#i have time tomorrow and i can go to church tomorrow night which i am So Excited about because i haven’t been able to go yet

[janeyseymour]

I Wouldn't Tell Anyone

based off of that tiktok trend: "i wouldn't tell anyone i won the lottery, but there'd be signs".

WC: ~2.75k

Melissa Schemmenti has worked at Willard R. Abbott Elementary School for years. And in those years, the one constant in her life has been Barbara Howard. The two had started the same year, and while many things have changed, their friendship would never. No, Melissa had watched as Barbara married Gerald, witnessed the woman’s growing belly as she carried both of her daughters, had seen the ups and downs in the Howard family. And likewise, Barbara had been there to see the marriage to Joe, the divorce of Joe, the lean years… and everything in between. They’ve seen the way that teachers come and go, children grow up before their very eyes, and at this point they’ve taught children of students that they had in the starting years. Teaching practices have grown and changed- it’s really an ever-evolving world that they live in.

The second grade teacher had a solid wardrobe that she kept in rotation over the years- really just a few blazers, her signature leather jacket, the same shirt in various colors, a few pairs of slacks and jeans, and of course her heeled boots that she wore everyday without fail.

“Melissa,” Barbara had asked one day. “Perhaps you and I should hit the mall? I know some great places that have wonderful clearance sections.”

“Are you tellin’ me I need to change out my wardrobe?” the redhead teased as she threw her bag over her shoulder.

“You know that is not what I am saying, woman,” Barb rolled her eyes. “But I see the way that your shirts are starting to wear thin. I also need an outfit for the end of the year banquet that this damned superintendent is forcing me to go to.”

“When you’re part of a committee, you have to go to that kind of stuff,” the second grade teacher had smirked. “Why you think I ain’t a part of all that?”

Even after the two of them hit it off, going to the mall whenever they found themselves with enough money to spare to treat themselves to a shopping spree, Melissa’s outfits still mostly circulate without fail. 

Years pass, and then she meets you one night while she’s out at the bar. She walks in, and you’re captivated. You don’t know what draws you to her, but whatever it is is magical. Your eyes hardly leave her stunning figure as she dances. You know that by the end of the night, you have to at least attempt to make a move on her.

And you do when she decides to take a break from dancing to come over to the bar. Conveniently, the only opening is by where you’re sitting and nursing a margarita.

By some grace of God, she’s been watching you too- trying to figure out how to start a conversation with you over the loud music and people dancing all around you.

She saunters up to the spot that you’re at and smiles at you. Wow… her smile is radiant.

“How come a pretty girl like you ain’t out there dancing with someone?”

“Just came here after a hard day at work,” you shrug. “Wanted a marg, thought maybe the music and drinks would brighten my spirit.”

“Well, you got the marg,” she gestures to your half empty glass. “Why don’t I buy you another, and then we can listen to the music together?”

“I’m sure you have friends here that wouldn’t want me crashing.”

“I’m here alone,” the redhead reveals. “The name’s Melissa. And you are?”

“Y/N,” you tell her.

“Well, Y/N, why don’t you let me buy you a drink, and we can be alone… together.”

You end up getting her number as you part ways for the night, and simply text her when you get home that night, time and place.

She’s just walked into her own house when your text comes through. How does Renata’s Kitchen at 5:30 on Tuesday sound?

I have to wait tomorrow and Monday to see you?

I mean, I could grab a coffee tomorrow after church if you’d rather that, the redheaded beauty sends.

You send her the address of your favorite coffee place, which just so happens to be hers as well. You wonder if the two of you have ever run into each other and just not known it at the time.

The outing for coffee ends up being an entire day’s worth of just walking around the city together as you chat about life. You find out that she’s a second grade teacher at one of the local schools and that she has Sunday dinners with her family every week (that is actually the only reason she has to regretfully leave you that day) among many other things. She finds out that you work for one of the local law firms down the street from Abbott, ironically enough. How have the two of you never bumped into each other, or at least seen each other? You get to your place of work at the same time as she does, you’ve both gone down to the same Wawa at the same time for lunch because your lunch hours coincide, and she quite literally walks past your firm to get to happy hour specials with her coworkers.

Once she leaves you to head to her family dinner, she texts you to let you know that she would still love to do dinner with you on Tuesday. You excitedly reply that you would be absolutely delighted. 

The two of you have been going out for quite some time now, and it’s quite funny that you’ve both kept it on the down low. You’re a bit concerned that while courtrooms have progressed with society that if your relationship were to become public, it could get in the way of cases. And she, similarly is nervous that she could face backlash at the school she works for for being in a homosexual relationship. So, neither of you have said anything to your coworkers. And it’s all going swimmingly. While you had both just stumbled upon each other one night at the bar, not expecting to find each other, here you are two years later as a happy couple.

You land the case of a lifetime, one where you could make a decent profit off of your already relatively high paying salary. On top of that, you know that you’re about to be promoted after working with this firm for the last five years.

You end up winning the case, bringing in some good money, and then you’re moving up the ladder and finding yourself with more cash outflow than you know what to do with at the moment. It’s too much for you, living in a small apartment in the city by yourself with nothing else to worry about. So, when your girlfriend comes over to your apartment for dinner, you propose something.

“Mel?” you ask as she stands at your stovetop. She hums to let you know that she’s listening, but her eyes stay trained on the vegetables that she’s chopping right now. “How would you feel if we moved in together?”

The sound of the knife hitting the cutting board halts, and she turns to face you. “What?”

“We’ve been together for almost two years,” you tell her. “I just got that nice promotion, plus a huge payout from the settlement with DuBoise, so… I was thinking maybe we could move in together? Find a nice townhouse somewhere in the city and settle into our lives together?”

About a million emotions flicker through the redhead’s face before it settles on a smile. “I think that might be a good idea.”

So, after months of looking, you both say goodbye to your small apartments and are able to move into a beautiful townhouse in Queen Village. When Melissa files the paperwork to change her address for paychecks, Ava comes flying into the staff lounge with her eyes nearly bulging out of her head.

“Uh, ahem,” the principal coughs out and raises her brows, waving the paperwork in front of the second grade teacher during lunch.

“What?” your girlfriend grumbles as she grades a few papers and shoves a forkful of her salad into her mouth.

“Since when did you move?”

“A couple of weeks ago,” Melissa shrugs.

Barbara’s brows furrow. She wasn’t aware her friend was moving house. “Oh, Melissa. Could you not afford the place anymore?”

“Girl, she upgraded big time! Went from living in the slums to a three bedroom townhouse in Queen Village!”

“Queen Village?” the kindergarten teacher repeats.

Again, the redhead just shrugs.

“Melissa, how did you manage that? I know what you make, and there is no way you could afford to live somewhere like that!” Janine cuts in.

“Can it, pipsqueak,” Melissa rolls her eyes. “Let’s just say… I have my ways.”

Nobody is brave enough to ask the mob-like woman what the hell that could even mean.

“Well, when do we get to see the place?” Jacob tries to invite himself over.

Green eyes glare over at the man. “If I can help it, never.”

“Oh c’mon, Mel Mel,” Jacobs whines out. “I lived with you at one point! Why can’t we come see your new place?”

“At the time, I did not know it was you,” the redhead huffs. “And then you moved out on me.”

“Because I found 

The second grade teacher blows out a breath. “Maybe once I have it all furnished and put together.”

So, once the two of you have the place put together for the most part, the Abbott clan makes their way over while you’re out of town for a convention that you were forced to go to.

To say that the crew is beyond impressed is an understatement.

“Melissa, this is beautiful,” Barbara compliments.

“How? How?” is all Jacob and Janine can stutter out.

The redhead just smirks. “I know a guy.”

They leave not knowing that the guy that she knows is you- her girlfriend of almost two and a half years at this point. And because it’s you, and you have an unwavering love for Melissa, the house is impeccable and everything she could ever want it to. You take good care of her.

Since moving in together, Melissa’s meals have only become more extravagant. With both of your finances almost entirely combined at this point, you spoil her with the best foods and ingredients that you can get her at any moment. So when she comes into the staff room with way fancier dishes for her lunch, it raises a few eyebrows. The teachers have seen Melissa stretch a dollar like a big headed baby stretches a… the redhead smirks.

“I know a guy,” is all she offers up.

The eyebrows of her coworkers only creep further up her head when she comes in with leftovers from one of the nicest restaurants in the city- a place known nationally for the delicate dishes and absolutely delectable desserts.

She’s eating the extra slice of cheesecake the two of you had brought home when Janine leans over. “How’d you get that?”

“I know a guy.”

“You sure seem to know a lot of guys.”

They have no idea that there are not multiple people- you are almost singlehandedly responsible for the lavish lifestyle that your girlfriend suddenly leads. 

Somehow, Melissa is forced to go to one of the banquet dinners that the district is holding because she’s hit a milestone in her teaching, and they’re highlighting her. So, of course Barb offers to go with her to try to find something nice to wear to the dinner that she too will be attending.

“Oh, I think I actually have an outfit,” the redhead refutes the offer. “But thank you.”

“Girl, you never turn down an opportunity to go out shopping,” the kindergarten teacher raises a brow.

“I just… know a guy that already bought me an outfit.”

Melissa shows up to the event looking like a million bucks, and Barbara almost can’t believe it. The redhead’s hair is curled to perfection, the dress that she’s in has clearly been tailored to accentuate all of her curves and to be the proper length. The shoes that she’s wearing are not the black heeled boots Barbara is so used to seeing her work wife wear- no, instead she’s got on a pair of heels that have to be at least two hundred dollars if the kindergarten teacher had to guess. 

Of course, their picture gets snapped and is posted to the school website a few days later. 

At lunch, while Janine is eating and on her laptop, her eyes go wide. “Melissa!”

“What?”

“You looked beautiful the other night!”

“Thanks, kid.”

“How did you get all of that?”

“I know a guy.”

Jacob moves his chair so he too can get a look.

“Melissa, that is…” he thinks to himself quietly. “At least a six hundred dollar look! For a school event? Girl, where are you getting all of this stuff?!”

“I told youse, I know a guy.”

It’s a weekend when the Abbott crew decides to get together, and they all have plans to go to Barbara’s house for game night, but Gerald gets sick and they can no longer use the Howard residence.

“Well, I guess we should cancel,” Melissa sighs as they’re all leaving the school that day.

“What if we just came to your place?” the kindergarten teacher asks. “It’s the only other space big enough to accommodate us all.”

Begrudgingly, the second grade teacher agrees. As everyone is on their way over, she calls you.

“Hello?”

“Hey hun,” she says softly. “So… change in plans for tonight.”

“Oh? Do I get you all to myself tonight?”

“Not exactly…” the redhead trails off. “We’re moving game night to our house.”

“Oh,” you say softly, your face dropping as you thumb through papers in your office.

“Yeah,” she hums.

“I mean, I guess I can go out to dinner with my mom or something to pass the-”

“What if we just… came out? At least just to the crew,” your girlfriend suggests quietly.

You mull that option over for a few seconds. “Y-yeah. If you’re ready for that.”

“I am if you are.”

“I can pick up dinner,” you tell her. “I should be out of here by 5:30, and then I can head over to grab some food before coming home.”

