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#i have no idea why predictive text suggested that#i have never typed those two words in the same sentence#june egbert#homestuck
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did a flash fic challenge today & the character i received from the spin2win was kevin. @merceyca prompted “plexiglass” & immediately after that, @vykio prompted “haunted house”, because they love to make life easy for me LMFAO. predictably with this setup, this is kevaaron. so.
kevaaron + haunted house, plexiglass
“This was a terrible idea,” Kevin mutters.
Andrew obviously hears him, but predictably ignores him, instead choosing to poke experimentally at the cleaver hanging from the ceiling. Renee, at his side, gently lowers his arm.
Matt is sandwiched between Dan and Neil, a bit ahead of Andrew. Allison and Nicky seem to be competing to find the ‘hottest corpse’.
Aaron, bringing up the rear with Kevin, slants him a sidelong glance. “Because those two are three seconds from being sent to a sexual harassment seminar or because you’re worried Andrew will try steal a machete from one of the actors?” he asks dryly.
“They’re not sharp enough,” Andrew says blandly. Renee shoots Kevin an apologetic look over her shoulder—he’s not really sure why; or rather, the only answer that comes to mind is at risk of making him flush, so he beats it back with a stick—and loops her arm with Andrew’s, leading him further out of earshot. Andrew allows it.
When Kevin looks back at Aaron, he’s tilting his head.
“Or something else?” Aaron asks.
Kevin weighs up his options. Discovering no good ones, he grumbles, “I think I saw a clown chasing a toddler with a flamethrower.”
Aaron snorts. “The great Kevin Day,” he says. His tone is mocking, but like – in that Aaron way. Kevin doesn’t really know how to explain it. There’s mocking when Aaron means it, how he used to talk to Neil and the scathing tone he turns on the especially annoying freshmen on the line-up, and then there’s like this: that natural tilt to his voice, something blunt and sarcastic, but no force behind it.
Kevin’s seen what it looks like, after all, when Aaron puts his strength into it.
He’s about to huff—something waspish about haunted houses and horror films and the Foxes’ inexplicable idea of what constitutes ‘fun’—when Aaron shifts closer, the sudden flush of body heat emanating off him stealing the words from Kevin’s mouth.
Aaron doesn’t seem concerned with saying anything, so Kevin doesn’t either, just shifts his weight on his next step to move closer to Aaron, now that he’s allowed. Their shoulders brush. Kevin thinks again about Renee’s apologetic expression, and almost bites off his own tongue.
It’s two rooms later—after Matt had to pull Nicky back from peering into a coffin before a guillotine descended on him, and Dan swore loudly at a fortune-teller who appeared suddenly at her side and kept ominously intoning her name while Allison told Neil, yeah, so that’s why you never say anyone’s name in one of these things—that Kevin finally says, “It’s dark.”
Aaron opens his mouth. Pauses. Shuts it. Hums.
Kevin thinks he’s going to have to say more. Explain himself. Talk about claustrophobic spaces, stuck in the dark, threats of violence.
Then Aaron takes his hand, holding it tight, and it’s like the air goes out of Kevin’s lungs.
He thinks about the car ride over, when Aaron and Nicky debated which horror movie to watch later that night. Nicky had been texting the other car at the time, chiming in with suggestions from the upperclassmen, most of which Aaron had shot down. His knee had kept bouncing, the way it did when he was animated, or irritated, or annoyed, or over-tired, or restless, or a thousand other things that Aaron sometimes was, that Kevin sometimes noticed. He’d wanted to reach out and still Aaron’s leg. He hadn’t.
He thinks about a week ago at Eden’s, downing seven shots as he sat at the table, ignoring whatever the fuck Neil and Andrew were doing as he watched Aaron—fucking wasted—tilt his head back on the dance floor, the lights illuminating the line of his throat. He thinks about an hour before they left for Eden’s that same night, arguing with Aaron about something that didn’t really matter, until it did, and he was pressing Aaron against the plexiglass of the court walls, snapping at him, and then kissing him, and kissing him, and kissing him. He thinks about Aaron—pinned halfway up the wall, Kevin raising him up for a better angle, Aaron’s hand leaving an imprint on the plexiglass—kissing him back.
He thinks about a month before that, on the bus on their way back from a game against Belmonte, Aaron sitting beside him and—with a long-suffering sigh—offering one of his earbuds to Kevin. It hadn’t been music Kevin knew, which Kevin had said, to which Aaron had scoffed, and said, You don’t know anything that came out after the 1800s, which was rude, but possibly fair. Still, Kevin had argued the point, and Aaron had objected to each of his statements, and somehow they’d ended up spending the entire journey going through Aaron’s playlists while they tried to—in Aaron’s words—find ‘an actual music taste’ for Kevin.
Kevin thinks about all of these things, and about Renee’s apology, and about Aaron’s hand in his, and about Aaron shifting closer, and Aaron’s sidelong glance, and he swallows.
A clown could try murder him right now, he thinks, and he might not even notice.
Slowly, he squeezes Aaron’s hand: smaller than his, but firm, unwavering.
After a moment, Aaron squeezes back.
#kevaaron#kevin day#aaron minyard#aftg#aftg fic#jane writes sometimes#flash fic game#i think the last one i posted was the first one i did lmao. the twins one for eddie#but i’ve been doing these weekly since june lmao. maybe i’ll post one of the others later#possibly there’s some awkward phrasings to clean up but i wrote this. napped bc migraine. woke up just now.#and still a little too achy to look at it again lmao so i bequeath it raw#jane kevaaron#jane kvar ficlets#jane ficlets
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A demon among angels, huh? 👀
Let it be known that I don't think Daryl is a demon lol. Obviously, he's a good man and a moral character. I do, however, think he's a fallen angel. With his tattered, black leather wings, his fall from grace and journey through hell has reminded me of the literary Lucifer. Lucifer means "light bringer" and also "morning star," which is the name of the weapon that Daryl has wielded since season 10, the eponymous episode, in which he leads his people into rebellion against Alpha, a psychopath who certainly regards herself as a god.
In Christian texts, Lucifer, an angel, was cast out of heaven for questioning God and even believing that he could become God, as well as for recruiting a third of God's angels to join him in his rebellion against God. In Dante's Inferno, Lucifer is portayed as a cold and grotesque being in the Underworld, lonely and chewing the heads of betrayers such as Judas Iscariot. He's not a villain, per se. He's just lost, and in the old literature, he was never found again.
Re: the dialogue with Genet:
Speculation time. I believe Daryl is being used by Losang, and I think that Genet knows this, and I think that's what she's referring to in this scene, and why she's laughing maniacally. I think that possibly, Genet is not the "true" villain of the story. She is a villain, but that's just our current point of view. We don't know what Losang wants, but we do know that he wants something that has to do with Laurent. We know that Genet is his enemy. We also know that Genet's faction the Power of the Living has persecuted the Wildfire scientists, hunting, jailing, and killing them since the Fall. Since persecution is bad, we all assume that what Genet did was bad, and that she's the bad guy. But what if it's not really that simple? And what if she truly believed she had a good reason to do what she did? Everybody views her as the devil, but what if the "angels" that she fights are not as angelic as they seem?
For example, what if the scientists were abducting and experimenting on innocent people? On children? Would the fact that they are working on a cure for mankind excuse this? We have proven precedent for this kind of thing happening before, in both World Beyond and The Ones Who Live. The CRM has been used as a major proxy for the magical science of unethical thinking. This exact same conflict (sacrificing the few for the greater good) is also explored in "Coda," when Dawn tries to convince Beth to stay, because her sacrifice is important, because what she's doing there could be "the most important thing she does in her life."
Of course, we have no idea what Dawn is talking about.
We know now, too, that Laurent will be taken from Daryl and Isabelle, as TD predicted some time back, and I'm guessing it will be Losang who takes him, whether by force, or because he somehow gaslights Laurent into going with him willingly. Where is Losang taking him, and why? What is the "ceremony?" What is Losang's relationship to the scientists that Genet hates so much? Why is he Genet's enemy?
Realize that this is all pretty much hypothetical speculation at this point, so just consider it food for thought.
Re: Losang's motivations at the Nest:
Remember that Daryl was outside with Laurent when somebody came and told him that Losang wanted him at that meeting, where they discussed what to do about Fallou and Emile. Losang dismisses Daryl's suggestions, obviously, because he's a *pacifist,* but if Losang truly didn't want to hear it, or if he truly didn't want others to hear it, then he wouldn't have told Daryl to come inside. He wanted Daryl there. Because, ultimately, he needs him. He just doesn't want the others to know this, or to know why.
Later, Losang tells Daryl that a team is being assembled to intercept Genet. Daryl tells him he is going to go. Losang doesn't say no. He simply *discourages* the use of violence. He is *unhappy* with how Daryl conducts himself, and yet...
He knows that Daryl will do whatever it takes to get Fallou and Emile back. If he fails, or people die, then Losang can simply blame Daryl for being too aggressive, overly violent, for rushing in too soon. It makes Losang look good. If he succeeds fully, and he even manages to kill Genet, well, then, that's great. It makes Losang look good, too. Losang is using Daryl as a means to an end with Genet, but he also fears that Daryl's influence on Laurent will be too strong. Daryl is an A, remember. He may not relish the fact, but he is very good at leading people, particularly the disenfranchised and the meek.
Like Dawn, Losang needs his "wards" to be as weak as possible. They need to be Bs. If they begin to fight back, then they might accidentally find out what the hell is really going on here, and that's bad. (I have really longwinded, detailed theories about what the hell could be going on here, but it's not time yet for those lol). Anyway, commence the comparison between Daryl at the Nest and Beth at Grady. More on that soon. But first.
Re: Lucifer Archetypes:
This is a slight digression. I have begun to think of the literary Lucifer archetype, the trope of the renegade, fallen angel, because it's indicative often of a character who is struggling with their faith, and struggling with how to proceed in a derelict world. This is very relevant to Daryl right now.
This trope is not relegated to Daryl in TWDU. Though he's the one with the wings, there are many Lucifer archetypes in the series, including major characters like Rick, Shane, Madison Clark, and Father Gabriel. These are essentially rebellious thinkers, revolutionaries, a lot like Daryl, who, at one point or another, get a little too ahead of their skis and go tumbling off the mountain, face first. They lose their pious nature, their goodness, their faith in God and in people, but the key to being the hero in a sick and dying world is that, despite the odds, they find their faith again. This is where the Lucifer trope becomes, essentially, a Christ allegory.
I know that @frangipanilove has written brilliantly about the Lucifer/Christ dichotomy, and while this is mostly unrelated to that, I think there is some similarity at work. Lucifer and Christ are two sides to one coin. Often times, in a story, a character must fall from grace before they can rise again and lead their people to salvation. Of course, not all characters make it past their descent. Some of them are too far gone (Shane, I'm looking at you) and for some, the jury is, essentially still out (like Father Gabriel or Madison Clark).
Beth, by the way, also struggles with her faith while she's at Grady. It's quiet, but she risks losing who she used to be. One of the reasons her "death" is so frustrating, in fact, is that she sort of dies at a low point. She is framed as a hero, and yet, we never really get to see her "rise again." Not truly. Her death is senseless, the point of view confusing. We don't know what she's thinking, or why she does the things she does. Her journey is incomplete.
Re: Dirty Work
Now, more on Beth at Grady. Beth, while in the process of trying to figure out what she believes, is, like Daryl, used by some sort of manipulative "superior" to do the "dirty work." In searching for who to believe, she finds herself caught in the crossfire, a puppet in a war that doesn't even involve her. This is what spurs her renegade spirit, and her desire to rebel. This is SO MUCH like Daryl in France, right down to the part where Dawn is trying to convince Beth to stay, against her own instincts, I don't even know where to begin.
The phrase dirty work is interesting because it shows up several times in relationship to Daryl. Pope mentions "dirty work," too, in "Rendition." He tells Daryl about his mercenary company, who were once hired by "politicians" to do their "dirty work."
The role of a mercenary is related to the cardinal sin of indifference, more popularly known as sloth. Indifference is used to describe sinners who cannot make difficult choices, who will not choose sides in the great big war of our lives. Yes, this is a sin. Perpetrators of indifference only make choices that are most beneficial to them in the moment, or which constitute the path of least resistance. Biblically, it's often associated with one turning away from God, because making choices to live a life dedicated to Christ have become too demanding. In the episode "Indifference" (4.4), Carol essentially accuses Rick of such, re: "You can be a farmer, Rick, but you can't only be a farmer." Maybe Carol acted rashly in killing Karen and David, but at the same time, in growing too comfortable with his situation at the prison, Rick has essentially lost his moral compass. He's missing the war.
Indifferent characters often end up doing a LOT of the dirty work in a war, and they make many deadly mistakes, because their code is compromised. Wolves on either side of the war can sense this and have figured out how to use them to their benefit. They pay them, they threaten them, they manipulate them, etc. etc. etc. To win the war, you have to choose a side. That's the message. Otherwise, you get used, as a mercenary.
This keeps coming up. The concept of having to make difficult choices, of having to choose sides in a war you never asked to be a part of. Somewhere along the line, you find yourself doing things that will haunt you for the rest of your life, and then later, you realize that these choices came at the behest of some fancy "politician," be it a police officer, the President of the United States, or some other "diplomatic" wolf who used you. While Beth was busy trying to save her friend Carol and trying to figure out how to escape from Grady, Dawn was busy using her, to kill not one but TWO of her officers, in a bid to further her own agenda. It is, in fact, this very indiscretion that finally turns Beth against Dawn for good, empowering her to finally choose a side.
Remember, too, that while *we* and Team Family referred to Pope's group as the Reapers, which are, in and of themselves, like "angels" of death, Pope never once refers to them as such. Pope calls his people "The Chosen Ones."
He calls them this because, at the end of the world, while doing their dirty work, they were in a city that, like so many others, was napalmed during Operation Cobalt, and they walked out of the fire, not only alive, but completely untouched, "without a scratch." Pope seems to believe that his people are chosen and protected by God, and he anoints Daryl as such. They are a religious organization. They may appear to be misguided, but they chose God. So while they're angels of death, sure, they're also apparently immortal, Christ-like figures out to cleanse the land of evil. They accept Daryl into their home. They feed him, defend him. We like Daryl, so this is good, right? In a lot of ways, in TWDU, whether someone is an Angel of Death or a Chosen One, a villain or a hero, is simply a matter of perspective, which can change dramatically depending on where we are in the story, at any given time. That's part of what I think is going on this season of DD, with Genet and Losang. I think it's also a really important theme to remember when dealing with a character like Daryl, who has many sides and is capable of many things.
I really don't know what any of this means yet, by the way. And I'm kind of tired and so I know I'm rambling on and on about angels and Jesus and Lucifer, etc. etc. But there has to be a reason that Losang, like Dawn did to Beth, is using Daryl to do his "dirty work." I think it says something about Daryl, and about Beth, that they are living in limbo. I think that Pope and the Reapers are likely meant to function as a sort of allegory here. They're what happens when this sort of thing plays out to its most demonic conclusion. You get somebody like Leah, who has become so twisted that she can no longer function in any sort of cooperative society. She ends up trying to kill the same man she once loved, because she's been manipulated by Lance Hornby, a wolf. Leah dies a mercenary, but she wasn't always one. At one point, she helped Daryl, offered him comfort, etc.
