#i have heard some survivors say some out of pocket shit lemme tell you

[bisexualchaosdemon]

I personally found the joke about sex toys in tsc hilarious and humanising but just a wee reminder for those who took umbrage with it: the trojans do not know about January. They have no way of knowing how raw the wound is still. As far as they are aware, they are trying to help their new friend get past a years old trauma and maybe enjoy intimacy at long last.

[zigtheeortega]

For the past six months, @pixeljazzy​ and I have been working on a playlist we felt could top last year’s, which was so well received! 

We’ve broken it up into sections by individual love interests, multiple love interests, main character, and miscellaneous, which includes side characters, general vibes, etc. Underneath each song are lyrics we believed stood out to us along with explanations as to why we chose it. Like last year, the [p] is for PJ and [j] is for Jade.

Here’s the link to the playlist on Spotify, but we’ve individually linked the songs with each explanation as well!

We sincerely hope you enjoy our 2021 RODAW Playlist! 

The Bay, Soft Glas. ft. Mulherin [j]

Leaving you alone is too hard (hard, hard) / I just never know where to start (with you)

I'm not used to leaving someone broken hearted / That might be what really makes this hard (It's hard) / I've never been with anyone this long / If I did it, I really miss you

The softness and apologetic tone of the song reminds me of Logan through and through. He’s so regretful for what he put MC through, both at the beginning when he was lying to her, and by the end when he thinks he’s ruined her life by simply being a criminal and dating her. And by leaving her he’s leaving the one person who’s loved him unconditionally and stuck with him through it all.

Call Me, Nav [j]

They taught me, "Don't forget where you came from" / I regret what I came from

Do you know how it feel to feel alone? / Bought myself a house, to feel like I ain't home / Driving by myself, ain't got nowhere to go / Are you really here for me, I don't know

I hope you mean everything that you told me / I'll try to come back to you, girl, I'm sorry / If you miss me, just call me

This song honestly reminded me of Logan’s backstory that we don’t know much of, besides the fact that he was thrust into a life of crime as a teen and as an adult he hates it. The other lyrics I added are kind of a glimpse into the future I think – wherever Logan is, whatever he’s doing, if he’s not with MC, the woman he loves, everything he accomplishes is gonna feel hollow. And despite him saying that he was leaving to protect her, I know in his heart he’d want her to find her way back to him.

Cold Case Love, Rihanna [p]

I’m torn apart and you know / What you did to me was a crime

We opened up a cold case love / And it got the best of us / And now prints, pictures, and white outlines / Are all that’s left at the scene of a crime / Of a cold case love

The first line reminded me of how MC probably felt after being betrayed by Logan, the one that was arguably supposed to be the closest to them, and then the second lyric is because at the time, MC left and that was the last Logan knew of them with nothing to stand for what they used to have until they eventually came back to help save the crew.

Compass, The Neighbourhood [j]

If I don't have you with me, I'm alone / You know I never know which way to go / I think I need you with me for all-time / When I need new direction for my mind

I've got something to confess / I keep you in my pocket to use / You're my only compass / I might get lost without you / (Could you tell me where to go?)

You're always there to help me when I'm down / I'm lucky you've been keeping me around / You're the star I look for every night / When it's dark, you'll stick right by my side

Like a magnet / Hard to imagine ever changing / Can't help that I'm attracted to you, I am / Could you keep on guiding me? Please

This is a quintessential Logan song – reading these lyrics, it’s like Logan spoke them himself to MC, and that’s why I included so much of the song. All of these remind me of him and his hopeless romanticism, but specifically the line about her being the star he looks for every night? Absolutely perfect. This entire song is like a love letter from Logan to MC.

Don’t Leave Me, Blackstreet [p]

I’m searching for the words to make you realize / That I really, really want you to stay

Don’t leave, don’t leave me girl

This song was giving me Logan vibes from the diamond scene where he’s like “I can’t believe I love someone” and MC is like “you don’t get to say that to me” or some shit like that because he’s trying soo so hard to explain himself to her and to make her not hate him.

Imma Dog, Ugly God ft. PnB Rock [j]

You say you love me, shawty, tell me why / 'Cause I'm a dog and I'ma probably be this way until I die / You say you always gon' be by my side / You say you trust me with your heart and I swear, I just wonder why

Okay, hear me out, I forreal have reasons for this to be tied to Logan. The only verse in this song that’s a non chorus one is related to cheating, but I’m choosing to ignore that for the sake of the chorus. I heard the chorus for the first time and it made me think of one specific moment and point in time in Ride or Die. These lyrics remind me of Logan’s attitude when he was being mean and pretending to be annoyed by MC to get her off of him – despite the facade he’s still in awe of the way she trusts him and cares about him even when he’s treating her like garbage.

Life’s a Mess, Juice WRLD ft. Halsey [p]

Uh, sometimes life’s a mess

Lookin’ for somethin’ real, then I found it

I’m too flawed to hold you down, but / Don’t wanna be here alone

Logan knows all too well how much of a mess life really is (first lyric), and the second lyric is basically what I think he feels about MC. He told MC in the beginning that he doesn’t really stay with crews or trust anyone but himself, but MC was that exception before the rest of the crew became that exception too. And then the third lyric is because Logan looks at himself as someone who probably doesn’t deserve MC, Vaughn even said he was morally obligated to tell MC that she’s too good for his cousin (yes it was a joke (was it) but it fits), but he still wants her anyway (“Look at you...then look at me. You’re going to be valedictorian. I never even went to high school...I don’t have anything, and I wasn’t anybody, and I knew that. I always knew that….Some part of me really wants you to mess things up for me.” - Logan, Ch. 3).

Unfair, 6lack [p]

Hope my mistakes don’t make me less of a man / ‘cause lately it feel like them shits really can / I’m prayin’ I don’t wake up all alone

But know I’m stuck between / What I love and who I love and / I know it’s unfair

The first lyric I feel like is pretty self-explanatory as Logan expresses remorse for his actions (him acting weird and tryna tell MC about his dishonesty in the club, him making the effort to apologize or explain in the diamond scene after the reveal) and it especially hits if your MC is romancing Logan because he doesn’t want to lose them. As for the second lyric, I was thinking about how he was probably stuck between doing what’s best for the crew and doing right by MC

While We’re Young, Jhene Aiko [j]

Baby while we're young / I think we should do something crazy / Like say, "Fuck everyone" / And just run away from the daily routine

I'm tellin' everybody you're mine and I like it / And I really hope you don't mind, I can't fight it

'Cause it's been another perfect day with ya / Wanna lay with ya / Spend the night with ya / Then spend my life with ya, alright

I'll go everywhere you go / You know I'll go, I'll go / Everywhere you go

I'm giving you my heart, please don't break it / Take it and lock it up and put me in your pocket, love

This reminds me of Logan and MC’s brand of romance that’s sweet and clumsy and a little bit reckless when it really gets going. They’re both cautious but they fantasize about throwing caution to the wind even more than they already have.

Angel With A Shotgun, The Cab [p]

I don’t care if heaven won’t take me back / I’ll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Sometimes to win, you have to sin

And I want to live, not just survive

Lemme explain because I feel like people may think this song is really really out there for Colt but I was listening to this song one day and thought of him, esp the last two lines I chose: I think of how Colt came up with the kidnapping plan and how it was so crazy because it was like wow he really was ready for murder if it came down to it, but Colt was basically like we need to do something big to outsmart them or else we’ll just be doing shit for them forever (‘sometimes to win, you have to sin’).

Born 2 Be Great, Lil Tjay [p]

I was born to be great / And I won’t let nobody tell me I ain’t / And I can’t stop, won’t stop

Growin’ up, I’m gettin’ old, start settin’ goals / Tryna make more money off my business and shows / And everybody gon’ hate, I’m great, I know / Everybody can hate, I’m great, I know

These lyrics just scream COLT to me all the way. He knows and believes he’s destined for greatness no matter what path he chooses because no matter what he does, he’s gonna succeed in the end. “I can’t stop, won’t stop” reminds me of how Kaneko wanted Colt to choose for himself what he wanted to do, and even though Kaneko tried to shield Colt away from the family business, that’s where Colt wanted to be. The second lyric is essentially Colt just knowing he’s gonna make money and that he won’t be liked (hated by other crews, police, etc.), but that won’t matter because he’s great nevertheless.

Chandelier, B.o.B ft. Lauriana Mae [p]

They say life’s about choices / In the face of defeat I declined / Put your soul into everything, never back down / That’s how you leave a legacy behind

Let my blood keep pumping, my heart keep beating / Shining like a chandelier

Making something out of absolutely nothing / That’s the definition of a survivor

Colt definitely felt ‘put your soul into everything, never back down / that’s how you leave a legacy behind’ because of how much he focuses on carrying on what his family has built, and taking all the risks necessary to keep that legacy alive and make a name for himself. I put ‘shining like a chandelier’ because that’s how bright Colt shines, as I believe he’s destined for greatness and wouldn’t allow himself to achieve anything but.

Down Bad, Real Recognize Rio [j]

I've been out of my head for a couple minutes, for a couple miles / Made the hair stand up on my neck / On a knife edge, comin' at me for my crimes / Got a mind that can leave you locked inside

'Cause you got me down bad, down bad, your deep desire / Carve my name on your soul, then I walk through the fire / Your voice so clear, like you say my name / You got mе runnin' for my life like this shit was a game / Got mе down bad, down bad to feel your touch

This song reminds me of Colt specifically during the gambling scene when he got shot and the last car chase scene, because MC is put in serious danger but it does nothing to shake her love for Colt. She’s scared for her life and her future but she’s still willing to put everything on the line for him and MPC.

Forever Ever, Trippie Redd ft. Young Thug [p]

You gon’ really have to hold me fuckin’ down, babe / ‘Cause I ain’t with the fuckery, that playing ‘round, babe

We Bonnie and Clyde but except the shots

He don’t love you like he should, I can love you better

First and second lyric are because they’re a team, and Colt sees MC as his right hand. In the life he lives, the people on his team gotta be down fr because there’s always a lot at stake. The last lyric is more conditional, as I feel like this could be him if MC was also romancing Logan because in the reveal, Colt’s like you deserved to know and in the car in the chapter afterwards that’s when he’s like bro we could run this whole shit etc. etc.

