#i have my gamecube and we already had the wii so like im pretty much set man

[localgardenweed]

Thinking about how my mother’s like 20 year old Gameboy Advance SP still survives to this day and got drenched in plant pot water and still works afterward and only really has a led light problem like holy shit bro is a fucking TROOPER

I wanna start bringing it around more, I did for a while but i didn’t have a good case to care it till I JUST FOUND ONE IN A DRAWER LIKE WHAT THE HELL HOW COME NO ONE EVER TOLD ME??? Its yellowed and i wanna clean it up but like damn its a good as case. Its a side zipper though i dont like that but like it does a good job keeping it safe. But that shit built like the nokia phone man. Also saw that there was like a hip clip case when you could whip it out like a fucking gun bro that was so cool i need one of those

I wanna get some stuff for my ds lite but idk if i should fix it up first cause…yall have seen it…its a little fucked up and most people say to just buy a new one than spending more money to fix it and i probably should but like the emotional value man. I cant replace it!! It’ll get jealous!!! But either way that shit need like some sort of protection cause that thing is HANGING LITERALLY HANGING ONTO DEAR LIFE

My retro gaming collection continues to grow, and soon i will radiate epic swag im telling you man imma be the coolest kid on the block

[endwalkr]

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

[bensopinionsonvariousthingsblr]

Top 5 favorite games

Alright so here is the second, part I’ve been spending a lot of time working on this whole thing so I hope you enjoy! 

 Number 5:The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap                                                Developer and Release year: Nintendo, 2004 Japan, 2005 NA                            What it can be played on: GBA/ Wii U Virtual Console 

       So I’m not gonna pretend like 4 of my top 5 picks aren’t Zelda games, that being said the Minish Cap is a game I played more recently, around last year, and at first after beating it I sort of just put it in my top 20, I loved it yeah, but I never really thought about it until now that, even though it was short, every thing about this game was solid and fun to me, the shrinking mechanic was challenging but very well done aesthetically, and the story was good, with the relationship between Link and Zelda, them being childhood friends and Link doing whatever it takes to have his friend back, and the villain Vaati was interesting in his relationship with the Minish (The inhabitants of the tiny world) and his final boss fight being very difficult for me, and the story wraps up nicely as usual, all in all it was a Zelda experience that I truly loved, and my favorite 2D Zelda game.

 Favorite part(s): Definitely the Aesthetic and design of the tiny world, and all the charm around the entire game

 Number 4:Sonic Adventure 2                                                                                  Developer and Release year: Sega, 2001                                                              What it can be played on: Dreamcast/Gamecube/PC/PS3/XB360    

 There it is, probably the most controversial pick on this entire list, unless maybe the next one is too i dont know, but I am a Sonic fan, which is something sort of rare these days, unless you like Mania which is pretty awesome but I’m more of a 3D guy, but this game is my favorite Sonic game because, even though the story is confusing I love it, it was dark and i legitimately felt like Dr.Robotnik was actually a major threat. There are 3 types of gameplay, the Classic Sonic/Shadow, The treasure hunting, and the robot/mech levels that make up the game, the best is the Classic gameplay of Sonic and Shadow, that usually isn’t up for debate, the other modes are pretty fun, but I love the game for the Sonic/Shadow levels, and the game to me really picks up on the Space Colony Ark in the Final Act. The *spoilers ahead* part where Shadow (who I forgot to mention is one of my favorite characters and not because I’m an edgy frick) turns to Sonic’s side and fights the Biolizard to buy them time, Shadow’s character arc was amazing in this game, and the final boss was really fun too, not to mention the soundtrack i mean, it’s a sonic game of course there’s a good soundtrack.

 Favorite part(s): Shadow the Hedgehog, his levels, character arc, and general mystery surrounding the black and red anti-hero was amazing to me. 

