#i have met this anakin in college and have hated him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phoeebsbuffay · 1 year ago

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Imagine you are Hayden Christensen's closest friend from college and you help him going through his divorce. Will friendship be enough for either of you? Based on the request made by @calzone-d ...

Warnings: *long post*, drama, explicit smut, fluffy endings.

Recommendations: "Summertime Sadness", "Ride", by Lana Del Rey; “Scared to be Lonely” by Dua Lipa; “Here with me”, by the Killers; “Always” by Gavin James.

***

How it started...

You were 19 years old when you finally got the chance to study cinema at Y/C's university. An old dream you had, to be able to transmit onscreen all your ideas. Your family encouraged you to pursuit the academy of arts in order to become an actress, but you thought yourself too introspective to act.

Well, here you were when you met him. The one who was destined to remain a principal figure in your life over the years. Taking acting classes--well, you did need to study it anyway--you bumped into Hayden Christensen.

"Excuse me", he said to you, a little out of breath.."Is this the acting class with Miss H/N? I fear I am slightly late..."

You remembered finding his blue eyes the handsomest pair of eyes you ever came across with: they were intense, secretive, but friendly too, somewhat emotional. You were instantly captivated.

"Yes, it is. And you are not in the slightest late, young man, but /very/ late indeed. Come in, take your seat, I'll have you updated..."

He gives you a long gaze, relieved for being saved from a bigger trouble—and you can tell he is a freshman like you.

“My name is Y/N”, you side smirk at him.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I am Hayden.”

You both shake hands. Something ignites within, but you think it’s because he has such a good aura…

“You are such a great actress!”, he is telling you, so many months later. “Quit with the production, you are better than me in decorating the lines.”

You grimace, which makes him laugh. The sound of his laughter is so comforting, like this call to your home.

“I don’t like this acting thing”, you dismiss his compliments nonchalantly. Today, you are in a cafeteria, celebrating the end of another semester. One more to go and you will be ready to keep up with your lives, though you and Hayden had vowed to each other never to be apart. “I feel more comfortable behind the cameras. By the way, I just had this idea!”

And then you lean to him, ready to shake him by his shoulders. He nearly chokes with his coke—but then laughing as always because your impulsiveness often brings him to laughters.

“For the love of God, woman. Do you want to see me dead before the time?”

You side smirk, silently apologizing with your puppy eyes. Hayden smiles back, before encouraging with what you had to say with only a nod. As you do, he seems to suddenly notice how nice your hair looks this day.

“I just had the greatest idea ever! I could film your audition and send to George Lucas. The Star Wars director is looking for someone of our age to portray young Anakin Skywalker. You know, before he becomes Darth Vader, of course.”

Hayden is taken aback by what you tell him. You can see the mix of sentiments that rises behind his blue eyes: insecurity, suspicious before reasoning to excitement.

“What? Are you for real, Y/N? How come did you hear about it? I mean…”

You tell him how your internship led you to it. This is how the fun begins, how both of you in fact begin your career.

You are there in every moment of his life: when Hayden has to conciliate his last semester with the filming of “Episode II: Attack of the Clones”, when he tells you that he and his on-screen romantic pair are having a thing.

He is also present at your graduation, the moment when you begin to transit to adulthood. What about it when you get yourself drunk for the very first time?

He is there too.

“I hate the taste of alcohol”, you grumble, unsure how come you are at his couch. “It aches my stomach, makes me sick.”

Hayden chuckles at how all of a suddenly you turn into these kind of discoveries after spending five years in college doing nothing but well behaving. However, due to such a strong bond you two share, he takes care of you.

“This is the moment where I tell you something you told me once: better to put out than to swallow all in.”

You raise your face, eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Did you just hear yourself?!”

“Wasn’t that what you told me?”

“No!”, you laugh hard at his remark. “Oh my God, H!”

He chuckles after you.

“Well, it did make you laugh, didn’t it?”

***

• The subtle changes…

You are single again. Your ex dumped you. Coincidently, Hayden is single as well. He’s also been going through a difficult phase in his life after all the critics coming from the fans of “Star Wars”. “Episode III” of the franchise didn’t go that well and even though it’s been a year since it’s release, he’s still affected by it.

“We’ve been through so much together”, Hayden tells you one day. “We should definitely do something new for a change.”

“I agree”, you sigh. Currently unemployed, you haven’t been yourself lately either. “Any thoughts?”

“A good journey would do us well. Let us go to Scotland”, so he says, excited. “Come on, Y/N. I’ll let you drive!”

You chuckle at his old tendency to be so reckless. And you do so because you can’t refuse him anything. A bad omen you clearly ignore, of course.

“Very well. When should we do this trip?”

But why’d you bother to ask when you know the answer? Hayden smiles warmly at him.

Oh that damn smile…

“Tomorrow. I’ve already bought the tickets and booked the hotel.”

You scoff at him, offended.

“What? Why? Are you taking me for granted, Christensen? For the love of God…”

Just like that he lifts you up and throws you over his shoulder, smiling as you scream out of surprise. As he puts you down, Hayden messes with your hair, delighted when seeing he’s the reason of your amusement.

And he realizes this is a nice view to contemplate: the sight of your smile, the sound of your laughters, the joy that sparks in your eyes… Seeing you like this makes him genuinely smile in his turn and forget about his bad phase.

But he doesn’t realize that this may mean something else. Or perhaps he doesn’t want to. It’s been years now since you and him became the closest of the friends, so what if all of this is just the result of genuine admiration from one friend to the other?

Regardless, he’s going to take you with him to Scotland. And so you go with him… It is wild to consider how you are usually all straight, not doing nothing that goes out the line all the whilst Hayden is more prompted to take chances and live the present quite intently.

On that fact you blame him being very aries all the whilst you, as taurus lady, prefer to know where you are going. However, he makes life so interesting that even you, as already observed, cannot deny him anything.

So here you are now at Edinburgh.

“I love everything that is medieval”, you tell him excitedly with a spark in your eyes that makes Hayden smile. He does like when you speak passionately about the things you are interested. “I cannot believe I took so long to come here!”

“Yeah, me neither!”

It is a good time to be alive, both of you agree. The landscape is seductive, peaceful, traits much sought after such a bad period you both went through. People too are kind, albeit reserved, but very pleasant.

Those days are being built in your memory as something great to be remembered, but perhaps there is just more that neither seem too attentive…

“Lady, one bedroom with two beds”, asks Hayden, when you got to London eventually because he, of course, is a man who plans very little—much to your distress, the woman who likes everything settled.

But this is not any hotel, but a fanciful one. The said lady looks at him pitifully.

“Mr Christensen, my apologies, but there is only a suite with one bed.”

You two blush, but Hayden somehow doesn’t mind it. This is when you realize you not only don’t mind it but you also want it…badly. Perhaps that’s why you sabotage it.

“You know what? Let’s make it for another day. Come now, Hayden. Thank you”, you blurt out, pushing him outside.

“What the hell was that?”, he frowns at you. “Y/N, what’s wrong with sharing a bed? Do you honestly think anything would happen or what?”

He doesn’t realize his words hurt you, but in truth there is more than his subtle frustration at your refusal allows him to admit. There is an unspoken rising desire between you.

And of course you have to ruin everything.

“I just… please don’t be upset! It’s because I cannot afford it and…” and you tell him the other reason for it, which appeases his anger and is more palpable than you’d care to admit: you are expecting an interview.

Hayden softens, naturally, but you know he’s changed. You hate it because you know why. There are so many things that suddenly rise in your throat but they die choked.

Somehow Hayden knows it too. But he chickens away. He hugs you instead, not willing to lose his best friend.

“I’m sorry for being such an impulsive jackass. But we did have a great time, didn’t we?”

Oh but if only you knew what waits for you back to US…

***

• The marriage

Here you are, dressed in yellow, standing as a maid in honor for the bride and groom. Your heart breaks because you realize a little too late that you are in love with your best friend.

Worse is: had you accepted to share one bed with Hayden in London, everything would be different. Yeah, you may not have gotten that job as a producer of that movie, but Hayden wouldn’t meet Rachel Bilson.

Nonetheless, here you are. Celebrating their vows, wondering if you could be there for a moment, what would be like if you were her.

“Hey, Y/Nickname!”, Hayden exclaims after the ceremony is over. He is wearing his gorgeous smile and dressed in fanciful robes, which all highlights his handsomeness. But you have learned to bury everything deep inside your heart. A secret that you’d take to your grave.

“I can’t believe you are married, Hay!”, you giggle when you greet him with a tight embrace. “I’m so happy for you! Oh my God, look how grown up you are!”

He laughs quietly.

“I know right? Who’d ever thought? The idea of marriage was hardly ever entertained for me”, so he says.

“Oh right! As I told Rachel once, I do have recollections of your drunkenness state and all that came between”, you laugh too, remembering the first time he had a hangover.

“What a time to be alive”, says Hayden in his typical good mood.

As you speak, you do seem to come to terms that if he is happy, so are you. You are at peace with it at long last. Hayden, on his turn, for a time seems to have suspected that you harbored feelings for him. But he always ignored it for the sake of your friendship. Now seeing how genuinely happy you are for him, certainly he believes it was all a thing of his head.

But why does he have a bittersweet taste of it?

“Could you introduce me to that man over there?” You nudge his sides, pointing to a handsome man that is not very far from Rachel herself.

Hayden raises an eyebrow.

“Really, now, Y/N?”

“You don’t expect me to be a nun, do you?”

He chuckles.

“Well I don’t want to see you get hurt, is all…”

Quite unwillingly, though, he leads the way. And maybe the night will not end that bad for you, after all.

***

•The divorce and the consequences…

In fact, looking back now it was really a great job pushing Hayden to introduce the guy to you because he ended up becoming your boyfriend.

This new relationship of yours, however, changed the dynamics of your friendship with Hayden for some time—but maybe it was all because he was living a different life now, becoming a father in the process.

A few years rolled upon, though, when everything started to fall apart—for you and Hayden. You found out that your new relationship was damaged because you and your boyfriend were scared to be lonely. A crisis developed to fights, to exchange of words that only broke hearts.

In the meantime, Hayden realized how long he missed his best friend. His own marriage started to fall apart, but the more it broke down, the more he needed you again.

Was it a selfish wish to have you by his side? Such questionings never reached you out due to his pride, that masked his hurt. Perhaps he was only scared to be lonely too. He could deal with it himself.

Nonetheless, destiny—the same destiny that pushed one from the other—is about to bring you two together again. One call and your night would be different.

You are single now, ready to go out that night with your girlfriends when suddenly a phone call startles you. It’s Hayden. Your heart races: he hasn’t been the one to call, and hasn’t done so for a long while.

“Hey, H. How are you? Haven’t heard of you for some time. Is everything ok?”, you ask, concerned.

There is a pause that accelerates your heart. You know he is not well. Before he answers, you immediately add:

“I’ll be in your home in a few minutes.”

“I’ll give you the new address. I’m not living with Rachel anymore: we got divorced.”

You are stunned upon those words. Now your silence leaves Hayden uncomfortable. He breaks it by saying:

“Y/Nickname? Are you there?”

“Yes, honey, I am. I’m so sorry, Hay. Please stay there… I’ll be on my way.”

He chuckles.

“Where else would I go to?”

In a matter of minutes, after requesting an Uber, you, dressed the way you are, arrive to his new home. Hayden side smirks when seeing you, though how he eyes you up and down makes you blush lightly.

“Wow, Y/N. Looking hot, aren’t you?”, he laughs when seeing the pink painting your cheeks, hugging you tight when receiving you. “Please tell me I didn’t ruin your night.”

You slap his shoulder playfully, eyes rolling at his drama.

“Don’t say bullshit to me, Christensen. I just wish I knew it properly before. I hope you don’t mind me looking like this.”

“You have always been a distraction to my eyes”, he teases you, pleased to see nothing has really changed between the two of you. “We need some wine, it’s not really a warming night, I suppose.”

As you look into his new apartment, he promptly gets the best wine to serve you. Without your knowledge, Hayden’s eyes follow your moves: noticing your y/c hair is now on your shoulders, how vivid your eyes are, remaining as observing and curious as before.

He cannot help admiring you physically too: though this is a cold night and you are dressed accordingly, when you drop your black coat on his coach, he sees your warming blouse shows some skin.

Indeed, Y/N, looking as hot and beautiful as always. Such is his thought.

He never really told you but Rachel was jealous of you. According to her, she could see you harbored feelings for him and part of her feared Hayden would correspond. Nonsense, he’d tell her.

But now, was she really so wrong? Yet, another and more important question he asks himself is: how could have he let go of you? Not only about matters of sentimentalism, but you’ve been an important piece of his life.

Seeing you back hurts his heart because he now sees the stupidity in letting go of you. He wishes he could have asked you to wait for him, to never let go of you. But this is such a state of complex selfishness that he quiets his internal riot and puts a smile on his lips when bringing the two of you the best wine he has, aware you prefer the sweet ones.

“I was admiring your new apartment”, you tell him, smiling in thanks as he passes you a full glass. “Whoa, looks like we are having a full drinking night, aren’t we? Christensen, I am not that young anymore. Not sure I am prepared to have a full hangover again.”

Hayden cracks loud and the sound of his laughters makes your heart skip a beat. Nothing feels different, you think, pleased.

“I’m bringing us something to eat, silly head. Besides I’ve always taken care of you, right?”

“That is true”, you agree. “But what are we having to eat today?”

“Always hungry, eh?”, he teases you.

You shrug playfully before saying:

“What can I do? I am a Taurus, you know it!”

He rolls his eyes, laughing loud again at your remarks—and that sound has always made your heart race, hasn’t it?

“Not with that astrology nonsense again!”

You slap his arm playfully before joining him in chuckles.

“Always with that astrology nonsense, silly.”

It is not until pizza is brought to you that the serious conversation is finally there.

“So what happened, Hayden?”, you ask him softly.

He sighs heavily, avoiding your gaze. He is silent, but you are patient, giving some time, for which he appreciates it.

“How often do we fall for the idea our minds make of the person?”, says he, sounding frustrated. “Not rarely we come to romantic ideas of marriage that break before the crude reality, you know? It’s not just about being different, Y/N, it’s… the commitment, I suppose, in making everything right. Turns out we had very different ideas of making it right.”

“I’m sorry, Hay. I really am”, you speak gently, taking his hand to yours, realizing how broken he is makes your heart sensitive to his pain.

He appreciates it, but when feeling your skin against him, Hayden is remembered the days before he met Rachel. The way he made you smile, the jokes that brought him to laughters. How easily it was to be around you, how you softened him. He, who was never a sentimental man, hugged you more times than he realized.

But Hayden sweeps away such memories.

“I am too. But I am fine now”, he shrugs. “I mean, not entirely recovered, but better than being broken.”

“Take your time, it’s the best you can do. How long has it been going on?”

Hayden hesitates but says:

“Six months.”

Your eyes go wide and your voice comes louder than expected:

“YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH A DIVORCE SIX MONTHS AGO?”

At least he has the decency to blush.

“Hayden! How could you keep me in secret for such a long time?!”

You’d remove his hand but Hayden doesn’t let you to. Pulling you to his side, he says, almost in a tone of desperation:

“I thought I could handle this by myself”, he explains. “I really didn’t want to bother you…”

Perhaps it’s the wine, but your tongue runs loose with words that have long been choked in your throat.

“And what am I to you? A second option, a plan B that didn’t work out? You’ve kicked me out of your life, Hayden. You’ve never called me to ask me if I was doing ok!”

He gives you a painful look that makes you regret instantly of what you said. You’d think he let go of you and a fight would come—this happened once when both of you were drunk, though by then you were both silly and immature.

“I’ve got a war in my mind for a long while”, he exclaims, holding your wrist and he pulls you even closer to him. “I was fucking stupid, I screwed it, I know. But never would I kick you out of my heart, Y/N! And I… I’m sorry I was fucking blinded by my pain. But only because I feared to hurt you.”

You await for his burst to end, very familiar with his intensity—but when his blue eyes search for yours, your soul is denuded.

Oh fuck.

“I stepped away because he was a douchebag”, he proceeds. “You deserved better than such a man, Y/N. I’ve heard of his doings but I couldn’t reach you out when… when I was in the mid of a crisis myself.”

“You’ve always been too shut in yourself to let others in”, you sigh. “But what relation is there with the fact I was in a relationship?”

“You deserved better”, he says with greeted teeth, holding your face with his hands, both of you barely noticing how your bodies have been dancing dangerously close to each other. “You are still slow after all this time?”

You are shocked, perplexed by his words. You freeze. Hayden smiles slowly at your reaction.

“I feel it everywhere, nothing scares me anymore. I won’t let you go. Now now, not ever. Fuck, I married the wrong person. Heaven has always been my favourite place on Earth when I was with you.”

“You have always been the best”, you mumble incoherently.

Just like that your lips clash against his. In between fervent kisses, where he pulls you to his lap, no reason is admitted. Not anymore.

“I’ve missed you, Y/Nickname”, he groans against your lips. “Like the sun misses the moon.”

“Always the romantic”, you chew his bottom lip as your hands run over his hair, pulling it gently. “Don’t want your memories anymore. Fuck, Christensen, you took so long.”

“This is not a game, I swear”, he breaks the kiss to pursuit your skin, his tongue already on your neck as his hands hold your hips, making you feel his rigid pants.

“Oh Lord. My worst sin is to never be able to refuse you anything”, you hate how wine makes you speak your mind.

Raising his head to watch you intently, he messes with your hair before holding your chin, drawing you closer to him.

Oh that intensity that involves one to the other!

“Then make me a sinner too for giving you all that you deserve.”

You crawl over him, you know you do, when your tongue pursuits his, one pairs the other rhythmically, perfectly. And then he lies you there on the couch, hands already working to remove your pants.

His eyes are set on yours like that of a hunter about to capture his prey. He knows you are on fire and that he is the gasoline. You lean partly to remove his shirt, hands all over him. You gasp when feeling his muscles under your touch and you want more, but…

“Patience, Y/Nickname”, his voice is husky and domineering when laying you down again.

“Yes, Master”, you giggle softly, in such a state that makes you both smile to the other.

And just like that his hands find way to your thighs, gently parting before inserting one right there in your feminine parts, not really taking away your panties for such.

“Oh, God!” You moan sensually, enjoying his eyes on you as he works wonderfully on you. “This is better than I thought!”

“Is it?”, he groans softly in your ear. “How long have you been thinking about it, dear one?”

“For a long while! God knows how much…”, another moan breaks you, earning him a smirk. “Hayden…”

“Yeah?”

“I fucked him thinking about you”, you admit.

His eyes dart, his body shakes lightly with desire. Slowly moving on top of you, his moves increase intently, watching you with desire.

“Damned be you for never speaking your thoughts to me”, he lifts your blouse gently but you help him removing it. As he starts to kiss your neck down to your chest, your legs begin to get heavy at his tenderness. “You should have spoken it to me…”

“Never had I the courage to do so”, you moan, enjoying having his hand over your neck lightly as he bites down your bra, slowly removing it with his mouth.

“For you should. It would have spared us some time. I fucked her thinking of you too”, he admits it drunkly before burying his lips to your nipple, much to your delight.

Hayden ruins you and it’s better than you could have thought. You want him to yourself, to make him unspeakable things but it’s difficult to do or say anything when his lips are so occupied with each nipple, twirling his tongue around it, sucking and biting it.

The sounds in his living room go louder each time. You are brought to heaven, and only then you take control of yourself again.

“Hayden…”, you barely speak when he finishes with you.

You both are a puddle of mess when you, nude, sit over his lap. You share a drunk look, one filled with the darkest desires for so long muffled, now brought to light.

“Yes, babe?” He kisses your shoulders, groaning as you rub yourself against his hardness. “Will you forgive me for such a behavior?”

His words are barely heard when his head is thrown back because your skillful hands find way to his pants and remove it so soon.

You glance at his manhood, impressed by how it is when it’s this hard under your touch.

“You don’t deserve forgiveness”, you giggle softly as you start rubbing it, enjoying to feel the drip of it. “You should be punished.”

He holds back a gasp at your words. Now eyeing you, interested in your upcoming moves. And when you slide to your knees…

“Babe…”

“Yeah?”

One glance. Unspoken words fill the air. And you take with his mouth at long last, not stopping until you have it all down your throat.

“For God’s sake!”, he gasps. “I can’t wait any longer to have you with me!”

All gentleness is left aside when he helps you settle on his lips and he slides inside you. To feel him throbbing like this, going so hard in you makes you arch your back.

“This feels so good!”

His hands move down your back as his lips pursuit your skin, licking and taking every bit of you—though he does know how much you enjoy when he takes his time around your nipples, which he does graciously.

But it’s not until his eyes meet yours, sealing your lips as much as you seal your bodies together, that all is at long last truly consumed….

***

• Nowadays

In a sober state, everything is better appreciated. Hayden watches as you gleefully prepare breakfast. There is nothing but genuinely love in his eyes.

What had started as an explosion of sentiments for so long kept in secret has now flown to what should have always been: a genuine relationship. From friends to lovers. From lovers to something better.

He smiles, not now missing the lateness of his realization that you have always been the love of his life. He stands and moves to behind you, holding you close and smelling your scent as you prepare him some eggs.