Impala, O2worldwide [j]

I been watching you from a distance / Sitting back and acknowledging your existence / I made a couple songs but you'll probably never listen / Shooting my shot but i'm always fucking missing / Setting my ego aside / Me and you can go together just like Bonnie and Clyde / I've been tripping over you just like my shoes is untied / And I tried to hit you up its like my confidence died but

I see you everyday but don't past corners of eyes / I'm just gonna act like I didn't see you close to that guy / Not gonna lie you got me head over ears / I'm tryna find love because I don't know just how it feels

Anyone listening to this and reading the lyrics is going to hate me because… is this the perfect “Colt pining for MC because she’s getting close to Logan” Love Triangle song, or what? I listen to this song so casually most of the time that I forget how sad the lyrics actually are. The first couple verses (not the third verse) fit the narrative so well. A lot of my favorite “Colt” songs aren’t ones where they’re outwardly admitting any kind of affection for MC – they’re the ones where it reads as Colt struggling with their feelings for MC and how to express them.

PTSD, G Herbo ft. Juice WRLD, Lil Uzi Vert, and Chance the Rapper [p]

I don’t belong, I see my past everywhere

I got a war zone on inside of my head

A million dollars ahead, I’m still angry and seeing red

I’m too paranoid, I make sure all my opps, they bled

This song always guts me because G Herbo is talking about all the people he’s lost, and for Colt, I imagined this was probably him after losing his father. Reminded of his past when he saw the remains of the shop, reminded of his past every time after that probably when he was rebuilding the shop. As for the million dollars, it’s like he could pull off as many heists as he could but he would never be satisfied until Brotherhood paid, hence the last lyric because honestly I don’t think it’s over until Shaw is dead (ik there’s a line in ROD where he’s like if we were even, he’d be dead, I just know it).

Sun God, Trippie Redd [j]

Went out my way just to love you / Right at the top, no above you / Right off the top, know I trust you / Ready or not, here I come, boo / And baby, you're hot, like the sun, too / Not too hot for me, no I'm sun-proof / Follow your lead, I'ma come through / Just you and me, baby, one-two

I think this is Colt way farther down the line if MC had the chance to really fall in love with him. He’s the type to value trust and loyalty in a bond more than anything else because he doesn’t do either of those easily at all. And I think that the line about being sun-proof is a cute callback to a lot of the fandom comparisons of Colt and Icarus – the title too and the lyrics just scream Colt to me.

Where Does The Love Go?, Maria Isabel [j]

Nightly negotiations with the moon, whoever's listening / All the miles between us got me messed up, got me trippin'

They say lovin' is easy / But not when one of us is leaving

Back on a plane / Two different coasts / When we're alone / Where does the love go? / What if you go / Forget the way home? / Running in circles but never together / So where does the love go?

The more I listen to this song the more I think this song is about Colt and MC. Colt’s not a clingy type in the slightest, but there’s no doubt in my mind that deeper into the relationship, both Colt and MC would have some doubts – the reason I say this is because I’m viewing the lyrics through the lens of Colt and MC doing long distance while MC is in college on the East Coast. This whole song is long distance relationship anxiety summed up perfectly and it’s so Colt.

Yellow Lights, 24kGoldn [p]

Don’t want no yellow light / don’t want no mixed message

For the crown, ‘cause we could achieve it

Love you now, but don’t you deceive me

Second lyric resonated with me esp because of that line in the book where he’s like “But the two of us? We put our brains together, you and me could run this whole town” so he knows he could achieve an empire with MC by his side. Last lyric is because Colt definitely doesn’t trust those around him and for those that he does trust, that trust doesn’t come easy. So MC, who managed to get past that, is loved, but would automatically lose a lot if she deceived him (now imagine….snitch MC? This line would hit a lot more because she ends up deceiving him so like he had a right to be wary of her holding his heart (like if we’re looking at the pov of him saying this lyric)).

Can’t Love, Trippie Redd [p]

She say she love me, I think she love me not / She say she love me, I know she love me not

How could you do this to me? / Yeah, yeah, I thought you, I thought you loved

Another Mona and her ex song teehee but I’m imagining this from Mona’s pov while she’s in jail like wow that girl never loved me like she said she loved me (first lyric) and how could she betray me like this (second lyric).

Favorite Mistake, Giveon [p]

Is my secret safe? / Safe with just you and me / We can’t leave a trace / This is my favorite mistake

Look in my eyes / Do you mind the lies? Do you feel alive?

Even when you’re gone / The feeling just grow stronger / Should leave it alone / But you’re getting closer

So I finally did a Mona route and GOD yes this song is about cheating (Mona and Hieron can’t relate) but we gon ignore that and just focus on these lyrics specifically because wow they really hit me like Mona for one was in denial of her feelings for MC from the jump and at some point she’s like god this is so ridiculous I can’t believe I’m feeling this way again so ofc she doesn’t want people to know she’s in love (like that time Toby is like man she is NOT happy about liking you! in the club scene) hence the beginning of the first lyric but at the same time….. she’s in love… so “this is my favorite mistake.” As for the second and third, the lies are that “I don’t like you” ra ra ra she’s only fooling herself and then it’s like yeah she knows her feelings are dumb but she can’t help but fall for MC anyway <3

Gonna Love Me, Teyana Taylor [p]

Sometimes we say things that we really don’t mean / We do things in between the lines

Please wait up for me ‘til whenever I get home / I know that you’re all alone / Thinking ‘bout what you’re gon’ do / I hope that you see it through, ooh, ooh

Why is it so hard to keep in touch

For the first lyric, I was thinking of the time MC says “Being with you makes a difference to me. It feels safer” and Mona replies that “It’s just an illusion. A blanket. And I’ve told you before not to count on me.” Yeah she said that wit her chest but ik she knows it’s more than that for the both of them. The second and third lyric both have to do with her being in jail by the end of the book (making it literally hard to keep in touch), and even though she tells MC not to wait up, a part of me thinks the vulnerable part of Mona would’ve hoped at least a smidge that MC would, and the last bit ‘thinking ‘bout what you’re gon’ do / I hope that you see it through’ reminds me of the advice in the diamond scene of driving Mona to the hospital that she gave MC which was that to move on, you just gotta keep your foot on the gas and look forward and that eventually, she’ll be somewhere better than she’s ever been.

Love or Lust, 24kGoldn [p]

It’s love or it’s lust, we just need to be clear / ‘Cause if you’re in love, then I shouldn’t be here

Would you walk eight thousand miles just to make me smile on a rainy Wednesday? / If so, then you gots to go, it ain’t mutual and I’m not pretending

Basically in the beginning stages of MC falling for Mona, Mona’s like oh hell nah (“I shouldn’t be here”) and she recognizes that MC likes her a lotttt (MC would definitely walk eight thousand miles to make her smile on a rainy Wednesday) and so she’s like fuck

PLW, Leon Thomas [j]

Left my fear right at the door (ooh) / She's an animal hunting in the wild, yeah (in the wild) / Doesn't move around or groove / But she come from the depth / That's why she's down to earth / An instrument of war

Baby ain't no beginner / I got love for my little winner / Flashing or finessing / That's why I mess with her, yeah

And you don't have to worry, yeah / 'Cause I know what's she worth / No, you don't have to save me / From my pretty little weapon

Ooh my baby smart, and she sharp, and she sharp, yeah / Pretty little weapon

I’ll never ever get over how this song fell into my lap and is absolutely perfect for Mona. This is for an MC who acknowledges that Mona’s a badass and that she loves her because of her strong personality and unwavering confidence because she knows she’s good at her job. The first verse is the best approach an MC could take – leaving her fear at the door because she knows someone like Mona could sniff it out. The line “No, you don’t have to save me / From my pretty little weapon” kills me, because it’s accurate – on Mona’s route, despite any betrayal, the MC is still in love with her and knows that Mona would never actually hurt her.

Sleeping With the Enemy, BbyMutha & Kindora [j]

Creeping around corners / I don't feel like myself / Studying your movements / It's a carousel / And I can't confirm that you / Mean what you say / And I'm pretty sure / That it's / Better that way

Why can't I trust in you / Am I slipping up / Over you / If it really turned to be the way / That I think / How bad could it be?

And I know that we could go for / Round and round like 123 / And I gotta question myself / Is it coming? / Possibly / And I gotta wonder / Am I sleeping with the enemy?

I'm watching my back / Like I got nothing left / I give you all I got / Wish I knew what was next

The first time I heard this song it was a toss up between whether or not it was a Colt and Mona song (or both) but I settled on Mona pretty quickly after a re-listen. Not only is the internal conflict in the lyrics a perfect description of Mona’s own battle, but it could be easily viewed from MC’s perspective as well. The idea of knowing it’s “wrong”, and mistrusting them but pursuing it anyways is quintessential early Mona route.

The World is a Marble Heart, AJR [p]

We could have been, we should have been / What your heart couldn’t handle

Run away, girl, ‘cause I let you / Now you found some other man, you see / I’m better off without you, ‘cause the man ain’t me!

I’m going right now / To the beginning / What you denied from the start / And now you can’t go breaking my heart

The world is a marble heart / It’s bullshit and we know it

I think the first lyric is definitely MC to Mona because Mona was afraid to allow herself to be in love, and then evidently their relationship couldn’t blossom because Mona ends up arrested (“we could have been, we should have been”). This song called out to me because Mona always comments on how MC’s heart got them into the Brotherhood mess, how MC always think the crew is something they’re not, so MC’s heart is the marble heart and the last lyric (“it’s bullshit and we know it”) is essentially Mona being like girl you know we are not what you think we are. The second lyric is because in a scene after the reveal, Mona drives MC to Riya’s house and MC goes I wish we could run off together and Mona is like just say the word and MC is like I can’t :/// and then Mona is like the only one stopping you is you, and then “I’m better off without you” is Mona being don’t call don’t write don’t text

Would You, Pink Sweat$ [p]

Would you die for me? I would die for you / Would you shoot for me? I would kill for you / Would you run up the bag if I needed you to? / Girl, all the things that I’d do for you / Would you do for me too?

