#i have so many comfort characters that this was actually a challenge

[haven-of-dusk]

'Five' Comfort Characters, tagged by @wolfboy88

(I'm doing six, because I feel like it, and I still had to leave one out)

EJ Caswell (HSMTMTS):

Eddie Diaz (9-1-1):

Colin Hughes (Ted Lasso):

Isaac Lahey (Teen Wolf):

Claude von Riegan (Fire Emblem):

Plo Koon (Star Wars)

Tagging @mmoosen, @rosesradio, @orbitalpirate, @careless-whispers, & @azurecanary (No pressure)

[avelera]

*whispers* Viktor never once says anything mean or belittling to Jayce after they become partners. Not one insulting "you" statement, not one disagreement where he doesn't remained focused on the point of contention. He never makes ad hominem attacks, he never insults Jayce's appearance or intelligence.

Literally the single meanest thing he says to Jayce that could be considered a "you" statement is "Your mind has become rigid." Basically, he's saying that Jayce has suffered so much recently that it's closed his mind to broader intellectual possibilities like, that is barely an insult, and clearly Viktor just means it as a statement of fact, if not a challenge for Jayce to joyously consider possibilities again. And by the way? That statement is when Viktor is in his full his villain arc. It's remarkable because it's the only time he's pointed out a perceived flaw in Jayce since the night when he questioned if Jayce signed his notes out of being egotistical.

From the moment Jayce told Viktor about how beautiful magic could be, arguably once Jayce became a person to Viktor rather than a subject of academic discipline or skepticism, Viktor has not once leveled a personal attack against him as a person. Not even during the fight on the bridge. Not even when he called Jayce's Councilor work a waste of our time. Not even when Jayce was considering making Hextech weapons, Viktor still remained focused on the substance of the argument, expressed incredulity, anger, even disgust that Jayce would consider making weapons, but he never said it was because Jayce was stupid or privileged or blind. He pointed out specifically that he knew Jayce felt trapped by the decision, he knew Jayce was being manipulated, and then, in a very pointed manner, Viktor reminded Jayce that there's always a choice, challenging Jayce to stand firm and do what was right.

Even when they parted ways in 2.02, Viktor didn't say there was anything wrong with Jayce. He just said their paths had diverged, again not saying anything was wrong with Jayce, or even his choices, but rather that they're two different people who had stayed together longer than their diverging goals normally would have allowed because of the affection they held for each other.

I don't know, I get why people write Viktor as catty or mean or dismissive of Jayce. There's definitely some quotes from the day they met, before they become partners, that lend to the idea that Viktor can be quite dry and sharp with others. And conflict is the stuff of good fiction so again, totally get putting some conflict between him and Jayce in fic.

But I also think there's a tendency in derivative works like fic to Flanderize the characters, or worse, put them into narrow archetype boxes that are vastly different from their more interesting and nuanced canon selves.

How many times have we seen a wiggly man/straight man or blue vs. red personality partnership duo? How often have we seen those partners not be able to fucking stand each other, who are bickering all the time, who are snide or backtalk, or are perpetually sarcastic?

It's so common that I get why people see it with Jayce and Viktor but that's why it's so damn fascinating to me that they aren't like that.

Jayce and Viktor don't suffer each other unwillingly at any point, even when they're having a goddamn flying superhero fight in the final episode they're talking about how they're happy to see each other and praying that the other will please step away from this destructive path! They don't want to hurt each other, even verbally!

During the years of their partnership, they're constantly delighted by the other's presence, they are instantly comfortable together and never have a bad word to say to or about each other. They actually don't bicker! When they have disagreements, they stay entirely focused on the point of the disagreement and they never dip into personal attacks of any kind.

Even the tone of the time Jayce yells at him on the bridge, arguably their most acrimonious moment in the whole first season, isn't an actual argument, no more than a parent yelling at their child for running into traffic is an argument. Jayce says awful things but it's clear his anger comes from fear for Viktor and for their precarious situation. And it's clear this is a deeply unusual moment for both of them, Viktor is taken aback at how unusual it is, Jayce once called out backs down immediately, arguably because it's so unnatural for them to fight at all that it takes the wind out of the sails of Jayce's anger instantly when he realizes he's crossed a line.

No one can drag a bad word about Viktor out of Jayce, and vice versa! When Singed implies that Viktor might lose loved ones over his choices, Viktor immediately (and correctly!) states that Jayce will understand.

They are rigorously protective of one another too. Arguably all the times Viktor excludes Jayce from his Hexcore experiments in S1 is to protect him from his reckless and likely illegal experiments (as well as not wanting Jayce to stop him and wanting to live, but it can be many things). Jayce constantly cites Viktor as his partner and constantly reiterates that Viktor is his priority in life, that saving Viktor comes first. Jayce overthrows the goddamn founder of the city in order to protect Viktor!

Jayce's love for Viktor is so extreme that literally in S2, the only person who can convince Jayce to hurt Viktor, after seeing the post-apocalyptic Hell of a future that is caused by him, is Viktor himself. Jayce doesn't even get mad at Viktor after he learns Viktor is the cause of what he saw! He is instead desperate to get back, to avert the damage caused by their joint work in Hextech, and saved Viktor from the fate worse than death that is Mage Viktor's total isolation in the aftermath. And every step of the way, even knowing what he knows it's clear he's in agony at the thought of having to raise a hand to Viktor at all.

Now of course I'm getting into just how insane their love for one another gets in S2, but I just feel so baffled sometimes reading fic where Viktor is constantly undercutting, insulting, or belittling Jayce every which way. He never once does that after the partnership begins. And it makes me so insane because we have so many partnerships in media that do devolve into sarcasm, cattiness, and backbiting but Jayce and Viktor aren't one of them and that's really really fucking interesting and worthy of exploration I think.

[feathersandblue]

So, full disclosure, I haven't been a Solas fan before.

I am now.

And that's because of Veilguard and the many, many ways in which I felt let down by this game.

The aspect that bothers me most is the reduction of nuance and complexity.

Rook's hero's cakewalk (because “journey” really isn't the right word) is a ready-made path that offers no deviation at all and never challenges the player in any meaningful way.

Sure, you can spend some time pondering the pros and cons of saving Treviso or Minrathous. Ultimately, it makes no difference. Rook does their best, they just can’t be in two places at once.

Same with the companion character arcs. What does it mean if you decide to you turn Emmrich into a lich? For the most part, it's idle musing. Indulgence. He’ll be happy either way, there are no real stakes. Yeah, your actions do have consequences, just not the sort of consequences that make a substantial difference. It’s the illusion of choice – reduced to cosmetics.

The problems with decisions that cost nothing is that they don’t feel like an accomplishment. They also don’t allow for character growth. Rook doesn’t change, they remain static. Even the section in the Fade where Rooks faces their regrets is easy and comparatively lightweight. Varric was killed by Solas, Harding resp. Davrin died in combat and either Bellara or Neve was abducted by Elgar’nan. It’s not like Rook’s decisions actually caused these events, it’s not like Rook actually failed through a choice they had to make that turned out to be the wrong one. Everyone was there willingly and volunteered to fight the good fight. Rook’s regrets are not about real guilt, they are about feeling sad and guilty. And that – it needs to be said – is not the same thing. At all.

At the same time, the story carefully avoids any kind of true ethical dilemma.

It's not even about the lack of mean or edgy dialogue options; that’s just a symptom. The cause is the writers’ unwillingness to let realism intrude in Rook’s fairytale – the lack of anything that would require Rook to compromise on morals, or fight temptation. Rook is never faced with any sort of moral conundrum, or allowed to act out any kind of vice that realistic characters have. In its straight-path simplicity, Rook's story is apparently written for children and people who remain child-like in their yearning for simple, uncontested truths.

Of all the sorts of conflicts that a story can offer, Veilguard carefully avoids the most realistic and (in my opinion) interesting ones: Character vs. self and character vs. society, aka, politics. The game firmly refuses to go there. To the point where it creates a completely unrealistic consensus on all sides that eliminates yet another sort of conflict: character vs. character.

If Rook and their companions would talk politics, they’d all be on the exact same side. In a two party state, they’d all cast the same vote.

I am sure that there are many players who feel comforted and reassured by that fact, who sincerely believe that this is how stories should be written. That stories should reflect the world not as it is but as they think it should be. But for everyone who likes their stories a little more realistic, that lack of meaningful interpersonal conflict, that lack of real diversity which comes not from appearance but from different cultures and opposing viewpoints amounts to a frankly cringe-worthy, artificial and juvenile surface-level interaction between characters. Or, to phrase it differently: the diversity remains skin-deep and doesn’t extend to the philosophical, and even in the few instances where it does, it shies away from the political.

Which means that the only conflicts that remain are the most boring and stereotypical ones: character vs. monsters resp. the supernatural, where all foes are evil in the blandest way (Supremacist Venatori! Fascist renegade qunari! Power-hungry necromancers!). These conflicts are resolved through exploring maps and endless, repetitive combat.

The only thing that brings a bit of nuance to the game is Solas’s story. And there is an element of character vs. character in Rook’s and Solas’s relationship, but the sad truth is that what could have been a fascinating mirrored character journey falls flat for all the reasons already explained – because where Solas is a character as layered and controversial as it gets, Rook is anything but.

Solas’s story shows how even people with the best intentions and the greatest integrity are ultimately broken by what life throws at them, both by the decisions that are forced upon them and the choices they make on their own. It shows how a prolonged war is always a sunk cost fallacy: I’ve gone this far, if I stop now, it was all for nothing.

Rook’s victories, on the other hand, come without a cost – both in terms of moral corruption and in accountability. The guilt Solas bears is real. The fight against the titans, followed by his war against the Evanuris, requires compromising his own morals, one day at a time, one century after another, he’s trying to save the world yet doomed to fail. Sacrificing the spirits to win a battle after the war has gone this far? Every single war leader around the globe would make the same decision. In fact, all of them do: They do sacrifice the lives of others if it will help them win, they do send soldies into the trenches to die, whether these soldiers want to or not, and they are rarely, if ever, truthful about the reasons why.

In a certain way, the story of the spirit of wisdom turned flesh is reminiscent of the biblical Fall of Man: the original sin. Solas has fallen, and he’s broken. In trying to heal the world, he’s trying to heal himself. The burden is too heavy, the responsibility to great, the knowledge that he is responsible for all of it too devastating. Solas’s greatest conflict is character vs. self. It has the potential to be great. In a way, it is. It’s the single redeeming quality that, depending on your interpretation of what went on behind the scenes, the writers managed to salvage from the original concept of Dreadwolf or the lone pillar that withstood all their attempts to bring it down.

Only sadly, infuriatingly, in the end, that fallen hero’s ending is put into the hands of a protagonist who judges him from the perspective of someone who has never even stumbled – not because they are wiser, braver, or kinder. No, just because the writers were gracious – or cowardly? – enough to never let them fail.

The game gives Rook a moral high ground which isn’t earned in the slightest because Rook never had to walk even a quarter of a mile in Solas’s shoes. They don’t know what they would have done in his stead, they have no idea what it actually means to see the sorry shape the world is in and know that it was your hands that shaped it. And even where Rook might actually be culpable – the interruption of Solas’s ritual that freed the remaining Evanuris – anyone is quick to assure Rook that it wasn’t their fault.

Whatever regrets Rook carries, they’re born from self-doubt and trauma response. Survivor’s guilt, mostly. When compared to Solas’s immense guilt, Rook’s regrets are, for lack of a better term, insignificant. That Rook manages to face them doesn’t mean that they are more truthful or emotionally mature, it just means that Rook’s story is a tale for children and Solas’s is not.

It’s not that I’m necessarily opposed to the idea that the player decides Solas’s fate through their actions. It’s the injustice of it all that bothers me: The player is led through a game that provides a safe space for their character, one that is devoid of any interpersonal conflict and any ethical quandary. Rooks succeeds through kindness and heroism and taking their companions on team bonding exercises.

As if Solas could have won the war against the Evanuris if he’d taken the time to take his companions on coffee dates.

The juxtaposition – Rook vs. Solas – fails, simply because of this deep divide. Rook’s story is detached from reality and yet Rook gets to be Solas’s judge, jury, and executioner. On what grounds?

As I said, right in the beginning, I haven’t been a Solas fan before. But by the end of Veilguard, I was firmly, irrevocably, Team Solas, just because I was so annoyed that the narrative put Rook in a position of moral superiority. I detested my own character. Jesus, what a goody two-shoes! I was rooting for Solas simply because his story was so much more: a genuine tragedy, a study in complexity. Rook, on the other hand, remains bland, snotty, unchanged. Untried.

The thing is, I don’t believe that my reaction was one the writers had intended. I strongly feel that they didn’t mean for me to pick up on their double standard, that they expected me to walk away fully satisfied, convinced that Rook and The Team were the Good Guys because they went on picnics and petted the griffon, their final victory well-earned and just. If only Solas had had a Team and taken care of their emotional needs – he could have taken down the Evanuris with nary a scratch!

It’s all so very disingenuous.

Rook and, by extension, the player exist in a bubble of sanitized content. That is clearly deliberate. The player is meant to like it there. (In that sense, it’s only logical that they changed the title from Dreadwolf to Veilguard.) And clearly, it does resonate with a certain kind of their player base: mostly with people, I think, who would like their real life to be a bubble too and whose only experience with moral corruption is when they find it in others.

[604to647]

✨Anniversary and Follower Milestone Celebration and Giveaway!✨

A little over a year ago, I returned to my old photography blog and repurposed it to what you see today - purging all my old followers (including the sex bots 🥹) and started from scratch and now... OMIGOD?! 😭😭😭 I've recently passed a follower milestone that seems unbelievable to 1 year ago Emily who screenshot when her post got 11 notes and sent it to Mr. 604 so excited (oblivious that one of those likes was me liking on accident 😂). I love you all so dearly for visiting me and reading my silly stories - every interaction and follow has been treasured. Sometimes I still can’t believe y’alls kindness towards me 🫣🥰

At this time last year, I also started writing my first fic, which has turned into my longest running series: Safest with You. Some of you have been with me and this series since the very beginning and I couldn’t be more grateful - the first one shot, Carnival Fright Night, was posted Oct. 13/2023 and Ch. 1 followed on Nov. 10/2023. Now one full year later, we've wrapped it up with the Epilogue😭😭😭

To celebrate, I would love to do two things:

1) A Giveaway! Everything in the first pic (full description below the cut) will be sent to one lucky winner! You don’t have to follow me or have read any of my fics - all you have to do to enter is say something nice about someone in our community. You can leave it in a comment or a reblog of this post, or send me an ask (with 🎁) - BAM! You’re entered 😁. No one needs to follow me - I just love it when people hype each other up and spread positivity 💕

2) Nonsense Outros. The first piece of writing I ever posted wasn’t actually a fic but song lyrics 😂🤭 specifically, Sabrina Carpenter Nonsense Outros inspired by Pedro characters 😂 They are silly and challenging to write and I want to do some more! If you want, please send me an Ask with 🎶 for a character or a link to a fic (it can be yours, someone else’s if they’re ok with it, or you can request one of mine even!) - I will read it (if I haven’t already!) and write you an Outro for the PBoi in the fic/character (or try, anyways! 😁)

You can do both if you want! And as many times as you want 🥰 until Monday, December 2, 2024.

Thank you thank you all again! 💋

It’s been a great year here with you all 🥹🥂🥂

Giveaway prize includes: Din Djarin magnet, postcard and washi tape, Barón Tovar Takes a Wife holographic keychain, Safest with You washi tape, one (1) copy of Pedro fan magazine, one (1) copy of Vanity Fair 30th Hollywood Issue, one (1) customized Pedro photocard holder (I will make you one based on your fave colours/themes and I also have a bunch of photocards for you to choose from or I can make you one from a photo you send!).

