#i have this same rant in my head like every three months
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fabiansociety · 1 year ago
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every so often i remember the conversation about lighting in film and i get annoyed all over again
because the thing about film lighting is that film lighting is *expressive* and *subjective* and the fad for only using "believable" lighting to the point that scenes are invisible to the audience just blows right past that. the human eye isn't a camera! people can see in much lower lighting! if you only use the amount of light that would be present in a scene, you are frequently going to end up with a scene that is darker for the audience than it would be for the character IN the scene! that sort of darkness is just as artificial as theatrical light, but with the added bonus of not being able to see anything! argggggh
okay, i'm done, sorry about that
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bueckers-babygirl · 3 months ago
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I Need You pt.2 (paige bueckers x black!reader
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Part one <3
Summary: You and Paige finally unite
Warning: Just cursing
word count: 1757
Three months. It’s been three months since me and Paige went on our “break”. 
The first month was the hardest. Just a lot of crying, bargaining, rants, and Chipotle. I sat in my puddle of despair, wondering what Paige was doing.
What she was thinking, hoping the thoughts were about me.
My worst thought was thinking that she had moved on to someone new, or someone that has always been there.
The second month was the month that I told myself to stand the fuck up.
This month had its ups and downs. I moved in with my best friend who welcomed me with open arms. She’s been more than supportive since the very beginning. She comforted me, fed me when I didn’t feel like eating, and took the remote from my hands every time I felt like turning on a UConn game (I'm healing slowly but surely).
I even picked up a hobby! I started taking a ballet class to keep my mind off of things! My bleeding feet are a VERY good distraction.
The third month is when I felt like a new and healed me. My skin was clear, my curls were popping, my body was giving. I felt better.
However, no matter what I did or how much better I thought I was…I can’t get her out of my mind.
“Come on! You’ve been stuck in this house all day! It’s getting sad Mookie” my bestie, Quenlin, says while ripping the blanket from my body.
“My dance class got canceled today and new episodes of my show came out. I just thought I could lay here and wallow all day” I moan while pulling my hoodie over my face. I turn my head to see Quenlin shaking her head.
“Girl, you smell like ten cans of ass and your hair looks a mess. You cannot let this girl get to you like this” She turns to open the curtains.
The blinding light burns my eyes as I wince and pull a pillow over my face. She rolls her eyes as she lays next to me on the bed.
“Let’s go bar hopping tonight! You love that shit” she yells as she shakes my aching body! She wasn’t wrong, bar hopping was probably my favorite activity. I lay there and contemplate whether I should get cute and have fun or lay in the imprint I have made in the bed and cry.
“I’ll buy you Chipotle” and with those four words, I hopped in the shower, got dressed, and was ready to head out the door.
9:30 Pm
Me and I were on our second bar of the night and I felt alive again. I had flashes of images of Paige in my mind throughout the night but I decided I would deal with that issue when I went home. 
“Girl, can you go order us some drinks? I gotta piss real bad” Quenlin said, doing the potty dance at her grown age. 
“Go ahead, and stop doing that shit” I laugh as she waddles off to the bathroom. I make my way up to the bar and order me and my friend vodka cranberries. 
I twiddled my thumbs waiting for the drinks, when I finally heard it.
“Hey beautiful” My body froze when I heard the voice I had longed for so much but also dreaded hearing. I slowly turned my head to see the beautiful blonde that had been occupying my mind for months.
She looked so good, but also drained.
Words tried so hard to leave my mouth but nothing came out.
“You look good. Like, good. Guess the break up was good to you” She lets out an awkward laugh as I am still in shock but gain the ability to speak.
“Eh. It was ok for me. A lot of crying hehe” I mentally slap myself, who the fuck says that. 
“Yeah, same” She looks down at her feet trying to figure out what to say next.
“Listen, can we talk, please? I wanna fix this. I-”
“Unh Unh! What are you doing here” Quenlin appears from thin air as she jumps in front of me to confront Paige. This breaks me out of my trance as I jump to defend Paige. 
“No, Quen! It’s ok! Me and her are just going to talk outside” I put my hands on my best friend's shoulders to calm her down. She turns to look at me and then back at Paige.
“Fine, but if you try some manipulative shit, it’s me and you” she pokes piage with her finger before walking away. Paige looks back at me “I never liked her. I just want you to know that.”
I laughed as I walked to the door, Paige following close behind. When we get a good distance away from the bar we stop and just look at each other.
I can tell she’s trying to find words to say, I couldn’t find any either.
We stood in silence for a few more minutes before one of us finally spoke.
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I made you feel like shit for so many months. You should have been my priority and I didn’t do that” Paige let out a shaky breath before looking down at the ground. I waited for her to continue but….she just stopped.
“Paige…that's not the only reason why I wanted to take a break. Yes, you ignoring me was a big part of it but there was so much more” She finally raises her head to look me timidly in the eyes.
I take a shaky breath before continuing. “It was the petty comments, the constant arguing, and the insecure feeling I always felt” I started choking up on my words, and the memories of me and the girl I love screaming at each other came flooding back.
“I'm sorry! I was just so stressed with basketball, the interviews, and the constant attention that I guess I got stressed” She quickly tried to defend herself, flailing her arms in the air.
“I understand how stressful that could be but…I would've been there for you. I could've listened to your rants, helped you during solo practice, and helped you calm down when you were nervous about an interview…but you shut me out and started bullshit arguments for no reason. I love you so much. I just wanted to help you” I felt a tear roll down my face.
I saw Paige’s face change from defensive to vulnerable in the middle of the conversation.
I let out a sigh as Paige drops her head, tears falling down her pretty face. “Paige, I love you so much. You’re probably the best thing that has happened to me in a long time” I take her hands in mine “but when we have an issue, you can’t just shut me out or brush it off. We need to talk. We need to express ourselves or else it’s just gonna get worse.”
Paige raises her head once more, looking into my brown eyes with her bloodshot blue eyes. “I know…I wanna be better for you baby. I will do anything to make it up to you. I just want things to go back to the way they were” She brings my hand to her lips, placing a tender kiss upon them.
I felt my skin turn hot as her lips connected to my skin, it’s kind of funny how we were together for so long and she still managed to make me nervous.
“I know it seems like an empty promise but I swear I will do everything that I can to make it up to you. I’ll communicate better and I will make sure to do everything that I can to remind you that you're the love of my…I can’t fucking lose you again y/n” she wraps her arms around my body, leaving another kiss on the top of my head.
On instinct, I wrap my arms around her to as I close my eyes to breathe in her perfume.
I was still angry with her but somehow I knew deep down that she was serious about wanting to be better for me. 
She pulls back to look into my eyes before she places an unexpected but loving kiss on my lips. I felt like I was floating on air as my lips touched the ones that they have been craving for three months. With this simple act, she knew that I forgave her 
As we pull away she rests her forehead on mine. 
“Can we just start over please, I miss you so much” Paige giggles while also sniffling. 
I let out a snort as I placed my hand on her cheek “Well we got a long way to go until we are back to the same place but, I think we’ll be ok”.
2 days later
“Ok! I think that’s the last of my shit” I let out a sigh of relief placing the last bit of my clothes back into me and Paige’s shared closet. I fell back into our bed, missing the smell of our sheets. 
I let out a grunt as Paige ran into the room and jumped on top of me. “Jesus Paige! I think you broke one of my ribs” I try to push her off of me as I let out a laugh.
Paige keeps her position on top of me as she puts her face into the crook of my neck. “I'm sorry, baby. I'm just happy you're back” she sighs as she kisses my neck.
“Ew, can yall wait to fuck until after I leave,” Quenlin says as she brings me some more of my stuff in from the car. I laugh as Paige finally rolls off me with a dramatic groan.
I walk over to Quenlin take the box of stuff from her hands and place it on the floor. “Thank you for letting me stay with you,” I say as I hug her.
“Of course, anytime! However, if this shit happens another time me and Paige are gonna have to tussle. You hear me” she yells towards Paige.
“I love you too, Quen” Paige blew a kiss to her.
Quen rolls her eyes before giving me a kiss on the cheek and leaving. 
“Why must y’all fight over me”
“Because you’re the most important thing to us, baby” Paige leaves another kiss on my lips before hopping back onto the shared bed that I will never leave again.
Y'all I am so fuckin sorry this came out so late! But here yall go <3
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wynnyfryd · 8 months ago
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Trailer park Steve AU pt 56
part 1 | part 55 | ao3
March
"Steve, honey," Claudia calls from the living room, where he can hear her shuffling around to get her things ready for work — the rustle of a jacket, the clink of keys against her thermos. "Do you need anything before you go?"
"I'm fine, Ma!" Steve answers.
And he is. He is fine. It’s been three weeks, and Steve is fine! He has a date tonight with a girl he doesn’t care about, and he's gonna cheer on Lucas at the championship game, and the other day at work he got a fifty cent per hour raise. And sure, his nightmares are worse than ever and his head aches all the time, and he’s had some weirdly persistent sinus infection or some shit going on, but he only teared up once this week while jerking off to thoughts of Eddie, so.
All in all, not bad.
He shoves a plain bagel in his mouth and rushes to leave the house; passes Claudia on the way out, who's now rapping her knuckles impatiently against Dustin’s door and asking, “Dusty, what’s going on in there? You’re gonna be late!" to which Dustin replies with a panicked shriek: “DON’T COME IN, I’M NAKED!”
Jesus Christ. "Deafen my other ear, why don't you?" Steve mutters under his breath.
He throws Ma a parting wave and heads out to pick up Robin so he can take her to school before his shift starts. She looks nicer than usual, and she won’t stop reapplying her mascara, and by the time Object of My Desire starts playing on the radio Steve is practically begging her to just suck it up and end this will-they-won’t-they thing with Vickie because it’s been months of obvious flirting and Robin still won’t make a move.
“I listen to you, and now look at me!” he argues, as if the handful of pointless dates he’s used to distract himself from Eddie are anything to look at. “Boom. Back in business.“
“Mm,” she objects, a little ‘you’re so full of shit’ frown on her face. “Not the same thing.”
Don’t say it, you bitch, don’t even—
“You ask out a girl and she says no…”
Oh, thank fuck. Steve sags in relief and licks the corner of his mouth as he listens to her rant, grateful that she’s just working the small town homophobia angle and very graciously not pointing out how half-hearted and sad his attempts to move on with his life have been. It’s a small mercy he repays by rambling about girls and boobies and girls who definitely like boobies until she scowls so hard at him that she smudges her mascara and has to apply another coat.
Dustin calls the store some time around lunch. Asks if Steve wants to sub in for Lucas at tonight’s Hellfire campaign, which, first of all, fuck you — he’s been helping Lucas practice for months now, he’s not about to miss this game — and secondly:
“What, to hang out with you and Eddie the Freak Munson?” he asks, idly playing with a slinky. “Uh, yeah. I’ll pass.”
"Dude."
"What?"
"You can’t just call him names because you’re pissed at him! That’s not cool!”
Steve rolls his eyes and tugs the slinky so hard it flops off the counter’s edge.
“Look,” Dustin says, his voice dipping into that low and slow and trustworthy thing that makes Steve want to snap the kid’s non-existent collarbones. “I know you won’t tell me what happened, but whatever it was, he’s sorry, okay? He’s really, really sorry. And he asks me about you, like, every day; if I didn’t know any better I’d swear he was in love with you or something.” Steve chokes on his own spit, and Dustin just keeps going; steps right over Steve’s corpse to continue his impassioned plea. “Besides, friends forgive each other! Right, Steve?”
