#i have to mentally prepare myself for all the bullshit i’ll see before opening the comments of a pin that has any other casting

[jadelemonadee]

how it feels to yell at pinterest comments from four years ago calling any cast of hamilton that isn’t with the exact obc actors + casting “fakes”

[patscorner]

CHAPTER ONE: BUY-IN

pairings: paige x oc

contains: pining, angst

word count: 2,575

a/n: okay, one chapter in. let me know what you guys think, my inbox is open. also let me know what you might like to see, the outline isn't set in stone. school has started so it might be a bit before the next chapter, but it's coming. enjoy!

My palms sweat as I dial the familiar number, one I’d memorized by heart. It’d been far too long since I’d called her, and I don’t really have a reason, so the bullshit ‘I’ve been busy’ excuse will just have to do.

=======================

JUNE 2023

“Hello?”

I clear my throat in an attempt to swallow the lump that magically appeared. “H-Hey, Azzi, uh-it’s CJ.”

“Who?” My heart dropped to my shoes as my brain scrambled to pick up the pieces of one word.

“I-uh..”

Azzi chuckles. “I’m just messing with you. What’d you need?” I let out a breath as I rub my head.

“Oh my god, I actually hate you, holy shit.” I laugh.

“Apparently, since it’s been, what, like three months since we’ve talked.” I could practically hear the eye roll.

It’s really not fair for me to ignore Azzi because, really, she hadn’t done anything but be my best friend.

Our best friend.

And maybe that our was the problem. Maybe that combination, the unity of the word, and everything behind it was a mistake. Maybe, letting her etch herself into the scrolls of my heart, so much so that the ink bled together. Maybe the missed cue of when mine became hers, and hers became ours, was poor oversight.

Maybe letting Azzi become collateral damage was where me and her went wrong.

I laugh it off, ignoring the pang it sends to my chest.

“Yeah, well, I have to mentally prepare myself to lose brain cells. Can’t let it fuck up my game.” I respond, earning a laugh from the brown-haired girl. There’s nothing like the nostalgia a sound can bring you. The memories and feelings, all hidden behind a single noise.

After she gathers herself, she sighs. “So what’s up?”

And suddenly, I remember why I’d called.

“Yeah, uh, there’s something I kinda wanted to talk to you about, before you hear it somewhere else..” I say, picking at my earlobe nervously.

“Ooookay… Is everything okay..?” her voice relaying softer through the phone.

I nod. “Yeah, it’s nothing bad. Or, at least, I don’t think..” I fall silent for a moment. This couldn’t be as bad as I’m making it seem, right? Right?

“Either way, I’d just rather talk about it in person.”

Azzi hums. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. Where do you want to meet?” I consider my options. I’m only in Minnesota to visit my family for about a week, and it’d take another day to get to Virginia… I would be back in time to move into my dorm. It’s inconvenient but doable.

“I could drive up to you in like a week, I’ll just meet you at your house.” I mutter thoughtfully.

“Wait, are you in Texas or Minnesota?”

“I’m about an hour out from Minny.” I answer, slightly confused.

“Oh, I’m here with Paige and the boys. We’re actually headed to the fair soon. You could meet up with us if you wanted.”

“Shit…uh, I didn’t think about them...” I mumble.

That’s a lie. Truthfully, every time I think of home, memories of the blonde flood my mind instantly. But then I’m reminded of what she’d done. How she ripped herself out of my chest like velcro, instead of carefully detangling herself, ridding herself off all strings attached. All for someone else.

For someone who used to be mine.

“Hello..? You still there?”

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. “Yeah, yeah, sorry. Uh, th-yeah, that’s fine.” I sigh, quickly trying to recover.

Azzi sighs through the phone. “Look, I still don’t know what happened between you two, so if you don’t want to come-” she amends.

“No! No, okay, sorry. I- just gotta change my clothes…” I say, biting my lip as I lie through my teeth. “I’ll just meet you guys there?”

I could practically hear Azzi smile. “That sounds good, just call me when you get there.”

After we say our goodbyes, I hang up. I groan as I throw my head back.

I’m always up to a challenge, but the thought of going and having to function around her, after all she’s said and done; after she’s ruined us before there even was an us, that might be more difficult than I’d thought.

It’s not like I have a choice, though. I’m gonna have to learn how to be around her every day, especially when the season starts.

_________

“Drew, bro, if you spray me with that shit one more time, I swear to god, I will beat your ass.” I glared at him as he hid behind Jose, who put his hands up in surrender. I should not have bought him that water gun.

I rolled my eyes as I turned back to Azzi, who kept looking around, then back at her phone, repeating the process. I kicked her in her shin. “Ow! Paige, what the fuck?” Azzi complains, rubbing her leg. “Who are you looking for?” I say, glancing around.

She looks back down at her phone. “Nobody. Just people watching.” I scoff. “Bullshit, are we being spied on, or what?” She shakes her head, looking up around once more. “Okay, bro, what’s going on? Who’s ass do I have to beat?”

Azzi rolls her eyes at me. “You couldn’t beat Ohio, let alone anyone else.”

I sit back in shock, putting my hand on my heart as I feign offense. “Okay, their defense was so unexpected. You can’t even put that on me.” She shrugged, looking back at her phone and standing up. “Where-”

“Bathroom.” she mutters. I watch as she practically sprints away. If only she did that shit in practice. I shake my head.

I open my phone and begin mindlessly scrolling through instagram, ignoring the thousands of times I’ve been tagged in pictures that I’d taken with fans today. Suddenly, I freeze.

It’s a post by the official UConn women’s basketball team. It’s a picture of CJ in her Texas jersey, the number 43 on the front. Her hair is in her signature bun, hair slicked back carefully, as she drives towards the basket. The caption reads “Welcome CJ West!”

What the fuck?

I’m in such a state of shock that when Azzi comes back, I don’t notice the figure next to her. I glance up at her, then back at my phone. “Yo, Azzi, have you seen this?” I look up at her again, and this time, I let my eyes flick to the person next to her.

CJ.

Forgetting what I’d just seen, my jaw drops as I take her in. She’s just as beautiful, if not more, as she was the last time I’d seen her. She’s wearing a basic casual outfit; a plain white crop top, paired with blue jeans, and gold jewelry that always makes her hazel eyes seem brighter. Or maybe that’s just how they look naturally.

“Oh, shit.” I whisper, clearly in awe. She rolls her eyes.

Fuck.

“Hello to you, too, Paige.” Double fuck.

That fucking voice.

I clear my throat, trying to recover. “Hey, CJ.” I breathe. The lighthearted air is swallowed by suffocating tension as I make eye contact with a stranger.

“Oooookay…” Azzi says, clearing her throat. “This is about as awkward as I’d thought it’s be…” she mutters. CJ looks at her. “I told you.”

I look between them. “What’s going on?”

Azzi looked at CJ expectantly, gesturing to her to speak. CJ rolled her eyes and huffed. “I-uh, I have news.” CJ glanced between Azzi and I. She cleared her throat as she picked at her earlobe, a habit she’d picked up when she was younger. I’d always hold her hand to stop her, and I want to do that more than anything right now. I think I’ve lost that right, though.

“I’m transferring to UConn.”

My eyes flick to Azzi’s who’s jaw drops. “Really? How-Why?”

CJ shrugs, trying feign carelessness. “Better environment, Texas heat ain’ my thing.” To the normal eye, CJ’s behavior could be seen as normal. But to me? I see the way her eyelids flutter, the hesitation behind her pretty lips, and the way her eyebrows raise just slightly. She’s a good liar.

Just not good enough.

I don’t say anything, though, not when she gets dragged away by Drew and Jose, not when Drew practically begs her to stay and hang out with us, and certainly not when she’s sat in front of me on the ride Jon chooses. I don’t say anything when the boys get swept away, and it’s just the three of us, like it always used to be.

It’s only when Azzi goes to the bathroom, leaving us alone for the first time in years that I say anything. “Try not to kill each other, please.” She orders as she scurries to the restroom.

It’s silent for a moment, and I can almost see the relief on her face when she thinks I’ll hold my tongue.

Unfortunately, I’m nobody’s peace.

“How long are you here for?” I ask, stuffing my hands into my black cargo pants. She looks up at me. “Uh-just for the week, gotta move outta my dorm, and it’s a long drive, so.”

I raise my eyebrows. “You driving on your own?”

CJ nods. “Yeah, I’ll just sleep in my car or something.” I shake my head. “No fucking way, bro, you serious? That’s like a twenty hour drive.”

She crosses her arms. “So? That’s how I got here.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not goin’ on your own.” I say. Truthfully, I knew she’d be fine on her own, but something about her driving back to Texas, just to go back to Connecticut, doesn’t sit well with me. I’m only concerned for her safety. Or at least that’s what I decide to tell myself.

She scoffs. “What, you’re gonna come with me?”

“I could, if that’s what you want.”

“That’s the last thing I want.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“It’s not. Didn’t even wanna see you today.”

I turned to her. “Seriously, dude?” She looks at me. “Yes, seriously.”

I roll my eyes. I know I hurt her. I know I fucked up. But that was three years ago. We were kids. I was eighteen. I can legally drink now. It’s been three years. How can someone be upset for that long? “You gotta get over it one day.” I say before thinking about it.

I regret it when I see a flash of hurt on her face. “Get over it? That’s easy for you to say, Paige.” she spits out harshly.

Ouch.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I say, even though I know exactly what she meant. “Exactly what it sounds like. You get over shit quickly.” She shrugs. Her nonchalant tone pisses me off more than the words. I take a step towards her. “I didn’t ‘get over’ anything. There was nothing to ‘get over’. You were just jealous-”

“Jealous?” She interrupts incredulously. “Paige, you stuck your tongue down her throat!”

“And that pissed you off. Hence, jealousy.” I shrug.

“You were my best friend! It’s not fucking jealousy, it’s betrayal!” She practically yells, taking a step closer, our toes almost touching.

“I didn’t betray anybody! I was drunk! She was drunk! And I apologized afterward!” I say, trying to ignore the way her scent invades my senses.

She laughs dryly, taking a step back. “Right, you’re right. Yeah, an apology fixes it all.” I blink. “Really?”

CJ stares at me. “You’re a fucking idiot.” she says, and the only emotion I can pick up is anger. “I know.” I whisper.

Just then Azzi comes out of the bathroom, looking between us. “Everything okay?”

“Yep.” We say at the same time, and Azzi raises her eyebrows. “Aaaalrighty then… Can we find the boys, I’m ready to go.”

I nod and begin to walk behind Azzi, but I don’t miss the way CJ looks at me. I’m no expert, but if I know one thing, it’s the gaze of someone who’s been heartbroken.

I know because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it every time I’ve looked in the mirror for the past three years.

__________

“There’s no way you’re driving to Texas by yourself.” Azzi gapes from the corner seat of the booth. Jose convinced Paige to drive us to some random diner. She’s so easy.

I roll my eyes as I take a sip of my sprite. “Bro, you sound like Paige.” I grumble.

“The fact that I’m agreeing with her should tell you how fucking stupid you sound.” she said. I look at her in shock as Paige throws her head back, cackling.

Fuck.

That stupid fucking laugh paired with that stupid fucking smile makes it so fucking hard to be mad at her. Maybe I should let it go. It has been three years…

No.

Instead of entertaining the thoughts, I opt for kicking her shin instead. “What do you think that says about you, dumbass.” She immediately shuts up, and I roll my eyes as Jon almost spits out his Dr. Pepper.

“I’ll have you know I was AP player of the year.” She defends, eyebrows furrowed. I raise my eyebrows unimpressed. “Still holding onto that, huh?”

Azzi laughs, and Paige shoots her a look. “Can we get back on task, please?” That seems to direct all the attention back to me. “Driving to Texas? All on your own?” Paige says.

“Yes. Did y’all forget how I got here? I didn’t fucking speedwalk.”

“Yeah, but you’re gonna go to Texas, spend, what, two full days staying up late and packing up three years of your life, and then driving the… twenty-nine, thirty, hour trip to Connecticut?” Azzi reasons.

I blink. “Well, when you put it like that..” I mutter.

Paige rolls her eyes. “Dude, just let us come with you. We can drive you there, so your car isn’t sitting in the middle of nowhere-”

“Isn’t your car in Storrs?”

“And we can switch drivers. Stay at a hotel halfway there, and then drive the rest of the way the day after.” She finishes, ignoring my comment. Before I can answer, the waiter comes with our food.

As he sets the plates down, I look at Paige, just taking her in. She’s wearing a plain black hoodie, with some red, white, and blue shorts on. It’s not much, but she could be wearing a trashbag and still be the hottest motherfucker around. It’s almost disgusting how effortlessly gorgeous she is.

I wouldn’t mind having someone to help me get to Connecticut. It’s a long drive, and it should be an easy yes. The truth is, when she looks like that, and acts like this, and talks the way she does… I don’t know how I’m going to get through the season, let alone a road trip.

I watch her lips as she says a thank you to the waiter, quickly averting my eyes when she looks at me. When the waiter leaves, I look back up and roll my eyes at her poor attempt to hide her smirk. As much as I wanted to wipe the smirk off her face, driving alone to Texas sounded dreadful. Plus, Paige has an okay music taste. Might not be that bad.

“Fine. You guys can come with me to Texas.”

Azzi smiles, clearly satisfied. Paige grins like a madman, clapping her hands. “This is going to be fun.”

I roll my eyes for the upteenth time tonight.

What the fuck did I just get myself into?

=======================

taglist: @wintersstan @bueckerrss @lilia22hicks @fake-intelligences @girlokwhatever @pbloverr @breeloveschris-deactivated20240 @cosmopretty @hellokittyfeenie @averagelobotomyenjoyer @elliewilliamsthang @chelisbae @angelscovee @st4rrzynight @cherryswisherz

[luckyasfuck]

maybe i just wanna be yours [k. bakugou]

A CAMBOY AU SERIES - PARTS 5, [6], 7, ...

pairing // katsuki x female reader

tw // cussing, smut

warnings for this part // masturbation, bondage, sensory deprivation, use of toys, voyuerism kink

theme // enemies to lovers au, camboy!katsu au, college student!katsu and reader au, no quirk au

keys // y/n

words // 1.4k

a/n // wont be updating for a while :((

previous part I masterlist

“no funny business, blondie.”

for some reason, the librarian decided to close the library early. an emergency, the staff said. it was already closed and locked up when the duo got there with none of the other teachers having the key. they said the librarian left without warning and apologized to the pissed off students and offered the idea of one of them going to the others house to study if they really wanted to. and that’s how y/n ended up here, sitting criss-cross on katsuki’s living room. the blonde sat right in front of her, preparing and scheduling the things they would be studying.

the competition was nearing and they both really needed to study. none of them want to admit but it is a bit easier studying together, both of them had their advantages and disadvantages on each subject and with each other, it was just... easier. “well, if you keep staring at me like that i won’t be able to stop myself.” katsuki looked up and smirked before going back to the papers splayed out in front of him. their mini little library session got them uncomfy to use the library at that time, right after that happened.

y/n was sure of one thing: she still hated his guts. sure, his cock felt awesome but that doesn’t push away the fact that he’s her biggest competition. there’s no reply as she glared right at him, rolling her eyes at what he just said. “you don’t record here?” and with that, the mood completely shifts. for katsuki, the tension grows and the room suddenly feels stuffy as he shifts from where he’s sitting. “what kind of mood up-lifter question is that?”

“who said i was trying to lift the mood? it’s a genuine question.” y/n glared, seemingly not bothered with what she just asked. does she ask questions like this on the daily? goddamn. katsuki gulped, “no. it’s upstairs.” with a quick glance at the girl, he sees her looking at his small flight of stairs. he sighs and looks back down, keeping himself occupied. “you know, you own a lot of vibrators.” y/n could feel the mood shift too as she felt a thin layer of sweat cover her neck slowly. 

“can we not talk about this-” quickly finishing up the papers, katsuki rolls his eyes and looks up, only to flinch back at the sight of y/n’s face meters away from his. the tension grew stronger and his heart speeds up. in nervousness. he reassures himself, looking away from her eyes. “i heard you like challenges.” a soft hand brings him back to her gaze. “here’s a challenge for you: no fucking, blondie.” soft hot breaths fanned at his lips as she said that, the warmth of her hand disappearing as she took the papers she needed and slinking back into her spot, reading innocently through the introduction page as if nothing happened.

the throbbing inside his pants brings katsuki back, trying to even out his breathing. this goes unnoticed by y/n as she started to write down the questions she didn’t understand in hopes the boy could help her later. eyes spanning to the papers, she notices the tent in his pants right before he hides. sweat starts to form on katsuki’s forehead as he took a paper from the stack and y/n feels herself throb, cussing mentally at how hard this “challenge” was gonna be for her too. “fix it, i’ll let you off this time.” she doesn’t dare lock eyes with him, opting to pretend to answer and write notes instead. 

in seconds, katsuki is tumbling over his own feet to the bathroom, leaving her all alone. the door is slammed open and left open as he sat on the toilet, palming himself through his clothes before stripping them down to his ankles. he grabs his tip, thumb running through his slit as he let out a silent moan. meanwhile, a shiver runs through y/n’s spine when she hears it. the sound is not muffled, so maybe he left the door open. on purpose. that fucker. it wasn’t fair, she couldn’t just plop down on his couch and get off to his moans, now could she? she had a decent amount of self-respect not to do that.

the image of her made his mind hazy, how she looked when she was that close, how she’d look drooling all over his cock, how she’d look when she’d fucked out with his cum dripping out of her slowly. the quivering of his legs don’t stop as he neared his orgasm, moaning uncontrollably now. he totally forgets that he’s brought the girl over, a hand tugging gently at his balls. “ah~ f-feels so good- fuck!” in a second, he’s creaming all over his hand at the thought of y/n. like he’s done probably everyday of this week. 

the house goes silent but katsuki still hasn’t come out of the bathroom because the shaking of his legs never ceased. y/n was left in the living room, wetness pooling in her panties, making her uncomfortable. she’s sure she’s read this paragraph already, but her thoughts can’t function properly, the audible sounds from the bathroom clouding her mind with dirty thoughts about him. 

the sound of the bathroom door closing echoes around the silent house, heavy footsteps being heard from above. assuming that katsuki was headed back, y/n gulps and tries to focus on studying. it’s been minutes and she still hasn’t understood a word, and he hasn’t come back. wanting to get this bullshit over with, she stand up with a huff, heading upstairs. 

the bathroom door is closed, there are two rooms down the small hallway and one of them was labeled storage room. the other room is probably his bedroom, the door is left slightly opened and y/n sighed. she knocks on the bathroom door, no answer. 

