#i have no clue what kind of melody this would have

[artaphant]

I've been inspired by the Epic works and the small factoid I heard somewhere about Penelope undoing the grieving cloth at night to further delay her suitors and hold out hope Odysseus comes home. I really hope Jorge/Mr. Jalapeño gives us a Penelope song. If not, I have written my own.

"Weaving, don't come in, I am weaving, weaving my final goodbye

(Finally, the suitors say)

"Athena, goddess of wisdom, mistress of the loom

Help me find my hope among all this gloom

Twenty years ago, my husband left for war

Now suitors wait behind this door

Eager to take Ithaca and become the new king

While all they have brought here is suffering

Help me Athena, you've helped us before

I do not know if I can wait for Odysseus anymore.

Our son has grown strong and is fit for a king

But that fit will mean nothing if he is not here

These vultures will tear our whole kingdom asunder

Meanwhile I am left to wonder

Has he died on the seas, or been slain in the war?

Has he found a new lover on some exotic shore?

All the ifs and could bes, I weave in this shawl

For if I speak them aloud Ithaca may fall

But once it is done then my kingdom will come

Weave the threads to my end and the end of my son

Athena, give me your wisdom. Please give me a sign

Tell me, is Odysseus still mine?"

(Athena clock ticks)

"He is not dead, so pull the thread."

"Thank you. Odysseus please don't keep me waiting, waiting. Weaving, unweaving."

[valiantroeagleangel]

Varney.

Vampire! Noah Sebastian x female reader.

Varney! Noah, mention of blood, kind of dub-con but not really but a bit I think because of compulsion, oral, unprotected sex, mention of death.

I often have thoughts with Vampire! type of shit and I think I got a bit carried away gathering some of them here. Maybe I need to warn that this is inspired by the book "Varney the Vampire: The Feast of Blood." It's gothic horror I think, nothing too graphic is going on here though. But just- don't want you to be fooled, this is based on gothic gross vampires not that sparkling Edward bitch. I know nobody reads that part every time but you can't say you haven't been warned.

5.3k words if you ask.

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"Varney enjoys all the pleasures at once and when he manages to desecrate the bed of a pretty young woman while bleeding her white in a horrible sucking sound. He is a fearsome and scary creature that usually wakes up the members of the fair sex by scratching at the window of their room."

She knew he was here. She could feel him, hear him. She could hear the same four notes he was humming, letting the melody indicate his presence to those around. She looked through the window, trying to discern the shape outside, the condensation on the glass concealing his figure. But she knew he was here, god she knew and she couldn't look away. She didn't dare to move, she didn't want him to know she knew. He did though. Of course, he did. He just didn't say anything, he couldn't scare his prey. She was so innocent in her white nightgown, creeping at the window from her bed, fearing to be harmed in the middle of the night.

So he continued to sing his chords, the notes living rent-free in her mind for years now.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

It was like an obsessive thought, it intruded her mind, and it ate her brain. All she could do was hum along every time she heard them.

She knew he was here, she always did. And even if she abhorred it to hell, all she could do was to be haunted by these notes. They were so mesmerizing, like she was compelled to appreciate them, finding comfort in them even though they seemed terrifying.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She murmured them like a mantra, like it would save her from damnation. As if they were going to keep him away from her when he was the one living by their harmony.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

It wasn't that hard. Actually, if she tried, she was sure she could play them on the piano.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She was just a child then, not so long ago, when she first heard these four notes. That day he left a letter. "I'll come for you, my yuri." Yuri was not her name and by then she had no fucking clue of what he meant. She still doesn't. With time, the years went by and he started to reach for her again. It was first once a month, then once every two weeks, to finally once a week. The more she grew the more he seemed to visit. He was frightening her. He looked so tall, so massive and impressive. She only saw his face once, disguised in the darkness of her room. It was the only time he approached her that close and despite the terror she felt that night all she could remember was his long nose and the way his hair framed his face.

But while he continued his visits, he never tried anything to harm her to her surprise. She knew what he was, she often heard the elder talk about these creatures that come for you at night. But she liked to think he was some kind of protector. Oh, only if she knew. His intentions were everything but caring and kind. He wanted her. From the moment he saw her as a child, he wanted her, he wanted her blood. She smelled like no other.

His first thought was to get rid of her as a child, get a good meal from her and leave her for dead in the snow in front of her house. But even for him, killing that innocent child was too much. So he waited, promising himself a good feast for the years to come. He just had to watch for her, to be sure that no one would try to harm his prey. They called him Varney, Varney the vampire, attacking only those who were pure enough to be maidens. But as the years passed he never acted. He could have assailed her a thousand times now. She was not a child anymore and she lived so carefree- that girl was completely unconscious. He needed to act and to act soon before she would do something that would ruin her forever.

But he did nothing, he watched her for years, he observed how she evolved, how she went from that sweet smiling child to the woman she was today. And god, he was happy he waited because nothing ever smelled as divine as her. She smelled like strong lilies, yuri.

Yuri was the Japanese appellation for lilies. He didn't know her name, even after all these years he didn't look into it. He didn't need to know his prey, all he needed to was watch over her. Watch how happily she danced during the spring balls, how sad she cried during the dead season at the end of the autumn, how charming she was for the Christmas time, and how fragile she looked alone in her bed at night. That poor nightgown wasn't doing her any favour, he swore that if he squinted just a bit more he could see everything. That clothing was so see-through that she might be freezing to death during those stormy nights.

One day he dropped her a cloth, some kind of duvet for her body to heat. It was the only time he actually entered her room, hoping for her to be dead asleep. Unfortunately, she was not, and she saw his face. He knew she did, he only hoped for her to not remember, to think that it was some kind of dream. Only that she wasn't dumb, she knew he was lurking for her all these years and she knew he was here that night, next to her bed. At first, she thought she was good to die, the time had come. A stranger in her room watched her sleep like a psychopath, but he only dropped that duvet, and she knew it was him. He hummed for her and her body relaxed immediately. He had tamed her, had domesticated her. She wasn't even worried about him intruding on her space like that.

He knew he did a great job then, even if she saw what she was supposed to never see, his face.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

Winter balls have never been her thing. She much preferred the ones that were held in the spring or the summer. The celebrations were different, more festive. During the winter the balls were cold, held in big mansions from the ones who were welcoming all the people. Often they were masquerade parties, and she hated that too. She didn't like wearing that mask all night, it was itching and making her face sweat like a pig. Gosh, she hated them, and that corset dress too. It was so tight she could barely breathe. Spring balls were allowing more liberties, no masks, no dresses, nothing but dancing.

Nonetheless, she still walked through that hall, finally entering that marble castle and she couldn't help but appreciate the heat that welcomed her. Greeted by some kind of butler she walked through the corridors, reaching the room of the festivities.

She stared at the impressive chandelier, overwhelmed by all the luxury that surrounded her. She didn't have any idea whose house it was this time. Winter balls were held by the nobles of the land, one by one, it's all she needed to know, at least that's what she lived by.

And just like that the night went, she danced around with some people, chatted with others, it was all pleasant until she couldn't take it anymore. Politely she escaped the small group she was with, reaching for a balcony of some kind as she hoped for some air. That corset was for sure killing her. She laughed to herself, the idea of being killed by her awful garments making her smile a little.

"Oh no the poor lady suffocated in that way too tight dress, who's idea it was? We should strip her naked to see!" She mimicked some kind of rude man by herself, laughing even more at her antics. Maybe she was drunk, maybe it was the heat obstructing her brain, but she found that pleasant enough.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

Until he called for her. She first thought her brain was playing her tricks, but he called again.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She looked up, then down, looking for that well-known figure, only to notice him hidden among the roses of the garden below. She moved as fast as she could, hoping to actually be able to catch him tonight. She had so many things to ask, but she wasn't afraid, curiosity was gnawing at her.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

He sang the chord again and she let his voice guide her through the labyrinth of flowers and small trees she was losing herself in.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

"Come for me, my yuri."

He talked to her and for the first time, she felt like she heard his voice, like he was real, like all of this was concrete.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She couldn't see him yet, but the more she walked the more the melody became persistent.

"Yuri."

He guided her with his voice, keeping it sultry, as soft as his sweet words. Once again transported by his melodies, all she could do was search for him, she was completely frenetic, obsessed. She needed him, she needed more. She wondered why every time she heard him sing she couldn't feel fear anymore. As if he was some kind of saviour, an angel from heaven.

And then she saw him, standing in front of the fountain, hidden by thousands of thorns and roses. She recognized that tall frame and that nose. It's all she could remember him by, the long nose, so straight, so pretty, making him look so elegant.

She was in awe, her eyes staring straight into his, her lips agape. She didn't even dare to swallow, worried he might disappear at any second as if he was supernatural. He wasn't real, he wasn't human, she swore he was not. But he was clearly not an angel either. His aura was so dark and she remembered why she feared him at first.

His eyes pierced through her skin and she suddenly felt naked, as if she was not the one only wearing nightgowns in front of him every night for the past ten years. It was so different from what he used her to, he actually looked terrifying, as she remembered him from when she was a kid. He felt the change in her mood, felt how frightened she became in an instant. And without her even realizing he was by her side, in a flash, he towered over her against that thorny bush.

"It's okay my yuri, don't be afraid." He tried to soothe her, to coax her, but it didn't work that time. As if his voice had lost all of his fascinating power.

She tried to step back, only to puncture the naked skin of her arms with another thorn, a single drop of blood forming at her wound. It cascaded through her arm until it reached her hand. She felt it rolling down but her eyes were drowning in his. She couldn't look away, it didn't matter how frightened she actually was, her gaze couldn't leave his.

He licked his lower lips, the glow in his eyes darkening, and she didn't miss any of that. He swallowed hard, his eyes alternating between hers and her lips. He licked his once again, until he couldn't bear it one more minute. Carefully, he approached his face to hers, brushing his lips on hers.

"You’re bleeding Yuri." he whispered and she swallowed hard, her voice stuck in her throat. "Be careful, we wouldn't want to hurt that delicate flower."

Was he talking about her or about the roses behind her? She had no idea but she still blushed and he stepped back, leaving her some personal space again while she realized she actually had stopped breathing for several seconds now. He held his hand to her as he went sitting on the edge of the fountain.

She followed obediently, actually taking his hand in her as he pulled her toward him, startled by how hot she was compared to him. He made her stand between his spread legs, turning her so he could face her back. His eyes fell on the blood spreading on her arm, strings of red tarnishing the purity of her skin. Hypnotized by it he let his fingers travel from her hand to her forearms and the upper arms, brushing gently her skin in his path, ever so slowly, as delicate as he saw her. The scent of it was becoming intoxicating and he wished he could smell more, touch more, feel the thickness of the blood between his fingers, he wanted to taste her so badly. She smelled like lilies but would she taste like lilies too?

"Yuri." It escaped him, a murmur that he couldn't refrain from, it's all he was thinking about. Lily, Yuri. He didn't move, he didn't even try to act like nothing happened, he just fixated on the blood imprinting her skin. He hadn't smelled it in years but it smelled as divine as the first time he saw her. It was even more sacred than that day.

"What does Yuri mean?" She asked, clueless, as she stared at the bush where she actually hurt herself. Her voice startled him, he wasn't used to hearing her. He found that sweet, so sweet. She was all her blood was, he was sure of that and he wondered, for a second, if he wasn't just infatuated with her.

"Lily." He answered calmly, but if his heart was still actually beating he swore he would be breaking.

"Lily as the flower?" He only hummed at her as a form of answer. His thumb brushed the wound and she didn't react. He wished she would have hissed or whined, but she didn't, she only stayed still, staring at the bush. "Why?"

The more his thumb caressed her the more she relaxed into his touch, as if she wasn't terrified minutes before.

"Because-" He stopped, thinking of what he was about to say actually. "Just because. You don't need to know."

When he finally took his finger away, he brought it to his lips, allowing himself to taste, just for a bit, just a tidbit as his tongue licked it more than he should have.

The taste lingered in his mouth and thinking suddenly became hard, way too hard for the simple man he used to be. Worried by the absence of sounds he was making she turned back, facing him.

He looked at her from under, curled up on himself as he revelled himself in the flavour of her blood. Eyes dark and bloodshot, canines peeking through, long nails finishing his hands. When she realized what he was actually doing her eyes widened. His lips were stained with the liquid. For an unknown reason, she found him absolutely gorgeous. He looked so needy, it actually surprised her. How could the strong figure ensuring her at night look so weak under her like that?

Caught red-handed, he tried to compose himself to not lose the imposing presence he tried so hard to give himself these past few years. But the blood still on his lips, he couldn't behave decently. He felt so stupid, like a horny teenager, all he wanted was her.

Completely incautiously, she approached her fingers, wiping his lips and her blood away. When her fingers left his mouth he chased her, chased the heat of that alive body and the taste that was coming along, the taste he was losing. She could have touched his canine in that moment, she could have injured herself badly by unleashing that part of him. She hadn't noticed them but they were menacing to pierce through her weak skin and suck the life out of her. It's all he had been dreaming of all these years, he was so close to his goal, if only he dared to catch her.

But in the silence of the night a couple came to disturb their peace, distracting her attention away from him for a couple of seconds, acknowledging the two persons stepping into the garden. And when she eventually looked back at him he had disappeared, like he vanished into the night.

She cursed, startled by how quickly he was to leave. She knew he was able to do that, she was just not expecting him to do it tonight. She was so close, terrified but yet drowned to him, and now he faded without even telling her his name. She sighed, desperate as she sat on the edge of the fountain, trying to process what just had happened.

On his side, he cussed everybody who dared to put themself between himself and her. He was so close finally, if only he got a few more minutes he could have ravished her right here right now. How stupid he was to have hesitated even one second, he was getting weak and it was something that he couldn’t allow.

Following that event, the nights passed and looked all the same, dull, cold, and annoying. He didn't come for a total of nine nights, she counted them all. Nine nights were she was, in fact for the first time since her childhood, free from his gaze. She could have left, she could have brought someone home, she could have done all the things she doesn't dare to do when she knows he's lurking at her, but she did nothing.

On that ninth night though, she knew he was here. Despite the absence of melody, she could feel him, she could tell how disguised he was in the shadow, like he was actually for once ashamed of what he was doing. Because all he was, in fact, was a creep, lurking at a woman's window every night. And when it finally hit her all she could do was clench her legs. He was here for her, he was watching her every night, in that white nightgown, that little dress, revealing her naked body underneath, and he was here, and he was watching her.

Her legs clenched once again and she rolled into her bed, trying to chase her thoughts away but she was still feeling his presence. It was burning her, every ounce of the sheets her body was touching tingled. She rolled over and over, the image of that needy man, sucking on her blood, his fingers in his mouth like he was starving. She clenched her legs. Again. She was so petite under him, against the bush, her body hitting the thorns. Again. Was it the blood? Would he come for her if she was bleeding again? Again.

She wanted him to come for her, she wanted to ask him his name and feel his cold fingers on his arms once again.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She called for him, naturally, like he called for her but he didn't answer, he stayed in his darkness, unsure of what to do. Did she want him to devour her all? Did she know what he had planned to do?

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She called again, tempting him, playing with the little nerves he had.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

Like a plea, she called him, she called for his furtive touch, his calloused fingers, she called for him to get out of the darkness. And when he finally dared to step out of the corner, she realized that he wasn't outside like she thought he was. He was in her room. Like he did the first time he saw her wearing that ridiculous nightgown. Her eyes widened at her -expected- unexpected visitor.

He approached her bed as she straightened herself, switching positions to sit on her feet, revealing herself. His hands approached her face, his fingers caressing the top of her cheek and she shivered, the contact surprising her, his coldness contrasting with her hot body.

"Shh, it's too late to be afraid, Yuri." As always, his voice relaxed her and she leaned into his touch, her face chasing his hand until he cupped his whole cheek, his fingers reaching from behind her ears. His thumb stroked her face and she sighed, closing her eyes, like it was her missing piece. She didn't understand why but she felt herself ignite. She was burning and the more he gently caressed her face the more she was catching on fire.

In a movement, as furtive as always, he sat on the bed, the mattress not making a single sound as it was used to. When she finally opened her eyes back, she met his gaze and it all suddenly became hard to breathe. She wanted to call him, to whisper his name but she had no idea of who he was, so she only murmured a quiet "please." that looked more like a whine than anything else, it was a supplication. She didn't know what she was pleading for but she did, she needed to get freed from this, whatever it was, and she knew he was the one who was going to help her. It felt like evidence, he was the one who was going to free her from that painful agony.

"Please what? Tell me, my sweet lily." He asked, his free hand cupping her other cheek and she closed her eyes again, expecting a kiss that never came. Why would he have kissed her? She didn't know, but she knew he was about to, she saw it, she felt it, she-

"Kiss me." She asked for it, the words escaping her without her consent, like he compelled her to do so. "Please kiss me-"

She wanted to call his name again but was dismissed that right, her lack of knowledge of his person showing. It scared her once again, how ready she was to give herself to that man she barely knew, how she let him watch her all these years, it wasn't herself, she was scared of him but why did it feel so good at that very moment?

But thoughts became long forgotten when she felt his lips on her, chastely moving in rhythm, like another chord. It's all she needed to lose it, she didn't think anymore, a violent moan leaving her when he pressed himself even more on her. Their two bodies flopped on the bed, her back hitting the mattress as he quickly settled himself on top of her without ever breaking the kiss. He could have done whatever he wanted with her, she was putty in his hand at that very moment, she belonged to him the second he put his hands on her nine nights ago.

