#i have decided they are gay and i will stand by that until my dying days lmao

[toubledrouble]

Blades of Glory tried to be so homophobic it backfired and made it the gayest movie I have ever seen with my own pair of eyes

[gabessquishytum]

HI GABE recently my brother's choir presented "Carmen" and the 1800s' sexism of it all made me a little mad, so here I am, taking it for inspiration and making it Gay™ so that I can fecking go to sleep without fuming lol

Dream is someone who likes to party and knows how to have a good time - he dances from lover to lover without much care for "permanence". He frequents most of the bars and clubs around London, knows most of the people working on these places, he does drugs, does people, and most of the regulars knows him and his ways: you can have him for a single night and be happy for it, but do not try to wish for more than that.

Enter Alex, who had recently lost his father and broken up with his secret boyfriend of a couple years, and is trying to go out more and explore his sexuality, and has the misadventure of having his first one night stand be Dream. Needless to say, he becomes obsessed and tries repeatedly to have Dream's attention for himself, following him around the bars and clubs, insinuating himself in conversations, and when eventually he gets banned from most places, he starts waiting for Dream outside.

Hob, on the other hand, as a regular in a couple of the clubs Dream frequents, has known of him for a while but never tried to tap that, no matter how tempting he looks. They exchange a few words here and there but Hob wishes for things more permanent than a single night, and with the way he falls hard and fast, he knows having Dream once and never again would break his heart.

Things come to a head when Alex and two men try to corner Dream when he's leaving with his partner of the night - it's late and dark and the partner dips the moment it's clear the men are there for Dream only, and Alex still tries to reason with Dream to give them a chance, but when Dream refuses and calls him crazy, he orders the men to grab him and throw him inside the car, and Dream is frantic trying to get away from them—

And Hob appears out of nowhere like an avenging angel with three more guys, punching the man closer to Dream in the face and throwing his entire body against the other one, his friends holding them on the ground while the police is called. Alex unfortunately escapes during the brawl like the coward he is.

After that a new normal is stablished - Dream agrees to let Hob accompany him and the partner of the time their place if it's close enough, or just standing outside with them until their cab arrives. They start talking during these walks/waits, developing a friendship neither of them expected. Dream shares about the parts of his life he keeps separated from his night persona, Hob shares about his ex-wife and time of homelessness, and I don't know if I want to make the end Carmen Canon, make Dream bleed out on Hob's arms after Alex stabs him (don't worry, he gets better lol) or just make them develop a relationship where Dream still does as (and who) he pleases but this time with Hob by his side, while Alex goes back to Paul, the only person who seems to have the patience to deal with him, and begs his ex to take him back

We must always gay-ify the classics, if we can! It makes them so much better!

I feel like as per Carmen canon, it would be right to have Alex attempt to murder Dream in a jealous rage! He's seen that Dream is growing closer to Hob, and although they may still be sleeping with other people, it's entirely clear that they love each other deeply. They're friends, confidants, maybe even soulmates, and Hob seems to understand Dream so perfectly. Alex can't bear the idea of Dream loving anyone else, so he decides that Dream must die. If Alex can't have him then no one can.

Hob wishes that he was the one dying as he holds Dream in his arms, begging for the ambulance to arrive sooner, before it's too late. Dream is so thin and pale anyway, but with the blood-loss he seems even more vulnerable. Hob wants nothing more than to give his own life for Dream, but all he can do is try to keep him warm and stem the bleeding. He prays that Alex's aim was bad, and that the knife didn't hit anything vital. He practically shakes Dream to keep him awake. Promises him that everything will be alright.

In the hospital where he finally wakes up, Dream has vague recollections of Hob’s lips pressing against his skin. He's pretty sure that there was an "I love you" somewhere along the way. And Hob is still right beside him, asleep in the tiny hospital chair.

Dream loves his freedom, his transience and his ability to chose whatever person or people he fancies every night. But it also occurs to him that he really loves Hob. And maybe, the two things can exist together. Why shouldn't be have everything?

One thing is for sure - Alex is lucky that he's going to prison, because Hob would gladly kill him, if he had the chance.

[lucajayms]

i sincerely apologize for the rant

pre bullets gerard plsplsplspls!!!! they have an office crush at cartoon network then she moves away without telling anyone and they replace her (CUBICLES BEST SONG EVER) so then he just keeps wondering what may have happened, until mcr are playing like in another city during revenge era then mikey sees her in the crowd before a show and he goes to gerard right before going onstage and its like hey gerard remember that girl you talked about 24/7 in 2001, shes here tonight. and gee just freaks out while trying to play down the whole performance becase hes scared she wont like the whole fake blood/gay/screaming thing. then they finish the performance and he goes to find her and shes like all happy bc she knew he was gonna do much better things than to work at a shitty office. and shes a big comic book artist and does really weid like blood and vampire stuff so shes so happy that gerard also does weird blood vampire stuff. and then theyre happy and then the umbrella academy happens and yea

yea youre free to ignore this, i just have too much free time to imagine shit like this 👍

HELP I LOVE THIS SO SO MUCH!

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CUBICLES

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gerard way x reader she/her used use of y/n

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masterlist

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warnings: swearing!

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"Maybe you could draw her more like this to bring out the background more so she's not just stiff," I instructed him. Gerard is a very talented artist, he just has a little bit of trouble deciding what to put where.

"But I feel like if she was a little different, due to her design, she'd go flat," Gerard argues, putting his pencil where he was describing.

I sigh as I place my hand delicately to my chin, trying to see what he's talking about. The deadline is soon and he's not done pitching these characters. "Honestly, Gerard? Whatever feels right. You'll get her."

"You sure?" He asks, seeking confirmation in my words.

I smile, nodding my head, "Yeah. Deadline is tomorrow, just do whatever feels right!" I say before I'm off to my cubicle to continue my project.

I knew he was looking at me. For weeks now, it had become a pattern—one I could almost draw if I could figure out how to capture that lingering gaze in ink. He thought he was subtle, keeping his distance and asking me barely relevant questions about some “project” or “character design” he’d been working on. Gerard was charming, though; there was no denying that. Quiet, a little too good at staring at his desk, and adorably oblivious to how easy it was to read him.

“Hey, uh, (Y/N)?” I looked up from my sketchbook, where I’d been mindlessly drawing a graveyard scene—something I had an odd fascination with lately. Gerard was standing there, hands stuffed in his pockets, wearing that awkward half-smile that looked better on him than it should.

“Gerard,” I said, glancing up with a smirk. “To what do I owe the honor?”

He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. “I…uh…just wanted to see what you were working on.”

I flipped my sketchbook shut, even though I knew he was dying to see what I’d been drawing. “Just some stuff. You’d probably think it’s too creepy.”

“Try me.”

Maybe it was because I wanted to test him, see how he’d react to what was under the surface, but I opened the book back up and turned it to face him. His eyes widened as he took in the vampires, blood, and dark cemeteries I’d sprawled across the pages.

“You…actually drew all of this?”

I shrugged, trying to keep my cool. “It’s not much. Just whatever’s in my head.”

He laughed, this soft, surprised sound. “Whatever’s in your head is amazing.” He paused, his eyes lingering a second too long.

I grinned, leaning back in my chair. “Well maybe not everything, Way.” I tossed my pen onto my desk, feigning nonchalance. “Can’t have too many weirdos like me around. Bad for the office’s reputation.”

And that's why I left.

Maybe I should’ve told him I was leaving. I hated the idea of going without a goodbye, but part of me figured I’d see him again. He’d get over it. Life had a way of carrying people in different directions, and honestly? I couldn’t stand the thought of another month behind that desk. I needed to be somewhere I could let these ideas out, somewhere that didn’t expect me to keep my weirdness behind a closed sketchbook.

The day I left, I watched the office fade from my rearview mirror, fingers tapping the steering wheel as a familiar guilt crept in. I didn’t leave him my number or my address or even a hint of where I’d gone. Some part of me hoped he’d figure it out. But after that, there was just silence.

Gerard

She left without a word. Just…gone. I tried to keep going like I didn’t notice, told myself it wasn’t a big deal. But the absence gnawed at me, creeping into every sketch and unfinished character. (Y/N) was gone, and I had no clue where she’d gone or why. I stopped asking questions after a while, but I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The thought became like an echo in my mind, constant and inescapable, pushing me to drown it out with anything I could find.

And I did.

One show after another, one drink, one line, whatever I could find to keep the silence at bay. The stage helped a little—at least there, I had the lights in my eyes and the noise blocking out the mess in my head. I’d stand in front of the crowd, hands dripping with fake blood, trying to exorcise whatever pieces of myself felt missing. But then the high would fade, and I’d be left in a dark room, trying to ignore the question that refused to die.

Where did she go?

I kept the band going, kept pretending it didn’t matter, kept letting the weight build. It wasn’t like I had any choice. The shows were packed, and the screams of the crowd felt like both a relief and a punishment. They had no idea. No idea that some days, it felt like I’d never get off this damn ride, that maybe I’d crash and burn right here. But something shifted in 2004. I couldn’t explain it—maybe it was seeing my friends’ faces or feeling the burn of another empty night. But I knew that if I kept going like this, I’d lose everything. I’d lose myself.

I finally made the decision to clean up, and in August 2004, I was clean. Free. My body hated me for it, and my brain wasn’t much friendlier, but I had to get clean. I couldn’t keep living on the edge of destruction. Every day after that, it felt like I was shedding pieces of the person I’d become just to survive. By the time I left, I was…well, I was alive. And that had to be enough.

It had been nearly a year since I’d gotten clean, and for the first time, it felt like I could really breathe on stage again. I could look out at the faces in the crowd and see them. Really see them, not just the blur of movement and lights I’d been numbing myself to. This was what I’d always wanted. This was where I wanted to be.

"MANHATTAN!" I scream into the mic and the crowd before more goes wild. "We are going to FUCK SOME SHIT UP TONIGH!"

And as I say that, Mikey plays the beginning of Give Em' Hell Kid. The set goes without hiccups, the crowd is perfect, and the most I've seen in a few weeks. Right as we leave the stage before the encore, Frank grabs me by my collar.

"Holy shit, Gee," He starts, and concern bubbles in my stomach. Did I do something wrong?

"What? What is it?"

He shakes his head vigorously, "I don't know if I'm tripping, but I swear to God I saw the girl you keep drawing in the crowd."

Fuck.

"What?!" I exclaim.

"Thirty seconds to encore!" One of the stagehands yells.

"Frank, where did you see her?" I ask, frantic. There's no possible way she could be here tonight. Why would she be here tonight.

"Our left, by the barricade. I think?" He explains, looking up to recount exactly where he saw her. My heart thuds against my ribcage as Frank’s words sink in, and I feel my throat tighten. (Y/N)? Here? After all these years?

"Ten seconds!" the stagehand yells, clapping his hands. Mikey shoots me a quick look, and Frank gives me a small, reassuring nod. There’s no time to think or even process—I’m barely holding onto the last traces of composure as we rush back on stage. I grab the mic, trying to get my focus back on the crowd, but every nerve in me is lit up, wondering if (Y/N) is really here tonight.

“MANHATTAN!” I shout again, forcing energy into my voice, hoping it’s enough to cover the wild surge of emotions that’s slamming through me. “YOU READY FOR ONE LAST ROUND?”

The crowd screams, and the band jumps into Helena, the encore I should be ready to pour my soul into. But all I can think about is her—her face, the way she used to sketch, her laugh. The lights are blinding, and I try to keep my focus on the crowd, but my eyes keep searching, desperate to find a glimpse of her. I don’t know if I’m imagining it, but by the end of the song, I swear I see her—a flash of her hair, bright eyes, her face half-turned away in the crush of people, but unmistakably her.

The song ends, and we give a final shout before exiting the stage. As soon as we’re out of sight of the crowd, I turn to Frank, breathless.

“You’re absolutely sure it was her?” I ask, gripping his shoulder.

