#i have never felt so many emotions and thoughts towards a book until today

[scruffyf0x]

man what the fuck was this

[mountttmase]

You Know I’ll Always Be Here

Note - just a cute little fic cause I love my man 🥺 nothing United related just in case you need a break but thank you to the anon who requested it. I really hope you like it and I’d love some feedback 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 2.4K

Warnings - fluff

Your heart sunk as the final whistle blew, England had lost and were not advancing to the finals. This was supposed to be their year and now it was all over.

Your eyes were trained on Mason as he made his way around the pitch to hug everyone, putting a a brave face and making sure the rest of his team were okay before he fell to his knees, chest against the grass and he buried his head in his arms.

Your heart broke for him, having never seen him look so defeated before. Usually he was good at keeping his emotions in check until the pair of you were alone but he obviously couldn’t do it today and all you wanted to was run to him and comfort the boy you loved in anyway you could.

Mason also says felt like he’d never done enough after games like today, but right now you didn’t think he could of given anymore. After a goal and an assist in extra time it still wasn’t enough to send the three lions through and everything he’d worked for was now in tattered pieces around him.

‘Y/n, you coming?’ Lauren asked holding her hand out to you and you took it quickly, following behind her and baby Jude down the stairs towards the pitch.

‘Wait, where are we going?’ You asked as you followed her down to the sidelines but you could see what was happening before she spoke, watching the as the players family members filtered onto the pitch to pull their loved ones into a comforting embrace to try and soothe their pain.

Your eyes caught Debbie’s as you made it to the bottom of the stairs and you made your way over to her and Tony, pulling them both into a hug and you could sense their disappointment from their faces. Normally you would sit with them but Lauren had asked if you could sit with her today to help look after baby Jude and you couldn’t pass up the opportunity of spending time with your favourite little boy.

‘Shall we go over then?’ You asked them both and you felt Tony place his hand on your shoulder whilst giving you a knowing look.

‘You go, love. I don’t think he’ll want to be crowded and he probably just wants you right now. We can speak to him after’ he reassured you as Debbie squeezed your hand.

‘Give him a kiss from us’ she laughed and you gave them both a quick hug, thanking them for trusting you with their little boy’s happiness like they seemed to be doing. You knew it must of been hard for them but they also knew what was best for their son and what he probably wanted right now, your heart hammering at the thought of being Masons trusted person.

‘Are you sure?’ You breathed but they reassured you it was fine, and you trusted that they knew what Mason needed more than he did so with one last hug you made your way back to Lauren so you could find your boys together.

Just as you’d predicted, Mason and Dec were close to each other. Dec patting Mason on the back as he lay on the floor still and your heart broke as you saw him still down and so defeated. Sure games hadn’t gone his way in the past and you’d comforted him when he was upset but this seemed different and you had to pull yourself together before making your way over to be whatever he needed.

‘I’ll go get Dec’ you told Lauren, making your way over to the pair of them and Decs head shot up as he felt your presence. You could tell he was sad as he stood up, having known him for a while you could read him like a book just like Mason as they shared so many of the same mannerisms and you pulled him into a quick hug as you patted him on the back.

‘I’m so sorry, Dec. You played really well’ you told him and he looked down at you with an appreciative smile, eyes a little glossy and he finally started to let his walls down.

‘Thanks, y/n’ he laughed, ruffling your hair slightly before nodding over to your crestfallen boyfriend. ‘I’ve tried talking to him but he’s not moving’

‘It’s fine, I’ll sort him out. Thanks for looking out for him Dec’ you smiled as you looked down it him, Lauren coming over to join the pair of you as he wrapped his arm around her a stroked Jude’s head softly.

‘Come on Dec, your parents are waiting’ she told him softly and after a final group hug, you looked down to Mason who was still in the same place. You had no idea what to do, his head still buried in his arms as he laid completely still but the uneven rise and fall of his chest made your heart hurt even more than it was as you figured he must be crying a little bit. In the end you could only come to one conclusion and got down on the floor next to him, laying so your head was near his so you could eventually talk to him and run your fingers through his hair. It didn’t take long for him to peak up at you and your heart broke at the sight of his red glassy eyes.

‘What are you doing?’ He asked and you sent him a small smile to let him know everything was okay.

‘I could ask you the same thing, Mase’

‘You’re gonna get wet’ he told you, moving his arm slightly so he could see you better and your heart thudded as you took him in. The bridge of his nose was red from running about and he looked absolutely shattered. All you wanted was to bundle him up and protect him but it was a bit difficult right now. But the sadness radiating from him hit you like a train and you were ready to be whatever he needed.

‘It’s okay, I don’t mind’ you smiled, hoping to let him know everything was okay and you watched as he let down what little walls he had left up. His bottom lip wobbling ever so slightly as the first few tears escaped his eyes but he made no attempts to wipe them.

‘I don’t think I can get up’ he croaked and you felt sick at how upset he was. You knew if this game came to a loss then it would hurt but you could of never of prepared yourself for this.

‘It’s fine. You don’t have to, I can wait with you’ you told him softly, scratching over his head in the way you knew he loved and he shut his eyes as his whole body relaxed at your touch.

‘I really thought we could do it’ you heard him say softly as his eyes landed on yours. ‘I really thought this was our year’

‘I know, baby. You did so well and I know you don’t wanna hear it but I really am so proud of you’

‘I know’ he sighed, offering you a gentle smile and your whole chest warmed at the sight of him perking up a bit because of you. ‘Thank you, love’

‘Anytime. You know I’ll always be here’ you told him as he shut his eyes so he could focus on the feeling of your fingers. You were both quiet for a little while, Mason focusing on the feel of you fingers in his hair whilst the noise of everything around you died down.

‘Are there’s still lots of people about?’ He asked suddenly and you had a quick look up to see the place emptying out.

‘Most of the crowd has gone’ you told him, ‘just a few of your team are hanging about and some of the press. Don’t rush yourself though. We can go in when you’re ready, yeah?’

‘I love you’ he whispered, shuffling closer to you so he could kiss you gently. His hand coming around your waist so he could squeeze it as you cupped his jaw, running your thumb over his cheek gently. ‘Thank you for not telling me off and laying here with me’

‘Why would I tell you off’ you laughed before he kissed you once again.

‘Cause I’m acting like a big baby’

‘No you’re not. You’re upset Mase, and if this is how you wanna cope with it then I’ll always be by your side. Whether that be standing, sitting or laying down on wet grass. I’m here for you’

‘I love you so much’ he laughed kissing you again gently as he pulled you even further to him.

‘I love you too’ you smiled and you watched him take a big breath before shuffling back.

‘I’m ready to get up now I think’

‘Yeah? You sure?’

‘I’m sure’ he smiled, and you untangled yourself from each other before he helped you up, kissing your cheek just before you kissed his temple. ‘You always kiss me there’ he laughed as he linked your fingers together, walking the width of the pitch and over to the sidelines.

‘I know’ you laughed ‘you have a little mole there and it’s my favourite so I like to kiss it’ you told him, a slight embarrassed tone to your voice as you felt your face heat up at the confession. You’d never mentioned it before but you thought you give him a little something to smile about and by the look on his face it was definitely working.

‘Oh yeah? Do you know I have a favourite one of yours?’ He asked and you shook your head as you peered up at him. ‘Well I do. It’s on your upper left thigh, like just under your bum’ he laughed as you pushed your shoulder into him out of embarrassment.

‘Why?’ You laughed, hiding your face as he brought his arm around your shoulder.

‘Cause only I can see it’ he whispered into you ear ‘maybe later I can kiss it for you, yeah?’ He laughed and you rolled you eyes at him just before you reached his parents who pulled the pair of you into a hug.

Mason was quiet for the rest of the evening until you got home and he kept his promise of kissing his favourite mole of yours amongst other things. You thought he might not of been in the mood for anything once you got back but it seemed as if he just wanted it be in the comfort of your arms and after weeks apart he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of you. You didn’t mind and were willing to do just about anything to take his mind off of everything that happened and make him feel better.

The next morning you woke up with your head in Masons lap, his fingers raking over your scalp as he sat up against the headboard. You hummed at the feeling as you nestled down further into his thighs and you felt him shake as he laughed.

‘Hey’ you yawned, rolling onto your back so you could could look at him. His hand now holding you at your jaw as he stroked your cheek, a loving smile dressed his face as he peered down at you. ‘What you looking at’ you asked him quietly, noticing how his eyes kept looking over to his phone in his free hand, a warm smile taking over his face as he looked down at you.

‘There’s quite a few articles about me this morning, I’m just having a read’ he told you and you sighed in disappointment at him.

‘Oh Mase, I told you not to look at any of that stuff’ you scolded him, sitting up next to him so you could steal his phone from him but he didn’t let you.

‘Well why don’t you take a look before you start having a go at me’ he smiled, shoving the phone in your face so you could see what he had and you felt your face burn at the sight of the headlines you were faced with.

Back of the net: Mount scoring on and off the pitch

Princess of the pitch: Mounts girl steals everyone’s hearts as she comforts the distraught midfielder.

Sometimes even love lies down: Even mount couldn’t hide his emotions today after a cracking performance.

‘What’s all this’ you laughed, clicking on one so you could skim read it.

‘Well I think the media have fallen in love with you a little bit. They’re all saying how much of a lucky boy I am to have you. Not that I needed to be told, I already knew that’

‘There’s so many’ you laughed, reading down the list and looking at pictures of the pair of you face down on the pitch as you comforted him.

‘I love you’ you felt him whisper into your hair and you turned to face him with a shy smile. ‘I really do. I felt like shit when that whistle went yesterday and no matter who came over to me I just didn’t want anything to do with it until you were there. I’d probably still be laying there if it wasn’t for you’ he laughed before kissing your nose softly.

‘And I’d be laying right next to you’ you laughed before pulling him in for a proper kiss. ‘I’d do anything for you’

‘Me too’ he smiled, grabbing your thigh and pulling you onto his lap so you were straddling him. ‘Tell me what you want right now’ he spoke, lips trailing your jaw as his hands roamed over your bum. You clearly knew what he wanted but you loved to tease him in moments like this so set out to make him suffer.

‘Avocado toast’ you whispered and you felt him laugh as he pulled you closer to hug him.

‘Fine, I’ll go make you toast. But I’m having what I want to eat after’ he told you in a low voice, nipping your neck as you rocked your hips over him once. ‘You coming with?’ He asked before standing the pair of you up.

‘Looks like I don’t have a choice’ you laughed, following along as he pulled you with him out of the room.

Thank you so much for reading, please let me know what you thought as it really helps motivate me to want to write more 🩷

[wlwprker]

coming out- s.r. x gn!reader

a/n: this is my first time writing for gn! reader so i apologize if it's not great! In honor of pride month coming up, I wanted to write a little blurb of reader coming out as bi to spencer, ik some people don't have the best experiences w/ coming out so i hope this provides you with comfort! I want every single one of you reading this to know that no matter how you identify, you are VALID and loved :) bi!reid is real to me !!

warnings: insecurities, self-doubt, i didn't proofread too much sorry for grammar or spelling mistakes!! bold and italics! lowercase intended

wc: 913

you always knew you were different than most people your age in almost every single way. you didn't like parties, you found peace within the pages of a book rather than at a bass boosting party with alcohol and strangers compacted into one area. you liked the rain especially the petrichor that the rain provided, it was peaceful.

however, you could get lost in your own head just thinking about anything and everything. today's topic that was plaguing your mind was your sexuality, a very touchy subject. you knew so many people who knew who they were at the start but that was just not you, you found people attractive which is normal, but it wasn't until high school that something had changed, and you weren't prepared for it, so you pushed it down so far that you thought it wasn't real.

it was very real. you thought the way you felt for your friend was a platonic feeling but it wasn't. you daydreamed about them, being with them, wanting to cross the line of friendship. you yearned for them and every single conversation, meaningless touch, every look...it drove you crazy.

so now all that repressing has come back to the surface all these years later and you're forced to address these feelings, emotions and thoughts all at once. what scared you more than anything was having to come out, that was something that you never have had to do before.

naturally, your mind shifted to spencer. you haven't been together long, but you hoped he wouldn't look at you differently or treat you differently, it terrified you. it was way too early in the morning for this, you had to get ready for work, spencer always was up earlier than you, so he wasn't home. you sighed and shook off your thoughts as you got ready and grabbed breakfast and coffee and headed to work.

you both worked at the BAU, and you both knew it was risky to be together because of what the job entailed but spencer and you wanted to take that risk. work was a good distraction from being stuck inside your head, you could use something to push those thoughts far away.

however, spencer knew you like the back of his hand, he knew something was wrong, but you had to be in the briefing room for a case, he would find time to talk to you. the case was a rough one to put it lightly, everyone felt drained mentally and emotionally which just added more thoughts to your head.

"you're not sleeping?", spencer said quietly so he wouldn't startle you. you shrugged and avoided his eyes because you knew if you looked in his eyes, his eyes would be asking you to talk to him, you can't, not yet.

spencer noticed the way you didn't look at him and his eyebrows furrowed in worry, he knew you didn't want to talk but there was clearly something circling in your mind.

the jet ride back to the office was quiet, very quiet. as soon as the jet landed, you grabbed your stuff and waited for spencer. spencer packed his stuff and put an arm around your waist, and you started to walk towards the parking lot, but spencer softly guided you to the empty briefing room.

"spencer, what are we doing in here?", you asked curiously. he didn't answer he just looked at you, waiting for you to meet his eyes.

"what is running through that mind of yours?"

you didn't answer and spencer lifted your chin up with his finger, so you were now looking at him. "there's that pretty face!"

you couldn't fight the smile that appeared on your face. spencer always knew how to lift your spirits no matter what. it was one of the endless reasons why you adore him so much, you are so grateful to have someone who cares for you as much as he does.

"it's nothing, it's stupid"

"if it's bothering you, it's not stupid", spencer whispered, and you knew that you couldn't keep it in anymore, it was spencer, he has never judged you.

"i just don't want you to think about me differently"

spencer's heart twisted in pain at the mere thought that you were worried he would think of you in a different way. "sweetheart, there is nothing that you could do or say that will change the way i feel about you"

you took a deep breath and played with your necklace as you worked up the courage to finally speak. "i'm bisexual and i've been driving myself absolutely crazy because I didn't want you to like think of me or treat me differently. not that you would but i get so lost in my own head and i was just so scared that i-" spencer cut off your rambling by grabbing your face in his hands and kissed you with so much adoration, you felt dizzy.

"thank you for trusting me with this, angel but i love you, you know that right? it doesn't matter to me who you love because you're still all i want every day of my life"

spencer reid will be the death of you.

"i love you too, spence", you said as he feigned a sigh of relief, and you rolled your eyes playfully at his antics.

"at least we have another thing in common"

you raised your eyebrows at him, and he smiled brightly back at you.

[nexus-my-beloved]

I think the beauty of "I Saw The TV Glow" is that you take what's relevant to you from the movie.

(Below is my whole review, of sorts.)

I finally watched the movie today after seeing people talk about it for a while. Everyone I'd seen that had talked about it had some gut-wrenching reaction and said it was so impactful and that it hurt them but also was really good. One person on TikTok went as far as to say that the movie felt like "getting into a car accident and getting up to go get groceries". I thought they were over exaggerating, because anytime I see others have heavily emotional reactions to pieces of media, I never had a reaction that extreme. With I Saw The TV Glow, though? That movie made me feel more than I have felt about any other movie. It's rare that any movie, show, or book has something I relate so heavily to in it. (The only other example I can think of that made me have even a split second of the reaction I did with ISTTVG was the scene where Riley ran away in the first Inside Out because of my own experiences with running and the contrast in how her parents readily accepted her home vs my own situation, but that's a story for another day.) Watching I Saw The TV Glow left me feeling almost numb and unsure how to feel for the next fifteen minutes because it'd felt like I'd been gutted and stitched back together poorly with fishing line.

I've heard stories about how some people watched it in theaters and heard other people say something about how the movie was stupid, or how the theater laughed at certain parts, or how people made homo/transphobic comments. According to another TikTok poster, they'd seen an early screening and another person that had seen the same screening put a review on the movie about how if they were in the director chair they could've fixed the movie. There was nothing to fix about it. People took what was relevant to them from the movie. The people in theaters full of people that didn't get it while they were in tears were so much more moved by the movie and I find it beautiful that a piece of media can work that way. To go over the heads of those who the message is not for but strike the hearts of those it was meant for? That's beautiful.

The description of the movie does not do justice to what it really was about. I can't even spoil really because the movie was so much more to me than the plot, but here's a little warning for certain parts of the movie towards the end, anyway.

I'd heard so many people say that the movie did really well with the transgender symbolism but I didn't expect it to be so well done until I saw it myself. I'd heard no one talk about the dissociation that was so well portrayed in the movie or the way the finding identity (or lack of finding it) was so important.

As soon as I heard Owen say that they didn't know what they liked on the bleachers I knew I was in for it. In the beginning of the movie, I was really confused, I didn't get how things fit together, but when they were talking to Maddy and said that they felt like there was nothing there and they didn't know what they liked it really hit me that the movie was going to be impactful. "I like tv shows" being the only thing Owen could come up with was something that seemed so little but was so important to me.

I Saw The TV Glow did really well with portraying the disconnect to life that I personally feel a lot. "I was 19, then I was 20.. then I was 21." The repeated line of "years seemed to pass like seconds" really hits hard when you've been feeling like life is going too quickly, like time is slipping away from you. The consistent time skips that made it seem like time was passing too fast added to that and it was so well done.

Whether you take it literally or metaphorically with the concept of Owen and Maddy really belonging to the show "The Pink Opaque", the way they were buried alive and suffocating and being put into a different world worked really well. Either it confirmed a feeling of being out of place because they really didn't belong and they felt like suffocating because they really were buried alive, or it worked as a metaphor for how going through life as the wrong person rather than embracing your identity feels suffocating. The difference between Maddy and Owen was that Maddy was willing to learn more of who she was, to embrace more of her identity. Owen, though, was afraid to, and despite knowing that who they were under the surface was there by the end, they still supressed it. The quote "There is still time" that Maddy wrote on the street was so impactful because it reassured that (to me, at least), not everything needs to be figured out, and even though we don't have infinite time, as long as we are alive there is still time to figure outselves out. Owen didn't take the advice, but it still gave that message to the audience and it was so well done.

Owen's monologue in the theater, wondering if Maddy was right and they really were someone "beautiful" was so impactful. Regardless if you took the movie literal or not, Owen thinking that maybe there was a chance they could find themselves beautiful and then writing it off as fantasy was the equivalent of every trans person who didn't allow themselves to transition and stayed in/went back into the closet because they didn't think they could be someone they'd really like. The speech by Mr Melancholy of "You won't even realize you're dying" hurt so much because no, you don't realize that not transitioning is hurting you until you give it a chance, usually. (I didn't, at least.) It hurt in such a beautiful way.

At the end, when Owen was working in the arcade, the machine saying "you're dying" and the clear panic attack they were having was so gut-wrenching. Watching them have that scream and everyone around them have no reaction was really symbolic of feeling like your skin isn't yours and you're hurting and feel like you're suffocating/dying and no one notices. That's exactly what it was, too - an entire room of people that didn't realize Owen was dying. The screaming for their mom, the apologizing to people that don't even care because they didn't even notice, it was so beautiful and so hurtful all at once. Owen cutting themselves open in the bathroom and seeing their identity, everything they were, was still there, but still covering it up and apologizing to the other workers.. hiding your identity and apologizing for the concept of even trying to be yourself hurts but it happens in real life, apologizing for feeling like you aren't allowed to be yourself.

I think what's better was the movie being marked partially as a horror movie despite it not really being "scary". The horror was more like the horrors of finding yourself/being yourself/realizing that time is passing. I saw another person somewhere say that the horror aspect was the fact that not everyone would get it and say that it was stupid, and I couldn't agree more. That is scary. Scary that people will see something so meaningful and not see anything about it/won't get it. It really sets the concept that there are some things (especially regarding trans identity) that a lot of people just don't understand.

I Saw The TV Glow was all about two people going through life, the dissociation as life goes by and time slips away, and the journey of identity (with one finding themselves and the other refusing to allow themselves to express who they were). That's what I got, at least.

