#i have drawn so little animals over the years its kinda crazy

[nemomo]

tiger practice with atsushi !

[canmom]

Ping-Pong The Animation: eps 1-3

So Masaaki Yuasa [AN12, AN28, AN150] can do no wrong, right? OK, well, I'll admit Ride Your Wave was kinda mid, and Devilman Crybaby goes hard as hell at the beginning and end but sorta treads water in the middle, but... generally speaking! No-one does it like Yuasa.

For reasons I don't really remember, I didn't get very far watching Ping-Pong The Animation some years ago. It should be entirely my shit: Yuasa pulling in a gang of wildly creative animators to put their unique spin on something. However, the first episode didn't entirely hook me, and I never got round to trying the second before something else punted 'watching Ping Pong' out of my brain. ADHD, y'know.

This is a shame because even the very next episode seriously goes, as does the one after that. But also this anime isn't entirely what I was expecting (crazy sakugafest full of Yuasa weirdness). Not to say it doesn't do a lot of really unique stuff with its cinematography and animation, but these first episodes at least are more about like... dissociation! ennui!

But more on that in a mo. First I wanna continue the thread of 'how do you animate sports'.

So, ping-pong, or table tennis. Not a sport I know much about, I'll be honest. (To be fair I don't know a lot about sports in general outside of some very specific niches. The sports I've pursued so far are rather eclectic: swimming, fencing, tai chi chuan, and roller derby; I never got particularly far in any and it's been years since I've done them.)

I'll inevitably be drawing a lot of comparisons to The First Slam Dunk, the other sports anime I've watched recently. I do think it's a productive comparison though! Both of them bring something of the visual language of manga into their presentation in unique ways. I have not yet read the Ping Pong manga, but it's by Taiyō Matsumoto, otherwise known for scifi manga like Tekkonkinkreet (god tier movie, still need to read the manga) and Number Five. So that's a pretty impressive track record!

If you go take a look at some scans of Ping Pong, what will immediately jump out is the shaky, rough line style and unusual camera angles and compositions.

The stylisation is also very different from a lot of manga. Noses are fully drawn, eyes are realistically small, and in contrast, lips and mouths tend to get the emphasis - as well as hands.

Knowing this makes a lot of the creative choices in the anime make sense! It also adopts a shaky lineart style, and makes use of heavy line weights and spotting blacks to add definition. It also has a lot of crazy closeups and layouts, and it loves a visual metaphor. But most of all, the most striking element of this anime is how often it loves to split the picture up into little panels...

...which [eli]'s subs do a really good job of typesetting, incidentally, moving the dialogue to fit naturally into the split composition. And while this shot with 7 smaller shots is perhaps on the extreme end, splits of three or more are pretty frequent. It's a really interesting way to evoke the effect of seeing a whole page of manga

So, as you proooobably know, ping-pong is a game of bouncing balls off a little table and directing them into places the opponent will find it hard to hit them back. From watching this anime I picked up that there are a number of styles of holding the racket (e.g. 'penhold grip' and 'shakehand') and approaches to hitting the ball (e.g. 'chopping'). A lot of this pretty much went over my head, but honestly it didn't matter, since the narrative significance was pretty much always evident.

Compared to basketball, though, ping-pong is a pretty tricky sport to make visually interesting! Sure, you have the players running to and fro, and that can lead to some interesting poses, but how do you get the drama and tension into this?

Ping-pong additionally is all 2D, it doesn't have the sort of resources that Toei could throw at making the best looking 3DCG basketball game ever. It is limited to a TV-feasible drawing count. So it has to make use of clever limited-animation tricks to get the most impact out of fewest drawings.

Let's take an example sequence from episode 3. A minor character is about to get his ass kicked by Tsukimoto. Tsukimoto is something of a pingpong prodigy, and yet he is very emotionally closed-off and even standoffish; he doesn't particularly seem to like the game very much, and doesn't particularly feel inclined to flex on other players and get into the status games. But other players, like Wenge, have heard about him and want to see what he's got.

First we have the setup. Other characters are observing and discussing the game. Since ping-pong tends to involve very rapid exchanges, it can follow the classic shōnen model where there's a lot of talking, flashy fight sequence, more talking...

The cut happens in two steps, maintaining the vertical dividing line. This approach to cutting is used a lot in Ping-Pong, and it's quite a creative way to keep visual interest when it's using a lot of largely static shots. The panel on the right is more animated than the panel on the left, a naturalistic depiction of bouncing the ball off the table.

Things start moving faster here. A rapid pan on the image on the left disguises the fact that this anticipation pose is actually not moving at all. This then goes into a rapid, explosive moment as this guy serves.

The final pose is held for a couple of seconds while the voiceover line discussing his intended move finishes. This sort of elasticity of time is a very Osamu Dezaki type of move - it's something that Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata actually really disliked.

A sound effect hits as Tsukimoto appears on the right in silhouette, anticipating his reaction, and setting up the next shot which leaves the split picture and hides the background for just a moment, as if to put us in Tsukimoto's shoes: he only sees the ball.

Tsukimoto follows through and holds this pose - the ball is the only thing moving here. The ball moves mainly on 2s while Tsukimoto moves on 3s and 2s, and he and the ball move on alternating frames. He holds the pose as the ball zips off to the right (bouncing off the corner of the table), with a speed lines-like effect. At the end of the shot, the ball freezes in the air for the moment while the sound echoes.

The actual table-tennis round lasts just seconds, and the drawing count involved is pretty minimal, but it does a lot with those drawings.

We go back to voiceovers and reactions in the next few shots, returning to the split video as Tsukimoto's opponent thinks about how he'd really rather be at the beach...

Often, these comic-like compositions will change one panel at a time, and while one panel is animated another panel will be still, naturally moving your eyes across the screen. It is an approach similar to some experiments I've seen in 'animated comics' viewed in a web browser, where the panels do not appear all at once, but enter with some animation.

So this is the sort of animation technique that Ping Pong uses. It's effective! Elsewhere the cuts are used in a less direct, continuity-editing way and more in a juxtaposition/montage way. For example, Wenge's desire to return to China is symbolised by match cutting/fading to shots of an aeroplane.

And there is a recurring image, which I'm sure will be expanded on, of Tsukimoto hiding in a cupboard and wishing for a tokusatsu hero to come save him from his isolation. As Tsukimoto's feelings about himself change, the toku hero is replaced by a robot. At this points it starts to feel like an outright Ikuhara anime.

There is occasionally a little bit of CG, mainly when Tsukimoto uses a different type of racket surface, and the way the ball and racket make contact is the crucial thing that the shot is trying to convey...

It gets the job done, but I'm glad they stuck with 2D for most of it.

So I went in the first time expecting like, crazy elaborate sakuga - and to be fair, the OP, animated by none other than Shinya Ohira, delivers on that front - but if anything what I've seen so far in Ping-Pong is actually a triumph of storyboarding and limited animation techniques. I think back then I didn't have the eyes to appreciate it in the same way.

OK, that's the film nerd stuff, but what about the story? Ping Pong follows two school friends, Makoto Tsukimoto aka "Smile" (right), and Yutaka Hoshino aka "Peco" (left). Smile is defined by a flat affect and a standoffish persona. He's just going through the motions. He's very good at ping-pong, but to him it's just a way to pass time, and he's scornful about the idea of caring all that much about it. Much like Shinji with his casette player, Tsukimoto is pretty much always staring at a handheld games console rather than make eye contact with anyone.

Peco on the other hand is the more childish one - playful, kinda arrogant, very much an 'emotions on his sleeve' kinda guy. He sulks when he loses and gloats when he wins, and is constantly seen with bubblegum or other kinds of candy. He provides a lot of our commentary when he chats with the other players.

日本語上手 readers probably noticed the tsuki (moon) vs hoshi (star) symbolism thing they've got going on here!

High-school table tennis in this story seems to be a rather 'tough love' kinda world. Most of these players tend to look down on those who can't meet their level. Going easy on someone is seen as weakness, or cultivating bad habits, by almost everyone. Tsukimoto doesn't play at his full potential because he isn't as invested in winning as all these weirdos, but it seems that might be starting to change...

The coach is interesting. He's an old man and fairly disdainful of the club at large, and prone to speaking English randomly with a heavy accent. But he gets excited at the prospect of getting Tsukimoto to unleash his full potential, in terms that are repeatedly metaphorically compared to romance/marriage.

And when Tsukimoto gets sick of it, he challenges him to a game, with the stakes as...

Cue Makima/Beatrice images here I guess.

Tsukimoto de facto wins when the coach collapses, but this episode marks a change of heart. He starts to think of himself as a robot - the affect of a robot replacing the affect of the toku hero in his fantasy. And in this way he does what people seem to want and plays ping pong with mechanical precision, expressed once again in visual metaphor (shot here from a cool transformation sequence)...

What if I just dissociate harder? This is gonna end well.

So it really is one of those kind of like 'ennui of being a teenager' kind of stories - c.f. say FLCL. 'Boy with complicated emotional landscape' is Yuasa bread and butter, but the particular variant here seems a little unusual for him - they tend to be a little more earnest. I'm curious to see how Tsukimoto develops.

I am definitely enjoying the arrogant Chinese player Kong Wenge. Dude's got a lot of screen presence, and while I'm sure he'll get shown up sooner or later, he makes for a very fun antagonist of sorts.

In comparison to Slam Dunk... one thing that's significantly different about table tennis is that it's an individual rather than a team sport, which means it's harder to have an ensemble cast all contributing to the protagonists' eventual victory - instead it's about a lot of individual arcs interweaving with each other, individual duels. Besides that, it does seem like it will be following a similar arc of a character in an emotional hole (grief for Ryota, depression for Tsukimoto) finding new meaning and purpose through sports - though I can't be sure how things are gonna go for Tsukimoto here!

The tone however is quite different. Even when it's silly, I feel like Slam Dunk is a very sincere story. There's little detachment or irony, or false consciousness - with perhaps the major exception of Ryota's mother, who lets her own grief and trauma get in the way of understanding her son. But ultimately 'why would you care this much about basketball' is not a question that anyone would ask in Slam Dunk. Even the judo guy in the manga who's trying to recruit Sakuragi is just as hot-blooded about his own sport of choice.

There's a difference in like, general affect about the players as well, which has something to do with the sport itself. Yeah, Sakuragi's superpower is his 'genius' ability to predict rebounds, and there is plenty of strategising in Slam Dunk - but basketball is still a sport that very much emphasises physical power, and as much as Slam Dunk will work hard to sell you on a clever trick pass, the visuals are also emphasising the speed that players are dashing, the height they're jumping, their physique. Table tennis by contrast seems to be a sport that's more about prediction and mind games.

That said it is equally just like Matsumoto's style being different from Inoue's. Now I know it's by the guy who wrote Tekkonkinkreet, a lot about this series falls into place! There's a sense of tension here, of being fundamentally at odds with the world. The autismfeels. This is reflected also in the drawings - the characters don't entirely seem comfortable in their embodiment.

So if that's what I'm getting from just three eps, I'm very excited to see what the remaining 8 have to offer. This series is probably too long to cram into Animation Night format, but we'll see...

[dentwy]

number 7: here is greenwood

GREENWOOD!!!!!!!!! WOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okay i'm cool. "here is greenwood" is a shoujo manga serialized in hana to yume from 1986 to 1991 written and drawn by nasu yukie. in 1991 until 1993 it got adapted into a 6 episode ova and this is kinda where it ends i feel. i wouldn't say it has had any kind of major impact in the medium, the genre or any major group of individuals, but god i do think it did stir something inside me.

i either tend to gravitate towards stuff that isn't particularly popular, because i'm trying to come off as cooler than i am or simply because it just happens naturally. couldn't tell you, but finding that one little thing you end up enjoying so much without anyone else seemingly caring about it is always fun regardless of your personality. turns out it's a lot easier to become the biggest fan of a thing no one has seen, you know. a bit like becoming the world record holder of a game no one has cared to speedrun, it's just funny.

picking out what consists of "my favorite shows of all time" isn't so easy once you've been watching media more seriously after a while, those starting years will definitely shape you up and become a major part of the main stuff you like. even if you fully know it's bad, you hold it close to yourself because it was there at the start, and it's always nice to think back on that. so, it often happens with me where i certainly enjoy something enough to think of it as "this could be a favorite, but does it deserve the spot?". not even sure right now if greenwood deserves it, but i don't know if it matters that much. i decided to make a list of "favorites that aren't favorites" because of greenwood and even if it doesn't stay there and goes up into the list, it sure means something.

ironically, i don't quite think this show came out as a surprise to me as i'd been hyping myself up before even getting into it. it did, though, take turns i wouldn't have seen coming and i'm glad for that. these days i honestly tend to watch anime based on the soundtrack and it's no different here. the soundtrack showed up in online platforms on september of last year, which is around where i found out about it since i already follow nagata shigeru (even if i haven't even seen ocean waves, he just makes good tracks). my first mention of it over discord was me getting mad at my bank while i was dealing with my phone insurance after i tried reading one piece and got my phone stolen 13 pages into the first chapter, but that's a story for another day. i just said "this is the soundtrack of me killing a man" with a link to shun's theme , which is honestly accurate for any man killing activities. in context however, there's a bit more to the story.

this is why, to anyone caring to read, i want to do the longest and probably only essay / analysis / backtrack / retrospective / whatever the hell for "here is greenwood" you will find online. i HAVE to be that guy. otherwise, what have i been obsessing over this thing for around a month? the show has 6 episodes while the manga has 11 volumes (although viz squished it into 9 which is better), so i'll be basing myself on the pacing of the anime in relation to the manga, back and forth between them so the chapters match up. the manga does, however, have more stuff to it throughout half of its runtime so it's gonna be a lot of that i suppose. although, and i'll get into it later, the anime seemingly ends up being the more enjoyable version of the two. otherwise, skip to the tldr in bold letters to avoid reading the long ramblings of a crazy man skimming through a show and manga you probably haven't seen and read.

we begin with the hero of our story. he doesn't really have anything that would actually make him a hero, he's just a teenage boy just starting his first year of highschool at ryokuto academy. his name is hasukawa kazuya and i don't blame people for making him the least popular of the 4 central characters on myanimelist, but he's still technically the main character. our dear boy kazuya is moving into the ryokuto dorms, because it turns out he's kinda the unluckiest guy you'll ever meet. his older brother just married the girl he had a crush on, and since they don't have any parents left, they're all living under the same roof, something he simply can't stand anymore. he took the entrance exam for this prestigious boys only school and managed to get in, but in the process he: almost got ran over by a car while he was visiting the school, barely managed to take the entrance exam since the trains were stopped by a blizzard, had his acceptance letter delayed in the mail, and got an ulcer the day of the entrance ceremony that forced him to stay hospitalized for a month. even if god is against him, he persevered, and finally got in.

kazuya is hot headed (almost literally since he's prone to getting nosebleeds), overly serious yet still a bit of a goofus. he's not particularly smart, but he proves himself with the sheer effort he can put into the things he wants to achieve. he often feels like he needs to be stronger and grow on his own, failing to rely on others, as he doesn't really like getting pampered either.

he is introduced to the dorm head, ikeda mitsuru, and the president of the student council, tezuka shinobu. the two most popular, best looking, and important members of the dorms, currently on their second year of highschool. these two are the ones that will introduce him to "greenwood", as they call the dorms, since the full name is kind of a mouthful.

inside room 210 rests his roommate, which he's quickly informed is, in fact, a girl. according to them, kisaragi shun was born a girl, it's just that her birth certificate and every record lists her gender as male. by this point, 8 minutes into the first episode i'm already clocking out. i understand we're talking about japan here and it's the 1980s (rest assured, this becomes more evident as it goes on), but i have the sneaking suspicion that gender identity can't be this series' forte. from my understanding, hibari-kun does tackle these topics in a proper manner and it was also a manga from the 80s, so perhaps it's not completely unheard of. besides, shoujo manga isn't known to be scared of tackling stuff the rest would never dare, but still. me, the audience, and the guy on screen, kazuya, are being informed that he absolutely must keep this fact a secret from the all the boys at the school. if he does not, there will be consequences. added to the fact this guy is seemingly pissed off at his brother for not being "manly enough" since he "works as a nurse" at this school (and also the fact he got married to the woman he liked, even if she's at least a decade older than him), we're not looking too hot. whatever, i'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

3 days go by for kazuya living with a girl in his room, often going outside to let her change, being uncomfortable at night and trying to ignore people's comments of his situation. he finds out, however, that it was nothing more than a farce. shun isn't a girl, he's just a cute guy with long hair. this dude got tricked into thinking otherwise only so everyone in the dorms could bet on how long it would take him to figure out. "damn! i lost... if only it took one more day..." you hear a guy in the background. greenwood, refers to "a nest for bandits and villains" which is all this place is. as much of a prestigious school as this may be, it doesn't speak for the people actually attending it.

there's the guy that sleeps with his motorcycle, the club used to devote their time to a made up religion, or the duo that rent out their room as an arcade. the main trio that will share their time with kazuya stand out as much as anyone else, if not more, so we should get into them.

shinobu (on the right) is the son of a prestigious family. he's calm and collected, devious and cunning. not a lot seems to change his expression, as he's swift and decisive yet his has his mischievous side as he often enjoys messing with people, and specially his roommate. mitsuru (left), is the handsome, aloof guy that simply loves giving kazuya as hard of a time as he can.

shun, aka the most popular character in the show, is a confident, assertive and strong willed young man. it just so happens he kinda looks like a girl. it is very often played for jokes, but not once does he mind it and finds enjoyment in it himself. he is, in fact, "a guy with a gender", as you could say. he leaves his hair long because he likes it, he dresses up however he feels like and often more feminine because he finds it fun, and he just knows who he is and what he wants to be, which is highly respectable. i was mentioning earlier about his theme and it's honestly pretty fitting for the guy, there's something magical and cheery about it that really sticks out, while having a tone of that seemingly feminine side.

these four are the rag tag greenwood team, getting into trouble, helping others and messing with each other. guys that maybe wouldn't usually be friends with each other, but it's always the time and place that will bring people together.

most of volume 1 isn't too dissimilar from episode 1, they change around the order of some scenes for it to make more sense and remove or add dialogue for it to flow better, but most of the main events stay intact. kazuya's main goal is to stay far from his home to avoid thinking about sumire, the woman he loves and his now sister in law. this is what he's in greenwood for. it's not as simple as "running away" from it and his feelings, but trying to come to terms with it, get distracted, and find himself. the main overarching theme of this series is moving past a love that was not meant to be. whether it's by moving away, making new friends or finding new love, the goal is the same. ironically, the people around him don't really allow him to move past so easily, since his brother is still around all the time, his friends kinda make fun of him for it (because it is funny) and sumire herself is so oblivious to it that it keeps stabbing him in the heart which, yeah, i get it.

not sure if you, dear reader, has had the experience of being in a dorm with other people, or going through a moment of unrequited love, but it doesn't get any realer than this! for one, living with people close to you for a while is just a nice experience. always having people to rely on, to hang out with, to talk to, at any given moment. almost to the point you may start depending on it. as a matter of fact, the room i shared with other people for a bit was 211, the same one mitsuru and shinobu are in! for the other, trying to move past something like that isn't the easiest. in fact, it may just be the aftermath that's the hardest and that takes the longest, that is, finding the same feeling somewhere else. filling that spot with something new, or someone new. cannot really blame a guy for trying so hard to change his life around.

kazuya decides to stay in the dorms for summer vacation, as he insists he does not want to set foot home, and sumire decides to pay him a visit. not only her but his brother kazuhiro also plays fun with him at times simply because he likes to see his reaction. he's kind of a goat, but he does genuinely care for his brother. later he's informed he can't stay in the dorms for winter holidays, which is what forces him to go back home for once.

half of the first volume doesn't get adapted probably to improve the pacing, although the extra chapters also don't feel too substantial to the story overall. in one of them the lights go off at the dorms and a couple of girls get in, which they initially think are ghosts, only to turn out they're not. it's not that exciting of a chapter and the show does a better version of this a bit later on. besides, i believe that not showing as many female characters in the ovas works better for the series, as opposed to the manga which starts doing it more often from here.

after kazuya goes back home for the first time in a while, the boys meet up out in the city. here, they find a strange looking girl being tailed by men in suits. it only turns out this girl is "nitta mieko", an idol that simply wanted to get some free time for herself while her agency wouldn't let her. uh, she becomes a bit of a prominent character throughout the manga, while she doesn't really appear at all in the anime. to the actual plot itself, she doesn't do a whole lot, she just comes and goes from time to time. not much against her, it only feels like she's just there.

for another chapter, they're already on valentine's day, meaning they will get chocolate. shun mentions he's straight and he had a girlfriend already which the rest find strange, i suppose. both mitsuru and shinobu get all the girls from other schools to wait outside and throw chocolates at them, to which they run away from. kazuya has one girl that's a bit obsessed with him, yet he doesn't remember her name nor who she is. she mistakes shun for a girl, so she gives up on him quick, though. i'm a bit iffy with this chapter because even if it is supposed to be a well known fact that mitsuru is constantly getting girls to ask him out (and he's generally also unlucky with said girls) the anime doesn't actually show much of that, unlike the manga. i don't think this is bad though, it's more of a thing they just say but never really show as you're kind of invited to fill in the blanks for yourself. since it is only 6 episodes they obviously skip around a lot of parts of the year, and i don't think it's quite necessary to see everything they do, as getting a glimpse around their life is all you need to understand how they're doing and what a random day in greenwood can be like. the manga almost incessantly needs to show both mitsuru and shinobu as the popular guys and since we're talking about an all boys school, even if they are popular, it doesn't feel like it's something that should happen so often and at such a big scale, in my opinion.

kazuya also simply not knowing who the girl that has a crush on him seems off and a bit too early. i suppose his mind is still focused on sumire, sure. so, he's probably not ready to move on that quick? even then, the situation kind of presents itself in front of him and he simply fumbles it for no major reason, he simply does not know the girl from his previous school.

the final chapter sets up the next volume, where mitsuru gets abducted by none other than shinobu's big sister. the anime does a funny thing here on episode 2 where they kinda tell you "go read the chapter for context" but it doesn't really matter. the episode centers around shinobu's sister, nagisa, kidnapping shun's little brother, reina, who obviously looks like a little girl because feminine looking boys is a staple of the kisaragi household. this is, in turn, a direct sequel to the manga chapter.

nagisa hates her brother because he's kinda just better than her really. she's stuck up, pretentious, demanding and selfish. since they were little she always wanted to be seen as the superior one, and because shinobu doesn't give a damn about anything, he never really cared about whatever she tried doing to him. part of their father's favoritism towards shinobu must certainly come from the fact she's a woman, i will not deny that, and she has the right to be mad. she's still an awful person though and only wants her to be the one to inherit the family business. so, to "take revenge" on him, she decides to kidnap his friend. genius!

part of the volume is dedicated to them finding out it's her and then going to save him. in the process mitsuru tries to escape and makes fun of her. he ends up with only his underwear on to, uh, make it worse for him? i guess? in the process of escaping mitsuru gets his face cut which was supposed to be something they planned on doing to ruin how pretty he was or something, but apparently mitsuru has superpowers so the skin on his face simply fixes itself instantly. now, greenwood isn't scared of the supernatural, weird things will happen. but having his face regenerate is a bit too much in my opinion. i think it would be a really solid joke for him to "suddenly be fine the next page" instead of it actually and legitimately being superhuman. would play on the meta and sell the ridiculousness of it even more. which seems even weirder considering nasu loves to play with meta jokes. she will often draw herself commenting on facts or details that don't really make sense so she can address them herself, or have the characters directly refer to her or the manga as a whole. in this same chapter in fact, she mentions how it doesn't make sense that they're still in their first and second year of highschool if holidays are already over. i think some of these jokes are fine, but nasu loves doing it a little bit too much for my taste.

anyway, what the anime does instead, as i mentioned, is have shun's little brother be the victim. nagisa decided that she won't deal with boys anymore and only cares about girls now, so he picks up reina instead (unbeknownst to her that he's actually a boy). i think this take on it is better, since shinobu ends up knowing what the deal is way faster and manages to figure out a plan for the rest of the boys to follow. reina does, too, mess with her and her agents by asking for food and to take a shower, which gets weirder than it should! these guys kinda get really flustered about the supposed little girl they've kidnapped which is extremely weird (one of them even trying to peep while he's taking a shower!). nagisa is also really weird about it at the start but we know for a fact she's a terrible person so whatever. it tries to follow with the joke that people often mistake the kisaragi boys for girls, but it could've been something else, you know. specially when it's grown ass adults we're talking about, but whatever, it's still a fun episode. all of this ends with shinobu giving his sister a final warning, effectively pointing a gun at her and saying he was gonna take care of her this time for sure. only to turn out it's a toy gun. a little detail that stands out at the end of this episode, in a strange way, is mitsuru making fun of kazuya for developing a crush on igarashi miya, a girl from an all girls highschool that will become relevant later. it's a bit funny because by this point they have never shown the two of them interacting, and the first time that he will see her is later on in the anime. however i think it's mostly working as a little nod of foreshadowing, as the events in the ovas don't really seem to be in chronological order.

what is honestly surprising is the chapter that follows this, still on volume 2. a side story about two guys from the dorms in room 117 ending up as a couple and finding out they're gay. i'd honestly recommend just reading this chapter, as it's surprisingly good and i'm almost left wishing they had adapted it. they sure do the "but it can't be, he's a guy!" / "there's no way i'm a homosexual!" and sure, one of the two guys also does look like a girl, but it's cute and well handled in my opinion. throughout both the show and manga kazuya stays as the guy that like, simply doesn't know gay people exist, i think. he's not inherently homophobic, i'd say. he's always genuinely shocked as if he doesn't know what just happened, almost to the point it's funny. it simply does not process in his mind and he resets.

next chapter is about girls from another school taking pictures of mitsuru with his shirt off because it's too hot? and shinobu has diarrhea. the one after that, the boys go to the pool. everyone there thinks shun is a girl (as usual) so they ask him to go into the women's dressing room, and the lifeguard gets disappointed to find out he's a guy, but their outfits are sick so it's fine.

we continue to see kazuya being the one taking care of dorm head duty since mitsuru is away for the week. reina rolls up to the dorm and he's actually way more of an annoying brat than in the anime. kazuya lowkey bullies the kid and thinks shun should be rougher with him, or something. he still kinda has that thing of being disappointed that his brother isn't tough for whatever reason.

volume 3 starts school sports festival, not a thing we see in the anime. shun is dressed up as a cheerleader, kazuya is the fastest runner alive, shinobu set up bets for each team. typical stuff. later we see a girl show up at the school because her girlfriend was going there to see someone else. every single one of the boys absolutely loses their mind at the sight of a "real lesbian" who they thought was nothing more than a myth, and then it just turns out the her girlfriend saw mitsuru dressed up as a woman as part of the festival event (which they never even showed) and she was interested. rest of the volume is mieko showing up again asking for a favor because someone is trying to assassinate her, the boys celebrating new year's, a kid trying to figure out if shinobu is evil to get into the journalism club, and the motorcycle guy getting a real girlfriend.

a thing the manga definitely does better over the anime is showing the rest of the people in the dorms. although i barely even up remembering their names, they sure are there and have their own things going on. they do become more prevalent and they're part of greenwood as a whole. i just don't particularly feel like they stand out as characters themselves? some of their stories are fine and all but they serve as a bunch of background dudes that chip in at stuff most of the time. while it is cool to see the dorms more lived in, they're also not so important that it makes them feel like they actually matter, if it make sense.

as the manga goes on it starts feeling like a bit of a bottleneck. by no means is it not entertaining, it's simply that it jumps around between stuff that doesn't feel like it amounts to a lot. probably the reason why as i continue explaining things here i go over these chapters with stuff to say about them. next is volume 4 though! so almost halfway through!

this volume shows us the woman that shinobu's older brother (because it seems he has one) was supposed to marry. i believe, she doesn't really amount to much in the story, so i won't even go into detail about her. they go into a flashback with how shinobu and mitsuru met in their first year and fought, to then end up respecting each other. it's cool.

the rest of the volume is half a dragon quest parody and the other half a ghost story. both of these do, in fact, appear in the anime. however, they do so in a different way. in the manga, the fantasy manga parody is really just that, a sort of spin off that goes for a couple chapters. in the ova, the boys at the dorms plan on filming a movie to show at the festival, which is honestly such a cooler idea. they show them going around planning and filming stuff. shinobu and mitsuru even have to go pose for the self insert manga author that uses them as reference for her next manga so they can get the outfits they need. it's a whole process of them showing how they're doing this indie movie at their own school while cutting into the actual scenes of the supposed movie, real neat stuff.

in the other chapters, they go to a hotel shun's family just acquired and stay for the night. it just so turns out it's haunted and a bunch of girls try to get the boys to become ghosts as well so they can be together. mitsuru, however, manages to exorcise them since his family runs a shrine and he simply knows how to do that (?). ironically, he's the one that needs to get an exorcism in the ova.

