#i have like 15 blankets and just as many pillows. it took all damn day

[lightspren]

hm. waking up and still thinking arson might be the better solution to our flea problem.

[workingforthewidow]

“From a Good Place with a Happy Family”

—

Part 1! Part 2!

This story is NSFW and not for minors- if you are under 18 go ask your legal guardian if you can watch the movie.

Okay so I was the silliest of gooses and didn’t realize how far down in the story I had written the birthday chapter. So new plan- a chapter tonight, a chapter Saturday, (maybe a chapter Sunday), and the birthday chapter Monday on their birthday!

So here is part 3 of the Sun to Me series!

Warnings: kidnapping, forced marriage, dub-con, attempted non-con, abuse, Stockholm syndrome, age gap (15 years- K&C are 19 Sinclairs are 33 soon to be 34 yes we will have a birthday party for them). Don’t like it don’t read it,

Not proof read as always lol. I’ll read it tomorrow with a fresh brain and fix any mistakes.

Bo wandered his way down into the underground to Vincent’s studio.

Vincent stopped his work at the sound of Bo walking in. Bo looked around trying to find the other girl.

“Damn Vinny we got some good ones. Got a quick learner up there. Where’s yours? She good too?” He still couldn’t find the other girl. Vincent pointed towards the basically closet sized room attached to his studio that he often slept in. It was easier to have a space close by he could crash on then to walk all the way up to the second story of the house where his actual bedroom was located. He should probably start using it more now that Catherine was with him, it would be good for her to have a real bed over a mattress on the floor.

He took his notepad and wrote down his response to Bo,

~She is learning. She wants to see her sister.~

“Yeah, yeah so does Caroline. Probably should let them see that the other is alive. Hold that carrot out in front of them to keep them in line. Can’t let them be alone though or together too long for now. Can’t have them thinking of ways out. Once they know their place and won’t try anything stupid, we can all be normal. A nice happy family.” Bo smirked, again thinking of his pretty girl upstairs who would make him the happiest man in Louisiana. “Have her up for breakfast. Lester is bringing some supplies in the morning. Gotta get yours in the kitchen to see what she wants. Next time he’ll get what they need.” Bo made his way back to the door but paused looking back at his masked twin. “By the way, if you haven’t figured it out yet, Katie’s an artist. Can’t imagine what’s inked on her skin if Caroline’s is any comparison.”

Vincent just stared at Bo until he left Vincent alone with his thoughts. He had noticed the tattoos on her body when he had changed her out of her dirty clothes when he first brought her to his studio. But he didn’t realize she had done them, or at least some of them. He didn’t think she did the large pieces on her back. He quickly made his way to a stopping point on the figure he was repairing and went to Catherine.

At first he thought she was awake from the way her body tossed and turned under the blanket. But upon closer inspection he realized she was still asleep but it was not peaceful rest. He figured she couldn’t find a comfortable way to lay with her hands cuffed.

He carefully picked her up and made the long trek up to his room in the house watching his step as to not cause the stairs to creak under their combined weight. Finally he arrived at his room and he realized how long it had been since he was here. A thin layer of dust covered most of the furniture. The bed and pillows looked okay. He slowly put Catherine on the bed and covered her up watching as her face scrunched at the new feeling. He worried she might wake up but her face relaxed quickly.

He knew he should take off his mask before trying to sleep, he had learned the many times he fell asleep at his desk that sleeping in the wax caused his skin to itch the next day. But he couldn’t risk her seeing his true self just yet. It was a lose-lose situation. Though if he wanted her to trust and be truthful with him than he should be truthful with her.

He carefully took off the mask, his movements slow and deliberate as if she would wake up screaming as soon as it was off. But of course she didn’t even move. He took off his dirty clothes and changed into a pair of sweatpants. He would get hot but he did not want to put too much of himself out to her too quickly. Once he was fully change he took the handcuff key out of his jeans pocket and undid one side of the cuffs from her right wrist and cuffing it to his own left wrist. If she was attached to him she couldn’t leave with him knowing. He got in bed next to her and stayed on his back stiff as wood. It only took a moment before Catherine curled up to his chest. Her hand landed close to his heart and it started beating even faster.

In her sleep she couldn’t know she was curled against the man holding her against her will. In her dreams she could in bed with the love of her life, a man who truly wooed her in with good looks and charm that Vincent did not have. But he would find a way. Now knowing she was an artist opened a world of possibilities for them. She could help him with the museum. It would get done so much faster then he could on his own. This small glimmer of happiness led his mind to wander down a happier path. A path where Catherine did love him, truly loved him with her heart not just her brain for survival. Bo and Caroline could have their childhood home while he would let Catherine pick from any of the other houses in Ambrose. He would fix it for her however she wanted make it her dream home. There would be a real studio where they could do their art together and a big dining room with enough room for their children. Children who would have her hazel green eyes and chocolate hair. Maybe a daughter with her mother’s long eyelashes and the dimple on her chin that he had noticed Caroline didn’t have on hers. Or a son who he would teach to protect his mother in case Vincent wasn’t there to do it himself. And they would all love him for him. He wouldn’t need to wear his mask anymore, no longer feeling ashamed. It was with these thoughts that he too fell asleep cradling the hand Catherine had subconsciously placed over his heart. A part of his body she now fully owned even though she didn’t know it yet.

—

When Bo had returned, after his talk with Vincent and a sweep through the town to check for visitors, he found the downstairs empty. He noticed the kitchen had been cleaned, so she did wake up at some point. He made his way to the stairs and noticed the living room had been tidied. Not fully cleaned but his empty beer cans and cigarette buds had been throw away and the magazines on the table had been staked. He figured he better hide his porn stash now that he had a lady in the house. No need to look at pictures when the real thing was right there and his for the taking.

The bathroom light was off so he assumed she wasn’t there unless she was real wild and did things in the dark. Just in case he did check hoping to maybe she her half naked again. But he was not so lucky. Which left the bedroom.

He pushed open the door and found her on the bed under the blanket, on her stomach, with her head turned to the door and her eyes closed. When he got closer he could tell she was sleeping. He was about to head back to the bathroom to shower when a pile of pink caught his eye in the corner near the dresser. He bent down to inspect it and picked up the lump of fabric. It was her dress he had told her wear and when he picked it up her bra fell from it. He looked back to the bed and tried to determine from where he was if she had anything on under the blanket. He didn’t have her suitcase here, it was still in his shop, so she either had on nothing but her panties or she had stolen some of his clothes. He prayed for the first choice as he gently peeled the blanket from her shoulder. He found himself smirking hard when he saw her in one of his old black cotton shirts. It was big on her, would probably hit her mid thigh when she stood up. It had rolled up her back from her moving in her sleep giving him a nice few of her ass barely covered in the cheeky pink lace panties he had her wear. It took everything in his power to control himself and not grab her now.

No, he had to go somewhat slow with her. He threw her dress back to the ground and pulled some clean clothes from his dresser going into the bathroom to shower off the day. His mama always said a girl never likes it when her husband comes to bed dirty from work. And Bo wanted to make sure his girl was happy. He showered quickly and walked back to the bedroom. Caroline was still where he had left her.

He was able to close the door when he saw a flash of moment towards Vincent’s room and saw the door close. Good they were closer together in case one of the girls tried to get smart on them.

Bo tried to be quiet as he got into bed but he couldn’t help the sigh that escaped when he finally sat down. He had been walking around Ambrose all day figuring things out for his girl.

He felt the bed move slightly and a hand come to his shoulder from behind along with a soft sleepy whisper, “Bo, come to bed darlin’. Cold without you.” She was sitting up behind him her long hair a bit wild from sleep. She looked like a damn dream to him, so sweet and innocent. Just like she should be.

Bo swore his pride swelled bigger than it ever had before. She was a damn fast learner knowing just what he wanted to hear.

“I’m here baby. I’ll get ya nice and warm.” He finally laid down and she pressed herself into his chest inhaling the scent of his soap. His hand went into her hair and gently brushed through it. “You did good today baby girl. Proud of you, learnin’ your place so fast. Like you were born to be mine.” He praised and kissed the top of her head. “So good in fact you get a present in the morning.”

At the mention of a present her eyes opened wider. “A present?” Was it Katie? Was he gonna let her see Katie? This whole act was making her sick and she desperately wanted to see her twin.

Bo laughed and wrapped his arm tight around her, “Yeah baby. Gonna have a nice family breakfast. You and me, Vincent and Katie, and even Les. He’s real jazzed to meet ya. I told ya if you’re good for me I’ll give you whatever your sweet little heart wants” His hand had started to travel up and down her back softly lulling her back to sleep along with his sweet words.

—

Warmth, the warmth that only sunbeams could give you. That’s what Katie woke up to, that and a hard chest rising and falling under her cheek. Her eyes slowly opened, wanting nothing more than to close again and sleep a few more hours. She was somewhere new. This wasn’t the place she had fallen asleep. She tried to pull herself to sit up but an arm around her waist stopped her.

“Stay.” It was low and rough like the vocal chords hadn’t been used in a while and struggled to be used. She was sure if she hadn’t been right under his chin she would have missed it. The first time she had heard him speak. So he wasn’t completely mute like she thought. She followed the order and stayed against his chest. She even closed her eyes again. She could feel him stretching like he was grabbing something near him.

After a few moments his hand took her chin and moved her to look up to him. The mask. He must have taken off to sleep and didn’t want her to see his face.

She also noticed she had a free hand but the other had been attached to him. Well, this was better than the metal collar. He finally released her face from his hold, letting her sit up fully, and undid the lock on the cuffs. She rubbed her wrist where it had cut into her skin during the night.

“Thank you,Vincent.” The first time she had said his name and it sounded like an angel choir. He touched her face again looked into her eyes like he was trying to commit them to memory. It was only then she noticed he had only one blue eye behind his mask. The other seemed to be an empty socket, so he was hiding something under his mask.

He just nodded back to her and stood up holding his hand out to her. Taking his hand he helped her up from the bed. He gestured to the corner and she saw her clothes hanging in the small closet. He must be an insomniac and spent most of the night transferring her things to this room. It must be his bedroom at his home.

Walking closer she noticed he had arranged them in a certain way. Her dresses were front and center in the middle and everything else was pushed as far back into the wall as possible.

“I take it you like the dresses best?” She looked over her shoulder and saw him nod. Well good thing she had packed a few of them. She heard him open a drawer and assumed he was looking for his own clothes. She took one of the simpler t-shirt style dresses, a soft sky blue that went to her knees. Luckily her suitcase sat on the floor of the closet holding her undergarments. Taking a breath she thought about asking if she could go to the bathroom and change or at least have some privacy but that seemed like a big ask. So she took another deeper breath and peeled off the clothes she had been wearing before and put on her new bra and panties as fast as she could. Just as she was about to pull the dress over her head she felt hands on her back. He was tracing her tattoos.

“My dad designed that one. He was a painter. I always loved the mermaid and siren stories so he painted a big mural on my bedroom wall for my 10th birthday. Couldn’t fit the whole thing on my body so I just did their bodies, the mural was a whole underwater scene even had a shipwreck.” She explained as she felt his hand tracing over the two faces that looked eerily similar to her and her sister. Though while one was conventionally pretty with soft big waved curls and plump soft looking lips, the other hair was straight and her sinister smile revealed pointed sharp teeth. “Caroline’s the mermaid, I’m the siren.”

His hands left her body after a few more traces and she paused a moment longer before pulling her dress on. When she turned around she noticed her dress and his shirt matched. She wondered if he did that on purpose. She was about to ask but before she could open her mouth he turned his notepad to her.

~Aren’t mermaids and sirens the same creature?~

His question made Katie giggle, “A common misconception. Well I guess depends on what lore you believe. The stories my parents told us made them different. Mermaids are kind and beautiful. They can grant wishes and keep sailors safe from the sea. Whereas sirens are just as beautiful, if not more, but they lure sailors to their deaths. They are the demons whereas mermaids are the angels basically.”

Vincent slightly shook his head, his Catherine was no demon. She was an angel on earth. His angel on earth sent to save him from himself.

He was lost in thought and barely registered she had stepped closer until he heard the angel choir of her saying his name. Once he realized she was speaking he came back into reality.

“Can I fix my hair? Brush my teeth? Please.” Be nice and maybe he’ll keep being nice. Vincent nodded and took her hand. They walked a short distance down the hallway to a bathroom. Caroline’s things were sitting on a shelf next to hers. Caroline was in this house somewhere. “Thank you.”

He stood still in the doorway and she realized he would be watching her the whole time. She made quick work of brushing her teeth and carefully took her hair out of the braids he had made the night before. Her hair came out in waves from being held tight all night. She brushed through her hair and looked to him. He had seemed to like to make some decisions on how she looked. “I can braid my hair again. If thats how you like it. Or leave it down.”

Vincent took a step closer and stood behind her taking her hair in his hands. So she wouldn’t be doing her own hair for a while. He brushed through it with his fingers like he couldn’t decide what he wanted to do. He paused and let her hair fall through his fingers. He then stepped out of the room and held up his hand.

“Stay. I understand.” She watched has he walked back down the hall into a different room. He returned shortly with blue ribbon in hand. He returned to his position behind her and took her hair again. He pulled it up at the sides in a half up ponytail and started to tie the ribbon in it. “It won’t hold like that.” She said without thinking then pressed her lips together worried what his reaction could be.

His masked gaze met hers in the mirror and she could tell he was waiting for her to continue. She picked up one the black elastics from her bag and held it to him, “The ribbon will just fall off no matter how tight you tie it. Secure it with the elastic first then you can tie the ribbon over it. Um, like this.” She carefully raised her hands to cover his and he let her take over, nearly shivering when her soft hands touched his rough ones. She twisted the elastic around her hair and tightened it shaking her head to make sure it stayed in place. “Now you can add the ribbon over it for looks. Ribbons are pretty but not practical when it comes to holding hair.”

He tied the ribbon around her hair and made a bow in it adding even more innocence to his angel. Once he was done he pulled her close to his chest and seemed to stare at her through the mirror. Like she was float away if he didn’t keep a tight grip and his eyes on her.

“I CAN HEAR YOU UP THERE. GET DOWN HERE FOR BREAKFAST BEFORE I’M LATE.” Bo’s shout floated up the stairs and Katie swore she could see Vincent roll his one eye.

“How can he be late if he’s the boss and there’s no one in this town to be late for?” Katie asked as Vincent lead her to the stairs but he stopped abruptly at her question. She had already noticed no one was around. “It’s easy to see this town isn’t booming with people.” She explained. This town wasn’t even on the map. The girls were only able to stumble upon by pure chance. Vincent stored in the information in his mind to make note to talk to Bo about this later.

Vincent took her down the stairs into the kitchen. And finally, oh finally, she saw, sitting in the lap of her captor, her sister. From the looks of her she was okay. No broken bones or visible large cuts.

“Katie!” “Caroline!” They spoke at the same time and ran to each other embracing in a tight hug.

—

“Wake up, baby girl. Got lots to do today.” Bo’s voice pulled Caroline awake. His hand was rubbing soft circles on her back and he was place gentle kisses to her forehead. She opened her eyes and looked up to him. “Good morning, baby.”

“Good morning,” she smiled, remembering to play her game right so she could see Katie. She moved up slightly moving her hand to cup his cheek before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

Bo could barely hold back a moan, “Baby, you’re playing with fire. I was gonna try and go slow with you but you keep kissing up on me I might speed things up.” His hand went to her ass and he traced the line of her panties. “But we have things to do today. Lester will be here soon and I saw Vinny bringing your sister up to his room last night. So the faster things get ready the faster you can see her.” Caroline nearly threw herself off the bed but Bo caught her.

“Slow down, don’t need a broken ankle.” He chuckled and stood up still holding her. Out of instinct she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. “Gotta get dressed and look real pretty for me. Stopped at the shop last night and got your stuff for ya. Picked a pretty dress for my pretty girl.” He whispered in her ear and gently nipped at her ear lob with his teeth. He sat her down letting her feet hit the floor with a soft thud. She started to move towards the clothes but he grabbed her face in both hands and pulled her to him. She had to stand on her tip toes so he wouldn’t rip her head off her neck.

“Didn’t tell ya you could change clothes last night baby. Next time you do something without asking or me tellin’ ya, I’m gonna throw you over my lap and punish you like you deserve. I should’ve come home to my pretty little wife in her pretty pink little dress waiting for her husband to take if off her. Understand?” It scared her how fast he was able to flip flop his emotions and his tone. His words had come out almost in a growl. She would never know that he actually enjoyed the sight of her in his shirt, it was good for her have a healthy fear of him.

“Yes, sir, I understand. I’m sorry.” Tear stared to sting in her eyes. What if he didn’t let her see Katie after this. She thought it would be fine and he’d like that she was in his clothes with barely anything underneath.

He lowered her back down and kissed her forehead, “Good girl. Such a fast learner. Gotta make it up to me though baby. Come ‘ere.” He sat down in the chair in the corner of the room next to where he had piled her clothes for the day. She trailed behind him and gasps when he pulled her into his lap. She could feel his hard length threw the the boxers he had worn to bed. He said he was gonna take it slow but maybe his definition of slow and hers were different.

‘Oh no, please God no. Not like this.’ Her body tensed, fear filling her.

His hands grabbed the edge of the shirt she was wear and pulled it up. She raised her arms reminding herself to play along, ‘Just play along so you can find Katie and get out’. Once it was off he threw it to the floor and glared at her breast. Of course a breeze would blow threw just at that time making her nipples go hard. Bo’s hands trailed up her stomach until his hands cupped her.

“Beautiful. Knew I got a good one with you, baby.” He bent down and licked between her breast before moving to the left and biting down. She shrieked at the sudden pain running through her body. “Gotta mark what’s mine baby girl.” He smirked and kisses the bite mark. “Get dressed. You got one minute. Whatever isn’t on in one minute you don't get to wear today. We’ll call that your punishment for today.” He moved her from his lap and stared at her. “Clocks ticking baby.”

Caroline moved quickly grabbing at the pile of clothes next to him. She took a deep breath and realized she wouldn’t be getting privacy and knew he’d like a show. So she slid her panties down leaving her exposed to him. She could tell he like it by the whistle he let out and the way he rubbed his groin.

The first thing she grabbed was her bra trying to make quick work of putting it on before slipping into the blue dress he had gotten for her. It was plain, just a t-shirt dress, Katie had the same one. She was about to grab underwear when she realized there weren’t any in the stack of clothes. Before she could ask about Bo grabbed her hand.

“Time’s up baby. Looks like I have good access today.” He smirked and let his hand slip under her dress. His fingers ghosting over her thigh towards her center. He didn’t go further, this time. But she wondered how long it would take today for him to finally touch her, to take everything from her. “Let’s go. You wanna see Katie, yeah?”

Her attitude changed and she nodded happily. Everything would be okay if she was with Katie. Bo kept his eyes on her has he got dressed into his work clothes. Once he was ready he picked her up again and carried her down the stairs.

They made it to the kitchen and found Lester was waiting for them.

“Mornin’ Bo, ma’am.” Lester smiled sipping his coffee from his spot at the table. Bo nodded to him before opening a cabinet to reveal coffee cups. He sat down and tapped his finger on the table. Caroline took that as her cue to get him coffee. She took the first cup she saw, standard white mug, and poured the coffee she assumed Lester had brewed. She sat the cup in front of him and went to take the chair next to him but Bo pulled her onto his lap.

“Les, this is Caroline. Ain’t she a beauty?” Bo’s hand went to her thigh and his fingers drummed against her skin.

Lester blushed a little and laughed, “She’d win Miss Ambrose for sure.”

It was Caroline’s turn to blush, she was use to attention due to her looks it was normal for her but this was different. Nothing about this was normal.

“Bo?” She twisted in his lap so she could look at him. He hummed at her taking a drink of his coffee. “Do you… do you want me to make breakfast?”

He put his cup down and rubbed his hand up and down her leg, “Not today baby. Lester got some for us.” He gestured to the table and she took in the take away boxes.

Lester nodded and pushed one towards her, “Didn’t know what you wanted but no one can turn down pancakes and eggs, yeah?”

She was going to respond in thanks when a door was heard closing upstairs. After a few moments Bo shouted for the people upstairs to hurry up.

Katie. That had to be Katie upstairs.

Footsteps were heard coming down the stairs and finally a pair came into view. From her spot on Bo’s lap she looked her sister up and down. She looked okay. Katie was okay, physically at least.

“Katie!” “Caroline!” They spoke at the same time and ran to each other embracing in a tight hug.

“Okay break it up, a man has to eat before work.” Bo stood and pulled Caroline back to his lap while Vincent took his own seat taking Katie down with him.

Katie then noticed the other man at the table and he smiled at her.

“I’m Lester. Youngest brother. Nice to meet you Katie. Got breakfast.” Oh Katie liked him already. He was already nicer than the twins. But she knew better than to trust straight away. Wolves can hide in sheep’s clothings.

“Nice to meet you too.” She smiled and took the take away box he offered opening it to see pancakes and scrambled eggs.

Bo and Lester started eating while Vincent sat still behind her, with the exception of his hand tracing the tattoos on her thighs. She looked to Caroline and started moving her hands as discreetly as she could manage. Their father had been deaf so the girls were fluent in American Sign Language. It wasn’t easy to do discreetly but hopefully the points would get across.

K= you okay?

C= yes you?

K= yes. It wont be easy to get out of here.

C= no we have to play their game.

K= i know. Did you get sleep? I got a few hours.

C= same, hopefully can take a nap later? We are matching by the way.

Katie looked down to realize they did indeed have the same dress on. Before she could reply back both girls hands were grabbed by the men behind them.

“The fuck are you doing girl?” Bo hissed through his teeth at Caroline while Vincent squeezed Katie’s hand tighter.

Katie was quick to respond, “Sorry. Our dad, he was deaf so thats how we communicated to each other at home. Mama didn’t want us to lose our skill so we weren’t allowed to talk in the house. Only sign unless it was an emergency. If we talked we could get sent to bed.” Vincent released her hands hearing her words.

Caroline looked to Bo and smiled softly “I’m sorry Bo.” He grabbed her thigh and nodded.

“Hmmm. Could be useful for ya Vinny. Don’t have to write everything down.” Caroline stilled him lap hearing that, “What?” Bo spat at her.

“Well umm, a big part of ASL is using facial expressions as tone. Since there is no vocal chances to convey tone you use expressions. Um, so yes we can teach you and it would help. Just wouldn’t be fluent.”

“I mean it won’t be too bad. His body language is easy to read.” Katie said turning to Vincent. “It won’t be easy, leaning a new language never is but I’ll help you.” She tried to smile barely holding back the nauseated feeling rising in her throat. Now they knew the girls could communicate without speaking meant they would be watching them closely. That would make getting out of here even harder.

“We’ll start practicing tonight after dinner. Now hush up and eat. I have to go.” Bo’s tone made it clear talking time was over. The girls both took their food and ate in silence.

Once they were done Bo stood, letting Caroline slid to her feet next to him, and nodded to Vincent. “Once you girls get use to the rules, you’ll stay home and do your wifely duties. But for now you’re coming with us. Gotta make sure everything’s alright with the town and all. Go upstairs and get your shoes baby. Grounds gonna be hot out there.” His came down to smack her ass prompting her to run upstairs. Vincent stood Katie up and nodded towards the stair signaling her to do the same. Neither he nor Bo realized they had just let the girls have time alone until about a minute after they went upstairs.

“Fuck.” Bo slapped the table making it shake and made his way to the stairs with Vincent hot on his heels.

A few minutes of alone time. Just barely 2 minutes if they were lucky. The girls ran into the rooms that held their suitcases and slipped the sandals they had with them before meeting in the hall.

C= what the fuck is going on?!?! Is he calling you his wife too?

K= yes! I don’t know everything that’s going on but its obvious these men are crazy. This town is empty. It’s just them here.

C= how can that be? There’s power and running water?

K= again I don’t know but for we just play along. All Mama’s training being put to use finally.

Caroline laughed quietly. C= did you even pay attention during junior league?

“Nope not doing that! You should know better baby.” Bo’s voice full of anger sounded from behind Caroline just as his hands grabbed her waist and he dragged her to the bedroom. Her fight or flight kicked in and she kicked at his legs and dug her nails into his arms. Vincent did the same to Katie but instead of the bedroom he carried her down to the studio. The whole time she was kicking and screaming trying to get free.

Lester was no where to be seen

[problematicfanfics]

hey i got groped on friday night at the club in a “business casual” fit, sexually assaulted on a date tuesday wearing jorts and a loose t shirt, and then had to evacuate campus for hurricane helene bc we’re in flood zone A. now im staying with my uncle aunt and 12/11 year old cousins. i literally got no complete alone time to process what the fuck happened

the night i got sexually assaulted i basically just called up my friends and was like “hey date went like shit let’s go drink together!” but i genuinely just needed to get violently drunk and high. so i did very successfully. 12 heads in a singles dorm room space after downing copious amounts of wine, liquor, and weed while playing beer pong one floor above us. i took a ten minute nap before we went to mcdonald’s and when i woke up, i asked everyone if we were still going (it was 5 am and we said we were going for the breakfast menu), and they all said “bro none of us can fuckin walk” so i went back to bed.

tell me why i wake up at 7 am sharp, in the same clothes i was SAd in the day before, sleeping in my suitemate’s bed with her? i woke up to her face and i was like “yo why we sleepin together?? wait why am i in her bed???” so i got up to piss then walked into my room to get in my own bed.

i walk in to see my mattress topper halfway off my bed. i tried to push it back on but it wouldn’t budge. i’m like “damn i’m mad hungover if i can’t move a piece of foam.” i reach onto my bed to move my ikea bear (the really big one, i love him) and i fucking find my friend sleeping under it??

i start dying. like actually crying laughing. he gets up and he’s completely coherent he’s like “bro why you laughing?” i’m like “dude i didn’t know you slept in my bed what the fuck happened?” bc he’s literally one floor above us?? why didn’t u walk up one flight of stairs and walk ten steps to ur room? he’s like “well u went to bed in suitemate’s bed so i took yours” WHAT?? so i was like “go back to bed bro” and went back to sleep in my suitemate’s bed.

i wake up again at 9 am and go back into my bedroom to see how my bro’s doing.

tell me how my entire mattress topper was on the floor. the entirety of it. and he was still under seven blankets, my five throw pillows and the stupid bear.

he wakes up and my suitemate’s tells me ANOTHER MF was asleep in my room ON MY RUG. he left at like 6:50 am to walk back to the other side of campus to his room. i felt so bad like he could’ve stayed and i would’ve made him a comfier lil bed :(

at 10 am we all get a notif that we need to be off campus out of our rooms by 1. i’m tweaking, bc my uncle is the one who was picking me up and he didn’t get out of work until 5:30, plus 15-20 min to drive and pick me up, plus the hurricane weather, i wasn’t scooped until 6.

the friend who slept in my bed and i sat in the lobby and waited for his friend w a car to show up so we could at least get out of the school area for now. we went to get sushi, shit was buss. i explained to bro wit da car that i wasn’t getting scooped until at least 5:40 and he was like “nah it’s chill dawg we ain’t in a rush to get to the house we’ll chill w u” so i hung w them until 3pm when his aunt called him and told him he needed to go to the house bc of the storm.

so they dropped me BACK OFF AT THE SCHOOL. WITH MY STUPID SUITCASE. WITH MY SUSHI AND A HAT I STOLE OFF THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. i was tweaking. freaking out, even. i still had 2 hours

they left and bc florida is florida, it was super fucking sunny and warm out. so i sat at one of the many outdoor tables we have.

and of course about 30 min later it starts pouring something fierce. i get soaked. i call up my friend and was like “fuck yall for leaving me in the rain” he’s like “bro i’m sorry i didn’t know it would start raining” YEAH ME NEITHER BUT BRO CMONNNN U COULDVE SAVED ME.

i find a small little indent in my dorm building to hide in w no cameras and i change my shirt. i was still wearing the exact same fit from the entire school day prior. i didn’t even have time to change my clothes by the time i cleaned up all the alcohol left out (which was essential, because they did room checks to make sure everyone was evacuated) and packed my bag properly to go stay w my fam.

same pants, unwashed hair body or face, sunglasses bc of how violently high i got in the morning to forget my week, and sopping wet socks. eating hours old sushi in the outdoor mechanics closet of my dorm.

BUT I STILL LOOKED FLY AS FUCK BC THE SECURITY GUARD COMPLIMENTED MY FIT WHEN HE CAME TO ASK IF I WAS OK 🗣️🗣️🗣️😤����😤

anyways i’m still tweaking. i’m like actually just not ok rn. and the worst part is i enjoyed my weekend so fucking much. it was amazing and i was so happy how my life was turning around for the better, with a nice normal man (unheard of in my life), a good friend group, and doing decent in my classes. i hung out w a bunch of new people, met some old friends from the beginning of the year, never did too much drugs (even tho it takes a lot for anything to hit me anymore so it’s not hard to avoid, and i don’t enjoy that feeling)

i had so much fun, my friends were pulling cute people, i pulled a decent guy. and im just so mad because i pride myself in how good i am at reading people. and im always so cautious. it just makes me spiral because like i’ve spent my entire life making sure it doesn’t happen again and it DOES. like i do so much to protect myself. i literally don’t even have romantic attractions so every date i go on is like a “ok you’re a good person maybe we can make something work” thing, never like a love at first sight/i actively want to be with you thing, AND I LITERALLY TELL THEM THAT. AND I TELL THEM I DONT FUCK. SO HOW DO I WIN?

i’ll never win 🥲

[ah-ga-seven]

No More Pain | Jung Jaehyun

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x Fem!reader 

Synopsis: The lingering wounds of your miscarriage have reopened. Now that you are broken up, an unforseen change in Jaehyun’s life has brought him back to your doorstep. Will he be able to fix you this time? Or will he fail just the same as before?

Genre: Angst, One Shot. 

Warnings: mentions of the reader having a miscarriage, depression, alcohol addiction and heartbreak.

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Probably one of the heaviest angsts I’ve written. I know the subject is rough but the idea came from a dream so I just had to write it down.

This was a different kind of pang to your heart.

You’ve had your fair share of tragedies, heartbreaks and disappointments, but this…

This feeling was nothing like anything you’ve ever felt before and quite frankly, you wouldn’t wish this upon your greatest enemy.  

It was a Thursday night, one like many where you decided to stay in and recharge from a busy day at your demanding job.

You were seated on your couch with a hot cup of tea as you mindlessly scrolled through your Instagram feed. Completely wrapped in the warmth of your favorite fleece blanket. But even the thick fluffy material couldn’t protect you from the cold shivers that ran down your spine.

You blankly stare at the post your best friend forwarded to you via dm and stiffened.  

Memories of the night you miscarried 4 months into your pregnancy flood back to you as you stare at his comment.

You remembered how broken he looked when the doctor couldn’t find the baby's heartbeat anymore.  

