#i have to admit i am a little bit disappointed. probably shouldn't have hoped for 400 like last time but 47 in three days is a little meage

[ultimate-sword-showdown]

I'm bored, so let's look at some submission stats 3 days in!

Number of total submissions: 47

Number of unique submissions: 40

The following swords have been submitted to return and need additional submissions to be confirmed:

Myrtenaster (RWBY): needs 2 more submissions

Dragonslayer (Berserk): needs 2 more submissions

Sword of the Creator (Fire Emblem): needs 2 more submissions

Excalibur (Soul Eater): needs 2 more submissions

Nightblood (Warbreaker): needs 2 more submissions

Leo's Katanas/Odachi (RotTMNT): needs 2 more submissions (counting these both as one entity for simplicity's sake)

I recognize that tournaments are not nearly in their height as they were before, but this is quite the dropoff from last time. If submissions don't pick up soon I might have to remove the barrier for entry for the returning swords so any that got submitted even once will be included. I implemented that rule assuming I'd get as high a number of submissions as the first iteration did, but it seems that it wasn't necessary.

Anyways, I'd definitely like to reach at least 64 submissions before closing the poll, so if you can think of any more swords you'd like to submit or would like to help boost this at all that would be greatly appreciated :)

[hollowsart]

Since you said you already know the ending, I can say my favorite part of the reveal that Quentin really didn't turn back to villainy is that the way talks make everything he says sound really suspicious and like he is preparing something nasty but no, his voice just sounds like that.

I think he sounded rather defeated to me.

(SORRY THIS GOT REALLY LONG. I AM SO SORRY THAT THIS IS LIKE THE LONGEST POST I'VE EVER WRITTEN. HEAVY Spoilers below the cut as I am going through that video in its entirety apologies for how ungodly long this is!!):

[tl;dr: this man is tired and depressed and needs a vacation and to keep trying to live a better life, distance himself from his past and keep trying. He also deserves like so much better. Holy heck did he deserve so much better]:

"Mysterio will always be a villain, just as Spider-Man will always be a hero" disappointed in a way, he tried his best and he shouldn't let that incident get him down from trying to turn things around for himself.

the road to a better life is never easy.

He was so happy, so eager and excited to show off his big new thing! One not meant for evil, but one as a harmless little hand reaching out to the people to try and not seem like a threat anymore. He was hopeful, you could hear it in his voice, it sounds a little broken, but he's trying. He's very much hopeful in the success of this big thing. The Mysterium.

Betsy, however, was very eager to mention the "free trial ends soon :))", Beck's response did sound a bit sinister in tone, though, I'll admit. "I'm sure he will."

Although... you could probably take that as him getting into character. He wants to make a good first impression, show everything off, he's very proud of it, that much is very clear. I mean, if he's getting into character, it's probably a little bit difficult to cut out the whole 'Mysterio' part of his personality if he had been doing it for long enough. He's just no longer doing it for evil reasons. Some people just kinda.. have that aspect to their voices, whether intentional or not.

Heck. His "Don't worry, I will be watching and listening. If at any time you begin to feel uncomfortable, just let us know." def sounds like a good security call. If anything went wrong he would know and be able to shut everything down as quickly as he could from the control system.

He sounds sad and and panicked, although doing his best to try and stay calm. He is working as fast as he can to try and stop whatever hack and interference was happening with his Mysterium while Miles was inside. heck, when he says "--get him out!" and "Yes, yes! We're having a bit of a malfunction.." you can def hear the panic and concern in his voice. This is not something he planned nor wanted to have happen.

"Oh dear.. I hope you're not hurt?" He. Is. Worried.

This man overall just sounds really.. sad. A bit depressed. None of this at all has been going as he had hoped nor planned. He wanted this to be a good and happy event, the big opening debut of the Mysterium and the other locations of the Mysterium around the city, too. Something everyone could come to and enjoy without fear nor harm.

"It's.. not that easy.. but we are trying!" the tone in his voice is regretful. He feels BAD about what's happening, that there isn't a quick way to simply shut it down.. at least not safely, as far as we are aware. "We're almost done, Are you still.. uhh.. Holding your own?" "Uhh.. Sit tight!.. Just.. A few more moments!" the Concern and Fear in his voice! He is hoping for the best with whatever Miles is going through inside the Mysterium where he cannot see. He is nervous, very much afraid of something extremely bad happening.

This man needs a break. he needs a stress free vacation.

He is forced to close the Mysterium for maintenance.

Miles escapes, you can see Beck's face, his reaction of relief of Miles's safety, but also the grief of the.. You can see Cole, the assistant's face with her own surprise at what happened, but.. you don't see Betsy's? That's.. a bit suspicious.

So far, the few instances with Betsy seem the most suspicious. Sure, you could make the claim that Beck is a bad actor and probably putting on the act and show that everything went wrong and that he is disappointed, but could very well be excited that everything was going according to plan.. but wouldn't you think that.. They would show him looking a little.. happy at some point about it? Or a few hints during his talk with Miles as everything was going down, where you could hear a snippet of him being gleeful?

Something seems off, and it's not Quentin Beck.

Later..

Miles: "How would I get hurt if it's just an illusion?"

Beck: "That, my friend, is what we're trying to find out." He definitely already knows how his illusions could be used to cause harm. And not just the psychological, but the physical kind, too. He is definitely on the verge of possibly breaking, what with his eerily calm stressed tone.

The sudden appearance of Mysterio inside this 2nd adventure into the Mysterium definitely seems off. It seems.. strange.

As well as "Beck"'s breaking point near the end with the final boss battle against him. It seems like a cruel mockery of his grief and desire to be respected.. it's almost like this Mysterio is like a replay of a past version of himself who didn't care if he were fear or not, he just wanted to stop being disrespected. It doesn't match at all with how he is shown to be before then every time we, the player, have encountered him. It just.. doesn't add up. Sure, I could be wrong, but.. well.. As we all know, that isn't true.

"This was not in the script!" Could be referring to a movie/scene script, but.. seeing as he was outside with the other two looking at a computer and trying to reverse the hacking.. It could be a "coding script" he is referring to. A code in the script that wasn't supposed to be there. (I am aware and can see it says that "Mysterio" says that line and not Beck, but shhh let me have this)

IN THE DEV LOG 1, BECK IS VERY ADAMANT ABOUT NOT WANTING TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH "MYSTERIO" IN ANY WAY ANY MORE. He doesn't like when Cole mentions that "people will still call you Mysterio" either. And he also doesn't seem keen WHY they want to record, what reason is there to record anything? Betsy mentions becoming famous.. Beck isn't very interested. That's definitely something to note.

You can already gather a whole lot from JUST that one. When beck pipes up after you listen, he seems disappointed and a bit passive aggressive toward the dev log. He seems to really not like it. Betsy, as he mentions himself, was more excited and enthusiastic about this project.. She, on the dev log, sounded more excited at the end prospect of becoming famous, gaining fame and by extension, fortune, most likely.

Beck just.. wanted to use what he has and knows to make a positive impression and impact, not for fame or anything, but as a means to change his life around. He is tired and you can very much hear that.

Dev Log 2: Definitely sounds like Betsy is just collecting data to create that false image of Mysterio. using the information she managed to corner and intimidate out of Quentin who really didn't want to and didn't see how it would be necessary for the idea that wasn't even really his in the first place outside of "putting together a prototype illusion that will blow your mind!" which he did seem excited about.

post 3rd victim rescue: Betsy does NOT sound at ALL concerned for what has been happening. She sounds way more concerned and interested in the prospect of getting a Spider-Man endorsement for the Mysteriums once they're back up and running again. She doesn't care that people are getting trapped inside, only about how famous and potentially rich she'll be after all of this if it goes according to her plan.... her plan of using and abusing Quentin for her own goals. Cole being her partner in this act.

Miles during the 4th rescue gets interrupted by a message above the initiation terminal "Listen to your doubt." Someone is trying to reach through and help Miles. Someone from the development trio. It DEFINITELY can't be Betsy nor Cole considering the 3rd Dev Log where they both laugh about Quentin Beck, talking about him while he wasn't even present. Cole calling him 'creepy and weird' and despite saying 'That's not very nice', Betsy was cracking up laughing about what Cole said. Cole also didn't seem interested in this whole idea and Betsy still seemed more interested in using Beck's "genius" to becoming and I quote "very very rich."

Dev Log 6 def shows Beck not being happy about being pushed to the side and having his feelings on this whole thing ignored. His image is being used against him and his wishes and desires. He doesn't want this and still isn't happy at all about the usage of "Mysterio" and the "Mysterium" name.

The Mysterium's also project audio.. As Miles progresses and to each new one he gets to, the audio that is projected has becoming increasingly more unwelcoming and more concerning and aggressive. At first they definitely sounded like a projection of a friendly welcoming playful character "Welcome! Step right in for some fun!" and now we have audio like "You have EVERYTHING to fear!".

(as I keep listening through this video, it's clear my suspicions and theories here are true. Miles is confirming it. "I wonder if this is how Beck acted back in the day" and calling the Mysterio he is facing inside the Mysteriums "Fake Mysterio", Miles doesn't believe this to be the real Mysterio. And as we know in the end, he, too, is proven right in that.)

Dev Log 8: It seems to me like Beck is giving Betsy and Cole the "Mysterio" they so badly want to use. They want "Mysterio"? Very well. He can play that part, he play along with their little game. He def seems suspicious of their actions. He even asks what it is that Betsy is doing in all of this? He definitely seems unaware of what Betsy is planning, like he's been left out of it. Cole getting injured by an illusion, Betsy finding out that Beck added strange code to scan people's credit cards

I want to think that maybe he heard the other logs.. but I don't know. I mean.. How else would he think to scan people's credit cards? "to customize the illusions" hm, sounds more like he is trying to imply a stealing of money.. which would hint at Betsy's previous comments in a few logs where she speaks with Cole exclusively and Betsy herself mentions using Beck would make them "very very rich". He absolutely has to have found those and known he was being left out.

Betsy's call after the 9th rescue was strange, stating that he lied to them and didn't go to counseling like he said and they found out. Besty claiming he said threatening things to her and Cole before leaving. They were definitely scared of his behavior change in Dev Log 9, they didn't have any suspicions that he probably found out about the logs and what they had been saying.. but I would stand to believe that he did and that's why he changed. It was supposed to be for him, this whole endeavor. Yet.. he was left out. all that he was, was just a "mascot" to their plans.

I have high reason to believe that Betsy and Cole very much took out Beck after something happened. The final investigation at Coney Island, "Quentin Beck" states that Betsy and Cole are "no longer with us".. Faking their own death to Spider-Man through Beck? Hm.. Sure there's been a few instances in the comics, but for the most part, Mysterio overall is not a murderer. He's never killed. Who is to say Betsy and Cole didn't know that? After all, it's not unheard of for people to make the assumption that if you're a villain, surely you must be a killer or into some really horrible and heinous things, yeah? Well.. That's not true.

DEV LOG 10: I WAS RIGHT. I WAS SO RIGHT. OH MY GOSH. MY THEORY ^^ WAS TRUE. GOSH I WANNA BEAT BETSY AND COLE TO A PULP. BECK DIDN'T DESERVE THIS. THIS MAN JUST WANTED TO BE GOOD. HE JUST WANTED TO DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR PEOPLE AND YET HE WAS JUST BEING USED AND ABUSED BY THESE WOMEN.

[marzipanandminutiae]

its really too bad that you didnt respond to the well written response nbraraeaves made to your incredibly cruel and judgmental tags on that post. they brought up a lot of good points and its disappointing how youre so unwilling to hear any perspective other than your own.

Genuinely I had no idea what this was about until I scrolled halfway down their blog. Maybe next timetry specifying the theme of said post at least, so I have some idea about what I've been "incredibly cruel and judgmental" in regards to? We're not mutuals, and this was such a quickly dashed-off reblog that I didn't think to keep track of it after moving on to the next post.

I found what you were talking about, I think. I tagged a post about wanting community tags to block "x reader" fics- that is, second-person fics where the reader is a given character's OC love interest -thus:

Which, I admit, was a bit snarky of me. Although I will clarify that I meant it as an expression of genuine surprise: most fandoms have stories ranging from breathtaking to unreadable, quality-wise, in every sub-category of fic, so it surprised me that I'd never come across any Well-Written But Not My Thing stories of the Xreader variety. Logically I still figure there must be some out there, somewhere; it just seems strange that I've never found them.

the commentary, unlike this ask, was very polite and considered, and made some points I hadn't thought of before. (hence why I am actually responding to it, instead of simply deleting the ask)

They mentioned a lot of things I'll admit I hadn't considered- I assumed it was mostly just people wanting to bang a specific character. Which would be fine, to be clear! I don't go into Xreader circles and yuck anyone's yum- I said this on my private blog, where I thought nobody into that sort of thing would see it.

Which leads to another point: I did not think anyone who was into Xreader would be following me.

Listen, on the balance, the Xreader fanfic in my fandom tends to be. Not kind to the female main characters, Lucille especially. And again, that's fine; I'll just avoid those fics. But it lead me to assume, clearly incorrectly, that most CPeak Xreader writers hated my Best-Beloved Blorbo, and therefore were unlikely to stick around once I made my love for her clear.

(Why I didn't think about other types of XReader writers...I can't say. Fandom laser-focus, I suppose.)

Now, clearly I was wrong- that commenter is a CPeak Xreader writer and at least tolerates my immense desire to blanket-burrito Lucille like a hissing kitten enough to actually read my fanfic. It's for them that I'm answering this, not you; however that post came to my attention, it's still worth sharing, and they shouldn't be punished for what some anon with a bug up their ass does.

@nbraraeaves: I appreciate you sitting down to tell me why your preferred form of writing is meaningful and enjoyable to you. Thank you for your comment. While XReader will probably never be my thing- honestly, more because I want the characters to be with each other and not me than out of any perceived Inherent Failing of the medium, above tags notwithstanding -I can understand your perspective on it much better now. I hope it continues to bring you joy for a long time to come

@Anon: you may now retreat to your hidey-hole, proud and secure in the knowledge that [checks notes] you got a random person to stop being a little bit disdainful towards your favorite fanfic genre on the Internet. your gold star will be arriving in 3-5 business days

[juicyelectricheart]

Okay, storytime...

Occasionally I like to troll r/drawforme and fulfill requests. Maybe I was in the wrong, but I doubt it. I found a simple request to draw an axolotl as dead pool, (they both regrow their own limbs.) Now the poster openly admitted it was for an academic project hoping to generate capitol to support a habitat. They thought it'd be fun to sneak this drawing within a number of other illustrations made by other participants of the project.

A mod of r/drawforme saw this post, and decided, "Fuck this post in particular." So they deleted it. I could say, I get it. They're asking for a product that will be used in a fund raising. Money is already changing hands, why shouldn't an artist get a taste? This attitude is there to protect the artist.

But let's be real here. They're probably raising funds for a classroom pet. Best case scenario, an actual natural axolotl sanctuary.

Regardless, I had spent part of my free time working this up for the Poster, before their post was taken down, and I'm a bit disappointed my work won't reach them simply because I failed to memorize their handle.

I know I should be over it, but I was willing to give up my time to create a silly little drawing, especially as a charitable donation. If you have a different perspective, feel free to explain in the comments, as I am open to be challenged. I know I've been a shit heel before.

[im-a-gaymess]

How do I tell him?

Young!Tom Riddle x Male Reader.

7th Year.

Angsty Fluff? Contains suggestive/smut scenes.

Slight mention of violence (Just Tom wanting to punch the stupid out of people).

Summary: You and Tom are in love with each other, always were, though you only realize it after ending a pretty toxic relationship.

Word Count: 1786

A/N: I thought of this while listening to Strawberries & Cigarettes thought I'd share

[1:42 AM]

"Look, I'm not saying that I want their attention 24/7, it's just that, well, they don't ever try to make time for me. Even when I need them, they're never here. But I'm expected to be there for them at all times. I'm just so tired of it. I don't know what to do anymore." You sighed, lowering your head as your eyes wander around the ground.

You've lost sense of time, place even. Only once you stopped to take a breath did you note how late it became. As you raised your head you saw how dark it really was there. The clouds over the stars making their light nearly non existent, and the moon half hidden behind some trees.

And as your eyes travel all over the quiet, dark yet beautiful sky, Tom's attention is strictly fixed on you.