“What? I’ve been sensing your eyes over me”, you giggle like a little girl. “Don’t get me weak again, Christensen. This is so not you.”

He turns you at him and holds your face between his hands.

“I love you, Y/Nickname.”

Hayden smiles wide when seeing a blush painting your cheeks. And he beams when you tell him the same.

“I love you too, H. Though I fear I love you more.”

“That is not true”, he protests in between laughters.

But before you fall into that old cliche you and him enjoy in secret intimacy, breakfast is ready. As you two enjoy that morning moment, it doesn’t strike as how many years have passed before you two achieved it at long last.

“I have news to tell”, says Hayden with a bright smile on his lips.

You rest your chin over your hands and say:

“Well? Tell me at once.”

He appreciates all the love that comes from you. The way you look at him, how genuinely you listen and help him in every moment, how kind you always are, how sincere you speak your heart out. So many virtues and even your flaws he appreciates.

There is so much love between the lines and out of them too.

“I was asked to play Anakin Skywalker again.”

And how fantastic you are as his soon to be wife when you jump in his arms excited with his news.

“That is awesome, my darling! I’m so happy for you!”

“A better start than I could have thought”, he admits, pulling you to sit on his lap.

“You deserve it all”, you brush your lips against his. “I love you, my heart.”

“I love you, my soul”, he whispers back.

And this is the ending you deserve.

***

•Epilogue…

When you show up dressed in red—from your full lips to your body—Hayden feels something rise in his chest.

“My God, you look gorgeous, Y/N…”, so he says mischievously when you show up after leaving him waiting for 30 minutes. “It was worth the time…”

You giggle, blushing lightly after all this time. Your hair is loose wavily, put on side as you wear the necklace and earrings Hayden gifted you in your birthday.

“Don’t be silly. Have they arrived yet?”

The occasion is to celebrate Hayden and Ewan’s series “Kenobi”. Hayden’s aforementioned friend said he was going to pick them up in a limo so they’d go all together.

“They are about to… which leaves us a few minutes”, he places right behind you, holding your waist tightly.

“Hayden… It took me some time to get properly dressed. Besides, I…” you get lost at your words when he starts kissing your neck and his hands move up and down your back.

“What are you trying to say?”

Hayden smirks, enjoying the effect he has over you. It’s been some good years since you got together, but even now he manages to get you speechless.

“I…”

Your mind goes blank when he turns you to the mirror and see the naughty look that rests in those blue eyes. His hands move to your breasts, playing with your nipples before slowly exposing them.

“Hayden… they are….” You moan softly, struggling to keep your composure.

He turns you now against the wall of your bathroom, mouth dropping to your full chest all the whilst his hands move to your thighs.

“Hmm”, he sings softly, humming against your skin. “Hot as hell, wife.”

You try not to fall from your heels.

“Hayden!” You cry out when his fingers find all the way to you.

“You get your man on knees every single time. Getting me overzealous, uh?”, he smirks when going to his knees. “All wet for me, honey? Let me taste you thus…”

You are almost ruined as he does so, his tongue in you the way you want him to. You forget yourself, forget the reason why this expensive gown you bought three months ago was quite difficult to dress—precisely why you’d want to tell him by the end of the night.

You forget your state, you forget you should be checking time before your friends arrive. There is nothing to remember as he fucks you with his tongue deliciously until you are about to come undone…

Just like that he lifts your thighs and before you complain, he slides his manhood within, fucking you slowly and pleasantly.

“Oh God!” You scream but he has to quiet your sounds, especially because… the bell is rang.

“That was quick”, he manages to say breathlessly as he rushes to keep himself recomposed.

You giggle, suddenly shy as you do the same.

“Indeed…”

Hayden finds you adorable and peppers kisses around your face.

“They can wait a little. I thought you wanted to say something… you know, before…”

You two share a giggle and he smiles when you bury your face in his shoulder.

“I… I am pregnant, H.”

He hugs you closer. What a night, what a life with you is. Hayden Christensen could not have been any happier…

#star wars #star wars imagine #imagine star wars #Hayden Christensen #Anakin Skywalker #darth vader #Hayden Christensen smut #hayden christensen x y/n #Hayden Christensen x female reader

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lady-evelin · 3 months ago

Note

Could I ask for a new fic rec list with noncon themes? It's practically October and I'm in the mood to read some dark & delicious Obikin/Vaderwan fics 🍴 Thanks for being a dead dove friendly blog and writer!

Sure💕 I'll share with you a list of 10 fics that I read over and over again, Top Anakin/Bottom Obi-Wan. I hope you like it! If you need more, don't hesitate to ask.

Hang up my heart (let it air out) by: gaily-daily (gailydaily)

Obi-Wan used to babysit Anakin. There are consequences to this.

I love this fic so much because Anakin becomes very obsessed with Obi-Wan from a young age, to the point of marking him as his omega and looking for him all over the city until he has him again 🤭

2. take what you need (if it turns you on) by: silianrail

Another late night at work leaves Anakin alone in the office with his boss, Obi-Wan. When frustrations build, it turns out both of them just need a release. (Even if they don't agree on it...)

OMG!! This has a lot of sex!! Anakin is so angry because Obi-Wan makes him work overtime that he decides to punish his arrogant boss with rough sex 😋

3. love(?) in an elevator by: amadwinter

Anakin goes off to college, ready to continue his hot girl summer into the next four years. Except nothing goes according to plan when he gets trapped in an elevator and falls head over heels for the person stuck with him.

This is soooooo good! Anakin gets stuck in an elevator with Obi-Wan; thinking the man is the love of his life, he decides to have sex with him. Hearing only his dark and obsessive thoughts, he doesn't realize the reality 😈

4. Raspberry Smoothie by: Unusually (unmarked_ghost)

When Obi-Wan first met Anakin, he had been abandoned on the steps of the church. His skin was cold and his eyes were blue and tufts of blonde hair made him irresistible. Obi-Wan knew he couldn't leave the small babe out in the cold, so he bundled him in his arms and took him home.

Vampires and religion—what more could you ask for? Anakin is a vampire who becomes obsessed with Obi-Wan. At first, Obi-Wan tries to protect Anakin, but as he grows up, Obi-Wan realizes that Anakin is a monster. It's a shame that he realized it too late ✨

5. Oh, Mother Mine by: devilssanctuary

It’s not normal. It’s wrong. Anakin knows this. He shouldn’t want his mother as his mate, but it makes sense. He’s the only Omega Anakin ever considered owning. The only Omega who loved and cared for Anakin. Who wanted him. Him. An alpha. Strong in the Force.

In desperate times like these, Anakin refers to his mother by his name. Obi-Wan. Maybe in another life, they’d be mates. Maybe Anakin would be one of the good guys and treat Obi-Wan as his equal rather than something to own.

But… this is his life. Born from the Force and an Omega. Harboring a possessive unhealthy love for his mother. He’s sick and twisted and evil, but he’s loved and cared for and feels belonged.

This is my guilty pleasure, Mommywan and Anakin as his son. Obi-Wan flees the Jedi order and raises Anakin, but the alpha sees Obi-Wan as his omega, becoming possessive and jealous 💞

6. grip of the devil by: Anonymous

Obikin one-shots inspired by twitter filth

1) Living with an abstinent Master meant Anakin had to get clever. Luckily, he had just the thing on hand. (magic onahole AU)

2) Obi-Wan lives in the basement of a child. A child that he both loves and hates.

I loved these chapters, especially chapter 2 where Anakin turns Obi-Wan into his basement wife 🔥

7. please and thank you by: amadwinter

Obi-Wan doesn't need another parent, and his new stepfather doesn't want another child.

This one is so dark, Anakin marries Obi-Wan's mother but still desires Obi-Wan who hates him. In the end Anakin gets what he wants.😏

8. If not by faith, then by the sword by: MissRainy0103

Obi-wan Kenobi is a researcher who, along with his master and mentor Qui-gon Jinn, ventures into the deserts of Tatooine in search of the lost je'di tribe.

He'll regret his decision.

I love fics with cult and tribe themes; in this one, the tribe prepares Obi-Wan as a bride for Anakin, who is the chosen one. The bad thing is that they do it by tricking Obi-Wan, and when he realizes how dark everything is, it is too late to flee.😌

9. between a rock and a hard place by: QuestionableWhore

There were some days, Obi-Wan supposed, that you really couldn’t catch a break anywhere.

You know I have a little obsession with mommywan, in this padawan Anakin is obsessive and possessive with his master seeing how he draws everyone's attention, by chance Obi-Wan gets caught in a hole, and Anakin makes him his ✨

10. Birds and the Bees Me by: Obibabywan

Today is the day when Master Anakin Skywalker instructs his Padawan Obi-Wan to learn about the secret requirements a Padawan must fulfill for their Master, so their bond remains strong. It doesn't take much convincing…Obi-Wan is a quick learner.

A Reverse AU Smutty Oneshot with a twist ending.

OMG!! If you like all the previous recommendations, you will love this one. Anakin is so manipulative that he tricks Obi-Wan, making him his, giving a very shady twist at the end.🤩

#obikin #fic recommendation #obikin au #obikin fanfic #ao3 fanfic #anon ask #answered #ask box

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vanishedangels · 2 years ago

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Blunda

Summary: In a Galaxy where the Jedi are almost forgotten, Din Djarin, a young mandalorian, is currently in his final year at Galactic Republic College. At the beginning of his last semester he meets the enigmatic Luke Skywalker, his best friend's estranged twin brother, and he grows obsessed with him almost immediately. He would do anything to win his heart, even when Luke treats him with utter disdain.

Pairing: Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker

Characters: Din Djarin, Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Paz Vizsla, Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala, Koska Reeves, Cobb Vanth.

Rating: Mature (+18) Rating will change

Warnings: Emotional Distress, Manipulation.

Tags: Canon Divergence AU, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Tumblr Prompt, Eventual Smut.

Chapters: 1/?

Navigation: • Next Chapter ->

Excerpt:

He hesitantly left his room that morning, a little anxious about the prospect of running into Luke while he was walking down the corridor, he was brushing his fingers across the wall when he made it into the living room, and, kriff! There was Luke, on the big couch, dressed as the night before, legs crossed, his hair tousled from sleeping, his eyelids puffy and his lips swollen. So this is how you look like in the morning. Adorable.

Chapter 1: The handsome stranger

Every year, Hanna City received students from all over the Galaxy, The Galactic Republic offered a two-year basic program with the purpose of providing political training to the most prominent families' kids.

When Din Djarin turned eighteen he chose Chandrila over other core worlds in order to complete the course. Little did he know that he would love Hanna City. The rented apartment he shared with his friend and tribe member, Paz Vizsla, became his favourite place in the Galaxy, although he never stopped considering Nevarro as his home. While Din didn't come from a prominent family, he was a member of the Children of the Watch, and, to his fortune, the head of his tribe rubbed shoulders with powerful leaders.

The first day at college he met this loquacious girl, petite, brunette, with a beautiful round face and big brown eyes. Din was trying to focus on whatever his new teacher was talking about when he heard a scathing comment coming from behind him, although he was the only one that could hear it, he turned around slowly only to find the most dazzling angelic smile he has ever seen, the girl was propping her chin on her delicate hand, she winked at Din and leaned in whispering another biting comment making him chuckle.

"I'm Leia Amidala." She said smoothing down Din's shirt with her free hand and Din knew right away that she would be one of his closest friends. And he wasn't wrong.

The first day of their last semester Din and Paz were reading on his datapad waiting for the class to start, the teacher leaned against the transparent board.

"Alright, today we're going to talk about the period between the establishment of the Grand Army of the Republic and the end of the Clone Wars." The teacher said and Din rolled his shoulders back, he hated history class, he would have failed every single exam without Leia's help.

Over the next hour, Din was paying less and less attention, the class turned into a heated discussion very quickly and he wasn't fond of arguing about past events, he always believed that whatever happened in the past should stay in the past, he was a mandalorian and he needed to move on, his people's history was tragic and painful, nothing would change that, therefore he didn't see any reason to dwell on the past events.

"Well, I blame it on the Jedi, they disappeared and left us at the Supreme Chancellor's mercy!" A twi'lek student yelled at the teacher.

Paz was sitting next to Din and flinched "Fuck, man, don't go there." He said through gritted teeth and under his breath. Din looked at him sideways.

Before the teacher could say a word, someone intervened "You don't know what you're talking about." Everyone in the classroom went silent. Din and Paz slowly turned their heads to look at the back of the room, there was a boy, with hair black as night and pale skin making contrast, he was staring down scratching the surface of the table, resting his face on his knuckles, he was wearing an oversized gray sweater that almost covered his hands all the way. He frowned realizing everyone was staring at him. He looked up and Din could see the blueish of his big eyes. He blinked a couple of times before the twi'lek snorted at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't remember your name, uh-" The teacher said looking at the boy in the back of the room.

The boy sighed visibly annoyed "It's Luke Skywalker."

Paz arched his eyebrows and looked at Din.

"It's the first time I see you in this class." The teacher grabbed his datapad "Let me, let me see."

The boy crossed his arms over his chest leaning back in his seat, with a scowl on his face, Din kept staring at him, somehow astounded by the guy's boldness.

"Oh, here you are. Luke Skywalker. Alright, I guess you've been transferred to this college." The teacher nodded smiling but the boy only huffed in response and Din widened his eyes, smirking a little. "Where are you coming from, Luke?"

The boy rolled his eyes and propped his elbows on the table, arms still crossed "Coruscant." He said shrugging.

"Welcome, then." The teacher added and resumed the class.

When the class was dismissed, Din and Paz remained in their seats, almost turning around at the same time in order to look at the new student. The guy grabbed his datapad and he dashed out of the class room, eyes on the floor, avoiding everyone around him.

Paz was scratching his nose "Weird creature, huh?" He said to Din as he stood up.

That made Din furrow his eyebrows "Yeah." He said under his breath, following his vod and leaving the classroom. He walked to the main entrance and he smiled when he saw Leia by the stairs.

"Hey, girl!" Din said wrapping his arms around her neck from behind and he froze when he found that his new classmate, Luke Skywalker, was standing in front of Leia, and when his eyes met Luke's, the boy gave him a death stare that made Din shudder with something that resembled fear.

Luke lowered his gaze, focused on Leia now "I won't bother you anymore, see you later." He turned around and walked away, Leia closed her eyes sighing deeply, curling her hand around Din's arm still around her neck.

Din was frozen, he withdrew his arms from her slowly as the girl turned to face him "Fuck, this is so weird." She tilted her head. "I'm sorry Din, the way he looked at you, I'm- Sorry."

Who is he. Din was still looking at Luke's distant form. Leia's little hand on his chest bringing him out of his mind "Who's that guy, Leia?"

She pressed her lips together "Can we go for a walk Din? I really need a friend right now."

Din nodded hugging her and kissing the top of her head "Sure, Lei."

They left the building in silence. Din was worried about his friend, he knew Leia very well and this was the first time she wasn't talking his ear off, worse, she remained silent walking by his side. She came to a halt sitting down on a bench grabbing Din's hand forcing him to sit next to her.

Din started to suspect that Luke Skywalker was Leia's boyfriend and he decided that he didn't like it, in fact he hated the idea. The guy was treating her poorly and Din couldn't wrap his mind around it.

The brunette groaned rubbing her face with her hands. "Din?" She was drawing her hands down, resting them on her thighs, Din looked into her eyes "Remember when I told you that I used to live on Coruscant?" He nodded. "Alright. When I was around nine, my parents got divorced and my father threatened my mother, he told her that she could take me with her only if she relinquished custody of their other son, my twin brother, Luke."

Din's eyes went round, of course he knew that Leia had a twin brother, but she never told him the reason why they didn't grow up together and Din never inquired about it. He remembered seeing holopics of a young Leia and her blonde brother smiling and hugging each other and his stomach flipped, that little boy looked so happy and bright in those pics, so different from the man he met an hour ago, this Luke looked apathetic and angry, distant and even arrogant.

"So-" Leia continued "My mother was forced to move to Chandrila with me and leave Luke on Coruscant with my father, I haven't seen him in ten years, Din. Then, out of the blue, he showed up at my house last weekend, our father as well, and he asked my mother to talk in private. When they returned, mother told me that Luke was moving in with us for the last semester and, although I always dreamed about seeing Luke again, I realized that we are like two strangers living in the same house, it hurts so much when I think about it, but, I don't even know him, Din." She said as tears filled her eyes.

Din rubbed circles on her back and then brought her close to his chest, he rested his chin on her head, stroking her shoulders and arms and his heart clenched when he felt Leia's tears moistening the skin of his neck.

Din loved art class, he found out that he had a natural talent for drawing and he could spend hours practicing at home. He was sharpening his graphite pencil when he saw Luke Skywalker entering the room, and suddenly he was feeling uneasy. They locked eyes for a split second before Luke looked away and Din couldn't stop staring at him, he wanted to make a good impression. After all, Luke was his best friend's twin brother.

He cast a glance at Luke over his shoulder now and then, and the guy looked absent every single time, he was focused on his sketchbook, Din craned his neck to see what was Luke drawing, he frowned catching a glimpse of the drawing of a man in robes wielding a strange sword. Then he returned to the boy's face, Luke had a dimple in his chin, and full pink lips, his cheeks were as pale as the rest of his skin and his eyes were blue, his dark hair was covering his eyebrows and curling at the ends in a charming way, making him look boyish and adorable at the same time. The corner of Din's mouth quirked up slightly. He rested his cheek on his hand, trying to learn by heart every detail about Luke's face, as an artist, Din recognized beauty when he saw it, and Luke was beautiful. Din scratched his jaw frowning, focusing on his own sketchbook again, realizing that Luke was also mysterious and unreachable, and maybe that was the reason he was finding him beautiful. Still Din could sense something eerie and strange lying underneath that alluring outward appearance.

Once Din packed up his stuff he stood up swiftly at the same moment Luke was trying to brush past him, accidentally colliding with Din. Their chest were pressed together and Din widened his eyes staring at his face as embarrassment was taking him over. As a reflex, he grabbed Luke by his elbows swaying a little, the boy winced and looked at him grimacing, jerking his arms and escaping Din's grip.

"Sorry." He managed to say but Luke just nodded and he was already walking away. Din drew his hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose closing his eyes.

Trying to disregard the bad taste that the episode with Luke left in his mouth he headed towards the cafeteria, he nodded smiling at his friends sitting at a table and joined them, he frowned smiling when he realized they were all looking to the same direction "What are we looking at?" He asked and then his smile faded away when he found out that they were staring at Luke, the Skywalker boy was sitting alone two tables away from them.

"The new kid." Cobb snapped.

Din scratched the back of his head trying to ignore his friends' comments.

"I think he's weird." Paz said resting his arm on Din's backrest "He's nothing like Leia, they don't even share the same last name. Are you sure they're twins, vod?" He asked staring at him sideways. Din shrugged one arm shifting his gaze from Paz to Luke.

"Did Leia tell you why he was transferred in the middle of the last year?" Koska asked sipping caf.

Din shook his head slightly as Cobb Vanth rose to his feet "I don't care, I'm going over there." He said wiggling his eyebrows and smirking at them.

Cobb was conventionally handsome, when he walked into a room he turned every head, and above that, he was charming and cool. They usually joked about his strong sexual magnetism, no wonder he looked so self-confident approaching Luke.

He sat down next to Luke resting his forearm on the table, leaning in closer to him, Din watched the scene from afar keenly, he didn't know Luke but he was certain that he would roast Cobb right there and then.

"Look at him, he's in his element." Paz said chuckling "What do you think he's saying?"

"Whatever he's saying, he's losing him." Koska pointed out and Din couldn't help feeling a little relieved when Luke stood up to walk away while Cobb was staring at him bursting into laughter and running his hand through his hair, clearly embarrassed. He finally returned to their table.

"What was that, man?" Paz asked him amused. "First time I see you failing." He added grinning.

"He's as cold as Hoth, trust me." He answered putting his hands on his hips and biting his lip.

"Why?" Din asked scrolling through his datapad pretending that he wasn't interested at all "What did he say?" He looked up to meet Cobb's eyes.

His friend chuckled leaning forward "He told me to fuck off." Din arched his eyebrows schooling his expression in order to hide the unexpected feeling of satisfaction as the rest of his friends started tossing napkins and straws to Vanth.

After spending the rest of the day at the library, Din walked to his apartment, he was exhausted and starved, only thinking about taking a shower and snuggling down in his couch but when he was about to open the front door he saw Paz' stinky sock wrapped around the doorknob. He retched withdrawing his hand and he cursed Paz under his breath. Apparently he invited Koska over and now Din needed to improvise.

Dammit, Paz.

He considered it for a moment and then he decided that it was a good idea to pay Leia a visit, he left the building trying to convince himself that he wasn't thrilled at the likelihood of seeing Luke again that day.

Din rang the doorbell and shoved his hands in his pockets waiting for someone to answer, he blinked staring at the door, hissing, secretly expecting to see Luke's face the moment the door opened, he frowned wondering why he was so desperate to be around the guy. Was it because he was so elusive, so unreachable and so full of himself? His mouth twitched remembering the way Luke rebuffed Cobb.

Finally, the door opened and he smiled fondly when he saw Leia's face.