Goddammit. Steve really regrets saying those exact words in that exact order the last time Lucas and Dustin had a fight. “Man, you can’t just use my own brotherly advice against me.”
“I can, and I will.” Wow. What a little shit. “Seriously, dude, come on! How many times do I have to pass on his apology messages before you just talk to him?”
How many times? How many times?
Steve doesn’t know.
He just knows he’s not ready; knows that as soon as he talks to Eddie, it’ll make it all real. It’ll be over for good. Whatever words they exchange next will get etched into the headstone of the thing they briefly had. He opens his mouth to say something, to try and make sense of the vortex in his head, but all he gets for the effort is a fresh migraine coming on.
He’s saved from answering by the doorbell’s chime. “I got some customers,” he says over Dustin's squawk of protest. “Gotta call you back, bye.”
part 57
tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)
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zumek0 · 6 months ago
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draft 05; fushiguro, m.
↪︎ angst but very mild?, comfort, college/university au, no curses au, reader is very stressed.
↝ summary: megumi comforts you after you break down due to academic stress.
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There’s a feeling of pressure on your chest, and a growing pit of despair in your stomach. You fucked up. Big time. Your teacher had given you a topic to make a presentation about a month ago and yet here you were, a week before your due date, not even having a clue of what the hell the topic was. As you stare into the google calendar tab open in your laptop you realize that not only were you supposed to present the topic in a week, but also turn in two different group assignments and an individual one. On the same day.
Almost mechanically you pick up your phone and open the messenger app. 
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Megumi’s always been more of a night owl. His body is used to staying awake until sunlight threatens to spill over the horizon. He knows it’s not healthy but even if he tries to sleep at a normal, decent hour his mind remains restless. So he does what he’s able to: assignments, projects, pre-reading for lectures, reading books he enjoys or has been wanting to read, listen to music, make playlists with songs that fit the vibe of a very specific picture of you he has in his gallery, watch a movie, etc. 
It’s 11:56 p.m. when his phone starts vibrating over and over again. He can’t help the feeling of irritation that bubbles up inside him, thinking that Yuuji or Nobara are spamming the group chat with TikTok slideshows of “ask your friends which ‘blank’ are you!”. Although the feeling is immediately replaced with worry and slight curiosity when he sees it’s you who has been spamming him for three minutes straight.
His eyebrows furrow when he notices you’re texting with correct spelling, no emojis, no jokes in the middle of the conversation and capitalizing the first letter of every text. He reads over the messages you’ve sent so far to grasp an understanding of the situation. When he gets to the bottom of the chat, he gets up and grabs his shoes and keys while still paying attention to the still incoming messages you’re sending him.
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You’re startled when you hear a soft knock at your door, stilling your fingers from expertly moving across the keyboard on your phone. Your eyes remain on the door while you wait for the sound to repeat itself, just in case you misheard or imagined it. Your phone vibrates softly on your hands, displaying a text from Megumi: “open the door”. You get up and do as he ordered. 
Once he’s inside your small campus room, he speaks. “Okay, now tell me everything slowly.” You do.
“… oh, did I also mention that I have two midterms that same week? And that quiz that we were supposed to present last week but the teacher changed last minute.” You can feel the headache creeping up your spine. You bring your hands to your head and rub your temples.
“And I know what you’re gonna say: ‘complaining about it isn’t gonna help you at all’” you make your voice sound deeper and more monotone to make it sound like his, “It’s just- It’s really frustrating. I don’t know why I can’t seem to just sit down and do things, like you do!”. 
He doesn’t say anything and you’re thankful for that. “It’s like—I know I have stuff to do, and I know it’s very important that I do it right. But I just can’t seem to ever find the motivation to do it. And then I’m left in spots like this one where I’m gonna have to pull a miracle out of my ass to actually turn in everything I have to turn in this week.” He listens to your rant patiently. Even rubbing your thigh when he notices your eyes crystallizing and tears starting to well up in the corners of your eyes.
After sitting in silence for what feels like hours, he finally speaks. “Do you want reassurance or a solution?” “Both. More reassurance though.” You both move to make yourselves more comfortable. 
He’s sitting down in the floor with his back against the side of your mattress. One of his legs is bent and the other is stretched. Your head is now resting on his outstretched thigh. His long fingers find themselves running through your hair, an action that you commonly direct towards him whenever he finds himself unable to fall asleep while sleeping over in your room.
“I think you’re gonna make it out of this.” His voice Is soft, but assertive. “And yes, you have some awful time-management skills that we need to work on,” a snort leaves your nose “However last time you were able to give that other presentation while only having studied two days prior. If you try hard enough, everything will be okay. We’ll be okay. I’m gonna help you.”
You’re pretty sure the tears are running down your face at this point. You sniff tour nose. “Thank you.” Megumi leans down and gives your forehead a kiss. “But now, we need to get some rest. We both have early clases tomorrow. Well, today, technically.”
You get up from your position and make it to your bed. He’s hugging you while your head is on top of his chest. From this position you’re able to hear his heartbeat slowly lulling you to sleep.
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can you tell i’m proyecting with this one? i literally wrote it at midnight. stress is eating me alive, so please excuse me if this seems like a self insert. i know people who are currently dealing with a lot in uni, so i hope this can help you if you’re going through the same.
—han
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sunnyie-eve · 9 months ago
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1 | Triplets
Series: Unexpected
Paring: (Matt Sturniolo x OFC Brock!) (Chris Sturniolo x OFC Brock!)
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings: none
| MASTERLIST |
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~
Sam and Colby were now mostly known for their ghost hunting videos on YouTube. At times Colby would bring his younger sister, Dani, along since she was so interested into it. Like for this trip to Austin Texas to investigate the Driskill Hotel, she was tagging along with him and Sam.
"Dani, you seem very excited for this video." Sam says as they wait for the Sturniolo Triplets to show up.
"Do I?" She smiles a bit since she was excited to see Nick in person.
Her and Nick have been friends online for the past like two years and never have gotten the chance to meet up yet. So for this collab between them and the triples were their first time getting to see each other in person.
"Yes, you do. You excited to be here or you get to meet the triplets?" Sam gives her a look as Colby was busy.
"Sam, seriously?" She laughs.
"I'm playing with you." He gives her a hug.
After a while the Triples show up and everyone handshakes except Dani and Nick giving each other a hug. They all chat for a bit before starting to film.
"What's up guys it's Sam and Colby." Colby starts.
"Today we have..." Sam starts.
"Me!" Dani hops into frame.
"Yep, my sister." Colby smiles.
"But is it just me?" Dani says with a smile as well tilting her head.
"We have some very special guests today too. You have literally been asking us every single month to collab with theses people. The Sturniolo Triples!" Colby interduces them.
"Are you excited?" Dani asks them so they all agree, " Gonna be a good night."
"I hope to find triple ghost tonight." Chris says making everyone laugh.
"Scared at all or nervous?" Colby asks them, "Or just excited?"
"I'm scared." Chris answers honestly.
"Let's not front. I'm terrified." Nick says for himself.
"It's gonna be fine, Nick." She gives him a reassuring smile.
Dani was the type of person everyone felt safe and comfortable around, even if they knew each other, hardly did, or not at all.
"Better be,"
"I don't even go on rollercoasters. I don't do anything scary." Chris lets the other three know.
"Tonight will be a rollercoaster of emotions." Dani says causing him to laugh with her.
"I wanna do the Estes Method." Nick changes the topic.
"I remember you telling me that." Dani nods her head.
"You two have talked before this?" Matt asks looking at the two.
"We're friends. Benn talking to her for a year or more now. She's like one of my best friends. But this is our first time meeting face to face." Nick explains to his brothers.
"I had no idea." Colby looks at Dani.
She just looks at him knowing what he was thinking, "You've never asked."
"Our secret friendship is gone." Nick laughs.
"I can't believe this..." Matt says surprised. He thought Nick would have told him he was friends with Colby's younger sister.
"Who knew Nick could be so secretive? And not tell us." Chris adds.
"It's not that big of a secret." Nick rolls his eyes.
"Okay, what's your guys believably scale on this stuff?" Colby changes the subject back to the video.
"I'm like at a 9.5 honestly." Chris shocks Sam and Colby.
"I'm a 10 but I have no reason to be at a ten. Like nothing has happened to me to be like at a ten. But I'm at a ten." Nick says his.
"I'd say eight." Matt keeps his short before they walk around.
"Nick, loves guys with facial hair." Chris jokes as they al walk over to the big painting.
"Stop speaking forever." Nick points at him.
"He's not wrong, you do." Dani adds.
"So do you." Nick gives her a look.
"Hey, it depends if they can pull it off or not. If no, I'll shave it myself. And it works the same around. Some people with facial hair look weird with a clean face. Like grow it back, please." Dani goes on a little rant.
"Okay, now the whole world know how you feel. Also I need like a copy of this in my room." Nick talks about the painting and frame.
"Excuse me?" Colby asks looking at the camera causing everyone to laugh.
"The frame and everything. The frame is very ornate." Nick pleads his case.
"Whatever you say." Matt laughs.
"The frame id very ornate." Chris mocks Nick.
"It's a pretty frame." Dani says to have Nick's back.
"She gets it." Nick high-fives Dani.
"You two are going to kill me." Colby shakes his head at the two.
"Good." Dani pats his back making his eyes widen.
"This guy is gonna haunt us in our sleep." Sam tells the group as they all just stare at the painting.
"I can't wait to meet big Daddy D." Chris says.
"I wonder if he's just is like always around his picture frame, like he loves just being here." Nick keeps his eyes on the painting.
"So a ghost who loves looking at himself?" Dani looks away from it and Chris cracks up.
"Oh, I love the carpeted stairs." Nick says as the make their way up to the second floor.
"I hate them actually." Matt adds, "I feel like I'm gonna fall when I walk on carpet."
Dani was shocked by hearing him say that, "Like in general or only on the stairs?" She asks him.
"In general,"
"Huh, you're odd." She can't help but laugh at him.
"Dani, don't expect anything normal from Matt." Chris speaks up so Matt tells him to shut up.
The second floor only felt weird to Dani since it was so open, "They need to put more furniture up here."
"That's what I was thinking." Chris agrees with her.
"Any of you guys know how to play the piano?" Matt asks seeing one in the middle the the room.
"Do you?" Sam asks him.
"Dani knows one song. I'm jealous of her." Nick walks over to see if it's open for her to play.
"Wait, you can play the piano?" Colby asks not knowing that about her.
"As Nick said, one song."
"What song do you know?" Matt asks her.
"Fly me to the moon,"
"It's closed. I probably shouldn't open it." Nick gets upset, "I wanted to hear Dani play."
"Honestly, I'm happy. I'd be too nervous to play in front of you guys and a camera." She walks away from it.
"I'd love to walk into another room later and then just hear the piano playing." Chris touches the piano.
"Yes!" Dani agrees, loving the idea.
"That'd be fun."
"You two are crazy." Nick looks at them as they smile wanting it to happen badly, "Since knowing Dani, I never thought she'd get along with either Matt or Chris." He adds.
"Why?" Colby asks curious since he was protective of her.
"Just her vibes,"
"I never thought that..." Dani looks over at Matt and Chris. They both seemed funny and great from just their videos.
"Maybe just Matt." Chris decides to mess around with him.
"What?! What's wrong with me?" He asks him.
"Obviously something to them." Sam laughs.
"There's nothing wrong with him." Dani shakes her head with a little grin.
"You'll take that back getting to know him." Chris laughs while Matt glares at his brother.
