#i have so much schoolwork due tomorrow which is annoying as hell

[aphelea]

happy diwali to any of y’all who celebrate :)

[mischiefandi]

Chapter 5: The Body (Blue Moon Series)

A/N: I totally forgot to do an author’s note wth haha, oh well, enjoy!

Summary: Y/N McCall, Scott McCall’s younger sister, starts her first year at Beacon Hills High School when something unexpected happens to her brother. Her entire world is turned upside down and it is up to her to figure out how to juggle romance, schoolwork, friendship and the supernatural without risking her life (too much)

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death, Stiles making terrible werewolf puns

Word Count: 7,4 K words

 Chapter 4 & Chapter 6

6:41, McCall House

Derek rushed to Scott and gripped his shoulders before pushing him against the wall of the back of the room in one swift movement, Y/N shrieking as he pulled her with him. Holding the teenager by the neck and pressed against the wall, Derek leaned in close and shook Y/N’s arm slightly as she tried to get a way as best she could, knowing full well her strength would never compare to the werewolf’s.

“I saw you on the field,” hissed Derek and Scott, panicking, huffed heavily as he tried to catch his breath.

“What are you talking about?” wailed Scott.

Y/N’s heart thumped against her ribs as she kept trying to pry her wrist out of Derek’s tightly closed fist. The man suddenly yelled and it made her whole body freeze, tension running through it at his words.

“You shifted in front of them! If they find out what you are, they find out about me, about all of us-” he started but Y/N cut him off.

“-let us go! Stop!” she exclaimed, as she tried to kick him in the leg but he didn’t even wince at the contact of her foot against the crook of his knee, his only reaction being twisting her wrist. She groaned and whimpered, her mouth ridden of any words she was planning to say.

“And then it’s not just the hunters after us, it’s everyone.”

Scott tried his best to exhale but to no avail, Derek’s thumb pressing against his windpipe.

“They- didn’t see anything, I swear!” he tried to convince his aggressor.

“And they won’t. Because if you even try to play in that game on Saturday,” he turned to look at a terrified yet clearly angry Y/N, “I’ll kill her.”

After those terrorizing words slipped from his lips, Derek let go of both of the McCalls and jumped out of the window carelessly. Scott fell to the ground, wheezing. Y/N sat on the bed and tried to slow her rapid heartbeat, face flushed and eyes wide.

“Holy shit,” whispered Stiles and she sent him a glare through the webcam.

“Holy shit? Holy shit? Seriously? This is the guy that killed that girl in the woods? This is Derek Hale?” she exclaimed, furious with both her brother and the boy with his mouth left agape.

“In the flesh…”

“Oh my god. What in god’s name did you get yourselves into?” she whined, letting her back fall onto the bed with a quiet thump.

“I think you already know the answer to that Y/N, otherwise you wouldn’t be in this room right now.”

She immediately turned her head to the laptop and Stiles regretted his previous sentence. She got up and walked towards the computer, pointing slightly at the webcam.

“No. You do not get to be a smartass right now Stiles. I’m going to die because of you, dickheads!” She shot around to meet Scott’s eyes.

“And you. You are not playing on Saturday. I don’t care what Allison says, what mom says, I don’t give the slightest crap what Coach says. You are not even going to sit in the bleachers. Got it?” she said, seething.

“Got it,” answered a petrified Scott, still lying against the wall.

“Good. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a shower. Try not to set the house on fire or conjure up a ghost while I’m gone please.” And she walked out.

“I don’t know who’s more lethal, Derek or your sister.”

Friday, 12:34, Beacon Hills Indoor Cafeteria

A week had gone by since the incident in Scott’s bedroom. Classes were long and tiresome, homework was demanding and time-consuming. However, school was the least of her worries. Unfortunately, even a week hadn’t been long enough for Derek’s traumatizing words to erase themselves from Y/N’s memory, let alone for them to lose their importance in her mind. He was dangerous, that much was clear, and what was even more dangerous about the teenagers’ situation was the fact that they knew nothing about him. All she could think about as her teachers droned on about the concept of democracy and French irregular verbs was- well…literally everything.

Stiles had spent the whole week trying to listen in on the Sheriff department’s calls and he had even tried to log on his father’s computer. The password having unfortunately been changed, his plans had fallen through. He had also spent quite few hours bringing Y/N up to speed with everything that had happened since that fateful night when Scott got bitten. She thanked him, knowing however that the extra information hadn’t given her the feel of peace she thought she would get, instead, it just made her even more anxious.

First of all, because now she knew just how positively dead they were, secondly, because this meant she had more to keep from Carrie. She felt terrible about Carrie being left in the dark about all of this. Truth be told, she wanted more than anything to come clean about her latest “adventures”, hell, even just to ask for advice. How was she supposed to deal with this alone?

“But you’re not alone,” Stiles had told her after she had tried convincing him and her brother to give her permission to tell Carrie the truth. They didn’t get it though. Obviously, they were in on this too, they knew what was going on and they had assured that she was a part of “Wolfie Club” as Stiles had jokingly called it. But still, she felt alone. She needed her friend.

That kind of secret was a burden that her little shoulders just couldn’t carry on her own. One could argue that she didn’t have to listen to her brother and friend, but she was loyal and once promises had been spoken, they had to be kept. No point in discussing it any further.

So the fifteen year old girl sat in her seat at lunch that Friday ignoring Stiles and Scott’s banter, wondering to herself how on earth she was going to manage holding her tongue, helping them out and not imploding due to the giant ball of stress and fear growing in her abdomen, all at the same time.

“-right? Y/N?”

“What?” Y/N snapped out of her daze.

“You agree with me right? We have to find the body. Well- the top part,” said Stiles, tripping over his words.

“I’m sorry, can we rewind?” she asked, rubbing at her forehead.

“Stiles’ dad just installed a curfew. He’s looking for the murderer-” said Scott until Stiles interrupted him hurriedly.

“-meanwhile we know who the killer is!”

“Stiles, we can’t just tell your dad what we know,’ said Y/N.

“Which is exactly why we need to look for proof so that we can get Derek arrested for his crimes and so we don’t need to deal with his death threats anymore!”

Stiles leaned back in his seat and bit excessively at his apple, his anxiety obviously through the roof right then. Y/N felt bad for him. She had been so busy thinking about how this whole “thing” affected her, not even taking a minute to realize the fact that her best friend was probably about to overdose on Adderall.

“Well, yeah, okay I agree but how? I mean it’s not like you’re the best sleuth in the world Sti, you can’t even shut up for more than ten seconds, let alone sneak around in a house with a murderer slash werewolf hot on your trail.”

Stiles sniffed and bit his lip as he furiously tapped his knee against the edge of the cafeteria table. He turned to Scott who was picking at his pasta in silence.

“Hey did you talk to Coach about tomorrow?”

“Yeah…”

“Scott…are you or are you not playing tomorrow night?” questioned Y/N, feeling her heart beat a little faster by the minute.

“I- I don’t know.” Stiles and Y/N scoffed and groaned but he threw his hands up in defense.

“You don’t understand! Allison’s coming to the game, so is Mom! And Lydia said I had to play or she’d introduce Allison to the other players.”

“Let her! Jesus, Scott! You’re seriously picking your one week long girlfriend over your sister’s life and safety?”

“And yours?” added Stiles, bewildered and annoyed.

“And the poor kid’s life?” hissed Y/N, noticing that people were starting to turn their heads in their direction.

“Who’s?”

“The kid who’s gonna find himself at the wrong place at the wrong time and who’s either going to die or bleed. A lot,” she said angrily.

“Okay, okay! There’s a lot on the line. I know that.”

Scott slumped back into his seat and closed his eyes. Stiles and Y/N shared a look and frowned.

“Look, we’re sorry about this. Okay? It’s not fair. But you don’t have a choice Scott.”

“She’s right Scott. I’m sorry.”

Scott looked down and sighed but nodded.

“Guess I should tell Allison then,” he said before pushing away his tray and sliding his arm in the strap of his backpack as he walked away.

Y/N sighed and mournfully looked at her club sandwich, still neatly placed in her paper plate. Stiles munched on a large piece of apple as he turned to her and stopped when he noticed her plate.

“Hey, you haven’t even touched that. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Really?”

He chuckled and tilted his head in agreement.

“Okay, maybe we are experiencing our fair share of problems right now but is that all this is?”

Y/N paused and looked down at her lap.

“I’ve been a little distant from Carrie ever since this weekend.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t even look at her without wanting to spill everything about Scott. I mean, you guys are lucky. You’ve got each other, you’re a pair.” Stiles opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off before he could. “And- don’t say that’s not true because you know that it is.  Sti, you’re my best friend and Scott’s my brother, but you guys are brothers as well.

“I can spend as much time with you two as I want, it’s never gonna change the fact that my relationship with you is different from your relationship with Scott. And it’s okay. I don’t mind, I realized that a long time ago. But it means that you’re a pair and I’m a single. I have Carrie, but I can’t bring her into all of this.”

“You can’t be a pair,” said Stiles, nodding his head slowly.

“I can’t be a pair.” Y/N bit her lip as he reached for her hand and cupped it with his own.

“I’m sorry that you can’t tell her all about this, Blue. I really am. I wish you could. Maybe one day, Scott’ll tell you he’s okay with it but for now, it does have to stay between us.”

“I know.”

“Okay.”

Y/N squeezed his hand and let go of it, reaching for her sandwich and digging in.

4:02, McCall House

After school, Y/N rode home on her bike and let it fall on the grass of the front lawn, too tired to prop it against the wall of the house. Walking up the stairs after having gotten a water bottle from the fridge, she took out her phone and tapped on the Messages app.