this episode is one of my favorites by far. the lights go dark in greenwood, just like they did in volume 1 long ago. this time, mitsuru gets haunted by a girl he doesn't know. what's funny about this is that she is just a normal, cute girl and nothing else. she hangs around, talks to them, plays games, etc. fully visible to everyone, you simply can't touch her. mitsuru gets into trouble for bringing a girl into the dorms since he's clearly not allowed to, but it's not like he can do anything about it. he gets really stressed out and consistently asks her to leave him alone (which, wow. rude). i'm almost definitely biased here but this girl is actually voiced by the same woman that does my favorite character in the trails series, so, yeah. she's just really cute and fun and doesn't really hinder his daily activities in the slightest so seeing him get really pissed off about it is entertaining. the way the episode starts is also my current favorite thing ever:

this episode perfectly encapsulates the charm that has me tied to greenwood. the music, the characters, the wacky situations that get oddly real for short spans. by the end of the episode, she reveals that there isn't any major reason for her to be haunting mitsuru besides the fact that he's good looking. she simply hadn't ever kissed anyone before dying, and she wanted to do that. he strictly refuses because he's a little baby bitch and she leaves. instead, a day later, she tricks him by picking up the cat and having him kiss it. except that she's actually not done with him because she still likes him, so she brings a bunch of other ghost girls to mess with them. really funny. again, ironic, how he's the one getting haunted this time and he can't do anything about it.

the two final episodes of the anime are the most relevant arc of the series, which won't happen until much later in the manga. so we keep moving.

volume 5 takes place around the school festival, the one they made a movie for in the ova. kazuya gets tricked into a game of ping pong to see who would get the main role for the play they're doing, while shun does also take part of a different play. basically, we get 3 of the 4 main guys to dress up as women. shun's play is lupin's castle of cagliostro, which did also happen in the anime as an extra special segment at the end of that episode and it's really neat.

the rest of the volume has a new guy show up claiming that kazuhiro isn't worthy enough to be married to sumire. this guy is just her cousin, which is also in love with her, so let's leave it there. at the end they show a flashback into how the two of them met back in college, to then get introduced into the hasukawa household. this flashback is neat overall, it gives further information on how they've been doing as a family of two brothers, and a bit of insight into both kazuhiro and sumire's relationship.

sumire has been with them since kazuya was around 14, while she was in her early 20s, which i suppose isn't too terrible for him to fall in love? it obviously wouldn't work out regardless of the circumstance, but this isn't something they actually ever try to push for or imply it could've happened. not a lot more than teenage love, you know. what is actually fun is getting the news that sumire is pregnant with a boy. it doesn't really shape the story at all, but in the large scheme of things it does try to show the shift between their relationship and kazuya's feelings, which is great to see.

volume 6 has one chapter of shinobu meeting an alien that tells him he has a specimen that looks exactly like him who recently escaped containment. shinobu shoots him and doesn't flinch at the idea of killing someone that looks exactly like him, maybe because he's more of a robot than whatever this alien made could be, but we're still stretching the logic of this manga the more we go.

following chapter is the boys playing baseball against a friend of mitsuru's, fun chapter. the dorms move on to the next year, and they do actually start their second and third year of highschool. kazuya is the one becoming the dorm head this time, either because mitsuru likes to mess with him and / or because he does genuinely respect the guy. kazuya isn't too sure himself, though. some new students show up like the kid from singapore who they keep trying to explain things to as if he's some sort of otherworldly being, and he also shows signs of being completely clueless on how stuff works like not even knowing what a school trip is. i asked someone i know if this is true and they said that people in singapore do know what a school trip is (as i assumed), but sure. the school trip does happen, where they meet mieko once again and she asks mitsuru to do some modelling for a tv ad. this becomes a whole thing with mitsuru not being sure whether or not he wants to do it because like, his brother will think that he's only doing it to attract the attention of his "real parents" because actually he feels that he's not really part of his family since he's adopted? it's weird, the adoptive part will come into place later (although it's not that big either).

in volume 7 kazuya's nephew is born and they need to take care of him because sumire was gonna give them a couple of tickets for the ice ring. in the ice ring, two girls try to trick shinobu and mitsuru into becoming their partners because they need a couple to do competitive ice skating, or something. the conclusion is shinobu saying "why doesn't one of you get a sex change?" and they think it's genius and leave it at that. hooray for surgery. there's another three side stories with an edo era spin off, the boys going into the kisaragi onsen, and the duo in the arcade room getting cursed by an evil videogame you have to beat in one go.

it doesn't end with, but midway through we got the start of the main final arc, the one with igarashi miya. miya is a girl mitsuru used to know back on his previous school, she seems to be a bit of a delinquent that got into trouble with some girls over turf conflicts. she needs a place to stay for the night and tries to get help at greenwood. kazuya insists in helping her and offering his room even if it's strictly forbidden, because he sees something in her eyes. there's a certain sadness and uncertainty he's not sure about, so he wants to know more.

she explains to kazuya about her situation, and it turns out, she's not as tough as she seems. she doesn't like that people see her as a delinquent, she's not strong, she's a bit of a scaredy cat and is always trying to keep herself from crying. in the process of helping her and getting the girls from the other school to stop annoying her, kazuya realizes that, whoops! he kind of likes her! unfortunate for him, she already has a boyfriend. she does really insist that he's a good guy since he's always been there for him. on the other hand, kazuya wonders why was it because of him that she turned into a delinquent, or why doesn't she ever feel loved by him. she feels that he doesn't like her for who she is but rather he believes he likes her because they've always been together. not a lot he can do about it though, as he doesn't really have an excuse to see her again.

the anime doesn't change much here, the episode starts with kazuya already dwelling about her as they usually do with these episodes, starting with the aftermath of the events and recapping on what happened to them. i do like this, i'll say.

volume 8 is the last one before overlapping with the final episode, so it's mostly filled with extra chapters. there's one about a boy not going to class because he hates one of the teachers, another one with mitsuru getting tailed by a girl (again) who loves the made up version of mitsuru she imagined while seeing his commercial, devilwood again with the dragon quest fantasy manga parody, and the sports festival once more. the thing i like about the sequel to the sports festival is how kazuya gets into the track team to distract himself from thinking about miya, which seems to work for a bit. not essential, but realistic.

another one of the chapters is him falling off a ladder and landing in an alternate dimension where everyone is female, which is actually kinda fun, if not a little bit short. they call it "cherrywood" instead of greenwood, and there's actually a version of this they had the voice actors record as part of the drama cds. there are a couple of these mainly for the special chapters like the sports festival and stuff, they're neat. once kazuya comes back to his world the boys in the dorm keep dropping themselves off the ladder to see if they can go there as well so it's pretty funny.

i think the girl that was obsessed with mitsuru is somewhat a different version of the ghost girl from episode 4, although this one gets so mad at so many things he does that he legitimately cannot go around doing anything without having this girl break into tears, so it's funny i'll let it slide. i insist that having mitsuru be overwhelmed by girls all the time doesn't give the vibe of the "all boys dormitory life" that most of the series tries to push forward, but only some of them wouldn't hurt too much, i suppose.

we arrive to the final volume, as well as the last episode. had you been reading and watching these alongside, you would have a decent grasp of all the activities these people have gotten involved with. the thing is that, the 6 ova episodes released some time after the manga was already finished, meaning that it's not like anyone actually expected you to go back and forth between each other. it would be impractical to do so anyway without knowing what actually gets adapted and not. i've seen people mention that the way these episodes are formatted makes it so only a fan of the original manga would be able to enjoy it, with how much time is skipped between each one. i can't really agree with this point, as it is very much structured in the normal episodic anime way, only with some details here and there that probably don't end up being super clear since they weren't addressed but don't actually hinder the overarching narrative or actual character interactions. after all, these dynamics work well enough on their own to be used in whatever situation they get in. it's not that the manga does not do this, but it often feels like they're there to fill time rather than to simply entertain. more often than not, the chapters feel disorganized, same-y and as if they don't have any major purpose to be there than simply "what if x thing happened". it happens, and it's over. probably not inherently a bad thing, i guess it's a matter of presentation after all. ironically, the manga may just feel like more targeted towards fans than the adaptation, as it really takes a long while for these relationships to grow and develop. if i get too many details, it'll get stale and won't feel like i'm really learning much until something major happens. if i just get the core elements, i can build the gaps myself. less can definitely be more. dudes will be dudes, after all.

in that regard, the episode starts with kazuya helping out at mitsuru's house. the place used to be a bigger temple, but over time the land was reduced and the place isn't what it used to be. not a big deal for them though, as they still maintain the place. it's a nice family of 4. mother, father and siblings. sho, mitsuru's younger brother is only a few weeks younger than him, as by the time they found mitsuru outside their house, it had already been a little bit since he was born.

adoption is usually treated as a careful subject matter, but i don't really think it should be. throughout the manga, mitsuru has his moments of doubting himself, his past, where he comes from and his family. he cares about them and they care about him, specially his brother, but there's always a weird air to it. since he is the older son, he would be the one to take over the shrine, which he's not really sure if he wants to do himself. his mother makes sure to tell him that he doesn't need to worry about it, he should just do whatever he wants to do. his brother misses him, but he needs to focus on himself too. sho seems to be angry at him because mitsuru mentions how he is trying to go live on his own as soon as he can. this is where we get a little bit iffy.

from what i am able to gather, mitsuru feels indebted to his family. they aren't blood related, so sure, he loves them but he knows that they had no right to take him in and they did anyway. it's not that they actually show any sign of it being a pain on them or anything, he is just a son to them. i suppose he feels bad for taking his brother's spot for the shrine, but he doesn't even need to take the place if he doesn't want to. so, in the end, "wanting to leave home as soon as possible" is kinda just a normal thing i believe. i mean sure, deep down it's probably because he doesn't want to be more of a burden, and even if he's not he still wants to make their life easier. this is fine. he makes it such a bigger deal than it should ever be, though. his brother gets pissed at him and his response is "i'm not trying to be an outsider, i am an outsider" my guy what are you saying. kazuya goes as far as to ask him if he ever thinks of his blood related parents and he says no, so what is even his deal? mitsuru wonders to himself if you can still be family even if you aren't blood related, kazuya says that it's love that matters. unfortunately this is literally where this ends and it will never be brought up again or be concluded, because miya appears in front of them. it's unfortunate that it doesn't really get any closure, i feel exploring the meaning of family, specially with kazuya's situation being a thing, could be a really cool addition to the series. nevertheless, it doesn't happen. mitsuru just says that, he feels like he has to leave home as soon as he can, his brother doesn't like this mentality, and that is it. not even the manga chooses to explore this further, that's all there is.

they bump miya and his boyfriend tenma on their way back to the dorms, kazuya still sees that expression in her face, as if she's about to cry but she's holding back. now before getting ahead of ourselves this guy isn't abusing her or anything, he is kind of just a dude. not the best dude, but a dude nonetheless. miya has been wanting to say thanks to kazuya for a while, but she never gathered the courage to go visit him and say thanks. she would go nearby the school and then run away, never sure herself of why she was doing that. this time with the opportunity right in front of her, the only thing she manages to say is "i'm sorry". inevitably, this almost kills kazuya and gets him sick for a couple of days.

"sorry" doesn't really cut it. sorry for what? she didn't do anything. kazuya decides to give her a call after his brother convinced him to. his counseling is essentially: "you shouldn't care about the other guy, focus on yourself", which is fair enough i suppose, but i think a situation like this is very much gonna depend on who you're talking about. kazuya doesn't want to ask a girl with a boyfriend out, no one wants to be the guy that steals someone else's girlfriend really. but you know, there's something going on here too, as she doesn't seem particularly happy with him either. i think this brother bonding is a good moment for the two of them, although not the most particularly touching. kazuhiro is a fun guy, he is confident and he would do anything he needs to get the girl he loves (he did, after all, get the girl his own brother loved). it does come off as a little weird piece of advice from his part, but it works in context so that's all he needs to call her. she does, however, say sorry again and hang up instantly.

"i heard hasukawa got rejected by that delinquent girl", no! he hasn't even said anything to her! so the guy decides to wait outside her school to see her. he stays for a week until he finds out she was hospitalized, they find where she's staying and she's already gone. he sends her a letter but tenma grabs it before she can read it. luck is never on his side. persistence, however, never fails. a little bit of a bizarre thing here, tenma explains how "you need a special permission from their parents to date the girls from this school" which i don't - know, if it's a real thing or not in some japanese schools and honestly i don't even feel like looking it up right now. they both leave and run away from kazuya, leaving him alone.

then, on their way home:

which is an excellent moment, although my favorite part of this is how loud the trains are it's so funny to me i can't even begin to explain. tenma is a bit of a self centered prick, he mostly shows off his nice side but he's the guy that wants things to go his way all the time, you know. he didn't particularly do anything wrong, he's just a bit of a toxic influence on miya. he's the reason she became a delinquent so maybe he would care about her more (or get scared and dump her), he's the reason why she doesn't feel loved or particularly pretty, he's the reason why she's so sheltered. having a guy like him that won't let you do the things you want, always holding your hand and trying to keep you "safe" isn't part of a healthy relationship. kazuya is the one that incites her into being herself, opening up, finding her strength and dealing with her weakness. "i'm with you", is what he replies to her once she tells him how he feels. it's about finding that person that will be there for you, the one that will always be around and, most of all, love you unconditionally.

the rest of the manga has a little bit of the aftermath and how the people at greenwood are doing. it, once more, doesn't stand out from the crowd. they're not bad chapters, they're fun. the story is already over, though. the final chapter is actually nasu drawing a bunch of reader requests she never got to do and kazuya inviting some of his friends over to show them around greenwood and work on a project (friends we have never ever seen nor have been mentioned before now, but whatever). here is greenwood in all its glory.

if you didn't care to read all of that, great. this is the tldr; greenwood is about finding that next opportunity. mainly in love, but in most things in life. the anime adaptation takes things in some fresher directions, streamlining the experience and focusing on what is important. in the span of 6 episodes we get to know these guys, what their deal is and how their relationship works and shapes who they are. some more than others, but meeting new people you care about and will be there for you when you need it (for better or for worse) is what makes us human, and what inevitably helps us grow as people. grow out of pains, grow into understanding others and what makes us who we are.

there's something special about the serenity behind it all that i can't quite put into words, hence why i didn't go into much detail. the backgrounds are often soft and share a clean palette with a watercolor texture to it that makes it feel like a never ending dream. compared to the manga in this case, nasu's art is nice and specially with the covers and colored pieces, but it does take a while for characters to particularly pop or look like themselves as they often suffer from the same face syndrome shoujo manga can be known for. color goes a long way into helping battle this. the manga does also often rely on jokes that maybe aren't as funny in the current age, so there's that too.

the music helps sell the impact of it all, with the magical orchestra that follows around the almost play like scenarios that overcome greenwood on a daily basis. as the subtitle reads "under the tree of memories", like looking back on the moments that mattered the most and shaped the future. the theme of greenwood echoing behind this feeling. some of the other songs they made for the show sell the fun of it all as well i'd strike a comparison with ocean waves considering it's the same director and the same guy doing the music, but i haven't actually seen that so there isn't anything i can mention.

in retrospect, 6 episodes isn't really a whole lot. there's 3 of them that center around some plot and then the other 3 are extra content that focus on whatever the hell they felt like. it's obviously not something for everyone, i'm not gonna come out and say this is a must watch or anything like that, only how i feel about things. stuff doesn't need to be deep, it can just be for self fulfillment. it's often the mindless things that get the most enjoyment out of me, being there to have a good time before anything else. exactly what they do here at any moment, picking out a day at random and making the most out of it. a day where any one of these bandits will get into trouble and they'll come out of it with a smile.

i could wish it was a bit longer. maybe add some of the chapters with the other boys at the dorms, add the part with kazuya's nephew and then him entering the track team and idk, maybe the one with mitsuru and his commercial to actually give an ending to his whole adoptive family thing. alas, this is what we get, and i will not complain.

had it been at a different point in my life i watched this, i probably wouldn't care as much. it speaks to a part of me i hadn't learned about years ago, and would probably only look back on fondly into the future. those things that happen and make you rethink stuff for a good while and, in turn, open your horizons. so, feeling identified with media and connecting with stuff is a bit of what we do this for, i think.

[ultimatetornshipper]

To bee or not to bee - a Jasonette fic

@moonlitceleste I almost let this die, I honestly really wanted it dead but alas it was clearly meant to bee 

(WARNING: contains puns, angst, crack and fluff. You have been warned)

If you don’t want to read my sarcastic/funny/fangirl commentary, skip the brackets

I have another bee movie au, i didn't plan it ("I don't claim to be proud. But my head won't be hung in shame. I didn't plan it. But the light turned red, and I ran it. And I'm still standing. It's not what I wanted, but now that it's right here. I understand it. A story written by my own hand" as quoted from Waitress), it just happened and i just couldn't resist. I'm not sorry

So what if instead of dying Joker turned Jason into a bee. Because Harley convinced him and told him that people were talking shit about him because he's named the Joker and they don't think he's funny. It surprisingly works. (Obviously Harley was the one who made the plan and did the magic I mean really what do u expect of Joker?)

Ok so now Jason’s a bee right? And he’s like 15 because .~:°*plot*°:~.

They look for him and Jason’s like flying around like, “Guys! Guys I’m right here!” Poor kid. (I mean I would make it funny but like angst)

Obviously they don’t understand him because he’s a fucking bee and Joker cackles madly and Harley laughs too but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes and it's kinda that laugh u do when ur supes overwhelmed and sound maniacal but like soft (I’m a simp for Harley being portrayed as the complex and beautiful character she id leave me be)

Jason is very sad. And also quite pissed

Not knowing what else to do he follows Batman home, he listens to them trying to find him, watches Dick freak out and Alfred wipe a tear the rest of the family doesn’t see.

Jason tries to approach Alfred, hoping he somehow recognizes what happened

He doesn’t, Alfred closes him in a glass and paper and takes him outside.

He sneaks back into the manor and sleeps in one of the flowers (it's a red tulip because aesthetic) next to his bed. He cries himself to sleep. (Can bees cry? Is this possible? Is this like a thing??? I don't need sleep i need answers)

The thing is even tho he's now a bee, he still has the durability of a human, so even stepping on him won’t crush him and he still has a human lifespan

Because Harley isn’t a monster and what Puddin didn’t know couldn’t hurt him. (Simping for Harley Quinn strike 2)

After a while at the manor and following them he decides he can’t stand it anymore. Alfred has thrown him out three times and Dick freaks out each time he sees him as he’s a tad allergic (read: he would die if stung)

Which is how Jason found out that getting hit with a newspaper wouldn’t kill him.

He leaves.

He’s a bee and it’s not like he knows about a way to reverse it.

But there was someone who might.

He goes to Arkham.

Luckily, Harley was still there. (YAY we get to see mah gurl)

He flies into her cell and she just watches him, then she seems to click. She gives him a small smile, “Hi birdie,” (she puns, honestly would make for a better clown of Gotham and I saw an idea for that once where she steals Joker’s title once and I’ve been yearning for it ever since)

She holds out a finger and he lands on it, she laughs but tears come to her eyes,” Hey at least you’re not dead. That was his original plan you know? To kill you with a crowbar. I convinced him this would be a cruller fate. I guess maybe it is, but at least this way... Ugh how the hell did I get here,” (Harley angst, honestly it’s all just self service at this point)

He simply stared at her as she cried, and he felt his heart clench. From here she looked so sad... not crazy, just broken.

She took a deep breath and looked at him seriously, “Look kid, there’s a way to get you back to normal, you just need to find someone, they’re called the Guardian of the Miraculous. They can help, I don’t know who or where they are, just follow your instincts. And come say hi when you get back, yeah? I could do with the... healthier company. And remember, I bee-lieve in you,” (Gasp what a shock, you mean to tell me Miraculous magic is gonna be involved in this Maribat au. Well I never what a shock. Also puns. Oh and she’s so nice to him. We love Harley in this house)

He sat there and studied her for a while more, there was more to her than it seemed. Than what he’d assumed.

But for now, he had his own problems to deal with.

She gave him a small wave as he left. (Adorable)

He left and started considering his options, as a bee, it would probably be safest to stay inside, away from birds and things that would view him as a snack.

Staying in Arkham seemed like his best option, as bad an option as it was.

Most of the prisoners wouldn’t have a second thought about trying to crush him.

A strong scent of flowers and plants suddenly came to his attention.

Of course! Poison Ivy. (Round 2 of me simping for beautiful, complex, badass women. Too bad Catwoman ain’t here.)

He followed the smell to her cell and saw her staring out of her small window. He was still taking a chance, but she loved plants and flowers and bees were important to those, weren’t they?

He flew to the window bars and sat on one. The moment she spotted him she smiled widely, in a soft way he hadn’t seen on her before. (Ahhhhh my darling plant redhead. I love writing the Sirens as soft badasses. Also has anyone noticed how rare brunettes are in superhero worlds? Like both in Marvel and DC but like irl brown is like a pretty damn common)

She held out her finger, “Hey there, little guy. A little far from home, aren’t we?”

She had no idea.

He landed on her fingertip and watched in awe as a flower and a few leaves formed on her hand. She let the flower grow itself around one of her window bars and held her finger next to one of the petals.

“There you go, it’s all I can manage with my power dampers. I haven’t had company in a while,” she said softly as he crawled into the flower. He made himself comfortable.

She laughed to herself and he saw her shaking her head, “Talking to a bee, well, I guess stranger things have happened,” (yeah ur crush is dating a green haired murderous psychopath and you get beat up by a billionaire in a batsuit on like a biweekly basis)

The flower was soft and warm and felt safer than he expected it to. He found that he could move between the petals but decided to curl up in the middle. (It's a pink rose this time because fuck yeah flowers)

He slept better than he had in days.

The next morning he took his leave, stopping only at the manor to say a mental goodbye.

Then he headed off.

Jason flew a lot the first few months, our boy was smart at least, travelling with a cruise ship on its way to Europe.

It was Spring in the Northern Hemisphere so he had until Autumn until it was in his best interest to head south to avoid the snow. He decided to head towards Africa when summer started coming to an end. (I have no reasoning for this, just that I want to)

His first spot would be the United Kingdom. Then he'd go through the rest of Europe following his instincts.

At least it was Spring.

Jason diligently searched through England, Scotland and Ireland but found nothing.

By the time he was done he realized it was time to start heading South. He’d decided to take another cruise to South-Africa, where it would be summer, he searched through the country until April. He would admit that he didn’t feel drawn to anything in any of their 9 provinces so his search wasn’t as diligent as in England. He didn’t feel anymore drawn to the neighbouring countries like Namibia or Botswana either.

(Once again no reasoning for why I picked these countries, I mean the French Hugonotes went there when they were fleeing from the French Catholics who wanted them dead so I guess I could make up some bullshit about Mari having an ancestor in common with someone there or maybe it was just the ship he could easiest get access I don’t know, you make something up)

Which was why he decided to go back to Europe as soon as April hit.

He hitched another ride on a cruise headed for France.

It’s been a year since he got turned into a damn bee.

He was sixteen now and while he’d seen some amazing things all through South-Africa (a place that proves that humans really do have a weirdly obvious way of naming things I mean the Amazon river and Chad Lake are just more examples really) as well as the United Kingdom, all he really wanted was to go back home, to be human again.

When he gets there he diligently makes his way through France, eventually arriving in Paris.

He lands on the tip top of the Eiffel Tower. As in the point of the antenna because why not.

During his year he realized that birds and other animals tended to avoid him, sensing his strangeness so that was at least one positive.

He stared out over the city. Well, the one good thing about this was definitely the views he’s been allowed to see.

That was until a massive explosion hit.

“What the fuck?” he said out loud, searching for the source. No one understood him, human or bee, but talking to himself reminded him of his humanity.

He found the source of the explosion but just as he started flying to its general direction, a blinding white light shone followed by a horde of ladybugs that were fixing everything that was wrong. (Imagine how scary this would lowkey be irl tho? Just a shit ton of Ladybugs descending on Paris my dude)

He decided that he needed a night’s sleep before he could even begin an attempt at deciphering what had just happened. He flew lower, finding a nice little balcony right above a bakery. And it had flowers. (I’ll give u five seconds to guess who this balcony belongs to)

He flew down, exploring.

He turned around when he heard a loud thump from behind him. What appeared to be a super heroine in red spandex with black spots had landed on the balcony.

She detransformed and started to talking to a floating bug- fairy thing. Strange. Though it wasn’t like he could judge, as an ex superhero sidekick who was thought to be dead but was actually a bee.

She disappeared down her trapdoor and he made himself comfortable in one of her flowers.

He slept soundly until somewhere during a night another thump woke him. He looked out of his sleeping spot to see a cat superhero stand on her balcony. He leaned down and knocked on her small trapdoor.

Ah, a teammate of hers, they were probably meeting about something, he thought as he heard her open up.

It didn’t take him long to realize that even though they were teammates, the cat, Chat Noir he later learned, was not aware of this fact.

Oh this was rich.

He couldn’t bee-lieve his eyes. (ok so Jason used self-referential puns but can you really blame him? It’s really just me and my pun problem so don’t blame the kid)

He was going on and on about his feelings for Ladybug, the girl’s hero form, that were clashing with his feelings for another girl he fenced with, while she listened, clearly fed up with it.

He also claimed that he thought that maybe they were one and the same. Which, to Jason, was hilarious as he was literally saying this to the actual Ladybug’s face.

Marinette- he learned from the Cat’s ongoing blabbering, he was a real blab-bee mouth, - was clearly tired, nodding half asleep, probably having heard it all before.

When he finally left Jason went to sleep again, incredibly amused and even more thankful that he was fluent in French. ( u think this is plot convenience? Just u wait mah dude iz about to get worse)

The next morning he decided to follow her to school. Which was how he learned of her huge crush on a boy named Adrien Agreste.

After learning the boy could fence thanks to Marinette’s obsession interest in him, he got suspicious.

Could it really bee? (not a typo)

After seeing the boy transform a month or two later for patrol he laughed like he hadn’t for over a year. It very much was. He'd spent the time staying on Marinette's balcony and decided to stay another week before moving on and continuing his search, after all, he couldn't stop now that he finally felt like he was getting close.

The next day she got home crying, claiming that Adrien had started dating someone else.

Kagami, she called the girl. Probably the fencer if he had to place a bet.

“I’m sorry, Marinette,” Tikki told the girl.

“That boy's an idiot,” he said, speaking his mind, another thing he’d gotten use to being allowed to do without consequence.

Marinette nearly jumped out of her skin, she looked around and he realized that she could hear him. He hadn’t really spoken too much before, at least not when she was around. He was usually content with watching her do whatever she was doing that day.

“Tikki, did you hear that?” she asked, Tikki nodded, her eyes landing on him.

“Oh,” the kwami said softly, flying over to him, “Oh, you poor thing, who did this to you?” (Tikki is the first ever mom friend and u can fight me on this)

He stared up at her, flying so that they were eye level.

Marinette gaped at them, heartbreak seemingly forgotten, “Tik- Tikki, are- who are you talking- are you talking to a – Tikki is that a bee?!” she finally spluttered out.

“No,” Tikki said, studying him, he felt his heart twist in hope and his stomach roll in surprise. Did she know?

“I mean yes, but no. He’s a boy whose been turned into a bee,” Tikki explained, turning back to Marinette.

“Oh,” Marinette said softly, turning to him. She held her hand out and after some hesitation he landed on her finger. She looked at him then back to Tikki.

How did they know? Would he really be that lucky? Was this real?

“Uhm, how?” she said, staring at him in disbelief. He tried shrugging but realized he couldn’t anymore- beecause of his- well if you haven’t caught on to the fact that he’s a bee by now you should really start from the beginning of this story.

“I don’t know, but Joker and Harley Quinn were involved,” he said.

Marinette stared at him in disbelief, blinking a few times. She sat in shock a few moments longer. (Our darling is an awkward lil bean, and while in media awkward is portrayed as cute, irl it isn’t, it’s just well… awkward. And we’re writing a serious and realistic fic about this sidekick of guy who wears a batsuit/billionaire's ward getting turned into a bee and falling in love with a magical girl fighting a butterfly man- none of this unrealistic nonsense)

Tikki flew over and sat on Marinette’s shoulder while her holder processed the information, the kwami stared at him sweetly, “What’s your name?”

He swallowed, he hadn’t said his name in ages, it stirred up something (emotion, it’s called emotion, Jason, you know? The thing Batman can’t process??) in him, “Jason Todd,”

Marinette seemed to finally snap out of her daze, “That sounds American. Are you American? Wait if Joker and Harley are involved then you’re probably from Gotham. Are you? Wait I’ve seen the name Jason Todd somewhere. Weren’t you some rich guy’s ward? It was all over the news last year, Alya wouldn’t stop talking about it for a month, she had a million theories. He was – you were announced dead two months after Robin was taken captive by Joker, everyone thought he was – you were killed. Joker made outrageous claims as they arrested him... saying that they’d never find Robin... that he’d all but disappeared in thin air... that he wouldn’t be the only one wearing stripes... I remember because he put a really weird emphasis on the words be and stripes and...,” her eyes widened and she gasped as she looked at him in what could only be described as pure shock. (Yes this happens, people can talk for this long and since I personally know headcannon that Marinette is ADHD this long ass paragraph is just another Tuesday bud)

He sat there, surprised that she figured it all out so quickly. (yeah bub it’s called plot convenience and it’s because of me, the writer, I don’t wanna focus on secret ID shenanigans, I got other plans for yall, also Mari is smart, don’t underestimate her)

“You’re Robin,” she breathed, “they turned you into a bee. Wait- How the hell did they turn you into a bee?!”

