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bkdotblog · 2 years ago

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Everything Worth Knowing: SLC Reunion Part 1

A brief recap of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Reunion Part 1

Hi girls and gays,

Pardon the delay in posting. Not to brag but I am in fact currently on vacation, using a VPN to stream shoddy BravoTV.com footage of the Salt Lake City reunion like a thirsty digital hamster drinking from a thirsty digital hamster’s drinking tube. I know that nobody cares, and in fact most of my followers I have discovered to be sexy lady e-Bots, but I thought all two of you who read these might like to know the facts of my tardiness. Apologies!

Alas, I could not let another week go by without barking my thoughts into the void, like a thirsty digital hamster who also barks. I’m going to sum up some of my thoughts on the reunion part 1, which are mostly negative, and will hopefully be back to share my thoughts on part 2 as soon as I can watch. If you feel inclined, let me know your thoughts on the reunion and season 3 writ large below in the comments. Mary Cosby bless us all,

Key Takeaways

The set design was “dilapidated church.” It looked like a Super Smash Brothers stage, and I loved it.

2. Some of the ladies took ketamine and shrooms in Zion. For my money it was Whitney, Heather, Jen. Fun! I would have too. Lisa was being weird about it.

3. Jen Shah called Heather “right before she walked into the courtroom” to enter a guilty plea. What did Heather say? “Good luck!” And then they cried. OK!

4. Heather’s Black Eye mystery was solved in the most anticlimactic way possible. Her repeated assertion that she both does and doesn’t know what happened actually checked out: She was extremely drunk, and embarrassed of how drunk she had been. Unfortunately, her need for a storyline superseded this reserve. Also, even if it isn’t true, now everybody watching thinks Jen punched Heather. Damage done, ten fold. At least we can all move on.

5. Whitney Rose has become the moral center of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City universe. When the ladies would get bogged down in meaningless specifics — such as what Meredith meant by she wouldn’t want to file with the SEC at this point in her life because of the “compliance” involved — Whitney would realign them — by reminding that it wasn’t about the content, but the implication that Lisa’s business were financially insecure — with the precision of a master chiropractor. I am a big Wild Rose fan after this season. BRB … lemme go buy some skincare!!

6. Meredith Marks has lost all appeal. At this point, Meredith’s position on the show is purely decorative. During the first non-Jen topic of the night, Meredith reminds the viewers that she has said, time and time again, that her issues with Lisa are not about the hot mic moment. Really? This was news to me… I thought that was the whole thing? (“Don’t come for my fahmlae!”) Instead, it was about the texts she posted after the last reunion, which other than being private are pretty flattering for both sides. Later on she calls Jen to settle a matter of hearsay related to Lisa using the term “pill-popper”. Tell me: Is there anybody on Latter Day Saint's green Earth with less credibility than Jen?

For me, Meredith was at her most interesting last season when Jen was arrested while she was in a bathtub across state lines, basically instantly believed Jen to be guilty, and swore off their friendship. Now she and Heather are swirling the toilet bowl after their BFF Jenny. Utterly pathetic.

7. The only path forward for Meredith is to reconcile with Lisa. By demonstrating the human quality of forgiveness, Meredith might be able to trick audiences into believing she is more than simply a tennis bracelet brought to life during an occult ritual gone awry. Otherwise… have fun on Ultimate Girls Trip, Mare!

8. Danna and Angies… I’m not seeing star power. Sorry, girls. There’s always TikTok! But I did appreciate Danna for consistently seeing through Jen's antics. I did not appreciate her blaccent.

9. Lisa Barlow came out on top, but not without taking some hits. Lisa’s sort of byzantine attitude about drugs was a stain on an otherwise perfect reunion. My favorite part was when she was like, “Why are we calling Jen for her thoughts on a particular matter when she is going to jail for deceiving the public?” And everybody was like, “Oooh…” like it was below the belt. It wasn’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10. Next season, we need a devout Mormon housewife to come on the show. She is our only hope of taking Heather down a few notches.

11. Mary Cosby will also do. I need Her Divine Greatness Ms. Cosby like a thirsty barking hamster needs water. Bravo: Give her what she wants!

#real housewives of salt lake city recap #real housewives #salt lake city #lisa barlow #jen shah #meredith marks #heather gay #whitney rose #the real housewives of salt lake city

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rahleeyah · 3 years ago

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Last night I watched People vs Richard Wheatley again. I think I may have missed something in the conversation Barba has with Olivia. What exactly would have happened if Barba didn't take Wheatley's case? He said that Wheatley would have hired some shark to come after the NYPD, Stabler and her.

If she was to take the stand and face this "shark" of a lawyer, what would they have on her? Barba said her relationship with Elliot but isn't that just hearsay? There is no proof of a relationship. Olivia has never said she and Elliot have had a relationship beyond partnership. I'm just wondering if there was something that I missed in previous SVU seasons (I've only really watched up to the end of season 17 then started again when they announced Meloni's return) that would truly have a negative effect on her career if it was presented in court.

I initially thought he was talking about her lying on the stand about nearly beating William Lewis to death while handcuffed. If that truly was one of Barba's concerns wouldn't that be about him looking out for himself also. In Psycho Therapist, he said that Lewis's lawyer would go after her for excessive force for crushing his skull while he was hancuffed. He then told her to make sure she studied her initial testimony to the grand jury to keep her story straight? He knew she lied on the stand. Was he worried about that situation being brought up again? Or was it something in the seasons I missed? If there is more could you please tell me the season and episodes? Thanks!

so we talked about this a lot around the time that the episodes aired, but here's kinda where i landed with that he's protecting her thing.

he's not going to bring up the perjury thing, bc as you point out that's gonna wreck him as much as it wrecks her. someone else could bc she publicly confessed to it - the brass walked it back afterwards but a different attorney could raise doubt about that. now that still feels partially selfish, right?

so the thing is, another defense attorney isn't gonna get up there and be like hey isn't it true you're fucking this guy? bc 1) you never ask a question you don't know the answer to and 2) she's not.

but.

sex is not a requirement for olivia's judgment to be impaired.

another attorney, one who is not barba, is gonna go through liv's record. they're gonna see that for every incident of excessive force, every shooting in elliot's jacket, liv was there. they're going to see all the complaints in liv's jacket. they're going to see the mandated counseling for both of them. they're going to see that, handcuffed or not, liv beat the shit out of lewis. they're going to see that she ducked her protective detail, went after him, that lewis died and she claimed it was suicide but no one believed her, and they even convened a grand jury over it. they're going to see the facts.

and they're going to use the facts to introduce the concept of reasonable doubt about olivia's motives and testimony.

they're going to say he has a history of violence, and so does she. she's as bad as he is. she's as likely to railroad an innocent man as he is - there is at least one documented case where liv interrogated an innocent man to the point he broke, and confessed to something he didn't do, and spent more than a decade in jail because of her (they're not going to mention she got him out). they're going to point at elliot and say she's too close to this man, too much like this man, and her squad never should have been handed this investigation in the beginning, but they were. they're going to say how much damage did she do while she was in charge? they're going to say why shuold we believe she wouldn't lie for a man she cares for, wouldn't do anything to help him? they're going to say captain benson can't be trusted where detective stabler is concerned, bc it's documented that they're reckless together and that she's been reckless with other people's civil rights. barba shows the tape of the initial interrogation and says that liv noticed what elliot was doing and tried to stop him, and therefore elliot is a bad man; another defense attorney is going to say she knew what he was going to do, and let him into the room anyway, and therefore she is bad. another defense attorney is going to say she has a habit of fucking other cops - cassidy and tucker are on the record, now. liv got bounced out of svu briefly bc of her connection to tucker. they have room to insinuate without asking outright.

another defense attorney, who is solely trying to sow doubt, is going to drag olivia through the mud, and whether or not she is currently fucking elliot never has to play into the bargain.

barba won't do that. he didn't do that.

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

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avversiera-writes · 4 years ago

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‘till death do us part - chapter 2 [tobirama senju/you]

Chapter 2 - Union

Summary: In which there are many preparations to make for the wedding, and Tobirama has a hard time keeping his brother in check.

Words: 4.3k

A/N: Merry Christmas! I try to keep everything under 5k TT

Also available on AO3.

<< Chapter 1 - Allegiances

Eight months later…

Because for some reasons beyond your understanding, you are not allowed to see Tobirama days prior to the wedding. It is in accordance with the Senju clan traditions, and while you are very happy to adapt to their customs and whatnot, this part seems so absurd to you. You are really beginning to miss that scowling face of your betrothed, and you have not even married yet.

Then again, maybe this is why such a tradition exists. Time and distance do make the heart grow fonder.

All you can do is busy yourself with teaching kenjutsu at the Academy part-time, more reading and bride preparations with Mito, and advising your newly Chunin students, since you cannot run missions with them while you wait to be married. The three of them seem to enjoy their newfound autonomy from you, and while you worry for them, you are glad that they are learning to be on their own.

Fortunately, you had found a friend in your future sister-in-law, Uzumaki Mito.

While she can be firm and strict, you find that you can easily open up to her and even joke around with her, as you tend to do to diffuse any negative feelings in the air. You couldn’t help it. Humor is always a comforting fallback when everything feels bleak.

"Are you alright?" Mito asks, as she helps you fit into your wedding robes. "You seem preoccupied."

You shrug. "I guess I am nervous."

Mito smiles and brushes your hair aside. "I'm sure he is, too."

"Did you also go through these traditions?"

Mito tampers down a smile. "Not all of them. You are kind of the first big event for the family in a while. Even my eldest son did not get such grandeur for his wedding."

You raise an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Hashirama insists on throwing you and Tobirama a huge celebration, and well, back then, we were at war. I was married young, and my focus was on helping my husband, the tailed-beasts, our young village and alliances. And raising our firstborn son."

"Sounds like a full plate."

Mito chuckles. "It was."

You let out a small, nervous laugh. "I hope I am not letting you all down or anything. I did not live in the same circumstances. I couldn't possibly relate."

"Oh, how preposterous. We are happy that you are marrying into our family. You need not to worry."

You smile discreetly, touched by Mito’s words. "I am flattered, thank you."

Mito turns you around by the shoulders and studies you. "Please take care of Tobirama. You know how he is."

Mito hums and meets your eyes, back to her serious self. "Now, would you like your hair up or down?"

When Hashirama is not attending to his Hokage duties or taking care of his family, he is nowhere to be found except in places where his vices are exacerbated. If no one is there to keep him in line, he passes his time by getting inebriated wherein he can barely put one foot in front of the other, or his new favorite past-time: gambling.

Tobirama, as much as he has refined his sensory skills, cannot find his elder brother.

Which means that he really does not want to be found.

However, he always knows where Hashirama will end up. He just has to follow the paper trail of new debt and hearsays from the common folk that are now residing in the village.

Tobirama is not angry, but he is frustrated that his brother refuses to get his act together. It has been months, and the year is almost about to end but his brother is still caught up with Madara’s desertion, and it is hindering his job as Hokage. Tobirama can only do so much to support his elder brother, and while he will never give up on him, the job gets challenging when he has to be there to guard his brother’s decisions and thoughts.

Tobirama will let him wallow in his grief, but he cannot allow him to sabotage the very village that he had dreamt of establishing.

This was his dream, and Tobirama has sought to make sure that it will stand for the future generations to come.

It does not help that Hashirama keeps throwing money on him to ensure that his wedding is a huge spectacle in the village. He would have liked it to be a small family affair, but Tobirama just wants to do whatever he can to make his brother feel better. The truth is, Hashirama is a pretty good gambler, but as always, he takes uncalculated risks that empties his pockets at the end of the night. When he does not want to quit, he ends up taking from their clan’s money and the village’s coiffers.

Tobirama has no choice but to keep reprimanding him, and while it is one of his many specialties, it is not easy to do so. He understands so well that his brother is hurting that it frustrates him to no end.

Mostly because he has no remedy for this but time. A concept that he continuously battles with.

It is nearing midnight, and Tobirama still has not found his brother. He wishes to converse with him, especially now that he is about to delve into another chapter of his life, but their brotherly talks have been scarce, and sometimes Tobirama can still sense that Hashirama still holds a small amount of resentment towards him.

Tobirama cannot really blame him. What he feels most guilty of, is that he is, to put it simply, happy and if he goes on his merry way, what will become of his brother? How is he in a better place when his own blood is suffering?

It is not fair.

Tobirama wants to help him, wants to fix it all to make it better, because that is who he is. He is the one who has the solutions and the formulas and the theories. He is supposed to be the one to look out for his brother, to take care of him because this has been the way things were since they were little. He is supposed to make sure that Hashirama has a reasonable voice beside him. He wishes he knows what to do in order to comfort him, or maybe he just wants to be forgiven and hear those words from him.

Despite the lateness of the night, the streets are quite energetic and bright. There are still many people milling around, some rowdy and some enjoying the activities that the night can only bring out.

Tobirama passes by a few active stores, and he tries to shut out the overwhelming smells and noises and the icky feeling on his skin that appears when he is in a crowded place, or when he is particularly in overdrive mode. He is glad that he is wearing his long, tight-fitted clothes, or he would have screamed if someone accidentally brushes past him.

Well, as loud as a stubborn person like him can scream.

Tobirama takes a deep breath and he concentrates so that he can try again. He infuses his chakra, and starts to expand his scope, little by little, and examines the chakra signatures around him. He breaks them down, like he might a puzzle or a new object he has discovered and he holds them up for observation. He looks to the places where no one might go, listens in to spaces where no one can be heard.

The rest of the physical world falls away, and he connects himself to every temperamental presence surrounding him. Even those who can disappear does not mean they are completely invisible.

He feels the whole village in him, can count those who are sleeping and those who are still awake. He senses you as he is drawn to you like a moth to a flame, and his heart releases a tender breath, a fact that he will keep hidden from you and anyone else.

He keeps going.

Then, Tobirama catches a blinding presence and he zeroes in like a hawk.

His eyes go towards the Hokage mountain, where his brother’s face is carved like a watchful god. He lets out a hefty sigh and takes to the rooftops to get to where his brother is.

He arrives silently, and makes himself as quiet and small as possible. He hides in the shadows, and he glances at his elder brother, who is sitting on the ground and staring at the distance. The gentle breeze that passes without a pattern picks up strands of his hair and carries it along the way, for however long the breeze blows.

The night engulfs them like a blanket, and Tobirama waits on his elder brother, for as long as it takes.

Things begin to look up two days before the wedding.

However, Tobirama is a mess. More than his usual mess.

“Brother, you are getting married in a couple of days,” Hashirama chides, purposely messing up Tobirama’s weapons and the supplies he is trying to pack. “This is no time for a mission.”

Tobirama presses his lips together into a grim, tight line. He still keeps moving around, eyes focused on his task and trying his hardest not to explode at his brother.

“I am not going on a mission,” Tobirama looks down at his hands, which are trembling slightly. Then, he gives his brother a pointed look.

“Then, why all this fuss?” Hashirama raises a kind eyebrow.

Tobirama keeps mum, and he glares at the mess his elder brother made. He was only trying to organize his things into one place so that he will know where to find them when he has moved into his newly-wed house.