 Number 3:The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword                                                  Developer and Release year: Nintendo, 2011                                                        What it can be played on: Wii/Wii U virtual console   

 I have defended this game in so many tweets and irl debates it’s incredible, Skyward Sword released to a 10/10 from IGN (that doesn’t matter to me much but it is an accolade) a 93 Metacritic score, which I do care about since it is an overall score and even got some Game of the Year awards in a year where Skyrim, Portal 2, Minecraft, Mario Galaxy 2, and many more were up for contention, but that proves nothing I just wanted to prove that I have argued about it enough that I know what I’m talking about. The main problem everyone has with this game is the motion controls, they say they are not accurate or don’t work, which can sometimes be true but, Scott Falco (he makes the “”with a side of salt series which he has some very good opinions on) says it the best, he said that he didn’t like it sitting down just waggling the wii remote, you’ve gotta stand up and play, then you fell immersed like YOU are the one doing it and not the wii remote, that is what i agree with and stand by anyway. Now past those criticisms I don’t think there are many more, some people don’t like the story, but to me this game has the BEST story in maybe any game I’ve ever played, the Link and Zelda relationship is better than any other game in my opinion and only Breath of the Wild comes close to that relationship in my opinion, now, the rest of the story is intriguing too, the origin of the master sword (I’m not going to comment on Fi, some people got too annoyed with her to focus on her amazing character arc in my opinion) the existence of Skyloft and the very first Link, Zelda, and Ganon in the form of Demise, all of it was done well and was very interesting to me. I liked the gameplay too, I think the new sprinting and stamina system was revolutionary to the series and made movement a lot more improved from previous entries in the franchise. The final act with the boss battle with Ghirahim and eventually Demise were very cinematic and awesome, and with Zelda’s life on the line during the whole thing it made it just that much more intense. 

Favorite part(s): THE STORY, I can not say enough how much I love the story but also I loved the boss battles,  Demise,Ghirahim,The Ancient Automaton, and all of them were fun to me.

 Number 2:The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild                                              Developer and Release year: Nintendo, 2017                                                        What it can be played on: Switch/Wii U   

  This game is a new staple in the Zelda series, the highest selling of all time, a new open world, a Game of the Year winner in almost all the awards shows, and even still people love to pick on this game a little bit, with all the weapon-breaking criticisms, and I know that can get annoying, but it does add a new layer of difficulty to an already difficult game, anyway Breath of the Wild was first known as Zelda for the Wii U, and it was revealed with a trailer at E3 2014 and was slated for release in 2015, of course it got pushed back and with Nintendo now finished with the switch they announced Breath of the Wild as a launch title, March 3rd, 2017 will always be one of my favorite days of all time, as I got my switch and had the first mainline Zelda game release as a fan of the series, and I did NOT stop playing it that night until about 1 AM (thats a rookie number now i mean c’mon I tweeted at 3 AM last night then went ahead and watched a movie) which was super late for me at the time though and I went to bed ecstatic about the game, I had gotten to a part where the story was starting to go forward and I couldn’t wait to finish it, about 6 or 7 days later I did and BOI let me tell ya I loved every second of that week, the gameplay is smooth and fun with combat being re-invented and then the Guardians were really fun because up until the end i didnt know about the shield thing so I would just bash them with all the brute force i had, the final boss fight was incredible (thats a common theme with my favorite Zelda games) and the Dark Beast Ganon fight was really atmospheric and entertaining as well and the ending with the re-uniting of Link and Zelda was so well done and just makes for a perfect ending.

Favorite Part(s): I loved the massive open world and all the secrets and new enemies and shrines to discover, it just made my time playing the game very enjoyable! Plus everything else like the story and the combat.

Number 1:The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker                                                Developer and Release year: Nintendo 2002 JP/2003/ 2013 HD                            What it can be played on: Gamecube/Wii U

  The Wind Waker. My unwavering favorite game for who knows how long now, the first Zelda game I ever finished and my introduction to great single player games as a whole really. The Wind Waker released in December in Japan and followed up the next year World Wide, the art style of the cell-shaded characters had never been seen before in a Zelda game and people were skeptical about whether or not it would go down well. Well it released and the people of December in Japan and of March World wide were very pleased with the game and loved it for its gameplay, story, vast ocean and many islands to explore with many hours of gameplay to be put in discovering everything the game had to offer, as for me i wouldnt get to play it for a while longer considering i was VERY young at the time of its release, so I would get to play it when it re-released for the Wii U in 2013, about ten years after the release of the original, I didnt get it though until Christmas of 2015 (or 2014 Im not honestly sure) but it wasnt even my gift, as I’ve said before it was my brother’s and i just watched him play it for a bit and tried it myself after being intrigued, and I dont know if I stopped very much over the course of the time I played it, I was challenged by the puzzles, and from the very opening at Outset Island I loved the art style and loved the characters in the story, with the new unique take on Zelda as Tetra, having Link sailing instead of walking, heck even having Hyrule not even the setting (for most of the game anyway) was new to the series and as my first 3D Zelda game I was captivated by all of it, everything about my favorite franchise now was fresh and new and thats something I’ll never get to experience again which is probably why I remember and still play the Wind Waker which such a fondness today, because of how new everything was to me and how much I enjoyed all of it, not to mention the final boss fight (here we go again) was and is still my favorite, with the world being submerged around you and you and Zelda enclosed with no way out other than through Ganondorf, the games story as always (I hate how repetitive I am) ended very well and to this day it remains one of my favorite stories ever told, and I don’t know if anything will be able to top this game just because of the time in my life in which I got to experience it and with how solid the game as a whole is.

