#i have difficulties trying to articulate my feelings about them

[franeridan]

in the middle of the frobin arc thinking about frobin

[esoteric-crow]

hey actually isn’t there something kind of really sad about the fact that the hardest difficulty (that isn’t just like. hell or hell. which is just ‘haha hehe Blow up.’) is called Dante Must Die. i think about it a lot. i can’t quite put my finger on why it makes me miserable but maybe someone else can.

but you know what i CAN talk about and i DO have actual fully formed thoughts about?

regenerating like crazy is great. but isn’t there something kind of inherently fucked up about the fact that, because of the regeneration dante and vergil have, neither of them will ever have tangible evidence to themselves or others of their suffering? asking themselves, was it really that bad? did it even happen at all? no matter how much you put vergil through hell and how afraid he is inside, there will never be a mark on his skin that says “i have suffered”. the world leaves no proof, nothing to take home from this experience aside from a more broken mind. vergil doesn’t say his feelings, or even allow them to surface properly, because that’s a kind of vulnerability he cannot handle. the only way he could perhaps earn someone’s sympathetic care is by expressing what he has suffered through, but he cannot verbalize that. and he looks perfect. unmarked by time or trauma. there isn’t a single part of his body that could scream out for him that something horrible has happened that he cannot figure out how to deal with alone.

and dante is just as poor off. and he’s very difficult to figure out emotionally to a passerby. dante purposefully puts on a happy face every day, and to the majority of the world, it’s convincing. there’s certainly no evidence to themselves contrary. not a scratch on him. but he is like kind of constantly getting the ever loving fuck beat out of him. stabbed and jabbed. when you look at him, you see happy, sweet, goofy dante. for all the years of pain he’s gone through, there isn’t a single marred inch of his skin that could tell you even a day of the agony unless he told you. and why would dante do that when he can pretend it simply isn’t happening until he’s alone and can sit with the terror that’s constantly in him and the loss he’s been living with, over and over losing people and being surrounded by the ghosts of their presence. whether the ghost is a wayward descendent, a gun, or just a lingering smell of ash in his childhood home. but that will only be private. he can be the walking dead, he can treat himself like shit, but his body refuses to show anything for it. and he’s certainly not going to die.

obviously, the same thing can be said for the opposite side of the spectrum: scars can be a constant reminder in the mirror of what happened that you cannot erase, always to some degree a part of you. among other stuff. so both sides of the coin are full of The Pains and The Anguishes.

on a side note, i really like when people give them like, one scar. i don’t really have a favorite one that people give vergil but i really like dante with just the one bigass gnarly one in the middle of his abdomen from the rebellion gettin jammed in there. his One scar. a treate. like it defies his regeneration somehow.

i love making a scarred up guy. i have plenty of scars n marks myself, and i feel like they should definitely be more normalized, so like, no this post isn’t anti scars or something. they’re normal and not ugly or whatever the hell people try to say. this side note is probably entirely unnecessary, but i’m tired and i’m worried about someone misunderstanding me i think. anyway i’m trying to say ooh scar angst yeah but sometimes No scars is also fucked up too. that’s the point here.

to sum up: i believe there can be something Fucked Up and angsty to be said about the fact that the sparda boys heal perfectly fine, but only externally. it is 3am. this is not articulated as well as it could be i don’t think. aaaand post.

[miss-hyoko]

Um, can i have a gado-gado of Malleus, Vil, and Floyd with an S/O who is suffering from Alexithymia?

I would love to see these three's ways of handling this S/O! GN reader please!

"My sincerest apologies for the delay, valued customer. Here is your much-awaited order—a delightful serving of [Embracing Emotions] gado-gado. We hope its flavors tantalize your taste buds and bring you utmost satisfaction. Bon appétit!"

Embracing Emotions

Character(s): Floyd, Vil, and Malleus

Summary: His S/O had Alexithymia

Tag(s) and warning(s): GN!Reader, fluff, romantic, established relationship, doting boyfriend

Note: This request took quite a while to finish because I need to do some research about Alexithymia first. Hopefully, I did them justice in this. If there's anything wrong, please feel free to point them out 🙌

1. Floyd Leech

Floyd's interest in you started in a rather peculiar way. It was one of those days when he was feeling particularly grumpy, and in his foul mood, you accidentally bumped into him. Irritated, Floyd decided to give you a little scare by squeezing you. To his surprise, instead of screaming in fear or struggling to free yourself, you simply stared at him, dumbfounded and unsure of what to do. Your unexpected response intrigued Floyd, so he started relentlessly pestering you. Looking back now, maybe it was 'Love at First Squeeze'.

As Floyd's relationship with you progressed further, he started noticing something in your way of communication that he hadn't paid much attention to before. Whenever someone asked for your opinion, you seemed to falter, struggling to find the right words to express yourself. Even when you did respond, your responses often came across as general or vague, leaving Floyd with a sense that you had difficulty expressing your feelings.

True to his straightforward nature, Floyd wasted no time addressing the communication struggles he observed in your relationship. When he learned about your Alexithymia, everything finally clicked into place. While it did initially surprise him, Floyd wasn't bothered by your condition in the slightest since he can understand you quite well. However, if you wish to improve your condition, perhaps you can consider seeking Azul's help? ... Just kidding! Floyd wouldn't mind wracking his brain to figure out a way for you.

When Floyd's with you, he becomes more talkative and loves asking about your feelings whenever you're doing something together. In case you're uncertain about how to respond, Floyd will give you a variety of word options to help you describe how you feel, helping you navigate the complexities of expressing your feelings.

Floyd: *squeezing you* "Guppy~ What do you feel when I do this to you?"

His S/O: "I... I don't know."

Floyd: "Wrongg~ Try again, Guppy. What do you feel if I'm squeezing you like this?" *squeezing you tighter* "Do you feel unhappy, scared, surprised, or maybe happy?"

His S/O: "I..."

Whenever you expressed a specific feeling, he would eagerly ask you to recall and describe the physical and mental sensations associated with it. Floyd thinks that by remembering and articulating the feelings you experienced, it can be used as references to help you better identify and communicate your emotions in the future.

2. Vil Schoenheit

Vil was initially drawn to you because you had this kind of aloof aura surrounding you, creating an air of mystery and making you seem unapproachable. But, as he got to know you better, Vil realized that your aloofness wasn't intentional but rather a result of your struggle to express your emotions verbally. This led Vil to speculate that you might have Alexithymia.

At the beginning, Vil found your emotional detachment and difficulty in expressing emotions frustrating. He struggled to comprehend why you couldn't verbalize your feelings like others could. However, upon entering a relationship with you, Vil realized the need to shift his perspective. He took the initiative to research and learn more about Alexithymia by seeking articles, books, and personal accounts to deepen his understanding of your condition. Through this newfound knowledge, Vil gradually adapted his mindset and approach, becoming more patient, empathetic, and supportive

Known for his sharp tongue and sarcastic remark, Vil's way of speaking leaves an impression on those who encounter him. Yet, when he engages in conversation with you, Vil speaks with unparalleled patience that surprises those who witness it. It's as if he channels all of his patience and understanding exclusively for you. Vil understands the importance of clear and honest communication between the two of you, so he chooses to speak bluntly and directly, without any codes or sarcasm that could potentially misinterpret the meaning of his words.

Vil consistently encourages you to work on enhancing your ability to identify and express your emotions. When he's not busy, he'll invite you to watch movies together to aid your emotional understanding. During these movie sessions, Vil attentively guides you through the film by highlighting every emotion portrayed by the actors. He will tell you the emotion's name, the reasons behind its occurrence, how it is expressed, the accompanying experiences, and much more.