"These are for the new house, so I won't lose them," Tobirama sighs and his forehead knits. "Elder brother…"

Hashirama clasps his younger brother’s shoulders and steadies him. He tries to meet his gaze, but Tobirama’s eyes are somewhere else, and he looks to see that they are apprehensive, not because he does not want to marry this woman that he had courted despite his restrictions on himself, but because he is uncertain of what is to come. Tobirama never likes uncertainty. This is not like those battles he had fought that were full of surprises. At least he would know how to act and adapt.

Whereas, now.

“I do not have much to give her,” Tobirama confesses quietly, looking down at his feet.

Hashirama’s face morphs into surprise. While it is not strange for Tobirama to confide with him, this catches him off guard since Tobirama is opening himself up to him with his doubts.

"Are you nervous?" Hashirama asks.

Tobirama glares at his brother as if asking him such a question is a crime.

Hashirama’s face softens and he looks towards the opened shoji doors. He takes a few seconds to answer, taking his time to look at the night sky that blanketed the village they founded with blood, sweat and tears.

"You can protect her, provide to her a home...a family."

Tobirama takes his hand to clutch the other hand and keep it from shaking. Sometimes, when he is not in battle, his hands shake randomly. Sometimes, it is aggravated by his inability to manage his emotions.

For someone who teaches and practices the ways of controlling emotions, there are just times when it comes out like water leaking out of a dam with several holes. Tape one shut and another appears.

"Besides, she agreed to marry you. She might have seen something past your handsome face.”

Tobirama rolls his eyes. "Elder brother, stop it."

Hashirama bursts out laughing, and Tobirama smiles despite himself. It has been a while since they shared a laugh.

"Do not worry," Hashirama reassures him and reaches for his shoulder. “Just be happy, brother.”

Tobirama blinks. Happiness is so tangible, yet a matter he never tried to pursue. After all, what happiness can he strive for when he is at war? Then again, things have been relatively peaceful. Perhaps, he can try. As much as his sense of logic can let him.

The day finally comes, that you will see the man you have been waiting for. It feels like you have not seen Tobirama in forever, and the longer the procession drags on, the more you grow impatient. You really miss the bastard, and you keep looking around just to get a glimpse of him and hurting your neck in the process because of the heavy headdress that you have allowed your hair to be subjected to.

You and Tobirama are in the same house, preparing and waiting for the wedding to commence, and yet, he still feels so faraway.

At this point, just seeing his hand might even light you on fire.

You honestly cannot wait.

Your heart thuds in anticipation, as you wait with Mito at the entrance of a hallway that you are supposed to walk through. You know that Tobirama is doing the same at the other side with his brother, and the two of you will meet in the middle, in front of the altar, and where the rest of the clan members and a select few are invited, waiting to witness the wedding.

It has been agreed on that the wedding will be quiet, but the celebration will be a pompous one. However, the attention paid to the details are hard to miss. Your robes are white with gold stitches running up and down to make a few elegant cranes, no doubt commissioned from the best seamstresses in the village. The decorations are surreal, with colorful flowers lining your path, or curling up the posts holding, and from here, you can glimpse at the altar, which is situated under an arc of tree branches braided into one another.

Small doves fly past your heads, signalling you to start walking. To your left, Tobirama also begins to walk, mirroring you.

You synchronize your steps with him, and slowly, you are facing each other and walking towards each other. You finally meet him, and he is only a step away.

Tobirama stares straight at you, his focus only on you. His face is as composed as he likes to present it, but his eyes are brimming with a storm. You meet them dead on, because come what may, you are like a rock, unmoving and powerful enough to break apart crashing waves.

Two of Tobirama’s nephews come forward, bringing three cups of sake on each porcelain tray. The priest at the altar comes forward, wearing his ceremonial robes, and he begins to speak.

Funny enough, most of it falls deaf to your ears until Tobirama is staring at you with disbelief, no doubt preparing to lecture you in your own private time.

Tobirama takes the first cup of sake meant for you and hands it to you, and you accept meekly.

The priest holds out his hands towards the cup. “As you take a sip of this cup, do you promise to honor each other, to fight for one another and to be each other’s advocate?”

“I do,” Tobirama says, his voice rings in the air, though he only said it in his strict and quiet tone.

“I do.”

And the two of you drink the cup.

You take the second cup, as did Tobirama.

“Do you promise to let go of your past in order to forge a new path for your future, to set aside differences and grow with each other, and learn to be compassionate and open to each other?”

“I do.”

“These last cups–” the priest gestures, and then he picks the last cups up. Then, he pours them between the ground between the two of you and hands them back to you. “–symbolizes you as individuals. Today, you are now one.”

The priest re-fills the cups to the brim.

“For as long as you are one, your cups shall never empty. Never will you walk alone again, and burden yourself with the throes of life on your own. You are man and wife, woman and husband, a union of equals as of this moment from now on.”

You and Tobirama drink the last cup, and set it down on the trays.

“Until death do you part,” the priest concludes.

“Until death do us part,” Tobirama repeats, and you do the same. You stare into his eyes, completely enthralled.

The priest takes Tobirama’s hand and yours, and he joins them. “Now, let each other in by letting your power flow through each other.”

You close your eyes and gasp, as Tobirama’s chakra flows into your veins, and you feel him, in such an intimate way that you are moved to tears. Never had you let anyone inside you like this, not even those who are closest to you. Tobirama envelops you like kindled fire, and you are given a new sense of power. This must be what Mito had meant when she had said that she was able to give Hashirama more power.

You do the same with Tobirama, and he grips your hand as he lets you in.

Then, you open your eyes, completely energized. It is like you are seeing a whole new world.

“It is finished,” the priest announces, and the audience, which you have forgotten about explodes with applause.

The rest of the Senju clan follows you and your new husband to Hashirama’s house, where the celebration of your wedding will commence. The procession goes through and around the village, a procession worthy of the Shodaime Hokage's brother. People look on and cheer, some throw flowers, rice or beads, and children dance around the streets. Claps and sounds of joy erupt from every corner of the village, and your heart catches at your throat.

Mito was right when she told you there wasn’t much to celebrate in their family in a while. Your family now.

Beside you in the carriage, Tobirama is not exactly stiff, but is not exactly relaxed either. It seems like he is expecting somebody to come jump at him any moment now, but he is not trying to make it obvious. You glance at him, debating whether you should grab his hand but there is no need to ponder anymore when you find his hand inching towards yours, and then winding his fingers through yours.

You hear Tobirama sigh in relief, and you smile softly. Like in the wedding ceremony, you feel his chakra intertwine with yours and you close your eyes from the sensation. It is something so new but so familiar at the same time. You spend the rest of the ride in silence, and when the carriage stops, Tobirama gets off first, and then waits for you outside.

As you begin to step down, he grabs you by the waist and lowers you to the ground.

Pretty soon, the two of you are lost in the background music and the chatters of the people. It is a huge party, almost everyone is invited or passing through to get food and to congratulate the newlyweds.

You get rid of your heavy headdresses and opt for a simple style that keeps the hair away from your face. You did not want to injure your neck any further.

You stick close to Tobirama, your husband , knowing that if you leave his side, he will get very agitated or retreat into himself.

Husband , you think with a smile. It is such a new word, but something that feels just right when you are near Tobirama.

Even though it is also his day, he does not generally do well in huge, loud crowds. As a shinobi having a gift for sensory abilities, too many people in his space gets him overwhelmed too quickly, especially when he loosens up. You know that Tobirama is skilled and being around his brother who seems to have an endless reserve of chakra has honed his sensory skills, but there are too many incoming noises and smells and there are just too many colors and lights around him.

"Let’s get out of here," you suggest to Tobirama.

Tobirama glances around, hesitation clouding his features. "This party is for us."

You hold back a smile. Of course, you know that he will commit to this event until the end, but you can sense his growing discomfort.

You lean closer, and Tobirama stiffens, pulling his arms closer to his body.

“You okay?” You ask. You reach out to his arm and you squeeze it. Your hand barely compares to his arm.

Tobirama nods, but you know that he is only like this for you. You have learned long ago that his sincerity goes way beyond his words and that makes you fall in love with him even deeper. A long time ago, you would have never seen how considerate he is, but you have learned to look within.

So, you do what you have to do.

“Don’t we have to travel after this?” You continue, and then you smile. “I can hardly wait for you to take me on our wedding bed.”

Tobirama’s eyes widen in alarm and he looks around, clearly embarrassed. “Stop being ridiculous.”

You raise an eyebrow, and you purposely make your voice louder. “So no taking me–”

Tobirama grabs your arm, and all the noise around you abruptly ends and the atmosphere quiets.

Your husband slowly lets go of you, and you turn to him with a smile.

“Eager, aren’t you?” You tease him.

“You need to stop doing that,” Tobirama chastises, but you hear his embarrassment through his posturing annoyance.

You grin cheekily, having accomplished your goal to get him to a much quieter place. You look around and you realize that you are inside the house that will be your new home after you return from your honeymoon. The house is still bare of what makes it a home for the two of you, since your things need to be moved here, but there are already furniture and ornaments around, probably a courtesy of Hashirama. He has been spending worrying amounts of money these days.

You take a deep breath, and it dawns to you that you are really alone with Tobirama and you suddenly feel shy. The atmosphere between the two of you is not exactly awkward, but it seems like the both of you are out of words at the moment.

“I do not know how to do this,” Tobirama murmurs quietly after a long time of looking anywhere but each other.

You detect a slight quiver in his voice.

You, being you, of course, in order to lift up the serious moment cracks a joke. “What? The consummation part?” You ask. “Contrary to popular belief, I also do not know how.”

Tobirama stares at you, unimpressed.

You smile sheepishly and then you quiet down to let silence descend upon the two of you. Tobirama takes his time stringing his words together, and you watch his face, picking up on the subtle twitches and softening.

“I will not be the best husband, nor be the best man for you,” Tobirama starts, his voice low and like velvet to your ears. “But I will do everything I can to protect you and to provide for you. I will do right by you, this I promise with all my life.”

You press a hand on his chest, and you look up into his eyes. “And I promise that I will take care of you, and stand by your side even if the world turns on you. I will be there, no matter what.”

Tobirama winds an arm around your waist and pulls you closer. Then he lifts you up, until you are sharing the same breath as him. He looks down at your lips, and you watch his pretty, white eyelashes flutter.

“Until death do us part,” he murmurs so tenderly that it nearly melts your heart.

You meet those sincere, red eyes. You notice how unguarded he looks. This is truly the first time you have seen him without any walls. It is quite rare, and you want to capture it in your mind forever.

“Until death do us part,” you say back to him, and you lean forward to steal his lips.

Tobirama freezes momentarily, but he overcomes it and he returns the kiss, even more passionately than you began it. He seizes your waist and pulls you even closer up to him, and he deepens the kiss further. Your chest against his fight for the space to expand, but air is not a necessity when you are desperately breathing him in, pulling him even closer into you.

You pull away, and Tobirama looks at you questioningly. He looks...almost soft.

“Come on, let’s check out our bedroom,” you murmur and you tug on the front of his clothes.

Tobirama looks away and he grips your waist.

You grab his hand to lead him forward and Tobirama plants his feet to the ground like a child unwilling to get up when throwing a tantrum.

“What?” You prompt, and Tobirama squeezes your hand. You look down at your joined hands and suppress a giggle. “We’re married now, aren’t we? We have to get to the best part.”

Tobirama glares at you. “Stop making fun of me.”

“You signed up for it,” you retort.

Tobirama looks peeved. “That’s fair.”

“Now, come on,” you smile beguilingly, and when you drag him towards the direction of your new bedroom, he follows willingly.

To be continued...

Chapter 3 - Love Like You >>

#angelica writes #Tobirama Senju #Senju Tobirama #'til death do us part #tobirama x reader #tobirama x you #you never said goodbye timeline/au

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colonel-kira-nerys · 4 years ago

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More Thoughts on “A Matter of Perspective”

Content Warning: Discussion of Attempted Rape and Domestic Violence

Since my list of episodes with themes of sexual assault and other upsetting content has been making the rounds again, “A Matter of Perspective” has been weighing on my mind.

Even all these years after watching this episode for the first time, it still upsets me more than almost any other episode in the Star Trek canon, so I just wanted to expand a little bit more on why it’s so distressing, while there are still people possibly interested in hearing my thoughts.

The following is an in-depth look at “A Matter of Perspective,” which may be upsetting to some people, so I’m putting my analysis beneath the cut. Please let me know what you think, because I still feel the need to scream into the void about this 30 years after it aired.

“A Matter of Perspective” (TNG: Season 3, Episode 14), at first glance, has an incredibly intriguing premise. The opener is Data critiquing Picard’s sub-par painting skills (talk about tone problems... Jesus) and then Riker beams back to the Enterprise after spending the night at an alien space station, where he was supposed to be checking up on the progress of a scientist named Dr. Apgar.

But upon beaming back, the entire space station explodes. Riker acts surprised and clueless as to how this would’ve happened. Whenever he’s asked about what happened on the station, he gets cagey, even before the trial starts.

It’s clear he’s hiding something, so when an alien Inspector beams aboard asking for Riker’s arrest and extradition, the audience is prepared for it, because we know that something must’ve happened.

Then, when he’s accused of murdering the scientist and blowing up the station, there becomes the issue of who has jurisdiction over the crime. Does the Enterprise have the right to hold the trial on board, or should Riker be released into the custody of the Tenugan Investigator, Crag?

It’s important to note that I’m not coming at this from a place of hatred, in the sense that I wasn’t looking for something wrong. I thoroughly believed this was about to be a BRILLIANT episode, with lots of moral ambiguity and intrigue.

Boy, was I wrong.

The two sides (Starfleet vs. Tenugan) eventually settle on recreating the events of Riker’s time on the station via the Holodeck. THIS WAS SO COOL. I wish all crimes were able to be recreated, down to the tiniest detail, through a simulation. I thoroughly looked forward to seeing the detective work being conducted through simulations, but only because I had no idea that Riker was also going to be accused of attempted rape. I went into this completely blind.

Riker gets the first word in the trial, which I think was a gross miscarriage of justice, because he is the one being accused of the crime--of course he’s going to deny it!!! Why would you let the Defense make their case first...?!

It prejudices Captain Picard to see Riker’s story first, because he’s already more likely to be believed and protected by his own captain. It also prejudices Deanna Troi--whose presence/function during the trial, by the way, is never explained. As far as I can tell, she’s there to be a lie-detector, which is hilarious in its absurdity, because she can “sense no deception” from either Will or Dr. Apgar’s wife, Manua.

I guarantee you if the attempted rape had been shown first, this episode would’ve had a completely different tone, and that is part of the problem.

Manua, after all, is the one who requires justice, not only for her husband, but also for herself. Although, at this point in the episode, we don’t even know that she’s accusing him of sexual assault, because the Inspector didn’t charge him with that crime from the beginning.

In a way, this was a great tactic to get Riker to hang himself with his own words---with his own testimony---but because every Starfleet officer in the room is already prejudiced, that’s not how the episode plays out.

