#i have decided that distance is good
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#personal#decided after forever i will go back to school and resolutely decided months ago on a course but now that the time#has come to apply i am waffling intensely and no longer confident in anything#but i don't want to stay in this dead end job forever#i was so good in school and just have been in limbo forever burnt out and scared#and i need to do *something*#i like being creative but idk if i'd feel good enough to do that for a grade you know i like the broad aspect of liberal arts...#but i fear the impracticality because that's the degree they make fun of on tv#i like the analysis parts of it#accounting is the i should do this but it's also the i don't want to be stuck in an accounting job thing but i have no beef with it#and it's closer to home but sigh#like the other two are pre uni type stuff which maybe i won't do due to cost abd distance again but idk idk
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I love seeing Rory run in the field!! Bird dog doing bird dog things!! You said in the tags you had different training and priorities with her vs Mav re: offleash running like that. What kinds of things did you do differently with Rory to be comfortable having her offleash at a distance with reliable recall?
I was writing a whole novel but really it boils down to this chart. Under the cut because it's (vertically) long.
In short, it's just as much about what I didn't do with Maverick as what I did do with Aurora.
(Edited to add: I am extremely fortunate to live in the prairies where the kind of visibility I need is easy to find. Use my experience to inspire your own training if you like, but don't use it as a recipe. I have my own goals and my own priorities and those are likely different than yours.)
Maverick:
🔵 Supremely confident from day 1
🔵 Came home in August (extremely good and exciting time for outdoor adventures)
🔵 Prioritized specific sports behaviours over foundational building blocks like engagement and cooperation
🔵 Learned bad habits from my older dog at the time (prey drive > recall)
🔵 Was indiscriminately prey driven. If it moved, he wanted to kill it.
🔵 I phased out treats too fast and didn't want to use an ecollar or long line
🔵 I focused on "social media dog behaviours" (think like walking extremely close to me on trails) and got frustrated when we couldn't meet these rather than meeting my dog where he was at. This created a lot of frustration in our dog adventures.
🔵 I practiced recalls constantly when I didn't have to, making them a tedious behaviour for him. I would recall him 20-50 times a hike for everything from "you're too far away from me" to "I want to take a photo".
Aurora
🟣 Came to me a little insecure and looked to me for reassurance
🟣 Came home in December (a cold and relatively boring time for outdoor adventures)
🟣 I prioritized engagement, cooperation, and name recognition from day 1
🟣 Practiced good habits by walking offleash in the snow either alone or with Pike (amazing recall)
🟣 Is extremely birdy, but is very very focused. She easily calls off deer or people/dogs in the distance because she mostly cares about birds.
🟣 Literally always gets offered a high value snack for recalling or voluntary check ins (I will never phase this out, I will carry chunks of cheese on offleash walks for the rest of her life)
🟣 I never practice recalls if I don't need them. This one is hard to explain, but once Rory understood that long whistle = come back as fast as you can, I don't whistle unless I really need to. I recall her an average of 0-3 times per hike (*based on visibility or wildlife*) and trust her to make good decisions otherwise. I keep my eyeballs on her 100% of the time and choose areas with good visibility, but I don't recall her just for being far away.
🟣 I limit hikes where I have to nag her often (think, in the woods where I dont have a great line of sight and have to remind her to stay close to me) to a few times a month or less so she doesn't start getting frustrated about it.
🟣 I trust the training I put into her and choose to run her in areas with (relatively) reduced risk if she makes the "wrong" choice. I don't nitpick everything she does and I let her make her own choices, within reason.
🟣 I have an interrupter cue to ask her to stop doing something before I call her back (if she's digging a hole and I want her to move on, I use "Rory, enough! Here!") instead of whistling at her.
🟣 I don't force her attention on check ins. If she runs back to me and doesn't want a snack and wants to run straight back out, I let her run back out.
🟣 I have anticipatory cues for the end of a walk so I don't have to recall her when we get to the end of the field.