I wanna know when it pops off that you gon’ be right next to me

This was giving Mona and her ex from that scene where MC got a glimpse into Mona’s past. Essentially, Mona’s ex and her were thick as thieves, and when they got arrested, Mona didn’t say anything and her ex did, so Mona was always ten toes down but her ex never had her (Mona) like she (Mona) thought she (her ex) had her (Mona)

Both of Us, YFN Lucci [j]

Stay with me when there's no one else to call / If you got me then I'm in it for the both of us

Look, ayy, do you love me like you say you love me? / Ay, do you vow to keep it cute when everythin' get ugly? / Ay, if I ever leave, girl would you come lookin' for me?

I think that this song and these lyrics fit into the title of the book and how “ride or die” each of the love interests are for MC and vice versa. I think the softer parts of this song are MC for sure, and Logan at times, and the second bullet point is Colt and Mona. For them, it’s more of a promise of loyalty rather than love like the earlier lyric is (which is why I think that’s a bit more hopeless romantic like Logan).

C U Girl, Steve Lacy [j]

I haven't seen you in a while, you know I miss you babe / When you hear this song, feel flattered, it's about your face / And how I miss it and I wish that I could see it more / But you're in college now and I'm about to go on tour

I love this song because it makes me think of the possibility of MC and the LI having a “song” – one where any time they hear it they think of each other. And that when they hear it it makes them happy but at the same time they’re forced do think about the distance between them and how much they miss each other.

Collide, Tiana Major9 and Earthgang [j]

Everybody's got opinions on our thing / Say we're flying down a path with no ending / And if I die before I wake / Ooh, don't let me wake up from this dream / When we collide / When we collide, it's a beautiful disaster / When I crash into you, you, you

And I don't care about the future or the past / Riding slow, 'cause you know the world's moving too fast

Without you, I'm just a fraction / Closing in on my demise / And I love you religiously / With everything inside of me / As long as I'm alive

So I think it fits for all three because the relationship is taboo since they’re criminals and she’s a valedictorian getting ready for college. Their relationship is sloppy and dangerous and comes to an inevitable end, and they both know that, so this song for sure encapsulates how little both the LI and MC care about that. They don’t that it’s a trainwreck, because colliding is all that matters :)

Heaven, Clairo [j]

Alone, for the last time / You're just a loner / Give it a try / And you're hard on yourself / And your laugh, it just melts in my hands / Lonesome in the streets

I'll get by with you on my mind / I'll get by with you on my side

I love the idea of this song being viewed as MC’s perspective of her LI, because I’m sure the other LI’s haven’t been appreciated in the way that she appreciates them. For example, the line about the laugh melting in her hands makes me think about how they’d react to her saying that to them. None of the LI’s probably have never been told their laugh is cute, and I’m sure they’d be confused about it at first, so this whole song gives me a cute late night summer drive vibe. Like the MC is in the passenger seat of Mona or Logan’s car or draped around Colt and she’s just appreciating the things she loves about them.

Heaven Ain’t Hard 2 Find, Tupac [j]

Simply because you nervous, let me start off with my conversation / Hoping my information, elevates the hesitation / I can see it clearly now / Catch you smiling through your frown / I'm askin' Baby Boo are you down?

Heaven ain't hard to find / In fact you can have it just have faith / Just like a little kid, still believing in magic / It takes a lot of sacrifice / With all the lonely nights on tour / I need somebody I can trust in my life

Oh god help me identify me truest thoughts / Your hidden motives full of passion who would of thought / Come holla at me baby, love me for my thug nature / Far from a player hater, label me a money maker / Straight heart breaker

I originally added this song because it’s canon that Colt loves old West Coast Rap, so that makes me think he’s a huge Tupac fan. I can see him listening to this in his car driving down a California highway at like 2 a.m. On the other hand, though, the beginning of the song reminds me of the first meeting with Logan at the party, or the second meeting when they go to the car show – young love jitters and all that.

Keep Me Up, Charlotte Lawrence [j]

My heart starts beating and my hands start sweating / My chest starts sinking and sometimes will even start shaking / It's physical and emotional

And I don't want you all inside my head / And I can feel you running through my veins

When I say, and I say, and I say / That I want you in my life / But you stay, and you stay, and you stay / And you never leave my side / And you take, and you take, and you take / And you say you feel so nice, boy / And you keep me up all night

I think this fits with all the LI’s and MC and how they cope after the LI’s had to leave. Read it from both perspectives and it honestly fits so well for both of them – like the first couple months of restlessness staring at their ceiling while reflecting on how much they miss each other.

Kitchen, Kid Cudi [j]

Hmm, you wanna find somebody you trust and lay low / But it seems they all on the same mission / You wanna find somebody you trust and lay low / But can't stand the heat of my love, then stay out the kitchen

Oh baby here we are, I made a wish on shootin' stars / I ain't even mad at it, we made it this far

The attitude of this song reminds me of both Mona and Colt’s feelings about relationships – they both know they’re intense people and that they don’t trust or love easily, and that whoever’s interested in them needs to know that. They’re not going to apologize for it, but they appreciate anyone who sticks around and loves them despite that.

Meet Me Halfway, The Black Eyed Peas [j]

Can you meet me halfway, right at the borderline / Is where I'm gonna wait, for you / I'll be looking out, night n' day / Took my heart to the limit, and this is where I stay / I can't go any further than this / I want you so bad it's my only wish

I think of all three LI’s when I listen to this, because it fits into the idea of them struggling to maintain both of their lifestyles and have them mesh together. And it plays into the distance when MPC has to scatter.

Moonlight, Trippie Redd [j]

I can still be your man / I was tryna see your plans / 'Cause I was tryna have this dance tonight / Your body, girl, I'm a real big fan / And I cannot lose this chance / So, baby girl, grab my hand / This moment I'm waiting for, I fantasize / I just wanna be with you, I just wanna be with you tonight / Under the moonlight

This reminded me of the prom scene and how despite the chaos, all three love interests took the time to appreciate MC and soak up their last “date”.

out for the night, 21 Savage [j]

Five foot five (Five), she my ride or die (Die) / Never tell a lie (Lie), we like Bonnie and Clyde (Clyde) / Lookin' at her thigh (Thigh), like, "Do it come with rice?" (Rice) / She don't like FaceTime, she would rather Skype / But I'm out for the night (Straight up) / Out for the night (Straight up)

When I heard this song I could definitely see Colt listening to it, but I think the flirtiness of the song fits for all three love interests! Also, I mean… “she my ride or die” and “we like Bonnie and Clyde”? Self explanatory.

Part of Me, Teo [j]

I believe there's no one in your place / So much lovely / You can cure my mistakes / You reside in me no room for escape

You're my darling / You're my love / You're rocking all of your diamonds / All dressed up / And girl I lost my mind, no, I messed up / So now I'm knocking at your doors with my chest up

You're part of me / Come again and see / Diamonds make you sparkle

This reminds me of the prom scene from the LI’s perspective. And even more so than that, it reminds me of post prom/car chase where they have to say goodbye to each other the last time. It’s like a bittersweet tribute to MC about how much they mean to them and how much they’ll think about them when they’re apart.

Special, 21 Savage [j]

We got something special / I was finna text you / But I don't wanna pest you / Even if we ain't together (no matter we're forever) / I'm still coming to your rescue

Ride with me (ride with me) / Tell the truth and don't you lie to me (lie to me) / You know I need you on my side with me (side with me) / Tell the truth and don't you lie to me (lie to me) / Baby, roll with me (roll with me)

I'mma hold you down forever / You my round forever / They just want to use you, but I'm tryna help you

I think of Colt mostly with this song, but it definitely fits with all of the li’s in my opinion! Logan, Colt, and Mona would all approach their relationship with MC this way – constantly affirming that they’re there for MC no matter what, even if things go South with them, they’re always one call away. And especially the last line “they just wanna use you, but I’m tryna help you” that’s for sure an overprotective LI about the Jason Shaw situation and generally people taking advantage of MC’s kindness.

Drunk on Love, Rihanna [p]

Take me away / I wear my heart on my sleeve / Always let love take the lead / I may be a little naive, yeah

I feel like I’ve heard MC being described as naive, and even in the book Mona is like man it’s your damn heart that got us into this mess because you thought we were more than who we are, so yeah this song reminded me of MC.

Final Goodbye, Rihanna [p]

Thought that you would stay forever with me / But the time has come to leave

Promise you our love will carry on

Final goodbye, MC saying goodbye to their LI, you catch my drift.

The Good, the Bad, and the Dirty, Panic! at the Disco [p]

If you wanna start a fight / You better throw the first punch / Make it a good one

I feel like this lyric specifically is saying that if you’re gonna stand for something, you better give it your all, and it reminded me of how MC came up with the plan to defeat the Brotherhood in the last few chapters of ROD, and to get out of it, they really had to go all out (AKA MC telling the police everything, meaning the gang had to go on the run). Also, MC just nose-dived into this life and I feel like this lyric is like ‘well sis if you gon be a criminal you might as well do your best’ (and she did when she bodied her first heist I know that’s right, my driver forever <3).

Harder We Fall, Jessie J [p]

So, whatever path we choose to take / There will be highs and there will be lows, the same / Oh, we’ll never run from our mistakes / The harder we fall the harder we try again

I just feel like this is a good song for MC to listen to in the car on her way to Langston yk crying but the windows are down and the wind is wiping your tears so you just keep it pushing because you’ll live and you’re stronger than your lows.

House of Memories, Panic! at the Disco [p]

If you’re a lover, you should know / The lonely moments just get lonelier / The longer you’re in love than if you are alone / Memories turn into daydreams, become a taboo

I think of you from time to time more than I thought I would

I just feel like this is a perfect song for MC going through the motions of leaving their lover behind and thinking about the times they shared because her life with the crew will always be so drastically different than the life she was went to have (going to Langston, being the ‘goody two shoes’, etc.).