In Riker’s version of events, he is cold, robotic, and professional to a fault (as in, he seems completely uninterested in pleasantries, or, you know, doing his job with any sense of diplomacy). He makes it very clear from the beginning that he’s uninterested in Mrs. Apgar’s hospitality and just wants to get to work.

Note: why would it be important for Riker to assert with his whole heart from the very beginning that he wasn’t interested in Manua, unless he knew that Manua was going to make a claim that in his view ‘wasn’t true’?! He acts SO SURPRISED that Manua would view his advances as attempted rape, and yet, here’s the thing: we know that Riker is a fan of the ladies, so what some might see as “innocent” sexual banter could’ve been attributed to his personality, if he’d shown us his usual charm in his version of events. We expect this of him--to be a bit cocky and sensual. We might not like it, but we know that he’s a playboy, in the kindest interpretation of the word. So, as you’re watching his version of events, most people would find it strange that he would refuse hospitality from someone, because Riker has always been “up for anything” as they say.

Instead of admitting that he might have given Manua the wrong impression by flirting with her, he makes himself out to be cold and unfeeling, in order to preserve an image of cool professionalism that we as the audience know isn’t true to his character.

So, any attempts at hospitality on the part of Manua are immediately spurned by Riker, even those that seem to be genuinely a part of social graces that are indigenous to populations everywhere, not just this alien one. “Can I get you a drink?” isn’t meant to be sexual, in most cultures. This is the bare minimum requirement of a hostess, to ask if anyone needs a refreshment, and yet, Riker makes it clear that this was the start of her sexual overtures... because he needs to cover his tracks. Manua explains later, in her own version of events, that she was worried her husband’s antisocial behavior might negatively impact Riker’s report, and so it was important to make him feel welcome--hence, the drink.

According to Riker, he made hotel arrangements down on the planet for Geordi and himself, but Manua insists that they stay in the guest bedrooms instead. I know Geordi is needed for the science fiction subplot, but why isn’t he in the room to confirm or deny at least this part of Riker’s story? Can’t this specific assertion be easily fact-checked? Even alien hotels presumably have a record of reservations. Like, if Riker was telling the truth, this bit is easily provable, though I would argue that just because he made other arrangements doesn’t mean he didn’t change his mind when he saw the opportunity to have sex. My point is, why is no actual detective work done to confirm the facts of Riker’s story...?

Anyway, according to Riker, Manua then tries to seduce him once they’re alone in his guest quarters. Mr. Apgar walks in on them in a compromising position, and here’s something I failed to address in my earlier breakdown of the episode: At first, Apgar isn’t angry at Riker; he’s angry at his wife.

He says: “I knew I’d find you with him. Did you think I didn’t notice how you looked at him? I’m not the fool you take me for.” AND THEN HE BACKHANDS HER, HARD, ACROSS THE FACE.

Her husband attacks her, by Riker’s own admission, and then, only after doing that, does Mr. Apgar try (and fail) to hit Riker, too. But it’s clear his wife was the person he wanted to spend his anger on.

In all versions of this story, Mr. Apgar tries to hit Riker. That’s 100% consistent. But in Riker’s version, Apgar makes a point to “punish” his wife first. Why? This is important, because no matter which of the three versions is true, Manua is either a victim of domestic violence or of sexual assault.

Now, you can argue that Tayna wouldn’t have included Apgar hitting his wife in her statement, because Mr. Apgar is her boss, and you can also argue that Manua excluded the fact that her husband hit her from her own testimony in order to appear as though their marriage was better than it was, but why on earth would Riker feel the need to add this, if it weren’t true? Why add the assault of a woman by her husband, unless to show that this man was a “bad guy” compared to his much more “honorable” actions...?

Why isn’t this addressed? In all versions of events, Manua is physically assaulted, but only in Riker’s version does her husband slap her hard enough to nearly make her fall. I believe Riker over Tayna (the Assistant) on this specific count, because, frankly, her version is hearsay, told to her by her boss, and it’s very clear that Mr. Apgar was lying to Tayna when he claimed to beat the crap out of Riker.

So, it’s more than likely that Mr. Apgar did indeed hit his wife, if we look at it from the lens of what it makes sense for Riker to lie about, and what it doesn’t. The “beating” was taken by Manua, and not Riker, in the truest version of this story, which has to be somewhere in the middle of all of the versions, apparently.

Apgar might’ve changed this part of the story when telling it to Tayna to save face with her. Also, I don’t know who, besides her, could possibly believe that Apgar won a fistfight against Riker.

Regardless, why would he insist his wife and assistant be transported off the space station unless 1) he believed Riker was a sexual predator and/or 2) he wanted no witnesses to what he was about to do next.

[Note: This episode was heavily inspired by Rashomon, a Japanese film which explores the retelling of the same events by multiple characters, in which everyone shows their “ideal self” by lying. In that story, however, the wife is actually raped. Like, there’s no “matter of perspective” claiming she didn’t get raped. The “perspective” change only offers different ways the rape could’ve happened, and how the characters involved all acted after the rape changes from person to person. The murder is treated as the more important issue in that movie, too, because misogyny.]

Why bring up Rashomon? Because the writers should never have changed this part of the story to imply the attempted rape didn’t happen. They shouldn’t have adapted it in such a way that the main goal is to cast doubt on the assault of the woman; they should’ve committed to the assault happening, but three people telling it three different ways, so that at no point is the story trying to tell us that rape is “a matter of perspective,” but rather that the undeniable rape itself was seen by three different people in three different lights.

I think this episode could’ve been a meaningful exploration of the issue that men often don’t perceive their dogged pursuit of women as predatory, especially when the woman in question eventually “submits.” This could’ve been a story about how Riker didn’t realize he had as much power over Mr. Apgar’s scientific research (and by extension, Manua’s life) as he did. Manua and Apgar were completely dependent on Riker’s glowing report, and it’s made very clear in Manua’s version of events that she felt she couldn’t just excuse herself from the situation entirely, because her husband’s research was at stake.

This episode could’ve shown us how a “good” man, with a somewhat oblivious understanding of his power, could still abuse his power over a woman with regard to her ability to consent... but no. They immediately try to paint Manua as a lying seductress rather than a rape victim.

Here’s the thing: Manua’s version is the only one where her character has a clear motivation to testify against Riker. If this were only about her husband’s death, her testimony would be mostly irrelevant, because she obviously wasn’t there when it happened. And, if she had tried to seduce Riker, she wouldn’t need to “cry rape” to solidify Riker’s motive to kill her husband--he already had motive, which was Apgar’s threat to report his promiscuous conduct to Starfleet. Making a false accusation of rape doesn’t benefit her in any way. Not to mention it clearly traumatized her to recount it. She had to excuse herself by the end of it.

Another reason it doesn’t make sense for Manua to lie about the attempted rape is simply that she didn’t know the true nature of her husband’s research. The show missteps here, too, by making it so clear that she was in the dark about it, because if they hadn’t done that, they could’ve argued that she lied as a red herring to distract the Starfleet officers from discovering that her husband was making a weapon. But no!! Both she and Tayna had no idea that Dr. Apgar was making a weapon, and therefore that had no bearing on the rape accusation. So, the writers make absolutely no effort to explain what possible motivation Manua could’ve had for lying---because there isn’t one!!

Even in the original script, it says that Manua’s version of events characterizes Riker in a much more believable way:

(And it’s important to note that in this take on the story, Riker’s attitude is less aloof and formal. He's relaxed and charming. In fact, in some ways he is more like the Riker we know and love.)

Moreover, Deanna Troi, who canonically is supposed to be able to tell when people are lying, can sense no deception from Manua. Not that you should need an empath in the room to believe a woman when she says that someone tried to rape her. But putting that aside, the fact that there is an empath–who is compromised to begin with because of her relationship with Riker–and she believes Manua’s presentation of the events... that alone is some pretty damning evidence.

If Manua feels as though Riker tried to harm her–feels it so strongly that Deanna empathically senses that she is telling the truth–it shouldn’t matter what Riker thinks of the accusation. Assuming Riker really does believe his version of events, and Manua believes hers, why are the writers making such an effort to both discredit and support the truth of Manua’s testimony at the same time...?

And, just in case your blood isn’t boiling yet, there’s this:

Michael Piller recalled that the episode was "probably the hardest story to break. It was a technical nightmare for the director. I was very, very, happy with the script and I thought the show was disappointing. I guess it didn't translate properly. It was very ambitious, but the casting was off. If you had put Lana Turner in the role of the woman in that show, you would have understood it all – but I don't think it played as it was intended.

Y’all... this FUCKING ASSHOLE claims that the real reason the episode didn’t work was because of the casting of the wife. He believes that people would’ve “understood it all” if Lana Turner, a sex symbol and famous pin-up model, had played the role.

What he’s saying is: if the wife had been sexier, a walking pin-up, the audience would’ve understood the episode better, but because the actress playing her was... what? too average-looking? too demure? people “didn’t get it?”

This has the terrible implication that he thinks the rape story wasn’t as believable because the actress playing Manua wasn’t hot enough. Think about that for two seconds and tell me you don’t want to shoot this guy in the balls.

This could’ve been a meaningful exploration of how Riker didn’t realize he took advantage of Manua; in his mind, she was willing, but in hers, she thought she had to have sex with him or else it would negatively effect his report on her husband’s research. It could’ve been a commentary on how a man can abuse his power without meaning to--without even realizing he has it--and that, if the woman then feels violated, it’s still an assault, even if she eventually gave in and appeared to “consent.”

This episode should’ve been about Riker not realizing he’d coerced a woman, and so he truly believes he’s innocent. But no, instead it becomes a situation in which there is no possible way there was a middle ground between the two accounts. Manua’s testimony is so clearly an assault, there could be no way Riker interpreted her begging him to stop as seduction.

In conclusion, this episode goes out of its way to make it seem like rape victims are liars who can’t be trusted. Keeping in mind this was 30 years ago, I just want to end by saying: according to the United States Justice Department, only approximately 2% of all rape complaints are false, while almost three out of every four rapes go unreported. We need to stop perpetuating the lie that women often “cry rape.” Statistically speaking, they don’t.

If you made it through all of this, I would love to know your thoughts on my analysis, if you have a moment to spare to share them.

#will riker #jonathan frakes #star trek: TNG #tng #rape tw

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lawonderlandwriter · 5 years ago

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So here is all that has happened and all that I know and all of my thoughts on this intra-ship-tag war. For anyone who cares to read.

I hadn't written a new fic in a while. Not since Season 8 was airing, so I was not really aware of what was going on until one fic in particular where Jon has an abusive past, started getting negative attention. Most people will know which fic I’m talking about (for the purposes of this post, I’ll refer to it as FIC1).

I had come across the fic randomly and skimmed it, deciding it seemed interesting and I would read it fully when I had the chance. Then I saw the hate the fic was getting and I read it fully immediately. I thought the fic was incredibly well written and wasn’t in any way a Jon-hate fic. Some parts of the fic I even was a tiny bit uncomfortable for the way it portrayed Dany, but I was too interested to let those parts get to me and I have since kept up with it and plan to read it until it’s conclusion.

When I saw the hate on FIC1, I posted about it. How I thought the fic didn’t deserve the hate it was getting and how I thought people were casting judgement without really reading it, just commenting based on what they had heard about it and the author.

This got me some hate but I stood by my fellow author.

This was when I first heard of the “Discord” group.

Everything I knew about the discord was hearsay as I am not and have never been involved in it. I heard the discord was all men who stanned Jon Snow and hate-commented on any fic they didn't like and had been policing the tag since basically the S8 finale. As I had seen hate comments on fics with my own eyes, I had no reason to question this.

Especially when fics began showing up in the tag of Dany getting raped in response to each time FIC1 would update. Comments on those fics were sarcastic and crude and supportive. I have never used A03 as a social media platform so I was not and still am not very familiar with usernames.

More accusations flew around that those responsible for these fics and fics that plagairised FIC1 stemmed from the Discord. I had no reason to believe otherwise (but I also had no reason to believe it was all Discord people either which I should not have so readily believed).

More fics were posted by authors I read and respect and more hate was flung around. Again, the Discord was blamed, perhaps* wrongly. My prejudice against this supposed discord group grew.

Then I started writing “Queens Always Have the Last Word” (QAHTLW). At first, the response was positive - everyone seemingly hates Sansa. A few complained I wasn’t changing Jon’s general S8 demeanor which annoyed me. I had made it perfectly clear in the tags that the story would focus on Dany - and I had already written a fic for Jon where he was the star and got the last word. This was her turn.

I did not and still do not consider it a Jon-hate fic or that the fic is an attack on Jon’s character in any way. I kept Jon essentially close to his S8 self but added a bit more to him - additions I thought were positive.

But my fic was somehow labeled “Jon Snow hate.”

Some people in comments on my and other fics have said something about S8 fics being “serious” fics, hence why I guess my QAHTLW was labeled “Jon hate.”

For one, this to me this seemed an incredibly arbitrary rule and it still seems incredibly arbitrary. That S8 fics HAVE to be “serious”. Why is it just S8 fics?

For those wondering, my understanding of a “serious” fic is a fic that HAS to feature Jon and Dany as being 100% equal to each other and the narrative HAS to treat them as 100% equal and be kind to both of them.

If a fic is not considered “serious”, it is okay for Jon and Dany to not be 100% equal or treated equal by the narrative - one example of “non-serious” fics in the Jonerys A03 tag were harem fics.

At least, that’s what I’ve been told by commenters - harem fics are okay to be in the Jonerys tag on A03 (even though they are incredibly unequal in regards of who gets to sleep with who) because apparently “no one takes them seriously.”

This is what I have been told: “No one takes harem fics seriously.”

So, because of this new standard set forth by people who either had been policing the tag, or people trying to explain the motives behind people policing the tag, a line became drawn.

Those of us who don’t write or read harem fics, we (I, rather, but others likely as well) began to see this line as “Jon Snow stans” and “Daenerys stans”. Because it’s highly unlikely many Dany fans would want to read fics where Jon just gets to smash everyone in ASOIAF.

So then I had a pretty damning encounter with someone in the comments of Chapter 4 of QAHTLW. The hate started off right out the gate:

This comment was a lot of things at once. 1) It cemented for me this weird divide between “Tumblr” (“Tumblrinas” as some call us) writers and “others” (I assumed all the “others” were Discord users). 2) It cemented for me that all the “others” were exclusively Jon fans, due to the accusation here that I don’t care about Jon, and 3) it was the first time I had been told to literally stop writing and leave to community.

I reacted immediately. The encounter was petty (yes, I was petty too, fully admit it) and went on for several comments. Then my hate commenter responded with this:

I had seen that “reeeeeeee” before. Just a day before actually, here on Tumblr. It wasn't a post of mine, but a response to one of my mutual’s posts. The person who reblogged with the “reeeeeeeee” comment left a nasty note about Dany going crazy - it was clearly a comment meant to be offensive to Dany stans. I reblogged said post and blocked the user who had made the “reeeeee” comment.

