#i have even more thoughts unwritten if you can believe it but seeing as it is 4 am i should probably stop. also this is too long.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Q's Relevance and Parallels to Double Black

I had a sudden brainwave of thoughts (read: I only got three hours of sleep last night) and needed to share. I've thought this for awhile but I really think Q will be returning to the series at some point.

First of all, there's just too much ambiguity there and I want to know more about Q in general. What happened to Q to spawn an ability like that? Why does Dazai speak about them like they're the devil incarnate? What was the incident that led to so many Mafia deaths in an effort to lock Q up? Is there any significance to Q's unusual eyes (remember that most characters tend to have fairly normal eyes, and this is a series where the eyes carry symbolic weight)? What's with Q being strung up in this position that is eerily similar to a crucifixion, shortly before Steinbeck has a conversation about God existing but not loving them?

There's a lot there. I've spoken about this before in the meta I did about Dazai's change in approach after the Q chapter, which was genuinely an unexpected event he did not anticipate. But there's something fascinating about the way Chuuya reacts to Q as well. In fact, both Dazai and Chuuya are almost uncharacteristically murderous towards this kid, and that's real interesting, seeing as many aspects of Q mirror aspects of their younger selves.

Now I understand you might be thinking: uncharacteristically murderous? Story, they have both literally killed many, many people before. Yes, but context is important here.

Dazai doesn't have strong violent urges - not even in the Mafia, where he was considered terrifying more so due to his apathy in killing than anything. I can't remember a scene where Dazai is described as radiating bloodlust like Kyouka or Mori. Dazai is scary because of his indifferent hollowness at his worst points. Odasaku was described similarly in Untold Origins - there was no real desire to kill, just a listless cold follow-through. Dazai's sadistic methods, brought up by Higuchi in Chapter 25, are acknowledged as a means to an end, a method, not something done out of any strong desire or enjoyment. So when Dazai makes death threats or appears visibly angered - that's something worth taking note of. For him to make a promise to Q to pluck out their heart - holy shit. That is not typical Dazai behaviour. He doesn't even make that kind of threat towards Fyodor. Whatever happened in the past clearly shook him, enough for this moment to change his approach in the series and send him back to using darker methods again.

As for Chuuya, while he has and does kill quite readily, this is mostly in the heat of a fight. For him to give the go-ahead for murdering an unconscious child - it's unusually cold-blooded for him, and I can't think of another instance where he's down with lethal intent outside of combat and direct orders. I've seen some people talk about his reaction to Dazai suggesting he'll kill Q as proof that he's gotten darker since we saw him last in Stormbringer, from someone who would plead for the lives of the Sheep to be spared ("They're just kids") to being ready and willing to kill a defenseless child. While I think it's likely true that he's gone darker since that point - Chuuya appears to be more cynical in the present as well as having darker eyes with a smaller central pinprick of light than in Fifteen and Stormbringer - that's not the only thing going on here.

Thing is, Chuuya has always been fairly ruthless. He’s a very vengeance oriented character, right down to his fighting style (rebounding attacks and bullets). Hurt him or someone he cares about and he hurts back - and that threat will be destroyed. Parallel to this is how he is seemingly unable to turn his back on people who have helped him. Help him and he will remain loyal and protective even if that person goes on to stab him in the back. He has a very “give and take” mentality. Chuuya operates on the reciprocity principle.

So, about Q, here’s the thing: Q is a part of the Mafia, that's true. But Q has never helped them, only hurt indiscriminately. Mafia philosophy says “protect your own and follow the boss' wishes no matter what”. But Chuuya’s philosophy is saying “neutralize the threat”. And interestingly, Chuuya’s philosophy won here. If Dazai had've killed Q, Chuuya would’ve defied Mori’s orders in favour of his own judgement, which is extra intriguing because it emphasizes Chuuya’s loyalty to the people within the Mafia, not the Mafia as an organization itself. This is in full contrast to people like Tachihara and Hirotsu, who prioritize the organization and orders above all.

And about Q being a child: I don’t think this is such a big change in his character if I'm being honest. Chuuya knows full well how dangerous a child can be - he was that dangerous child. People underestimated him as a teenager and paid for it dearly; do you really think he'd make that same mistake? He also has a very warped view on the responsibilities and ways a child should be treated… while I do believe he probably is protective of those younger than him, he also equally understands that a child can be just as much of a threat as anyone else. For Chuuya, it’s always a matter of what wins out: the person or the threat? In this case, it was the latter.

The thing is, it's interesting the way they react when you look at the way Q eerily parallels aspects of their younger selves - as well as some things that carry over to the present.

Dazai and Q share central themes of control.

Q's mind control ability is actually referenced by Dazai as being essentially the worst kind of ability there is, and I know I've mentioned before how he seems to react poorly to those people who attempt to mentally control others, placing them on a heightened level of danger (think Fyodor, Mori). I don't think I need to get into Dazai's control freak tendencies - and what's more, after Q's introduction, after he says that mind control is the worst kind of ability there is - he ramps up his masterminding and enacts as much control as he can over the proceedings of the events that follow. Q's ability is interesting in the sense that it allows them control over others, implying Q came from a background of little control. I have also hypothesized that Dazai, with his need for situational control, similarly came from a background of little control. It's also likely they both were hurt by others - Q's ability turns any pain inflicted on them back around, giving them a way to fight back, while Dazai can level the playing field of any unfair advantages by nullifying abilities.

Q's small segment in Fifteen is also interesting: they're near completely zoned out, just staring off into the distance without responding to their environment until Dazai gets directly in their face. Then Q suddenly flips a switch and becomes all cheerful and playful. It reminds me of young Dazai's quick switches between faux cheerfulness and emptiness earlier in that same book.

They also both have quite interesting relations to pain. Q wonders why cruel things always hurt them, but Q makes this a foregone conclusion by purposely arranging others to hurt them so they have an excuse to hurt those people back. Q's pain becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: they hate it, but the only means of control they know in interactions with others requires it. Dazai similarly hates pain - his pain loop, however, is more emotional than physical. Dazai feels isolated and alienated from others, but his attempts to exert control require him to distance himself and rely on his mind over all else. He also leans into his inhuman side when it becomes apparent pain is unavoidable (I think often of his reactions throughout Dark Era to Ango's betrayal) - again, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. He will not find anything. He will continue to be separate from humanity if this cycle continues. That was why it was imperative that Odasaku break him out of it. Self-sabotage behaviours and unhealthy cycles, physical and emotional, are apparent with these two.

For bonus points: both have injured right arms.

On a more superficial level too, Q and Dazai both have "creepy child" energy, with emphasis on the child part - they are both legitimately disturbing at times but also have moments where they show childlike interest and behaviour. (I encourage people to check out Q's mayoi cards for this - I know it's not super canon or anything but it emphasizes their "kiddishness".)

Also I'm unsure if this is significant, but there's this detail too:

Q has a very unusual right eye with a star in the center. The right eye is also the one Dazai kept covered in the Mafia. Notably also, Q's right eye is frequently obscured by their hair in key scenes.

...Does it mean something? I have no idea. But it's potentially interesting so I thought I'd add it.

Meanwhile, Chuuya and Q share themes of loss of control.

For Q, this is quite obvious. They are literally locked up; imprisoned within the Mafia and unable to exert control over their circumstances. For Chuuya, it's a little more subtle but still present, I believe: I invite people to look at his character song and mayoi (particularly aquarium) for direct references to feelings of being trapped. However, looking at Fifteen and Stormbringer, there are a few mentions of freedom that are intriguing in relation to Chuuya's character. In Fifteen, both Dazai and Shirase mention Chuuya's "freedom"... but this is almost a mockery of what's really going on. A party to celebrate Chuuya's freedom is really an elaborate set up for a trap. Shirase telling Chuuya that he should have the freedom to act on his own wishes is really a cover up for a betrayal. In both instances, Chuuya's freedom is a lie. Stormbringer, at the very least, instates a sense of agency where he at least has the freedom to make choices about his own actions - that's the whole point of his hat; it's a symbol of autonomy (also anti-mind control; more on that in a bit). However, Stormbringer also systematically strips away the start of any alternate path Chuuya could've taken - he cannot be the child he was, he never got to hear the pitch on living in the light. He feels genuine gratitude towards those in the Mafia - they have his back, which is more than he could say before, but at the same time, the Mafia is kind of the last option available there if he wants not to be alone... and Chuuya does not want to be alone. (Seriously. His character song. Please look at it. Also Stormbringer.)

Now, onto their abilities, which also parallel in the sense that they are both used to "get back" at people. Chuuya rebounds attacks - bullets shot at him ricochet back at the people who fired, and Q hurts people who hurt them. There's a very reciprocal relation to the way they use their abilities, and it is absolutely to induce fear and intimidation in others, but there's a key difference. Namely, Chuuya fights only against enemies or people who strike first. Q, on the other hand, intentionally makes "enemies" out of even innocent bystanders just to have a reason to hurt them back. A lot of this is due to Q's misanthropic nature - I doubt Q has ever had a positive bond with another person, and so Q sees the whole world as their enemy - a world which, to them, does not want them in it. Chuuya, on the other hand, has had people who care about him, and he cares about them in turn. He's a bit jaded but he doesn't hate humanity, far from it.

In that sense, Q parallels Verlaine in a sense, right down to being kept in a special secret room in the Mafia, hehe. Though again, there's differences. Verlaine chooses to stay in that room, first of all, while Q doesn't have a choice. Verlaine's angst is internal identity based while Q's is more external situation based. In response to their pain, Verlaine chooses to relinquish control of himself (Brutalization), and Q chooses to have everyone else lose control of themselves (Dogra Magra). Verlaine says "look at how monstrous I am and how I hate and hurt because of it" and Q says "look at how monstrous you all are and how I hate and hurt because of it".

Chuuya is not so far on either extreme that he emulates this - but he could've ended up like Verlaine, and he admits it in Stormbringer. He could've maybe ended up something like Q too, if he'd remained trapped as a lab rat. But see here's the key with Chuuya: his hat makes it so the choice to lose control of himself is his alone, and moreover, that losing control doesn't mean he goes out of control. He trusts that he can lose control for a bit, place it in someone else's hands for awhile before it goes too far. Trusts that the choice to lose himself will be followed by the keeping of a promise to bring him back to himself. Chuuya has bonds, and that's the key difference.