Let It Out, Trippie Redd ft. Myiah Lynnae [p]

I need to know, before I tell you, can I trust you?

Idk man this song really just spoke to me.

Saw You in a Dream, The Japanese House [j]

I saw you in a dream / You had stayed the same / You were beckoning me / Said that I had changed / Tried to keep my eyes closed / I want you so bad / Then I awoke and it was so sad

Haven't talked to you in months / And I thought that I might cry / But I'm not that kind of girl

All good things come to an end / But I thought that this might last / But you came and left so fast

I wonder if you'll come visit me again / You're taking your time to reappear / I'm starting to believe that when I call your name / You just don't hear me anymore / And I know that I shouldn't even try / It's a waste of time

I don’t think I need to go super in depth as to why this reminded me of MC, but I do see this as MC’s defeated approach to it in the months/years after meeting the MPC.

Silent Nite, Tink [p]

I put your joy and your feelings ‘fore mine / These days I’m angry, angry inside / No words to say (oh) / One thing to do / Move on and fall back from you / It’s gonna be a silent night / No one here to hold me tight / It’s gonna be a silent night / No one here to hold me, oh, oh I’m lonely / Lost for words (lost for words)

It’s a short song so I just put the whole lyrics in here LMFAO but I feel like this could be MC during her first few nights at Langston. For Hieron at least, I know she went through a range of emotions processing this new chapter without the people she holds dear, angry at the way this is how things had to play out, but all that’s left for her to do is get over it, move on, and get used to not having that support anymore (i.e. like if MC is used to cuddling with [insert LI], they deadass gotta sleep alone now f in the chat).

Smile, Juice WRLD ft. The Weeknd [p]

I’d do anything in my power to see you just smile / I want you to prosper and come proper / Even if that means I ain’t by your side

I spent every day right beside you (‘side you), ‘side you (‘side you) / A hundred pics of me on your phone / Now you’re someone that I used to know

OKAY so I’m absolutely obsessed with this song and the first lyric was definitely giving me Logan x MC because I feel like this is something he could’ve said during his goodbye, like saying something that vulnerable and heartwrenchingly sweet is def on-brand for him, but the second lyric I feel like fits all the LIs. Like because they were part of the crew, they spent so much time with MC, and now that they’re gone, MC has all those pictures and memories that they  want to hold on to them so badly even though they can never be together again (‘now you’re someone that I used to know’)

Stuck With Me, The Neighbourhood [j]

Now I'm feeling guilty for it / Didn't wanna leave / Realized I'm less important / Than I thought I'd be, yeah / I'm not tellin' you for any certain reasons but / I just want your empathy

Our lives keep on gettin' shorter / Losin' opportunity / There might be some other ways of looking at it but / That's just what I see / I been gettin' over myself / Thinkin' about what you need / Then I realised that neither of us matter

You always end up stickin' to me / Somehow, somehow / You are stuck with me / So I guess I'll be sticking with / You are stuck with me / So I guess I'll be sticking with

So I think this song covers a lot of topics for MC. I think the vibe of the lyrics suit MC when she’s dealing with her relationship with her father, being pressured by Jason Shaw, and grappling with whether or not she’s making the right decision despite it all – homegirl was falling in love throughout all of it, too. Reading the lyrics with that lens made me think of each of the lines as a different conversation. The first part sounds like a tidbit of a conversation she could’ve had with her dad or about her dad. The next one is like a realization that despite how careful she is with her choices, nothing matters anyways, if the MC takes a nihilistic approach to it. And the last lyric is her conclusion with the LI that despite everything, she’s happy that she’s with her LI and she’s grateful for their loyalty.

worst behavior, Ariana Grande [j]

I been on my worst behavior / But, baby, I don't need no savior / I'm way outta line / But I kind of like the way I / Feel when I just don't give a fuck

This ain't no game, won't play with you / This time I know I'll stay with you / Just promise you won't say nothin' / Don't you be actin' like that, don't you be actin' like that, babe

Said baby it's just in my nature / To be a little troublemaker

Know you really like the way I / Taste when we kiss, you reminisce / But this ain't the last time / Just stay by my side

This song reminds me of rebellious MC before the gravity of the situation really hits her – the short span of time where she’s not worrying about being Valedictorian or college or her dad’s approval. She’s just living and falling in love for the first time. This could probably work for all LI’s but the specific “troublemaker” line makes me think of an MC who is trying to reassure Logan that she can make her own decisions.

1Day, PnB Rock ft. Ugly God [j]

Momma told me that I wouldn't be shit / Told her one day / I'ma be rich (huh)

One day, I'ma buy a big ass crib  / One day, I'ma buy a big ass mansion / One day, all my fucking diamonds gon' be dancing / One day, I'ma fuck a bitch in the Hamptons / One day, I'ma eat the sushi with the salmon

Dropped out of college, everybody said I'm tripping / Told them be patient, but they ass wouldn't listen / Made it big time, now they fucking with the vision / Now I'm really rich, and my diamonds really glistening

The lyrics kind of remind me of the lifestyle that they live – whether or not they fell for the MC in the process, they all kind of have the motive of money and being successful in their own way. Even though the li’s and MC have their own shortcomings and wants and needs outside of MPC, I like to think of this song as an ego booster and probably representative of their attitudes when they joined MPC at the beginning. Reminds me of Logan especially since he joined the life so early and probably romanticized it for the longest time before it really went to shit. And to add to that, the last lyric is Colt all the way.

92 Explorer, Post Malone [p]

Ooh, baby, I see these muhfuckas’ glancin’ / When my whip stop, then my wheels keep spinnin’

Made a lot of M’s, made a lot of moves

This song is literally all about Post Malone’s precious car so I was like LMFAO why not because everyone in ROD loves their cars and then the last lyric is because they be making a lot of money with their transactions/steals.

Best Friend, Saweetie ft. Doja Cat [p]

Beep beep, is that my bessie in a Tessie?

Listen... I feel like we were robbed of the peak best friend dynamic that could’ve existed between Riya and MC so this whole song is for them (also c’mon MC could’ve snatched a Tesla if she reeaaally wanted too so yup that’s Riya’s bessie in a Tessie).

Lost It, Rich The Kid ft. Quavo and Offset [p]

The Bentley don’t cost shit / I walk out the bank rich

Okay, drank sippin’, lane switchin’ / I done brought my gang with me

Ooh, I might snatch the coupe

First one because they really could get any car they wanted, second lyric because gang always together yk, and last one because they really be stealing cars out here LMFAO.

Royal Rumble, Lil Tecca [p]

My life is a movie, you not ready for that clip

It’s a Royal Rumble

ROD really is a wild ride (‘my life is a movie’) and the ‘it’s a Royal Rumble’ just reminded me of the fact that it’s basically a showdown between two crews where one wins in the end but at what cost.

Runnin’, 21 Savage and Metro Boomin [p]

Runnin’, runnin’, runnin’, runnin’

We run the motherfuckin’ city

Fuck your crew, [redacted], we’ll kill your crew

First lyric is because literally everyone has to scatter by the end of the book, and the second lyric just gave me their vibes, whether or not they truly ran the city. The last lyric makes me laugh because Colt really was about to kill the other crew, the ‘we’ is a lilll bit loose in that sense though LMFAO because I know damn well Toby was not ready to go down like that.

Stuntin’ Like My Daddy, Birdman ft. Lil Wayne [j]

What we doing? Getting money / What they doing? Hating on us, but they never cross / Cash money still a company, and, bitch, I'm the boss / And I be stuntin' like my daddy, stuntin' like my daddy

Colt and Teppei don’t get along, but I like to think that Colt not only bumps this song in his car, but secretly imagines that him and Teppei run L.A. – either together or with Colt taking the reins.

Takin’ Shots, Post Malone [p]

Drinkin’ all night, but we ain’t done yet / Waitin’ on the plug, but he ain’t come yet

Already losin’ control, this is the life that we chose

The first lyric and this song overall just give me club vibes, like the underground one they went to where MC wears that neon fit. The part in the second line that always gets me is ‘this is the life that we chose’ because being a part of this crew was a choice for most, and they knew what comes with this lifestyle.

Trouble on Central, Buddy [j]

So the entire song is pretty much the idea  “I wish life were better and I’m daydreaming about how good things could be for me”. And to be honest, I think that the vibes of that fit Logan when he was young and broke, but at the same time, I could see Colt bumping this song in a convertible.

VEGAS, ABRA [j]

The whole song reminds me of the gambling scene and the high stakes of it. It kind of reads like the MC trying to fit in with dangerous criminals while she’s there despite the MPC thinking she’s not ready for it

[puttingfingerstokeys]

[untitled]

Nanowrimo day 11 and 12 Featuring Batman, Harley Quinn, Ivy, the Joker, Jim Gordon and some fishies Shit’s a batman ficlet idk B A T M A N... lemme see, abuse implications, kidnapping, no ACTUAL abuse in here, but there’s definitely residual emotional manipulation Unfinished and unedited

Rain pelted the pavement mercilessly as the storm which had been hanging over Gotham finally broke. It was a release of days and days of merciless humidity and a stillness unlike anyone had seen in a very long time. The farmer’s almanac called for vicious storms for several days and the way this was looking, the Dark Detective had no choice but to believe it. 

“Master Bruce,” Alfred’s calm, cultured tone filtered gently through the warble of static caused by the storm. Batman touched his earpiece and responded with a grunt. 

“Need I remind you that being out in this weather is somewhat hazardous? No common criminal would bother with a robbery in this.” 

“No,” responded the Bat gravely, “but I’m not after a common criminal.”

Batman had been stalking the culprit of a series of murders which smacked of his nemesis, the Joker, so random they had been in nature and each one a pun of the victim’s favorite hobby. The Joker had managed, somehow, to turn relief and relaxation into hell for theses ostensibly innocent people. In fact, had Batman not seen this type of pattern a thousand times before, he might have chalked it up to a common serial killer. Oh, how he yearned for one of those for once. 

