#i have no fucking clue what else to add so here goes nothing

[rockruin]

❝ WRITE A LIST OF THINGS YOU'LL REGRET: I'LL BE ON TOP SMOKING A CIGARETTE ❞.  ————  independent and selective DAISY JONES from the novel and upcoming miniseries DAISY JONES & THE SIX —— presence of mature and triggering themes, please only follow if 21 or older. narrated by rylan.

[readsrealm]

Buggy & The Roger Pirates Thing (maybe even a little Corabug!?)

Buggy always feeing like he doesn’t belong on Rogers crew. Like he was just brought on to be a playmate for Shanks (practically a pet). He’s not entirely wrong either most of the crew shows unintentional favoritism to Shanks and don’t really remember that Buggy’s there half the time.

The next island they visit they actually forget Buggy. Buggy himself doesn’t even realize until hours later, Roger Pirates far away and still unaware of their mistake. Buggy’s devastated, he kinda wanders around the islands small town and into its forest in shock and despair before coming upon a familiar face. A blond marine who he’d met in the town earlier who was now running through the woods. They had a good conversation earlier and all Buggy had really learned was the boys name. Rosinante.

Rosinante takes Buggy back to Sengoku who goes “WAIT A MINUTE” and then declares that Buggy’s been taken in for ransom. Buggy tells them that nobody is going to come for him.

They wait a couple days, then a week, then a couple weeks, finally two whole months go by and nobody’s showed up for Buggy. Sengoku is disturbed by this and does some digging. Apparently a vote to retrieve Buggy was placed and the majority thought it was too much work for the second cabin boy (the add on, the spare, the unpromising backup). There was also info that Roger and the losing side were upset with the polling results but weren’t going to do much about it.

Sengoku decides right there and then he’s gonna see why Roger let Buggy onto his crew in the first place and why they don’t want Buggy back.

And…..

Sengoku has no clue why they wouldn’t want Buggy to return to them. He’s crafty, smart, loyal. He’s a good kid by pirate standards. Clearly a trouble maker but the passion he has for chemistry and science is unmatched. The way he solves puzzles and can worm his way out of any situation socially is insane. His treatment of people around him and of Cora himself (even if it’s special treatment😉) is admirable. Not to mention the boys luck.

Sengoku suspect it’s cause of Buggy’s less upfront way of fighting and actually assessing situations is what put The Rogers off. Buggy may be cowardly but if he really is needed he’ll do his part. Plus his long range weapons (bombs, altered guns) are nothing to sneeze at.

Buggy ends up staying with the marines for a really long time even if in the beginning he said he was going to escape and get far far away from them. Instead staying, training and getting stronger.

Decades later Red Haired Shanks comes face to face with a marine with long blue hair and the nickname Ringmaster.

Okay first of all thank you for writing this.

now right now I’m crying because that’s just fucking sad.

them leaving buggy there and how they decided is disgusting and I’m literally devastated. Poor buggy wanna hug him so bad.

For me Roger here failed as the captain bc who tf cares what the crew thinks. He is the captain and he should have been defending Buggy but he didn’t. In here Ace was right Roger was a monster bc left a child who looked up to him like no one else ever did in a town from nowhere behind. I wonder how shanks reacted.

I kinda wished that- I don’t know if you watched the LA but there Garp is on the Plattform where Roger gets killed. I wish that buggy would arrive the Plattform when Roger finished his speech him thinking he will die with no regrets and with starting the new era but the moment he saw buggy his smile vanished and he knew he could no longer die at peace.

I have two things in mind of what buggy could say

He would smile at roger with a trembling body saying something like: “I hoped you lived a good live “captain”

or

2. He would be cold and saying shit like: “That’s it Gol D. Roger. You and your loved one will pay for your crimes” and he would mean it bc with people who believe in him he would get stronger and have more determination

I’m kinda surprised that Sengoku would take with if we think about what he did to Ace considering that wanted to execute him for being roger son not being the second commander of Whitebeard who was equal to roger. But I do not complain. If I think about it Buggy could be trained by Sengoku and Garp and Tsuru. Sengoku and Garp were also equal to roger. And while Sengoku could teach him to be smarter fight smarter, Garp could train him in strength combat and haki. Tsuru could help him to calm himself down and always keep his cool. So he could be powerful yonko level bc that what actually oda said. If Buggy would take effort he would be yonko level.

You know what a sad part of this is Buggy is the kind of character who gets treated bad by the “good” ones (in here the goal of the main character) but he would not get justice. He would die and maybe the others would regret it but probably not the same episode one person would say “he would want that you hate yourself…” like BITCH OFC HE WOULDNT BUT YOU SHOULD BC YOU DESERVE THAT.

anyways I’m getting of the topic I think Buggy is smart and a sweetheart if you treat him well. He maybe loves treasure in an unhealthy amount and can be a little arrogant but it’s like he is be mean but still would do everything for you if you treat him right. (I also believe that he would not have a pride problem to apologize if he did something wrong but that another thing).

again with the Plattform (I hope it’s Plattform English is not my native’s language) the thing is Shanks would see it. And I think no matter if choice one or two you choose he would be angry…even though he has no right too. But Buggy doesn’t care about shanks…well not anymore bc he has Rosi. While he hadn’t a bad relationship with Shanks his relationship with Rosi is much better. Shanks if not meant to be mean only teased him which lead to the whole crew teasing him and Buggy didn’t like that. I mean I don’t think he had a problem with some teasing bc that normal and fun you know? Everyone does that but they teased him about everything and it kinda hurt bc it gave off the feeling he wasn’t taking seriously at all. That he couldn’t be allowed to be sad or scared…genuinely.

With Rosi it wasn’t like that he got comforted motivated. Instea if being told that “a pirate isn’t allowed to be scared” or “are you hiding again” or “you wouldn’t be scared if you trained harder like shanks” he gets “it’s fine I protect you” or “don’t be scared buggy! Your strong and if anything happens I’m right here” and it helps bc it motivates him and them saying that they believe he is strong wants him to prove that and he doesn’t and he makes mistakes and learns from them and gets better bc that how it should be done

So if Buggy and Shanks would meet after decades Shanks would be furious at Buggy for doing this to their captain. But with just a few sentences Shanks anger turned into guilt

“Roger didn’t want me. He left me and abandoned me. No one wanted me”

So I think Shanks would withdraw and just go with it. But now he would feel emptier. It was one thing not having seen buggy and him officially cutting of the relationship was hard for Shanks but he shouldn’t complain he didn’t say anything when they voted to leave him even if he didn’t want that he could do more. Bc they would listen to him.

Buggy himself would live a good life being a very much known marine (vice admiral) having Rosi by his side (this is a Corazon lives AU) and be happy.

I even think that Luffy would be on Buggy’s side if he heard that story. But still would not stop being a pirate

[callisto-cecilia]

I have sooo many thoughts about Diluc hes my babygirl and im lowkey obsessed with him so here we are

contains: nsfw headcannons (please dni if under 18), soft dom diluc, blowjobs, eating you out/fingering, cockwarming, not gender specific but vaguely written with afab reader in mind. Can be interpreted however you want though idc. real long post i rant a lot

-------

He's more dominant, but hes gentle. He's in charge but he's in it for your pleasure. He wants you to feel good! Service top all the way. Anyone who says he's a mean dom is simply incorrect xoxo (i respect your headcannons i just dont agree lol)

He needs to be as close to you as physically possible when you're fucking. He's passionate, always kissing you or holding you close to him. Any position where he can look at your face is great as well, he wants to see your expressions so he knows what you like.

He likes it when you sit in his lap so he can wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you tight against him while he thrusts up into you.

Another favorite is you laying on your back so he can either fuck you or eat you out, he goes crazy a little bit if you wrap your legs around him. He loves your thighs, always marking them up.

The guy has no clue how to handle it when you're pleasuring him though. If you ever give him a blowjob expect him to flush as red as his hair, trying his best to muffle his moans and leaning his head back to let out shakey breaths as you make him feel good. He might apologize if he cums on your face, but secretly he thinks you look gorgeous like that. He's not the type to thrust up into your throat unless he's super needy. Tease him a little bit, it'll be fun!

If he ever sees you wearing one of his shirts it would actually be over for him. Seeing you in his shirt, ESPECIALLY if its that and nothing else, would be his limit and he would genuinely have to take you then and there.

Surprisingly, not very into cockwarming. Well... he is in theory. He loves the idea of it, you on his lap while he's working at his desk, but feeling you squeeze around him and being so close to you makes him too needy. If you cockwarm him expect to be bent over his desk within minutes, or you'll end up with him bouncing you up and down on his cock as he buries his face in the crook of your neck with a muffled moan.

You already know this man is strong, it takes a lot of muscle to swing around a giant weapon as effortlessly as he does. He takes pride in that, and being able to pick you up or maneuver you around definitely adds to that.

He's SO GOOD with his hands, which are the prettiest actually. Long fingers with neat nails. His hands arent slender or broad, very average actually, but they are pretty. His veins are visible too which is hot. Knows exactly how to curl his fingers to hit all the spots to have you falling apart for him.

[zerothejackal]

This post contains textual TMOSTH spoilers! so if you haven't played for whatever reason... don't look!

This is still a crazy theory that mostly feels like a headcanon or whatever the fuck matpat does and calls "theories." But, hey, it still deserves to be updated!

After all, y'all seemed to like the crazy theory in its raw poorly-written state! :D

the final argument is still... not the best, and feels even MORE headcanony than everything else... but i think it's neat!

here's my hypothesis again, for those joining in late, and because that's how theorizing works:

Barry the quokka, our avatar, is a chaos user.

Now, I know what you're thinking...

"There's no proof of that bestie, bro's onto nothing 💀🔥🔥!"

well, normally I'd say:

"It's just my own silly headcanon without any support ^_^ just for fun!"

EXCEPT, there may be some evidence, in the behavior of the THINK minigames.

So what if these minigames are more real that what we're led to believe, I mean Barry is clearly not carrying his DreamGear with them, as no character ever brings it up.

my theory here is that Barry has a weakened/dormant ESP ability. Let's go through my evidence, shall we?

(and some extra stuff i noticed after writing the original post, and that other users brought up)

Evidence No.1 — The nature of the interrogation sections.

Every Interrogation section unfolds as follows:

We have Barry collect the clues (although Tails gives his own insight, Barry is always the one to notice them.)

Tails mentions that he and Barry have formed a case/hypothesis, or Tails goes directly to make an accusation or argument.

(Barry themselves progressively wonders why they are added onto the accusation with Tails)

We have to select the exact correct clue/object from Barry's inventory to support Tails' argument.

We then go through the THINK minigame so that Barry can order their thoughts.

Tails explains his argument with Barry's proof flawlessly, although Barry often lags behind during this part.

"But this isn't proof of anything--"

SILENCE! TO THE DUNGEON WITH THIS FOOL!

I believe that these "game features" can be explained in-universe through some sort of telepathy.

"But, what is it there to explain? All of that seems normal to me?"

then, my good friend, you may need to re-read!

(especially the italicized and bolded bits)

Barry is always the one to find clues and stuff—but we will go over this later. So, remember it.

And even though Barry is not often fully aware of what Tails is thinking, he always adds them to the accusation, it's always "we," and never "I."

(correct me if I'm wrong here but I don't think Tails ever excludes us once we have gathered enough clues)

And while yes, Tails is really friendly and Barry is basically playing to be the detective's assistant, maybe its because Tails notices something we don't

The game doesn't actually show Barry telling their thoughts to Tails, yet both Tails and them manage to form a flawless argument from some object or trash that was lying around.

SURE, MANY TIMES THEY HAVE DIALOGUE DURING THE INTERROGATION, RIGHT AFTER A MINIGAME, BUT NOT ALWAYS

He comments on them first to give the player insight on what we should be looking for, but Barry never really tells Tails directly what they're thinking on.

And their dialogues often evolves from a small argument being immediately supported by Tails with a stronger argument.

And look, Tails is a smart kid, we know this. But intelligence is tied to specifics. One cannot be intelligent on basically everything.

But even if, for the sake of the argument, Tails were to be smart at everything... he's still a kid. He's going to be prone to making mistakes, many times before him being a kid has overcome his high intelligence.

terrible example but, look at Forces.

But somehow Tails always has something to say during an interrogation, and almost always includes Barry even if the quokka is not adding much to the conversation.

Now, going back to "all of this can be explained with telepathy": What if Barry has been giving information to Tails with this unknown power.

And Tails, being always surrounded by chaos users, doesn't point it out because, well, he's simply used to odd shenanigans when it comes to chaos powers.

Though the part of "Barry always finds the clues" feels less of telepathy and more of something else, but the theory isn't over!

After all, my hypothesis was that Barry had an ESP ability power, but I never specified which one. So let's continue.

Evidence No.2 — Barry is somehow aware of what they should be looking for, always.

Barry is the one to always inherently notice something relevant, even if Tails is the one to point out its importance, this is shown through the game outlining with green certain objects.

While Barry probably doesn't see this outline that helps the player, they probably do notice the objects over other things—but hey, maybe they do see it, but they... think it's normal.

something like that is probably something they've never questioned before.

They are the one to also find which specific clues or people can aid to Tails' argument, this is especially noticeable on the final interrogation, where Barry has their time to shine.

this specific section, originally, was part of evidence No.1, but I think it deserved to be pointed out individually.

something, something, some sort of clairvoyance or greater awareness acting here.

But that is not all, Barry is also somehow aware of "Chaos Control," and while it could be argued that they SHOULD be aware of it, because this technique has been used to save the world several times.

What they shouldn't be fully aware of, probably, is what the technique is specifically called, for all the public knew, chaos control was just another power of Shadow and Sonic.

But given that in-universe this surprises everyone, let's assume that Barry shouldn't know of it in general. And yet they still know of it.

And talking about supernatural awareness...

That time in which Barry pointed out Espio talked on italics? Sure, its treated as a joke but... what if it wasn't entirely one?

Evidence No.3 — Barry's physical actions during THINK minigames.

there's at least one (and two debatable one) occasions on which Barry performs a seemingly physical action during a THINK minigame.

First, when barry has to distract Knuckles so that Tails can fix the machine.

Knuckles seems to be going in for the kill, and prevent Tails and Barry from seeing the score of the arcade machine, Tails tells Barry to distract Knuckles while he fixes the machine.

But then we get a THINK minigame, instead of ... anything else, which is odd, Barry should be actively preventing knuckles from advancing, not thinking.

This implies barry was doing something while thinking, and while they could've tried to hold knuckles or something, we know by previous dialogue that Barry both is weak physically and that Knux wouldn't hesistate to hurt them!

The second time, which is highly debatable, is when Sonic is breaking the doors to advance.

Sonic mentions how he's gonna need a few hits to break through the doors, but instead of just seeing a small cinematic (like the one we're shown after the minigame)

We go through another THINK minigame, and after it, Sonic breaks the door with a single spin dash, it's odd that we see this.

Not much from a gameplay perspective, sure, but still overall strange in several levels, But personally, I choose to believe Barry is somehow unconsciously giving power to Sonic!

whether it is an ESP ability or just poeer of friendship is up to debate though...

The third time is during the boss fight against the Mirage Express itself.

Not only we do not get to really see how sonic and his friends are fighting the train, but what we do see... doesn't add up, especially so with the THINK minigame we have to play.

We see the flicky which should probably be inside the train, yet we see Amy hitting the train from the outside, and the minigame itself puts us in Sonic's place outside the train?