Feel free to share your own opinions on it <3

[hauntingcryptids]

Speaking Up For Your Needs

Capaldi!Doctor x Reader

Summary - The Reader is having a bad day where they are feeling incredibly touch starved, but then The Doctor decides to teach The Reader how to fly The TARDIS.

Based On This Request -

Warnings - Themes of depression and loneliness

Word Count - 1510

A/n - Gender Neutral Reader. I had a second idea from this request. So, I just wanted to post it because I thought it was cute!

------------------------------------------------------------

Your body hurt and your skin felt like it was burning. You desperately wanted to reach out and hold someone’s hand, hug them, and rest against their shoulder after a tough day, but you could never bring yourself to ask for that kind of comfort. This happened a lot in your life; you remember feeling this way since you were a child. Whenever you had gone months without touch you would become like this. Just a mix of want and anxiety.

Your parents had instilled a toxic ideology in you from a young age: overly touchy people are annoying, and you mustn’t trouble people with physical affection. Even when you grew up and left your parent’s home, you never braved showing physical affection to your friends or partners. You were too scared of scaring them away because of everything your parents had told you. But it seemed that the more reserved you stayed in those relationships, the more they pulled away from you. And after a while, you would end up alone again.

You began travelling with The Doctor almost a year ago. He had asked you to travel with him after months of the two of you accidentally meeting in random places. The Doctor had said at the time that the main reason as to why he asked you to travel with him was because he could sense that you were lonely. You didn’t understand what he meant by that until now. You were in so much denial about how lonely and touch-starved you were. Now, though, you understood. You wanted to reach out to The Doctor about your needs, but you didn’t know how. 

You had seen how The Doctor interacted on adventures after saving people. Some would offer him handshakes and pats on the back and hugs, and he would either skirt away from them or his body would tense uncomfortably. You never wanted to make him feel that way. But he offered you so much emotional, financial, and just general support in so many ways, yet all you needed right now was a hug. Because of all the help he offered you in other ways, would The Doctor actually be willing to show you physical affection?

Today was a quiet day in the TARDIS. That almost made what you were feeling worse. On loud days, you could ignore your needs and just focus on the adventure and helping people that were in trouble.

“Now, given that you have been in the TARDIS for a while…” The Doctor announced as soon as he entered The TARDIS console with a couple of books in his arms. He had asked you to meet him there once you were ready for the day.

“I think that you should learn how to fly her.”

“What?!” You jumped up from your seat in shock.

“I’m not ready for that, Doctor!”

“Of course you are. Aren’t they, old girl?” The Doctor patted the console of the ship after setting the books down. The TARDIS then beeped reassuringly in agreement with The Doctor’s comment.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt her or get the two of us into some sort of trouble.”

“Don’t worry. I will be here to guide you and The TARDIS will put extra protections on everything so we don’t punch a hole in the fabric of reality.”

“Can that happen?” You asked frantically as a new wave of panic rushed through you.

“No! Just joking around with you.” You nodded and breathed a sigh of relief, but then when you looked at The Doctor again, he was grinning like a maniac.

“Are you lying?”

“Of course!”

“Doctor!”

“Just come on, come on, come on! You’re ready and you know it!” The Doctor made a rapid circular hand movement in the air before he pulled you toward The TARDIS console. You ended up slumping beside him as he began to describe the functions of his ship.

The Doctor first explained every button and lever and random alien spinning device before you. He was being incredibly considerate in helping you understand something so incredibly inhuman, which surprised you. The Doctor, especially in this regeneration, didn’t have the most patient attitude.

You did well in remembering all of the parts of the console, but actually flying the time and space machine proved to be very difficult for you. Again, though, The Doctor was very encouraging, but nothing you tried led you to successfully flying The TARDIS.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” You ended up whining after another failed try at piloting the alien ship.

“Yes, you can! You just got to give it some welly!” 

The Doctor, almost out of nowhere, moved behind you and placed his hands on the console on either side of you. You instantly froze. The Doctor was still talking, encouraging you about your abilities and reminding you of some of the buttons and levers. You could barely concentrate, though. You could feel the heat of The Doctor’s body radiating off of him and into your back. He was so close to holding you that you almost couldn’t believe that this was really happening. Eventually, you had to take a deep breath in order to contain yourself from developing into a full daydream.

The Doctor stayed behind you and muttered encouraging statements as you attempted to pilot his ship again. It was difficult, of course, but you felt different this time. For some reason, with The Doctor so close to you and his words in your ear, you finally managed to fly The TARDIS.

“I did it!” You exclaimed excitedly.

“Of course you did! I knew that you could.”

You sighed and tried to release some of the tension that had built up in your body since The Doctor surrounded you with his body. You could hear that The Doctor was continuing to congratulate you, but you didn’t know how to respond to his comments, so you just hid your head and nodded. 

Tentatively, The Doctor placed his hands on your upper arms and sighed heavily in thought before speaking. You froze again upon feeling The Doctor’s boney yet firm hands on your body. You didn’t know what to think of everything that occurred that morning. But eventually, The Doctor spoke and did his best to relieve any anxiety that you might have.

“I know that you're lonely. I told you so when I first invited you to travel with me …” The Doctor paused before continuing.

“I’m lonely, too, sometimes. But I have been a lot less lonely since beginning to travel with you.” The Doctor paused again. You felt your eyes begin to water, but you refused to let yourself cry.

“Our situations are very different, but you don't have to completely close yourself off to me. I want to be here for you, however you need me.” 

You fell back into The Doctor’s chest, and he instantly wrapped his arms around your torso and rested his head against yours. It felt so nice to be held again like everything was right in the Universe. Your skin felt cool, and your body relaxed, the opposite of how your felt earlier. You now had to intensely fight to hold back tears as you felt your body finally fully relax within the strong arms of The Doctor.

“Every person has boundaries. It would be unsafe if you were to not have them. But please don’t think that you are upsetting me by speaking up about your needs. Okay?” You nodded into The Doctor’s shoulder and uttered a content ‘I understand’ which was muffled by The Doctor’s coat. Sometime during your time being held by The Doctor, you had turned in his arms. You didn’t remember doing this until much later, but you were surprised, despite what he stated, that he stayed like this with you. 

The Doctor ended up swaying back and forth for a bit with you in his arms, but as The Doctor usually does, he got bored very quickly. 

“You know … There is a planet where instead of handshakes, it’s mannerly for the people to introduce themselves with long hugs. Also, they have multiple interactive cuddle amusement parks and resorts. If you would like to go there with me?”

“You’re getting bored just standing around, aren’t you?” You joke into The Doctor’s jacket.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologise. I’d love to go to that planet with you, Doctor. But will you cuddle me while we read together sometimes?” You asked as you slightly pulled away from the Time Lord. The Doctor still kept his arms around you tightly, not allowing you to move too far away from his chest.

“I’ll do it all the time, Y/n. But let’s go to that cuddle planet!” The Doctor kissed your forehead before taking one of your hands and spinning you around a couple of times. He then jumped around the console in order to pilot the two of you to the cuddle planet, where you spent the rest of the day together.

[missbluechicken]

It’s Long Overdue

Sebastian x fem farmer

Content : Love Confession, sfw

Word count : 737

I have an interest in writing a book so this is me practicing my skill, you can leave advices on what do you like, where could I improve too. But please be civil, thank you. ENJOY🌙

She sits across the room from him, looking at him doing his work on the computer. She never thought he was the type of guy she would befriend. But they are actually more similar than she thought, they both like fantasy books and games.

Friend is an interesting word to use to describe them. They normally hang out in a group with Sam and Abby, especially when they have band practice. Sometimes Sam would let her play his guitar.

Underline sometime with a red marker, really, sometime. But understandable, she wouldn't want people to play her guitar too if she had one.

Not until lately that she and Seb start hanging out alone. It starts when she comes back from mining and sees him beside the lake smoking so she says hi to him. He said he likes to be alone in his thoughts, but he wouldn't mind some company, so she sticks around.

And it develops into hanging out in his room together.

"It's kinda late." She said, looking at the clock on the desk. "I need to wake up early tomorrow. I think I should go."

"Oh, Okay. I forgot some people wake up when the sun rises sometime." He said with a playful tone.

Why did she say 'Friend' is an interesting word to use?

Because they both have feelings for each other, well at least her. But Sebastian isn't the one who could keep feeling very well, behind that melancholia layer is a guy who really has a sensitive soul.

Longing glances, however good he thinks he hid it wasn't good enough.

Every game the group plays, every hang-out, an invitation would always be extended to the farmer. Not once do these eyes stop scanning around for the sight of the farmer.

It took only a while that the group to catch on to their feelings and start teasing them. She herself gets so clingy on him. If there is a void egg lying around, he's the one who gets it first.

So it wasn’t so hard to pick it up.

They both kinda know what's going on, but no one makes the first move.

He probably didn’t because he was scared she would reject him, what if it's all in his head? What if she is just nice?

He couldn't risk doing it and making things awkward, so he didn't. He doesn't want to lose her.

And her? Because she is scared too, her relationship history isn't the best. She has too many relationships that she feels a lot more than her partner, trying too hard, too many.

Sebastian doesn't show a lot of emotion, and that could be interpreted as lack of it. She knows deep down it wasn't true, but her insecurity and anxiety is holding her back.

But today is not the day, it's long overdue. Will they, won't they trope, could be cute for so long.

She is willing to risk it again, willing to let herself feel emotion, risking her heart break, risking saying goodbye if need to.

If the bet is to be with him, love him in the way that just a friend can't, touch him, to be with him.

"Seb"

"Yes?" He looks in her eyes, and that makes her stomach feel like it has more butterflies than it already is.

"I like you... more than friends." She struggles to make her feelings clear. "I think I’m in love with you."

It's out. He looks at her in shock, his expression hasn't changed much, but she could tell he's shocked.

Sebastian couldn’t believe what he heard, that monster inside him kept telling him it never gonna happen. But right now it did. The monster is gone, got shadowed by that simple sentence.

Then he smiles, a smile that can lighten up the whole world. "I think I feel the same, you don't know how many times I dream of this moment."

She let out a breath, she was relieved. She walks toward his chair and hugs him, resting her head on his head. He held her waist and rested his head on it, she could feel him smile.

It felt so good, it was warm. It feel so comfortable.

But at the same time her heart was still racing so fast she was scared she would have a heart attack. But fuck it, dying in this emo boy's arm does not sound bad at all.

[ella-nabilah]

Bullied

Fourth grade was the best school year in all of my primary school life. I experienced many memories from all facets of emotions such as joy from getting first place in all of my exams, fear from being scolded by my teachers whenever I did not finish my homework, and sorrow whenever I fought with one of my friends. But nothing could quite make me forget about the emotions I felt during my fifth grade the following year.

My transition to the first class in my fifth grade made me immensely proud and happy. After all, it was a class for the smartest kids in school. I never thought I would ever set foot in this class because I believed I was not smart enough. However, my judgment of myself proved to be flawed since my achievements were clear evidence that I earned my place in this class.

The first few weeks were great. I gained a friend who would always compliment me and stick by my side, even going so far as to sit beside me in class. She was cheerful and nice, but it did not last very long.

One day, without any proper reason, she just started to act hostile towards me. She convinced the whole class to ignore me, and she jumped at any opportunity to mock or ridicule me, whatever she thought would put me down. She even went so far as to pour drinks on my table when no one noticed. Sometimes it would just be plain water, other times it would be syrup or chocolate drinks. Thankfully, none of my books were ever ruined.

I never knew her reason for bullying me when I have been nothing but nice to her. I never tried to ask her either for fear that she might do something even worse to me. I have always been a quiet and shy person in my childhood, so it was no wonder why I never fought back nor told anyone about her bullying me.

The bullying ceased, or so I thought, when our final examination was just around the corner. After the examination ended and it was just a few short weeks before the semester break, the accomplice of my bully approached me and apologised for her actions, even if she was not the one who initiated the bullying. Being the nice girl I was back then, I forgave her.

Of course, after reassuring her we are now on good terms, I asked the bully's accomplice for the reason my bully did all that mean stuff to me. To my surprise, she admitted that she truly did not have any knowledge in that regard, so it remained forever a mystery to me until today.

Well, I suppose such a setback in life only served to boost my confidence and outlook of life. After all, let bygones be bygones, but be sure to learn a lesson from them!

[keefwho]

December 17 - 2022

10:25 AM

Like a HOLY sign I opened up my ACT book and found a section about nurturing relationships. I’m not done reading over it but so far it’s word for word describing the kinds of problems I’m having right now and what I could do about them. I’m excited to find some sturdier direction and put some effort into making positive changes in my behavior. I’ve sulked enough, I’m ready to put work into what I want. I know nothing happens without someone doing something about it. My room won’t get clean without me cleaning it, projects won’t get done without me doing them, and I won’t get better without self work. 

I’ve gotten pretty far with my anxiety from the start of my journey and while I’m far from where I want to be, I think I’m far enough to justify focusing more on my relationships. Or focusing on them equally. Maybe I’m just now truly realizing it or I was too afraid to admit it in the past but I struggle socially. Not with interaction but how I treat and feel about my relationships. Now that I think back on it, I’ve unintentionally moved in the direction I want to be going. The friends I’ve made lately are TRUE friends. People I honestly care about and would do anything for, and I feel that in return. A lot of relationships in the past have not been open to emotional discussion and it limited how intimate things were. And it was always my fault, I was not open emotionally until this year. 

There are so many things wrong with how I tend to think about people and act towards them, its too much to unpack right now. Its definitely something that needs to be taken one step at a time. I’ll keep going back to my book for guidance on what kinds of topics I can focus on. 

3:52 PM

I was not prepared enough for Christmas. I have a thing to draw I haven’t started on, some model work I haven’t started on, and a physical project that is taking much more learning than I thought it would. Unless I crank all this out in a week, things are gonna be late. Especially the one I have to mail. That one probably can’t get there in time even if I finished it today. It sucks but I know it’s not a big a deal as I’m making it. What matters is that I made anything at all, my friends won’t mind if things are late. 

10:11 PM

This even went very well. I ran into someone I apparently met before but unfriended because we never hang out after that initial meeting, and we had fun. We had a funny little squad with him, one of my friends, and another furry we met along the way. It was a nice social night. I didn’t go in intending to do this, but I felt very empathetic and caring towards everyone. Thats my goal, to truly care even though I might just be with a stranger. I want to listen to and accept people naturally. Tonight I did that. 

11:45 PM

This Christmas present project is KILLING ME, I can’t stop thinking about it because I really wanna do a good job on it. I gotta chill out and give it the appropriate amount of time and thought. And try my best which is all I can really do. I imagine I won’t be able to make it as good as I fantasize about but I’ll give it my all. 

12:39 AM

I thought I had tasted the unmistakable flavor of broken tooth after brushing my teeth tonight and I think something chipped off of one of my upper wisdom teeth. Very annoying, why there of all places? I can’t even chew with those because of my other fucked up teeth and I’ve been good about brushing my teeth ever since I started growing them in. Why would they get fucked up? 

I really need a dentist visit but at this point I’d wanna get completely knocked out so they can do everything in one go. There’s enough to do to justify that. 

[yoursecrett]

I love you

MattheoRiddle x NottReader

Summary: Mattheo never let his guard down, he was never shown love, he didn’t know what it felt like… that was until Y/n came along

**************************************************

You were never the one to stay up late especially when you had lessons early the next morning, you were always asleep by at least 10:30pm at the latest… but tonight was different you couldn’t sleep it was already 12:45am, your bed was not comfortable, your pillow was too warm, you just couldn’t seem to stop tossing and turning.

You had even read one of your favourite books before settling into bed and you were sure that would always make you fall asleep, but there was just something in the back of your mind and you didn’t know what it was.

You were cut from your thoughts when you heard a soft knock on your door, you were luckily to have your own dorm being the Slytherin prefect had its pros ‘who the hell is coming to my dorm at 1am’ you thought to yourself before standing up rapping your robe around your body before opening your door slowly.

You were shocked to say the least when your saw your boyfriend of 9months standing at your door.

Let’s get this straight Mattheo was scared of relationships, he didn’t even know what one was until 5th year, he would always sleep around he claimed “it’s more fun”, he would run at the slightest bit of love being thrown at him… just like he had done 2 days prior.

~~~~~~~Flashback 2 days ago~~~~~~~~~~

Today was finally the day, you were going to tell Mattheo you loved him, you had been thinking about it for a while and today you finally plucked up the courage to do it.

Nervous was an understatement of what you were truly feeling, how will Mattheo react? Will he say it back? Questions constantly running through your mind.

You had spotted him sitting up in a tree smoking with Draco and your twin brother Theo, you slowly made your way towards them before stopping in front of the tree.

“Mattheo” you say gaining his attention, you saw a slight smile on his face when he saw you… Mattheo would never one to show emotion, he rarely ever smiled, laughed… he was emotionless.

“Hey Y/n/n” he says jumping down the tree stopping in front of you “I’ll see use later” he says to the two boys who were as high as the clouds on some muggle weed they bought, Mattheo raps his arm around you before walking inside the castle.

“Can we talk” you say quickly spinning around so you were in front of him, you saw a confused look on his before he nodded leaning against the wall watching you like a hawk.

“Mattheo we have been dating for 9 months now and that is quite a long time, and I guess what I am trying to say is that I love” you couldn’t finish your sentence before he cut you off with one word that broke your heart on the spot.

“No” he mutters standing up straight “no Y/n” he says shaking his head before walking away from you, you felt as though the world had slowed down around you.

~~~~~~~~Flashback over ~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been exactly 2 days since you last saw him he didn’t come to any meals you knew Draco was taking him food back, Theo didn’t talk to Mattheo, you knew he would take your side over anyone and once you told him what happened you had to make him swear he wouldn’t do or say anything.

And now here stands Mattheo at 1am, you felt a sour mood travel through your body “what” you say a harsh glare worn on your face, you could tell he tended slightly from the tone on your voice.

“I’m sorry” was the only thing he said, you couldn’t help but scoff “2 days too late Mattheo, now excuse me it’s 1am and I’m tired” you say beginning to close the door but felt his hand push it back open.

“Y/n/n I’m sorry baby okay, please forgive me, you know what I am like when it comes to stuff like that, I can’t handle it” he mutters rubbing his hand over his face, you felt back you knew how he felt, he had explained it to you many times before.

“I have been miserable the last couple days, I’m sorry please forgiven me” he says walking towards you pulling you into a tight hug muttering “I’m sorry” consistently into your ear.

“It’s okay Mattheo, we can talk in the morning” you say moving away from him laying back in your bed, he watched you unsure what to do “close the door Mattheo and come to bed” you said softly.

You had never seen him move so fast, he laid beside you the darkness covering most of his face, the only thing lighting you both up was the moonlight, you traced his face softly with your finger, as he closed his eyes and relaxed under his touch.

“Can you say it again” he questions his eyes still shut as though he was afraid to show you emotion “say what again Mattheo” you say softly “you know what Y/n/n” he replied still refusing to open his eyes

“I love you Mattheo” you whisper softly into his ear kissing his temple softly before laying back down, you were shocked when you heard sniffling coming from him.

“You know how I feel about you Y/n, but I just cannot say it back to you I’m sorry” he says opening his eyes, you saw tears in them, you had never seen him try his entire Hogwarts years and now here he was in the 7th year showing emotion to you.

“It’s okay, it’s okay” you say hugging him tightly, running your fingers through his hair “it’s okay” you muttered.

Even though you said it was okay, you couldn’t help but wish maybe one day he could say those three words to you…

((Hope you all enjoy this little Mattheo Riddle Fanfic))

Any request I’m always open to listening to them :))

[rcksmith]

Gaze — Shoto Todoroki

Resume: since Shoto first laid eyes on you, he couldn't get you out of his head anymore.

Couple: Shoto Todoroki / Fem!reader

Warnings: swearing, explicit smut, NSFW, dirty talk, little angst and fluff.

Word count: 5k

A/N: English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

this was a birthday present for a friend, and she made me post it here, I hope you guys like it.

Requests are open only for MHA. Love you❤️

— — — —

“Love is like lightning; electrifying, fast. So fast and so powerful it can hit you in the blink of an eye and, in a matter of seconds, done. You will never be the same again.”