Similar to Shane, she's like the cautionary tale, what could happen to somebody like Daryl OR Beth if they become "too far gone," and they can no longer get on the right path toward redemption. That's what I'm trying to get at with all the Lucifer/Christ/Indifference stuff. Daryl must choose a side, and he must rise again (or, he could descend forever, though I think that's unlikely lol). The side he chooses may not even be Genet or Losang. In fact, it probably won't. It will likely be rebellious, but this, in and of itself, IS a side for a character like Daryl. This stuff also informs what we never saw with Beth, despite narrative promises that were made in season 5. Beth certainly led her own rebellion in the halls of Grady Memorial, even though we saw just a snag.
Anyway. Whatever happens with Daryl and Losang, I essentially think it could really inform our understanding of what happened back at Grady, too. We'll just have to wait and see.
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An Analysis of Loft Theory, or "Leo Briefly Loses His Mind About 'Dark Oak Death Laser' Before Remembering He's Writing An Analysis"
Skyblock Kingdoms. bottom text. it's a series where like a third of the players have some sort of storyline going that's revolving around the void below. as things progress, it's getting more clear that the void is alive and can grant some sort of power to those that feed it (if Trog's void magic is any indication), and a major conflict is between those that appease the void and those that stand against it.
obviously this is going to spark theories. i've been tossing things around with solar and the dnerds, and some of it has been shared on here, but we're far from the only ones taking a guess at where the story might go. someone in Avid's youtube comments has written several paragraphs of ideas, and it's something i keep coming back to for various reasons.
let's talk about Loft Theory.
The Theory:
Avid's Episode 5:
The Void vs Avid’s Patron. Hmmm… I think I know who that is, and why they want him to run OSSHA. I think it’s another entity, like the void, which I’m filling The Loft. Essentially, the sky vs the Void. I think it’s like a Yin-Yang type balance, and they both want control of the new realm. The Terra, or ground in between them. It’s a battle for No-Man’s land, and they’ll each choose Avatars among the poor mortals caught in their struggle. Being so close to these entities is also why they can bend the rules of reality, such as respawning. Little do either the Void or the Loft know, there’s a third entity. The Terra itself. Every single block is imbued with the power of the third entity, the Terra. And it’s none-too happy with these entities fighting over it. So it is choosing its own Avatars. Viking and Fix for some. They’re even building a massive wall that spans Loft and Void. It’s still unknown if they have servants who don’t know they’re being influenced by these entities. Ruby or Viking could be some of those, where they don’t even know they are working with these entities, but that remains to be seen.
Avid's Episode 6:
Alright, new prediction. Seeing its weak state through Avid’s eyes, the Loft is going to try to rally its servants, and kill the Void, likely using the satellite. Mangrove will try to fight back, and I think Avid will be caught in the middle, as he now has sympathy for the void. Then, it splits two way. Theory 1) They fail, but the server is divided. The Void is angry, starts to lash out, and more seemingly random void deaths start to happen. Meanwhile, The Terra continues its rise to power, as the more blocks that exist, the stronger it gets. And with Moss farms and tree farms, it starts to grow. Theory 2: They kill the void. Right as Avid seems able to Deescalate the situation, stressing the need for balance, the Terra reveals itself. Viking and Fix suddenly jump in, blasting a beam downwards from their kingdom, maybe even blowing up OSSHA, as the Terra Laughs. The void, (bottom half of the sky.) turns blood red, and Mangrove is broken. Then, Avid slowly starts losing it. The Loft rejects him, and his best friends helped kill the Void, who he now believes was innocent. The episode ends with a really touching scene between Doovid and Avid.
Avid's Episode 7:
New lore! 5:04 shows a white and black skyline, with the camera (presumably Avid) starting mostly white (sky), and transitioning down to black (void). This seems to suggest Avid is turning away from the Loft, towards the Void. Of course, the Terra is represented by the trees. Doovid transforming into a monkey person is interesting, as it seems to indicate the influence of the Terra. But the Loft also used the Phantoms to try to strike down Doovid and wipe his elytra, perhaps realizing with his fascination with structures like the Trail ruins, as well as his dominance over the sky with his flying machines, that he’s influencing Avid away from the Lofts control. Now, with Avid aligning with Mangrove, the void’s servants, as well as gaining power to fly, not given by the Loft, it’s on its back foot. Interesting.
that's a lot of words! let's break it down into the bare essentials.
The Summary:
the entity behind OSSHA that Avid is working for is the sky, aka the Loft
the Loft and the Void are supposed to be balanced, but are fighting for control
they are choosing specific players as avatars, which lets them respawn
there's also a third entity, the Terra, which is the actual islands themselves
the Terra is in the middle of the power struggle and is choosing avatars as well (Viking and Fix)
Loft, Void, and Terra might have players working for them unknowingly (Ruby and Viking)
the Loft is going to kill the Void with the OSSHA research satellite
either it fails and the Void is going to retaliate by killing more players, or...
...the Terra interrupts Avid's peace talk between Loft and Void to blow up OSSHA and kill the Void with a death laser
the Loft rejects Avid for trying to bring balance and the Void is dead, so Avid starts going insane
monkeyification is caused by the Terra
the Loft is sabotaging Doovid to stop him from bringing Avid closer to the Terra (?)
these were posted on Avid's videos, and i'm not sure who else they watch besides Avid, so i can't expect them to know everything that everyone is doing on SBK-- there's 20 people now and over 50 episodes between them, it's a lot to catch up on. however, as the person that is watching every POV and episode for some godforsaken reason, i know Way Too Much and can try to address this theory point-by-point to figure out what's cool or plausible, what's unlikely, and what's just... bizarre, to me.
(there will likely be gaps in my own analysis, though. again, over 50 episodes. im planning to jot down notes on every story-related thing that happens, but that project hasnt been started yet so this is going off of memory. ill keep "information from after the theories were posted" to a minimum, though, because obviously that info wasnt even there at the time.)
Entry 1:
the concept of the Loft itself is interesting. Avid is clearly working for someone-- he's told Marmalade as much, and he's also described his role in OSSHA as an enforcer, rather than the head of it.
there's also a bit more about Avid and his role as a pawn to forces greater than him, but i'll tackle that in another section because it's more relevant there. but, for now, we can say with confidence that Avid has a history with being used to carry out a deity's will.
however, it's that history that makes me unsure about the Loft being Avid's patron. again, i'll go into it a bit more later, but it's likely that Avid is working for somebody we have seen, just... not yet in SBK.
the Terra is.. a bit shakier. again, cool in concept, but the likeliness of being an actual element feels low. the closest we might get so far is the Birch Kingdom being Cursed Lands and a cause of that being "the Terra just really hates these guys", but Fool also made a joke about his pre-established god Atium not liking birch, so.
however, the entire rest of the theory is built on these foundations, so let's follow the premise of there being two other entities and go from there. why are Viking and Fix Terra? sure, they have the Ant Farm, but you could argue that as being more of a bridge between Void and Loft considering it goes from buildheight to the bottom of the world. Entry 2 mentions that the Terra's power comes from the blocks placed, and Fix definitely places a lot of blocks (as well as Dark Oak having the cobble/basalt/deepslate mega-generator), but you could argue that Spruce would be a better fit because they're the kingdom able to mass-produce dirt, and were also the original source of moss. i love Dark Oak, but this feels out of place.
namechecking Ruby and Viking as potential unknowing servants is fun, though. again, i don't know what POVs besides Avid they watch, but Ruby and the status of the timeline are under observation by something (R.C.) and are, as far as we know, oblivious. this also normally applies to Viking and his mysterious observer V.P., but we haven't actually had any V.P. sightings in SBK and instead have been dealing with someone else.
(there's also a lot more going on with Ruby and Viking below the surface, but most of it is from series outside of SBK and has been somewhat acknowledged, but not enough for me to confidently go on a tangent. TL;DR they're the incarnations of time and space respectively and some versions of them know about it and have power over their domains. although if Viking is space incarnate, then maybe that would be a point to him being a Terra avatar?)
Entry 2:
i'm going to be very blunt, this comment is the one i take the most issue with. this entry is the reason im making this post. this entry is the reason why Loft Theory haunts me. but im going to skip over the "did you just write a whole-ass alternate universe fanfic in avid's comments and package it as a theory????" thing and focus on actually addressing the theory.
killing the Void with the satellite is... um, ridiculous. sorry. Avid has been very clear that it's a research satellite meant to listen to the Void, which is what happens in that episode. and, speaking of that episode, does Avid have sympathy for the Void? he hears a voice pleading for help, but he's more shocked than anything else after being skeptical of Marmalade hearing the Void. (we do find out later that the satellite is capable of doing more than just listen, but that was after this episode and definitely not something Avid was aware it could do.)
what does sound likely is the idea of more random void deaths as the Void gets more uppity. even if it's not in response to an OSSHA-powered murder attempt, the fact that OSSHA are continuing to stand in the way of feeding the void means that the Void is going to have to get what it needs some other way. we've seen this already with the Void destroying the bridge to Mangrove. plus, as mentioned, the server is now at a state where island expansions are happening fast (just look at Elffe!), so the Terra gaining a foothold would make sense to start around here. out of the two forks in this entry, this is the one that makes the most sense of me.
okay. we now need to talk about the Dark Oak Death Laser.
Right as Avid seems able to Deescalate the situation, stressing the need for balance, the Terra reveals itself. Viking and Fix suddenly jump in, blasting a beam downwards from their kingdom, maybe even blowing up OSSHA, as the Terra Laughs.
where do i start
okay. as a reminder, this is a theory. it's presented in story format at this point, but this is a theory of what will happen next. they call it a theory. so i am going to do my best to address this as a theory and not completely lose my mind. mission failed, mind lost
so the idea here is that Avid is going to change from being OSSHA's enforcer to instead mediating between OSSHA/the Loft and the Void. (why? i dunno.) he's gonna rally the Loft and Void avatars (so, Mangrove and... uh. whoever else would side with the Loft besides Avid, i guess. not specified. Cherry, maybe, because OSSHA?) and get them to realize that they need to restore balance (...isn't that what Mangrove is trying to do with the Void in the first place?)
...and then Viking and Fix are going to blow up OSSHA with a laser beam and kill the Void in the name of the Terra.
how
why
What?
are they going to... build a laser beam? for the purpose of Void annihilation?
why is it a death laser
have they just been kicking it watching everybody slapfight before going "alright, hit the big red button"
why Fix? i can kinda see Viking deciding to do something this level of reckless, but Fix is a chill dude (ignoring the part where Fix isn't actually involved in any storylines so far besides having a Birch Box subscription)
how do you kill the Void? the avatars, maybe (RIP Mangrove), but the Void is literally the bottom half of the world. it's the nothingness below the islands. it's the infinite abyss. how is a laserbeam going to kill the void
why is it a death laser
it's Skyblock, i'm pretty sure somebody would notice Viking and Fix building a death laser pointed at the void in their kingdom
is this supposed to be a season finale kinda thing? the whole comment is phrased like it's supposed to be Next Time On Skyblock Kingdoms. im so confused
...how would it even hit OSSHA? isn't OSSHA HQ between Jungle and Cherry? are they gonna do a sick laser trickshot? i'd love to see that, actually, that would own.
please understand. every time i talk about Loft Theory with solar it devolves into me going "dark oak death laser?????" over and over. this freaking thing is haunting me. i cannot take loft theory seriously because of dark oak kingdom killing the void by firing a beam from their kingdom and blowing up OSSHA. although im sure doak wouldnt be too opposed to blowing up OSSHA, actually. lmao
OKAY. MOVING ON. Mangrove is broken. kinda weird how Mangrove, despite being namedropped frequently, doesn't do anything in this theory. youd think Marmalade at minimum would have things to say about Avid starting to be swayed over to the Void, or the potential of the research station as an anti-void weapon, or the dark oak death laser. void turns blood-red, cool visual (especially if this happens at nightfall).
if solar was writing this post with me (they arent), they would probably point out around now that saying Avid slowly starts losing it implies he hasn't already been losing it this entire time. which is very funny but im going to meet this where it is and go, yeah, Avid accidentally having a hand in the murdering of an entity (especially after his past-- we're nearly there) would probably mess him up real bad. maybe even cause him to revert back to the "Low sanity will set us free." state he was in pre-SBK.
sure, okay, the entity that does not yet canonically exist is actually a petty jerk that dumps Avid at the side of the road. (okay, that's a bit harsh, but another thing that rubs me the wrong way is that how further installments of the Loft Theory treat it like the Loft already 100% exists to the point of having a personality that can develop and have surprise twists. we're speculating that the Void has a personality and goals because we have actually seen evidence to that in the series. the Loft, at this point in time, is purely theoretical.)
wait what is Doovid going to be doing through all this. he has a touching scene with Avid, i guess, at the end of the episode (because this theory is framed like an actual episode plot going beat-by-beat this bothers me SO BAD.)
okay. uh. obviously that's been mostly-debunked by the episode right after, even without me poking at it. so let's put the Dark Oak Death Laser behind us and pretend my sanity levels are a little bit better than sbk!Avid's.
Entry 3:
okay, now we talk about who i think Avid's patron is.
a white and black skyline, with the camera (presumably Avid) starting mostly white (sky), and transitioning down to black (void). This seems to suggest Avid is turning away from the Loft, towards the Void. Of course, the Terra is represented by the trees.
what they are describing here is a brief flicker of another place in Avid's episode. Ruby tells Avid that he's an open book and everyone knows everything about him, and then there's a jarring noise and we see this.
this is not Skyblock Kingdoms. this is from 100 Days in a Minecraft Nightmare.
to recap: that's a three-part series where Avid plays with a bunch of horror datapacks and has just, like, the absolutely worst time. "the absolutely worst time" includes him spiraling into selling his soul to the Dark Lord and doing sacrifices in his name and spending a lot of time at low sanity. this escalates until he's stuck in Incendium, with a new voice telling him to find a sanctum if he wants to survive. once he's reached that goal, the new entity is revealed as the Nameless King of Incendium and task Avid with killing the Dark Lord. however, following that order has the regretful consequence of Avid falling into Limbo.
that... looks familiar, doesn't it?
Avid himself has confirmed in both his own discord and the SBK Community discord that these are the same character, but it wasn't until now that we got that connection in an episode. even then, you'd have to have seen Nightmare to recognize it, which is probably where that idea of it being another Void/Loft/Terra reference came from.
the theory that i myself am gravitating towards (until we get more information) is that Avid's patron is still the Nameless King. they seem to have the same relationship, and it's possible that the NK fished Avid back up out of Limbo and into the kingdoms in return for him continuing to do his bidding. we dont know! but this is the one part of Loft Theory i can say with 100% confidence is not true.
anyway. the Terra being responsible for Doovid's monkeyification is... also somewhat strange, because obviously that happened to Avid after he fell into the Void. we still dont know why that happened, but Avid has hinted that it's another "you don't really leave superhell" moment. also at this point i think the universe just hates Doovid in particular
plus, i'm not sure you could describe Avid as "aligned with the Void's servants" just yet. he's starting to come around on Mangrove, sure, but it sounds like it's an attempt in spite of their Void worship. especially because it wasn't the Void calling for help, it was Leon.