You remembered how he held you as you cried in his arms, promising that he’d love you just the same as he tried to console you to his best ability while suffering himself.

You remembered the pain and the relief of having Jaehyun by your side through it all. Glad that even though your life was about to change forever, he’d be the one constant thing you could rely on.

You remembered all of these moments like they happened yesterday, wishing future you could mentally prepare past you for what was going to be the hardest time in your life.  

The man who swore never to leave you did just that, and not even 6 months into his new relationship, your biggest insecurity was made into a reality.  

He had moved on for good, and even though you have no ill feelings towards him, you can’t help but feel anger over sadness right now.  

It was that easy to replace you. And that easy for him to find someone that could give him what you couldn’t.

Even though your miscarriage wasn’t the direct cause of why he left, the effects of the incidence on your mental health dragged him down with you. So both of you felt it’d be better to part ways for the sake of not wanting to hate or resent each other in the end.  

But God…you hated and resented him now more than ever.  

It didn’t matter to you that both of you started to date new people, because a part of you always held on to the fact that you’d somehow find your way back to each other, though the probability of that ever happening again turned to ash.

Your miscarriage broke you.  

No appetite for weeks, no motivation to get yourself out of bed and no cure for the monsters in your head who told you that Jaehyun was only sticking around out of pity for your broken state.

That same insecurity is what drove him into the arms of the women he told you not to worry about, and now they’re having a fucking child together.  

Knowing that that should’ve been you was a thought that was just too much to bear right now. You suddenly feel sick to your stomach, tears prickling your eyes as you rub the spot on your belly where the mini bump used to be 8 months ago.

You were finally doing better, thriving in your job and social life. Meeting new people and dating a few loose ends here and there, but you can already feel yourself spiraling back into old depressional habits as you stare at the picture once more.  

You pettily decide to like it, hoping it would spark interest from none other than your ex, and much to your surprise, it did.

Not even 20 minutes later your phone started to buzz on the counter as you poured yourself a glass of wine. You mindlessly retrieve it, expecting it to be your best friend but when you see his name as you take a sip you almost choke.

Is he serious?

You try to come up with what to say for the next 3 to 5 minutes but nothing in your head seems to translate your exact feelings to your fingertips.

You sigh in agony while leaning over on your kitchen counter with your phone still in your hands, reading his messages over and over again. You subconsciously start to bite your lip in deep thought, getting startled by your ringtone as your phone starts to ring in your grasp.

“Fuck,” you mumble to yourself, taking a big chug of the alcoholic beverage in front of you, putting on the bravest face and straightest posture to make yourself feel better before accepting the call.  

You knew you didn’t have to answer, but you were dying to hear what he had to say under these circumstances.  

“Y/N? Is that you?” His voice was unchanged. You didn’t know why, but you expected him to sound different, be different. Yet the same worry he’s always had for you was evident in his tone this time as well.

You clear your throat to avoid a voice crack and sigh. “Congratulations,” you tried to sound as genuine as you could, but you knew you sounded like shit.  

You start to play with the ends of your hair out of anxious anticipation, waiting for him to respond on the other end of the line.  

“I meant to tell you,” he starts. “I just…I didn’t know how and Chaeyoung suddenly uploaded the picture and-”

“Jae…please spare me the details,” you interrupt him. Saying his name like you used to felt like speaking a foreign language. He stayed quiet upon hearing your voice again and let out a frustrated sigh.

“Do you still live in the same apartment in Itaewon?” he suddenly asks, immediately alerting you to stand up straight because he could only be asking for one reason and one reason only.

“Y-yes.”

“Good, I’m on my way.”

Just like that, he hung up and just like that your heart rate starts to race uncontrollably.  

You down the remnants of your wine glass and hope he’s isn’t too close because your place looked far from neat. For the next 15 minutes, you run around, shoving things into random cabinets. Whether those items belonged there or not was the least of your concern and just as you fluff the last pillow on your couch, your doorbell rings.

You take a deep breath, calming your nerves as you walk up to your front door, taking it off the lock before you open it with a dramatic swing.

There he was. Jung Jaehyun.

As beautiful and put together as he always looked, no matter the circumstance. You forget how to breathe when you lay eyes on him and gulp. It’s actually him.

His big dark orbs widened as he laid eyes on you after months of not seeing you. His facial expression softened, slowly parting his lips to speak but you beat him to it when you broke out of your trance.  

“What are you doing here?” your shoulders fall as you look into his eyes for answers. The same eyes that once looked at you with so much love and adoration, but right now his pupils were stressfully darting back and forth, trying to read you like he used to be able to but he had no idea what you were feeling right now.

“Because I feel like shit y/n. Please let me in and let me explain,” he pleaded with a defeated tone.

You scoff, rolling your eyes. “What is there to explain? You knocked up your girlfriend and finally got what you wanted. Why bother coming here? To rub it into my face?”  

Your plan of staying calm and collected went completely out the window just now and you could tell by the shock on his face that he did not expect you to be angry with him.

He took a step forward, backing you into your own hallway. His height towered over you when you stepped back and without looking back he closed the door behind him.

“Y/n. I would never purposely do that to you. Ever.” You ignore his statement, narrowing your eyes at him.

“I don’t remember inviting you in Jaehyun. Does she even know you’re here?”

You hold your ground, crossing your arms over your chest as you wait for him to counter your attack, but he simply shook his head. Knowing damn well that you’re acting tough just so you won’t get emotional.  

As he’s scanning the premises, his eyes linger on the red wine bottle on your kitchen counter and with a look of utter disbelief, he averts his attention back on you.

“You’re drinking again?” he asks with an almost condescending tone.  

“Did you come here to practice your parenting skills because no thanks Jae, please leave,” you bite back as coldly as you could, but he wasn’t having it.

“That shit almost killed you and you’re just casually drinking again?” He runs his hand through his locks out of pure frustration, not knowing what to do with the misplaced feeling of still caring for you just the same, while also knowing he has no business to tell you how to live your life.

The truth is, Jaehyun had no idea what he was doing here. Everything about the situation felt wrong and he couldn’t lie to himself any longer. Ever since Chaeyoung told him she was pregnant; he couldn’t be fully happy about it. He couldn’t commit to fatherhood knowing how much it broke your relationship. How much it broke the women he loved most to this day.

“A little red wine didn’t hurt anyone,” you mumble under your breath and that comment alone send Jaehyun’s emotions into overdrive, unable to hide his disappointment and worry for you any longer.

“IT HURT YOU Y/N. DAMN IT!” He raised his voice at you as he roughly grabbed your arm to make you look at him, which is the last thing you expected. He wasn’t mad at you. He was mad at himself. Mad at the fact that he wasn’t there when you needed him most and mad at the fact that this is what your lives had come to.

You might have previously dealt with your pain by drinking, and you might have mindlessly mixed your anti-depressants with your drink once, which…just might have earned you a trip to the hospital, but that was your lowest low and you made sure it’d never happen again.

You beat your demons by yourself when he had already moved on, so he had no place to waltz back into your life when he felt like it, just to judge you.

You’re absolutely fuming by now because of that same reason and much to your dismay you feel new tears well up in your eyes.  

“NO, YOU HURT ME!” you yell back at him as you smack his chest, the salty droplets streaming down your face as you kept hitting his chest to make him feel your pain. “YOU LEFT ME.”

Your knees got weak and you knew you looked absolutely pathetic as you crouched down in front of him. Shock took over his features as he got down on his own knees just as quickly, pulling you into the comfort of his arms. The warmth that you used to call home and the warmth that always seemed to calm you down engulfed you completely, a feeling your favorite fleece blanket from before could hardly imitate.  

He patted your head with assuring strokes, whispering sweet nothings to you as he held you on the floor of your apartment. Letting you sob the pain away in his black shirt. “Shhh, it’s okay…” he kissed the top of your head, caressing your cheek as he wiped away your tears.

You calmed down slowly, ignoring the suffocating ache in your head and heart while he made you feel safe and sound like he always did. You sat there like that for God knows how long, letting your minds go into overdrive as silence comforted the both of you.  

Ironically enough, this scenery was the exact same as the one in the hospital 8 months ago. You cried in his arms just like this when you had lost your child, but now you were crying because you had lost him. For good now.  

“I would never purposely plan to have a baby this quickly y/n, you have to believe me. Chae was on birth control but it just…happened,” he whispers, finally breaking the agonizing silence.

You stay quiet, closing your eyes to the sound of his low voice, letting his words register. “I was going to tell you. I was planning to ask you out for a coffee but as soon as she passed her first trimester, she was just so excited and made the announcement…it was just bad timing.”

“All of this is bad timing,” you mumble, which made him nod in agreement. He sighed into your hair as he continued to explain. “Y/n, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t care for you anymore. I wish things were different, but they simply aren’t and I’m sorry.”

You sniff, dabbing your tears and your nose with the sleeves of your blouse before looking up at him through your lashes.

“You don’t have to apologize for moving on and being happy Jaehyun. It’s all I ever wanted for you.” You wipe the single tear that remained on the corner of his eye, not having realized that he shed a few tears himself too.

He leaned into your touch as he looked into your eyes before closing them, leaning his forehead onto yours while taking a deep breath.  

“I just want you to be ok.” He says suppressing a sob. “I can’t live this picture-perfect life knowing that you’re in pain y/n. It makes no sense; you deserve so much more it’s not fair.”  

Your lip starts to quiver as his words hit you, and you build up the courage to look at him again.  

He stared at you longingly and lovingly for the first time since forever and you knew a mistake was about to be made when he inched his face closer to you, but it was too late.

His lips made contact with yours and you completely gave in. Letting him lead you into a slow yet passionate kiss that took both of your breaths away.  Before things could get more heated, you realize what was happening and froze.

You take a hold of his wrists as you pull away, your eyes staring into his equally electrified ones as you recompose yourselves.

“I-I’m sorry,” he started. “I should’ve never confused you like that. Fuck. What the fuck am I doing.” He covers his mouth as he got up. Frustrated with his own behavior, he digs his fingernails into the palms of his hands to suppress the urge to swing at your door or any other object in sight for that matter.

You get up just as quickly as well. Straightening out your clothes before shaking off the nerves of what just happened.  

You take a deep breath followed by a shaky exhale as you opened your front door, turning around on your heels to look at an equally distressed Jaehyun.

He was about to speak; about to confess that he still loved you, but you stopped him by raising your hand, motioning for him to keep whatever he was about to say to himself.

Your eyes find his own and you take one last glance at the man that was supposed to be the pillar to your family. The man you used to call yours, and the man that you had hoped to still have a future with, despite everything.  

But you knew better.

You knew what was right and you knew what you had to do before things would start to spiral out of control again.

You stepped aside so he could pass by you, trying to avoid eye contact all while you could still feel his burning stare lingering on your fragile state.

You swallow harshly, licking your lips before you spoke as clearly and steadily as you could.

“For the sake of your family, please leave Jae…and never come back.”  

[ahjustroza]

Do you have any hcs abt Last Legacy modern au?

Sorry for the wait! I just write very slow 🥺😭 btw I am still writing other requests! I'll post them as soon as I finish writing ✨😌😏 And YES I still take requests😏😏😏

Lol btw I haven't played the catboy Felix tale yet but found his delicious CG. Also, there might be typos etc. My dyslexia was a hoe for the last couple of days (･_･

Last Legacy Modern Au Headcanons

Sage

Lmao the first time you went to his place you faced with an ancient-looking old computer that he found in a garage sale

"It still works"

"Sage with its monitor alone you can heat your entire house in winter"

"Aye, but I don't have to use that to get heated if you catch my drift."

Let me give you a concept: thrift store dates

You took him to a thrift store once and thought it might be fun

But at the moment you entered the store Sage found a damn fake fur jacket and gold sunglasses

He will buy anything with a famous brand logo and say it is original and is an antique

But he'll only do that to annoy people

Mostly.

Sage cares about his looks but doesn't go crazy about it

Before dating you he just lived his life like a street kid like in cyberpunk 2077

Sage and Tulsi grew up in slums and then Sage got an apartment so that Tulsi could grow up in a safe environment

He didn't go to college but made sure that Tulsi did

Sage basically works as a mercenary in the modern au as well

He travels a lot and has to disappear for a looong long time

Tulsi is used to it but you aren't

Once you two are in a relationship and he feels ready to settle down he might get a job closeby to your shared house

You made him realize that he needs his family around him

And now he is not alone to carry all the burden by himself

He knows that if he can't make it in time you will be there to help out Tulsi or take care of all the work for him

He feels lighter around you

Also, he makes many people jealous on the streets lol

Whenever you two are on a date no one can believe that you, a literal divine being, could look at a Boku no pico catboy maid-sama man like him.

He is also jealous of you

But never possessive

He likes to send you out of context memes in the worst possible times ever

Like you got Luigi and Mario animations, doing the waltz, with the Britney Spears' Toxic song during the busiest hour of your shift

He also texted "This us"

The audacity

Sage would also LOVE video games

Especially Final Fantasy games

But he suck at playing them so he makes you play instead

And he'll give instructions too

"I saw a checkpoint in the other room babe,"

"Love, I gotta run away from the boss right now."

"It's not the boss, bosses have their boss rooms. This is an obstacle"

Sage also suck at filing taxes

So good luck with that

I can see Sage having PTSD treatments because of his traumatized childhood and the life he had to live until now after settling down with you

You convinced him to go to therapy and Tulsi backed you up

So he will take medications every day

At first, you had to remind him a lot, but then he just made it an addiction and now doesn't need reminders

He was never happier and finally had a taste of a healthy and caring relationship with you

He is also not so terrible with putting the IKEA furniture together.

Felix

He got expelled from Harvard.

Then his rich father had to convince the headmaster to reconsider the decision and Felix ended up with suspension instead smh

Felix's grades are great but he has disciplinary issues

I can see him majoring in criminal justice and mortuary science

Or maybe just mortuary science

Escell was very disappointed in him.

He is also famous for dating with the valedictorian among Harvard graduates

Then they broke up and you yeeted yourself in his life

Or he yeeted himself to your arms

He literally dramatically fell one day and you happened to be close to catch him

Then the Titanic music played in the background with the slow summer rain fell down to your heads

You are hot so he was flustered

Like he internally screamed when he fell in your arms

Or shall I say fell in love?

You two then started as friends since not too later he found out that he might actually have a chance with you after you mentioned your love of video games and romance books

After starting to date he confessed that he has an AO3 account asddgf

Rime was a burden too

He was the one who broke Felix's heart

But still wanted him to only love him and him alone

Then you were like

"Hoe listen to me..."

Rime hot

But no

Felix cried until morning the day you fist fought Rime in the grocery store parking lot

AAHGDHFA

Scylla secretly approved your determination that day and watched the fight afar

Escell got drunk and Florian came home the day after for everyone's explanations

The deeper your relationship got the more a part of his family you become

I mean every Friday it was now a routine that Felix and you attended family dinner

No one even asks anymore they just put your plate down and Escell hides his most expensive wine bottles from everyone

Felix is not good to live in his own house though

He always lived with someone in the house so he wasn't alone

Ever.

When you moved into the same house with him Felix was relieved

You two will be emos together and watch fifty shades of grey movies during the quarantine

Please ask Felix if he thinks the movie is interesting, he will avoid you all day long

Then become a blanket burrito at night lmao

Oh btw he might tell you random facts about mortuary

Like you are in the shower and he comes in to brush his teeth

Then he'll tell you a fact you didn't have to know then leave

"Truly fascinating, if you ask me."

He is also the type to text you from the other side of the room

Or call you from the other room to ask you if you can bring him something to eat

Felix would also love to go to the farmers' market too

"Finally some quality food."

Whenever you two go on a vacation together

lmao someone ALWAYS takes his hand and reads his palm

Only to be ended up getting scolded and getting a proper palm reading from Felix

Anisa

Call her and ask if she wants drive tru

"Love, it is thREE IN THE MORNING, I have work tomorrow-"

"So two? Or nah?"

"Get a coffee."

Actually, she wants a cookie but won't admit it

She knows you'll get her a cookie

You always get her a cookie with coffee

Anisa might be a great investigator if you ask me

If not a detective or a police chief or lieutenant

But I think she would work in law enforcement

Or she might also start her own company and rise as well

Unlike Sage and Felix, Anisa will not live in the same house with you before she decides to settle down for good

It's not because she doesn't want you around her

But because she is always at work and doesn't want to leave everything to you to handle at home

But she is always with you on her day offs

Will call you once a day at least

Text you during her breaks or whenever she can

If you can show up at her workplace during the lunch break she will take you to the nearest coffee shop

"Their coffee is not nearly as good as yours, but among other shops, this is the most drinkable one."

She will spoil you during your dates!

She likes to see you smile and will do anything for you to have a good time with her

So expect sweets, movie nights, amusement park dates, or just traveling during both of your yearly week/month offs/breaks

She won't admit it but likes it when you try to match your clothes with hers

She will know your favorite everythings lol

Take her to a dinner date and she will be so happy and feel spoiled

She will let you paint her nails

Let you get all the hot water in the shower

Will let you wear her clothes

Pillow fights are allowed every now and then

When she gets sick she'll try to power through but likes it when you baby her

Whenever you get sick she will try to not fuss over you but every 15 minutes she'll ask to take you to see a doctor

She is a cereal gal

You might have to drag her to bed many nights because she will take work at home

Oh my god, do play dungeons and dragons with her

If you visited somewhere she has never been she will ask a lot of questions about your trip

Likes to binge a tv series you two found online

Also enjoys just silent but comfortable moments with you

When you read your book she will gaze at you

All heart eyes

Will put her favorite picture of you two as her profile picture in her social media accounts

Will like your every post

ALWAYS TEXTS BACK TO YOU. ALWAYS.

Never leaves you on read/seen

She will either give you a proper text or just let you know that she is busy at the moment

Also if you come home later than her she will ask if you want her to prepare anything special you want for dinner

otherwise, she'll do dishes that you both like anyway

If she is late, she'll call you to ask if you need anything from the grocery store, etc.

[batwritings]

15 minutes of your time, dearest Bat, if I may. I'm studying to be a photographer, I really like taking pictures. A lot of the little jobs I do are taking graduation pictures for family friends. I got the idea of being the photographer of one of the boys, but in the nude....so I'm going to share it with you.

Model Gogy, because let's be honest he is so pretty and very photogenic. Filters are not needed for this man.

So you are hired to take photos of him on a regular because his agent likes the way your shoots come out. They have been the most flattering and it's all because you've got a crush on the British man. George is nothing but nice to you. The banter is easy and boarder line flirtatious at times. You are professional though.

Well one day you get an email from his agent, but it doesn't sound like them. 'Hey can we set up a shoot soon.' was the subject. The rest of the email was weird too. Not much information was shared and the dates were going to be in 2 days. Usually you got a week to prepare and plan things. But your Schedule was clear and to be honest you can say no.

So in the two days you scramble to get ready and made sure all your other projects were cleared out. You arrive at the address with probably more gear then you needed. It's just George there though he is awkwardly sitting at a table in the middle of the nearly empty studio waiting for you. He lights up when he sees you and even helps you with equipment. You ask him what the shoot was about and he blushes.

"I understand if you don't feel comfortable doing this. Honestly I wish my agent would have told you right from the start but I need nude pictures taken." He chews his lip nervous. The instant though of naked George with his dick out makes brain.exe stop working. The little longer you just stare at him the more nervous he gets, laughing weakly and rambling about something.

"I can...do the job." You blink back when he starts saying something about 'not worrying about it he can get someone else to do it but he trusts you'. He pauses and smiles relaxing some and smiling relieved at you.

"cool, thank you," he sounded like he wanted to say more but instead just fidgeted.

Clearing your throat you ask how he wanted to do this. He left it up to you. Again you couldn't think properly. Your own blush was surely visible. You look around at the sparse furniture. The large couch would have to work because it was the only thing besides the blankets and the floor. So you tell him the plan and proceed to set up. Usually you wouldn't, a scene would already be ready but this was different. George waited not wanting to get in your way. When it was ready you smiled at him.

"We can start when you are ready, okay?" He nods at you and plops down on the couch shifting a little awkwardly. Your camera was raised as you figured out the best angles for lighting. He was stiff and looked for once so uncomfortable.

"Do you want to do some normal shots to help you relax?" You ask giving him a warm smile trying to help him. He nods pulling off his jacket though.

"Maybe I can take of layers as we go." He says seeming to melt into his usual confidence. It was a good idea. He lounges across the sofa in his short, jeans, and shoes. Looking aloof and kinda reminding you of a cat.

He removed his shoes next, falling into another pose. Legs tucked against him and sprawled over a pillow. He looked so soft even in the slightly tight jeans. Which were the next things removed. George sat crisscross with the giant pillow him his lap and a daring look in his eyes. The light looked amazing spilling over his eyes and pale skin. There was hesitation on the next article of clothing. He settling on the socks instead. Crossing his ankles and popping his knees over the arm of the couch laying back with his shirt riding up his torso. A light whisper of a happy trail peaking out. It took longer for the next piece to so. A blush painted his cheeks. By now you were so focused on actually taking pictures you didn't even think about the situation anymore. His shirt was gone. His hands hiding parts of his chest and his eyes searched out yours. You pause for a moment taking in his figure. There before you was the nearly naked figure of the most attractive person you have ever seen. His lips were bitten red and his dark eyes looking up at you through thick lashes. The pretty pink looked like pastel chalk dusting his body. The pale skin seemed to glow in the bright lights and the many windows letting the natural sun in. Your breath catches when he give you a look that screams come here.

You don't move for a moment frozen just staring. He leans back spreading his legs and leaning back into the couch. His arms flexing as he holds them over his head and back. He is wide open and looked so damn good. You snapped a picture on accident your finger having been playing with the button. You lick your lips and clear your throat. Pushing your attention to the job. You take some pictures working hard not to drool over how god damn sexy he looked and inviting. Oh so inviting.

His hands slide down his body and stop around his waist band of his boxers smirking at you. Teasing the edges down. You gulp watching was the fabric slowly slides down his legs and pools in front of the couch. He is completely naked and standing in front of you. And the first thing you couldn't help but look at was his half hard cock. It twitched before your eyes. The muscles of his thighs flexing as he shifted into a better position on the sofa. Slouched back and looking like a lazy king. His hands gliding over his hips and dancing down his thighs. His eyes staring at you hard. One hand raised and he gave a come here gesture with one finger. Those dark eyes blown wide with the teasing lust. Your throat his dry and your camera is heavy in your hands.

Bitting your lip you move forward. He leans forward and takes the camera pulling you closer by the strap until you were nearly filling into his lap. He smirks and whispers, "wanna have some fun?" You shiver, slipping the strap off and nodding. He set the device down gently on the ground and takes your hips in his hands. He guilds you onto his lap. Your knees on each his of his hips. Those hands of his rubbing your thighs, looking up at your slightly and pressing your foreheads together. His breath smells so good, fresh and sweet like bubblegum.

He captures your lips in a hot kiss. His soft tongue dancing with yours.

While you kiss and relax more pieces of your wardrobe is removed allowing for George to touch you all over. The last thing to go was your underwear. He teases you firm hands pressing your ass and slapping it. You whine on his lap writhing excitedly. Your sex grinds against his and he moans too. The controlled ride of your hips into his was intoxicating. Your lips met and he leans you back to lay on the couch. Dipping between your spread thighs and licking your heat. The brunette sucks and licks at you for a long while your hands tangling in his hair. His slim fingers toying with your entrance. Using his own spit he presses in. A cry left your lips, stars dancing in your eyes and he continued. Your brains as become more empty the more time passed. An eternity later and you felt so fucked out you wanted to cum so badly. He kissed up your body settling between your legs. His hand that had prepped you smeared on the couch. His other hand tapping against your lips. You take them sucking hard and whining when he rubs the pads of his fingers over your tongue. When he removed them the next saliva was used to prep his cock.

The head was pressed into you slowly. Your legs wrapped around his hips and you leaned back moaning the further he pushed in. He wasn't very big but he did fill you perfectly. Tucking his hands under your thighs he lifts you off the couch some and draw his hips back before thrusting them forwards again. Grunting with he force he continues to build up his speed. You grab his thighs rolling your hips into him bouncing off his body as you meet in a slap of skin. The pleasure was maddening, the swell of release was just out of touch but this felt so perfectly good you didn't want to ever stop.

He stopped panted hard and moving you to lay with him, throwing your leg over his hip and the other straight tangled with his. This position hit something new for you cause you to cry out and grab hold of his hands on your hips. He speed up fucking hard and fast. You quivered and called out his name as you felt the swell spill over into creamy release. He followed soon after stilling deep inside and filling you up with a new pressure.

Needless to say you didn't get the pictures you needed.

📷

.......bat.exe has stopped working. HOLY FUCK CAMERA!!! THAT WAS FRIGGIN' AMAZING!!! AND THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE EVERYTHING IN SUCH DETAIL IS IMMACULATE! LIKE I CAN SEE IT IN MY HEAD AND FFFFFFU--

rebooting in progress, please wait. . .

[imo-chan-imagines]

『 As your boyfriend | BNHA Headcanons 』

From the good, to the bad, to the downright adorable.

Characters: female!reader, Aizawa Shouta

Tags/warnings: Boku No Hero Academia (anime), 18+, explicit descriptions of sex, smut, fluff, soft dom Aizawa, relationship, headcanons

⚠️ 18+ CONTENT! MINORS: PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT ⚠️

A/N: Right, so I'm simping for this man biG TIME, but I'm only on season 3, so no spoilers or anything, please. This is my first BNHA post (and it turned out way longer than I was intending 😅) Please let me know if you want more in the future!

Also, I have a repetitive strain injury, so typing stuff is taking a while at the moment. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading! Please enjoy ♡ ~Imo

☆ Aizawa Shouta ☆

I'm not going to lie. Shouta can be a big ol' grouchy pants sometimes, and it's basically impossible to win an argument against him makes you want to tear your hair out, sometimes

But most of the time, he's just tired and in pain, and he doesn't mean to be so crotchety

He's not the type to make excuses, though. That's childish. He means his apologies, even if they're simple

He'll normally initiate an apology by gently wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his forehead on your shoulder 🥺

Physical contact is incredibly personal and intimate for him. He doesn't just touch anyone, or allow them to touch him

You're special 💞💫

Soft, gentle touches, like his fingers interlacing with yours, or his leg brushing up against you, are basically his way of saying 'I love you'

Catch me crying in the corner, a'ight? 😔

He rarely ever raises his voice. Like, ever he doesn't need to, and is aware that it can be scary

He's definitely the kind of guy to forget to tell people that you're dating, simply because he doesn't see how it's relevant or anyone else's business 🤦‍♀️

I mean, he ain't wrong, but–

And his mood switches between 'antisocial' and 'clingy' like a mechanical metronome did someone say 'cat'?

Sometimes, you'll be lucky if he speaks more than three words to you together in a whole day nothing personal 🤷‍♀️

But on other days, he literally won't let you out of his arms for the world he's complicated, okay?

You have missed many a parcel delivery because he wouldn't let you get up from his lap to answer the door 🙄😂

Boundaries and responsibilities are key and highly respected by Shouta, and he would NEVER erase your quirk without your permission, unless he literally had no other choice like someone's going to get hurt, or something

Is generally quite serious so what's new? but you're one of the few people he can relax around when he feels like it

9/10 of his jokes are dad jokes 😎 hell yeah

Takes a hard stance in financial debates, but is constantly broke af 😶 says he'll buy you dinner and presents you with some instant noodles with a 'Reduced To Clear' sticker on them

Will take a bite of your food/steal some off your plate without asking, and literally say nothing to defend himself #gremlin

Is incredibly shy and uncomfortable about being ~le horny~ until you've been together for literally forever

Even then, he's still shy about it when he has to bring it up and it's pretty cute, let me tell ya

It took him forever to admit to you that he gets turned on when you eat ice lollies

Guess what you do whenever you want to mess with him like a little brat 😛

But if he's in the mood, he will 100% whisper something dirty in your ear, even if you're completely alone and probably well past third base

He does it because he knows your pussy will clamp around him at the sound of his voice 😳🥵

*fans self profusely*

Genuine, unadulterated smiles are rare with Aizawa, but when he does 🙌 Heaven hath opened its gates and allowed an angel walk amongst mere mortals 🥺🤧

If he lays his head on your chest, he will fall asleep like that *snaps fingers*

Surprise nose and forehead kisses to show he loves you ❤

Calls you 'Kitten' this is basically already canon at this point

And he's all about those deep talks with you at 3 am when he can't sleep

Speaking of insomnia!

It's cheesy, but you're like a soothing balm. The warmth of your body makes him feel safe, your touch helps him relax, and your voice soothes him to sleep

He's never slept as well as when you're beside him 😭🤧

When cuddling, he likes to be the big spoon but will accept being the little spoon if you if you press your boobs against his back and ask really nicely 🤭

And he loves you stroking his hair and running your fingers through it 🥺

Netlix nights and pillow/blanket forts!!

Rainy days are a godsend. Staying inside all day under the blankets, with the soft sound of the rain falling outside and no-one to interrupt you – literal paradise

He makes mean hot cocoas and Irish coffees 😋 I feel like this man lives off Irish coffees 😂🤣

Wears a lot of black and grey sweatpants at home 😗 which highlight the outline of his dick just right, if ya know what I'm sayin' 👀

Doesn't like going out for dates and prefers staying inside and doing stuff together same, honeyy

But if you really like going out, he will somewhat begrudgingly agree to it and get all dressed up for you, just so long as he gets his fair share of home-dates, too 🤗

But if you also don't like going out... the two of you will basically never leave the house, except to get groceries in your pyjamas from the 24-hour convenience store down the road at one in the morning oddly specific, I know, but you get me

And sorry, but I don't make the rules

Well, actually, I do. But shush

We all know that Shouta cleans up *chef's kiss* So when you go somewhere ~fancy~ he always looks so damn fine 😩

But he has very little idea that he's hot he sees himself as a tired, walking dumpster fire🚶‍♂️🔥

Shouta will 100% turn into a crazy cat dude with 15+ cats if you don't stop him I never said you should, though 🙃

And is a 'minimalist texter' – basically, if he can't answer a text with 'yes', 'no,' 'maybe', or 'OK', then he probably won't answer it at all 😭😂

Especially if you try and sext him or send him your nudes while he's at work. He'll probably lecture you when he gets home and depending on just how much you turned him on, he might proceed to teach you a lesson...