But like the previous point, what if this was explained thanks to Barry and what they could be doing. The last fight is a THINK minigame because Barry was helping.

Do you think after being inspired by Sonic himself, Barry would just stay there cowering?

Especially seeing, seemingly, everyone fighting along? Such a strong bond between the different friends of Sonic, from Vector to Tails.

He, without probably realizing, could've helped with some power, giving Sonic the information needed to hit the train.

Or perhaps even using some psychokinesis to attack too, we really don't see what's happening, and technically we only see Amy somehow delivering a hit to a train actively moving.

So anything goes, I suppose

this point is the weakest of the whole theory, but I think it still holds some weight, especially since no one seems to point anything up.

But I like to think that Barry did something, and based on previous time's they've done odd stuff... well, I just connected two dots.

Conclusion: Barry is a psychic chaos user, and they probably don't know.

[burritoreviewsstuff]

Okay I finally finished Good Omens 2 (S2) and here is what I think of it

So Let’s Talk about Good Omens 2

First off, I have to give a round of applause to you Tumblr. There’s no doubt in my mind S2 was inspired by this site’s carnal desire for angst and that our local cryptid, Neil took that into consideration when writing S2. So for all of the people broken and depressed over the ending, the only people you have to blame is yourselves.

Neil served what the fans wanted, what this site wanted. What you wanted.

Am I upset with how it played out? No…but the journey to the big reveal at the end had its highs and lows. The main thing that I didn’t like is that they saved all the answers for the final episode, and I do mean ALL the answers to the questions that came up in episode one. Although, the plot twists were good.

Anything unexpected that came out of the plot was just…good. I’m not going to list them all here to prevent spoilers, but the unexpected was never a letdown. Any unexpected joke made me laugh my ass off.

Like, who the hell was gonna expect Jon Hamm to just wiggle his butt like a lost puppy at the camera? The answer is no one.

I just noticed the gigantic fucking clue to the plot twist was that when Jim first met Crowley he was wearing that blanket like he did in the statue.

And it wasn’t until the end with Nina and Maggie that they were supposed to be a parallel to Az and Crowley that we will ‘wait and see’ what happens and that ‘no one should play a hand on how they live their lives’. The same could be said for what happened to Job. His entire life was ruined over a bet between God and Satan.

The low points of the series I definitely thought were the excessive human cast who kind of…were there? We really didn’t need to spend as much time on them as we did. Disclaimer: no I’m not saying this as an anti-LGBTQA+ statement, I’m saying this as a perspective from the plot. And that ‘seamstress’ joke was just…it wasn’t funny.

Overall, episodes 2-5.5 felt like filler and only episodes 1, the second half of 5, and 6 felt like it was building structure to the plot. Everything else in between was mostly filler. Nothing wrong with it, but when a lot of nothing goes on that doesn’t really add up to some threads being tied together is quite bland and boring when a manhunt for the Archangel Gabriel is how you begin the premise for the season. The Nazi Zombies? Never come up again and are still alive roaming the Earth for all we know.

But hey, any moment where Jon Hamm was doing absolutely nothing and being funny was an absolute delight.

I AM DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE I WAS NOT QUENCHED IN THE GABRIEL STRIPPING SCENE YOU MAKE ME ANGRY NEIL! (I’m kidding although…if there’s an deleted scene…can you like…share? 👀👀👀 Once the strike’s over of course) Let’s be real if they showed Jon Hamm stripping the show would turn into ‘Good Gabriels’.

I busted out laughing because I AM ASSUMING IT WAS A COINCIDENCE THAT HE ALSO HAD THE KEN FUR COAT YOU KNOW THE ONE

Like no one is talking about this and it makes me sad

I also want to figure out what the significance of Muriel having The Crow Road by Iain Banks at the end of the series and what it is supposed to represent.

I hope Shax gets some more development.

And Aziraphale and Crowley? I’m already calling it now because my deductions are never wrong, but by the end of it all they will ineffably out on Alpha Centauri enjoying each other’s company. Alpha Centauri has been referenced too many times to not be a staple plot point.

The ending didn’t really feel like an end. It was more of an intermission or Third Act Breakup.

So when Good Omens 3 comes up with the Rapture and Second Coming I really hope they just call this man up to play Jesus.

It would be hilarious that we expect Jesus to be this humbled carpenter who is all wise from Nazareth but after years upon years he just became some chill broski from Florida.

Overall, it was an enjoyable fun time. Upon giving out my thoughts, it’s ineffable that this is Part 1 of 2 seasons (at least). More than likely S3 was in the works, but the strike happened and put everything on hold. For now.

[lnsfawwi]

cat sitting

ship:winterhawk

characters:Bucky,Clint,Lucky,Alpine

note:not my first language. also pre canon winterhawk.

------

Bucky goes to pick up Al with a fruit basket for Misty.

Misty glares as Al hops onto Bucky’s waist and climbs all the way up to his shoulder, rubbing her neck on Bucky, scenting him, meowing softly. “She’s a nuisance.”

Bucky smiles apologetically, “still pals?”

“as long as you don’t ask me to catsit anymore.” Misty takes the fruit basket, so Bucky’d say he’s forgiven.

Alpine has her own mysterious system of deciding whom to mess with. Bucky, never. Nat, not in a million years. Steve, she’s the sweetest fluff ball ever walked on planet earth. Carol, only when paired with Chewy. Kate, full goblin mode. Parker, total jerk. Stark, evil incarnate. To be honest Bucky hasn’t the foggiest clue why, the more pressing issue is that he’s running out of favors and there are only so many missions one can take a cat with.

“steve, pal, think you can take Al for a couple of days...oh. Ok, I’ll just find someone else. No, don’t worry. She misses you too.”

“Bobbi, are you free? I need to drop Al off a few days...I’ll even say please...yeah, fine. No, don’t sweat it. I’ll call someone else.”

“Nat...no. I was calling to see if you can take Al.”

“Luke, listen, I need you to babysit for me, just a couple of days...no, I’ve got a cat, you’ve only met her like half a dozen times. How can she be allergic, isn’t she a superbaby or something?”

“Daisy, like cats? No? Okay. Nothing.”

Another alert pops up on his phone, he really needs to find someone to take Al. Right fucking now.

That’s how he ends up calling barton. To be fair, it’s not that he doesn’t trust Clint with his cat, only after kate’s unfortunate experience, he suspects the chances of Al liking another hawkeye is non existent. Bucky just doesn’t want to cause his friends more trouble, ok? He’s a nice person.

“Clint, you home?”

“yeah, why.” the man sounds like he’s half conscious.

“I have a mission and I need you to take care of Al for me.”

“sure. Lucky’s here too, I’ll just open a shelter.”

“are you drugged?”

“only one ibuprofen and that’s 20 minutes ago.”

Bucky sighs. Why the hell does Clint always get his ass kicked like a street kid? He looks down to the white fur ball inside his jacket, “promise me to behave this time?”

“meow.”

“Good girl.”

-

Clint looks every bit as bad as he sounds. Several cuts on his face, a long, deep cut on his right thigh, the gauze on his left torso is stained with blood. Lucky circles Bucky twice before settling next to Clint, nuzzling Bucky’s hand with his nose. Bucky pets him while staring at Clint, he asks, “what the hell happened?”

“nuthin’, you shoulda see the other guys.” Clint’s gaze drops to alpine and shifts back to Bucky, “you don’t have a cage? Or a leash? Toys? Litter box?”

“that’s a lot to carry in my jacket.” said Bucky, deadpan. He scoops alpine out of his jacket, kissing the cat on the forehead before turning her to face Clint, “this’s Clint. He’s face is pretty messed up already, so no need to add more.”

The cat meows, tail wagging slightly.

“hey there.” Clint reaches one of his fingers under Al’s nose - Misty got bitten right then. Al sniffs it and makes no reaction, naturally Clint takes it as cue to move forward. He uses 3 fingers to scratch Al’s chin, to Bucky’s surprise, she starts to make satisfactory purring sound almost instantly.

“ha, she likes me.” Clint exclaims.

Bucky hands the cat over to Clint, who takes her into his arm, cuddling her like a new born child. Al is a slender cat, no bigger than Clint’ forearm, she drapes over Clint’s arm with her eyes closed, enjoying scratches. Somehow it makes Bucky jealous.

“I gotta go.” Bucky announces. He’s still looking at Alpine intently, almost expecting that’d get her to snap back to her senses. The little traitor only purrs louder.

“Al, say bye to your greasy assassin papa.”

“meerrr.”

Bucky gives lucky a loud kiss on the head before leaving.

-

Bucky gets a photo of Al and Lucky sharing a cushion together at 9pm EST from Clint.

-

Bucky gets a photo of Al stealing a chunk of salmon from Clint’s plate at 7am EST from Clint.

-

Bucky gets a photo of Al and Lucky walking down the central park at 7.30 am EST from Clint.

-

Bucky gets a photo of Al chasing a butterfly in the central park at 7.46 am EST from Clint.

-

Bucky gets a photo of Al being petted by a little girl by a taco truck at 8.02 am EST from Clint.

-

Bucky gets a video of Al being licked wet by Lucky at 9.21 am EST from Clint.

-

Bucky gets a video of Al and lucky chasing a tennis ball in the apartment at 10.30 am EST from Clint.

-

Bucky gets a video of his ruined apartment as a result of Al and Lucky chasing around at 10.41 am EST from Clint.

-

Bucky gets a video of Lucky barking at the window while Al stalks the windstill with her tail raised high at 11.22am EST.

-

“stop sending me stuff. I’m on a mission.”

-

Bucky gets a selfie of Al, Lucky and Clint 30 seconds after his text. Bucky sighs. And saves the photo, as he does all the other stuff Clint’s sent him.

-

Bucky shows up at Clint’s door 5 days later with cuts on his face, a deep laceration on his right side of torso and a twisted right knee.

“looks worse than it actually is.” Bucky says.

“no shit.” Clint crosses his arms and stares. Bucky stares back.

Bucky lets out a frustrated sigh, “can I just get my cat back so I can go home?”

“she’s napping.” Clint lets Bucky into the living room. Al is lying on Lucky’s bed - Kate’s taken Lucky for a PI case yesterday - her tiny body rises and falls with each breathe. It makes Bucky feel home.

“wasn’t your place raided by Hydra?” comes Clint’s voice behind him.

“I still got that place in Manhattan.” Al wakes up before Bucky can reach her, but it’s fine, because Al is equally excited to see Bucky again. She jumps right into Bucky’s open arms and starts to scent him immediately.

“why did you move anyway?” Clint sits down in the sofa, hugging a mug close to his chest.

Bucky shrugs. “homesick.”

“you spent, like, 10 years in Indiana before you moved to New Jersey of all places. And that’s a century ago.”

“just because you don’t like the midwest doesn’t mean other people can’t.”

Clint grunts, frustrated. He doesn’t miss Iowa or anything that’s got to do with his past, before he became an Avenger. If he has to be honest, his Avengers days aren’t always sunshine and birds singing either. Besides, he isn’t exactly an Avenger anymore anyway.

Clint takes a gulp of his tea - yes, he drinks something other than coffee thank you very much - and discovers that Bucky’s still standing in his living room. “what?”

Bucky tilts his head. “are you saying you miss me in here, in New York?”

“wow, didn’t know you’ve got a head injury as well.” Clint ducks his head cuz he totally isn’t saying that.

“I’ve had enough brain damage to last 3 life times, Clint.”

“and I’ve had more concussion than all the Avengers combined, it’s not a competition.” Clint realizes he has crossed to the ‘bitter’ side of sarcastic, he doesn’t know why he is suddenly uncomfortable with Bucky’s presence here. He jokes, in an attempt to relief the tension, “Get out of my apartment. I’m trying to meditate here.”

“I can recommend you some music.”

“no need.” because he doesn’t, and will no meditate. “just send me photos of your cat. And I retain visitation rights.”

When Clint looks up, Bucky is smiling. “sure.”

[hoovesandfloorpaws]

[since everything under a Read More cut gets deleted in case a blog deletes/gets deleted and the WayBackMachine isn’t good with pictures, for Archive Purposes Only, I will add the most important bits of the/rest of the full post and have also checked/updated/added the source links to the best of my abilities.]

"EDIT: So there’s been footage of them since I made this masterpost, so every time there’s more I’m going to add those up top here. If you’re reading this through a reblog just check the main post if there’s anything new.

LOUIS DOING A SIGN LANGUAGE VIDEO??? ARE WE OK? I’M NOT OK [this was 2021]

Harry saying *something* to filming fans on set:

Initial masterpost:

I have no idea what Harry signs here, but it looks like he knows what he’s doing.

Nobody imagine them taking classes and practicing together: [too late, i'm imagining it 😭😭😭]

Harry during Sign of the Times at MSG (full video). This was on June 21st 2018, exactly a year after the passing of his stepfather, and it’s said he’s signing “father”. However, if he is, it’s ASL not BSL, and I don’t think he’s doing it right. (sign)

Riiiiight noooowww awishuweheeeewithmeeheheee

It’s said that in this fragment Louis signs “H my boy” in BSL. I cannot find the source, so I’m not sure whether it would fit given the context. He might just be making a cool move and nothing more, but it’s compelling.

Here’s “H” in video:

which isn’t exactly the same. However, if it is meant as an H, would that mean every time Louis has been wiping his hands like that as he does, has it been a sign for H; for Harry all this time? If so, I might have to revisit.. well.. all footage of Louis of the past decade. I mean. He does it a lot.

If wiping hands means H, then this is “H forever/hope/promise”?

It’s his go-to thing, I’m low key eyeing footage now, I do am aware how far this is reading into things...

Let’s get back to something more substantial.

During singing “Like this”, not sure if he signs that, too

signs Thank you

Before the moment below they just sang Fresh Prince of Bel Air quite chaotically, [...] Harry says “we didn’t think that one through” and rather than responding to him through his mic, Louis signs something, to which Harry responds “Just telling ya”. At the end it looks like the sign for “nagging”. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s along the lines of “girl, why are you nagging”. (video)

Do we want to get into the dirty part of their sign language? 

I mean... I don’t want to explain this.

longer version, because smirks

I... again... maybe just let this speak for itsself.

Thank you, moving on.

Louis signs “mine”, but with the wrong hand and [then] corrects himself [and] gets a thumbs up from Harry.

Now, I don’t know if this is to Harry (some think it is [linked blog no longer active]), to me it looks like he’s maybe just asking someone to put his mic up. (video)

[live concert producer here: yes, he is. they are both asking for more volume of their own voices in their in-ear mixes. also, in the instances where we've seen Louis forming a circle (which sometimes can be mistaken for a heart), he's most likely asking their/the FOH's sound engineer to turn up the entire volume (click or count-ins, vocal mix and a possible backing track) for his in-ear mix. - 2nd clip in this video]

Same goes for this one?

I mean there’s tons of “change up my mic/ my sound” signing u7y<that was my cat’s paw saying hi FDKSAFJHKAJ SHOO

Just put my mic up.

And another version, because that sassy shit was more elaborate than that high quality gif I found:

Mine, too, please.

The gif says “thank you”, but it looks like “fuck you” to me. I have not been able just yet to find the source of the gif, as context would be key here.

This is more of a "thank you":

Louis catches Niall's attention and signs along with “pour me a drink” and then something else, to which Niall signs.. well.. also... something. Context clues are Harry just kinda passive aggressively unnecessarily [going] “I’ve loved you since I was 16, LONDON”, to which Louis [gets] all awkward, so do with that what you will.