If only you knew how much that man felt at the moment. Really, he was almost overwhelmed with the amount of different emotions.

For one, how badly he wanted to punch your partner for how deeply they hurt you. He knew, from your previous vents, that there was so much more than them just having no time that bothered you. He wanted to make them cry out apologies with regret guilt for how they made you feel.

But also, he couldn't help but feel the need to hold you, keep you close to him, tell you how everything's going to be alright. How all he wants to do is protect you from all of the world's evil, to keep you from anything that could cause you harm.

Without you even noticing, Tom gently put his hand over yours, rubbing circles with his thumb on your hand. How can someone be so,, so endearing,, so loveable and be treated this way? How could someone ever look at him and want to use him? he thought, not brave enough to bring himself to tell you what he truly thinks of you.

"You know you deserve better, right, my love?" he asked, and you, all too familiar with the pet name reply with a little smile. "Would you be surprised if I said yes?" you chuckled, turning to face him, the sight of the boy in front of you making your smile grow a little bigger, causing the other to look at you with loving eyes.

"I still love them, though, I don't even know why, but I do. I still hope they're going to change, even when I know they won't" you continued, a short, awkward laugh leaving your lips.

"Believe me, sweetheart, I know exactly how that feels." he smiled at you, gently stroking your face with his free hand as the two of you continued to talk about everything, and anything, enjoying the company you gave each other.

[Following day, 4:27 PM]

Who knew that drawing in the library's restricted section would be so relaxing? Sketching animals, book covers, objects and even some random fellow housemates. It wasn't so bad, right?

But let's be honest, you were only using it as a means of distraction, trying to get yourself to forget about the fact that you're going to break up with your s/o. You don't even know how Tom managed to convince you.

Of course, it's for the best, you know that. Doesn't change the fact that you feel so damn guilty about it. I mean, why do you even? It's not like they value you, it's not like they won't have other people lined up to take their bullshit right the moment you decide to leave.

Okay, that's it. You're doing it, you're definitely doing it. You mumbled to yourself. After, of course, another art session in your little distraction place.

[5:54 PM]

What's the worst that can happen if I confess? I mean, it's not like the world would end, not like the world would explode and I'd be buried underneath layers of rock and lava.

You had him feeling something he's never even imagined he'd feel; he was nervous. His forehead full of sweat, causing his hair to stick on to him. What are you putting him through?

Friendship...That's all I am to him. I'm just a friend to [Y/N]. He only sees me as a friend. Nothing more than that. Maybe I shouldn't. I probably shouldn't.

[6:11 PM]

To his surprise, Tom heard a knock on his door. He most definitely wasn't in the mood to see, yet even talk to anyone.

"Tommy? My love, are you in there?" You questioned quite loudly, making sure to be heard from across the wall.

That petname, you have no idea what it made him want to do. Did he want to have you underneath him, touch every little bit of your body? Did he want to show you that you're his? Hear you whine and beg for him to kiss you; and so, so much more than you could imagine.

It's not the time to get lost in such sinister thoughts, Tom, he mumbled to himself, finally walking over the room to let you in.

"Hello, darli―" before he could finish, you rushed into his arms. Wrapping your hands around your friend's waist as your head rested under his own. "I missed you all day, dummie" you spoke quietly, finally happy to spend time with him.

He was quite surprised to say the least, you weren't the type to enjoy going for any type of physical affection of any type, unless it was under certain circumstances. Especially the hug being so long.

He wasn't complaining, he adored it, but he couldn't help but worry. Was something wrong? Were you hurt?

"Love, as much as I enjoy moments like this, is there anything you need to tell me? Should I kick anyone's arse?" he raised his brow, looking down at you.

You shook your head, never letting go of the taller man, a smile appearing on your face. How cute he is when he's worried, you thought.

That's pretty much how the rest of the day night went. The two of you in each other's embrace, spending it in utter silence, just glad to be in your own little world together.

You told him, before going back to your dorm, about how you finally broke up with that douchebag, and was your man proud.

The couple next days, weeks even, went by quickly. You and Tom would hang by the library after classes to complete and give help with what the other might have been stuck on.

Tom walks towards you, so dangerously close, you can practically feel his lips on yours. A hand's glued on the wall next to you, right above your head. Your body pressed against a door, his knee right in between your legs, brushing against your crotch. His other hand pulling you closer by your waist, soon planting kisses all over your jaw and neck. You can't help but melt into his touch, his lips- you just want more, more of him.

You gasp, practically jumping up your bed. It was only a dream, wasn't it you thought, sighed in slight disappointment. You wouldn't like to admit it to yourself, but you've been thinking about Tom in a certain way lately.

That only made things worse for you. Because according to you, he would never see you that way. Because the way you saw it, Tom only ever thought of you as a friend.

And so thought he. He was just as disappointed every time he'd dream of the two of you being intimate, romantically, sexually, it didn't matter. He was just as devastated when he woke up. Always went back to sleep hoping those wonderful dreams would go on.

Both of you had a few dreams like those. Some were a whole lot sweeter. Dates together, just the two of you softly making out with the sound of classical music in the background. All of this causing the two of you a bittersweet feeling, thinking that all of this was just hopeless dreams, impossible to come true.

════════════════════

Starry night, you and him, the lake, the full moon shining bright. There's nothing that could ruin this delightful night. It feels like a dream, so much that you even question the reality of what's going on.

"Is this...real?" you ask Tom, not taking your eyes off the sky you so dearly loved. He raised a brow at you, looking at you in a clearly confused expression.

"If it wasn't, we'd be doing more than just stargazing, love" he chuckled, really hoping you'd take it as a joke.

"What would we be doing then, darling?" you question once again, mocking the way he calls you petnames while at it, a visibly evil smile painted on your face.

Tom takes his bottom lip in between his teeth, turning to face his pretty boy. "Do you really want to know, [Y/N]?"

The usage of your name kind of, just a little bit, frightened you. Not in a necessarily bad way, more like in a 'I have no idea what to expect next' way.

"What would you do if I kissed you?" he smirked at you, feeling oddly confident, though your silence and shocked face slowly faded. He was about to mutter apologies 'till you let out a mumble. "I'd like that" you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

"What was that, my prince? Would you kindly repeat that for me?" he told you with a straight face, making you wonder if he truly didn't hear you. If only you knew the amount of pride he felt at that moment, barely four words and his mind wandering to so, so many things he knew the both of you would like.

The shade of your cheeks changed a bit, was it from embarrassment? Or from the idea that he may actually like you back. Either way, you did repeat what you had told him, blushing even harder as there was an ever-growing smile on your face.

Soon enough, Tom sat up, leaned against a tree nearby. Motioning on his lap, he asked you to sit there, and happily you did.

You've never seen him smile like that. He looked at you like you're the only person in the world. His hands firmly on your cheeks, slowly pulling you in.

Your arms instinctively went around his neck, tilting your head to the side in order to deepen the kiss.

Once you pulled away to take a breath, his hands rested on your lower waist, his eyes staring at you lovingly as they always did.

"You know I'm no good with words." you looked at him exactly the way he was looking at you; you were truly each other's everything. "I know, my prince" his hand wandered around his loverboy's hair, soon pulling him in yet another kiss.

He knew he loved you, and now he was sure you loved him too. Only thing is, he wasn't sure how to ask you to take over the world with him, but for now, he was happy with what you had, and so were you.

[lovebykai]

Feel Good Drag

》 Pretty Girl - Part 3

Word Count: 4.2K

Warning(s): Random Necessary OCs. Smut. Non-Consensual Recording. Dub-Con? Toxic Behavior. Mentions of Violence. Reader Is A Bitch. Emotional Sadomasochism. Masturbation.

Pairing: Ran x Fem!Reader x Rindou

Authors Note: FINALLY. God, I've had some of these scenes in my head since I wrote the first part and I just went, "No, these deserve a whole fic, no drabbles." Hope you guys appreciate it.

You moved on.

After Toman disbanded and the Haitani brothers ended up doing more time, you realized if you didn't get out right then you were never going to. Did you really want to be a delinquent all your life? Spend years waiting on those two to bounce back to you? No, no you didn't.

So you got some therapy, a decent job, and got the fuck out of Roppongi.

"So you're going out with us tonight, right?" You looked to the ceiling for patience as your coworker threw her arms around your shoulders and peered at you with a grin.

She was fun. Mischievous and adventurous and the polar opposite of you; that huge difference in personality was what made the two of you work. Lately she was super hung up on the idea of coaxing you into a threesome with her boyfriend and it had become something of a joke. It'd probably be a fun experience if the news of them getting out a month ago hadn't rendered you unable to think about anything else.

Did they know you'd run? Were they looking for you? Did they miss you?

"Leave Y/N alone, Yui." Her boyfriend tugged her to him, laughing. He was a genuinely nice guy, and that was half the problem. You had yet to figure out what his appeal was. Fuck, you couldn't even remember his name.

"But babe!" Yui whined, pouting at you when he just rolled his eyes affectionately, and you offered her a grin.

"It's that new club in Roppongi! C'mon, it'll be so much fun. Please? Sai is gonna buy our drinks." She wiggled her eyebrows and her boyfriend gave her an incredulous look.

"I am?" You couldn't help but laugh as you finished unpacking the new merchandise, eyeing some of the sleazy dresses. It might be fun.

"Fine, you can bring what's-his-face too." The one sided negotiation was finally starting to amuse you.

"You mean my boyfriend?" Yui looked so scandalized you snorted in laughter, shaking your head and thumbing a particularly skimpy dress.

"God, you made it official? But you guys have, like, no chemistry."

"He's a good guy." It was natural to defend him.

He was a text book definition good guy, in fact. So far removed from your type that he may as well be on a different planet. But he was going to be a lawyer and took you to nice restaurants. His family was sweet. White picket fence with two kids and a dog was what he expected, and you were prepared to deliver on it.

Because that was normal.

"He's boring, and he'll make you miserable. Mark my words, Y/N, he's not the one." When you didn't engage the line of conversation, she went back to trying to weasel an agreement from you.

What if you run into them? The thought shouldn't have sent your heart racing, and you clicked your tongue in annoyance. How would you know if your coping skills were working if you didn't test them? That was reasonable, right? Right?

And... you should say goodbye, right? Sure, they'd spent more time away from you than with you, but the bond you three had was intense. It'd be disrespectful to just ghost them. Yep. That made sense.

"As long as you're letting me mooch off you all night, cause I'm broke as fuck 'til next Friday." You finally sighed, smirking when she squealed and agreed, bouncing on her heels.

* * *

Your boyfriend had tests to study for, which was fine because you really didn't want him there anyway, and neither did Yui. Not that you'd ever admit it; you feigned just enough disappointment to be socially acceptable while she chattered about how cute the little pink dress you'd bought was.

The back was open and it barely covered your thighs, which left you looking a bit slutty with your heels, but that was kinda the point. A quick 'wish you were here' selfie for your busy boyfriend and viola! you were free of your obligation to cater to his disappointment.

Thus, Yui started plying you with alcohol.

You danced and laughed and took videos. Fuck, you even let her grind on you for her man's viewing pleasure before he hauled her off to the bathroom after a confirmation that, no, you were not interested in participating.

It was hard pretending you gave a fuck about any of it. The monotony was mind-numbing. Work, eat, sleep, and occasionally go out with friends. You were missing the adrenaline rush of a fight, or the comradery you'd had with Toman, even.

You'd finished your drink, enjoying being just this side of drunk and scrolling through facebook to occupy your thoughts for a bit. You doubted what's-his-fuck -- someday you'd remember his name, you vowed, because that's what normal friends did -- would keep Yui gone for long, but it was never fun being left alone in a dimly lit nightclub booth.

"This seat taken?" You hummed noncommittally, chin propped up in your palm.

Kou: Come over tonight? I miss you. :(

The text actually made you cringe. Maybe he wasn't the one you should be settling for. Surely there were some normal guys that weren't quite... this bland. There wasn't even anything wrong with him. On paper he was perfect marriage material. Why were you like this?

Y/N: Sure! I'll text when we leave. :)

With that painful exchange done, you looked up to see if the guy really had decided to sit with you and promptly dropped your phone. It clattered loudly and you winced, hoping you hadn't just fucked the screen up.

"Ran!?" He was mimicking your previous pose with an amused expression, batting long lashes at you teasingly.

"Y/N." Sliding you a drink, he smiled and you returned the gesture broadly.

"Well, that's embarrassing. Hi, how've you been?" You laughed sheepishly, pressing a hand to your heated cheek.

"I've been just lovely, sweetheart, how about you? Anything interesting happen while we were away?" Practically vibrating in your seat, you took a sip of his offering before licking your lips. Man, you were too drunk to properly combat the urge to preen under his gaze as it dipped to your exposed cleavage.

"Mm, got a job, moved into a shitty apartment, made some friends." You shrugged after ticking off the main points, popping the straw back into your mouth so you didn't start nibbling your fingers. Without really thinking about it, you folded your arms beneath your chest and leaned against the table. The way his gaze flickered back down to look caught your attention though.

"... Got a boyfriend." That one was a dig; you were curious to see if he reacted at all to the news. The only indication he'd heard was the slight dimming of his smile, but even that was so miniscule if you hadn't been staring so intently you'd have missed it.

"Oh?"

That was it. Oh.

"Mhmm." Your smile was threatening to become a smirk. The silence wasn't uncomfortable; you took a moment just to bask in his presence.

Your therapist had told you that you weren't in love with them. That you had an unhealthy codependency; you had somehow managed to fall into hero worshiping them for standing up for you as children.

You begged to differ.

"Do I know him?" Violet eyes were shining eerily; you knew you were probably swooning, but he was so fixated on the idea of you being in a relationship that he wouldn't notice.

"Nope. He's in school to be a lawyer, though, so you might in a couple years." That dig had been an accident. The filter between your brain and mouth had apparently shut off at some point. Rans eyebrows shot up, but his grin only widened.

"You seem like you've got something to say." He commented laughingly and it doused your amusement.

"Just that I'm done with the gangster shit. I don't want to be involved in it. I like my life the way it is now."

"That sounds a lot like you're breaking up with me, little lamb." It was said teasingly -- because it wasn't as if you could really even be called together in any capacity anymore -- but his smile was gone. The narrowing of his eyes forced yours down to the drink you were sipping at.

Your therapist would have been proud of you for confronting this problem. Maybe not the way you'd went about it, but the closure would do you good. You were an addict, and the Haitani brothers had been your drug of choice. Being around them was a shitty idea, and you needed to make it clear that you didn't want them around.

It was a lie, but you'd worked too fucking hard to get yourself back on track in life to let them fuck this up for you.

Boundaries. You were setting boundaries.

"I guess I am." The words instantly killed your good mood. It was like someone had hit you in the gut; Rans eyes widened in surprise and the urge to chew at your fingertips couldn't be ignored anymore.

You wanted to take it back.

Something in you was twisting and clawing and burning as you moved to stand on shaking legs. No. No. Nononono-- before you could slip away, his hand darted out and you were hauled back. The edge of the table caught your hip; the hiss of pain drowned out by the thump of the bass as Ran dragged you sideways into his lap.

"No." His arms may as well have been steel beams for all your squirming to escape did.

"No? You can't just say no, Ran! That's not how this works."

"Like Hell it isn't. You're ours." It was growled out as his nails dug into your hips; the shudder that rattled your form made him let out a soft huff of satisfaction.

"I can't do this with you right now," You wished your voice wasn't wavering, it would have helped make your case. "I don't want to, and I don't have to. Let go!" Kicking your legs petulantly didn't make his grip loosen at all but you were vaguely aware you probably flashed some fortunate souls.

"Fuck that!" Ran gripped your jaw hard enough you suspected it would bruise and forced you to look up at him. "You think you're going to find someone better and run off? Think you're too good for me and Rin anymore?"

"Yeah, thats exactly what I'm doing, you asshole. They'll be better for me and I won't end up getting the shit kicked out of me on the daily, or waiting around for you two to get done doing time!"

"They'll be better for you, maybe, but not like us. Nobody will ever love you like we do, Y/N."

The sound of Rindous calm voice cut through the noise of the club and you felt the stupid starry-eyed look coming over your face.

Love?

They loved--

"What? That all you needed to hear? Way to be basic, babygirl." Ran clicked his tongue, licking his lips when you tried to jerk your face out of his grip. It was half-hearted. If you'd really wanted to fight back it wasn't as though you didn't remember how to throw a punch.

