#i have never felt as good about myself as i do now

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

This this this

I grew up homeschooled in a family where my parents basically had us fend for ourselves, while also discouraging us from doing any sort of activity or maintain friendships, so the vast majority of my life was spent feeling cut off and inadequate compared to my peers

Shockingly, I ended up having severe depression, (as did my siblings) and developed extremely unhealthy coping mechanisms and habits as a young teenager, as well as other mental issues.

When I finally was able to start the process of getting help(which truly didn't start until the last few years, despite me being in therapy a decade) and started to do things outside of my usual habits, such as going to school and also getting a job(despite my parents trying to discourage me on my bad days), I was now an adult and felt like there was so much I missed out on, especially when looking at my friends experiences at the same ages.

It's so easy to dwell on those thoughts and revert back to old habits, and even harder to try and work through them(like pushing myself to get out of bed, or go to a function with friends). So many people I know who don't have depression just assume it's a little bit of laziness and sadness, and act like everything would be fixed if I just listened only to happy music and refused antidepressants because my generation is 'overmedicated'. And while we definitely are over medicated, without those medicines, so many people (myself included) wouldn't be here.

While my depression is better, and thankfully I've been pretty good with catching up on lost time academic wise, I still struggle with depression and the fallout from everything that has contributed to it. I hang out with friends but almost always end up feeling drained or depressed afterwards, even though I'm around people I care about and like, and I know they feel the same, there is always that voice in my head that one day they're going to change their minds and realize I'm not worth it or that maybe they don't actually like me.

Depression takes a huge toll on my body, I am always tired and overwhelmed, and when I am around friends and peers I feel like I'm an imposter just hoping no one catches on and questions the fact I try to mimic others behavior in hopes I blend in better (even if it's something I know to do, I suddenly feel awkward and panicked and act like I've never dealt with it before, thus watching others and trying to copy movements/actions, even if it's something I'm very knowledgeable about/good at)

I am drained because I feel I have to put on a front that everything is fine, and I feel bubbly and happy all the time, because otherwise people think I'm ungrateful/slighting them, or there out of pity(my sister is someone who thinks all of those reasons unless I'm all happy on the outside). Even though so many times, I was looking forward to doing something or spending time with someone, but for no reason I can think of, I get struck by depression when the time comes, but I still want to take part, because I worry I'll regret missing out, so I go and spend the time trying to act how people want me to, which is exhausting.

It's taken years to get used to these bad days, and I am working to let myself have a breather or just listening to what my body needs when it happens, (I've been better lately and I'm proud of that, but I still struggle occasionally). It's taken years to learn to stop comparing my life with what my younger cousin or old friend is doing/has done by my age, (or if they've done even more), slightly less to learn to ignore the timeframe society(and family) deems is 'normal', and since then, my quality of life has been better.

All this to say, depression has ruled my life and I deal with that everyday, and it is hard to ignore the sadness I feel for my young self and all she never got to do. But, I made it to 23 (something my 13yr old self never thought would happen), and even tho I didn't get to experience things on what is considered a 'normal' timeline for people my age, I have a whole lifetime of experiences to look forward to, and while my depression may be a part of those, it won't be for all of them.

You know what people don’t talk about often enough? Playing catch up in life after spending your teens or early 20s suicidally depressed. There’s so many more layers than just being able to say “I don’t want to die anymore.”

The difficulty in academia or a career after spending years thinking you wouldn’t be alive long enough for any of it to matter.

The exhaustion that comes from self awareness and self soothing, with the constant voice in your head saying “don’t go backwards.”

How lonely it is to watch the people your age starting families when you’re just barely learning what stable relationships are, and the sudden societal pressure of being “up against a clock” for these kinds of things.

The judgement from others if you change your image or interests this late in the game just because you finally figured out who you really are under the demons.

Be kind to those who are developing and blooming after years of not planning on being here long. We are living a life we absolutely didn’t think we’d have, and it’s hard enough without society reminding us there’s expectations of our age.

We didn’t get to be young; we were too busy fighting battles few know.

-

[saintobio]

blue christmas

a sincerely yours christmas special. non-canon. angst. 900 wc. part of the sy side-stories.

It was quiet that night. 

The fire crackled softly in the hearth, and the scent of pine and cinnamon lingered in the air while the warm glow of Christmas lights twinkled on the tree. Outside, snow drifted lazily to the ground, covering the surroundings of your home in a soft, pile of white. It felt peaceful—almost too peaceful—and you sat back on the couch, lounging after a nice Christmas dinner with your teenage son, Sachiro, who cradled a mug of cocoa in his hands beside you.

You smiled faintly, admiring how much he had grown, and how this quiet night seemed so far removed from the all the drama that had once filled your life. But the comfort of the moment didn’t last long before he spoke. His voice, deep like his father’s, broke the silence of your supposed peaceful night. 

“Mom,” he began, “Why didn’t you ever choose to remarry Dad?”

The question hit you harder than expected, and for a moment, you couldn’t find the right words. Really, what were the right words? You had never been good at talking about these things, and you didn’t expect that your son would put you on the hot seat like this. The past, especially those connected to Satoru—sometimes it felt easier to leave them untouched, forgotten. As it should be. 

You glanced at your son, unsure of how to explain the complicated web of emotions that tangled inside you. “I thought... it was for the best,” you said quietly, voice soft as you searched for something that sounded right. His question was too sudden to be given a decent answer. “You know your Dad and I just couldn’t make it work. And for you, for us, it was better this way.”

Sachiro nodded slowly as if he already knew the answer, yet his fingers tightened around the mug. You could see the way he was processing your words, as if he was hoping for better reasoning. He had never even known the sibling he had lost until recently, the gap that finally forced his father out of your lives. Sachiro only saw the quiet love that both his parents shared, but it wasn’t enough, not for either of you.

“Do you ever wonder what it would be like if my sibling were here?” he asked, clearly inciting. “If you kept her, mom. Would she be celebrating with us tonight?”

You felt the ache in your chest as the question landed. You knew Sachiro’s question came from a place of grudge, aiming really well at a spot that hurt the most. And it did good at bringing you a pang of grief from a memory you had tried to bury long ago. You weren’t numb. Of course the loss still stung, even all these years later.

“I think about it all the time,” you murmured, unable to hide the shame in your voice. “What she would’ve been like. How she would’ve looked like. But... I don’t want to remember, Sachiro. I’ve made peace with it.”

But he wasn’t done. “Then, why didn’t you try again?” His voice was so gentle, yet so curious. “Why didn’t you remarry anyone else? I mean... Dad’s married to someone else now. And they’re having another baby. Shouldn’t that be a sign?”

The words felt like a stab to your chest, your heart shattering with an emotion you couldn’t name. Satoru’s life had moved on without you, far far too long ago, yet every reminder of it still cut deep. 

“I’m happy for him,” you said softly, the words stuck in your throat. “But that doesn’t mean I want the same outcome for myself. It’s... complicated.”