He chuckled, “Bee-lieve me I’ve been asking myself that question for more than a year,”

She bit her lip, seemingly contemplating his words and ignoring his pun, “Tikki do you know anything that could help? Do you think Miraculous magic-,”

He felt his heart stop, he flew up to her face, flying at eye level, “Wait, did you just say Miraculous? Harley said if I could find the Guardian of the miraculous, they could help me, do you know where they are? I’ve been looking for so long,” (‘°;~*.plot convenience.*~;°’)

Marinette blinked at him and Tikki's face dawned with realization.

“I’m the guardian of the miraculous,” Marinette said softly, “Tikki, that means I can help him, right?”

Tikki nodded and he had to dial down the hope in his heart because the look on her face told him there was a Kim Kardashian sized butt on the way.

“We can help him, but we’re gonna have to wait. (don’t look at me like that, do u want them to have time to bond or not?) You’re not trained enough to pull it off yet. If you were to do it now, all three of us would be out of commission for far too long, especially with Hawkmoth on the prowl,” Tikki said.

They must’ve been able to sense his sadness because they were staring at him with an incredible amount of pity. The amount was quite unsettling actually and he suddenly felt a primal like urge to pun. (An extract from my book: “My unhealthy coping mechanisms and how to use them,” specifically Chapter 8: “Humor hides the pain”)

Suddenly Tikki’s face lit up, the whiplash of her expression change throwing any notion of punning out the window.

“Well, there’s one thing we could do,” she said, excitedly, zipping buzzing around “If he wears a miraculous, he'll return back to human form while transformed,”

Marinette perked up at the idea, but confusion soon overtook her features, “But Tikki, most of the miraculous are bigger than he is,”

Tikki waved her away,” It’s fine it’ll work,”

“Ok,” Marinette said after a bit of thought. She stood and he followed while she started climbing down her skylight,” I’m thinking you can try each of them out for different patrols and then we’ll see which one matches you best. This could be fun, having some fun sized company while figuring out how to defeat Hawkmoth,”

He laughed, flying near her ear, “Fun sized, huh? I’ll have you know I’m considered tall in human form, unlike some of us,”

She laughed and rolled her still tear stained eyes, and so, the beginning of a bee-autiful friendship bloomed.

Marinette walked to her closet and Jason took in her room. It was very pink, but in a well-balanced way - it wasn’t completely overbearing. His eye caught on a few pictures of Adrien Agreste on her wall but figured now wouldn’t be a great time to bring it up. (Look he’s already more emotionally aware, #foreshadowing of character development)

She removed a big box from her closet. She opened it and it was filled with what appeared to be a bunch of scrap materials. At the bottom she removed a bigger bundle of black and red fabric and he flew closer.

She put it in her lap and Jason had to do a double take when he realized that her hands were glowing and what the actual fuck- it was a box now -fuck fuck fuck- why was it a box? How? What- Jason was pretty sure he did not sign up for this.

She put the box down in front of her and to his relief she opened her mouth to speak as she lifted the lid, so he’d understand everyth- and its jewellery.

The box contained jewellery. Animal themed jewellery by the looks of things.

He then realized that these were probably the other miraculous.

She looked over each artefact before handing him the yellow and black hairclip.

Out of all of them, she picked the bee miraculous.

“Hilarious,” he replied dryly, giving her a look, he realized too late she wouldn’t be able to register- on account of, well you know… (if u don’t know by now, you don’t get to find out anymore)

She gave him a grin and replied, “I certainly think it is,”

Her teasing expression turned into one of worry, “I mean we could switch it out if it makes you uncomfortable-,” (being a sassy people pleaser with no filters really do be like this tho)

He laughed, “Don’t worry, I’m only teasing. What do I do?”

Marinette opened her mouth to answer before obviously realizing that she didn’t have an answer. She turned to Tikki and the kwami had a fond smile on her face before turning to Jason. (Just Tikki casually mentor- moming Mari because Fu is useless)

“Just step on the miraculous, it’ll sense that you’re human,” the creature replied.

When he stepped onto the bee miraculous, its kwami appeared.

Pollen stared at him for a few seconds before she realized what was happening.

After an explanation about her power set and what exactly he could do in suit, he transformed.

He felt his human body appearing. He was taller and more built than he remembered being. His flying clearly had physical consequences then, not that he was complaining.

His suit included a pair of bee wings. His hair was longer than he remembered it being too.

He had a black leather jacket and combat boots. With it was a pair of practical black leggings and a yellow t-shirt with three thick black stripes. (The three stripes represent each one of his families, the Todds, the Waynes and The Dupain-Chengs, because I can) He also had a pair of black gloves. His boots had yellow laces. On his face was a black and yellow striped domino mask. The top sat on his hip. The bee miraculous sat on the middle of his chest in the form of a broach.

He all but sprinted to the mirror. He stared at his face, his blue eyes and his nose that never healed quite right after breaking it that one time. His black hair was messy and stuck up every which way, his cheekbones were as high as always, and he had a little bit of stubble and it was so familiar and so new all at once.

He touched his face, barely registering the tears flowing down his cheeks and laughed in relief. He was human again. This was real! He could- he was closer to normal than he ever thought he’d get to be.

He turned to Marinette who was staring up at him in shock. He picked her up and spun her around, laughing in joy. And after a moment she joined in. He put her down and put his hands on her shoulders, smiling widely, “Thank you. Thank you so much,”

She smiled up at him, a slightly sad look on her face, “I’m sorry, it’s not permanent,”

“Don’t be sorry. For the first time I have hope. It will be permanent eventually, and till then, I have you with me, right?” he squeezed her shoulder, still high on the feeling of hope and warmth and familiarity.

When he was overcome with the sudden urge to pull her into a hug, he didn’t resist.

He held her close, resting his chin on her head, “Damn, I missed this. Hugging, I mean. I haven’t... it’s been so long,” (not that he got all that many hugs from Bruce “emotionally constipated” Wayne)

She wrapped her arms around him, “I can imagine,”

They stood there a while before the time for patrol came along. She transformed and they made their way to the Eiffel tower, where they met Chat.

The cat themed hero rose his brow questioningly, “I thought we didn’t recruit new heroes unless it was an emergency?”

Ladybug smiled nonchalantly, “It’s Guardian business, he’s gonna be a permanent fixture in our team for at least a few months so we might as well get used to working as a team,”

Chat Noir eyed him wearily and he stepped forward, sticking his hand out, “Hi, I’m Blackback, nice to meet you,”

Chat Noir shook his hand and gave Ladybug a sceptical look, “An American? Really?”

“Please Chat, he's not American, it’s just the glamour hiding his actual accent,” she replied simply, shooting Jason a worried look.

He couldn’t give away his identity, but he was also technically a bee, he didn’t really have an identity to give away. So, her behaviour was strange. Unless she wanted to give him an identity somehow?

He couldn’t stop thinking about it for the rest of patrol.

When they got home Marinette revealed that she wanted to give him the fox miraculous. If they asked Trixx she would be able to design the costume in a way that allowed him to look like a normal civilian, without the mask.

Trixx's glamour was also stronger than the rest so his true identity as Jason Todd would be protected.

And she could help him fake an accent.

Since Marinette was a year younger than him he could just pick up where he left off school wise.

She convinced her parents that he was an exchange student in desperate need of a place to stay because the person he would’ve stayed with backed out last minute.

They agreed easily and Jason decided to not question it.

It was his third family. His second if you only counted non abusive ones. First if you wanted one with a healthy family dynamic.

They got him a fake birth certificate and name. He went with the alias Thomas Grayson. He thought it was kind of funny, and it paid homage to both Bruce and Dick. It gave him something from home to hold on to. (Jason isn’t really salty about not being avenged in this au, he didn’t die and Talia and the pit madness wasn’t there to egg on his anger. But maybe if I ever get back to this au we could do a thing with it… guess we’ll have to wait and see ;-) no promises tho)

He built himself another home with Marinette and her family. And before he knew it, he was happy again. He felt secure.

Through the weeks, he ingrained himself into Marinette's life. In a blink of an eye, they were best friends, and he couldn’t imagine life without her.

He loved living with her family as she trained to be strong enough to turn him back to normal.

He grew close to Marinette’s friends and was her shoulder to cry on about Adrien. He and Adrien got along pretty well, and he and Marc and Rose traded Literature jokes. Max would join in when it involved Shakespeare.

Then Lila happened. (She’s a staple in Maribat fiction. U can’t have Maribat without Lila. Or well u can but that’s usually a very specific au)

Her lies started out simple enough. Then she started manipulating everyone and he, Marinette, Chloe and Adrien were one scheme away from being ostracized. They sat in the back row.

They ignored her sneers and let her lie to her heart’s content. Then one day she said something that made both Marinette and Jason freeze.

“You know, I was childhood friends with Jason Todd (I know she usually gets the names wrong but like her knowing the name just makes this next bit better) You know, Bruce Wayne’s ward who died a while ago? It was just so sad. He grew up in a nice family but his parents both died in a car accident and Brucie took pity on him. He even let us keep in contact afterwards, since our parents were such good friends. We all miss them dearly of course. We were neighbours the year we lived in Gotham, you know? We'd play every day-,” she started fake crying, “Oh it just gets too much sometimes,”

But to Jason’s shock Alya didn’t move to console Lila, in fact, she was staring at the brunette in shock.

He turned his gaze to Marinette to see the girl wearing the biggest, coldest, most satisfied smirk. She rested her chin on her hands and grinned at Lila in a way that made shivers go down his spine.

He turned back, this ought to be good.

And it was.

Alya absolutely lost it.

She ripped Lila a new one and frankly? Jason was impressed. (Alya has a temper and she’s a fangirl, and we all know how we get when someone gets something wrong about one of our hyperfixations, even if it’s an old one so like yall can imagine how bad Lila had fucked up)

When an akuma flew in towards Lila, Alya grabbed it, staring the girl down with a fury he didn’t know she could possess, “Don’t you dare! Do you think I’m blind? I’ve seen how easily you get akumatized and this time I’m not letting it happen!”

Of course, Alya then got akumatized but hey it beat another version of Lila.

Everyone made up but they weren’t quite as close as before. Their group tended to consist mostly out of him, Marinette, Chloe, Adrien, Kagami and Luka.

Other than that incident and akuma attacks, life was pretty good.

In fact, it was great.

He and Marinette would spend nights on her balcony, laughing and slow dancing. They star gazed and went on patrols. He helped her when she got nightmares and she returned the favour. They went on long walks and spent the holidays together. They crammed for tests and he played model for her designs. They worked in the bakery and hung out with their friends both in and out of suit. They’d joke about his technical bee-ness and he and Chat drove her mad with puns. In retaliation she’d introduce him as her bee friend to people or only give him honey and bee themed things. (ok this sentence sounds weird but I mean like when she brings them sweets from the bakery to snack on while working and stuff.)

And one laugh, memory and fight at a time, he started to fall. (I just want good things for Jason, and really can you blame me?)

Through the months, he kept up to date on the news about Bruce Wayne and Marinette held his hand each time a new kid joined his brood. She reminded him that no child could be replaced and reassured him that of course Bruce would want him back when they figured everything out.

And if he didn’t, she’d kick his ass into space, and he’d stay with her family in Paris- a family she made sure he knew he was a part of.

He helped Sabine in the kitchen and was the only one who came closest to beating Marinette’s Ultimate Mega Strike 3 record. Tom taught him to shave and bake. He was integrated into their family and they treated him as part of the family.

But even if they were giving him everything they were, he missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. And Barbara. And Gotham. He missed them all so much. He missed home.

So, 14 months later, when Marinette told him they had a meeting with the Justice League about the Hawkmoth situation, Jason felt his heart skip a beat.

“What?” he asked softly, his eyes brimming with tears (Marinette taught him how to emotion, you see. So Jason is emotionally stable-ish enough to cry without feeling embarrassed about it), “I get to see him again?”

Marinette nodded and hugged him from behind, “I’m planning on telling him what happened. Is there anything you can tell him to verify who you are?”

Memories from a million years ago entered his mind, “Yes,”

She took his hand and took a step back, “And I think I can fix you before we go, I’m strong enough. But I’d still like your help in the final battle, I mean I know you’re going home but...,”

He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiled, “Of course, Pixie. I’ll always be there for you when you need me,”

He pressed a kiss against her forehead, a movement so familiar it was practically a part of him. He pulled her close and cried into her hair.

“What if he doesn’t believe me?” he asked softly, after a while, resting his chin on top of her head.

“He will,” she replied, tightening her grip around his waist.

They both knew she had no guarantee of that. That she had no way of knowing for sure. Neither of them did.  And it scared him more than he wanted to admit.

The next day they do the magic turning back thing. It freaks him out quite a bit but not as much as her revealing the miraculous freaked him out the first time, you get kinda used to the magic shenaniganary. They’re both passed out for an hour afterwards and when they wake up, he holds her, crying, because he was finally, finally back to normal and this was real and permanent, and it was over.

She cried with him and held him, and they then went out and he wore a shirt she made for him, and they got ice cream the next day. They celebrated some more and went to the park with the squad and they had a picnic.

It was better than he ever could've imagined.

While the sun was setting, they stood back on her balcony, where they first spoke all those months ago, slow dancing. He pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and smiled at her as the orange light of the sunset shone on them. (So aesthetic)

“Thank you, Marinette, for everything,” he says as he rubs his thumb across her cheek. His hand holding her face. She puts her hand over his and closes her eyes, savouring the moment.

She opened her eyes again and smiled, “I’d do it again and more, if it meant I’d get to be with you,”

He started leaning down, “If I lost you, I’d fly all over the world just to find you again,”

She raised to her tip toes, faces millimetres from one another, blue bells meeting ice, “So it was all worth it in the end?”

He moves closer, eyes searching hers. “Definitely,” he breathes.

She closes the distance, and he picks her up and spins her around. They break apart and their laughter fills the air.

(now that’s enough fluff, allow me to drown you in angst)

The next day they stood on the Eiffel tower. She took his hand, “Let’s recap. I go in, we have our Hawkmoth meeting, then I ask if I can speak to Batman and Nightwing alone. Then I tell them I found you, then I give them – are you sure it’s necessary for me to give them your blood, hair and a cheek swab? Isn’t that overkill?” (Batman is serious about his no kill rule, but he’s also serious about his there’s no such thing as overkill rule)

He shook his head and she sighed, “Okay. Then I give him means to contact me and I come back. Now remember they might take a while to process and they won’t necessarily call immediately-,”

“What if they never call?” he asked, gripping her hand tightly.

She ran her finger softly through his hair, “Then you have us to help you get through it,”

He nodded, she kissed his cheek and stepped through the portal with Queen Bee, Chat Noir and Viperion. He and Ryuuko stayed behind as backup, he wielded the Fox miraculous these days, but kept the name Blackback, always wearing a black leather jacket no matter the transformation.

He and Ryuko discussed fighting styles, she was kindly trying to distract him, and if it had been anything else he needed distracting from, it would’ve worked.

So passed the slowest forty-five minutes of his life. Chat Noir and Queen Bee exit a portal and so the wait for Marinette and Luka began.

She and Bruce were talking now. Bruce would know he was alive. This was make or break for him. Luka was nearby to act as back up worst-case scenario.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, followed by someone taking and rubbing circles on his back. He looked down to see Ryuuko on his one side and saw Chat Noir on his other.

“We’ve got you,” Chloe said standing in front of him, hand on his unoccupied shoulder.

He swallowed and nodded. She squeezed his upper arm and met his gaze, “Breathe, you’re safe, honey,”

So, 30 more minutes pass. They sit down and somewhere along the line Chat goes and grabs a dozen croissants from the bakery.

In another situation he might’ve laughed. He’d baked this morning’s batch and now he got to eat some of it for free, of course, technically he could get others for free too but-

The portal opened behind them and Ladybug and Viperion stepped out. He noted that she didn’t have the bag of his DNA with her anymore.

She smiled softly at him, “Now we wait,”

And wait they did.

They waited two weeks.

And then the burner phone that's number they'd given Bruce rang.

Jason froze, Marinette jumped up and ran to get it.

He couldn't move as she walked over and put the phone on speaker, she grabbed his hand and he held onto her for dear life.

"We can both hear you now, Nightwing," she said.

There was a beat of silence on the other side of the line, "Can he- If you're- can I speak to him? In- um- private?"

Marinette looked at him, and he nodded. She took the phone off speaker and handed it to him.

He held it up to his ear and squeezed his eyes shut, focusing on the circles Marinette were drawing on his hand with her thumb.

"He- hey Dick," he said. He heard his brother's breathing hitch, followed by a few seconds of silence.

"When did Batman find you?"

"25th May 2017,"

"Who's your favourite author?"

"Mary Shelley tied with Jane Austin,” he replied.

Dick stayed silent for too long and before he could stop himself the words fell from his mouth, desperation clinging to each syllable,” My favourite- my favourite playwright is Shakespeare, and my favourite school subject is English. If I could pick any day job it would be being a writer. My favourite colour is blue. Alfred has a secret fear of dolphins. You have had a ridiculously huge crush on Barbara for years and she had no idea, and I found a picture you drew under your old room's bedside table of you two getting married. I folded the picture up and hid it in a small box of memories I kept in the farthest corner of my closet under clothes I never wore. I have a round scar on the lower left side of my back where Willis Todd burned me with a cigarette when I was 5 that you don’t know I know you know about. My first Christmas at the manor you found me in the rose garden cutting a few off to take to my mother's grave and I was terrified that you would yell at me but instead you drove me to the graveyard and that was the day I decided to give you a real chance. I despise carrots but I eat them when Alfred makes them because I don't want to be a burden. And I-," he choked on a sob- when had he started crying?

He took a shuddering breath, and swallowed some of his tears, trying to make sure the words got out right, "I've missed you guys for every single second that I've been gone,"

His stomach tied itself up in a million knots as the silence stretched on. He could hear Dick moving the phone.

"Can I speak to Ladybug again please?" A female voice he didn't recognize said.

He handed the phone to Marinette and pressed his hand over his mouth to try to contain the sobs. He felt like a knife was twisting his stomach. He couldn't even hear what Marinette was saying. (I’m going through something irl and as a result u guys get to read angst by the bucketloads and I regret nothing)

Dick didn't want to talk to him. He should've just answered the question, he shouldn't have given all the extra information. Now they were never going to believe that it's really him and he would never see them again. Maybe they knew it was him and they just didn't want him-

"Jason, breathe with me," he heard Marinette's voice. His eyes latched onto hers like a lifeline, he became aware of her hands holding his.

She took his face in her hands and rested her forehead against his, in a motion so familiar that it came as easy as breathing. Well as easy as it usually was to breathe, right now excluded.

After he calmed down, she explained to him what they discussed. They would go to Gotham and meet and discuss things from there.

They wanted to meet him, but they still didn’t completely believe that it was him. He knew this for a fact because they had organized for M’gann to be there to confirm what he was saying. (Yassss M'gann my darling girl, I adore out lil Martian)

Marinette had suggested that they meet in the Batcave in an hour. Everyone had agreed. He assumed she had a plan as to why she wanted to wait. And he trusted her, so he waited for her to explain.

“I want to take the team, as backup. If you’re not comfortable with it, I want to at least take Luka. I would suggest just letting one of us wield is miraculous, but his Second Chance Timer limit is an hour so it would be most beneficial,” she said, gesturing with the hand that wasn’t holding his.

He nodded, sitting up straighter, but not releasing his grip on her hand, “We can bring the team, it’s smart to have backup. Besides if things go haywire, we have Luka to stop us.”

“Then let’s go get our team, love,”

(oh, I should probably mention that only he and LB knows everyone’s Identities. Or well rather no one knows like officially. Like everyone lowkey knows everyone's and a few of them have officially revealed themselves to each other, but not everyone is officially revealed to everyone and Mari and Jason are the only ones who aren’t officially revealed to anyone else, it’s kinda like the vibes of knowing your best friend is queer but not saying anything because they haven’t officially come out yet but like you know because they ain’t nearly as subtle as they think. Like that aesthetic.)

Anyway, 50 minutes later, they’re all gathered on the Eiffel Tower. Jason saw Marinette give Luka a nod to reset his timer. Suddenly he was enveloped in a light with a scratch that wasn’t there a few seconds before on his cheek, his expression quite annoyed.

Marinette immediately furrowed her brows, “How many times?”

Viperion shook his head, “Don’t worry, only one so far, but they try to restrain us. We’re gonna have to try plan b this time,” Everyone nodded, they waited two minutes before the agreed upon time and Mari opened a portal, but instead of appearing out in the opened, they hid in the shadowy parts of the cave.

Jason used his illusion to hide them from any observant eyes and they spread out a bit. He and Mari stayed together, Cloe flew to get a higher perspective and hide Viperion on one of the cave’s many ledges while Chat just moved a few feet away to have a slightly different hiding spot. Kagami dropped into her wind form and was flying above them to eavesdrop, she’d go to Luka if she heard anything of importance so he could go restart again.

They’d be one step ahead of the Bats no matter what they pulled, after all, they had all the time in the world.

They watched them all get into position as time neared. Jason didn’t know all the kids but recognized them from the news.

Dick, Bruce and M’gann stood near the bat computer with Barbara – who was in a wheelchair but that was a realization to deal with later- and Alfred.

The minute they were supposed to appear Jason cast another illusion to make it appear as though they had arrived. As expected, weapons and restraints immediately swarmed on them, each kid going for a different miraculous member. Too bad the images turned into orange dust as soon as they touched them.

The tiny one in the Robin uniform was red in the face and immediately started throwing a tantrum, “Father! They’ve tricked us-,”

Before he could get another word out, Chloe mass-venomed the horde of kids that we’re sent to attack them. He counted Black bat, Red Robin, Batgirl, Signal and Robin. They were all frozen in the middle of the room and before the others near the computer could move, Kagami trapped them in a (rather large) ring of fire. They had enough space to move around comfortably but if they tried approaching the edge the flames would grow larger.

Batman growled and his eyes searched through the cave, but he wouldn’t see them, no matter how hard he searched.

Jason stared at them. Dick was also searching the cave, but he seemed to look more hopeful than angry. Alfred seemed his usual calm self and Barbara was glancing around the cave more subtly. He didn’t bother looking at the rest of the batkids because M’gann was staring right at him, staying right where she was despite her ability to fly.

“Hi, Jason,” she softly spoke into his mind, he felt emotion overwhelm him, she’d known him before everything, and she knew it was him and it was a lot.

He knew she wasn’t probing around his brain for information like he was sure Bruce had asked her to, she didn’t have to, she knew it was him.

“Can you please tell me why we’re surrounded by fire?” she asked.

“We have a time traveller,” he replied.

“Ah, not a fan of Bruce’s restrain and question method, then? Can’t say I blame you, though I do think you’ve proven your point,”

“You really think it’s a good idea to release all of them?” he asked sceptically.

“… Good point. Maybe leave the brood in the middle in whatever frozen state they’re in and just let us in the fire out. They really just think it’s too good to be true… Jason, I won’t let them hurt you,”

“Okay,” he agreed softly. He turned to Marinette and gave her a slight nod. She returned with one of her own.

They walked over to Kagami’s ring of fire and he held their illusion until they were right in front of it. He held on to it for a bit to make sure everyone else would be able to stay in position. Chloe would keep the cavalry venomized and Chat and Viperion would stick to the shadows, unless necessary.

Jason dropped the illusion and watched four heads snap to him. M'gann simply gave him a soft smile and a nod of encouragement.

Kagami moved herself to stand next to Marinette and turned back into her human form, glaring at them with a silent warning.

Their attention was elsewhere, though. For a long time they just stood there and stared at one another in silence. They studied every part of one another they could see.

His eyes caught on Barbara’s wheelchair and he felt ready to destroy whatever put her there. She met his eyes and he held her gaze. She must’ve seen something there because she gave a small smile as she allowed a few tears to escape her eyes.

“Miss Martian?” Batman broke the silence like a cheap dinner plate, shattering it in a matter of seconds.

“It’s him,” M’gann answered without a hint of hesitation.

It was Alfred that moved first. He took a few hesitant steps towards him and before Jason knew it the man was in front of him. Alfred reached out and put a hand on his shoulder, desperately studying him for a moment before pulling him into a hug only Alfred could give.

It took Jason a moment to respond but when he did he returned it wholeheartedly.

After a few minutes they pulled apart and it took him a moment to realize that they’d both started crying. When he looked up Dick was only a few feet away. The moment Alfred stepped away Dick pulled him close.

“I thought you were dead, kid. I thought I’d never see you again, I thought I lost even more family. You were too young, too innocent. Fuck Jason,” Dick whispered, tightening his grip, “I’m so glad you’re alive,”

Jason held on to his brother and that night they cried about terrible endings and broken beginnings. They cried about lost time and found family.

It wasn’t the end yet, Hawkmoth was still terrorizing Paris and he had no idea what Bruce thought yet. There were all his other kids, his brothers and sisters. There were his teammates and the incredible story of how he’d been turned into a bee of all things.

They had a lot of catching up to do.

But just for a moment, a strand of a singular moment, he had his brother in his arms again and he was back home. His first real home.

Things weren’t perfect, as things rarely are but it didn’t matter. Because part of the beauty of life is how it builds and breaks us in a cycle of love and loss.

And that night they laughed with a lightness and joy none of them had fully been able to hold onto in years.

 I hope you guys enjoyed!

This is lowkey totally gonna be the au I go to when I don’t know what to write lol, maybe write a bit of what happens afterwards or a part of everything during the year he lived with Mari them or just y’know shenanigans

[brutal-nemesis]

Saltwater Day 2021: Dinner Date with an Eel 💕

Feel that ocean breeze, baby! Cries in lives in a very landlocked area I hope y’all are having some fun in the salty spray ✨Today we finally get to see a Castys misadventure that I’ve talked about in the tags before: the big boy drowning incident! So sit back, relax, and enjoy the agony <3

Castys Masterlist

Ingredients: drowning, animal attack, self harm to escape danger, sort of self amputation, gore, broken bones, suicide for convenience (immortal)

Castys had jumped off of higher cliffs before. Granted, he had done it because he was too lazy to walk to the bottom, and he’d landed on solid rock, and it had been very painful for all of two seconds, so this didn’t make him any less terrified of being shoved off of this one. And yes, that’s right, he was going to be shoved off of this one, into the crashing waves below, which was certainly how he’d planned on spending the morning. Nothing better to start the day than a pointless execution!

Oh, but why are you being executed, Castys, you’re so good and noble and also immortal so this isn’t going to work is it. No, no it’s not going to work. And Castys was being “executed” because, well...turns out people don’t take too kindly to finding out you’re the dreaded Pirate King Ragnarok. As usual, he’d fought and tried to get away, and as usual he’d failed miserably. So here he was, wrists chained together behind his back, ankles chained to a stupidly large rock, and a cloth tied tightly around his mouth.

He tried not to think about having to deal with this arrangement once he was underwater, which was something he was less than excited for. There was already quite a large crowd gathered so, hey, at least he was popular. Actually, scratch that, based on the looks he was getting, he was definitely unpopular. He shifted a bit, causing the men gripping his arms to tighten their grasp. He huffed, wishing he had the ability to tell them to chill the fuck out.

“People of Meruna, we are gathered her today for the execution of the notorious-“ oh my FUCK nevermind just push him off already this whole thing was already bad enough without a speech about all his crimes and whatever. Not that he didn’t love hearing about his exploits, because fuck if he regretted any of it, but the sun was hot and he was tired of standing. That water was going to feel so good...until it was filling his lungs ugh nope don’t think about it like that he was just going for a nice swim that’s all. He was going to be in the nice, cool water without any of these assholes glaring at him, and he’d get out of these chains somehow and come back in ten years and release all their goats and that would show them.

All of a sudden, the hands on him started to push him towards the edge of the cliff, a third guard rolling the rock he was chained to along using her foot. Fuck, fuck the speech was over they were doing it he was going over the edge he’d just been joking earlier he really didn’t want to even if the water would feel good he’d rather stand out here all day because that sure as hell was better than drowning over and over and over the edge the air was rushing by the top of the cliff was getting farther and farther away any second now he-

Castys screamed into the gag as he slammed into the cold water, wasting his last breath of air like an idiot before he started to sink beneath the crashing waves, pulled down by the boulder attached to his ankles. He could only squirm uselessly as he sank deeper and deeper, the soaked-through gag filling his mouth with the taste of saltwater, just to make things even more unpleasant. His arms were killing him, and, you know what, they took the brunt of the impact with the water, so they were probably fucking broken, weren’t they? At least they would heal after...after he drowned for the first time. Already his lungs were starting to burn, but thankfully the rock had finally hit the bottom, so he wouldn’t sink any further and therefore the painful pressure on his ears wasn’t going to get any worse, at the very least. 

Positives, positives, since he was probably going to be here for a while...it wasn’t so stupidly hot anymore, instead it was stupidly cold, and already his fingers were starting to go numb-nope, nope, not a positive, let’s try again. It was rather pretty down here, despite the fact that black spots were starting to cloud his vision, and also things were starting to get kinda...woozy, a little bit, a little, hell-o and goodbye, wasn’t it time now? Yeah, yes, the burning was too much it hurt hurt hurt everything was black and black was good bec-

He didn’t bother counting how many times he drowned. Maybe it would have helped pass the time or something, but, let’s be real, there were better things to focus on than how many times he’d experienced the horrible burning in his lungs and that awful lightheadedness. His broken arms had healed up, so that was something, but they were still very much shackled behind his back. If they were free he could at least get that stupid gag out of his mouth and try to fuck with the chain connecting his ankles to that dumb rock. He settled for looking around the underwater landscape surrounding him, glad that sunset was still a ways off. As far as he could tell.