"Din!" She beamed putting her hands on his shoulders kissing his cheek "What are you doing here? I thought you were studying tonight!" She said closing the door behind them.

He looked around, swaying on his feet "Uh, Paz and Koska... Again." He said squeezing his eyes shut and wrinkling his nose, earning him a chuckle from Leia.

"Don't worry, the guest room is ready for you as usual, Din." She walked past him.

Din's eyes followed her moves as realization hit him, he stayed over at the Amidala's house quite often, but now it was different, he felt a shiver running down his spine when he thought that this time he would be sleeping under the same roof as Luke Skywalker and he blinked feeling confused as he tried to shrug off that idea.

He followed Leia into the dinner room "Look who's here, mom." She said sitting at the large table while her mother, Padmé Amidala stood up and walked towards Din, she nodded at him smiling.

"Welcome Din, we missed you." Din smiled back at her and they chatted a little before he could notice that Leia was nowhere in sight. "Please, Din, take a sit." And Din obliged. Padmé was carefully arranging her sophisticated georgette dress in order to sat down on the head seat, Leia came back and sat down next to Din giving him a goofy smile and he chuckled shaking his head. He loved spending time with the Amidala girls, Padmé became a mother figure to him very quickly, in some way he considered them their family. Maybe it was because of their affectionate nature, or maybe it was because Din has been a foundling since his parents died and he found in Leia and Padmé the family they've always longed to have.

They started eating, making a small talk when Luke walked into the room. Leia was talking about some guy she met that day and she made a pause when her brother came to a halt, his eyes fixed on Din. He froze.

"Good evening, son. Would you join us?" His mother asked with a gentle smile on her face "Have you met Leia's friend?"

"Huh? Yeah." Luke replied nonchalantly, avoiding Din's gaze and walking towards the table.

Luke was wearing a white tight long sleeve t-shirt and black sweatpants, he sat down across from Din and when he looked at him again, Din could see that he was also wearing thick black eyeliner that brought out the blue of his eyes.

Indeed he was mesh'la. Din thought, not able to tear his gaze away from him. Leia gave him the side-eye, clearing her throat.

"Din, are you thinking on pursue a career in politics like Leia?" Padmé asked bringing Din out of his mind.

"Mother." Leia huffed scolding her.

Padmé shrugged tilting her head "What did I say?"

Din smiled politely "I don't think I would, Senator. The only class I'm enjoying so far is art."

"Oh, Luke is in that class too." The matriarch casually mentioned and Din's eyes were immediately on Luke, he realized he looked tense.

He was resting his forearms on the table, clutching his fork so tightly that his knuckles went white. He uttered a snort "How do you know that?" Luke blurted staring at her as his brows drew together.

Din felt something unpleasant squirming in his stomach, Luke was being inconsiderate and harsh to everyone, including his own mother.

"I'm sorry, I talked to the dean, she's a good friend of mine." His mother looked down, brushing her fingers against her napkin, she seemed embarrassed.

They were silent for a while.

"So, Din is a very talented artist, mother." Leia said, in an obvious attempt to bring some positivity to the gathering.

"And so is Luke." Din said absentmindedly stirring his spoon inside his bowl, staring down as a lopsided smile crossed his face. When he realized he addressed Luke he pressed his lips together glaring at the boy in front of him, his fingers twitched around the spoon.

Luke was staring at him in silence, and if you asked Din, he looked offended but also astounded.

"Really?" Padmé asked heartily.

"I don't think so-" Luke replied narrowing his eyes looking at Din pointedly "Din." He added sardonically, he sipped at his glass and then put it down.

Din blinked staring at him, he understood right there and then that he shouldn't say a word about the boy again. It was curious but he was feeling fascinated by Luke's rudeness and disgruntled with that trait of him at the same time.

Padmé excused herself when one of the servant droids announced that she had an important holocom. Din was carefully watching the servant's every move until it left the room. "What is it?" Leia whispered putting her hand on Din's shoulder.

"Droids." Din muttered and he found that Luke has been staring at him the whole time. One arm hooked around the backrest of the vacant seat beside him, fingers digging into the scarlet velvet fabric of the chair, head tilted. Din looked away meeting Leia's eyes.

"Ugh! Right." Leia shook her head "Sorry, I forgot about that." She stood up slowly "Come Din." She said offering him her hand "Oh, and Luke." She said turning her face towards her brother "Din is staying over, he's staying in the guest room." She nodded at him as Din was trying to assess Luke's reaction.

"Okay." Luke said standing up and walking out the room.

Leia grunted "Fuck, I told you!" She said leaning against Din's arm "I can't fucking reach him, it's so frustrating." She sighed and Din agreed.

Totally relatable.

When he pictured his Friday night, he didn't imagine it like this, he was tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling thinking about all the stupid things he has done that day, and all of them involved Luke.

"Huh?" He realized that Luke Skywalker made him feel stupid and awkward and he hated that.

He hesitantly left his room that morning, a little anxious about the prospect of running into Luke while he was walking down the corridor, he was brushing his fingers across the wall when he made it into the living room, and, fuck! There was Luke, on the big couch, dressed as the night before, legs crossed, his hair tousled from sleeping, his eyelids puffy and his lips swollen.

So this is how you look like in the morning. Adorable.

"Din Djarin, isn't it?" He asked with a cup of caf between his lovely fingers, although Din didn't know why he found them lovely. Din nodded approaching him "Are you banging my sister?" He asked and Din felt a rush of heat spreading up from his neck to his cheeks. "Gods, I don't wanna know." Luke said shaking his head grabbing his datapad with one hand and bringing the cup to his lips with the other. Somehow Din was missing his blue eyes on him already.

"I'm not... you know. She's like a sister to me." Din said squaring his shoulders and puffing out his chest. Enough is enough! He wouldn't look like a little mouse daunted by Luke's arrogance anymore. He knew he looked broad and intimidating now and when Luke looked up at him again he could have sworn that, for a second, his blue eyes flickered.

But it didn't last. Luke was chuckling, gesturing at him with his caf cup "Congratulations then, you're the brother she never had." He smiled bitterly and his eyes looked sad and somehow, they were empty, shining with no light, making Din's hair stand on end.

"I'm not her brother. You are." Din deadpanned clenching his hands into fists. Luke's lips parted and he put his cup down. He uncrossed his legs leaning forward to stand up and Din felt the irrepressible urge to shove him against the couch and shut his stupid mouth with a furious kiss. And fuck! Now he knew what the hell was going on with him, he wanted to fuck Luke so badly that it made him look stupid.

He approached Din and walked around him in circles, finally leaning in to whisper in his ear "Why are you here?

Din swallowed tightly feeling like Luke was some kind of predator and he was his prey.

"I always stay over." He shrugged annoyed.

"And you are telling me that you're not my sister's lover." The guy retorted and Din moved his head to look at him, he was so close now that he could see the freckles on Luke's nose and yes, he wanted to ruin him against any surface available.

"Why do you care?" Din finally sputtered.

Luke lowered his gaze "I don't." He frowned and walked away.

Din stayed at Leia's until noon but Luke never showed up again. He finally returned to his apartment to have lunch with Paz, he wasn't listening to him while his friend was talking about the big fight Koska and him had earlier that morning, Din could only think about the way Luke Skywalker made him feel - insecure, desperate and eager. He knew he was being pathetic, the guy didn't even care about him, in fact, Luke didn't care about anyone, he was enigmatic, a puzzle, and Din was dying to put all the pieces together. His lips curled up into a smile daydreaming about making Luke feel good, making him feel warm and safe, wrapping his arms around him, kissing him until he fell asleep, making him feel at home.

"Vod!" Paz grumbled bringing him out of his reverie "You're not listening to me! Look at your face!" He snapped his fingers at him "Where were you last night? Dank farrik! Who was it?"

"What?"

His friend chuckled "C'mon Djarin, it's pretty obvious, you hooked up last night." Din's chest tightened as well as his tummy "So, who was it? You were parsecs away a second ago. Kriff, vod, you should have seen the look on your face, they've got you down bad. Huh?"

Din snorted out a laugh, shaking his head, for a second he considered tell him the truth, that he stayed at Leia's since he didn't want to entertain Paz' idea, but when he was about to tell him so, he suspected that Paz would connect the dots and realize that Din was having the weirdest, fattest crush on Luke Skywalker. He widened his eyes, feeling his cheeks warm, he couldn't believe that he was thinking that he had a crush on Leia's twin brother. It was something outrageous and foreign, being infatuated with someone he has just met.

"Your face is all red." Paz jabbed his finger in his cheek and Din jerked away grunting. "Alright, Din, don't tell me, go to hell." He stood up laughing and he towered over Din condescendingly patting his shoulder.

When Paz closed the main door behind him, Din chewed on his bottom lip, fingers fidgeting over the table, he drew in a sharp inhale, knowing that this one was going to be a long semester.

#dinluke #din djarin #luke skywalker #dinluke fanfiction #blunda fanfic #skydalorian

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vodika-vibes · 1 year ago

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Me remembering the Pen-pals AU that I crafted and thinking more about it.

*****

So, like, Palpatine hates the pen-pal program. I mean, he hates everything, but he really, really hates the pen-pal program. So while he sits in his office, seething, he realizes, "heyo, I can manipulate Anakin into hating this thing too!" So he calls Anakin to his office.

And Anakin arrives and he's thrilled because he hasn't been sent off planet in weeks and Padme bought a pretty green dress that she showed off for him, and his mind is focuses solely on her and not the old man in front of him-

"I think this pen-pal program is a scheme from the Jedi to weaken the Republic." Sheev says in a grandfatherly voice.

And Anakin's thoughts screech to a halt. Because. What? The Republic has never been stronger? Corrupt senators are being tossed out of office, and the men have people to return home to, which pushes them to fight harder than ever before.

"I need your help in stopping this, Anakin." Sheev continues.

And Anakin, dear, sweet, kind Anakin. Who acts first and thinks later, just. Stops.

Rex was in the middle of planning his wedding to a sweet woman he met through the pen-pal program.

Kix had strong armed his brothers into helping repair the house of his pen-pal, a single mother.

Fives and Echo had been adopted by a family, and they spent hours talking about their new parents' Life Day events.

Jesse had enthusiastically introduced Anakin to his pen-friend, a college aged art student who had happily painted a mural in the rec room on the Resolute.

And Anakin smiles at the man who had once been his friend, "I'm sorry, Chancillor. I won't help you with this. You're on your own." And he leaves, because he has a wedding he needs new robes for, and Hardcase had asked him to help him prepare to meet his pen-pal.

And Anakin leaves and Sheev stares at the closed door and watches as his carefully laid plans shatter at his feet.

And then his office door opens, and Bail Organa steps into his office with many members of the Coruscant Guard on his heels. And Bail smiles, "Hello Mister Palpatine. I'm afraid you've been replaced as Chancillor. These nice men are here to escort you out of the office, and to bring you to an interrogation room. We have some questions about your affiliations with the Separatists."

#vod'ika writes #pen-pal au #just a thought that i had

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starlightstevie · 4 years ago

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fics rec / january 2021

And I’m back with another fic rec! There’s some absolute goodies in this month’s rec - I hope you enjoy them as much as I did! Happy reading x

(* is smut)

*tale as old as time (series) by @spacelabrathor Beast!Thor x reader: Thor is a beast, prowling the halls of an empty castle alone, living a life of cold, barren solitude. Villagers visit once yearly to bring him gifts he does not seek, piling valueless trinkets at his gate they feel will keep him appeased. They hate Thor and Thor knows, someday, that they will breach his gates and come for his head. He wonders to himself, often, if he will try to stop them when they do. This year, though, the offering has changed. Thor finds not trinkets at his front gate, but a girl, and then everything begins to change.

COWBOY THOR COWBOY THOR COWBOY THOR by @inthorantine While not officially out yet, I am putting this here because everyone needs to read this! Kait has outdone herself and no, I will not stop talking about this for the next 500 years. Here’s some h/c to keep you going until it comes out! One | Two

*if I love you was a promise by @blueberrythor Thor x reader: Thor doesn’t consider himself a jealous man–there aren’t many who could compare to him, especially among mortals. He hasn’t had much reason to acquaint himself with the feeling. But watching you with Steve, even he isn’t immune to the sharp sting of jealousy.

*The Watching by @opheliadawnwalker3 Thor x reader (some Loki x reader): Reader has been dating Thor for about a year and is celebrating her first Yuletide on Asgard. But she’s unprepared for certain traditions that are expected of her. Or that these traditions also involve Thor and his companions.

*Desperate Measures by @lancsnerd Thor x reader: When an agent is affected by sex pollen and needs assistance, just how helpful will Thor be?

*passionate & burning by @peachyteabuck Thor x reader: You’re busy with working from home, but Thor has other plans for the day.

*my pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand by @spacelabrathor Frontier!Thor x reader: Thor makes a home and a life for his family out on the rugged frontier of the Old West. The winters are unforgiving but he keeps them safe and warm. At night, their cabin glows with firelight and the warmth of their company. A small slice of their life together.

*survive the summer and its sequel *hungry for me by @peachyteabuck (Dubcon) Thor x reader: A stranger approaches you on a warm summers day.

*the fluffer (series) by @punani Masterlist 70′s pornstar!Chris Evans x black!reader: It’s the 70′s and the erotic videos industry is experiencing another boom after the risen popularity in the previous decade. The studio’s are hot, Gemini Flanagan is a brand, and you’re a newly hired assistant at Shaggin’ Studios. Chris takes a liking to you, altering your job description so that you get to work more closely with him. Is this all just physical, or is there something more?

*old flannel by @honeysucklesteve Chris x reader: an innocent night of lounging in his old flannel leads to not to innocent touches.

*sunday football by @honeysucklesteve Chris x reader: Chris sits you on his lap as he teaches you all about football.

*grocery run by @honeysucklesteve Chris x reader: Innocently wearing Chris’ shirt leads to you finding out just how much he can’t resist you.

*Captain by @chrissquares Nomad!Steve x reader: You call Steve a name that drives him wild.

*A Birthday Gift by @the-iceni-bitch Nomad!Steve x reader: The nomad crew have been holed up with you for months and tensions are high. Nat, being an unrepentant pot stirrer, decides to arrange a pleasant birthday surprise for you.

*let me come home to you (series) by @evansweaters Masterlist Alpha!Steve x Omega!Reader: After years at a dead-end job shouldering everyone’s expectations for you but your own, you’re finally free to be whoever you want, go wherever you want. That is, until a series of unfortunate events strand you in amber’s end, where the sheriff – and notoriously unmated pack alpha – decides to take you in.

*mountainside by @honeysucklesteve Nomad!Steve x reader: Steve needs something to give him a release and you do just that.

*steve needs to relax, good thing you’re here by @honeysucklesteve

*Such a Shame by @angrythingstarlight Steve x reader: You owe him for saving your life, the price is more than you were willing to pay, such a shame you have to force his hand.

*Captain Jealousy by @nony-bear Steve x reader: You and Steve have been keeping your relationship a secret to avoid public backlash for your age difference. However, after watching Steve flirt with a new agent at one of Tony Stark’s famous parties, your jealousy and frustration come to a head.

*A Christmas Compromise by @stargazingfangirl18 Ransom x reader: Even if you wouldn’t admit it to yourself, all you wanted for Christmas was Ransom.

*a man of god by @punani Priest!Ransom x reader: You’ve always been a good girl– attending mass regularly, never been touched by yourself or another, and the way that you dress? a naive innocence radiates off of you. even a man of god can’t help himself, not that he puts any effort into refraining from forbidden fruit.

*Naughty or Nice by @sweeterthanthis Ransom x reader: Getting caught nibbling on forbidden holiday treats.

*her cherry lips on his whiskey flavoured kiss by @cloudystevie Ransom x reader: The moment he met you, he knew.

Not My Style by @chrissquares Ransom x reader: With cold weather comes dry lips..

*In Good Hands by @ozarkthedog (Dark) Doctor!Andy Barber x reader: Your usual OBGYN Doctor got called away leaving Dr. Barber to administer your pap exam.

*Drowning by @savior-adriana Andy x reader: You love working as Jacob’s tutor in German. Not necessarily because you love the language or the teen’s attitude, but because it means you get to spend time alone with a certain Andy Barber once a week.

*Something Old, Something New by @sweeterthanthis Stepdad!Bucky x reader: To this day you couldn’t work out why he’d chosen your mother. They were total opposites, a mismatched couple if ever you saw one. Yet, you watched it play out – thinking, hoping, that he’d never go through with it.

*Beg for Daddy by @sweeterthanthis Stepdad!Bucky x reader: The thought of your mother passed out next door, the other side of your bedroom wall, did nothing to quell the intense hunger you felt for him.

*it’s the right time to roll to me (series) by @blueberrythor Masterlist Bucky x married!reader: Stuck in an unhappy marriage, you find solace in Bucky.

*about last week by @xbuchananbarnes Bucky x reader: You’ve been avoiding Bucky.

*need by @cloudystevie Bucky x reader: You’re horni for Bonky’s metal hand

Season of the Witch by @msmarvelwrites Bucky x reader: Your witchy abilities get you in quite a bit of trouble from time to time… But this time you don’t mind so much.

*The Bet (series) by @no-droids Part One | Part Two Poe x reader: There are 3 rules to the bet between you and your x-wing commander: No sex, No touching yourself, No orgasms.

*the shakes by @whistlingwillows Poe x reader: “It’s the Shakes, darling. Makes everything excruciating.” Or, you’re experiencing the terrible side effects of being horny and Poe Dameron knows just how to fix it.

Mornings with Modern!Poe by @okay-hotshot Modern!Poe x reader: You and Poe try to have some alone time while you wait for your morning coffee and tea to brew, only to have your child interrupt you and run away yowling.

frigid by @whirlybirbs Mando x reader: Din doesn’t like the ocean. You’re soaked.

Getting vulnerable with Mando by @cptnbvcks

*men of the bau: kinks by @luciilferss

open road by @gayprentiss Emily Prentiss x JJ Jareau: After retiring from the BAU, JJ and Emily decide to forgo an apartment in favor of an old sprinter van.

*Teacher’s Pet by @imagining-in-the-margins Professor!Reid x reader: There are only a few reasons to sign up for Criminal Psychology. You could be like the reasonable students and join the class because you are genuinely interested in the material, or you could be like the rest of us. That is, you could enroll in the class because the professor is a fine piece of ass fresh out of prison.

*Spencer taking you in the library by @spenciebabie

*of terrible coffee and late-night rides by @venusbarnes Hotch x reader: A collection of moments throughout your relationship with one Aaron Hotchner.

*fragrance by @whistlingwillows College!Hotch x reader: Plato said, “The god of love lives in a state of need. It is a need. It is an urge. It is a homeostatic imbalance. Like hunger and thirst, it's almost impossible to stamp out.”

*bitter end (series) by @whistlingwillows Masterlist Hotch x reader: Author Sarah Dessen wrote, “Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”

*Beard Kink by @reidsexualwriting Hotch x reader: Hotch with a beard has you feeling all types of ways.

*Lunch break by @arganfics Hotch x reader: You help Hotch relax after a tough day.

*Early Mornings by @mrvltwimagines Hotch x reader: The very rare mornings where you wake up and your boyfriend was still home and in bed were definitely cherished by you.

*Do you like that? Being in control? by @writefasttalkevenfaster Hotch x reader: You decide that Hotch needs a break from being in charge.

*Waking up Hotch with a blowjob by @writefasttalkevenfaster

Taking a day off with Hotch by @ssahoodrathotchner

*eat until your blood sings by @peachyteabuck Tony Stark x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Carol Danvers x Clint Barton x Thor Odinson x reader: Gangbang with the Avengers.

*Anakin Skywalker has a big dick by @anakinswhore

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anisstories · 3 years ago

Text

I Don't Want This

Chapter 6

The Next Morning

When Y/N awoke in the morning, she panicked, she didn’t know this room, and then she turned around. There was Anakin asleep, the sun shining on his face. His hair seemed to become even more golden. Y/N still felt tipsy. She looked at the foot of the bed and there were her clothes. It was 5 in the morning and no sound was heard. I doubt anyone’s awake, I’ll change, leave a note, and get a cab to the company. Shit, how strong is a Flameout? I'm falling back into a drunken state. Before that could happen she stood up, put her clothes on, went to Anakin’s desk grabbed a post-it, and started to right:

Hey Anakin,

I didn’t want to wake you up. Thanks for letting me crash here last night. Sorry for being such a bother. I promise I will never drink when you're around.

Next time I see you we'll be "happily married".

Warm Regards,

Y/N

Heiress to the Aridam Empire XD.

