#i have heard men say that irl

[hayatheauthor]

I don't get why people praise toxic femininity, wasn't this whole thing about not putting down either gender??

That isn't feminism that's toxic femininity and I'm tired of men presuming the two are the same mindset. Our gender fought decades for equal rights and you go and undo that by saying it's really a fight to reverse the roles.

It does not help. Maybe it's a joke to you but the internet is vast and accessible even by kids who unfortunately see influencers as role models. We need to educate kids to respect and appreciate both genders not hate each other and put them down.

[mithliya]

you're both pointing at each other and saying "no YOUR problems are online and MINE are real. so if lesbians / bi women say something mean, that's bad but it's probably in retribution."

lesbians IN REAL LIFE have called me a "dick riding spicy straight" or told me that they hope a man abuses me when they found out i'm bi. i've seen bi women IN REAL LIFE call butch lesbians gross and mannish or bring up that fake DA stat to claim lesbians are predatory. acting like either of these are only online, or only in response to the other side being so much worse? it's just straight up false, nothing is so black and white.

you worded that post in an extremely loaded and inflammatory way and then are using people getting rightfully peeved as "proof" to back up your claim that all bi women are actually homophobes. it's not conducive to a productive discussion.

amazingly what i have said is terms like “cumguzzlers” being spewed by lesbians and goldstar discourse are things ive only seen online, not that no lesbian ever has ever said discriminatory things about bisexual women irl 😭 but i’m glad after several posts where i said i don’t doubt theres lesbians who have prejudiced beliefs about bi women irl, you decided to overlook that to get offended at me calling goldstar discourse and terms like “cumguzzling handmaiden” online things 🤗

[therevengeoffrankenstein]

step 1: post "'we're pretty boys for secret girls' from 'austin, we have a problem' by fall out boy is a trans coded lyric."

step 2: turn phone on vibrate

step 3: ....

[keefechambers]

I wanna be blunt about this ongoing James somerton suicide threat issue but I don't want to connect it to my IRL Twitter to comment on the dogshit takes I'm seeing there or the good and well meaning but maybe too kind takes I'm seeing here.

Obviously, I hope that this is a false alarm cry for help fake threat. Yes, it would reinforce that Somerton is a self-centered egomaniac who can't handle consequences but that's preferable to dead.

But I work in local news and let me tell you something. I've covered half a dozen family annihilating murder suicides and heard hundreds of men making suicide threats over police scanners and a huge swath of these don't happen because they're depressed or because people are mean to them on the Internet. They're punishment. A person with an enormous amount of entitlement towards people around them gets backed into a corner and they punish the people closest to them by killing themselves or threatening to kill themselves.

No one wants to talk about this feature of suicide because...you want to help people who are struggling and guide them away from this path and being blunt about the fact that sometimes people die of suicide as a consequence of their own shittiness towards the world does not really help actively suicidal people. But suicide rates are higher in men not just because they have higher rates of untreated mental illness (a societal issue we must address for the sake of all) but because some people, often men, use suicide (but more often the threat of suicide) as a tool of abuse and control.

I'm not saying somerton is like, an icky abuser bad guy, he's just a run of the mill grifter scumbag, but his actions in the past show a clear pattern of escalating behavior that aligns with this.

Somerton gets called out -> somerton alleges physical threats of violence against himself and his fans rally around him supportively -> Harry calls somerton out in a bigger way -> Somerton says he's hospitalized but there are inconsistencies with the story but no one wants to talk about that because you wanna be nice-ish about a guy who just tried to kill himself and now he's trying to be framed as tragic but it doesn't really stick -> somerton apologizes again but his apology is rightly called out for lies and manipulative framing as well as his continuing attempts to profit off the community he betrayed -> James posts a suicide note publicly putting the onus of his own suicide on the loss of his friend Nick who he repeatedly threw under the bus and now everyone is rallying to say nice-ish shit and wring their hands in concern over poor james -> indefinitely repeat this vicious cycle forever until he actually does die or finally gives up and gets real, intensive therapy and a day job.

Thats not to say anyone's concern is misplaced, it's 100% better for him to be a living scumbag than a dead one. He deserves the chance to grow and learn and have a life outside of youtube.

But you don't have to portray this as the action of a sad depressed man who got bullied off the Internet. It's manipulation, whether he intended to go through with it or not and whether someone intervened or not. Not denying that internet bullying is a thing, I'm sure there were some people who were shitty directly to James but he made the choice to not unplug from this and to try and keep being a public figure rather than taking care of himself. He could have deleted Twitter, blocked anyone who was an asshole, gone to therapy and tried to move on with his life but if he'd deleted his channel he'd have lost monetization... Can't have that, right? So he posts some apology videos so his channel stays active and then complains about how ruinous this is while never trying to take real accountability.

But the reality is that people would have forgotten about him so quickly and maybe his job prospects would've been impacted but...that's on him, and that's for him to figure out but it's not actually life ruining. He chose to continue to engage knowing he'd get backlash and hate and he'd feel worse and worse and things would never get better without the time and space for people to forget.

He made the choice to make a public spectacle of his own alleged suicide. That is the action of someone who wants to put the weight of their suicide on someone else's shoulders and is morally wrong. He can be held to account for that, alive or dead.

[naguaraquerandom]

.

[bamfkeeper]

Anger.

RQ: 'Heard that ur taking requests ! Love your work and the writing is great ! I was wondering if you could do reader x Kurt where reader is opposite of Kurt. Anger issues less understanding etc and has a mutation where they have two sets of wings and eyes ? So like really arch angel type of stuff but a real sinner. Being the other half then Kurt <3 have a great day and remember to drink water !' - @toxic-chainsaw-666

Pairing: Kurt Wagner x GN!reader // Warnings: None

A/N: I was actually really happy to write this rq because I tend to have some anger problems irl. I've always imagined how he'd be with someone who's less understanding and more hostile than him, so this was really fun! Written as a collection of hcs.

Kurt is known as being the sweetheart of the group of X-Men, his heart of gold and aversion to violence, (unless absolutely necessary), makes him well liked by everyone. There isn't a single mutant who doesn't like to strike up conversation with him, he makes everyone feel welcome.

That's why when he began dating you...it rose a few eyebrows.

Your reputation was quite the opposite. Hot-headed, short tempered, aggressive...to name a few.

You were not very approachable, sometimes vulgar, and you had a habit of snapping at people before you spoke civilly.

Kurt tried his approach, your first instinct was to yell, but he just seemed so...sweet, so you found yourself holding back. His presence felt better than everyone else's, no judgement in his eyes.

He'd have a knack of calming you down too, or helping you cool off better than other people might. His presence helps your nerves a lot.

When you get angry, your appearance shows your extra features, which often makes others wary and scared. Kurt is never really bothered, he just does what he can to help soothe you.

He doesn't want you to be ashamed of yourself, he never makes you feel bad for being the way you are, he knows you can't help it. But he does try to guide you into reacting to things a bit better, just so you don't get yourself into trouble.

He would never try to change who you are though, he respects you enough to know that.

You both had very different ways of reacting to situations, your personalities were black and white, but somehow mixed together okay. You balanced one another out.

Sometimes you worry about religious differences too, since you feel like a sinner a lot, because you are, and Kurt's Catholicism is very important to him. He comforts you though, he offers support and guidance for you.

If someone is bad to him, he will forgive and forget. You will not. You will make sure that person apologizes, even if you have to hold them up by their collar and force them to.

Your first instinct is to fight or choose a physical way to solve a problem, Kurt tends to try to talk things out instead. You two vary that way, but it's a funny combination to see.

"Liebling, no need for such violence, they bumped into me by accident," Kurt says gently after you threaten to hurt someone quite graphically.

You scowl back and cross your arms, while Kurt worries about your impulsivity, he does find your passion quite endearing, even if he doesn't agree with your methods.

You're the one to ask a food worker for no pickles on Kurt's order while he stays behind you shyly.

He's the one who often apologizes for your attitude, but also uses you as a back up, he gains confidence because of you. He knows you always have his back no matter what. You are his 'scary dog privilege.'

You both love one another despite the obvious differences you have. You both bring out the best in one another, and you support the other's weakness.

Opposites certainly attract.

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

Dividers by @/adornedwithlight

[gloomwitchwrites]

Locker Room: Simon's POV

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female Reader

Content & Warnings: swearing, possessive behavior, unprotected piv (wrap it up irl), dirty thoughts, multiple creampie

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: originally for @glitterypirateduck 's Ghost Writing Challenge, this is Simon's POV follower parts ONE & Two of Locker Room.

A/N(2): Remember how I said I was in the emergency room and have been feeling like absolute shit? Well I slept for 48 hours and I felt well enough to write this. Enjoy!

Part One // Part Two

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist

A bloke shouldn’t have his wank interrupted in the shower.

Simon had been in his head, his hand around his cock, stroking himself to the image of the woman he’s been thinking about for the last few fucking months.

He had heard the silence first, all the banter in the locker room ceasing. That pulled him right out of it, and in seconds Simon stepped out of the shower with a towel around his hips. Your voice drifted in, demanding an audience with him.