For some reason - a reason he doesn't know - Todoroki had engraved that quote in his mind. It was ironic if he stopped to think about it; he couldn't remember the title of the book that held those words, but they dug their nails into his soul like tattoos sting ink into skin.

Years passed and, among so many books and articles that had passed through his hands, nothing stuck as strong as that quote. And sometimes Shoto wondered why. It wasn't as if he belonged to the group of people who have sensitivity to feelings and emotions; from a young age he had been deprived of any affection or interaction that could lead him astray from the path of winning the All Might. For Endeavor, hero number 1 cannot have distractions. And affection, love, affection or fun were distractions. So Shoto was cut.

Cut off from his own emotions in such a profound way that, even today, there are certain situations that Shoto cannot say how he feels. Because he doesn't know what he's feeling.

So how, in his head, could something so sentimental have lodged so deeply inside him if he has no tact with certain emotions? It was a question that had echoed in his head for years. Never loud enough to distract him from his main thoughts, but never silent enough not to be felt.

It was like the sun: always there. You feel it every second of the day, but you don't look directly at it.

And it went on until that afternoon. Until Shoto Todoroki met you.

It was late afternoon. The sun was already setting over the horizon, painting the sky in shades of pink, dark yellow, and a little purple. The scent of the breeze was autumn, and for a second, when the breeze hit Shoto's hair before he walked into the room of AU Support Course, it brought not only the wind but also the feeling that his life was about to change forever.

Todoroki felt the shiver run down his spine, but he justified it as just cold and opened the workshop door.

"Hello." He took a step forward "Is anyone here?"

He hoped to find a teacher, or Hatsume. But what he found was extremely different.

"Hey." A female voice came from the back of the room "How can I help you?"

Shoto turned his gaze toward the voice, and that was all it took for his life to never be the same again. It was like letting out the air after holding breath for a long time, finding the Oasis after wandering through the scorching desert for centuries. In that second, he understood why he kept the quote from a book he couldn't even remember the name.

Because of you.

Because maybe his soul knew that when he saw you for the first time, he wouldn't find the words to explain to himself how he felt. To understand how he felt. So his soul kept those words, waiting for the exact moment to reveal why.

In that instant, the quote made sense. Because just as Todoroki laid eyes on you; your skin gleamed by the rays of the setting sun, your eyes as deep as the mysteries of the universe, your mouth almost competing with the color of the roses - was it a lipstick? he didn't care - it felt like he being struck by lightning.

An electrical charge that started from the top of his head to his toes, raising goose bumps on his arms and making his heart skip a beat before racing into a frantic rhythm.

Shoto Todoroki lost his breath. The Air, reasoning and focus. In that second, gravity was no longer holding him to Earth, it was you.

You left a tool on one of the tables, wiping your hands on a cloth before moving any closer to him. Your legs were covered in dark green pants that were part of a jumpsuit, but the top was open and fell around your hips like a coat tied at the waist, completely exposing your torso covered by a black tank top that showed your arms splattered with grease, some pen markings, and some small scratches.

For Shoto Todoroki, you were the most beautiful woman to ever set foot on Earth.

“H-hm.” It took him a second to regain his train of thought, feeling a little giddy in the presence of someone like you. “Professor Aizawa said he had a vacancy to ask for improvements to the costumes.”

That's when you smiled. And his world turned upside down once more.

holy shit!

“Yes yes!” Your voice showed an animation similar to Hatsume's “Aizawa asked me to open a space for you in my projects. You're the fire and ice quirk, aren't you? Incredible! I will create something amazing for you!”

He spent the next few hours there, in that workshop that smelled of new parts and late afternoon, even though he had other things to solve, even with moves to perfect. Todoroki remained there, beside you, with the excuse that he wanted to help find some modifications, but with the true meaning beating very hard in his chest.

Shoto knew he should leave, but for some reason something snaked inside him like a snake, giving him the feeling that maybe getting out of your side could hurt physically.

Something pulled him close to you in a very magnetic way, almost like a religious who spends his whole life praying and finally finds an angel, and now he doesn't want to let it slip anymore.

A part of his soul actually feared the pain he might feel if he left your side.

To his relief, you didn't seem to mind him staying there at all. You were a talkative, extravagant, and outgoing companie. You asked Shoto anything and everything, and brought up the subject whenever silence threatened to creep in.

Todoroki had met many people like that and, in most cases, he was stunned, a little lost. But in that second, watching you talk about some triviality while assembling a piece to handle the 100% temperature of his quirk, he found himself wishing you'd never stop talking. Because your voice was probably the thing closest he'd ever come to hearing the timbre of the angels of heaven.

Unfortunately, that day inevitably came to an end, but the support wasn't over yet and you asked Todoroki if he would like to stop by the workshop tomorrow and the two of you would finish the project. There were no hesitations on his part.

However, like the premonition Shoto had felt that day, something inside him actually hurt when he wasn't around you. Something became anxious, looking at the hands of the clock whenever too much time went by without hearing your voice.

It was like an addiction, pure nicotine that gnawed at his veins and disrupted his heart rate.

Shoto didn't understand any of those reactions, sensations, yearnings, he just felt that whenever he saw you, his soul finally calmed down. And that was what mattered.

That's how it all started.

When the prototype was completed, the excuse see each other was maintenance visits - even when clearly there was nothing wrong with the part. But neither of you two dared to say that.

Shoto discovered that your quirk was Intensification. You heightened the power of anything or anyone you touched. On objects the effect was lasting. That's why you were one of the standouts in the support course, your creations were overwhelmingly more potent than the others. But in humans your quirk only had an effect as long as you kept touching the person.

"That's why I knew I couldn't be a hero." You counted, as Shoto watched you mend a piece of his support - that he broke it on purpose in a fight just to have an excuse to talk to you.

“Are you upset?”

“Sincerely? No.” You laughed, and Shoto felt an involuntary smile paint his lips. “I have anxiety too, and I'm terrified of fights, I probably start crying in a combat situation.”

You laughed again and Todoroki felt his heart heat up and beat faster. Admitting that, something that would be a source of weakness for anyone, took courage. It was difficult to verbalize your own defects when they prevent you from being what people expect of you. He knew that. And hearing you tell your own weaknesses, so human, so real, made you shimmer like an ancient Greek goddess in all your glory.

“But there's no problem.” Your attention turned towards him. “the world will be safe as long as they have you as a hero” You winked at Shoto before you went back to what you were doing, and he felt his face heat up.

Over the weeks, Todoroki tried to understand all the emotions that had been bubbling up inside him with such fury.

But it didn't work so well, he always got to the same stage: he was away from you trying to understand himself, and something started to hurt, something started to stir with anxiety inside him. If Shoto ignored the first signs, his heart would start to race, his hands would itch, and something in his stomach would churn. And in a short period of time, all he could think about would be you.

Shoto only had relief when he found you. So, after a few attempts to overcome his own body, he just gave up trying to fight something insurmountable. Over time, Todoroki's visits to the workshop became more commonplace, and almost everyone in your classroom knew about Shoto. He usually showed up when academic hours were over, but some students in your course used their free time to work on their own projects. And many of them did it in the workshop.

Even so, neither Todoroki nor you seemed to mind being seen together.

Shoto was of a personality who didn't feel compelled to think about people's opinion of him, much less deprive himself of anything because of being in a public place. He was the owner of a reserved spirit, but never inhibited by others. And you just didn't have an ounce of shyness running through your body.

Unlike other classes, the students in the Support course really liked Class A. Their works would be displayed and used by heroes, and the heroes would have more victories with the help of their works. It was a hand-to-hand partnership that there was no point in rivalry in this type of relationship. Among these and more reasons, Todoroki was welcomed by the other students whenever he was there. He doesn't get in the way and, for other girls too, he was great eye candy.

“Do you notice that the number of girls has increased here since you started showing up? They'll start fighting for your attention.” You played with him one day.

But Shoto just shrugged as he said "But in not for they why I come here."

And things just got more serious from that point on.

After academic hours, and at some lunches, it became routine for the students in your class to look for Todoroki when they wanted to find you. Where Shoto was, you weren't far behind.

And for a while, just being by your side was enough for him. But one day, something changed.

Todoroki thought that his yearnings would be appeased just by seeing and hearing you, just by being close. But, like drug addiction, that wasn't enough. And at some point in the process, his hands began to itch and tingle whenever your skin was just a touch away.

He thought he had controlled his own soul, but he just found that he was never in control.

Halfway there, something got out of control, something went wrong. Because one day, as you walked beside him and pulled your hair into a ponytail, something inside Shoto roared very loudly.

His eyes descended to your slender neck, the pulsing vein, the skin that felt smoother than silk, and lowered a little further to the neckline of your black tank top… And it was then that the roar inside him became more rumbling. Something started a fire inside him, with flames stronger than his quirk's, and Todoroki felt, in his bones, that he might die if he didn't touch you.

Shoto lost his breath and his ability to rationalize and, in a second, he could no longer understand his emotions. That was that?! That feeling of overwhelming hunger, of insatiation. What was that feeling that if he didn't pull you close, touch you, explore, discover the taste of your skin, something inside him would explode?

Todoroki was stunned, thrown into a whirlpool of new sensations that seemed to tear at his soul, drowning him at the bottom of a fierce, raging ocean. And he didn't know how to handle it at first. Shoto thought that, if he pushed these sensations into the deepest dungeon of his being, it would all pass.

But it didn't. And it got worse as the days went by.

“Are you okay, Sho?" You touched his arm, and the whole room became more stuffy, more caustic.

You had begun not only to use his first name, but to abbreviate it to a much more intimate nickname. And that had consequences for him. Shoto knew he should have said something about it, but something inside him always heated up when he heard you call him that. At first, it was an innocent reaction, but now a part of him could only wonder if you would moan his nickname like that.

He swallowed hard, rolling his eyes in your direction. And he concluded that it was a fucking bad idea to bring you to his dorm.

It was late into a Friday night, and one day you had told Shoto that you couldn't sleep well on Fridays, so you ended up late at the workshop putting together something. At first, he tried to understand and look for ways to help you, but later he realized it was just your own anxiety mechanism. So, since there was no way to get you to sleep early, he just volunteered to spend that time with you.

Every Friday the two of you ended up doing something different until you felt sleepy, and today was the day you suggested start watching a series together. And Shoto offered his own dormitory.

It was a gentlemanly, worried gesture, but now - seeing you there, so fucking pretty, sitting on the rug covered with blankets and pillows in front of the TV - he thought he had shot himself in the foot.

“yes.” He forced his voice out "Thank you."

"You can tell if you've changed your mind and don't want to see the show today."

So is that what you thought was happening? Did you think he didn't want to watch TV with you? Hell, he would watch every movie and series ever made if it meant being by your side.

"It's not that." his hands tightening on the blanket, as if to keep them from taking on a life of their own and touching you.

"So what is it, Sho?" You still hadn't let go of his arm, and he stifled a groan at that

Todoroki made the mistake of looking at you this second. Because all his self-control went to space.

You were so beautiful. So fucking pretty. The softly flushed cheeks, the full, tempting mouth slightly ajar - like the gates of heaven - and the eyes, oh the damn eyes!, so sincere and looking at him with pure concern and awe.

At that moment, Todoroki felt inflamed and exploded.

To hell with everything!

Todoroki leaned in, brought his hands up to your face and sealed their lips together like it was the only thing in the world he wanted to do. You tasted of happiness, paradise and redemption, and Shoto was hurled straight into the garden of Eden. He moaned, or you, or both. Your hands fisted on his shirt as you kissed him back, pulling him closer as the dorm air grew terribly muggy.

"I thought you would never take the initiative." You teased with a smirk against his lips, and Shoto gasped.

Inflamed by the surge of desire and lust, Todoroki lowered his hands to your waist. “If you wanted me to kiss you…” he pulled you onto his lap, making you straddle his waist. “you just had to ask me”

This time the kiss was urgent, hot and desperate, the mouths moved in unison and you moaned softly as you felt his tongue explore the hot, needy flesh of yours. Your hands sank into the back of Shoto's head, tangling their fingers in his hair as his gripped your waist and brought you, if possible, closer. Your waist stirred in his lap looking for warmth, contact, and found a needy erection as firm as a sword hilt. This time you both moaned louder.

The urgency of the touch bubbled like boiling lava in both of you, making the desire, the despair, even more suffocating.

You left his lips to kiss the straight line of his jaw and Shoto gasped heavily, tilting his head back. When his hands tightened around your waist, you felt an anger inflict in your chest at all those clothes that hindered you from feeling his touch. Suddenly there were too many clothes, too many obstacles. The need for skin to skin was so urgent it clouded any world around it.

You took the first step of unbuttoning a button on his shirt, and something in the atmosphere changed drastically as his eyes locked with yours and the realization of what you were wanting swept through them.

His heterochromatic irises darkened, sunk in a deep ocean of desire smoldering. The ambient light seemed to dim, the breeze changed its tone, and suddenly everything was stuffy and claustrophobic. The desire in the air was overwhelming.

You felt Todoroki's hands tighten on your waist so hard, and in the next second his mouth was on yours again. More determined, fierce and wild. This time masculine hands pulled your shirt up and you moaned loudly as you felt his warm lips dig into your neck.

"You are so pretty." He muttered in a moan, his fingers trailing up your back in a gesture of veneration, as if he'd had a chance to touch a goddess. "So fucking gorgeous." His mouth dipped along your bra, and you squirmed in his lap.

"Shoto." Your whimper sent wicked waves straight to his erection, and you could swear he cursed before hurriedly pulling down your bra straps and catching a breast in his mouth like it was a man's last meal desperate for food.

Todoroki braced his hands on your back, pulling you closer and trapping you in that position. His mouth dipped into your breast desperately, his nose pressed to your skin and his hands holding you back, as if it were a crime of the worst scale for you to walk away.

Your head lolled back, your mouth parted on a silent moan and your hands clasped the back of his head.

Shoto didn't want you to back off and that was the last thing you wanted to do.

“Sho…” You meowed, your waist shifting against his raging erection. “Please…” your ask was more of a plea.

Todoroki let out a mutter of denial, releasing youe breast only to plunge his mouth into the other. "Let me taste you some more.” He muttered, wrapping his arms around your waist.

You were thrown too high, out of the clouds, out of the sky itself, a knot in your pussy was forming and you shifted harder in his lap to soothe that feeling. At this point, your skirt was already a mess on the tops of your thighs, your wet panties pressed directly against his throbbing erection, and Shoto could have sworn that even with his underwear and pants in the way, he could feel your heat.

This only made him more overcome with desire.

You pushed your pussy against him once more and Todoroki growled, sinking his teeth into your breast and digging his nails into your skin. This was all too much for him. Too many sensations, too many reactions. All with such intensity that it overwhelmed him so overwhelmingly that he felt breathless, on the verge of bursting.

For someone who has never felt his own emotions so intensely – just his hatred for Endeavor – all those burning sensations pushed him to the edge, the edge of uncontrollable. It was only in that second that he realized how hungry he was. Hungry for affection, for love, for contact and for touch. Hungry for intense sensations that made him lose himself.

And Todoroki directed all of this at you.

“Fuck!” he moaned loudly, bringing one hand to your waist and following your hip movements.

You didn't notice the moment he took his shirt off, or unbuttoned his pants, but you gave thanks the second his dick sprang free of his pants; hot, hard, wild and swollen. His head was red and drooling, and the moan you made at the sight of him only further fueled Shoto's hunger.

"Come here." He said before pulling you in for another deep kiss, devouring your mouth, making you whimper and glue your whole body to his.

"And I need you." your voice confessed, your forehead dropping to his shoulder as his sinful mouth bit and sucked on your neck.

"And...I don't know if I can be very...h-um, careful." Todoroki admitted, fighting his own visseral urge to just peel off your panties and dive into you. “I want you so much.” His voice sounded like he was in pain.

Everything inside him roared like a beast, and he no longer felt in control of anything, but he still clung to a thread that how you felt was more important than all that. His breathing was labored, his lips swollen and moans broken in his throat.

“You do not need.” Your whimpering came in a plea for him to appease your hunger "please, please." your lips peppered his shoulder with broken kisses, your waist shifting in his lap, your breasts pressed against his strong, toned chest.

Everything about Shoto Todoroki was so masculine. The strong, resolute hands, the toned, muscled chest and belly, the lean, strong arms, and that face that made you dream impure dreams at night. Your words seem to turn the key to something— perhaps turning off all his rationality, or freeing all his restraints — but Todoroki moaned an obscene curse before hurriedly pushing your panties aside and rubbing the head of his dick into your folds so wet.

“Holy f-fuck.” He gasped, teeth digging into your shoulder as his free arm pushed your back closer, pressing your chest even closer to his.

You moaned something- his name or a plea, begging for more-but it turned into a scream filled with lust as his head sank into your plush walls. Todoroki bit harder on your shoulder, as if he were taking away the control he had to have in order not to get in you at once.

"S-sho...oh-fuck!" Your hands tightened on the back of his head as you spread your legs wider and tried to push him deeper.

“No." He growled, his hands stilling at your waist, the head of his cock throbbing furiously at the beginning of its path inside you, “I'm trying not to hurt you. If you move like that l-I will…”

“Please please." You lifted your head and his too, sealing lips in sloppy kisses. "Please hurt me if you need to, just fuck me, please..."

“Damn it” he muttered into your lips before squeezing both hands tighter on your waist and pulling you all the way down, shoving his entire cock inside you.

Todoroki swallowed your scream with a hungry kiss, pulling you up and down like you weighed nothing, sinking his cock deeper and deeper into your plush walls. The dorm was filled with clashing skin sounds, broken moans and loud gasps. Your arms wrapped around Shoto's neck as your hips slapped his in a lusty, desperate rhythm.

His hands were squeezing you with possession, not roughly but with enough strength and savagery to leave bruises tomorrow on his fingertips.

Todoroki moved his lips to your neck, dipping his mouth there in an attempt to stifle his broken moans. "You feel so good." He muttered like it was a cardinal sin.

Nails digging into your sweaty skin, Shoto added more brutality to his incessant rhythm, tapping the tip of the cock's head in that magical place of yours that made you curl your toes and tremble your thighs. He knew he should be more gentle, more controlled, pondering the brute force with which he fucked you, but his body no longer obeyed.

The feeling was of having been hungry all my life and finally being able to eat.

Your hot, wet pussy engulfing his cock made him question his own sanity. Because the more cream of it drooled and formed a white ring around Shoto's long, hard shaft, the easier it was to slide brutally inside you, the more the overwhelming hunger increased.

He needed more. He needed fucking more.

Turning you over and laying your back on the blanket-covered floor, Shoto spread your knees further and pushed his dick inside your sensitive walls until the barrier at the entrance to your uterus prevented him from going any further.

“Oh m-m….!” You bit your lip to stifle scream, arching your back and throwing your head back.

Todoroki growled loud with the feeling of being tucked to the last possible millimeter inside you, it was like being in fucking heaven. But still the hunger, the desire, the craving and the lust screamed too loud. Too strong. Shoto sat up on his knees and clamped his hands on your waist, using them to lift your hips and pull you to him tightly. Trying to go deeper, ruining your body for anyone else.

The primal thrill of possession screamed inside him, and had his dick pounding into your walls with rough, relentless thrusts, trying to mark you.

"Oh fu-fuck!" You squeezed his arms, your breasts bouncing with the force of his thrusts, tears streaming from your eyes, the pleasure the pain throwing you into the abyss.

You couldn't tell you were going to cum, the moans and scream taking all your vocal chords, you just came in a broken scream. Your pussy twitched like a boa constrictor with its prey, and Todoroki sank his nails into your skin to strong at the sensation and gritted his teeth as hard as he could.

"Fucking hell!" He could no longer control himself, sinking as far as possible until he hit the entrance to your uterus once more and spewing out long, thick white jets of his sperm. Still wiggling his hips until he was sure you got everything, branded you.

Their quickened breaths filled the room awash with the scent of sex, lust and sin. Yours trembling hands crept up his toned male back and hugged them as Shoto collapsed into your chest, gulping air in a gallop as the weat hair rested on your collarbone.