Vil: "The girl is disappointed because she got a poor grade on the test and has to take extra classes during the vacation."

His S/O: "Disappointed?"

Vil: "That's right, potato. Disappointed. It's the feeling you experience when something doesn't go according to what you wanted. You know, like when you had plans to go out but suddenly there's a storm. You would feel lost, wouldn't you? That's called disappointment."

When it comes to grappling with your emotions, Vil is a reliable source of guidance since he's an experienced actor well-versed in a wide array of emotions. He can suggest you various strategies you can try to help you navigate through your feelings, such as engaging in open discussions with trusted individuals, writing down what you feel on paper, or perhaps immersing yourself in music that resonates with your emotions.

3. Malleus Draconia

From the very beginning, Malleus already sensed that there was something unusual about you. Your seemingly apathetic demeanor and rare displays of emotions piqued his curiosity. Malleus assumed you were simply incredibly calm and collected, so he kept his observations to himself, choosing not to prod further. It wasn't until you both became a couple that you opened up to Malleus about your Alexithymia, leading him to finally understand the reasons behind your actions all this time.

Understanding the impact that Alexithymia can have on your interactions and personal life, Malleus becomes deeply concerned about how society might treat you for being different. With firsthand knowledge of the pain of being treated differently, he empathizes with your potential struggles and is determined to shield you from similar treatment. To ensure your well-being and happiness, Malleus spares no effort to help you understand your emotions, going as far as seeking guidance from Lilia.

Malleus is an incredibly supportive boyfriend. He actively encourages you to share as much as you can about your Alexithymia, attentively listening to every detail so he can help you cope with your condition. If you ever expressed a desire to explore methods that could improve your communication skill or expand your emotional range, Malleus would be more than willing to assist you in exploring the complexities of emotions. However, he also respects your boundaries and never pushes you beyond what you're comfortable with, allowing you to progress at your own pace.

Following Lilia's advice, Malleus begins closely observing your facial expressions and body language to determine the emotions you might be feeling. If you find yourself overwhelmed by intense emotions that you struggle to comprehend, he won't immediately validate your feelings. Instead, he gently shares his perception of the emotion he believes you might be experiencing to help you clarify your emotions and work through them.

Malleus: "The final exams are just a week away. Have you prepared yourself well, beloved?"

His S/O: "In the past few days, I've been preparing by reviewing the previous lessons."

Malleus: "That is good. But why do you still look anxious?"

His S/O: "No, I don't feel anxious. That word is a bit too much for..." *pauses to think for a moment* "Rather than anxious, I think I'm just nervous..."

Malleus: *smiling softly* "Is that so?"

This fae prince CAN and WON'T hesitate to go the extra mile to create a special notebook specifically for you. Inside this personalized notebook, he compiles an extensive list of various emotions, complete with the characteristics people feel when experiencing them and numerous example situations that might evoke these emotions. Additionally, Malleus even goes as far as filling the notebook with simple illustrations that he drew himself just to make sure the process of identifying emotions is easier for you.

[trapastrology]

Songs that explain 12H synastry (house pov)

This song explains 12H synastry to a T from the perspective of the house person. Now, there are many different feelings & thoughts that the house person can have. This pov is when the house person is still toxic & scared of surrendering to real love. They tend to self sabotage heavily as well.

Die 4 U- The weeknd

"I'm findin' ways to articulate the feeling I'm goin' through I just can't say I don't love you 'Cause I love you, yeah It's hard for me to communicate the thoughts that I hold But tonight I'm gon' let you know Let me tell the truth"

~The represents the confusion the house person goes thru. They are usually so used to being so closed off to the point where they find it jarring when they start to find themselves feeling these deep & true feelings for the planet person. They also find it hard to express these feelings to the planet person. They are terrified of rejection & getting taken advantage of so even when they feel these feelings & have found a way to articulate them, they'd rather keep it to themselves (which is detrimental to the relationship). This song shows the pov of the house person realizing what they've been doing to sabotage this perfect relationship with the planet person & finally wanting to put all their feelings on display before it's too late & they lose them for good.

"I'm scared that I'll miss you, happens every time I don't want this feelin', I can't afford love I try to find a reason to pull us apart It ain't workin' 'cause you're perfect And I know that you're worth it I can't walk away, oh!"

~This shows how the house person fears vulnerability to the point where they are scared of of even missig the planet person. They are the same ppl who only want true love but at the same time due to what they've been thru they are completely terrified of it. They try to test the planets persons love with ridiculous tests which only tiers the planet. House may try to always look for holes & doubts in the relationship, but they are the ones creating these holes. House starts looking for red flags that aren't even there. & in the end the house person tries to do everything they can to fix the parts of the relationship they can before it's too late

"Even though we're going through it And it makes you feel alone Just know that I would die for you Baby, I would die for you, yeah The distance and the time between us It'll never change my mind, 'cause baby I would die for you"

~When they are having difficulties in the relationship caused by the house person the planet person can indeed feel alone but chooses not to speak about it. Either way it goes, houses feelings are so strong & so pure for the planet that they would kill, steal & lie for them with no hesitation. Most times, they wont even disclose those feelings with the planet person. One day if the time comes the planet sees thru actions how much house truly cares & feels. No matter the circumstances good or bad, the houses feelings rarely change.

"'Cause I can't take this pain forever And you won't find no one that's better 'Cause I'm right for you, babe"

~At the end of the day, the house person thinks (& is most times correct) that no one will love the planet person the way that they do & no one is a better match for them. Most times they just have a bad way of showing it or they choose not to show it at all. They just have to remember that not everyone is their enemy.

~Stay tuned for more stuff like this in my upcoming ebook about the complete ins & outs of synastry! There will be an entire chapter dedicated to dissecting songs from different perspectives of this synastry. Love yall!!!!!!!!

[gaybd1]

tell me about autistic Zuko (modern au or canon. Like how he grew up, why it’s justified in canon, how people around him react to it/are they assholes or not) bc I’ve been thinking about him but I can’t seem to articulate all my feelings into words and you’re good at that <3

hahahaha gladly here is a smattering of Facts and Evidence, in no particular order

Fact #1: His special interest is the Avatar. That boy’s done so much research!! (I’m joking with this one and yet… 👀)

Evidence #1: His father was embarrassed of him when he was a kid. This could have been for a variety of reasons including that he’s gay but also if you are trying to raise an heir of a powerful nation, you would see a lot of autism symptoms as a weakness, especially things like awkwardness, difficulty making eye contact, etc

Evidence #2: He doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends growing up which can also be explained in different ways but a kid just following around his sister and her friends all day? sus

Evidence #3: The way he rehearses what he’s going to say to Aang at the Western Air Temple… and the awkwardness of it makes it So Much More… it’s the most really, THE autistic of scenarios. We GOTTA practice big conversations like that before they happen, we just do…

Evidence #4: He borrows from other scripts for social interaction. You know when he’s trying fo get along with everyone at the air temple and he makes tea for them and try to tell a joke? Why does he do that? Because he’s mimicking Iroh, who is probably the most outgoing person in his life, and following exactly what Iroh does to be friendly and ingratiate himself with others…

Evidence #5: Missing social cues. I can’t think of any examples off the top of my head but I think we’ve all seen it. Also “That’s rough, buddy” is something he TOTALLY stole from someone else because he had no idea what he actually was supposed to say in that situation

Fact #2: now HERE’s a guy who feels deeply but is SO bad at expressing or controlling his feelings. Remember when he was worried about the comet and instead of talking about it just ATTACKED HIS FRIENDS?? oof yeah

Important Headcanon #1: Zuko is really sensitive to texture and has ARFID, which does have a high overlap with autistic folks. This “pickiness” causes real problems for him, especially when he’s v busy being the Fire Lord…. He tends to eat the same foods a lot to sustain himself (fire flakes) and makes the same exact tea for himself every single day. He DOES like to bake and cook though, and is quite good at it, even if he won’t eat it all

Headcanon #2: Our boy’s special interests are history, dao swords, and baking

Headcanon #3: Not a fan of eye contact

Theory #1: Our boy Sokka def has that ADHD and I just don’t think it’s that common or easy for ND folks to be in a relationship with NT folks (I have no proof of this but just think about it for a sec) so therefore Zuko must be neurodivergent

This is a big ol’ mess but for a MUCH more comprehensive and comprehensible Auristic Zuko explanation, please refer to this masterpiece of a post which I just found after spending a bunch of time answering this ask lolol

[kafus]

SO... do you headcannon anyone in horizons as autistic?