Rindous fingers danced along your exposed spine and the tension began leaking out of your body completely; Rans punishing grip loosened. You couldn't help it-- you'd missed them.

You always missed them. That was the problem in the first fucking place.

"There's my good girl." His thumb traced your lower lip pensively for a breath before you bit it softly. It was an impulse you couldn't resist with him so close, and the way his eyes darkened in response had you squirming on his lap.

"Y/N?" Yuis gasp gave you the push you needed to jerk away from him.

Rindou sidestepped when you scrambled from the booth with a soft curse, mortification sparking in your chest. Turning a sneer their way, you grabbed your friends arm to start pushing her away from them.

Great. Worlds colliding. Fun.

"I'm not your anything." Except you were and the fact all your hard work to build yourself up was being chipped away by their mere presence was pissing you off.

Ran just snickered, long arms draping across the back of the booth and legs sprawling out beneath the too-small table. When your eyes -- the fucking traitors -- rolled down his body appreciatively, stalling out at the bulge in his jeans for a beat too long to be appropriate, you wished that the room was darker.

"This was obviously a bad time," Rindou commented as your thighs pressed together at the sudden bolt of arousal. "Here, just take our number in case you need something and we can talk another time, alright, bunny?" The nickname earned him a whimper that you couldn't quite swallow; the smirk he gave you as he grabbed your phone off the table made you dizzy. Bastards.

When he proceeded to guess your password you barked out an incredulous laugh, but you didn't try to stop him from putting in their contacts. You should have. That'd be the smart thing to do.

But if these men didn't make you fucking stupid.

"See you soon."

* * *

You were angry-- stupidly, irrationally angry when you showed up at your boyfriends apartment. Honestly, you couldn't even remember the walk there -- besides the fact Yui had thought the whole evening was hilarious as she caught a cab with Sai -- but when you let yourself inside and kicked your heels off Kou was sitting on his couch and you just snapped.

You were upset and horny and he was there-- it wasn't fucked up to have sex with him cause someone else pushed your buttons, right? After another moment you realized you didn't even care as long as you could scratch the itch. Mr. Normal could manage that much for you, surely.

"Hey!" He looked over and did a double take, eyes widening in a way that might have made you laugh if you weren't counting backwards from ten over and over. "O-Oh, you look--"

A devious idea popped into your head; you decided to quit thinking so hard as you pulled up the camera on your phone. You propped it up on the coffee table and promptly straddled him, not even checking to make sure the angle was right.

Ten.

Your lips met his harshly, grinding down against him. It took seconds for him to harden beneath you as you tugged the dress off over your head.

Nine.

"Oh." He whimpered when you tugged on his lower lip with your teeth, reaching down to hurriedly undo his pants. He whimpered. Gag.

Eight.

None of it was right. His hair was too short; you petted the strands anyway, catching what you could and tugging softly. The asshole didn't even have the sense to line himself up or anything. You realized rapidly you wouldn't be able to cum like this, but you'd be damned if you didn't try just because his last name wasn't Haitani.

Seven.

You didn't mean to roll your eyes when he started kissing at your shoulder, but seriously. There wasn't even any tongue. Did you have to do everything? Luckily you didn't need much prep thanks to your time in the club -- not that you'd ever admit it -- but he could at least do better than that.

Six.

The red haze wasn't even getting better. If anything, the fact you weren't currently on one of their laps was making you angrier. You dropped your hand back down, stroking him a few times before tugging your panties to one side, ready to be done with this whole ordeal but to nice to just leave the man hanging.

Five.

"Y/N--" His voice was wrong, so you forced his head back and pressed your lips together again. At least he caught up enough to grip your hips as you sank down onto him, even if he didn't try to control the way you rocked your hips. It did feel good, at least, stretching you well enough you let out a soft sigh of relief.

Four.

Honestly, this was probably a shock to his system, seeing as the only position you two had ever fucked in was missionary, but wasn't most of this instinct? Your hand curled around the back of his neck, digging your nails in just to make him hiss. Maybe you could get off if he could just--

Three.

"Ouch! Hold on, sweetie, slow down--" He managed to flex his fingers, but let you keep bouncing on his dick despite his protests. God, you hated this guy. No, fuck, you didn't hate him. You didn't. Realizing he wasn't going to last very long, you dipped your fingers down and strummed at your clit desperately.

Two.

He came with a whine that grated on you, but you had enough of a conscience to pet him through it like you gave a damn about how he was feeling. You couldn't even borrow his cock and pretend he was someone else to get off, but sure, let's make sure he gets the warm fuzzies. Your high was gone, so you bit back a growl of frustration and tugged your fingers from your panties.

One.

Climbing off his lap and cutting the video, you could have cried. It was three goddamn minutes.

"What was that about?" Your boyfriend asked, breathless, as he tucked himself back into his pants; hitting send, you smirked to yourself before turning to him.

"Just missed you tonight. I'm gonna go clean up." It was a few minutes before he responded, and luckily you were still in the bathroom.

Ran: My poor little lamb. I'd love to help you out, but I'm kinda busy.

The video you got in return nearly made you crack a tooth. The strands of blond wrapped around his fingers, bobbing against his crotch under the flashing lights of the club made your hands shake.

Suddenly, he made a fist and you whimpered when he forced her down roughly. The sound of her gagging nearly made you black out with rage and envy.

The camera flipped around and suddenly you were looking at Rans smug, shit-eating grin before it cut off.

Y/N: Fuck you.

You played it again, eyes watering in rage and an uncomfortable neediness that you didn't want to be feeling before slipping your fingers back into your underwear. The tears slipped free as you braced against the wall, playing the damn thing over and over and over until--

A gasp of relief left you when your knees shook, the orgasm somehow managing to line up perfectly with his smug fucking smile.

Mine.

Ran: Awh, are you mad? That's too bad.

Ran: Make sure you tell your little boyfriend I said he's welcome.

* * *

"I-I'm sorry, what?" You were more shocked than hurt as you stood at the foot of the hospital bed. It had been almost a week since you'd bumped into the Haitanis. Things between you and Kou had been going well. Normal. Everything had seemed normal.

"We should break up." He wouldn't even look at you. Probably thinking you were going to burst into tears or something, but you were slowly putting shit together in your head.

"Why?" You willed him to be honest, trying to drill a hole in the side of his head with your eyes. He'd said it was a mugging gone wrong when the cops had shown up, and you'd -- naively, perhaps -- believed him because he was kind of soft.

"Everything's just... too much. I'm too stressed out between school and work and now this a-and-- honestly, Y/N, I don't think we're a great fit."

Liar.

"I understand." Because you did. You even got the parts he wasnt saying, like: "Hey some asshole with a baton beat me stupid because you didn't dump me, isn't that nuts?"

You didn't bother with anything else, letting him think you were just too upset to say goodbye as you hurried out of the hospital. Whipping your phone out, you dialed Ran before your indignation died out.

"Yes, darling?"

"Have you lost your fucking mind? What if he tells the cops you complete fucking idi--"

"Whoa, there, baby, slow down. What are you chewing me out about?" He interrupted, sounding more serious as you tried to control your volume.

"My ex-boyfriend is in the hospital." You bit out and there was a long silence. Just as you went to make sure the call hadn't dropped, there was a sudden bout of laughter.

"And the first thing you did was start lecturing me on getting caught? I knew you still cared." He cooed and you winced. Yeah, okay, that was probably shitty of you.

"No worries, little lamb, it wasn't me."

"I call bullshit."

"Cross my heart. You're barking up the wrong tree. Personally I'm a little sad I won't get anymore videos of you--"

"Goodbye, Ran." With that you hung up with burning cheeks, glaring at the phone as though it was somehow to blame. Much more hesitantly, you eyed Rindous contact.

Surely he wouldn't have. He'd been so calm at the club, and hadn't bothered you a single time since. But Kous arm had been broken, and you'd missed the explanation on that so-- so maybe--

You hit dial before you could change your mind.

"Did you do it?" You immediately spit out in lieu of a greeting when he picked up, too scared you would lose your nerve if he spoke first.

"Yes." Leave it to Rindou not to beat around the bush.

"You're gonna get caught." The fact tears prickled at your eyes was completely out of frustration and had nothing to do with the despair that suddenly washed over you.

They could drone on and on about being together all they wanted, but the more they did stupid shit like this the more certain you were that the three of you would never get anywhere. Even if you did decide that you wanted a relationship with them, where was it even going to go with them sitting in a fucking cell for most of it?

"Where are you?" Rindou asked simply as you swiped your eyes irritably and looked around. The fact you'd been wandering aimlessly like this was a bit embarrassing, and it took a minute to orient yourself enough to give him an answer.

"Give me five minutes. Don't move." He hung up before you could bite out something rude, and while you were tempted to disobey, your feet stayed planted right where you were. You wrapped your arms around your middle, counting backwards slowly and swiping the random, offending tear.

"Shit, are you crying? Bunny, c'mere." Rindou gently grabbed the nape of your neck and led you towards a nearby alley before wrapping you up in his arms. Despite your best efforts, you couldn't contain your sniffling; he stroked your spine gently even though you refused to hug him back.

"Look, I didn't realize you really liked the guy that much. Ran showed me the--"

"You think-- you think that's why I'm--?" A slightly hysterical sob burst out of you, followed by bitter laughter.

You grasped your sudden anger -- anger at him, and Ran, and yourself -- and shoved away from him roughly. Rindou didn't even look distressed when you gave into the urge to shove him again, letting out a strangled screech.

"I'm mad because you're an idiot! Because you and your fucking brother just breeze in and out of my life like no matter what you're just entitled to my lo--" You had the sense to halt that confession, turning your back on him to start pacing.

"And now you're gonna get into more shit and you'll be gone again and--"

"Y/N, look at me."

"Fuck no! You're stupid and this is stupid and I don't even know why I'm here--" Rindou stepped into your path, grasping your face in his hands and pressing a hard kiss to your mouth. You instinctively stepped back, inhaling sharply and he pressed forward, walking you backwards until you collided with brick.

"Not gonna leave you again." It was a distracted mutter against your lips; your hands gripped at the fabric of his shirt, pulling his mouth back to yours with a groan.

"Liar." Won't leave. Loves me. Lovesmelovesmelovesme--

"Promise."

Mine. Just as he leaned in again, a phone started ringing and you actually whined when he leaned back to answer it.

"What?" Rindou listened for a moment, eyes locked on yours as he caressed your face with his free hand.

"I'm with her now, actually. Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes, and you smiled softly to yourself. His thumb shifted around to your lips and you nipped at it, earning a smirk.

"Fine, whatever. Bye, Ran." Much like his brother had done before, Rindou pressed his thumb against your mouth and you opened for him. This time, however, you swirled your tongue around it, and he visibly shuddered as he pulled back.

"Not the first time, pretty girl." You scoffed, rolling your eyes at the grin he was wearing and rubbing furiously at your face.

Bastards.

《 Part Two 《

》 Part Four 》

Taglist: @selfishwitch, @youpieceofwasabi

[alj4890]

All Through the Night

A Choices: The Royal Romance Dark AU

@gkittylove99​ ​​ @krsnlove​ ​ @kingliam2019​ ​ @texaskitten30​ ​ @yourmajesty09​ ​ @mom2000aggie​ ​ @ofpixelsandscribbles​ ​ @twinkleallnight​ ​ @lodberg​ ​ @twinkleallnight​ ​ @amandablink​ ​ @neotericthemis​ ​  @mm2305​ ​ @sfb123​ ​ @iufilms​​​ ​ ​ @tessa-liam​ @busywoman​​

Masterlist

Catch up here with Prologue and Part 1

Part 2

Fydelia...

"Madeleine dear, have you seen the lost book of Aurelia?" Regina called out when she noticed the countess passing by. "There were some notes in there that I think can be useful for Maxwell."

"No mam." Madeleine stepped into their library.

The walls were covered with a variety of the history of the five kingdoms and the mysterious sixth. Madeleine had spent years studying every single myth in the hopes of finding hints of cures and such for the ailments of her people. Her usually sharp gaze softened at the faded leather spines. They had been her source of comfort long before Regina arrived.

When her parents were alive they rarely spared their daughter a single glance. As long as she was quiet, well behaved, and properly attired; they expected little else from her. She had been their disappointment. Her father had hoped for a son while her mother hoped to never have a child.

She did not feel grief when they died. In fact, she had rarely felt any emotion until Regina took over her care. Through her cousin's encouragement and treating her with kindness, Madeleine began to understand happiness and contentment.

She also began to long for love.

The stories she read about the great love Queen Kenna shared with Dominic had made her begin to daydream about her finding someone of her own. She rather liked the idea that the creatures of the Dark Kingdom fell in love instantly. It certainly took all the guess work out of he loves me, he loves me not.

Though Regina was a kind and nurturing soul, Madeleine wanted something more.

And she had found it one afternoon with the banished prince of the Dark Kingdom.

**************

A year ago, the capital of Cordonia...

Madeleine ran down the sidewalk as a torrential downpour began. Being lost in thought, she had wandered away from the market place without paying attention. Townhomes with small parks and cottages with flower gardens dotted the quiet neighborhood.

"Oh!" Madeleine slid down, landing not only upon her left ankle, but also in a puddle.

She closed her eyes at the painful throbbing. Tears began to intermingled with the rain falling upon her face. She tried to standup but ended right back in the puddle.

For the life of her, she couldn't think of a single spell that she could use to help herself. It was part curse and actually a blessing to others that a witch could rarely use magic to improve their own circumstances. Other than being able to take potions to improve their physical health, most spells could only be used for someone else.

If she had asked Regina to come with her for a visit to the capital, then she could have healed Madeleine easily. She probably knew a spell offhand to immediately dry her clothes. But then again, Regina was the most powerful out of their coven.

She attempted to stand once more, only for a cry of frustration mixed with agony to slip out.

She could hear footsteps rushing towards her from behind.

She turned her head and saw a man. Her lips parted at how handsome he was. His drenched clothing revealed what was a definite muscular body. His blonde hair had darkened from the rain. But his eyes...they were the most intense blue she had ever seen.

"Are you badly hurt?" He asked.

She nodded. "It's my ankle. Either a bolt of lightening struck when I fell or I definitely heard a definite pop."

Without another word, he scooped her up in his arms as if she weighed no more than a feather.

He kicked open the wrought iron gate and ran with her into his townhome.

"There's a light switch behind you." He waited for her to find it then continued on into his living room. "Here." He set her down on the couch. I'll try to find you something dry to put on and then we'll have a look at that ankle."

Her lips parted then closed as he dashed upstairs. She took advantage of her solitude to study what was clearly the home of a bachelor. Her eyes touched on the masculine décor of oversized leather furniture and no pictures on the walls. There no trinkets of any sort nor any type of color to add to the brandy colored leather and beige walls.

She turned her attention back to her ankle and winced when she tried to rotate her foot.

"That will teach you not to do that again."

Madeleine jumped at the sound of his voice tinged with amusement.

He handed her a towel then knelt beside her. Using another towel, he dried her foot and leg after removing her shoe.

"Thank you, um..." She bit down on her bottom lip when his fingers gently pressed around the swollen area.

"Leo." He looked up at her. "And who might you be?"

"Madeleine." She sucked in a painful gasp when he lifted her foot.

"Madeleine," he shook his head, "I believe it is just a bad sprain."

She slumped back in relief at that news. "I think so too."

He took off his shirt off and pulled a dry one on.

Her parted lips at the sight brought a grin to his face.

"If we're going to get you an x-ray just to make sure nothing is broken, then you'll have to stay in your dress." His eyes roamed over her petite figure. "I don't have anything that will work for you out in public."

"Yes, of course." She lowered her eyes. "Thank you for your assistance. I'm certain I would still be sitting in the puddle if you hadn't come by."

"I saw you slip down from my bedroom window." He scooped her up once more and carried her out to his garage. "Don't worry Lady Madeleine, we'll have you fixed up in no time."

Her head jerked up. "How do you know I'm a noble?"

He paused then shrugged. "With your beauty and the way you speak, it seemed likely that you were one." He set her in the passenger seat of his car. "Then again," he winked at her, "perhaps I was hoping to be your knight in shining armor."

Her pale skin flared with color from his flirting.

Leo chuckled at the sight then patted her hand.

