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youngbugandtonystank · 5 years ago

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I think Peter has a great development in FFH, and one that people sadly go through in the real world: struggling with grief but realizing life goes on. You suggested you analyze Peter’s grief in FFH and I would love that, emotional as it is, it’s inspiring for people going through the same thing. Please do it! Thanks

Hi!

I was going to do the Happy one first but I’ve been wanting to do this one for a while, so I’m going to start with this analysis. Hope you guys don’t mind. Also, I’m sure they were more asks about the FFH one and I’m sorry if I didn’t include yours in the list but my inbox is a mess right now, so I apologize.

As an expert-master of grief that I am lol I think I really can read Peter pretty well in this movie, one of the reasons I was avoiding this analysis was because it’s too painful for me hahaha, it hits close to home.

Now, let’s track this down. Peter is just a kid but this kid has been through so much, it’s painful. Peter lost his parents and was sent to live with his aunt and uncle, then he, unfortunately, had to see his father figure; Ben Parker, die in front of him and the result of that gave him a sense of responsibility for the rest of his life:

‘When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.‘

He's always walking around with a ton of traumatic and painful memories.

Let’s be honest, he believes he ‘killed’ his own uncle, that it was because of him that Ben is dead. It happened because of him from his perspective. So it’s natural for this boy to pass through a long process of grief but here’s the catch, Peter never does. Peter always avoids tragedy until it piles up to the point of unbearable. Peter bears with his responsibility and holds himself accountable for things that are not even his fault but this kid is not capable of processing grief the way it’s supposed to be. I think he wasn’t completely healed of his grief from Ben’s death when he met Tony but as the time passed and he saw another opportunity of having that amazing experience of having another male parental figure, he relented. And now I bet he regrets it.

I kinda wish FFH went into more detail with this so certain fans would understand why having Tony was a good thing for Peter. As he got to know Tony, he started to let him in. He saw him as a father figure and relied on him just like any other teenager would with their parents. Peter was starting to process of healing with Tony. One of the things I love the most about their relationship is that they helped each other grow. Tony learned and experienced something new when he met Peter and Peter started to let another figure into his life.

Many of you don’t like this but this kid did want Tony’s approval. He confirmed this himself:

In all the weirdness and outside-of-himselfness that went along with becoming Spider-Man, that one conversation with Mr. Stark had made Peter feel . . . okay. Normal, even. Something he never thought he'd feel again. Peter knew he should feel all these things without needing Mr. Stark's approval. That your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man didn't need the approval of multibillionaire, Super Hero philanthropists to help out the people on his block. But, right now? Peter wanted Mr. Stark to approve of him more than anything.

And this translates into the movie so well, Tony made Peter feel normal, made him feel understood and that he didn’t need to do this alone. Peter always feels like he’s the only one that can do things. He feels alone.

He looked from the ship to the other kids on the bus to see if anyone else saw it. Nothing. Just him. As usual.

He even described Ned as ‘blissfully ignorant of any imminent danger.’

So after getting used to just him and May, after meeting Tony, after getting used to being Spider-Man, Peter creates a sense of stability and normalcy that helps him heal and continue with his life at a semi-normal pace. In Endgame, he loses that stability all over again. When you lose something that is essentially keeping you together, you start using coping mechanisms to fill in the spots that you consider empty. The ones that are going to break you. Peter doesn’t feel ready to handle all of that pain at once so he starts avoiding the issue.

Peter not only lost Tony, but he also lost his life and remembers fighting in a big war where he got attacked multiple times by an alien army and the mad titan that killed him, Tony and half of the universe. Nobody is ready to deal with that kind of trauma. Nobody.

FFH tells us that it’s been 8 months since The Blip. 8 months Peter’s been avoiding things related to Tony and everything related to Titan in general. He doesn't want to feel the weight of all-consuming grief because one minute he had everything and the next, that disappeared, his semi-normalcy was broken up by waves of tragedy.

Notice how in HOCO he was desperately seeking the superhero big-league adventures; wanting to be part of the Avengers, fighting crime on a bigger scale, fighting villains and more, then in FFH, he was desperately seeking the normal life experiences; romance, field trips, school events, etc.

And I think everyone around him can feel that coming from him so they make sure to reassure him all the time and he gratefully accepts any kind of reassuring comfort he can get from anyone:

There are so many hugs in this movie, I can’t keep track of all of them. I was surprised Peter didn’t hug Mr. Delmar too, I think he even hugged his teacher on one occasion lmao

I think we all know who was the last person Peter hugged before all of this:

It’s really sad when he’s trying his hardest to avoid all of his trauma and nothing seems to work for him. He avoids Fury’s calls, tells May he really needs a break and that he really needs the trip, everything to get as far away as possible from New York.

Anything that saves him from thinking about this:

First, look at him. He’s in a room full of drawings dedicated to Tony Stark and the kid is talking about a plan on how to woo a girl, even Ned is wondering what is going on. Then he advises him to not do any of that.

Then, on the plane, he has to actually listen to his teacher talk about funerals and his only entertainment from the rest of the trip is:

Then he arrives and they get attacked by a gigantic monster. And Peter fights this monster. He hears his classmates discuss this and he hears them call Mysterio a combination of Iron Man and Thor. Notice how after this, instead of calling someone for help or find out where did that monster comes from, he just starts talking about his plan all over again, like nothing happened. Anything related to Tony is a big nope for him.

Unfortunately for Peter:

He’s everywhere. Peter is starting to realize he can’t escape Tony anymore. He told Happy that he sees his face everywhere he goes, this is not only confirmation that Peter’s been trying to avoid it but that he can’t no longer pretend Tony’s not there.

On every occasion someone brought up Tony, Peter couldn’t handle it. He either breaks down or has a panic attack.

He quickly gets attached to someone else and even tells Beck that it’s nice to have someone to talk to about the superhero world, who used to do that with him? Tony. Peter deeply misses him but he’s not willing to accept the fact that he’s gone, he’s just pushing and pushing that reality away from him. Beck is a great manipulator and he can see that Peter doesn’t want to be reminded of this so he pushes Peter back on the topic: ‘It's a hard path. You see things, you do things... Make choices. People look up to you... Even if you win a battle sometimes, they die.’