Y/N: hey Car i missed u this week. wanna hang this weekend? watch dumb romcoms and have pizza?

Y/N walked into her room and sat down on her bed, pulling off her little black boots from her sore feet as she yawned. This week had simply been exhausting. Suddenly, she heard her phone emit a ding and she turned it on in a flash hoping it would be Carrie.

Scott: I found something guys, both of you come to my room asap

Y/N didn’t hesitate and went straight into Scott’s room, shutting the door behind her, a pang of disappointment floating around her stomach. She turned around and saw what Scott was doing.

“What happened to your lacrosse stick?” she gasped, rushing towards him and snatching it away from him.

“I went to see Derek,” he answered, looking at his stick, more precisely, at the torn net.

“Why?”

“He’s messing with Allison. I think he’s going to hurt her if we don’t act fast.”

Y/N raised the stick and her eyebrow simultaneously at him.

“He doesn’t know you have replacement string, does he?”

“I think it was more so to prove a point.”

“Ah.”

She sat on the floor next to his bed, looking up at him as he shifted over his covers.

“So, what did-“

“-what did you find? How did you find it? Where did you find it? And, yes, I’ve had a lot of Adderall, so-,” Stiles said quickly and loudly as he entered running into Scott’s bedroom. He stopped, heaving and blinking his eyes a couple of times before trying to catch his breath.

“I found something at Derek Hale’s,” answered Scott.

“Are you kidding? What?” interrogated Stiles before turning to Y/N and taking a step back as though he hadn’t seen her, “Oh hey Y/N.”

“Hi?” she replied, the corners of her mouth quirking up a bit at his hyperactive behavior.

“There’s something buried there– I could smell blood,” Scott answered, screwing his nose up a bit.

“Wait what?”

“That’s awesome! I mean that’s terrible. Who’s blood?”

“I don’t know. But when we do, your dad nails Derek for the murder. And then, you guys help me figure out a way to play lacrosse without changing. Because there’s no way I’m not playing that game.” Scott got up as Y/N nodded.

“Sounds like a plan,” she said, pensively.

“We need gloves, a night vision camera, binoculars-“

“-Stiles, we’re not the FBI,” laughed Scott.

“And besides, we’re not going to Derek’s. At least not right now,” Y/N said with an all-knowing look on her face.

“Rrrright,” Stiles said, nodding, “where are we going then?”

“We’re going to the hospital,” she answered the confused boy and Scott and him shared a look as she started explaining her plan.

5:16, Beacon Hills Hospital

Y/N walked into the main hall of the Beacon Hills hospital clutching her wrist with her other hand. After a few minutes of taking the elevator and finding her way, she treaded lightly to her right and peeked at the front desk on the second floor. Sure enough, her mom was there. Sliding her phone out from her back pocket, Y/N quickly typed in a message, hit send and put it away before walking towards Melissa who was busy answering calls.

“Hey, mom,” she said, stepping right into her eyeshot. The nurse looked up and smiled.

“Y/N, what are you doing here?” she asked warmly before getting up and making her way around the front desk.

“I hurt my wrist wrestling with Stiles- long story, and I can’t move it much without it being really painful. Could you take a look at it?” she asked, praying she would say yes.

“Well, I’m not really supposed to do consultations for patients without an actual doctor present,” Melissa said, wincing a little and Y/N’s heart sank. “Let’s go.”

She beamed and kissed her mom on the cheek before following her into a patient room a few feet away, looking over her shoulder and winking.

“Okay, let’s do this,” said Stiles as he got her signal, motioning at Scott to go ahead. They both walked slowly in the direction of the front desk and Stiles turned to a certain door. He nodded.

“Good luck, I guess,” he said as Scott pushed the door open and slipped inside, the letters MORGUE written in bold white just a few centimeters away from an arrow pointing in the direction of where he had just gone.

Scott walked into an empty corridor and kept walking until he reached the morgue, a sign on the door signaling that this was where he needed to be. The teenager went inside and started opening the different metal doors, desperately trying to find what he was looking for and scared out of his mind. His heart thumped harshly against his ribcage and he couldn’t help but start hyperventilating when he slid a tray out. On it lay a body covered with a white cloth. Well, technically, half a body.

“Oh god, Y/N, why?” he asked under his breath as he grimaced and flipped the corners of the cloth off the cadaver. A strong scent of blood and slowly rotting flesh filled his nostrils as his eyes landed on the dirty and cold feet of the victim. He could barely stand the smell, it was just too strong and too foul, almost beastly. It was disgusting but Scott concentrated and his eyebrows raised when he recognized it.

Not even bothering to cover the bottom half of the body up again, he slid the tray back in, shut the metal door and ran out of the room, the terrifying image and the gruesome scent following him. When he got to the waiting room, his eyes fell on Stiles, seemingly busy reading what appeared to be a pamphlet on menstruation and he went to tell him he was done.

“Holy god!” exclaimed Stiles when Scott grabbed the pamphlet from his clampy hands.

“The scent was the same.”

“You sure?” asked Stiles as he got up.

“Yes.”

“So he did bury the other half of the body on his property.”

“Which means we have proof he killed the girl,” Scott said, nodding his head.

“Okay we have to text Y/N, let her know the coast is clear. Let’s go.”

Y/N’s phone emitted a ding and she suddenly shot up as her mom felt her arm and wrist.

“You know what, mom, it’s getting better. Besides you have a lot of work to do so I’m just gonna go.” Melissa looked at her and frowned, wondering why she was in such a sudden rush to leave.

“Okay, well, there doesn’t seem to be anything wrong. If you’re still feeling sore, put some ice on it and it should get better from there.”

“Great, thank you, I love you!” said Y/N hurriedly before pulling the door open and rushing out of the patient room, leaving her mom alone and puzzled.

“Huh.”

“So, was it the same?”

“Yeah, exactly that.”

“So, the body’s what you were smelling! That’s good news, great even. We can finally get rid of him and get that girl justice,” said Y/N, grinning widely.

“Okay so what do we now?” Scott asked.

“We’re going to Derek’s,” answered Stiles, determined. Y/N nodded.

“We’re gonna need shovels,” she added and Stiles clicked his tongue in agreement. It made her quite happy to know that they were on the same page practically all the time, they rarely disagreed over important things and that gave her a sense of partnership and teamwork she simple loved.

11:56, Hale House, Woods

Derek’s black car gleamed in the moonlight as it drove away from the clearing where the Hale house stood. After a few minutes, a baby blue jeep took its previous spot and the ignition was turned off. The three teenagers left the car, slamming the doors shut behind them and they started to walk towards the house.

“It was around here somewhere when I came earlier,” Scott said, gesturing at a spot a few feet away from the left side of the house.

“I low-key can’t believe we’re about to dig out a human body,” said Y/N as she grabbed a shovel from her brother’s hand and he nodded with a hum.

“It’s weird though, something feels different,” he said, contemplating the ground.

“Different how?” asked Stiles, stopping his first dig mid-movement.

“I don’t know.” Scott walked closer towards the spot he had pointed at minutes earlier and pushed his shovel in the humid ground. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“Agreed. I am not spending one minute more than necessary here. Fucking creeps me out,” Y/N said, shuddering as she started digging on Scott’s right.

The three dug for a while, time slow and taunting as their arms felt heavier and their muscles ached. They didn’t speak during that time, the only sounds besides the incessant scraping of the shovels in the dirt were their grunts and groans as they kept going. No one talked until finally, Scott paused to wipe his brow and spoke.

“This is taking too long,” he said.

“Just keep going.”

“What if he comes back?” asked Y/N, stopping to properly look over at Stiles who was still going at it.

“Then we get the hell out of here,” Stiles answered.

“What if he catches us?” Scott questioned, his brows furrowed in confusion and anxiety.

Stiles shrugged and looked ahead but kept going, digging his shovel in the ground as deep as possible.

“I have a plan for that.”

“Which is?”

He grunted and waved his shovel in the air, almost banging Y/N on the forehead with the metal object.

“You run one way, I’ll run the other, so does Y/N. Whoever he catches first, too bad,” he said, shrugging before starting to dig again.

“I hate that plan,” whined Scott.

Y/N nodded with a neutral expression on her face after having given the so called “plan” a thought.

“Actually, I second it.”

“You seriously think you could outrun Derek?” inquired her brother with a smirk as Stiles scoffed.

“I don’t have to outrun Derek, I just have to outrun one of you.”

“Touché.”

The three of them chuckled before Y/N spoke again.

“This is really starting to bore the crap out o-”

“-alright stop, stop, stop!” exclaimed Stiles when he felt the edge of his shovel touch something a little harder than the humid soil beneath their feet. Y/N’s breath hitched as both the boys let go of their shovels and bent down to start digging with their hands.

Their dirty fingers unraveled some string and they both looked at each other, puzzled.

“Okay just get whatever that is above ground, guys, he’ll be back any minute now,” Y/N whispered, her heart beating faster and faster by the minute.

Sure, they had done some pretty cool and forbidden stuff before like when they hung out in the principal’s office when Scott and Stiles were in the 7thgrade at night or like that one time when they had hidden in the storage room of a comic book store downtown for hours before the manager had found them. Those times had definitely made their pulses raise, but they were nothing like what the teenagers were experiencing right then. This was some other level.

“I’m trying. Did he have to tie this thing in like, 900 knots?” said Stiles, hissing lightly as his long fingers desperately tried to untie the string.

“I’ll do it.” Scott knelt further down to help him and sure enough, together, they managed. Opening up the package by pulling off the dirty material, their eyes fell upon a dead black dog.