And he knew why.

He left that little note on purpose.

The reports are just fine, sweetheart.

Simon wanted to rile you up, to push you a bit, but he didn’t think you’d barge into the men’s locker room just to confront him.

When he appeared, and everyone cleared out, Simon didn’t expect such fire from you. He thought you would fold. That with one look you’d melt into him, but you did the opposite. And then you grabbed him by the fucking dog tags and kissed him.

Simon was done for.

The moment you left, he returned to that shower and jerked himself so fast it almost hurt. He had to have you, but Simon wasn’t going to go after you right then. He made himself wait, and that was the hardest fucking part. Simon desired nothing more than to follow you out of that locker room, toss you over his shoulder, and carry you off.

He’s glad he waited. Simon took you in your office, and yet it wasn’t enough. Not for either of you. Worse, Simon could tell that you were going to end it right then, leave everything nice and tidy. And Simon wasn’t having that.

Now, you’re here, in his home.

Naked. Bare. Skin glossy with sweat. Pussy full of his cum.

You’re fucking beautiful like this, and the sounds you make are even sweeter.

With arms outstretched against the bed, you arch your back, pushing your ass up into the air. Simon fills his hands with those perfect cheeks. He squeezes, leans forward, and gently bites, pulling forth a moan from your lips that goes straight to his dick.

You’ve been milking him all fucking night. You keep demanding more, and Simon is happy to give it. He doesn’t want to go into work. He wants to stay right here. With you. In his bed.

With your knees digging into the top of the bed, you spread them a bit, exposing your pussy to Simon. He cannot help himself when he sees the mess he’s made there. Removing one hand from your ass, Simon runs his fingers over your slick pussy. The sound of his fingers sliding through you invades the room, and it is all Simon can focus us.

It’s a gorgeous sight. A gorgeous sound.

“You want more, love?” asks Simon gently.

His gaze sweeps over your body as his fingers play with your pussy. You shiver, inhale sharply, and then moan a reply that sounds like an agreement. You’re almost twitching with need. You can’t stay still. Every part of you is asking for more, opening for him, but Simon needs to hear those sweet words on your lips.

“Tell me,” he says again, this time leaning over your body to grasp your face and turn your gaze on him. “Tell me what you want.”

“I want you inside me, Simon.” You’re begging, almost pleading, and Simon will happily oblige.

Gently, Simon releases you from his hold, only to press you into the position he wants. You’re flat on your stomach as Simon runs his hands up and down your back. It’s a soothing gesture, but it’s mostly to comfort you than him.

Simon is burning beneath his skin. He desperately wants to be inside you, but he also knows that he’s exhausted you, and while you’re not entirely satiated, he doesn’t want you to push it.

His hands fall upon your hips. Simon eases them up a bit, urging your thighs apart with his knees. You comply, and the obedience is delicious to him. You’re demanding—full of fire—and yet for him, you’re melting before his eyes. It’s so different from the Locker Room and from your office.

Slowly, Simon drapes himself over you, flexing his hips back to line the head of his cock up to your entrance. The moment he starts to push in, you groan loudly, body starting to lift from the bed. But Simon relaxes his weight, trapping you beneath him. He props himself up on his left elbow and forearm. While is other hand pressed into the bed next to your waist.

There is no escape. You cannot wiggle out from under him or even buck against him. Simon likes it like this. Like you beneath him. Likes you sweaty. Panting. Begging.

Simon retreats and thrusts forward, sliding in to the hilt. Even now, you’re so fucking tight it’s smashing his brain into mush. He needs to fucking control himself, to make this pleasurable for you as much as it is for him.

He starts slow, finding a rhythm that has you moaning in just the way he likes. It’s almost a tell. Even now, Simon is reading your signals.

Simon brushes his lips against the curve of your shoulder. His tongue darts out to taste the salt. “You’ve been so good for me,” he murmurs. “Taking me well all night.”

“Simon,” you groan as he hits that sweet spot.

Simon grins against your shoulder blade. His hand slips from the bed to slide underneath your body. With each stroke, Simon stimulates your clit. He doesn’t change pace. He knows better. Soon you’re melting. Shaking. Each breath of yours quickening until it’s a guttural groan that even has Simon questioning his sanity.

You vibrate and shake. There is victory on Simon’s tongue. He slips his hand from beneath your body only to tangle it in your hair. He holds firm and then he rocks his hips faster, grunting his own need out above you until his lower-half tenses, and then he’s gasping, his release flooding your pussy.

Simon almost collapses.

He is worn out. Fucking tired. How many times have the two of you fucked tonight? At least five. And this might just be the last of the evening.

Simon runs his hand over your hip and waist only to dip to your stomach. With one fluid motion, Simon curls onto his side, bringing you to rest against his chest. Brushing your hair out of face, Simon kisses a trail from the curve of your shoulder to your lips.

You greet him with a smile.

Simon’s hand roams upward, only to lightly wrap around the front of your neck. You do not protest or push back at this, and something primal within Simon awakens.

This is not a one-time thing for him. You are his, and if that means he needs to mark his territory, he fucking will. Any man at work that even looks at your wrong is dead.

Well—not dead. But Simon will make damn sure they know to back the fuck off.

You’re his. Even if you haven’t agreed. Even if you haven’t decided anything.

You are not walking away.

This isn’t over.

taglist:

@km-ffluv @tiredmetalenthusiast @miaraei @cherryofdeath @sapphichotmess

@saoirse06 @haven-1307 @ferns-fics @spicyspicyliving @lialacleaf

@unhinged-reader-36 @miss-mistinguett @ravenpoe67 @tulipsun-flower

@sageyxbabey @cod-z @keiva1000 @littlemisscriesherselftosleep @umno-yeah

@mudisgranapat @ninman82 @webmvie @blackhawkfanatic @contractedcriteria

@talooolaaloolla @rogerrhqpsody @sadlonelybagel @cinnabeanz @aykxz98

@lulurubberduckie @leed-bbg @daemondoll @iloveslasher @yawning-grave81

@voids-universe @itsberrydreemurstuff @azkza @ash-tarte @sammysinger04

@certainlygay @soapyreaper @hantheconqueror @dakotakazansky @jaggersinclair

@suhmie @kidd3ath @lovely-ateez @marispunk

[lycandrophile]

Songs sung in T voices? You mean just regular male voices because trans men are men

imagine being so miserable that you see a post about trans joy and pride in transmasculinity and the first thing you think is “i’m going to find a way to see this as transphobia instead”.

i have a t voice. my voice is distinctly different from most cis men’s voices in a way that a lot of other trans people’s voices are distinctly different after being on t. a lot of us have voices with a unique quality to them. the claim that me, a trans man with a t voice, talking about voices like mine somehow implies that my own gender isn’t real…is just fucking wild, honestly.

i think t voices are BEAUTIFUL. i love them so much, having my own voice sound like that was genuinely one of the things i was the most excited about when i started t because to me, that voice is the kind i heard when i watched videos made by other trans guys that taught me about what was possible for me and met other trans guys irl for the first time and got advice on transitioning or just life from them. it’s such a comforting sound and so important to me.

nothing about recognizing that distinctive quality implies that trans men aren’t real men. i have a t voice just like i have a deep voice, a quiet voice, a tonally expressive voice — it’s just a descriptor for one of many things that can make a voice unique. my voice is a “male voice” and it’s also a t voice because i’m a man whose voice has been affected by going on t in a distinctive way. the two aren’t in any way at odds with each other.

if i described my chest as a post-op chest, would you come into my inbox saying “you mean just a regular male chest?” i have a feeling you probably wouldn’t because on some level, even you get that talking about unique parts of living in a trans body doesn’t invalidate who we are. it’s fine if you personally wouldn’t want to describe your voice that way because it makes you dysphoric or isn’t applicable to your voice or isn’t as meaningful to you, but that doesn’t mean it’s morally incorrect for me to do so.

trans bodies are wonderful. visible (or in this case, audible) transness is wonderful. it’s not a bad thing to have features that are distinctively trans, and having those features doesn’t make you less of a man. we don’t have to reject our transness or be exactly like cis men to be real men because cis manhood isn’t the gold standard, it’s just one of many ways to be a man.

(also, not everyone who goes on t is a trans man, so not every t voice is a male voice. it’s funny how the people who get mad at me for being proud of my t voice are always the same ones who have really gender essentialist and binaristic views on transitioning.)

so no, i don’t mean “regular male voices”, i mean fucking t voices because that was a post about unashamed in-your-face proud transmasculinity, not transmasculinity that tries to make itself indistinguishable from cis manhood. please keep your assimilationist bullshit away from my trans joy, thank you very much.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

This is complaining day because I realized there's more than one thing that got on my nerves lately and it's not just about the treatment of a kpop idol's mother. Let's begin.

Please, stop refering to Jungkook's mother as mama Jeon. I know the tendency is to ignore so many of the cultural differences that exist, but in SK, people don't change their surname after marriage. It just sounds idiotic and westernized in a ridiculous way.