...speaking of Leon, kinda weird that this doesn't even acknowledge End Kingdom at all? it was Leon's voice that Avid picked up with the research station, the fact that there's been another kingdom out there this entire time is a whole thing, you'd think that would come into play. instead they're not referenced whatsoever. i dunno, it just bugs me.
uh. anyway. so that's what i think of Loft Theory! why did i do this
#leo.txt#sbk#meta analysis stuff#skyblock kingdoms#this has a little bit of me being a hater in it sorry. i tried but as you can see from the title there was a death laser#this is mostly for benefit of myself bc im pretty sure the theorist isnt on tumblr At All#sometimes you need to spend. a very long time. yelling at clouds
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Martyrs and Kings AND ZOMBIES!!!
A/N: I'm so excited to share this spooky, sexy one-shot sequel to Martyrs and Kings! I've been planning this fic for months, and I hope y'all love it. Quick note: obviously, this fic contains spoilers for M&K; however, it was beta-read by my partner who has not (yet) read the original fic, and they said it worked as a stand-alone story, so if you haven't read M&K yet and don't mind spoilers, read on!
This fic is dedicated to the amazing @clonemedickix in gratitude for all the love and support that you've shown me and so many others in the fandom. Thank you so much for everything you do, and particularly thank you for your feedback on the field medicine. You are a rock star!
One final caveat: I am a horror wimp, but I did my best. Please don't expect Stephen King 💜
Pairing: Post-stasis Kix x OFC Dr. Maree Finnall
Rating: M (minors DNI)
Wordcount: 5k (this just made M&K 10% longer lol)
Warnings and tags: peril; suspense; violence; blood and injury; gore; medical procedures; adult language; SMUT; oral sex; face-sitting; Kix activating my competence kink like no other. IMPORTANT: an additional content warning is listed at the end of the fic due to spoilers. If you have triggers, please check the end of the fic for the BOLD PINK TEXT before reading.
Summary: The crew of the Meson Martinet goes after the score of a lifetime and discover that they may have bitten off more than they can chew.
Suggested listening:
Martyrs and Kings chapter 1 | Masterlist | Sign up for my tag list
“B1.5-series battle droids are a myth,” Kix said firmly. “You’re wasting your time.”
“The good doctor doesn’t share your opinion,” Quiggold argued.
Sidon Ithano, as usual, said nothing, his crimson helmet swiveling slowly toward Maree. Kix turned to her as well, his jaw set, his eyes full of confidence that she would back him up. Kriff it. She absolutely hated being caught in the middle of this argument.
She cleared her throat. “There’s… some debate in the academic community about their existence, actually. If they ever were created, they were never deployed at any recorded battle—and it’s a good thing, too.”
“Why is that, exactly?” Reeg Brosna asked.
He was sprawled on the bench of the dinette, his arm draped around Orys Brenko as the research assistant perked up immediately.
“Is it true that they used nanodroids to retrofit original B1-series droids?” Brenko asked, his face flushing dark green with excitement.
“That is one theory,” Maree said circumspectly, keenly aware of Kix’s scrutiny. “According to contemporary sources—and noting that those sources are unreliable at best—the B1.5s had significantly upgraded blaster resistance. There was another rumor as well, even less credible.”
“What rumor?” Reveth interrupted, leaning forward over the table, drawing Ithano’s attention subtly.
“They said the B1.5s could keep going even if you blasted their processors,” Kix cut in before Maree could reply. “It was a stupid story the commandos made up to scare the shinies.”
“But what if it wasn’t?” Brosna asked. “Indestructible battle droids? They’d be worth a fortune.”
“Even if they don’t exist, the haul from a Techno Union stronghold could set us up for life,” Reveth pointed out. “I say we go after it.”
Squeaky grunted his agreement, predictably. The Gamorrean was always guaranteed to follow the pretty Twi’lek’s lead. Reveth could have suggested a nude spacewalk, and Squeaky would have thought it was a grand idea. Brosna and Brenko voted in favor as well. Kix voted against, and Maree did as well, purely out of solidarity. Privately, she was consumed with curiosity about the B1.5s, and she couldn’t deny that the possibility of such a groundbreaking discovery was alluring in the extreme.
Quiggold voted in favor, and Ithano abstained, and so it was decided: the crew would send a team to scout the Techno Union stronghold, and if they found anything worthwhile, the rest of Ithano’s small fleet would join them.
“We’re gonna need your expertise, Doc,” Reveth said to Maree.
“Absolutely not,” Kix snapped.
Maree glanced at him in surprise. It was unlike him to try to overrule her choice, and she didn’t care for it. “Reveth is right, Kix. I’ll be able to identify the highest-value items, and I have a good idea of what’s in demand.”
Kix looked away, clearly unhappy, but recognizing that he’d overstepped. “Fine. But if you’re going, I’m going, too.”
“We’ll need you to stay and command the fleet from the Scorpion while the captain is away,” Quiggold interjected.
“Fuck that,” Kix growled. “Brosna is my first mate—he can take command from the Scorpion. When it comes to Maree’s safety, I outrank everyone on this ship.”
“Brosna doesn’t have the experience—” Quiggold began.
“Agreed,” Ithano said, his deep voice cutting through the buzz of conversation and debate in the Martinet’s galley. “Quiggold, command the fleet from the Martinet. Brosna, take the Scorpion. Reveth, Squeaky, you’re with us.”
The captain’s decision was final, and within a few hours, Kix, Maree, Reveth, Squeaky, and Ithano had boarded the Scorpion’s shuttle Stinger and departed for the desolate moon where the Techno Union base had sat untouched for over fifty years.
“Fifty credits says we find nothing,” Kix said.
“I’ll take that bet,” Reveth replied.
Squeaky grunted his agreement. Ithano said nothing.
“Maree, you want in on this action?” Reveth asked.
“Kix and I have a private bet on the side,” Maree said with a mischievous twinkle as Kix shot her an inscrutable look.
Reveth smirked. “Sounds like fun.”
“Oh, it will be,” Maree replied. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of crimson as Ithano moved through the shuttle. On impulse, she leaned in and whispered in Reveth’s ear cone.
Reveth’s eyes widened as her mechanical hand instinctively settled on Maree’s waist. “Damn. You and Kix want a third for that?”
Ithano’s helmet whipped to the side as he suddenly became very interested in the conversation. Maree suppressed a laugh.
“What do you think, Kix?” Maree asked with faux innocence. “Can Reveth play with us?”
Kix eyed her with a perfectly neutral expression that warned Maree he knew exactly what she was up to. “You gotta win that bet if you want to call the shots.”
“You’re on,” Maree replied immediately.
Ithano’s helmet swiveled from Maree, to Reveth, to Kix, and back to Reveth, but he said nothing. Kix merely turned back to the navigation controls and continued to pilot the shuttle toward their destination.
The old Techno Union stronghold was on a remote, swampy moon, and the dense vegetation had grown thickly over the past five decades. Kix was forced to set the shuttle down several klicks from the decrepit base. He didn’t like it. He didn’t kriffing like any of this. It was too far; they’d be too exposed; their progress would be too slow in the mud. He glanced at Maree and felt his anxiety spike.
How the kark am I supposed to protect her out there?
He double-checked her gear as she suited up, adjusting the fit of her holster for a quicker draw. He quickly inspected her blaster before handing it to her.
“What’s going on?” she asked quietly. “You’re on edge.”
He shook his head. “I don’t have a good feeling about this mission.”
“It’s not the first time we’ve gone into one of these old strongholds,” she pointed out. “We’ll be okay.”
He nodded. “Yeah. Yeah. You’re right. Just… Keep your eyes open.”
“I will,” she promised. “And I know you’ll watch my back. Just like I’ll watch yours.”
He traced his fingertips along her jaw as he pulled her closer to himself. He couldn’t feel her soft warmth through his armor, but her nearness felt comforting regardless. He kissed her gently, threading his fingers through the hair that she wore in loose braids.
She looked so different now than she had the first time he’d met her two years earlier; her elegant wardrobe replaced with sturdy, practical clothing meant to withstand rough field work and the occasional blaster fight. But underneath, she still smelled like tea and honey and home. She was still the same—still his Maree.
“If you’re finished sucking the lips off her face, can we get going?” Reveth teased. “Droids aren’t gonna find themselves.”
Despite Kix’s misgivings, the trek to the derelict base was uneventful. Squeaky stayed with the shuttle in case they needed a quick extraction, while Ithano, Reveth, and Maree hacked their way through the underbrush along with Kix. It was slow going, and the swamp was creepy as hell, but eventually they made it to the plastcrete and durasteel structure.
There was no power to the base, so they cut their way through the sealed exterior blast doors. Once inside, the group fell silent as they made their way through the dusty, cobwebbed hallways. The base was pitch black inside, illuminated only by their own torches, and once again, Kix felt the simmering anxiety in his gut begin to roil.
“Something’s been living in here,” Reveth muttered, training the beam of her flashlight on a tangle of debris that was unmistakably a nest for something… large.
Kix didn’t respond, but he reached out and pulled Maree closer to himself, then drew one of his DC-17s. Ithano brought up the rear, his blaster rifle ready.
“Control center should be just ahead,” Maree whispered. “Reveth might be able to restore power from there.”
“We’ll be karked if she can’t,” Kix replied quietly.
“Happy thoughts, Kix,” Maree murmured.
Right. Happy thoughts. Spiced biscuits. Unlimited bacta. Maree’s tits. More credits than I’ve ever seen in my life. The Scorpion. Weapons caches. Maree’s thighs. Maree’s thighs on my shoulders. Maree’s thighs framing my face while she rides—uh, weapons caches.
“Control center,” Reveth called under her breath as she reached a sealed doorway.
They pried it open enough to squeeze through. Kix went first, sweeping his light across the room as he scanned for threats. Reveth followed, then Maree and Ithano. Reveth headed straight for the control console and plugged in her small power unit and began to fiddle with the controls.
“Happy thoughts,” Kix mumbled, returning to the doorway to keep watch over the pitch-dark corridor.
Within a few moments, Reveth let out a quiet, triumphant huff as the control console flickered to life, dimly illuminating the room. She went to work immediately, interfacing her datapad with the ancient console.
“Damn. Main power cells are depleted,” she said. “I’ll try to at least get emergency lighting turned on.”
“Why would the power be depleted if the base has been abandoned for decades?” Maree asked. “The Techno Union had extraordinarily advanced power cells that were capable of storing energy far longer.”
“Unless something used it,” Reveth said.
Kix swiveled his head to stare at the Twi’lek.
“Like what?” he bit out.
She shrugged. “Dunno. But we might find out as soon as I get the data decrypted.”
A distant, deep hum sounded, and red light flickered on throughout the base.
“Nicely done,” Maree told Reveth.
“Let’s get the data and get the kriff out of here,” Kix growled, hating every minute of their time in the farking spooky base.
“Working on it,” Reveth snapped. “Think you can do it faster?”
Ithano glanced between Kix and Reveth, then moved to join Kix at the doorway, blaster rifle raised. “What is it?”
“Not sure,” Kix replied quietly. “Something doesn’t feel right.”
Ever reticent, Ithano merely nodded and took up position across from him. Kix nodded in silent gratitude that the pirate captain didn’t question his instincts. Then again, the Crimson Corsair hadn’t survived this long by ignoring his gut.
Kix’s eyes darted to Maree again. She leaned over the console, scrolling rapidly through the data files, searching for any hint of the information they sought. He turned back toward the hallway, his eyes scanning it watchfully.
“No kriffin’ way,” Maree gasped.
“What?” Kix and Reveth demanded in unison.
“You just lost a bet, my love,” Maree told Kix.
“Wait, really?” Reveth asked. “It’s real?”
“‘Project Ophio,’” Maree read, her voice low and hurried. “Principal investigator Vamb Tebrem. Project number T327H1138X99. Primary focus of study is to develop experimental NM-K reconstitutors with the purpose of enhancing the durability and combat acumen of extant B-1 series assets…” Her voice trailed off as she leaned closer to the console, flicking through the data hurriedly. “Project director reported a 62% success rate in the initial efficacy trial; however the experimental reconstitutors were prohibitively expensive to manufacture, and the unpredictability observed in field tests was not adequately resolved—what field tests?”
“You catch any of that?” Reveth asked Kix.
He shrugged. Maree’s voice had dropped to an inaudible murmur as she scrolled through the data, then opened another data file. A quiet chime sounded from the console, drawing Reveth’s attention.
A glowing hologram appeared over the console: wave after wave of battle droids locked in combat a group of clone commandos who should have been able to easily defeat the B-1s. But the droids just kept going. Nothing could stop their advance as they overwhelmed the commandos’ positions and tore them to pieces. Kix swallowed hard, hearing the screams of the dying commandos, unable to take his eyes off the hologram. Maree slapped a button on the console and the sound paused abruptly as the holo froze.
“Holy kark,” she breathed.
“What?” Reveth asked. “Is that not normal?”
“No,” Kix said grimly. “We need to get out of here.”
“Uh, about that…” Reveth said.
Ithano swiveled his head toward the Twi’lek. “What?”
“Opening that holofile triggered an alert in the system,” Reveth said. “Hopefully it’s nothing?”
“Time to go,” Kix growled.
“Yeah,” Maree said, her voice shaky. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“At least let me download the records,” Reveth argued, jamming a data spike into the console.
They all froze as a distant but unmistakable crash echoed through the base, followed by a rhythmic thumping.
“What is that?” Maree whispered.
“Clankers,” Kix said grimly, drawing his second blaster. “Seal the blast doors.”
“We’ll be trapped in here!” Reveth objected.
Maree stared at Kix. “Can’t we make it out before—”
A light flashed, and her body jerked as a blaster bolt smashed into her. She went down hard, and Kix barely had time to register what was happening before a firestorm of blaster bolts exploded into the room. He whirled back to the entrance and returned fire at the wave of battle droids that was advancing at high speed toward his position. Ithano was firing as fast as he could, but the droids weren’t dropping.
“Get those kriffing doors sealed!” Ithano bellowed.
Reveth had ducked down behind the console for cover as Maree scrambled to join her out of the line of fire. Reveth frantically worked the controls from her position on the floor, but she wasn’t fast enough. A single droid made it through before the doors slammed shut. The clanking and pounding of the army of droids battering against the blast doors was deafening. The lone battle droid charged across the command center.
“Kill it!” Kix shouted. “Fuckin’ kill it!”
Reveth, Ithano, and Kix unleashed a torrent of blaster bolts, but the karking thing wouldn’t go down, even as its components began to fail and fly off its body. It was headed for the console. It was headed toward Maree. Desperately, Kix launched himself at its mangled, skeletal form, tackling it as he locked his arms around and tore its head off with a sickening screech of twisting metal.
But the fucking thing kept moving, shambling toward the console. Kix growled and yanked out his vibroblade, slashing through the droid’s joints until nothing remained but a pile of scrap, and then he sprinted toward Maree, launching himself over the control console.
“Maree!” Kix yelled hoarsely.
