#i have no filter right now. i’m going to be unhinged.

[luxdraconia]

hey if you’re a writer and depict all your aroallo characters as predatory and/or villains, go fuck yourself

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Is there a chance you can make the yan! dorm leaders (mostly Leona and Malleus) react to their darling who acts like Jinx from Arcane? if you don't know Arcane you can ignore this.

Jinx Reader | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

You are erratic, you’re creative, you’re always building something, and you always seem to be armed. Hanging from rafters or gargoyles, you fit right in with the colorful characters of Night Raven College. So it's no surprise that so many are enraptured by you. If they can survive you that is they’ll make sure no one else around you does:

Malleus Draconia

“You never cease to amaze me child of man!”

If you are not found conducting major renovations on Ramshackle, your spray paint your tag on different gargoyles of Night Raven

At first, he may not be too fond of this 

but when he finally gets to meet you 

He’s happy there’s a piece of you on the things he loves

He’s aware you're a bit of an outcast but it only means he gets more of your attention

Like with Silko, you establish intimacy without acknowledgment for personal space and he’s all about it

RIP to Sebek should he have anything to say

Luckily for Sebek, you’d sooner point a gun and threaten him than wait for Malleus to exact his own punishment

You scare most people away anyway

So whenever you have doubts or insecurities they come to him 

Malleus is sure to filter out anything that he doesn’t like

“Of course, your toys are appreciated by the student body. No one has died and the screams of joy echo throughout the entire college. Fear not, my love.”

His and your sense of fun and ‘what's okay’ is really skewed

It's so bad Lillia needs to be a father figure the both of you

But since Malleus is so….Malleus, he doesn’t always decide to listen to him

So it's quite possible you two will decide to bring wonderland to an end for funsies

“I’ve always wanted to give the world a taste of me!”

“And they will have it, my Love. Since I will it, your creations will be on everyone’s minds!”

Leona Kingscholar

“You’re such a wreck. I couldn’t call you an herbivore even if I tried.”

He’s mostly amused by your just bizarre nature

You probably first met because you jumped and continued to snuggle him

He’s also enamored with the way you so easily point your guns at the bigger guys in Savvannaclaw

From then on no one's going to question you

In fact, you're so unhinged the Savannaclaw students group around you like they do with Leona

And he couldn’t be happier

It's like you're the perfect accessory to his crimes

In the future, any scheme is proposed by you 

Because your like “If you want it I’ll get it for you”

He’s the one who has to reel you in

He starts having a problem though when people want to take you down a notch

Whether they trash your workshop or severely damage something big you’ve been working on

“T-they-! R-ruined it! It’s all destroyed!”

“I’m right here. I’m right here. You know me, I won’t let them get away with this.”

And he won’t 

while you’re curled up in the fetal position on his bed, he’s hunting down the poor fools who are going to be paralyzed by the time he’s done

“Y-you beat them up for me?”

“You’re my mate. It’s only natural I avenge you. Now stop crying and sleep.”

“Okay!”

Vil Schoenheit

“If only you put as much work into your inventions as you did your reputation.”

He can deal with radical personalities 

He works with Rook every day after all

But unlike his vice warden who is adamant about maintaining beauty 

you care more to build an invention that's going to ruin everyone else’s beauty

But he loves you still

Even when you have a hard time sitting still while he’s doing your makeup he loves you obsessively

“Darling, you left one of your gadgets in my suitcase!”

“Toss it this way!”

“I’m not. I know what your clicker toys do and I have a shoot today.”

He gains an uncanny knowledge of what all of your inventions do

And he gets just as good at dodging anything you throw at him

But of course, he’s not the only one under fire

Some fans eventually do find you despite your reclusive nature

And it's easy for them to threaten you indirectly through your inventive space

Vil will take control as he usually does

He’ll happily create an untraceable potion and invite the aggressors over to tea

And even when he makes them apologize he’s not giving them the real antidote

People from the outside will say he acts like your parent 

But he likes taking care of you

In fact, if you start trying to move on your own 

He tugs you back by your heartstrings

“Don’t you love me? Don’t you trust me, darling?!”

“Of course I do Vil! I just wanted to help pay the bills you know?”

“But Darling don’t you know I already pay for everything? Even all your inventions? Let’s not change that now, okay?”

Idia Shroud

“Oh? A fellow builder, huh? Maybe we can...have a bit of a wager. I’d love to see how you fare against me!”

You and him are two peas in a pod

Both of you are something of mad scientists

So you two are always inventing with one another

Normally in demented competition you both love to test your newest inventions with another

“Ah~(Y/n)-shi let’s make a bet!”

“First one to blow up is the winner?”

“And the loser has to be support?

“And the winner?”

“Hehe the winner…gets to make the loser reenact the actions from the R-18 doujin!”

“Awww poor ‘dia you’ll be so embarrassed when I have you reenact the maid scene!”

“Not as cute as you’ll be when I enact page 69.”

You two love wagers 

It’s Idia’s favorite game

To bet with you is the best

He could ask for nothing more

So its only natural he uses his newest inventions to torment whoever he was hearing through the bug he placed on you

He still gets shy but he can’t help but smile when you turn your attention toward him

“Mine! The winner of this game is me! You’re all mine!”

Azul Ashengrotto

“You truly are an enigma, (Y/n). I insist you join Octavinelle for the next year.”

He’s used to dealing with someone who is heavily swayed by mood

And he always has uses for your newest inventions

And since he’s always keeping you busy theres less of a chance you realize how much he shelters you

“Since you so willingly took up all of our commissions the least I could do was offer you this space.”

“Wow it has all the stuff I like in here! It looks so much like my room! How’d you know?”

“Lucky guess? I also made sure that I’d deliver your favorite meals at the correct hours of the day.”

“Yay!”

He’s merciless against those who seek to cut him out 

And he does whatever he has to to make sure they suffer for the crime of gaining your favor

he blushes when you're comfortable enough to sit on his lap 

he loves it all the more

And he promises to keep this as his special payment

All within the contract, you so easily signed 

He’s completely within his rights to do so

“As per our agreement, you can only build for me or concede and become mine.”

Riddle Rosehearts

“You have no rules or reason! Someone needs to whip you into shape and that will be me!”

He thinks your crazy

Which obviously means he has to take control

Forget about your love for explosives 

And forget about your habits with guns

“You’re royalty show some decorum!”

“Decorum? Forget that I’d rather be poor then!”

“Not possible. I won’t allow it.”

“Oh yeah? Than what do you say to my lovely Pow-Pow?”

“I say: “Off with your head!”

He’s intent on “fixing you” or at least encouraging a ‘better you’

And it's all because he’s grateful

When he was so used to keeping within the lines his mother had placed for him 

You made him happy with that spontaneity you just seemed to have

Now it was his turn

His turn to bring the order that you needed 

You needed him 

not anyone else

He’d sooner let your old habits return than let some plebian steal you away

“Fine I will let you use one of your…toys but I have a target for you. And if you do that successfully I can allow some lee way in your desserts.”

Kalim Al Asim

“Wow your exciting as always, (Y/n)!”

Leave it to you to be matched or even outdone by the prince’s optimism

He’s so enthusiastic about you

there's no reason you wouldn’t agree to date him

“I’m so excited! Now you can stay here forever with me!”

“Hehehe, Kalim I can’t wait either! Now I can show you all the cool gadgets I build and you can help me try them!”

“Yeah!” 

Even with the more violent results, he’s still cheering you on

Something that surprises many 

But should you try to expand your circle or become more adept at speaking to others

Something begins to snap

Slowly but surely the prince is making sure he’s your only close confidant

And at the end of the day, you’ll come to him for cuddles

Just as heplanned always wants

“Haha did you miss me today, (Y/n)? Because I missed you!”

[cluelessmoose]

How about All Downhill from Here?

All Downhill from Here-

Four centric~ He experiences fun(damentally miserable) times with snowy hills

---------------------------

“-ur! Four you have to move-”

Wild’s voice pierced louder than all the rest, a scream shrill enough to slice through the snowstorm and jab the words like knives into Four’s throbbing skull. “SHIELD! GET ON A SHIELD!” 

Four -GreenRedamuddyblurofthemall- gasped, tumbling helplessly, every weakening grab for the shield knocked askew as the ringing in his ears grew louder. Something struck his head, sending the world whiting out, and his body jolted, tugged about, a senseless cacophony of roaring snow and metallic buzzing and his own panting breaths, echoing oddly. His skin tingled in the freezing air, head lolling as the roar quietened and the ambient sounds became slowly clearer, a soft keen escaping his lips as everything tipped and the dizziness returned. 

Then, through the loud, jumbled confusion of the Colors, a voice came into focus, speaking quickly and quietly. “-okay, I got you, Four. We’re going to be alright.” That was… Twilight, he slowly parsed, groaning as they lurched and his head lolled where it was drooped bonelessly over… an arm, the hands clutching him to Twi’s chest tightening.

“Don’t move, Four, I’m not- holy shit that was close- as ahaha-” and that sounded a little unhinged Blue-Vio-urk noted blearily “-good at this as Wild is,” Twilight rambled, something very nervous and very strained in his voice, the sound of grinding continuing. Four’s ear flicked at the annoying sound, the motion lost in the cold shuddering of his frame, wind nipping relentlessly through his thin clothes. 

“Cn’t st-stop shivering,” Four managed quietly, all too happy not to move otherwise as everything spun and spun and spun-

‘-our? Four?” Twilight sounded distinctly panicked now, and the taller hero shook him slightly, drawing a weak moan as the jostling kept him from the quiet, dark stillness. “Sorry, sorry, but no, no Four open your eyes, tell me what you see,” Twilight coaxed, as if Four couldn’t, even in his current state, pick out the rampant worry in his voice. 

‘S dark,” he murmured wearily, head lolling back and forth as they… swerved?. “Colors… bleeding ‘tghtr.” 

“You’re bleeding?” Twi’s voice sharpened, commanding now. “Four, no, open your eyes!” 

He- oh, yes, hm. Four slitted his eyes open, giving a soft hum at the just… whiteness there. A slow blink did nothing but add further pale shades. “S white,” he slurred, unimpressed. Twilight spoke again, too quickly this time for Four to understand the words as anything more than a lilting rise and fall of tonality, and he continued to stare as their surroundings became clearer, exposing a strange, alien landscape. Great icy pillars held aloft a sheet of frozen snow far above, the pale sky and growing blizzard visible through holes in the roof, openings marked by the thick fall of snowflakes whirling wildly beneath them. There was visibility down here, even if everything was white on pale on ice glazed stone. 

They were moving fast, and Twi wasn’t running-

“What- wait, what?” Four twitched, head twisting, only for Twilight to clutch him tighter as they both wobbled on the shield he was surfing down with Four in his arms holy shit-

He immediately grasped Twi’s shirt, curling in tighter, adrenaline spiking as pillars flashed past that would very much kill or maim them if they crashed, and then the word avalanche filtered through the panic and color-ridden whirl of his thoughts and that was even worse-

It had a very different feel to it then when Wild had first shown them down a gentle grassy slope, Four thought hysterically. Between the hiss of the shield on the ice and his own wavering hearing it was impossible to tell if the rumbling roar was only echoing off the snowy bilayer or if it was right behind them or if it was only his body trying to pass out once more. He was too afraid to crane around for fear he’d unbalance Twilight, who thankfully seemed to be better at out-shield surfing an avalanche down an icy obstacle ridden slope than Four certainly would have been. 

He’s pretty sure he’d be hylian mush somewhere back under the avalanche, actually. 

But Four was very used to ignoring reminders of his own mortality, and it was all too easy to let the fear slip away into the gentle fog permeating his mind, the Colors still a water-whorled blur within him even after a few faints, thoughts slippery and sluggish as molasses. “Okay,” he whispered shakily, lifting his heavy-weighted head and tucking it into Twi’s chest, light-headed and sick. He could trust the Ranchhand to keep them both alive, no matter how it itched that he was so useless. 

“I’ve got you, Smithy. I think we’re good, but I’m gonna keep going just to be safe-”

Four listened to Twi’s rambling assurances, shivering viciously with no way to get anything warmer on. Then all at once they passed under open sky once more, blinded by the snowstorm as the icy cover was left behind, any trace of the avalanche’s thundering lost all at once to the screaming wind. Four couldn’t see anything but white before he shielded his face in Twi’s shirt but the shield was still zipping along, spinning them once more as the ground dipped, his head going light as the inertia sent his equilibrium wobbling. 