But uh. Going back to parallels... about the scene where Q gets tortured... and the scene where Chuuya gets tortured...

Is this significant...?

...is... is this...

...

.............

Um. I may be delusional. But. Well. *gestures at all of this*

So, where does this leave us? Well, we have Dazai, who sees a manipulative, mind-controlling kid that he calls a "walking disaster", and we have Chuuya, who sees a dangerous ability user that is too big of a potential threat to not be dealt with, so the two decide the best course of action is to kill them about it. The reason Dazai did not follow through is likely a mix of his stated reason (the Mafia cannot harm Dazai so long as he is needed to stop Q), and probably also that he isn't really supposed to be directly killing anymore.

Nice, guys. Really clear and consciously held self-concepts you got there.

Considering everything, it's maddening that all we have on the dynamic between these three is: Q joins in Fifteen at the same time as the other two and is assigned to Dazai since he can stop their ability. Mori doesn't know what it is at that point but assumes whatever it is will be manageable because Dazai can just nullify it. It... clearly wasn't.

I feel like there has to be something here and that we're going to be coming back to it. Q, the old Boss, how Mori got so close as an underground physician in such a short time... there's so much about the Mafia we don't know so I'm assuming the story will shift to focus on these points again... someday. Hopefully.

[tiredsmashbros]

SMG34: LIPBITE COMIC WIP UPDATE

oh boy... i know a bunch of folks are hyped for this comic... and boy oh boy are ya'll's prayers going to be heard... kind of... butt for the celebration milestone, and granted majority are from this comic, i thought it was best to give EVERYTHING that i have currently.

starting off STRONG with what you freaks most want: the completed pages. andddd yep that's it that all that i have done LMAO. i've been fixated on my own smg4 oc: tsb, and during the end of my summer was unfortunately fucked over by some personal issues that fortunately got resolved last minute good grief the anxiety prevented me from drawing the gays sigh... aNYWAYS LINEART WIPS!!!!

here are linearts i have completed / in the progress of!! want to aim like i did in the past by finishing up lineart first, and then speed through with color + minor rendering. the reason i have a few colored is to test out what it would look polished and my god... i have improved A LOT. THESE GAY PEOPLE GIVE POWER I AM NOT KIDDING BELIEVE ME IM NOT CRAY- anyways onto wip pages!

jumpscare: tsb stickman sketches. oh yeah. this is how i sketch and i blame sensei eiichiro oda /j. and in case anyone is unable to understand it {i don't blame u LMAO}, smg4 wakes up from the dream and is startled to see mario by his bed. they have a short convo before mario leaves, and we get a job to smg4 in the bathroom trying to put up a brave face. until the moment he leaves he's stunned due to seeing smg3 at his front door. will i elaborate more on specifics or unwritten dialogue? NOPE! gotta keep secrets to make it even more enjoyable at the end!!

currently at 13 sketched pages total, but this is probably gonna be reaching towards 20-ish pages, surpassing part two, but it will depend on how i come up with how to end it. additionally to confirm there will be a PART FOUR / chapter 3, to end this story. my goal is to have it done before i finish my senior year, or at least during the summer after i graduate bc good lord who knows whats gonna happen.

and lastly, before i end this crazy update, SCRAPPED PAGESSS!!!!!

CONTENT WARNING : NSFW SKETCHES !!!! PLEASE LOOK AWAY IF YOU ARE A MINOR OR DON'T LIKE THIS TYPE OF STUFF!!!

oh boy... dont draw comics while sleep-deprived at 6am... idek what i was even aiming with this ngl other than just for fun, but i scrapped it due to not being what i had in mind for the story. if it doesn't serve a purpose or narrative, its bye bye YEAH BYE BYE THIS IS THE CLOSEST NSFW UR GONNA GET FROM ME HAHAHAHAHA- i say that despite writing a nsfw jojo wattpad smh im only confident doing it in words good lord. btw not watermarking these bc i gen don't care since they're legit scrapped {left top part was kept and completed} so idk what to do with these. im just throwing it and walkin away

now to end with this update, i can hear your question, "when will this be done?" and to answer that question: i'm not entirely sure due to my heavy focus on my smg4 oc: tsb, but my best chance is postponing my oc lore a bit and complete this before november UOIYGJDSIUHJKDWSXYUGHJKCS but we shall have too see...

if you want to join the ping list comment on this post LMAO [click]

ignore below if you're not from the tsb birthday partydddjdhdhdjd

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thurs: smg34 is canon in the tsb universe / au. though most of their encounters are platonic or best-friendy-way, they eventually express their feelings to one another and start dating 3/4’s way of the tsb storyline arc. tsb is a supporter of his friend's relationship and admires and takes inspiration from their relationship heavily to input his future love life. yearning to be in a similar position... to learn what is to really love someone... or what it's truly like to be loved...

[kittykattropicanna]

would you please be able to go into more detail about your prison penpal!simon? why is reader doing it, how did they choose simon (if they had a choice at all), the sorts of letters they exchange? and if they’re any sort of smutty bits for them too? your mechanic au has me absolutely feral beyond words so seeing this made me so excited.

Omg you’re my first asked AHHHHHH I want to scream thank you so much!!!!! 

Absolutely I can go into detail about PrisonPenPal!Simon :3  I can't get out of my mind how deprived he is argh!!! >:( all this time alone, and now that you're here writing him pretty little letters, he can't imagine life without you :3

TW: mentions of murder, jail, corruption kink, breading kink, masterbation (Reader & Simon), public masterbation (kinda), smut, not sub!simon but he does cum in his pants, ahhh you're both just so obsessed with each other :3

PrisonPenPal!Simon masterlist

Regular masterlist

I’ll give you a little back story to why Si actually ended up in jail…

I feel like he retied, left SAS and tried to integrate back into civilian life but failed miserably. He started going out to bars and drinking pretty heavily. The alcohol made him angry, he never was outwardly violent, but everyone could tell he was just a very dark, tortured guy that sat in the back of the bar every night and drank himself stupid. It was like an unwritten rule that nobody bothered him. His a massive guy who’s ex military, if you had half a brain you would leave him alone. 

One night he was leaving the pub and this stupid, stupid 18 year old kid thought it would be funny to try square up to him and impress his friends. 

It didn’t matter how many times they told him to quit it and leave Simon alone, he still trudged up to him with his head held high and chest puffed.  

This kid came up behind Si and punched him in that back of the head. It wasn’t a good punch by any means but it was more then enough to drive Simons drunk brain into utter rage. 

He turned around and punched this kid straight in the head. He went down like a stack of bricks, head making direct impact with the concrete floor, killing him instantly. 

The kid was only 18, he had so much life left to live…..

Of course Si felt absolutely disgusted in himself, he couldn’t believe what he had done. Killed a poor kid who made a stupid decision and ultimately ended his life as well. 

He handed himself over the the police without hesitation. He went quietly and respectfully, cooperated with the police throughout the whole trial, never redirecting blame onto the kid or made it harder then it needed to be. 

He pled guilty for involuntary manslaughter and assault. Gaz, Johnny and Price all pitched in to get him the best defence lawyer humanly possible……ultimately, it worked. Even though the general public was outraged at his light sentence. 

Simons lawyer claimed the punch was in self defence. Someone attacking him from behind also trigged his PTSD resulting in Simon not being able to control his actions in that moment. 

These defences along with him serving in the military for 15+ years and cooperating with the authorities got him 8 years in prison, his sentence was quickly reduced to 4 because of his good behaviour. 

It wasn’t an ideal situation by any means, but it was the best case scenario with the cards he was dealt. 

But lets fast forward to the present….. How did you decide to actually start writing to an inmate? How did you even find out about it?

I have this really cute idea that maybe you were walking through the shopping centre and there was one of those pop up markets that sit in the middle of everything, you know, with the really annoying people that flag you down and you have to awkwardly not make eye contact and walk past them while they’re try and sell you stuff?

Yeah, one of them. This specific stand kinda caught your eye though, It was called “Write An Inmate”

You talked to the guy at the stand about what exactly “Write An Inmate” was and he explained that he was part of the program when he was locked up, how much it helps inmates get through their sentence, helps connect them to the outside world and genuinely just keeps them hopeful. 

First off you were a little hesitant…..speaking to someone who’s in jail because they broke the law sounded a little scary…. 

But hell, its a start of a new year and taking some time out of your day every once in a while to write a short letter to help keep someones hopes up is the least you can do. 

Besides! One of your childhood best friends big brothers went to jail and he wasn’t a bad guy! One of your new years resolutions was to spread more kindness and this is just a perfect way to do so!

Once you got home, you look up the website on the brochure that was given to you and quickly start scrolling through inmates.

They all had profiles with information about them. You couldn’t see what they were in for, but you could see other information like their name, age, date they signed up for the program, time served/time until they get out, amount of letters they have received, a short description of who they are/what they like and a few photos showcasing what they look like. 

You scrolled through a few but they all seemed to have gotten hundreds of letters, you wanted to write someone who wasn’t getting flooded every week with letters, maybe send a letter to someone who could use a pick me up. 

Clicking on the last page you scrolled to the very bottom and click on the last inmate before it even had time to load. 

Once the page opened the name “Simon Riley” appeared on your screen

After looking through his profile a wave of sadness rolled over you 

Name: Simon Riley, most people call me Ghost  Age: 36 Joined: December 26th, 2021 Letters Received: 0 Time served: 3 and a half years  Sentence ends: Year and a half  Description: ex military. I like dogs, big ones not small ones, the outdoors, playing cards and motorcycles. The first thing I want to do when I get out is to eat a steak. 

Attached was three photos. I won’t even lie, they’re definitely dad selfies from different angles HAHAHA they’re such grainy photos too, like they’ve been taken on a 10 year old android. 

Two of the selfies are him with a black balaclava on and the last one was of his face without anything covering it, but again it so grainy you can’t really make his facial features out. 

Simon had joined the program two years ago and hadn't received one letter. You felt horrible, he joined the day after Christmas probably hoping to receive something, anything, but not one person took the time to write him….. 

So obviously Simon was going to be your prisoner pen pal, how could he not be…..

