#i have over 6000 words written for the outline so like. i don’t plan on quitting anytime soon

[nesisamess]

thinking about akane/sora.

sigh that whole thing along with her (their? both of their?) dynamics with utsuro, and how that kind of bleeds over into yuki.

i was gonna put some shit in the tags but my brain just kept writing so ahem here we go (sorry as always for the nonsensical rambling if you can’t tell i just use tumblr as a place to word vomit about the things that are Taking Up My Brain)

The main reason I’m not a huge fan of Sora/Yuki is because how much of it is just Sora’s programming? But at the same time that just makes everything 1000x more interesting because where does Sora begin and the programming stop, yknow? Sora is so vastly different from Akane imo that it feels weird to call Sora nothing but an imitation of Akane, but… canonically, i mean, that’s all she really is

I’m definitely a big believer in your own interpretations of media (and especially with some of Kodaka’s choices that i don’t personally agree with) and in Sora’s case I kind of don’t believe she’s just this really simple ai. I definitely think that her relationship with Akane and the melding of them is v. v. interesting and could lead to a lot of emotional development but it becomes a lot less interesting to me when it’s just like “oh yeah sora isn’t even like. anywhere close to real she can never be real whatsoever” like is the questioning of her own reality not enough? cuz her emotions feel pretty fucking real and it feels ridiculous to say otherwise

In my own fanfiction & writing for a post sdra2 what-if-sora-survives a lot of her struggle is with figuring out how much of akane is still in her. like. that’s almost a seperate person, but wait, no it’s not. i have her memories. i have her face. i stare in the mirror and she looks back and am i her? am i the one who did all those horrible things? or was it someone else? and sora’s struggle with that could be so so interesting

and how yuki/utsuro plays into it too ughhhh

did sora ever really love yuki, or was it all just the programming? and is that programming her or is it akane? and who is she, if she’s not just akane? utsuro and akane are 100% an unhealthy ass relationship and that always will kinda poison any variation of sora/akane x yuki/utsuro ships for me.

but utsuro and akane at the same time are so fucking interestinggggg in their toxic mess like she fucking worships him. he is a god to her but to him? akanes just another follower. a particularly loyal one but at the end of the day he. does. not. care. about. her. whatsoeverrrrrr!!! he doesn’t care about anything, not even himself

and i think she kinda knows that, or is aware but she doesn’t even care because to her utsuro is a god and she’s thankful he even lets her worship him. because he saved her. and how fucked up must akane’s situation must have been? i mean, i can’t imagine. and now, post sdra2, sora has all these memories. she remembers all this shit, all the reasons why she worships and loves utsuro but also. she has other stuff. she has yuki, and yoruko, and all these new memories that she had made. but, but… but she would still pick him.

and doesn’t that prove it?

that after all this time that sora didn’t even get to experience, she is the same.

the same girl that did all these horrific things in the name of worship.

is she also, then, the person she was before those memories came back? the person who flirted with yoruko and created bonds and made sarcastic comments.

is she…

is she both? neither?

well, we’ll never get an answer.

because at the end, she did what she always did.

she sacrificed herself for him.

[barbex]

5 questions

I was tagged by @aban-asaara and I'm finally getting around to it. Thank you very much for thinking of me.

How about [Lost Templar]:

1) What was the idea that started the story? What if Carver Hawke became the Inquisitor? XD I recently checked when that idea came up and it was the 5th of August 2018 and judging by the comment from @hollyand-writes under there, I'd say it was all her fault.

Seven days later, I posted the first chapter to tumblr, now with Templar Carver instead of Warden.

2) Did you make an outline? Did you stick to it? Oh blasted outlines. Isn't the game enough of an outline? Well, I tried, I made a bullet pointed list that goes up to... Redcliffe? Where I am now in what I have written so far. I honestly don't have much after that. I'm bad with outlines, I don't really do them but I do collect ideas and snippets in a scrap file. That file has over 6000 words, so I can say that I still have lots of this planned, outline or not.