The shield rocked violently beneath them, Twilight tensing up and leaning hard to stay atop it but next moment there was a slight jolt and a yelped curse. 

A distinct sense of being airborne, Twi curling around him. 

They hit rock hard ice and skidded along it, rolling and being ripped apart from one another, and then- free fall once more, Four’s lungs too frozen for a proper scream, and-

-------------------------

It was cold. Four’s body was all but convulsing as shudders wracked its freezing form, pulling him back to consciousness. He let out a soft sound of pain, so cold it hurt, trying to draw up the memory of what had happened- a portal, then… a landslide? No, Vio pushed, Blue-muddled and blearily pissed, an avalanche, and Twi had managed to shield surf them down the mountain and then… 

And then crashed? Gone over a ledge? Something sudden, Four knew that much, but the whole unbelievable scene was almost dreamlike, all a pale, confused blur. 

There was a whirl of panic in his mind, a sluggish consensus that he should really, really change into something warmer now. He unfurled in the snow slowly, getting a general bruised feedback from his body but too bitterly cold for anything more specific. He dragged his bag open with his teeth, layering the winter clothes over his tunic and leggings, pulling on a hat and gritting his teeth as he tugged off the pegasus boots to replace them with another layer of woolen socks and proper winter boots- gloves topped off the whole set, precautionary gear they’d all taken to carrying considering how seasons swapped between worlds. 

He couldn’t remember whose idea that had been, but he owed them a hug after all this was over with. 

Feeling warmer already, Four huddled into his knees once more, still shivering and sick from the portal, head spinning and thoughts a mess as the Colors tried to settle back in from the blender that was cross-dimensional travel. Then all at once the background wrongness finally focused in on the reason his sluggish mind had been grasping after since he’d woken up still in his light clothes, alone. 

Where was Twilight?

He dragged his head up to scope around, trying to force his fogged brain to work properly. All Four could currently make out was some rocks nearby and what looked to be a tundra, going by the plants poking through the snow and how flat it was past view. Still, he patted and kicked around him, just in case, heart sticking worriedly in his throat as no Twilight showed up in the heavy, wet snow nearby. Four squinted around, trying to gauge where he’d come from and where Twilight could have landed, getting up and wading determinedly through the deep snow at the foot of the cliff he’d fallen off towards what he thought to be farther uphill where they’d been separated while falling. He was a hair wobbly, the path behind him marked with multiplied body prints in the snow where he’d toppled over, and… 

Oh, damn.

Four looked around, hugging himself for warmth, absolutely lost for where he was in relation to where he’d woken in the snow and with no idea when he’d managed to get onto the tundra. He thought, maybe, those were boulders through the pale wreath of whirling snow, and was staggering his way over in hopes of finding the foothills again when he heard it-a howl, barely discernible from the wind, lilting through the air. It must be close, with how clear it was despite the snowfall was muffling things, and Four tried to call back, heart leaping at the thought of Twilight, of help when he so needed it, of Wolfie and any additional warmth. His voice broke in the cold, though, and he whistled instead, shrill and tremulous. There was another call, longer, and Four answered back, waiting. A few minutes passed before Twilight called out again for a pinpointing whistle, then-

Nothing. Four whistled again, gasping desperately as he stood uselessly watching the snow whirl around him, leaning on the rock to remain upright. His head was spinning again from overexerting himself while still suffering from the damned portal, balance completely shot, grappling for Red’s optimism instead of Vio’s knowledge of hypothermia and only running himself in whirling circles as he tried and failed to struggle through the baseless confusion miring his thoughts. A plan, he needed a plan, but trying to look at the facts was useless when they were meaningless to him right now, and Four was left standing helplessly, knowing he was rather screwed and utterly unable to wrangle himself together enough to figure out what to do about it but stand there, lost enough to feel tears burning behind his eyes. 

He had to find Twilight, who must have been injured to not have come to him right away, who could be passed out right now by his silence. He had to… do something, anything but get more lost or just sit and wait when Twi could need help. There was nothing wrong with him but his own brain being stupid and slow and useless, and he couldn’t wait for it to clear on its own like he usually did after the accursed portals messed badly with him. 

It… wasn’t the first time Four had been helplessly furious at his unlucky incompatibility with their only means of moving between worlds. 

He hauled himself up, driving forwards and whistling again desperately, determined to push his body until it gave out rather than sit and wait. He could rest when he passed out.   

But then, not too long before it would have come to that, a familiar silhouette blurred into view against all the white, head low and searching, trotting through the snow. Four shouted, waving his arms as he fell forward, scrambling for Wolfie. “Twilight! Over here!” Ears perked his way, the snow clumped figure running for him, a bark just legible through the storm. Four laughed, falling to his knees and then forward onto his hands, all but sobbing with relief, feeling about ready to faint now that the panic that had been all that was keeping his portal-wracked body up and moving was draining all at once for weak-limbed relief. 

There was an unhappy growl, and Four tried and failed to drag his head up, just this close to collapsing. “I’ll be alright, I jusneedamomen’-”

A too tight grip on his shoulder, padded by his coat, hauling him forward and onto his knees in a harsh tug that snapped him back to dizzying awareness. “Hey,” he protested weakly, flailing his arms out to shove Twi away, vision refusing to focus past a blur. “‘M not doing so hot, gimme a min…”

He blinked heavily, not quite putting together why Wolfie’s eyes were gold or where the markings had gone on fur that was a washed out gray, not the mossy slate he’d expected- 

The biting grip on his shoulder suddenly clamped down, teeth piercing skin and bones sending warning signs as the pressure grew to crushing levels, Four shrieking and flailing blindly in startled agony, still not understanding why Twi would- 

Wolfie shook him viciously, and at some point between the first and third head rattling snap of his body Four lost his tenuous grip on consciousness, still grasping for an answer.

[hannahssimblr]

I’m pretty sure I’ll throw up, it’s not a matter of if, but when. I sit shivering and grey faced in the boys changing room at nine o’clock, Friday morning and wish I was dead. Actually, I’ve wished I was dead rather consistently for the duration of the morning, from the moment I woke up at seven after maybe two hours of sleep, while preparing my sister’s breakfast, while showering, dressing myself in my horrible uniform and for the whole seafront walk to the school gates, where I kept imagining cars swerving over the cycle path and mercifully mowing me down. 

“Jude, man, what time you get home at last night?” Fitzy is in my ear, “I’m so hungover, man, my head is bloody pounding.”

“Dunno,” I reply, “Not long after you I’d say,” through the aura of my vicious migraine I peer at my phone screen where one new message notification blinks at me. 

Jude, darling. Just thinking of you after our call. I hope you’re doing okay. I know I shouldn’t be worried but if you want to talk again tomorrow I am available. Lots of love & miss you every day. xoxox Maureen. 

Jesus Christ. Did I call Aunt Maureen last night? I check my call log to see that indeed, I made a long distance call to New Mexico at four in the morning. A seven minute call. A groan of despair escapes me. I have no recollection. What did I say to her? Something unhinged enough to warrant this anxious text message, whatever it was. I bet I was an incoherent, embarrassing mess. 

Sorry Maureen, it’s all good. I was just a bit homesick. We should catch up properly at the weekend if you’re free. No need to worry. X J

It’s a cruel thing, P.E first thing on a Friday morning, but Mr. Doherty, a likely sadist, seems to love it. This is the same man who scheduled an African drumming workshop the day after our junior cert results came out, knowing full well what he would be inflicting upon a classroom full of hungover sixteen year olds. 

He’s got a basketball in his hands today, bouncing it around the gym floor with his legs spread out about a metre apart. I don’t know why he stands like that, though I suspect perhaps it's a part of his lifelong quest to become the world's most intimidating man and take up the maximum amount of space possible. I made up a story about seeing him on a public bus seat with his legs at a 180 degree angle once, and I still hear it repeated sometimes as though it's fact.

He’s going on about teams, explaining something involving those smelly polyester bibs that nobody has washed since 1972, but I am distracted by the sunlight from the windows edging the ceiling and the way that is so unmanageably bright. Doherty pulls the first of the neon bibs out of the bucket and the sight of it, the colour, the sweat stains around the armpits, makes my stomach lurch. 

“Bib, Turner,” he barks as he throws it at me and I catch it, along with a whiff of stale sweat and Jurassic era skin cells and I drop it right onto the floor, guts churning as I race to the toilets and retch and puke, fallen to my knees inside the filthy stall until there’s nothing left inside me. 

“Classic Jude,” someone is saying when they all filter into the changing rooms afterwards while I still clutch the bowl. I must be here forty minutes now. “Always throwing up.” 

“Y’alright?” Someone else calls out, and I groan. “Well Doherty wants you when you’re done. He’s waiting in the gym.”

“Fuck sake,” I fist my hair in my hands and considering knocking myself out and getting the nurse to send me home.

It’s another few minutes until I trust myself to exit the bathroom, and then, like a shell of a boy, I trudge out to the gym on rubber legs to where Doherty waits beneath a basketball hoop. 

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while,” He begins, his voice echoing through the rafters.

“Uh huh,”

“It’s Friday. Jude. It’s a school day. How is it that you think you can show up to class in this state?”

“Dunno, sir.”

“I know that you’re a smart boy, right? You know better than this. So when you’re at school, that means you come prepared, well rested, homework done, and in a decent, respectable state, do you understand? You can’t be off doing whatever you like with your evenings, especially if you’re going to show up to my class like this. I shouldn’t even have to explain this to you.”

“Yes sir.”

“This is an insult to me, do you hear what I’m saying? You think because it’s P.E on Friday that you can rip the piss? That you don’t have to take it as seriously as other classes?”

“No, Sir.”

“You’re the same at my Rugby practises too these days, you’ve gone all soft and unfit on me. Is this why? Are you out galavanting every night of the week?”

I hesitate, “Some.”

“Is the boom back already? Sex drugs and rock n roll and whatnot.”

“I dunno what any of those things are.”

“Oh, give me a bloody break. You think I was born yesterday? I could smell your type a mile away, and this is my last straw. I want to see you in detention today from four to five.”

I leap to attention, “Wait, no, sir, I can’t do detention.”

“Seriously, Turner? Are you joking me right now?” “Yes, no, honestly sir. I have an agreement with the school. I don’t have to do detention on Fridays, ask the vice principal, I have-”

“Well that’s the biggest load of bollox I ever heard, do you know that? Special agreement,” he scoffs, “Yeah, pull the other one.”

“I’ll do it Monday, I promise, I just can’t tonight.”

“You’re heading out again, is it? More partying? More drinking and acting the mick? I don’t think so. Detention at four.”

“But sir, I-”

“Don’t talk to me. Decision is final, and if you’re not there, consider yourself suspended.” 

I pace the yard at lunchtime waiting for a call to connect. 

“Hello?” 

“Oh, Trisha, hi, it’s Jude Turner, um, Ivy’s brother?”

“Oh Jude, sweetheart, how are you keeping?”

“Good, yeah, uh, just wondering, are you picking her up from school today?”

“As usual… unless something has changed? She and Ella were planning to work on some sort of group project for school, but if you want to come and get her earlier…”

“No, this is about her piano lesson.”

“Yes, I expect I’ll drop her off at four as I always do…”

“Right, yes, is there any chance that maybe you could collect her too? Just for this week.”

She hisses through her teeth, “Ahh, well you know that we have swimming lessons Fridays at five, we’ll have to be straight on the road… is there going to be a problem collecting her?”

“Um, no, just school stuff, there’s a chance I’ll be delayed.”

“What about your mum, sweetie?” 

“She works until six usually,” there’s dead air on the line and I quickly babble on to fill the silence, “But I’m sure if I tell her what’s happening she’ll leave early, never mind anyway Trisha, I just thought I’d ask.”

“Alright! Sorry about that, love, I’m sure your mum will get it sorted.”

“Yeah. Same. Bye,” I put my phone back into my trouser pocket. No point even trying mom’s phone. She never answers and if she did she wouldn’t help.

The bell rings for the end of lunch. 

Beginning // Prev // Next

[dollsque]

Hi hi!

I read your fanfics and I’m in love!!

And when I realised that your requests are open?!! I was just jumping because I knew I had to request something

Could you please write Hobie brown x fem!guitarist!reader??

So basicalllyyy

Hobie is chilling in a pub just enjoying his time and bla bla, when a band starts to play on the stage

Usually, he wouldn’t mind, but that night??

He noticed that his band mates would look at the stage quite often, so he decided to look as well. And when he saw reader, just playing like it was breathing for her, he lost it!!!