Harry [...] saying he wants to learn sign language before the Up All Night tour x

And again x

And [Harry is] still at it, in March 2020:

“Now is the perfect time to learn a new skill and try a new hobby or something, right? We have nothing but time. I was learning Italian and doing some sign language classes.” - x

And now for the big one:

Thumbs up bitches

Generally accepted as meaning “sweetheart”, they did a whole lot of thumbs upping to each other. If this is meant to be “sweetheart / honey / baby” in sign language, it sure was their own spin on it. Although, personally, I’m afraid some, if not most of it was a little less romantic and a little bit more dirty in nature. 

continued in Part 2!

It’s a sign language of the times

Or: absolute king shit.

EDIT JULY 9TH 2021: FRESHLY EDITED BECAUSE SOMEONE JUST DID A SIGN LANGUAGE VIDEO AND I’M NOT OK

This post serves as a collection of Louis, Harry, or both using sign language. Unfortunately I don’t know sign language myself, and I don’t know if they (attempted to) use ASL or BSL, but I’ll do my best. Reading comments of those who do it’s clear that some of these signs are not recognized, so either they modified/made up a version only they would understand or we’re just reading into things as we do. If you know sign language and happen to find this post please don’t hesitate to correct me! 

Let’s start off megastrong and show that both of them actually know sign language these days.

Here Louis says “let’s do a few photos” so logically that’s probably what he signs as well.

~I have no idea what Harry says here~

Keep reading

[kamassa-river]

I played the new telegram missions not really expecting much given that the last batch we got was an utter mess i played once and never looked at again but man they are so fucking bad lmao.

First off they all just have you walking in a circle for a painfully long time (espescially the hunting one). It's either "get on your horse and ride over here, get off your horse and beat up some people" or "follow this npc over here, beat up some people", rinse and repeat X amount of times. Now, you could argue that most rdo missions were already like this, just more well hidden, and you'd be right, but normally there's a layer of ...idk what the right word is. Immersion? There's enough thought put into distracting you from the fact that all you're really doing is going from point A to point B and then shooting a couple of enemies that it, well, works. Simply put. But when it's done in utter silence, interrupted only by some chopped up voicelines already in the game, it doesnt. At all.

Second, (and this goes for most of the telegram missions) you dont get to choose the difficulty, there is absolutely no indication that your aim assist will be completely turned off even on standard difficulty, aka your first attempt, and you dont get to choose if you wanna play solo or matchmake, so you either a) end up with randoms who rush through the mission or b) play alone against a now ridiculous amount of poorly programmed enemies. It's the same thing as the pvp modes being on a fucking schedule and stranger missions paying more the longer you take - backwards in the most annoying ways possible.

This on top of Rockstar removing posse and horse names in an "update" (only you can see you horse name now, other players just see the breed) and the game still getting glitchier each time i log on.. it's just insulting honestly.

And let's talk about the actual missions. Look at this.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN??

This is from the "protect the do-gooder" or whatever it was called (it's really that memorable) and like?? I was genuinely so confused as to what just happened when i played this but apparently she's getting kidnapped. Mind you, we're not forced to go down here - the driver takes her here for some reason (i guess she's meant to be helping the poor?? that's my best guess as she was giving money to beggars earlier but we also went to the saloon and then got her mail for her so idk man) and she gets out and walks out on the dock by her own volition. We then go and save her in thieves landing but dont actually take her to where she was originally going. It just ends there. But i think most people just want this shit to be over at that point so it's probably for the best.

It's crazy to me that this exists alongside rdr2's story mode. Sure, rdo has never been and never will be at that same level of storytelling but compare this to Land of Opportunities or Life of 'Shine. Those still had some heart. There was at least some thought and care put into them. Even the first few telegrams we got had potential. I remember really enjoying the one where you're in Saint Denis trying to find your target and the only clue you get is that he wears a tophat and striped vest. It was creative if nothing else. This is just "There's guys for you to shoot, what more do you want? Oh, why is there no dialouge? Oh- Yeah, um, so the budget for this was actually nothing. Yeah. It was actually an exercise for our new intern. Was it his first day? Yes. Yes it was. And we obviously didnt record any new voicelines for this so, uh, you kinda just have to imagine there's a plot for this one. I think it's kinda charming that it's like charades and you have to guess what's going on. Or- Oh! A silent film! We did add the Halloween pass 2 back for the fourth year in a row, though. That's exciting, right?"

[sadaveniren]

Hey can I get your opinion on bg? I like that you're an old-timer (fandom wise lol) and your views are interesting to read. Anyway Louis has made it clear time and time again that he is very aware of what goes on in fandom and what people's thoughts are. He must know that a majority of his fanbase is put off by all the freddie talk. Add to that the fact that it's really not doing anything for him promo wise. So even if he can't end it yet for whatever reason, why do you think there's been this big ramp up and an insistence of talking about him in interviews? When he could have just kept quiet like he did for years?

Lol what I would give to fucking know the answers to these questions.

So as an old timer (like… I was literally online when the OG BG article dropped. I saw that “9 weeks along” written out in the article with my own eyes before they changed it within the first 30 or so minutes of BG) I want to emphasize that nothing else matters because Briana was never pregnant. Everything since the very first pic of them together (“this is for the Sun”) has been fake. Nothing else matters whenever you go back and hit that inevitable point of “Briana was never pregnant”.

But back to your question. Why? Hilariously it almost feels like Louis sorta gave an answer to this today when he talked about the radio stations he goes to that don’t play his music. Sometimes he does shit he doesn’t benefit from, and maybe doesn’t like, to get to do what he wants. I can’t even begin to imagine how complicated Louis’ life is and everything he has to balance. Maybe mentioning the kid was a trade off for being “single” and losing having to talk about Eleanor or get a new public girlfriend. Maybe if he’s seen with the kid he gets to talk about OTB being an LGBT anthem. Maybe he gets to pursue an edgier sound, or add something to the album, or a dozen other little things he might want in exchange for something that at the end of the day he doesn’t think is that big of a deal.

I’ll be completely honest, up until today’s interview the mentions of Freddie hadn’t even registered to me. Louis’ promo was going so swell. As someone who was here for 2016 and 5:20pm Tuesday pap walk pics and 2017 with the whole “his girlfriend, his son” non-stop, I can tell you. This is so different. It’s nothing. What happened today was definitely a change from how it had been going but tbh I think Louis wanted to give as open and honest an interview as possible so I think he might have just been like “don’t ask me about Harry Styles and everything else is fair game” not knowing what Zach was going to run with 🤷🏼‍♀️

I have no clue if this is going to end up going anywhere. It would be excellent if BG could just fucking end already. But if this is the new status quo, as long as Louis looks happy and he’s enjoying his music, I’m gonna trust that he knows what he’s doing with his life.

[missmagooglie]

So I've been thinking a lot about Buck's relationship to his sexuality. It's obviously a lot different than Eddie "Repression King" Diaz, but I really don't think it's any less complicated. The thing is that Buck doesn't have the same baggage as Eddie about being queer, but Buck is also has a history of adding two plus two and getting "Why are you asking me? I can't do math".

And while there's the possibility of Buck already knowing he's queer and (a) everyone already knows, it just hasn't been revealed to the audience yet, or (b) he isn't out to anyone in LA because it "hasn't been relevant" and/or he didn't want to come off like he was trying to claim "diversity points", I think it's much more likely that Buck has just coasted on Factory Default settings and has never self identified as anything but straight.

And here's why I think that: Buck's romantic history is basically a journey of him taking the path of least resistance toward whatever scraps of attention he can find. He spends much more mental energy considering who he is *attractive* to than he does thinking about who he's *attracted* to.

We have seen him taking Thirst Trap photos, and discussing his body in terms of attractiveness but the only time I can remember him speaking to someone else's appearance was when he was implying that he was better looking than Bobby and Chim re: the calendar contest (and that was way more about Buck's attractiveness than theirs). He's notably the ONLY person who has nothing to say about Eddie's appearance when he's introduced.

I feel like his first forays into romantic relationships, he was subconsciously looking for someone who would care about him the way Maddie did before she left. What he ended up finding was that his looks and his surface level confidant bluster got him laid, and that girls fawning over him before/during sex gave him the same quick hit of temporary affection he got from hurting himself for his parent's attention. It isn't everything he wants or needs, but it IS very easy for him to get. And the short lived nature of that affection might be disappointing, but it's also familiar.

He doesn't even think about changing how he goes after romantic affection until it gets him fired. He has to almost lose everything he's built for himself before he's able to even question whether he's going about finding love in the wrong way.

And when he finally decides that he's going to stop fucking around and try to have relationships instead of hookups? Look no further than Bobby's brutally accurate takedown "You find yourself in relationships with no idea how you got there and no idea what to do when something goes wrong".

The thing is, Buck has never really pursued anyone. Abby is obviously the one who pursued Buck, calling him in the first place and continuing to show interest when he hit the breaks. He called Ali and asked her out, but based on context clues it looks like he had her number for a while and sat on it until he decided he wanted to date somebody and called the person who had already signaled that she was open to a relationship with him. Taylor was a little more complicated re: who was pursuing who, but she was unequivocally the most convenient romantic option for Buck at the time, and he seemed pretty content to accept her rebuff and stay friends before she changed her mind. And ultimately, she's the one who kissed him first, and she's the one who came back when he didn't give chase.

What this adds up to is Buck never having to work at *starting* a relationship (maintaining a relationship is a whole different thing, and he puts plenty of effort into that). He's never really had to win over the object of his affection and because of that he's never had to think too hard about who he wants to put the time and effort into winning over. Basically, when he picks a partner he's completely focused on "does she like me" and if the answer is yes he just rolls with it. He hardly bothers to ask "do I like her" and definitely never wonders "is there someone else I might like more".

And the thing is, Buck's presumption of his own heterosexuality doesn't even preclude the possibility of him having had sexual experiences with men. Buck is a flexible thinker, so it's going to take a lot for him to challenge the overwhelming social expectation that he is a straight dude. He's gonna have a very Katy Perry circa 2008 attitude about messing around with other dudes, ie believing that experimenting with guys doesn't mean he's queer. He's just "comfortable in his sexuality".

So if we are lucky enough to get an Eddie's Queer Awakening plotline (Will it happen? Who knows. Am I gonna act like it's happening because it brings me joy to think about? Absolutely) we will have Buck being suddenly confronted with all his heteronormative assumptions about the man he's been platonically (?) building a life with for the past few years, and that's gonna potentially raise some questions about Buck's assumptions about himself. Particularly when he and Eddie have a "so how'd you figure that out?" heart to heart and a lot of it is sounding more familiar than Buck expects it to.

I, listen; I hate infidelity plotlines. But there is something about Buck's history of choosing a relationship first, and then the person he's in that relationship with that makes me want Buck to, like, at least be tempted. I would LOVE for him to figure out that he's in love with Eddie not just before the B/T breakup, but while that relationship is going *well*. Because that would give Buck the opportunity to chose the person he wants to be with... even at the expense of the relationship he already has.

And I just... I really want Buck to chose what he wants in a relationship instead of just accepting what he's given.

[keanureevesisbae]

You're on a roadtrip and in the middle of nowhere, your car breaks down. Obviously your phone died too - what happens next?

This, is very interesting and my horny brain figured out what would happen next 👀👀

Walter Marshall x fem!reader

Wordcount: 1.5k (yes, a lot happens)

Warnings: Fingering, squirting, unprotected sex 👀

‘Piece of shit,’ you mutter under your breath. You cannot believe this happened again and to make matters even worse, you're in the middle of fucking nowhere. Last time your car decided to break down, at least it happened downtown, meaning there were around five men who saw you hopelessly staring at your car, not knowing what to do and offered their help.

Now, you’re by yourself.

You grab your phone from the passengers seat, only to discover the most horrible thing that could ever happen to you.

Your battery died.

It’s probably around thirty minutes until you reach some sort of civilization and it’s getting darker and darker.

Oh no, is this how people get murdered?

Great, now you’re not only by yourself, but you also scared yourself by envisioning horrible scenario's. You pop the hood of the car, only to realize that everything looks the exact same and you have no idea where to start. Why do the problems have to be so complicated? If it were a flat tire, you probably would’ve managed to fix it, but this is on a whole new level of complex.

A car stops behind yours and your heart stops for a few seconds. Please don’t be a serial killer, please don’t be creepy in general. You peek around your car, only to see the very familiar truck. You’ve seen that car around in town, including the owner of it.

You watch him step out of the vehicle. His shoulders are broad, his strut is confident and his brows are furrowed, but that is nothing new. When he sees it’s you, one corner of his mouth curls up. ‘Sweetheart,’ he says and you can’t help but slightly giggle when hearing that nickname.

Detective Walter Marshall is a very well loved customer at the cafe you work at, mostly because he comes by every day and has become a reliable income. He always orders one cappuccino to go and sometimes he goes a little crazy and orders a cookie with it as well. He rarely smiles, but recently you noticed that whenever you took his orders, you not only earned yourself a very lovely 'Sweetheart', but also a small smile. Sometimes, he would even go as far to asking you what your plans were for after work and when you answered with whatever the plans were, he would simply nod and tell you to not have too much fun without him.

It was cheeky and slightly flirty, but it was always within the four walls of the cafe and nothing happened. You wished though. Walter Marshall was a very desired bachelor in town.

‘Hi detective,’ you say with a smile.

‘Car trouble?’

You nod. ‘Yes, it’s just that my car gives up from time to time.’

‘I see, I see.’ He rolls up his sleeves and stands next to you, examining everything. He starts to say something about some sort of liquid/fuel-thingy, but you have no idea what he means. Not only are you distracted because it’s too complicated, but also because of his outstanding beauty. No man in town tips to him.

Of course you fantasized about him, just like everyone else. There was quite the age gap between you, a rough fifteen years, but that never stopped you from having the most disgusting, NSFW dreams about him.

‘What?’ you ask him, when he looks at you, obviously waiting for an answer.

‘You weren’t listening,’ he chuckles. ‘That’s okay. What I said was that it’s too late to call for a tow truck and that I can’t fix it right away. We can leave your car here and I can drive you to your place if you want.'

'But what if it gets stolen?'

'How?' he asks. 'The car doesn't work, right?'

You shake your head. 'Maybe it's for the best. It's a stupid car anyway. The only reason I have it, because I got it for free.'

'Maybe that should've been a red flag. Free cars are rarely reliable.'

You scoff. Dammit, you hate it when other people are right. 'You sure you want to give me a lift?'

Walter scoffs. ‘I’m not gonna leave you in the middle of nowhere by yourself.’ He closes the hood of my car and adds to it: ‘Besides, I don’t want anything to happen to my favorite barista. You’re the only one who hasn’t messed with my cappuccino.’

You shouldn’t giggle or feel nervous, yet you do both.

‘Come on, go grab your stuff and we’ll go.’

You walk over to the driver’s side and lean over the seats to grab both the key from the ignition and your bag. Then you realize that you are wearing a pretty short skirt and your underwear is a bit on the flimsier side. You hear an approving hum from behind you. Part of you wants to die of shame, the other part however makes sure things heat up in between your thighs.

When you get out of the car and close the door, Walter has his arms crossed in front of his chest. ‘One condition, sweetheart,’ he says, taking the bag from your hand.

You frown. ‘For what?’

‘For me to give you a lift back home.’ He holds out one of his hands and says: ‘That piece of fabric you call your underwear, please.’

