#i have bendy bitch disease

[persimmontartkisses]

Ahh, another beautiful morning. Allow me to stretch

My back:

[thateclecticbitch]

Hnnnggg still sick and tired and also injured now :(

[atohii]

nobody talks about how hard it is to put on a binder when you got shoulders like a linebacker and hips to birth seventeen children to work on a potato farm

[frownyalfred]

Something I've been considering writing for a hot minute but haven't for a few reasons, is writing about what I think the Bats pain management is like. I have bendy bitch disease so my limbs dislocate just sitting down so I been managing chronic and acute pain for years and spend a fair amount of time researching the latest news.

All of which to say- if I send an ask talking about how I think the bats do certain medicals shit vis a vis pain management and bracing, would anyone be interested? I know you wrote something similar regarding alcohol, and I know I myself found it helpful.

I’d love a post like that! Send me the link when it’s up!

[somecunttookmyurl]

i mean. i have a 43" chest and don't need to wear a bra for pain-support reasons so there's that, i guess. mostly they're just weird but at least they put approximately 0 strain on my shoulders

saw your tags about your lightweight boobs… so, not only did someone take your url, someone also took your boob tissue XD

left me with helium balloons instead 😞

[honorable-wanderings]

Word of Honor - Episode 1 Part 1- It Begins with a Ballet

20 years ago a bunch of dudes came together to make Wan Shi Tong's Library from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

And in order to open it one must obtain the mystical shiny!

Not sure why they couldn’t dig or something. Is it reinforced on all sides? 

And making a key out of glass seems like a bad plan IMO but I’m not a martial arts master in Ancient China so what do I know?

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Oooh we starting with a roof-top assassin mission right from the off? Well hot damn!

Are they freaking out because of the lanterns though? Or because they noticed him?

Calm down! He’s just here to celebrate Rapunzel’s birthday with y’all!

This is a nice shot but it does kinda make me think he got there via hot air balloon which is always fun.

Oooh! These guys would be great at protecting Romani Ranch from “Them”!!

Bullseye!

OMG THEY DID COME IN VIA HOT AIR BALLOON I forgot most of the first part of this episode. Lol

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Local Man shocked to realize that he probably should have started his letter about the royal assassins going around killing officials of the court a bit sooner as the royal assassins who are going around killing officials have arrived to kill him, an official of the court.

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Cut loose Footloose Kick off the Sunday shoes

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Young man with a bit more skill than the others requires main character to get his own hands dirty. if this were any other story he might have been the protagonist.

Lookin fly in that assassin hat tho.

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No thank you I just shaved this morning.

------------------------------------------------

Leg

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I suppose this is one of the down sides to this otherwise ‘nice sword’.

Which is now a boomerang? What were you gonna do if he didn’t deflect it and like just dodged instead? Run after it? Call time out and chase your yeeted blade?

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Tryin to make us think our man in blue is getting the upper-hand now. But look at our MC. Look at how bored and unimpressed he is. He’s already dead inside.

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Nooooo his hat!!! rip

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I, for one, always appreciate when the main characters come with their own labels. It honestly helps me and I wish more movies and shows in like every country did that. I know here it’s like added flair for the drama. But you don’t understand how bad I am with names! You don’t understand!

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“I’m here to see Officer Li off.” Yeah off of this mortal plane

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*oven ding noise because your goose is cooked, Son.

Called it

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Oop! He Zoomin!

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Tensions are high but just LOOK at that air time! Now that’ll be one for the books.

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“Gross”

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Sweeping villain theme while his cloak billows in the glow of the lanterns and the moon. This is quality villain posing and I’m HERE for it.

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“Zhou ZiShu, what you do to others will be inflicted on you later.” Bitch Imma do it myself

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He felt bads about it but tath was his duety

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Question, did she lay this out herself or did she ask someone else to do it so that she could be sad in style?

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I see you there settin’ up that there symbolism.

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Hello. We’re calling about your car’s extended warranty.

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Hi. Everyone you know and loved is dead by my own hand on made up pretense. Thanks for bringing me the body of the dead people *I* loved. For that I’ll let you kill yourself instead of running you through with my bendy sword.

We’re still cool, though, right?

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I’m thinkin this is the first of many instances of “Twisting the Screws” as it were.

Look! He’s silly! Playful! You can almost see the light of hope in his eyes!

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*Pouting intensifies*

-------------------------------

That awkward moment when you find out you just killed your beloved shidi’s girl.

Oops

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X Gon Give it to Ya

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Okay so I know what has happened and what is about to happen is so much worse than this but like don’t you think it’s just adding insult to injury to make this guy slow-burn end his life while having to sit in the damn snow?

you’re indoors! Close the sun-roof! Move the chair! Something!

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When people say “Screw this job!” they don’t usually mean it quite so literally.