So, Jungkook's mother loves all BTS members. She LOVES them all. How does army know that? How? I'm genuinely curious and genuinely asking. Because they say it as a certainty. Or, forgive me if my memory is faulty as well, but the only instance that we as outsiders were privy to in which we heard that woman speak for the first time, it was in early 2021 on another phonecall with Jungkook when she said I love you to Jimin.

Of course, the same ot7 narrative came as a buldozer at that time too. Damn, does that mean Jimin = BTS? Sometimes yes, but only when Army wants to diminish Jimin's importance and doesn't allow him to stand out individually too much. Musically or otherwise. But back to this Big Love that Jungkook's mom is supposedly feeling for everyone and which has been invoked once again when that woman mentioned Jimin twice while talking to Jungkook on the phone. Cause she already knew they were in Jeju. I bet she didn't have to find out randomly from a schedule group chat.

So what happens? An assumption is turned into certainty because of small people being extremely insecure. Because they see that one person is once again given more importance on a personal level and we can't have that. No sir! So in a panic, they tweet, they post on tumblr, tiktok, youtube the old age, boring af, sounding like a broken record sentence: "Mama Jeon loves all seven". Fuck me gently with a chainsaw cause that sounds a lot better than the feeling of throwing up I get whenever I read such things.

No, she doesn't love all of them. That is not a fact. It could be true and it's not impossible. But it is not a fact based on the knowledge we have at the moment.

Also, it shows once again that an entire fandom is actively creating a reality of their own which is not even like some sort of simulacrum of the reality they must live through. In Army world, the mother of one member of a k-pop group must love all the members of such group. It doesn't matter than irl, our mothers a lot of the times don't even like all our friends, besties or partners. We might have the most incredible connections and it would mean nothing to our mothers.

In that same vein, another narrative that makes me want to pull my eyes out is the "awww, their bond is to die for, they are (like) siblings after all". Do any of them never had any siblings? Never saw other people and their relationship with their siblings? Or with their family?

I also had to read (which was followed by me blocking it immediately) how Jimin and Jungkook's relationship is the sum of the other relationships they have with other BTS members. I mean, why would I have any sort of expectations from any of these people when they are completely incapable of looking at JM and JK as actual people. As persons with individual minds and an intellect of their own. Let alone the fact that their world does not stop with the presence of 5 other men. In what realistic scenario does this translate in real life? That's not how it works. Yes, we are social creatures and a product of our surroundings, but it is not in the way in which these stans believe it to be. They think that living in a dorm for a few years and working together with other people, it means that those experiences are the only ones that actually shape the personality of a person. They are real people, not fictional characters. I've never heard such ridiculous theories in my entire life, to be used as talking points about someone's behavior or relationship with another person.

Maybe the need to create this elaborate fantasy comes from the lack of love in their life, which then gets projected into this Disney, kumbaya, capitalist heaven narrative in which everyone is a big family and they love each other so much and equally and all the parents of all the children love every single member and thus, harmony is created. Love is always platonic and ever present. The complexity of human relationships must not exist.

[genderqueerdykes]

Okay, so I've been a lesbian for a while and don't know some of the terminology, and I'm kinda confused on how men can be lesbians (specifically cis men). Mostly cause I've never heard anyone talk about it before, adding a long I also have a question. So could I still identify as a lesbian if I find myself attracted to men or masc presenting people? I've seen people say you can't so yea! (Sorry if this doesn't make sense or if I came off as rude)

hello there!

the argument that lesbians can't be men is transphobic, intersexist, gender essentialist, exorsexist and a lot of other very exhausting and historically inaccurate ways. it has nothing to do with real lesbianism but rather rad fems and political lesbians online trying to turn the lesbian community into a "girls only" club where they can shit on men and be transphobic and toxic

people love to jump to the assumption that i'm taking about cis men first and foremost, which i'm not- although i genuinely don't care if a cis man identifies as a lesbian i'm not a cop and you shouldn't be, either. we all need to collectively kill the cops in our minds. no, this will not create an influx of "cishet men invading lesbian spaces." cishet men can literally already choose to identify as lesbians if they want to and they literally do not. most cishet men are lesbophobic and disgusted by irl lesbians and only find lesbianism attractive in porn. if cishet men wanted to lesbians, they already would be. also again, i'm not a cop, so it's not my business if a cis man does identify for any reason as a lesbian. if that concept makes one uncomfortable, they can choose to ignore that person.

this is not the conversation we're having, so it's best to realize that there's a far deeper issue here.

the people who tell you lesbians can't be men are specifically targeting butch lesbians, transmascs, ftm, trans men, trans male, bigender, multigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, and genderfuck lesbians. lesboys, boydykes, lesbians who are non binary, lesbians who don't have a gender, lesbians who are men only, lesbians who are two spirit, butches who are men. these are all people who have been in the lesbian community all along, and this is who is being targeted. anyone who tells you a lesbian cannot be a man is either a rad fem or someone who has been indoctrinated by one, or someone who is very confused and ill informed at best

butchphobia is heavily linked to this behavior. many butch lesbians are women and women only and that's a legitimate expression of butchhood, but MANY and i mean many butches throughout history have been transmascs and trans men, or have been men in other capacities, such as trans women who are also men, and other multigender people.

bigender people exist in every identity. id on't know why people conveniently love to just forget about this when it comes to the argument of lesbian men. it's not just you, i get this sentiment all the time. we need to realize that multigender people exist. we need to collectively accept that genderfluid and genderqueer and genderfuck people exist and they can be lesbians, too. many butch lesbians are literally men and it's not right to kick them out of the community. please remember that the "lesbians can only be women and only if they're cis and not Too Butch" mindset directly stems from lesbian separatism and political lesbianism. i'd suggest researching those topics, they were at their peak in the 1980s and 90's in the United States and caused a lot of damage that we're still seeing the ripples from

lesbians shouldn't have to get some kind of extra or approval to be men. i really just don't get this mindset. you have to ask yourself why this even matters to begin with. it doesn't. it's not harming anyone else for a lesbian to be a man. if you're not attracted to them you don't have to be. if you are attracted to them, it doesn't invalidate your lesbianism. bigender, multigender, non binary, genderfluid, genderfuck, gnc, intersex, trans, and other gender variant people shouldn't be banned from the lesbian community for no reason.

also i keep begging people to do so but please research the life and identity of Leslie Feinberg. zie was a polygender butch lesbian who did identify as a man. i repeat this phrase a lot but if you don't know who zie is, your knowledge of lesbian history of very limited. lesie was a very prolific activist for lesbian and trans rights, as well as many other important issues. leslie wasn't some random tumblruser or what have you, there are people who have existed well outside of the bounds of this website who have identified as lesbian men. this phenomenon is not new, it's not relegated to the internet, and it's not something that people should have never heard of before.

i suggest researching lesbian history outside of tumblr. i'm one of the few who isn't, but most of the popular bloggers in the lesbian community on here is proudly transphobic as fuck. when they say "I'M A LESBIAN, MEN DNI!!!!!!" they are PROUDLY showing their transphobia. a lesbian who is bigender, multigender, non binary, transmasc, genderfluid, and so on is trans. this is transphobia. this is lesbophobia. lesbians can be men whether or not it makes an individual comfortable. there are also trans women who are... also men. we can't keep allowing this to be a "threat". we are killing our own when we do this

i'm glad you took the time to ask. i get heated on this issue, so this is a rather passionate response because i'm just outright sick of people acting like the idea of a lesbian identifying a man is somehow unheard of. lesbians are well known for being some of the most genderfucked people in the queer community. we struggle with gender our entire lives due to the expectations and stressors placed on our shoulders, as well as who we are on the inside. it will never unheard of for lesbians to be genderqueer.

i hope this helps somewhat. if you have any more questions feel free to ask. i will continue talking about this until people understand that lesbian men are not a threat to anyone. manhood belongs in lesbianism whether or not that makes you or anyone else uncomfortable. it's an experience that will continue to happen no matter what people have to say in conjecture and theory- lesbian men will continue to show up to lesbian and other pride meetings. we will continue to talk and write about our experiences. and the world will keep turning as a result. the sun will rise again. and no one was hurt simply by the existence of some lesbians being men.

[bitchesuntitled]

Broken Hearts Mended

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader, Joel Miller x F!Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+ Minors, get out! Language(at this rate, just expect it. That's just me), Pregnancy, Dieter trying to fix his past, sad!Dieter, dad!Dieter, smut, pinv, oral(m!recieving), wedding crasher!Dieter, TIME TRAVEL, OFC

a/n: This is for the Roll-A-Trope Challenge by @burntheedges I got Time Travel! Never dabbled with that before but it was fun and sheesh, Kate- this is the longest story I've ever written! This could be considered a part two of Some Broken Hearts Never Mend but can be read as a standalone! The OFC is based off my bestie IRL @hessofather - thank you for being you, for helping me with the witchy stuff, and love ya bitch! Thank you @beefrobeefcal and @jay-zzle(for the moodboard &) for your eyes on this one! Love you both!