OH BOY DO I

so dot is the most obvious choice. there is no universe in which she is not autistic to me. this is one of my strongest dot headcanons actually and one of the main reasons i enjoy her as a character. there are so many reasons for this i could go on endlessly but i'll just list a few big ones here

her extreme passion for her interests at a disregard for almost everything else & her ability to self teach those topics (not to mention her interests have to do with computing)

her difficulties with food overlap a lot with food sensitivities autistic people often have, also her latching onto donuts as a sort of samefood after finally trying them once

the tendency to wear loose, comfortable clothes and more recently she has complained while wearing tighter clothes (the orange academy school uniform) so it's not just that she prefers loose fabric, she also is put off by the alternative. girl your sensory problems

irritable outbursts when struggling to articulate herself/make herself understood

her connection with kanuchan (tinkatink) felt really neurodivergent to me. she wasn't offput by her behavior, even after stealing her prop mic, and was immediately able to understand her when no one else could or was willing to. not sure how to articulate this one right now but i hope you see what i mean

her tendency to sit cross legged and lean over herself reminds me a lot of my personal autistic tendency to need a pressure/weighted feeling while i sit or have body parts touching

social exhaustion, the need to be alone sometimes even when she cares

the list genuinely goes on i have to stop myself LOL

as for other characters,

so for liko i'm more loose about the headcanon, it's definitely more of me projecting than her being overtly autistic in canon but i still think it lines up if u wanna view her that way. i'm autistic and i personally relate to liko a lot becauseee

she is giving hyperempathy autism to me. the way she is overly empathetic and compassionate to her own detriment and yet still has to have her hand held through articulating & dealing with that or putting the logical parts of empathy together

the way she absolutely fucking Explodes with excitement sometimes

the way in which she relates to cats, and her whole thing about having a hard time getting other people to understand her. these two things go hand in hand

there's something neurodivergent about her trying to connect with sprigatito by studying her and writing notes about her behavior lol

while this is kind of just on the account of her being an anime character and a protagonist at that, liko's facial expressions and body language can be pretty exaggerated sometimes which reminds me of my own body language, i'm cartoonishly animated in real life often LOL

so like basically dot is so obviously autistic to me it's like breathing but for liko it's kind of a hc i apply to her for projection purposes & fun but i think it's reasonable

and lastly so i'm not just talking about solely liko and dot for the millionth time,

ORIO!! honestly we don't even know that much about orio but the one episode where she was helping pokeball lady i forget the name of fix her machine. the really narrow attention to detail/seeing the smaller parts instead of the bigger picture. also her expertise in engineering contrasted with her struggling with tasks outside of that (like when she was trying to sew holes in the brave asagi and for the life of her could not do it so she called murdock for help lol)

and actually one more - while i don't necessarily headcanon amethio as autistic, i think it's a fun headcanon/au idea to not only give him a redemption arc but an autism unmasking arc at the same time. representation for all my repressed autistics out there. in my mind

thanks for asking i'm so autistic about horizons so of course i headcanon them with autism too JOISJOIFD

[celestialrealms]

Sorry could you explain your Barbatos post a bit better? It's confusing but i really like your takes so id like to understand it

I wasn't sure how to answer this, but I can see I've been misunderstood a bit multiple times, and I think it's because I was trying to say a few things at once (especially if we factor in my tags) and didn't articulate it well enough using the meme. (post in question)

Sorry in advance for kind of using this as an excuse to complain even more anon 😭

What I meant when I said this:

...Was that this is how Barbatos has treated MC for years in cards, events, etc. And IMO, it's not really headcanon or anything. This is more or less just me paraphrasing the basic through line of his relationship with MC and enough actual quotes that I am much too lazy to go chase screen caps of them.

So basically I was complaining about the parts of the fandom that's understanding of how Barbatos sees MC is still limited to the minuscule amount of content he receives in the main story, in which he "turns MC down" and how they take it at face value and sometimes even imply he doesn't have romantic feelings for MC/doesn't even like them period.

....when that is obviously untrue considering a major part of his character is that he hides his feelings and has difficulty letting people in, and that everywhere besides the main story he's just as romantically interested in MC as everyone else. 🤷‍♂️

And what might have confused it more is that I was also complaining in the tags that his supposed "slow burn" is still going after over four seasons of him being dateable because the devs just do not want to give him storylines or screen time to develop it.

So we just have a situation where he and MC have been acting like a married couple in cards (that we have to gamble/pay for in the gacha ofc) for literally years and years but in the games' actual storyline, their relationship is just taking a comically ridiculous amount of time to develop because Barbatos is only allowed a tiny handful of interactions with MC every season. 💀

[ephemeral-builds]

I was absolutely hooked the very first time I saw this version of the FA-78 Full Armor Gundam from Mobile Suit Gundam Thunderbolt. It's so ridiculously over-the-top.

Thankfully, both the manga and the ONA are pretty good. It'd be a shame for something this amazing to be stuck in a terrible story.

I'm just building the high grade kit this week.

I don't have a lot of master grade kits under my belt yet and the FA-78 Ver.Ka looks intimidating as all hell. Maybe that's something to work up to one day...

Even though it's just a high grade - there's a lot of plastic in this box. 9 normal runners plus a bunch of polycaps and a couple beam-saber blades. And, oddly enough, no multicolor runner. Each runner is just a single color.

There's a bunch of color-correcting foil stickers, as well as some sticker-style decals.

I decided to use the foil stickers because I didn't want to try to paint all these tiny little details... But I'm not convinced they're actually adding much to the kit. I mean - those big thrusters on the front of the knee obviously look better in color. But the little tiny things on the side? I think those looked just fine without the stickers.

The artwork for the FA-78 shows its joints covered in some kind of protective shroud to keep dust and debris out. The HG kit replicates this with weird, wrinkly-looking molded plastic bits. They look OK, but it's a real pain to panel-line them. I gave up on actually trying to hit the lines and just kind of slopped panel-liner all over the parts and then cleaned it up.

The build is about what I'd expect from an older HG kit. There's lots of polycaps and the armor sections are basically hollow. And it's just purely the "full armor" version of the FA-78. There aren't really any bits you can remove to make it look like a standard/basic RX-78.

Of course it wouldn't be Thunderbolt without a ridiculously-huge backpack and entirely too many shields.

Clearly, there's a lot to this kit. I think about half the build was spent on the accessories.

This kit just looks good. Even without all the accessories. It's a very solid build. Everything feels very tight and stable. I had absolutely no trouble posing it at all.

This kit comes with a weird little stand... And while that's not strictly necessary (the kit can stand up without it, even with the backpack), I can't really see posing this kit without a stand. It's meant to be zooming around in space - not stuck on the ground.

