and as such can brag at an Olympic level, but it's all in good fun- and she's secretly putting together a new epic poem about The Blade's Adventures with The Bard.

He's a good egg, and Els absolutely sneaks him unflattering doodles of Mizora.

Lae'Zel - They butt heads constantly. Especially early on- Els may be blunt, but Lae'Zel takes it to an entirely different level- while Els is plain spoken to her friends, she also knows how to turn on her negotiator skills for the world at large. Lae'Zel's idea of negotiation is that she won't immediately kill whoever she's speaking to.

It initially annoys Lae'Zel that Els just... takes charge of the party, as if there isn't a highly trained warrior and tactician right here who would be a far better option! Then, when she realises that Els is surprisingly capable, her next thought is to see if she can best her in the bedroom- and Els politely turns her down? Inconceivable.

On Els' part, Lae'Zel is like a big, growling dog- initially intimidating, but upon a second glance she can see that the growling isn't mere hostility. It's fear. The true turning point from Els' perspective is when Lae'Zel says teethling- she talks a big game, but she's mostly bark, and Els can talk her down from biting easily.

Jaheira - Els never knew her mother, but if she could choose a replacement, it'd be Jaheira. She's an aspirational figure to Els- it stops them getting close, as Els isn't used to being starstruck, but there's a kind of yearning on Els' side for an older female role model, and although Jaheira doesn't openly take that position on, perhaps she tells Els she's doing well a little more than she might otherwise.

If Jaheira had been around since day 1, they'd probably be closer, but as she isn't... it's more like having a really cool coworker who you want to befriend but have to muster up the courage to approach.

[delta-queerdrant]

Neelix, I need another pot of coffee (Prototype, s2 e13 & Dreadnought, s2 e17)

I don't have much substantial to say about "Prototype" or "Dreadnought," two enjoyable robot-of-the-week episodes that center on Torres delivering compelling technobabble to a machine for 45 minutes. They are both extremely watchable, and "Protoype" especially worked for me with its first contact moral quandary premise, which felt straight out of pulp science fiction in the best way. And who doesn't love an android who looks like they shop at LL Bean?

So instead this is going to be a meditation on science fiction depictions of women in STEM, and why they seem to be so deeply lodged in my psyche.

The first adult novel I ever bought was Contact by Carl Sagan. This was at my middle school's Scholastic book fair. When I think about my twelve-year-old self I immediately remember that mass-market paperback, which in some hard-to-pin-down way summed up all my aspirations for my future adult life.

I'd encountered Contact as a hardcover book at a relative's house a year or two earlier. For those not in the know, it follows an astronomer who detects a first contact transmission. The book spends a lot of time imagining the political and social impacts of discovering extraterrestrial life, as well as the challenges Ellie Arroway faces as a woman in her field.

In the space of a weekend, I raced through the book but didn't have time to finish it. Soon after, the film came out, and I saw it in theaters. It was a movie that felt like it had been made specifically for me (aliens! science mysteries! an extremely hot Jodie Foster!)

My relationship with science and STEM is contradictory. As a kid growing up watching Star Trek and reading Madeleine L'Engle (shout-out to my other formative science girl, Meg Murry), I was so hungry to learn more about astronomy, programming, math, and electronics, but I never seemed to get my hands on those opportunities. This was before "STEM" was popularized as an acronym, and casual opportunities to be a kid science nerd were slim. At the same time, it was the "post-feminist" 90s, and I was never particularly conscious of being excluded from the sciences due to my gender.

As I grew older, my main STEM interests were web design (as evidenced by many lovingly hand-coded early-2000s websites) and microbiology (I am still filled with rapture whenever I contemplate protein synthesis). I also harbored a deep and all-encompassing love for the Museum of Science in Boston. But my career aspects were mostly in the humanities or social sciences, and I never got around to taking a formal programming class. As I became an adult, I stopped running Linux on my laptop or freaking people out at work with my DVORAK keyboard setup. I drifted away from a conception of myself as that kind of nerd.

It's natural for interests to shift as we age, but something about this particular transition felt devastatingly final to me. STEM is a closed world that doesn't welcome casual interest. There is almost no space for adult women to dabble in a STEM hobby. Science museums are for children, and popular nonfiction about physics and math are, implicitly, for men. (Earlier this month I watched some Youtube videos about astronomy, and immediately started seeing gun advertisements.)