I think the letters start off pretty innocently tbh, you don’t start writing to Simon with the intention of starting any sort of sexual or romantic relationship, it truly is out of the goodness of you’re heart, you sweet girl :(

Simon had totally forgotten about the program honestly, imagine his shock when the prison guard threw him a letter. 

When he frowned and asked who its from the guard just shrugged and said “write an inmate program” and walked off completely unfazed. 

But again, starts out super innocent, things like “I saw that you like big dogs, what’s your favourite breed?” and “what’s your favourite card game? I know how to play blackjack but I’m not very good haha”

I’d like to think you don’t even disclose your gender or name at the start. Keeping everything under lock and key. 

Simon also answers back with pure intentions at first, he has an inkling you may be a women because the hand writing is wayyy to pretty and delicate to come from a man. 

But again! He doesn’t get his hopes up, it could be an old granny for all he knows, but he can’t shake the idea that maybeeeee it could be someone a little more his type, ya know ;)

After a couple weeks of writing letters back and forth you feel like you’re getting to know him a little better. He asks you to call him Simon, not Ghost and he starts writing the cheesiest dad jokes at the bottom of every letter. 

“Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and asks “do you know how to drive this thing?” a little army humour for ya’ :)”

His so charming in such a rough and rugged sort of way you know? It sounds silly to say, I mean, you’ve never met him! But the way his handwriting is complete chicken scratch and how he adds little “:)” “:(“ and “>:)” makes you giggle! 

You end up telling him your name and how old you are, I mean, its only fair! You know his name! You definitely didn’t tell him because you wanted to get his mind racing, get him thinking about all the different possibilities, make him fantasize…

Its fair to say you have a little crush on him :( ahhhh its so humiliating! A city girl like you, good job, successful family and a bright future laying in bed every night fucking your pussy with a brand new dildo you bought just so you could imagine Simon, a felon, fucking your little cunt :( 

When Simon sent his letter that week asking for a photo of you, your little crush just got bigger :(

“Its only fair don’t ya’ think? You know what I look like, why don’t ya’ return the favour sweetpea ;)” 

And of course you did!! He asked so politely! 

Putting on your pushup bra, doing your makeup and styling your hair all for him:(((

You get so frustrated because you don’t want to look like you’re trying too hard for him, argh! Its all so embarrassing!! Your such a needy girl >:(

You make sure to push up your tits, your bra helping them spill out over your cute little shirt and giving him a good view of your gorgeous body. 

After an hour of taking photos you finally get the shot you were looking for 

Eyes sparkling, cute little smile on your lips, light hitting your face just right, lacy bra slightly peaking out the top of your shirt just enough that it looks like an accident, beautiful tits sitting right in frame so he can get a good look and the slight curve of your waist visible. 

Its perfect, it look so effortless…..in your eyes at least

When Si received your letter, his cock got hard the second he saw your picture :((((

Since his been locked up he hasn’t been able to jerk off properly >:( 

His balls are so heavy as is, and now he has a photo of you 

He could basically cum in his pants at the thought of holding your waist as you ride him. Using his big callused hands to fuck your pretty pussy onto his aching cock >>:((((((

You’re so put together! nice clothes, from the look of the background, nice apartment, clean bedroom. Just the thought of him corrupting you, fucking his baby into you, making you move into a shitty little apartment while he works and you look after his chubby baby makes his dick start to twitch :3

Before he can stop himself, he cums all in his pants :(

He hasn’t cum properly in years! yet a simple photo of you did it for him in seconds!!! You’re such a nasty minx, you know exactly what you’re doing you dirty girl >>:(

That night he lays under the covers, his cell mate fast asleep on the other side of the room as he slowly pumps his cock to the photo of you.

Eyes closed and head thrown back against the thin pillow, he bites his lip so he doesn’t make any noise. 

You see, playboy magazines get passed around all the time, they’re not hard to find if you know the right people, but it just doesn’t do it for Si!!

Of course they’re beautiful women, there’s no doubt about it, but everything so photoshopped :(

Si likes his women natural. No skin smoothing filters or enhancements from photoshop, he likes his women real 

His so deprived that he cums in record time, his hot load shooting all over your face, the once clean photo now sticky and stained….

He wished he had it in him to be embarrassed, but he just can’t! God, he needs to hear your voice, your picture just isn’t enough anymore….

In his next letter he asks if he could use his monthly call to speak to you……Johnnys just gonna have to wait, they can talk football another time >:(

Aghhhh, PrisonPenPal!Simon is so fucking cocky it hurtssss, PrisonPenPal!Simon is open for requests so feel free to send them throughhhhh, add to the AU, ask me expand on certain topics, whatever floats your boat >:)

!Disclaimer! - Above is NSFW content - MDNI - If you follow my blog without your age in your bio, you will be blocked - If you are under the age of 18, you are not welcome here, otherwise, enjoy :)

Cat divider sourced by @positively-mine from Pinterest - Pink line divider by @eloquentreverie - MDNI divider by @cafekitsune

Basic blog housekeeping -  fic requests guidelines, boundaries and my rules for minors

[i-only-ever-asked-questions]

On the last blow to GO and why we want the 6 episodes

I might get hate for this, I may be completely ignored, I don't know. But I wanted to point out a couple of things.

I have seen a lot of hate towards fans who are sad, disappointed and angry at Amazon for reducing the 3rd season by about 2/3rds (45 min per episode originally) to a home movie. Hate that is unwarranted because you can, in fact, have more than one thought in mind. You can have different feelings about different things at the same time, you can have different feelings about the same thing at the same time, and more importantly you can respect people for having feelings different to yours in response to the same thing. Life is not black and white, humans are not black and white, situations are not black and white, it is more like... shades of gray

So want to remind (or inform) people of why we are so upset and why we want those 6 episodes back

This fandom has been around for 34 years, it has been around since the book came out. It is not 4 years old, it is 34, older than many of the fans have been alive, maybe even you

The fans have known since at least 1991 that there was a sequel planned, that there was a plot and even a title, 668 The Neighbour of the Beast, but nothing happened. The sequel was again brought up in 2005, when a little bit of the plot and the South Downs were revealed, and more hope was built, but again it didn't happen

In 2010 when they decided to make GO a TV show instead of a movie, Terry believed that the whole story could be told at last

In June of 2021, S2 was announced and we learned that since the beginning the idea was to take two seasons to finish the story, where S3 would be the actual plot of the unwritten sequel and S2 would be the bridge between them

S3 is the story that the fandom has been waiting for for 34 years, the story Terry wanted told, the one he had a hand in creating. It was supposed to be the last of his stories to be released into the world

We were told it was bigger than S1 and suddenly it is not. The story that fans have been waiting for 34 years, the one we've been looking forward to see on TV for over 3 years is suddenly taken away. S1 needed 6 episodes to go through it all (5 if you exclude the cold open of Ep3 and the executions in Ep6), S3 was supposed to be bigger than that, the story in S3 was supposed to take a whole 6 episodes to be told and seeing how S1 needed so many hours, a bigger story would need a bit more, not less. So yeah, many of us are upset, many of us have been waiting for a long time, many of us had been hoping for a long time, don't belittle us for that

[onlycosmere]

Marasi and the Ghostbloods

Comatose: In Lost Metal, you had Marasi ultimately reject Kelsier’s offer of joining the Ghostbloods, and I think that's a decision we've seen some division on with the fans. So I'm curious, what’s your analysis and thoughts on that? Because it was an interesting and fun character choice.

Brandon Sanderson: Yeah, I'm not surprised there's some division of fans; there was division among the beta readers on this. And there is even—like, I, as I was writing the book, left myself the option to have her join if I wanted her to. I didn't lock myself in in that part of the outline.

My instinct was this isn't a good place for her. And so why…? And then when I got to the end am like, no, this isn't a good place for her. So, you know, Marasi’s journey through the books has been, "how do I change the world?", "how much am I interested in changing the world?", and "how much do I change the world?". Kind of in conversation with the dreams that she had as a younger person and the reality that she's now living?

And one of the things I wanted to deal with in this book was this idea that she is kind of worried that she's just— she's becoming a cop, with all that that entails, right? That there's a culture to that and whatnot. And should she be doing more? And all of that. And so that did lead a lot toward the whole Ghostbloods thing, right? And I expected a lot of people to be like, "Oh, yeah, well, here's the easy answer."

The problem is Kelsier is just such a terrible match to Marasi, right? Like personality-wise, you know, Kelsier is about the shadows. He honestly believes that if all the information were known that it would be worse for the world. He can share it in a small group. And he's got this sort of "I need to take care of people and I need to do it my way" sort of philosophy, which is really antithetical to somebody like Marasi, who, you know, her whole thing is "we need to be better as a society, not as individuals, and we need to be—". And so I at the end decided this is just a really bad place for her, right?

But she needed a place. Actually, the first draft of the book, I didn't have her make the decision to go into politics. She had rejected politics in the first book, right? She’s like, "I'm not going that way, that’s not that's not for me." And I went double back on that. I'm like, no, this is probably the right route for her, which is nice because like, it it kind of snapped together for me at that point when I did the revision to be like, no, she does need something. If she's going to turn down Kelsier, she needs something.

You know, you will have some fun in Era 3. Era 3, I don't know…? I warned you I might spoil unwritten books… Have I said this? I might have said this—you guys will know—Era 3’s working title for the series is Ghostbloods, right? And so like you know Mistborn: Ghostbloods is what Era 3 is going to be called, most likely. So if you were sad, well, just remember if Marasi joined the Ghostbloods we're still skipping decades. You would not have been able to see her as a member of the Ghostbloods. But that's what the name of the next series is going to be.

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Cynthia, John and julian

Yoko

So let’s face it John Lennon was supposedly a ****** father toJulianne and a bad husband to Cynthia Powell., which is really sad he said before he met Yoko Ono. That he wasn’t very nice to women understatement of the century I guess. Sorry Yoko, theknow as many years older than him I’m guessing about 10 years,.. and maybe he had a bit more respect for her because she was a strong woman Paul McCartney himself said that John had a love for strong women he was kind of raised by 5 strong sisters. And Cynthia Paul says wasn’t that kind of woman. I think it’s beautiful that hey Jude is about Cynthia and Julian,. Even I supposedly John thought it was about him the worst part of all of this, is that when John died., he left nothing to his first wife or son. Paul McCartney actually went to an auction to buy John’s stuff to give to him. Which is beautiful I think. They had this unwritten rule that women didn’t come into the studio while Yoko Ono is in many of the sessions with annoyingly to the others. After John died she had this relationship with Ringo where he was a peacekeeper with her almost and This is why I’m not that keen on Ringo.