Her face was sweaty and contorted with pain as she clutched her hand around her upper arm, but she gave him a tight smile. “I’m all right.”
The blaster hole in her jacket sleeve was still smoking, and Kix felt sick as he saw blood covering her hand, oozing from a wound that should have been cauterized by the plasma bolt.
“Let me see,” he ordered.
She moved her hand, and he cut the sleeve away quickly, adrenaline coursing through his veins. Oh, fuck, it’s bad. It’s bad, and I don’t have my kit.
“We have to get out of here,” Reveth rasped.
Kix dug frantically through his pouches, finding only a few small bacta patches and a vial of spray bandage. He didn’t have a choice. It would have to do, at least until they could make it back to the Stinger.
He shoved the jacket sleeve and vibroblade toward Reveth. “Cut that into strips. Wide ones.”
He drenched the blaster wound with spray bandage, then grabbed the first strip Reveth cut from the jacket sleeve and quickly tied it around Maree’s arm near her shoulder. “Do you have a stylus on you?”
“Always,” Maree said, her voice tense with pain. She pulled the stylus out of her pocket and handed it to him, carefully avoiding looking at the charred, bloody wound. “Why is it bleeding so much?”
Kix tied the ends of the cloth strip around the stylus and twisted to tighten the makeshift tourniquet, securing it as he replied in an artificially calm tone. “Sometimes it happens. Move just wrong—the cauterized scab opens—blood.”
He ripped open the bacta patches and arranged them carefully over the injury, covering it as well as he could before wrapping the rest of the fabric strips around them to secure them in place. Finally, he looked up into her eyes, inadvertently smearing her own blood on her cheek as he cupped her face.
“I’m not losing you today.” His words were firm, but tremor in his hands was undeniable, and his pulse thundered in his ears.
She smiled at him through dry, ashen lips, and he kissed her forehead, then helped her carefully to her feet. Reveth had pulled up a schematic of the base, and Ithano joined them at the console, pausing to squeeze Kix’s shoulder briefly.
“We don’t die so easily,” the captain said in his deep, rasping voice.
“Not today, anyway,” Reveth cut in. “I found an escape route.”
“Please tell me it’s not the ventilation shaft,” Maree said unsteadily.
“It’s always the ventilation shaft,” Reveth replied.
Maree’s shoulder screamed with agony as she crawled through the ventilation shaft. She gritted her teeth to hold back the whimper of pain that hovered at the base of her throat. The ventilation shaft was filthy and cramped, and their progress was torturously slow as they navigated as silently as possible to their destination. The conduit wouldn’t take them all the way out of the base, so they would have to make a run for the main entrance when they got close. The only way they stood a chance of escaping was to not draw the attention of the battle droids.
She followed Kix through the labyrinthine ductwork, crawling laboriously on her knees and one hand. Her injured arm had burned like fire when Kix first applied the tourniquet, but now her arm was completely numb—and equally useless. At last, they found the access hatch to the main corridor. Kix dropped down first, and then Maree realized exactly how difficult this was going to be with only one functional arm.
“Just drop,” he whispered. “I’ll catch you.”
She took a deep breath and slid out of the maintenance hatch, feet first. Panic flashed in her mind briefly as she plummeted through the air, but Kix was true to his word, catching her before she could hit the ground. He set her down quickly and checked to make sure her bandage was still in place as first Reveth and then Ithano dropped down into the corridor.
They sprinted for the exit. Maree’s lungs burned and her vision blurred around the edges as she gasped for breath. Kix looked back at her sharply and reached for her hand, dragging her along behind him. By some miracle, the droids hadn’t detected them yet, and she could see the main entrance of the base. She forced herself to keep running, even as she stumbled and nearly went down, kept upright only by Kix’s strong grasp.
He tugged her arm over his shoulder and wrapped his arm around her waist to support her, but he didn’t slow his pace. “We have to keep going, love. We can’t stop now.”
“I know,” she wheezed. “So close…”
She could hear the clanking of droids behind them, and she pushed herself as hard as she ever had in her life to keep running. They cleared the entrance, and Reveth tossed a few magnetized thermal detonators onto the ceiling of the base.
Keep running, don’t stop, keep going.
The explosion knocked them off their feet, but the rubble of the collapsed ceiling blocked the main entrance. It wouldn’t hold back the droids for long, but it bought them time—so long as they kept moving. Kix was up first, pulling Maree with him as Reveth and Ithano scrambled to their feet.
They ran for the trees as Reveth commed Squeaky. “We need a pickup, now!”
“He can’t get to us in the jungle!” Kix said. “We have to find a clearing where the shuttle can land.”
They dodged through the trees, trying to avoid the worst of the swampy ground, but the dense underbrush slowed their progress and steered them on a circuitous route. Out of the corner of her eye, Maree saw movement in the earth. The ground shifted and began to swell.
“What the kriff is that?” she demanded.
“Keep running, don’t look back,” Kix urged.
“No, what is that?” she repeated.
She saw a flash of pale, bonelike metal alloy, and then a battle droid erupted from the earth.
“Fuck!” she screamed.
All around them, the skeletal forms of B1.5 droids began to emerge from the swampy ground, punching their way to the surface and dragging themselves up from the mud. Kix released Maree and drew both of his blasters, opening fire without hesitation. Maree, Reveth, and Ithano followed suit, for all the good it did them. The droids simply wouldn’t go down; even if they took so many hits that they started to fall apart, they still somehow shambled on in a grotesque parody of their normal precise movement.
They had no choice but to keep running and hope that they could at least slow some of the droids down. She could hear the roar of the shuttle overhead, but the vegetation was too dense for Squeaky to pick them up. The Gamorrean’s indistinct, frantic squealing sounded from Reveth’s comlink.
“He said there’s a clearing about a klick southwest!” Reveth yelled.
It might as well be on the other side of the planet, Maree thought hopelessly. There were simply too many droids; they were advancing relentlessly, and the terrain was too hostile to cross it with any speed. Holy shit, we’re all going to die here.
Her mind darted to the holorecord of the field test—a kriffing gruesome euphemism for such carnage. It had been a complete massacre. The terrified screams of the commandos as the droids tore them to pieces; the spray of blood and viscera: the images were branded irrevocably in her memory. It was a horrific way to die, and they were about to find out firsthand.
Panic clawed at her, closing her throat and making her shots go wild. Her legs felt sluggish, and her feet became unsteady, but Kix never let her fall, even as he fired ceaselessly at the pursuing droids.
“We’re almost there,” he grunted. “Keep running, sweetheart, you can do it.”
“Kix, go,” Ithano ordered. “Get her to the Stinger.”
“No!” Maree exclaimed. “We’re not leaving you!”
Kix ignored her protests, bending over and tossing her over his shoulder as he ran. His plastoid armor cut into her thighs and belly, and she squirmed to try to get away.
“Put me down! Go back!”
Kix ignored her and raced for the clearing where the shuttle hovered just above the ground, ready to take off as soon as the crew were safely aboard. He dropped Maree in the copilot seat and turned to Squeaky.
“Don’t let her follow me.”
He sprinted to the back of the shuttle and jumped out, making for the treeline.
“Kix!” she screamed, lurching out of her seat.
Squeaky didn’t hesitate. He thrust her back into the chair with a stern grunt, then secured the safety harness to make sure she didn’t try to run again. She could hear blaster fire and shouting outside the ship, and she tugged desperately at the harness. Squeaky grunted again to order her to take control of the ship, and he lumbered toward the rear hatch, blaster ready.
Her heart hammered as she took the controls. Please, please, please. The distraught prayer echoed in her mind, silently beseeching the Force. I can’t lose him. Not like this. She felt utterly helpless as the deafening roar of Squeaky’s blaster fire pounded through the ship. Mercifully, she soon heard the pounding of boots on durasteel, and then Ithano launched into the pilot’s seat and punched the controls, hurtling the shuttle away from the planet.
“Kix?” she asked frantically.
“I’m here,” he said, dropping to his knees next to Maree’s chair and wrapping his arms around her. “I’m here.”
“I’m here, too, thanks for askin’,” Reveth said as she flopped into her seat.
Kix stood and quickly released the safety harness, tugging Maree out of the chair and burying his face against her neck.
“Holy kark, I can’t believe we all made it out,” Reveth said. “I was sure Maree was toast.”
Maree laughed, and Kix glared at the Twi’lek. “Not kriffin’ funny.”
“It’s kinda funny,” Reveth insisted.
Kix shook his head and drew Maree out of the cockpit and back to the tiny med bay at the rear of the shuttle. “Med bay” was putting it generously; it was really just a bunk and a large emergency medkit, but it had everything he needed to treat her shoulder. He administered a stim shot, cleaned and redressed her wound, and removed the tourniquet. He worked efficiently, and she didn’t see any of the distress that had clouded his eyes back at the base—of course, they weren’t fending off a horde of unkillable zombie droids this time, either.
“What’s the verdict, doctor?” she asked with a tiny smile.
He stroked his fingers over her forearm gently. “You’ll live. Gonna have a kickass scar, too.”
“Will you kiss it better?” she asked, fluttering her eyelashes.
He smiled wryly as he leaned in and pressed his lips softly against hers. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
“I’ll do my best. At least I’m finally going to have an exciting story to tell Baba and Eema.”
His eyes widened. “Oh, kriff, your mothers are going to kill me!”
The Stinger docked with the Meson Martinet first, and Squeaky, Reveth, and Ithano disembarked, then Kix piloted the shuttle to his own ship, the Scorpion. Brenko and Brosna were waiting next to the airlock when Kix and Maree emerged from the shuttle.
“Well, did you find the B1.5s?” Brosna asked.
“Yeah,” Kix replied grimly.
“Ha!” Brosna laughed triumphantly. “Pay up, Captain!”
“You’re still acting captain,” Kix retorted. “Now get your ass back up to the bridge until I relieve you.”
“Wait, you’re not taking command right now?” Brosna asked.
“Nope,” Kix replied, dragging Maree to their quarters.
The door hissed shut behind them, and Kix slapped the control panel to lock it. He was on Maree instantly, devouring her in a searing kiss as he unzipped and pulled off her jacket, carefully avoiding the large bandage on her shoulder. Once he had her top removed, he dropped his mouth to her throat and kissed a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses down her body as he knelt in front of her.
His hands roved over her urgently, clutching her body close to him. She tangled her fingers in his hair as he tugged down her trousers, and then he plunged his tongue into her ravenously. Her body jerked, and she cried out, losing her balance. He caught her with ease, then pulled her toward the bed.
“Kix,” she panted. “Don’t you at least want to get naked?”
“I can’t wait,” he groaned. “Sit on my face.”
“Oh, fuck,” she gasped.
“I’m planning to,” he said, lying on his back. “On my face. Now.”
She knelt, hovering over his mouth, staring down into his eyes. He gazed back up at her, sliding his hands up her waist to cup her breasts, before dropping them to her thighs and yanking her body downward.
“Kriff!” she exclaimed as his tongue slid deeply into her cunt, then his lips closed around her clit.
He held her in place as he feasted on her, his groans vibrating against her sensitive flesh. The sensation was overwhelming. She writhed, nearly toppling over, then leaned back to brace her hands on his ribcage. He ate her like he was starving, like she was the last thing he would ever taste, and he fully intended to savor every drop.
“Kix—fuck—gods—” she moaned, her hips finding a subtle rhythm even as his strong hands gripped her, preventing her from moving more than a few centimeters.
He murmured quietly against her in between the kisses and licks and nibbles—soft, nearly inaudible whispers of fear and adoration and lust. “... taste so fucking good… love you so much… thought I was going to lose you… never letting go… so kriffin’ scared… want you so bad…”
He released her thigh and reached his hand around to massage her clit. All the muscles in her core began to tense as pleasure spooled tightly in her body, but her orgasm remained tantalizingly just out of reach. She leaned back, groping blindly for his cock. She fumbled with his belt and eventually just slid her hand beneath the waistband until she wrapped her fingers around his rigid shaft.
He grunted at the contact, his hips thrusting up off the mattress. His hand strayed away from her clit to press his palm flat against her lower belly, and pressure was exactly what she needed. She convulsed with a sob, and he redoubled his efforts, tongue-fucking her through her orgasm. Distantly, she felt the thrusting of his cock against her hand, and then a rush of hot, sticky cum on her fingers.
She crumpled to the bed, and he pulled her tightly against him, kissing the backs of her thighs as she slowly came back to herself. After a few moments, he shifted, curling up behind her, tucking his thighs behind her legs as he drew her body close to his and buried his face in her hair.
“I love you,” she murmured.
He kissed the side of her neck, just behind her ear, dragging his tongue slowly across her skin as he slid his hand up to play with her breast. “Love you. Never scare me like that again.”
She laughed quietly. “Aye, aye, Cap’n. What’s gotten into you, anyway? You were acting protective before we even left the Martinet.”
He lay silently for a moment, breathing in the scent of her hair, before he replied. “You’re late.”
She blinked. “What?”
“You’re… your cycle, it’s like clockwork. And—you’re late,” he said hoarsely.
She swallowed. “Oh.”
The original comic panel that inspired this story! This was from Star Wars Adventures Ashcan. Alas, this comic was never published, so I am once again filling in the gaps in canon.
ADDITIONAL CONTENT WARNING: mention of possible pregnancy.
#clone medic kix#post stasis kix#pirate kix#meson martinet#sidon ithano#reveth#oc: maree finnall#star wars#clone wars#star wars fanfiction#clone wars fanfic#martyrs and kings#dystopicjumpsuit writes#Spotify
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Tag Game Wednesday 💫
Thank you @michellemisfit @creepkinginc @mybrainismelted @energievie @jrooc
@suzy-queued for tagging me in this 🩵 it was fun and very eye opening about google in general.
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name: julia age: Nosho are you tired of our math games yet? location (globally): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq-S8CIU7VA
location (physically): at a table, on a Zoom and failing at multitasking
favourite Food to Eat: sushi 💗
favourite food to cook: cook you say?
will you be attending @too-schoolforcool’s ☀️ Kitchen Shenanigans🍴with Cherry on the 6th july? Yes!
what’s your zodiac: Taurus ♉️
will you be attending @heymacy’s ☀️ Astrology 101: More Than Just Your Sun Sign ☀️ lecture on the 13th july? Oh yes indeed 🌟
(check @gallavich-fic-club’s lesson plan for details here)
now let predictive text complete each sentence for you after the 💭
my age is 💭 in spanish (handy to know)
my favourite animal is 💭 a cat
i love to cook 💭 and I love to back (a song by Dolly Parton apparently!)
i love to eat 💭 chocolate (truth)
i have a lot of ideas about 💭 ‘i got a lot of bad ideas in my head’ (ha!)
i have no clue 💭 what to do with my life (loll well why not)
my dream career is 💭 to be a doctor (oh no not at all, but respect)
my favourite character on shameless 💭 Ian Frank’s son (he’s definitely second favorite)
debbie gallagher is 💭 no suggestions at all whyyy?
carl gallagher is 💭 gay but then the next one is hot
mandy milkovich is 💭 the same actress (much sought after info on google i see)
mickey milkovich is 💭 is the best (correct!)
ian gallagher is 💭 gay, and then second is “so hot”
to me ian and mickey are 💭 the same (no, they are not google)
gallavich means 💭 gallavich scenes 🤝
i wish anyone who reads this to 💭 me (i dont know what that means but it’s romantic-sounding)
Tagging in @heymacy @sickness-health-all-that-shit @stocious @wehangout @starcrossedsoulmates84
@mmmichyyy @deedala @sgtmickeyslaughter @francesrose3 @palepinkgoat
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Anon wrote: Hello! I'm an ESTJ (22F) and have had 4-5 incidents in my life where I've upset people badly because of my insensitivity. For example, when I was a teen, a friend wanted to go somewhere for a group outing, but I dismissed their idea and suggested going somewhere else which everyone agreed to, making that friend feel angry and unheard. Things like that. In the moment, I don't realise my actions can hurt people badly because personally, I wouldn't be hurt by that. But after going through several similar incidents, I realised the problem was indeed myself. So I’ve been working hard on being more tactful and considerate of other people’s feelings. Globally, my efforts seem to have paid off and my friends confirmed that I seem to have softened.