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When do you think was the last time this poor bastard smiled?

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Yeah I’m gonna go with “ow”

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Hmmmm I guess no job is safe from those two gossipy coworkers that always seem to exist

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And then there’s this asshole

“Why hasn’t he come to see me? Is he still injured? How?”

“It seems he is suffering from “sad bitch” disease, m’lord.

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WHO’S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED??? WHO DARES TO TAINT WITH VULGAR PAINT THE ROYAL FLOWER BED?

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And so he decided to make the “sad bitch’ disease a permanent condition.

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“Don’t do that”

A little late there buddy.

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Look at him! He’s laughin! He’s having a good time!

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“I kinda sucked ass as a leader, didn’t I?”

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Man’s got pretty shoulder blades, nice and toned from carrying the weight of his sins.

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Thanks for coming! You look like shit :)

-_-

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It is admittedly some kind of power move to strip down to your skivvies instead of just explaining that you would like to die now pls.

Say what you want but Zhou ZiShu certainly has a flair for the dramatic.

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I would like to quit via slow and painful death now pls. May I pls have permission to die a slow and painful death now pls?

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This man speedrunning the 5 stages of grief. Shit we’re already at bargaining

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“I wanna get nailed before I die.”

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“In three years I’ll ascend the throne and that’ll show you!!!” “Bitch I don’t CARE.”

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“When my fortune said I could expect an unexpected promotion I didn’t quite expect it to happen this way.”

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Peace Out

TBC...

[adobe-outdesign]

DCTL Liveblog: Chapters 1-3

Man, I miss the days when I could be excited for stuff like tie-in novels instead of just being terrified that they’re going to suck.

I can’t help but compare this to the FNAF novels, as they’re both tie-in books to indie horror games. I guess the big difference is that the FNAF novels aren’t canon, but AUs - it doesn’t matter how bad they are, it doesn’t affect the lore. Heck, even when we thought TSE was canon before it was confirmed it wasn’t, it was just sort of focusing on a side event rather than the bulk of the story. For perspective, that would be like if DCTL was just describing some events that happened in the studio with the ink creatures during the loops or whatever. This is literally the entire backstory to the games, so it’s hard not to feel nervous.

Aside from concerns about what it’s going to do to the plot, I’m also concerned about mood/tone - Bendy has it’s own unique flavor compared to other horror games. I don’t want this to turn into like, Venom or a slasher fic or something, I want it to feel like a BATIM novel. The mood and tone might also end up too dark for its own good considering it’s literally covering everyone going to Hell - the game at least has some moments of levity to ease the depressing parts a bit.

With that said, I did throughly enjoy the preview pages I read online and I’ve heard over and over again from other fans, so hopefully my fears are unfounded.

Side note: This liveblog might be shorter than the others, as I’ve already read most of the first 3 chapters from the preview and therefore won’t have much to say about them. I also am not reading as many chapters as I will over the weekend because I have sleepy bitch disease.

Spoilers under the cut:

One thing I’ll note before I even start reading is that the cover has a really interesting texture to it, and it even has a spot varnish that creates drips of ink coming down from the top. It would’ve cost more to do all of that than to just do a regular cover on standard stock, so I appreciate the production value.

Heck, even the inside is really well designed - there’s ink dripping from the top again and the into page is totally black. It’s a minor thing, but as a designer I really appreciate that they actually made this book fit the BATIM aesthetic instead of just slapping Whatever on it (looking at you FNAF novels).

Going off the FNAF novel comparisons, this book seems better written in the sense that it’s incredibly detailed and vivid - the writing is very rich. The FNAF novels weren’t bad in this regard, but they do pale in comparison.

I love how Joey uses the word “swell”. everything was swell in the 1930s

Buddy gives him the option of Bud or Buddy and Joey immediately goes fo Buddy. at JDS your name will have a -y sound to it and you will enjoy it

I also love how Joey’s like “well I just met you, but you observed some stuff about Bendy immediately so I’m hiring you on the spot even though I don’t know your skills and we’re in debt”. classic Joey

Side note: one of the reasons I think Dot might be our BATDR protag is that Buddy doesn’t know if she’s alive or not. We’ll see if this is addressed in the book or not, but it’s way too weird of a thing to bring up if it’s not followed up in some way.

(I know Meatly said we didn’t know her name, but the book wasn’t out at the time and he might’ve completely forgotten that we already knew if from the description.)

 Guessing Tom’s carrying the blueprints for the Ink Machine?

I really like how Buddy has an actual defined personality. In the FNAF books it’s like... characters had personality, but they were very average for the most part (save for William). Buddy is still relatable and isn’t overly coverful, but he’s interesting and enjoyable to read about.

I’m hoping his and Dot’s relationship will be wholesome enough to lighten the mood and keep the book from being too grimdark.