It was an awful sentiment, he knew, and one for which Clark would surely scold him. Boyscout, Bruce thought with an odd ring of affection to his internal monologue which, in general, maintained a steady, harsh monotone. Batman had settled himself on the roof of central Gotham’s largest cathedral, looking for all the world like a gargoyle even when lightning lit up the city for a brief second or two, when the Bat Signal shone off the low-hanging clouds. 

Without a thought, he was off like a shot, gliding through the city on bat wings of a patented Wayne Tech polymer. If anyone could find a clue to the identity of the next victim, it would absolutely be the Gotham City Police Commissioner James Gordon. The man had the sharpest mind in the city, aside perhaps from Bruce himself. 

Still the rain roared on, washing the gutters clean and affecting a feeling of ablution upon the soiled city. It was an awful place, Gotham, and had appropriately gained an awful guardian. Batman knew damn well that he was no hero. He did what needed to be done, an opportunist at the best of times, with only a strong sense of justice to separate him from men like the Joker. 

Alighting upon the roof of the Gotham City Police Department, a lovely old building with vestiges of the art deco era in which it had been erected, he approached Jim Gordon from the shadows, as ever. The man did not move, an unlit cigarette hanging out of one side of his mouth, hands stuffed into his pockets, waiting in the rain, impassive, for Batman to arrive. 

Something was amiss. There was no way to properly place it beyond a “gut feeling”, but Batman had been in the business, as it were, long enough to know when to listen to those. He moved like a shade as the figure turned and brought a massive, toy-looking mallet down upon the spot where he had just stood, cracking the concrete of the rooftop. 

“OOPs! Ah well! Mistah J woulda been mad if I’d hitchya anyoo,” came a screechy declaration from the figure of the person who was supposed to have been Jim Gordon. 

“Harley,” Batman rumbled, his entire body coiled like a spring, watching the possible trajectory of her mallet, but also observing the woman herself. She affected, as always, a joyful grin and a bouncy, playful countenance, but it did not reach her eyes. He would not have required a flash of lightning to ascertain that, but the sky obliged him nevertheless. “I thought you’d moved on.”

“Oh no, nope, not me, no way--me an’ Mistah J are ‘mad love’ y’know? Endgame stuff, Batsy! So if you’ll just hold still so I can ding ya up a little!” Batman evaded a swing yet again, observing the sluggish movements, wondering if she had been drugged. Her heart was not in this. “Maybe one day you’ll undah-stand!”

Somehow, he considered internally, I doubt that. He did not pity her, per se, Batman knew better than to stoop to such a level, but the Dark Detective also knew an abuser when he saw one. The Joker was no lover, nor was he a fighter. Point of fact, the man was a deranged bully. Harley was a survivor, though at this point, she was a victim, caught once more in the tangled web of her misplaced devotion and the Joker and his utterly inexplicable charisma. 

“Put it down, Harley,” Batman warned. He did not want to do her harm, especially if she was not fully in control of her faculties. Something must have happened between her and Ivy, he thought, if she went back to him. It was probably bad. His mind, honed to a fine edge, quickly settled on a course of action. 

“Nope!” She swung again, a little harder this time. The lightning made itself known, followed by a peal of thunder, well-timed given her swings. Once more, Batman danced around the end of her mallet, a hair’s breadth from being clobbered. This was, of course, by design. If he could keep her swinging, he might be able to tire her out. Tiring her out meant speaking with her, which was the ultimate goal here. 

“Where has the Joker taken Jim Gordon?” His words came out measured, even, without panic. He knew he had the upper hand and he surmised that Harley Quinn knew it too. It was only a matter of time before her previous commotion with the mallet alerted the rest of the police department and Captain Harvey Bullock raced to the rooftop to find this scene. 

Batman was of the opinion that Bullock was far more apt to pull his service revolver on him than he was upon Harley, which was just as well, given that she was not wearing armor of any kind. What was the Joker thinking, sending her like this? There was really no explaining his motivations in the end, but that did not stop Batman trying. Delving into that mind was a dangerous game, he knew, but to beat them, sometimes you had to be them. 

“Harley,” he barked, “start talking or the GCPD will likely open fire.”

They had no love for the Joker and his on-and-off companion and would spare no bullet taking her out, especially if there was a chance she had harmed the beloved Jim Gordon. If they could take out Batman as well, all the better. Bullock harbored him no love. Indeed, none was lost between them. 

“I’m not here to talk, sweetie,” she mocked, dancing about and then bringing the mallet down violently between them. This time, Batman laid a hand over hers and stopped the movement with firm, downward pressure. 

“Harley,” he said, his voice just audible above the deluge. “I know you’re scared. I can protect you, but you have to tell me where Jim Gordon is.”

“I don’t need your protection, Bats,” she hissed. “I’m jus’ fine on my own.”

He had no doubt she was, but that was not what was motivating her. Either she and Ivy had fought, as he had first assumed, or the Joker had Ivy and was essentially using her as incentive, e.g.: “do as I say or the broad dies”. The idea turned Batman’s guts, which meant that it was most likely the case. 

“He has Ivy too, doesn’t he?” He did not release the mallet’s handle and at his words, her struggles ceased. She looked him in the eyes, her big, baby blues watery with what she would like to have said was rain. “You don’t have to say a word, just nod.”

Her head moved up and down, ever-so-slowly, a motion that was almost imperceptible. Batman’s jaw tightened. He swallowed down volcanic rage, mastering it as he mastered all things in his life, with calm persistence and incredible willpower. Insead of unleashing it unjustly upon Harley Quinn, he redirected his attention to the very real threat of the police department just below them. 

Ra’s Al Ghul had done him a favor by granting him use of the Lazarus Pit, but so too had the man doomed Bruce Wayne to a lifetime of recalibrating himself to his new, enhanced senses, perceptions that were beyond human ken and yet hardly foreign to him. He heard the stamp of footsteps upon the stairway leading to the roof access door and, without another thought, grasped Harley about the midsection and tossed the two of them off the side of the building. 

At the last moment, Batman deployed his grappling hook and, with preternatural strength, supported their weight as they swung away from Gotham City law enforcement, spearheaded by no less than Harvey Bullock himself. Batman was not surprised. A few buildings away, it was much easier to enjoy this sensation. Any closer and they would have had bullets whizzing past their heads. 

Harley was clinging to him, her gaze far, far away, staring into some middle distance that may or may not have existed at one point or another. She was mumbling something, but Batman was too focused on potential pursuers to listen properly. After a moment, he refocused, but she was done speaking. 

“Harley,” he prompted, speaking her name for the fifth time that evening. This time, it was followed by no other sentiment but his demand for attention and consciousness. She wrung her hands, having abandoned the mallet on the roof of the GCPD. That was just as well. They would feel they had a clue and might just leave the Bat in peace. Unlikely, the detective reminded himself, but I’ll take any head start at this point.

“I’m here,” she whispered, finally, her knees giving way. She sank to the rooftop of the building they’d found and wrapped her hands about her knees. Batman did not move to aid her. Lightning flashed and thunder roared at them, the heavy rain continuing its torrential downpour upon their heads. Wordlessly, Batman lifted his cape and solidified one section of it, using his cutting edge Wayne Tech patent for little more than an umbrella for the soaking woman in red and white spandex. 

“Are you really?” 

He was not expecting an answer. Batman just needed to keep her taking. She was a chatty one when she wanted to be, but in distress, the poor thing had a tendency to clam right up. Batman did not bother to wonder where she had learned that. 

“Yeah,” she said after a few moments. “I’m here. Mistah J jus’... he needed a favor y’see? An’ I didn’t wanna help him. So he made an offer I couldn’t refuse.”

“He took Ivy.” This was not a question. While Batman was surprised the Joker had somehow found a way to overcome the plant woman’s frankly prodigious strength, he was not surprised at the depths to which the so-called Clown Prince of Crime would go to extract obedience from his subordinates, even those who no longer considered themselves such.

She tilted her gaze upward to meet his. The response was evident in her expression, painted as it was. The rain would have made short work of anything less than full clown makeup and, unfortunately, the Joker never settled for anything less. Harley’s face, therefore, was a mask of sorrow and manufactured glee. 

Batman wasn’t certain he could continue to meet her gaze the way it was now. Pity was beneath him, but if anyone was pitiable, it was Harley Quinn in her current state. She was not a weak-willed woman, but the Joker had always held some kind of sway over her that Batman both found distasteful and completely, utterly, inexorably understandable. He despised this latter principle, finding it, like pity, base and beneath him. 

This time, the Joker had taken things one step further it seemed, and had withdrawn a compelling insurance policy. There was nothing Harley would not do for Poison Ivy, and who could blame her. Ivy had given her a new lease on life, autonomy she would not have known at Joker’s side, and a sense of self worth that had been well-deserved, but long in coming. 

Batman’s fist closed, tight and threatening, though he was not directing it at her. It was yet another tool he used to control his rage. She did not detect the gesture, focused instead upon the city’s skyline, highlighted randomly by flashes of lightning. Harley was worried about Ivy, almost paralyzed with that fear. Sitting here was doing her absolutely no good, however. 

“We gotta… go,” she said, forcing herself to speak and then, shakily, to stand. “Mistah J has ‘em at the aquarium. Saltwater ain’t too good for a plant y’know?” Her speech was casual, upbeat and almost a little manic, as always, but there was an edge to it that suggested to Batman that, were he to deliver the Joker to these women, there would be little left. 

He was sorely tempted. 

“Where?” The repetition of the question felt grating even as it passed his lips, but he spoke it anyway, Harley would snap back to herself at least long enough to tell him where he could find those whom he sought. She could sit this one out. She was shaken and in no condition for combat of any kind, in his estimation. 

“Aquarium,” she said, shoulders sagging even as she stood erect, swaying a little, but still upright. Her resolve was impressive, there was no denying that. All the same, pushing herself would do Ivy no good and might jeopardize the lives of both hostages. 

“Stay here,” he instructed. “I won’t be long.”