Favorite Part(s): The Wide-open sea and the islands are all so cool and creative, plus the Final boss fight still stands as my favorite to this day.

Thanks a TON for reading through all of this, I had started work on it some time last year and got super busy doing other things during all this time but it really means a ton to me that people would actually care enough to read what I write, or even just skim it, 

                                                         Thanks -Ben :)

[this-blog-should-not-exist]

It’s a blog for a reason

Idk if i’ll keep up with this actually or not but its a blog for a reason, they’re places were you can talk about whatever the fuck you want. I said Id do the same thing with my personal blog but also I follow some friends on that blog and they probably don't want to hear about the stuff I get up to or my little depressive episodes. I mean sure they’ll show their concern but that only goes so far I guess. 

Idk I mean it’s just a place for me to talk, I once started a google docs document where I had the idea to start writing like a guide? i guess you could call it but where I would write the name of someone I knew, one of my friends, a family member, ex boyfriends, whoever then I would create an entry of who they were, their interactions with me, my relationship with them and what I thought of them or their like defining character traits or actions that stood out to me. The benefit with this though I guess is that I can just type whatever comes to mind as i type it. Sometimes it could be organized and tie into older posts if I keep up with it or it could just be on the fly stories and recollections of thing that have happened to me or what I’m feeling at the time. Ive meant or at least had the idea to actually physically write this or start a journal where I could do the same thing but that would take me much longer to do where typing I can do much faster and get more thoughts out. Plus writing for so long and about so much makes my hand hurt after a while and I can’t talk about all I wanted to because I can't keep writing. I don't have that problem with typing XD

I guess I could start with some recent events that have been on my mind. So I guess about like 2 months ago? I had gotten a Tinder. That in itself was an event XD Ive always been both curious and scared of it because in my mind meeting someone on tinder doesn't feel as genuine when meeting someone by chance or passing or words between friends to meet someone new. But I had gotten one and within a few weeks I had made quite a few matches, however none of them seemed really into it. Half of them never messaged me back and only seemed to be there for the sake of getting a match, others may have talked back but didn't seem interested in trying to start something or meet up for a date. I had finally gotten one guy to go on a date with me, I had never really talked to him but Ive seen his face around because we had some friends within the same social group but like I said, never really met or talked to him only seen him on like instagram before. We had gone on one date and texted a bit but he just wasnt for me. I called him a “real flower child” is the best way I can describe it. Now I don't mean to offend anyone but also who the fuck is gonna read all this, this is only my first like text blog post no one really cares its more for me to get this out. Anyway I call him a real flower child because he's very outdoorsy and loves nature and Lana Del Ray and has the whole nose ring piercing, curly hair, circular glasses, he actually said once “the world make me sad” as he took a bath with candles and a bath bomb, he also said “wine makes me cry” which I mean ok maybe wine does make people drunk cry but still its all about his aesthetic. Its a fun aesthetic but that’s just not for me.