After taking her to a nearby emergency care clinic, he then drove her back to her hotel.

He carried her and her crutches to her room despite her arguments that she could manage now that she had something to lean on.

"You shouldn't trouble yourself, Mr.--"

"Leo." He insisted. "And it is no trouble at all, I assure you." He set her down on a chair. "So, what brings you to the capital?"

"Nothing in particular." She lowered her eyes. "I had a few council meetings to attend and then I decided to stay over for a few days."

Leo nodded. "Wanted to get away?"

"Yes." Madeleine twisted the hem of her skirt. "I shouldn't feel this way. My life is filled with responsibilities that I actually enjoy handling." She lowered her eyes. "But sometimes..."

"It isn't enough." He smiled at her. "I've been there."

"You have?"

"Of course." He stretched his legs out and took a deep breath. "Though, I think the worst thing that can happen to someone is to have those very responsibilities that they thrive on taken away."

He bent down when he saw her struggle to prop her foot up on a small table. Before she could utter the words that he needn't feel like he had to keep helping her, he had slid it over closer.

"Thank you." She smiled shyly at him. "If you don't mind my prying, what responsibilities do you have?"

His easy smile dimmed. "Ah, none."

Her eyes widened. "But you seem to understand --"

"Like I said," he got up and went to stand at her window. "Nothing is worse than being denied what you are made for."

"What were you made for?" She prodded.

He glanced at her from over his shoulder with a smirk. "Me? To be king."

Her eyes widened with realization. The infamous handsome looks. The chivalry. The recognition of her nobility.

"You're the Dark King's son." She whispered in disbelief.

He turned to fully face her. "And you're The Guardian's ward, the very one she gave up being queen for."

Madeleine swallowed nervously. "I--I'm sorry you lost your kingdom." She gripped her hands together in her lap. "I heard about your father naming Liam as heir."

A brief flash of anger appeared in his blue eyes. "Yes, it seems that my embarrassment of not being a vampire extends to all areas of Cordonia."

"No!" She lifted her hand toward him as if to try and comfort him. "It isn't anything you could control." Her brow furrowed. "I'm certain you would have been an excellent king."

He returned to his chair. "Do you?"

She nodded. "I've always had a gift of, well...of sensing a person's true nature."

"Sounds impressive." Leo reached for her hand. "And what do you sense with me?"

Madeleine bit down on her bottom lip. "I can't quite find the words, but I sense great things in your future." A blush formed on her cheeks as she locked eyes with him. "And that I am somehow tied to your destiny."

He lifted her hand to his lips. "I think you're right."

***************

It had to have been fate for their paths to cross. The young man had been wandering Europe in search for a place he could belong.

"Once I saw you," Leo told her late one night, "I knew I had finally found the right place."

She had lost her heart to him. His stories of not being loved by his father matched her own, especially in being considered a great disappointment. She had not been born a boy and he had not been born a vampire.

There was little either could do about it.

Leo admitted that he had gone in search of a vampire in Sweden to try and turn him. Something though went wrong when he was given the Vampire's kiss. He did not change. He had remained in his mortal form even after completing the procedure by drinking from the Chalice.

There was no increase of strength. There was no vulnerability to the sun. There was nothing new or different about him.

Only further frustration and heartache.

Madeleine kept their encounters to herself. It wasn't that she didn't trust Regina. She simply didn't trust what she might say to Constantine.

The King continued to invite Regina to visit. He understood her reasons for refusing his marriage proposal but he refused to never see her again. Since she was in love with him too, she went each time he called for her.

Madeleine didn't approve of their relationship, yet she also kept this thought to herself. She had seen as a child the effect speaking one's mind had on others and she never wanted anyone to know her plans or opinions.

But then she began to sneak away to see Leo.

He had been the first person she had actually opened up to. His charm and confidence seemed to spill over and infect her with an openness she never knew she possessed.

Leo was interested in everything about her, especially her knowledge of spells and potions. For nearly a year, he marveled at her intelligence and encouraged her to dig further to find ways to push magic to its very limit.

Then one night, he shared a dream he had recently had.

"You and I were the King and Queen of the Dark Kingdom." His blue eyes flashed with emotion as he gazed off into the distance. "The people were overjoyed to have the true heir back within the fold."

"We were married?" She asked.

"We were." He squeezed her tight, drawing a startled gasp from her lips. "Everything was how it was meant to be for me. I had claimed the black crown for my own."

"What about your father and Liam?"

He turned toward her. Images from his dream of their ashes floating about his feet brought a slight smile to his lips.

"They weren't there."

"Did you feel in the dream that they approved?"

"Of course." He replied. "I have no doubt they finally saw my true strength."

"You would be an excellent ruler, my love." She pressed a kiss to his cheek. "No one has as big a heart like you."

With her head pressed to his chest, he softly agreed. "Yes, I believe I would be just the ruler this country needs."

As the months passed, he fed her little by little tidbits of stories he claimed he had heard. The creatures of the Dark Kingdom were miserable. They were being ill treated by their once beloved monarch.

"I can't stand the thought of any of them suffering." He paced back and forth before her.

"Of course you can't." She replied. "I wish there was something we could do."

His steps faltered. Turning toward her, his sharp eyes filled with tears.

"Do you truly wish you could help them, Maddie?"

"I do." She reached for his hands. "It seems so wrong to be given these magical powers and not use them in some way to help your people."

He smiled warmly at her. She had stopped referring to the people of the Dark Kingdom as monsters. It had taken a long time to get her to do so, but he knew it would all be well worth it in the end.

Leo sat down before her. "If anyone can find a way for us to take our rightful place, it is you," he pressed a kiss to her hands, "my love."

Madeleine blushed at his faith in her. She loved that he saw her as no one else did. How could she not spend every single spare moment she had in pursuit of a way for him?

"I'll try, darling." She vowed. "I'll do everything within my power to return what is rightfully yours."

He captured her lips in a ravenous kiss.

**************

Now...

"I received your message." Leo climbed the trellis to Madeleine's balcony. "Did you find something?"

"I think I have." She showed him the lost book of Aurelia. "It is taking me a while to decipher, but I believe that what you need will be in here."

He stared at the book that might possibly hold his future.

"For instance," she opened it to the third chapter, "a witch held a vampire hostage to discover where their super strength and mind powers originate from."

His eyes narrowed on the crude symbols meant to be letters of the ancient Aurelian language.

"And you believe you will find a way to destroy Father's powers?" He asked.

"No." She gently placed her arm around his waist. "I believe I will find a way to give you those same powers without the vampiric nature."

His eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

"I am." She smiled up at him. "What will your first act as king be?"

He returned her smile. "After naming you queen, it will be to heal our fractured kingdom once and for all."

****************

That same evening, near a bustling market place in the capital...

"Lady Hana?"

Hana spun around and smiled. "Lord Beaumont?"

"Maxwell, please." He grinned at her. "It's nice to meet you."

She shook his hand then gestured to the lady beside her. "This my best friend and business partner, Riley Brooks."

"Hi." Riley shook his hand. "Hana said that you would be our tour guide."

"Well," he slipped his hands in his pockets while summoning his charming façade, "I don't like to brag but I do know all the best places to see in Cordonia."

"Great!" Hana relaxed some. "We have quite the list prepared of what we want to see most."

"Oh?" His eyes widened when she handed him a notebook. "Wow. You, uh, you weren't kidding."

"We're vloggers." Riley explained. "Our subscribers depend on us to be thorough with the places we travel to."

"Then you've got the right kind of tour guide." He hesitated when he came to Riley's section. "Interested in the supernatural?"

"Yep." Riley laughed. "You wouldn't think it of us," she nudged a giggle out of Hana, "but we have a lot of fun exploring the creepy."

"Not that we have ever come across a ghost or creature of the night." Hana added. "But we refuse to give up."

"I see." Maxwell mumbled. He looked up at them with a grin. "I'm a fraidy cat myself."

"That's okay." Riley shrugged. "It won't be the first time Hana and I have to venture into the unknown alone."

"She means supposed haunted houses and woods." Hana added with a chuckle.

"But that's not all I want to see." Riley pointed at another section of her list. "Night clubs and historical spots are another part I want to spend time on."

Maxwell shut the binder. "How about for your first venture into Cordonia's nightlife we go dancing?" He flashed another dimpled grin. "No need to spook you on the first night here."

"Sounds good to me." Riley replied when Hana tilted her head in agreement. "Lead the way."

******************

"Why did we come here of all places?" Drake grumbled.

"I sent Leo a message to meet us here for a drink." Liam sat down at one of the bar's balcony chairs. "He hasn't replied but I am still hopeful he will show up."

He had always enjoyed this particular bar simply for its view. The bustling marketplace of Cordonia's capital was the perfect place to people watch.

It was one of his favorite past times and he usually came by himself. Tonight though, he had dragged Drake and Sherry along while forcing Rashad to promise to meet up with them once he concluded a business dinner.

"Here we go." Sherry set some glasses down. "One whiskey for Mr. Grumpypants."

"Hey!"

"Sorry, I meant Sir Grumpypants." She teased. "One scotch for Liam." She sat down between them, "...and one--" her eyes began to glow as she zeroed in on an all too familiar figure down in the crowd.

"Sherry?" Drake poked her when she stilled.

"What is it?" Liam became alarmed by her fury forming.

Her eyes narrowed to mere slits. "He wouldn't dare!"

Sparks shot off from her hands as she shoved her chair back.

"Sherry!" Liam grasped her arm to try to calm her down before her emotions gave away what she was. He believed though that he should be able to alter the few patron’s memory here yet he hoped it wouldn't come to that."

"Who are you--" Drake's jaw spasmed as he tried to remain under control. He finally saw what she had seen. "It's that damn Beaumont!"

Liam turned to scan the crowd. He noticed the hunter walking with a lady on each arm. His brow furrowed at the strange sight. He knew Sherry had secured for the most part a future with him, and yet he was out with two--

Liam sucked in a strangled breath. The lady on his left had lifted her face to look at the upper level bars and restaurants. Her deep brown eyes met his and she smiled before continuing on her study of her surroundings.

Sherry jerked her arm out of his grasp. "I'm going to burn off some pieces of his body for this!"

Drake didn't bother to help stop her, hoping she would indeed hurt the man.

Liam shook himself out of the haze seeing the strange woman had caused. "Wait!" He took off after his relative. "Sherry!"

Drake heaved a groan, downed his drink, and begrudgingly followed in their wake.

******************

"...and if you are looking for the latest fashions, Hana, this store has a direct from Paris line--"

Maxwell took a step back when Sherry appeared before them.

Hana and Riley looked first at the furious woman then at his shocked face in curiosity.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sherry hissed.

Maxwell swallowed uneasily. "Will, uh, will you ladies excuse me a moment?"

"Sure." Riley replied as he grasped the mystery woman's hand.

He released it with a yelp as if touching her had hurt.

"Is something wrong?" Hana asked.

Maxwell shook his scalded hand. "No."

"That's what you deserve." Sherry muttered for his ears only. "How could you--

"Ladies, allow me to introduce Lady Sherry Alcantar." Maxwell bit out. His blue eyes seemed to spark with a fire of his own as he gazed upon the woman. "My love, this is Lady Hana Lee and Ms. Riley Brooks of New York. Lady Hana's mother is an old friend of my family who asked me to show them around."

Sherry's eyes narrowed somewhat. She was slightly mollified in hearing him call her his love, but that still gave him no right to escort two disgustingly beautiful women around Cordonia at night.

"It's nice to meet you." Riley held her hand out. "Maxwell told us all about you on the way here. I'm so glad we have a face to put to the name he says in every other sentence."

Sherry took a deep breath to cool her fiery temper. She shook her hand with a sincere smile. "It's nice to meet you both."

Hana smiled warmly at her while describing their work. "Lady Sherry, perhaps we could question you about some of the places we hope to capture on film.

The two friends shared a significant glance when Maxwell and Sherry merely stared at one another.

"If you don't mind, I would love to go in there and look around." Hana gestured toward the shop. "I can already see some dresses that I think would be perfect for our videos."

"We'll be back in a few." Riley added, winking at Sherry on her way inside. “I’m sure Maxwell would prefer staying out here with you than be stuck shopping with us.”

Sherry took a deep breath once they were gone. "Why are you really out with them?"

"I received a call the other night from Hana's mother." He explained. "She heard about Liam's search for a bride."

"Her mother knows about the Dark Kingdom?" Sherry couldn't hide her surprise. It was rare to find anyone today who actually believed that the stories were true.

"Yes, she is from one of Cordonia's minor houses." Maxwell sighed. "She doesn't want her daughter to be the next Dark Queen."

Sherry tried to control her temper. Nothing sparked it like someone denying the sweetest, most gentle man she knew a chance at happiness. She clinched her fists when she felt the heat move over her body.

"Sherry?" Maxwell took a cautious step forward. "You're overheating." He tried to take her in his arms, wincing at how hot she felt.

Her eyes flashed as she glared at him. "I know."

He let her go. "I'm sorry, honey."

The unexpected apology and endearment was what instantly cooled her. "You're what?"

"I know how important Liam is to you." He added, running his hands down his face. "But, I doubt this will be then only lady I'm tasked with protecting from him."

"Liam deserves a chance at finding his mate as much as anyone else. Maybe even more so." Sherry argued. She raised her eyes to his. "If you would spend time with him, then you would see what kind of man he is." She looked back into the shop at the two new ladies. "Maybe then you wouldn't take on jobs like this."

Maxwell hated seeing her so down and knowing he was partly responsible. He reached out and took her in his arms, cuddling her close. He dropped a kiss on top of her head.

“I know you want me to meet him. I’ll try to do so one day.” He tried to fight how wrong that felt saying aloud. “But for the moment, I can’t take a chance on Liam meeting Hana.”

“Why did you accept this?” She asked. “You've never taken on bodyguard duty before.”

"Hana's family offered incentives that I needed to help with Bertrand's healing." He rested his cheek against her head when he felt her arms wrap around him. "I didn't think about how it would affect Liam or you. I just knew I couldn't pass up this opportunity for my brother.”

Sherry lifted her head and gently kissed him. "I understand." A rueful smile formed on her lips. "And I apologize for blowing up at you earlier. When I saw you with two highly attractive women and clearly having the time of your life, something in me just snapped."

"You know, you ruined me for anyone else." His dimpled grin appeared. "I could be out with a dozen so called gorgeous women and all I would notice is that they aren't you."

She beamed at him. "Really?"

"Really."

When silence fell between them again, Maxwell exaggerated clearing his throat. He cocked an eyebrow when Sherry looked up at him.

"You ruined me too." She admitted.

"I better have." He grinned once more when he heard her laugh. "Just so there is no misunderstanding, I have to spend the next few weeks with Hana and Riley." He nudged Sherry's chin up. "I want you to come with us as much as you would like."

"You do?"

He nodded.

"I suppose I could find the time." She teased. With a sigh she looked up at the bar. "I should probably head back up there."

"Where?"

"I was up there having a drink with Liam and Drake." She pointed toward the empty balcony. "I wonder where they went."

"Liam's here?!" Maxwell let her go and rushed over to the shop window. He breathed a touch easier when he saw Hana critically studying a dress Riley had tried on.

He then scanned the crowd. His hand immediately went to his side, causing him to curse aloud when he remembered he had not brought his sword. He had left it behind to keep the illusion of a fun, party lord intact.

He really needed to start carrying a hidden dagger like Olivia kept insisting.

Sherry folded her arms while watching him revert into hunter mode. "Max? You know Liam would never harm them."

He narrowed his eyes as he searched for the Dark Prince and his right hand man.

He glanced at the lady beside him when he heard her deep sigh.

"Let me see where he disappeared to and I'll try and get him out of here."

"What was he doing down here anyway?" He asked.

"Oh." Sherry bit down on her bottom lip. "He recently found out that Leo is back in Cordonia and invited him to meet us for a drink."

"Leo's here too?!" Maxwell briefly closed his eyes. "I've got both of Constantine's sons converging on the very spot where I bring the woman I'm supposed to protect from that family."

Sherry rolled her eyes. "Stop panicking. I don't think Leo will show."

Maxwell noticed the bitterness in her tone. "He’s still not speaking to any of you?"

"Nope." Sherry wrapped her arms around his waist when he placed his arm back around her shoulders to try and comfort her. "No one in our kingdom has heard a word from him since Liam was named heir."