You blink your eyes once, twice and the universe how many times after that, mostly because you cannot believe those words—those dirty words—left his lips. His expression barely changed. It’s the emotionless look you are so used of seeing, but the words that take you by surprise.

You have had many dirty daydreams, but handing over your underwear in the middle of nowhere wasn’t one. You hook your thumbs behind the waistband of your panties and push it down your legs. When you step out of them, you hand them to Walter, who nods in approval.

The two of you walk towards the passenger’s side of his truck, when he grabs you by your hip and turns you around. With your back pressed against the door, he lets his hand slide underneath your skirt between your thighs. Your lips slightly parted, as his rough fingers knead the soft flesh of your thighs. ‘Do you have any idea how much I’ve been wanting this?’ he asks you. ‘It’s always those pretty smiles,’ he continues, ‘the way you lean over the counter in those tops with a deep neckline and how you bite your lip when you’re focused. Have you got a clue of what that does to me?’

‘No detective, I don’t,’ you whimper.

Walter smiles at your desperation, as you’re already grinding against his fingers. Fuck, he knew deep down what you could be, but this he didn’t expect. He dips in one finger, but when he discovers how wet you are, how ready you are for him, he pushes in another.

Your pleasured moan fills the emptiness around you. You’re a loud one too, Walter thinks to himself. You sure are the jackpot. His fingers brush against all the right spots. He watches your eyes rolling back, your breathing become ragged and your thighs and walls clenching together. ‘Beg for it,’ he says.

Instantly, you obey. ‘Detective, please, please, can I cum?’

There is no way you are truly real.

He barely has the change to answer, when you tumble over the edge. When you have to hold onto him since you can’t trust your own legs. When you squirt passed his fingers down your legs. The sobs and strained moans that leave your lips, make him grin in satisfaction. He roughly slams his lips against yours and within a second you melt against him.

He pulls out his fingers and without letting go of your lips for one millisecond, he opens the door of his truck. ‘They always say you are such a lovely young lady. So innocent and sweet,’ he says to you. ‘But you’ve got a dirty streak.’

You bite your lip and let out a sweet giggle when he turns you around, bending you over the passengers seat of the truck, your toes barely finding the ground. As Walter uses one hand to knead the soft flesh of your ample behind, the other unzips his pants and pulls out his cock. After pumping it a few times, he lines himself up at your throbbing cunt, before pushing himself in entirely.

The sounds that leave your lips, make him go feral. Part of him wants to take the time, worship your body and look you in the eye as you fall apart in his arms. But that part doesn’t have the upper hand now. The part that wants to destroy you, rail you, fill you is completely taking over.

There is no stopping now. Skin slapping against skin. His groans mixed with your cries of pleasure. He can feel it, your warm walls that feel so good around him, start to squeeze his hard member. ‘Detective, I’m close again,’ you wail.

‘Let it go, sweetheart,’ he tells you and on cue you start to shudder, your orgasm washing over you and that’s enough for him to reach his limits. He holds your hips tightly, probably imprinting you with some bruises, as he paints you from the inside.

He gives himself a few seconds to regain himself, before he pulls out and watches it all drip down your legs. You’re limb, barely able to stand on your legs. Your skirt is still bundled up near your waist, revealing your beautiful round bottom.

He grabs you by your arm and pulls you against his body, pressing his lips on yours. ‘You’re gonna make a mess on my seat,’ he says.

‘You’re fault,’ you mumble against his lips, only for you to earn a sharp slap on your behind. ‘Sorry, detective,’ you whisper. ‘How— Where do I sit then?’

He smiles. ‘Right on my cock as I drive you to my place, because we’re not done yet.’

✨ Okay, I'll see myself out now ✨

[bloody-bee-tea]

Worry

Jiang Cheng sighs and leans closer to Nie Mingjue when Wei Wuxian goes off on one of his tangents again.

It’s good to see his brother again—he has been rather busy now that he and Lan Wangji adopted A-Yuan—but this is one of the things Jiang Cheng didn’t miss.

He can already feel his headache forming.

“Relax,” Nie Mingjue whispers and rubs his thumb over the fleshy part between Jiang Cheng’s thumb and index finger. Jiang Cheng isn’t sure if it’s really doing anything for him, but the steady motion and the knowledge that Nie Mingjue is right there next to him do wonders to relax him.

Jiang Cheng mostly tunes Wei Wuxian and his babbling out, but he pays a bit more attention when Wei Wuxian leans over the table.

“What are we going to do?” Wei Wuxian asks and Jiang Cheng frowns because he has no clue what Wei Wuxian is talking about.

“About what?” he asks, relishing the look of surprise on Wei Wuxian’s face.

“You didn’t even listen!”

Nie Mingjue chuckles softly at Jiang Cheng’s side and it causes Jiang Cheng to smile.

“No, I didn’t. I almost never do,” he says, mostly just to rile Wei Wuxian up and it works beautifully.

“You!” It seems like Wei Wuxian is having trouble finding his words and Jiang Cheng takes the opportunity to turn his head and press a kiss to Nie Mingjue’s cheek, just because he can.

“I was talking about family dinner! What are we going to do about family dinner?”

Jiang Cheng is still missing crucial information here, mostly about why this family dinner would need any special actions, but he decides he simply doesn’t care.

“I’m bringing Mingjue. No matter what has you this worried, I guess it’s going to be overshadowed by that,” Jiang Cheng easily tells him and Nie Mingjue sighs.

They have talked about this already and Nie Mingjue agreed to come to dinner this time, even though he wasn’t happy about it.

Jiang Cheng isn’t happy about it either, if he’s being honest, but Nie Mingjue has to meet his parents at least once and Jiang Cheng prefers if he can decide when and where. At least family dinner has a set end time, so it will be over before either of them even knows it.

“You what?” Wei Wuxian shrieks. “You want to bring your sugar daddy to family dinner? Are you insane?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Jiang Cheng hisses back, because how dare Wei Wuxian call Nie Mingjue his sugar daddy. If anyone is behaving like a sugar baby, then it’s Wei Wuxian. And he’s not afraid to say so.

“If anyone is behaving like a kept man, it’s you, with how much your boyfriend is spoiling you,” Jiang Cheng grumbles, which only adds to Wei Wuxian’s outrage.

“Fiancé!” he almost yells and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes and nudges his shoulder against Nie Mingjue’s.

“Can you believe this guy?” he fake whispers over to him. “He didn’t know he was in love with him for thirteen years and now he gets all offended.”

Nie Mingjue makes a little noise in response and it’s enough to make Jiang Cheng frown.

“You okay?” he asks, concerned at Nie Mingjue’s reaction.

“Sure. It’s my turn to pay, right?” Nie Mingjue asks, reaching for his wallet and Jiang Cheng’s frown deepens.

“I can pay, too, no problem,” he gives back, but before he can get his own wallet Nie Mingjue has his already on the table.

“See, I tell you,” Wei Wuxian says as he leans over the table. “Sugar daddy.”

“We have a standing agreement to switch,” Jiang Cheng says and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I am pulling my own weight in this unlike other people,” he says with a meaningful look at Wei Wuxian.

“But I’m poor,” Wei Wuxian wails.

“And your fiancé is paying for you,” Jiang Cheng says. “Tell me again how that is not a sugar daddy?”

“Well at least we have the sex to make it work, too,” Wei Wuxian says, suddenly completely unconcerned and Jiang Cheng has had enough.

“Mingjue, you ready to leave?” he wants to know, getting up and dragging Nie Mingjue up behind him without really waiting for his answer.

Jiang Cheng is not even sure if Nie Mingjue paid yet, but for all that he cares, Wei Wuxian can take this bill. Would serve him right, too.

“Hey, you alright?” Jiang Cheng asks Nie Mingjue again when they are outside of the coffee shop and Nie Mingjue is still uncharacteristically quiet.

“Sure,” he easily gives back, but Jiang Cheng spots some tension in the lines around his eyes and in the way he holds his shoulders and it worries him.

“You sure?”

“Let’s just go home,” Nie Mingjue sighs and Jiang Cheng thinks that it’s maybe just a Wei Wuxian induced headache.

Those are usually unavoidable and Jiang Cheng would completely understand if Nie Mingjue succumbed to one as well today. Wei Wuxian was especially grating this meeting, and his flippant comment about their relationship was just the tip of the iceberg really.

“Okay,” Jiang Cheng agrees and decides to do something nice for Nie Mingjue once they are home, like a massage or something.

Nie Mingjue deserves it, but especially today. It can’t have helped that he had to go in to work before this meeting even though it’s supposed to be their week off.

The ride home is quiet which worries Jiang Cheng if he’s being honest, because Nie Mingjue is a chatty driver. At the very least he sings along to the songs on the radio and he’s not even doing that, so either his headache is really bad or he must be pretty upset over something.

“I love you,” Jiang Cheng says and reaches for Nie Mingjue’s hand.

He doesn’t want to ask again if everything is alright—clearly Nie Mingjue doesn’t want to talk about it right now—and he figures this is the next best thing he can do.

“Love you, too,” Nie Mingjue mumbles but even that sounds lacklustre and a tiny spark of worry settles in Jiang Cheng’s gut.

He doesn’t bring it up again, though, because he figures the car is not the best place to get a man as stubborn as Nie Mingjue to talk, and so he keeps quiet until they are in their apartment.

“Okay, my soul, I love you, and usually I respect your need for silence but something is wrong and I need you to tell me, please,” he says as soon as Nie Mingjue has his shoes off and Jiang Cheng closes the door behind them.

“Nothing is wrong,” Nie Mingjue mutters, but he’s not meeting Jiang Cheng’s eyes and if that wouldn’t be a dead giveaway that something is so very wrong, then the way he keeps his shoulders up would be.

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Jiang Cheng gives back, and marches off into the living-room.

“Is it because of Wei Wuxian? Or because of dinner with my parents?”

“It’s not—” Nie Mingjue starts and then trails off so Jiang Cheng must have gotten decently close with his guess.

“You don’t have to meet my parents if you don’t want to, you know that, right? Just say the word and we’ll cancel. It’ll be a disaster anyway and I am in no rush to do that,” Jiang Cheng says with a shrug, because he couldn’t care less if his parents get to know Nie Mingjue.

The people Jiang Cheng cares about and who care about him already met Nie Mingjue and that’s all that matters.

Jin Ling loves Nie Mingjue and what else could Jiang Cheng wish for, really.

“You would just cancel,” Nie Mingjue says but his voice sounds off.

“If you want to, yes,” Jiang Cheng says but he narrows his eyes at Nie Mingjue. “Is it the dinner that is upsetting you?”

“I’m not upset,” Nie Mingjue snaps and it’s so obviously not true that Jiang Cheng huffs out a laugh.

“Please, my soul, you’re so upset. Just tell me why, so I can fix it. If it was Wei Wuxian, I’m gonna fight him for you, promise.”

Nie Mingjue works his jaw a few times, and Jiang Cheng knows it to be a sign that Nie Mingjue is fighting with himself and whether to say something or not so he keeps quiet and let’s Nie Mingjue work it out for himself.

“Wei Wuxian—what he said—it’s not true, right?” Nie Mingjue eventually asks and his voice sounds small in a way that it hasn’t in a long time and Jiang Cheng immediately gets up and hugs him.

“What’s not true?” Jiang Cheng asks, once he has Nie Mingjue in his arms and he can still feel the underlying tension in Nie Mingjue, so he presses a kiss to his throat for good measure, too.

“The thing about—that we’re—that I’m your sugar daddy,” Nie Mingjue gets out with much difficulty and Jiang Cheng freezes, which of course is the exact wrong thing to do, because Nie Mingjue pushes his arms off and steps out of range.

“It’s just—he is kind of right. You’re not poor, by no means, but since you decided to stand on your own feet money has been a bit tight for you and when we go out to eat, it’s usually me that pays. You moved into my apartment and I know you offered to pay rent and I refused but—”

“But know that he said it, you’re doubting,” Jiang Cheng finishes and brushes his hand over his face. “Fuck, Wei Wuxian,” he mutters.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t even know which of Nie Mingjue’s points he wants to argue first and so it takes him too long to answer.

“I didn’t think he was right,” Nie Mingjue dejectedly says and Jiang Cheng vehemently shakes his head.

“I love you!” is the first thing he says, because he thinks that’s the most important, but Nie Mingjue shrugs.

“And for what? My money? It’s not like there’s much else going on for me, with how brutish and angry I am. I know I’m a workaholic and Huaisang will always come first for me, so what is there really for you to like?”

“That’s some absolute bullshit,” Jiang Cheng spits out and steps close to Nie Mingjue to take his hand into his. “You are amazing and gentle and compassionate. Hell, if push comes to shove, I’d put A-Ling first, too, and it’s just one of the things I love about you. We’re family people. You’re a workaholic, yes, but you love what you do and your employees love you in return, so how mad about it can I really be? And you’re not brutish and angry. You’re one of the biggest softies I have ever known! Hell, just yesterday you cried when we saw a baby bunny in the park, how is that not the most adorable thing ever?” Jiang Cheng says and ducks his head far enough to catch Nie Mingjue’s eyes.

“Stop it,” he mutters, clearly embarrassed and Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“No. Not until you believe me. You are not my sugar daddy, that’s not the kind of relationship we have. We have a committed, romantic relationship, okay?” Jiang Cheng says and he geos warm just thinking about how much he loves this man, no matter how stupid he’s being at the moment.

“But the money—” Nie Mingjue says and Jiang Cheng stops him with a squeeze of his hands.

“If it really bothers you this much you should have said. I can pay rent. We can divide the costs for groceries and eating out, if it makes you happy. I know I’m no longer quite as loaded as you are, but I can pay for my own stuff. You just have to say so.”

“I don’t want you to pay for your own stuff,” Nie Mingjue says with a sigh. “I like taking care of you.”

“Okay. Then let’s just figure out where the line is for you and we’ll work around that, okay?”

“The line is your brother speaking without thinking,” Nie Mingjue grumbles which makes Jiang Cheng laugh.

“Yeah, he’s quite the idiot,” Jiang Cheng easily agrees, though he does have to admit that he breathes easier, now that Nie Mingjue seems more relaxed again.

He hates it when his soul gets all lost in his head, and while it’s been happening less and less recently, it’s still far too often for Jiang Cheng’s taste.

“Seriously, if anyone has that kind of relationship, it’s them,” Jiang Cheng goes on and steps closer to Nie Mingjue again, so that he can hug him again. “Have you seen Wei Wuxian with a wallet in the past year?”

“But they are getting married,” Nie Mingjue whispers. “That’s different.”

Jiang Cheng is silent for a moment, his ear over Nie Mingjue’s heart, just listening to its steady beating for a short time and then he pulls back enough to look at Nie Mingjue.

“I would marry you, too,” he then says and tries not to think about the vague plans he already had about a ring.

Nie Mingjue goes stiff with surprise.

“You would?”

“Of course. I love you. I don’t just say that, you know. I do. I love you so much, and I want this; you and our life. We can marry.”

“That’s not a very romantic proposal,” Nie Mingjue says, but Jiang Cheng spots the tears in his eyes and he knows that this means a lot to Nie Mingjue.

“Well, it’s not like I was planning on proposing today. I don’t even have rings yet,” Jiang Cheng mutters and then the breath is knocked out of him when Nie Mingjue crushes him to his chest.

“Yet?” he asks, clearly hopeful and Jiang Cheng squeezes him back just as hard.