“woman, i’m over here.”

a slightly muffled voice originating from the bedroom said. this felt like a horror movie. y/n was sweating underneath her hoodie, the cold air seemingly doing nothing to help her as she approached the bedroom with heavy, angry steps. “what in fucks name are you doing, we’re supposed to be studying-”

and there lied bakugou katsuki. all of his clothes were stripped off as he sat comfortably in his bed, leaning on the headboard and stroking his cock slowly. his toes curl and his cock twitches as the sight of her, noticing the way she rubs her thighs together for some sort of pleasure to be sent to her cunt. she didn’t move, she stayed there in shock, staring right at him. staring right at his cock. the muscles on his stomach flexed slightly as he started to stroke himself faster, but he wills himself to stop for a second. 

the blonde stands up from his spot and jumps out the bed, walking over to y/n. in a swift movement, she’s pinned to the wall, toned muscles keeping her in place. she tries to look at anything besides him- he’s naked, for fucks sake. but she can’t. not when his face is centimeters away from hers, doing the trick she did not too long ago. “as long as my dick isn’t shoved inside you, we’re not fucking. right? right. now be a good girl, get on that fucking bed and let me do whatever i please with you.”

wrists tied and vision taken away by a blindfold, y/n whined slightly as she was stripped of her panties. katsuki’s hand roamed all around her body, caressing her boobs and gripping her jaw. soon, the warmth disappeared as he pulled away, leaving her there. shuffling is heard at the corner of the room before he spoke up. “i would put you on live but other people don’t deserve to hear your pretty love sounds and that sweet fucking pussy.” slight buzzing is heard and it grows louder and louder as he approached her.

“only i fucking get to savor that.”

a hand shoves y/n’s legs apart, a vibrator instantly shoved up against her sensitive clit making her flinch, trying to move away from the toy. this makes katsuki chuckle a bit, shoving it even harder on her bundle of nerves. “i bought this one yesterday, i was gonna try it on myself but you decided to show up.” he licked a stripe up her cheek as she whined and moaned, trembling slightly. “’s too sensitive~” the female slurred, mouth wide open in pleasure.

“too sensitive? too fucking bad.” the vibrator is moved all around her pussy before it’s shoved inside her hole and put to the highest setting. unseen tears well up in her eyes as she cries out, hands pulling at the rope that kept them in place and head lolling back. “let’s reverse the roles,” katsuki pulled the chair from his desk, propping it up on the edge of the bed.

“this time, i’ll be the one watching you.”

next part [ not yet available! ]

taglist

@princesspeach-00 @tamakisropebunny @bakugous-mamas @ll379333 @j1-914 @gazelle-des-pres @trashpandainahat @dickinson-67 @victoriaestein @graybabyxx @apex-legends-dreams @bokuwhorez @karicho @marinwestward @fondontinta @ambi0311 @aghase-nct91312 @toxicempath

[junova]

↬ 𝐬𝐚𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐭 | 𝐬. 𝐫𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬

abstract: the one where steve finds your love letters.

pairing: au!steve x fem!reader

word count: 3K+

warnings: cussing, fluff, angst, crying, slight self-deprecation.

[author’s note]: hey guys! i’m really new to the writing scene so kind words are appreciated! srsly just testing my writing style out and wanted to just post something to motivate me to keep writing. hope u like it. <3

also thank u ari for the inspo and that bomb ass album that saved twenty-twenty. now we just need biden to get elected.

ps. don’t forget to vote! <3

Stevie,

First and foremost, I want you to know how proud of you I am. You have become the man you’ve said you become, the one I always knew you would. You have finally seen what the rest of us see.

A good man.

The soul you carry within you shines brighter than I’ve ever seen. Just for that only, I’m thankful for the time we’ve spent together. Maybe one day, I’ll be brave enough to tell you this without hiding behind the comfort of this notebook. She won’t spill my secrets, fortunate for me.

Some days you have no idea how badly I want to tell you. I think it’s on the days I discover a new fleck of green in your eyes or maybe when you show up to class with a cup of coffee for me without request.

More. More. More.

More. More. More.

It’s selfish of me, that much I know. More days than not, I would say you give too much of yourself away. Always wanting to appease everyone, you, Steven Rogers, the bridge to making the people around you happier than they walked in. Even when Bucky drags you into his nonsense bullshit, you say yes without hesitation.

I’ve got not a a clue on how you continue on, how you still remain you when you tend to spread yourself so thin. Who watches out for you? Who cares for you? Who loves the almighty, selfless Rogers?

For me, it’s much easier to pretend you carry too much on your plate than to deal with the rejection I would receive from you. You’re just too good, more than I deserve. More than I would be willing to take. I know I couldn’t possibly give you what you deserve but, I hope that one day you might see me differently. You would see me more than the light I’ve painted myself in.

Even though the shade is lovely, I want to be deeper. Deeper into you on a level which only seems unattainable at this point.

A forever friend. To be in your life, just as a friend, is an reward in itself.

But someday I hope you would love me in the same way I do. It’s all a love struck girl could do. Hope for the best, bet be prepared for the downfall.

With much love, your forever friend.

Tearing the page away from the binding of the overfilled notebook, dispensing it in the first empty drawer you could find, you abandoned the feelings as soon as the pen’s ink bleed out dry.

“You know it would just be easier to tell him how you feel.” You peaked up at the sound of her voice, before realizing she was looming over you, watching your write the letter.

Your supposed, secret letter.

“Nat, please. No.” Opening the drawer, she grabbed the letter but was surprised with just how many she found.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. You’ve written about him multiple times?” You sank in the soft, plush material of your seat hoping that just maybe it would begin to swallow you whole. Hopefully, fast enough were you wouldn’t have to endure the rest of the conversation. One you had been trying to avoid, for the past three years.

“It’s nothing Nat, just forget it.” Just like a Romanov, she couldn’t leave it alone. Even if she tried it was laced in her blood to see any little thing through.

“You really shouldn’t wait so long. A window might close for you, much sooner than you think.” With a curious eyebrow lifted, you felt your breath leave you.

“What does that supposed to mean?” Steve certainly deserved the best and you knew it was only time for him to figure out you would never be enough for him.

“Peggy Carter.” Peggy.

The one girl of a sea of many who had been enamored by Steve. He never really seemed to spend anytime with the women who vied for his attention, but Peggy was surely different than the rest.

Even if Steve was oblivious when it came to the advances everyone would make on him, he saw Peggy. Considering she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, she intimidated you. God, did she ever.

On numerous occasions she and Steve had gone out, and even though he assured you they were just friends you were starting to believe he was only trying to protect your feelings. As a friend.

He had never cancelled on you once for her and he would tell you if he had started to date someone, just like he had before.

Even though the entire three years you’d known him he only had one serious girlfriend and after eight months, the pair broke up and even now he still didn’t budge on why they broke up.

“Steve can do whatever he wants with her. He’s a single man. He’s gone out with her before and he’ll probably go with her again.” Then Sam was the next to speak up, dismissing the total bullshit spouting from your mouth.

“Can’t you see he doesn’t want to? The damn man follows you around like a goddamn puppy.” Okay, when did he even come in here?

“God, fuck, no he doesn’t. He would have said something by now, he’s had three years and it’s been nothing but radio silence.” With an all knowing smirk, Sam proposed a new concept into question.

“It has been three years. So, have you ever said anything to him?”

Shit. Fuck you, Wilson.

“W-Well, not exactly.” Sam didn’t have to say anything in response. You knew he was right and you hated it.

Your unwillingness still stood for you, there was just no way he actually would reciprocate your feelings.

“Listen, I think it would be really good for the both of you to air everything out. Peggy is sinking her claws in him and it isn’t too long before they get stuck. Just talk to him.” You nodded silently, but you weren’t sure if you’d ever have the courage to.

—

Emptiness.

It’s all you seemed to feel today. Following you around was a dark cloud, looming over you. Wishing you could be anywhere but your own body. Nothing in particular happened to make you deserve the feeling you were granted with. It just so happened to be one of those days.

From the moment you got out of bed — or rather stayed in bed until four in the afternoon, you felt like anything you would have done just didn’t feel enough. The feeling was fleeting, never staying for more than a day or so, but it made the day drag on. Never ending.

Your muscles sore, body aching from the lack of activity your presumed. Or maybe you had built it in your head too.

Thankfully for you, Nat was busy helping Bucky move into his new place the entire day. She asked if you wanted to help, but mentally you didn’t feel you would be useful for anyone. Simply, telling her you would hang back, claiming you had another an essay to write.

Which you did, you weren’t completely lying, but there was more than your sour mood to blame for your dismissal of social interaction.

You hated to be that girl, the one who needed the presence of men. Specifically, the company of one very beautiful, blue eyed one.

His absence in your life the past few weeks felt heavier on you than you thought it would. You knew from Sam’s intel he had been hanging out with Peggy more and more. He said the two of them were getting close, mercifully sparing you the details.

You hated it’s you’d become. A girl so damn struck over a boy who was giving his attention elsewhere. Upset you were though. Before even if he was busy between classes and his internship at the gallery, he would still text to check up on you.

Now, it was nothing but radio silence letting you draw conclusions on your own. Very, very dangerous territory for you to travel to.

Steve and you are just friends. Get. Over. It.

You thought you’d be alone the rest of the Saturday, especially since it was nearly midnight. Figuring Nat was staying over at Bucky’s and Wanda leaving earlier in early hours of the morning to see her boyfriend for the entire weekend.

Then, an incredibly drunk Steve stumbled into your quaint apartment, the thoughtfully sweetness in him blubbering out with the alcohol flooding through his system. It was like he was on overdrive. More than ready to crash at any given moment.

You had enough when Steve started shamelessly raiding your kitchen, but you remained on the couch attempting to maintain some distance between the two of you. He had a history of being incredibly handsy whenever he had bit too much to drink.

Stumbling his way over to you, almost tripping on the rug, until he was basically cuddling up to your side. His arms latched tightly around you, pulling you into him. Not spared a choice, not that you’d want one.

The security of being wrapped up to him wasn’t something you ever grew tired of. You don’t think there would ever be a time you would ever be capable of turning him away.

“I’ve missed you. It’s been too long.” His soft tone, penetrating the tiny resistance you held towards him. “Me too. I was starting to think you disappeared on me, bubba.”

“Never.” His iron grip holding so tight like he was afraid you’d slip right through.

“Is everything alright?” Trying to pull from him, but Steve seemed unable to let you go. You whispered in his ear, caressing his back.

“I think so.”

“Here, let me grab you cup of joe and some water. Okay? I’ll be right back.” Leaving him a kiss on the cheek, before heading him into the kitchen.

If you had been around him recently, perhaps you would be more in tune with how he was feeling. Then the guilt sept in.

“Sweetheart, do you know where the phone charger is? It’s not by the recliner.” You heard him shout, trying to stop your heart from hammering into your stomach.

Just make him some coffee, sober him up, until he crashes.

Steve always seemed to be a lightweight and somehow whenever he did decide to drink he always found himself routing his way into your home. You thought it was simply for accident alone. The bar he frequented at was only a few block from you.

The past few times he would just stumble into your bedroom, immediately passing out in your soft, silky sheet. Now, he seemed to have more pressing matters at hand.

“Check the drawers, Stevie. I think there’s one you left around here somewhere.” You grabbed the filters and the grounds out, brewing the coffee. Soon, with a black cup of coffee and a water bottle in hand you took note of just how quite he was being.

He was never this silent and it was freaking you out.

“Are you sure you’re o-”

Just like that.

Fuck.

Hunched over, practically on his knees, he read over the endless letters you wrote about him. Confessions never meant to be seen by him. You lost track of how many you had written over the past few years once realized how irrevocably in love with him you are.

He didn’t realize you had found him and you were suddenly paralyzed. Unaware of your presence he continued to read through them and his expression was unrecognizable. One you’d never seen from him before, and you didn’t quite know how to react.

No. He wasn’t grimacing nor did he seem to be elated either. He just stood there just like you, afraid what would happen next.

What did this mean for the two of you? Your entire relationship was purely riding on whatever happened next.

Softly, with a gentle hand, he sifted through them all like he was looking for something specifically. Steve let them fall to the hardwood floors as your shaking hands could no longer support the weight of the dainty coffee cup he had actually sculpted himself.

The glass shattering everywhere, several pieces making their way towards him, thankfully not fiercely enough to penetrate his skin.

Truly, you had never been more sorry than when he looked up at you with tears in his eyes. Threatening to spill over. Because of you.

You didn’t have to be told, you already knew.

Carefully, Steve stood up making his way over to you around the shattered mug. Still you couldn’t bring yourself to move. Simply just watching him until he was right in front of you — more silent than you’d ever seen him before.

“Those were about me. Weren’t they?” You nodded having no reason to lie other than to protect yourself from a rejection you been hoping to spare yourself from.

“I didn’t want you to find out like this. Or at all really.” Your resolve dropping instantly when Steve took a step further gripping by your hips, pulling you closer.

“Why not?” He questioned you, again. Almost like he needed a verbal affirmation of every secret he had just read.

Unintentionally, stealing your soul served for him on a silver platter.

“I know how you’d feel about me, Steve. It’s not how I want it to be and it’s okay.” You remove yourself from him, traveling to the other side of the living room. Suddenly, the apartment seemed suffocating with him in it. “I’m fine, Steve.”

Hearing him sigh in frustration only furthered your immense feeling of being a burden to him.

You’re just one more obstacle he has to deal with.

“One of them dated back for over two years ago. Two fucking years.” His harsh tone, piercing through you like a knife.

“I know. I should have told you.” You whispered, wishing you could disappear into any abyss that would take you. Deeply wishing you just didn’t have to endure for the rest of this conversation. Wishing you could have stopped him from opening that stupid drawer. “I tell you everything, but I just couldn’t bring myself to speak about this. Look at how you’re reacting? How could you blame me when every fear I have about this is justified?”

You really should have kept those elsewhere, not your open, public living room.

“Because it’s us. I’m always here for you.” He was still crying through broken words and you didn’t know why. Almost like you had shattered his resolve and his control leaving with it.

“Not lately. You’ve been otherwise occupied.” Suddenly find the plant in the corner of the room. It certainly weren’t trying to distract yourself from the insatiable cerulean eyes.

The breathtaking british woman wasn’t even here and as soon as she was brought up — there was a wall. Seperating, you from whatever was between the two of you.

“This isn’t my fault. You never said anything. How was I supposed to know you feel that way about me?” He tried to make his way towards you but you just stalked off in the other direction. Circling around the living room like a coward.

“It didn’t matter though, did it? You found someone perfect for you regardless of how you feel.” God, you wish he would just leave so you could let the dam break.

“No. You don’t get to do that. Since the moment I met you I only had eyes for you, but you never seemed like you were interested. So, I dropped it. Okay? You never left me a crumb to think you would ever want to be more than just friends.”

“You were my best friend. You still are. No matter how I felt, it could never outweigh the need I have for you to be in my life.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. Trying to figure out what was next for the both of you. Steve always had to initiate and this time was no different.

“Peggy told me tonight she wants to be exclusive.” His confession washing over you like a ton of bricks. Crushing you.

You really couldn’t have any ill feeling towards her, she was just doing what you lacked the courage and the tenacity to do.

“But I didn’t really know what to do.” He took quiet steps towards you, not wanting to spook you. He voice not no longer held the a warmth of teddy bear, but a man on a mission rather took over.

Steve kept quiet until he had you backed up into a corner, no escape route in vision for you.

“’Cause there’s this other beautiful woman, absolutely breathtaking — and I just I really needed to know how she felt. If I had known before,  I never would have gone anywhere else.” His hand caressing your soft, plump lips. Pulling on your bottom lip with his thumb, sending you into a frenzy.

“Then, I just wanted to forget about everything until Sam called me. Three beers deep, when he told me of a drawer filled with letters I should take a look at.” You could feel his breath on you, temple pressed against yours.

“I just need to hear you say it. Just once.” Taking it a step forward, intertwining your finger with his own.

“I love you.” It was all he needed as he sealed his own affirmation with a sweet kiss, inking your lips with all of his love.

[wing-ed-thing]

Group Project (Shino x Reader x Kisame x Temari)

Request: 

Word Count: 2,282

Tags/Warnings: Language, Alcohol Mention, Gender Neutral Reader @brokennerdalert​ @narahanabi​

Notes: I have never written for Temari before. I think I got her spot on tho. This was actually too fun to write. Enjoy, y’all.

The only time that worked for everyone was 10 o’clock. Which, by the way, sucked ass. At least, that was what Kisame said in the groupchat just ten minutes before you dragged yourself out of your dorm and into the rain. You trudged through the puddles, holding your jacket closed over your body to protect your backpack-encased laptop. Shino had a night lab. The earlier he finished his work the earlier he could leave. Temari had been insistent about that. She had some sort of circle and you remembered Kisame asking her why she couldn’t just skip for the week only to be met with a passive aggressive response. And Kisame himself had hockey practice. Even the sports houses were off campus, only impeding your scheduling efforts.

When you got to the longue, Temari had already set up all of her belongings. She sat herself in a cluster of four shallow armchairs and spread out a flurry of papers on the long coffee table. With the packed schedule that she threw into the chat, you wondered how she got there so quickly. Temari looked up at you with one long, slender brow raised.

“Oh good, at least you’re here.” Unsure, really, of what to make of her backhanded compliment, you sat down in the chair across from her and wordlessly unpacked your laptop.

You never liked general classes. At the end of the day, you worked on a few big, group projects, ultimately learned nothing, and your grade depended on the work ethic of others. You glanced over at Temari. She likely didn’t even have the same major as you. Granted, that was probably the point of the class, but nonetheless, it weighed on your already drooping eyes knowing that you’d have to pour so many late night hours into a project that would amount to nothing.

You pulled up your school account and sifted through your notifications.

“I signed us up for a research question. I thought that censorship in the classroom was an easy and relevant one. I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to get into the intricacies of drones at this time of day.” You couldn’t help but nod. Temari sure pounced on top of things quickly and for that, you were thankful to have received an easy prompt.

“Sounds great,” you mused and the heavy door from the outside to the longue slammed shut. You glanced over your shoulder to find Kisame, still in athletic clothes grinning as he approached.

“Well this is bullshit, isn’t it?” Those were the first words to come out of his mouth and you could practically hear Temari groan in exasperation. Kisame plopped down in the armchair beside you, offering you a wink as he did. “What kinda professor assigns a project on Tuesday only for it to be due Thursday? Ain’t that right, sweetheart?”