He kissed her as if his life depended on it, as if he wasn't already half-dead, he was drowning in her scent. The more he kissed her the more she whined into his arms, her scent becoming stronger and stronger. He was drunk on her, he could feel her blood rushing through her whole body, he could hear how fast her heart was beating, how hot and aroused she was just from his kisses. When he finally broke apart for real, letting her gasp for air, he analyzed her, the needy look she was giving him, as if she needed this as much as he did, as she didn't need to live, what was her life in comparison to man's touch?

She wanted to ask for his name again, and finally, as if he read her mind, he breathed out, his mouth drawn to her neck.

"Noah." His mouth attached itself, almost automatically to her skin and he dared, just so little, press his teeth against her carotid, enough to just feel the blood pump under his touch.

She tilted her head back at the contact, sighing. "Noah." She repeated and he nodded, smiling in the crook of her neck as he travelled on her body. She was smelling so good, he was going crazy, the more he approached her heart the more excited he was. His lips landed on her clavicle, her cleavage and when he finally dared reach that devil gown, who taunted him so many times, he ripped it, freeing her chest from the fabric. He almost moaned at the sight of her bare body, like it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his entire life, and it was. She was almost glowing in his eyes, like she was coming straight from heaven and he wondered how it was possible for a creature of the devil like him to be able to reach for the gods through her.

"Noah." She called again, cautiously, like these words would hurt her if she said them too fast or too loud.

He hummed against her, his head already diving into her chest, his lips attached to her left breast he sucked on it, feeling her heart pump under him, feeling the blood coming to his mouth as he sucked a bit more vividly. Until he sucked enough for his teeth to pierce through her skin, her blood escaping her without her being able to contest or fight. All she could feel was the euphoria that his touch was giving her.

The taste of her was like a relief, it was the best thing he ever put in his mouth, after centuries of existence. It was the sweetest of the nectars. When he was still human he recalled once drinking a wine called "The Wine of the Gods." The best one ever created. But he swore it was nothing compared to her. Nothing could compete with that delicate sweetness, she tasted like she smelled and he couldn't stop. He wondered if her pussy tasted the same, his intrusive thoughts battling against him and his will to feed. He couldn't get his teeth out of her breast but god- her pussy, scented as divine as her blood and he wanted to taste her so bad.

He opened his eyes back but it was too late, she was already too far away from her pleasure, drowning in all the sensations she was feeling. When he finally collected enough will he left her chest, not without regrets, to pamper her with kisses, travelling through her stomach to reach her bare pussy. She didn't bother herself with underwear at night and he couldn't be more glad for that.

He kissed her pelvis, his mouth not leaving her skin for more than a few seconds. And when he finally dared to settle between her legs, when she automatically spread them for him, all he wanted to do was thrust violently into her and bite her neck until she would cry from the pain. But he did nothing of that, he gently bit her inner thigh, delecting himself with the so little blood he took.

Finally deciding to put his hands to good use, he grabbed her by the hips, his fingers sinking in their fat as he pushed her to his face. She squirmed under him, her hands reaching for his hair by instinct. All she wanted was to push him more and more on her, begging him to speed up his pace. She was dying for his touch, completely compelled and mesmerized by her predator, just like he wanted her.

But the predator liked to play too much. He only teased her, keeping his slow motions, nice and gentle, groaning when she would moan a little bit louder or push him a little bit too hard.

He was quick to get how her body worked and how she reacted in a certain way. Soon he had his two hands grabbing her legs to put them on his shoulders, his tongue pressed against her cunt with such fervour. His nose rubbed her clit, making her moan. Her hands immediately left his hair to cover her mouth, refraining from her sounds but he was quick to move, leaving his spot between her legs to reach her face, grabbing her hands to move them away from her mouth.

"Let me hear you Yuri, let me hear the holy sounds you make." Quickly, he regained his place back, his tongue pushing itself on her folds as she moaned again.

He was cold, all of his being was freezing but it was enough to make her burn under his touch. She desired him in a way that she never desired anybody, and yet she felt so away that she wasn't sure it was her who was feeling all these emotions. Her heart was ready to explode as she pushed his head deeper against her core. She moaned and he answered back, groaning vividly between her legs.

The closer she grew to her orgasm the sweeter she tasted, it was intoxicating, it was all too much. Until she came, rocking her hips on his face, quivering between his hands and crying his name for her own sake, to remember something tangible, like all of this was real. Because she felt completely out of her body, her conscience tore apart from herself.

Nonetheless, he kept eating her, he couldn't get enough of her scent, of her taste. If he wasn't a starved man before he definitely was one now. He only pulled apart when he heard her cry his name out, completely overstimulated. And when he finally dared to look at her he understood how fucked he was. Because there was no way he was turning back now, there was no way he was letting her run free into the wild again. He just needed her body over his, he needed to be inside of her for real, to feel her alive around him. At that very moment, he didn't care about anything else, he needed to feel how warm she was, how alive she was compared to him. And when he finally achieved that feeling, when he finally thrusted into her without a care in the world he almost immediately came from the sensation. Nothing ever made him feel alive like that, even not when he was actually alive.

She cried for him but at this point, every sound she made was long forgotten, he was already gone. He heard her heart beating, like a psychotic melody. It was maddening, the more he thrusted the more he heard it.

D♭, G♭, E♭ₘ and A♭ₘ.

She kept crying of pleasure, reaching for his embrace and when he finally held her between his arms she was ready to give up on her life. It was feeling all too good to be true, it wasn't her, she knew it, he was only chasing his own pleasure yet she was reaching her climax so quickly. Something wasn't right but it was too late to notice. Her arms around his back she held him closer, tightening her grasp on him to comfort herself.

She was doomed. She knew it, it was the end. She cried out, from the pain this time as she acknowledged her situation. He held her closer, feasting on her supplications, one of his hands reaching for her face, his thumb brushing away some tears."Shhh, it's okay Yuri. It's too late now." and before she could come he bit violently into her neck, the pain awakening immediately. It was violent, brutal, nothing like before. She felt her life escape her without being able to do anything while he continued to fete on her, unable to stop drinking from her, years of starvation just for that instant. But for him, it was all worth it, nothing had ever been as worth it as it was. It was delicious, excruciating all of his senses. He never felt so great in so many years. He loved those who were pure enough to be maidens, they really were a gift from the gods, descended straight from heaven and he was bringing her back to where she belonged. Away from the monstrosities of the earth. Away from himself who belonged to hell. Varney.

The chords used are from Masquerade by Versailles.

[musical-posts]

Ok first off I want to say that this is like the coolest gimmick blog I've seen! Like, it seems like it was tailor made for me. I looooove music theory and notes and midi files and algorithms and python scrips so much like those are for realsies my favorite things. you're cool as fuck.

But anyway i immediately started thinking about what you could do to make the songs a little more song-y and unique from each other, and the first thing I thought of was rhythm. I started trying to think of a way to generate rhythms as well as melodies from the posts and low key i think I figured out a good way?

Basically, if each word in the post is 1 beat, the amount of note-letters in that word is how you divide up that beat. So if a word has one note-letter, then it would be a quarter note, but in a word with 2 note-letters, they would be a pair of eighth notes. And so on with triplets and sixteenth notes etc. I also came up with a few procedural variations to this that allow for some more interesting rhythms, which are all shown on my drawing :)

I also tested this system out on this post! I did it by hand which. took a long time. And I just used musescore bc that's what I have and bc my brain is suuuper wired for seeing things as sheet music. Here's the music for that post and i think tumblr will let me put an audio file in an ask so here's what it sounds like too!

low key it kind of fucks!!! or at least sounds better than i expected LMAO

Anyway all that being said, I've never done any python that deals with creating midi files and I have no clue how it works, so this might be a Huge Pain In The Ass jfdkfjslk. And of course there's no pressure to use or care about any of this for the blog!! if you are interested in doing something like this for a future version of the script, I'm happy to try and help figure it out/poke around in code etc, and if not, then I thought it'd be cool to show you anyway!

Hope you're having just an awesome day!

here's that other approach i mentioned earlier! i honestly might lean towards this one just because it could lean towards some really interesting rhythms. also i'm a sucker for triplets lol

[sonamytrash]

Catch up, part two

Yuta Okkotsu x fem reader.

Warnings/tags: Slightly older reader implied, only slightly, Shy Yuta, Pining, mutual pining, reunion, kissing, fluff.

Next chapter will probably be smut. But I wanted to write some adorable dithering Yuta.

Part one, here

Banner by @cafekitsune

A few years had gone by, and the school changed so much and yet so little each and every time Yuta passed through the establishment. New students arrived, while others graduated and set off on their own paths. The seasons shifted, the leaves on the trees turning from green to gold before falling away, only to be replaced by a fresh canopy each spring. Yet, in the quiet moments, Yuta's thoughts often drifted to you, to the promise you had left behind.

Yuta's power grew exponentially, as did his confidence. His feelings for you remained, a quiet constant in his otherwise chaotic life. The news of your return from England was met with a mix of excitement and anxiety. Would things be different? Would you still see him as that awkward, inexperienced student, or now being an actively working sorcerer, had he caught up?

Yuta waited anxiously by the gates, his heart racing in his chest. He had changed since you last saw him. His frame had filled out, and his eyes held a newfound strength. The young man who had once stuttered in your presence had become a force to be reckoned with. He had proven himself on countless missions, his name whispered with a mix of awe and respect.

The sleek black car pulled up, and the door opened. You stepped out, looking as radiant as ever. The years had been kind to you, adding a certain maturity to your beauty that only served to make you more alluring. He wasn't a complete shut in, he had seen your photos on social media these past few years, and you had kept in touch, but seeing you here and now was something else.

Yuta's heart skipped a beat as you looked around, your gaze eventually landing on him. You offered a small smile, the corners of your eyes crinkling with the warmth of recognition. He took a step forward, his hand reaching out to help you with your luggage. "Welcome back, Senpai," he said, his voice steady now.

You took his hand, your grip firm but gentle. "Thank you, Okkotsu-kun," you replied, your voice carrying the same melody that had captivated him all those years ago. "It's good to be back."

The first few days were a whirlwind of catch-ups and briefings. You were immediately thrown back into the fray of life as a sorcerer here in Tokyo, and Yuta found himself in awe of your unyielding dedication to your work and readability. It was as if no time had passed at all, yet everything felt different. Your interactions had a new depth to them, a knowing glance here, a lingering touch there.

It wasn't like you hadn't had time to talk and catch up since arriving back, but the right moment had yet to present itself for him to ask the questions he wanted to.

One evening, after the sun had set and the school was shrouded in a gentle blanket of twilight, Yuta mustered his courage to wait at the gates for you. "Senpai," he began upon seeing you. "Would you mind if I walked you home?"

You raised an eyebrow, a hint of amusement playing on your lips. "It's not far," you said, your voice teasing. "But I wouldn't say no to the company."

The air was cool, a stark contrast to the heat of the day, and the crickets sang a soothing lullaby as you both walked. "How have you been, really?" you asked, your eyes searching his.

Yuta took a deep breath, the air carrying the scent of blooming flowers and the faint hint of incense from a nearby shrine. "I've been busy," he said, his eyes meeting yours. "But I've missed you."

You nodded, a soft smile playing on your lips. "I've missed you too," you admitted. You stepped closer, your gaze meeting his. "I've had some time to think about what you said before I left."

Yuta's heart raced as he looked into your eyes, searching for a clue to what you were feeling. The air between you was charged with tension, and the moonlight had begun to bathe your face in a soft, ethereal glow. Surely a goddess amongst men he thought. "And?" he prompted, his voice barely audible.

You took a deep breath, the silence stretching out like a tightrope between the two of you. "And," you began, "I think it's time we explore those feelings.

Yuta's heart felt like it might burst out of his chest, his eyes wide with surprise. "Really?" he whispered, his voice filled with hope.

You nodded, your eyes sparkling with a mix of affection and amusement. "We're both adults now, with more experience under our belts," you said. "We can handle the complexities of our situation better."

Yuta felt his heart soar, and he couldn't help but let out a nervous chuckle. "I suppose so," he agreed, his cheeks still flushed.

The confession he had held onto for so long had finally been heard, and you were willing to explore it. The weight of his unrequited love lifted from his shoulders, replaced by a flutter of excitement in his stomach. "What do we do now?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, his thoughts escaping his lips before he had time to process what he was saying.

You laughed, the sound like a melody that danced in the stillness of the night. "Well, for a start, stop calling me 'Senpai' all the time," you teased, a playful glint in your eye. "It makes me feel old."

Yuta's cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, and he nodded, a grin spreading across his face. "y/n," he said, testing the sound of your name on his tongue. It felt right, intimate.

You chuckled at his reaction, taking a step towards him, the sound of your laughter sending shivers down his spine. "That's better," you said, your voice a gentle purr.

Without another word, you leaned in, your eyes closed. Yuta's eyes remained open, drinking in the sight of your face, your lips so close to his. And then, you kissed him. It was gentle, almost tentative, but it sent a jolt of electricity through his body. The world around you both seemed to fall away, leaving only the two of you standing under the stars.

Yuta's arms instinctively wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer, his heart thumpimg in his chest. He had dreamt of this moment, but the reality was so much more intoxicating than he could have ever imagined. You melted into the embrace, your hands coming up to cup his cheeks as you smiled into the kiss, your thumbs tracing the line of his jaw.

When you finally pulled away, Yuta's eyes searched yours, looking for any sign of regret. But what he found was something entirely different—desire, the same desire that was reflected by his own. "Let's not waste any more time," you murmured, your voice a sultry whisper.

[nikutsuneart]

Hello!

So, I have a question, and it might just be me being Stupid, or not remembering right, but I always found it odd that Kairi was one of the three keys to finding Sora, according to the Fairy Godmother at the end of Melody of Memory.

I understand Riku being one: he's got the dream, the Dream Eater Link and the Power of Waking to actually cross the portal.

I understand Nameless Star being one: she's the one from Quadratum and the only one who can create the portal Riku needs.

But I don't understand how Kairi's memories are actually important. Is it simply a matter of understanding what Quadratum is (Unreality) in order for Riku to safely go through?

Maybe I'm missing something crucial, but I feel like Fairy Godmother could have just sent Riku off immediately when she told him about his dream in Radiant Garden. It almost feel like they included Kairi just to exclude her even more.

Anyway, love your stuff! Take care! Bye!

Hey there! No, I don't think you missed anything.

So I think most people would simply chalk it up to them having some kind of special connection, but then miss the rest of what they were showing us. And while I think they could have moved things forward literally any other way and had the same result, (ie fairy godmother just taking riku to nameless star post important dream revelation) I think they were taking this opportunity to make a few things clear;

playing directly into that expectation of a Big Special Connection, they make a point out of the fact that searching her heart resulted in nothing by way of any direct lead to Sora despite being at it for a year. ("You seek clues to Sora's whereabouts by using your memories of him to search through your own heart. But there's nothing for you to find here.")

it's a simple opportunity to glimpse a bit more into her past, what's lurking beneath the surface of her memories and what happened to her. This is what actually gives them a clue.

making it painfully clear that riku is leaving, in fact he's already left, and that he's going alone. (though they definitely could have made up any better reason to shelve her than "training" lol)

Also this isn't to say Sora and Kairi don't have a special connection! Obviously Sora shows up and takes the reigns for a hot minute (whatever that was), I just mean that their connection may not be what's assumed, by kairi (even riku, hence his initial hesitancy and confusion) and the audience, yknow???

Anyway yeah, it just kinda is what it is. Like, these cutscenes in khmom were decided upon suddenly and rather late in the project. Originally it was just going to be chirithy narrating so I think it was genuinely just an opportunity to give Kairi a little bit of somethin' vs the usual nothin'. A little somethin that doesn't really hurt anything aside from maybe people's expectations lol;;

[ohworm-writes]

Hi! I'm sorry if you're not doing requests, but if you are, I full heartedly believe that, in private, schlatt loves to just hold you and cuddle. He had a bad day? His head is on your chest for or nuzzle into your neck. Watching a movie? He has you on his lap or pulled tightly next to him, jambo snuggling in. I just need someone to bring this to life so I can read it over and over 😤🥺

◧▥—JSCHLATT AND PHYSICAL AFFECTION—▥◨

Pairing: Jschlatt x Gn!Reader

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: None!

Synopsis: A simple assortment of headcanons related comprising of Schlatt’s views of physical affection and his love for cuddles.

Word Count: 0.9k

Author’s Note: Sorry, I’m just so mentally I’ll when it comes to him. I love him with everything in me and this ask has been rolling around in my brain for months but I had no clue on how to approach it. Hope you enjoy this anon. 🫶❤️ This kind of sucks though, sorry.

Schlatt does not enjoy public displays of affection whatsoever.

He gets severely uncomfortable whenever he sees couples out in public with their hands all over each because, while it may be sweet, those acts are better left private.

And even in his own relationship, he’s extremely hesitant. The most you’ll get is a hand on the small of your back or something of the like. A touch that appears to be platonic while it may have romantic intention.

However, this being said: whenever he’s in the comfort of his own home or, even generally speaking, in a private space, he’s much more comfortable and willing to indulge in acts like these.

He loves pressing soft kisses to your forehead and trailing his fingers along your skin. All of these are acts of physical affection that he adores.

But above all? He absolutely loves cuddling with his partner.

While his hands and feet may be naturally cooler, this man runs like a furnace. He’s a space heater, through and through.

But trailing back, he adores laying in bed with you, his loving partner, arms wrapped around you with his face pressed into your chest. He’ll lay there for hours, not a care in the world about what may be happening elsewhere or anything of the like, solely and simply focused on the way your body feels when it breathes. The rise and slow fall of your chest. The soft breaths you exhale. All of it.

Or, what about resting his head on your shoulder as he hugs you from behind? Breathing in and exhaling slowly as he relaxes into you, body like putty against your back. He’ll interlock his fingers together with yours, holding them towards your stomach as he stands and sways in silence with you.