But wear his shirt, and just his shirt or his hoodie and he's yours

Heart eyes, motherfucker 😍

And, depending on how you two are feeling that day, you may or may not end up getting dicked down on the nearest semi-flat surface right then and there 👀

But don't misunderstand. This is an incredibly tired man you have here, and his libido actually isn't through the roof sorry, ladies so this kind of thing isn't an everyday occurrence

But when he dicks you down, he dicks you down goooood

Shouta's not big on PDA, but makes up for it in private. We're talking hands and kisses all over your body he leaves nothing unloved 😏

And while he's not big on PDA, he is big on sneaky displays of affection or 'SDA', as I like to call it

Like subtly grabbing your butt for a second, or his hand on your thigh under the table at a dinner etc. especially around other people

But what really gets him going is slowly removing your clothes and taking you fully naked, spreading your legs wide and holding them open he likes the view 😍

He lowkey highkey worships your body 🙏 and will literally not shut up about how fucking pretty you are, and how fucking good it feels inside you his words, not mine 😳

Groans and growls a little when he's getting close/cumming especially when he's being a little rough and likes to cum together, but knows it's not always practical

He tends to be a gentle dom, but can get just a teensy bit 🤏 rough if he's too into it – but nothing outrageous

We're talking rough thrusts and a brutal pace, maybe holding onto you a little too hard and, waaahh, he gets so embarrassed if he leaves bruises

Is also into a little bondage, but again, only light stuff – restraining your wrists with his hands or his tie or his Capturing Weapon 👀 maybe blinding-folding you if you're okay with it

If you're not blindfolded, then I'm afraid he's all about that eye contact

Eating out your pussy? Eye contact. Pounding you into the mattress? Blazing eye contact. Rearranging your guts in front of the mirror? Fucking eye contact

And CONSENT, BABY. THAT'S WHAT HE'S FUCKING INTO 😌🙌💞

But all jokes aside – he's too used to taking without consent with his quirk, that he's kind of paranoid about it comes to sex but it's adorable and sweet, and honestly, still kind of hot

And speaking of eating pussy – goddamn does he like to please you. Like cream to a kitty 😛

Oh, and he just loves it when you suck on his fingers as he's pounding into you 🤤

And he likes to leave love bites in personal, inconspicuous places and sometimes on your neck

He's marking his woman 😌

When he gets suuuper horny, he likes to fuck you from behind, standing upright in front of the mirror. It's a specific kink he has of watching himself stretch you out as the length of his cock disappears inside you...

I can get behind that, lemme tell yaaa

I said he tends to be dominant, but female doms – fear not!

Shouta is quite flexible when it comes down to it and is kind of lazy, lmfao so he definitely has time for laying back, having the control taken away, and having his dick ridden

For him, it's really all about communication and what you're both comfortable with

I will say this, though: sometimes, his cat watches you while you're banging 😅😂

The first time it happened, you freaked out and refused to continue because – how could you??? But eventually, you just kind of got used to it 🤷‍♀️

The same way you've got used to it following you to the bathroom every time you go to take a shit 😭

So now, you just kind of laugh about it, which helps keep things a little lighter 🤗

After sex, he does like to snuggle, but you'll be lucky if he stays awake for more than 30 seconds it's one of the few times he actually can sleep well

If you're ever out and about, or even inside, and cold, he'll wrap you up in his clothes/scarf/blanket like a sushi roll like Eren wrapping up Mikasa in his scarf, all deadpan and everything 😐

It's not that often, but when he gets drunk, he gets all soft and emotional, and starts babbling about how he can't believe he got so lucky to be dating you, and that he's sure he hasn't done anything to deserve it mah heart

He's pretty sure he wants kids, but he doesn't feel like now is the right time, and is lowkey afraid that it's never going to feel like the right time

He also constantly doubts himself, wondering if he'd actually able to look after them and protect them the way a father should class 1-A got him second-guessing himself 🥺

Besides, it's not all about him. You clearly have a say in it too, and he doesn't want to force you into anything

Again: communication and comfort zones

Dating Aizawa definitely has its ups and downs, and it's not smooth sailing, but he's prepared to work for a life with you because he's found a connection with you that he hasn't feel with anyone else

He knows that you're both far from perfect, but hopes that, for once, you might just make something good, and make it last 🥰😇

© imo-chan-imagines 2020

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 14*

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

This chapter literally took me all day, and it's kinda super long, but since I'm only going to 15 it had to be done. Also, I wanted to get a certain part and all the bullshit detail action needs to be written before we get there so I just kept writing to get there. Lulz.

Tag List

@madamsnape921

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@chasingeverybreakingwave

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

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@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

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@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

Okay and can I just say about the Goodbye Love thing it was in my head since I had her say "I need to go away".

This was supposed to be the preview:

Mimi Please don't touch me Understand I'm scared I need to go away

Mark I know a place - a clinic

Benny A rehab?

Mimi Maybe - could you?

Benny I'll pay

And this is for chapter 15: Mimi Goodbye love Goodbye love Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye Just came to say Goodbye love Goodbye love Goodbye love Hello disease....

*DUN DUN DUNNNN*

---------------------

The next thing you knew you were waking up in another room. This one was more lavish and beautiful; the sunset was peeking through green silk curtains with a matching chaise lounge. You were now in pink silk pajamas as opposed to a hospital gown, and you weren’t hooked up to near as many wires. Just a pack attached to your arm linked to your sides.

“What the…?” You cautiously crept out of bed, examining the room.

So many questions flew through your mind at that moment. How did you get here? Where exactly were you? Who the hell changed you while you were passed out? It was too much to imagine. You walked over to the full length mirror and examined yourself. You were still semi pale, but you looked pretty damn good for just having surgery this morning.

You walked back towards your bed where your phone was laying on the nightstand. You went to check your messages when you saw the date-- it had been three days. THREE DAYS?

“What the actual fuck--?” You muttered.

Were you in a Black Mirror episode? How did you lose three whole days of your life?! You began to panic, making you pace the room. Wasn’t there a button you could do? You quickly looked around the room for anything, but all you found was a TV remote.

“Oh are you fucking--” You started to curse the world when you saw a little drawing of a nurse on one of the buttons. You frantically pushed it until a girl who looked like she was a nurse out of a porno as opposed to a hospital came running in.

“Oh my god, I thought you were like, dying or something,” She rolled her eyes and twirled her hair like she was a teenage stereotype.

“Where the hell am I? Why am I---”

“Okay you need to like, chill babe,” Nurse Betty put her hands up. “

“I’m not your babe, mmkay pumpkin? We are not friends,” You pushed her hands down. “Now why don’t you get your little chart and explain to me what’s going on in the Twilight Zone?”

“Alright, well--” She whipped out a mini tablet from her scrubs and flipped through it. “You got here three days ago with an order to keep you in a medically induced coma-- Ooooh, wow that sounds like some soap opera shit. Where your organs harvested on the black market?”

“WHAT?” You grabbed the tablet. That DID sound like some soap opera shit. “You read the tablet, all it said was the details about the coma and then FILES SEALED.

“Can you-- unlock this, please?” You shoved the tablet back in her hands.

“Um no, you need a supervisor for that babe,”

“Can you please get someone to unlock this then, BABE?” Your eye began to twitch from stress.

“Yeah, sure I’ll try,” She shrugged and walked back out of the room. You continued to pace faster now, googling “HARVESTED ORGANS ON THE BLACK MARKET”, when a doctor came in wearing navy blue scrubs, looking like Derek Shepherd.

“Well hey there, beautiful,” He grinned at you.

“...What is happening?” You muttered, staring at him. He was gorgeous, you’d probably be more flustered if you weren’t so freaked out and pissed off.

“What kind of soap opera hospital is this?!” You scowled.

“Hey, just because we take care of ourselves around here doesn’t mean it’s Grey’s Anatomy up here,” He made a face.

“...Could’ve fooled me, McDreamy,”

“....Just because my name is Derek doesn’t mean I’m that tool,” He frowned.

“Oh my god you’re kidding me right?” You had to laugh at the irony.

“You’re probably just grumpy because you haven’t eaten for three days,” He patted your head. “How about a nice filet mignon?”

“Wha…?” You looked around the room in disbelief. “How about you tell me where I am and how I got here?”

“You’re at Whistling Pines Hospital and Rehabilitation Center in Hartford Connecticut, Miss Y/N,”

“Connecticut?!” You gasped. “Sonny said it was just upstate New York. Jesus Christ he sent me out of state?!”

“Calm yourself,” Derek put a hand on your shoulder. “We’re basically on the state line, Mr. Carisi didn’t send you to Siberia,”

“...And why exactly was I brought here against my will?” You crossed your arms.

“Against your will?” He snorted. “Your paperwork says you requested to be out while you recovered so you wouldn’t be tempted to ask for pain meds or anything. Part of the detox, you understand,”

“Detox?” Your face scrunched. “Seriously? So...so now what, you escort me down to the padded room now that I’m healed?”

“No, no of course not,” He shook his head. “Our rehab rooms are much nicer than this. And yours is all ready for you,”

“....Yeah, alright,” You shrugged, looking around the room.

“Wonderful,” He gave you another 100 watt smile before opening the door and motioning you to follow him. You walked for a while through what seemed like a normal hospital wing, then you came to two large doors that said “REHABILITATION WING”.

Derek opened it and let you go through first, into a beautiful lobby. The walls were made of marble, there was a koi pond with a waterfall in the middle of it, sparkling water stations next to big leather chairs. It was like a spa.

“Wow...” You whispered as you admired it while you walked.

“Yes, I know,” He chuckled. “It’s quite impressive, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” You began to feel guilty; how much was this costing Sonny? This place looked like it cost the down payment on a house to stay in. You followed Derek down a hallway that looked like a hotel room hallway more than a rehab center, until he stopped at a door labelled 312.

“Ah here we are,” He opened the door and let you go inside first once again. It was an even more lavish room than you woke up in. A nice king bed with fluffy pillows and silk comforters were covered with extra blankets if you needed them. There was a huge sofa in front of a large screen TV, and a little kitchenette with a small fridge, cabinets, a dishwasher, and a microwave.

“....Wow,” You continued to stare in awe at the luxurious amenities this place had.

“Indeed,” Derek smiled. “Now, the TV comes loaded with digital cable and all the streaming services. Our WIFI password is LIVELAUGHLOVE, the fridge is stocked with organic, healthy foods only, but if you’d like to request something you can give our front desk a ring,”

You just nodded as you checked out the room.

“Now,” He cleared his throat. “For the icky part,”

“...The icky part?” You sputtered with a sarcastic smile. “Where did you go to medical school, Sesame Street?”

“Ha ha,” He rolled his eyes. “You will need to stay in your room at all times unless it’s social time, or group time. We do have several common areas such as a pool and a gym, but you’ll need to schedule times to use them, you can’t just walk around on your own,”

“Ah,” You nodded. “So it is a prison, just a very nice prison,”

“It’s not a prison, Miss Y/N,” He shook his head. “Not for you, anyway,”

“Really? Because it sounds like--”

“Your cousin did pay for your residency here, but you’re not under a court order or anything so you’re not confined here. Most of our residents have to be here several months before they’re even allowed out of their rooms at all, you should consider yourself lucky,”

“...Right,” You rolled your eyes. “Where is my cousin, anyway?” You asked. “Is he back at the hospital in New York?”

“Excuse me?” He looked at you in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand,”

“Oh I guess it’s been a few days,” You thought out loud. “He must have gone home by now,”

“...Well I’d sure hope so,” He chuckled.

“So..” You took a seat on the couch. “What am I doing now, warden?”

“Well like I said, I can have food sent up to you if you’re hungry,” He explained as he handed you your own tablet. “We have these for you so you can browse our menu for food and amenities,”

“Mmmkay…”

“Tomorrow’s social time is at 10 am, and your group therapy is at noon,”

“..Uh huh,” You nodded as you absent mindedly flipped through the menu.

“It’s mandatory,” He added.

“...Right,”

“Wonderful,” He beamed. “Now your bathroom is there, obviously,” He nodded to a door on the other side of the room. “It has a shower with three different pressures, and a spa bathtub. I recommend you take a long hot bath and relax, the first night is usually the hardest to get used to.

“Right…”

“Alright well I’ll leave you to it,” He nodded at you with another dreamy smile.

He walked out and left you to your own devices. You walked over to the drawers and pulled them out. They were full of your clothes, how did they get these so fast? It was so bizarre all of this happened while you were out, it really did seem like some kind of episode out of Dynasty or something.

You decided to call Sonny and get some things sorted out. You picked up your phone and dialed his number and let it ring.

“Oh hey...you, how you feelin’?”

“I’m good,” You went and sat on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Me? I’m good,”

“Really? Not sore or anything?”

“What? OH-- Yeah, y’know, of course, obviously,”

“...Thanks so much for this, Sonny. It’s gorgeous here,”

“Anytime….sweetie,”

“Is um, is Rafael doing better? Do you know?”

“Uh he’s...he’s fine, I’m sure,”

“...Well that’s good,”

“I’ll be up there next week to see you, you hang in there okay?”

“...Yeah, alright,”

“Night darlin’, you sleep well. I love you,”

“Love you too,”

Sonny hung up the phone and glanced over at Rafael who was busy writing his closing arguments for their case tomorrow.

“....Who was that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Niece,” He lied.

“Mmm,”

“...How are you feelin’, by the way Barba?”

“Carisi, we’re not discussing anything personal, ever again. I told you that,” He grumbled, not looking up from his desk. He winced in pain every so often when he pulled on his stitches while writing.

“...Right,” He nodded sadly. He did feel guilty about all of this, but he knew in a few weeks it wouldn’t matter. You’d both forget about each other and move on, it was for the best.

--------

The next day you woke up and felt this overwhelming sense of dread. It was like everything had finally caught up to you, all the memory of how you got here came back to you. You missed Rafael almost immediately, Sonny’s words about how you had traumatized him rang in your head.

You wanted so desperately to call him and apologize, tell him how you would have never hurt him on purpose, and that all you wanted to do was make it up to him-- but you knew you had no way of doing that, and there was nothing you could do about it.

Your tablet began to go off, alarms for SOCIAL TIME were set on it. You tried to turn it off, but apparently a counselor had to do it when you arrived. Sneaky bastards. You sighed and pulled on some PJ pants, trying to ignore the blaring sound. You stomped out of your room and down the hall, down some stairs to a huge room labelled “REC ROOM.”

“Welcome Y/N!” A bright and cheery nurse came over and greeted you. “We have lots of activities for you here,” She began to show you around. “We have arts and crafts, several board games, and the Cards Against Humanity rounds get quite rowdy!”

“...Right,” You nodded softly, feeling more and more hopeless as you saw all the other “residents” mingling-- and by mingling, meaning most of them were walking around like soulless zombies. Was this your life now?

----

One Week Later

“Hey…” You saw Rafael laying down in front of you, reaching out for your hand. You took it, not believing this was real.

“I love you, Y/N…” He smiled at you, his green eyes sparkling.

“I love you too Rafael..”

You shot up in bed, it happened again. You had been having the same dream ever since you had gotten to Whistling Pines. It felt so real, especially when you touched his hand. And you always woke up alone, stuck in your prison. Never to see Rafael ever again; It was torture. No matter how fancy the prison was, it was still a prison. You looked at the clock on your bedside table- 3:30 am. You wondered what Rafael was doing at that moment-- well, probably sleeping, duh. Or maybe he was up late, working on law stuff.

You wondered if he was thinking about you, if he ever thought about you. He didn’t seem angry the last time you saw him, in fact you were pretty sure you remembered him holding you and crying. Well, like Sonny said he was probably just upset having to see someone like that again. But-- something inside told you that you didn’t leave on bad terms. Maybe you had been too quick to just delete and block his number. But it was too late to do anything about that now. You laid back down and cried yourself back to sleep for the fifth time that night.

=============

Two weeks later

Sonny drove up to Hartford early Friday morning, hoping to get back to the city that night. He signed in at the front desk, muttering obscenities under his breath. He paced the lobby waiting for you, trying to keep his calm. Finally you emerged from the big double doors: You were dressed in a t-shirt that used to be tight, but now it draped on your shoulders. Your hip hugger jeans were more like men’s jeans, hanging off your pelvis. Your hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and you had no makeup on. You walked over to Sonny who crossed his arms at the sight of you.

“Hey, Sunshine…” He pulled you into a tight hug, your face barely moved into a small smile.

“Can we talk?” He asked as he led you to one of the leather couches.

“Sure,” You nodded like a robot as you sat next to him.

“So Sunshine,” He sighed. “They tell me you haven’t uh, been doin’ so hot,”

“Oh, have they?” You mumbled, playing with a hole in your jeans.

“Yeah they said you’re not eating, you skip the group, you won’t talk to anybody,” He put a hand on your knee. “Is everything okay? Is it your new liver? The diabetes kicking yer ass?”

“...No, I’m fine,” You shrugged feebly.

“....Seriously?” He removed his hand, his soft tone gone. “So, nothing’s wrong with you physically? You’re just being a brat?”

“Excuse me?” You suddenly blinked in surprise.

“Here I came up here because I was worried somethin’ was really wrong with you, like you were rejecting the donation or-- or the trauma was too much, but you’re tellin’ me you just won’t cooperate?” He snapped at you.

“...What do you want me to say, Sonny? Sorry?” You snarked back.

“I want you to tell me why!” He tried not to yell but this was ridiculous. “Do you know how expensive this place is?!”

“Oh wow,” You scoffed. “Well I’m sorry my recovery is so expensive for you, Son,”

“It’s not even recovery, Y/N! You’re-- You’re just laying around here like a fuckin’ angsty teen!” He barked. “Why aren’t you trying? Don’t you wanna get outta here and get back to your life?”

“Maybe I don’t!” You yelled and stood up. “Maybe I don’t care about getting out of here, or not. There’s no point anymore,”

“What?” Sonny furrowed his brows. “Why not?”

“...Because,” You looked down at the floor.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Sonny threw up his hands, finally standing up himself. “Is this about Barba, really Y/N? You knew him for a few fuckin’ days, gimme a fuckin BREAK,”

“He was wonderful to me, Sonny! He was wonderful and loving and caring and YOU made me go off on him, and then I--” You paused, tears caught in your throat. “I fucking traumatized him. I hurt him so badly he didn’t even want to see me when i was dying,”

“I mean-- how bad of a person am I?!” You tried not to break down in the lobby. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be around anyone anymore, I just destroy things. Hurt people. I shouldn’t be around anyone,”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Sonny sighed. “You need to stop, alright? If you actually tried to get better, you wouldn’t--”

“I don’t want to get better!!!!” You flat out stomped your foot, not caring about making a scene now.

“Y/N, tough love time. You need to get your shit together and forget about Barba, alright? I can’t keep paying for you to stay here--” He put both hands on your shoulders.

“So let me out,” You glared at him.

“....And if I let you out, are you going to stay sober?” He gave you a suspicious look.

“Nope,” You said with a smirk.

“Y/N come the fuck on,” He threw up his hands.

“What?” You crossed your arms. “I’m being honest. So either you keep wasting your money here, or let me go,”

“And what, let you kill yourself?” He asked angrily.

“...Maybe,” You muttered.

“Sunshine, come here--” Sonny went to wrap you in a hug, his t-shirt caught up on yours causing it to pull up on his torso. Your eyes went wide when you caught sight of it, letting go of him.

“....Where’s your scar?” You blinked in disbelief, trying to wrap your head around what you were seeing.

“What?” He began to panic.

“Your scar,” You pulled your t-shirt to reveal your own scar from the transplant. “You should have one,”

“Oh, Um--” Sonny began to rack his brain for an explanation, but your brain was moving faster.

“.....You didn’t give me part of your liver, did you?” You pulled away from him.

“Uh well--” He sighed “Not exactly, no,”

“Then who did?” You eyed him accusingly.

“They got you an anonymous--”

“Oh don’t even give me that shit, Sonny,” You stopped him. “This-- this whole thing, when I got here. It felt so much like, like a set up. A soap opera plot,”

“A soap opera?” Sonny laughed. “Come on Sunshine, don’t--”

“Why did you ship me here so fast, Sonny?” You asked, your brain now on a roll.

“What?” He half laughed. “So that you could get started early--”

“No,” You stopped him. “You could have just let me come here on my own, CONSCIOUS,”

“Well I just wanted you to skip the DT’s--” He tried to think of a defense.

“DT’s don’t happen to you if you get drunk ONCE, Sonny!” You raised your voice.

“Well how was I supposed to--” He looked around nervously.

“Who really gave me their liver, Sonny?” You narrowed your eyes.

“I told you, I don’t--” He began to lie again.

“I’ll look it up,” You threatened, making his eyes go wide.

“Y-You can’t do that,” He protested.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to?” You challenged him.

“...Because--”

“Rafael did, didn’t he?” You weren’t letting him think of any more lies.

“Look Y/N, he just wanted to help you out so that you wouldn’t die, like his dad. He couldn’t save him so he saved you. Doesn’t that sound like him?”

You had to admit, it really did. But why lie about it?

“So why didn’t you tell me that, Sonny? Why tell me you did it? Why didn’t you just tell me he did it to be nice, and not that he hated me?”

“I never said he hated you--”

“If you lied to me about that, what else have you been lying to me about?” You put your hands on your hips.

“What?”

“Oh my god…” You started to remember your recurring dream. “It was real, it was real. I know it was real!”

“...What was real?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“I keep having this dream where Rafael is across from me lying on a table, and he tells me that he loves me. And I know that happened I know it did,” You explained.

You were absolutely sure of it now. So many thoughts were running through your mind, you hated that you didn’t remember any of this before.

“What?” Sonny laughed again. “Sunshine it’s just a dream, don’t you think you would remember something like that?”

“They...they gave me something before I went into the OR,” You looked off into nowhere as you tried desperately to recall that morning. “The nurse called it…’giggle juice’,”

“Giggle juice?” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Did you make them give me that too?!” You went for his collar, but a nurse came out of nowhere to hold you back.

“Wha who whoa, Sunshine calm down,” Sonny waved the nurse off of you. “I got her, thanks ma’am,”

“I didn’t tell them to give you anything,” He said softly.

“Yeah, just to keep me out for three days so I wouldn’t ever see Rafael before you sent me here,” You accused him.

“...Not true…” He shook his head.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to talk to him, Sonny?” Tears choked your throat.

“He didn’t want to talk to you--”

“Bullshit!” You stomped your foot, eyeing the nurse who had her eye on you in case you lost it on Sonny again.

“Bullshit, were you scared he was going to tell me what you were really doing? That you were trying to keep us apart?” Tears began dripping from your cheeks. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you couldn’t believe you could have been with Rafael this entire time.

“No!” He protested, his eyes darting back and forth. “No, I--”

“I don’t believe you!” You pushed him, the nurse stepped forward but you put your hands up in defeat. “You’re keeping him from me right now, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“That’s why you sent me so far, he has no idea where I am, and he wants to know doesn’t he? He wasn’t traumatized by my ‘incident’, he’s traumatized he lost me!” You hated that you cried when you got angry, it made you so much less intimidating.

“Traumatized is a strong word, Y/N…” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Y’know what Sonny,” You shook your head while you wiped your eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. You bring Rafael here, and I’ll try to get better,”

“...I can’t,” He looked at the floor.

“Wha--Are you serious?” You half laughed sarcastically. “You’d rather me rot in here than--”

“I don’t know where he is, Y/N,” He looked up at you seriously.

“...What?” You asked, not wanting to know the answer.

“He…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He left,”

“What do you mean ‘he left’?” You air quoted left.

“He went on some campaign trail, Hilary I think. He took off across the country, I literally have no idea where he is right now,” He explained.

“Why would he do that?” You asked.

“I don’t know, he said he had to get out of the city--” He shrugged.

“And you couldn’t imagine why?” You gave him a knowing look.

“Oh puh-lease Y/N, he’s not a drama queen like you--” He stopped, thinking about it. “Okay well he might be a drama queen but--”

“You can call him,” You pointed to his pocket.

“I can’t,” He looked down at the ground once again.

“WHY NOT?!” You were getting fed up with him.

“He was….he was super pissed at me for keeping you apart, alright? You’re right. He...he changed his number when he took off, he wants nothing to do with me,”

“So he’s just...gone?” Your voice cracked.

“Sunshine, I promise you. In a few weeks you won’t care about him, and you’re gonna wanna get out of here,”

“Why, you're gonna start adding memory pills to my regiment too?” You scoffed with angry tears in your voice.

“Jesus,” He rolled his eyes. “No, because you’re 22 and you can fall in and out of love like that,” He snapped his fingers.

“No I won’t,” You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to let me out of here or I’ll die in here,”

“God you’re such a--” Sonny sighed in frustration. “I can get them to get you to eat, y’know that right?”

“Do it!” You dared him. “Start treating me like some kind of mental patient, control my life like you think you need to,”

“...I can’t deal with this,” He waved his hands and started to walk away. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, I’m sure you’ll be over this by then,”

“Don’t count on it,” You stomped back into the ward.

-----------------

A week later

You let the night nurse into your room, she brought your meds and a nightly snack.

“Well, are you excited for tomorrow?” She asked, making conversation.

“...What’s tomorrow?” You asked as your downed your pills.

“Your last day!” She smiled.

“...What?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, honey you’re not here on a court order or probation, and your cousin only paid for 30 days. So, you’re leaving tomorrow!”

“You’re just...you’re just letting me go??” You asked in disbelief.

“You’re not happy about that? I’m sure we could talk to your--” She started.

“No!” You stopped her. “No, No I’m totally excited, ready to get back to real life,”

“Good!” She smiled and patted your head. “Make sure you’re all packed, we’ve already filled this room once you leave,”

“...Of course you have,” You rolled your eyes.

She left and you began to frantically pack, ready to get out of here as fast as possible. You would find Rafael on your own, you knew you could.

----------

Sonny’s phone went off while he was out on a call, he saw it was Whistling Pines so he excused himself from the scene and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Yes, Mir. Carisi? This is Sylvia at Whistling Pines, we were just checking on Miss Y/N,”

“....Why would you be checking on her? Don’t you have her?”

“...No sir, she checked out a few days ago,”

“WHAT?!”

“Well it had been 30 days and you had only paid for a month--”

“So you just let her leave?! Why would you do that?!”

“Well sir, for one she’s a grown woman who’s a law abiding citizen, she wasn’t committed here by any kind of law enforcement. And like I said you only paid--”

“For a month,” He growled. “That’s all that matters to you people, isn’t it?”

“Well sir, this is a very expensive--”

“Where did she go?”

“What do you mean where did she go? She left with you,”

“Uh she sure as hell did NOT,”

“...Well she got in a car with a man…”

“Oh my god,” Sonny almost dropped the phone. “I swear to God if something happens to her because of you people I will sue you SO fast--”

“Okay no need to get hysterical,” She began to panic. “Why don’t you just come here and we’ll figure it out…”

“No I think you’ve done enough,” He growled before hanging up on her.

Where the hell had you gone? And with who?!

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Hi, I love your writing. I really want to make a request where the readers have eating disorder but works in the modeling industries. She is like dating Gerard, but they were in a super big fight because of her eating disorder, as well as her constant traveling for fashion weeks, and at the end, they make up, and Gerard is helping her getting better, and stuff like that. I really love your writing, can you please write one? THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!

Title: Poisons A/N: I actually got two requests for something like these. The endings for both requests were slightly different, but here’s the first one. I didn’t really edit it, just because I haven’t updated much content in forever, but here you go! Pairing: Gerard Way (probably late Black Parade era) x Model!F!Reader Word count: 3,170 Warnings: Eating disorder, swearing, angst, drama, there’s just a lot.

Okay, so this was not what Gerard expected to come home to.

The man expected to go back to his New York apartment, shared with his gorgeous girlfriend, and for everything to be perfect. Well maybe not perfect, but perfect in Gerard’s mind.

He wanted nothing more than to just eat some chips, not having eaten in 16 hours due to his flight and partial distaste to airplane food, and curl up with his girlfriend, hugging every inch of her curves.

Instead he came home to a house that was nearly empty of any food, only a few protein shakes resided in the large fridge. This was already a huge warning sign Gerard looked out for. His mind attempted to justify itself, thinking that maybe he was jumping to the worst of the worst conclusions. No, you were probably just traveling so much that you weren’t at home enough to actually buy food.

He sighed, moving to one of the cabinets he knew the take out menus were hidden in. Opening it up, he picked up one of the cheap paper menus covered in dust, shaking it with his hand to get it off. Great, these hadn’t been touched in months.

After debating mentally between Chinese and Italian, he moved to your bedroom, in hopes to finally see the love of his life after months of being absent on tour. There you were, peacefully sleeping in bed. Jetlag, he knew.

He carefully removed his shoes, moving to his closet to change his airplane clothes to more comfortable ones. Climbing into the warm bed beside you, he placed his hands on your hips as he always had. His initial smile soon turned into a frown.

Even under the large hoodie you were wearing he could feel the painful outlines of your ribs. Grimacing to himself, he heard a small sigh fall from your lips. “Gee?” You coarsely called out.

“Mhm,” He hummed back, kissing the top of your head despite the pure disappointment towards you that coarse through his veins.

“What’re you doing? Weren’t you supposed to be gone for another week?” You asked again, still half asleep.

“The guys and I decided to cancel the last week where we were just supposed to travel, I missed you too much.” He smiled lightly, moving your hair to the side to kiss your neck.

“Mmm,” You hummed quietly, your consciousness growing back. Within seconds realization hit you, your eyes internally going wide, not wanting to show anything to Gerard, and you pulled away from him slightly.

“Babe,” He sighed, “We’re not doing this again.” “Doing what again?” You tried to pretend to not understand what he was saying.

“You’re a gorgeous, talented model,” He began with a soft smile, “But don’t go into acting, you’re not good at it.” “Gee, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You fired back.

“Take off your hoodie,” He insisted, “Now.” “Gerard, what the fuck?” You scoffed, “Take off my hoodie?” “You heard me,” He stated, “Take it off.” “Why would I take it off?” You scrowled.

“So I can confirm that you haven’t been eating like you’re supposed to.”

“Gerard, please-” You begged, now falling off your pedestal of lies. He sighed heavily, rolling his eyes.

“Why haven’t you?” He asked, looking at you, “What has caused you not to eat again? I thought we were over this.”

“I don’t think that’s your problem.” You snapped. You rarely if ever did so, but this was only further confirmation that you hadn’t eaten in a couple of days. You were cranky.

“Damn right it is my problem.” He sat up next to you, his face had gone completely serious. There were traces of anger in his eyes, his pulsing veins along his muscular arms told you all you needed to know. He wasn’t only infuriated with your habit, he was disappointed.

A word you hated. You absolutely hated. The way it sounded, the meaning, how it made you feel. “Please,” You begged him, your once bright eyes gray from the torture you had put yourself through. “Please what?” He asked, his tone still somewhat harsh.

“Just don’t be mad.” You pleaded. You could see his eyes scan over your face, looking for any signs that you were lying. He found none.

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes to clear his head he nodded lightly. “Alright,” He said barely letting out a breath, “But you need to tell me everything.”

And you did. Most of it at least. You explained how your insecurities resettled themselves in your mind, starting the moment he left for Tour. You talked about how you were getting more gigs and all due to your tinier size. You explained how skin and bones was basically the new trend.