You averted your eyes back to your screen, pretending to sort through your notifications. You hummed in response, too easily flustered and too tired to process. Temari’s fingers flexed over her own keyboard.

“It’s the beginning of the semester. It’s to test out organizational skills and teamwork,” she managed through half-gritted teeth. You looked between your two teammates, wondering what exactly happened between them that made them so hostile to each other. You made a mental note to not get in the way of whatever that was. Kisame scoffed, sitting back in the arm chair and reaching for his own computer.

“I don’t really care what it is and why it is. What I care about is that I’m wasting my Wednesday night…”

“Ah, yes, Wednesday night,” Temari repeated mockingly, “Because I know that I like getting plastered in the middle of the week.” Kisame leaned towards you on his left arm cushion.

“Soy Sauce over there is just sore that her brother picked a fight with one of my boys and lost. Sasori’s a short guy too, you should link with us sometime.” You heard Temari scoff.

“Yeah, like Kankuro would lose to any of the thugs you hang around—”

“Who are you calling a thug?” Temari met Kisame’s pointed glare. Even so, he sank farther into his seat, lifting one ankle to rest on his knee. “Though, I think it says something that you knew exactly what I was talking about—” He punctuated every word with a smug swing of his head before Shino walked in.

“Nice to see that things are lively in here.” He made his way across the lounge before plopping down next to Temari. A white piece of cloth hung out from his backpack, something that Temari didn’t miss as Shino prepared his materials.

“That’s a hazard.” She bit the inside of her lip.

“Don’t listen to her. She’s been grumpy since before you came here,” Kisame quickly explained, much to Temari’s disdain.

Looking across from you, you almost wished that you had just been paired up with Shino. You didn’t know him that well, but he seemed smart, capable and overall, quiet. Temari had drive, but her approach felt intense. Meanwhile, Kisame seemed like he couldn’t care less about the project. Or perhaps, it was more that he couldn’t care less about Temari.

“So the paper,” you began out of sheer nervousness. “And the presentation…” The three sets of eyes turned to you. You glanced at the clock. You had already wasted more than a half hour.

“Let’s be real here, a five page research paper is nothing,” Temari said, also crossing her legs. “It’s the presentation that we should worry about.” Kisame let out a breath.

“Well, here I was about to say the opposite.” He turned his neck to the side and you heard a few audible cracks. “What about we split it up if the paper is so easy for you?”

“I’m not just doing the paper by myself. Besides, I’d need to find sources and by the time I’ve found sources and written everything up, I’ll have done most of the work.” Temari wrinkled her nose at your partner next to you. “I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what you were banking on.”

“Here.” Shino’s low voice broke through the room. With one exaggerated click on his keyboard he looked up at the three of you. “I just put a list of sources in the shared doc. There’s ten of them which should be more than enough. I pulled a few articles and a few academic papers which should meet the criteria from the rubric.”

Temari blinked down at her computer, furiously switching tabs. Her lips formed a round ‘o’ shape.

“Nice work, Shino,” you praised only to receive a shy nod. “I think if we take an anti-censorship stance, it’ll make out work easier given the time that we have to finish. Maybe Temari, you can start the paper and I can start the slides.”

“I can help you with that,” Kisame offered and you typed his email into the share box.

“I’ll help Temari with the paper,” Shino said with another nod.

“Start with the counterarguments. I’ll work from the top, you work from the bottom.” Temari gestured widely to Shino’s screen and you let out a relieved sigh. Maybe you’ll be able to get all of this done after all.

Time flew during the late hours of the night. You didn’t know what it was about the nighttime that made time feel quicker than usual. Soon enough, the clock struck one. Temari plucked ferociously at her laptop and it surprised you that Kisame hadn’t asked her what she was punishing her keyboard for. Shino, on the other hand, liked to stand. About an hour ago, he had stood up from his seat, and with one foot on the low level of the coffee table, kept at writing his part of the paper. Temari and Shino didn’t speak much. Rather, their side of the table mostly sounded of clicking.

Meanwhile, you and Kisame were having a great time. He made you laugh much to Temari’s annoyance, but knowing that you were getting your parts done, she didn’t comment. Despite his outward physique, Kisame had a sense of style when it came to design and organization. You flew through fonts and images quickly and by the time you had cleared the first few slides, even you were impressed by how professional it looked. The clock read two o’clock.

“This was your conclusion, right?” You turned your screen in your hands to face Temari. She squinted over and her eyes lit up.

“Actually, that’s a way better wording. Imma just steal that…” She clicked some more. “That’s some great work.”

“It was actually all Kisame.” And to your surprise, he didn’t gloat. Instead, he remained eerily focused. Temari glanced at him before glancing away.

“Like I said, great work…” she muttered.

“We’re almost done with the slides,” you announced, “Do you guys need help with the paper?” Shino shook his head. You found that he preferred non-verbal answers.

“We’re wrapping up over here, too,” Temari answered.

“Good, because I’m fuckin’ starving.”

And with the one mention of food, you all looked up at each other.

***

There was only one place open this late at night and it was one block away from campus. Fast Food, of course, but no one in your group complained. The dining halls were closed and most of you didn’t keep your rolling pantries stocked with anything worth eating at two in the morning, so you packed up your things.

It felt odd walking down the road with this group of people. You chattered amongst yourselves about anything other than your assignment.

“Me? I’m a biology major. I want to study beetles but I have to get my undergrad before I can do anything really specific.” By far, Shino had to be the most interesting of you all. You made your way off of campus, the restaurant in your sight. And as the walk continued, so did your conversation.

“I’ve wanted to try the new place that they opened up by admissions but they’re always closed when I try to go.” Temari pouted and you crossed the street together. You wondered if spending four straight hours having to communicate with any three people could make talking to them this easy.

“Marine biology?” You stared up at Kisame. “I don’t think I would have guessed.” He let out a hearty laugh that sent a few birds flying.

“Oh yeah, they have us go out of labs for the whole day. And when I say the whole day, I mean the whole day. I’ve always loved the ocean, but I think I’d have to transfer if I had to wake up at seven and come back at eight for more than one day a week.” Kisame reached for the handle, only for it not to budge in his grip. He tried again.

“Are they closed?” you asked, getting slightly agitated at the prospect.

“No.” Shino cupped his hands around his eyes as he stared through the window. “Wet floor signs are out. This must be the time that they clean the dining room.” Shino hardly had to finish his sentence before Kisame was already on his way to the drive thru.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Temari yelled after him as she jogged to catch up. “You can’t just walk through the drive thru.”

“Sure you can.” Kisame stood directly in front of the speaker with his hands in his pockets. “There are no cars around and even if there were, they’d have to take our order to get us out of the way… Hello?” The speaker crackled and Kisame shot a pointed look at the rest of you before moting for you to come closer to order.

“What can I get you?” the apathetic worker droned.

“Can I get a number nine?” Kisame started.

“Oh me too,” you whispered to him, not entirely sure why you spoke with such a hushed tone. He crossed his arms with a smirk.

“Make that two number nines? One large—” He stepped back to let Temari come up to the speaker.

“May I please get a number six with extra sauce, please? And, uh, a number seven too, please.” Like Kisame before her, Temari stepped to allow Shino to talk.

“Two number forty-fives, one with cheese and a large soda.”

With nowhere else to sit, you claimed a spot in the empty parking lot. Temari ended up paying. You put up a fight, but she insisted. You were secretly convinced that she was loaded anyway.

“You two got a lot of food.” Kisame handed you your fillet burger. Temari hummed, taking one of her backs and folded it behind her.

“One’s for my boyfriend,” she said, and before Kisame could get out a snarky comment about how Temari could ever land a boyfriend, Shino answered,

“I just usually eat all at once. Can’t usually grab dinner while doing night labs.” You all grimaced to yourselves. You knew the feeling of skipping meals because of your schedules.

You looked out at the city. Your school sat on a hill just outside of the twinkling lights. You found comfort in the blinking that came from below and your surroundings made the atmosphere feel completely still.

“You know, if we have a choice, we should just stick together for the rest of the semester.” Shino’s monotone voice cut through the air. You turned to the rest of them. Temari shrugged.

“It’s less of a gamble since we know each other, I suppose. I know that most of you won’t mess up our assignments…” You and Kisame nodded along, both stuffing your faces with french fries.

The decision was unanimous.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed and otherwise supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Notes: 

Shino’s lab coat was in with his regular supplies which is technically a hazard when working in chem and bio labs since lab coats should be sealed. 

Not all fast-food places well take your order without a car, but if you block the line they’ll give in (that’s what I did). Don’t blame me if you get arrested for doing that though. 

"I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."– Melvin "Big Smoke" Harris

[echo-three-one]

How ‘bout Jealous Soap x reader?

Hello Earthisdonut 🌍 🍩

I saw your ask while I was at work and I can't stop thinking about how the story goes... I had a lot of ideas but as I wrote, it kept on swinging on the other direction. Maybe it's my feelings being resonated into the words or an entire force telling me to go this way. Anyways here you go...

A jealous soap x reader fic.

Take me home

You take a deep breath and closed your eyes, clearing away the mixed sounds of random chatter, loud tv commentary and the all the yelling. 'Friday evening shifts are the worst' you thought to yourself as you make your way back to your station, wearing a smile on your face.

"Hey miss!" a customer whistled from the far end of the counter. You hastily walked to him and smiled. 

"What can I get you?" you asked with sincerity in your voice. You've worked long enough to master the art of faking a smile when in fact you are tired, but this job is all you have and the tips kept the bills afloat.

"Two beers and roasted nuts, please." He ordered, you were impressed at how kind he was, unlike the other new customers who reeked of rudeness and bad manners.

"Coming right up, Sir!" you winked as you tend to his order, mentally noting his tab for later. You hand him over the beer, placed on a circular chip that served as a coaster, followed by a heaping bowl of roasted nuts.

This kind of scene continued throughout the night, just with different kinds of people with different combinations of orders. You feel tired but you tend to forget it when you look at the tip jar, the thing that kept you moving forward. It's also the thing that's holding you back from life, you remembered when your best friend told you that you should unwind sometimes instead of rendering overtime during your day offs, to which you replied : "Soon enough", and that was well over a year ago.

As you wiped off the recently left spot by the counter, a well built man immediately took the spot and sat down, you tilted you head upward as the action surprised you. There he was, you couldn't miss his look, he stood out on the crowd because of his haircut, a perfectly cut mohawk and a scar on his left eye. He grinned at you, his blue eyes looked excited as soon as it met yours.

"John? I didn't know you'd be home!" You gasped as soon as you realized he's actually there, quickly putting a shot glass and pouring his favorite drink.

"Hey Y/N! I knew I'd find you here!" his hand gestured for a shake but he quickly dismissed it as soon as he realized he couldn't do it while you're at work.

"Yeah, working as always." you replied, trying to sound contented. He smiled at you as he raised his glass and downed the drink. You couldn't help but look at the way his Adam's apple moved as he consumed the drink.

His face turned into something incomprehensible as he let the taste of the strong alcohol set in, making you chuckle a little. His eyes turned to you as he heard you laugh.

"What's funny?" he asked. You simple shook you head and poured another pint on his shot glass. 

"I'll be back in a few. I have to serve drinks for these wild crowd." You informed him, but as soon as you were about to step out, you hear him stand up.

"What time will you be off?" He asked.

"Two more hours." You replied without looking back. You could feel your cheeks warm up and an uncontrollable smile plastered on your face. 

"Okay. I'll be here till then." he yelled as you entered the door to the employee's area. 

'Shit Shit shit shit.' you whispered to yourself as you regain composure. He felt way off. He didn't act like this toward you before. You could feel something odd between you two, and you're very distracted about it.

You made your way to your manager's office to request a five minute break. You knew he'd approve a breather from you because he was a accommodating to you since day one. You believed it's because you always give it your all in every shift.

You softly knock on his office door and pushed it slightly ajar, peeking your head through it as you saw him on his desk, doing some paperwork.

"Ah, Y/N. You need anything, love?" he greeted in his usual tone. His endearment didn't matter you as he calls every female "love".

"Can I take a five? Just needed to breathe." you huffed. He nodded in approval and stood up. 

"Let's puff it out, yeah?" he smiled as he offered a stick of cigarette.

The cold breeze of the Saturday evening wrapped around your work uniform. The noise from the bar was muffled but occasional screams would echo across the street. You exhaled a long stream of cigarette smoke through your mouth as the relaxing feel of nicotine coursed through your system. Smoking was your go-to activity whenever you feel extreme unexplained emotions, such as seeing John MacTavish after a long time.

"Tough crowd?" Your manager turned his head to you as you casually leaned on the cold metal railing.

"Not really. I just saw someone I least expected to see." You retorted, pressing your lips against the cigarette butt as you closed your eyes and inhaled the vice.

"Someone you hate?" He queried. 

"Not necessarily. But at one point of my life, maybe... It's just... it's complicated." You complained, sighing at the thought of him once again. You mentally fought against yourself whether to reminisce or not, reminding yourself that the reason you went out here was to clear your head, not to fill it with memories of summer 4 years ago.

You fixed your posture and flicked off the cigarette butt to the ashtray. Your boss followed, escorting you back to the office. 

"Thanks for the company. I needed it." You thanked him as you crossed the street. He hummed in acknowledgement as he opened the door for you. You couldn't help but scan the room quickly for a mohawk, but he wasn't around. Maybe he went to the bathroom, you thought to yourself as you get back to your station.

9:59 pm. Your eyes trailed to the huge digital clock by the door, rapidly moving across the crowd still no mohawk in sight. This actually made you sad, he wasn't the kind of guy who dissappoints, you always saw him as a man of his word. You did confirm that he already paid for his tab about an hour and a half ago, just after your short break.

Guess you're going home alone. So much for ' I'll be here till then' you mentally argued, frowning as you wiped off the last glass in the tray.

10:00 pm. You sighed and lazily grabbed your time card and let the huge metal clock record your departure. You felt your energy quickly deplete due to the dissappointment that is John MacTavish.

"See you on Monday!" you waved goodbye to your coworkers who seemed to notice your sudden loss of energy. You push the back door slowly and stepped outside. It was getting cold and you weren't prepared for it.

"Hey." A low scottish accent muttered just beside you, making you yelp in surprise.

"Holy crap, you scared the shit out of me!" you angrily punched his strong arm, hurting yourself in the process.

"I'm sorry." he spoke lazily, almost tired or drunk. You couldn't exactly tell, but it was far from his tone earlier. 

"Pretty chilly, eh?" you asked him, imitating his accent. Something that you always considered a major turn on when it comes to him.

"A little bit. And your impression is way off, I don't say it like that." he retorted nonchalantly making you worry if something happened while he was waiting.

"You seem a little off, what's the problem?" you asked, playfully bumping him while you walked the empty streets on your way home.

"It's just... uh.. Nevermind." he trailed off, his secrecy was making you impatient and you stopped on your tracks. He continued walking, looking down at the ground until he noticed you're no longer beside him.

He turned back. "You forgot something?" 

"I don't get you." you raised your voice. He slowly walked back to you until he's just inches away from your face.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I should've just asked..."

"Asked what? You told me you'd stay here till my shift is over and then you're gone like that?" you complained, the tone of your voice was demanding and you could see him flinch when words hurt.

"I didn't want to raise suspicion." 

"Who would be suspicious of you?!"

"Shortly after you left, I took a smoke. But I didn't do it by the smoking area. I was way up here, enjoying the breeze." he said, turning to the smoking area which was very visible from up here. Was he sad because he saw you and your manager by the smoking area? What kind of eyes did he have? You didn't want to assume things so you started to supply him with questions to fill in the blanks.

"And? Was the area too sad for you to be all emo like that all of a sudden?" you complained, soing your best impression of an angry person, but you know deep inside that you couldn't get angry at this man.

"Yeah. You could say that." he chuckled. He couldn't even look at you anymore.

"Bullshit." you retorted. He slowly tilted his head and smiled as soon as your eyes met. The view was so gorgeous you almost felt like the world was in slow motion.

"You don't have to believe me if you want. Why are you walking with me home anyway. You could've said no. I bet he has some nice fancy car to drive you home." he blurted, fog started to huff out of his mouth as the snow started to fall from the sky.

"Where are you going with this, John?" you spat, letting the emotions get the best of you. If only he was clear enough then this wouldn't have happened.

"I saw the two of you smiling while talking, I thought to myself. Yeah, she's happy with that bloke huh, I wish I knew that before I invited her earlier." he breathed out. You almost felt guilty, but it wasn't your fault. He easily assumed things that weren't even true.

"What made you think we're together? Just because we're smoking together doesn't mean we're in a relationship. Is that what you thought?" you replied, fighting back helping him on his way to the truth.

He paused, it's as if his whole thought process was shattered when your words stung him. 

"I got jealous. To be fair, I was gone for 4 years... I always thought you already found someone else within that time." he frowned. It was not usual of him to feel this vulnerable.

"Look-" you tried to explain but you suddenly felt his warm embrace wrapped around you.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered. The same words he said before leaving 4 years ago. The same words that hurt you back then and the same words that's going to hurt you at this moment. He was the one that got away, he was the one whom you shared your most magical moments with, but not the one who's going to be there until the end. He'll have to leave anytime soon, as his job requires him to save the world. You told him he could settle for less risky world saving endeavors but he insisted that this was his purpose. And you were not willing to let him choose again.

"You know... you're not supposed to feel jealousy." you consoled, rubbing his well sculpted back. 

"I know... I couldn't help it." he whispered. 

"Let's get you home, John." you whisper to him as he pulls away from you, his face pouted like a baby whose candy got stolen.

"Why are you here anyway?" you added.

"I'm getting reassigned to a new task force. I figured I could say goodbye to someone I hold dear." he smirked, he felt normal, but then again you couldn't help but feel that this would be the last time you'll be seeing him. You we're thinking he won't be able to travel freely back here anymore or worse, he'll be the hero the world wanted him to be.

[victor-of-latveria]

ooc  ... heavy things ...

So yeah, if mental issues are something you *don’t* want to read about, don’t click the readmore.

Yeah, so ... I’m sure those of you who still notice me (and thank you, those that do) have notice I’ve been gone for just over literally two months without a word. And I’m coming to realizations about things that I don’t like to talk about because they require me to take off the mask and leave myself open. I have noticed for some time now, years literally that I will burrow into a new project, devote mad energy to it, and then I will hit a point where ... everything goes grey.  When I mentally shut down.  Leaving things incomplete.  Projects incomplete.  Stories never finished.  Even in my computer gaming habits.  I’ll play through an RPG to nearly the end and then I’ll stop.  Switch gears.  By the time I get back, I feel the need to start over instead.  