Masterlist||AO3

dividers by @saradika-graphics

He’d been staring at the clock for an eternity or what felt like an eternity. Today was the day, the day Dieter’s been dreading since he found out. 

Today is your wedding day.

In typical Hollywood fashion, a friend of a friend let it slip when the wedding was. Saturday afternoon, 3 pm to be exact. Mark was supposed to be on standby to ensure Dieter stayed at home today and didn’t do something stupid, but what Mark didn’t expect was to be locked in the pantry with Dieter sitting outside.

“Dieter, come on man,” Mark pleaded, “Think about this before you do something dumb.”

“Would it really be that bad if I went?!”

“Yes,” Mark sighed, “Dieter, you need to let her go. If you go to that hotel all that will happen is you make a fool of yourself and embarrass her!”

“Embarrass her?!” Dieter scoffs, looking at the closed door with offense. “I got sober for fucks sake! For her and she didn’t even let me see my kid! Instead that bastard is playing daddy to my Lexi! My peanut!”

“Dieter!” Mark shouts, slamming his fists against the door, “Let me out and let’s talk face-to-face about this.”

“Sheesh Mark, calm down,” Dieter says, glancing at the clock, “If I go, maybe she’ll see me and remember how much she loved me. I gotta try right?”

“Dieter, please,” Mark sighs, “Don’t do this. It’s not a good idea.”

“I have to try, Mark.”

“Damn it, Dieter!”

More punches are being thrown at the pantry door as Dieter slowly backs away from it.

“If I don’t try now, I’m just going to spend the rest of my life wondering what if!” Dieter shouts, “Mark, you gotta understand that man.”

—

Dieter was able to bribe a waiter into letting him in through the kitchen, he had tried the front but the hotel staff quickly guided him right back through the front door. The place was gorgeous, decked in all navy blue, gold, and white, and the flower petals spread down the aisle he stood in front of. Joel is standing next to the officiant, fiddling with the gold cufflinks on his wrists. The bridal song began and everyone looked back at Dieter.

He stood there frozen, unsure of what to do until he heard the door behind him open, he turned slowly. There you were, standing before him in a gorgeous flowy white gown.

“Dieter?” You asked, confusion painted across your face before it turned into a silent rage.

“I- I need-“ he began, trying to think of what to say.

“Jesus Christ,” your father muttered under his breath before shouting for security.

“Wait-“ Dieter gasped, as two men in suits grabbed his arms pulling him towards the hall, “Please! Let me just ha-“

“Wait!,” you shout panicked, before clearing your throat, “Sorry everyone,” you announce, “Let me just take care of this real quick then we’ll be ready to get this wedding started.”

Dieter was dumbfounded. You were actually going to listen to him. You wanted to hear what he had to say. He knew it! He still had a chance. You let go of your dad’s arm and looped it around Dieter’s, leading him out into the hallway with a polite reassuring smile to your guests.

In another life, this would be the way it went. You in your gorgeous wedding dress, walking down an aisle on his arm, smiling politely to your guests before he whisked you away to ravish you the entire night. Once the doors closed, you stepped away from him clearing your throat.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing here?” You hiss, the rage in you tipping over its boiling point.

“I wanted to-“ he starts softly before you interrupt him again.

“Wanted what Dieter?!” You seethe, “Did you not feel it was enough when you showed up at my home? My work? Lexi’s fucking school?”

“I didn’t think-“ he winces, knowing immediately those are the wrong words with the laugh you let out.

“No Dieter, you didn’t fucking think,” you scoff, “You’ve spent the past six years not fucking thinking and it’s shown plenty!”

“Baby-“ Dieter tries again.

“Don’t you dare call me that!” You stop him, “Dieter, you need to leave. I’m marrying Joel and Lexi finally has a dad who wants her and loves her.”

“But I do love her,” Dieter says, tears blurring his vision, “That’s why I stayed away from you both. I love you both so much, I didn’t want you wrapped up in my shit and I’m trying to change!”

You shake your head with a sigh.

“You just have to give me another chance,” he whimpers, the tears steadily falling down his face.

“No,” you say quietly, “You’ve had enough chances.”

—

You were officially done with his shit and let him know he’d be hearing from your lawyers on Monday. His heart broken, his mind felt numb, and Dieter’s legs began to move. He felt like pins and needles were pricking all over his skin, trying to ignore the feeling, he began to speed up. He’d be fine as long as he kept moving. His chest felt like there was a weight on it, trying to catch his breath.

He needed to find somewhere with air conditioning, maybe it’s the heat finally getting to him. Standing outside a store called Vixen’s. Huh, he thought, a sex shop would be the perfect way to distract his mind. A dinging sound chimes as he enters the store.

“Good afternoon!” A cheery feminine voice calls out from the back, “I’ll be right with you.”

Dieter stood next to a counter, focusing on his breathing. The place smelled like sage, rose, and lavender. This was definitely not a sex shop. His hands held onto the counter in front of him as he closed his eyes and took in the sweet aroma of the shop. Whatever it was, it was working to help calm him down.

“Sir?” A feminine voice called out to him, “Ya alright?”

Dieter looked towards the voice to see a short woman with auburn hair standing next to a door that stated Employees Only. He gave a short nod, signaling he was okay. He just had to focus on his breathing.

“Fuck!” She gasped, flailing her hands in the air, “It’s you! C’mere!”

“Huh?” Dieter asked in confusion, trying to catch his breath.

“C’mere!” She said more sternly, motioning for him to follow her, “Been expectin’ you to show up any day now and you’re finally here!”

Dieter began to follow the stranger apprehensively down a hall, passing multiple doors, as she began to talk more.

“The names’ Willow Vixen. Now that you’re here, maybe I can finally stop using the rose.” She states, wrinkling her nose, “Not my favorite but that’s what the ball suggested for your arrival. Considering it doesn’t give me much of a time frame I figured fuck it and just started making sure it was around at all times.”

“Ball?” Dieter asks, his legs taking over, continuing to follow Willow until they meet a door that has her name on it, “I’m sorry but do I know you?”

“Not yet, Dieter,” Willow hums, grabbing a key ring from her belt loops, and unlocking the door, “When we get inside I’ll explain.”

Once she opened the door, he was hit with a powerful smell of sage and rosemary. She ushered him in, closing the door behind her.

“Sit,” she commanded, pointing to a table in the middle of the room.

He wasn’t sure what he was even doing here. Following a stranger into some back room of a store sounded like the beginnings of some ritual sacrifice and by the way her office was set up, it looked like it, too.

The room was dim before Willow fluttered about lighting candles while humming, beginning to shed more light on her space. He could see a table covered in an emerald green cloth with four chairs surrounding it, and a crystal ball sat upon a perch in the middle of it with dozens of candles surrounding it.

“So… uh,” Dieter hesitates, hands scrubbing through his hair. The fuck is he doing here? He should leave. Willow continues to hum while she lights more candles by a thick open book sitting on a desk, flipping through the pages before she stops.

“Ah-ha!” She announces with a joyous clap, “Would ya look at that! Found it on the first try.”

She looks up to see Dieter still standing by the door with a nervous energy about him.

“Gah damn it, Dieter,” she grumbles, approaching him, “Ain’t gonna hurt ya. I’m here to help ya. Now go on, sit,” Ushering him to the table, lightly patting him on the shoulders, “Let me just get a few more things ready before I truly start this process, alright?”

“Help me?” He asks, watching Willow move in the space around them. She grabbed a bottle and began spritzing it around the chair he sat in.

“Duh, I told ya,” Willow said with a raised eyebrow smirking, “Oh wait, maybe I didn’t? Did I?”

Dieter looked at her in bewilderment, continuing to watch as she placed the spray bottle of liquid beside him and grabbed incense instead, placing them in their holders and lit them.

“T- tell me what?” He asked nervously, placing his hands in his lap and beginning to fidget with his fingers.

“My apologies, sir.” Willow bows, “I am a witch! Well, kind of a-a witch. I’m a witch practicin’. My great great great great grandma was one and it kinda skipped a generation or two cause my folks decided we should follow Jesus instead. Ya in any sort of religion? I’ve been involved with… too many.”

Dieter shakes his head. Fuck, this is how it ends, he was right. She’s gonna sacrifice him.

“I’m spraying lavender right now to try and get your ass to calm down,” she states matter of factly picking the bottle up again, Dieter flinches when she sprays some directly onto his hair, “Your energy is thick with nerves. Now what was I sayin’?” She asked, stopping in place and staring at the table cloth.

“Oh yeah! Sorry, I have a disorder where my memory ain’t the best. Think Dory from Findin’ Nemo,” Willow smiles brightly, “I’m a witch and this here crystal ball-” she taps a finger against the clear ball in the middle of the table, “-showed me to be expectin’ ya.”

“Sh-showed you?” Dieter asks, cocking his head to the side with wide eyes.

“Yeah!” Willow exclaims, “Showed me you comin’ here, us doing some magic and then you fuckin’ off to whatever it is you’re tryin’ to change!”