“Yet,” he confirms. “It’s not like I have concrete plans yet, I just wanted to look. But I do want that, eventually, with you. And if you’re still worried, we’ll make it sooner rather than later, no worries.”

Nie Mingjue presses a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s hair and Jiang Cheng knows him well enough to know that he’s crying. It’s one of the things he loves so much about him. Nie Mingjue emotes so hard and so often and he always genuinely means it, too. It’s absolutely endearing.

“One worry,” Nie Mingjue says after a few minutes, and he sounds composed enough. “I am not meeting your parents for the first time and tell them we got engaged.”

It startles a laugh out of Jiang Cheng and he pulls away so he can double over more freely.

“I can see why you’d be worried about that,” he agrees when he gets himself back under control. “So the proposal will have to wait until after dinner.” Jiang Cheng grins up at Nie Mingjue, who seems better now.

Less tense and more happy.

“Alright,” he agrees, a soft smile on his face.

“Come here now,” Jiang Cheng says, deciding that after this they deserve a good cuddle on the couch.

He pushes Nie Mingjue down, before he snuggles up to him, their legs tangled together and Jiang Cheng’s ear over Nie Mingjue’s heart again.

“But seriously, if the rent or money thing worries you, just say so,” Jiang Cheng says, almost as an afterthought, because he doesn’t want Nie Mingjue to worry.

He can damn well pay for himself, it’s not a problem at all, and if Jiang Cheng is being honest he didn’t even notice the pattern they fell into. Maybe it is time to change things up a little.

“No, it’s not a worry,” Nie Mingjue denies. “It’s just—”

“Wei Wuxian got into your head a little bit,” Jiang Cheng finishes for him, because he knows the feeling.

Wei Wuxian never thinks twice before he says anything, but his words have a tendency to hit where it hurts the most and where people are most vulnerable. He doesn’t mean it, and Jiang Cheng doubts he even knows he’s doing it, but it’s a problem.

“Yes,” Nie Mingjue sighs and slides his hand into Jiang Chen’s hair. “He did.”

“Stupid Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and turns just far enough to be able to press a kiss to Nie Mingjue’s chest. “We don’t have that kind of relationship, there’s nothing to worry about,” he says again, just to make sure that Nie Mingjue understands.

“Alright,” he easily enough agrees and Jiang Cheng even believes that he does.

“Talk to me if you get worried about that again. About anything, really,” Jiang Cheng slurs, sleep suddenly tugging at him and it doesn’t help that Nie Mingjue’s heartbeat is a steady rhythm in his ear.

“I will, my heart,” Nie Mingjue whispers and the last thing Jiang Cheng knows is that he presses a kiss to the top of his head.

Tomorrow, he’ll invite Nie Mingjue to dinner, just to drive the point home, Jiang Cheng decides and then falls asleep with a content smile on his lips.

Link to my ko-fi on the sidebar!

[chaniters]

Running out of lies

Found by Anathema, Cyrus has to face reality again, and it hurts. -----------------

“Leave me alone!” The words are hushed coming out of your mouth as you try to repack all of your supplies.

“Not until I get some answers”

“You’re drawing attention” you protest because there already are some looks turning your way. 

“Then calm down if that’s what bothers you. Also, let me carry that,” They say, taking hold of the easel you rescued from the garbage. 

“I don’t need help” 

“You’re limping, I have eyes”

You choose silence because you’re not in the mood to explain how you got grazed by a bullet on a sewer, saying nothing more as they walk with you for the next blocks heading towards the bus stop that is your only escape route. 

They don’t share in the silence.

“Out with it. What happened?” 

“There we go again.”

“I’m not gonna stop”

“Told you, I don’t want to talk about it” you reply almost immediately.  -------------

“Dr. Elderidge got her PharmaCore research back in an envelope under her door the day you banished. That’s the only clue I had that you were alive and I couldn’t tell the others. Do you realize they’re still looking for you? How worried they are?”

“Well, now you found me so they can stop. Besides, there’s no reason to be worried, not like I’m part of the team anyways. I’m just a nobody.”

“You’re not some nobody! What the fuck man?”

“I don’t need your help, or your concern, or whatever you’re trying to do! I’m gonna be an artist now, don’t you see??!” you make a point to tap the easel he’s carrying. “I just sell the shit I do and buy stuff with it. Like everyone else does” 

That gives them some pause. Enough for you to snatch the easel from them and start walking away. Not that it stops them from following after the initial shock.

“You’re going to quit?! Why?” 

“None of your business. The only reason I haven’t returned the suit is that I’m trying to wash it myself. Once I get the sewer stench from it, I’ll return i’ll mail it to your HQ” 

“What happened down there?”

“Nothing happened.”

“Would it kill you to just talk to me? You’re not making sense, you did everything you could to be a hero and now you’re throwing it all away? There has to be a reason… and what’s up with that scarf? It’s a million degrees out here!”

“Leave the scarf alon-...”

But their hands are already grabbing for it. 

It’s not like the move’s not telegraphed in your mind, but you have your hands full and you’re not fast enough to avoid them as they snatch it off your neck. 

“This thing is … Fuck! Cyrus what happened?!” 

“Please put that back on?” you beg. “I didn’t want anyone to see.” 

They just stand there holding the scarf, staring at them—clear-as-day bruises and marks on your throat, where Husk tried to strangle you. Thankfully then the scarf goes back on, gently, their hands treating you as if you were suddenly made of glass. 

“Thank you.” 

They give you an evaluating look, their mind quickly putting together the pieces of the puzzle. You avoid the prying eyes and take off, but again you are followed.

“The fuck… Are you ok?” 

“Course I am. It’s nothing.” You try to dismiss the marks they saw, but their mind clenches around them, far too tight for the kind of telepathy you’re capable of in this state. 

Shit.  

“What did Husk do to you?…” you can feel the anger mounting on them, directed at whoever did this to you. 

“I don’t want to talk about that!” you yell, far louder than you intended.

“... then why are you tearing up?” 

SHITSHITSHIT

“I’m not! Stop asking questions! You’re seeing things. I’m fine.  Never been better! Now go away!” 

You add suggestions to your words, but your current telepathy would fail the most basic examinations back at the farm. Sloppy, emotional, obvious lies won’t cut it against someone so determined.

They sigh in frustration, following you, trying to understand. Not something you can help them with. Tears? Since when are you so fucking weak? 

You’re not supposed to cry, least of all with other people around.

“Stop running!”

“I’m not running!” You lie. 

What else can you do? 

Husk just wanted to kill you. They never meant to shatter your vision of the world. No, you’re the one who did it all by yourself, getting into their mind uninvited. 

How do you explain that now you know things you wish you didn’t and nothing makes sense? Like how you still feel serving the goals of the Special Directive is the “right” thing to do, but you can’t deny knowing how vile it truly is? 

Husk opened your eyes to the horrors humans are capable of and there is no closing that door now.    

“Does the painting gig help?” Themmie asks understanding too much without even knowing you.  

“Why do you care?” you ask bitterly because it’s too true.

“Because you almost die trying to help me and Ferra, you idiot!” they say, hand on your shoulder, looking into your eyes. “It’s my fault. I know what Husk does to people!”  Again you look away, unable to hold their gaze, just as you don’t understand the emotions inside their mind right now. 

Guilt? Remorse? 

Humans are too darn complicated, and you don’t know why but Themmie feeling bad because of your last telepathic screwup with Husk just feels wrong. 

“Hey, I’m telling you…It’s nothing. I mean… I get the files or not? That’s all that matters. I swear I’m fine. I mean.. I’ll be fine.” you try to reassure them. 

And again you fail. The gesture makes them feel even worse. 

You’re the one hurt, they should be the ones trying to make you feel better, not the other way around. That’s how Themmie sees it at least. 

It’s painful… how they think this is all their fault. Blaming it all on himself just as…

Just as you do. 

 “Sides, I swear I’m going to hunt that Husk down, and when I find them…”

“No! Husk’s not going to bother anyone else ever again!” you spit out, wishing you had bit your tongue immediately afterward. 

“What?”

Shit. You hate being this weak. 

Themmie’s concern is wearing you down, but would it be so bad to say something?

 “... fine. Alright, Fuck it. I’ll tell you what happened. Some of it at least” 

“Let’s keep walking while we talk. That helps sometimes,” they say, knowing you more than they should once again. 

The traffic light changes and you cross, thinking about how to start. 

Should you lie?

But what kind of lie would that be? You don’t even know which way it should point.

No, no lies. Just the truth, at least what you can give them. 

“It’s simple. I thought I could go and fight Husk alone, and they were getting away while you were busy with the police and Carter”

“We told you how dangerous they are!”

“You think I don’t know that now?!” Your voice grows louder than you wished for.

“Sorry! I shouldn’t interrupt you. Go on please”

“If you let me” you grumble, annoyed. “We fought. They mopped the floor with me and that’s all I’m going to say about it.”

“That’s fine. That’s totally fine. You don’t need to go into details.” 

“You saw some of the details.” you rub the scarf around your throat. “Promise me you won’t tell”

“I promise I won’t.” And it’s not a lie. Not one you can feel. 

“Thanks. Things got uh… less than ideal… and uh… some people showed up.”

“People? What people?”

“Other people. People Husk pissed off” You can’t tell them it’s the special directive because no one is supposed to know that. Looks like once again you’re helping them hide their secrets. “So they were distracted and I took the chance to get the hell out of there”

“And then…?”

“There were gunshots. I lost track of Husk’s mind after that.”

“Dead?”

“They were definitely not firing blanks” you bite your lip. “I started running and I got lost in the tunnels… It was hard to breathe, it was dark, It smelled like shit… and I couldn’t see where I was going, and … and… and…”

And Husk’s memories took too darn long to banish. You can never retain anything, but of all things, this shit got stuck in your brain. Everything they ever told you became a lie, and you wanted to forget.

The words die and you cover your face. You don’t want Themmie to see you tearing up again 

But they step forward, wrapping their arms around you in one big hug. 

“It’s ok. You’re ok now. It’s over”

You can’t remember ever feeling this weak and useless in your life.  Regenes are not made for this. Definitely malfunctioning.  Not supposed to be crying on someone else’s shoulder.

It can’t be real. It can’t be happening to you. You want to push them away and break free, show them it’s nothing at all. But you can’t fucking stop crying anymore. Mourning the lies you told yourself. That they always knew better. That they had a great plan for all of you. That you had a purpose.

The lies that kept your world glued together, even after you escaped. 

“It’s going to be alright. I’m here for you,” They say. 

How could it be alright, when everything is falling apart?

--------------------- My Fanfiction: https://chaniters.tumblr.com/post/181692759294/my-fanfiction-for-fallen-hero DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fan fiction using characters and the setting of the Fallen Hero: Rebirth and upcoming Fallen Hero: Retribution games written by Malin Riden. I do not claim ownership of any characters from the Fallen Hero world. These stories are a work of my imagination, and I do not ascribe them to the official story canon. These works are intended for entertainment outside the official storyline owned by the author. I am not profiting financially from the creation of these stories, and thank the author for his wonderful game/s, without which these works would not exist.

[imagine-that-100]

Stop It

Description: When bad habits come back, it leaves you with worries and feeling self-aware. But when your boyfriend spots this, he just has to prove you wrong.

Word Count: 2.4k

A/N: This was requested by an Anon. Really hope this was okay, I tried my best with it. Hope everyone else enjoys and I’d love to know what you think! Thank you for reading x

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

As a kid all you heard when it came to you and your little habit was, “Stop it.”

Picking and biting at your lips was something that had haunted you for as long as you could remember. Cracked and broken skin on your lips were almost a constant and it haunted you still even now.

After you’d been ill with the flu or a cold, or something your lips liked to taunt you. Even just after being out in the cold for too long without applying some lip balm.

It was a fucking pain.

And because they used to be in such a bad condition, you just assumed that once the dead skin was off you'd be fine. So picking at them and biting them seemed like it was helping.

Oh how wrong you were.

So that was when you got constant ‘Stop it’s from your parents and when you caught yourself doing it you said a silent ‘stop it’ to yourself.

And the past few days you’d fallen back into that bad habit because you’d just got over a cold. So when you were at work today, stressing out over a client, you caught yourself staring at your laptop with your elbow rested on your desk and your fingers on your lips, picking at a little piece of dry skin you’d found.

Stop it.

Then you caught yourself biting them later when you were trying to actually make the custom design for your client. Another ‘stop it’ filled your mind.

Then again on the phone to another client who was being rude.

Stop it.

And again, when you were driving back home to your boyfriend who’d just flew back in from a series of shows he’d done.

STOP IT!

All you wanted to do was be able to kiss your boyfriend, but no way would he want to go anywhere near you if your lips split. Thankfully the first day or two when Matty was back home your lips held out.

You tried your best to control your habit and with Matty distracting you from work stresses it became a little easier. But when you were at work and he obviously wasn’t around you fell back into old habits.

And after a particularly stressful day at work, you did the worst.

You accidently split your lip.

Never had you not wanted to go home to Matty more. He was affectionate with you in the best of ways and he almost always wanted a kiss and a cuddle when it was just the two of you alone together.

But you didn’t want to kiss him with your lips in the state they were. Despite trying every lip balm, lip scrub, and moisturizer, nothing had helped over the past few days they still fucking split.

You hated it, and you hated that it made you anxious for Matty to see you like that. Thankfully, he’d never seen you like this before but something in you made you think he’d want nothing to do with you.

Maybe it was your old anxiety creeping back in. Or maybe it was just the fear of rejection.

Whatever the reason, it made you want to hide yourself from the person you shouldn’t be hiding yourself from.

“Hey.” You called when you got home, knowing Matty was around somewhere.

“Hey.” Matty calls back from the lounge, “How was work?”

When you walk in and see your boyfriend with his long mop of curls, you smile saying, “Stressful.”

“Bastards being picky again?” Matty grins when his brown eyes connect with your Y/E/C ones.

You chuckle remembering you’d complained about your clients to him on multiple occasions. You loved your job but god you met some pretentious people along the way.

“Not more so than you when it comes to buying your vintage clothes.” You tease him, throwing your coat down on the settee before leaning over him and kissing the top of his head.

Matty playfully scoffs, “I’m not being picky, I just have taste.”

“Sure, that's what we'll call it.” You giggle as Matty pulls you down onto his lap so he could give you a hug.

His arms wrap around you and he buries his head into your neck. You smile, feeling him kiss your skin a few times but you just bury your nose into his soft curls that smell like his expensive almond conditioner, as you ask, “How’s your day been?”

“Boring without you here.” Matty tells you and even though he’s just being kind, it makes you smile.

As you ask, “How are the boys?” Matty’s lips slowly trace their way up your neck and to your jaw.

Your anxiety set in a bit then, knowing exactly where they were headed.

“They’re alright, I suppose.” Matty tells you, he kisses just under your ear before he says, “Wanna see you apparently.”

“Well that's no shock, they do love me more than they love you.” You joke.

Matty chuckles a little at that and kisses across your cheek as he whines, “You’re mineee.”

You giggle at that and throw your head laughing back just before his lips reach the corner of yours.

Matty chuckles too hearing your laugh and he kisses under your jaw whilst it’s exposed to him. Your laugh was so adorable, and he’d never tire of hearing it.

“Do you want a brew?” You ask the love of your life as you get up out of his lap.

Matty smiles, looking up at your gorgeous face, “I’d love a coffee please.”