He was just so shocked that R could make guitar look so easy, yet make it sound so majestic

Hobies band mates would snicker and laugh at his reaction

Then, after the performance, R decided to go and order a drink or smt. So she just casually goes over to the bar. Nothing special, right? WRONG!! Hobie is LOST! He can’t look away, he thinks that everything R does is just captivating.

And yeahhh

They have a conversation and it’s just super cute (maybe while R waits for her drink, the bartender tries to flirt with her and Hobie gets jealous?? You can leave that part out if you want to;) )

Yeahh

(Hobie is just a tongue-tied mess but R thinks it’s adorable and she kinda has Hobies’ normal attitude)

Yup!! Thank you in advance!!

Take care and please hydrate!! (I have a big issue with that lol)

-🎀 (can I claim this ribbon? So you just know that it’s me in the future)

So yeah!! Thank you a lot!!

💜 ➷ ₊• ☆ ˚˳ — 𝐂𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐕𝐓𝐄𝐃 — ₊• ☆ ˚˳

𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆!! sorry for taking so long! school is starting soon and i’ve been busy anxiously watching as the first day gets closer and making the most of the last couple weeks i have left!and you may claim the ribbon! i named the bandmates to make things easier if you don’t mind <3 thank you 🎀 anon!

➷ ₊• ☆ ˚˳ — 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2k

➷ ₊• ☆ ˚˳ — 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: hobie brown x !fem!guitarist!reader (fluff) ☆

➷ ₊• ☆ ˚˳ — 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: the fanart is by @/aspen.aspid! i just added the filter, lol. you can find her carrd in her tiktok bio. please check it out <3 will involve drinking and cursing (obviously, but y’know), no description of y/n, i’m not familiar with drinks so i will not be specifying what reader or hobie and his bandmates get LMAO, i gave the bandmates names from the comics.

➷ ₊• ☆ ˚˳ — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 <𝟑

➷ ₊• ☆ ˚˳ — HOBIE AND HIS BANDMATES enter the pub and the music is roaring throughout the place, the drums vibrating through their chest as they walk. There is purple and blue lighting, instantly setting the mood, there are large speakers, and the vibe is overall really cool so far.

This is the first time they’ve come to this bar. They were recommended this bar by a friend and they wanted to check it out. Sitting at the bar, they see a large display of a variety of drinks displayed, there is a menu for bar snacks, sandwiches, and desserts.

They like it so far and are chatting it up, talking about their upcoming songs, their instruments, how they’ve been doing, when next practices, and random, unhinged conversations that they don’t even know the cause of. They DO know, however, that it started with Hobie saying some wild shit.

Then, when they got the stuff they ordered, which were drinks and some sandwiches, the current topic came to a halt and they started looking back before continuing the conversation, then back again, and back to the conversation. Hobie hadn’t been paying much attention to the band, but now he was curious about what got them to keep the conversation going on and off. Looking behind him, he finally understands what they’re so captivated with.

How could they all not be captivated?

You are currently shredding the guitar like there’s no tomorrow, keeping up with the drums in perfect sync and accentuating the singer’s powerful vocals and the bassist’s support. To them, you are the highlight of the song that you and your band are currently playing.

The smoke acting like a stage effect covers some parts of you for a few seconds, but when the smoke finally parts fully to reveal your entire self, he finds himself more than captivated. The way your fingers dance at an incredible speed on the strings to switch notes and the way the guitar pick so confidently strummed the guitar, he finds himself questioning how the guitar pick is still in your hand. However, from guitarist to guitarist, he knows that you have an iron grip on that pick. He just can’t stop staring at you.

Your hair, your eyes, your clothes, just…everything.

“Holy shit, mate, she’s got you mesmerized doesn’t she?” One of his bandmates, Karl smirks, nudging him with his elbow as the others snicker next to him.

“Can’t take his eyes off her,” Riri snickers, taking a sip of her drink.

“Oh, come out of it. You guys are looking at her too!” Hobie points out in defense, finally looking away, though reluctantly.

“We stopped looking a while ago, mate. It’s been three minutes since we last looked. You were staring at her for the last minute of the last song and for two minutes of the current song that’s playin’.” Robbie told him. He gave him a playful flick on the side of his head, causing Hobie to scowl at him. “I think you’re the one that needs to come off it the most. You’re fucking LOST in her dude.”

“How long you guys think she’s been playing the guitar?” Mattea questioned, shifting the teasing off Hobie…for now.

“Hell, long enough to do all that. And here I thought there was no one better than me,” Hobie scoffed in awe.

“You thought wrong even BEFORE we saw her,” Robbie quipped, earning a loud laugh from Mattea and causing Riri to snicker as she tried drinking more of her drink, making it bubble.

“Oh, fuck off, you asshole.” Hobie scoffed, but there was a small smirk on his face. And just like that, they’re back to teasing poor (literally) Hobie.

He already finds himself lost in her again, but he’s interrupted much earlier this time. He doesn’t even know what the other members look like. Don’t get him wrong, your bandmates are just as incredible and powerful as you, but they are goddamn.

“Hey, Lover Boy, what are you gonna say when she comes over here for a drink?” Mattea asked.

“What?” Hobie questions a little too quickly. “I highly doubt she’ll come over for a drink. By the time they’re all done playing, the pub will be closed.”

“It just turned 8 PM, Hobs. I don’t think they’ll be playing for the next three hours.”

As if on cue: “THANK YOU ALL FOR LISTENING US PLAY OUR NEW SONGS!” Your band member proudly and gratefully yelled into the microphone, causing everyone in the pub to cheer. “We play here regularly, and ever since we first started, you guys have always been very supportive, so thank you. Have a great night!”

Regularly? Shit, this might be Hobie’s new regular pub, and no, his bandmates don’t get a say in it.

Wait.

“Hey, Lover Boy, what are you gonna say when she comes over here for a drink?” That question Mattea asked earlier was now invading his brain. He immediately starts thinking of things to say, but he suddenly feels his senses go off, and it’s NOT from danger.

He turns around to face where you’re supposedly standing nervously. “Oh, Hello,” he greeted politely, trying to keep a straight smile on. You were there in all your greatness, your electric guitar slug over your shoulder. Holy shit, Robbie’s right. He’s so fucking lost in you.

“Hi! Is anyone sitting next to you?”

Nothing.

“Hello?” You called out as his bandmates discreetly snickered.

“Oh, no, nobody’s sitting there. Shit, sorry,” he apologized, twirling his glass in a more fiddling matter.

You giggle at him and sit down on the stool next to him, not oblivious to his obvious nervousness and interest in you.

Hobie glanced back at his bandmates, and they only looked back with a slight smirk before conversing within themselves, leaving Hobie out of it.

Now he has to talk to you if he doesn’t want to look like some lonely loser. They’re smart for that; he can’t lie.

“So, you were very good up there. You play the electric guitar like there’s no fucking tomorrow. I like that. How long have you been playing? Many years, I reckon?” He asked, putting his glass down and resting his head in his hand.

You mirror his position. “Oh yeah, a hell ton of fucking years went to that, but thanks.” You smirked proudly. “How ‘bout you? You playin’ tonight?”

“Me? Oh, no. I just like to take it with me everywhere. It really adds to my outfit, y’know?” He answered with a smile, though it looked absolutely lovesick. “My friends over there, we uh, play here and there at a different pub not too far from here.”

“Really? I might have to check it out then. Maybe just for you,” you answered with that captivating smile Hobie loves so much.

He’s so lost. He cleared his throat. “I can’t wait to see you there and I can show you my playing, and stuff. My band’s great too, y’know, but uh—”

“I’m sure they are, but I’m still going there to hear you play if I won’t make you nervous and mess you up.”

Damn, she’s good at this. Hobie laughs and turns to drink a bit from his glass in a pathetic way to hide his face and that lovesick smile he had on his face. So damn lovesick. He doesn’t even know your name yet. Hell, he’s barely seen you for an hour. But damn it if an hour isn’t enough to fall in love with you.

“Hey, pretty girl,” the bartender greeted you with a wink, causing Hobie’s lovesick face to transition into a judgemental look. Pretty girl? “Anything I can get you today?”

“Can I get that drink over there and the ground beef sub?” You asked, pointing to that specific drink you want.

“Of course, anything for you. Hey, seriously, I meant it when I called you pretty,” the bartender smiled as he started making her sub.

“Yeah, she’s bloody gorgeous,” Hobie agreed, mainly out of spite. He still agreed, though. You were bloody gorgeous. “The most gorgeous girl here.”

That gave you butterflies. It’s like he flipped a switch; as if that small nickname the bartender gave you immediately caused him to go into defense mode.

Jealousy mode.

“Why thank you, you guys, but I like it coming from him more.” You smirk at the bartender, nodding your head towards Hobie, who now switches back to his initial consciousness. “I’m with him tonight.”

“Maybe you should make that more…nights? If you want to of course, but, y’know, just tonight? Really? I mean, are you sure you don’t want more? I mean, I would want to make it more than just tonight.”

He’s so adorable. Awkward too, but that just makes him more adorable. The bartender sighs disappointedly but raises his hands in both acceptance of defeat and a little bit of respect.

“We’ll definitely make it so it’s not just for tonight. You should come here tomorrow with your band. I’ll be looking forward to you,” you wink slyly.

“Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. We’ll be here. Right, um, what’s your name? Mine’s Hobie. Hobie Brown,” he greeted, awkwardly holding a hand out for you to shake.

You giggled at the gesture and shook his hand. “Y/N, nice to meet you. And you have a cute name? I like that.”

“Oh! Thank you! You have a very nice name too. I’ll remember it for when I come to see you tomorrow.” He smiled. Oh, if only she knew that his name was actually Hobart.

Thanks, Mom. He almost rolls his eyes at the thought. He can already hear his bandmates snickering even more than before, and he has half a mind to tell them to shut the fuck up.

“So, if we’re gonna be hanging out more than just tonight, we should have each other’s number, yeah? I’ll even tell you the next time our band plays at the other pub. Address and everything, of course. Maybe a backstage pass included for a little private meet and greet where we can really get to know each other,” Hobie smirked. The smoothest thing he’s said all night. There’s his confidence coming back. Slowly, but surely.

Now that you didn’t expect. You let out a chuckle and take a sip of your drink. “What happened to the adorable, tongue-tied boy I was just talking to?”

“We all gotta start somewhere,” he smirked, now drinking the rest of his drink that was left in his glass. “So, tomorrow?”

“Leaving so soon?”

“You want me to stay?”

“I need you to stay. Who else will keep me company?”

“Shit, we still got two hours and fifty minutes,” he smirked.

“Hm. Still need that number though,” you teased, poking his shoulder playfully. You internally squeal when he starts writing down his number on a small piece of paper. Hobie internally celebrates as he writes his number.

He slides the paper towards you, and you gladly pocket it.

“And yes, tomorrow. It’s a date,” you smile. Your heart flutters from the contact your knees make from facing each other on the stools. He doesn’t pull his leg away, and neither do you. You two like it that way.

It’s only the beginning of your night.

➷ ₊• ☆ ˚˳ — “WHAT I WOULD GIVE for someone to look at me the way Hobie looks at that girl.”

Riri sighs, stirring her drink with her straw as she glances at the two of them.

“Right? The fucker’s in love. Hell, he looks ready to propose right there and there.” Karl scoffed lightheartedly.

“Woah, slow down there. They’ve barely been talking for ten minutes,” Robbie snickered.

“Enough with the snickering!” They heard from their electric guitarist. It seemed as if you had gone to use the bathroom because your bandmates were still there. They didn’t seem oblivious to the fact that she was talking to Hobie, either.

“Our bad, our bad,” Matteas apologized. “…backstage pass, huh?”

“Shut up!” He yelled, slapping her with one of the pub’s newspapers while it was still rolled up. His bandmates all just snickered more.

What a pain in the ass. Yet, he couldn't help but smile proudly at himself.

© 2024 dollsque - all rights reserved; do not copy my works, repost my content, edit my works, or translate my works on tumblr or anywhere else. it is strictly forbidden. oh, and no AI shit with my works, please.

[uptightcitizensbrigade]

About All Born Screaming

“All Born Screaming”

There is a figure staggering down the street, lurching through a skewed landscape toward a grim new beginning. Rabid, man-sized; disconsolate and grieving in the violent daylight, the smell of death alive on her clothes. No mask, no costume. In fact—though try not to stare—her office wear is somewhat askew. Even her language is ruptured: what was once tightly refined is now impressionistic and felt. No wonder: “I find myself at the precipice of life and death, and reckoning with that,” says Annie Clark, the musician better known as triple-Grammy-winning iconoclast St. Vincent, on the cusp of releasing her seventh album.