I am happy to pay for shipping and will ship internationally from Canada (when the strike is over), but yes it means you have to provide me an address. I am active in a collectibles trading community on IG and can provide references if it makes you feel more comfortable in doing so👍🏻.

Winner will be selected randomly via the Excel random number generator in the first week of December 2024. This giveaway isn't administered, sponsored, endorsed by, or associated with Tumblr.

Tagging a few lovely people to help spread the word and/or may be interested 🥰😘:

@aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @yopossum @almostfoxglove @sawymredfox

@inept-the-magnificent @jeewrites @jessthebaker @nerdieforpedro @joelalorian

@magpiepills @secretelephanttattoo @joelmillerisapunk @holacia3 @galaxyedging

@tuquoquebrute @whirlwindrider29 @pedroswife69 @pedges-world @ghotifishreads

@penvisions @jobean12-blog @auteurdelabre @angiewatson @morallyinept

@mermaidgirl30 @arcanefox207 @baronessvonglitter @grogusmum @ace-turned-confused

@furiousmushroom @cheekychaos28 @72scsuze @toobsessedsstuff @mellymbee

@that1nerd-20 @alltheotps @evolnoomym @greenwitchfromthewoods @maievdenoir

@hipabbster23 @bitccchmood @bigbutchenergee @rainbowcat164 @the-strawberrythief

@johnssherlock221 @misstokyo7love @vivian-pascal @florxdexcerezo @fanficlover1414

@rarachelchel @heartbrokenlilbitch-nef @sunnytuliptime @kulekehe @guelyury

@rav3n-pascal22 @sjc7542 @kilamonster @mandoshoney @syd-djarin

@moonlessnight14 @lucienofthelakes @heareball @lillaydee @yorksgirl

@sheepdogchick3 @desert-fern

[jweekgoji]

I keep laughing when I think about the scene where Motorcycle!Reader is so small that they don't have their own charging chamber and have to live in someone else's charging chamber because after all they are so small that they don't take up much space.

TFO!Chars/Motorcycle!Reader [hcs]

tw: none, i guess. word count: ~1600 additional tags: gender neutral reader, cybertronian reader, motorcycle!reader. characters included: B-127, Optimus Prime, Elita-One, Megatron, Sentinel Prime.

That is both a curse and a blessing in my opinion, but well, it depends on whom the tiny reader is stuck with 😋

I mean, >B-127 didn't even have his own place to sleep. All the yellow bot had, was a conveyor belt, which I doubt it was really comfortable, haha. Well then, after just ending Sentinel's regime, the ex-cogless group at least have some places to stay.

When Bee found out you'd be living with him for a while, he was overjoyed! First he made many, many new friends, gained the ability to transform, started working for the government, and now...he has a roommate? A real roommate? The one who can open their mouth when 🐝 talks to them? The day couldn't be any better! (Not that Bee wasn't happy with Steve's company...).

To be fair, Bee himself isn't exactly a bad neighbor either. It all very much depends on what kind of personality you have. If you really get along well with him, despite his extremely emotional state, which sometimes seems to never end, then good luck!

Sharing a chamber with him is going to be an absolute challenge. We remember that he talks in his sleep, don't we? And if Shockwave was so sick of Bumblebee in that short time, imagine how you have to recharge, but now all you can hear, instead of the silence you crave, is constant mumbling into your audio receptors.

Sometimes he's just mumbling about what a cool day he had with Optimus or what an intense training session Elita gave him.

Sometimes you notice how his servos only pull you harder against him. For a moment, you'd probably sigh wearily or try to make some space between you until he starts whispering softly about how happy Bee is to have you in his life. He genuinely, really genuinely loves you. After cycles of being alone, he really misses your company. Will you decide to move him away from you nevertheless?

The next morning, surprisingly, he has no memory of what he told you at all.

> Optimus apologizes to you so much when he finds out that now, unfortunately or thankfully (?), they don't have any time or resources at all to build new quarters. The new Prime has so many new responsibilities that he doesn't even know where to start! He has to clean up and fix Sentinel's mistakes, not to mention his divorce with D-16 Megatron, which has caused him a lot of trouble. But that's okay, our favorite Prime has a solution for that!

And as a good, true leader...yes, yes, you will be the one sharing the room. Lucky, huh? Oh, lucky you.

Optimus is actually one of the best candidates to share a chamber. I find that most of the time, he doesn't have much time to go to his room and fall asleep. You often fall asleep alone, only to wake up later...alone. Was he with you? Did he come in at all? In response to this, you sometimes notice him passed out at his desk. You should definitely tell Elita about this to scold him about such a bad habit.

Actually, he'd be happy to share the charging chamber with you. The thing is, he's extremely shy.

When you fall asleep with him, there's just not enough room! Yeah, you're a pretty small bot, he's just so huge. It takes the two of you a long time to finally find the only comfortable solution.

With you on top of Optimus, you can put your helm on his chassis. The soft shimmer of the Matrix of Leadership doesn't bother you at all; if anything, it calms your nerves. All night long, your leader may never move from his position. He's so afraid he might accidentally hit you if he rolls over or decides to stand up...poor Prime, even Megatron didn't set such dangerous traps for him!

The first few nights, Optimus doesn't sleep much. He's nervous; he thinks up to the late night, but in the end, he can't resist you, and you two can get your well-deserved rest.

I think after Prime, the best candidate for your roommate would be >Elita. I like to think she always sleeps in “mom's pose” (if you know what I mean).

She can lie on her back with her servos on her chassis and not move a muscle all night. Other than that, she's a completely silent sleeper. Sometimes, you can stay up late at night; your shared room is unlit, and you don't want to turn on the lights so as not to disturb her. If she finds out you've been out the whole night instead of recharging, she'll kill you!

You swear you didn't even make the slightest creak, and just then, you see those bright blue optics staring at you in the darkness. Without even seeing her face, you know you're in trouble...She has very sharp hearing, unfortunately for you.

Elita isn't the tallest bot; sure, she's still taller than you, but her frame is pretty slim, unlike the others'. She is not the type to cuddle, even if you are extremely close to her. The most you can expect is her servo around your waist or shoulders.

You can tease her about it, but she'll try to deny everything, saying “just don't want you to fall and hit the floor 🙄” of course we all believe you, Elita!

I can see D-16 being a similar type to Optimus, but Megatron is a different story. I have no idea where our young Decepticon leader went with his guards, but at least they have a few cycles to spend building a base, especially one with all the comforts.

Megatron himself is not a fan of sharing, and when he realizes the problem, he doesn't even ask you if you want him to or not. You will share the chamber with him, period. Should you be worried or happy...?

Megatron, especially if we're talking about a young and inexperienced leader who was only recently forced to leave Iacon, is in need of support. He won't show it in front of anyone, not even you. But you know him enough to know what is troubling him.

He is so isolated, betrayed and saddened, he is afraid to open up to anyone else. And yet, he genuinely wishes someone could just hold him.

Megatron rarely sleeps. 24 hours a day, all he has on his mind is what he should do next. It used to be so easy; the mere thought of it makes him grit his teeth. When there was Sentinel, all that was required was to just follow the protocols. Now, with hundreds of high guard members expecting him to do something, he's lost.

At some point, Starscream or Soundwave will remind him of the importance of rest, and without any enthusiasm, he'll join you.

Now, the two of you are extremely awkward.

Of course, you can't tell much from his looks. Is he asleep? Or still lying there with his optics closed? This awkward silence makes you afraid to move. But the truth is, Megatron himself doesn't know what to do. You're so small compared to him; by some miracle, the two of you can fit, but it's so extremely uncomfortable.

Eventually, he can't stand it and just lifts you up to lay you on top of him. Luckily for him, you have no intention of moving away from him. Perhaps you're afraid; maybe you're okay with this change in positions. Either option is fine with him.

He repeats in his head that this is only temporary...when resources become available, you will get your own separate quarters, and you will be able to sleep separately. And yet, he doesn't want that. Your presence around him, for whatever reason, makes him forget his worries for a while, and he can finally rest.

You may disagree with me, but >Sentinel, no matter how sexy man people try to show him to be, would be just a terrible roommate! If he can even be called a roommate? Sometimes, he forgets that you're resting here too, and even if you remind him of that, he'll pretend to “listen” to you, only to forget after a while.

In fact, he could easily order a separate room for you; he's got plenty of them in his tower, but he's like.... no. He wants you around just because he can. There's no other reason.

I think he's more or less tolerable at first? He likes to keep something small next to him; imagine it like the cybertronian equivalent of plush toys, but only that toy is you. And it seems he may see you as such.

Every night, he can grab you at any time he wants and hold you against him. One time he just held you by his side; another time he decided to put his servo around you; tonight he wanted you on his chassis! The worst part is that his berth is quite spacious. And you can lie on the very far side, only for him to snatch you whenever he wants. Not very funny.

Recharging with him is pretty uncomfortable because those damn wings keep hitting you in the face every night. He's a pretty big bot on his own, and his wings are another big nuisance. Of course, he's not that terrible. Still, his room is very large, and you're probably very cozy, but Sentinel...sigh.

It's funny, but I like to think of him mumbling in his sleep too. Only this time all you can hear from him is about how often he praises himself. Wow.

[lilislegacy]

as a huge fan of both harry potter and percy jackson, it always rubs me the wrong way when people criticize harry by saying, “percy challenged the corrupt system and held them accountable, harry became part of it.” if the aim is to criticize jk rowling, i’m more than willing, but there are plenty of other decisions she made that actually deserve scrutiny. harry becoming an auror is not one of them. he didn’t join a flawed institution to become part of its corruption; he joined because he intended to FIX it. harry is extremely powerful, headstrong and determined, naturally drawn to mysteries, and has a deep commitment to justice. he was made to be an auror. and his goal is to make the wizarding world safer, to pursue dark wizards and death eaters, and to eliminate the threats that hang over the post-war wizarding world.

i love percy more than anything, and his choice to step back and live his life instead of becoming an immortal god was a brave and humble decision. i adore him for it. i love how our seaweed brain just wants to live his life in peace with his girlfriend and his besties. but harry, after all the betrayal and trauma he endured from the ministry, choosing to work within it — knowing how broken it was — took IMMENSE courage. he could have lived comfortably on his fortune or pursued a much more fun path in quidditch. but instead, he chose to be right there in the thick of it, determined to fix a broken system and put dangerous individuals where they belong. after everything he’s been through? that’s fucking amazing. it’s very on brand for harry.

so yeah i have endless admiration for percy for calling out corruption. but harry didn’t tell them to fix it. he chooses to fix it himself.

stop pitting my boys against each other. jk rowling has made a lot of mistakes in her life, many that i will never forgive her for. but making harry an auror was not one of them. he was born for it, and it would have been cheap and out of character to say he chose a career that’s fun or easy. because harry never backs down from a challenge, and especially not one that saves a life.

[tetragonia]

A Wave of Feelings

Rafe Cameron x F!Pogue!Reader

Blurb: Rafe and (Y/N) got into an argument for God knows how many times, about literally anything when they breath the same air, ranging from a small accident to a heated one about their cultural beliefs. But something in the air was different this time. Or was it only in the air? Not something in their heart and mind when the two of you finally realize something big that could change your lives?

Note: I have always wanted to write an angst especially for this character and it has occurred to me one day that arguing/miscommunication plot is kind of my fave trope so here we are lol.

Warning: angst, hurt/comfort, miscommunication, argument, bad writing lol English isn't my first language. also, soft!Rafe in the end!

Words: 1490

The sun hung low over the Outer Banks as Rafe Cameron and you found yourself embroiled in yet another heated argument. This was clearly not the first time you both got into an argument. Some of them were heavy like that one time when your best friend asked you to go to the party just to talk to Rafe (which she did) but then he dumped her after the party and she cried for weeks on your shoulder, or some Kook-owned properties that limited your access, or some insulting banter between Rafe and your friends (that got you realized how much he hated JJ).

But most of the time it was just about silly things: when he knocked up your beer accidentally, when you sailed in front of him and accidentally splashed some water (it didn't even make his already oily hair wet), or when you were napping in a near beach and he claimed that it was his territory (he was in the Cut area, for God's sake!). You two always found a way to argue.

This time, your voices clashed like crashing waves, echoing off the walls of the old shipwreck where you had sought refuge.

"You're impossible, Rafe! Always acting like you own this place, roaming around thinking that you're so much better than us Pogues," you exclaimed, your voice tinged with frustration. Pogues always owned this place, not some rich snobby kids like him, you thought.

Rafe's jaw clenched, his temper flaring and pride wounded. He hissed, "Maybe if you Pogues have some ambitions, you wouldn't be stuck in the same place your whole life!"

Oh, this was definitely one of those heavy arguments.

Your fists clenched at your sides as took a step forward. Your voice trembling with emotion. "You have no idea what it's like to struggle, Rafe. You've always had everything handed to you on a silver platter."

For a moment, you needed to convince yourself that you saw Rafe's gaze softened. You wanted to believe that a flicker of remorse crossed his features before he quickly masked it with a defiant glare. "At least I don't have to scrape by just to survive. Maybe if you Pogues worked harder, you'd actually amount to something."

His words struck deep, a painful reminder of the challenges you and your community faced every day. You recoiled as if struck by a lightning, your eyes stinging with unshed tears and your face was red, "You don't know anything about me, Rafe. You don't know what I've been through."

Your argument drew the attention of Sarah who was nearby with John. She was one of your best friends and you felt nothing but pity every time you realized that she shared the same blood with Rafe. With a furrowed brow, she stepped between you two, her hands raised in a gesture of peace trying to calm you down.

"Hey, what's going on here? Can't you two go five minutes without arguing?" Sarah pleaded, her voice filled with concern and annoyance. She must be tired with all these arguments, you thought. But those were all about Rafe's incapability to control his temper! And that might or might not be your issue as well...

Rafe shot you a scorching glare before turning his attention to Sarah. "Stay out of this, Sarah. This doesn't concern you."

Your eyes flashed with defiance as you stepped forward beside Sarah. "You're the one who concerns everyone with your existence!"

"What did you say to her, Rafe?!" Sarah looked at you with a concern. You were one of her strongest friends and she rarely saw you tremble like this. "Come on, talk it out like an adult, will ya!"

Rafe's fists clenched at his sides, his frustration boiling over. "Talk? What's there to talk about? I said, stay out of this, Sarah."

His gaze turned to you, "You think you know everything, (Y/N). Being the weaker one of the community, blaming us for having some money. If you said that I don't know anything about you, then you also don't know anything about me!"

His words cut like a blade across your pain. Your expression softened, a hint of hurt flickering in your eyes and you were not sure whether Rafe realize that or not. "Let's just cut it out. You would never understand what I've been through. What we have been through. Let's go, Sarah. Let's get out of here."

Sarah watched the exchange with growing concern, her heart aching for her brother and her best friend. She knew there was something deeper at play here, something that neither of them wanted to admit.

"Come on, you two. Let's take a step back and calm down, especially you, Rafe," Sarah suggested, her voice gentle yet firm. She glared at his brother. His face was as red as you, his forehead frowned deep.

You and Rafe exchanged a wary glance before reluctantly exhaled a deep breath. As much as you hate him, as much as you didn't want to admit, you really want him to apologize. The tension in the air began to dissipate, replaced by a palpable sense of unease.

Sarah sighed, running a hand through her hair as she tried to find the right words. "Look, I know things have been tense lately, but I really can't bear another sight of you guys bicker over things. If you still want to do that, please not where I can see you. I need you two to be in your best behavior when I'm around. Especially with you, Rafe. I have enough of you already."

