#i have to get back to writing bc i havent posted in forever and i feel like i suckđ
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am I overreacting yes or no QUICKLY
#the thing is im not reacting in any way on purpose so like#is it even me overreacting or is it the evil troll in my head#plus i think this is a perfectly adequate reaction to literally everything in my life going to shit at once yayâ¨ď¸#actually i havent engaged in any substance abuse or self harm or homicide so i think. if anything. im underreacting#anyway fuck everything and everyone bla bla bla my life will never be the same nl#bla bla bla im forever ruined BORING#where is the part where i burn down my childhood home ? where is the drama the action etc etc#im tired of the fucking endless crying and self pity like eeeeeew#i wanna go back to turing the pain into really weird and fucked up writing#not crying until i get wrinkles#i know i posted all that shit abt being at peace with your aging but apparently I LIED#bc this stress has made me have so many new random wrinkles and i HATE them and i hate feeling ugly on top of feeling like shit#im gonna go sniff some botox until i look 4 months younger <3#tw
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here are some of my wips⌠pls lmk which one i should finish first..đđ
#em talks#polls#SIIIIGHHHH#i have to get back to writing bc i havent posted in forever and i feel like i suckđ
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i need to write more.
#anyways my loz wips doc is almost at 50k words. and i have posted almost none of it bc its all half-finished stuff....#and just really unedited stuff. maybe i should actually go and edit the stuff in there. theres some diamonds in the rough#if we add the separate au that gets its own doc thats. another 10k words. hm.#i just dump words in my docs and then i go back and look and im like wow i write more than i thought. and then i never post any of it.#sigh i havent managed to write anything in like forever though...(2 weeks)
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i gotta admit, i do feel a little .. cheated on? i guess, or jealous perhaps, that i seem to have to work so hard just to get me to draw, not even anything of substance, or a lot, i always undersell how much time it took me to draw soemthing bc i ... am embarassed about some half assed doodle taking me 5 hours. i feel ashamed of taking so long for everything.
i am taking forever for the totk rewrite that i dont even know if its any good (im more confident about my design skills than writing..), despite constantly thinking about it i still havent properly started on the rant script (its not even art ..), and my comic that i still want to continue .. i havent updated in months? a year now? (i have NOT lost interest in it, i am daydreamign and working on it in my head still..)
maybe thats a selfish thing to admit to feeling, but man, i am so fuckign jealous, i always feel like i should be able to, i KNOW i am not shit at everything, but i cant get it OUT; like back in school when my teachers told me i am not horrible, i am actually pretty good, "i know you can do this, you have the skill." while meant to be uplifting, sicne i always think (or rather, FEEL like) i am bullshitting everything and nothing i make/write is actually any good or knows what its talkign about, it also felt like ... an accusation? like i am purposfully not doing it, i am not doing enough, i am holding back somehow, like they are asking me to stop holding back, and i just look at the ground not knowing what to do or say.
and i HATE wasting time, i cant stand looking at the clock and realizing i have been doodling back and forth on this one thing for 4 hours, and now i have to go to bed. no progress. nothing to show. nothing to feel accomplished. its not always, of course, but way WAY too many times ...
i see others churn out so much stuff, high quality stuff, and jsut think .. i should be able to do that too, i have seen myself be able to do it but its random times once or twice a year when i focus on one piece like i had gone mad- i really dont like how resentful it can make me feel towards people i dont know and dont deserve it (i do not actually hate or send hate, its just that .... shitty, shitty feeling)
hopefully this will be the last time for a longer time of me doing this type of post, but i felt it so strongly right now, it needed out
#ganondoodles talks#i know i said i didnt want to post that much personal stuff anymore#but i needed to get his out#i saw soemthign that made me feel deeply resentful and just .. like all the work i had done is wasted doubly bc others have done it better#-already#and it takes me so long to get ANYTHING done#i have wanted- DEEPLY wanted to do alot of things for the few friends i have#and yet cant get myself to do it#and i feel so shitty about everything#i dont want to leave people hanging#to promise things i cant do#to take this long for anything ........ both for others and for me#is this a ME issue or soemthign actually wrong#how do i find out what it is thats causing this block out of the many things definitely wrong with me#is it even worth it to try#or will trying to find it out only hurt more#... here i go late night emotion posting again...#if you read this long- i have considered the feedback for the ganon design#but am struggeling to finish it.#sorry
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Neteyam Head-cannons
Ik I havent posted in forever lol but hereâs some one shots.
â˘Neteyam is definitely cocky.
â˘Heâll be bragging, teasing, just a big âol ass before and after starting to dating.
â˘I think if you were human, he wouldnât like you at first.
â˘I mean, Neytiri IS his mom, and she doesnât trust them at all, so I feel she would teach Neteyam to think the same.
â˘I think at first he would think your pathetic and disregard you until you eventually get pissed and prove yourself worthy.
â˘After that it will sort of be a competition between you.
â˘Whoâs better at hunting, cooking, fighting, etc., itâs always a competition.
â˘I think that someone will have to point it out to him that he likes you.
â˘Like imagines Jake asking about you, and Neteyam is saying he doesnât care.
â˘and Jake being like, âbitch wtf,â and having to mansplain it to him.
â˘At first heâll deny it all he wants, but eventually heâll get it.
â˘From then on, he tries to impress you, but subtly so you donât know.
â˘I just know that one day your gonna be frustrated, prob bc someone from the village said smth abt u being a sky human, and Neteyam is just bothering you and you blow up.
â˘Youâll yell him why heâs always mean to you, and heâll yell back because he loves you.
â˘Thereâs gonna be like a pause, and your gonna ask does he mean it.
â˘âOf course I fucking love you Y/n, how could I not?â
â˘After that you two sont really get together, but your definitely more flirty.
â˘Eventually, Neytiri tells Neteyam to man up and tell you how he feels (even though he already did đ¤)
â˘Of course heâs gonna be confused and ask Neytiri why, bc she hates sky people.
â˘She then says it reminds her of herself and Jake. Saying that she knows he really loves her, and she only wants the best.
â˘Itâs gonna be so cute on how he asks you out tho.