Anakin awoke to the sound of shuffling in his room. He turned around and saw Y/N writing something on a sticky note. The events of last night came to his mind. WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE? I should have kicked her out yesterday. She'll pay at this moment. Anakin got out of bed and stalked over to her. Y/N turned around only to be met with Anakin's bare chest. His pectorals glistened in the sunlight. "Hey, sorry I didn't mean to wake you. I was just about to leave. Sorry for-" "Last night I brought you into my home and you know who saw? Padmé. You already ruined my relationship. So you're going to stay here and we're going to be caught sleeping together. I don't care if your dignity is at stake." Anakin said as he pushed Y/N onto the bed. "Strip" Anakin said his voice and face were void of emotion. "w-what do you m-mean strip?" "Strip. Don't make me repeat myself." She felt a weight next to her. "I don't want to touch your disgusting body. So strip and go back to sleep. If you don’t I’m going to have to strip you myself, and you won’t like that." Y/N felt so embarrassed but she started stripping, fearing what Anakin would do if she disobeyed. She hesitated when she reached her panties. "Keep your underwear on." He opened the comforter for her. She stepped in, her back facing his chest, and felt Anakin's arms wrap around her bare waist. She felt so vulnerable in only her bra and panties. She knew that if someone walked in she would face the biggest embarrassment of her life. She started to squirm, to get away. But his grip tightened. "I said go to sleep," he growled. Anakin wasn't human anymore. He had gone feral. The love of his life was probably lost and all because of this stupid girl that laid next to him.

There was no going through to him. He roughly turned Y/N around. "Stop squirming. You said you'd follow my lead, so do it." He pulled her closer. Y/N started hitting his chest, muttering I hate you. Anakin grabbed her wrists. "Stop" his voice an octave lower. Y/N stopped. I hate you too, Y/N. Once we get married, I'll make your life a living hell. Anakin started to rub her back. Trying to get her to sleep. He wanted this to seem natural. He finally heard light snoring from Y/N. He went to grab his phone but feared the messages he would find there. He placed it back and started playing with Y/N's hair to help him fall asleep.

At 7 there was a knock at his door. Y/N jolted but Anakin held her tighter. He pulled the comforter low enough to reveal his bare chest and Y/N's bra. Then he heard Owen's voice "If I don't hear shuffling in 1 second I'm coming in." Of course it had to be this asshole. He grabbed Y/N's chin and started nuzzling into her neck. This caused Y/N to start whimpering. "You’re a piece of shit, you know that?" she said as she tried to push him away. “So I’ve heard” he mumbled. Anakin got tired of getting pushed away, so he flipped them over. He was hovering above her. Y/N’s arms got tired so he just pulled them to her side. This caused the comforter to fall off the bed. Owen walked in to see Anakin on top of Y/N. "Oh Maker. Fuck. Oh shit, I'm so sorry." Owen stuttered. "Can you stop staring at MY girl?" Anakin growled. "I wasn't staring at her. I was staring at you. Are you that insatiable?" Owen started laughing. "What do you - " and Anakin groans. Y/N accidentally brushed her leg against Anakin's groin and he felt a strong surge of pleasure coarse through his body. Shit, I was supposed to be mad. Not get turned on. "USE PROTECTION KIDS '' Owen closed the door and Anakin’s alarm clock hit it. He could hear Owen's laughter down the hall.

Y/N looked at Anakin’s sweatpants. There was a large bulge in them. When I brushed against it, his face contorted, I think it was out of pain. Y/N started brushing her knee against it. Anakin's eyes nearly popped out of his socket. "Mm..stop." Anakin was becoming less mad. Fuck this is bad... "No, this is payback for this morning." Y/N started brushing faster and harder. "Y-Y/N, h-hold o-o-oh Fuck!" Anakin spit. He fell on top of her chest. Y/N would've been mad. But when he fell onto her chest she had better access to that spot. Anakin started thrusting his hips into her knee. Y/N's name falling out of his lips. At this moment Y/N realized he hadn't groaned out of pain, he had groaned out of pleasure. So she pulled her knee away. Anakin's hips thrust into the air. Y/N heard Anakin moan out in pain. "Y-you, you’re a bitch" he growled. “Says the guy who forced me to strip.” She tried to get up only to fail, as Anakin had a death grip on her waist. "Hey let go," Y/N grumbled. Anakin refused. His breathing was labored and his forehead had a layer of sweat. "It hurts. Give me a fucking second!” he yelled. Y/N rolled her eyes, muttered I hope you die of pain and reached for her phone, or that’s what she thought at least. When she opened “her” phone she saw a bunch of messages.

Anakin I can’t believe you did that.

I fucking knew it. You’re a piece of shit.

I hope you get thrown into a ditch.

I can’t believe you got with my best friend.

I hope you both die.

We are done.

Don’t look or try to talk to me.

Y/N dropped the cellphone. It fell on Anakin’s head. “I’m already in pain and you dropped a cellphone on my head. I fucking hate you.” as he looked up he saw Y/N looking at him with guilty eyes. “I thought that was my phone and I read the messages Padme sent you. I’m sorry I fucked up your relationship,” she mumbled. “What do they say?” he asked, his tone cold and detached. Y/N started to read aloud the messages and Anakin felt his heart crack piece by piece. “Oh well, it was bound to happen,” he felt a sharp sting on his cheek. “How can you say that? I mean you have her as LOML on your contacts. You said you were gonna get us out of it and suddenly you're okay with getting married to me?” she said. “You don’t even feel a tiny bit sad. Don’t you want to scream or cry? If that was me I'd be very outraged." Y/N looked out the window. "Can you be logical? You think we were going to convince our parents. That was a false hope Y/N. They were gonna force us to get married. Padme isn't the type to share her boyfriend so its end was inevitable anyway." Anakin grumbled. I can't make her life miserable. She is suffering just as much as I am. I mean Y/N's here saying sorry for ruining my relationship. And it wasn't even her fault. I should be the one on my knees begging for forgiveness. I forced her to strip. Anakin got up and knelt before her. "Huh?! Anakin what are you doing?" She asked as she sat up. "I'm sorry. I was just so mad and so sad that I had lost Padme. I lost all human decency and forced you to strip. I'm sorry. I know that's not enough but I'm afraid that's all I have." Anakin's voice cracked. He was so ashamed of what he'd done.

Y/N felt bad. She knew he had done those things out of rage, but it doesn’t mean they didn’t hurt her. She reached for his arm and pulled him up. “It’s okay, I know you did them out of rage.” Anakin’s face lit up, he was so happy he could hug her, as he was about to, she opened her mouth. “But, can I ask you for a favor?” She asked. Anakin blankly looked at her. She panicked and spoke up “I’m sorry, never mind, I just-” “Hey, I didn’t even answer. What is your request?” Anakin grabbed onto her shoulders. “I was wondering if you could convince my father to let me finish my Master's?” She asked while looking at her lap. “I don't know if I could convince your Father” Y/N’s eyes started to get sad, “But I can convince my father to pay your college tuition and you can go secretly.” Y/N jumped up and into Anakin’s arms. He lost his balance so before he fell he pushed himself onto the bed. His cheek falling against her lips. “Oh damn, I smeared your lipstick.” “It’s fine.” Y/N started to giggle. “Thank you, Anakin,” she smiled so brightly and softly, but she was also crying, his heart fluttering. “Yea, no problem.” Anakin's voice sounded wistful, but Y/N didn’t hear it, she was too busy swimming in his clear blue eyes. “I never noticed,” Y/N whispered. Anakin hummed, asking her to continue. “Your eyes, they look like a lake.” she giggled. “They are pretty. If you looked up at the sun, your eyes would probably glitter like a real lake.” Anakin felt so flustered. No one ever complimented his eyes. Well, they had, but not in the way Y/N had. It was always nice eyes. You probably get all the chick with those eyes. “Thank you, your eyes are pretty too.” “Your E/C eyes lit up. “They get all bright and shimmery when you're excited about something. They get dull when you’re sad or frustrated. When you get embarrassed they glitter more than they’re supposed to.” Anakin started leaning in. The moment was shattered when they heard a commotion downstairs.

Taglist

@songbirdcannabe

@blondekel77

Note:

My summer classes have started so I will begin to post on Mondays. Thank you for understanding.

#anakin x padme #anakin x reader #anakin skywalker smut #captain rex #stawars #anakin fluff #anakin angst #new fanfic #anakin imagine #anakin skywalker #obi wan #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka #star wars ahsoka

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mxigo · 4 years ago

Text

Back Home

Eren x Reader Reiner & Reader, Reiner x Reader if you squint Fem!Reader Older Eren, season 4 age Modern AU, College AU Part 1 Words: 3.6k Summary: After you went on to college and after he stopped all communication with you, Eren is back from overseas, and you see him for the first time since graduation. Part 2

Living at home and going to community college had its perks, like paying a fraction of the cost for classes that would be a fortune at a university, living rent free, staying in a home that was comfortable to live in. But, at the same time, it was also suffocating. Almost all of your friends have moved on, went to University, or just moved out of your hometown to go to the University a city over. While they were still less than an hour away from you, between school and work schedules, you almost never saw them. Reiner, Bertoldt, and Annie were probably the only ones that you actively saw since they are living at home and just commute every day, but that doesn’t mean that you all hang out every night.

Looking back at your high school memories, everyone has changed so much since the first day you all met sophomore year. Connie has finally hit his growth spurt, along with Armin and even Jean has grown quite a bit. Sasha is still her goofy self, but she’s become more controlled of when she lets herself loose. Mikasa hasn’t changed at all, still her stoic and blunt self, but that’s what you love about her. She doesn’t hesitate to tell you the truth out right when you need it. And Eren . . .

Well, Eren you haven’t seen or spoken to since he left to go with his brother overseas for a security job right after graduation. Zeke had convinced him to go back and work with him, and while everyone, including you, supported him, you still missed him terribly. He used to talk to you while he was in training and while he was working, but he just stopped. No warning, no anything. It was like he just forgot you existed. And you know that happens to high school friends when they all go their separate ways, you’re not stupid, but it still hurts knowing that one of your best friends has essentially forgotten about you and moved on. It also doesn’t help that you had harbored feelings for the boy since you met him four years ago, and now you’re just left to wonder what happened between the two of you that made him disappear off the face of the earth.

Tonight, everyone is coming back home for the weekend and hanging out at Reiner’s place. Everyone will be there. It’s going to be just like the old days when you all would hang out for a weekend, but this time there was going to be heavy drinking.

By the time you arrive at Reiner’s, everyone except for Mikasa and Armin are already there. Sasha explained to you that they had to go do something before they came, but they’ll be here later.

“That’s fine. Did they say what they were doing,” you ask as she grabs you another raspberry Twisted Tea from the cooler.

“No, just that they’ll be here soon.” She looks at the clock on the stove and nods. “Yeah, they should be here pretty soon.” The two of you go ahead and take your spots in the living room while Reiner sets up a playlist to listen to while you guys hang out. He has some windows cracked open to let the cool spring air into the house to keep it from getting too hot, and it feels nice on your warm skin.

“Alright, before we get started, is there anything that anyone wants to do first,” Reiner asks, taking his seat between you and Connie.

“I say we just put on a TikTok/Vine comp until Armin and Mikasa get here. I’d hate to start anything without them,” Connie answers, and everyone agrees.

“Wait let’s put on Revenge of the Sith,” Marco shouts from the kitchen. Everyone nods their head in excitement.

“I wanna see Anakin commit war crimes!”

You all laugh, and Reiner goes ahead and starts playing Episode Three so you all can wait to start the fun for when Mikasa and Armin arrive. You’ve adjusted yourself so you’re leaning most of your body onto Reiner’s side, and he’s moved to where the both of you are comfortable with his arm on the top of the couch so you can lay further into his side. Despite him being nearly being all muscle, he’s still really comfortable to lay on. And don’t get it wrong, Reiner is a very attractive individual, and older than you by two years, but you’ve only ever seen him as a friend, and so does he.

The movie has played through Order 66 before the front door opens up and Mikasa and Armin walk in. Armin smiles and waves at everyone, but Mikasa is still halfway through the door, looking outside at something.

“Hi everyone!”

“Armin, took you guys long enough! Where’ve you been,” Jean asks, shouting form the living room.

“Oh you know, picking up stragglers,” he answers, and your heart drops as Eren walks through the door. Everyone shouts his name in unison, surprised. He’s so tall now, and his hair is long enough for him to pull it back into a bun now. He’s filled out completely now with lean muscle and although his features haven’t changed drastically, he holds himself like a man at nineteen years old. A smile stretches across his face when he sees everyone.

“Hey guys.” And holy shit, his voice has gotten deeper too. He was attractive during high school, but it’s like a second puberty has hit him like a fucking freight train. Your heart starts picking up speed and you can’t tear your eyes from him.

Historia is the first to get up from her spot, wrapping him in a hug. His face softens as the small blonde tries to crush him.

“When did you come home?” She looks up at him and your heart clenches at the soft smile he gives her.

“Mikasa and Armin just picked me up from the airport.” His hand is rubbing up and down her back as they stand in the door way embracing each other. Eren and Historia have always had a bit of a thing for each other, and you guess it’s never gone away.

“And you didn’t tell me?! No wonder you weren’t snapping me back.” At that, you turn cold, and shift your attention back to the movie. You feel hollow, but hurt at the same time. He’s been keeping in touch with Historia? Who else has he been keeping up with? Are you the only one he’s dropped? These questions start swarming around in your head when you feel Reiner’s hand tap your shoulder. You break out of your thoughts, looking up at him. A look of worry covers his face as he looks down at you.

“Hey, are you okay,” he asks, his voice low enough to where no one else can hear.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you whisper, going ahead and downing the last of your Twisted Tea. He raises an eyebrow at you but says nothing more as he turns his attention back to the movie as well.

Everyone comes back into the living room, constantly asking Eren questions like where he’s been, what’s it like in Germany, and how long he plans to stay home.

“Well, I’m taking a vacation for the time being. It’s not planned yet when I’m going back,” he answers while he takes a seat in the couch across from where you’re sitting. He settles into his seat next to Mikasa so he’s halfway facing the tv and you. You continue to stare at the tv, but you aren’t actually watching it. You’re too distracted from Eren being right across from you to actually focus. His legs stretch out from the couch as she slumps to the arm rest, legs splayed open. He seems so different from the teenager that you used to hang out with, and he hasn’t even acknowledged you yet.

You sigh and lean a bit more into Reiner’s side, and he brings his arm back down from the top to lay it across your side to comfort you. He probably knows what’s going on, but thankfully hasn’t said anything to you yet. You don’t know if you would be able to say anything about it right now, especially while Eren’s right in front of you. The movement catches Eren’s eye and you see him shift his gaze from the tv to the two of you, his brows furrowing slightly. It makes you uncomfortable.

The movie ends quickly enough, and Sasha jumps up from her seat next to you.

“Okay, now can we start playing games? I was thinking of Never Have I Ever but instead of putting down fingers, you take a shot. It’s a good way to get fucked up but also find out what everyone’s been up to.” You all look around amongst yourselves, and you see Ymir shrug her shoulders.

“Eh why not?” Everyone starts getting up to sit in a circle while Jean and Reiner grab the alcohol and shot glasses from the kitchen. They come back and put the bottles in the middle while everyone chooses a glass. Reiner comes back and takes his seat next to you, pouring you and himself a shot of Petron. You give Reiner a look.

“Tequila? You really do want the both of us gone by the end of the night. How am I supposed to walk home,” you giggle and Reiner smiles.

“You know you’re more than welcome to crash here. Spare room is still empty.” You shrug, situating yourself so your legs are crossed over each other but you’re still leaning slightly towards Reiner.

“I’ll consider it as this night goes on, just depends on how trashed I’ll get.” You give him a soft smile and change your attention to the rest of the group. They’re all still pouring their shots and getting comfortable on the carpeted floor, but as your eyes scan over everyone, you notice that Eren is staring at you. Like, full blown staring at you and doesn’t even avoid your eyes as they meet. Your eyes quickly flick away as you continue looking around the room.

Jean is the first to voice up, eyes afire with mischief.

“Alright assholes, since we all haven’t been in the same room together for quite some time, there is no holding back on the questions. Who knows what we all have gotten into while we were scattered. I’ll go first. Never have I ever,” he starts, wearing a shit-eating grin. “Gotten arrested.” Ymir, Reiner, Annie, and Eren all take a shot. You grin, remembering how Reiner ended up in handcuffs in the back of a cop car for getting into a brawl with another guy. His arm comes over to nudge you playfully and you smack him.

“Reiner?! What did you do to get arrested? You’re like, an All-American, what happened,” Marco asks from the left of you, his face displaying his disbelief. You giggle, looking up at Reiner.

“Yeah, Reiner. What ever did happen that night,” you tease, leaning back on to one of your hands while you sip your drink.

“I uh, I was fighting a guy outside of a bar a few months back. I took her out for her birthday and this guy was being all gross to her, so we left to go to a different bar, and he followed us out. It was a long night for us.”

“Fuck yeah it was. I was up all night trying to get you out of the county jail and to figure out what I was going to tell your mother if she called to ask where we were at,” you said. Everyone laughed before shifting their attention to the other boy who had taken a shot.

“Eren, why were you arrested?”

“I was doing an undercover surveillance mission for Zeke, but I got caught and the people I was tailing had their police arrest me,” he answers, leaning back against the bottom of the couch, crossing his arms.

“Oh that’s so cool,” Historia coos, resting her head on her hand all dreamy. Her attraction towards him is so obvious and blatant it could almost make you gag.

“Anyways, my turn!” Connie sits up. “Never have I ever had feelings for anyone in this room.”

Everyone but Annie and Mikasa take a shot. The tequila burns as it goes down, sending a shiver down your spine. You make a face afterwards, looking at Reiner who had taken another shot.

“You really are trying to kill me.”

“Wait! Who did you have feelings for?” Sasha stares at you from your other side, not missing that you drank. A deep blush starts spreading across your face at the question.

“I’d rather not say,” you mumble.

“Why? Is it because you still like them? Oh my, God, it is!” She continues rambling and you sit there, half-way mortified. All eyes were on you as you sit there frozen in embarrassment.

“Sasha be considerate. There’s probably a few of us that do have feelings for someone in this room,” Armin speaks up, his own face having a slight red hue.

“That’s because we already know who you’re still pining for.”

“H-Hey!” His eyes dart to Annie who is sitting there bored.

The attention shifts away from you and you take a deep breath to calm your racing heart. The last thing you need is for everyone to start prying at your feelings for boy across from you. As they all converse about the last question, your eyes glance over at Eren and find him still staring at you. Shit. He might start putting two and two together if you keep looking at him.

Reiner on the other hand, has already figured it out. He taps your foot with his, giving you a raised eyebrow in surprise when you look up at him. You shake your head slowly, giving him The Look. Not a damn word. He raises his hands in surrender and you two leave it for now. You don’t doubt he’ll bring it up later, probably tomorrow when the two of you go out for lunch.

“Okay, enough of this. Never have I ever made out with someone in this room.” Fuck. Ymir was coming for your throat as you downed another shot, Reiner doing the same. Ymir and Historia took a shot, along with Connie and Sasha. The two other pairings the group expected, but you and Reiner sat there with flaming faces.

“Okay, what the fuck, what have y’all been doing while the rest of us were out at school?” You giggle at Jean’s question while everyone’s attention was back on the two of you again. Reiner scratched the back of his neck, remembering that night.

“We were both really drunk, let’s just leave it at that,” he says.

“Oooh so you guys have been getting frisky while the rest of us were away,” Jean’s teasing tone pokes at you as you stare hard at your glass as you refill it.

You two really were drunk, absolutely fucking trashed kind of drunk. It was his birthday, and you, Reiner, Bertoldt, and Annie all decided to get wasted that night at Reiner’s house. Annie and Bert went to bed early, but you and Reiner continued drinking into the early hours of the morning. It wasn’t anything out of feelings, it was just mutual attraction in a drunken haze. He was soft, gentle, but you didn’t feel anything as you were doing it. No sparks, no butterflies or giddiness. Just, nothing. You guys just laughed it off in the morning, and nothing else came of it. Reiner’s fucking hot as hell, but you can only see him as a friend, and he views you as the same.

“No, it’s not like that,” Reiner tries to defend.

“Fuck yeah it is! She never had a relationship with anyone in high school, but now that we’re all gone, y’all have started to hang out a bit more, hm? It’s not hard to see you guys have the hots for each other,” Jean pauses, his eyes brightening as he comes to his own realization. “Holy shit, she absolutely has a crush on you, Reiner. You’re the reason she took a shot.”

“No! You’re getting the wrong idea,” you say, panic lacing your voice.

“C’mon, there’s no shame in crushing on Reiner. Everyone here knows he’s always had ladies falling at his feet,” Hitch speaks up, a sly smirk on her face as she takes a sip of her beer.

“We’re only friends, it’s all it is,” Reiner speaks up, his tone solid. Hitch puts her hands up.

“Alright, whatever you guys say.”

You stare down at the carpet, discomfort washing over you. You knew this would happen, and there’s no changing anyone’s mind. The only reason you two became close was because you lived close, and you were able to just meet up out of the blue and not have to plan to meet up. It was easy. But it doesn’t matter, because now everyone thinks that you like Reiner romantically.

“Hey.” You look up, finding Reiner looking down at you with concern. “Don’t worry about them. They’re stupid.” You nod, not really believing him. You go back to staring at the floor.

“Okay here’s a good one for all of us to take a shot. Never have I ever slept with someone.” They all take a shot, except you. Of course you wouldn’t, because there hasn’t been anyone. You stay home, hangout with the others platonically, and then go to school or work. It’s all your life consists of anymore.

“For real? Still a virgin?” Ymir asks you from across the room, but you don’t acknowledge, just pulling your legs to your chest. No one says anything, clearly seeing that you’re not going to engage with anyone for the time being.

“Never have I ever . . .”