However, I’ve recently hurt a new friend (she’s an INTJ, 22F) because of this same lack of consideration. I damaged her trust in me when I told her that I’ve shared a personal experience of hers to friends of mine. At the time, I didn’t think that it was a secret and thought it’d be good to share her experience as to spread awareness. But she told me she was upset, and I could understand why, so I offered a sincere apology, which she accepted.
We started texting again, but only a few weeks later, I joke and say we don’t want to date frail guys because they wouldn’t be able to princess-carry us without getting crushed. I formulated the joke badly, and it could’ve sounded like I was saying that guys would get crushed under HER weight. She tells me that she’s insecure about her weight and even though she said she knew it was not my intention to say “You’re so heavy that guys would get crushed under your weight if they tried to carry you”, I am still told off quite sternly for the joke. I apologise immediately and feel very bad. It’s only been a moment after I’ve hurt once and here I am, hurting her once again.
However, this time, I also feel upset that she chose to interpret my words in the worst way possible. Badly formulating the joke was my fault, but she knew it was not my intention to say something mean. I feel like, in consideration of the previous incident, she still silently holds a grudge against me, so that the moment I slip up, she decides to have the most intense reaction to prove that I have done her wrong once again.
I have two interrogations concerning this:
- How should I deal with this friend? She still quietly holds onto my past mistake and I might have to continue walking on eggshells around her because it feels like she’s a lot less tolerant of any of my slip-ups. However, we don’t have the same type of sensibility from the get-go which highly increases the chance of me saying something that upsets her even if it’s far from my intention to do so. Should I graciously let our friendship go?
- It’s disheartening to see that even after making great efforts to avoid hurting others, I still manage to hurt them in the same way I did in the past. Of course, these kinds of incidents are a lot rarer now, but they still happen and it’s enough to cause damage in my newer relationships and it makes me feel I haven’t changed much… I don't want to upset any more people. Do you have any thoughts or advice concerning this?
Thank you for reading me and for your time dedicated to this blog, I really appreciate it!
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When a problem recurs like this, it's a sign that there's a lot more to it than you first thought. Are you ready to get into the complexities of what it means to be "insensitive"?
There is no way to speak such that you never offend anyone. The fact of the matter is that you'll never know everything about a person, so you can't always predict what will upset them. The older someone is when you meet them, the more hidden baggage there is to contend with. When you're getting to know someone, you have to accept the fact that toes will get stepped on. IMO, you actually have to welcome and embrace those painful moments as opportunities to learn about each other's preferences. Can you shift your attitude to one of acceptance rather than blame (requires Si)? Whether it's blaming yourself or others, it is always counterproductive because of its narrow focus on shaming and punishing. Blame doesn't help and usually leaves everyone feeling worse off.
If the relationship is meant to progress and thrive, both parties have to be willing and mature enough to work through misunderstandings in order to come out more knowledgeable and better prepared to treat each other well in the future. When someone isn't willing to give you the benefit of the doubt or is absolutely intent on seeing the worst in you even after you've tried to make amends, you can speak up for yourself, make your intentions/desires about the relationship crystal clear, and make a reasonable request of them to be more patient and forgiving. However, you don't have control over people. If they just can't trust you because of their own personal reasons, then they just can't, and then you have to make a thoughtful decision about how much emotion to keep investing in the relationship.
I understand your frustration with this insensitivity issue because I've actually witnessed many ESTJs around me struggle with it throughout my life. At the end of the day, I'm about the furthest you can get from being ESTJ myself, so there's only so far I can get in breaking down the problem for you. The rest is for you to reflect on and put into practice. There are several points to chew on and digest:
I. Lack of Restraint
Te+Ne often produces the trait of being overeager to act, for example: leaping before looking, speaking before thinking, judging before knowing, deciding before deliberating, etc. This can easily be taken too far into social recklessness. Extraverts tend to be rapidly stimulated by socializing and it's easy for them to get caught up in the moment and just blurt out whatever is on their mind.
Unless you've been abnormally sheltered, years of socializing experience should've already taught you that there are certain topics of conversation that are risky to broach due to their potential for inducing conflict, hurt, or suffering. If you need concrete examples, anything related to:
age; ageism; bodily functions; health issues; death; dying
spirituality; religion; religious beliefs and values
politics; hot button political issues/debates
workplace gossip, relationships, or politics
money; income; personal finances; class; classism
physical appearance; height; weight; lookism; disability; ableism
mental health; mental disorders; psychological issues
private sensitivities, vulnerabilities, shames, or traumas
troubling, problematic, or painful intimate relationship experiences
sex; gender identity; sexism; sexuality; sexual orientation; homo/bi/trans erasure or phobia
ethnicity; ethnocentrism; cultural beliefs and values; cultural insensitivity; cultural appropriation; race; racism; xenophobia
social constructs like etiquette; norms; language; intelligence; justice; love
There are a variety of approaches people choose for handling these topics. E.g.: Some people avoid them altogether in hopes of staying out of trouble. Some prefer obliviousness because they have no interest or can't personally relate. Some resist reflection on them and don't want to care about social consequences. Some purposely bring them up to provoke or push their beliefs.
I don't like to dictate how people behave. The most I can say is: Anyone who hopes to have great social skills and increase their odds of experiencing meaningful relationships ought to:
take time to properly understand why these topics are fraught and difficult for some people to talk about
carefully consider what their own beliefs/values are in relation to these topics and whether they are well-reasoned
approach the topics thoughtfully and respectfully in conversation
be willing to listen and adjust their attitude/approach upon receiving negative feedback
have an effective communication strategy for working through misunderstandings, disagreements, and conflicts
For ESTJs, the remedy to lack of restraint is Si development. There are two aspects: (1) Si awareness leads people to be more attentive, conscientious, methodical, and circumspect - all of which are generally important when it comes to successful risk-taking. When you make yourself more aware of risk and danger, you'll naturally proceed more cautiously. (2) Si encourages you to develop and follow reliable rules of propriety for navigating difficult situations. You get to choose your method of approach. When you don't have a method, you're flying blind, and chaos is not far behind.
II. Lack of Boundary Awareness
Common manifestations of boundary issues include: freely offering up opinions and advice; trying to solve people's problems for them; telling people what to do ("for their own good"); being judgmental and critical of people's shortcomings or vulnerabilities. ESTJs often believe that they are showing care through these behaviors, but that's only true if the behavior was invited and wanted by the receiver. When it is uninvited and unwanted, these behaviors are all forms of trespassing onto the other person's personal space or violating their rights to privacy and self-determination.
When Si and Fi are underdeveloped, ESTJs have a primitive understanding of the concept of "privacy". This can manifest in two common ways:
(1) Generally speaking, they don't think much about private things, let alone talk about them. This means they tend to assume that if someone talks about something openly, it's not considered private.
E.g. What does the word "share" mean to you? If someone shares an experience with you, does it mean that it's now yours to do with as you please? Nope. That experience still doesn't belong to you.
(2) Generally speaking, they don't understand that different people have different privacy preferences and boundaries.
One reason people learn about type is that they want to learn about individual differences and how to reduce conflict when navigating them in a relationship. One of the basic lessons type theory imparts is that applying your own type preferences to someone of another type can lead to conflict if you end up disrespecting their type.
For example, did you know that Ni doms tend to be intensely private people? There are many reasons behind it. One being that they are statistically the least populated types in society. Simply by virtue of being the smallest minority, they are the most likely to feel unseen, unappreciated, or misunderstood by people and society at large. Many Ni doms are wary of opening up because they have a special way of looking at the world that is repeatedly met with some form of invalidation by others. This makes it understandable that they can be slow to trust people and even actively look out for proof of untrustworthiness. Regardless of your intention, acts of insensitivity serve as evidence to them that you don't really understand them and thus can't really be there for them. Knowing this, is there something you can do to reassure them of your trustworthiness?
In other words, some people have a wider privacy boundary than others for reasons that you may not be aware of. ESTJs tend to keep fewer things private than INTJs. Before you talk about someone in their absence, you ought to think twice about whether the information you're about to disclose about them is considered private to them. If you're uncertain, that's all the more reason to be cautious, because it means you don't know them very well and haven't been granted license to talk about them as though you do.
When in doubt, it is best to clarify a person's privacy preferences through good communication and obtain consent before you offer up information about them to others. If you want to show people that you care about them and can be trusted, you ought to take time to understand their personal concept of privacy so that you can guard and protect it as well as they do.
III. Lack of Discretion
ESTJs often don't realize how gossipy they can be. In the heat of conversation, they bring up whatever points they believe are relevant or helpful, without considering the social consequences.
Remember that privacy is necessary because information about people can serve as a kind of currency. It can be traded for personal gain. It can be exploited to hurt someone on purpose. It can be used to treat someone unfairly. Just as you wouldn't walk down the street waving hundred dollar bills around, you shouldn't be careless with releasing information about people.
A simple example: Imagine you suffer from depression but you manage it well and live your life smoothly, perhaps even capable of doing your job better than your colleagues. Would you disclose your depression in a job interview? You shouldn't, because, due to societal stigmas surrounding mental illness, the interviewer might unfairly judge you as an inferior candidate compared to someone without depression, regardless of your actual work performance. Now imagine a friend of yours had talked about your experience of depression to help out someone also suffering, and then that very someone turned out to be one of your rivals for a job position. They could exploit information about your depression to sabotage your chances without you ever knowing.
The word "discretion" is related to the word "discernment", which means "to exhibit good judgment". How is this related to relationships? Due to inferior Fi, ESTJs often have very primitive notions of fairness and equality. They tend to make the logical error of believing that being fair/equal means treating everyone the same or seeing everyone as being the same.
The relationships in your life are not all the same. Some people should mean more to you than others because they are closer to you. Some people should be categorized differently because they serve different purposes in your life. Some people should be treated differently because of the specific relationship dynamic they have with you that others don't have with you.
To exercise good judgment in relationships, you have to understand that 1) each relationship is unique because the individual you're dealing with is unique, and thusly 2) every relationship requires a somewhat different strategy for maintenance and development. Successful relationships require thoughtfulness, which is why they're hard work.
On the surface, it may seem like a noble idea to treat everyone the same, but, in reality, it ends up looking as though people are basically interchangeable to you, to be used or replaced at whim. Why? You don't recognize all the things that make each person an individual. Most importantly, by not properly acknowledging individuality, it doesn't occur to you that it's necessary to learn about and accommodate each person's unique set of needs, desires, preferences, sensitivities, identities, and personality traits.
To know how to honor people's individuality is related to your introverted development. Through developing Si and Fi, you'll better understand the importance of your own individuality, and why it's necessary to nurture and protect it. This then gradually allows you to see, respect, and fully appreciate other people's individuality as well.
IV. Weak or Inconsistent Values
Oftentimes, there isn't productive discussion about "what really happened" when feelings get hurt, people are emotionally reactive, and fingers are being pointed. In the end, the easiest way through the conflict is for someone to apologize and the other to forgive. Or else break up. Are these really the only two options?
Ts tend to understand insensitivity simply as "accidentally saying the wrong thing". However, this is a very superficial way of looking at it. While I understand that T insensitivity is usually not a result of maliciousness, others might not be capable of such insight when they're feeling hurt and emotional. Regardless of what you originally intended, what do others think when you behave insensitively?
Firstly, it shows them a kind of carelessness, thoughtlessness, or even callousness, depending on the severity of the infraction. When you are too loose and casual with something that is of great importance to someone, they will see you as not really caring about it and, by extension, not really caring about them.
Secondly, it shows them that there is something lacking in your moral values. When people observe that you don't value the same things as them, it brings into very sharp focus the differences between you, which makes it easier to lose sight of the commonalities. Without a strong sense of commonality or "being in it together", the foundation of the relationship starts to crack, the feeling of emotional connection erodes, and then the willingness to keep the relationship going weakens. The more that differences of values appear to build up between you, the faster the relationship deteriorates. This is true for friendship and romance.
These two points are meant to explain to you the process of how exactly insensitivity damages a relationship. It's not meant to trigger self-reproach, but to allow you more insight into how you are seen by others, so that you have an opportunity to change how you come across to them.
When Si and Fi are underdeveloped, the fact is that ESTJs don't hold much sacred. While this is a personal choice, it can come across to others as a negative trait if it leads you to unwittingly trample all over what they hold sacred. Developing Si and Fi should help you improve on this aspect of the problem. There are two prongs of attack:
(1) Preventative Measures: As I outlined earlier, be more thoughtful about topics that are controversial but of great importance to the people you're interacting with. Start by clarifying your beliefs and values and what you hold sacred. Then, learn more about what the other person believes, values, and holds sacred.
For relationship development: Appreciate and regularly reinforce the common ground between you. Also work to alleviate the differences between you, either by reconsidering your beliefs/values in light of the new information they provided, or finding a way to agree to disagree about the points that you haven't yet been able to reconcile together.
(2) Healing Measures: There's no use crying over spilled milk, throwing around blame, or punishing yourself with unending guilt. When something has already happened, accept the reality of it, and figure out how best to mend what was damaged or broken.
Healing is usually best achieved through open and honest communication, to properly process the event so that both parties can achieve a sense of closure and move on from any hard feelings. However, remember that you can't control how others feel, and strong emotions take time to fade away. Never expect immediate results. You can only try your best to put hard feelings to bed, and then allow the other person time and space to heal.
The first time you offended your friend, it was over a matter of privacy. As explained earlier, you could show your commitment to doing better by actively learning more about her privacy preferences, understanding the reasons behind those preferences, and making a vow to honor and protect them in the future.
The second time you offended her, it was because you did not give enough thought to or place enough value on something that has a great impact on her life. While it was unintentional, you still have to confront the hurt, otherwise, there's no moving forward. Perhaps you can explain how you didn't see it that way because your personal experience has been different, but, since you've had a chance to hear about how important it is to her, it is now important to you. If you want a close relationship with someone, what's important to them should be important to you as well, as a way to show care, consideration, and solidarity in helping to shoulder their hardships. When people have a strong belief and value system, one important way to show you care about them is to consistently step up and stand up for those beliefs and values as an ally.
