#i have spent MONTHS looking forward to this book i love kaylas writing and then thus ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT happens

[evenstarfalls]

My copy of Icarus came damaged and then my sister spilled tea on it actually fuck my life

[toomanysurveys9]

Are you young at heart, or an old soul? kind of a mix of both, i think, although maybe more of an old soul..

What makes someone a best friend? for me, it’s someone i trust almost more than anyone. we spend time together and talk, but no matter how long we go without doing either, when we do it’s like nothing has changed, if that makes sense. it’s someone that i can have fun with and who is honest with me, even when i might not want to hear it..

What Christmas (or Hanukkah) present do you remember the most? i guess my electric bass guitar. i wanted to learn so bad but then we had to stop lessons and i never started back up..

Tell me about a movie/song/tv show/play/book that has changed your life. there are numerous that have impacted me, but i don’t know about changing my life exactly...

Name one physical feature that you like about yourself, and one you dislike. i like my eyes and hate my legs.

Would you like to reconnect with any friends you’ve lost contact with? i don’t know. there’s a reason we’re not really friends anymore i guess.

What’s more important in a relationship: physical attraction or emotional connection? emotional connection, but you definitely need the physical attraction to some level as well.

Name a movie that you knew would be terrible just from reading the title. the paranormal activity movies.

What holiday do you most look forward to? probably christmas, especially for this year.

How is the relationship between you and your parents? it’s good. we’re close. especially my mom and i.

You’ve got the TV on, but you’re not really watching. What channel is the TV on? whatever someone else decided on.

Name a song that never fails to make you happy. lately i’ve been liking body like a back road by sam hunt. not sure why except it’s kind of fun.

You know at least one person named Michael. Tell me about him. went to school with him, and i don’t know much else.

Have you ever read the “missed connections” on Craigslist? Have you ever posted one, or wanted to? jacob and his sister used to read them for fun when we were all younger, and i was with them a few times. i’ve never posted or wanted to though, no.

If you could pick anywhere to live the rest of your life, where would it be? thinking about georgia. i don’t know. somewhere more south though.

Can money buy happiness? not for long.

Do you drink? Smoke? Do drugs? Why, or why not? i was drinking before i got pregnant. i have not drank since i found out. i’ve never smoked or done any drugs because that’s just not something i was into.

Is there anyone close to you that you know you can’t trust? You don’t have to give names. not anyone close to me. we’re not close if i can’t trust you.

Where was your favorite place to go when you were a little kid? florida trips.

Have you ever spent a night in the hospital? yeah. numerous times growing up.

Do you enjoy being with only one or two friends, or with a large group of people? depends, but in general i prefer one or two friends over a large group.

Do you like the type of music your parents listen to? Do your parents like the type of music you listen to? i like some of the music they listen to, but definitely not all. and same goes for them too.

Have you ever been bullied? Have you ever bullied anyone else? i have been bullied but i have not bullied.

If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? i’m not sure. that’s a long time to eat one thing. i guess cereal would be my pick lately. i love cereal right now. lol.

If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship? i would have been fine if jake had wanted to wait.

Do you believe in a god? i do not.

Of all the social networks in the world, why use Tumblr? it’s a good place to do surveys and stuff. plus no one i know knows i have this so i can be a little more open, although i still hold some back because i’m afraid of people finding it.

What’s your favorite Tumblr tag to track? probably surveys.

Would you call yourself/your family “middle class?” lower middle class, but yeah.

Name a TV series you didn’t enjoy until after it ended. i didn’t find person of interest until after it ended..

Have you ever bought a product from an infomercial? i have not.

If you could give up your car and never have to drive again, would you? no, i don’t think i’d like that. i haven’t had my car for months now and it gets frustrating not being able to go anywhere because my mom always has it and is never home...

If you go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say? if you’re going to talk to him, just don’t trust him. he’s only going to hurt you. a lot.

What’s your “quirkiest” habit? i only eat fries that don’t have weird marks or weird coloring..

What is “normal?” Are you normal? i’m definitely not what most would describe as normal, i don’t think.