I sometimes think that what I enjoyed as a kid was the aesthetic of science - in other words, the reason we consume science fiction in the first place. Why do we love a science girl? For me this attraction feels very extremely gay, though others' mileage may vary. "Scientist" is, yes, traditionally a male-coded role, but to young me, it felt like a means to escape gender roles entirely. Science girls and science queers are smart and curious and independent; they are hungry for adventure and have no time for your societal expectations.

When Voyager came out, there were virtually no shows that featured multiple women working in the sciences (outside of medical shows). But for me, a kid reading and watching science fiction, it was normal. Roxann Dawson complained that most of her episodes in early Voyager are her alone in a room talking to a robot/missile/herself, but she's very good at it! The troubleshooting scenes feel lived-in and naturalistic, especially in the way they portray her satisfaction from solving a technical problem. She's so tickled with herself when she achieves a breakthrough! I felt similarly when I mastered the art of inline CSS in the year 1999.

Science fiction that accurately portrays the experience of working with technology is rare, and to be clear, Star Trek doesn't always bother. But Voyager seems genuinely interested in dramatizing problem-solving and collaboration skills - scientist as something you do, not something you are.

I still use my computer skills at my day job, and while I don't work in the sciences, I like to think that the way I move through the world owes something to all the hours I spent as a kid imagining myself into starships and astronomical observatories.

And with that, I'm off to watch some more videos about the twin paradox.

4/5 power modules.

[chrenvs3000w24]

Science in Nature Interpretation

Even though there is no prompt for this weeks blog posts, I felt that the title of the unit resonated with me. Science has always been a major passion of mine, and science is likely one of the most common mediums for nature interpretation. There are many different fields of scientific discovery fully focused on the natural world, such as ecology, zoology, botany and more. Even anthropology has roots in different natural environments, where a anthropologist must acknowledge the environment a culture grows in. As there are so many different fields, an important aspect of science must be to maintain a consistent nomenclature of understanding. Names of things must be the same regardless of field, so that when a scientist or anyone for that matter reads a paper, they can immediately distinguish what they are talking about. Their is an elegance to this work, differing fields each have their own societies of experts that decide on the proper names. Almost all of these fields follow some kind of Linnaean classification, which follows a hierarchy of levels of relatedness. This allows for the very large pool of plants, animals, and fungi alike to be classified efficiently. However, this wasn't always the case. Taxonomy, or the study of classification could be considered one of the oldest forms of science. It was first practiced by Aristotle, who separated living things into two categories, plants and animals. This classification was taken and advanced by his students, to give us more and more in depth analysis of their anatomies and histories. Some used these classifications to prop up and put down certain species, claiming some more primitive than others. This shows something that is very common throughout human history, it is almost human nature to classify everything into various categories and boxes. We saw this in the privilege section of the blog, where some people can be looked over due to preconceived boxes we have put them in. But these boxes are usually surface level, there is commonly much more to get the whole picture. One such example is from the TED talk "for the Love of Birds", where Washington Wachira highlights the many differences of feathermakers. He mentions that only one class of animals on earth can make feathers, birds. But as the talk continues, he goes over the many ways that birds are different. From the vulture to the bald eagle to the guinea fowl to the penguin, all of these animals are within the same bird classification, and yet all of them are majorly different. This brings me back to my main love of science, as it cannot always be interpreted the same way. In the way that science wants to classify things into categories, those categories cannot always be the same for everyone. The take home message from this idea, is that the scientific lens will not always hold the correct interpretation of nature, and it is important to constantly be thinking outside of the boxes.

[charlotte-of-wales]

With all due respect, to the anon who thinks Earthshot is a joke, hypocrite and elitist award, they must be an outsider looking in (which is fair). But let me explain why I disagree with that assessment.

I have a career as sustainable development officer for 15 years, that means I implement sustainable development programs (waste water management, agriculture engineering, environment management, etc) from start to finish. As did my father before me, he has long career as sustainable development officer and has implemented programs in remote parts of our country. He was one of our former President’s advisor when we want to build Aceh (in a sustainable way) from the ground up after the tsunami.

Naturally we follow Earthshot as closely from the beginning, because it’s related to our field of work. We were delighted and very proud when he chose Melati Wijsen, a young woman from our country as one of Earthshot Board. We read and research everytime they announce the finalist, and I have to say, those finalists are the real deal (in environmental world), they will definitely make a tangible impact towards climate change.