So because my hate commenter on A03 used the same language as the Tumblr reblogger, I called him out on it, thinking I knew who he was. We went back and forth on that for another round of comments, and then he sent me this:

1) The user claims he is not the same person from Tumblr, 2) he admits to being in the “Discord” group, 3) He admits the Tumblr user I had blocked posts things from Tumblr to share with the Discord group for the purposes of making fun of us, and 4) he admits to using a “throwaway” account on A03 in order to avoid being banned by the site, should his comments get reported.

Because of this encounter, I felt I had enough information to pass blanket judgement on the Discord group. To me, because of this person’s comments, the Discord was a place where male Jon Snow fans hung out and talked shit about Dany stans from Tumblr.

And because this person had said things from Tumblr were shared (and laughed at) on the Discord, and because the very next day I posted a link on my Tumblr to QAHTLW, I felt I had made a connection.

To me, it seemed like this hate comment stemmed from the Discord and was encouraged because of my reblogging of the Tumblr post.

These comments on my fic felt like retaliation for something that had happened on Tumblr.

It felt calculated. It felt systematic. It felt purposeful. It felt really fucking creepy.

I reported it to A03.

A little while after the encounter, I got a final comment from this person. He had deleted his “throwaway” account and whatever other account he had been using, leaving me this on anon:

While I did think him a jerk for all the things he had said, I can respect this. Thank you whoever you are for realizing you were being a bully. My comments to you were rude as well, I know.

But he admitted his fault in instigating the argument and said he would stop. So, I can only say, respect.

Still, though one person had left this “tag policing” behind, it had opened a can of worms. Again, he had admitted to the discord sharing and laughing at shit from Tumblr. And so far as I knew, he only found my fic because of the Discord (may or may not be true, but that’s how it came across to me at the time).

My view of the Discord was lowered further.

Then, another "problematic” Jonerys fic was posted. We’ll call this FIC2.

I didn’t think anything of it, honestly. I really, seriously didn’t.

It was by an author I love to death so naturally, anything she writes, I excitedly reblog. Which I did. I didn't do so with any kind of snide remark, I wasn’t thinking about the fic’s treatment of Jon (because I didn’t think the fic would treat Jon badly...and it didn’t), I didn’t think about the other characters this fic involved. Nothing.

I was seriously just fucking reblogging a fic from a friend, and then of course left a generic “loved it, this was hot!” comment on the fic on A03.

And I got hate for that. Surprise Surprise:

This is two comments from, I’m assuming, two different users. Both were on anon. Once again, we were called “Tumblrinas”.

But a new level to this creepiness was added.

Someone started using my name on A03 as their anon name.

(The above comment thread has since been deleted but I screenshot it before the delete because I wanted to report to A03 - using someone else’s name and/or misrepresenting another user is very much in violation of A03s Terms of Service).

So that was the first fic this happened on but this person from FIC2 has since been going on all kinds of Jonerys fics on A03 leaving more comments, calling himself “LAStoryWriterAlex’s Rules and Regulations Enforcer.”

This was on another “problematic” fic (I won’t call it Jon hate because FFS it’s NOT Jon hate!):

Along with leaving a sarcastic remark about how I and my “crew of miscreants” apparently have now made a rule that “you can only leave praise in comments”, this person also called the fic he was commenting on “garbage”. So, rude.

Then he left this on a RAPE fic:

He did not call the RAPE fic “garbage” and even used “please” and “thank you”.

Because this all seemed to stem from my reblog of FIC2 on Tumblr, I again assumed that this person, my “rules and regulations enforcer,” was from the Discord and had only seen my reblog of FIC2 because someone had snapshotted it and shown it to the Discord.

I admit, it was wrong of me to assume this. I have no way of knowing if this person is from the Discord or not. But because of my last encounter, and as this was another thing that seemed to start from Tumblr, this is what I assumed.

Then I posted my Dandry fic, Retrograde.

You all know what happened with that.

In all honesty, I didn't write this to “piss off the incels”. (I also apologize for calling the entire Discord incels. I now know a few of you and realize this was a mistake). I wrote this fic because the idea came to me, it excited me, and once I started writing, I couldn’t stop. I was having fun with it. I’ve never shipped Dany/Gendry before, but since 8x04, this fic was always an idea in the back of my mind and I himhawed with writing it, mostly because I was busy with other things, but I worked on it. And when I got the first chapter done I posted.

And all hell broke loose.

At first I had anon commenting enabled, but then disabled it because I just couldn’t fucking take it. It was exhausting.

I got kind comments, I got neutral comments, I got rude comments, I got people arguing with each other in the comments, and then I got just fucked up comments -

Comments about me, my family, my weight:

In short, my parents should have aborted me brutally, my mother is a dirty whore, I’m cancer (not the zodiac sign I’m guessing), and I’m allegedly fat.

I admit, the fat one got to me. I’m not fat, never have been overweight. But I do occasionally obsess about my weight, so that one got a reaction from me and I know, I know it shouldn’t have. But I made note anyway, of the fact that all my profiles are linked and there are pics of me in existence online that prove I’m not fat - I wanted to prove I’m not fat. My vanity got the better of me and so invited people to find pictures of me. Which had certain consequences I’ll discuss in a moment.

I also got fucked up comments about Gendry and Dany - Dany in that apparently she’s a whore, and Gendry because he’s an uneducated bastard. Which, way to go elitist scum. I really don’t feel bad about saying that. These comments are elitist and misogynistic. Really makes me wonder what people would think of Jon if the show hadn’t made him legitimate. Would they all still stan him then? Do they only like him because he was heir to the throne??

Anyway, that as just the first two pages! (There were more supportive comments than not - I think) but there are now 8 pages of comments. So you can only guess what the rest of those 8 pages contain.

I got all kinds of anons on Tumblr because of this. Some who supported my fic - thank you - and others who spewed the same kind of drivel from A03. I’m a whore, cunt, dumb bitch, awful writer, etc.

Then, because I had exposed myself and made note of all my profiles being linked (which I had initially done so friendly A03 people could find my Tumblr if they didn’t already connect the two), I started getting anons commenting on, of all things, my fucking forehead, which apparently is larger than normal? Whatever, fuck you, I think I’m adorable, so there.

I got an anon recently talking about the connection myself and others had made between the Discord and the revenge rape fics.

I agreed with anon in my response, that it was wrong for me to blame the Discord for fics like the beastiality fic in the tag. I pointed out however, that people were not attacking that writer the way they’ve been attacking me and others.

Again, it was wrong of me to assume all people in the Discord were leaving the hate comments. I admit that and I apologize for it.

But I have proof (above) that at least one of the people policing the tag was from the Discord. And I have since had reason to believe some in the Discord still police the tag and do so quite hatefully.

I was thinking about this most recent anon a lot since I got it and answered it. And then today when I was cursing the tag...

I came across one of the Modern Targcest fics.

And I saw red.

I clicked on the A03 “Collection” and skimmed through. Many of the fics were ones I had already seen/skimmed or read. But looking at the collection as a whole, I got an impression of the tag.

And yes, I admit, my impression did not apply to all fics. And even the fics it did apply to, I should have never called out.

I wanted to make a point, and I went about it the wrong way.

The point I had wanted to make was that all the people policing the tag were hypocrites because these DubCon fics (some are less consensual than others) had relatively low engagement compared to my fic which was 100% consensual.

This still is something that bothers me, honestly, though it is through no fault of the authors of these DubCon fics.

I just really hate that those fics are left relatively in peace and a fic like mine is not. Do I want those fics to get more hate? No. I just want the hate on mine and others like it to stop.

But I did go about it the wrong way.

Certain people felt I misrepresented certain fics when I made THIS post. I roped all the fics into one category, and made an assumption about them all and that was wrong.

Also, some people thought by making this post, I was saying that these authors “like” rape or are real life rape apologists, which was not my intention either.

I still believe some of these fics are on a rape-spectrum. I’m sorry, that’s just what DubCon is. Not all of these DubCon fics are rapey, but some of them are.

And it’s fine if that’s what you want to write and read. Really, it is. As I’ve stated, fanfic is a SAFE place for people to explore taboos, like rape and incest. Just because we read and write about it, doesn’t mean we would ever do it in real life. In fic, it’s fine though.

And I apologize if my post came off as kink-shaming. Not my intention.

Again, my intention was merely to point out the discrepancy in reaction to these fics because to me, a DubCon fic is more problematic than a cheating fic. My opinion. You may not share my opinion.

Really my intention here was for people to realize that, if you can turn a blind eye to DubCon (something I find pretty problematic), then you should also be able to spare the same courtesy to other fics, like cheating, cuck, or “Jon Snow hate fics” - (and it’s always someone’s opinion whether or not the fic is truly Jon Snow hate).

If Dany fans can make it through the tag without commenting on some of the more extreme DubCon fics, and through the Harem fics, then Jon Snow fans should be able to make it through the tag without commenting on the cheating and the cuck fics. (and if Jon Snow fans can pass the harem fics and not think anything of them and not hate comment, they should be able to pass by the cuck fics too!!) - cuz I don’t want people to assume I’m accusing all Jon fans of liking those harem fics. Probably many of you don’t. But if you’ve left hate on a cuck fic, but not a harem fic, that’s hypocritical. It really is.

If you’ve policed the tag and harassed an author for “punishing” Jon in their fic telling the author that they’re not really a Jon fan or not really a Jonerys fan, but you haven’t done the same in a harem (or similar) fic and stuck up for say, Dany, claiming the author isn’t a real Dany/Jonerys fan, you’re a hypocrite.

Because as I’ve pointed out, Jon and Dany aren’t at all treated the same or equal in those kinds of fics.

This isn't to say those fics are wrong, or shouldn’t be written, or don’t belong in the tag. It’s just to say if you give them a pass, you must also give a pass to everyone else.

You can’t just pick and choose which “unequal” Jonerys fics are allowed and which aren’t.

Which S8 fix-it-fics are allowed and which aren’t.

Which fics are “serious” and which are “non-serious”. (Many of the harem/breeding fics have Jon/Dany as the main pairing!)

Which are written by “real” Jonerys fans and which aren’t.

You don’t get to just make shit up.

Yes, some Dany stans are angry at Jon and want to punish him in their fics for S8 and make him sit by and watch while Dany hooks up with Daario or resurrected Drogo or Gendry or whoever.

Some Jon stans want Jon to breed Missandei and Sansa while still being married to Dany because they want to make Dany barren in their narrative even though in actual ASOIAF canon, she’s probably not.

It’s called, Deal with it.

Again, no one here is on the “right” side. No one should be policing the tag. Period.

Also, side note, no one should be insulting authors looks or using the public photos authors use as a way to harass them. This isn’t only happening to me. If we post photos of our lives, it’s because we want to share with people. It’s not an invitation for you to use that against us. Don’t be fucking creepy. And if you know if someone being fucking creepy, tell them to stop!

#I think my rant is done #Did I cover everything?#are people going to come after me with pitchforks for this one too?#fandom wank #over it

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princesscatherinemiddleton · 5 years ago

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Have you even been to Cora’s page? She is a tinhat and reblog and supports tinhats ideals. Smh. Dissapointed, so much for Positivity while they spew garbage at Archie and Meghan’s

Congratulations on being the first person to complain about a POSITIVITY project!

I’m very stressed and I’ve just had a job interview and I’m answering this to distract me so I will probably be a bitch #JustSoYouAreWarned

1) I began this project in August. Most of the images were made before August 15th. Bar a few edits, every post I have made or queued so far were queued in advance before the end of September

2) When I made and queued this post, I looked over Cora’s blog (like I do everyone’s). Now, I had to make a decision - would I include every blog or just blogs I like? Where is my cut off point? Do I not include anti-Kate blogs because I like Kate? I decided that I would try to include every blog, regardless of who they like, unless I found them dangerous or damaging. At the time, I found Cora’s blog neither of those things

3) I looked over Cora’s blog again after getting this message. It is clear and obvious she does not like Harry and Meghan. She reblogs from people I don’t like and I have already decided won’t be included in this project because they “spew garbage”. Despite this, I don’t think she fits the damaging and dangerous guidelines.

4) On one of her recent posts, Cora stated some of her opinions. She said Meghan has stopped trying to be “shy Di” and is taking the lead and that’s a good thing. I don’t like the “shy Di” rhetoric but it is a matter of opinion whether you think Meghan tried to mimic Diana in her early stages as a royal. I don’t think she did, but she very well might have done. She was an American in a new culture so why not model yourself on the most famous royal of recent times? Either way, Cora said she thinks Meghan doesn’t do this anymore and is taking the lead and is positive. She said Harry looked scruffy. That’s not damaging. It’s probably true. She said Archie is cute and adorable but they’re using him for PR. Archie is cute and adorable, glad we’re all agreed. I don’t think they’re using him for PR but I can see why people would think that. I have family and friends who don’t follow the royals and the general consensus is Meghan is spending tax payers money and using Archie to get goodwill, even from people who like Meghan. Again, I don’t agree with this. Point is, royals are pretty much saved or destroyed by their public opinion. At the moment, if Archie is helping the Sussexes, that’s a good thing. The Sussexes have had a run of PR disasters, why not use your cute kid to make people happy? I would. Cora also spoke about how Meghan and Harry are pushing for good PR. Duh. Of course they are. Every time a Royal is in public, they are doing things for PR. Meghan putting her name on the Together cookbook gave her good PR. Kate’s garden gave her good PR. Charles talking about his grandkids gives him good PR. It’s what they do.

5) I can’t not include people because they don’t like Meghan. I’ve included people who don’t like Kate, who hate Letizia, who think the Swedes are boring, who think certain royals are abusive... they are plenty of people in this fandom who are dangerous and contribute to the dangerous and negative rhetoric around Meghan and Archie but I don’t think Cora does

6) If I was making Cora’s post today, based on her most recent reblogs, I would not include her. I don’t think she would ever promote cruelty against Meghan, she just doesn’t like her or Harry. I hate Harry. People have opinions. I have gone through my queued posts and I removed one person because they reblogged an anti-Meghan post that I felt crossed a line

7) If I was looking for a purely positive blog on the royal fandom, no one would be included. Everyone in this fandom has favourites and dislikes some royals and says bad things because we’re human.

8) I won’t remove Cora. I thought about it but I don’t want to hide from my mistakes. I will say that I don’t agree with a lot of her opinions but I never said I did agree with them. I said she includes her name in her blog and helps the fandom by being a prolific reblogger. I didn’t say Cora is the fandom voice of reason on Meghan and we should all trust her. I don’t follow Cora, I never have. I won’t follow her. I don’t agree with her opinion on Meghan, surely that’s obvious.

If I ever do post someone who is dangerous, someone who is racist, maybe, or someone who says a royal-adjacent person is running a paedophile ring (cough cough), let me know. This is a positivity project. I want positivity. But I won’t go hunting in a blog to find something to “cancel” someone over. I don’t want to surround myself with hate.