The questions continued to progress in suggestiveness, escalating from clothed grinding to giving head. And of course, you didn’t take another shot for any of them. The two shots you did have along with the Twisted Tea was enough to make you buzzed nevertheless, but it just made you feel like you’re in limbo.

You whisper to Reiner that you’re going to go get another drink before quietly making your way out of the living room. The laughs and conversation dies down as you walk to the laundry room fridge to grab the moonshine that you kept hidden in the freezer. Reiner brought a couple of jars back for you from his trip to Gatlinburg, and you were sadly on your last one. You pull a red cup from a cupboard and start pouring the apple pie flavored liquor, watching as the dark gold liquid swirling in the cup. You hear footsteps walking down the hall, but you don’t pay mind to it until you see the person standing right next to you in the doorway. Your eyes glance up and you almost drop the slick jar when you meet blue-green eyes. Eren stands in the doorway, watching you as you stand frozen like a deer in headlights.

“Uh, hey,” you finally get out, almost grimacing at how shaky your voice is.

“Hi.”

A pause.

“Do you uh, want any moonshine?” His brows furrow before he shakes his head.

“No, that’s okay. Didn’t know Reiner was a moonshine guy.”

“He’s not. It’s mine.” A single eyebrow raises.

“Reiner keeps alcohol here for you?”

Your heart starts racing as you imagine what he’s thinking.

“It’s just for when I come over, and special occasions,” you defend, your voice quiet. Eren stands up from leaning against the door frame and starts walking into the room.

“Didn’t know you were a moonshine girl,” he says, his voice dropping as he nears you.

“Not all the time.”

“Then what are you the rest of the time, hm? Beer? Whiskey? Or are you sweeter than that, like Malibu and Bailey’s?” He’s so close now, only a few inches between your chest and his, the only thing separating you is your cup. He towers over you as his hooded eyes gaze into yours with an intensity that makes your breath catch. Your heart is thundering in your ears as you try to keep your breath steady and not give away how fucking nervous you are right now.

“I guess you wouldn’t really know anymore, would you?”

His face drops at your words, picking up on the subtle hurt laced through them. He takes a breath and brings a hand up to your face, his palm resting on your neck right under your ear as his thumb starts to stroke your cheek. Your breath stutters at the feeling of his warm yet calloused hand.

“No, I guess I wouldn’t,” he breathes, and the scent heavy liquor hits your nose, making you snap out of your trance. Your heart sinks as you realize what’s happening.

“You’re drunk,” you whisper, eyes downcast to avoid his own.

“Tipsy, yes. Drunk? Not even close.” It doesn’t matter though. He’s not sober and you know that he wouldn’t be doing this if he was. You brush his hand away from your neck and walk past him back out into the hallway. You can hear him say your name to get you to wait but you keep walking, cup held tightly in front of you. He was just playing with you. That moment didn’t mean anything.

The gang is still in the living room, but they’ve moved back up onto the couches and chair as they watch The Hangover. Your spot by Reiner is still empty which you’re grateful for as you deflate back into his side, taking a long pull from your ‘shine. He tilts his head down, catching what’s in your cup.

“Everything okay?”

“Just peachy.”

“Okay. If you want to, we can talk later once everyone crashes for the night.”

You look up at him, smiling once you meet his eyes.

“Thank you, I’ll think about it.”

“Absolutely.”

#eren x reader #eren yeager #modern au #my stuff #college au #attack on titan #back home #eren jaeger #eren jaeger x reader

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benthelastskywalker · 3 years ago

Text

My Reylo Story

As some of you may or may not already know, I didn’t start off as a Reylo when TFA came out. Instead it was a journey and I wanted to share my story with you.

First, however, I think it’s important to explain where I was coming from both as a shipper and as a Star Wars fan pre-TFA. I first became aware of shipping in 2009/2010, or at least what it meant. I guess I could say I’d been a shipper long before that, I just wasn’t aware of it as a thing until then. But here’s the thing, I didn’t ship based solely on chemistry. To me shipping was more than just about whether or not a certain dynamic interested me. It was about wanting the characters to be happy in that relationship. So for me, how the characters treated each other was a pretty big deal.

So because of that, I had a hard time when I saw people shipping pairings that I viewed as “toxic.” If one character is being mistreated or flat out abused by another, how could they be happy? While I can honestly say I never sent anyone hate for shipping those things, I did post plenty of “anti” posts about those ships (tagged correctly, though) and followed anti blogs.

Onto my history with SW. I grew up on Star Wars. I’m not exaggerating when I say that. My parents both saw A New Hope in theaters as teens when it came out and both became fans. After they met and got married, they showed the movies to my three sisters and me from an early age. I don’t even remember the first time I watched the original trilogy because I was so young. There was never pre-SW time in my life. It’s something that has always been a part of my life. The legacy characters are life long friends.

The prequels came out when I was between nine and fifteen. And overall, I was not impressed. I liked the first movie well enough, but the dialogue in the other two made them almost impossible to watch and the love story between Anakin and Padme did nothing for me. It wasn’t until I was older and getting into shipping culture that I realize why. It was just not a healthy relationship and one I couldn’t support. While I acknowledged the prequels as canon, I basically grew to ignore them and focus on the original trilogy.

When I was in college, I had to take a speech class. One lesson was on story telling where the teacher stressed the golden rule of story telling: “Show, don’t tell.” The example she used was of a selfish child. “Don’t just say ‘he’s selfish’,” she said. “Show him acting selfishly.”

Sometime after that, I was rewatching the original trilogy. I got to the part when Luke goes to confront Vader on Endor and Luke tells him, “I fell the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.” I had a light bulb moment of, “Wait, what? What conflict? We never saw any conflict!” Luke mentioning the conflict within Vader was the first clue that were was one. I realized then that Vader’s redemption had no real build up across the three movies. It all takes place in the third act of the final film. It wasn’t a journey. It was a spur of the moment turn. And it bothered me. “Show. Don’t tell.” That’s the rule. And Lucas told us.

So then TFA came out and we got Kylo Ren. And they actually showed us his inner conflict and I loved it! I loved the character. He was instantly my favorite. I kept thinking “This is what they should have done with Vader!” Not even him killing Han, which I was totally devastated about, could make me dislike Kylo.

Yet, I wasn’t looking for the romance in the story. Because of this and because of what I’ve already said about my shipping history, it did not cross my mind at all that Reylo would be a thing. Not even an inkling. So if you had asked me right after I watched TFA for the first time who I thought Rey would fall in love with, I would have said Finn. Not because I shipped it, but because I just didn’t see another candidate.

It was only when I got home from the theater and got onto tumblr and started seeing posts about Reylo that I realized it was even a thing. I was shocked! As much as loved Kylo Ren, I didn’t get how anyone could ship him with Rey. He had kidnapped her and mind probed her after all.

But the thing is, I wasn’t angry so much as I was just confused. So I did something that I will never regret. I reached out to Reylos and I asked them what they saw in the ship. And their answers surprised me. They pointed out how Rey had fought back in the mind probe scene, showing that Rey wasn’t just a helpless victim. They pointed out the differences between how he treated Rey in that scene and how he had treated Poe when he was been mind probing him earlier. They also said it had the potential to the reverse Anidala (which intrigued me). They also pointed out (and I think this was the biggest misconception regarding Reylo and Reylos at the time) was that they didn’t actually want Kylo and Rey to get together right then, that they both had growing and maturing to do and they acknowledged that it wouldn’t be healthy for them to be together as they were at the end of TFA. And they explained all this nicely, without any hint of judgment or rudeness for someone who didn’t get their ship.

After that I went to see TFA a second time. This time I tried to see what they saw. I started to get it, but I still couldn’t bring myself to ship it. Shortly after that, I saw a post where someone said something about Ben being manipulated by Snoke since infancy. I reached out to that person and was like, “Where are you getting that from?”

“Oh, that was in the TFA novelization.”

So, I got a hold of the novelization and read it. Sure enough I learned that Ben had indeed been manipulated since infancy and that really changed pretty much everything about how I viewed him. I had loved the character before, but now I really began to sympathize with him.

But the novelization did more than that. It made me realize that Reylo might just be something that wasn’t just in the shippers’ head, because the subtext...oh my word, the Reylo subtext was all there. And the novel made it quite clear that Finn and Rey were just friends, nothing more. So that was the last time I ever thought FinnRey might happen.

While I didn’t consider myself a Reylo at that point, I continued to keep up with all of the Reylo theories that were floating around. It helped that one of my mutuals was going through the exact same thing too and were we able to talk about it together.

Then TLJ came out. Oh, boy. I find myself smiling whenever Kylo and Rey talked and going, “This! This is what the shippers predicated!” I came out of that movie, so happy. I was disappointed that he had returned to the light right then, but I never doubted he would eventually get his redemption.

It was only in the months leading up to the release of TROS that I finally admitted to myself that I was a Reylo and it’s something that I’ve never regretted, nor while I ever. Despite the disappointment that TROS turned out to be, I still love the ship, I love the characters, and I love my fellow shippers.

Becoming a Reylo has certainly changed my view on shipping too and while there are still those ships that make me cringe, I’ve learned just to ignore them.

If there is one thing I’ve learned from this experience, is not to turn away from people with differing opinions, but to actually talk and listen. This goes beyond shipping. This applies to every aspect of life.

And now I’m curious to hear your Reylo story.

#star wars #reylo

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delicatefury · 5 years ago

Note

TDPL ask. Are they going to get in some good time with Cody/other clones/the Council as individuals? (I saw the Leia snippet and I empathize with her frustration, but it's still cute.) And, uh. You don't have to give spoilers, of course, but I am very interested about how the kids and Anakin will react to each other, and if they'll tell Anakin the truth.

So, I don’t know how to do read mores on mobile (and without a laptop it’s all mobile), so I’ll just type ***Spoilers*** when we get to the good stuff.

So first off, of course they’re going to get quality one-on-one with a lot of people. Mace and Yoda are the first Jedi Obi-Wan tells about Luke and Leia’s, uh, heritage so that also makes them pretty first in line for padawan-sitting. (Yoda gets slightly more details than Mace. How much more is still undecided). I can also see them spending time with Depa and Plo-Koon and even Kit Fisto, but other than that, I don’t know enough details about the other members to hazard a guess.

As for the clones, hell yeah they are! Though Cody will probably end up spending more time personally with Han, Luke and Leia are downright claimed by the clones before they reach the Jedi temple. Unfortunately, the 212th doesn’t get nearly as much love as the 501st, so I don’t have as many to play around with and Luke and Leia have already met the three most developed ones. It might take some time to naturally build up OC clones for them to get to know.

And thank you about the snippet. I kinda get the impression that (thanks to the Force, her heritage, and her own stubborn determination) Leia’s pretty used to being the top of the class of things. It would definitely be frustrating for her be surrounded by people with the same natural abilities (not because they’re better, but because the difficulty scale better matches what she’d actually find challenging). She’s used to showing up her own tutors, not having them correct her before she can even see something’s wrong. I kinda borrowed from some of my own frustration of having to relearn how to study in college and law school. It’s hard to develop the work ethic to grind away when you never had to before.

And I’ve written about this before, but I can’t remember where but... Anakin and the kids... have a very awkward relationship. Especially at the start. Anakin’s major flaw is his possessiveness. And now there’s not one, but two little Jedi prodigies taking his master’s attention and affection and having a completely different and more open relationship and it’s not fair. Except, as any big sibling can tell you, a parent’s relationship with your younger siblings is different for a lot of reasons, and actually having child-rearing experience is one of them.

As for the twins, well... Luke’s exuberantly excited to meet Anakin Skywalker, hero of the Republic, Jedi Knight Extraordinaire. This is his dad before the dark side. The man he’s only really gotten glimpses of, and mainly through Ben’s journals. And they have a lot in common! Although, knowing what Anakin’s capable of as Vadar puts a damper on things, Luke’s just that more determined to try and change things. He pesters Anakin on philosophy and what Luke knows of the Jedi verses what Anakin assumes of the Jedi.

Leia glowers. A lot. She knows what Anakin’s capable of, so he’s considered suspicious until proven able to change. She doesn’t trust him, she doesn’t like him, and their personalities can be too similar in ways that pretty much guarantee they’ll clash. But she’ll try to get to know him. For Luke. And Master Obi-Wan.

Now, for the fun.

****SPOILERS AHEAD!!*****

Anakin will eventually be told, but it’s not for a long time. A very long time. A very heightened, plot heavy time.

Obi-Wan would prefer he’d never be told, to be honest. It’s Luke and Leia’s decision and until they’re 100% on board, he won’t betray their trust. Once they’re comfortable, he’ll find a way to break the news to Anakin gently.

Sidious on the other hand knows how important family is to Anakin. And knows how much he hates it when the Jedi keep secrets from him. It’s just a question of when dropping the secret will cause the most damage.

As to which one tells him and in what manner? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

If you really wanna know, drop another ask and I’ll flag it with #TDPL Spoilers for anyone who doesn’t want to know.

#fury writes #star wars #The Clone Wars #tdpl #ask me things!#I’ll try to answer #Princess Leia #Luke Skywalker #Obi-Wan Kenobi #Anakin Skywalker

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tennessoui · 3 years ago

Note

Please give me the TA scene where Vos takes Obi-Wan to a bar to get drunk and forget about Anakin and pick up some hotties but oh no Anakin is there and Obi-Wan is a little tipsy and doesn’t want to be rude so he goes to say hi. Then for the rest of the night when he tries to go Anakin pulls him back into conversation because he doesn’t want Obi-Wan going home with someone else

yes!!!!!! TIS THE SEASON (halloween)

(2.3k)(the first TA obi-wan snippet!!)

The thing about Quinlan that Obi-Wan hates the most is that his friend is the only person in the entire world that can out-stubborn him. That’s usually not a problem. But sometimes it is. Sometimes it results in Quinlan forcing Obi-Wan into doing something he’d rather not do.

All those people that say peer pressure isn’t really real have never met Quinlan Vos.

Obi-Wan sort of wishes he’d never met Quinlan Vos when the man shows up at his door on Friday evening carrying three different bundles of clothing.

“Because I’m nice, you get to choose what you want to be for Halloween,” Quinlan announces, laying out the options on Obi-Wan’s coffee table.

“Drunk and alone in my apartment,” Obi-Wan says. “That’s an option, right?”

“Just for that, I’m taking Indiana Jones off the table,” Quinlan replies, not sounding sorry about it at all. “I’ll be that one. I think I could make the whip look hot as hell.”

Obi-Wan crosses his arms and peers at the costumes. “Sexy nurse or sexy….Red Riding Hood? I’m not wearing that. I doubt it would even fit me.”

“Bullshit, you have a very dainty waist, Obi. But hurry up and choose because we’re going to be late.”

“We’re going tonight?” Obi-Wan splutters. “It’s not even Halloween!”

“It’s the Halloweekend, Obi-Wan. It’s like you’ve forgotten all of our sophomore year.”

Obi-Wan’s tried to block most of it out, that’s true. The parts he remembers, at least. “I think we’re a bit too old for Halloweekend, Quin,” he protests, staring down at the costumes. “And I--”

“Have been obsessing over this so-called hottest professor in existence, yes, I know.” Quinlan holds up his hand when Obi-Wan starts to disagree. “No, you know I’m right. I don’t want to hear your excuses. I’ve never heard you casually talk about someone so much and I’ve been there for all of your co-ed crushes. So what we’re going to do tonight is go and get your hot professor fucked out of your head, and the best way to do that is either sexy nurse or sexy Red Riding Hood. So.”

“I do not want this,” Obi-Wan reiterates slowly. “I very much am not aboard this plan.”

“Don’t make me invoke the BFFFOC, Obi,” Quinlan threatens.

The BFFFOC, or Best Friend Forever Failsafe Override Code, was thought up between them one night their first year of college. If ever one of them was going down a path that the other deemed unwise, they had the right to invoke the override and talk some sense into them.

“I don’t think me not wanting to dress in a slutty and offensive nurse outfit counts,” Obi-Wan protests loudly.

“It’s not about the costume, Obi, and you know it. It’s about this professor. You know you need to get over him. So get under someone else. I’d offer, but that would be in complete violating of--”

“BFFNBTBT,” Obi-Wan finishes with him, rolling his eyes. “Yes, I recall.”

That one, Best Friends Forever No Below The Belt Touching had been resurrected after a very unfortunate one night stand. The grounds for that code are some of the ones Obi-Wan is still trying to forget.

“Fine,” he snaps and hates himself for it. One day he’ll learn how to say no to Quinlan. “But I’m going with Red Riding Hood.”

“I thought you would!” his friend cheers. “The cape’s long enough to cover more of your upper thighs and you’re a bit of a prude.”

Obi-Wan snatches up the packaged costume from the table. “Fuck off,” he says, quite pleasantly in his opinion. “And I’m not paying you back for this.”

“You should shave,” Quinlan tells him as he turns towards his bedroom. “Really commit to the role!”

Perhaps tonight Obi-Wan will strangle Quinlan with his own length of Indiana Jones whip. The thought puts a smile on his face.

In the end, Obi-Wan does end up shaving. It’s not something he does often, but he’d looked at the costume. The dress doesn’t even come down to his fingertips. The hooded red cape somehow just a little bit longer.

And he thinks making Quinlan wait for thirty minutes while Obi-Wan gets ready is the very least of what he deserves.

Dragging out the process, however, doesn’t magically give Quinlan enough time to realize how stupid this is, because when Obi-Wan peers around the edge of his door, Quin’s on the couch in full Indiana Jones costume regalia, flicking through his phone.

“I look like a pervert’s idea about what Swedish barmaids looked like in the 18th century,” Obi-Wan complains, trying to flatten the hem of the flared out dress as he regretfully leaves the safety of his bedroom.

“That’s what the hood’s for,” Quinlan says sagely, looking up from his phone to take in Obi-Wan. “What, no makeup?”

“I need you to know that my biggest regret in my entire life will always be that I sat next to you on our first day of chem,” Obi-Wan tells him placidly, adjusting the cape around his bare shoulders. He hates to admit it, but the feeling of the inner fabric of the hood feels good against his skin. Soft.

“Oh, don’t say that, Obi, I’m sorry. You’re pretty without makeup.”

“I’m about to throw a punch,” he warns.

Quinlan grins and slings an arm around him. “Well then, looks like it’s time to go.”

----

They slide into two seats at the very crowded bar only thirty or so minutes later. Everyone around them is wearing some sort of costume, some so wild or revealing that Obi-Wan doesn’t even necessarily feel bad about the amount of skin he’s showing off.

Someone walks by in a golden speedo and Obi-Wan takes a gulp of his drink. At least this place does some heavy pours.

Quinlan leans into his ear. “See anyone?” he yells of the din of loud music and voices.

“I see a lot of people,” Obi-Wan reports back immediately.

“One more tongue-in-cheek response out of you, and I’ll make you do tequila shots, young man!”

Obi-Wan narrows his eyes, but then a girl in a french maid costume smiles at him flirtily from across the bar. His first thought is that he likes Professor Skywalker’s smile a lot better. Then he wonders about what Professor Skywalker’s doing tonight, if he likes Halloween. If he’s dressed up. If he’s alone.

“I would like two tequila shots,” he tells the bartender when she passes them.

“Obi-Wan, you shouldn’t have!” Quinlan tosses his arm around his shoulder and pulls him in for an awkward, but enthusiastic hug when the shots arrive.

“They’re both for me,” he responds. “You can choke.”

“You wound me so precisely,” Quinlan shakes his head, and flags down a bartender to order his own. Obi-Wan decides to ignore him, licking at the back of his hand quickly before sprinkling the salt onto the damp skin.

The first shot goes down easily, but he doesn’t even wait ten seconds before he’s brought his hand back to his mouth for another lick.

Halfway through, he looks up at the feeling of eyes staring at him. He follows his own instincts until his eyes latch onto bright, familiar blue ones across the way.

If he’d taken the shot, he would have choked in this moment when confronted with Anakin Skywalker, out of the lecture hall and looking so intensely at Obi-Wan that he feels strangely vulnerable. Examined.

He breaks eye contact with his professor when Quinlan’s arm tightens on his shoulder and he knocks their shot glasses together.

It’s second nature at this point to do shots with Quin, and he drinks his down automatically as his eyes can’t help but to dart back to Anakin--Professor Skywalker--at his table.

He’s sitting alone. Not even that dressed up. Obi-Wan has no feelings about this.

Quinlan, who is frighteningly observant at the worst times, clues into Professor Skywalker’s presence before he thinks he should, after only ten or so minutes have passed. “That guy is staring at you,” he whispers very loudly to Obi-Wan, taking a pointed sip of his newest drink. “Or maybe me, but he sorta looks angry whenever I touch you.”

As if to prove this, Quinlan moves in to place a sloppy kiss on Obi-Wan’s cheek. Obi-Wan can’t shove him off quickly enough.

“Yep, definitely looking at you.” Quinlan concludes. “Looks blond, older than us, but like. Not ancient. What are you thinking? Wanna go over? I think you should, he looks like he’d give you a good time.”