Marrying someone else again was not in your books. 

You could feel the intensity of Sachiro’s gaze on you, as if waiting for more. But you didn’t have more to give. You didn’t know how to explain the parts of you that had been shattered, the pieces that had never fully healed. Even if your own son hated you for it. 

“I just want you to be happy, Mom,” Sachiro said, turning away from you, his gaze landing on the Christmas tree. “I want you to have what you deserve. When I have my own family someday, I don’t want you to be spending your Christmas all alone.”

You wanted to tell him everything. How much you loved him, how much you would do for him. How hard it was to move on, how hard it was to see his father moving on with someone else. But the words needn’t be said. At least, not for tonight. 

And then, just as quickly as the moment had come, it faded into a kaleidoscope of memories. The world around you shifted, and the warmth of the fire and the smell of Christmas began to dissolve. Suddenly, you were back in your bed, heart pounding recklessly in the darkness.

You woke up eyes wide in surprise, until the reality of your room finally made sense to you. You blinked, trying to steady yourself. It was a dream. It was all a dream. 

Sighing, you let your head fall into your hands. And just for a moment, you let yourself mourn the future you would never have. The family you would never see, the happiness you could never quite reach.

But as the soft glow of the Christmas lights flickered in the silent night, you slowly allowed yourself to breathe. Tomorrow would come. But tonight, you would let the dream linger just a little longer.

[richarlotte]

Modern Helen of Troy.

Delete the apps, and if you’re not willing to, PAUSE YOUR PROFILE. It’s too much; it’s exhausting, and chasing approval or attention on dating and hookup apps will tire you out faster than anything else. When I was on Hinge and Bumble, I was spiritually exhausted, and the best thing I did for myself was delete my profiles and focus on myself and the real world. Having a clean slate, clearing out your inbox and your conversations, and not having strangers barking at your door to be let in will help you rest. If you decide you can handle the apps or you want to have them, take your time and don’t agonize over the outcome.

 

You need to be in the gym or exercising 3 days weekly; my life became infinitely better when I had a workout routine, and moving my body helped alleviate so much of my tension and anxiety. 10,000 steps, proper meals, hydrating, and enjoying caring for my body helped change the way I viewed myself. A lot of people start working out, go hardcore with 7 days a week and intense cardio, and burn out fast. You don’t need to do that to be healthy or look good; a routine as simple as three days of the week and a consistent effort will get you right in no time at all. Consistency and a routine are what will win the race, not everything at first and then nothing at all.

 

You should work on maintaining friendships with people who uplift you and who you uplift in return. Your friends and partners can make the hardest times feel heavenly if they’re the right people; you must choose your friends wisely and then work on bettering and strengthening your relationships with each of them in 2025. In order to succeed, you need to have people around you, and you need to be willing to meet more people; you should be doing more and trying to experience more life, and you should be taking advantage of your youth. I wouldn’t have been able to come as far as I have without the help of my friends, and while isolation felt good to me at one point, loneliness is a beast one can’t battle alone.

 

Education is another essential thing to be focusing on throughout 2025, especially due to the period of time we’re living in. 2025 is all about improving our media literacy, getting diplomas and certifications, reading and writing more, becoming more articulate, learning more languages, and taking the time to relearn how to love learning. You are doing yourself a major disservice if you’re not keeping your mind sharp, learning new things, learning how to identify misinformation, and working on building up an understanding of the world around you. We as human beings were meant for lifelong learning, and if you’re not already doing something to sharpen your mind, now’s the perfect time to choose something fresh and get started.

 

2025 is also the time to work on gaining your independence, no matter your age. If you don’t know how to swim, don’t have your license, can’t ride a bike, don’t have a passport, don’t have a bank account, have never paid a bill, don’t know how to take public transit, or anything similar, now’s the time to get going. I read a great quote here on Tumblr about how you have to choose to wake up one day and take your independence, and I believe in it. Now is the perfect time to just start doing what needs to be done and learning along the way; you don’t need to be an expert, and you should feel no shame if you’re older and learning something new; you just need to be able to steer your ship out of troubled water if needed.

Richarlotte x

[nondelphic]

creatives, please use alt text

one of the first things i learned in journalism school was how to write alt image descriptions.

at first, it felt tedious. every single photo or graphic required a description, and if we skipped it—or wrote a lazy one—our professors didn’t hesitate to fail us. at the time, i didn’t fully understand why it mattered. but now, i’m so grateful they drilled it into us. if i’d never gone to journalism school, i might have never known how vital alt text is.

for those unfamiliar, alt text (short for “alternative text”) is a written description of an image. it allows people who use screen readers to know what’s in an image, making content accessible to those who are blind, visually impaired, or have other disabilities that prevent them from viewing images. you're basically translating visual content into words.

as creatives, whether we’re writers, artists, photographers, or meme page admins, we have a responsibility to make our work accessible. after all, what’s the point of creating something if a huge portion of your audience can’t engage with it?

why alt text matters

it ensures accessibility - a visually impaired person using a screen reader should be able to understand the context of an image just as easily as a sighted person.

it’s inclusive - adding alt text isn’t just for people with disabilities. sometimes, images don’t load due to bad internet, and alt text helps everyone understand what’s missing.

it’s good practice - if your work exists online, you want it to be as widely understood as possible. accessibility makes your content stronger.

okay, but how do i write alt text?

writing alt text isn’t as hard as it might seem! here are some tips:

be concise but descriptive - describe the essential elements of the image. what would someone need to know to get the gist of it?

include context - if the image is part of a larger story, explain its relevance. for example, “a black cat sitting on a pumpkin, used to illustrate a halloween-themed story.”

don’t overthink it - you don’t need to describe every pixel. just focus on the most important details.

alt text and ai tools

in the era of chatgpt and microsoft copilot, we’ve got a major advantage: ai tools can now generate alt text for you!

while these tools aren’t perfect and often need a bit of tweaking, they’re a great starting point. platforms like adobe, microsoft, and even some social media apps have built-in options for generating descriptions. if you’re overwhelmed by the idea of writing alt text from scratch, let ai do the heavy lifting, and then refine it.

a creative responsibility

alt text isn’t just for journalists or big companies, it’s for all of us.

as creatives, we have the power to make the internet a more inclusive place. whether you’re posting a masterpiece, a meme, or a picture of your cat, take a moment to add alt text.

adding alt image description is SO EASY and quick and we all need to get better at adding it to our posts. i, myself, am not perfect. on here, for example, i've been really bad about writing alt image descriptions, and it's something i'm very disappointed in myself for. (i hereby pledge to do better, and please call me out for lacking in the future!)

writing alt text is not only about respecting your audience, but it's also about recognizing disabled people's right to engage with your work.

accessibility isn’t optional !!

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Platonic Yandere Giorno and Adopted Mother (Bad seed inspired)

Familal Yandere Giorno X adopted mother reader

Warning: mentions of child abuse

They were his teacher when he started attending school. Alway kind to their students. They noticed he had trouble integrating and brought it up with his mother who assured them that he was fine. They believe that maybe he was just shy and needed time to get used to this.