When he could see and think clearly, it was kind of cool to be down here, circumstances aside. All sorts of fish, many of them varieties that he knew what they tasted like, swam around between the wavy water plants. There was even a really big lookin’ boy off in the distance that he’d seen out of the corner of his eye a few times, though it was coming closer now, and he was just starting to be able to make out...wait-was that a-great. Absolutely fantastic, just what he needed. A fucking shreilian eel. How dare he drown over and over in peace, no, no let’s add a vicious man-eating monster to the mix! At least he wasn’t bleeding, so the creature wouldn’t be immediately drawn to him. He’d get to keep his limbs intact for a little longer-wait wait wait. Okay that was absolutely crazy and sounds entirely unfun, but...it might just work.

Castys mustered as much strength as he could, ignoring the ever-present burning of his lungs, and began to clumsily bash himself against the nearby wall of stone. It was coated in barnacles and the like, but their sharp edges were just what he was looking for. Soon enough, he felt the awful sting of saltwater in the many small cuts that were now littering his arm. Fuck, that was nowhere near enough blood to get that eel over here, and his vision was starting to go dark. If he didn’t get that damn thing over here now he’d die and heal and have to do this bullshit all over again no no no get over here you stupid thing fuck yeah that feels like a nice gash it burns to high hell but so does everything and look at all that bloody water or maybe it’s just getting too dark because it is dark and...so...hurt…

When he came back to life, there was a small cloud of blood swirling in the water around him, but it was dissipating more and more by the second. He couldn’t see the eel anywhere, and if that bastard disappeared on him after all that...Instinctively, he tried to take a deep breath and ended up sucking a bunch of water up his nose like an absolute idiot, his nostrils now burning just as much as his even more waterlogged lungs. His body tried to cough, but it was just painful and useless like everything else he’d done while stuck down here, and he just ended up thrashing around like an injured fish.

Just what the eel had been waiting for.

It felt like he’d suddenly been hit by a mace, slamming him into the rocks, his arm lighting up with the pain of a thousand hot spikes, almost too intense for him to even process, the salty water magnifying every little agony tenfold. Castys was certain he would have been screaming if he had the air, and as much as this was absolutely fucking terrible, he hoped the eel would do it again. It had bitten off a good chunk of his arm as far as he could tell, but not enough to completely sever it and free him from the restraints. And for once, his horrid luck regarding avoiding pain paid off. The eel rammed into him again, ripping off more of his arm with its razor-sharp teeth and causing the bones of his forearm to crack. 

Sensing his chance, Castys grabbed the manacled wrist of his shredded arm with his good hand, bit down on the gag, and pulled. He couldn’t give up, couldn’t stop, not after enduring this much, he could feel his flesh tearing, sending out sparks of agony unlike anything he’d ever known, and he had to keep pulling, pulling and jerking and tearing and twisting and praying, praying that he could rip it off before he drowned again, which, hey, kind of a weird thing to want, not that he hadn’t had to amputate his own limbs before, but weird that it was happening again, and honestly, this hurt way more than the other times, but wasn’t that always the case-and fuck there was no way he was going to be able to just snap his bones like this, and he needed it to be completely severed, and there was no time, wedge it against the rocks and pull pull pull until there was a snap and a burst of unholy agony, so intense it almost smothered the relief, so fierce it made him forget he was drowning up until the moment his oxygen-starved brain lost consciousness. 

Castys’s arms were free. Well, one was free, and the other one was still manacled, attached to...what was left over after all that. He ripped the gag out of his mouth, resisting the urge to suck in mouthfuls of air that were absolutely not there. Looking down at his ankles, he wasn’t sure if-his body exploded with pain as the eel rammed into him again, taking a chunk of flesh from his side, which was definitely not where he wanted to be bitten. Gritting his teeth against the anguish that almost consumed him, he grabbed the wrist of his severed arm and clumsily smeared blood around his ankles, hoping it would entice the monster to attack them and help set him free. 

It worked, and it didn’t. The eel attacked him again and again, no longer pausing in between bites to circle him. Castys wasn’t even sure where it was biting him anymore, he just knew that everything hurt, the saltwater in his wounds magnifying the pain so much that there was no discernible source. He didn’t try to fight the eel off, hoping it would just do enough damage to his legs that he could get free, but he wasn’t sure if he could have even tried to get it away from him if he wanted to. Things were getting so dizzy so fast, all of a sudden, there was nothing to do but wait and die and hurt…

When he came back to life, Castys was disappointed to find that he was not floating to the surface. In fact, one of his ankles felt kind of weird, like it wasn’t shackled anymore, but still...for fuck’s sake. One of his ankles had been freed, torn enough to shreds before he’d died that the manacle had come off, but the other one was...well the manacle wasn’t around his ankle so much as it was…in his ankle. How the fuck that had happened, he had no clue. He just knew he had to deal with it. Looking around, the eel wasn’t anywhere to be seen, probably full to bursting after its meal, and though his heart sank a little at the thought that he couldn’t rely on it anymore, he was also slightly relieved, because that thing had been vicious. It had, however, left a parting gift. He swam downwards and grabbed the smooth fang off of the sandy ocean bottom, gripping it tightly. Just a little bit more. 

He had endured so much already, felt pain more intense, experienced sensations more gruesome, but this...this was more active than everything else that had happened down here. More visible. He had to make every stab and slice deliberately, had to watch the tooth do its damage, it wasn’t mindless bashing or praying he’d get bitten in the right places, but an active choice to cut his flesh away, inviting burning seawater into a wound once again, and it was difficult. Part of him wanted to stop, take a break, please, I don’t want to have to do this anymore, I want to let go, just for a little bit, please, but he knew he couldn’t, because he had to get this done before he drowned again or he’d have to start the whole damn thing over. 

Relief like he’d never known washed over him as he finally managed to worm the manacle out of his shredded ankle and he felt himself start to rise. The lightheadedness was getting worse, and he wasn’t sure if he’d make it in time, so he wormed his finger into the pouch around his neck and let the death stone’s magic take him before the lack of air could. He was still rising when he came back to, and he propelled himself towards the surface with renewed strength, despite the pain of his ears popping and the odd ache in his joints. 

Finally, blessedly, he made it to the surface, and air had never tasted so fucking good. Not that it wasn’t salty, but it wasn’t as salty as saltwater, and he sucked as much of it as he could into his waterlogged lungs. He looked up at the cliff towering over him, now painted with the orange of sunset instead of the gold of sunrise. He...he had been down there all day just...downing. And getting eaten. Kinda fucked. Seeing a nearby rock, he swam over to it and scampered on top, collapsing on its damp surface as he coughed up far too much fucking seawater. Fuck, his head was spinning and his joints hurt, like they probably would have if he could grow old. Well, nothing that one last death can’t fix, now that he was finally on land again.

Castys opened his eyes and sat up, feeling perfectly fine besides the awful, salty taste in his mouth. He looked over at the cliff smugly. Those bastards had tried to get rid of him for good, and they’d failed miserably. He folded down his middle fingers and placed his thumbs over them, a rude gesture in this part of the world. Seeing the remnant of his arm dangling from the manacle still attached to his left wrist, he had a devilishly gruesome idea. 

The next morning, the whole town was awoken by the screams of a young couple who had gone out for a stroll.

Right there, in the middle of the town square, was part of a crudely severed arm, its fingers frozen in an obscene gesture, its skin slimy and already starting to slip off. A manacle was clamped around its wrist, attached by a short chain to the other one, which had been broken open. 

The execution had failed, and that heinous pirate had escaped.

Castys Cult: @as-a-matter-of-whump​ @blackrosesandwhump​ @fanmanga1357-blog​​ @thehopelessopus​ @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi​ @hearse-song​ @muddy-swamp-bitch @whumpasaurus101 @yet-another-heathen​​ @galaxywhump​ @starnight-whump​ @his-unspoken-words

[tundrainafrica]

So I see your a LeviHan shipper!! I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite?? Maybe you could explain that a little through a list? But anyways I hope your week has been good so far, Sav. Have a good day/night!!!! - Signed by Your Secret Santa 🎄

Hello! Thank you for asking about my week (and my ship). 

I enjoy the ship a lot too!! But are there any specific reason that their your favorite? 

To answer that first question...

You’re in for a long rollercoaster ride of a rant because I don’t think I’m the type of person to ship anything to the point of writing domestic fluff fics unless the I felt really really drawn to the ship. 

Anyway, (slight) spoilers abound! Will keep manga spoilers subtle, mostly Levihan scenes.

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

1. The ship did not move the plot. The plot moved the ship.

Attack on Titan is not a romance or a shojo, if it’s not fairly obvious from any chapter you would randomly read. As a reader, I would have expected it to fall short with pairings. Most shows which are not romance based tend to have a few pairings which just suddenly end up together towards the end of the manga because “What’s a happy ending without marriage and kids?” There is usually a trend of just pairing of the extras and sometimes, or maybe even more often than not, it just seems to come out of nowhere (ehem... Naruto.). Maybe the relationship worked off screen but I dunno. Like no shipping war here but the only pairing I had full support for was Shikatema. 

In stories classified as romances, there is enough of a spotlight on the sexual tension and mutual pining of specific characters for the romance to be considered reasonable. In my opinion, some authors tend to sacrifice really good world building for a good romance. Objectively twilight for example had some crazy good world building but it just kinda focused a little too much on emo Bella and emo Edward for the world building to actually be appreciated by the casual reader. Tbh though, this is not necessarily bad because people get into stuff for reasons, sometimes, I just wanna read a good fantasy, sometimes I just wanna read a good romance.

Romances though as a main driving point for narratives, require some convenient serendipity moments and sexual tension which can be written well but as a reader, I prefer to see more natural relationships born out of necessity (Wall of Winnipeg and Me by Mariana Zapata is a good example of what I’m talking about in a romance novel.)

Attack on Titan through its narrative actually made Levihan seem VERY VERY possible. If I had to compare the presentation of this ship in canon to at least one relationship in other anime, I would compare it to Royai from FMA. 

Like, if Attack on Titan didn’t give us random subtle hints about romantic or just platonic relationships between the two or even about anyone, even if Levi and Hange did get together in the end, it would have been one of the pairings, I probably wouldn’t have raised an eyebrow at. 

But they could be just friends? Which brings me to my next point.

2. Their current situation makes it so it’s only natural that at the least, they considered it. 

Yes. Friends is a valid interpretation for anything. I mean, given our hook up culture, people can fuck as friends too. People probably have made out drunk as friends too. Like I have seen my fair share of this type of bullshit in high school and college and I would say, we do not need a kiss or a fucking session to recognize that something can be a good relationship or to recognize that they have probably thought about it. 

A relationship requires a commitment (conscious or unconscious) to caring for the other, keeping the other safe, recognizing their flaws and thinking about them regularly (Call me scott peck or marriage counselor but like I honestly think the world would be a better place once people recognize that quality romantic relationships are worked for).

Mind you, Levi and Hange lost everything.They literally lost everything from their old life, all their friends, all their loved ones and all they have is each other and they’re forced to take care of a bunch of kids.

There are people who have said before, no one gets very close with someone without ever considering a romantic relationship with them. Or even if they never considered it romantic, they could consider at least “living with them their whole life,” or “supporting them through thick and thin.” The things is, towards the end, they were constantly together and what drove them to that situation is that both of them are aware of what the other had lost. They understood each other more than anyone else and they recognized that they were the only ones left in their own circle and I personally think that is more than enough for a relationship to naturally bloom between them.

3. The relationship and the signs are subtle and it works.

I personally probably would not have enjoyed it if canon showed a romantic relationship of the two after Erwin died. It’s a valid interpretation to consider that it could have happened, based on my explanation for number 2 but Hange is commander, Levi is captain. They have a professional relationship and they have goals and obligations which take precedence over personal desires. They are in the middle of a war and the most which probably could have happened was a secret mutual pining between the two and I think Isayama has injected the most subtle hints which are the most that could have been appropriately put into canon without seeming too OOC. Hange and Levi are not selfish people. They have promises, dreams and obligations which they respect and have committed themselves to already. It has also been shown at earlier points of the manga that they do put their survey corps duties on top of everything so acting on a romantic attraction at that point in time would have definitely been inappropriate. 

I personally think, the scenes of Hange going out of her way to save Levi as commander, killing her other soldiers to save both their asses, suggesting in the forest that they live together instead of go back to the war and not leaving an injured Levi until she had no choice were more powerful than a lot of romantic scenes where people actually fuck and kiss. Kissing and fucking are easy. Leaving the duties and responsibilities they have worked for for five years to keep the person they love alive hits way harder. 

Call it platonic. Call it romantic. But no one like Hange would have deserted her post as commander for a few chapters to take care of a sick comrade and kill her subordinates to save their asses if there wasn’t anything between them. 

4. It gives a great example what healthy relationships can��come from. 

I grew up reading sweet valley and chick lits cause I was a basic bitch and I kinda grew up with a somehow unrealistic idea of where relationships come from. Call me a late bloomer but I only actually figured out where the romance and the happiness of a relationship was when I got into one with my best friend for five years. 

It’s the sexual tension and the “will they wont they?” push and pull which can lead to satisfying sex or a happy ending in romance novels. I think in a way, media kinda overglorifies it which kinda gives a lot of young people the wrong idea about why they getting into a relationship is fun in the first place.  Because after the satisfying sex and the kids, what’s next for the relationship?

Years of utility bills, diapers, chores, schedules, parent teacher conferences and compromises until someone gives up or dies. And what kind of relationships can actually thrive through all these? 

Those that have mastered the underrated parts of relationships. These include conflict resolutions, compromises and open communication. I think we have seen enough of those two, even before season 3 that have shown that they know each other very well and they have shown to at least have a relatively equal power dynamic which is a foundation for open communication and mutual trust in relationships even beyond the fucking and marriage stage 

5. They have a great foundation of character development for both parties.

As I mentioned above, they have a relatively equal power dynamic. I love Royai from FMA and I have compared Royai to this multiple times. I would say though I prefer Levihan over Royai because I felt that Royai had more unequal power dynamics? (Though I still think Royai is a top tier ship ). Also, they have shown to tell off the other when they don’t like what the other is doing. They are complete opposites but here is the magical thing. They talk everything out. They’re generally open people to each other and they know each other way too well as hinted in scenes before and opposites work as long as the others are willing to compromise. I think (especially in season 3 and season 4) that they have done enough for each other and have compromised enough for each other in the survey corps that these skills could easily be brought with them even after the war.

That open communication is just what makes them maintaining a relationship while being complete opposites very OC and realistic. Eventually, they did probably did make compromises, which most likely softened or moderated the crazy parts of their personalities which is just a really fun part of their relationship to explore. 

6. It could realistically last so maybe ...

7. A good foundation for happy children?

Maybe it’s how it is written because of the actual story and why would Yams write a romantic drama in a story about genocide and war. Tbh, I would attribute it more to Levi and Hange’s personalities though because Mikasa and Eren have their fair share of drama, mostly one sided though coz Mikasa. This relationship has no drama, no misunderstandings which just further supports my point that they have a relationship that thrives on open communication and mutual trust. Drama is fun like when we’re the ones on the sidelines eating the popcorn but I have third wheeled enough people in my life to realize that I will not support a relationship where both parties are just not ready to be mature about it, in real life and in fiction. 

My favorite couples, in real life and in fiction, are definitely those who keep conflict among themselves and maybe among trusted people. I think one sign of a healthy relationship is one where problems don’t become public through social media or through like 20 people. One important yet underrated part of relationships is the atmosphere of comfort and freedom which encourages both parties to be able to directly approach one another before tensions and uncertainties get out of hand.  

And a life free of dramas at least in the early stages of life just kinda shows at least that both parties are ready to bring a new life to the world? Because like immature parents with shitty conflict resolution skills really fuck kids up man and I passionately believe the world would really be a better place if babies were born out of trust, mutual understanding and open communication instead of sex but yeah, make sex fun to keep our race alive.

So anyway, I guess, I just finished explaining why I love this ship so much while also disclosing my preferences for relationships. 

As mentioned above...

Disclaimer: I do not want to start shipping wars. I specifically avoided the words like should or best because I recognize that shipping is generally based on preferences. I respect everyone’s preferences on what they want out of a ship or even a relationship and through this, I just hope to express my own preferences and maybe even gush with people who agree.

Other pairings which I support for those curious: Shikatema, Royai, Victuuri, Percabeth etc.

Also... To answer your second question... 

My week has been great, some pretty solid life developments but US elections wise, not so great... (WHY IS THE ELECTION RACE SO CLOSE?)

[bandaigaeru]

summer love - lee minho

→genre: vacation au, strangers to lovers, a teeny bit of angst →synopsis: lee minho had randomly appeared on your vacation to a lake/campground. he was everywhere, until he wasn't. →word count: 11.1k →pairing: minho x fem. reader  (featuring yeji and yuna (itzy) & BooSeokSoon + mingyu (seventeen))

i.

Sunlight breaks past the slightly tinted window, crossing your eyes in a swift blinding act. You blink away, turning back into the busy car. The boy driving waves a dismissive hand back at the whining boy behind him.

"We're not stopping for coffee," the driver asserts, eyes drifting up to the rearview mirror as he shifts into the exit lane.

"Why not?" the boy behind him counters. "We're gonna pass it anyway."

"We're going camping," the girl beside you leans forward to smack her palm against the boy's shoulder.

"It's not really camping if we're gonna be in a house," he pouts, turning back to her. He even shoots a pleading gaze in your direction, as if you would have any power over this conversation with people you've briefly met.

You glance back to the blurred trees. They pass in what feels like hundreds every time you blink. Why does this have to be the last summer of freedom? Why can't time just slow down and allow you a final year of peace? An almost taunting desire to live adventurously strikes your mind. Yet even so, you're not sure you should have accepted this "camping" offer.

Yeji was certain this summer would be legendary, gripping at your shirt sleeve as she pleaded, "But please, come with. I don't think I can live with Soonyoung and Seungkwan for two weeks."

So you succumbed. Only with the faint certainty that something must come from this. Even if it was only a mundane, fleshy scar from a messy jump into the lake. You could picture a rock piercing your skin before you flinched up to water, threads of blood coursing behind you.

God, you need to live a little.

"Y/N," Yeji whines, dragging your mind back into the car.

You hum, looking over to her. Her sunglasses sat delicately on the tip of her nose, tempting to fall at the slightest twitch downward.

"Tell Seungkwan to stop his coffee cries."

"I just met the guy," you whisper, shooting a cautious glance at the pouting boy. His knees are drawn to his chest as he tempts his focus with a YouTube video.

"But you're intimidating," her lips are pursed when you return to her.

You fight a laugh. "That's a funny one."

Yuna, somehow tricked to sit in the trunk of the minivan, leans over the seat. "You are kinda scary."

They lead a powerpoint that must have been established prior to this conversation, for the specifications seem a little too clear. By the end of it, you simply shake your head. Intimidating is a strong word. You are simply quiet, you tell yourself.

The campsite is a desolate piece on the outskirts of a fancy city known for its grand skyscrapers and business opportunities. Columnar trees line a restricted area, where animals freely prance, protected by the idea of hunting. There are trails, the ranger told them when they checked in, that led to varying sights. A broad lake glitters beneath the humid sun. On top of that, clouds string themselves in sparse bursts.

At the cabin, Soonyoung and Seokmin bustle for the room with the best view.

"Hey," Yuna scolds, lugging her overfilled duffel bag on her shoulder, "Shouldn't you let the women choose first?"

For a quick moment, their eyes scan each other's faces before unisonly shaking their heads. "No."

You slip passed their noses into a barren room. White curtains inwardly swing from the impatient breeze. A deep breath parts from your lips as your eyes fall to the dark hardwood. Two weeks, you tell yourself. That's not too bad.

Deep laughter seeps from outside, sending an awakening jolt down to your feet. You lean towards the window, spotting a few boys on the lake's shore. One is chasing another with the claws of an angry crab.

"Get away from me!"

"This is karma," the other calls, kicking up lofts of sand in his wake.

In awe, you stare as the slightly shorter man catches up with the taller. Maybe two weeks will be more difficult than you thought.

ii.

A routine falls into place within the first few days. You awake before the crowd and sit on the dock for an hour. Maybe a little more, depending on the breeze. Then, you return to the cabin and sit on the porch swing, gently swinging your feet. Mingyu slips out into the humid air shortly after, his sweatpants bunched up by his ankles from sleeping.

"Do you wanna go swimming with us?" he will ask.

Your heart momentarily flutters before it dims to a burdening mass. "Maybe tomorrow."

He asks if you are sure, though he knows you will give the same nod, lips pressed into a polite smile.

You take to spending days alone, watching the clouds travel hastily across the blue sky and discreetly viewing the boys next door wreak havoc. It's calming, you remind yourself when you get the urge to accept Mingyu's offer, to be alone.

Each of your temporary roommates slips from the cabin in duos or trios. Soonyoung likes to rest an arm around whoever he's with, you notice, as though he's scared of losing them to an imaginary void. He always shoots you a smile before disappearing to wherever that day's activities bring.

On the fifth day, Yuna and Seokmin disappear on a hike with a whining Seungkwan on their tail. "It's so hot out here," he mutters as he passes you on the swing. Soonyoung and Mingyu rush to the water, shouting something about beating the mischievous boys in the cabin beside yours. Hair tied into a ponytail, Yeji steps onto the porch. She cups a 24-hour cooling bottle, taking sparing sips.

"Let's go to the lake," she sighs, sitting next to you. The teal outdoor pillows stutter beneath her weight before conforming to her shape.

You glance at her, though she doesn't turn to you. She speaks as though it's an order, not an offer.

Disturbed by your silence, she pushes, "C'mon, we've barely hung out at all. You're all solitude. We don't have to swim or anything. We can just sit on the sand."

A bitter sigh escapes your lips before you dredge into the cabin. Yeji resembles a home in this pool of unfamiliar faces, and you feel as though you can't deny her this. You pull on a bathing suit, despite her settled tune saying you didn't have to swim, and tug a pair of shorts on.

By the time you return to her, a green beach towel slung over your arm, she sits with her sunglasses veiling her eyes. Her head is upturned, looking at the birch porch ceiling. You hesitate, concerned that she might have fallen asleep, when her head twitches toward you. "Ready?" she asks, gathering her cup.

You slug towards the lake, basking in the sun's warm rays. It's not as humid as you thought it might be. A small, shaky breeze brushes against your bare shoulders.

"How's rooming with Soonyoung?" you finally say.

She sighs. "Terrible. He snores like crazy. I'm starting to regret giving you the single."

You chuckle, "It could be worse."

"How?"

"You could share a room with Soonyoung and Seungkwan."

"Oh, God," she shivers, despite the heat beaming down.

Sand invades beneath the comfort of your toes. Scalding heat shoots up your ankle as you hesitantly step. Purchasing cheap flip-flops was probably a mistake.

"Dude, I will drown you right now," Mingyu shouts.

Yeji leads you closer to them, stopping when only a couple feet barricade you from the water. She lays out her towel before tugging on her shorts' button. You follow her lead. Thoughtless, you step towards the dock, abandoning your belongings on your towel. The dock is about ten feet long, though its width bares close to six feet.

The water sways with each swing of Soonyoung's arm. You take a seat at the edge, dangling your feet until they graze the water. It's cool in contrast to the blistering grains. Mingyu pushes Soonyoung's head underwater with a broad grin. Water bubbles to the surface from Soonyoung's parted lips.

Shouts garnish the calm breeze. You glance over your shoulder. Yeji is laying flush against her towel, her eyes closed as she calmly begs for a tan. Behind her, a few running boys approach, some shedding their tops as they run.

"Minho! Give me my phone back!" a boy whines. You note that he's the same one who was being chased by a threatening crab. And the one he calls to, he glares over his shoulder with a shake of the head, is the chaser.

Minho turns back to his objective of the water before abruptly turning right, dragging the follower down the shore. His menacing laughs glide through the air, sending a sharp chill down your spine.

Begrudgingly, the chaser catches him, prying his phone away. In the distance, he looks like he presses a palm against Minho's shoulder, pushing him back. Their voices do not travel, but Minho's smile caught in the glinting sun does. You turn back to the water, whose dark surface returns the view of your eyes.

"Minho!" a voice calls behind you. You fight the temptation to turn.

"What?" the boy, presumably Minho, calls back.

You drown out the voices by slipping off the dock, plunging beneath the surface of the water. When you resurface, you brush back hairs glued against your forehead. Soonyoung points to you, begging you for a game of Chicken.

"There's only three of us," you point out, a tempting smile teasing your lips.

Mingyu glances to land, disregarding the background hassle of boys playing foot volleyball. "Yeji!" he calls.

Disinterested, her head bobs up. She pushes down her sunglasses, revealing a peek at her irises.

"Play Chicken with us!"

You can hear her sigh of defeat, pushing herself up from her towel and dropping her sunglasses. She flinches beneath the water, hands reaching to either elbow as she rubs warmth into them.

You watch her intently, until a boy peeks into your view from over her shoulder. Minho is juggling a ball with his feet. A steely grin catches his lips as his friends cheer him on. "10, 11, 12!" they chant.

You plug your nose before dropping your head underwater. When you resurface, the ball is lying against the sand, the boy's shoulders slumped. Hidden behind the fake pout, his lips remain curled.

iii.

It's weird, the way that boy takes the throne in your thoughts. He is merely a stranger from afar, who sparingly shot a glance when Mingyu shouted to him. Something about owing him for the previous night's game. His eyes, sparkling beneath the blazing sun, had resembled the water. Glinting and dark, leaving you curious and needy for more. Your thoughts brace the view of his bare chest, beads of sweat dripping from his chin as he concentrates on juggling the ball.

You have to get out of your head, you conclude.

Before the sun rises on the seventh day, you're up and ready. A small bookbag is secured around your shoulders, the contents harboring copious amounts of water and a few granola bars. You glance around the cabin—at the small leather couch constituting the living room and the oak table whose legs have fraying wood, as though a dog had thought it was a bone—before you decide it's safe to depart.

Today's destination requires you to pass your parasite's cabin. You offer a short glance through the clear panes, refocusing on the gravel path when you catch a glimpse at a sleeping boy on the couch, face illuminated by his phone. It's not the boy who haunts you, you lamentably realize.

Splashes of rose and barely visible blue tarnish the sky in a messy gradient. You stop before the overhead greenery obstructs your view. In the edge of the sky, nearly fallen on the horizon, is the moon bidding its final goodbye. "Take care," it says with a sulking wave, "I'm just past the wall."

Under the blistering glimpses of heat through the leaves, you admit that you're grateful to the shrouds of protection. Humidity snips at your skin, mimicking the crawl of an insect. You swipe at your neck, though nothing lies beneath your palm. Just the damp residue of sweat.

If someone had queried you on the matter a few months ago, you would argue that solo hiking is too dangerous to be denoted as fun. Now, within the gaze of harmless deer and the occasional rabbit, you chuckle. They peek out at you from rotting logs, blinking to each other as if to seek confirmation.

A tree twenty-or-so feet away sticks out among its comrades like a sore thumb. Lesions trail its stump, marking the initials of lovestruck couples.

"You turn left at the tree of love, you'll know which one," Yuna had distractedly instructed the night before, a melting ice cream cone dripping down her fingers.

Your footsteps drown out songbirds and assemble their own tune. Each crunch of a stick signifying a beat to your journey.

The path eventually fizzles into a sad patch of grass with a podium pegged into it. Okinawa Path, it reads. Marked in 1985 by James Okinawa. Dedicated to his wife, Jiyeon Okinawa.

The horizon is curved like a bubble when you look out onto it. Leaves sway with the breeze in mass, assembling a synchronous dance. You can see the faint blue of the lake, its color lightened in the distance. If you squint a little, you can see the small ant-like figures running along its shore. Resting your hands on the metal casing of the plaque, you lean over. In the gaps of trees, a straight fall. You sigh, taking a step back.

Your stomach grumbles. It only takes a moment of peace for your chest to plummet. All that remains in your bag is an array of wrappers, food long consumed, and water. You glance at your watch. 12:19. If you left now at a pace twice which you came, you might reach the cabin at three. Maybe four, depending on how the animal's eyes draw you.

You nod, taking a final glance at the foliage and red hummingbirds plucking into bark, before heading back.

iv.

The hike, though momentarily ridding your thoughts of the boy whose laugh cast goosebumps down your spine, is rendered useless when you see him on your way back. Stood at the lake's mouth, he stares onto the water. His friends are vacant, you note, as your gaze shoots around to corners they might hide. You don't notice your feet have forgotten their trail until a cat sniffs your shoes.

His fur is soft when you dip your fingers to scratch behind his ears. Large green eyes stare up at you, leaning into your touch. You tilt your head, mumbling, "Where's your collar, little guy?"

He purrs as he slowly allows his eyes to close. You look around, catching eyes on the boy at the shore. A glimpse of a smile nuzzles against his lips, leaving you to wonder what possibly brews inside his head.

Behind you, the sound of gravel crunching beneath shoes. You swing around, searching for their eyes. A boy gapes at you, apparently frightened by your sudden movement. Then, his wide eyes minimize when he sees the cat.

Your fingers still linger by his ears, though they stop movement. He leans up, brushing his chin against them. Trying to revive their life.

"Soonie?" he finally says, eyebrows furrowing. A deep line of confusion betrays the skin between them.

The cat meows, trotting to the boy. He leaves you in his dust, as though you hold no purpose now that you've halted the affection.

He gently picks up the cat, cradling him in his arms like a baby.