"Topic change," Colby speaks up again, "Who's do you think is the most scared?"
"Yeah, who's scaredy-cat?" Dani asks.
Both Matt and Nick point at Chris and he points at himself agreeing as well, "At least you aren't embarrassed to admit it." Dani tells him before Nick explains they hate horror stuff.
He goes on to say he saw his first horror movie because he had to in a film studies class in school. That they've never done a haunted house ever, the three of them. And Matt adds that they bailed on an escape room because it was too scary.
"Why are you doing this?" Colby asks them.
"Welcome to the channel guys." Sam smiles.
"I'm surprised that we're present right now." Nick laughs, "But we're gonna do it."
"Yeah, it's gonna be awesome. There's only 90 ghosts that roam here every second." Colby tells the camera.
"I'm excited to meet them all." Nick says excitedly.
"I got like the cold sweats." Matt pays his pits, "I'm freezing but I'm sweating."
"You guys could easily do like a deodorant brand deal." Chris says fake putting in deodorant.
"People would literally buy it. No doubt." Dani leans on Colby's back wrapping her arms around him, "Make more money to spend on me to go on trips." She smiles so he pushes her away playfully.
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akiraiscute · 10 months ago
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Yandere!Killua X Hunter!Reader
Tw ; Yandere shit, gore (idk what to add)
KILLUA IS A CHILD IN THIS AND SO IS READER. SO ITS NOTHING ELSE THAN KISSING AND HUGGING AND CUDDLING.
Yet all of this could off been avoided, everything could off been avoided if you didn’t go to the hunter exam. Everything, every last detail, every single word you said to both of them but here the fuck you are. Hugging the person who is absolutely obsessed with you, yes you don’t know but still.. its such a horrible move but you’re here with gon, Killua can’t just confess his love for you in front of gon or that blonde guy and black hair guy! That would make it awkward as well. But You were worried sick about killua, you even came with gon and uh, Kurapika and Le- Leorio.. Doesn’t that mean you care about him? If he even thinks about it, he gets this weird feeling. Killua doesn’t like that weird feeling at all.
“Kil! You’re bruised?! Are you okay?!”
“Oh..oh im fine..”
“You don’t look fine!”
“Oh shut up gon!…”
Killua said embarrassed as his reddening face got called out by gon, again. Leorio and kurapika smiled at the three, adoring this scene as it played. They both started to laugh a bit.. Just because he gets red around you, doesn’t mean shit! Doesn’t mean he has a crush on you, not at all. That’s weird! Super duper weird! But, but seeing you get even more worried for him, was making him weak.. isn’t that a bad sign?! Being weak is bad, right..? Yea! It is! He can’t stand you making him suddenly weak, just because you care about him doesn’t matter! Doesn’t mean anything either.. God, maybe Killua was head over heels for you, maybe he would just.. confess his love, maybe. And maybe! You’ll say yes and you two could live happily, away from his family too… god he wanted that. He didn’t want his fucked up family to take you away, nor take him away from you. He can’t stand being away fro- What is he thinking! He just met you, maybe a few weeks ago! Or a month ago! He can’t be talking like this about you. Ugh..
“Let’s go already, my mother may already be heading this way.”
“Oh! Okay!”
“What is your mother like anyways?”
That made Killua’s gears turning. He started to rant about his mother doing stuff, crazy stuff. Might i add.. Walking past the servants or whatever and kept talking as gon and you said bye and ran after him, Kurapika and leorio doing the same but walking. When You five got outside, kurapika started to speak, sorta talking over Killua but Killua didn’t mind as along as he got to look at you really, maybe he’s realizing he’s obsessed.. maybe he is! Maybe he’s gonna try stopping himself from doing anything.
After the two left, Killua was already talking to gon about him beating hisoka. He tried to show how far away gon was from hisoka as well, making sure gon knows.
“What about you?”
Gon asked before Killua immediately made the line medium size.. Killua thought he was so humble, yea right but it made you laugh. He.. he made you laugh right?! That counts, he made you laugh… god he was going to think this over in his head over and over, gon groaned as he let out another sigh, not knowing what to do even. Before Killua suggested to go to heavens arena, which both of you and gon found that going to heavens arena was a good idea! Even if you both don’t even know what heavens arena is..
You three got the tickets online, and was on the airline as soon as it was there. Both gon and killua talking, sometimes you adding in as well.. as you were just tired from going to killua’s house even! God, opening those big ass doors were horrible for you and your back.. you yawned before leaning back into your seat, finally falling asleep as Killua and Gon were talking until Killua noticed you sleeping and he stared at you sleeping so peacefully.. he felt sorta at peace for that at least you were sleeping and not hurt. He zoned out really before Gon snapped him out of it really.
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Im tired soso, Everything i do will have a part two prob😭😭 but have this my bbys, finally getting into my hxh stuff😊🫶
— Aki.. Akira… Loggi.. Logging… off..
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utilitycaster · 6 months ago
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no d20 spoilers here since i know you know the gist of the drama but the fact that both kipperlilly (and the ratgrinders as a whole) and laudna are sending the their respective fandoms into meltdowns is FASCINATING to me!!! Especially happening at roughly the same time
I am now officially caught up and. not to brag but, called it re: the Rat Grinders, huh, except it's even more stupid. Like. The "but they're literally minors?" argument sort of falls apart given that they're the same age as the Bad Kids, and are actively trying to kill them, the "but redemption" argument doesn't mean shit since at no point did they make any forays towards redemption and indeed sicced a bunch of dragons on the Bad Kids, and so we're left with nothing but an impotent desire to not have a sick-ass battle in the finale of a D20 Campaign. And, perhaps, an uncomfortable realization that they are not unlike the Rat Grinders and the narrative said "lmao yeah you suck".
Laudna's shit? not that different actually. Like there's a lot of reasons why the arguments defending her are bullshit but the biggest one is that the "Laudna has never done anything wrong ever in her life and Imogen is her tether" crowd have painted themselves into a delightfully tiny little corner and they can't hide it anymore. Like, okay, so, is Laudna in control of her actions? Because if so she just attacked Orym in the middle of the night. Is she not? Because if so why hasn't she made the efforts that Chetney and FCG and Imogen (at least sometimes) did to address that? If the issue is trauma why is hers more valid than that of others? If it's abuse tell me how you feel about Caleb, Fjord, Beau, and Percy? Why is Orym shutting down the conversation when he says the Vanguard killed his family but Laudna's not doing the same when she tells Ashton not to speak to her of loneliness and Chetney not to speak to her of loss when she doesn't have a monopoly on either?
Why is it Bells Hells' job to endlessly accomodate Laudna and why are so many people suddenly talking about Bells Hells as an abstract 7-headed entity that didn't deal with Laudna's problems when those same people (if they were around at the time of the gnarlrock airing, and many of them weren't) were like "NO THEY SHOULD MAKE UP AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND IMOGEN IS A BITCH BECAUSE LAUDNA DIDN'T MEAN IT." Why wasn't it an issue for them when Laudna's ranting about her time in Issylra and how hard it was got shut down by Imogen kissing her because that's why it didn't stay in the spotlight. Why wasn't it an issue for them when Imogen said "if you need her, that's my answer"? Why is it Orym or "Bells Hells" in the abstract who never spent time on Laudna's trauma after months if not years of throwing a fit any time someone (often me) (not always though) pointed out how much Imogen and Laudna were shoving under the rug and not dealing with? What does it say that you can't even expect Laudna's partner to be the one supporting her through this- it has to be Orym? Why doesn't Laudna have any responsibility here? At minimum she could have spoken up about the sword at at least two if not three junctures and she didn't.
There's a lot of things I hold in contempt, and after the obvious things like bigotry, two I really detest are hypocrisy and dereliction of responsibility. It's been extremely telling with both the D20 and CR discourse that people do not like seeing the story and the fandom say "hey actually you need to take responsibility for your actions, you only get redemption if you work for it, and if you leave a room hoping someone will follow you without saying that's what you want? Don't be surprised if no one does." The reason everyone was preparing to stop Laudna was because she was, in every action and decision, showing herself to be a person in need of being stopped. Can you describe this perfect balance of gentleness in which she's never pushed too hard but she does talk about her trauma and work through it and in doing so leaves Delilah? Have you demanded any other member of Bells Hells be granted that same gentleness and patience and kindness or do you think Orym should get over his grief because it's inconvenient to your arguments.
Just as the Rat Grinders show the narrative saying "being an entitled, resentful, jealous person who hurts others from jealousy makes you an easy tool to be manipulated into cruelty and you need to deal with that," I think Laudna shows the narrative (and certainly the fandom) saying "you do have an obligation to deal with your trauma, especially if it causes you to hurt others, and you can ask for help but you can't just sit on your ass waiting for someone else to initiate the process for you" as well as "if you do hurt people because of your trauma they may be angry with you, this may shape how they see you, and they are justified in that because you hurt them" and I think people in both fandoms hate being told that because I think a lot of the people sparking the discourse really do think that you can shield yourself from criticism over your hurtful actions by claiming trauma or neurodivergence or mental illness or whatever and it's like, no, you do still suck, you just also had sucky things happen to you as well.
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elliesfavbae · 5 months ago
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Are you nervous, flower? - first kiss with Ellie, part 1
synopsis: Your more experienced at kissing best friend helps you out
Pairing: Ellie Williams x unexperienced!reader
warnings: just a fluff, my first fic too (how do i crop a pic)!
part two, part three
wc: ab 1500
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It was a hot summer day. Like 32 degrees celsius outside. The sweet space of your room was no better. You were BOILING, everything sticking to your skin. Ellie could’ve said the same, sitting next to you in your room. It was like she was a part of your room’s scenery at this point, she was there almost all the time. You have been friends since you remember, spending every while with each other. Ellie recently broke up with her girlfriend and she was ranting about it:
“I let her be my girlfriend for two months for what?! So she can cheat on me WITH A MAN?” She emphasizes the last three words
It seemed like she wasn’t upset about losing her, just was frustrated she “wasted” so much time, as she describes it.
“I’m telling you, she wasn’t worth it” You try to comfort her. But the amount of times she has told you about her break up within the last week is uncountable, and you can’t think of any good responses anymore.
“Yeah, I know” Ellie rolls her eyes at your answer and groans, throwing her head back.
“It could’ve been worse though. Like, you could’ve been together for a year or something” You try again but it doesn’t seem to work well and Ellie sighs.
“Two months is a long period of time anyways. You don’t understand, you’ve never had a girlfriend” She whines, throwing herself next to you on your bed.
“Hey!” You throw a pillow at her. “I still have time” 
“Okay, okay” She puts her hands up in a defensive gesture. She’s making fun of your lack of romantic relations whenever she can. “But you can do like, a lot of things in two months in a relationship“
“A lot of things? Like..?” You look at her, curiosity in your eyes as a thought occurs in your mind “Like… have you done the deed?”
“What? No! Ew, don’t say it like that” Another groan escapes Ellies’ lips and she hides her face in hands. “We just… Kissed. A lot. Unlike you” She smirks as she finds another reason to make fun of you.
You don’t say anything because you know it’s true. Yeah, you haven’t kissed anyone yet. It’s not like you didn’t want to, you just… Never had a chance.
“Actually, why have you never kissed?” She turns right to face you. There is no malice in her voice, just pure curiosity.
You drop your gaze down “I don’t know I just… I haven’t had a good opportunity, I guess?”
“Bullshit. If you wanted to do it, you’ve already done it. Seriously, with that pretty face of yours?” She jokingly strokes your cheek
Your gaze is still running away from Ellie’s inquisitive irises. Suddenly, it feels like the temperature just increased by another 32 degrees.