“There’s…” she counts in her head. “eight of us.”

“Eight?”

“Somehow Mr. J wormed himself into this get together,” Melissa laughs softly. “Something about getting the band back together- whatever the hell that means. 

Once you’re free from work, you head over to one of the nicer restaurants in the city, and because you and Melissa have become frequent flyers there, they’re able to oblige your request for a few trays of food. You leave a generous tip before packing the food into your car and making your way back to your townhouse. 

Upon pulling in, you take a few deep breaths before gathering your briefcase and the food and making your way to the door.

When you push it open, all eyes are on you.

“Hey,” you sigh as you kick off your shoes and head for the kitchen table to put down all the food.

“Melissa, you didn’t tell us you have a roommate, never mind a hot one!” Ava grins.

The redhead just rolls her eyes before glaring. That glare is gone though once you make your way back into the living room and sit down next to your girlfriend.

“Hey babe,” you smile at her before kissing her cheek softly.

“Babe?” Barbara’s eyes go wide. “Melissa Ann, do you have a girlfriend?”

The redhead just smirks. “Oh, did I not mention that I am happily in a relationship and have been for two and a half years?”

“Wait a minute,” Mr. Johnson furrows his brows and looks you over. “Ain’t you one of those fancy lawyers that works at the firm down the street from Abbott?”

You nod. “Hi. I’m Y/N.” You cordially shake everybody’s hand with a kind smile.

“Wait,” Janine pieces it all together. “Is this why you moved and could afford this place? Why your meals have gotten a lot fancier, and how you could afford the clothes you wore to the dinner the other night?”

Melissa just nods. “I guess you could say… I won the lottery with this one.”

TAGS: @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @thesamesweetie @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @gwennybriggs @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @sapphicxrat @a-queen-and-her-throne @sunsol-22 @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld

[study-with-aura]

Saturday, July 6, 2024

All of my new school supplies came in today! It was actually only the calculator and the erasable gel pens, which I really love! Thank you to whoever it was that recommended them to me several months ago! I also love the new calculator, except the manual is in Chinese. I'm sure I can figure it out, but if not, Dad can also read it fluently, so I can ask him if I get stuck on how to change modes or whatever.

I will be heading to my environmental science camp after church tomorrow, so I will be gone again until at least Friday. More than likely, like last time, I will post on Saturday since I am sure I will be tired after unpacking and studying a little.

I have one week of work left of the theory course I am taking. Thus far it has been interesting. I love all of the analyses that the professor does. I struggle with that still. My piano teacher is glad that I've started studying for the harmony and counterpoint exam already. It is going to be a tough one!

We had a lot of fun out on the lake today. We took the boat out, and while Dad and Julien did some fishing, Mom and I enjoyed lying out (with lots and lots of sunscreen). I also went swimming at the beach and went waterskiing with some friends we met up with out there. I'm getting better at it!

It's past my bedtime, but I was up until midnight on the 4th. The fireworks got over around 10pm but then there was traffic and the drive back home, and I needed to shower after being out in the sun during the day and around a lot of people. The fireworks were beautiful over the water, and we had a lot of fun at the concerts before the fireworks. I also got queso asado street tacos for dinner! They were so good! I love food trucks when we're in the main city for fun events like this. They always have something yummy.

Good night everyone! Have a great next week, and I will update again probably on Saturday! 🌱🌞

Tasks Completed:

History 9 - Learned classical music forms and genres + studied ternary form + studied sonata-allegro form through Mozart's Eine kleine Nachtmusik

Theory - Studied 2-voice counterpoint + completed self-assessment

KA GRF Algebra 2 - Completed Unit 1: Lesson 9 (review of factoring quadratics with perfect squares)

Duolingo - Studied for approximately 30 minutes (Spanish + French + Chinese) + completed daily quests

Piano - 60-minute piano lesson + practiced for one hour

Reading - Read pages 223-258 of Lumara by Melissa Landers and finished the book

Chores - Cleaned refrigerator, stove and kitchen counters + put away groceries

Activities of the Day:

Personal Bible Study (Luke 1 + week 20 reflections)

Morning Yoga

Went to the lake with family

Packed

Journal/Mindfulness

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: [Blind Love] Epilogue

Chapter 25

♡———♡

For him, love is fleeting, and everyday life is fragile.

So, every day, every second, I carve it into my heart and body, and hold it dear.

---That is how I love my dear illusion.

Kate: Roger, I found an interesting note in this church's records.

Roger: Hmm? Which one? Let me see.

I occasionally visit the basement like this to continue my joint research with Roger on the "mirror curse."

In addition to reading through materials, we also narrow down places and people to conduct interviews.

(Alfons is...ah, he's asleep.)

Even though he doesn't cooperate with the research, Alfons always comes along for some reason, and he spends his time freely playing with lab equipment, reading books, or sleeping on the examination bed.

Roger: Al, lend me your arm for a bit.

Alfons: Eh...? ...No. You're going to draw blood again, aren't you? Are you that fond of my blood, you pervert?

Roger: Yeah, I am. It's a valuable sample for monitoring the progress of the transfusion.

Although he makes a grumpy face, he does cooperate with the research about once every ten times.

(He's like a fickle cat.)

Encouraged by Alfons's profile, I turned back to the materials.

To remember his profile, this time, because he is cursed by the "mirror."

-

Kate: Thank you again for accompanying me today.

Alfons: You're welcome. Thank you for your hard work on the research, even though we haven't made any progress yet.

Kate: Hehe, I'll make sure we get results eventually, so don't worry.

Alfons: Yes, yes, I'm looking forward to it.

(Ah...again.)

Alfons sometimes looks at me like this, with his eyes narrowed as if he's dazzled.

(I love this look...it's like he's trying to burn me into his memory.)

I feel like Alfons is trying to carve me into his heart and body, just as much as I'm trying to do the same with him.

It's becoming my happy habit to look for the "truth" in Alfons' subtle gestures, since he rarely says "I love you" or "I like you" in words.

Alfons: Oh, by the way, Kate.

Kate: Yes...?

Alfons: I'm going out tonight. I won't be back until morning, so please go to sleep first.

Where are you going? - I desperately held back the urge to ask.

**flashback**

Alfons: I'm afraid I can't stop going out at night. It's my hobby, my pleasure, and my life's work.

Alfons: Going out drinking, showing illusions… but

Alfons: I want to try to love you properly, so

Alfons: I won’t do that with anyone other than you… no kissing, no caressing, no sex.

**flashback over**

I haven't yet followed him to confirm his "only me" statement.

(Because I believe the words Alfons gave me...)

When he goes out at night, my head is filled with thoughts of him.

But even the time I spend like that at night is proof that Alfons is deeply engraved in me, so it's precious to me.

Kate: ...I understand. Have a good time.

Alfons: Ah ha! Don't make such an obviously lonely face.

Kate: Huh? I'm not lonely, it's normal...

Alfons: That's a problem too. Even if it's normal, please be lonely.

Kate: Wh-what...?

Alfons: Well then, see you tomorrow.

He kissed my cheek and left for the entrance.

(He told me not to make a lonely face, and to be lonely...)

Roger: He's a selfish guy, isn't he?

Kate: R-Roger...were you listening?

I turned around to see Roger standing halfway up the stairs leading to the basement, with a mischievous smile on his face.

Roger: If you're lonely, I can keep you company while he's gone.

Kate: I'm fine, really, I'm not lonely at all.

Roger: Oh really?

After glancing in the direction of Alfons, who had disappeared beyond the entrance,

Roger smoothly placed his hand on my chin and—

Roger: I think I understand what Al was saying. He said it's cute when you pout.

Kate: –Hn!?

He kissed me as if it were natural.

Kate: Wh-what, why so suddenly!?

I hurriedly pushed him away, but Roger just smirked.

Roger: Because you're a good woman who's lonely but acts tough, and Al is too careless.

(Wh-what should I do...)

Kate: Alfons said he wouldn't be with anyone but me...

Roger: ...

Roger: Heh, heh! So that's what you're worried about, huh, little missy?

Roger chuckles gleefully as I turn pale.

Kate: ... Huh? What else is there to worry about?

Roger: Hmm... No, nothing. I was just teasing. Don't worry, I won't do it again.

Roger: But if that guy makes you cry, I might just have to do something about it.

Roger: I have a fondness for tearful faces.

Kate: N-no way...! I don't plan on being made to cry!

I ran up the stairs to escape Roger's egotistical smirk.

-

And then--the next day.

(Yesterday's kiss... was my fault for letting my guard down.)

(I absolutely, absolutely need to make sure it doesn't happen again.)

(...And it wouldn't do any good to make Alfons feel bad, so it's better to keep it a secret, right?)

Alfons: What's with that troubled look on your face, Kate?

Kate: Eek...!?

I jump up as he pokes me in the side.

Alfons: Ah, you're so sensitive. Is this an erogenous zone too?

Kate: I was just ticklish...!

Alfons, who had just returned from a night out and woken up a moment ago, laughed cheerfully with his shirt still rumpled from sleep.

(I'll keep it a secret after all...)

(Alfons keeps secrets from me too, about where he goes and what he does at night...!)

I changed my mood and announced today's plans.

Kate: More importantly, we promised to draw a portrait of you today, right, Alfons?

Alfons: Of course, I remember. Ah, shall I take this off?

Kate: It's fine as it is!

I stopped Alfons' hand as he reached for the buttons of his shirt and pushed him into a chair.

Alfons: This was an attempt to leave a picture behind in case the ink writing fades, wasn't it?

Alfons: Didn't you take a photo with the same reasoning the other day?

Alfons: And before that, you got your hands on the latest equipment, a phonograph, and recorded my voice, didn't you?

Kate: Just being extra careful! Now, please stay still.

Alfons: Yes, yes.

Alfons teased me a bit more before crossing his long legs and resting his cheek on his hand on the armrest.

I set up the easel and canvas I had prepared and began to sketch.

Alfons: Kate, I didn't know you could draw.

Kate: I can't. That's why I'm practicing.

Alfons: By the time you're a grandmother, you'll have improved and will surely be able to draw a perfect likeness.

Kate: Ah ha! Do you intend to live with me until I'm a grandmother?

Alfons: How optimistic of you, to be involved with a man whose profession is assassination.

(Of course, I know. No one knows when death will come.)

The things I'm accumulating now may not be able to overcome fate.

(Even so...)

Kate: That's why I want to capture the present moment that we're living together.

Alfons: ...Hehe, how straightforward.

Alfons looked at me intently with those dazzling eyes again.

Every time I look at him to confirm his form, my heartbeat quickens as I meet his beloved gaze.

(I, I have to focus.)

I moved the charcoal as if to dispel unnecessary distractions. But...

(This is... It might not just be a lack of talent.)

The more lines I added, the more hopeless the result became.

Alfons: What's wrong? Your face is getting paler and paler.

Kate: Ah, don't move... Don't look!

Alfons: Let me see...

As soon as he saw the disastrous picture I had drawn on the canvas, Alfons pointed at it rudely and burst into laughter.

Alfons: Ahahaha! Ah, you... Is this a human being? Ahahahaha!

Kate: It will be! I'll get better!

Alfons: Ha... You're a really interesting person.