I want to say that it's nerve wracking to watch my dog sprint at full speed hundreds of yards away from me. I have to fight the impulse to recall her just because she's far away. It's an exercise in trust because I'm always worried about her going over the horizon, or running into a wildlife, or falling into a hole, but it's an important thing to work on if you have a dog that needs that trust to thrive.
Mav and I were a good team, but I never fully trusted him outdoors. I always had my finger on the ecollar buttons ready for him to do an evil and need to be vibrated. It was exhilarating to watch him in the field, but it wasn't really fun or relaxing.
Rory and I built a much stronger foundation of trust (I personally never would have been able to do this if I had more than one dog). She doesn't know any tricks yet, but I'm super confident in her recall and ability to take direction in the field, even when she's sprinting as fast as possible.
#dogblr#about mav#about aurora#hahahaha i still wrote a novel#i have a lot of thoughts about recall#i never want to see a four month old puppy with an ecollar and yet i see it all the time in the gundog circles#and i get it i just find it super distasteful#i was team 'never get a dog in winter' !#and i am now team '100% get a dog in winter'#it was sooooo much easier to build good habits when nothing was moving in the winter freeze#my biggest issue with rorys recall is that she struggles to recall off pike#but even that improves each time we go out and thats more an arousal issue than a recall issue#she's a really cool dog#i still choose my offleash locations and time super carefully#i would never go out at noon on a sunday and run her offleash#i go out to quiet areas at quiet times#and i just let her do her thing#trust is a two way street even with dogs#ask#anon#bird dog training#recall training#recall#<- tags so i can find this later#eta: i want to add that i do use her name to get her attention if i need something or want a photo#and i have a specific cue for 'look at me from a distance and decide if you want to come closer'#but im largely quiet in the field when shes running especially if were walking by ourselves#i just let her do her thing#thats why we're out there after all
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I want to write barbie x ken fanfiction set maybe a couple years after the movie (Barbie spoilers)
where ken decides to go to the Real World because he Can Do That now and meets barbie again whos been adjusting and living self-love and doing things and finding herself and It's this, like, tearful reunion moment and Ken's still in love with her but he's much better at keeping it to himself because ken always respects barbie's decisions, but barbie spends a few days with this ken who has over time also sort of become himself, and has discovered his interests and likes and dislikes and became, like, more rounded through experiences and discovers that she finds him utterly endearing and begins falling for him and just. Second chances pure friendship to lovers barbie x ken where they take some time off for themselves and meet each other as better people (dolls? idk u get the point).
#barbie spoilers#Someone on twitter compared Barbie's arc to that of Erika's from princess and the pauper#who decided to become a singer and travel the world and take time for herself before focusing on love#Barbie and Ken having a healthy relationship and turning a new page#and getting to know each other all over again#like they're both in a better place now yknow?#maybe they can have an unconventional long distance relationship that works because they're barbie and ken#barbie#ken#barbie movie#barbie 2023#(also its funny bc i just remembered that barbie vlogs barbie friendzoned ken lmao)#(I think they're tgt now? idk)#They've never been in a real relationship and didn't break up bc they were never tgt in the movie#I love barbie x ken so much but the movie's open end was good and fitting#so like. best of both worlds! they're barbie and ken everything is possible
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honestly maybe considering making oleander ven and niles just original fiction characters? or finding a mind closet to shove them into while i find different settings for them…