"He's yours?" you ask.

His eyes jump to you and he hastily shakes his head. "No. He's my friend's. He threatened that he wouldn't come if we didn't let him bring at least one of his cats."

You chuckle at the absurdity. "Really?"

He nods. "I'm Chan, by the way. I think we're in the cabin next to you."

With the assertion of his name, realization drowns over you. "Oh! Right! I knew you looked familiar," you laugh. "I'm Y/N."

"Nice to meet you," he smiles, a dimple emblazoning his cheek. His gaze draws to the shore, where one of his friends stands.

The cat paws at his chin, begging for his attention. He ignores it. Instead, he shouts, "Minho!"

When the boy turns to him, eyebrows raised in curiosity and lips pursed, he continues. "Your cat got out of the cabin!"

Minho allows his head to hang, a smile forming. He jogs up to you two, graciously accepting his child from the older. "At least I know you'll know to escape if you get catnapped," he whispers. Absently, he scratches beneath the cat's chin, travelling him into a blaze of content. He offers you a look, almost confused as to why you're here.

"This is Y/N," Chan intervenes, "She helped stop your cat."

Minho nods, lips parting in an acknowledging 'o.' He smiles. "Thank you. He wanders sometimes."

You nod. "No problem. He's cute."

"Takes after his owner," Minho jokes.

Chan rolls his eyes, smacking his shoulder. He turns to you, "He's Minho, by the way."

You fight the instinctive 'I know' to float from your tongue. In its place you glance back to your cabin, faintly imagining Seungkwan lighting the living room on fire because Soonyoung meandered a little too long. You turn back to them, "It was nice meeting you two, but I have to run."

They see you off with a wave, watching as you speed-walk to your cabin. Minho's eyes burn a hole in your tank top. Though, it feels like nothing in comparison to the blaze searing your chest.

v.

Sleep fills the corners of your eyes like grains of sand. Incessant to remain as they are, tempting you into the peaceful bounds of sleep. The pillows didn't help. Pressing flush against your back, they mirror the puffs of clouds.

The shouts at the table, however, keeps you landlocked.

"Seungkwan!" Yuna screams after the crash of water splattering against the laminate.

"What?" he calls, his voice muffled by the bathroom door.

"Can you bring me a towel when you're done in there?"

"Why?" There's a dullness to his tone, and you picture him standing in the mirror and tuning his hair to its perfect shape.

"Because I may have spilled, like, all the water left from that jug," she returns quietly.

The door swings open, bouncing against the copper doorstop with a loud trill. You flinch, eyes shooting open. His head peeks around the corner at the puddle residing. His lips part to expel a distressed sigh and a hand flies up to scratch the back of his neck. A quick moment passes where he disappears into the bathroom and returns with two towels. Wordlessly, as though they are now in agreement, he hands her one before kneeling down and sopping up the mess.

You sit up on the couch, watching.

Seungkwan's gaze swivels back to you. He offers a small, pleading small—one you've become familiar with this past week. "Hey, Y/N." Like a younger sibling about to beg a pardon from the oldest.

"What do you need?"

"Can you run up to the Camper's Corner and get us another jug?"

Mingyu, the bearer of the keys to the minivan, has long disappeared for an impromptu fishing trip. The others, though wielding slumped gazes as they passed, followed him to the boat suddenly tied to the dock.

Yuna perks up, as though your thoughts are being broadcasted, "You can take my bike!"

Orange sky solemnly greets you when you step out from the porch. Discarded against the dark logs of the cabin is Yuna's white bike. Various stickers plaster the warm metal; some worn to nothing while others closely tug at life. When you pull at the handles and drag the hidden parts of the bike from an overgrown shrub, you notice that there is a small basket. You have to fight off the laugh that threatens you when you think of that five gallon container spilling over the small wire basket.

The leaves sing in a shaking chorus with the graces of the wind. A musk of burning firewood stings your nose. You glance to the sky at your right (where the actual tent campers stay) and see a gray plume of smoke. A lingering taste of s'mores catches your tongue. The only thing to allow the displacement of the idea is the small store whose blinding fluorescents slip out into the street.

Camper's Corner is a privately owned chain who strategically places their stores in campgrounds. Though, with the large, white metal sign bearing a small green tent, it screams out of touch. But, at least they had good prices. And a very wide variety of bug repellant (homemade!).

"Is this all?" the lady at the counter, mid 20s with a few piercings lining her ears, inquires.

You nod, straightening a bill before slipping it across the counter. She dispenses the change into the palm of your hand. That's all it takes to dismiss her to the distractions of her magazine.

The weight of five gallons was underestimated in your mind. It drags your shoulder uncomfortably to one side, and you know it'll only supplement the soreness you'll gain from the hike. You bring a hand to the metal bar at the door, though it swings open before you can meet it.

Surprised brown eyes cross yours. For a moment, the weight diminishes, and you feel nothing but the swirl of butterflies voyaging your stomach.

His weight shifts backwards as he steps out of your way, pulling you back to reality. You hurriedly step out of the store, mumbling your thanks.

You start for the bike propped against the bike rack before he calls out, "Hey, wait for me."

By the time your eyes have swiveled back to him, his spot is blank. Tarnished by the slow swing of the door coming shut.

The jug approaches the ground and you stretch, rotating your arm in apologetic circles. How did you let yourself agree to this? Why couldn't Seungkwan find you intimidating enough to not even dare ask?

The boy returns, a plastic bag dangling from his wrist. Your eyes mingle for a second before you lean to reobtain the jug. His hand darts past your hesitant fingers, claiming it effortlessly. He merely says, "You look like you're struggling."

You grab at the handles of the bike. "Something like that."

With only the sounds of footsteps and swooshing leaves, you watch the front wheel turn. Around and around. No true objective.

"Thank you, again," he finally says over the tunes of cicadas.

Too wide eyes find him, and he clarifies, "For finding my cat."

"Oh!" you exclaim. "No problem, really."

You glance down to the bag, whose contents peek back in splitting blinks through the hole at the top. "What's in the bag?" you inquire.

His voice is drunken with the subtle hint of a laugh as he answers, "Soju. For Mingyu."

"Did he guilt you into buying him some?"

His head tips to one side. "Kinda. I lost a game."

You feel nosy digging, though you cannot find the will to stop. "What game?"

"Twister."

The thought of this boy, limbs contorted into painful tugs, draws a giggle to the air. "How bad did you lose?" you find yourself asking.

He exchanges the jug into the hand with the bag, quickly drawing his sleeve up to reveal a large purple mark, green flooding the outer corners. His eyes linger on it before lifting to meet yours. "My entire weight went right there."

Lips parted in a mass of shock and amusement, you stare. Words fail you, though a bubbly laugh draws to replace it. His lips curl upward, hesitant as though he's not sure he should be living this moment.

The laughs dawdle to a small lingering smile. Only a few cabins litter the edge of the visible road ahead, though the feeling of parting already greets you. Tugging at your chest like a pestering child.

"Do you-" he starts.

"Why are your-" you inadvertently interrupt.

"Sorry, you go first," you both say in unison.

His shoulder brushes against yours as a laugh greets the trees and bunnies hidden behind shrubs. "Seriously, you go first," he manages, bringing a wrist to his eye.

"Why are your friends so loud?" you inquire. Most nights, even some mornings, you can hear their loud cackles. Sometimes, you listened in on their conversations—not because you wanted to, but because it was hard not to.

"Are we loud?" his bewildered gaze falls on you. You look up to meet him halfway, nodding. He shrugs. "I didn't realize."

The shining light from the indoor side of your cabin greets you. Like a parent greeting their child after a first date with a new, alien smile.

He gently hands you the jug. A protective hand reaches for your shoulder when you allow it to drag your shoulder a little. "You got it?"

You nod with a smile.

He turns for his cabin, and you call out, "What about your question?"

The treads of his shoes stop against the gravel. He glances over his shoulder. "I'll just ask you tomorrow."

Tomorrow, you think. He expects to see you tomorrow. The thought warms your cheeks.

"Right. I'll see you tomorrow."

His shoes scrape against the gravel again, dismissing the conversation.

You start up the porch, hand closing around the doorknob when his voice pierces the night sky. "Sleep well! I'll try to get the boys to be a little quieter."

vi.

Mingyu nearly falls from shock when he steps out onto the porch the next morning. His acquainted question slips from his tongue with an uncertain drawl, as though he is unsure what language he speaks.

"Sure. I'll tag along," you smile up at him.

He slowly nods, bringing a disguised hand to the back of his neck before he pinches the skin. Nope. Not a dream.

In thirty minutes he returns with a pink-faced Soonyoung, shirts discarded and three towels. Soonyoung hands you yours as he scans your body. He hadn't believed Mingyu, that newfound glimmer shining across your skin, but seeing it firsthand leaves him speechless.

The lake water is chilled, the sun precariously hidden behind a large white cloud. Mingyu shrieks at its touch, drawing back to the sand. Soonyoung stares at him over his shoulder, muttering, "Pussy."

Your focus reigns on the cabin beside yours. Its porch is vacant. Not even a single paw crosses it.

His promise had proven effective, for after eleven o'clock the cabin seemed muted. As if a young child had stumbled across a remote, carelessly slamming the buttons without being aware of their meaning. It brought a quick, heart-fluttering smile to your face before you pressed your cheek against the pillow and fell asleep.

Mingyu, irritated with your withdrawal from their conversation about snails, waves a hand before your eyes. When all he receives is a lost, empty stare with that absent smile, he follows your gaze. All the way up the small hill and to the cabin harboring eight boys.

He gasps, dragging a palm to your shoulder and shaking you. "Y/N," he repeats.

"What?" Soonyoung asks, trying to break into Mingyu's line of sight.

You fall back into reality, looking between them. You hum, raising your eyebrows curiously.

Mingyu stares at you with parted lips, hand grown limp on your shoulder. "Why are you staring at the enemy's house?"

"Enemy?" you ask.

"Enemy?" Soonyoung repeats.

Behind Mingyu, a boy scales down the small hill. His appearance brings a spark to your chest, alighting all your muscles. Burning your entire body.

The sun peeks out from a cloud.

Mingyu catches the sparkle in your eyes. The sudden smile tracing your lips. He glances over his shoulder.

"Minho!" Soonyoung calls, suspending a high hand to wave at him.

He waves back. His white shirt sparkles in the sunlight.

When he reaches you, he hands Mingyu the small plastic bag from the previous night. "Here. Don't think I forgot."

Pink blazes the boy's cheeks as he accepts the bag. He peeks inside.

You nudge his shoulder, "Is that why he was an enemy?"

"'Cos you thought he wouldn't hold up his end of the deal? Mingyu, you're unbelievable," Soonyoung finishes, shaking his head. He turns back to the lake, burying his feet beneath the water.

Shyly, Mingyu mumbles, "I'll be back."

He climbs the hill, disappearing into your cabin.

Minho expels a laugh. "He's funny."

He's still staring at the guarding cabin door. A smile peeks on his lips, leaving you to wonder again what he thinks of in that pretty head. Suddenly, his eyes flit to you. "Do you wanna go for a walk?"

You glance down at your bikini and cheap flip-flops. "I'm not really dressed for a-"

"You can borrow some of my clothes, if you don't wanna go into your cabin," he interrupts.

You wonder what he smells like up close. In the breeze, you had caught the brief scent of sandalwood and tea tree.

Behind you, Soonyoung digs his heel into the sand. "Go with him. Don't overthink it."

And so, taking the granted permission and running with it, you follow Minho up the hill. You lean towards his cabin, quickly mentioning, "I think Yeji and Seungkwan are still sleeping. I don't wanna disturb them."

He simply nods, guiding the way. Soonie waits at the door and tries to sneak out through the gap. Minho presses the heel of his foot against the cat's chest, pushing him back in. The cabin is quiet, save for the distant running of water. He guides you down the hall to his shared room. In the top bunk, a boy lays with his body facing the wall. Covers are drawn to his chin, shielding his identity further.

Minho offers a plain white tee similar to his—though his is emblazoned with the outline of a peace sign—and black joggers. Thankfully accustomed with a drawstring. Just as you had imagined, when you tugged the shirt over your head, it smelled woodsy. It hugs your skin, like the comfort of a flickering candle in a dimly lit room.

By the time you sneak back into the main area of the cabin, a boy leans against the kitchen counter, phone in hand. He glances up, blinking harshly when he spots you in Minho's clothes. "You have a girlfriend?" he asks, tipping his head.

Minho's only response is a scoff before he slips back into the great outdoors. You hold the other boy's gaze for a moment before following Minho quietly.

He guides you in the way of the Camper's Corner, though he takes a sharp left where you would normally keep straight. It's an unmarked path. He glances over his shoulder, as though to assert you're following.

"It's not too bad of a walk," he mentions, glancing down to your flip-flops.

After only a couple more feet, the fast splashing of water summons your ears. It pulls your gaze into its sourcing direction. A narrow creek stares back, water plummeting across sharp peaks of rocks. You gasp.

Minho turns to you, smiling when he spots the glimmer in your eyes. Similar to the one that the sun casts on the water.

He kneels close to the mud, plucking a small shell. He offers it to you. The tips of your fingers graze the smooth ridges. On the underside, little legs squirm.

"It's a hermit crab," he says.

"I know," you laugh, looking up to him.

He shrugs, "I had to tell Changbin what it was."

You stare at him, the small crab suddenly forgotten. He nods, as though to say 'I know, right?'

You gently return the hermit crab to its niche. Minho suddenly grabs your hand, pulling you back to the main road. His palm feels awkward in yours beneath the sun. Yet still, you dread the moment when it will shed itself away.

"Hey," you say. He stops, looking over his shoulder with pouty lips. "What did you want to ask me?"

The hint of a grin flashes across his lips, shining like the sun, as he shakes his head. "I already got the answer."

He turns back to the road, continuing to tug at your hand. The sound of his slides scraping against the gravel reminds you of last night.

"What was the question though?"

His grip tightens and he chuckles. "You're persistent."

"I'm just curious," you defend, inching to tug a little back on his hand.

He stops abruptly. You nearly crash into his back. He turns around to you, slipping his hand away from yours and placing it on your cheek.

You wonder if he can hear your heartbeat. Or feel the warmth against your cheek.

His eyes are barren. For a moment, you're scared he might shun you away. Until his eyes crinkle and his teeth show, lips curled in a broad grin. "You should keep those clothes," he says, moving his hand slightly to catch a wandering strand of hair. He tucks it behind your ear.

"Why?" you manage to say through the pebble strangling your throat.

"You look cute in them."

Whatever breath you managed to withhold evacuates your lungs. You're not sure if it's the lack of oxygen, but you think he's leaning a little closer.

His hesitant breath tickles your lips and you meet him at the finish line. His other hand comes to cup your cheek as he kisses you. Your missing breath is found when his tongue trails across your bottom lip.

When he pulls away, he blinks as though he has returned from a blackout. Then, a chuckle slips past his lips. You stare at him, watching as the corners of his mouth upturn.

He grabs at your hand, pulling you up the road and back to the cabins. All the way, your tongue wettens your lips to revive his taste. You bite back smiles, grateful he cannot see you.

You feel like a schoolgirl again, calm and worryless.

vii.

He holds your hand as you step off the dock. The boat trembles beneath your leg and his grip tightens. "I got you," he reassures.

You sit opposite him as he tugs the oars back. The water winks up at you in fits of sparkling sunshine.

His invite had come like a surprise, preceded by the knock on the cabin. Yeji had answered, and before he even had time to ask for you, you were there. Peeking over her shoulder like an all too curious sibling. Normally, back at the apartment, life would play out like this. Someone would arrive at your doorstep, flowers in hand and ready to steal Yeji away on a date.

Oh, how the tables have turned.

So now, you sit in a boat, slightly seasick until Minho stops pushing the oars under the water. Only the quiver of the lake keeps you with a minuscule motion.

"I didn't really plan this far ahead," he says, looking back to the distant shore. On the dock, he notes, a boy stands. Then, running up from behind, he is pushed into the water. Impact splashing back at the one who remains standing.

He glances back to you, now having missed your words. "Sorry, what'd you say?"

"I said plans are overrated," you repeat.

A smile crosses his lips, somewhat feeling like a fond glimmer of nostalgia. You will chase after that smile, begging for the faint orange of this golden hour.

He leans forward abruptly, pressing his lips to yours. You smile into the kiss. The strings of his hoodie tickle your hand as you slowly bring your palm to his cheek.

The kiss brings that golden hour into clarity with pulsing fits of orange like a heartbeat.

When he pulls away, bottom lip slightly swollen, he pulls his sleeves over his hands as he glances down to the water. He will not admit what is on his mind, though the peek of his tongue slipping over his lips tells you all you need to know.

"What's your favorite color?" you inquire casually, drawing his eyes back to you.

"Mint," he quickly answers.

You learn that he cannot swim, despite his urgency to drag you out onto the lake, and that he's an only child. He just graduated college with a degree in Computer Science, though he doesn't know what he wants to do yet. Though, he makes it clear that he will never work retail. He has two other cats who were left back home because his friends had whined enough about bringing Soonie.

You find yourself smiling as he tells you stories from his former years. How he nearly flunked his Statistics exam because he accidentally went to the wrong class for half the semester (he couldn't explain how he didn't realize because your laughs suffocated his thoughts). How his friends rely on him for certain things. How he simply lives to live.

His lips find yours again after he tells you that he has a talent for catching people off guard. You flinch a little, though laugh.

As he pulls away, his smile reaches his eyes and you catch the glimmer of comfort sprouting in your chest.

His fingertips find the oars again when a cloud threatens the sun. It dims the lake, stealing the sparkle from the water.

A sigh slips past your lips as you watch the clouds turn. Vacation ends in four days, ready to drag you back to the needy college life. You wonder if Minho will keep in touch. Certainly, you remind yourself, he will. After all, you both live in the same city, so seeing each other shouldn't be a problem.

"What're you thinking about?" Minho asks as he's reaching for the rope to secure the boat to its dock.

His cologne lingers close as he leans over you. A hug-like comfort. You shake your head when he glances down at you. "Nothing."

viii.

A large pizza sits in the center of the table, steam rising from the center. Seungkwan leans over and grabs another piece.

"Gosh, we should've ordered another one," Seokmin sighs, glancing at the two empty boxes at the counter.

Yeji shakes her head, "Maybe if you guys didn't eat so much."

You smile, leaning back in your chair to watch this unfold. Seungkwan defensively waves his hand as he bites. Soonyoung chugs water to drown his words.

Mingyu, though, stares at you. His arms are crossed against his wide chest. He leans

forward, resting them on the table. The argument fizzles, leaving the elephant in the room to be addressed.

"Mingyu, why are you staring at me like that?" you laugh.

"Why are you so lighthearted? What did Minho do to you? Did he inject you with something?"

You blink, waiting for his questions to process. "I'm just in a good mood, I guess."

"Who's Minho?" Yuna returns from the bathroom, reclaiming her seat beside Yeji.

"One of the neighbor guys. He's really cool, actually," Soonyoung informs.

Mingyu shoots him a glare, though before he can speak, Seokmin has begun, "Yeah, you have been kinda weird today, Y/N."

You shrug, shyly looking down at your sweatpants that weren't technically yours. Minho had playfully pushed you into the cabin when you had offered to return them after your lake date. His smile had blazed brighter than the sun. Warmer than the sun. You smile at the close memory.

"See?" Mingyu points accusingly.

"I think you're overreacting," Soonyoung comments, grabbing the abandoned crust from Seungkwan's plate.

Yeji nods, taking a sip from her water before adding, "Just let her have her last summer love."

Mingyu huffs, leaning back into his chair. "I don't like him."

"Too bad," Seungkwan nudges him with a teasing smile.

Nighttime falls after a tense couple rounds of Mafia. Each time, Mingyu would insist voting you off, citing that you were suspicious and simply had to be the Mafia. Even when you were the nurse. Or the cop. You hadn't gotten the mafia card at all.

Your sheets are cold when you climb into them. And though Mr. Sandman has already dragged your eyes to a laze, you cannot find dreamland. Instead, you're left to listen to the night. Distant shouts from the neighboring cabin. You smile, wondering what Minho is doing.

A huff slips from your lips and an open palm rushes to your forehead. How have you allowed yourself to fall this deep? Maybe Mingyu's right. Maybe you should take a step back. Yet still, the imprint of his lips against yours haunts you with the pull at your heart.

You roll over, tugging your covers to your chin. Like the boy in Minho's room.

A hollow noise echoes throughout your ears. It travels upward, like your window being pulled. You flinch, though fight it off. It's nothing, you tell yourself. Just the wind. Or a deer. Or maybe it's a little rabbit.

But then, your heart stops beating when the rustic-style comforter pulls away from you.

Instinctively, you shoot up, swinging your arms. One connects with the heavy meat of a human. It heaves, doubling over in pain.

You tremble, heart shattering against your ribcage. Though, you gain enough strength to reach for the lamp, pulling down on the string.

A boy is balled up on the floor, clutching at his ribs. He glances up at you, squinting beneath the sudden light.

"Minho? What are you doing here?" you whisper. You realize you're in his shirt. And his sweatpants. They're comfy, okay?

He pulls himself up to sit at the foot of your bed, still holding his side. "You have got a strong arm," he gasps for air.

"What are you doing here?" you repeat. At the loud, though distant, chant of someone's name, you add, "Shouldn't you be with your friends?"

He shakes his head. The tips of his fingers pull at the hem of his shirt to reveal his chest. A slim red mark has already formed. He drops the cloth, glancing back to you, "I wanted to see you. You're more fun than they are."

You fight a smile. "You barely know me."

He shrugs. "So?"

You look down at your lap sheepishly. "I'm sorry for hitting you so hard."

"Don't be," he reaches for your hand, pressing your fingers against his momentarily and intertwining them. "I probably should've had a better gameplan."

You can't exactly disagree with that.

"Do you mind if I stay here tonight?" he asks, glancing back out into the open window.

"No, but can you not go home or something?"

He turns back to you, lips slightly pursed. "I'm getting tired of being with them. They're kinda draining."

You know the feeling, thinking of Seungkwan and Soonyoung's full-fleshed arguments that seem to have a daily timer of 7 P.M.

And so he kicks his shoes off and curls up next to you before you turn off the light. His arm curls around you as he sighs. His breath tickles your skin, flaring small goosebumps.

You rest your ear against his chest, hearing out for the small thumps of his heart. Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum.

"You never told me the question," you say.

"It's not important anymore," he replies, pulling you a little closer.

Crickets swell in the silence that follows. His chest is warm, a comforting contrast to the earlier sheets. Yet still, you feel yourself asking, "Don't you think we're going too fast?"

And he simply responds, "You can never feel like you're moving too fast if you're constantly running out of time."

You hum. A response curls at your tongue, though your lips fail to move.

When you return to consciousness, the warm pillow you had rested upon is gone. The only evidence he was ever even there is the window, still open, and the wrinkles in the sheets.

ix.

He is not at the lake. He is not at the hidden creek. Maybe he's on a hike, you think. But as you pass his cabin and peek inside, your stomach drops.

The place is pristine, as though eight young men had never even stepped foot inside. You take a peek inside, scanning through all of the rooms. Nothing. Bare beds and bare halls.

His shirt itches against your skin. Not a single goodbye. Pricks of something volatile poke your skin as you realize you have nothing to contact him by. No phone number. No cringy Snapchat username he made when he was thirteen. Nothing.

You drag your feet back to your cabin, passing Seungkwan huddled over a bowl of oatmeal. His greeting distantly floats through your ears, though you fail to process it.

When you fall into your bed, sheets still indented by his figure, a hot tear scales your face. His scent is all around you, like a taunting lullaby. You jolt up, tearing the shirt off of you and throwing it as hard as you can. It caves against the wall, slipping down silently.

You pull over a different, non-Minho shirt and rest back against the mattress. Though still, he remains.

A sob clogs your throat. You want to punch a pillow. Or a wall. Or him. No, you wouldn't punch him. You cannot even find it in you to direct your anger at him. Instead, you decide, you must have done something wrong. Maybe you whispered something in your sleep that infuriated him. Maybe-

A soft knock at your door.

"I'm sorry," you sob, burying your face in the pillow as you clutch the sheets.

Beside you, the bed dips beneath someone's weight. A hand falls against your back, its fingertips tapping lightly.

You expect it to be Yeji. Or Yuna. But instead, when you look, it's Mingyu. His face is blank, not even a trace of an "I told you so" glazing it. Instead, his eyes are covered with a film of pity.

"Did you know?" you manage through the tears.

Slowly, he nods. "I'm sorry."

You shake your head. "It's not your fault."

He pulls you into a hug, and you're glad that his scent does not resemble Minho's. Mingyu smells only like cotton. Freshly washed cotton.

"He's a dick, not telling you he was leaving," he says, drawing a hand up to your head.

Seungkwan's voice drenches the room with bitterness. "Who the fuck hurt you? I will kill-"

Mingyu looks back at the boy standing in the doorway. He shakes his head, beckoning the boy to leave. And he does.

You're grateful for Mingyu.

x.

Only three days remain in your vacation, yet each second is more brutal than the last. Dried tears glue strands of hair to your cheeks. At night, Mingyu comes in and lays with you, rubbing small circles into your back as he tries to make you laugh. Yeji stands in the doorway, confused arms crossed against her chest.

The day before you leave, Yeji stops at your bedside and whispers. "We can leave today."

You look up to her, shaking your head slightly. That's all the energy you have to do. Your voice is a croaking mess when you bring yourself to say, "Don't let me ruin your fun, please."

The final day, as set aside on the drive here, is a day of fun. Hiking and swimming and laughter. Though you remain in bed, sheets pulled to your chin as your fingertip rubs small laps along your lips.

When Seokmin sneaks into your room at dinnertime, a small slice of pizza resting on a paper plate, he says, "You deserve better than him."

You nod. But you're not sure you believe him.

You find yourself wondering what he did in the car ride home. What he's doing now. If his cats are happy to all be together again. You wish that you could have seen Soonie's little smile again. Or even seen Minho's fatherly intuitions with him for even an extra split second.

A fingertip rests on your bottom lip. The car is silent, save the low hum of the radio. Disguised by his sunglasses, it appears that Mingyu's eyes are glued to the road at all times. Though he steals a parental glance in the rearview every few seconds, as if to check you haven't withered away.

Even when Seungkwan coughs, Soonyoung bites his tongue. They do not argue the whole way.

When Mingyu arrives outside your apartment complex, you gather your things and get out of the minivan. Its familiar blue paint stings your eyes with tears. You look back into the car before saying with a forced smile, "Thank you, guys."

xi.

Summer dissipates with green fading to amber. You look at the golden leaves scattering the ground of the campus. Minho's smile flashes in front of your eyes, and you shake it away. A parasite.

You jog to class, sparingly glancing at your watch to count each minute you're late. At five past eight you get to the lecture hall. A quiet apology slips past your lips until you climb the stairs to the back.

For a history class, the seats are rather full. You sit at the end of the second to last row, beside a tanned boy with light brown hair and round glasses. His eyes stick on you a little too long, burning your skin.

Professor Nam discusses the syllabus rather quickly, his words failing to succumb to first-day stutters. His sudden clap makes you flinch, and his voice booms all the way back to you. "That's it. Scan the first chapter to familiarize yourself with the material. You're free to go."

You gather your things and are ready to descend the stairs when the boy beside you calls, "Wait!"

You glance back at him and a flash of familiarity blankets him. His words return to you before you can exactly place him. You have a girlfriend?

"Are you Y/N?" he asks.

Pain shoots through your chest and you take a wary step backwards.

He continues, quickly apologizing, "Sorry to catch you off guard like this. I'm Seungmin."

He proffers his hand. You take it. "Nice to meet you," you manage.

"You too," he smiles. Though, to you, all he says is 'You're the girl he ditched?'

You cannot find the words to form a question, though he beats you to it. He seems to do that, you note.

"What happened with you and Minho?"

Then, when he catches the sparkle of tears glazing your eyes he frantically adds, "If you're comfortable with telling me."

You look down at your shoes, remembering the days of sunshine that quickly turned to cloudy messes. "I don't know, really."

"He was a mess after we left, but he wouldn't tell us anything that happened," Seungmin rambles.

Your eyes shoot back to him. A hoarse laugh grabs your words, "He was a mess?"

Confused, he hesitantly nods.

"He didn't tell me you guys were leaving," you announce, the words stinging you all over again. "And he never left me anything to contact him with. I thought I did something wrong. I probably did."

You remember the white shirt stuffed into your closet, a pair of sweatpants crumbled beneath it. His scent is faintly attached to the fibers. Though, maybe, it's just your imagination.

Seungmin's eyes soften. "I'm sorry. You probably didn't do anything. He wouldn't react the way he did if you had. He's just stupid."

You dismiss yourself, aiding the excuse that you're meeting with a friend for coffee and he understands. Seungmin watches as you leave the lecture hall, a soft sigh tickling his lips.

When you get back to the apartment (not having another class until noon) you cry. Hot tears that irritate your skin. You pull out the tee shirt and hug it close. And the words, again, fall from your lips like a mantra. "I'm sorry."

xii.

Seungmin asks you to coffee a week later, a hint of something unfamiliar in his eye. You agree, though only under the pretense that he pays.

The coffee shop by the campus is riddled with already tired students and rushed projects. Seungmin sits by the window. An iced americano is cupped in his hand and he absentmindedly sips it, eyes over at a set of baristas scrambling to fulfill orders. His gaze breaks, falling onto you and he waves.