He sat and listened to you. And he believed it, because he knew it was true. But naturally, he also was a human lie detector. Especially with you.

“Okay,” He began, “And what else?” So maybe that one small part your left out was something that you really didn’t want to admit. Gerard had this strong distaste for most of your model “friends”, ya know, the ones who are naturally tiny and eat salads 24/7, never genuinely enjoying a single meal. The one’s who flashed their designer shit everywhere they went, who posted bikini photos every other day and managed to somehow photoshop themselves into complete Barbie dolls. It made Gerard’s blood boil, he never liked you hanging out with them. Because are them you were not Y/N, you couldn’t be. And that made you even more secure.

“There’s nothing else.” You lied. He looked you in the eyes, waiting another moment.

“I’m gonna give you one more chance to tell me the truth,” He sighed, “What else?” “I said nothing.” Your tone was adamant. He rolled his eyes in disbelief.

“You lied to me,” He began, “You just fucking lied to me. We’ve been over this how many times?” “I didn’t fucking lie to you,” You stuck up for yourself, moving further away from him.

“Another lie, damn Y/N.” He sighed, “We’ve been dating for three years, and you still can’t trust me.” “I do trust you, Gerard.” “Then why are you lying to me?” He asked, his tone going to a much harsher pitch.

“Ya know what?” You said, grabbing your pillow violently, getting up from the bed, Gerard looking at you with no emotion. “Fuck you.” You stated.

“Are you seriously gonna leave?” He asked, rolling his eyes, “Immature.” “No, I’m going to the fucking couch where I don’t have to sleep next to a complete dick.” You fired back, going into your closet and grabbing a spare blanket. “You didn’t mean that.” He scoffed.

“Then why the fuck did I say it?” You marched out of the bedroom, flipping him off to which you heard a sarcastic laugh.

This was far from how you had planned his return. You were gonna stock the fridge and pantry, ya know, not give him a chance to think you weren’t eating, and probably have dinner made. You would eat a small portion, making the excuse you had a big lunch with your friends, and bam! Everything would be okay.

But naturally, shit didn’t work out and after numerous insults thrown at each other you found yourself on the couch silently sobbing. You and Gerard had never gone that far, ever. This fight was beyond messy, it was a complete dumpster fire.

You wanted no more than to apologize to him, but you also wanted an apology from him. You should’ve told him everything, that was on you. But he pushed your buttons and he knew what he was doing. It only took 15 minutes, before you heard his soft footsteps coming from the bedroom, and his warm arms wrapping around you, to which his shoulder became one to cry on. His slow and soft coos calming you down, as he began apologizing over and over again, clearly more mad at himself at this point. “Sugar, I’m so so sorry,” He apologized, “I was just really upset.” “I know,” You sniffled, “I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have called you a dick.” You looked up at him. “Well, I was kinda being one.” He lightly smiled, to which you giggled in his chest. “Just promise me, you’ll start eating again.” “Gee-” You were about to make an excuse when you were interrupted.

“Babe, you have to.” He began, “Remember what your manager said last time?” You sighed, remembering. Yep, they would place you right in a psych ward. “So here’s what’s gonna happen. We’re not gonna tell anyone, but I need you to start eating, okay? We’ll go gradually, start small and build up. Together, okay?” You nodded, placing you head on his shoulder.

“I love you,” You smiled, looking up at him. “I love you too.” He smiled right back down.

-Six months later-

"Gee, that’s too much salt!” You scolded as he put a tablespoon of salt not a teaspoon into the cookie dough you were making.

“Oops.” He looked down to which you smiled lightly. You took a chunk of it placing it into your mouth, and he did the same. You couldn’t help but gag at how much salt was in it. “Salty.” He admitted, and you lightly nudged him.

“Yeah, ya dork.” You smiled. “That’s what happens when you add too much salt.” He lightly laughed, wrapping his hands around your waist from behind and placing his head on your shoulder.

“So what’re we gonna do to fix it.” “Nothing,” You said, “We could like, triple the batch, but that would be way too much.”

“Don’t forget we’re seeing the guys tonight,” He smiled, “They’re gonna eat this shit up.” You sighed, nodding.

“Maybe it isn’t such a bad idea after all.” The two of you spent the next half hour adding more of every ingredient, thankful that your apartment was stocked with food to use.

Carefully, you placed as many trays as you could into the oven, closing it and setting the timer. Giving Gerard a quick peck on the lips, he went off to review some emails as you checked your phone. Of course, the group chat was buzzing.

You sighed as you open the text chain reluctantly, scrolling through only to see your name pop up numerous times. “Y/N, where have you been?” “Yeah, fr, we have been out to lunch with you in forever.” “Why are you ignoring us?” “Really? Now you’re being a fake friend.” “Guys, I’m okay.” You simply responded, “Just really busy.”

“Uh huh, you’ve been doing boutique stuff for months.” “Literally nothing even big.” “Not since that Prada show.” “It’s Gerard, isn’t it.”

And just like that, you were about to light these girls up. Gerard was the only one willing, and quite frankly able, to get you out of the huge hole you had dug yourself into. And damn, now these bitches (I hate misogynistic terms against women, but I think it may fit here) were really gonna act like the good guys. “Don’t bring Gerard into this.” You simply responded. “It has to be him.” “He’s not even worth it.” “You could have any guy in the world, and you chose him.” “He’s way out of your league, and you’re still on your knees for him. Smh.” You knew damn well they were trying to get to you. None of these girls had had any true romance, only summer flings with football players, actors, and singers. Granted, Gerard was a singer, but he made good music. He was an artist at his core, singing was just apart of that art. It didn’t take you more than a moment to remove yourself from the group chat, and block all those girls. The real fake friends. The timer went off, which startled you a bit, but placing your phone down with a heavy sigh, you turned it off, to check out the cookies. The top row was done, which you were going to take out. Naturally, the tsunami of inappropriate texts from who you would once call your “girlfriends” was still flooded in your mind, and like a complete idiot, you reached in, touching and grabbing the sheet. With you bare hands.

“Shit!” You yelped, dropping the pan on the open oven and rushing to put your hand under cold water.

“Y/N?” You heard Gerard rush in. You looked up at him, and judging your hand under water, and the cookie sheet which had clearly gone through it, he took a slight sigh, first going to examine your hand. “You alright?” You nodded despite the tears forming in your eyes.

It wasn’t even the burn that hurt. It was the fact that you knew you let those girls get to you so easily, and the just embarrassed yourself in front of Gerard. You knew he didn’t find it embarrassing at all, it was an honest mistake. But still, it embarrassed the shit out of you. “Baby,” He cooed, moving your head up with his fingers under your chin to see the tears that were now slowly cascading down your red cheeks, “It’s okay.” He said lightly. You nodded, placing your head into his chest and sniffling a bit. “What happened.” “I was just distracted,” You admitted, “Forgot the oven mitt.” He nodded, holding you for a moment longer before he knew you were okay, and going to pick up the mess. “Gee, I can clean it up, I made it-” “No, no, please, just worry about your hand, okay, sugar?” You nodded, attending back to it.

The bright red mark across your hand didn’t want to budge, which you were fine with, considering it didn’t hurt as much, just stung a bit. He managed to clean up all the cookies pretty fast, putting them on the stove top to cool, and quickly going back to you. Giving you a kiss on the top of your head, it was his way of messaging he didn’t want to push the topic. But if you wanted to talk he’d be there to listen. It wasn’t but a few hours later that the guys came over. The mistake from earlier was long forgotten, other than the mark on your hand.

The guys were honestly some of your best friends, just like they were Gerard’s. They truly cared about you, just as much if not more than you cared about them. All of them knew about your struggles, and they were honestly your number one cheerleaders.

So the looks on their faces when they saw you healthy again was one that you could not pay for. It was definitely a lot of pride in you for doing it, and it made you feel even better about your decision to get healthy again.

Honestly, you loved the relaxes atmosphere of just hanging out. Sitting next to Gerard with some water, as he drank a Diet Coke, and some of the guys had beers, some opted otherwise. You could theoretically drink as well, but you didn’t want your boyfriend to ever feel alone or strange not drinking alcohol, considering his rough past with it. So you typically opted for a non alcoholic beverage.

It wasn’t until after the guys were gone and you were in the shower that Gerard figured out what was wrong. Your phone kept buzzing, going off constantly. He had never once checked your phone without your permission. There was a huge element of trust in your relationship, and he never felt that there was a reason to. He knew your passcode, you two had openly shared each others in the case one of you needed to use the others phone, but when he picked up yours and saw all those girls name pop up he scoffed.

He knew he probably shouldn’t have done it, but he opened your phone, scrolling through the messages. Some of them you had yet to block, and they were obnoxious. He went into the group chat where the messages were flooding, reading from the beginning of the day until now.

Pissed was an absolute understatement. If it wasn’t for the sound of the shower you were in keeping him aware of his surrounding, he probably would have smashed your phone. Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he placed it face down on the counter right where it was, resorting back to your bedroom in some hope of calming down before you got out, not making anything too obvious.

Everything was fine, completely normal. The two of you laying in bed together, doing your typical night time routine of reading a bit, maybe watching something, it really depended. You could feel how tense Gerard was, even by your head just leaning on his shoulder. His muscles flexed together, twisted into tight knots. You weren’t sure what had him so stressed, there wasn’t a need for him to be, right? “Babe?” You asked, to which he quietly hummed, “Are you alright?” You had caught on quickly, like you always had. And now he had cursed himself for looking at those messages. Transparency, he remembered, transparency.

“Honestly,” He sighed putting his book down, “I- I- I saw those messages.” He stumbled on his own words. You gave him a confused look, “The ones the girls sent.” You let out a sigh. Oh shit, he thought, thinking the worst of the worst. “Please don’t listen to them,” You insisted, “You know you’re not the reason for any problem in my life?” “Of course not,” He scoffed, “You’re totally fine. It’s just, how they treated you that bothered me.” “Gee-” “Y/N, we’ve talked about this.” He turned to you, “I’m not a controlling person, I try my hardest not to be. But damn, those girls are complete poisons. They’re hurting you, they’re doing far more harm than good. And I hope that doesn’t make me sound like a manipulator or anything, but even you’ve admitted you’re a lot different around them.” You sighed and nodded.

“I know, I just-” You began, “I’ve spent so many years of my life surrounding myself with people like them that it’s hard for me to know what to do without that, ya know?” He nodded.

“You don’t need a bunch of model friends thought to still be a great model.” You nodded.

“I’ll cut everything off with them in the morning, okay?” “Babe, you don’t need to rush it,” He said, “I mean, sure, the sooner the better, but this is your timing okay?” You nodded.

“Do you think everything will be okay?” You asked him next.

“Well, after they very possibly blame you for everything over text and try to put you down a psychological spiral, because that’s what they do, then yes, everything should be okay.” He smiled to which you nudged him. “You’re making this so much easier.” You sarcastically said, “I don’t even know why I ask you.” “Because you love me.”

[come-on-shitty-boys]

// everywhere. kuroo tetsurou //

Warnings: um mcd 

Word Count: 1.5K

Notes: everyone, I apologize. Except you onyx.  I’m not fucking sorry.

It’s in the sound of the door clicking shut at 5:37 every afternoon.  It’s in the sound of the kettle singing brightly in the morning, signaling the coming warmth and comfort of a fresh cup of tea. Clinking spoons against bowls and the smell of fresh brewed coffee ready to be poured into mugs and carried to work.  Everything carries him with it.  Kuroo Tetsurou turned your tiny little one bedroom apartment from just a place to come home to at the end of the night into a home that smelled like pine and green apples, where both sides of the bed were warm and legs were tangled in moments of lazy intimacy with blankets cast over laps and heads met shoulders in tender silence.

He was home in the feeling of the sun raining in through the blinds every morning, warming your skin and pushing your face further into Kuroo’s chest, pulling the duvet further over your body, not ready for the abrasive ringing of his alarm that would come in only a matter of minutes.  He would snooze it the first time, slamming his head against the bedside table until he found his phone to hit that magic button to shut that damn thing up.  In ten minutes, those amber eyes would ease open, catching the rays of the morning sun in a way that would make them glow brighter than any star in the night sky.  He would breath deep, his back arching off the mattress ever so slightly as he would stretch out his long body for the first time in hours.  The hand that was laid securely on your waist for most of the night would drift up to rub the sleep from his eyes before raking through his hair with a disgruntled groan.  It was the start to every morning and neither of you could ask for a better beginning together.  Elbows would bump and laughter would echo through the tiny bathroom as the two of you brush your teeth, taking turns to spit in the single sink.  He would help you fix the back of your hair and you would stand on your toes to better reach his lips where a gentle kiss would be placed for the first time that day.

The smell of coffee wafting through the apartment would pull you from the bathroom as you neared the end of your morning routine, two tubes of lipstick in your hands.  “As stunning as always,” Kuroo says, a gentle smile on his face as he leans down to give you a second kiss before dividing the coffee between two travel tall travel mugs, whole milk and two spoons worth of sugar added into his mug while you prepare your own.

You stop him before he can open a new kitchen cabinet to grab two bowls.  “Baby Doll or Corset?”  You hold up the two tubes of lipstick, one in each hand to give him a clear view of both colors.

Kuroo takes both tubes from you, examining the colors closer and then looking back at you, taking in your outfit, the color of your eyes, the pretty sparkles that you added onto your eyelids that you would complain about taking off later.  He did this every morning.  He would look at the colors and then look at you, going back to the tubes of lipstick only seconds later.  But his answer was always the same.  

“Baby Doll for my baby doll.”

And Kuroo would laugh a warm steady laugh as you would meet the eyes of your reflection in the microwave and part your lips to swipe the applicator with that sweet Baby Doll pink across them.  It was domestic bliss at its finest, the life that Kuroo had always dreamed of, the life that you had graciously given him without a second thought.  Even with all of the ups and downs, the long nights spent in a tight stubborn silence because both of you refused to admit that you were wrong, you were still his favorite version of home to come back to at the end of the day.  He took comfort in how tightly your arms would settle around his waist as he trudged through the door after work, not even having time to set his briefcase down before you were beaming up at him happily, asking him how his day was, waiting for him to lean down for a kiss that you would accept wholeheartedly.  

It’s 11:17 when he finally settles into bed next to you, hair still damp from a shower, ready to be ruffled under the brutal assault of a pillow in his slumber.  You would always start on your separate sides, but by 11:20, the space between you would be reduced to nothing and his hand would find the dip in your waist, drawing small circles against your skin as your nose filled with the comforting scent of pine and green apples.

But that scent had long begun to fade and the warmth from the right side of the bed was gone after the first night without him.  There was no obnoxious alarm to pull you both from your slumber in the morning and there was freshly brewed coffee in your travel mug when you finished your make-up.  The Valentine’s Day roses had wilted into a sad brown clump of dead buds on the dresser, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to throw them away, letting the smell of death puncture the air, but it’s not like you could bring yourself to care anyway.

You took it better than you ever thought you would.  The first day after it all happened, his phone still sang its song and you got out of bed at 6:30 after snoozing it only once, just like you would every other morning.  The sheets and the pillows still smelled like him and his toothbrush was still in the cup right next to yours.  If anyone would ask you about those first few days, you would say that you swear he had been there the entire time.  You can so vividly remember seeing him in the mirror next to you in the morning and you distinctly remember the smell of fresh coffee as you applied your final bit of make-up.  Your boss had been so surprised to see you waltz into the office that first day, your normal cheery smile on those pretty Baby Doll colored lips, but had said that they were happy to see you holding up so well.

The last rose wilted on day three and it was on that day that you waited patiently for the click of the door that would signal Tetsurou’s return from the office.  5:37 came and went and there was no sound of the door.  It was 6:37 before you dialed his cell phone to ask if he was okay, but the automated voice of a woman on the other end just told you to leave a message after the tone.  His phone died on the second day.  He hadn’t been there to put it on the charger the night before and the battery finally gave out.  

You had never realized how cold a queen sized bed was when there was no one to share it with.

It had been eight days since you stood next to his grandmother, silent tears rolling down your face as you held your sides in some desperate attempt at comfort.  A piece of granite stood strongly in the grass at the head of a large hole in the ground.  It had been etched with a name that you didn’t think you’d be seeing on a headstone for many more years, but the beautiful script was too real.

                                              Kuroo Tetsurou

                                Loving grandson, son, and fiance

                          November 17, 1994 - February 15, 2021

You hadn’t left his side of the bed in days, scared that if you moved the last faint whiff of his scent would finally disappear.  The pillows that would style his hair each night were now stained with a mix of mascara and tears from long hours of crying until you didn’t have any tears left to give.  

Kuroo Tetsurou should have been everywhere.  But he wasn’t.  Kuroo wasn’t there to kiss you goodbye and he wasn’t there to pull the blanket up over your body on those evenings where you would fall asleep whilst watching reruns of whatever sitcom was on that day.  No, Kuroo wasn’t there.  His stuff was.  His dead phone was on the bedside table.  His favorite coffee cup still sat in the sink unwashed.  His briefcase sat next to the door, collecting a thin layer of dust on the leather.  His shoes still sat next to yours, making them seem so small in comparison.

Kuroo Tetsurou’s stuff was everywhere and it was suffocating you with the constant reminder that he had died alongside those roses, leaving you alone in your tiny little one bedroom apartment.

{taglist: @moncymonce​ @nicka-nell​ @lovinnoya​ @wak4tosh1​}

[supernatural-jackles]

The Man on the Side of the Road - Part 15

Title: The Man on the Side of the Road - Part 15

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 4,747

Warnings: ANGST, Ketch, Violence, Mentions of Blood, Mentions of Non-con, Reader’s Mother, Fluff! 

Summary: Driving down the road, going well over the speed limit. You come across a man walking in the opposite direction with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. His head cast down as he walked. Your gut instinct is telling you to check on this man, no matter what your parents told you growing up. Little did you know just how much this would change your life.

The Man on the Side of the Road - Masterlist

A/N: Only one more part after this! As always, please leave your thoughts when you finish reading! Your response is what keeps me going! Happy Reading!! 

 The sounds of beeping filled your ears as you adjusted yourself on the pillow. Your heart beat was steady and your mind was filled with a million thoughts, thoughts that weren’t necessarily good ones. You had stopped shaking for the most part, but the thoughts - well they weren’t going away.

 “Hi, Miss Y/LN,” a kind female voice filled your ears, grabbing your attention. You turned your head to glance over at her. A short blonde with her hair half up half down. Her clipboard in her hand and a soft smile playing on her lips.

 “Yeah?” you responded.

 “We’ve called your emergency contact,” she informed you. Oh god, who was your emergency contact again. It wasn't your mother, you had changed that a long time ago. It wouldn’t have been your dad. He was out of the country more often than not. Had you changed it to Dean? You definitely should have. You had been with him for awhile now. “He’s on his way.”

 “Dean?” you dared to ask.

 “Yes,” she nodded. “He’s looking forward to seeing his girl, is what he said on the phone.”

 “He’s a dork,” you smiled to yourself. “I’m lucky to have him.”

 “After what you’ve been through, I can imagine that you’re going to need him to lean on.”

 “He’s the best person in the entire world,” you breathed out.

 “He’ll be here soon,” she smiled. “Just press the button if you need anything, okay?”

 “Thank you,” you nodded.

 She slipped out of the room, quietly closing the door behind her. You turned your head back to the side, trying to make yourself comfortable as you waited for your knight in shining armour to get here. You couldn’t wait to see him walk through that door, and finally be in his arms.

 It took every ounce of you not to let the tears roll down your cheeks. You could feel the tightness in your chest growing stronger and stronger. Even the heart rate monitor was fluctuating the more your head spun in circles. Everything would be okay when Dean got here. He would fix you. He’d mend the broken pieces, and kiss the bruises you got along the way.

 You tried to replace the bad thoughts with good ones. You had plenty of good memories you had created over the last few months. The road trip with Dean where your feelings only grew stronger. The late night chats in your bed while you held each other. The movie nights. Mini golf. Dean was your person. He was your better half. He was everything you needed to be okay again. You only knew that because you were the very same for him. The two of you had come such a long way since that night.

 You heard the door open quietly, followed by the heavy foot falls. Your ears perked up, looking towards the door. Dean stood there with a sadness in his eyes. Not that you could really blame him. If the roles were reversed, you would have broken down already.

 “Hi,” you greeted him, looking over to him with sad eyes.

 “Sweetheart, what happened?” he frowned, making his way over to the hospital bed. You moved over a little, wanting him to sit next to you. You wanted to be in his arms. That was your top priority. Being in the arms of the man you loved. He kicked off his boots before lifting the blanket up, joining you in the tiny bed.

 You moved closer to him, not caring about how sore your muscles were. You wanted Dean. That was it. You threw your arm around his middle, resting your head on his shoulder as you breathed him in. He wrapped his arm around you, placing his lips to the top of your head.

 “I love you,” you whispered, “so much.”

 “I love you too, Y/N,” he said lowly. “How hurt are you? Is it just the cut on your head?”

 “Some bruises too, but my head is the worst of it,” you shared.

 “What the hell happened?” he questioned.

 “I was studying in the library for most of the afternoon. I got bored of it and figured that I may as well go home and relax before my head exploded. I packed up and got ready to go. I was walking out of the library when I was pulled into one of the computer rooms.”

 “Fuck, Ketch?” he practically growled.

 “Unfortunately,” you nodded.

                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 You threw your bag over your shoulder, adjusting it so it wouldn’t dig into you too much as you walked. You were about done studying for the day. You had finales coming up, and you were finally almost done with this portion of college. It was only a matter of days until you found out if you got into a teacher's college or not. You had a good feeling about it, and so did Dean.

 You reached down to find your phone, only to realize you had packed it in your bag by mistake. You were going to text Dean to let him know you were heading home early. Just like you always did. You opened up your bag, searching inside it to try and find your phone.

 You felt someone grab you from behind, and pull you backwards into one of the computer rooms. You were more confused than anything, until you realized who dragged you in. You swore, your heart sank into your stomach at the site of him. How did you ever find this man attractive?

 “What the fuck, Ketch?” you furrowed your brows.

 “I wanted to talk to you,” he said, his voice deeper than usual.

 “So you grabbed me and dragged me into an empty room?” you growled.

 “Yes, but I knew you wouldn’t talk to me otherwise,” he stated.

 “You’re right,” you scoffed, moving to head towards the door. He moved quickly, standing in front of the door so you couldn’t leave. “Move.”

 “Not until I say this,” he began, taking a deep breath. “I made a mistake.”

 “Oh well,” you rolled your eyes.

 “Would you just listen to me?” he raised his voice a little, making you back up. “I have been horrible to you. I lied to you. I cheated on you. I made you feel worthless and I said a lot of things I didn’t mean because I was mad. I was pissed you left me at the altar on our wedding day, and I was pissed that you humiliated me in front of everyone.”

 “I humiliated you? Are you fucking kidding me, Ketch?” you groaned. “You cheated on me with my best friend for two years of our relationship. Two years! Not only that, you knocked her up, and where are you now? Oh yeah, you’re here instead of with her and your fucking daughter! You ruined her life, do you not understand that? You destroyed her future because you couldn’t put a damn condom on.”

 “She came onto-”

 “Don’t you dare give me that lame excuse! Jo already told me what you were doing! The money. The threesome! I know all about it,” you argued. “I didn’t humiliate you. You did that all on your own. You never thought I had it in me to stand up for myself when an asshole like you does me wrong. I spent so much time hating you and hating myself for what you did. I spent so much time trying to figure out what it was about me that turned you off. Then I realized, you were never into me. Not really. You never treated me as someone you loved and I get that now that I’m with someone who treats me like a queen.”

 “You’re not -”

 “I’m not done,” you pointed at him before crossing your arms. “I should have left you long before I did. All you ever did was lie to me, cheat on me, and treat me like your little bitch. How many times did you push me around? How many times did you have sex with me without my consent? Or my favourite, how many times did you degrade me, and remind me of why my mom would never love me? Too many to count, Ketch. You go around and pretend like your dick is the biggest out there. Well guess what? You are still that same disgusting low life I left at the altar. And that day is actually one of the best days of my life. I look back on that day every single day and smile because I made the best decision I have ever made. It was the day I finally realized that I didn’t care anymore. Not about you, not about my mom. Nothing. It was the day I met the love of my life, and every day after that has been a fucking blessing without you. While you’re out there fucking anything and everything, I know exactly what it’s like to be loved, and cherished. I know what it’s like to feel beautiful and appreciated. Something you’ll never make any woman feel.”

 “You know why you never felt that way? I never loved you,” he chuckled. “In fact, your mom practically begged me to ask you out. Please go out with my lame, no good daughter. She’s never going to find anyone to love her. I sympathized with her at one point, you know? I understood why she could never love you the way she loves me. I’m not a failure. I’ve got money-”

 “You have a shitty personality is what you have,” you rolled your eyes. “And that’s just to start. I don’t know what you thought you were going to accomplish here, but there is no way in hell I’m ever going to have anything to do with you again. You’re already a deadbeat dad, which, thanks for that because half the town bet money on that. But you’re never going to be satisfied with the life you live, and in a way, that makes me happy. I am happy with my life, and who I’m spending the rest of it with. Dean’s a great man, and an even better boyfriend than you could ever dream of being. Money doesn’t buy you everything. It’s not going to buy you someone to love that insanely insecure little boy that’s hiding inside you. The one who’s daddy didn’t care about him.”

 “You fucking bitch,” he shook his head.

 “Have a nice life, Ketch,” you shrugged as you uncrossed your arms. You walked past him, reaching for the door to finally walk out on him for the very last time. You twisted the knob, only to be shoved into the door by a strong force. “Get off me!”

 “Did you really think you were going to get away without a fight?” he said. You could hear the smirk on his face. Your heart began to pound in your chest, as you tried to wiggle your way out of his hold.

 “I said, get off me,” you declared, trying to shove him off you.

 “No, no! That’s not how this is going to go,” he growled in your ear. “Dean Winchester is never going to want to touch a filthy whore like you ever again. Not when he finds out that you wanted me again.”

 You took a deep breath, reminding yourself that this piece of shit wasn’t worth getting to you. You knew for a fact that Dean wasn’t going to believe a word that came out of his mouth. Dean trusted you more than anyone. You had that tight bond from the start. He’d want you to fight back with everything you had in you. That’s what you were going to do. Take all the pent up rage you harboured towards him and pile it onto him. He had it coming.

 You pushed yourself off the door as hard as you could. You sent yourself stumbling back, taking Ketch down with you. You removed your back from your shoulder, pushing it off to the side. It was only going to weigh you down and give him something to hold against you. You were quick in getting back on your feet, trying to keep yourself as calm as you could.

 “You know, it’s only a matter of time until Dean stops loving you anyways. You’ll come crawling back to me, begging me to take you back.”  

 “No he won’t,” you shook your head, trying to make a break for the door once more. Ketch kicked you down, effectively knocking you to the ground once more. “You can say whatever you want to me. This is going to end the same way.”

 “No it’s not,” he chuckled. “I always get what I want.”

 “No you don’t,” you let out a laugh. “That’s why we’re here. You can’t stand the fact that I left you. Not the other way around.”

 You got up once more, using the wall to keep you upright. He moved quickly, getting to his feet. You didn’t know what to expect from him. He was capable of anything and everything. You needed to get out of the room. You needed to put yourself as far away as you could possibly get from him.

 “You know, all of my friends saw you naked,” he smirked. “I used to show them all the naughty pictures of you to give them a good laugh.”

 “Too insecure to show them your tiny dick?” you clapped back. Before you could even register what was happening. His hand came up and striked you across the face.

 “I never felt bad for laying a hand on you,” he shrugged with a smile, grabbing your face in his hand. “You deserved it.” You brought your knee up, using as much force as you could to hit him where it hurt to get him off of you. You hoped that was what you needed to make a run for it. He doubled over in pain, cupping his junk in his hands before hitting the ground. This was it. Your time to go.

 You stalked over to the corner, reaching for your back so you could make a run for it. You needed to get home as fast as you could. Or better yet, make it to the garage so you were safe with Bobby and Dean. That would be the better place. You pulled your bag over your shoulder, reaching for the door knob once more, only to have something wrap around your foot, pulling you down.

 You felt a sharp pain in your forehead, along with something warm. You reached up to touch it, soon finding blood on the tips of your fingers. He had pulled you down and you hit your head on a desk on the way down.

 “You’re not going anywhere,” he breathed out, trying to catch his breath. He still had a hold on your foot. You needed to kick him again and move quickly. Your life depended on it now. No more fun and games. “You’re my little slut.”

 “You’re wrong,” you declared, reaching your foot down to kick him once more. He let out a loud cry, releasing your foot. You got up as quickly as you could, finally reaching the door to get out. The knob opened easily, and you took off running. You needed to put as much space between you and that room as possible. You could feel the blood trickling down the side of your head as you searched for a way - any way to get out of the library.

 “Y/N!” you heard a female voice call out. “Hey, hey! What happened?” Ruby. Thank god for Ruby.

 “Ketch,” you managed to say. “Ketch, back there.”

 “C’mon, we need to get you to the hospital to get you checked out,” she told you. “You’re going to be okay. He’s not going to hurt you again. I promise.”

                            ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 “Sweetheart,” he breathed out, pulling you in closer to him.

 “I’m okay, Dean. For the most part anyways,” you assured him. “It was a little touch and go before you got here, but having you here now makes me feel safer.”

 “God, if I ever see him again,” he growled.

 “I don’t think you’ll be seeing him for a while,” you swallowed hard. “I’m filing for a restraining order now. I’m not going to run the risk of this happening again, and certainly not to you either. I want me and my family safe.”

 “I’m proud of you,” he said softly. “I just wish I was there to protect you.”

 “You were,” you stated.

 “What do you mean?” he furrowed his brows.

 “Dean, I never would have been able to stand up to him the way I did today if it wasn’t for you,” you started. “I never would have gotten out of there on my own.”

 “I think you would have,” he shrugged.

 “I don’t,” you swallowed hard. “I was so weak before. I never would have stood up to him the way I did today. Not to the extent I did. I never would have forced him off me or hit him back. Ever since the day I met you, you have given me strength, Dean. You’ve built me up so much that I believe in myself more than I ever have. You’ve given me a life worth living. You’ve given me confidence, and shown me what happiness feels like. I know I didn’t need you there to fight that battle for me. You taught me how to do it all on my own. I hate to admit it to you, but the day I found you was one of the best days of my life.”

 “It was the worst day of my life, and one of the greatest,” he confessed. “You are strong. You always have been. You just never saw it the way I did. Y/N, if I’ve given you a life worth living, you’ve given me so much more. You’ve given me everything.”