Rafe's gaze softened as he looked at his sister, a pang of guilt tugging at his heart. "You're right, Sarah. I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier."

Sarah still held her concern, but she relieved to see them finally finding common ground. "It's okay. Now I'll leave it up to you. I can't mom you around like this, geez."

She walked away from you both. She lived long enough with both you and Rafe and there was no way she did not realized that beneath the surface, there was a different kind of tension simmered—a tension born from unspoken feelings and unacknowledged desires.

You stood still, refused to meet his gaze. The wind blew your hair as the sun began to set. You started to feel the chill and instinctively hug your own body, fixing your shirt together. You accidently drew a sharp breath when a cold wind sent chills down your spine. You sniffed and looked over the horizon. Refusing to take even the tiniest glance at him, you kept looking at the sea while stroking your upper arm.

Despite the heat of your argument, Rafe couldn't ignore the way the cold seemed to seep into your bones, making you appeared small and vulnerable against the vast expanse of the beach. His heart ached at this view.

You didn't see that he wanted to reach out, to wrap his arms around you and shield her from the biting wind; his hesitation to offer you warmth and comfort in the midst of your argument.

But his pride held him back, a barrier he had built long ago to protect himself from vulnerability and pain. Yet now, standing on the windswept beach with you before him, he couldn't ignore the truth any longer.

With a heavy sigh, Rafe took a step forward, his voice barely above a whisper as he spoke. "(Y/N), I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things. I was out of line."

Your eyes widened in surprise at Rafe's apology, your anger momentarily forgotten as she regarded him with cautious curiosity. You had expected him to be stubborn, to be the usual Rafe: to dig in his heels and refuse to back down. But instead, here he was, standing before you with such humility you'd never seen before.

For a moment, the two of them stood in silence, the only sound the crashing of the waves against the shore. And then, slowly, hesitantly, you took a step forward, closing the distance between them.

"Rafe," you said softly, your voice barely audible above the wind. "Thank you."

And with that, Rafe's resolve crumbled completely. Ignoring the voice of doubt in his mind, he opened his arms and pulled you into a tight embrace, provided you with the warmth of his body against yours. He could feel the softness of your hair against his cheek and he kissed your head softly it almost gave you a heart attack.

So you were not hallucinating all this time. The glances, the gestures, the underlying concern for her.... He felt the same way, too.

In that moment, with the cold wind whipping around them, you knew that he had finally acknowledged his feelings for you. And as you stood together on the windswept beach, you both vowed to never let your pride stand in the way of your connection again.

[anachronismstellar]

I'm still in a weird mood, but at least I'm writing lol

This was supposed to be a fun/cute cumplane fic, but my brain got taken over by @mysteryteacup post about Airplane being a good writer he just couldn't afford the time to write.

Hope you guys enjoy it!

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"Do you think we would have met before?"

The question came a bit out of nowhere, disrupting the soft mood of the bamboo house. The weather was warm, rain hitting the roof in a soothing pattern, the open doors bringing in the green hues inside the living room along with a gentle breeze.

Shen Yuan closed his book, setting Airplane's latest story aside. The plot was not so terrible now that they had stepped down as peak lords. Retirement had a good look on him, made his shoulders relaxed and his posture elegant, as if he had finally made himself comfortable with his body, fear a mask long forgotten.

"What do you mean?" Shen Yuan didn't pick up his fan as once he would, his own insecurities whispers from the past. Instead, he just turned his face at Airplane, both watching as smoke curled up from Airplane's long pipe.

Outside, thunder rolled over them like the Gods were dragging clouds heavy as stones.

"Before," Airplane waved at the scenery in general, and it didn't need much for Shen Yuan to catch what he meant. "I mean, I didn't participate in any of the big conventions they invited me, but..."

Shen Yuan hummed, head tilted to the side, imagining how would he react if he ever met Airplane under other circumstances. It would have been disastrous for sure, both of them struggling with the different challenges of a world without flying swords and demons. Would they even be friends? Probably not. Shen Yuan had spent so much of his time stuck on his own head, going from doctor after doctor, too bitter to enjoy nice things, dedicating his whole life on hating a poorly written book. And from other conversations, he knew that Airplane had been bitter as well, sacrificing his words and his world in the name of the next meal, the next rent.

"I don't see how," he reached for his cup of tea, heating up his cold hands against the warm porcelain. "Like you said, you never went to the conventions. I didn't either, to be honest. Too many people."

Shang Qinghua nodded slowly as he filled his lungs with smoke, letting it go through his nose. Shen Yuan waited for a bit longer, curious to see where Airplane wanted to get with his question. He was almost picking up the story again when-

"I was just..." He started as he put his pipe down to comb his hair with his fingers, putting the strands behind his ears. Another big change from when they had passed their mantle to the next generation: Airplane had started to wear his hair down, Northern braids adorning the sides of his head, silver beads glittering among chocolate brown. "Is the book good?"

The sudden change of topic made Shen Yuan blink. However, it wasn't as if he weren't used to Airplane's mind jumping around, so he just took it in stride, nodding slowly.

"I enjoyed how you developed the main character relationship with his old master, although I still think you should stop killing mothers left and right."

Airplane couldn't help but chuckle, his smile making his eyes curve into half moons.

"Leave some tropes for me to work with, bro, there's so much this poor writer can come up with!"

Shen Yuan could only roll his eyes at the other, picking up the book once more, touching the pages without actually reading it, just enjoying the feeling of paper on his hands.

"Well, it is an improvement. And as always your beasts are impeccable, I'll give you that."

And he regretted immediately the compliment when Airplane dramatically clutched his robes, pretending to faint. The little shit.

"Oh! Oh praised be the Heavens! A compliment from the immovable Peerless Cucumber! Oh my heart! My heaaart-"

Shen Yuan did his best to hold back his frustration and just throw his fan at the writer. Good thing that Airplane calmed down again, chin up so he could stare at the top of the bamboo trees outside. Only then Shen Yuan realized that the entire time Airplane hadn't looked at him.

He felt an uncomfortable weight in his stomach, heart squeezing tight.

"Are you going to tell me what is this about?"

Airplane took a long drag of his pipe, bending his head back a bit further to blow little circles in the air. He should be thankful that Shen Yuan had worked on his patience in the past decades, or he would have been hit with a fan already.

"I was thinking of your first review for Proud Immortal Demon Way," he said as he tapped the pipe on a little vase Shen Yuan had offered him earlier to use as ashtray. "You were so mean... I couldn't write for like two days."

They had commented about their forum fights before, they have even apologized for some things they had said to each other back then, but Airplane had never-

The thought of hurting him so bad to the point of making him give up on writing was-

"Huang Hua..." He whispered as he took the writer's hand close to him, brushing his thumb over the callous on his forefinger.

"Don't look at me like that, bro... Don't mind me, I'm just-" he cut himself off with a sigh, squeezing Shen Yuan's hand back. "I've been in a weird mood that's all."

Shen Yuan understood, he understood a bit too well. For all they enjoyed the benefits of magic and cultivation, they weren't meant for this immortal world, Huang Hua and him, human beings who had always had a clock ticking over their heads. He would get stuck on his own head, too, sometimes; making Binghe walk around him with soft steps and prepare his favorite foods.

He loved his husband food more than anything blessed be Airplane for deciding to make the main protagonist a good cook.

But Binghe couldn't prepare him a burger the size of his head with golden french fries.

"Well, I think the new book is going great. And to answer your question, well-" Then it was Shen Yuan's turn to pause, trying to imagine how their meeting in the real world would go. Poorly, for sure, but also... Shen Yuan was old enough, wise enough to admit that if he knew Airplane's struggles, he would probably have helped. He had been so rash in his comments because he had seen the potential, the grandeur of Airplane's mind, while describing the fauna and flora of Proud Immortal Demon Way.

"I don't know, I think if we had met, we wouldn't become friends," he admitted with a shrug, keeping his face towards the forest, feeling his cheeks burning. "I was... I was going through a lot and you had your own problems too. But depending on the day I might would have asked for an autograph." And what an embarrassing thing to admit. And while holding Airplane's hand nonetheless! Muscle memory made him take his fan and snap it open, the sound muffling Airplane's giggles.

"Well, I can't autograph your Binghe body pillow-"

"Shut up it was a collectable item!"

"- but I can autograph this copy if you want." and then he tapped the book on the table with his pipe, Shen Yuan's eyes going wide as plates.

"What?"

"I had to change a lot of things... Mostly the names and places, but-" Airplane nervously played with his hair, stealing glances at Shen Yuan's direction. "I thought, now that everything is kinda over, why not write it properly, right? Besides, the entire Proud Immortal Demon Way had never had a beta reader, although I thought about asking you sometimes way back but uh-"

"I've could have been your beta reader?!"

"Well, yes, in a way you kinda were- wait. Haven't you noticed?" Airplane let go of his hair to turn his entire body to Shen Yuan, surprise written all over his face. "Bro, you're the only person I answered more than once on the forums. Most of the time I couldn't take your ideas and use them, that would be insane and asking for a lawsuit, but when you gave me writing advice? Or when I needed to remember which wife was which or who had died? I used your comments to remember what had been happening in the last chapters."

Shen Yuan's hands got tingling all over, his face heating up to the point of boiling. He had always thought Airplane had despised him, and it was with reason. He knew he had been a hater, to the point of Airplane remembering his name after years, but he had never known that Airplane actually had paid attention, he had actually-

Wait, rewind, write what properly-

"Hold on, you're telling me that-" he picked the book again, scanning the first page and then the second, recognition downing upon him. It had felt familiar when he read it for the first time, but he had thought it was just him being used to Airplane's stories. But this...

"Proud Demon Immortal Way could have been this good?" He gasped as he turned to stare at the author, shaking the book on his hand. To which Airplane had the audacity to shrug, light pink dusting his cheeks.

"Told you many times, Bro. No time to edits, had to pay the bills."

"Airplane, how many drafts you wrote before posting that monstrosity?"

"Uh." He turned his face away again, scratching the back of his neck, then his cheek. "I mean I didn't have a draft. I wrote it down in one sitting most of the time-"

Shen Yuan was going to pass out. No wonder the story made no sense most of the times! And he still was able to follow some type of plot?!

During their lifes as cultivators, Shen Yuan faced many situations in which Airplane had his turn to shine. He might not be aware of it, oblivious writer that he was, but he could be insanely smart and think fast enough to avoid wars between tribes that any other person would fumble and make it worse. So he knew how intelligent and smart Airplane was, although he wouldn't straight up compliment him like that.

But this... Six thousand six hundred and sixty-six chapters with no draft or beta reader? This... Was insane.

"You better honor Shen Qingqiu's past this time," he heard himself say, mouth moving before his brain could catch up. And funny enough, he had mean it. "You better give him closure so I can at least glare at Yue Qingyuan without feeling guilty."

This time Airplane threw his head back and laughed, hand over his belly, the other tapping the table. Then he turned to look at Shen Yuan with his sly fox smile, forefinger moving side to side.

"Nonono, I'm sorry, bro. I'm not writing to make the readers happy this time," he said with a sharp nod, tapping his fingers against his temple. "There's a story to be told, and I'm not gonna mess up a second time."

And Shen Yuan felt as if he should be angry, he should shake Airplane by his shoulders and scream, but at the same time... He felt like Airplane had passed his test, one he wasn't aware he had set for the other.

He huffed, sliding the book over the table until it was closer to the author, opening the first page.

"You better think of a hell of dedicatory then," he said as he got up to pick writing materials, warmth spreading through his chest to the sound of Airplane's laughter.

--------

Shen Yuan is going to find out some things about Binghe and Mobei in the book lol

Again, thank you for giving it a read!

See you next time~

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hii,

I am writing a story with a female lead. She is going to go through a self discovery arc in which she explores her sexuality. I want to jump back and forth in timeline to when she’s a teenager and doesn’t realize she is queer (and in love with her best friend) but i am having a hard time figuring out how to show she is queer without telling (bc it’s from her pov). Any advice or thoughts?

Showing Queer Identity: Tips for Writing Self-Discovery Arcs

Hey there, fellow writer! 💖✨

First off, I want to say how awesome it is that you're tackling such an important and nuanced topic in your story. Self-discovery arcs, especially those involving sexuality, can be incredibly powerful and relatable for so many readers. It's fantastic that you're putting thought into how to present this journey authentically!

Now, let me dive into the meat of your question: how to show your character's queerness without explicitly telling, especially when she doesn't yet realize it herself. This is a challenge many writers face, and I'm excited to share some thoughts and techniques that might help you navigate this delicate balance.

Showing vs. Telling in Sexuality Representation

The age-old writing advice of "show, don't tell" becomes particularly crucial when dealing with a character's sexuality, especially in a coming-of-age or self-discovery narrative. It's about creating a tapestry of moments, feelings, and interactions that hint at the character's true nature without spelling it out for the reader (or the character herself).

(I have an entire post on Prose Tips with Show, Don't Tell. And another one where Telling Is Better Used Instead of Showing)

Here are some ways you can subtly show your character's queerness:

Physical Reactions: Pay attention to how your character's body responds to her best friend or other girls. Does her heart race? Do her palms get sweaty? Does she blush or feel a flutter in her stomach? These physical reactions can be powerful indicators of attraction, even if the character doesn't recognize them as such.

Lingering Gazes: Describe how your character looks at her best friend or other girls. Does she notice small details about them? Does her gaze linger on lips, hands, or other features? This can be a subtle way to show attraction.

Comparisons and Contrasts: Have your character compare her feelings for her best friend to her feelings for boys. She might notice that she feels more comfortable, excited, or "herself" around her friend than with male love interests.

Dreams and Daydreams: Use your character's subconscious to hint at her true feelings. She might have dreams about her best friend that leave her feeling confused or flustered upon waking.

Jealousy: Show your character feeling inexplicably upset when her best friend spends time with others, especially potential romantic interests.

Admiration vs. Attraction: Your character might think she's just admiring other girls' appearances or personalities, not realizing it's actually attraction.

Discomfort with Heteronormative Expectations: Show her feeling uncomfortable or out of place in typical heterosexual dating scenarios or discussions about boys.

Intense Emotional Connections: Highlight the depth of her emotional bond with her best friend, showing how it goes beyond typical friendship.

Personal Thoughts and Advice

As someone who's written queer characters and explored sexuality in my own work, I can't stress enough how important it is to approach this topic with sensitivity and authenticity. It's not just about representing sexuality; it's about capturing the complex emotions, confusion, and eventual self-realization that come with discovering one's identity.

One technique I've found particularly effective is to focus on the emotional journey rather than the physical aspects of sexuality. Especially for a young character who hasn't yet realized she's queer, the emphasis should be on her feelings, her confusions, and her gradual understanding of herself.

Remember, sexuality is a spectrum, and coming out to oneself is often a process, not a sudden realization. Your character might go through phases of denial, curiosity, experimentation, and finally acceptance. Each of these stages provides rich opportunities for character development and storytelling.

Unique Tips for Showing Sexuality in Writing

Use Metaphors and Symbolism: Incorporate imagery that subtly reflects your character's emerging sexuality. For example, use blooming flowers or changing seasons to mirror her personal growth.

Contrast with Heterosexual Experiences: If your character dates boys, show how these experiences feel different (and perhaps less fulfilling) compared to her interactions with girls.

Pop Culture References: Have your character relate strongly to queer characters in movies or books without fully understanding why.

Physical Proximity: Describe how your character seeks out physical closeness with her best friend - sitting close together, finding excuses to touch, etc.

Internal Monologue: Use your character's thoughts to show her confusion. She might question why she feels so strongly about her friend or why she's not interested in boys like her other friends are.

Microexpressions: Describe tiny facial expressions or body language cues that betray your character's true feelings, even if she's not aware of them.