After laughing until tears came out, Alfons snatched the charcoal from my hand.

Kate: Ah...!

Alfons: Hey, Kate.

Alfons: For the sake of improvement, shouldn't you get to know my body... better?

Kate: ...

When his seductive voice poured into my ears, my body ached sweetly as if a switch had been flipped.

Alfons guided my fingertips, which were wandering in the air after the charcoal was taken away, to the buttons of his shirt.

Kate: ...Your shirt... will get dirty with charcoal...

Alfons: Please dirty it, with your fingers.

He was deliberately using suggestive language, enjoying my reaction.

(I know, but...)

As expected, I was made to imagine indecent things, and my body became wet with anticipation.

(...It's like I'm being trained to Alfons' liking.)

(It's embarrassing, but... I'm happy.)

It's because it's proof that he's carving his love into me - I can't help but feel happy.

After letting me unbutton his shirt, Alfons guided my fingertips inside.

Alfons: See, if you touch me like this... you can understand my contours better, can't you?

Kate: ...

As I was guided, my fingertips traced the contours of his muscles, moving down from his chest to his abdomen.

Kate: Ah... Alfons...

Alfons: Remember my form well.

---By the time I touched his warmth, I had already fallen into his sweet trap.

-

After taking pictures, recording our voices, and even leaving behind drawings... maybe at least one of them will remain.

After our sketching session gradually turned into a sweet moment in bed—

Alfons playfully laughed while languidly twirling my sulking hair.

Alfons: I used to hate photos, you know?

Kate:...Is that so?

Alfons: Yes, you took my photo virginity. You have to take responsibility for it.

My nose was poked, and the sweet ache in my chest made me forget my sulking.

(The Alfons who was trying to irresponsibly abandon our relationship and disappear...)

(To say something like "take responsibility" that ties us to our relationship...)

Joy slowly spread through me—at the same time, I remembered something I felt guilty about.

(Alfons is trying to love me so properly...)

(To keep it a secret... it's not good, is it?)

Kate: U-um... Alfons, there's something I need to apologize for.

Alfons: Oh my, this sounds interesting. What is it?

Kate: I...

Kate: When you weren't around, Roger kissed me.

Alfons: ..........

Kate: I'm so sorry...

Alfons stared blankly for a moment, then started to laugh, his shoulders shaking.

(W-why is he laughing...?)

Alfons: Oh dear... You really are something else... Heh.

Alfons: Go ahead, you can have as many "meaningless kisses" as you want.

Kate: Huh!? But, Alfons, you said you wouldn't kiss anyone but me...

Alfons: Doesn't count if the other person forces it on me, right? That's an accident, an accident.

(Oh, good... Huh? But that means...)

Kate: So you're saying you don't count those kinds of kisses either, Alfons?

Alfons: Oops, I shouldn't have said that.

Kate: ...How many times have you had those kinds of kisses since you said you'd only kiss me?

Alfons: Hmm, I don't remember. Maybe two or three times, maybe not.

(This guy...!)

I leaned over Alfons and roughly pressed my lips against his.

He laughed with glee, and I hated the way his lips received it.

Kate: Nn... Ah, Alphonse, you good-for-nothing!

Alfons: Yes, I know.

Kate: Womanizer! Liar! Pervert!

Alfons: That last part was a compliment, wasn't it?

Kate: You jerk...

My body is rolled over, and our positions reversed.

With a creak of the bedsprings, Alfons leans over me.

Alfons: Do you hate me for being a good-for-nothing, a womanizer, a liar, and a pervert?

Kate: ...uh...y-yes...!

The perpetrator, who knew exactly how I would respond, smiles like a devil.

As if trying to burn each and every one of my reactions into his memory, he narrows his dazzling eyes.

(He's toying with my feelings again, teasing me... He really is an impossible person.)

(But...)

Kate: ...I...love you...

(I can't imagine a life without you anymore.)

Alfons: Hehe, good.

Alfons: I love you too, Kate.

His curved lips drop a sweet kiss.

I want to continue this playful exchange forever.

Until it's etched into my memory, leaving a mark that will never fade.

-

As usual, a gloomy darkness lies over London, England.

The man who shows illusions to escape from this reality for a moment was about to throw himself into the darkness again tonight.

Roger: Going again? You're persistent, aren't you?

Alfons: You're persistent too. Do you enjoy talking to me?

Roger: I'd love to expose your true intentions for always making the lil lady sad and anxious.

Alfons: Do you really think I'd tell you honestly?

Roger: Who knows. But if the day comes when you don't come back by morning, I'll take the young lady.

Roger: --What would you do if I said that?

Alfons: Ah ha! Do you think I'd just casually die again?

Laughing with a distorted face, Alfons turned his whole body towards Roger.

Alfons: I'd rather not die before her.

Alfons: I'll die after Kate, even if it's just by a minute or a second.

Alfons: I don't want to be forgotten by her.

Alfons: Oh, and also--

Roger: ....!

Alfons grabbed Roger's chest and pulled him closer. In his smiling face, only his grey eyes were filled with cold murderous intent.

Alfons: ...If you kiss Kate again, I'll bite off those lips.

After spitting out these words, he turned his back on Roger and left the castle without looking back.

Roger: I see. ...Even his way of loving is troublesome.

As Roger sees him off, the sound of two sets of footsteps reaches his ears without a moment's delay.

Kate: ...Roger, you're just in time.

Roger: Hmm? What's wrong, lil lady... and Elbert?

Elbert: I was taking a walk... and Kate called out to me...

Kate: Roger, would you also like to... not follow Alfons' tail, but, um, yes!

Kate: Would you like to accompany us on a walk... while watching his back?

Roger: ...Your way of loving is just as troublesome, lil lady.

Kate: Yes...?

Roger: Never mind. I'm talking to myself.

-

For him, love is fleeting, and everyday life is fragile.

That's why he plays with me day and night, driving me crazy - that's his way of loving.

And he seems to enjoy it even more since he fell in love with me.

I'm still being swayed by this lovely, indecent illusion today.

FIN

----

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[Return to Ikevil Masterlist]

[philtstone]

16 (nose kisses), Anne/Gilbert!

The unspoken laws and loyalties of bosom friendship notwithstanding, Anne has been inching nearer and nearer to the edge of her patience with every subsequent Post-Date Diana who enters their humble apartment.

"Oh, Anne," she says the first time, admittedly Diana-ish in the rosy, stalwart flush of her cheeks. "I just had the best time. We got spaghetti, and he held my purse, and I think I laughed all night long."

Fred Wright is nowhere near funny enough for Anne to believe this a sustainable laughter, but Diana is happy, and if one isn't expecting a date to go anywhere -- which Anne is not -- the best outcome of the whole thing would be an enjoyable old time. Anne says, "A grand old success, then," while Diana goes, smiling, to the bathroom to get unready, and that is that.

So Anne thinks, anyhow.

"Anne," says Diana after the second date. "Oh, I keep thinking about him. He's got such nice eyes, and such lovely hair --" (It's so very flat and straight, which Anne has never found alluring, but she holds her tongue) "-- and gosh, Anne, all I could think of was how desperately I wanted to kiss his nose. I felt like a heroine from a romance, Anne, I really did!"

This is less like the Di Anne knows, but she allows that years of being exposed to Anne might have predicted such behaviour -- his nose, really! No one has so alluring a nose that you'd want to kiss it, let alone Fred's flat and snub one -- Diana's is so much more aristocratic -- but Anne manages to smile and nod. She has twelve readings due tomorrow, so she decides -- whilst on a semi-regular video call with recent chum Gil Blythe -- that she'll deal with it later.

"Diana's sensible," Anne tells him, stoutly, while she braids her hair for bed and he squints at his Anatomy 412 flashcards by the sink with a toothbrush in his mouth. "Not like I am, Gil -- she'll grow out of this Fred thing. I mean, she has dreams, for God's sake, and Fred is so -- so -- Fred."

"Fred's a nice enough guy," Gilbert says, muffled around his toothbrush. He spits. "Accounting's got steady income. And, you know, Diana's mom's got to like him -- not like the last few guys."

It's true, of course, that Fred Wright goes to the same Korean Church the Barrys have patronized for years, but Anne sees this as immaterial to Diana's dreams of becoming a self-made creative marketing director in the modern age of womankind.

"We've got exams in a week," Anne says with confidence. "I'm sure she'll be back to herself in no time."

The third date comes and goes, and Diana admits -- after a whole two days of secretive private sighing -- to a make-out session of the most agreeable kind. There was over the clothes action. Anne howls with such violent shock that her prized 2014 MacBook almost flies across the room.

"And it took you two days to tell me?" she shrieks.

Diana is only a very little bit repentant.

Anne becomes convinced. She is losing her closest friend in the world -- to a man.

To Fred Wright. And his perfectly average nose!

Oh, calamity!

"Anne," says Gilbert, for the tenth time, a week after Diana's gone on her fifth date. Well -- they're not really dates anymore. Anne's been informed that her best friend is in a whole relationship with the dreaded Fred. After three days of a stiff upper lip (she had two papers due for women's studies) she has broken down in tears in Gilbert's dorm. Thank God Josie and Moody left an hour ago, because Anne doesn't think she could've borne the humiliation of Losing It in front of them.

Gilbert, somehow, is different.

"Anne," he says once more, gently. She can feel his hands rubbing carefully against her back, and it is helping, really. She hiccups a few times.

"I'm just -- we had these dreams together, Gil. What if she goes off and gets married before me and never becomes duchess of digital marketing, and I'm left alone and friendless and -- and -- alone -- and, oh, I haven't even started my third term paper. Alone!"

At this, Gilbert sighs fully and pulls her into a hug. Anne hiccups weepily for a while longer against his chest, which is surprisingly solid. She supposes she ought to have expected this -- just as she ought to have expected Diana's romantic escapades -- because, as evidenced by the old football jersey he's currently wearing, Gilbert the pre-med student was until very recently something of an athlete. Anne tripped over her own feet the last time she tried running, and so has long since given up the stuff. This noted contrast is suddenly and inconveniently allowing a queer feeling to enter her stomach.

"Anne," Gilbert says a third time, somewhere around the vicinity of her forehead. "You're not alone. You goose. As if Diana would ever forget about you."

"But things might change," Anne says.

It comes out in a far smaller voice than she intends it to. And then, as if inspired, she looks up.

She doesn't mean to, and perhaps she is compelled by some greater force; in that moment, she comes the closest she ever has to Gilbert's own nose. It is far nicer than Fred Wright's, Anne's mind manages to notice. Long and straight and brown, and -- well, there is a freckle or two there, from the sun, but they're much sweeter than Anne's own and something about their proximity is making her stomach flip. His arm is warm against her side.

She could kiss his nose, pops the thought into her head, so very unwanted.

"Not all change is a bad thing, Anne," Gilbert says, his low voice scattering that awful intrusion to the four winds. He is as quiet as she had been, but more steady, somehow. Gilbert is often steady, these days, and steadiness is something Anne has never thought, actively, to crave before, but she has -- well, she has.

Anne takes a deep, querulous breath and pretends her head isn't spinning. Gilbert's expression shifts; she stops staring at his nose. A very small part of her, perceptive in spite of herself, thinks that he is about to take pity on her.