3) What’s the favorite part of your story? I love how Carver talks to people, how he says what he thinks. Carver is a bit impulsive and combined with a strong sense of justice it makes for lots of great confrontations and conversations.

4.) Who is your favorite character and why? Apart from Carver? I love Carver so much. Cassandra is also fun to write and like writing the doubting Cullen as well.

5.) Did anything happen that surprised you as you were writing? When I settled on Templar Carver, I wasn't quite aware how much I would have to deal with lyrium addiction because of that. And what also surprised me: how the Merrill and Carver combination might lead to a whole new religion if I'm not careful.

----- That was fun, thank you! I have four more of these so I'm just tagging four people here: @lauraemoriarty​, @hollyand-writes, @andrew-blackthorn and @cullenlovesmen

[thranduil-is-my-king]

Happier Here Than There (Part 4)

Ship: Eventual Thranduil/Reader Rating: General Warnings: None Tags: Middle Earth, Reader-Insert

Summary: Imagine ending up in Middle Earth at the edge of Mirkwood Forest. When you venture into the forest, you are attacked by spiders before being saved by guards and taken before the king.

Word Count: 1856

Written for: @welcome-to-fangirl-hell

A/N: This fic, and basically this series since it might not have started without her request, is dedicated to Ammy because I said on one of her posts that I was thinking of doing a Thranduil/Reader fic and I asked if she would tag me in hers when she made one and that I would do the same so, here it is! I hope all of you enjoy this series and please let me know what you think of it!

AO3 Link

Series Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13

~*~*  THIS STORY TAKES PLACE A FEW DECADES BEFORE SMAUG ATTACKS EREBOR *~*~

~~ For Ones • All Elves have a One • There is only one One a lifetime • If the elf’s one is mortal, when the two mate, the mortal becomes immortal and tied to the elf (Yes, I know that it doesn’t go like that canonically but in my ‘verse, it does. Don’t like, don’t read.)

Translations:

Ellon- Male elf

^^ Translations will be at the bottom as well

This place sucks, you think as an elf knocks on your door at what seems like too early in the morning, especially after the night you had. You stand up and walk over to your door and open it, not caring about how your hair stood up in different directions in several places. At your door stood the elf that brought you to your room yesterday. His name is Galion, right? “King Thranduil requests your presence in the library, my lady.” “Oh, uh, okay. Your name is Galion, right?” “Yes.” “Okay, Galion. Considering I have absolutely no clue as to where the library is and I most likely look horrendous right now, do you mind waiting out here while I get ready so that you can show me to the library?” You say, anxiously brushing your hair down with your hand. “I was planning to do that anyway, my lady. I shall wait out here while you get ready.” “Thank you so much. I’ll be ready in a jiffy.” You say before closing the door. Going over to the wardrobe that you were given, you wonder why Thranduil would want to see you. As far as you knew, you had done nothing wrong. Maybe another conversation about your world? Or one about his? Looking through your wardrobe, you find a simple but beautiful red gown with orange outlining the shapes of leaves. Taking it out, you lay it on your bed as you go to the bathroom to do your morning duties which are a lot faster since you don’t have makeup. You take your sleeping gown off walking to the bed before slipping on the gown onto your body. Now, what shoes? you think as you walk back over to the wardrobe. Looking at the shoes, you find an equally simple but beautiful pair of boots that are red on the top but gradually fade into orange going down. Perfect. After slipping the boots on, you walk over to the bed and sit down as you unbraid your hair, letting the loose curls fall. Grabbing a brush, you run it through your hair and looking in the mirror to look at yourself, you deem it well enough to walk in public. You open the door to see Galion standing on the other side of the hallway, waiting. You walk over to him and ask, “So, how do I look? Not too other-world-ish?” Galion stares at you for a moment before speaking, “Not at all except for the curly hair.” “What? Are you saying that no one in this entire kingdom has curly hair?” You ask shocked. “Elves do not have curly hair. We keep our hair long and straight.” Galion answers. “Shall we go?” “Yes.” “Alright then, follow me.” And with that, you’re off following Galion through the halls of Mirkwood.