I don’t have time to search through every blog. I barely have time for this project as it is. I genuinely regret starting it because now I can’t stop until I’ve covered everyone and that’s a lot of pressure because I’ve never stuck at anything in my life. I need people to tell me if I make a mistake but I want evidence. I won’t cancel people because of hearsay

#anon #answered #royalwatchercora #rfpp

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airacuddles · 4 years ago

Text

LABOR AND BIRTH STORY

This COVID 19 pandemic has caused a lot of inconvenience to the people. Especially to senior citizens, minors, persons with immunodeficiency, comorbidies, and health risks; and pregnant women. Above mentioned are at high risk in getting the virus.

Last October 3 on my prenatal check up, I was advised to get a swab test before I was due. As per hospital protocols, pregnant women should have a negative swab test result first before delivery. If not, mama and baby will be joined with other people (covid positive or not) upon delivery. This is just sad because we won't really know when a pregnant woman could deliver the baby.

My expected due date was November 7. But from hearsays, first babies are usually born later than expected due date. Just like Reynald's baby was. So I estimated to have the swab test scheduled on October 29 at Vicente Sotto for free. Obgyne's suggestions for swab were at APM mall near SM City Cebu and at UC Med Mandaue. But swab tests were costing 7k and 5k, respectively. Jeez. So much inconvenience.

The obgyne said she can only be there for her patients when admitted at St Vincent General Hospital. It is the only one of her three affiliated hospitals that does not accept Covid patients. So that's where we planned to get admitted.

I was also advised for prenatal visit on October 17. That was already my 37th week of pregnancy. I have searched that pregnanct mothers can already give a normal delivery at that week. The obgyne said she was also going to perform IE on me on that visit.

So on that day, I thought performing IE's would be thru a device inserted down there. Turns out, it was just pure fingering down there 😭 mind you, Jan and I havent had any contact all throughout the pregnancy. And right now, I am being fingered. It hurt. I felt virgin. Lols. But it did hurt 😂😭 like vaginal shock.

The doctor said my cervix was still closed. I need to have it opened already. The earlier the delivery, the better, so that the baby does not grow too much while inside the tummy, to avoid caesarean delivery. The doctor prescribed me Evening Prim Rose oil to help open up my cervix and expecting at least 1 cm opening by the next week.

The next week October 24, I visited the obgyne again. Cervix was still closed. She advised to double dose the primrose oil to be taken morning and night. I was advised again to visit on October 30 if I still havent had the delivery yet.

After the prenatal visit, Jan and I moved to his Aunt's house.

During pregnancy, I usually wake up atleast twice at night to pee. I also get super thirsty at night 🤷‍♀️

But on October 27, 2020, at 11:30pm, I woke up to pee and then drank atleast 1 glass full of water. This, I found to be normal and usual.

Then around 1:30am Oct 28, I woke up again to pee. And drank another half glass of water just to satisfy the thirst. I know I shouldn't keep drinking to avoid peeing a lot, right? But I was always thirsty at night.

At 2:30am, I had a little accident of peeing a little but stopped it before peeing all the way at the CR. I noticed my pee color was a bit cloudy. It wasn't normally like that. I have made research before about gush of water bag. It only said the color would be the same as pee. The definite sign is when the pee smells metallic. I dont really breathe thru my nose when Im inside the CR, but this time, I had to because it was a bit suspicious. But I smelled nothing. But when I came back to bed, I suddenly felt like pooping. I drank half a glass of water again.

At 2:54am, the sudden urge to pee again and this time, it was really hard to hold it. The pee has flown while I stood. I woke Jan up because I wasn't sure about it anymore. Then I went to CR to finish peeing. It still was cloudy but there was no odor. And the feeling of wanting to poop was still there and my back hurt like how my back hurts when I have my period. Jan wiped the pee on the floor. I felt so greatful he wasn't grossed out about it. Or maybe he did, but didn't show it 🥺❤️

I felt really worried about it already so I texted my obgyne at 3:27am of what happened. Jan and I just thought maybe it was just really pee. But there's still little trickles of pee, so I wore a sanitary napkin already. And this time, I didn't drink water just to be sure it wasn't because I kept drinking water.

At 6am, my obgyne called. She informed me that it was really water bag rupture. She told me to go to the hospital already but then I wasn't swabbed yet. So she told me to go to UC Med for swab since UC Med and St Vincent Hospitals are sister hospitals. After swabbing, she advised for me to go to her clinic at 3-4pm for an IE just to be sure it was already the water bag rupture.

We then went to UCMed at 8am together with Ate Ana. My stomach already hurts every once in a while.

When we got back home, the hurt becomes a little stronger. So I texted the obgyne if I could visit the clinic sooner. The doctor said we could visit at 1pm.

When we arrived, I got IE'd and the doctor confirmed it really was the water bag rupture but I was still at 1cm. Like omgggg. Everything felt so real already. But at the same time, I was really worried because as per doctor's experience with other patients, it takes 1 week to open up to atleast 6cm. Like, whaaaat is going on here? 😭

We then went straight to St Vincent General Hospital and arrived at 2pm. But I was still placed at the Out Patient Department as we were advised to wait before endorsed to the Labor Room for the swab result from UCmed to avoid bigger costs of the attendants' PPE. They also called UCMed to follow up results, UCMed said they would try to have the result given by 5pm. Wew. Another 3hrs of pain. I was advised when it hurts, I just had to breathe thru mouth. I was constantly asked for the intervals of pain. It was still at about 10-15mins.

At 5pm, they called UCMed again. Unfortunately, they moved the time to 9pm or 10pm. Like whaaaat, another 4-5hrs of pain! Jan was with me at the OPD. His face concerned and caring. Like, this is another part of Jan I haven't seen yet. I was so happy 🥺❤️😭

At around 9pm, I wanted to pee. When I peed, I noticed my pee was already colored brown. I told Jan. There was a little bit of my pee on the floor. He was not grossed out about it and even took a picture and sent it to Ate Ana.

At 10pm, UCmed has yet again disappointed. They said to wait until 1am. I was already in strong tummy pain. Intervals were already at 2-4mins. I told Jan what if I want to be in the Labor room already? But he kept encouraging me to wait and if I can still hold it for a few more hours.

So at 1am, I asked the nurses to call UCmed. They havent made a feedback until 2am already. Result was negative for COVID. Wew. Finally!

I was then taken first to the Emergency Room to be interviewed and IE'd by the resident obgyne. There already were tubes attached to me. Dextrose and stuff. And it my tummy reaaaallly hurts already. The resident obgyne was asking me questions and I strongly breathe in between each answers. 😭

I also had to lie on my back. I really didn't want that position as it feels very uncomfortable. After the questions, she IE'd me. She told me the baby has already pooped inside because her fingers were already full of brown stuff. That explained the brown color on my pee! The baby has possibly already ate some of it. What would be worse was if some of it went to his lungs. 😭 Bad news also was that I was still at 4cm! Lord, why all the bad things right now? 😭

Then I was taken to the Labor Room. Dr Geline was already waiting for me there. I was still monitored and we waited some time. Then she checked my cervix at around 4am but I was still at 6cm. I still had to lay on my back. Everything was so uneasy and uncomfortable already. Dr Geline told me to wait until 6am for the opening of my cervix.

At quarter to 6am, she IE'd me again but still at 6cm. She then told the staff to get ready for Caesarean Operation and called for the necessary doctors to be around. I was already so sad. Then she came to me and asked if I was really gonna undergo CS. She then told me "Mag CS jud ta because I already gave the chance. It's already been more than 24hrs since the water bag rupture. 28hrs already. And only 50% of amniotic fluid remains in the water bag. And cervix was still at 6cm open." she told me one of the tubes attached to me was already for induce, to help with opening of the cervix, but I was not responding to it and she has observed it hurt me a lot. She had taken it out and inserted it back and taken it out again but I was still at 6cm. In my mind, I was already so sad. Expenses would already be at 100k plus already! 😭 Dr Geline has also already informed Jan.

Then I was taken to the Operating Room. An anaesthesiologist was explaining to me about stuff that was gonna happen. They are gonna inject the anaesthesia and everything from my stomach down to my feet will be numb. Then I was put in a crouch position to have my spinal column clear to see. There was a specific place in my back where they are gonna inject the general anaesthesia.

They placed a cloth infront of me, like how you see in the movies where you cannot see them operation below. After the injection, I felt so cold. To the point I was freezing and my teeth were already clicking and making noises. The anaethesiologist was talking to me. She told me that it was nothing to worry about as it is normal when general anaesthesia is injected. And catheter was gonna be inserted so I may feel a little tingle down there. My arms were open wide. I cant remember if they were tied. What I knew was that I was awoke by the anaesthesiologist because I was already asleep while they were operating. "Maam, ayaw sag katog kay padung na mugawas si baby, nihagok pa raba jud ka". OMG kauwaw! 🙈😭

A few minutes after, I heard a baby crying. There, I saw my baby. But he wasn't placed on my chest😢 maybe also because I was numb. In my mind was "that's it? I already gave birth?" it felt nothing. Like blank. Also because I was numbed all over. It didn'tnhurt at all. Not the scenario or feeling Inhad expected for months. I could hear from doctors below mentioning "cord coil" but I was just so tired, i had slept again and hagok again 😅

I woke to the sound of my snore at the recovery room. It was just so damn loud. But I didn't care. I felt so friggin tired. A nurse was looking out for me. She asked if I could already move my feet. I couldn't. She told me I couldn't get to our room if I still couldn't move both feet. So I slept and snored again. After an hour or so, although I still could move my right feet, the nurse decided to have me taken at our room and Jan was there. I continued to sleep. I didn't know everyone was already calling Jan for updates. Even my parents. Oh and by the way, Daddy already told Jan to call them Mommy and Daddy already. Awwww ❤️

During my recovery, Jan helped me out. Even on eating, he would spoonfeed me. 🥺I really felt how he cared for me. He's constantly checking if I was okay. Took really good care of me like he was a nurse. ❤️

The next day after giving birth, Doc Geline visited me. She told me what happened. Turned out the baby was cord coiled which was why the baby couldn't descend and why my cervix couldn't open. I had 28hrs of labor. My baby has already defacated inside, already ate some of it, plus some even wen inside the lungs. He had pneumonia on his first day on the world. Imagine the things I was afraid of plus more, all happened on the BIG DAY 😭

But on the good side, atleast both of us are now safe. Things would have turned out bad if we had pushed thru with the normal birth since it the cord coil was only found out during operation, he would have been strangled when pushed out. 😭 It also would have been dangerous for me if I tried to push out on normal delivery because I was already so tired with 28hrs of labor contractions, remember, I snored so hard during operation. 😢

As Claire said, the late result of the swab test was a blessing in disguise. I'd also like to think of it that way.

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eevachu · 7 years ago

Note

There once was a girl called kate/most think she’s very great/some people are wrong/They’ve been bad for very long/for their standards no person can abate

EDIT: The person who sent this came forward and clarified that this ask was meant to poke fun at anti-Kate trolls, not Kate fans. I misinterpreted it and flew wildly off the rails (as I am oft want to do lol). The person who sent this couldn’t have known the depths to which I have grieved over this issue as of late, so do not fault them for it. They wanted to send me a joke and I took it the wrong way (ah the similarities here to Kate’s comedy).

I appreciate someone trying to make me laugh. I don’t really appreciate further spreading this drama, but people are entitled to their opinions, so they are also entitled to the consequences of those opinions. I will say, however, I don’t really like comedy that punches down (accidentally or not), because I think many of the people, who, wrongfully justified and misinformed about her or not, are doing it out of a genuine desire to help trans people. I think the puritanical environment that spaces like tumblr create for this type of discussion creates a toxic mindset that looks ridiculous compared to a properly moderated formal debate environment.

I’m keeping the full version under the cut, because they are things that should be said and I am so very tired of seeing people drag her name through the mud based on hearsay. You may use the examples I’ve provided to draw your own conclusions on the matter, as I have drawn mine. I’ve included some footnotes and clarifications. Skip down to the bolded paragraph above the video to avoid the majority of my emotional outburst.

Thank you for sending needless and harmful negativity into my inbox, I really wish you had instead put your time towards a positive goal like volunteering at an animal shelter, working to raise awareness over the plight of indigenous people in Canada or even just telling someone their hair looks nice today. (The thank you was sarcastic, in case that wasn’t clear.) Or hey, maybe you could have just said, “I know you love Kate, but here’s some problematic things she’s done you should be aware of.” Not write a patronizing little ditty. Catch more flies with honey than with open condescension and all that?

Since you seem like one of those sick people that get off to seeing people feel bad and subscribe to tumblr’s toxic black and white morality and witch hunt culture, here is what you accomplished with this ask:

You’ve made me upset, and I’m sure that was your goal. Congrats. I am an adult woman of 25 and I am crying now because of how upset this made me. This is nothing special, I am weepy person, so don’t pat yourself on the back. I tend to care too much and feel too freely; but anon, did you want me to cry? Because here you are. I am crying. Trembling a little too. You getting your rocks off to this? Happy to be of service then.

My being upset has triggered my anxiety over the issue of my admiration of Kate as an openly lesbian comedian versus the occasional problematic content of her comedy. I think about it a lot, because I am a critical person. The anxiety is going to affect me for several days. Right now I’m nauseous. I will now sleep poorly because of it. I will get less work done because of it. I will be in a foul mood for a week, which affects the people around me. I may self-medicate with alcohol or take what I like to call “a gravol nap”. I will lose money because of lost productivity. So you’ve lost me money anon, I’m sure you enjoy that. What is it about suffering that gives you your jollies, anon?

I work freelance, and you’ve interrupted my work day, because I cannot let this stew, so I have to take time out of my day to write out my thoughts as a reply you probably won’t see and take other measures for my own well-being. This really isn’t for you anon, this has been stewing in me for months and this is the last straw.

So here under the cut are my full thoughts on Kate Mc /.Kinnon Berth/ old, they will be rambly as, hey look, I’m dissociating a little (how fun):

Did you know from 2007-2010* Kate played a problematic character called Fitzwillia m that portrayed a dmab character that wanted a vagina? I’m sure you did. Anon, have you actually watched the Fitzwillia m skits? Here’s a link to all of them:

vimeo

Watched them? Opinions? I want your real opinions on them, not just what the witch-hunters have told you to think. You’re probably a smart person, you can make up your own mind.

They’re in poor taste certainly, but a lot of comedy is. I think in the grand scheme of life, in the grand scheme of all human suffering and portrayals of queer characters, Fitzwillia m isn’t the worst. Certainly not great and certainly transmisogynistic, but like… watch a lot of TV from this time, this is practically progressive.

Is Kate maybe attached to this character because so many people loved them, approved of this character, and brought this character back for 3 seasons? That sometimes you do bad things because you don’t know they’re bad or that you do, but damn if you don’t need the money? That sometimes you’re ill-informed about something? That to create a character is to send part of yourself out into the world, and you always will love them even when you shouldn’t? That she hasn’t addressed it because to do so would be a PR nightmare for her publicist? That she likely doesn’t know this is even an issue because she’s not on social media? Probably. I’ve made some terrible characters, who did much worse things, who I am lucky to let die on paper stuffed in a folder where no one can see them. She was 22* when she made this character, in a completely different cultural climate than in 2017. Does it make it right that a whole team of people approved this character out into the world? Not to me. However, I don’t have the right to decide anything about the trans-related nature of Fitzwillia m as a cis person, but context is always important to me.When I was looking for a compilation video, I found trans people who genuinely enjoyed this character. I know I love some absolutely problematic gay characters.