And to the criticism that Earthshot is hypocrite and elitist. Or it’s just a vanity project etc, my father and I are field workers, always have been. That’s why we’re pragmatic. In a state of emergency, we never turn down charity for politician or big corporate. When you’re in a ground zero after massive earthquake, you can’t refused help from (let’s say) Jeff Bezos.

What would happen if I say “oh, this food is from Jeff Bezos? He’s always fly private doesn’t he? Pass” and I would argue that with climate change, we’re in a state of emergency, so I’ll take all the help I can get, thanks very much.

The world is not black and white, would it be amazing if politician and big corporations have a heart of gold and maintain their values? Absolutely. But we don’t live in utopia, alas. In the mean time, we all do what we can for climate change, including William.

I appreciate your point of view, but the criticism was never on the finalists and I think we can all agree that the work the finalists are doing is amazing. It's about having celebrities fly around the globe to attend an award that champions environmental causes.

[res-a-new-and-worse-sungod]

Especially the reblog with: >>i asked what they thought women wore to work outside before the mid twentieth century, and they told me “women didn’t work outside then.  they stayed in the house all the time.”<< sparked my interest.

The Idea of women only working in the house is a very interesting point. Because the strict gender Rolls that locked women of the Bourgeoisie into the house very much only became that strict during the early modern period.

Gender Spheres were not as strictly seperated before, but in the 19th century the concept of a household "ganzes Haus", bound women into the private sphere, while men were of the public, which only worked due to the inequality of rights between the genders. That also came with a change in the conception of which "nature" the different genders have.

Interesting in that context is also the idea of Virago in the renaissance, that shows that the perceived gender wasnt quite bound to sex, but to the actions and clothing a person did/wore (Iam very surface level read in that specific point so I cant tell how exactly it applied)

Before that women working in the field (Examples are in the paintings of earlier reblogs) or even leading their own Taverns (the development of stricter gender norms in tavern and Brewery industries is highly researched, thats why I bring that example) wasnt that rare.

The strong distinction of gender spheres is very much a problem (probably "problem" is not the best word here but I cant find a better one) of the emerging Bourgeois Class too. Women of the nobility had political influence, they were in much of Europe not allowed to attain full power over a region, but could act as regents and had part of the political discourse of their respective regions. Therefore the distinction is as much a class distinction as a gender distinction. Young women of the lower class for example often had to work as maids to earn their dowrie and had to work wage jobs outside the (physical space of the) house after marriage.

Feminist fantasy is funny sometimes in how much it wants to shit on femininity for no goddamned reason. Like the whole “skirts are tools of the patriarchy made to cripple women into immobility, breeches are much better” thing.

(Let’s get it straight: Most societies over history have defaulted to skirts for everyone because you don’t have to take anything off to relieve yourself, you just have to squat down or lift your skirts and go. The main advantage of bifurcated garments is they make it easier to ride horses. But Western men wear pants so women wearing pants has become ~the universal symbol of gender equality~)

The book I’m reading literally just had its medievalesque heroine declare that peasant women wear breeches to work in the field because “You can’t swing a scythe in a skirt!”

Hm yes story checks out

peasant women definitely never did farm labour in skirts

skirts definitely mean you’re weak and fragile and can’t accomplish anything

skirts are definitely bad and will keep you from truly living life

no skirts for anyone, that’s definitely the moral of the story here

[starlight-time-machine]

Week in Review

08/18/2024 – 08/24/2024

Sunday

Week 28 of missing Cipher Academy

UNDEAD UNLUCK PEAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK Ruin coming back to ruin the day is another callback moment, but it’s so gratifying to see Fuuko react entirely different this time around – it really shows just how much she’s grown. In general, Fuuko’s just so kickass in this chapter…AND THE TITLE DROP WITH ANDY COMING BACK AHHHHHHHHHHH

SpyFam was literally a nothing chapter lol not to be a slice of life complainer but. Even the slice of life elements of it weren’t interesting to read.