“So, is there anything really important that I should know since I’m living here for the time being?” You ask, wanting to break the somewhat awkward silence. “You should know that elves in general are not welcome of outsiders. There aren’t a lot of us that are welcome of outsiders so until you figure out who those people are, try not to do anything extravagant or odd.” “So, basically as if I’m at a formal event except it goes on for a really long time?” “Yes, exactly.” “Are you one of those welcoming elves, Galion?” “If you knew how old I was I’m sure that you would be surprised to hear that, yes, I am.” “Why would I be surprised?” “Usually when someone meets someone old, they think that they are completely disapproving of everything that isn’t the old ways.” “Come on, you can’t be that old. What are you, 32? 35?” “Older.” Galion says, the corners of his mouth turning up a little. “What? No way. 38? You can’t be more than 40. How old are you?” “7363.” You stop walking, shocked by his answer. “I’m sorry, I must have heard you wrong. Did you say that you were 7363?!” Galion turns towards you, smiling a bit, “Yes.” “H- How?! No one lives that long!” “Elves do. Elves are immortal.” “Oh. I had no idea. That makes some sense actually.” You say, making Galion chuckle a bit. You walk to the side of him and start walking again. “So, is Thranduil a welcoming elf?” “Well, Thranduil is complicated and he has every right to be. He’s had a hard life which you can ask him about, it is not my place to tell his life story to you. There are times he can be welcoming and nice but then there are times when he can be cold and unforgiving. If you weren’t as tall as you are, he probably would’ve thought you were the offspring of a man and dwarf and thrown you in the dungeons. But he se-“ “Wait, dwarves? There are dwarves?” “Yes, they are quite short, stubborn, little things with the worst manners you’ve ever seen.” “Oh, okay. Sorry, go on.” “Thranduil seems to have taken to you. I haven’t seen him do that for a few thousand years.” “How old is Thranduil?” “7353. I am 10 years older than him.” “Wow. Oh, I have a question and you seem like the person to ask.” “What is it?” “That blonde elf that looks like Thranduil. He was like the leader of the elves that brought me in. Who is he?” “That would be Prince Legolas. Legolas is Thranduil’s son.” “So I was right! I figured they were related somehow. The silver hair and the blue eyes gave it away.” “They do look a lot alike, don’t they?” “Yes, they do. I’m guessing that Legolas is like 6000 years old?” “Oh no, not at all. He hasn’t even hit his third millennia yet. He’s still a young ellon.” “Ellon?” “It means ‘male elf’ in Sindarin. Sindarin is the language that you’ve been hearing, by the way.” “So that’s what it is! Okay, I’ve been trying to figure out what it was. Do all the elves here know English?” “English? What’s English?” “Uh, the language that we’re speaking right now.” “Oh, okay. We call it the ‘Common Tongue’ in Middle Earth.’” “Okay, got it. Do all the elves speak Common Tongue?” “Yes, all of us speak it. So, you shouldn’t have a problem with not understanding anyone. Just start speaking how we are and they should repeat what they said in the Common Tongue.” “Will they talk about me behind my back in Sindarin?” “Some of them might. But any that I or the king hears, will be shut down immediately.” “Okay, good to know.” “What will Galion and I be shutting down?” You whip your head forward, seeing that you were about to walk into King Thranduil. “Oh, um, Galion was just assuring me that the two of you will stop anyone who talks bad about me in Sindarin when I cannot even understand them.” You explain, not knowing why but feeling intimidated by the elven king. “To speak for myself, I promise you that I will not let anyone do that. It will not be tolerated in my kingdom.” Thranduil says, looking into your eyes. You stare into his beautifully blue eyes that you could get lost in just glancing at them. “I was wondering if somehow the two of you got lost and came looking for you myself.” “Y/N had just woken up and she had to get ready before I brought her to the library, my lord.” Galion answers. “Galion, how many times do I have to tell you not to be so formal when we are not around other elves?” Thranduil asks, giving one of the best eye rolls you’ve ever seen. “How many more times is it going to happen for you to realize that I’m teasing you?” Galion snarks back, smirking a little. Thranduil sighs, “I’m adding this moment to the mile long list of moments that I don’t kick you out of the kingdom when I really should.” You smile as Galion turns around and walks away while saying, “You would be lost without me, Thranduil!” “I believe it would be you that would be the lost one.” “No, I’m pretty sure it would be you considering I taught you everything you know.” Galion answers, turning a corner and going out of sight, making you laugh. “One day I’m going to kick him out of the kingdom.” “Uh huh, I’m sure you are.” You say, chuckling. “Shall we go to the library?” Thranduil asks. “Yes, we shall.” You say, starting to walk beside Thranduil. “So, why exactly am I being summoned by the king to the library?” “I was going to write the letter to the White Council asking for help to get you home but I thought that you should be there for it since you might be able to give me more information.” “Oh, well I pretty much gave you all of the information I had. I dozed off in my world before waking up at the edge of your forest.” “There was nothing else? No one else wherever you were when you dozed off?” “No, I locked all of the doors and windows of my apartment and I checked all the rooms before I went to bed.” “Well, you should still be there when I write the letter.” Thranduil says, nodding at two guards outside of two extremely large, detailed doors. The guards start opening the doors as you get closer to them. “Yeah, that’s true. It would make sense for... Wow.” You agree before trailing off as you walk into the library.