An iron grip around his arm stopped him mid stride. Batman turned to look once more into Harley’s eyes. She was not a tall woman, at all, but she commanded a remarkable presence and held his attention with little more than her own charisma. This attribute, he thought, more than rivaled the Joker’s. It was a more sincere sort of charisma, to boot, almost endearing. The Dark Detective reminded himself that she was, of course, a world-class criminal and could have killed him on more than one occasion. Only his luck and the Joker’s arrogance had stopped her. 

Now, they had a common goal and Batman wondered just what her formidable intellect could do when put to a use other than something maniacally nefarious. She held tightly to his arm with one hand, the other one balling into a fist beneath her downturned face. It appeared, from this angle, as if she was chewing intently upon the middle knuckle of her first finger, as if weighing her options. 

“We don’t have long,” he warned, knowing she of all people understood this, but feeling the need to reiterate. She shifted her weight a little then and released his arm. Harley brought one fist into her other hand, hard and looked up from under pale lashes. 

“I’m gunna kill him,” she hissed, jaw tight. Batman laughed through his nose, a dry sound, barely audible above the growl of thunder. He was not laughing at her, but rather at the circumstances which had forced this strange union. Pity was beneath him, sure enough, but for a brief moment, he pitied the Joker. He had little time to consider this strange turn of events because she, without warning, took off toward the edge of the building in the direction of the Gotham City Municipal Aquarium. Tossing herself over the ledge, Harley Quinn fell without a care in the world, knowing damn well the Dark Knight was there to catch her.

True to form, he did, and guided them expertly through the labyrinthine streets of Gotham City. Overhead, the storm raged, driving pedestrians inside and drowning the sounds of enraged nighttime traffic, softening the glow of neon and muffling much other than the maelstrom itself. The wind tossed rain this way and that, forcing it every direction save downward, though it all eventually ended up in the same place. The sewers would be a nightmare this evening. Batman silently thanked whatever god was listening that he was dealing with Joker and not Killer Croc. 

When they landed near the rear entrance of the aquarium, Harley was sufficiently worked up and it was only physical intervention which stopped her marching right on in. She bristled and tugged her arm away from Batman’s restraining grasp. He loosed his grip but gave a warning shake of his head, indicating that if she just stormed in, the Joker would know exactly what had happened and would perhaps execute both hostages. The man was woefully unstable, but he was no fool. 

On the other hand, it was very likely the Joker had anticipated this, as well. 

“Get me in there,” Batman said, “and I’ll handle it.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” She was utterly incredulous, almost irritated at the very idea that the Joker would believe that she actually managed to lay low the Dark Detective himself with only her silly mallet which, notably, she no longer possessed. It was only at that point she seemed to realize just how twisted his perception of her must have been. Her hackles rose once more. I’ll show you, she thought venomously. "What, are we supposed to play pretend or somethin'?"

“I have a feeling the Joker won’t buy whatever we’re selling,” Batman observed. Harley seemed to understand his meaning and nodded, cracking her knuckles menacingly. He could feel the shift in her demeanor. The rain would not be enough to cool her down and it was falling harder than ever. The dismally hot spell had broken spectacularly and made for a cacophonous backdrop to their entry. 

Batman stooped to pick the lock of the employee entrance. He felt a rush of air and tilted his body to the side just in time to evade Harley’s heel, booting her way through the set of double doors, kicking them inward with an almost animal fury. He wondered what the Joker had doped her up with, because the old Harley Quinn wouldn’t have been able to break a stick over her knee—or maybe she just hadn’t been inclined.

“Afta you, Bats,” she said, in her usual timbre, but without that manic enthusiasm characteristic of her villainous persona. She’s pissed. Batman made a mental note to give her a wide berth when they finally came upon the Joker and his prey. For now, he would allow her to be at his back, but the moment he saw the Clown Prince, he resolved to make certain he was never between the two of them. Batman inclined his head slightly and moved into the dark beyond, his cape and cowl blending seamlessly in with the utter lack of illumination. Before his eyes adjusted, he was forced to rely on his other senses. Batman had learned years ago that technology could only get you so far and, where the Joker was concerned, less really was invariably more.

The shift in noise level as the door closed was almost enough to mask the incoming blow. He had all but expected this and shifted his weight, whirling to deflect her two-fisted blow which had likely been aimed at his upper back. She stumbled a few feet and hit the wall with a thud. The sound of her sliding downward told him all he needed to know. She was not out cold, just defeated, assured that she could not hope to attain that which her “puddin” so desired.

“Can’t blame a girl for tryin’,” she offered. The fight—with him at least—had gone out of her. He hoped this would be the last instance of it. The Fury who had kicked the door in was better suited to rescuing Ivy and Jim Gordon than making an attempt on Batman’s consciousness.

“No,” he confirmed, “I can’t.” He offered her a hand. She groped blindly for it and allowed herself to be pulled upward. She was light, more than usual, and he wondered how long she had been in the Joker’s service. How long had he been holding Ivy? What promises had he uttered? What threats? It did not bear consideration, but Batman could not stop himself.

“Yowch, easy!” He had been squeezing her hand and only her cry drew him back from dark contemplations. He released it with a grunt and turned his attention up the hallway. Even the auxiliary lighting had been shut down, so the exit sign above their point of entry offered no help. They were in a windowless, concrete corridor which felt as if it sloped down, probably toward the larger tanks. The Gotham Municipal Aquarium was known for its diverse specimens and rehabilitation program, but most of all for its rescued orca. A bad-tempered, giant dolphin with teeth, Batman thought. He knew that the species was not inherently vicious, but anything kept in an enclosure that was barely a drop in the bucket compared to its natural habitat was bound to have bouts of aggression. He was willing to place money on the chances that the Joker’s great game revolved around the whale.

Batman shuddered inwardly at the thought. There were few methods and forms of combat with which he was unfamiliar and he had all but mastered most of the ones he did know. Aquatic combat was far outside his range of expertise, however, and he would have been more than willing to defer to Arthur Curry, better known as Aquaman. But they did not have time to raise the League. Only Alfred knew where they were. If he suspected trouble, he would raise Nightwing and the others as quickly as possible, but there was simply no guarantee of timely arrival.

Every single day (and night) in Gotham was a game of chance, however. Batman knew this better than most and threw himself into each foray into his hateful, beloved city with fervor and conviction. He reflected that the risk into which he willingly stepped was something the citizens of Gotham navigated every second of every day on their own, without his unique set of skills. He admired that kind of tenacity. He was a hero born of that tenacity, though if one had asked him, Batman would hardly have used the word “hero”. I do what needs to be done, he reminded himself as they made their way down the sloping corridor, now side by side. Harley, he was sure, was going to make no more moves against him, but he did not get where he was by being careless.

“He’s in the whale cage,” she informed Batman in a harsh stage whisper. There was little point in sneaking, they both knew. The Joker’s plans usually came to at least some form of fruition and that usually meant the Dark Detective showing up right on time for the “main event”.

“I know,” he said, holding his hand up, signaling that she should stop. She did not. Harley bullied her way past him and strode right down into the orca enclosure’s backstage area. This door, she did not need to break, and simply walked right through before Batman could stop her. He was right behind, but with an air of caution she simply did not possess. Calling out to her at that point would have done no good. She had already seen her target. He stood center stage, so to speak, with the pair of them, Ivy and Gordon, tied firmly, one off to the side and clearly unconscious, the other awake and struggling, standing precariously at the end of the performers’ high dive. Below, the orca circled, his massive, drooping dorsal fin trailing in the water like a shark’s.

[ts-seychelles]

EP. 2 - “Old Yeller Me Out Back” - DAN

Ep 2: So like, I'm annoyed because last round OF COURse, the other tribe picked to save jared. God i hope nicole goes because I don't want to deal with that shit every round its gonna be annoying.

the hosts are holding me hostage ;-; this is so sad. Lets see what tea I can spill. Roxy, Zach and I are basically in a poly and I think I'm gonna back stab him so I can only have Roxy for myself. I aint gonna share hurmph. Jealous wifeu. Oh and johnny idk if he backstabbed me but we were talking about dying so that's something

I was such a flop this first round, I’m literally embarrassed to still be here hahaha. I never would have played a game like this a year or two ago. Oh well, coming out of retirement has it’s disadvantages. As for the tribe, I feel really good about Ash and Dan and Augusto, they all seem great!! I want to work with those 3, I think an alliance would be great, but I don’t know yet how they feel about each other, so I’ll wait until I figure that out before I approach it. I want to try Jared, but it’s hard bc he’s been exiled so we really couldn’t strategize this round, idk who he wants to work with. I don’t feel good about JG, Frankie, Drake or Regan. Idk if they just don’t like me or if they wanna target me, but they have literally either ignored me/left me on read or had the most dry conversations with me. Like I’m so social, I can talk to anyone, but not brick walls, come on now. Ash told me yesterday that they were throwing my name around, which was terrifying. The only reason I didn’t vote earlier is bc I didn’t know if I was going to have to do something crazy. You can’t change your vote, so I didn’t wanna screw myself, but I guess that’s what I did anyway. I literally forgot about tribal, I was watching a damn Harry Potter movie totally clueless that I was getting a self-vote. So sorry hosts and audience, I don’t wish to disappoint and I am doing my best, but this is such a busy time for me. Hopefully I’ll still be here when my life is a bit less hectic. It’s exciting to be playing again, I just need to get my groove back hahaha

So Allison is gone..... am I sad about it? .......no.

Moving into this reward challenge, feeling pretty good about this team. We get along well, and a relatively quiet. Hope that's the same experience everyone else is having and it's not just me.

So far I’m in 0 alliances but I think that’s ok. In Ko Chang I was fresh off an ORG where I was a major goat and let someone else run my game and I wasn’t particularly nice to the other side, so I was a Nat10 essentially. Still got 4 votes tho by begging and pleading 😌😌😌😌but I went into Ko Chang wanting to change that and actually run the game to win and be respected, ended up getting blindsided for being too controlling, and now in an attempt to finish my business I’m trying to change my game AGAIN and succeed by building genuine relationships and I think I am. I actually like my tribe a lot and I think I could be legit friends with Ash and Augusta especially, vs last season I kinda disliked a lot of them on a personal level. I’m just gonna take it slow and build genuine relationships with people and be nice and maybe it’ll be what it takes for me to win.