Nui ni Koishite ii Desu ka?: I haven’t read a lot of straight romance manga…I’m just not big into the genre, I think… But I felt strangely compelled by this one when I saw a plot description on Twitter, and I surprisingly really enjoyed reading it. I think I just like romances where the main leads are forced into a situation where they have to help each other out/keep a mutual secret (such as Fruits Basket). I like the comedy that arises from their absurd situation, I like that the girl is a little unsettling about her love of plushies, and I like that due to the nature of the curse, the guy has to be invested in making the girl happy. God, if this manga had come out like ten years ago, it would’ve gotten the 60 chapter run it deserved rather than the rushed 2 volume run we got here… The romance progressed quickly, which was nice, but I would’ve really loved to see them either develop the romantic build up more or explore their life as a couple afterwards, especially in regards to each other’s families (we haven’t seen the girl’s family at all)… I haven’t read the ending yet so there’s still a bit to go, but I mourn for what could have been. Now I’m gonna have to be the weirdo championing for this shoujo manga that literally like only ten people outside of Japan have read…

Monday

Umm

Tuesday

REVUE STARLIGHT EL DORADO HAS FINALLY ARRIVED I have work to do but I couldn’t help myself and played through a route…the Kaoruko and Maya route is sooo funny and cute, and seeing Ayasa reach new heights in her voice acting as Salvatore was a real highlight. I was, admittedly, a little disappointed in the overarching story: I was hoping Judy would be more of a menace like they were priming her to be, and I can’t believe they didn’t even show us the KaoMaya corporate bonding retreat… The most this route did was give Class B more of a spotlight, but even then they were kind of just reaffirming their intentions without going through much of a real arc. El Dorado was fun, and the music was great, but it being truncated also left me wanting more. (And this is unfair to El Dorado, but Salvatore’s backstory was so similar to Ouyang’s from She Who Became the Sun that I was expecting a similar arc trajectory, only to be somewhat let down when it wasn’t as brutal as SWBTS lol. But maybe that’ll be different in the full version of El Dorado.)

Watched the Make Some Noise episode with Brennan, Jacob, and Lou and goddd it was so funny. The three of them have great energy together.

Wednesday

Umm

Thursday

Read through both volumes of Until I Love Myself, and it was a pretty well told and moving memoir. I appreciated the care that the mangaka put towards depicting the differences in other people’s experiences and how they may have gaps in their own knowledge, but their commitment to connecting with others is inspiring to see. I would give it a 7/10 overall.

Friday

I picked up Potion Permit again. I had bought it in like 2023 and played the shit out of it, but seeing that the dev team was still constantly pushing out pretty major updates, I wanted to wait until it was more complete to play it again. Fast forward to now, where my friend got Fields of Mistria on early access and streamed it to me because I was also interested in the game…it’s cute looking, but I think the issue with a lot of indie games is that their art direction is gorgeous but their writing suffers. And considering how I only play farming sims if there’s a Love Interest I want to date, and how none of Mistria’s options really interest me right now (and the lack of multiplayer)…I probably won’t pick it up in the future. But seeing the various items you can collect and running around doing tasks made me nostalgic for Potion Permit, hence the return of my potion madness. More on it when this gaming binge session ends.

Saturday

Potion Permit’s got me in a vice grip. It’s undeniably a mediocre game, but there’s something about it that really compels me. People have called it grindy and unfinished, and that much is true, but I love grinding the resources and fighting the creatures and doing my little tasks around town in the most efficient way possible and levelling up my bonds with the villagers. I think I just like the conceit of being an apothecary more than being a farmer – I love making potions and supplying them and doing little puzzles as a break away from the regular gameplay. Writing wise it definitely struggles a little, as most of the bond stories aren’t that deep or engaging (Matheo’s romance path is like the only one that has any real chemistry). I feel like there’s an outline of a personality for each character, but their dialogue writing just doesn’t do those personalities justice (the writing voices aren’t strong, and sometimes there are grammatical oddities that make things sound off). Also there’s just way too many characters. Did we really need two sets of “doubles”? And have all four of their names start with D??? Despite of all my gripes, however, I can get sucked into playing this game for hours on end…I’m probably going to go until I max rank everyone’s bond levels and then consider the game complete lol. 7/10.

[aangussca]

Artist Statement: Organic Space (2024)

The basis of this installation project was to create an immersive installation around soundscape ecology. Soundscape ecology is the study of sounds and how they interact within various landscapes. Typically focusing on sounds from the natural landscape, it also encompasses the built, digital, musical, and physiological environments.