After him I had an occasional match but I ran into the same problem where either no one wanted to talk and was just there for a match or they never seemed interested. I had given up on the app really but I kept it around because in the back of my head I'm thinking like alright, its all good, I'm a patient person it just takes some time, you never know I may meet someone actually, and then last week I matched with two guys. One that lives on the other side of Columbus and one that lives just outside of Easton. The one on the other side of Columbus is really cute and had a lot of the same interests and is just kinda quirky and fun, I just haven't met him yet but we both want to meet up. Now the other one I’ll just say J, he lives outside of Easton and I went on my first date with him on Sunday. It was a good day, we had wandered around Easton, gone out to eat and saw a movie. He also has a lot of the same interests as me, video games, some anime, youtube, but thats about it actually now that I think about it. He's a little rough, like more aggressive but in a sarcastic way I guess. But we vibe well together i feel. Shorter than me, has contacts, wears glasses occasionally mostly at home really. He's 21 as well which I mean sure Im 19 but I guess thats where Im also attracted to him because he's a little older, he’s more mature than some of my past boyfriends but also has a childish side like me. Thats where we’re similar. We went and saw Mother! which I guess was supposed to be a phycological thriller but it was really dumb to us, it didn't make much sense. I was during the movie where I first kissed him, I had wanted to earlier as well but I didn’t feel like it was right yet. It made me laugh though that that was the movie we saw and decided ah yes, this is a good movie to kiss and cuddle and hold hands to. 

After the movie I didn't quite want to leave yet because I was getting pretty attached to him that night so we went back to his apartment for the night. I watched him play Skyrim for a bit, he let me try out Overwatch while him and his roommate had gone to get her some pizza. Which I thought like alrighty, this is okay, just leave me alone at your apartment even though I literally just physically met you today. They came back after like a half hour, eventually me and him went back to his room, we made out for a good while on and off. He wanted to take a bath together which I had never done before. My last boyfriend had suggested it but I never really wanted to much. We got the water running for a second but I was really anxious, I had gotten my shirt off but I didn't take off my pants. He was already in his underwear, it took me a second but eventually he also kinda forced me as in getting close and kissing me then pulling down my shorts and underwear. I was really awkward at that point. It took me like 2 months before my last boyfriend had seen me naked and no one before him has seen me naked, its just not my thing its weird, I just don't like it much. But anyway so we had gotten in the shower instead, I was still pretty anxious. My legs were shaking I was hugging my body, it was just generally uncomfortable but within a few minutes I had mostly gotten over it. It just make me feel really weird. After the shower we got out and just laid on his bed for a bit still naked. I had gotten over it by that time but there was still some after feelings that I guess I didn't notice as much since we were making out again. Eventually we but our underwear back on and a t shirt and went to bed after about another hour or so.

The next morning we just stayed in bed really until I had to leave to go back home because mom was wondering where I was, I had texted her last night that I was staying there with him so that was taken care of. Eventually I got home and that was that. He had actually invited me to a party one of his coworkers was having that night but I had already stayed with him one night and I had to but up early the next morning for work so I told him no I couldn't which of course he was pouting over a little but in a playful way that you would when your flirting with someone. So that night I actually ended up going to a party at my other friends house till like 1am but THAT was ok because he only lived like 5 minutes away from home compared to an hour that J lived. That was  Monday night, the first date was Sunday and I stayed with J Sunday night. I worked early on Thursday morning but then he came out to my house that afternoon. We played some Mario Kart Double Dash at my house then drove out to my friends house Ive been housesitting for to technically grab some wires for my Wii but then we ended up taking another bath in their huge bathtub with jets for about an hour and a half which was nice. I was used to being naked with J by now. We watched some youtube while in the bath, made out for a bit again. Then we got dressed and drove back to my house. By the time we got back it was about 1am when I wanted to get to bed because between Sunday and Monday night I had gotten about 8 hours of sleep total. So he left and that was Tuesday. Now yesterday, Wednesday I worked again early in the morning, then I went back out to Columbus and saw J again for a few hours, we played some gamecube again, I went with him to get groceries, then me and him went out to eat. Came back and laid in his bed in our underwear again watching youtube and cuddling and kissing until it was about 11:30 then I went home again. 

Idk what to make of J, I like him, he's the farthest Ive been on a first date thats for sure. I enjoy his company but do I? Or is it just because I haven't had any sort of attention like this in almost 6 months? Like I had said we share some similar interests. Video games, some music, a little bit of anime and legos. He's pretty sweet with me but also he's a little more aggressive than me, which I mean Im okay with kinda. challenge me a little, don't be afraid to playfully challenge and fight me. But don't be an ass about it. Idk theres the other kid on the other side of Columbus who I've been snap chatting as well but Ive been giving J most of my attention. 