The room opened up with the tallest shelves you’ve ever seen and on either side of them are winding staircases that take you to different levels of the shelves that were full of books. It was one of the most beautiful sights you’ve ever seen. “Y/N? Are you coming?” Thranduil asks, snapping you out of your reverie. You look at him, noticing that he was a few feet in front of you as you had stopped walking to take in the view. “Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, I’m just a big nerd and was admiring all the books.” You say, walking up to him. Thranduil just smiles and leads you farther into the library to an area with tables and chairs. “After we finish this letter, I will show you the section of books that are written in the common tongue.” You turn towards him with a look of awe on your face, “Really?” Thranduil looks back at you, amused at your love of books and nods, “I’m not sure I have much of a choice now.” You chuckle, “You don’t.” Thranduil chuckles, leading the two of you to a table that already has paper, a quill with ink, and a couple candles lit for light. You sit down on one side of the table as Thranduil sits on the other side. “Let’s get started, shall we?” Thranduil says, picking up the quill. “So, tell me again what exactly happened. Include as many details as you can.”

Translations:

Ellon- Male elf

^^ Translations will be at the top as well

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you thought about it!

Tags are OPEN for this fic and the rest of my fics!

Tags: @bluemoon102, @me-lexi20, @evyiione, @ivypage12

[dragonspirebooks]

Hey Everyone!

Hope you’re all safe and healthy. I had a few goals for February, which I don’t think I met, and I skipped an update post, so I’ll start over here.

Covid-19: Aka Coronapocalypse:

When the UK went on lock-down on the 23rd of March little changed for us. My partner works in food retail, so he went to work as normal, and my MA in Writing is via distance learning. This time of year, when it usually rains, we prefer to stay in, and whilst the weather has been beautiful since lock-down began, I’m sure the rain will return as usual.

Things were okay, all things considered, until yesterday. My partner got feverish at work, and now our household has to isolate for two weeks. I always have plenty of food in the house in the event of a zombie apocalypse, and I’m an introvert, so staying in isn’t an issue. We’re not deathly ill, just feverish, tired, and I had a bit of vertigo. Hopefully it doesn’t get worse.