“I'm sorry for being so rough” His voice was breathless but was genuinely regretful. "I did not want to hurt you."

You laughed through your nose. "You didn't hurt me, Sho."

He lifted his head enough to look at you, and lowered his gaze to your neck, chest, and arms. A deep pain crossed his heterochromatic eyes, and you noticed he flinched.

“I hurt you."

Todoroki pointed to the wardrobe mirror next door and you followed his gesture. Your reflection revealed deep purple finger marks on your hips, a sharp bite on shoulder, and furious hickeys that ran down your neck to breasts. Red nail marks painted your thighs and waist with possessiveness.

But what Shoto saw as hurt, you saw as the marks of a wonderful night.

He didn't expect you to smile at him. Shoto had the constant feeling that everyone close to him was destined to get hurt, but deliberately hurting you was an outrage.

“I'm so sorry and…”

But you interrupted his speech with a passionate kiss, tangling your fingers in his sweat-dampened hair and wiggling the hip that still had his cock buried in your smudged cunt from the both of you.

“Tonight,” you whispered against his lips, “was the best night of my life. Don't you dare apologize for that.”

“But I…”

"Sex marks are normal, my love" You reassured him "they don't hurt and to be honest I kind of like it."

Shoto eyed you suspiciously. “Are you sure, Y/n? You shouldn't like that.”

You laughed again, kissing him and running your hands down his strong shoulders and muscular arms.

"You'll get used to the brands, next time you'll see that it really doesn't hurt"

Something lit up in those deep blue and black eyes, adding a gorgeous glow that you found yourself melting inside.

“Will there be a next time?" His arms went around your back, gluing their bodies together.

"There will be several times to come, babe."

[caitimetravels]

she’s insignificant

chapter 1: we only see each other at weddings and funerals

the umbrella academy x (fem) reader

disclaimer: i do not own the plot/storyline of the netflix tv series and i do not own the umbrella academy characters. 

warnings: mentions of death (rip reggie), mentions of overdosing

masterlist

we start our story in a lonely house. it was never quite the normal childhood house for the family that occupied it but it was definitely more lively than it was at the moment. she missed that. the house felt too big, too quiet. 

most people get the chance to move out when they grow up and that’s what the children of this house did. they weren’t comfortable in this house. she thought it was unfair. she never got the chance to grow up. she was stuck, trapped in the stupid house she could barely call home. maybe she could have had a wonderful life. met a nice man or woman, started a family. 

he stripped that life from her. tore it out of her grasp and toyed with her again. she was so sick of this life, she wanted an escape. 

she hated him. so why? 

why wasn’t she happy he was gone?

--------------------------------------------------

october 1st, 1989.

on the 12th hour of this day 43 women around the world gave birth. this was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day began.

sir reginald hargreeves. eccentric billionaire and adventurer. he resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

he got eight of them.

number 1 “luther”

the abnormally buff man steps out onto the moon, bouncing along to put his trash in the pile made before. he stares out at earth with a sad look. a beep on his arm breaks him out of his thoughts. he flips the material off his wrist, taking a look at the transmission sent to him.

number 2 “diego”

a masked man hurls the attacker into the wall, taking him out. he steps around the corner to help a scared family. “you’re family’s safe now” he goes to walk away, pausing at the tv. the news plays in front of him, stopping him short.

number 3 “allison”

a beautiful woman with curly highlighted hair steps onto the red carpet in an equally stunning red dress. she smiles and poses for the many cameras pointed her way. several reporters call out her name. it is then that one is whispered something. suddenly the questions change, they become more personal, asking about her father. a woman walks out and whispers something into her ear. her expression changes and they quickly walk away.

number 4 “klaus”

a man with short messy black hair jumps off a bed, saying his goodbyes to several other men in the room. he collects his things from a man through a window. he’s chucked a coin and he smiles giddily, looking rather happy to be out. immediately he goes back to buy drugs, consequently overdosing. he wakes up in an ambulance having been resuscitated. he notices the news, frowning.

number 7 “vanya”

the violinist beautifully playing to the empty theatre stops, taking deep breaths to calm herself down. she leaves, wandering down the street when she notices the news on a tv showing through the window. she whispers one word to herself, in disbelief. 

“dad..”

number 8 “y/n”

the h/c haired girl sat in an all too large library reading an anton chekhov play. she looks up at a small knock on the door. a chimpanzee dressed in a suit stands solemnly in the doorway. she raises and eyebrow, confused by his behaviour. he speaks softly, informing the girl of what her siblings were currently learning all over the city.

“oh..”

--------------------------------------------------

number eight. the demon. 

the same h/c girl stands in a line with her 7 other siblings. a younger vanya is asked to leave. they all avoid looking at her. she was different.. at least that’s what their father told them. eight didn’t understand it. she was different too and no one asked her to leave. 

as usual eight is pulled away from her siblings as they train together. she is taken to a separate room, one built for her. it’s plain and white, much like a cell in a mental asylum.. or at least what she imagined a mental asylum to look like from what she had read in stories.

she hates this room but she hides her emotions just like her father taught her to. 

“don’t let them control you, number eight” he scolded, “you should be in control”

--------------------------------------------------

the doors to the academy are slowly pushed open. vanya steps into the house, taking in how big the house was. it had been around 13 years since she’d been here. she took small steps through the large room, looking up at the chandelier. she turned towards the parlour where her mother sat by the fire. 

“hey mom” she called out softly. she received no answer. 

“she probably won’t answer” a new voice called out and vanya stepped further into the parlour to see her h/c haired sibling. she sat atop the bar, reading a book and not sparing her a glance. “she’s been lonely ever since you all left.. gone a bit weird i guess” 

vanya’s mouth fell open. how was she the same age? y/n hadn’t aged a day since they left. she was still in her 16 year old body. at her sister’s silence the h/c finally looked up.

“what?” she raised an eyebrow, “you look like you’ve seen a ghost” 

“vanya?” a voice sounded out from the stairs. the brown haired woman turned now spotting their other sister, allison. “you’re actually here..” she huffed, surprised but not at all disappointed.

“hey allison” vanya greeted carefully.

“hey sis” allison’s voice was soft as she walked over, offering a hug. their moment was ruined by diego.

“hah” he scoffed, “what is she doing here? you don’t belong here. not after what you did” he didn’t even look over at them, making his way towards the stairs.

“you’re seriously going to do this today?” allison asked in disbelief but diego only ignored her. “hmph, way to dress for the occasion by the way”

“at least i’m wearing black” he shot back, disappearing up the staircase.

“don’t mind him” the two girls turned towards y/n who now had her book tucked under her arm. “he’s just grumpy he had to come back”

“you know what.. no, um.. maybe he’s right” vanya shook her head, ready to leave. “i shouldn’t-”

“forget it” y/n stopped her, “he doesn’t matter.. i’m glad you came, all of you. even if you don’t want to be here.. i- i want you here” 

“i’m glad you’re here too” allison nodded, agreeing. y/n gave them a soft, small smile before moving away. the two older women shared a look as she disappeared. she had been lonely..

--------------------------------------------------

vanya stood near the bookcases, looking over the old umbrella academy comic books and articles. she looked through the books until she came across her own. gently pulling it from the shelf she eyed it over, hopeful. there were creases in the fold. she opened the cover, revealing her note to her father. 

pogo interrupted her, clearing his throat. she smiled, crossing the room to embrace him. he noticed the book she was holding.

“do you know um.. did he ever read it?” she seemed unsure, not wanting to know the answer she expected. slowly, pogo sighed,

“not that i’m aware of” he shook his head, “i’m afraid those creases are from ms y/n. she loved reading it when you first released it”

they both glanced over at the painting of number five. 

“how long has it been since five disappeared?” vanya asked, 

“it’s been 16 years-” pogo was interrupted.

“4 months and 14 days” they both turned to see y/n entering. she either didn’t notice or ignored their stares, moving across the room to grab a new book. 

“did you.. did you ever find him?” vanya breathed, waiting in suspense for the answer. y/n finally looked at them now, pausing. she had always told her father that she didn’t, that she couldn’t but maybe just maybe she did.

“..yeah”

[milliedazzledust]

In Loving Memory (Bucky Barnes imagine)

Request: @missroro the reader is steve twin and she married to bucky after the blip, she had enough of the 'new captain america' thing shes really mad, so when walker and his friend start talking about joining forces she snap like she pull out a gun and pointing right at them, also sam ofc dont forget about sam. Sam trying to stop her while bucky "nah let her do her fun"

Words: 2021

Warning: !!TFATWS SPOILER!! without context - violence

A/N: wrote this today, it basically follows the events of ep3 of fatws but without context. I have a couple of exams this week so I won't be able to post until next saturday. Until then, enjoy

"You shouldn’t have gave him the shield"

Sam frowned, turning back to look at Bucky.

"I didn’t gave him the shield" He defended himself, making a point.

"Well, Steve definitely didn’t" Y/N ironically answered back.

He gave her a pointed stare. They had had this conversation countless times and Y/N never missed a chance to remind him of what she thought was a huge mistake.

"You are the reason this is happening, Sam. You chose to take on my brother’s legacy and threw it out the window"

The man didn’t reply and pursed his lips. He knew she didn’t mean any of her harsh words, she was angry and still mourning. If taking it out on him could make her feel better, he would let her.

"Y/N, stop" Bucky took a step toward his wife, clasping her hand in his metal one. He had hoped the physical contact would be enough to calm her down.

"He abandoned me, Sam" She continued, her voice filled with emotions. "He was gone and all I had left was memories. I chose this life for him, I fought with him, I believed in everything he represented. I looked up to him, to Captain America. And today, even those memories are gone, taken by the same government you and I were up against, mocked by clowns pretending to be heroes, all because you gave up"

The Falcon closed his eyes and dropped his head. She couldn’t see his point of view, or share his opinions when her judgment was clouded by so much pain. He wished she could understand the dilemma, the duality that represented the shield for him.

"Y/N, please, that’s enough" Bucky whispered next to her ear.

She turned her head toward him and as usual, his heart broke when he saw the torment in her eyes. She didn’t need to speak, she was an open book to him. They both had lost so much and yet were all each other had left. They were collateral damage, their own team against a world that wasn’t theirs anymore. She silently nodded, assuring him she was fine. Sam watched Bucky kissing her forehead and he furrowed his brow. He would never admit it but he was glad they had each other, because no one could carry that much pain alone without crumbling apart.

Before any of them could add anything, soldiers in blue and red erupted in the room, bursting through the door of the apartment where they were hiding in Latvia. Bucky instinctively grabbed Y/N and forced her body to move behind his. The two man stood in front of them, tall and proud, a smug smile on their lips.

"Alright, that’s it, your time is up" The man calling himself Captain America announced, the shield in one hand, the other pointing at the three avengers. "Tell me where Zemo is"

"We know you’re hiding him" His sidekick added.

"I’m ordering you to turn him over"

Sam eyed them up and down.

"Let’s be clear, the only thing you’re running here is your mouth" The Falcon firmly replied, crossing his arms.

"I gave you a chance to work with us" He mentioned.

" ‘For us’ is the correct way to put it, tough guy. And we said no." Y/N reminded him, her face showing how much she was annoyed.

"You’re obviously in over your head so I suggest you turn back and go" Sam argued.

"You really want this conversation to go there ?" The hero threatened.

Bucky straightened up when he felt Y/N tensing. He knew she was already on the verge of snapping. One wrong word from the man she hated and this could go down to hell.

"Should I put down the shield ?" He continued to challenge Sam. "Make it fair?"

The woman groaned and when John Walker dropped his weapon, without a second thought, she grabbed the nearest knife and threw it right at his face. The man had barely enough time to move back and his eyes rose in surprise when the blade stuck itself into the wall with force.

"Sorry, it slipped" She ironically explained, shrugging.

"You don’t want to play this game with me" He tried to intimidate her, tilting his head to the side.

She smiled, pleased he was giving her the opportunity to smack his face. Bucky clenched his fists when he saw her walking in front of Walker. Without tearing her eyes away from his, she seized her knife and pulled it out of the wall with a sharp movement.

"I think someone should teach you a lesson, Walker" She told him in a low tone.

"Are you offering ?" He challenged her.

"Don’t tempt me"

"You’re lucky you’re his sister" He grinned. "But don’t push it. This Captain America is not as lenient as the previous was"

Bucky swore under his breath. It was too late now. And just as Sam looked at him with concern, Y/N threw her fist in a curved punch at the soldier. He used his forearm to counter the blow, but she was faster and had far more experience. Using the momentum, her foot rose up and kicked him in the face. The man was thrown back, shaking his head in confusion.

"We should do something" Sam advised the former assassin.

"No. Let her have her fun" He crossed his arms, harboring a small smirk.

The soldier tried to hit her back, but even when he took the shield she blocked his attack. His sidekick soon joined the fight and distracted her for a second, just enough time for Walker to punch her. Immediately, she felt the taste of blood in her mouth, but no pain. She was passed that, far too pissed to feel anything.

Another blow on her chest send her to the ground and Hoskins hold her down while his friend was about to hit her with her brother’s shield. He raised it in the air, with every intention of beating her, but a strong metal hand stopped him in his movement. A very infuriated Bucky stood before him, his blue eyes darkening with anger. He firmly took the weapon, knocked Hoskins out with it and threw it across the room.

"If you wanted to make it fair, you shouldn’t have chosen to hit my wife" His tone was terrifying.

Walker didn’t seem as confident anymore. Bucky looked imposing, brute force ready to strike. His metal arm clenched in a fist and, without warning, it collided with the soldier’s jaw, sending him a few feet away. He strode to the man on the ground and grabbed him by the collar of his uniform

"This is all easy for you, isn’t it ?" Walker spoke with venom, staring at Bucky. "All that serum running through your veins"

With a swift movement, Y/N took the shield and launched it with power right on the soldier’s chest. The blow was so violent his body crashed into a door before landing on the floor. She was furious by his statement and he could see it with every step she made toward him. She grabbed the gun attached to her thigh and pointed it at his face.

"Lesson number one: learn when to shut up. Especially when you don't know what you're talking about" She was fuming but had not intention on killing the man, despite the sheer desire to do so.

She didn’t realize Sam was next to her until she saw his hand lowering her gun.

"This isn’t what Steve would want." He calmly expressed. "Remember, there’s always another way"

Her lips quivered and she closed her eyes, remembering how many times her brother had told her that. She let him take the weapon and looked up at him. The conviction and kindness in his stare were enough. He didn’t have to say anything. Every words she needed to hear, he spoke them in silence.

She turned back to Bucky and he cupped her face, inspecting the bruise on her skin. He seemed ready to go back and beat the man down. Y/N softly smiled and clasped her hands around his wrists. He stroke her cheek and pulled her toward him before carefully kissing her lips.

"Good ?" He asked in a soft voice he only used with her.

"Good"

It was something between them, a single word they spoke every time they fought. Wherever they were, whomever they were up against, if one of them asked, the other had to answer. It was their intimate way to always know they were alright.

Later that day, Sam and Bucky had decided to go talk to the leader of the Flag Smasher, Karli Morgenthau, while Y/N had been charged to follow Walker and Hoskins. As soon as she had seen they were going after the young super soldier, she had warned her friends about the danger. She knew enough about the new Captain to guess he had no intention on arresting Karli. He wanted to make justice himself. She pitied his sidekick. He seemed like a decent man with good ideas struggling to find virtue on the wrong side of the battle. He was Walker’s collateral damage.

She wondered what Steve would think of all that if he could see them fighting both super soldiers and Captain America. He never cared for the star and stripes, never used his shield to harm. His heart was with the people he defended. Even when it had been against Tony, he pursued what he believed was best. Was that what Walker was trying to do ? She couldn’t know. But she was sure of one thing, the man had nothing in common with Steve. Pride, ego and selfishness were never traits anyone would have used to describe her brother. She couldn’t bear for him to be replaced, especially to a man that didn’t share his morals or any of his opinions. The shield he was carrying wasn’t just a weapon, it was her brother’s symbol of hope, a symbol he had fought so hard to forge. The man made the uniform, not the other way around. That’s what Walker didn’t get. Up until that point, people had not been following Captain America, they had been following Steve Rogers.

Standing in that public square, she didn’t realize she was crying until she felt Bucky entwined his fingers with hers. She couldn’t avert her eyes from the horrific scenery. Powerlessly, she watched a man she didn’t know being executed. His opponent was merciless, striking with determination and rage, using the only piece of memory she had left of her brother to bring terror and death. Frozen on the spot in the middle of the crowd, she could see the fear in all those strangers eyes and it felt like grief coming in waves, a shard in her guts that would never leave. It felt like this particular moment was choking the breath out of her body, short circuiting her mind. What was whole once completely shattered and she couldn’t find the strength to be angry anymore. All her brother had built had fallen apart in the split of a second and all the world had left was a bloodied image of his symbol of hope. A symbol that was no more.

“Sam...” She called him, almost like a scared child.

“I know...”

Both men looked worried. Y/N felt Bucky’s hand trembling and she squeezed him harder. She could easily guess how he felt. Steve had saved both of them, he had gave them a purpose, had allowed the former assassin to be more than the weapon Hydra had made of him. Pieces by pieces, he had brought their family back together. And as they both stood there, witnessing the horrifying end of his legacy, Bucky realized everything his bestfriend had fought for was turning into dust.

"I’m sorry" Y/N whispered to Sam. "But there’s no other way now"

Her husband dropped his head, trying to regain a sense of control over his emotions. Wordlessly agreeing with her, he turned to their friend.

“He has to be stopped”

Tags: @taina-eny

[sweatygrealish]

just a dream (jack grealish x reader)

word count: 1612

warnings: bit angsty. 

sorry for any mistakes, I finished this along with a bottle of wine :)

*

He was sitting opposite you in the living-room, nervously fumbling with the hem of his t-shirt. It was an absolutely odd thing for him to do, and it worried you.

“I need to tell you something,” he began, not being able to look you in the eye. You needed him to say it, as soon as possible, so the emotion that was nearly choking you to unconsciousness could finally break free from your throat.

“What is it, Jack?” You demanded to know, your voice thick with impatience and fear. It was nearly unbearable.

“I slept with someone else.”

There it was. What had been hovering above your relationship for quite a few weeks now was out. It sat there, comfortably, between you and your long term boyfriend of five years, staring at you with a dead serious, almost threatening stare.

“So you don’t love me anymore.” You stated a fact. It wasn’t a question, nor an assumption, just a simple fucking fact.

Jack’s face lost all its colour. His open mouth closed and opened again, you could see him swallow hardly, his Adams apple bobbing up and down.

“Of course I love you, baby. That hasn’t changed, I-“ he tried to continue but you cut him off.

“No, Jack. You don’t. You don’t do something like this to someone you love.” You rose from your seat, noticing how weird your body felt, how much every fibre of your soul was hurting. Almost, your knees gave in, gave up carrying your body’s weight, the weight of your pain. Jack stood up with you, reaching out for your hands, but you were quick to withdraw them.

You walked a few steps back to the living-room door which led to the hall. With trembling hands you got a hold of the baseball bat which you always kept hidden behind the curtain, in case of a burglary when Jack was away. Jack watched with wide, incredulous eyes when you lunged out, aiming for the way too big and expensive TV he always spent too much time in front of anyway.

Shooting Jack one last glance,

you woke up.

Lying on your back, your pyjama and the bed sheets were clinging to your sweaty skin. You could literally see your heartbeat hammering through your chest so furiously it nearly hurt.

You were hurt. Hurt by the man sleeping soundly next to you with his warm hand resting on your belly. His mouth hung slightly open and his eyelashes fluttered delicately with the subtle movements of his eyes beneath closed lids.

6:32 am.

You gulped painfully. Your mouth was dry.

Carefully not to wake your boyfriend, you sneaked out of bed and grabbed a cardigan from the chair next to your dresser, tiptoeing out of the room. You knew Jack’s alarm clock would go off at eight, that gave you 90 minutes to pull yourself together. Of course you didn’t want to let a stupid dream ruin your day.

Upon going downstairs, you couldn’t ignore the urge to check the living-room in order to see if the TV was okay. It was fine. Everything was fine. You kept repeating the sentence inside your head like a mantra before brewing yourself a cup of tea.

