#i have terrible imposter syndrome and it's gotten a lot worse recently

[galaxywhump]

Welp, it's been almost a month and I'm not sure how to proceed.

I've been in the whump community for over three years, during which I've made both wonderful and bad memories, and recently the latter has started to overshadow the former. I associate a lot of memories with my stories, like what was happening when I posted x chapter, and it's difficult for me to look at my writing and not remember the bad things. Maybe that's the reason why I've also been wondering if continuing my stories is worth it - I haven't given up on them, I'm still really attached to the characters and ideas, but I'm just not sure.

All these doubts and burnout might just be caused by stress as always - I'm still struggling with uni stuff and my mental health - and like I said I have some very fond memories from the community, so I'm not going to make any serious permanent decisions like leaving or abandoning my stories. I just needed to vent, I suppose. And maybe ask for advice.

[ironicatheist7]

I relate to this song a lot. My particular struggles with being isolated a lot in my life led to a lot of terrible self image and self talk. For the longest time I had imposter syndrome with my friends. Even though we may have gotten somewhat intimate with one another, I could not shake the feeling inside of myself like I couldn't really feel it. With romantic relationships it was a billion times worse. But the issues inside of myself are based on very real experience. The only time I truly felt like I could be myself with past people I dated, was when the actual reality was that we just weren't that intimate in all reality. So it went only so far. But recently I met someone who when we spent time together. Had been the first woman that we could just spend time together and perfectly be ourselves together. It was inherently there, we didn't even have to try it just naturally was. Does this mean the same thing to the other person? Maybe not. Maybe they have had plenty of people they could feel like that with. Or whatever. To me it was the most amazing thing ever, like being starved of water for literal decades and finally somebody comes along and gives you a sip. I realized we could have spent time talking about almost anything and we could be ourselves on it with each other.

To me this time with this person showed me that I was wrong. I belong here. I 100% without a doubt knew I belonged with her. I kind of wish we hadn't of met in the circumstances we did, because we had to go 2 different directions. It's okay, I know that. I don't want to just selfishly project that I need to be with this person. I am just saying I am glad that someone could show me that I could have that with someone. To even know the potentiality brings me a lot of peace.