You nod and head to the kitchen feeling a little relief that you’d got out of that one. You didn’t want him to be repulsed by the thought of kissing you, so you’d rather avoid kissing him instead.

But that turned out to be what gave you away.

That night you went to George’s for a Chinese with them all. Adam brought Carly with him so you ended up talking to her for most of the night to try and avoid PDA.

You just received passing kisses on the head or on the cheek that night, even when you crawled into bed later you just tucked your head under Matty’s chin and let sleep take over you quickly.

The following day you avoided them too and you thought you were being subtle about it. Sometimes you playfully dodged his kiss and kissed his cheek instead, and other times you made him kiss your cheek when he went in for one, because you’d put lip balm on.

But the day after you were still doing the same despite not being in a playful mood or having anything on your lips.

You were standing in your kitchen with Matty’s arms around your waist making the both of you an omelette for lunch. You’d told Matty to just take a seat at your kitchen table as he kept trying to distract you with hugs from behind and trying to lean over you and kiss your face.

You laugh but instruct him once more to sit himself down. After another minute of him pestering you, you nudge him with your hip to move himself over to the table and he finally lets go of you and lets you finish your delicious creation.

He says a thank you when you place it down in front of him and he was going to give you a kiss until you practically whipped yourself back to the kitchen counter, just ruffling his hair

“Hey.” Matty says to make you look over at him, and when you do, he asks, “What’s up?”

You put your own lunch on your plate and when you sit down on the seat at the end of the table, you say, “Nothing, why?”

Matty points out, “You've not let me kiss you for the past two days.”

You go quiet then feeling bad because you haven’t kissed your boyfriend. And for the fact you’d not been honest about it and its leading him to ask questions like, “Have I done something?

“No Matty.” You tell him softly, never wanting to make him think that.

You look into his gorgeous brown eyes and you can see he’s just curious about your behaviour. Usually you’re all over each other, but you have been pretty distant and with him only being back for 3 weeks it hurt your heart not to have him the way you wanted him.

But you’d rather not have the anxiousness that came with you being overly self-aware of your lips against his.

“Then what’s up?” Matty asks, watching as you avoid eye contact and just concentrate on your food.

You glance at his plate and see it’s going untouched, so you gesture to it saying, “I promise I’m fine, just eat before it goes cold.”

“Don’t tell me you've gone off me?” Matty says after a few seconds.  

And when you just take a deep breath to try and think over another excuse, Matty asks, “Oh my god, have you?”

“No.” Your eyes snap up to his in panic. You didn’t want him to think that at all, so you repeat, “No, never.”

“Then what's up?” Matty chuckles and then noticing your look of panic he makes light of it asking, “I���m feeling very affection starved.”

You close your eyes, sighing, “Matty.”

“Come on, love.” Your boyfriend chuckles before taking your hand and asking again, “What’s up?”

“Is it not obvious?” You ask, feeling like your lips were really disgusting right now.

Matty shakes his head, “I’ve got no clue why you won't let me kiss you.”

After a deep breath you tell him the truth, “My lips are a fucking state.”

“Your lips are fine.” Matty frowns a little confused, looking down at them. “What do you mean?”

You say in a vulnerable voice, hating having to point it out, “Matty it’s split.”

Matty glances back down at then again and he reaches up to cup your jaw. You resist the urge to pull away from his reach because after all he was the person who knew you best.

His thumb comes up and runs across your bottom lip then and he shakes his head, “It's tiny.”

You shake your head a little so his thumb drops. He was being polite; it wasn’t tiny at all. The only highlight was that it was starting to heal.

You follow up with, “I hate it, they feel all dry and disgusting.”

“You’re thinking they are a lot worse than they are Darling. I don’t hate them at all.” Matty says, scooting his chair a little closer so he could easily trace your lips again.

He softly asks, a little more sympathetic, “Did you really not want to kiss me because of that?”

“It’s vile.” You shake your head.

“It’s not.” Matty says and then adds, “You’re my girlfriend, I wanna kiss you all the time.”

You put your hand over your lips and shake your head.

“Stop that.” Matty bats your hand away but as soon as he retreats you cover your lips again.

“Stop it.” Matty insists, pulling your hand down and keeping hold of it, “You don’t have to do that.”

You try to pull your hand away but when he doesn’t let you, so you just bring your other one up when you say, “I do because you keep looking.”

“Only because I want to kiss them.” Matty grins at you.

You shake your head and look back down. Noticing your plates are still full, you try to change the subject by saying, “The food’s going cold.”

“It’ll get colder if you don't give me a kiss.” Matty grins.

You sigh then, still feeling conscious and you’re about to protest but your boyfriend doesn’t let you retreat again.

“Y/N.” Matty says before you can protest, “I want to kiss you all the time.”

He then makes a pouty face at you then and puckers his lips making kissing noises at you. He gets you giggling within seconds and your heart swells with how lovely he’s being towards you.

Matty can obviously tell it's something you’re not comfortable about. But he didn’t care in the slightest.

He loved you with the whole of his heart and he’d do everything he could to make you love yourself as much as he loved you. And if that meant kissing your pretty lips every second of every day, he would do.

You chuckle at your boyfriend puckering his lips at you and you ask, “Even wanna kiss me when my lips are mingin’?”

“They’re not mingin’.” Matty assures you before he just abandons his chair and just kneels on the ground in front of you.

He still has a hold of your hand and he gives it a little squeeze before he assures you, “I love you Y/N, course I wanna kiss you.”

You smile at him then and when he actually goes go for the kiss Matty is really happy you don’t stop him. Your kiss was just as sweet as it usually was and Matty felt the excitement bubble away inside him like it always had at the mere thought of kissing you.

But Matty just kept his one sweet, making sure you were calm and relaxed. And he was pleased to know you were.

When Matty pulls away, he smiles, “See...? Wasn't so bad, was it?

Your cheeks go a little hot then, seeing how much adoration was in his eyes. You don't hesitate to tell him, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Matty grins, before cheekily asking, “Can you have another one?”

You giggle at his one-track mind, but you decide to make him wait. You pass him your plate and say, “After you warm up my eggs.”

Your boyfriend takes it with a laugh and grabs his own plate. But he steals one more kiss from his gorgeous girlfriend on the way back to the stove.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You can add yourself to my Taglists in my Masterlist x

[vidavalor]

I can't help but notice that back in the first episode, Walker referred to Sam and Bucky as "Cap's wingmen" to Sam, implying that he doesn't really view the relationship between them as anything but this. He sees the Captain as the show and his backup as sidekicks. As much as Walker did genuinely care for Lemar, he also treated him like this in the group settings the whole show. He does all the talking, doesn't introduce Lemar to Sam and Bucky, who have to ask him who he is. Lemar could temper Walker a bit but Walker still sees himself as the show and Lemar a tool to help with his success more than anything else. Why does this matter in the context of Sam and Bucky?

Because John uses the word 'partner' to Bucky twice in reference to Sam and this implies that he can tell that Sam and Bucky roll differently than he does and treat one another differently. But Walker thinks this is dumb because Sam doesn't have the serum and Bucky is stronger physically. He doesn't get why Bucky doesn't act like Walker himself does-- in the leadership role, with Sam following as his wingman.

Bucky replies that Sam has dealt with worse than Karli (and clearly, ironically, means The Winter Soldier in part here, plus Thanos, etc.) He is making it clear that he doesn't see Sam as lesser than him because he's not a supersoldier-- that it isn't all about brute force. In saying this, he's saying that Sam has strengths to bring to the table that are not super physical strength and Bucky respects them. (By contrast, try to imagine Walker recognizing that Lemar had similar strengths. Imagine him saying it aloud, in front of other soldiers, including ones who were objectively physically stronger than him. Impossible, right?) Just by saying this, Bucky is showing another kind of strength that he possesses that John does not-- he's man enough to be a good, respectful partner. Which brings us to that word...

Bucky adds that Sam isn't his partner. This can be read a lot of different ways and has several overlapping meanings that are all probably a bit correct. On one level, he is saying they aren't working together as partners. (Even if the show has proved they are.) They still haven't really defined what it is they're doing together to one another and like hell is Bucky going to let John Walker be the one to label it, right? On another level, saying Sam isn't his partner is saying he doesn't view it that way because he is actually there to back up Sam. He's following Sam. Sam might see Bucky as a partner (even if they haven't discussed this) but Bucky might see it more as his role to back Sam up, similar to how he backed up Steve during the war. Sam, likely, wants to be more partners and has been allowing Bucky that space-- it is what they have evolved into-- but it isn't as clearly defined between them yet. But there's also the other use of it...

Walker, the physical embodiment of toxic masculinity, is attempting to bully Bucky a little, using words because he can't possibly best him physically at this point. The use of 'partner' from Walker comes off as aggressively sexual so here is a case of Walker being that asshole on the football team that we all know he was, trying to look bigger and tougher and more macho through thinly-veiled harassment of guys around him who dared to be comfortable with backing each other up and showing any caring openly. It is worth noting here that we have seen Sam and Bucky's whole evolution in the works here but Walker was just shown two guys he had no idea were arguing with one another because they put up a completely unified front in front of him. To Walker, this all is a little much for him and he tries to slander it by implying that it is gay, which he sees as not masculine.

Bucky denies being Sam's partner here for the already mentioned reasons regarding how they work together and that kind of partnership but make no mistake, he knew exactly what Walker was saying. So, another way of interpreting it is that Bucky was answering not in terms of the field work (where they do act as partners, really, even if Bucky might still be viewing it as something a little different... and, if he is, I hope Sam sets him straight on this being equal footing)... but I think Bucky was answering it regarding the sexual/romantic partners that Walker was trying to call them. But he did so in a way that is protective of Sam and makes him, ironically, a good partner.

Bucky is the character, remember, whose experience in the modern world included testing out and not minding casually outing himself as interested in men in the first episode, to a woman he was on a date with, no less. This isn't to say he's torn off the closet door from the era he grew up in in which he would have had to have been into men in secret. One thing he does get though is this kind of asshole like Walker that has sadly not evolved since the 30s. He responds in a way that he means to be protective of Sam, which is to say with his tone essentially "no, John, actually we are just like this because we aren't assholes like you and even if we were, we would still be better than you." But even if you think Bucky and Sam are already a thing by this episode or are aware of each other's potential feelings, Bucky isn't denying it to Walker as if it's something that makes then vulnerable or lesser as men. He doesn't have the same definition of it as Walker does.

Bucky is responding in a way where his tone says he gets what Walker was implying, thinks Walker is shit for not having a clue when it comes to what being a man is, and then casually answers the question as if Walker had meant field partners because, of course, that's what he meant, right? He makes Walker look stupid (which he is) by answering with word choice that says he didn't get the insinuation, even if his tone says he totally did. So, why not just be like "and so what if we were fucking, Walker! We still could kick your dumb ass anyday!"? Because Sam.

Because Bucky, who knows what it is like to be a soldier forced to sometimes be around guys like Walker, likely does not yet know how Sam approaches it. He likely doesn't know if Sam is out. The canon plays it as if literally everyone just assumes Bucky is bi or gay or basically anything that isn't straight but Sam is a different story. Bucky is not about to out Sam in front of everybody. He likely doesn't know yet how out Sam even is with others or how he feels about it. Out of respect for Sam, he's not about to let Walker's attempt at deriding them get anywhere. They literally could have been sleeping together for awhile now and Bucky is still not going to do anything about others knowing, least of all John Walker, unless or until that is what Sam wants and based on the canon, I would doubt very much if that had been a conversation they've already had by Ep 4.

But Walker, the terrifying awful dumb fuck, tries it again later-- this time, not in front of Sam. He saw what Bucky was doing, understood it, was embarrassed by Bucky making him look like a fool so what does he do? He bullies again. He goes at the core of Bucky in the way only the worst bullies can. He does it when Sam had to be in there alone, with a supersoldier, and Bucky is confident in Sam and giving him the space to do his thing, and then Walker lashes out at this less macho and violent plan to Bucky, calling Sam Bucky's partner again, trying to twist a knife by saying how could Bucky leave Sam in there and does he want his blood on his hands?

It's unspeakably cruel. But you might me mistaken if you think Bucky gave in here, even if it was a worry he had as he always worries for Sam because he cares and he has lost so many people and hurt so many that thinking about it happening again hurts him deeply. Bucky didn't verbally respond to Walker's taunts-- he did something much stronger than words could convey.

He didn't deny any definition of partner for Sam to Walker and he let Walker see how cruel he was by tearing up a bit, the pain in his eyes. Walker had no idea what to do with this. He had been trying to make Bucky angry. Instead, Bucky is silently strong enough to show how he feels *without* masking it all behind a macho, angry cover like Walker. Bucky's face says it all: yeah, you asshole, I love him. Yeah, I'm worried I could hurt him and have his blood on my hands. But also yeah, I survived being the Winter Soldier-- in general and just recently-- and I go to therapy now and I'm making amends and I'm free. Freer than you will ever be because which one of us will tear up and be a little afraid for another man and show him open care in this episode and which one will respond to pain with violence that begets nothing but more trauma and pain? Which one of us, Walker, is a brainwashed soldier and which one of us is a strong, decent man trying to be a good friend and partner? Which one of us, by the end of the episode, will make his partner feel like he'd take the serum in a heartbeat and which one of us will respond to his partner's fear at being vulnerable with "I'm going with you"?

He didn't speak a word in that scene but man. Whew. When it comes to toxic bullies?

Bucky Barnes can do this all day.

[ssahoodrathotchner]

There is a Light That Never Goes Out

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Summary: you get kidnapped by an unsub and needless to say, it’s not fun

Word Count: 6.9k

Warnings: swearing, blood, injuries, stabbing, panic attacks, kidnapping, hospitals, angst and fluff

A/N: wanted to write something angsty with a happy ending and here we are! the longest thing i’ve ever written

Masterlist

---

In hindsight, things could have gone better. The case itself was pretty straightforward, with the biggest complication being where the hell Michael Robertson was hidden away. However, no man can hide from Penelope Garcia and within six hours of figuring out Robertson was the unsub, she had his location narrowed down to a small farm in the middle of nowhere. Of course, you thought, where else would a guy like him torture and kill seven women.

Pulling up to the seemingly small farmhouse, you and Reid exchange looks before tightening your bulletproof vests. Double—triple—checking your gun, you tune in to Hotch and Rossi giving directions to the team and local PD about breaching the home. Hotch and Prentiss will take the front door, Morgan and Reid the back, while Rossi and JJ have the barn—you’ll take the side door and meet in the middle, easy. Local PD will secure the perimeter and provide backup as needed. Giving Hotch a reaffirming nod, you disperse to your entry points.

Taking a deep breath, you raise your weapon and prepare to bust this door down in hopes that Robertson will surrender peacefully and you can all go home because fuck do you want to get out of Iowa. Hearing Hotch’s signal, you kick down the door in front of you—a welcome plus of your job—and announce your presence. However, you’re met with a hard elbow to the face. Reeling backwards and tasting blood, you only have the sense to cup your now bleeding—and most likely broken—nose with your free hand.

“Motherfucker,” you spit out in pain, the comms in your vest picking up your voice.

“Y/L/N, report,” Hotch demands, voice scratchy through your earpiece.

However, you are unable to respond as Robertson moves towards you and, taking advantage of your dazed state, hits you over the head with a fucking two-by-four once, twice, nope three times before the jagged wood floor is rushing up to meet you as you collapse into darkness. Oh, fuck. You’re out before you hit the ground.