Scratch that, it was too big to be a dog.

“Oh my god!” yelled out Scott, jumping backwards and landing on his backside, groaning at the impact with the ground.

Y/N shrieked and looked away, covering her mouth and moving her legs in a squeamish fashion as though she were urgently in need of going to the bathroom. Stiles meanwhile gagged and fell back alongside his best friend all the while cursing.

“What the hell is that?” he exclaimed, gesturing towards the disgusting and morbid thingin the hole they had just dug up.

“It’s a wolf,” said Scott, staring at the dead animal with disgust yet curiosity.

“Yeah I can see that!”

“Cover it up, please, please cover it back up Scott!” Y/N whined, trying her best not to throw up due to the vile smell.

Scott shook his head just as he was about to tell her they had to inspect it but Stiles cut him off before he could even utter her name.

“I thought you said you smelled blood? As in human blood?” said Stiles, annoyed and confused all at once.

Y/N was completely bewildered by what they had just discovered. Why had Derek buried a wolf? Was it a werewolf? If so, had he been a member of the pack? Was it a she? Thousands of questions swam around her head and she almost felt woozy as she tried to focus on one.

“I told you something was different.”

“This doesn’t make sense,” said Stiles as he closed his eyes.

“We gotta get out of here.”

“No! We can’t!” Y/N exclaimed, ignoring the rotten stench coming from the hole.

“Why not?” asked Scott.

“Because! You’re not telling me you’re not even a little curious as to why this is here?”

“No, honestly Blue, we have to go, like, now.Scott, help me cover this up.”

Y/N groaned as she shook her head, rolling her eyes before turning and gasping a little. Her gaze had rested on a flower, partially hidden in the earth, the deep purple petals barely visible through the humid soil.

“What is it?” inquired Scott as she started to walk away from them and towards the curious flora, almost hypnotized by its beauty. “Y/N?”

Y/N ignored him and bringing two fingers down to the stem of the flower, she tugged lightly. Only the flower didn’t detach itself from its roots. Instead, they left their earthy cage with it.

A long line of string followed and Y/N, perplexed, looked over at the teenage boys who were staring at the plant in her hand.

“What the-?”

“-Y/N, don’t touch that!”

“Ugh, it’s fine. I haven’t turned to a big pool of green slime okay? Give the dad talk a rest.”

Stiles raised an eyebrow and she brushed it off, instead inspecting the flower. It really was mesmerizing. Tiny little light green leaves stuck out the side of it and it offered contrast with the purple color of the flower itself.

“What is so special about this flower?” Y/N asked herself. She felt drawn to it, but as to why? She had no clue.

“Not to interrupt your newfound passion for herbology but we really should go. If Derek finds us here, we’re dog food.”

Scott slapped Stiles’ chest with the back of his hand and glared at him.

“Well what? Dog food is more fitting than toast in this case.”

The glare didn’t cease and Y/N snorted, looking away from them only to start inspecting the string attached to the plant in her hands.

“Agree to disagree.”

“Hey guys?”

“What?”

Y/N slowly backed away from the place she had found the flower all the while staring at the tiny hole in the soil and treaded lightly. Their eyes widened as more and more string left the confines of the earth, leaving a concave trace on the ground but Y/N didn’t stop. Her heart thumped in her chest and she kept going, walking behind Scott and Stiles then making a whole turn around them. And another, and another, and another one after that. Finally, the string came to an end and Y/N looked up, confused. She squinted her eyes at the traces left beneath her feet when Scott spoke up.

“Look,” he said, simply, staring at the grave they had just dug up.

Both Stiles and Y/N rushed over and what their eyes landed on sent a chill down their spines in a matter of seconds, Y/N’s veins turning to ice.

The animal they had found was no longer a wolf, it was a woman. Her top half to be exact.

“Oh shit!” screamed Y/N. “Okay that’s it! We’re out of here.”

“We have to cover it up,” murmured Stiles, his stare not leaving the corpse’s void-filled eyes.

“Yeah, let’s do that, but we have to move fast. Y/N, pass me the shovel!”

She did as she was told and hurried as she grabbed her own, immediately getting to it.

“D’you know what this means?”

“We’ve got him by the tail,” answered Stiles.

“Dude!”

Saturday, 4 pm, McCall House

Soft music played through the small orange speaker on Y/N’s dresser as she absentmindedly tapped the end of her pencil on her desk, her tired eyes staring into an abyss while she tugged at her bottom lip with her fingers.

Her empty thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of her phone ringing. Stiles’ name flashed on the screen as the Star Wars bar theme played and she frowned, picking it up swiftly and bringing it up to her ear to answer the call. “Stiles?”

“I lost Scott.”

“You what?”she exclaimed, jumping out of her seat, her whole body tensing.

“It’s not a big deal! But yes, I- uh- lost him…”

“I can’t believe you Stiles. Remind me never to leave you alone with my future kids.”

“Hey, I will have you know that Mrs. Terry was very satisfied with my babysitting ski-“

“-yeah yeah, where are you right now?”

“Woods.”

“Okay, where did you lose him?”

“Woods.”

“Details, Stiles!”

“I had the string with the purple flowers in my bag when we left Derek’s after my dad arrested him and Scott said he couldn’t breathe so I ran out and threw the bag away and I turned around and he was gone! Poof!”explained Stiles, breathlessly.

“Poof?”she repeated, seething with anger.

“Poof?”

“I’m gonna kill you Stiles.”

“Look, I’m gonna call him right now, okay? Just try calling the Sheriff’s department, they don’t take me as seriously as they used to.”

“When did they ever?”she said before hanging up and dialing 911.

“Sheriff’s station, what’s your emergency?”

“Maggie! Hey! It’s Y/N, McCall?”

“Did you Stiles put you up to this?”

“No! What? Just- it’s Scott, we can’t find him-,”

“The Sheriff’s department’s got too much on its plate to worry about your game of hide and seek Y/N, have a good day.”

“No! Wai-“ Y/N shrieked but it was too late, the deputy had hung up.

“Good thing I wasn’t calling about a killer in my house,” she grumbled as she slipped into a dark blue pair of jeans and a grey tank top. She grabbed her maroon sweatshirt and her phone before hurrying out the door. She had to find her brother, before it was too late.

6:55 pm, Beacon Hills High School

Y/N’s muscles ached as she sped on her bike, riding as fast as possible in the direction of the high school, the last place Scott could be at. She had ridden all around the town, scraping her knees and burning thousands of calories as she called out her brother’s name, desperately trying to find him. She had been to Stiles’ house, she had gone to Deaton’s, Scott’s boss. She had called her mom to check if Scott was over at the hospital with her, she had been to the comic book store all the way across town. She had literally ridden every square inch of Beacon Hills but the school and she was sweaty, angry and exhausted.

Grumbling profanities and wiping at her brow, Y/N pulled into the parking lot of her school, shivering slightly due to the cool night air and she set down her bicycle, wasting no time to rush over to the lacrosse field.

“I swear you better be here, Scott,” she mumbled.

Sure enough, Stiles and Scott were there, standing next to their coach as he yelled out their strategy, making some of the players on the team groan and whine.

Y/N didn’t even stop to think but instead rushed over to them and pushed Stiles aside.

“What the hell Stiles?”

“Hey Y/N! Oh my god! I’m so sorry, we just completely forg-“

“-you sent me on a wild goose hunt and didn’t even bother to call me to tell me you had found him! What the hell is your problem?”

“I’m sorry, Blue.”

“You’re sorry? Not good enough. My legs are sore and I am this close to crying from pure exhaustion Stiles.”

“Y/N-“

“-I’m not done talking! I swear to God, if your team doesn’t win the game tonight, I will make it my personal mission to stuff your lacrosse jersey down your throat and do the same thing to Scott.”

“Are you done now?”

“Yes,” she huffed, crossing her arms and exhaling as her shoulders untensed.

“And that is how you motivate a bunch of horny imbecile teenagers! Give it up for- I’m sorry, what’s your name, sweetheart?”

Y/N whirled around only to realize the entire team was staring at her, each and every one of the players utterly shocked and confused as to why she was on the field in the first place.

“Y/N,” she answered, her cheeks reddening immediately. “Good talk,” she added before walking away with clenched fists, a bottomless pit forming in her stomach.

“Oh god,” she muttered under her breath as she walked over to the bleachers and walked a little further up, seating herself right next to a tall and very pretty brunette.

“Do you know him?” asked the gorgeous girl, turning to her.

“I’m sorry?”

“Do you know that guy? Over there? Number eleven?””

“Oh yeah, he’s my brother,” answered Y/N, coolly.

“You’re Y/N?” she asked, a beam painted across her face, making her rosy cheeks wrinkle a bit.

“Uh yeah, and you’re Allison?”

“Scott told you about me?”

“Something like that,” she said, smiling sheepishly. The fact was, ever since the truth had come out over Scott’s new powers, he hadn’t shut up about his new girlfriend, Allison. Both Stiles and Y/N had been shocked and intrigued by the news, wondering how in God’s name Scott had managed to score a date with her in the first place, much to his dismay.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” said Allison, extending her hand, timidly.

“Nice to meet you, Allison,” said Y/N, smiling a little wider this time as she shook it.

Scott’s new girlfriend was extremely warm, her friendliness immensely agreeable. Y/N couldn’t help but want to strike up a conversation but she stopped herself from saying anything, too afraid of scaring her away.

Y/N searched for some familiar faces and found her mother who was waving at Scott with a huge smile on her face. Of course she had come, it was his first big game. She sat on the first bench and set down her handbag. Y/N exhaled slowly. It was at that moment that a certain strawberry blonde seated next to Allison turned her head to her.