He even MAKES Peter see Tony everywhere, he’s using Tony’s death against him. He’s taking advantage of the fact that the poor kid can’t handle his father figure’s death:

You know he’s the villain and you what he’s trying to do, but the fact that even he can see what Peter’s trying to do is really sad. He later tells Peter this: ‘ I tried to help you walk away. Now you're making me do this…’ and proceeds to show him Tony’s grave, Iron Man’s zombie suit and tells him what Peter’s been thinking this whole time: ‘If you were good enough, maybe Tony would still be alive’

He’s dealing with two things at the same time: grief and trauma. His grief won’t let him breathe and his trauma is not letting him forget. It’s back and forth. If he lets any of these things in, then he knows he’s done for sure. Everything is going to come back in.

Let's check the boxes:

Peter doesn’t want to remember or touch anything related to Tony.

He doesn’t want to deal with his own trauma/PTSD.

He doesn’t want to carry Tony’s legacy. He feels like he’s not ready and feels like he’s never going to be ready for that.

He’s desperately trying to live his life even if he feels like he’s breaking apart every 5 minutes.

This kid needs help lmao

There are occasions where he spaces out, gets angry, looks like he’s about to choke, etc.

These are the symptoms of someone who’s dealing with PTSD.

When you’re dealing with trauma, you feel the need to shield yourself from everything that might hurt or trigger you. In some parts of the movie, I felt like Peter wasn’t even there. Just think about it. He disappeared and he felt himself disappear before anyone else did. He lost his sense of reality for a couple of seconds but it was enough, life took too much from him in just those seconds. For him, it was 5 minutes but in reality, he lost 5 years. On top of that, you can tell he feels guilty for Tony’s death as well even if its not his fault.

This is the part that haunts me:

And this is the one that heals me:

Let’s be clear, this movie is about Peter learning how to be his own superhero and learning that it’s ok if he doesn’t meet other’s expectations. But this kid still needs to process grief, he still needs to work on his traumas, he needs to get some help. He doesn’t just heal after defeating the villain and that’s it. Hopefully, we’ll see that in the next movie.

Ok, off-topic but I swear, when Beck said Peter looked stupid with Tony’s glasses, I was about to throw some serious hands lmaooo

Thnx♥

#tony stark #peter parker #tom holland #far from home #marvel #irondad #spiderman #iron man #mcu #robert downey jr #endgame #infinity war #avengers #analysis #may parker #ned leeds #happy hogan

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beermanoftana · 5 years ago

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gee, thanks, karen [peter parker]

a repost, originally posted in my former writing blog

relationship: peter parker x stark!reader

warnings: swearing, none; mistakes here or there

request (anon): hello!! how about hoco stark!reader x peter where he goes to her lab and asks for her help to fix the suit bc karen isn’t working well lately and while they low key flirt and fix the suit, she puts on the mask to check everything and karen starts telling her how much peter likes her, and she dies inside bc she likes him too and they kiss? maybe ending with irondad or bucky interrupting and they are like :o

notes: i was going to use the other character in the end but i realized continuity wouldn’t make sense but then i was like fuck that, but I finished it already anyways…second out of the two peter parker x reader fics, it’ll be awhile before i agree to make them again

summary: karen’s broken and peter asks y/n stark for help

You were quietly working in your lab, humming every now and then to a tune that would pop into your head every so and so.

You thanked your father for giving you your own lab in the Avengers compound. There were cameras everywhere on your floor and you knew that he would be watching your every move when he could. Sometimes, you would wave at one camera when you knew he was in the control room. It would never fail to make you giggle, and Tony would always comment that you are such a silly little girl for laughing at your own antics.

Sometimes, some of the team members would come over and ask for your help if Tony was busy. Or they were too lazy to think of solutions on their own. But hey, who’s complaining about helping them?

They would need help with their gadgets, sometimes for work or fighting, most of the time for their everyday use, like their cellphones and laptops, tablets and watches. You don’t mind. In fact, you enjoy it. It makes you feel useful in this compound filled with superheroes.

Your favorite to help out was Peter Parker. He was also a genius with technology, but sometimes he needed a hand with his suit and weapons. You loved helping him out with his webshooters since there were so many possibilities for it. You were even the one who helped your father create his current suit with the Karen interface.

And although Peter turned down the calling of being an Avenger, he would still come over from time to time, and you noticed it’s mostly just to talk to you.

That thought made you smile. You stuck out your tongue and giggled a little in giddiness.

You continued to type in some data in the paper you were writing on. As much as you loved the technology of your father, you still loved the old fashioned pen and paper. It was easier to overlay if needed. You wanted to see all the possible choices before you typed it in the database.

But you thought of Peter again and that tickled your body. “Oh, come on. He isn’t over Liz Allan yet, you silly. He’s still hungover, he can’t be into me that quick. Can he?” But you shake your head.

You’re pretty good at telling if someone liked someone, except of course, when it came to you. But you pretend you do anyway. You have yet to be proven wrong. You smile and nod your head slowly, twirling the pen in your hand with your fingers. “Looks like you’ve got your groove on, y/n Stark.”

“What was that?”

You turned around, surprised to see your father standing behind you. A device in hand and a hologram sticking out. “Hi, Dad.”

“You’ve got your what on, y/n?”

You giggled nervously. “Nothing. It’s nothing, Dad. I was just talking to myself.”

“No, I wanna hear what you said. You’ve got your what on, y/n Stark?”

You sighed in defeat. “My groove,” you said softly.

“I can’t hear you.”

“My groove,” you repeated louder.

“Your groove, huh?” Tony nodded his head. “Well, you know what you should have, y/n? Your homework.”

“Dad,” you whined. “I’ll do that later. I’m in the middle of a discovery here.”

“Oh really? What is it? The end of homework.”

You raised your pen in the air. “That will be my project!”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Okay, whatever. Just hurry so you can finish your homework. It’s a school day tomorrow, y/n. Remember that.”

You smiled sweetly. “Yes, Daddy.”

Tony left the room, leaving you alone.

You turned back to your paper and grit your teeth. So you lied about making a discovery. You were simply testing out some different designs for a suit you wanted to wear. It was very similar to the technology of your father’s but it had no name yet, you didn’t know what to call it, not even a working name.