“I guess I am just too nervous to do it. I have, like, no idea how to kiss” You admit
A chuck escapes Ellie’s lips “Sorry, shouldn’t be laughing but it sounds ridiculous. You’ve never kissed because you don’t know how? Yet you don’t even want to try” Ellie really tries not to laugh but can’t help a giggle which she tries to cover with a cough
“It’s just not that easy as it sounds. Not for me” Though she is laughing, you don’t feel amused. You realized it’s true, you’re actually scared to kiss.
“Listen, I’m really sorry” The girl says when she sees your serious expression. Ellie puts her hand on your arm “What if someone… showed you?” Her lips curl into a playful smile
I finally let my gaze meet your eyes “Like a movie?” You awkwardly chuckle, trying not to jump to any conclusions.
“No dumbass, like a person would actually… teach you. Would that make you less nervous?” Ellie suddenly sounds kind and now it’s her gaze that runs away from your eyes.
I gulp. It’s obvious what Ellie means now “Like… you want to kiss me?” You ask, a ray of hope creeping into your voice
“No, I, uh. I don’t necessarily want to, I just want to be a good friend and help you out” She sounds so nervous all of a sudden.
“Well, yeah sure, you can steal my first kiss” I say sarcastically, but to be honest you actually want her to help me out.
“Alright, come here” Ellie’s confident again, she pats a space on your bed in front of her, inviting you to sit closer.
You take a deep breath as you change your position, fake yawning to check for bad breath hoping Ellie didn’t notice that. But she did.
“I don’t care about your breath, really” She chuckles again but it doesn’t sound annoying. Not anymore.
“It's not like I thought you would, I know you won't judge me and-” I start mumbling because of the nerves “fuck I don’t even know what I’m saying” I admit with a sigh and an awkward smile.
“Are you nervous, flower?” She brings her hands to your cheeks and gently strokes them and you feel dizzy as if the blood left your whole brain, but in reality it’s quite the opposite. A blush creeps on your cheeks. Ellie has never called you a name like that before.
“I promise it will feel nice” Your best friend half-whispers and you feel like the whole world is spinning. You must have a real stupid look on your face but you don’t even care at this moment.
“So,” she starts “It’s all about what you do before the kiss” She puts her hands down and looks you into the eyes. Then her gaze lands on your mouth and your eyes again.
“You should look them into the eyes, at their lips, and into the eyes again.” She bites her lip “Extra points if you do that.” You are so lost in this moment you don’t really listen to her anymore. You can smell her cologne and shower gel. You can feel how hard your heart is pumping, too.
“And if you’re bold enough” She stops to bring her hand to your ear and she tucks a strand of hair behind it “You can do this. Trust me, it works” But you’re a living proof it works, as well as the damp spot on your underwear is.
“So? Are you ready?”
At first, you forget words in your throat. You clear it, and answer, your voice just a whisper “...Yeah”
She puts her hands on your cheeks once again and pulls you closer. You watch as she closes her eyes, so you do the same. And then you feel her lips on yours. It doesn’t feel like you imagined, it’s wet and slippery. But she was right, it feels really nice. She sucks gently on your lower lip, tilting her head, so you do the same to her upper lip. You feel so many things at once, yet you feel numb at the same time. Butterflies in your stomach going crazy, the smell of her warm skin, soft lips against yours, confident fingers holding your cheeks, her saliva mixing with yours, throbbing between your legs. The only sound in the room is this wet kissing sound you are making and your heartbeat. And, did you hear that right, a whimper from Ellie? The kiss lasted about five seconds, but it felt like eternity to you. 
Ellie pulls away from the kiss. She keeps her hands on your face and you already miss her soft lips.
“So? How did your first kiss feel?” That’s all she says as if nothing has happened. As if she didn’t just kiss her best friend for the first time.
You touch your lips with your fingers, like you are checking if it actually happened. You are speechless at first, but finally manage to say something, it doesn’t even make sense. “Wow.. It was.. thanks Ellie”
“What?” She furrows her eyebrows with a smirk on her lips. “Um, you want advice? Another try? Anything?” She suggests, slightly amused by your reaction
“Yeah, right, advice or kiss me again or something” You start mumbling again
“I would say… Just don’t tilt your head so much. And don’t stress, princess.” She does it again, calls you a name that makes your face red “But to be honest, it was adorable how nervous you were.”
You finally regain your attitude but your voice is still low. You roll your eyes at her “So… Can you kiss me again?”
pics credits on pinterest: ambar, vic
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joeys-babe · 9 months ago
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Joey B Imagines: She’s Electric
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Summary: Tee’s nosiness comes in handy.
(Part three to - part 1, part 2)
Warnings: None
Pairing: Joe Burrow x *athletic trainer* reader
Imagine Universe: Misc.
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September 12, 2022 - *Continuation of last part*
“They were talking about me?” - Joe
“Yeah…” - Tee
Tee looked around before sitting down at the table and leaning in close.
“Well? What were they saying?” - Joe
“Joe… did you guys hook up?” - Tee
“Yeah…” - Joe
“Oh. Okay, that makes more sense, but Nick asked her if she'd told you yet. I don't know what, but she was supposed to tell you something. She said no and that after you guys hooked up, she panicked. Told you that it was just a one-night stand.” - Tee
All at once, all of the guys looked at me with the same look on their faces.
“That means she wanted more then.” - Joe
“Seems like it, but I think you might've lost your chance.” - Tee
“Why'd you say that?” - Sam
“She put her two weeks in. She told Nick this was the last team she was working for. And get this… the only player she slept with was the guy from the Niners. The ones from other teams were all made-up rumors, which is why she kept leaving teams.” - Tee
“How'd that come up?” - Sam
“That's why she freaked out and didn't tell Joe she liked him. y/n told Nick that she didn't want him to have to be connected to her name.” - Tee
Without saying a word, I jumped up from the table and started toward the trainer’s offices.
I barged into y/n’s office to find only Nick.
“Where is she?!” - Joe
“Who? y/n-.” - Nick
“Yes, y/n. Where is she?” - Joe
“She left… why?” - Nick
“I need to tell her.” - Joe
Nick cocked his head to the side, a confused look on his face.
“Tell her what?” - Nick
“That I want her. All of her. I don't care about the rumors that are connected to her name. Tee overheard your conversation, and I can't let her get away without her knowing how I seriously feel.” - Joe
I noticed a small smile forming on Nick’s face as I spoke, and he nodded when I was done.
“Tell me how you ‘seriously feel’, son.” - Nick
“Her smile, man, it's like a burst of sunshine that can light up even the gloomiest of days. Every time she walks into a room, my heart starts racing like crazy, and I can't help but get lost in her presence. She's got this amazing sense of humor that always has me cracking up, and her laugh is so infectious. She's not just a pretty face - she's super smart and talented too. I could spend hours talking to her about anything and everything. I just… she's electric.” - Joe
Cutting my answer short when I realized I was ranting, Nick chuckled and leaned back in his chair.
“What if I told you that you just did?” - Nick
“Did what…” - Joe
“You told y/n how you seriously feel.” - Nick
Confusion was the only word to describe how I was feeling. My expression matched Nick’s earlier one.
“Turn around, Joe.” - Nick
My stomach dropped, and I slowly turned on my heels to see y/n standing behind me in the doorway. She was slightly jaw-dropped.
“I forgot my water bottle… had to come and grab it. Did you mean… everything?” - you
“Yes.” - Joe
After letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding in, Nick patted me on the back and left the room.
He shut the door behind him, and I looked down to my feet.
“Joe, I'm really scared.” - you
“About what?” - Joe searched your eyes with his own
“How I feel about you. I've never felt it about someone before. It's just that we've only known each other for a month, and there's so much you don't know about me. The rumors too, being with an NFL player after my ‘history’ is a bad look for me and my job.” - you
“We can get to know each other more before anything serious happens, but just know that I seriously care about you. I don't give a shit about the rumors because they're not true and don't define you. Also, you're crazy if you think I'm going to let your job get affected because of me.” - Joe
“So… what now?” - you
As our eyes met, a wave of emotions washed over us. The air crackled with anticipation, and time seemed to stand still.
With trembling voices, we confessed our feelings, poured our hearts out to each other, and said every word we'd been thinking since that one night. At once, all doubts and fears faded away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of joy and connection.
We took each other's hands, knowing that this was the start of something incredible.
At that moment, everything felt charged with an indescribable energy.
And so, hand in hand, we stepped into a future filled with endless possibilities, knowing that our love would always be electric, igniting our hearts with a love that would never fade.
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A/N: Everlasting Love is defrosting.
Hope you enjoyed! 💕💕
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smoooothoperator · 6 months ago
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hiii lauraaa!! im just gonna say first things first and once again, Congratulations on writing an amazing series!!🥳✨️🫶🏼💗
I've been dedicated in reading and catching up and heads up, i may spam you with imagine plots soo sorry not sorry hehe😅😭
diving head first: I'd love to know abt the proposal + wedding details like whether lando proposed or violet proposed or maybe both🤷‍♀️😉 (like one of the tiktoks where the couple proposed at the same time), whoever proposes, what was their THE MOMENT when they knew 'this is it' (context: like jake and amy from b99 if you have watched), etc and etc.
i may have ranted in more detail but just wanted to share my pov of the idea. I'm sooo excited to see how this takes place! (ps: no pressure on writing asap!! take your sweet time pleasee! its always worth the wait to read😭😭😭)
okie now! byeeeeee loveee youuuuu mwaaahhhhh take care and happy race weekend!!🫂😉🫶🏼✨️ xx
Sorry it took me too long! Right now I'm very very very focused on reading that I really forgot that I had to write this HAHAHAHA
But I hope you like this!
He always knew he wanted to marry her. At first it was a joke he used to tell himself or his friends, that he was going to marry Violet no matter what, that he would put his last name next to hers. But it was only that, a joke and he barely though about it as something more.
But the day he had her, the day she said she loved him, he immediately knew he had to make that come true, that he was going to love her until his last breath. Days with her were like a new adventure he was dying to explore.
Lando started the search of a ring for her during the honeymoon phase of their relationship. He was so naive, so on love. He found himself countless times looking at rings everytime he walked in front of the jewelries Monaco, making screenshots on his phone of the ones he liked, picturing Violet with that ring on her finger.
But then the crash happened. He had to focus on her, on her recovery and making sure she was comfortable. And during that time with her, he came to the realization that he has to love the present and enjoy every second with her, enjoy life with her. But it made him realize, too, that he wanted to be next to her forever, now for real.
A year turned in two, two in three, and their love never stopped growing. They filled their house with souvenir of every places they visited, and their dogs were like their kids, always going with them to Lando's races.
It was a day he went out around Monaco with Max when he stopped right in front of the jewelry he always looked at. Max looked at him and smirked, nudging him and walking inside of the store. That day, he held Violet close to his chest, and while she was sleeping peacefully, he was staring at the ring inside elf the box, smiling widely.
He planned it, he kept the ring for months, and even if sometimes he decided to not wait and propose right in tbe moment, he waited for the day.
They went back to that city of snow, the city their favorite writer got inspired to write their favorite books. He thought it was perfect, Max and Pietra were with them, as well as their dogs.
"You know she will suspect if she find us recording, right?" Pietra sighed, looking at him.
"She won't" Lando nodded. "I have it planned, don't worry guys"
Lando had it pictured in his mind, he has been thinking and dreaming about this day since he bought the ring. When he's going to kneel, what words he's going to speak.