"Did I keep you waiting long?" you ask as you pull yourself onto the stool.

He shakes his head, gently setting the sweating coffee on a napkin. "No, I just got here."

He glances back to an aproned barista, who anxiously stares back. His eyes are apprehensive, tinged with a glimmer of something fierce. Seungmin nudges your hand, pointing at the boy.

You feel your heart stop beating. You might be leaning forward and passing out. You might be dying. But one thing's for sure, the boy who is currently holding your eyes makes you blister with heat and blur at the eyes. He stares with a freezing gaze that shoots goosebumps all along your skin.

And then he offers a hint of a smile that warms your body like a blanket. He glances to a coworker, inaudibly says something, and removes his apron. He tosses it into a small blue basket before rushing over. Seungmin gives up his seat.

Minho smacks the back of his head. "Thanks for drinking all of my americano."

"Shouldn't have left it there," Seungmin shrugs before starting towards the exit.

At the door, he turns back and smiles, "Have a good talk!"

You dumbfoundedly watch as Minho lifts himself to the stool. He rests interlocked hands on the table, creating a cage around his half-empty americano. "I'm sorry," he says.

"For what?" you look at him like a lost puppy. His heart softens and the guilt overrides him.

"Leaving," he glances outside, down the street where Seungmin crosses.

You somehow manage to keep looking at him. "Was it something I did?"

"No," he instantly turns back to you. "It was me."

"That's what everyone says," you fight a hurt chuckle. "You can tell me, really. It won't hurt."

And with a forced reassuring smile, you look deep into his eyes.

He shakes his head. "No really, it was me. I was confused and terrible at facing what I was feeling. I didn't want to admit that constantly wanting to kiss someone was more than friendly."

"I take it you still are," you mention. "Considering Seungmin didn't even know."

His head twitches in a nod. "Something like that."

A silence lies over you, though it's unlike the one you held when you walked back from the Camper's Corner. This one seems menacing. As though it has the power to destroy everything.

He suddenly grabs your hand and plays with your fingertips. He does not know the number of times you have pressed them to your lips—sixty-two. He does not know the days you spent staring at your ceiling, eyes burning from spilling insufficient tears. He does not know that you halted communication with everyone, save Yeji, from the trip because they reminded you too much of him. Yet still, his touch cascades your body with heat, as though none of that happened.

"You really don't have to accept this, but I would like to make it up to you."

Your heart catches in your throat and it echoes its thumps throughout your entire body. "Are you asking me on a date?"

Hesitantly, he nods. "I think so."

Your smile burns a whole through his chest. You ask innocently, eyebrows raised with joy, "Can I come see your cats?"

He laughs. "You'd have to meet my mom 'cos they live with her. My apartment complex doesn't allow pets."

"Second date, then."

"You already think you wanna go on a second date with me?" Minho grins, leaning a little closer.

You blush, shaking your head.

You stare into his eyes and see a tiny reflection of yourself. Behind that, you see remorse. Lost time. He's going to make up for it. That's a promise, even if it's not verbal.

xiii.

His laugh bubbles throughout the small room like the sizzle of soda. He pulls the cat close to him, cradling him like a baby. You watch as the cat paws at his chin.

He looks up at you, "I think he likes me."

You smile as he glances back to the cat. He nestles his fingers beneath the cat's chin and gently scratches.

Upon the idea of coming to a cat cafe, he was hesitant. "They might smell Soonie or something," he had pouted.

"It'll be fine," you had promised, taking his hand. They were warm, you recall, like those last days of summer.

And now here you sit, perched atop a chair while Minho rolls around with the cats. All swarming him like he carries a cat-summoning device. His smile is radiant against the sea of calico and tabby.

A flutter ravages in your chest when his eyes find yours. "Why are you staring at me like that?" he laughs.

"Like what?"

"You just look," he thinks. "I can't explain it."

A smile tugs at the corners of your lips. "Cat got your tongue?"

He delivers a wry laugh, returning his attention to the tabby who paws at his chin.

You watch as he fights the crowd to sit up. One immediately climbs upon his shoulder, reaching up to dig its paws in his hair. He gently pulls it off of him, resting it on the plush rug. He returns to his spot aside from you, bringing the straw of his iced americano to his lips.

"I feel bad," he finally says, curiously glancing down to the tugging sensation against the cuff of his sweatpants.

"Why?" you ask, resting your forearms on the table.

He looks back to you. "Because this is our first real date and we're in a place aimed for my interest. I'm supposed to be the one making things up to you, not the other way around."

You fight a laugh. "You know I like cats too, you know?"

"Yeah, but," he hesitates. "they're not really paying attention to you."

You shrug. "That's fine. Watching you interact with them is enough."

He smirks, "So you're saying you like watching me?"

"Interact with cats, yes," you confirm.

A hand grabs yours as he leans across the table to kiss you. His lips taste just like you remember—those sixty-two times did not go to waste. They're soft and taste vaguely of his coffee addiction. Back in summer, they had tasted like faint watermelon. Sometimes strawberries.

Abruptly, he pulls away. "Wait, I didn't ask if I could kiss you, I'm so sorry."

"You didn't ask me the first time you kissed me."

He squints, "Really?"

You nod, a shadow of a laugh tumbling over your lips.

He glances out the window, a look of reliving riddling his features. Eyebrows knitted together. Lips fallen agape. Finally, he looks back to you. "I don't remember not asking."

"Do you remember asking?" you tease, biting your straw between smiling teeth.

"Touche. But that's under different circumstances than right now. I'm supposed to be regaining your trust, not spontaneously kissing you."

You cock your head at him. "In summer, we barely knew each other and you were sneaking into my cabin to sleep in the same bed as me. How is that much different from randomly kissing me?"

He shyly brings his straw to his lips again, taking a long sip that extends the silence. "Summer was different," he finally says.

"Elaborate on that for me, please."

He sighs, flecks of red darting across his cheeks. He looks like he's about to give a presentation for a class he's failing. "Summer Minho," he finally begins, "was insanely stupid."

And then, his words fall. Another silence, save a couple cats clawing at a scratching post.

"And?" you urge him to continue.

He pouts. "I wasted so much time. We could've done this whole dating thing months ago, but because I wanted to run away from those scary feelings, we're here."

Then, in your stunned silence, he adds, "I wish I could go back and force myself to stick around. Or at least leave you a note. I thought about doing that, you know."

You sigh. "You can't change the past."

He lamentably nods, looking down at a sleeping cat to disguise the film blurring his vision.

"So let's make up for lost time," you declare, standing up.

He looks at you confusedly. "What?" he croaks.

"Minho," you offer your hand. Hesitantly he takes it, standing too. You continue, "I don't think I was ever really mad at you. I focused all of the blame on myself. So please, kiss me whenever. Show up at my doorstep at three in the morning because one of the boys got on your nerves. I don't care. I just want to be with you."

A small smile twitches as a lonesome tear slips down his cheek. He pulls you into his chest. The vibration of his laugh shakes against your ear as he whispers, "You're gonna regret saying that part about me showing up at your doorstep."

You laugh and shake your head, though deep down you know he's probably right.

xiv.

Lee Minho is a piece of work. Having the nerve to show up at your apartment while the world is shaking with thunder. His hair is soaking wet, as are his clothes. Though, kept dry, is the brown bag of Chinese food he shoved beneath his hoodie.

He laughs through shivers when you open the door, alternatively drenched with the desire for sleep.

"Did I wake you?" he asks, teeth chattering.

Through squinted eyes, you slowly nod, stepping out of the way to let him in. So tired, you note, that you didn't even bring him a towel before he enters the apartment. Small droplets of water quiver at his movement, pooling beside your doormat.

"Do you still have those clothes I lent you?" he shouts when you retreat back to your room.

A response is unnecessary, for you're already bringing them to him. White tee and black sweatpants, neatly folded. His cologne officially disappeared in the last wash, subtly replaced with your laundry detergent and Yeji's rose perfume.

He steps into your bathroom, quickly asking where your towels are. You point to the small bamboo cabinet Yeji insisted on buying the week before.

You glance at the green digits atop the stove. 12:56 A.M. A wry laugh clogs your throat as you suddenly remember what you had told him two weeks ago on your first date. Though, this begs the question: do you regret telling him that? No, actually. Because now, you will finally be able to fall asleep in his arms again. Plus, he brought you food for unintentional compensation of waking you. That's commendable.

He returns from the bathroom, his new clothes lay over dry skin. Yet, his hair is still damp and sticking every which way. He vehemently shakes his head like a wet dog, sending a few droplets to brush your skin.

He tugs on the top of his shirt, bringing it across his forehead to wipe at straying rain.

Then, he stands still. A simper creeps across his face and he approaches you, entrapping you in his arms. Gently, he sways you, mimicking the boat on the lake. "Sorry for showing up unexpectedly. Jisung kicked me out."

You fight his grip to look up at him. "Why?"

"I may have joked about kidnapping the cats and bringing them to our apartment."

"Was it really a joke?" you inquire.

He laughs. "No."

You press your ear against his collarbone, silently sighing. A content smile crosses your lips as you close your eyes.

xv.

A distant, long forgotten episode of Haikyuu! hums on the TV. Minho's forehead is pressed against your shoulder and his light snores usurp the quiet argument between Hinata and Kageyama. Minho's arms have gone limp around your waist, loosened by the depths of slumber.

You turn in his arms and stare at the slope of his nose. The way his lips are barely parted. The way his eyelashes tickle against his cheeks. His hair has long since dried, though frizz defies its normal shape. You smile before pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose.

In your younger years you had imagined that your final year of college would be tinged with the weight of growing old. Now, every time you're with Minho—in his arms or merely in his presence—you're relieved of all of the nonsense adulthood brings. No stress. Just simply living. It's like a constant adventure with him.

His eyes peek through heavy lids and he tips his head back a little, tapping the back of the couch. In a drowsy voice, he mutters, "Stop watching me sleep, weirdo."

You giggle. "You were snoring."

He shuts his eyes again, humming as he returns his head to the pillow. Barely audible, he whispers, "I love you."

A loud thump echoes in your ears before a smile creeps up to your lips. "I love you too."

In the morning, he will deny this ever happening. Yet still, you will smile and go along with it. "Maybe I was imagining it," you will say with a shrug before disappearing to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. In your wake, he will whisper those three words again, and you will pretend you hadn't heard. Though a smile will fall on your lips when you return to him, two mugs cozied in your hands.

Now, you know that it's nearing four in the morning, and though your tiredness has long fled, you rest your forehead against his and shut your eyes. Lee Minho loves you, even if he denies saying it in his slumber-drunk world. He wants you to stay. And in return, he will stick by your side. Even when you forget Dori's birthday.

[guyinlovewitheremika]

The new key visual looks awesome!! Finally getting more Final Season artwork is so satisfying and this is pretty great! The marley arc is probably my favorite in the manga and getting even more promotional art for it is really cool : D Since we’re still 3 months from the airdate I hope we’ll get another Warrior-centric one, with the new and old crew, but rn, especially with manga context, I love this, and I need to ramble about it.

First of all, Mikasa!!! Mikasa front and center!!! lets gooooo ahh I’m so happy about this! I don’t think she’s ever been this focused on in any of the promotional key visuals and it’s been about time! She looks gorgeous and absolutely ruthless, I’m here for it. It’s also relieving to see that the scarf did in fact stay red which wasn’t totally certain in the pv. I also think it’s interesting that both that shot of her in the pv, as well as her in this visual both kind of highlight her more badass/ruthless side--I’m all here for it cause like, look at her!!! But she also spends a good amount of time in marley being sad and distressed which I hope they’ll do justice to. Either way, she looks amazing and I can’t wait to see her finally in motion.

Levi I’m a little less sure on--his face looks a little odd? Maybe it’s the nose? I’m not really sure. To be fair, his design has probably been the least consistent across the whole anime, and he’s certainly looked worse! But yeah, I’m not 100% sold on his look yet. Also just as it was in the first key visual, his cape is green? Even tho its specifically dyed black in the manga? I’m sure why and I’m kinda sad about that cause I would’ve loved to see that all black look on him, it’s an odd change.

Connie, Jean and Sasha all look good to me (I’m glad we’re getting Sasha artwork before, you know), but Armin gets pushed to the side pretty hard kind of? Given his rather small role this arc, I think it makes sense, tho hopefully key visuals for the later arcs will improve on that. Also sidenote, his pose reminded me a lot of Jean in the S2 Group visual lol

Hange being a bit smaller, but also being centered and depicted as the leader fits well here, especially with her being closest to the airship since she never leaves it. It reminds me of Erwin in a few other posters, kind of continuing the commander position, in a way

That’s some solid continuity!!! (also, Hange :/)

One thing I also dig about this visual is the look of certain textures, specifically metallic objects, like the blades, thunderspears, even the airship. 

It has this like..shiny glow? I can’t really express what I mean with it, but all these objects feel very tangible, very three dimensional, which is cool!

Unfortunately I don’t really feel the same way about all the textures present in this visual. See, non metallic textures, like clothing, skin, and the characters outlines in general have this kind of rough, or gritty look to them. The lines are clear and straight like they used to be, but it’s a little messier? The first key visual did the same thing, let me show you.

Compare it to something like this, where (even tho the resolution is a bit botched on tumblr) everything looks much smoother, cleaner, softer. Maybe it’s because I’m so used to Kyoji Asano’s style of drawing these key visuals for 6 years, but I think I prefer it over the approach of Tomohiro Kishi’s style. But this only is the start of seeing new artwork, maybe I’ll get used to it. It’s a bit odd as Wit’s animation style in the show was known for generally having thicker lines, and even tho they cut back on that in later seasons, it’s still not as thin as in the final season pv, yet its artwork has lines that feel thicker. It’s an odd back and forth.

My honestly biggest gripe with this key visual is it’s actual get up--having characters kind of float around in nothingness isn’t something I really love. I much prefer most of the older group visuals (like the recap movies or the S2 one) where characters at least seemed to stand on surfaces and physical space, and those who weren’t were either shown to be mid air, or obscured enough so you couldn’t see them stand in nothing. As a result, this reminds me a lot of the 3rd S3 visual

I wasn’t a huge fan of that one as it just reused and rearranged the Vol13 poses without really any effort. Like it just plants everyone there and I don’t think the result is really all that impressive. This one does this a lot better, as it has a bit more synergy going for it, there’s a bit of motion (the soldiers flying next to the ship looking like speedlines is a cool touch), and it just looks more interesting in my opinion. I also think it does the manga-ripoff better, as it clearly is meant to resemble vol 26 with the airship and the squad, but it doesnt just reuse the poses--they’re new here, and the overall positioning of everyone reminds me more of the Vol 25 alt cover, or the new 32 one. It feels true to the spirit of the manga without outright copying! I still don’t like the mid air floating, but other than that it’s a solid grouping!

One additional neat thing is that the new gear is drawn with so much detail! Just as in the PV. Which is awesome! Sometimes its a bit though to get a good look at all the specifics in the manga, but here it’s just---exciting. I never even realized that Mikasa has to swap to an entirely different set of 3DMG handle/trigger/grapple that’s attached to her gear as well--everyone else has only one set for either the gun+thunderspear combo or the swords, but Mikasa has both sets on her since she does switch to swords on 103. And its just fucking crazy just how much gear this girl has on her lmao (did you know a single thunder spear weighs 5kg? thats 20 on each hand! plus all the heavy gear that comes with it! she is too strong lmao)

Ultimately, I like this visual a lot. It’s not perfect and some things are gonna take a while to get used to, but overall, I’m so excited to see everyone’s different looks highlighted as the season goes on. And getting so much Marley arc promo atm is very much appreciated! Hopefully we get another one focused on the warriors soon, and, man, even tho it’s a spoiler, I would kill for one visual dedicated to Marley Eren specifically...like...please. 

Bring on the Final Season!!

[wonwoospartyhat]

Hello!! Could you write something with prompts 47, 67 & 71 for Harry Hook?? Thank you!!

request: Hello!! Could you write something with prompts 47, 67, & 71 for Harry Hook?? Thank you!!

a/n: this one is a bit long so i hope you enjoy! once again, big thanks to @pinkapatasaurus for helping me out with this one!

pairing: harry hook x vk!reader

warnings: whole lotta angst, kinda happy ending dw

word count: 1.5k

moment of tranquility || harry hook

This was the final straw. You were absolutely fuming. 

When you and the other VKs came to Auradon, you had to get situated for school. With that came dorms, and with dorms came roommates. Usually the dorms were divided-- boys on one side and girls on the other-- but there had been a mix-up with your information, and that ultimately led to you sharing a room with the notorious son of The Captain of the High Seas; the one and only Harry Hook. 

Normally, they would have fixed the misunderstanding fairly quickly, but with all the new students this year, they couldn’t find any dorms left, leaving you stuck with good ol’ Harry for at least ten months.

Now here you were, finally sick and tired of Harry’s antics. Ever since you moved in together, he’s taken an unreasonably large disliking to you, and it seemed as if he was genuinely trying to make your time with him feel like nothing but hell. He would hit metal spoons against pots while you were trying to sleep, put gum in your textbooks so the pages would stick, cut holes into the clothes you planned to wear the next day-- he even managed to get a snake to slither along the sheets of your bed! 

But this time, this time, he had really done it. 

Staring back at your furious, angry eyes was a photo of your family. The glass protecting it had been completely shattered, some pieces still on the floor. The frame was broken in half, with the wood creating large, pointy spikes. The photo itself, though… the photo was the worst part. 

Where your head had previously been, was now replaced with a large hole. Your little brother who had been standing beside you, had his face drawn on with blue strokes of sharpie. And finally, your father had one word written over him, in big, red letters-- DEAD.

With tears in your eyes, you began to reach for the picture with shaky hands. You grazed over the picture of your dad before beginning to furiously wipe the obscene ink with your wet thumb. You try desperately to do anything to remove the mess he made, but much to your great disappointment, no matter what you did, it wouldn’t come off.

Hearing the door unlock tore you out of your thoughts, and you turned your head towards the sound.

In came Harry, seeming very pleased with himself as he made his way to his bed. “Hey, I’m just gonna nap for a bit, wake me up for dinner.” 

“I hate you.” 

The words leave the tip of your mouth in an eerily calm way, considering the wave of trauma you were just hit by, and your gaze is fixated on the words smudged above your father’s head.

“No need to say it again, love, I already--” His voice cut off as he turned to look at you. “Woah, what happened?”

You try not to display your slowly weakening voice, but it was inevitable, and it cracked more immensely than you wished, “Oh, now you care, after everything, now you finally care.” Your eyes are bloodshot as you turn to face the utterly ruthless boy. 

“What do you mean?” He sits up, worried. “If this is about the pranks, I don’t know why you’re so worked up. They were all harmless!” 

He tried to argue his defense, but you were too far gone in your rage to back down. “So you’re saying this was harmless?!” You held up the photo, and all the colour from Harry’s face drained.

“What?! You think I did that? How horrible do you think I am?”

“I’m not stupid, Harry. I know that you have red and blue sharpies.”

“Yeah, so does everybody else in Auradon!”

“You hate me!”

“Not enough to leave you traumatized!”

I had no words.

“You can believe whatever you want, love, but just know that I’m telling the truth,” He says slowly. “It wasn’t me.”

“Then who the hell was it?!” You snap from your moment of tranquility. “What, do you think I’m just making this up?!”

“No! No, I don’t think you’re making this up, I just…” He nears you, lowering his voice as if you were an estranged animal in dire need of a cage. “I think that maybe you should calm down before jumping to conclusions.”

You approach him, stubborn and hurt. “You are the worst roommate, Harry Hook,” and before he could reciprocate, you add, “And I’m moving out.” 

Dread begins to fill the pigment of your cheeks as you head for the door. Harry’s face had completely sunk, looking like you had just told him he could no longer go back to Isle of the Lost. “What?!” He asks in a desperate attempt to halt your burning steps. “I- even if you did, where would you go?”

You turn to face him one last time, eyes filled with fear, but heart fortified with stone. “I’ll live on the street if I have to,” You say, taking a step closer. And as he stands there sincerely confused, you stare at his eyes far enough to reach his guilt-ridden soul, and utter, “Because I’d go anywhere to get away from you.”  

And you slam the door. 

Now outside of the Auradon Prep Dormitory, your head is repeatedly pecked with heavy drops of rainfall. Great, you think to yourself, just my luck. But, with your head held high, you continue walking with nothing but a backpack and a barely-alive mobile phone.  

Entering the closest coffee shop you can find, you sit down and pull out your school-given laptop, looking for the cheapest place to stay for at least the night. As you do so, you realize that you can’t go back to the room to get your clothes, not after what you had said. So, remembering most of your clothes had holes in them anyway, you search the online Winners store to find anything passable but fashionable. Scrolling for what feels like hours, you get a notification indicating that your laptop is about to kick the bucket if you don’t refill its juice. Silently panicking, you begin to frantically search for your charger, only to be met with its ghastly disappearance.  

You grab your phone, noticing it blinking at 6%, and quickly text Mal. Agreeing to the request for the use of her charger, you pack your things up and are well on your way.

As you walk, you notice a familiar face. Great, you think again, just my luck. What was he doing here? Nonetheless, regardless of his reasons, you needed to avoid him, so you spin on your heels and begin to walk faster in the other direction. Back alley it is. It seemed to be the best idea, except, when you peek back, you notice that he’s following right behind you. Now this was a problem. 

“Y/N, wait up!” He yells, now running across the street, avoiding the countless cars ready to run him over. “Y/N!”

You start on a slight jog, but that wasn’t enough to overcome his insane athletic speed. You hear the puddle behind you pitter-patter as the rain hits harder. “Y/N,” He calls out once more in a crude attempt to get to stop like you did back in your dorm. 

“Why are you here?” You roar. 

He slouches a little to catch his breath. “I have to let you know that however bad you think I am,” He pants. “I didn’t do it.”

You pull him into a very conveniently placed telephone box. “Why should I believe you? Huh? This is probably just another prank of yours! I-” Your voice shifts in tone, suspicious, “I even bet the rest of the school is out there, just around the corner to see you humiliate me once more!” 

“It-it’s not,” He stutters. “They’re not- I wouldn’t do that-” But the lack of articulation was enough to let the purpose of his fake persistence shine through. You knew he was just going to go back to making your life miserable as soon as you comply. “Trust me-”

“Trust you!?” You chuckle. “After everything you’ve done, You think I’m just going to drop all my allegations and side with you?!” Your arms waved in exaggeration as you screamed at Harry. The public eye might as well have thought you were crazy, drenched in water and charading dramatically. 

“Y/N, please-” 

“Let me go,” you growl, trying to make your way past his brawny build.

“If you would just listen-”

“I SAID LET ME GO!”

“I’m not letting you go and we both know you don’t want me to either.”

You stand there, still stubbornly adamant on your words, but something about the way his eyes pleaded for you to stay, allowed you to choke on your belief.

“Just one more night,” He asks. “One more night to prove that I’m not as bad you think, and I’ll be out of your hair. For good.” 

Calming down from your resurfaced rage, you let out the smallest voice, “Alright.”

He lets out a relieved sigh, looking around as he’s realized this was a great victory.

“But one night is all you get,” You add. “No excuses.” 

Harry wraps his arms around you, and you can feel the sound of his heart thawing to the calming beat of knowing you were coming home.

masterlist

[sardonic-courtney]

Crowley x Reader. We Met Before. P2/7

Summary: You end up living with Bobby after your parents die. You go to church and meet Priest Crowley and you end up getting along (if you know what i mean). A few years later when Bobby passes you move the the bunker with Sam and Dean and end up meeting Crowley again.

Part 1  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5  Part 6 Part 7

Warnings: Mention of loss, Spelling mistakes, Picture of gun (straight after keep reading), you go to church?

Around 1700 words.

Meeting:

(Around season 5 but not following story at all)

…the day before your 18th birthday. The day you can finally start training and helping on hunts. You fall asleep after the movie and wake up to your alarm reading 8.30am (Birthdate) Sunday. The day you had been waiting for. You could finally start training. Well after Sunday service, it was something your mother never failed to attend no matter what state she was hunting in and you kept that alive, even if you weren’t exactly sure how you felt about religion, but going helped you feel close to your mum again, and after hearing briefly about what the Winchesters had gone though it could be useful to learn a bit more. You got ready and headed to the kitchen where you met with Bobby.

“Happy Birthday kid” he said trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, even though he had woken up kinda early on a weekend.

“Hey, I’m 18 now, no longer a kid.” You smiled at him.

He shook his head in response chuckling as he grabbed an envelope with a box attached to it. When you received it you could see your name written messily on the envelope in a blue ink, you opened it and to no surprise was a card with (Your fav animal) wearing a hat, just like every year. You smiled and read the inscription inside. Then headed for the black box with a gold ribbon loosely tied around, Bobby had never been the best at bows, but you love the effort. Untying and opening the box you see a silver gun with carvings on, and a wooden handle with a pentacle carved. (Like below but you can change to preference)

“I know it's not much, but it was your dad’s, the boys found it when they…” he trailed of for a second. “when they were searching the nest, I thought it was the best time to give it to you, seeing as you’re so god damned persistent on training.”

“I love it Bobby, thank you so much” You gently lay it on the table and encase him in a hug, which he allows for a few seconds”

“Alright” He said patting your back and stepping away, “just because you have a gun doesn’t mean you are ready to hunt though. Understood?”

“Yeah I know” you reply trying not to laugh at his stern expression.

“Right well there’s some (f/f) if your hungry” he said moving to reveal a plate behind him.

“Oh my gosh you didn’t have to” You say looking at the counter with a neatly plated breakfast. You grabbed it and sat down enjoying the change from the usual cereal or toast, and with a mouth half full asked. “When can I start?”

“Lunch time. We will start with some basics ways to hunt and defend yourself.”

You were about to speak when he interrupted guessing your thoughts.

“You won’t be going on any hunts anytime soon until you are 100% ready. You can help out with some of the research though”

You rolled your eyes, as if you didn’t already help with the research. You finished your food and said your goodbyes, Bobby probably heading back to bed for a nap, you left heading for church to see Priest Peter. He was a nice priest and you got to know him a bit with the visits you made.

You were stood outside the church on time at 9:30 when you friend Lena came up and you started heading in. Lena was lovely, you had met at your first church service and continues to go together ever since. You didn’t really see each other outside, but you grew close nonetheless. She was only a year older than you but sometimes it seemed like she was half her age. She like the rest of people outside your small family didn’t know it was your birthday, and you liked that.

“So (Y/N), did you hear Priest Peters gone away for a while?” she spoke grinning at you, unlike you she didn’t like Peter, said his voice made her want to sleep.

“What, how come? I didn’t hear anything” you replied completely confused.

“Yep, No one knows for sure, but I think it's something about a family member getting married in Australia.”

“So, do we have Marcus today then?” Marcus was as you called him jr Peter, he was still in training and followed Peter around like a lost dog.

“Must do” She replied smiling, she never said it but you could tell she liked Marus a lot more, you took your seats, you sat on the second row back always. It was good for the winter because it was next to a heater, and good for the summer because it was near an openable window. You and Lena sat and talked about pointless things until everyone had sat down and the service started.

The priest walked up, but it wasn’t Marcus or anyone you had ever seen before. It was a very attractive man. He had messy hair, and very short beard on his pale skin. He was slightly chubby and wearing the usual priest get up, but for some reason seemed slightly us of place. Your eyes were drawn to him, it was like you couldn’t look away.

“Good Morning. I am Father Crowley, and I will be covering for Peter whilst he is away at his sister’s wedding.” he spoke confirming Lenas rumor.

He had a beautiful English accent and managed to get everyone's attention without raising his voice. The service went on as usual, although you payed more attention to the man in front of you instead of his teachings of God. Before long, it was over, and you all got up to give blessings and mingle a bit before you were to go. After a while Lena had left having to go run an errand, and you were talking to an old woman you did the occasional job for who lived about 5 minutes away. Just as you finished your conversation and the women went out, your phone buzzed, and you pulled it out of your pocket. 10.45 am, and two new messages.

One from Sam “Morning (Y/N), Happy Birthday, hope you have a good day, me and Dean will try to visit soon, I found a book in the bunker library you will like.”

Another from Dean “Happy Birthday (N/N) good luck training today, have a good one. Me and Sammy will swing round in a couple weeks to check in and make sure Bobby’s not driving you too crazy. Be safe xx”

You smiled as you slid your phone away deciding to reply later. You had been close to the Winchesters after the accident, both becoming brothers to you, Dean was however much more protective of you then Sam was. You looked around and noticed you were the last to leave, as you turned towards the doors you noticed Father Crowley still stood there looking at you.

“Did you enjoy the service?” he asked casually walking over to you.

You hesitated a moment before replying with a simple “Yes”. You don’t know why but he made you feel slightly nervous, not in a bad way, but you couldn’t describe it. You noticed up close his eyes were a sort of green colour.

“Good, I’m new to holding services to be honest with you…”

“(Y/N)” you filled in the blank.

“(Y/N) what a lovely name. Do you always come to church (Y/N)?” He asked lingering on your name.

“Yes, Father every week” you replied composing yourself a little. “It seemed like you had done a thousand services before, I don’t think anyone noticed”

“Thank you, and please just call me Crowley, I’m not a big fan of the whole Father thing” he said smiling. “What were your thoughts on the passage read today?”

“I’m not sure. I think in some ways it………...but it seems a bit………” You gave your opinion and Crowley responded with a grin.