“It’s good that your brother chose to step up and play. I hope he makes this game worth our while.”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” Y/N muttered under her breath, looking over at the field. Jackson was talking to the coach and Stiles had just sat down in front of the field, obviously looking in the same direction as her. Scott was standing next to the other players on his team and staring back at her. She couldn’t really see his eyes but gripping the edge of the bench on which she was seated, she mouthed something to him.

‘You can do this’

Scott nodded and cracked his neck before placing himself in the right position. The ref blew the whistle. It was go-time.

The ball immediately filled the nets of the Beacon Hills players and for a while, everything seemed to be okay. But something was off. As the maroon players ran around the field, slowly approaching their opponents’ goal, Scott trailed up behind.

“What is he doing?” she asked herself.

Then suddenly, number 10 found himself surrounded by two whites and he cowered, the ball flying out of his net and onto the grass a few feet away due to the force of the opposing team’s defense. Scott whirled his head around, his wide eyes resting on the little white ball and he dove in, ready to catch it with his net. He ran but Jackson caught up with him and shoved him away, grabbing the ball and heading towards the ball.

“They’re keeping him from playing,” she muttered, her eyes fixated on the scene unfolding before the crowd.

Speaking of the crowd, an eruption of cheers echoed through the stands as Shitmore scored and a red digital 1 showed up on the scoreboard right under the letters HOME. Y/N shook her head and cursed under her breath.

“Asshole.”

Allison and Lydia both got up and held up a large banner with the words WE LUV U JACKSON as they whooped and Y/N rolled her eyes, focusing on the field. She tried to catch Scott’s eyes but he was staring at Jackson. Yep, he had probably seen the banner.

“This isn’t good…”

The team huddled up but the teenager stayed away, looking at them with anger seeping through his eyes. The whistle blew once, signaling the game was about to pick up again. Every player got into position, including Scott, and soon the ref blew his whistle again.

White and maroon jerseys ran towards the player with the ball in his net and he sprinted away aiming at his friend. Each person on the field was in motion, the cool breeze of the night blowing softly through their hair as they accelerated their swift movements, trying desperately to catch the ball with their long sticks. Groans and cheers, oohs and aahs and gasps escaped the mouths of the people in the stands and Y/N’s muscles tensed as she heard Allison talk to Lydia.

“I hope he’s okay,” the beautiful brunette said, looking over at Scott who was hunching his back.

“I hope we’re okay,” said Lydia and Y/N almost snapped.

Standing up yet again, Lydia held up another banner, Jackson’s name followed by a #1 drawn onto it with a sharpie. Y/N’s eyes widened and her head snapped in Scott’s direction. He was going to be furious.

Sure enough, the young werewolf had seen it and cracking his neck again, he straightened his back and stood in front of the white player, both at the ready to catch the ball. The shrill sound of the whistle blew and Scott blocked his opponent’s attempt at taking the ball, sending it flying into the night sky.

He moved in a matter of seconds and took a leap, jumping over another player and catching the ball in his net, taking a run for it. The crowd erupted in cheers and Allison gasped, clapping furiously and beaming.

Scott kept going, avoiding the visitors’ defense and pushing away his attackers, passing through a wall of players and shoving their shoulders with his own. Getting just close enough to score, he didn’t hesitate and motioned his net to the ground, throwing the ball right into the opponent’s goal.

The entire stands jumped up, screaming his jersey number, and applauding his swift moves on the field as the players on his team rushed to him to clap their hands on his back.

Y/N squealed and yelled out his name as her eyes widened in pleasant shock.

Maybe it was all going to be okay in the end.

Stiles was cheering as well along with the other benched players and the team’s coach started yelling out instructions to his players.

“Pass to McCall! Pass the ball to McCall! Hey, that rhymes.”

The game resumed and Scott was on fire. He passed more players and scored more points, running from one goal to the next, blowing everyone’s mind with his talent and athletic prowess. One opposing player even passed him the ball at one point, obviously terrified of him.

The end of the game was nearing, there were only a few seconds left on the clock. The stands were quiet for the first time in the whole duration of the game. Y/N exhaled, incredibly nervous. She glanced down at Stiles who was literally chewing on his gloves, his own eyes fixated on Scott.

The ball was sent to him and the teenager caught it with ease, making his way to the goal. But he stopped.

From afar, he seemed to be looking for a bee buzzing around him, his head turning and moving quickly and strangely. It was like he couldn’t situate himself.

“Scott,” murmured Y/N. “Scott, focus.”

His ears perked up and he looked over at the stands only to see his sister and Allison were both muttering words of encouragement in his favor. He breathed heavily and straightened his back before looking ahead. The goalie seemed terrified, gripping his stick with terror.

Scott raised his arms and sent the ball flying towards the net. Time stopped. Then, the whistle blew for the last time.

Everyone screamed and cheered, waving their maroon banners in the air and chanting “McCall!” over and over again.

“That’s my kid! That’s my son!” exclaimed Melissa, gasping for air as she raised her fists in the air and arched her back.

Stiles ran towards the field and jumped up and down, screaming his head off and everyone followed. The game had been won. Scott had scored for his team, they had won! All thanks to him.

Y/N could barely believe it as she ran down the steps of the bleachers and onto the field to join the cheerful crowd. She joined Stiles and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him in a tight hug as they both laughed and whooped.

“Oh my god! Scott?” called out Y/N, searching for her brother through the crowd.

“Scott?”

Stiles and Y/N looked around but no trace of the young werewolf could be seen. Turning to each other, their faces turning white as sheets, they both ran off in the direction of the woods, calling out his name over and over again.

Y/N’s heart was beating so fast, she could practically feel a dent in her skin above her ribs as she ran and yelled for him. Stiles grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the school, running as fast possible.

Rushing through the corridors, Stiles yanked Y/N into the boys locker room but pulled her back immediately.

“What are y-,” Y/N was about to ask when he cupped his hand over her mouth and pulled her a little further into the shadows of the dark room. Bringing a finger up to his mouth, he looked straight into her eyes and she shivered. They were pressed against each other, her body squeezed between her friend and the lockers. The moment was interrupted however when his gaze left her own and he peeked at the scene behind said lockers.

He let her go and straightened her tank top. She looked at him, puzzled.

That was when Allison walked towards them and blushed, her lips a little redder than they had been at the game and her hair untidy.

“Hey, Stiles, Y/N,” she said, smiling timidly as she passed them and left the room, the sound of her boots resonating in the hall as she left the perimeter.

Both Stiles and Y/N made their way around the lockers only to find Scott. He looked proud and a goofy smile was plastered on his face as he waved at them, sheepishly.

“Hey.”

Y/N shook her head and laughed, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Oh thank God,” she said.

“I kissed her.”

“We saw.” Stiles smiled all-knowingly at his best friend.

“She kissed me.”

“Saw that too.”

“It’s pretty good huh?”

Scott couldn’t stop grinning as Stiles patted him on the back and Y/N’s lips curled into a smile.

Scott’s eyes suddenly widened and he smiled even wider.

“I-I don’t know how, but I controlled it. I pulled it back! Maybe I can do this, maybe it’s not that bad!” he exclaimed.

“Uh, yeah, about that.”

“What, what is it?” asked Scott, his eyes turning to his sister.

“The, uh, medical examiner looked at the other half of the body we found,” explained Stiles, his face turning a little dark.

“And?”

“He determined that the victim’s killer was an animal, not a human…”

“Which means, what?”

“Derek is not an animal.”

“Yes?”

“Let me keep it simple, Scott. Derek not animal. Derek thus, not killer. Derek let out of jail,” said Y/N, exasperated.

“Are you kidding?” exclaimed Scott, fear flashing through his eyes.

“No, and here’s the bigger kick in the ass.”

“The victim was ID’d. Her name is Laura Hale.”

“Derek’s sister…”

Scott gasped and shook his head.

“This can’t be happening!”

The three of them stared at the floor when Y/N spoke up.

“But you kissed Allison!”

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[smut-camren]

Sweet Revenge

After a stressful week at school, G!P Lauren looks forward to having a much-needed good night's sleep. But due to her dorm neighbor having loud sex, Lauren ends up barely being able to sleep at all. When Camila comes to visit the next day, Lauren decides that she will have her revenge by doing the same thing: fucking Camila throughout the night.

After an exhausting week of rushing to meet the deadlines for schoolwork, Lauren was overjoyed when Friday night finally came. The sleep she so desperately needed was finally within her clutches, her bed already calling out to her and promising a well-deserved rest.

And tomorrow, Camila will be there to visit her.

With those thoughts in mind, Lauren smiled as she slipped underneath the covers, the tiredness slowly draining away from her weary bones.

She closed her eyes and sighed happily, silently thanking the heavens above for the existence of weekends.

But just as she was about to slip away into dreamland, a muffled shout jolted her back into a state of awareness. Grumbling, she tossed over to the other side and closed her eyes again, but stopped short when she felt something banging against her wall from the other side.

Another muffled noise, but more distinct this time. Followed by more rhythmic banging sounds and loud, exaggerated moans and groans.

Lauren saw red. Of all the times her dorm neighbor had to fuck around, it just had to be now, didn’t it? In her rage, she muttered angrily about hoping that the guy wouldn’t last more than a minute. And that he couldn’t get his little friend up again after one round.

It was common knowledge that the walls of the dorm weren’t thick enough to silence annoying sex noises, which was why whenever Camila visited, they only had sex in the morning or the afternoon. Not in the middle of the damn night when everyone was supposed to be sleeping.

Apparently, her neighbor didn’t have that kind of courtesy.