“Fuck, I don't know how accurate your drawings are,” he says, his voice serious. “Bit it was her, Gee. I’m sure of it.”

“Holy shit,” I breathe, running a hand through my hair as the adrenaline surges through me again. "Where do I even start looking?"

Frank raises an eyebrow. “I’d start by getting your ass back out there before she disappears again. You just finished the show. You’ve got maybe five minutes before the crowd starts spilling out.”

I don’t waste another second. I dart down the steps, half-running, half-pushing past crew members as I head toward the audience exit. It feels like the longest, most insane few minutes of my life, weaving through the backstage area until finally, I’m in the thick of the crowd, scanning every face I can. And then—I see her.

She’s lingering by the side of the barricade, glancing around, half-smiling to herself like she might leave at any moment. She’s a little older, a little different, but I’d know her anywhere. I take a deep breath, feeling my hands start to shake, and then I call out, loud enough to cut through the noise.

“(Y/N)!”

She turns, her eyes finding mine, and for a moment, it’s like everything around us goes still. Her face lights up, and I swear I feel that same electricity that ran between us in the office all those years ago.

"Oh my god, you guys did so good!" She laughed, too, shaking her head. “Gee, look at you! Rockstar Gerard. I always knew you’d end up doing something wild, but I never expected…” She gestured at my blood-stained shirt and smeared makeup. “This.”

I rubbed the back of my neck, heat creeping up my face. “Yeah, well, it’s, uh, a little different from Cartoon Network, that’s for sure. But I never thought I’d see you at a show.”

“Oh, please,” she grinned, giving me a playful nudge. “I knew you’d be doing something big. You were always too talented to be stuck behind a desk, remember?”

I laughed, surprised by the surge of relief that came with her words. “Guess it’s been a while since anyone told me that.”

She softened, and something flickered across her face. “I'm sorry I disappeared. I had to move, and things got in the way, and…” Her voice trailed off, and she shrugged, a little awkwardly. “I never thought we’d run into each other again.”

“Same here,” I admitted, looking down. “But I’m glad we did. Even if it’s, uh…” I glanced at my blood-streaked hands, shaking my head. “Like this.”

She laughed, a bright, genuine sound, and I felt my nerves ease a little. “Honestly, I kind of love it. I’m doing comics, Gee. Lots of, you know…gory, bloody, vampire stuff. Seems like we’re both into weird stuff now.”

“Every time I go into a comicbook store, I look for your name.” I say, feeling a familiar spark of admiration light up in my chest.

“Yeah, well,” she shrugged, but her smile told me she was proud. “I kept drawing, kept pushing for it, and here we are. I got some stuff out that's been somewhat successful, but you—you’re the one really living the dream.”

It felt surreal, standing there with her, years and miles from where we’d left off. She was still (Y/N)—the girl who got me, who somehow saw through everything. But she was different, too. Confident, sharp, like she’d grown in ways I never got to see. And she was right here.

We fell into silence, the crowd thinning around us. Finally, I took a deep breath. “You know, after you left…I wasn’t great, to be honest.”

Her brow furrowed, and she gave me a sympathetic look. “I figured,” she said quietly. “It was a pretty messed-up time for both of us.”

I nodded, knowing she got it. “Yeah, I got pretty lost for a while. It took me…a lot to get back on track, but I’m good now. Clean, you know? And I’m just trying to keep my head on straight, one show at a time.”

She smiled, reaching out to squeeze my shoulder. “Good,” she said, her voice full of warmth. “That’s what you deserve, Gerard. You don’t need anything dragging you down.”

I felt something click into place then—a kind of peace I hadn’t felt in years. “Thanks, (Y/N). Really.”

She grinned, glancing around like she was taking in the whole scene again. “Hey, I think we’re due for a major coffee catch-up. I want to hear everything.”

I chuckled, feeling that old sense of ease wash over me. “Deal,” I said, grinning back. “But only if you show me your sketchbooks. I wanna see all the vampire blood and gore.”

She laughed, rolling her eyes. “You got it. Only fair, since I’ve got a feeling you’ve been drawing me for years anyway.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, and together, we walked out into the night, talking like no time had passed at all. And this time, I knew she wasn’t going anywhere.

(Y/N)

What a fucking life. Leaving Gerard like that in 2001 did something to me, you know? Fucked me up. I felt really fucking bad.

But it's okay. We're good. And by good? I mean my boyfriend is the fucking lead singer of My Chemical Romance. Like, who gets to say that?!

After their final tour ended, Gerard was bugging me more and more about his comic that he was writing and that he desperately wanted me to illustrate for it. Apparently, he had been working on it for around three years, and he wasn't getting anywhere by himself.

"I don't know, baby. I got deadlines," I always say, but God, who could say know to that pretty face of his.

And so I finally agreed to illustrate The Umbrella Academy.

And boy, did that change my life.

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Post Game

Marriage

Before I go into my little blabbering session about my own junk, like, gosh! Doing this was so cool and I feel I've improved so much! Seeing all the other pieces done by others was really awesome too! The highlight in fact which is par for the course of this kinda stuff. But still! Everyone did so well and freaking amazing! So much pretty arts! So many differing interpretations and art styles. Golly! Should totally do something like this again cus this was such a nice experience :))

Post Game - This one's pretty simple. Put them in their Future Foundation suits which are just suits behind a beach that is vaugly Jabberwock. And, they blush cus gay. Had fun with the TV effect and making it somewhat old looking. That's about it. Though, the more I look at it, the more Byakuya looks like he could be snapped in half like spaghetti which I guess is something ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Marriage - This one is the one I did first and is a lot more refined. Decided to take this one in a bit of a different direction too. Instead of them actually getting married, they instead are just playing around with a fake certificate that they photoshopped and printed from online. At least for me, how I read them is that they don't actually get married. Like, they live together in the same place, sleep in the same bed even, but they don't get married. OR, if they do get married, it's small and just a legal document. No big wedding or anything as, the time they are probably at the age to marry, they're already tired of big stuff like that. It'd be a big event and they'd want something more small and quaint instead, either hanging out together or maybe it's Makoto's idea to invite their friends along for the occasion. This is just how I interpret them though. Also, I find it funnier if they just fake it or they never do but Byakuya SO put Makoto in his will and Makoto also secretly put Byakuya in his and they just never tell the other until one of them croaks first. Either that or Makoto says it openly that Byakuya's in his will and the heir just laughs it off, underestimating Makoto and his determination on the will. Also, speaking of them dying, if it's Byakuya first, old man Makoto's taking the gesture well though emotional cus the rich man dead. If it's Byakuya though, he's obviously sad but also sees the will and a part of him goes "CURSE YOU, MAKOTO!!". Not seriously but because Byakuya's thinking of how Makoto didn't need to give him stuff after his death cus I feel Makoto wouldn't skimp out. He's putting all his family and pals in his will as one final send off. He'd make sure that will was the best it could be! Also, I feel Byakuya would feel weird that he's in the same will as Makoto's family and, no matter how long they've been together, it's just so strange. Even when he's gone, he still has a way to make him feel. Gosh, this got kinda sad um... One other thing I wanna mention of this piece is that Makoto either stole Byakuya's tie or he got his own matching one. Also, Byakuya in pretty dress! I had to! Oh, and Makoto totally got help writing his name cus it's in English and Makoto's kinda ass at it. They are totally standing for a picture too. Maybe they got one of the gang to take the pic or they set it up with one of their phones. Or maybe Byakuya just got a really expensive photographer for this and also booked a painter to paint this photo into a painting to put on their bedroom wall. That is equally plausible. And to think that I contemplated and even teased the idea in my head of drawing these two getting fake married with an Elvis impersonator. That might have been a bit TOO goofy though O_O

[sukiipjs]

✮ BLONDIE : PT 2

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

↳ nick sturniolo x masc reader

↳ words - 1961

↳ summary - you’ve been having a hard time realizing and accepting the fact that you’re gay, and in love with your best friend. you try to ignore the feelings but that only makes everything worse until you can’t hide it anymore.

↳ contains - swearing, use of y/n, angst, crying, verbal fighting, idrk 😭 [READ PT 1 - PT 3]

↳ song - blondie by current joys

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

days after and nick hasn’t texted me since. no more random tiktok’s, no more check ins, just complete nothingness now. i don’t blame him of course, i’d do the same if he was being as shitty as me right now. but honestly i miss those texts so so much, even if i rarely responded to him, or more so i miss the texts we had before all this stupid shit started.

but again, i truly don’t even know when it all started, it was so easy to just brush this off these feelings and whatever as a friend thing before and not think of it too much. why can’t it just be a friend thing now?

actually i think ive just accepted it all at this point though. i love him and no it’s not just a friend thing, it’s way more and it always has been way more. sure i might wish it wasn’t, but it is and i know it is and i cant just ignore it.

i’m not even trying to get rid of it anymore, i don’t have the strength for hiding it. honestly i think if i kept trying to get rid of it, it wouldn’t even work. obviously i still won’t tell him, or anyone, unless he pries it out of me. i know he doesn’t feel the same and i doubt he even looks at me as a friend anymore.

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

i continue repeating my own sad cycle of doing nothing but staying in bed, hiding myself from the world… without nick. i still check up on his socials, being the weird stalker that i am and looking at all the story’s and snapchats he posted of himself, he looks just fine without me, of course.

i lay in bed, staring at my phone to avoid looking at the mess around my room. i scroll and scroll, starting to see a weird amount of videos of people taking care of themselves or videos of people ‘spring cleaning’.

i scroll away, i really don’t need to see people functioning completely fine right now, it’s like their taunting me, laughing at me. but the videos just keep coming back, haunting me, laughing at me. all i see through my scrolling cycle is random ass dog videos, cleaning and organizing videos, or nick edits… and that’s exactly what i need.

i let out a loud sigh, slightly rolling my eyes then rolling over to my other side, having my blanket wrap around me. i choose to just swipe off the app and throw my phone to the side of me before closing my eyes and just trying to get some sleep. that way those videos, my stupid feelings, and not even nick can haunt my mind anymore.

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

my eyes flicker open, the sun shining directly in my face and i finally decide to actually do something good for myself and go out for a walk when the sun and clear weather is still out, it’s been raining almost the whole time i’ve seen dying in my room alone.

i slowly move myself up to sit, leaning my back on the wooden headboard behind me and sitting on some pillows below that cushion me. i stretch out my arms in front of me, yawning and running my fingers through my hair to fix the shaggy mess.

i move myself off my bed, stand up then fixing my off center shirt and trying to flatten out a few wrinkles. i throw the blanket that covered me to the side and decide to just throw the shirt and pants that i wear off me -actually putting them somewhere other than on the floor too- i pick out a clean outfit, already feeling way less gross, it’s the small things that count right.

i walk out my room, not forgetting to grab my phone to come with me before going into my bathroom, splashing my face with water to get me more awake. i run my hands in my hair again, fixing it up with my mirror in front of me so i can actually see what i’m doing before grabbing some actual water giving myself something to drink other than dr pepper.

finally i walk out to go by my door, grabbing a light jacket and pulling it over my arms then putting on my shoes and heading out the door. i start off to go a longer way, turning the corner of the sidewalk. i feel all the small breezes on my skin as i get actual sun and nature.

i continue walking random ways, i just want to be out of the mess that i’ve been living in for so long right now. it actually feels nice to be outside, not sitting in a gross hole of dirty clothes and dishes.