 “I was laying here, waiting for you to get here. My head wandering over everything,” you paused. “I just wanted to say thank you for showing me what it’s like. To love and be so loved by someone. Thank you for trusting me, and for making it so easy for me to trust you completely. Thank you for always making me laugh, and for making me feel cherished. I know when I’m with you that it’s where I belong. After trying so hard my entire life to get my mom to love me, and everyone else; I didn’t have to try with you.”

 “Because I love you for everything that makes you the way you are. I love you more and more everyday,” he half smiled. “I can say all the same things to you, Y/N. You know the life I’ve lived. You saved my life, literally. From that day on, things have only looked up. Until today. I never want to get a call telling me you’re in the hospital.”

 “Understandable,” you let out a dry laugh. “You remember a couple of months ago when I woke up in the middle of the night after a dream?”

 “Yeah, the one you told me you’d tell me about someday,” he nodded, resting his head carefully on top of yours.

 “I was pregnant in the dream,” you breathed out. “We were pregnant with a little girl in the dream. It was a Friday and I had just got home from work to see you. You kneeled down and kissed my stomach and told our baby that you loved her. I have the dream again every couple of months. Same one every time. Sometimes I’m a little further along. After today and finally shutting that final door on Ketch. It feels like it’s actually a place I’ll be able to get to one day.”

 “We are going to get there someday, Y/N,” he said softly. “I can promise you that someday we’re going to get there and we’re going to have a whole lot of fun getting there. I’ve had that dream with you for a long time.”

 “Really?”  

 “Yeah, really,” he nodded. “You have always been my future, Y/N. Right from the second I got in your car after that motel room. You told me that there is always someone out there wanting to read my story. You opened that first page and you kept turning the page. You have never given up on me. You’ve never let me down. I feel sorry for the people in your life that couldn’t see the things I see. I know that I’m going to love you for the rest of my life. Nothing is ever going to change that.”

 “Best book I’ve opened up,” you let out a chuckle. “I love you, Dean Winchester.”

 “I love you more, Y/N Y/L/N,” he whispered. “How’s your head?”

 “I have a bit of a headache. They said that’s normal,” you informed him.

 “Alright,” he nodded. “That earns you a night of cuddling in a dark bedroom.”

 “Sorry to interrupt,” the female nurse said quietly as she stepped into the room. “I have your release papers here. But there is also someone here who’d like to see you. Dean, I’m going to need you to go over the papers since you’re taking her home. It just says that she has a minor concussion, and she’s to take it easy for the next ten days. Lots of rest, drink lots of water.”

 “Got it,” he nodded.

 “Who’s here?” you dared to ask.

 “Your mom. She caught wind that you were here when she was at the front desk. I just wanted to make sure it was okay with you,” she smiled softly.

 “Alright,” you agreed. This should be good, you thought to yourself.

 “You sure about this?” Dean questioned.

 “I’m going all Cinderella Story. Only my ex and my actual mom in one day,” you declared.

 “Okay diner girl,” he joked.

 “I’ll let her in,” the nurse informed you before slipping out the door once more.

 You took a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself for what was to come. You knew it wasn’t going to be good. It was your mom for crying out loud. She never cared about you and she wasn’t about to start now. She was more than likely going to take Ketch’s side and you fully expected it.

 The door opened once more, revealing your mother as she stepped inside, shutting the door once more. She let out a sigh as soon as she saw you and you almost wanted to roll your eyes.

 “What the hell happened?” she raised her voice, making her way over to the hospital bed.

 “Ketch,” you stated nonchalantly.

 “Can I have a moment alone with my daughter?” she said coldly towards Dean.

 “Whatever you have to say to me, you’re saying in front of Dean too,” you declared.

 “Fine,” she scoffed. “You need to get yourself together, Y/N. This is getting to be too dramatic now. You had your fun and games. You had your freedom to do whoever you please. It's time to take action and get your life together. You graduate in three weeks. You were supposed to be married by now to a great man-”

 “Excuse me? You think Ketch is a great man? I’m in the hospital because of him right now. How hard is it for you to understand that I’m never going to be the kid you always wanted. I have dreams of my own, and standards that I set myself to. I’m not going to marry someone that you deemed as perfect for me when he hurt me more ways than I can count-”

 “You humiliated him!”

 “No, I didn’t. He did that to me when he knocked up Jo, after he paid her to have sex with him and his friend, while he was with me. I’m not going to be your barbie doll anymore. I’m not going to stay with someone who thinks it’s okay to get violent when he doesn’t get what he wants. I’m not going to marry someone who manipulated me and god knows how many other girls in his life because he’s bored.”

 “He was going to take care of you so you never had to worry about work or money. He was going to give you the best life possible-”

 “No he wasn’t. He was going to try to make me like the person you always wanted to be. I’m not like you and I’m never going to be. I like the small house I live in with the love of my life. I like eating fries, and pizza. I like road trips, and hotel rooms. Diner food, and cheap dates. I have never needed someone to have money or give me the life you wanted. I’m happier now than I have ever been and that’s because I have him. Someone who treats me like a queen and not a house maid. Someone who shows me what love is because my own mother couldn’t do that for me. And you’re never going to. You’re always going to see me as a disappointment and that’s fine. As far as I’m concerned, you have no place in my life. I don’t need any toxic people that aren’t going to cheer me on. I have dad. I have Dean and I have his family.”

 “Don’t come running back to me when he cheats on you-”

 “Like Ketch? Dean’s not like that,” you side-eyed her.

 “Yeah-”

 “I’m not in the slightest,” Dean added in. “You can’t even compare me to him when you don’t know the first thing about me. You don’t know the kind of person I am, or the relationship I have with your daughter. You don’t know that she saved my life, or that she’s got the biggest heart of anyone I know. You don’t know me and you don’t know your daughter, and that sucks for you. You’ll never get to experience the smile on her face when she’s happy to see you after a long day. You’ll never get to hear her laugh when she thinks something’s funny. You’ll never get the hugs that you need after a long day, because they make everything better. Worst of all, you’re not going to get to see her become the mother she always dreamed of having. You dictated so much of her life to try and cater to your needs instead of your own. But I can see that it didn’t work because there is nothing of you that I can see in her.”

 “Excuse me?” she growled.

 “I think it’s time you left. She has a concussion and you being here isn’t good for her head,” Dean told her, pulling you in closer.

 “Don’t you dare think about reaching out to me ever again, Y/N Y/L/N. I don’t ever want to hear from you again. As far as I’m concerned, you’re dead to me.”

 “Fine by me. You were never a mother to me so I’m not missing anything,” you pointed out. With that, your mother stood up and stormed out of the room without another word. You finally released the breath you were holding and nuzzled into Dean a little bit more.

 “You okay?” he asked you.

 “Yeah,” you smiled into his neck. “I’ve got you and that’s all that matters.”

 “She’s going to regret that everyday for the rest of her life,” he muttered.

 “I know,” you agreed. “But if she can’t take my side and hear me out, then we’re never going to see eye to eye. You don’t deserve to be compared to Ketch. You’re a good man with a big heart. That’s the man I love. Thank you for sticking up for me.”

 “I’ve wanted to give her a piece of my mind since the day I first met her and she made you cry,” he revealed. “No one hurts my girl and gets away with it.”

 “I’m ready to go home now,” you breathed out.

 “Alright, let’s get you out of here then. We’ll go home and get you to bed. I promise you cuddles all night in the middle of our bed. Maybe even a few kisses.”

 “I want thirty seven kisses,” you chuckled.

 “I’ll double that and let you see me naked,” he teased.

 “What did I ever do without you?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Final Part Coming Sunday!

Did you like it? What was your favourite part? Share your thoughts with me via reblog, reply or send me an ask! Your response keeps this writer sharing content like this! 

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Under The Mat  (M) - 2

— pairing | Jeon Jungkook /Reader

— word c | 9.917

— genre | Ceo!Jungkook, angst. Eventualy Smut.

— summary |  After what happened in Jungkook's Offcie, you no longer know what to feel, and after a lie, you end up on a business trip with him. One week in Seattle. What can go wrong?

— warnings/tags | Adult content,  eventual smut, low slang words, cheating, mentions of alcohol use and harassment. No smut in this chapter, but don’t worry, it will come soon. 

| 1 | 2

"Wait, what?" Irina said dropping her fork on the plate after you explained the reason for the urgency of that meeting you had set up with her. You had run to your house and taken a shower, realizing that your panties were not on your body, just imagining that it would be with Jeon. Then you called your friend desperately, saying you needed to talk to her. You had told her what happened hours ago in your former boss office. As expected, she was stunned. "Your boss confess his feelings to you and then give you an oral."

"Irina, if I wanted the whole restaurant to know I would have announced it with a microphone."

“Sorry, (Y/N), but that is a lot of information. So that's why he kicked me at the club. He wanted you. ”

“Look, this is not the point. The point is that I cheated on Hoseok. And I feel terrible about it and I don't know what to do about it. He will hate me if I tell him, but if I don't tell him now and he finds out for someone else later, it will be even worse. ”

“And how was he going to find out? Only you, me, Jungkook and his office desk know about this. ” You rolled your eyes and stared at her with a killer look, making her raise her hands in surrender. “What I'm saying is, you don't have to tell. It was a mistake, and if you don't want it, it won't happen again. Everyone makes mistakes after all. And if you don't tell him, I won't do that either. And I'm sure Jungkook and his office desk aren't either. ”

"Stop talking about Jungkook's office desk, for God's sake." You said putting your hands on your head, feeling desperate.

"Or you can just break up with Hoseok."

“I cannot break up with Hoseok. I like him, we've been together for years. I can't just tell him that I want to break up without giving any reason or explanation. ”

“(Y/N), people change. Feelings change too. And I know you too well, if you didn't want Jungkook to touch you the way he did, you would have kicked him between the legs and sent him to hell. So it's obvious you want him too, but you're telling yourself that you don't because you can't stand the fact that you cheated on Hoseok. ”

"Since when do you sound like a psychologist?"

“I have a lot of free time, I like to study before I drink tequila, that makes me a smart alcoholic.” She said smiling, taking a sip of her champagne. "But if you are so sure you shouldn't have done what you did, you should talk to Jungkook about it and explain that what happened will not happen again." And so she went back to lunch. She was right, it wouldn't happen again, it was just a slip, you loved Hoseok and you would never want to hurt him like that. You knew that not telling him would be another betrayal, but you couldn't stand the thought of what would happen if he knew.

You took out your cell phone and saw almost a hundred messages from Jungkook. You didn't want to talk to him at the time, so you just turn of your phone and stuffed it in your bag, trying to get back to eating.

You spent the whole day with Irina, she tried to distract you with random things but nothing took what had happened earlier that day out of your mind. You also hadn't spoken to Hoseok, you were trying to compose yourself and thinking about what you really would do when you saw him in front of you.

When you got home at night, you took an icy shower before getting into your pajamas and curling up under the blankets looking at your cell phone so far still off and deciding whether to turn it on and face all the messages you had received from Jungkook and Hoseok. Taking a deep breath and deciding that at one time or another you would have to face it, you turned on the phone and waited for it to restart, being bombarded by notifications on the home screen.

Asshole: Are you okay?

Asshole: I understand why you ran like that but we need to talk.

Asshole: Please, honey, answer me. We need to talk.

Asshole: I know you wanted this as much as I did.

Asshole: I can't stop thinking about your pussy.

Asshole: You taste so good. I need more, I'm hooked.

Hobi: Hey, your phone is off. When you see this message call me, okay? Need to tell you something new.

Asshole: (Y/N), come on, don't ignore me like that, you know we need to talk about this.

Asshole: Okay, I'll wait until you see that you want me as much as I want you.

And the latest:

Asshole: You left your panties with me, if you don't want it back okay, but I think your boyfriend won't understand very well when he receive it in the mail tomorrow morning with my name on the package.

"Shit" You swore jumping on the bed, sitting down and automatically dialing Jeon's number on your phone.

"Did you miss me?" His voice, full of pretension, as expected, said from the other side.

"Don't you dare do what you wanted to do, Jeon Jungkook." You threatened, making your anger and frustration very evident in the tone of your voice.

"I would never do anything like that, dear, who do you think I am?" He asked in a false tone of disappointment and offense that made you roll your eyes.

"You are the devil, that's what I think."

He let out a sarcastic laugh on the other end.

"Are you ready to talk to me?"

"I'm listening."

“No, babe, that's not how it works and you know it. I'm coming over. I'll be there in fifteen minutes. You can wear whatever you want, but if you want to receive me naked, I will be even more happy. ”

And so he hung up making you let out a frustrated growl and stick your face in the pillow screaming. So then you sat down and understood what was about to happen. Jungkook would be there in 15 minutes and you were looking like the corpse bride in live action. You jumped up from bed and ran to your dressing table, looking for your makeup to at least hide the imperfections in your face. He had never seen you without makeup and this would not be the first time. You looked at yourself in the mirror, to your pajamas, wondering if you would change to something less wide, but then you heard your doorbell ring.

What?

As soon as you opened the door, you watched it. As always beautiful inside that suit. Hands in pocket, hair a little messy. He was looking at you with a victorious look on his eyes and you really wanted to punch him in the face so that he would lose that pretentious look.

“How did you get in here? The porter wasn’t at the reception? "

"He was, but I gave him three thousand dollars to let me in because I wanted to take you by surprise."

"Well, I hope you know that he will be fired for that." You said giving space for him to come in while he shrugged.

"That's not my problem." He said calmly, taking a walk around himself, before stopping and looking at you. “You don't have to be cute after what happened this morning. We both know that this pajama doesn't match anything with the naughtiness that exists inside you. ”

"What do you want, Jeon?"

"You know exactly what I want." He said in a serious tone, walking towards you and making you eyes widen and back up until your back was on the wall again. Cornered by him again. "And I'm sure you know what you want, too."

"Jungkook, what happened was a mistake." You said trying to meet those dark eyes that hours ago were looking at you while his tongue was between your legs. "I love Hoseok."

"Bullshit." He grunted, bringing his mouth close to yours, placing a hand on your neck, placing his icy fingers on your throat. That made your heart, which was already racing, beat a thousand times faster. “You know you want me, your body says that, your veins say that. So why do you try so desperately not to give in to me knowing this is what you want? Wasn't it good for you? How many times do I need to make you come for you to realize that? ”

"Jungkook please." You asked closing your eyes tightly. You didn't want to do anything else to hurt Hoseok, not after he was such a good person for you all those years. Jungkook sighed and faced your almost painful expression. He knew that what he did earlier had been wrong, he never wanted to do anything to see you suffer, but his desire for you was bigger than any other feeling or judgment.

He stepped away from you, taking a step back and putting his hands in his pocket. You opened your eyes, feeling a relief in your chest that he heard you but at the same time a discomfort between your legs because he hasn't touched you yet. You were having a war inside you at that time, your brain, your heart and your pussy were the three involved in that mess. Before you or he said anything, the doorbell rang again, making you frown and look at the door. Who could it be?

“Can I use your bathroom? I promise to leave soon after. ” He asked and you nodded watching him turn his back and enter the corridor where the bedrooms and bathroom were. You rubbed your face, still feeling your cheeks burning and turned to the door. As soon as you opened it, you were startled to see Hoseok there. Oh damn.

"Hoseok." You managed to speak without stuttering. He smiled at you and leaned in to give you a calm kiss. "What are you doing here?" You asked smiling nervously, trying not to be rude and trying not to look terrified at the same time.

"You didn't answer my calls or messages, so I came to see if everything was okay." He said entering the house. You closed the door and looked stunned towards the entrance to the corridor and mentally asked Jungkook not to leave there anytime soon. It would be very difficult to explain to your boyfriend what your former boss was doing in your apartment while you were in your pajamas.

"I'm fine, just a little tired." You said it and he frowned, seeming to realize there was something wrong there.

“Are you sure everything is okay? You look pale. ”

"Yes, I have a little bit of colic too, you know, I'm entering my period." You lied, feeling a lump in your throat at the same moment he smiled warmly at you. He grabbed your face and gave you a kiss on the forehead before resting his palm on the bottom of your belly.

“If you want, I can go to the supermarket to buy you some chocolates, yogurt and ice cream. We can watch a movie together too, what do you think? ” And before you could answer, you held your breath as you looked over Hoseok's shoulder and saw Jungkook walking into the living room, raising an eyebrow when he saw your boyfriend there.

Jung noticed your silence and your expression then turned back, seeing the man he hated most in his life, standing there, in the middle of your living room. Hoseok looked alternately between you two until he stepped away from you.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" He screamed and then looked at you, making you see the hate that would easily run from his eyes if that feeling was liquid. “What is this shit doing here? Where did he come from? From your room? ”

"I was using the bathroom, you ignorant." Jungkook responded calmly, making Hoseok even more possessed.

“That doesn't explain why the fuck you were using the bathroom at my girlfriend's house. Didn't you have time to get to your mansion? Don't you have enough bathrooms there? ”

"Are you trying to insult me by saying that I have a mansion? Why should I be offended by this? I like being a rich playboy." Jeon replied pretentiously, shoving his hands in his pockets again, moving his eyebrow teasingly. “And what I do here does not concern you. I don’t need to give explanations, I am not your girlfriend.”

Hoseok turned to you, obviously waiting for you to answer.

"He ... He came to say that ..." You had no idea what to say, just wanted to jump on Jungkook's neck and strangle him.

"Look, I would love to stay and watch the couple fight, but I need to go." Jungkook said sarcastically, walking towards the door. “Miss Backs, don't forget our appointment tomorrow. You need to be at 11 pm at the airport. Don't forget to take the report about the company I asked for. This may be your chance to show your potential as my secretary. Do not waste this second chance that I am giving you. Have a good night." And he smiled opening the door and leaving, leaving you totally amazed. He was even good at lying.

"You returned to work for this junk?" Hoseok's voice made you come out of the trance and look at him.

“Yeah. He called me saying that he needed to talk to me, said that tomorrow he has an important meeting and that he still hasn't got a secretary to replace me, so he asked me to accompany him. But it's just this time. Even though he is an egocentric asshole, he paid my salary for two years, I couldn't let him down. ” You lied.

"And why didn't you say that before?"

"Well ... You freaked out and started screaming, it made me nervous." You shrugged and lowered your head. Soon he was hugging you and kissing the top of your head, apologizing that he had screamed, saying he was jealous and promising not to do that anymore.

(...)

The next morning, you woke up with your cell phone ringing. You answered the call without even knowing who it was.

"Yeah?"

"Wow, how sexy is your sleepy voice."

You opened your eyes at once when you recognized that voice. Looking to the side, you saw that Hoseok was at your side, sleeping peacefully.

"Jeon, what do you want?" You asked getting out of bed, leaving the room and closing the door behind you.

"What do you mean by that? Did you forget our appointment? ” You stopped walking, trying to remember what he was talking about.

“Wait, are you talking about the trip? Were you serious about this? ”

"When did you see me joking about something?"

Shit.

"Jungkook, I can not go, I did not make any report. And Hoseok ... ”

“Forget the report and your stupid boyfriend. Just pack your bags with enough clothes for a week. My driver will pick you up in an hour. ”

And so he hung up. You stood for 10 minutes standing in the hall, looking static at your phone, wishing to break it in Jungkook's head. But it was too late to regret it, you went back to your room and walked towards the closet picking up your biggest suitcase and putting it on the floor, not having the patience to fold your clothes and throw them inside.

"Babe, you okay?" Hoseok's voice caught your attention. You looked at the bed and he was lying on his side, his face swollen with sleep and his eyes half closed.

"Yes. I'm just late. Jeon's driver will stop by and pick me up in 50 minutes and I haven't even finished my bag. ” You said it and he looked down at you to your suitcase, totally messed up. He laughed and stood up walking over to you and giving you a tight hug.

"You're not at all excited to go, are you?" You denied it.

"I just thought that after leaving that company, my life would be easier, but it seems that it got worse." You returned the hug, placing your face on his chest.

“I understand, dear. But after this trip, you won't have to look at that idiot's face anymore. ” And so he gave you a peck. "Go get ready, I'll finish your suitcase."

"Thank you Hoseok, you are the best." You smiled at him.

"I know honey."

(…)

As soon as you checked in your suitcase, Jungkook's driver took you to the airport's VIP Lobby, where Jeon was sitting at a table, reading news on his tablet. When you sat in front of him, he took his eyes off the screen and looked at you, smiling.

"Good Morning."

"Spare me, Jungkook." You said with disdain seeing him lean back in his chair still with that irritating smile on his face. "Where are we going and what should I do?"

“We are going to Seattle. And you just need to accompany me to meetings and write down everything you think is of my interest.”

“And what is in your interest? Harass your ex secretaries? Blackmail them to do what you want?”

"First, I didn't harass you, you wanted me to eat you out." He said loud and clear, making you look around and say thank you for having just you two in that place. “Second, I didn't blackmail you. I only used the lie that I told your boyfriend so he wouldn't know that earlier yesterday I had my tongue in your pussy and that was the reason I was at you house late at night. ”

"You suck."

"Yeah, but you still like me."

You leaned back in your chair, looking out of the Lobby window that overlooked the entire airport. Sometimes you would be grateful that you didn't have to stay in those lines when you were traveling on business with Jungkook, that was one of the good points about working for him. You then found yourself staring at him all concentrated. No one in their right mind would deny how handsome and sexy he was. You remembered the day before, the chills you felt with his kiss, the heavy lust that invaded your body as soon as he touched you between the legs, the feeling of having the best orgasm of your life and that made you feel both guilty about having those thoughts and excited about wanting to do that again. You let out a frustrated growl and put your hands on your face, drawing Jeon's attention, who didn't need to look at you for more than a few seconds to understand why you were like that. He laughed and went back to reading the news.

(…)

When you got on the plane, you and Jungkook were taken to First Class as usual, sitting in armchairs that stood side by side. Jungkook knew since you started working for him that you were terrified of flying and that is why you always got seats that were very close to each other, because he always was there calming you when you freaked out or panicked because of some turbulence.

This time would be no different.

Jungkook was wearing headphones, watching an interview that was on television when a turbulence started and the first thing he did was to turn to the side and check if your seat belt was buckled. He saw the panic on your face as you squinted and pressed your hands to your knees. He removed the headphones and took one of your hands.

"It's okay, it's just turbulence, we've been through this before." He told you that refused to open your eyes and look at him, but nodded. But that was by far the worst turbulence you had faced, as even the bags started to fall, making Jungkook lean over you and hug you, preventing any of the hand bags being thrown side to side, from hitting and hurt you.

"Shit, I don't want to die." You whimpered and he laughed relaxed.

"You are not going to die, silly."

"How can you possibly know that?" You practically screamed, opening your eyes and looking at him. "This is all your fault, if you had left me alone, I wouldn't be going through this."

“And miss the chance to see you all vulnerable in my arms? Never." He said smiling in a funny way. He was having fun with that. “But seriously, we’ve been there. It was going to be okay. If something happens, I'll let you kick my balls. ”

"You are only saying this because you know that if something happens, we will be dead and I will not be able to kick your balls."

"Why, ghosts move things, why couldn't you kick me in the balls after death?" And that made you laugh out loud. Soon after the turbulence passed and you looked at him laughing as he gave you an 'I was right' look.

"You got away with it this time, Jeon."

When you got off the plane, there was a driver waiting for you who picked up your bags, put them in the car and then took you to the hotel where you were going to stay for the week. You and Jungkook stayed on the same floor, one room in front of the other.

As soon as you entered your room, you went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. It was already dark in Seattle and you were so tired that you just wanted to sleep.

The next day, at 9 in the morning, you met Jungkook in the hallway and so you went down to have coffee before getting ready for a business lunch that he would have in that same hotel with some of his new partners. When you entered the restaurant, Jungkook waved to the table were the six men, without exception, looked you up and down, from your high heels to your hair tied in a ponytail.

"Gentlemen." Jeon greeted them. “This is my secretary, (Y/N) Backs. She will accompany me throughout the trip. ” You smiled and greeted everyone even though you were disgusted by two of them who held your hand for too long and looked at you with perverted looks. Jungkook pulled a chair for you next to him and you sat down so they could talk.

"So (Y/N)." One of the men, you didn't remember his name, spoke as soon as dessert started to be served, making you look at him. He was a lot older than Jungkook, had gray hair, green eyes and reminded you of one of your pedophile teachers you had during high school. “You haven't said a word since you sat down. I'm sure Jungkook didn't choose you just because you had this pretty and inviting face. Why don't you tell us about yourself?”

"I don't have much to say about myself." You responded politely, then thanking the waiter who had placed a plate of chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream in front of you. It was your favorite, and Jungkook knew it, so he always asked for this dessert every time you had a business dinner or lunch with him.

“Ah, but I bet you have a lot to say about you. What do you think about doing in the future? I'm sure you don't want to work for that brat for the rest of your life. ” He laughed being accompanied by the other men at the table, even Jungkook laughed sarcastically thinking how stupid that guy was.

"I don't think to much in the future, I am satisfied with my job at Jeon’s Enterprise." You said sympathetically, even though you started to feel uncomfortable with the way he looked at you. Jungkook laughed pleased with your answer even though he knew that technically you didn't work for him anymore.

“Well, if you ever change your mind, I'm a partner in a modeling company, I'm sure you would be very welcome if you did a test. You’re wearing a lot of clothes, but I think you would look good in something smaller. ”

"Hardin, don't you think you're exaggerating?” A man who was Jeon's age said beside him, that was Taehyung. He had brown hair and the eyes with the same color. He competed with Jungkook in the first place of the most beautiful man in the world according to your list that only contained their names. You had already participated in other meetings in which he was present and he was a nice guy, always in a good mood and had an excellent persuasion ability. No wonder he was one of Jungkook's best friends.

"I'm just complimenting her, it's not like she doesn't get compliments every day while walking around in these clothes." You felt your stomach churn when he said 'these clothes', as if the clothes you were wearing were ordinary or something. And even if  it were, you were free to wear whatever clothes you wanted and he or any other man didn’t had the right to express an opinion or make abusive and sexual comments against you. “Do you have a boyfriend, (Y/N)? If so, I'm sure he must be very upset with you going out like this. ”

"Yes, I have a boyfriend and no, he is not upset about the clothes I wear, as he doesn’t have to give an opinion on what I wear, I am of age and I decide what I wear or not." You hit back as calmly as possible. “And I will not answer any more of your questions. The purpose of this lunch is to talk about Mister Jeon's business, not my personal life. And please, when addressing me, call me Backs, I didn't give you the intimacy to call me by my first name. ”

"Wow, shes got fire." He said laughing, looking at the others sitting at the table who didn't dare open their mouth to say a word. You had your eyes on your dessert, not realizing that Jungkook had a vein popping out of his forehead, as he clenchedhis jaw and looked out of the restaurant window, taking a deep breath with every word that came out of Hardin's mouth, wanting to jump at every second that table and crush his skull. "Tell me, Backs, do you got fire in the bed too?"

You looked at him with disgust as he gave a wry smile in your direction, and you wanted to throw up everything you had eaten in the past three days.

“You are old enough to be her grandfather, Hardin. Control yourself and stop acting like an old pervert. I'm serious." Taehyung said in a warning tone and you looked at him with thanks in the eyes, only then realizing the position that Jungkook was in. He was now staring at Hardin, his elbows propped up on the table, his fingers intertwined, his chin over his fingers, his shoulders taut and his jaw clenched. That was not a good sign.

"Grandfather I don't know, but I can be her Daddy if she wants to …"

You only had time to look at him and in the next second, a glass hit his face and shattered making him scream. You stood up terrified, already turning to Jungkook to ask what he was doing and you saw him jumping over the table, knocking over everything  on top of it and throwing himself at Hardin, both falling on the floor. You covered your mouth with both hands, totally surprised and horrified by what you were seeing. Jungkook punched the older man in the face, blood spraying everywhere. Hardin tried to use his arms to defend himself, but Jeon was stronger than he looked and managed to hold his arms with one hand while using the other to punch him. While the other partners walked away, some of the guests who were having lunch looked at the scene terrified and the waiters entered the confusion to settle the fight.

"Jeon, that's enough." Taehyung grabbed Jungkook's arms and pulled him back while the waiters dragged Hardin, whose face was soaked with blood, away from the table. You finally came out of the trance and ran towards Jungkook who was struggling to break free from Taehyung and move forward on the man again.

"Never open your mouth again to make comments like that about (Y/N), do you understand, you bastard?" He screamed totally blind with hate.

"Jungkook, stop." You asked pushing him back, and Taehyung pulling him back too, towards the elevator and pushing him inside, pressing the button for the door to close. When you saw that he was going to get out of the elevator, you ducked in front of him and pushed him hard back, making him hit his back against the wall behind him. "Are you crazy?"

"I wasn't going to let him keep talking about you like that. I have to go back there and pull out his tongue so he learns not to make vulgar comments about my woman." You wouldn't deny that it made your legs shake.

"I am not yours, Jungkook." You said it and he laughed scornfully, taking his eyes off you. "Look, I would be the first to beat him up, believe me, but we were in the middle of a restaurant, with a lot of people around. Are you aware of the scandal that this can become? If the news gets around, saying that the CEO of Jeon’s Enterprise beat up one of his partners in a restaurant, your advertising team will have a lot of work to defend you and mitigate the impact that this can have on your business. ”

"Fuck the business, (Y/N)." He said looking at you angry. “Nobody is going to talk about you like that in front of me. Nobody." You sighed and let your shoulders fall. He had done that to defend you, it was stupid, but still he had done it. Maybe he really liked you. “And even if you insist on saying that you are not mine, knowing deep down that you are, I will defend you.” You sighed and put your hand on his face, certainly taking him by surprise since he widened his eyes slightly. You could have sworn you felt an electric current in your body.

"Thank you."

He just nodded.

When you reached your floor, you went towards his room. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands soiled with Hardin's blood and you sat at the desk taking your cell phone out of your bag and calling the company responsible for taking care of his image.

“Hi Emma, this is Backs. I need you to keep an eye on social media for the next 72 hours and block any kind of news, information, video or testimony that contains Jeon's name. ” You said as soon as the team leader answered and greeted you. "There was an accident, a disagreement between Jungkook and one of the company's partners at the hotel restaurant where we are staying in Seattle and things got out of hand, like, really out of control.” Jungkook  left the bathroom drying his hands on a white towel. He had rolled up the sleeves of the white dress shirt he was wearing and had also taken off his tie, and he was extremely sexy, as always. “Yes, I’m working for him again, you know, he can’t survive without me.” And so he took his eyes off his hands and looked in your direction, curious as you looked at him with a comical look. “Okay, keep me posted. See you later."

"You finally came to your senses and realized that you belong with me?" He asked when you hung up the phone.

“Don’t flatter yourself. You are a disaster without me. ” And he laughed, shaking his head, after all it was true.

You heard a soft knock on the door. Jungkook looked at it suspiciously, walked over and put his hand on the handle, but only opened it after looking through the peephole and seeing who it was.