I mean let bygones be bygones I get it, but this woman had such an effect. Well let’s face it it was John John should have done the right thing for his first family. john lennon is supposedly to have had borderline personality disorder which i can definitely see he talks about how when he was younger he put on this haughty attitude and acted like a bit of a John Lennon is supposedly to have had borderline personality disorder which I can definitely see he talks about how when he was younger he put on this haughty attitude and acted like a bit of a THUG. But he said he was never really that person it was just an image he put on which I can see in his birth chart because he although he was a Libra and he did give peace a chance and all you need is love his Aries side came out strongly too in his appearance,, and also there is an attitude that two combinations could be very frustrating for people around him I believe and that would be where the BPD probably came in with these two different energies he also had his Venus in Virgo,. And his Mars in Libra men with their Mars in Libra and women irresistible to the opposite sex but also can be very flirtatious, and a man eater. And because awomanizer.. when things weren’t going too well with John and Yoko she asked her assistant and John's assistant to have an affair together which John calls his lost weekend with may pang. May was a wonderful woman because she helped repair the relationship with Cynthia and Julian and I have dozens of respect for her.

[mdzs-owns-my-ass-i-guess]

A means to no end

I got a massive case of brain worms from this post by @pockettgcf so...behold, writing. Thank you for allowing me to write this wonderful idea! I hope I did it justice!

Never thought I'd see myself as a HuaYin shipper but I can never pass up a good opportunity for angst.

Enjoy <3

It's easy to forget that Yin Yu used to be a god - he knows it is.

(He wishes he could forget it too).

Godhood had always felt, to him, like too heavy of a cloak draped over too fragile of a body, the weight of solid gold to be withstood by thin porcelain encasing.

It was no wonder that he broke the way he did.

But shameful as that had been, it had given Yin Yu purpose. He no longer faded into the shadow of others' lights, no longer had to feel the sting of inadequacy and the humiliation of a defeat that was never even settled in battle.

Instead, by Hua Cheng's side, all Yin Yu had to do was be useful. Not shine, not inspire, not pretend away his bitterness and play by unwritten rules of a world he had never truly felt like he managed to become part of.

To be useful is a great honor, Yin Yu had come to realize.

But as much as he tries to rescind his past as a god, Yin Yu can never separate from it. The grandeur, the worship of godhood, difficult as it may have been, it had tasted sweetly - words of prayer, of gratitude, of praise, promises of devotion and offerings... shallow as that may have been, Yin Yu often missed them, the honeyed taste of worship and trust, of adoration.

The longing for that kind of thing had only increased as he had come to learn of Hua Cheng's boundless love for the fallen Crown Prince of Xianle. Xie Lian, twice ascended as a martial god and twice fallen into disgrace - and through every terrible tribulation, unknowingly carrying the faith of a man whose devotion transcended life, death and the limits of rationality.

It was absurd, nearly, to adore somebody the way Hua Cheng did, as both a god and a secret lover, from afar but so close to one's heart, holy and sinful all at once.

And Yin Yu wanted nothing more than to know what that could feel like.

How could it possibly feel like to be the object of such powerful affection that the one that worships you stubbornly clings to existence even after death, drags himself through trials of blood and despair to amass enough power to avenge the ridicule you've been put through - and even as the entire world turns its back on you, his unwavering belief never falters, and even saves you in the end?

Once again, Yin Yu sinks into the bitter, familiar well of envy.

With every word of love and worship he hears come from Hua Cheng's mouth, Yin Yu feels more and more desperate to hear those words for himself, to feel so wanted, so important... so seen.

He wants so desperately for Hua Cheng to see him - see him not as his servant, but as the god he used to be (the god he tries so hard to pretend he is not) and give him even a fraction of the faith he lays over and over across the altar of a god that may no longer even exist.

(Oh, how Yin Yu wishes that temple was his, that faith was in him, that love was for him!)

It is one late night in Qiandeng temple that Yin Yu decides lying to himself is far less painful than hatred born of bitterness.

And as the alcohol lowers Hua Cheng's defenses to the point that tears slide out of his one remaining obsidian eye, Yin Yu reaches to offer him comfort.

Gods, he used to believe, exist to offer comfort, solace to their believers.

Even if Hua Cheng doesn't believe in him.

"Will I ever find him? Is there any point to this?" Hua Cheng asks, voice barely above a whisper, every word suffocated into the stench of alcohol and despair.

His eyes look up at the carefully carved statue of his god, his gaze loving but desperate. "Where are you, Your Highness?"

Right here, Yin Yu wants to say but knows he cannot. It isn't his statue that Hua Cheng anguishes at the feet of.

If only it had been him.

(Why would it have been him?)

"Chengzhu, you've had enough to drink. Let me help you return home."

"Home? Don't be ridiculous, Yin Yu, I have no such thing!"

It stings when Yin Yu hears it, but he doesn't falter.

"Your house, then."

And he reaches to help the other man upright on his feet, only to find himself pulled into his arms instead.

It is sudden and unexpected, uncharacteristic and bold - and Yin Yu knows this is not something Hua Cheng would ever do if he was sober.

(Or maybe he would. Yin Yu traitorously hopes he would).

"Chengzhu-"

"Stay."

It sounds both like an order and a plea - and the loose hold Hua Cheng has on him is enough indication that he is allowed to escape if he wishes, if this crosses too many boundaries, if this is unwanted.

He does not.

Instead, Yin Yu gently allows his arms around the other's body and positions him to lay against his chest, cradling his shivering form.

"I'm here." Yin Yu says, soft and comforting and kind, and he tries not to imagine that Hua Cheng wishes the man holding him was somebody else instead. "I'm right here. I won't leave you."

Not like he did.

(Yin Yu knows that this is not what happened, he knows Xie Lian had never intended to abandon anyone, much less his most devoted believer he never even knew of. But he is bitter and resentful of this nebulous man that's been given this much of the kind of faith and love Yin Yu craves, and so Yin Yu will allow himself to think himself above him)

"Stay." Hua Cheng says, again, and Yin Yu smiles softly at him though the man cannot see him.

"I will always be here for you."

And he says it not like a servant or an aide, but like a god, like the god he wants to be - right now, in this temple, in this night.

"Have faith in me."

---

To be useful, Yin Yu had come to realize, is a great honor.

To be used, not so much.

Not even when he freely allowed it to happen.

[meowzilla93]

Oh hello, another Baxter request!

More baby Baxter headcannons please! Specifics on his home life as a kid, more about school, anything about his Origin Story would be greatly appreciated 🙂

oooooh i like this

unwritten territory! (well so far)

lets just say I have lots of thoughts about this and this is just from what I have gathered in my review of Step 3 moments; Hang, Sightseeing and Drinks (more will come with the rest of the steps and OLNF plays)

This wont be the sweetest post ever, its gonna be a little sads, hopefully i can end it with some Sweet Baxter

BABY BAXTER!

Bold and outspoken, but still tried to avoid hurting others feelings or subjecting them to any bullying

Simply said, if he didnt like you or you werent worth his little kid time, he just avoided you - no point being dirty about it

The OLNF were his only friends outside of the society he was forced to grow up in - in addition to being the only people HIS AGE as well

Was dragged along to a lot of dinners and events that his parents either hosted or attended and forced to act the same age as the other people there

He said so himself - parents are quite educated, esteemed, and a tad old. which meant company is also old, not an environment to act as a kid

This is how and why he acts and speaks the way he does - his way of speech and gentlemeness was molded by the people he had to associate with

I do not think he was truly spoilt- his was provided all the opportunities that his parents believed he needed, but nothing more than that

This caused Baxter to miss out on a lot of childhood activites growing up

With the minimal amount of time he did get to spend with the ONFL gang, that was still the only time he truly got to act like a kid

And even then, I think he was chastized by his parents if they found out how childish he was behaving - they had expectations for him you see

Behave with the maturity of someone his parents age or somehow older, but get the level of respect of an infant

before the OLNF gang, he only knew that his family money made him popular with other rich kids and so used to flaunt that as a way to make friends

later on he hated doing this, realising how forced and false those relationships where and started making steps to avoid that moving forward (badly though)

AND THIS IS WHAT MAKES HIM A LITTLE PRAT AND REBEL

He for sure was that very respectful kid when talking to his parents and elders and others, but he knew just how to tease or backchat in such a way where he didnt get caught out, but he knew what he was doing

He always liked dressing up, he didnt mind that, but if he was going to, it was with his own vision, not his parents

This is why he held on so tight to the black and white thing. It was his choice and within his control - he got to do something he wanted rather than his parents

He so pulled pranks at these 'elite' events, hands down this was the nonsense he pulled

And so from the controlling gilded cage that was his life, he rebelled with his outfit choices, choice of friends and hobbies, and did his best to try and reject the lifestyle his parents foisted onto him

School life- I kinda touch on this in a previous post but lets rehash!

A+ student that screwed around in class

Oh HE FLIRTED SO MUCH - with everyone. teachers were not exempt from it (let me be clear im saying this in the most HARMLESS WAY)

let me elaborate - he has an eye for detail, so if a teacher changed their hair colour or perfume or wore a different outfit from usual, he would probably make a comment on it as he is handing in his homework or being told to answer a question on the whiteboard

THATS the start of the bad rep he has - STILL HARMLESS

again he backchats to the teachers, probably got pulled into the principals office a lot

parents get called and when they arrive he is just there chatting away with the principal like nothing was wrong and the principal is just like "im not even sure why I called you, sorry"

As he gets older he gets bolder with his flirting with other students, stopping it entirely with the teachers when he reaches middle school? (i am aussie! Im so sorry, i think this might be like freshman year or just before? Im thinking like grade 9)

So sophmore year is when he start sleeping around

And because he is shameless and figures why not its not harming anyone so long as he is respectful, just continues his little one night stands

His parents hate it; He does it more out of spite

Really leans into the black and white fits and he becomes really know for it around school and Golden Grove

and rumors fly that he is loose with his affections and is a little shit to teachers and adults

and suddenly that is simply who he is - the rumors floated around enough that he was given a bad rep - probably a bad boy rep that his parents tried to smother as much as they could to no avail

But what was happening with the gang all this time?