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

i walk, making my way around the neighborhood, my eye catching all the small colorful flowers blooming up and all the small brown squirrels scurrying to run up trees as i pass them. i remember all the times me and nick went out, running around the streets when we were younger. not thinking of anything, just being kids living a simple life. i wish it was still that simple.

as i walk, still obviously thinking of nick, i notice the sky above graying and clouds starting to cover up the sun, shit. i start to walk a little faster, hopefully being able to get home before it pours but as soon as i speed up, small water drops start to fall on me.

i grab the end of my jacket to pull it over my head, holding it over me to shield out the rain. the sides of my jacket block my view as i focus on the path i walk to my place.

i look down at my feet walking, trying not to get too wet as the rain pours more and more, bouncing off the sidewalk. suddenly i feel two hands place on me, pushing me back, “the fuck.” i mutter as i look up, gaining my balance on my feet again. “oh” my face softens as i see nick standing in front of me, his blonde hair damp and drops of water falling from his cheek. he stares at me, i can tell he’s mad and obviously i can tell it’s my doing.

“nick-“ he cuts me off quickly, slightly pushing against my shoulders again as i put my jacket down, wearing it normally, my head now getting pelted with rain. “no, i talk. what the fuck y/n. honestly what has been going gone, you’ve completely ignored me for weeks, you keep blowing me off and i don’t fucking know what i did and the only way i can talk to you about this is randomly bumping into you since you won’t even answer my texts?”

“nick-“ i sigh as i try speaking again but he pushes me back once more. his glassy eyes narrow and i see water pooling in them, i can’t tell if it’s rain or tears. “no! you’re my- you’re supposed to be my best friend and this shit isn’t cutting it y/n! just what is it! what is it. what did i do please just talk to me. if you hate me or something just tell me!” he shouts, his fists starting to clench as i wipe the wet hair in my face away.

“nick stop. you- you didn’t do anything i promise, i’m sorry okay” my voice croaks, i can feel the water pooling in my own eyes now. “then what is it! you can’t just block me out, out of no where.” i shake my head, trying to figure out how to say an actual explanation without saying too much. “nick i’m sorry!”

“stop apologizing! i’m not asking for that, i’m asking for an answer, please. i feel like shit and you haven’t even been there, i kept trying to talk and hang out with you but apparently you hate me now and never want to see me again, i get it!” he scoffs, staring me down as his eyes shut, tears dropping as he takes a breath before opening his eyes back up, wiping off the mixture of tears and rain.

“like i said, if you hate me or suddenly don’t want to be my friend, tell me. i truly, truly, don’t understand this shit your pulling and if you won’t talk now then when will we? you’ll just ignore me again so just spit it out now!” nick keeps rambling on and i just stare at him, seeing how hurt i’ve actually made him. i don’t know what to say, i really don’t.

i just want to shut him up, have him realize that it’s my fault and i don’t hate him. i cut him off as he continues to yell at me, “nick!” my voice feels weak as he shouts back, “what!” i stare at him for a moment, seeing those blue eyes i miss, those star earrings, his grown out roots and before i know it my hands go up to his face, pulling him in as our lips press together.

my hands hold him as strands of his hair poke my fingers, our noses slightly brushing against each others. i quickly step back, eyes wide as i realize what i just did, taking my hands back. “i-im sorry“ my breath is short before i turn around, running away from him to get back to the shit hole of comfort i’m living in to avoid what i just confessed.

i swear i hear him try to call my name but i ignore it, i can’t see him. what did i just do. i can’t even process any of this.

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

i finally reach my place again and i swiftly open my door and walk inside, standing as raindrops slide off of me, creating a small puddle on the floor below. i shake off my hair a little, flicking the water droplets off of me. i take off my jacket, putting it on a hook to let it dry as i take off my shoes too, leaving them by the door.

i wipe my face off with the palms of my hands, wiping off many of my tears that still fall. i walk over to my fridge, getting out another dr pepper then walking over to my couch, slumping down into it as i set my can down and wrap a blanket around myself to warm me up again.

i slowly slide to the side, laying myself down on the cushions. why the actual fuck would i kiss him? what that really the best thing i could do? he already hated me, i did not have to make it worse. i ponder in my head, genuinely trying to find a valid reason of why i just kissed my best friend that hates me. oh. my. god. i’ve ruined my life -not like it was already ruined- i’m never coming back from this.

i stare at the unopened dr pepper sitting on my coffee table, i try making myself reach for it but my arms don’t want to leave the warmth of the blanket i’m huddled in. i hear my phone buzz next to the dr pepper on, i also cannot seem to have my arm reach out to see who’s calling, i hope it’s not who i think but why would he even call me?

rain pelts out on my window, water sliding down the cold glass of it as i lay holding my blanket close to me, pulling the blanket over my eyes as they close, resting as i try forget about my phone continuously buzzing and the drink still on my table.

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

taglist : @slutforchriss @mattsleftnipple03 @mattsdinosweater @ccolleenn @mixvchelle @leah-loves-lilies @sturn-wrld @redz0nez9 @cheriematt @freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @whore4matt @txssvx @will-yummy @matty-bear @venusbabysblog @m0r94n

[spectrumspace]

the Thing about Mid-2010s Ace Discourse that gets me is that even if you weren't really someone who kept their pulse on the latest news in the lgbt+ community or queer theory or whatever, it'd still make its way onto your dash in a more subtle way as "cringe"

like i think a lot of funny posts at the time being made by the Big Guys were like "34yo 'fandom moms' about to doxx a preteen for not shipping rey-lo" followed by an image of peter griffin photoshopped to have dyed hair, piercings, heavy makeup, and a shirt in the ace flag colors using a laptop with fandom stickers on it. like very much a "gay people i do not respect" strawman but with the label scribbled out and a new one slapped on. and no one really read into it critically

and if someone did actually go "hey what does asexuality have to do with it" they were put on blast by op and their friends for "reading too much into it" and the post would immediately devolve into bullying whoever decided to speak out -- often someone very young and/or with trouble picking up on social cues -- until they wrote up a long emotional thesis trying to stand their ground where inevitably they said something wrong and op got to say something like "ummmm 😳 did you just say lesbianism is aphobic??? 😂" and everyone would reblog the whole miles-long thread going "LMAOOO CRINGE" with the subtle insinuation that All Ace People Are Like This.

like i never saw anyone share around straight up Discourse™ discourse on my dash specifically, even if i knew it was out there/saw it in the wild outside my personal bubble sometimes, but this kinda stuff was Everywhere thanks to the rise of "cringe culture", and i think that was more fundamentally damaging than any 10k word google doc essay with sources trying to make an "intelligent point" for ace exclusion

[thescaryhyperfem]

"I craved you for so long"

My own little SCP-106 (Lawrence) x SCP-913 (Mr. Hungry) fanfic hah i hope you guys like it

note: i made this at midnight, sorry if its bad

—

1941, two closeted young gay men in the US lived together in a small apartment. Things were tough since the US joined WW2, as one of the men had been forced to going to the war. The lad was in his bedroom, getting ready to go, his worried boyfriend next to him.

"Larry, please tell me you're going to be okay..." His boyfriend said.

"I really don't know, maybe I'll end up to the paleontologists to find my bones." Larry replies, chuckling a bit. His humor was a bit crude.

"Don't say that!" The boyfriend replied, exasperated. He sighs, wiping sweat off his forehead.

"I'm just joking, honeybuns." Larry said, smiling with a snarky attitude towards his lover.

"This is no laughing matter, you idiot. You know going to the war isn't a funny thing, especially because there's a chance of you dying!" The boyfriend said, standing back up and grabbing him by the uniform.

"You're overthinking. Of course I'm not going to die... I cannot die!" Larry laughs, holding his hands.

"Honey, you are not God." The boyfriend said, grasping his hands.

"But you treat me like one." Larry says, smirking.

"...Whatever, just... Just be safe, okay? I don't want to see your name in a grave." The boyfriend said, kissing him on the lips.

"I will, my love. I will." Larry replies. "By the way, before I go... I made you a batch of sandwiches in the kitchen..."

Then, a sudden knock is heard at the front door. It's time to go. Larry walks downstairs, his boyfriend giving him a last kiss on the cheek.

"Please, stay safe, Larry..."

—

80 years or so later, a man stands in what seems to be a metallic cube. He uses his fingers to draw on the walls of the cube, as his body was covered in some weird, corrosive liquid. He wasn't a human of any sorts, this was SCP-106, 'The Old Man'. He was bored out, it seems, he was just yawning and doodling... Until sirens started to blare. A man started to talk into an intercom.

"SCP-913 has escaped his containment cell! Refrain interacting physically with the anomaly until it is fully fulfilled! I repeat, do NOT interact with the anomaly physically until it is fully fulfilled!"

Great... Another containment breach, coming from an unexpected anomaly, a dude who just eats, eats and feasts... SCP-106 decides to commit some tomfoolery, as he does not follow whatever rules the higher ups set for him. He easily passes through the walls, jumps to the floor and makes his way up the stairs of his containment. He started to melt everything with his liquid, step by step, it all went away with his touch.

He walks down the foundation's hallways, people take notice of him. The same man in the intercom starts to blare again, it just made SCP-106 laugh.

"These big pussies can't handle shit... Now where's that guy..."

SCP-106 kept walking down the hallways, on the search of SCP-913. Meanwhile, SCP-913 was munching down entire tables in the cafeteria, straight up plastic and metal. It was fascinating and terrifying. Personnel and others in there started to run away from there, they didn't want to be eaten too after all, yet some unfortunate souls were too late. SCP-913 had a blank face the whole time, yet maniac eyes were apparent.

The screams of the personnel were enough to attract SCP-106 to the scene. He walked through a wall, right behind a shotgun-armed man, who screeched like a little girl when he realized what was behind him. SCP-106 laughed sadistically, and came in the room, leaving a corrosive mark in the wall. Although he could, he did not harm anyone, he was focused on the man who ate another table.

"Well, well, well... What do we have here? A hungry caterpillar?" SCP-106 asked the man, 10 feet away from him.

"SCP-106, do not approach the anomaly in front of you!" The man in the intercom spoke again.

"Wow, you think im a scaredy kitten? You think I, SCP-106, AM SCARED, OF A MAN-EATING MA—"

Before SCP-106 could finish his sentence, SCP-913 grabbed his hand and bit his finger. He was not affected by the corrosive liquid, shockingly enough, but the bite hurt a lot.

"OWW! What the hell, man?!" SCP-106 steps away, his fingers quickly regenerating. "Who do you think you are?!"

SCP-913 started munching on the fingers... But, suddenly, he looked up at SCP-106, with rather shocked eyes.

"...You taste so... Familiar..." SCP-913 says. "...Sandwiches..."

"What... What is that even supposed to mean, you fuckin' lunatic?!" SCP-106 was not amused.

"...You..." SCP-913's eyes suddenly became wide, his blank face became a mouth drop, a bit of corrosive liquid comes out of his mouth. It seemed like the effects of the liquid were acting, which made SCP-106 laugh for a second, but that wasn't the case.

"...L-... Lawrence?" SCP-913 blurts out in a moment of shock. SCP-106's eyebrows go up, in confusion.

"...How the hell do you know my name?!" SCP-106, now Lawrence, is now exasperated. This interaction was getting into his nerves.

SCP-913 suddenly holds Lawrence's face. "Larry... Larry it's you..?"

Lawrence, now Larry, was more confused, even if things were becoming clearer. "How... How do you know my nickname?! Only my partner called me... Huh..?!"

Larry slowly started to realize what was going on, but refused to believe it. "You... No. No, this can't be..."

"Larry, please... It's me..." SCP-913's hunger frenzy was now gone, replaced by held back tears and shocked feelings. "Oh my God, you're alive... You're alive, you bastard... I missed you so damn much..." SCP-913 touched Larry's face all over, to see if it wasn't all just too good to be true.

Larry just fell into his touches, he was also in shock. The sadistic anomaly suddenly fell into tears, and hugged the other anomaly. Personnel around them just watched in shock, a scene that's never been seen, a dangerous yet emotional re-encounter. The two broke the hug after what seemed like eternity, and just stared at each other.

"...I can't believe you survived for this long, you bastard... I craved you for so long..." Said SCP-913 smiling and wiping away his tears.

"I can't believe either, you even kept your old, weird eating sprees..." SCP-106 laughs, and so does SCP-913. "Shut up... Shut up..."