[idkitshiro]

Mar.11 ,2017  2:23 pm

as im trying to looking forward, a part of me is whispering failure.. can I make something, something beautiful, something inspiring, encouraging? to spread a heartfelt smile on somebody’s face, reassuring whoever is behind their computer screen there is reason, no matter how stupid or small it is, to laugh or smile. I want to remind people how video games are really meant to be played, what creates the pro environment and  competition in the first place, showing them how to have fun with their video games, showing them how to enjoy spending their free time so that its at least not wasted. If I can leave at least one thing to take away and let people know they feel reassured, loved, supported, not alone then all the time I put into the videos im making have been worth my time.  Acts of kindness, sportsmanship good cheer. Make them feel like holy crap this makes me want to play this game

Here i go as I just write down whatever im thinking about:

some of the funnest games I really enjoyed playing as a kid: Super Smash bros melee: at first had all my favorite characters from different games EVER , kirby, pikachu, mario, all these nintendo characters like Link, Fire emblem’s marth and roy, so much variety Pokemon: such a fun adventure, not having much access to the internet , the world was magical, every corner was a new surprise. There were random Pokeballs on the floor, instances where your in game rival would show up and challenge you to a battle with his own unique pokemon.  the pokemon I had felt unique, the team I had felt special and I bonded with these pokemon. I didnt have in mind what my friends or any one else who also played the video game what strategies or pokemon they thought were good and were their own personal favorite. The competition element fair and exciting because there weren’t many popular guides or communities and forums that people were aware of. Internet spoiled the fun because it exposed many of the surprises and secrets of the game. It almost was as if there was a person sitting next to me telling me how they already beat the game, caught all 150 pokemon telling me which pokemon were trash and not worth my time, the perfect IVs and proper way of how to make the strongest team possible. Though they may be right it totally killed my joy for the game, stripping of the surprise and wonder element video games used to hold as this now apple is to almost every other video game. and altho the right answer is to not focus and compare my self to the people surrounding me its like someone standing right behind me saying video games are FAKE, WASTE OF TIME. So spending my free time trying to  Man people need to pay less attention to how others are spending their time playing video games. MANNN you’re winning if you’re enjoying your time having fun whether kicking ass, accomplishing a hard puzzle or challenge, discover something rare on your own again i guess thats added to your personal merit, get a good laugh, listening to good music, reminds you of something important to you whether its through story telling and the music, whether its learning more about experiences and other people around you. Theres so much video games could teach you, what you could learn from. like many other hobbies or people like to do on their spare time, video games are another outlet of creating happy memories, memories that could be shared with the people we love. I find my self exploring all these different video games to try and remember why I fell in love with video games when I was a lot younger. What made it so exciting and fun, and when I let something else rob me of that joy. I remember when I was in elementary school my brother and I had our own Gameboy Colors. I had purple one given from my Auntie and my brother had a neon Green gameboy color that was given from our grandpa’s brother, i guess granduncle. Both of us had our seperate Pokemon version where Pokemon Red was my first video game ever and my brother had Pokemon Yellow.  anyways my mom would only allow us to play for an hour or two a day and I just remember my sister wanting to play pokemon too and so I let her play mine, and althouhg i wasnt playing I really enjoyed watching them just play. I felt so happy that we were all able to play together even if I was just watching my brother thumb through his starting Pokemon team in Saffron city. Idk why thats so vivid. We had to share alot things growing up, rooms, 1 hour turns on the computer, hand me down clothes, Gamecube turns. i remember i bought a tv plugin game which was star wars/ spongebob that didnt need a console. it had 5 games in it , but crowding around the small tv in me and my brothers room playing video games together.. i miss that so much. i just wanted us to get along and have fun. 