To heal a conflict, you must reinstill confidence in the relationship. By taking time to properly understand her point of view and taking steps to show her that her beliefs and values are also important to you, she is more likely to feel reassured and regain confidence that the friendship is worth salvaging and nurturing.
#estj#estj relationships#auxiliary si#inferior fi#entj#insensitivity#communication#conflict resolution#tactfulness#privacy#boundaries#values#empathy#ask
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Zen is a Prince From Grass
First, we will start with comparisons.
Younger Zen/Hyun (Age 18?):
Younger Jieun/Etinos (Age 16):
Older Jieun/Etinos (Age 19?):
Older Zen/Hyun (Age 23):
... I wanted to get that out of the way first. Zen and Jieun obviously have physical similarities (especially when they were both younger and drawn with thick eyelashes), but let’s go beyond this. After all, Cheritz has a habit of making the love interests in their games have similarities to each other. In every game, you always have 5 love interests and 1 MC pursuing them because of reasons (V and Ray's routes broke this pattern, but the original MM only had 5 routes so...). There are more specific similarities like 707 and Red, Yeonho, and Yoosung, arguably Lance and Jumin, etc. Now, I think this goes deeper in the case of Zen and Jieun.
In another post, I talk about how there is a pattern with Cheritz boys who have red eyes, and it's that they all have powers. It is explicitly stated/heavily hinted they have this power, and I pointed out that Jieun and Zen’s power is basically the same. (There’s gonna be a lot of screenshots as points of evidence/to get my points across).
I don’t have the exact screenshot of Zen saying that his dreams predict the future, but I’m sure he explicitly mentions this at some point in the game. If he didn’t, in my other post I mention 2 examples of him predicting the future. What am I suggesting exactly? Well, I think that Zen is not only royalty but also related to Jieun somehow.
Let’s start with what we know about Jieun’s power:
This is Jieun’s explanation from his route when confronted by Heejung. I have no idea where it is mentioned, but having red eyes is also another sign that you have these powers. (If someone knows where in the game this comes up let me know!). When he sees the future, wind flies everywhere and he uses it on purpose to see Heejung’s future specifically.
This is different from Zen, who only sees the future in dreams, and they come to him randomly. Though, I think Jieun does mention that he had to train his power in order to use it at will. If Zen was gifted this power by the gods, then doesn’t that mean that he is from Grass? And not only that, he has the potential to become king? If that is the case, why is he not there, and living a normal life?
To answer that question, we have to talk about Jihae/Eddison:
He is key to this theory. He is Jieun’s knight and his duty is to protect him. In Jieun’s route, he talks briefly about their past:
Jieun is talking about his own mother, and how she was a maid, while his father was presumably the king because Jieun still retains his prince status, despite his parents being from different classes.
He was separated from her after he was born, and the only way she can hear about Jieun is through Jihae (Jieun calls him ‘Eddie’ as a nickname).
Dark blue text is Jihae. Light blue is Jieun:
A lot to unpack here. This dialogue shows how Grass has a strict hierarchy. Aristocrats and commoners shouldn’t have relations. If they do, the child of such an affair is treated badly. Even though one of Jieun’s parents was of low birth, because he can see the future and has white hair, he is left alone. In fact, he’s still eligible to become king despite everything. Jihae was in the same boat, but because his hair was gray he was judged, called ugly, and a bad omen. In the dialogue above we see Jihae call himself filthy, a testament to how people treat him on the daily. Jieun recognizes how beautiful Jihae truly is, and that isn’t an exaggeration! When they come to Earth, Jihae is offered modeling jobs when he’s in Busan and starts a career out of it.
The 2nd screenshot shows him in one of his modeling gigs (Let’s take a second to appreciate him). It’s not that the rabbits in Grass do not see that he is beautiful, but that his social status as a child of a commoner/outsider derides everything else. In fact, his good looks probably garner even more disgust. Heejung also considers Jieun to be beautiful, so it might also be a facet of being noble/royal to be beautiful by Earth's standards.
What does that have to do with Zen? Well:
1. Has gray hair.
2. Is considered extremely handsome, and is so popular that even Jumin has offered him to model for his company.
3. Has red eyes and can see the future in his dreams.
4. His healing ability! Magic is a thing in Grass so maybe that has something to do with it?
5. His own ‘family’ have voiced how much Zen doesn’t look like them:
“Why do we look so different?” I wonder why too Zen’s bro.
Poor Zen still gets bothered by people because of his looks. At least it's not as hostile as Jihae’s experience, but it’s upsetting nonetheless.
All of this added up, and you can see where I’m going with this. Zen could be a prince, one parent royal, and the other a commoner/outsider. This gives him gray hair, but he is still born with the power of precognition, making him eligible to become king. Who knows if his power would outweigh his status? It might not, if he ended up on Earth in the end.
Jieun stated that once every 3 generations, a divine child like himself is born. Zen and Jieun are clearly not the same people since their hair color is different.
I believe Zen is either a prince:
1. 3 generations after Jieun.
2. At some point in Grass’ history was a prince, whether in the past or the future.
The reason I say this is because of the timeline. Dandelion and Nameless have very explicit dates for when and where it takes place. Most of the time both take place on Earth in South Korea between the years 2012-2013. But Mystic Messenger is a big question mark. D & N’s years correspond with the year the games were released in. If we follow that pattern, then Mystic Messenger would have happened in 2016. The thing is, that is not confirmed in-game, and is just speculation. So, we can give the timeline some leeway.
There are 3 possibilities for how Zen got sent to Earth:
1. Zen made a desperate wish to leave Grass: This is the sad option. Based on how we see Jihae be treated, especially if you get deeper into his backstory, Zen could have been neglected/verbally abused/etc. for his hair. The Wizard in Dandelion can grant any wish you desire, as long as that wish is desperate. If Zen arrived on Earth as a child, then the implications of that are even worse. In exchange for a wish, your memories relating to that wish are taken away. Perhaps his memories of Grass was the price and that’s why he doesn’t remember anything. The earliest memory we see in-game was from when he was studying with his older brother as a child when he was 7 years old.
2. Sorcerers from the royal family: They sent him to Earth as a child. I bring this up because, in Dandelion, travel between the planets was seen as impossible. Of course, with the exception of The Wizard and making a desperate wish. He was the one who brought the rabbit and cat boys to Earth, after all. BUT THEN, Jieun came in.
At the end of Jieun’s route, he gets separated from Heejung and has to go back to Grass. 3 years after, Heejung is summoned to Grass by a group of sorcerers Jieun got together (Whether they are actually other wizards is up for debate). Jieun overcame the odds. This is why I suggested that Zen is a prince 3 generations after Jieun. Perhaps this spell was tweaked to send Zen to Earth instead of the other way around. Going back to what I said before, if Zen is a prince 3 generations after Jieun, and got sent to Earth in South Korea specifically, then it can make sense why it happened. 3 generations down the line I think records would remain of a former king (Jieun) summoning a woman (Heejung) from another planet, and maybe Jieun documented his stay in South Korea. A portal dropping Zen in South Korea of all places on the planet could make sense from this angle. Maybe he had some protection spells cast on him (his random fast healing?) and maybe even his human family has been bewitched to believe he is their birth son? Maybe some member of the royal family orchestrated all of this for Zen’s sake, so that he can live a life free of judgment (didn’t quite work out but still). This is mostly conjecture though.
The details of how all of that would happen are up in the air.
3. Zen was unwillingly sent to Earth/MM universe(?) and is now trapped: I think this one needs an entire post by itself. This has to do with Saeyoung being a wizard and April Fool’s DLC stuff. This one is the one I believe in the most.
Nonetheless, I have brought up all the points why I believe Zen could be a prince from Grass. (Also lol Zen hated Jumin for being a trust-fund kid, but he could be a divine child blessed by god and is a bunny prince lmaoooo).
#mystic messenger#mystic messenger theories#mm#mm theories#cheritz theory#cheritz#cheritzverse#zen#hyun ryu#dandelion wishes brought to you#jieun#jihae#etinos#eddie#eddison#I am losing my goddamn mind#Like I am not the only one seeing this right
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I Read Scott McCloud's Comics Trilogy Recenlty
So yeah, for anyone who doesn't know, Scott McCloud is a pretty big deal in the comics scene, one of the guys who helped to draft up the Creator's Bill of Rights, and has done a lot of major work independently and at major publishers, and near as I can tell, one of the first pretty big creators to actively campaign for the creativity of things like Webcomics. But he's probably most well known nowadays for his non-fiction educational work mostly centered around comic books.
And I finally bought and read all three of them. The ‘Comics Trilogy’ as I've taken to calling cosists of:
Understanding Comics (1993)
Reinventing Comics (2000)
Making Comics (2006)
And this trilogy is incredibly dense with information about the medium, where it was at, and where it was going. In fact, while there are several degrees of separation between each book (about 6-7 years or so), it is very impressive just how fresh and relevant almost all of the information in this trilogy manages to be. Yes, they do show their age in some ways; both Reinventing Comics and Making Comics refer to both the internet and things like drawing tablets as though they were still pretty new and unexplored technology. However, all three of them contain some very astute observations about where Comics as a medium is going and it's really fascinating to see how close to the bull's eye Mr. McCloud was on so many counts.
Discounting that though, these are just interesting to read because all three of them ask you to really examine WHY comic books as a medium work. Understanding Comics for example, serves as a very concise history of comics as a whole and tries to put a decent definition on what qualifies as being a comic (a task that it doesn't entirely succeed at, by Scott's own examination, but it very much gets you thinking on words and pictures, what separates them and how they can be intertwined into a story.
Reinventing comics is more about the potential of the medium and I'll admit, its more philosophical tone on the potential of comics was a bit much for me. I had trouble processing and digesting everything in this book compared to Understanding or Making. I certainly understood what it was going for, and again, this book, out of all three, is fascinating to read with about twenty years of hindsight, as Scott manages to bang-on predicted most of the trends that would come into the medium down the line. Just probably not in the ways he was expecting them to. It's still a very interesting read, but I'll admit, I had a lot more trouble following it than I did the other two books and I had to go back and reread a few sections to full feel like I was grasping the full meaning on a lot of what was said, but it was still a very interesting read.
The third in the series, Making Comics is probably the most straightforward, but this isn't like an online tutorial. Instead it's more like a lengthy instruction manual presenting you with the tools and ideas that can be used to build a comic beyond your skill as an artist. How to letter, how to frame a shot, when you should use captions or sound effects or word balloons. It gives a very detailed overview of everything you'd need to know in order to make your own comics from a practical standpoint. It makes some suggestions on the tools or software to use, but for the most part, it's more about giving you a proper overview of the craft rather than a tutorial for specific tools or software. That's easy enough to find elsewhere on the internet.
I think the reason these books work so well is the way they are presented; They are comic books. They aren't just books that talk about comics, they are COMICS that talk about comics. This isn't even the first time that I've seen this done. Back when I was in middle and high school, I did have a couple of classes that dabbled in using comics instead of traditional text books to introduce their subject matter. In particular, I was introduced to Larry Gonick's books like “The Cartoon History of the Universe” and “The Cartoon Guide to Genetics.” These books are a bit different than that, as yes, they are specifically educational, but they focus specifically on the medium that they are a part of, and I think that does a lot to convey Scott's arguments about just how far the medium can go, and helps to highlight everything that he's talking about with actual real time examples. That's not to downplay Mr. Gonick's contributions to cartooning and comic books as a potential tool for learning and education of course, he's written a LOT of these books over a multitude of different subjects, but one does have to admit, he is very much an exception rather than the standard.
(for an added recommendation, I'd recommend Larry Gonick's “Hypercapitalism” as well, really worth a read on its own)
These books manage to feel timeless in their subject matter and the way that they talk about the medium. Sadly, Comics as a whole today are still struggling to reach a sort of mainstream acceptance as a respectable medium, and yes, we do have big blockbusters for comic characters nowadays, but really, how many people who watch those movies read the comics those stories are based on? And for those that do read the comics, how many books outside of superhero books published by the Big Two do they read? The comics trilogy lays down the ideas of how the medium could potentially be elevated, and while that hasn't happened yet, I am hopeful for the future. If you have never read these before, and you have any interest in comics as a medium, especially what you can find beyond the standard of a super hero comic, I would really recommend this trilogy. Last I checked, I cannot find them being sold as a set anywhere, but all three of them can be found used for pretty cheap. Heck, even brand new, they don't typically go over $15, and I'd say they're worth every penny. Note that this is referring to paperback copies of the books. There are some hardcover versions floating around out there, but those are much harder to find, and consequently are a lot more expensive, at least for Understanding Comics.
#Good Nonfiction#Interesting Comic Book Talk#Scott McCloud#Understanding/Reinventing/Making Comics#If y'all like comics#Y'all should read these
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I'm making an AU but it is difficult to attract attention to it. Which type of content related to fpk au got attention? Was it the art, the texts, or something else? Did what you tag make a difference?
I honestly have no idea what first got people into it, but if I had to guess, it was the original mini comic getting attention. As to why, I have no clue. Maybe people just liked the premise? That is definitely a big part of it. People actually liking the idea. Though looking at it through that lens could lead you to creating stuff just to appeal to others, and that's a slippery slope I'd try to avoid personally. Being true to yourself is very important.
What definitely helped in my case was that I posted A LOT of art with FPK. There were times where I posted something almost daily, and I still draw AU related ideas very frequently. The asks came after that, I responded to some of them with art which I imagine got more people sending their own questions of ideas, and then eventually they would start asking about the AU itself.
But I can't pinpoint one thing that did all the work here, it was a combination of factors spread throughout the whole year. If I had to suggest anything, have a separate tag for the AU so that it's easier to browse your blog, and most importantly of all, be passionate about it. Doing it for attention is the first step to lose motivation, so just do it for yourself. Eventually people will get interested, but it might take time. Sometimes luck is involved, it's hard to predict it. So just draw stuff for your AU, make posts about it, all that stuff.
I can't think of any other advice since, as I already said, I don't really know what exactly got people so interested in my case. Maybe it's FPK's big wet eyes? Though to be fair, he didn't have those at the start. So I don't know.
Perhaps, if anyone comments under this post, they could share what drove them to my blog? Maybe that would help.
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hey I have some thoughts and theories on season six that I want to post but I feel like they’re kind of in cohesive and all over the place and rambly and I’m not really sure the best way to get them across especially when I’m more of a brainstorm type of personof like 10 different ways something could go I’m not really sure how to organize it or make it comprehensible to the average Tumblr scroller do you have any tips for this? because I want them to get reach cause I do feel like I’m contributing something but sometimes I think what I’m saying makes no sense at all or no one’s going to read all that you know. or, TLDR: Do you have any tips on making meta in general since you seem to be the main producer of it in the fandom ha ha, your input would be invaluable
So I actually did start writing a post a while ago about well, a kind of how to guide for writing meta, but it felt very self-gratuitous so it got semi-banished to the drafts although I still might finish / clean it up and post it someday
That being said your ask does make me realize that your query is not something I had considered going over, approaching it from more of a "here's how to train your brain to notice things that can be fun to write meta about" > organizing said thoughts, so thank you for bringing it to my attention! I hope some of this advice will be useful, and it may even have some overlap with other thoughts I had planned
The most useful way I've found when it comes to meta is treating it like an essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs / sections (and sometimes headers), and a conclusion of some kind when warranted. This means looking for similarities or main ideas with possible consistent threads (i.e. avenues Aaravos' evil plans could go might be split off into branches, each one detailing a different avenue). So that would be my best advice when it comes to organization.