He does.

"C'mon," Gil says, untangling them and helping Anne to her feet with a decidedly chummy arm up. "You've got your paper and I've got this bellringer. I'll put on some tea, we'll focus, and then I can come with you tomorrow to stage a Diana Intervention."

And it won't really be that -- Anne loves Diana too much to want anything but the best and happiest for her -- but she is comforted, all the same.

[sunflowerkiwis]

Speak Now

Harry Styles x Reader | Platonic!Taylor Swift x Reader

Word count: 682

There’s hardly a plot to this so bare with me; You bring Taylor out to perform with you and mess with the crowd a bit.

Unedited—and it shows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

If there is one thing y/n and her fans have in common, it’s analyzing everything. They all know: almost everything she does is for a reason, it all comes with sharing a strong friendship and fanbase with Taylor Swift. Every capital letter, every number thrown in, every song cover—everything meant something to her, therefore it meant something to the fans. So, having this knowledge… why not mess with them a bit?

“They’re gonna freak out,” Taylor said from her seat in the hair and makeup chair.

“In a good way,” Y/n looked at her, attempting to put in her earrings, “they love you, sometimes more than me, i think.”

They both laughed before Paula, Y/n’s manager came in, letting her know she had ten minutes before being on stage.

~~~

“Well,” Y/n looked around the crowd, no words could describe the feeling she felt on stage being able to bring so many people together and create a safe space for everyone to be themselves and have fun. “Hello, Sydney. How’re we doing tonight?”

Cheers and whistles erupted making her chuckle. She spotted Harry in the area reserved for family and gave him a smile and a wave, making the crowd freak out again.

“You are a gorgeous crowd, Sydney. Beautiful—loud, too.” Cue the noise. “Now, we’re gonna do a song that I’ve wanted to do for a while. It’s by a very close friend of mine and I just enjoy this song so much because of the message it puts out and how…” she paused, trying to figure out how to relate to this song when her very loyal and committed fiancée was in the crowd. “How relatable it can be at times, with… with certain people.”

She stepped back, grabbing her guitar from a crew member. The fans grew confused at her introduction of the song and the new, very different guitar. This one was a dark, sparkly purple, and the way she was unsure of how to introduce the song as she kept glancing to Harry in the crowd? Something was up.

“Sydney,” Y/n started strumming the guitar, a familiar tune to those who were fans of both her and Taylor, “this is Speak Now, by Taylor Swift.” Cue the confusion. “I am not the kind of girl who should be be rudely budging in on a white veil occasion… But you are not kind of boy who should be marrying the wrong girl…”

Even louder cheers came along as they saw the familiar face walking across stage to where Y/n was standing. “I sneak in and see your friend and her snotty little family all dressed in pastels,” Taylor sand beside Y/n. “And she is yelling at a bridesmaid, somewhere back inside her room, wearing a gown shaped like a pastry.”

Y/n chuckled before joining her later, still strumming her guitar. “Don’t say yes, run away now. I’ll meet you when you’re of the church, at the back door,” she sang with a little too much emotion for someone in a strong and happy relationship—engaged, nonetheless.

She shot Harry side eyes at every snarky line like “And the organ starts to play a song that sounds like a death march” and a smirk at “You wish it was me—don’t you?”

She gave her all into those four minutes, knowing entirely too well she had no business relating to this song at all, which, obviously, she didn’t. But as they say, it’s for the plot.

~~~

“Should I be worried?” Harry came up behind her, hugging her waist.

“Not unless you have some hidden bride in a pastry dress,” she raised a brow at him through the mirror.

“Counting you, or…?”

Y/n rolled her eyes and turned around to kiss his cheek. “Can’t to see all the divorced parent tiktoks tomorrow.” She joked. Having Harry Styles and Taylor Swift in the same room was bound to get brought up at some point in the next 24 hours—maybe less.

Harry frowned, seeming genuinely confused. “Pardon?”

“‘S what they call you and Taylor.”

“…Why?”

“Oh, boy…” It was going to be a long night.

[smoooothoperator]

What a Shame

02: Love Story

Driver! Charles Leclerc x Singer! OC (Juliette Morelli)

Exes to Lovers, Forced Proximity, Childhood Sweathearts

Summary: she has to deal with him on her own way, and he has to deal with the consequences

Words: 2.5k

warnings: Lando x OC, charles being stupid, flashbacks are on italics. Love Story

Official Playlist (I will add more songs as I write)

Every interaction is very welcomed!!!!!

Masterlist

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a/n: hi hi loes!! welcome to de second chapter of this beautiful sroty i'm making!!! if you want to be tagged don't forget to massage me!!

🎤

He's here.

Charles Leclerc is here. Of course he is! Why did I never think about it? He is Pierre's best friend. He's one of those drivers that would come to the wedding.

"Shit, shit, shit" I groaned storming out of the room even before Valerie walked in.

"Juliette!"

I sigh and take a deep breath. She saw me, fuck!

"Hey, where are you going?" she asked me worriedly, walking towards me.

"Why didn't you tell me he was coming?" I asked her, hurt. "Why didn't you tell me Charles is Pierre's best man?"

"Because I wanted you in my wedding, Juliette! I wanted you to be here even if he was here" she sighed holding my hands. "Do this for me… Please?"

I look at her taking a deep breath. The last ten years the only moment I thought about him was while looking at the calendar and watching the day when he broke up with me. Every year I wrote my frustrations down in a notebook and those words became songs. And now he's here, standing next to Pierre and clearly not bothered.

"He better stay away from the entire weekend" I said walking back inside, sitting back on the chair and looking at him one last time before moving my eyes to the other side of the room.

The rehearsal of the wedding was quick, they just skipped their vows and the exchange of rings, just doing what they had to do to make sure everything was ready.

"The dinner will be at the restaurant of the villa" the maid of honor said to the few people that came to the rehearsal in the church.

I got up when I noticed his eyes on me, looking away and walking out of the church. The villa is not far from here, just to the other side of the village.

I took a deep breath and looked around, swallowing thickly when I heard him call my name. No, no.

"Oh god, you are Juliette Morelli?" a man asked behind me, making me turn around and smile.

He had curly brown hair and bright eyes, a British accent and a cute smile.

"I am" I smile, looking at Charles for afar walking towards me. "And you are…?"

"Lando Norris" he smiled, walking with me as I started the way towards the villa. "One of Pierre's friends"

"Yeah, I imagined" I nodded smiling.

While we talked I felt his eyes on the back of my neck. I know he's looking at us, I wish I knew what he was thinking.

"I guess you are staying here in the villa" Lando smiled looking at me. "Which room?"

"Oh number 203" I said smiling. "I'm Valerie's best friend, so…"

"Oh? And how is it that you are not her maid of honor? I thought every girl does that?" he frowned, making me laugh weakly and shake my head.

"I'm tired of being a maid of honor, so… Hey, but I'm going to sing at their first dance" I laughed.

"So I'll be at a free concert of Juliette Morelli?" he laughed.

I looked at him and bite my lip. Maybe I can have a little fun with him, just to get Charles out of my mind.

The dinner was a little messy. Kids around, parents trying to control them, Pierre and Valerie nervous and just to add to the mix, Charles was killing me and Landon with his eyes all night.

"So tell me, which song will you do tomorrow?" Lando asked me, leaning on the back of his chair.

"Hm, is a surprise" I smirk. "The only hint I'll give you is that it's a gift I made for them"

"A new song?" he said surprised.

"Yeah" I nod smiling. "I don't think I'll drop it, actually. Is a song I wrote for them and only them"

Lando was someone I could talk easily with. He liked many things and always had a way to start another conversation with me. At least it helped me to not think about him during the dinner.

When people started to go back to their rooms I just got up from the table, going to grab a drink. I just felt like I needed to drink something to stop my own instinct: going to Charles.

"I'm going to grab something to drink" I told Lando, getting up from the chair and looking down at him. "You coming?"

"Oh, I… Yeah" he nodded standing up too.

I smiled and bit my lip, looking at him. Yeah, I could have fun with him tonight.

"Juliette" I heard him say my name, making me stop my steps, freezing.

I wanted to keep walking, to make my legs work. But it was like they were jelly, shaking when I heard his voice. Is deeper than ten years ago, he still keeps that french accent I once loved, but the way he said my name is not the same he used to say it.

"What? You know her?" Lando asked him, surprised. "Dude! You know I'm a fan and you never introduced her to me!"

"Can you leave us alone for a minute, Lando? I have to talk with her" he sighed and I just took a deep breath when I saw Lando walk away.

Well, there goes my chance of having a funny night. Thank you, Charles.

"Don't you dare to hook up with him" he said on my back, making me turn around and look at him, incredulous.

"First of all, who I hook up with is none of your business anymore" I said frowning, looking at him disgusted.

"It is when he's my friend!" he exclaimed, making me laugh.

"Really? The first thing you say to me after all this time is that?" I laughed shaking my head. "How ridiculous"

"Juliette, I-"

"No, Leclerc" I said frowning, pointing my finger at him and making him shut up. "You are no longer my boyfriend. Not even my friend. You don't have any rights to tell who I am allowed to fuck and who I am not. I'm over you"

"Oh, yeah? Tell that to all your Grammy winning songs about me" he said crossing his arms, a mischievous grin on his lips.

"Fuck you, Leclerc!" I exclaimed and walked away.

He doesn't have any right to do this to me. He was the one that ended things, the one that said I was distracting him.

I just walked the way I saw Lands leaving, smiling relieved when I saw him sitting on one of the highchairs of the drinks bar.

"Do you two know each other?" he asked me, making me sigh and roll my eyes.

"Unfortunately" I sighed.

He looked at me and I just turned around, ordering a glass of whiskey and taking a sup of it after the bartender served it to me. I heard Lando humming and saw him nodding, looking in front of him.

"Well, he's looking at you" he said and I just sighed groaning.

"Good for him" I scoffed and looked at Lado, biting my lip.

I saw him looking at me and I just smiled, resting my head on the palm of my hand. He smiled back, taking a deep breath and leaning his back on the bar.

I bite my lip and smirk, cupping his cheek with my hand and leaning on him quickly to peck his lips, pulling away and chuckling.

"You are cute" I said smiling, looking at how he blushed and laughed nervously.

"Hm, you are too" he smiled, biting his lip, licking afterwards. "But why did you kiss me?"

"Oh, because I wanted to" I laughed. "I mean, if you have a girlfriend I'm so sorry!"

"No, no, it's okay" he laughed. "I'm single as fuck"

"Good, me too" I said, making him laugh. "Come to my room"

"What? I… Are you sure?" he frowned surprised, quiet shocked.

"Hey, let's just have fun" I said, nudging his side. "We're two single people at a wedding. Believe me, I know for experience how boring that is"

I looked at him and by the corner of my eye I saw Charles leaving mad, just making me smile at Lando more.

Good. Let's have fun.

🏎️

I wanted to talk with her. To hear her voice, her laugh.

But that didn't go how I wanted it to. I heard her voice, but not while she talked to me but to Lando. I heard her laugh, caused by Lando. I saw her smile, while she talked with Lando.

"Dude, you are staring again" Pierre whispered in my ear, making me jump on the seat and gasp.