Obi-Wan stares down at his drink. Quinlan doesn’t know what Professor Skywalker looks like. He doesn’t know that he’s actually cajoling Obi-Wan into the arms of the one person he’s set against him seeing. If Obi-Wan were a better friend, he’d tell him. But Obi-Wan isn’t. Obi-Wan’s feeling a little tipsy from the drinks, and his legs are all smooth, and he wants to talk to Professor Skywalker. He wants to see if maybe the man could want him if he’s wearing this. If he looks like this.

“I’m gonna go over and talk to him,” he decides in a rush, already lifting himself out of his seat. Quinlan crows in delight and reaches out to steady him when he stumbles a bit.

Water next, Obi-Wan thinks. He’s going to have water next.

It’s a short trip across the room to where Professor Skywalker is sitting. It just feels longer because of nerves. God, what is he doing? Why is he doing this?

But suddenly he’s at Anakin’s table. Suddenly he’s standing right in front of him, drink clutched in both hands, very aware of how much skin his outfit is showing off.

Anakin’s eyes dart down and the back up again before lingering at the exposed skin of his thighs. If it were anyone else, Obi-Wan would think he’s being checked out, but it’s his professor. And no matter how much Obi-Wan may want Anakin’s eyes to stick on him like a brand, he knows the older man would never want that same thing.

“Professor Skywalker, hello,” he finally says, fiddling with the straw in his drink. A few seconds later, he takes a sip, conscious of the way the man follows this motion. If it were anyone else--

But it’s not.

“Obi-Wan, I’ve told you to call me Anakin,” the professor scolds. “Especially outside of the classroom.”

“Sorry,” he says immediately. “Um. Anakin.”

Anakin’s arm drapes itself over the back of his booth as he sits more comfortably in his chair. “Please, sit.”

“I don’t want to intrude or anything, I just saw you and thought I would say--”

“Obi-Wan, sit,” this is a much clearer instruction. Obi-Wan drops into the other chair. Anakin looks him over again. “I have to admit, I didn’t have you pegged for being into this holiday,” he says roughly. “Or so committed to it.”

Obi-Wan thinks he’s probably blushing as red as his hood. “No, I um. You’re right. My friend, I--he wanted me to come out with him, and he only got me two costumes--I wouldn’t, but he--”

“Indiana Jones?” Anakin cuts in to ask sharply. “Sounds like a bit of a controlling boyfriend if he made you do something you’re not comfortable with.”

There’s an air of protectiveness in Anakin’s voice that makes Obi-Wan feel warm on the inside. Even though the professor couldn’t have been more wrong.

“No, no,” he corrects him anyway, even though a part of him is yelling that Anakin really doesn’t care that much about the details of his personal life. “We’re just friends. And I….”

He trails off, and Anakin arches one of his thick eyebrows in expectancy.

It may be that expression, the knowledge that Obi-Wan could give Anakin the answer he’s looking for, or the drinks in his system, but he finds himself continuing, admitting quite quietly, “I like it.”

Anakin straightens in his seat and takes a long pull of his own drink. “You like it,” he repeats. “Am I to assume you’re just a fan of the fairytale?”

Obi-Wan bites at his lip. He knows he shouldn’t say anything more, but....but they’re so far from the lecture hall here. It’s hard to remember why they shouldn’t talk about this. It’s hard not to let his mind wander to what he would say if the person he was talking to was not his professor, but a man he was interested in spending the night with, someone he was trying to seduce.

He shakes his head shyly.

“I like the hood,” he admits, because once he’s thought of it it’s incredibly difficult not to say it. He hardly even tries, if he’s being honest. “The cape is just long enough I can feel it on my thighs. And I like the skirt and--” he hesitates here, but it’s not called liquid courage for nothing. “The lingerie it came with.”

Anakin freezes with his drink halfway to his mouth. Slowly, he sets it back onto the table again and studies Obi-Wan with darkened eyes. His expression is unreadable and it makes Obi-Wan squirm in his seat.

“Fuck,” Anakin breathes out, the word almost lost to the roar of noise in the bar.

Obi-Wan fidgets in his seat. “Actually, sir,” he says suddenly. “I’m sorry, I should go, I only meant to say hello--”

“You should stay,” the professor interrupts, leaning forward and placing his hand on Obi-Wan’s forearm. The touch is electrifying. “For a drink.”

“Just a drink,” Obi-Wan agrees probably too quickly, a part of him responding to Anakin’s pleading expression perhaps more than it should. “My, what big eyes you have,” he jokes in regards to his professor’s begging look.

“The better to see you with,” Anakin replies immediately. For a second, his hand on Obi-Wan’s arm doesn’t move. Then his thumb strokes over the smooth skin there before he pulls back. “My dear.”

#asks #sorta cuts out right before the good stuff rip #but still!!!#fun to write and easy to write this time!!!#i did almost have obi-wan be a bunny but at the last second i was like lets keep it classic #and just a lil dirty #in this scene anakin is constantly thinking about how many days are left until the semester ends #he's like '2 months it's 2 months you can do this skywalker it's just 2 months'#'oh fuck did he just say he's wearing lingerie???? FUCK TWO MONTHS IT'S ONLY TWO MONTHS'#ta au #obikin #anakin skywalker #obi-wan kenobi

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optimisticsprinkles · 6 years ago

Text

[CLEAN VERSION] Soul Searching, Ch.30

Sexual situations redacted.

If you’ve read the story until now, you’ll note that sexuality in the past has been referenced but not explicit. That’s the level I’m going for in the clean version, as well.

I’m including a brief non-explicit description when context is necessary.

Original version on AO3 here.

Chapter 30: Graduation

The day of Rey’s graduation dawned bright and sunny without a single cloud in the sky.

“Do you think Luke will make it?” Rey asked anxiously as Leia helped her with her earrings — they’d gotten her ears pierced as part of her eighteenth birthday, but Rey still tended to fumble the tiny backs.

“I just checked his flight, and it’s still on time. He’ll be here.”

“Okay.”

“You just concentrate on not tripping.”

Rey made a face, and Leia laughed and hugged her.

“You’ll be fine. Now go on, you don’t want to be late.”

Rey was meeting her friends for a pre-graduation breakfast. They’d been planning it for weeks, since they all had family in town and would be too busy to get together after the ceremony.

Never mind that they had all summer to hang out. This morning was special.

Leia followed her into the living room. “You have your cap and gown? Purse? Keys?”

Rey nodded and grabbed her purse and keys from the table by the door. “Cap and gown are already in the car.”

Han poked his head out of the kitchen. “Don’t trip!”

Rey grinned at him. “Leia already beat you to that one.”

Han glowered and grumbled.

Leia kissed just beside Rey’s cheek, a courtesy Rey noticed whenever Leia wore lipstick. “We’ll see you after the ceremony.”

Rey nodded, butterflies in her stomach. “Okay. See you there.”

“I love your dress,” Lusica said as soon as Rey dropped into the booth beside her.

Rey grinned and adjusted the handkerchief hem of her skirt so it wasn’t bunched beneath her. It was navy blue and had an unobtrusive floral motif. “Thank you. I love yours, too.” Where Rey’s dress was light and summery, Lusica’s black party dress showed off cleavage that was definitely the work of a push-up bra. Rey hadn’t bothered with a bra, since she had almost nothing to push up. Even with the low V of her neckline, nothing showed so long as she didn’t bend over in front of anyone.

Rose arrived in a cream blouse and khaki pencil skirt, looking far more polished than Rey was used to seeing her. She had a very defined waist, and she and Rey had worked together to try and figure out enough about fashion not to embarrass themselves in college. Lusica and Kaydel had helped, and Leia had assisted with more than one disastrous attempt. This outfit was very clearly Paige's influence, just as Finn's was something his mom had picked out -- he tagged along behind Rose in a white button-down, tie, and dark pants.

Kaydel and Thomas arrived hand-in-hand, heads bent close. Thomas' graduation had been two days prior, and Rey had accompanied Kaydel and some of their other friends to sit with his dad and little sister and cheer when Thomas walked across the stage. Today, he would be sitting with Kaydel’s family.

The two of them were practically engaged. Rey didn’t know what their plans were — they’d applied to the same colleges and settled on one over the others because Kaydel had gotten an amazing scholarship, but they hadn’t talked to anyone about their plans beyond that. Rey didn’t know if they planned to get married or live together or wait for any of that or what.

And, well, it was their business and not her place to pry. She’d hated it when people had pried about her and… and Ben.

She blinked away a bit of sudden mistiness and grabbed a menu for something else to focus on, taking a deep breath and letting it slowly out.

Best that she not think about him, even though she felt his inevitable return in the air like an approaching storm. Would it be days? Weeks? A month? He hadn’t been specific, and that frustrated her. She needed an exact time, needed to know when the suspense would end.

Kaydel and Thomas slid into the booth, their hands separating as Kaydel slid in beside Rey and Thomas slid in beside Finn. If Rey had thought, she would have sat across from Lusica so the couple could sit together, but it was too late now, and they didn’t seem to mind. They were still connected, even if their hands weren’t.

It had been a while since Rey had felt jealous of the two of them, and seeing them now, the way they looked at each other, she ducked her eyes back to her menu to avoid intruding on something that felt private.

They had a sweet kind of wholesomeness around them that made Rey’s heart hurt, but it wasn’t because she begrudged them their happiness. She’d just never had that with Ben. Her relationship with him had always been fraught with secrets and lies and hidden longing. Nothing like the open adoration between her two friends.

They were practically the poster couple for soulmates.

And she and Ben were… the dark underbelly, maybe?

Finn kicked her lightly under the table, and Rey snapped her gaze up to his. He raised a brow, which meant he knew exactly what she’d been dwelling on. He'd told her once that she had a look she got when she was brooding about Ben, a look she never got about anything else.

“How’s the MIT wooing going?” he asked, one of his arms slung casually around Rose.

Rey sighed and rested her chin on the edge of her menu. “Still waitlisted. I’m starting to worry I’ll have to make good on that Caltech offer I accepted. We sent my final grades to MIT yesterday, and we have a phone interview scheduled, but I think that was more because of Leia than me. She’s really good at convincing people to do things.”

“Caltech is really good, though,” said Rose enthusiastically. “You could do a lot worse.”

Rey nodded. “It wouldn’t be the end of the world.”

“You’ll get an amazing tan,” Lusica said, nudging Rey with her elbow. She was going to the same state school as Poe. Her grades weren’t good enough for Ivy League, but state had a decent MBA program, and Leia had, after seeing Lusica’s fundraising skills for herself this past year, pulled her aside to talk about pursuing a business degree in marketing and administration. It had apparently made an impression.

Rey smiled. “The weather in California is supposed to be gorgeous.”

“There you go,” said Finn. “You hate snow.” He was going to state, too. He’d gotten an excellent scholarship, almost a full ride, and his mom had been so proud, she'd cried.

Rose, on the other hand, was headed to Paige’s university. Rey didn’t know if she and Finn had talked yet about what that meant for them. They had the whole summer together, so she supposed they could be putting it off until their time ran out.

“Okay,” Rey said, opening her menu. “I need enough whipped cream and waffles to put me in a coma.”

The volume at the table rose as everyone talked over each other, trying to decide what to order, and Rey let herself be swept away by collective the excitement.

They were about to graduate.

Ben dropped his bag and slumped into his mother’s embrace when he arrived, weary in more than just body. “How is she?” he asked.

She held him tighter. “You have some work to do.”

He let out a breath and pulled away. “I’m not afraid of work.”

“Hard work,” she clarified.

That tugged a slight smile out of him. After receiving Rey’s multiple angry letters, he knew exactly how much of an uphill battle it would be. “Nothing worth having is easy.”

His mother reached up and cupped his cheek, her brown eyes tender. “Just don’t blow her off again. Women hate that.”

Ben nodded, too tired to make a verbal response. He’d talked about that already, in detail, with his uncle.

Luke came up from behind and made to clap Ben on the shoulder before aborting the motion and adjusting his bag instead. They'd returned on the same flight, side-by-side, on purpose.

Luke had sent Ben a few written overtures of reconciliation, and Ben had had the space and time to consider his reply. Eventually, in one of his lowest and loneliest moments, he did reply. They’d corresponded until Luke had asked if he could see Ben on his annual trip to Europe, and Ben had cautiously agreed.

The visit had been intensely awkward, but they’d talked, and Ben had found himself using the skills he’d been discussing during his phone sessions with Dr. Statura. Active listening, “I feel” statements instead of accusations, all that conflict-management shit.

It hadn’t fixed everything, and he and Luke were not in a good place, but they were talking and that was better than they’d been in over a decade. They’d even gone to see Ben’s grandfather together, and he’d met the infamous Anakin Skywalker.

Ben hadn’t known what to expect from a war criminal who’d loved his soulmate so much he’d lost his mind at her death, but the reality was an old man with hard eyes and an eerily mechanical voice from one of those little devices that helped long-time smokers talk.

Anakin had greeted Luke and examined Ben with strange intensity as Luke introduced him. After a moment of silence, he’d said, “He looks like my mother.”

It had been the only comment Anakin had made to or about Ben for the entire the visit, despite Luke’s attempts to include him in the conversation. Ben had sat and listened to the father and son catch up, and he’d wondered if this was what he might become if he ever lost Rey.

A broken, bitter old monster.

When they’d left, Ben had asked Luke why he hadn’t mentioned Ben’s soulmate.

Luke had considered the question carefully as they’d walked from the holding facility in South Holland. “It didn’t seem like my place,” he’d finally replied.

Things between them had eased further after that, so that when Luke suggested they fly back home together, Ben packed his things and switched his ticket for a few days earlier than planned. Luke needed to get home on time for Rey’s graduation ceremony, which was how Ben found himself in the back seat of his mother’s car smelling like airplane and worrying about the wrinkles in his suit so that he wouldn’t worry about the much more daunting prospect of watching Rey walk with a bunch of kids Ben could have gladly never seen again in a room full of his old colleagues.

And it wasn’t like he could disappear into the crowd, being half a foot taller than almost everyone in town.

Maybe he could hide behind Chewie.

Luke looked back at him and gave him a sympathetic smile. “Hey. Just remember what we talked about on the plane. It could be worse.”

Ben snorted, and Luke’s eyes danced.

Ben had been increasingly nervous in Amsterdam, jiggling his leg as they’d waited for takeoff. In a moment of self-doubt, he’d reached out to his uncle for reassurance. “Do you think she’ll forgive me?”

Luke had considered the question gravely. “I think she will. I wouldn’t be sure if you weren’t soulmates, but that’s what makes soulmates special. They stand by each other through thick and thin.”

Ben had grimaced. “Except when they leave the country, I suppose.”

Luke had waved him off. “You leaving the country was… unorthodox. But it was still you trying to do what’s best for her. The instinct is there, kid.” Luke had nudged him with his elbow. “That instinct is going to motivate you to try and fix the things you did botch. And I guarantee you she has the same instincts. She wants you to make things right just as much as you want to make them right.”

Ben had tried not to let that go too much to his head, but the crumb of hope had his expectations mushrooming out of control. “How do I do that? How do I fix… anything?”

Luke had shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not a crystal ball or an advice column. I’m not going to give you a list of steps. Just be ready to put the work in. Listen to her, and pay attention. Let her yell at you. And for God’s sake,” Luke had added, leaning in and lowering his voice, “don’t interrupt. Women hate that.”

“Says the lifelong bachelor,” Ben had replied with an eyeroll.

Luke had given him a look. “Says the guy who fucked up with his soulmate even worse than you have. I didn’t just fail her, I failed her son. And I swear to you, Ben, Leia loves you more than Han and me put together. She’d do anything for you. And she still eventually forgave me.” Luke had spread his hands, and Ben had looked away to hide his expression. He hadn't realized just how much he’d needed to hear that his mother loved him. “The soulmate bond won’t let you hate each other. Not forever.” Then Luke had tugged at his lap belt to make sure he was buckled in tight enough, an indication of the same kind of anxiety Han showed whenever he had to board a plane someone else was flying. “But that doesn’t mean you can sit on your laurels. You have to do your own heavy lifting. But you’re up for it. I can tell.”

Ben had considered for a long while, looking out his window at the baggage crew finishing up their task. “Are other soulmates as fucked up as the ones in our family?”

Luke had sighed and shrugged. “Who’s to say? People hide a lot of their drama from the outside world. But I do think our family has more than its share.”

It seemed unfair, and his voice had come out too sulky for even his taste. “Why?”

Luke had laughed. “Well. We don’t really make small mistakes in this family. We swing for the fences, and it doesn’t always turn out well. As for why we do that…” Luke had scratched his beard. “Both the Skywalkers and the Solos are proud and stubborn. We don’t like to lose, but we’re always taking risks. Your dad’s businesses, your mom’s work in the Senate, my camp. Go big or go home. That should be the family motto.” He’d shrugged. “You come by it honestly, Ben. You might have, ah, ‘fucked up,' but you’re not the first in this family to do so and you won’t be the last.” Luke had given him a self-deprecating smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You’re not even the worst.”

“You’re right,” Ben had said and had seen a flash of pain cross his uncle’s face. “That medal goes to Grandpa.”

Luke had burst out laughing, hearty guffaws that drew stares. “Hoo!” he’d said when the laughter subsided, rubbing tears away with his non-robotic hand. “That is true. Neither of us has committed genocide.”

“Something to be proud of,” Ben had agreed, straight-faced.

Luke had chuckled some more. “Yes indeed.” A few more chuckles. “Goodness, the bar in this family is low.”

“Mm. Makes it easier for the rest of us to hurdle it.”

Ben’s mother met his eye in the rearview mirror and cocked a bemused eyebrow. “I’m glad to see you two getting along.”

He shrugged. “Better than we were,” he assured her.

Ben had not looked forward to seeing his dad again. He’d realized, during his self-imposed exile, how good it felt not to be constantly irritated by Han, and the prospect of returning to that dynamic made his stomach twist into knots.

“Boundaries,” Dr. Statura had said. “And open communication.”

Which had sounded a lot easier when his dad was an ocean away.

Ben let Han grab him in a hug and slap his back, and only sighed in annoyance when he said, “Done traipsing around Europe?”

Ben had to bite back a retort about how there had been no “traipsing.” A parking lot was not the place for <i>that</i> discussion.

Lando smoothly offered Ben his hand, and Ben took it and nodded politely before being lifted off his feet by a bear hug from behind.

Ben grunted, and Chewie said, “Dobro pozhalovat' domoy.”

“Rad tebya videt',” Ben replied as his uncle set him back on his feet.

Chewie beamed down at him. “Tvoy aktsent uluchshilsya!”

His accent had gotten a little better, it was true. “I went through Moscow,” Ben demurred. “Gave me a chance to practice.”

Chewie spread his arms and mock-furrowed his brow, gesturing at himself. “A ty ne mozhesh' delat' eto zdes'?”

Ben tilted his head, pretending to consider as he fought to keep his lips from twitching. “With real Russians.”

Chewie’s dramatic gasp was everything Ben could have wished, as was the way his uncle clutched at his chest and looked around at the others as if to make sure they’d all witnessed Ben’s flagrant impertinence.

Luke covered his mouth but his shoulders shook with suppressed laughter, and Lando smirked, ever urbane.

Han clapped his best friend on the back. “Kid got you, Chewie.”

Chewie muttered and lifted a fist with his thumb between his middle and index fingers. Ben snorted at the rude gesture.

It was nice to be home.

“Is it straight?” Rey asked Finn before he headed to his spot in line.

He nudged her cap a little to the left. “Now it is. Mine?”

Rey beamed up at him. “Yours is perfect.”

He began to back up. “I will see you after, yeah?”

“Definitely.”

“Don’t trip!”

Rey rolled her eyes and called, “Why does everyone keep saying that?!”

He grinned and shrugged, and then they were too far apart to say anything more.

Ben’s heart tried to thump its way out of his chest when his mother nudged him and pointed Rey out. From this distance, she was just the second face among the sea of teenagers entering to “Pomp and Circumstance,” but he was about ready to jump out of his skin. It was like his whole body was vibrating with the need to go over there and touch her and make sure she was real.

He gripped the edge of the bleacher to hold himself still, and his mother took his arm as if she knew.

He tried not to let any of it show. He’d seen at least one face in the crowd turn his way with a frown before the ceremony started, and he didn’t want to give anyone the satisfaction of watching him come apart at the seams.

But he couldn’t help staring. She and the person in front of her climbed the stage and sat by the principal and vice principal, so at least Ben was staring in the same direction as everyone else. He felt as if his whole soul was trying to crawl out through his eyes and slink across the floor to her.

And then the music faded.

And she stood up.

And approached the podium.

And spoke.

Ben gripped the bleacher so hard it creaked, and his mother dug her fingers painfully into his arm, bringing him back to himself.

He’d forgotten her voice.

It was… indescribable.

The things it did, the things it made him want. Only his mother’s presence at his side kept him from losing himself completely to that voice.

He shouldn’t have come here. These fuckers were going to dangle Rey in front of him and then make him sit through an entire fucking graduation ceremony.

He was in hell.

And then he focused on her words, and his heart clenched. He sat forward, leaning his elbows on his knees, and covered his mouth with his hands.

She was thanking people. Her friends, of course, but also his parents — for taking her in, for being there, for caring about her. Her voice wavered with emotion, and she was looking at her notes. She hadn’t looked their way once, clearly didn’t know where they were sitting, and he hoped she didn’t take the time to search them out. Instinctively, he knew it would fluster her to see him, and he didn’t want to spoil her speech.