I think he didnt want to affect them with his antics, didnt want them to deal with his poor parents and their expectations so he just drifted away from them

watched them grow and thrive from a distance

He never stopped caring, he never wanted to walk away, but with everything that was going on, it was the better option

Of course he didnt tell them this, so its just another bad rumor about him now - he doesnt care for others and only cares for himself

His decision to move to Virginia helped him to start finding himself better, figure out the person he wants to be but with all the negativity he grew up with, self inflicted and inflicted by his parents, he just couldnt get out of that bad habit of keeping people at a distance

OH ALSO - being aware of his poor upbringing doesnt stop the trauma from going unrecognized and instill into him the perfect people pleaser he has become

He hurt too many people in Golden Grove with his antics, so now he must avoid ever doing that again

The perfect son, the perfect partner, the perfect friend, the perfect romance, the perfect stranger - there is no room for anything else

I am so sorry I swear I love him.

Lets try and loosen things up now

He believes in fate - oh he loves magic and reads mythology and all that but he really has a soft place in his heart for fate

His eyes portray his emotions more than anything else - sad part is its due to his parents requiring him to be a certain way, but if you wanna know what is going on in his head, look at his eyes

he learnt this at a young age, keep your emotions hidden, but his sweet eyes cannot contain his joy or mirth or teasing

that rock paper scissors thing? i recon it started more as a way to ensure his friends got what they wanted, as he didnt want anything more than their company

those big piles of leaves during autumn? oh he for sure would go lie in them to get away from the world

he enjoys walks and strolls cause as a young kid it was a way to venture into the magic and beauty of the forests and let himself go for a bit

ballroom dancing? same sitch, it was the magic of music and the way that you looked like you floated on the dance floor

magic, and i mean the magic of experience and the world around you, not 'is this your card' magic holds a very special place in his heart

loves watching the colours in the sky change at sunset - please take this man to see the Aurora Borealis, i think he might just cry

he for sure stole dancing partners for fun during rehersals

his little crush in Qui? mustve seen them do a leap and spin or something whilst some sweet romantic music was playing in the background and he was just down right smitten for them at that point

the ONFL was his first found family, i really cannot wait for him to reconnect with them!

siiigh, i thats all i have for now, i need to do more research lol

if you like this or have any prompts please do not hesitate! I might be a touch slow to respond but thats due to life and also i will research the hell out of everything to give you the most :D

[ananke-xiii]

I don't know where I'm going with this but it's driving me crazy and I need to start writing it down or I'll lose the thread of my own thoughts.

Basically I'm hyperfixating on the role of prophecy in SPN S4-5 from the pov where Chuck is just a prophet and not God. Because what makes Apocalyptic narratives so compelling is that they can be and indeed are always disconfirmed but never completely discredited. The reliance on prophecies is total in the sense that if the Apocalypse doesn't happen as one has interpreted it, it doesn't mean that it won't ever happen, it just means that the interpretation was wrong. And so on and so forth.

But for something to be interpreted it must also have been written, right? And this is what interests me because s4-5 are about an Apocalypse that's not been completely written yet. What's missing is precisely the end and this thing drives me a bit crazy, as I said.

We know some prophecies have been fulfilled because the premises of the Apocalype were indeed set into motion. However, we also know that Chuck is still writing his Supernatural books, the books that one day will become "Gospels" , but he omits huge and important stuff that he sees in his visions in order to appeal to his readers. And yet, the angels urge him to keep writing after we've been shamelessly showed that what Chuck writes is not always true nor faithful to his visions. He needs to please his audience, too. In fact, he's very concerned with that as he says in "Swan Song" with the "Endings are a bitch" monologue.

Angels seem to approach prophecies in a very human way and it shows when Zachariah asks Chuck "Have you been wrong so far?". They have faith it will happen, they are sure they will win but are they really? 'Cause it kinda seems like they need to be reassured, Chuck must write it, he must make it official in a way. But Chuck purposefully omits!

So of course when Apocalypse doesn't happen, the first thing Raphael wants to do is to open the cage and start anew. Because Apocalypse can only be disconfirmed but never discredited and it all depends on the faith one has on the veracity of prophecies. And the faith in the promise of an (unwritten!) end that Apocalypse yields is so strong that Raphael wants it even though they live in a "godless" universe. They are tired, they just want it to be over (=they want THE PROMISED END), they just want paradise. They don't even want God anymore! But they want paradise! (Amazing, Raphael I fucking miss you).

I don't know where I'm going with this but I think it's worth noticing how the prophet's role goes from writer to translator in following seasons and it's another something something that I'm hyperfixating on. Because "tradurre è tradire" (to translate is to betray) so once again we're confronted with the unreliability of the written word but, more importantly, with our expectations and interpretations of it (the whole Angel tablet chaos would've been avoided if Cas didn't assume what the tablet was about based on Metatron's lies: he believed Metatron because he wrote the tablet but this is what writers do! They LIE).

And if we want to go even further down the rabbit hole, what about Donatello who's constantly manipulated, rendered soulless, corrupted, put into a coma, awakened and people still expect him to provide some help or words of wisdom? I mean, he's not even a translator anymore, at best he's basically a sort of metaphorical life buoy to hold on to in the hope that the word of God is the word of Truth (it's not) or that there still is a God somewhere; at worst, he's used as bloodhound to sense The Darkness, Lucifer or any God-related power and he's finally used by God himself to remind him of what he is: a mouthpiece for God's word. A God that lies.

So yeah, I don't have any conclusion for my convoluted thoughts so here's my anticlimatic ending to the post.

[teecupangel]

Seeing so many animal Desmond tropes and I can't believe no one suggested the hooded pitohui. Some people thought pitohui!Desmond was being dumb when he didn't fly away but jokes on them when most people became paralyzed, some died, but no one believed it to be Desmond's fault except the Assassins he hangs around.

If the name sounds familiar, you might have heard of the hooded pitohui from this tumblr post.

As hooded pitohuis are mostly known for having black and orange plumage, just imagine Desmond to be more on the black and Assassin red plumage.

For this one, Desmond’s toxicity is a special case in the sense that he can amplify or weaken the poison he emits as there is some Isu Bullshit involved but in general…

We all know hooded pitohuis are toxic but Assassins (and Templars) before modern day didn’t so…

Altaïr: Definitely felt the numbness and the burning sensation when he handled Desmond for the first time. Instead of going “Oh, this is bad”, he definitely did experiments with Desmond which includes getting samples of Desmond’s feathers from various parts of his body and checking where the numbness originates from. Would definitely rub Desmond on his throwing knives and blades. Would absolutely get some poor crusader or guard to lick Desmond just to see how bad Desmond’s poison can get. (Desmond agrees to all of these ‘experiments’ because Altaïr also gives the best berries and shares his own food to Desmond)

Ezio: Didn’t know Desmond was poisonous until Leonardo told him. Leonardo also did experiments with Desmond and the poison blade is based on Desmond’s poison (thanks to Altaïr’s experiments). Definitely licked his hand after touching Desmond because Leonardo told him to.

Ratonhnhaké:ton: Learned Desmond is poisonous after observing him sitting on Haytham’s shoulder and rubbing his bird body against Haytham’s cheek. Also… Haytham was immobilized for hours. Hard not to understand that Desmond was poisonous after that. Doesn’t make Desmond poison his weapons nor ask for any poisoned feathers. On the other hand, Desmond makes a good hunting companion who can easily numb their prey enough that Ratonhnhaké:ton can take them down. They have a relationship similar to a wolf and a corvid. Absolutely never tried to lick his hands after touching Desmond, who the hell does that???

Edward: It is an unwritten rule not to shoot down seabirds in ships and some, like Edward, practice the whole ‘do not shoot birds EVER’ tradition that some sailors/pirates do. So when there’s this small black and red bird that starts flying near him, Edward just makes sure that he doesn’t shoot it. Edward never learns that Desmond is toxic. He consider the bird a sign that he was going to be lucky today, mostly believing the guards are groggy or sick because they’re still drunk. It’s only after he actually joined the Brotherhood that he learns of the poisonous bird of legends and went “Oooohhhh…”. He definitely licked his hands after touching Desmond and it was by accident and he just thought that the latest rum he drank was special.

Shay: Liam definitely dared him to lick his hand after touching Desmond. Hope told him not to do it. He absolutely did. He still sees the bird at times even after he defected but the bird never comes near him again. The only time it ever comes near is when it sits on Master Kenway’s shoulder. Shay had to help Master Kenway once more twice after being poisoned by the bird though.

Arno: The poison the Brotherhood uses is based on Desmond’s poison. They don’t normally interact though but Desmond had been kind enough to let Arno rub his blades against his feathers whenever he becomes low on poisoned ammo. No. Arno did not lick his hand after touching Desmond. He wasn’t stupid. (… he might have tried to rub his face on Desmond’s fur after Élise broke up with him but he was drunk so that shouldn’t count!)