“Wait,” Dieter stops, eyes widening, “What am I changing?”

“Beats me,” Willow shrugs, fanning the incense around before plopping down in the chair across from him, “Alls I know is I’m supposed to help ya get there.”

Dieter looks at her and then the ball in between them. It starts sparkling inside as the clear crystal becomes dense with a weird purple fog, swirling around the inside of the crystal.

“Oh shit! It’s doin’ the thing again!” Willow shrieks in excitement, bouncing in her chair, “I told ya the thing showed me what I needed to do! Maybe it’s trying to show you what you need to do.”

Dieter stares at the ball before the swirling fog reveals you lying in your shared bed years ago. He remembers this morning clear as day, it’s the morning before he went to that stupid party and relapsed.

“It’s her,” he chokes back a sob, “What kind of sick fucking trick is this?!”

“It’s not a trick!” Willow protests, “I’m tellin’ the truth! Just watch the damn thing!”

Dieter continues watching the fog swirl within the ball, seeing himself join you in bed. Dieter perks up as he watches himself undress you and begin worshiping you like the goddess you are. Willow clears her throat turning her head.

“Ope,” she murmurs, cheeks becoming flaming red, peering at the ceiling out of privacy, “Don’t think I’m supposed to watch this bit.”

Dieter is entranced, watching the two of you, reliving that entire day. Except in this version he never leaves the house, he stays home with you instead. That’s what he should have done, stay home and hang out with you instead of go to that stupid fucking party.

The purple fog disappears and the crystal becomes clear again, leaving Dieter even more confused.

“Wait!” He shouts, gripping the ball with both hands, “Come back! Show me more!”

“Now hold on just a damn minute,” Willow scolds, pushing his hands off the ball, “Don���t break my damn ball. It’s the only one I got.”

“But I want to see more,” Dieter lets out a pathetic whine, “How can I see more. Make it show me!” He demands.

“Not how it works, bub,” Willow huffs, “But, from the looks of it that’s where the ball wants me to send you.”

“S-s-send me?” Dieter stutters out with a scoff, “How are you gonna send me back to the happiest time of my life?”

“Time travel, duh,” Willow snorts, “The hell do you think you showed up here for?”

He looks at her with bewilderment. How the fuck is this girl supposed to help him go backwards in time?

“Now, now,” Willow says, clicking her tongue in annoyance, “I recognize that look. Ya don’t believe me,” she adds with a roll of her eyes, “I’ve got everything ready.”

She stands making her way to a small tea kettle, filling it with water from a jug before placing it on her desk beside the book. Willow moves through her office with a practiced ease, opening and closing cabinets, grabbing the things she’ll need for this ritual. Taking one last glance at the book on her desk before clearing her throat.

“Now, I’m gonna brew this tea for you to drink. It’s got some cloves, rosemary, garlic and cinnamon in it,” she explains, plunking and sprinkling the herbs in the kettle, “Oh shit!” She laughs, opening a desk drawer to pull out a small hot plate, “Ain’t gonna get very far without boilin’ it.”

Dieter watches as she softly hums, flitting about the room as the tea gets ready.

“Now, I got white sage and mullein burning already,” Willow explains pointing at each, “Helps with clarity.”

He nods, still confused and a little scared. He has no clue how this is supposed to actually work. Time travel isn’t real, this isn’t some movie like Back to the Future. Although, he thinks tilting his head, would be pretty cool to drive the DeLorean. His thoughts are interrupted by Willow chanting something over the tea right as the kettle lets out a shrill whistle. Willow pours the tea into a little cup bringing it over to the table, placing it in front of Dieter.

“Ain’t gonna lie to ya,” Willow grimaces, “Probably gonna be nasty as fuck with the herbs I had to use but it’s what the book said to use.”

“Probably not the worst thing I’ve ever ingested,” Dieter shrugs, “So how’s this work? Do I just drink it?”

Willow nods, “I said the spell, I have the scents going, all you have to do is keep an open mind,” she continues with a smile.

Dieter nods, staring at the cup. What’s the worst that could happen? His life is already fucked. At least he can say he tried if it doesn’t work, grabbing the cup and downing the drink. Willow was right- it’s rancid, he begins to cough placing the cup back on the table.

“Now what?” Dieter asks with a grimace, glancing at Willow.

“Now,” a grin spreads across her face, “We wait.”

- - -

The sun’s rays shone through the curtains causing Dieter to wince as he woke the next morning. How was he supposed to know if the ritual worked? Willow said they just had to wait. Wait for what though? Hearing a soft groan next to him he peeked one eye open at the sound, looking around he noticed this wasn’t his room. Well, more so not his room anymore. The soft yellow walls and white curtains had all been replaced after you left with dark grays.

Glancing next to him, he felt like his heart stopped. There you were, snoring softly next to him. Maybe he was dreaming and his mind decided to torture him, it wouldn’t be the first time it had happened but then you reached for him. Your hand laying on his chest above his heart. Dieter didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, shout with joy or all three at the same time. His palm reaches out, gently touching your face.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers to your sleeping form as he rubs the apple of your cheek with his thumb, “I was such a fucking idiot.”

You crinkle your nose and let out a huff as you sleep. A grin plastered across his face, he can’t believe it actually worked. If he ever sees Willow again he’s going to have to thank her. She may not know what for, with traveling back in time, but he’ll thank her anyway. 

“You’re staring,” you let out a sleepy grumble.

“Can’t help it,” Dieter whispers, grinning like an idiot. You open an eye to look at him, raising your brows.

“Why are we whispering?” You giggle, scooting closer to lay your head on his chest, listening to the thump of his heartbeat.

Dieter takes a deep breath into your hair, shrugging his shoulders, wrapping his arms around you and holding you tight. Afraid if he loosens his grip you’ll be gone again. His hands begin to roam under your shirt, feeling the softness of your skin, the roundness of your belly. You’re still pregnant, grinning to himself as he sits up and moves you to lay on your back, rubbing his hands down to your hips. You’d always complained of them hurting with the added weight of Peanut, their little Lexi who would be coming into this world.

“Mmm,” you let out a soft moan, as his hands gingerly massage your hips, your fingers digging into his thigh, “Dieter.”

He couldn’t stop smiling, unable to believe this is actually happening again. Being with you, being back in your shared home, being here during the happiest time of his life. Dieter leans over your belly, pulling up your shirt to expose your bump, placing a soft kiss there.

“I love you,” he breathes out, his voice cracking before trying to get a grip on his emotions. 

“Babe?” You ask, concern lacing your voice as you reach for him, “What’s wrong?”

“Missed you,” he says, kissing your bump again, “Both of you.”

“Babe,” you laugh, “All we did was go to sleep.”

“Yeah,” Dieter huffs, rolling his eyes, “Just went to sleep,” he hums, lifting your shirt more to uncover your breasts, his lips placing a trail of open mouthed kisses until he meets one of your nipples, sucking it into his mouth. You let out a soft hiss as your fingers tangle in the soft waves of his hair. There’s one thing Dieter knows he can’t fuck up, sex. He’ll figure the rest out later.

You moan as he spends equal time on each of your breasts, sliding a hand down your front into your underwear. Dieter lets out a groan when he feels the wetness already collected there. He needs this, to you it was yesterday, to him it’s been six years since he’s felt you around his cock.

“I need you,” Dieter grunts, pushing you on your side, flopping down behind you and pushing his boxers down. His stiff member pushing into your ass.

“Jesus, Dee,” you giggle as he quickly pushes your underwear down enough to get to your core, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Please don’t,” he whispers into your neck, slipping his length between your folds, coating himself in your arousal. Dieter grips his dick, slowly pushing into you, simultaneous moans spilling from both of you.

“Fuck, baby,” you moan, throwing your head back against his shoulder, “So fucking big.”

Dieter pants, feeling your walls constrict around him, stopping himself when he’s fully sheathed inside of you. He doesn’t want this to end before it’s even begun.

“Oh god,” he whimpers, grabbing your hand, lacing your fingers together, “Missed this.”

“Dieter,” you pant, hips squirming against him, “I need you to move, baby.”

He nods against your head, slowly pulling out, his tongue laving against your pulse point as he sharply pushes back in.

“Fuck,” you cry out, gripping his hand tighter. He knows it’s your favorite so he keeps the same rhythm, pulling out slowly before plunging back in. He can’t stop the words flowing from his mouth as he thrusts into you. His pace grows quicker as he speaks.

“Please don’t leave me,”

“I need you,”

“I love you,”

“I won’t fuck up again,”

“I promise,”

“I love you.”

Every phrase punctuated with a sharp thrust into your wet heat, producing a moan from your lips.

“Dieter,” you moan, “I’m gonna come, baby, I’m gonna-“

Dieter can feel the fluttering of your walls, gripping you tighter he moves faster, unable to control himself any longer.

“Fuck,” Dieter groans, “Look at me, baby.”