You sit on the stool and tap the pen on the paper. “If I do this…then this happens, which, of course, I can’t let that happen. So I have to do this…but I have yet to figure out how this one works for it to be able to do that.” You sighed in frustration. “Okay, but if this does happen, which leads to this, then perhaps, just perhaps, it will reach my goal.”

You spin the chair around a few times until you get dizzy. “But we can’t say anything precise with just ‘perhaps’ can we? Oh, y/n, you gotta try a bit harder if you wanna reach the Tony Stark level.”

Finally, after about an hour, you decided that you’ve had enough. You shut down your lab and head to your room to do some homework. “See you tomorrow,” you said with a yawn. “To new discoveries!” You raise your balled fist in the air.

You’re in the middle of a math problem when someone knocks on your door. You groan, you like math and you were getting the answer to this certain number.

“Come in!” you called out, not bothering to look at the door. It was probably just your dad and you wanted him to see you concentrating.

“Hey, y/n.”

You looked up at the young voice. It was Peter Parker and he was holding his Spider-man mask in his hand. “Oh, Peter. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“When am I ever expected?” he snickered.

You smiled and laughed a little. “True.”

“Am I disturbing you?” he asked. He gestured toward your table and smiled. “You look like you’re doing some homework.”

“It’s no problem,” you said with a shrug. “It’s just math.”

“Which you absolutely love,” he responded with a cheery tone. He knew that was something you two had in common. “You hate it when you’re being interrupted when you do your math problems.”

You squint one eye. “That is true, too.” You looked at him for awhile before he raised his eyebrows. “Will you just let me finish this one math problem. I’m almost done, I swear. I just need a few digits to write. Sit.”

He laughed and nodded as he sat on the other chair. “There’s no need to explain, y/n. I’m the intruder and I interrupted you during your favorite subject. Go on, go on. Take as much time as you need.”

You smiled and half-jokingly said, “You say that and I’ll finish the whole homework.” Then you continued answering the number. After you’ve secretly finished answering one more number, you turned back to him and grinned. “Done! Now what did you want to talk about?”

“There’s something wrong with Karen,” he replied, holding up his mask.

“Oh no!” You exclaim, standing up and grabbing his mask. “Not Karen! What did you do, Peter Parker?”

He laughed nervously. “I may have fallen flat on my face.”

You looked at him immediately. Now that he mentioned it, his nose was a bit broken and he had a cut on his lip and some scratches along his face. “Are you okay?” you ask, although you know that it’s too late to ask that now. “Have you gone to the clinic?”

“I can’t go to my school’s infirmary or the hospital and mobile clinics,” he chuckled, “without being asked what had happened.”

“Why don’t you go to the one downstairs?”

He shrugged. “Can we fix Karen first?”

You sighed. “Okay, sure. Come on.”

The two of you left your room and walked over to your lab.

You tinker with the technology your father put in but you also recognize some of the pieces you’ve planted in the interface.

Peter did everything he could to help, in fact, there were moments wherein his mind thought of the better solutions. You weren’t undermining his brains, no, of course not, but you were also thinking of your own pride, you did put some of the tidbits that was the reason as to why Karen had come to life.

“You’re really good at this,” Peter said.

“Only because I want to impress you,” you replied. “You’re not so bad yourself, Mr. Parker.”

“Only because a pretty girl is with me.”

You look at him with a smirk playing in your lips. “So how’s Liz Allan holding up?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I think she hates me.”

“I would hate you, too. You know, if you told me you needed a rain check for our homecoming date when we’re in the homecoming dance.”

“Aw come on, I’d never do that to you, y/n. I like you.”

You laughed. “And I like you, too.” You shake your head. “Go to the clinic, Mr. Parker. We’re almost done with Karen.”

He sighed and patted his mask. “See you, girl.”

You snickered.

After a few minutes, you think Karen is doing okay. So you do the thing everyone would do to test it out, you wear the mask.

“Hello, y/n.”

“Oh, hello, Karen. I didn’t know you still remembered me.”

“I will always remember you, y/n. Peter thinks very highly of you.”

“He does?” you gasped.

“Yes. He would constantly talk about you, asking me if you’re okay. I would watch him talking to himself in the mirror, practicing how to ask you out. He likes you very much, y/n. And based on your facial reaction and heatwave, I can tell you like him, too.”

“Y/n!”

You unmasked yourself and see Peter with a red face. “I can explain,” you both said at the same time. “I like you!” Again, in unison.

Peter rushed towards you to give you a kiss. “I know Karen said I’ve been practicing,” he said against your lips, “please don’t watch those. Those are really embarrassing.”

“Your nose is still broken,” is all you can say, murmuring.

“I’ll go later,” he said.

You giggle. “There are cameras, we’ll get cau–”

“What is going on here?” Tony’s voice boomed.

“Oops,” you both say, a goofy smile on your faces.

#peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker imagine #peter parker imagines #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #misc: cherish writes

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living-dead-parker · 5 years ago

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Familiarity - P.P

Summary: The Vulture is back and now that Tony is gone, you have to deal with Peter. Why does this hurt more than when Tony did it?

Warnings: cussing I think, scene parallels to Homecoming, not a fix-it, angst with a fluffy ending i think

Word Count: 1.6k

A/N: This was heavily inspired by my rewatching Hoco, esp the scene from this gif. Also, this is post Endgame and FFH and it is not a fix-it. Gif is not mine.

The moment Peter saw you approach the scene in the Rescue suit, he knew he was screwed. As soon as you got him alone, it was all over. It's not like he meant to make you personally come out to save his ass. He just wanted you to acknowledge him a little. Unfortunately, he took this a bit far.

"Hi Spider-Man," you say in a condescending tone, one that felt all too familiar. It was like he was back at the ferry all those years ago, getting scolded by Tony. Except it's not Tony. What he would give for Tony to be back, to be the one scolding him. But alas, it's not. "This doesn't look like Queens to me."

It was not Queens. Not even close. Los Angeles, California.