god i always hear people saying that their entire life they were losers and the bullied kid, but did they ever have a fanny pack with 100 calorie Special K bars on 1,000 diet imitating their favorite Taijustus specialist? (Rock Lee Image) I used to be obssesed with my eating only 1,000 calories a day because I was pretty chunky in middle school. One time in PE we had to do our quarterly mile run and I remember always dreading these big days. Every week we had to run around the track for 20 minutes, no walking, and see how many laps you could run in that time. We were graded on how many laps we could run, 6 laps was  D , 7 Laps was a C , 8 Laps was a B, 9 and more was an A. I dreaded every single week for these 20 minute runs, but I celebrated super heavily after it we were done. I was always super nervous and anxious thinking about these days because I always forced myself to do my absolute best. I hated the thought of competing with the people next to me. I used to run 10 laps and my best being 11 laps, which I thought was insanely good. The fastest was I think 12 or 13 laps but they werent in my class. I suppose I felt proud of what I accomplished, my classmates thought I was fast. I would wear shorts everyday in middle school. In 4th and 5th grade I used to run 3 miles every day in the summer with my grandpa and sometimes my sister  because I came home one day from a a Dr.’s Checkup saying that my cholesterol was pretty high. Seperate from my school’s 5k I only entered one 5k run with my grandpa who did the 7k run. I felt horrible because I was just overweight and I didnt find myself that attractive. God, especially when your older brother was more handsome had abs and biceps since 5th grade.  ashjdkasld yeah this is where my self esteem issues come from, but anyways, I was complimented on my  buldgy calves. They were pretty big, for a big boy like my self. I remember one time when runnign the 20 minute run I always thought about falling over and getting hurt so I didnt have to run, mentally I wanted to just stop myself from pushing my body. ashdbjnka My best mile time was 5:37 by the way. When it was raining and they made us stay inside our school’s gym, playing dodgeball. I WAS SO HAPPY. I would pray that it would rain enough so that the track would be too wet where we all the PE classes would have to walk around the basketball quarts and then the other  half o the class would have to play basketball. I WAS ALWAYS SUPER EXCITED. Those were the best days regular days of school. of course not more exciting than Game days, honor-roll Bingo , or field trips of course AHAHA One time I brought I red chocolate balls that I got from people standing in front of safeway that were wrapped neatly in this plastic bag. I gave some to my friends before we ran, thinking wow we could be just like Choji and his ration pellets. Jesus. It was just concentrated choclate balls of sugar.   -- It was pretty good tho. Middle school was awesome. I did whatever I wanted no matter how uncool people thought it was. I thought that just doing what I loved was the coolest thing ever. I used to read the Shonen Jump manga magazines and I was reading the YugiOh Gx weekly chapter and Jesus H. christ it looked so fun. The next day I talked to my friend who was fanatic about Yugioh and he helped me create a deck. The next two years FUHHHH our whole friend group was playing yugioh. It felt like some anime, going home editing decks, dueling in my friends garage drinking cans of Dr. Pepper and honey Twisted BBQ chips. Playing some Halo 3 and Pokemon Stadium 2 on the side. IT WAS SO FUN. When we would have a party in class or potluck I’d get 4 cups of Pepsi, Plateful of Doritos , Lays and Hot cheetos and my friends and I would whip out our decks. Living the life. At the time the Wii , xbox 360 and itouch were very popular. I didnt have a smart phone til the end of my high school and wasnt until my freshman year in high school that I bought my own prepaid phone and minutes and texting plans. anyways the only console my brother and sister i had was teh game cube so these consoles were treasures whenever I would go over to my friends house after school. there was also this one time in middle school where our homeroom teacher allowed 4 people from our AVID class, and at the time I thought AVID students were the smartest collection of indivuals in our school, to go around campus picking up recyables such as cans and bottles so we could sell and add to our class field trip fundraiser. At first our teacher assigned us only 10 minutes and expected us to comeback. 10 minutes of missing class was amazing. My group of friends and I felt so free, so powerful, passing the doors of other classrooms and students, walking where we shouldnt be. And when we would comeback she would reward us with homemade cookies. HOLY, our teacher was so kind. I cant remember if this was a daily thing, but we did this each time we had class. But every time we would come back deliberatly a little later. From intially 10 minutes we started coming back 15 minutes later, then 20. And I kid you not we started going out “recycling” for the entire class period which was about 50 minutes. IT WAS AMAZING. And we may had been in middle school, but we werent dumb. We were AVID students. Advancement via indpendent determination. We were the futures most brightest, up and coming. So we were thinking if we could somehow find more cans and bottles to fill up our garbage bags itd be more than enough reason to explain why we were coming back later than we were orginally suppose to. So initally we would invite ourselves to other classrooms tell the teacher ‘we’re reclying, dw , were supposed to be here’ and go through their blue bins and take whatever cans and bottles we can add it to our bags. Then we started looking at the larger reclye bins in the shcools court yard and just take all the bottles in their. Realistically it took no more than 5 minutes to fill a garbage bag filled with cans and bottles, but we would spend the rest of our vacation racing each other on our school’s track and kick each other on the school’s monkey bars. Jesus. it was so fun. my life feels pretty defeated right now, so I just wanted to share with