"Pierre! Dude, stop doing that!" I exclaimed.

He laughed and it made me groan. My eyes went back to her, sitting with Lando and touching his arm while she laughed at something he said, throwing her head back. That means she's having fun for real.

"Why don't you talk with her?" Pierre asked me, making me frown and look at him.

"Are you for real? You saw how she reacted when she saw me in the church not long ago" I scoffed. "You really want to see her screaming at me?"

"I mean… You kinda deserve it" he said, shrugging his shoulders. "Now you have to deal with the consequences, all by yourself"

I looked at him frowning, kinda hurt with his lack of support, and looked down at the plate with food.

Hearing her laugh makes my appetite go away because I'm not the one causing it.

After some hours since everyone finished their dinner, people started getting up to go to their rooms or to the drinks bar, and I was still sitting on the table doing as if I heard what Valerie and Pierre were talking about.

They are not getting up. She's sitting closer to him. He rested his arm on the back of her chair. She's doing that thing when she feels relaxed, playing with a little strand of her hair and twisting it on her finger. They are sitting too close.

But then she got up and he followed her, looking back at the drinks bar.

Then my legs worked alone, making me stand and walk towards her. My lips worked alone and pronounced her name, and I hated it because it sounded different than when I used to say it.

I heard her heels stopping, how she took a deep breath. I ignored Lando, not looking at him and just fixing my eyes on her. She turned around and I just felt the world stop.

She looks more beautiful than ever. Her eyes are different, they don't look at me the way the used to. Her lips are no longer making that perfect smile she used to gift me. She's skinnier, but her body is perfect, all the curves she had are better and made her look more mature, more adult.

I didn't plan what I wanted to say to her, but it definitely wasn't what I said. I didn't want to argue with her, but watching her with Lando made something grow inside of me that I never felt before. Hearing her say that she's over me, even if I deserve it, made me feel angry, but I didn't have the right to say those things to her.

"I am stupid" I groaned to myself when I saw her walk towards Lando again, watching how she sat on the high chair and talked with him.

But what hurt me the most was when she kissed him.

That's not the Juliette I once knew. That's not the person I fell in love with. She's someone else right now. Someone, even if I hated to admit it, I was destroyed.

I felt many emotions inside of me. Anger, jealousy, pain, anxiety. All the emotions I had buried in the deepest part of my soul are now getting out of that box, coming to the surface and exploding right in front of my face since the moment I saw her a few hours ago.

I never wanted to recognize it, but now watching her with someone else makes me regret what I did to her.

I just walked out of the building, sitting on a bench that was under fairy lights. The place is beautiful, Pierre and Valerie made a great choice with this villa.

I remember when Juliette and I were younger, dreaming awake on the bed while holding each other how our future could be. She used to tell me that she would be my trophy girlfriend if I was her trophy boyfriend. That she would go to my races if I went to her concerts.

I still remember how I played the piano with her when she wrote her songs, helping her with the melody and finding the right notes for it. She was always a genius with words, writing beautiful poems that she transformed into songs.

"Hey, I just had an idea" she told me, sitting next to me on the couch with her back notebook and a book in her hand. 

"What are you doing reading Romeo and Juliet?" I laughed when I saw the title of the book, grabbing it and opening it to find some lines highlighted. 

"I just wanted to write a song, you idiot" she laughed, taking the book away from my hands. 

"Remember when I told you that the way we met reminded me of their story?

"Yeah, at the annual ball the prince does" I nodded, smiling at the memory. "Your dad really hated me that night"

"He was just overprotective" she laughed, rolling her eyes. "I just... I just wanted to write a song about us, you know?"

"That's so beautiful" I smiled, wrapping my arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to me. "Any ideas?  You already have the lyrics?"

She showed me the notebook and I just smiled reading it, falling for her even more. 

"Wait, let me add something" I said, grabbing the pen and writing the last verse.

Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone. 

I love you, and that's all I really know

I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress

It's a love story, baby, just say yes

"Wait, what?" she gasped, making me laugh.

"If this song is our story, it should end this way" I said while playing with her hair. "This is a promise, yeah?"

"It's a promise" she said smiling, looking at me.

I looked up at the dark sky full of stars and smiled sadly. I made many promises to her and broke most of them.

"I am so stupid" I sighed, closing my eyes defeated.

taglist

@lestappenloverr @racinggirl @roni-midnights

[sunnycanvas]

Tantalizing Love

Baldwin iv x fem!reader

I was wandering lonely in the sky,

Had no connection, no matter what, with those who fly

It was the middle of night in Jerusalem. A new year's eve to be exact. You drank beer from the can as you watched fireworks in the sky from the bridge

You sighed exhausted. You walked alone on the bridge heading towards your hotel. This place hasn't had peace for generations you thought. From history till today this place place hasn't known peace. Just when this country is in peace for few generations. It faces war again

Since the day I learnt to flap my wings,

I've been listening to a melody that the cold wind sings.

You never understood your attachment to this place. You remember talking to your friends and family where there was a discussion on which place to visit

"Jerusalem" you replied

Confused they would look at you

"For historical reasons of course" you reasoned

"Since, when did you start loving history so much" one of your friends asked

Not knowing the answer yourself you stood there quietly in the middle of busy street tightening your hold on your bag

Your other friend noticing your discomfort said

"People change, so do their interest" your friend said trying to defend you

"Kingdom of heaven" you replied

Now this got attention of both of your friends who looked at you confused. "I remember watching Kingdom of heaven in television long time ago. Ever since I have been fascinated by this place" your friends nodded understandingly. "I knew you weren't type of academic" your friend who originally questioned you replied smugly. You scoffed hearing his response and your other friend laughed.

Same response came from your family

"You want to go to Jerusalem after your graduation?" They questioned

"Yes" you replied confidently

"But why?" asked one of your family member.

"Because I want to" you replied confidently determined. They seemed confused but thankfully they didn't inquire further. However none of your friends or family wanted to visit Jerusalem. "It's okay" you thought, you could live here alone.

As you walked streets of Jerusalem you watched the sky filled with fireworks

"People seem happy despite their difficult life" you thought. You wondered how Baldwin iv would have felt if he saw his country today. You remember after watching the movie you ended up reading story of Baldwin iv and realised that historically there was much more story and different one shown in movie. You always thought that once you enter Jerusalem your obsession with this place would end.

I pushed too hard to rise up high,

A bullet hit me, I broke down, Oh sigh! ! !

Alas, it worsened. You started having dreams of man every day who seemed blind. He also had missing nose and obvious disfigurement in face. These dreams became more frequent. The more you visited historical sites in the country of Israel . Each time you would see more vivid images and more scenarios. Are these memories you thought?

Tomorrow you went and visited the church of holy sepulchre. There you stood watching the place. Suddenly you had a strong headache and more scenarios came

The thirst of my throat, the tinge of my tongue,

Relieved by the rain, reminds me the song that was sung

"Baudouin" you said with tears running from your eyes. "I don't want to leave you. I don't fear your condition please let me stay not as a lover but atleast as a subject who takes care of her king". You cried as you nearly fell on the floor but Baldwin iv caught you.

"Hush now, you need to leave" people have started to notice our affair and they are not pleased since I am the king and you are maid. Also I have taken vow of chastity. You know right leprosy is thought to be transmitted through sexual intercourse as well as disfavour from God". "It's dangerous for not only for me but you as well to be in relationship with me. If people came to know that you were in relationship with Leper then you be marginalized as well. You wouldn't be able to get married as you always wanted" he reasoned

"I don't care, I don't want anyone else but you". You sobbed. Baldwin iv looked upset and he hugged you. "For once I wanted to be selfish" he said. "I thought we were careful" you cried in his chest. "It seems we weren't careful enough" Baldwin iv sighed. "We need to seperate and it's for the best for both of us" Baldwin iv said in pain. "Please don't make it anymore difficult for me"

Then landscape got disturbed, with my hue & cry,

I decided to break down, but then you passed by

You left the palace as soon as rumours spread. Your name was not ever recorded in history as people believed that the Leper king having a lover was just a rumour.Just like that you disappeared in history. You soon lost touch with your king and died of broken heart. King Baldwin iv never knew, the only people who knew about your affair kept your affair secret told the king that you had found someone else and married that you live a well settled life. Baldwin iv was happy with slight jealousy. He knew this was for the best and you deserve a better life and not be dragged down with leper. Baldwin iv never knew and people who knew about truth carried it with them to grave

Even though Baldwin iv is no longer remembered as king disfavoured by God. He remains hugely unknown in the west. Just like you he hugely remains unknown today but unlike you he is still remembered by some people. You staggered when you recalled your memories and began to cry. You wished things could have ended differently

Looking at you & feeling your glow,

Just as in movies, and the motion was slow

"Ma, Cherie" you heard. You turned around and saw a man who had very bright eyes, an aquiline nose and blond hair. He had ruddy face and moderate height.

Wondering why you picked me up, and in this life can I ever deny?

How your words housed my mind, straight through my heart, Bullseye! ! !

Baudouin, you thought. Realising you recognised him. He smiled and said. "I missed you Ma Cherie, it's been 900 years"

Have no enough expressions, my words are in dearth,

With you by my side dear, I'm the happiest man on Earth.

-Reincarnation Love Poem by Sawan Dhyani

[angeltreasure]

I recognize that I may never find a husband, be blessed with a family, get to fulfil my hearts desire of being a mother, a wife, and a helpful hand to the church. I tell God every day that I understand that in the end, I only have him, and I try to feel his love throughout my days, count my blessings and find joy in solitude. Jesus is my only friend, and I try to talk to him like he’s beside me but I’m left feeling alone and useless. I’m pursuing a career while working full time. Every day I’m studying all night after work. I am deeply unhappy with the direction I’m headed in and I do not want to be a woman with a career, it goes against my heart. I don’t believe women should even work in the field that I’m going into but I can’t stop now, I became an adult so quickly and suddenly I’m running out of time and money to spend on school. I just wish God had planned something different for me- But how can I even say that? I don’t know if it’s selfish to ask for a prayer for some kind of consolation when I am truly so blessed and lucky to be so privileged. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and I just want to forget my ego and be able to dedicate all my energy to honouring God and inspiring others to do the same.

I’ll pray for you.

