hi bina!!!!! I'm cackling at the fact that you popped up in my dash because of thick shiro. it's been a long time since I've seen you. I've missed you and your art so much!!! I hope you have been doing well!! <3
-🌸
hi!! :D
i've been doing a little better these days, thankfully! i'm glad i could grace your dashboard with The Man Himself.. B^) all of us could use more thicc shiro tbh.. hope you've been doing well too!! <3
Really fucked up that two ppl can care about each other and make their best efforts to communicate and still end up hurting each other so badly they cannot stand to be in the same room.
I'm still here just not really active because I don't have a lot of time currently and with being just tired and exhausted after work... my art WIPs etc have to kinda take a backseat at the moment, I'm sorry.
There are so many things planned this year already and changes happened at my workplace (but in a good way, I'm learning about CGI/Blender :D!).
I'm excited for most of them, hopeful that everything will work out and trying to keep my anxiety under control (No overthinking!), but it will also mean that I won't have as much time for my hobbies as I would like to have, but I'll try my best~...
ive seen ppl saying smth in the wider plagiarism discussion to the tune of "don't worry anxious people, it's impossible to accidentally plagiarize!" and i feel like that lacks a lot of nuance that anxious brains like mine latch on to to just dismiss the possibility outright, as well as a lack of life experiences fueling it.
it is possible to "accidentally plagiarize" in that you can read something, forget about it, then a while later have your brain spit the ideas back out without telling where it got them. so of course you just assume they're yours and share them as such, because That's Where Most Of The Thoughts In Your Head Come From! and it both is and isn't plagiarism, you weren't /intending/ to pass someone's else's work off as your own, i'd even say in a way you were just as much a victim of misinformation as your audience. but you very much so did still resuse the work of someone else, even if you don't remember it.
but in my experience, this kind of thing also happens to a lot of people. you tell a friend a joke then wake up in a cold sweat two days later realizing the reason they didnt laugh was because they'd told you that joke a month ago. you reply to a friend's text and after sending you realized you ended it with the same exact phrase as theirs. you're writing edgy poetry and write a line you really like only to see it in a text post two days later saying youve already liked the post. like, it happens. so if it DOES happens and you're just honest and explain, people will understand. something like "oh shit im sorry, i totally have read that, i mustve forgotten and only remembered bits and pieces and just thought they were mine. thank you for letting me know and for the source" works wonders.
people know you can forget things. people won't automatically doubt your apology just because all true plagiarists say it was accidental. HOPEFULLY people can understand the nuance between a genuine remorseful explanation, and a thief who hoped no one would find out scrambling for excuses for why they did it. and those who can't, that's a them problem, not a you problem, you've taken responsibility for your actions as much as you can. they think the answer is simple, that the only thing stopping you from saying "yes i did it on purpose, i knew the whole time and deliberately copied them" is shame/inability to admit to your actions. but sometimes things AREN'T that simple, so imo ppl who are shitty to you for not following the script they made up for you in their head should be ignored
I just typed out a really long rant about like the shame I feel about being autistic and getting this obsessed with things and how hard it is to let go of that and just let myself like things as intensely as I do since it's literally fine and my therapist is encouraging me to but like I still feel so guilty and embarrassed all the time because I learned from a young age that I should be and that I should really try to suppress all aspects of my personality to avoid being a weird sad obsessive annoying freak or whatevs and how it's way worse with my current obsession because I have a longer history and deeper emotional connection with it than basically anything else which means that it's both more intense than other fixations and I also automatically feel so much embarrassment because I was made fun of so badly in high school for being the weird tmbg guy and yet I couldn't stop myself from talking about them 24/7 and it's so frustrating the way that always happens to me where if I'm just like I wish I could shut up about this but I feel like if I don't talk about it constantly I'm actually going to die and it's just so exhausting and frustrating and I know from experience it will start to be more manageable after a while but trying to fight it just makes me miserable and makes the fixation even worse and it's like I desperately wish I wasn't this way but also beating myself up about it does nothing to make me Not that way so there's just no point and my therapist is literally like you need to stop judging yourself and just have fun with your interests like if you want to spend several hours listening to bootlegs and reading interviews just do that without judgement or feeling like you wasted time since doing that literally makes you happy and is fine . and im like this is true. Probably. But how. But anyway tumblr errored and it didn't post which is probably for the best because it was 5 times longer than this
i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)
honestly i feel like it’s around 70% done (at 4k words, it’s gonna be a long one lols). but honestly i’ve had like no motivation to write at all for the last couple weeks :( i’m trying tho
some encouragement would be nice i feel.. i Know my writing is good but my brain is making me think it’s shit >:( i hate feeling this way about the stuff i make
I have so many stuff I wanna write but they're all bouncing in my head like several dvd screensavers so instead of catching one of em I proceed to just play video games.