I wish those little sub-arms on the backpack were actually articulated. I had some difficulty getting it posed with the two shields. But I guess that's what you get when trying to cram all of this into an HG kit.

So, clearly, I'm going to have to build the Ver.Ka.

This is such an amazing design... And this little kit is absolutely fantastic, even without the sticker-style decals... I just have to see what the Ver.Ka is like.

[orthodoxadventure]

do you know of prayers to decrease suicide ideation? And can you please pray my stomach churns i am in so much distress. (I love your blog, god bless you) <33333

May God bless you and comfort you, and thank you for the kind words! I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

One thing I would recommend is reading the Psalms, and finding one that really resonates with you and including that into your prayer routine. Or if you don't have a prayer routine already, then praying this Psalm morning and night (and whenever else you need it through the day). It doesn't explicitly have to be about depression, a lot of the Psalms talk about placing their hope in the Lord even through the distress and suffering they're experiencing - and something like this might really resonate with you and comfort you.

You can find a collection of four prayers that are related to depression, anxiety, and suffering here, which should be of some help to you: https://www.sthermansoca.org/resources/prayers-against-fear/

Then there is also:

Prayer against Depression: Prayer to the Mother of God

Prayer to the Theotokos for Healing

Prayer to the Mother of God in a Time of Distress

Akathist to St. Xenia of St. Petersburg

Prayer of Someone in Trouble

Prayer of Saint John Chrysostom

Prayer to St. John of Shanghai and San Francisco

Healing Prayer of Saint Ambrose of Milan

Guardian Angel Prayers for Protection

Prayer of St. Dimitri of Rostov

Prayer for the Self

Prayers don't have to explicitly be about depression or liberation from despair in order to be helpful. Find prayers that really resonate with you, and ones that you are willing and able to pray. Try to read even one Psalm a day as well as a prayer that you find helpful.

Speak often to God about your difficulties and struggles also. Sometimes the best prayers are the ones that we come up with, because they most accurately reflect our situation, our wants, our needs, and so on. We don't need to know the perfect things to say. But the act of praying about our issues, of articulating them and putting them into words and placing them before God can be of immense help and comfort to us. And the act of articulating problems out loud can go a long way to untangling them in our head which can help us feel even a little less overwhelmed.

God bless you!

[lynpheas]

please tell me about the winx and specialists dynamics 🙏 (also do you have any thoughts on the platonic pairings like bloom/timmy or tecna/riven!!)

AAAA ty for letting me ramble omg. this isn't meta so i'm not sure if there is much of a basis for these in canon (i'm planning on doing a big winx rewatch + comics reading um. sometime when i have the time lol) so this is more abt how i characterize them in fic in a way that is hopefully both true(ish) to canon while also expanding on those traits. (and ignoring the canon characterizations i don't like, like too much emphasis on jealousy bc that's bo-ring 😊)

i'm going to put this all under the cut because i started rambling a Lot, just a fair warning LOL

also. YES i do have MANY thoughts about other winx/specialist dynamics because i am a slut for platonic relationships but i CANNOT make this post any longer than it already is. so. if you're still interested just send me an ask or something afadlsfj;kasf

okay, buckle up. starting with the canon couples:

musa/riven:

okay so they have one of my fave dynamics just because i think the back and forth + all the tension is so interesting dsfjakl.

i think that a lot of the initial conflict in their relationship starts from musa not really knowing exactly what she wants and only really knowing how to react to something that, like, rubs her the wrong way? and it's harder for her to express affirmation/affection when she's happy with something riven's done bc her instinct would be to act sort of cool about it.

on riven's part, i like to think that initially he isn't super emotionally available for whatever reason -- ig in canonverse it'd be him coming down from dating darcy & her manipulating him -- but musa (in her giggly crush phase) piques his interest anyway and they tentatively get together.

i figure at some point in their relationship, riven realizes oh, i'm actually really into this girl she has a lot of qualities i respect and admire and he consequently gets a lot more open and sincere, although still awkward about his affection. like, he just tries harder. musa gets flustered by this kind of attention but she'll kind of play it off.

still, riven will sometimes make thoughtless mistakes/fuck-ups that really piss musa off and she has, like, zero idea how to communicate the what and the why. like she just knows she's upset and she will make sure riven knows she's upset, but she has difficulty explaining herself. & with riven's quick temper, he lashes out when he doesn't understand why musa's acting a certain way toward him / the act of having to communicate makes his hackles rise automatically.

i think most of musa's difficulty communicating and playing at coolness comes from her not really knowing how to act within a romantic relationship and like. not knowing what level of sharing burdens and insecurities is appropriate.

i view riven as more action-oriented when it comes to showing how he feels & musa more easily expresses herself through music and isn't as good as being outward with her affection. so when they're trying to figure out how to articulate how they feel + how they feel toward each other, there's a lot of bumps in the road. but they get there!

they both have moments where they unintentionally close themselves off from each other bc they're not super used to being vulnerable/intimate with another person & in the early stages, a lot of their communication is kinda just. frustratingly beating around the bush and getting increasingly upset that they keep misunderstanding each other. i think this is the stage of their relationship where they experience the most jealousy/insecurity.

once they're in the mature/stable part of their relationship though, i feel like they'll have learned how to be direct. & they're both more blunt people who are used to having to soften themselves in their other relationships/friendships, but they realize that they can be super straightforward w/ each other about how they feel and sidestep the social niceties.

and i think the majority of their relationship would be characterized by snarky banter that's a little mean, but eventually they learn how not to cross any lines & sprinkle in some more sincerity amongst the quips.

stella/brandon

i feel like stella and brandon perfectly complement each other in that they have a lot of traits in common to truly understand each other with enough differences to balance each other out.

they're both flirty, cheerful, loyal (to each other and to their friends), and enthusiastically supportive. stella's more prone to foot-in-her-mouth syndrome though while brandon is more.. reserved? in a way? they're equally extroverted and friendly, but stella's more in-your-face about it almost to the point of crossing boundaries (depending on the person, like when she first meets helia) while brandon kinda gauges where people are at and acts as friendly as he figures they'll be comfortable with.

i think the majority of their dynamic is characterized by stella's outgoing and dramatic personality versus brandon's more laidback and observant demeanor. like stella is quick to jump to conclusions and dramatically overthink & brandon will validate her emotions but also keep her grounded.

affection comes suuuper easy to them in like the "you're my pookie wookie boo bear" kind of way like stella would definitely ask brandon if he would still love her if she was a worm. and brandon would be like "not only would i still love you if you were a worm, i'd start a garden for you to give you a happy home" and stella would be like "AWWWW SCHNOOKUMS. u suck at keeping plants alive."

brandon would take initiative to surprise stella with sweeping romantic gestures that stella goes gaga over. stella almost never stops singing brandon's praises (like over his looks and his abilities) and tries to spoil/provide for him (bc she's a princess and has the money for it and brandon's a squire. lol)

when they have conflict & stella's more mad abt it, brandon will kind of defer to her and try to act how he thinks she would want him to act (giving her space, but still trying to explain himself and apologize when he feels he has an opening). this rarely happens, but if brandon is angry with stella, the dynamic is usually something like. stella is beating herself up and trying really really hard to explain herself, but brandon kinda needs a minute to sit on it so he'll take some space. which makes stella fairly anxious. but he'll always come back to her as soon as he's ready to hear her out & take things in when he has more patience and has more clarity.