---

As soon as Aaron hears you swear, he knows it’s bad, but one look at Emily has him forging ahead and clearing each room like he is supposed to. Checking in with the other duos, Hotch can’t help but worry when you don’t respond immediately. When he finally gets to the mid-point of the house and the exact spot where you were supposed to rendezvous with him, Emily, Derek, and Spencer, his worries spike exponentially.

“Where’s Y/L/N,” he spits out.

“We didn’t see her,” Morgan answers carefully. “We assumed she found you guys,” he adds, and Hotch grits his teeth.

“Clear in the barn,” he hears Rossi report, and he sighs.

“Y/L/N is missing,” he says, surprisingly calm. “Report to the house.”

Police officers shuffle through the house, and Aaron tries not to let his irritation show. Turning back to the team, he can’t help but notice how worried the rest of them are.

“Our one and only priority is finding Y/N,” he states.

“I’ll get Garcia onboard to coordinate what happens next,” Morgan says, excusing himself from the tension of the farm house sitting room. “Expect some very distressed calls in your futures,” he finishes with a shake of his head.

“Emily and I will re-check the rest of the house, just in case,” JJ supplies, and Hotch nods. Reid, looking uneasy, makes some excuse about double-checking the floor plans of the property before skirting out the door, leaving Dave and Aaron—and some police officers—to survey the bland artwork on the walls.

Grasping the bridge of his nose, Aaron tries to take a deep breath, but he can’t; not with you missing on the property owned by an unsub fucking known for mutilating women.

“Hey,” Rossi approaches from Hotch’s left. “We’ll figure this out. Y/L/N’s a smart girl; she won’t go down easy,”

Hotch can only hope that Rossi’s right, but he trusts you; trusts your instincts as an agent.

---

You come to in bits and pieces. Some part of your brain recognizes that you’re being dragged by your armpits down some rickety stairs and deep into the earth; another part recognizes that your hands are free, which means your gun is no longer in your grasp. Fuck fuck fuck. A particularly harsh blow to your head from the hands of your captor stops any further thoughts. Fuck you, Robertson.

---

Regrouping with the team outside the house, Hotch starts to get agitated.

“What do you mean there’s an elaborate tunnel system beneath the house, Garcia,” he almost yells. “How did you not catch this before.”

“Well,” Reid steps in, “the only plans that include this system are dated between 1910 and 1924 which means that they were built in at least the 1900s and the fact that they do not appear in any property plans since those dates suggests that the subsequent owners either didn’t know about the tunnels, or they actively chose to not include them for some reason which—”

“—which means that we don’t really have a clue as to what the current tunnels look like,” Morgan finishes for him, and Hotch internally blanches.

No, he thinks to himself. I will not lose her like this, not after Haley.

Taking a deep breath, Hotch tries to re-assess the situation, but finds himself unable to breathe deeply. At all. Gasping, he tries to communicate to the team the severity of their situation, but all that comes out is a strangled noise. Vaguely, he hears Morgan clear the room as JJ gently takes his upper arm and steers him out the back door of the house on to the porch.

“Hotch,” he can’t stand to listen to her voice; her calm demeanor only increasing his anxiety about your current situation.

“Hotch,” JJ tries again, harsher this time. “I need you to take a breath; only one, just now, that’s it.”

I can do that, he thinks. And he does; he takes one solitary breath.

“Good,” she encourages, “now do it again, just once.” And so he does, again, and again, for JJ.

Once his breathing is under control and JJ steps back with an appraising eye, he speaks.

“We need to find her,” he gasps out. “We have to; I can’t—” he trails off.

With a softness he has yet to comprehend, JJ looks into his eyes and sighs.

“We’ll find her, Hotch,” she reassures him. “She’s on the property, she has to be, and we’ll find her.”

With a shaky nod, Hotch allows JJ’s words to take hold of him, and he goes back to being the BAU’s Unit Chief. Gazing out on the field behind the house, his resolve is firm; Aaron Hotchner will find you, Michael Robertson be damned.

---

The next moment you remember—thanks broken nose and probable concussion—is your body being roughly thrown into a plastic chair, sans bullet-proof vest, and then your arms and legs being tightly tied down. A rag of some sort is crudely stuffed into your mouth, and you can’t help but gag because fuck does it do nothing to replace the gross taste of blood in your mouth. At least it’s me, you think to yourself, I’d hate to think of anyone else from the team in this position. And with that thought, you drift out of consciousness with Aaron’s face in the forefront of your addled mind. Love, I hope you find me soon.

---

It’s been three hours and Aaron Hotchner is losing his mind. Garcia, to her credit, is working furiously to uncover literally everything she can on Robertson, his family, friends as well as the closest neighboring farms to the one the BAU is currently ripping apart. Prentiss and Morgan have taken to meticulously going through each and every room of the house and barn in hopes of discovering some new and hidden passageway to the tunnel system that resides under the structure. Reid is creating an enhanced geographical profile of the property and those that encompass it, while JJ and Rossi discuss the nuances of Robertson’s profile somewhere with the local cops. Aaron, however, can only seem to scowl at the field of corn behind the house and remember the last moments he had with you before you disappeared.

“Hotch,” he turns when he hears Morgan’s voice. “We’ve got something.”

Heart racing, Hotch nods and follows Morgan out the side door—the one you entered—before stopping just short of the man in front of him.

“Local crime scene techs just confirmed that there’s blood here, and judging from the placement of the drops, it seems that Robertson got the drop on Y/L/N,” he states with a grimace, and Hotch can’t help but scrutinize the ground where your blood has fallen.

“Reid’s got a better handle on what might have happened, but I thought you’d like to see it for yourself,” Morgan finishes, and Hotch nods tightly before moving off in search of Reid. Finding the young profiler in the front room of the farm house, Hotch only has to look at him before he’s revealing all that he’s learned since your disappearance.

“It seems that the blueprints for the house were updated once since the 1920s, which was in 1953, so that’s our most recent map of what the whole underside of the property looks like,” Reid continues. “From what I can tell, there are at least five entrance points, three main walkways, and eight different chambers that appear to function as some form of bunker for the previous owners, and so my guess is that Y/N is being kept in one of the rooms, just like the previous victims most likely were,” Reid pauses. “Not that Y/N will become another victim, I’m just saying that for the sake of the case it appears that—” Emily enters the room and Hotch has never been so grateful for her presence in a room, ever.

“Hey, I don’t mean to disrupt Reid’s briefing, but local PD has found a possible way into the fuckin’ labyrinth out in the barn,” she states, curiously looking over at the map Reid has scribbled onto the property blueprints.

Turning his head sharply, Hotch nods at Prentiss and uncrosses his arms as she leads him out of the farm house as Reid continues to ponder the blueprints in front of him.

---

The next time you rise to consciousness, Robertson is dragging an ugly hunting knife across your collarbones, shoulder to shoulder, and cooing at you to wake up. Weirdo.

“Ah, there you are baby,” Robertson says sweetly. “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t wake up for me.”

You let out a groan and through the gag in your mouth—holy fuck does it taste like dirty socks—you attempt to cuss out your captor.

“Now, now, Sweetness,” Robertson chides. “Let’s have some fun, shall we?” and with that terrifying statement, he leans closer to you and pulls the knife across your left shoulder, effectively slicing open your work shirt. Damn, you think to yourself, this was actually one of my favorites. But that’s the last coherent thought you produce because the combination of Robertson’s knife, the searing pain of your broken nose, and your own possibly concussed brain are unable to completely comprehend any more information as the man in question leaves light slices across your upper chest. Thankfully, the rag—sock? —in your mouth muffles your whimpers as you jolt in pain. Aaron, please find me soon you think before the feeling is all-encompassing and your mind shifts to merciful blankness.

---

“I wish I could do more,” Garcia states, but Hotch can only sigh in agreement.

“You’ve done well, Garcia. Let me know if you find anything else,” Hotch states, eyes darting over to the geographical profile Reid is standing in front of, conversing with Emily. The tunnel found by local PD had been a decoy, and they were no closer to finding you.

“Of course, Sir. I’m on it like Sergio on tuna. Garcia out,” and with that statement, the line goes dead.

Putting his phone in his pocket, Hotch walks towards Reid and Prentiss with purpose.

“Reid, have you found anything else about the tunnel system?”

“It appears that there are a series of false entrances that don’t actually connect with the full network of passageways,” Reid states gesturing wildly at the map. “The full system can only be accessed from four different vantage points, but given that this map hasn’t been updated since the 50s, I only have a general idea of where the entryways are given that the buildings on the property have shifted since the last accurate map was compiled.”

“The good news is that two of the entrances seem to be contained within this house, the bad news is that they may have been bricked over by renovations to the building,” Prentiss says with a grimace. “The other two entries are somewhere out in what’s now the fields, so we’ll have less luck finding them, even with all the extra help from the PD.”

Hotch’s shoulders sag under the weight of the new information and he frowns at the agents in front of him. Squinting hard at the blueprints haphazardly tacked to the board in front of him, Hotch tries to make sense of the possible entry points in the house he’s currently standing in.

“Get Morgan in here,” Hotch finally says. “He’s got experience with restoration work and may have a better idea on where the unsub could have taken Y/N from within the house given the structural changes.” And with that, Hotch strides out the front door of the house and leans on the porch railing. Y/N, I’m coming for you, just hold on a little longer.

---

Robertson is a bitch. And he has the knife to prove it.

“So, you’re impotent, that’s why you’re using such a big knife, right?” you taunt him after who knows how fuckin’ long. “You see, we thought you had, mmm, issues, but we didn’t know for sure; this just confirms it.”

He took the gag out of your mouth to hear you scream, but you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of doing so. However, instead of responding to your jabs, Robertson just drives the knife a little bit deeper into your torso and you let out a hiss in retaliation, throwing your head back.

“God, you sure know how to treat a girl, don’t ya?” you grit out between pained breaths. “No wonder a charmer like you had so many lady friends.”

“They didn’t appreciate me!” Robertson yells. “Just like you don’t appreciate me!”

The next slash glances off your ribs and yikes does it fuckin’ hurt. Jerking away as best you can, you contemplate your options. At this point, you know your only way out is to either escape—as if—or to make Robertson see some semblance of reason. Otherwise, you aren’t going to make it out of here alive. Fuck, you think, I’m so sorry, Aaron. I promise I’ll find you. Or you’ll find me. A particularly vicious cut to your cheekbone draws you back to reality, and once again, you are only able to focus on the pain and Robertson’s maniacal laughter. Creepy motherfucker.

---

Hotch has never seen Morgan so focused. Scouring the blueprints with Reid and Prentiss, Garcia on speakerphone, Morgan works to figure out where the hell Robertson could have disappeared to inside the house. With you. Hotch has taken to pacing the length of the house in order to keep his nerves and his temper somewhat under control; he needs to be alert and ready to get to you as soon as possible. Running a hand through his hair and over his face, Hotch sighs which draws the attention of Rossi and JJ who slowly drift over to him from their place by a window.

“Hotch—” JJ starts but is cut off by a hard look.

“We’ll find her, Aaron.” Rossi tries. “You know that she’s here somewhere, probably giving Robertson all sorts of hell.”

“We’ve seen what Robertson does to his victims, Dave,” Hotch retorts. “He basically slices women to pieces and beats them,” taking a breath, he tries to calm himself. “We need to find her alive,” he finishes softly.

JJ and Rossi share a concerned look before Rossi sighs and steps forward to place a hand on Hotch’s shoulder.

“We’ll find her. There’s no way—” he’s cut off by an excited yell and the three of them swing around towards the source of the noise which happens to be Prentiss.

Morgan’s already moving, stalking into another room and Reid, accompanied by Garcia on the phone, hurries to catch up.

“We found the door Robertson most likely used to take Y/L/N and we’re pretty sure it connects to the full system under the property,” Prentiss explains and that’s all it takes for Hotch to stride off after Morgan and Reid.

Head spinning, Aaron fluctuates between hope and hopelessness. He knows they’ll find you; Robertson can’t hide in the tunnel system, no matter how well he knows them, but he’s most worried about you. We’re coming for you, Y/N. I won’t let this bastard get away with this.

---

Your whole body fucking hurts and you’re pretty sure it’s not just because you started off your captivity with a broken nose and concussion. Your mouth tastes like blood again from how hard you’ve clamped down on your bottom lip to resist screaming as loud as you can. Robertson is cruel, there’s no question about that. You’d seen the photos of his other victims, and now you were undergoing the same things those women did in their last moments. Your entire body feels heavy, and if you weren’t tied down to a chair, you don’t think you’d be able to hold yourself up. Between the blood loss and head trauma, you’re surprised your thoughts are still relatively coherent.

Robertson is pacing in front of you, muttering to himself, shooting looks your way, and absentmindedly gesturing with the knife in his hand. Fantastic, you think hazily, he’s most likely devolving and I’m the only one around. Yay. Sucking in a breath, you wince as the action reignites a dizzying pain in your torso. Letting out a groan, you flinch as Robertson turns towards you, eyes shining with something that makes your heart race a little quicker. 


“Now, baby,” he states with a twisted grin—grimace? —that makes you grit your teeth even harder. “I’m not done with you yet, don’t worry. I still wanna hear you scream for me.”

Here we go again.

“Do your worst,” you snarl at him, and while that’s probably the worst thing to say to a devolving unsub, you’re too fed up and tired to care at this point; you can take it, you have to take it so you can survive. C’mon, Aaron. Where’s my knight in shining armor? Robertson descends on you with renewed vigor, and after the fourth slice to your leg, your ears rush and your head drops to your chest as you pass out. Fuck.

---

The trap door Robertson dragged you down can only be accessed by sliding one of the wooden floorboards back half an inch before it clicks into place and the adjoining boards lift slightly, revealing the way into the tunnels. How Morgan, Reid, and Prentiss figured that out is beyond Hotch’s current thought process because how many times had he paced over that exact spot? As soon as the hatch is lifted, all he sees is blood—your blood—sprinkled on the steps that descend into the darkened passageway. He takes a sharp breath and somewhere behind him, he can hear JJ gasp and Morgan swear.

“Medics are on stand-by,” comes Rossi’s voice from his shoulder.

Nodding tersely and setting his shoulders, he turns to the team.

“Stay alert and stick together. We don’t know where Robertson is, so clear the rooms and move on.” His voice is hard and leaves no room for debate.

“Let’s go get our girl,” Morgan adds, and with that, the team takes careful steps down into the hallway, following Aaron.

---

The first room they happen across is empty, as are the second, third, and fourth rooms. Forging ahead, knowing that they’re only closer to where you are, they continue. Turning a corner, Hotch can hear movement and his heart speeds up. Robertson. Signaling to the team to pause, he gauges the best course of action. He doesn’t know what state you’re in, or Robertson for that matter, and so he has to approach the situation with caution. Gun in hand and stepping to one side of the door, he lets Morgan and Prentiss move to the other. Backed by JJ, Reid, and Rossi, Hotch nods and Morgan kicks down the door before moving quickly inside, yelling at Robertson. Prentiss follows him and then Hotch steps through and freezes.

Robertson is crouched over your crumpled and bloody body looking wild-eyed at the agents in front of him. Hotch can’t breathe. You aren’t moving.

“She’s mine,��� Robertson snarls, brandishing a knife at Morgan as he tries to get closer. “Mine!”

“Okay, Michael,” says Rossi calmly, “Let’s figure this out.”

“No. She’s mine! I’m not done,” Robertson’s reply is harsh, bordering on a yell.