His parents were often late to picking him up so darling watched him, eventually even tutoring him so that he could speak Italian better. Deep down they felt that something wasn't right but that wasn't enough to act on.

Eventually he started coming to school with bruises and welts. At first they asked his parents. He fell over they told them but it cleanly wasn't the case. So they stopped asking and took photos, eventually reporting it. They promised him that things would get better and that he needed to stay hopeful.

So when he was removed from his parents care they offered to foster him and were accepted. He was happy to be with them and so did they. For awhile it was only them, they even officially adopted him.

However around his early teens they met someone. All seemed well until their partner was caught cheating on them. Giorno was there to console them. Offered them everything he possibly could to help them. Mentally he vowed that he would never allow anyone to do this to his mother again.

Once again it was just the two of them and everything was fine until they decided to start dating again. Giorno didn't trust this person after the previous partner they had but stomached it for them. He did keep his eye out, even stalking their partner until he knew they weren't trustworthy. The partner disappears and once again Giorno was there to comfort them in their time of need.

Shortly after his stand fully manifests. Of course they are shocked and give him a light scolding about bleaching his hair, He should have told them first so they could have helped him. He doesn't argue it as how else is he able to explain it. They can't see any issues with the job so no harm, they even admit they like how his hair looks.

With hos newfound power he starts sabotaging any chance of a romantic relationship with them. One time they catch him going through their texts and quickly takes their phone off him.

"I need my privacy Giorno, I know you're worried but I can take care of myself" they tell him

Eventually his petty sabotaging doesn't work and you end up in another relationship. They can tell Giorno isn't happy with it but they assure him that their new partner is a good person.

Perhaps the new partner catches him doing one of his shady side hustles and does him to them. They are disappointed by him and try to deter him from doing it again. It becomes evident that the new partner wants him out of the picture. Constantly finding ways to get him in trouble and suggests they send him to a boarding school to "straighten him out" they do consider sending him for different reasons, wanting him to give him some more freedom and so that he'll have a good secondary education (as highschools in italy are more similar to university / college that you study for particular professions).

He respects their decision. But after he ends up as Don of Passione He kills the partner and uses his power to hide the body. This time she's has a feeling that her partner didn't leave on their own volition and the police get involved however it quickly becomes a cold case.

Eventually Giorno returns to tell them about his accomplishments they're horrified. They had tried so hard to keep him as far away from the mafia but now he's a Don. What ever happened to their sweet boy.

He tries to sway them over. Debts are cleared. He offers them new houses and cars. Gifts them with luxuries beyond their wildest dreams but to them it all Blood money.

He just wants his mother back, he's trying to repay her for everything they've done for him. He wants to know they're safe and he can't trust another to do so.

[gregorovitch-adler]

Never Leave Me Again

My eyes fluttered open after what felt like ages. After a moment of blurriness, I tried to make sense of my surroundings.

I found myself lying on the floor of the sitting room of 221 B Baker Street.

I must have fainted before.

Holmes was on his knees, towering over me from the left side.

Holmes. Mr Sherlock Holmes. My friend, my intimate companion, the only consulting detective in the world. The man the entire world thought to be dead.

Apparently, even death did not have a chance against him -- such was the power of my Holmes.

"Watson, my boy! Are you all right? You scared me to death for a good minute."

Something about his words ignited a fire in my heart. I clenched my fists in anger and frustration.

"Here I thought you were dead." I braced myself against the floor to be able to sit up. I grunted as I finally sat up straight.

Holmes looked down in embarrassment.

"Scared you to death, Holmes? Do you have any idea what I went through for these three years?" My eyes were welling up with tears.

I bent forwards to grasp his shoulder. Flesh and bones. I used my other hand to squeeze his shoulder properly, just to confirm that he was really there.

Holmes flinched in fear when I squeezed his shoulder. Did he really expect that I was going to beat him? It broke my heart to think he would even consider that a possibility.

"A thousand apologies, my dear Watson. I did not think you would be so affected."

"Why did you not? Did it not occur to you that you were my closest friend?"

"Of course, it did." Holmes' brow was furrowed. "I can assure you that you were not the only one who suffered all this time. I just thought that you would have moved on by now."

I moved a bit on the floor and wrapped my arms around Holmes to pull him in for an embrace. Holmes' arms were around my back now.

"Never." I swallowed hard. "I could never. Why would I even be here at Baker Street right now? I used to come here so many times a month, sometimes even daily, hoping you would come out of nowhere in front of me. I'm aware this was rather lunatic on my part. I could not help myself."

"You cannot imagine how many times I made up my mind and almost sent you a letter to inform you about my whereabouts. That would have been seriously lunatic of me, given how the situation related to Moriarty's network was at that time."

I gently held his head in my hand and pulled him closer. "You did not have to go through all that alone. I was right there with you that day. I always will be there with you."

"I know that, and I trust you deeply. I would never have forgiven myself, though, if something had happened to you because of me, or because of you being with me. I had to be alone."

I was not satisfied with his answer, but I decided to let it go for now.

We kept holding each other like this for a long moment.

"I am sorry."

I nodded in my reply. "How did you do it? There was no escape from the Reichenbach falls."

"I am exhausted right now, dear fellow. May I tell you about it later? I shall tell you the complete facts of the incidents over dinner."

My heart fluttered with joy at the sound of dinner together. I smiled and nodded as I let him go. "Promise me that you shall never leave me again."

Holmes took my hand in his own. "I will never leave you again. Now it's your turn to promise me something."

"What is it?" I asked, getting up from the floor to stand straight. Holmes did the same, and we were now facing each other.

"Move back in." His grey eyes were filled with hope.

"I will." His wish was my command. Always.

Holmes turned around and went to his old bedchamber.

I waited for him to disappear, and then I walked across the sitting room to look out of the window -- thinking about new beginnings with a broad smile on my face.

**

Prompt: Forgiveness by @fluff-cember

Tags: @lisbeth-kk @helloliriels @jamielovesjam @calaisreno @keirgreeneyes @totallysilvergirl @topsyturvy-turtely @peanitbear @gaylilsherlock , etc.

[wonsroyalty]

R.E.M 🌙

jay x f!reader

03 | dream guest on my youtube channel

You’d tried to wake Natty up but were met with a great level of resistance.

Now you were stood in Jay’s kitchen awkwardly looking at anything other than him.

As soon as he’d buzzed you up he asked you to reach into his pantry to get a bag of flour for his pancakes.

A jumpscare waited for you when you left the room, a man stood staring at you as if you were an alien he wanted to inspect.

“Wonie, move.” Jay sighed.

“Wonie?” you mouthed in confusion to yourself.

You placed the flour on the counter and opened your arms to hug Jay but the hug never came as you were pushed back by the forehead.

‘Wonie’ dashed around the counter to separate the two of you.