Ever since she covered Big Black’s “Kerosene” live in 2011 and the subsequent cataclysmic 7” split “Krokodil”/”Grot,” fans have known that some evil lurked in Clark’s guitar. (Take it back even further if you like: This is someone whose college noise band was named Skull Fuckers.) On All Born Screaming—the first half, at any rate—that lacerating aggression possesses a St. Vincent album for the first time, unleashing a reeling thrash laced with the formative DNA of Albini at his most corrosive and the ugly, spectacular catharsis of Nine Inch Nails, and opening up a brand new fracture in her songwriting. “It’s my least funny record,” says Clark with knowing wryness.

Brawny lead single “Broken Man” is unhinged by loss and lust, unveiling our debilitated antagonist in a desperate confrontation that begs “lover nail yourself right to me / If you go I won’t be well / I can hold my arms right open / But I need you to drive the nail.” “Reckless” loses its footing in the post-loss oblivion. The mischievous “Flea” casts all-consuming desire as an invasive pestilence. “Big Time Nothing” is a mordant catwalk sashay through the deafening assault of self loathing. “There is the feeling: I want everything because I feel nothing,” says Clark. “I am bereft. I am in love. But I want more love too. There’s no drugs and abstraction on this record. It’s cut to the pink meat, hungry for life, even if it’s brutal. Because life is brutal.”

For that reason, All Born Screaming is Clark’s first entirely self-produced record (having co-produced all of her previous records). “I had to walk through the fire with this one alone,” she says. “There was no way to find it except sitting with yourself in a room, singing, playing with modular synths, turning knobs, moving electricity around and trying to find those six seconds of lightning in a bottle that I could build an entire song around. I’m obsessed with production. I’ve obviously done it on all of my records, but this time, I wanted to be the first and final filter for this material. It meant sitting with a lot of self-doubt—like Bowie says, ‘when you feel that your feet aren’t quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting.’”

Production 101 is knowing the right people for the job, and All Born Screaming boasts “a tight little wrecking crew,” says Clark. “A curated group of rippers.” On “Broken Man” and ��Flea,” that’s Dave Grohl on drums. (If we’re tracing this virulent seam back through Clark’s work, recall the surviving members of Nirvana inviting her to help induct the band into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2014.) “Dave is one of the greatest drummers ever because he’s a great songwriter,” says Clark, noting that Grohl heard the “Yes-style prog section” of “Flea” just three times before he knew “every phase and turnaround. My engineer, Cian Riordan, has a video of me in the studio when Dave was playing. I’m in my chair hearing the first take, and I immediately stand up and, like, my hair is on fire.”

On the immaculately restrained, Portishead-narcotic opener “Hell Is Near” and the dreamily gone “So Many Planets,” that’s new Foo Fighters drummer Josh Freese. There’s Justin Meldal-Johnsen (bass), Rachel Eckroth (keys), David Ralicke (brass), Mark Giuliana (drums), and Stella Mozgawa (drums). Then there’s the invaluable contribution of Welsh creative genius Cate Le Bon, who yanked Clark out of the weeds during a period of frustration and self-doubt, and offered stalwart reinforcement, helping her to surmount a few key obstacles. Case in point: Cate shines on the title track, "All Born Screaming,” a near-seven-minute epic closer propelled by a bassline so perfectly suited that it’s impossible to imagine the song without it. "I had that guitar part but was struggling with the song's overall tone.  Cate listened to it and said ‘Give me a beer, a bass, and three hours’,” and worked out the title track’s puckish low end. “She’s my favorite modern songwriter, period,” says Clark, hinting at future collaborations to come.

As for the life and death we’re dealing with here? The details are immaterial. This isn’t music-as-true-crime designed to be picked apart for clues. On the album’s pivot into the second half, “Violent Times,” we’re waking up and understanding the stakes have irrevocably changed, and who hasn’t felt that these past however many years? The difference, in the album’s back end, is the realization that we must love one another or die, set to an expansive, enveloping palette that steps back from the guitar offensive: Gainsbourg-worthy grandeur on “Violent Times,” the “what if someone who loved 2 TONE did it all wrong?” of “So Many Planets,” about the stumbling search for a place to call home. “The first half is reckoning with loss and how life is basically impossible,” says Clark, “but the second half is: but we get to live it so we better fucking dig in.”

Perhaps compassion and hunger can light the way: “The Power’s Out” is a classically gorgeous St. Vincent portrait of a city’s pushers, parents, racers, and queers waking up to some disaster but finding beauty in the slo-mo confetti cloud of debris. And the racing valediction of “Sweetest Fruit” exalts individuals who attempted to stake out life’s outer reaches. “Take a big swing and fail, but my God, at least you were trying for transcendence,” says Clark.

Perhaps love can, too. The still life of opener “Hell Is Near” marks “the beginning / our beginning / begin again.” “That’s the only reason to do something, the reason to live,” says Clark. “Maybe I go the long way around saying that in this record, but at the end of the day it’s a very dark record about love. I have great love in my life. I’m so lucky. I’m not the rat in the maze in that regard any more.” It comes into focus on the back of priority shifts, shuddering sudden dislocations from the culture’s priorities, old disguises dropping to the floor on the title track’s skittish, happy shrug, “all of the wasted nights fighting mortality when in the ashes of Pompeii lovers discovered in an embrace for all eternity”, as she sings on “Violent Times.”

Unlike the ‘70s cosplay of Clark’s previous album, here, there’s no aestheticizing pain or conceptualizing loss. On Daddy’s Home, Clark says she needed to “become the music my father loved in the hope it would heal me, give me the agency as ‘daddy.’ That was probably largely misinterpreted, but I have no regrets—it’s what I needed to do.” With this record, she says emphatically, “I want to fuck people up.” As the title states, we’re All Born Screaming. It’s both a horrifying condition and whaddya-gonna-do acceptance. “If you’re born screaming, that’s a great sign,” says Clark, “because it means you’re breathing. You’re alive. My god. It’s joyous. And then it’s also a protest. We’re all born in protest in a certain way. It’s terrifying to be alive, it’s ecstatic to be alive. It’s everything.”

[creative-time]

A proper fair well

Well… here we are, I’m actually leaving

I just want to be clear, I love dhmis. The original series, and the pilot, will always have a special place in my heart. I’m still a fan, just not so much of a fan that I would spend like 75% of my life dedicated to a tumblr blog about it anymore.

Maybe it’s just burnout, or the fact that I was so disappointed in the tv series that it finally broke me, or the fact that I started this blog when I was 14 at the beginning of 2016.

I started running this blog when I was 14, and I’m 21 now. For nearly 7 years now. We had some good laughs, I met some people that would change my life, for better or worse. And I could have never imagined that I would gather so many people together like this.

And I really hate to sound ungrateful, but, it still kinda makes me a little sad when people say I’m the dhmis news guy, because this blog was always supposed to be more than that. It was supposed to be ALL of the dhmis fandom. All the art, all the memes, all the conversations. This blog was about you guys! The people who made this fandom even possible! The people who built it from nothing, for everyone now to enjoy. I loved sharing news, but I loved sharing your, and my, creations even more…

I guess being considered the “dhmis news guy” just kinda made me think that I was easily replaceable in the fandom, like… if one day I stopped, someone else would just fill the hole that I was in super easily and no one would really notice I was gone.

I think a lot of people forget that… I’m a person… Creative-Time IS a person… I was a person this whole time… making sure this blog didn’t turn to dust and constantly being ridiculed, mocked, or straight up harassed and sent death threats to the point were I would sometimes cry myself to sleep. But I realized that all that just wasn’t worth the energy, this wasn’t worth the energy.

There’s probably so much more I could say here… I just wouldn’t know where to start. And maybe I’m saying all this super wrong and someone is gonna look through it with a fine-tooth comb and tell everyone that I hate them and tell everyone I’m a horrible person, which perhaps I deserve.

I would like to thank all the people that have actually tried to get to know me, I’m sure you know who you are. You all made running this blog a little bit more happier for me, and I hope you all are happy too, even if we never cross paths again.

I think the only thing that could ever get me back into the fandom and this blog is if there is more dhmis that is actually good, or the pilot get released in HD in some shape or form. Other than that, I think I’m done here…

I won’t be deleting this blog, but I would request no new followers or dms unless it’s the pilot in full hd.

If anyone really wants to ask any follow up questions, please send them to the ask box on my main @cosmicxd but I would like to remind you all, I’m an adult, my friends and mutuals are adults, so if your under the age of 18 I would suggest not following my main because me and my friends are… UNHINGED and we have a whopping ZERO filters. I really don’t want to block any of you but if I know you are a minor and you follow my main anyway, I will not hesitate to block you, so just don’t. thanks I’m advance.

Now, a few things that I should wrap up in a bow.

Here’s what might be the final piece of artwork I do for TeVi and Purple Girl, I will try to make a series to put them in in the future but I want to work on another original series right now so it might not be for a while. So there are not really consider dhmis ocs anymore I guess. Just puppet ocs now

Also, a final update for Mini Mean Steve: Finally found some model magic and Mod Podge glad to say he is finally complete! He will be my most treasured possessions

Thank you for reading all the way through this, and for one final thing

Here a sketch of me kissing icehell Tony and Paige. (Because if im going out, I’m going out with a hell-freezing, earth-shattering BANG!!!)

Thank you all once again, and I’ll see you on the flip side!

-Creative Time

[t-top-apologist]

So here’s the deal. I’ve got a small block. Two barrel carb. Runs like a dream (read: recently upgraded to “doesn’t sound like a asthmatic raccoon rolling down a flight of stairs in a metal trash can” when you start it up). So naturally I want to throw off the entire equilibrium and mess with the fuel system.

Swapping fuel pumps is fine. Adding a metal fuel filter where the plastic one (imagine a water balloon filled with gasoline sitting directly next to the exhaust headers. Now imagine something less safe than that) sits right now is a good idea. Not what I’m going for. I want Hilborn fuel injection.

Just the name “Hilborn fuel injection” harkens back to a time when people put little beer kegs full of fuel on the front of their Chevy 210s—imagine slapping a water balloon full of gasoline on the bumper of the car you’re currently axle hopping nose-first into a concrete barrier—and called corvettes without carburetors “fuelies,” which is surprisingly not an Australian slur for gas station attendants.

Ignore all the talk about mechanical fuel delivery. I don’t own a diesel and therefore leave that sort of thing to the special breed of freak that owns an Alfa Romeo. All you need to know is that the unhinged assemblies of gears and ball valves required to do what God designed the carburetor for are really just a big excuse to run those shiny chromed intake trumpets on a car.

You know when BMW guys talk about ITBs? Has nothing to do with irritable bowels. It’s 100% an excuse to put intake trumpets on the side of their engine. It looks cool, just not as cool as eight of those trumpets strapped to the top of your V8 hate machine. And I want that. Except I’m lazy, and according to the niche forums I visit tuning mechanical fuel injection is as pleasant as sticking your hand in a rusty toaster when done right and will ensure you get your steps in on the walk home when done wrong.

Could I simply buy a $1500 carburetor replacement electronic fuel injection setup that requires five bolts and about as many brain cells to install? Sure. I could also live my life as a productive member of society. That would involve living a lifestyle where I pay someone to tune the MFI for me. Both of these things a blow to my personal reputation as “the local skinflint” and my personal devotion to making things harder for myself. So rather than shell out for vintage MFI setups, I turned to the world of EFI. Surely the modern fanatics for Fratzogs and Rat Fink memorabilia would have made enough ruckus for to spark a Hilborn EFI lookalike.

Unfortunately, as far as I can tell they only built them for big blocks. My little hot rod’s factory small block is doomed never to host those shiny little intake trumpets. Sure I could swap in a big block, but when I sat this one next to my dilapidated street machine I began to consider the fact that this is a lot of effort for a lowly hot rod. At the heart of things I’m just as lazy as I am determined to make things harder for myself, and so I decided I need to find something else to put the big block in.

What was the question again? Oh, what am I going to do with the rolling chassis Lola T70 replica behind me?