Someone close to you is dying. You have the choice to let this person live for 10 more years, but if you do, you cause the death of 10 strangers. You don’t have to see them die. Do you take the offer? i’m not sure what i would do.. i’ve never been in this situation.. i guess it’d depend on a lot of things..

What is one thing you could never forgive? abuse of another person or animal in any way.

Would you rather be in a relationship after the honeymoon period ends, or be single? in the relationship, of course.

Is it possible for guys and girls to be just friends? of course it is possible.

Where do you and your friends go to hang out? usually they come to our house.

Write the first paragraph of your obituary. i have no idea where to begin..

What is the best TV theme song ever? i don’t know.. i’m not a huge fan of any of them..

When you were young, what would you dream you would be when you grew up? a country singer. lol.

When you’re alone in your own home, do you walk around naked? no. because i’m never alone. and it’d just be weird.

What gets you out of bed in the morning? usually the need to use the bathroom.

Do you want to have more friends than you have right now? i mean, it wouldn’t hurt.. i have one friend, and that’s it.

What part of the past year sticks out in your mind? graduating college. getting married. getting pregnant. hanging out with friends and family..

You win a scratch-off lottery game that gives you $2000 a week (after taxes) for the rest of your life. Do you keep your job? i am not currently working, but i would probably like to still. jacob is horrible with money and i’d want to make sure wyatt, jake, and myself were taken care of.

Could you be in a long-distance relationship? If you’re in one, what makes yours work? i wouldn’t want to do that at this point, because it’d mean my husband would be living far away from me and that would suck.

What’s the best route to your heart? being nice and understanding i guess.

Have you ever met someone through the internet, then met them in real life? nope.

What is your favorite sport? i’m not really into sports.

What has been troubling you lately? still not over the cough from being sick, and my voice is still a bit off. there’s also some pregnancy stuff no one would really want to hear about. lol.

Did you enjoy your high school prom? If you haven’t gotten there yet, do you look forward to it? If you didn’t go, why not? it was fun. kind of too many people in a small area but i had fun with jacob.

What do you use more often: your intuition or logical reasoning? i would say logical reasoning.

Do you know what makes you happy? well, yeah.

Tell me about the last book you read. it’s like criminal minds but with a bunch of special teenagers.

What is the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given? i don’t know..

Who was your first crush? chris.

Do you believe that there is life on other planets? definitely not aliens like most people think of..

Predict what your life will look like a year from now. i will be working. hopefully living somewhere else and preparing to move out of state. wyatt will also be born, and he’ll be almost a year old by then. hopefully things with jake will still be good. maybe kayla will have more time to hangout again, but hopefully we’ll still be friends regardless.

Often, people will ask how your last relationship ended. I want to know how it began. he went to my church, and then ended up at my school after getting kicked out of his.. i wanted a boyfriend and knew he liked me..

Where is your favorite place to go out and eat? i don’t know anymore. i guess texas roadhouse.

What is something you want to change about your current situation? i want baby boy to come soon!

Early bird or night owl? definitely more a night owl.

Are there any childhood possessions you still hold on to? i have a winnie the pooh blanket.

Give me an unpopular opinion you have. i can’t think of anything right now. i know there is something. i just can’t think.

What was the last song that was stuck in your head? better man by little big town.

Where do you live? Be as general or specific as you want. indiana.

Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation? i don’t really care.. i feel there are more important things to worry about.

What was the longest car ride you’ve ever taken? to florida when we used to go there.

Have you ever taken part in a protest? i have not.

Would you ever use an online dating service? nope.

What is your ethnic heritage? well, scottish, native american (not much, but some), and i think that’s it, but not sure..

Describe a person that inspires you. my mom. she’s always been so strong and she does anything for those she loves. she’s had so many struggles, and she has managed to get through them without giving up no matter how badly she might have wanted to..

If you earn minimum wage doing what you love, would you? i don’t think i would be able to stay in a job like that.. i have to think about more people than just myself..

Do you believe in luck? not really, no.

Describe the last time you were very angry at someone. tito last weekend because he just showed me yet again that he’s a lying asshole i never should have trusted.

Do you want to live until you’re 100? that’d depend on how i was living, i think.