And I’m seeing underlying threads here.  Some more obvious than others.  But they’re all part of it. Try for the perfect run.  Not even a completionist run, but literally like trying to scrape every ounce of resources out of a game beyond the point of reason to “be better prepared later”.   Restart.   Restart again.   And again.  Keep refining.  Keep abandoning. Never finishing.  Never putting it all out there to be seen and analyzed.   Because I am irrationally afraid.   Afraid of criticism, of abandonment.  Of having my work reviewed and deemed insufficient, and the irrational fear that as a result I will be abandoned.  Cast aside.  Castigated. Everything has to be perfect, so as soon as it isn’t, I have to start over.  Try again.  Get it right this time.  Get ir *righter*.  Make it more efficient.  Do it better. Do it better than the game requires / expects / was meant to handle. Do it so good that there will be nothing to criticize.  Nothing to shield myself from.  Hide from the pain.  From the vulnerability.  Abandon first. And it infects almost everything I do.  It’s why I go from no stress to ridiculous stress at work as soon as things start to snowball beyond my ability to handle.   And most relevant to here, I fear it is why I end up dropping story lines. Staring at a screen with nothing ... because I’m afraid.  I feel like I can’t keep up the awesome that things started with.  That I’m just going through the motions at best.  Call it imposter syndrome if you like; the effect is the same even though the underlying cause is different.  I will disappoint.  People will leave.   And I suppose, subconsciously, by stepping away as I keep doing, I’m making it easier on myself. Because if someone else leaves, it wasn’t *me*, right?  It’s bullshit of course, when I think about it rationally.   The behavior is hard to break.  It’s there.  The constant need to shield myself, to be flawed only superficially; to hide my desperation, my fear of abandonment, of castigation.  It’s my own mask, like my Victor Von Doom muse; my armor that hides my own disfigurement and that walls out the world without. It affects everything, even stupid things like voicing an opinion for where to eat when I’m with friends I’ve known for decades.  I could not be whom I needed to be the time the world almost literally dropped love into my lap.   I am broken.  I am trying to be less so, or to at least shift the pieces into a less painful configuration.  I have been falling into the same trap pattern; in retrospect, for decades and while my awareness of all of it is clearing, it is ... difficult to untangle.  To sort out.  And that selfsame urge means that when I suffer a setback, I’m all too tempted to just throw my hands in the air and give up on myself.  I can’t be perfect.  I’ll never be perfect.  (or even good, the ugly whisper says).  No matter how well I wear the mask, I’ll still get cut.   And I’m tired.  Tired of losing people either directly (rare) or as a result of the side effects of all of this.  My gifts turn to ash; melted silver buried in ashes.   And I know I’m not alone.  I have talked other people through similar situations before - as much because I don’t want other people to be caught in the pain of this pit as out of understanding of what it’s like.   And it has taken will just to write all of this, and even more to not just delete it unsent, or post it to “me only” on my wall.  and so I am going to post this now and put it out there.  Before I lose my nerve and just delete it all.

[janetbrown711]

Princess Angelina II was never fond of being told what to do.

Ever since she was a little girl, she loved being defiant. However, her parents were strict and had their ways of forcing her to do things anyway, so she adapted. If her parents wanted her to study? Fine, then she would read every book in the library and become far more intelligent than most of her teachers and would “smart ass” them constantly. Of course, her parents disapproved, but Angelina knew they technically couldn’t punish her this way, as she was doing what they asked after all. Still, she was aware that she was treading on thin ice, but she continued anyway, as it felt like the only thing keeping her sane. 

It was this mentality she carried with her during her least favorite activity of all: 

Meeting Suitors. 

The moment Angelina turned 16, her mother began arranging meeting after meeting with different princes and noblemen, all of which she hated. They were always so prideful and stuffy, they never had a sense of joy or humor in them. So, as was natural for her, she never refused to see them, but while they talked she’d always attack their pride and make sure they never wanted to see her again. She had hoped her actions would’ve given her a reputation as an “ineligible princess” but alas, rumors of her beauty and singing kept them coming. 

And so today Angelina found herself preparing yet again to meet with another boring suitor, this time a prince who was soon coming of age and was to rule the neighboring kingdom fo Ticktockia. Angelina spent several weeks reading up on the history of the country, as well as learning their customs, and knew she was ready by the time he arrived. 

“I don’t want you to play any funny games this time, Angelina. Ticktockia is a very important ally, and I don’t want you embarrassing my good name,” her mother, Queen Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca I, was quick to remind her right before the doors of the throne room were to open. Angelina wanted to roll her eyes, but didn’t have the energy or the time, as the doors were opened, and the prince entered. 

The prince of Ticktockia was a human, which she had expected. He was a particularly... interesting piece of work. He was growing a mustache, but he was very bad at it, and so it looked wispy and gross. his fashion sense was something else entirely, and he wore a giant clock on his chest, which Angelina recalled as the symbol of Ticktockia (as it was the meaning behind their name). 

“Hello,” He greeted her, but didn’t bow. Angelina rolled her eyes internally and curtsied. 

“Pleasure to meet you, sir,” She said. He only nodded in response. 

This was gonna be fun.

“Well, off you two go then,” Angelina the First waved the pair off, and Salazar held his arm out and Angelina took it, and they went off into the halls of the castle. 

“So... Prince... Salad bar is it?” Angelina asked. 

“Salazar,” He corrected, snappy. Angelina smirked. 

“Right, right, right, my apologies,” She said. “So... where are you from again?”

“Ticktockia, one of Warnerstock’s most important allies..? Surely you’ve heard of us,” He said, annoyed. 

“Not really, no,” She shrugged, removing her arm from his. 

“Oh please, we’ve made all of your clocks,” He pointed out. 

“Oh, those old things? They break every other week, we honestly should replace them all,” She lamented, internally pleased when she saw his anger rise and saw him desperately try to hide it. 

“Well then,” he huffed. “Perhaps I shouldn’t blame you, you are just a woman after all. I shouldn’t expect you to know the history of such an important country.” 

Oh he did not. 

“I can assure you Salazar, I know more of Ticktockia’s history than you do,” she warned. He smirked. 

“Sure you do,” He said. 

“Who was the 17th king?” She quizzed. Salazar paused to think. 

“King... Edmund?” He asked. Angelina shook her head. 

“King Raymond the Beloved. He helped create an era of peace in the land and helped create new trade routes for kingdoms all across the lands,” Angelina said. 

“Everyone knows King Raymond. I was simply... pretending not to know,” He so obviously lied. 

“Alright... who was the 20th king?” She asked. Salazar thought once more, stroking his gross wispy mustache. 

“Easy, King Walter,” He lifted his chin in the air. 

“Wrong. It’s your father, King Jonathan,” She said with a condescending smile. Salazar glared at her. 

“Well I never,” He huffed and crossed his arms. 

“Never what? Studied anything in your life? Because that’s something I’d believe. I mean, come on, who doesn’t know their own father?” She snorted. Salazar looked at her with disgust. 

“You are very unladylike,” He said. 

“It’s an art,” She replied.  

“Mhm,” He mumbled, continuing their walk through the castle once more. 

“So.. tell me... what about your kingdom do you know?” She asked. 

“We’re the number one supplier of clocks in the world,” He stated. 

“Right, but other kingdoms are coming up close behind, so I’d keep a close eye on that if I were you,” Angelina pointed out. 

“Ridiculous,” He scoffed. 

“Oh, but it really isn’t. Your methods are old and outdated and so people from the outside have worked on improving your old designs and they’re only becoming better and better,” Angelina said nonchalantly. Salazar’s eye twitched. 

“You know, this really isn’t the way you should talk to your betrothed,” He snarled. 

“Betrothed? What on earth makes you think we’re betrothed?” Angelina jumped in surprise. 

“I was invited here, no?” He eyed her up and down. “I was promised a bride, and seeing as you’re the prettiest one around and I was invited, we’re betrothed,” he said, placing a hand on her waist, to which she then jumped back and away. 

“Hate to break it to you, dimwit, but that’s not how this works.” She outright glared at him. 

“Oh please, there’s no sense in fighting it,” He rolled his eyes. “I want you, and so you’re going to be mine. Nobody says no to me.”

“Oh I’m sure they do, you probably just ignore it or are too much of a moron to see it,” She spat. 

“I am not a moron.” He raised his voice, but Angelina wasn’t frightened. 

“Sure. And my name isn’t actually Angelina,” She rolled her eyes. “Get real, you know almost nothing about your own kingdom’s history, and I’m sure if I wanted to bore myself further I’d discover you know nothing of Warnerstock, and it’s very apparent you haven’t a single clue of manners or decency in front of a princess.” 

“I. Am. Not. A. Moron,” He clenched his fist. 

“Oh please! If I were to look up the word ‘moron’ in the dictionary, it would have a picture of you. I mean- assuming you’re betrothed to me just because my mother invited you here? My mother may hate my guts, but she’d never do that,” Angelina smirked.

“I can have anything I want, just watch me,” He growled, stepping towards her, and Angelina realized just how much taller he was than her. 

“You’re nothing more than an arrogant, stupid, brainless, spoiled baby that hasn’t heard ‘no’ nearly enough in his life,” She defied him, and he raised his hand and struck her across the face so hard, she fell to the floor with a loud thud. 

Angelina laid on the ground a moment, realizing what just happened, feeling the sting and burn in her cheek. Slowly, she sat herself up. 

“You hit me,” She looked up at him. He dusted off his hand. 

“You’re truly a disgusting creature, Angelina.” he scowled. “I showed you nothing but decency, and you lash out like the vicious animal you are.”

Not even wanting to dignify his bullshit, she instead called for the royal guards. Salazar’s eyes widened as four guards came into the room from their posts, and upon seeing their princess on the floor with a newfound bruise and the neighbor prince red in the face with anger, they were quick to separate the two. 

“I won’t forget about this Angelina. I’ll be back, and I’ll make sure to give you hell once I’m in charge,” He declared for all to hear as he was escorted out. Angelina shuddered as she was helped up by one of the guards. 

“You alright, Princess?” He asked. 

“I’m fine,” She said, not wanting to get into it. 

Despite the stinging in her cheek, she had done what she had to. 

“Just take me to my mother, I’m sure she’ll be delighted to hear about this,” Angelina sighed. The guards nodded and she was escorted to her mother’s private study. She knocked on it once before entering. 

“Angelina, why am I not surprised?” Her mother didn’t look up from her paperwork, shaking her head. “What happened?”

“He had to leave early,” Angelina said. 

“He just barely arrived,” The queen remarked, before looking up at her daughter’s face and frowning. 

“Angelina, what did I tell you? I told you you had to be on your best behavior and you deliberately disobeyed me,” She set down her work. 

“Well gee, I’m sorry alright?” She rolled her eyes. 

“You and I both know that isn’t true. Honestly Angelina, why do you feel the need to sully the kingdom’s good name like this?” Angelina the First rubbed her forehead and stood. 

“Because it’s dumb. All of this is. The suitors, the manners, It’s just so dumb,” She complained. 

“Angelina, I’m not having this conversation again,” The queen stated. “These rules and rituals are tradition. You don’t have a choice. One day you will marry a suitor I picked out for you, whether it makes you happy or not.”

“I’d sooner die,” Angelina glared. 

“If you had any sense in you, you’d learn to bite your tongue, Angelina. Or do you want to be hit a second time today?” The queen raised her hand with her wedding ring on it and Angelina flinched. The queen smirked a little. 

“That’s what I thought,” She said, before sighing and returning to her paperwork. 

“We’ll have to reschedule the other suitors I had planned to visit this month until that bruise heals. We can’t have rumors spread,” She said, writing something down. If she had been feeling better, Angelina would’ve smiled. Her mother went silent a long moment, the only noise being the scratch of her quill touching the paper. Eventually her mother looked up at her, with an expression that looked like a mix of disgust, tiredness, and annoyance. 

“You can go now,” She said. Angelina curtsied for her mother, and then left.

For a while, Angelina found herself wandering the halls of the castle as she rubbed her bruise lightly. She knew she had done what she had to, but she still felt dazed. Perhaps it was from hitting her head, but she felt... odd. Light headed was the best term she could think to describe it. 

It wasn’t too long before Angelina noticed that she had wandered into the garden. That was good. The flowers and fountains did a lot to clear her mind on days like these. Eventually, she made her way to the middle, and sat down on the bench and watched fountain and birds that stopped to bathe in it. She couldn’t be sure of what she was feeling, but whatever it was, it was a lot.  

After awhile of just sitting there, a familiar voice called out, and Angelina looked up and felt herself revive a little. 

“Angelina! There you are,” William smiled and ran to sit down next to her. 

“Hi,” She smiled and scooted over so there was room. 

“How was your- oh my... what happened?” William gasped, referring to the bruise. 

“O-oh it was nothing, really,” Angelina brushed it off. 

“You’re hurt Lena,” He frowned with concern. Angelina took in a deep breath and sighed. 

“A suitor visited today- Prince Salazar of Ticktockia. I pushed things a little too far this time and well... he got pretty mad. And now my mother is pissed that I managed to make one of our strongest allies hate my guts,” Angelina chuckled sadly. 

“Lena... I’m so sorry. That’s terrible,” William said, his eyes watering. Angelina didn’t know how to respond. 

“William- I’m okay. Really. I’m used to it,” She tried to laugh it off. 

“You’re used to it?” His concern only grew and Angelina bit her words. 

“I-i mean...” She sighed. “You know my mother by now. I’m used to this.”

“Lena, I’m so sorry. Nobody should ever, ever hit you, especially your own mother,” William said. 

“Thank you William,” She smiled tiredly at him. 

“Lena, I swear to you, so long as I live, I’ll never let anyone hurt you like this ever again,” He held her hand and kneeled on the ground. 

“W-william, I-i don’t know what to say,” She sniffled, and realized her own eyes were starting to fill with tears. Quickly, she wiped them away. William then stood and pulled her into a tight and loving embrace. At first, Angelina was hesitant, but she chose to embrace it, and she hugged him back, and found herself quickly sobbing into his shoulder. 

“It’s okay Lena, I’m here. It’s okay. I won’t let anyone hurt you anymore,” he promised, and Angelina believed him. She felt safe in his arms, and never ever wanted to let go. She wanted to stay with him forever, safe and happy and secure. She knew he’d never hurt her, ever. 

She loved him. 

Princess Angelina the Second was in love with William. 

She smiled a little and embraced him even more. 

No matter what her mother tried to do or who she tried to set her up with, Angelina knew she was in love with William, and nothing was ever going to change that. 

[lindsayrises]

Hey!

So it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything.

I feel like summer is basically over (it’s not, but it feels that way).  I worked in my classroom Thursday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday the 15/16/17/18.  All day plan/work/team meeting on Monday the 19th.  Professional development in the morning and work in my classroom in the afternoon on Tuesday the 20th.  JumpStart (for incoming first graders) Wednesday and Thursday mornings, the 21st and 22nd.  Plan/work/team meetings the afternoons of Wed/Thurs the 21/22.

Two days ago (Monday) I had a day-long professional development session.  Yesterday (Tuesday) I had professional development in the morning.  Tomorrow I have professional development in the afternoon.

Next week is my last week of summer.  Where the fuck did summer go?

I had to move classrooms over the summer.  I have gotten rid of so.much.stuff.  It feels good, and I am feeling better about this new classroom (that feels smaller and definitely has less storage).

I had planned on going through everything in my basement again this summer (last time was 2018).  I have stuff down here I don’t even know that I have.  I don’t even want to deal with selling stuff.  I just want it gone.  I definitely prefer to do projects in big chunks of time, but I might have to try to switch that mentality and work in small sections in the evenings once school starts.

I decluttered and deep cleaned every room upstairs (main level).  I have so many boxes of things to donate.  Again, it feels so good!

I finally got around to doing genetic testing to see if I have an increased cancer risk.  I tested negative!  Yay!  Such a huge relief.  My mom died of ovarian cancer.  My dad had cancer.  I found out in the past 6 months or so that when my mom did genetic testing (a few months before she died) she tested positive.  I had to wait a few weeks for the results.  I was obviously hoping it would be negative, but I was also preparing myself for the news that it might be positive.  

I still spend too much money.

I still drink too much Dr. Pepper.

I still eat too much fast food and other crappy food.

I still don’t exercise as much.

For several weeks this summer I went to therapy twice a week.  Sometimes I feel like I must not want to change my lifestyle and things in my life badly enough, or I would have by now.

I recently watched the original Full House all the way through.  Now I’m watching Fuller House.  It makes me laugh and reminds me of much much much simpler times when I was a kid.

Ramsey is doing well!  I took him to the vet today for a check up and the vets LOVED him!  He did so good!  I bought him some new toys after his appointment.

It’s hot here.  I do not enjoy the heat.

I need to stop prioritizing EVERYTHING/ANYTHING else above my health.  It’s bullshit.  I feel like I hyperfocus on one thing and don’t think about anything else.

I’ve had some eye-opening text exchanges with one of my best friends who is currently living in Italy....focusing on self-care, self-love, taking better care of my health.

I feel incredibly lucky to have so many good friends and family in my life.  That includes Tumblrs!  I have had to lean on so many people this summer for different things.  I will be forever grateful for those who are there for me.

I had a two hour phone conversation with a good friend today.  It was needed.

I’ve been using TV/Hulu/Netflix to numb out way too much lately.  I can be really hard on myself, but sometimes I think I’m too easy on myself.  Like, if I don’t want to do something, I just won’t do it (or if I do want something, I’ll get it/do it)...and then I think it’s taking care of myself.  Um, no, Lindsay.  That’s not how it works.  Getting Dairy Queen because you’re sad IS NOT SELF-CARE!  Skipping Orange Theory because you’re tired IS NOT SELF-CARE!

I have no concept of delayed gratification.  I basically make decisions like a child.

I want what I don’t have.  I don’t jog or walk because it’s boring, so then I start back at Orange Theory. That lasts a few weeks and then I wish I were jogging/walking and not doing Orange Theory.  

Hmmm....I thought I had more to write.

Basically, same shit, different day/week/month/year.

[mermaidsneedwater]

he cheated on you

⇒ jaebeom

“Y/N, stop can we please talk about this?”

“I have nothing to say to you.” You continued packing your stuff up in the suitcase, preparing to leave.

You’d confronted Jaebeom about his affair with one of the staff on tour with him and his refusal to deny its existence was enough to let you know that it was true. Your blood boiled as you watched him shift uncomfortably at the confrontation. You just needed to leave.