Evie and Jacob: They both heard of the poisoned bird of legends, of course. Desmond likes to fly around them whenever they have a mission. Evie told Jacob not to lick his hand after holding Desmond. Jacob stared at Evie dead in the eye as he licked… Desmond himself. It was very traumatizing for everyone involved.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

Hello, I'm quite a big fan of your blog and your sandman posts. I had a little question for you. According to the comics, more than half of Dream's relationships never work out because of communication on Dream's part, right. So well do you think it's because he does not realise that some things need to be said out loud like because of dream logic where things go straight from A to B, so it would make sense he follows the same logic? Sorry if I am not making much sense.

hello, and thank you!

well, for starters, i have a feeling you're here from the adhd post, but in case you're not or other people are reading this who haven't seen it, i talked about one aspect of this already

but do you have a specific source on the communication line? i am entirely willing to believe it, but i don't have a perfect memory of every single comic and i don't remember that in particular, so i'm curious if there's further analysis to this that i missed

that said, i can absolutely analyse just dream's communication problems in general, because there's a lot in there

1) pride/ego/defensiveness. as much as dream cares about everyone, he is an extremely prideful being, and therefore easy to offend. if something strikes a nerve, he's not really the type to talk it out, his reactions tend to be more... dramatic. our extremes are cases like nada, or calliope (who he essentially locked out of the dreaming for several millenia after she blamed him for what happened with orpheus), but like. we saw how the 1889 hob scene went down. and as much as he's quick to advise anyone else that revenge is a poison, he's a big fan of taking it himself (or on behalf of others, see: not letting the madoc thing go). dream, just in general, never lets shit go, he doesn't know how to. which is gonna be A Problem in a relationship if you have to avoid stepping on his ego for the sake of your own wellbeing

2) he knows everyone. like, i think a lot about the library of dreams. the show just describes it as every book ever written (including books yet unwritten), but it's more than that. nightmare country in particular goes into this, it's a repository of every story ever told in anyone's subconscious. so yes, those are the books and compositions and other artworks that were planned but never finished - but it's also that daydream you had in the car home, something you thought idly in the shower, the book you planned in your head before falling asleep that you never intended to turn into anything real. a couple people in the fandom have already used this as a fic concept of hob writing unsent letters to dream, which will end up in the library. and sure, dream isn't thinking of all of that all the time, that would drive you insane, it's why he has the library, to organise it. but he is the dreaming, the entire place is just an extension of his mind, if it's in the library it's in his head and accessible

and like, he may not mean anything by it, he may even attempt not to look at that stuff with a partner out of respect for them (i've seen a couple fics take that path), but so much of how humans communicate is based on the fact that we can't mind read, we choose the information we give to one another, and most of those subconscious stories are private. not to dream. as soon as you think it, it's in his head. and no matter how good his intentions, that's gonna fuck with the usual rules of communication

2.5) this does feed into what you were saying - when the rules are all fucked up and dream has access to so much information about any potential partner, it's probably easy to forget they can't do the same. and yeah, his thoughts do skip around a lot, he is a dream, he may not realise how many vital communication steps he's skipping over until it's pointed out to him

3) he overthinks everything. this may seem like it's contradicting the previous points, but no they just compound into a huge bad communication bubble

there's one i think it's a tom interview, i don't know if it was about ep 11, i just remember someone posting a quote from it on a gifset with calliope, where he talks about the purposeful way dream talks, there's no ums or similar, because he's the prince of stories, he has every word and phrase ever thought or spoken or written down in his head all of the time, there's no hesitation in his phrasing. i think the phrase used was "etched in stone". while dream may not always realise certain things need saying, when it comes to the things he does choose to say, he is extremely deliberate in his word choice. there's no mistakes, he means what he says (even if he may later regret saying it)

and i think that's another piece of this, because for most people conversation is just a game of improv they've gotten really good at, they may mangle words or say things they didn't mean. and if dream takes them at their word, then we're back to problem 1 of him taking things extremely personally and never being able to let it go

(and then there's all the other reasons his relationships rarely work out, like him being extremely committed to his work, he can't be what a lot of his partners might want him to be, because he considers himself dream of the endless first and foremost and a person second)

(and his relationships are kinda the biggest representation of that inner struggle, because like. he keeps dating people despite the fact that it never works out because he doesn't want to do this alone, to the point that his mother, who didn't even know their brother had left, called him out for it. but then at the same time he literally says to destiny that the word 'life' does not describe the existence of the endless, they exist to fulfil their purpose, not to want anything for themselves. which, is wrong, but it's an extremely strong belief of his)

(so it is just a constant snowball of trying but self sabotaging)

[thisisyourprincipalspeaking]

Love your questions! I’ll place your questions to me in pink! 😉

why do you think he couldn't go down that kind of career path otherwise? (i have my own thoughts but i'm interested in yours)

- I think many of us have witnessed the multiple insecurities this man has unintentionally let everyone know he battles. Anyone belittling themselves in a “joking” way multiple times is very telling. Being confident isn’t arrogant, but talking down on yourself all the time shows insecurity. I believe he’s scared and I know he deals with anxiety issues so I can only hope he works on himself, seeks counseling, etc to reach his fullest potential one day. He’s very talented but his fans can’t want more for him than he wants for himself. As so many have stated, from our limited perspective, it’s like he said screw improving his craft and personal development and went straight for a perceived “easy” route. FAIL!

in your opinion has this been beneficial in that way thus far? or would he have had the same recent opportunities regardless of his relationship status?

- this is hard to say because as we all know or can assume …..being successful in Hollywood isn’t about sole talent unless you are top tier talent level wise, thus you don’t have to resort to silly pr stunts, but as time goes by even some of the most talented are resorting to pr related things just to stay relevant. I will say that when it comes to getting roles THAT is where I think it’s not as easy as many like to believe. I don’t know if Chris panicked, thought this was a good business move, had his agency persuade or threatened his career, studios didn’t see it for him outside of Marvel, etc. (all assumptions of course). I just know when award season draws near, many single stars who are in top related or relevant projects……magically gain significant others around award season and I don’t know Hollywood’s unwritten rules, but I think it’s sad that their personal lives become part of deciding if something, that should be solely based on talent, is obtainable for them or not. The fact Chris and her magically popped up around award party season doesn’t leave my mind either.

Now where would he be currently had he stayed single or kept his private life……ACTUALLY private. Idk. What I do know is popularity wise he’d be in a much better place and maybe that would have helped Jinx or ASP or whatever else he’s promoted the past few years. Now majority of the fandom quit or barely care and he’s got a slew of projects coming out that could be great or bomb and if they bomb, no telling what may happen regarding this shitfest, but by that time this fandom may no longer exist. 🤪

do you feel like there hasn't been enough time for this to show fruit just yet and we will potentially see more later?

- at this point, I see no benefit. He/his team dropped the ball big time. If this is real, there should not have been any trolling, 7482893 of irrelevant articles, orchestrated pap shots, mess, etc he simply could have posted her to his IG grid, turned comments off and went about his business. Ironically this would’ve given them more attention, appeared natural than the Central Park horror show they used to debut this mess. He had a great position and huge fanbase, well large enough to get him trending with every post. Too late now though unless they end this, disassociate from her but again they are “married”: she’ll be known as his first wife unless they have a plan to make this disappear 🙄 and regroup his career, but even then the trust is broken. They instead squandered that and whatever benefits he had or has just seems wasted. I still refuse to believe this isn’t a pr stunt because you can’t tell me a bunch of adult collectively thought THIS was the best option to debut his personal relationship if legit. Too much crap has happened even with two “weddings”. It either shows his team is incompetent and since he’s in charge that means he agreed to this mess or CAA has more power than we know. Either way Chris comes off as the complete opposite of what everyone has come to love/like him for.

- Will this ever end, not sure maybe not for a long while or not at all. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I will say anything can happen at this point so I’d just suggest those heavily invested in this just walk away until this ends or is confirmed to be legit in a way I refuse to waste time typing. But even if this never ends, I don’t see Chris returning to his once loved and respected status among fans nor the general public. Even if the age gap were the only issues, he shows he has issues. A mature man isn’t marrying a twenty something yr old, period. He’s lucky the general population isn’t aware of EVERYTHING His fandom is aware of …..but maybe this would have needed sooner if the backlash was that dire and huge.

I expected better from this man, but this is also a huge example as to why we shouldn’t place expectations on other humans let alone ones we don’t actually know nor should we put them on pedestals which is why Hollywood thrives unfortunately.

Hope this answers some stuff, just my random thoughts & opinions, fell free to ask anymore questions. 😎☺️

thank you for coming back and answering my questions, nonnie. i do agree with you on some points.

i do think celebrities can hide their true selves when needed. and we have seen some celebrities do this for long periods of time over the years. but i also will not give leniency to a celebrity, with lots of money, access and the ability to get help (therapy) if they want it. many many people have anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns and function every day. he has anxiety? okay. but that is not a crutch i will give him as a multimillionaire who chose his path and has money for therapy, treatment, physicians, etc. many others do not have that luxury and still go about their daily lives.

one reason i can see this being "real" is because of how messy it is. her friends are trash and troll. that's obvious. she's lazy and gets access to many rooms more talented, more hard working, or more accomplished actors don't because of this association and she's done nothing with it. if it's real, his team didn't get a say. they just got told to make it known to the public and make it look okay. if that's what happened. okay. there is no professional on earth who could work with this scenario and make it look okay.

but thank you, nonnie. i do enjoy seeing your thoughts! please come back any time!

[doctorweebmd]

okay I literally can’t stop thinking about this and this can’t sleep so I gotta get it all out. Here we go:

Listen. After sitting on the chapter for the past 24th hours, I think I overall like the ending. It’s certainly not perfect but no one expected it to be. Also let the record show that in any story, being underwritten and letting the reader come up with their own in-between is always better than being over-written.

Izuku Midoriya

- ends up quirkless. Going full circle with the narrative from the very beginning. Expected and well done.

- unexpected is the EIGHT YEARS between losing his quirk and getting a chance to be a hero again.

- listen. the bittersweet aspect continues to break my heart. Izuku did not graduate as one of the big 3. As his friends were excited about joining agencies and starting their lives, he just sat in the background and smiled. He became a teacher. He watched them from the sidelines. He’s lonely and he says so, too many times to count.

- the eight year time skip leaves a lot to your imagination. It would have been nice if we saw Izukus classmates adjusting training for him. Practicing more hand-to-hand combat so he wouldn’t use OFA unless he needed to. Slowly developing new support items and working with them.

- it would have been nice to see the people he gave everything up for rally around him. Talk to him about the way he felt. We lose so SO much insight into Izukus mental state here and it hurts me to no end.

- I like him being a teacher. It suits him, especially with how good he is with helping and inspiring kids. It’s following in All Mights footsteps quite literally.

- eight years is a long. Fucking. Time. All Might your ass sells more action figures of yourself than every other hero combined. You have favors to call in from every government on the planet. You didn’t have a couple yet to pitch in??? Did you blow your money on mechamight? Shoto and Momo are both canonically rich. Youre telling me no pro heroes would have pitched in on this thing? How did support items MADE BY IZUKUS FRIENDS take eight. Fucking. Years. To develop. Even monetarily. Come on. One year. Three MAYBE max.