Today is the perfect day to ask for prayers like this, to say ‘Jesus, I need Your help’. Our human heart desires natural things as you have said, know that there is nothing wrong with those desires. Sometimes our peers our own age or others around us make it seem so simple (especially if we follow blogs we love on social media which depict the exact dream life we want), so easy, that we wonder, ‘why am I not a mother yet? Why am I down this path? Doesn’t God care for me or even hear me? What am I doing wrong, what is wrong with me?’ There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. God isn’t just tolerating you because you are working hard and searching for things. He loves you, even when your sins nailed Him to the cross. There is nothing that will stop God from loving you, even if you were the worst sinner. God has a plan for you. It may not be tonight, or tomorrow, or next week, maybe not for years, but we have to be like Jesus and say God not my will but Your will be done. In the mean time, recognize in the present moment you already are a spiritual mother when you care for your family, friends, coworkers, people you pray for, the homeless, the abandoned. You are a wife because you are a child of God, the bride is the Church, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, knit by God when you were in your mother’s womb. You can be a helping hand to your church and surrounding churches when you are present at Mass, when you give your time and volunteer, when you make sacrifices to help other church members and clergy to lead them to God. You can do the smallest of smallest jobs, right down to cleaning the altar cloths and fixing the pews after Mass, and all that helping you can offer up for souls in Purgatory. All that studying and working too, offer it up for Purgatory and, God willing, your future spouse modeled after the best of all: St. Joseph. The Divine Mercy Chaplet is the perfect prayer for you to try and remember this sentence: “Jesus, I trust in You”. Pray that sentence as many times as you need it. Even when you don’t understand what will happen tomorrow, Jesus I trust in You. When your heart is full of loneliness, open the door to Jesus who always knocks at the door to your heart, Jesus I trust in you. When you feel unworthy, banish that thought away saying Jesus, I trust in you. You are not selfish to ask for prayer. You are a child of God and our prayers move mountains. Don’t be so afraid that you cast your eyes on the storm and raging waves. Step out of the boat and keep your eyes on Jesus.

[antidictaphobium]

i spend all my free time analyzing the people around me.

what makes them tick, what makes them crash, what i can say to make them laugh.

it's useful for survival, but it's terrifying from a sociological standpoint.

it all feels like one big trap.

i am firm in my beliefs, beliefs no one seems to share once i leave the house.

devout behavior made strange and unsettling to passerby.

it's lonely, more than anything. mutual aid and human rights petitions don't seem to mean much to the masses surviving on hope and tomorrow's lunch money.

i don't really have the energy, to keep explaining myself. to keep rationalizing to an audience why it is worth it to give up my own resources to benefit another. i donate when i can, boycott what i can, speak up when i can. i spend the rest of the life with ears pricked up, analyzing the nasty web that forms in my observation of others.

yesterday my coworker told me she had an interview with domino's for a possible weekend delivery position. it would take up all her free time but it would pay her more than food stamps does, and as a single parent with several kids she'll take what she can get. i didn't have the heart to tell her to boycott, she just seemed so excited. but they lied about the good pay on Indeed, so today she spent her lunch break on hold with the food stamps office, praying she can afford groceries after her car needed an emergency repair. our clients drive teslas to drop off their kids.

i went to a birthday party for a friend of a friend a few days ago. it was nice, but partway through she told me she got her whole fancy outfit off temu. i bit my tongue as we prepared to spend a lavish evening singing karaoke in her parents fully furnished basement, loitering between the all-inclusive AV system and the spotless, throughly stocked bar.

a few weeks ago, another coworker told me she was having some hard feelings about the election. she said she would never vote for trump but she had a hard time rooting for kamala. she likes the overall policy but just can't get behind legalizing abortions. but her husband is a teacher, and he says the left is much kinder to the lgbt, and she is willing to settle for that. i did nothing but listen, biding my time, but not holding my breath.

i've stopped complimenting coworkers on their smart blouses, they're always from Shein.

i have a mental spreadsheet of which people to say "my roommate" to, instead of "my girlfriend". it's just safer that way.

frequently, i ask someone how their week was and get met by a barrage of No money, No car, No freedom, No care, No hope, No fast food and absolutely No free time to cook. No words to say, because what could i do to soothe it all?

when i speak to my conservative father, i am amazed by how many beliefs we share. he wants the same things i do, but instead of rallying for change he wastes away on conspiracy forums, waiting for the truth to come out. because why would the world be so horrible if it wasn't a coverup for something bigger? why would we suffer if it wasn't for redemption later on?

needless to say, i don't go to my childhood church anymore.

i don't respond to the auntie telling me McDonalds has a special sale for National Burger Day.

i sit in silence, never engaging, changing the subject, losing my grip.

i, one of many, sit alone.

i wanted to conclude with something victorious, but i've no victory to sprinkle over my dead and say "it was worth it".

i know it is, and it should be. we are not cruel by nature, i tell myself this every night. the suffering deserve peace. the tortured deserve salvation.

but my hope is locked in the same safe as my upbringing's ashes.

humming, near silent. too volatile, too fragile to touch with my bare hands. making every decision from afar.

[tellevangeline]

(Photo of me and my husband by @mettieostrowski on insta)

Caroline Polachek as a Sociological Phenomena and why it’s Important to Gatekeep Twinks.

So there I was (picture unrelated) waiting for the train at 10:30 PM on a Sunday so I can go take some extra estradiol from a generous friend at a gay bar, full incognito, wearing a fucking hoodie, I’m so tired I spent all day working on the flier for my new absurdist drag bingo because I and everyone I know are walking parodies of bushwick transexuals.

Train is taking forever so I have some time to kill, and I decide (d? Should I care about continuity? I am not a writer, I’m an author.)

Anyway I decided to put the recent Caroline Polachek album on, which is big for me because I have been a bit of a Caroline Polachek denier. I listened to Chairlift very casually when I was a teenager but I was far from die hard and since then I’ve kind of just thought of her as an unfortunate but all too common case of a talented musician being so aggressively HAIM-Pilled that it’s practically deafening. I say this as a dyke with love for all dykes❤️

Also the “new queen of artpop” claims coming from the exact type of 5’8 naturally dirty blonde he/they’s I’ve made it my life goal to disagree with at all times are really not helping her case for me.

Because here’s my thing. I’m a Kate Bush ride or die, surprising I know. I have I’ve always been a coward tattooed below my collarbones like the only 1% I’ll ever be a part of is her Spotify listeners.

But here’s the tea, if you’re not ready and willing to hee haw like a fucking donkey on a song that’s probably about some form of domestic abuse you just aren’t the new queen of artpop. I do make the rules and to be honest the only people in pop music right now not named lady fucking gaga who has the panache, the gaul, the unwavering commitment to pull stunts and shenanigans on that level are Ethel Cain and Lingua Ignota, especially since FKA Twigs decided she wanted to live a happy and fulfilling life (and good for her, thank you for all the good times queen)

And Caroline is simply not there, she’s too squeaky clean and widely appealing to go to those absurd and ugly places that make a Bjork.

Now my personal cocomelon/surrogate father figure Anthony Fantano the Internet’s Busiest Music Nerd did love her album, and I usually agree with his takes (mbdtf is mid you just love it because it was baby’s first concept album and you have a deep yearning to return to a time in your life where you first realized music could be art) BUT WHILE I AGREE WITH MANY OF HIS TAKES (sorry) my one glaring exception is that he never takes how cunt something is into consideration while evaluating a piece of music, and by that I do mean that he said gaga peaked at fame monster and 212 is the only good azealia banks song. He doesn’t have the tools to engage with music in a fag like manor, so when we’re dealing with music for gays, I don’t trust him.

And then last night I saw a Drag Queen named The Illustrious Pearl perform welcome to my island as a showgirl vampire wearing rhinestoned knee pads and frankly if Caroline is good enough for her she’s certainly good enough for me.

And I’m gonna be really vulnerable here, I really enjoyed the album. Like, there’s about as much art in it’s pop as cranberry in a gay bar vodka cran but it’s damn good pop and the art adds a nice little aftertaste.

I believe is definetely my favorite, those Rhythm Nation/Mortal Kombat ass synth hits always make me convulse (America Has A Problem is my favorite track off Renaissance) (it took me a whole 2 minutes to spell renaissance right) but I also like welcome to my island a lot and I at least liked everything else except for Billions which sounds like a song that was rejected from The Sensual World because Kate would never release a song that non-violent.

But it was cute. I have a meeting with a literal church upstate that is trying to book me for their pride drag show tomorrow and one of them just texted me “Brainstorming with the Holy Spirit is so exciting and so fruitful ✝️💜✝️) and I believe those synth hits on I Believe will carry me through my challenges tomorrow. Love Down.

Xoxo

-Evangeline

[rockofeye]

Pause

The last three weeks of the year always feel like a dark night for me. Not in a bad way, really, but in a way that brings me a sense of profound stillness. It feels like 3AM all of the time which, for me, is kind of the magic hour when the noise of everyone else falls quiet and I find a deep sense of clarity in the silence.

I love my silence. In a perfect world, I'd be able to be up until those quiet hours and then be able to function in the morning, but I am no longer young and my sleep pattern will kick my butt. I spend most of the silent dark hours asleep and dreaming, but the the seasonal shift to a 3AM feel is like putting on a comfy sweater. It marks a descent into a period of expectation and rebirth, whether we have anything planned for that or not, and my eyes are looking for the star that is the light of a new year breathing forth.

It's imagery that I'm sure I carry from my time in church as a kid and the memory of when I needed the light more than anything else. In all honesty, it's not really a memory. Maybe now more than ever before, we collectively need the light and are seeking it. The world by and large continues to fail us at a breakneck speed and it can feel overwhelming. So, we fix our eyes on the star.

Sometimes this sort of meditative approach towards ending the year makes me feel contrary to everything else that's happening. It is Makaya time, arguably one of the hottest times of the year, when the world at large regardless of belief is influenced by one of the most important spiritual happenings in history; the divine comes down and takes flesh. There are no coincidences, and so the lwa harness that and transmute it for our benefit. They take this meteoric energy and use it to heal us through community and medicine and fire and the pilon.

Yet, I'm over here having my own meditative experience like the weirdo that I am. Over a decade ago(!), I had divination that communicated that I needed to be able to be able to sit in the midst of the storm and be unbothered and unruffled. Maybe I have learned that? Maybe I am able to sit in the (metaphorical) flames and not be burned. If I am, I'm probably not very good at it...if I were good at it, maybe I would say 'FUCK' less and not roll my eyes quite as much.

I am not doing what I would like to be doing tonight. Instead of tending a large lamp through the night and completing my baths and preparing tomorrow's meal, I am at one of my jobs watching over people who suffer far more than I do in my life, no matter what petty bullshit makes me say FUCK and roll my eyes. Instead of keeping watch on a lamp, I am keeping watch on the children of the lwa, because all people who suffer like my clients do belong to Gede, because he suffers with them. It is it's own vigil, even if it means I am sitting up in an office in comfy pants, versus sitting up in my badji in my new white clothes.

My husband tells me not to worry; he has prayed for me and for us and he has the lamps going. I will finish my baths tomorrow and he assures me (with a grin) that he will eat soup for me in the morning when I am going to bed after I finish my shift. I am lucky that we balance each other so well.

I am excited for this next year, which feels strange; the last few years have been such a challenge that it would be easier to give into dread, but the seeds of excitement seem to be growing and I for one am pretty grateful.

I pray for a continuation of that excitement to carry me through the year, and I pray for a heart that remains grounded in hope, which is the doorway for my growth as an individual. I pray for joy-filled anticipation of all the good things that are going to come my way, and I pray for perseverance when things are challenging. I pray that the lwa pour cool water on the parts of me that need healing and blow rum on the parts of me that need strength. I pray for ease when the road is difficult and rest when I am tired, and I pray for vulnerability and compassion when I want to close off and when I feel overwhelmed. I pray for abundance in all areas of my life and an overflowing sense of belonging. I pray that Legba will continue to throw open the gates for me and that I will continue to open doors for myself so that I may welcome my blessings and guide the blessings meant for others. I pray for my ancestors and for their vision for me, and I ask them to pray for me, too, for all the areas I may have overlooked.