â˘Literally right after this talk, heâs running around the village looking for you.
â˘I imagine kind of a book of life moment, where heâs running to you.
â˘âY-/N!! I love you!! (The book of life scene where Manolo is running after the train saying he will wait for Maria)
â˘Yâall are so gonna be cute together.
â˘His siblings definitely tease him about you.
â˘ESPECIALLY LOâAK.
â˘Kiri and you will be close of course
â˘Tuk wants to play dolls with you and will beg you to spend time with her instead of Neteyam (cutieeee)
â˘Jake and Neytiri are your biggest fans
â˘Yâall will have problems along the way, about being sky human, the villages opinions, etc., but thatâs what it takes in a relationship :)
A/N: Hope you guys liked this, and I wanna start writing more, so just leave comments or requests!!
#avatar#atwow#neteyam#neteyam sully#neteyam x you#neteyam sully imagine#neteyam sully x reader#neteyam scenario#neteyam sully x y/n#neteyam x human reader#neteyam sully x human
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2024 Writing Roundup
tagged by @goodlucktai MWAH <3
Words Posted:
92,074
Additional Words Written:
the sheer magnitude of my google doc file count consisting of half buried wips and also rambles about my own dnd character would kill a small child
Fandoms:
TMNT
Trigun
its weird bc I was into like several things this year but also nothing stuck in my old brain soup so here's hoping 2025 makes me more deranged in new and exciting ways
Highest kudos + Highest Hit One-Shot:
I think forget me nots tbh for both lol
New Things I Tried:
collabing! if you somehow missed the gioverse collab fic thing w me and rem and tai and sol, well.
Fic I Spent The Most Time On:
absolutely the thing that buries me I have genuinely had this as a wip in my docs for over a year
Fic I Spent The Least Time On:
that is impossible to tell because I obsessed over all of them for different reasons I fear. maybe the 'kitchen counters' chapter in live to let you shine because I was in a fugue state of insanity
Favourite Thing I Wrote:
sun digs its heels was an ode to my poor baby kitty cat so I think that one
Favourite Thing(s) I Read:
BRO. SO MANY.
If I have to narrow it down...
we know im the number one taizi stan thats the loml but the gioverse truly pulled me into a creativity spiral i have not felt in forever so please read raised on little light immediately. only going up from here is the portal duo vibe forever along with can't help but become the sun. made me cry, worlds were changed.
I was not expecting my fave fic writer from years ago to come back with a sequel to underdark let alone this absolutely insanely good banger of a post rise movie fic along with the current follow up. the way mikey and leo are in this made me feel. agony? I think agony. anyways @plothooksinc 's stuff is really emotional and action packed and gets the characterizations right in such a specifically intense way.
take one for the team by @remedyturtles made me clinically unwell actually, and of course deathwish because sensei is actually i think the depressed millennial of all time. the way rem writes punches me straight through with an emotion I do not know how to name so there's that.
creation of a philosophers stone is so unique to me and about a dynamic with mikey and draxum that I never see really delved into? idk this is some incredible stuff by IgnisCanis
for something completely different, houses like tombs absolutely wrecked me. jjk content is always heartbreaking in this way that knocks me over but this one is so unique. damn.
I really need to remember to bookmark stuff more often because I definitely read way more than this and I have likely forgotten some life changing stuff but what can we do
Writing Goals for 2025:
write more tbh! I have a million google docs but it would be cool to finish more things
New Works:
hadestown au with tai will be real i s2g as will the daemon au, which I am keeping alive with my bare hands thanks. I am currently working on a sequel to running on low which I'm determined to finish sometime in the next few months i hope
With new trigun season coming out.... ambiguously soon... I'm sure I'll be overcome and crazed there, and will definitely finish the thing that buries me asap too
Tagging:Â
tagging @byrdybyrd02 and @camsthisky if yall havent done one of these already! and of course anyone who wants to :)
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Fanfic Writer Interview
thank you @alonelystargazer for tagging me!
no pressure tags @earthtodora @sunnyyflowerrs @kentuckyfriedmegumi and @kat-likes-writing !!!
How many works do you have on AO3?
counting the ones i moved to "anonymous" i have 36 for 3 fandoms
Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:
Family is Embarrassing
Dancing With a Stranger
summer lovin'
koi no yokan
honey and lavender
all itafushi. i write other fandoms/ships sometimes but yeah im mostly known for itafushi. if i can even call myself known.
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
okay so i DO but im just really slow right now because of uni. like i have 100+ comments stacked up im so sorry guys. uni is kicking my ass. but usually i try to bc i like to let readers know that i appreciate the support <3
Whatâs the fic youâve written with the angstiest ending?
....this is hard i have a few that are pretty bad. the one that hurts me the most is right where you left me (ghost au)....idk it's like sad and happy. they both sortaaa get what they need but also like they dont get to be together, and i think (hope) it was obvious from the start that a happy ending wasn't on the table for them
Whatâs the fic youâve written with the happiest ending?
contrary to popular belief i write a lot of happy endings!!!!!! i want to say koi no yokan even though it's not out yet, not because it has the objectively happiest ending, but because the whole thing is so angsty and a lot of people have said they doubt that i'll actually give a happy ending. and i will! anyway, i'd say its the happiest because its like. relieving at the end. without giving too much away.