“Jungwon.” Jay shook his head.

Your eyes darted around the room, wiping your sweaty palms on your jeans as you slowly processed the embarrassment.

“What if she has a.. knife!” Jungwon held his hands up, surrendering to Jay’s glare.

“I don’t have a knife-”

“She’s not gonna have a knife..?”

Jungwon grabbed your hand then grabbed Jay’s opposite hand.

“Shake hands instead.” he pressed your palms together. “I don’t trust her yet..”

“Nice to meet you both, for Jungwon because I didn’t introduce myself, I’m Yn.” you smiled shaking Jay’s hand while looking at the strange boy.

“You’re really beautiful, you know.” Jay cheesed. “I would ask you to come see a movie with me, but I don’t want to get into trouble for bringing a snack.”

He winked.

You let go of his hands to cover your face.

“Oh my..” you laughed.

“Sorry about Jungwon, he’s a bit… skeptical with people he doesn’t know. He’ll be fine once he gets to know you!” Jay apologised. “He’s also my editor and roommate.”

“My editors also my roommate!” you gasped. “Well, more like my wife.. I pay her rent and she cooks me food.”

“Wife…? Yeah, no I don’t pay his rent, but I do cook him food!” Jay smiled.

“Can we hurry this up, The shoot isn’t gonna shoot itself.” Jungwon rolled his eyes.

You and Jay ate breakfast over the shoot for your video - a q&a with him about who he is and what inspired him to start his channel before moving onto the cooking needed for his video.

He planned for you to make his famous ‘Marry Me Chicken’, you weren’t sure if he was mocking you with the title but the video was running smoothly.

The chemistry between you two was definitely evident, lingering touches and gazes filled with admiration for the other. It genuinely felt like a love at first sight situation.

You leant against the counter while Jay cleaned the surface, blabbering about how your friend Sunghoon burnt down your old kitchen leading to your recent move.

“Yeah, he’s strange sometimes.” you grinned. “But- oh.”

Jay had accidentally swiped a spoon off the table.

You both reached for it at the same time, bumbling heads in the process.

Apologies tumbled out of your mouth rapidly but Jay grasped your own head before his.

“Are you okay?” he asked with concern laced in his tone.

You let your head bobble as he inspected you.

“I’m good, my heads ringing but it’s nothing serious.” you reassured. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay.” he nodded, going back to the task he was doing before.

You looked into the camera then looked away, rushing towards the oven as the timer beeped.

“You’re not in the office, Yn.” Jungwon tried to frown but the small smile on his lips showed he wasn’t actually annoyed.

“Natty would appreciate the gesture.” you laughed.

“Are you saying that she’s a better editor than I am?” Jungwon argued before walking up to the camera a making a cut symbol.

“She never said- ” Jay started.

“You’re both amazing in your own ways.” you sighed, plating up the meal for the three of you.

Jay grabbed forks for you to try what you had prepared. He swirled a portion of pasta with a fork a spoon before holding it out in front of your mouth.

“Hm..?” you hummed in confusion.

“Open!” he widened his mouth.

He pushed the fork into your mouth, studying your face for a reaction.

“Jay… this is so beautiful? How did you even come up with this recipe!” you beamed, savouring the attack of flavours on your tongue.

Jay gripped your shoulder, beaming with joy.

“I’m glad you like it, we did this together!” he squeezed carefully. “It was my grandmother’s recipe, she taught me how to make it as a kid.”

The two of you got lost in conversation about a series of topics stemming from Jay’s grandmother.

Jungwon cleared his throat then walked into the view and made a cutting sign.

“Right, right. Thank you for tuning in to another Jaybie video, don’t forget to tag me in pictures and videos of you all trying out my recipes, I hope to see you in the next one.”

He then motioned for you to step forward.

“Thank you guys for watching this video, I hope you enjoyed watching us. Remember - No matter where you are, just know that I love you!”

“That’s so cute.” he smiled.

“Oh, thank you.” you blushed.

“Say bye.” Jungwon grumbled.

“Bye!” the two of you waved at the camera.

࣪𖤐.ᐟ SYNOPSIS: when yn, a single mother to 900k+, describes a man she had a dream about, her fans set themselves on a mission to find said mystery man. what will jay do when he’s flooded with thousands of comments claiming that he’s the one..

previous | chapters | next

a/n: i experienced the WORST case of writers block while writing this omg 😭 it’s so bad 😞 and also sorry for the wait, ill drop the next chapter in a few hours 🤩

taglist: @right-person-wrong-time @i03jae @sol3chu @rikizm @samsayssam @vegahrid @myjjongie @super-amberlynn

[dragonfly0808]

TimeBomb (Fix-It?) Fic with a side of Zaun Revolution

The inspiration really hit today, I feel like I blinked and all of a sudden I had 7k of a new fic.

what is it about? Well…

Whilst I really enjoyed s2 of Arcane and I loved almost everything about it, I will admit there was one specific plot point I was really disapointed didn’t go anywhere and one character decision that I just couldn’t get behind.

First off; watching Arc 1/2 and especially episode 4 I was fucking pumped at the idea of a Zaun revolution plotline, and, since i watched the seasons back to back, I’ll be honest, watching episode 4 combined with the fact that in the opening credits we see Jinx waving a flag, my immediate thoughts were OH MY FUCKING GOD JINX IS GONNA LEAD A REVOLUTION AND FULLFILL SILCO’S DREAM OF AN INDEPENDENT ZAUN…

Obviously I felt like a clown when that did not happen

and then for the character decision… I’m not really a fan of the ‘you’re too far gone the only thing you can do now is sacrifice yourself for the greater good/to save someone’ character arc. Especially because I really wanted to see Jinx get better since, at the end of s1 her identity crisis is over, she choses Jinx and then I thought that maybe we could get maybe not a redemption arc but at least see her get better whilst staying partially chaotic

A part of me really likes what they did (up until her sacrifice) but a greater part of me is just- disappointed. Especially after the whole ‘No matter what happened in the past it’s never too late to build something new’ bit. It just felt a little cruel.

And i know of the Jinx is alive theory and I believe it but still- I just don’t like that this was the end for Jinx in Arcane, I would’ve loved to see her and Cait having to come to terms with both their crimes and what they allowed their respective grief to turn them into.

also Ekko didn’t deserve to end the series alone, not after everything he did and everything he gave up.

and so, with these two specific things in mind, pondering on it I found myself writing a little smth.

A fic that takes place right after the Stillwater breakout BUT- Jinx, Sevika and Isha escape before the Beast gets there AND Ekko returns from the alternate timeline early, pushing Jinx along with Sevika to convince her to be a part of the rebellion.

So far, I’ve got 7k words on this and I’m thinking on how to involve Vi (another thing is that I felt we should’ve gotten a bit more time with her) since, in my mind, the revolution of Zaun should’ve been led by Vi, Ekko and Jinx.

Ekko to represent the fight for the future and as the face of the Firelights.