Let’s put this into MY context anon, 2010 is when I met my first ever trans person. Ever. I was 18 and in college. I think it took me like… 2 years to figure out what trans actually was in a healthy way that wasn’t tainted by my culturally ingrained transphobia. I didn’t know dick all about social justice or politics or the queer community. I thought I was maybe bisexual. I thought I knew everything. By coincidence, I’m actually going through my blog today and clearing out posts from that time because they’re terrible, because I was terrible. I’ve changed so much from then, I don’t even recognize this person on this very blog. I’m not famous and those words are entirely mine, so I lose nothing by saying I’m wrong for what I said. Kate could lose jobs and colleagues and friends for addressing her past in a similar manner. She worked collaboratively on those works and people will take offence at her backtracking. It’s all very damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Is it right? Probably not, but it’s understandable. She works for Saturday Night Live, a place where they are constantly making things like:

youtube

That was made in 2015 and this is very mild. In 2015, I had a more senior coworker make a joke about how a couple we could see in the building across from us were “swapping their gay AIDs blood.” I think that’s a much worse “joke” than anything on SNL. I didn’t tell HR because I was afraid to lose my job, as shitty as it was. She wasn’t exactly in a position of power when these things were made, and she isn’t really in a place to speak out against them now. She’s just now hitting her stride. If I can’t stand up in my own workplace, I can’t fault her for not standing up in hers.

Did she joke about never seeing a penis in an interview? Yes. Did I make the same type of jokes until someone came along to tell me what was wrong with it in a nice way? YEP.**

Does she even know it’s an issue is another thing. She doesn’t use social media, certainly not tumblr. I learned basically all I know about the queer community from tumblr. I have no idea where I’d be without it; probably still making transphobic gold star lesbian jokes.

Anon, I’ve read her receipts. I always do. I know what I’m doing by supporting her is a bit problematic, but so are most of the things I do in my life. I eat meat from factory farms. I have a pedigree dog. I live on unceded First Nation’s land. I benefit from systematic racism. I don’t know what the hell my mutual funds are actually invested in. I’ve made rape jokes and said r*tarded. I was a schoolyard bully redirecting my anger onto other because of my home life. I’ve ruined people’s lives by things I’ve said. I have been a truly godawful person.

Here’s why I still love Kate, if always cautiously and never uncritically: from 2014-2015, I had a mental breakdown, until 2016 I lived in this sort of haze. I remember wanting to die a lot. I remember staring at the subway tracks and thinking, “what if I just jumped?” Do you know what that’s like anon? To constantly want to die? To be in a dead end job, to feel like you’re absolutely worthless? To have a pet die and just think “I deserve this suffering, I’m a failure”?

And then I saw her as Jillian Holtzmann and just… something changed. Something truly changed in my life. She helped me figure out I was a lesbian. She helped me see that out lesbian women could succeed. She got me through that 2016 election where I lost all hope again.

Did she actually do anything? I mean, not really. But she represented something to me and to watch people tear her down is to watch a part of myself be torn down with her.

Why do I still love Kate, even if only as an idea, not an actual person? Because her saving my life outweighs the blights in her career. Because I give people the benefit of the doubt that they don’t mean harm, because they aren’t aware of the underlying social issues they are dealing with. Because I do not minimize the harmful way that ra// dical fe /.minists are recruiting young lesbians into the T /.ERF community by calling anyone who creates transphobic/transmisogynistic content TE /.RFs. Because I do not idolize, I admire. Because her job is to make people laugh and I truly don’t think she wants to hurt anyone by doing so. Because people are complicated and good intentioned people can do bad things. Because I want to believe she’s a good person under everything.

Because I am willing to forgive other people for things I have done myself if they seem the sort to be open to learning.

If all else is still unforgivable to you anon, I leave you with this: there’s a part in the movie Julie & Julia, where the main character Julie finds out that the Julia Child, this woman she has idolized and who’s cookbook inspired her to change her life, doesn’t like her work. She is devastated. And her husband says that there’s two Julia’s: the real one, and the one in Julie’s head, who she sees as her savior. The Julia Child in her head is the one that really matters.

Let me have the Kate in my head.

In conclusion: anon, I wish you all the best, just very very far away from me.

Notes:

* I was wrong about the original dates that this aired, BGSS aired from 2007-2010, not 2008-2010, which means season 1 was likely shot in 2006 with Kate was 22-23 when she created Fitzwilli am. I was pretty stupid at 22.

** I am actually really angry about being misled by this quote, because I had never watched the full interview, which you can see here:

youtube

The interview was filmed in 2007, 10 years ago when Kate was 23, she’s 33 now. 10 YEARS. I know I don’t want to be compared to 15 year old me, or really even 23 year old me. Like I really don’t want to be out here “making excuses” but you have to think critically about the context of the things she’s said and how blowing them out of proportion is harmful to people who are actively trying to harm the trans community. Sure, she’s buying into the gold-star rhetoric for a laugh (because it’s a funny joke straight people in my life STILL make to me and so that’s what most young lesbians think is what you do), but she immediately says after “I don’t think [penises] are gross, I think they’re fun! Fun to play with.” That’s not a typical transmisogynist lesbian dialogue (they usually say penises are disgusting). Which yes, equates genitals with gender, but like… I remember in this time period of my life I was doing the same thing. Not out of malice, but because I didn’t know any trans/genderqueer/nonbinary people, I didn’t even know trans men were a thing! In the same interview she says she’s more 98.5% lesbian, it’s very clear that she’s not sure about these things.

You can tell this interview is more an open dialogue between friends trying to have an honest conversation about sexuality in a time that information about sexuality and gender was much harder to obtain. 2007 is long before it became standard for people to qualify that genitals didn’t equate gender. And it’s definitely still not comedy’s standard, and I get what it’s like to constantly be bombarded with cissexist rhetoric that sometimes you just give in to make it easy.

So in real conclusion: I personally think, from my standpoint as a cis lesbian of 25, that tumblr needs to forgive and needs to draw their own conclusions by watching these examples, not repeat this cycle of screaming examples at people without linking those examples. Let people draw their own conclusions and be open to being wrong about something. I was wrong about the entire catalyst for this post, and I am so deeply sorry about it, and will be more careful in the future.

And for the love of god tumblr, stop holding people to such high standards when you probably wouldn’t meet those standards yourself if you were in that same person’s position.

#prefer if you didn't reblog #don't @ me i'm done arguing this #i just really needed to get all this off my chest it's been festering #eevasks #anon #discourse #transphobia #transmisogyny #suicide #anxiety #depression #mental breakdown

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michelleolvido · 7 years ago

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Click. Share. Teach. Learn. Repeat.

One of my best friends works as a Social Media Manager. Yes, that is a real job. Maymay asked me to write about three things I learned about being on social media in the point of view of a teacher. She is scheduled to give a workshop to a group of teachers and she wanted to get my insights on the topic. She adds that this is her way of ‘tricking’ me to write again. This reveals one of the many reasons why we are best friends. Love you, May!

As a disclaimer, let me just say that I am not an expert on the use of social media in the classroom. The only time I specifically integrated the use of social media in my class was when I taught Introduction to Research last semester. Also, I teach in college. Adding students as friends on Facebook and followers on Instagram was a conscious choice. Given this context and my experiences with interacting with students, here are the three things I have learned about being a teacher in the age of social media.

1. You can treat your social media accounts as personal space but you are responsible for the content you share.

This is very basic but it must be said. ‘Think before you click’ applies to everyone but teachers should really be more careful with what they share since they are in a position of influence. There are students who take their teacher’s word as facts. Spreading hearsay can be detrimental not only to your reputation and integrity as a person and as a professional, it can literally cause harm to people involved. Some teachers repost fake news and worse, some actually write an essay of their reaction to something that was expressed without evidence. It is difficult to demand critical thinking from our students when we do not exercise the use of it.

I think we can go back to the reason why you are in social media and why you decided to expose your students to your influence. I have one friend who keeps two accounts because she feels much of her personal life is something she does not want her students to know of. Another friend does not add students on Facebook because she is ‘not a good example and does not plan on being one’. We laughed when she said this but I understand where she is coming from. To me, these are respectable choices.

I am not trying to step on a person’s freedom of expression but rather to encourage all teachers to be more ‘conscious’ of the position of influence they are in. For example, I rarely rant on Facebook. Not because my life is perfect and I am a saint but rather because I am aware that it does no good to anyone if I do it there. I would much rather talk to the persons involved in person or send a personal message. Ranting on social media is cathartic in so many ways. I do it… on Twitter. Where I do not add students. When work stresses me out, I choose to share about the bright side of the experience or what the challenge is teaching me instead of dwelling on the negative. The first could garner more likes and shares but THAT is not who I am or who I want to be perceived as and so I choose not to do it. We should be mindful of our choices because what we continue to do leads us to who we ultimately become.

2. Your social media account may be an extension of yourself but it is not who you are.

There are people I used to like offline and have learned to dislike online. Some just frustrate me. An example would be when a teacher who posts green jokes online or constantly uses bad words to ‘prove a point’. It is a matter of personal stand and you may or may not agree with me but I think green jokes and bad words have no place in the classroom. A teacher can say that I am a different person in the classroom and I do ‘this’ only when I am outside but your character is built by what you repeatedly do. Your most authentic self always comes out. Sometimes, I am tempted to pick a fight online. Most of the time, I just decide it is not the best way to proceed. I send a private message instead or unfollow/unfriend people altogether.

Facebook can feel like a ‘world’ in itself but I remind myself constantly that it is not all there is. Who you are there is but a fraction of who you really are. Do not lose sight of who you are, what your battles are, where the fight is truly fought and why you do what you do. I say all these things not because I have conquered this weakness but because I need this reminder, too. I am guilty of over-sharing at times. I also get caught up with trends and I have also posted things online when it would have been better if I had directed it to the person involved. I share this because I have learned that though students learn from what we post, what we actually do on social media is more powerful. I could write three lessons or five or ten but it all boils down to them: students.

3. You may start making connections online but relationships are built offline.

I decided to add students on my social media accounts because I wanted to be where they are. I strive to make my lessons feel relevant to my students and I try to present material in a language they understand. There was one school year when my students would repeatedly comment that I throw too many #hugot lines. Honestly, I speak that way long before #hugot lines became a ‘thing’. But because I saw how effectively I can get a point across when I use those lines, I used them more often in class. Intentionally. I remember one time when I wrote a talk anchored on #hugot (in my defense, it was the ‘theme’ of that training! haha) and it became one of my favorite talks to date.

Being on social media also allows me to be more accessible to students. I have done consultations for schoolwork on messenger and from time to time, I talk about life with students as well. But at the end of the day, the best conversations and the strongest of relationships are built offline. Even when I struggle in the use of their language and when my jokes fail, I think that my kids see that I make an effort to get to know them, meet them where they are and just journey with them. I think that one of the challenges of being a teacher (especially in this age of internet and social media), is making the students feel that they matter and that you are invested in their growth as people.

When you see teaching as more than just a job, I think you will learn to see that social media is just like any other medium of and for instruction. You can choose to use it. You can choose not to. We constantly say that we need to disconnect in order to connect. There is so much wisdom in that statement. But I also think we can also connect in order to connect. You should look at what Maymay does for Gawad Kalinga, Pandoo Foundation and First Harvest (to name a few). There are days when her stories save my day. I’m thinking that if I get to do what she does for at least one student, it would be worth the risk of opening up my ‘personal virtual space’ to my kids.

The possibility of being judged and misunderstood does not only happen online but also in everyday life. So I just try to think of Facebook and Instagram as an extension of my classroom and my posts a continuation of the lessons I teach. What I really hope to achieve however is that whenever I share in class what I have read online from the posts of my students, I make them feel that what they say counts. That when I ‘stalk’ them, I make them realize that they really should be more careful what it is they share online because actions will always have consequences. That when I allow them to witness a small part of my personal life, I make them remember how we are all human. That means we are imperfect and that’s okay. That we all struggle and that means that somehow, they will never be totally alone whatever the battle it is they are fighting. I am not sure if I am successful but I have I decided long ago that I will be the kind of teacher who ‘tries’.

Today, this post is my attempt to make a difference.

Today, I tried.

Your turn. :)

#buhayteacher #reflections #socialmedia

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theliberaltony · 5 years ago

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via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.

sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): On Sunday, The New York Times reported a bombshell from former national security adviser John Bolton’s unpublished manuscript about his time in the White House: President Trump had, in fact, wanted to withhold $391 million in assistance to Ukraine until investigations into Democrats — including Joe Biden and his son Hunter — were agreed to.

Bolton’s version of events undermined the president’s claim, which has been an important part of his defense during the impeachment process, that the decision to freeze aid to Ukraine was independent from requests that Ukraine investigate the Bidens. The reported contents of the manuscript also gave a snapshot of the kind of testimony Bolton might give if the Senate allows witnesses to be called in the trial.

The White House legal team is back in the Senate today presenting the president’s side of the case, but what should we make of Bolton’s manuscript? Does it change the calculus of the trial moving forward?

ameliatd (Amelia Thomson-DeVeaux, senior writer): Well, it certainly amps up the pressure on GOP senators to call witnesses. Bolton has been the white whale of the impeachment inquiry since last fall, since he seems to have been privy to a lot of key conversations around the Ukraine aid and the investigations. The NYT reporting just underscores how important his testimony could be.

perry (Perry Bacon Jr., senior writer): My impression is that Bolton wants this known — he is willing to back up what others have testified to: The aid was tied to launching investigations. I didn’t find this too shocking — there is ample evidence aside from Bolton’s words that the Ukrainians were being asked to investigate the Bidens in exchange for the aid. But Bolton was in the White House and “has the receipts,” as the kids say.

Reactions from Senate Republicans so far also suggest that Bolton’s version of events might have some impact. The senators who were already generally supportive of having witnesses at the impeachment trial (Susan Collins and Mitt Romney in particular) are now sounding firmer in that stance. And other Republicans are also now suggesting that they could be open to calling witnesses, although they are talking about summoning Hunter and Joe Biden as well as Bolton.

ameliatd: Some GOP senators have responded defensively to the Bolton news, and that could be important, too. One critique is that he’s just trying to juice books sales; another is that he doesn’t actually need a subpoena to share what he knows (which is true!).

The thing is, if Bolton wants this information to be known, he can make it known at any time by holding a press conference. But he seems to want permission from his party to share the info, in the form of a subpoena.

sarahf: So as Perry says, we didn’t really learn anything new here in Bolton’s manuscript. Rather, Bolton’s account essentially corroborates what others from the Trump administration told House investigators last November. But unlike those other witnesses, including the former top U.S. diplomat in Ukraine, William Taylor, and American E.U. Ambassador Gordon Sondland, Bolton was “in the room.”