“You have to understand, on tour... it gets rough. You’re in a foreign place with just your members and staff. Every night I was in different city and I just missed you so much.” Jaebeom said, his head hanging low. “I knew it was a mistake and I never should’ve let it happen.”

Continuing to pack, you spoke as tears threatened to spill out, “You’re right. You shouldn’t have. If you were going to accidentally slip your dick into somebody else, you should’ve broken up with me so that I wouldn’t waste the last six months of my life waiting for you like an idiot!”

“Baby, please. I’m begging you. Don’t go, I know I fucked up, but I-I don’t exist without you.” Jaebeom sunk to his knees, his head bowing down.

You had never seen Jaebeom like this, so distraught, so desperate. It almost broke your heart, but the minute he decided to betray you like this all bets were off. How could you be with someone you couldn’t trust?

Zipping you your suitcase you rolled it towards the door, “Well you really should’ve thought of that before you cheated on me.”

⇒ mark

You giggled as you walked the hallways of the JYP building, making your way to the GOT7 practice room. Dialing Mark’s number, you held the phone to your ear as you waited for him to pick up.

“Hello?” Mark answered.

“Hi babe, I just wanted to ask what time you’d be home. I’m making dinner tonight for your birthday!”

“Oh um, tonight we’re actually working late on the new comeback. Can we do dinner tomorrow?”

“But Mark, your birthday is today!” You frowned.

“It’s okay, really, as long as I celebrate with you I don’t care when we do the dinner.” Mark replied with ease. “Don’t wait up for me.”

He ended the phone call before you could say anything else. That was strange, he always ended his calls with I love you. Shrugging away your doubts you held the balloons and cupcake box in your hand getting ready for his surprise.

Before you could enter the practice room you heard two voices, Mark’s and another girl’s.

“Was that her?” The girl asked, unimpressed. “She’s so clingy.”

“Yeah, it’s fine though I got her off my back for the night so we can go out.” Mark replied nonchalantly, “so baby, where should we go tonight? I am the birthday boy.”

The girl giggled and you heard them kiss. Horrified, you dropped the box and balloons and bolted down the hallway. He was cheating on you!?

— later that day —

Mark pulled out his keys, slowly opening the door. After his night out, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed. As he walked around in the house, it seemed like you’d changed things around, he made a mental note to ask you about what you did. Turning on the bedroom light, he was surprised to find the bed neatly made with a note on your bedside table.

Happy Birthday Mark, this year I figured I should actually grant you your wish. Your freedom. This afternoon I went to drop off a birthday gift, but from what I overheard I realized that our relationship wasn’t what you truly wanted. At least now we can both move on with our lives and be with who we actually want to be with. Don’t bother trying to call me, I’ve changed my number. I hope now you can finally be happy, Y/N

Mark rushed to the your dresser to find all your stuff gone. He tried the bathroom and found all of his stuff as he left it, but yours had vanished. Running to the living room he turned on the lights to realize you hadn’t redecorated the apartment, you’d erased yourself from it.

Sinking to the ground he felt like a hole had been punched through his chest. What had he done?

⇒ jackson

“How could you do this to me?” You asked heartbroken. “Why did you do this to me?”

Jackson wanted to race over and scoop you up in his arms and assure you it wasn’t your fault, it was his for being so stupid. But he couldn’t. He knew that he had to give you your space.

“I’m sorry Y/N,” He said quietly. “It didn’t mean anything.”

“It means something to me!” You cried. “Of all the women in the world you just had to sleep with my best friend?!”

“You were gone, and I felt so useless after my last album tanked.” Jackson admitted. “I just wanted to feel good about myself.”

“Fuck you.” You spat out bitterly. “This wasn’t about you, it was about me. You just couldn’t live with the fact that you failed, and you had to drag me down with you. You slept with her just so you could hurt me. Well guess what? Mission accomplished. I want nothing to do with you”

And finally Jackson had stepped back to see the damage he had done. He’d absolutely wrecked the woman he claimed to love, and the effects were irreversible.

“Get out! Get out now!” You screamed at him.

⇒ jinyoung

You sat numb at the foot of your bed as Jinyoung frantically tried to explain the situation. You hadn’t meant to look at his phone, but when he was in the shower he’d gotten a text.

Thinking nothing of it you unlocked his phone to find an unknown number messaging him a picture with the caption, ‘I can’t wait to repeat what happened last week xoxo’. The picture was a selfie of some girl in her lingerie. When Jinyoung heard the thump of his phone hit the floor, he quickly ran out of the shower alarmed at what had happened. When you looked at him he knew, you’d caught him.

“Sweetheart, it’s not what it looks like.” He said calmly approaching you.

“It looks like you’ve been having fun.” You replied staring at the wall ahead of you as if it was the most interesting thing you’d ever seen.

He knelt down in front of you, slowly attempting to take your hand in his.

You jerked your hand back as if he’d burnt you. “Don’t.” You said as you gritted your teeth. “Don’t touch me.”

“Swee–Y/N, please, she’s just some fan who got my number.” His voice sounded desperate.

“You’re lying.” You looked at him, he looked taken aback when he saw that the warmth in your eyes were long gone. “Tell me the truth.”

“Okay, okay. We slept together once, and I swear I was going to end it but she was just so relentless–“

“Don’t Jinyoung.” You held up your hand, having heard enough of this bullshit you stopped him. “Stop trying to act like a victim. You’re a grown man. You wanted to have an affair and you did.”

You wiped the tear rolling down your face that you didn’t realize was there. “I’m done with you. I’m leaving now, but I’ll come get my things eventually.”

“Y/N please! Stop.” He stood up to go after you.

“I can’t even look at you right now.” You kept walking towards the front door. “Have a nice life. We’re done.”

⇒ youngjae

“What the hell is this?” You show Youngjae the article of him.

The headline reads, JYP Entertainment... Company or Matchmaking Service? GOT7’s Youngjae and TWICE’s Mina spotted holding hands.

“Y/N, you’re being so crazy.” Youngjae scoffed. “You know that this is from last week, it’s just a publicity stunt to promote our comeback.”

“Have you seen these photos Youngjae? Your holding hands, your hand is on her thigh in this one.” You remarked, “It doesn’t seem like a publicity stunt to me.”

“I can’t even talk to you right now, you’re so controlling.” He said bitterly. Walking away, he closed the bedroom door.

Was he right? Were you being crazy?

— two weeks later —

After finishing your morning targets, you were excited to head home early. Relax with the TV, maybe cook some dinner, the possiblities seem infinite.

As you entered your home you could hear moans.

“Oh yes!” A girl cries out.

What the fuck...

You can hear the creeking of the bed through the wall. You walk slowly to your bedroom to see the scene unfolding.

Youngjae and Mina screwing in your bed.

“I fucking knew it.” You said.

“Y/N oh my god!” Youngjae yelled. He struggled to get out of bed and chase after you. Putting on his sweats he caught up to you.

“You called me crazy and controlling!” You cried out. “You’re so fucking sick.”

Youngjae grabbed your arm, “Y/N, please darling.”

“Don’t call me that! Just don’t call me at all.” You yanked your arm out of his grip and continued walking out. “I can’t believe I trusted you. I knew you were cheating on me.”

⇒ bambam

It was supposed to be a fun night out. But here you were on a Saturday night, back at your house with Bambam. As you helped Bambam with the black eye Yugyeom had gifted him, the knot in your stomach grew.

You were at the club with Bambam, Yugyeom and his friend from SM Entertainment, enjoying the music and some drinks. Yugyeom couldn’t stop glaring at Bambam, his eyes fixed on him the entire night.

“Are you and Yugyeom okay?” You leaned into Bambam’s ear.

“Yeah, we’re fine. We just had a rough week.” He brushed it off, “Do you want a drink?”

“Yes please,” you nodded “you pick.”

As soon as he stood up, Yugyeom followed. “Are you getting a drink? I’ll go with you.”

You watched as the two friends walked to the bar, leaning against the counter. You watched as they conversed, the exchange seemingly getting more tense.

You turned to Yugyeom’s friend “I’m gonna go check on them.”

As you headed up to the bar, you caught the tailend of their conversation.

“I’m fucking tired of this shit Bam, if you don’t tell her, I will.” Yugyeom threatened.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Bambam brushed him off.

That set Yugyeom off, he turned to Bambam and swung at his right eye.

“Oh my god! Yugyeom, what the hell!” You yelled.

Yugyeom watched as Bambam stumbled back from the impact of the punch. “This night was a bad idea. I’m leaving.”

You watched as he headed to his friend and they took off from the club.

You turned to Bambam, “Let’s go home.”

That was how you ended up tending to the big bruise on his face. No doubt JYP was going to have questions about that on Monday. Still, your mind couldn’t help but drift to what Yugyeom said, if you don’t tell her, I will.

As you finished helping Bambam, you watched him retreat to your room.

“Bam...” you started, “what was Yugyeom talking about?”

“Huh? What are you saying?” He turned around, confused.

“At the club, he said if you don’t tell her, I will. What was he talking about?”

“Oh you heard that?” Bambam replied, “He was drunk, he didn’t know what he was saying, hell, he even punched me so that should tell you how sober he was feeling.”

“Bam, he had one beer. He wasn’t drunk. Clearly whatever this is about upset him enough to take it out on you,” You pressed. “I want to know.”

“Y/N, back off. It’s none of your business.” He dismissed you. “Drop it.”

“Don’t talk to me like that,” you snapped. “I’m not some obedient housepet that you can order around. It was clearly about me and I want to know.”

“Fine, you want to know? I’ve been seeing someone behind your back.” He snapped angrily. “Yugyeom wanted me to tell you.”

And just like that, the genie had been released from the bottle. Everyone knows once it’s out, you can’t put it back in.

“What?” You were in disbelief.

As the realization he’d confessed to his sin washed over him, Bambam’s tone shifted. “Bae, I-“

As he struggled to find the words, you began to laugh. Of course he was cheating on you. It was time to finally face the fact that your relationship had been spiraling downwards for a long time.

“Are you laughing right now?” He asked, his eyebrows raised. “I can’t be-“

“No. It’s my turn to speak.” You stopped him.

As he sat on the couch you realized that this was it. This was the beginning of the end.

“This relationship has been torpedoing towards the end at 150 miles per hour, and we’ve just been prolonging it. Honestly I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out sooner, you’ve been so distant and sharp with me.”

“I-“ Bambam started.

You held up a hand signaling you didn’t want to hear it. “You were never like this, I just kept convincing myself that it was the stress. But it was you, and me. We changed.” You mused aloud. “And now here we are. Your best friend punched you in the face and I’m laughing at the fact that you’re cheating on me.”

In a sort of haze you felt your feet carry you to the door. “I need to go.”

“Wait Y/N, where are you going?” Bambam asked, his voice full of concern.

“I don’t know, I just have to leave.” You stated, as you headed out the door.

⇒ yugyeom

This was it. Now or never. You walked into the cafe, as you spotted her. The woman you thought Yugyeom was cheating on you with.

You stood behind her in line as your mind raced with questions. Who was she? How far had she gone with him? Did she love him like you? When did all this start?

“Miss? Are you ready to order?” You awoke from your daydream as you realized the woman had already ordered and it was your turn. Rushing to the register, you ordered the first thing that came to mind “Hi, can I get an Ice Choco?”

Rushing to stand next to the woman, you dropped your wallet. She knelt down to pick it up and hand it to you.

“Here you go,” she smiled.

“Oh thank you,” you nodded uncomfortably. As you reached out to take the wallet, she noticed your bracelet, an anniversary gift from Yugyeom.

“Oh hey! I have the same bracelet. My boyfriend got it for me.” She commented. “Men, of course they shop from the same places.”

“Oh yeah,” you agreed. Nervous, you fiddled with the bracelet, “So your boyfriend got it for you?”

“Yeah, he gave it to me a couple of weeks ago. We actually only started seeing each other two months prior.” She beamed.

“Oh wow, so you’re a new couple?” You asked.

“Well, I’ve known him for a pretty long time. I’m actually a backup dancer at JYP.”

Your heart sunk, you knew that this wasn’t a coincidence. “Wow that’s very cool.”

“Yeah, I’m actually supposed to be meeting him here,” she lowered her voice to a whisper “he’s in the group GOT7!”

Okay, maybe it’s not Yugyeom, maybe it’s Bambam, or Youngjae, or... As your brain tried to rationalize the situation, you couldn’t deny what you saw with your own eyes. 

Yugyeom at the door of the cafe.

As he registered the fact that you and the girl were in the same cafe talking to each other his eyes froze on you.

“Gyeomie!” The girl squealed. “I just made a friend, I think she’s a fan.”

As you watched Yugyeom swallow, he slowly walked over to you.

“Y/N,” Yugyeom started.

“Wait... you two know each other?” The girl asked.

“He’s the one who gave me my bracelet.” You answered. You took off the wretched item and placed it on the counter.

“One ice choco!” The barista called out.

“If you haven’t gotten the memo,” you said taking the drink from the counter, “we’re over.”

You uncapped the drink and threw it in his face, storming off from the cafe.

return to masterlist

[ragingbookdragon]

Enemies To Lovers To Married

A Haytham Kenway x Reader One-shot

Word Count: 1,730 Warnings: Explicit Language (A lot lol), and kinda saucy?

Author’s Note: Straight up was tempted to call this, ‘Watch Your Profanity’, not gonna lie. Enjoy! -Thorne

“Aye, it’s been a long time since I’ve had to do a speech.” The Irishman chuckled nervously, glancing at the crowd. “I don’t know if I’ve got a good one prepared.”

           The crowd laughed with him and a voice piped up, “Do your best Shay. I’ll fill in where you lose track.”

           Another ripple of chuckles sounded through the audience and Shay looked down at the woman dressed in a beautiful white gown. “That you will, (Y/N).” His eyes drifted back to the crowd and he quipped, “You know, I expected to be Haytham’s best man, but I didn’t count on having to be my best friend’s maid-of-honor too.” Howling laughter spread through the room and he eyed the couple who were almost in tears at that point; Shay smiled. “I guess I should start with the moment the two of them met.”

***

           He let out a long sigh, relaxing into the chair as the spiced wine warmed his body. A snort sounded beside him. “Comfortable, Shay?”

           His eyes opened and he lolled his head enough to see the man sitting at the head of the table. “Aye, Master Haytham…I am.” Shay crossed a heavy leather boot over the other. “I feel like it’s been years since I sat down and actually enjoyed a drink.”

           Haytham hummed in agreement, taking a sip of his own wine. “I concur. It’s been awhile since I haven’t had so much to take care of.” His steel eyes drifted to the Assassin-Hunter. “You’ve taken on quite a load of work since joining the order.”

           Shay nodded, crossing his arms comfortably across his chest. “Aye. I know Colonel Monro must’ve spent a great deal of resources to get me in. I’d like to repay it back.”

           “You seem to keep the opinion that you owe everyone something.” Haytham regarded him with a knowing look. “Keep that mentality, and it’ll be the end of you.”

           “I don’t know about that sir. I seem to—”

           His words were cut off by the tavern doors slamming open against the walls, followed by an enraged voice. “Where the hell is he?! I know he’s in here!”

           Their attention turned to the entrance and they saw a young woman entering, eyes wildly following the crowd until they landed on the two Templars.

           She raised her sword to them, no, Shay and shouted, “You absolute fucker!”

           The Irish Templar rose, partially elated, the other half shocked. “(Y/N)! You’re back!” She started after him menacingly, and immediately he backpedaled, shifting until Haytham was between the two of them. “Wait lass, I know you’re upset! But—”

           “Upset?!” She howled. “I get back from a three-year deployment in Europe to find that you’ve fucked off and joined the Templars! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” His mouth opened but she pointed the sword at him again. “Don’t answer that you jackass! It’s fucking rhetorical! I already know what’s fucking wrong with you!” Her eyes momentarily drifted to the Grandmaster sitting rather bewildered between the arguing two. (Y/N) smiled, rather politely saying, “Afternoon, Grandmaster Haytham.”

           He tipped his head in acknowledgement. “Good afternoon.”

           (Y/N) looked back at Shay. “When I get a hold of you—”

           “Just let me explain!” Shay shouted, hands raised in defense. Before she could reply, he speedily stated, “Long story short, the Assassins are meddling with Precursor temples and causing devastating earthquakes and they won’t stop! I tried to leave with the information, and they shot me in the back and left me for dead!”

           Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Are you lying to me, Shay Patrick Cormac?”

           He shook his head. “Never.” (Y/N) lowered the sword and Shay cautiously stepped around the table, though his hands were still raised defensively. “You know me, (Y/N). I’d never lie to you.”

           She stared at him for a moment then dropped the sword and jerked forward, wrapping her arms around his waist. “God, you fucking idiot.”

           Shay smiled, wrapping his arms around her back. He buried his face in her hair. “I know, I know.”

           “I was so fucking worried about you when I got back. Achilles and Hope and Liam, all of them spouting three different versions of the same story and you were nowhere to be found.”

           “Aye,” he murmured, heart hurting at the mention of his old friends. “I know.”

           (Y/N) pulled away and grasped his shoulders, staring him straight in the eyes, before inquiring seriously, “Is this the best path for you, Shay?”

           His expression turned solemn and he said, “It’s the only one I can now walk.” She watched him a moment then pulled away and reached down, undoing the sash that carried her Assassin symbol on it. “Lass?” he questioned.

She didn’t say anything, simply walking over to the fire, the people moving out of her way instantly, and threw it in, watching it burn. (Y/N) took a deep breath and let her shoulders fall, before moving back over to him. “Then it’s one I’ll walk alongside you.”

           Shay’s eyes went wide and all he could say was her name. “(Y/N).”

           Her eyes drifted to Haytham and she nodded at him. “Permission to be assigned to the Morrigan, Grandmaster.”

           Haytham regarded her with a suspicious look. “I don’t know if you’re trustworthy yet. But before I even get to that, your language is utterly deplorable for a lady.”

           Shay’s jaw dropped and he looked at the leader of their order. “Sir, I wouldn’t—”

           (Y/N) leaned forward, swiping Haytham’s wine glass from it’s resting table. She downed it in one go and set it back down, retorting, “Then I guess your tight-ass should get used to it.”

           “Excuse me?” Haytham dared.

           She nodded. “You’re excused bitch. Don’t let the door hit you on your way out.”

           Shay put his head in his hands, deadpanning, “Oh dear God.”

***

           “And honestly, I’m entirely surprised the two of them managed to even form a relationship, because she made Haytham so angry that he challenged her to a duel less than ten minutes after that. And I still don’t know who won it!”

           The crowd roared with laughter, looking towards the couple who were sitting with their heads in their hands, shoulders shaking with humor. (Y/N) was the first to look up. “I can’t believe that’s what you started with!”