#like. what good does it do when i’m only petrified of posting about those characters in relation to those games#because i know most people in that very small fandom don’t like me very much.#and they have a right to feel that way i was especially insufferable in my bg3 focus era but i always kind of am.#and i am not mad with anyone for disliking me as a result#and again. i don’t want sympathy or ‘oh no that’s not true’ you don’t have to lie to me i know i was/am it’s a fact#i’m just trying to explain my thought process behind this but don’t want to like. victimise myself or anything#i fucked up i most likely will continue to fuck up in different and/or similar ways in social situations i am trying my best but sometimes#that’s just not enough. sometimes my best makes people uncomfortable and i just need to acknowledge and learn from that#while keeping my distance.#like. i think the pathfinder game spaces are small enough where that’s probably something i should do y’know#for bg3 i certainly like mentioned earlier fucked up plenty as well but that fandom is massive#so it feels. different. y’know#even if i did already decide to revamp that stuff/zeke purely into original work but just because i thought it fit the character/plot better#anyways. i think if i can’t write about those characters in that setting for whatever reason then maybe it’d be best if i did that#romeo’s wretched rambles
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#KISS THE EARTH AND LOVE IT WITH AN UNCEASING CONSUMING LOVE: visage.#yeah so i decided to partially leave this in black-and-white bc i just think that suited blamore better in this pic but... OMG#catch me about to start calling him my darling because he is SO pretty it's honestly unfair. but good for him for both having curly hair-#and being tall because i am definitely admiring it from a Distance because i just know that blamore would swat me like-#a bug if it was real 💀 JSJSJ LMAO okay maybe it wouldn't exactly do that but i don't think it would like me to say the least
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The tool wheel! Finally, good smooth tool switching! I also fixed the scalpel's collision; no matter how fast you move it, everything in its path will get hit now! I also encountered an issue where gel puddles would remain on-screen across organ transitions, so I added a function to clear out all the Stuff spawned by tools, such as gel puddles and scalpel trails. Added polyps too. And also put a little surprise at the end...
#original#trauma center#trauma center recreation#we got sutures baby!#kinda. they don't actually do anything#but the controls and visuals and audio are good to go!#my idea that i had like a week ago worked shockingly well#the key to those good-looking suture threads is to watch the angle of movement#before my idea was “spawn a thread when the movement direction changes significantly”#but now i've improved it to comparing the angle of movement to the angle of the line from the thread's start point to the mouse#i don't think i'm explaining it well but basically it works real good!#just need to make it actually work now. which i'm still not entirely sure how i'm going to do#okay well i have a solid plan but there's also another option that might make it easier to decide between cool/good/bad#but WE'LL SEE#best-case scenario: tomorrow night i'll greet you all with a download link to a full playable operation#from opening incision to closing bandage#kinda unlikely since i don't even know how to export games yet lol#but by the day after tomorrow i probably maybe will!#edit: ALSO i adjusted the vitals bar to make it closer to how it looks in-game#by which i mean i painstakingly measured distances from a screenshot and set the bar's size and coordinates exactly#and i did the same thing for the tool wheel. naturally.
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do any of the kith guys like cats/interacted with cats (minus kevin, hes clearly a cat guy)?
YES!!! i got to personally hang out with three different CITH (cats in the hall) just in the past few days and i love them so much
idk about dave/kevin/mark's pet situations and bruce only has dogs (tho i have also met his dogs and they are delightful) but scott has two cats and bellini has one
scott's cats are named rusty and dusty, they're brothers, and he first got them in 2020. when i'm at scott's place sometimes dusty will like do a loop around me keeping his distance but rusty has walked over to lay on me multiple times. i can't find a photo of the two cats together but here's rusty - dusty looks the same but slightly bigger

bellini's cat is named "early" and he's had him since 2011 i think. i'm obsessed with the story behind the cat's name - paul's partner always named his cats after their personality traits, but after several days paul kept asking to pick a name and his partner kept saying "we can't! it's too early!" and the name stuck. early is one of those cats that lets you pet him for like 5 seconds then immediately wants to roughhouse lmao but i think i've been around him enough that he's accepted me as a friend-of-cats

and of course i'm not a kid in the hall but here's a photo of my cat "sprout." i got her in 2019 and she's the best cat ever lmao. also i think she must have smelled that i was hanging out with the aforementioned cats this week bc when i opened up my suitcase to unpack she started rubbing against it which was very cute (she also did the same to a script scott gave me lmao)