Is that, in and of itself, a game changer? I guess at the very least, it probably does shift the vote count on the motion to call new witnesses. A few days ago, it didn’t seem as if Democrats were going to win over enough GOP senators to make that happen.

ameliatd: It’s an interesting question, Sarah, because Bolton is different from the witnesses we’ve heard from so far in a couple key ways: 1) He’s a political appointee (almost all of the people we heard from in November were career officials); 2) He’s a longtime Republican hawk who should have significant cred if he’s saying that what Trump did was out of bounds.

On the other hand, Bolton left the Trump administration on pretty bad terms with the president, who is denying he told Bolton that the aid was tied to the investigations.

It does feel like if this doesn’t shift the vote count for calling new witnesses, nothing will.

perry: One of the big GOP talking points has been that this is all hearsay. Except now Bolton is suggesting he heard directly from Trump that the goal was to force an investigation of the Bidens or Ukraine would not get aid. I expect Republicans will eventually just pick a new talking point, though — “executive privilege” or “Bolton was disgruntled” or something.

ameliatd: And that’s why I think it’s telling, Perry, that GOP senators are already saying this is just a play to sell copies of his book.

perry: Bolton testifying would probably be really bad for Trump — so there is very little incentive for Trump and the Republicans to have him testify.

sarahf: Right, and Trump definitely seems to be busy already sowing seeds for a defense that Bolton is disgruntled/untrustworthy, saying that he never discussed this with Bolton.

perry: As always, the key players here on whether we hear from new witnesses are the Republicans from swing states: Cory Gardner of Colorado, Martha McSally of Arizona and Collins, along with Trump-skeptical senators like Lisa Murkowski of Alaska and Romney. In my view, they need to find a way to placate Trump and his base but also their state’s more centrist voters. I don’t know what that looks like.

ameliatd: Yeah, and even though Republican support for calling new witnesses has gone down since the end of December — according to our polling with Ipsos, using Ipsos’s KnowledgePanel — 41 percent of Republicans still want new witnesses. (Of course, they could have witnesses other than Bolton in mind, like the Bidens.)

I guess my somewhat cynical take on this is similar to Perry’s — except for the people who were already apt to vote for witnesses, Republicans might just find other reasons to avoid calling Bolton. And frankly, I think the way Bolton has handled this makes that easier for them to do.

sarahf: So Amelia, you don’t think this tips the scale in terms of calling new witnesses?

ameliatd: I mean, I think it’s hard to predict right now. It’s totally possible that the balance does tip and we see more senators voting for witnesses. But GOP senators are already questioning Bolton’s motivations from a number of angles, and it’s not like their defenses of Trump have been especially consistent or logically cohesive to this point.

sarahf: My thought is that this is about as bad as news can get for Trump. This isn’t someone with secondhand knowledge alleging he withheld aid for politically motivated reasons. It’s a close former adviser with firsthand knowledge of these conversations. I think this now forces Republicans’ hand and they’ll have to call him.

Although, to be clear, I think there are still ways Republicans can spin this so it’s not a total defeat. Take Sen. Lindsay Graham. He’s now saying “all relevant witnesses” should be called, including ones Trump has requested, which I read as code for Biden.

perry: One of the unknowns is here whether Democrats will agree to one of the Bidens testifying if Bolton and others who will make Trump look bad are asked to testify.

ameliatd: Right, I don’t see a world where we only get Bolton, if witnesses are called. Some GOP senators have been pushing this “witness reciprocity” (Bolton-for-Bidens) line for a while, so it’s not surprising to see that resurfacing.

perry: What a move by Bolton. He is now going to join the likes of James Comey, Robert Mueller, Jeff Flake and others who are fairly conservative and were once in pretty good standing with the Republican Party, but then criticized Trump and were condemned by their former allies. Bolton was a fixture on Fox News before he joined the administration. Those days are probably over. He will be cast as part of “The Resistance” now.

And this will be another illustration of where today’s conservative moment is headed: You either support whatever Trump does or you aren’t going to remain in good standing at major conservative power centers , like Capitol Hill and Fox News.

We should note two other things: 1. The recording that came out last week in which Trump seems to be ordering the firing of Marie Yovanovitch, who was then the U.S. ambassador to Ukraine, and 2. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo getting into a tense dispute with an NPR reporter who asked him about Yovanovitch and the circumstances of her recall from Ukraine. There are a lot of people tied to Trump involved in this Ukraine controversy who are not doing a particularly good job defending Trump, or, in Bolton’s case, not defending him at all.

The Democrats can’t keep this trial going forever. But it does look like evidence is going to keep coming out that makes Trump look worse, so they must be trying to figure out how to keep this trial going on beyond this week. And the Republicans have to be thinking that witnesses are a net negative for them, even if they get Hunter or Joe Biden to testify.

ameliatd: I will add also that the Republicans/Trump administration have been pushing the idea that Bolton’s testimony could be covered by executive privilege, which would snarl things up in the courts. They could certainly try that tack, but executive privilege claims are on shakier footing legally as more of this information comes out publicly. And also, if a majority of senators vote to subpoena Bolton and he wants to testify, it could be very hard for Trump to stop him.

sarahf: Tell us a little bit more about how that would work, Amelia. It seems to me that the administration could do what you’re describing, but they risk making a pretty unpopular move.

Because we’ve found in our own polling with Ipsos that a majority (59 percent) of Americans still want to hear new witnesses, and ABC News/Washington Post found in their latest poll that 66 percent of Americans favor the Senate calling new witnesses — and that was before the Bolton development. I have to imagine that number goes up.

ameliatd: Executive privilege is a pretty ill-defined power that presidents use to keep internal communications secret. In some cases, it has protected senior White House aides from responding to a subpoena. But those people were also unwilling to testify. The Trump administration could try to get a court to issue a restraining order preventing Bolton from testifying, but we’d be headed into unprecedented legal territory if that happens. And it’s not even clear that what Bolton would share would be covered under executive privilege to begin with.

It’s also possible that the courts would be less inclined to rule in the executive branch’s favor during an impeachment trial.

And then of course, there’s the fact that it looks pretty bad if Trump keeps someone with clearly relevant information from testifying. On the other hand, he’s been doing that for months and it hasn’t shifted the needle. But maybe Bolton is different, especially if he’s out in public making a ruckus about what he knows and how he wants to share it.

sarahf: Right, and I suppose the other thing here is: say Trump’s legal team did go down this path … it doesn’t stop Bolton from publishing his memoir, right? Though, I suppose the administration could push to exclude certain excerpts during the standard review process. It just seems as if from a PR point of view, we’re past that point, and so now the Trump team’s best of course action is to discredit Bolton, as they have tried to do with the other witnesses.

Assuming we do hear from Bolton because the Senate decides to call new witnesses, how could this change things? Does it cause some Republicans reconsider their vote to acquit Trump?

perry: Yeah, Bolton I think is unique in that: 1. My impression is that he doesn’t like Trump and wants this fight. 2. He served in the administration in a very senior-level job and probably knows a lot, some of which would be embarrassing for Trump if it came out. This may not matter for the impeachment trial, but if I were Trump, I would be a little worried about Bolton.

I don’t think this affects the bottom line — I don’t think Republicans will ever vote to remove Trump. (There is a very, very small but I think plausible scenario in which they privately urge him to resign.) But do I think it’s possible we have a longer trial with witnesses? Yes, and I think that possibility is much higher than it was on Friday.

But ultimately I think still it’s unlikely that we get witnesses — it’s just not in the interests of the GOP, and they probably still have the votes to prevent it. But a trial with witnesses would be a wild card — you never know what people will say.

ameliatd: Right, and Bolton is a much more well-known figure than any of the other people we’ve heard from so far. Plus, he seems like he could fill in the piece that’s been missing for Democrats all along: a witness who heard from Trump’s mouth that the aid was tied to the investigations.

Hard to see how that wouldn’t damage Trump in some way, even if he still gets acquitted.

#IFTTT #Politics – FiveThirtyEight #politics #538 #Sarah Frostenson #Perry Bacon Jr. and Amelia Thoms

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marcusssanderson · 6 years ago

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Bruce Lee Quotes About Life, Love and Water To Inspire You

Our latest collection of Bruce Lee quotes that will help you achieve personal growth.

Bruce Lee, born as Lee Jun Fan on November 27, 1940 in San Francisco, California in the hour and the year of the Dragon, is a well-known actor and martial artist.

Although he was an actor from the age of three months onward, his initially gained popularity for his role in The Green Hornet, a show that aired from 1966-67.

After a major back injury and upset at the lack of decent acting roles coming his way, Lee moved back to Hong Kong in the summer of ’71. In Hong Kong, Lee signed a contract for two films – Fists of Fury and The Chinese Connection.

Both of these films received bad reviews from US critics but broke major box office records in Hong Kong. By 1972, Bruce Lee was a huge celebrity in Asia despite not being very popular in the states. He began a Hollywood project, Enter the Dragon, but died a month before its release at the age of 32.

When Enter the Dragon was released posthumously, Lee became officially recognized as a film icon. Enter the Dragon earned more than $200 million, but Bruce Lee’s legacy didn’t end there.

Despite Lee’s early and mysterious death, his legacy as a martial artist and an actor lives on with the likes of Jackie Chan and Chuck Norris.

Even today Bruce Lee lives on and is revered as an actor and a premier martial artist, because he didn’t let Hollywood being unready for a major Asian actor stop him from achieving his dreams.

In his honor, below is our collection of inspirational, wise, and powerful Bruce Lee quotes and Bruce Lee sayings, collected from a variety of sources over the years.

Bruce Lee Quotes About Training The Warrior Within

1.) “If you truly love life, don’t waste time because time is what life is made of.” – Bruce Lee

2.) “Don’t fear failure. — Not failure, but low aim, is the crime. In great attempts it is glorious even to fail.” – Bruce Lee

3.) “The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or defeat. Let nature take its course, and your tools will strike at the right moment.”- Bruce Lee

Motivating Bruce Lee Quotes About Training

4.) “Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality.” – Bruce Lee

5.) “It’s not the daily increase but daily decrease. Hack away at the unessential.” – Bruce Lee

6.) “Do not allow negative thoughts to enter your mind for they are the weeds that strangle confidence.” – Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee Quotes About Life and Expectations

7.) “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee

8.) “‎The successful warrior is the average man, with laser-like focus.” – Bruce Lee

9.) “In order to control myself I must first accept myself by going with and not against my nature.” – Bruce Lee

10.) “Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” – Bruce Lee

11.) “Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one” – Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee Quotes About Flowing Like Water

12.) “In the middle of chaos lies opportunity” – Bruce Lee

13.) “I wish neither to possess nor to be possessed. I no longer covet ‘paradise’. More important, I no longer fear ‘hell’.” – Bruce Lee

14.) “Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” – Bruce Lee

15.) “Life’s battles don’t always go to the stronger or faster man. But sooner or later the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.” – Bruce Lee

More Bruce Lee quotes about life and pain

16.) “The medicine for my suffering I had within me from the very beginning but I did not take it. My ailment came from within myself, but I did not observe it, until this moment. Now I see that I will never find the light unless, like the candle, I am my own fuel, consuming myself.”

– Bruce Lee

17.) “…good technique includes quick changes, great variety, and speed. It may be a system of reversals much like a concept of God and the Devil.

In the speed of events, which one is really in charge?…to put the heart of martial arts in your own heart and have it be a part of you means total comprehension and the use of a freestyle. When you have that you will know that there are no limits.” – Bruce Lee

18.) “For it is easy to criticize and break down the spirit of others, but to know yourself takes a lifetime.” – Bruce Lee

19.) “Knowing is not enough, we must apply. Willing is not enough, we must do.” – Bruce Lee

20.) “Remember no man is really defeated unless he is discouraged.” – Bruce Lee

21.) “As you think, so shall you become”. – Bruce Lee

22.) “Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.” – Bruce Lee

23.) “If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.” – Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee Quotes About Reality and Life

24.) “Real living is living for others.” – Bruce Lee

25.) A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.” – Bruce Lee

26.) “There is “what is” only when there is no comparing and to live with “what is” is to be peaceful.” – Bruce Lee

27.) “Be happy, but never satisfied.” – Bruce Lee

28.) “To hell with circumstances; I create opportunities”. – Bruce Lee

29.) “I’m moving and not moving at all. I’m like the moon underneath the waves that ever go on rolling and rocking. It is not, “I am doing this,” but rather, an inner realization that “this is happening through me,” or “it is doing this for me.” The consciousness of self is the greatest hindrance to the proper execution of all physical action.” – Bruce Lee

30.) “…we have more faith in what we imitate than in what we originate. We cannot derive a sense of absolute certitude from anything which has its roots in us.

The most poignant sense of insecurity comes from standing alone and we are not alone when we imitate. It is thus with most of us; we are what other people say we are. We know ourselves chiefly by hearsay.” – Bruce Lee

31.) “To me, the extraordinary aspect of martial arts lies in its simplicity. The easy way is also the right way, and martial arts is nothing at all special; the closer to the true way of martial arts, the less wastage of expression there is.” – Bruce Lee

32.) “Showing off is the fool’s idea of glory.” – Bruce Lee

33.) “Everything you do, if not in a relaxed state will be done at a lesser level than you are proficient. Thus the tensed expert marksman will aim at a level less than his/her student.” – Bruce Lee

34.) “Self-knowledge involves relationship. To know oneself is to study oneself in action with another person. Relationship is a process of self-evaluation and self-revelation. Relationship is the mirror in which you discover yourself – to be is to be related.” – Bruce Lee

35.) “Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. – Bruce Lee

Inspirational Bruce Lee quotes

36.) “To spend time is to pass it in a specified manner. To waste time is to expend it thoughtlessly or carelessly. We all have time to either spend or waste and it is our decision what to do with it. But once passed, it is gone forever.” – Bruce Lee

37.) “Time means a lot to me because you see I am also a learner and am often lost in the joy of forever developing.” – Bruce Lee

38.) “I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.”– Bruce Lee

39.) “Ever since I was a child I have had this instinctive urge for expansion and growth. To me, the function and duty of a quality human being is the sincere and honest development of one’s potential.” – Bruce Lee

40.) “Don’t get set into one form, adapt it and build your own, and let it grow, be like water.” – Bruce Lee

41.) “A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.” – Bruce Lee

42.) “Those who are unaware they are walking in darkness will never seek the light.” – Bruce Lee

43.) “Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.” – Bruce Lee

44.) “If you don’t want to slip up tomorrow, speak the truth today.” – Bruce Lee

45.) “The more we value things, the less we value ourselves” – Bruce Lee

46.) “A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.” – Bruce Lee

47.) “The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.” – Bruce Lee

48.) “Only the self-sufficient stand alone – most people follow the crowd and imitate.” – Bruce Lee

49.) “Take things as they are. Punch when you have to punch. Kick when you have to kick.” – Bruce Lee

50.) “Empty your cup so that it may be filled; become devoid to gain totality.”– Bruce Lee

Bruce Lee quotes for personal growth

51.) “Take no thought of who is right or wrong, or who is better than. Be not for or against.”– Bruce Lee

52.) “Reality is apparent when one ceases to compare. There is “what is” only when there is no comparison at all, and to live with what is, is to be peaceful.”– Bruce Lee

53.) “All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.”– Bruce Lee

54.) “You just wait. I’m going to be the biggest Chinese Star in the world.”– Bruce Lee

55.) “Choose the positive. You have choice, you are master of your attitude, choose the positive, the constructive. Optimism is a faith that leads to success”– Bruce Lee

56.) “If you want to learn to swim jump into the water. On dry land no frame of mind is ever going to help you”– Bruce Lee

57.) “Life is wide, limitless. There is no border, no frontier.”– Bruce Lee

58.) “Life itself is your teacher, and you are in a state of constant learning.”– Bruce Lee

59.) “Absorb what is useful, discard what is not, add what is unique your own.”– Bruce Lee

60.) “Fear comes from uncertainty; we can eliminate the fear within us when we know ourselves better.”– Bruce Lee

Other powerful Bruce Lee quotes everyone needs to know

61.) “Life is never stagnation. It is constant movement, un-rhythmic movement, as we as constant change. Things live by moving and gain strength as they go.”– Bruce Lee

62.) “What you habitually think largely determines what you will ultimately become.”– Bruce Lee

63.) “A fight is not won by one punch or kick. Either learn to endure or hire a bodyguard.”– Bruce Lee

64.) “I am not teaching you anything. I just help you to explore yourself.”– Bruce Lee

65.) “Simplicity is the key to brilliance.”– Bruce Lee

66.) “If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”– Bruce Lee

67.) “The less effort, the faster and more powerful you will be.”– Bruce Lee

68.) “Preparation for tomorrow is hard work today.” – Bruce Lee

69.) “You will never get any more out of life than you expect.”– Bruce Lee

70.) “The world is full of people who are determined to be somebody or to give trouble. They want to get ahead, to stand out. Such ambition has no use for a gung fu man, who rejects all forms of self-assertiveness and competition”– Bruce Lee

Which Bruce Lee quotes are your favorite?