Me throwing this reward challenge because I don't want anyone on my tribe to get closer to figuring out the idol has been found and I'm the one that has it? Sounds like a plan!! Crooks and Zach are "comparing" idol search notes with me and I'm scared because I was open with where I searched, but only because it was the FIRST FUCKING TIME LOOKING FOR IT!!! I didn't even know how to LIE about not finding the idol, but aye, at least I got one, so I'll take that as a W

https://youtu.be/6SiwJELGFp8

Okay so this rigging for Alex Crooks is UNREAL. First a graphic design challenge and now a music video challenge? Boiiii. I’m gonna kermit. I hate that this is how the game is starting. If we lose I hope I get sent to ghost island so I can chilllll. But they’ll prolly send JG or someone else who isn’t very active. *SIGH* I called with Jared for a little bit tonight. What a good seed. I probably talked too much game with him, but he seems really nice and all. Yeah he’s Nicole’s boyfriend, and that’s something I need to consider moving forward, but tbh my cold bitter gay heart felt warm talking to him. He actually made me genuinely laugh and seems like a nice kid. I’d be willing to get third for a Nicole/Jared final 2. I’d stan.

We won reward too! Let's just keep winning and not have to ever worry.

WOW We love an episode two winner edit starting to emerge!! Hi I'm Johnny. Some of you may know me a a sociopath, others may know me as the nice jewish frat boy, and others know me as the one who harassed Regan and overused VL Confessionals during Tumblr Survivor: Flops, but NONETHELESS..... Your king has arrived! tbh being cast for the season didn't surprise me, because I knew I was getting cast lowkey, but starting the game up and getting to see who is actually in this group of people is pretty stellar, and I'm pleased with it, especially me being on this tribe compared to being on the other tribe. I have started to feel confident in the social relationships that I'm working on, but lemme do a quick rundown ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Going down the line for initial trust) Mr Crooks - Well first off...... the last time we played together was over a year ago, in a little place called Japan, and it did NOT go well for him and I. I thought he was bad at conversations, he didn't want me to have a say, but just kinda vote with him instead, and he got VERY snippy at me when we were talking about getting rid of a villain, I proposed Sarah, and then he ran and told Sarah and almost got me sent home. But since then, Alex and I have become friends, and I think it's really good that we're in this game together. I am essentially going to play like a dickhead and try to make myself a top three person for everyone, and just hope that it can all get me to a swap or the merge, where I can start going wild. Nicole - I love Nicole to death. Another person i very much want to work with. I know the feeling may not be reciprocated, specifically from her boyfriend Jared on the other tribe, who has beef with me from Game Changers, but I am definitely hoping for the best now, and I think that her and I will definitely work together, at least in these early stages. Zach - Zach is one COOL motherfucker. Has a lot of super cool stories to tell, and we spoke a lot when we did 99 bottles together. He and I (and Alex) have been comparing notes for idol searches, so I think he wants to work with me. I can tell he still has some newb in him because he wanted to make a six person alliance with myself, him, Alex, Nicole, Vi and Roxy, but I just don't think a six person alliance is really what is going to help us at this point in the game.... it can only hurt us if certain people are smart enough, and I also don't trust certain people in that group :/ Ruben - Pretty solid dude. Just getting to know him, but he keeps talking about how I'm talking to him more than everyone else, so I'll take it as a win. Our conversations have been pretty one dimensional, but we spoke about who may be the first boot, so I'm not too nervous for THAT now Vilma - Another one I really think I can work well with in this game. She seems like such a nice soul, and I don't see that devilish side to her yet, but I'm sure it's going to come out at one point or another, but she seems very open, and I know doing 99 bottles with her is just going to initially keep me safe with her hopefully. Vi - Vi seems cool. I have been told she's a bit of a floater, I've seen it at times too, but I definitely don't think that she is going to be too much of a force, and if anything, her social game might lack, which can just help my positioning in this initial tribe. Would LOVE to work with Vi, especially dragging as many people who've done well in the past with me as deep as I can to keep other threats around me, but yea.... Vi is cool, and taught me how to make my own sushi, so we rollin Asya - I trust Asya, I want to work with Asya, but what I'm hearing the general consensus is that she isn't talking to people as much. I can agree I don't think our conversations have been STELLAR, but I definitely think we've spoken enough, so idk how everyone else is feeling, but I've heard a mix of Asya and Ricky being the least active... As long as it ain't me Roxy - I only trust Roxy now because I don't think she'd make the stab at me this early, and I'm trying my hardest to make her feel comfortable, werk up this ORG flirt I've got going on, and hope it takes me somewhere. We've played together twice in the past, and both times she has made a stab at me before I was able to make a stab at her, and I'm sure she's thinking the same thing in her mind, but also there are a lot of people who dislike each other and have beef, so hopefully Roxy can see me as a number for as long as possible and not make a move on me Ricky - I like you personally, but you've just been sick this whole time, and apparently you're friends with Roxy according to some people/what I've heard, so idk.... kind of scary, but we'll see what comes of us. I'll start talking to you more soon ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So yea, there's my tribe... I know I like them all as people, which is going to help me spread myself thin within the tribe, I just need to keep reminding myself to not stick my neck out or try to do ANYTHING substantial until later. I've gotta keep my social relationships in tact, I've gotta play the field, lower my status a bit as someone who could be voted out, and just hope for the best. Having an idol in my pocket certainly helps, and with my LOVE of music videos right here, I think I have a chance to get some "This Is Me" redemption, if my tribe actually would rather do that over Immortals, since we literally only have two options because Isaac is a dumb thot. This also spells Andrew all over it bc I gave him an idea similar to this for a season we hosted together, so yea. I blame all the gays. THANKS !!

Regan is kinda annoying me with her woe is me shit, Don't get me wrong I still love her to death, however she's complaining in the tribe chat about every suggestion we make towards the music video, and then she comes crying to my dms about how shes going to get voted out for every little thing she does. She also threatened to quit as well which is really messy imo. Idk if I can stay allied with her for long as I dont want to associate myself with paranoid messes.

I woke up at camp yesterday morning and was PARCHED, just simply like.....dying of thirst. So I decide to go out to the well, and there's a cute little parchment sitting there. It has my name on it and everything so I'm like....it's TREEMAIL FOR ME? JUST ME?? Amazing. So, I open it up and....it's a Legacy ADVANTAGE. I am so hyped honestly, but I have absolutely no faith in me to actually use this correctly in any way shape or form. The names on it are Johnny, Andrew, Crow, Jared, Me. So that means Jared must've found it at Ghost Island and willed it to me BUT, that worries me for him because I feel like people will think he has it and will subsequently vote him out. Which would just leave me feeling guilty because I shot my boyfriend, got him sent to exile, he willed an advantage to me, then his tribe voted him out because of said advantage which I still have.....I love a moral dilemma. I actually hate it. I know if we lose immunity again, the tribe is going to want to send Regan to Ghost Island which means that they will probably 90% vote out Jared. But, then again I don't know the tribe dynamics over there. I should have more faith that Jared can make connections and more faith in him in general. He did make it to 2nd when I've only made it to third. I contemplated throwing this challenge just because I have more faith in Vi or Ruben being at the bottom of our totem pole than Jared being at the bottom of his just because his tribe seems.......not invested enough to think it's a smart strategic decision to literally keep him until merge, use us for numbers but then chuck us away because both of us can't win an individual immunity. But then the challenge was a music video which is virtually impossible to throw and even more impossibly able to do it in a light that's not suspicious. I need to solidify an alliance of some sort or something like...this is too wild. I get how me and Jared can be targeted because of the whole couple thing and the fact that we are um....both kind of amazing at this, not to flex but....we're amazing at strategic thinking it's kind of what we do and just how our minds are built, his moreso than mine. But, like I reaaaaaaaaaaaaallly hope I can allude to some sort of weakness that makes people keep me around much longer and him around much longer again on his tribe. I'm not saying their tribe is gonna lose immunity bc that's cocky but, if it does come down to our tribe flopping at it, I might be set. I think Johnny might try to get me out that little rat. But, besides that I think I would have Asya and Ricky on my side, and maybe even Zach. It's hard because Jared and I are....an inseparable duo. I would literally never vote him out unless he like, asked me to. I know how much he invests in these games and would never do that to him. If that ends up being my downfall, I feel like I can't really be mad about it. Like oops, cared too much about my boyfriend's feelings and got voted out of an online game :// Anyways in terms of the game, the Legacy Advantage is going to stay a secret. I'm not telling a single soul and I have faith in Jared to keep his mouth shut about it too, seeing as though he might know what I've gotten? I doubt it would be randomly given to me and he'd have to have some knowledge if his name is written down on the bottom of it too. So far my order of people I trust (most to least) is Ricky > Johnny > Alex > Roxy > Asya > Zach > Vilma > Ruben > Vilma and I just called Johnny a rat so that's saying something. I just feel like I'm about to get the rug pulled out from under me. Oiy vey.

I cannot believe that Isaac has tailor made the beginning of this game for me. Flag Making challenge? Great. Casanova? My only good flash game. Music Video Challenge? Yeet. I hope my tribe doesn't expect me to pull this much weight, but I think I solidified my spot in the tribe. As long as Regan and Dan never interact with me in this game I think I'm solid.

https://youtu.be/dWtZc9xEfNM

That last vote was the HARDEST and WILDEST vote in Tumblr Survivor history… said no one. As sad as I am that I never really got to know Allison and as concerned as I am that she’s doing alright (we really don’t know), I’m happy she left and we got that out of our system. Hopefully, this will allow us to win and do the damn thing! My only concern is that Samantha self-voted last tribal and that coupled with the fact that her name was on the chopping block somewhat makes me a bit nervous. That being said, this is a case of deja vu that should really just stay in the past. What I mean is that I’ve always been the type of person that looked out for other people and it’s bitten me in the ass. In Bhutan, I took out an alliance member because I valued my friendship with Ari and it ended up getting me out since she was seen as more valuable and I was untrustworthy. In Great Lakes, I gave up the chance at safety at Exile for Emmon to save an ally and it got me taken out since I was also seen as a major threat. Samantha is probably my closest ally here at the moment, but if she’s on a sinking ship, I don’t mind using the only life vest on myself for a change. I think I finally figured out that while I am someone who tries to stay loyal for the most part, if someone is digging themselves a hole during the premerge, you just have to let it happen. Maybe a big part of my unfinished business is minding my own.