“I agree completely. Well I assume you will be here next week?”

“Yes, I will be, and you?”

“Peter will still be away so it will be me again for at least another 2 weeks. Would you perhaps like to meet up after service for coffee and discus some more of your views?”

“Sure, I would love to” you replied trying to hide your smile, “I better get going though, goodbye Crowley.”

“Until next time” he nodded as you left to go back home.

Meeting up next week? For coffee? You thought as you walked along the path. Okay (Y/N) don’t think to much into it, he just wants to talk about the service. Oh, why did I agree, I don’t want to sit and talk to a priest about the bible, although I do want to talk to this specific priest more. Why am I even worrying about it it’s not like it’s a date, can priests even date? I wouldn’t even want it to be, he seems nice and he is attractive, but if he can date he's probably already married he did seem a bit older. It's probably a group thing and he just invited me along to go with them, of course that makes sense.

You finally arrived though the front door and are greeted with the sound of yelling coming from in the house.

“…no, you idjit, you’re supposed to give them the second number if you want the FBI………. Just don’t mess up again your lucky I have common sense.” He put the phone down just as you walked in the room.

“What was that?” You asked sitting on a chair.

“The wheelers, giving out the wrong numbers again. Your back later than usual service run over?” He asked looking at his watch.

“No just stayed to chat a bit after, it was a new priest.”

“Ahh I see, well do you want to watch a film seeing as its your birthday we could go get some snacks and rent a movie?”

“No way, you’re not getting out of this one, you said we would train at noon, its 11:30. We can watch a film after.” You looked up at him and he frowned.

“I don’t know kid, maybe we should wait another year.”

“Nope no chance, I’m going to get changed and then we can start.” Bobby looked unimpressed so you added on a “Please.” Giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Fine all right, alright go change we can start today”

“Yay thank you” You yelled heading up the stairs to get changed.

 A/N I don’t really know what a service looks like because i haven't been to one for ages, so apologise about that. Sorry if your names Lena as well don't worry show wont be mentioned much. Thank you for reading hope you enjoyed it. :D

[mrslittletall]

Now that I played through the Phoenix Wright Trilogy, it is time to rate it! Graphics The graphics are painted backgrounds as well as hand drawn character models with different expressions/tiny animations. They are pleasing to look at and never feel out of place. For a game that released first on the GBA, they are surprisingly clean. I have no qualms with the graphics whatsoever. I love that, to this day, the character animations from the courtroom are used in animations where stuff gets debated. Sound and Music The music is fantastic, though I have to say, the one of the first title is the best and feels like the most iconic, especially the Objection theme, which is even used as part of the main menu theme for the trilogy.  The first title has a lot of songs that are so nice to listen too, the court theme, the objection theme, the cornered theme is godlike and even the music outside of the court is fun, especially the theme song for the easy go lucky characters, like Lotta Hart.  The other titles declined a bit, I think the music is a bit too somber and sounds too serious and the objection theme, while still remixing the first one, just doesn’t have the same impact.  The second title has a fantastic new theme for the Search Core situation, used for a villainous reveal, but the third title kinda ruined it by using it EVERYWHERE. I kid you not, that theme played like... a 50 times or so, while it only was used for a certain character in the second one.  The sound effects are fine. The blips of the text aren’t annoying and the way the text is sometimes written faster or slower got a good impression how fast or slow a person was talking.  I liked that some of the sound effects from court were sometimes used in the dialogues to convey certain emotions also. Gameplay The game is a mix of a visual novel and an adventure game, so prepare to do LOTS of reading. You basically go to an area, then murder happens and then you have to find your defendant and proof their innocent. There are two kinds of gameplay, the first is the investigation, where you go around and look at stuff and talk with witnesses and the police and such. That is the most classical for an adventure game. The second one are the trials, where you have to proof your client’s innocence. It generally is by getting a witness on the stand and having to find the contradictions in their testimony. You can press them to get more information or present evidence once you spotted a contradiction. That is like a really nice puzzle and it could be pretty hard to find a contradiction, but it was all the more satisfying, when you found it and the testimony crumbled in itself and the prosecutor had their damaged portray after a good counter.  I have a bit of problems with it though, because sometimes you are obliged to show a certain piece of evidence. Most of the time, several are allowed, but I had one case, where a crime photo very much proofed what I wanted to say, namely that the victim used his left hand to hold his coffee cup, but for some reason, the lip stain on the coffee cup was the only valid evidence. Huh... In the second and third title, the investigation part actually got spiced up by making Phoenix able to see when people hide secrets from him and then we need to gather evidence and get them to spill their secrets. It is similar to the court room, but with only two parties. I really liked that parts. The gameplay was pretty fun, for me at least, but it has a few weaknesses of course, which are the usual adventure game weaknesses. Once you know the solution to the puzzle, the replayability is gone. Story and Characters That is where the game shines. Like I said, the game is basically a visual novel. It has its own individual stories for each case as well as some over arching storyline, mostly centered around a certain case, the DL-6 in the first title and then about the Fey Family in the second and third title.  The cases are sometimes a bit crazy, but that is too expected, the whole series is very whacky and filled with jokes and humours, sometimes good and sometimes bad jokes. The stories are interesting to follow and I often wanted to find out the truth myself, see if my suspicisions were correct and if we could get the real murdered on the stand to make a confession.  It is the most interesting when the overall storylines are getting involved, like in the first title, the DL6-Incident was both for the fourth and the fifth case and seeing how it all came together and got solved completely, was amazing.  The characters are a bunch of regulars and a bunch of case specific. Our main characters are clearly Phoenix Wright, the defense attorney, we play as and Maya Fey, a spirit medium. We also get a few regular prosecutors, with Miles Edgeworth for the first title, Franziska von Karma for the second and Godot for the third title. They could be considered the “villains”, but in a sense, they only try to serve justice, even though all of them have pretty nasty personalities at first.  We also have Detective Gumshoe, a very unlucky homicide detective, Larry Butz, Phoenix’ creepy friend and Lotta Hart, a woman who can’t decide on a career, but loves making photos, and Pearl Fey, the little cousin of Maya. We also have Mia Fey, Maya’s big sister and Phoenix’ mentor, but she tragically died... but that isn’t too much of a problem, because Maya is a spirit medium and can channel her, so that she often helps Phoenix out. All of them, besides Larry, who I have some troubles with, are absolutely adorable, they are quirky, they have moments, they have character growth, they have certain speech patterns and I love them. What I especially like, Maya is kind of Phoenix’ assistant and in pretty much every other story, I would have expected for them to go the shipping route, but Maya and Phoenix, despite being shipped heavily by Pearl, never show any romantic energy in my book. They are more platonic, more like little sister and big brother. It may come from the fact, that Maya is the little sister of Mia Fey, Phoenix’ mentor, and he views her more as a little sister, but their platonic relationship truly touched me.  When it comes to shipping, Phoenix and Miles have more erotic energy between them that Phoenix and Maya could ever have! Especially in the first title! It doesn’t surprise me that they are a popular ship.  Pet Peeves  Ok, some gripes I have with this game are the ages of the characters! Like, we had a case where a 14 year old girl planned a fake kidnapping, good, everyone was super stoked about that, but then it turned out, her 18 year old sister was a police woman at that time. And at age 23, she was considered a police veteran. What?! We also had a doctor who was said to be 31 years old... he looked like he was 55!  Franziska is another offender... one of these japanese tropes of the “child genius”. She became a prosecutor at age 13 and only was 18 when Phoenix first met her. She is from germany and I am pretty sure it is downright illegal to be a legal prosecutor there when you are not of age, so... Then... we have the fact that this game so OBVIOUSLY is set in Japan, but the localization acts like it is set in America... Yes, America has a super traditional japanese village, Maya Fey is wearing traditional japanese clothing, we have a case centered around the Steel Samurai, typical japanese kids TV where an actor is wearing a full body suit and masks himself. I am actually surprised that when they were in super obvious japanese settings, that they actually talked about everything like it was japanese, and not made onigiri into donuts. But ok, I can forgive this, because it is so dumb and the original setting is more than obvious.  Larry! The guy turned out to be creepy! He first got introduced as Phoenix’ idiot friend with a weakness for hot woman, but getting used by them a whole lot, ok, that is still fine. But with each entry, guy turned more and more creepy, until he tried to hit on a married woman and said that he wanted to date Pearl. Pearl is a nine year old child, wtf, Larry?! He had some moments, but even the game acknowledged what a waste of space he is and made him the butt monkey. Which I can fully and totally understand.  Ok, that has been it! Overall, I enjoyed these games a lot! I would like to try and find the others in the series, but I don’t think I will be able to find them...

[phoenotopia]

2019 December Update

The game is officially playable from beginning to end!

That battle has concluded...

Soon begins the war! But first, a brief reprieve for the holidays.

And I must throw in the usual caveats. We're still playtesting, we're still polishing, we still gotta get age ratings, more red tape, etc etc. And most importantly, we need to figure out the launch strategy. Think Megaman, charging his shot for 5 and a half years... We're not allowed to miss at this point. It has to HIT.

Luckily, we're in a relatively stable position where we don't have to rush the game out immediately. It's not LAUNCH or STARVE - it's... take some time to aim a little. We don't want to launch in the shadow of a bigger behemoth game, and we don't want to launch completely unknown either. We have to build up the game's media presence, which has been neglected so far. I know it's annoying to have to continue to wait... but please bear with us a little longer!

Here's what we've been doing for the past couple months.

---------- THE SCRIPT ----------

The script sits at over 80,000 words. I didn't realize the significance until a teammate told me that that's actually as long as a novel! I looked it up, and sure enough, it's a little longer than the first Harry Potter. But unlike Harry Potter, hardly any of these words are wasted on, pffft, narration. It's all juicy dialogue!

(Some of the game's golden nuggets of dialogue)

There was actually a lot of mundanity getting to the end. Pirate, acting as my editor, caught tons of errors and inconsistencies. One of the most recurring issues had to do with capitalization. I like to capitalize things, often inconsistently. Some common questions that arose:

Why is this text highlighted yellow, and this one highlighted blue?

Why is this monster name capitalized, but this monster not?

Why is this item capitalized, and this one not?

... and so on!

All very mundane issues, but all very necessary to tackle. And there was a TON of 'em. (em vs 'em was another thing we had to make consistent). I actually did some research to see what capitalization rules Zelda had. From what I could tell, when it comes to animals and monsters in the Zelda universe:

All monsters are capitalized

All regular animals are not capitalized

The Cuccos are special, and ARE capitalized

(a collage of Zelda pictures I assembled to study)

In the Zelda universe, all regular items are lowercase, but highlighted blue when mentioned in a quest context (e.g. "butter", "hylian wheat"). Items can be uppercase, if they are special named items (e.g. "Sheikah Slate"). We adopted similar rules as Zelda in some cases, and deviated in others. For instance, in the Phoenotopia universe, there isn't a clear distinction between animals and monsters - that fish monster is really just an animal that happens to be the alpha predator in its natural habitat. So most entities are lowercase, but "big deal" entities can be uppercase.

(we made a formal document to consult whenever a question regarding capitalization arises)

---------- A SAMPLING of QUEST AND CHARACTERS ----------

A lot of new quests have arisen in our great writing effort extending over the past several months. And with it, new characters, big and small. I'll tease a sampling of some of them here (warning: some light spoilers ahead):

My favorite new quest is undoubtedly our game's new "Trading Quest". This one takes inspiration from the Zelda series - the trading quest similarly has you roaming the world and its towns in search of needy people who desire a particular item. Deliver them the item they desire, and get a new item. Do this 10 times, and the ultimate weapon awaits you at the end.

I tried some things to vary up the formula. Some NPCs don't reveal what they need right away - steps have to be taken to get them there. It's also possible to go down the wrong route in the sequence, and have to double-back. We try to keep it interesting.

---------- LOOT PLACEMENTS & GAME BALANCING ----------

A great effort was also spent towards balancing the game this past 2 months. Because even one good healing item, easily obtained, can throw the game's whole difficulty off-kilter. And this same principle applies to other areas, like the money economy and player powerup options. Altogether, they form a very delicate ecosystem for enjoyment.

One of the recent things I did for this game was put down exactly where each heart ruby, energy gem, and moonstone could be found. And this was actually a rather involved process because you have a limited number of rewards to distribute (you wouldn't want the final max HP count to be a weird number like 297). Put too many rewards in the beginning, and the late dungeons would have no rewards to offer. Put too much in the end, and the inverse happens.

I found myself going back into earlier areas and plundering their rewards to fill the later areas. And then to ensure a relatively even spread of rewards within each area themselves, I drew crude maps of the dungeons & their reward spots, so that they could be studied from a bird's eye perspective.

But it was still not enough. With NPC quests and towns also taking up their own allotment of the rewards, I found myself running low on things to distribute. So I went back to the books and upped the number of rewards across the board. Before there were 44 Heart Rubies to collect - there are now 55. Before each Heart Ruby boosted your max HP by 5, but now each one now boosts your max HP by 4, so your final max HP count would still end up the same. It's kinda similar to what happened with Twilight Princess, where they broke with tradition and made 5 heart containers required to gain a new heart instead of the usual 4. Overall, the final tally for treasure to find is:

55 heart pieces

30 energy gems

108 moon stones

Who's crazy enough to collect them all?

---------- BADGES / ACHIEVEMENTS ----------

As one of the game's finishing touches, there's a menu for BADGES - they're this game's version of achievements. This is an ongoing task that we hope to stamp out this December. A few favorites of mine from the original flash game will return ("Pillow Connoisseur" is among them).

(The menu looks like this before any badges are earned)

I allocated slots for just 33 badges, so we're selecting the badges very carefully. We got rid of most of the fluffy ones that appeared in the flash game - we wanted to reduce the number of badges that you would earn automatically for just playing the game (so no more "1st boss", "2nd boss", "3rd boss" achievements). We're aiming for a healthy mix of easily earned badges, hard earned badges, collectathon badges, secret fun badges, and so on.

The badges have another twist - they bear miniaturized portraits of characters from the game! In the initial brainstorm mockup phase, I wasn't really fond of the badge designs. You got a medal of a heart because you collected some hearts, and you got the medal of a moonstone for collecting moonstones, etc. It just seemed so... expected.

(various badge mockups)

How could we engage the players on a more fun and deep level? The idea came - what if we attached pictures of the people you meet on your journey? And these people's stories and character would have a connection with the achievement? That could keep the player guessing which character would come attached with an achievement, or even reveal a hidden detail about the character you didn't know.

---------- MUSIC ----------

Will has just one more task to do. And that's to recut the song for the trailer. One of our other goals for this December is to make a really good trailer... again. There's actually 2 other trailers we cut and never made public for reasons. Maybe I'll talk about them one day in the post-mortem.

Since this may be the last conventional update, we wondered with which song to best leave the audience. And we decided that the most suitable song is "Sanctuary". It's a song that the player will often encounter often when they happen upon a quiet resting place in the world.

There's a little story behind this song. Two and a half years ago, I linked Will the Earthbound song, "Buzz buzz's prophecy", and told him, make a song like that!

In response, Will made "Sanctuary".

Give it a listen HERE. What do you think? Did Will hit close to the greats?

---------- FAN ART ----------

Three fan arts have come in the last couple months. I display them here proudly:

Another submission by Cody G! Gale looking shy as she flashes the V sign for the camera. I like how Cody G's art is continually evolving. Note the additional detail on her eye, and how her hair is drawn extra fluffy. Very nice!

Shafiyahh is another consistent contributor, and made one in the spirit of Halloween. I really like their costumes! Gale as an angel, and Lisa as a demon, fittingly captures their relationship, since Gale is the responsible one and Lisa is the troublemaker. So cute!

A contribution from a new artist, Negativus Core! Wow, Gale looks so bada-- here! We often forget about Gale's tough side due to the cutesy graphics. This is probably how her enemies see her. And the gummy (slime) is a cute touch!

---------- FINAL NOTES ----------

Similar to last year, this will be the last update for a while. If things run too slow, I'll post a status update come end of February 2020.

It's possible, and this is a BIG IF, that something notable happens sooner than expected - like we're going to a con or we have reason to drop the trailer sooner than later. If so, this blog will update earlier than expected. BIG IF. Otherwise, it's end of February till next you hear of us.

The game's development has reached a new uncharted territory. We're going to take the time and figure out exactly what our next steps are. In addition, we'll still be doing some playtesting and script polishing. And we'll be taking a break too. It is the holiday season, things move kind of slow around this time of year. We'll enjoy the company of our family and friends.

Until then, Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ upd8 2020-01-17

Alright, morningblogging yesterday’s 2020-01-17 upd8 to Homestuck^2 let’s go!  Spoiler-free again.  I kinda don’t want even the next chapter names image-spoiled above the cut anymore so I’m going to have to figure out WHAT to put above the cut in these liveblog posts for visual reinforcement... a unique silly icon?  Going back once I’m done with the upd8 and posting something non-spoilery but weird-looking out of context?

Eh, can’t be assed.  Just know that after this I’m going to pony up for the Patreon commentary and skim it for anything plot-useful to y’all (in a separate post).  Let’s get started.

Okay, what’s next:  Any bonuses?  Oh, none!  Phew.  Unless those are coming faster too and just staggered differently, which would mean I gotta overcome my irrational pre-Homestuck-reading anxiety even MORE often.  :T

No Homestuck you don’t GET to ask how my-- ah, right.  :P

(FYI, HS^2 has been good to my emotions so far, quite a balm for the epilogues, so once I START reading I’m usually fine; but after being hurt so badly how could I possibly convince my lizard brain to trust it until it’s right in front of me?  Seriously, just hearing that the upd8 has landed messes me up a bit until I come fix it by reading w/ y’all here.)

Okay, so whose feelings?  As much as I’ve been waiting for Jade, I hope this isn’t about Jade.

> ==>

Ah fuck, we’re finally with the Pursuit Crew.  Bracing myself.  That means we get to see probably sleeping Jade ( :C ), full-swing DaveKat (approving nod), the first canon onscreen look at masculine-mode Roxy (<3), a probably pretty pissed off Kanaya (possibly either the feelings target, the one Saying How Are Your Feelings, or both), and uh... did they drag Callie along?  Or leave her back there with her meta freakout?  Probably left her back there, but... hm.

Let me turn up the brightness on this screen to sear these next pages into my retinas.  (Also, it feels odd to still be using a four-person “==>” for these, although if Jade is still asleep the numbers might fit on both ends... :c )

> ==>

I don’t think Dad is in the spacefaring business, so this is probably one of Jake’s shittier spaceship designs.

> ==>

...well that’s a touch disturbing.  Is that a Jade-occupied bed or are those just pillows?

Oh what the fresh fanfic’y heck is this command.

> i enter.

Okay that’s great.  I got a kick out of that.

JADE [in calliope red]: the prince’s power grows.

--but that’s not.  That explains the narrative command text, it’s alt!callie talking through a still conked-out Jade.  Please let her wake up between speak-throughs, please tell me you’ve learned that trick??  I already know you’re gonna pull an “oh she was asleep pretty much all of those THREE YEARS OF TRAVEL” thing on me and that’s hard fucking enough to deal with.

KARKAT: JESUS CHRIST!

He’s actually using the full curse correctly, huh?

...These commands.  Guess part of the puzzle is how much alt!Callie is being typically morbid and how much she might actually be wising up enough to get a kick out of this.

> the knight of blood falls.

DAVE: dude can you chill for like even a single fucking second DAVE: also are you ok

Has CallieJade chilled for even a single second this entire trip??  Is he asking just if Karkat’s okay or Jade too???

--yeah I’m overblowing things out of nervousness.  Just wait and see a bit, boots.

Alt!Callie has at least learned to be more of a smartass:

> karkat is characteristically appreciative of the alarm call.

Shirt trade Karkat, nice.  And uh, Jade’s dress sure is a... dress.  Hm.

(Did alt!Callie alchemize adjustments to did she just luck out to have a red-symbol’d Bec belt and accent leggings?  I’d prefer the former, because as much as it would be acceptable within Homestuck proper, using the transition between the epilogues and this new-author’d work to just HAPPEN to give her a fitting outfit without an excuse via providence is kind of lazy.)

KARKAT: OH, PARDON THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR OVERREACTING A LITTLE WHEN MY GOOD FRIEND "POSSESSED JADE" BUSTS INTO MY RESPITEBLOCK AT 5 AM! KARKAT: NEXT TIME I’LL JUST PULL THE COVERS BACK AND LET HER CLIMB IN! JADE: i am uninterested in that scenario. KARKAT: GREAT! POSSESSED JADE ISN’T EVEN HORNY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?

...please let that mean he’s not used to her being possessed all the time and she wakes up sometimes.  PLEASE.

DAVE: but im pretty sure i locked that door JADE: i unlocked it with my mind. DAVE: fuck KARKAT: FANTASTIC. JADE: the prince’s powers are growing, but so are mine.

Dave, I’m pretty sure regular-ass no-Green-Sun Space powers can flip a few lock tumblers too.  (--though, I guess from context this was a Jakeship technolock.  Confirmation on the ship’s bad taste in design.  --I think I’m foggily remembering it said in the Epilogues that they took one of Jake’s ships just like Dirk did, too... man, being depressed so much by the Epilogues sure took a lot out of my ability to recall them decently.)

KARKAT: LIKE YOU DON’T FLOAT AROUND LIKE A CREEPY PIECE OF SHIT ALL DAY AS IT IS?

God DAMN IT she’s been asleep and possessed the whole fucking time.

> sleep is abandoned, coffee sought.

More obligatory DaveKat being cute, somehow only emphasized by the embarrassing glowing-with-power observer who doesn’t really get any of it.

Ah, here we go:

> the rogue is also awake.

Oh huh.  Cool!

Hero outfit, understated...  her his choice of heart-shades color-coded to stand out from Dave more to avoid further mistaken identity cases.  Works well!  (Holy shit I only JUST remembered at the end to go back and correctly gender Roxy as him, that was close. I blame the epilogues for a lack of visual reinforcement; I shouldn’t have as much trouble soon enough.  Seriously, I don’t remember ANYTHING without visual reinforcement, I think that’s why I remember so much of Homestuck proper so clearly.)

KARKAT: OH SHIT, THERE SHE IS! I DIDN’T EVEN HEAR HER FOLLOW US! ROXY: sometimes a girls just got to get her drift on i guess ROXY: it be like that

ilu roxy.

I missed Roxy so much, you guys.  I need more of him remarking on all this crazy shit if I’m gonna stay sane though all this.  (And I need more of him and AWAKE JADE kicking ass independently or together if I’m going to continue to believe there’s justice in the world.)

> ==>

We rarely saw Rose drinking anything but the rare coffee in canon, but I think Kanaya would have gotten her plenty into tea, yes.  Or at the very least, wanting the aesthetic of drinking tea with Kanaya would have gotten Rose into tea even if it never crossed Kanaya’s mind to try the stuff.

ROXY: well i mean who knows what she drinks now ROXY: dirk probs tossed the coffee machine out the space window right away ROXY: dude doesnt "believe" in "substances" > the prince is contemplated for a moment in silence.

FUCK, Dirk can see the narrative all the way out here???  No wonder alt!Callie’s forced to have possession turned on 24/7.  That’s fucking disappointing.  How the hell are we going to get any proper Jade time with THAT hanging over our heads?  She’d only be able to do anything when Dirk’s knocked out, and maybe not even THEN!

I was virtually promised more of actual non-asleep Jade getting shit done in HS^2.  Now there’s an even longer wait on it than I expected.  This sucks.

(EDIT: BOY did I misread that link line. Thinking “is contemplated” meant is sitting contemplating, when it meant "is being contemplated by everyone here". That was dumb of me.)

*clicks that next link*

Oh my goodness, Roxy joined the Bird Hair Crew.  It makes him look like a fucking asshole but I kind of love it.

KARKAT: IS THERE MILK?

I can’t believe Karkat is okay with drinking milk.  --yes, culturally Trolls are more comfortable with animal excretions than we are, but you would’ve thought years of railing against Equius would have purged any tolerance the idea of milk from his psyche.

I guess Dave introduced him to cereal, and it was all over from there.

DAVE: this is more like a castle DAVE: a castle of idk DAVE: twenty something ennui

Sounds like a relatable mood.  Especially considering Dirk probably decided to conquer reality out of almost nothing but twenty-something ennui.

Alright.  You aren’t going to turn Kanaya into an alcoholic or anything on us are you?

> the knight of time seeks a sylph...

--this is the shittiest shipboard starship aesthetic.

> ...and finds her, momentarily.

WOW that looks fucking depressed.  :(

> ==>

...okay you know what?  Never mind.  That outfit has wrapped straight back around into Trying Too Hard and is now hilarious.

DAVE: you ever feel like our whole lives are eventually gonna end up like this DAVE: just blasting through space on a sweeps long journey to ""somewhere"" chasing after or running from some vague enemy thats sometimes a god modded pet dog and sometimes your dad DAVE: without the faintest fucking idea of whats going to happen when we get there DAVE: thats a little specific but you know what i mean

Why do you think the epilogues upset us so much?  We thought we’d won free of that bullshit.

> ==>

Oh jesus christ that’s the most depressingly sad I’ve ever seen Kanaya drawn.  :C

--Karkat got you to watch Serendipity?  That’s amazing, Dave.

KANAYA: You Arent Reminding Me Of Her As I Rarely Think Of Anything Else KANAYA: I Close My Eyes And I See Her KANAYA: I Keep Them Open And I See Her

Fuck.

Y’know how little showing these two in love and actually HAPPY together we’ve seen in this entire comic and its subworks?  Despite them having spent at least a few happy years together we only saw in tiny screenclips?  And how Candy alluded super hard that they most likely couldn’t get that in this real timeline where shit’s going down?

Seriously, FUCK.  You could at least pretend to give us some hope, here.

Oh no, don’t ask for the nursery story, Dave.  Unless it turns out to be a funny one or a Rose twist on an old story or something.  Which it probably is, I should stop worrying.

> ==>

KANAYA: Oh Its A Wriggler Story About A Young Prince And The Beloved Flower He Loved And Lost DAVE: flower DAVE: like a plant KANAYA: Its A Fairytale Dave DAVE: right KANAYA: A Singular Wild Rose He Failed To Cherish When He Had Her KANAYA: And His Journey Of Discovering What She Meant To Him All Along KANAYA: Culminating In A New Quest To Find Her And Win Her Back

Dirk you PIECE OF SHIT did you rewrite the narrative of the fucking STORIES SHE TOLD CHILDREN?!??  Does the fact that alt!Callie is only in the present mean he can rewrite ANY past event we didn’t literally SEE???  FUCK you.  Seriously fuck all of this.

Please tell me she was kidding just then, or realizes there’s fucking something wrong with what she’s saying and getting angry or.

(EDIT: shoutyourporpoise replied: "Hey, idk If you picked up on this, but the 'nursery story' Rose told to the wigglers is just The Little Prince, which is maybe a BIT early for them to read, but I don't think that's a case of Dirk changing the narrative; its just Rose being Too Adult as usual." Oh, damn, I didn't even CATCH that it was that story. That makes all of this a lot more forgivable, even if pretty unforgivably leaning into the fiction that Dirk used to brainwash and kidnap her. Maybe that's exactly why it worked -- fiction, a story so blazed into the public consciousness? Hm. Thanks, shoutyourporpoise.)

KANAYA: But In A Way I Feel As If It Is the Greater Universe Trying To Tell Me Something

Mother fuck I’m even going to have to see our protagonists warped by Dirk when they’re ostensibly FULLY SHIELDED aren’t I.  There’s only so much of that I would be able to take, you know.

KANAYA: It May Simply Stem From My Longing To See Her Again And How Much Is Indicative Of Something More Sinister KANAYA: She Is A Goddess Of Light And The Only Of Her Kind We Know Is Alive After All KANAYA: Maybe Shes Wrested Dominion Of The Entire Concept In All Its Appearances Within This Frame Of Reference

Hm.  Well, it being a product of Rose’s ascension instead of Dirk’s is possibly a more charitable take, with Ultimate Rose projecting the delusion enforced on her backward, visible to past Rose’s Sight when she isn’t paying attention and thus paving the way for Dirk to paradoxically exploit that “ideal” as something Lighty and Important and “Perfect”.  I still don’t fucking like it though.

> ==>

DAVE: sorry i know you say you got your badass monster powers but kanaya you look tired as hell DAVE: not that im tryna psyche you or whatever but youre waxing poetic in the dark which i guess is maybe on brand but still

Yyyep.

DAVE: unless terezi is lurking in the vents somewhere and now that i bring that up its actually not out of the question so im kind of gonna be thinking about that one for a while

Pffff.

DAVE: youre the only person i know whos still basically the same as when i met you

--Which is kind of going to have to change, right?  She’s got some other cosmic purpose ready to change her a little more than she changed pre-human-troll-meetup, you’d think.

> ==>

Cute as hell.

> ==>

KANAYA: How Are Your Feelings

There’s the title drop.  I’d think Dave’s doing pretty well, considering?  Still fucked over by Dirk betraying and tricking Rose away who he’s been close with all his life, but.

> ==>

DAVE: except sometimes your best friend disappears and your other best friend goes into a ghost coma and your third best friend fucks off to space with your dad DAVE: the dude youve spent the last 7 years convincing yourself isnt an egomaniacal anime villain DAVE: and who isnt actually lying in wait to completely decimate your life and your emotions and shit

Ah... yeah.  A little worse than my casual list, huh?  Forgot that Jade vanishing into a possession-coma for THREE FUCKING YEARS is going to be hard on people inside the comic too, fuck.