i think some initial problems they would have are like. brandon can internalize his feelings and not be as forthcoming about how he feels (and also just outright lie like with the sky/brandon switch but let's just ignore that lol). and stella might initially get anxious and worry if he likes her as much as she likes him. but stella helps him be more easily affectionate and honest (not just toward her but toward everyone) and brandon soothes her insecurities/anxieties & lets her bejeweled encourages her to be her best self.

overall brandon's just happy to be a little planet orbiting stella's shining sun, but she'll never let him forget how important he is for the galaxy/ecosystem lol.

flora/helia

okay so for my fave couples (florelia & aibu) i'm like weirdly intimidated to come up with definitive characterization for them bc i guess i'm afraid of being wrong??? so just a disclaimer LMAO

on the whole, i view flora as someone who is fairly extroverted, socially confident, and friendly -- but she's absolutely overwhelmed by any kind of romantic interaction. like she's only ever able to pine from a distance because actually being in the thick of it is just. So Much. & contrastingly, i see helia as someone who is perfectly capable of polite/friendly interactions with strangers, but he simply does not gaf and will only pour his energy into interactions with people he really cares about/respects. so basically, romance never really interested him Until It Did and suddenly the love poems -- that he would usually skip over in favor of like. poetry about nature and the human (alien?) condition -- have become super pertinent to him and his life.

just like in canon, i think their dynamic necessitates a big dramatic love confession <3 intense pining that builds and builds and builds until it has to spill over and be made known to the world.

i think for like initial issues in their relationship, flora is just so flustered by the prospect of Romance Happening To Her that she kind of acts like. not super present? because it doesn't feel real? so she still daydreams and acts as if he's out of reach and helia's kinda takes that as her being distant? like losing interest after the relationship happens. which is obviously the exact opposite of the case. so flora eventually learns how to be comfortable in a relationship and comfortable expressing all the mushy-gushy thoughts in her brain to her partner.

i don't view helia as much of an initiator tbh. i think he's fairly passive but not out of anxiety or anything. it's the idgaf quality in him, like if you don't give him a reason to care then he's not going to. and bc of that attitude that he applies generally in life, he's kind of made a habit of waiting for an inciting incident to push him into being more active. now flora is the exact opposite. she's an active friend who will meddle because she cares, and she cares a lot about a wide breadth of things. so i think that while helia is the expert at florid poetry and love letters and paintings and conventionally romantic gestures, flora's the one who sets the stage for open lines of communication and honesty. & she's the one who will ask for things that she wants out of helia/their relationship and is always checking in on him to make sure his emotional needs are being met

i feel like flora inspires helia to GAF care more/open his heart more. and helia is kind of flora's stability and shoulder to lean on to remind her that she doesn't need to stretch herself so thin when it comes to the effort she puts into caring for others. that said, helia's vastly more impulsive in high-stress situations than flora is, so flora's the one who goes. let's stop, think, and strategize. and helia will agree for two minutes before he gets impatient and starts acting on impulse. flora's like "well. i anticipated this" & takes off after him.

in terms of communication, i feel like they're both pretty high in emotional intelligence so they're fairly easily able to pinpoint why/how they're feeling certain ways and are really good at articulating those emotions to one another.

bc i love interesting tensions: i headcanon flora as more flexible in her understandings of good-vs-evil while helia is more rigid and has more black and white thinking. so i think they don't normally argue because miscommunications are minimal, BUT if they do argue it's because of clashing values. i think that flora eventually gets helia to be more openminded on this specific issue but it takes some time & wading thru conflicts. their argument style is just like -- full of passion, but not in a yelling kind of way. more like, frustrated silences and crying and silent treatment (while still maintaining physical closeness). helia shuts down in arguments while flora tries to talk through it until she's in tears.

ermm basically they're just obsessed with each other and will write icky gushy poetry about how beautiful the other person is both inside and out. they'll use a lot of dramatic metaphors that give off the energy of "i don't know how i'd live without you" and yadda yadda. i think helia is also prone to getting teased by flora bc he tends more toward seriousness and flora's more playful and it makes helia all flustered

aisha/nabu

okay tbh i don't have a very strong nabu characterization just yet so this is in development...

aisha is just a very independent person, always trying to prove herself and show that she can stand on her own two feet. she's a princess but she's sole heir and crown princess to andros and until she went to alfea, she essentially grew up in isolation in a highly politicized environment. she's simultaneously used to having a lot of pressure/responsibility on her shoulders as a leader and also having things be decided for her because of tradition, decorum, etc. she's slow to warm, but once she's in she's all in.

nabu is just. offbeat and quirky honestly. he does things that you don't necessarily expect or view as obvious solutions. he's very patient and good-humored, almost to a fault, because he sometimes really just doesn't know or understand why people might react so strongly/negatively to things he takes in stride. he's also a very independent person, does things to the beat of his own drum, but he's very very open and doesn't hold reservations about things or people for very long. (this is the characterization i'm using for justification as to why he thought a good response to getting put into an arranged marriage with a stranger is to. suspiciously follow around his fiancé with the intention of getting to know her/help her and without realizing how he's being lowkey creepy.)

anyways i think that being in a relationship with nabu gives aisha the space to just. relax. she tries so hard to be strong (and she is!) but she's also constantly trying to position herself as reliable and independent. the friend you can always go to for help but who doesn't ever need yours because she just has it all together. (obviously her friends know better but this is the image she tries to project) and nabu is just a safe person for her. so she allows herself to be more vulnerable around him, more reliant on him, just sillier and sweeter than she normally allows herself to be. she shows her weaknesses more readily and admits to when she doesn't know what to do or how to do something -- because nabu is always very nonjudgmental and kind.

i think that initial conflicts they have is that aisha feels like nabu's sweetness just. comes with strings attached? i hc that andros is one of the few patriarchal realms in the magic dimension so aisha just doesn't super trust men, or at the very least she hates how men on andros have often undermined her and questioned her authority. and for a while it takes nabu a hot minute to understand. why. aisha would think that he has ulterior motives. because having an ulterior motive, or at least a malicious one, isn't something that ever crosses his mind. (tangent but -- he's a little naive in that he generally assumes everyone he meets has the best intentions until they prove to him otherwise, in which case it's hard to win back his trust.) so even after their feelings for each other are known, aisha kinda closes herself off to him/subconsciously rejects him until she realizes how genuine he is, after which she just fully trusts him and feels safe neough to rely on him.

arguments are far and few between after the initial roughness of their relationship and i feel like if they do have some kind of conflict, it's either petty and negligible or it's a short and sweet conversation and then they move on. they're really good at direct communication because it's just an extension of the way they already express affection toward one another.

the way they express affection isn't as cheesy as like brella or florelia, they're just very candid with each other all the time about how much they love another and how much they mean to each other.

i think nabu learns from aisha about more realities of the world because i do assume he's fairly privileged/spoiled with his position on andros (like... a nobleman or something) so he becomes a better judge of character after her & has more sympathy for others and their thought processes even when their line of thinking is baffling to him. and i think aisha learns to trust or to have more faith in others on a baseline level from him.

tecna/timmy

i really enjoy tecmy's canon progression so this won't deviate too much from what i feel they're already established to be... (ignoring s5 and after)

so obv tecna starts off not being super in touch with her emotions. she doesn't really know how to talk to timmy (and vice-versa) and also at times she resents him for not being as traditionally brave as other specialists and eggs him on in that respect, which kind of prods at timmy's insecurities. tecna eventually does realize timmy has always been brave but this friction does also push timmy out of his comfort zone into acting more heroically.

eventually, they realize even though their relationship is not conventional, the fact that they can communicate through nerd-speak is fulfilling for both of them and it conveys their care and affection for one another more than adequately

i think that timmy has always thought the world of tecna but that just speaks to how he always tends to view things/people in good faith and with lots of optimism. hence why he never lost hope that tecna was still out there after she sacrificed herself to the omega dimension, but everyone else literally believed she was dead.