“What do you mean you aren’t done, Michael?” Hotch’s voice is cold and flat. What more could Robertson possibly want?

“She didn’t scream! I need her to scream for me!” and with that, Robertson runs the tip of his blade down your already bloody cheek.

The team is stunned, but then Robertson raises the knife in the air over your chest and—

He falls.

Looking slowly to the right, Hotch sees Prentiss, gun raised, and then to Robertson splayed on the ground, blood pooling under his head. Vaguely, Hotch hears Reid calling for medics and alerting the local officers to what just happened. Morgan’s already at your side, turning you slowly, carefully, gently on to your back, and that’s when Hotch rushes to you, gun holstered.

He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. There’s blood everywhere. Aaron can’t tell if you’re breathing. He chokes back a sob. I’m so sorry, Sweetheart.

“Hotch, she’s alive,” Morgan breathes, and with that, Hotch lets out a sigh of relief and allows himself to fully look at you, blinking a few times to rid his eyes of tears.

Your face is littered with shallow cuts. Your nose is bloody—definitely broken—and there’s already bruising around your eyes. Your shirt is torn and bloodied in so many places, as are your pants. He can see blood leaking slowly multiple places on your thighs, and even more from your arms and midsection. Your eyes are closed.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Hotch presses down on one of the lacerations to your torso, Morgan taking another, and JJ appearing to apply pressure on a cut that’s just a little too close to your femoral artery.

“C’mon, Sweetheart,” his voice shakes. “I need you to open your eyes, Y/N. Have to know you’re okay.”

There’s yelling from down the hallway, medics bustling into the room and taking over. Aaron can’t make himself let go of you, and it takes Rossi’s gentle but firm hand to guide him back and away from you. He can’t stop shaking.

---

You wake, briefly, when you feel yourself being lifted. Squinting, you try to turn your head, as the rest of the world comes crashing back in a wave of sound and movement. Vision blurred, you try and make sense of what’s going on around you.

“She’s awake!” calls a voice from your left, and you can make out the outline of… JJ? They’re here.

You’re shifted around more, and you get the idea that you’re being strapped down to a gurney as medics begin to wheel you out of the hellhole where Robertson held you.

Suddenly, there’s a hand grasping yours, and before your mind can comprehend what’s happening, all you hear is—

“Sweetheart…?” in the most relieved, reverent, adoring, tone you think you’ve ever heard in your life and it’s Aaron holding your hand. He’s here he’s here he’s here. He found me.

“Aaron,” his name leaves you in a sigh. “Y’found me,” you say softly, looking him over.

“Of course, I did, Sweetheart,” he says, just as soft.

“Where’s…?” you don’t want to say his name.

“Dead. Emily shot him,” Aaron answers in a low voice. Good fucking riddance.

You hum and ease back as the gurney jostles you particularly hard. Gritting your teeth, you groan as you head starts to pound even harder. Feeling yourself losing consciousness, you squeeze Aaron’s hand.

“Love you,” and before he can respond, you vision goes black and all is quiet once more.

---

After you get loaded into the nearest ambulance and speed towards the hospital, Rossi confirms that local officers have secured the scene. With not a moment to waste, the team takes off after the ambulance. Morgan calls Garcia to update her on your status and spends a majority of the ride to the hospital convincing her that she doesn’t need to fly over to see you. Hotch stares blankly out the window and replays the entire interaction with Robertson. He saw the damage Robertson did to you—I need her to scream—and can’t help but feel a little bit of pride at the fact that you didn’t give in to Robertson despite the obvious pain you endured.

The SUVs pull up to the hospital, screeching to a halt, before all the doors are thrown open and the team hurries into the lobby. The nurse at the desk looks up to find six disheveled agents crowding around the counter, worry across all of their faces.

“We’re here for Agent Y/L/N, she probably arrived twenty minutes ago,” Hotch states, voice surprisingly calm.

“I can confirm she arrived and that she’s currently being attended to, but I don’t know any more than that at this moment,” the nurse replies, looking at the computer screen.

“Do you know if she’ll be okay?” asks Spencer in a subdued voice.

“The severity of her injuries is yet to be determined, I’m afraid. She has obvious head trauma, numerous lacerations, and possible internal bleeding, but until I get another update, that’s all I can share,” the nurse says with a sad smile.

Nodding, Aaron steps away from the counter. C’mon, Sweetheart.

“Thank you,” comes Rossi’s voice from Hotch’s left, and with that, the team migrates to the largest cluster of chairs where they promptly collapse in exhaustion.

Sitting down heavily, Hotch rests his elbows on his knees and runs a hand over his face. Prentiss drops in to the chair on his left, Rossi settles in on his right. Across from them, Reid and JJ sit on either side of Morgan. Looking down at his hands, Aaron realizes that they still have your blood on them. He glares at them, somehow wishing that if he stares hard enough, it’ll vanish on its own. A hand closes around one of his, and he looks at Emily.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” she says softly, then, louder, “You guys too, Morgan and JJ. Let’s go.”

It’s then that Aaron looks—really looks—and sees that like him, Morgan and JJ have your blood on their hands as well. With a nod, they all stand. Morgan and Hotch walking into the men’s room while Emily follows JJ to keep her company. Mechanically, the two men stand side-by-side and turn on the taps, starting the slow process of washing away the blood that’s dried on them. Glancing to the side, Hotch sees Morgan, brow furrowed in concentration, as he scrubs under his nails.

“Thank you,” he says, stopping his own motions to fully look at Derek, who turns at the sound of his voice.

“For what?” Morgan asks, slightly confused.

“For going over the blueprints with Reid, Prentiss, and Garcia. For figuring out where in the house Y/N had disappeared. For going above and beyond to find her and— “

“Hotch, you don’t have to thank me for that,” Morgan cuts him off. “I will do everything in my power to make sure this team is okay, you know that,” and with a small grin, he adds “I’m just happy that one of my hobbies was useful for the case.”

Hotch can’t help but smile a little in return, and with that, they go back to washing their hands in a more comfortable silence.

---

Walking back into the waiting area, Hotch is confronted with the sight of Reid and Rossi surrounded by a pile of snacks from one of the vending machines. He pauses for a second, shakes his head, and then continues back to the chair he was sitting in earlier. Once he’s seated, Reid tosses him a bag of something—chips? —which he dutifully opens under the watchful eye of Rossi. Morgan snags his own snack and then leans against the nearest wall, content to stand. A short while later, Emily and JJ return, Emily’s arm secure around JJ’s shoulders, before they too are digging in to the veritable mountain of food that Reid and Rossi managed to accumulate. Sitting in silence—save the crunching of whatever food they were eating—the team takes a second to contemplate and reassess the day.

The sound of Velcro breaks Hotch out of his trance, and he looks over to see Morgan undoing his bulletproof vest. The vests which the rest of them are still wearing. There’s a scramble after that, to rid themselves of their exterior layer, which are then haphazardly stacked on an open seat. Taking a deep breath for what feels like the first time in days, Hotch sinks back in his chair and closes his eyes, head tipped back against the cool wall behind him.

“Anyone want water?” Reid is the first to break the tenuous silence. There’s a chorus of hums and head shakes before he stands and wanders off, presumably in the direction of the vending machines where he first got the food.

“She’ll be fine, you know,” Rossi says looking at Aaron, whose eyes are now open, staring at the ceiling. “She’s tough, tougher than I think we gave her credit for.”

Hotch sighs in response, but Emily is the next to speak up.

“Robertson said she didn’t scream, which…” she trails off, looking at the floor before meeting Aaron’s eyes. “I don’t think I could have done that, not like that. I can’t imagine what that was like for her...”

“I wish we had gotten there sooner,” Hotch finally says. “I wish—”

“No.” Morgan says, a hard edge to his voice. “Don’t do that to yourself, Hotch. Or any of us. We did what we could and we found her alive.”

“I know, but—” Hotch is cut off by JJ this time.

“But nothing, Aaron. She’s going to be okay.” And with that, JJ moves from her chair to the one next to him and gently puts a hand on his shoulder. “She was awake and talking before they took her away, you know that,” she adds softly.

“Hey guys, so I talked to the nurse and—” Reid returns and with those words, Hotch sits straight in his seat, JJ’s hand falling away as his attention and that of his teammates focus on what Reid has to say next. “—and apparently, Y/N only needed minor surgery to repair some internal damage from three of the stab wounds and the other slashes were relatively shallow, so they just needed to be stitched up. She also has contusions on her head from where I’m guessing Robertson hit her to initially subdue her, and she does have a concussion and broken nose, but according to the nurse Y/N only has to stay here for a maximum of three days to make sure that there are no serious effects from the concussion and to keep an eye on her sutures before she’ll be cleared to leave.” Reid’s final statement hangs in the air, sinking in, and once it does, Aaron hangs his head as tears fall down his cheeks. You’re okay. You’re alive you’re alive you’re alive.

Derek immediately calls Garcia to give her the good news and her scream of excitement can be heard by the rest of the team even though Morgan did not have her on speakerphone. Rossi chuckles to himself before looking over at Aaron and his shaking shoulders. Putting a hand on his back, Rossi doesn’t say anything, but instead, provides silent support to the man who almost lost what little he had left.

“Agent Y/L/N?” comes a voice from the desk, and Aaron wipes his eyes before taking a breath and standing and turning with the rest of the team.

“Yes?” It’s Prentiss who replies.

“We’ve moved her to a room; you can see her now,” and with that, the nurse beckons for them to follow her through the set of double-doors that lead further into the hospital. Coming to a stop, the nurse turns and fixes Hotch with a look. “I’ll warn you now, she looks worse off than she actually is, so don’t be put off by her appearance. She shouldn’t move too much because there’s a risk she’ll rip her stitches, but other than that, she’ll be okay,” and with a nod, she opens the door and ushers them inside.

Aaron’s eyes rush to take in your appearance—butterfly bandages across your nose, a few on your cheekbones and forehead, bandages up both arms, and he’s sure there’s more hidden from view. For a moment, he’s taken back to the last time he saw you laying this still. Crumpled on the floor, bloody and unmoving, Robertson with a knife crouched over you, going to kill you—

Prentiss pushes past him, breaking his train of thought, as she moves to your side and gives a low whistle before gingerly taking your hand. Aaron walks to your other side, bending down to place a kiss on the top of your head, and the rest of the team surround your bed, everyone gazing down at your sleeping form.

---

The first thing you notice is the pain in your head, followed by pain that slowly pulses through your whole body, and for a moment, you remember. Robertson, the knife, slicing, slashing, taunting, yelling, don’t scream can’t scream—

But then you feel it. The familiar pressure of Aaron kissing your head and it clears your head a bit. Not with Robertson, not with Robertson, I’m not with that fucker.

“Fuck,” you groan, mind still hazy, pain more intense, as you return to consciousness. “Wh’re am I?” you slur out next, as you blink away the tiredness in your eyes and try not to squint at the fluorescents or the shadows that are sharpening into your team.

Looking to your right, you lock eyes with Aaron, who pushes hair off of your face before smiling sweetly at you and you try to smile back.

“Hi, Love,” you say, voice low and rough. He leans down and kisses your forehead this time, before gently holding your hand.

Realizing you aren’t alone, you look around at the rest of the team, squeezing Emily’s hand in yours.

“You killed ‘im?” you ask, searching her face. She nods. “Good,” you sigh. “He was such an asshole.”

With that, Derek laughs, followed by Rossi. Emily’s shoulders drop as she lets out a chuckle, Spencer smiles, and JJ rolls her eyes with a fond grin. Almost the whole team.

As if summoned by the power of thought, Derek’s phone rings and he answers the call, Garcia’s voice coming through loud and clear on speakerphone.

“Y/N! My poor, poor, goddess divine how are you?” she questions. You clear your throat and attempt to speak, but before you can say anything Morgan is passing the phone to Aaron, who holds it closer to your face. You shoot him a grateful smile before responding.

“I’m fine, Pen. Just some cuts and scrapes,” you joke.

“That’s a lie, Y/L/N and we all know it. Don’t make me ask you again!” she chastises and you roll your eyes, holding back a wince as pain twinges through your side.

“I’ll be okay, Penelope,” you say softly. Another jolt of pain, this time in your arm, almost makes you whimper, but you bite your lip instead. An action which does not go unnoticed in a room full of profilers.

“It’s nice to see you awake, Y/N,” JJ says lightly before shooting a glance at Aaron and then looking at the rest of the team. “But we should get back to the hotel.”

“Bye my lovelies! I’m happy you’re okay, Y/N. Get home safe, please! Garcia out,” and Derek puts his phone away before smiling at you. Reid give you a small wave and Rossi claps a hand on Aaron’s shoulder before they all turn to exit.

With one last squeeze to your hand, Emily lets go and follows the rest of the team, save Aaron, out the door with the promise that they’ll return later.

When everyone is out and the door shuts behind them, you finally let out a pained breath and scrunch your eyes shut with a groan. You feel Aaron smooth a hand over your hair and you try to control your breathing, but it’s hard when your entire body hurts. Slowly, tears make their way down your face and Aaron’s quick to softly brush them away. Turning to look at him, you allow yourself to breakdown in the safety of his presence.

Your breath hitches as the tears fall faster, your head hurts, your chest hurts, everything hurts and you try not to break into a sob, but the tears won’t stop and eventually sobs wrench from your body and you let them. Aaron has tears of his own falling down his face and he holds your hand in both of his, kissing your knuckles, fingertips, palm, whatever he can as he watches you break. He wants to hold you, wrap you in his arms and shield you from the pain but he can’t because your injuries prevent him from doing so and it pains him to see you this way. So he does what he can.

“I love you too, Sweetheart. I didn’t get to say it before you passed out and—” he pauses to take a breath. “I love you so much. So so much.”

“I was so scared—” you gasp through a sob. “Terrified, Aaron. I couldn’t—” you can’t speak through the force of your tears. Aaron shushes you and kisses your cheek, running his thumb over your knuckles.

“I know, Sweetheart. I know, but you were so brave, so brave and I am so proud of you for being so strong and—” he breaks off in his own soft sob. “—and for staying alive. You’re alive.”

Lifting a hand to scrub at your face, you take a few deep breaths, but more tears escape.

“I can’t—” your breath hitches at what exactly Robertson had done to you. “He wanted me to scream so I didn’t, I couldn’t. I knew what he did to the others, and I just thought that—” you take another breath. “I just thought that if I could deny him that, not give in, it would buy you guys time to find me,” you pull Aaron’s hand to your lips, resting them on the back of his hand and closing your eyes to ground yourself.

“And you did,” he replies softly, gently. “When we found you—” he takes his own steadying breath. “When we found you, Robertson was angry, he said…he said he needed to make you scream, and hearing that…I just,” he moves his hand to cup your face, softly moving his thumb over the bandage on your cheekbone. “You astound me, Sweetheart. Everyday,” he finishes in a whisper.

“I love you,” you say just as softly.

“I love you more,” he smiles, and you can’t help but smile back.

You lean forward, then. And he meets halfway, hand disentangling from yours so he can cradle both sides of your face as he sinks into the kiss. One of your own hands finds its place on his cheek and you sigh into his lips. This. This is what kept me alive, you think when he gently tilts your head. I love you I love you I love you. Thank you. With tears slowly drying on both your faces, you and Aaron revel in the comfort of each other. In the words you don’t have to speak, and the touch of the one you love. Through the worry, pain, and fear of the day, this is how it always ends. You and Aaron. Together. Safe. Loved.