What drew him out here? Well, you were part of it. He followed you like a lost puppy, wanting to get the time of your day for once. Ever since he came back, you haven't really paid him much attention. The last time you two really got to hang out was when you were breaking up with the poor kid. So, he did anything to see you. Acting out in little ways just to be in your presence. It was pathetic, but it got him at least five minutes alone with you.

This, though, was crossing a line and Peter knew it. He hates knowing that he went too far. But sometimes the line is meant to be crossed, right? However, as he looks at all the damage you're cleaning up, he realizes, this is not straddling, nor a gentle stride past the line. No, he buried that line in his dust, passing it for miles and miles and he's still going.

The other reason he came was because the Vulture managed to escape prison some time ago and upon finding out that Tony was gone and you were in charge, well he couldn't allow that. He was going to get some revenge on a Stark, so, why not go for the new head honcho of SI? You've been on his radar for a month now. As soon as he escaped, he hit the ground running. Coming up with plans on taking you down.

Peter had been tipped off by Liz Allen herself. Sure, it was an almost bitter reunion and it was weird and awkward, but the two got closure and things seemed to go back to a decent place. Liz Allen no longer held any anger nor resentment towards Peter and Peter no longer held any guilt. So, Peter warned you. Time and time again, he warned you about Adrian Toomes. He warned you about the weapons he managed to scour and sell in the meantime. He told you about his plan and told you about how dangerous it is for you.

You gave him the same response every time.

"I got this handled," you'd say nonchalantly. Every single time. "He'll be back in prison in no time."

That never subsided any of Peter's anxiety. He always felt like that same phrase was always directed more towards you than himself. As if convincing yourself more than Peter. But maybe it was just the anxiety.

So now he stands in Venice Beach. It had cleared out within seconds of seeing two figures free falling at nearly impossible rates. Some people didn't make it out in time, getting blasted by the large gust of wind following the Vulture's wings. Much like the last time that Peter tussled it out with Adrian, his wings malfunctioned, exploding again. Others didn't make it out in time for that, getting caught in the crossfires.

So now you stand in front of Peter as he looks down at his booted feet, sand engulfing them. Adrian lies on the ground, unconscious a few feet away from the pair. You glare at the sight, just knowing you're gonna be clearing this up for months.

"I told you to butt out," you tell him. The stoicism in your voice alarming Peter. It's quiet, firm, and harsh. Deep, almost. "And what do you do? The exact opposite."

"He was coming to attack you at your headquarters-"

"You don't think I know that?!"

Peter looks at you with wide eyes. This moment, he couldn't. He just couldn't, and he knows he shouldn't, but there's no holding back. He feels small. Vulnerable, almost. It all feels too familiar. That's what makes it worse. The familiarity.

"He was going to attack you and I tried warning you-"

"I knew what he was going Peter, why do you think I called in SHIELD-"

"But you never listen to me! I could have handled it-"

"You got yourself and others hurt-"

"If you had listened to me-"

The bitter taste of the agony on his tongue, mixing with the familiarity. It was heartbreaking.

"No! This is where you stay quiet and listen, the grown-up here is talking!"

Before you know it, a sob escapes Peter's lips. A loud, painful, heartwrenching sob. One that sends him falling to the ground from its earth-shattering pain. The scene replaying from the ferry. How Peter would kill for it to have been Tony again and not you. Maybe it hurts more because it's you saying this to him. You'd always been on his side in every argument. Especially in that one. You'd been on his side then. Now? Where had you gone?

Your eyes widen as you look at Peter, slowly stepping close to his crying form and resting your hand on his back. Then, you kneel next to him, pulling him into your arms.

"Something tells me this is more than the Vulture," you state softly in his ear. All harshness in your voice gone. "Peter, I don't know what's going on with you lately. I'm concerned."

Peter looks up, his eyes red and puffy, but they're fixed in a glare.

"You're concerned?" he asks, his tone very upset. "I tried warning you about this and I've tried protecting you and I've tried moving on with my life and you're the one concerned? Y/N I thought that if I didn't come here and stop him, you'd be dead! You yelling at me, coming out of that Rescue suit, scolding my ass was too much like Tony at the ferry and I can't handle that. But I really thought he'd kill you!"

"I knew what I was doing Peter. I was at the private mansion alone, I knew what he was going to do, Peter. I was fine. But you could have gotten yourself killed Peter," you tell him, feeling the tears you'd been holding in finally coming out. "You got other people hurt, that's not gonna look good on Spider-Man nor on you, Peter. But if you got killed, I don't know what I would do, Peter. I thought I lost you once, and-and I lost dad, and you're all I have Peter. I can't lose you again-"

"Then why did you push me away?"

You're silent, Peter knows the answer. You know the answer. But you both know that it was bullshit. Technically, there were no rules being broken, and now that it's been a year and a half, it's fine everywhere for you to be together. He wants the truth.

"I shouldn't have," you admit, helping Peter stand up as you stand up yourself. "It was all too much, and the difference. I knew I couldn't hold you back. I lived for five years without you and I had to move on because I didn't know we'd bring you back. I felt that it wouldn't be fair to you to force you to go back to how things were because nothing was the same. Losing my dad was hard enough. Inheriting the company and being in charge of the Avengers is hard work, Peter. I knew I wouldn't be there for you how you needed me to be. Hell, I haven't had time for myself, Peter. But I shouldn't have pushed you away, Peter. I shouldn't have treated you like a kid, especially because you're not a kid anymore.

"I was wrong, and I'm sorry Peter. But also, for the life of God, please trust me next time! When I say I got it handled, I really do. I know what we're working with," you tell him, pulling him into a hug. His arms wrap tightly around you, holding you so close to him.

"I just want to be with you," he says softly. "I know we were young when we said it would be us forever," he continues, pulling away enough to look you in the eyes. "But that time we spent apart, all I could think about is you and even now, you feel like home to me. Especially now, of all times."

Suddenly helicopters and police sirens can be heard everywhere. Your eyes widen. Immediately, you step out of the rescue suit, pushing Peter in its direction. "Look, you gotta get out of here in the suit," you tell him urgently. "This won't be a good look on you or Spider-Man at all so you gotta get out of here. It'll take you to the beach house, stay there and don't let anyone in at all. Just wait in my room there, we'll talk later."