Your head lolling against his shoulder as his hips snap into you, he grips your face turning you to face him. Slotting his lips over yours, smothering your cries as your orgasm rips through you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dieter grunts, grinding his hips into you as your walls constrict around him, warm ropes of his come painting your insides. He kisses you softly while both of you try to catch your breath.

“You okay?” You ask, eyes gazing up at him.

Dieter nods, keeping his arms wrapped around you.

“Bad dream,” he murmurs into your hair.

“I’m sorry babe,” you give him a sympathetic smile, giving him a quick kiss before moving off of him with a hiss, “Wanna go look at stuff for the nursery?”

“Hmm,” Dieter hums, wrapping his arms around you again before you can leave the bed, “Let’s stay in bed all day.”

“We just woke up,” you squeak out with a giggle, as he pulls you back against him, “Already need a nap?”

“After that workout?” He laughs, kissing your neck, “Uh… yeah!”

Dieter’s eyelids are heavy. He felt calm, more at peace than he has been for years, having you back in arms, the comforting weight of you next to him. The hint of your perfume surrounding him, causing him to quickly drift back to sleep.

- - -

“Dieter wake up!” Mark shouts, “Time to go.”

Dieter jumps, how long had he been asleep? The room is dark as Mark flings the gray curtains open allowing the sun to burst in.

“What the fuck?” Dieter groans, covering his face with the pillow next to him, blocking the sun from his eyes. His sleep-addled brain hasn’t registered what’s happened.

“Come on, man,” Mark says more sternly, grabbing the covers to pull off of Dieter, “Gotta get Peanut.”

“Peanut?” Dieter asks, flipping the pillow off his face, sitting up taking in his surroundings, “No, no, no. This isn’t right.”

He looks around at the gray bedding, the curtains, the walls. Where’s your house? He was just there, wasn’t he? Was it just a dream after all?

“Yes. Peanut,” Mark says, giving him a confused look, “Lexi, Your daughter.”

“I know who Peanut is, Mark.” Dieter snaps, “But she won’t let me see her.”

“Dieter,” Mark scolds, “Do not tell me you've been using again.”

“What? No!”

“You’ve had your daughter every other week for years now.” Mark explains, “Are you sure you're not using anything?”

“You mean, I have custody?” Dieter asks, beginning to choke up, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. 

Whatever Willow did, it worked, well kind of. If Dieter had some sort of custody of Lexi that means he must have changed something going back in time.

“I gotta go see Willow.”

“Willow?” Mark asks, shaking his head, “Dieter, you don’t have time to go on some wild goose chase looking for whoever it is you’re talking about.”

Dieter rushes out of bed, grabbing random clothes he finds throughout his room to throw on, running down the stairs to find his crocs.

“Dieter!” Mark shouts after him.

“I gotta fix it, Mark,” Dieter yells back, finding his car keys, and opening the front door, “I gotta fix it!”

—

“Willow!” Dieter bellows, bursting into Vixen’s, “It worked! It kind of worked!”

He hears a crash a couple aisles over and a gah-damnit!, before Willow appears at the front of the shop.

“The hell you comin’ in here yellin’ about?” Willow asks, rubbing the top of her head, “You made me drop a jar of Dragon’s blood on my damn head. I do not need any more feminine power right now!”

“Sorry,” Dieter chuckles, “I think we need to do the ritual again. I have custody!” 

“Custody?” Willow asks, confused.

“Custody of my kid, Willow!” Dieter says, gripping her shoulders giving her a little shake, “All I did was fall asleep, had a crazy vivid sex dream about my girl and now I have custody! I’ve never even met my daughter!”

“Alright, alright, alright,” Willow says, wiggling out of his grip, “Don’t touch me and I don’t wanna hear about your weird sex dreams but come on back.”

He follows her through the dark hall, to her office, the white sage and mullein is lit, the tea is brewed while Willow chants the magic words. He chugs it again. The warm liquid tingled in his throat as it went down.

“Not as bad the second time,” he sputters out through a cough, “Should you make extra so I can take it home?”

“Not how it works,” Willow chuckles, “Gonna have to come see me. Door will always be open.”

“I don’t understand how this is working at all,” Dieter admits, “All I did was go to sleep?”

“Maybe in your sleep is when you’re traveling,” Willow shrugs, “I won’t lie, I’m not sure how it works either. Remember, I’m new at this.”

—

Dieter leaves Vixen’s, feeling on top of the world as he makes his way to your house. He cannot believe he’s about to see his kid for the first time, well maybe not the first time but it is for this Dieter. He pulls up to the address he found saved into his phone under your name, taking a deep breath before getting out of his car.

He makes his way to the front door. It’s a different house than the last time he showed up, hoping you’d forgive him for running off and taking forever to get his shit together. Taking a deep breath he presses the doorbell, hearing the chime inside.

“Daddy!” He hears screeched from behind the door before it opens. A little girl looks up at him with wide brown eyes and soft curls.

“You came to get me!” She exclaims, grabbing his hand with both of her little ones and pulling him through the entrance.

“Y-yeah, I did,” Dieter murmurs, unable to stop staring at the back of her head. Her hair bounces with every step she takes as she continues babbling at him about something.

“Hey Dieter,” you smile at him from the couch with a book in your hand, “She’s been super excited for you to get her this week. Thank you again for keeping her an extra week.”

“Extra week?”

“Please don’t tell me you forgot,” you groan, “Dee, you promised me you wouldn’t forget! This is super important! Joel’s taking me to meet his family.”

“Joel?” Dieter asks, clenching his jaw, fingers flexing of his free hand against his thigh. Of course, Joel is still present. 

You study his face, taking in the tension rolling off him in waves, putting your book down and getting off the couch.

“Peanut, baby,” you say in a sweet tone, “Why don’t you go upstairs and get your stuff ready so you can go have fun at Daddy’s?”

“Okay,” she chirps, climbing the steps to the second floor. Leaving the two of you alone.

“Dee?” You ask, approaching him, “You doing okay?”

“Yeah, fine,” Dieter lies with a nod of his head, “Just forgot you have plans next week.”

“Look,” you start, gripping his hand, “I know this whole thing is weird for you but I know one day you’re going to find someone to love,” Dieter’s thumb begins to rub against your fingers softly, noting the absence of a ring on your hand.

“You don’t get it,” Dieter scoffs, shaking his head, “It’s you. I want to be with you.”

“We tried Dieter,” you say, giving him a sympathetic smile, “We just aren’t meant to be.”

- - -

When he wakes next, Dieter is blinded by the brightness of the room, closing his eyes again, not ready to get up.

“Daddy,” a little voice says, poking his cheek with tiny fingers.

He groans feeling a weight on top of his chest. He can hear you humming softly downstairs in the kitchen, little fingers continue poking at his face trying to wake him.

“Peanut,” he chuckles, “Why are you poking my face?”

“Time to wake up!” She announces, standing up on chunky legs before plopping her butt back down. Dieter lets out a grunt before opening his eyes, spotting the soft yellow walls of the room. He can’t stop the smile forming on his face. He’s back to where he wants to be, this timeline seeming to be much better than the present.

“Come here,” Dieter playfully growls, tickling Lexi’s sides. Her high pitched squeals echoing throughout the house.

“Breakfast is ready!”

“Hear that Peanut?!” Dieter asks enthusiastically, “Momma made breakfast!”

“Breakfast!” Lexi shouts, throwing her arms up in the air, “I hungry!”

Dieter scoops her up as he gets out of bed, carrying the toddler with him down the stairs to the kitchen.

“Morning,” you hum, smiling at both of them, “The contractor was supposed to be here earlier but he overslept so said he’d be by soon.”

“Oh?” Dieter asks, setting Lexi down into her booster seat as if he’s done this every day, “Who’d we hire again?”

“Dieter, I swear,” you laugh, rolling your eyes, “You’d be so lost without me.”

“You have no idea,” he murmurs, kissing the side of your head as he grabs the plates of food you had set out, giving one to Lexi and sitting down next to her to eat his own.

“It’s Miller Bros,” you huff, “And no, they’re not like the Mario Brothers from Nintendo,” you add after seeing Dieter’s head perk up. You always were good about knowing what was on his mind.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” Dieter asks, stabbing his fork into the eggs, “Besides the contractor coming, I mean.”

“I don’t know,” you say, shrugging. The rest of the meal went on, the scraping of silverware against plates and random chatter from Lexi the only things to be heard. It was eerie how quiet you were, Dieter stared at you as you scrolled mindlessly on your phone. He can’t pinpoint what’s going on but he feels there is something different here. Lexi finishes her breakfast, scooting off her booster and running off to watch TV.

“Is everything okay?” Dieter asks, fidgeting with the fork in his hand, he can’t risk losing you but he needs to know the answer.

“No,” you admit quietly, “I just- I don’t know what to do anymore Dee.”

“What do you m-“ he tries, the doorbell chiming interrupting his sentence.

“That must be the contractor,” you sigh, “Wanna start the dishes while I get the door?”

“Uh, yeah,” Dieter nods, “Sure.”

He gathers the dishes, rinsing each item before putting them in the dishwasher, hearing you speak with the contractor.