[moriihana]

we can't fix each other but we sure as hell can enable each other instead || twelve: the both of you are definitely at least a little unhinged

pairing: dabi x disabled!gn!reader

overview: you meet dabi pre-canon because your cat, nugget, literally won’t leave the guy alone. friendship, fluff and (eventual) angst ensue.

chapter summary: because you were incredibly bored, you tag along with dabi during his little outing with the high-end nomu. the two of you have fun and bicker like an old married couple. the usual.

content: fluff

word count: 2659

taglist: @iincandescenttt

AO3 link

← previous ; next →

“Hey, doll.” Dabi leaned against your bedroom doorframe, crossing his arms. “Got a moment to talk?”

You snorted, shifting Nugget off your lap. “No, can’t you see I’m totally swamped petting my questionably gay cat?” You joked. “‘course I have a moment. Especially since everyone’s off doin’ their own thing right now.”

He stepped in and shut the door, then strode across the room to sit next to you. “Y’know the Wing Hero, Hawks?”

“The one that looks like a playboy and talks so cockily it makes me want to shove barbed wire into my ears? Yeah, I know him. How come?”

“He approached me. Wants to join the League.”

You scoffed, “The number two hero wants to join the League of Villains, huh? Sounds like a load of bullshit.”

“Oh, it gets better, mouse.” Dabi drawled. “Obviously, I was suspicious—I might be insane, but I’m not stupid—so I found out where he lives and sent some thugs to scope out the place. Wanted to see if I could get any information. Lucky for us, his mother was there.” An unhinged grin spread across his face and pulled at his staples, a manic gleam in his eyes. “With a few threats, we were given everything and more.”

You sat up with a look of glee that rivalled Dabi’s. “Oooh, do tell! I love secrets.”

“Gladly.” Dabi looked down as Nugget climbed into his lap, making biscuits on his thigh. “You too, huh, ya lil stink? Makes sense, you nosy shit.” He chuckled at your scowl, “Just kiddin’, doll. Anyways, here’s the deal…”

You let out a hum once Dabi finished talking. “So, let me get this straight. You’re telling me that this abused little boy, who basically idolised Endeavour, was recruited by the HPSC and trained to be… what, a child soldier? After Endeavour arrested his father? And that’s Hawks? Sheesh, wonder how he’s gonna feel when he finds out what a massive shitlord Endeavour really is…” You snorted and straightened, interlocking your fingers and stretching your arms over your head. “Anyways, you’re telling me this now for a reason, right? We agreed that you didn’t need to tell me all of your little villainous escapades that I don’t accompany you on if it’s not anything super important, so I figure something’s come up now?”

“Bingo.” Dabi smirked. “I decided to humour Hawks—information of the ongoings in the HPSC is valuable to us, and since I already know he’s a double-crosser, it’ll be easy to filter our information well enough. He’s in the… initiation period, so to speak. Y’know Ujiko, the fuckin’ weird doctor guy you and I met? He gave me a new toy to play with—a High-End Nomu. The potential is incredible.” His tone took on an excited edge. “I want to send it up against Endeavour as a test.”

“Okay… and this has to do with Hawks… how, exactly? Not followin’ ya here, pretty boy.”

“I told Hawks I would let loose a Nomu at a warehouse by the coast to test its strength against some random hero. Which was initially the plan! But after seeing Hawks interacting with Endeavour this morning during the broadcast of the Hero Billboard Chart, I had a better idea. Why not have it fight Endeavour?”

You laughed, “I like the sound of that. I wanna watch shit go down, can I come with? Please let me come with, it’s so fucking boring around here I need to do something or I’ll die.”

“I wasn’t tellin’ you all this just to leave ya behind, doll. Of course I’m dragging you along. We should probably head out now, so we have plenty of time—Ujiko said he’d use that gross fuckin’ method to get us around, so we can just have him send us to the warehouse.” Dabi brushed off his pants and stood up.

“The one that makes you throw up to warp away? Eugh, it’s so disgusting. I hate that one!” You whined, but got up nonetheless. 

“Yeah, yeah. But without Kurogiri we’ve got no other option. You ready to go?” Once you confirmed, Dabi reached up to his collar and pressed down on the communicator he had fixed into it. “Ujiko, send Y/N and I to the warehouse.”

You immediately made your displeasure known as soon as the black liquid burst out of your mouth and enveloped your body.

Once the warp had finished and you were both in front of the warehouse where the Nomu was stored, you made exaggerated gagging sounds. “I fuckin’ hate that. Why can’t it be more pleasant…” 

“Sorry, doll.” Dabi shrugged, an amused smirk on his face. “You wanted to come with.”

“He should get a better goddamn way to warp…” you grumbled, rubbing the back of your neck with a scowl.

He gave you a pat on the shoulder, then pulled open the door to the warehouse. Dabi shoved his hands in his pockets, walking in slowly with you right behind. “The ones before didn’t really understand, but I expect more this time, High-End.”

The High-End Nomu was in a hunched over position. Its head turned towards the two of you and pupils appeared in its glowing eyes once Dabi spoke. “W-W-Won’t… l-let… won’t let you down…”

“Oh, it can talk?” You tilted your head, leaning to the side slightly. “Is it a High-End thing? Will it follow directions better?”

“Probably. I sure fuckin’ hope so, at least.” Dabi crouched down, resting his elbows on his knees. “You know your job?”

“F-Find… the stron-gest… and attack…” 

“Go on then.” Dabi grinned lopsidedly. He stood back up and watched as the Nomu took off from the warehouse to find Endeavour. He then looked at you. “Didja bring your phone?”

“Mmhm.” You pulled your phone out of your pocket and held it out to him. “Do your thing.”

Dabi hummed and pulled up the news pages for any updates. Once one came through, he tapped on it to watch the live footage of Endeavour fighting the Nomu. “Oh, it’s strong.”

“Looks like it, yeah.” You set your chin on his shoulder as you watched with him. “Bodes well for us, at least. And watching Endeavour get his ass beat is pretty damn satisfying.”

The amusement faded once Endeavour started to actually make a dent in the Nomu. When he used his Prominence Burn move, Dabi swore under his breath. He handed you your phone back, then pressed on the communicator again.

“Ujiko. We need to get closer to Endeavour.”

You groaned a quiet ‘not again,’ but tucked your phone into your back pocket. You glared at Dabi as the black liquid poured out of your mouth and wrapped around your body. Once you were dropped near Endeavour, you lightly shoved him. “Asshole,” you grumbled, pouting.

“You wanted to come.” Dabi simply winked and gave you a lazy smile.

“Startin’ to regret it right about now, pretty boy,” you teased gently. “Let’s go bully an old man, yeah?” You raised an eyebrow when he took your chin in his hand.

“When we get over there, stay by my side, follow my lead. I don’t want you getting hurt, doll. I’m serious. Do you understand?” He only dropped his hand when you gave him a soft ‘yes.’ “Good. C’mon.”

As you made your way out of the alley you were deposited into, Dabi placed his palm on the small of your back. He kept it there until you stopped in front of Endeavour and Hawks, at which point he curled it around your waist.

“Just a minute now,” Dabi drawled. “None of this is how we planned it, but that’s fine.” He gave a menacing smile when the heroes startled. “Well, Endeavour… should I say nice to meet you?”

You grinned and waved from next to him. “We didn’t think you’d be here. You’re really not lookin’ too good there, Number One!” You taunted.

Endeavour’s face contorted in anger as his eyes fixated on Dabi. “It’s you! The one who murdered Snatch!” 

“Sna—? Who?” As Dabi spoke, he tapped your hip twice. You took two steps forward and to the side so he could create a barrier of flames without burning you. “More importantly, let’s chat while we have the chance.”

“Take it easy, I’ll handle them,” Hawks said quickly as Endeavour tried and failed to get up. “I only have my tiny feathers left… but I can at least buy us some time.”

Dabi rolled his eyes and walked forwards. “C’mon, we’re only here to collect the Nomu. There’s no way we could actually win, right? Against the top two dudes, already beat up and bloodied?!” When he finished speaking, a feral grin pulled taut at his staples and he lunged forwards, igniting his forearms. 

You caught sight of something moving in the sky, and immediately reached out towards his back. “Dabi, get back!” You shrieked. 

Dabi extinguished his arms and jumped back beside you just in time to dodge the hero slamming into the ground in front of you. “Thanks, mouse.” 

“Don’t mention it,” you breathed out, relief palpable in your voice. The two of you watched the new arrival carefully, unsure of your next moves.

“I saw the news and came hopping! Endeavour! Hawks! You boys don’t get to have all the fun! And you two—you’re with the League? Your butts’re about to get kicked!” The hero grinned, looking at you. 

Dabi groaned. “Fuckin’ Mirko? Too bad… right when things were heating up, too.” He pressed the communicator. “Ujiko, get us out of here. Bye for now, Mr. Number One Hero. I’m sure we’ll get another chance to talk, but until then…” That feral grin made its way back onto Dabi’s face, this time splitting his skin as he shouted, “Just keep doing your thing and don’t go dying on me, ‘kay, Todoroki Enji?!”

Once you were safely back at the warehouse, you raised your hand to Dabi’s cheek, healing where his skin split. “You got a little too excited there, pretty boy.” Despite your unhappiness with the fact he hurt himself, your scolding was gentle. You shook your head with a fond smile and decided to let him off easy. “Why’d we come back here instead of going home?”

“Sorry, doll.” To his credit, Dabi did sound at least a little apologetic. He then shrugged, leaning against a support beam. “I had Ujiko plop us back here since I figured Hawks would come lookin’ for me after things didn’t go the way I initially said.”

“Ahh, I see. How long d’you think it’ll take the birdbrain to get over here?” You pulled out your phone, waving it. “We could play a game or some shit while we wait.”

“Who fuckin’ knows, so why the hell not. What kinda stupid games you got on here?” Dabi swiped your phone out of your hands, ignoring your brief indignant protest. You grumbled when you realised he wasn’t gonna give it back.

“Asshole…” you huffed, pouting as you rested your chin on his shoulder. “Let’s see… I downloaded that one game where one player holds the phone up to their forehead and has to guess the word as the other players give hints by acting it out—ah, yeah, that one right there! Charades! Toga wanted to play it one night with Twice and I. It wasn’t terrible, if not a little silly. Probably not your style.”

“Definitely not my style, doll,” Dabi snorted. “What else ya got?”

“Hell if I know. Toga’s always the one stealing my phone to download games. I don’t know why you people can’t use your own damn phones.”

“You charge your phone.”

“Well, start charging yours!” You reached around his arm for your phone, whining when Dabi held it out of reach. “Don’t be a brat, it’s not my fault you don’t remember to charge your phone! Gimmie!”

“Sorry, mouse. You’re the one who suggested to play a game,” Dabi drawled, grinning lazily.

“I didn’t think you would just take my phone!” You smacked him lightly on his shoulder, returning to pouting. “Can’t believe I love an overgrown child.”

“You’re the one pouting because you’re not getting your way.”

“I’m pouting because you took my phone and won’t give it back!”

Dabi chuckled and moved beside you, holding out your phone. “Fine, here ya go.”

You stuck your tongue out at him and shoved it into your back pocket. You opened your mouth to respond, but immediately stopped when Hawks walked in. Your grip on your cane tightened.

“None of that was according to plan,” Hawks spoke after he stopped in front of Dabi with an unamused expression.

“That so?” Dabi quipped back, raising an eyebrow.

A feather blade was held up to his neck faster than either of you could blink. You immediately bristled, but Dabi shook his head. “It’s alright, mouse,” he said, keeping his voice steady. You reluctantly settled down, glaring at the hero instead.

“How about some actual cooperation, Dabi?” Hawks narrowed his eyes, disregarding you for the moment.

“Hey, I thought you only had those baby feathers left?” Dabi tilted his head, taunting ever so slightly.

“You think I’d meet with a liar like you unarmed? It was supposed to be tomorrow. And not downtown, but at the factory by the water. You never mentioned bringing your little friend here, either.” Hawks’s expression darkened. “Plus, this Nomu was clearly a cut above the rest. You could’ve mentioned that beforehand.”

“That ‘friend’ is my partner, Y/N. You’d do well to remember their name, or I’ll brand it into you,” Dabi warned, then settled back into his laid back demeanour. “And I guess I just changed my mind. Didn’t I tell you I’d be testing the Nomu’s capabilities? But we’re both a little guilty. I asked you for someone kinda strong, but you brought the top dog himself! It wasn’t that much of a test.”

“I didn’t mean any offence, Dabi. No need to threaten me.” Hawks glanced at you, then turned his attention back to Dabi. “But I thought you’d be thrilled to inflict that kind of pain on him. Besides, you’re the one who broke our agreement.”