they really just understand each other on levels that no one else really does while also balancing each other out. tecna tends toward negative assumptions and cynicism while timmy tends toward hope and keeping an open mind. tecna lowkey externalizes her anxieties/insecurities by lashing out (and kind of justifying it through her logic schtick) while timmy internalizes his insecurities and lets them weigh on him more in silence.

timmy's got JOKES! and tecna isn't so good at being humorous but she thinks timmy is hilarious and they have a way of communicating both positively and negatively that is very unique to them and hard for outsiders to really comprehend

i think the way that they overcome the initial issues in their relationship is just. tecna shedding her preconceptions and really seeing timmy for who he really is and just appreciating his present qualities. and while i don't really think that timmy puts tecna on a pedestal per se, i do think he learns to stop giving her more credit than she's due and stop undermining himself and feeding into his lower self-esteem. once they really just accept themselves and each other for who they are, they're able to just co-exist very harmoniously. and they figure out how to validate and support one another!

bloom/sky

okay tbh i barely have any thoughts on skoom just because. they're my least favorite winx and specialist respectively DFLJS

i play around with their dynamic depending on my mood (so sometimes i'm like Sky Bad but other times i'm like Skoom Happy) but i guess my most consistent Thing is that i firmly believe sky has been like. raised to fulfill the Prince Charming(tm) archetype. it's a little bit of a case of chicken or the egg/nature vs nurture (is sky just Like This or is he trying to fulfill expectations of what he should be and that's just who he ended up becoming?) but in my mind sky is just Prince Charming But With Flaws.

i think sky has had a lot of pressure to be a perfect young prince all his life and so he's very used to calling the shots but also not needing to think about more mundane, lower-order concerns a lot of the time. (he doesn't figure out how to dress himself until at least a year into his relationship with bloom.) i also think he's somewhat resentful of his position in life and other people of similar stations (so people like diaspro) bc he subconsciously kind of views himself as better than/more noble than the people around him. so he finds bloom to be refreshing because she's very candid and authentic and doesn't have that etiquette training beat into her head like most of the girls he knows.

bloom is just someone who has a lot of wonder for this new magical world she's been introduced to and sky's an extension of that as her prince charming come to life. as bloom comes to understand the magical dimension for all of its dangers and its dark underbelly, bloom also uncovers sky's hypocrisies and mild elitism and avoidant tendencies and other flaws. but just as bloom wholeheartedly embraces being a fairy, she embraces sky for who he is and they ultimately help each other grow and change.

i think bloom and sky both have a strong sense of duty toward the people in their lives, bloom toward the people she loves and sky toward the his family and the kingdom he inherited. this is something that both unites them but also means their interests clash at times.

their arguments would be like. interrupting each other and assuming they already know what the other person is going to say. getting frustrated at that and dealing with the fallout. then realizing that they didn't have as clear of a picture as they thought they did, and ultimately talking through it and working things out.

mmm bloom helps sky down from his high horse and makes him into a more sympathetic and humble leader while sky supports bloom in realizing her full potential as fairy of the dragon flame and princess of domino.

aaaaand that's all the rambling i can handle for now. but i can always talk more more more!!!!! i love all of these characters and their dynamics so much. (and my shipping is hardly limited to the canon relationships ;) )

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Jay and Jungwon Dynamic Reading

Okay, now time to look into these two. When I have read for them in the past. There were times when they seemed mad each other and others they are cool. This could happen with close friendships. Let's look into what is happening with them now and look a bit deeper than my previous reading of them. I am kind of excited to see what I can get here.

Looking at this spread. I am not getting they seem pretty close at the moment. I got very little cups but let me try to decipher this. This seems a bit complex too.

Overall energy: So, they got two cards (Capricorn/House 2) that indicate hard work and money, so energy wise it seems these two are highly focused on work and their finances. There may not be much of a connection at the moment. But this could also mean, they are both highly ambitious, so they tend not to put much energy on the dynamic. It doesn't necessarily mean they aren't close, but their ambition keeps them a bit distant from each other. I say their bond is quite intellectual. I see these two bouncing ideas off of each other a lot. I feel they help out each other with ideas, like if they need an idea for something. They can go to each other.

Jay's energy: From his end, he seems a bit more open and receptive to Jungwon. Jay got the Knight of Cups in his spread, so I see him offering Jungwon a lot of emotional support and help. I also see with the Father card, he provides stability and support to Jungwon. I can see that, since Jungwon has mentioned, he likes to room with Jay, because he does everything for him. He definitely does help him out a lot.

And with this Ace of Pentacles, I can see Jay offering him money, or something, maybe buying him things a lot. I look at the 3 of Wands and just see Jay as a ride or die type of person for Jungwon. He will be there with him through all the ups and downs.

Jay is also a very smart person, also very observant when it comes to their bond. I feel he gives him a lot of great advice and share a lot of his ideas and opinions on things. Jay seems very cool, calm and collected when it comes to Jungwon. I see him observing him a lot. He also seems very open to Jungwon's ideas. Like Jay may be stubborn and challenging to others, but I don't really see that with Jungwon. It seems like Jay will deal with any difficulty or challenge to help Jungwon in any way. He just seems like a calm presence in Jungwon's life. Always providing his ideas and input whenever he needs it.

With this Child Magical card, he seems very open, receptive and optimistic when it comes to their bond. He may be the one that provides optimism and hope to Jungwon. I also think he just adores Jungwon. Like he can't do any wrong in his eyes.

Now, with this 3 of Pentacles, he feels they are a good team and that they work well together and blend well together. And once again, something about them bringing ideas together. I can also see these two having a common goal and that is why they work well together. They may have the same mindset when it comes to what they want to do about their career and finances, and maybe in life in general.

So, for his guidance he got the Skunk spirit, which states Know your worth, for me, I think Jay may need to work on his confidence in this dynamic but also recognize his worth. He may not feel recognized and appreciated as much, but this card tells him he is valuable to Jungwon, even if he doesn't see it.

Man, it was hard to articulate Jay's point of view for some reason. Like I get where he is coming from, but to put this in words was kind of hard, not sure what that is about. I feel this has been in his energy the past readings with him. I wonder what that is about with him.

Jungwon's energy: Now, from his spread. He seems a bit more distant, than Jay to be real. Once again, getting the Hermit card with him. Jungwon keeps giving me this energy of wanting to be alone. Also, why is this card giving me he may have stomach issues, also could relate to anxiety of some sort, interesting side note here.

It seems Jungwon kind of wants to keep his distance. With the 3 of Swords and The Moon card, it seems Jungwon may be going through it. This is similar energy to Sunoo in his dynamic where similar vibes, it seems Jungwon has his own problems, so it is hard for him to connect in this dynamic. With this Virgin card, I look at the image of someone hiding themselves.

I feel Jungwon does not like to be vulnerable around Jay or anyone, so he hides this from him and maybe others. This could be why he is distant. He doesn't want to reveal this weakness to him. So, he sticks to himself and doesn't really share anything too deep with him

With this Knight of Swords, Jungwon likes communicating with him on an intellectual level, but not emotionally. It is like they can have fun intellectual conversations and have these back-and-forth conversations. I do feel they banter a lot as well, because they both have strong opinions on things, but nothing too crazy. But it is more surface level stuff, nothing too deep. He likes to keep that side of him to himself.