"Are you crazy?" Taehyung came in like a hurricane into the room. Jeon rolled his eyes and closed the door. "Are you aware that …"

“Yes, Taehyung. (Y/N) has already scolded me for my behavior and warned me of the consequences I can face, but I don't regret anything. ” And so he sat on the bed. "You heard the disgusting things he was saying."

“Yes, but you could have tried to beat him up somewhere that didn't have a lot of witnesses, like in the hotel parking lot. At least that way it would give me less work. ”

"I called the team that takes care of his image, they will block anything that is related to his name in the next 72 hours. This should give us time to think of a way to make Hardin not report him to the media." You said and Taehyung nodded putting his hands on his hips.

“I talked to the hotel manager and the owner. He's coming here and I'm going to talk to him in person too, but he allowed the security camera images to be erased for a good amount of money, nothing we can't afford. The others are talking to the guests who saw it all, trying to convince them that the fight had been no big deal, even though Hardin left by ambulance, almost with a blind eye.” He said in a scolding tone, but instead of feeling guilty or remorseful, Jungkook laughed pleased with what he had done.

"If you hadn't stopped me, I would have blinded both of his eyes." You rolled your eyes and shook your head in denial while Taehyung looked at him in astonishment.

"Okay, let me put it this way, you threw a glass in the middle of that guy's face and punched him until he almost broke the bones of his skull. I’ll let the lawyers in alert, because you can be charged with attempted murder, Jungkook.  Did you understand the seriousness of this now?” Taehyung ended the sentence almost screaming, visibly upset by his friend's sense of sarcasm out of time. Jeon just shrugged, as if he didn't care.

"I want him out." Jeon said and both you and Taehyung looked at him confused.

“Out of what?”

"I want him out of the elite, off the list of partners, I want him to cut off any connection he has with my company, I want him thousands of miles away from (Y/N)."

Taehyung was speechless for the first time that night, then looked at you who just shook your head. He took a deep breath, ready to freak out, but he managed to control himself, looked at Jungkook and said calmly.

“And how do you want me to do that? You know how he is, he won't give in so easily. Especially knowing that the reason you want him out is (Y/N).” Then he looked at you. "No offense."

"Not taken."

“I don't know, buy his shares, threaten him, I don't care. But I want him out and barred at any social event I'm on the guest list, including Friday's party. ”

"Jungkook, this is stupid." You said it and he looked angry at you.

"What, are you defending him now?"

"I'm not defending him, Jungkook. But look at the situation, I know that your partners who are here today know the reason for the fight, Hardin was verbally harassing your secretary, but the rest of the world doesn't know. And if he speaks only his side and shows the patched face to the reporters accusing you, he may end up gaining a lot of visibility with this.”

"Listen to someone at least once in your life, Jeon. She is right." Taehyung said. “We can get him out of society but we need a more elaborate plan, show evidence for other people to understand why you want him to leave.”

"And how nice of you to have me, because I have a plan that can work." You said again making the two of them look at you who smiled in a treacherous way. “Get a copy of the security images before deleting them. Talk to him about selling his shares, but let him go to the party in Friday. ”

“This is my time to ask. Are you crazy? ” Jungkook asked. "I will kill him."

"No, you won't. You will trust me. We are going to wind the rope and he will hang himself."

"Okay, I'll check the situation out. I'll send you the news." Taehyung agreed. If there was one thing he had discovered since you started working with Jeon, it was that you were very smart and always managed everything.

“I'm going to my room. See you at dinner? ” You asked getting up and taking your bag, walking to the door. Jungkook just nodded and didn't say a word. You had to put your plan into action. You know that men like Hardin acted mechanically, always had the same attitudes and followed almost like a stupid script. It wouldn't be any different this time.

(…)

After dinner, you and Jungkook ended up going to the roof of the hotel where  was a leisure area with a swimming pool, whirlpool, a bar for the guests to serve themselves and a beautiful landscape on the four sides of the great beautiful Seattle at night. Jungkook, as always, had his eyes on the screen of his cell phone while you sat on the edge of the pool with a Martini in hand, feeling the cool night breeze.

"Having fun?" He asked seeing you silent just sipping your drink. You looked over your shoulder and gave him a smile.

“Yes.”

"You know you can have this life forever, don't you?" He asked placing his cell phone on top of the lounge chair next to the one he was sitting on. "I can give you this life if you want."

"I don’t." You said it almost automatically, leaving him speechless. "Look, Jeon, I'm not going to lie. I like expensive things, I like expensive trips, beautiful landscapes, but I like to achieve these things with my effort, I don't want to win any of that from anyone. I'm on a business trip, that's part of my job, that’s why I’m here with you."

"Isn't it because I blackmailed you?" He asked sarcastically and you laughed.

"Yeah, that's one of the reasons, too."

"And what are the other reasons?" He asked getting up and walking towards her. "Maybe because you like me and wanted to spend more time alone with me?"

“Jeon…”

"We are alone, dear." He said sitting next to you, placing a hand on your cheek, moving your face and making you look at him. "No one will know. Under the mat, remember?"

“If I give in now, I will no longer be able to hold on. If I give in, it will not be just a mistake, but proof that …”

“Proof that you like me, that you want me too. Please. Just give me a kiss. A kiss and I'll leave you alone for the rest of the trip, I promise.”

"I’ll do that, only if you leave me alone for the rest of my life, Jeon." He chuckled and brought his mouth to your ear, brushing his lips against her lobule.

"I can't take this long." And he kissed your ear, making you roll your eyes with the sensation that arose again between your legs. "I'll leave you alone for the rest of the trip, so you can make up your mind. And when you do, I'll be waiting for you." And so he lowered the kisses to your neck, making you close your eyes and sigh with the delicious chill that his lips on your skin were causing. "What do you say, huh?"

"No, Jeon." You said moving away from him, dragging yourself away. He sighed and rubbed his face. "I can’t."

"When are you going to realize that you're going to be happier with me than with that asshole?" He asked getting up angrily. "And what's the difference between you having sex with me now? You already cheated on him."

"You can’t be serious." You said getting up and taking your shoe.

"Oh, I'm being very serious." He said sarcastically, making you roll your eyes. "But it’s okay, I'll wait to see how long you can deny the sexual tension that exists between us."

"I'm not denying anything, Jungkook. I just don't want to do this while I'm still with him. I don't want to cheat on him anymore, so I’m not gonna have sex with you while I’m still being his girlfriend.” So you turned around and headed for the elevator, it was time to go to bed.

Jungkook sat down again and his head bubbled with questions and theories that made no sense to him. None of that made sense, why were you still dating an idiot dance teacher instead of being with him, heir and owner of several companies around the country?

Maybe that was why he liked you so much, the fact that you didn't pay attention to him, even when he offered you the world. But even if it was the way he liked it, he wouldn't be content to just try to seduce you and achieve nothing. He wanted you and he would have you, one way or another.

He looked at his cell phone, taking no more than a few seconds to decide what to do. As soon as he took it in hand, Jungkook called Taehyung.

"Jeon!" The sleepy voice said on the other end of the line.

"I need you to get something for me."

(…)

When Friday came, Taehyung had warned you that Hardin was not at all happy with the fact that Jeon wanted him out of society and that he would definitely attend the gala that they were going to that night. He also said that Hardin was freaked out and that you could expect a scandal and in a way, that was exactly what you wanted.

When night came, Jungkook was waiting for you in the hall so you could get the limo that would take you to the party in the biggest mansion in the city. And when you left the room wearing a red dress, he almost fell to his knees in front of you, you were so beautiful.

"So?"

“Sorry but I have no words to say how beautiful you look. Wow." He said almost breathlessly, as if he had run a marathon. You laughed, finding it cute. "We better go or we will never leave this hotel." And so he pointed towards the elevator. As soon as you stepped inside, you could feel the tension between the two of you coming back. His scent making him so inviting, and once again the memories of his face between your legs made your body shiver and you imagined jumping over him kissing him, messing up his hair, leaving him naked, getting kneel for him, letting him fuck you in every possible position. And it made you feel bad and horny at the same time.

You closed your eyes and squeezed them, delighting in that image, and involuntarily bit your lips and squeezed your thigh with one hand. Jungkook glanced at you for a moment before turning his body and facing that scene. Once again he knew very well what was the reason for you being like that.

He reached out, touching your chin, making you open your eyes and face him.

"I know what you're thinking." He whispered in a husky, totally seductive voice that made your legs tremble. "And I know you think it's wrong." He brought your face close to his, making you numb with that smell. “But it won't be wrong forever, babe. We will be able to do all things that your pretty mind imagine sooner than you think. Maybe, later. Maybe tonight. ” And the same moment when the elevator doors opened.

He then took your hand, smiled and gently pulled you out of the elevator, guiding you out of the hotel where the car was waiting.

In the arrival, he was the first to go out and receive a shower of flashes. He waved at the cameras and then turned back, reaching out to help you out of the car. So he linked his arm with yours and went up the stairs that led to the entrance to the Mansion.

Many people wondered who the girl next to Jeon Jungkook was, because he was not used to having escorts, and you knew it could end up giving you a big headache, but as soon as everyone knew you were just the secretary everything would be okay.

You spent a good part of the party greeting Jungkook's acquaintances, and the strange thing was that he always introduced you by your name and not as his secretary, and you always ended up having to correct him. You drank champagne and by an irony of fate, you ended up on the dance floor dancing a slow and romantic song.

It wasn't bad for a rich party. You thought. The songs could be more lively, but you knew that the people who were there, had come to the party to talk business and not to dance and have fun.

"Jeon." Taehyung approached to greet them. "You’re splendid, (Y/N). Boss, I got what you wanted." He said. You looked at them both, confusedly, not understanding what Kim was talking about. What had Jungkook asked him for? It should be something important because the happiness on Jungkook's face was obvious.

"Okay. (Y/N), excuse me for a moment, I ..." He started to speak but was interrupted by his friend who was serious when looking behind you.

"Trouble in sight." Taehyung said and so you looked back, seeing Hardin coming towards you like an angry dog. He had several bandages all over his face and one eye was badly hurt. Jeon's punches should have been quite strong. Jungkook immediately became tense. He pulled on your arm, making you stay behind him and Taehyung, as a human barrier for you.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" He shouted, drawing the attention of several guests around him. “What makes you think you can get me out of the corporation? Huh you little shit? ”

“I am the owner of the company, stays who I want to stay, leaves who I want to leave. And I think you better control your tone of voice, I broke your face once, I can do it again. ” He said calmly but from the way his shoulders were, you knew that he was boiling inside.

It was time to put your plan into practice.

You looked around for the waiter Emma sent, Garry. He was one of the private investigators at your disposal. When you found him, he was not far from where you were. He carried a tray and as soon as his eyes fell on you, he knew what to do. Taking advantage of the distraction of the guests who were looking curiously towards Jungkook and Hardin, Gary placed the tray on a table and took out a cell phone from his pocket, pointing discreetly in the direction of the discussion and recording everything.

"Do you really think I'm going to give up my shares just because you asked?" And so your attention returned to the two.

“No, I think you are going to give up and sell your shares because although you look stupid, you are not. I mean, sometimes you seem to have neurons. ” Jungkook's comment seems to have triggered even more hate on Hardin who took steps towards him, pointing his finger towards his face while Jeon stood still, not intimidated.

“Look, you son of a bitch. Either you get that stupid idea out of your head, or I'm going to end your life. ” He snarled and Jungkook snorted.

"To end my life, you would have to live long years, which we know will not happen since you are old enough to go to a nursing home and die there." He said in a voice flooded with sarcasm. “You're lucky I didn't file a complaint against you at the police station for verbally harassing (Y/N) yesterday. So I will warn you again, control your tone of voice, you are not talking to your mother. ”

"So this is all because of this little bitch?" Hardin asked and you automatically grabbed Jungkook's arm holding him when you saw that he was going to punch the older man. Hardin's eyes fell on you and he laughed scornfully. "That pussy must have gold, baby."

"Shut up." Jeon growled, visibly altered, giving you a great difficulty to hold him in place.

"How professional, Mr. Jeon Jungkook." He shouted, laughing soon after. "Do you want to end a partnership that started years ago when your father was still in the presidency of the corporation, just because I told you some truths about your bitch secretary? How fucking dumb."

"Hardin." Taehyung said loudly, making the old man look at him. “I suggest that you accept the offer I made and get the hell out of here. You don't need such scandal in your curriculum, don't be stupid. "

"Oh, I get it." Hardin said with that malicious smile that made your stomach churn days ago. "You are fucking this slut too, so you want to defend her either." Jungkook made such a strong move with the arm you held, that if you had a little less strength, you would have flown over Hardin with Jeon's punch.

"Leave, Hardin Jones. I won't say that again."

“Oh c’mon. she shouldn't be offended, after all that's why she was dressing like a bitch, right? With that skirt glued to her body. To receive compliments. Just like now, dressed as a stripper. ” And when you saw it, your hand had gone to meet Hardin's face, the noise echoed throughout the room along with the noises that people made with their mouths, totally surprised. He was stunned for a minute, perhaps not imagining that you would have the courage to do something. Meanwhile, Jungkook relaxed his shoulders and enjoyed the scene smiling.

"Shut the fuck up, you asshole. The clothes that me or any woman wears daily for both work and leisure do not say anything about any of us and you men have no fucking right to criticize, defame, mock or harass us. So I think you better accept the offer that Kim Taehyung made to you and sell your shares, or all the companies in this country and the other international ones that have a direct or indirect connection with Jeon's Enterprise will receive a report describing your abusive behavior. I will also send a copy of video with audio from yesterday's lunch, and of this discussion today for each one of them. And I'm sure none of them will want to know your name or have a connection with a shit like you. ”

And finally you took another breath taking a few steps back and knocking your back on Jungkook's chest who put a hand on your waist, looking at Hardin with a smug smile, proud of you.

Gary stopped beside you, catching Hardin's astonished face, which only then realized he was being recorded.

“Your choice, Mister Hardin Jones.” Jeon said politely not hiding his satisfaction.

“Stop by the office tomorrow to sign the papers. Security guards will accompany you to the exit. ” Taehyung said and so two security guards guided him to the exit, but not before he glare towards the three of you.

The people around you started to applaud in amazement at your speech against Hardin and that made you extremely shy. So you walked away from the crowd a bit to talk to Gary, while Jungkook followed Taehyung to the other side of the great hall.

Gary would send the recording directly to Emma so she could keep it together with the files and evidence doc that you both had set against Hardin last night. You were happy that everything had worked out, so you took a glass of champagne and sat at one of the tables, waiting for Jungkook to come back from wherever he went.

Just over half an hour later, you were still waiting for Jeon, but you were talking to some of the guests who seemed to be interested in you after putting that man in his place. When you felt your cell phone vibrating inside your small bag, you excused yourself and went up the stairs to the second floor of the mansion where there wasn’t too much noise and took the cell phone. It was Hoseok who was calling. With everything that was going on, you hadn't even realized that you hadn't called him once.

"Hi love." You said smiling, with a voice full of affection.

"How could you cheat on me with that bastard?" Hoseok's voice with pure hatred said on the other end of the line and your stomach sank just as your heart.

"What are you talking about?" You asked trying not to show the desperation you were feeling at that moment, pressing the bag between your fingers.

“You know exactly what I'm talking about. I never thought you would be able to do something like that to me, (Y/N). What did I do wrong? I wasn’t a good companion for you? I wasn't a good boyfriend, so you decided that you were going to fuck Jungkook? ” He screamed and you could feel like you were punched in the face.

“Hoseok, no. That's not it. You are a wonderful boyfriend. Who told you that? ” You said not being able to control your body and starting to shake violently and walk from side to side, totally unprepared to have that conversation with him.

"Who do you think?" He asked in a poisonous voice and you lost your breath. How this could be happening. Your eyes filled with water and you were about to start sniffling too. "It looks like he decided he doesn't want to share you with me anymore."

And so the call went dead, he had hung up. You didn't know how long you had been standing there, standing with your legs shaking and the tears falling from your eyes. You only realized how serious the situation was when one of the guests looking for the bathroom saw you, and asked if everything was okay.

No. The answer was no.

And there was nothing you could do, not being in Seattle.

You didn't bother to dry your face or touch up the smudged makeup before running down the stairs on top of your heels. You needed to get out of there. And you couldn't meet Jungkook, or you wouldn't be responsible for your actions. How could he have done that to you? How could he have done this to Hoseok? Did he hate him that much? So many questions to mask the one question that really mattered: How could you do this to your boyfriend?

You didn't have time to regret it at the moment. You had to get back to New York as soon as possible and talk to Hoseok, try to fix the shit you did. You went through the great hall like a rocket and when you were approaching the door, a hand grabbed your arm forcing you to stop and look back, already knowing who it was.

"What are you ..." He started to speak, but you were quick to interrupt and pull your arm, getting rid of his hand.

"You had no right to say anything to Hoseok."

He didn't seem surprised by you speech.

"Oh, he was faster than I imagined."

"What the fuck, Jungkook." You said angrily, frowning and clenching your hands.

“I just did what I had to do. Now you don't have to choose between him and me. You can stay with me without remorse." He said with a smile, and that only made your anger increase even more. You just couldn’t believe in his words. “I thought it would help.”

“Oh, you thought… You called my boyfriend and told him that we had sex, Jungkook." You said it a little louder than you should, controlling yourself  to not scream and cause another scandal that night. “How dumb and evil do you have to be to do something like this? Do you realize how much it hurt me? Damn, are you aware of how much it hurt Hoseok?”

“In this stage of the game you should already know that I don’t care about him." He said coldly.

"You don't care about anyone. You only think about yourself, Jungkook. What I did was wrong? yes, and I won't try to make excuses for my mistakes, but it was me who should have told him. I would explain, I would apologize, I would do it in a way that didn't hurt him so much, Jungkook. I would take care of that, but you had to stick your nose where you shouldn't and make things worse as you always do.” And you turned your back again to leave, but he again held you, stepping in front of you and not letting you move on.

"Hey, hey, wait. Where are you going?"

"To the hotel, I'm going to get my things and take the first flight back to New York, throw myself at Hoseok's feet and beg him to forgive me." Leaving him speechless, you dodged his bodies, leaving him paralyzed in the middle of the exit while running down the stairs, dismissing the reporters and crossing the street where you waved for a taxi and then you were far away.

"What happened?" Taehyung, who had watched the scene from a distance, approached Jungkook who was beginning to regret what he had done.

"I think I hurt (Y/N)."

"Do you think so? You called her boyfriend and said that she was cheating on him with you. Of course she would be hurt. Are you stupid?" Taehyung asked totally without patience.

He had to do something, he couldn't let you go like that. He left the party, heading for the limo that was waiting a few meters away. When he got into the car, the driver jumped in surprise, but as soon as he saw Jungkook's expression, he composed himself.

"Go to the hotel as quickly as possible."

all rights reserved © katebacks | 2018/2020 — no reposting and/or modifying of any form on any medium is allowed. no translations allowed.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

The Fallen Fireflies (Favored Ones, Part 15.)

Series description: Many things were surely fucked up in the year 2038, but no-one ever told anyone how all of it went down. What happened before a group of people left for Seattle to handle personal matters? Why did one girl refuse to leave all of it be? And why there were so many dead in the end?

Part summary: Every year, there is a horde of infected coming through the areas near the Jackson settlement. And just like every year, Tommy Miller is about to handle the situatiion. 

A/N: If’d play the YouTube playlist, you will notice a really strong shift in the tones. We’re not in the honeymoon phase anymore, babies.

Warning: Infected, Tommy being a brother-in-law you wish for and our favorite golf player appearing for the first time. 

Word count: 4.6 K

Tagging:   @nemodoren @xxgoldenhour @missdictatorme​​ @peakymarvels​​ @davnwillcome​ @pickleriiick​ @jodiereedus22​ @gladiosamicitias​ @tamkashi​ @eternallyvenus​ @avengerssstuff​ @fangirl-inthe-us​ @avery-miller​ @mikah-writes​ @mad-hatter-98​ @sadiaafrin99​ @flavorishy

Series master list: H E R E

Joel Miller’s playlist for the bonfire occasions: H E R E

Youtube playlists: JACKSON DAYS | SEATTLE DAYS

The spring of 2038, the day of the incident:

Joel kept you awake until almost four a.m., but you were more than okay with it, especially when he moaned your name into the crook of your neck while having you tangled all over himself with you having your fingers entwined with his.

But that was why you were so grumpy when something woke you up in the morning. It was roughly six o'clock, the sky was still dark and cloudy. But it woke you up nonetheless since Joel was still in a deep coma at the time, snoring into the pillow, having his arm lazily thrown over your belly.

When you realized someone's knocking on the house's door, you lazily got up and went to answer it - after putting in Joel's briefs and the shirt he wore yesterday. The air outside was cold and it hit you as soon as you opened up. It was Tommy, looking away.

"Hey, Joel, there's this thing I want to talk to you about... Oh, shit." - Only the last sentence belonged to you. He rose his eyebrows and watched you. Your hair was a mess, your eyes were sleepy and according to your clothes, it wasn't too hard to figure out what was the last activity you and Joel were doing. - "Is he here?" - Tommy got out with serious trouble, almost choking on those words.

"He's sleeping. He went to bed God knows when after talking to Ellie. Wanna come in, have a coffee, and tell me what's going on? Or it's a private matter?" - You asked politely, stepping aside so he could come in. Tommy smiled at you, nervously stepping inside, taking his jacket off.

"Coffee always sounds good. Won't he be angry with me after you'll touch his stash?" - Joel’s brother asked with a quiet laugh, his joking persona was slowly coming back. With a smirk, you turned your head at Tommy when you lightened up the fire under the kettle. - "I know my ways with him, Tommy. He will be angry a bit, but trust me, he'll calm down rather quickly." - You said confidently, preparing a herb tea for yourself.

"You two were a hell of a surprise yesterday, I tell you that, girl. I still can't quite believe that you two can be a thing" - Tommy said quietly, shifting onto a more serious tone. You were a young girl, at least a lot younger than his brother, and Joel was his family - it was natural for Tommy to be curious about what was happening between the two of you. Not in detail, of course, but it could be expected that many people will have a lot of questions. He didn't want either of you seeing hurt when the things wouldn't work out as you anticipated.

"I'm not believing it after a few months of it happening, so, don't worry. You just need to process all of it, it comes with time." - Was you tired-sounding answer, yawning, and stretching your back in the process. That made Tommy lean his elbow into the back of his chair, smiling unbelievably.

"A few months? From that he’d told me, I thought this is a few weeks old, not even that. My brother still has it." - That comment made you turn away at the man sitting at the table. Tommy chuckled, accepting the mug from you. Oh, the coffee was smelling good. It was like a dream coming true.

"He still has what? Something I missed?" - You smiled back, sitting to the table as well to drink your morning tea without having to rush somewhere.

"The manly charm comin’ out of him. Before the outbreak, he was this thirty-something-year-old man with the hot Texas accent and he had a daughter of whom he was takin’ care of. That made chicks goin’ for him like crazy, but, he never asked one to dance with him." - Tommy sighed when reminiscing about the old times. - "I think he's takin’ it seriously with you, so have patience with that ol’ jackass, will you, girl? He won't admit it, but he’d hurt back anyone who would dare to hurt you. He's the... Protector, when he loves someone."

"Yeah, I saw that getting out of hand a lot when he tried to help Ellie. But seems they're slowly finding the way back to each other, which makes me happy." - You admitted back, having Tommy smile. He was Ellie’s uncle just as he was Joel’s younger brother. He knew that Ellie was immune too. He knew Fireflies were after her back in the day. And to see their small family far apart after they took refuge in Jackson was devastating for Tommy. Especially when that was the reason why Joel became a lonely old man... Until a few months back, as you told.

"How's he doin’? He all good?" - Tommy asked, wondering how it came that he didn't hear the door. Joel was one of the most paranoid people he knew - which came hand in hand with being a light sleeper. Your eyes shot wide for a second, but you couldn't tell him you've been fucking until not even whole two hours ago.

"He had some nightmares, so today, he's staying in bed no matter what happens." - You told Tommy in a firm voice, making him understand that not even his ass will get Joel out of the bed that day. Yet the younger Miller bit how bottom lip, making you realized that something has fucked up.

"Well, there are some infected we saw in the norths perimeter and I need someone to go there with me, Y/N. I would very much need Joel by my side if you won't mind." - Tommy told you with a serious face. He was sorry to bring that family idyll to the ground for that moment, but that was just how it was. He couldn't go there on his own.

"Well, would I be enough?" - You asked seriously. - "Listen, I don't have the best feeling about sending him off when he’d be tired and stuff. He's one tough guy and I know that, but two hours of sleep are a bitch. I'm not bad at this either, I got much better since last summer. Joel taught me how to shoot from bow and gun, remember?" - You asked, standing up. Joel wasn't going and that was the end of discussion. But you could go with Tommy, you could do just as much as Joel would. Yeah, it was probably a good idea, since you seemed pretty decent at the moment. You slept a good few hours more than your old man.

"So that's where this started? Jesus, that's... Last September. Wow." - Tommy wondered, drinking the rest of the coffee quickly so you'd have a chance to make something with yourself before you'd venture out behind the gates. The only thing he got as a response to his remark was a grin you hid into your palm. - "See you at the gates in thirty, then." - He patted your shoulder, put his jacket on, and left the house.

You were quite quick with taking some clothes on, making your hair, and preparing things for your backpack, like your knife, quiver with arrows and the hunting bow, and your polo automatic gun in the last place. As a talisman, you put on Joel’s blue shirt, but you pulled the lower hem into your trousers, buttoning it up under your chin. When you were leaving, you put your stuff next to the bed, nuzzling to his back after that.

Joel softly hummed when your palms smoothed his chest and when he got a kiss on the cheek. - "What's happenin’? How much is it?" - He asked, catching your palm to hold you in place.

"Its early, big guy, I just wanted to nuzzle you before I leave." - You whispered back, smiling at the sight of half-asleep Joel. The last comment wasn't making too much sense, so he furrowed at that.

"Where you're goin’?" - He whispered, looking at the clock on the nightstand. Jesus, he wasn't sleeping for too long and he knew he will fall asleep as soon as you leave.

"A patrol with Tommy. Some infected were reported on the north, so well be taking a look at what's that about." - That made him open up his eyes, looking at you. - "Oh no, don't you dare. You went to sleep at four, you're not fucking going anywhere, Miller. You taught me how to defend myself and that's what I'm planning on doing, are we clear?" - You told him with an unbelievable. It was beautiful to know that all he wants is to keep you safe. And that was what you were about to do.  In the end, he sighed and nodded. It wasn't making him happy at all, but you were tight. He wasn't physically ready for a patrol at the moment.

"Just be safe and come back, ’kay?" - Joel hummed, kissing your knuckles before leaning his forehead to yours for a small moment. You nodded with a gentle smile, pulling the blanket up again. - "And you should talk to Ellie when she gets back from the patrol, yeah? You’ll tell me how that went. Love you." - You whispered, kissing his forehead before you got up from the bed, preparing your stuff from the ground, and left.

He didn't tell you back, but you saw that smile creeping up to his sleepy face after hearing those words. Before exiting the house, you picked up your gloves and your beanie from the drawer next to the main door and pulled it on. Why was this March so damn cold? You had no idea, but it was snowing again and as far as it looked, it wasn't going anywhere in the nearest few hours.

Your walk through the sleepy Jackson was quite refreshing, making you fully wake up. You loved Jackson very much and especially when everyone was still asleep. As Tommy promised, he was already waiting at the gates for you, getting you some sandwiches.

"Who’s that from?" - You asked with a surprised face. When you inhaled the smell of them, your stomach churned hungrily. These were with meat from Seth, the old ballsack. And it was smelling delicious.

"It's a little sorry for yesterday from that old drunk. Joel was meant to get them, yet I think you can use Seth's apology too." - Tommy answered with a smirk, leading you to the stables so you could pick your horses. These weren't exactly anyone's, they belonged to Jackson, but you had your horse for more than three years at that point.

"How much times did Seth already apologized, Tommy? This wasn't a one-night occasion and it'll come again. We both know it, especially with Ellie being as stubborn as she is." - You smiled at Sadie, petting her neck gently. She was your beloved girl, saving your ass many times. Tommy was leading his horse next to him just like you did.

"That's some truth right ’ere, Y/N. No wonder Joel likes you when you're so smart and he's a dumbass." - He said, leading the horse to the opening gates. Your eyes rolled on their own.

"If I will have to listen to these jokes whole fucking day, you better shut up, Miller." - You grinned before swinging on Sadie’s back, petting her neck again. Tommy’s laugh was the last thing you heard when you were leaving from Jackson, seconds before putting on the hunting mode.

The journey to the location itself wasn't enjoyable at all - the snow kept on falling and there was a blizzard incoming, making you sped up to get to the location. You left the horses far away from the place where the sightings were reported. - "Another year, another horde, what can I say?" - Tommy asked you when you got off the horseback to travel to the town on your own feet. You nodded at that, being extremely aware of every single thing happening around you at the time.

For some time, when you entered the town, it seemed abandoned. There was only the wind howling through the empty houses and rampaged store buildings, the snow was covering almost everything. It took you almost half an hour to encounter the first infected. Both of you crouched, looking at the being from a rooftop.

"There's another one." - Tommy pointed to make you turn around. Without waiting for too long, you took out an arrow and held your breath, going directly for the runner’s head. Tommy, in the meanwhile, picked up a glass bottle and prepared to throw it in the opposite direction. You had to see how many of them are there to think about the tactic and about what you'll do, to even think if you'll be able to do it on your own. You nodded at Tommy, letting out a long breath while releasing the string from your finger, looking at the arrow hit the bullseye.

Not even seconds after that, Tommy threw the bottle into a wall, luring more of them out while you still crouched there so these fucks won't see you. There wasn't that many of them, yet it could be because they divided into groups to roam around the town. You sat there for a while, letting Tommy take this group with his sniping rifle before continuing your journey through the city.

"You're much more enjoyable than my brother." - Tommy said all of a sudden when you stopped in a barricaded shop to look for the last remnants of supplies. At that statement, you chuckled, shaking your head. - "Is that so?"

"Yeah, he's making fun of me all the time, you know? Gets repetitive after some time. Got somethin’ there?" - He asked when he saw you bowing down to pick up something. It was a piece of cloth, yet you could use it as a bandage once you'll laundry it and use disinfection on it.

"Would love to hear how someone can make fun of Tommy the Man." - You chuckled back, walking back to Tommy. There wasn't much in the stores anymore, it was a miracle to have some good find in there. - "Kinda tempting to see, dude."

"Hold your horses with the flirtation, girl. Joel would kill me." - Tommy grinned back, stepping outside again. When the cold air hit your face, you had to close your eyes. There were these small pieces of ice in the air, hitting you at a full cadence. The blizzard was getting closer and closer while the temper was going lower and lower. - "Fuck, this is bad. We either need to take some cover or move our asses to get this place clean."  