Two primary goals are attached to this project:

Visualising biophonic* and geophonic** sounds within terrestrial environments

Merging digital music tracks (anthropophony***) with the biophony/geophony, as music tends to be inspired by the natural world.

* Biophonic: Sounds made by non-human organisms.

**Geophonic: Sounds made by non-biological natural phenomenon (weather, water, geological processes, etc.).

***Anthropophony: Sounds made by humans (music, technology, speech, human physiology, etc.).

My film-sound work follows a ‘narrative sequence’ between ‘aquatic’ and ‘terrestrial’ soundscapes.

The soundscapes are composed of sounds I took on field recordings throughout March and April, with a few exceptions of pre-recorded material outside of those field recordings (detailed below), alongside a single digital instrumental track.

‘Aquatic’ soundscape used a hydrophone and a Zoom recorder on trips to the Berry Island reserve and Balmoral Beach, with additional recordings of the underwater environment around Lizard Island (July 2019).

‘Terrestrial’ soundscape only used a Zoom recorder on trips to the Harold Reid reserve, with two additional recordings of bird calls (one of a kookaburra from December 2023 and another of a rainbow lorikeet from May 2024).

The frame-by-frame animations were created in Procreate, using different colours and textures to pair with each ‘layer’ of each soundscape (specified in the documentation linked below).

Most of my research primarily came from literature and field recordings.

The concept of soundscape ecology was initially inspired by Caspar Henderson’s A Book of Noises: Notes on the Auraculous and the sound-based installation works of Bernie Krause, Jónsi, and SoniaFalcone.

As I was developing the animations and figuring out how to install the final projection, I also read the chapter “Subjective Vision and the Separation of the Senses” from Johnathan Crary’s Techniques of the observer: on vision and modernity in the 19th century.

Link to full research and process documentation (look under the tag #year 3 art studio project 1): www.tumblr.com/aangussca

Reflection:

I feel this was one of my most refined works with my approaches to animation, installation, and sound editing. However, I cannot ignore the aspects that were scrapped or changed throughout my process.

I planned to have a much longer, looped experience visualising three soundscapes. The third soundscape was physiological anthrophony, or sounds in the body, which I scrapped due to both time constraints and my realisation that it would not have been cohesive. On top of that, the final film is a total of ~4 mins as opposed to the ~15 mins originally planned (~5 mins per soundscape). That way, audiences continued to be invested in both the soundscape segments of my work. My tutor, Jane Gavan agreed that focusing more on a shorter, experiential ‘narrative sequence’ was the best decision.

I also planned to have a far more complex approach to installation (see original diagrams in my documentation), but that was changed due to the following:

The design of my chosen installation space (the original idea was changed drastically due to being deemed impractical for the space and resources I had), which is something I will consider in the future.

The convenience of the audience (i.e. Will all of them want to lie down/look up at the projection or would some just want to look at the projection while sitting/standing normally? Do some of them want to walk around and look at the work three-dimensionally?).

While detailed, the visual studies for my animation proved to be difficult when translating them effectively into the initial animation tests (which I felt were incredibly rudimentary and limiting). While I continued the idea of pairing colours/textures with sounds from these tests, I later opted for more fluid individual animations layered on top of each other. Upon reflection, I may experiment further with the texture and fluidity of these animations (perhaps to create an ‘animation bank’ in the same way as I have made a ‘sound bank’).

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Week 4: Part One

Hello everyone, this is going to be a bit of a shorter blog, but there is a reason for it. So basically, my friends and I have planned out this massive trip this upcoming weekend, I won’t say where, and I’ve decided the entirety of my next blog post just for that trip. It may be the biggest blog post that I will be writing, so get excited for that! I am planning on releasing that Monday evening.

So far this week, I have made a lot of progress in my robotics programming lab. At this point, we have built up the foundation as for how the robot will work and how it will autonomously balance itself. The last step right now that I am working on is to actually implement it into code and test it. While it has been difficult at times, especially since I am still somewhat inexperienced when it comes to robotics and linear algebra, I have learned a lot. For example, I just created my own Kalman Filter, which is a technique used in robotics that basically predicts what the robot will do in the future, given its current status. I have learned so much and can’t wait to show off the final result!