Do you write crossovers?
i don't think i'd write a crossover in the traditional sense where characters from two medias interact, but i've written au's where i put the characters from x show into the universe from y show. that's probably as close as i'll get to a crossover.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
four times...ngl i was a bit confused abt one bc it felt like they hadn't read the fic, one time they just hated the ship and took it out on the fic, and the other was recent......that once kinda upset me bc of the second ask they sent.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
uh. hm. i have. i'm very shy abt it so i would never post it in a way that'd tie back to me, and only a few ppl actually know abt the details.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i've seen.........but im also chronically offline these days
Have you ever had a fic translated?
also no, but i do frequently get comments in spanish which is cool
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
tbh i think it'd be fun, but i'm also so particular abt my process that i think it'd frustrate the other person. however....there would potentially be a few ppl i'd be interested in writing with. but once again, i'm shy
Whatâs your all-time favorite ship?
itafushi ofc. my number one forever, i don't think a singular ship has ever grabbed me by the throat like this before
Whatâs a WIP that you want to finish but donât think you ever will?
sigh theres so many. i recently published a new fic and i'm like not even feeling motivated to write the next two chapters......i feel bad abt that bc i did already share it. this is why i need to write all if not most of the multichapter before i share it. most of the things i have rn are just ideas tho bc i havent had time to write much that's new
What are your writing strengths?
oh god......um i think i do a good job creating an emotional atmosphere and taking the reader inside the pov character's head
What are your writing weaknesses?
description for sure. i'm just not good with visual things, whether its art or descriptions in writing. i'm also not observant which doesn't help like i couldn't tell you anything about what's happening around me right now which is Not Good. either way it hinders my writing fs. also i think sometimes i struggle w pacing and characterization. and dialogue. um. honestly i think i have a lot of weaknesses, i'm not the fondest of my own writing unfortunately.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
hm. i think it has a place ig, but personally i would never do it, despite the fact that i'm trilingual and definitely have the capacity to.
also this is an unpopular opinion, and i think it comes from my time studying japanese in university, but when i see like "gojo-sensei," or "itadori-kun" type things, it does make me cringe a bit. like i know that is what they are saying but like if i did that in class it would be marked wrong so i've just been trained to read it as incorrect.
Whatâs a fandom/ship you havenât written for yet but want to?
ngl rn im only interested in writing for itafushi. i would like to write more for tokyo ghoul soon though
Whatâs your favorite fic youâve written?
at this present moment.....right where you left me. there is also a budding au in my drive that i'm quite fond of but i'm waiting to share more details on that
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hii I love all ur posts and writing !! (bare with me english not my native language but talking with people helps)
just wanted to ask what do u think hawks would be like when thinking abt getting married, some people think he isnt that type of person more like douchebag / playboy etc but hes a sweetheart deep down considering everything that happened to him (and "mean!hawks" too IDK hes prob just a annoying tease in bed) anyways i was thinking about it earlier and i was like wtf would he do, im sure he would do it in private but other than that idk because the commission, planning, what are ur thoughts? maybe he would be really anxious thinking about it but he knows ur the one? nobody has written about this like for real ( i THINK) if u or someone else has tell me PLEASE. i"ve been thinking about it for a while (a Lil embarrassed ngl)
just asking what u think in general what he would do bc like said havent seen anyone talk about it
at the start of the relationship, he's probably like nervous to even be in one but after like 3 months or something he probably wants to be with you forever and never let u go, it would be a bit hard for him to plan it all out because he barely has anyone to talk about it other than you unless he hired someone which no.. i think because he wants to make it special from his heart + the commission giving him any time to do anything let alone a honey moon and blah ya know?
other than that im stumped no idea
(u can ignore idm !! )
(MHA season 6 episode 3 spoilers ahead!)
People say Hawks is a playboy, but that couldn't be further from the truth. He's such a sweetheart. Self sacrificing.
I think he falls hard. It is extremely difficult for him to trust, given not only his childhood, but his time with the commission, too. With the amount of undercover dirty work they made him do, there's no doubt they taught him from very young to trust no one. The message from his parents and the commission is clear: he can only trust himself.
But... We know Keigo still feels; so, so strongly. Dabi mocks him for it, mocks him because he can't stop himself from being "distracted by his emotions". Even when he knows what he's "supposed" to do in the Twice scene, he hesitates because it fucking hurts, he still feels pangs of empathy. Despite all he was taught about shutting off your emotions, that's something he still can't do completely, even if he ultimately decides to do the opposite of what he feels.
So. It would take a very, very long time for him to truly open up to you, much less recognize his feelings as romantic (he goes through a stage of denial, because he never saw himself actually being "selfish" and allowing himself a real relationship). But once he has his mind made up, and really makes that decision to be yours, he will not give that up for anything. He follows through to the end.
I think he always wanted to get married. Not in the way his parents did; he never did have a good example. But the way people on TV did, the way they wax poetic about in songs he never understood. He is definitely the marriage, soulmates kind of guy. He craves that slow, that domesticity, to protect.
You make such a good point that he wouldn't know what to do because he has no one to talk about it with... But he knows he wants it to be special. He would fret and fuss so hard about it being perfect, trying to impress you and stressing over it so badly.
Until one day, you grab his hand and tell him, "lets get married, right here. Right now." It doesn't have to be official to be entirely authentic and in love and you. To the backdrop of the dim light of a summer evening, under the flourescent glow of the string lights adorning your back porch, you have your first dance to the tune of the creaky wood beneath your feet. You dance to the tune of a love song he finally understands.
#SORRY I WROTE AN ESSAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH ITS SPILLING OVER#this ask made me FEEL THINGS#hitting my head against a wall#i love him#mean hawks is an entirely bed based headcanon#irl hes a sweet boy#đ asks#bnha spoilers#mha spoilers#hawks x reader#keigo takami x reader
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Hi hello I wanna talk a bit about CD currently but Im not sure if its gonna be too long/negative so I'm gonna put my thoughts under a lid <3
So like. To start off it's really not a secret that I have a lot of trouble when it comes to crafting stories. This has been the case for many years, and will continue to be the case probably forever.
Challenger Deep felt like an exception to this at first, but since starting development on it my life took some turns that made it clear that CD suffers from the same and from different problems
To start with... I started using it as a vehicle for my grief at the start. Talas (especially) and Graves were both used as vehicles for my grief while I was going through stuff the past couple of years, and that inevitably bled through into The Everything.
It's not a bad thing to do this at all mind you (It helped me immensely) but it gave CD a strange foundation for me to build on that now I feel like I am at a major disconnect with, so I would like to build some more foundation around it, so to speak.