Dabi scoffed, “I’m s’posed to believe the number two hero, just like that? This was me testing how much I can trust you. And tell me, why zero casualties today?” He shifted his body sideways away from the blade. “Do you really sympathise with us? You came looking to cooperate, but you sure don’t act like it.”

You watched as Hawks’s face contorted in irritation, amusement bubbling up at his frustration.

“I gotta keep up appearances. A hero can’t go losing the public’s trust. The more faith they have in me, the juicer the intel I can get. That’s to your advantage. Try taking the long view here.” He lowered his blade as Dabi walked around him. “What I do, I do for the League’s sake, Dabi.”

“Fine… but you don’t get a face-to-face with the boss just yet. You’ll hear from us, Hawks.” Dabi looked over his shoulder at you. “C’mon, mouse.”

You smiled at that, straightening up. “Finally, I was getting bored here. See ya around, Number Two.” You manoeuvred around him with a wave, walking after Dabi.

Dabi stared out at the horizon as the sun rose, hands in his pockets. You were leaned against him with your eyes shut.

“Oh… oh! Right! That was Snatch!” 

You hummed and looked up at Dabi when he spoke. “That was the sand guy, right? He made that stupid comment about the families of the people we kill?” You frowned as blood trickled out from his scars, gently wiping it away as he responded. 

“Yeah, that one.” His voice was uncharacteristically soft. “I’ve thought about it so much that I’ve gone crazy.”

You gave a soft laugh at that. “At least you’ve got someone just as fuckin’ crazy by your side.”

“Yeah. At least I’ve got that.”

[ssreeder]

ALSKFJG to be fair Reedy i for one am not complaining about the length over here, there's a thrill to each update. Idk if I've mentioned before that the first thing i do when I'm scrolling through ao3 is to set my filters tl show only complete works. I'm not strong enough to deal with uncompleted works, but at the same time, if i go on too long like that, i end up missing the thrill of just... Going along for the ride, checking when there's an update, hyping myself uo when there IS and I'm not ready to deal with it, taking a moment to breathe after i read it, get lost in the possibilities of what's to come until the next chapter comes out

Like... It is fun, to be able to enjoy a story to it's fullest extent, and there's a certain joy that can't be replicated by reading it all in one sitting, a joy that comes from having to sit with what you have and *wonder*

And BOI am i fucking wondering what's going to happen, i have a ticking time bomb stressing me out constantly in the form of a somewhat unhinged but ultimately baby 14 year old called Azula, and meanwhile zuko is sneaking into sokka's bedroom and I'm just here sitting watching reading knowing that's just BEGGING for trouble bc WHAT IF SOMEONE COMES IN, and also toph absolutely knows bc she literally can feel the extra heartbeat but she minds the business that pays her

I hope it's that, anyways, and not toph waiting for the moment to bully sokka, which i WOULD appreciate but... I wouldn't wish to be sokka for that if that's the plan. And talking about bullying. JET JET JET JET. You've got me over here stressed out for jet waking up bc like... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH. PAIN. I WANT HIS PAIN. I CRAVE HIS SUFFERING. I NEED TO SEE WHAT HE'LL DO NOW. Reedy what have you done to me. You have me rooting for jet. In a twisted backwards way but still

And katara deserves the world, she has no idea what's coming and god will she hate it but she's doing her best she deserves some vacations. They're not coming tho. Bc as soon as jet wakes up to cause problems on purpose she'll probably find out zukka is a thing and she still doesn't like zuko so the poor girl is bound for whiplash and then the water tribe is getting into ba sing se but not for long! Because Azula is a menace and she's out for blood and i oove her but that kid needs to be adopted soon before she burns the world (is she going to get adopted? Puppy eyes over here begging for her to be adopted. She'd look great in water tribe blue) (i know that's not what this story is about but a guy can dream ok?)

Anyways. This is what you do when you leave me to think about the future of the story for too long. The possibilities are simmering in my brain

-Fragile heart

Hahaha - well we are officially on this journey together pal! Im glad you hopped on before we got to the end lol.

Im confident a certain earth bender knows that a certain highly strung fire bender is sneaking in through the window at night. Im sure she is just waiting for the right time to commence the teasing.

Jets awakening won’t be next chapter but the one after that! (I couldn’t fit it all this next chapter haha) but it’ll be a mess I can assure you that.

Katara isn’t getting a break anytime soon! & no I’m sure she won’t be THRILLED to find out about zukka mostly because her interaction with Zuko doesn’t go so smoothly next chapter ha……. Oops

As for azula…. Hmmm….. we’ll see ;)

[fierceawakening]

I think Tumblr is thankfully a little over its “people with NPD are smol beans uwu” phase (or maybe it’s just that I’ve finally filtered that cadre of people out and those left are a bit more friendly to “demonizing people is bad! Obvi! but there’s also a reason many people find people with those traits difficult to be in close relationships with,” which is pretty much where I am) but I am Thinking about something

Some of you know that I’ve been following the Ruby Franke child abuse case. Franke was a Mormon influencer and mommy vlogger who was popular but who many people worried was overly harsh with her kids to the point of abuse. She had a close associate named Jodi Hildebrandt who at the time was a licensed therapist.

One of her kids fled Jodi’s home and had been severely physically abused (tied up in such a way it left deep wounds which were then “treated” with cayenne pepper paste), blowing the whole thing wide open. Ruby and Jodi both were charged with aggravated child abuse and both pled guilty to four of six counts and are awaiting sentencing.

Anyway people have been following the story, and one thing that’s become very clear is that Jodi was a profoundly unethical therapist and has a history both of abusing kids and of ruining adult clients’ marriages. It’s a mess and a train wreck and very obvious when you look into Jodi that she had a kind of cult leader personality. (People suspected she wouldn’t plead guilty just because she’s SO rigid about her beliefs in the videos.) I know the one true way to help kids grow, society disapproves but I’m right, etc.

And there’s one video of her that people watch for the shock of it. She is sitting with Ruby in the basement they used as a video studio, and she goes off on a rant that gets more and more unhinged as she goes on. She’s upset that she’s getting bad reviews on her videos and people saying her techniques are abusive, and she says something to the effect of “I’ve made it really easy to give us a five star review, but you guys aren’t doing it! Why aren’t you doing it? You need to go do it right now. We’re getting all these one stars and we need you to help us fix it.”

It’s fascinating for the complete lack of acknowledgement that anyone might just not like the content, or give one star because they disagree with the techniques. Especially when viewers were mentioning repeatedly that they were concerned the techniques were too harsh and could even be abusive. If someone thinks that about what you’re teaching, yeah, they’ll give one star. Should be obvious? But she’s just like “I don’t know why you all aren’t doing this. Go do it.”

Anyway I bring this up because I’ve watched a LOT of videos on this, and that’s included several mental health professionals watching the videos and debunking the supposedly revolutionary new techniques of Jodi’s as abusive discipline with a weird half new age half religious conservative polish on it.

And EVERY ONE of the reactions I can remember from trained professionals says “this behavior is a clear indicator of narcissism. I would absolutely be looking out for more things like this to make a diagnosis if I were asked to do so.”

What intrigues me here is the clear consensus, and how little it resembles what I’ve seen people here on Tumblr say being narcissistic is like, which as they describe it seems to be destructive perfectionism plus struggles to empathize with people they’re not deeply close to.

Which I dunno. I think this discourse has kind of faded anyway at least off my own dash, but… I dunno. I think tumblr can sometimes get very echo chamber y about what a particular illness looks like, and everyone can sometimes all jump on a less central symptom because some posts are going viral.

Anyway I found it very interesting to see the professionals focusing very much on someone literally demanding praise, an unusual behavior that most would find striking, when the talk of tumblr was all “oh I’m a perfectionist, just to a degree where I do myself harm,” which sounds a lot more like understandably shitty coping and not “wow that’s pretty out of touch yeah.”

I dunno. I guess my point is… we love the idea of personal stories and experiential knowledge because it fits our broader politics, but it’s worthwhile to check what the scholars have to say to make sure we’re not taking one person’s compelling account as the truth of the thing.

[sophsun1]

contrary to the other anons opinion, i think you should make MORE qaf gifs!!!

but on the real, i’m one of those people who didn’t watch qaf until this year and it’s been such a treat to be able to come to your blog every day and see new qaf content so thank you!

Hey anon!

Aww, thank you I really appreciate you saying that and I'm glad you enjoy the content. It's why I do it, so me and other fans can see it and to spread a tiny bit of escapism happiness 💕

To be honest I wouldn't have even acknowledged that anon because the best way to deal with hate is to straight up block and delete. Don't even give them your energy as the issue is with them and not you. But what triggered me was the blatant entitlement and rudeness that they had a right to tell me what to post on MY blog. As far as I'm aware I do not have a gun to their head or anyone's asking them to follow me if they don't like what I post. I would rather you unfollow and go enjoy the things you want to see, why make yourself upset over something that is so avoidable and trivial in the grand scheme of things.

You are in charge of what you see on here, unfollow, block, filter the tag are all options available to you so the idiocy of going to the blog owner and demanding they tailor their content to suit you is ridiculous.

Plus I came onto tumblr posting qaf and have been doing so for TWO YEARS. My icon is qaf and so is my header and if you ask my mutuals/followers what is Soph known for? they'll say oh she's the one posting qaf! It's not like it's not obvious I post about it. I didn't know my two whole gifsets a day was overkill, and what made me laugh was I do post gifs about other shows, my top posts reflect that and are all non qaf related! My other show interests are on hiatus so I can't exactly magic up content to gif. I make a lot of gifs for fandoms that don't even have active gif makers anymore so yk.

There's enough unkindness in the world as it is, and I use tumblr and gif making as a creative escape as do the majority of content creators on here, whether it's answering asks, writing fic, writing meta, funny posts etc whatever. It's my tiny safe space to be silly and post with and for my followers. I go through enough shit in real life I don't welcome it here.

The major reason why I love posting gifs in general for qaf is because I only discovered the show two years ago and when I came on here there was zero content. So I took it upon myself to learn gif making and I'm 100% self taught, no one has shown me how to do anything I've had to go search it myself. I'm really fucking proud of how far I've come with making them, from my grainy and uncoloured ones which I still smile at because I made them with love to the ones that I create now. It takes literal hours and the process isn't easy. So now to be the one posting stuff for old fans, new fans to discover is me coming tumblr full circle!

There's many gif makers like me that create for "dead fandoms" or forgotten shows, and sometimes it might be that if we didn't post then there would be nothing for people to enjoy like it was for me. I've had people who followed me from day one and my first ever britin gifset who still pop up in my notes now and people who have discovered the show from my gifs, and ones like you who come to the tag and see my unhinged self all over it.

So in conclusion my point is first off think twice before you hit that anon button with hate, because there's a real life person behind that icon who is causing you no harm so have the decency to do the same in return. Imagine someone did become self conscious after getting that ask and stopped posting something they like. Let people enjoy what they want and it's first world problems to be complaining about, I don't take stuff on here seriously when it's fandom stuff but I don't care for nastiness towards anyone.

I wish more people did make qaf gifs so I would have stuff to reblog myself and could take a break lmao it's lonely out here. It doesn't even have to be gifs, it can be meta, mood boards, screenshots, fic anything. So qaf fans get to it pls...

Keep creating what you like, for me it doesn't have to be the best quality gifs or greatest technical gifset. What makes me smile and I love seeing is people post stuff because they wanna have fun, they took the time and effort to create and post because it came from the heart. So fuck anyone else as we're all losers on tumblr together!