She only spoke for maybe three minutes, made a joke that got a smattering of friendly laughter, then wrapped it up and wished everyone well.

When she finished and sat down and the principal stood to give his speech, Ben wanted to leave the room. The problem was that she would see him if he stood up. So he remained where he was and stared at her, his mother warm and steady at his side. He wasn’t a flight risk anymore, even on the end of the row as he was, but he knew she would grab him if he started to do anything stupid.

When the exuberant hats flew and Rey was released from her duties on stage, she shook hands cheerfully with the class valedictorian (he’d earned it, no matter how her junior year had ended) and then the vice principal and principal because they were there and it seemed rude not to, and finally hurried giddily down the stairs with her diploma case clutched firmly in her hands.

The case itself was a flat padded folder-like thing with the school’s name embossed on the front. It was stiff inside and kept her diploma straight and neat. She probably wouldn't keep it, wanted to hang her diploma on her bedroom wall, but it was nice enough to get it home in.

Rey's feet touched the floor, but she was flying inside, buoyed by the mood of the room but also her own personal sense of accomplishment.

She’d done it.

She’d graduated.

People greeted her as she moved through the crowd, and some hugged her. She allowed it, even from kids she didn’t know that well. She’d been well known after the soulmate thing, and even more well known after Ben had disappeared in a cloud of rumor and scandal. She was too happy to find it in herself to care that she didn’t know the names of half of the people who approached her.

She saw Lusica, who grabbed her hands urgently and said, “Did you see?”

When Rey only frowned, Lusica turned and pointed.

Rey looked at the bleachers and found her people almost instantly, what with Chewie planted like a tree among them. Within the next blink, her gaze was drawn to a pair of piercing brown eyes fixed unwaveringly on her.

She could tell even at a distance that he wasn’t smiling. She saw him rub his palms against his knees. Drying them?

Rey’s feet took her away from Lusica and away from Finn, who’d just found them in the crowd, and she pushed and jostled her way to the bleachers, uncaring who she trampled. The world had narrowed to that pair of eyes, and she almost felt his breath catch as he watched her make her way over.

She didn’t slow down, actually picked up her pace the closer she got until she was almost running up the steps to his seat. He stood to meet her, and there were too many emotions swirling in his eyes; she let her momentum carry her up, up until he was there in front of her, and then she reached back and swung, decking him in the jaw.

His head snapped to the side, and Rey heard a shocked murmur run through the crowd around them. A woman said, “Oh my God,” but Rey ignored her, switched her diploma from one hand to the other, and followed her right hook with a vicious left, catching him full in the mouth because he’d bent to test his jaw.

Her hands ached in a way she knew she’d feel later, after the adrenaline faded, so instead of punching him again she took her diploma case and began whacking him with it everywhere she could reach. He lifted an arm to shield himself, and more people were staring, but Rey didn’t care. She was so. Fucking. Angry.

She hit his arms, his shoulders, his back. She caught the side of his head, and that was when he snapped. He grabbed her by the wrists, easily holding her, and glared down into her face. “That’s enough,” he growled, and it had been too long since she’d heard his voice. She’d forgotten it, forgotten its depth and power, and she felt the fight drain out of her and her eyes go wide and her breathing settle into something akin to a pant.

That voice reverberated in her bones. It settled into her heart and her head and her sex, and tears prickled in her eyes.

Rey ripped her wrists from his grasp but didn’t try to hit him again. The tears fell when she blinked, and she scowled through them, furious at herself now as well as him. She wanted him to fall into a volcano, and she poured every inch of that loathing into her glare.

Then she turned to Leia, lifted her chin, and said, “I’m heading home.”

Leia nodded, remaining composed even as the rest of the family stared and the surrounding crowd kept back as if Rey might turn on them next.

Rey heard Han say, “Told you she was pissed,” but she ignored it.

She started down the steps, and suddenly people on the ground below were applauding. Someone whistled, and it took Rey a moment to realize they were clapping for her.

Her entire graduating class had just watched her beat the shit out of her soulmate, and they were clapping.

Most of them had been at the junior prom where Ben went apeshit on her date and disappeared right after. She’d been the subject of gossip for the rest of that year and the target of pity for the next.

It was the pity that had gotten to her, the conciliatory kindness which settled like stinging barbs under her skin because they wouldn’t allow her to forget what had happened. That he’d left her. That she was alone.

Every bit of gentleness, every sympathetic look, had made her feel more and more like she was supposed to be decimated by his leaving. It rankled even more because part of her was decimated, and it made her want to punch something. But she hadn’t, not since that incident right after he left. Since then, she’d kept that violence contained to her exercise equipment at home.

Until she saw him.

And then all of that pent-up rage had come flowing back, stronger and more concentrated after its long incubation.

People tried to congratulate her as she passed; some even tried to pat her on the back, but she knocked their hands away. They had no place in this, they never had. It wasn’t their business, wasn't their job to approve or disapprove. She didn’t want them, didn’t need them.

She was halfway to her car when she registered a familiar voice calling her name.

“Rey! Hold up!”

For a moment, her ears didn’t connect to her brain, and she thought it was Ben. Her traitorous heart leapt into her throat, but it settled back to pound in her chest when she registered not Ben but Finn jogging up beside her.

“I don’t want to hear it,” she snapped. He’d never liked Ben, and that made her angry, too.

Finn frowned at her, having to hurry to keep pace even with his longer legs. “I don’t think I deserved that.”

She slowed down, chastened. “I’m sorry. I’m just…”

“I know,” he said. “I wanted to see if you were okay.”

She sighed, and they walked the rest of the way to her car together. It was a crappy-looking thing she’d bought with her summer job money, but it ran like a dream because she and Han had spent countless hours tweaking it. “I don’t know. I didn’t know he was going to be here. It kind of blindsided me.”

Finn smirked. “Pretty sure you blindsided him, too.”

Rey laughed, but hitting Ben hadn’t made her feel any better. Part of her even felt worse. “Why did he have to come back today?” It was supposed to be her day.

Now… now it would be all about him.

“Are you coming to the cookout?” she asked Finn.

“If we have time. We have to visit my grandad first, and then Rose wants us to join them for dinner.”

Rey turned and faced him. “In case I don’t get to say it later, congratulations.” They hugged, and Finn gave her a fierce squeeze.

“Back at you, Miss Salutatorian.”

Rey smiled, but it felt fake. “I’ll see you, then.”

“Yep.” Finn took a step back, preparing to fight his way upstream in the mass of people exiting the building to find his mother. “And, hey. It’s going to be okay.”

Rey watched her friend go, feeling as if he’d grabbed her heartstrings and given them a solid yank so that her heart dangled halfway out of her chest. She unlocked her car and got in before anyone could see her crying, eager to get on the road before the mass exodus made navigating out of the lot impossible.

She sped on the way home and unlocked the empty house with shaking fingers, shedding her cap and gown the moment she entered her bedroom. She had her own key, thought of it as home, but for a long time hadn't been able to fully relax, sure that any minute Han and Leia would change their minds about her. Twice, she'd even been afraid of being kicked out.

The first time had been over the summer, when she’d crashed The Falcon on her way to work. She’d been swerving to avoid a cat, but she knew how much Han loved that van.

She’d been so terrified of what Han would say that she’d been nearly incoherent when he and Leia arrived at the hospital, where Rey had received three stitches near her hairline. When they’d finally understood what had her so worried, Han had taken her hand, looked her straight in the eye, and told her in his no-nonsense way, “The only thing I care about right now is that you’re okay. Don’t you ever scare us like that again, kid, you hear me?”

She’d sniffled and nodded, wincing at her aching head. She’d offered to help him repair all the damage, and he’d let her. It had mollified her guilt, and she’d enjoyed the time working side-by-side.

After that, Rey had tried to make herself even more useful. They’d told her that she was family with or without Ben, and that had settled in her heart like a ray of sunshine, but some dark voice inside her continued to whisper that it was all temporary, all contingent on her value and her skills and her good behavior.

The second time was when Leia had figured out what Rey was doing. She’d told Rey point blank to knock it off and had been so genuinely angry that Rey had known they were done with her.

Instead of kicking her out, Leia had laid down the law. Rey would have normal chores and not be allowed to do anything extra, and she’d be grounded if Leia even suspected that she was worrying about that again.

“You’re in this family whether you like it or not, so just get used to it.”

They’d scheduled extra therapy sessions, and Rey had begun to grasp just how deep her abandonment issues ran. When the therapist asked her if she thought Ben was coming back, she’d considered it and quietly admitted, “No.” When the therapist asked what she’d do if he did return, she hadn’t had an answer.

She had an answer now. Han and Leia had told her at one point that she was the opposite of Ben — he’d never been able to hold his temper, but she never let hers go.

Well, she’d finally let go. On their son’s face.

Rey locked her bedroom door and entered the attached bathroom, closing and locking that door as well. As alone as she was going to get, she stared at herself in the mirror, then closed her eyes and remembered the way he’d looked when she’d hit him.

Stunned, confused. His hair had gotten longer. Leia would definitely be on him to cut it, but it looked beautiful. As luxurious as it was in the photos peppered around the house. She remembered braiding it ages ago, how soft it had felt in her hands.

His voice. Deep and dark and velvety.

Rey swallowed. What, really, had she raced home to do?

She edged her hands under the skirt of her sundress and into the waistband of her panties, shimmied them down, and knelt on the floor, back against the wall and knees spread as her heart pounded.

She hated him. Hated herself. But God, his voice had made her wet.

[She does what she set out to do. Eventually she hears the garage door.]

Time up. He was here.

[Successful finish but is still annoyed.]

Fuck him, she thought.

Yes, her body agreed.

Fuck you, too, she snarled at it, but it only throbbed happily in response.

Translations:

Dobro pozhalovat' domoy. // Welcome home. Rad tebya videt' // It’s good to see you. Tvoy aktsent uluchshilsya! // Your accent has improved! A ty ne mozhesh' delat' eto zdes'? // And you can’t do it here?

Like last time, please forgive me if these translations are off. Context Reverso is to credit for anything I got right. --------- Rey's dress here. --------- I mentioned somewhere that there was a scene I was super excited about after the Time Jump and that is the reunion scene here.

The chapter count will be going up. Definitely will need a bit more than I've allotted, but I don't want to overestimate, so the number will go up only as needed.

Last, I mentioned this recently (to Nancy; hi Nancy!), that I'm going to trust my instincts and cross my fingers that y'all will like how things go from here on out. So far, my instincts seem to have gone over well, but it's more than that. I want to make this an ending I'm proud of and can stand behind, and that means going with my gut and trusting myself. *happy thumbs up*

#Soul Searching #Soul Searching clean version #T for Teen

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iabsolutelyresentthiswebsite · 7 years ago

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The Last Jedi Sin #12

I was hesitant to name this post this title because I know how easily it turns people off to reading the post, but honestly, that is what this is and honestly, this one is really worth the read.

It is The Last Jedi Sin #12.

12. Plot-Driven Characters

Up until yesterday night, I didn’t know how to describe what was bothering me so much about TLJ in the respect I will be talking about in a few. It was just “wrong” and “unconvincing” because honestly, what Rian chose to do to these characters is rarely done.

Why? you ask

because this isn’t how you write, Rian!

When I was a Senior in HS, I had skipped a grade, but was taking college classes nonetheless. One of the classes I was taking was English 101 from a local college for dual high school and college credit. At the same time, I was taking English 102 from another local college. One of the first things I learned in my college classes, after y’know...being told them for years, was that good stories are driven by strong characters. This was reinforced when I elected to take Screenwriting 101 when I was a Sophomore in college. The plot is something that happens as a result of what a character does or fails to do. Of course, sometimes you have to push a character to push forward the plot...that’s a necessity of character development, but it has to feel natural and the plot has to feel like it was meant to happen. It has to make sense. The build-up to the climax has to feel as seamless as possible and plot is really to bend around the characters...

Not the other way around.

Did Rian not get that memo? Did like...no one tell him?

What bothers me so much, and is, in fact, The Last Jedi Sin #12 is that the whole movie of The Last Jedi is the plot driving the characters and not the characters driving the plot. It’s hard to describe, but I'm going to do my very best.

In The Original Trilogy, the protagonists and antagonists have a certain dynamic. Vader and Sidious have a master-apprentice relationship, but almost like equals. Luke, Han, and Leia have the friendship dynamic. Luke and Vader, however, have a very different dynamic because they are father and son and are the “Functional Skywalkers” of the Trilogy. (This is not meant to sideline Leia...it’s just that her dynamic with her father was not established until late into VI so the dynamic was overshadowed by Luke and Vader’s that was established as early as the end of IV, but formally established in the middle of V.)

Vader and Sidious wanted to control the whole galaxy and worked their asses off to destroy the Resistance. Luke, Leia, and Han were members of the Resistance and Resistance heroes; Luke was a Jedi and was bestowed a legacy upon him. The dynamic that really pushed forward the entire saga was the relationship of Luke Skywalker to Darth Vader.

The plot of the entire Star Wars OT was to redeem Anakin Skywalker, establish Luke Skywalker as a hero, and bring balance to the galaxy, all of which was accomplished, but could only have been accomplished through the dynamic that was Luke being the son of Darth Vader, taking the legacy of his father upon himself, believing in the goodness of his father, and being the strong, emotional, loving, faithful character he was. It could only have been accomplished because Darth Vader still had a heart and cared for his son more than he ever could care about power.

The entirety of the Prequels was the fall of Anakin Skywalker. The PT was, truthfully, so character-driven, it may have been character-driven to a fault because they were so focused on getting Anakin’s descent to the Dark Side satisfying and “right” that other things seemed to be pushed to the background. The main villains in the PT weren’t the most intimidating, except for Palpatine/Sidious, dialogue was clunky and awkward, but for the most part, the Prequels did a decent job at clearly displaying the internal struggle of Anakin Skywalker to remain good in the face of his dark tendencies, intense emotions he couldn’t control, and disdain for the Jedi Council.

Even TFA was a pretty character-driven story. JJ knew what to do, as much as few have faith in him.

The Force really Awakened when Finn saved Poe from the clutches of Kylo Ren and chose to finish Poe’s mission by bringing BB-8 back to the Resistance. Along the way, he met Rey, a girl whose emotions were very strong, had a very hard life, and wanted nothing more than a family. TFA repeatedly reminded the audience that Rey needed to return to Jakku because of her family, but because she found a family in the Resistance, she went full speed ahead into helping them and finding the belonging she sought ahead of her. Kylo Ren’s intentions in the movie were clear: to find Luke Skywalker and presumably to kill him. Why? We allegedly find out why in TLJ, but it’s unbelievable at best. He also desired to “finish what his grandfather started”, which was always a very confusing motivation because we all know Anakin Skywalker defected and murdered the Emperor as his last act in his life.

I digress.

How does TLJ differ from the OT, PT, and TFA?

Aside from the fact nothing in the movie should have logically happened, which I keep saying again and again...things just inexplicably happen to these characters and they just respond to it.

Like, the Resistance is suddenly on its last legs, so now Poe is a trigger-happy fly-boy and causes the death of lots of people.

Rose Tico sees Finn leaving the Resistance cruiser, so she tases him with no questions asked, thus resulting in this stupid side-quest on Canto Bight.

Rey hands Luke his lightsaber and he rejects it (which he never would have done), so she follows him around for days with literally nothing happening for the most part.

Kylo Ren and Rey have an inexplicable Force-Bond.

Like absolutely, a lot of those things happened because of what a character did, but these things just happen to these people. They react to it and we move on from it. It kinda dies as a concept as soon as someone reacts and by the end of the movie, the characterizations of all of the characters are basically unrecognizable, there was no plot, and we’re right back where we started...a return to normalcy.

Like Finn is exactly where he would have been without the trip to Canto Bight. Poe is exactly the same character. Rose Tico had little to no characterization in the first place. Kylo Ren is just as dark, if not a little darker. Luke’s character was assassinated. And Rey’s character regressed. Like...there was no point to this movie.

I said at the beginning that “strong characters drive a plot”. With what was just said and is true, none of those characters are strong, especially the one that so desperately needs to be- Rey. Rian Johnson altered their characters from TFA and changed them so that it would fit his narrative. That is an astoundingly stupid move. Because not only are these characters now weak, but they are not even themselves anymore! So these characters, who we didn’t come to see, are not experiencing any character development, in a movie with no plot, are doing nothing. I’m literally watching a movie about nothing with nothing happening!

The Last Jedi was boring in every single way but visually because there was no plot. There was no character development. There was no point except super cool visuals.

What drives a story is character development and a convincing plot based off of the characters, neither of which The Last Jedi had.

It has tHiNgS happen, but nothing that actually pushed the trilogy-long plot.

A lot of stuff happened in the Empire Strikes Back, like Lando in Cloud City with Darth Vader, Luke continues to train with Yoda and learn the ways of the Force, Han and Leia’s relationship happens, Han gets frozen in carbonite and given to Jabba, and whatnot. But what pushes the plot forward was the reveal that the Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, Luke Skywalker’s father, is still alive as Darth Vader. But had Lando not kinda “sold out” his friends to Vader, which led to Han being frozen in carbonite, Luke would have never left Jedi training to save his friends and fight his father, which led to the reveal that he was his father. Most of things that happen in this movie support the advancement of the trilogy-plot.

BUT NOTHING HAPPENED IN THE LAST JEDI.

The reveal, which could have been the turning point in the movie, making Rey a Skywalker or even a Kenobi, was shot to shit and actually regressed the plot because just when we thought we were getting somewhere, after the shitty central conflict of the Resistance running out of fuel and the slow-motion cat and mouse chase, Finn, Rose, and DJ’s failure and sell-out, we got literally nothing. Nothing supported any kind of plot because there was no plot to begin with. Rian was- objectively- trying to rip off ESB, but failed because he so desperately wanted to subvert fan expectations that he actually sacrificed his plot and characters so that he could be “edgy” and “different”.

Just when the Kylo-Rey dynamic was beginning to really be grounded and justified, Rian decided “hell fucking no” so whatever plot he was trying to go for, whatever character development he was trying to push forward, whatever he was trying to have happen, literally crumbled in front of the audience’s eyes.

The whole reason ESB was so good and the dynamic going into ROTJ was high-octane was because of the dynamic between father-son Vader-Luke. There were high stakes in place, there were risks involved, there was faith being tested with the legitimate possibility for validation, and Vader’s possibility of redemption. Luke and Vader’s lives were in jeopardy because of their relationship.

There is no dynamic between Rey and Kylo because they, yeah maybe sorta understand each other a little better, but they still hate each other. They allegedly have no relationship with one another whatsoever, so where are the stakes?! Kylo betrayed Rey after getting her hopes up. Like I honestly don’t know what to say about this.

I fear for the franchise because I don’t know how it can be saved at this point.

Rian Johnson wrote not only himself, but JJ Abrams into a corner.

You can’t write a compelling narrative where nothing happens and the characters simply respond to what happens to them. You can’t write a compelling narrative based on no stakes and no character development. People get bored when nothing happens and nothing progresses. I’ve had children tell me that TLJ “finished the same way the last movie did”. If children, Disney’s target market, can see it, that’s catastrophic.

This isn’t how writing works, Rian.

#the last jedi sins #tlj hate #anti rian johnson #writing #star wars #the last jedi #empire strikes back

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yeomangamer · 7 years ago

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After My Father’s Funeral Chapter 2

Summary: Funerals can be stressful, but so can weddings–especially with a family as effed up as theirs. Unfortunately for Leia, she has both to attend in one go. So much for repression. Modern AU with racer!Han and lawyer!Leia.

Pairings: Leia/Han, Mara/Luke, Jyn/Cassian, Leia&Han&Luke&Mara&Cassian&Jyn, Uncle Owen/Aunt Beru

Chapter summary: In which we meet our leading man

Chapter pairings: Han/Leia, Jyn&Leia, Mara/Luke, mention of Jyn/Cassian

A/N: thanks for all the support, see Ao3 and FFN versions for full author’s notes

One family function down, one ginormous one to go, Leia thought as Jyn poured her a drink of something strong—hopefully. Not that she loathed to see her dearest brother get married, but she hadn't anticipated all the socializing she would have to participate in. Particularly right after Skywalker's funeral. At first blush, however, Jyn and Cassian's small party didn't seem all too bad. There were around two dozen people there, mostly people she had known from around town, high school, or college. None of whom she was too keen to socialize with. It had taken all of her limited skills to slip away from the happy couple as everyone had greeted Luke and Mara at the door.

The couple had sat down in the main living room with everyone sat around them or having their own conversations. It was, by any means, a calm, normal get together. Cassian had mentioned that Jyn was in the kitchen pouring drinks, and Leia jumped at the opportunity. "I'll see if she needs any help," she had said, heading to the pointed direction of the kitchen.

Jyn had looked up to Leia coming in, but politely refused help. "Not much to do at this point, what'll you have?"

They'd sat in silence for a minute while Jyn poured, and Leia felt things were more than a little awkward.

"Tell me about yourself, Jyn," she said as the woman slid Leia the red plastic cup.

Jyn looked over her own cup and sighed. "I hate being the hostess, how's that?"

"Well, it does make it easy to go home at the end of the night." Leia took a cursory smell of the beverage, and took a sip.