I pray for the same things for you, too, and pray that your year brings you excitement, fulfillment, and overflowing blessings. May you wake up on the first day of this new year with hope, gratitude, and preparation for the road ahead.

[fatedwithmbc]

The nights I need to go to sleep at a decent hour turn into the nights I’m up for all hours. I find it difficult to understand because I take the same medications each evening. Last night, my medications put me into a drowsy state quite easily and quickly after taking them. Tonight, I’m pleading for the same reaction without the side effect actually occurring. I’ve even set up and am diffusing lavender oil. Crazy how life works out like that sometimes. Even more confusing is that I didn’t take a nap today, so I should feel more prone to sleeping anyway.

This afternoon, I picked up my medication samples from the psychiatrist, followed by a trip to Starbucks. I confirmed a doctor appointment. I also rescheduled my hair appointment because my hair doesn’t seem like it needs maintenance yet and did my nightly routine (5 Minute Journal, Tarot One Card Pull, Color Oracle One Card Pull, The Daily Stoic and Color My Mood) because I knew I’d be going out to dinner. Then occupy my time and ensure I didn’t nap, I did several things this afternoon.

I tried placing my mug racks in the location I imagined they’d work and I was wrong. That section of my wall isn’t wide enough for six of the racks. I will have to settle for three in the initial spot and then place three in another location.

Once I was done fiddling around with the mugs, I decided to organize my t-shirts. I sorted them into a few categories: Eagles, Phillies, 76ers/Flyers and then bands and shirts from traveling. I still have a section of shirts in a laundry basket that I need to add to this, but I didn’t realize I missed them until I had finished the initial organization process. I learned I have about 40 t-shirts for the Eagles alone. Next highest is for the Phillies. In third, travel and random shirts followed by band t-shirts. I’ll dig into the final pile and do a reorganization of my dresser drawers to accommodate the changes tomorrow. I think this heightened my realization that I really do not need any more t-shirts (… or mugs).

I’m literally running out of physical space. If I have enough band and travel t-shirts, I may seek getting them made into a quilt. I need 42 for a queen sized quilt. My sports attire I live in and don’t think I can part with even to make a quilt which would preserve the items. And, I think it would fuel the purchase of more sports attire— which is no solution to the initial problem (lack of space).

The lack of space triggered a closet clean out project that I’ve been working on all summer. Currently, I’m down to needing to put hoodies into totes. But it’s going to be cold soon and I’m questioning the tote solution. I’ll figure it out.

I also have a lot of things for the church rummage sale, but that is in October. I’m driving my Mom-Mom nuts with piles of things here, a tote bag there— it’s just all in process and not finalized and I understand her frustration.

Basically, I need to keep working on getting my shit together emotionally, medicinally and physically. Haha

This evening, I did have a nice dinner with Dan & Betsy at Founding Farmers. I swear it’s my favorite restaurant. I could go there all of the time. They enjoyed it as well. We had an enjoyable time and I brought home some chocolates to share with Mom-Mom.

Mom-Mom and I chatted and then read “Good Enough” by Kate Bowler and Jessica Richie. We’ve been doing this practice together because I feel she has strong faith and I found that I would need to have conversations after certain chapters. Therefore, it became a practice with us and I enjoy that we’re doing it together. The best is that there isn’t pressure to do it daily and we do it at our own pace and have meaningful conversations after we each read the chapter. It’s something I’ll be glad we’ve done and accomplished in the future and I value the wisdom that I get from the conversations.

I’m finally starting to feel a bit more on the sleepy side. Maybe I just needed to get rid of these thoughts, no matter how mundane. Also, day two of cycle three of Ibrance: so far, so good.

Thank you all for your support and of course reading my work!

El Fin.

[slowdancingtorock]

Ireland - Day 28

Another Sunday, another day off. At least one thing that hasn't changed since my transfer. I woke up with a fairly strong hangover though I also the blame the lack of sleep that I got because my room gets so hot.

I had some phone calls with friends and family, all of which were very nice and refreshing - since my German colleague left today I won't have anyone to talk to in German from now on :(

I also went on a small sightseeing tour and checked out the Dublin castle (it was way too crowded to actually go inside), the creepy church one street over (also fairly crowded but still as nice sight) and an art exhibit about ceramic sculptures (art is kind of lost on me but some sculptures were kind of funny).

I also checked out an interesting store that sells vinyls, comics and DVDs and found some nice stuff though I couldn't get myself to buy anything. Maybe I'm out of touch but these comics were just so expensive...

Other than that there wasn't really anything else that happened - we have another person in the apartment so for some stupid reason I now have 3 more roommates that I was promised. While they are all nice people I am still angry about this. Just two more weeks of this and then I'm outta here.

I like the people here they're great and I am looking forward to seeing my colleagues tomorrow but other than that I feel ready to go home. Or rather, I want to go home. Staying here has been exhausting the whole time but it was fun in the beginning. But now I feel drained and disillusioned. Maybe it's just my brain recovering from yesterday. Oh well.

My song of the day is Walk by Kwabs. Lord knows I did a lot of walking but also it sort of describes a certain restlessness that I can relate to. Also as a sidenote, I really could have picked so many better songs for yesterday; The Nights by Avicii, We Are Young by Fun. or even Can't Hold Us by Macklemore, Ryan Lewis and Ray Dalton. My brain just didn't work properly but oh well.

[lazysublimeengineer]

snow on the beach

Summary: Weird, but fucking beautiful

Characters: Ken "Draken" Ryuuguji & Takashi Mitsuya

(A/N: Inspired by the Snow on the Beach track of T.S. feat Lana Del Rey in her Midnights album. The first time I’ve heard this song it made me think that this is the song for Doramitsu ship and no one can tell me otherwise. The lyrics is so beautiful and dreamy and makes you want to fall in love. And this is the whole concept of Doramitsu. I don’t own anything from the franchise. This wonderful manga is owned by Ken Wakui and this lyrical song is owned by Taylor Swift).

One night, a few moons ago

I saw flecks of what could've been lights

But it might just have been you

Passing by unbeknownst to me

Life is emotionally abusive

And time can't stop me quite like you did

And my flight was awful, thanks for asking

I'm unglued, thanks to you

“You gotta be more careful Taka.” Draken chastised Mitsuya in that familiar tone of his which made the other snickered slightly before he yelped when Draken dabbed the cotton a little bit firmer on the side of his bruised cheek.

“Oh, c’mon now Ken. You need to be used to it. This is just a scratch compared to what we faced in the past.” Mitsuya resisted the urge to whine at other.

“Oi. You just faced Taiju and his two strongest back ups inside that church earlier. What the hell we’re you even thinking going off alone in there? Tch.” Draken continued to berate him without any heat to his words but just that usual concern for him.

It made Mitsuya smiled softly at him. “I guess I was trying to resolve the matter without involving any of you because the riffraff was between us in the second squad and the Black Dragons. But I’m glad to see you there earlier. I really am.” Mitsuya replied in his usual lax voice but there was a genuine inflection of sincerity and something else passed by which made Draken’s eyes grew wide briefly before he turned away, feeling the heat rushed on his face.

“You should be. Can’t imagine you being there without me anyway.” He grumbled under his breath.

If Mitsuya’s gentle laughter sounded like a bell chiming in the sweet breeze of the wind that he could never get tired of listening, well, that’s on him and to remain a secret within him.

And it's like snow at the beach

Weird, but fucking beautiful

Flying in a dream

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me

Tonight feels impossible

But it's coming down

No sound, it's all around

The roaring sounds of Draken’s Zephyr reverberated against the asphalt road on a chilly night in October.

It slowly came into a screeching halt when it finally parked right outside Mitsuya’s house.

“Thanks for bringing me here.” Mitsuya said as he got off from his bike.

“Nah. That’s fine. Already dark and cold outside. And your Impulse really needed some tuning up. So, while it’s still on the shop I don’t mind doing this for you.” Draken replied with an offhanded grin on his face to which Mitsuya returned it with his signature languid smile of his.

Just as he was about to go back to his bike, Mitsuya’s hand caught his wrist and stopped him. He turned around and was about to question him when his breath got caught in his throat, Mitsuya was suddenly in a proximity beside him.

“You got these flecks of snow in your hair. Let me toss them away or it will become a hassle later when you drive on your Zephyr.” Mitsuya murmured as his gaze was focused on the task at hand.

Draken could only pray that Mitsuya wouldn’t be able to hear the loud thunderous beating of his heart inside his ribcage.

“There you go.” Mitsuya let out a satisfied hum under his breath as soon as he was done brushing off the flecks of snow away from his hair and stepped away.

Draken could only nod in response and kept the cool expression on his face, not trusting his voice to speak when he could still feel his heart stuttering wildly inside his chest.

“See you again tomorrow, Ken.” Mitsuya waved goodbye at him with that languid smile on his face and stepped inside his house, closing the door behind him.

It left Draken with a realization hitting him like a freight of train.

He’s in love with his best friend.

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow on the beach

Like snow, ah

Mitsuya was done with his usual grocery shopping during the weekends and he was already carrying the shopping bags from the supermarket outside when he stopped midway.

His breath got caught in his throat.

There stood Draken.

Leaning casually on a pole a few meters away.

He wore the dragon embroidered jacket that he gifted to him on his last birthday.

As if sensing his stare, Draken finally looked at him and waved at him with a small smile on his face.

Mitsuya waved back with a beaming smile of his own.

He ignored the way his heart does a strange flip inside his chest.

This scene feels like what I once saw on a screen

I searched "aurora borealis green"

I've never seen someone lit from within

Blurring out my periphery

My smile is like I won a contest

And to hide that would be so dishonest

And it's fine to fake it 'til you make it

Til you do, 'til it's true

“You should’ve called me, y’know?” Draken said without any preamble as he took the other’s shopping bags from him.

“Hello to you too.” Mitsuya greeted back with a hint of amusement lacing his words as he let him took the other bags from him.

“I passed by your house earlier and searching for you but your sisters said that you went out to the supermarket today. It’s more convenient if you just called me so that you won’t hail a cab because your bike is still in the shop.” Draken finally faced him with that familiar admonishing look on his face that made Mitsuya chuckled softly under his breath.

“Nah. It’s fine. Also, it’s weekend. I don’t wanna inconvenience you or anything.” Mitsuya replied lightly.

“C’mon now Taka. Being an inconvenience is the last thing that will be on my mind when it comes to you. You know that I’m just a one call away, right? Now hop in.” Draken gave him a lopsided grin.

His words made Mitsuya paused briefly, blinking at his words before a warm sensation spread throughout his veins.

Despite the cold breeze of wind in the snowy week of October, heat pooled around his face and he couldn’t stop the bright smile inching across his lips.

He could only shake his head faintly as he hopped on the bike.

It’s a good thing that he’s behind Draken because he couldn’t see the expression that he was making.

And it was probably a dumb look on his face that made his heart soar and soul sing in delight whenever he was beside him.

I can't speak, afraid to jinx it

I don't even dare to wish it

But your eyes are flying saucers from another planet

Now I'm all for you like Janet

Can this be a real thing? Can it?