But it wasn't as easy as he thought.
His first attempt ended up with a fail. He wanted to go for a walk with the dogs and making sure that Max and Pietra were some meters away, with their phones in their hands making sure to record everything. But it ended with them screaming in a panic attack because one of their dogs decided to go explore to the wood. Thankfully they found the dog, covered in snow and the day ended with them cuddling the black dog in front of a fire and making sure he didn't freeze.
His second attempt was planned while they slept. It had to be something simple, no surprises. He has to make sure that their dogs are near, that the ring is in the box.
But at morning, when everything he wanted to do was cuddle her, he found Violet already in the living room making lunch for the day that was planned on the ski resort. So maybe that was the perfect moment to ask her.
He made sure he had the box with the ring in the inside pocket of his snow coat, sometimes having the need of patting his chest to make sure that the box was still there.
"Babe, you okay?" Violet asked worried, watching how he was always rubbing his chest. "Did something happen?"
"Oh? No, no! Why do you think that?" he frowned confused.
"Well..." she smiled looking him. "You can't stop touching your chest. Are you nervous because we're going to the red zone?"
"What?! Me?! My second name is danger" he scoffed, talking with a high pitched voice.
"Sure" she laughed, kissing his cheek.
Lando swallowed thickly and turned his head slightly to look at Max and Pietra, somehow panicking and moving his hand side to side under his chin.
"Abort plan, abort plan" he mouthed, making his friends chuckle.
He never thought that proposing to hercould be that hard without making her suspect.
He normally has a lot of patience, he had to get high levels of patience to love with two puppies and train them. But this? This is ending his patience levels.
The four of them spent the day skiing while their dogs were at a dog daycare place. And once they finished and got back with their dogs, Lando was too quiet on the way back to the house. And when they were finally there, he went immediately outside, grabbing his phone and texting Max.
Lando: Okay, this is the last chance. I'll stay out for a while, if she goes outside to talk with me, follow her.
Max: I never imagined proposing would be this hard...
Lando: Try it, then we'll talk 😩
Lando stayed out of the house, looking at the ring inside of the box. It doesn't have a big stone, in all his hers dating her he discovered that she doesn't like big jewelry. And the ring is the perfect definition of what she would wear everyday.
Rhysand and Feyre, their dogs, walked out of the house and stayed with him, cuddling him and trying to keep him warm, or trying to give him a reason to go back to the house.
"Hey, what are you doing outside? It's getting cold" Violet smiled, leaning on the door frame.
"Oh-" he wasn't ready. "C-can we talk?"
"There's something wrong?" she asked worried, walking towards him. "Lando, are you okay?"
"Well, I'm nervous" he sighed.
Violet started to panic. Nervous? Why would he be nervous? Is he going to break up with her?
"W-what?" she mumbled, swallowing thickly.
"I just wanted to do it before, but everytime I tried to talk with you, something happened" he said.
"Oh..."
She could feel her vision getting blurry, not noticing the confusion in Lando's face.
"Baby, why are you crying?" Lando asked, holding her hands.
"You are going to break up with me, it's that?"
"What? No!" he laughed, pulling her close to him. "No! I'm actually going to do another thing"
She didn't feel him kneeling in front of her, grabbing the box inside of his coat. But when she finally understood what was happening, he didn't even need to say a word before she threw herself into his arms.
"You gave me a heart attack!" she exclaimed.
"I'm sorry, baby" Lando chuckled, holding her.
"But... Yes" she whispered. "I will marry you, idiot"
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brotherwtf · 1 month ago
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Ooomph so this in my head in a non sexual way but
Buck x Bucky fit so much of an Autism x ADHD type of relationship.
Can see it at the Stalag, John not being able to be as active or have as much stimulation and picking fights and not quite seeing how he is scaring other people and Gale frantically clinging to a resemblance of routine and rules because that’s what makes sense.
Maybe a modern AU? But both would be using weighted blankets to regulate their nervous systems and help with symptoms. But they get stuck somewhere, maybe in an airport hotel with a storm system? And John isn’t coping well and Buck just lies on top of him and helps in that way.
Maybe in a WWII fic when there is a more accurate gap between the two escaping. (I think like three months? Or something?) Buck has put weight back on and John has lost more. Could be a weight moment where Buck weighs more than Bucky.
Bucky is back at Thorpe Abbotts. And can’t stop shaking. Buck helps ❤️
THIS ANON YES YES
John being ADHD coded is so precious to me, that boy CANNOT and WILL NOT be at anything less 100% irritating at all times, especially with his little anecdotes for Gale
"the unicorn is my favorite animal" babygirl you were BEGGING to say that for at least an hour weren't you? but you kept that in bcs you didn't want to overwhelm your bf when he just got to base? okay darling
but Gale being autistic makes so so much sense, him just wanting to go nonverbal and letting his outgoing boyfriend take up space in the room while you fade into the background? yep yep
definitely in a modern au Gale would have the most random facts for John, and John would just eat them up every single time, would present his own anecdotes about them and then get caught in a spiral of his own thoughts, which Gale always likes to see, likes to listen to him talk
John absolutely loves when Gale goes on little rants about what he's hyperfixating on at the moment, maybe in a modern au it's usually planes or something like that, he'll sit and listen for hours while Gale talks about it, it's one of the only times he can actually concentrate and is able to sit still for that long
the weighted blanket thing is making me giggle because DEFINITELY, John NEEDS to have something on top of him during the night or he'll just be vibrating, can't quite get his brain to stop running, the weight just sort of centers him and allows him to sleep. Same with Gale, he likes to have that weight so he doesn't feel like he's going to start falling again, maybe even in a modern au Gale has those weird feelings that he's falling through the air, grabs ahold of John whenever he does and squeezes his eyes shut to stop the feeling
Gale would definitely lie on top of John whenever he's getting restless, they're at a hotel or something and John's just squirming, Gale finally just rolls on top of him to get him to stop moving, God bless they're both so silly
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vague-bisexual-crimes · 9 months ago
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hiiii I wrote this at midnight last night and edited it like five minutes after I woke up so please be nice and forgive any grammatical errors 🙏
Description: almost 3k words of post-hiatus, pre-relationship Jimmy and Lister, ft. pining and background Frances and Rowan.
Rated: G
TWs: canon-typical anxiety, brief mentions of alcohol and drinking
Without any further ado my first (bicci) fanfic ever!
sleepless nights (as long as they’re with you)
Somewhere between Lister almost dying, drunk and alone in a river some short ways from Pierro’s and the release of The Ark’s first post-hiatus album, Jimmy realized something. Jimmy realized that maybe, just maybe, Lister wasn’t just objectively attractive, but, in fact, Jimmy was attracted to him. Jimmy tries to think back to when they were younger, or even just a few years ago to try to figure out if the attraction is recent or had always been there. Either way, the romantic feelings began to develop a few months after they’d brought Lister home from the hospital.
Rowan is gone visiting his not-girlfriend Frances Janvier, so it’s just Jimmy and Lister in their new-ish apartment. It’s just outside London, close enough for them to be in London on short notice, far enough that they can breathe.
None of the three boys have technically dated during or after the hiatus, but Rowan has been talking to Frances Janvier for a few months, since they’d met at a movie premiere and she had no idea who The Ark was aside from “that’s a band, isn’t it?”, and Rowan was immediately enamored. Jimmy and Lister had placed bets on how soon Rowan and Frances would get together that same night.
It’s getting to be late for Jimmy and Lister. A few weeks into the hiatus they had all begun to put in a genuine effort to get a solid 8 hours of sleep a night, but tomorrow is a day off, and tonight they just don’t care.
The two of them are laying on Jimmy’s bed while Brooklyn 99 episodes auto-play in the background, although they haven’t been watching for some time now.
Lister is ranting about the book series he’s just finished, one that Jimmy read a few years ago and remembers very little of, but is content to listen to Lister tell him the entire plot, along with all of his opinions.
That said, Jimmy is finding it difficult to pay attention to what Lister was saying. Lister’s sitting next to him, wearing Jimmy’s well-loved Black Parade hoodie that Jimmy pulled up from the floor after Lister kept complaining about being cold, but not wanting to get up. Something that should be known about Lister is that whenever he speaks enthusiastically about something, his hands and his arms move a lot. Normally, this is fine and not really notable to Jimmy, however tonight, every time Lister raises an arm, Jimmy’s hair-too-small hoodies rises up and a sliver of Lister’s bare stomach becomes visible.
You would think that when Lister had been laying in his bed shirtless, Jimmy would have been distracted, but Lister had so rarely ever worn anything more than boxers that the sight no longer phased Jimmy. But Lister was in Jimmy’s bed, in Jimmy’s hoodie, and Jimmy was struggling to not stare at his stomach.
“—and I despise love triangles, they’re entirely unnecessary and frankly annoying, but somehow this book did it well?” Lister says, sounding mildly distressed at his own statement.
“Yeah, it’s not like an Edward and Jacob love triangle at all.” Jimmy replies before Lister is rushing off on an entirely different tangent about Twilight.
Blame the Twilight talk, but now Jimmy can’t help but notice Lister’s newest tattoo, a floral piece on the side of his neck. It looks pretty—Lister looks pretty.
Lister looks healthier than Jimmy thinks he’s ever seen him. He’d stopped drinking and was beginning to put on a bit of muscle. But it’s not only that, he has this look in his eye that Jimmy hasn’t seen since The Ark finished recording their first EP Kill It. Like he’s really happy.
Jimmy shakes his head to himself, tears his eyes away from Lister’s neck, and his eyes land on the long forgotten television.
He got over you years ago. Jimmy reminds himself. It would be cruel to do this to him years after the fact. Lister doesn’t deserve that, and Jimmy isn’t going to do that to him.
“—Jim-jam?” Lister’s voice breaks through his thoughts.
Jimmy turns his eyes back to Lister, who seems mildly amused as he takes in Jimmy’s expression.
“Were you listening?” Lister asks, not upset but genuinely inquiring.
“Sorry, I got caught up in my head.” Jimmy replies, which is not technically untrue.
“Are you alright?” Lister asks, his expression shifting just so slightly from amusement to worry, now.
“Yeah, yeah, go on, I’m listening now.” Jimmy coaxes Lister to keep talking and forget his concern.
“Are you sure? You looked upset?” Lister asks. A good and bad thing from The Ark all getting some therapy during the hiatus was that Lister was keen to communicate now. Which was good most of the time, and bad right now.
Jimmy doesn’t say anything, he just looks at Lister. At his Black Parade hoodie, the sleeves fitted where they should be baggy, Lister’s hands no longer moving, but tucked into its pocket. At Lister’s floral tattoo on the side of his neck that Jimmy has wanted to kiss since Lister came home and showed Jimmy and Rowan the piece in the middle of their kitchen while Rowan was making tea and Jimmy was sitting on the counter listening to Rowan go on and on about Frances.
Jimmy’s eyes finally slid up to look at Lister’s face. At the lips he kissed once, in a bathroom, years ago, when Lister had been drunk, and Jimmy didn’t feel that way about him. Where Lister had profusely apologized and begged Jimmy not to hate him. It was an absurd statement then, and it still was. How could Jimmy hate Allister Bird?
Jimmy’s eyes find Lister’s. Lister’s gaze is unwavering and kind. Sometimes Jimmy wonders what his relationship would be to Lister if The Ark hadn’t become what it did.
“Jimmy?”
Therapy also means that Jimmy has learned how to properly communicate. Still, that doesn’t mean he wants to.