Maxwell pressed a kiss to the side of her head. "I'm sorry--"

She jumped when her phone vibrated. 

"What's wrong?" Maxwell asked when her brow furrowed.

"Liam has gone to the palace. He said he needs to talk to Olivia." She sighed. "I guess Leo really is going to ignore us." She looked up at Maxwell. "You can rest easy in your job this evening, Lord Beaumont."

He hugged her close against his side. "You want to come with us? Riley wants to check out the nightlife here and I offered to take them to one of the clubs."

"A night club, huh?" She laughed. "It might actually seem like a date if I did come along."

Her heart melted at how bashful he suddenly seemed over the reminder that they had yet to have an actual date.

"I guess I have dropped the ball on that."

"It's hard to find the time when you're guarding the border nearly every night." She reminded him.

"We'll have our date one day." He promised.

"I'm fine with our nights at the border."

"You deserve better." Maxwell kissed her once more. "I'll make it up to you."

Sherry's lips parted to reassure him, only to pause when Riley and Hana came out of the store.

"Ready?" He asked them, summoning his fun loving persona once more.

"Please get us out of here." Riley pleaded playfully. "I think I actually heard my bank account cry after buying these." She held up the garment bags.

Hana laughed while keeping her own purchases off the ground. "Perhaps we should call it a night since we ended up buying so much. Is there any chance you can show us more tomorrow?"

Sherry could feel the tension in his body ease completely at the notion of putting these two safely away from the night.

"Sure." He looked down at the lady in his arms. "Sherry and I were just deciding on the places to show you these next few weeks."

"That's wonderful!" Hana beamed at the new lady. "We are grateful for all the help we can get."

While Riley and Hana began to eagerly question Sherry on her favorite restaurants and things to do, Maxwell guided them out of the market place, all while keeping a lookout for any sign of Liam.

***************

"Why are we going to see her again?" Drake grumbled. "Isn't it bad enough we had to see a Beaumont tonight? Now you want to add a Nevarkis to the evening's entertainment."

Liam ignored him as his jumbled thoughts focused in on one fact: he had actually seen the woman he knew to be his mate.

When he chased after Sherry, he had decided to hang back in the shadows. Knowing that the hunter his relative had lost her heart to would not be comfortable with his presence, he decided to remain far enough that he could intercede if Sherry's temper caused any problems.

Plus he hoped to hear more about the woman Maxwell was escorting.

Ms. Riley Brooks of New York. 

He not only had overheard her name but also where she was from. He was able to see her more clearly in the lights from the nearby shops. Her beauty and the sound of her voice stirred something he had never felt when looking upon any other person.

She had to be the one. There was no other explanation to his reaction to just the sight of her.

Then he heard the reason Maxwell was with them.

The Dark Prince could not have cared less about the lady named Hana. But his job to protect her was going to make Liam's courtship of Riley difficult. He knew he would need some help if he was to get her away from her friend and Maxwell.

He couldn't ask Sherry to manipulate Maxwell into time alone with Riley. It didn't seem right to use the love between them in such a manner.

While frustration grew, he overheard the fact that Hana's mother was a Cordonian noble.

And he finally knew who could help him.

"Wait here." Liam ordered when they reached the palace gates. "I want Olivia in a good mood when I ask for her help. Seeing you, sadly, will not accomplish that."

"You're asking for her help?”  Drake asked. “In what?"

"I'll tell you everything once the plan is in motion." He promised.

"But--" Drake rolled his eyes when Liam vanished. Within a second, he saw him climbing into the queen's window of her study.

"Good luck." He mumbled as he settled in for a long wait.

******************

"Hold on." Olivia raised her hands. "You want me to invite you and these Americans to my masquerade ball?" Her eyes widened. "Are you insane?!" She got up from her desk and began to pace. "Liam, my guards are trained to find and destroy any vampire who dares to enter the palace during such events!"

"I won't touch a single drop of blood that night and my manners will fit right in with the rest of the nobility." He explained. "Plus with wearing a mask, no one will recognize me."

"Why here?" Olivia asked. "Can't you do whatever you vampires do when you find your mate without involving me or my home?"

Liam leaned against the edge of her desk. "Because of Maxwell and Sherry."

"Maxwell and Sherry? What does my most trusted monster hunter and one of your dragons have to do with this?"

Liam's brow furrowed. "Hasn't he told you that he is Sherry's recognized mate?"

"Maxwell is a dragon's mate? Maxwell Beaumont?!" Oliva sat down in a chair completely stunned by this news.

"I can't believe he didn't tell you." Liam hoped he hadn't ruined anything by revealing this.

"Maxwell owes me nothing, especially when it concerns his private life." Olivia quickly explained. "If anything, it is me and Cordonia that owe him for all his years of service." A wiry smile flirted about her lips at the irony of it all. "A renowned monster hunter and a monster in love and destined for one another. Poor Maxwell. That had to be a shock."

"You know, you really are a nice person." Liam grinned and sat across from her. "That's why I knew as a little boy that we were destined to be friends."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Back to your request. Why will my ball not only help you but also keep Sherry and Maxwell out of it?"

"Because Maxwell will be forced to come along once you invite Lady Hana and Riley. And if I'm here--"

"Yes, but my head of security knows your name and what you are." Olivia stressed again. "I can't have him see your name on the guest list and--"

"But I will simply be company with the Duke of Domvallier." Liam explained. "Rashad's duchy is technically Cordonian, as you well know. Since only a rare handful know that Rashad and Sherry are dragons, I assumed your head of security would think it was a myth too."

Olivia nodded. "That's true. Bastien believes that the only creatures of the Dark Kingdom are vampires."

Liam's smile grew. "I can be a business associate of Rashad's. While Maxwell is keeping an eye on Hana and distracted with Sherry, I can then meet Riley under easier circumstances."

Seeing his excitement, she knew she couldn't refuse him.

"You're the only one who can do this for me." Liam added. "Plus, you're one of the few I can trust with this."

"Geez. Why not whip out those mind powers of yours while you're at it?" She grumbled.

Shaking her head over how easily she was ready to help him, she couldn't help but return his smile. "Fine. I'll send invitations to Rashad for the three of you and for Lady Hana and company."

Liam scooped her up out of her chair before she could blink and hugged her tight.

"Thank you!" He bowed and kissed her hand. "I knew I could count on you."

"Uh huh." She waved towards her window. "Now get out of here before I change my mind."

He winked at her and did as she said. "I'll see you at the Masquerade Ball, your majesty."

She walked over to the window and watched him disappear through the gate. Her smile dimmed as she thought of the report she had been reviewing when he appeared in her private study.

Olivia wondered if she should have told Liam about his brother's secret meetings with the Countess of Fydelia. There could only be one reason he had recently become so close to the witch. Leo must be searching for a way to gain the power he had been denied since birth.

Deciding to keep a close eye on the banished prince, she planned on telling Liam once she had more information. He was so happy with finding his mate that she couldn't stand the thought of taking that away from him with this news.

"Damn it." Olivia muttered. "Liam really is my best friend."

Somehow a Nevarkis had developed a love for a Rhys.

*Character moodboard for Madeleine and Leo*

[kozu-chan]

synopsis: keeping up with a society that expects you to be perfect is exhausting in every way possible. you're lucky enough to have found someone who relates to navigate this brutal world with.

content warnings: fem! reader, cursing, insults, bullying if you squint, mentions of insecurity, a bit of fighting, mentions of mental health, and sakusa might be ooc but that's just to make the arguments a little more dramatic.

sour masterlist

growing up, you were a perfectionist. although this wasn't necessarily your fault, was it? at the young age of four, your parents discovered that you were, and maybe still are, gifted with talent for music. this led to years of guitar, piano, violin, flute, singing, and even harp lessons. throughout the years, you went through many concerts and hours upon hours of practicing your various instruments. this led you to attend the infamous itachiyama academy in high school and that was only the beginning of your troubles.

as a perfectionist, you dedicate yourself not only to your music, but to your studies as well. sadly, even you can't manage to balance school, music, sleep, and a social life and one of those things have to give due to your busy schedule, so you sacrifice your social life. sometimes you think that this was the wrong move because that just makes high school practically a living hell for you. that is, until about a week ago.

last week, you had a regular morning. you walk through the halls of your school and people do their best to avoid you, to not get in your way. however, that doesn't stop them from gossiping about you. "wow look at l/n. little miss perfect." "i dare you to talk to her!" "she's such an ice cold perfectionist." "i could never be friends with her. she's too serious." "does this bitch even have a life?" you ignore the comments as you make your way to your first class. sometimes you just want to yell at them to stop talking about you. to tell them how much it hurts you and how being such a perfectionist is exhausting. to let them know that their comments only add to how lowly you think of yourself. that you wish that you had even one friend because you feel so alone.

after school, you spend hours in the music room practicing a song you were thinking of performing, something self-written as a way of releasing your emotions. and once you think your practice is sufficient, you curl up against the wall and cry.

once your crying session is done, you get up and walk back to your dorm. on the way back, you see someone in the gym do an insane serve that slams down that just barely makes it in. you hear a groan of frustration followed by the oh so familiar sound of breath getting shaky due to crying. your gaze follows the sound to see the figure on the floor crying and your breath gets caught in your throat when you realize it's not just any player, but one of the top three aces in japan, sakusa kiyoomi.

"sakusa-san?" sakusa looks at you with what looks like a bit of fear but anger replaces his expression before you could confirm your suspicions. "what the fuck are you doing here? this is a private practice." his tone is cold, firm, and piercing. you could feel a chill run down your spine, but you ignore the feeling because other people, especially your parents, have been on the receiving end on your own tone that sounds just as menacing. the only indicator of crying being the red, slightly watery eyes that you can't help but sympathize with. "what are you staring at?" you snap out of your thoughts to respond to him. "i saw you on my way back to my room. i just happened to see you crying and i-"

sakusa sighs again in frustration. "and you what? just shut up and leave me alone!" "i just know what it's like, okay? you really think that you're the only one who's tired of not feeling good enough? the only one who's cried because you just want to get better but you don't see any improvement no matter how much you practice?" your voice is loud and yet on the verge of tears. you glace at sakusa, who now looks angrier but you don't care. "so sue me if i come off as a ice cold bitch who doesn't talk to anyone because i do anything and everything i can to be perfect even if i always fall short and sue me for sympathizing with you."

the room grows quiet, save for the sounds of your shaky breathing as you try your best to calm down before you actually start breaking down in front of him. it takes another few seconds before sakusa stands up and walks up to you. "l/n, right? yeah well you don't know me and you should just get out of my sight. you shouldn't be trying to get someone to stop crying if you're just going to cry yourself. just relax more." relax more? "that's rich coming from you." you're no longer crying and sakusa stops in his tracks.

"you're telling me to relax more when you don't seem to have any chill... ever. and let's not forget that your crying was what brought into the gym in the first place." you take a deep breath to calm yourself. "so... the gym is like your safe space, right?" sakusa doesn't answer, clearly exasperated and silently begging you to leave. "c'mon, sakusa-san! you can tell me!" you smile a little when he opens his mouth to talk, only to be disappointed by his response. "god, you're such an annoying bitch. go find someone else to bother!" you're disappointed but you're also persistent. after all, you are the one that figures out and teaches all the schoolwork you struggle with to yourself. "if it makes you feel better..." you sigh quietly and contemplate whether or not it was a good idea to expose yourself this much to someone you just started talking to. "if it makes you feel better, my room and the music rooms are my safe spaces." "it really doesn't. if anything, it just makes me feel even more pathetic!" a small smirk graces your features as you realize that you got him. "so this is your safe space? i didn't hear a denial!" sakusa rolls his eyes. "would you shut up already" "not until you admit it." he glares at you and you just look him dead in the eye, causing him to break (probably so you would shut up as he thinks you'll do if he admits it). "fine... the gym is my safe space... that you're encroaching on." you back away slightly because he was right. and you know that you would also be pissed as fuck if someone encroached on your safe space, especially while you were crying. "i'm sorry, i just wanted to help. but, maybe we could be each other's safe spaces?"

you mentally sigh in relief as sakusa looks just the slightest bit more comfortable upon hearing that. "i mean, you know what it's like so... i guess i wouldn't be opposed to that." the two of you give each other a small smile as you sit down a good length away from him. "god, it's brutal out here, huh?" sakusa lets out a small laugh and agrees.

"sakusa, are you really gonna go pro like they say you are?" sakusa looks at you for a second and nods. you even notice his eyes lighting up a little. "yeah, that's what i want. it's what i've wanted for as long as i could remember. i wouldn't work so hard for it and get so dirty if it wasn't my dream... what about you? are you going to become a musician?" now it's your turn to pause. you freeze up. it's been so long since someone's asked you what you wanted. "i... honestly? i don't know what i want anymore. it's been so long since i've been asked what i wanted. it's been so long since someone's seen me outside of the "little miss perfect" that everyone else sees... i don't know." you take a moment to recollect your thoughts. "i just hate the thought of disappointing people that i think i've lost myself in the process. i've been pursuing music for so long that it's familiar, it's instinct, and i can't see myself doing anything else because i haven't done anything else..." your voice gets quieter as you speak. this is the first time you've ever gotten a chance to voice out your thoughts to someone and your own revelations shock you.

"yeah, i think i'm getting there too. losing myself to satisfy everyone while trying to stay true to myself. after all, who am i if not exploited?" it takes a minute to digest the words that were so simple and yet so powerful, the six words that could be used to summarize your entire life. "it sucks, doesn't it? like all i did was try my best, and this is the kind of thanks i get? annoyance and isolation? awards and acknowledges of achievement but at what cost? my social life? my mental health? ... my identity?" sakusa looks like he's going to say something but you shoot him a look and his mouth closes to let you continue. "it's literally so fucking stupid! there's literally no actual reward for me anymore, nothing satisfying. it's all worthless - meaningless, even. sometimes i wish i could disappear..."

a small breath is sucked up and you turn to sakusa. "sorry that was heavy. i've just never had someone to talk to about this. at least not properly."

"i get it. i haven't really had a lot of people to talk to either. at least not that honestly. i'm glad we have each other now, because you were right. it is brutal out here and it's good that we can stick together now."

after that, no one really bothered you anymore and it was all thanks to your new friend and confidant.

a/n: sheesh this is one of the longest things i've written. i really hope you like it and i'm really sorry that i suck at endings!!

[kookie-doughs]

Beta Tester

Kozume Kenma X Reader

-YN LN is a popular mangaka

Chapter 16: Stage

Seeing you running towards him made Kenma frown.

"Kenma!" You waved. "Thank you for not leaving yet!"

Ignoring you he continued to walk towards the direction of the stage.

You pouted and crossed your arms. "You know... As sorry as I am for that kiss I really don't regret it."

Jogging up in front of him with a shit eating grin, you positioned yourself in front of him where he'd have no choice but to look at you while you looked at him. His ears were slightly red without a doubt but who were you kidding yours were too.

Kenma cleared his throat, "Good for you then. Now get out of the way so I could get out of here. "

"And honestly I liked that kiss." You continued determined to see him flustered again. "Your lips were soft and I bet my ass you're a great kisser. I rate you 10/10 would do it again."

With a glare he looked at you straight in the eyes, "So do it pussy." Then went ahead before you could see the red settling on his face.

"I- Wh- Excuse me- Wh- Huh? K-Ken- Kenma!!" You squeaked as you chased after him.

"I said what I said."

You finally caught up to him when he was about to climb the stairs towards the stage. Luckily(?) you also have to go up with him.

"Ehh... Where's the flustered Kenma? I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked. You looked so adorable. I don't want hot daddy Dom Kenma. I want cute baby sub Kenma..."

As he was halfway up the stairs your height gap grew and he was way over you. He just looked down on you, leaning closer the gap barely existent he smirked.

"Too bad." Then turned away.

There were a handful of people who saw the scene. Which made you more embarrassed. Holy shit you acted all alpha online only to be dominated by a hermit named Kozume Kenma.

Boy were you happy. You'd happily submit to him.

"Let us all welcome the two people who made the game possible! YN LN and Kozume Kenma!!"

You might be confused why you two were the ones going and why you were introduced like that.

As you are the creator of Puri-Puri you of course are the reason why this game existed.

But Kenma came here as he's the biggest investor, the face of the game and no one else wanted to go. So yeah...