I would like to recraft the story (not rewrite it entirely because theres things i rly love, but theres others that I'd like to improve), and a lot of the lore (I feel like I closed my options a bit too much with some of it so I want to make it more expansive too. Part of why I wrote it the way it was was so I could invite friends to make stuff for CD but that did not go over well at all so I think I am going to not do that again). I just havent had the time to work on it properly, and since it's in this state where I feel like I need to "fix" it, I don't feel as passionate about it as last year so at the moment I'm letting it ride and waiting for when I'm excited to work on it again
I would like to add more characters as well and actually do justice writing-wise to the characters that are already in there too.
Also I won't lie, a big part of my investment in CD until recently was my oc ship, with Talas and Hades, and ever since I got into my current relationship I just havent thought much about them at all because I started pretty much actually living all of the shitposts and tropes I'd written and it started making me feel a bit strange to write/draw about that, so I need to fix that as well. See why I feel weird about it and what I can do to stop it and get back to those two
Additionally I've had a redesign of talas and hades' markings in my WIPs for months now. Hades is done, but on Talas' side Im not sure how to add in his bioluminescence pattern because something isnt working for me. I wanted him to be more visibly purble though with said markings. Everything else I really like, its just the glowy pattern (though watch me change the markings anyways bc im an indecesive beast)
Here's a snippet of them:
I wanted them both to have more natural fishy looking markings pretty much
So yeah, that's currently the state of things. I miss it a lot and i rly wanna work on it again proper, maybe now that I've acknowlegded it and made a post about it I will get a second wind like I've gotten before after getting The Gunk out of my chest.
If you read all that thank you I hope you have a swag day <3
#thunderclap#challenger deep#putting this in the tag in the meantime for anyone who might be curious as to why i havent really spoken about it#windyart
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hello!! im finally making an info post yay :D !! my name is pluto, this is my rezero blog (which i use more than my main one atm bc im a huge nerd for rezero lajdslfj) -
there is the occasional nsfw post on here but it will be tagged as such
as for rezero spoilers - i tend to be pretty good about tagging them (usually with "arc *insert number* spoilers" or occasionally itll look like "arc 7-8 spoilers", for example) but sometimes i miss some stuff so there'll be general spoilers on this blog!!
you can find my art at "my art" and my writing at "my writing" on this blog yep self-explanatory. i also sometimes rotate between shitposting and analysis posting đ
my "suffaru post" tag has some of my older posts but now its mostly used whenever i talk about random tidbits about myself on here
i had an incident called the mosquito saga. its really good trust me bro go read
also -
you can find my youtube here (i'll be posting rezero pmvs/animatics on there? maybe?)
and my ao3 is right here yep (i post rezero fics on there hah)
and my main blog is here
if youd like to support me - i have a kofi here and a redbubble shop (yes with rezero stuff) here!!
common (?) questions/concerns:
please ask for permission and credit me if youre reposting any of my posts onto other sites!! i know this is the internet but i guarantee you i will happily say yes if you ask me first and link your repost back to me if you take the time đ
"ayo you havent answered my ask in forever" VERY SORRY ABOUT THAT i'll get to it eventually !! <3
âim a reader of your fics, a few of them havent been updated in ages so whats up / what was gonna happen in them?â making a post on this soon đ
âyour super old take is wrongâ ty for updating me 𼺠but also pls feel free to eat my memories gluttony-style sORRY FOR BEING WRONG RAGGH THAT POST WAS A DECREPIT OLD MAN :<<
âyour super recent take is wrongâ fair fr, im always down to get opinion changed, mind opened, and character developed :> i am no perfect expert pls do naur take my every word as gospel like those witch cultists amirite đ
âfanfic recs? :oâ also working on this, but if you have specific stuff you want feel free to ask ig đ
âđ§Łâ pain. agony beyond measure.
anyway thanks for visiting my blog :3 hope you enjoyed your stay
#big thanks to everyone who said theyd be interested if i made a youtube skdndn#đ#also you will know who my favorites in rezero are bc i will be making content about them always. oops
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a petekey reading of so much (for) stardust
aka you knew i'd do this aka i didnt take four literature classes in college for nothing aka make sure your tinfoil hat is SECURED to your noggin aka dear lord forgive me for committing sins of petekey in the year of 2023
look. i have to do this or i don't deserve this blog. amen
~ love from the other side
okay. yea, immediately the "you were the sunshine of my lifetime" thing is sort of sus, because we all know pete wentz and anytime sun or summer is involved it's Something. this is solidified in "summer falling through our fingers again" in verse 2, but it's interesting that he uses "ours" in this lyric bc i feel like recently most of pete's summer lyrics have been pretty self-inflicted. it's impossible to not note the whole "inscribed like stone and faded by the rain" in the bridge v. "the tombstones were waiting" line in bang the doldrums. i shant even elaborate u can pick up what i'm laying down!
~ heartbreak feels so good
i think this song is pretty light on petekey imagery but "light from a screen of messages unsent" kinda reminds me of "some nights it gets so bad i almost pick up the phone" in ginasfs but i could be reaching for Sure. let's be real that's all i do
~ hold me like a grudge
honestly i think this is one of the worst petekey offenders on the album. this one had me gawking at my screen as i read the lyrics. "thaw out my freezer burn feelings for twenty summers" ??? be SERIOUS pete... "part-time soulmate, full-time problem" yeah I GET IT I GET IT !!! the whole thing reeks of 2005 summertime fling
~ fake out
"do you laugh about me whenever i leave?" bonkers ass line,,this reminds me of pete's lj writing in those years after 2005,,,"my mood board is just pictures of you, but i'm not sad anymore" YEAH. this is SO pete holy fuck. that classic wentz obsession,,"we did for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never gonna change" this line's got me on the fuckin FLOOR. also classic pete!!! his perchance for nostalgia is just insane and he really feels it huh
~ heaven, iowa
i dont even know how to get into this one. "kiss my cheek, baby, please/would you read my eulogy?" SICK and TWISTED evil!!! evil!!! "i will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me" jesus h christ the melancholy is off the charts but holy fuck this song is so,,,tender? i dont know wht to say but i know this was written w summer of love intention. i know this in my heart. "scar-crossed lovers, forever" OKAY I KNOW !!! this song is DEVASTATING verse 2 is fucked UP and the bridge is too!!! "closed my eyes inside your darkness and found your glow"???? i cantr og on
~ so good right now
i can't really discern any particularly petekey lyrics in this one right away but the whole "i cut myself down to be whatever you need me to be" is pretty fucking wild
~ i am my own muse
there's some really sad lyrics in this one ab the whole future-not-going-as-planned thing that comes up so frequently in pete's writing but honestly the whole "let's twist the knife again, twist the knife again like we did last summer" thing made my head explode. every lover's got a lil dagger in their hands!!!