With that, you were going through the town, shooting on a sight. You and Tommy were quite a good team - while you could kill the fucks silently, Tommy was clever enough to divert their attention somehow. Sometimes you were quiet, sometimes you lost your nerve and just pulled the damned gun out. But you knew that Tommy has your back just as he knew you had his the whole time.

That was until you entered the old warehouse complex. All of a sudden, hordes of infected were coming to you from every direction, making the fence fall. Tommy pushed you behind his back, pulling out the rifle to search for the cause of it. And it was a woman infer the fence, trying to crawl through, certainly being fucked without you. So after you nodded at Tommy, you ran to her to help her on her feet while he started to liquidate some of the infected.

"You good?" - You asked her, looking at her pulling her gun as well. She nodded at you, looking at the horde. - "Tommy, there's too many of them, we need to get inside and get the fuck out of here. We can clear this place out later, come on!" - You yelled at your almost a brother-in-law, already running between the walls of the warehouse, trying to search for some door.

He yelled at you that you're right and turned on his heels to follow you, having that mysterious woman in his back. It was to kill or to be killed, so you took many turns before seeing some door. Both you and Tommy tried to break in while the woman was shooting into the group coming after you. It took you almost four attempts before the door flew open and you pulled the woman in as Tommy closed the door and made sure its barricaded enough.

"Here, did somethin’ happened to you?" - The man got on back his knees, looking at you. You shook your head and laid down with your eyes closed to catch a breath. He was worried that you might have hit something, but you seemed to be all right. The woman was looking at both of you with an unfriendly look. Well, it could be friendly, you didn't know her in the end.

"And who the hell are you, hm?" - Tommy walked to her, offering her a palm to pick her up. She stood up and wiped the sweat off her face.

"Thanks for all of that, by the way. My name’s Abby. And you two are...?" - The woman looked at both of you, leaning her palms to her thighs, trying to replenish at least a bit of energy. It didn't matter who she was or what was she doing there - you were in this together and it was a matter of life and death.

"I'm Tommy and this is Y/N, we’re from a city nearby." - He answered briefly, helping you stand up. - "It doesn't matter now. All that matters is that we have to get away from here. We have horses not too far from ’ere, but I'm scared that there's a lot of ’em now. They must've heard the gunshots." - With that, you nodded, getting up on your knees again. While Tommy and Abby were reloading their guns, you picked up a pipe from the ground. It looked solid enough for you.

"You sure you won't be using a gun?" - Abby asked when you played around with the piece of metal, searching for some way out of the building. You gave her an unsure look, letting Tommy talk for you. - "Trust me, this one is more usable in hand-to-hand combat with a pipe rather than with a gun. She cant aim up close for shit."

"Well, how about me kicking your ass, brother-in-law?" - "Isn't too early for callin’ me that?" - The man pointed out, having you nodding that indeed, he has a point. That was when you found the door and where it began to be painfully obvious, that infected were in there way before you. Abby caught the doors handle, looking at the two of you. Tommy took in a deep breath, shaking the nervosity off, telling her to open up.

You wouldn't be spotted as fast if the infected, some runners and a few clickers to be specific, were calm. But after hearing all there gunshots and groups of the horde moving in the city, it was obvious that there was some prey inside the building. And even the quietest creaking of the door made them turn around almost immediately.

"That crate, get it under the window, we'll cover your back." - Abby nodded at you, seeing you already pulling out the knife. There was a group of fifteen infected, which wasn't that much, yet it wasn't a little as well. While the tall woman started firing with the face of a true soldier, the first sounds of cold metal rang through the room as you swung the pipe into the first infected’s face. It made him fall to the ground, having Abby immediately pinning it to the ground while she put a bullet inside its head.

She was a survivor as much as you and Tommy were, yet you were kind of spoiled by the luxury of having a working town. If she was alone, maybe you could offer her to move in, or at least replenish your supplies before she goes on with her journey. In the middle of Tommy moving the crate, you were grateful that you picked up the pipe because you wouldn't be able to defend a single fuck without it. - "Move it! We’re kinda getting cornered here!" - A loud yell came out of your lips, looking at the next group of infected making their way to you.

"I'm doin’ my best, kiddo. Hold on for a minute!" - An answer came out of the corner of the room, Tommy nodding at you. You sent Abby a quick look - but she motioned you to stay away, lighting something up. In the next second, the woman threw something into the center of the group, making their bodies fly around in shreds. That was just fucking cool, yet you fully realized that another infected had to hear the fucking boom.

"Come on, girls, suit yourself! Take Abby to the horses!" - The man shouted, firing the first bullet from his snipe rifle. You pulled the woman by her arm, taking her to the crate. She, without waiting, boosted you and you helped her up and she then helped Tommy get there as well. As soon as you jumped out of the window, you realized how bad the weather got. You couldn't see a meter in front of you. The air was so cold it made your nose numb and your lips completely dry. But you couldn't wait, so you as soon as you saw Abby follow you around, you ran in the direction where you thought your horses were.

You ran for your life. That evening, you haven't stopped for a single second. As soon as you saw Sadie, you jumped on her back, helping Abby there as well. - "We won't make it Jackson in this, Tommy!"

"There's this house where I and my friends reside, for now, I'll point out the way, yeah?" - Abby asked. Well, it wasn't the greatest idea since it was just a group of strangers, but what could you do in the middle of that fucking blizzard? And you had to move since even if the infected lost your trail for a second, you knew they will find it soon enough again. That was why you listened to the stranger’s direction while you made Sadie ran like a fucking racing horse.

You never felt safer than when you have seen the gates of the house and people with guns standing behind it. As soon as you both rode in, the strange people have closed the gate, setting the infected on fire. You finally had some time to rest, so you took a deep breath before you jumped off of the horseback.

There was a revelation for a second, undeniably, but soon, you noticed something. These people were soldiers, a survivor group, maybe someone religious or something like that. They were looking dangerous, without a doubt. And groups of soldiers don't travel around the country just for the sights, no, they were most likely looking for someone. You tried to send Tommy some kind of signal when you gave Sadie to some short-haired woman, yet he was already chatting with some Hispanic man. And when Abby took her jacket off, your eyes widened. She was fucking buffed. She would strangle someone like you in a matter of seconds.

"Hey, how you're feeling? Any kind of shock?" - The short-haired woman caught up with you. She was almost too gentle to travel with the rest, so, she had some specialization. Drugs, maybe?

"Yea, I'm fine. It was just a close call. Your friend should be glad we found her." - You answered the woman, having her nodding in answer. That was when you arrived in the houses living room - the fire was burning and the french door were half-covered in the snow. The weather was terrible out there.

At that moment, you noticed everyone looking at the both of you while Abby argued with another man from the group. - "What the fuck were you thinking? Did you see the weather?" - The man gritted through his teeth. Something was going off in the room. The atmosphere was shifting somehow and you couldn't tell what was making you more nervous - the atmosphere or the stares of all the people?

"I tried to look for that fucker, Owen. I wanted to find him, but the infected had surprised me before I even got to the power plant." - She sighed back, massaging the back of her neck. - "But these two told me they're from the nearby town, right?"

"Yea, I'm Tommy and this is Y/N. Were from Jackson down there. When the weather settles down, you should come with us and replenish your supplies before takin’ off." - Your brother-in-law leaned his elbow into the counter, smiling at Abby. But she stood in front of you. With your breath held in, you sent a quick look to Tommy to finally tell him that you're not feeling comfortable in there. You'd rather get lost on Sadie in the woods, having to find your way back to Jackson on your own.

"Do you know a man named Joel Miller by any chance?" - Abby looked you deep in your eyes. Tommy’s jaws were more appering as obvious when he stood up and tried not to clench them too much. You didn't even tremble, your eyes weren't looking all around the place, you weren't heavy breathing. Her stare was meant to scare you, but two could play this little psychology game.

"No, never heard of that man." - And that answer would be almost believable if your breath wouldn't hitch in the end. At that, Abby smiled and a smile slowly turned into loud laughter. Jesus, you saved a fucking psychopath, didn't you? Without shadowing a thing, her elbow hugged your throat tightly, starting to choke you when she picked you off the ground. Your palms were trying to make her hand go away, you were kicking all around, trying to free yourself. But it didn't make Abby do shit.

The man tried to free you, yet as soon as he stepped forward, two other soldiers caught his arms, making him kneel on the wooden floor. If he’d move an inch, he'd most likely get both his shoulders luxated. You could barely breathe, yet you couldn't be afraid about passing out just yet. Abby wouldn't let you get outta that so easily.

"I don't know if do you know him, but your little friend does." - Abby told Tommy and pointed her head at a chair nearby. The woman practically threw you on it, then kneeled in front of your brother-in-law to look him in the eyes. - "And you'll watch her scream until you'll tell me where he is. Or until he comes for you. And if he doesn't and if you won't tell me... Hey, we don't wanna kill you. But we will."

You two were in deep fucking shit. 

[artificialqueens]

Blue Neighborhood Series: EASE (Jan-centric) - Mac

AN: Again, nothing I do would ever come to completion without Meggie being my rock and betaing this monstrosity. I love her and I hope yall like this one!

Summary: The students of Eastview Highschool are still reeling from a post by their school drama account. Jan is too busy with auditioning for the school musical to pay much mind to a bit of teenage angst. Jan is too busy in general. But she’s not overworked. She’s totally fine. She can handle it. She has everything under control.

6:00am: Wake Up

Jan’s eyes slowly adjusted themselves to the morning light just beginning to peek through her curtains. She didn’t groan, didn’t add five minutes to her alarm. She rolled up and out of bed.

She pulled the sheet taut where she had messed it up while sleeping and tucked it back under her mattress, doing the same to the blanket. She fluffed her pillows and set them upright, and finally placed her little stuffed bunny in the center of the pillows.

She knelt down to pull the drawers from under her bed. She selected a random combination of shorts and t-shirt before queuing up her morning run playlist. She noted a text from Gigi and about eleven other people.

G: no idea.

G: u sure it’s one of our girls?

J: Looks like our uniform.

7:00am: Shower

Jan didn’t fuss too much in the shower, rinsing herself down quickly, but making sure to apply her favorite body soap generously along her legs and arms. It smelled like peaches and always reminded her of summertime.

She brushed her teeth in the shower too. When she mentioned offhandedly to Jackie one day the older girl had looked grossed out. Jan didn’t mind.

It was more efficient that way.

7:20am: Breakfast

Jan kissed her mother on the cheek as thanks for another delicious meal.

She fussed after Jan, telling her to be safe on her way to school and to text her when practice was over. Jan assured her mother that she would and skipped out the door, bookbag in tow, without another word.

7:30am: Walk to School

Jackie had taken to walking in the morning with Crystal and her weird art friends recently, so it was just Gigi and Brita that met Jan at her door.

Jan greeted them with a warm smile and made it about halfway down her porch steps before Brita launched into her many theories about who on the cheer team was sleeping with a basketball player.

The picture had made the rounds last night. Jan was up doing an online lab for her college chemistry course when she got the notification.

Yes, she had her notifications on for the school drama account. Sue her, but she liked to be in the know about things.

She immediately recognized their cheer outfit and hadn’t hesitated before contacting every single girl on the team to inquire about who was making out with Eastview High’s All Star basketball player.

No one on the team fessed up.

Jan wasn’t concerned per se. It was their prerogative to make out with whoever, but if this was about to be a scandal, she’d rather be ahead of it.

“When I first saw it I thought it might be you, J,” Brita said, turning to shoot a look at Jan.

“Oh my god, Brittany!” Jan shook her head as if it were the wildest idea she’d ever heard.

“I’m just sayin’.” Brita held her hands up in surrender. “My first thought was good for her. She needs some stress relief.”

“I don’t need that kind of relief.” Jan chuckled.

Brita just hummed skeptically.

Jan turned to look at Gigi who was being awfully quiet that morning, “Who do you think it was, Gigi?”

“I have no idea.” Gigi just shrugged.

Jan wasn’t convinced. Gigi was staring at her shoes like they were the most interesting shoes on the planet. She clearly knew something she wasn’t telling them. Jan made a mental note to prod her for details later.

“Well, the tall one was definitely Hall. That’s for sure,” Brita continued rambling.

“Why do you say that?” Gigi asked innocently.

Now Jan was sure Gigi knew something. Everyone with two eyes and half a brain cell knew the person not in the cheer uniform was Hall. Jaida was the damn captain of the team. The most lauded person in their highschool. Everyone knew what she looked like.

Brita looked at Gigi confusedly. “Besides the obvious, it’s her truck in the picture.”

“It could have just been someone else on her car,” Gigi spoke quietly, clearly losing her nerve.

“I doubt it. Did you see how tall the other person was?” Brita shook her head. “No, it’s definitely Hall.”

The conversation lulled a bit as the three made their way into the school building, through the metal detectors, and headed down the hallway to their lockers. All conveniently located next to each other.

When Gigi had asked how that had happened Jan had just shrugged and said that being student body president had its advantages.

As they sifted through their lockers for their books, Jan mused. “But which one of our girls would be sleeping with Hall?”

Brita thought a moment before holding up a hand to count off her fingers. “Well, start with which ones are gay. Jackie, Gigi-”

Jan cut her off. “You don’t have to be gay to wanna sleep with Hall.”

“Okay, true.” Brita giggled.

“For straight girls, you both sure talk about how hot Jaida is a lot.” Gigi gave them both pointed looks, before continuing. “Besides, half the squad is gay that doesn’t help.”

Brita and Jan agreed and gave up theorizing for now as they waltzed into homeroom with their arms linked.

7:40am Homeroom/Announcements

Jan shot their homeroom teacher a smile before excusing herself to the front office.

While being the student body president did have its perks, it also had its responsibilities. Namely, the announcements every morning.

Jan greeted the ladies at the front desk and spent the better part of ten minutes cooing at pictures and videos of their young children that they always insisted on showing her. Jan never minded. It always made them smile and it made her smile, so it was a win-win.

Principal Visage came by a few moments later. She gave Jan a warm smile and ran her through the announcements for the day, handing over the slip of paper with the same information.

Jan took it eagerly and attempted to strike up a conversation with her principal. But Mrs. Visage wasn’t one for small talk and excused herself shortly after the homeroom bell rang. She gave Jan an encouraging smile, though, before disappearing into her office.

Jan readied herself by the microphone and smiled as a couple of students filed into the office to make announcements for their various clubs.

Bryce showed up at 8:00 on the dot and Jan chastised him for giving her a heart attack. Her VP slash boyfriend of two years just smiled. “You know I’d never leave you hangin’.”

Jan didn’t have time to retort before the bell rang. She took a deep inhale and exhale before pressing down on the intercom and putting on her cheeriest voice.

“Good Wednesday morning Eastview High! I hope you guys are ready for the football game this Friday. Get excited! Go Eagles!” Jan paused to look over at the students in line. “We’ve got quite a few student announcements this morning so I’ll let them take it away.”

Jan moved back and allowed each of the line of students access to the mic to plug their after school activity or club. It was still early in the semester so there were quite a few. Jan herself made plugs for both the cheerleading and soccer teams.

“Now to your VP for the most important announcement, lunch.”

Jan turned to Bryce who smiled goofily. “That was a Jan-mazing joke there!”

Jan could hear groans from the nearby homerooms. She just smiled. Early on in their relationship, Bryce had somehow decided that making puns out of Jan’s name was peak comedy. Although, he had a weird grasp on what counted as a pun. She had tried to explain to him that the joke wasn’t funny unless the word already had an ‘an’ in it. He still didn’t seem to get it.

He even got her a necklace for the anniversary that said Janmate. Like soulmate… but… her name.

She took it all in stride though and forced a laugh anyway.

“For lunch we’ve got chicken and pizza-”

Jan spaced out for a bit as Bryce went on about the menu for today. He cracked a few jokes and the ladies at the front desk practically swooned. Jan rolled her eyes fondly. Bryce had that effect on people.

She closed out the announcements with her encouraging quote of the day and a reminder to get tickets to Friday’s game.

8:15 - 12:20: Classes

Jan was taking all AP classes this semester which meant she had to work ten times harder to keep up with everyone else. Yes, she was still in line for salutatorian, and yes, she could probably get As in every class without lifting a finger, and yes, she was taking college courses in addition to her current course load, and no, she wasn’t overworked.

12:25: Lunch

Jan threw her pile of books in her locker with little regard to how they tumbled against each other at the bottom. She grabbed her purse and Gigi’s hand and the two made their way down to the lunchroom.

Jan waited until they were in line, trays in hand, boxed in by students on either side of them before finally asking, “So what aren’t you telling me?”

Gigi tensed immediately and tried valiantly to keep eye contact with Jan, “What are you talking about?”

Jan grabbed a yogurt from the fridge and turned back to face Gigi. “You know who’s in the picture don’t you?”

“No,” Gigi answered too quickly.

Jan wasn’t convinced. “Well, you know something.”

Gigi grabbed two slices of pizza while shaking her head, “I really don’t, J. Honest.”

They made their way up to the register and Jan smiled warmly at the lady running the machine. She gave her a glare in response. Jan paid for her lunch and waited patiently for Gigi to do the same.

Jan knew she wasn’t going to get anything more out of Gigi. They had grown up together and Jan knew better by now than to keep pushing.

But a little part of her did wonder. “Who are you covering for?”

“No one. I’m not covering for anyone!” Gigi exclaimed.

“I know, I’m teasing.” Jan gave a giggle.

Gigi huffed but allowed a small smile to grace her face.

The two sat down at their usual table. Bryce, Brita, and Brita’s boyfriend Bruno all came and joined them a bit later.

Lunch passed in a blurr. Jan half-listened to Bryce talk about the football team and their upcoming game. The rest of her time was spent worrying her bottom lip between her teeth and mentally running through her lines for her audition tomorrow.

1:25-3:30: Classes

The afternoon always seemed to pass slower to Jan. She noticed three times that her mind had drifted off and away from the work in front of her. She really needed to get a grip. And maybe some more sleep tonight.

4:00pm: Cheer Practice

Jan led the girls through another grueling practice.

Ten laps to start, stretching exercises, pyramid clean up, full routine until they got it perfect.

It was nowhere near perfect when six o’clock hit, but there wasn’t time to dwell on that. There wasn’t time for much of anything.

Roll up the floor mats, change for soccer practice, eat a granola bar on the way to the field.

6:10pm: Soccer Practice

Jan had been playing soccer since she was 5.

Her parents swore she came out of the womb juggling. Jan always laughed and told them that was anatomically impossible. Her father then would say she got her mother’s humor.

Practice was fairly uneventful. Tiring as hell, as usual, but it always left Jan feeling accomplished.

8:00pm: Dinner and Homework

Jan was thankful for the light load today. When the spring musical started up, she would really be stretched thin. Luckily for now she only had cheer every school day and soccer three days a week and soccer games on weekends and her college class every other day and being student body president every day and keeping her 4.0 GPA…

It was manageable. For now at least.

Jan scarfed down the leftovers her mother had set aside for her and started on her pile of work. She was usually good about keeping on top of homework, so it only took a few hours to get everything done. She checked in on her college chemistry course to make sure she had turned in her lab quiz. She had.

When Jan looked up it was already 11pm. She sighed and knew her parents and brother were most likely asleep by now. She would have to practice her audition song outside.

Jan hopped in the shower and rinsed herself off, hoping the steam would help her vocal chords and the grime coming off her like a sheet would help her feel better.

She tiptoed down the stairs and out her back door. She walked to the edge of her backyard and perched herself up on the fence, trying to get distance away from the houses so she didn’t bother anyone.

She shivered as the cool air bit at her exposed ankles.

She started humming softly, reaccustoming her voice to its own music. She took her time, running through warmups softly until she felt secure enough. She let herself get a bit louder and heard their neighbor Rock shut her window pointedly.

Jan sighed. She needed to practice.

She kept going, letting the notes extend past her mouth and fill the night air around her. She counted off in her head and hit each beat perfectly on cue with the music forever spinning in her mind.

A window opened from a nearby house, but it was too dark to see who it was or where it was.

Jan kept going, getting into the chorus and letting her control slip and her voice do what it wanted to. The air around her seemed to crackle with electricity and her heart rate increased as she hit the high note and this… this was what Jan lived for.

The crickets, an appreciative audience continued their chirping as Jan finished the last lyrics.

Somewhere, much closer than was comfortable came a soft clapping. It startled Jan at first.

She looked over to see none other than Jaida Essence Hall leaning over Jan’s fence to applaud her. Jan, ever the performer, gave a mock curtsey and Jaida chuckled lightly.

“Hey, Jaida,” Jan said in greeting.

“Hey, Jan.”

They didn’t do this. They didn’t talk like this. Like friends.

Not that they weren’t friends.

They had grown up together.

Although, Jan grew up with everyone in this neighborhood so that wasn’t really saying much. Although they had all grown up playing games in the middle of the street, running around in the heat slick sun and scraping their knees on solid concrete. And that meant a lot as a kid. It still sometimes meant a lot.

“How are you?” Jan asked.

Jaida’s demeanor suddenly changed and she let out a bitter laugh. “Oh you know.”

“I really don’t.”

There was a pointed pause. “No, I guess you don’t,” Jaida mused.

The silence stretched between them and the once calming air of the outdoors suddenly felt stifling.

“I’m sorry.”

Jaida looked up. “Why? You take the picture?”

“No!” Jan shook her head. “But still. I’m guessing this isn’t how you wanted things to go.”

“You’d guess correct.” Jaida sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “You gon’ ask me who it was? Has she told you yet?”

Jan bit her lip. She wasn’t going to ask, no matter how much she wanted to know. “No. And no. No one told me anything.”

“Hmm. Weird. I woulda thought you knew from the start.” Jaida seemed almost… shocked. Like she figured Jan already knew. Like she figured Jan had this dirt on her and oh, now Jan understood what this was about.

“I don’t know who it was. And even if I did, it’s none of my business.” Jan spoke firmly. “Is that why you came down here then? To make sure I wouldn’t tell?”

“No! Well yes, and no.” Jaida looked down at her feet guiltily. “I knew you weren’t the type to go spreadin gossip, but I wanted to make sure.” Jaida looked back up to meet Jan’s eyes “plus I hadn’t heard you sing since we were little.”

At Jan’s confused expression, Jaida laughed a bit, “You tellin’ me you don’t remember when we were growin’ up and you and Jackie would put on these elaborate plays and keep us all hostage til we clapped?”

“We did not keep you hostage!” Jan exclaimed.

“Roxanne nearly pissed herself one time!”

“She did not!”

A voice rang out above their heads. “Did too!”

Jaida and Jan looked up and over to see Rock leaning out her window to gaze down at them.

“Rock, what the fuck?” Jaida asked in between confused chuckles.

“Sorry, I was just listening to Jan singing and I heard my name so I thought- I just thought I’d- I’ll just go now.” Rock made a show of closing her window, but the shadow of her head was still visible through her curtains, making it clear she was still listening in.

Jan just laughed at the ludicracy of it all. She found Jaida doing the same.

It was strange. That after all this time. All the ways life had changed them, they still stood here, laughing in spite of it all.

Jan and Jaida’s eyes met and for a brief moment it felt a bit like lightning. A bit like they were supposed to be here right now. Together.

Jaida must have realized she was staring because she coughed a bit awkwardly. “Well, I should let you get back to it.”

Jan felt her stomach drop at the notion, but she nodded. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah.” Jaida smiled before turning on her heel and disappearing back into her yard. Jan found herself surprised to be missing the other girl’s presence.

She shook it off and went through her song a few more times before deciding to call it a night.

She made sure to shout a goodnight to Rock, who she was sure blushed at being caught out, but returned the sentiment nonetheless.

Jan tiptoed back up the stairs to her room and set her alarm for the morning.

7:22am: Wake Up

Jan woke up like a flash. As if her body instinctively knew something was wrong. The light filtering through her curtains was way too bright for it to be 6:00am. She looked over to her phone and her heart leapt at the time.

She bolted out of bed and threw on the outfit she had laid out the night before. She didn’t have time to do her makeup, a pre-audition ritual she always partook in. She didn’t have time at all before she heard a knock at the front door.

She raced down to see Jackie, Gigi, and Brita all looking at her concerned. She looked a mess probably. Jan tried to give them a reassuring smile and said she’d be right down and she just had to grab her bag and her sheet music.

She closed the door lightly and sprinted up the stairs, grabbing the aforementioned items and giving herself one last onceover in the mirror.

Jan knew this wasn’t the end of the world. In reality, she had only missed her morning run and shower, which was fine. Everything was fine. It didn’t feel like her world was suddenly crashing down around her.

7:35am: Walk to School

The group walked in relative silence. At least for Jan’s part. She was running through her lines over and over and over in her head, while Jackie encouraged her softly and Brita and Gigi talked in hushed tones all the way to school.

Jan hardly even registered the fact that Jackie was walking with them today. When she asked about it, the older girl just shook her head and said not to worry about it. Jan agreed to drop it, if only for the fact that the nerves in her stomach were making it hard to talk.

Jan bid Brita and Gigi goodbye at the auditorium doors. Jackie hung back, clearly sensing that something was wrong.

“Are you okay?” she asked, genuine concern creeping into her voice.

Jan nodded. “Yeah, I just woke up late and it freaked me out.”

Jackie nodded but seemed unconvinced. “Well, you got this.” She gave Jan’s hands a squeeze. “Don’t worry.”

Jan gave her a small smile and nodded.

She did. She totally had this.

She walked into the auditorium, greeted the director and the stage manager and got all the way up on stage before she realized that she actually didn’t have this. That maybe for the first time in her life, Jan really wasn’t going to do well at this.

It was a stupid thought. A silly voice that she could usually shut out.

But now it was the only thing she could hear.

She couldn’t hear the lines being read out to her or the start of her music. Something inside her had snapped and she couldn’t shake the feeling of dread creeping up on her.

As if to further rub salt in the wound, right as she was about to hit the high note, her voice cracked.

Jan wasn’t delusional.

She had known this balancing act would come to an end eventually. She was doing too much. Everyone said so.

But she couldn’t seem to stop herself either. She just had a lot of love in her heart. And she needed to show it somehow.

Or maybe she just wanted to be good at something. So she had tried a bit of everything and when she found that she wasn’t truly exceptional at any one thing she just kept doing everything. Maybe she had been hoping that no one would realize how lost she truly was if she just did everything.

Because Jan felt lost.

And it hit her like a truck everytime she stopped moving. So she hadn’t stopped moving.

She had known this balancing act would come to an end eventually. She just didn’t think everything would come to an end now.

Jan ran out of the auditorium and into someone. She opened her mouth to apologize but a familiar voice cut her off before she was able.

“Hey, I was just gonna come wish you luck-” Jaida took in Jan’s frazzled appearance. “Are you okay?”

Jan looked up at her, tears blurring her vision that much more. “I-I-” Jan could hardly speak, let alone explain all that was wrong with her at that moment.

“What do you need?” Jaida said seriously.

“I don’t know.” Jan’s voice sounded strange in her own head and she couldn’t stop gasping for air. She hardly noticed the crowd that was quickly forming around them.

“Okay, come here, people are starin’.” Jaida grabbed Jan’s hand and led her out the nearest doors and out to the back parking lot.

Jan was still breathing heavily and doing her best to articulate the fact that she still had to go do the announcements.

“Nuh-uh, baby, you gonna stay right here till you can breathe again,” Jaida asserted.

Jan tried to insist that she had things to do, places to be. Jaida just sat her down against the cold brick wall of their high school and assured her that everything was going to be fine. Jan went to argue, but the sight of familiar red curls coupled with unfamiliar dark ones caught her eye.

Bryce, Jan’s boyfriend of two years, came stumbling out from under the bleachers with a petite brunette following close behind him.

Jan recognized her immediately. Dahlia.

Bryce had this giddy smile on his face and looked to all the world like he had just had the time of his life. Dahlia was just laughing at him and clutching the strap of her book bag like it was a lifeline. The pair didn’t see Jan and Jaida at first.

If Jan had any more pride left in her; she’d feel remorseful for yelling at him.

But she didn’t.

She stood up and started screaming at the top of her lungs about how much of a scumbag he was. About how he never really cared about her and was only ever in their relationship for the VP position. It made perfect sense to Jan why he would cheat. And with Dahlia no less. A girl she looked nothing like.

Jaida had to steer her away from the pair of lovebirds or Jan was going to do something really stupid.

“Hey, hey, it’s not worth it.” Jaida tried to speak calmly.

Jan wasn’t having it. She pulled out her phone with every intention of recording her cheating boyfriend and his side chick when she saw a notification from the school’s drama account.

She had been tagged in a picture.

Before she could think too much about it, Jan clicked on the post. She felt dread seeping into her stomach. The picture was of her and Jaida standing awfully close outside the auditorium. Jan’s heart nearly gave out at the caption.

A player on and off the court.

Before Jan could process what the hell that meant her phone lit up with notifications.

She managed to single out Brita’s name from the bunch and opened their conversation. Jan could feel hot tears pricking the edges of her eyes, which only served to blur her phone screen more.

B: y didn’t u tell us u were the one making out with Hall?

That was the final straw.

Jan broke down.

She broke down. At 7:58am on a Thursday morning, leaning against a dirty brick wall with a girl she hadn’t spoken to in years dabbing at her eyes with the edge of her shirt.

[kats-kradle]

I fucking beat tumblr again I’m so proud of myself anyway here’s Whumpmasinjuly Day 15: Storm

Ronon hated storms. Storms took away his sense of hearing and left him exposed to the Wraith, they meant memories of explosions and war and death and running, surviving, killing-

Another clap of thunder shook the base, causing him to jump. His swallowed thickly, grabbing his sheets and turning over. This was the largest storm Atlantis had ever experienced, but he could survive a little thunder. Lightning blinded the sky and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to brace himself for the earsplitting crash that followed. He fought the urge to hide under the covers like a child as the following bang seemed to shake all of the base. Another crash and his fellow soldiers flew into the air, blown to bits and-

He growled, flinging himself out of bed and marching into the hallway as he resigned himself wander around until the storm ended. The memories couldn’t get him as easily if he was constantly moving.

Eventually he made it to the cafeteria, but froze in the doorway, seeing someone else already sitting at a table, bent over a tablet. He briefly considered turning tail and retreating back to his bed, but the head lifted and smiled, waving him over.

“Are you kidding? With this kind of thunder?” He huffed a laugh. “I’m surprised the whole base isn’t up.” Ronon dropped into the seat opposite his friend with a small amount relief running through him at the prospect of not having to be alone. Rodney gave him a quick look that seemed to be too observing as he jumped at the next menacing explosion, but said nothing.

Shortly after, Teyla wandered in and grabbed a piece of cake from the spread of snacks that stayed out at night. She smiled warmly as she approached the table.