           Shay shrugged and a grin crossed his lips. “What else was I supposed to start with? The time you two got into a fistfight over social etiquette?” He gestured to the two of them. “I swear to God the two of you turned to love through hate.” His eyes went wide, and he looked at the audience, gasping, “It’s an enemies to lovers story!”

           The crowd went wild at that and Haytham looked up, his cheeks tinged red with embarrassment. “Don’t you have any other story to tell?”

           The Irishman looked at them and smirked. “Oh, I’ve got loads.” He turned to the crowd. “Let me tell you how (Y/N) proposed in the middle of a hurricane while we were fighting another ship.”

***

           The door shut behind them and before he could even ask her how she was feeling, she was faceplanting onto the bed, a muffled groan resounding from her. Haytham chuckled and sat down at the foot of the bed, unlacing his shoes. “Tired, darling?”

           (Y/N) made no effort to move save for turning her head to look at him. “Mhm…and drunk.”

           He smiled and pulled a boot off before toeing the other one in suit. “You did drink quite a bit with Shay.”

           “Irish tradition.” A smirk crossed her lips and she playfully quipped, “Why? Jealous?”

           A rare snort came from him and he looked back at her. “Hardly.”

           “Oh ho?” she dared. “And what makes you so confident?”

           Haytham laid back against the bed, gazing into her eyes. “Because I’m the one who holds your heart in my hands.” (Y/N)’s mouth fell open and she simply stared at him; he reached up, the back of his fingers brushing her cheek as he admitted, “I never thought I’d meet another who understood me like you do, (Y/N).” He sighed. “I…am not the easiest man to be with. Your life will be difficult as my wife. Not just with the elite, but with the Order. We will sometimes have to make difficult choices. Ones we would regret for the rest of our lives if we had to do so.” He met her eyes once more. “And yet…I can’t bring myself to admit that I would willingly choose them over you.” He rolled on his side, cupping her cheek with his hand. “You change…everything (Y/N).” A tear fell across his thumb and he wiped it away. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

           (Y/N) shook her head, shutting her eyes as more tears fell. “No,” she murmured, “I’m not sad.” She opened her eyes and brought her hand up, cupping his cheek in a mirrored movement. “I’m just…” Her words fell short.

           “Just…what?” Haytham inquired.

           (Y/N) swallowed thickly, admitting, “I’ve never been so loved before.” A smile grew on her lips. “I’m simply overwhelmed with emotion.”

           “Good, I hope?”

           “Always.” She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, murmuring, “Or maybe you’re just super fucking drunk and sappy.”

           Haytham pulled away and barked a laugh. “Now there’s the (Y/N) I know.”

           (Y/N) giggled and pulled away, beginning to undo the laces of her dress. “You were just waiting for me to use profanity, weren’t you, Haytham?”

           “You wouldn’t be you if you couldn’t say fuck.”

           Her head whipped up from her unlacing, a shocked look on her face. “I am shocked and scandalized, Haytham Kenway, did you just say what I think you said?”

           He offered her an innocent look. “I don’t have the slightest idea about what you’re talking about, (Y/N).”

           She scoffed and forwent her laces, climbing onto the bed beside him. “No, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You just said fuck.”

           “I would never.”

           “Bullshit.”

           “Such profanity from my darling wife.”

           “Oh, you haven’t heard profanity yet, my darling husband.”

           Haytham’s eyes narrowed dangerously and he leaned towards her, but she fell back against the pillows. He followed her, trapping her beneath him. “Oh? And when will I hear such profanity?”

           (Y/N) grinned and raised a hand, tipping his chin up as she retorted, “When you fuck me.”

[pandoraborn]

Cruelty of the Beast - Part 14

( previous. )

-----

Characters: c!Quackity, c!Puffy, c!Tommy, c!Dream, c!Wilbur, c!Ranboo, c!Techno, c!Phil Word count: 2019 Content: blood, injury, mild blood loss, talk of war, talk of murder, tommy embraces his dark side, dark!fic,

-----

Quackity fumbles for the bandages, swearing under his breath. The anger from earlier never faded, and it’s only increasing with each passing moment. He hadn’t been sure what to expect when patrolling the greater SMP, but Quackity had never expected Technoblade to show up and give him another thrashing. He hadn’t succeeded in killing Quackity again, but he had certainly tried. Quackity had managed to flee after receiving a large gash on his arm, but he feels smug over the fact he’d manage to wedge an arrow into Techno’s collarbone.

He’s at the community center, grabbing whatever he can for bandages and healing. His hands tremble too much for him to be effective, but the thought of waking anyone up or disturbing them doesn’t sit well with him. Quackity wants to handle this alone, the others can worry in the morning.

The sound of shuffling comes behind him, and Quackity spares Puffy a quick glance before going back to treating his wounds. Of all the people to come find him right now, he wishes it wasn’t her. Quackity feels like she’s too gentle with the teenagers, wouldn’t see enough reason.

“Quackity?” Puffy’s voice is gentle. “Come with me to Snowchester, we can help you better.” She’s only irritating him more. If only she’d been around earlier, she’d have seen the mess and where everyone actually stands.

“They have Techno on their side,” Quackity says gruffly. “Also, Tubbo is wrong about Tommy.” He shoots her a glare through his peripheral vision. It’s not her fault, but he’s angry at her all the same. “It’s worse than we thought.”

There’s no response from Puffy at first. Quackity dimly wonders if she’s walked off, but he can feel her hands on him a second later. Quackity doesn’t jerk back, he lets her take over the bandaging, but he stares at her with his good eye.

“What are you talking about?” She finally asks. “I think Tubbo would know the most about Tommy, considering how close they used to be. Tommy also wouldn’t willingly work with Techno if he really is working with them.”

“I caught Tommy and Ranboo planting explosives around the perimeter,” Quackity snaps. “Tommy was ordering Ranboo to get rid of me, and then after I accidentally shot him-”

“You shot Tommy?” Puffy’s grip tightens painfully. Wincing, Quackity tries to jerk his arm back, but her grip is holding strong. “What were you thinking Quackity? That’s Tommy!”

“Do you really think Tommy would disappear all this time and not come back with some warped thinking?” Quackity asks pointedly. “He’s with Wilbur, remember?”

“He’s a child,” Puffy protests. “He needed the most help out of all of us, and...” she trails off, biting at her lip. She resumes bandaging up Quackity’s arm, breathing slowly. Quackity watches her eyes glisten with unshed tears. Anger fading, Quackity shakes his head. He shouldn’t be angry at Puffy. She loved Tommy, he knows. Her and Sam and even Eret had all loved Tommy in their own ways, and circumstances had constantly prevented them from actually offering help.

“He said he was tired,” Quackity says, softening his own voice. “Said he was tired of being everyone’s hero, or villain, and just wanted to put an end to everything. I don’t know what that meant, only that something big is coming, and Tommy is putting aside grudges to work with people he hated. He’s with Dream, Puffy, and we have to start treating him and Ranboo the same we treated Dream.”

Pulling back, Puffy wipes her eyes. Her bottom lip is quivering, but she nods. “You’re right. We have...” Her voice trails off again as she clears her throat.

“We have to treat them like the villains now,” Quackity says. “If they recruited Techno, they likely have Phil too. Which means they’re building up an army, and we have to prepare too.”

She nods. “I’ll go tell Tubbo, then. We’ll have to protect Michael.” Puffy turns and leaves, heading in Snowchester’s direction. Quackity watches her go, before turning to leave in a different direction.

He’s going to talk to Sam.

----

“Stop your bitching, Tommy, before we drug you.” Rather than sounding concerned, Wilbur sounds amused. This is massively unfair. Wilbur should be sobbing over his injuries, fretting over how worried he is for Tommy’s life.

Or maybe the fog of pain is clouding his version of reality.

“I’m so tired,” Tommy whispers. “Am I dying?” He stretches his hand out, hoping someone will grab at it. Ranboo lets out a snort before slipping his hand into Tommy’s. He’s grateful for the action, but Ranboo isn’t who he wants. “Wil...Wilby...”

“Tommy you got shot with a single arrow. I know it hurts like hell, but stop dramatizing this and hold still so Techno can pull it out.” At least Wilbur has the good graces to keep Tommy pinned to the sofa. What Wilbur doesn’t understand is that his entire body still aches. The sofa feels warm and sticky underneath him, and Tommy’s thoughts aren’t sticking long enough for him to counter with a witty retort.

Pain-laced eyes meet Techno’s, before sliding over to Phil. It says something to Tommy when Phil looks more concerned for Tommy’s physical health than Wilbur, so he yanks his hand from Ranboo’s, reaching for Phil instead. “Phil... dad...”

"No,” Phil says. “I’m not your father, and I’m not moving closer. You already have way too many people gathered around you. You’d think this was a wake, rather than you getting hurt.”

“I’m dying,” Tommy whines. “I went out of my way to fight Quackity, I stood up for myself, and this is the thanks I get? I even passed out!” Talking makes his hip pulse with pain; Tommy squeezes his eyes shut as he hisses, fighting to hurt to grab at himself to yank the damned thing out already.

“Yes, you did, you were so brave,” Wilbur says. Wilbur is no longer mocking him, at least. “When this is over and you’ve had yourself a long sleep, we’ll treat you to a nice, hot meal.”

“I’m already done.” Techno clears his throat. It takes the group a moment to realize Techno had been standing in place for at least a full minute, holding a blood-stained arrow in his hand. His other hand is pressed against Tommy’s hip to slow the flow of blood.

The realization that Tommy’s ache isn’t the arrow, but the after effect kicks in. Without people distracting him, the pain from the would fully sets in, and he’s yelping loudly in agony.  It hurts. The wound throbs just as much as when he was first shot, and he can already feel the edges of unconsciousness creep up in the edges of his vision again. Wilbur reaches down to smack him gently in the face.

“Stay awake, Toms. Don’t go to sleep just yet. Techno, you should have said something immediately, because now he’s actually losing blood. Dream-”

“Already on it.” Dream comes in with bandages and ointments and stuff Tommy is sure he’s never seen before. Techno’s hand pressed against him stings, and dimly, he can feel Ranboo grab his hand a second time.

The time for lighthearted banter is over, apparently. No longer is Tommy milking the pain or trying to ease the tension, now he’s hovering on the edge of consciousness and trying to resist the drowsy pull of sleep. He’s floating again, listening to everyone chatter around him, ignoring the stabs of pain from bandages and oils being applied to his injury.

For the first few seconds, Tommy can make out voices trying to talk to him. He can’t remember what he says in response, but the conversations finally slow. Tommy’s still somewhat coherent. At least, he’s coherent enough to make out the following conversation.

“I’m going to murder him,” Techno mutters. “I don’t like Tommy, but what Quackity did was bullshit. I’m going-”

“Easy,” Dream says. “Pretty by now everyone knows what’s going on, and they’re going to arm themselves. So we have to do the same thing, otherwise we’re never going to get anywhere.”

“We don’t have the element of surprise anymore,” Ranboo whispers. “At least with the explosives. But we still have the dragon.”

“Why was Quackity there to begin with?” Dream asks. “I should have known he’d get in the way.”

“Yeah,” Techno mutters. “He’s always in the way. He’s really good at interfering where he’s not wanted, sticking his nose in where it doesn’t belong. Are you sure-”

“You know what?” Dream pauses. Tommy can practically see Dream stroking his chin. “We knew there were going to be casualties. If Quackity is acting as their guard dog, it’s not going to be long before he convinces them to try and track us. We could have people showing up here any day now, because he’s good.”

“So can I kill him or not?”

“I don’t feel good about this,” Ranboo says. “Especially for Tommy’s sake. He and Quackity were close.”

Tommy tries to move. He tries to reach up to grab at someone’s sleeve, but he’s too heavy, especially now that the pain is fading and easing the tension in his body. He does grunt, though.

“Tommy, you can sleep now.” Tommy doesn’t know who’s saying it, but it doesn’t matter. All their voices are blending together anyway.

“He...” Tommy parts his lips and lets out a quiet, ragged breath. “-shot me. Said I was mentally poisoned.” Wilbur cards his fingers through Tommy’s hair. It’s such a gentle, soothing act, and Tommy leans into it. “We’re at war, boys.”

“What are you saying?” Dream asks. “We’re not doing anything you’re not comfortable with. I know those people were your friends.”

“Were,” Tommy mutters. Forcing his eyes open, he focuses his gaze on Dream. “My comms have been open the whole time. Mine, and Ranboo’s. Not once did anyone bother contacting me. Not even Tubbo.”

“They probably forgot,” Phil offers. “I mean, not everyone remembers we have these devices. Or they probably thought yours was confiscated.”

Tommy shakes his head. “I realized something while out there fighting Quackity. I’m always going to be someone’s pity friend. They don’t care that I’m seventeen and can make up my own mind, they still treat me like I’m breaking and need to be kept safe. When I said I’m tired, I meant because of everyone.”

“You’re not glass,” Dream says. “I tried, you always bounce back, on some level.”

“I’m bouncing back now.” Tommy closes his eyes again. “And I’m saying, if Techno really wants to unleash hell, I say go for it.”

“Tommy...” Dream sounds taken aback. Tommy would laugh if he wasn’t so tired. The tables really have turned, haven’t they? “You’re starting to sound like us. You know if you go down this path, there isn’t any turning back.”

“So be it. I died for a cause that ultimately doesn’t matter, and as far as they’re concerned, that me is still dead.”

“You’re fully embracing the villain life?” Wilbur chuckles. “Even though you know what this actually entails? I’m actually a little concerned for your psyche.”

“Yes.” There’s no hesitation in Tommy’s voice. “I already accepted it, but now all I care about is the promise you made to me, Wil. That we’re still together after all this. Alive, dead, whatever the in between or whatever the dragon decides, I intend to hold you to that. All of us.”

A silence settles over the group at large. It’s not hard to figure out what Tommy is giving permission for, or finally admitting to himself. It’s shocking, it’s a twist, and they all know it’s not even defeat anymore. A defeated Tommy never means what he says. No, this is a resolution, a finality to everything he’d been through. Tommy knows that they know it, and no one’s going to speak up against him.

“Alright.” Dream claps his hands. “It’s settled then. We’re going to war.”

“Quackity wanted cruel,” Tommy whispers, letting himself fade. It’d been a long day, and he’s glad it’s finally over. “He’ll see the cruelty of the beast before long.”

[eveenstar]

𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝒶𝓎 𝑜𝒻 𝒯𝒾𝓂𝑒

𝙰 𝚁𝚎𝚍 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚁𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚖𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝟸 𝙵𝚊𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙸𝙸

Summary:  In 2031, a journal is found. It tells the story of a woman named Y/N L/N, who claims to be a time traveler from 2021. This is the story of her life.

Tags/Warnings: Nothing to add yet.

Note: Also, this is a Javier Escuella x reader. The reader is also female, sorry! 

“What the hell?”  

“Is she alright?”

“Don't just stand there, help the poor girl!”

I remember waking up on a bed, not soft at all, reminded me of a rock.

The rays of the sun made the girl groan and sit on the bed. Rubbing her eyes, she looked around and noticed the strange ambient she was in. A few people walking around, yet none of them noticed she was awake. The woman got up slowly, swaying on her feet, and took slow steps towards her bag left on the ground, until a small voice startled her.

“Mama, the weird lady is up!”

“Already?”

(Y/N) sighed, her head up, and watching as all the eyes were on her. Her mind was still processing the information from the past hours, time-traveling. Right, right, she knew what to do. At least, what she was supposed to do. Her body felt different, probably still adjusting to going through a portal, her mouth was dry and she could still taste a bit of dirt on her lips from the fall.

“Hey, lady, you good?” A silvery voice ringed, waking (Y/N) from her thoughts. Looking at the group of people surrounding her. The man wearing a sombrero got closer to her with a cautious look on his face. The girl didn’t answer, the shock beginning to take over her body. Only know did the poor girl realized what she had done.

“Javier, be careful. She could be…dangerous.” Another voice coming from behind him said.

Dangerous? Well, she kinda is, right? Being a skilled hacker and knowing her way on a gun, but that probably wouldn’t serve much in this era. The hacker part, at least. (Y/N) focused on the loud voices coming near them, they were arguing, and probably about her too.

“Why are we keeping her alive, Dutch? The woman came through that shiny golden circle on the sky and you decide to keep her here?” A blond man waved his arm towards her angrily. (Y/N) recognized him from the old picture the other woman had shown to her; Micah Bell.

“We can’t just kill her, Micah. We need to hear her first.” The other man, Dutch van der Linde, or the dude with fancy clothes, replied. Seemingly annoyed by Micah.

“We have far too many mouths to feed already. We can’t have another one.” A feminine harsh voice announced. “Who comes through something like that in the middle of nowhere? In our camp? She’s dangerous.”

The woman let out a heavy and annoyed sigh. Crossing her arms and looking to the gang, with her brows furrowed. She wouldn’t let them talk like that about her like she wasn’t there. Everyone quickly looked at her.

“If you let me explain myself first before any of you open your mouths.” (Y/N) could see the surprised look on a few faces, but an angry one on the others. Maybe having an attitude wouldn’t do her any good here, probably should get rid of that before causing any problems amongst the gang. After all, she needed to gain their trust.

“I’m sorry, Miss…?”

“(L/N).”

“I’m sorry, Miss (L/N), they can be quite suspicious about strange folks. Of course, we’ll let you explain yourself after…that.” Dutch spoke softly with an educated tune, being the calmest and reasonable of them all. The girl took a few steps back, stumbling on her words a few times, even mumbling in Italian. Everyone’s eyes were on her like hawks, most of them curious but suspicious. It wasn’t hard to understand them, a random woman popping out of a hole on the sky dressed weirdly would any person be suspicious and probably very shocked.

(Y/N) was taking too long. Hearing a click of the tongue made her straighten up and fixing her eyes on the wanted gang.

“Well, err, I am…from the future-“

“The future?! I can’t listen to that bullshit!” Micah replied almost immediately.

“Shut the fuck up I’m talking!” The sudden shout made their eyes widen a bit, but she could still hear a few mumbled laughs on the background. “As I was saying, I came from the future. I’m from 2021. Someone sent me here to…help you all before a big tragedy takes place.”

After seconds of shocked nonbelieving silence, a few loud voices were heard around. Mostly because they didn’t believe one single word she’d just said, others were questioning why Dutch decided to let her live and how they should just throw her on the river. But, one of the girls slowly approached her, more calmly.

“Why you?” The young brown-hair freckled woman asked, one of her brows up in a questioning way. She sounded so gentle when she spoke.