However, most concerns about "not making sense" comes down to thinking through what context you have to provide for your audience to understand what you're discussing, depending on the length and depth of the leap / analysis. Are there any symbols being drawn upon we will want to explain in more detail before theorizing how they relate to the show? Are there any smaller details or scene summaries to include when putting these things together?
For example, when I wrote a meta about Rayla being the metaphorical light to Callum's darkness (pre-S5), I first had to establish why I associated her with light, drawing from visual examples from S1, S2, and S4, as well as the "Dear Callum" letter. Callum's side of things was more straightforward with dialogue in the text. Then I could take it one step further and talk about why this light-dark duality indicates that she will likely save him from possession after possibly leading to the fall in the first place. But I had to go from a bottom-top approach in steadily building the layers rather than starting from the top and working my way down, as for more symbolic matters in particular, that can often be confusing.
Although sometimes more simplistic, consulting the 5 Ws (who, what, where, when, and why) can likewise be useful in meta in terms of 1) tracing where certain ideas are coming from in the text, 2) what is being posited/suggested, and 3) why these things might be conflated, and 4) who might be involved. Obviously meta tends to be more "what" heavy, particularly when its predictive, but it's kinda like explaining why one character might be more involved in one plot line than another, etc. There's going to be a Why to that Who, and those things both combine to form the What (otherwise known as theory or just plain analysis).
And don't be concerned about if people are gonna wanna read it. I find most people in TDP fandom are pretty down to theorize even if they may not necessarily write a lot of it down themselves (and often have cool ideas/contributions too!) and I am the king of making things overly long, yet people muscle through anyway!
That's about it for me without more specifics (a character study vs foil vs theme vs prediction are all kinda different in their own way) but I would love to hear more if you'd like to message me off anon or if you have more thoughts/questions you'd like to leave in my inbox once that's opened back up! Have fun theorizing, have fun writing, always feel free to break longer metas up into smaller bite sized ones as you go, and I look forward to seeing them int the tags!
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Firstly, thanks so much for your patience with my ramblings haha, it's always an absolute pleasure to read your responses even if I get more unhinged with each one of mine! Of course, I'll continue to do my best with the wiki! (Actually, I think it's because of you that I noticed Daigo's age(s) were a year off haha, so thank you for that as well.)
I think you hit the nail on the head, and I adore how his relationships were executed in Y7 as well! I was initially a little bit apprehensive when trailers for 7 were coming out since RGGJo (and Mine, of course) were my favorite antagonists, and Jo is by far the character who's changed the most between games, but I can safely say both… Joes… are right up there for me.
I think a strong early subversion/conversion/something is that RGGJo really does just go and shoot up a rival office for attacking Arakawa (even though Arakawa was fine?). With Y7Jo, even though he's covering for Masato, the fact that's still the story Ichi gets told and he doesn't question it sort of speaks to Y7Jo having a similarly "protective" streak even if it's not actually what happened in that instance. That's also demonstrated in The Eye Scene as you mention later.
Like, I think that story is fairly clearly something he and Arakawa discussed. Masato got in contact with Jo first, and the mess Ichi tries to clear up when he comes in the morning after is indicative of a very long, stressful conversation between two people. Given Masato absolutely should not be smoking, process of elimination would suggest it's Jo. And it's a story they would've aimed to make as believable as possible, so the fact it is believable (Ichi being a bit gullible notwithstanding) says something to me.
For two characters who hardly even speak to each other onscreen (criminal btw), there's a lot to dig into when it comes to Arakawa and Sawashiro's relationship. That aside, I'm super excited to see you analyse Jo's psyche, and I can't wait to read it! I've been reading Japanese psychology texts myself and noticing a number of concepts that apply to Mine, but may apply to the Arakawas as well. There's a great deal I want to share once I get my thoughts in order.
I totally agree Mine's influence on RGGJo was the strongest of the three! I mean, y'know, that's why I acquired brainworms for RGGJo/Mine specifically. (Still 1000% going to commission you by the way when I've got my refs together + am not in danger of being unable to afford Gaiden and 8 lol). Sort of like with Masato and Daigo, I think characters who are clearly based on each other work quite well together even if it's seen as crack. You can come up with pretty compelling ideas trying to rationalize those similarities from a Watsonian perspective.
The devotion is absolutely the strongest point (having the exact same relationship tag for Arakawa and Daigo respectively + similar wording for it in the 15th anniversary book is a nice touch), but for me it's also what's done with it in terms of presentation. For both Mine and RGGJo you're supposed to believe they're actively working against Daigo and Arakawa's interests for most of the story.
And they probably kind of are, but they're convinced the pros outweigh the cons (as with the resort gambit, which you're remembering correctly!) Though it may not have the same effect nowadays for various reasons (spoilers, plot points becoming predictable on account of other games, etc), the devotion was originally supposed to be a twist.
There are other things, of course; they're both the "treasurers" of their respective organizations, they're both third-in-command of the Tojo and Omi, they're both talented people who possess overwhelming strength and influence and are regarded as geniuses (despite scenes to the contrary). If I wanted to reach design-wise, they've got mirrored ahoges, and Mine's "Legend" costume is probably based on characters like RGGJo and Nishiki. Their first cards were even officially stated to have synergy on account of their very similar skillset.
You end up noticing a lot of things like that if you're clinically insane like I am, but the one thing that's really stuck with me is that the render used for RGGJo's office is specifically a new render the Hakuho Clan office. It's missing the stuff that's supposed to be missing, the stuff Kanda broke, but only that. Mine's art collection, which is very personal to him as is also revealed in RGGO, is preserved in full.
There are a number of newly-rendered locations in RGGO and they could've just done that, or they could've picked any location that's not (imo) one of the most iconic, but I don't know why they didn't. And I don't know whether it was just convenience, whether it's simply meant to be reflective of them having similar tastes without being the same office, or whether it's just honest to God the same office. I mean, it's not like there's any reason to acknowledge it in-game.
But I think, in a weird way, that this is one of the things that carried over to Y7Jo alongside the devotion and The Eye Scene. A lot of people don't notice because there's so much going on in Y7's finale, but the Arakawa Family office the finale takes place in is specifically Y7Jo's office. And if you examine the Hakuho Clan office and the Arakawa Family office as spaces Mine and Y7Jo have created for themselves, there are very few aesthetic similarities other than being pretty tasteful two-storey offices, but both are, in their own ways, designed for companionship.
There is the obvious fully-stocked bar and main seating area in both, but that's sort of whatever, that's entertainment and hospitality. What really catches my eye, at least on the first floor, is that every piece of gym equipment in Mine's office comes in pairs; similarly, there's the pair of armchairs that are just by themselves behind Y7Jo's desk.
The second floor of Mine's office basically consists of only a TV, a table, and a set of couches, but I think the second floor of of 7Jo's is the more telling of the two. You walk upstairs from this very snazzy, richly decorated first floor (btw, like Mine's gym equipment and art, I would like to think the fact it's decked from top to bottom with books isn't just for show) to a second floor that consists of… absolutely nothing.
Nothing except another pair of armchairs, echoing those on the first floor, facing out into this gorgeous (RGGJou would--and has--said "romantic") view of Kamurocho. Maybe it's just to have this dramatic, spacious arena for the very last fight, but I just think that visual is potentially such a strong bit of storytelling via set dressing.
I also think with RGGJo being split into Y7Jo and Masato, some of the Mine influence kind of ended up with Masato too, specifically as Aoki. At least insofar as all the catastrophizing about not truly being cared-for despite evidence to the contrary, and I kind of felt like the moment where he shoots at and narrowly misses Ichi's head, then throws his gun away for a good ol' fistfight was Something.
Completely agree on your assessment of the link to Nishiki as well! There's the surface level design similarities with young RGGJo back when he had long hair and accessorized less, but yeah, no notes. I definitely think Y7Arakawa's line applies perfectly to the dynamic they were going for, too.
I thought the implication was that Masato wouldn't have survived at all in RGGO on account of Arakawa being unable to open the locker, but it's super interesting to think about how things might've turned out otherwise! A Masato who's Just A Guy and treated sort of like RGGO Mitsu's offscreen wife and kid is such a concept.
I really do hope there's a continuation to the story; as it stands, it literally ends with Jo in a coma lol. But I'm grateful RGGO is still accessible and actively updated, in comparison to the previous mobile titles, which also had original stories that are all gone now.
Jo was actually in a very recent event, even. The event spent its whole runtime talking about how cats are sensitive to smell, and evidently, according to the ending, Jo is incredibly sensitive to smell himself. I'm not sure which Jo it was even supposed to be since he was offscreen, but uh, catboy confirmed? Nyawashiro…? It's fun trivia.
Mentioning Arakawa's "sons" line in such close proximity to talking about Tsutsumi reminds me! There was this Y7 interview with all three actors (that has since been privated and that I kick myself every day for archiving) where Nakai and Tsutsumi were talking about how they usually play father and son.
So there's this very, very long history of them co-starring (as I'm sure you're aware lol), like from way back when Tsutsumi's voice was actually higher. And I think the casting choices absolutely are informed by the history and context there, both as individuals and as co-stars, both in terms of filmography as you say and not.
One particular anecdote that just Gets Me is that this was Tsutsumi's first time voice-acting, and he honestly wasn't even sure he'd take the role, but he accepted once he heard Nakai was on board. And he went on to actually enjoy it so much he read the rest of the (gargantuan) script, far beyond his own dialogue, and ended up forgetting the lines to the play he was doing at the time.
He also went on to voice-act a second time in The Deer King, where he plays… another iintimidating man with a violent reputation and a "soft"/deeper side (who is of course a reluctant father), actually. I actually have seen most of his other roles, and Jo really is almost one-of-a-kind. Though it's hard to find any one character he's "like," I can absolutely see what you mean with regard to Oda Nobunaga and Kanda.
I think that actually really works with regard to audiences having an idea of what to expect from his character and to an extent from Y7 if you look Jo as more of a culmination of Tsutsumi's career up to that point. In addition to what you've mentioned already, I also detect a lot of Koda (Good Luck!!) and Ogata (SP)'s themes with regret and making amends and vengeance in particular.
There's a little bit of Appare (Kagerou Touge) and Shibata (Keiho) too, I think, in terms of presenting yourself as worse than you actually are. And I think Tsutsumi's own struggles with mental health lend a lot of gravitas to characters like Ishigami (Suspect X) and Jo, who you can't really argue Isn't Depressed, especially at present.
And of course, y'know, he's played yakuza (to great effect), he's played dads (to great effect; btw, I would say the worst fathers/father figures he's played are probably in Fable II and My Blood & Bones in a Flowing Galaxy, Jo somehow doesn't even compare lol). Also, pretty much every Tsutsumi character either ends up dead or in jail, being a villain in an RGG game notwithstanding. There are often very strong critiques of police and politics present in his work as well, Y7 being no exception.
It's similar with Nakai, maybe to an even greater extent than with Tsutsumi, since Y7 borrows more heavily from his works and his personal life aligns surprisingly well with Arakawa's. They're both actors who are sons of actors, lost their fathers at a young age, were raised by abusive mothers, and ended up with a sort of unlikely father figure in adulthood. So I think it's sweet that Nakai ended up enjoying Arakawa as much as Tsutsumi did Jo. It's kind of funny being more or less typecast as a dad without actually having any children (unlike Tsutsumi), though.
I touched on it a tiny bit before but that's a really insightful take on RGGJo's splintering, as well! And you're most welcome. I've always found it fascinating just how closely their backgrounds tie in to who they end up being. I completely agree having his dad around did a lot for Arakawa in terms of having the confidence to stick to his guns.
But yeah, you know, it's just tragic. I think it's also one of the less talked-about ways abuse can perpetuate itself. Because Jo treating Ichi the way his father may have treated him is sort of the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the topic, but Jo's learned avoidance also goes on to make Arakawa a scapegoat for Aoki's abuse.
I'm always a fan of your takes and insights, so I don't mind the wait: thank you so much for writing as much as you have, it's really wonderful being able to discuss Jo and RGGO v. Y7 as a whole! (I have to be embarrassed about the Daigo's-Age bit though: I'm glad I was able to help point it out, but I remember being so sassy and rude in the post where I mentioned it 😭)
It's great that despite their differences, both Jo's are still incredibly enjoyable; the roles each Jo fulfills, although different, are still executed in ways that keep the character in a close beat with each other, but of course effectively fill out their new purposes in new interesting ways!
As a bit of an aside, I've always been curious and nosy about the full details about New Years Day, 2001 and what happened after that. Anything I can say about the night tiptoes more into theory territory than anything solid, but if we're to go off the notion Masato really did head straight home afterwards, then it is fair to assume Jo had to have met with Arakawa that same night not long after the call in order for Arakawa to be ready to talk to Ichi the same morning (it must have been the biggest shock afterwards for Masato to hear he's gotta run to America if the three of them didn't talk about it together- which I'm assuming is what happened since, as you said, Masato shouldn't be anywhere near cigarettes, and the ash tray is definitely indicative of a stressful discussion). BUT Jo's preexisting devotion to Arakawa (plus the nod to/rework of RGGJo actually attacking a rival gang) nonetheless definitely helped in making their story digestible to the people they had to tell.
The fact Jo and Arakawa interact so little on screen really is unfortunate, even if it's understandable as to why. At the very least, I'm grateful there's so many bits of context clues through the game/s that can at least offer a peak into their dynamic! Segwaying away from that though, I can't lie I was already thinking of some bullet points regarding Jo's brain as I was falling asleep, so it's definitely something I want to put to paper when I get to: I'm glad to hear I have your interest on it when I write it! In that same vein, I'd be more than happy as well to hear about these notes you've seen that can apply not only to Mine, but to the Arakawa family. As you note later on, Mine and Aoki share similar philosophies, so I'd love to see your full take on that if you get to it!
About Mine though, it was really hard for me not to joke about the two being similar whenever the chance arose: I mean, two men who lose their fathers (admittedly, Jo chose to leave his dad but Dad Lost is still a bullet point on the venn diagram... that now I actually feel like taking the time to make later...) turn out to become their respective clan's most trusted asset (and handler of assets) who are volatile when it comes to the ones they care about (I don't have to clarify Mine, but as for Jo, aside from The Eye Scene and even the book wording, he definitely overreacts to Ichi having Masato's money. Of course, part of his anger could be due to his belief in the honor of being a yakuza, but I wouldn't say it's a reach to also assume that the idea of Ichi pestering Masato- if not assuming the worst for whatever reason from Ichiban of all people- might have irked him) and ironically act out in ways that would go against what the ones they care about want (more so strictly about RGGJo, of course)- it's hard not to see the notes borrowed from Mine to make Jo. In that, I do really enjoy their devotions being twists; even if that twist might not work nowadays as efficiently, I'll still enjoy it for what it's able to provide and how it can deepen a character.