#kevin and mark give me cat-owner vibes (in a good way) but i have no idea what pets they have#my camera roll has so many photos of early and rusty lmao every time one of them decides to be social i have to document it#someday dusty will also be my friend but he keeps his distance and that's okay#i remember the first time i was at scott's apartment i kept asking him which cat was which#and after a while he was like ''i don't actually know i'm just guessing''#(since they're identical the trick is actually that they have their own specific places they sit in the apartment it's so interesting)#but yeah scott and paul are very big fans of cats and so am i. so happy i got to see the cats this week!!#i'm back in the US now btw but this trip was amazing even if it was short
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it was nice to remember when i liked ofmd
#those first few episodes were so good#it actually makes me more sad for where the series went because i genuinely have absolutely no notes about 1-3#they were everything i could have ever wanted. more than i ever expected#and then it just starts to slip and i don't even know if i can watch the finale again#i would actually like to write out my thoughts properly now i have distance but. i can't right now#nyxtalks#ofmd#ofmd s2 spoilers#ofmd critical#am i back off my break now? who knows#im riding the high of spending time with my one (1) friend but those never really last long and soon ill be back to where i was in this#mornings vent post lol. haven't decided what im truly doing there yet
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actually if you wanna talk to me about anything you should probably reach out on instagram bc im not answering dms or asks if they’re not about requesting content anymore (unless it’s bio anon). otherwise it’s business as usual :3
#I decided to distance myself for my own good so this stops happening to me bc I think ppl just keep taking advantage of me and then laugh#about me in their little separate friend groups so…#if you have my ig good! If not . tough I guess.#mrow.org
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I gotta stop saying "left eye" first whenever someone proposes a saw trap where they remove parts of your body. I could be getting free wisdom tooth surgery
#emma posts#I just have a grudge against that eye#it affected several things about my development and current life and I'm still mad at it#fucking depth of field and perspective and shit being so hard to naturally create from my mind because I grew up with my eyes seeing TWO#DIFFERENT DISTANCES#being bad at throwing things in gym class because I was seeing in TWO DIFFERENT FOCUSES#me having a hard time at little kid baseball because of that#I was surprisingly still good a bowling though#and had gotten very good at dodging object in gym class by highschool#and so much more!#got migraines from the textbooks and computer monitors in middleschool because of that bitch#I already got headaches by the end of the day because of everything else. I did not need it worse#I used to love running in the rain but then I got glasses and it's like a car windshield#to be fair though my bottom wisdom teeth decided to grow their roots around major nerves and need a specialist#the top two could be ripped out easily though. they even broke the surface on their own! They just came out at a 90 degree angle...#which makes them basically useless and hard to clean#I've managed so far though! My dentist was impressed#I'm getting a good grade in teeth
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god i just love having little to no autonomy with the relationship with my ex who i have to be friends with
#like#the breakup wasnt mutual the stopping fucking wasnt mutual the blocking me wasnt mutual#the pushing me away and splitting the friend group and cucking me from one of our shared friends wasnt mutual#like bitch. ffs#said shared friend legit has more control over things than i do since theyre the one who passes messages on#and at group events its not like i can have a sitdown talk with them#even tho somehow they go out of their eay to be like. yeah u said u wanted to be more distant. which i revoked like 3 days later when i#got out of that depressive episode but shared friend decided to leave that fact out#tho tbh distance isnt bad#its not good tho#i just fucking hate this shit#i cant leave them but i cant stop feeling shit for them even when im mad#its stupid (probably bpd lol)
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Once more thinking about how Susan (“and what do you do?” “I eat”) Foreman probably learned about humans and how they work maybe like 5 years ago at best, and then suddenly being stranded on their planet and also immediately needing to learn not only how to irrevocably Be Human to anyone but this human husband she acquired, but also how to mother like. Fucking four little tiny baby infant humans at least.