Jack opened his eyes just two minutes before his alarm would wake him up. He grumbled something before discovering your empty, cold half of the bed. He sat up and frowned- you were usually up before him but most of the time, especially on a Saturday, he would wake up to you reading a book or checking your phone.

His gruff morning voice called out your name but no response came. Jack sighed and shuffled into the bathroom to get ready, hoping to find you downstairs when he was finished.

He did. You were in the middle of making breakfast, the heavenly smell of eggs wafted through the hall when he entered the kitchen, smiling.

“G’mornin’ love.”

“Good morning,” you half smiled, letting him pull you into his side.

“You’re up early,” he pointed out as he gratefully accepted a cup of tea from you, adding, “didn’t sleep well?”

He really knew you like the back of his hand. There wasn’t a chance you could hide something from him.

“Just woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep.” You couldn’t look at him any more, afraid to give away too many of your thoughts. Worrying him about something like a stupid nightmare wasn’t something you were keen on doing right before an important training session of his.

You noticed he wasn’t satisfied with your answer, so you quickly handed him a plate with eggs on toast before he could ask any further questions.

“Thanks, you’re the best,” he smiled before his soft lips brushed your cheek.

During breakfast you had the strange feeling he was eyeing you very carefully. You hardly looked up from your plate to avoid any awkward moments or questions. For the first time in years, you just wanted him to leave for training so you could manage sorting your thoughts and emotions. You weren’t able to do that when he was staring at you from across the dining table, probably wondering what the fuck was wrong with you.

He knew something was definitely wrong. He wasn’t stupid. Maybe he was lacking intelligence as in cognition and logic, conversely his emotional intelligence was impressively high. So when it was time for him to go, your pulse quickened inevitably once again.

“You sure you’re okay?” Jack searched your face for any kind of hint, a blink of an eye, a frown, a wrinkle. But you kept it under control, nodding and just swallowing everything instead of spitting it out. You were sure it would all go away eventually before he came home in the afternoon.

“Alright. See you later. Miss you already.” He pecked your lips, mouth lingering a little too long for such an innocent kiss, and briefly tapped your nose with his index finger.

“Yeah, enjoy training.” Your reply was half-hearted and both of you were aware. Jack smiled awkwardly and approached the door, unsure weather to assure himself once more that, apparently, nothing was wrong. He decided against it, waving one last time, before shutting the door behind him.

Training was tough. Jack checked the time unusually often along with his phone for a message from you. A life sign, any sign to soothe his nerves. But- nothing. It was just agonizing- being absolutely sure that something wasn’t quite right but being absolutely clueless about what it could be.

He couldn’t run as fast as he wanted, couldn’t kick the ball as hard as he wanted, couldn’t mess around with his team mates.

All he wanted was get home to you, engulf you in his arms for the entire night and stroke your hair.

Finally it was time to go home. Jack was annoyed that he had to run some errands before eventually getting home, time that separated him from you furthermore. Stupid errands like stopping for gas and picking up his suit from the dry cleaners.

His pulse was racing unusually fast at parking the car in the driveway. Because he didn’t know what to expect, a feeling of insecurity was spreading in his chest.

Jack opened the front door and found the house practically silent, and for a split second he wondered if you were even there. After having closed the door he was able to make out a sound from the kitchen that could’ve been music from the distance. In search of the source, he strode through the rooms until he reached the back garden. He spotted you huddled up in a blanket with a glass of wine in hand, staring into the distance.

“Hey.”

Your head turned towards him with a weak smile.

“Hey.”

“Can I join you?”

You simply nodded, making some space for him on the lounger. For a moment, you just sat there in silence.

“I’m sorry,” you suddenly said, nearly whispered.

Jack looked at you, his eyes full of worry.

“I’m sorry for being so distant today. It wasn’t fair on you. I’ve had a nightmare last night. You told me that you’d slept with someone else.”

Your words were lingering in the air like puffed out cigarette smoke. Jack didn’t know what to do, all the things he wanted to say weren’t coming together into a proper sentence. So instead, he wrapped both his arms tightly around you and pulled you into him.

It was the best reaction to your “confession” you could’ve wished for. Sometimes, silence indeed spoke louder than words.

“You know I’d never do that to you. Don’t you?” Jack whispered after a while.

A single tear rolled down your cheek, landing on his hand, “I know.”

You were still looking straight ahead, feeling his burning gaze on your face, not yet able to face him fully.

“Nightmares suck,” Jack muttered against your temple, his thumb stroking circles on the back of your hand, “everything’s alright, love. I’m here for you.”

In that moment, you were so thankful for him, so so thankful. You broke free from his grasp slightly to look into his hopeful eyes. There was a sparkle in them, along with one particular emotion, so visible it was impossible to miss.

Love.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you this morning. I felt stupid.”

Jack’s big, strong hands framed your face as he knocked his forehead against yours.

“It’s fine.” As soon as the words had left his lips, he kissed you tenderly, gently sucking your bottom lip. Without hesitation you kissed him back, sighing deeply in happiness.

You really were so lucky to have him.

[arianaagreyy]

I Love You || James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Words: 2096 words

Warning: Fluff, Insecurity, Emotional talk, Panic attack

___________________________________________________________

Y/N was the talk of Hogwarts. Intelligent, Sarcastic, Funny, Athletic but most of all, beautiful inside and out. The kindest soul to walk the grounds of Hogwarts. Kind to the Slytherins that bullied her, kind to the children who adored her.

It was no secret that James Potter was absolutely head over heels in love with his amazing girlfriend. Both of them were the ideal couple. Quidditch players, smart students, attractive looks. Girls envied Y/N whereas boys envied James and he liked showing you off as well.

But despite being loved by boys and girls alike, Y/N always had trouble fitting in. The day she transferred from Durmstrang to Hogwarts, she was terrified of how she'll fit in. She was on the verge of a panic attack when a red-head girl had so kindly offered her a hand to show around the castle, thus starting the friendship between Lily Evans and Y/N Y/L/N.

Now, with her friends, Y/N, Lily, Marlene and Dorcas entered the Potions classroom, tired because of laughing so hard from all the way from the Gryffindor dormitory to the Dungeons.

"Welcome ladies. So very kind of you to grace us with your presence", Professor Slughorn's voice seized their noise of laughter. Slughorn had a very sour expression on his face whereas two rows away, James Potter was looking at his girlfriend in awe.

The way her deep blue eyes were glistening in the light and shiny from laughing so hard, the way her lips formed the most beautiful smile James had ever seen in his life, the way her Y/H/C hair framed her perfectly carved face. He was so in love with her.

His thoughts were interrupted by a paper plane hitting the back of his head and falling on the table. He lifted the paper to open it.

Whipped. -Signed Moony, Padfoot and Wormtail.

He turned back to see the three boys trying to muffle the sound of their laughter by putting their hands on their mouths. James rolled his eyes and mouthed "Fuck off".

"We're sorry Professor. It won't happen again", her beautiful voice spoke. James looked around the class to see the boys looking at her with such admiration, It made him want to hex them all into the next century. Only he could see his Y/N with those eyes.

At the same time, James looked back at her just to see she was looking back at him with a smile so warm, it almost melted him.

"It shouldn't happen again. Now get inside. We already lost a lot of time", Slughorn rushed the girls into the class. All of them took their places next to their respective partners, Y/N being paired with Lucius Malfoy whereas James was stuck with Snape who, once in a while looked at him, rolled his eyes and went back to doing what he previously was.

James glanced over Y/N's direction to see Lucius Malfoy laughing silently on something Y/N said, a smile on her face as well. She was too good to people, even if they were undeserving of her kindness.

As time went by, James started getting more aware of the laughing noises coming from where his girlfriend was sitting. There were many thoughts running through his mind.

What if she thinks I'm not good enough.

What if she's not happy with me.

They both look so happy.

She has the ability to see the goodness in even the darkest of souls.

What if I'm not enough for her.

Consumed by his thoughts, he was at the verge of a panic attack when Professor Slughorn announced that the class was dismissed. James quickly picked up his books in one hand, slung his bag over his shoulder and bolted out of the classroom, not even sparing a glance towards Y/N, who was looking at James with concerned eyes.

Y/N sensed something was wrong so she very politely excused herself from Lucius, packed her stuff and ran off to the direction James did.

They had been together for nearly a year now but neither of them had told the other that they were completely and utterly in love with them. Y/N decided to tell him today. Now.

She had been building up her confidence to say this to him for a while now and that's what she was discussing with the girls earlier in the day until Marlene had changed the topic into something too hilarious.

She climbed the stairs that led to the Gryffindor Common Room, hoping she would find James there. She entered the Common Room to hear the sound of heavy breathing alongside muffled sobs coming from the boys' dormitory.

A lump formed in her throat as she slowly made her way towards the source of the sound. She opened the Marauders' room to find James sitting in a corner of the room with his knees scrunched up to his stomach, elbows on his knees and hands in his hair. He was shaking violently from the pressure of his sobs.

Y/N stood there trying to absorb the situation. Her strong, smart, funny boyfriend was sitting in a secluded corner of a room crying because of God knows what.

She slowly took steps towards him and fell on her knees in front of him. He somehow felt her presence as he stopped shaking and tried wiping away his tears but Y/N stopped his hand from reaching his face.

"You should be in class Y/N", he said, his voice raspy from crying so badly. Y/N's heart broke at the sight in front of her. He didn't lift up his head as he talked to her.

"And you should be dropping me to class", she spoke in a calming voice, trying to soothe him. Whenever she talked in this manner, James' nerves always calmed down but somehow this time, they only grew. His breathing started getting heavy again but he refused to look in her direction.

He knew he was over-thinking. He also talked to girls but Y/N never reacted in this way whereas when Y/N talked to any guy, he would start feeling this indescribable feeling to break that guy's face.

Y/N detected his heavy breathing and placed her hand on his bicep. James felt her soothing touch and his breathing returned to normal. Y/N then placed her hand on his already messy hair and started massaging his head, something she knew James liked.

He looked up to see her eyes full of concern and tears at the brims of them. As soon as Y/N looked into his eyes, a tear escaped her eye. His hazel eyes didn't have that mischievous glint in them; they had a broken look in them, like he lost something very dear to him.

James' hand was quick to wipe away the tear that left Y/N's eye. She looked so concerned for him. Just for him.

"James what's wrong?" she asked, her voice so calm, so enchanting.

"Is everything ok? Are Mia and Monty ok? Did something happened to Sirius? Are you hurt?" she bombarded him with concerning questions.

He shook his head as an indication that nothing of that sort happened. Her eyebrows furrowed as she spoke in a low voice:

"Did I do something wrong? I messed up. Didn't I?"

James quickly stood up on his feet, ears ringing from anger. How could she think that she did something to sadden him. She's perfect in every way. A perfect friend, a perfect girlfriend, a perfect daughter.

Y/N also stood up quickly, her hand falling from James' head.

"HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT?" he practically screamed at her.

"HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT YOU DID SOMETHING THAT COULD EVER SADDEN ME?"

By now he had lost all his senses. Nothing mattered more to him that his Y/N. His.

"You're the reason I smile everyday. You are the reason I wake up everyday. Just to look at you. You bring joy in my life, happiness that I never knew existed. Everything you do is so bloody perfect. You are so perfect", he spoke in a hushed voice but loud enough for Y/N to hear.

"And I can't even begin to thank you for all that you've done to me, for me. But me? What did I do to you besides showing you public affection? I never talked to you in class. I didn't buy gifts for you. I didn't stand up for you in class. I don't deserve you", he spoke, his eyes no longer connected to Y/N's.

She looked at the boy standing in front of him. That confident, arrogant toe-rag who looked so vulnerable right now.

"I see how the other boys look at you. With such admiration in their eyes. Whenever I find them staring at you, it just makes me feel as if I'm not good enough for you. I'll never be able to-"

He was cut off by Y/N throwing a pillow at his face. He finally looked up to see her face stained with tears, similar as his. Her eyes weren't glistening with happiness, they were glistening with sadness. Sadness that he could think he's not good enough for her.

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?" It was her turn to scream now.

"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME", she shouted, tears falling from her eyes.

James was staring at Y/N with wide eyes. She was such a calm-spoken person and hearing her shout was new. But some part of him calmed down hearing her defend him.

"James, none of those boys were there for me when I needed help, none of them comforted me after my nightmares, none of them helped me catch up to my studies, none of them defended me from bullies. It was you. It was you all along", she said in a calm voice yet tears were still silently flowing from her eyes.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me James Potter. I don't care how those boys look at me. I care about how YOU look at me. You make me strong Potter. You make me happy", she said with a smile. I teary smile made its way to James' face as well.

"And I have absolutely no idea why you're so insecure about yourself because-", she stopped and took a deep breath.

"Because I love you James Potter. And even if I have to remind you that, I'll do it every single day, I will. Because I'll go any lengths just to be with you", she ended with a sniff.

James stood frozen, staring at her. Looking into her eyes.

Love.

He saw love in her eyes. Love for him. Not Lucius, not anybody. Him.

Before he knew it, he was taking fast steps towards her and slammed his lips to hers. This felt right. It felt as though they were home. In each other's arms. A comfortable warmth spread through their bodies as they held each other close with an intention of never letting go. Y/N was his drug and he gladly surrendered to her.

They broke apart with a smile etched on both of their faces.

"I love you Y/N. I love you more than myself", he said, sincerity in his voice.

"I know. I'm just too irresistible", she said, flipping her hair off her shoulder and looking at James with a smile that he wished he he could see everyday.

James pulled her into a comfortable embrace. Her hands rested on his neck and his on her waist, pulling her close. He dug his face into the crook of her neck.

"I'm never letting you go Mrs. Potter", his voice came out muffled. She let out a small chuckle which made blood rise to James' cheeks.

Suddenly, she pulled apart and looked at him with a glint in her eyes that meant trouble.

"Did you get jealous because I was talking to Lucius earlier?", she asked with a raised eyebrow. James didn't reply, just looked down, his face getting redder. she let out a laugh.

"Oh my god. I absolutely have to tell Pads and Moony you got jealous of Lucius", she shouted as she darted towards the exit, looking at James one more time before winking at him and left.

Too surprised to do anything, he let out a laugh of his own. A laugh of happiness, a laugh of love.

[aminiatureworld]

Enigmatic Feelings

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,544

Warnings: None

Premise: Love is a potent force. And sometimes little things take on larger meanings, especially when one party is unaware of them.

In which the reader’s s/o is jealous

Author’s Note: This trope is 100% my guilty pleasure. I hope I did it justice.

I also realized while writing this that all these characters have the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, but they’re trying their best, so that’s what counts.

Albedo

Albedo was many things. A great alchemist, a man of secrets, a weapon with which one might someday bring destruction. He was even a lover, albeit an unpracticed one. But what he was not was emotional. Or so he thought.

Of course Albedo knew what jealousy was, knew the sort of stupidity that people could fall into when altogether too infatuated with their own love. But just because one knows what jealousy is does not mean one must fall prey to such things. Or so Albedo assumed.

It was the fourth day in a row that a knight had approached your door. Friedrich was his name, and he was doing a stellar job at capturing your attention, and pulling on emotions that Albedo had long told himself he didn’t contain.

Today the flower was a Windwheel Aster, swaying this way and that in the pocket of space between your two hands. You were smiling at it, or rather at Friedrich, brightly, fingers mere moments away from Friedrich as you went to claim the fourth flower this week. Though the was nothing necessarily untoward in Friedrich’s movements, and Albedo would much rather a person of integrity be attempting to woo you, even if the idea itself turned knots in his stomach; nevertheless it still left a bad taste in the alchemist’s mouth, and a worry in his heart that he was not so immune to jealousy as he’d previous assumed.

“Thank you!” You spoke to Friedrich, giving one last wave before walking back over to Albedo. “Albedo look! It’s a Windwheel Aster. It’s very nice of Friedrich to give me one, maybe I can use it, or maybe it’ll be helpful for your experiments?”

“Yes, thank you. I, I think you should keep it.”

As much as Albedo wanted to take the flower and throw it in the incinerator, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter the smile on your face. No matter how dearly it cost him to see you smile down once more at the delicate red petals. And no matter how much it haunted him the rest of the day to imagine you, face framed by a smile, a bouquet of a random knight’s making in your hands.

That knight as Albedo put away the Bunsen burners and the graduated cylinders he kept his mind preoccupied by thoughts of you. Surely he had to tell you his feelings, for if not they would keep building in his chest; building and building until one day he erupted, with you in the line of fire rather than the knight who was creating this whole dilemma, perhaps even unwittingly. Though Albedo had never been in a relationship before he knew stories. Weren’t books full of those kinds of moments? Men, women, people, all of them running over one another in their misunderstanding, in their overwhelming guilt.

No, he wouldn’t turn out like that, wouldn’t let the two of you be hurt in such a way. He had to tell you. Had to make you understand how much his chest constricted when he saw you carrying the gifts of others, had to let it be known before he lost control of these emotions. After all, wasn’t that what happened with emotions? They grow and grow and one day they spill over. And Albedo never wanted these emotions to spill over. No matter the cost.

“May I tell you something?”

The sunlight was streaming through the laboratory windows, the air warm enough that Sucrose had tied up her hair during her shift. And yet Albedo felt cold, oh so cold. He was going to tell you today. He hadn’t been able to tell you three days ago, nor two days ago, nor yesterday. And now the bouquet of flowers that occupied a tiny glass on the windowsill felt quite large indeed. Today would be day eight if Friedrich showed up at lunchtime, and before that Albedo would tell you.

“Of course you can Albedo, I’m all ears!”

You turned around, a soft smile once more spreading across your face. Putting down the pencil you’d been holding you leaned back against the lab table. Albedo took in a deep breath. He could do this. He would do this. He had to do this. No matter what, today. Today, he would do this.

“I-I’m jealous.” The words hung in the air for a moment, as if not understood.

“Jealous?” You tilted your head slightly, worry making your smile slip. “Albedo, jealous of what?”

“Of Friedrich, of you and Friedrich, or rather, I mean, of Friedrich giving you flowers.” Albedo paused, words tangling in his mouth, tripping on each other in an attempt to be understood. What if this was a mistake.

“Albedo,” you shook you head softly, walking over to cup your partner’s face, “I promise that there’s nothing in it. The flowers are lovely, of course, but nothing in this world could replace or stem my love for you. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Albedo replied hurriedly, worried still that he might be misunderstood, “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, or say that I doubt you. My love, I will never doubt you. I just, I just feel so uncomfortable when he brings you flowers. It feels like, like I don’t know; it feels like I’m being poisoned, suddenly and all at once. And I don’t want it to affect the way I act towards you. So, so I wanted to tell you. You don’t have to stop, if those flowers make you happy then that’s what matters. But, but I just wanted to tell you.”

You said nothing, staring into Albedo’s eyes, gaze piercing through the alchemist. It was always that way with you. How you managed to destroy the control he thought he had, the wall he’d erected between himself and humanity. How you made him feel unsure and fallible and whole. And, just as before, now your gaze softened and you shook your head, your smile a balm for the raw unfamiliarity of putting together emotions.

“It’s okay Albedo, I’m glad you told me. Just like my emotions matter to you, I’d rather not see you unhappy. To be honest, I just never saw Friedrich’s actions in the way that he probably meant them. We all struggle with our feelings sometimes, I do just like you. Just as long as well tell each other, all will be well. Alright?”

“Yes. Thank you. I don’t know what I do without you.”

“Well you’ll never have to find out, so it doesn’t matter!”

There was no eighth flower that day, at least not one that was successfully given. Albedo supposed that he could pity Friedrich, but in reality he felt nothing but relief. The emotions that had left such a bad taste in his mouth seemed so far away now, for there was you, only you. It would only ever be you for him, and the days in which you said the same thing of him Albedo felt as if he could truly be happy, and truly acknowledge the emotions that swirled inside him, the love for you so great it spilled over into a vast ocean.

 Diluc

Diluc found most merchants loathsome, something perhaps not entirely fair considering his own status as a mover of goods.