Avoidance Behavior: Show your character avoiding situations that might force her to confront her sexuality, like setting up her friend with boys or talking about crushes.

Mirror Scenes: Create parallel scenes in different timelines to show how your character's understanding of herself has evolved.

Navigating the Timeline Jumps

Your idea of jumping back and forth in the timeline is brilliant for this kind of story. It allows you to contrast your character's oblivious teenage self with her more self-aware adult version. Here are some tips for making the most of this structure:

Echoes and Parallels: Create situations in the past that echo or parallel events in the present, highlighting how your character's understanding has changed.

Dramatic Irony: Use the reader's knowledge of the character's future to create tension and poignancy in the past scenes.

Evolving Language: Show how the language your character uses to describe her feelings changes over time, reflecting her growing self-awareness.

Physical Changes: Use descriptions of physical changes (hairstyles, fashion choices, etc.) to quickly orientate the reader in different time periods.

Pivotal Moments: Identify key moments in your character's journey and use these as anchors for your timeline jumps.

The Importance of Authenticity

When writing about sexuality, especially from a perspective different from your own, research and sensitivity are crucial. Consider reaching out to LGBTQ+ organizations or individuals who are willing to share their experiences. Reading coming out stories and queer literature can also provide valuable insights.

Remember, every person's journey with their sexuality is unique. While there are common experiences, avoid falling into stereotypes or oversimplification. Your character's story should feel genuine and personal.

Balancing Subtlety and Clarity

One of the biggest challenges in showing rather than telling sexuality is finding the right balance between subtlety and clarity. You want to drop enough hints for the reader to pick up on, but not so many that it becomes obvious to everyone except your character.

A good rule of thumb is to make the signs clear enough that a queer reader or someone familiar with the coming out experience would pick up on them, but subtle enough that someone without that perspective might miss them – much like how your character is missing them herself.

The Power of Supporting Characters

Don't forget the role that supporting characters can play in showing your main character's sexuality. Friends, family members, or even strangers might notice things about your character that she doesn't see in herself. Their reactions, comments, or questions can be powerful tools for indicating to the reader what's going on, even if the main character remains oblivious.

Addressing Internalized Homophobia

Depending on your character's background and the setting of your story, you might want to explore themes of internalized homophobia. This can manifest as your character actively pushing away thoughts or feelings that don't align with heteronormative expectations. Showing this internal struggle can add depth to your character's journey and make her eventual self-discovery even more powerful.

The Journey of Self-Discovery

Remember that realizing one's sexuality is often a gradual process. Your character might have moments of almost-realization followed by retreat into denial. These back-and-forth moments can create tension and keep the reader engaged in your character's journey.

As your character grows and changes, you can show her becoming more comfortable with herself in subtle ways – perhaps she becomes more confident, more authentic in her interactions, or more willing to stand up for herself and others.

——————————————————————————————————

Writing about sexuality, especially from the perspective of a character who hasn't yet realized their own identity, is a delicate but rewarding challenge.

Remember, the key is to weave these elements naturally into your narrative. Don't force it – let your character's experiences and emotions guide the story. Trust your readers to pick up on the subtle cues you're laying down.

I hope these ideas and tips help you in crafting your story. Remember, every writer's approach is different, and what works for one story might not work for another. Trust your instincts, stay true to your character, and don't be afraid to revise and refine as you go.

Writing about sexuality and self-discovery is not just about representation – it's about creating stories that can help readers understand themselves and others better. Your story has the potential to be a light for someone struggling with their own identity, or a window for others to understand experiences different from their own.

As you write, keep in mind the impact your words might have. Approach the topic with sensitivity, respect, and an open heart. Your character's journey of self-discovery is a beautiful and important story to tell.

Final Thoughts and Encouragement

Writing about sexuality, especially in a coming-of-age context, can be challenging but incredibly rewarding. Here are some final thoughts to keep in mind as you work on your story:

Authenticity is Key: Stay true to your character's voice and experiences. Even if you're writing from a perspective different from your own, strive for authenticity in emotions and reactions.

Embrace Complexity: Sexuality is complex and often fluid. Don't be afraid to show the messy, confusing aspects of your character's journey.

Avoid Stereotypes: While some common experiences exist in the queer community, try to avoid relying on stereotypes. Make your character unique and three-dimensional.

Consider Intersectionality: Your character's sexuality doesn't exist in a vacuum. Consider how it intersects with other aspects of her identity, such as race, class, or religion.

Show Growth: As your character becomes more aware of her sexuality, show how this knowledge impacts other areas of her life and relationships.

Be Patient: Writing about such personal topics can be emotionally demanding. Be patient with yourself and take breaks when needed.

Seek Feedback: If possible, get feedback from sensitivity readers or members of the LGBTQ+ community to ensure your portrayal is respectful and accurate.

Remember, your story has the power to touch lives, open minds, and maybe even help someone on their own journey of self-discovery. It's a beautiful responsibility, and I'm excited for you to embark on this writing adventure!

Keep writing, keep exploring, and most importantly, keep being true to your characters and your story. You've got this! 💖🌈✨

If you have any more questions or need further advice as you write, don't hesitate to reach out.

Happy writing!📝🎉- Rin T.

Before you go, why not join us at The Write Right Society? We're a supportive Tumblr community where writers lift each other up. Whether you're a newbie or a pro, we'd love to have you! Share your work, get feedback, and connect with fellow wordsmiths, writers and aspiring authors. 

[writingicing]

Been reading a lot of posts about how much the ML in When the Phone Rings is too toxic and unromantic and how can he possibly not have learnt sign language if he loved her all this time and all of that... and here is what I think.

I haven't read the book, and although I did see some spoilers, the show might change things up a bit (and as far as we have seen, the changes made in the show has been for the better.) But, I think before judging him for being too toxic, a couple of things need to be considered.

I mean, what's the genre, guys, come on -

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but the whole point of such a story and such a show is to write weird, dark, toxic characters who are fucked up. People aren't finding his not knowing sign language as romantic because to some extent, people are just letting themselves get lost in the story and experience it first.

If that is like a genuine trigger for someone, that is completely understandable. But on the other hand, can't imagine having a stance of only watching perfectly good non-toxic politically correct characters on screen - is that not boring?

And that is the point - he is fucked up.

The way I see it, it makes sense that he has not learned sign language to communicate with. Like others have been posting, I don't think he intended to ever have a proper relationship with her.

We have only seen hong hee joo's backstory and we've only seen some of it, but because of this we have an understanding of her behavior and where it comes from.

Don't we at least owe that to baek sa eon as well?

People who are fucked in the head don't always know how to love someone best. And that's okay. I don't think that the drama is saying, "hey look we are going to romanticize another husband who won't get his shit together until his wife threatens to leave him." I think the drama is trying to say, "hey, look at both of these fucked up people who have spent so many years together refusing to communicate with each other and refusing to open up."

I find that to be one of the most interesting parts of the show actually - that BOTH of them have refused to open up to each other. She hasn't opened to him in the way she hasn't opened up to ANYONE because her mother forced her to go mute and took her agency away... her mother took her right to being herself away from her, and so she is as much fucked up as he is.

And for him, it seems like his own right to be himself has been taken away as well.

While it is absurd that he hasn't attempted to learn sign language until now, I think this dialogue gives a lot of insight into how he views her in her life: "She is a brand new language."

When you don't know who you are, when you don't know how to love, when you don't know how to receive love, when you are only a fraction of your own self, would you really learn a new language? You might have that book on your shelf... it might give you comfort... it might even give you hope that you will pick it up one day to learn it... but there might still be fear within you to commit, to put effort, to approach something as scary as learning a new language (and I don't just mean sign language, but hong hee joo herself.)

Is he objectifying her in a way? Yes, he is. But he is living an objectified life as well. This is his normal, this is the worldview that he has been taught, and nothing ever has given him the hope that taking a step, a risk, will lead him to something good.

And that is exactly what is finally happening right now. I don't think he's even seen her emote, let alone resist - I mean, he seems surprised to see her angry, to see her cry, to see her make noises, to see her be so confident in her skillset, to see her challenge him. I don't think either of them have ever had stupid playful annoying moments like switching the light on and off, her stealing back her pillow from under his head, them having a tug of war with the trash bag. They have never experienced each other this way and he has especially never experienced her in this way. I don't think he has experienced anyone in this way.

So yeah, he didn't learn it before. But the best way to bridge a communication gap is to reach across it yourself. I don't even know if he's realizing it, but to pay for her dad's new care home is taking power away from her mother....to tell her she needs to stop thinking about what their family will say and go get a job next to him, publicly showing herself right by his side as his EQUAL (not just his trophy wife, mind you) when their family has been asking her to quit her job... to bring her favorite food and telling her comforting words to the best of his abilities... to defend her worth to a random kidnapper bitch... all of this is his way of reaching across that gap himself. And now she is reciprocating, she has accepted that job and she is going to teach him how to communicate with her... she is going to teach him how to learn and understand HER, who is a brand new language for him.

And yeah, alright, maybe he didn't reach across that gap until her safety was actually threatened. But sometimes, when you're so numb to yourself and to the world around you, you need cold water splashed on your face, you need an explosion by your ears to wake you up. Maybe he needed this rude awakening as not only a warning, but a sign that he can indeed go ahead and make a connection with her. That she is real and she won't hurt him, and that he can maybe even trust himself not to hurt her.

Not everyone is perfect, not everyone is created with only green flag qualities. And hong hee joo never has to forgive him, she doesn't have to do anything - but no one can deny that she can forgive if he has earned her forgiveness.

[mit0bee]

Twisted Wonderland boys sharing a tent with you!

Part 2 will come eventually probably most likely

Stuff you should read: Romantic intent! Was supposed to be bulleted but i got lazy, Setting is set in Camp Vargas 1/2 even though i havent actually read CV1 and im only on book 1 of CV2 *cries* leona favouritism because i didnt realise how long writing an entire events drabble would take, sleeping on the floor because i have never camped before and the idea of figuring out how this would work with sleeping bags makes me want to do bad things

Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Malleus Draconia, Azul Ashengrotto, Lilia Vanrouge

(count how many times melora uses the word exhaustion challenge, go!)

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

After thanking Ruggie and Epel for their help setting up yours and Leona's tent, it was time to help everyone else, so that the Spelldrive Club wouldn't get chewed out by Vargas.

Well… That's what you had in mind, before Leona pulled you down to the grass with him, ordering saying you should relax with him.

“Oi. Come sit down with me.”

“Leona, I have to help everyone else get set up.”

“They'll be fine without you. Now, come sit.”

Helping them would have to wait for whatever else was in store.

Once the first event was announced, and the three objectives were set, you were determined to help the Spelldrive Club at least a little. Pulling yourself from Leona, you decided to follow Ruggie and Epel through each objective.

After an exhausting 3 objectives, night had come, and everyone in the Spelldrive Club were relaxing by the campfire. Whether they be sharing stories, or cracking jokes, everyone was fairly lively for having just gone through the ringer. Everyone except Leona, A.K.A. the only one who didn't do anything, that is. He had his head resting on yours, half-asleep.

Ruggie was actually the one to point out that you two should go to bed, stating that you looked like hell, and that Leona was already snoozin'. So, you practically dragged Leona from the campfire, saying goodnight to Epel and Ruggie, and finally went to the confines of your tent.

Once you got in the tent, and got decently comfortable, Leona, who by this point was already asleep, attached himself to your back like a leech.

“….ve you.”

“Leo? Did you say something?”

“No. Go t' bed, Herbivore.”

he totally said ily then got to shy to admit it in his borderline sleeping state.

i love him

ok so i didnt realize how long these end up being sooooo the rest are gonna be just the tent shenanigans *sighs*

MALLEUS DRACONIA

Once you two got into the tent, you couldn't help but sit down with a sigh. Even though you two were part of an art club, it felt as if Vargas was just as hard on you as he was on the sports clubs.

“Child of Man, is something wrong? You seem down.”

You answered him with another sigh, “It's nothing. Today was just a little tough, is all.”

Malleus sat next to you, opening his arms, “Why don't we lay together, then? You seem to always feel better afterwards.”

Your face would light up ever so slightly, crawling from your spot and into his arms as he laid down. Your head was next to his chest, and you could easily feel his calm heartbeat through his attire. Eventually it was enough to lull you into a light slumber, yet through the drowsiness, you could feel Malleus' lips on your head with a few soft words.

“Goodnight, Child of Man. I love you.”

I AM SO IN LOVE

AZUL ASHENGROTTO

Out of the two of you, Azul was the one to cave into exhaustion first. He practically flopped onto the tent floor the second he walked in. He was a mess. His face was beet red, his breath ragged, and he couldn't stand the thought of staying awake a single second longer.

With the last ounce of energy he had left, he grabbed your hand as he went down, pulling you with him.

“Wuh- Azul!”

“[Name]...” He groaned. Obviously the soreness and drowsiness was getting to him, “'m so tired.” He wrapped his arms around you, groaning again, “Let's sleep now.”

You slowly wrapped your arms around him, chuckling, “Okay. Goodnight, Azul.”

“Mmn. Night.”

You didn't see him this tired very often, but it seemed you'd have to find a way to see him like this again.

“[Name]!!! Azul! Look at this cool stone I found! +20 MP!”

Oh lord......

LILIA VANROUGE

Lilia was, surprisingly, nowhere near tired, even though he was decrepit. So, when you were sat at the campfire with the rest of the pop music club with your head on his shoulder, he chuckled.

"My. Are you falling asleep, [Name]?"

You shook your head insistently, "No. 'm not tired, just resting my eyes, is all."

You could practically see him laughing through your closed eyes, "Uh huh. Wise words from an old man such as myself; I can tell when someone is falling asleep. Oftentimes that person should go to bed."

You pulled yourself from dreamland and opened your eyes, "No, I'm awake. See? I was just resting m' eyes."

"More wise words; Fae can tell when humans lie."

Kalim gasped, "Wha?! Seriously?! That's so cool!"

Cater agreed, much to your chagrin, "You could totally be put on those lie detector shows! Those ones where they ask those suuuper toxic couples questions about each other!"

"Mmn. Is that true, Lilia?" You looked over to him. He had a minor habit of telling you something to prove a point , then taking it back.

He nodded, "Mhm. So we should get to bed, right?"

You slowly nodded. As much as you could deny it, nothing could get past Lilia the Lie Detector. You stood up while rubbing your eyes. Lilia waved goodbye to his club members, retreating with you to your tent.

The second your head hit the pillow that Vargas had so kindly given the arts groups, you were asleep. Lilia gazed upon your sleeping form, smiling softly. Fae couldn't actually detect lies, but you didnt need to know that. All you needed to know was that he knew you very well. You two were together, after all.

He laid next to you, admiring you, and how your body rose and fell with each calm breath, and how your hair fell to frame your face beautifully, and especially the drool trickling from your mouth already.

He would definitely have to tease tell you about that tomorrow.

AAAHHHHHHH FIRST EVER POST!!! Did you guys like it? I'm hoping to write some more in the future, including a second post to this one! currently, sebek, jack, and floyd kinda have a chokehold on me so they'll probably be in the second part! --------------- m.list @mit0ee 's work, please do not steal!

[melliemell]

AAA OK, requesting Fyodor x his Mexican girlfriend, and how'd he'd spoil her, treating her like a princess. Mixing that with his Russian culture, And sharing cultural traditions/behavior and food,

I hope you like it! this was a wild ride of figuring out fyodor's character better

Fyodor Spoiling his Lover HC

The thing is… Fyodor’s emotions are a heavily guarded thing. He’s very unlikely to let his guard down enough to actually feel romantic emotions, instead opting for control of the situation to the smallest detail.

Man’s obsessed with predictability. Emotions are certainly anything but that.