Peter nods, looking absolutely terrified. Fuck Mysterio for doing this to Peter, making him live in fear. "Stay safe," he says softly, making a quick move to press his lips to yours for the briefest of seconds. "I'll see you later."

You smile at him, sending him on his way back to the beach house so you can deal with the mess. Especially the annoying press.

"Ms. Stark!"

"Mr. Jameson."

Send in feedback, requests, or asks! Come talk to me!!

#peter parker #spiderman #peter parker x reader #peter parker x stark!reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker imagine #peter parker angst #stark!reader #ffh #spider-man #spiderman x reader #tony stark #angst #eventual fluff #reader insert #tom holland #tom holland x reader

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greatpretending · 7 years ago

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This City Never Sleeps (When We’re Dancing)

Word Count: 5043

Pairing: Eventual Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood and light cursing.

Summary: Part Four of This City Never Sleeps. Just as you’re coming to terms with your feelings for Peter, everything falls apart.

Tags: @seargantbcky @darlin-you-bitch @emily-ily2 @rosep16 @comics-and-stuff @t4rt-deco @octopishisahybridanimal @slythergirlimagines @philipshaaayyyy @catwoman2502@minimalistxx @sophiatomlinson23@johnsonxstilinski @raindancer2004 @vanessly@newyorkrebel @letstrysomefanfic @half-superhero @mermaid-princess-wannabe @mmmaff @spideysensesparker @ttholland

“Did you take Peter’s suit away?!”

You stormed into the workshop, where Tony was working on something or another. He had been spending a lot more time at the penthouse during the limbo between moving the Avengers from the Tower to the new facility upstate.

“Yes, I did.” Tony said plainly, not looking up from his work.

“How could you do that?” you asked angrily. “Peter loves being Spider-Man more than anything! He’s found his calling- you can’t just take that away from him!”

“I can, and I did.” Tony replied, finally meeting your eyes.

“That’s not fair!” you shouted. “Peter doesn’t deserve--”

“People almost died today,” Tony cut you off. You could tell he was starting to lose his patience. “Peter almost died today. He’s been throwing himself recklessly into danger, and I can’t have that on my conscience.”

You put your hands on your hips and took a deep breath. Getting in a fight with Tony wasn’t going to help the situation. You needed to be the supportive link between him and Peter. And honestly, you could see where Tony was coming from. After Rhodey getting injured and all the fighting between the Avengers, he was just trying to protect someone else he cared about. Too many people had already been hurt.

“Look,” Tony said. “I know you kids like to think you can save the world, but the adults can’t do it either, so we have to keep you guys safe for as long as we can.”

That put some tension in the air for a moment. The words were heavy, but they were absolutely true. You sighed.

“I’m going to go make sure he’s okay,” you said. “He hasn’t texted me back all afternoon. I had to find out what happened from Ned.”

“Good, go be his friend,” Tony said, turning back to his work. “Kids need friends, not overbearing responsibility.”

A short while later you were standing outside Peter’s bedroom door, arms full of comfort foods and DVDs. You knocked and waited patiently as you heard Peter get up from his bed and pad over to the door. It swung open, and Peter didn’t even look surprised to see you. He just looked so… sad. You could tell he had been crying, his eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. His hair was a mess.

It broke your heart.

Peter didn’t say anything to you, he just left the door open and went back to his bed. Before he closed the window, you could see he had been watching videos of Spider-Man on youtube. You stepped into the room and closed the door behind yourself gently.

“So,” you began. “We can either talk about it and eat all this junk food I brought, or we can watch Back to the Future, eat the junk food, and not talk about it.”

“Movie,” he mumbled, popping open his disk drive. You took over the laptop and set up the movie, turning off the lights before settling onto the bed with Peter, opening a bag of chips for the two of you to share.

You spent the next hour paying more attention to Peter than the movie. You tried to gauge his mood and read his thoughts with every move he made. You longed to reach out and hold his hand, or even just touch his arm- something to comfort him and let him know you were there to support him. But you didn’t, because the last thing you wanted to do was cross a line and make him more upset than he already was.

“I was just trying to help,” Peter said quietly. You turned to look at him, he was still looking at the screen. “Y’know, I thought… I thought no one was listening to me. I thought no one else was going to stop them, I… I was afraid…”

Screw it, you thought. You reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly. He squeezed back.

“I just wanted to help.”

In the following weeks you kept a close eye on Peter, and you watched him grow a little happier every day. You watched as he started doing better in his classes, he started building computers again, and you even saw him reading a book for pleasure- something you hadn’t witnessed in months.

You were glad to see the dark circles under his eyes fade as he started getting more sleep. You were really beginning to see the old Peter in him again- the pre-stress, pre-Spider-Man Peter who was relaxed and loved making puns and who was on a personal quest to find the best alfredo pizza in Queens. You started to think that maybe it was a good thing that Tony took his suit away.

This- this was the Peter you knew you definitely had a crush on. The sweet, caring boy who was passionate about his hobbies, who loved his aunt more than anything in the world, and who never failed to make you laugh. As the days passed you started to gather your courage. Homecoming was that weekend, and you wanted to dance with Peter at least once. You tried to not spend sleepless nights and boring classes imagining his hand on your waist and his face so, so close to yours, but you were weak, so that’s what took up most of your thoughts. A couple times you’d been called out in class for not paying attention, but you managed to make it through Friday without any serious incident.

And then disaster struck.

You were standing outside the school gates talking to Ned before he got on the bus when Peter sprinted up to you.

“IjustaskedLiztoHomecomingandshesaidyesIgottagobye!” Peter shouted, before taking off again. You said nothing as you watched him run.

“Did he just say that he asked Liz to Homecoming and she said yes?” Ned asked.

“Yep,” you said, feeling the crack in your heart grow longer by the second.

“Oh no,” Ned said. He started to say something else, but just then his bus pulled up to the curb. “I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll text you!” Ned said as he climbed onto the bus.

You looked back to the last place you had seen Peter, before he turned the corner. Of course he still liked Liz. He’d shown no indication of liking you back. And why wouldn’t he like Liz? She was tall and pretty and smart and you were--

“She’s not better than you, you know,” a voice said behind you, making you jump. You spun around and Michelle was there, wearing an unreadable expression.