- I have a lot of thoughts on Izuku and shigaraki. Again, very bittersweet that the person he wanted to save so desperately, who he wanted to help and understand, died. Even with the past users and Gran Torino telling him he’d have to kill Shigaraki, he insisted on saving him. Nana wept to him because of his kind heart. But we still end up with the inevitable and it’s just… glossed over. I’m glad Shigaraki haunts the narrative. I’m glad Izuku can’t forget about him. In fact, Izuku dealing with having a person right in front of him that he could not save, just like Eri, just like Katsuki, would have been a powerful character insight and development if we just explored it more.

- on that note, after all the arm-fuckery foreshadowing, I think he should have lost at least one of his arms. Something something the cost of reaching into the fire that burns you. Something something you reap what you sow you arm-breaking motherfucker.

- I really liked his conversation with spinner.

- I like that Katsuki reached out to him. I like that he fought so hard to get Izuku back into the fray. Again, the last 8 years are unwritten. Who knows. He might have been supporting him the entire time. Mourning OFA when the embers finally burned out by his side. We can believe they finally talked to each other about life and death and sacrifice. We can believe they became close, best friends, even. The last chapter suggests nothing of the sort, but that’s what fandom is for I guess. On that note….

Katsuki Bakugou

- outside of Izuku (actually even including Izuku) he suffered the most injuries out of EVERYONE.

- so tell me HOW he bounced back like that.

- his heart literally. LITERALLY exploded. Sure you can say he started slow and ‘trained himself up again’ (not how hearts work) except he was still in the top 3 at graduation. And somehow outranks Shoto as a pro. And retained none of that ‘having to stay calm to control his heart’ rhetoric at the end with the Kacchan typical yelling. You’re telling me he fucking DIED and suffered no physical repercussions from it?!

- his arm was ground into bone and muscle SOUP. Yes he did physical therapy yes he did hand exercises yes he started writing with his left. Okay. How is he able to use it normally now. You’re saying soup-arm McGee suffered no long term issues? He’s just ambidextrous now I guess,?????

- he was literally crippled. It would have been beautiful to see him having to slow down, feeling left behind, it being a point of connection and friendship between him and Izuku. Again we can just imagine those things happened in the past 8 years but the glimpses that we do see imply otherwise.

- listen I’ve written a million pages of bkdk but you need at least two lines to be able to read between them (I personally do not feel as overwhelmingly happy about the contributing to the mechadeku fund as a lot of people…. It’s sweet and all but it’s kinda…. 🤷‍♀️ after what they’ve been through and what they’ve done for each other if he wasn’t the biggest contributor I’d be confused.)

Todorokis

- not giving each Roki their own subsection because I actually very much like the way their arc turned out

- I like that endeavor could no longer be a hero. I like that Tatsuo went no-contact and he accepted it. I like the effort he’s taking to spend time with Touya even if it is too little too late. I came in as a hater but truly think Endeavors arc is one of the best done redemption arcs in manga or anime period.

- … I also think he could have/should have died. Probably with Touya. Probably as a last act to protect his family.

- I like that Shoto is slowly getting away from being known as Endeavors son. I like that he’s still a hero after everything he’s seen and gone through.

- I liked the scene where him and Touya find out they have the same favorite food. Damn that broke me.

Ochaco Uraraka

- not a ton to say as I also like the way things ended for her

- I appreciate that she got to show her pain and grief over Toga, and that she made it so clear to everyone

- I also love that she became such a huge advocate for quirk counseling (although…. Not quite sure how the technical aspects of that would really change anything………..)

The Villain Trio

- it comes as no surprise that this is the part that I don’t agree with and could have been done differently

- there is no reason all three of them should have died. None. Zip. Zilch.

- Tenko/Tomura I kinda covered above. He’s a horribly tragic character. He wanted to become a hero to the villains. He’s been manipulated his entire life, from the second he was born, and that desperate little boy drowning in a sea of hands waiting for a hero fucking died.

- I love the scene in his memory. I love Izuku reaching out to him. I love Nana preventing her son from hitting him. I think it was beautiful. I love how his single moment of agency he used to heat AFOs crusty ass.

- but Hori cmon you could have pulled SOMETHING out of our ass. He hasn’t reaped ANY of the shit he sowed. He quite literally dismantled (kinda) hero society and got to see NOTHING. You could have let him be a vestige for a bit within the embers. You could have swapped his situation out with Dabi. You could have brought in Chisakis crazy ass and somehow reconstructed his body so it wasn’t all fucked. Cmon.

- spinner writing that book. Compress reading it. That vision of tomura in the end. I am killing myself.

- listen. Despite Shigaraki being my favorite villain ever and one of my favorite characters of all time, I GET his death. Okay?

However…..

- there was NO reason for Toga to die. Not one.

- direct parallel to Katsuki here. Where is protecting HER future? Where is making the sacrifice to give HER a new day?

- Toga is a child. She’s seventeen. Tenko wanted to destroy everything and Dabi wanted to destroy Endeavor, but all she wanted was to live freely as herself.

- she would have THRIVED in prison. She would have made lots of friends and saw Ochaco once a week and maybe found a side-piece that’s into blood play.

- SHE died from blood loss? Bro idk if you know this but the thing that pumps blood in your body is the heart. In fact your heart exploding is a fantastic way to bleed out in 0.000001 seconds.

- even if Touya and Shigaraki had to die, she could have survived. She could have been the kernel of hope. She could have been the signal to Ochaco to be a hero to the heroes AND the villains

- hello i am writing a manga where i explicits make the point that the line between heroes and villains is paper thin and that under different circumstances these heroes we know and love would also make mistakes and could end up similarly. Anyway all the villains fucking die the end.

- Touya wanted to die and did everything in his power to do so. That boy waiting for the last of his body to give out as he died slowly and painfully is probably his worst nightmare. Jesus fucking Christ.

Other thoughts:

- love that Eri and Kota are friends and UA students together. SO CUTE.

- love that Aoyama still became a hero with them all

- La Brava and Gentle married?!?!

- Hatsume more like HOTsume 🥵 amirite ladies?

- I like that the hyperfocus on heroes in society has decreased. That the old lady helped ol’ string lips and he’s now in UA. I love how all the kids can see now that there is more than one way of being a hero

- if anything the hero ranking charts should have been abolished. Completely.

- like…. Have we abolished heroes wanting to be heroes for fame and money and power? Seems not

- speaking of where is stain

- thank GOD hori left all the relationships completely open.

- all their adult designs are CLUTCH. Mina, Denki and Shinsou MVPs

- Aizawa/Izuku coworker friendship. His problem child now his problem office mate. They’re both essentially quirkless now so that’s some shit.

- light in All Mights eyes!!!!

Okay it’s too late that’s all I can think of right now. Horikoshi is an amazing writer and has built a world that has changed a lot of lives. Endings are difficult and can never be perfect. I think he did it in the best way that could possibly be done.

Sigh. I’m gonna miss these kids so much.

[creepylittlelady]

The Forest in my AU [Puppet Strings Lore Dump]

Hi! I decided to go write more in depth about my AU, which goes by the name 'Puppet Strings'. It's a lot more fun actually talking about my AU then I initially thought so I might be making a lot of posts ;3

So, my AU has four main locations;

The Forest/The Labrinth

The Underworld

The Outside World (Earth)

and The Garden. The Forest is of course Slenderman's Forest, and YES THIS IS A SLENDERMANSION AU.

I'll be going into detail about them since I've been having the most Creepypasta AU brainrot that I've ever had in my entire life lol

The Forest

-The Forest, The Labrinth, The Slender Forest, The Operator's Forest, The Alternate World, it goes by multiple name. But the Pastas and the few 'outsiders' who know of it generally call it 'The Forest'.

-It was formally an actual town, although it's not a very well documented place and the name of the town originally has now been completely lost to time. Sometimes if you walk far you'll see the ruins of former Estates, but there's no evidence of it being there beyond that.

The Forest is a Labrinth, meaning its its own separate reality and does not have to follow the laws of Earth or the Underworld. This means that it has its own rules, and not many people can venture into this forest. There's actually a certain set of unwritten conditions that you have to meet if you ever want to go into the forest. Nobody knows what these conditions are but Ben, EJ and Lazari believes that there's an intertwining reason that the three of them came here, as they have had prior experience with cults.

In a Labrinth, the laws of mortality do not apply. Due to this, if you stay in a Labrinth for a long time, your ageing process slows exponentially, and then stops. Since many of the Pastas have made the Labrinth their home, they can no longer age. Lazari, often switching between living in the Forest and living in the Underworld, hasn't had her own ageing process stop entirely but rather she ages EXTREMELY slowly. She probably won't age another year for maybe about a Century.

The Forest, since it is detached from a mortal reality, is home to many strange otherwordly entities. Any benevolent creature you can think of can and probably does reside somewhere in the forest if you go deep enough. However the place is incredibly haunted and you really can't avoid a Ghost or a Malicious Spirit no matter how hard you try. Due to the fact that most of the residents are murderers, the souls of their victims are just all over the place.

There's actually a whole section of the forest dedicated to the ghosts that live there. Lucy is technically their commander, since she has the unique ability of being able to control spirits, but she just considers herself as their friend. The ghosts don't seem fond of the residents of the Mansion, particularly Sally and Ben, since they rank a bit higher on the Ghost hierarchy. (I'll make another post on how Ghosts work in my AU sometimes in the future).

Since Slenderman/The Operator owns the forest it's technically connected to his/its mind and so the surroundings change depending on his mental state. Many of the plants begin to die if he's away for long enough and sometimes it gets more cloudy if the Operator decides to take control.

The Mansion is the most integral part of the Forest, of course. Its the main centrepiece, and a paranormal hotspot. The Mansion was once a real mansion that belonged to an very rich family sometimes over 100 years, but Slender doesn't talk about it. The Mansion seems to go on forever, and is so big that people can live their whole lives there without meeting each other. Some of the Pastas, such as Bloody Painter and Zero, live in isolation in their own separate parts of the Mansion and some of the Pastas don't even know about them as they live completely separated from the others. This is of their own volition of course.