Still, merchants in general were an unlikeable bunch. Prone to complacency and greed, this elite circle was comprised of people who thought of little than of ways to line their pockets anew. It disgusted Diluc and as he stood there, watching as a man who had enough jewelry on his body to weigh down a pack mule and a smile that made one want to run in the other direction, throw compliments and boasts your way, the winery owner was reminded about all that was wrong with the world in which he worked.

“So your goal is to attempt to find a route through which we might trade our wine in Inazuma?” You repeated the words the man had just spoken, expression skeptical. “As much as it would mean good business to begin another trade route, I believe the border restrictions will cause no little difficulty.”

“Restrictions such as those are nothing for a man like me.” The merchant smile once more and Diluc felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. “I have the ability to wave past such an issue. Indeed with the right price I believe I could expand your network to include all of the seven major lands, if you haven’t been trading internationally.”

“Thank you for your offer.” You replied, too focused on the work in front of you to notice the merchant’s roving sort of gaze. “I’ll see what Master Diluc has to say. However I warn you, as much as international exports are important for a growing trade, smuggling wine into locked countries will do little good. Especially considering what the damage could do to this winery’s reputation if such a thing was found out.”

“Don’t worry, I assure you my methods are completely secure. In fact, if you’d like to discuss it in more depth, I do believe that I may be able to enlighten you over a meal.”

“Perhaps, although Master Diluc would certainly have to be there.” You smiled slightly, and Diluc wondered for a moment if you were being purposefully oblivious or simply didn’t notice the meaning behind the merchant’s words.

“I will be back tomorrow, perhaps you’ll have an answer then?”

“I’m sure I will.” You replied, smiling as the two of you shook hands. As the merchant walked out of the winery your smile morphed into a sort of smirk and you looked up towards the balcony of the second floor.

“You can come out now Diluc, I know you’re there.”

Diluc couldn’t help but smile at those words, he truly couldn’t get anything past you. Hurrying down the stairs he swept you up in his arms, sighing slightly into your neck as you tightened the embrace.

“Ever so observant, my darling.”

“I know that you’d never let a transaction or a business conversation take place without your knowledge.” There was a playfulness to your voice, coming from the knowledge that you were utterly correct. “Still, you could’ve come downstairs you know. I don’t think that anyone would need to believe that you were going through your ‘very important paperwork, and lurking around is your night job.’”

“It seemed somehow wrong to suddenly appear in front of you two and derail the conversation.” Diluc drew away and placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, chuckling when you immediately wrinkled it. “Especially since you were doing so well on your own.”

“Oh he’s just like the rest of them,” you sighed, “altogether a bit too full of themselves.”

“Especially in this one’s case.” Diluc said, finally letting a scowl cross his face.

“What do you mean?”

The look on your face was one of innocence and confusion, and for a moment Diluc felt his thoughts stammer, as he realized that you truly were unaware of the way that the merchant was looking at you, unaware of the manner which caused Diluc even now to continue to press his hand gently against your lower back. If you didn’t notice it, then surely Diluc was overreacting, surely there was no reason for his heart to stutter and his stomach to drop. Surely there was no reason, and surely he shouldn’t tell you.

“Nothing at all, I just didn’t like his face.” He hurried now to reply, realizing how odd his pause must’ve seemed. “Will you be accepting his proposal for a business dinner?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose it couldn’t hurt. And then it might be a good venue for the two of you to talk. Since you find him especially ghastly, I think a more public meeting might be easier.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t think that invitation was meant for me.” Diluc replied, before realizing his gaffe and falling silent.

“What? What do you mean of course it’s meant for you. I mean you are the owner of the Winery. Who else would it be for?”

“For, for you my darling. Why else would he ask you in such a way?” Diluc tried to keep the acid out of his words. It wasn’t your fault after all. It wasn’t your fault that some louche was asking after you.

“But I’m not the one in charge.” You furrowed your brow. “I can’t make the final decision. And I won’t allow him to attempt to bypass getting your permission either.”

“My darling, I, I think he meant it a different way.”

“What way?”

Diluc sighed, capitulating quickly to his want to tell you. Even if it was perhaps selfish of him, he was never truly good at keeping his feelings masked away, at least in a way that didn’t result in him completely shutting down. And you meant to much to him than for Diluc to try and lie to you.

“You see, I think he was attempting to ask you on a more romantic sort of dinner.”

“What?”

Your reaction was immediate, your expression quickly turning into one of shock and then of disgust. Letting out a groan you buried your face into the front of Diluc’s coat, eliciting a short laugh from its owner.

“Why? I… I… Even if I weren’t in love with you I’d never go out to dinner with him.”

“I don’t think he would appreciate the sentiment.”

“Diluc.” You let out another groan, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of the thought. “Archons, ugh thank you for telling me. I, disgusting.”

Diluc said nothing, simply tightening the hold of his arms around you. Though your reaction was certainly justifiable he knew there was something more behind them, and he felt grateful for your consideration. Though he knew that would always have been your reaction, it didn’t stop the pressure that ha been building in his chest, the thoughts that screamed what if, what if, what if. What if there is something better than you.

“Hey, are you alright?” You voice drifted up through the fabric of Diluc coat. He smiled, relaxing his grasp around you and pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“I will be. May I hold you a little longer?”

“Of course. You’re the only one for me, you know.”

“And you for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Those words, though so small, were somehow enough.

 Xiao

The new guest at the inn had been speaking to you for quite some time. That was Xiao’s first observation. The second was that you didn’t seem to mind. The third was that for some reason he suddenly felt incredibly irritated.

It was a beautiful evening, the kind that would’ve normally had you and Xiao sitting on the roof together, fingers entwined, the silence of nature cushioning the two of your from the outside world. It was a ritual, something that Xiao had come to rely on, had come to almost sanctify. Yet here he was, sitting on one of the thicker branches of the trees that dotted the outside of the Inn, trying desperately to quench the anger that bloomed in his chest as he watched you and the guest talk the minutes away.

Perhaps the worst part was that you didn’t seem to mind. Instead of pulling the conversation towards a close, you seemed perfectly content to keep talking, smiling brightly and quickly answering the questions of this uninvited guest. Normally Xiao didn’t care about , or rather didn’t keep track of, the people you spoke to. Of course you would have friends, would have people that mattered to you. Just because Xiao had disconnected himself from humanity didn’t mean that you had to. So why was he so angry?

His patience ran out when the guest reached for your hand. Sidling next to you as fast as he could Xiao peeled off his invisibility, enjoying the shock that registered across the uninvited guest’s face as he moved his hand back. Reaching to entwine his hand with yours Xiao shifted his gaze towards your face. Shock was painted into your expression, but there was also something else, a glimmer of happiness or of satisfaction. Somehow it unnerved Xiao, and he focused instead on the task at hand, whatever that task was.

“It’s getting late.”

“Oh, of course.” Turning back to the guest you smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but perhaps we’ll speak again some other time?”

“Gladly!” The man’s face lit up, before Xiao’s glaring left him scampering down the steps.

“Xiao, is something wrong?” The question was so genuine, without any sense of knowing more than you let. Unfortunately the question was also unanswerable.

“It’s late. We should go.” Xiao gestured towards the roof, hoping the reminder would flush the question out of your head.

“You’re right, I suppose it is getting late. And we wouldn’t want to waste such a wonderful evening.” You smiled. And yet somehow Xiao felt unplacated. He was happy, wasn’t he? So why, why did the question hang in the air, and why did the discontent remain?

The next day was a lazy one, as Xiao waited for you to be done with work. More than usual he missed you, and he wished that the hours would go faster, so he might be able to once more enjoy your presence, to banish the discontent that he still felt, evening after an hour spent wholly in your company.

Eventually the sun made its descent from the heavens, and Xiao pulled himself once more to the perch on the tree he’d taken the night before. Gazing down at the balcony he saw the familiar figure of the unwanted guest, and a stab of anger flashed through him. This was made all the worse by your entrance, and the fact you once more stopped to make time for this intruder.

The man was just as insufferable as before, full of jokes that Xiao didn’t understand and words that though praising of you felt somewhat hollow, almost insulting. You laughed along to these jokes, smiled at these odd compliments. And when the man asked if you might be willing to talk more over some sort of meal you merely smiled.

Xiao, however, found the whole ordeal unbearable. Why should this person be asking all these things, be prying you with words of intimacy and familiarity. Had he not arrived yesterday? Was he not an utter stranger? Confusion mixed with irritation in Xiao’s head, and he found it difficult to hold on to the stony reason he’d built up. What was going on? What was this terrible feeling of anger and want? He couldn’t understand human ways. Less could he understand why they should have any sort of effect on him.

Still he had to do something. Had to do anything. Swooping down once more Xiao began the same charade. This time, however, the man merely jumped, and for all his glaring Xiao couldn’t dislodge the guest from his place on the balcony.

“It’s late.”

“Ah it is. Are you hungry?” He asked, addressing you once more.

“I’m not at all, but Xiao’s right. It is late. If you haven’t eaten yet then perhaps you should. Smiley Yanxiao is quite strict about his rest.”

“Ah, then perhaps you’re right. Still, why not join me? You can tell me your name, and we can talk a little more about the things you do.”

“You don’t even know their name.” Xiao spat out the sentence, barely able to contain the odd sort of irritation that still spun around him. He asked you all those questions, said all those words of praise, all without knowing your name. It felt somehow dehumanizing, somehow… wrong.

“I would be glad to learn it.” The man smiled.

Xiao simply shook his head. He needed to leave. It was becoming too much again, and the last thing Xiao wanted was for a stranger to see him this way, see him unsure and confused and not a little frightened of these alien emotions. Glaring at the man one more time Xiao scooped you up. Ignoring the surprised shriek that you let out he shot up into the sky, moving towards the familiar sanctuary of Jueyen Karst, deeply grateful that the guest, whatever he could do, could never fly.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” You asked, barely giving Xiao the time to set you down onto one of Liyue’s sloping peaks before asking him the one question he couldn’t answer.

“Nothing.”

“Well it’s certainly not nothing. You’re being awfully rude to that guest, and I can’t understand why. Usually you don’t really care about those sorts of things. So something must be wrong, and I want to know what it is.”

A pause.

“Please.”

“I can’t.” It was all Xiao could say, the only thing that would truly encompass the truth, because in truth he couldn’t. He himself didn’t understand it.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“My chest hurts.”

“What?” Immediately your face shifted into one of worry, and you placed a soft hand over Xiao’s heart. Somehow the gesture was calming, and Xiao closed his eyes, enjoying the receding of the hot bands that had just been restricting him.

“My chest hurt when I saw you with that, that guest. My chest hurt and I felt angry. That’s what’s wrong. My chest hurt, but now it doesn’t; and I don’t understand it.”

There was a pause, and Xiao studied the expressions on your face, watched as they shifted from worry to confusion to caution.

“Xiao, is it possible you were jealous?”

“No.” The idea was somehow insulting.

“It’s alright to be jealous Xiao. It just means you care about someone very much. You don’t have to just dismiss it like that. I want to make sure that you’re alright, so please be honest. Is it possible you were jealous?”

Xiao let another gap form in the conversation, trying to figure out how to answer. The suggestion felt demeaning, felt as if he somehow had no control over himself, no trust of you. And yet it somehow made sense, and even as he shook his head he found himself letting out a different answer.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay if you don’t. I know that new emotions can be frightening, can be difficult to deal with. But Xiao, I’ll always love you. It doesn’t matter who else I meet or what else happens in my life. I love you the way that a bird loves the sky. You’re a part of my life I could never lose. So even if this isn’t jealousy, even if I’m wrong, I still want to let you know. I love you.”

Xiao sighed, a smile finally gracing his lips, the pain in his chest finally melting away. What did he ever do to deserve such a person as you, he would never know. He wished he could repeat those words back to you word for word, wished that he could explain that his love for you was all encompassing, had seeped through the cracks of his existence and his life. He wished he could form together the words necessary to convey his love for you. Even if it was impossible he still wished it.

So instead he leaned over towards you. Letting out a gentle sigh he brought his lips to yours, reveling in the soft sensation of your mouth against his, reveling in the way you leaned against him, bringing you arm up to his neck, letting out a soft breath of contentment as the two of you disconnected.

You didn’t ask him anything else, and for the rest of the evening you two sat on the grass, watching the fireflies dance around you as you leaned against one another.

Perhaps Xiao didn’t yet understand the extent to which he loved you, the emotions that had now risen up, given life by the love you’d poured into the adeptus. Perhaps he didn’t understand this yet, but he knew that all would be well. For with you all that irritation seemed so far away, as if it belonged to a Xiao of yesterday. Because here and now you two were together, breathing in the same mutual contentment, the same mutual trust, the same mutual love. And that present was more important than any jealousy could be.

 Zhongli

Looking back on the matter Zhongli admitted that maybe pretending the problem didn’t exist was probably not the best solution.

It was only that you two had seemed so oddly content in talking, so, compatible, that Zhongli couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discontent, a tension that spread through his jaw and down to his stomach. He didn’t quite understand the nature of the emotion that now spread over him, but he did understand that it was connected to the bond that was now forming between you and the vendor in front of you.

“Dearest one.” He spoke softly, walking over to where you now stood.

“Oh, Zhongli!” Your face lit up as usual, and the ex-archon felt a piece of him uncoil. At least some things seemed to be unchanging, just as wonderful today as they had been the day before.

“I’ve been looking for you. I know you spoke of wanting to learn more about the nature of Cor Lapis, and the tea shop has been offering a new brew. Perhaps we could share a drink?”

“Oh that sounds lovely!” Turning around towards the vendor you smiled gently. “I’m sorry, I’ll have to try that lovely soup you were speaking of some other time.”

“Not at all!” The vendor’s smile was good natured, and Zhongli didn’t understand why he nevertheless felt a twinge of uncertainty. “I look forward to it. I hope you two have a nice day, and we’ll talk about it more later.”

Though the stall receded into the distance as the two of you turned the corner, Zhongli couldn’t help but let the moment run through his mind once more, finding it as sore to think about as a bruise might be to the touch.

“That vendor? Oh they’re new on the scene.” You smiled, taking a sip of tea.

The tea house was as calming as ever, the noises of the outside a distant song, and the hushed whispers inside adding to the intimate atmosphere. Zhongli normally loved to sit here, drinking cup after cup of tea, watching as the people came and went about their business, immersed in a small fragment of Liyue life. Now, however, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the vendor. If he closed his eyes he could still remember their face, and the way yours was lit up while they were talking to you.

“Their name is Eli.” You continued on, oblivious to the way Zhongli’s hand tightened around his teacup. “They said that they set up shop maybe… two weeks ago? It hasn’t been a very long time, and they’re still struggling a bit. I hope that they’ll be able to get their business off the ground, who knew that street food was such a cutthroat world.”

“The city of Liyue is full of people who might make their way in the world, doing whatever they can. Perhaps it is unsurprising that competition is second nature to Liyue’s citizens.” Zhongli replied, hoping his tone wasn’t too curt. If it was you didn’t seem to mind, nodding softly in agreement.

“Speaking of Liyue and stories, perhaps you would like to tell me the story you were going to tell? I very much doubt that Cor Lapis is the blood of Morax.”

“How humans love to spin their stories.” Zhongli chuckled.

But even as he began to speak of jewels and pressure and the minerals that lay deep beneath the earth a bit of him was still preoccupied by the vendor’s easy words and your smiling face.

The next time he ran into you with the vendor the pit in his stomach had only gotten heavier. Standing a little ways away he let the conversation between the two of you flow in and out his ear, frown slipping deeper the more he heard.

“I cannot believe that your stall nearly caught fire on your first day! How unlucky.”

“Even worse that I didn’t know who to try and tell about it. If I had known you were part of the Guild then I would’ve asked you.”

“Well next time there are troubles you can just send a message to the Adventurer’s Guild. We can’t have our citizens being injured on our watch.”

“You sound like true heroes. I wish I could do the sorts of things you did. Your commissions sound fascinating! I would love to see how you go about your day some time.”

“Really it’s nothing, most days it’s quite boring really, just like any other job. Still, it’s nice to know that people have an interest in what we do.”

“Oh certainly! I find what you do very interest– ”

“My dearest one!” Zhongli called out, unable to continue listening to the conversation, feeling somewhat guilty and certainly upset. You turned slightly, smile brightening as you saw your partner.

“Zhongli! So sorry that I didn’t meet you outside your office, I must’ve lost track of the time. Eli here was telling me all about their first days at work.”

“I’m sorry that I got out late. I hope that you did not have to wait awhile.”

“Oh not at all Zhongli, like I said I’ve just been standing here. You don’t need to feel bad at all!”

“I’m glad. Perhaps now we can go?”

Zhongli attempted to smile, but it felt a lot more like a grimace. You stared at him, face the picture of confusion. Taking a step forward you glanced one more time at Eli, shrugging apologetically. Before any more words could be passed between the two of you Zhongli grabbed onto your hand. Walking quite quickly he didn’t let go until the two of you were at your apartment and he could finally breathe again.

“Zhongli, what’s the matter with you?” You asked, closing the apartment door behind you. Walking back towards Zhongli, who stood there silently, you let your hands rest lightly on his shoulders. “You can tell me you know, I can tell you’re unhappy.”

“I have a confession.” Zhongli started, feeling somehow compelled to reveal his thoughts, as if keeping them locked away would only be dangerous.

“Yes?”

“I, I did not like the way that the vendor spoke to you.”

“Eli? But they were perfectly nice.”

“I do not mean that they were rude. They were perfectly cordial. I mean, when the two of you were speaking, I, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if there was a barrier between us in that moment. I, I did not like it.”

“Oh Zhongli.” You breathed out, an indulgent smile on your face.

Reaching up you planted fleeting kisses on the archon’s face, peppering his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, touch featherlight. It was a familiar gesture, one of comfort, one used in darker nights, when shadows dotted the periphery of Zhongli’s vision.

“Zhongli, I assume you know what jealousy is?”

“I know the term and what it means. I admit I am not personally familiar with the concept.”

“Well I am, so let me tell you. What you experienced, that was jealousy, plain and simple. I know it’s very uncomfortable. Jealousy can be such a messy feeling, it sticks everywhere. But it’s also normal. So you don’t need to worry. I promise that nothing will happen, and I promise that these feelings would go away. I also promise that I love you very much, so even if you feel these emotions, you don’t have to worry.”

“How could I ever worry about you?” Zhongli murmured, wrapping his arms around you, basking in your proximity.

The apology only came in the evening, after words and kisses and love had hung long enough in the air to dull the feelings that Zhongli had been carrying around. Now he lay there next to you, chin resting gently on your head, suddenly realizing that he’d most likely acted quite rudely.

“I’m sorry I ignored Eli.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand.” You murmured. “Though I’m not actually sure what got you riled up about them.”

“You are also a bit oblivious dearest one,” Zhongli let out a soft laugh, “it seems they were quite taken with you.”

“Were they?” You asked, tone betraying your surprise. You paused for a moment, as if trying to replay your interactions. “I never noticed. To be honest, I don’t think I could ever notice, not when I have you.”

“Thank you.” Zhongli whispered, oddly overcome by the confession.

As he lay awake, carding gentle fingers through your hair and listening to the even breaths of your sleeping form he pondered just how lucky he was. Precious gems might come from pressure and earth and chance. But you were more precious than all of them. And he’d never forget that.

[littlepadika]

Calling Home (5) | Frankie Morales x Reader

Summary: You are a receptionist at the VA. Frankie Morales keeps calling. Yearning ensues…

Rating: E (18+ only)

Warnings: age gap (legal), dilf!frankie, praise kink, voice kink, size kink, low self esteem, discussion of addiction/ptsd/trauma/triggers, divorce drama, no use of y/n, no beta reader, DDLG🎀, unprotected piv sex, oral m and oral f, hickies galore👅, mild BDSM (cuffs⛓, choking).

Masterlist here

AN: Whatta ride... but all things come to an end🥺. i'm blown away by the support for this fic. Thank you all 💕.

Chapter Five

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frankie had his own mental list of stuff he needed to do before you would arrive. He dunged out his closet to make room for your clothes. It was long overdue. He had a lot of things he didn’t wear anymore that needed to go. He went out and bought some more plates and silverware since his two plates and Rosie’s plastic plates would not do. He no longer looked around his home with a sense of loneliness, now he pictured all the places you could fit in. He could see you reading by the window in the living room so he bought a comfy new chair to put there. He noticed your small plant collection in your apartment and thought you’d maybe like a bigger one in the back yard so he bought a planter box.