SCP-106 and SCP-913 walk out the cafeteria together, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders, laughing and eventually, kissing one more time after so long.

The man in the intercom speaks again, sounding like he's holding back tears. "SCP-106 and SCP-913... Have been successfully bonded and contained once again..." He said.

The End

[wish-i-were-heather]

okokok watch me get delusional for a second.

so im in leadership right and thats one of the ONLY TWO classes i have with my crush (who we need a good name for thats not yumalicious *looks at may*). and we're in the same committee, im a committee leader, and each friday our committee holds activites during lunch to promote school spirit or whatever. and today i was telling him my plan for how we were gonna do it (trying not to stutter because when im talking HE HAS TO LOOK AT ME and i almost died) and while i was explaining i pointed at something. and he didnt really understand so i tried to explain but he didnt get it so i had to go and point specifically at something and to reach it i had to step RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM and i was very close and i was honestly kinda scared because he was right there and i had his full attention and i was almost dying actually.

also we'd gone back to talk to one of my friends and she was doing something for another class and we ended up kinda just standing there next to each other watching her? like he and i were back there talking to her and then we stop talking and we're just standing there watching her and we were once again very close and i was like aughfjisksgfsdgaweyreuiokjnhbgvfds (in a good way). but even she said afterwards that it'd been kinda random to just stand there bc no one was talking at that point.

ALSO YESTERDAY it was the end of english and everyone was packing up and he is walking past me to get to his seat and he randomly says one of the book characters last names. just like blurts it. and i started a conversation from there like "oh how do you pronounce it" because as a class we hadn't been able to decide. and we started talking about that. but idk just the fact that he was walking to his desk and paused, then randomly saying that.

but also like i said my friend saw him taking an am i gay test. but he also gets teased for being gay by his friends (all guys at my school do istg) so i think one of them told him to bc they were doing it with him. hes also said he isnt so idk. but until i have reason not to this boy is my current obsession 😋😋

[evilwickedme]

You seemed sad that nobody's asked for jayroy fic recs. I want jayroy fics! I am a simple creecher with simple needs.

God what a mood tho. ngl I'm obsessed with these two

I've already recommended some of my favs in previous posts! here and here for your enjoyment

anyway here we go

ace-spectrum!Jason

one of my favorite hc and with a lot of support from the text imho; I have more of these these are just my favs

Kiss Me, Kill Me, Take Me Home - 5+1 times somebody kissed Jason, ace!Jason

Jane Austen Never Said Anything About Speed Dating - this one's pretty long. an au where Jason never died and is dealing with trauma from an abusive ex. again, outright ace!Jason and his ex absolutely raped him, so dark subject matter but it's still so good. Jason's brothers try to get him back in the game after the breakup and he ends up running into Roy at speed dating; they decide to fake date to get both their families off their backs. some nice Lian stuff here too.

Between These Pages (Is a Wonderful Place To Be) - ace!Jason gets extremely injured and Roy reads to him, cute little oneshot

(can you feel) the fire burning through your veins - nothing wrong with a little bit of self promo, right? this is demi!gay!Jason figuring his identity out and navigating his changing relationship with Roy. it takes place in a slightly alternate timeline where he's been to therapy for a couple of years and he never slept with Talia so it's his first time with pretty much everything. there actually is smut but it's Jason's first time :D

there is sex in this

I’ve Got the Feeling You’re the Right Thing After All - more poisonivory??? yes please!!! Roy's has had feelings for Dick since their teen titans days, but still ends up in a fwb with Jason when he's asked to help Jason run the iceberg lounge... somewhat plotty, smut in basically every chapter, so fucking good

Let me shipwreck in your thighs - we all have a thing for Jason's thighs, lbr

Arrows and Bullets - a two fic series. injured Jason falls into Roy's apartment and stays there until he heals. once again, some quality Lian stuff here. the sequel fic has some minor Jason-comes-back-home and surrounds christmas.

Boys Don't Cry - trans!Jason. I think this does have a minor plot?? I can't remember it's basically just fifty thousand words of marathon sex over the course of like at least a week

there's a middle ground between ace and outright smut actually

Some Kind of Disaster - this is actually one of my favorites and I've reread the whole thing more than once even though it's a mildly long series (although tbf I've reread longer). instead of outright dying at sanctuary Roy is just grievously injured and Jason runs to his side the moment he hears and refuses to leave. there's a lot of angst. one of the fics is smutty; halfway through the series Roy discovers Lian exists and that's where the plot really kicks in. so good

The Midnight Snow - Robin!Jason is in a time loop and Roy gets trapped in there with him

Flowers Are My Love Language - Jason keeps trying to get Roy to date him using flowers, and Roy simply refuses to get the message

Around Red Hood's Barn - Neighbors au where Roy and Jason are still partners as vigilantes, Roy just doesn't know Red Hood's identity, and Roy CANNOT STAND his new neighbor Jason. I love me some good identity shenanigans in a superhero fic

Magnet Tar Pit Trap - I already linked one cowboy au in the first fic rec (linked above), why not one more

other

remember how canonically Roy died in Heroes in Crisis? ow. I actually already rec'd my favorite one of these in the first Jason fic rec (linked! above!) so check that one out too

It is only, and all about Roy - I actually really regretted not putting this in the original fic rec (again, linked above). Jason shows up in Star City and ends up collaborating with Oliver. JayRoy is only implied but either way Jason is clearly deeply grieving Roy's death and so is Ollie

Please, come back - JayRoy were together before sanctuary and Jason grieves his death deeply. happy ending tho!

anyway yeah that's some good fics believe me when I say I could've rec'd twice as many honestly. unfortunately I had to stop somewhere so that's it for now

[smilingformoney]

✨Trivia time✨

Just for fun here are some fun facts about plotlines, both abandoned ones and ones that made it in

Plotlines that have always been in my head since Abbie popped into existence in my head 12 years ago

Abbie is Snape’s Gryffindor daughter in the same year as Harry who is friends with Draco

Snape doesn’t know about Abbie until she starts Hogwarts

Her name has always been Abbie/Abigail

She gets attacked by Lucius at the Department of Mysteries, though this was going to be for different reasons and in a slightly different way

Plotlines that were rotating in my head 12 years ago but never came to be because either they didn’t fit the story anymore or they were just stupid

Abbie’s mother was called Suzie/Suzanne and she was a one-night stand

Abbie had a muggle step-father

Suzie’s father was Tom Riddle, making Abbie a parselmouth

Suzie’s mother was also a one-night stand and Tom/Voldy didn’t know about her

This one’s a doozy: After Snape died, Abbie found the only way to save him was to go back in time. But she couldn’t go back in time but she did discover that time is cyclical so she became immortal and lived so long that the universe died and reformed around her. By the time she came back around again, she was trillions of years old and basically a god. But her memory was still human, so she could only remember a few hundred years at a time, meaning she’d forgotten all about her father and was doomed to live an eternal cycle, knowing there was something she was meant to do, some purpose to her immortality, but she’d forgotten it long ago. (Copyright me if I ever take this and turn it into some actual fantasy story)

Plotlines that I thought of while writing and/or initially intended to include before I started but they didn’t come to be

Abbie dies after saving Snape (might do an AU oneshot of this one day if I feel like breaking everyone’s hearts)

Abbie and Draco were going to be romantic until I realised she was gay

Sephy finds out she’s the product of Abraxas Malfoy’s affair with a muggle servant. Might also write an AU of this eventually. Canned because it felt too Eastenders-y + it would have made Abbie and Draco cousins (not that purebloods care about that) + I prefer Sephy coming from nowhere

Post war, James and Lily come back to life. Purely based on my desire to rub Sev and Sephy’s relationship in their faces, however I hate the Somehow Palpatine Returned trope and believe the moment death becomes impermanent in a story it loses all meaning (*stares hard at Supernatural and Moffat-era Doctor Who*) so in the bin it goes

I considered how far Abbie and Draco’s fake relationship was going to go and even considered them having to consummate and her getting pregnant but I decided not to go that far because I didn’t feel comfortable writing either Abbie or Draco in that position

Plotlines that weren’t my intention going in but happened because the story has a will of its own and I am but its teller

Abbie being gay

Abbie and Neville being besties

The arranged marriage

Snape and Sephy’s whole romance

Abbie and Snape’s kind of unhealthily codependent relationship. Originally he was going to be cold and distant like we see in earlier chapters for pretty much the entire time and he wasn’t going to admit he loved her until he was dying.

(Basically, I vastly underestimated Snape’s ability to love them)

Plotlines I regret/could have done better

Persephone and the dark magic book, I feel I should have done it better and built up to it more and had the consequences last longer

Teen Sev and Sephy by the lake, I should have just had them kissing or something. My horny mind made them shag but I should have kept their original virginity stories intact.

[she-karev]

Girl’s Night In (April Kepner x Alex Karev’s Sister Friendship Imagine)

Previous Part Here

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: Four of Five

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Summary: Amber and April get drunk and have the time of their lives.

Words: 1670

Chapters Links: 1,2,3,4,5

March 25th, 2020

Amber throws back the 15th shot of tequila and relishes the burn down her throat across from April who cheers for her. Amber’s newly dyed dark brown hair is up in pigtails while April’s red hair is up in a very messy bun.

They are both in their pajamas sitting on the floor of the living room while Paranormal Activity plays on the tv that they don’t even watch. Instead, they spend the night drinking and throwing popcorn up in the air so they can catch it with their mouths.

“Okay my turn!” April pours herself a shot before downing it and tries to do it bare but relents and sucks on a lime wedge causing Amber to cackle.

“Wimp!”

“Shut up you’re a jerk!”

Amber laughs, “Jerk? Nice insult Hannah Montana, you got anymore harsh digs?”

April gasps, “I know that movie! It’s the one w-w-with that really pretty girl with the big boobs and nice legs. She was a real fox.” She claps her hands, “Megan Fox! Megan Fox is a fox.”

Amber laughs out loud with April, “I used to have dreams of kissing her and making her gay for me. I mean look at me.” April looks up and down at Amber, “Would you be gay for me? I mean your straight and a bible thumper so would you be all up on this after a lot of drinks?”

April throws back another shot, “Absolutely! I mean you’re a total smoke house.” April cackles, “Smoke show, you’re a smoke show. My point is you are so hot it makes me hate you.”

Amber throws back a shot, “I get that a lot, it’s probably why so many of my bicurious one-night stands in college didn’t call me back. Or did I not call them back?”

“I don’t know. Would you want to sleep with me if I was a bicurious college girl? You can be honest.”

Amber thinks for a moment, “I mean you’re pretty and fun after a few shots I would take you back to my dorm and put your sock on the door.”

“That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.” April sighs, “It has been so long since I’ve had this much fun like sooo long. I mean I know I did this with the interns a few years ago but that was when I was going through a crisis, it didn’t count. I never really let loose and just drank tequila until I die not since I had Harriet. I mean I love her I do but she’s not someone I can drink and have fun with.”

“You can but I’d call child services if you did.” Amber eats popcorn, “I’ve decided I am going celibate! I think I’m gonna join the nunnery.”

April spits out her water that she’s sipping and laughs like she’s gonna pee her pants after hearing Amber’s proclamation. Amber simply sips her whiskey while April keeps laughing before the red head calms down and speaks to Amber with a wide smile.

“You would make the worst nun in the history of worst nuns!” Amber scoffs outrageously, “Name one commandment in the bible.”

“Thou shalt not kill!”

“Name another one.” Amber tries to remember but she’s left empty causing April to laugh, “You see! You would be the first violent, queer, non-religious nun and I say this with love, but you would never make it past your postulancy.”

Amber narrows her eyes, “My what?”

“Exactly!” April points out while sipping a wine cooler, “I love these wine coolers their so sweet and they make me feel light.”

Amber rolls her eyes before shooting down more tequila straight from the bottle, “What is going on with you and your ex? I mean you two are hot, you have a kid, you already had sex when you were divorced what is taking both of you so fucking long?”