“How do you always do that?” you asked, a little annoyed.

“Liz isn’t better than you,” Michelle repeated, ignoring your question. You laughed.

“Well, it’s kind of a confidence killer when all they do is talk about how pretty and smart she is,” you said. Michelle looked at you quizzically.

“You know you’re pretty too, right?” Michelle asks. “Unfairly so. And? You’re also incredibly smart. It won’t be long before you’re the ‘new Liz Allan’ of the school, just like how Liz is the ‘new Maddy Crochet.’ High Schoolers cycle through the same roles over and over.” Michelle began walking away, but turned around, pointedly looking down at your watch and then back at your face. You tugged your sleeve over your wrist. “You know it can be sooner rather than later.”

You shook your head before heading to your car, hands shoved in the pockets of your hoodie. Cool, so Michelle knew everything all the time, apparently. You were starting to think she was less observant and just had the ability to read minds. With everything you’d seen it would hardly surprise you.

It wasn’t until you were in the car and halfway home that you got a text from Ned.

dude im so sorry

It’s fine.

no its not i kno u really like him

It’s fine, Ned, I just… won’t go to Homecoming.

what??? u cant skip hoco!!

I don’t want to see them together I just… I’ll think about it.

ok let me know if you want to talk

When you got home you went immediately to the workshop. Tony was already in there, music playing loudly as he reworked the wiring on one of his suit’s hands. You dropped your backpack on the ground and sat down at your bench, setting to work on your heart regulator. This project had been your baby for years, and nothing made you feel better like making progress on it.

“How was school?” Tony asked you.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” you replied, opening a drawer and pulling out a pair of pliers.

“Pizza for dinner?” Tony asked. Tony never pried. He knew you would talk to him when you were ready.

“Yes please.”

Pepper found you in the same spot the next afternoon.

You were getting into the finer details of your creation, trying to set the electrical pulses just so, and you weren’t having much luck. Either it was emitting a wave so small you could barely feel it buzzing on your hand, or so strong that it was jumping to every bit of metal it could reach. You just couldn’t find that happy medium, and you were growing more frustrated by the second.

You reset the transducer again and flipped the switch. Lightning jumped out of the machine, sending sparks flying in all directions before it overwhelmed itself and shut down completely.

“Damnit!” you shouted, slamming a fist onto the table. Why couldn’t just one thing go right? You put your face in your hands and did your best to hold back tears. You always hated that you were a frustrated crier. You started cleaning up your bench, opening and closing drawers a little too hard.

“What is going on with you?” Pepper asked from the doorway, and you startled, not having heard her come in. “I’ve never seen you like this.”

“Stupid transducer isn’t working,” you grumbled, closing your notebook and stuffing it back in your backpack. Pepper rolled a chair over and sat down next to you.

“Okay. What’s the real problem?” she asked patiently, and suddenly you found yourself telling her everything. It was like a dam had broken open and the words were just spilling out of your mouth. You told her how worried you had been about Peter and how much you had grown to like him over the past few weeks. You told her about Liz and how you wanted to hate her but you couldn’t because she was too freaking nice. You told her about Michelle and how she knew your secret and how much that scared you. You told her you were tired of having so many secrets.

“Clearly, you have to go to the dance,” Pepper said, when you were finally done. You laughed, not looking up from your feet. “I’m serious,” Pepper insisted. “Go have a good time with your friends, and don’t let one boy ruin it for you. Go for you, you’ll have more fun there than you will sitting in this grease-trap,” she said, and then quieter and with a wink, “Showing Peter what he’s missing will just be a little added bonus.”

“Even if I were to go, the dance starts at seven and it’s…” you looked down at your watch and laughed again. “Five fifty-two. There’s no way I’d make it in time.”

“So be fashionably late,” you and Pepper both snapped your heads up at the sound of Tony’s voice. He was leaning casually in the doorway, and you had no doubt he’d heard everything. “Take one of my cars. Really make an entrance. Hell, we’ll drive you on our way to the airport.

“You’re a Stark,” Tony said. “And when Starks get knocked down, we get back back up, stronger, wiser, and better than ever, and we work the problem until it’s solved. You can’t solve your problems out there by holing yourself up in here.”

You looked back and forth between the two of them, each returning your gaze expectantly, before you finally stood up.

“Okay,” you said. “I’ll go.”

Pepper clapped her hands together in delight and immediately started ushering you down the hall, Tony trailing behind. She sat you down at the vanity in your room and set to work on smoothing your hair, twisting it and pinning it into a loose, wavy updo while Tony went to retrieve a car from the parking garage under the building.

“What were you planning on wearing?” Pepper asked you as she started on your makeup. She left it mostly natural, enough to accentuate your features but not dramatic enough to change them.

“I… wasn’t. I was going to decide last night, I know I have plenty of options in my closet,” you replied, starting to panic. You didn’t have time to try everything on.

“On it!” Tony called, zipping back through your bedroom door and into your walk-in. He started pulling dresses out, holding them up for you and Pepper to appraise.

“Too formal.”

“No one can pull off that color. I don’t know why I bought it.”

“That’s a sundress.”

“That’s a Halloween costume.”

“Wait!” Pepper exclaimed. She stood up straight, lip pencil in hand. “Grab the white one that she wore to the Tonys this year.” Pepper turned back to you. “That one makes you look like an angel.”

Tony disappeared back into the closet to find the dress, and reappeared just as Pepper was swiping the final coat of gloss over your lips. “Is this it?” he asked.

“That’s the one!” Pepper exclaimed. She took the dress from him and shooed him out of the room.

Pepper helped you into the dress, zipping up the back for you and finding your shoes for you while you changed the strap on your watch to your “fancy event” band. You slipped on the shoes, hooking a few sparkling earrings into your lobes before standing in front of your full-length mirror. Pepper opened the door again and let Tony back inside.

“Wow,” he said. “Pepper was right, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you said, trying to not feel too embarrassed. You looked down at your watch. 7:12. With good traffic you could make it to the school in twenty minutes.

“You’re right,” Tony said, noticing where your attention was. “We’re late. Cars ready, let’s go!”