He was reading your novel, titled Our Little Kingdom, while your candle burned. You didn't give it to him at first. While you were in the bathroom and Frankie washed your dishes, he noticed a stack of papers poking out in the trash. It was your manuscript. When you came back and saw him reading it you tried to take it back but Frankie insisted and you caved. It was good. Frankie wasn't just saying that because he loved you. He could see how great writers had influenced you and still it was uniquely your voice. The story, too, was compelling. He couldn't help but imagine you as the protagonist as she was just as sweet and clever.

You were making good progress on your list. You had put in your two weeks notice and started to applying to jobs in Miami. You enjoyed working with veterans so you hoped you could do something similar again. As two weeks went by you were disappointed you still hadn't heard back from job interviews. Packing was a little more difficult. You didn’t know what was worth taking and what was worth leaving. You knew Frankie had most everything already so it was a matter of picking your most special things. The rest you were slowing taking to Goodwill in batches.

You had completely forgotten you sent your book in to publishers until a flurry of emails came in on the same day.

Frankie woke up in the middle of the night to his phone ringing. He sat up pulling the phone towards him. It was you. Why would you be calling so late? Maybe something was wrong?

“Frankie?” You sounded congested. He heard a sniffle. Frankie furrowed his brow at that.

“Hey. Is everything all right?”

“ They-they-“ you could barely get it out “they rejected me.”

“Who?”

“All of them. All of the book agencies.” You threw yourself onto your bed, hot tears running down your face.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry, sweet pea.” Frankie didn’t know whether to be sad or angry. He thought your book was amazing. He sat up and flicked on the bedside lamp. “They’re idiots. Every one of them.”

“They’re experts, Frankie.” You felt more tears leak from your eyes. “Maybe I’m just not a good writer. Maybe-Maybe-" You hiccuped and low cry slipped from your mouth. You covered your mouth, taking in raking breaths. It was agony to admit this to him when he believed in you most. You felt like you had let him down. Frankie's heart literally ached in his chest as he listened to your quiet weeping over the phone. He waited for you to continue, feeling his own eyes grow misty.

“Don’t disappear on me, little pea. Let me hear that voice of yours.”

You were unable to speak. Scared of what may come out. You felt like your walls were closing in around you and mocking you. How did you ever think you could be a writer like all your favorite authors? You were so stupid, you thought.

“I let you down.” You said shakily.

“No no no, little pea.” Frankie said quickly. “You could never let me down. I don’t need to a book agent to tell me you’re a good writer. I know you’re writing is beautiful and perfect. Just like you.”

His praise caused another wave of tears from you.

“Daddy…” You bawled.

“I hear you, baby.” Frankie heard his own voice shake with emotion. He never hated the distance more than he did in this moment. He needed to wrap you up in his arms. “Close your eyes, sweet pea. Use that big imagination of yours. Pretend I’m there with you.”

“Imagination isn’t good enough, daddy.” You blubbered, fat tears slipping from your eyes.

“I know, baby.” Frankie’s heart was breaking. “But try for me okay?”

You clamped your eyes shut and tried to focus in on his breathing on the other end of the phone. Frankie did the same, closing his eyes.

“Good, sweet pea. Focus on daddy.” He wished he was there to comfort you, wrap you up in his arms and shield you from the cruel cruel world. “I’m next to you. I’m holding you so tight.”

“Hold me tighter!” You begged holding your pillow pet to your chest.

“Okay. I just did.” Frankie whispered closing his eyes as if it would be more real. “Feel that?”

“Yeah…” A moment went by as you steadied your breathing. Tears eventually stopped falling, drying against your cheeks. Frankie’s steady breathing anchored you.

“I loved your book. It was really really good. And fuck it, I’ll publish it myself.” Frankie couldn't help but raise his voice.

“Silly.” You sniffled.

“I’m serious, sweet pea. Who needs those stuck up assholes.”

“Hmm yeah, you’re right.” You agreed, voice softening with sleepiness. You pushed your face into your pillow. You could still smell Frankie if you really focused. "I miss you, Frankie."

"I miss you, too."

"I still haven't heard from any jobs. And- maybe I'm just not good enough and-" You felt more tears fill your eyes.

"Shhh shhh" Frankie interrupted "Listen to me. You are the best. The right thing will turn up i'm sure of it."

"But it's the only thing left on the list!"

"I know..." Frankie pulled over your copy of the list that you wrote for him. He had crossed things off as you reported to him. "Let's see if they get back to you tomorrow." Maybe he was being too hard on you, making you get a job first. He only wanted to put it on there to give you some independence over the move. He didn't want you to feel like you had nothing to do once you got here.

Frankie waited until your breathing evened out. He called your name quietly. When he got no response he assumed you fell asleep. He didn’t want to hang up. He missed you so fucking much and he felt helpless.

When he woke up the next morning, he said goodbye to Rosalia as usual, called in sick, and started driving north. Fuck the list. You were coming home with him now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Of course Frankie called you telling you he was on his way. You felt bad for making him miss work but your excitement overpowered any guilt. You set a timer for 14 hours and started packing with new energy. Your eyes were still puffy from your tears last night. But you repeated what Frankie said like a mantra. Who needs those stuck up assholes. There were tons of ways to self publish nowadays. It didn’t have to be through a publishing house.

When you ran out of things to clean up and pack, you watched out the window waiting to see Frankie’s blue pick up. You had changed into sleep shorts and a t shirt. While you had a plan to dress more sexy you ended up accidentally packing that surprise in one of the boxes earlier today. It was getting dark when Frankie finally pulled up. He looked exhausted but still… Frankie. He was wearing his favorite hat and grey t shirt. You ran down to the street to meet him. He’s pulling empty boxes from the bed of the truck when he sees you sprinting towards him.

“Sweet pea!” He smiled as you launched yourself into his arms. “Oof.” You buried you face in his shirt inhaling his scent. He rubbed your back affectionately enjoying having you back in his arms. “Aw… it’s okay. It’s okay now.” He murmured when he heard you sniffle. He oddly felt his chest swell with pride at how much you missed him. He never had to worry about how you felt about him. He peeled your head off him by stroking your head. You looked up at him with a watery smile. “You ready to blow this popsicle stand?”

You snickered at his dad phases. “I’m ready. Well… I still have some stuff I need to pack up. Too heavy.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” Frankie kissed you chastely. You pulled him in for more though, fisting his shirt in your hands. “Mmm no no. Work first. Play later.” Frankie pulled back. You pouted but have to agree with his logic. The faster you packed the faster you could leave.

Back in your apartment Frankie got to work taking apart your bed and dresser. You finished packing your clothes and dusting.

“Hey what’s this? It was under the bed.” Frankie walked over holding a gift bag with pink tissue paper sticking up.

“Oh…” You quickly grabbed it away. “That’s supposed to be a surprise. For Rosie.”

“You got her a present?” Frankie was touched by your thoughtfulness.

“Yeah I mean… I figured it might make her like me more.”

“She already likes you, but she can never have too many toys.” Frankie stepped further into your space. You realize at that moment how sweaty he was from moving all the furniture. It was so late at night and you were both exhausted but the sudden rush of his thicker smell made you feel wide awake. “Can I see what you got her?”

You handed the package back over, watching him gingerly move the tissue paper to the side. His eyes softened when he saw the pink unicorn pillow pet sitting in the bag. A mini version of yours.

“Am I too presumptuous making us matching? I don’t know if she likes unicorns and-" Frankie cut you off, dropping the bag and kissing you up against the wall. He wasn't even sure what part of that turned him on, just your sweetness and wanting to be a part of his family. He held your face in his hands, his grip forcing your mouth open. You felt yourself start to grow wet. You loved when he just went caveman on you. Sometimes he didn’t have the words to express how much he loved you so he reverted to touch; to deep kisses and deep thrusts. His hands trailed down your exposed legs so he could lift you up on his hips. You held onto his shoulders as he swung you around. The bed was gone, the couch was gone.

"Fuck. Hang on."

You laughed as he ran you out to the kitchen to set you down on the counter. You pawed at his pants trying to undo his belt, but Frankie was faster, unhooking your bra from under your shirt and then pulling your shirt over your head. He took your hand and placed it over his large bulge between his legs.

“Feel what you do to me…” He gritted through his teeth his chest rising and falling sharply.


“Frankie- oh my god-please let me” You pulled he belt loose. At first he stops you. “I didn’t get to last time. Please?” He bit his lip considering your plea. He really just wanted to give and give and give to you. But he had been mean last time, not letting you touch his cock. So this time he doesn’t stop you as you unbutton his pants and pull him out of his boxers. You licked your lips as his cock fell into your hand, curving up towards you.

You hopped off the counter, getting onto your knees before him. “Take off your shirt… please?” He obliged. You kissed down his belly feeling it tighten against your lips. He watched you with fire in his eyes, his mouth slightly parted. You pushed the rest of his pants and boxers down. You stroked him slowly with both hands.

“You have to tell me what you like…” You held his cock and licked a long stripe from the base to the head making him moan weakly. You repeat the motion adding a few kitten licks at the end, lapping up the stray drops of salty precum. Frankie was struggling to think let alone speak. He gripped the countertop above you, his other hand going to the back of your head.

“Just- go slow.” You followed his instructions, slowly taking his length in your mouth. “Good-good girl.” He clenched his jaw staring down at the sight. Your hot mouth felt like heaven and your innocent eyes staring up at him was just the cherry on top. You took his dick as far as you could before you choked lightly. You were by no means an expert at giving blowjobs but you were frustrated you couldn't go further. Your jaw was already aching from his girth.

“Mm don’t hurt yourself, baby.” He hissed unable to hold his hips still, he jerked a little against you making you whine. “Come back up, remember to breathe.”

You slowly pulled off his cock before going down again. Frankie’s hand on your head gently guided you so you didn’t hurt your throat. You added suction, applying pressure on the underside of his cock. You started to find what he liked based on his sounds. You still couldn’t take him all the way in your mouth, tears gathered in corner of your eyes from the effort. Your hand pumped the rest that wouldn’t fit.

“Oh fuck.” Frankie gasped his hips jerking again making his cock slide back into your mouth. You moved one of your hands to his hips looking up at him to say it was okay. “Are you-you want me to fuck your mouth, sweet pea?” You nodded eagerly. You put one of you hands on his length where he wouldn’t fit. He gathered up some of your hair in a makeshift ponytail and slowly thrust into your mouth. Like he always did, he waited for you to nod and give him the okay. When you did, he couldn’t help the growl that left his throat. Drool leaked from your mouth onto your chest as he sped up using your head more forcefully. You were sure you had soaked through your panties. It turned you on so much to see him take control, use you for his pleasure, but still his grip on you was firm and gentle. Every grunt went straight to your pussy. “Such a good girl letting me use this hole, too.” He rasped. “You’re crying around my cock.”

“Mmhm” You hummed around his dick making him groan. He was close. He was battering the back of your throat. You could recognize the furrowed brow and the tightening of his balls. You intensified your ministrations.

“Good girl, good-I’m gonna cum in your little mouth.” He pulled out of your mouth with a wet pop. “Stick out your tongue, sweet pea.” He ordered. You obeyed, watching greedily as he fisted himself harshly the tip of his cock hitting your tongue. You placed your hands on either side of his tummy, anticipating his load. His chest was flush and his eyes were fluttering shut. When he came he yanked your head up harshly as cum splashed onto your tongue. You loved this perspective, watching his face contort with pleasure. You tried to take every drop but some dripped down your chin. “Swallow.” Frankie ordered roughly still maintaining his grip on your head. You swallowed, his warm cum sliding down your throat.

“Thank you, daddy.” You smiled up at him, wiping some of the stray cum off your chin. He let go of your hair, now stroking your head then your jaw. “Did I do well?”

“So good.” He chuckled and helped you stand, his breath still ragged. You squirmed pressing your thighs together. The move not missed by Frankie. “Did sucking my cock make you wet, sweet pea?”

You nodded shyly before saying “It’s okay though. You don’t have to-it’s late and we have a long drive tomorrow.”

“You’re always looking out for me but what kind of man would I be if I left you all needy. But you have to ask for it, sweet pea.”

“I kinda just want your mouth if that’s okay?” You asked feeling too tired for a full round of sex.

“Of course.” Frankie smiled. “Your mattress is still in the bedroom.” He led you in and helped settle you on the center of the mattress. He pulled your shorts and underwear off, staring at your slick reddened pussy. "You soaked your little panties, sweet pea. Did you touch your little flower while I was gone?" Frankie asked, pulling apart your legs.

"I-I tried to. But it wasn't the same."

"How come, little pea?" His patronizing tone had your cunt clenching. He was teasing you.

"It wasn't your fingers. I needed you." You huffed, trying to push his head down onto you.

"Mmm poor thing." Frankie chuckled, the rich sound giving you goosebumps. He felt his cock start to harden again despite you just sucked the soul out of him moments ago. He slowly licked up your slit moaning at the taste of you. Your head tipped back as he he slowly inserted a finger into you. "Eyes on me." He instructed. You forced your head back down so you could make eye contact. "Play with your tits for me." You obeyed, squeezing the flesh in your hand. He returned to his task, taking your clit in between his lips, quickly escalating your climax. Your hands never stood a chance. He inserted a second finger, curling it against you. They were so thick and long it hit that spot deep inside you it made you gush.

"Oh my god. Daddy-I'm-" You teetered on the precipice your breath caught in your throat. Your entire body erupted in flames as your mouth open in a silent scream. Frankie's eyes widened as your pussy strangled his fingers before fluttering uncontrollably. Your cum dripped onto his hand, he quickly replaced his fingers with his tongue trying to catch it all.

"That's it." He felt you finally take a shaking inhale. "Breathe, sweet pea. Breathe." Exhaustion hit you hard as every muscle relaxed.

"I'm sleepy..." You slurred.

"It's okay. You can go to sleep." Frankie leaned up kissing you, smearing your slick all over your mouth. He returned to licking your pussy less aggressively though. "I got you."

You nodded before drifting off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning you dump the last of your stuff at goodwill, packed the truck, turned in your key, and hit the road. You were bouncing in your seat with excitement. You hadn’t ever traveled south of DC. The landscape was beautiful. You and Frankie took turns driving, belting Fleetwood Mac on repeat. You forced Frankie to take obligatory selfies to remember the journey at rest stops or whenever the view was worthy. Over halfway to Miami you paused at a rest stop for a quick nap. Frankie was anxious to get you home and he didn’t want to stay put for too long. He was used to long drives and quick naps, but you weren’t. He didn’t want to exhaust you because there was so much he wanted to show you when you arrived. You laid across the backseat of the truck with your head in Frankie’s lap as the sun was going down.

In the early morning Frankie finished the drive. His own excitement increased when he was back in the city. You had your head nearly sticking out of the window looking at everything. You couldn’t believe how sunny and warm it was here. Frankie turned down a residential street. “Almost there.” He said. You buzzed in your seat.

Frankie made one last turn into a driveway. You instantly got warm feelings looking at the house. It was painted seagull grey with white trim. It was wonderfully symmetrical with two windows on the first and second floor with window boxes outside the first floor window. The front yard was nicely mowed.

“Your house is so cute!” You hopped out of the car, your legs enjoying the chance to stretch. The air smelled slightly salty being so close to the beach. The sun felt wonderful on your skin. You could have laid down in the grass and just fallen asleep.

Frankie showed you around his house with your hand in his, pointing out random things of importance in his giddy state. You followed him around with bright adoring eyes. Despite looking forward to this moment for a while, you barely looked at anything except for him. You could care less about where the tile for the fireplace came from. You didn’t remember Frankie’s story about how Will messed up his back moving in Frankie’s couch in because it was hitting you over and over again that you were home with Frankie. You didn’t pay attention to the story behind Rosie’s crib because Frankie was here with you. His warm hand holding you close like you may disappear. He was here with that damn cute excited voice as he showed you around his home, soon to be your home.

“Sweet pea? Earth to sweet pea?”

“Hmmm?” You smiled apologetically. Standing in the kitchen, the sun pouring in from the window above the sink bathed Frankie in golden light making him look ethereal.

“I said- we should start moving boxes in before it gets dark.”

“You haven’t shown me everything yet.” You realized.

“What did I miss?”

“Your room…” You swung your entwined hands back and forth.

“Our room, sweet pea.”

“So I won’t be sleeping on the floor?” You laughed.

“Never.” He kissed you briefly. “I just haven’t cleaned up in there and I need to make some space for your stuff and-“

“Frankie.” You quiet his rambling with another kiss. You couldn’t stop kissing him. “Your house is immaculate. That’s the room I want to see.”

He swallowed harshly before he led you up the stairs and down the narrow hallway to his room. While showing you the garden and the other rooms he was giddy but now he seemed more flustered. When you opened the door you could see why. Your candle was sitting on his bedside table. It was the first thing you saw when you walked in.

You immediately break away from him, going to inspect his bedside table. Glimpses of Frankie that made you love him all the more. Your candle, your books, your list, his sergeant pin, and an old alarm clock.

“Was this what you’re so embarrassed about?” You asked picking up the candle. It was almost used up. He averted his gaze. The back of his neck bright red which you recognized as a sign of his nervousness. “Frankie…” You set it down and took both his hands in yours. You couldn’t even convey what it meant to you. He had missed you that much that he burned your candle.

“I have the real thing now.” He said pulling you against his chest, dragging his nose over your cheek in reverence. You hummed in contentment. “This is our room, sweet pea. Our home.” He whispered.

“Our bed.” You added moving his hands to rest on your ass, wrapping your own around his neck.


“Eager girl.” He tutted, kissing just below your ear, squeezing your ass lightly.

“I can’t help it. I’ve waited so long, Frankie.” You tilt your head up resting your forehead against his.

“You’ll never have to wait again, princesa pea. I’m here.”

“Then I want you now.” You tugged him towards the bed. Falling down onto his comforter you were hit by a puff of his scent. Laundry detergent, old spice, and that indescribable musk that was Frankie. You barely got a chance to enjoy it before Frankie is falling on top of you. You laughed as he pulled you up the bed until you’re against the pillows. He's about to rip your clothes from you but-

“Wait wait- I have a gift for you.” His eyes lit up.

“Frankie…” You smiled “You didn’t have to get me anything.” He pushed away from you, walking over to his dresser. He pulled out a small package.


“Here.” He handed it to you.

You sat up. You felt guilty you didn’t get him a gift. You slowly peeled back the tape trying to save the paper. It was wrapped so nicely.

“Come on, rip it up. It’s just paper.”

“No… I wanna save it.” You argued, pulling it open finally. You stared down at the contents in your lap. It was a book with a pink cover and loopy writing. Our Little Kingdom. “Frankie… this is- this is my book.” You felt your eyes swim with tears.

“I know.” Frankie knelt in front of you. “I read it and it was so good. I wanted to get it bound. I was serious when I said want to publish it. I want to make it happen. But if you don’t want to at least we can enjoy it how it’s meant to be enjoyed.”

You flipped through the pages smelling the fresh paper. You reached the end and noticed Frankie had slipped in something as a book mark. It was a torn half of a check. “This is…”

“The check I tore up. I use it as a bookmark so I thought you would-“

You launched yourself at Frankie, a habit you learned from him when words were just simply not enough.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up, you were surrounded by Frankie’s scent, warm sun hitting your face. Frankie wasn't there. You heard movement downstairs. You threw on the first shirt of Frankie's you could find. You practically skipped down the stairs, heart leaping when you saw Frankie in his PJ pants and nothing else sitting at the kitchen table. His body was lit up in the morning sun, he looked like a goddamn dream. He was shoveling some cereal into his mouth but he stopped when he noticed you. He still looked so sexy to you in this moment, his strong arms and big hand gripping the small spoon. His chest littered with small hickies you made. You blinked a couple of times wanting to imprint this image into your brain forever.

“What are you doing up so early?”

“The sun woke me up!”

“Shit. I would have made you some breakfast or something.”