Or even acts as mundane as watching television or movies! He’ll have an arm wrapped around your center as you lay with your back pressed against his stomach, the back of your head to his chest. His free hand would trail featherlight designs against your skin, swirls and lines and shapes in every design.

And of course, we can’t forget Jambo. That precious boy is a lovebug as well. He’s constantly rubbing against your legs and body wherever you are, insisting on laying in your lap or on your chest or something of the like.

Schlatt gets jealous at times, but he’d never admit that. Him? Jealous of his own feline companion snuggling up with his partner? (Okay, maybe, but he’d never admit that).

Picture this:

You would be silently sitting at your desk, body hunched over the edge with one arm propping up your head as you try desperately to focus on paperwork, eyes shifting in and out of focus. Your breath would come out slow, calm, and there would be music playing and ringing through your ears, the melodies working to keep you attention on the task at hand.

Schlatt would be caught up in a similar situation, leaning over his desk as he types out on his computer the script for a new video he has planned. And he’d be so bored, so out of it that he can’t will himself to concentrate anymore. You both would have been at your respective tasks for hours, in the same room no less, and he’d grow sick of it.

So, what would he do? He would take off his headphones, carefully placing them down on his desk as he would push his chair out and stand up. He would carefully walk over to you, having your back turned to him as he approaches. And while you can feel his heavy footsteps rumble behind you, you’re so focused on trying to focus that you can’t really will yourself to care.

And he would just, ever so carefully, place his head between the crook of your neck, eyes trained on the way your hands write out a few words before crossing them out a few moments later. He would bring his arms to hook together in front of your stomach, pressing his body against the chair and slumping over you. He would turn his head downwards and press a kiss to your skin before letting his eyes shift back up to look at your work.

And he would just tell you to give it a rest, to come and lay down with him because he can’t stand this situation anymore. And don’t you dare try to deny him, because he will pick you up if that’s what it takes.

He’d lead you to bed, arms still wrapped around you and on you, and he’d maneuver himself so that you both would be laying on your sides. You would have him, head below his chin with your arms wrapped around each other and legs slotted against one another. He’d press one hand to your back, rubbing up and down every so often, with the other trailing doodles against the plush skin of your thigh.

And the scene is so peaceful, so full of love that he gets lost in it.

Who said that, that’s crazy. Certainly not me-

But in all seriousness, he’s so touchy in private, but only in private. He still hates showing public affection, but in private he’s all for it.

And although he never asks directly, it’s almost like you can tell whenever he wants or needs to be held close. Pure expression of love that it hurts.

He’s rude and mean, obviously. And that’s how he shows love. But sometimes, all he needs is to hold his partner close, press innocent kisses against them as he murmurs about something that doesn’t matter.

Because that’s what peace is. And he loves every second of it.

[kairiscorner]

“promise me you won't change. — kento nanami x reader”

summary: after catching up with you, 10 years after you two first met, nanami feels all weirdly sentimental and... he wishes you can stay as happy as you are, now, even if he isn't the reason why you stayed as amazing, as friendly and optimistic as you were back then in high school. word count: 2,008 (i got carried away) genre: angst.

he stares into his glass full of sake, the ripples in the drink fanning out as he does nothing but hold the drink. he doesn't feel thirsty, but his mouth is dry; he hasn't felt this way in a while, at least not this strongly. you look over at him and scoot a little closer. "hey, you okay, nanami?" you ask him, hoping he didn't feel too sleepy that he can't go home on his own. his eyelids are hooded and slowly blinks, though he doesn't look drunk, in fact, he hasn't even drank the sake—he's just... kind of out of it. you have no idea what nanami's been up to for the past 10 years, and uncharacteristically of you, you don't ask him right away. you hesitate and drift the conversation to small talk, which you're very aware he still hates.

he's always been the reserved fellow, he'd answer you in a blunt, straightforward way, he would spare as much details about himself as he could, which made it all the more harder for you to connect with him. nanami's golden brown eyes shifted to see you staring at him, with him raising his eyebrows and exhaling as he leaned back on the couch. "...i'm fine." he mumbles out as he lifts the glass to his thin lips.

he looks like a corpse, a ghost even—he's alive, but he's not... living.

you couldn't feel any more pity for him, though you felt guilty for feeling that way because, what did you know about him? you re-enter his life by accident 10 years after high school, and all of a sudden, you seem to care about him enough to take him to a local bar and hope he drinks at least so you don't feel any more crappy about the awkward situation you two are in tonight. you nod without even looking at him and down your drink, sighing as you drank it all in one gulp, wiping away the drops of your drink that was left on your lips. you call for a waiter to get you two more drinks, while nanami ends up staring at you now, and takes in all that'd changed about you. you looked more mature, that was a given; it seemed adulthood didn't plague you as much as it did for him, it was a miracle you even recognized him when you encountered him at that bakery one day. it was his haircut that made you recognize him, strangely enough; the 7:3 ratio was distinguishable in your eyes no matter how nanami styled it.

nanami broke the silence that lingered for a few minutes after the waiter got you two more drinks. "why did you... invite me out tonight?" he asked you with a fatigue in his tone, he was undoubtedly tired from nearly everything, everything, it seemed, except for you. he didn't feel as forced to go with you, it felt like a splash of cool water was thrown in his face when you pulled him out of his daily routine and offered to catch up with him over some drinks at a local bar.

you let out a soft sigh as you lower your glass and looked at him with a gentle smile on your bright face. nanami could never forget that smile, it stuck with him and was buried deep in the recesses of the back of his mind ever since those 10 years had passed—you shone the whole room with that smile, it was contagious; and nanami felt his face getting warmer, not because of the sting of the alcohol, but because of how genuine you seemed to him. "to be honest... i haven't the slightest clue either why i invited you." you admitted shyly, chuckling lowly to yourself as you shook your glass in a circular motion, laughing a little at the irony of it all.

"i guess... i just wanted to see how much things have changed." you uttered softly, and those words struck chords in nanami's heart; chords that played a familiar melody that resounded back to his adolescence with you, one of the only people who really made his time in high school worthwhile and less like hell. "and i can tell, you haven't changed, nanamin. yeah you, uh... kinda look like you could be a dad or someone's uncle now, but... you're still the same kento nanami i knew from high school; the same serious, stern boy who struggled having fun and had a thing for bread. i'm glad you're still you, nanamin; but you're... kinda refined now. is that weird to say?" you ask him, chuckling as the drunkenness settles in, with you taking another sip from your drink as nanami feels his cheeks flush at your words.

you don't even notice his blush, and even if you did, you'd've brushed it off as a flush of drunkenness—but it's not.

nanami leans forward a little and folds his arms over the table, ignoring the weird stickiness of it and brings his small brown eyes up to look at you, who's been staring at him the whole time in a slight, drunk daze.

"...i'm glad you didn't change, either." he mumbles, slowly rubbing at his eyes after he said that, sighing deeply. why did he say that? who was he to say that? after years of not reaching out to you, sweeping under the rug the fact you two were friends, very close friends in fact—forgetting your name sometimes when you both swore to each other to come through for the other if either of you were ever in trouble...

...it probably was to be expected, adolescents never know what real trouble is in the adult world; the awful mundanity of every day life was a subtle trouble that became permanent, with neither of you being able to save the other from it, or the traumas of what transpired in your high school years.

you laughed aloud and set you drink down, oh that laugh of yours... nanami could listen to you laugh all day and night, and he'd never get sick of it—he'd only wanna make you laugh even more, even if it was the stupidest thing to ever laugh at for someone in the right state of mind.

"you're glad i'm still sweet and naive?" you jokingly asked him with a snicker, emptying out your glass as nanami shook his head, maintaining eye contact with you. "not that... i mean... you're still so bright. so eager, so friendly. you're still you." he muttered, feeling a weird heaviness plaguing his heart. it wasn't a curse grabbing onto his chest right now, it was more like an intangible one, a purely emotional one that was his alone—it was a melancholic longing for someone who was right in front of him, you.

"you're... still the person i love. and i wish... you won't ever get hurt again, even if... i can't save you all the time. i want to, though, but..." he mumbled out, with you not hearing since you were already getting a lot more drunk. nanami didn't hope for you to hear it, at least partially—if anything... he hopes you wouldn't change, but not because he confided in your drunk self that he's still in love with you, his closest friend and ally that he regrets never meeting up with, wasting those 10 years without you in his life.

as you call for a waiter to come over and refill your glass, nanami takes your glass away from you, much to your disdain, pays the bill, and helps you up carefully as he takes you out of the bar, calling a cab for the two of you so he could help take you and your drunken self home.

during the cab ride, nanami made sure to keep you warm, to let you rest against him to feel comfortable, and to hold you a little whenever the cab drove over a pothole. he looked at you with such soft eyes as you dozed off, with him brushing the hair away from your face, berating himself for taking this long to see you again when you... you had the courage to talk to him, after all this time.

"...i have the feeling that saving you once won't make up for the 10 years i've spent without you. i want... to be yours." he whispered as he adjusted his coat on you, making up in his mind that he's letting you keep it, no questions asked. nanami managed to get you to your home, he paid attention when you told him where you lived by, should he ever visit you, as you put it. nanami would love to visit you, but... he's scared. he's scared that his first visit may be his last; and that might be too pessimistic of him, but realistically speaking, now that he's revisiting the world of jujutsu sorcery and has a new responsibility over the students at jujutsu high...

...it's not far off that he might never be able to visit you again, that tonight might be your last night together—nobody knows.

you drunkenly told nanami where you kept your spare key, after almost half an hour of you telling him he looks like he skipped 20 years of his life over those 10 years of you two not meeting. nanami sat you down on the couch and made sure you were comfy; surely, you could take care of yourself in the morning. nanami didn't need to overstep any boundaries here—entering your apartment while you were drunk, even to help you in, was already too much in his opinion; he didn't want to invade any more of your privacy.

"wait... aren't you... gonna say good bye?" you mumbled out in a slurred voice, calling out to nanami before he closed the door to your apartment to lock it from the outside, uncertain if he'll ever come back again. his brown eyes dart over to you, stirring over by the couch, groaning and grumbling for him to bid you goodbye. you were always like that, asking him for a farewell every time before you two parted—another thing he regret not giving you before 10 years had passed without ever seeing you until now.

he clutched the doorknob tightly, not wanting to say goodbye; but he owed you this much, more, even. "...good bye." he uttered, as if he felt cuts all over his body when he muttered those two words. you giggled and waved your hand at him with a lopsided grin on your face, telling him, "bye-bye!" as he closed the door and locked it, putting your spare key back where it was.

nanami inhaled the cold evening air and walked down the stairs of your apartment, despite every voice in his mind urging him to go back and to keep you company for the night—to stay with you until morning, care for you if you're hungover, and tell you when you're sober, when you can remember everything, that he loves you.

...but even if he loves you, he can't stay.

he is the same, the same kento nanami; he, who never stayed.

he, who could never stay.

he, who loves you dearly, but can never stay long enough to let you know that.

he, who could never live with himself if you got attached to him again... only to lose him once more, permanently.

if he could at least have things in his life go the way he wants it, for once... he hopes that if he leaves again, permanently or not... you'll live your life in peace, even without him.

"forget me, and be happy... the two things in life i ask for, and won't ever ask for anything more." he mutters to himself as a single tear rolled down his chiseled cheek, and fell down on the ground beneath his feet; a memento of him, which like him... would never be able to stay.

🍞 tags !! @rohansdisciple @meeom @patchi-chi

[daydreaming-in-letters]

Moment's Silence

02/03/2023

Pairing: Andrew (Hozier) x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,699

Warnings: rpf, language, oral (m receiving), mentions of future sexy times

Summary: Tired and overworked, Andrew has promised not to stay up all night again. When he still does, there is only one cure to ease his mind.

A/N: What is there to say? That song really is rather inspiring...

Picture by kirklai via Unsplash (edited)

If you like my story, you are very welcome to like, comment or reblog. No permission is given to copy, repost or share my work on other platforms.

She awoke with a shiver. Instead of his arms, she was wrapped in darkness. The gentle sound of his soft breathing substituted with the whooshing of heavy rain. She didn’t need any light to confirm that the bed beside her was empty, but to find that it hadn’t been touched tonight at all startled her a little.

It wasn’t unusual for him to work at this hour and then sleep through most of the day, but he had promised to go to bed earlier tonight, and Andrew was the kind of person who valued a promise.

She couldn’t deny that his recklessness angered her a little, maybe even more than the broken promise. He had looked so tired and worn already, still over the past days he had dedicated even more hours to his work, hiding himself away in his studio until—as she feared—he would hit the point of complete exhaustion.

With a huff she pushed the blanket off of herself and a silent curse escaped her lips as the cold night air hit her bare legs. This was insufferable, she thought, as she tiptoed her way through the nightly house, wave after wave of goosebumps rolling over her body.

She had almost made it, only a few more steps to the studio, when the soft sound of his guitar suddenly reached her ears. From far away, it seemed, hearing how faint it was, and from the other end of the house.

Her forehead wrinkling in astonishment, she turned around to follow the tune. It lead her straight to the living room where the sheen of dim light that fell through the door gave her the second clue to his whereabouts.

Gently she laid her hand against the wood and pushed it open, slowly, quietly, even though she felt more like storming inside like an angry mob. But she reminded herself that she wanted to have a stern word with him, not scare him to death.

He was sitting on the sofa, guitar in his lap, strumming away while humming a sweet melody. She loved when he did that. There was something magic about the soft vibrations that rose from his throat, something so soothing that her anger washed away in an instant. Even more so when he noticed her and a pair of tired eyes found her still standing in the doorway. The hint of a smile curled his lips, just a bit, but the affection it held was clear to see. But then, together with the music, it fell away and guilt washed over his face.

“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

His voice was tender and genuine, enough to silence even the last remains of her anger.

“You didn’t. Technically, it was more of your absence that woke me.”

The pained expression on his face told her that didn’t make a difference to him. He had disrupted her sleep by breaking his promise and it bothered him.

“Andrew, what are you doing still up this late? You’re already running on empty.”

“I know, I just can’t wrap my head around…”

He halted mid-sentence as he watched her walk over to him.

“And you won’t tonight. Not with how drained you are.”

She wasn’t met with any resistance as she took the guitar out of his hands and sat it down on the ground. With the instrument out of the way, she didn’t hesitate to take its place and straddle his lap. Loving hands welcomed her, gliding along her exposed thighs with a contented hum. Further and further they ventured, disappearing underneath the hem of her sleeping shirt, travelling across her hips until they found their final resting place on her behind.

He smiled up at her, obviously very pleased with his trove, and there was no way she could resist the lure of his enticing lips any longer. They were as soft as ever, moving unhurriedly with hers, and she could feel the first signs that he finally began to relax.

Not enough though. If she were to ask him to come to bed with her now, he would still decline. She knew him long enough to know that it would need more to make him see reason and tear him away from his beloved music for a few hours.

And so her lips left his, her body gliding through his hands on her way down until her knees met the ground between his feet. Eager fingers went to work immediately, unbuttoning his jeans and slowly pulling down the zipper while her gaze held his.

“What are you doing, love?”

“Helping you relax, Andrew,” she breathed against his stomach before her lips pressed to the small line of hair that vanished underneath the hem of his pants. Carefully she freed him, pulling his clothes all the way down into a pool around his ankles. He moaned, his eyes falling closed for a moment as her hands eased up his legs again. First over his calves, enjoying the flex of his muscles underneath his fuzzy skin, then even slower along his thighs. She could see him twitch in anticipation the closer her fingers got, already growing, hardening under her avid gaze.

A sigh broke from his lips when her mouth found the inside of his thigh, kissing its way up the length of it at a torturously tardy pace. She could feel his eyes on her long before she decided to abandon his silky skin and wasn’t surprised in the least to find them begging her silently to end his anguish.

She had never been able to resist the mossy green of his eyes, and so she yielded. Warm fingers wrapped around his half-hardened erection, stroking, pumping until it had reached its full size. The sight made her mouth water and even if she had wanted to make him wait a little longer, she couldn’t. Lips opening to welcome him inside, her head dove down into his lap.

She hummed the second she could feel him on her tongue, hard and heavy, the familiar taste sending a rush of desire through her whole body. Warmth flooded her core, her hunger for him doubling the second his response invaded her ears.

He sighed her name, so shaky and needy, turning into a hiss as she hollowed her cheeks and sucked him in deeper. With a thud his back hit the soft cushions behind him while his face vanished behind his hands. But just like she couldn’t resist bringing him more pleasure, it seemed he couldn’t resist the view in front of him, and so his hands fell away and he watched in awe how her tongue swirled around him, licking up his shaft, gliding over the tip before it retreated and her lips wrapped around him once more.

She took him in deep this time, a harsh curse breaking the silence as he hit the back of her throat. With a pop she pulled away, gasping for air before she repeated the ritual, then again, and again, and again.

“Baby, please. I—”

He groaned as her free hand found his balls, cupping them, slowly kneading the sensitive area. All the while she kept on pleasuring him, her hand stroking up and down his cock, taking turns with her mouth that sucked him in, tongue hitting his tip every now and then as an extra treat.

It wasn’t long before she could feel him tighten in her hand, just a little at first, but then more and more with every stroke. His sounds of passion grew louder as well, the perfect litany of sweet hums and sighs mixed with lewd curses, an enchanting song he only ever sang for her.

It crescendoed in a beautiful, drawn-out moan and she answered with the same sound of appreciation when he started to pulse on her tongue. She took everything he gave her, savouring each thick drop until the tension finally left his body and his song ebbed away.

Slender fingers cupped her cheeks, still a bit shaky, but drawing her attention nonetheless. He was just looking at her with a placid smile, watching as she released him from her mouth. His mouth fell open a little, just like hers when his thumb found her bottom lip in a gentle caress.