The three of you hurried to the elevator, and you felt more and more nervous with each floor you passed. When you finally made your way through the lobby and out of the building you were shocked by the car parked in front of you.

“We’re taking the Maserati?” you squeaked. The red and gold car was the flashiest thing Tony kept in New York City.

“I did say we were going to make an entrance, didn’t I?” Tony replied with a smile, opening the door for you. You carefully sat inside- for your sake and the car’s- and gathered your dress inside so Tony wouldn’t close it in the door. Pepper turned around in her seat to look at you.

“Everything is going to be fine,” she said with a smile. “You’re going to have a lot of fun, I promise.”

You tried to smile back, but you weren’t sure how convincing it was. Tony got in the driver’s seat and you were off, headed towards Midtown and there was no turning back. What if this was all a mistake? What if you got picked on more after this? How would Flash treat you when he found out he wasn’t the richest kid in the school anymore? What if you had to watch Liz and Peter dance together? What if you saw them kiss?

You pushed the thought out of your head, and decided to try to distract yourself by pulling out your phone and sending a text to Ned.

Obviously going to be late, but I’m on my way.

yay!! peter and liz arent even here yet oh wait liz just walked in

You didn’t reply. You didn’t need any more details to overthink. Instead you opened Snapchat and took a selfie, adding a little “Homecoming ♡” caption and putting it on your story. You scrolled through Instagram for the rest of the ride, making light conversation with Tony and Pepper about their trip upstate while you looked at picture after picture of your classmates getting ready for the dance.

You managed to subdue your nerves for a while, but as Tony pulled the car up in front of the school they came back full force. Your stomach twisted inside you and your heart pounded in your ears as you looked out the window and saw every student standing outside or close enough to the windows to see the Maserati staring at you. They just didn’t know it was you yet. Pepper turned around to look at you again.

“Knock ‘em dead,” she said. “And call me in the morning.”

“I will,” you said, leaning forward and kissing her on the cheek. “Thank you.”

Tony got out of the car and opened your door for you. You heard the instant murmur of recognition from your classmates, but you forced yourself to ignore it as Tony helped you out of the car and onto the sidewalk.

“Work the problem until it’s fixed,” he said quietly, kissing you on the cheek as well. He got back in the car and rolled down the window. “Have a nice night, sweetie!” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear. He didn’t usually call you by pet names like that, but you knew exactly what game he was playing.

“Thanks Uncle Tony!” you called as he drove off. Then you turned and faced the school. All eyes were on you, but you didn’t make eye contact with anyone. You were afraid you’d lose your small burst of courage if you did. Instead, you focused solely on the door handles, not looking away from them as you walked up the steps. Everyone grew quiet again as you walked past those standing outside, the only things you heard were the traffic behind you and the muffled thumping of the bass coming from the speakers in the gym.

You reached the door at last and pulled it open, music, laughter, and conversation bursting from inside. You walked into the gym, painfully aware of how many eyes were on you, and how quickly the news was spreading that you’d just been dropped off by Tony Stark.

You frantically searched the crowd for a friendly face, and your eyes fell on Michelle, standing by herself near the edge of the dance floor. You made your way over to her, more than happy to be in the company of someone non-judgemental.

“Well, well, well,” she said with a smile when she saw you. “I’m almost Starked- sorry, shocked that you showed up.” You rolled your eyes at her lame joke.

“Pepper can be pretty convincing,” you said, smiling back. It felt good to be able to talk about your life without worrying about keeping your secret. “I love your dress.” Leave it to Michelle to wear something completely surprising, yet not surprising at all.

“Me?” Michelle laughed. “You look like you just stepped off a red carpet!”

“Well, y’know…” you said, averting your eyes. Then something caught your attention.

Liz was standing on the dance floor with a couple of friends, visibly upset. You looked around, but Peter was nowhere to be found.

“What’s up with Liz?” you asked Michelle. “Where’s Peter?”

“Beats me,” Michelle replied with a shrug. “We saw him for like, half a second and then he went running off. Ned disappeared a few minutes later. It was weird.”

“Yeah…that’s weird,” you said, growing worried. “Hey, I’m going to run to the bathroom, okay?” You didn’t wait for a response as you hurried out of the gym.

“Bathroom’s that way!” you heard Michelle call behind you, but you didn’t stop.

You pushed the door open and stepped into the dark hallway, but before you could call Ned and ask him what the hell was going on, you saw him being led in the direction of the principal’s office.

“Ned, wha-”

“The vulture has landed,” Ned cut you off, eyes wide and frantic. “The vulture has landed!”

Catching his meaning, you immediately pulled out your phone, dialing Tony’s number and pushing your way through the crowd of students back to the front door. It went straight to voicemail. Shit. You dialed Pepper’s number, but it also went to voicemail. They must be going through security at the airport. You dialed Happy’s number, and crossed your fingers as it rang, but he didn’t pick up.

“Damnit!” you said, pushing your way out the front door.

You were met with gasps and exclamations, and you looked up to see a giant fireball streaking its way across the sky.

“Oh my god, PURDUE get my suit here as fast as you can!” you said.

“Two minutes until suit arrival,” PURDUE told you.

You watched with everyone else as the flames ripped through the night sky. Somehow, you knew Peter was on that plane. You tried Happy’s phone again, but he still didn’t pick up. Soon, you saw your suit headed toward you, and you hurried down the steps to meet it. It landed on the sidewalk and opened itself up. You kicked off your shoes and gathered your skirt awkwardly around your hips, stepping into the suit. You didn’t have time to worry about comfort.

Students rushed out of the building to watch as you turned toward the falling plane, which was only seconds from hitting the ground.

“A grand entrance and a grand exit,” you muttered before taking off. It was a little shaky, but you quickly grew more comfortable with the controls. Being in the suit was like riding a bike, it became second nature.

You flew as quickly as you could toward the now-crashed plane, praying that Peter was safe. Coney Island was twenty miles away, and you had to take into account that your body was not used to the extreme G-forces like Tony’s was. You wouldn’t be of any help to Peter if you showed up and immediately started vomiting everywhere.

You were almost to the crash site when an explosion went off, and your heart leapt into your throat. To hell with G-forces, you flew as fast as the suit would let you.