“I hoped I would find one of you here,” she said as she dropped into the seat next to Ronon, “I am afraid that sparring before bed makes me wake in a hunger, and eating alone can be rather lonely.” Ronon nodded, his leg beginning to jitter under the table. Eventually John marched in, looking irritable.

“Damn storm- it’s a pity I can’t shoot it,” he grumbled as he dropped himself into the last seat unceremoniously. Ronon huffed in agreement, gripping the edge of his chair in an iron grip as the thunder crashed again.

They sat together, in silence for the most part. Rodney was absorbed in his tablet, John slouched in his seat, occasionally making conversation with Teyla as she enjoyed her piece of cake. She had offered Ronon some, but his stomach was twisted in too many knots for him to even think about eating it. He had taken to playing with one of his many knives- an unfortunate nervous habit.

At any other time a gathering of the sort would have been relaxing, especially with the ambiance of the rain, if it wasn’t for the cursed crashing sound. It kept Ronon on edge, kept him tense as he tried to hide the involuntary flinches he gave with each rolling bang. He could feel his friends’ concern bleeding over, making him all the more determined to hide his reactions.

“Every time I’m about to drift off... every single time...” John made an annoyed explosion sound as he lay slumped in his seat, half asleep. Teyla laughed softly as she finished off her cake.

“It does seem to be getting louder,” she said sympathetically. The thunder bellowed above them, as if to prove Teyla correct. Ronon gripped his knife tighter and his leg bounced faster as his heart seemed to rattle from the force of thunder. Rodney looked up from his tablet again, his eyes set.

“Okay, what’s wrong?” He asked. Ronon blinked a few times before emitting a “huh?” Rodney rolled his eyes, but not unkindly.

“You’re shaking the table. You’ve been flinching at the thunder the entire time you’ve been sitting here, which,” he held up a hand to stop Ronon from protesting, “I did not mention because it didn’t seem like any of my business, and I thought it was just catching you off guard. Obviously it’s something more than that, so spit it out.” Teyla and John were watching him closely, clearly trying to act like they weren’t. Ronon glowered at Rodney for exposing him.

“I just don’t like thunder,” he muttered. John snorted, his eyes studying Ronon carefully.

“No shit, Sherlock,” he remarked, hauling himself upright in his chair. Ronon’s heart stuttered at the next scream of thunder, the explosion of the bombs as they fought a losing battle, and Melena- helping him, holding him, reaching for him as the wall-

BOOM! The next clap of thunder was louder than the others combined- at least that’s how it seemed to Ronon as he doubled over the table with a strangled gasp as his lungs seemed to deflate into themselves.

“You okay? What’s wrong?” He heard faintly from John. Ronon swallowed, his mouth dry as he stared at the wall of the cave, huddled in the corner, praying he’d make it through the storm alive, slipping as the Wraith fought him, leering in satisfaction and anticipation-

Something grabbed him and he reacted instantly, grabbing it by the throat with strained yell before it could- before-

“It’s me, it’s John.” Everything slapped back to reality at the hoarse, desperate whisper. Suddenly he was in the cafeteria, gripping John- his friend, his brother- by the throat. He dropped him like he had been burned, horror rising in him you could have killed him and he stumbled backwards as his other friends hurried to where John knelt gasping for air you hurt him you almost killed him-

Ronon tripped over the chair, landing painfully on his side at the next peal that shook the sky. He had to get the tracker out- the Wraith would be here soon- where was his knife? He reached for it in a frenzy, but someone got there first.

“Okay, we’re not gonna do that- uh have you ever heard about hockey?” Rodney asked a bit nervously. Ronon didn’t respond, his eyes getting further away with each second what did “hockey” have to do with anything didn’t they know he was dangerous- “Uh, well, it’s a sort of game- we call it a sport, and it’s pretty big in Canada. The- the point of the game is to hit a disc into a net-”

Thunder once again roared triumphantly, bringing Ronon cowering to his knees pathetically, his hands reaching up and gripping his hair in an attempt to ground himself.

“No- hey, it’s okay- don’t do that,” Rodney followed him down, his voice gentler than Ronon had ever heard. His hands were removed from where he had entangled them in his hair, and he felt too weak to resist.

“Anyway, uh, hockey. There’s two teams and each team gets six players. It’s played on ice with sticks and a disc that gets hit back and forth into nets. Got it so far?”

Ronon understood none of what Rodney was spewing at him, but nodded anyway and clung to the sound of his voice like an anchor. Rodney raised the volume of his voice whenever a clap of thunder attacked, not leaving time for the memories to take hold and drag Ronon down.

Eventually Rodney helped him up- still talking- and started leading casually, talking as though they were taking a stroll on a nice day. The destination turned out to be a room- John’s room, he registered faintly. They sat on the floor, Ronon’s leg bouncing at breakneck speed, his head down, but still hanging on to the sound of his friend’s voice.

The door opened and Teyla came in and something soft and warm was wrapped around his shoulders snugly; evidently Teyla had left to gather blankets. And pillows apparently, judging by the pillow she handed him. Despite the raging storm, Ronon could feel himself getting tired. After a while his eyes began drooping, and someone gently pushed him down into a sleeping position, adjusting his blanket over him. His eyes closed, but opened a second later as a flash of panic shot through him.

“The tracker-” he half-mumbled, desperately reaching for his back.

“It is not there anymore,” Teyla said gently, directing him back down again, “you are safe, they cannot find you.” He closed his eyes, exhaustion taking over, and let himself drift off to sleep, even as the storm yelled outside. He was safe, he was surrounded by his family. He was safe.

[soobadnoonecanstopher]

The Price of Privilege - Part 12 (A Kyungsoo Series)

Genre: Angst / Romance / Arranged Marriage / Royalty AU

Characters: Kyungsoo X You

Description: The time has come to marry the man your family has selected to take your hand. As royalty, these important matters are arranged for you, but when you meet your soon to be husband, he is nothing like you expected.

The Price of Privilege [M]: - part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8 , part 9 , part 10 , part 11, part 12 , part 13 , part 14, part 15

Prince Baekhyun led himself to his own bed. You followed only with a soft pressure against his back and the occasional shush to work against his quiet protests.

It could wait. Whatever was consuming him so entirely could be put to bed for now and be dealt with later. After some rest. After some food. After some comfort from a friend. Not everything had to be dealt with alone. Not everything had to be hopeless and never ending.

He laid on his side on the large bed and was asleep as soon as his head reached the pillow. Still, you ran a rhythmic hand over his back as his breathing evened out and he let out a few low moans before he went completely still and quiet.

The silence seeped in like a fog and you sank to the floor, leaning beside his bed and laying your head down on your arm that still touched his back.

It was still.

It was quiet.

The silence coated over your head and made your ears ache with how loud it was.

It was probably the silence that brought on the numbness, but the longer you sat there with your head down and your eyes closed, the less you felt.

The less you felt of it.

It and the guilt from it all. The ever pervasive dread in the pit of your stomach that did not let up. The pain and anguish caused by the choices you had made. The consequences of what you had done to him; his desperate and desolate cries in that dressing room. The silence was changing it and you began to feel nothing.

It didn’t hurt.

You had trouble breathing through your nose and your face was wet.

The arm that you laid on was wet.

The bed below your arm was wet.

It didn’t hurt. You felt nothing and it was absolute.

You were numb. The tears were annoying but nothing else.

They would end.

As everything did.

The friendship you had with May.

The brief love you had known from Kyungsoo.

The silence throbbed and the numbness unfolded.

Like waking up from a dream.

No matter how vivid and real the dream had felt, you were waking up now. And just as easily as you let yourself feel that dream, your reality was taking precedent. You would let it go just as easily.

It had all been a dream and it was time to wake up now. The memory of his love faded into the numbness and you let it go with the dream.

It was time to live in the real world now.

You would not hold onto that dream any longer.

—

You opened your eyes to the sunlight leaking through the tiniest opening in the curtains on the far window of this unfamiliar room. The stiff hardness below your body brought on an ache in your muscles when you moved your shoulders and you realized you were on the floor with a pillow below your head and a blanket over your body.

The memory of the evening before returned as you blinked away the bright sunlight and sat up in the empty bedroom.

Baekhyun was nowhere to be found, but you did notice a yellow post-it note stuck to a cell phone that sat on the bedside table.

‘I got this for you. -B,’ was scribbled on the note by what you assumed was Baekhyun’s hand and you picked up the cell phone to unlock it.

The lock screen wallpaper on the phone was a picture of you, passed out on the floor of his bedroom with your mouth open and an arm laid over your eyes.

You had a waiting text message from a number saved under the name ‘Pretty Baekhee.’

‘Servants came looking for you early saw you on camera. Wedding stuff. Isn’t your family coming today? Sorry if i was weird last night.’

You felt lighter today. Despite the sore back from the hard floor and the headache from not getting nearly enough sleep, it would have to do.

The dreams were fading.

You wanted to ask him about last night. You wanted to ask him about what he said about his mom. You’d typed out the question three times, each time deleting it before giving up.  

‘Are you okay, Baekhyun?’

Your message sat there for a moment before you saw a few dots at the bottom of the screen as your message was received and you could tell that he was typing out a response.

Only the action stopped for a while, picked up again, and stopped again. You stared down at the phone for a long while as nothing happened.

Finally you felt a vibration in your palm that told you he had responded to you.

‘Yep, never better’

His reply was too short, too forced, and too flippant to be genuine. Especially with as long as you saw him typing for. He must have have had own little battle before deleting whatever he was too afraid to say. But what could you do? You couldn’t even be honest with him. Why did you deserve anything in return? You definitely couldn’t force him to talk with you. The idea of having someone to talk to felt so foreign to you, yet you yearned for it.

‘You can talk to me sometimes, if you want to. We could talk to each other. Friends talk sometimes.’

This message was not met with typing. This message was received, read, and then it sat there on your screen for ages as you looked down for any signs of life from him.

You’d given up on seeing him respond to it as you busied yourself with finding your way back to your own home so you could shower, change and get ready for the day.

He’d said that your family was due to arrive today and you recalled seeing a schedule of events before the wedding that had a royal dinner with both families and all wedding parties present.

This would be a grand event. You would have to remember to eat something before you got into your dress since you would likely be much too anxious to eat anything at the dinner.

You’d have to see him. Did you have the courage to look into his brown eyes and see all of that pain? Even worse was the thought of seeing those eyes vacant and hollow.

No matter.

It would be an ordinary day for both of you. Business as usual. Fancy restrictive clothing; hold your head up high. Accept curtsies and bows. Show deference to the influential. Eat three bites, place fork down, sip wine.

Look into his eyes. Ignore the pangs of guilt. Smile, but not too wide and don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.

Just an ordinary day.

Halfway through your food, the phone you’d hidden inside the waistband of your jeans vibrated and you excused yourself for the bathroom to read the text message from Baekhyun. The servants bowed at the waist as you walked by them. When you were passed, they simply resumed their work of readying your evening gown for tonight. As soon as you were out of the room you heard them resuming their low talking as they worked together and gossiped and giggled about something amusing. You swallowed away the envy.

‘Thank you for this. Talk tonight?’

It felt nice. The smile that reached your eyes was genuine.

Right there in that moment, hidden away in your bathroom with a house full of servants waiting to preen and pluck, truss and string you up, you made a decision for yourself.

You would talk to Baekhyun. You would trust him. You would have a friend and there was nothing in the world that could stop you from having a friend. A real one.

You had never owned your own phone before but you had watched May do it plenty of times to know that somewhere inside this keyboard was a selection of little faces.

You found them easily enough and scrolled through to find the happiest one. One with a large toothy grin and little moon eyes and you sent out your very first emoji to your friend. The happiness you felt inside of your chest made you want to type that little face many times in a row, but you stopped yourself and just sent one. You didn’t need to go crazy.

You hid the phone in the same shelf inside your walk in closet, just far enough back to be invisible to anyone who did not know where to look and you left the peace and quiet of the bathroom to get ready for the evening.

As these things go, there was an abundance of waiting before anyone required you to move.

The dress’s fabric was thick and shockingly scratchy whenever the ruffled hem tickled against your calves. Whoever picked it out obviously didn’t give a damn about the person wearing it. You recognized the thick glasses of the stylist from the dress fitting and her eyes roamed over your body in approval. She stopped at your neck. Her concerns ended there. They did not include the look in your eyes as you tried to ignore the itch in your skin when that stupid rufffle snagged on your pantyhose with every single step you took.

“This dress itches.” You said to the nearest ear to you and the servant girl looked at you for a moment; bowing her head in apology.  

“I’m so sorry, your highness. It’s sponsored for the event by the designer himself.”

“What’s the problem?” The stylist had a whiff of your annoyance as you reached down to scratch lightly over your hose, careful not to snag anything with your nails.

“I beg your pardon, Ma’am, she says it’s itchy.”

You felt like a naughty child that was acting out, but you honestly did not believe you could stand wearing this for the entire evening. The stylist looked up from the dress at last and looked into your eyes for a good five seconds before she spoke again.

“He is Her Royal Majesty's favorite designer and she has selected this piece personally for you to wear tonight. It is an unimaginable honor.”

You could feel yourself losing the battle and the steel trap in her eyes held your own for longer than most of the hired help would even dare. “Perhaps a drink would help, your highness.” At last, she dropped her eyes and you gritted your teeth and nodded your head once.

A shot of alcohol arrived on a tray and you tossed back the bitter clear liquid.

It was an ordinary day.

The dinner was beginning. Faces were blurring together with the occasional important face popping into your vision.

You were presented into a dining room, a different one than you had visited before, this one larger and more grand.

All of the faces you had grown accustomed to during your time in this place were present. Only Baekhyun smiled at you when you made eye contact and you smiled back at him. The others nodded with tired looks in their eyes and you did the same to them. You looked around carefully and slowly, knowing who’s dark brown eyes would be the final ones for you to touch when you reached your seat.

As the groom, and the most important participant of this ceremony aside from you, Prince Kyungsoo would be seated at the top of the table, near the head. Near where his father, the king, was scheduled to appear and where his current wife, Queen Hong would be seated beside.

Next to them, you would see the face of your father, who had just arrived, you heard from the maids this morning. He was bringing along his newest wife. She was younger than you and her pregnant belly would have swollen enough to make her hold in a grunt when she stood up and again when she sat down.

You wondered if at last, your father would have the son he’d always desired and you wondered if that baby boy would ever know what it felt like to have a real friend.

You’d arrived at your spot and your view of the floor showed you black shoes connected to ankles and black pants standing exactly where you expected to see him.

Just an ordinary day.

There was a touch required here. His hand — the same that you’d felt before with his rounded fingertips and electric warmth as they etched a deep cut pathway across your bare skin. The passionate touches and heavy breaths of that far away dream world that still teased you.

You had to let it go. It was gone.

He held his hand out, palm down and you did not even hesitate. You had to still be breathing, right? You’d yet to collapse onto the floor at his feet so you must be awake.  

Years of practice — you worked on muscle memory in front of this broken man with your broken heart still somehow pumping blood to every cell in your body on this very ordinary, very unremarkable day just like any other day.

The palm of his hand was moist below your fingertips and you bent at the waist and the smooth skin of the back of his hand was heated when you pressed your lips to it.

You’d meant to drop his hand quickly. It was done and you meant to let go. But he...his thumb moved with the lightest brush. Either a flinch or a mistake, he had given the smallest squeeze over your fingers. A ghost of a memory that had escaped. Remnants of the dream. It slowed you down and you looked into his eyes for a moment.

You remembered to breathe. You remembered the small smile you pushed onto your face, for the sake of the show.

He looked at your face now. The beautiful eyes of Prince Kyungsoo were holding on to yours with an unreadable and heavily guarded wall built around them.

He breathed in and out and in again and he blinked once before his head dipped and he bowed just once. It was his part.

No more would come from him until the dinner was over and he had to look at you again for the farewell.

There was a predictable flow to these things. You remained standing until your cue to sit and it came after your father entered, the King of your small nation who’s drought and famine ravaged population depended on this fortuitous union for, not their prosperity, but for their survival.

He was in a good mood. You could tell by the puff of his chest as he walked and the tight grip of a hand over his wife’s arm to steady her waddle. You looked at his hand noticing how tightly he held on, an outright protective stance it appeared and you wondered if they had been see the doctor about the sex of the baby yet. A boy would be an heir. A boy would be cherished and well loved at home. A boy wouldn’t have been sent off to an unfamiliar place and married off to whichever foreign prince would open up valuable trade routes and lower export tariffs on vanilla and coffee beans, your nation's biggest exports.

His beamed a wide smile to see you and you offered a deep bow as a greeting, mirroring many of the others who stood in this enormous dining hall.

There was a pause of breath before a loud voice announced the King and Queen’s entrance. The room responded and heads were down until the pair were well into the room and seated at the head of the table.

It was your first time seeing King Lee, Kyungsoo’s father and you had never expected the man to be so very old. You would not be surprised to learn that he had reached the triple digits, now that you were actually looking at him and you regretted not having been able to ask May anything about him before you found yourself in front of him. He was old enough to require a wheelchair which was pushed by a servant to the head of the table and he lifted a shaky hand midway to signal that the guests should be seated.

He stared ahead at the table with eyes that clouded over so much that you wondered if he was able to see through them and it became abundantly clear why you had seen none of this man since your arrival when his first words whispered over his shoulder to his Queen was a question as to why there were so many people here today.

His presence today was formality only, because Queen Hong’s voice spoke up over the sound of the senile old man’s heavy breathing and occasional coughing and soon he gave up and grew more interested in the glass of wine that was kept topped off at his place setting.

You found yourself reaching for your own wine glass with a similar fixation to keep the itch from the gown drowned under a haze of red tinted alcohol.

Halfway through dinner, the conversation shifted from mild pleasantries into rocky waters that made you put your fork down and look across the table at the profile of your father’s face as he reacted to the news that you were sure he had heard already.

A spy, from his own house, caught red handed by a member of this royal house.

“Such a shameful thing,” your father exclaimed with a slow shake of his head. “We can assure you, we were just as shocked to hear about the maid’s illegal activities as I’m sure you were. Just terribly shocked and disgusted. It’s a good thing she was caught so quickly. I don't tolerate traitors in my kingdom.”

His focus shifted to you and you felt the dryness in your mouth turn your tongue scratchy and sticky.

Beside you, Kyungsoo had been steadily sipping on his wine glass when he tipped it back further, emptying its contents into his mouth and he placed the glass back down on the table with a hard thud.

Below the table, his leg bounced up and down in a regular rhythm.

“She was certainly acting alone. I trust that mess has been cleaned up well?”

“Oh, we won't discuss such grisly details over dinner, but yes, the problem has been dealt with.”

The wine glass was being refilled and he angled himself toward the servant pouring the bottle.

“Bring me something stronger,” he said.

A servant returned with a glass and the bottle on a tray and Kyungsoo grabbed both the glass the the bottle to place in front of his full plate.

The rest of the dinner went by in a similar manner. By the end of it, you were quite literally itching to get back to your home so you could get out of this stupid dress and get away from the pervasive dark silence that sat beside you steadily drinking enough whiskey to put an entire soccer team to bed.

If you had any guts at all you might have reminded him that his wedding day was tomorrow and he had to be able to stand at that alter long enough to agree to this entire disaster with the words ‘I do.’

He couldn’t really do that if he was unconscious.

You’d been watching his face with a sort of disconnected feeling surging through you when a comment floated above your head and pulled you out of the trance.

“—too much to ask for, but it may be possible that their affections for each other run much deeper than mere familial obligations. What do you say, Prince Kyungsoo? Are the rumors true? Would you say you have fallen in love with her?”

Queen Hong was talking in that sickly sweet voice of hers and a curious crowd murmur could be heard around the large table. Kyungsoo had gone still beside you, but his fingertips still touching that damn whiskey glass.

He lifted his glass to his lips and slowly took a drink as he stared ahead at the centerpiece on the table. A large bouquet of hydrangeas in pink and off-white colors and some spots of chartreuse around the blooms. He wasn’t making any move to respond, and you wondered if he had even heard the question. Was he too drunk to reply. Did he intend on ignoring a direct question from the queen herself?

“Answer your mother, boy.” A low gasping voice called out and Kyungsoo’s eyes snapped up to where his father commanded a response from him.  He let go of the glass and rubbed quickly over his face, ridding himself of the startled expression at being called out by the old man who hadn’t spoken a single word since the start of the meal. As he brought his hand back down you caught a tremble in his fingers as he sat up straighter and fisted his hands together down in his lap. You saw pinkness form on the back of his neck and on his ears at the embarrassment.

The old man’s outburst brought a wide smile to the Queen's face and her eyebrows wagged in delight at seeing Kyungsoo squirm so much. This was clearly her idea of a fun time. She was very amused now and you were very much not.

“Yes, Your Majesty, I’m… I’ve f-fallen…” he cleared his throat and you felt a sickness surge up hot inside your stomach as a startling force of anger took over.

How dare they demand this of him. How dare they talk to him in this way, like some amusing sideshow act that they could poke and prod at with a stick whenever they pleased.

Your hands were shaking and you used it to your advantage as you reached too quickly for your wine glass and tipped just so to send the whole thing flying over your plate and spilling the red liquid down the front of this ridiculous dress you were wearing and all down your itchy, itchy legs.

“Oh, my goodness,” you called out and you were descended upon by servants who dabbed with napkins and grabbed at your wine glass and dinner plate where an uneaten filet swam in a blood red lake. “I fear I may have celebrated too much tonight.”

“Yes, perhaps you have,” Queen Hong said with a touch of disappointment in her voice and a shrug of her eyebrows. You were surprised to see them move. You’d thought for sure they had been rendered immobile by all the Botox.  “You may be excused. Kyungsoo you may escort your fiancé back to her room for the evening. I trust there will be no incidents of any kind at tomorrow’s ceremony.”

You bowed a farewell and you both exited the room together. You were hyper aware of the fire hot heat of his hand that rested over the small of your back just until you were both clear of the dining hall and then it vanished from you entirely.

You stood in a hallway and the walls spun a little bit.

You were decidedly more drunk than you had admitted to yourself and you fought it with a few hard blinks to get the walls to stand still.

There was a presence here. Kyungsoo stood with his back against the wall opposite of the one you occupied and his eyes were closed up tight as he leaned his head back against the wall. His hands were fisted into tight balls at his side and his cheeks were bright pink from the large amount of whiskey he had consumed. You were sure that he had had half a bottle at least, just at dinner alone.

After almost an entire minute, he leveled his head, and without looking at you, turned and walked away with an outstretched hand touching the wall with his fingertips as he walked.

His steps were not very steady but neither were yours. You knew this because you followed him. You were kind of unsure of where exactly you were in the palace and you figured he would probably head back to his place and you knew the way from there.

He turned a corner and there was another hallway.

Five steps into this one he stopped and spun around in a half circle with big black eyes wide on you and a hand still touching the wall to steady himself.

Would he speak?

Would he yell?

Would he cry?

His mouth opened up and no words came out, but you could see the pressure inside him making his chest, shoulders, up to his chin even vibrate with pent up tension.

But he did not speak a word. Instead he walked faster now in the opposite direction from where he going down that hallway, he walked passed you without relying on the wall this time he breezed passed you and you watched him go, giving the man some space before you resumed your following footsteps from further away.

Now you really didn’t know where you were. There was a huge wall of glass windows that overlooked one of the gardens and the night time exterior lights shone down on expertly manicured hedges and remarkable blooming flower beds.

You hoped you were at least sober enough to find this again. You quite wanted to see what it looked like during the daylight.

He walked for ages. He must have known you followed him, but made no attempts to speak with you or even look at you and eventually you recognized the large framed work of art from outside of his home.  You heard the loud slam of his front door and the pervasive silence that followed that sound.

And it did not hurt.

You felt nothing. Not even the itch from the skirt ruffle. Not even the stickiness from the red wine that had soaked into your panty hose. Somewhere far away, you thought you heard a haunting sound somewhere inside that hallway, but you spun and forced your legs to move quickly. Back towards the familiar. Back to where you called home. Back to the place where the low echo of that single scream could not touch you.

You’d had enough time to get out of the dress. You’d grabbed a change of clothes and headed toward the shower with the wet tights halfway peeled off of your legs when you heard the pounding on your front door.

It was three swift knocks.

Followed immediately by three more.

An urgency was betrayed and you pulled the comfy sweats over your still sticky legs and pulled a t shirt over your head just as you pulled the front door open.

Kyungsoo stood there and he had not changed his clothes at all. The tight necktie still in place at his neck and the crisp suit jacket buttoned up from the dinner.

To the outside observer, the man was put together.

To you… you could see all of the pieces as clear as day. He was breathing hard as if he had run over after screaming his head off inside of his locked up living room and his eyes held tight onto yours with their vice grip when you opened the door.

“Did you watch it?”

His question was cold and it hit you hard against the chest. You took a step back. Away from this.

There was nowhere to go. He took a step inside your home and you retreated again, unable to look into the blackness of his eyes for too long and keep your wits about you.

“Kyungsoo,” you said his name and it felt dirty in your mouth. You had lost your right to say that name with your traitorous tongue, but you had nothing else to call him.

His body had a tremor to it.

“Did you see? Did you watch the tape? Did you see what I did to my own mother?”

Your head was shaking back and forth, not because you were going to lie to him and pretend like you never watched it, but because he had it so wrong. What he thought, what you had thought before you watched it, none of that was shown on the tape.

You reached your hands out cautiously outstretched in his direction and his hands surged and he swatted your hands away quickly, his body still shaking and trembling with every step he took as he paced back and forth.

The door behind him clicked shut and he sneered at you now, his teeth bared as he pulled his lips into a humorless grin.

“Did you see what I am capable of? What I did to her? What I can do to you too?”

He took a step into you now, and his hands reached for you, having swatted down the comfort you attempted to issued out in vain, this time when he reached for you it wasn’t with any sort of comfort or affection in mind.

You felt his strong grip reach for your shoulders and he squeezed down hard enough to cause a surge of pain through your arms and he shook roughly, demanding with his words and his actions that you speak, that you do something, or say something, anything to explain yourself. To explain this.

“No, Kyungsoo. Stop. Please.”  

His grip tightened and you felt the tears prickling in your eyes.

“Tell me!” He screamed up close and shockingly loud and you flinched away from it when he shook you again. “Tell me you — saw it!”

You heard his voice breaking now and his words lost their stability. His anger was changing and his hands loosened their tight hold.

“Why won't you just tell me? Why won’t you just do it. Just fucking do it, tell everyone what really happened to her? Tell them I’m a monster — destroy me. They’ll execute me. They’ll kill me for this.”

The tears were falling down his face as he spoke and the whites of his eyes were bright red.

“What are you waiting for?” His eyes screwed shut hard and he released the hold on you, slipping down onto his knees, his hands followed your arms as he sank down to the floor and he let go of you completely when he covered his face with both of his hands.

“I watched it, Kyungsoo. I watched the tape.”

You’d found your voice when the painful grip of his hands let you go and he sobbed into his hands on your floor.

“Kyungsoo, there’s nothing there. It didn’t show you doing anything at all. It was nothing.” You felt a desperation in this. Like you couldn’t get the words out fast enough to convince him of the truths you had found.

“No,” he said from below his hands. “No,” he repeated. His head was shaking back and forth steadily as he denied what you said to him.

“Kyungsoo, I swear it. You can have it back. I promise you, there was nothing there.” You felt desperate to stop this — to stop this pain you felt choking you from the inside. You had trouble breathing and the tears made it hard to see, but you left him there in a heap on your living room floor and you ran to the bathroom — to the walk in closet with the hidden shelf and the spot where you kept the tape. It was still there. You gripped it in your hands and you ran back to where he sat on your floor with his hands fallen down to his sides and desolation on his wet face.

“Here,” you bent down to him, shoving the tape roughly into his hand and he looked at you in confusion before looking down at the tape and he was reeling with it.

“No, it’s not possible. I remember —I remember it happening.”

He was lifting himself, the tape in his hand as his tether to the past which he had been so certain of. The past that you were now denying had any evidence to back it up with.

“I remember the sound of it.” His focus was far away and he lifted a hand to run a circle over his ear as he spoke of the wretched memory. “I remember the sound of — the sound of her bones cracking — of her crying out in pain from it.”

The tears fell freely, dripping steadily off his chin and disappearing into the black of his suit jacket.

“—the sound of the air squeezed out of her, it happened right here, I’ve been living with it for fifteen fucking years—the sound of my mother, of my m-mother dying because I didn’t get my way and I threw a fit...” his hand beside his head pulsed his fingers open and closed as he put words to the horrors that happened in his memories.

His eyes suddenly focused again on you.

“Why did you do this to me?” His words competed with his heavy breathing and you wrapped your arms around your stomach with the painful question. Everything hurt. Everything ached. You could hardly breathe through the immense pain inside of you.

You felt all of this.

You felt like you were the one being crushed by this pain.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered and he lifted up the tape and squeezed down hard inside the palm of his hand. You heard plastic cracking.

“Why did you do this to me, if this thing was nothing. Why did you do that? I—” He gasped an inhale, “I loved you. You destroyed me, for this. For what? Nothing? For fucking nothing?”

“Kyungsoo, I’m sorry. I was trying to save May.” You were begging now. You felt the warmth of his hand as you frantically reached for it and the mention of her name stopped his breathing for a second as his face changed and screwed together in a fresh wave of pain.

“M-May,” he said below his breath and he stumbled away from where you reached for him; breaking himself free of your touch. “May.” He repeated again softly and he looked down in his hand at the pieces of the tape that sat inside of his fingers.

He retreated again and again until his back hit your closed door and his head was shaking back and forth.

“No,” he whispered and his eyes closed as he inhaled a deep chest filling breath of air and he lifted his eyes, planting them squarely on yours.

“This — This is wrong. I have to stop this. This wedding can't happen. I won’t let it happen. I don't care what happens to me, but we won’t be getting married tomorrow.”

There was a terrifying conviction inside his eyes as he spoke to you and it made you gasp out loud to see it.

It was impossible. Everything had already been arranged, and agreed upon by the governments of both countries.

They had both of your signatures and royal seals.

If either of you failed to show up, the missing party would be promptly located, dragged into the wedding hall and forced at gunpoint to state the words of agreement to the union.

This wedding was inevitable. It always had been. The only thing that could stop this wedding was something you did not dare to speak out loud, for it was something more horrifying than anything you could even imagine.

In the midst of your genuine shock at his declaration you didn’t notice the sound of your front door opening and you came into action only when you heard the loud slam of the door closing after he’d left your home.

When you opened the door back up to chase after him, he was already gone and the hallway you ran down in your desperate search showed no signs of him.

He had simply vanished, along with all of the fire and rage, ire and violence that threatened to destroy every cell inside his body and destroy you along with it.

The Price of Privilege [M]: - part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8 , part 9 , part 10 , part 11, part 12 , part 13 , part 14, part 15