I adored Mary-Beth. I think she was the kindest and most gentle member of the Van der Linde gang.

“Oh. Well, you see….” (Y/N) gazed hesitantly to Dutch for the first time. He was watching her with his arms crossed, with a heavy brooding expression and eyes narrowed. The leader was wearing a black and red vest with a blue and white pinstripe shirt, with gold chains on his vest, with a smart black jacket and a black hat. He was taller than her and stronger; with a thick, black mustache and soul patch under his lips, he also has dark black, slick backed hair that curls at the end. Taking a mental note on his appearance, he seemed far more intimidating in real life.

I recall thinking “Damn, is that my great-grandpa? He’s hot.”. But in a serious note, he seemed to be so cold-hearted but at the same time, kind and trustworthy. He did look like a gentleman. He was an outlaw, and well, I guess it does run on the family.

What was she doing? Why did she take the stupid decision on going back to the past just because someone didn’t like how this gang’s fate ended? Many, many lives didn’t have a happy ending too. So why change only theirs? (Y/N) was already regretting the foolish decision she took, but hey, she still had that block thing to go back. Nothing was lost yet, she just had to justify herself and get the hell out of there before they decide to kill her or worse.

Hearing a forced cough woke the girl from her thoughts. Feeling embarrassed when she noticed she had been staring at him this whole time. Good, just wonderful.

“I’m Dutch’s…great-granddaughter.” The words merely escape her lips and heavens, how she felt like throwing herself out of a cliff after it. A burst of loud laughter was heard, coming from some of the men. A great joke, yes, that’s what this was. They didn’t believe her, not without proof, and she couldn’t honestly blame them.

“You can’t possibly believe this crazy woman’s words, Dutch. C’mon.”

“Miss, please elaborate on that.”

“Dutch? C’mon boss, she hit her head when she fell!” Micah shouted, not very happy with the leader deciding to hear her story before making any judgment. (Y/N) was glad for it, who knows what would happen if he decided to listen to that idiot.

She grabbed her bag and started to look for her phone, it probably wouldn’t work much there but if time traveling is a thing, maybe ghost WiFi was too. Who knows. Probably asking for too much there. (Y/N) took a few steps closer and turned it on, showing them the colorful wallpaper and the date, “2021”, proceeding to shows some pictures of streets and buildings she had on her gallery. It seemed to have worked, has everyone had a terrified look on their faces. Most of them were still a bit hesitant, and probably scared of the unknown.

The girl turned to the leader, she didn’t have any proof about being his great-granddaughter. Wait, she didn’t ask for it too. Damn it, did she just get fooled by that woman?

“I don’t have any proof, sir, but that woman told me I was…your granddaughter and needed me to save you all.” Before he replied, she added. “She did mention a one night woman you were with.”

“If what you’re telling us is the truth,” He began, slowly. Still watching her closely. “I guess you’ll have to stay with us.”

Giving the man a slight smile, the girl nodded. She heard a few angrily mumbles coming from behind them, some of the gang’s members weren’t very happy with that sudden decision. With a gentle pat on her shoulder, Dutch made his way to the middle of the camp and looked at everyone, rubbing his hands together with a serious, yet sympathetic expression.

“Family, Miss (L/N) will stay with us for the time being. I don’t want any complaints about this, she showed us proof of her story and if she’s here to help us, we should give her a home.” Nobody spoke, just silence. Maybe they didn’t want to oppose their leader. “Miss Grimshaw, please help Miss (Y/N) prepare a tent and show her around.”

The older woman nodded, looking at Dutch and then glaring suspiciously at (Y/N).

“Miss (Y/N), I would like to speak with you…privately.” Feeling a sudden jump of beat on her chest, the girl nodded. The serious tune on his voice addressing to her caught her by surprise, she didn’t like that tune coming from adults. Perhaps because every time that happened, they would blame her for something afterward and treat her like a child.

“Don’t worry, he just wants to talk to you about that great-granddaughter thing, ya know,” Mary-Beth said, giving (Y/N) a warm smile. “I’ll catch you later, ‘kay? Someone has to show you around and meet the other folks.”  

“Thanks…?” The girl tilted her head a bit. That’s right, they didn’t present themselves yet.

“Mary-Beth. You?” The young woman replied. Her name fit her perfectly, she looked like the main character of a romance novel.

“(Y/N).”

“Oh, well, nice to meet you, (Y/N). It’s better if you go now, don’t wanna keep Dutch waitin’.” Mary said, already making her way to another tent. (Y/N) nodded in agreement, putting her brave face and walking confidently to Dutch’s tent. Alright, probably not that confident, but she couldn’t let the others think she’s weak or scared now. She had a role to keep! The thought about going back to 2021 was already in the back of her mind and probably would stay there for a very long time.

[athrialuxegna]

Stronger than she thinks Part 2

Triggers warning: mental and physical abuse, violence, swearing

Part 1 | Part 3

Fanfiction | Archiveofourown | Wattpad

It was 6 a.m when I walked out of the cafeteria and nearly choked on my saliva when I saw Eric and Brent. They were laughing at some joke. I couldn’t help but feel a slight twinge in my stomach. If only Eric knew what monster Brent was. Who was I kidding! Eric would not give a shit about this. They stopped in their tracks when they notice me. My face contorted with disgust at the sight of Brent’s horny eyes looking up and down my body. A cold shiver ran down my spine.

“Christine, long time no see.” Brent’s smirk was full of himself.

He had me cornered. Eric was staring at our exchange. It was really bad. If I backed away it would give too much information and the same if I retorted. Ugh, one week of more or less peace wasn’t enough. I became a real ninja since my encounter with Eric. I have succeeded to avoid both men, but my luck was wearing off today.

“My life was brighter without the sight of you. Such a shame you just ruined it.” My sarcastic tone enraged him, his ears turned red and his eyes shot fire. Good. Then he smirked. Oh, crap.

“You know you miss me, Chrissy.” His voice was hushed and seductive.

All color was drained from my face. My nails were digging in my palms, blood slowly spilling from the crescent wounds. This nickname rang a bell. He had called me that when he was all over me. I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood in my mouth. Motherfucker!

“I have something better to do than talking to a prick like you.” I hissed back, turning on my heels.

“You’re so hot when you’re angry Chrissy.” He called after me.

A wave of entangled emotions was bubbling inside of me. It won’t be long before I break down. I began to run when I turn the corner. I went straight to the roof. The rain was pouring hard. Thick drops fell on my face and soaked my clothes. I screamed at the top of my lungs to the raging sky. I couldn’t take his attitude, his face nor his fucking nickname. I took out all my pent up anger and desperation onto the wall beside me. My knuckles hit the wall harder and harder until my knees gave out.  I imagined his face, as bloody as my hands, as shattered as my soul. I wish I could just disappear or forget what happened. Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks. Okay, maybe I was not drained yet.

“Why did you do this to me?” I asked to the raging sky, defeated.

“Why who did what to you?”

Eric’s deep voice startled me. He was standing right at the door, the only escape from the roof. Wonderful. I sighed deeply. I am so fucked, I thought. I felt like I was ready to jump from a cliff without a safety net awaiting me at the bottom. Everything was crashing down around me. I had nothing to lose now. Still, a part of me refused to admit what happened. My bruised ego wasn’t willing to let go. I closed my eyes a second before answering, my back still facing him.

“It’s none of your concern Eric,” I replied dryly.

The tears had stopped as soon as I heard his voice. I appeared weak enough right now to not turn around crying my eyes off. Eric came in front of me, crouching down to be near my level. His eyes more intense than usual as if he was trying to read my thoughts. I wished I wasn’t in the cafeteria earlier. I wished Eric would just ignore me.

“I know this is related to Brent.” I hold my breath at the name. “Tell me, Christine, what did he do to you?” His cold voice chilled me to the bone.

I shivered but held his gaze nonetheless. I shook my head in complete denial. Eric was the last person I wanted to confess to. Eyebrows furrowed and teeth clenched, I held my ground.

“Nothing.” My voice was surprisingly strong.

Eric huffed then closed the gap between us. His breath fanned my face, our noses nearly touching. My breath quickened at the sudden intrusion into my personal space. Tears brimmed in my eyes and I cursed my body for trembling like a leaf. Eric’s eyebrow quirked up, his piercings glistening at the movement. His icy blue eyes tore into my soul, curiosity burning inside them. However, his face was void of any emotion.

“Now, tell me why are you in such a state? You can’t fool me, Christine.” His low voice reached a deeper octave.

Seconds passed, I couldn’t bring myself to tare my eyes away from him. Even though I hated him to follow me up here. Didn’t he have better things to do? I closed my eyes and whispered finally.

“Brent raped me.”

My surrender cost me a lot. It was the final straw, the confirmation that my life became a living hell. Silence followed my confession. I found the courage to open my eyes. Eric was fuming, his gaze fixated on the ground. A hole would appear any second in the concrete at this point. His clenched jaw and fists told me that he was on the verge of losing his self-control. I didn’t know if it was a good or a bad thing. Was he angry at Brent for doing this? Or was he angry because Brent might lose his job as his consultant? So many questions swirled in my mind when his sharp voice cut the dreadful silence.

“When?”

“Monday night,” I replied curtly, not trusting my voice further.

“Son of a bitch.” He muttered under his breath. “We have to report to Max. Brent has to respond to his crime.”

His words held a finality that scared me. Will he report with or without my consent? His entire demeanor screamed that he was ready to bolt for Max’s office any second. I shot him a wary look and shook my head. It can’t be happening so fast. I hadn’t processed the whole thing yet.

I needed some time to prepare myself for the incoming battle. Should I say the truth or should I lie? An investigation won’t do anything without my word. Brent set up the whole thing, there was no proof. Unless… I went to the infirmary to be examined. No way, no one would ever touch me again or see my lady parts.

“Max won’t know anything. Brent can’t be judged for his crime because of the circumstances.” I retorted with annoyance.

“What circumstances? Rape is rape for fuck’s sake.” Growled Eric.

“You wouldn’t understand because I can’t even figure it out myself,” I admitted bitterly. “Cowardice is my crime.”

“What do you mean?” Something flickered in his eyes.

“While he was…” I trailed off. “I couldn’t move a muscle, my body won’t cooperate. I was helpless, an empty shell. I could just watch and... feel.”

The words ran out of my mouth before my brain could register. I wished I could disappear or that Eric would magically teleport somewhere else. I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment and shame. I lowered my gaze onto the floor, I couldn’t look at him after saying this.

“It is pretty common during a traumatic experience. Your brain shuts down to protect you, it’s a defensive response.” He explained with a rather know-it-all voice.

A surge of unknown anger bubbled inside of me. His nose side triggered something deep. I huffed and threw my arms around to avoid punching him. His psychological bullshit wouldn’t help me to get rid of my guilt.

“I was a coward nonetheless and I’ll remain as long as I can’t forgive myself. Where’s the Eric I know, the ruthless leader? He would just say to suck it up and get on with my life or I would end up Factionless. Why do you care anyway? Just throw me over the roof already to end my misery!” I yelled.

Eric stood still, unfazed by my sudden outburst. He crossed his arms over his broad chest and waited until I calmed a little bit. His eyes boring holes into my skull.

“Enjoy, this is the only chance you’ve got to shout at me.” He smirked briefly. “No matter what you think of me Chris, this is part of my job to ensure the security of all Dauntless members. The only way to protect you and other women is to send him to justice.”

I growled inwardly. He was right. Brent should be stopped as soon as possible. He could do worse in the meantime. I sighed deeply and bowed my head. I was conflicted. Part of me wasn’t willing to give in. My intimacy had already been violated. I didn’t need a nurse looking down there now. I was selfish, I knew, but it was easier to ignore it than to face it. Tell me about being Dauntless, huh.

“I’ll tell you when I’m ready to report this,” I muttered.

Eric’s lips twitched up at the corners in an almost genuine smile. My heart skipped a beat at the sight, his face always tight and closed was a bit relaxed. Bewitched Eric returned. His changing demeanor was unnerving, I didn’t know what to expect next.

“We should go back inside to take care of your knuckles. Unless you want to catch the flu.”

He turned on his heels and stalked away. He didn’t seem bothered by the rain drenching his clothes and hair. I followed him down in the compound. The cold hallways made me shiver. My soaked clothes clang awkwardly to my body. I certainly looked like a penguin with a stick shoved up his ass or a pathetic excuse of a cowboy, walking after hours of riding a horse. We didn’t say a word until he took a turn I hadn’t expected. He was leading me down the leaders’ quarter. I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Why do you bring me here?” I questioned warily.

“You prefer Marlene’s questioning?” He retorted coolly.

I began to walk again. Marlene was the head of the infirmary, a curious young woman who couldn’t hold her tongue. Eric’s smirk returned to his lips. He was himself again. Good. We entered his apartment. It was huge, tidy, and neat as if no one lived here. There was classical furniture, a black leather couch, a table, a full bookshelf. Three closed doors faced us, which lead to the kitchen, the washroom, and the bedroom, I presumed. Eric went into one of the rooms to get me spare clothes.

“You can use the bathroom to take a shower and change. We’ll take care of your knuckles after.” He pointed to the door closest to me.

I nodded and took the clothes from his hands. He disappeared quickly through the same door. I guessed he had a bathroom connected to his bedroom. Perks of being a leader. The hot water hit me and washed my emotions. Reality dawned on me. Eric knew. He was the only one other than Brent. How will it go between both men? They were working together, how was this supposed to go well?

I hoped that Eric would not do anything impulsive. It would only worsen the situation I was in. I didn’t even know what was the law regarding rape. Did it even exist? I wasn’t sure. Rape was a rare occurrence in Dauntless, exceptional trials that I’ve never seen in my twenty-five years here.

I tried to escape from my thoughts while drying myself. I get changed. Eric gave me one of his shirts, a large hoodie, and jogging. It smelt like him, his scent surrounded me. A mix of mint and leather. A strange sense of security settled in me. A knock on the door resonated.

“Are you finished?” Eric asked through the door.

“Yes, you can come in,” I responded, slightly surprised by his thoughtfulness. He could have barged into the room with no care in the world. We were in his apartment after all.

The door opened and Eric walked in. He changed into a similar outfit to mine. I couldn’t recall the last time I’ve seen him in anything other than his leaders’ attire. His tight shirt outlined his toned chest and his jogging hang low on his hips, I could catch a glimpse of his smooth skin. I adverted my eyes elsewhere, disturbed by my wandering mind. I was raped a week ago and I drooled over him. Something was definitely wrong with me. Did Brent hit me too hard?

I’d lie if I said that he wasn’t handsome, but Eric was Eric. He was untouchable, a leader, and most importantly the bearer of my secret. I needed to suppress the reminiscence of my crush on him. It wasn’t the time nor the best circumstances and, let’s be real, Eric could have any other Dauntless girl. So why bother with me?

Eric opened a drawer and took a first-aid kit without glancing at me. I had washed all the dry blood from my hands. The cuts were visible now. I let him take care of them. His rough hands were gentle and he kept space between us. I appreciated the gesture even though his changing behavior unsettled me. He bandaged my hands then cleaned all the supplies.

“If you want to fight find a real opponent. Next time the wall will win. Your bones are not that tough.” He remarked, his eyes resting on me.

“I wish I could kill him with my bare hands but it would do me no good.” I huffed while rolling my eyes.

“You could call me next time.” His voice light as a feather.

“What? You’ll do worse than the wall, Eric.” I responded, crossing my arms over my chest.

His laugh filled the bathroom. I’ve never heard it before. I was stunned for a second, processing what I was witnessing. I must’ve looked at him like he had grown two heads because he composed himself and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” The ghost of a smile lingering on his lips.

“I’ve never heard you laugh before,” I said without thinking.

His serious expression returned as well as his cold blue eyes. The Eric I knew was finally back.

“Now get out of here. I have work to do.” He dismissed.

I was about to leave when I look at him with worried eyes. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Come on, I won’t do anything about your secret without your consent.” He practically growled.

“Thanks, Eric.” I nodded slightly then walked out of the apartment.

Once alone dread fell onto me. I went to the tattoo parlor, my safe haven. Tori was cleaning her stuff when I walked in. She smiled at me and beckoned me to come with her to one of the tattoo stalls. I joined her and sit on the tattoo chair as if I belonged in here.

“Hey, Chris you want something today?” She asked, taking a sit by the chair I sat on.

“Yop Tori. I think I’ve got an idea.”

I explained to her what I wanted. She drew the design, it was better than what I have expected. The buzzing of the machine soothed me. It was a tough pleasure to get tattooed. The needles were in and out of my skin, the dull ache growing in my back. Tori hadn’t talked since the beginning.

“Now, would you tell me why you’re wearing man’s clothes and have your knuckles bandaged?” She asked out of nowhere.

I tensed slightly then relaxed not to mess up the tattoo.

“I ended up getting caught in the storm outside. Someone get me spare clothes. ” I answered carefully.

Tori hummed in response. Silence fell upon us once again. I must have fallen asleep because Tori woke me up by shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes to see a large smile on her face.

“Good nap, sleeping beauty?” She mocked.

“Sorry, I won’t do it again,” I replied, stretching my sore muscles.

“Don’t do promises you can’t keep, Chris.” She laughed.

Every time Tori tattooed me I fell asleep in no time. I smiled and get up to see my back in the mirror. The beautiful Phoenix, wings spread, was looking back at me. It was stunning, the fine details made it seem real. A masterpiece that took my entire back. Satisfied and happy, I turned to Tori.

“This is wonderful. Thanks, Tori.”

She nodded and was called by another customer. I waved goodbye and took my leave. I didn’t know what to do on my days off. Even more so now that I didn’t have any friends to spend time with. I missed hanging around with Jenna and Kate. I have encounter neither of them since their visit in my apartment. A dull ache crushed my ribcage, I was alone. Brent took everything from me. He took more than my innocence, he destroyed my life. I couldn’t trust anyone, not fully at least. There will still be a doubt, a “what if” that will ruin my relationships. I wandered in the Pit like a lost soul. It was becoming full. I sat on a rock and watched Dauntless members passing by.

A hand fell on my shoulder. I jerked away and turned around to face Four. My eyebrows furrowed as my heart calmed his frantic beats. He looked tired, working in the control room took its toll on him. He seemed more dynamic when he was training the initiates. He arbored a somber expression, his eyes boring into mine.

“Chris we have to talk about something. In private.” He muttered.

I gulped, it wasn’t something good. Four had to know something to appear out of nowhere to talk. He had seen something. Cameras were all over the compound. Brent couldn’t avoid all of them. I didn’t want anyone to see what happened. If they were a trial, it would be watched by so many people. My body shivered and I get up to follow Four in an empty hallway. We stood a few feet apart, staring at each other, choosing our words carefully.