“Come here,” he whispered and it didn’t escape her attention how wonderfully low the tone of his voice had become. Low and honeyed, a bit hoarse as well, and that was all her doing, her triumph.

He helped her up, his hands finding her face again the second she had taken her former position on his lap to pull her in for a deep kiss. He moved slowly, devouring her properly. Her reward for being so good to him. But hidden beneath all his love and affection, she could taste the weariness on his tongue.

Still, despite the adamant claim of his body, he tenderly whispered against her lips, “Let me return the favour.”

Oh how she would have loved to give in, to feel that strong muscle pressed against her needy sex, feasting on her until every last thought was cleared from her mind and all that remained was pure, calming nothingness. But one look into those overtired orbs of green was enough to remind her what she had to do. Why she had left her bed and come down here in the first place.

“Not now, my love. What you need right now is sleep.”

He scrunched his nose, clearly displeased with her answer. She of all people knew that he liked his woman satisfied, blissed out and spent before she fell asleep in his arms. But not tonight.

“You know, there’s always tomorrow. And I sure wouldn’t mind waking up to the sight of your gorgeous face between my thighs.”

Her lips pressed to his forehead in a tender kiss and when she drew away, she found the most beautiful smile on his lips.

“You’re right, love. Let’s head to bed.” He sat up, still he refused to loosen his embrace just yet. Instead he leaned in until she could feel his lips softly brush against her ear. “Sunrise can’t come soon enough.”

[beomgyuslilracha]

you don't go to parties ☆.* 4

⊹ pairing: choi yeonjun x f! reader

⊹ genre: exes to ... complicated

⊹ warnings: none?

⊹ wc: 4k

summary: back in your college days, you were living at the prime of your life alongside your boyfriend, yeonjun. you couldn't remember most of it, though, considering it was a blur consisting of mostly parties and many drunken nights. eventually, you reached your limit, and you and yeonjun no longer saw eye-to-eye. after many fights and endless tears, you disappeared for good and left that life and your boyfriend behind. but, five years later, yeonjun was still waiting for you at every party.

when the following day came and went with nothing to show for it, you presumed it safe to assume that the secret admirer fiasco was nothing but a complete misunderstanding.

not that you were even remotely surprised. with no card attached or even a clue as to who the silver-haired mystery person was, it only made sense that it all ended up being one big mistake.

that wasn't to say that it wasn't a little disheartening anyway when the next day came along with no delivery at reception.

or the next day.

or the next...

your gaze from the computer monitor traveled over to land on the floral arrangement, which now resided beautifully in a vase atop of your desk. a small sigh escaped your lips as you caressed one of the blooming petals, feeling slightly ridiculous for partially hoping to be surprised with another gift again.

not that it was through any fault of your own! you couldn't remember the last time anyone had gone out of their way to cutely buy you any gifts, so you couldn't help being a little greedy for another.

"do you want me to get you something, y/nie?" kai had asked you that afternoon, having spotted you staring longingly at the reception desk as you walked by — secretly hoping for miss mina to call for you. "i can get you more flowers!"

your frown had quickly perked into an appreciative smile as you looked back over at your adorable friend. "that's so sweet, but you don't need to do that, kai," you assured him, though you felt your heart flip a little at the thought.

"you're right, i should've just done it without telling you." kai's brows furrowed together as if he were truly upset with himself.

this made you laugh as you two entered the elevators, and it was the most beautiful sound kai had ever heard. he loved it even more knowing that he was the reason behind the melody, and he would give anything to do it again and again.

as he silently pondered over what kind of gift he wanted to surprise you with, you made sure to pull out your phone and remind beomgyu to meet you both in their usual practice room.

you and kai had just returned from the KBS broadcasting hall, where kai would be special hosting on music bank this week and beomgyu would be there to determine his place on the k-charts for his most recent EP release.

with work ahead of the three of you for the remainder of the day, you were able to distract your mind from being disappointed about the nonexistence of your 'secret admirer'. even though you pretended you weren't bothered by it, it would still silently sit at the back of your mind as a small 'what if' every time you walked through the lobby.

it was for the better, of course - allowing you to finally focus on more important things and forget all about it.

and you almost did!

up until the next day, when you were strolling into the office to visit kai for a last minute fitting for music bank tomorrow, that your attention was suddenly called for in the lobby.

"miss y/nnn~" mina's sing-song voice called for you from behind reception, her pursed lips finding it difficult to suppress the grin desperately trying to break through.

"yess?" you monotonously mimicked her singing, a little wary of her good mood as you strolled over to the front desk.

it took her no less than a second to reveal a heart-shaped box of chocolates from behind her back. "look who came to deliver another gift for you!" she announced giddily, handing over the sweets into your hesitant hands.

you were more than ready to deny the gift, assuming it to be a mistake yet again, but that's when you noticed the cursive font of your name printed atop of the attached card.

A CARD??

you could feel the pounding of your heart in your eardrums as you stared down at it.

"did- did you happen to recognize who it was that dropped it off?" you found yourself asking, having to pull your eyes away from the card that was practically screaming your name.

"no, i'm sorry, honey," mina apologized. "he was wearing a hat and a mask, but i'm pretty sure it was the same gentleman from last time."

with a slow nod, you smiled politely and quickly bid mina a goodbye, making your way to the elevators in order to read the note without having to react publicly.

what if he left a name?

or maybe a clue to who they were??

before the elevator doors could close, another staff member had raced inside to join you on the way, thus preventing you from being able to read the card in private.

although, it did give you a chance to calm down and think rationally to keep you from getting your hopes up. as you watched the numbered floors slowly increase, you were reminded of the day before when kai had briefly mentioned about getting you a gift himself.

you figured it made far more sense for the gift in your hands to be from kai, considering it conveniently arrived the immediate day after he had suggested such an idea. in which case, you found no harm in peeking at the card's contents with that thought in mind.

with one deep breath, you flipped open the card ... only for your heart to drop in disappointment.

whatever it said before, it was entirely illegible underneath the frustrated scribbles. you couldn't even make out a single character to read anything, leaving only a tiny heart by itself in the only corner that the scribbled mess hadn't reached.

would kai really have written this?

no, of course he wouldn't. you knew kai, and he would have written something adorably cute to make you smile. there was nothing he could possibly say that would permit him to scribble it out so harshly.

was it ... was it really a secret admirer?

you were chewing harshly on your bottom lip as you first rushed to the floor of your office, wanting to drop off the cryptic gift before heading to the fitting rooms.

once you arrived, you were almost instantaneously greeted by the brightest smile and a cheerful exclamation of your arrival.

"y/n!! you're here!"

you blew kai a quick kiss as your own form of greeting, earning a deep red flush that covered the entirety of his face. not wanting to disturb any of the stylists hard at work, you stood off to the side and patiently waited for a spare moment to talk to him.

although you were more than confident that kai was not the culprit behind the gift, it still didn't hurt for you to ask anyway to be entirely sure. maybe he had written something embarrassing and gave it second thoughts?

"hey, huening, quick question," you came up to his side the second he was dressed back in his normal clothing.

"sure, what's up?"

you began to fidget nervously with your fingers, suddenly embarrassed at the idea of having to ask him. "did you- did you happen to get me a gift today?"

your face was growing drastically warmer.

kai's smile seemed to fall slightly. "oh, no, i'm sorry. did you really want me to? i can go get you something now! it's not a problem at all, i can get you the prettiest-"

"no! no, no, kai, it's fine!" you were quick to stop him, your embarrassment having doubled by this point. "i was just asking 'cause i got one today and the message was ... well, it was weird."

kai tilted his head curiously, though his brows furrowed in confusion. "it was weird, so you thought it was from me?"

"no, that's not what i meant!" you shook your head. you were beginning to wish you had thought this conversation through before initiating it. "i just remembered you saying something yesterday about it, so i thought it was from you."

by that point, you figured it was best to show him for yourself - so once he was cleared for the day, you both headed out together to your office.

surprisingly, beomgyu was already waiting for you both inside - standing by the window and adjusting the note in every angle of the light to try and decipher something from it.

"wow, you really can't read a word this says," he commented suddenly, as if continuing the conversation that you had been having from the start.

not even questioning his presence, nor the reason why he snooped through your things to begin with, you sighed and agreed.

kai had attempted to examine the chocolate box itself, wondering if there were any hidden notes inside that you might have missed. of course, seeing as he had snuck a few pieces to eat for himself, you wondered if that was his real intention.

"miss mina didn't tell you if she recognized the person at all?" beomgyu questioned, now trailing back over and tossing the scribbled note onto the table before reaching for a chocolate as well.

you shook your head, resting your chin atop of your hand as you released another sigh. "no, she said that he covered everything this time."

"well, if nothing else, we at least know that he doesn't work here," kai shrugged, though it didn't exactly make the situation any better.

instead of responding sarcastically, as you had originally wanted to, you instead opted for sending a half-hearted smile in the sweet boy's direction. you knew he was merely trying to find a positive light to the situation, but it only made it worse to imagine the ocean of suspects out there.

you didn't like having to wait around for whoever this admirer was to gain the courage to approach you. you just wished you could thank them personally for their sweet gestures.

"well, in other news, do you want to see the dance practice for my performance on music bank?" beomgyu asked you, pulling out his phone in hopes of changing the subject in order to lift your spirits again.

luckily for him, he chose the best topic.

your head perked up eagerly from your resting position, an excited smile now happily replacing the defeated pout from before. "you recorded it?"

"yeah! you didn't get to make it last time, so i wanted to be able to show you."

the second beomgyu managed to achieve a smile on your face, the dilemma from before almost instantaneously got pushed to the back of your mind.

after watching and praising beomgyu's practice video, kai then begged for you to help him practice his mc lines for tomorrow - which ended up being a lot more messing around than any actual rehearsal.

thanks to your two friends, you were able to forget all about the discarded note.

at least, up until kai had tried to throw it away with the empty chocolate box on the way home.

"you actually want to keep it?" he questioned you, genuinely confused on why you'd want to keep a bunch of meaningless scribbles.

you shrugged, truly unsure as to why you'd want to keep it for yourself. you stared down at the lone heart in the corner, bringing a tiny smile to your lips.

if nothing else, you still found it endearing.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

"do you know how hard i worked on that?!"

yeonjun was pacing back and forth in his studio, scolding his younger friend after he had returned and admitted what he had done to the note that yeonjun claimed to work so hard on.

"i don't think copying song lyrics counts as hard work," taehyun scoffed, rolling his eyes. "and it wasn't even your song, it was mine!"

yeonjun crossed his arms and huffed, his eyes averting away from his friend to stare down at the notebook filled with other discarded lyrics from taehyun's songs. "you should be flattered i even liked your music to begin with."

taehyun shook his head, annoyed.

he ultimately came to regret ever befriending yeonjun all those years ago in the first place. lately, it seemed that any time he came over to visit the idiot, he was then somehow dragged into following along with his ridiculous behavior.

this time around, taehyun ended up succumbing into his own pity for his pathetic friend and now found himself becoming yeonjun's personal delivery boy.

"if you were going to copy my lyrics, then at least choose a line that makes sense next time," taehyun told him, his expression now bored.

yeonjun appeared baffled, genuinely taken aback by taehyun's words. "what part of 'just put your heart in my hands, i promise it won't get broken' doesn't make sense?!"

"i don't know, try .. all of it." taehyun was a minute away from pulling his hair out. "for one, you already did break her heart. and for two, this is supposed to be an apology, not a high school confession."

"why can't it be both?"

taehyun could only curse at himself in his own head, wondering why he still continued to entertain yeonjun this much.

"other than the fact that you're in your mid-twenties?" taehyun asked rhetorically, smirking mischievously from taking a jab at yeonjun's age. "because you still have yet to actually say the words 'i'm sorry' to her."

yeonjun opened his mouth to retort, but one glare from taehyun warned him not to.

man, he hated when he was right.

yeonjun defeatedly threw himself down into his studio chair, spinning around in slow circles as he pondered over what to do next. if there was one thing he did know, it was that you deserved more than just a tiny note with a half-assed apology written inside to fill the small space.

the only problem was, yeonjun had absolutely no clue as to how he would ever get the chance to see you again.

the one golden opportunity he had, where you were practically served on a silver platter right in his very home, he absolutely blew it. instead of listening to the tiny voice of reason in his head, he chose to be his arrogant self instead and ruin his chance with you for the second time.

taehyun sighed, once again unable to watch from the side as yeonjun wallowed in his own despair. as much as he liked to act like everything he did annoyed him to no end, he still hated to see yeonjun in such a sorry state.

he couldn't believe he actually missed his obnoxious personality from before.

"alright, clearly you can't think of anything for yourself," taehyun sighed, rubbing his hands across his face in frustration. for as long as he remained friends with yeonjun, he was never going to learn his lesson. "so this time, i'll help you think of something."

at this, yeonjun's mood seemed to perk up. he couldn't be sure if it was from the offer itself or simply knowing he wouldn't have to struggle thinking for himself anymore.

seeing as he now had yeonjun sat and silently waiting, taehyun figured now would be a better time than any to admit an idea that had occurred to him earlier in the day.

"you have music bank tomorrow, right?"

yeonjun nodded, though he didn't appear at all excited at the thought. it would be the last week of his two-week promotion period for his latest EP, so he was already exhausted to no end and couldn't wait for it to be over.

"do you know anything about who's going to be there?" taehyun questioned, hoping to slowly lead yeonjun along to realize the rest for himself.

"does it look like i care about who's going to be there?" yeonjun deadpanned, eyes rolling in annoyance.

deep breaths, taehyun, deep breaths.

trying to calm himself down enough to keep from smacking the idiot, taehyun continued. "you will when you find out that a certain two people that a certain someone is friends with are going to be there."

thankfully, it took only a matter of seconds for yeonjun to piece the words together. his bored eyes suddenly widened, and his heart started pounding a little too hard against his ribcage.

you were going to be there?!

"shit, what should i do?" yeonjun suddenly started to panic, standing up from his chair to continue his earlier pacing across the small room. "do i go up to her? do i- do i ask her to meet me?"

he looked over at taehyun expectantly, waiting for him to begin spewing his usual words of wisdom any minute now.

"i'm not going to hold your hand; you can figure out the rest yourself," taehyun smirked, standing up from where he was sat. "but keep in mind that she's probably going to have one or two bodyguards with her at all times."

seeing yeonjun's eyes almost bulge out of his head, taehyun figured the least he could do was clarify one or two friends, rather than actual bodyguards.

then before he knew it, yeonjun was left alone in the studio room. the silence was deafeningly loud, and even his thoughts appeared to have gone entirely blank.

what the hell was he supposed to do now?!

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

later that evening, as per usual, both you and kai were to be found lounging around in your apartment once again. this time, kai insisted on referring to it as a celebratory sleepover for his special mc position the following day.

in reality, he merely just wanted any excuse to spend an evening alone with you - otherwise he would've suggested inviting beomgyu over for the same reason.

overall, it was a very cozy and domestic night. you had ordered a large pizza for you both to share and even started a series to binge watch together on netflix.

although, much to your own surprise, you both somehow ended up settled beside each other in your bedroom – doing your own things, of course.

kai was playing animal crossing on your nintendo switch while you did last minute work on your laptop.

every time that kai had come over before, the two of you would normally reside in the living room for the entirety of the night. glancing over at him now, you suddenly couldn't remember how it came to be that the boy was now laying comfortably beside you under the covers.

"look, y/nie! look who our new islander is!" kai interrupted your thoughts, turning the switch screen over to reveal the adorable character for you.

"you got dom!!" you cheered excitedly, leaning forward to see just how precious the little sheep was up close.

kai's smile widened, though a bit shyly as a small blush crept up to his cheeks at your sudden proximity.

when you first bought the game, you had told kai that your main goal was to obtain dom for your island. after about two months of playing, you gave up on your search and put the game to rest.

in which case, kai created his own profile to move into your island and pick up where you left off. now here he was, almost a year later, with your dream character moved in right next door to your home.

"you're the best, i can't believe you found him!" you pouted happily, admiring the adorable garden home that dom belonged to.

meanwhile, kai's gaze was more focused on you. he just found you so cute, and it made him all the more giddy to know that he was able to put that smile on your face. every bit of effort he put into the game was now worth it to make you happy.

"here, you should see how i decorated the island too," kai quickly suggested before you could hand the game back, scooting ever closer to you in the bed.

his head was leaned over your shoulder as he guided you around the island, pointing out cute little things that he had decorated for you — most especially the small garden with a heart pond right in the middle.

as you cooed and awwed at everything he made, along with visiting all the islanders you didn't recognize, kai had subtly rested his head against yours. for some reason, the simple action had his heart racing and he was very unsure as to why.

it wasn't like the two of you haven't been close before?

after you had seen everything there was on your shared island, you suddenly let out a much louder yawn than you had originally expected. it was so strong that even kai found himself reciprocating a second after.

"we should get some sleep," you told him, rubbing at your now tired eyes. "i can set up the mat for you if-"

"actually," kai stopped you, his hand reaching out to lightly grasp your wrist and prevent you from standing up. "is it okay if we just ... stay here?"

you blinked. "stay ... here?" you pointed down at the bed, wondering if you were truly understanding him correctly.

unknowingly to the other, both your hearts suddenly began to pick up speed at a similar pace.

kai nodded. "i don't want to sleep alone on the floor," he pouted now, his eyes resembling that of a puppy.

how could you possibly say no?

your stunned expression quickly shifted into a playful smile. "okay, but i better not find out you kick in your sleep."