And she does! She does so pretty well! She can even get over the fact that humans are scared little astroxenophobic assholes considering their main source of contact right now was an unending barrage of Daleks! It’s okay, because this is her life now, away from literally anyone else who’s ever known her her entire life, and even though she doesn’t have a choice she’s choosing all of this because it makes it better—
But she still likes that life— she likes that life a lot, so much so that she can ignore that eventually it’ll end, because Susan Foreman, not Arkytior, has built a nice little life for herself far away from any other Time Lords and anything they can touch. And it’s nice, but she’s also far away from any other Time Lords and anything they can touch, too. Until she’s Very Much Not and is thrust back into not only THE, HER two Time Lords, but one of them is directly responsible for her husband dying, and the other is inadvertently responsible for her son dying. But she has a TARDIS again now! Wow! And what perfect timing at that, considering her Grandfather is Gone again and the family she built is suddenly very much uneasy with the whole idea of, well, not their mom, but of Susan Foreman. She’s fully alien now, and that is harmful, that is toxic, that has gotten their dad and their youngest brother killed. And there are times she could go back to Gallifrey, but she’s lived off of Gallifrey for far longer than she ever lived underfoot of the planet. It’s not home. She barely even knows a handful of people there. She Cannot Catch A Fucking Break. She Cannot Keep A Home. She’s pretty convinced that if she tries to get too comfortable with anyone anywhere it will end horribly in some way or another. The fact that she’s held onto her TARDIS for so long makes Susan 4 & 5 wonder when it’s going to get ripped away from her too. It’s home, and you wouldn’t believe it based on the setup, but you can bet she won’t get comfortable.
#it’s 12 AM I’m just. deep in my thoughts about this girl rn#character; susan foreman#about; susan foreman#one of the main reasons why she decided finding her Grandfather simply Was Not Worth It. Both how she convinced herself that like#‘i Don’t care actually! idc to know where he is or what he’s doing or if he’s okay or what HE’D do rn or what dumb joke he’s thinking of or#(read: she cares. she cares so so much about her grandfather still) and also bc she thinks IF they’d even do anything together it’d end bad#and painfully. But she’s also so desperate for her family back that she chases or at least stays put WHILE trying not to enjoy the good#Same with anyone else she’s interested in really. She holds the Chesterton’s at their own level and still tries to distance herself#But someone she wants to spend time with? Someone she may be friends with? That’s dangerous and it could end So Bad. Clearly. Look at her.#anyways I think I’m done. have fun in the tags guys. sorry if it’s all super incoherent.#ooc !
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In another world, fate was just a little bit kinder
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#sotrl midori#sotrl haya#seeds of the red lotus#look I was feeling extremely emotional recently. and thought about how different life would be for my OCs if Haya was good#and I'm a sucker for AUs like that. it's spiritually healing. so of course I had to draw something for it#I originally wanted to draw a companion piece for suiren too but then thought it was just rehashing the idea#and I draw Suiren a lot already anyways so decided to just take the excuse to draw adorable little Midori and run with it#I have quite a few thoughts about an AU like this too. it starts out like sotrl does. haya gives them the cold shoulder and is kinda mean#but then the news of the rl's imprisonment reach gaoling. haya is shellshocked at first. distances herself and sends the girls to their room#pretends she can't hear the crying. but really she wants to cry too because as estranged as they are. ghazan is still her little brother#she indulges late that night after she think the girls are asleep. deep buried trauma from losing her parents resurfaces#but then she hears footsteps behind her. Midori is awake. haya wants to be angry at first but finds she has no energy to#they talk a little. the warm glow of candlelight catches midori's eyes and their grey shade turns gold. she looks so much like him#haya realises Midori is even younger than ghazan was when they lost their parents. suiren is half the age haya herself was#no one cared for her and ghazan back then. she won't let history repeat itself#so she reaches for midori. heart skipping a beat when she lights up slightly. and takes her into her arms#holds her close as midori hugs her back. if she closes her eyes it almost feels like she’s 14 again. holding her brother#she swears then that she’ll be as good of a guardian to these girls as she can so they don’t end up like their parents did. like haya did#it’s a long road to unlearn her bitterness but she tries her best. it’s easier with midori who soaks in affection like a sponge#Midori’s happiness is infectious. with suiren it’s much more difficult bc the