~ flu game
im not gonna sit here and type out ths whole fucking song but oh my GOD bro. this song to me is a really nice callback to pete's older style of lyricism but that comes with the self-deprecation and all the other really sad shit. it's beautiful! it's horrible! i love it!!! its about mikey i cant even pul out a few lyrics just LISTEN
~ baby annihilation
another fucked up one that literally anyone else in fob should have vetoed but OKAY?? "time is luck and i wish ours overlapped more or for longer" MAN SHUT UP. "self sabotage at best, under your spell/but you know what they say, if you want a job done right, you gotta do it yourself" ..........dude. if you're like me and you've poured over pete's oooold lj posts from the mid 2000s you already get it, but if you havent,,,go do it and get back to me bc this is TOO MUHC im unwell. "what is there between us if not a little annihilation?" i think i hauve covid
~ the kintsugi kid (ten years)
this song is really fucking sad actually. there's so much fear of being forgotten on this album and it's showcased really beautifully in this song,,,mayhaps not the most obviously petekey song but god damn
~ what a time to be alive
this song's about covid and quarantine n it's pretty easy on the whole suffering from a fling in 2005 thing! good job pete and fob
~ so much (for) stardust
this song is kinda suspicious but there's very few lines that really solidify it as a petekey song,,, altho "i think i've been going through it, and ive been putting your name through it" is a really interesting lyric. and OF COURSE, "in another life, you were my babe/in another life, you were the sunshine of my lifetime" happy xmas war is over
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Fic ask
4, 13, 20!
HELLO MY FAVORITE PROFESSOR ELM STAN THANK U FOR THE MEMES!!! hey actually these are all ones i havent thought about so made me put on my THINKIN CAP. and hey actually actually this got really long really fast so im PUTTING IT UNDER A READ MORE!!!
4. a story idea you haven't written yet
Ok so like. I've got these two ideas kicking around in my head from time to time that I'm like. Still kind of workshopping. One is a fanfic and one is an original fic. But basically I've had in my head since forever (10 years of Big Thinking) about a big Digimon sort of odyssey that originally started as a Pokemon x Digimon crossover where I took the Rocket executives and shoved them into the digital world. I have a whole world built for it already and a central sort of issue/theme revolving around a power struggle between the Demon Lords and the Royal Knights. The Royal Knights control HUB City, which is the major settlement in the continent, the Demon Lords control the Dark Lands, and kind of like usual they all want to wipe each other out. There's eventually a viral sort of glitch that starts to deteriorate the digital world and jumps to the real world.
Part of my problem is I've wanted to make it a comic or at the very least an illustrated fic and part of the problem is I'm trying to decide if I want to keep it as a crossover or just slap some new names onto the execs bc i gotta be real, the pokemon world and other pokemon characters. do not feature. at all.
its really just an excuse for me to give petrel a digimon.
anyways they all have full evolution lines planned, i've got a few major story beats, plot points, and the major final twist decided on. i also have 5 amvs that i play in my head on a loop when i drive to and from work.
also in this fic some digimon are gay (stingmon and flamedramon makeout sessions when) and trans (crusadermon, trans queen) ive decided
i think ive posted old art before extending the au to some characters and for my perfworld mutuals if youve seen my sycamore + dukemon art before that specific dukemon is also from this au. ive also got a fic i did publish where i workshopped a little bit of HUB city & a few side characters
i am now realizing i meant to also talk about the original fic i have planned and that one is a short story about a serial killer who murders hitchhikers picking up a hitchhiking serial killer and that one is less planned out but i know they sloppy kiss in the end
13. a fandom you're thinking about writing for
so like besides pokemon and tiger & bunny & digimon there's none i actively have fic ideas for, but some fandoms I think I'd like to revisit are Sonic and Zelda. Actually I had a Zelda fic I abandoned back on FFNet that I'd like to take another crack at one day where the premise was it was a modern setting based on the OOT/TP Hyrule (mostly OOT) where magic and fairies and such are regarded as superstition sort of the same way they are now, and the wondrous races (Goron, Zora, Kokiri/Korok, etc. even the Sheika to some extent) had all died out, leaving pretty much just the human races like Hylian, Terminian, Gerudo, etc. (In this case Termina is legitimately a neighboring kingdom/country and not limbo/purgatory ok??) And the kicker was Link was like. a hardcore atheist. but i think i remember people getting mad at me bc i made his legal name "Mahas" which I MUST IMPLORE YOU. THIS IS CANONICALLY HIS NAME AS OF SKYWARD SWORD. BELIEVE IT OR NOT THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT TO BUILD A PSEUDO LANGUAGE IN SKYWARD SWORD. WE KNOW HIS NAME IS MAHAS BECAUSE IN THE BEGINNING WHEN FI IS JUST CALLING HIM LINK AND NOT MASTER LINK HER VOICE LINES ARE EVER ONLY MAHAS. ONCE SHE BEGINS CALLING HIM MASTER LINK ANY TIME IT APPEARS ON SCREEN SHE SAYS "MAARI MAHAS." SO IM RIGHT OK FUCK OFF IM RIGHT. DIE MAD FFNET. DIE. MAD.
ahem.
im normal now.
anyways yeah i'd like to write for elder scrolls again too i think but like. something more original than the supernatural/TESIV Oblivion retelling crossover i tried once.
You can find that one on my ao3 but im not linking it.
20. in what year did you publish your first fic?
In the year of our lord 2005 (pensive emoji)(raised fist emoji) I published a... fic of some kind to FFNet.