Having said that, if Fyodor finds you of any convenience for his plans, well, he is completely willing to play the role of a loving partner far beyond your expectations.

Get prepared for chaos unleashed, babe.

Fyodor’s sense of normal human behaviour has long been discarded somewhere in between the centuries of his long life. And he does have a flare for the dramatic at times, so you’ll have to excuse him if he considers buying out an entire restaurant for your night out to be within reasonable etiquette. 

“A quiet, peaceful place to spend time with you is very dear to me, although I do apologize if it’s a bit over the top,” he’d say, smile in place as he regarded you with no true remorse whatsoever. Maybe a bouquet of flowers would win you over; he’d try to be more reasonable with that… this time.

And let’s never forget that statement from Asagiri that Fyodor’s the type to buy an entire country for his sweetheart. He’s generous like that. 

Fyodor’s quite traditional in his courting as well. He’s aware that it’s expected of the man in the relationship to take care of his partner; all the way from providing for them to ensuring protection (and he does have to be mindful of that, knowing how many people want him dead in particular). 

Fyodor’s a man of constant planning and action so staying in one place is rarely ideal. And keeping someone satisfied when you can’t be around them often enough brings about a challenge. So in comes his quite mindful gift-giving.

You see, he’s gotten very good at observing people to the point it’s barely any effort to understand their inner workings and desires. The moment he has you pinned down as an individual–he’d do and say exactly what you want of him just so he can have you wrapped nicely around his finger as you fall harder for him. 

Fyodor’d be perfect… until the moment you’ve run out of use for him. The mask would fall very quickly and with no remorse behind it. 

Unless…

Here’s the deal–Fyodor is a very tough nut to crack. Sorting through all the layers of deception and perfectly built walls of indifference will be one of the hardest things to pull off. 

But the man under all that would be so worth it. The loneliness that’s bound to reside within him would be the saddest thing to finally lay your eyes upon.

It’s likely you’ll barely even notice you’ve managed to get him smitten.

He won’t indicate in any way something has changed at first, being his normal self and keeping up the princess treatment as a safety measure.

But he’ll find himself coming up with more and more plans for getting you to move around with him. There will be notes of a possessive streak there, like trying to keep your favourite toy with you everywhere; that’s definitely what Fyodor’d be telling himself at least.

He’ll be quite unsure why he’d feel the need to call you sweet things in his mother tongue. It is certainly a romantic gesture, yes, but it had never crossed his mind before? But the sound of it now felt pleasant to his ears and seeing your confused but still smiling face every time brought an unexpected warmth to his chest. He’d hold onto it for hours, staring off at the ceiling instead of his computers. Just… thinking. 

Like opening a door to his inner world; the things that brought him some sense of familiar comfort. 

It won’t be long before he has you in the kitchen, trying his best to at least make you remember maybe one of his soup recipes from home. Extremely patient about the whole process, not really caring if it ends up botchered. So long as he keeps getting that same feeling of warmth inside.

Won’t even bat an eye if you tell him you miss home. Would find a way to readjust both of your schedules (you have the exact same one at this point, he’s not even ashamed) so you’d be flying back in no time. Rest is good for the mind after all.

Be warned–this man is not built for warm weather. Fyodor’s one afternoon walk away from a literal heat stroke. Mindfulness is cautioned.

Mexico has not been one of his typical destinations, but he’d be quite appreciative of the openness of the people there. 

Will absolutely not leave you out of his sight though, no matter what. Unfamiliar places are best left explored with caution, even if you reassure him you’d probably not have any problems here. He’d only nod understandingly, completely intending on doing as he planned either way.

Man’s stubborn, can’t change that.

So long as you went unaware of a few things here and there–all was going to be good. He’d sooner blow an entire nation up than let anything happen to you.

[astracora]

Turning Point - Part 6

Characters: Poly!LADs x gn!mc

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Angst, Loss of Arm, Lots of emotional struggle with disability, mentions for Zayne's backstory, very small Zayne foreseer mentions.

Word Count: 5281

Written: 14th January 2025

Notes: Pre-relationship with gn!MC with all LADs, with my personal pov of the game and lil headcanons littered in. Unnamed MC, but using my personal MC's basic appearance and adjusted backstory. I take some liberties with what the game offers me. Sorry to Zayne, but you break my heart (and the game punishes you so much, so I have to do a lil bit too). So this one took a while, because the active start of them having a conversation about Poly, actually busted my brain up for a little while. Especially cause you can't exactly have the real convo until the other participating (or not) party is there. I'm hoping my Caleb brainrot has left me alone enough that I can actually focus on this damned fic again without thinking about mr tall, dark and in need of a slap (affectionate... maybe). Anyway, have at ye! Enjoy (I hope!)!

Now Playing: Good Enough, By Lø Spirit

Masterlist AO3

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He has had to adapt to many things, Zayne finds himself thinking on his morning run. He has lived his life in many roles, and with many surprises or struggles thrown at him to handle.

His time as a combat medic, taught him above all else, how to survive, and improvise. How to keep himself and others moving forwards. Even when the nightmares, and the grief of Mt Eternal haunted him.

His struggles to control his EVOL, taught him control. The values of a level head, ways to ease himself down to a steady crawl. He was a healer, he would not hurt anyone because he failed to keep himself in check. Even when he was called cold, or misunderstood as not having as warm a heart as a person can.

Leaving after injuring you with something he could not control, the goal to understand your heart more than anyone else could. The long nights of study, the lack of socialisation, the time spent pouring over books. Desperate for an answer. Taught him commitment and drive. To save you, to be the one who could pull you back from the edge. The person he cared most about in the world.

Leaving him isolated and tired, but closer to his goal.

Zayne has overcome every challenge handed to him, because he has to see his goal through.

He has to see the jasmine bloom.

So, he has experience dealing with things outside of his control and his knowledge. Of finding a way forwards. Surviving or excelling.

He likes to think the current series of events… well he's handling it.

Even if he is hitting the path a little harder with every step. Rushing through his usual route, like he's outrunning something. He's handling it.

"Z-Zayne!" Your call slows his feet, halts him. He looks back to see you bent over, breathing heavily, gasping.

Months away from training, had rusted you a little. Left you stumbling after where you originally could have overtaken him. The regret and irritation at himself bites, so he pushes it down.

Move forwards, always move forwards.

It is almost autopilot that takes him over when you're injured, or unwell. An instinct that pulls his body into routines to heal and ease. As he gets you to a bench to sit, and rest, he checks your heart.

"I'm" You gasp, pushing his hand gently away from where he is looking for your pulse, "Fine, just pushed too hard."

There's a moment where he debates ignoring you. You've lied to him that you're fine before. Haven't shared when you needed help. Have hidden injuries. Avoiding telling him the truth with things such as colds.

Then he thinks about that morning, putting his trainers on. Ignoring the overgrown crow on the sofa who was talking on his phone. He'd heard all of a few words, 'keep him quiet' and had decided it was better to be ignorant to whatever Sylus was up to… Even if part of him wanted to take you somewhere else. Even if his mind was constantly screaming, trying to process everything. Lemurians, the N109 Zone, an immortal prince…

"Zayne?" You stand behind him, old jogging clothes on, fiddling with the toggles on your hoodie.

He stands up to focus on you. Taking in the livening to your eyes, the health returning to your face. His smile is uncontrolled, a natural reaction to your presence. An unnerving feeling of losing his handle on the reins.

A fall with no net.

It is addicting and terrifying all in one, to realise how easily you cut through thorned walls of deadly vines, that keep him under hand.

"What is it?" He manages, straightening the hem of his shirt. Grounding himself, something solid beneath his fingers. It is not as stabilising as your hand, but it is all he can grab without overstepping too many boundaries. One's he's unsure you will rescind, or be pleased to even allow him access past.

If all he ever is, is the man who mends your heart, then he will carry that with him in his own, eternally. Even if it does not beat for him.

"I'm allowed to start exercising again, would it be alright if I joined you? I won't slow you down too much, I promise." You hesitate, stepping up to the door to him, watching as though he'll close it on you.

Wary, scared.

He remembers a child staring back at him much the same. Worried he did not care for them. Worried that they were taking time he would rather have put somewhere else.

Nervous to take his hand, so you took Caleb's instead.

His hand itches, the thorn wall is thick. He knows it will slice his hand open if he reaches through it. The pain would be worth it, just like every stab of his ice is worth the moments he protects your back.

So much wasted time, and he still watches it waste. Still sees moments pass him, where he should be there. Watching, helping, caring.

He feels like a coward, however, because he's too scared to take the step. To walk through the thorned wall… because his pain means little…

Yours, however, he wishes to never cause again.

So he simply nods, pushing down the deep pit of yearning and desperation that wants him to show you every single scar, to allow your passage behind him.

He pulls his hand away from your wrist, assenting with your assurance that you're fine. But he cannot settle, not truly, so he tells you to wait. To sit, and breathe, and he leaves to find a place to buy you a drink.

The park he runs is a quiet place this early, he does not have to worry about the noise, or the crowds. He can run, and he can breathe and he can centre himself. He can grasp his own mind in his hands, and wrangle it. Every morning, the same process. Out, run, breathe, work, research, leave. Repeat.

He has lived his life in a strict routine that he does not break. Not until you.

It has broken even more with the night he turned up to your door, met the other three men in your life, and stitched your open wounds.

It is like being woken with ice cold water in your face, or to the sound of the walls falling down around you. Trembling the foundations.

What was once an absent acceptance of the possible future he could see, has become a solid path he can watch you walking down. Leaving someone who can only hurt you behind. In favour of those who do not have to fight every part of their soul to leave scars.

It is not grief, not really, to watch a future you never believed you could have, disappear.

It's a natural progression of time. The daylight melting soft snowflakes. It is the inevitable.

Like you believe the waiting bomb in your chest is. Unavoidable. He hopes to overturn such a thing, to reach through the thorns long enough to watch your future strengthen into something bright and blinding. Even if they shut afterwards. An inescapable prison, frozen over and forgotten.

His life is a tool to help others, to help you. He has watched his parents follow that path, he has no problems watching himself do so…

Even though they have each other, and even though he yearns to have you.

The cold acceptance is an easy feeling to hold. He's held it for years.

When Zayne returns to you, a bottle of water in hand, he watches your nose wrinkle. "It's cold, and all I get is some water."

He feels the sigh escape him, long suffering, used to the cavalier way you handle your health. Like it doesn't matter, but as you stick your tongue out at him, metal fingers brushing his as you take the bottle from him, he cannot help but feel the warmth of a smile that you bring out with ease.

"I'm not supplying your caffeine addiction."

"I help supply your sugar problem." You pout and sniff, turning your head away as you gulp down long drafts. The sweat beading on your forehead draws his hand.

He absently watches himself place his hand there, the chill of his skin glittering in snowflakes, as he eases the heat from your face.

It is like watching through a hazy glass wall. His fingers twitching against heated skin, the way your eyes turn to his, wide before they narrow, head tilting into his touch as the ice settles over you.

You feel too warm, and his other hand joins the first, skirting over cheeks, seeking out the heat. Drifting over your neck, to the pulse point. It skips under gentle fingers, and his fingers twitch. Just a little. Right over where your heart thrums.

Its odd beat and uneven rhythm, singing in a way he knows better than any other.

When you jump, at the feeling of the ice intensifying against your sensitive skin, he pulls back. Quick, schooling his expression. He isn't sure what his face speaks, but he knows you observe him too easily for it to be left in the open.

"Cooler?" He manages, forced through a tight throat and skin that feels like it burns where he touched you. There is a voice in his mind that urges him to reach out again, to hold your face in his hands and revel in the heat you bring to skin too often torn by cold.

A voice that often reminds him that he's happier to be cold, when he can warm himself at your fire.

He watches your throat work, like you're swallowing down something. He wonders, for a moment, if it's a complaint at his casual contact. A boundary he has overstepped. Before he watches your lip quirk, small smile coming through, as small and crooked as he remembers from childhood, but with sparkling eyes. "Much better, thank you Zayne."

Zayne can feel his routine falling out of his hands, everyday he spends with you, everyday in your apartment with men he does not really know.

He can feel the lack of control, the feeling of not knowing what to expect every day.

He watches the time he should spend running, chased away like the sun chases shadow. He watches you look out, as people enter the park. Families, dog walkers, those alone and with others.

The sun hits the side of your face, catching on a snowflake, melting on the tip of your nose. Showing him glittering mismatched eyes, and the teeth peeking out as you smile.

He leans back next to you, and watches the people pass.

"Gran used to bring me here." You speak, watching an old lady walking with her grandson. He pulls her forwards, and then stumbles, before the woman rights him. Tuts, pokes his nose, and they walk again. "Too much energy, I kept wearing her out. So she'd bring me so I could just… run. Caleb would try to keep up and couldn't."

Zayne thinks about what little time he did get to spend with you, he thinks about being dragged into every game you wanted to play, the excitement at everything new you found. He also remembers far too many containers full of bugs that you shoved in his face to look at. He remembers that you didn't always used to be scared.

Worried about breathing too much. Worried about how you spoke, how you acted. Worried about being too weak.

The day you learned about your heart, he knows you changed. He can see it still, in every time you brush off his concerns at the hospital, at the way you laugh at things you should hurt over. He can see it in how you don't stop, because if you stop, you flounder. You think. You start to slip.

He thinks about every single time you tell him it's not a problem. That you're fine.

It's a lie about your body… it's a lie about your heart.

He's watched so much of you crumble, and break, making yourself into a weapon useful to others. He's had to watch as you rush into battle, not able to follow, not able to help.

He has his own role, his own place, more people he has to save.

It does not make watching you leave any easier. It does not make him stop wanting to follow.

He is relieved for your partner, Xavier, knowing someone is there in most of your missions. Ready to stand at your back. Even if the… time traveling prince, he reminds himself, does not seem to care about his own health. 

He's spent so long watching as you refused to lean on others, scared to seek out help in case they found you too much work, and can see you struggling with the same thoughts with him.

With all four of them. Demanding you lean, does little, you simply laugh and tell him it is not a problem. 'If I get really hurt you'll see me, don't worry.' You've said.

It's a lie though, you didn't come to him when you were injured. The hospital did not inform him that you almost died. He did not know about the extent of what had been done to you, until you told him.

Until he broke through the boundaries of what a doctor should do, to find his way to your side, to look at every injury for himself.

He won't just be handed answers, and he's in no better spot than the other three. Standing at your door, seeking you out when your heart fractures on you, and you shut yourself away in pain you can't process. Feelings you don't understand.

Zayne knows when his feelings waver on the edge, unable to be grasped, hard to process or comprehend. He knows the negative, a haunting nightmare of regrets that do not leave him to rest, and he knows the positive, when his hands help soothe those who need his help.

He knows the name of one very distinct feeling, that is familiar and as dangerous as he can imagine. Something that ripples through every strand of control he demands to keep the cruelty of ice at bay.

He can place that feeling to the eyes that sparkle as you people watch, as you smile at a dog that trots past. As you turn to him, shackles around your body fallen away. Even for a moment.

When the feeling settles in his chest, and cuts a hole through the wall of thorns so that he can see out.

"We're not meant to be alone, I think places like this remind me of that."

You pull him from his thoughts, looking over at him with warm eyes, with your heart so visible in the gaze you offer, that his skips.

"I think I love it here."

He wants to tell you that he does too, because this moment, with your presence next to him, and the view of the world around him… he wishes was the future he could grasp with his hands.

Without the spear of ice.

—---

Zayne thinks he is handling this situation. He's sure of it.

Except every day gets a little harder.

It is the loud noises he's not used to from companions he isn't used to having.

It is the changes to his routine, and though he knows they are necessary, he feels fractured.

Out of control.