Do people change? If so, how do you keep a relationship together when both of you start to change? people definitely do change. as for how to keep a relationship together, you either work through them or end things..

Have you ever risked a friendship by telling someone you liked them? probably.

Would you rather be alone doing something you enjoy, or doing something you don’t like with your best friends? doing something i enjoy alone.

Do you practice what you preach? for the most part, but i mess up sometimes too.

If you take precautions to stay safe, do you ultimately act more recklessly? no. i’m not really a reckless person.

What do you value more in a significant other: Attractiveness or intelligence? intelligence for sure.

Are you hard-headed? sometimes, yeah.

Have you ever laughed uncontrollably when it was socially inappropriate? not uncontrollably...

When have you felt most alive? i don’t know, to be honest..

Would you prefer to live? A city? The suburbs? The countryside? The mountains? city or countryside.

Do you often skip breakfast? not since getting pregnant. i get sick if i do.

How do you know what true love is? it’s different for everyone i think.

Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die? probably not.

Where is “home” for you? two trailers with those i love.

What song best describes your life right now? you’re gonna be.

Do you want to be perfect? not necessarily.

What have you never tried, but would really like to someday? What’s holding you back? i don’t know, to be honest.

How do you express your creativity? write occasionally.

Describe your neighborhood. too many rules, but mostly quiet and safe.

Name something you only liked because it was popular. i can’t think of anything.

Give me the story of your life in six words. it has been a complete mess.

[rheyareads]

I think too much and now I need to write about it….

Okay before we begin what will likely be a short novel filled with random ideas and thoughts, I need to tell you all, dear readers, that I have typed, deleted and re-typed what was going to be my beginning sentence 4 times now because every variation I read had some grammatical error that I was self-editing and tried to fix to please my graduate professors who would likely throw up at the ridiculously long run-on sentence I have now typed out. So, with that being said – please be warned, this will be riddled with grammatical inaccuracies and likely contain an exuberant amount of split infinitives and dangling participles designed to take you on an emotional journey rather than please your concise, well thought out, hearts.

I turn 30 this year.

I’d like to point out that while I might physically turn 30, I don’t know that I’ll mentally turn 30. The idea is a bit too complex for me to fully comprehend as there are some days it feels like I’m still 22, bumbling around like Taylor Swift thinking everything will be alright if I just keep dancing around like an idiot.

I’ve done a lot of self-reflection over the last couple of months and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m not very happy with my life. Now, I know what you’re thinking – GASP – Kayla, say it isn’t true! You’re so positive! I can’t fathom you’d ever speak negatively about yourself, your looks, your life, your status, your direction, etc. etc.  – I know. I’m as shocked as you. But all kidding aside, I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember and the unhappiness I’m describing goes deeper than anything I think I’ve experienced before and its left me with this emptiness that I am struggling to move past. In the past year, I left my job and totally switched career paths, thus leaving behind the very thing I spent the better part of 9 years working towards as an adult, went from living alone, away from my friends and family to living with a roommate and mere minutes away from friends and family, and lost the best parental figure I’ve ever known to a brutal battle with cancer.

And while there have been wonderful things that have happened throughout my life and this past year, I feel like I am starting over with absolutely no direction. I’ve given a lot of thought lately about what I want to be remembered for, what I want my legacy to say when I’m gone, and usually I become so confused and overwhelmed I take out my phone and ignore the question by playing a game.

I think what’s tripped me up the most is wondering how many people in my life know my true, authentic self (and subsequently – what IS my true authentic self). I know how I WISH to be portrayed to others, but I’m not always aware of how others perceive me to be and I think that information is important when questioning the type of impact you have. I have a nagging suspicion my love of literature has led me to romanticize ideas and build up expectations for others that aren’t always realistic to how people interact with one another. As a result, I’m left disappointed in the relationships I have, always feeling like I don’t get back what I give to people. But the more I think about it, the more I wonder, what DO I give to others? Do I have an impact at all? Do I offer anything besides surface level friendship and self-deprecating and often distracting humor?