Jimmy can feel the panic start to actually build in his chest, the real panic, lively and nauseous, not the thought spiral that Lister had seen moments prior.
It’s now or never. Jimmy seems to realize all at once. He can tell Lister how he feels, potentially ruining the closest relationship he has ever had, that isn’t Rowan or Pierro and Joan, potentially distancing himself from one of the two people in the world who actually know him and understand his life, potentially ruining everything that they had spent the past six months building back up for the band, the band which had managed to have wildly unprecedented success after what their management had considered a far-too-long hiatus.
Or he can tell Lister how he feels and Lister could feel the same way and they can live happily-ever-after.
The latter seems too good to be true.
Lister has always been too good for Jimmy. He always will be. Jimmy is a mess. Even now, when he’s at the best place he has ever been with his mental health and The Ark is doing better than it ever has, what with the new album doing even better than Joan of Arc had at release, Jimmy is still a mess.
But Lister is still looking at him like that. Looking at him like he cares.
“I’m okay, Lister.” Jimmy puts on a weak smile to combat the lumb in his throat. “Do y’want some tea?” Jimmy asks, already halfway out of bed.
“I can do it, watch Brooklyn 99.” Lister says, his hand on Jimmy’s shoulder, gently coaxing him to sit back down.
“You didn’t want to get up—” Jimmy begins to protest.
“I don’t mind.” Lister says so simply that Jimmy nearly begins to cry.
Jimmy says a much-too-quiet “okay”, and Lister slips out into the hallway.
Jimmy tries for a brief moment to actually watch Brooklyn 99 and wait for Lister to get back so he can tell Jimmy about his books. It doesn’t work.
Jimmy sighs in frustration and puts his head between his knees like he can cure romantic feelings in the same way as motion sickness.
Lister either makes the quickest cup of tea known to man, or Jimmy doesn’t notice how long he’s been staring at his fitted sheet, his mind somewhere between a panic attack and a confession.
“Jimmy?” Jimmy wishes he would stop doing things to make his name sound so laced with concern every time it falls off Lister’s lips. “You alright?”
Jimmy sits up and quickly takes the cup of tea from Lister.
“You look like you're about to be sick.” Lister says. “Do you want me to hand you the bin?” Jimmy shakes his head. “Do y’want me to call Rowan?”
“Please, don’t.” Jimmy finally says. He takes a sip of tea if only to avoid this conversation for a moment longer. Chamomile vanilla. Jimmy’s favorite.
He looks up at Lister who’s still standing next to Jimmy’s bed watching him. “You know you can talk to me, yeah?” Lister says, and god there’s a tinge of hurt in his voice that Jimmy knows he didn’t intend to slip through.
“Of course,” Jimmy says, his voice more level than it’s been since the start of this evening. “I tell you everything.” Not necessarily true, but not a lie either. He tells Lister everything…except this.
Lister crawls over Jimmy to get to the other side of the bed, not spilling Jimmy’s tea by some miracle, and immediately wraps his arm around Jimmy. “I love you, you know that?” Lister says with his cheek pressed into Jimmy’s hair.
“I love you, too, Lister.” This doesn’t really feel like a lie. Jimmy, Rowan, and Lister had loved each other for as long as they’d been friends. They haven’t been so vocal about it until their early twenties, but that has never made it any less true.
Jimmy drinks his tea in silence, the only noise in the entire apartment being Jimmy’s TV, and the soft rhythm of Lister’s breath in his ear.
When Jimmy sets his mug on his bedside table, Lister asks, “Want to go to bed?”
It is properly late now and all of Jimmy’s panic has made him exhausted.
“Yeah,” Jimmy answers and Lister’s arm falls away from Jimmy and he begins to crawl out of bed.
Jimmy catches Lister’s arm, moving a bit too fast, and says. “You don’t need to get up. My bed’s big enough for both of us.”
“It’s okay,” Lister begins to slide his arm from Jimmy’s hand.
“Your bed isn’t even made and you’re already here.” Jimmy tries to shrug nonchalantly and sets the TV to turn off after an hour.
“Okay,” Lister says only a bit louder than a whisper.
Jimmy lays down and pulls the covers up and around him, pretending he isn’t aware of every move Lister makes as he sets his phone on the floor by the bed, takes off Jimmy’s Black Parade hoodie and crawls fully under the covers.
Jimmy wasn’t lying when he said his bed was big enough for both of them, there’s a solid foot of bed between them and they still have wiggle room on the other side.
It never takes Jimmy long to fall asleep whenever Lister is there.
***
Rowan comes home the next morning with the news that he’s officially going out with Frances Janvier and Lister slyly hands Jimmy a twenty under the table when Rowan isn’t looking.
“Is she gonna be coming ‘round then?” Jimmy asks between bites of cereal.
“She’ll be ‘round next week, but not for a while after that, she and Aled have some Universe City stuff to do.” Rowan replies.
“That’s great, Ro,” Lister says. “‘Bit jealous that you’re the first one of us to be in a relationship since the hiatus but still.”
Rowan rolls his eyes but his smile doesn’t waver. Rowan and Lister’s relationship has massively improved over the past few years. Partially from Rowan learning that he doesn’t need to take care of Lister all the time, partially because Lister has learned to take care of himself.
“You could date anyone.” Rowan says.
“Of course I could, have you considered none of them are good enough for Allister Bird?” Lister replies instantly.
“Yes, that’s the problem,” Rowan says.
“I’m with Lister on this one, Rowan, how come you’re the one who always ends up in good, long-term relationships?” Jimmy says as he puts his empty bowl in the dishwasher.
“I dated Bliss for two years and I haven’t even been dating Frances for 24 hours.”
“That’s longer term than Jimmy and I for like five years running.” Lister points out.
“That’s a lie! I dated that guy for three weeks when I was 16.” Jimmy protests.
“Relationships from when you were 16 don’t count.” Lister shrugs as though it’s law. “And you can’t even remember his name, can you?”
Jimmy ignores the last part. “You’re counting Bliss!”
“Because they dated while Rowan was also 17 and 18.”
“Impeccable logic as always, Bird.” Rowan says with a pat on Lister’s shoulder. Lister grins smugly at Jimmy.
“Rowan agrees with me.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth.” Rowan says and then they’re all laughing.
***
Frances comes round the week later to stay for two nights. Jimmy and Lister gleefully tease Rowan about having a girlfriend (although they maintain that they’re perfectly nice and civil to Frances, who is lovely), but eventually the novelty begins to wear off and Jimmy and Lister decide to leave Rowan and Frances alone and retreat to Jimmy’s bedroom.
Watching Brooklyn 99 in Jimmy’s room has become something of a routine of theirs lately. Some nights they watch a few episodes until they actually feel tired and Lister will go to his own room to sleep, other nights he sleeps in Jimmy’s room.
Jimmy prefers the nights where Lister sleeps in Jimmy’s room. He can always sleep when Lister is there, despite the background anxiety about his feelings for Lister, he feels safe with him.
Tonight neither of them are really watching the show, instead they’re scrolling through their respective personal social media accounts that the fans somehow have yet to find. It’s a content silence and Jimmy is perfectly happy to continue to watch Brooklyn 99 and scroll through his phone until he falls asleep, but then Lister says,
“Tell me to shut up if I’ve got the wrong idea, but,” Lister pauses and takes a breath. “you seemed genuinely very stressed about something the other night, and you don’t have to tell me, but you haven’t seemed that stressed in so long and I’m worried about you.” Lister looks at him.
Jimmy means to say more, but all that comes out is, “Lister…”
“You don’t have to tell me just…I’m here for you, for anything. I need you to know that.”
Jimmy opens his mouth to speak and closes it.
“Do you remember when you were drunk and you kissed me?” It’s not at all what Jimmy means to say and as soon as it’s out of his mouth he feels shit for bringing it up.
“I—yeah,” Lister looks embarrassed and slightly pained at the memory.
“And I told you, more or less, that I didn’t feel that way about you,” Jimmy continues slowly.
“Jimmy, you don’t have to reject me again. I got it the first time, haha.” It’s the saddest laugh Jimmy’s ever heard and for a moment his entire train of thought derails.
“What?” Jimmy asks.
“I didn’t think I was being that obvious. God, I’m sorry, Jimmy, you must’ve been so uncomfortable.” Lister explains and he looks like he might start crying.
“D’you still like me?” Jimmy’s voice is soft.
“It feels a bit juvenile to say it that way but…but yeah…” Lister thinks for a moment. “What’d’you mean, did you not know?” Jimmy can see Lister trying to work out what the hell is happening and coming up more confused than before.
“No, no, Lister…” the words are still stuck in his throat. It’s now or never.
Jimmy turns to properly face Lister and puts his hands on his cheeks, the tips of his fingers brush against Lister’s soft blond hair. Lister leans in slightly to the touch, but confusion dances across his face.
Slowly, with plenty of time for Lister to stop him, Jimmy leans in. He stops a breath from Lister’s lips and presses his forehead against Lister’s. Lister’s hands come up to rest on Jimmy’s biceps, his breath quickens and seemingly against his will, his eyes flutter shut.
“Can I kiss you?” Jimmy whispers.
“God, please,” Lister whispers and then Jimmy’s lips meet Lister’s and this time it feels right.
Lister’s hands move from Jimmy’s arms to his waist, pulling him gently so that he’s sat in Lister’s lap. Jimmy’s thumbs stroke Lister’s cheeks as they kiss, every anxiety he’d had about telling Lister how he felt washing away with each brush of his lips against Lister’s.
After a moment their lips part from the other’s and Jimmy presses his forehead to Lister’s again as they breathe.
“That’s what you were having anxiety about?” Lister whispers, his breath fanning across Jimmy’s face.
Jimmy nods and slides his arms around Lister’s neck to rest on his shoulders.
Lister kisses him, once, chaste, before burying his face in the crook of Jimmy’s neck. Lister’s arms tighten around Jimmy’s waist and they hold each other for god-knows how long before they hear Frances and Rowan laughing at something in the living room.
They pull back just enough to see each other’s faces. Jimmy runs his fingers through Lister’s hair, pushing it out of his eyes and then kisses him.
“Stay with me tonight?” Jimmy asks.
“Always.” Lister replies and kisses him again.
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tinytime10 · 19 days ago
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So, with your backstory for Wars, did any of his backstory still show among the Chain? I'm just imagining the 'too close to his food' and how that mixes with the other boys who might have a similar relationship with resources or in contrast to someone more freely giving like... Wild?
Did Impa manage to reign in this slightly feral urchin? Or did the war do that? Or is the suave, cool captain entirely an act?
Thank you so much for the ask I can’t believe someone is actually showing in my head canons this is so exciting for me .
so with the chain at first he did not trust any of them except for time and wind. One of the things that he does is try to put up the façade of the perfect captain letting no weakness show. he didn’t sleep for about three days when he first met the chain, not wanting to leave himself vulnerable.
With the food thing he has an eating disorder, but that protectiveness never went away. I think legend and Hyrule specifically, to some extent share that same protectiveness which comes across as stingy in a way. For example, one time warriors put his plate down halfway through eating to go to something. Wild, just trying to be nice, picked up his plate to move it closer to the fire so that his food wouldn’t get cold. He just has enough time to pick up the plate and turn around, before he feels a viselike grip on his upper arm and sees fierce blue eyes of the captain staring angrily down at him. Neither of them say a word. Neither of them know what to say. Warriors just takes his food back and walks to the other side of the camp.