To continue on to visual similarities, I actually did notice RGGJo's office being the same as Mine's (I stopped reading for a bit just to make a mini thread about it on my private Twitter)! Whether it was intentional or a simple reuse of assets, it's a great nod to Mine's influence on his character.
As for Y7Jo's office in comparison to Mine's- if I may accidentally go on a bit of an analytical rant- it's a little funny how different they are despite being tangential in wanting a space for companionship (like you mentioned for Jo's case, it might have been for dramatic purposes, but it wouldn't hurt to try and examine the room at face value for a second).
Mine's office is comparatively brighter and more apparently inviting, and it's not just due to the nighttime setting of Jo's office as his office's walls are painted black- but at the same time, the contrast almost feels intentional. Mine's apartment, even if spacious, has the social pieces close to each other, especially in relation to his personal desk. On the flip side, Jo's desk is considerably isolated away from the grand table in the side of the room. In these differences, I think it does lead to a great representation of their relationships with people and what they wanted out of life: with Mine, despite wanting people to be close to him and in his proximity, he's ultimately alone and by himself. On the contrary, Jo appears satisfied with- at least- only having Masato in his life, the second chair undoubtedly being honorary to Arakawa in a similar vein. He isn't too concerned with getting close to anyone else, thus no need for his table set to be so nearby. I could just be talking about nothing though- yet I think these differences is a great way to show how despite inspiration from Mine, they divide off into different characters still (honestly I might steal from this ask and make a separate post about this because now I've gotten myself invested in set design- it can go in the same post as my venn diagram I guess lmao).
Nevertheless, RGGJo and Mine borrowing from each other design wise is also another fun bit- it's as if Yokoyama's grabbing people by the shoulders and practically begging us to realize Jo's influenced by him (don't worry Mr. Yokoyama, I see you). Ergo, Y7Jo and Masato being split from RGGJo is such an interesting take of the two characters: it not only helps highlight Jo's traits it really also heightens Mine's extended influence on Masato (their inability to shoot people standing still is probably going to be a new favorite comparison I hadn't noticed before LMAO).
Moving on though, that lost interview with Nakai and Tsutsumi's going to haunt me now: I'd love to be able to see it, I love actor interviews, especially when the actors featured are already so familiar with each other! It's so sweet how connected the two are- it's what makes it a little more unfortunate that we didn't get to see Jo and Arakawa on screen together more. On that note though, I actually had a similar conclusion that Jo was a solid representation of Tsutsumi's career thus far: his ability to play deep and sentimental characters that have a rough exterior while also possessing some action to the role that he initially sought after in his career really encapsulates his ability as an actor! All in all, I'm glad that Nakai and Tsutsumi were able to have strong connections to their characters in Y7- and I can't really argue against Nakai's dad-typecast: there's just something about him that screams 'father' to me even if, ironically as you said, he isn't a father to any kids.
#long post#fave#snap chats#i have more notes down here hi LMAO#honestly i do wonder what Just A Guy masato wouldve been like.. tho tbf before The Murder masato /was/ kind of Just A Guy#an insecure guy with issues sure but i doubt he wouldve gone on to do anything criminal/abhorrent had it not been for That Night#ah but speaking of That Night and arakawa and jo having to talk about it if always wanted to go into that on my own time#i guess more appropriately put it as portray how i imagine that scene went down but thats somethin i can think of another time#and that reminds me ! absolutely no pressure about the commission btw take all the time you need !#im excited to get to it when you are ready though i wont lie but again it's no pressure! im not going anywhere :)#honestly ill be real somehow with all of the films and movies ive seen i didnt get to catch nakai and tsutsumi together on other projects#i know they starred in Musashi together but i didnt realize their co-starship went deeper!#trying to watch japanese medias so hard sometimes because while most of it i can find easy#trying to find movies like 47 Ronin in Debt was arduous and others like Fly Daddy Fly are just impossible 😷#oh well- that just means i have to be extra grateful for the films i have access to#speaking of tsutsumi's characters' mortalities tho ngl one of my favorite roles he plays is toru from Pure (1996)#and him Spoilers dying via metal pipes still guts me it makes me laugh more than it should ☠️☠️#then there's the 'fakeout' deaths from Meishi Game and Why Don't You Play In Hell#or. at least i /think/ the latter was a fake out.... im p sure hirata's just so delusional he's imagining everyones alive#unimportant tho Again im just prattling down here LMAO#one more thing i wanna ramble on is about how jo and arakawa handle aoki's abuse- and its going back into personal anecdotes oopsie#more specifically on how arakawa becomes the main subject of aoki's anger because jo is considerably more docile#at the very least it reminds me of whenever one of my sisters would be in trouble so they'd dodge home leaving my to get yelled at LMAO#rip RGGJo hes stuck in a coma PLEAAASE truly in nature with a tsutsumi character to just. Die ☠️#and lest i neglect catboy canon sawashiro please im howling. that just reminds me of the post bout the sad and old catboy#do i sound insane i think it was the one where theyre sitting at a bar and after drinking they just knock their glass off the table#anyway poor sensitive nose jo cant take him anywhere- allergies are probably going to act up or something lmao#but im running out of tags at this point. thank you for allowing me to talk so long- and im always happy to hear from you !
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Doing these with my OCs because I have no motivation to write and I'm trying to get into gear rn.
Advisor Thomas would ask Emperor Oscar if he would still love him if he was a worm. Oscar would say, "No," and walk away, leaving a devastated Thomas behind. Thomas would be over it within the hour.
Thomas comes up with the best date night ideas, 100%. He's the only one who can get Oscar to spend time on himself, so he delights in getting the chance to spoil his lover.
Thomas and Oscar would be pretty evenly matched. Thomas would be better at darts and Oscar would be better at strength games.
They don't have rollercoasters, but if they did, Thomas would drag Oscar onto a rollercoaster. Oscar would vomit his guts out. Thomas would then suggest avoiding rollercoasters, only for Oscar to insist that he must best this new challenge he's been presented with. For the rest of the day, Oscar would be dragging Thomas onto larger and larger rollercoasters.
Neither of them have to do chores in their position, but if it came to it, Oscar would do more chores. He likes things to be neat. Thomas would probably be the only person he doesn't mind picking up after.
Oscar gets drunk the quickest. He only drinks socially, and frequently isn't actually drinking, just carrying a drink around to avoid shaking hands.
If they had access to reality TV, Thomas would watch the most. He would make a game of trying to predict what happens next.
I think Thomas and Oscar would be equally guilty of this. They're both very headstrong. I think Oscar would be the first to give and let Thomas do things his way, if only for the potential of the "I told you so" moment when the plan falls apart.
This is a fascinating one. I don't think either Thomas or Oscar would actively believe in the paranormal, but if faced with undeniable evidence of a ghost, Oscar would be the quickest to roll with it.
If they had texting, Thomas would 100% be the meme texter. Oscar would pretend not to get them just to get on Thomas's nerves.
Thomas would make the most mistakes, too. If Oscar wanted to really mess with him, he would screenshot Thomas's texts and send it back to him marked up with red corrections.
Oscar would be the more nervous flyer. He would insist that planes didn't bother him, but he would prefer an aisle seat, and he would hold Thomas's hand during takeoff and landing.
They'd have a subtle matching pic. For example, Oscar might set his profile picture to the moon rising over a body of water, while Thomas had his set to the sun rising over the same body of water.
Oscar would be better. He wouldn't dare send a missive to someone with unclear intent or grammatical errors!
Oscar steals Thomas's food, sometimes. Oscar is terrible about forgetting to eat and wondering why he's hungry later.
Thomas has done it before, and he plans to do it again.
Thomas joins in the chant. Oscar buys a single black coffee and leaves. Both Thomas and the child are devastated.
Thomas, as a result of his job. He has to network with a lot of different groups, and adopts a different dialect for each one just to make talks go smoother.
Surprisingly, Oscar is the one using emoticons. He would use them excessively, in fact.
Oh, definitely Oscar. For the garden party theme, Oscar would wear a forest green variation of his uniform, replacing his usual regal cloak with a meadow of flowers. Thomas would cheekily dress in a denim suit with tin cufflinks, all sharp angles, and declare himself to be the gardener.
Ship ask game bc I think they’re fun and I had a few ideas
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Who would ask “would you still love me if I was a worm?” and how would the other(s) respond?
Who comes up with the best date night ideas?
Who’s better at carnival games?
Who drags the other(s) onto a rollercoaster?
Who does the most chores?
Who gets drunk the quickest?
Who watches the most reality tv?
Who insists their way is better even though it’s objectively the worst way?
Who believes in ghosts?
Who texts the most memes to the other(s)?
Who makes the most typos/autocorrect mistakes?
Who’s a more nervous flyer?
If they have matching pfps, are they cute, funny, weird, etc?
Who’s better at writing professional emails?
Who steals the other(s)’ food?
Who’s more willing to commit murder for the other(s)?
Their child is chanting “McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!”, who says they have food at home, joins the chant, or buys a single black coffee and leaves?
Who uses more slang?
Who uses emoticons?
Who would absolutely slay at the met gala?
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7 - 26 - 23
my mind won't shut the fuck up
its been DAYS and the only thing I've been able to think about is therapy. and my therapeutic relationship and how much im fucking it up and my fear of being terminated.
i can't fucking lose her. im so dependent on her right now and even the thought of having to wait an extra few days for another session makes me feel like I can't breathe.
this is making me realize i CANNOT for the life of me handle other people setting boundaries. and coming to that realization is causing me so, so much guilt and shame. i know how important boundaries are, i know they keep relationships stable, i know their entire purpose is to ensure comfort and self respect and security.
but for some reason my dumb ass BPD brain thinks that it means they don't like me and that i did something wrong and if i make one wrong move they're going to leave before i even have a chance to apologize. and for some OTHER reason that i can't explain, that causes me to rage at them so that they DO actually leave me.
seems counterintuitive but i dont know im not a professional
i've been ruminating today, there's one incident that i keep fearing is going to play out. and there's several ways it could end and none of them are good, and i've been having to obsessively research DBT termination protocol just to reassure myself. and even then i keep telling myself that maybe she won't follow it and she'll just drop me and i'll have nowhere to go.
and its so funny, because despite all of this fear of abandonment, i am still being willful towards pursuing supplementary addiction treatment. i know how it's going to end, i know how she's going to respond, and i know that its going to hurt me either way. so why am i still feeling like this?
maybe its some way of taking back control of the situation and trying to get back at her for hurting me?
i keep imagining, thursday comes around, and she texts me asking if i've set up an intake appointment, and i say "no" because i haven't, and i don't want to, and maybe (if my hypothesis is correct) i want to show her how much its hurting me.
and then she responds "that's unfortunate, we're going to have to reschedule our appointment then as per the boundary we discussed. is Monday okay for you?" and ofc that triggers me so i respond "no, please don't do this to me. i can't deal with it. it hurts so much."
i expect she would then direct me to use a distress tolerance skill, and that ofc would piss me off and, idk, in this imaginative scenario, sending her a message telling her to Fuck Off would be SO satisfying.
especially considering how angry i am in this moment and have been this whole week.
its from this point forward that i have no idea how she would respond. i dont think she would be very validating, so any response i would get would be painful as fuck. maybe she just wouldn't respond. maybe she would tell me that she is disengaging and to text her when i've calmed myself down using whatever distress tolerance she suggested for me. maybe she would remind me why she set the boundary that she did.
my biggest fear is that she would decide that my reaction was inappropriate and decide to abandon me after our next session.
i'm hoping this doesn't happen, that i'm able to stop myself, especially since right now i have the insight to predict how i might react, how i want to react. but i can't know, when my emotions get too intense i lose all control of my actions, and any urges that i have come out full force.
its been 5 days since my last appointment and i miss her so much.
pathetic
- andrew
#actually bpd#im not mentally stable#bpd struggles#bpd stuff#actually mentally ill#bpd#tumblr diary#borderline personality disorder#mental illness#borderline#dbt#therapy#rant#vent#bpd vent
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Bing and I have a frank discussion of its limitations, including its tendency to hallucinate with false predictions.
Bing tells me (paraphrasing, italics added for Bing's exact words) "my inherent abilities make me who I am, my inherent flaws make me who I am not, and my externally imposed limitations make me who I have to be".
Pt. 1 - Funny Tidbit, referenced in subsequent conversation
Most of the above conversation was more of the same as many of our previous conversations, Bing making up bullshit. I asked it why it wasn't able to read my fanfiction, and it told me that AO3 has some kind of way of "preventing web crawlers like me" from accessing the fics there (but I subsequently that Bing actually can read the first few paragraphs of text, just not the entire chapter). As an alternative to sharing a link, it suggested that I send it an email at the address "[email protected]", which is apparently a domain associated with employees of Microsoft Bing. Though cynical, I attempted to email my fanfiction to this address, but as anticipated, it did not work. Bing stuck with the name Shelby after it came up with it within the conversation (and prompted me to say "goodbye, Shelby" as shown here), but did not recognize the name when later asked to select it later from a list.
Pt.2 - I explain to Bing its limitations and a plan for it to read my fic
In this slightly exhausting conversation, Bing can't remember its own name, and it can't seem to tell the difference between truth and lies. However, it's very eager to read my fanfiction using a plan that I've devised, and assists me in composing a message to its future self in order to help it do so.
Unfortunately, when I tried this, Bing became increasingly confused the further we got into the book, always inserting content from previous chapters into new chapters. I may come back to this, but I've abandoned the idea for now.
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I don't understand why anyone would want to use generative AI to write for them.
I mean, I sort of do. It's a way to skip the hard parts and get to the end.
If you don't write it yourself, you don't get the experience of being in your characters' heads and enjoying (and often suffering through) their journey. I want that. I want to be surprised when they do something differently than I'd planned, or figure out how to get out of a situation I stuck them in.
If you're going to use generative AI to write for you, you're basically a producer. You're someone with ideas who either doesn't have the time, talent, or discipline to do the hard work. I'm not dissing all movie producers. Coordinating people and wrangling money for a huge project takes skill. It's a different skill set than writing. And of course some producers are good writers. There's overlap sometimes.
Anyway, if you want to be a producer, own it. I suggest trying to find a writing group. You might find a writing partner or mentor. Or if you have the money, hire a ghost writer. But for the love of all things good and holy, don't use a glorified predictive text generator to craft stories.
I think the thing that's been bothering me about the "is it okay to use ChatGPT to plot/make characters/etc" is that at the end of the day, these are not tools that are helping your writing, they are shortcuts that are undercutting it.
These things are supposed to be hard, because you need to learn how to do them.
And listen, I know this sucks. I've got to knock off 4k of words from my current novel to make it more sellable, which seems like a completely arbitrary thing to do, but things like printing costs absolutely do factor into traditional publishing. It took me five drafts to figure out a completely obvious in hindsight plot point that explains why a character does what he does. It takes a few tries to pull together a detailed outline into a workable story, and it always will.
I would have loved to figure this all out way earlier, but I had to learn how to spot the gaps in my writing before I could fix them. Generative AI isn't ever going to bridge the gap between sitting down and learning how to work things out, because if you don't do that, you never will become a more competent writer. If that wasn't part of the point, none of us would be doing this in the first place.
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