Draken found Mitsuya sitting under the shade of a palm tree one night near the beach.

Mikey finally slept in one of the rooms in the hotel that they’re checking in after babysitting the blond who demanded to be carried on his back and feed him with food during the duration of their school outing the whole day.

Sometimes he wondered if his real role in the gang is to be the official babysitter of their President and not being the second in command of Toman.

“You’re not sleepy yet Taka?” Draken finally joined him and sat beside him under the tree.

“Nope. Just wanna watch the sea first at this time of the night because it’s quiet and peaceful.” Mitsuya replied idly.

Draken could only hum in response as his eyes also drifted at the sea in front of them. The gentle waves crashing mildly against the shore.

The silence was not uncomfortable to them and brought a tranquility between the two of them.

Only for it to be shattered with those simple yet meaningful words uttered by Mitsuya in the brilliant darkness of the night that left Draken’s mind reeling and heart almost jumping out of his ribcage.

His head spun around and looked at him with wide eyes.

His words got stuck in his throat.

“The moon is beautiful, isn't it?”

Are we falling like snow at the beach? (Snow at the beach)

Weird, but fucking beautiful

Flying in a dream (Flying in a dream)

Stars by the pocketful

You wanting me (You wanting me)

Tonight feels impossible

But it's coming down

No sound, it's all around

“Taka…” Draken finally breathed out as Mitsuya looked back at him with that heartwarming smile on his face yet his eyes were leaden with a downcast look.

Mitsuya didn’t wait for his reply as he abruptly stood up and dusted himself off. “It’s getting late! We need to head back because we have a lot of school activities for tomorrow and the teacher might check up on us.” He said in a rush and walked past him when Draken’s next words made him stopped midway.

“Yes, it is Taka. The moon really looks beautiful tonight.” Draken replied in a soft yet sincere voice, his hand reaching out for his wrist and gently took it to spun him slowly around in front of him.

Mitsuya swallowed thickly, his heart might burst out of his ribcage because of how loud his heartbeat was.

He wasn’t expecting anything from him and just wanted to let out the feelings that he buried for his best friend for so long.

But this might be one of those cold nights where it feels the warmest to him because he had the warmth of Draken’s love in the palm of his hand and vice versa.

“Can… Can I kiss you…?” Mitsuya asked in a shaky voice.

“I thought you’d never ask.” Draken chuckled softly under his breath before he pulled him gently closer to his frame and tilted his chin upwards towards his face, claiming his lips in a kiss that spoke of a thousand words between the two of them.

Like snow on the beach (Snow on the beach)

Like snow on the beach (Snow on the beach)

Like snow on the beach (Snow on the beach)

Like snow, ah

It's coming down

No sound, it's all around

(A/N: Reviews are amusing so let me hear them from you).

[ask-ikevamp-faust]

Ah, my darling, it’s a good thing that I can remedy those symptoms with a very simple prescription. I’ll give you as much time with me as you could ever want. Why don’t I come visit you tomorrow? I’ll bring you some dark chocolate brownies and offer to be your lab partner for the day, even if you just want me to sit on your desk and keep you company. After all, I could also use a break.

My week was exciting but rather stressful and busy. I found out that I have a meeting which could land me an important new research opportunity, so I’ve been preparing for that night and day. The only downside is that when I have something so important on my mind, I have a very hard time sleeping. My brain simply won’t stop running variables and assessing everything, but I think spending time with you will help. Your presence quiets my mind pleasantly, and I think I could find restful sleep in your bed.

Don’t worry, darling. Like all my friends, I care for Vlad and Charles, but you are my soul, the only one who I want to know intimately. However, I must admit that I find your overprotectiveness quite sweet. I adore knowing that you desire me so much. I’ll make a note of your wish to be the first one to taste all my new creations, but that could be difficult on days we don't see each other. Perhaps one day we will live together and that won't be an issue.

You're so sweet to me, my love. I adore the way you love me and listen to my ramblings so earnestly. I'll be glad to provide you as much light and warmth as you'd like. I'll also admit that I'm very curious about your new skill, but you should know that you already impress me every day. You're so loving and you show such wit and tenacity; you’re even able to pick up new talents so quickly and adjust to modern times. I wonder… I know you care for the children of the Church, but have you ever wanted children of your own? You say I’d be a wonderful mother, but I also think you’d be a wonderful father.

Oh, Johann… I want to grow closer to you and fall even more in love with you than I already am. I desire you so deeply that it almost hurts and you tempt me to fall even further under your spell with every passing day. I want you to bring me to bliss until your name is the only word on my lips; show me what it feels like to be completely ravished, body and soul, and I’ll do the same for you in return. Perhaps we should soundproof the lab or your bedroom… or both.

As for scenes I‘d want to recreate, I honestly tend to think the sexiest scenes are the ones that build up desire and lust between the characters to a breaking point. They don't always involve explicit sex, but I have a feeling we can quickly fix that problem. In addition to what we've already discussed, I've always found chapter forty-two of the book A Court of Mist and Fury to be particularly erotic, as well as the Past the Point of No Return scene from Phantom of the Opera. My last idea is a little more wicked, and I fear I'm blushing again while writing…. How would you feel about wearing a Ghostface mask during one of our little games of chase?

As for my somno hard limits, they'd be the same as my usual ones. Nothing that would permanently hurt/scar me or damage my reputation, and I'm all yours to take as you please. I trust you to care for me and keep me safe in everything we do. Goodness, you really do make me a flustered mess with every one of our exchanges. I don’t think you know the extent of the power you hold over me.

I very much enjoy pumpkin spice,especially in coffee, but my favorite fall treat is sweet potato pie. They're similar, but the sweet potato makes it even more delicious. Have you ever tried either of them? I'll have to make you a whole array of new fall treats to try. Actually, one of my favorite things to do is create a themed meal to go alongside a movie, and I've even done it to the extent that I make several meals to go throughout a whole marathon. Either way, I’d be delighted to have a movie night with you. Are there any movies or genres you’ve been curious to watch?

-L

Is this offer still available? Some research with bacteria growing in the lungs kept me occupied this week. The hospital’s offer wasn’t up for negotiation as it was something related to a patient currently being treated. I have no scheduled outside research for the time being so I have more time available. I really would love to spend some time with you enjoying your desserts. 

That sounds exciting, a great new research opportunity. Did your meeting day pass already? If so, how did it go? I understand overthinking, the mind never stops, that’s why forced breaks are necessary sometimes. I apologize for not being able to help you relax this past week. If you’re up for it I have something planned for tomorrow night, it should help you unwind. 

I’m glad you don’t seem to mind my overprotectiveness, I’m not sure if sweet is the word to describe it though. Don’t worry, at this time tasting every single creation is not possible, I’ll settle for the days we’re together. However, as time goes on I will get greedier… I may just whisk you away and bring you to the castle forever. 

Ah yes, that new skill… Did you know that nowadays there are special lenses created to help with the light that comes from all this technology? I thought it was fascinating. Apparently it’s to help reduce the damage to the eyes. I bought a new pair of glasses specifically for when I’m on this digital stuff, I suppose it’s not as bad as I originally thought… Moving on, children hmmm… When you ask if I've ever desired children of my own do you mean for an experiment? For instance, to be the sperm donor to a female vampire and a female human to compare the pregnancy, labor, and child development? Or do you mean just to start a family?... I must admit, I’ve never fully thought about starting a family before and I’m not sure I’d make a good father. However, if you were the mother of my children, I’d feel more confident. Working together with you to guide our children would be wonderful. 

When you say things like that it reminds me that I should be thankful for modern day advancements. It led to the creation of this app which in turn made our meeting possible. Of all the people I could’ve met both online and in person, I had the privilege of finding you. I agree, I should invest in soundproofing my rooms… Although I may also invest in a separate property if it’s possible, I’ll have to check the process with Vlad.

You have some very interesting ideas, I love them. I will see if I can find these things, or at least the sections you are talking about so I can better understand. Also, I wouldn’t mind wearing the ghostface mask for one of our games, but I’d like to know why? Where does this interest stem from? It sounds interesting.

Very well I will keep this in mind, I’ll be sure to take care of and respect you. You’re absolutely right, I’m completely unaware of the extent of the power I hold over you… Therefore I must continue to test it out and observe all your entertaining reactions. 

I’ve never had pumpkin spice before, what does it taste like? And I believe I’ve had steamed sweet potato before, it was an interesting snack. If you’d like to make something so I can try these two things, I’d be more than willing to try anything you make. Movies and meals sound interesting… I’ll need to ask Vlad to occupy Charles, I don’t want him to interrupt and I’d prefer my first movie night experience to be with you only. As for movies, I was recommended a series called Resident Evil, is it good? For genres, I'm interested in seeing what different each one has to offer, but if I’m not enjoying the film I don’t want to waste time finishing it. 

[angeltreasure]

Cecilia here. I did have some time to think on what you said, and being able to get off of work from the injury really has changed some perspective, Lent hasnt been a failure, rather productive actually. For example, I have been able to attend daily mass and adoration much easier, I've finished Story of a Soul, and picked up a new Chaplet to St. Anthony. I also went on retreat fine, the drive wasn't too bad. And I had a lot of revelations while there, I think I'm more contemplative than I had assumed, maybe completely active order religious isn't for me. We had adoration and we got to kneel right in front of the monstrance on the first night, and just be in front of Our Lord, like I could touch it that close. Literally I heard Him in my heart say Just Let Me Love You. I may have cried, the theme also during my prayers I found was God in relation to me doesnt want a soldier, He wants a bride. I'm used to fighting for what I have, having to be strong for my own survival, for whats right, for others, for protecting God's Word from defamation and slander, practically everything, but it felt like He is telling me to just be a bride, which I'm still learning how to do. Otherwise I'm gonna talk to my spiritual advisor tomorrow too, so I can get more clarity on everything, this is just a touch of everything. God Bless you sister Angel, I brought your journey to prayer and your intentions I'd seen online while on retreat, I hope that you're doing well, and your words are always so comforting in times of distress so praying for you and I hope you're doing well. Btw TLM is wonderful, do attend it if you need an option for your work hours, daily TLM is quite meditative since most of the Mass is done in silence.

It’s really interesting to watch where God leads us on our path. We think we have a steady mountain path up to clearing in the woods, but God has another plan. He sends you on the unexpected turn to a path that is rugged, a path which we are uncertain of the destination. Instead of the forest clearing, He leads His little lamb up to a clearing where you can see a beautiful view of the blue sky and sprawling mountain range. It’s like switching from being Martha to Mary. He invites some to listen to that still, small voice that begs your love in return, a surrender to His will: ‘Just let Me love you as my bride.’

To learn how to just be His bride feels similar as a mystery that I am feeling called on:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

You are going to learn how to be that bride by the charism of the religious order you look into. Once you find your top three over time, you will find a rich treasure of information about the founders and how they made the order to be. It can be a great solace and answer that tug you feel in your heart. Your spiritual director might be able to offer advice for sure about how to be a bride, even now as a layperson and have some Orders in mind.

The closest Catholic church to my house is a TLM only church. Might have to look at that website again. They lock a lot of church doors around.

Aww! Thank you for continuing to pray for me. I’m glad I can pray for you.