It went on for at least half an hour, and all Lauren could do was stare at the ceiling while she waited for the noises to stop.

And when they did, she heaved an irritated sigh and attempted to go to sleep again.

Only to be interrupted again just a few minutes later. Her neighbor was obnoxious as hell, or maybe Lauren was led to think that because she was pissed beyond words.  

But as she lay there, unable to sleep and exposed to hearing their stifled cries, she decided that they really were insufferable.

She wondered if she would be able to get any sleep like this.

No, Lauren barely got any sleep at all. So, when she clambered out of bed the next afternoon to open the door and invite Camila in, she was cranky and her hair was a mess from tossing and turning all night. It must have shown in her face, because Camila had a look of concern on her face when she caught wind of Lauren’s sour mood.

And Lauren was never in a bad mood when Camila came over to visit.

“Didn’t you get any sleep last night?” Camila asked worriedly, skimming the dark bags underneath Lauren’s eyes with the pad of her thumbs.

“I barely got any,” Lauren replied dryly.

“Why? What happened?”

“Why don’t you ask my neighbor? It sure sounded like she had a wild time last night.”

Camila dropped her hands and frowned, making Lauren feel guilty. She didn’t mean to sound so terse with Camila, but the lack of sleep had really gotten to her. She knew it shouldn’t be an excuse for her to behave that way, especially not with the person who tried the hardest to understand her and put up with her mood swings.

Lauren sat down on the couch and pulled Camila down to sit on her lap, curling her arm around the brunette’s waist to secure her in place. “I’m sorry, Camz. I didn’t mean to sound so short with you…” she said sincerely.

With a small nod, Camila wrapped her arms around Lauren’s neck and soothingly ran a hand across her tangled, black hair. Content and feeling a little better, Lauren hugged Camila closer and took deep breaths, willing herself to calm down.

“Tell you what, why don’t we lie down on your bed and you try to get some sleep now?” Camila suggested in a soft voice, having a lullaby-like effect on Lauren. “And I’ll just stay with you.”

Lauren protested, “Camz, there’s no need for that. I’ll just drink coffee and we can have a movie marathon or do whatever you want.”

“You need your sleep, Lauren,” Camila said firmly, leaving no room for further argument. Her hand snaked towards Lauren’s crotch, lightly rubbing at her crotch. “And besides, you can just make it up to me later��” she added with a smirk.

At Camila’s suggestive tone, Lauren’s penis twitched in her shorts. “Okay, sure,” she swallowed.

Camila winked and kissed the top of Lauren’s head, then rose from her lap. She reached out her right hand, which Lauren took, and led her to the bedroom.

There, Camila sat down on the mattress, her back propped up against the headboard. Lauren climbed in and lied down, resting her head on Camila’s lap. Quietly, Camila sang a lullaby, until Lauren’s eyes started to droop and she slowly fell asleep.

It was already nighttime when Lauren woke up, and she felt significantly refreshed and no longer crabby. Her head was no longer on Camila’s lap, but the brunette was still on the bed, reading one of Lauren’s books. She was out of her casual clothes and now wore one of Lauren’s shirts and boxers, showing off her shapely legs.

Lauren suddenly remembered what Camila said about making it up to her when she woke up.

“Did you have a good sleep?” Camila asked, bringing Lauren out of her thoughts.

“Yeah, it was a good rest. Have you eaten dinner yet?” Lauren asked.

“No, I haven’t yet. I was waiting for you to wake up so we could eat together.”

“You didn’t have to do that, but thanks, baby,” Lauren said gratefully and pulled Camila in for a kiss, a smile curling at her lips as her girlfriend returned it with equal passion.

Giggling, Camila patted her on the cheek, and Lauren reluctantly broke away. “Okay, so how does pizza sound?”

“Pizza? Sounds perfect.”

Camila nodded and grabbed her phone, and Lauren fixed herself while waiting for her to finish placing their order. Once that was done, Lauren settled herself between Camila’s legs and kissed her softly. Circling her arms around Lauren’s neck, Camila deepened the kiss, the passion growing stronger with each push and tug of their lips.

Their tongues soon came out to play, and Camila moaned into Lauren’s mouth as they started to make out. Lauren wrapped Camila’s legs around her waist, making rocking motions with her hips as their tongues slid together in a resounding wet kiss.

She hadn’t thought much about sex with all the stress she had to deal with, but right now, with Camila seductively touching her biceps and her cock rising to erection, Lauren realized just how much she wanted – no, needed it.

There should be just about enough time for her to eat Camila out for pre-dinner before the delivery boy arrived.

Crawling down Camila’s body, Lauren sucked on every inch of exposed bronze skin she could find, until her head was settled between Camila’s legs. With a wink, Lauren pulled off the boxers Camila borrowed, exposing her glistening, pink folds to Lauren’s eyes.

Camila’s breathing became shallow, as Lauren pried her legs open and planted a kiss on her outer lips. Lauren nosed through Camila’s folds, giving her pussy kittenish licks and tiny nips. Above her, Camila trembled, watching Lauren with hooded eyes. Her breath hitched with every flick of Lauren’s tongue, shuddering in anticipation as it swept over her clit.

Like always, Camila tasted fucking delicious, and it made Lauren eager to devour her. And devour she did.

Being hard-pressed for time, Lauren skipped the teasing part and lapped broadly at Camila’s blushing folds, circling her clit before going back to her slit. She moved her tongue clockwise, then back and forth, not missing a single inch of Camila’s dripping pussy.

Fuck, the sounds Camila were making was enough to drive anyone mad. Camila moaned and mewled, her hips lifting off the bed to push her cunt against Lauren’s face.

“Yes! Lick me, Lauren,” Camila let out a choked gasp, her legs quivering slightly.

Lauren grinned, buried her face deeper, and worked faster. The wet sounds of her lips and tongue meeting Camila’s slick folds resounded in her ears, only barely louder than the keening sounds that came from Camila.

On instinct, Camila yanked Lauren’s hair and ground her hips more fervently, humping Lauren’s mouth in her search for more. Lauren, who was only too willing to give it to her, slid her tongue inside Camila’s contracting entrance.

“Oh!” Camila squealed in delight, as Lauren worked her tongue in and out of her leaking pussy.

Her nose bumped against Camila’s clit and Lauren sped up her pace, until Camila was humping her face desperately – a sign that she was close to coming. After two years of being in a relationship with Camila – and the constant sex they had over the course of that time – Lauren knew more than enough as to what Camila wanted and needed in bed, and of course, how long it took for her to orgasm.

Lauren mentally counted down in her head, and just as she thought, zero, Camila shrieked and squirted cum all over her mouth and chin, her body curving into a tight bow. Still, Lauren continued to lick her until she crashed back down on the bed, a giggling mess as Lauren lapped up the wet mess she made.

Camila pulled her up and licked her cum off of Lauren’s chin, a naughty smirk twisting at her lips as she finished.  

Lauren was about to do a lot more than just eating Camila out, when a few sharp knocks on the door rang out. An annoyed look crossed her features, but Camila quickly kissed it away. The last thing they needed was to scare off the poor delivery boy who was only doing his job.

“Can you answer that, baby? I’d do it myself, but my legs are still shaking from how good you ate me out,” Camila said sweetly, and this brightened Lauren up.

“Sure, baby. Do you want me to bring the pizza in here?” Lauren asked. Camila nodded in affirmation, her breathing still ragged.

Leaving Camila to recover on the bed, Lauren grabbed her wallet from her desk and made her way towards the front door. She paid the delivery boy and said her thanks, then brought the box of pizza to her bedroom. Camila was still naked at the bottom half of her body, her legs opened only slightly.

Looking closely, Lauren could see a clear trickle of come dripping from Camila’s cunt, her thighs slick with come.

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Lauren,” Camila teased, yet she didn’t close her legs.

Lauren ignored the dull throbbing in her shorts and slid in beside Camila. After they finished eating all the pizza, Camila closed the box and set it aside. Then, they both lied down, Camila on her back against the sheets with Lauren hovering over her.

Smiling suggestively, Camila spread her legs as far as they could go, allowing Lauren to settle comfortably between them. Until now, Lauren couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that for someone short, Camila had been blessed with legs that went on for miles.

Not that she was complaining, because she loved it when Camila’s legs were locked around her hips or waist whenever they had hot, hot sex. And the way her heels dug into her back… Lauren couldn’t suppress the shivers that shot up her spine at the thought.

“So, you mentioned that your neighbor had a pretty wild time last night…” Camila purred, slowly lifting her shirt to reveal the flat plane of her stomach, the swells of her luscious breasts.

Lauren’s mouth watered at the sight.

“Yeah, I did,” she gulped, unable to tear her eyes from Camila’s chest.

“And you want revenge, don’t you?”

Lauren could only nod, as Camila took of her shirt and flung it across the room, revealing her perky tits, her dusky nipples set on top of the soft mounds.

“I was thinking…” Camila trailed off, gripping the hem of Lauren’s shirt. With excruciating slowness, she pulled it up, all the while talking as she did so. “What better way to get revenge than by us having really, really fantastic sex?”

Her shirt landed on the floor, and Camila worked on her shorts and boxers next.

“You’ll pound me on this bed, and my naughty pussy will take your cock so well, Lauren,” Camila husked in her ear, the words making Lauren feel hot all over. “You’ll fuck me so hard I’ll be screaming and screaming and screaming, begging for more, begging for you to give it to me harder.”

Camila tugged Lauren’s boxers down harshly in emphasis, her rigid pole springing out as it was freed, slapping against her lower belly. Lauren couldn’t think straight with Camila talking filthy like in her ear, her voice dripping pure sex and filled with so much lust.