 A while ago, I asked a close friend of mine to tell me what they think matters most to me and their answers honestly stunned me. They weren’t necessarily wrong ( I think they said something like, friends and family, music, helping people – which are all true things) but it surprised me that it differed so much from how I would describe myself as a person and what I value most ( for example, the thing I value most is my work ethic and being viewed as someone who contributes and betters whatever it is I work on; I value passion and drive and gravitate towards other who are similar, I appreciate creativity and creative outlets of all kinds and prefer simple things like dinner with friends, movie nights in and reading to outlandish adventures or outings at bars because I like the intimacy they give; I’m emotional to a fault and sometimes have to backtrack because I let emotions cloud my judgement in important situations— that’s how I would describe myself). While it’s unfair of me to assume someone should just KNOW all of that, it still bothered me that the answer I was given wasn’t anywhere close to my own perception of who I am.

I think I’ve thought a lot about this more recently because my Aunt passed away and I saw what an incredible legacy and lasting impact she’s left on not only me, but every person she ever knew. She was without a doubt the most confident and unapologetically authentic woman I’ve ever known and there was no question that everyone who knew her saw her for who she was, through and through.

I think one reason I worry that people don’t have a real sense of who I am is because I choose which parts of me to let people see. I’m a social chameleon, capable of adapting to the crowd that I’m in order to fit in, so it’s sometimes hard for me to even decipher who I truly want to be versus who I think I need to be in order to gain acceptance. I am someone who doesn’t shy away from explaining past traumatic experiences or how I’m feeling (hello, facebook, my old frienddddd) but I also don’t typically elaborate on the true depth of those emotions for the sake of others.

For example, if someone asks me how I’m doing, I don’t typically give them the full truth of the answer because I know that the truth would likely make them uncomfortable and they’d be unsure of what to do. Additionally, most people who ask how you are don’t really want you to be honest, they just want you to know they made an attempt to connect and then move on with their day. Now, that may sound harsh, but it’s inherently true. We don’t ask “how ya doing” to have someone respond with “actually, I’m horrible and let me tell you why” – we ask because it’s socially expected for us to ask, and we hope the person reciprocates with the same and we move on to a short, surface level empty conversation before diving back into our phones/work/kids/etc.

So, in an effort to be more transparent and to get some things off my chest and into the universe somewhere, I thought it might help if I wrote out some of the complexities of my unhappiness to try and start figuring out where to move forward to change that. I think the transparency will help people learn a little more about the person I actually am, rather than just who I choose to show people. Maybe that will change opinions about me, maybe it won’t. I’ve decided to start using my blog for this because well… it’s a blog. More than that, I find writing out my thoughts and feelings therapeutic, but I think it’s important that I share that with others too in order to take it a step further. Maybe my thoughts can help inspire/encourage/motivate others, or maybe they can just help shed light on why I’m the specific brand of weird that I am.

Most importantly, I think we always wait to reflect on our relationships until a person is gone and I don’t want to do that. I want people to know how I feel about them, how their friendship/mentorship/love has changed me, for better or worse, before it’s too late to tell them. I also want to be able to change the depth of my relationships before it gets to be too late for me. And, in some aspect, I truly do believe in the idea that feelings are truly felt until they’re expressed to someone else and I think a lot of the reason I feel so unhappy with the trajectory of my life is that I’ve bottled a lot of this up and haven’t shared it with anyone in it’s entirety. Enter the internet….

With that being said, I’m long winded so I certainly can’t post it all in one sitting (well… I could…but the likelihood of anyone reading through it all is slim to none…. Unless you’re a past co-worker who wants to turn me in – HEYYYOOOO – bad joke…long story…maybe you’ll learn the tale late). So for now, I’ll leave you with the idea that sparked this whole project of mine.

As I mentioned hours ago, I turn 30 this year.