As you two came up the stage you were just wishing the blush from the scene a few moments ago. The cameras flashed and claps were heard.

"Shit the media is here..." You mumbled.

"Your surprised, why?" Kenma gave you an amused and disappointed look. No idea how he managed to do that but he did.

"Shut the fuck up. I just got a feeling the questions won't be about the game thanks to the media."

"So you do think sometimes..."

"You want me to hit you?"

A clearing of throat behind you stopped your argument. It was Akaashi handing you both microphones to be clipped on you [I'm sorry I dont know what they're called] .

"Good luck, don't do and say anything stupid. And remember this is the release of PPM's demo." He reminded and got off the stage.

"Good evening to you all! I hope you've been having a great time!" I started.

"We'd like to thank you again for attending the release of PPM's demo."

"Now of course the game is yet to be played but from the trailer that was shown, I hope you had enjoyed it since the game is going to be much better than the trailer!"

"I'm sure you all must've questions as well. That's why Me and your idi-- dear author will answer."

"You definitely were about to call me idiot." You frowned at him.

He smirked and shrugged. "I have not a slightest idea what you mean."

"You're the worst."

Ignoring you... Again. He motioned at one of the reporters to probably ask their question.

"Ms. LN, as the initial plot of the Puri-Puri Magika is about [REDACTED], and the trailer we saw have quite a large difference from one another only having the universe in similarty. Is it just the universe of the similar one to the manga? "

"Of course the plot would be different. It disappoints me quite a bit that none of you realized how they're connected aside from the universe. Well, I don't really want to spoil you but if you actually read the Manga and saw the trailer," You gave a proud smirk. "Everyone that was a fan of PPM in the team were ecstatic. They were all just-" You mimicked a mind blown. "They were so excited about the game and a those."

"Thank you Ms. LN."

"Next please."

"Mr. Kozume," the next one called. "You were neither a fan of YN, nor PPM, why did you decide to not only beta test the game but sponsor and invest big sum of money on the game."

"We--"

"No wait ! I want to answer some of those questions!" You cut off cackling. "The one about him investing and him beta testing! It's actually an annoying and Hella funny story."

"No I was a--"

"Shut up you'll probably lie."

"Shut up." Kenma now had his ears red. "Don't you--"

"He was the biggest asshole back then!"

"Stop talking."

"He fucking beta tested despite not knowing shit about PPM because it was the biggest game. And he just banwagoned  on it like a bitch he was."

"I did not. I had some clues about you Manga."

"You did not know shit about PPM cut yo bullshit. You didn't even know who the MC was!"

"Shut up."

"That's why he beta tested! Now the reason why he invested is really hilarious!"

"I really hate this story..."

"This was the reason why Kenma became Bae too! We didn't know shit about how to contact Kenma, we only had his email address and his social media. Keep that in mind. "

"So since he didn't know shit about PPM he really couldn't care about the plot and just looked for bugs and shit. He wasn't even aware of the bugs in the plot since he didn't know which what was supposed to be part of the plot and not. This bitch ass decided there wasn't any bugs anymore so we went with that. But then we had to play it and saw a shit ton of bugs."

"I said there were some bugs don't make me seems so stupid."

"You didn't even inform us about the glitch at the time skip part! That could've ruined the entire thing! Anywayz, so we had to code the game again. So we emailed him that there were way too many bugs other than what he told us so the next testing would be later. But the asshole never replied. And since I was the one entasked to guide this bitch ass, I  had to flood his email! And he didn't respond! Not once! It had been DAYS! I send him at least 20 emails everyday! I have up on the 3-4th day and DMed him on Twitter."

"I really hate this part."

"No. No. This is the best part. Do y'all remember that one trending #KodzuGone started by Tenma? It's because, this asshole never responded to our emails so I DMed him all the shit important shit in the emails. Then this bitch fucking blocked me! I fucking rante to Tenma and he canceled Kenma like he deserved to! I was panicking about it since Mr. Suzumiya told me that Kenma could be a potential investor if he wanted. And I needed cash... "

"Do not call me that publicly. You are disgusting."

"He went full sugar daddy on me!" You cackled. "His entire squad had betrayed him! They were canceling him so he just fucking slid into my DMs apologizing about the shit he did and I told him, bitch I'm coming over there and see you play this fucking game or I will not stop this canceling and make it worse. So he was forced to telll me his address and I'm not sure if yall saw the live but it was hot shit. The next day he bought all the copies of PPM at this one store and gave them to me and then he invested shit ton of money on my on going works, bought me a new tablet, paid my Keiji bills, and many other shit. Yall would die to have him as sugar daddy I'm telling you. Ya don't even have to give him sugar for the treats. "

"That was the biggest mistake I made."

"Awwe, but thanks to that we're closer than ever. "

"Exactly my point."

"Thank you for answering Ms. LN."

"I hate you so much." Kenma sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No you don't. Admit it you love me."

"I really don't. Next question please."

"A-Ah, my initial question was actually answered in the previous question. It about your live. Now my question is, Ms LN and Mr. Kozume, is your relationship really a platonic one or a romantic one? "

"Okay, babe," You chuckled. "my man won't even let me breathe the same air he does. Ya think we're dating?"

"Well your right."

"What?"

"Excuse me?"

"Huh?! " You exclaimed a little louder than you thought since the mic made a loud noise.

"The relationship we have is both platonic and romantic. As labels aren't placed we share a romantic relationship." Kenma smirked.

You looked at him and the crowd with a clear eminent blush. "I-I I- Wh-"

Pulling you closer to him and turning around so the crowd won't see you both. He lowered the mic to prevent them from hearing.

"I wanted to see you all blushy and panicked . You look adorable." He whispered to your ear before facing the crowd again who were now going crazy over what Kenma had just confirmed.

"Y-You're an asshole..."

"Yeah, an asshole who..." lowering his mic again he leaned to your ear. "Still has your favorite onsie at his place. You really shouldn't have left it at my place. I'm so tempted to burn it."

"You leave my onsie alone! I will drown your consoles."

"With that threat, you're suddenly stripped of your house visit privileges."

"W-Why would you say we're dating?!"

"I didn't. I just said we both share a romantic and platonic relationship with no labels. I technically didn't lie too."

"Why did you do this?"

"Aside from wanting to see you all flustered? I'm probably drunk." Kenma smiled and turned to the crowd again. "Next question please."

Previous | Masterlist | Next

I'm sorry lately there's been to many words and less pictures it's just that... Idk

Lol I'm sorry this was supposed to be smau but there's been too many words

Ooc Kenma is shit so I made him drunk

-kookie-doughs

Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @synx-ed @normalisthenewnorm @0majuh0 @leachann @nikanikabitch @almondeupeach @immxnty @mer-majesty @yamayoomi @simpingoveranime-men @lostmarimoismyhubby @mariishat @just-snog-already

[heresathreebee]

That G-D Ring of Yours

High Fidelity’s Robyn Brooks X Female reader

Summary: You seek comfort from your neighbor Rob

Masterlist

There's probably gonna be a part 2

Word count: 2.5k words

Warning(s): +15 | implied cheating, internalized homophobia, heterosexism, author and Rob swearing, no hate to polyamorists but major hate to bad faith players, shameless self insert, no beta, barely edited, long as fuck I'm so sorry

Author's note: I'm having anxiety for no discernable reason and my brain has decided this is ideal fuel for a fic, so please enjoy. EDIT: ha ha yeah still anxious but we're doing stuff about it

-------------------------------------------------------

"-- And she just touched my hand by accident and I just felt this–  this spark between us…" 

It was so sweet how he was talking about it. Or at least it would be were this not your fiancé explaining how he had been seeing another person behind your back. Had you rushed into things with him? Gotten hitched after three months because of familial pressure to settle down and start your family? Quite possibly.

But it didn't make that stabbing in your gut hurt any less. 

You had been a little gung-ho from date number 1, but he had been right there with you the whole time. Date number 2 happened the following weekend and then you just kept seeing each other more and more until before you knew it you had been introduced to each other's extended families and announced your engagement on Valentine's Day. 

You started to suspect something was amiss on Sunday, when you were braiding your hair on the bed and he had gone to take a shower. He accidentally set his phone screen aside with a text chat still open. Thinking nothing of it (he had already told you he was talking to Mark about getting drinks tonight), you looked at the name and saw it belonged to a woman you had never heard of before. Your immediate reaction was 'she must be a new coworker or a cousin,' but then you glanced again and saw the text conversation mirrored the same kind of ‘sentiments’ he texts you. 

The dirt burned into your brain for eternity: 

You had looked away then. You were actually not going to say anything at all to him that night– had planned to bring it up after Tuesday dinner with your auntie's family, but something came up. It turns out that Jessabelle also frequented the same Starbucks as you (and she's your age, not a teen like you worried). You can't even find it in you to be mad at her since it seemed like she had no idea who you were when she showed you the picture of her date at a baseball game. You tried not to puke as you asked for her number and to send her that picture "for her contact profile." 

You hadn't heard a word your fiance had said since the beginning of the phone call and you cut him off with some excuse you barely remember. You tossed your phone carelessly onto the couch and laid back on the cushions in defeat. What now? 

You weren't really a drinker or a smoker, and you didn't exactly have friends who would be supportive right now. You could hear them now, your family too– asking you what you did wrong, telling you to just forgive him or how to get even, or simply saying 'well what do you expect? Boys will be boys.' 

Maybe… no, you definitely need to get this off your chest before you do something stupid like pretend to forget about it. You had a bad habit of that because you tend to fall fast and hard. Perhaps your neighbor could give you some advice. 

Thank the Lord for fire escapes. Rob lived on the floor beneath you, always playing something good from her huge collection of vinyl records. You've told her at least a hundred times before if she played nothing but Phil Collins for the rest of eternity, you could die happy. You crossed your fingers and hoped you weren't being weird or invading her privacy. 

Thankfully, she seemed to be expecting you. She even motioned that the latch was undone and waved you inside. Ok the second wine glass made your face grow hot. 

"I'm not interrupting am I?" 

Rob gave you a warm smile. "I could hear you pacing around your kitchen for about an hour. Was about to come and get you actually." 

She pressed the glass into your hand and you made an effort not to grimace. Rob liked her drinks cheap and strong and she never held back. You tried a sip just to be polite, and she snorted at the face you pulled. 

"That's right, you like that sweet stuff. What's it called again?" 

"Stella Rosa," you mumbled, grateful when she takes the glass back and hands you a water to replace it. 

"Favorite flavor," she asked looking at her phone. 

"Uh… the peach and the rosé. They're all pretty good, not gonna lie." 

"OK, take this, grab a blanket from the hall closet, and tell me what's going on." 

You curled up on Rob's couch and put your feet up. There were piles of records all over the place, empty beer cans and a pizza box or two on the coffee table. Your neighbor tapped away at her phone screen before silencing it and slipping it in her back pocket. She gave you a minute or two to speak up, sipping her drink like you two had all night. Which actually you did as you did not want to see your fiancé right now. 

You felt two fingers gently tap your forehead. "Come on, dreamer, tell me what's going on in that head of yours." 

You swallow the lump in your throat. "I feel a little over dramatic saying my life is about to fall apart." 

Rob raised her eyebrows at you. "Damn, OK." 

You rush to correct yourself– explain your weird sentiment in more detail but you end up just vomiting words until your voice is hoarse. 

"I mean– like– like it's not falling apart per say or whatever– I… the rest of my life is fine its just my relationship that's screwed. Which I guess I'm more worried about because it's gonna screw up all my other relationships for a while too– dang it, let me start over–" 

"Babe! Slow down. Breathe." Rob switched drinks with you and against your better judgement you took a sip. Oddly enough it did calm you down. "So… it's your fiancé, right? What did he do?" 

You stared at her trying to unscramble your thoughts. "He… I found out he was kind of... dating another person. After I found out, he tried to explain that he didn't think I would mind–" 

Rob barked, "let me guess: he didn't think you were exclusive? Pull the Main Chick, Side Chick schtick? Tried to claim 'polyamory' after he got caught?" 

Two and two clicked together at last. "Yeah… yeah, he did!," you scoffed, "and it's not like it didn't ever come up in conversation: we spent our third date talking out our, like, sexualities and fantasies and fetishes and shit. If he was polyamorous, wh- why wouldn't he have brought it up then?" 

"That is so fucked." 

You took a deeper draft of her wine, coughing before setting it aside. Up until now, you've been numb. Now there's this wave of anger boiling up to the surface and you hear yourself getting louder. Rob doesn't flinch but she does give you this look of empathy unlike anything you've seen before. 

"If he– if he would have just asked me, I would have told him it was fine. My family does shit like that all the time: nobody bats an eye! If he really thought I wouldn't mind, he wouldn't have been so freaking sneaky about it. He literally lied, Robyn!" 

You whipped around and for a brief moment you knew you looked crazy. "He said he was going out for drinks with his guy friend, but he was making plans to go to a baseball game with a girl I've never heard of! If he really thought I wouldn't mind, or if he 'thought I would understand,' then why would go out of his way to lie about who he was with?" 

Someone buzzed Rob's door and she left you on the couch momentarily, coming back quickly with two bottles of your favorite wine. "Damn girl, these are kinda bougie: Peach or Rosé?" 

"I--"you choked, "Robyn you didn't have to–" 

"Peach it is!" She unscrewed the caps and handed you the whole freaking bottle of white, downing the last of her merlot and getting a fresh glass for you. 

You felt a little guilty she had spent money on you. But then again it had been her choice. If she didn't want you there, Rob wouldn't have let you in in the first place. Maybe you were just a tinsy bit worried you shouldn't be here. 

You and Rob took a break from talking to put on music and get a little tipsy. It came much easier with the help of the Stella Rosa, though Rob initially complained it was 5.5%, she did get accustomed to the sweetness pretty fast, and after consuming half the bottle, realized it was a little easier to get carried away with a drink like this. She admitted it was her first time trying rosé and now she was hooked. Eventually you started talking again, just spilling your guts out with no filter anymore. 

"I really think I just hate myself," you said cuddling the cool glassware. "When I found out, I wasn't even thinking of it as a betrayal of my trust– it felt like I was trying to come to terms with it so I could continue with the relationship. Not because it would make me happy but because… I don't know… it's what everybody else wants me to do. They don't even know about it and I was fully prepared not to tell them even though they'd want me to marry him whether they knew or not." 

Rob barked a laugh of surprise. "Doh-K!" 

"What?" 

"Nothing, nothing…" she said, "keep going." 

You stared off into the middle distance and leaned into her side. She was a tiny bit warm despite her lithe figure. Made you want to throw your blanket over her shoulders and share your greater warmth. 

So you did (you're not great at acting out your desires but this is nice!)

"It's just easier," the words left your mouth unbidden, "I don't even know what that means, but it's true. I don't want to marry him anymore but I don't want to break it off. Not marrying Fiancé means disappointing my family. It means having to find an entire new man to marry sooner rather than later because I'm already 'behind' and lowering my already low expectations. 

"It's not gonna make me happy, but I just think it's easier to keep this wedding going because at least I won't have to find somebody new who might not be as good for me just because I didn't want him. Another man won't make me happy so there's no reason to drop him... except that I don't want him." 

Rob's brow furrowed. "Are you saying it's easier for you to please your family than it is to be happy?" 

"Yes? I– no, I– … I don't know," you sigh. "I guess you could say my priorities are a little… mismanaged." 

"Sure, you could say that." Rob wrapped her arms around your shoulders and you inhaled the scent of her soap and cigarettes. "What if you tried… like… not doing that anymore...? You just said you do whatever your family wants you to do. So, just like do what makes you happy for a change." 

It really does sound so simple the way she puts it, doesn't it? Why are you doing this to yourself? You're not dependent on them for money or security or happiness for that matter. So... why has your whole life been centered around pleasing them? 

"I think… I think I've never really sat down and thought about what makes me happy," you admitted. "I think it's just been that way forever and I might have been too scared to try anything else." 

Rob hummed. "Are you still scared now?" 

Are you? You look into her eyes and ask yourself a question that has never crossed your mind with such depth. You used to be scared– but what is it about your happiness that you are so afraid of? OK, let’s start a little simpler: what are things that make you happy? 