Jinx to represent the fight for the present (since her arc would involve starting to heal and finding smth worth fighting for) and of course to also represent Silco and his dream

And Vi to represent the past (since a big part of her character is being stuck in the past) and Vander

Jinx and Vi get to right the wrongs of the past and join forces like Silco and Vander never got to! (Because why include that letter if nothing really came from it?) also, as a sister who’s had a lot of ups and downs with her big sister, I would’ve KILLED to get to see more of their new dynamic ‘Here’s to the new us’.

Also Isha lives because she deserved better and also Ekko gets to be her dad.

still unsure on how/if I incorporate Cait cause I LOVE her arc and would love to write her and Jinx/Ekko interacting

but yeah basically, this is a Timebomb fic with a heavy focus on Jinx becoming the leader of a revolution (since at first it’s more, Jinx is the symbol, Ekko is the brains. And maybe at some point it’s more like; Ekko is the heart, Jinx is the symbol/leader and Vi is the strength OR Ekko is the leader/brains, Jinx is the symbol/leader/face and Vi is the heart, you know cause- YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART DON’T EVER LOSE IT)

Also a big part of chapter 2 somehow wound up being a look into Sevika’s mindset and why she’s lowkey the biggest supporter of Zaun? So if you like Sevika I got you!

so uhh… yeah.

i’m thinking on the name and just to know what yall think, knowing what the focus would be what title do you think would work best?

Will prob start posting once I’ve got 5 chapters, which, if I keep up the pace will prob be in 2 or 3 days

also, should i tag it as Fix-It? Not sure if I should tbh

Here’s a few little peaks! A tiny part of Ekko convincing Jinx to be a symbol (that was a LONG scene)/Part of the speech that starts it all/Isha being adorable in the Firelight’s base

Ekko adjusted his coat on her, she hadn’t really noticed him getting close enough to do so, “I fought so long to make the undercity a better place, or to at least create a safe place in it, but I got so wrapped up in all the ways that we’ve been screwed over, failed, in all the ways that it wasn’t even half of what I’d dreamed of no matter how hard I tried that I was starting to lose hope. But seeing that world… it helped me realize that… no matter what happened in the past, it’s never too late to build something new.” 

Jinx forced herself to met his eyes, unsure of what to do under the weight of his soft eyes and the careful way he’d somehow gotten his hands in hers, stopping her from digging her nails into her palms.

“…someone worth building it for.”

Jinx felt something in her starting to crack, “I don’t know if I know how to build anything.”

“That’s alright,” he quickly assured her, his own eyes glittering with tears, “we can learn. This right here Jinx… this is our chance. I saw the murals, the posters, what you said back in the airshaft- if Piltover is targeting us… then maybe- just maybe, this could be our chance to bring all of the undercity together. To stand against Piltover, make them finally see us. I’m not saying we burn them to the ground but- we can fight back, fight for respect, for a seat at the table.”

Jinx took a step back, shaking her head, “I can’t- I’m not like you- I’m not a leader or- or some inspirational figure. They’re just desperate for anything to believe in. I’m not- I don’t deserve their faith.”

“But you’re the first to take a real stand in a long time. Sure it was an… explosive stand but a stand regardless. Directly against the Council, the people who have passed all the laws to try and make us less than them in the past. Who have had no trouble ignoring our struggles and claiming blissful ignorance when they screw us over. You have the chance to help bring people together. If we can stop killing each other over Piltover’s scraps and for territory… we can stand our ground. This could be the start of a rebellion. A revolution.”

“…I’ll screw it up. I always do.”

“You won’t… and if it does go wrong… it won’t be on you. We can do this Jinx, together.”

Jinx looked back out to the city line.

It’d been Silco’s dream.

To be recognized by Piltover. 

He hadn’t been able to bring Zaun together, sure, but everything he’d done had forced Zaun into progress… even if it wasn’t always in the best of ways. His biggest dream had always been of Zaun being it’s own nation.

It was the dream that’d been within his grasp, close enough to touch but that he had meant to reject in the end.

For her.

She’d bombed the Council as a way to honor him.

To finally show them all.

Everything had gone to shit the moment he was gone.

But now… now all of Zaun had a common enemy. 

There had been no singular group in Stillwater. Instead a coglamoration of Jinxers and Firelights and members from every gang Jinx knew of.

That meant that there had been no division at Sevika’s rally.

That for once, every part of Zaun had been open to the possibility of fighting for the same cause and had been promptly punished for it.

Jinx slowly turned back to Ekko.

Building something knew… he’d said Powder used her abilities to create instead of destroying… could she do the same?

Someone worth building it for… she thought of the hopeful look in Ekko’s eyes. Of the way the people of Zaun had, for a moment, embraced her, wrapping her in gratitude and misplaced but real hope as they passed by her. And of course, she thought of Isha, who deserved so much more than… this.

“I’m not saying I’ll be good at it… but I suppose I could give it a shot.”

Ekko reached out quickly, Jinx barely having time to flinch before he was tugging at her and-

Pulling her into a hug, all but crushing her against him, arms wrapped tightly against him.

She exhaled, falling against him, hiding her face against his chest.

They stayed like that for what was possibly an embarrassingly long time.

When she eventually managed to pull back, she turned away to wipe away her tears.

“So… how exactly does one start a revolution?”

—————————

“This is the time to stand together!” Ekko’s voice came as he stepped out from the crowd, wearing his firelight mask, going to take it off as he went to stand next to Sevika, “To leave aside the labels and separation and to work together, it’s the only way we’ll survive what’s coming next. Piltover wants us divided. They have always benefited from us killing each other, being at each other’s throats, fighting for territory and for their scraps. Not anymore! We need to stand together! To show them that we will not backdown! That they can’t invade our streets, our homes and expect us to just lay down and take it! That-”

“Where is Jinx?!” Demanded a voice, thought she couldn’t tell exactly where it came from.

Ekko sighed, casting a glance her way, waiting.

Jinx took a deep breath.

“Right here!” She called out as she went to take off her cloak, the people around her quickly going to clear a path as she sauntered on forwards, stopping next to Ekko for a moment before going to stand on the metal box Sevika had left on the floor, “You wanted to see me? Well here I am!”

Most of the crowd gathered around her, after a moment of stunned silence, started applauding, whilst some other looked like they wanted nothing more than to shake her and ask her what exactly her plan was.

Jinx glanced to Ekko, who gave her a quiet encouraging nod.

Welp, she didn’t really have anything to lose.

“Now… I don’t know much about leading, or about being some- revolutionary… but I do know about fighting. And I know about Piltover’s crimes.”

She recalled all of Silco’s sermones and every story and complaint he ever told her about all Piltover had and constantly took for granted.

This had never been her dream. But it had been her dad’s. And maybe it had started becoming her own the moment Isha had dropped into her life.