It is seeing those around him, moving forwards through a wall that he can't find the door for.

It's the day he is sat in the living room working, while Rafayel and Sylus have yet another argument, that he feels it rippling out.

You have left with Tara, promising you're ready. That it'll be alright.

He had watched the hesitation in everyone's eyes, before you had left.

It was the feeling he knows well, that every day you walk through that door, you may not come back.

Zayne does not want you to be confined to harsh walls. You are you, when you are living. Not just existing.

Xavier is lying on the sofa next to him, curled around a rabbit plushie you own.

He finds himself wondering why they all stay, in this space, when you're not here. Coming and going at will, but Xavier's apartment is above, and yet he stays here, in the spaces you have shaped.

Rafayel complains for the lack of beach, but he still walks around the place smiling, peeking at all of the things you own.

Sylus will hit his head on frames or cabinets, but he scoffed when you had suggested he should stay in the N109 Zone, out of concern.

Zayne could return to his space, but the space where you are is warm. Even if his routines have changed, and left him adrift.

It is as he watches the Lemurian fight with the Criminal, wondering at how you even met them, that he abandons his work… another action he could never have done, until meeting you.

"How long have you known them, Rafayel?"

It's a question that lurks at the edges of his mind, one that he does not ask because he worries for the answer and the boundary.

But the boundaries are fracturing, and the thorns are escaping, to rip through every day he does not hold to the strict order that he has set for himself.

The argument, if it can be called that when Sylus gains great joy from each of Rafayel's barbs, stops.

Eyes focus on him, and he vaguely can tell the sleeping prince has woken, barely looking up but aware.

Rafayel turns away, looking over at his canvas, "A while. Long enough for fish to learn to walk."

It's not an answer, not really. It feels more like evasion, like the way you back away from concern over your health, while still showing more than he thinks you notice.

It's the pain flickering through his eyes for a second, that Zayne has seen in family of grieving patients.

He doesn't want to poke at open wounds, at the cause of Rafayel's pain, that comes out into art you've shown him photos of.

Xavier mumbles something into his pillow, but when he receives only silence, he lifts his head, barely, to try again.

"Aren't you a walking fish?"

Rafayel laughs, a sharp bark rather than the kind Zayne has heard with you, "I learned to walk for cutie."

The prince shrugs in response and goes back to his pillow, but Zayne catches the sharp blue eyes. A question he's decided not to answer.

It's nothing he can learn without asking, and every man in this room holds things they won't share. Not with you, and not with Zayne.

He thinks of the ice spearing your chest.

Even him.

He instead asks something he hopes is easier, "What about you Xavier? You've worked with them for a while, have you not?"

He turns his head against the rabbit plushie, and peers at Zayne through silver bangs. Stares at him for a long time. Zayne does not feel fear at Sylus, the man doesn't actively harm unless necessary, 'violence should be used strategically', he's heard the man say when you try to throw something at him.

He sometimes finds Rafayel unsettling, at moments when the moon catches his eyes and they gleam like a deep sea beast. Yet he also doesn't think there's cause to watch his back… he thinks he can be believed to be moral enough to be certain of that.

Sometimes Xavier has a sharp look in his eyes, that feels like a blade cutting through the air. It is not actively harmful, he makes no means to hurt anyone that you care for, but it is like years have sharpened him down. To a point where he's as familiar with ice as Zayne is.

The look softens though, into his usual starry blue, "I came back to find them again." It's not a number, but Zayne can calculate it in his head. Hundreds of years searching, thinking and hoping.

It is one of those answers that unsettles him. Reminds him how at odds he feels surrounded by people so different to him. A man, amongst what amount to legends.

"You didn't ask me, Doctor." Sylus hums, twirling a knife around his fingers, the blade cuts through the air. It should look like a threat… but Zayne's learned the man has a leash he holds for you. Even if you cannot see it.

"I was getting there." He barely stops himself from rolling his eyes, exasperation sinking into his bones. He understands why Sylus and Rafayel fight… even if he keeps himself level enough to not bite back. It is not worth the bite of ice in return. "So?"

"I didn't hear a question."

This time he rubs at the space between his eyes.

"Do you have any friends, crow? Or does everyone find you this annoying?"

"Well now fish, I was giving you the affectionate package, there are no refunds."

"Can it be binned?" Xavier grumbles from the side.

"It's also only disposable in certain places, for the environment, you see."

Zayne thinks he hears the prince huff a laugh, but his face buries back into the pillow.

"How long?"

Sylus doesn't answer, but he leans back in his chair, one red eye flashing at Zayne for a moment, before he laughs. It is harsh, and biting, and his hackles raise. Leaning away with his laptop pushed forward. "You're trying to puzzle us out. Judge if your beloved patient is safe with us."

"I don't know-"

"Don't bother lying, it wastes all of our time. Not physically though, mhm?"

It's a cool hand down his back, even icier than his own. Like it's ready to tighten around his spine.

He has misjudged the criminal, as the red eye glows, and he leans further forward. "So Doctor, what is it you really want to know?"

Zayne isn't used to losing control. He has held it tight, kept it close. A protector as much as a punishment. His control slips, escaping in a haze of red, "Do you love them?"

Xavier's sword is extended at Sylus when the red filters away. Sharp blue and glowing light, who raises his hands calmly and leans back, "Calm down prince, just saving us time."

He gasps, the ice spreading over his hands, crawling up his arms. A hand is placed near him, a tiny flame extended as Rafayel eases the chill away. Slowly and carefully, it is not a balm to a wound like your resonance is. But it is welcome. He manages a thank you, chokes out, reigning it back. The man doesn't respond, shrugs, but his cheeks colour. As though helping brings great embarrassment.

"What did you do?"

"Just drew out some inner thoughts. If we'd have stayed as we were, he would have kept leading us around twenty questions. I'm a busy man."

"You spent three hours yesterday trying to teach that damn crow of yours how to sing happy birthday."

"He'll need it when Kitten gains a year."

"I'm fine." Zayne manages, easing away from the flame in Rafayel's palm as he wrestles everything back to its proper place. Back to where it should be. Back to where he should be. "Do not do that again."

He's surprised that Sylus tilts his head, looking down at his hands, a flicker of something in his eyes, "Provided it's not necessary, you have my word."

"Necessary?" Xavier scoffs, but settles back on the sofa, next to Zayne.

For a second, Zayne thinks of a knight, not a prince. But the thought is so embarrassing to hold in his head, that he pushes it down. He watches as the man brings his plushie back into his lap, but this time he does not slumber. Simply keeps watch.

Rafayel stays nearby, leaning back, but Zayne notices the way his eyes flicker down at Zayne's hands and away.

He is dangerous. To more than you. He cannot forget that for a moment.

"You want to know if we love them, why?"

It's not a question Zayne can answer. It's the kind of question that makes him want to bury himself in those thorns. If he affirms the thoughts in his mind, he makes them a reality he has to face.

Because he knows he can't?

Because he wants to…

Because he isn't sure where to go from here, with people who have crossed oceans and space for you.

Because he is out of control… and inadequate in all the ways that matter.

"Let's try a different question, how would you respond to a yes? Yes I do adore them, yes I do love them."

It is phrased like a rhetorical, but there's flames in the man's eyes. Like a dragon who has laid claim to a hoard. Like to even think to lie about such a thing, would hurt more than Xavier's sword in his chest.

"I-" What would he do? He has long accepted you following a path away from him, because your happiness is worth it. Knowing he can never hurt you again, is all he wants.

He can be your doctor. Just your doctor. Caring for your heart in at least one way.

"People like you really are interesting, Doctor. Shackles of your own making, keeping you standing where you think you should be. The kind of people that when pushed enough, snap." He can tell there's some amusement in the observation, like the process of pushing him would bring entertainment to the crime lord's life.

Zayne wants to rebuff him, to snap, that it's not his making… he thinks. He's not sure why he thinks it though. Still those scarlet eyes soften, into molten pools and he sighs, "You and kitten are similar. Putting yourselves into boxes that you can't leave. Scared to step outside and find you don't have a place."

The knife spins again, flipped up and caught by the blade between deft fingers, fearless at the idea of being nicked. "You should learn to step outside the box."

"Real cryptic, crow. I'm sure your advice column goes down great."

"It's not that easy." Xavier adds, looking over, "Hedonist." Sylus shrugs and doesn't debate it, whether he agrees with the label or not, Zayne isn't sure. "We're here, it's complicated."

"Is it?"

The response gives the prince pause. It's the surety. Like Sylus has no question for the path of his life.

Like he knows it will always lead to you, and beyond.

"Kitten doesn't run from me, unless they're hurting and nursing their wounds. They care for me, even if they don't have the words for the feeling. So I will be here, until they change their mind. No one else's presence stops or hinders that for me. I may be greedy, but I am not foolish. You do not take from their life, you add to it. To remove you, is to remove parts of them."

Rafayel looks away, "We shouldn't talk about this without them."

"You wish to spring this on them? When we have not discussed it ourselves? 'Ah, kitten, you're here. Pick a lover.'"

There's a growl in the back of the lemurian's throat, and as he leans forward, his hand catches on the side. Knocking a plate off, spilling the macarons Zayne had long forgotten. He catches it in hand, ice sticking it before it can spill contents onto the carpet.

Rafayel stops, looking over at Zayne, the anger trembling down into frustration before guilt takes its hold. He doesn't speak, just offers over one of the sweet treats quietly before Rafayel can speak.

He looks at it momentarily, cheeks flushing, then back at Zayne, and stuffs it into his mouth. He attempts to mumble a response, Zayne assumes a thanks, but it is mostly sprayed out with crumbs.

The man's strain gives Zayne some buoyancy. A grounding place. He is better at speaking for others, than for himself. "So you don't care about our presence?"

"Do you?"

It's… an odd question. Zayne has felt jealousy, he thinks. He has felt it towards these men when they have seemed the future you will walk towards.

He also thinks about days spent with all of you in one room, eating, arguing and laughing.

He thinks about the routine he cannot handle, the shaking to his foundations.

The warm heat of a lemurian's flame, and the sharp glow of a knight's blade.

He thinks about the nature of loneliness. Of fearing his hands can hurt.

"No." Is his honest answer, because he does not hate this place, with these people. He does not dislike the laughter in the room, or the sweets he has been made by the criminal staring at him with garnet eyes. He does not want to leave, even when you are not here. Eased by the space of you, and learning to be comfortable in their presence.

He has been isolated for a while, and while your presence makes it softer, he is eased to not face days alone. To come home to food, he does not have to force his tired body to cook, and people who learn his preferences.

Even if they often seem to be learning boundaries, first.

The shackles, as Sylus put them, are sturdy though. Heavier than anything else he will ever carry. Weighted by guilt and fears that cannot be alleviated in one night.

He wonders, absently, and hopefully, if not walking the path alone, will mean he can walk it easier with you.

That maybe it allows him to care for your heart in all the ways that matter.

Xavier leans back against the sofa, the movement shaking him, and yawns. His head drooping for a moment against Zayne's shoulder, before he slumps back to the other side. Back to his arms wrapped around his favourite plushie. "I like the meals." He mumbles, before he begins to snore softly.

"Should we worry that he's that easily won over by hotpot?"

Zayne retrieves the blanket over the arm of the sofa, to lay over the hunter. "I wonder if it was that easy."

"What about you fish?"

Rafayel turns his head away, conjuring a flame in his hand, that turns into a fish. He watches it flicker, dance, before it swims around his arm. "I've lost them too many times." Zayne feels the weight of his grief then, the pain that pulls through. The ones that feel familiar. "If it means never losing them or being alone again…" The fish dissipates, but not before swimming in a loop, and twirling through the air between them all. "I guess I don't hate you all."

"What a compliment, I'm about to swoon, fish."

"Except for you, stupid crow."

"Well, great alliances are never built in a day."

He looks down at his hands, thinking about the ice and the thorns. The future he can't grasp. He thinks about you watching people on the park bench.

'We're not meant to be alone.'

He isn't sure if this is what you mean, but maybe, one day, when they're ready to talk, and you are ready to hear… it will be.

If you seek him out, none of them, one of the others, or all of them. He will accept, because he knows you care, and that will never be called into question.

Even though, as the crow and the fish begin to whisper insults at each other, he thinks that alliance will take far longer.

[ceratedfish24]

Your takes on c!Scott and flower husbands have honestly been so refreshing that its reignited my old Hot Takes on c!Jimmy bc I detest the way people characterize him.

I feel like so many people portray Jimmy as this dejected downtrodden victim of bullying, which feeds into a narrative that Scott was cruel and abusive and awful or whatever, and tends to act like Jimmy doesn't have any agency ever. But IN REALITY??? Jimmy is not downtrodden and dejected and sad!!!!! In my opinion, Jimmy's defining character trait is his unshakable TENACITY! Ppl never want to admit that Jimmy is a little shit! That he acts out of spite, that his friends' teasing only tends to motivate him!! He *thrives* in environments that challenge him! AND to be so for real, he is a grown man with agency and decision-making skills and I'm tired of people acting like he isn't.

In general I feel like people just have the wrong outlook on him as a character. Maybe they've just collectively misunderstood him, or a Helpless Miserable Victim is easier to write about in fic, or they just want to project their own bullying-related trauma onto him or whatever. (People do similar things to Scar when talking about desert duo, which I understand even less). IDK. These are just my thoughtssssss sorry for rambling :P

No because you’re literally so real for this. Jimmy is SUCH a little shit. His response to Joel being mad at Jimmy for trying to kill him was to SHAKE HIS ASS AT JOEL. He taunted Joel because Jimmy successfully used Lizzie to bait Joel out. He tried to guilt trip Scott into giving him time. These aren’t negative qualities. This is a guy being silly with his friends. Embrace them when writing c!Jimmy. These are wonderful and realistic qualities.

Jimmy’s tenacity is so remarkable. He gets knocked down and all of his friends tease him about it, and he stands right back up with pep in his step. A lot of people treat Pearl the same way. Like, guys, these people are adults who make their own choices, and, often times, people who are given free will are not going to make the responsible choice most of the time when there are no real world consequences to their actions other than maybe “I might not get to be in the finale of this Minecraft series”.

There is SO much favoritism in the Life Series. Jimmy and Pearl are always reduced to their greatest tragedies, while Scott and Cleo are reduced to their most selfish moments, even though everyone else is equally selfish because IT IS A DEATH GAME. IT IS A COMPETITION. THAT IS THE POINT.

A lot of Jimmy’s deaths tend to be his own doing. Whether he unnecessarily made an enemy or just wasn’t being careful, a lot of Jimmy’s deaths are his fault, and that’s fine. He likes to play into bits. He’s not that serious about winning as opposed to making fun content. Pearl has made her fair share of mistakes and enemies, and that adds plot and drama to her content. That’s how she plays it, and it’s fine! Don’t infantilize them for dealing with the consequences of their actions just like everybody else!

Scott was widowed, and he had to watch his allies die before he did for seasons. Nobody ever comforts him about it. Nobody says “oh this man is so sad he’s just doing his best but he can’t keep his friends alive and it’s eating him up and everyone should baby him”.

Nobody even calls Joel toxic for constantly targeting Scott, but somehow Scott is toxic for teasing Jimmy now and then? (Which is not to say that Joel is toxic. He just finds it fun to target his good friend and knows where Scott’s limits are. It’s actually a sign of how close they are in real life). Nobody calls Etho and Bdubs toxic for being so mean to each other. Nobody calls Impulse manipulative when his whole thing in Third Life was betraying people. Nobody says Ren is controlling for taking the lead in Dogwarts or calling the Renwood Mound the Ren Mound. Scar is a liar and a scammer and no one thinks less of him for it.