prejudice Haya holds against the swamp are still there#as is the hatred for their mother. it isn’t until the townspeople start calling Suiren a swamp rat does haya snap#she no longer cares about getting alienated from the community that barely welcomed her anyway. she will defend her niece from them all#it’s the first time she calls suiren her niece. they talk too and Haya apologises for favouring Midori and starts working on fixing it#their life together isn’t perfect. the townspeople side eye them. they can’t afford bending teachers. Haya still has to bite her tongue#but it’s so much better than what could have been had Haya let her pain consume her and started to take it out on the girls. they’re happy#I have so much more to say and theorise about when it comes to this au but alas. tag limits are a thing. so I’m leaving this here
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AU in which Aunt Agatha is more uptight and disallows Celia to go to Renasci. Instead, she sends her to finishing school
#in this au Celias had a very different unbringing#where she was forced to learn how to dance and speak French and eat with five different forks and be a lady#and because she is learning new languages so much earlier than she did in canon#she discovers early on that she’s really good at it (*cough* gifted *cough*)#and she develops a passion for language#it’s one of the few places where she feels she can be herself and she is unrestricted by aunt Agatha who is very pro having-a-child-prodigy#and so when she is sent to finishing school she’s actually sent abroad#this rightfully sends everyone at Renasci into a tizzy#her space in Mensaleon is still reserved and there’s an empty bed in room 3#(Doxa’s way more chill on account of this and becomes a mentor figure to Maddie who is pretty lonley)#they eventually decide to teach Celia remotely using the book as a sort of Zoom stand-in#and Celia has to cram a double schedule of learning while she goes to her own classes#also because i want it#in this au Maddie due to her isolation becomes in tune with her intuition way earlier#and has frequent contact with the kynoseur similar to Tainn in Bellicose#she has visions concerning Celia and the two become long distance friends using their mind gifts as their only connection#Celia’s finishing school is a four year university and immedietlg after she graduates the kidnapping attempts start#this is right about when she is growing into her telepathy and that combined with them finally being on the same continent#means that Maddie and celia are finally able to talk rather than meeting in dreams or getting updates via kynoseur-post#Celia also knows way earlier that she has a sister#the fifth book still launches a school-to-school tour#but rather than doing it through a Renasci exchange program#the two besties have to use more illegal methods and go on a cross-country breaking and entering spree#Maddie runs away from Renasci and they’re on the run until the final battle#they manage to find Huperpetra in a dramatic revelation and they break in using Celia’s block-breaking prowess#and the showdown happens there instead of at villandre#celias journey#celia fincastle#alternate universes
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unreasonable complaining in the tags lol
#one of my friends is in a kinda long distance relationship#but they get together every weekend which is fine whatever good for them but#when she goes to him we obviously cant go out and when he comes here they just go out the two of them and every once in a blue moon she'll#be like 'me and bf are out you can come join if you want'#and my problem isnt really that he is also there but that its an afterthought to invite us#like if it was a 'we're thinking of going there do you want to come' or even a 'we will go there do you want to come' it would be better#bc like for me to go there it will take at least 40 minutes without the getting ready time and the time waiting for the bus which could be#a long time cause its a weekend and on weekends there are fewer buses#so like it could take me at least an hour before i get there#also i hate last minute plans but i also hate saying no to people. actually i just dont know how to say no to people#anyway i have to decide if i want to go or not and see if i can eat sth where they are or if i have to eat sth at home before i leave#which would make me even later#why am i getting so upset over this? its literally so stupid#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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IM GOING TO A LORD HURON CONCERT??????
#WHAT FUCKING TIMELINE IS THIS#im even getting REALLY GOOD SEATS#turns out the Really Good Seats aren't that expensive when its not a kpop band LMFAO#AND ITS WITHIN DRIVING DISTANCE AHHHHH#BROTHERI AM LOSING IT!!!@#i couldnt decide for a while but im going to fucking die anyways!!!!!!@!@#IM. ACTUALLY DOING IT????? THIS FEELS CRAZY#i dont actually have the tickets YET but i have a plan and a price limit and a card and someone to go with AND THE COURAGE AND WILL#and the CREDIT CARD (i am spending responsibly i promise)
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