“That’s okay.” You smiled going to stand in front of him. You kissed him, licking some of the milk from his lips. Your hands rested on his bare golden shoulders. You loved how wide they were and how solid and warm they felt.

“Mmm is this mine, sweet pea?” He tugged at the Fleetwood Mac shirt hanging down to your thighs.

“No, it’s another boys.” You teased.

“Don’t joke about that, little pea.” Frankie warned with a small swipe to your ass.

“I’m sorry, daddy.” You giggled. “I was only joking. No one else has cool shirts like you.”

“You want some cereal? I can also make eggs or pancakes or-“

“I want-” You slipped your hand over his pants. You could feel his slightly hard cock sitting below. “This.”

“You already had some last night and you still want more?” Frankie groaned his thighs spreading further around you. “I thought you’d be sore, sweet pea.”

“I am.” You admitted kissing him quickly. “but I still want you.”

“Mmm…” Frankie pulled your hand away watching you pout. “I think you need to eat something first.”

“No I don’t!”

“Come on, I’ll let you sit on your special seat.” He tapped his thigh. You debated this. You decided to do what he asked, not wanting to test your luck so early in the day. You hopped up on his lap wiggling back until his semi hard cock was pressed against your back. Your thighs sitting over his legs, your pussy peaking out from his shirt. Frankie rested his big hands on your bare thighs rubbing the skin back and forth. You closed your eyes enjoying his touch. You could feel his breath against your neck as he looked down at the sight.

“Do I look good on my special seat, daddy?” You asked looking up at him.

“Perfect, my little pea.” Frankie smiled. He pulled the cereal over and you popped a bite in your mouth. You didn’t normally like cereal but since Frankie asked…

“Okay, done. I’ve eaten.”

“Woah I hardly call that eating.” Frankie shook his head. He placed a hand on your stomach, fingers splayed out over the entire width almost. He applied a little pressure which had you squirming again. God his hands were so big and warm just above where you needed him. “I can feel little rumblings telling me you’re hungry, sweet pea.” You rock against him more intentionally making him catch his breath.

“Not for cereal.” You bit your lip.

“One more bite, sweet pea. For daddy?” He rubbed his beard into your neck which never failed to make you to laugh.


You took another spoonful of the soggy cereal before looking up at him for approval. He chuckled as you chewed quickly. You looked so cute with your cheeks full. It made cock ache.

“Good job, sweet pea.” He smirked when you swallowed it all. He lowered his hand down to cup your pussy which was already dripping. You hand flew to his thick forearm.

You melted against him as he rubs your clit slowly. Last night was hurried and desperate but now it was like he had all the time in the world. You listened to him take large inhale against your neck, smelling you.

“You look so beautiful, sweet pea. In my shirt. In our kitchen.”

“Fuck…” You moaned. His fingers felt so wonderful and thick against you. You fucking loved the sound of that. Ours.

“I’m gonna fuck you on our table.”

He lifted you up with ease, pushing your back down on the table. The sun coming through the window bathed your body in soft light. You looked divine. Frankie had your legs spread wide, tongue on that pussy before you could even blink. “Holy shit. Daddy!” Your hands clenched into fists at your side.

“Sweet pea.” Frankie pulled off, lips wetted by your slick. You blushed under his hot gaze. “Why don’t you pull my hair?”

You whimpered as he took your little fist and put it in his beautiful locks. “I want to but… the last person I was with didn’t like it.” You turned your head to the side trying to hide your embarrassment. His hair felt like silk in your hands.

“Hey-“ Frankie gently grabbed your chin and turned you to look at him. “You don’t have to hide anything from me.” He was leaning over you, invading all your senses, but of course the aspect that hit you hardest was his voice. Soft and reassuring. That rich baritone that made you fall in love in the first place. “Pull my hair, baby, I wanna know how well I treat this pussy. You won’t hurt me.”

You nodded feeling your eyes wet with tears. His affection never ceased to shock you. He kissed you, softening your worried look with each stroke of his tongue. When you were relaxed, he returned to your pussy. He was a fast learner for the times, applying the pressure you needed with his tongue while hitting that spot inside your walls with his fingers. Your hands were laced in his soft hair tugging almost unconsciously.

“Fuck-Daddy" You gasped feeling your breath. Your stomach tightened but you still felt like you weren't quite to your breaking point. "I can't- I need- I need-"

"What, sweet pea, what do you need?" Frankie paused, looking at you struggle above him. You grabbed his hand which was holding your hip and moved it to your throat. "Holy shit." Frankie's eyes widened.

"I need you to push me over-" you struggled to think of how to explain it but Frankie started applying light pressure over your throat making your cunt tighten around his fingers. The strain on your airway finally brought you to the edge. He returned to your clit and didn’t let up even as your walls clamped and gushed around his fingers. Didn’t stop as your back arched off the table, your toes curled, and your hands pulled his hair almost painfully. He let go of your throat when you tapped his wrist and your breath returned ragged and sharp, extending your orgasm. You brushed some of Frankie’s hair from his forehead and he looked up, making eye contact, as his lips suckled on your clit lightly. You didn’t say anything for a moment, feeling your body come down from that peak, basking in Frankie’s loving gaze between your legs. You felt boneless.

“I love you.” You murmured. Frankie surged up, capturing your lips in a wet kiss. He pulled back and kissed the happy tears falling from your eyes that you didn’t realize had fallen.

“I love you, too. I’m never letting you go.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m home.” You wrapped your legs around his waist, needing to feel that promise inside you. Needing his promise filling you up.

“Are you sure you’re not too sore?”

“I’m sure.” You ran your hand through his hair, now addicted to the feeling of it.

Frankie slowly eased himself into your pussy. It was harder without lube. You winced a little once he was fully inside. Fuck he was so big.

"Am I hurting you?" Frankie felt bad and started to pull out.

"No please." You arched your back trying to hold him inside. "I'm okay. I want- I want-."

"Sweet pea..." He bit his lip as he struggled to resist thrusting into you.

"And if I can't walk- then you can carry me." You wiggled your hips. Frankie couldn't help but laugh at that not that he minded carrying you around. "Please, daddy." You asked one last time as you dug your heels into his lower back. Frankie placed his hands on your waist and started fucking into you slowly, withdrawing almost all the way out before thrusting back in again.

“I’m so proud of you… taking my cock like a good girl.” He kissed you softly, moving to kiss a train down your neck to your nipples and back up. "You're home now." You nodded in agreement. "This is our little kingdom, sweet pea.” Your shallow breaths slowly transformed into moans. You felt your muscles relax a little and signaled he could start moving faster.

Needless to say the cereal on the table shook and spilled as he fucked you. Spilled milk on your table. His cum spilled inside you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frankie enjoyed hosting so much since Rosie’s birthday he wanted to have a Fourth of July barbecue. With your help he took the decorations to the next level. Hanging fairy lights over the patio, and renting a bouncy castle for the kids. In an act of irrational niceness, you had said it was okay if Laura came by, that way Rosalia would be there too.

Frankie was clear he had no desire to hide you. He wanted to show you off. Still, you dreaded meeting Frankie's ex. Rosalia had warmed to you quickly even preferring you to hold her. You already loved her so much. Today she wanted you to follow her everywhere and watch her play. Frankie was stuck behind the grill but he still could watch his girls playing. You were wearing a lovely red sundress which Frankie was looking forward to stripping off. It brushed your thighs in the breeze and it was perfect height for Rosalia to tug on when she wanted to be picked up.

“You’ve done a great job with the decor.” Laura appeared at Frankie’s side.

“Thanks.” Frankie smiled tightly. Her surprised tone confirmed that she always underestimated him.

“You’ve been happier lately.” Laura studied Frankie.

“I guess.” Frankie shrugged turning one of the hot dogs for something to do.

“It just has me remembering the old days. Before everything with you happened.” Frankie prickled at that last statement. Everything with you. She always put it on him totally forgetting how she also made things worse.

“Frankie?” You appeared at his other side, eyeing Laura warily and doing little to hide your dislike. You had seen from yards away how Frankie tensed up, looking down. You wouldn’t let that slide so you went over. Finally removing your glare from his ex wife you look up at him, laying a reassuring hand over his forearm. “Uh- people are getting hungry. How soon until it’s done?”

“It’s ready now.” Frankie smiled down at you, instantly feeling more at ease. His answer let you know he was okay.

“Great I’ll wrangle everyone.” You smiled before darting back to the crowd.

“Who is that?” Laura frowned. “Someone's babysitter?”

“No.” Frankie shut off the grill facing his ex wife face to face. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend?” Laura sounded skeptical. “She’s 12.”

“She’s a woman.” Frankie corrected her. “A woman I love very much.” He wasn’t going to listen to anyone look down on you.

“You should have talked to me before you brought her around Rosie.” Laura huffed, putting a hand on her hip.

“You had no problem parading your boyfriends around during our divorce.” Frankie shot back quickly looking to make sure they couldn’t be heard. “It’s in the court records so I doubt you want to bring it up.”

“Frankie…” Laura seemed to regret what she said.

“Let’s just… move on.” Frankie said as people started to draw near.

“Papa!” He heard Rosie squeal, toddling towards him.

“Rosie!” He picked her up, his anger instantly melting away. “Ready for your hot dog?”

As Frankie and the others started filling up their plates Laura crept closer to you as you were cleaning up some of the kid’s mess by the pool.

“Excuse me. I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Laura.” She extended her hand. She was taller than you. Her face was tight as if she was holding in her sneer.

“Hi.” You decided to be nice, shaking the woman’s hand. You introduced yourself.

“So… you and Frankie. “

“Yes.”

“How long has that been going on?”

“A few months.” You said keeping it vague.

“And it’s going well?”

“Yes.” You grew annoyed by her vague questioning. Obviously it was going well since you were here. Her eyes were the total opposite of Frankie's. Hard and cold and icy blue. You quietly thanked god that Rosalia had inherited Frankie's eyes.

“Hmm he’s not doing that crazy thing anymore?”

“What thing?” You frowned.

“Well one time while we were together he stayed up the whole night because he thought some criminal or something was after us.” Laura laughed cruelly. You wanted to slap her for her lack of sympathy. What was funny about Frankie’s fear? “The psychiatrist said there would be delusions but that was just too much.”

“I think I’ve heard enough.” You snipped, trying to keep at least a polite facade. There were people just a few feet away. You prayed the couldn’t hear.

“Hey I’m sorry.” She schooled her features. “Don’t think I’m cruel. It wasn’t easy being with someone like that. I’m trying to look out for you.”

“Thanks for that. I think I'm good though.” You finished picking up the last pool toy and walked away before Laura could say more. You wanted to turn back and say something mean but you were determined to be the bigger person. You didn’t want to start drama that would hurt Frankie and Rosalia. You spent a good minute in the garage after putting the toys back, positively fuming.

“Sweet pea?” Frankie interrupted your thoughts, joining you in the garage. “Aren’t you hungry?”

"I was just cleaning up.” You said though your hands were empty.

“I saw Laura talking to you.” He watched you warily. Fear lapped at him. What did Laura tell you...��Everything okay?”

“She just… a bitch.” You huffed. Your word choice made Frankie burst out laughing. “I’m sorry I know you married her but how? She’s awful and rude and judgmental.”

“I know.” Frankie quieted his laughter, pulling you into his chest. “It wasn’t meant to last.”

“Because she’s a bitch.” You grumbled into his chest making Frankie laugh again. His tummy bounced against yours with his laughter. You loved it. You thought again about what Laura said. How cruel she had been in the face of Frankie’s PTSD. “If she says one more rude thing I may have to smack her.”

“You’re hot when you’re possessive, you know that?” Frankie smiled tickling your sides. “Come on, we should get back before our guests start to notice.”

“Alright.” You agreed, taking his hand and following him out of the garage. You felt Laura’s eyes on you two when you came back to the yard. Frankie got your burger set up for you before doing his. It’s the simple things that got you going; how giving he is. You tried to hide your blush from the onlookers as Frankie asked you ketchup or mustard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once everyone went home you and Frankie laid out a blanket in the back so you could watch the fireworks happening on the beach a mile away. He was quiet, at least more than he usually is. You didn’t know what to say to reassure him so again you reverted to touch. You placed your hand on his thigh reassuringly.

“Frankie?” You turned to him. “Do you want to talk about anything?”

“No.” He seemed taken aback by your question.

“Okay.” You moved closer to him until you were tucked into his side.

“You mean about Laura.” Frankie said after a moment. “Just- she didn’t say anything to you to make you upset right? She doesn’t get under my skin anymore. I don’t want her to get under yours.”

“She didn’t get under my skin.” You replied. She said nothing to make you insecure, just make you angry at her is all. “I’m just protective of you, you know. It seems like she was awful to you.”

“It’s fine.” Frankie shrugged.

“No.” You moved to sit on his lap, straddling him. “It’s not. You came back from your deployment probably in need of some comfort and all she gave you was judgment."

“She told you about that night.” Frankie hung his head in humiliation. You didn’t deny it. You didn’t want to upset him but part of you knew he should talk about this. Laura shouldn’t be the only one who holds this memory over his head. “It was my first night back. I just- I swore I heard gunfire. I was freaking out. I was probably acting really scary. I thought they came for me and she-Laura called the cops on me.”

“How could she…” You teared up on behalf of Frankie.

“I ran.” He continued, his voice thick. “I stayed a Will’s and calmed down. That was the end of the marriage.” He rubbed up and down your thighs under your dress. It always comforted him. You tried to think of what to say. His wife, the person who was supposed to love him the most, ostracized him and criminalized him.

Frankie was anticipating you to be afraid of him or push him away, but to his surprised you pulled him into a hug, holding his head against your neck like he was a child. He felt a sob rise in his throat and tears wet his eyes. You were so... kind. It was something he was still learning to accept and realize he deserved .

“You’re right.” You took a breath to relax yourself. “It doesn’t matter what she says. You’re mine now. Not hers.” You kissed Frankie on his nose then kissed his mouth.

“Always, sweet pea.” He rubbed his thumb over the area of your brow that furrowed in residual anger.

“I just wish there were some way…” you chewed your lip. “I have these-“ you pulled his dog tags out from where they hung between your breasts. “Reminds me I’m yours.”

“Maybe I need a necklace too.” Frankie smiled squeezing your thighs. That got you thinking…

“Can I try something?” You asked. Frankie nodded looking amused. You tugged at his shirt pulling it over his head. You never got over how broad he was. His toned arms were flexed holding himself up. You leaned forward planting a wet kiss on Frankie’s neck where it met his shoulder.

“Mmm gonna mark me up?”

You nodded and sucked harder till you were satisfied it would leave a mark. Pulling back you admired the red blooming where your mouth had been. It shouldn’t affect you as much as it did but you loved that he had a physical mark from you. He had scars here and there from cross fire and stab wounds. Some he wouldn’t go into detail. You loved them all but for once you wanted him to have a mark born out of love.

“I’m gonna give you a necklace, daddy.” You murmured tracing the path you would forge, down and around to the other side of his neck. You were gonna make hicks all around his neck like a chain. You leaned back down and planted another mark below and slightly to the right.

“Holy shit.” Frankie groaned, tilting his head back. He felt his cock start to harden under your attention. You slowly made your way across his hot skin until you had seven little wet hickies starting to show through the skin. You traced them with your finger, connecting the dots.

Frankie looked down, watching in fascination. His dog tags were a bittersweet thing, symbolizing his commitment to the military, but you wanted them. You wore them proudly, giving him more closure than 100 hours of therapy. But this... this new chain on his skin represented his belonging to you. “Beautiful, baby girl. Thank you.” He kissed you sucking your bottom lip into his mouth. You pulled away before he could deepen it. You start to lean down again like you were going to plant another hickie on him. He pushed you back and rolled the both of you over.

“Daddy! I wasn’t done yet.” You wiggled against the soft blanket.

“No it’s daddy’s turn now.” He pushed the straps of your dress down your arms, tugging your neckline down.

“But I already have a necklace.” You felt Frankie’s dog tags lying in your cleavage.

“Now you’ll have two. I spoil my girl like that.” Frankie teased. He kissed up and down your neck before settling on his starting place. When he started sucking it sent a lightning bolt straight to your clit. You gasped. You could feel him hard against your thigh, not fully yet. You rocked your hips impatiently, clutching his head against you.

“Be patient, baby.” He warned, pausing his work. You stilled your hips with a pout. “Good girl.” He resumed. You wanted to be naughty but you knew you’d never win that fight. Problem was you were loving his attention on your neck so much you couldn’t help but start grinding against his leg again. Your hand reached down and tried to stroke his hardening cock. Frankie pulled back, his lips swollen from giving you hickies. He was only halfway around your chest now.

“You’re being naughty…” Frankie chided, lightly slapping your hand away from him. You continued squirming under his gaze though you at least look apologetic. Frankie pulled away. “You don’t want your necklace?” Frankie pretended to be hurt.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” You turned on the puppy dog eyes. “Just- your mouth feels so good.”

“If you’re not gonna behave I’m gonna have to make you behave.” Frankie’s mouth curled into a smirk. Your stomach flipped around in excitement. “Sit back up on your knees.” He ordered. You eagerly sat up on your knees, placing your hands on your thighs. Your dress hung around your waist. Frankie stood up and started undoing his belt. You got excited thinking he was going to let you suck his cock but instead he just pulled his belt from his pants and knelt down again. “Remember just say stop if you want to stop.” Frankie reminds you.

You nodded your eyes dilating, staring at the leather in his hands.

“Hands behind your back, baby.” He instructed. You obeyed your knees widening subconsciously. He tied his belt around your wrists. It’s not tight enough to hurt but you certainly could not move your hands without really trying. Frankie licked his lips, staring down at your vulnerable position. “Good little sweet pea.” He cooed. “Now you won’t be able to be naughty. What do you say?”

“Thank you, daddy.” You whispered feeling your cheeks burn at the depravity of your position. The smooth leather of his belt rubbed against your pulse point and Frankie’s smell filled your nose. You’re out in the open. Sure there was a fence but it still heightened your arousal. You were dripping you were sure of it. He knelt before you again to finish his hickies. He held your hair pulling it back to give himself more room.

You tried to lift up your arms multiple times but got stopped by the belt. You whined as he sucked another mark into you and you couldn’t get any stimulation in this position. Frankie let you moan and whine for him but he didn’t stop his mission. He finally pulled back, his hooded eyes evaluated at his work.

“Look at it, baby.”

You looked down at the curved line of hickies running from collarbone to collarbone. “Thank you, daddy, for my necklace. I love it so much.” You looked at his chest. You were matching now. Your lust was momentarily paused as a fresh wave of adoration washed over you. It was so much deeper than sex. Frankie noticed your change in expression and kissed you softly, bringing you back to the moment.

“You sat still for me so good. Now you can ask for what you want.” He strokes your hair softly.

“I wanna-I wanna suck you cock please?”

“Are you sure?” Frankie smiled. “You don’t want my mouth on you or-"

“No.” You shook your head. The emotions swirling in you from lust to love made you hungry for one thing. “I wanna make you cum in my mouth.”

“Fuck.” He groaned before kissing you hard, licking into your mouth. He never had someone as giving and kind and protective of him as you. He could have cried but there was no need because you were his forever. No yearning just living. He reached around to pull off the belt but you stopped him with a small voice.

“Leave it on.”

“Jesus fucking christ.” Frankie stood quickly. You sat up further, your hands still restrained behind your back. Your head was tilted up at him, your dress bunched around your waist, it was the most beautiful fucking sight.

Red blue and white fireworks dazzled the sky above. He picked you up bridal style and carried you inside as quickly as he could while you giggled in delight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Things started clicking into place like you were growing along some metaphorical ladder. You were finally where you needed to be. You got a job working at the VA in Miami, running their re-entry program. A small publishing house in Miami loved your book and agreed to publish it for a short run. Frankie took some money out of the Colombia account to cover the rest of the contract. Frankie had the book for sale at the shop pushing it on anyone who would enter. He was so proud of you. And that was all that mattered to you.

Frankie unironically planted sweet pea in the garden, telling you how they are slow to grow, but their delicate flower and sweet smell is worth the wait; just like you. Sweet peas were climbers, with the right support, they would bend to any shape. You knew you could go as high as the sky with Frankie by your side.

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