[creaturebehavior]

ugh i’ve reached that point in the night where staying awake is now draining me and it’s time to sleep but i for some reason don’t want to lay down and sleep

i guess i should pick a comforting show and turn my lights off and try to relax

i feel like super lonely this evening. all night i’ve been trying to shake it. and i just can’t find a way to meet this need. and it’s becoming more apparent every day that i should not be so isolated but im terrified of talking to people. even when leo calls half the time it’s like i can’t even get any words out because i’m so afraid to speak

when i’m not doing well, i have an even harder time with my filter, and it’s really humiliating and it makes other people uncomfortable, and so i am afraid to say anything now.

last year i was basically begging my school to let me take a leave of absence as i was in mania and psychosis and dissociating all the time and they wouldn’t allow it and i continued going to school when honestly i needed to be at home or at an inpatient, like i was so incredibly unstable and every day i would contemplate checking myself into a behavioral health center because i was so incredibly suicidal but i just kept on going to school and trying to graduate. and i am honestly kind of traumatized from that experience. and i feel so ashamed for how i behaved in front of people during that time that now i am afraid to act at all, i am afraid to speak at all. i no longer speak to the friends i made at school because i still feel too unwell to have a healthy and not toxic and unhinged conversation with them, plus also i have done so much reflection on the kind of people they were and how i felt i had to mask heavily and join in on talking shit about every single person that wasn’t me, jill or taylor. it made me even sicker. my defenses were up and i picked two people to latch onto and mirror in order to try to survive through school. and at the end of it i hated myself so much, i felt like oozing toxic tar and i couldn’t believe all i had done and said, all out of fear.

and i’m having to confront several of my patterns. it’s so fucking insane, i dropped out of school when i was 16 and didn’t return to a school until i was 26. and i fell right back into behaving how i behaved when i was younger in order to survive public school. i got defensive and mean. and i have to come to terms with this side of myself and figure out what to do about it. because i do not want to be on the defensive anymore. i don’t want to be on the offensive anymore. i want to be myself and not freak out and get all weird every time i’m in a situation where i have to be around other people like that

my seroquel has kicked in so i’m losing my train of thought but did i mention i don’t think taylor or jill are my true friends?

you know who i do still trust though? Selena. she will be the first person i reach out to next time i am feeling stable enough to socialize. She has psychosis too, and i felt safe around her. She understands and i think she’d still love me if i took my mask all the way off. I guess i just don’t know how to feel ready to engage in a friendship with someone. i’m experiencing really low empathy through this breakdown and it makes it incredibly difficult to care about anyone except myself or my favorite person. i am resisting the urge to judge myself over that. god, i literally have bpd. jfc.

when i was younger i used to care so much about all my friends. and now i literally am so burnt out, i’ve given so much of a shit about so many people for my entire life and i finally just hit a wall like it’s so difficult sometimes for me to care about other people and like care about what they’re saying to me and like care about their lives and like be interested enough and have energy to listen to them but i just don’t.

i tire my own self out sometimes because i’ll like, say all this shit to leo sometimes for example and i don’t even care what i’m saying but i keep saying stuff and i’m like god SHUT up ema i don’t care!

so like. it’s hard for me to like. care about something a friend tells me. like mostly everything feels so unimportant

[kmp78]

A smart man goes silent first if an unhinged wife tries to provoke him with fighting. Strong people don’t talk back. They just shut down and ignore you completely. I think it was a sign of “enough” from JL. You hate me? Cool. I’m no longer giving you content then.

But that's not what this is.

If he had fucked up like this WHEN HE'S OFF-DUTY and not doing a damn thing professionally, then fine!

Go and sulk in a cave for a month and ignore the rest of the world! 👋

But right now HE IS ON TOUR.

He doesn't have the luxury of getting all in his feelies about his own fuck-up and ignoring everything and everyone while he licks his wounds and counts the days until his shame goes away.

It would even be understandable if HE HIMSELF scaled back his own childish filter clips and all that.

But to shut down EVERY MARS (AKA PROFESSIONAL) OUTLET MID-TOUR cos he is feeling moody about getting rammed by the press and fans...

Like... come on, man. 🙄

Are you really that big of a baby? 🤦🏼‍♀️

And btw this shows perfectly how little regard they have for their customers. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[strawberryya]

co-parenting

jiwon x reader

synopsis: You adopt a fish, but you do so with a stranger that you just met and will now co-parent said fish with. It goes pretty well, especially since your co-parent is gorgeous and hilarious...

word count: 3.8k

genre/contains: Fluff, sick pet, kissing, fated mates, hurt/comfort, everyone is gay, straight people don’t exist obviously, not technically a crackfic, just unapologetically unhinged, strangers to lovers but we move fast as fuck, reader is gn-neutral, probably a ton of incorrect fish facts, ft. roommate seoyeon.

a/n: So, this is the result of me trying to do that tiktok trend with the filters and you write something based on what you get from them. The "fated mates, hurt/comfort, everyone is gay, straight people don’t exist obviously, not technically a crackfic, just unapologetically unhinged." are the ones I got from that and they now exist here in some way I think so tadaa!

.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・. .・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・..・。.・゜✭・.

“Fuck it, I’m getting a fish!” you shouted, barging into the living room where your roommate, Seoyeon, was peacefully eating cereal for lunch. 

Putting down her spoon and phone she hesitated before asking, “May I ask why you have decided to get a fish, and also why it was necessary for me to know this information?” 

“Because I just spent an hour crying over these videos on youtube about people decorating huge tanks for tiny fish, and it was so adorable, and I’m a bit emotional today, so we’re getting a fish to fix it,” you said in one breath, making you breathe in and out very deeply once you finished. 

Seoyeon only nodded and went back to her phone and cereal, not bothering to question you any further. You were in sweats and an oversized t-shirt and decided not to concern yourself over your choice of attire as you put on the first shoes you could find before running out of the apartment, shouting “Bye! I’ll be back with my fish child soon!” while you flung the door shut behind you. 

Running around the city for a fish you just decided on adopting wasn’t what you wished to do this day, so it was a very pleasant surprise when you waltzed into a pet store after only a couple of minutes of walking from your apartment. 

You headed directly towards the big sign with FISH on it. 

It smelled like aquariums and fish food in the designated FISH area, but you weren’t in the mindset to notice the less-than-pleasant smells; too busy strutting along the isles of lit-up tanks to pick up the scent. 

You passed tanks of various sizes, filled with sand, water, plants, and of course fish. In some tanks, you even spotted some crabs and shrimps crawling around along the rocky bottoms of their tanks, and the seahorses had you stopping to look at them where they swam around for quite a while. 

There were hundreds of adorable little fishies, and you stopped in front of maybe a dozen or so tanks looking at the small creatures making their way through the water. But none of the ones you saw had you on your knees begging to take it home, that was until you reached the end of one of the rows, where a single fish resided, swimming slowly through the clear water in the tank. You were mesmerized the moment you saw him. 

“You’re the one!” you excitedly exclaimed as you stood there, bent over and pressing your face close to the glass of the tank while looking at your new son in complete awe. 

However. As you said that, it was as if you could hear the echo of your voice coming from the tank, but it wasn’t from the tank that the sound was coming from, and it wasn’t exactly your voice either. No, it was coming from behind the tank on the opposite end of it. 

You managed to force your eyes to look past your (in your mind) already adopted son, and look through the glass tank to the other end, meeting, not just an empty isle on the other side, but a face staring right back at you, the expression seemingly just as surprised as yours. It took you both a while to try and comprehend what was going on, both of your simply staring at each other through the tank, looking at each others’ distorted faces, your eyes going between each other, and the fish still calmly swimming in the water in between you. 

This person had said the same thing that you had, at the exact same time as you had, about the very same fish that you just had. What are the odds of that even happening? You blinked one last time before you pushed yourself up from the position you had been standing in and instead of staring at each other through the tank, you were now face-to-face with the prettiest girl you had ever seen. (this also made you instantly regret not putting a bit more effort into your outfit, but that regret would have to be postponed for a later time.)

“Hi,” you managed to cough up along with a small wave to the person standing across from you. 

“Hello,” she responded, waving her hand back in an absent-minded way, still staring at you with an unreadable expression. 

“You… like my fish?” you finally continued, not even aware enough to be mad at yourself for how stupid that sounded. 

She looked back at you, her expression turning into more of a questioning frown than the unreadable one she had had since you saw her through the tank. 

“Your fish? Did you already adopt him??” she said, sounding rather flabbergasted. 

“No, I mean, technically I haven’t, but I was just about to!” you tried to explain. 

She looked down at the fish, and you did the same, a couple of seconds passed while you both stood there, mesmerized once again by the adorableness of the creature swimming around in there. 

“I was about to do the same,” she said after a while, looking back up at you and meeting your eyes with a fiery passion you weren’t prepared for at all. 

Now you were the one who was flabbergasted. “I- uhm, I don’t know how we should…” you began. You weren’t sure what to say or do, to be honest; because what does one do when two people have decided that their fish is the same exact fish and that they both want to adopt that fish? However, you didn’t have to think too hard or long about what to do because the woman in front of you soon interrupted your thoughts. 

“What if we co-parented him?” she asked, her tone implying that her proposal was a very logical solution to your problem. 

You took a moment to process the proposal before nodding and agreeing to try. “Okay, but - how exactly does one co-parent an aquatic animal?” you questioned, hoping that she would have some experience or at least a plan on how to execute the idea. 

She did not, but, she very quickly came up with an ingenious plan: “What if one of us keeps him at our place, and then the other parent can just come over to care for him when it’s their turn? I’m thinking that would be easier than carrying the entire tank between our places every week. Also, that doesn’t seem very nice to our son either…”

“Yes, you’re right, we must consider the trauma that he would suffer through having his entire life moved around so often, especially since he will be living all alone instead of with his friends like he has been so far in his life,” you added, and you both nodded with serious faces before looking at the fish in the tank next to you. 

Your grim faces dissolved into adoring ones as soon as you laid eyes on him, “Yes, we must keep our son’s best in mind through it all,” she agreed. “Our son” already sounded natural in her mouth. You had to admit that your heart fluttered a bit, hearing her refer to you two as one unit like that, like a pair inseparable from one another. 

No, this was not the time to catch feelings for someone, a crush on your now co-parent would only complicate everything - not a good idea, you thought as you mentally slapped yourself. 

“I’m Jiwon by the way,” she said as you walked over to the front desk to request someone to help you get everything you needed. 

“I’m y/n and I’m looking forward to co-parenting with you Jiwon,” you responded, your smile growing wider as you continued walking. 

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In the end, you had decided that your place would be best, you had a bit more space that could easily be cleared out to fit the tank, and Jiwon said she was okay with him staying at yours as long as she was free to come to visit often. The whole process of installing the tank, and then the water process, and on top of that trying to choose how to decorate your son's tank had been a full day commitment, or, a full seven-day commitment it had turned out. Not that you were complaining, quite the opposite actually, this was the most fun you had had in a while, and it was largely due to the fact that your new co-guardian was one of the funniest people ever. 

She had made you laugh over the silliest of things so many times you wouldn’t be able to count them even if you tried. Then there was the whole issue of how she turned out to have this weird superpower when it came to you. 

Whenever she looked at you, it was as if you could tell how her attention shifted. You felt all the attention in the world shifting over to focus solely on you, and every single time it made you so flustered you wanted to poof your way out of the situation before you did anything stupid; like telling her how much you love the way she looks at you, or how she makes you feel so special you get a teeny tiny bit of hybris each time she smiles at one of your stupid jokes, or the stupidest thing of all - kiss her. 

Anyways… now your son had his own brand new castle with a tower on the side since you both came to the conclusion that he would love to have that as a bedroom. (because who wouldn’t like his own tower to run back to when life gets too hectic?) And today was the day when he could finally come home to his new home in the corner of your bedroom. 

But, there was one thing that you had just now begun pondering: what do we call him? You had been throwing out names left and right for a while now, but everything just seemed so silly when you said them out loud. Marty, Bob, and Andrew had all been discussed and declined by both of you in the end. 

“What about Bartholomew Timothy the First, but we will just call him Timothy?” 

“It’s perfect! You’re a genius!!” you responded and smiled from ear to ear making Jiwon look away, her face flushing slightly. You noticed how she tried to hide it, but it was too late, your heart made a flip in your chest at her adorable awkwardness. 

A few moments passed where you both just stopped and gazed into each other’s eyes, both of you unable to look away or speak. 

“Weren’t you two supposed to pick up your fish?” a voice asked, snapping you both out of your little moment. 

“Weren’t you supposed to leave for your ice cream date with your girlfriend like 10 minutes ago??” you responded, a bit more sassy and defensive than you had planned. Fortunately, Seoyeon didn’t remark or seem to care about that too much, she just smiled a bit and waved her hand. 

“She said she would be late so I’m just waiting a bit so I don’t get there too early. You two, however, what’s your excuse? Trying out telepathy by staring at each other long enough?” she snickered a bit at herself as she watched you both fiddle with the edges of the couch you were sitting on in the living room. 

“We were just leaving, and yes, we are currently talking about how much we would love you if you would be so kind as to bring home some of that ice cream for us through our minds. Witchy right?” Jiwon said back, smiling at you as she began getting up, naturally making you follow her lead and get up from the soft cushions. 

“Good luck with your witchy communicating, and we’ll see about the ice cream,” Seoyeon said, smirking a bit when both you and Jiwon awkwardly headed out, both of you unsure of how to handle the tension that kept being constantly present in your relationship. 