“I’m so sorry ma’am,” the contractor says with a gruffness in his voice, “Would’a been here earlier but my idiot brother wrote the time down wrong.”

“No worries,” you reply in a cheery tone, “You deserve the extra sleep, you work so hard.”

Dieter hears a deep chuckle from the man and a thank you, you’re too kind darlin’. It makes his stomach twist, he knows who this is. Joel fucking Miller. Can he not escape this guy?

Dieter slams the dishwasher closed, pacing throughout the kitchen. In his present time, the man is there. Now in his supposed past the man shows up too?! He wishes he could call Willow but a quick google search shows that Vixen’s doesn’t exist just yet, groaning as he tosses his phone onto the counter. What is he supposed to do?

He sees through the doorway how you look at Joel, the sparkle in your eyes, the way you seem almost bashful as Joel continues to talk about the most mundane things. Dieter can’t help the idea that’s popped into his head as he makes his way to the couch, sitting with your shared daughter as she watches cartoons.

It wouldn’t be the craziest thing he suggested, he’s Dieter Bravo. He’s definitely said worse things in interviews. He continues watching the two of you, the slight smirk on Joel’s face, the shy smile gracing your own.

Maybe if you fucked Joel you’d get it out of your system.

Dieter sees the attraction to Joel, of course he does. He’s rough, burly, and has that southern charm about him. The way his shirt hugs his biceps, his jeans clinging to his thighs. Joel clears his throat and Dieter snaps his head up, finding Joel staring directly at him, having been caught ogling he can feel his face turning a shade darker. You smile at Dieter, covering your mouth while a giggle escapes your lips.

“I’m gonna get started on the bathroom,” Joel says, eyeing Dieter on the couch, “Don’t let me interrupt your morning, Hollywood,” he adds with a wink.

You make your way to the couch, curling into Dieter’s side.

“So,” you giggle, with that sparkle still in your eyes, “Joel, huh?”

“Joel,” Dieter smirks, wrapping his arm around you, nodding his head. He brings you closer to his side, kissing your temple, before he scoops Lexi into his other side, keeping both his girls close to him.

- - -

“Dieter,” Mark says, giving Dieter’s shoulder a shove, “Need to wake up, you’re home.”

“Home?” Dieter grumbles, scrubbing his hands down his face, he feels metal on one of his fingers. Eyes popping open, he spots a band on his left hand. Married. He’s married?

“Yeah, home,” Mark chuckles, “And don’t worry. I took care of everything so the three of you could spend some time together for the next couple days.”

Dieter grins, saying your name out loud quizzically, he needs to make sure it worked this time. Mark nods, he gets to spend time with his girls. His girls. Dieter hops out of the car, grabbing the duffle bag from the backseat.

“Thanks for the ride Mark,” he hollers as he makes his way to his front door, shaking with nerves as he stands there. Taking a deep breath he opens the door to find the house covered in darkness, flipping on the light he takes in the room before him. Toys, books, and small shoes scattered around. His smile grows wider as he hears a noise from upstairs.

You must be upstairs waiting for him. Dieter sets his duffle bag down next to the door before flinging his crocs off on his way up the stairs. The door of the master bedroom is opened by a jar and he can hear grunts coming from within.

Fuck, Dieter thinks, manly grunts can only mean one thing.

He tiptoes to the door opening it more, seeing you naked on your knees before Joel. His thick cock in your mouth as you bob your head faster along his length.

“S’it baby,” Joel groans, throwing his head back as you take more of him down your throat, “So fucking good at that.”

You’re moaning as he grips your head, holding you on his cock.

“Fuck,” Dieter whispers, feeling his dick twitch with interest, watching you gag on Joel’s length. Joel’s head snaps towards the doorway.

“Ya just gonna stand there Hollywood or ya gon’ join?” Joel smirks, eyeing Dieter up and down, “We’ve missed you.”

You moan, pulling off Joel's cock with a soft pop, twisting your body to see Dieter.

“Hi baby,” you purr at him, “Glad that you’re home.”

Dieter stands there frozen, watching you stroke Joel’s shaft with a sly grin.

This present time is nice, Dieter thinks with a smirk on his face, I can live with this.

[unhinged-transmasc]

"If you go on T you won't look like a pretty anime boy, you're gonna look like an ugly man!" is so funny because I'm SE Asian, have been on T for 3 years with subtle (but satisfactory) changes, and definitely still have been told I look like an anime boy or a K-pop idol (because racism.) I do like to take care of my appearance and make an effort to look nice and stylish, but that's not a "pretty anime boy" or "K-pop idol" thing, I'm just A Guy who wants to look nice and pretty and cool. It's such an odd statement cause from my perspective it definitely does not consider the experience I described above, LMAO. It's assuming a "little white girl who doesn't know any better and likes anime" person, or something like that. (Just putting this out there because transmascs of color definitely need to be heard more, and transitioning on T experiences are all very very different.)

And anyways, the condescending way people talk down to trans men who do want to look like their cute/pretty fictional men transition goals is so weird... Like, what's wrong with that, anyways? Some fictional guys are really designed nicely, and may give new perspective on masculinity or maleness that people IRL may not show depending on where you live. Anyways, I think even if T changes you to be more masculine than you expected, you can still present in a way inspired by characters and styles you admire if you so like.

And the other side -- what's wrong with looking like an "ugly" man? I feel like that's saying any masculine trait is "ugly," so if you think that please reevaluate yourself. Looking more like a man Is Kind Of The Entire Point. Many transmascs will embrace that masculinity, and that's not anything bad, wrong, or poisonous. If you think it makes them look uglier or more like a predator or enemy, I want you to know that is not a very kind mindset to have toward transgender people, or to any man in general; it's rather in poor taste, and shows you are not an ally to transgender people. So if you do desire to be an ally, I urge you to reevaluate yourself and challenge yourself on what being a "man" entails, what being "masculine" entails. Because it's not inherently immorality or ugliness, it's just a gender.

This framing of masculinization as something to be warned against, that we don't know what we're getting into is not very cool, definitely ignoring we have our own agency and choices and feelings about our bodies. Like, when we go on T, often we know what it will do to us, and what kind of person we are gender-wise. We're making that choice for ourselves, absurd that we're treated like we don't know any better. We know. Don't treat it like a warning that we'll become less desirable types of people.

[accio-victuuri]

May CPNs round-up! ❤️💛💚

there is bonus content included here that i haven’t talked about separately in this blog so please enjoy!

• same apple headphones 🎧

• 5/6 zsww rumor

• genki forest ad silhouette similarities, and then it was replaced lol and sadly, they had to apologize.

• more examples of brands using the cp tactic ( allegedly lol )

• same city @ beijing 5/12/2024 but didn’t last long cause wyb had to fly to shanghai for the olympic qualifiers.

• jamy wee jeans

• fake story of wyb giving gifts to the ADLAD team and him visiting the crew which led to more people sharing some of their own szd stories that i didn’t add on the main post so i’m adding here instead. i think this started some conversation on what people heard irl about the two & how those who don’t really follow this pairing have encountered them. whether that means they are in a romantic relationship or not, we don’t know. these are all fake!!!! 💀💀💀

Let me tell you a story. A friend of mine told me that one of her college classmates participated in a hip-hop dance competition (SDC). Although she didn’t get a particularly impressive ranking, she was one of the top 100. Then she saw Xiao Zhan, and everyone knew that they were in a relationship, so they didn’t hesitate to visit him on set. What I said is just a rough estimate. I don’t have a membership so I can’t send pictures. I can swear that what I said is true, not a single word is fake, unless my friend lied to me, but I believe in my friend’s character

I'd also like to contribute a relatively old story, although many people should know it hahaha, that is, the two of them share resources. Someone around my friend is a staff member, and has read the confidentiality agreement of Zan Studio, which seems to say that there can be no conflict of interest with Bo, and to satisfy Bo to the greatest extent. Because Zan has a studio, resources are more free, and if there is something suitable for Bo, he will contact him directly. ( this was in 2020 )

Then I will also share my own experience. I participated in a New Year's Eve party. The lady sitting next to me is from the industry. She is not familiar with Bo Xiao, but the artist she knows has a good relationship with Xiao Xiao. The artist told her that Xiao had a boyfriend in the CQL crew. The artist told Xiao not to date him. Xiao Zhan said firmly, "I will not break up with my boyfriend."

I'll tell you one, my friend's sister is Jixiangkong's assistant, her sister doesn't like xx, um, she's a wyb fan, my friend knows I'm a fan and told me that her sister took a photo with wyb, I asked her indirectly to find out, she said her sister refused to tell, it was around 2019, she suddenly told me that her sister was a little bit abnormal, one day she said for no reason that wyb has turned gay.