Impa managed to teach him. rewarding his obedience and being able to punish him more severely for his disobedience. Teaching him the value of getting people to like him for more than what he could offer them. He is very controversial in basic training. Impa was putting him through training they wouldn’t even put Hylian adults through. but that was what worked. She managed to reign him in. but the war did a lot of that work to. Cia rapid him and tortured him and that made him believe being that perfect captain that everyone wanted him to be was how he would survive. It was a face he put on every morning. Make up to cover a bruises and dramatic eyeliner to distract from how sunken his cheeks seemed. as he stopped eating because of being poisoned so many times by traders. he didn’t want the rest of the chain to know any of that. To see any of that stuff. For at least two months he was the perfect captain before that façade finally cracked.
This post is already really long so I’m going to end it there feel free to ask me more questions I have so many thoughts that Link And Zelda sort of live in my head rent free. so thank you so much for letting me rant about it. 🫶🏻💖
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wh0re4women · 2 years ago
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Hey!
I've had a script in my head for a while now that I think would fit well with the character of larissa (I've always seen her as such a caring and very comfort person). So, I would like to ask you if you would like to write something short with a reader who, overwhelmed by emotions (especially negative ones), escapes into isolation and being non-verbal? I have been plagued by similar 'symptoms' lately and would love to read something like this...If you are comfortable writing something like this of course!
Sending much love 🫶🏻🫶🏻
Don’t Shut Me Out. (Larissa Weems X Reader.) SFW.
Warnings: some negative thoughts. comfort fic !
Thank you for this anon. <3 i hope i did it justice. sorry it took a few days, i hope you’re feeling better. <3
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You didn’t know exactly when it happened, you just knew it happened fast. One minute you were ranting about something frustrating that had happened during your day, and the next you couldn’t even find the energy to speak. You scurried out of Larissa’s office that day in a panic, leaving your girlfriend worried and confused.
That was three days ago. Which also happened to be the last time you’d seen Larissa.
You’d been dating the beautiful blonde for just five months — hardly enough time for her to see you like this.
You wanted to keep it that way.
Larissa did not.
The poor Principal was in a shambolic state the entire seventy-two hours that you were missing. She couldn’t help but feel nauseas with concern, especially when she’d wandered towards your dorm the same night that the incident had occurred and she couldn’t get ahold of you no matter how hard she tried.
If you hadn’t been completely plagued by negative emotions the past few days, maybe you would’ve found enough clearance to simply text Larissa and explain what had happened. However, in your irrational state of mind, there was obviously a lack of rational thoughts circling around to lead you to that point.
Your single dorm was a god-send for you in times like these. And as you sat cross-legged on your plush bed, the duvet scrunched up behind you mindlessly, your hand frantically spilled ink onto the blank pages of your notebook, decorating it with words that you couldn’t manage to speak out loud.
There was a creaking of wood outside of your door, followed by a whisper of a curse word. Your head shot up at the sound, the colour draining from your face.
“[y/n]?”
It was Larissa. Of course. Who else would care enough to check on you every hour on the hour? You sighed, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth as anxiety riddled you.
Why did she even care so much? You weren’t worth it. Surely the Principal had better things to do. In fact, she was probably here to break up with you. After all, you’d treated her so unfairly.
“Darling? Sweetheart, I’m opening the door,” Larissa’s voice wavered. She sounded so frightened. “I have the master key.”
You whimpered at the sound of that, knowing that there was nothing you could do to stop the tall blonde from finding you in the helpless state that you were in. It was time to face the embarrassment.
You snapped your notebook closed at the same time that Larissa twisted the key into the door, immediately swinging it open in panic.
“Oh, thank Goodness!” The tall blonde exclaimed, taking in your very much alive form. Relief flushed over the red-lipped woman as she kicked the door closed with her heel, rushing over to you immediately.
You couldn’t have wanted the ground to swallow you more.
“Hang on,” Larissa stopped in her tracks right as she was about to reach the foot of your bed. You were wide eyed, nervous, scared. “What happened, darling? I’ve been sick to my stomach, worrying about you every second of every waking moment.”
You shrugged hesitantly. Larissa’s eyebrows rose together in disbelief. She hadn’t seen you in days — she imagined finding your lifeless body in your dorm, and all you could do was shrug?
“Darling, I don’t want to seem angry but I need you to explain yourself,” the Principal told you in all seriousness. Understandably, the tall blonde was getting quite frustrated. She wanted to scold you for going missing in action, but she knew there was a good enough reason as to why you would hide out in your room. She reminded herself to be patient and understanding.
You avoided eye contact with Larissa as if your life depended on it, picking at the corners of your journal like it was the most interesting thing you’d ever seen.
Larissa sighed. She slid out of her coat, smoothing out her skirt before sauntering over to where you were perched, gently sitting down on the edge of the bed and reaching for your hand. You finally looked up into her beautiful blue eyes, finding only concern and confusion.
“I love you, you know that?” Larissa softly spoke, caressing her thumb over your hand. You felt tears well into your eyes.
She wasn’t angry. She wasn’t here to break up with you.
You were safe.
Larissa could tell that you weren’t feeling your best. The sadness and guilt was practically seeping out of you. She looked down into your lap, catching her eye on the book you’d been scribbling in, “What’s this?” She smiled gently at you, trying to ease you out of your shell.
Your eyes darted down to the item, and it was like a lightbulb had appeared above your head and lit up the room. You jumped upright, grabbing at the notebook and snatching your pen up before jotting down a few sentences.
Larissa, surprised as ever, watched you with amusement in her eyes. She rested a warm hand on one of your knees for comfort, waiting patiently until you were done. And once you’d flipped the book over, explaining in a few short words exactly what had happened, the puzzle pieces fell together and everything made sense once again.
Larissa couldn’t help herself; she cooed softly in pity before scooping you into her arms and cradling you tightly, never wanting to let go.
“I’m so sorry, darling,” the blonde kissed your head, “I’m sorry you’ve been feeling this way, all alone. I’m sorry I didn’t step in sooner. I’m sorry I didn’t put two and two together.”
You shook your head, refusing to have her feel guilty for something she never caused or had any part of. Your hand fisted into her shirt and you nestled your head into the crook of her neck, breathing in her perfume.
Larissa softly smiled, one hand beginning to rub circles on your back, “I’m here, darling. You’re safe,” the blonde shushed you gently, “I understand now, [y/n]. There’s no pressure to speak… But please don’t shut me out again, darling. We can do this together.”
Your eyes fluttered closed in the comfort of her voice. With how terrible you’d been feeling, you and Larissa both soon realised that you hadn’t been sleeping properly. The tall blonde continued her ministrations, now rocking you in attempt to soothe you to sleep.
And no matter how many times you were pulled out of slumber, Larissa was there, whispering sweet nothings and making sure you never once left the warmth of her arms. She understood you, even without words.
When you fully woke hours later, the tall blonde brought you snacks and water. She relaxed back against the headboard, gazing into your eyes lovingly as you curled into her side.
As you looked down, you noticed Larissa had brought her own notebook and pen — a simple ‘I love you’ written on a blank page.
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cbk1000 · 6 months ago
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So, I have another crazy story about the clinic where I used to work; this time as a patient instead of an employee. Under a cut because it's very long.
So back when I first got really sick, I was in the hospital a few times primarily for really high heart rate. I work out a lot and my normal resting heart rate is in the 60s; back in February I suddenly started getting palpitations, and my heart rate was going up to like 140 bpm just standing at my bathroom sink washing my face. I wore a seven day monitor at one point and my highest recorded heart rate on that was 157 bpm--just shuffling like a zombie around the house. I was also super weak and just felt overall like death.
Hospital runs a bunch of labs and imaging tests and can't find anything that would explain it. The last doc I saw said there was a bright spot on my echocardiogram monitor that could just be flashback from the monitor, but taken with some of my symptoms, he felt OK with a presumptive diagnosis of pericarditis (inflammation of the sac around your heart), especially as the treatment is just high dose ibuprofen for a week, nothing invasive or drastic. I need to follow up with a cardiologist, but I don't have a primary care physician who can refer me to the heart clinic. I had just turned in new patient paperwork at a local clinic so I contacted them to see if I could get in, but they said it would likely be a month before I could be scheduled with anyone.
In the meantime, the ibuprofen isn't working and my condition is getting worse. I have my next period, and after a couple of heavy days, I get even weaker, my heart rate goes even higher, and I get really dizzy all the time. I also am now short of breath just rolling over in bed. I legit feel like I'm dying. Because my symptoms get worse after blood loss, it suddenly pops into my head that about 17 years ago after a blood donation I got really sick, and all my symptoms that I can remember having at the time are the same, especially the cardiac issues. I took iron back then and that resolved it. I started wondering if my iron was low, did a bunch of research into iron deficiency without anemia, and realized every single symptom, including ones I had been having for a while prior to the heart issues (terrible fatigue, brain fog, headaches, sleep disruptions, restless legs at night) could be from low iron.
So I need to get labs done, and also I do still need a referral to make sure my heart is ok. I can't get in with anyone, so out of desperation, I go back to my old clinic because I know they'll get me in quickly. They schedule me an appointment for the next day with a doc who is going to turn out to be batshit crazy.
I go to my appointment with my presumptive diagnosis of pericarditis, and the doctor asks if I had the Covid shot. I tell him yes, but my last booster was in 2021, so not relevant here.
Well boy howdy was I wrong. He launches into a whole-ass rant about how bad the shots are, how many people have been injured by them, tells me I, a formerly very healthy, athletic woman, now have heart issues due to the shot, etc. etc. I say, 'Ok, but would the shot really randomly cause me issues three years later when I was perfectly fine after I got it?' (The answer is no.) Doc stays the course in blaming the shot. I have paperwork I need filled out for medical leave from my job, and he PUTS ON MY PAPERWORK THAT I HAVE TO TURN IN that my cardiac issues came on and progressed after the shot (three YEARS after, you DUMBASS) and that his impression is post vaccine injury. I feel too badly to do much more than sway on the exam table and occasionally interject that I had the shot three years ago and I don't think that's the problem. The majority of my appointment is him ranting about the shots. Whatever, I'm desperate, give me my fucking referral to the cardiologist and order my iron panel.
I get labs done and sure enough, my iron is low. I start supplementing and shortly afterwards get a call from the cardiac clinic; I lucked out and got in just a few days after my referral was sent to them because someone canceled their appointment last minute. I see an ARNP at my first visit and she says the echo I had done at the hospital looks fine to her, but they'll do a seven day monitor, a repeat echocardiogram, and have me follow up with the cardiologist just to make sure they don't miss anything.
So they do this, and in the meantime, after a couple of weeks on iron supplements, I start slowly but steadily feeling a bit better. My fatigue and brain fog that I was having every day improve significantly after only a week on supplements. My dizziness goes away. I feel a tiny bit stronger every day and now can sit up longer and start holding conversations with people. It's slow but steady progress for about three weeks: and then I get my period again. It doesn't knock me back to square one, but I definitely take a couple of steps back in my recovery. It's a little lighter this time, though, which is a good sign.
I follow up with the cardiologist. He says actually my heart is in really good shape; no signs of pericarditis or anything wrong with it; my high heart rate isn't due to a cardiac issue. Cool. I didn't think so at this point, but good to hear I don't have heart issues.
So I go back to follow up with my doc and plan to ask to really focus on the iron issue since the cardiologist confirmed my heart is fine. I have come a long ways but am still mostly bedridden; it is very slow to get your levels up on iron supplementation, and every time I get my period, it sets me back a little. Maybe some low dose iron infusions would help boost my levels so my recovery doesn't go backwards on account of me bleeding for a week every few weeks.