I am not too sure what this Empress card means for him in this dynamic. He is nurturing and sensitive. Has some love for humanity and the Earth, a creative, but he isn't giving me what this means for the dynamic. There may be a lot of things he cares about that he doesn't want to show. I can't understand that card, sorry, I am too impatient to figure what that means. Maybe there were some creative projects that fell through for him, and he may have expressed that to Jay, but not sure he went too deep into how that affected him.

With the 4 of Pentacles, he is pretty closed off, keeps to himself. There is this need to control how he appears and what he shows to Jay and most likely others. I feel Jay gives a bit more to this dynamic, than Jungwon does at the moment. I totally understand Jungwon's energy here. I am the same way. We can kind of can be selfish with our time and energy in relationships. Not saying that is a good thing, but that is how some people are. I don't see him putting a lot of effort into this dynamic at the moment. It is about himself and his own needs.

Now, for Jungwon's guidance, he got Buffalo sprit, I feel this card is telling him to open up and to be open to receive things from Jay, and to not be too closed off and also offer parts of himself that he shuts down to the relationship. Good things will come if he opens up more. Also, he may feel he lacks in some things as well, which is why he may hide himself. This tells him that it is all in his mind and he has an abundance of things to share. Like the more he gives, the more he will receive. Some of these messages are savage lol I got stop the stinginess lol

Man, this was even harder than HeeSun, did not expect that. Hopefully some of this makes sense. It was hard to articulate this one and make sense of this spread, especially on Jay's end.

[zosonils]

🫵PHOTON TRIVIA

o7 YOU GOT IT BOSS!!

as much as i love making robots who Think Like Robots there's none of that here! photon is the ghost of someone real shoved into a metal body and just as unpredictable and irrational as any meat brain is. too obviously mechanical to be a person, too painfully human [mobian. whatever] to be a robot. [and don't you worry, i've definitely thought about how this in-between existence would collide with other robots in the series. give me a minute to stop crying every time i think about mecha sonic mkii and then i'm sending his ass to scrapnik island]

he derisively calls sonic 'meat sonic'. at first it was in response to being called 'metal sonic,' but now that he has his own name it's just this bizarre orphaned punchline kept alive by some mix of complacency and spite. for what it's worth meat sonic thinks it's funny as fuck that photon calls him that

photon can't cry, at least not at first. just doesn't have the physical functionality built into him. he tells himself that it's no loss, he/sonic hated crying anyway, but it's definitely not good for him that such a deeply psychologically necessary function is gone!

of course my autistic ass has thought about the jules and photon dynamic. it's weird, and awkward, and steeped in a thousand layers of feelings that neither of them know how to articulate, but i reckon they do like each other and they are good for each other. jury's still out on whether they can claim to be family, but it's hard not to at least be SOMETHING with the probable only other person on the entire planet who understands at least a little bit of what you're going through, y'know

out of all the things he can't do anymore, photon REALLY misses eating. leftovers from his organic-by-design brain keep telling him that it's been way too long since he ate and he'd feel better if he slammed back a chili dog. he can usually laugh off being asked a fundamentally robot-proof question like when he last slept or if he needs a shower and genuinely not be hurt [much] by it, but he gets real quiet if someone accidentally asks him if he wants anything to eat

because he struggles to conceptualise his body as His Body, he's really bad at treating the possibility of hurting himself with the appropriate gravity. as a result, he's prone to letting himself get injured if it means he gets more done in a fight, or ignoring minor damage until it compounds enough that he's falling apart, or pushing himself until his systems short out. thanks to this reckless approach to personal safety, he's been fully ship of theseus'd at least once since his original neo metal sonic body, which i'm sure is great for that aforementioned difficulty connecting himself with the body he's in

most of photon's interaction with sonic canon post-heroes is vague and messy and not something i've come up with an answer i like to, but i'm pretty confident in how he fits into the idw chunk of the timeline! he never 'officially' joins the restoration, and he's still just as prone to fucking off halfway across the planet as meat sonic, but he starts to be a pretty common sight around their hq. fighting eggman isn't really fun for photon anymore the way it is for sonic, having your entire identity irreversibly ripped away from you by someone makes any future victory against them feel hollow, but he's still got that burning drive to help others - the restoration gives him ways to fight indirectly enough that he can actually feel good about it again. he's one of the few who can meaningfully defend the metal virus survivors, and you BET he's so pissed at sonic for letting it happen he can hardly think straight. lanolin and tangle probably try to get him in the neo diamond cutters, but i don't think he'd take them up on the offer, given that he doesn't respond well to being told what to do. like i mentioned, i want to send his ass to scrapnik island and see how he plays off of another robot sonic turned terrifyingly real and separate person. then of course there's the dynamic between him and belle, which honestly could be a whole post by itself. after a couple years with only a tiny handful of non-grief-inducing friends and some unsustainably destructive coping mechanisms to his name, the point that idw picks up from is where photon finally goes from just enduring the horrors to genuinely feeling happier again :]

[borzoilover69]

I would like you to elaborate on dirk and Dave's relationship post game! 0u0

I want to make one thing clear. Neither of them are particularly bad people for reacting the way they do. They are products of their environments and their upbringings, and this reflects a LOT in their behaviour. This is my personal interpretation.

I think it starts off generally well. They have enough in common to talk a lot, and so much to catch up on! I’d imagine they chat for quite a while and build up raport.. and then as time goes on, they start to sort of get on each others nerves.

Dirk has a habit of over analysing and trying to get into peoples minds to further understand them. This isnt a bad thing, i think he genuinely does it out of wanting to understand and “vibe” with them better, but it may seem weird and unncessary for others. What with being isolated socially for so long, the alpha kids in general have some strange ways of saying things that seem perfectly normal to them, as well as interpretation, that strike others as off or strange, and dirk is no exception. They arent as handy with social cues.

This is important because well, while Dave is good at running his mouth, he struggles to articulate effectively when he cares. Im sure as we have seen in canon, especially with people he loves, Dirk will probably try to look too deep into it and reach a conclusion that isnt the best. Dirk needs people he cares about to communicate honestly and openly. This is something Dave will struggle to do due to his aforementioned inability to articulate when he cares the most.

Of course I cannot forget mentioning the abuse in the relationship Dave had with his bro. One that on reflection of his childhood later, led to him being incredibly uncomfortable with when he realised the way he was brought up was certainly not normal. It did not help qualm Daves nerves. Especially when Dirk said he could see himself doing that. Dave is compassionate, but he is not entirely forgiving. I feel that while Dirk thinks its best to be aware of this manner, it would just make Dave uncomfortable at the idea of repetition. One which i feel he could not voice.

Diving deeper into personal musings, considering some of the evidence that Dirk coveted Dave for a long time, Given how much we see him covet Dave it has a very high chance of flipping the other way as a natural prince of heart destroying and picking at himself. Dirk has a desire to be useful, a desire to succeed, and his accomplishments fail in the face of daves in both timelines.

Dirk has two people we are established he holds especially dear to him, and that is Dave and Jake. However with that level of attachment and endearment it can become unhealthy. Dave and Jake arent the best when it comes to communication, or establishing the most stable of relationships if canon is to go off of. Without proper care and communication this turns out bad.

I personally feel like as time would go along, the silence between them would grow longer due to the lack of communication of issues between them. Dave would rather skirt them, Dirk would rather bottle them until he eventually explodes. Its that or theyd have a codependent relationship for a while before cutting it all off out of a want to fix things by trying to be there for the other, but facing difficulty in their desires being too different, Dave wanting time to build up raport and slowly close that gap while Dirk just wants to get there as efficiently as possible and missing the point of the picture.