“I’m about to be divorced again.” Amber groans at that, “And we’re in a pandemic so we’d have to get tested and it takes a long time to quarantine. Plus, I love him he’s my first everything, but I don’t know if I’m still in love with him, do you know what I mean?”

Amber’s look turns somber, “I don’t know what love is anymore.”

April whimpers at that pulling out the kale chips in front of Amber, “Have you eaten anything today?”

“No, I’m full…of rage!” April is taken back by the sudden angry outburst but says nothing while Amber sips her whiskey. She turns somber again and turns to April with tears in her eyes, “Two years!”

April rubs Amber’s back as she breaks down, “I gave that boy two years of love and how does he repay me April?!”

“By kicking you out.”

“By kicking me out!” Amber swigs the tequila bottle, “I wish I could take back the last few years of my life and just throw them in the garbage like Andrew threw me out like garbage. The son of a bitch doesn’t deserve me! He can take his apology and shove it where the sun don’t shine.”

April sips her wine cooler, “Good for you, you are every mans dream and so am I dammit! I mean I am a hot, kickass trauma surgeon and my ex-husbands couldn’t handle it that’s why they left me! Because they couldn’t handle April Kepner!”

Amber eats her popcorn, “And a whole lot of other miscommunications that you could have easily avoided if any one of you was a grown up.”

“That too.” April admits with another sip, “Do you think you and Andrew would still be together if it wasn’t for the mania?”

Amber groans but thinks for a few moments before answering, “Probably not.”

April looks at her confused, “What do you mean probably not? I mean the mania is pretty much the main reason your alone and sad so why else would you and DeLuca have broken up?”

“I suck at relationships.” Amber bluntly states, “I should have been a guy.”

“No, a guy wouldn’t know if he sucked at relationships or not.”

Amber snickers, “No the problem is that whenever I get close to a storybook ending some force bigger than me says ‘oh Amber Karev is about to be happy, better get her.’ So…I think it’s pretty clear I am meant to die alone with a swarm of crying exes at my funeral telling everyone what a good lay I was. At least that’s the nice version of my ending.”

April looks at Amber in sympathy, “That is the saddest thing I’ve heard. And I’ve been divorced twice.”

“Mmm so what? Everybody gets divorced at some point in their life. And it could be worse for you. Hell, it could be worse for me. We could be like Owen Hunt right now.”

April is close to falling asleep but fights it to get more information, “What happened to Hunt?”

“Oh, you don’t know?” April shakes her head, “His fiancé Teddy Altman butt dialed him in the OR while she was getting busy with Tom Koracick.”

April is suddenly awake, and her eyes are wide with shock. She takes a moment before needing clarification, “And when you say busy you mean…?”

“Like how I got busy with DeLuca, and you got busy with Jackson.” Amber eats a kale chip.

“And when you said in the OR you mean?”

“He had his hands inside a patient while Schmitt played the message that would put Belladonna to shame.”

April groans at that, “Poor Owen god I can’t imagine that. And you were right that is worse than what we went through with our spectacular breakups.”

“At least his misery is good for making us feel less horrible.”

“…Koracick?” April asks and Amber nods, “Well at least Altman got some crazy hot, toe curling, out of body, back into body.”

Amber narrows her eyes at April’s descriptive detail of Tom Koracick’s skills in bed, “Angel singing hallelujah, bliss before her life blew up.”

“Wait, wait hold up.” Amber asks unable to comprehend, “You and Tom Koracick?”

April sighs and sips her wine cooler in shameful silence that is confirmation for the laughing Amber, “Oh my god! How did that happen?!”

April groans, “It was two years ago, I was going through a crisis of faith and just being a dick in general.” Amber nods remembering, “I was at a house party Koracick was there and then…I woke up the next morning and he was wearing my pink silk robe in my house.”

Amber cackles at the image causing April to glare at her, “Okay aside from sleeping with someone else’s fiancé in front of everyone Koracick is decent. He helped me during a hard time in my life.”

“I bet he did.” Amber retorts with a mischievous smile that causes April to stop with a grin, “But still I’ll take Tom Koracick as a shameful sex spiral over Vikram Roy.”

April groans at that reminder covering her face in shame, “Don’t remind me I am already beating myself up enough for stooping so low as to go home with a doucebag.”

“You’re preaching to the choir honey.” Amber comforts April who appreciates it. They clink their tequila bottle and wine cooler in solidarity, “But seriously you should get yourself checked for rabies because Koracick and Roy are worlds apart but they’re both still horndogs.”

April chuckles, “Oh shut up! You know you’re so pretty.”

Amber is taken back by the slurred compliment from April who is getting more drunk as they speak, “You are, you’re really pretty. You’re like a Disney princess except your mean a-a-and you don’t wear a really poofy dress and you don’t sing girly songs all the time.”

Amber looks at April blankly for a few moments before she bursts out laughing like a hyena and April joins in too. They sit on the floor of the living room laughing and forgetting about their troubles even for a short while.

Next Part Here

[positivelybeastly]

Are we 100% it was actually X-Force’s beast that gave his life for Simon and not Defenders Hank? Maybe the evil one decided to cut his losses and fuck off to bang a d list actor bc making another black hole gun at this point would be the definition of overkill and surely he had no better ideas if that was plan A.

"There's a quote, that I think you will find apropos.

'There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.'"

"I appreciate, greatly, that I have filled you with such fear that my spectre lies, half-asleep, in your mind now. You wonder. You guess. You second guess. You think, is he still there? Is he around the corner? Is he still among us?"

He grins.

"I'm proud to be the monster that warrants your fear."

I feel like there's half a second where they kind of set up a potential switcheroo when evil Beast breaks normal Hank's glasses, but none of the other contextual clues really line up to make it make sense. In order for X-Force Beast to have made it out alive, in the time before Logan arrived, he would have had to:

Work out the plan with good Hank in between panels.

Dust off his acting chops, which are notoriously rusty (seriously, X-Force Beast is a bad actor).

Take off his Krakoan war suit, teach good Hank how to fly it properly, and give it to him.

Get embroiled in the fight with good Hank to make it look good for Logan.

Be okay with the younger, more idealistic version of himself, that he explicitly calls his favourite, that he likens to a treasured photo album he couldn't stand to watch burn, dying to save him.

Pass a telepathic litmus test with Kid Omega breathing down his mind.

Fool Logan's senses, who would probably notice that evil Beast doesn't smell like clone juice or like Simon like he should, considering he's been hanging around him for at least a day by this point.

Commit to being a good guy around Simon until he can get away.

Like, there's just too much here. That's so many steps. And god knows X-Force are incompetent enough that he could maybe pass the telepathic litmus test somehow, but . . . nah.

Also, while good Hank is obviously very willing to try and save his evil self, he's also actively interested in his own self-preservation, given his conversation in X-Force #49 about proving himself as an ally, and I don't see him staking that continued existence on a quantifiable madman. It just doesn't really make sense.

I also don't see the point in it, narratively speaking. If this was X-Force #20 and we weren't dragging over the finish line like racehorses with gunshots in our knees, maybe, because that's a plot thread that can at least go somewhere, but this is the final issue. Percy's done.

MacKay is Hank's next shepherd, so anything set up here would be at his request. Maybe MacKay would want to keep OG Hank so he can do a redemption arc, but . . . that's a reach. That's a Reed Richard style reach.

Also, maybe this is dumb, but I don't think, even as part of a deception to save his older self and Simon, that good Hank would have it in himself to call Simon a fool.

In the end, this kind of thinking, it's just . . . I think we're kinda reaching to find some kind of cleverness in a Ben Percy comic book, and I . . . think that's, ultimately, a bad idea. Because you won't find it. He plainly either doesn't give a fuck or is so self-deluded about what he's putting out that he thinks this is what passes for clever.

Let's not give the man credit. He wrote this, and it's exactly what it looks like - shoddy, ill-conceived, incredibly rushed for a nearly 100 issue plus finale, badly characterised, barely in continuity, and as lazy as the rest of his writing has been.

Plus, do we really want to rob ourselves of domestic gay boy good lad Hank McCoy and his boyfriend Simon Williams . . ?

Like, evil Beast and Simon is probably a funny sitcom pilot, like Heil Honey, I'm Home, but we know what we want, and it's 80s Hank and Simon curled up on the couch, with Simon doing for Hank what Hank did for Simon did all those years ago - getting him caught up on all the culture gaps in his knowledge.

That's right. It's time for Simon to get to catch Hank up on all the Star Trek that came out since his Cerebro back-up was made!

[a-rogue-god]

I'm gay as hell boy look at my writing that I'm deciding I'm confident enough to post

Old writing I did of the knight and me bye

"I don't deserve someone like you," Frank murmurs under his breath when Mys turns away and he knows it can't hear. It's just audible enough, spoken with the half-hope that one of these days, it might really hear him.

He wishes he wasn't such a coward.

The fingers of his left hand grip the frame of the window, other hand outstretched to rest against the cool glass, looking out into the garden.

The universe doesn't make bargains. Frank knows this, but, perhaps, it's made an exception for the man who has suffered so much. Perhaps, after all this time, it's given him Mys.

He almost says it, right there. Mys's eyes shimmer in the light of the mid day. It's look of excitement melting into utter adoration caused him to temporarily forget his surroundings. He saw Mys's love of being with him and its complete trust.

Oh. My Mys. You are just... good.

Frank feels his feet carrying him deep into the corridors of his home, trying to get away, trying to erase that beautiful image of Mys from his mind, as quickly as possible. This can never work, will never work. He is not worthy of... this. Of Mys.

Coward.

-

Sometimes Frank would join Mys and sit with it anywhere it wanted to be. It was a perfect day for a date.

Mys sat, stirring its drink it had with a straw and talked, while Frank absently admired the blue of its irises. It has such beautiful warm eyes, he thinks. They're windows to its soul of good.

His own eyes soften, feeling a warmth inside of him twist and grow into something he hasn't felt in a long time.

_

I would do anything for you, he suddenly thinks, watching the breeze ruffle Mys's hair and frame its face. A few dyed black-fading to blond strands here and there have come loose from its flower crown, woven from pink blooms dotting the meadow they were reclining in.

Mys turns its head and catches Frank staring. It smiles, and it warms every part of him.

"What?" Mys laughs absently, the corners of its eyes crinkling distractingly.

"Er... those flowers are very lovely."

"Are they?"

"They are."

Mys's eyes gleamed with mischief. Fingers shuffling through the pile of stems and petals on the blanket beneath them, taking a handful of flora and reached toward the top of his head. Frank grumbles loudly when it began weaving the flowers into a crown, tucking a few into his hair, but quiets when he sees that smile again. Eventually, gradually, he lies back, his head on Mys's thigh, uneasily letting himself relax against the sensation of its hands on his scalp, working with the flowers. He didn't think he'd ever feel something like its fingers on him.

Yes, absolutely anything for you, he reflects.

-

I appreciate you more than you can know, he wishes he could tell it.

He's alone, as usual, when he feels a presence. Mys's presence. It's hard to miss.

His blue eyes drag up to his surroundings. He reflects. How many times, over how many years did he use to stand in this exact spot, in silence, never being able to connect emotionally with someone. Something he had never thought or cared about.

And now he has Mys?

Mys's fingers glide over the skin of Frank's arm, hooking its arm in his. The weight of its head finds his shoulder and Mys pulls him close to itself.

The arm is nice, Frank thinks. Not quite a hug, but Mys still got to touch him in a vague sort of way. Lately that's made him feel quite nice. A lot of things about Mys made him feel nice. Most physical touch used to be a sensation distasteful to his body. Until Mys.

It pulled away after only a few fleeting seconds. No... a sound of protest is ready to slip off his tongue, but he bites it back. His eyes followed its retreating figure, pleading, stay. And that shocks him.