When you finally reached Coney Island, Peter and the Vulture were lying side-by-side, both breathing heavily. Peter had blood and dirt all over his face and you did your best to not panic, landing beside him and retracting the helmet on your suit.

“Hey, hey,” you said, kneeling down beside Peter. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Peter started to sit up, and so did the Vulture. You detatched one of your gloves and it pushed him back onto the ground, holding him there. He raised his hands in defeat.

“I’m okay,” Peter said, but he wouldn’t make eye contact with you.

You helped Peter lean the Vulture up against some debris and watched Peter web him up as you called Happy’s phone again, finally getting ahold of him. You saw Peter smile a little as he patted his pocket, then he pulled out a piece of paper and a marker. Peter wrote a note on the page and webbed it up next to the Vulture’s head.

“Let’s go,” he said, still not really looking at you. You flew him up to the top of the Cyclone and watched as he rubbed his wrist in discomfort.

“May I?” you asked, holding out your hand. He gave you his arm, and you checked it over for any sign of broken bones. “I don’t think you broke it, maybe a fracture, but with your rapid healing you should be fine in about… half an hour,” you concluded.

“Thanks,” Peter said, not taking his eyes from the wrecked plane.

“Do you… want to go to my place? Or do you want me to take you home?” you asked, trying to get him to open up a little.

“I kind of just want to be alone for a while, if that’s okay,” Peter said quietly. “You can go, I just… I want to wait here until someone shows up to take that guy away.”

“Okay,” you said, understanding. “Will you just text me when you get home to let me know you’re safe?”

“Yeah,” he said.

You stood up, unable to read Peter’s expression as you took one last look at his face. You wished you could do more to help him.

As you flew back toward Queens, you took your time. You thought about Peter, worried about him the whole time. You worried about how Tony would react to Peter disobeying him again. Personally, you thought Tony should be grateful, but your uncle could be a bit of a wild card sometimes. There was just no way of knowing how he’d feel about something until he told you. You worried about Peter falling back into his depression, having gotten another taste of the superhero life. You worried about Peter dealing with possible PTSD after falling through the sky on a flaming airplane.

Without consciously making the decision to go there, you found yourself on the roof of Peter’s apartment building. You knew you should probably go home, but you also knew that you wouldn’t be able to relax until you saw Peter again anyway.

As quietly as you could, you flew down to Peter’s bedroom window, sliding it open and slipping inside. You stepped out of the suit, which folded itself up neatly into a little cube. Your skirt fell back to your feet, and you closed the bedroom window.

You sat down on the edge of Peter’s bed and waited. You didn’t dare pick up your phone, because you knew all of your social media would be flooded. Instead, you entertained yourself by flipping through one of Peter’s Star Wars comic books. It wasn’t a perfect distraction, but it helped you pass the time nonetheless.

It was probably about forty-five minutes later that you heard Peter’s window open again, and you set the book down next to you. Peter crawled across his ceiling and dropped down onto the floor. When he turned around, he jumped a little at the sight of you.

“You and Ned have got to stop doing that,” he said, heading for his dresser. His face was still caked in dirt, blood, and sweat, and you thought you could see the residue of a few tears streaking through the mess down his cheeks.

“Sorry,” you said quietly.

“It’s kind of good that you’re here, though. Because I wouldn’t have been able to text you. Lost my phone tonight,” Peter said with a laugh that let you know he didn’t think it was funny at all as he rummaged through his drawers, pulling out clothes. “May is going to kill me.”

“I’ll replace your phone,” you assured him.

“You don’t have-”

“I want to,” you insisted. Peter looked down at the clothes in his hand for a moment before turning to you.

“I really, really want to shower,” he said. “And then we can talk, okay?”

“Okay,” you said. “Is May…?”

“No, she went to her friend Juli’s tonight, and they always go a bit too hard on the wine, so she won’t be home ‘til late,” Peter explained. “I’ll be right back.”

With that, Peter hurried out of the room, so you picked up the comic book again. Just under twenty minutes later you heard Peter’s footsteps heading back toward the bedroom.

“Hey,” he said, stepping back into the room and shutting the door behind himself. He was all clean. Bruised, but clean. His wet hair fell over his forehead and he was wearing a very soft-looking sweatshirt that made you want to hug him. He tossed his bloodied, homemade suit into his hamper. “So… Happy showed up and took care of Liz’s dad,” Peter said, folding his arms over his chest.

“Wait, that was Liz’s dad?” you asked incredulously.

“Yeah, that’s how I knew where he was going to be,” Peter explained. “I feel like a huge dick for ruining her Homecoming,” he said. “And yours.”

“What? Peter, you didn’t ruin anything. I almost didn’t even go, so--”

“Why weren’t you going to go?” Peter asked you, surprised. You scrambled for a second to find an answer.

“It’s not important,” you finally said, looking away from him.

“Well, for what it’s worth,” Peter said softly, “I am sorry.” You weren’t quite sure what he was apologizing for, but that wasn’t important either.

“There is one thing you can do to make it up to me,” you told him, pressing a few buttons on your watch.

“What’s that?” Peter asked, and you stood up, heart pounding in your chest as you held your hand out to him. Soft music began playing from your cube of a suit.

“Dance with me?” you asked, and Peter smiled.

He took your outstretched hand in his and put his other on your waist. You leaned into him, standing so close you were practically resting your head on his shoulder. His sweatshirt was just as soft as it looked, and this close you could smell his shampoo from his still-wet hair. You swayed together, barely moving your feet, and as the minutes passed you both relaxed more and more.

“I meant to tell you before,” Peter whispered. “You do look amazing tonight. Like- like an angel.” You could practically hear the blush that matched yours in his voice that, and you smiled into his shoulder, mumbling your thanks. You knew your hair probably looked like a mess after being shoved in that helmet, and you weren’t even wearing shoes, but it was sweet of him to say that anyway.

Maybe tomorrow he’d be officially dating Liz Allan, but for now, he was here with you. Maybe he’d never get to be Spider-Man again, but for now, he was just Peter, and Peter made you happier than Spider-Man ever could.

Maybe one day you would tell Peter how you feel, but for now, this was enough.

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