Do you wanna know why? Because they’re friends having fun. Scott and Scott’s character should be treated with that same respect given to everyone else. Also, people need to keep in mind that Scott is not actively playing a character. Scott is just playing the game the way that cc!Scott wants to play the game, so any in depth analysis of Scott’s “character”? That’s an over analysis of cc!Scott in a competitive environment, and that man is literally on this site, people. He knows about Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss, Girldad. I’ve seen him reply to analysis posts on why Scott is manipulative. He’s literally just a guy playing a game for fun.

Imagine if someone accused you of playing an evil and selfish character because you asked your friend to give you the monopoly money they owe you. Or, worse imagine if someone accused you of playing a manipulative character because you let your friend land on your monopoly property without paying you????? Because you love your friend??????? Like, excuse me????????

Thank you for the ask!!!!!! 🩵🩵🩵 It’s always flattering when someone calls my posts “refreshing”💕💕💕(also I see you all the time and I love seeing your additions to my posts💖)

[noellefan101]

Their S/O Is a Gamer, But They Arent Really One

Characters: Pantalone, Childe, Albedo, Nilou, Tighnari x GN reader

Summary: Your partner doesnt really into playing online games, but you do, so what do they play when you introduce them and what would they be interested in playing.

Warnings: mentions of blood, and horror games but nothing bad jsut the mentions of it, otherwise just fluff, modern au

Note: love the idea of playing games with someone who has never really touched an online game, so you introduce them to some not so weird games and play with them. i sound so lonely- love you

Pantalone

He definitely lives in a giant place, so you have your own room with a pc and all that stuff, even though he doesnt really understand it he loves you, and your hobbies are apart of you.

Would love to play something with you, but he for once isn't sure how to ask, and he doesn't have much free time. But would love to play some cozy games with you, either on a console or with him sitting in your chair while you teach him how to play.

Likes playing more business-focused games, just so he can also show off all his knowledge of marketing to you, but could also get into horror games if you played with him.

He plays the sims with you at times, and he definitely has one of the sims run a store and can make a lot of money really quickly, even without knowing what he's really doing.

Childe

He has played a few games, but only combat games where you could also see blood, so think shooters and that stuff. so if you play more cozy games, or just sweet games i dont think he would be very interested at first.

But if you wanted to play with him he totally would, he would sit next to you at his own desk and look over to see what you were doing once in a while when he was lost.

He likes playing with you but doesnt do it often, only when he really feels like it. Also loves horror games, but especially if you get scared easily so he can tease you and comfort you, plus he gets to hold your hand.

Albedo

He is definitely interested in video games, and has some on his phone that Klee can play when she's with her but he's busy.

So he has gotten you to talk a little about the games you play, and seen you play as well. But has never actually tried playing it, so he would like to try.

Likes to play dress up games, just for fun but also because he can draw the outfits and get inspiration form them. Plus he has you beside him so he can tease you by drawing you in a rather embarrassing outfit.

He's not really into the concept but still likes to just watch while he's doing an experiment, but would play science games on his own if he found one he liked.

Think if Dr. Stone made a game, so stuff with a lot of scientific aspects to it. Games that would put you to sleep after he started talking about it.

Nilou

Loves to look at you play, she sits on your lap at times to get a better view. She doesn't really take an interest to what you're doing as much, but would still love to play with you.

She would like playing the sims, making both of you and building a pretty house for you to live in. She has also made you kiss many times, but got embarrassed when you commented on it.

Would also challenge you in fitness type games, but she wins almost every time. You now have a Wii in your living room where you both do yoga together every week.

Tighnari

He is way more interested in nature, plants, and the outside world of living beings, so he hasn't really touched the concept of playing games on a computer, more so looking up information.

But he would be so into Stardew Valley, yes he does know way more about all these plants and will rant on and on about why these plants need to planted in the spring and stuff. But he would have so much fun playing if you got im into it.

GRASS, did i scare you? go out and touch some please, you need it

And yes, he is interested in what you play otherwise without him, and would encourage you to talk about it for hours just like he does with plants. He's very supportive of you and likes just looking at you play games while he studies a special species of fox that he just learned about.

Walks into your room from time to time and opens the windows, because you need more sunlight, and he doesn't accept the excuse of him being your sun, though he does blush if you say that.

Thx for reading pookie, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

[brokenpieces-72]

Hi, how are you? I was thinking that it would be really cool to have a medic who’s a phoenix with healing tears and maybe can be a combat medic who can “die” on the field only to be reborn again as a chick for a little while then become an adult again. I hope you like it. ❤️

Hi, I’m doing well thank you for asking. Hunter honestly deserves a break from time to time and I’m gonna try to write this character as male, because I don’t have many guys. Sorry this took so long, I honestly wasn't sure how to start, and then I decided on another start and then I had two in the same place. So yeah.

Nix

CoD Hybrid AU | Navigation

The most annoying thing about your condition is how often you have to deal with resets. A lot of your human regiments took your immortality and healing benefits for granted and often forgot, oh yeah you can still die. At the same time, being on a hybrid team meant most of them have healing factors so your tears didn’t do much.

When you returned for your new placement after getting shot down in the field you found a pleasant surprise. Section Chief Laswell, who you knew by reputation. She was there to give you information on your new station, which you were very pleased with. A couple of humans but mainly hybrids. As a combat medic you could be valuable when it came to injuries that the healing factors couldn’t handle.

This is what you had studied for, your research and work targeted towards hybrids and their autonomy and anatomy. The night before you shipped out you went over each file, twice. Not a single one was the same as the last. A dragon with one wing? If there’s one thing you sadly could heal with was limbs removed to that degree. A wraith was certainly a new one. The research that could be don-no! No. You had to be respectful, and you refused to treat anyone like an experiment. If you wanted to learn more you could do it via observation.

Arriving to base you were met with Captain Price, and the medic, Hunter. They both shook your hand, as you introduced yourself. You noted the shoulder weight on Price, to compensate for the missing wing. Maybe an improvement could be made, but that was something to discuss later on. For the most part you would be in combat, fighting and taking care of injuries on the field. Of course to make your fellow medic’s life easier you came with small dropper vials of your tears.

You would be working with Hunter the closest, who was more than happy to make you feel comfortable. You were escorted to the med bay where there were a few occupied cots and Hunter guided you through each of them. It was the same as any other first day on base, despite your experience. You only correct Hunter when they make obvious mistakes, knowing they were testing your skills. Hunter brought you to a cot with a man who may be one of the tallest you’ve met, passed out on the cot.

“And can you tell me what happened to this patient?” You asked Hunter before they could ask you. Hunter appreciated the playful challenge in your eyes.

“This is one of our KorTac transfers. He’s a Percht hybrid, and he’s recovering from a rampage.”

“Interesting. It happens often?” You asked.

“That he passes out at the end or that he goes on a rampage?” Hunter asked. You gave them a look, that reminded Hunter of their training days. “He passes out after every rampage, but doesn’t always go into one. For the most part his size and skills get him through the field well enough.”

“That must make it easier.” You commented. Hunter nodded.

“How long is the recovery period?” You asked, this time an actual question.

“Depends on various factors.” Hunter said. You assumed as much. Still, quite intriguing. “Once he wakes up though, I have to do routine physicals on each of the hybrids, if you don’t mind assisting.”

“Much more detailed look than any file will provide, I’m sure.” You said.

When Konig wakes up, he is still given a few hours to rest to work off a nasty headache, but he allows you to assist with his check up. You make small chat with him, but it’s clear that headache remains potent. Once you take some measurements and check scars and injuries he’s sent on his way. Decent enough guy.

Horangi is called in next, and as a haetae he’s equally intriguing. At first glance anyone would take it for a tiger hybrid but you’ve already read his file. He’s compliant but a little reserved. Still gives you casual respect, noting you definitely weren’t human. Though your features aren’t very obvious to anyone. Horangi gives you a nod out of courtesy and leaves once his health information is written down.

Price steps in, and when his shirt comes off you see the shoulder weight much more clearly. You can only imagine the amount of force it would take to rip his wing off let alone remove it from the socket completely. You asked the captain if the counter weight was even enough for proper balance. He admits it could be improved but at the same time he’s gotten used to it, and changes could make it a little difficult. You still offered to help him with finding him a better solution and he accepted.

A new pair of wings comes in, and shakes your hand almost immediately, recognizing you as a new face. Kyle commented on your warm hands, which were pleasantly toasty. Yeah you got that a lot. Kyle was curious about you though, noting you didn’t show any wings yourself, despite being a Phoenix. It’s a little more complicated than that, but he doesn’t pry anymore than you are comfortable with.

Johnny takes the seat and makes a few jests towards Hunter, who rolled their eyes. You aren’t afraid to make some comments of your own, which makes Johnny more relaxed around you. Good, you didn’t want to wrestle with a werewolf if you could avoid it. If you could avoid injury that was preferable.

When Simon steps in you feel it first, like there is death close by, simply waiting like a parent at a doctor’s office. You’d read up on Simon before coming to the base and you’d hardly heard of wraiths let alone seen one in person. Right off the bat you ask if questions are okay, and Simon prefers they’re kept to a minimum. You have most of your information from the files, so you simply ask him how he prefers his tea. Simon certainly feels a bit more at ease. You’ve seen plenty of cases in your time, you knew how to make people comfortable.

Next is Rodolfo, who is mostly human. His cadejos are very charming, and you get to give them some belly rubs. Easy, calm and relaxed conversation between you two. He and Hunter seem to be close.

Alejandro comes in and okay dang that’s some muscle. A nagual, a guardian. And Rudy’s husband. Proud of it too. You can understand why.

Finally, you meet the youngest which is Spirit. You offer to leave so she can be examined properly, but she doesn’t seem to mind. Hunter ensures she stays covered for the most part and you look away out of respect. Spirit is very excited to lift her shirt, to show you her ribs. Except you find a normal physique. Hunter still encourages her to keep it up, as they continue to examine them. A jackalope hybrid, with a wendigo form. Antlers are a little chipped but healthy enough. She’s sent on her way afterwards.

“Coffee?” You suggested to Hunter.

“Please.” They said.

“Seriously how do you fall out of a helicopter?” You asked Gaz on the roof. Gaz chuckled, shaking his head.

“Very talented my friend.” Gaz told him.

“Yes but when you have wings.” You said.

“Speaking of wings,” Kyle said. “Mind if I ask about yours?”

“How do you mean?” You asked.

“Well they told us you were a Phoenix. Guess I figured you’d have wings, you’re pretty rare specimen.” Gaz explained.

“Oh right. Ha…” you trailed off.

“If it’s a sensitive topic I get it.” Gaz said, you brushed it off.

“No no… I honestly don’t know why.” You said. “I remember being jealous of harpies like you though.”

Gaz’s wings puffed up a little. You smiled, enjoying the short time of peace and quiet. Gaz said, “I’m flattered.”

The team waited with baited breath at the clouded battlefield, waiting for you to return. Hunter stood near by, a stretcher ready to be loaded onto the helicopter. As soon as your silhouette was visible, carrying a barely conscious Rodolfo on your shoulder. You were in no better state, gritting your teeth and ignoring the blood you had. Alejandro and Hunter closed the distance between you and the rest of the team, Alejandro taking Rudy and Hunter catching you as you stumble from the weight being lifted.

As Hunter helps you to the helicopter, the propellers already starting up, you handed her a vial of clear liquid. "For Rudy. It will make his recovery...faster."

Hunter lowered your hand, focusing on getting you inside, and getting home. Rudy was laid on the stretcher, and hoisted in while Price gave you a hand, hauling you up and taking you to a seat. Hunter worked on Rudy first, taking the vial you'd offered. Admittedly Hunter almost didn't believe you, but given Rudy's condition, it was better to take the shot.

You watched, eyes growing tired and your vision blurring. Hunter was a brilliant medic. The eye dropper was used on Rudy's wounds, and healed over quickly. Poor guy would still need to rest as your tears couldn't do much for head injuries unless they were bleeding. You panted in your seat, before stealing a glance down. There were blood stains on your clothes, but you ignore them. You could use a break.

When Price tried to call Hunter over to give you attention, you put a hand on his arm. "I'm good."

"You're going to bleed out." Price argued. You just nodded. Yeah, you were.

"I'll be fine." You insisted. "Please Captain. Been needing a break."

"Hunter?" Price called, seemingly ignoring your wishes. "Just patch 'em up."

Hunter obliged. You weren't going to be leaving anytime soon. Sometimes for you it was easier to just hit the reset button. At least you had some good company, company that valued you for more than just your tears. You rest your head back, fighting to stay awake. Gritting your teeth you warmed your hand up, a soft warm glow appearing on your palm. The hand went to your wounds clotting them, before Hunter could get the bandages out.

“Damn it Nix!” They barked at you. You chuckled through your pain, as they batted your hand away and started to wrap you in gauze. “I could help you more if you would just let me.”

“I know… I know…” you said.

You were helped out of the helicopter by Simon, where you saw the rest of the team waiting. Johnny had a smile on his face until he saw you. Spirit’s face was covered by her hand in shock. Gaz rushed over immediately, taking your other arm to take the weight off Hunter but you shake your head. You were far enough.

“Set me down.” You breathed. Hunter looked at you, hating this part. “I’ll be fine.”

Hunter reluctantly lowered you to the ground, while Kyle stepped back. You turned your head to the side, seeing a sunset. Beautiful. Always beautiful. You overhear Spirit asking what was going on. Her concern was sweet. A deep breath and you shut your eyes. Another good ending.

The team looked on as your body burst into flames. Spirit gasped, eyes wide watching you burn. Johnny held her back, looking on as if it were just another campfire. Price folded his arms, wing going around Kyle on instinct. It wasn’t a pleasant sight, seeing someone they had come to care about, burning in front of them. Luckily it was also quick. Your body became a pile of ash.

“I hate it when he does that.” Hunter commented.

“It’s his choice.” Price reminded them. Doesn’t mean Hunter had to like it.

“What… what happened?” Spirit asked confused. She hadn’t seen you reset before, you’d only been back on the team for a short while, having been called to other assignments. Johnny let Spirit go, while Kyle approached the ashes.

“I’ll show you.” He said, gesturing for Spirit to approach. The jackalope came over seeing the pile of ash start to shift. “Come on you bald chicken, come on out.”

Your beak poked out of the ash your head following with it. Spirit gasped while Kyle smiled. You felt his finger stroke your head. You let out a happy chittering sound. “There he is.”

“I’ll get a blanket.” Hunter said.

The best part of your rebirth is probably the pampering. You already asked Kyle to show Spirit what to do before the mission. Kyle was fine with playing nursemaid, and giving Spirit some extra education.

“He remembers everything? Even though he died?” She asked while you were looking back at her in your blanket nest.

“Everything.” Kyle told her. “Only thing that changes is his age. He grows quickly from hatchling, and then it’s a matter of shifting back to human. By that point he’s an adult.”

“Never seen a phoenix before.” Spirit commented, resting her head on the table. You leaned over and nibbled at her nose, making her giggle. You got gentle strokes to beak as a reward.

It didn't take too long for you to get your feathers back. It let you take off, enough for some branching and practice, but not much distance yet. Spirit helped you by letting you ride on her antlers around the base. She was very careful, doing constant check ins to make sure you didn't fall off. If you weren't on Spirit's antlers you were riding somebody's shoulder. Except Simon's.

You don't feel safe around Simon in such a vulnerable state. If you had your human form, you would be fine. Simon is also fine with this. You're a phoenix, they're not very comfortable around undead, and technically speaking he is undead. Your skills against thralls and vampires were enough to satisfy him. Johnny is often in the same room anyways, so having a wolf as a mediator even with just his presence put you more at ease.