What is this? Furrowing eyebrows, he's angry. With himself. With the emotions he struggles with more and more every time Mys put its hands on him. With its touch he now quietly craves. He shuts his eyes, letting any more selfish thoughts dissipate.

Well, turns out the D-Day Knight likes being selfish.

_

When he takes the time to sleep, he dreamt Mys kissed him. Or he kissed Mys. His head's a bit too muddled when he woke up to tell for sure, recollecting scraps of images of Mys's hands clutching his clothing and Frank's breathy name on its lips.

It's only when he finds himself staring into a mirror does he let those images fade. He meets the weary eyes in the mirror, pointing a shaking, accusatory finger at the haggard reflection.

"You are not in love with Mys."

Any more sleep would be impossible, so he makes his way from the mirror and into the depths of his home. The more time he spends looking around at the lonesome emptiness, filled with music biz paraphenalia and things he had taken from the shores of Normandy as keepsakes, once thought would make him feel whole, the more he finds himself thinking of someone he loves.

Mys doesn't deserve this selfishness. I can't be selfish, he decides with one last glance around the room before exiting.

-

Mys's phone rings. Something stirs to life inside of him, something he doesn't want to admit he's succumbed to.

Jealousy.

Being with Mys a lot results in Mys from time to time meeting with old friends, spending time with them while leaving Frank to his own devices.

He ponders for a moment the idea of throwing his fist against the jaw of the foolish person who had garnered so much of its attention, before dismissing the toxic thought. They are friends, he knows this, and he is definitely. not. selfish. Not one bit.

He flicks his eyes down and away from it, stepping some distance away to let Mys take its call in semi-privacy.

It answered the phone. Hearing the chipper drawl of hiiiii to a male friend makes his throat tighten, an oozing feeling of hatred and dread spreading through his chest.

There's some silence.

"Yep. Mission accomplished."

Another pause.

"Listen, I can't talk now but I'll see you soon."

He's good at tuning out conversation, but Mys's melodic voice makes its way through the barrier. God, he loves it so much.

"...I love you."

Silence.

He waits for the final goodbye, so he knows it safe to come out from his temporary hiding place. It never comes, so he looks up at Mys anyway.

Frank sees it afraid but determined, as if it knew what it just said is the ultimate truth.

"I love you," Mys repeated. It was looking right at him.

No. This is cruel. This is not happening. Every muscle in his arms tense and his knuckles are white, clenched tightly. He's angry.

"You don't mean that," he says quietly, but it's a dangerous calm.

"Frank-" it started.

"No!" He cut it off and held out one finger, suddenly infuriated. "You don't get to do this. You don't get to play this game with me. Don't you play games with me."

Mys's heart sank, seeing the geyser of self-loathing and hatred beginning to erupt from the man who, after all he had done, still truly believed he was undeserving of it.

Mys laughed lightly, amid tears. "I'm not going to deny it. It's true. Whether you choose to believe it or not, I do love-"

"No. You don't." His voice is wavering now, holding back rage. "You know what this is?" He gestured to his body up and down. "This is not love. This is, that, that... vague need for companionship you crave above all else."

When he met Mys's eyes, they're pleading. Containing immeasurable sorrow. And loneliness. That cuts him right to his core.

He tried to justify himself.

"I am horrid, I am a monster. You cannot love me."

"No. I love you." Mys put its foot down. "And do you know why, Frank? You are just so... Wonderful, and I know you're going to tell me to... stay away, run, there are too many indescribable, horrible things that I've done and that are inside me that have tainted me forever, poisoned my soul, and I need you to know that, yes, I understand you did them but it doesn't matter to me one bit because I forgive you. And I love you... so much because I just do. You are a hero so I really don't see how that matters at all."

Mys stepped closer, standing on its toes to put its arms up around Frank, hugging him, and is wonderfully surprised to feel Frank press and lean against it.

"You are the most... wonderful hero I've ever met. And you will always have me." Mys was not sure, but it thought Frank might have been trembling.

A surge of affection washes over Mys and it pulled its arms around Frank tighter. It turned its head to kiss his cheek, keeping its lips pressed there a moment. "My knight... What can I do to convince you I love you as you?"

Frank closed his eyes against the sensation, wondering how it would feel to be selfish. Just this once. Indulge. "You deserve better than me," he chokes out, his last inkling of restraint dissolving, hands carefully moving to hold its waist.

"You, you wonderful knight, are exactly who I deserve." Mys whispered, before kissing Frank's lips.

[aftgsucks]

NMFTG 19

Mr and Mrs Hemmick Cause a Scene

ao3: chapter below the cut

Neil was being subjected to some movie called “Austin Powers,” when Nicky flung open the door in theatrical despair. He immediately made for Neil with a wild look in his eyes. 

“Help, please, help.” Nicky begged. “I’m gonna die.” 

Neil was standing halfway across the room before he could think. “What happened?” he asked. 

“Mom just called to wish Andrew and Aaron a happy birthday,” Nicky answered. 

Neil tried to gauge how actually serious this was. 

“And that’s a bad thing?” Matt asked. 

“Oh, Boyd look at him, I’ve only ever seen Hemmick quake like this when his cousin’s got his knives out.” Seth said, lazily gesturing with the tv remote. 

“They uh, well,” Nicky shifted around, looking down at the sleeves of his sweater. “Dad hasn’t said a word to me since Erik and my mom calls on Christmas to ask if I’ve returned to God and disconnects when I say no.” He never looks this shamed. Not even back when Seth and Aaron were constantly on him about being gay, Nicky never looked like this. “I don’t think Aaron’s spoken to them since Aunt Tilda’s funeral, and Andrew avoids them like they’re a contagious disease. He and dad didn’t hit it off too well when they met at juvie.” 

“It couldn’t have gone that badly,” Matt said. “I mean, your dad supported his early release, right?” 

“Yeah, but-” Nicky started. 

“He ever hit you?” Seth asked, cutting him off, much to Neil and Matt’s surprise. 

“What? No, he just thinks I’m an affront to God and his reputation.” Nicky answered. 

“Hemmick,” Seth groaned. “Fuck your parents, my dad used to regularly beat the shit out of me and he still came to my games until I threatened to call the cops. I’ve never even heard you talk about yours before.” 

“Why did she call, really?” Neil asked, not wanting to go near Seth’s issues with a ten foot exy stick. 

“To invite us home for Thanksgiving dinner.” 

“Absolutely not,” Seth pointed the remote at Nicky. “That reeks of bullshit.” 

“What if she had a change of heart? C’mon Seth, it’s his mom.” Matt argued. 

“What did you tell her?” Neil asked. 

“Nothing! I hung up, she said it was contingent on Aaron and Andrew going too. Mom made that crystal clear and there’s no way Andrew will agree.” 

“You never know until you try,” Matt said, still trying to be supportive. 

“Don’t, dude, take it as a sign or some shit.” Seth said. 

“Wait, why are you here telling us?” Neil asked. Nicky had come in asking for help, what exactly Neil, Matt, and Seth were supposed to do about this was beyond him. 

“You and Seth got Andrew to do Halloween and night practices, just, help? Please?” Nicky begged. 

Neil would like to go one day without getting roped into someone else’s shit. “This is not our business--” he starts to say. 

“Tell them to come here,” is what Seth says over him. Okay, whatever, it can be Seth’s business then. They all look at him. Seth continues, “tell your parents if they want to see the twins they can come to a game. Andrew can duck out on them after but they’ll have come all the way here so you can at least talk to them.” 

It wasn’t a bad plan, per say, although it did rely on the conceit of Andrew not killing Nicky’s parents for whatever it was they did that he hates them for. Arguably it was better for Nicky’s parents to come here where the whole team could keep an eye on them then just Nicky and the cousins going to Columbia, with likely only Kevin for back up. 

If Nicky surprised Andrew with this, though, Andrew would kill his parents and then Neil. Was it time to die? To be done with the tedious march of dying and get it over with? “Don’t surprise Andrew with them. Warn him they're coming, if they say yes.” Neil said, deciding he didn’t want to just be another body in Andrew’s theoretical killing spree. 

“What if they don’t come?” Nicky asked. His voice was still small and uncomfortable. 

“Then they don’t come Hemmick, but you said it yourself Andrew’s never going to agree. Just take it as a dodged bullet, they need to make the effort.” 

Apparently, they agreed to come, at least Nicky was expecting them. The day of the game Nicky didn’t say a word unless prompted to. When Neil was in Millport, Coach Hernadez and the team were constantly bugging Neil about his parents coming to a game. As if it were some big thing. And then Seth too had shared that opinion. Looking at Nicky-- 

Look Neil got it, there was some desperate thing he tried to smother everyday that was still mourning his Mother. Neil knew that if Mary walked in through the stadium doors she’d be doing it to beat Neil’s skull in. But if she were alive to do it-- 

Neil got it. He did. He understood that combination of fear and hope splintered across Nicky’s face. He kept an eye on Nicky the whole game, as every time there was a time out or a reset, Nicky searched the stands and became smaller and smaller. Nicky was a tall guy, he was lanky sure, but built enough to be a backliner on a collegiate exy team. Small was an absurd thing for Nicky to be. But that’s the only word to describe the way all personality just vanished how timid he became as more and more time went by and he didn’t see his parents in the seats he’d set aside for them. 

Neil understood it a little too well, which is why the second the game ended he changed out and rushed for the doors. He wanted to get back to the dorms, he wanted to avoid the walking mirror of his own grief that was sulking in the locker room. 

He’d avoid everyone, if he left right then. He knew that. The other Foxes were gonna take their sweet time and Andrew, who was still recovering from his withdrawals, wouldn’t bother to make them hurry up when his lot had already agreed to stay in Palmetto for the weekend. 

Neil pushed open the door to the parking lot thinking of the field behind the dorms and his half-full pack of cigarettes. And then watched his night go up in flames as he looked at the three people waiting in the parking lot.  

“Hello, young man, you’re with the Foxes right?” A dire looking older man asked. 

Neil studied the trio. The older man and woman were standing close, the woman was a borderline clone of Nicky-- both dressed nice. Very preacher and his wife, Luther and Maria Hemmick were exactly how he pictured, if a bit taller.  

It was the second man that Neil couldn’t place. He bore no resemblance to Nicky or the twins. Not to mention Neil had never heard of any other family member existing. 

“Who’s asking?” Neil asked, shutting the door behind him and listening for the automatic lock. 

“We’re Nichloas’s parents,” Maria said with a soft smile. 

“I’m AJ’s old foster brother,” the second man said, stretching out a hand, “Drake.” 

Neil only recognized one of those words and the last time it was said it had come out of a cop’s mouth, so he just glanced at the offered hand before ignoring it and looking directly into Luther Hemmick’s eyes. 

“You’re too late, they all left for some bar downtown,” he lied. 

Luther narrowed his eyes, “really? Because I can see the boy’s ridiculous car parked right over there and the game only just ended. So, why don’t you go and get Nicky and the boys before we have a problem.” 

He was so authoritative, Luther had all the assurance of someone used to getting their way. 

“I’m surprised you’re so confident about what time the game was, considering how late you got here. They left, maybe go try your luck down by the bars or actually show up on time for your son's game.” 

“You sure can back talk, can’t you?” Drake whistled. 

Neil wanted these people out of his parking lot. He wanted them out of his parking lot more then he wanted to keep out of prison. 

“We know they haven’t left,” Luther said. 

“You should leave.” Neil was done attempting to be slick about this. “Shoo,” he took a page from Andrew’s book and tried to usher them out of the parking lot without giving up his post at the door. 

“We’re not leaving until we see them.” Luther said. 

Neil just crossed his arms and stared at them. Short of beating the shit out of one of them, he didn’t know how to make them leave. He could definitely take Luther and Maria in a fight. But Drake had some muscles on him, was stood in a forced relaxed sort of way that suggested he was both here expecting conflict and knew how to handle it. 