Given my partner’s job it was a matter of when, not if, we got sick. We’re both usually healthy, and hopefully if it’s Covid-19 it’ll be mild like the majority of cases are: Our government is only testing NHS workers, so we have to assume we’ve been affected. I’m trying to be optimistic, but scrolling BBC live news every hour wasn’t helping, so I’ve limited myself to once a day.

Anyway, onto happier things!

Reading Goals:

I have a huge backlog of books to read, as during term time I don’t have time to read for fun. My goal is to read 4 books in April to start clearing my backlog. The good news is I’m in a Netflix slump. The bad news is I keep downloading more books, and now my ‘too many books, not enough time’ problem is significantly worse 😀

Stacks of books: A visual representation of my Kindle Library!

University:

I got my grade back: 68. My average is under 70 now, and it’ll be harder to get a distinction. Given I hated the last module, and the only way to improve would’ve been to write in more depth about my self (which I didn’t want to do) I’m okay with it.

I summarised my assignment, on using life experiences to improve fantasy stories, in a blog post. The final modules will (hopefully) be better. I won’t have to use first person or memories I’m not comfortable writing about, and I think I get more freedom for the essay topic.

The next assignments are back to back, so from May to September I’ll be crazy busy. I’m not convinced the MA is worth it. I’m still a perfectionist with impostor syndrome, I’ve learned little about writing, and assignments are stressful. Some days I feel like quitting, but I’ll see how the next module goes. I aim to write a story I can use for my next assignment by the end of April.

Writing:

I posted the story I wrote for my last university assignment in two parts, On the Horizon 1 and 2. Writing it made me realise I’d rather have lots of scrapped outlines over lots of finished drafts, so I’m editing my plan for Second Chance again. I think I need to write from Merlin and Arthur’s POV, not a single POV, and I’ll only start writing when I’m sure the plan is right.

I aim to write 6000 words for Camp Nanowrimo: 4000 on a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, based on a fanfic I wrote years ago (I want to write my next essay on fanfiction), and 2000 on Merlin Second Chance, if I finish the plan! So far I’ve written 1463 words and written daily.

Merlin:

Merlin’s obsessed with climbing on the clothes airer and putting cat hair all over our clean clothes. I could stop him, but he looks so hilarious doing it so I leave him to it.

Merlin hiding on the clothes airer

Little cat face poking out between clothes

He was on Metacam for a urine infection, but he seems to have recovered. He’s going to go crazy with both of us here all the time as he’s not used to it!

Gaming:

We’d been playing a lot of games before our isolation. Now my partner’s here all the time I expect us to play a lot more, as even though we’re drained gaming is mindless fun and it’s one of the only things we can do! We’re currently trying to complete Ark: Survival Evolved (dinosaur survival), and I’ve bought Halo on PC because I used to love playing PVP on Xbox.

Dungeons and Dragons:

Before the lock-down we had our first D&D session. My character, Seth, took a crossbow bolt to the left shoulder, missed twice with his fireballs, stole a bottle of wine from the cellar of the guy we were helping, and asked quest-givers for more money as his charisma is through the roof!

My D&D character sheet. I borrowed the dice as I forgot mine. Probably why I rolled so badly!

My character’s based on Seth from my past stories Brothers Through Fire and Shelter from the Storm. Our game’s on hold until lock-down ends, but I might write up our first adventure for a future Sunday Scribbles!

Thanks for Reading!

I’ll be taking it easy in April as university doesn’t start until the end of the month. My priority is to stay sane and recover from whatever it is I have, so reading, gaming and writing are my focus.

How are you coping with lock-down? Do you have any goals for April? Chat in the comments!

March Updates: University, Camp Nano, Reading Goals, & Covid-19. Hey Everyone! Hope you're all safe and healthy. I had a few goals for February, which I don't think I met, and I skipped an update post, so I'll start over here.