“I know that Enforcers have killed hundreds of us, a lot of times, for no good reason other than to show us that we are lesser than them, for us daring to stand up for ourselves, for doing what we gotta do to survive. That they have thrown dozens of us in cells without a trial just because they can. But the second we lay our hands on a single one of their precious Council members they suddenly have the right to invade our streets? To cry for justice to be delivered? It’s bullshit!”

A lot of them started nodding along, she could see the anger rising up in them.

——————————

Jinx took a deep breath before gently placing Isha on the railing, keeping a hand on the back of her vest, “Look at that kid. You like it?”

Isha’s eyes widened in a way that would’ve been comical if it weren’t heartbreaking. This was probably the first proper tree she’d ever seen.

Jinx set her down on the floor and the girl started jumping from foot to foot, clearly thrilled.

Ekko chuckled as he went to crouch down, “You see that platform to the right?” He asked as he pointed, Isha following before nodding, “That’s where the kids we have here play. We even managed to get our hands on some Piltover toys if you wanna go check it out. Jinx and I will be by the base of the tree if you need us.”

Isha hesitated, going to grab Jinx’s leg.

The girl had gotten a lot more confident since Jinx had first met her but it was obvious she had some anxiety about being apart.

Jinx went to crouch as well, gently running her thumb over Isha’s eyebrow before playfully pinching her cheek, Isha trying to act annoyed and push her away but smiling, “You should go kiddo. See if they got any good stuff. I’ll be right down there, I’m not going anywhere without you.”

Isha inspected her for a long moment before nodding along, adjusting her metal helmet as though it were armor before starting to make her way towards the platform.

“She seems like a good kid.” Ekko said.

“She is. She’s the best.”

[kiwikisses]

𝕃𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕖𝕪 ℕ𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕤

'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'

Fem!reader x Idol!Bangchan

Summary: Chan has been coming home late every night for the past month but suddenly comes home early and catches you doing something…

Warnings: Bondage, Cum control, Oral (M receiving), He calls himself a good boy, Cock Ring, Restraint, Ropes/Tying up, Sub!Chan, Dom!reader, lmk if I missed any!

Word Count: 2k

A/N: This one kinda sucks but I was trying to find a ff like this with Chan tied up and i fricking couldn’t so I wrote one myself. I hope yall like it😣. Also i would love more recs! If you have something you want to write about just ask!!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Recently Chan has been spending a lot of time at work. You've tried to convince him to take some days off, but he won't listen. He’s been coming home really late every night since the beginning of the month. It makes you overthink, but you also know that he would never do anything like that to you.

It was just like every other night, staying up, and waiting for Chan impatiently. It was only 9:00 PM. And he usually gets home at around 11-12 at night.

Today was a particularly hard day, all you could think about was Chan. Neither of you haven't done anything with each other for almost a month now. You’re starting to think about his touch, the way his hands glide across your body. His voice in the back of your head, "C'mon Y/N, please".

All day at work you sat at your desk, thinking about everything you have done with him. The two of you have always been open with the kinds of things you like doing in bed. There was always one thing you wanted to try, but you figured Chan wouldn't like it because he tends to be the dominant one.

You sit on the couch and turn on the TV to pass time and get your mind off of your sick thoughts. It’s been a cycle of him coming home then going straight to bed after saying hi to you, so you haven't really gotten the chance to ask him about it.

9:30PM

Fuck this is gonna be a long night without you Chan...

It feels wrong watching videos with bondage and cum control on other men, but you wanted to be able to give Chan the best experience you could if he would ever allow you to do it to him.

You move over to the counter and grab your laptop, pulling up the usual website you use and watch a video of a man, tied in a chair, his hands behind his back, and a cock ring on his dick.

The man's face wasn't in frame, and he was built pretty similarly to chan. Your face was getting hot thinking about it, you wanted to ask Chan about it. Desperately. But, he was always home late and tired, so you didn’t want to disturb him.

9:45PM

It's only been 15 minutes?

Time felt so slow when you had nights like these, fantasizing about Chans reactions as you took control over him.

Suddenly, you hear the clicks in the door, Click Click. The door opens and Chan walks in, you were in shock that he was already home. So much so that you forgot to close your tabs.

You went over to the door to greet Chan with a hug, joy overcoming you seeing him this early. “I finally had some time left over to come home early, love” he said with a warm smile.

Chan walks over to the counter to set down his bag and sees your computer that was left open. The paused video on the screen was still open, revealing to him what you do while he’s not home.

“Oh? What’s this hm?” His gaze shifting from the computer to you. Realizing you’ve messed up you quickly close the laptop.

You look at Chan innocently, “Uh, that wasn’t me I-I-“ Chan cut you off by meeting his lips into yours, giving you gentle kisses to let you know he’s not angry.

Chan breaks the kiss and looks at your face, his expression changed from soft to lustful, “What is this love? Is it something you want?” You look away out of embarrassment , it’s not that you didn’t what him to know but this wasn’t the way you wanted him to find out you were into this kind of thing.

“Chan, I-I really wanted to tell you..but you’ve been so busy lately I just haven’t had the chance…”

He walks over to the kitchen table and grabs one of the chairs and brings it to the center of the living room. He proceeds to sit down, “Well?” You sheepishly smile and head towards the bedroom, grabbing lube, red rope, and a cock ring. When you walk out with the materials chan is a little surprised, not by the lube or the rope, rather the cock ring. Chan has never used one with you nor has he ever owned one.

���Where did you get that?” you had spontaneously bought the cock ring one night while you were having one of those nights, and hoped you’d be able to use it with him one day. “well… I was bored without you one night and I kinda thought… about you wearing one…” You lowered your tone as you said the last bit. You didn’t want him to see into your mind of fantasies. He smiles at you as you put the things on the floor beside him.

He takes off his pants and boxers in one swift motion, then moving on to his shirt, his body always got you. The way he just looks so effortlessly good gets you every time.

He sits back down and puts his hands behind his back, ready to be tied. Chan looks so hot when he’s submissive, his eyes just have a certain look in them as if he’s asking for more.

After you finish tying him up you put the cock ring on his shaft, his semi-hard cock twitches from the feeling of your fingers working around him. “Ready Chan? I wont do this if you don’t want me to.”

“please Y/N, don’t let me leave this chair until I have tears rolling down my cheeks.” You give him a smile as you head over to grab a second chair from the table so you’re comfortable.

You place the chair so facing him, giving you enough space to touch him and see his expression. Chan has the best expressions when he’s is in pleasure.

You take his hard nipple into your mouth, your tongue going back and forth on his bud. He lets his head fall back, little mmm’s coming from him. His body is overly sensitive. Your hand roams around his body, going to his V-line to tease his now hard cock. “Fuck Y/N, why are you such a tease.”

“I’m the tease? What about all these nights you’ve been leaving me alone to please myself without you?” He has a look of need on his face, his eyes watching your hand getting closer to his dick. His abdomen twitching every time you rubbed down to his shaft.