Engaging in a hand to hand with more than one person was always a no-no in Neil’s book. Both by order of his mom and common sense. He didn’t think it was likely that Luther would interfere if he went for Drake first, but Neil also didn’t think he’d win that fight. Which made the whole thing a non starter. 

“So, how was the game?” Drake asked after a long minute of silence.

Neil did not answer. Another minute lapsed before Drake tried again. 

“I’m the reason they were late,” he apologized. “I wanted to surprise AJ, so I called them up. They had to pick me up at the airport. They wanted to be on time but it’s cute that you’re so angry for Nicky.” 

Neil continued to stare. 

“Would it kill you to make conversation?” Luther asked. 

Neil opened his mouth to answer but the door opening cut him off. Neil glanced over his shoulder to see the upperclassmen, Nicky and Aaron, all flood out of the doors around him. Andrew must still be washing down his pills with whiskey. Neil didn’t know if that were a good thing or not. 

“Mom? Dad?” Nicky asked in that quiet way he’d said everything all day. 

“AJ!” Drake cheered, moving forward with his hands outstretched as if to touch Aaron. 

Neil side-stepped between them and pushed Aaron back with his shoulder. There were too many things about this that Neil didn’t know. 

Nicky started to introduce the other’s to his parents, one flitting glance showed his mood hadn’t improved. 

Aaron stepped out from behind Neil and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know you.” Aaron said to Drake. 

“Ah, the twin, Aaron, right?” Drake asked, putting his hand out for a shake. 

Neil shifted in front of Aaron again and took Drake’s hand, grasping as hard as he could. “Neil Josten,” Neil introduced himself. 

“That’s one hell of a grip you got there.” Drake said. 

“I’m sure it is,” here’s what Neil knew: Drake was the name Higgins had said when he came asking Andrew about a case. A case that had to do with children. Drake was the name that had Andrew storming out of the dorms. This case had Andrew pissed enough to break a phone and almost his own hand. 

Neil didn’t know nearly enough, but he did know enough to not let Drake near Aaron. Nel didn’t look back at Aaron, he just let go of Drake’s hand and kept his eyes on him.

“You know,” Drake said after another too long moment of silence. “If you just open that door for me, I’ll go and get AJ myself so we can head to dinner.” He took another step to the side, already going for the door.

“No,” Neil got in his way again. “Aaron will go get everyone. Let’s chat, I’m curious, you know Andrew’s never mentioned you?” 

Aaron left without another word and Neil let himself take a glance at the others-- all preoccupied with the Hemmicks still, although Neil caught Renee in a curious glance at Neil and Drake. 

“Really? I’m surprised, we almost adopted him. Mom was even gonna give him part of my college fund.” 

“Not a word,” Neil answered. “You must not have been that important.” 

The door slammed open before Drake could answer. Everyone jumped at the noise as a grinning Andrew stepped out of the Foxhole Court. Andrew took one look at Drake and then started laughing. Neil grit his teeth at the noise, he had no idea what Andrew was going to do.

There were other people in the parking lot. A few too many stragglers were left still going to their cars for Andrew to commit murder. Neil didn’t know what Drake did, but he figured the Foxes would back Andrew if push came to shrug. Strangers couldn’t be trusted. 

Andrew straightened up and strode forward. 

“AJ,” Drake said, a tense smile on his face. Neil realized he’d probably never seen Andrew on his meds. “Long time no see,” Drake stuck out his hand again, once more trying to get past Neil. 

It wasn’t happening. Neil stepped inbetween the two of them, grabbing Drake’s hand again to use it as a stress ball.

“Neil,” Andrew tried to warn before laughter overtook him again. Neil felt Andrew grab onto the back of his shirt. 

“What’s so funny?” Drake asked. 

Neil dug his nails into the back of his hand a little before he dropped it. Neil could tell Drake was unsettled, he’d been tense before standing beside Mr and Mrs Upright and Holy. Maria had told Nicky to bring the twins for Thanksgiving to their house in Columbia. A private residence an hour away from everyone. Now, they were in public with the entire team plus bystanders. Whatever the plan had been had gone to shit the second Nicky had listened to Seth. 

Neil didn’t smile much, but this felt like a special occasion, besides the grin that creeped up onto Neil’s face wasn’t his own. “I think you getting all the way to South Carolina when you’re wanted by the police in California is a little funny. Don’t you?” 

“Excuse me?” Drake floundered. 

Andrew’s laughing got louder. The door opened again and out came Aaron, Kevin, Wymack and Abby. Everyone was finally in the parking lot, they were a full circus. Nicky drowning as his parents made small talk with the upperclassmen. Andrew in hysterics as Neil tried to figure out how to get Drake to leave before Andrew caught his breath and stabbed someone. 

“Hey Coach,” Neil called, “you gotta come meet this clown.” 

“Josten, what in the fuck is going on?” Coach asked as he made a beeline directly for them, Aaron and Kevin at either side. 

“I don’t know what AJ told you, but it’s all a misunderstanding.” Drake tried. 

Andrew’s laughter cut off and he tugged on the back of Neil’s shirt. 

“Too many witnesses,” Neil murmured. 

Andrew stepped around Neil without a word, Neil let him. 

“What is this? Some ploy to get Higgins to drop the case? Did some little birdy make a call?” Andrew asked, he hadn’t drawn a knife yet but he might as well have. All conversation stopped the second Andrew started talking, all eyes on him. 

“Now, Andrew--” Luther started. 

“No, you don’t get to talk. Not after you brought him here. Around Nicky? Aaron? After all I did to make sure they never met.” Andrew didn’t look away from Drake. “You said you would talk to Cass, Luther, you said there would be no more kids in that house.” Andrew started laughing again. 

Drake opened his mouth as if to speak and Andrew hit him before he could get a word out. Drake only barely managed to stay standing, but when Andrew hit him again he hit the floor. 

Coach pulled Andrew back before he could in a third swing, But Neil figures the third probably would have knocked Drake out cold. 

“What the hell is going on?!” Coach yelled. 

“He’s wanted by the state of California for hurting children,” Neil pointed out. . 

“Those charges--” Luther starts. 

“I’ll hit you next,” Andrew promised and Luther shut his mouth. 

Drake managed to pull himself up off the ground, a smart man would have left then, after getting knocked on his ass in a parking lot full of athletes and witnesses. But Drake lunged for Andrew, who was still being held back by Wymack, instead. 

Neil shoved Drake back before he could reach Andrew. Drake cursed and swung at Neil, a little too fast for Neil to dodge. Neil took the hit, he could, Neil was built for taking hits. Neil drove his fist into Drake’s stomach and then made a tactical retreat. 

“Back the fuck up,” Neil said, still smiling, tasting blood in his teeth. 

Drake lurched but then visibly noticed how everyone had gotten closer. This wasn’t a one on one fight, it was ten on one, twelve if Wymack let go of that vice grip on Andrew’s arm. 

“You--” Nicky was the first to speak. His eyes glassy and his breath quick. “This man hurt Andrew and you knew?” He asked Luther without looking at him.

“I’m going to have to ask the three of you to leave before I have to call security, I don’t appreciate you coming here and harassing my players.” 

“We were invited?” Maria tried to argue. 

“Aw, Drake,” Andrew giggled. “Was this worth breaking your bail? You know crossing state lines is a felony, not that that is anything new.” 

“Dan has Higgin’s number,” Neil added, and then looking at Luther and Maria, “aiding and abetting? I wonder what your church will think?” 

Dan pulled out her phone.

The three of them scrambled off to their car. Only after the Hemmick’s car had pulled out of the parking lot did Wymack let go of a laughing Andrew. 

“Neil, your face,” Abby worried when Neil turned around. 

“It’s just a split lip, I’m fine.” 

“Who was that?” Aaron asked. “What the fuck just happened?” 

Andrew was still laughing too hard to answer, he flapped a hand at Neil. As if Neil would be able to answer anything. 

“Oh, I’ve got no fucking idea who that was,” Neil argued. “We should go back to the dorms.” It was less likely Drake or Luther knew where Abby lived, but there were more locks between the outside world and any of their dorms. Also it was closer. 

“What did that guy even do?” Allison asked. 

“Drake likes little kids,” Andrew answered between laughs. “He was my foster brother before I went to juvie.” 

“You knew about this Josten?” Aaron asked. 

“No,” Neil spit blood out of his mouth. “I made an educated guess. Dorms, let’s go, we need to hunker down and call Higgins.” 

“Talk about a fucking guess!” Seth exclaimed. 

“This whole thing was just--” Nicky’s voice hitched. “They knew?” 

“Shhhh, of course they knew,” Andrew said, “let’s go before Nicky starts crying. Neil can drive.” Andrew pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and threw them at Neil. 

“Dan give me the number,” Wymack said, holding out his hand. “Abby’ll grab the first aid kit and we’ll meet you all over there.” 

“I’m fine,” Neil said again, spitting out more blood and unlocking the cousin’s car. 

They all managed to get to the dorms without a major incident, although Nicky did in fact cry the entire five minute drive. Dan, Wymack, and Abby would get there soon enough, but everyone else pulled into the parking lot at the same time.

“You drive exactly the speed limit,” Andrew noted as they all got out of the car. 

“Can I talk to you for a second?” Neil asked. 

“One.” Andrew said, heading inside.

“Andrew--” Aaron started as they went after him.

“I do not want to talk to any of you.” 

“Andrew plea-” Neil started. 

“I do not like that word.” Andrew jammed his thumb into the elevator call. 

Neil blanched as it occurred to him why that might be. 

Andrew seemed to think better of waiting for the elevator and went directly to the emergency staircase. “Don’t follow me,” he said. 

“Just wait a second,” Neil tried again, coming to stand just in front of where Andrew already had the stairwell door open.

The elevator arrived and the upperclassmen got on, but Aaron, Nicky and Kevin didn’t. 

“What Neil?” Andrew asked. 

Neil lowered his voice. “Can I borrow a knife?” he asked. 

“Can you?” Andrew mocked. 

“May I borrow a knife?” 

“I don’t want or need your protection.” 

“I didn’t ask.”

“Neil.”

“Andrew.”

Andrew stared at Neil, reached a hand up to where Neil’s lip was still bleeding and pressed into the broken skin. “You are a dumbass.” Andrew said. 

“Okay,” Neil said. He could barely feel it, still running on adrenaline. Besides, a split lip might as well have been a paper cut compared to the rest of Neil. 

Andrew pulled a knife out of his wrist band and handed it blade first to Neil. Neil took it without cutting himself and Andrew went up the stairs. 

Neil took one look at the knife, four inch blade, decent balance, he slipped it into his hoodie pocket and went to rejoin the others. Kevin was quiet, Nicky was still sobbing, and Aaron was pissed. 

“What the fuck was that?” Aaron asked. 

“We don’t know where they went,” Neil told him. “Nicky, give me your phone.”

The second elevator opened and Neil shoved the three of them on and then just reached into Nicky’s pocket and pulled out his phone. 

“You seem to know a lot of shit Josten,” Aaron said. 

“Yes, despite my best efforts.” Neil agreed, because really. He’d been doing everything to avoid knowing. To avoid this. Neil slammed the button for their floor and then turned on Nicky’s phone. 

By the time they reached their floor, Neil had found the contact on Nicky’s phone. ‘Baby’ with an absurd amount of hearts before and after. Neil hit dial and handed the phone to Nicky when the line connected. Renee was waiting in the hall in front of her dorm room.

“Aaron, if the upperclassmen say something stupid will you hit them?” Neil asked, as soon as he did he knew the answer. “Can you take Nicky and Kevin to your room?”

Aaron stopped Neil from continuing on down the hall. He just stared at Neil for a long moment and then shook his head and pulled Nicky and Kevin into their dorm. Neil went to Renee but listened for the door as it opened and shut behind him. 

“Where’s Andrew?” Renee asked. 

“He took the stairs,” Neil said. 

“Ah, I'll go check on him then.” She made for the stairs. 