TLDR; If you put a kid through literal isolation for 16 years and give him a meager amount of social situations its going to be very difficult for them to aclimate to someone more accustomed to the ebb and flow of relationships. If you give an abuse victim a younger alternate version of their abuser theyre never going to be ok with it entirely.

Its 3 am ill prolly delete this later

[thatgirl4815]

Sorry to pester, but re. your point about Ray bringing up Sand's feelings for him only when he's drunk/high - I also wondered if part of that wasn't a simmering frustration at Sand's (understandable, don't get me wrong!) refusal to articulate those feelings to Ray despite Ray having tried to open up that channel of communication a couple of times. When he's sober he can only broach it in a light-hearted (ep 4) or studiously casual (ep 6) way, but when he's off his head it all comes tumbling out in the most toxic, muddled up way possible. I expected to end this ep pissed at Ray but honestly he was so pitiful I still just feel bad for him. Like that classic parental rejoinder - I'm not angry, just disappointed! (Though I think part of that is my disbelief at how callously Mew is using him - all my anger got immediately redirected when Mew couldn't kiss him in private but had no difficulty making out with him to piss off Top - initially I tried to give Mew the benefit of the doubt, thinking he'd at least TRY to feel something more for Ray/give the relationship a go but nah, he's giving literally nothing! Everything he's doing, from trying out Ray's life-endangering self-destructive behaviours for funsies to using Ray's feelings for him to get revenge on Top, when out of everyone he's the one who knows how close Ray's issues came to killing him... Is it any wonder Ray goes after Sand?? Even HE can't fail on some level to pick up on Mew's total disinterest!

Yeah, I’d imagine the majority of people were worried after Ep7 that Ray would be using both Mew and Sand this ep, “two-timing” just like Boston said. But the interesting subversion is that Mew is using Ray much more than Ray is using Mew. Mew even comments that Ray loves him unconditionally, which is the very thing that Mew is using against him; he knows he’s got Ray wrapped around his little finger, so he doesn’t have to worry about using his affection to get back at Top. It indicates just how pathetic Mew thinks Ray is that Ray doesn’t have enough self-respect to walk away from him despite what he’s doing. Mew doesn’t even TRY to be subtle, and idk whether to be aggravated or pleased at that from a viewing perspective.

About Ray and Sand’s admission of their feelings—I’ve said before that I think they have good communication when they’re speaking one-on-one, but the truth is that they are also very indirect when it comes to feelings. Sand told Ray that he would never take someone like him as his boyfriend in Ep3, yet we know he wants a relationship with Ray as early as Ep4, and definitely in Ep5. Sand tells Ray he cares about him in Ep6 and 7, but then he’s (as you indicated, understandably) cold towards him when he sees Ray with Mew, despite the fact that Ray and Sand have never explicitly indicated that they are anything but friends. In that sense, I think Ray is valid for his frustrations about his relationship with Sand; at the same time, I think Sand is valid for being upset about Ray’s relationship with Mew. That’s what’s making their plot so complex—neither one of them is invalid for their feelings imo.

So their romantic feelings are almost entirely based on wordless subtleties that no one seems too keen on vocalizing at the moment (but it looks like they will be addressing them more directly next episode). It makes them both frustrated, but once they address those feelings in words I think it’ll resolve a lot of the tension.

[chubbydino]

I just finished reading Fool's Gold.

I feel an overwhelming amount of a myriad of emotions, and the need to put it all into words, imbued with the certainity that I will never find the words to express the true depth of what I feel, nor will there ever be a time when what I have to say will even begin to tell you just how much gravity and meaning this story holds.

nevertheless, I will try.

rpf rids you of the difficulty of creating a character - it gives you a name, face, quirks that make them true to their person, a life and circumstances, and above it all the freedom to do with that what you will. this often comes with the cost of your characters, who are real people, becoming mere puppets of a story, vessels intended to tell it.

to be able to tell a story that has never happened as you wish to tell it, centred around people that very much breathe, live, and exist all while making them true to their own person is no easy task. and yet you've done it so irreproachably. you've somehow painstakingly, and impeccably struck a balance between creating a world for them, whilst still writing an ode to them as real people.

I went into Fool's Gold wary of the tags, staunchly believing you couldn't convince me of many of the things you had implied. I understand now. there wasn't a single sentence that I didn't believe with my full heart.

my simple mind couldn't even begin comprehending how you managed to weave such an intricate, riveting plot. there's not a single thing you didn't think of. every sentence you wrote felt like it was thought out and decided well before any of these people or these events happened. everytime I thought I knew what was happening, you very artfully reminded, I in fact, did not.

you had such generously fleshed out stories and love for every character that I couldn't help but wonder how you could conclude so very many relationships in a sensible way. nevertheless I trusted you to write an epilogue that would be delicate, sensible and bittersweet, much like most meaningful stories.

having read the last chapter, beginning the epilogue confused me. and then i was fraught with anger. what of the stories you told me before ? what of them ? and then as i continued to read, i felt as if i had been doused with water, not the kind that leaves you shaking and spluttering, but the gentle kind a mother bestows upon her child - with care and love, and in some parts the feeling that times will not always be like this. suddenly I wanted to be nowhere but where you had taken me, hear no other story than the one you were telling in that moment. and just like that, it was over.

thank you, with everything in me, thank you.

i don't really have words to properly articulate myself, but thank you. fool's gold will always be special to me in many ways, and allowed me to engage in F1 in a way far beyond how i'd been doing so for years prior.

it has its flaws and there are parts people hate about it (including the epilogue lol) and there are a lot of things i would improve in the fic, but the joy of fanfic for me is that it is what it is, raw and unpolished. FG really taught me a lot about myself and opened a lot of doors for me that would be firmly shut if i hadn't accepted a $5 venmo for coffee from my dear friend who wanted me to write my crazy rpf idea.

i'd never written rpf before FG and wow did it change my whole opinion on rpf 😂 f1 rpf is still the wild west in many ways but i LOVE writing my messed up takes on these guys who i have no clue about irl 😂😂😂

[evercelle]

HELLO I LOVE YOUR LATEST PIECE SM....

was wondering if you had any strong pg saiou/oumasai hcs? or strong pg headcanons in general??

i collect peoples pg hcs in this unsuspecting jar labelled brainrot.

sorry if youve been asked this before btw!! my memory isnt great BDBBSBXB

hmmm i have difficulty articulating it! i see the pregame characters as being on the surface total opposites to their in-game counterparts, but on a deeper dive they still retain the fundamental aspects of who they are, just cast in a darker/more negative light than in-game... for example, momota's brashness, conviction & stubbornness is the same (pregame: i'll be the victor no matter what --> in-game: i'll be a hero you can rely on no matter what). saihara's nature is obsession (with the franchise as a fan, with the truth as a detective); akamatsu's is determination and un/intentional callousness (i'm going to win/stop the game without regard to others [by taking things into my own hands/to save them]).

for pregame ouma... i see him as a guy who's going through the motions in life, who's boring and able to just. blend in and get along because he lacks the courage or purpose to be someone remarkable. guy that lacks in-game ouma's confidence and arrogance, but still retains the fundamental aspect of his loneliness and dishonesty--but that disingenuousness is the conflict between the mask you wear as a Member In A Society vs. the self you wish you could be. he's still gotta have claws in there somewhere, because you gotta be some kind of unhinged to volunteer for a death game...!! that's the feeling i wanted to draw in the last piece... "i want to be more than i am," even at a terrible price

(p.s. dont have a strong pg!ousai hc, tho the works where ouma enters v3 to try to save saihara are kind of cute...! i think my favorite kind is more about pg!ouma seeking to enter the game and break it bc he hates the killing game even before he became a player.)