You won't find it anymore, I deleted it a long time ago! I'm not sure if it was 'Rocket Road Trip' or 'The Rebellion,' but it was one of those. I used to write a ton of OC team rocket fics, and this was back in the day when the Rocket Executives had no name so you either thought there was 1 guy exec and 1 girl exec or you thought each exec encounter in GSC was a different person, and that was me. So I gave them all names and threw them into a truck together and i think in the very first chapter they were leaving the Team Rocket HQ and they ran over and left to die the OC who would later go on to be repurposed into Proton except his name was Steve then and he was a special classification of trainer class that I called a "Random Rocket," and the thing about Random Rockets was they all had very generic names (Steve, Bob, Juan, I think there was a Nancy once but she never got to show up in a fic or rp?) but the OTHER thing about Random Rockets was no one knew what they looked like because canonically their faces were all censored with a big ass mosaic effect (this was written, not draw.)
anyways farla cussed me out on 3 or 4 different fics back when she used to cuss out literal children so I deleted all my fics from 2005 - 2008 and then I deleted more of them when I went to college.
don't be like farla.
edit: self-plugging my old FFNet account for the lulz. yes it is i, the original author of Slowpoke Tails and Koffing Fumes.
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Me: 'aw no i shouldnt read a fic set in the music industry, it'll get me sad about abandoning my own dreams; nope nuhuh, apologies, moving on' -> fast forward a few weeks -> i see ur fic pop up every now n then on both ao3 n tmblr, tempting me to read it -> fast forward again, it's tday -> i end up caving in eventually when i see it on my dash again; checked out the first chapter while having lunch earlier. Got H o o k e d by ur narrative. And so i inhaled two more chaptrs a sec ago while commuting back home aaaaand lil old me proceeded to be WILDLY inspired by ch4 shenanigans and immediately i >Needed< to relisten to the Liszt performance, seeing it anew yet again, and then also dug up some soundtracks i made once upon a time when id been fooling around w the idea of expressing myself thru music -> fast forward again, im home now, n getting all giddy ab it, cheeks flushed n feeling alive, i tell u - im about to dust my piano n just smash at the keys for the till-now-abandoned fun of it, first time in forever. (It won't be good, but it'll be real, it'll be me.) I just. I feel the raw emotion in your fic and it made my heart pound while reading it. You >get it< jfc. (Also satosugu n others work So Well in ur story, so in character, u make it look so natural, as if jjk had always been ab music production and not a grimdark shounen). I only just finished the 4th chapter and im not caught up yet, but i couldnt have waited to tell u my thoughts so. There goes!! ((Also even months later im still deeply wounded by canon so i feel like im irrevocably dysregulated when it comes to engaging w satosugu haha, apologies if i come off strong. U just combined two passions of mine into one fic and im feeling So Fucking Grateful i wanna kiss u on the forehead and bless u for seven generations forward. Again - i havent yet finished what u've already dished out (bless ur soul for posting ur work holyhell) so ima come back when i have more unhinged thoughts as i read. Your writing is so On Point i can't contain myself (my heart is singing w joy because when i connect w the writing style i connect HARD. And lemme tell u, your style is both intense and light and professional and that's my fav combo, ima go n cry over my piano now bye. Until next time, ily sm) (also sorry about this longass ask, it was meant to be a oneliner but it got away from me bc.. Emotions, damn) -royce
Oh... Um...
Excuse me while I fucking cry over MY piano, what the actual fuck đ I think this is the biggest compliment I could possibly receive, you have NO FUCKING IDEA how happy it makes me to read that my fic inspired you to sit down at the piano again, holy shit???
cheeks flushed n feeling alive, i tell u - im about to dust my piano n just smash at the keys for the till-now-abandoned fun of it, first time in forever. (It won't be good, but it'll be real, it'll be me.)
I am sobbing and kicking my feet all at once at this image, I love you I love you I love you. Please tell me, how did it go?? Did you have fun? Did it feel good? God, I hope it did!!! đ
I started writing this fic to heal some of my own hurt about leaving a career in music behind, so I'm writing this for people like you and me. You're my ideal reader and you couldn't POSSIBLY come off too strong. PLEASE come back with your unhinged thoughts, I will gladly scream with you about this â in fact, I'm desperate to do exactly that!
Royce, you're everything. Thank you so much for all your lovely words about my writing too, this soothes all of my doubts about deciding to post something so deeply self-indulgent all those months ago. This is for YOU đŤś
as if jjk had always been ab music production and not a grimdark shounen
Also, what do you mean? That's what it's about, isn't it? đ
#call me satoru because it is truly gojover for me#âĽ#threshold fic#threshold ask#aroyce#ask fushiglow
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dylan posting!!!!!! she gets me excited the same way i get excited whenever i see a corydora or loach. iâve also read your taskmaster tactfully mastery breakdown a lot and itâs def on the list now. hoping to get to it along with a few things like golden kamuy and actually watching s3 of hilda. finals went well and im now in biomedical hell. oh and iâve recently been thinking about possibly writing a little hilda fic as iâve been getting into photography(odd combination that im welcome to explaining) but fear and hungerâs got me by the nose hairs. anyways im very happy to see dylan posting and forever looking forward to more as i lay down my life for her like im a red carpet. sorry for such a long thingy im just excited to talk to you. hope alls been well and that youâre days have been happy keep up the good work we all care for you :3
!!!!! i had to look up a corydora and outloud said 'oh my goodness' bc how handsome are these guys?!
i'm so glad you like her :-3 she's chilling out in kaisa's flat rn. your ask came thru the door like a letter and she is reading it and giggling delightedly. i prommy (promise) i will have more stuff to show for her soon (actual fucking lore maybe PICK UP THE PACE LILA!!) i've been so busy <3 & you should absofruitly watch taskmaster it's so funny. theres a lot of it you can watch on youtube !
i'm so glad finals went well CONGRATS!!!! does this mean you've graduated/starting your next year?! I'M SO PROUD!!!! your future is bright!!! we can celebrate together, i got accepted into my top choice uni the other day!!!
i'm keeping my eyes peeled for your hilda fic if you ever write it.. and i'm certainly interested as to how it intertwines with your interest in photography?!?! you know what since specialising in illustration i haven't used the darkroom at school. i rly like doing mixed media though so maybe i should get on that. feel free to send another ask and elaborate :-D
i also havent heard of fear & loathing or golden kamuy but they look very gritty and interesting.. don't apologise for a long ask!!! it's nice to hear how youre doing and i'm glad things are going good!! thank you for the well wishes im sending them right back <3 much love!!