“I like…” you swallowed, trying to break down the barriers you’ve built years and years ago. “I like… coffee. I like… short skirts. I like… girls– I like… my job. I like… music. I think I’d enjoy camping, you know, some day…” 

Your words… these things seemed so arbitrary and trivial. But in your house, these things cause dissent. “My family has an opinion about everything. There’s no right way to live in all of their eyes, but I think I figured out a way to get past it. Keep my head down and do what’s expected of me. Graduate college, get a respectable job, find a man to marry, drop the job and become a mother. Just… don’t make waves. It seemed better because the cousins who didn’t or couldn’t… well they became the butt of every joke at the family dinner. Lisa had one miscarriage so she was a ‘failure’ and Don never dated girls so he was gay and that was ‘bad,’ but grandma Zelda did everything a good Christian woman could do and they still gossiped about her behind her back… 

“And I just… I just let their ignorance control me for my entire life.” God, you could cry right now, but somehow it just felt too good to say it outloud. “That.. that is so fucked.” 

Robyn snorted, and you turned to her as if you’d forgotten she was there. There it was again, that sympathy. Not pity, she did not burden you with tears of her own or try to be angry for you. She just listened and understood. You twisted the diamond encrusted ring on your finger and stared at her. You felt it, that feeling in your heart. No one else had given you that look, like she could really see you. 

“You’re not going back to Fiancé, are you?” Her question was equal parts worrisome and hopeful and you already knew the answer in your heart. 

“No.”

And that was it. Decision made. Actually easier than you'd thought. Maybe not down the road but it felt good for now. There's the telling your fiancé it's over, the moving out, the public announcement, the inevitable feeling of failure, your family, god, his family too. Untangling your lives would be long and hard. You're not sure if you have that level of commitment and motivation in you but fuck it. Problems for tomorrow.

You rest your head on Rob's shoulder and hope your not pushing any boundaries. She doesn't stop you though, in fact she snuggles you deeper into her. You get the feeling she's been here before though your not sure which side or how bad it was for her.

"I like you way more in the few times I've met you than any man I've ever dated," you heard yourself say. "I'm sure that means something but I'm too tired to decide anymore. No tonight at least."

Rob chuckled. "I like you too, sugar."

If you made it this far, hi 💛 appreciate you, leave me a comment! Or just comment "💛"

[hisgirlfriday22]

Untangle Me

Chapter One - McGuire’s Pub

.........

"Come on, Molly, you never do anything fun! It's only one night, and it wouldn't be the same without you!"

Molly sighed as she rolled her eyes at her coworker and friend. "That's not true, Hannah. I do plenty of fun things.." She muttered as she continued to straighten up her classroom. Due to the rainy weather outside, she'd been forced to keep her toddlers inside, and they'd practically trashed the room out of boredom. Ahh, the life of a preschool teacher...

"Pffft, sure you do. You work and you babysit. And when you're not watching kids, you go home and watch Netflix, am I right? Don't even try to deny it. Besides, what is one night out going to hurt?" Hannah asked. Her brow was raised as she gave Molly a smug smirk. She was right and she knew it.

Molly sighed and opened her mouth to speak, but she was quickly cut off by her friend once more.

"You haven't even had a night out since you broke up with Asher..."

Molly tensed a bit as she turned to look at Hannah. A hard glare was evident in her eyes. "That's not fair." She said firmly. Molly hadn't had the best relationship with Asher, and though it took so long for her to admit it to herself, breaking up with him had been the best thing she'd ever done for herself. But, it still was painful. She'd spent years with him, and it was hard to just let all of that go.

Hannah frowned at the look on her friend's face. She was regretful of her words, or rather, how she'd put them. She knew Asher was a tough subject for Molly and she should have never brought him up. Still, she knew a night out with her friends was exactly what Molly needed, even if she didn't see it. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm just worried about you, that's all. You're always doing things for others, but you never do anything for yourself. I think a night out is just what you need. "

Molly sighed as she placed the last stray toy on the shelf. She really just wanted to go home and have a relaxing night in, but perhaps there was some truth in what Hannah was saying. "You know what...fine, I'll go. But just this once, okay? And you have to promise not to harass me about going out again."

A bright grin spread across Hannah's face as she nodded eagerly. "Deal! We're meeting at McGuire's pub at 8:30, don't be late! I swear you're going to have the best time! You won't regret it!"

.....

And so that's how Molly found herself seated at a table with Hannah and Sophie, surrounded by drunk people and loud Irish music. If she was honest, this wasn't her cup of tea and she longed to go home, but she didn't want to disappoint her friends. So, she sipped idly at a glass of wine and took in her surroundings the best she could.

Sophia and Hannah had gotten lost in their own conversation, and though Molly knew they weren't trying to exclude her in any way, she felt like a third wheel and didn't want to butt into the conversation. Using the excuse of getting a second glass of wine, Molly stood from the table and made her way toward the surprisingly less crowded bar and took a seat. She let out a quiet sigh as she pulled out her phone from her pocket and began scrolling through her notifications. She quickly got lost in her own little world until she was interrupted by the feeling of an arm wrapping around her waist.

With a gasp, Molly looked up to see the smiling face of a man about her age, maybe a bit older. "There you are, Sweetheart, I wondering where you'd gotten off to." He said in a thick Australian accent. His bold actions and words earned a look of complete bewilderment from Molly. Who was this man and what the hell did he think he was doing?

"I..." Molly started, but she paused when the man leaned forward to whisper in her ear.

"Just play along...The man beside you slipped something into your drink. " He whispered, causing Molly to tense. She did her best not to look at the man beside her or her drink. Instead, she forced a smile and looked up at the oddly familiar man.

"Hey! Just thought I'd wait for you at the bar." She told him. Molly wondered if her face betrayed her confusion, and perhaps her fear. She really hoped not, though she did have a hard time controlling her expressions.

"Good call." The man replied before looking to the bartender. He ordered himself a Guinness before turning his attention to Molly. "And what do you want, Love?" Damn this man was laying it on thick, wasn't he?"

"Oh,um, just water with lime please." She said to the bartender, forcing a smile. She wanted to get away from this whole situation, but it seemed she was rather stuck. If she walked away now, it'd be quite clear to the man who attempted to drug her that she wasn't with the man who was being far too familiar with her for her liking.

Thankfully the man seemed to note Molly's discomfort, so he removed his arm from her waist before reaching for her hand. "Want to step outside a bit?" He asked her in a whisper, to which Molly nodded as she quickly slid off the barstool, not letting go of her water for a moment. She kept a hold of the man's hand as they weaved through the crowd of people and headed straight toward the outdoor seating area.

Molly was apprehensive about going outside with this man, and understandably so. She didn't know him, she didn't know his intentions. Still, he had saved her from something horrible, and though looks could be deceiving, he seemed completely harmless.

As they stepped out into the cool autumn air, Molly let out a shaky breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Her hand was still holding on to the man's hand as he led her to an empty table toward the back of the patio.

"I'd let you keep it if I didn't need it." The man teased with a grin as he gently tugged his hand away from Molly's grip.

Molly felt her cheeks burn with a blush and she quickly stuffed her hand into the pocket of her skinny jeans. She cleared her throat and took a seat at the table. "Sorry about that...Uh, thank you for...back there. I should have been paying more attention." She said.

A soft smile tugged at his lips as the man took a seat across from Molly at the table. "It's alright. I can tell your mind is a bit preoccupied. I'm just glad I got to you before you took a sip." He said. His smile faded slightly as the gravity of the situation seemed to hit him. However, his smile quickly returned as he offered his hand to Molly once more. "My name's Lachlan, uh, but my friends call me Lachy."

Molly slipped her hand into his and shook it gently, her smile mirroring his. "It's nice to meet you Lachy, despite the circumstances. I'm Molly." She couldn't help but wonder why he seemed so familiar to her. There had to be somewhere she'd seen him before, though she couldn't think of where. It wasn't really all that common to see an Australian in Folly Beach, South Carolina...

Molly was once again pulled from her thoughts by the sound of a muttered curse. She looked at Lachy to see an apologetic look on his face. "I have to go. My set starts in ten minutes." Molly must have had a confused expression on her face because Lachy gestured toward the door as he continued. "My uh, my band. We're playing next. I'm sure they're wondering where I'm at. Uh...You could come with me if you want? I'm sure it'd be okay for you to stand where out guitar cases are..."

Molly nodded slowly. "Oh, of course. Yeah, you should go." She said, smiling a bit. "I have friends here, actually. And they're probably wondering where I went. I should go find them." She explained.

Lachy gave her a curious look, and Molly figured he was wondering why she'd separated from her friends, but thankfully he didn't question it. Instead, he scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I see. Well, uh, if you're planning on staying for a while, would you like to have a drink after the set?"

Molly hesitated for a moment before she responded with a nod. She didn't know this guy, she really shouldn't be agreeing to spend time with him, but she felt she owed him at least a drink. He did potentially save her life, after all. Besides, she was certain Sophia and Hannah would be in their own little world the rest of the night anyway if they hadn't found guys to dance with already, that is. "Sure, that sounds nice." She said, offering him one more smile.

Lachy's smile brightened a bit as he offered her his hand, which Molly took against her better judgment and the two made their way back into the bar. After a quick 'see you later", they quickly went their separate ways, Lachy heading toward the small stage while Molly returned to the table with her friends. She wasn't even certain they had realized she had slipped away until Hannah gave her an accusing look.

"And where the hell have you been?" She asked her. "You slipped away to get another glass of wine almost 45 minutes ago!"

Molly bit her lip and held up her glass of water. "Uh, long story." She said as she slid into the chair she'd occupied previously.

"Mhmm, and who was that guy you were walking back in with?" Sophia questioned. A sly smirk tugged at her lips, and Molly had to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Just a guy I met. He kinda saved me from a potentially bad situation." She said with a shrug before she sipped the cold water. "Apparently someone slipped something into my drink." She held her hand up before her friends could begin freaking out. "Don't worry, I didn't drink any of it. Thankfully he was there."

"Molly, you have to pay attention. That's why it's better to stay with the group you came with." Hannah's voice was edged with annoyance, but Molly ignored it.

"Well, I'm fine." She left the conversation at that, not offering to say anything else on the matter as the sound of Irish folk music began to drift through the pub. Molly turned her attention to the stage, and her eyes widened slightly as she looked at the other people who joined Lachy on the stage. At least two of them seemed familiar as well, and she knew exactly where she'd seen them before.

"Molly, you okay?" Hannah asked, having noticed the strange expression on her friend's face. "I take it you recognize them?"

Molly looked to Hannah, her eyes were still wide with shock. "Why are the..."

Sophie interrupted Molly as she yelled out over the loud music. "They have 21 and up gig at Irish pubs and bars when they tour the U.S. and Canada, we thought it might be fun to go. We see enough of them at work, after all, maybe their adult shows aren't so bad. Oh don't look so put out, it's going to be fun! They sing Irish and Scottish Folk music from what I understand."

"But the damn Wiggles?" Molly asked, in exasperation. That's where she'd seen Lachy before. She'd seen him almost daily on the classroom TV for 30 minutes before the toddlers went down for their nap. The same man on stage, singing the first few lines of Loch Lomond was the same man who pretended to fall asleep in the most random places on her toddlers' favorite tv show.

"Well, their band is called the Unusual Commoners. But yes, three of them, at least are Wiggles." Hannah replied with a snorted laugh. "What, you didn't recognize him earlier?"

Molly's eyes widened again as the girls continued with their giggles. "You look shocked...We saw you step out with him, and no, we didn't think you knew who he was...You should get his number, he's a cutie." Sophie teased. Her words were slurred a bit, which told Molly she'd probably already had more than enough alcohol for the night.

Molly rolled her eyes and sipped her drink. She didn't dignify that comment with a response as she turned her attention back to the stage where the man she'd just spent almost an hour with was singing his heart out and playing the hell out of a guitar. She had to admit, he was good, very good.

"For a Wiggle." She murmured with a small smile as she settled in her chair to enjoy the rest of the set.

[carmenlire]

My heart breaks every time you talk about ypur sexuality. You shouldn't have to feel like ypu need to hide an important part of yourself around friends and family. You should be loved regardless of whether you want to spend the rest of your life with a man or a woman or someone in between. I am angry at the world around you for making you feel like your sexuality somehow isn't okay. I'm glad you deal with it through your writing but I wish you didn't need to. I love you, just the way you are.

I want you to know that I’ve read this message like half a dozen times since you sent it yesterday and it just makes me very emotional. Thank you for taking the time to send this really lovely, kind, sweet message. It means the entire fucking world and I appreciate it so, so much.

Now, I wrote quite a bit so I have a read more tag. I hope this isn’t too annoying!

My family is better than some, of course. I don’t think that they would disown me or hurt me. However, it would change things irrevocably and they would look down on me, think me less. I’ve heard the things they’ve said. Sometimes they are all I hear. It is far easier for everyone concerned if I never tell them. So, I will keep packing away all those tiny signs that I am not straight when they visit my apartment and lie when they ask questions that are uncomfortably close to the truth they wouldn’t be able to handle. It is what it is and so it doesn’t really matter that much. I’m just glad that I do have my own place– I felt so stifled in the winter and early spring living with them while I was carrying that.

As for my friends, it’s the same thing lol. They would still accept me– and I don’t really think that it would change anything but– I’m afraid. There would be an adjustment period and it’s that ephemeral feeling like I’m disappointing them– like I should apologize for no longer (did I ever?) fitting in the box that they put me in. Though, honestly, they’d be fools not to pick up the clues that I’ve been throwing out. It’s getting damned hard to keep everything under wraps now that I am becoming accustomed to it and am starting to actually embrace my sexuality.

Thank God for my writing lol. I’ve journaled for damn near a decade but I never knew that writing fiction– using characters and settings that I was already familiar with– could be so therapeutic to get my emotions and thoughts and feelings out there. I use it in a couple of areas and I’m very grateful that I have that outlet.

This is an outlet, too. everyone on tumblr knows (how could they not) and it’s nice to have a forum that I can just yell about being gay and know that no one cares– and quite a lot of people are in the same boat lmao. Twitter, too, is getting to be the same. I’m starting to give much less of a fuck lol.

I’m much better than I was six months ago and much, much better than I was last year or the years before that. I’ve had pretty blatant signs that I was Not Straight for a few years now but I always ignored it or explained it away. I was drinking pretty heavily last winter when the thoughts and confusion were eating away at me. I spent like every waking moment making lists and looking shit up and just generally obsessing over what I was. I eventually had to admit to myself what I was feeling, though, and it helped that my best friend was literally going through the journey. She was (is, always) my rock and I love her so much for always being there and accepting me and being someone who I could talk things through with.

As you probably know, I have days when I am elated that I am gay, that I’m a lesbian. Loving girls is pure and lovely and makes my heart sing. There are days, honestly, when I question it and agonize over it, and hate it, just a little (maybe a lot). I have my family and religion in my ear and it’s just all around very difficult sometimes.

But, it’s getting better. I’m getting better at working through things and it’s a combination of time– Since February, when I officially came out to pumpkin I am So much better. Plus, I have friends on here and twitter that are just the absolute best.

I know this turned into a very long message and I’m sorry if this isn’t what you wanted but I just kinda rambled about everything lol (it has been A Day). Thank you for caring and wanting my world to change. I’ve accepted it, though. If I have anything to say about it, my family will never know. It might be a little bit before I tell my friends– though I have come close a time or two. They just are always talking about boys and who they want to set me up with. It’s disheartening for me– throws everything into stark relief– but I don’t want to ruin something so innocent. 

I have a lot of issues– a lot of insecurity and doubt. Sometimes, I just need to get the fuck out of my head. But, I’m better. I am gay. I could see myself loving a girl– the thought of it actually makes me really, really happy and content and warm. It’s turned into a comfort, the image of a girlfriend, when a year ago I refused to let myself even contemplate such a future.

Again, just thank you so so incredibly much for this message. It means the absolute world and I’ve teared up every time I’ve read this lol. It’s bolstering to know that there are people like you who would accept me, that not everyone is my parents or sister or family in general. Thank you

[jaechanartz]

My Bodyguard is a Ninja? (Sonic x Reader) - Chapter 2

Story so far: You were desperately searching for the piano score you planned to use for your upcoming piano recital. This search led you to meet Sonic, the new bodyguard that your father Zeniru hired. The kind gentlemen returned your score. When you returned to your room, you admired his charm and his mysterious vibes, and then suddenly wondered if you were starting to fall for him, but then you realised how stupid that sounded.