"no, of course not! i'm more of a slapper," kai joked, making you giggle that beautiful melody that he adored.

after you both washed up and settled back in to your designated sides of the bed, you bid each other a cute goodnight and sweet dreams before shutting off the bedside lamps.

unfortunately, it was not as easy to fall asleep as you had hoped.

with the foreign presence laying just a mere foot away from you, you couldn't help but be all too aware of every breath and rustle of movement.

you weren't uncomfortable, no, you just found it ... weird.

the last person you ever shared a bed with was yeonjun, and, even after five years, it never occurred to you that there would be anyone else.

if it weren't for the fact that you knew kai was trying to sleep beside you, you probably would've groaned out loud in frustration for allowing yourself to think of yeonjun again. you hated every time he crossed your mind because you would then find yourself helplessly reminiscing over the past.

even now, as you pictured the way his arms used to wrap around you so perfectly, you had to press your hands against your face in order to suppress your thoughts. tossing over to your side, away from kai, you squeezed your eyes shut and prayed to think of absolutely anything else to fall asleep.

meanwhile, kai was too caught up in his own thoughts to sense your exasperation. he was more focused on wondering why his heart was pounding as erratically as it was this late at night.

he couldn't be sure as to when exactly it started, but he did notice it occurred much more frequently as of recently.

as he was rested on his back, kai tilted his head over slightly to see the faint outline of your figure laying beside him.

did his heart rate pick up just now?

but why? why would it do that?

kai couldn't have been more confused. the two of you have been friends for three years now, so why does it feel different all of a sudden?

a heavy exhale escaped his lips without him meaning to, and he quickly glanced over to see if it disturbed you at all. when you didn't move or make a sound, kai realized that he should follow your lead and focus on trying to sleep before he drove himself crazy.

it was his suggestion to sleep here in the first place, so he couldn't understand why he was suddenly feeling so nervous about it after the fact.

you were so calm and unbothered, yet here he lay completely restless and his mind overthinking.

you two were friends - you were close - so this was more than okay. in fact, it was normal.

so then why did he want to be closer?

previous | masterlist | next

a/n:

okay LISTEN- i know it's very hyuka x y/n focused, but i SWEAR i have a plan in mind and i'm NOT just succumbing to the bias wrecking brainrot... and even if i was, can you blame me?

anywayyyyyy pls pls pls pls let me know if you enjoyed this part ?? it took me over a week to write out the first draft, and then i scrapped everything .... so i hope this second draft does well <;/3

~

series taglist:

@cookiehaos @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @junzwrld @gyuuluvrs @goldennika @nobodyshallenter @lubtou @soobsfairy444 @2ynjns @cherriruto @baekberrie @youraggedybitch @eundiarys @jwicore @bokk-minnie @cha-raena @sparkswhoz @wo-ai-ni-yong @strvlveera @ghostfacefricker6969 @blondsoobinenthusiast @whippedforbeomgyu @l0stindigo @angelbythewindow @hkplushier @aloverga @ineedsomezzz @themiddlefingerinthesky @idkhoomanmaybe

permanent taglist:

@human-misery @dongmeiii @softcabur @marekmybeloved @aishidaishi @taekwondoes @wccycc @jjhmk @mjlasagna @eclecticeggknightpsychic @yjusei @beachbabe4ever

both taglists open !!

[picafreesita]

🌈3🌈

We walked up the street to Julie's house. We get halfway when Wally tells us that it was the moment he separated from us.

Wally's house was red with a blue roof next to yellow windows, very striking.

"Good night, dear neighbors," he said.

"Good night, Wally," they both answered.

"Yes, good night," I answered later.

While Wally opened the door to enter I could see something in the windows moving. Something black, circular figures moving in the front windows. The most logical thing was to think that they were other residents who lived with the one with the pompadour, but even so, I could notice how they moved towards where I was going, it was like a direct look, they were watching me, that was clear.

Leaving Wally's house behind he had arrived at Julie and Sally's houses. One was pink and had a white roof with a flower theme; the other was multicolored with stage curtains adorning its entrance.

"Okay, I'm going to get my things and I'll reach them in a moment," Sally said, saying goodbye to her and running towards the colorful house.

"Okay," Julie said. It was just the two of us walking to the house full of flowers.

"Welcome to my home" She opened her door and entered first and then waited for me to do the same.

"thank you very much" I strolled until I could see everything inside

"Make yourself comfortable, I'm going to look for some pajamas for you." She took me to an armchair and then went to another room.

I looked everywhere in case I could find any clue of those beings that I could sometimes see like in the pink house, but I found nothing. It seemed like a safe place.

"It's like there but they aren't there," I murmured.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

There was a knock on the front door, I got up and opened the door, it was Sally in her pajamas.

-Hello! “I brought everything I needed for the sleepover,” she said, holding a bag. I stepped aside from her and let her pass, at that moment Julie came out of her room with her pajamas in hand.

"I think I found a perfect one for you," She said happily and greeted Sally.

"Very well, how about you take a bath while we put everything away?" she asked me "so you can relax."

"Oh, okay," I responded, Julie took my hand and guided me to the bathroom.

"If you need something, don't hesitate to ask"

She handed me the pajamas and closed the door, leaving me alone.

I looked around and it was a fairly equipped bathroom.

When I got out of the tub, I dried myself off and got dressed. It was a two-piece set with loose sleeves. I must admit that it helped me a lot and I felt better.

Upon returning to the living room I could see how they had made a pillow fort between the couches; the table was filled with snacks, board games, and makeup.

"Wow, that's a huge pillow fort," I commented.

There was everything, from the smallest cushion to the largest ones that made up the walls of the fort, colorful blankets created the ceiling, several of them tied with ribbons on sticks giving it a kind of castle feel.

"I know, isn't it incredible?" Julie commented, proud of her work.

I turn to look at myself

"I see that the pajamas fit you perfectly, you look phenomenal" She raised her thumb in approval.

"Now, as our first activity, what movie would you like to see?" Sally asked with her hands hidden behind her back.

"Oooohhh" Julie happily took a VHS tape from among the board games "Let's watch Adventures in Dreamland."

"I say let's see… Melody and her friends on a galactic tour!" She excitedly showed us the tape that she had hidden behind her back.

"Come on Sally, Jolly has to see "Adventures in Dreamland" I'm sure she'll love it," Julie said lovingly holding the movie.

"But we have already seen it many times, plus Melody has incredible songs and wonderful character development. She has to know about good cinema" Sally said.

At least 10 minutes, each one defended her film without wanting to give in at any point.

Sincerely, I didn't want to get into that fight, especially because I had no idea what kind of movies they were.

"Hey Sally, what if we see them at the same time? I have another television in the closet. This way we can both see what we want and Jolly will appreciate both stories"

"I don't think…" I said quietly.

"That's… A great and fantastic idea!" Sally exclaimed.

Both girls went to the closet to actually take out another television along with a VHS tape player. Inside the fort, dialogues came out mixed between strident songs, I tried to a certain extent to understand both plots while we ate popcorn and candy. When the credits rolled my brain was finally able to rest, it was a disaster.

"I do not understand. Why did the mermaid Lolly want the sailor Willy to eat the queen of Saturn's cookies so she could stop the evil producer Orion and save the children's dreams?" I asked

Both girls remained silent and then burst into laughter.

"You're quite funny," Julie said between laughs. "No, silly, you completely mixed up the stories."

"Although I must admit that it would be a pretty interesting story to produce, maybe I'll make a play something like that" Sally commented.

"We will have to see them again so you can understand them"

Before Julie took both controls I said:

"I think that was enough movies for me tonight"

"Okay, how about we make some cookies? Buy a tube of chocolate chip dough at Howdy's store" Sally suggested.

The three of us left the fort and headed to the kitchen, we opened the package to grab the dough and form small balls and then placed them on a waxed tray, and with that, they went straight to the oven. The cookies going to be ready in 25 minutes or at least that's what the instructions said.

"While the cookies are baking, why don't we put on our makeup and hair?" Julie proposed.

I had a bad feeling

"A makeover on the way!" The two shouted at the same time.

"Yay! This will be great" Julie quickly took out all the makeup she had and placed it on the table while Sally brought a stool next to her. I saw how both girls were putting on makeup, their faces were full of color.

"Wow" It was the only thing that came out of my mouth

"Very well, it's your turn" They took my shoulders and made me sit down.

"Wait a minute, I…" My plea was useless, Julie quickly began to put my makeup on. I put on a shadow of bright and intense color with a pink blush.

"You'll see, I'll make you more than beautiful" Between them, the two of them used different brushes to fill my face with every product they could put on me.

"Very well, we're done"

Before I could take a mirror and see what they had done to me, Julie snatched it from me and then said:

"Not yet, our hairstyles are missing. We have to make a brushing train"

"The cookies look like they're ready, I'm going to take them out of the oven like Poppy taught me," Sally said as she ran to the kitchen, on her way back she carried a bowl full of the freshly made and warm cookies in her hands.

The three of us stood in single file: Me at the beginning, Julie in the middle and Sally at the end. My hair was not as long as the blonde girl's, on the contrary, my blue hair only reached my shoulders. I could feel her putting barrettes, setting spray, and using the brush to style my hairstyle.

"Almost"

After a couple of minutes, Sally finished Julie's hair.

"Are you done yet?" I asked.

"I'm giving you the last details" she could be heard as she struggled.

"Very well, I´m done" She handed me the mirror

"Vuala, what do you think of your new look?"

"This is…emmm…how to say it…Extravagant" If my eyes were already big because of my expression I could make them double. I looked like a clown, everything was made up with exaggeration and the hairstyle did not help at all, it rose upwards making it look like an almond.

"Do you or do you not feel bonita?" Julie asked me

"...I feel bonita" I didn´t know if I wanted to laugh or cry

"Wonderful! Because you look bonita!"

The makeup and haircut of both girls are almost equally exaggerated. I really don´t hate this game it's just strange for me but is quite funny

After admiring Julie's work, this girl went to her room to take out a pile of clothes. She suggested that we do a fashion show, and so for at least an hour we tried on thousands of outfits while making funny poses. If it weren't for the fact that we are puppets, she would say that we are just girls who want to have fun.

After the parade there was a pillow fight that ended with thousands of feathers on the floor along with thousands of laughter from everyone. We collected what we could and placed them back inside the cushion.

"You know, I honestly don't remember the last time I had fun…thank you," she said with a sincere smile.

"It's okay but…What do you mean by "you don't remember the last time you had fun"? "What happened?" Julie asked, looking at me worried about what I said.

"Well…Before I got here…My friends and I were in serious danger"

Sitting in a circle while Sally held a lamp as our only source of light started storytime,

"How terrible…I guess you went through a lot of things"

"… yes, really...yeah," I said looking at the floor while I remembered every teacher I had ever encountered and the worst… the confrontation we had against Lesley… and Roy. Being immersed in my thoughts again I didn't realize that Julie was hugging me…

When was the last time you hugged me? Or…Have you ever hugged me?

"I'm very sorry to hear that, I can't imagine what you experienced. If you need something, anything. I'll be there"

"Thank you, Julie, trust me, I will be fine. My friends and I have been through a lot…many horrible things but together we have gotten through" I gave her a smile to reassure her as well as separate her from me.

"They may be idiots but I know that wherever they are as long as they stay together they are capable of surviving anything"

"If you say so but remember we will help you with anything, just tell us and we will be there" Sally commented

I smiled in a certain nostalgic way for some strange reason

-I repeat, thank you very much. When I leave tomorrow I will remember her words and if I am in trouble again I will know that there is a place where we will be welcomed with open arms… I am sure my friends would love this neighborhood-

-Please be very careful out there, promise-

-I promise-

Julie extended her arm and then just left her little finger in my direction waiting for a response from me. I kept thinking and an idea came to my mind, I did the same and intertwined my finger with hers.

"A promise is never broken," he commented.

I looked back at Sally and we did the same.

"Hey, tell me, what are your friends' names?"

The question took me by surprise.

"Emm…the truth is...I don't remember their names, in fact I think we have never really introduced ourselves. Now that I think about it, it's a bit strange since we've known each other for a long time."

"Yes, it's strange…but maybe it's something of fate, right?"

"What does that mean?"

"It sounds like they are very close, like a family, maybe that means that there is a reason behind them getting together even though they haven't introduced themselves"

"I never thought in that way" Thinking about everything I know about them made small laughs come out of me

"If we are a family, we are a really peculiar one. If you met them you would think we were completely different and how the hell did we end up together"

"Oh really? What are they like?" Sally asked.

"They are shy? Happy? Kind or rude?" Julie continued with the questions.

"One looks like a red mop that talks and looks indifferently, another is a kind of old duck with anger problems and the last… is like a kind of naive yellow pig"

Both girls were surprised at how I had described them.

"I know it seems very strange and that we hate each other but…somehow we work"

"Even if their friendship is a little strange, it just shows how much they care about each other. I'm glad to know that you guys have that kind of authentic friendship, you know that they can always trust you with their lives and that's a really good thing to have… at least, I think so" Julie concluded.

Her words really relieved my heart from the anguish I felt for them, this was reflected in my face, however something else was appearing at that moment, it was a kind of sadness but I don't know where it came from.

"Is there anything else that worries you?"

"It's not that, it's just that you remind me of something but I don't know what…something good or someone"

I frowned trying to remember

"I think I once had friends like you" In some way I'm glad to recognize that.

I have a lot to remember

With this and a few more jokes, it was time to sleep.

Our sleepover was over.

🌈2<<<<<<<<<<< >>>>>>>>>>>4🌈

[st4rr-girrl]

Struggling in silence

ON HOLD

{Series; ep 1}

Prologue

Summary; You struggle heavily with mental health, but you don’t want to tell the gang, afraid of judgement. So you fake your happiness so they don’t know. Slowly they start figuring things out.

Warnings; Cussing, violence, sexual assault, angst.

(P= Platonic)

(R=Romantic)

Pairing(s); Johnny Cade x Fem reader (r)

Ponyboy Curtis x Fem reader. (p)

Sodapop Curtis x Fem reader(p)

Darry Curtis x fem reader(p)

Dally Winston x fem reader(r)

Two bit x fem reader(p)

Steve Randle x fem reader(p)

Now playing; Hunting for Witches —Crystal Castles

Up next; revenge -xxxtentacion

Going to school right after a suicide attempt was not fun.

You woke up, sighing in disappointment at the fact you were still alive and breathing.

Birds chirped in a calming melody, as you got up and out of bed.

I’ll get to see Johnny and Dally today.

You smiled to yourself, kind of thankful your original plan hadn’t worked as you intended.

Johnny, Dally and the gang were currently the only things that made you hesitate from shoving all the pills in your house down your throat.

You walked into your bathroom and shut the door. You stood still, staring at your toothbrush debating on whether to use it or not. You really didn’t feel like it.

You decided to brush your teeth anyways.

After that, you went to the bathroom and washed your hands.

You put all your makeup on; eyeliner, mascara, and lipgloss. That was your routine. You also did your hair how you usually did.

Then you left the bathroom to change clothes.

You threw on an outfit, and headed to the front door.

“I’m going to school!” You shouted, leaving and starting your walk to the Curtis house. Not that your parents would care or whatever.

You walked over to the Curtis house, and sat on their couch.

“Mornin’ Y/n” darry said as he was walking by. You gave him a small smile.

Two-bit was eating chocolate cake, drinking beer and watching Mickey. His daily routine.

You sat down next to two-bit and laid your head on his shoulder and watched the show as you waited for Johnny to come over and for Pony to be ready.

Once pony was ready, he sat next to you and watched Mickey as well.

You sat and waited for Johnny to come over. If he was going to school- that is. He doesn’t most of the time.

“Y/n I don’t think Johnny’s comin’. Let’s just go to school.”

A frown made its way to your face. Your melancholy expression noticeable to everyone who looked at you.

“I’m sure he’ll come tomorrow, Y/n. Cheer up.” Pony said, getting up off the floor and holding his hands out for you to grab.

“Alright… I guess.” You grabbed his hands and got up, following his lead outside.

The walk to school was quiet. An uncomfortable quiet that made you wanna fall through the ground and die.

Neither you nor pony knew what to say to each other.

“You seem to like Johnny a lot.” Pony said, attempting to break the uncomfortable silence.

“What’s it to you?” You raised a brow and looked at the brunette boy.

“I dunno. I think he likes you a lot as well. He just has a hard time showin’ it.” He kicked a rock. “But if it wasn’t for us and the gang he’d have no clue what love or affection was. He’s learnin’ how to give it back, he’s just not all the way there yet.”

You shrugged. “I know, Pony. It’s just hard.” You shook your head. “I wanna teach him those things. And I wanna be there for ‘em. He just doesn’t open up I guess.”

“Yeah, I know.” Pony looked ahead. “I’ve seen the way you look at Dallas, too.”

You furrowed your brows. “What about it?”

“I dunno. You just look at him with heart eyes. A lot like how you look at Johnny. Dally’s no good, but I know he cares a lot about you and Johnny.”

“Well why wouldn’t he?” You asked. “He’s our best friend.”

“He doesn’t look at you as a friend would, Y/n.”

You stopped walking, Pony mirroring your actions.

“You think so?” You asked, blush spreading across your face.

“Of course. Johnny and Dallas look at you the same way you look at them. You’d be blind to not know.” He smiled.

“Don’t tell anyone. Alright pony? I don’t need the gang on my tail for this.” You frowned. “Especially for liking two boys at the same time. I feel like they’ll judge me.”

“They won’t. Promise. They love you too much to care about that kinda stuff.” Pony reassured you.

“Thanks pony.” You smiled.

“No problem.” He smiled back. “Oh by the way, I’m going to the movie house after school today, wanna come with?”

“I’d love to”

You both continued the walk to school.

This time comforting silence filled the air and you smiled contentedly.