My friend is a director of a certain Spring Festival Gala, and his family also works in this field. He has some connections. He used to think I was a fan of him and told me not to be a fan because he likes men. (To prevent screenshots, I can't say whether he is older or younger)

I'll also contribute one. My friend's dance teacher has been with the CQL crew, and after knowing that my friend likes Xiao Xiao, she told my friend that they were dating in CQL. My friend was almost broken. (She wf) ( wf means weifen = solo fan )

• a more comprehensive post about the airpods max cpn 🎧

• 5/14/24 xz’s selfie candies and i forgot to add another bit here, particularly the view from the window— it’s the backdrop for yibo’s chanel magazine cover. i would imagine it’s a popular scenic view but i’m just putting it out there 📷

then after the selfies, xzs released a short video of that day when it was taken. people did cpn of course but i’m just adding those here. so what we noticed is the two birds at the start, lovebirds? and then panning to xz who some say hid his phone or was looking at it then took it away because the camera was on him.

then a very galaxy brain one, and a total coincidence — outside the car, a police car passed by and people are like omg fpu ( formed police unit ) lol. but like if you watch that part, it was a perfect shot.

then some fans noticed similarities with the shots from wyb’s b&w photography 📷

• this next one is not really a cpn but more of me being proud of them and the works they produced. their popularity/traffic is important & definitely has helped them get projects, but we know that they give it their all when it becomes to being actors. the photos below are of the chinese films booth in cannes with both their movies and then the May schedule of their dramas’ reruns in satellite tv networks.

who would have known, they were once these two newbies who wanted to become actors and here we are — both of them have a solid body of work. 🤍

• clowning related to xz’s legend of zanghai poster

• 5/15 candies that revolves around wyb’s performance for the olympics opening. most especially his green + pink shoes 💕

• evisu x palace shirt that sneakily has their names on it

• 5/16 LRLG post and interpretations and then add-on speculation of relating this to the milan vlog and what some shots could mean

• their tissue endorsements matching so well. 💙♥️ and representing their cql character colors too!

• 5/20/24 zsww fake rumor - new clothes for jianguo, bickering and eating spicy food

• numbers playing for 520. 9785 and 828

• palace x wedgwood collab 🍓

• cpfs having discussions and comparisons to yy’s scandal to prove that bjyxszd

• 5/23/2024 fake rumor house

• XZ’s look for an endorsement Ad ( Liushen ). the whole fit and even the brand used screams WYB! 😂

• rumor compilation from 给博肖加点小料bot. from the past dates 2/24, 3/3, 3/26, 4/3, 4/29, 5/21 and 5/29.

• xz buying mcdo toys 🍔

• in the li-ning video released 5/31 xz was asked if he plays badminton and what he does during off times and the first thing he said is talk to his friend(s). who is that friend? is this the friend from the crew? 😜 no seriously. then after that he mentioned playing badminton, running and keeping fit. but the fact that he said talking to his friend? wow.

• the pink wedding theme potential from xz’s evelom outfit 💕💕🌸🌸

<<< previous month

[fertilize-my-eggs]

Bakugou, WE KNOW!! You're gay

This sounds like he's telling it to his love interest if I was in love, I would say the same thing if we're in the hospital AND IT'S HAPPENED TO BE IZUKU😩😩😩

Everyone would say deku is straight but I haven't heard a single one where bakugou is straight, look at him. HE ACTING LIKE HE MARRIED TO HIM!!! It's funny coz izuku had a whole collection of a big buff blonde guy... Like wouldn't a straight men collect women in bikinis or have posters of video games? Straight men what do y'all have in your room???? Like I get it some people will still say izuku is straight that your opinion but I personally think he might be bisexual or doesn't care about labels.

*Edit* I do apologize for this, I know in my mind I think straight men have these stereotypes of liking women posters and playing video games coz not every straight man is like that irl so I'm sorry for that.

[hairtusk]

i'm curious to know your thoughts on pulling apart problematic feminist canon, it's something i don't have a lot of experience with. like dworkin is obviously famous for her writing against porn and irl harassment of sex workers but she also wrote Right Wing Women which seems to be foundational and very correct when talking about gender and the far right. i haven't heard of of her discussion of pedophilia and bestiality, but she clearly wasn't afraid of controversial topics.

you seem, for lack of better words, smart about this kind of thing and i'd love to know how you think about these tensions!

This is a very interesting question. Unfortunately, before I can even begin to get into this topic, I need to address a few key points of your above.

'... like dworkin is obviously famous for her writing against porn and irl harassment of sex workers but she also wrote Right Wing Women which seems to be foundational and very correct...'

The wording in your above is very odd to me. The 'but' here seems to insinuate that, while Dworkin's work in Right Wing Women is 'correct', she is 'wrong' for her writings against 'sex work' and pornography.

Firstly, I refuse to use the terminology of 'sex worker', as I believe it normalises the idea that men can buy access to the bodies of women. I am firmly of the belief that consent cannot be bought, and that if consent is not given freely and without coercion, it is rape. Money is coercion. If sex can be bought, then rape is just wage theft, and I refuse to be party to that idea. That being said, I have enormous compassion and respect for women who are currently, or who have formerly been, prostituted. I want them to have access to dignity, respect, safety and protection in law, as far as is physically possible.

I hold the same view of pornography. People have always enjoyed watching other people have sex - this is inescapable, and I have no problem with the sensual or the erotic. However, the erotic and the pornographic hold no relation to one another - please read this short Gloria Steinem essay for more clarity on what I mean by this [source 1]:

I firmly believe that there is absolutely no ethical or moral way to establish an industry based on pornography. It is inherently exploitative and degrading, especially to women and homosexual men. Even if there are women who freely consent to appear in pornography (and I don't believe that's possible in our current society), I believe that even if one women was exploited, trafficked, coerced or forced into it that the whole industry should be abolished. Nobody's orgasm is more important than the safety, dignity, or health of a woman. This goes for both pornography and prostitution.

So, you can see how I find it difficult to answer your question in good faith when you posit that Dworkin's work fighting pornography and prostitution are somehow 'incorrect' or wrong. Indeed, I believe one of Dworkin's best essays details the exploitation of prostitution, and how it normalises rape. See the below pages for a taste of how she tackles this subject [source 2] and find more in her book Pornography: Men Possessing Women (1981):

Another vitally important point - you say that Dworkin was famous for her 'irl harassment of sex workers.' However, Dworkin was, in your words, a 'sex worker.' See the below extract of an article by Catherine Bennett in The Observer [source 3]:

Additionally, I can find absolutely no evidence that Dworkin ever 'harrassed' prostituted women or men, and, if you've ever seen her interviewed, you would know that she is incredibly gentle and soft spoken. Please watch the below video of Dworkin appearing on After Dark, to observe her manner of debate:

It's very funny, because the amount of misinformation spread about Dworkin floating around the internet has resulted in this [source 3, ibid.]:

I would be extremely interested in whether you could provide a legitimate source for her 'harrassment', beyond her academic and political criticism of the so-called 'sex industry'.

I really do appreciate that you say I seem educated on this particular topic. And I would, absolutely in good faith, be interested in answering your main question, if you still care to hear my opinion. However, you can see why I had to clear up these topics above, to make my stance absolutely blatant before we delve into more complex feminist politik.

Bibliography:

Bennett, Catherine, 'Doubts About Dworkin', The Observer, 8th June 2000 (https://www.theguardian.com/books/2000/jun/08/society) [accessed 12th September 2024] [source 3]

Dworkin, Andrea, 'Whores', in Pornography, Men Possessing Women (New York: 1981, The Women's Press) pp. 203-204 [source 2]

Feminist VHS Archive, After Dark: What is Sex For?, Online Video Recording, YouTube, 2022 [link] [accessed 12th September 2024]

Steinem, Gloria, 'Erotica and Pornography: A Clear and Present Difference', in Take Back the Night: Women on Pornography, ed. Laura Lederer (New York: Morrow Quill Paperback, 1982) pp. 35-39 [source 1]

[personasintro]

Oh mimi dont get me started on how protective he is over her! Some things I picked up from rereading:

- yn’s car accident

- when Jimin commented about jk being her personal bodyguard at the club (if jk knows about guys/old men coming at her)

- when they were in the club and jk always had his eye on her when she went to the washroom, or looked for her when she walked around the club alone

- when yn faked her injury in the snow and he panicked

- tae and yn drunk dancing on the table and mentioned twice how jk’s heart would stop in fear she’ll get hurt

I feel like there are more major moments but its really a lot and we have to find little clues here and there.

Tbh, it’d be hard to convince me its just a bff kind of protectiveness/jealousy cause im jk x yn shipper!! 🤣 just think i won’t feel like this towards my bestfriend irl and say i dont feel anything other than friendship 😅

Mimi you worked so hard! Thank you for your hard work ❤️ Getting to read the chapters again I feel the same if not more intense emotions compared to when I first read it. This is really a great story and you must have heard people say this to you a gazillion times!! But it truly is a masterpiece. I have no words to describe. If only they let us read this kind of story in high school then i would have perfected literature lol!

Someone said he’s not whipped enough for her and I wanted to mention some of these scenes hahaha so thank you for doing God’s work! ✨

Thank you, I’m glad you like the story and accept it as it is! It means a lot, you’ve no idea!! 💓