Although Bruce Lee lived a relatively short life, he left a big impact. He will always be remembered for popularizing kung fu around the world, and for the life-changing wisdom he shared.

We hope that these Bruce Lee quotes will inspire you to always stay positive and keep pushing yourself. Be true to yourself and always believe that you can do more than you thought you could.

Did you enjoy these Bruce Lee quotes? Which of the quotes was your favorite? Share your voice in the comment section below!

The post Bruce Lee Quotes About Life, Love and Water To Inspire You appeared first on Everyday Power.

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imnotovaryacting · 8 years ago

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KAW

Oh man. Y’all. I’m in quite a mood today, let me tell you.

So KAW and I have been friends since we were 10 years old. In 2014 we had something shake our friendship to its core and we lost each other for a while, 2 years actually. To understand what’s upset me today I have to tell you what happened back then so I’m sorry in advanced for another long post.

In late July/early August of 2014 KAW had revealed to me that she had made a bank account separate from that of hers and her fiancé that he was unaware of, that last part is mega important. We were 19 years old about that time and her and said fiancé had been together since she was 14 years old and lived together since she was 17. Since they lived together and had the plan of getting engaged and married when they joined houses they also joined bank accounts to just one account that had both their money and paid all their bills. He was/is AWFUL, I mean this dude is TERRIBLE at finances. So anyway it’s July/august of 2014 and they’ve been engaged a year at this point. They were young and discovering what credit cards were and that they were “manageable” to their monthly budget. KAW’s fiancé had spent $400.00 on HER CREDIT CARD without them having the money in their joint account to pay it off. So because of the engagement she was saving $30/week to buy her wedding gown with her secret account AND if there was an emergency. Well, this was an emergency because it would have killed her credit score if they couldn’t pay this bill and she was texting me about it while babysitting. I had asked her if she had the money in her personal account to pay it off and she told me she had exactly $400.00 and was bummed it wouldn’t go towards her dress but that she was glad they could pay the bill and have time to save up more money before the wedding so it would all work out. Well she fell asleep and so did I. I woke up the next morning to a message that said something along the lines of “I hope you’re happy. RDT left me. He saw your messages about my bank account after I went to sleep.”. So, just to be clear. This was a bank account she made, in secret. Told me about, in secret. Actively HID from her fiancé because of situations exactly like the one he had just put her in. AND he had gone on her cell phone after she had gone to sleep and read our conversation because he was “bored” and she texted me that the next day. I remember telling her everything would be okay and that he would get over it but apparently she wanted an apology for me sending the messages. Like, WHAT?! I didn’t apologize. I had nothing to be sorry for. I texted a friend about her troubles. SHE lied to him and HE went through her phone after she was asleep. She unfriended me on Facebook, blocked me on Instagram, and wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. For two years.

In like, December of 2015/January of 2016 she started to reach back out to me via Facebook. Her response to our “fight” was “I’m sorry we didn’t talk for two years. I was angry at you and I had to let it go before we could be friends again”. Again, WHAT?! Not “I’m sorry this came between us, I was wrong for using your texts as a scapegoat for my lying to my fiancé and his insecurity about the relationship to read my phone”. Nope. Just “I’m sorry we didn’t talk for two years”.

At this point, I took a step back and looked at our friendship. I told myself, maybe she’s more mature now. Maybe she has learned how to be a better friend. In a whole she has been the closest person to me in this lifetime and for the longest. I didn’t want it to be the way it was in 2014 but I didn’t wanna walk away from her. So I smiled and told her we shouldn’t talk about it anymore.

Over the last year we’ve built our friendship up. She also has PCOS and although her symptoms are much much MUCH more mild than mine we’ve bonded over that connection. Her wedding is in 13 days. I’m one of her maids of honor. A title she gave me but never asked me about. I’ve single handedly planned her bridal shower and bachelorette party that’s coming up this Saturday. None. Not a single one of the bridesmaids has helped with one damn thing. The officiant and I are mutual friends of KAW, I met DLR right before our big falling out.

Today DLR called me and told me she had seen KAW Sunday and they had mildly talked about how DLR was overjoyed because her and I were becoming so close (we have in fact been bonding over the fact that KAW and RDT should not get married). DLR mentioned to KAW that I remind her of her oldest friend in the essence that I care enough to call my friends on their bullshit. If I see someone making an unhealthy emotional/social choice I ask them they’re sure they wanna go through with it and remind them that actions have consequences & that either way I’m still there for them afterward just that I can see demise in the original action. Anyway, KAW’s response to that, I’m told, was that “Kayla’s always been very abrasive, she’s gotten better but she’s still very harsh on her friends. That’s why she doesn’t have many.”

It hurt me to hear that. I’ve tried so hard to put negative people behind me. After my abusive relationship I have tried my absolute hardest to omit nothing but positivity and light and everyone else I know thinks I’m fantastic to be around now that my heads on straight again. And me saying that is not to sound braggy or pompous but I have really really worked this last year to be the best person I can be. And DLR mentioned that KAW brought up the texting incident again. She’s told me its over. That it doesn’t matter anymore. But yet to DLR she has such negative things to say? I know our friendship right now is rocky on my end because I don’t agree with some of her choices in life but it’s nothing that’s going to make me distance myself from her. This, hearing this from DLR might. IDK y’all. I’m in this weird funk. And I know I should confront her about all of this hearsay but we’re so close to her wedding and I don’t want DLR to think I don’t trust her but I really feel like I need to have completely clean air with KAW.

IDK. I’m sorry to go on and on. I’m just hurt.

Xoxo,

Kay

#personal

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recentanimenews · 8 years ago

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FEATURE: Aniwords – What's the Deal with Kemono Friends?

I did not plan to watch Kemono Friends when this season started. To be more accurate, I didn't even know Kemono Friends was an anime that I could be watching. Having trimmed my simulcast watching schedule to a few hopeful new shows and a sequel or two ahead of the season's start, I wasn't even paying enough attention to the announcements or the upcoming anime charts to know that what would become the Japanese anime fandom's biggest anime of Winter 2017—a moe animal girls show based off of a defunct mobile game rendered in exceedingly poor CG—even existed. But here we are. A week ago, it was reported that the first episode of Kemono Friends had surpassed 1.2 million views on popular Japanese streaming site Nico Nico Douga. When I checked the count shortly before this post went live, that number had swollen to over 2 million.

In the English speaking fandom, Kemono Friends has had a much more muted impact—but with even the official Crunchyroll Twitter account professing its love for the show, viral Japanese fanart crossing language barriers, and the small group of devoted Kemono Friends followers (Kemono Friends friends, you might call them) slowly growing in number, it seems the show may be destined for higher mountains than just the one where the Japari Cafe is located.

For those who have only heard about Kemono Friends via hearsay—or who haven't heard about it at all—the fuss about this show may be quite mystifying. And, to some extent, the confusion is justified, because on the surface Kemono Friends doesn't have a lot to recommend it besides some very pretty backgrounds. But, having seen the first three episodes of the show, my impression of Kemono Friends is that the secret to its charm is not necessarily what we see on the surface (although that's definitely part of it), but what we don't see. And it's what we don't see and what not seeing it does to us that makes watching Kemono Friends such a strangely engrossing experience.

すごーい！

But first, a quick introduction to Kemono Friends for those of you yet uninitiated! The basic premise of the show is that a young girl finds herself in the middle of a savanna with no knowledge of who she is. She soon after encounters an anthropomorphized Serval cat, who inquires about what kind of animal the young girl is. Upon learning that the girl knows neither her name nor identity, Serval dubs her Bag-chan (after the backpack she carries), tells her that they are in a large area called Japari Park, and proposes they journey to the park's library to figure out what kind of animal Bag-chan is. Thus the adventure begins!

With this knowledge in hand, we can now turn our attention to describing the experience of watching the season's biggest sleeper hit. Although the plot summary above promises excitement in the form of adventure, Kemono Friends has more in common with the slice-of-life episodes of Dog Days (another anime featuring a bunch of cute girls with animal ears and tails) than it does with Fullmetal Alchemist. Aside from a short encounter with a mysterious monster called a Cerulean in the premiere, the majority of the show's runtime thus far has been spent dealing with the small problems that arise during Bag-chan and Serval's journey. Along with the Friends they meet along the way, they overcome challenges like crossing a river, charging a battery, and making a mountaintop cafe more visible to flying visitors.

As far as the characters go, nearly all of their (very simplistic) dialogue is focused on their immediate situations (as is fitting for a cast of animals), with only the inventive and curious Bag-chan occasionally asking questions that go beyond basic engagement with the current Friend or problem. And, as they are the lenses through which we the audience experience Japari park, the characters' focus becomes our focus. It's a common device that many such shows utilize to direct audience investment—for example, Nick Creamer's latest article on Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid explains how it's the everday concerns of its characters that define the show's focus—but in Kemono Friends this technique has another effect as well.

Despite the fact that the characters are mostly concerned only with what's in front of them, there are hints here and there that something else lurks beneath the peaceful exterior of Japari Park. The presence of the Ceruleans, the hints dropped that the anthropomorphized Friends used to be just regular animals, the existence of Japari Park's areas and their diverse climates, and the presence of rundown signs and vehicles seem like they should be pointing to some kind of unusual past for the park, but Bag-chan and her companions are far too busy naively ooing and aahing at what they encounter on their adventure to pay much heed to such things. For them, these details are merely interesting facts of their universe—but for those of us who live outside of it, they stand out in contrast to the moe slice-of-life stylings of the Friends' meandering adventures.

The cumulative effect of this dichotomy between the anime's focal point (the Friends' adventures) and the unacknowledged but ever-present specter of its unexamined setting is a rather curious one.

When learning how to draw, new artists are often taught about a concept called "negative space," a term which refers to the space around and between the defined physical presence of the image's subject. For example, let's say you're drawing a coffee pot. The negative space in the image might be the air between the spout and the body of the pot, or the circular gap you can see through the pot's handle. In drawing classes, negative space is often used by teachers as a way of breaking down students' preconceived perceptions of how the object they're drawing is; by drawing the negative space, which they don't consciously recognize, they end up creating the actual object. Negative space is powerful because it implies and defines the meaning of the object—although what that meaning really is isn't always clear, as the famous optical illusion known as Rubin's Vase (two faces or a vase?) demonstrates.

My viewing of first three episodes of Kemono Friends left me with a feeling similar to that of viewing Rubin's Vase. The show—not just visually, but in terms of overall content—is defined as much by the "negative space" within it, the gaps of seeming nothingness as anything else. In a post documenting the response to the show on Japanese social media, some of the wild theories that are being developed about it, and the role of social media in making the show a hit, one blogger even proposed that its script might be called "contentless," a description I feel is apt given the comfortable non-conflicts that make up each episode's story. It's all just so remarkably unremarkable that you can't help but notice all the nothing that's happening.

But what's left in all that space between the uneventful proceedings of the plot is room for a feeling of discomfort and uncertainty to grow. Because so little occupies so much of Kemono Friends, the feeling that there must be more persists. There's probably a good case that such a "more" doesn't exist within the show, but at the same time that the logical brain recognizes there's nothing more to the show than a bunch of CG anime girls with ears talking endlessly about how "fun!" and "interesting!" everything is, a mention of something taken for granted by the show's characters but unexplained to the audience or a shot that seems to warn that something out there is watching our dear Friends on their adventures reignites the feeling that the negative space isn't completely empty. Or, rather, it demands that we fill it with meaning. And it doesn't matter whether Kemono Friends intends any of this or not; the mere presence (or non-presence) of these elements is enough.

The philosopher in me supposes all this might speak of some deep truth about humanity. About an innate need to create meaning out of the things we encounter, just as Serval and the other Friends seek to understand and make sense of their meetings with the creations of mankind. About how the negative space of existence implies with inexorable force upon us that it all has to mean something. Maybe our fascination with this seemingly inane and shoddily produced anime is an indicator of a deep human desire for substance in an ephemeral world. Just as Bag-chan seeks meaning by searching for the kind of animal she is, so we too search for meaning in Kemono Friends. Maybe we need to find out what kind of animal we are.

Or maybe we've all just got a little too much time on our hands. Have too much on yours? Give Kemono Friends a try.

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Isaac eases his compulsive need to write about anime on his blog, Mage in a Barrel. He also sometimes hangs out on Tumblr, where he mainly posts his drawing practice as he seeks to become a renowned idol and robot fanartist. You can follow him on Twitter at @iblessall or on Facebook.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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marcusssanderson · 6 years ago

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Bruce Lee Quotes About Life, Love and Water To Inspire You

Our latest collection of Bruce Lee quotes on Everyday Power Blog.

Bruce Lee, born as Lee Jun Fan on November 27, 1940 in San Francisco, California in the hour and the year of the Dragon, is a well-known actor and martial artist.

Although he was an actor from the age of three months onward, his initially gained popularity for his role in The Green Hornet, a show that aired from 1966-67.

Both of these films received bad reviews from US critics, but broke major box office records in Hong Kong. By 1972, Bruce Lee was a huge celebrity in Asia, despite not being very popular in the states. He began a Hollywood project, Enter the Dragon, but died a month before its release at the age of 32.