Jyn smiled and nodded. "It does, but I was never much of a party girl."

"Neither was I. Give me a good book and a bottle of whiskey and I'll snap at you to leave me alone the whole night."

Jyn laughed at that. "You seem to be in better spirits than yesterday."

Leia shrugged. "You gotta let the past die sometime, right?" Jyn nodded, but seemed to look somber too. Leia sighed. "Don't tell me, Anakin Skywalker ruin your life too?"

Jyn shook her head. "I'm afraid that honor goes to my own father, Galen Erso." She'd had her body facing away from Leia until them. Jyn now turned to face her across the island counter.

Leia blinked. "Wait, the Galen Erso? Of-"

"Khyber Industries? Yeah. You've heard of us." Jyn didn't look up from her own drink, her lips were pursed.

"I guess our dad's are peas in a pod. Yours makes the explosives, and mine lights 'em." Leia tried to remember her promise to Luke. But how often do you meet a kindred spirit?

"Khyber doesn't only make explosives, and he wasn't a bad person, really, he wasn't. You have to believe me. Just-" Leia knew that feeling, the desperate desire to reconcile two conflicting ideas: father and creator of terror.

She decided to throw Jyn a bone, to show they were on the same side. "He hasn't left you a good legacy."

Jyn sighed as if relieved Leia understood. "No. It feels like a weight on my chest, like he somehow strapped the souls of all the people those terrorists took." Jyn took a long drink and rubbed her temple. "And no one understands, not even Cassian. He tries, oh he tries, but-"

Leia nodded emphatically. "Believe me, I get it. You're looking at probably the only person who does. Maybe Luke, but I doubt it."

Jyn sighed again and Leia placed a hand on her arm. They were quiet for another minute as Leia wondered. Cassian seemed to have a type, a thing for girls with daddies who committed atrocities and issues because of them.

"I shouldn't have brought it up. Just- being back home, I can't help but be depressed," Leia finally said, not wanting to let that be the last thing they say to each other.

"No, I'm the one who shouldn't have said anything. I know- erm…" Jyn raised her eyes to the ceiling, a different awkward radiating from her.

"How much has Cassian told you about me?" Leia asked, not trying to be confrontational.

"Some, I can't say how much. I know about your father, and your parents- the Organas, that they- they-"

Leia raised her hand. "Its fine, they're dead, no need to say anymore."

"And he said that you'd…changed, and you broke up not long after."

Leia chuckled that those two events were correlated so easily, while, to her, they had seemed so separate. Her parents died in a horrible tragedy, while her relationship with Cassian fizzled out after they both grew up. Maybe a change of subject was in order. People were starting to come into the kitchen for food and more drinks and it would be better if neither of them cried over their dead fathers. "You're maid of honor, yes?" Jyn nodded, scratching the side of her cup with her nails. "Lucky you, you and Mara close?" People were coming by, getting drinks and chatting.

Jyn nodded again. "We had the same foster parents for a while, and have been close ever since. She's the one who introduced me to Cassian, at the races."

Ah the races, Leia had nearly forgotten about them. For a while, in Coruscant, she had been able to pretend that people didn't actually lose their time, money, and minds over gasoline fueled moving parts and tire treads. "How're those going by the way?"

Jyn chuckled at that. "Pretty well, I guess, but that's a pretty broad question." She handed someone a drink.

"Who's- who's winning?" Leia had no idea what she was talking about, and she was sure Jyn could pick up on that. Luke had done some small-time racing in college, even once winning and semi-final, but never made it to the local pro-circuit. He'd said it just wasn't his scene, and went back to studying transcendentalists.

"Well, it will depend on who you ask." Jyn leaned over the counter and gestured to a man standing on the end of the island counter where they were sitting. "Like he'll tell you no one matters but him, but he also lost the most recent race. So it differs, you see."

The man seemed to hear Jyn because he turned his head and grinned at her. His smile was charming, Leia would give him that, but bregrudingly.

"One time," he said. "I let them have one, Erso." He kept his body facing away from the two women, taking a drink from his own cup.

"Tell that to the others, Solo, you'll be in for a fight," Jyn told him, not looking up at him. She poured a drink for a woman Leia didn't know but was faintly familiar.

"You know me, always looking for a good fight." Leia watched him as he caught the eye of the woman getting a drink from Jyn. The smirk was back. "Don't do the Kessel Run in 12 parsecs with a passive attitude."

That comment tickled a part of Leia's memory. Where had she read something about that again?

"Leave her alone, Han. She's not going to sleep with you." Jyn's warning was firm but also slightly teasing.

"Maybe let her decide for herself." He turned around finally and smiled at her. "Hi," he said.

She smiled and greeted him back.

"What's your-"

"Its 13," Leia said finally, causing everyone at the island to look at her. "If you're Han Solo, it was 13 parsecs, not 12."

His whole demeanor changed, standing up straight and pursing his lips. His brown leather jacket fit him very nicely, but did nothing to hide his size, while not humongous, intimidating nonetheless "It was less than 13, that's the official ruling. I should know, I was there." There was more annoyance than amusement in his voice, but not completely devoid of mirth.

"That's true, 12.759. But the officiants count in quarters and round up." Leia'd always had the reputation for being a "know-it-all," which was annoying even if she did deserve it.

"How do you-"

"I have the official record, well, a picture anyway." Leia showed them her phone.

He leaned over the table and squared his jaw, squinting at the picture. "Where did you get that?" He sounded more curious than accusatory.

"I'm a lawyer, and it was necessary research for a case that I'm not at liberty to discuss as it is still ongoing."

He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "You can't just pull up documents like that-"

"Actually you can, its in the public record." She slid her phone back into her pocket. "No one does because its a lot of work, but sometimes your findings can pay off. Like at a party where a guy is using technically correct facts to hit on women."

Jyn chuckled moving away from the counter, the other woman had already walked away. Solo uncrossed his arms and walked—sauntered even—to lean on the counter next to where Leia was. "I don't believe we've been properly introduced, I'm-"

"Han Solo, we established this already." She did her best to keep her body language neutral so that there would be no doubt that his attempts at flirting were not working.

"And you're the girl who made quite the scene the burial yesterday." There was a ghost of a smile on his lips.

Leia felt her lips twitch into a smile, but she reigned them back to placid. "You were there?"

He shrugged. "I was invited."

"I would hope so, who in their right mind wants to crash a funeral?"

"Those guys you yelled at didn't seem to mind." The smile split his lips now.

"I rest my case." She broke eye contact with him. His eyes were just too much to stare into. She took a sip of her drink for something to do.

"So who was the dead guy to you?"

"I should ask you the same, you're not related to him, I know that much."

"How-"

The door flew open, held open by Luke's outstretched arm. "Han!" Luke said, a bit more enthusiastic than he'd probably intended, but it was sometimes hard to tell with Luke. "I see you've met my little sister. Leia, this is Han."

The two in the kitchen turned to stare at the open door. Everyone in the living room has stopped what they were doing to peer in at the drama and Leia sighed.

"Wait- wait, you're L-"

"Leia Organa, nice to meet you. Let's not do this again, shall we?" She slid off the stool she'd been perched on, heading for the door.

"He bothering you, Leia?" Luke asked as Leia moved to go past him.

"Worried about me, baby brother?" Leia didn't look to see, but she was sure Luke made a face.

The party resumed as normal, but now Leia was sitting next to Cassian and Jyn as everyone watched an old movie. It was one of Luke's favorites, she knew that, but had missed the beginning. She felt the couch next to her sink with the weight of a person, and felt her annoyance level spike.

"So as I was saying 'fore we got so rudely interrupted," Solo said quietly enough so that only she could hear. "Sorry about your dad."

She flinched and set her jaw. "My dad died on the sidewalk of the town square five years ago after being mowed down by a car. The man we buried yesterday was nothing to me."

He seemed speechless by her admission, but it didn't make him go away either. "I'm sorry," he only said. "Life's fucking complicated."

"And you're making it so much better currently."

"I've been known to turn the attitude of a room, I admit." She refused to look at him, but she knew he was smirking.

"From bad to worse, yeah." She glanced at him, and he was indeed smiling. "And what are you smirking at?"

"Its just so amusing that you don't even know me, but have decided you hate me."

"I don't hate you, like you said, I don't know you."

"Could've fooled me."

Cassian moved to look over Leia. "Han, stop it. You may think you're an unstoppable force, but she is definitely an immovable object. Leave her alone," he said, settling back down.

"Thank you, Cassian," Leia said. "What a gentleman." She couldn't stop the words coming out of her mouth, and immediately regretted them.

"He just compared you to a rock or likewise." Solo's voice was different, no longer teasing, genuinely offended?

Maybe I'm into that, she desperately wanted to say, desperately wanted to see what he would do when she said that. But she knew what it would sound like to Cassian and Jyn, both of whom she had a terse friendship to begin with. No, better to show restraint. She was an adult, after all.

"Say it," Solo egged. "Whatever comment you're biting back, say it."

She only looked at him, using up the last of her resolve to stand and cross the room. She wedged her way in between Mara and an old college friend of Luke's to rest against her soon-to-be sister. She did her best to not look at Mr. Solo the rest of the night.

#star wars #sw #Han Solo #leia organa #han x leia #leia skywalker #leia #han #star wars: original triology #star wars au #mara jade #luke skywalker #after my fathers funeral #after my fathers funeral chapter 2 #original triology

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lonestorm · 7 years ago

Note

1) Hi, I'm the anon who asked why you are pro-life? I honestly hate that I created trouble for you and that people are now going to make you answer about all this instead; I apologise, I had asked out of curiosity and not out of malice. The question had been badly worded, but I'm still confused whether or not to accept abortion.

2) A person I know previously had one– and I have always felt it wasn’t my business what she did with her body and her baby. But, you make a solid argument, it IS a human life we are talking about here, and yet, I feel that the fetus can’t exactly be expected to care about a life it hasn’t received, and a life that may not treat it well once it is born as an unwanted child. And there still is the question of people who were raped, especially young children and teens.

3) I know you believe all life is sacred, but I think the life of a young pregnant person and their choice matters just as much as an unborn fetus. Who knows if they have the money, the support and the overall ability to raise a child? So is abortion murder? I sometimes think it is. Other times, no. It’s a controversial topic, and I have always felt if people want to have an abortion then it’s their choice. I’m sorry if it seemed I wanted to argue, I simply wanted a broader perspective on this.

—

Hi again, Anon!

Hey, it’s no problem! I didn’t sense malice. I enjoy a good discussion. It was a good question! I’m happy when people ask instead of the usual name calling. Honestly, I got a little less trouble than I expected. Being a pro-lifer on a college campus has made me paranoid about people finding out that I’m… not a liberal. In fact, I met a fellow closet conservative on campus today, and she shushed me because she was afraid some others in the room heard us discussing policy. It’s usually not fun if people find out O.O

I’m afraid, though, that I’m a bit confused on some of your points. I don’t really think I can stand behind the notion that someone deserves to live because they care about life or not. This goes back to the first argument of how arguments for abortion don’t match up with other situations. Does this mean that it’s okay to kill people that are in a coma, or suicidal? They don’t necessarily care about living.

And is it okay to kill someone because YOU don’t think they’ll have a good life? I simply don’t think I have the right to tell someone that I’m going to “mercy kill” them because I don’t think they’ll have a good life. A person can make a good life for themselves, no matter where they come from, and it’s not my place to stop them because I think they can’t make it. In this regard, there are countries that think it’s okay to do abortions for the purpose of ridding their country of wonderful people with down syndrome or autism because they apparently won’t “have a good life or contribute to society.” Sorry that’s just… so wrong.

I did address my view on cases of rape in the previous post.

And a person and their choice mattering as much as the child’s life… that just doesn’t make sense to me. If I murdered someone and then went to court saying, “My choice on whether the person I killed was beneficial to my existence matters just as much as their very existence,” I would be chucked in prison. If they don’t have the money or capacity to care for the child, then like I answered, there are hundreds of organizations and individual people more than willing to help and/or help you get your child adopted. I listed to a talk by a man who was pro life–because of his advocacy, a young mother reached out to him and expressed to him that she was having trouble with her pregnancy. She had decided not to get an abortion, but she didn’t have enough money to support her medical bills or the child. The man got her information and made a funding account for her online and threw in a few hundred dollars. Within hours, his supporters had donated thousands to her cause. All you need to do is reach out. People WANT to help mothers through this.

I don’t mean to sound harsh or like I think you’re bad for disagreeing with me–I don’t feel like that at all! :) But all in all, I think murder is always murder, and saying otherwise is a wish to ignore more difficult truths. It’s been shown in nearly every hero’s journey we know: Harry Potter, Anakin Skywalker, Frodo, most superhero stories, hell, even Kaz Brekker… The hero has a difficult decision–to do what is right, or do what is easy. In the end, through much internal and external struggle, they do what is right through sacrifice, and often get a reward they didn’t expect in the end. Women who don’t get abortions I see as heroes. The world told them it was okay to escape the problem through an easy solution, but they chose the path of righteousness, their hero’s journey, even though it was the harder path. God bless them–they’re role models for us all.

Don’t be sorry! I’m happy that you want to discuss and get others’ opinions to widen your perspective. Like I said, that’s very mature and awesome of you. I understand that it must be more difficult to accept when you know someone who had an abortion. Just know that people like me don’t think she’s evil, but do disagree with her choices and wish to educate–I believe a beautiful thing about love is how you can love someone even when you disagree with them. You are welcome in my askbox any time :)

#asks #anon #pro life #abortion #Catholic #Christian #liberal #conservative

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star-wars-canon-blog · 8 years ago

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An Introduction

When it comes to Star Wars, I grew up in a strange period of purgatory. Unlike the kids of the 70’s and the 80’s, (the latter of which only comprising the first three years of my life), I have no memories of seeing any of the original films in theaters. But neither did I spend my golden years surrounded by the omnipresence that is Star Wars, like the children of today. My earliest memories of Star Wars come from commercials for Micro Machines’ “Star Wars Action Sets,” or the odd clip featured on Muppet Babies. It wasn’t until I was nearing 7 years old that my father was prompted by the promotional sale of THX’s digitally remastered VHS release to buy these movies on a lark, and show them to my sister and I.

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In later years, I would collect each and every one of these, in lieu of any of the Kenner line. They imprinted on me, early.

Now, my father is not the ubergeek that I am. This was a guy who owns his own construction business, loves college football and was the quintessential jock, growing up. In my youngest years, I do recall him being a fan of Star Trek - The Next Generation, but aside from that, he didn’t, and still doesn’t, bear the trappings of what we would recognize as “nerd culture.” And yet, even so, he had a sneaking suspicion that we might appreciate these movies. Little did he know he was creating a monster. My sister and I sat glued to the TV as we binged both A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back, periodically taking breaks to run upstairs from the TV room and re-enact our favorite scenes. For the record, I do remember the revelation of Vader’s true identity spoiled for me long before I ever saw the movie.

"Well, thank you, Mr. Blow-The-Picture-for-Me.”

Of course, the day after that was Sunday, which meant we were both returning to our Mother’s house, after spending the weekend with Dad. My parents had divorced a few years prior, which meant that every other weekend we spent with my father, while the remainder of the time, we lived with her. This, of course, meant that it was going to be another two weeks before I got to figure out what happened in Return of the Jedi. It was agony. I couldn’t focus in school, (not that I was overly concerned with that, anyway), none of my friends had seen any of them, so I couldn’t even talk with them about that, and, of course, this was a time before the ubiquity of the internet, so looking up spoilers wasn’t even an option. After a few days, I begged and pleaded with my mom to take me to Blockbuster Video so that we could rent the third movie. They didn’t have it. Not that it was already on loan...they simply didn’t have a copy in stock.

And apparently, insisting my mother buy me ANOTHER copy of the trilogy was “unreasonable.”

Finally, the two weeks were up, and after a grueling two-hour car ride to Chatham County, North Carolina, I threw my copy of Return of the Jedi into the VCR and sat with my sister to watch. It was pure catharsis. The fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty about the future that Luke must have felt between episodes V and VI was mirrored in my own grip of suspense, and when the Jedi finally returned, he did so with gusto. To my relief, Luke did not end up killing his father, but instead, met a form of reconciliation. A realization that despite their differences, Luke and Anakin were more alike than perhaps either of them initially realized. It hit me very close to home. After all, if there was hope for Vader and Luke, perhaps there was hope for me and my father, as well.

My father and I’s relationship was complex, to say the least. As mentioned previously, we could not have been more different in terms of interests and hobbies. For that matter, we often found ourselves butting heads more often than not. As a child of divorced parents, especially at such a young age, I had my fair share of trust issues that manifested themselves in assorted ways. And my father’s patience could sometimes be very thin. In retrospect, I feel that he did the best that he could, and I certainly didn’t make things any easier on my part. My desires to dream big often came at the cost of my focus on reality. In short, the idea of staying on the farm, fixing Moisture Vaporators seemed like agony, while I’d rather be playing with my Skyhopper.

“Ptew! Ptew! Take that, Womprat!”

Much like the aforementioned pair, my father and I did eventually grow to a more mutual understanding that came with age and maturity, on both of our parts, and a developing sense of compromise. However when the credits rolled for the final time, I remember being struck with the strongest sense of depression. After all, it was over. There were no more adventures to be had. Of course, there were rumors, at the time, of the prequel trilogy coming to light, soon...but those were many years incoming. Until my next trip to the library revealed to me that the adventures had not ended...they had only begun.

While far from the first written, Timothy Zahn’s Thrawn Trilogy books certainly among the most popular and groundbreaking.

My sister, being a bit older than me, was able to tear through Timothy Zahn’s Heir to the Empire and subsequent books, while I tried to occupy myself with slightly easier fare. I tore through Kevin J. Anderson’s Young Jedi Knights series the way kids today absorb Harry Potter. Which doesn’t surprise me, as from a narrative standpoint, the two bear very striking similarities. For the record, I’d take training on Yavin IV with Luke Skywalker over a letter from Hogwarts any day of the week. As for creating my own stories, my stepmother worked for a distribution company that focused on memorabilia, and as such, I had access to not only toys but trading cards, posters, cardboard standups, everything. And of course, at the time, catalogs and special orders were the only place where such things could be procured. Christmas of that year consisted of nothing but Star Wars.

Imagine, if you can, a time when Star Wars merchandise was hard to come by.

I finally got to see my favorite movies on the big screen once again when in 1997, the Original Trilogy was re-released into theaters for the Special Edition. Seeing the updated special effects was...kind of cool, but I never felt there was anything particularly wrong with them in the first place. Spoiled by such realistic effects as seen in Jurassic Park, their dated hokiness only added to their charm. To me, it was somehow more impressive that they were able to do all of that without computers. But the bonus side-effect of the Special Edition was the bringing of Star Wars back into the cultural spotlight. Not only did toys return to the shelves, but games like Rebel Assault II and Masters of Teräs Käsi for the Sony Playstation gave these weird little movies that only I seemed to love a sense of legitimacy.

Ahh, Masters of Teräs Käsi, the fighting game that gave players control of their favorite Star Wars characters. Like Luke, Leia, Chewbecca, and of course, the unfortunately monikered Hoar.

Of course, being a kid, I didn’t have much of the geeky sense of ownership that comes with a niche interest becoming more mainstream. To me, I was simply thankful that my friends were starting to take an interest. Within a few years, speculation began to stir about the impending release of Star Wars: Episode I. And then came the day that the trailer dropped. I remember waiting hours, on my dial-up connection, for a grainy trailer to load, playing whatever footage had already buffered over and over again until finally getting to watch the entire trailer from start to finish. Now, in my older, more cynical times, I would cringe at the enthusiasm that I expressed for The Phantom Menace, but of course, at the time, I was simply happy to see another Star Wars movie. And while my first love shall always remain the originals, in spite of myself, I can’t outright say that I am capable of hating any of them.

Hate does, after all, lead to suffering…

It seems almost embarrassing to say that most of my passions can be sourced, in some way, from Star Wars. My love for reading developed from both the previously mentioned Young Adult novels and also Lord of the Rings, books that were recommended to me simply because of my love of Star Wars. I grew up from playing “the Adventures of Luke and Leia” with my sister to telling my own stories via many of the Star Wars Role-Playing Games that have come out across the years, (and continue to do so, to this day.) My admiration for Voice Acting coming from the sheer astonishment that the guy who voiced the Joker in my favorite cartoon also played Luke Skywalker. And my love of filmmaking can be traced back to the puppetry and special effects utilized in the originals. Indeed, this blog, a Star Wars blog, is the conduit through which to pursue my passion for writing.

With movies being released, television shows in development and/or production, numerous comic book titles published by Marvel, and full-length novels being written on the regular, this franchise - which started out as three simple movies - only seems to be getting bigger by the day. This blog, for the most part, is an exploration of the stories that exist within the Star Wars canon. An exploration of the overarching story of the Skywalker family, and the struggles of the Light against the Dark. In addition to that, however, it is also an insight into the fandom of Star Wars, itself, and just what it is about these stories that want us to create our own. Whether you love the prequels, or hate them; whether the idea of a new generation of Star Wars fans delights or repulses you, and whether the codifying and quantifying of canon versus Legends is a source of relief or frustration -- we all want to live, if only for an hour or two, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...

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