With that, I’d like to do 30 things in my 30th year. I think this will help give me focus and direction as I explore why it is I’m so miserable, and hopefully will help me, as they say, “find myself”. So here is my list:

1.       Do something that scares me (posting this nonsense might count as this – TBD)

2.       Volunteer somewhere

3.       Spend more time with my nieces/nephews

4.       Make a concerted effort to be more financially responsible

5.       Make an even more concerted effort to eat healthier and avoid early death from organ failure.

6.       Actually use the gym membership I pay for.

7.       Travel outside the country (or plan a trip to do that – see  number 4)

8.       Make an honest effort to go on a date with someone I don’t actually know.

9.       Try a little harder at my appearance (i.e. style my hair, maybe wear makeup)

10.   Get a dog

11.   Visit my friends who live out of state

12.   Go to NYC and see another broadway show

13.   Sing in some type of performance-based thing (musical/choir etc.)

14.   Explore my spirituality and faith and grow closer to God.

15.   Read my Bible more

16.   Say no more often and find balance in my work and life

17.   Plan and organize things ahead of time rather than flying by the seat of my pants

18.   Help someone with something even if I don’t want to

19.   Forgive people for things I’m holding on too

20.   Call or text my friends more to see how they’re doing rather than just to complain about things

21.   Be more attentive during conversations and live in the moment

22.   Spend less time on my phone

23.   Read ALL THE BOOKS (or at least 50)

24.   Write more often – feelings, fiction, prose, doesn’t matter – just do it

25.   Pay off a student loan

26.   Learn how to do something new

27.   Be nicer to my family even if it’s super hard

28.   Buy less things and invest in more experiences

29.   Take more pictures with people

30. Be more positive and talk about myself with less negativity.

So there you go folks, that’s my list. I’m also open to suggestions if there are other things people think I should add. I’m all for ideas!

So this is the start of my journey. If you’ve read this, thanks, friend – I appreciate that you care enough! I don’t know what will come next, but I’m hoping it will be interesting enough that you’ll stick around.

As I think about what comes next, I need to say this – I am fully aware that I am a very privileged person in many avenues and as a result I think I sometimes down play the impact that certain things have had on my life. As a counselor I’ve been trained to connect to the emotions rooted in a persons experience and can often find the deeper meaning buried in something seemingly small to others, but I struggle immensely with connecting to my own. At any rate, I’m going to attempt to do so by being brutally honest about the things that plague me most in my never ending thought parade in my head. There is a large chance that while I will not name names of people who are involved, there is a strong likelihood that you may know who I’m referring to, or be the person I’m referring to. It’s not my intent to degrade, demean or demonize (alliteration for the wiiiiin) anyone with these posts. This is about ME. No one else. Also, let’s remember there are two perspectives to every situation and I am likely just as much at fault as anyone.

I just want that disclaimer out there for anyone who may read things later on and become frustrated. If you find yourself frustrated, please just talk to me. Connecting is more or less what this whole thing is about.

With that, I leave you all until next time (whenever I decide that will be).

from WordPress https://rheyareads.wordpress.com/2019/02/14/i-think-too-much-and-now-i-need-to-write-about-it/

[ges-sa]

Cosplayer Of The Month August 2017 | Kay Bee Cosplay

New Post has been published on https://ges-sa.com/cosplayer-of-the-month-august-2017-kay-bee-cosplay/

Cosplayer Of The Month August 2017 | Kay Bee Cosplay

[vc_row][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_single_image image=”26512″ img_size=”large” alignment=”right” style=”vc_box_circle”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_gallery type=”image_grid” images=”26522,26521,26520,26519,26517,26514,26513,26511,26510″][vc_column_text]Our Cosplayer of the Month for August 2017 is the lovely Kayla from Kay Bee Cosplay. Kayla is a Johannesburg based Cosplayer and I’ve always liked her attention to detail in her cosplays. Let’s find out a bit more about the lady behind Kay Bee Cosplay…[/vc_column_text][vc_column_text]Hi there lady! Tell us a bit more about the person behind the cosplay persona?

Hi! I’m Kayla. Bubbly, kind, enthusiastic and passionate about everything I do. By day I’m a 3D animator and character designer and when I’m not creating magic, I’m a full time fan girl.

How and when did you get started in Cosplay and why do you enjoy it?

I’ve always known about cosplay but didn’t know it existed in South Africa until I went to Geekfest in 2015. I was overwhelmed by the amount of cosplayers and I wanted to get involved too. So I promised myself for Geekfest 2016 I would do a full cosplay, wig, outfit, and the lot. I did it and I have been cosplaying ever since.