Your eyes meet his as you take his dick into your hand. Moans are slipping from his lips, he hasn’t touched himself or been touched in a while. He’s missed the way you touch him. “Mmm, Y/N..” His eyes are focused in your hand, you tease around his tip, rubbing your finger along his slit, forcing moans out of him. “Tell me when you’re about to cum okay?”

He closes his eyes and throws his head back, you lean forward and kiss his adam’s apple, the sound of his little whimpers filling the room. “I-I’m close..” His body squirms round, his hips bucking as you remove your hand. His hips keep fucking into the air hoping for a release. After he calms down and relaxes you go back to stroking him.

Your hand moves slowly up and down his cock, the rope around his wrists holding him down from trying to give himself release, “Patients Chan, you need to wait. You need a little punishment for leaving me alone for so long.” He whimpers in frustration as you slow your pace down even more. Your hands lifts from his cock, his hips chasing after your hand. His head falls back, his moans growing louder.

“Please Y/N, I-I’m s-sorry, please let me cum..” Looking into your eyes he begs for release, you want to give it to him but the way his body is moving from your touch, his body twitching, his hips moving with your strokes. You just couldn’t help yourself from wanting to see him like that forever. His submissive side was always your favorite thing. Chan has the best facial expressions when he’s being lost in his own pleasure.

“You need to be good Chan, earn it.” He groans, tears starting to form in the outer corners of his eyes. “Please I-I’ll be a good boy, I didnt mean to..” You smile at his response, your speed picking up again, using your other hand to place your palm on the tip of his cock. The feeling of your palm on his tip along with how fast you’re stroking him makes him cry out your name.

“Ngh I-I’m closed Y/N..” You stop touching him completely, he tries to chase his high again but fails. “Fuck Y/N I cant take it anymore.” You reach for his tip and tease his slit, his dick twitching here and there. His breathing starts getting heavier, his chest rising and falling at a fast pace.

Chans eyes are watering from being edged three times, the tears close to falling. You watch his expression, making sure that he is okay with everything still.

Finally a tear falls from his eye and rolls down his cheek. You had already decided in your mind that when he was crying for release, like he said earlier, then you’d let him cum.

“Since you’ve been so good for me chan, you can cum. But you have to promise you wont leave me to touch myself all alone again okay? Can you do that?” He shakes his head yes, the tears falling down to his jaw. He watches your hand go up to his cock, you make sure to keep your pace steady this time.

The ropes restrain his body as he tries to reach for his dick to finally let go. His hips are in rhythm with every stroke you make, “I-I’m gonna cum Y/N…C-Can I cum?” You nod yes and start stroking his cock faster, his moans becoming rapid, his body tenses and his breathing becoming louder and faster.

You put your mouth up to his cock head, you’ve been needing to taste him.

With a final stroke he cums in your mouth. White strings shooting into your throat, the warm white fluid filling your mouth. You kiss his tip, making sure to get every drop of him.

“It’s all out mm~…” He hisses with every stroke, his body pulling him forward every time you moan on his dick.

You bring yourself off of his cock and stroke him a few more times before getting face to face with chan. “You did so good, Chan.” He leans forward and kisses you, the taste of his cum on your tongue transfers to his.

You reach behind him and untie his wrists. The rope falls off his body, little red marks appearing where the rope was sitting. “I’m sorry Chan…Did it hurt where the ropes were? You should’ve told me.” You frown at the marks as you run your finger over them.

“It didnt love, I kinda liked the way it felt to be restrained.” He smiled and took you into his arms. You both always cared about after care, especially Chan, he really valued giving you aftercare.

You escape his grasp to take off the cock ring, trying to get him more comfortable. “Would you like to go take a shower together and clean up?” You say as you gather the ropes that were discarded on the floor.

You both share a smile and head toward the shared bedroom and get ready to shower, “Just wait love, I’ll get you back.”

You scoff as you take off the last of your clothes, “I’ll have you crying my name.” Chan had a more serious tone, his dominant side makes you a little nervous sometimes but you low key love how rough he is when hes frustrated about something. “I can’t wait for it then.”

[jolapeno]

things that i wrote

tagged by @secretelephanttattoo, here's my review of 2024.

[please note my tootathon can be found here with everyone's lovely additions]

FRANCISCO MORALES remains the top written guy over here at home pepper.

we had not one, but two series throughout 2024: do me yourself [thank you every day to @secretelephanttattoo for this one.] with me creating the ig pieces to complement it here. AND, the new brainrot with no strings attached - with season one now complete and a sequel planned for 2025.

i also wrote a ton of oneshots for him, some found here, but notable faves include fifteen hundred and one (for @guiltyasdave challenge), 24 hours and festive encouragement.

it wouldn't be me if JAVIER PEÑA didn't get some love. we have an undercover/fake marriage wip called let us pretend (which WILL finish in 2025, i promise). but we also had oneshots like: epistolary sex diary 'the man who returned home', there's nothing blue about you (a personal fave because of how beautiful the moodboard from @studioghibelli was), in my room and my wonderful vamp!javi three-part in bite me nicely plus lots of others.

for JOEL MILLER i experimented more with no-outbreak, meaning we had the lovely him.he.joel, don't move honey and bar!miller in give me a sign. my little five-part series honey stained hands also finished and while this was purely an indulgent thing, i loved every second of it when i rambled to lots of you.

i also began writing NEW people this year with DIN DJARIN planet hopping in this collection and LUCIEN DE LEON with his girl who just won't admit she likes him in meets in sequence, a third part is also planned for 2025.

outside of all of this, i finally TAUGHT myself to properly GIF and i began making more moodboards, whether for myself here or for others. you can find all my creations here.

but, on top of all of this, here's some fave 2024 moments:

i had the chance to wrap my arms around @thetriumphantpanda and @luxurychristmaspudding

@goodwithcheese talked me off many ledges (literally, her voice is so nice you lot), had virtual coffee dates with me and also spoilt me rotten. she also cares so little when i send her podcast-length things.

@secretelephanttattoo plotted a DIY guy that ended up taking over our lives for six months?!

i pushed myself with writing more of WHAT i wanted to write

@fuckyeahdindjarin's beautiful creations from pencils to post-its to a journal sit pretty on my desk

i survived the summer 2024, and i am still waiting for my t-shirt

i partook in so many fun fandom challenge, ones of them being pedroscouts and summercamp by @goodwithcheese, and because of that experience i got to know so many people and become good friends with @jennaispunk

i read SO much wonderful things, and all of that is here organised as beautiful as possible

for work, i studied and passed an exam, wrote an assignment and have one more to complete in 2025

my mental health hit a new level of rock bottom, but we were brave and got help and now i AM THRIVING

i fell out of love, back in, then out and back in love with my writing a lot, but continued on because i do actually really love writing

i began writing an original, got to 40k, realised my heart wanted it to be something else (hehehe) and began writing a NEW original that is so hauntingly beautiful and is about a woman handling grief

i laughed a total of three million times with friends, i smiled when i never thought i could and i felt so impossibly full of love from you all here

i kissed my corgi a billion times (which still doesn't feel enough)

i sang in my office, i danced alone, took a thousand walks to plot ideas and i spent several, many nights hunched over my laptop doing what i love: writing.

