#i have no idea what i'm doing right now

[orangelilies]

therapy thoughts

today i had my second therapy session for this month (november was a nightmare for scheduling), and two of the stand-out moments involved two tests my therapist conducted with me: 1. the animal test 2. the cube/desert test

i'm mentioning this here partly to reflect and partly to make a note of these tests so i can dig a little deeper and make some notes for myself. i bought a file earlier this year to start collecting therapy exercises/techniques, and both appeal to me.

for a quick rundown: 1. the animal test i was asked to choose an animal i'd transform into given the option. mention the qualities about it i liked - disposition and appearance.

i was asked to choose a second animal, similar deal. then a third, similar deal.

my animals were, in order: 1. sloth 2. panda 3. honey badger we then went through what these animals represent 1. the ideal self - who do i most want to be and what does this reveal about me 2. the perceptual self - how do others see me 3. the true self - who am i actually my take-away was that my ideal and perceptual self are pretty close in alignment. namely, i want to be someone who is seen as being relaxed and low demand and that this is largely the impression i give. what was interesting, though, was the third because not only did i have to explain what a honey badger was but it made me aware of the fact that i'm actually quite a resilient and stubborn person. that i am, for the most part, content with who i am and how i look despite the fact that i am a little bit funny looking.

i'm tempted to send my therapist a picture of a honey badger so she can appreciate what i mean because i'm sure she thinks i made this animal up.

2. the cube test i'm going to leave this link here, because i did do a bit of digging on this one and found it to be pretty interesting.

we did a slight variation of this one in that i was asked to imagine a desert scene and not a meadow, but i can see how either could translate.

takeaways from this for me was: 1. my cube was large, grounded and made of glass (stained not transparent) which meant that i'm a more or less grounded and transparent person. we spoke a little about the choice of making the glass stained (i said blue) and how this color symbolism tied into my self-concept.

2. my ladder was metal, propped against the cube. this is apparently not unusual (the propping against the cube).

3. the cube and ladder were directly in front at me, but at a distance so i could see the whole of the cube. we didn't talk about distance so i might go look into that later, honestly.

4. my horse was beside me, looking very confused. it was a painted mustang (although my brain kept going to a more tortoise shell pattern, which may or may not be a thing). this was apparently significant because it reflected my friendships and romantic relationships.

5. any plant life in the area. i, knowing little if anything about the desert despite having a wonderful friend from arizona, who will probably disown me for my ignorance, so i just picked a (although i thought) arbitrary number - eight. turns out it wasn't that arbitrary at all but reflecting the number of people i love/am closest too; wouldn't you know it, it really was eight!!

6. finally, i had to imagine a storm and then talk about how the storm would affect these individual elements. the takeaway here was that, even if the storm was bad, it wouldn't break or destroy or otherwise ruin any of the other elements, which apparently means i'm quite comfortable in both myself and in my relationships. which was nice if a little surprising to me? yet as i think about it, i think i have been feeling a lot more certain lately. more grounded.

in other words, it was a good session. it was especially good for me to realize that, actually, the growth and deeper understanding i've been working toward seems to actually be happening and isn't just an aspirational thing i'm striving toward.

[gatoiberico]

parfait pals

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Welcome to the Dungeons of Fear and Hunger.

[bitegore]

Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.

Don't do their work for them.

[kaiserouo]

Well someone has to give it its driver updates, Gabriel

[egophiliac]

Did peepaw come home?!

HE DID! :D! luckily it only took me three ten-pulls; I think my past experience of being so thoroughly denied a Fairy Gala Ortho made me more worried than I should have been. may the gacha blessings pay forward to everyone else! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

so far this is hands-down the funniest Lilia card, because he'll say something all edgy and badass in that deeper ~General Vanrouge~ tone and then follow it up immediately with one of the non-card-specific cutesy Lilia lines, and it gets me every time

[ambusterpm]

Has it become obvious yet that I just really like drawing characters as kids

[vaggieslefteye]

CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

[fisheito]

collab #2 with @xenole i was given a chibi yakumo and i.. i...... turned it into thiS

[mourn-and-watch]

so if solas sees himself in the inquisitor because of how they were made a leader, a prophet and a symbol by people who followed them, just as fen'harel had been made a leader and a saviour for by the freed elven slaves, will he see himself in rook because they're left alone against the threat they can't possibly defeat without singlehandedly making decisions that will impact the world in unknown ways, just as fen'harel had been left alone against evanuris with no other option but to create the veil

[dianartemiss]

i think what Jason wants (from Bruce at least) is to be loved transcendentally. he wants to be loved with earth shattering intensity, the kind that'll raze the world to the ground when lost and inspire greatness when present. Jason wants to mean something and to matter more than anything except for (maybe) another (worthy) human. Jason wants to be shown love in the way that he experiences love. but that kind of exclusive focus is impossible when your dad is Batman.

[vargaslovinghours]

And never let you go ♥

Bonus without the overspill lighting:

[eddis-not-eeddis]

I need some prayers. My health is really bad right now, and i might lose my job.

[factual-fantasy]

WHY ARE YOU DOING COMMISSIONS FOR FREE?

Also if you're still taking suggestions, could you draw Michael Afton?

I don't wanna call this free commissions or requests lest I feel weird about it and don't wanna do them anymore-- Me being open to art suggestions is just that. Art suggestions to help me stay out of this art block that I'm dangerously close to falling into..

And in case anyone is wondering why I don't just.. do actual commissions or merchandise? There's just soooo manyyyy barriers in the way that I just don't have the mental energy to figure out atm.. plus I have no idea what kind of world I'm stepping into once money gets involved with my artwork-

[fuckinart]

(they'll never understand) How could I ever understand? No, I don't have to understand. I don't wanna understand. So I will never understand. (we could have everything)