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Im just soso obsessed with figuring out tim as a character rn i cant stop thinking abt it (ive always been a jason todd girlie but i read ur fic and that angsty twink latched onto me and refuses to let go)
I think u have a pretty good hold of him, especially bc in present comics writers are so intent on elevating tim in spite of other characters (barbara and her hacking skills for example, or any comparison made btw him and any robin, really) that most portrayals of him are so boring it makes me cry, while you on the other hand took the approach to write about his flaws (which are MANY) while still making him charming and handsome (he is so... !!!!)
To me flaws are also tied to not only the good traits of characters but also their core beliefs and ideals so what can you say abt tim?
I know he can be stupidly arrogant and patronizing at times, that he's always idolized the position and legacy of robin and constantly fights his insecurities with this role and his abilities for the job, that he can also be incredibly selfish or outright mean when it comes to being mindful of other people's feelings for the sake of logic (re when he didnt tell tam abt his dad not being actually dead), but at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me
(Im in the midst of reading his solo robin run but ive read red robin so give me a little room for this, you are definitely free to talk abt more of his comics bc i havent read everything yet and everything im saying should be taken with a grain of salt, video essays and the issues ive read can only get me so far)
He could have gained an inherent desire to help people after all his time as robin and the so fucked up shit that happened to him, maybe as a ways to channel his grief (much like dick and jason and bruce, im thinking abt identity crisis here) after he isnt "needed" as robin anymore, but at the same time that would be so tragic because he was supposed to be different to them, he was supposed to remark the importance of robin's role in helping be "batman's light" and not becoming like batman himself, its just so interesting and im still trying to really understand the extent of his character so id just. Love to get ur thoughts and musings on what fuels tim as a character and how you see him
(I dont have this problem with jason bc his moral conflict is very crystal clear to me and also so freaking juicy, his actions are logical and so understable, granted he also hasnt had as much screentime as tim and i can see when writers just Dont Get Him, misunderstanding the original intent of his character coming back etc etc etc, tim has grown and evolved throughout his tim as robin so this might factor in too)
Anyways sorry for the long post i hope this is alright !!! Loved ur fic to bits and ur writing is a blessing mwah
okay HI i am not exaggerating when i say that i have been thinking about this ask since you sent it HAHA tim is just a parasite in my brain he won't let go...
that's the funny thing about portrayals of him today... i feel like people want to elevate him as a potential batman or a character closest to bruce in terms of intelligence and detective skills, which isn't true at all, i think (because, exactly, you have babs Right There), and of course, narratively, this is all a good thing (this post covers it well, i think). it's in the same vein of people making tim out as the most dangerous person in the batfam, should he ever chose to go down the path, which i can partially blame red robin (2009) for with this panel....
(and i don't think that's true either. he has the potential to be dangerous just like any of the others but i think the ones to really be scared of are babs, dick, and cass but ANYWAY)
in general, red robin 2009 was a bumpy time for tim with bruce's death and his spiraling, but it seemed to really inform what they were going to do with his character. no more time for the civilian life, committing himself much more thoroughly to The Mission like bruce. which is, if you ask me, a negative progression of his character, which isn't bad, exactly, in terms of storytelling, but it feels like all we get are the 'good parts' now -- the intelligence, the status, the resources, and then we don't get to grapple with the consequences.
there were some in red robin 2009 but it was more tim accepting them and making no move to change his actions, which is fine, but now... idk. but i also don't touch modern comics with a ten foot pole so this could just be. Wrong. but that seems like what's going on. so i feel like that's where people get the idea of him being... idk not the Perfect Robin exactly but. you know?
no no yeah i totally agree!
re (because i want to break this down i'm telling you i have Been Thinking About This): at the same time i cant figure out exactly what he wants to do with his role as robin (or red robin) or why he would want to keep going when his main goals first were just making sure bruce wouldnt go down a dark path, im pretty sure he mentioned not being a vigilante forever but his actual goals remain unclear to me
exactly this. he did say that and i've reblogged this at some point i think, showing a panel from robin 1993 where he mentioned he wouldn't be a vigilante forever, then paralleled with that panel i put in earlier from red robin 2009. (there's this post, which touches on another thing about tim trying to set himself apart as having friends and thus not being bruce LOL which is another topic entirely)
i think that was what red robin 2009 was - a negative progression of his character, one that, again, we never really grapple with, especially as dc shoves robin back onto him now.
his motivations are an interesting thing to me, because he did start out coincidentally, saying batman needed a robin but he didn't assume he'd be that robin, it just kind of happened because he was there (well much more went into it but you know?).
but aside from that, i've never gotten the impression tim really does it for people. i mean batman in general has been about the detective work but i think towards the 80s/90s/00s there was a shift to focusing on the people but tim has never really struck me as a hero of the people. he's more about fighting crime than he is about helping people. i think it is partially informed by the genre - re detective comics, etc - but still. he's not like, say, peter parker/spider-man, who is a hero of the people, of the working class. the people are inherent to him as spider-man. tim does it out of duty and responsibility i think, being the light to batman's dark, of course, but he's also very much a teenage boy about being robin - the cool factor, pointedly mentioning he wants to let off steam by knocking around 'criminals' that kind of thing
which doesn't mean he's unfit for it but he operates in an odd grey area as far as his motivation goes, which i think is where we get red robin? he was defined by being robin and he did his job, then he got the boot. so it is very much an identity crisis but we're seeing that negative change as he changes for the worse, for something darker. i mean, yes, red robin 2009 was again bumpy because he was at a very low point in his life but in general, that run was dark for him.
editorial wise, we'd never get to see what they made of it because they did the reboot and started new-52 a few years after. but whether he'd continue being red robin/going down this path, or if he'd shed the identity and go for something lighter... it's hard to say.