2025, let's be havin' ya

if you've been tagged, feel free to do your own. and I'm tagging some more people:

@milla-frenchy @pedgito @mothandpidgeon @yopossum @whocaresstillthelouvre

[ikamigami]

You know what?

I think that Sun will have a huge mental breakdown.. someday.. in the future..

"But how when he just got better and dealt with Nexus' hallucination?" you may ask..

It's because I think that he doesn't realize that he slowly integrates his self-blame and accepts it as something true..

See how he still feels like July 16th was his fault even if he's fully aware of what actually happened..

And now he'll falsly believe that it was mainly his fault that Nexus became the way he was.. that Nexus never liked him because he was awful to him..

When it's not true.. but Sun will never learn that Nexus was so worried about his well-being.. Sun will never learn that Nexus saw him as his light..

To me it seems that Sun slowly accepts that his guilt is true.. that things are his fault.. hence he has to apologize for everything others accuse him of.. because it's true..

But in reality he's doing a lot more damage to himself by accepting what Nexus told him as the truth and apologizing for it..

He actually should realize that he holds too much guilt..

But he doesn't even see that.. because he's unaware of this.. he's unaware of how much his guilt isn't normal..

I wonder how long he'll be able to act like everything is normal till he break..

But maybe Moon will realize that something is wrong with Sun.. that the guilt Sun feels isn't normal..

Maybe Moon will do something about it because he heard what Sun was talking about with Nexus in his head because he was speaking out loud as both sides..

Maybe just maybe Moon will see that something isn't okay..

You can say that I'm saying nonsense and trying to see cracks that aren't there..

But the truth is that you should feel guilty only for things that you did and realize how much they affected others.. because Sun wasn't sole reason for how Nexus turned out to be.. because when Nexus told him that one time that Sun refuses to see him as a different person Sun stopped speaking about Moon and the past..

Even if Sun was the reason to why Nexus lost it.. it wasn't because of something that Sun did actually.. it wasn't actually Sun's fault..

I think that Sun will start to feel and think that maybe he should admit that all the other things were his fault and that he should apologize for everything..

I don't see what Sun did as something 100% positive.. because he admits that everything that Nexus accused him of is true when it's not..

Sun shouldn't accept that his guilt is true because apologizing for something that isn't true won't do any good.. like Sun should say that he's sorry for not realizing how some of his words and actions affected Nexus.. but he should also say that he tried his best.. that Nexus never gave him opportunity to normally talk things out..

But he didn't do that.. Sun says that he's doing this for himself.. but he doesn't even realize anymore what is and isn't his fault actually..

Sun wasn't constantly comparing Nexus to Moon.. others were.. but not Sun..

And I think that what would help Sun more would be just getting out all of his feelings to Nexus about everything..

Maybe I misunderstood something from the episode so please correct me if I'm wrong..

I just don't think it's right that Sun just accepted all of Nexus' accusations as something true and apologized for that without saying that "hey I tried my best and I didn't make you a villain.. yes I didn't realize how my words and actions affected you for which I'm truly sorry.. but I never intended to hurt you.. and you never allowed me to explain myself.. I never felt like I could normally talk to you about all of this.."

Maybe it's just me.. but I think that how Sun went about it won't help him in the long run and sooner or later he'll have a mental breakdown because his immense guilt will crush him..

[alzys]

We have survived 2024.

This last year has been a roller coaster of emotions and new things for everyone in one way or another, good and bad things has happened equally all this past 12 months, but we have reached this point

I just wanna wish all my friends and those who get to see this, a happy new beginning of the year, i am truly a lucky one to be the one to say this.

Happy new year! For more to come!

[Cut bellow of me rambling a little bit]

For me, i have gotten the opportunity to meet new and wonderful people that i would never imagine to meet, seriously, i don't know where to start, everyone of you has brain worms

Every single one of you has more arstistic talent that what i could do in an entire lifetime, i almost envy that, seriously. I have been here for half a year or so and without you guys i wouldn’t have gotten so far into brainworms

[Tags]

@amimuu @ditzyclown

@canadianno @bvnny-skvllzlz

@sock-kaleidoscope @wolsalwastaken

[The section where i love you all]

Ami:

La Vaca Lola! No but seriously, i have found myself sometimes looking at your gay blog to see your art, i just love it, also i have discovered you were the one who did the first cotl comic that dragged me here, soooo thanks?

Ditzy:

Mexican Menace, i will put you under a vase and shake it, i would see their art all day if i was able to, love them lots, now i will figure out the way i can explode you with my mind

Copper:

The first person and blog i meeted via being the funny anon guy, love them lots, would eat their art any day of the week

Bunny:

I haven't really had the time to tell you but i am IN LOVE with your world, characters and art, 20/10 i would put every single art you have made into a collection

Sock:

Absolute silly, would poke you with a stick and study them to detail, the DM of the DND campaing, i love them lots, if something happens to Sock i will kill everyone in this room and then myself. (One day i will finish the last EX round i swear)

Wolsal:

The edgiest silly i have meet (/pos) i would put your art in my wall and stare at it, they are technicality the one to blame for me getting into DMAU, i gotta study you one day

I am so grateful to have meet all of you through this last few months, it has somehow felt shorter and longer that just that, love you guys

This is the most i can do to convey my feelings for you all i just hope i didn't went with way too much text

What i am talking about i have seen Sal do alot more text with one post, i really just love this stupid skeleton image (/lh) (/pos)

By the way i know its still not New Year still but the worms won the battle

Besides i wanted you to see this before new year

[plutobutartsy]

omg ppl really don't lie when they say your life can drastically change for the better in a short amount of time, don't let depression tell you otherswise

[cent-scratchnsniff]

l-o-v-e l-o-v-e

[skibasyndrome]

.

[donnieisaprettyboy]

2014 - realized I liked girls but began desperately trying to “pray the gay away”

2016 - stopped believing in Christianity as I began to better accept my sexuality

2020 - publicly came out as bisexual, and shortly after my gender crisis began

2021 - nonbinary ? we’ll run with it, I’m experimenting! I’m playing with it! I’ve been in college for a year so now I have the room to try some things out!

2023 - my first pride parade! and the gender crisis continues on…. I would really love more masculine features… a deeper voice is my dream… I see men with flat chests and I get so envious. maybe I’m trans?

2024 - FINALLY allowing myself to use multiple labels that feel right! nonbinary, transmasc, genderfluid, genderqueer, they all feel like ME! planning on starting HRT after I get married and get onto my fiancé’s health insurance. plan on getting married in a wedding dress because THAT’S WHAT I WANT! because gender is not a strict binary and I am allowed to play with it however I want! my gender is not for the pleasure or comfort of anyone else! I got to experience my SECOND pride finally feeling content with myself and my identity! I’m happy! I’m so happy :)