I love cosplay because it’s the one chance I get to be my favorite characters. It’s also another way for me to get creative and make new friends who are as passionate as I am about cosplay.

Do you have any hobbies or interests outside of cosplaying?

Yes! Lots in fact. I love to read and sometimes I write. I draw all the time since I’m an aspiring fan artist. Dancing is in my DNA. I began Irish Dancing at age 9, moving onto Latin and Ballroom when I was 18. During this time I also took up horse riding, really enjoying dressage. Now I figure skate. Oh… I forgot to mention, I also take art lessons.

We all know that cosplay has been become a very expensive hobby these days, do you have hints or tips for other cosplayers as far as cutting down expenses etc. are concerned?

Wise things I’ve learnt

Create a budget, that includes cosplay outfits for the year, convention entrance fees, transportation costs and a little bit extra for just in case.

Look for bargains. Sales come up all the time so keep an eye out, you may be able to snag a great deal on something you need.

Raid your cupboards for odds and ends you could use.

Remember you don’t have to go to every cosplay event and re-wear your cosplays.

What is the one thing that you try and avoid when making a new costume?

I try to avoid comparing my work to others. Since we live in a world where we have access to large volumes of content, it’s very easy to compare. I start a new cosplay with the mindset that this is my version of a particular character and I’m going to try and do it to the best of my ability.

Every Cosplayer has a favourite part of creating a costume or something they are really good at, what is yours?

I love 3D modeling my props.

Tell us about your most epic fail ever, whilst crafting a cosplay costume

It was the week before ICON 2017 and I was busy with Princess Talia’s top. I had to cut out a particular shape on the front panel. So I marked everything, pinned it all down and cut the shape out. Needless to say I cut the shape out of the front and back. I spent the next hour unpicking and replacing the back panel.

Which character do you consider to be your Holy Grail of cosplays?

I believe that each year I will have a particular character who I will consider my Holy Grail of cosplays. One that will put my creativity to the test. This year that character was Princess Talia from Lolirock.

Which international con would you really love to go to and why?

I’m going to be cliché but I would love to go to the San Diego Comic Con. It was the con that introduced me to the world of cosplay when I was 13. To go would be an incredible experience. I would look forward to all the cosplayers, the panels with my favorite creators and I would go on a shopping spree in the artist ally.

South Africa’s convention scene has been growing leaps and bounds over the last couple of years. Do you have any tips for the other cosplayers as to how to stay comfortable throughout the day?

Tips and Tricks

Get a good night’s rest. Cons are really not enjoyable when you’re super exhausted.

Take a bag, with water, snacks and an emergency cosplay kit in it.

Stop and take a break every few hours.

If you’re wearing heels, pack a pair of flats.

Take the season into account when planning your cosplay lineup. You don’t want to be freezing or overheating.

[/vc_column_text][vc_single_image image=”26515″ img_size=”large” alignment=”center” onclick=”img_link_large”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row css=”.vc_custom_1445504261410border-top-width: 3px !important;border-top-color: #aa71e2 !important;border-top-style: solid !important;”][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]Cosplayer Bio

Real name Kayla Bubb Cosplay name Kay Bee Cosplay Age 22 Current home town Johannesburg

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]Find Kay Bee Cosplay On Social Media

Facebook Kay Bee Cosplay Instagram KayBee Cosplay Twitter @kaybee_worx

[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_column_text]Cosplayer Roulette

My favorite anime/manga is

Yuri!!! On Ice

Why do you like this particular title?

I love this anime with my heart and soul. There is just something about the characters and the storyline that had me hooked from the first episode.

Yuri’s story is inspiring and heartwarming. In many ways we are alike and I have never related to a character as much as I did with him. It brought back motivation I had lost and made me dream again. ”

My favorite platform to watch or experience my favorite titles is

Movies, TV Series, Books

Complete the sentence: I want to run after them and tell them that……

…………. if you can dream it you can do it.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][vc_column width=”1/2″][vc_single_image image=”26518″ img_size=”large”][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]

Pictures were supplied to GES-SA by the featured Cosplayer. We do not own these pictures so if you do, and you would like to us to add the credit please drop us a mail to linda@ges-sa.com

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