God, she wanted that so much. Lauren wanted to bang Camila so hard, wanted her revenge on her insensitive neighbor. She would be killing two birds with one stone.

“We’ll have so much sex, she won’t be able to sleep because of the ruckus we’re going to make. And she can’t complain, because she deprived you of that leisure last night,” Camila sneered, igniting Lauren’s desire for vengeance even more.

Camila fucking knew the right words to say to get her riled up.

Before Camila could say any more, Lauren crashed their lips together and kissed her roughly. Camila didn’t act surprised, as though she was expecting Lauren to react this way. She kissed Lauren back, a mess of tongue and teeth, their mouths colliding with fierce intensity.

Lauren was glad they were already naked, because she didn’t want to break away from the intense make-out session. Camila clutched Lauren’s shoulders, her moans and groans muffled by the blonde’s lips molding forcefully against hers.

They didn’t need slow, both of them craving something rough and fast.

Lauren positioned the tip of her cock at Camila’s entrance, an appreciative moan spilling from her lips at how soaked she was. She rammed herself all the way in, swift and hard, and Camila screamed out of sheer ecstasy. At the same time, Lauren cried out in pleasure at the way Camila’s slippery pussy sucked her in.

She pounded into Camila, rough and fast, her cock plunging in and out of her hot, dripping pussy at a rapid pace. Camila was lost in her own world, crying out continually at the sensation of Lauren’s shaft stretching her wide open.

The headboard slammed against the wall, and Lauren smirked at the thought of her neighbor wide awake and listening to them having sex. What made it even better was that Camila was a natural screamer in bed.

“Take me, Lauren! Yes, just like that!” Camila urged her, clenching her muscles tight around Lauren. “God, you feel so good inside me!”

“Fuck. Your pussy feels so good, Camz. Sucking my cock in like that,” Lauren panted, her hips pushing forward, fucking Camila as deeply as she could.

“Oh, yes! Oh, yes! Give it to me, baby!” Camila sobbed. She pushed back with each thrust, legs locking around Lauren’s waist, inviting her deeper.

Her pussy felt like silken heaven to Lauren, embracing her stiff cock within its heat. Clenching, relaxing, and then tightening again around her. The contractions of Camila’s cunt muscles drove Lauren insane, her cock pulsing and hardening further, eager to pump the dripping pussy below her with her hot seed.

Camila seemed to notice this, as she hugged Lauren closer to her and squeezed her walls with all her might. Unable to hold herself back any longer, Lauren shuddered and groaned Camila’s name as she came, pulsing out thick ropes of her semen deep inside her pussy. Her hips twitched, more so when Camila came, leaking out cum from her hole.

She was still horny and rearing to go, and so was Camila. One round wasn’t enough for them when they were really in the mood for a nice, long fucking.

Lauren rolled over on her back, her cock teetering between her legs and shining with Camila’s juices. Straddling her thighs Camila spread her legs, giving Lauren the view of her semen oozing out of her cunt.  

“Well, damn,” Lauren mumbled, and Camila giggled and lowered her dripping pussy down on her raging prick.

“Get ready for the ride of your night,” Camila winked.

Without saying anything else, Camila rose from Lauren’s lap and slammed her hips down, a sharp scream spilling from her plump lips. Lauren licked her lips, drinking in the view of Camila riding her cock, sweat dripping down her neck and chest from the effort.

And fuck, it was hot watching Camila bounce up and down on her dick, her hair and her tits bouncing up and down. Lauren reached out and palmed Camila’s breasts, tweaking her nipples and rolling them around using her thumb and index finger.

“Fuck, yeah! Ride my cock, Camz!” Lauren panted, content with Camila doing all the work.

“You like that, baby? My pussy bouncing up and down on your big cock?” Camila teased, her hips moving in dizzying circles as she ground down on Lauren’s pelvis.

Grinning, Lauren smacked Camila’s ass. “You bet I do. It's hard not to love that sweet, tight pussy of yours. Rub your clit for me, baby.”

Camila did as she was told, working her clit with her fingers, pushing herself down on Lauren’s thick shaft. Lauren focused on Camila’s pussy lips being split apart to accommodate her thickness, on the wet slapping of skin on skin.

It didn’t take long before Camila was coming around her again, letting out a sharp cry as she trembled from the force of her orgasm. Gritting her teeth, Lauren planted her feet on the bed and pounded up into Camila, until her cock pumped out jizz for the second time.

Camila slumped forward and clenched her muscles, draining out the rest of Lauren’s warm semen.    

“Mmm, I love it when you pump me full of your come,” Camila sighed, curling up into Lauren.

Smiling in satisfaction, Lauren held Camila, her cock beginning to soften inside the brunette’s cunt. Just as they had settled into a comfortable position for cuddling, Lauren vaguely heard someone knocking on the door.

She arched an eyebrow and carefully disentangled herself from Camila, who was smiling lazily and leisurely stroking her cum-filled pussy.

She picked up her shirt and boxers from the floor and put them on, then made her way outside of the bedroom. When she opened the door, she saw that her neighbor was outside, her fiery red hair disheveled, and annoyed expression on her face.

Lauren suppressed a smirk. “Yes?”

“Are you done banging your girlfriend? Because I need to sleep.”

“Huh. Funny isn’t it? Because I don’t remember knocking on your door last night to tell you and your little boyfriend to stop fucking around,” Lauren said coolly, laughing inside when her neighbor flushed a scarlet red. “But hey, I guess we’re pretty much even now. I was barely able to sleep last night, either.”

And with that, Lauren shut the door in her face with a smug smile. She shuffled back to her bedroom, finding Camila in the same position she left her in.

“That was your neighbor, wasn’t it?” Camila asked, watching Lauren take off her clothes.

“Yup, and she actually had the guts to complain about us being loud,” Lauren said with a laugh, and climbed in beside Camila.

Camila smirked, leading Lauren’s hand between her legs. “Do you want to piss her off even more?”

“You bet I do,” Lauren nodded. “And why don’t I suck my come out of your pussy while I recover?”

Camila smiled naughtily and lay flat on her back, spreading her legs wide open. Lauren groaned at the sight of her thick, white come, steadily trickling out of Camila’s swollen, reddened pussy.

Without giving it a second thought, Lauren buried her face in between Camila’s legs and happily slurped out her thick, white come, grinning at the filthy sucking noises she made.

And as Camila squealed and cried out with each broad stroke of her tongue, Lauren could only think, sweet, sweet revenge.

[imaginekpoplikethis]

7 years - BadBoy! Jeon Jungkook X Reader - Part 9

Early (but not early since it's 11pm here) updateeee. I honestly feel like I can't go two parts without making something bad happen.

Shall I stop the drama or shall I continue with it??? I don't really know, so I need you guys to let me know your thoughts on it.

Thanks for reading. Love you guys!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9 - Here  Part 10.1  Part 10.2  Part 10.3  Part 11  Part 12  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16 Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20 - Final

You would like to say you survived through all the screaming from your family and best friend but to be totally honest it felt like you had been dragged through hell and back. You were sure that one of your ears had been damaged in the process.

Your mother seemed to be ecstatic with the news that you were dating Jungkook. Her 18 year-old daughter had finally managed to get her first boyfriend and it just so happened to be the one boy she adored as if he were her own son.

She made it sound like you were completely hopeless when it came to relationships.

When you had video called Areum and filled her in on what had happened, she smirked, which was something that shocked you to great lengths. Then she demanded you give her Shinee's new album and that was when it clicked in your head. You had made a bet, hadn't you? Who would have thought you would actually lose? Apparently Areum had.

You had to reassure her that you would definitely hold up your side of the deal and she begun cheering, jumping up and down. When she had finished celebrating, she begun to congratulate you which, in all honesty, kind of embarrassed you. She was making it out like it was some kind of life changing event. When you voiced your thoughts, she claimed it was and gushed over the next step of your relationship.

"It's been less than two hours, Areum."

Blinking, she closed in on the camera, staring straight at you. It made you mildly uncomfortable.

"Two hours is a long time! Soon it will be four and then eight and before you know it, you'll be married and have kids."

How she got from eight hours to marriage is beyond you.

"Are you psychic or something? What do you mean marriage? You actually think we'll last that long?"

Energetically nodding her head, she swung around on her seat before laying her eyes on you again.

"If I'm being honest, I don't think you guys will ever have a major fight now that your together. You've just known each other too long so you understand the intentions behind each others actions. Even if you hurt each other, which is highly unlikely, there will always be a valid reason behind it."

"Do you analyse your schoolwork like you do with my relationship? That could pass as an essay."

Areum chuckled and you thought over what she had said. You understood what she was getting at. You would never intentionally hurt Jungkook, not because he was now your boyfriend but because you didn't want to lose his trust and friendship. If you ever came to a point where you broke up, you would want to be able to continue being close friends.

Why were you already thinking about breakups?

"Anyway, Y/N. I need to finish the maths homework. I'll see you in school tomorrow. Bye!"

She waved at the camera before ending the call, leaving you staring at the screen in thought.

Despite what Areum had said, you still felt that it was possible you would end up hitting a bump in your relationship. The thought made your stomach turn.

It would probably be better to avoid thinking about topics like that.

-

Heading to school the next day, you weren't as excited as you thought you would be. Possibly because you had spent so long freaking out last night. You were drained, having got no sleep. Not even ten minutes.

Upon arriving at the schools entrance, you felt a couple of eyes on you. People were still feeding off of your fight with Hye Mi apparently. Trudging to your classroom, you slid the door open to find Jungkook asleep on his desk and three girls from your class sitting around him. Upon closer inspection, you realised they were admiring your boyfriend.