Hunter keeps you close as well. It's been a while since your last regeneration, so they take advantage to study you and any changes you might have in behaviour and personality. You don't mind, they don't needles to you except for any vaccinations they deem necessary. The other medics find your presence a treat, getting to greet you, and admire the beautiful warm colours of your feathers coming in.

Once you're able to fly a bit better, you often start to wake up Hunter. It's getting colder and the heating unit on base isn't exactly perfect, so some areas on the base are still chilly. You give off enough body heat that Hunter can pull on a hoodie, put you in the large packet, and have a couple minutes to warm up before getting their coffee. Sometimes Hunter puts the hoodie around your nest to heat it up over night.

Once Hunter has their morning coffee, you take off to wake the others. You land in front of Simon's door and let out a small cry. Simon doesn't always sleep, but rather he tries to relax in his room. Once there is movement, you move on to the next one. If Johnny isn't in Simon's room or outside after a full moon, you find him next. There's only so many places Johnny can be a full wolf inside, and the cold doesn't bother him, but Simon will open his door for you so you can nestle up next to him before letting off some extra heat. You may or may not nudge him with your beak, hey! No rolling over! Come on!

You're not quite heavy enough, and your talons can't grip the handle or knobs properly. First time you woke Simon he suggested he help you with your wake up calls. You didn;t object, and saw it as a trust excerise, since Johnny will help you if he's sharing a room with Simon for the night.

Alright, Kyle is next. Sometimes he's already awake or he's with the captain. Simon lets you in, and you fly over. Kyle is a harpy and therefore has some bird tendencies, include his wings covering his face a bit when he sleeps. You find an opening easily enough to wake him. Once your hear a soft morning from him you're able to get him out of bed. You let him wake up on his own, before heading out of the room and on to the next one.

Spirit is a typical teenager, and will try to ignore you like Johnny. That is if she doesn't try to curl up with you like a plushie. You land, wake her, and as soon as she reaches for you, you're off again. Spirit tends to get dressed and showered before eating breakfast anyways. You leave her to it.

You don't go to Konig if he's had a rampage the day before. He needs rest and he's unconscious. After the red mist he can make you aren't about to bother him. Konig is a gentle giant sure, you ride his shoulder any time the medics are uneasy around him to make them feel safe. You don't want to try to force him awake if you don't have to, and usually his rampages land him in the medbay anyways. Today you could wake him, and its the same as most, but you don't have to warm him up much. You get a warm greeting from him though as he drags himself out of bed.

You don't like waking up Horangi. Why? Because sometimes he's a jerk. More than once you've gone in to wake him, found his bed empty and are met with a haetae looking at you like Lucifer looks at a cornered mouse in Cinderella. You've taken to just letting out a call outside his door. One time you did this and Horangi opened the door ready to pounce and spook you. You retreated and let out a cry at him. Horangi was pretty smug, right up until he saw Simon close by, staring him down. Yeah, he stopped after that.

Alejandro and Rodolfo share a room, so not as much work. You can let out a call from hallway and they'll take a couple minutes. The two warm each other up, no issues there. You've gone in before and landed behind Alejandro, pecking at his back to wake him. Didn't work, he nearly rolled on top of you. If you hadn't cried out when you did, jolting him awake, you might have had some bent feathers. You go inside today though, as Rudy's injuries are still a little rough. It can take longer for him to fall asleep, and Alejandro struggles with sleep as a part of it. You're able to hop on to the bed, hop on to Rudy and land between them. You nudge Rudy first, who gives you some pets to get himself moving. Rudy then wakes the colonel, and you're on to the last one.

Price sleeps well enough but sometimes you find him sleeping on his desk or sitting next to his bed going over some files. Workaholic. Simon tries to scold him about it but well, it's not really scolding. More just commenting. Simon cracks open the door and you poke your head in. WOO! He's sleeping! You almost don't want to wake him. But you have to. The advantage here is that you can wamr up with him, because as a dragon hybrid he's pretty warm. You can nestle with him for a bit, giving him a couple miniutes before you wake him. Price groaned once you were comfortable. He saw you, and got out of bed, picking you up, and holding you to his core, where his body was the hottest.

Kyle takes you up to the roof anytime he relaxes up there. All he has to do is find you call "Nix". You know where you're going, and you'll fly over immediately. You get to relax with him outside and sometimes go for a flight yourself, with Kyle watching or joining you. It gives you a chance to brush up on your hunting skills. Mice and rats weren't uncommon to find. Spirit comes out with you guys as well, laying back and staring up at you while you fly over head.

Another life another cycle. It can feel tedious, and one day you'll probably end up doing something else. For now you have good people, and safe space. It took time to find this, to build it. You weren't about to walk away from it. If only it could have been that easy.

You had gone with the team to an outpost, a temporary set up for a mission. You still weren't shifting, not that you couldn't but it wasn't an ideal form. If you did shift to human it would be very young and very vulnerable. You didn't want to reset before you had to, and a kid was an easy target. A juvenile phoenix? That would require more stopping power.

"Wheels up at 0500 tomorrow. Prep your gear, eat, rest up, and we move out." The captain ordered. You made a chirping sound to get his attention once the team dispersed. Price offered his arm for you, giving you a chance to fly over and land on him. You inch up to his good shoulder nuzzle the back of his ear befoire looking at him expectantly. The Captain recognized that look. You were very expressive for a bird.

"Nix you'll be staying behind." He told you. You squawked in protest, your feathers puffing. The captain sighed. "Nix, you'll provide overwatch with Gaz."

You wanted to do more, but without a human form, you had some limitations. At least as overwatch you could still do some work as a medic. Price got to work prepping his gear with you close by, either perched somewhere or on his shoulder. If you noticed someone looking for something, you brought it to them. You noticed Simon was tense and you already knew why. The location of the mission had some heavy memories for him. Hell even Price wasn't sure about coming. You noticed the scope to his rifle was missing as he was assembling the weapon. It was under the bench. You flew over to him, your bright colours catching his eye. Simon watched as you retrieved the missing piece and flapped up, onto the bench. The scope was in your talons as you out a soft chirp. Simon took the scope and you nudged his leg. Your tears could heal a lot, but emotional and mental wounds? Not so much.

"Thanks Nix. Stay safe yeah?" He told you. You stay safe? You were more worried about him.

Downside of being a phoenix - well you already know the downsides - everyone wants a phoenix. Hybrid trafficking is a thing as well, with some sick tickets enjoying the idea of having hybrids for pets. A phoenix has extra benefits, with healing tears. There has been entire debates and conferences on phoenix tears and whether it should be allowed to be bought and sold in pharmaceuticals. As for your feathers that's a whole other issue and has long since been deemed illegal to traffick real ones. Not that poachers would care.

The mission had been going fine, you were keeping an eye out for wounded human soldiers from above. It was like watching a maze being solved by multiple lines, and just as chaotic. Kyle had been called to the ground to assist a team, leaving you to take care of another wounded soldier. As soon as you landed next to him, you were grabbed. You didn't have an ear piece so no one heard your distress. The next thing you know, you're uncermoniously stuffed in a bag, and dragged off.

When you awoke you were in a bird cage which you would never stop finding humiliating. This wasn't the furst time either, but you were more irritated by the fact that it had happened when you were trying to help someone. That being said you know better than to thrash against your cage, knowing they would try to restrain you further to preserve your feathers. To make matters worse you recognized the voice of the person who had caught you.

Valeria stood there staring at you. You tilted your head at her, remaining calm and avoiding too focused of a gaze. Gorgon hybrids were familiar enough to you. You could avoid mind control well enough, including hers. The question was if she recognized you as well. You were younger than when she previously saw you, and it was at a distance.

"Did you check for a tag?" She asked. The two men who'd caught you shared a look, and she sighed face palming. You weren't sure whether to pity them or laugh at them for such a rookie mistake. You did have a tag on you, Price had insisted on it. The way she went off on the two of them, holy crap. The fact she didn't turn them to stone right then and there was surprising.

"Out. I'll deal with you later." She hissed at them. That wasn't even a pun. Her attention was back on you, and you puffed up your feathers. The way she was staring at you was... kind of odd. If anything she seemed to be admiring you. I mean what was there to be disgusted by? You couldn't help but detect something else behind her eyes. The snakes didn't seem bothered by you.

"You could give me so much." Valeria commented. Fuck, not what you ever wanted to hear in this situation. You squawked in warning at her, almost challenging her to try something. She just smirked. "If only Graves were here, I might just set you on him. Maybe you could get him to shift gears."

She sighed seeing you bristle. "But you're with that pack of misfits... hmph... I'll take advantage of what time I have before they come to collect you."

As soon as you saw a few figures approaching with gloves, you started to thrash. Not again. You wouldn't let this happen again.

"Nix... Nix can you hear me?"

You were a pitiful sight. A number of feathers had been plcked from you, and your eyes were dry and sore.

"Can you hear me... try to move if you can..."

That voice. Spirit. You heard a couple more but they were further away. You tried to force your eyes open, but all you felt was still air on them. There was a crack of light but not enough to make out anything.

"Hunter.... he needs help!"

"Shit... come on Nix don't make me do this the easy way... really hate doing that... stay with us."

Tired... you were just tired and sore. You can feel gloves again, and you try to scratch back with your talons.

"Hold him down..."

"Yep." You felt leather holding your legs.

"Gently."

"I'm trying."

Something is laid next to you, you feel the edge brush against you. very gently you're awkwardly placed into something soft. You thrash at first, your mind still alert, but the voices assure you everything will be okay. It was all going to be okay... sleep... you wanted... sleep...

Hunter wasted no time getting you back to the med bay, getting you fixed up. They hadn't hesitated to break some things, and extracting your tears was done with little care for your well being. You felt something cover your head and you relaxed, realizing it was over.

Sleep returned to you while Hunter did their best to fix you up. As always, a remarkable job was done. You were placed in Spirit's room in a warm nest made of blankets and a hoodie. Recovery would be slow but you didn't need a reset. Not this time. You didn't want one either. When you woke back up you heard the team talking.

"His wings were broken, his eyes are dry and primary feathers were removed..." Kyle said, repeating the information Hunter had given them.

"Literal no fly list." Spirit commented.

"Having his eyes bandaged for now is the safest, so he'll need extra assistance around base." Hunter mentioned. "If he chooses to stay on base during the recovery period."

"I hate to mention it, but if Nix were to reset...

"No." Hunter said immediately. "I'm not about to do a reset."

"Could... someone else do it?" Spirit asked, her tone hesitant.

"I'm the only one with the training to do it, if anyone else does it on the team, it could be considered... no." Hunter trailed off before putting their foot down. Hippocratic oaths didn't cover phoenixes, and Hunter was strongly against being the reason you reset.

"Nix will still recover." Simon spoke up. "Just extra time."

"That settles it." Price said, before anybody could object. Not that anyone would. You fell back asleep hearing that.

The next time you awoke, you felt large hands take hold of you. You stayed calm, feeling yourself pressed to a warm chest. You were carried out of the bedroom and into a more communal space. The bandages remained over your eyes. You knew it would be while until you could see properly again.

"Hunter wants to give you some eye drops." You heard Price say softly. You let out a soft cooing sound, showing your appreciation. The team had to put in extra effort to help you recover, and they were choosing to do so. You heard Price and Hunter talking quietly, with Spirit asking if she could help.

"Keep your eyes shut, I'll tell you when to open them." Spirit said while Hunter instructed her on how to apply the eye drops. When the bandage was removed, you couldn't register much light. Hunter was doing this to protect your eyes. Gentle, latex fingers took off your bandages. Spirit asked you to open one eye and the drops were applied. It was a welcome relief until you could produce more natural tears. The other eye was treated and a new bandage was applied. This would take some time before you could see again.

Once Spirit said you were finished, Price took you to get fed, letting you locate the food yourself. You heard Kyle come into the room. You replied to his entrance with a friendly chirp. After you filled up on spices and fruit extracts Price picked you back up.

Price laid back and placed you on his chest where his heat was the strongest. The warmth was a great comfort, and you nestled in. You told yourself, when you could properly shift to a human state, you would thank him, and apologize for being so reckless. In maybe a week or so you would be around Spirit's age, and by the end of the month you would be an adult. By that point you should have your feathers back, and be able to see properly.

For now, you rested against the captains warm chest, trying to rest again. Those sickos had left their mark though. It wasn't long before you started to fidget and needed to be woken up again. Kyle woke you, taking you off Price's hands so he could get to work on his reports. You let out a startled tweet, your feathers puffing again.

"I got ya Nix. You're safe here." Kyle assured you. If only could see it for yourself.

Your blindfold stayed on until you could shift to an adult. It had come with some difficulties, and you shifted to human a few times before if only to make navigation a little easier. Spirit spent plenty of time with you, helping you walk around. Hunter insisted on a human state to get better adjusted to walking around with assistance.

Despite Hunter's intentions, König would pick you up and take you to whereever you need to go. You weren't much heavier than Spirit anyways. Horangi's antics against you stopped as soon as he learned what had happened. You didn't know at the time, but if he overheard someone making comments about your vision, he made the room foggy with his clouds and caused them to stumble around. The cadejos are great seeing eye dogs, and Rudy showed you how they can guide you around. May have led to you bumping into a wall or two, from the cadejos passing through them. Alejandro worked with Hunter and Price to find tasks you could do on base with your young age and impairment. You found you could still navigate the medbay with little issue, but sharp items were kept out of reach.

The biggest issue was your nightmares. More than once you would wake up to complete darkness and cold sweat. You didn't cry out, not wanting to bother anyone else. Except Spirit doesn't work that way, nor does Ghost. Ghost on more than one occasion has walked in on you, checking to see how you're doing. Spirit could hear your small noises of distress as well.

One night, Spirit knocked on your door. You allowed her entry from your bed, and she offered to take you for a walk or get a snack. Each time you accepted her invitation. Spirit didn't pry or bother you with questions. You got the impression she'd been through this before, or something similar. After half an hour or so you were led back to your room and could sleep the rest of the night.

Then came a night where Ghost came to your room. He announced himself calmly, and you were helped out of bed. The bandages would be coming off the next day. You were relieved to finally see again. The nightmares didn't subside though. Ghost made sure you had tea and something to eat before he decided to lay it all down.

"They did a number on you." Ghost stated.

"Yep." You said calmly.

"Sick fuckers." Ghost commented. "You made it out alive."

"I got myself caught, and put myself in that situation." You said.

"You did." Ghost agreed. Great talk Ghost, very inspiring.

"Should've stayed behind. I'm living with my mistakes." You reminded him.

"Same." Ghost said sipping his own mug. You turned towards his voice. "If all you do is beat yourself up about your mistakes, you're just gonna turn purple. You've got scars, we all do. That's what happens when you make choices."

"I know." You said. You'd been around for a long while. This isn't the first time you'd dealt with something like that.

"I'd fucking hope so, you're older than me." Simon pointed out. "But if you know, then you know when to fucking say something."

"I do. Once the bandages come off, I'll be attending therapy. Not sure if they can help but it's worth trying." You told Ghost. Ghost looked at you while you finished your midnight tea.

"Good." He said.

You sat on the bed, a full adult. Spirit instructed you to shield your eyes with your hand while the cotton pads were removed from each side.

"Okay... open slowly." Spirit said. You did, wincing a bit. "Well?"

You stared at your hand. "Five right?"

Spirit's face lit up as she confirmed it. Finally you could get back to work again. Of course Hunter wouldn't let you. Instead it was a mental health day, and it was doctor's orders so no getting out of it. The team left you alone and you returned to your room, sitting on your bed. You know what comes next, and you know it could mean you leaving the base and the team. It was important though.

You dialed the number you found online. A receptionist answered. "Hello, how can I help you today?"

"Hi, I'd like to set up a consultation with a therapist."

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