DAVE: maybe it was naive to think that a bunch of twenty something trauma victims could run a society

I was honestly surprised they TRIED to run society at all.  Jasp even just highlighted a big reason why not in the bonuses.

DAVE: cool how earth c existed for centuries then we show up and manage to ruin society in seven fucking years

:(

Well, the trolls got THEIR lesson on why they didn’t deserve to rule over their new universe like gods; I guess some of y’all needed that lesson too?

DAVE: every serious conversation i have inevitably falls apart into riffing on a casual acquaintances ass

True.

Dammit, Dave didn’t feel like he could just be Some Guy even on Earth C.  :(

> ==>

...don’t think I’ve forgotten that nursery story, though.  I don’t want to think that it was something that ACTUALLY past happened, especially not without manipulation.  Like maybe past Rose was foreseeing the false purpose that Dirk wrote for her or the like, a cooperative misunderstanding between the two instead of Dirk or Rose literally reaching back in time.

> meanwhile...

KARKAT: WAIT, WHY THE FUCK AM I EVEN ASKING? HE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT FINE. KARKAT: ARE ANY OF US? ARE YOU? ROXY: not rly KARKAT: EXACTLY.

:(

--Oh right.  I remember that Callie and Roxy were going reasonably steady in Meat even though it was only alluded to, she didn’t freak out and stay awol or what have you.  That’s good to remember.  But it means Roxy deliberately left her behind to go on this dangerous quest, for years.  :C

KARKAT: KANAYA BARELY EVEN TALKS, CALLIOPE WON’T LEAVE THEIR CABIN, JADE JUST FLOATS AROUND LIKE A CREEPY BALLOON THAT’S MOSTLY MADE OF HAIR.

Oh, SHIT.  I should have read one line further.  They DID bring her.  Alt!Callie being here too must really FUCK with her.  ...maybe she can actually learn to accept that alternate way her life might’ve played out, though?

KARKAT: THE REALLY FUCKED UP THING IS I MIGHT BE THE MOST OKAY OUT OF ALL OF US, WHICH IS HOW YOU KNOW SHIT HAS REALLY GONE GLOBES UP.

Quite true.

ROXY: ur kinda an intense dude anybody ever tell u that KARKAT: NO.

Pff.

> ==>

KARKAT: AGAINST PRETTY MUCH ALL ODDS, AND DESPITE ME NOT DESERVING ANY OF IT, I ENDED UP GETTING PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING I WANTED. KARKAT: OVER AND OVER AGAIN. KARKAT: SOMETIMES IT ALMOST FEELS LIKE WHATEVER SLATHERING MONSTROSITY OF A COSMIC HELLBEAST THAT PUT ALL THIS SHIT INTO MOTION...ACTUALLY LIKES ME?

Well, if you want to blame Lord English for instance... we never saw Caliborn and Karkat interact much, but the parallels between the two were drawn so severely that Caliborn was basically the idealized, multiverse-threatening Ultimate Kismesis that he’d always dreamed of.  And operated against him without him even ever quite realizing it.

If a level of “respect” went from Caliborn to Karkat, too, from his Lord-Englishy vision nigh-omnipresent, then this outcome isn’t very surprising at all.

> ==>

(I don’t quite feel I get why Roxy shifted to this exasperated-Dave expression, but I get logically that he’d been waiting for Karkat to make a breakfast choice... Homestuck proper rarely pulled a “last line said corresponds to next-panel’s expression” without either leaving the conversation blank or having the NEXT lines of the conversation reinforce it, to prevent this inelegant misunderstanding.  Andrew was really damned talented in getting his point across visually, in that regard.  Just like, that careful visual intent delivery.)

Alright, I guess that’s it for this short upd8!  Meeting the pursuit crew was both more and less difficult than I expected.  Hopefully I get desensitized a bit as the characters continue to feel semi-almost-sorta-fine.

I have NO idea how this group is gonna work as a proper crew when we get to whatever weird other-players’ session this shit is going down in, though.

[metalandmagi]

Hogwarts House Anime Recommendations pt 2: Gryffindor!

A couple years ago, I made some posts with anime recommendations based on Hogwarts houses. And in case you haven’t noticed, there’s been a lot of new anime that’s come out in that time, and I’ve thought of some other things that I think people may have missed. And I was bored…So if you have ever wanted some anime recommendations with the same general themes and tones, maybe you’ll find something here.

Other house recs:

Gryffindor pt 1

Hufflepuff pt 1

Hufflepuff pt 2

Ravenclaw pt 1

Ravenclaw pt 2

Slytherin pt 1

Slytherin pt 2

Last but not least is GRYFFINDOR! Or as I call it, the house of main characters, where one is brave, adventurous, heroic, reckless, and always fights for what’s right. Because Gryffindor is kinda the...most popular house, I always seem to focus on more popular anime because they fit the traits so well. So that’s why this list may seem a little more mainstream. And I talk about most of these in my 2019 Anime Worth Watching lists, so the descriptions might sound familiar. 

Cardcaptor Sakura: A classic magical girl anime in which a 10-year-old girl named Sakura accidentally releases a bunch of magical cards made by a mysterious sorcerer into the world and must collect them all to stop them from wreaking havoc. This anime was made in 1998, but it recently got a continuation called Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card, which picks up right where the series left off and is equally amazing. This is a delightful anime with amazing characters that formed a lot of people’s love for the magical girl genre. There’s mystery, action, adventure, cute outfits, cute romance, and like any other CLAMP work, a lot of LGBT subjects. And when I say subjects, I mean CLAMP makes a lot of canonically gay characters who are in canon relationships, and no one can dispute it. 

While this show is very much for a younger audience at the beginning, I watched it as an adult, and I still loved it all the way through. Sakura is a great Gryffindor protagonist who always does what’s right even when it’s hard, and she grows so much over the course of the show. Not to mention the mystery of the Clow Cards will always keep you coming back for more. And I should mention, the best thing about Cardcaptor Sakura is that it’s kind of the start of the larger CLAMP universe. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, the creators of Cardcaptor Sakura (a group called CLAMP) have made a ton of other works over many years...and eventually those all sort of intersect and basically become the Marvel Cinematic Universe of anime and manga. While this is a good, lighter story with some heavier undertones, it can be a good introduction into the darker CLAMP universe. So, if you want a cute, classic magical girl show that doesn’t overdo the campiness, this is a great one that a lot of younger people haven’t watched. 

Demon Slayer- Kimetsu no Yaiba: A shounen action/adventure in which a boy named Tanjiro comes home to find his entire family has been slaughtered by demons...all except for his younger sister Nezuko who has been transformed into one! Now he and Nezuko must embark on a journey to turn her back to normal while fighting demons along the way. The premise may sound basic, but this is a great show with a well-made protagonist who is not super annoying, a kick ass little sister, and some very entertaining side characters. Not to mention the fighting system and the villains are super dope. 

It hasn’t even finished airing yet but this has been one of the most popular shows of 2019, and for good reason. While it started out as kind of...bland...it quickly grew into one of the most entertaining and emotional shows of the year with its own jaw droppingly beautiful and unique animation from Ufotable. I think you could make the argument that Tanjiro is a Hufflepuff because he’s so blatantly nice, but I think he’s a true Gryffindor at heart because he does a lot of reckless fighting all for the sake of others. Yes, he is very kind to the point where even when he fights demons, he does so with a sense of compassion and understanding as opposed to the “I must avenge my family” trope. I also think Nezuko is a Gryffindor because she is constantly fighting off her demonic instincts in order to help people. They are a great duo, and the side characters really bring the show together for an awesome, emotional, action-packed adventure that I hope will become a modern classic. 

Made in Abyss: A mysterious adventure story (with a dash of horror) that takes place in a fantasy city where explorers are constantly trying to get to the bottom of a mysterious chasm that lays outside the town. The story follows a girl named Riko and a boy named Reg who are pushed into an adventure trying to find Riko’s mother at the bottom of the abyss and discover the secrets of the creatures inside it. It’s a thrilling escapade with a lot of mind-blowing mysteries. Yes, the characters are drawn in a cute chibi style, but do not be fooled. This show has some heavy subjects and more gore and body horror than you’d expect.

This was one of the best shows of 2017 (if not the best), and I need so much more of it. Riko and Reg are great Gryffindor protagonists who are strong in different ways, brave beyond measure, and loyal to a fault. The creatures and threats of the abyss are incredibly interesting (and also terrifying), and the world building and atmosphere are off the charts. You know this is going to be a great show from the first episode.

Run with the Wind (Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru): An anime in which 10 misfit roommates are all manipulated/coerced/forced into running in a prestigious race even though almost none of them have any running experience. Now, you may think a “sports” anime with so many main characters would be trying to juggle too much. And you’d be wrong. This anime has the perfect balance of amazingly real characters and an intriguing plot that makes you really want to see these boys succeed even though you know it’s a crazy idea. 

Okay, I admit that Haiji, the captain of this team who is responsible for forcing all his roommates to participate is 100% a Slytherin, but the main character Kakeru is a Gryffindor all the way. He’s a good example of a different kind of Gryffindor. He’s not the outwardly boisterous or chivalrous type of sports anime protagonist, but he is quietly brave and definitely reckless in his own way. Also, the team in general has a lot of Gryffindor spirit because they are putting in so much work and commitment to something for the sake of their friend, even though they know they have no chance of winning this race. And that takes a lot of bravery. I also think the whole team has a sense of unity and camaraderie that is unique to Gryffindor house. This anime was absolutely amazing, definitely one of the most underrated shows of 2018, with great music, a lot of feelings, really defined characters with great interactions, and an unbelievable story. Plus, it’s made by Production I.G, the king of sports anime, so you know it’s gonna be good!

Dororo: A dark action reboot of the 1969 anime in which a samurai lord trades the limbs and organs of his son to demons in exchange for prosperity for his land. Unbeknownst to him, his son grows into young warrior named Hyakkimaru, who travels across the land fighting monsters to regain his lost limbs with the help of a lovable scamp named Dororo. This show is how to do a dark gritty reboot right, with more fleshed-out story lines, cool animation, a compelling story of brotherhood and good and evil, AND IT HAS A MAIN CHARACTER WHO CAN’T SEE OR HEAR WHO TOTALLY KICKS ASS! 

I cannot sing the praises of this anime highly enough, even though the last episode was a little...different from what we were expecting. Still, I had Dororo as my top anime of 2019 until I watched The Promised Neverland, because every episode was such a wild ride full of action, adventure, and family drama that’s actually interesting. This is a solid Gryffindor anime because the whole thing centers around sacrifice and how what is considered “good” differs from person to person. What starts out as a clear line between right and wrong becomes blurry as Hyakkimaru regains his limbs, and eventually he must avoid becoming a monster himself, with the help of 100% Gryffindor certified Dororo. Dororo is a treasure to this world, and we are not worthy of this wonderful child.

I also want to include another bonus anime: Vinland Saga! It’s the long-awaited Viking anime about a young boy named Thorfinn who must fight among the enemy to avenge the death of his father. I had a bonus anime with Ravenclaw, and I wanted to include this one because even though it also is not over, I can just tell it’s an absolute Gryffindor anime. I can’t really explain why this is a Gryffindor anime at its core, but it just is. It’s the general vibe of bravery and recklessness that makes it a good show for this house.

[makeste]

these are not kings, but princes

Or, “In this post, makeste essays about KHR, and the ephemeral nature of youth.”

So as previously mentioned, I have been rereading Katekyo Hitman Reborn, a series which came out fourteen years ago (a.k.a. long enough that there are people who are now Tsuna’s age that weren’t even born yet when the manga first debuted). This series ended in November 2012 (a.k.a. the last time the U.S. elected a President that wasn’t evil). Five and a half years later, I still haven’t gotten over it.

And here is the thing—KHR, while certainly a successful series and one that I love, was never anything particularly special. By which I mean it wasn’t one of the all-time greats. It had a lot of flaws, and even the things it was good at had by and large been done before in other series, and in many cases, done better. It’s not one of the series I mention when people ask me for anime and manga recs. I would not put it on a top ten list of must-sees or must-reads. (The one exception is the Varia Arc; this absolutely is in my top ten shounen battle arcs, and eleven years later it still kicks ass.) 

The humor (although I love it! so much!) is not everyone’s cup of tea. The art style starts out kinda rough, then gets really good for a while, but then starts to deteriorate toward the end of the Future Arc (although the characters are still as pretty as a Marvel Chris at sunrise). The plot has brief moments of brilliance, but tends to fall flat on its face at critical moments. It’s got issues with its representation of female characters. And so on and so on. The point is, it’s far from perfect.

The question that I periodically ask myself, then, is: Why is this series my favorite ever? What the hell is it about KHR that captures my mind’s attention so insistently? What is it about this series that I just haven’t seemed to be able to find anywhere else?

The characters? That’s one potentially obvious answer. I definitely love these characters. I’ve essayed before about how unusual Tsuna is as a shounen protagonist in that he does not want to be the GREATEST! SOMETHING! OF ALL TIME!, but instead just wants to be plain and ordinary and normal. In a genre filled with Type A leads, having a Type B hero is a pretty bold move. Rather than a Naruto or a Luffy, Tsuna is a Frodo; someone who’s reluctant to take part in this adventure and would rather be anywhere else, but chooses to stick it out anyway for the sake of protecting his friends.

I’ve also fangirled at length about Yamamoto, who somehow walks a perfect balance between being cheerfully oblivious and extraordinarily perceptive, and is pretty much the definition of TVTropes’s Beware the Nice Ones. And then, of course, we have Gokudera, my forever favorite, who is a flawless bundle of angst and idiocy and tsundere and badassness, and whom we must always keep safe and protected because he is precious.

The characters are definitely a big part of it. But not all of it. For me, at least, I realized that there is something else that draws me to this series time and again. And what it is, is this:

To me, this series is about potential.

What I mean is this. Tsuna and the other main characters are all children, not yet even out of middle school.

They screw up. They make mistakes.

They learn from them.

They grow; they improve. They get better. And better, and better.

They’re young, all of them. They face challenges they aren’t and shouldn’t be prepared for yet, and somehow they manage to overcome them, at times almost purely on accident. They’re constantly in over their heads, because they’ve been tossed into this chaotic world with little to no experience, dealing with things like mafia succession politics, rival families, and the end of the fucking world. They struggle, and they flounder.

And in the end, part of the reason they succeed is because of that same youth and inexperience. They do things they shouldn’t be able to, because they don’t understand that they shouldn’t be able to do them.

They’re hopeful, because they can’t comprehend the full weight of the odds that are stacked against them. They’re young and invincible. They’re naive. They insist on seeing the best in others. They’re ignorant of the harsher realities of the world, and in that ignorance they help make it a better one. They can’t conceive of failure, because they haven’t lived long enough to come face to face with an obstacle they couldn’t defeat.

And the series ends with them still like this. In the end, Reborn never successfully makes Tsuna into a mafia boss. He’s changed, yes—night and day from the way his character was at the very start of the series—but he hasn’t fully matured yet. None of them have. They are frozen in time at age fourteen, smack dab in the middle of their adolescence. Forever caught on the bridge between childhood and adulthood. And for as long as I can remember, I’ve always been drawn to and captivated by that particular idea.

I’m not sure why that is, exactly. It’s like nostalgia, I guess, except more powerful somehow? Something about the transience of it. If childhood is spring, then adolescence would be the summer; bright, restless, and filled with long days that make you thirst for adventure. And sometimes, also, just so damned fucking hot that you wish it would just end already. And eventually it does, and you become an adult, and by and large things are usually a lot more comfortable and settled down. 

And don’t get me wrong—I wouldn’t want to trade that, and I definitely don’t ever want to actually go back to my own awkward teenage years. But there’s still some part of me that loves to romanticize that period of discovering so many things for the first time. Of being free from true responsibilities, and of having the potential to become absolutely anything at all.

To me, this is the most seductive part of KHR. Yes, ostensibly it’s a shounen battle manga about mafiosos with superpowers. But it’s also a slice of life series about middle schoolers who just happen to go to a really weird middle school filled with really weird other middle schoolers. And who themselves are also really weird. And have superpowers. And sometimes they have the aforementioned mafioso battles.

But also they watch fireworks.

And do homework, and play baseball, and invent secret languages. They are children, and we’re watching them grow up. But because of the magic of fiction, they never quite will. They are permanently caught in this impermanent stage between who they were and who they one day could be. And because of this, their potential is unlimited.

And this, ladies and gentlemen: this is my motherfucking emotions trigger.

I will now proceed to quote “Future Looks Good” by OneRepublic.

You see, I had this crazy dream last night

This man, he talked to me

He told me everything that’s good and bad

About my history

And he said that you are, you are the future

You are, you are the future

And the future looks good

Does that make sense? I hope it makes sense. 

To me, it could not be more perfect. They’re young enough to still be vulnerable, but old enough to stand their ground. There are so many what-ifs about who they’ll grow up to become, but the series only ever teases at it. We’ll never actually see it happen. But we get to partake in the journey, and because that journey never reaches its end, the ending can be whatever we want it to be.

But personally, I think it’s best if it always remains a mystery. Because this, here, this snapshot of this all-too-brief, transitional period of their lives: this is what I live for and breathe for and crave in fiction. These are not kings, but princes.

And one day, they’ll inherit the earth.

But not yet.

[bitchinhanscom]

Pictures of You Pt.5

Parts: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4]

Pairing: Slowburn!Richie x Reader 

Summary: You go into Neibolt and a revelation is made about your fear 

A/N: Sorry this part took longer than the others. I had major writer’s block with this part. I can’t wait to write the next part though so hopefully it will be up sooner! Enjoy!

   When you all finally reach the Neibolt house, Bill is standing on the front porch of the house.

  “Bill! Bill, you can’t go in there! This is crazy!” Beverly yells to him.

  “Look you don’t have to come in with me.  But what happens when another Georgie goes missing? Or another Betty? Or another Ed Corcoran? Or one of us? Are you just gonna pretend it isn’t happening like everyone else in this town? Because I can’t. I go home and all I see is that Georgie isn’t there. His clothes, his toys, his stupid stuffed animals, but he isn’t. So walking into this house, for me… is easier than walking into my own.” You feel bad for Bill and you’re so fucking scared. You have to be brave though. If anything, for Bill.

  “Wow.” Richie says

  “What?” Ben asks

  “He didn’t stutter once.” Richie replies. He starts walking up the stairs to the house and you go to follow him but then Stan speaks up.

  “Wait! Um, shouldn’t we have some people keep watch? Just incase something bad happens.”

   “Wh-wh-who wants to stay out here?” Bill asks. You raise your hand. If you had to go in there, then you would, but if you had the chance to stay outside then you sure as hell would take it. Beverly is the only one that doesn’t raise her hand. You gain a lot of respect for Beverly in that one moment. Everyone slowly lowers their hands and you can hear Richie say “fuck” under his breath. Fuck indeed.

  You guys draw straws. You, Richie, Eddie, and Bill draw the short straws. You four slowly walk into the house. Your hand was still shaking. You’re pretty sure it’s shaking worse now, actually.

  “I can’t believe I pulled the short straw. You guys are lucky you aren’t measuring dicks.” Richie says.

  “Actually, I think I would’ve been lucky if we were measuring dicks since I don’t have one.” you respond.

  “Both of you, shut up.” Eddie says softly. He’s scared. You all are.

  The house looks even worse on the inside. There are leaves and sticks all over the floor, the wood is rotting so bad, furniture is knocked over, it smells like shit, and it’s dark. You can feel chill bumps rising on your arms.

  “I can smell it.” Eddie says.

  “Don’t breath through your mouth.” Richie responds.

  “How come?”

  “Cause then you’re eating it.” Richie responds. Eddie makes a gagging noise and pulls out his inhaler. You all look around the house and become more familiar with your surroundings. You notice Richie walking into another room towards a bunch of cobwebs. He pulls a piece of paper from the cobwebs. You follow him and Bill and Eddie soon join you. Richie looks up. The look on his face is a look of pure horror.

  “What is it?” you ask.

  “It-it says I’m missing.” he responds.

  “Y-you’re not missing, Richie.” Bill says.

  “Born in the city of Derry. That’s my shirt! That’s my hair! That’s my face!” Richie says.

  “Richie, calm down.” you say. Your voice comes out shaky.

  “That’s my name! That’s my age!” he goes on and becomes increasingly loud. You grab him by his shoulders.

  “Richie!” you start to say but you’re interrupted.

  “That’s the date!” He yells and you take try to take the paper from him. He holds onto it and keeps yelling.

  “That’s what it says! It says it! What the fuck?!” you finally yank the paper from him and throw it on the ground. You grab him by his wrists.

  “Am I missing? Am I gonna go missing?”

  “Richie, shut up!” you yell and everyone seems to be a little taken back. You tighten your grip on his wrists and try your best to steady your voice.

  “Look at me, Tozier. Look at me!” and he finally makes eye contact with you.

  “You are not missing. You’re right here. Okay? I’m looking at you.” He starts to calm down.

  “It is trying to mess with you. That’s all this is. But you’re not missing.” you continue. You don’t realize it but your hand has moved from his wrist to his hand.

  “Yeah, Richie. This isn’t real.” Bill says.

  “Hello?” you all hear a voice suddenly call out. Bill and Eddie start walking towards it and you look down. You realize you’re holding Richie’s hand. You pull your hand away and you and Richie start following Eddie and Bill.

  “Help me, please.” you hear as you approach the stairwell. You all start to walk up the stairs and you’re behind everyone. When you reach the top, you see what you’re pretty sure is Betty Ripson laying in the doorway to a room.

  “Betty?” Bill says.

  “Ripson?” Richie says.

  Then she is dragged away and you all flinch. You all start walking towards the doorway, and then you hear a voice.

  “Y/N.” it whispers. You know that you shouldn’t go towards it. In horror movies the idiots that go towards the creepy noise always die, but you can’t stop yourself. It feels like you’re drawn to it. It’s kinda like that feeling when your alarm goes off in the morning and you’re really tired and you can’t bring yourself to wake up. Right now you can’t bring yourself to turn away from the voice. It’s coming from a room. You walk in the room and once you’re in the room the door slams shut.

  “Oh, shit!” you scream. “Oh, god. Oh, fuck. No. No. No.” you say and try to open the door but it doesn’t budge. You can see, out of the corner of your eye, something green. You turn around. It’s the fucking snake-creature.

  Your heart is beating fast, you can barely breathe, your hand is shaking so bad, and you can feel tears forming in your eyes.

  “Remember what we talked about, Y/N.” The creature says and you gasp. You think back to a time before you had moved to Derry.

  It was about a year ago. After your school’s open house. Your mom was out of town for work and your dad had came to the open house with you. You had stormed in the house and slammed the door shut when you got back to your house. Your dad opened the door. You were walking towards the hallway and your dad called your name.

  “Y/N, listen to me!” he said. You were so mad. You had never been so mad in your life.

  “How could you do this to Mom and to me?” you yelled. Hot tears started streaming down your cheeks.

  “Listen, Y/N. I know what I did wasn’t right. I’m sorry I hurt and embarrassed you, but is there any reason for your mother to know about this?” he says in a calm voice.

  “What the fuck are you talking about? Yes, she needs to know about this! She should know that her husband is a lying, piece of shit!” you yell.

  “Language, Y/N!” he said.

  “Really? Really?! You’re going to comment on my language right now?!?” you could barely get the words out. You were sobbing at that point.

  “Your mom is a great woman and there is no reason to cause her unnecessary pain. This isn’t going to happen again, so there is no reason to tell her about it.” he says.

  “My friends saw it! It won’t take long for this to get around!” you yell back.

  “Tell them to keep it to themselves. Tell them it wasn’t what they thought it was. Make something up. Damn it. I don’t know, Y/N. Don’t let it spread around and let’s keep your mom away from this pain.” he says. You hated your dad for this but your mom also didn’t deserve to get hurt.

  “Fine. Only for her sake.” you say and then you go to your room and cry. When your mom came back she asked how the open house was. You couldn’t help yourself and said “I don’t know. How was it, Dad?” he responded with “Remember what we talked about, Y/n.” He told your mom he was talking about your “attitude problem” but that wasn’t what he meant.

  You come back to the present. The creature was standing before you. You look closely at it. When it said that it sounded exactly like your dad. You look at its face. You thought the face looked familiar and hearing it talk finally made you put it together. Its face was the face of your father. You back up until your back is against the door. This doesn’t feel real. It feels exactly how a nightmare would feel. It runs towards you and you squeeze you eyes shut and scream. You want to be out of here. You can’t breathe. You can barely stand. You can’t do this. Tears are running down your face now. You start to fall. The only thing keeping you steady is you latching onto the door. You’re sobbing.

  “Oh, god. Please. No. No.” you say in a barely audible voice. Then the door opens.

  You fall backwards and latch onto a shirt. Richie Tozier’s shirt.

  “Y/N? What happened?” Bill says. You turn towards the room. There is nothing there anymore.

  “I’m fine.” you say in a low, scratchy voice. You’re still holding onto Richie.

  “Where’s Eddie?” you ask, noticing that the tiny boy is missing.

  “It got him. C-C-Come on. We have to find him.” Bill responds. You let go of Richie and you all run towards the hall.

  You’re all running down the hall when you see a mattress. Eddie’s head pops out of it, but it isn’t really Eddie.

  “You wanna play loogie?” “Eddie” asks and then a black goo starts coming out of his mouth and out of the mattress. You all turn around and you’re faced with three doors. One says “NOT SCARY AT ALL” another says “SCARY” and the last one says “VERY SCARY”. Naturally, you all run towards the “NOT SCARY AT ALL” door. When you open it up you hear a soft voice say “Where’s my shoe?” Bill turns on the light and Betty Ripson is hanging there with half of her body missing. You all scream and Richie slams the door shut.

  “Where the fuck were her legs? What was that? What was that?!” Richie yells.

  “Th-This isn’t real. Remember the missing kid poster? That wasn’t real. So this isn’t real.” Bill says and turns back towards the door. Richie is holding onto Bill and you’re holding onto Richie.

  “Come on. Ready?” Bill says getting ready to open up the door.

  “No!” you and Richie scream at the same time. Bill opens up the door and behind it is a hallway.

  “Oh, thank fuck!” Richie says and you let go of him.

  “W-Where’s Eddie?” Bill says and then you all hear Eddie scream “Help!” and you guys take off down the hall.

  Bill opens up a door and you all run through it and you can’t quite comprehend what you’re seeing at first. The clown is hovering over Eddie.

  “Eddie!” you yell.

  “Eds!” Richie yells.

  The clown turns around and gives that same sinister smile you had seen in the woods.

  “This isn’t real enough for you, Billy? I’m not real enough for you?” The clown says. You take a step back.

  “Holy shit.” you hear Richie say in a shaky voice.

  “It was real enough for Georgie!” the clown says and then he starts laughing. It’s the worst laugh you had ever heard in your life. It causes chill bumps to rise on your arms again. It starts screaming and running towards you guys. You close your eyes tight and grab onto Richie’s arm. You keep your eyes shut and rest your head on Richie. You just wanted this to be over.  

  Then it stops screaming. You pull your head up. Beverly is standing there with a spear in the clown’s head. Everyone else runs in and blood from the clown starts floating up in the air.

  You, Richie, Bill and Beverly run towards Eddie. Bill and Richie kneel beside Eddie. You and Beverly stand to the left of Richie.

  “Oh, fuck! We gotta get out of here!” Richie screams. Then the clown turns around. You back against the wall.

  “Guys, watch out!” Mike screams. The clown starts walking towards you guys. Tears are running down your face. You start to sink to the ground but then Beverly is beside you and you’re holding onto her arm like you life depends on it. And it kinda does. The clown jumps towards you guys and you squeeze your eyes shut again and start to fall lower to the ground. Your eyes are still shut when you hear everyone yelling “Ben!”

  You look up and you see that Ben has fallen backwards onto Mike and blood is seeping through his shirt. The clown is leaving the room. Bill jumps up and yells “Don’t let him get away!” You want to scream at him to stop but you can’t get any words out. You move from beside Beverly to beside Richie and in front of Eddie and Beverly moves to the other side of Eddie. You see that Eddie’s arm is broken.

  “Bill!” Eddie yells and Bill comes running back into the room.

  “Alright, I’m gonna snap your arm back in place.” Richie says.

  “Do not fucking touch me!” Eddie yells back. Before Eddie can get another word in, Richie takes his arm and snaps it back into place and Eddie screams in pain.

  You all run out of Neibolt. Stan runs out screaming “shit”. He grabs his bike and takes off first. Mike, Bill,  Ben, and Richie put Eddie in the basket of Mike’s bike so they can bring him home. You’re standing to the side, catching your breath. Beverly glances at you and gives you a concerned look. You wait for the boys to get Eddie in the basket and Mike to get on the bike, and then you grab your bike and take off. You can hear Richie yelling “Holy shit! Holy fuck!” as you ride away. You had never pedaled so fast in your life. You knew this wasn’t going to end well. You knew it.

Taglist: @there-has-to-be-seven @longlivethetampon @wyattgoleft @derrysdenbrough @veryweirdintrovert @meliketozier @stan-the-losers-club-man @only-if-it-matters @marbrunette @breederofguilt @lovely-richie @finwolfardtrash @finnydraws @gay-ships-and-tea-sips @it-reader @mikoalabearwrites @okaylosvers @babylovereddie