“Chris, I saw what happened Monday night. Eric and I were talking about the next initiation when the screens showed you and Brent.”

Eric knew before I confessed. I felt betrayed that he didn’t tell me. I swallowed thickly and shook my head. The situation was getting out of my hands. I needed to get out of here. The pitiful gaze Four cast on me made me sick. I couldn’t take his soft eyes. I turned around and ran as if I was chased by a werewolf.

I turned the corner and crashed into a strong body. My eyes settled on Brent. He had his arms wrapped around my waist to keep me from falling. His intense brown orbs plunged into my emerald irises. My body stiffened and I wriggled in his grasp to get free. It only made him tighten his grip.

“Oh Chrissy, I knew you would run after me.” His low voice rang in my ears.

I tried to pry him away from me to no use, he was way too strong. His lips graced my neck, a cold shiver ran down my spine.

“Brent get off me. I don’t want you.” I growled.

Footsteps echoed in the hallway. Brent let me go and I bolt out of here. Eric was right. Brent had to be brought to justice or he will continue. I went into my apartment and closed myself for the rest of the day. I didn’t eat this evening. I was feeling sick at the idea of explaining what happened to Max and the other leaders. My night had been restless, haunted by horrible nightmares.

[thebladeblaster]

Rebirth of A Samurai (Final Part)

Summary: This fic is a what if scenario to SMT4 Apocalypse. I would go into more detail, but I don’t want to spoil too much of what this fic entails. If this fic gains traction I may continue the story on from this one-shot. Warning: This is a long one.

This may be the last I write for awhile with college right around the corner. I won’t stop completely, but it will become a lot slower.

He only heard it when he got like this. When he became blind to anything else, but rage.

“A man who forgets kindness is no worse than a demon.”, he suddenly remembered Jonathan’s words as a feeling crept up inside him.

A part of him was also yelling at him to stop and realize what he’s doing. Flynn blinked trying to regain his sense of self which became blotted out by rage when Nanashi taunted him about Isabeau’s death. No. No. No matter what Nanashi had done this was far too cruel. He had to stop, he had to give him a chance to explain himself. The angered voice practically roared at him thinking that. But, he ignored his angered voice he remembered where exactly losing himself has gotten him. If he had a clearer head then his mother would still be alive. No he wasn’t going to listen anymore!

Vishnu-Flynn stopped his assault, greatly confusing and relieving Dadga. Flynn felt all the blood coating his skin like back then and he felt just as disgusted as he was then if not worse. He lowered his blades as he looked down at Nanashi’s mangled form which regrow itself. His blood ran cold after finally stopping and seeing what exactly he’d been doing. What was wrong with him?! No matter how angry he was, this was just...unacceptable.

Ryou rejoiced in seeing for once he reached Flynn. His feelings didn’t often reach Flynn because of how buried he was, but he finally got through to him.

Flynn waited for Nanashi to prepare himself before he pointed his blade at him. It wasn’t to attack him again, it was just to make sure he didn’t try anything. He could see the fear in Nanashi’s eyes as he looked up at him. He felt like looking away in shame, but he kept his gaze locked on Nanashi.

Nanashi was completely perplexed as to why Flynn stopped, but he wasn’t complaining. He was glad to finally take a breath. Though, he didn’t exactly need to breathe it calmed his nerves, something he desperately needed after that. He couldn’t help but tremble. He didn't want to look like a scared kid but...How was he supposed to keep cool after that massacre?! Vishnu-Flynn cast a massive shadow over hit feeble form. His gold and red eyes gazed into his soul. He shouldn’t have killed the others at least not before facing him. He needed their help, in his overconfidence he bit off far more than he could chew. His heart nearly jumped out of his mending chest when Vishnu-Flynn pointed his blade at him. He couldn’t hide his trembling now, his fear that Vishnu-Flynn wouldn’t stop trying to kill him till in stuck.

“Why did you do it? Why did you betray everyone?”, Vishnu-Flynn asked, he sounded hurt.

“I-I!”, Nanashi stuttered, still not completely together mentally believing if he said the wrong thing the former samurai would continue his assault.

He met Vishnu-Flynn’s gaze which was a lot less cruel and enraged now. He could see in his eyes he wanted to forgive him, to understand why he did this. The gaze brought up a distant memory from within him of a kind man with sympathy even for demons, Ryou. It helped him relax a bit and made him feel he wasn’t about to be killed on the spot for saying the wrong thing.

“I-I thought it was the only way...To free humanity from YHVH forever…”, Nanashi admitted.

“You think that was worth betraying everyone? Why don’t you just kill YHVH?”, Vishnu-Flynn questioned.

“Because he’ll come back and he’ll keep coming back as long as people long for gods. In our new world there will be no gods, people will stand on their own two feet, not relying on others or praying for help like weaklings. The others would have gotten in our way since we were going to destroy this universe before creating ours.”, Dadga said, revealing himself.

Dadga was taken aback when he heard Vishnu-Flynn wheeze and completely break into laughter. Dadga’s eye twitched he was laughing at him. He could feel a bit of condescension in his laughter.

“You’re a hypocrite like Lucifer and Merkabah. You claim you want people to stand on their own and not rely on others when you’re relying on someone yourself. A vulnerable fifteen year old boy is the one you chose to have do your bidding, Dadga. You're pathetic.”, Vishnu-Flynn said in a scathing and venomous tone.

“You tore apart that fifteen year old boy yourself! Oh great Tokyo Liberator your just as much as a fucking monster as Shesha.”, Dadga shot back.

“Way to change the subject...I guess that’s an admission. I won’t deny what I did, you're right I am a monster. To the point when I fight I sometimes completely lose myself like just now. But, I would never dream of betraying good loyal people like you did. If things had continued as they had I may have ended up killing Jonathan and Walter myself, but that’s because they had lost themselves and were going to ruin the world. But, if they hadn’t changed if they stayed themselves like Isabeau I would have never even thought about killing them. You on the other hand betrayed your own allies so you could create your stupid universe. Well, I don’t care what silly justification you give to justify for committing genocide on a entire people no universe,...I don’t care who you are. If you intend to sacrifice innocent lives for your plans I’ll wipe you from this Earth.”, Vishnu-Flynn said, staring into Dadga’s eyes with a fiery resolve.

Dadga grew nervous knowing he was serious about killing him. He could tell about looking into his eyes he had the eyes of a godslayer and a killer. That’s what he truly was. That’s what godslayers were and that’s why every faction wanted him for themselves. They wanted his monstrous power on their side so they could topple their enemies. He knew he was stuck. He had an idea before to make him pause, but he realized it might end up making things worse for them. His godslayer was a shivering wreck right now. He clicked his tongue. He’s going to have to cut his losses right now and hope Krishina doesn’t regain control over Flynn to bring about his salvation then try again. Dadga was ambitious, but he wasn’t stupid he knew right now neither he nor his ‘godslayer’ couldn’t defeat Flynn and he was almost out of power. So he ran. Before Vishnu-Flynn realized what he was doing he disappeared leaving behind Nanashi. Considering him a failure Dadga withdrew his powers from the boy, deciding that he’d start again.

Vishnu-Flynn’s attention snapped to Nanashi’s when his body clattered on the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. The form Vishnu-Flynn melted away leaving Flynn who ran to the dying Nanashi.

“Nanashi!”, he called out bending down over him.

“Why the fuck..do you sound so concerned..you fucking moron?!”, Nanashi questioned, genuinely confused as to why Flynn was showing him any sympathy.

Ryou, he’s back. Even now after all the shit he’s been through he still chose forgiveness. Damn. His current self right he is fucking moron. He always told Ryou that he didn’t have to feel sympathy for everyone. That he didn’t have to always apologize. Some people are just shit that’s just how it was. Yet, that idiot never once listened to him and continued to be stupid even when it tore him apart. After seeing Flynn’s rampage he realized that it was probably for the best Ryou never listened to him. Even after that rampage, Ryou's compassion once again entered his incarnation's eyes.

“Because you were used just like I was by Krishna. I think he sat back because he wanted me to kill you for him. Besides nothing’s wrong about having some by your side while you die. Everyone deserves that.”, Flynn replied, making Nanashi scoff.

He winced as he felt all feeling starting to leave his body. His vital organs were shutting down.

“That’s why...I called you a moron...You're hopelessly sappy...like Asahi...ah...I wonder if even she’ll be glad I’m dead...After everything I done…”, Nanashi muttered, weakly.

Flynn shook his head no at Nanashi’s words.

“I don’t think so. I didn’t know her for long, but I don’t think she’d hate you that much. I think even if they're mad at you now, one day everyone will forgive you.”, Flynn replied.

“Ahh...Bullshit…”, Nanashi muttered, he couldn’t help but chuckle at Flynn’s naive comment.

Flynn held Nanashi’s hand as it grew continuously weaker. He felt like Nanashi was trying to say more, but he lost the strength to speak. The younger boy’s hand shivered weakly and he stared into Nanashi’s natural brown eyes. Something about them felt vaguely familiar to Flynn, but he couldn’t remember where. Nanashi closed them knowing soon he would never open them again. Soon, he could no longer feel his grip and his hand slid down lifeless. Flynn closed his eyes, before he used to pray for those who passed, but after meeting real angels he couldn’t do that in good conscience. If left him not knowing what to do when someone died, the only thing he could do now was tell the others of his death. With a heavy heart he reclaimed Masakado’s katana.

Flynn got up leaving the room noticing Krishna was still worryingly silent. He froze when he saw the dead bodies of Isabeau and the others. He was shocked to see Nozomi; he didn’t know she joined Nanashi. Besides that he didn’t know many of the others who had been with Nanashi besides Asahi. He bent to looking to Isabeau’s crumpled form.

“I’m sorry...I was too late.”, Flynn apologized quietly to the fallen.

After that he went to Fujiwara and Skins who were glad to see him free, but confused that the others weren’t there with him.

“Krishna took control of me and made me kill them. I was too late to break free, most of the Divine Powers are dead and Krishna is still out there somewhere.”, Flynn lied.

“That’s…”, Fujiwara muttered.

“I’m sorry I failed everyone. I’m going to do what I should have done a long time ago after that...I don’t know what I’ll do.”, Flynn said softly, before walking past them.

“Wait Flynn!”, Skins called, out but Flynn looked away and kept walked.

He went before the boulder in the 4th district crosswalk in Ginza.

“Masakado. I need your help to rebuild the world.”, Flynn said as he unsheathed the katana.

However, neither the sword nor the rock reacted.

“What?”, Flynn questioned.

Did Masakado give up on him? Does he no longer believe in him after he failed everyone?

“Tokyo no longer needs me.”, Masakado said from within the boulder.

“I need you! I’m lost! I don’t know what to do now!”, Flynn thought with bits of panic.

“Masakado?”, Flynn said.

“You no longer need my protection. You wish to remove the dome and restore Tokyo to its rightful form, no? That is no longer necessary.”, Masakado explained.

“W-what are you talking about?!”, Flynn questioned, not knowing why the god suddenly changed his mind.

“It is now possible for Tokyo and Mikado to coexist, just as you tried to with Nanashi. The two peoples can help one another regardless of the dome’s presence. This is something I realized when Shesha cut a hole through the dome. With Krishna sealed within you. I will rest. Shall fate call again, we will meet once more. The two lands now move through time the same, and gaze upon the same moon. I leave Tokyo’s protection to you, Flynn.”, Masakado explained.

“Me?!”, Flynn questioned in shock.

But, he failed Tokyo! His weakness led to more people suffering! Why was Masakado leaving everything to him?! That’s what got them in this situation! Because everyone left EVERYTHING up to him!

“Farewell, Flynn. May the future you build be filled with hope.”, Masakado said, Flynn’s eye twitched as he listened to Masakado.

A column of light bursts from the rocks and climbs into the sky. It fades from view as it stretches beyond the great blue blanket above. Flynn trembled, still gaping in disbelief at Masakado’s words.

“Hoy what the fuck are you saying?! Come back here you bastard!”, Flynn yelled and in a moment of rage kicked the god’s boulder.

Skins and Fujiwara sweat dropped as they walked in on Flynn yelling at Masakado.

“H-hey?!”, Masakado questioned, taken aback.

“Hoy to yourself! The reason we got in this mess is because everyone relied on me! Only me! What I learned from all of this is that an entire people should never saddle their hopes on one person! And what’s with you changing your mind all of the sudden? Me and Isabeau planned to bring the people down here so they can finally reunite with their kin, but you want to keep them divided by the firmament?! You think a stupid hole will truly reunite everyone?! Are you forgetting that Tokyo still has no freaking sun?! Do you want them to live without one forever?! How does leaving things like that make sense? Get off your ass and finish this with me!”, Flynn yelled as he continued to kick the boulder harder this time.

“He’s completely lost it.”, Skins commented, looking stunned at Flynn’s behavior.

“This is exactly why no one respects you gods! You just sit around and do nothing yet expect people to worship you anyway! You’ve done nothing so don’t peace out on me like you did something!”, Flynn yelled.

“It’s even freakier since he looks exactly like Ryou.”, Fujiwara commented.

Now, the mental image of the mild mannered Ryou kicking Masakado and yelling at him like he was a deadbeat husband was in their minds.

“I saved Tokyo from the nukes!”, Masakado yelled back.

“After I dragged your ass out of your sleep and made you do it! Tokyo was going to be blown to bits while you slept like some deadbeat guardian!”, Flynn yelled back.

“R-Ryou?!”, Masakado questioned, wondering how Flynn remembered that when the specific circumstances before he was used by his previous incarnation weren’t explained.

“If you’re not going to actually do something to reunite Tokyo and Mikado I’ll convince them all to come down here, remove the firmament myself and drag YHVH’s sorry ass off his throne!”, Flynn yelled, kicking Masakado for the final time

Masakado was stunned into silence by the outburst, but he remembered Flynn had been captured and likely tortured for days by the Divine Powers leaving him at his wits end especially with many of his allies gone. With Krishna inside him it probably wasn’t best to leave him in that state. He could feel Flynn has become a god far more powerful than even him.

“Y-you’re right.”, Masakado replied nervously.

“You bet I’m right Masakado take your chalice. I’ll give you the okay when everyone has been evacuated from Mikado.”, Flynn replied.

Then Flynn left for Mikado leaving the stunned Skins and Fujiwara behind.

To be continued?

[yaneyanedaze]

Our Godess, Waiting.

(Royal Pillarmen x Reader Part two)

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Reader-Darling is a girl that lives in a village close by the kingdom ruled by the three kings: Esidisi, Whamuu, and Kars. She doesn’t see what everyone else sees in them, and keeps away, but one day, she’ll catch their eyes, and they won’t eve leave her.

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Last time on Royal Pillarmen

Kars felt rage in his soul..He wanted to make that wretched woman pay for making his queen cry, but he had ton wait...wait until the moment was right then rid the world of ghastly beasts like her.

“My Goddess...you’re in our grasps..now you cannot get away now..”

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When we arrived at the castle I couldn’t help but let out a noise of amazement.

It was a beautifully built building with gold and many decoration lining the outside, I got down off the horse and was drawn to the entrance. I heard a deep chuckle from behind me and footsteps before Kars appeared beside me,”Do you like it my dear?” He asked, placing a hand on my hip. I felt a blush creep up on my face but tried to shake it off, This is was my new life now i guess now.

I was led inside by Kars, many maids and butlers were waiting for me as soon as I stepped inside.

 “Welcome your highness!” They said in unison. I smiled softly and let out a small giggle “You guys don’t have to be formal with me..I’m just like the rest of you” I say, one of the maids comes up to me and bows politely. “My lady you are Royalty now! We are on two different levels now..” She says. I simply shake my head, I opened my mouth to speak again but I was interrupted by Kars.

“Alright I don’t pay you all to sit around and interrogate the Queen, off to work, all of you, except Stella.” With his loud booming words, the rest of them scurried off into their respective areas and left behind a woman who looked to be in her late twenties, behind. She had beautiful long flowing pink hair and precious silver eyes, ones that could rival diamonds. When she looked at me she gave a bright smiled and happily came over to me and clamped her hands around mine.

“My names Estella! I can’t wait to show you around~! We’re gonna be the best of friends.” She said excitedly pulling me away to some other part of the castle. I looked back at Kars who had a smile on his face as he ushered us away.

Stella lead me through the hall to a door decorated in jewels and other accessories, she opened it and walked in motioning for me to follow. When I entered, I saw what I believed was a beautifully decorated rooms with fine silks, the bed with large fluffy pillows and satin lined bedsheets with a matching cover. I turned around looking all over the room and I saw a crown sitting on the dresser in a box.

“I see you are taking an interest in the crown Y/n?” She asked walking over to stand beside me. I nodded silently as she walked closer to the glass chamber it was held in. It sat on a pretty velvet rest and was adorned with several jewels, but one stone caught my attention, a deep scarlet red one smack dead in the center. It gave off an alluring glow as the light from outside hit it. “This is your crown from now on, His Majesty had it prepared a long time ago, he knew you were coming soon, so it’s been waiting for you ever since!” She said giving me a pat on the back.

I looked over at her to see a delightful smile on her face as she moved to the door. “I’ll be right down the hall if you need me! So just knock on the first door to your right!” She says as she exits the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I wondered over to the large bed. I sat down and sighed in relief, it was so soft and fluffy compared to my old bed back at home.

Upon thinking about that i sighed as i thought about my home, my mother, who raised me and did everything for me, my best friend, gave me up at the promise of riches just dumped me like i was nothing. I curled up on the bed, I couldn’t help but begin to cry softly, the tears just began falling and my sobs went from quiet sniffles to loud wails. “Why?...Why mom?” I cried out, I felt myself begin to get sleepy from the crying, My cries began to get quieter and quieter as i cuddled into the bed sheets and fell into a peaceful sleep.

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After closing the door and walking to her room, Stella growled softly as she crossed her arms, anger seeping through her pores. “I literally did all this work, to try and get His Majesty love me, then randomly a commoner comes in and swoops in, This is bullshit.” She muttered as she entered her bedroom. She laughed at the sounds of y/n crying from the other room as she sat down on her bed. “She won’t last a week here, King Kars will see that she’s nothing but a weakling..” She said while chuckling and looking at her nails.

“He’ll see that i’m a perfect match for queen and throw that stupid broad back to the rags she came from..”

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I’m sorry for not posting things recently guys! I’m trying to get myself together and I’m in a rough spot mentally, but I’m trying! I should be getting to around to posting more soon!