You made it through the day though, and Bartholomew Timothy the First adjusted quickly to his new home. It took a while to figure out the routines surrounding your co-parenting, but after a bit, it seemed as if it had always been just like this. Jiwon came over every other day to occasionally feed but mainly just spend time with Timothy, (and in the end you), and on the weekends she came over for as long as possible, at times the entire day. You watched movies together (along with Timothy of course), showing each other your favorite movies and shows, listening to music together (still with Timothy of course), and sometimes you just talked for hours, getting to know each other (and letting Timothy get to know is new parent, of course). 

It was comfortable, but those moments, where you felt that pulsating intense feeling of having her focus all her attention on you had become increasingly difficult to handle. But for Timothys’ sake, you weren’t sure if it was a great idea to let feelings into your co-parenting relationship just like that. 

Nevertheless, this moment was not the time for thinking about things like that, you told yourself and pushed the feelings and the thoughts deep down as you scurried over to the front door, begging her in your mind not to ring the doorbell one more time. 

“Hi, come on, hurry and be quiet,” you hissed after you opened the door, letting Jiwon into the hallway before dragging her with you to your room by her hand. Once you had shut your door behind you, you let out a deep sigh and leaned back against the door. 

“Why are we whispering??” Jiwon whispered to you, pulling you out of your moment of letting go of the stress you had just experienced from not wanting to be too loud. 

You opened your eyes to answer her, but Jiwons big eyes staring at you, her face lit up by the dim lighting of the room, and the close proximity she was in since you were still holding her hand in yours distracted you before you could explain your behavior. 

“Woah,” you accidentally let out under your breath. 

Jiwon’s eyes became even bigger, her pupils growing as you let your thumb drag over her hand. “What?” she said in a hushed tone. 

“Uh, nothing, it was nothing really… we’re whispering because Seoyeon - date - shouldn’t disturb…” you tried, but she didn’t care about the reasons for your actions anymore, so she asked again about what she wanted you to actually tell her.

“Woah what?” she said, her tone still low and seductive, but she had managed to still copy the exact way you had said woah before. The teasing in a moment like this was too much for you to handle, and your face cracked up in a wide smile and you chuckled a short chuckle before collecting yourself. 

“Woah, you look so pretty right now, is what I was thinking,” you said with a teasing smirk on your face as you saw how Jiwon’s pupils grew even wider than before and her cheeks became tinted a shade of pink that was hard to define in the low light of the room. 

“...oh,” she murmured, her eyes landing on your grinning mouth. “You look… really pretty too,” Jiwon said under her breath. 

Ok, fuck pushing down the thoughts and the feelings, Timothy can handle it. You thought as you let the words on your mind fall off your tongue. 

“Jiwon, I like you,” you whispered with a trembling voice and her eyes shot up to yours with lightning speed. 

Now she was the one smirking. “I like you too…” 

Her words hit you like the heat when getting out of an airplane in Spain, and suddenly you felt very lightheaded, the lights of the room blurring a bit around the edges. Your breath was still caught in your throat and your heartbeat was going feral inside your chest. 

“You like me too…? Oh my god,” you said in a slightly more high-pitched voice than you meant to let out. She suppressed a laugh at your shocked state before saying, “Yeah, I like you too.” 

That was the last drop, you couldn’t not kiss her now when she’s standing pressed against you with eyes staring at you like you were a freaking jewel, telling you that she liked you back! So you leaned forward, her breath hot against your skin when you stopped, “Can I…” you began, but your words were interrupted when Jiwon murmured “Yes,” before leaning in the rest of the way and letting your lips fall onto hers. 

Her lips were so perfect, and it took you a while to pull off of each other and stop the makeout session that had been initiated by your confessions. And once you had left her warm and unimaginably soft lips, you wanted nothing more than to go right back to kissing her again. But the need to simply hold her, and look at her in your arms overpowered the need to kiss her, if only momentarily. 

“So,” you began, both of you giggling when you made eye contact and saw the others’ puffy lips, “are we… more than friends?” you asked, subduing the giggles while waiting for a response. 

“I mean, I would love to be your girlfriend, if you want that too…” she said, looking away for a moment before you could feel the shift in the air yet again. The attention feeling like fluffy clouds surrounding you, embedding you within it, and letting you float through the air as if you were literally flying. 

“I’d love that,” was all you could say before you let your lips meet hers again, sweet kisses combined with whispers, confessing just how much you’d love calling her your girlfriend, and countless tiny words confessing all the big feelings you were feeling for her and she was feeling for you, all of them spilling out at once and leaving you both in a sea of all that you wanted to say and all that you wanted to hear. 

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“He’s sick!” you cried out, sobbing into her shoulder as soon as she stepped into your apartment, embracing you tightly as she asked, “How, what’s wrong with him?” The worry she felt filled her voice when she spoke. 

“I don’t know,” you whispered, “he’s not swimming around like usual, and he won’t eat, and he won’t come out of his castle!” 

Jiwon patted your head, hushing your sobs as her own eyes filled with tears of worry for both you and Timothy. 

Once you had calmed down a bit, showing her the signs of Timothy’s sickness, Jiwon pulled out her phone, searching for a couple of minutes before chuckling just a little bit and then looking up at you, her eyes shining with joy and relief. 

“What??” you practically screamed, wanting to understand why she was suddenly seemingly the opposite of worried for Timothy. 

“Babe, this says all those signs are just signs of him being pregnant…” she finally said, laughter hanging in the previously very tense air around you. 

“He’s… going to have babies? But, when…” 

“It’s possible that he hadn’t been alone in that tank before we showed up that day… and we only got him like a couple of weeks ago and this says they usually pregnant for a month or two, so he was probably already pregnant when we got him,” she explained, showing you the page and the signs that it was, in fact, a pregnancy and that he wasn’t dying.

“So… WE’RE GOING TO BE GRANDPARENTS!” you shouted, now exuberant from both the relief and the thought of your son becoming a parent of tiny little Timothys’. 

“Oh my god, you’re right!” Jiwon exclaimed, “We better get ready, let’s go and get a rocking chair, and we should learn how to make little knitted waterproof fish hats, and we absolutely need to learn the rules of chess so we can teach them when they get a bit older,” she began, now completely absorbed in the idea of becoming the absolute best grandma that she could possibly be for the little ones. 

You felt that extreme joy about Timothy quickly turn into something else, your heart became filled with pure love and adoration for your girlfriend, and then she looked at you, and you felt the air shift just like it had done so many times since you met her, and you couldn’t help yourself. 

“I love you,” you said under your breath.

But it was definitely loud enough for her to hear you loud and clear. 

“What…” she said, visibly still trying to process what you had just said. It had only been a couple of weeks since you had met, and it was definitely wayyy too soon to say that, but you felt it, and when she looked at you like that it was simply impossible to not let your feelings be known.

“I- I love you…” you repeated it, trying your hardest to keep eye contact with her even though your brain was screaming at you to run and hide, however, another part of your brain was screaming to stay and say it a hundred times more if she wanted to hear it, and that voice was so much louder than the other one, so you basically had no choice but to stay and wait. Fortunately, you didn’t have to wait too long, because once the fact of what you had just said had been processed, her face cracked up into a smile, “I love you too,” she said. It was simple, but it was everything that mattered in the entire world, she loves you, and you love her, and you giggled, pulling each other in and kissing her so deeply you were sure you would weld yourself to her lips someday and never let go. 

Once you pulled your lips away, still unable to take the smile off your lips, and her smile sticking to her own lips, you placed your forehead against hers, staring into one another's eyes.

“You know, I think we might have been fated to meet that day in the pet store,” Jiwon said, breaking the comfortable silence of you two just floating in the moment. However, you had decided that there had been too much sappiness for one day already at this point.

“Pfft, yeah, no, I mean sure, it could’ve been destiny, or just pure luck, orrrrr it was just unavoidable since I'm so hot. Guess we will never know for sure…” 

Your tone and statement made Jiwon chuckle before she grabbed your face again and pulled you towards her lips, “You’re right, you’re hot and it was definitely inevitable for us to fall in love,” she said once she pulled back making you both fall into a fit of giggles and laughter as you pushed her playfully before kissing her once again and then a hundred more times and hoped that you would be able to do just that for the rest of your life. 

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[oswildin]

A Character Analysis: The Master (Dhawan!Master Specifically)

I’ve seen a lot of people discussing the character arc of The Master, and how there seems to be a bit of discontent about Dhawan!Master could be after Missy.

But I’m here to argue that it makes perfect sense.

I’ve stated in a previous post with another user how I feel each Master (like The Doctor) has their own issues and traits that differ, but ultimately they all share the same core feelings/beliefs. If we take a closer look at the NuWho incarnations of The Master, they present as the following:

Simm!Master - Feels out of control, needs to be in charge, trying to figure out what the drums mean and why it’s happening to him. He finally gets his answer, but again is left feeling out of control as he was purely a pawn in the Timelords plan to return from the Time War. Ultimately, he takes control by sacrificing himself to ensure they get sent back. His need for control can also be seen when he refuses to regenerate with 10. He wanted to be special, to one up the Doctor.

Missy - Wishes to be better, to be more like The Doctor, even goes so far as to also have a Scottish accent, and tries to push The Doctors boundaries in multiple ways (especially with Clara when she puts her in a dalek). Ultimately, she just wanted her friend back, but knew in reality there was too much damage for it to be smooth sailing. She tries to unlearn years of character traits, but in the end was brought down by herself (Simm!Master), in which all she can do is laugh at the irony. She wanted to be The Doctor’s equal.

Dhawan!Master - Finds out the truth about The Timelords, loss of identity (very similar to The Doctor herself), full of calculated rage, self-hatred and most of all a new motivation. Missy showed him he was capable of change, but the only person stopping him, was himself. So what was the point? If it wasn’t an easy road, why bother? Especially after finding out the truth about their origins. He’s at war with himself, as well as The Doctor, he tries to make her understand the only way he knows how. Chaos. He wanted her to understand why.

There’s no denying that 13 doesn’t have nearly as much empathy or compassion for The Master this time round. 10 tried to reason with the Master, even forgave him and offered a truce. 12 was the closest to understanding Missy, actually starting to build a bridge, realising his own wrong doings, whilst trying to teach her his way of doing things. Whereas 13… She seems done, fed up, irritated by him. She doesn’t even try to reason with him, she just stops him, even going so far as to letting him endure god knows how many years of torture via the Nazi’s… Removing his perception filter and framing him as a double agent… That’s not very Doctor-like.

Of course his rage is going to explode.

Perhaps she thought he would get away, it’s what he does, but she couldn’t be sure, yet she still did it.

Now whilst I think The Master obviously has some envy towards the Doctor, I don’t necessarily believe it’s all in hatred, which is how he has been portrayed this arc, that everything he is, is because of The Doctor. I would like to believe that he destroyed Gallifrey for the Doctor. In his own way, he cares for her, and finding out what they did to a child? A child who was once his friend?

And even when he shows the Doctor the truth, she turns on him, rather than trying to understand why, she simply just turns her back on him. He did what he thought was right, exactly as she did in the Time War. But she doesn’t see it that way, because she doesn’t have that understanding of him. Not anymore.

In TPOTD, The Master is a lot more controlled and calculated, whilst still unhinged in his own way. At this point, I feel he is truly just tired. He’s tired of being him. Him trying to become The Doctor wasn’t in malice, it was a last ditched effort to try and get The Doctor to see, to understand, that they weren’t so different. It was almost like a cry for compassion, which no one seems to hear. Even in the end, when he faces her one last time, she turns her back on him, leaving him for dead (which wouldn’t be the first time).

Him choosing to kill her was a spur of the moment retaliation. Perhaps if she had gone and helped him, it wouldn’t have happened. Or maybe it would have regardless. Perhaps he just didn’t want to die alone. He was ready to give up the fight, but he didn’t want to do it alone. If he wanted to, he would’ve done, he had multiple chances.

The Master we witnessed during 13s run was a man full to the brim of trauma, alienation, loss of identity and anger. That’s why he’s the way he is. It’s not so out of character for The Master to flip flop between doing the right thing and the wrong thing. This is shown with Simm!Master when he sends the Timelords back, and with Missy as she constantly has a back and forth battle with herself to want to be better… So when it comes to Dhawan!Master, it feels his right and wrong compass is broken, because he no longer knows what is considered right or wrong anymore.

So for me, Dhawan!Master is after Missy, and it makes sense.