Outside of class, my friends and I have continued to explore Berlin more. On Monday, we paid a visit to the Bundestag Reichstag Building. This government building houses the Federal Convention, similar to the USA’s election, as well as lots of government offices and conference rooms. During my tour, I was able to walk through the iconic glass dome on the top and learned a lot about what made up the Berlin skyline as well as some history as for how the buildings became what they are today. It was a great time and offered some great views of downtown Berlin.

From the Reichstag Building, we could also see Teufelsberg (The Devil’s Mountain), which is where we went next. Teufelsberg, which was an old American listening station during the Berlin Wall era, has now been renovated by some of the most talented Graffiti artists in Germany into a graffiti art exhibit. At the top, stood the eye-catching white domes, which were very echoey and very cool to visit. That same day, we hit up Drachensberg, not without some sightseeing along the way, to view the sunset.  Drachensbery was this massive grass mesa which was so unique that my friends and I couldn’t help but go check it out. Today was a nature-filled fun exploration day to offer a different perspective of the hustle and bustle of downtown Berlin. Did I mention that today offered some of the best views of the city? Take a look for yourself.

Even with all of these excursions happening, we always found time for a pickup game of soccer. Due to the fact that it was raining and having to play on a grass field where the footing was virtually non-existent, you can imagine that it brought on a ton of slips, falls, eating a face full of dirt, but most importantly, a whole lot of fun. We completely lost track of time and before we knew it, we had been playing for around 2 hours! Even though everyone was drenched and tired, everyone left in a great mood as it was some of the most fun we had had hanging out as a group. 

This week has been so much fun already and I can’t wait for the weekend to roll by. With that being said, I hope everyone who’s reading this is having a wonderful day and I’ll see you all on Monday. Auf Wiedersehen!

Dervin Tian

Data Science

IPE: Engineering Laboratory Experience at TUB in Berlin

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Field Day 2024 Outside Activities SVG - Teacher Kids Gifts SVG PNG, Cricut File

Field Day 2024 Outside Activities SVG, Teacher Kids Gifts SVG PNG EPS DXF PDF, Cricut File, Instant Download File, Cricut File Silhouette Art, Logo Design, Designs For Shirts. ♥ Welcome to SVG OCEAN DESIGNS Store! ♥ ► PLEASE NOTE: – Since this item is digital, no physical product will be sent to you. – Your files will be ready to download immediately after your purchase. Once payment has been completed, SVG Ocean Designs will send you an email letting you know your File is ready for Download. You may also check your Order/Purchase History on SVG Ocean Designs website and it should be available for download there as well. – Please make sure you have the right software required and knowledge to use this graphic before making your purchase. – Due to monitor differences and your printer settings, the actual colors of your printed product may vary slightly. – Due to the digital nature of this listing, there are “no refunds or exchanges”. – If you have a specific Design you would like made, just message me! I will be more than glad to create a Custom Oder for you. ► YOU RECEIVE: This listing includes a zip file with the following formats: – SVG File (check your software to confirm it is compatible with your machine): Includes wording in both white and black (SVG only). Other files are black wording. – PNG File: PNG High Resolution 300 dpi Clipart (transparent background – resize smaller and slightly larger without loss of quality). – DXF: high resolution, perfect for print and many more. – EPS: high resolution, perfect for print, Design and many more. ► USAGE: – Can be used with Cricut Design Space, Silhouette Cameo, Silhouette Studio, Adobe Illustrator, ...and any other software or machines that work with SVG/PNG files. Please make sure your machine and software are compatible before purchasing. – You can edit, resize and change colors in any vector or cutting software like Inkscape, Adobe illustrator, Cricut design space, etc. SVG cut files are perfect for all your DIY projects or handmade business Product. You can use them for T-shirts, scrapbooks, wall vinyls, stickers, invitations cards, web and more!!! Perfect for T-shirts, iron-ons, mugs, printables, card making, scrapbooking, etc. ►TERMS OF USE: – NO refunds on digital products. Please contact me if you experience any problems with the purchase. – Watermark and wood background won’t be shown in the downloaded files. – Please DO NOT resell, distribute, share, copy, or reproduce my designs. – Customer service and satisfaction is our top priority. If you have any questions before placing orders, please contact with us via email "support@svgoceandesigns.com". – New products and latest trends =>> Click Here . Thank you so much for visiting our store! SVG OCEAN DESIGNS Read the full article