Too tired to actually care, you slumped into your seat. It wasn't causing you any harm due to the fact that nothing was even happening. You didn't want to have relationship problems on your official first day of dating. Instead you focused your attention on your unopened messages. You hadn't gotten a chance to check them as you were dedicating your morning to trying to keep awake long enough to leave the house.

Areum had messaged you asking if you had remembered to bring your homework, to which you replied a quick 'yep, thanks Areum.' Your next message happened to be from none other than the idiot currently sleeping on the other side of the class.

'Hey, Princess. Make sure to come to school early.'

So much for that. Glancing in his direction, you took in his dozing, slumped figure. You should probably wake him up.

Dialling his number, you watched as he shot up in his seat and whipped his head from side to side in confusion. When he realised his phone was ringing, he all but wrenched it out of his pocket, answering the call without checking the caller ID.

"Hello?" He croaked his greeting through the phone, taking notice of the dumbfounded girls seated around him. Sending them a slightly dirty look, they hopped up and shuffled away, embarrassed to be caught staring.

"Rise and shine, Jeon." Hearing your voice coming from within his phone and the other side of the classroom, you were pleasantly surprised to witness a grin spread on his face at the realisation.

Hanging up on you, he scraped his chair back and stuffed his hands in his pockets, strolling to your desk whilst emitting a cool aura. Taking his usual seat in front of you, Jungkook draped his arms on the backrest of his chair and then laid his head upon them. Gazing up at you from between his eyelashes, he presents you with a faint but handsome smile.

"I can't believe you fell asleep after ordering me to come to school early. That's impolite."

A boyish laugh escaped him and the corners of his eyes crinkled the tiniest bit, taking on a more crescent shape. He reached his hand out towards your hair, grabbing a lock of hair and twisting it between his fingers.

"You're pretty when you're annoyed..."

Huffing, you let your eyes fall to the side, avoiding making eye contact with him.

"Are you implying that I'm not usually pretty? Wow, I am so lucky to date you." You tried to suppress the grin that was threatening to make itself present but Jungkook still noticed.

"My princess is always pretty." You pushed his face to the side and stuck your tongue out, scrunching your face up in mild disgust. Jungkook merely chuckled at your reaction, his plan to make you flustered succeeding.

"Major cringe alert. Please refrain from saying things like that. At least in public." A sly smirk replaced his grin and he wiggled his eyebrows.

"So you wouldn't mind if we were alone? Noted. I'll save it all for when we're alone." What kind of nonsense is he spouting now? Grabbing his ear, you gave it a quick tug which caused him to release your hair and place his hands on yours. He winced in slight pain but his smirk never left his face.

"Pervert. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours." Releasing his ear from your grip, you rested your head on the palm of your hand and stared right back at him. His bunny-like grin grew and a delicate smile spread on your lips. You hadn't taken notice of the students who filed into class until your teacher had arrived, calling everyone to their seats.

Jungkook reluctantly stood from the seat in front you and returned it to the slightly annoyed and intimidated student who lingered beside the desk. Ignoring said student, he placed his hand on your head affectionately and bent down, pecking your lips. A wave of loud whispers emerged from the rest of the class and you hung your head, letting your hair partially cover your now reddening face.

Jungkook seemed to be having a hard time fighting the blush that was slowly spreading over his cheeks.

-

By the time lunch had come around, you were sure everyone had heard the news of your relationship. Obviously, this irked you as it was your private buisness. You supposed it was unavoidable. Jungkook was the schools most difficult and intimidating student whilst you were one of the best students. Of course news like this would spread like a forest fire amongst teenagers. This information didn't stop you from feeling self-conscious. You had almost adjusted to the few stares you used to receive but having everyone's eyes on you whilst you were trying to eat your lunch was another story.

Areum seemed to notice that you were on edge as she tapped you on the arm. Looking up at you with concern filled eyes, she offered you a worried smile.

"Y/N? Are you uncomfortable?" That seemed to gain Jungkook's attention as he immediately stopped his conversation with Seokjin and studied you. His face remained blank but the worry he held in his eyes was evident.

"I'm fine. I just... don't really like all the unnecessary staring." You stabbed your fork into a piece of meat, a light sigh leaving your lips. Jungkook's eyebrows creased and his head shot up to the many students staring with no shame. Sending death stares in every direction, he clenched his jaw and balled his fists. This didn't go unnoticed by the nosy students and they each turned back to their food, terrified at the holes Jungkook was burning into the back of their heads.

When he was satisfied with the outcome of his actions, he switched his focus back onto you and flicked your forehead. You flinched and placed a hand on your head, peering up at him.

"Don't let these pieces of shit get to you."

Taehyung's face moved into your line of sight and he grinned at you. "Yeah! We'll deal with them later!" Giggling, you felt yourself relax at their somewhat reassuring words.

"Deal with them later? Please don't."

Areum nudged you and you turned to face her, a determined look set on her face.

"Don't worry, from now on I'll protect you too."

Areum was just too cute for words. Your smile broadened into a warm grin and you wrapped your arms around her, pulling her in for a quick hug.

"Gosh you're adorable."

Jungkook let out a small whine, grabbing your attention.

"What about me?"

You pinched his cheek and he frowned at the childish way you were treating him in.

"I guess you are too."

-

You decided to enjoy the good weather as much as you could and convinced Areum to come with you to the nearby bubble tea café after school. She was currently gushing over your interaction with Jungkook this morning, having caught word of it in the school hallway.

"You guys are so cute! You're not too clingy but you don't awkwardly avoid each other either. You're right in the middle." Rolling your eyes, you felt your cheeks heat up for the second time that day. Areum rambled on and you opted to listen to her in silence.

When you arrived at your destination, you told her to find a table whilst you ordered your drinks. The line was longer than you had expected it to be so you ended up waiting for ten minutes. As soon as you were presented with your order, you grabbed both cups and searched for Areum. It took you awhile to spot her and when you did you had to refrain from gaping in shock. A boy you didn't recognise had wrapped an arm around her shoulders and seemed to be chatting away, not taking notice of her extremely uncomfortable figure. Speed walking to the table they were situated at, you caught the last part of the conversation.

"Come on, you don't have to lie to me. You're obviously here alone. I think you're pretty cute so let's go chill out somewhere else. Get to know each other." He wiggled his eyebrows in a suggestive way and you had to stop yourself from giving him a good punch to the head.

"Actually, she's not here alone. She's got company so do you mind leaving? Thanks." You tried to remain as polite as possible but this boy just screamed 'douche'.

"What's wrong baby, you can join us too. Don't be a cock-blocking bitch."

Yeah, he's definitely a douche.

Placing your drinks on the table, you wrapped your hand around his arm and slowly lifted it from Areum's shoulder.

"Well, I'm going to be a cock-blocking bitch and maybe even a batshit crazy bitch if you don't leave my friend alone." He seemed to be taken aback by your reply but soon recovered and stood up, looming over you in what you assumed was meant to be intimidating. It didn't work since he was quite literally a centimetre taller than you.

"Y/N, stop! Please don't get into trouble for me again." You took notice of Areum's extremely worried tone and your determination wavered. You returned your attention back to the problem at hand when you heard him scoff at Areum's innocent plead. This only angered you further.

"Just leave before I lose my shit."

"Woah, what's with the hostility? Maybe I should to teach you some manners..." Proceeding to grab your wrist, he narrowed his eyes at you, daring you to fight back. You felt the grip on your wrist tighten and you were jerked forward, making contact with the boys chest. Right when you were going to show him what hostility looked like, another hand grabbed his wrist in a vice like grip and you looked up to find Jungkook's seething face.

"That's my job. Who the fuck are you and why are your hands on my girl? Can't she have a fucking drink with her friend without lowlife shits like you bothering them?"

The boy stiffened and released your wrist, your hand unconsciously rubbing the partially sore mark that was left.

"J-jeon?"

Jungkook raised an eyebrow and you noticed the knuckles on the hand that was around the boys wrist were turning white.

"Yeah, what? Have you got something to say?"

The boy threw his arm out of Jungkook's grasp and took a couple of steps back.

"Not really, I was just leaving..." Navigating his way around Jungkook, he avoided all eye contact with you and shuffled out of the café. It was then that you noticed everyone's eyes were on you for the umpteenth time that day. Quickly glancing in Areum's direction, you saw Jimin calming her down. Sitting down opposite them, you placed your hands on your head and let out a heavy sigh. Movement from your right side let you know that Jungkook was now sitting beside you. He enveloped you in a hug and buried his face into your hair, mumbling to you.

"Forget about everyone. They don't matter..."  Nodding your head, you wound your arms around his waist and embraced him back. After half a minute, you released each other and he grinned at you, grabbing your drink and sipping some. Hitting his arm, you snatched your drink out of his hand.

"Hey! Don't I get a thank you drink?"

You stuck your tongue out at his pouting face and you heard Jimin and Areum chuckle at your childish antics.

"Not mine."

[50shadesof-kpop]

Alter Ego

Pairing: Junhoe x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count:  600

« You should have told me, » you said, really surprised by the situation.

It had been almost two weeks since you noticed Junhoe was up to something but you had no idea what. He had asked you about your schedule a bit too much for it to be sleek and as he wasn’t very keen on surprises, you didn’t think much of it.

He knew that you would be done with classes today and as expected, he wanted to celebrate it. He knew exactly what you liked for a date and had prepared absolutely everything for it to be perfect. You weren’t the type to like big parties with fireworks and all that stuff. However, you could kill for small attentions and meaningful things.