Neil went directly into the girl’s dorm and took a second to observe. 

“How the hell was he laughing?” Allison asked, not looking at the door. 

Neil immediately understood what he had walked into. “Because he’s drugged out of his mind,” Neil answered. “Are you actually that dense or just willfully stupid when it comes to Andrew? He laughs at everything because he’s on court ordered medication and cannot help himself.” 

“Where is everyone?” Matt asked when Allison just stood there blank. 

“Nicky’s talking to Eric, Aaron’s watching him and Kevin. Renee went to check on Andrew,” Neil reported. 

“Are you okay?” Matt asked. 

“It’s gonna take a lot more than one punch to kill me,” Neil told him. 

The door opened and Renee slipped inside, “Andrew’s taking some time,” she told them. 

As long as someone knew where he was, Neil thought. 

“It had to be the Ravens,” Seth said. “There was only one way for that guy to get to the otherside of the country when he wasn’t supposed to leave the state. It was Riko.” 

“Is he gonna send everyone’s demons back at them?” Matt asked. 

At the very least, Tilda was already dead, so Aaron would be fine. 

“Riko only has so many moves he can make,” Renee said quietly. “Even with his amount of resources, he’s the second son and everything he’s done so far has made a lot of noise.” 

Neil considered telling them that if anyone came looking for him they should throw Neil under the bus and run in the opposite direction. But Neil knew they wouldn’t give him the answer he wanted. 

“I’m gonna--” Neil made a vague gesture and left the room. He went into his dorm and grabbed his desk chair and dragged it out into the hall. He positioned it so he could watch the elevators and the stairwell and still keep an eye on the hall itself. 

He sat down and put his hand in his sweatshirt pocket. Held the knife. 

Even for eating purposes Neil typically tried to not hold the knife too much. It instantly brought on a wave of things he did not want to think about. But Neil was still in that shifty space of adrenaline were bad ideas seemed good if they worked. They were in an emergency situation and the math turned out to be incredibly simple. 

Neil could use a knife. It was unlikely that Drake or Luther would come to the dorms, but if Riko was really the puppet behind this he didn't want to take the risk. Not with his foxes, not with Andrew.

[themagicmusicman]

quick context: character im doing is shå; she is the girlfriend of angu, one of the main characters in neim’s worldbuilding project, kunirn. shå uses she/her, angu uses she/ her, kik (angu’s close friend/basically brother at this point lmao) uses he/xey 👍

1. i reckon she’s usually too busy beating people up to have other hobbies but like. does cooking count as crafting? she crafts. food lmao

2. this bitch might be trans but she wears the manliest man cologne lmfao like. whatever the kunirn equivalent of something tobacco, sandalwood and orange would smell like. man shite /fem

3. fuck yeah!!! that’s basically the main thing she does besides being gay and fighting people

4. mmmm not really, unless her and angu are baking together for the sillies (kik sometimes joins in too)

5. yeah!! she has the Ǎtrothang mark on her right shoulder (shown at the bottom of the post) as well as loads of others hjehekr

6. probably kik (angu’s friend n basically non blood brother) bcs xey seem like they would work the best under pressure and know first aid. all that shit yknow [update. neim told me that kik is canonically good at patching people up so i was right!]

7. bitch isnt scared of anything except her parents, and thats fairly normal i think. guys thats normal. right. ri-

8. yeah she probably has the weirdest collections of shit. stuff like bones, eyeballs, that kinda thing

9. she usually tries to just wait it out and continue whatever she’s doing, but when it gets so bad she can’t, she just leeches to angu until it goes away

10. not standing up to her parents’ bullshit :[

11. ehhhh probably not anything. canon but she seems like the kind of person who would

12. oh yeah shå has amazing style /gen this bitch dresses like the most butch lesbian. also she’s just hot lmao (evidence at tje bottom)

13. not in the slightest lmao

14. absolutely. it took her close to a year to open up to angu about her parent bs so. yeah just a bit

15. she’s just a silly lil guy. the sillies! silly and tiny and definitely doesnt have a really dark/horny sense of humour!

16. nope and nope :D

17. basically never. she stands by what she believes at doesnt bend for anyone

18. easier to become her enemy than her friend :3

19. you have to be pretty awesome she has trust issues lmao

20. meh not really seeing as her life in Ǎtrothang was. pretty traumatising

21. friends. friends for sure

22. never

23. n/a shes immortal /j (in other words doesnt think about dying ever)

24. most people are her enemies :3👍

25. uh morning routine, wake up and get on with the day. evening routine, go to bed and toss n turn until she eventually falls asleep

26. she’s her own hero (aka has no heroes (except maybe kik or angu but thats just her being gay lmao))

27. i mean. her meeting angu was pretty much a chance encounter and that changed her life drastically so!

28. # idontthinkgamingexistslmao

29. i’d want to be but she would scare me 😔

30. she doesn’t want to be famous. the less people who know her, the better

31. i would probably give her some sort of silly telepathic powers, she’d want invisibility

32. being afab (she doesnt mind the dick but she occasionally gets dysphoria thinking that she’s a Fake Woman because she has not biological booba (she is the most womanly woman i know))

33. oh yeah. i think angu, shå and kik would play silly ttrpgs the same way i play dnd with neim and my irl mates

34. terribly. she hides it well, but inside she’s struggling :[[[

35. in charge of her own destiny. fuck the dead gods she’s deciding her fate

36. yes and uh. for legal reasons no /hj

37. she doesn’t really like the gods, n chooses to just kinda. do her own thing lmao (same as angu but less Loud About It /lh)

38. she doesn’t dream (me core)

39. definitely!!! that sounds fun as shit!

40. she would be able to pull it out first try because shes a big strong jerboa. speaking of pulling ou-

41. she hates making mistakes so doesn’t learn from them as much as. promise herself not to make the same mistake again

42. yeh! she speaks mainly speaks rurleki (surprisingly. the language of rurlek) but also speaks atro from living in atrothang

43. fairly well, except mentally. afterwards she’ll freak out but she’s usually fine in the moment

44. only angu, not even kik i dont think

45. wing it gdejdbksbdkf

46. for sure, she probably lies quite a lot lmao

47. she would for quite a few people, ofc including angu and kik

48. in a heartbeat. revenge quest time babyyy!

49. nah she knows the difference. big difference (this is a threat 👍)

50. shes a trans lesbian jerboa!!!!! what is there to not love!!!!!!!!!

@neim-batteries-not-included haiiiiii :3

You've Got Questions and I've Got Answers OC Edition

Do they have any crafting hobbies?

Do they wear perfume/cologne? If so what scents do they prefer?

Do they enjoy cooking?

Do they enjoy baking?

Do they have any tattoos? If so what are they and do they have any special meaning?

If they were badly injured, and for whatever reason couldn't go to a hospital, who would they go to for help?

Do they have any unusual fears?

Do they collect anything? If so what and why?

When they're sick what do they do to feel better?

Do they have any regrets?

Do they have any addictions?

Do they have any sense of style? Regardless of the answer do they believe they have a sense of style?

Do they enjoy poetry?

Do they have a hard time opening up to people?

What kind of sense of humor do they have? Or do they have one at all?

Do they have or want kids?

How easily would they be convinced to do something that goes against their morals?

How easy is it to become their enemy?

How easy is it to become their friend?

Do they have a strong connection to their culture?

What is more important to them, friends or family?

Would they ever betray someone for money?

How would they want to die?

Do they have any enemies?

Do they have a daily/nightly routine?

Have they met any of their heroes? Did they regret it?

Has a chance encounter ever had an unexpected effect on them?

Are they a #gamer?

If they were real would you be friends with them?

If they had the chance to be famous would they take it? If they are famous would they rather they weren't?

What superpower would you choose for them and what would they choose for themselves? If they have one would they choose something else?

If they could change one thing about themselves what would it be?

Do they play ttrpgs? If so what kind of characters do they play? Or are they more likely to GM?

How well do they deal with grief?

Do they believe in fate or do they believe they are in charge of their own destiny?

Would they ever kill someone? Have they already?

Are they religious? If so do they have a strong sense of faith, are they uncertain, or are they somewhere in between?

What are their dreams like? Do they have any recurring dreams/nightmares?

Would they ever crash a wedding?

If they found a sword in a stone would they try to pull it out? How would they react to being able to pull it out or not?

Do they learn from their mistakes?

Can they speak multiple languages? If yes which all do they speak and why?

Can they handle stressful situations?

Who, if anyone, would they trust with their deepest secrets?

Do they plan in advance or just wing it?

Would they lie to get out of trouble?

Would they lie to get someone else out of trouble? Even if they would have to take that someone else's place?

How likely are they to go on a quest for revenge?

Do they have trouble keeping their enemies and their friends straight?

What is your favorite thing about them?

I love these so I figured I'd make one of my own! Just be sure that if you reblog this ask one or two of these to the person you reblogged from (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[elsalouisa]

"Easter was late that year, and it was very warm, so it was decided that we would go to Brassowo. We stopped a day in Moscow, and I remember thinking how much Granny had aged since the death of Aunt Vera. The big house at Brassowo was being entirely refurnished and redecorated, so we stayed in what  was known as the Guests’ Pavilion, just across the lawn and the front drive. I was delighted to get back there again and find all the familiar landmarks. On Good Friday we painted and dyed the usual eggs, and I heard with delight that I would be allowed to go to the midnight service at the monastery, which was some twelve versts away, That would be nothing in these days, by car, but then had to be done by horse and carriage. The thought of this long drive at night enthralled me and my happiness was complete when I was told that I could stay up for supper after we got home.  Then horror of horrors! On Saturday morning I woke up and found that I was completely speechless; my throat was not sore but I could not speak above a whisper. Motia, my maid, I knew would not say anything, and as Miss Rata had by then developed a bulge whose precise significance escaped me and presumably had other things to think about, I spent the day very successfully in avoiding to have to speak to anybody. We had a very early supper, about six, and I was sent to bad until it was time to dress and start for the monastery. I was with Mamma and Uncle Misha in their Victoria, well wrapped up and delighted that nobody had spotted my voice, or rather the lack of it. Then suddenly Mamma asked me a question, and the whole thing came out; she was very angry and said that I would be ill and that it  was dangerous to drive about in the cold night air, but we were nearly there by then and there was nothing to be done. I was told that on returning home I would be sent straight to bed, without supper, but Uncle Misha nudged me and I knew it would be all right. The service impressed me tremendously, There was a male choir, with small boys as altos and sopranos; the elder monks had baritones and basses; they all had wonderful voices, and how they sang! I had cold shivers down my back all the time. The Easter midnight service in the Orthodox Church starts on a lugubrious note. The church is hardly illuminated, the singing is sad and subdued, one is still mourning for the death of  Christ. Then starts a procession, carrying ikons and banners, most of the congregation following with lighted candles; they walk outside and right round the church, and then one can hear the choir taking on a new note, very gay and lilting, the big candelabras suddenly burst into light and the procession come back by the main door singing: ‘Christ is risen'. The clergy have light vestments on, and the whole atmosphere is one of rejoicing, and you embrace whoever is standing next to you thrice and murmur: ‘Christ is risen’. Then came a short celebration of Mass and we started off for home, Upon arrival there, to my secret relief, nobody mentioned my going to bed, and as soon as the  others arrived back in relays from church, supper was started. The whole idea of the supper is the traditional breaking of the fast after the long lenten days. The table was literally groaning with food, hams, chickens, a sucking-pig in jelly with a red egg in his mouth, a turkey stuffed with truffles, bowls of multi-coloured eggs, special Easter cakes known as koulitch and endless variety of hors d'oeuvre, and that delicious concoction of cream cheese, eggs, sugar, and ground almonds, flavoured with vanilla, and compressed into a pyramid shape, which we call paskha.  The supper went on for hours, until dawn, but I had been sent to bed long before that".

Nathalie Majolier "Step-Daughter of Imperial Russia"