Before we get into the stuff with Sammy, there’s a good moment at the beginning here that handles the subject much better, wherein Buddy just notes that a woman being the boss of something is unusual. Aside from being interesting from a character perspective regarding Joey, it sort of acknowledges that the 1930s sucks for everyone who isn’t a straight white guy - but it still allows the studio to be disconnected from that, which works pretty well compared to what happens later.

love this violinist lady who’s just like “oh yeah here comes fucking sammy” while he just barges in covered in ink and blood. this is just tuesday for her

Thoughts so far: so far so good, don’t fuck it up

[rudjedet]

How are you doing with the pregnancy ?

Better than the first and second trimesters, actually? Still have that prenatal depression and unresolved traumas and everything, but the physical issues, despite bendy bitch disease, are doable - mostly because we’re stuck inside and “sit the fuck down and don’t lift anything” is the way to keep those to a minimum. Ironically if we hadn’t been in this intelligent lockdown I... would probably not have been doing even remotely this decently (it also helps having been on sick leave since week 13). Round ligament pain is getting worse though and there’s really nothing I can do about that, ugh.

Though the lack of physical support from people in our families because of the pandemic has been tricky. We rely heavily on my dad since neither of us has a licence, so among other things we’ve had to store a lot of stuff that was meant to go to the thrift store/charities (who are all also closed now) in our hall and living. That’s not fun when you’re nesting, let me tell you.

But! Today we’re finally painting the nursery. My initial plan was to have that done before I was 20 weeks along and since I’m 33/5 now you can imagine how much that’s been eating me up lmao 

[sopranoentravesti]

Another note on this trope, in my experience, it’s usually another disabled person (usually someone with experience with a symptom or who has had longer experience navigating disability) giving advice.

Like, take me and my partner. I periodically do incredibly stupid shit because a) I have shit impulse control and despite my chronic pain etc I am also hyperactive and b) grew up with the mentality of an able bodied person who is only now having bendy bitch disease catch up with her (and postural orthostatic symptoms) . So sometimes, I end up sidelined or in pain and she’s like “ffs what on earth possessed you to DO that ,” “Christ do the thing what will reduce problems .”

Obviously this is slightly different, but also a relevant iteration

Can I say something about my experience with chronic pain representation in fiction?

A trope that is very common with characters who live with chronic pain is a well-meaning able-bodied person always encouraging (and often nagging) them to rest or to use mobility aids or use pain relief/remedies etc, and the disabled character keeps resisting their help or advice.

This isn't inherently a problem, and I do like seeing it/writing about it from time to time. If you interact with people who live with chronic pain, this is very likely to be something you experience, because people usually feel as though they want to help and don't quite know how. However, one thing that is very rarely explored well is a character's motivation for resisting that support.

Sometimes, the side effects of pain medication are unbearable. Especially when we are used to the pain, it can be easier to maintain that equilibrium than to gamble with side effects that may be worse than the pain or may be simply more difficult to cope with or more obstructive to what we are trying to do.

Sometimes, a mobility aid is just plain cumbersome. I rarely use a walking stick on stairs, because it is awkward, I have to concentrate on not tripping over the stick as well as my own feet and all in all the benefit just isn't worth the trouble. If I know I'm going to need two hands free to use an umbrella or open doors or use my phone while I'm walking, I may choose not to sacrifice one of my hands to use a cane. That's my judgement, and it is more accurate than an outside perspective.

Sometimes, especially for people with fluctuating and/or global pain conditions (like CRPS, ME etc), using a mobility aid like a walking stick will simply shift the pain from the leg to the arm. Again, our judgement here will always be better than that of a nondisabled person.

Often, and this is the most important one to me, drawing our attention to back our pain when we desperately need to ignore it is often incredibly unhelpful. This part is more nuanced and by no means one-size-fits-all, but it is something that people who have never experienced chronic pain will never understand fully, so they need to be aware of it in writing.

It is not the same as an acute (temporary) injury like breaking a bone. You can't just imagine the last time you were injured and then imagine what it would have been like to have been injured for longer. It's a completely different ball game that requires completely different coping mechanisms.

We don't push through pain because we're being professional martyrs for the sake of it, we push through because we have things we need to do that won't get done otherwise. We don't have the luxury of acknowledging pain all the time, because if I tried that I would have been spending every waking moment thinking about it for years. Some of us are never, ever pain-free in our entire lives.

So please, when you're writing about characters in chronic pain and their interactions with nondisabled folks, please consider that nondisabled advice isn't always right, that we know our bodies better even than doctors will, and that nagging disabled people to change their own behaviour without their consent may not be as helpful as you think.

Above all, remember to give us representation where we have agency and motivations completely unrelated to our disability, because we do.

[thateclecticbitch]

Ouchie :'(