Doc comes in the room. He is clearly Not Happy cardiology did not confirm his conspiracy theories about the shot injuring me. I tell him about the symptoms I have seen improve and even resolve after about six weeks on iron supplements, and how I think most if not all of my problems are from low iron. He pretty much completely ignores this. He asks me if my fatigue and brain fog have improved. I say, yes, they were some of the first symptoms to improve after I started taking iron. He does not even acknowledge I have spoken. He tells me he thinks I have a combination of chronic fatigue syndrome and POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) caused by the shot. I remind him I just told him my fatigue had improved a lot since starting iron. And my heart rate is coming down too and not spiking as much, my issue is that every period after I've been improving, I suddenly get a little worse again. He ignores this. He tells me he is going to refer me to the neurologist to check for chronic fatigue and POTS. Ok, whatever, I'm pretty sure I don't have those things, but fine, have another specialist tell you you're wrong.
After about eight weeks on supplements, I really feel like I'm starting to turn a corner. I don't feel normal, but my heart rate has come down quite a bit, I can stand and walk around a lot longer without feeling like I'm going to pass out, and I feel the closest to normal that I have been in months.
And then I get my period again and my heart rate goes back up. I'm super frustrated at this point because I was So Close to being a functioning human again, so I decide to push for a low dose iron infusion. I just want to boost my levels high enough to get me over this hump so every period doesn't set me back right as I feel like I'm coming back to life. I've read lots of papers on iron deficiency without anemia (meaning your hemoglobin is normal) and decide to make an appointment armed with one paper in particular which was written by a doctor who has been treating iron deficiency for decades, and which lays out really comprehensively the numbers at which patients should be considered deficient based on their labs and symptoms, what numbers you should shoot for when treating the iron deficiency (I am higher now but still quite a ways away from the goal), and also lists a bunch of symptoms women in particular have reported that have resolved with iron treatment. I highlight all the symptoms on the list that I have had, as well as other sections particularly relevant to my specific case. (Spoiler alert: I did not even give him the paper.)
So I go to my appointment and he asks if I've heard from the neurologist yet. I say no, I'm sure it will be a while (there's only one in town, and I'm sure it takes a long time to get in). In the meantime, I really want to focus on getting my iron levels up. I lay everything out: all the improvements I've seen, how my period keeps setting me back, and how I want to try just a low 100mg infusion to boost me up so I don't take two steps back every time I get my period. He tells me I have chronic fatigue and POTS as a result of the Evil Shot. I tell him, once again, that my fatigue has greatly improved on iron supplements. He does not even acknowledge I have spoken. He tells me a local doctor is being PERSECUTED and PROSECUTED for prescribing Ivermectin for Covid. Ok, that doesn't relate to my personal medical issues that we are here to discuss, and also, Ivermectin is not approved for the treatment of Covid. I ask him again if I can get a low dose infusion. I understand insurance probably won't cover it, that's fine, I can pay out of pocket, I just need him to order it. He tells me he personally takes Ivermectin. Good for you. Again, not related to my medical issues that I am here to dicuss.
I mention that I have had restless legs at night for a long time, because I know this at least is commonly associated with low iron, maybe that will get his attention; nope. He totally ignores me again. I even try blaming the shot for low iron (sorry, Covid vaccine, sometimes you have to take one for the team). I say I have read Covid and maybe even the shot can deplete your iron; maybe the shot did this to my iron. No dice. (Mr. Jenn did applaud me for trying when I told him about it, though.)
He starts in about my POTS again. I say, ok, but POTS is a postural issue, right? He says, yes! I say, ok, then if I have an issue where my nervous system doesn't regulate my blood flow properly when I change from sitting to standing, why is my resting heart rate way higher than normal when I'm just lying in bed doing nothing, and why has my heart rate been coming down and is not spiking like it was after several weeks on iron supplements until I get my period? I'm not sure that fits with POTS.
He again does not even acknowledge I've spoken.
I ask again for an infusion to help boost me up so I'm not set back every period. He says as long as I'm menstruating it will set me back. Yes, I am aware I will lose more iron on my period, what I am asking is that while I am in ACTIVE CLINICAL IRON DEFICIENCY can we please do something to speed up getting my levels high enough so every time I bleed it doesn't knock me down again. He asks if I have considered a hysterectomy or uterine ablation for the bleeding (you know, invasive surgeries, instead of talking about birth control pills, which he didn't even mention). I said that was kind of extreme and I didn't want to consider that right now. I ask him about the infusion again. He says it's not a concern. I say, yeah, it is, I am having debilitating symptoms that have left me bedridden for three months. I need to get back to my life and my job. He tells me Congress is investigating the shots and it will come out how bad they are, but a lot of people won't believe it. I say, well, that's Congress' business, can I please have an infusion. He tells me insurance won't cover it. I say I know, I already mentioned that earlier (while you were ignoring me in favor of ranting about a vaccine I had three years ago), I have a health savings account, I can pay out of pocket. He tells me he's pretty sure I have chronic fatigue and POTS but we'll see what the neurologist says. I need to call and see if I can get in more quickly with the neurologist. I say, ok, in the meantime, since realistically it could take months for me to get in with the neurologist, can I PLEASE HAVE A FUCKING INFUSION. He tells me if I want one I will have to badger another doctor into it. (I can't remember the exact word he used, but the way he worded it made it sound like I was trying to bully him. No, you jackass, I am asking for an extremely common, low risk medical treatment for issues that have left me unable to work or leave my house for anything other than doctor's appointments for THREE MONTHS.)
So I left incredibly frustrated, needless to say.
Next day Mr. Jenn goes to his appointment at the clinic I initially tried to get into to follow up on labs he had done for an annual physical, and his doctor tells him his cholesterol is slightly high, but not enough to be concerned, he just needs to watch his saturated fats and red meat intake. Mr. Jenn tells him we've actually temporarily increased our red meat intake because of my health issues. He then mentions all of the issues I've been having, my lab results, and how I've improved a lot on supplements, but keep getting set back by my period. His doctors goes, 'Have you guys looked into infusions for her? You should try that.'
I DID BUT MY DOCTOR IS CRAZY.
Mr. Jenn explains that I had asked for an infusion and my doctor refused. His doctor gives him a weird look and wants to know why. Mr. Jenn explains it's because he's super set on it being chronic fatigue and POTS and won't consider anything else even though my 'chronic fatigue' and 'POTS' symptoms have both improved on iron supplements. The doctor again gives him a weird look and asks why he's stuck on those diagnoses and won't consider iron deficiency.
Because he's crazy, good sir.
Mr. Jenn's doctor then suggests we see if I can self-refer for an infusion and just pay out of pocket, but you need a doctor's order even if you're not going through insurance, so the next day when the clinic opens, I call, explain I tried to establish care there earlier so they have my new patient paperwork, but that I needed an urgent referral, and had to go somewhere else because they were a month out, but I really (REALLY) want to change doctors, is <Mr. Jenn's doc> taking new patients? He is not, but they'll put in a note with one of the ARNPs accepting new patients to see if they're willing to schedule me.
However, I know the new manager of the clinic (actually an old coworker from the crazy clinic that I'm friendly with), so the other day I texted her, briefly explained the situation, and she asked which doctor I wanted to see and said she'll talk to him when he's back from the long holiday weekend and see if he would be willing to see me. She will let me know later this week (he's not back in till Wednesday). So fingers crossed I can get in with a non-lunatic soon.
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marksbear · 2 years ago
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How about dom famous athlete reader who is dating Steven/moon system. But then he gets asked by a interviewer if he has any good luck rituals to which he says he does but won't say to break the magic. But it really is that he gets his pre game jitters out by fucking the system before every game and since the first time he fucked them it has worked every since and won't stop changing habits now. It's kinda short compared to my other ones sorry about that.-🐻‍❄️
Don't be sorry about that. I don't mind that it is short a request. I'm just glad that you're even requesting anything from me.
Warnings! Famous reader, sportive boyfriends, nosy reporters, detailed SMUT, flashback sex, blowjob, throat fucking/ skull fucking, A bit short but still good.
MOON SYSTEM X FAMOUS ATHLETE MALE READER
It was a post game interview with some of the star players in the league today including Y/n L/n, Lance Reid, and Matt Evans. The big three that most fans of the sport would call them.
Y/n was the one who stood out from the trio. He was currently undefeated this season. He carried his team to victory. Winning world records, MVP of the year and month back to back. Y/n L/n quickly became the face of the sport. Honestly if anyone disliked him they wouldn't be normal.
So everyone had the same two questions in their mind. "What is this kid doing before games?" And "How is he this lucky?"
Currently Y/n is listening to his teammate Lance rant about "Being healthy." And all that when suddenly he gets cut off by an interviewer interrupting him. "Excuse me! Y/n. I have a important question that the entire world is wondering.
Y/n gives his teammate a quick look to make sure hes okay before leaning closer to the mic. "Well what is it?" Y/n responds back with a slight groan imaging it is another question about his love life.
"Do you have any good luck rituals? Your career so far is outstanding like talent we haven't seen before in the game. So what do you do before a game?"
Flashbacks hits Y/n remembering all the times he fucks his boyfriends before a game.
Y/n snaps his hips back and forth and he bruises Steven's waist holding him still. Steven lets out loud moans as hes bent over on some random table in the empty lockeroom as Y/n fucks him like theres no tomorrow. "Y/---n!~ oh fuu... harder plea-se HaRder!~ ngh!~" The table is shaking from the two lovers. Y/n throws his head back fucking Steven at a faster and a rougher pace. Moans and wet skin slapping against each other can be heard throughout the lockeroom. "Gonna cum Steven! Fuck I'm bout to cum!" Y/n lets go of Steven's waist slamming his hands down on both sides on the table trapping Steven under him. "Cum inside me! Please give it to me! I-I have been a good boy!~" Steven begs dropping his head down on the table with a loud moan as he shoots his own load. "I'm cumming! ohHh god I'm cummin~!" Y/n shouts letting out a few moans cumming deep inside Steven. "Thanks for the good luck wish." Y/n says pulling out of Steven giving him a quick kiss before hurriedly cleaning himself and Steven up before heading out to the game.
Y/n snaps out of the flashback with a light laugh and sorry. "Uhm yeah I have a few things." Some of the "few things" he does are with one of his other boyfriends Marc.
Marc holds onto Y/n's thighs bobbing his head back and forth deepthroating Y/n's cock looking up into his eyes as he does it. Y/n moves his hands through Marc's hair giving it a few light tugs and pulls it from time to time. Marc gags and choke on Y/n's cock as Yn thrust into his mouth drool coating his chin and the taste of precum inside of his mouth. Sometimes it was hard for Marc to breathe but he couldn't care. He wanted to please Y/n by all means necessary. Letting Y/n throat fuck him as if he was just some whore on the street. Marc pulls away from Y/n's throbbing wet cock gasping for air. After he caught all his breath back he doesn't waste a second pushing his head down to the base of Y/n's cock sucking his cock and gagging onto it. "Marc!~ Marc I-i'm gonna cum! I'm about to cum!" Y/n warns pushing Marc head down even lower as he snaps his hips deep inside Marc's throat cumming deeply inside of his throat painting it white. Y/n pulls his cock out of Marc's mouth watching him swallow all the cum that was inside his mouth with no problem. "Fuck Marc... We gotta keep doing this."
"I would tell you all but~ It would only break the magic." Y/n answers in a teasing tone. "I mean it wouldn't work any more if I told you anything." Y/n answers a bit more properly.
"But I can tell you this much. The ritual isn't going anywhere soon."
THE END
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