—

The bell rung out loudly, as you where dismissed from your last class period. You sighed, glad the school day was finally over. This day felt a lot longer than it actually was.

As you stepped out of the classroom, you were met with a smiling Ponyboy.

“Hey, Horseboy.” You teased. It felt like a lot of awkwardness and tension was cleared out with him after the talk. It felt as if you two were a bit closer now.

“Don’t call me that, weirdo” Pony smirked, shaking his head.

“Cmon let’s just go to the movie house.” You smiled.

You both walked to the movie house, talking about what you thought the movie was gonna be about.

You both play argued when you came to a disagreement.

You approached the movie house, quieting your conversation as you snuck in.

You and Pony giggled when your attempt was successful.

You snuck into a room and sat in some seats. The movie begun and you averted your attention to it.

-

You and Pony stepped out of the movie house, and continued the walk to his house. You both talked on and on about the movie, stating your own opinions and views on it.

You were still talking, when a soc car drove by and yelled “greasers!” At you both.

You rolled your eyes at their antics, shrugging them off and continuing the walk.

You walked and their car showed up again. You and pony gave each other worried glances, and you started speed walking.

You grabbed Pony’s hand and started running, once you realized they weren’t gonna leave you alone. You were by a few houses, and you were dragging pony along with you. The same car from before pulled up again, stopping violently as socs hopped out. You tried speeding up the paste, squeezing Pony’s hand reassuringly.

Your hands were ripped apart when two socs tackled you and two tackled him. You were too occupied trying to fight off the socs that pinned you down to hear what one soc was saying to Pony. Something about a haircut? You weren’t sure.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doing with no good greasers.” A twisted smile formed on the blonde soc in front of you. You immediately felt uncomfortable.

You knees the soc in his crotch and he groaned in pain. “Creep!” You spat. The blonde socs friend was still holding you.

The blonde soc pulled out a blade, and placed it at your neck. “Do somethin’ like that again, I won’t hesitate to make my signature little marking on your neck.” He whispered.

The blonde soc was known for jumping greasers, and carving an ‘S’ in them. (For soc) basically marking them as soc territory.

Your eyes widened, and you shook your head violently.

“Good girl.” He smiled. You were trying your hardest not to throw up all over him.

You head butted the guy behind you, giving him a bloody nose and making him groan and let you go. You kneed the blonde soc in the groin and quickly got up. “Dally!! Johnny! Darry! Two-bit!! Soda!” You yelled, trying to gain anyone’s attention. Your screams were cut off by being tackled, once again, by the same blonde soc. He couldn’t make an ‘S’, due to your frantic moving, but he managed to pin you down and slice your neck a bit. You screamed as you struggled in his grasp. His hands were at your wrists and he had you pinned down.

Tears blurred your vision, as he unbuttoned your top, revealing your black lacy bra.

“Get off, you perv!!” You screamed, as his hands freeroamed your body.

You heard Pony scream in pain as he yelled for the gang. Soon yells of the gang members were heard, and the socs jumped off of you and back into the car. You felt your eyes start to shut involuntarily. The gang chased the socs away angrily, and they walked up to you and pony.

“Did they pull a blade on ya pony?” Soda asked pony, as he looked away and tried not to cry. “Yea.” His voice broke, making your heart skip a beat. You groaned, feeling your head pound. Tears welled in your irises, as the gang looked at you.

Johnny and Dallas rushed to your side in a heartbeat. “Y-Y/n.. did they…. Did they touch you..?” Johnny’s voice was shaky, making your heart swell. You nodded slowly, giving them the answer none of them wanted.

Your eyes overflowed with tears, and they all fell down one by one. You aggressively wiped at your face, trying to get them to go away.

Dallas buttoned up your shirt, so you felt less exposed.

Johnny helped you up. Blood stained your skin, from the fresh wound on your neck.

“Let’s clean you up.” Soda said, taking your hand and leading you to the house. Darry scolded you and Pony, before walking off angrily. You frowned, and went inside.

Soda followed closely behind you and took you to the bathroom. you sat on the closed toilet, much like the boys did when you would patch them up after fights or rumbles.

Soda patched you up, a concerned look on his face the whole time. “Are you okay??” Soda asked.

“Yeah. Just shooken up a bit.” You reassured with a tight smile.

He nodded, hugging you. “You can always talk to me if you need someone to talk to. Or anyone from the gang. We’re all here for you.” You nodded and smiled gracefully. “Thanks, Soda.”

“Anytime, honey.” He smiled kindly, as you both left the bathroom.

“You should stay here for the night, Y/n.” Darry said as you walked into the living room full of greasers.

“If it won’t be too much trouble.” You furrowed your brows.

“Of course it won’t, Y/n. We just need to make sure you’re alright.” You nodded.

“Johnny you’re welcome to stay aswell.” Darry added.

Johnny nodded gratefully. You sat down on the couch, laying your head on Steve’s lap as he watched T.V.

You slowly fell asleep, feeling a pair of arms pick you up right before you passed out for the night.

Like my writing? Here’s my masterlist.

[aloneinthehellfire]

Chapter 21: The Final Chime

Season One | Season Two | Season Three | Season Four

Word Count: 4838 words of chaos

Warnings: swearing, death, blood, [flashbacks], mourning, fire, canon stuff yk

[A/N: i know so many of you are wondering what this chapter could possibly be if reader isn't there and i'm here to tell you that it's set in the pov of the others so... prepare for some angst again]

The Final Chime

“I don’t believe in a higher power or divine intervention.” Robin chokes out, watching as the vines retreat. “But that was a miracle.”

After what felt like an eternity, the trio were finally released from their captors just before the light had left their eyes. The vines had unexpectedly set them free, their bodies hitting the ground as they gasped for air.

“Then we better not waste it.” Nancy breathes.

Steve is scanning the area around them and Robin frowns before widening her eyes.

“Shit, do you think Y/n’s with him?” Robin asks with a small voice, rubbing her neck.

The last thing Steve remembers is watching as you were pulled into the attic, a look of fear in your eyes that he hadn’t seen before. There was something you hadn’t been telling him. He had noticed it first when you and Nancy talked privately, the dampened cheeks that surely held tears that were swiped away as quickly as they fell. Then there was the way you held is hand just before, like you were scared to let go.

So many things you had done to hide a devastating truth, protecting him like you always did.

“She has to be, right?” Steve looks to Nancy, noticing her hard stare, jaw set tight.

“Right.” She finally agrees, cocking the shotgun in her hand.

Nancy was afraid. But not of Vecna. Of what they would find when they finally turn that corner. There was only one thought running through her mind and she wanted there to be a higher power. One that would grant all of her wishes.

For a future you were in.

Steve’s look of curiosity made Nancy feel guilty. She shouldn’t be keeping this a secret, especially not from him.

“I…” She speaks, but then she’s biting her lip and shaking her head.

“There’s something you’re not telling us, isn’t there?” Steve frowned, searching her eyes for some kind of clue.

“What?” Robin’s eyes were wide as she strapped her bag on properly.

“We don’t have time.” Nancy decides, locating the attic and nodding towards it. “Let’s get this over with.”

Steve and Robin hold their breath, noticing how she was remaining emotionless. It scared them, to see her like that.

Nancy had already taken steps towards the attic before Robin finally cleared her throat.

“Let’s just find Y/n, kill Vecna, then get the hell out of here.” Robin practically pleads, rubbing her throat and wincing at the soreness.

“Yeah…” Steve agrees, scooping up his axe from the floor and joining his friends. He couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t prepared for whatever was in that attic.

And he was right.

It was a rush of footsteps, surely to be heard through the vibrations emitted.

Nancy leads them in, shotgun raised. And when she stops abruptly, Steve and Robin share a confused look before stepping in after her. Their first sight was on the monster attached to vines, eyes closed.

But that wasn’t why Nancy was crying.

“No!”

Robin lets out a choked gasp, rushing over, but Nancy pulls her back, arms wrapped around her as the girl struggles in her grip. Robin’s heart shattered. They told her you shouldn’t come down with them, but she had insisted. She made that call. And now… you were…

Nancy ignores the teary eyes of her friends and peels her gaze from the body. She had seen it before. The same attic, the same position, the same pool of red. If she looked any longer, Nancy would shut down completely.

Steve hadn’t moved since he saw you. Those tear stained cheeks, blood everywhere. A sight permanently seared into his brain. He was just with you. Your smile, the laugh that sounded like a melody he would replay over and over, even when you were away. He was just with you.

As Nancy held onto Robin, the girl’s efforts to break free now dissipated as she clings to Nancy for comfort, Steve drops his axe and walks over to you. There was a small slither of hope in the back of his mind that you weren’t really gone. That it was just a trick.

Your face was covered by loose strands of hair, head tilted slightly to the side. One hand covered your abdomen, soaked in blood. Steve carefully crouches beside you, Robin’s muffled sobs breaking his heart with each movement he made. His shaking hand reaches out to brush your hair away.

“Y/n…” He whispers out, as if you would respond, tell him it was all a big misunderstanding.

Eyes closed, lips parted. A trail of a tear ran down your cheek and Steve’s breath hitches. Trembling, he presses his fingers against the side of your neck… nothing.

His teary eyes raise to meet Nancy’s, slowly shaking his head. Nancy lowers her gaze but grips onto Robin tighter.

The tears that slip down Steve’s face were rare, an emotion he hadn’t allowed himself to feel for a very long time. He had to be the strong one, the one the kids could count on. The one you could count on. But, even then, he always needed someone too. Someone to keep his head above water, to bring him back down to earth when he feels like he’s drifting away.

And that one person was now led in a pool of her own blood.

Steve gently strokes your cheek, a sob building in his throat, before his eyes drift to your stomach, noticing the four slashes in your jacket vest. He freezes. It only then hits him that you weren’t snapped and bruised, nor did blood run down from your eyes. You weren’t killed by a curse. You were murdered.

Everything you had done for them, all the pain and loss you had experienced. All for this.

Rage boiled in Steve’s veins as he drifts away from your body and carefully steps towards Robin, motioning to her backpack. His stare caught onto Vecna, suspended in the air in the middle of your last view. He didn’t care how they did it, how long it took. He wanted revenge.

They all did.

Robin furiously wipes her tears, lighting the first bottle and holding it out.

Steve gladly takes it, anger coursing through his veins.

“But if you knew about the black dust, why didn’t you say something?” Steve’s worried eyes stared into yours, the noise from the comedy on the TV long forgotten now, “You could have died when we-”

“I couldn’t risk it.” You whisper and he lowers his gaze. “Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same.”

“That’s different.” He sighs, shaking his head.

“How? How is that any different-”

“Because it’s not you!” Steve cries, holding your arms, “You don’t deserve any of this, Y/n. You- you’ve never done anything wrong.”

“Just-” He sighs again, running a hand through his hair. “Just let me know when one of these… visions or something show up again.”

When you don’t respond, he leans forward until your foreheads touch and the action makes you laugh.

“Swear it.” He says in a monotone voice, making you laugh harder.

“Okay, okay. I swear.” You giggle and he pulls you into a hug.

Sacrifice had always come naturally to you, something Steve both admired and hated. You constantly chose the danger, protecting everyone you loved and never receiving any kind of gratitude. He saved you once, seeing the Demogorgon taking your life from you and never once hesitating to grab that bat and beat it to a pulp if he had to.

But he couldn’t save you this time. Because you were too busy trying to save him.

“For Y/n.” He mutters with reddened eyes before launching the bottle at Vecna.

They watch as it hits the monster squarely in the chest, igniting his cold red skin as he screams out in pain.

The fire spreads, catching onto the vines, and they screech, detaching Vecna from their hold and he crashes to the floor in front of them. With a growl, he raises his head with a murderous glint in his eyes. He stands slowly, unaffected by the flames burning his body.

But they aren’t finished with him yet.

Robin flicks on the lighter, burning the cloth.

Robin slowly nods, humming. “So what I’m hearing is that… you’re scared?”

“I was on my own when I moved here.” You shake your head, looking at your hands, “And I hated it. I guess all my graduation plans had involved another person. And, I don’t know, I just hate the idea of being on my own again.”

“I get that.” She solemnly nods, sitting back in her chair. “The fear of being alone? Haunts me.”

“Just… don’t tell him.” You plead. Robin glances at the divider before looking back at you, a sincere smile on her face.

“I won’t.”

Your greatest fear, one you and her had shared at the time. Being alone. And now, knowing that you had died at the hands of the creature in front her, alone, her grip on the bottle tightened.

“Flambé, asshole.”

She grits her teeth, pushing as much strength as she can into her arm, and she throws the bottle to watch it slip from her fingers and hit him with such force, he stumbles back.

But he doesn’t stop.

Nancy raises her shotgun.

“It already has my scent, Nance.” You admitted. She sent you a confused look and you knelt onto the floor, pulling up your jeans to reveal the mark the Demogorgon had left on you. A constant reminder of the terror.

“No.” She shook her head furiously. “That’s not happening, Y/n. No.”

“Yes it is.” You stayed stubborn, standing up and looking your friend in the eyes.

“The only reason is hasn’t attacked me is because I haven’t stayed in one place long enough.” You sighed, taking a breath before resting your hand on her arm. “I just need to lead it here, Nance. And I promise you, I’ll never let it get close enough to hurt me.”

“But-”

“I’m just bait. We have a plan, it’ll work.” You reassured, smiling a little.

The girl in front of you finally sighed, shaking her head before pulling you into a hug.

“Fine. But if you die, I’ll kill you.” She chuckled sadly.

Ever since Barb’s disappearance, you had done everything you could to protect them, to risk your life when no one expected you to. Nancy remembered the time she spent without you in her life, and it was desolate. You brought a light she never appreciated.

Vecna had told her you would die, shown it to her in a nightmare of visions. He had claimed that your death would be his strength.

Bullshit.

Nancy fires the gun, the bullets piercing his skin and pushing him back in surprise. He had taken her best friend, and he was going to pay for it.

Another shot, then another, then another.

She keeps moving forward, just as he keeps stumbling back. She was relentless. And they were so close to killing him.

He spins around, clutching onto a surface in the attic. She cocks the gun once again.

But then he pounces at her.

His claw swipes out and only just misses her face; Steve had pulled her back in time for Vecna to stalk toward them, bleeding and burnt, but still stronger than they anticipated.

With wide eyes, they watch as he gets closer, Robin fumbling for another bottle. Vecna is close to taking the gun away from Nancy and leaving them vulnerable, holding his arm out ready to take another life.

Robin finds herself squeezing her eyes shut, hand gripping tightly around Nancy’s wrist as they await the pain.

But then Vecna is frozen, unable to move.

Every limb goes stiff, a cry of war hissing through his burned lips. Struggle ensues. Nancy and Steve can only look in confusion, stepping back and looking to eachother for answers.

“Oh my god.”

Robin’s muttering led them to it, Nancy’s gasp echoing through the cold attic. Steve frowns, shifting his gaze to where Nancy stared. Tears laced his eyes for a whole new reason.

Vecna manages to crane his neck to where they are staring and his dead eyes widen in utter shock.

Black dust is swarming the space behind him, threading their way around his limbs to keep him paralysed, a taste of his own medicine.

And in the middle, black eyes stare daggers into his soul.

You.

The screaming was like daggers in your mind.

You could never see it, only hear. Some tortured souls surrounding you, echoing in the barren darkness you found yourself in. You were helplessly alone.

It felt like hours that you had tried screaming for help. But with each tired note of pain, you found your mind drifting away from everything you knew. You were here for a reason. You had…

You didn’t remember.

A sob echoes out and you turn around. But the sound came from you. You were afraid, stuck somewhere you couldn’t escape. And you didn’t know why.

“Join me”

You spin around to the growl of a deep voice, goosebumps lacing your skin, breath quickened. You recognised it. Why?

Vecna, you remind yourself. Vecna. He was a monster. He-

“Your only way out of here is to join me”

You squint into the darkness. He… who was he again?

“No.” You whisper out before you can even register what you were saying. Frowning, you find yourself retreating from the voice… why?

A loud roar thunders, an ear-splitting noise of what sounded like a million flies penetrating your mind. Covering your ears, you groan, collapsing to the floor. You barely gathered the strength to scramble from the ground and into a sprint once you heard the eerie call of something in the shadows.

y/n…

You freeze, eyes wide. It wasn’t the monster’s voice. No… no this was softer, almost comforting. A voice that calmed your nerves despite the fear.

An image came to mind, forming the portrait of a boy, piece by piece. It started with hair, different shades of dark brown prominent against the lighter, bleached from days in the sun. They descended into wavy locks, loose strands falling perfectly into shape around his face. His face… brown, no… hazel eyes, a colour you only noticed through careful observation, small flecks of gold reflecting the purity of his heart. This was a boy that looked at you with such adoration… and you couldn’t remember why.

The image cascaded into a thousand little memories… basketball, lakes, ice-cream… none of it made sense but once they were strung together, it was perfection. Whatever it was, whoever it was… you wanted it back.

“There is nowhere to run, Y/n”

Your body hits some kind of invisible wall, sending you backwards. Coughing, you pull yourself up and reach your hand out, a solid barricade within the darkness cold against your touch, locking you in this nightmare.

Your hands fumble against the wall, footsteps speeding up but never finding any opening. You were trapped. You were trapped.

Another flash of memories hit you, smiles and laughter, death and guilt. All of it was a nauseating blur, descending you deeper into madness. Cries from souls echoed around your head, the flesh of your hands not nearly thick enough to block them out.

It all became too much. The tears, the heartache, the rage. It was building and building until you were breathing heavy, scrunching your hands into fists that tore at your skin. A raw scream ripped from your body, a sound that even terrified you.

“There is no use screaming”

The voice- Vecna – taunted you once again, and you find yourself on your knees, panting for breath. Something made you think you deserved this.