(A LITTLE WHILE LATER)

Reward challenges are always a mixed bag as people don’t try as hard since it’s “just a reward” and while that may be true, advantages of any kind in a game like this shouldn’t be taken lightly. Think about it from this perspective, our tribe currently has lost one member and likely to lose another (fax, no printer rip) so if the other tribe wins an idol clue then they have yet another advantage over us. If we swap next round like I think we might, a numbers disadvantage and the likelihood of not having a power just ruins our chances. But anyways, this wasn’t our challenge to win because this game is MESSY and people (coughAlexcough) are good at like everything. But yeah, I just wanted to put that out there cause it was on my mind. Also, I’m super happy that Jared’s back since he and I are pretty close! Although, I wish he would tell me about Ghost Island but I also shouldn’t expect as much this early on. We did talk about potentially making an alliance and who we would want in it and… it was a bit of us not giving out info and thoughts on the game. It makes sense, we’re in the “avoid too much game talk, anyone but me” stage but we did come to a consensus that Ashen is cool and that we both like Samantha and Regan, but it never evolved into anything else. Another challenge loss is likely to change the lack of info though, I’m sure of it.

Ya know what’s fun? Being on a flop tribe. I’m truly enjoying myself. Everyone I hate is on the other tribe so I can’t wait for a swap or merge so I can get picked off quickly :~) hehehehe I love it

i feel like the game is moving slowly because I need to just keeping talking to people, and I'm in no alliances yet, and I'm sure some exist, but I'm just GAH.... I wanna keep winning, but I also wanna swap next round to just get the strategy of the game going ffs Send help to my dying soul

https://youtu.be/mpgD-uqZknI

I like this tribe but they will not shut up. Honestly, it's nonstop. There killing my phone. I don't know how much more I can take.

Imagine being a racist and animal killer sympathizer and supporting the greatest showman?

(AFTER TAKING A WALK TO CALM DOWN)

Honeslee im just over this game hahahahaha. Like everyone else in our video sucked???? I mean I wasn’t like amazing either but like come on. Okay Ashen’s parts were cute. But Regan looked like that spinning Lana Del Rey gif. Besides losing the challenge tonight I got into a fight with both my boyfriend and one of my really good friends. So depression is real sisters. I’m spiraling. Maybe they’ll put me out of my misery tomorrow and Ol Yeller me out back. But until then I’m gonna make like Gabby on survivor David vs Goliath and cry.

So we lost because the judges liked their song choice a lot better, even though their video is a straight rip off from the one in flops. It's just honestly annoying if I'm being completely honest. Oh well I'm in the lowkey alliance with Ash, Augusto, and possibly Sam as well which is an interesting alliance tribe dynamic. I just feel good because the judges complimented me and Ash, and I finally completed a music video challenge! I honestly wish we won because I wanted a night off the stress of everything, but oh well. The first name I'm hearing already is Regan because she is being a mess, and I love her to death but messy players are dangerous in games like these. Still can't believe we lost to a fucking plagarized video its so crappy.

I pushed hard for JG to go to Ghost Island because IF it's anything like the CBS season then whoever is sent to Ghost Island will probably choose a power to be given to someone still in the game and I'm kind of praying that since I had a good relationship with JG while hosting him in Deception he might consider passing me whatever advantage he finds lol

okay so ive gathered there are three pretty inactive people on our tribe: vi, ricky, asya I don't think they're inactive per se, I just think they talk less to certain people, but I know Vi and Roxy are friends, and honestly I consider Asya and I pretty good friends too, so idk... Ruben says if we were to lose he'd wanna vote out Vi because Vi hasn't said a single word to him, so we'll see if that could be swung. It'd keep me safe another day teehee

I have never been more disappointed in competition results in my entire game career. The other tribe completely stole the theme and video and won with it ?? The judges literally picked them bc they love the song and they didn’t know it was stolen. I’m so annoyed and upset that we are having to lose another person, it makes me actually angry too. I’m also annoyed that Jared just like didn’t put me in the video. I sent him so many clips, and he used TWO! And I’ve talked around, he did that with other people too. Dan was the star of the video, so much so that the judges complained about not enough tribe participation. I’m not saying I could do a better editing job, I don’t even have a program to do so, however, I want so badly to ask Jared why the fuck he cut me out so much. I don’t even know who we are voting out this round. Ash came to with me an alliance of augusto and drake, which I love ash and augusto, but last round, ash told me drake was saying my name ?? I agreed of course, but I will be very skeptical of him until I know I can trust him. I wish JG didn’t go to ghost island, he’s the one I would want gone the most, just bc he won’t talk to me ever. I guess Frankie would be my next option for voting out? I love dan and I really wanna work with him. I also confided a lot of stuff in Jared last week, which is why I’m so confused why he didn’t put me in the video. I was wanting to work with him but now I’m not sure. I need to look for the idol before tribal tomorrow. I really hope my self vote last round and my absence in the music video doesn’t somehow target me. It would be a good strategy for Jared if he wanted me to look bad tbh.

Isaac is a racist

ALL AMERICANS SHOULD BE NUKED

so uhhhhhhh I wanna cry because I love all these mfs on my tribe. I don't wanna vote out anyone. other than think I THINK IM SAFE tonight because I have augstuo, drake, and sam in an alliance. but like no one is really safe. I don'td knownimmfucking high we are thinking reagan or frankie. personally, I'm thinking reagan because she scares the frick outta me. but I guess we will c

We're swapping tonight and Crooks is going to be on a tribe with Dan...... watch it happen L O L

Those judges sucked. Like wtf was that idk bruh Also I really like Jared and Augusto and can. But I already knew the latter 2. I think,its gonna be frankie and I like Frankie so that sucks. But I like everyone. Tbh it would be smart to vote jared out but you know whatever. I chose to work with him though because I like Nicole so

I’m in a tribe of stars. Cept if I were to make this metaphor they’re all long dead. Unless one is the sun. That’s the winner. I just want to be Pluto ;-;

The game is getting more difficult now that I am faced with going to tribal council. But I know I'm the smartest player on this tribe so I'll be able to figure it out. I went through 10 different phases of thought at work today, but I played my ass off to position myself so let me just date my perspective at this moment- 6 pm, before the 2nd tribal council, November 30th. Here, I'll try to paint a picture of the dynamic. -the nucleus of the tribe **/Dan and Regan's relationship -outer layer **/myself, Augusto, Sam -secret trio (weak trust level) **/myself, JG, Drake -Frankie and Ashen solo-dolo Dan initially floated Drake's name out, but I knew I didn't want that. I chose to bide my time, and everyone was slow to the trigger in terms of suggesting a name. I spent the day heavily cultivating every single relationship, except for Augusto who was not around much. This is fine because our bond is already quite strong. I really worked from the shadows today. I intentionally pressed Drake's insecurities and instilled confidence in him to throw out a name, without ever alluding to someone saying his name. I don't want to give anyone info until I need to, and I don't want anything being traced back to me. I got as much info as I could from Drake. He said prior to my conversation with him, he tossed around the idea of voting Frankie to a few people, and that they responded well. I waited to scout out if it would get back to me. Surely enough, Regan messages me about it. I really leaned into a proposed partnership in this game with Regan. It's unsettling because she can be a loose cannon. We'll see how that goes. I reaffirmed that it is not a bad move to vote Frankie, and slowly the name started to spread. I tried my best to lock it down with everyone without showing a bias. I called with Regan for a bit. I just want her, along with everyone else, to feel as good about me as possible. At this hour it looks like Frankie will be evicted. Things change quickly though. Trust Rankings: 1. Sam (she dangerous tho) 2. Augusto 3. Regan 4. Dan 5. Drake 6. JG 7. Frankie 8. Ashen

Shocker, we lost the immunity challenge! It should be my catchphrase at this point… but anyway, I’m sad we lost and I kind of thought we wouldn’t but not all things can go my way. A lot has happened over the past two days and I feel like I might be at the center of it all in some aspects? Firstly, Ash approached me about an alliance with me, Ash, and Drake which surprised me if I’m honest because Drake and I talk but I didn’t think he’d want to work with me and then I’m also surprised they are close it seems. Furthermore, we added Samantha to our alliance and it is something I’m super happy about since Samantha and I are super close. The only dilemma I have is that I am working with Dan, Jared, Regan, and Frankie as well and that’s basically the entire tribe minus JG, who was conveniently sent to Ghost Island. I love being social and whatnot, but these are the times where I wish I wasn’t AS social. Honestly, I’ve been trying to be more lowkey about it as well like leaving people on seen or going a day without a chat… but even then I can’t seem to make it work. It’d be a shame if my unfinished business remains unfinished if I’m seen as a social threat and am taken out because of it. So yeah, now that JG is away from the tribe I have to choose between people I can work with. In the alliance chat, Ash suggested we voted off Regan which is something I wasn’t super happy about because Regan and I are close and have the same enemies per se (ie. Johnny) and Drake thankfully suggested Frankie lowkey. Frankie is someone who I adore, but he’s too lowkey to ever really work with I think? Plus it makes the most sense to me since he is so quiet and it would be easier to keep tribe unity and not expose me as a player, which is why I tried to push for it somewhat. After we came to that consensus however, the info about Frankie being the target wasn’t given from me to others and that makes me seem lowkey as well (Regan and others told ME that Frankie was the target as if I didn’t know, which is cool). My only hope is that once JG comes back, he stays on our tribe if we lose again so he can be voted out and I can save face with everyone else. We love a complicated game (‘:

OKAY I SWEAR I'M GOING TO WRITE A CONFESSIONAL SOON I'M REALLY BUSY RIGHT NOW SORRY SORRY SORRY