There are other functioning buildings too, as Nurse Ann and Dr Smiley live together in their own 'clinic'. Its a smaller, more dilapidated cottage that works more as a surgery house than an actual home. However they have their own smaller rooms upstairs and can live alone just fine.

Although the Forest can be your home, it can be your worst nightmare. Somehow if you manage to find you way in out of pure willpower or sheer dumb luck, and you don't meet any of the 'requirements' to get in, then you won't have a fun time. You'll start to suffer terribly from hallucinations and strong bouts of Slender Sickness to the point where you can go insane. This has happened a few times and the dealing with these stray wanderers is the Proxies' job.

If you go deep into the forest, typically the part nearest to the gateway to the Underworld, the Slender Sickness gets a lot worse there. There are a bunch of dead bodies hanging from the surrounding trees that none of the Pastas have ever really gone to clean up.

Most of my AU takes place here, and I can go into more depth if you, the reader, happen to find this interesting :D.

[stuck-in-hypna]

An odd and interesting relationship

Lee Jihoon (Seventeen) x OC | Drabbles | One shot | Situationship

Sometimes, an unspoken agreement is better than something planned...

We have an odd and interesting relationship.

Odd because we share something intimate, interesting because we were never friends to begin with.

He is a colleague and an ex-crush. I got to know him as we would often bump into each other at a pub I frequented, and always ended doing the deed either at my place or his—didn’t have breakfast or brunch together, and never exchanged numbers.

Come Monday after that first night, we bumped into each other in the office, and acted like complete strangers, didn't even share a single glance.

Awkward? Yes, very!

And just a few days after, stealing glances became our thing, nothing more though… and it was a different story during the weekends.

It became an endless cycle, neither wanted to address it. Plus, it did feel like the topic was somewhat off-limits. This went on for months, happened once a week, Fridays. Nothing planned but it felt like there an unwritten commitment.

“Do you think Lee Jihoon is hot?” One of my colleagues turned friend whispered one time during lunch. “And he’s a real charmer!”

“Yeah, I guess.” I muttered nonchalantly, but secretly evaluated him, I’d have to agree though, he is hot and all things cute!

“I can’t believe you never checked him out, not even once?!” she asked incredulously, apparently surprised with my lack of interest, or so she assumed.

“I’m just not interested, and he’s technically our boss, so be quiet please!” I shushed, it's a good thing that we're not reporting to him directly, or this will not end well!

As subtle as I could, I tried to steal another glance at him and that's when I saw him staring right back at me with a smirk, fuck my life!

The jerk even made sure to pass by our table which is obviously out of his way! I panicked and looked down on my plate pretending that it was the most interesting thing I've seen, then he spoke, directed at me specifically.

"Hey, Timmy. You look good today!”, as he gave me the most annoying yet captivating grin. I was in awe and can feel my face getting warmer by the second, but acted that I wasn’t startled. He then continued to walk away when I acknowledged him with a nod.

“What was that about? Timmy? You are Fatima to people outside our team! Are you two that close?” she eyed me suspiciously, and I can only deny it and insisted that it was nothing. God, I know for a fact that she'll never let me forget about this moment, and if I'm lucky, she'd spill the tea to our team members!

Later that night, I made my way to the pub to have my usual drink, a part of me wanted to see him, but I still couldn’t forget about the incident earlier. It’s now half past 11, and I had to make sure that I was late.

A part of me is expecting for him to be flirting with someone at this time or maybe he'd already picked a random stranger and left...

I took a quick glance at our usual spot and didn’t see him there. Well, it’s a good thing right? Heck, I didn’t even know why there’s a bubbling disappointment in me.

And so, I sat on the free spot I found at the bar, but then I felt a hand on my shoulder, “You’re late.” Someone whispered to my ear, I shuddered, yep, definitely him.

"I had some stuff to do," I turned to look at him and smiled coyly at him.

"I thought you wouldn't make it, it was starting to feel lonely." he laughed and then took my hand, "come on, let's ditch this place. I have something planned for tonight."

He took a bill from his wallet and placed it on the bar to pay for my drink that wasn’t even touched, and we made our way to the exit.

As we stepped outside, he held my hand again as we walked to his car. “I hope you’ll enjoy tonight; we’re going to do something different.” He winked and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at him. We hopped into his car and started driving.

He drove to a secluded place but not before stopping over on a convenience store to buy snacks, and non alcoholic beverages.

I am not even sure what I’m doing here right now, although the view is perfect, I’m just as confused.

“I told you I wanted to do something different.” He said, probably reading my mind. He started to loosen his tie and unbuckled the seatbelt.

I narrowed my eyes at him, “You mean do it, here?!” I panicked.

He chuckled and got me even more confused, “of course not! I mean, I never really knew you, and I was hoping to get to know you a bit better.”

“Well, I guess that’s good.” I smiled at him, now calm and suddenly laughing at my sudden outburst, “I’m so sorry! I just didn’t know what you were thinking.”

"Apology accepted."

And so we talked, as the night progressed, we just kept talking, no kissing, no touching or whatever sexual thing there is.

It was like a rendezvous of two old friends.

This is making me see him in a totally different light... after this, I know our situantionship will no longer be odd, but interesting. A big part of me is hopeful that there might be something more, we'll see how things go.

|| Masterlist || Home ||

[teddybasmanov]

Sometimes I feel the need to confess my cringeness to the world so I hope you know that my unwritten canon-non-compliant fic about Commissar Elrick ends with a scene in which he and the listener argue about politics and accidentally wake their child up.

If you want to know how I - a person deathly allergic to baby fics - ended up thinking that, there are details (headcanons?) under the cut.

It's a bit more than a thousand (1000! That's not the fic, that's me saying what I would write, if I could) words long and there's also one pregnancy mention in passing.

Anyway canon non-compliance is mostly in the listener's backstory, because I'm stupid and I found out that the elven playlist is a continuos story with one listener and not two separate ones, so I kind of assumed that This listener's story starts with the inquisitor's interrogation and whatever was before is up to me. Well, what was before? Let's see.

This is going to be unrealistic and purely for the convenience of the furtherer story (when will I stop trying to make excuses for myself and actually write what I want? probably never). The listener was a servant/slave of an eccentric elven noble - they thought it would be amusing to keep a human around teach them things, maybe make them sort of a secretary but also most probably 'fool around' with them. The rest of the stuff doesn't like them, because they think the listener is 'master's favourite' and get preferences without working hard, so while they're not working they're probably hiding in the library and read whatever they can get their hands on (cue: a lot of political theory, including, probably, books banned by the elven imperium).

They get taken in for questioning with the inquisitor because they're in the wrong place at the wrong time (if I recall correctly they're accused of blowing something up) and/or because their master is out of governmental favour. Then three interrogations happen - inquisitor, copper (whom they didn't believe, by the way, and when he tried to play them the whole 'I'm letting you go, be my friend' thing - they totally shot him the moment he handed them the gun - it was just unloaded), commissar - and the commissar offers to actually let them go wherever they want. Well, they drop to their knees at his feet and beg him not to make them go, tell him they can do anything - cook, clean, do the paperwork he hates so much - anything, just don't make them go, because they have nowhere to go and they want to be useful. Here comes one of my favourite tropes - "has been used their whole life" person meets "I just to be nice and help you" person.

So Elrick and his 'boys' take care of their new human friend as best they can (I like to think that Elrick and the listener share the inquisitor's bedroom - not out of romance but out of utility) and the listener in turn takes care of them - and takes on most of paperwork and when the superiors start receiving those papers they notice that the reports suddenly become more orthographically and grammatically correct, more eloquent - hell, the handwriting changes. So, when Elrick's unit (? whatever sized part of the military he's working with) is back with the main forces, those superiors inquire what happened and after some awkward questions they're met with a human with serious eyes and a uniform greatcoat way too big for them. This is when they get noticed and start slowly moving up the ranks, so to speak.

They probably start working with some higher officials, start speaking their mind (remember - they're somewhat educated), probably as a human they might get assigned to the People's Commissariat of Nationalities (the thing Elrick mentions, even he calls it the wrong word), productively work there, move to the capital (or at least a big city). Elrick, considering he's also not the last person gets transferred there too and they don't lose contact. Considering the story is set in a mix of The Great October Socialistic Revolution and the ending of World War II people are getting married fast - because they don't know what's going to happen next and there's that wave of altogether change (and dare I say happiness, if we take the Victory), people in the military especially, so they do too.

When they settle down in the city considering they're a decently ranked officer and a government worker they have comparatively good living arrangements - again considering the timing a separate apartment is unlikely - I'd bet two good rooms in a communal apartment (which for two and even three people is still a lot). The child happens naturally and I don't care if it's fpreg, mpreg or adoption (considering the amount of orphans after the revolution and the war) it doesn't really matter, but I like to think it's half-elven, half-human.

Considering the listener's background they take their work really seriously and probably stay at work late often and don't have much free time, so they and Elrick rely a lot of social services for taking care of the child (like child care), which Elrick is not too happy about, so one late evening when they're having supper he tries to talk to them about it and maybe even slightly guilt them for not spending enough time with their baby, so they whisper argue in one room, while the subject of their disagreement sleeps in the other:

Elrick: Do you care more for your work or your own child? The listener: I care more for our new developing state. Elrick, almost furiously: What? Is the state going to care for them?! The listener, calmly and seriously: Yes, for them and for many other children who are much less lucky. Elrick: *angrily drops his spoon on the plate*

The sudden loud clink wakes up the baby and it starts crying in the other room, the listener shoots Elrick an unreadable glare, while getting up from the table and leaves the room, closing the door behind them. Elrick drops his head on hands and tiredly rubs his eyes, hearing his partner's shushes in their human tongue he doesn't understand. Soon the crying stops but they don't return, so he goes to check on them and faces a heart-squeezing scene - his spouse, still in their work clothes, sitting on the floor by the crib with the baby on their chest, both of them asleep. He has half the heart to just join them there, but the voice of reason wins and he very carefully picks up them both to put them in the bed together, where after dealing with the dishes and ditching everyone's shoes he does join them after all. He's going to get a tongue lashing from his partner for not waking them up, but that's tomorrow.

Flashback to the first few days they spent together when he would find them asleep at the desk and carry them to the bed and they would wake up huddling for warmth because the electricity has been long gone and they don't have enough firewood.