He had lit your favorite candles on every table and in front of every window, and your favorite fragrance filled the room. He ordered an amazing pasta dish from the restaurant you had both discovered a few weeks ago and loved. He set plates on the coffee table and the TV was setup to his Netflix list, filled with movies you had wanted to watch but was unable too during the semester due to schoolwork. You were amazed by how he always paid attention to what you told him. He was your favorite person to talk to because you knew he never grew tired of listening to you ramble about your days.

Next to the plates, you could see two tickets for the festival you both had talked about a lot for over a year. You had planned on saving up to invite him there but was amazed to see that he had actually done just that for you.

To top it all, Junhoe dressed casually but as always he looked his best. He looked laid back which you though was sexy as hell, his hair was slightly wet, and smelled like heaven like he always did. He had planned a cozy night in, just what you needed to relax after stressful exams, and you could tell you were about to have an awesome date with your boyfriend. You were really surprised by all of this.

“I wanted to surprise you. You’re not happy,” he pursed his lips and looked at you intently searching for a reaction.

“I am,” you raised your hands to his chest in an attempt to reassure him. “I’m just shocked... It’s really nice of you, really it is. But you should have told me.”

“I wanted to surprise you, I couldn’t tell you. Obviously. Duh” He snickered sarcastically and you chuckled at his sassy self.

You could see that he was starting to get annoyed by your reaction when he spoke again.

“Honestly I wasn’t expecting this reaction from you, I worked really hard on all this and now you can’t even… ugh, you’re so annoying”

“I’m sorry, it’s just...”

“No, it’s okey. You want to relax after your exam. I guess it wasn’t the best time to surprise you”

“No, don’t say that. This is really perfect. The thing is, I had planned something for us too, for tomorrow thankfully. So I’m surprised that you thought of the same thing,” You said while taking something from your bag.

His eyes grew bigger as he saw the tickets for the festival that you handed him with a reservation for the Brazilian restaurant he asked many times that you went to. His face lit up and he looked up at you, chuckling at the situation.

“We’re really meant to be.”

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. i got up at like 7:30, found out the school was closed until 10, and went back to bed. then i got up for my psychiatrist appointment, got a call that it was canceled, and went back to bed. no meds for me. i promised the counter lady i’d reschedule the appointment tomorrow when i would be at the health center for my regular doctor’s appointment.

then i realized my doctor’s appointment was during my si outreach event, so i would have to reschedule that too. luckily, that ended up not being a problem.

my first class was canceled due to the blizzard so i got to relax and try to do homework. except i got an email that i had missed the drop/add deadline for my si training class, so i’d have to fill out the override form and get 3 magical artifacts i mean signatures and deliver the paperwork to the registrar. i went to the slc first to get my supervisor’s signature. she wasted a whole bunch of time talking about stuff i’d already finished doing. then she put me in front of a computer to write a paragraph about how i didn’t know that the drop/add deadline for this 8-week courses was only the 19th, as it had been a 2-week period in previous semesters and was just changed with no notice. i finished it in about a minute and went back to her office to find she had popped over to her neighbor. so i sat outside that office for 10 minutes, getting more antsy and sick. my supervisor finally came out and asked if i’d been waiting for her to print the paragraph, and i said i’d been waiting for ten minutes. she printed it out for me and told me where i needed to go to get the other two signatures. i was gonna do that, but i had to grab a snack first, as i hadn’t eaten in a very long time.

then when i got back to the physics department i got ANOTHER email about my nasa project, which also had paperwork due today. so i printed that out and started filling it out, and then i had to go to class without even getting to start my homework.

immediately upon stepping outside the physics lounge i felt extremely nauseous. it was the worst it’s been in the whole four weeks i’ve been sick, other than when i try to brush my tongue and stick the toothbrush in too far. i’ve been more careful about that lately though. i hobbled over to the math department, put my backpack down, stared at the floor for a few seconds, and immediately went in the bathroom and dry heaved for like 6 minutes. i missed the beginning of class. jay asked where i was about halfway through the class and cody pointed at me. i waved at him. i told heather i was feeling really seriously sick, and spent the whole class sweating and staring at my desk in the back. 

after class jay managed to talk me into getting some lunch. i was feeling a little better, so i promised myself i’d only eat a little bit, so i didn’t upset my stomach further. i had some sweet potatoes and a cup of thai tea, which was probably a mistake. i joked around with jay and rob and then we went to quantum 2. i put my backpack down and then had to run to the bathroom to puke for reals. then my nose started bleeding, and my eyes got dry and itchy and painful. i was a little shaken up, since i can usually handle my nausea better than that. i asked the professor if i should go to the health center or if he would prefer i go after class and he practically kicked me out. the walk to the health center was the longest walk i’ve ever been through. even though it was about 3 minutes away.

i talked to the lady at the front desk and she canceled my appointment for tomorrow in order to get me in right then. i couldn’t tell if the doctor was happy or annoyed when she asked some questions and i launched into my entire medical history and every conversation i’ve had over the last 4 weeks relating to my illness. she had me lay back on the table and put her hand on my right side, which surprisingly hurt actually a lot. she said something about my gallbladder and left to set up an appointment with the hospital. she asked if i had any plans for the afternoon or if could see them immediately and i said i had some paperwork to finish, but no classes. but the radiologist at the hospital was too busy today, so i gotta go on thursday morning at like 7. i get the feeling that since the radiologist thinks it’s going to take longer than an hour and a half he might be checking on more than one internal organ.

i rescheduled my appointment with my psychiatrist and trudged over to the offices i needed to get signatures from, and turned in that paperwork. then i finished my nasa project application and told my quantum professor i was still alive. and i contacted all my morning professors about missing class on thursday. i’ve missed more school than i’ve attended so far this semester between the funeral, the weather, and now this.

i talked to rob a bit on the way home since we ran into each other on the bus. we talked about the nasa project and what the week looked like for me. i was in a lot of pain, but it started fading by the time i got home. it took 50 minutes to get home.

i ate a veggie dog for dinner, and when i only felt a little nauseous, i made a second one and had some fruit, which had started to look a little weird after i didn’t have time to eat it last week. so i only had a little bit. and i STILL didn’t get any homework done! gotta try to get up early tomorrow morning and try again. i don’t know if i can manage jazzercise tomorrow though, my stomach area is still pretty uncomfortable even though i haven’t eaten anything else for hours.

and my dad blew me off when i complained about a sharp pain in my side on saturday! and mom blew me off too at the airport when it first started. that airplane ride was so long, but not as long as the time i had shigella and was actually dying and the plane ride took about 19 hours. or maybe it was just 9. i can’t remember any more. definitely at least 19 hours total travel time from malawi to south africa to georgia to arizona.

anyway, i’ve been having random symptoms and various pains in different areas that come and go for four weeks now. nothing really consistent other than generally feeling like something’s wrong. like even yesterday evening when i was feeling fine physically i still would have described myself as “sick” somehow. 

i might have to miss more class, depending on how i feel tomorrow. at least i have the doctor’s appointment note for thursday, so i’ll only really get one unexcused absence. but i’m hoping to feel ok enough for class tomorrow. i really need to do this homework... gotta pull myself together somehow. 

i guess in a way i kind of hope something is seriously wrong. i guess it would make me feel justified, in a way? like no wonder i feel terrible and have no patience for anything, i had some serious illness that wasn’t treated! and the first doctor said i had vertigo for some reason! 

i’ve been writing this post for a half hour. i should try to sleep. today, despite getting up kind of late, was very densely packed. i still haven’t told my parents i need an ultrasound, partially because i left my phone at home today on accident. but i think i’ll wait until i get some results before i say anything. mom kind of freaks the hell out when something is wrong. 

maybe i’m burying my emotions about the whole thing, because i sure don’t have any strong feelings about it. i didn’t really have strong feelings about grandma’s death either, except a seriously delayed reaction to seeing her dead body. i didn’t have any super strong feelings about glenn either, except getting annoyed when he called me “sweetie.” if this had been ten years ago his presence would have really rustled my jimmies. i guess i’ve stopped feeling too upset about losing my pokemon game too. i just feel a kind of heavy dark deadness when i think about it. the only thing that really makes me lose my temper is being unable to articulate my feelings to jim. i guess because i don’t have any feelings? i gotta be feeling SOMETHING, though, because my homework is as done as raw steak, and i don’t usually completely ignore it when it’s open right in front of me unless i’m upset about something else. dr. cole has been really gentle with me about the nuclear homework and my last grad school application, and my laplace transforms professor said i could have an extra day to turn in my make-up work, and hogan said i should take my time looking over his notes from quantum today, and i got a quick recap about the class from rob, so everyone is being pretty nice about everything... even jay said he was sorry about my grandmother. maybe there’s something about my face or posture i’m not noticing. 

i keep wanting to cry but i can’t... quite... make the tears come out of my eyes. i wanted to talk to my psychiatrist about it, but i’m seeing a different doctor on monday since she’s booked through like all of february. i am at least getting a refill on my current meds. i’m worried about how much progress i’m going to make with this new therapist, wei luo. if i can’t get myself through all this garbage before the end of the semester i’ll be really disappointed. and maybe not as emotionally prepared for grad school as i would like to be. at least i’m not getting so many random panic attacks frequently throughout the day. maybe i’m tiring myself out doing all this running around.

i gotta try to sleep. it’s almost 11 now. i started writing before 10:15. but i think it was good to get all these thoughts down somewhere. i haven’t had a lot of time to think about what’s going on, but i keep doing it anyway, so maybe writing it down will help me stop thinking about this and think about important things like my schoolwork and falling asleep for a little bit.