Chapter 2 - Getting to Know Him Just a Little Bit

Having Sonic as our new bodyguard has gone quite well so far. He seems to take his job very seriously, even going so far as to refuse my father's offers for a drink while he was working, only ever accepting tea or water. "No, thank you. I don't drink." he always says even when my father asks him in earnest. "When it comes to my job,  I don't overstep the professional line. I hope you can understand. Drinking was not part of our contract." The first time he said that, my father stood there confused. Was he being serious or making a joke? Even I am not so sure myself whether or not he means it or not at times. But he doesn't make a joke out of his professional status, that I am absolutely certain of.

Other than that, things turned out OK. I'll admit I'm still not great with interacting with men, but oddly enough, I'm starting to find it easier to talk to Sonic little by little. Whenever I walk into a room he's in, his grey eyes are immediately on me, and I don't even realise he's there until I hear his voice and see him sitting at a window sill in the room with his arms folded. He greets me in the same way every time: calm and collected voice, even with the occasional smile. Even offers to help me with something, or checks if I'm okay.

"Good morning, (Y/N)."

"Good evening, (Y/N). What are you doing up so late? Is something wrong?"

"Hello. What are you doing in here, (Y/N)?"

"Is something wrong, (Y/N)? You look like something is bothering you."

"Did you lose something in here, (Y/N)? I'd be more than happy to help if you need it."

At first, I was a little nervous. I often responded in a way that left him looking at me in a confused frown. As if to ask me "What's with you? Are you afraid of me or something?" I always used to reassure him that I was fine, that everything was OK, even when it wasn't even true. But now, I'm slowly starting to get used to him being around. He's pretty good at finding things, so I always try to ask him for help if I need it.  I've even found the confidence to ask him questions about his experience.

"Have you worked as a bodyguard before?"

"What do you like to do in your spare time?"

"What made you decide to become a bodyguard, Sonic?"

These kind of questions he'd answer with ease, he'd even slip in a little story or even a small joke to amuse me. But questions like "How did my father know about you?" he'd answer differently. His smile would drop, he tends to look out the window away from me and say, "I can't tell you, (Y/N). Sorry." It's disappointing but I can understand where he's coming from. My father has his private business, doing certain things that I am pretty much forbidden to interfere with, so it would be wrong to try and force it out of Sonic. My mother used to tell me when I was little that there's always a reason to hide something, and my father's main reason is to protect me. I always left it at that and didn't pry into things any further. Even now that I'm twenty-one years old, I still believe that my father is protecting me. Not everybody out there favours us. Being the daughter of a multi-billionaire is great and all, but it also comes with the risk of walking around with a target on you back if you're not careful. If I pry into stuff I shouldn't be, or I say the wrong thing aloud in public where anyone could hear me, even if it was accidental, it could easily put me or my family in danger, which is probably why my father decided to hire Sonic.  Not just to protect me, but my family. Well, more like my family's reputation, but my father would do anything to make sure I'm safe. 

Which was what I am able to confirm today, the night before my piano recital. I'm trying on my outfit for the big night in the mirror: a pure white dress that goes down to my ankles. My father bought it especially for me - he always buys me new outfits for my performances. I asked Sonic if he wanted to see earlier that day, and just a few moments later, he knocks on the door and lets himself in. He stops when he sees me in the dress, and suddenly I'm smiling. 

"Well, what do you think, Sonic? Pretty, right?" I laugh, giving a twirl. 

"It's...it looks good on you, beautiful even." he simply replied. 

"I know, right? My father bought it for me! It's so pretty. I honestly feel like I'm getting married."

He laughs like it's a joke. It was slightly intended to be one, but it was an honest emotion that I feel. The he composes himself. 

"(Y/N)."

"Yes?"

"Why did you ask me if I wanted to see you wearing this?" he asks. He goes down on one knee running his fingers over the skirt of the dress, feeling the silk material. 

"Oh, um..." I hesitate. I feel my face growing warm. "I-I just...I just wanted you to be the first to see me like this, before everyone else does tomorrow night..."

His grey eyes blink up at me. Do I really mean that? Yeah, I think so. I wanted him to know that I wanted him to see me wearing the dress first. He's going to be seated at the back of the auditorium with my father. It could be hard for him to see me on the stage from the distance. I would be like a miniature doll, just too small to see clearly. Having him see me up close now would be advantageous for him. 

"Actually, about tomorrow..." he started. 

I look down at him. 

"Your father asked me something about it."

"Huh? What was it?" 

"Well..."

My father asked Sonic something about tomorrow night? Would he not be allowed to come and watch me play? Does he have to stay and guard the home? No, that wouldn't be fair. There's a part of me that wants him to watch me perform so bad, even if I don't know if I like him or not. I don't want him to miss out. 

"Y-yeah?"

He stands up formally and looks into my eyes. I find myself lost those grey eyes of his. 

"He asked me to be your personal guard and escort for the night." 

[guttersvillemayor]

A Way Less Sad Happy Ending

[Saying goodbye to Pedro left me feeling like I never wanted to get out of bed, but as usual, life had different plans for me and even if I wanted to do that, I couldn’t. Despite having just been for an ultrasound the day Pedro randomly showed up in Fairhope, the following Monday I got a call from my doctor that she wanted me to come back in. I tried not to worry and convinced myself that it was normal for her to want me to come back and talk about the ultrasound. She hadn’t been there when it happened due to another patient going into labor that day. However, I never could have expected the reason why she really wanted me to come in. Then again, considering the father, I shouldn't have been surprised. It seemed she noticed something off about my results and wanted to do it again herself to confirm as suspicious she had. And that suspicion was that I didn’t just have one bun in the oven but two. Twins! Another reason I shouldn’t have been surprised by this news is that twins slightly ran in my family with my elder brothers being twins, not to mention my father and my aunt being twins as well. Still I felt bowled over when she announced the discovery of my second Sweat Pea. It also meant that I couldn’t run from my family any more. Now more than ever I would need their help.

With the help of Dahlia and Reba, a family meeting was called back in New Orleans and with enough anxiety to make me feel like I was never going to keep anything down even if I wasn’t pregnant, I told my family that not only was I pregnant by a man who would no longer be in my life but that it was twins. It was clear that my amazing sisters softened the ground with some of my older brothers and thankfully Jude and Jesse weren’t likely to judge me as my younger brothers. However, the look on my parents’ faces made me feel like a disappointment and the hurt and shock on Jonah and Wendy’s face only made me feel even more shitty. The few weeks after that were definitely rough and I was very thankful to have Dahlia and Jasper offer me their spare bedroom while I tried to work things out with my parents at least. My friendship with Wendy had definitely been changed for good. The part of me that was so close to her as a child mourned that loss, but the adult in me realized that it was never going to be the same once she was with Jonah and it was only going to further cause problems when she became my sister-in-law if we didn’t acknowledge that the relationship between us had irrevocably shifted. Once I felt on a better footing with my family, I wanted to return to the beach house for some solitude and prepare for the huge change my life was taking.

However, my family rightly worried about me being so far away on my own while pregnant with twins. It wasn’t until Jesse came and told me that he had worked it out with his boss at the piano bar and landlord to take some time off and temporarily move with me to Point Clear, that I was able to go back to my haven on the water. Of course, different members of the family would pop in and out to visit me and spend time in the house that was meant for family vacations as the spring and summer months passed. There would be days that I would wake up marvelling in the two lives growing inside of me, at what our lives would be together, at the feeling of having something of peace and home that I’d been searching for all this time. And then there were other days when I felt like I couldn’t leave my bed, where I was drowning in my tears, when JD had to call Dahlia and/or Reba or even my mother to Alabama to help me. It was in these darkest moments when I missed Pedro and contemplated ruining everything that I had sacrificed and his own life by telling him about our children. Never more so than after ultrasounds when I would see them or hear their heartbeats or the first day I felt them flutter in my belly. The sobs overwhelming me and crushing me, not to mention probably scaring the shit out of poor JD. It was these low moments that made me realize I needed to agree with my parents’ request to move back to their home in New Orleans as it got closer to my due date. The fear that I would fail my children allowed me to get over the embarrassment and wounded pride of needing to ask my parents for help.

The decision definitely was the right one as we were able to figure out a situation that worked for all of us before I started nesting. It was decided that the bottom floor of their home would become my de facto home with my own privacy from the second floor which would be theirs. Yet, the closeness would allow them to help me take care of my precious twins when they came. Who knew how long this arrangement would work out for me, my parents and the twins… but for the moment, I had a plan and a path forward. Throughout the pregnancy, I spent my time working on a photography book covering my travels, although I wished I had been able to cover the eastern half of the country, I considered this book almost a love note to my little Sweet Peas and the journey I had gone through with their father to get to the point of having them in my life. So it made sense somehow that in the middle of the night after having sent my rough draft to a publisher, I awoke with some serious back pain and did my best to get out of bed before giving up and calling out to Jesse in the family room, hoping he’d spent the night on the couch like he’d mentioned earlier. Used to needing my help at random times, my youngest brother walked in clearly still half-asleep and disheveled but more than willing to give me a hand even after having spent the day doing stuff around the house for me.

It’s not until he hears me give a slight cry out that he seems to truly wake up. His hand reach out for the walkie-talkie next to my bed that has been utilized for communication between me and my parents when I moved in. “Um, Mom, I think something is wrong with EJ. She’s clearly in pain.” My words frustrated and pained as I grumble.] When am I not in pain these days thanks to me being the size of a motherfucking hippo. [As if having heard the commotion in my room, Dahlia and Jasper appear in the doorway and it must be the confusion on my face that prompts my eldest brother to answer my unasked question. “We were here late talking with Mom and Dad and just decided to spend the night here with the kids.” Before I can think of anything to say, another horrible pain grips me and Dahlia reaches out for my hand to help me breathe through them. The look between her and Jasper has me fearing that this is more than just the Braxton-Hicks I’d experienced a few times. And I’m not the only one who picks up on the silent communication as my younger brother gives a slight laugh, which I’ll admit pissed me off more than it normally would. “Hey, what are the odds of you having your twins on Friday the 13th?” Realizing what Jesse meant, my eyes go wide and I turn to Dahlia almost in a panic.] You don’t think my bad luck is going to get passed to the twins, do you?

[Jasper is unable to stop himself from snort-laughing, despite the glare Dahlia sends his way before turning her gaze to me attempting to calm me down. “No, Ems. First off, I don’t think you have bad luck as you’ve been blessed with two little ones so if anything you have amazing luck. But the only thing you’ll be passing on to those twins are some beautiful genes and maybe some questionable Mosby habits.” This gets me to chuckle a little bit before I have to bite back a groan from another contraction. My parents now joining the party as I can feel my mother’s warm hand rubbing my aching back. “Hey baby, it sounds like you’re having an eventful night.”] Yeah, I thought why wait for the sun when it’s much more fun to have a late-night rave. What time is it anyway? [I’d been starting to fall asleep at random times and earlier than I’d ever imagined possible before getting pregnant. “You crashed some time around 9, I think. You did keep waking up throughout the night...” My younger brother starts to explain as my father politely escorts him out of my room to give me some space with Dahlia and my mom. “It’s just a little after 5 as Jasper and I fell asleep about 1 or so ourselves.” I groan this time not from a contraction but from guilt at keeping them from their rest. Dahlia’s lips quirk and I know she’s trying to keep from laughing at me.

“It’s okay, Ems. I wouldn’t be able to sleep through this nor would I want to. Jasper will no doubt go lay down with the kids if not Jesse. Now why don’t we change you into some different clothes before heading for the hospital.” Her gaze flickering between me and my mother as if not wanting to take control from either of us but knowing how much I’ve depended on her throughout this pregnancy. If we hadn’t been like sisters before this, we sure as hell were now.] That might be a good idea as I’m pretty sure I just peed myself. [The words are said with a mirthless chuckle which invites a chuckle from both my mother and Dahlia. “Oh sweetie, that’s probably just your water breaking.” I glance towards my mother hopeful because I didn’t like the idea that I couldn’t control my bladder no matter how much people wouldn’t hold it against me cause I was in labor. “We’ve got the car and go-bag on standby when you ladies are ready to go.” My father’s voice comes floating through the door and I hear my mother reply back to him that we’d be out soon while Dahlia helps me out of my pajamas. I won’t lie that I took the opportunity to wear a lot of sweats and baggy clothes when it came to my maternity wardrobe, but I’d never been more glad for that decision than while trying to dress while in the middle of contractions.

It takes a little bit, but eventually we join my dad and Jasper in the family room and we all seem to look around at one another before I release a bit of a mix between a sigh and a chuckle.] Alrighty folks, we better get this show on the road before I have these kids right here. [“Yeah, I’d rather not see that, EJ.” Jesse quips as he walks over to me from the second bedroom door. His arms attempt to come around me in a loose hug as he whispers. “I’ll see you and those kiddos in a few hours. Don’t do anything crazy until then, okay?” A few tears fall from my eyes and I give him a tired smile.] Will do, broham. Give our niece and nephew a good morning kiss from me and their soon-to-be-cousins, please. [He nods and walks off to the bedroom with Jasper, no doubt being given instructions about what to do if he or Dahlia are needed. Somehow we are both quick and yet slow to get out into the vehicles. My dad and Jasper in the front seats while Dahlia and my mom sit in the back with me. Thankfully the drive to the hospital isn’t that long or I’d have started to feel claustrophobic on top of being in pain from the sheer fact that a woman pregnant with twins shouldn’t be squeezed between two other women in a compact SUV.

I want to say that I remember a lot more from my labor, but honestly beyond the pain and sudden fear of being a horrible mother and once more feeling the overwhelming sadness and guilt over Pedro not being there for the birth of his children, I don’t remember much. Of course, Dahlia and my mom were there with me through it all until at last I heard the cries of my children entering this world. The emotion almost knocking the breath out of me more so than the continued contractions. In the end, I was present with my beloved Sweet Peas. A boy and a girl. The fraternal twins resting on my chest as my family was finally able to join me back in my hospital room. “Took you long enough, sis.” The smile on JD’s face belying his words. We'd last seen each other more than 24 hours ago. Visitation keeping everybody by my parents away through the night after I’d finished delivering the twins.] Good morning to you too, Uncle Jesse. [He reaches out for my son and brushes a soft finger over his cheek. “You did good, Emma.” Before he can say anything else, the rest of my brothers arrive trying not to be too loud and wake the sleeping babies.] Looks like the gang’s all here. [I chuckle softly and watch as Jasper and Dahlia help their children, Abigail and Arthur sit on their laps close enough to see the babies without disturbing them or me on the bed. Arthur making a comment about how small his cousins are which has his mother chuckling and explaining that he was that small once himself.] Would you like to meet them, Artie? [His head bobbing enthusiastically as I pull back the caps so he can better see the twins from his seat.]

This lovely lady here is Gemma Aster and she was born at 11:11pm, and this gorgeous guy is Solomon Pedro. He’s a little younger than his big sister coming out at 11:30 on the dot. [“Pedro?” Reba glances over to share a look with Dahlia, who clearly didn’t mean to ask that question out loud. All this time I hadn’t shared who the twin’s father was with my family out of respect for both his life choice and because the pain had always felt so fresh just under the surface. But I knew when I was thinking up baby names that I wanted my children to have something of their father. The question intrigues the rest of my family and I simply nod my head as I brush a soft finger over Sol’s baby hair. My eyes never leaving his angelic face.] Yes, Pedro for his father. [The adults in the room seem to take a moment to process this new piece of information while Abbie and Artie are more interested in seeing more of their cousins. “When will they be able to play, Aunt Emma?” “They are still babies, Artie!” Before this can delve into an argument between the two siblings, Dahlia quickly leads them both away from my bedside with a playful roll of her eyes my way, a smile, and a motion of her head towards my family.]

Would anyone like to hold them? [And just like that, my words seem to bring them back to the present and spur them into action as my brothers almost fight over one another about who gets to hold the twins first. The sight of my family, who I’d worried about accepting my pregnancy at the beginning of the year, falling over themselves to spoil my children with their love causes me to start crying and it takes both my parents hugging me from either side to help me calm down enough to enjoy watching my brothers get to know their new niece and nephew. I didn’t know what else the future had in store for us, but I knew as long as I had Gemma and Sol by my side along with my family, things would be okay because my children were my life, my heart and my home.]