“You are alone”

Alone. You frown. Alone.

The word was frightening, and yet you found yourself contemplating it. Alone. It was true, you were by yourself in a dungeon of despair, but were you truly… alone?

A crowd of faces, some younger, some older. Each of them held smiles that warmed your heart, all gathered together like some kind of family. A family.

Your family.

“I’m never alone.” You manage to sound out, raising your head to look through the dark. The words were unexpected, but they felt right. “I am never alone.”

It was silent around you.

Standing, your eyes dart around void surrounding you. Nothing. Then, a faint hum.

A bright glow of some sort flashed in front of you, causing you to stumble back and raise your arms to shield your face. It was the contrast that made it so painful.

Slowly blinking, you adjust to the blinding light in front of you.

What was going on?

A frown is etched into your forehead, each step towards the light echoing in the dark and deserted space around you. You had no control over the movement, drifting closer and closer.

Where were you?

Then, with a brush of your finger, the scene around you fades into something much more familiar. Something…

… nostalgic.

The wallpapered walls, the untouched armchair. Frames and frames of happy memories. The smell of delicate perfume stained from long ago.

You could barely make sense of it until when you feel yourself being watched, cautiously turning back to the front door. A silhouette of a man, taller than you, striking a nerve. Vecna?

As you caught sight of the small scruffy beard, the kind eyes, the breath leaves your lungs.

“Jack?” You whisper out, afraid that if you startled him, it would all be over.

“Hey, kid.” He smiles, shaking his head. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here so soon.”

You didn’t understand what was happening, all of it a nauseating blur. But you felt calm in this place. Almost… at peace.

“Where is here, exactly?” You question, resisting the urge to move closer, to wrap your arms around him. You weren’t even sure this was real.

“Not a damn clue.” He admits with a chuckle. His eyes still smiled but a worried brow lay above them. “But there’s only one way to get here.”

“What?” You shake your head, confused.

As he looked at you, something pulled at your chest.

Piece by piece, you slowly recollected everything that had happened before you woke up. The mission, the vines… Vecna.

Your eyes widen.

“I’m dead.” You say numbly and Jack finally approaches you, still careful enough to stray from contact. “Vecna. He…”

“I know.” He nods and you whip your head up.

“How?”

“Well, let’s say there ain’t much TV around here.” Jack chuckles, “And I always told you I wouldn’t let you be alone.”

“So you know about everything that’s happened?” You ask and he simply nods. You lower your eyes, biting your bottom lip. “Then you know I failed.”

“Failed?”

Jack closed the distance as tears fell down, pulling you in. A choked sob leaves your lips once the familiar material of his jacket rubs against your nose. You had spent so long without Jack, you forgot what it felt like to hug him. To even just hear his voice.

“You have been the bravest girl I could ever hope of having for a daughter.” He says and you tighten your lips, pulling away. “Sometimes I don’t think you realise how selfless you are.”

“But I left them.” You sob, shaking your head with trembling lips. “They needed me and I… I-”

“You haven’t really left them.” Jack reminds you and you let out a breathy laugh.

“Right.” You cry, closing your eyes. “Because my memory will always be there.”

“No.” He says and you raise your head. “Because we all get second chances.”

You slowly shake your head. “I don’t understand.”

“You should.” He points out with a knowing look, smirking. “You give them out all the time, kid. With me. Nancy, Steve. Hell, even Eddie. Everyone deserves a second chance. Especially you.”

Before you could question his suggestion, you notice something moving behind him.

Outside of the window, the shadows of a thousand little particles of black dust danced behind the glass, waiting.

“What’s that?”

“Damned if I know.” Jack shrugs.

But you did know, even if you didn’t want to admit it. The Mind Flayer was waiting for you.

“You have to make a choice.” Jack prompts you, kissing the top of your head and nodding to the moving shadow. “Whatever you do, it has to feel right. And I know you’ll make the right call.”

You smile up at him with teary eyes, glancing back at the front door.

This was your second chance. Another try to do what was right. A test. You could stay with Jack, enjoy the peace. It wasn’t like you hadn’t expected death. In fact, you were surprised it took this long to finally catch up with you.

Or, you could go back to your friends. Help them fight and live your life to the fullest, with the people you loved.

Even if it hurt, you knew what you had to do.

“My friends need me.” You say quietly.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Jack grins, nodding to the door. “So, what you waiting for?”

You walk towards the window, hand reaching out and grasping onto the door knob before you look behind you at where Jack stood smiling.

“I miss you.” Tears slipped down your cheeks.

“Me too, kid.” Jack admits with glittering eyes and you take one last breath, pulling open the door.

Then, you let the comforting darkness consume you.

You had died.

Vecna had finally won, removing you from the playing board.

But the Mind Flayer had other plans, flooding to your body and starting your heart once again. Jack was there to see it through, to ensure you’d make a decision you wouldn’t regret. You hoped you wouldn’t forget it.

You wake up just as you hear the fire power from Nancy’s gun.

Sitting up slowly, you find your eyes drifting to your stomach, the black dust knitting together your wound, healing it. It left marks on your skin, a reminder, but you were alive. You were alive.

A small yelp catches your attention and you look to find Vecna is close to taking the gun away from Nancy, holding his arm out ready to harm your friends.

This time, he wasn’t killing anybody.

You rise to your feet, eyes flashing black, and you raise your chin. You felt more powerful than ever, the Mind Flayer’s connection stronger.

The particles rushed towards Vecna, pinning his arms to his side and restricting his movements. With a growl, he turns around, appeared to be surprised.

And you stand there, glaring, covered in your own blood.

“Impossible”

Flames still danced along his skin, the light somehow darkening his eyes. The anger radiated off of him, feeling more deadly than fire.

You raise your arm, pulling him away from your friends and stepping forward.

“You didn’t think it would be this easy, did you?” You mock his earlier words. As you stared into his milky eyes, for once you didn’t feel afraid.

And he did.

“I’m in control now.” You whisper, the fluttering of black particles spread around your body enough to validate your words.

The fear on his face is a sight to see before a smirk appears on his lips, tilting his head.

“Maybe” He replies with a snarl, “But I’ve already taken away the only thing you love”

You frown before he lets out a cold laugh. Your eyes widen with realisation.

Max.

You feel fury course through your veins, letting out a scream and throwing him towards the wall furthest from your friends, his flaming body dangerously close to the window.

But his power is strong, pushing against your force, even as you give everything you’ve got.

“Nancy!” You strain and she doesn’t hesitate.

She steps beside you, aiming. When the shot rings through the air, Vecna is thrown backwards, the dust and bullets combining to overpower him.

One last yell, and you overpowered him completely.

The shatter of wooden boards echo in the attic, splinters whipping at his skin, as a roar leaves his lips.

You hear the bone-crushing thump, slumping your shoulders, and walking to the broken window. You wipe away the trickle of black blood on your upper lip as if it would make a difference to your overall appearance, staring down at the grass below where Vecna lay, still on fire.

As you glare down at his body, you feel the Mind Flayer relaxing from your body and relieving you of its power. For now.

The burning corpse below didn’t feel like a victory. You wanted to believe that he had been lying to you, trying to trick you. You needed to have hope that Max was still alive. That you caught him before he could take his revenge and fulfil the final chime.

You felt weak as you tear your eyes away from the window, finding solace in the eyes of your friends. You let out a choked sob and you rush towards eachother, capturing you in a hug in the middle of the attic, relief taking over the pain you felt.

The stain of blood still marked the floor, reminding you of the inevitable. You had died. Your heart had stopped beating. But you were here. You were still here.

Finally pulling away from their embrace, you go to speak but are interrupted by Steve’s hands on your cheeks, bringing your forehead against his and gently rubbing his thumb against your skin, wiping your tears with it.

“I’m okay.” You whisper, feeling the erratic beat of his heart, the shakiness of his breath. You reach up and wipe away the strands of hair that clung to his forehead. “We’re okay.”

Nancy clears her throat with raised eyebrows, a smirk dancing on her lips, and you smile, Steve letting you go but instead placing his hand in yours, keeping you close.

“Please, never do that again.” Robin begs, pulling you into another hug while Nancy nods along, happily wiping away a stray tear marking her skin.

When you wince, however, Robin immediately moves away with a frown. You look down at your torn jacket, fingers brushing over the scars that were once so fatal.

“I really need to stop getting these.” You mutter and Steve lets out a laugh.

“That’s not funny.” He remarks, smiling at you and you giggle.

“Then why are you laughing?”

“Is it over?” Nancy voices, brows furrowed, eyes still gleaming with tears, and you grab her hand.

“God, I hope so.” You sigh and Robin sounds out an agreement, a bright smile lighting her once fearful face.

She practically tackled Steve into a hug, you and Nancy bursting into laughter at the sight. You end up resting your head on her shoulder, her hand finding yours, as you watch Steve try and push off a clinging Robin.

.......tick.......

.............tick.............

...................tick...................

.........................tick.........................

Everyone’s glee, the burst of excited conversation, all fades to silence in your mind. A chill strikes your spine.

It’s never that easy

You widen your eyes.

“Y/n?” Nancy asks, prompted by the lack of weight on her left shoulder. Her body tenses when she catches sight of your face, knowing fear when she sees it. “Y/n, what’s wrong?”

You just shake your head, dropping her hand and running back to the window, bracing yourself against the wall as you stare down. You didn’t even hear her words, the blood rushing to your ears through the attack of a heartbeat.

“No.” You whisper out, pushing away and rushing back to the group.

But you don’t stop. Instead, you’re sprinting out of the attic and practically flying down the stairs. You didn’t care if you avoided the vines.

“Y/n!” They called after you. You didn’t stop.

Almost stumbling down the porch steps, you skid into a halt, pain striking your chest.

Vecna wasn’t there.

The scorched grass marked where he had fallen, but he was nowhere to be found. He had cheated death just like you had. And it was mocking you.

You scream into the dark, a scream that you belted with your entire chest; all that pain and despair echoing through the white particles. It was a cry of defeat and torture. You had lost.

Before anyone could move towards you, a loud chime blares from inside the house and heads whip towards the noise.

You all share a look of horror before rushing back into the Creel House, locating the grandfather clock. Two more chimes echo just as you stop in front of it, noticing the cracks on the glass. Just like the vision you had before you died.

The final chime cracked the glass completely, an end set to the time you no longer had.

“Four chimes.” Robin breathes and Nancy gasps.

“Max.”

Steve immediately looks to you as you stare at the clock. Your whole body felt numb. You weren’t sure oxygen was even entering your body anymore.

The first tremor beneath your feet was barely noticeable, gaze attached to the broken glass of a face with hands.

Everything falls apart.

Chapter 22: Part One: Madmax ->

[A/N: surpriiiiiisee!!!]

taglist: @gnnnne / @beepisbeep / @paintballkid711 / @eddiesbirdie / @livasaurasrex / @darktimelegends / @jackierose902109 / @mvrylee / @chervbs / @eternallyvenus / @nervouscatsuit / @f1nn-wolfhard / @hereiamhereigo / @ladybug0095 / @fangirling-4-ever / @astrolockley / @mothmanatemycat / @sheisjoeschateau / @champagnejoker / @umidktbh / @fallinginlovewithqueue / @ilovetaylorswift132006 / @live-the-fangirl-life / @sadbitchfangirl / @cherrymedicine13 / @engenelxver / @sagaonpandora /

[itsbenedict]

From the beginning | Previously | Coin standings | 37 | 19

Huh! Are you eve𝐧 high 𝖊nough l𝔢vel to GRACE ⒹONE- GRAPPLE TEA CREA𝕋E A D๏PPELGANGER that way? ...It probably doeѕn't mattër evɇn if you do lac🄺 the required Exe, because we can just say our hypothᴇtical rando is high enough le۷el. Or... wa𝚒t, no. Hang o𝒏. It has to be you who's u𝐒ing it. But... the ability unlocks at level 8, so even if you're not level 8 yet, if you had so𝕞e DRȺGON BITES CLUES, which they can just go buy, or maybe they already had on their perꙅon for some reason, you could equip that to treat the Arma as one level ɦigher. Then, you can creat🅴 an illuₛory copy of yourself to occupy the cage. Great!

[ed: Okay, but... we've got one more problem. We have to abstract over the details of this conversation, but there's one thing LEAD A HORSE TO WATER definitely couldn't explain to whoever it is- namely, why on earth they need to fake being captured. The obvious thing to do would be to help them escape, or help separate them, or just explain the situation so there's no need to imprison them. We know that we need to satisfy the initial conditions of the game, but no one in-universe should have any idea why this matters.

But it's fine. We can keep doing what I've been doing this whole time- making shit up.]

You might, briefly, be MONDAY'S MORGUE. Yeah, don't even worry about it. Some kind of horrible bird-monster probably just communicated something to you vis-a-vis how they're Lost in Hearts and need help getting out. You'd probably love to just help them out of here, maybe get them some medical care- but you can't do that right now. Indeed, the only possible course of action is for you to somehow trick Melody into thinking this poor chimera has been successfully imprisoned in SPECIMEN STORAGE.

Okay but why though. Things are definitely a little zoomed out, a little forced, but if you don't have a justification for this bit of skulduggery, there can't be a plausible correspondence to reality. Luckily, you just happen to be...

...concocting a complicated scheme to DETHRONE YOUR WOK, which became king of the kitchen in a coup last week. An imprisoned monster is key to intimidating it into resigning.

...in a hurry to repair the plumbing, since the TOILET TEMPO IS DYNAMO and flooding the bathroom, and explaining this crazy situation to people would take too long.

...in need of someone to help arrange some decorative music-playing rabbit candles. I LIT ACCORDION BUNNIES, and Melody hates them and you need her to leave ASAP so they don't melt.

That last one might be the biggest stretch so far, tbh.

...in possession of a BRAYING TATTLE OPAL which will tell on you for all the slacking you've been doing if you get near any authority figures for any reason.

...near NO FEWER FARMERS than you used to be, and the farmers just hate it when perfectly good giant monster livestock gets out and they have to catch them again.

Continued | literallywho | careswhat | thisguy'sstatsare

[skzoologist]

Hi!

Congratulations on your bolg and your success!

You deserve the whole world! Thanks for running this blog, your writing really gives me a lot. Your style and the feelings you convey are all so beautiful.

The event you created is like a big, wholesome hug from you to us. Thank you!

Okay. so back to business. My request from you: "May we meet again." This sentence means a lot to me because of "the 100" series (ILOVEDIT). In the series, this phrase was said when they said goodbye to each other, so I'd like to see what you think of this phrase among the members. I don't want to define the genre, in my eyes it's up to you. You are doing a great job in everything as I went through your blog. Maybe a ghost AU? It seems interesting to me. And pls interact with these characters: Bae, Hyunjin, Minho, Jisung, Seungmin, Changbin. I'd love to see everyone, but you said it's harder when you have a lot of characters to work/think with, so I tried to pick a few, pls don't hate me for my choice.

So yeah thanks if you write it.

Kind regards

word count: ~2.8k

warnings: it's angst, so be prepared

genre: heavy angst

a/n: You have no clue how much this means to me. Are you sure you meant to send this to me, and not someone else? I am undeserving of these nice words, because these are all I ever wanted to hear. 'You deserve the whole world' is something I use for people I love or look up to, so it means so, so much to me. And the fact that you feel like this event is a warm hug from me? It makes everything all a little better. While I haven't watched that series yet (might after your words about it), your request spawned something far more than a small drabble in my mind. It could outgrow itself even more, if there is need for it in the future. There is also some Bae lore hidden in it, and I hope you'll enjoy it. And don't worry about your choices about the members, I love all of them and would never judge you. I wrote that 'gets hard to write the more members there are' so someone wouldn't request like, every member of two whole bands. An OT8 request? I can do that with pleasure. This note turned long and I apologise, I just want to thank you for taking part in the event and for liking what I do, and may we meet again 💜

Please let me know if I left a warning or anything out, I will add it in! Reblogs, likes and feedback are greatly appreciated!

!I don't condone anyone stealing my work and posting it anywhere without my permission, or feeding it to AI!

!This is just fiction, my interpretation of Stray Kids. By no means is this how they are and how they behave in real life!

‘Your departure was so sudden.

It took every one of us by surprise, and in the worst way possible. I still remember to this day your gentle smiles, the ones that barely curved your lips, or the ones that stretched so far your eyes turned into twinkling little crescents. I loved the way you cutely pouted whenever something you were looking forward to got cancelled, or when we teased you a bit too much. Your skin would flush a warm shade, the colour of strawberries, something you never failed to share with us, despite how much you liked them.

Now all of those are gone, only living in our memories, fated to be faded and erased.

Poof, just like that.

The day we found you was supposed to be one of celebration. Everything was going perfectly, the final day of the tour ending with a bang and the loud cheering of our fans. We were all so happy, and you looked so happy too. Your eyes shined with that pride you loved to look at the members with, and just the memory itself causes my chest to play a bittersweet melody.

After the lights dimmed and we were off the stage, the excitement carried us to the rooms at the back, to have a feast filled with laughter.

You were only supposed to grab some drinks.

Instead we found your unmoving body on the floor in a dark room, as if you hid yourself away in your final moments so we wouldn’t have to witness them.

The days bled together after that. None of us was the same. Some of us lived in denial, while some struggled to accept reality, desperately wishing this was all a bad dream.

It sure felt like it. As if we lived in a hellish timeline, where we failed to notice the signs early and give you proper medical help. We should have seen it coming, with how frequent your migraines were getting.

But we failed.

Our leader just holed himself in, burying himself under mountains of work, uselessly hoping it would distract him. The music he’d created was proof that he failed. Our second oldest turned cold, impossibly so, the playfulness killed out of him. I think it died along with you, something I cannot fault him for to this day. Hyunjin stopped laughing, spending most of his time in his room. One day I stole a glance inside, and it was filled with portraits of you. I haven’t looked into his room ever since.