i kind of like the thought that he'd change his identity and try to take a lighter approach, try to pull himself from bruce's influence, though with how it's all set it up, it seems fated that he'd end up there. there was red robin 2009, but then there was his sixteenth birthday incident (which sounds bad here and i'd read this before reading it myself but god when i read it it pissed me off so bad... really what turned me off bruce as a 'good' father figure, i can't lie). he ultimately ends up going back and becoming robin and this is the turning point for him where he agrees to enter this mindset that bruce wants him to be in. (this post talks mainly about timsteph but it is also a point to the end about the shift in his character and how that affected his relationships as well)
i mean i know red robin 2009 is marked by the grief of bruce's 'death' and a bunch of other Very Bad Shit but even when we got past that and he had his little 'Let me let in the people who love me because i am Not batman' he then proceeded to go a little surveillance crazy and make a hit list (something like that, it's been a while..) but. yeah.
ultimately, at the core of his character, i think he is good and compassionate and kind, so, even aside from all that (like the birthday incident), i think he would've made his way there eventually. it could maybe be why we see him returning to robin, if we wanted to try and pretend dc making him be robin is a completely normal and logical decision that they actually thought through. like a way to return to the bases and feel it out from there. though i still think they could've just. idk. given him a BREAK from vigilantism to figure it out. i'm a big proponent of civilians and their place amongst vigilantes and superheroes and i feel like tim's due a break, which is why i put that stuff in my fics. i do want to see him step back and try to figure out his life, because at one point, though robin 1993 was arguably defined by the balance between robin and tim drake and had plenty of civilian friends to keep things interesting, we don't see much as far as what he wants to do. which i suppose could be part of his relatability factor that tim drake, the character, was conceived with
but idk at this point they have to give us something đ anyway. this got VERY long i am very sorry.. i don't mind long asks either but i might've overshot my response... alas. i also hope i more or less answered your question??? if not feel free to slide back in here and talk to me! i rambled a bit here and it's like. 3am rn i'm scheduling this to post because i wanted to get it all written Now and. yeah.
thank you SO much very happy to hear you're enjoying everything <333 hope you continue to enjoy :**
#also thank YOU for all your thoughts?? like i said i was Thinkign About This#and i had posts in mind for it and yeah. yeah. i was thinking about it all week HAHA#but also like twin brain moment because you get him <3 he is charming and handsome but he also has SOOOO many flaws and is actually rlly#annoying and puts his foot in his mouth TOO MUCH#so. YEAH. sorry this is long don't feel obligated to respond to All Of This <3 but if you have any q's feel free to ask <3#inbox#long post
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15 questions for 5 mutuals
Rule: You have to answer truthfully and you have to tag 5 mutuals in your post.
I was tagged by @apoloniaspiegelgold, thank you!! <3
1. Are you named after anyone?
nope! although my dad used to claim that i was named after some slavic actress/model/wife-of-Some-Guy whose name i always forget
2. When was the last time you cried? Why?
the weekend before the last, just your average sunday afternoon mental breakdown
3. Do you believe in Soulmates?Â
sort of, but also not really? i do believe that there are certain people who are supposed to be in your life at certain times but that doesnt necessarily mean "forever"
4. Do you drink liquor?Â
rarely - im not opposed to it, i just dont often do things where there's alcohol involved
5. What do you usually daydream about?
listen. i have a very specific daydream universe that i always come back to but. you know how you sometimes read a story and can pretty much guess what's wrong with the author? describing my daydreams would be like that except you wouldnt have to guess at all, it'd be the most on-the-nose thing you've ever seen. might as well just post a list of everything that ever went wrong in my life and it'd be less embarrassing
6. First thing you notice about other people?
their voice!! (i mean obviously lots of times you see people before you hear them, but i dont really notice anything more specific than a general impression about appearances at first glance, yk?)
7. What's your favorite quote from a TV show/movie/book?
does a poem count? cause the only thing i can think of is "Es gibt keine Schuld. Es gibt nur den Ablauf der Zeit." from tucholsky's poem aus, which i havent stopped thinking about since i read it nine years ago (and for which i still havent found an english translation, sorry!)
8. Some of your pet peeves?
absolutely hate when people overexplain stuff to me that i know, that you could reasonably assume i know, and that i've told you i know. i know a lot of times people mean well (which is why i wont get actively mad at anyone), but if i already told you i know about something, you really dont have to explain it to me like it's brand new information. (looking at all the guys who heard about my field of study and then went on to describe the most basic sociological concepts to me)
9. Whereâs the next place on your travel bucket list and why?
ireland!! i have no specific plans but i've wanted to go to ireland ever since i was a kid and saw the photos my parents took on their trip to ireland in the 90s
10. Where were you born?Â
in a small town in northern germany :)
11. What are your hobbies?
nothing exciting tbh - video games, talking to friends, going for walks, and writing (<- i say, barely having written anything in months)
12. What's the best joke you've ever heard?
bold of you to assume i can remember jokes
13. Whatâs your love language?Â
words of affirmation all the way - if i love you in any way, you will hear about it. thats both a threat and a promise.
14. Topics you never get tired of to talk about.
dragon age, what i'd vaguely describe as online media literacy, and social movements (especially far right movements, which i know sounds weird, but for some reason the FR became my main academic interest)
15. What would be the title if your life were a movie?Â
not sure if it'd actually fit, but a couple years ago i scribbled down the phrase "the grand stupidity of the general state of things" and ive just been waiting to use that as a title for anything ever since; so yeah sure, why not, title for a movie about my life!
also im gonna cheat here and only tag @78669 (only if you want to ofc!!) bc i love my mutuals but never talk to them and i dont want to annoy them :( (obviously everyone feel free to just consider themselves tagged, if you want to do this!)
#nina.txt#i hope the read more thing works never used it before#also hello i love tag games glad theyre still around somewhere on tumblr!!#but i genuinely never know who to tag#like realistically i dont think anyone would mind but also: what if they do#anyway. thank you so much for the tag this was fun!!
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