The young ones took it harder than us, and it was so easy to tell. Jisung was rewatching your favourite shows constantly, either by himself or one of us, as if our presence somehow mimicked yours. Felix… Felix tried the hardest to stay cheerful. He tried to smile and joke around, but eventually, he broke down and fell apart. I miss his brownies. Seungmin became more stoic, if that was even possible. His voice is harsh and critical, not only towards us, but himself as well. Our maknae seems lost all the time, now that you aren’t here to guide him. Sometimes I catch him turning to the side after he’s struggling with something, only to realise you aren’t there to give advice and help.

Me?

I’m the fragile thread that’s trying to keep us together, but hyung…it’s really hard.

I miss you so much.’

The sound of paper turning broke the silence, a new set of pages filled with ink ready to be read.

‘We are doing better now, at least I think.

Chan hyung occasionally leaves his studio, looking like death itself, but… at least we see him now. He also fell back into his leader duties, keeping us in check and making sure we get enough rest, despite not resting enough himself. I’m grateful for it, as I could take a little breather myself this way, but I still have to take care of him, as no one else is capable of it right now. Minho hyung is still distant, but he is slowly returning to his old, playful self. Although he still doesn’t get handsy with us, like he used to. Hyunjin hasn’t made a lot of progress, the light still missing from his eyes. But at least he can be coaxed out of his room for a movie night, a big progress in itself.

Jisung turned overly clingy, as if he was afraid we would suddenly disappear as well. And while Minho was keeping his distance, Jisung was the only one he let latch onto him, hushing the boy amidst another breakdown. Felix seemed to be fine now, his smile back in its place and laughter regularly leaving his lips. But we could see how they weren’t truly genuine, how he never went into the kitchen anymore to bake, how he seemed to zone out when he thought no one was watching. I can only hope we can help him. Seungmin stayed the same, regrettably, the walls around his heart now so thick not even we could break through. Although he would sometimes join us for a movie night as well, whenever I asked. It brought the smallest of hopes into my heart. And Jeongin, little Jeongin, now sported dark circles under his eyes, the skin raw and red regularly. His aversion to skinship lessened, accepting our hugs without protest.

We can recover from this, I just know it. Even if it takes years or a lifetime, but we can.

Or at least I thought we could.

It was a friday night, when we would usually gather around and spend some time together and delude ourselves that everything was fine. We would watch movies, a lot of your favourites in there despite how many times Jisung had seen them already, and just chat or sit in silence, drinking the others’ presence in.

Somehow the topic of conversation turned from our next album’s concepts to pickup lines, and I’d stupidly made the comment how you’d have loved these.

The shift in the atmosphere was instant.

Felix and Jeongin immediately started crying, Jisung soon to follow, as everyone else just sat there with glossy eyes. Nobody was able to console them, mainly because they were too busy trying not to break apart themselves. I failed at it myself, the mistake I’d made heavy on my shoulders.

That was when you’d first made contact with us, making us question our sanity.

All I remember was that the couch next to Jeongin dipped and his tears were wiped away by seemingly nothing, only goosebumps remaining in their place. It continued with Felix, then Jisung, shock clogging their throat as they stared up with wide eyes, as if they were seeing something. If it hadn’t happened to me as well, I wouldn’t have believed it, but…

They were all looking up at you and your ghostly appearance.

Your smile remained the same, if not a bit sad now as you looked at us, your eyes crinkling up in that slight arch and looking alive again. Your outfit remained the same, that dreaded stage outfit we’d last seen you in. Despite that, I was incredibly happy to see you and those cursed clothes again.

With a final swipe of your thumb against my wet cheeks you floated away, consoling the remaining members the best you could. I could tell how frustrated you were, how it pained you that all you could do was manifest power into drying up our tears, unable to touch us properly and bring us into a hug.

Not everyone understood that you were a ghost right away. Their hands phased through you, their eyes turning glossy once again the more they tried.

It was painful to watch.

And yet, you tried your best to meet their touch, your faint appearance slowly becoming stronger, as if you were alive again. Skin met skin and tears were let loose, but this time out of joy, instead of sorrow.

You told us how proud of us you were, that we were still here and continuing forward, as you were buried under our bodies and hugs. We teared up again, the tears never really stopping ever since you’d showed up. We protested and told you all our fears and anguish, how we missed you and how impossible it all felt to continue without you. Yet, you merely chuckled and strengthened your hold on us, as if you knew something we didn’t.

Hours later we all remained in the same position, afraid that you would disappear if we were to let go. When we voiced this, purely because you’d questioned why hadn’t we gotten up to eat and sleep yet, you sighed, the sound familiar and missed.

It didn’t take you long to phase through us, earning panicked sounds from us in response. You merely looked down at us with your hands on your hips and shook your head, telling us to wait there as you floated away into the kitchen. Of course we couldn’t let you out of our sight, in fear of you not appearing again, so we followed you like little ducklings and watched as you whipped up some omelettes for us, the fridge mostly empty besides a few basic ingredients.

We all stared at our plates, mostly still not believing what was happening and questioning if we actually went insane or not. But one bite shattered those worries, the food warm and divine. It brought tears into my eyes, silently weeping as I savoured each bite, the others in similar situations.

You hummed in delight when we all finished eating in your usual way of saying how much of a good job we did in taking care of ourselves. We watched you take the dirty dishes away, stacking them into the sink to wash later.

All of us were afraid to leave and get ready to sleep.

I remember the fear that gripped my heart just from the mere thought that this was all just for one day, and you would be gone the next. It took you coaxing us and your slightly see through form to accompany us as we got ready for bed, none of us willing to part ways with you.

And when it came to sleep, we adamantly stared at you instead, unable to hold you anymore as you said you were too tired to manifest yourself. It only added fuel to our fears.

We all sat on the floor of our living room, blankets and pillows on the ground, eyes drooping, yet never staying closed for long.

I fell asleep, afraid you wouldn’t be there when I woke up.’

The shifting of clothes and the crinkling of paper filled the silent space.

‘You were there the next day. And on the day after that, and the day after that as well. You were with us for long weeks, months even, as if that horrible day had never happened.

Everyone felt better, as if you appeared just to heal us. I wouldn’t doubt that, as kind and caring you were. It feels as if life took you away from us as some kind of punishment, so we could experience how harsh the world truly is without you by our side.

The group was back to their usual selves, something even the fans commented on. Chan was back at the dorms, spending only the minimum required time at the studio. Minho was back to his playful and weird self, grabbing at us and making weird noises randomly. I never thought I would ever miss those sounds. Hyunjin started laughing again, the sound like a healing balm to my soul. He cleaned out his room too, gifting some of your portraits to us, storing the others away as memories.

Jisung started joking around more, having stopped binge watching shows in a bundle of blankets. He was still clingy, but to a normalish extent. Felix started genuinely laughing and smiling again, your presence glueing his broken pieces together. On the second week of your reappearance he even baked, saddened that you couldn’t taste his cookies anymore. Seungmin was back to teasing us again, his puppy self coming out. Those walls around him crumbled at your gentle touch, and I never thought I would be so glad to have him constantly bother me once again. And lastly, our little maknae seemed happy, no more sleepless nights spent with practice and worry. He still seemed lost sometimes, but you were there to help him in the blink of an eye.

Everything felt good now, as if you weren’t even gone in the first place.

Something we never should have forgotten.

I still remember how we all blatantly ignored the signs once again, as how we’d done it in the past before your passing. You slowly started to spend less and less time cuddling with us, your form turning more and more translucent. You even seemed sadder, something you masked quite well in our presence.

One night, you gathered us together in the living room. Happy to spend time with you, we didn’t even question why, something that turned out to be a big mistake.

Your form seemed so frail, as if it was a wind away from disappearing forever. Yet, you still sported a smile, only for our sake, as if you didn’t do so, we would break into tiny pieces once again.

Words left your mouth, but I couldn’t quite comprehend them. So you repeated yourself softly, holding a hand to my cheek, the presence there so faint I could barely feel it.

You were disappearing from this world, forever this time.

I didn’t want to believe it, the air stuck in my lungs. I faintly heard Felix and Jisung break apart and start sobbing, your gentle hushes and words not able to fully comfort them. Next was Jeongin to crack, your thumbs that were now completely see through barely wiping his tears away. Hyunjin who was next to him grabbed onto you, unable to believe what you’d said. It took you longer to console him, his grip unrelenting. Chan soon joined the others, unable to keep up the tough leader act after being hurt so much. But you’d never commented on it, not even then, you merely hushed him as he hugged your slowly disappearing form. Minho silently wept, head turned down and eyes hidden underneath his hair. Even still, you could tell, kneeling down before him and comforting him. It broke him completely, sobs now loud and pleading.

The last one you turned to was Seungmin, silent tears already forming rivers down his face, lips pressed together tightly. You went over to him, even if it seemed to cost you a great amount of strength to do so, and cupped his face. Some tears collided with your faint hands, some passed through and fell onto the floor. He placed both of his hands onto yours, not wanting to see you go. But you smiled at him, a bittersweet smile, before uttering your last words and completely disappearing, leaving open wounds and trauma in your place.

“May we meet again, in another life, in another time.”

I wanted to live with you and create memories together in this life, yet you left us. Not once, but twice.

How cruel of you, hyung.’

The sound of the door opening stole my attention, my hand automatically closing the book shut, sealing those memories away temporarily.

“Hey Bin. What’s up?” - it was Jisung, having just come back from an interview.

I merely shrugged as I stood up to ruffle his hair, earning a whine from him and a smile from me. He swatted me away as I tried to do it again, his eyes drifting down towards the table and its content.

“Oh.” - that was all that left his lips, the expression on his face now turning soft and wistful.

I watched him slowly walk towards the book, taking it in his hands and carefully caressing its decorated cover, courtesy of every one of us. Memories seemed to pass by in front of his eyes, the surface now slightly glossy and dimmed.

“Hyung, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” - he muttered before gingerly placing the book back onto its original place, a shelf that sat proudly on the middle of the wall, dedicated to one person only.

I couldn’t help but smile, the memories now sitting fresh in my mind, the wound now years later healed and scarred over.

Jisung was by the door already, looking expectantly back at me. I quickly grabbed my keys and jacket after putting on my shoes, looking back at that shelf one last time.

“May we meet again, hyung.”

[heckyeahponyscans]

Thoughts on G5 MLP Make Your Mark Chapter 5, Episode 1: Cutie Blossom Bash

Summary: Misty's friends take her to Zephyr Heights for the Cutie Blossom Bash, a celebration for all the ponies who've gotten a cutie mark in the past year. The only one not excited about the celebration is . . . Misty.

Thoughts: Great episode, and I'm glad we get to see how the others got their cutie marks! (So Misty getting swooped into the air by magic as it happened WAS above and beyond how it normally goes.)

It was so nice seeing Argyle again and I liked how he was lingering right next door to make sure everything went well with Sunny's lemonade stand. When the two ponies started fighting, he frowned and started to move around to the street, but Sunny defused the conflict before he got there.

My impression from the G5 movie was that Queen Haven didn't invent the "royals can fly" lie, she inherited it, and that matches up with Zipp's flashback, since I would expect a more massive reaction she was the first pegasus in living memory to (seemingly) fly.

Something interesting about G5 is that cutie marks are both super important (acting as a magical power up) and very understated. Like, I don't think the show ever turned to the audience to explain what they are, nor are there any Cutie Mark Crusaders running around . The information is introduced through context clues, especially with Misty wanting a cutie mark so badly.

(Sidenote, but in my mind cutie marks are 'natural' magic, similar to a seed sprouting, which is why they didn't disappear during the dystopian period. Dalmatians are born white and get their spots later, I imagine a cutie mark is something like that.)

It also seems to matter less what a cutie mark actually shows and waaay less job / talent related. Although even in G4 it was more like a Rorschach test than anything else. Rarity's symbol isn't a sewing needle, it's jewels; Cheerilee has flower symbols and says it symbolizes "the bright smiling faces of [her] students".

I didn't mind G4's cutie marks being job-related, I think it's fine to have a fictional utopia where everyone finds their dream job and their work is like a fun hobby instead of a tiresome chore. (Especially in kids' media.) But I do like G5's take better, where they symbolize who you are more than what you do. As Queen Haven says, it's a step towards becoming "your best, most authentic self."

Speaking of cutie marks, a butterfly is perfect for Misty because, as she realized in this episode, it symbolizes her growth and ability to change.

As Megan said, "When you look at a caterpillar it's ugly to the eye, but remember a caterpillar becomes a butterfly." Thank you Megan.

A lot of this episode was about Misty's anxieties, which I found very relatable because I had terrible social anxiety that I didn't really get a handle on until I was in my thirties. (Don't ever stop working on yourself or feel like you are "too old" to be happier, whether you are thirteen or eighty-three.) It was great seeing Misty expressing her feelings and vulnerabilities to her friends.

It really drove home that although Sunny is a protagonist, Misty is THE protagonist of MYM, the character who grows and changes the most.

Misty's terror and embarrassment aside, the Cutie Blossom Bash events were very, well, cute! I like that it's a communal celebration of all the ponies who got their cutie marks and the silly little flags they carry. (And I like Seashell getting even more of a spotlight, retro ponies represent!)

Overall this is one of the top episodes for me so far.

Random thoughts:

They remembered that baby Sunny didn't have rainbow in her hair . . . but forgot to scrub Mane Melody from the background of one of the shots with Argyle. Whoops!

During the brunch with Queen Haven, it struck me that she is the first kind-hearted mother figure that Misty has ever experienced. (Well, since she was a tiny foal anyway.)

Argyle's color scheme reminds me of G3 Seaspray

When Zipp starts to tell her cutie mark story, Pipp interrupts and Zipp sarcastically mouths along to Pipp's words, great little touch

Izzy got her cutie mark "on the eves of the Translucent Moonstone Moon"

I think I know where Gertrude, Opaline's beloved mane brush, went; Misty gave Gertrude to Pipp as a get-well present in "A Little Horse"! With all my heart, I hope Opaline doesn't seek revenge due to her big evil plans being spoiled, but rather over this hairbrush.

Since I already had the toy of Misty I knew her mane would change color, but I figured it would be due to magic or something, not hairspray. Love the excuse Misty came up with about the magic shrub.

Opaline legit laughs behind her hoof like an anime villain, what a treasure <3

[jennycalendar]

OOF, we've started to hit "scenes that have aged like milk with the full context of river's reveal!" the doctor speaking with SUCH condescending certainty that river could never be his equal, could never in the world measure up to him in terms of space-time complexity, when arguably river is That And More...i feel two kinds of ways about this, one very colored by my doctor/river softness, one very colored by my writer brain frustration. i shall start with the first one.

i do think that there exists a way to read this as the doctor continuing to write off river and refuse to admit that she could be A Person to him. he doesn't know her, so he does not know enough to make this call, and to tell her she doesn't know what she's talking about when he Doesn't Know Her is patently absurd. he's been digging himself into defensive anger all of this episode, all while floating around her like a lil satellite, not wanting to admit that he does actually absolutely like her, so i do think he would be off-the-cuff harsh with her in a moment like this! plus of course he has another plan + he is not one to let people sacrifice themselves for him when he can avoid it, so character-wise, this tracks.

but the thing is, river is right! and the fact that the narrative sorta has her put up these garden-variety protestations instead of having her go "you really have no fucking clue what you're talking about" yet again showcases the weakness of shifting all melody pond hints all the way into season six, and making all of these hints so tiny that no casual viewer could conceivably knit them all together! this was a moment that needed a hint, and the fact that it doesn't have one turns it into this brutal and uncomfortable dismissal both upon first watch and rewatch.

first watch, the doctor is flat-out saying "you're not as important as me" to someone he's ostensibly starting a flirtationship with, and he is constantly saying things like this to river -- i'd never trust you, you embarrass me, why did you have to be this, etc. which is just VISCERALLY uncomfortable to sit with when we just do not get nearly enough tenderness between them to counterbalance... all of that! (we get tenderness and flirting and silliness, but none of it really outweighs how awful some of the things he says to her are!)

rewatch, WE KNOW RIVER IS RIGHT. full stop. she is a complicated space time event on a level that gets frankly ridiculous. maybe the doctor's been doing this for longer but i truly don't think (at least in new who, can't speak for classic) that anyone's timeline is as consistently fucked and nonsensical as river's. so when the doctor dismisses her and she just keeps going "but i don't want you to die!!!" that seems wildly inconsistent with river's character (or, at the very least, how the narrative seems to want us to view river) -- she definitely keeps her cards close to her chest, but if the doctor is in danger and she knows that her life will work as well as his, she will Literally Die For Him to preserve the timeline. as has been shown to us in the library. this is a moment where i truly think that a consistently written river would have dug her heels in and brought up, rightly, that he does not know her and does not know enough about her to make that call. (and that in itself would feed so beautifully into the doctor's anger/insecurities around not knowing who she is, and being drawn to her despite that! they could start having another married couple fight in front of the angels! so many things are possible that would make this make more sense!)

i think what i am going to keep coming back to over and over is that we did not get enough time with river to make this story feel consistent and planned. we have the skeleton of a story, but we needed foreshadowing, filler moments, episodes where river is just there kinda fucking around with the crew and establishing a rapport with amy and rory. she is simultaneously incredibly important to the doctor and the ponds and a complete stranger who breezes in here and there, and there's more that could be done with that! maybe with LESS of the doctor being a dick to her. (or, at least, same amount of the doctor being a dick to her, but much more of their loosely sketched s7 dynamic, where it's clear he adores her and always hears her and would give up years of his life just to make her feel a tiny bit better!)