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hairyjocktf · 10 months ago

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Spring Break

Noah was pissed. Today was supposed to be the beginning of the best spring break ever. He’d planned a week-long trip with his college friends to New York City. They’d had it all lined up- museums, restaurants, sightseeing, it was perfect. But about a week before, Noah’s mom had called and delivered devastating news. They were having a family reunion that week. In rural Florida. Attendance was not optional. She’d bought his ticket already and there was no way out.

The day had arrived, and he solemnly made his way to the airport and flew to Tallahassee. They were meeting at his relatives’ place in the Florida panhandle, in the middle of nowhere. He’d been once as a kid and vowed never to go back. After a two hour drive from the airport he made it, driving up a dirt driveway to the massive, yet ramshackle, house in the forest. The next hour was a blur of greeting extended family, most of whom he barely remembered since they tended to stay out here in the country. After that settled down his mom came up to him, clearly very excited about something.

“Noah! You’re not gonna believe this, but since it’ll be a few more days before everyone’s here, your cousins Chevy and Logan are gonna take you out on a hunting trip! Just for a couple days,” she was nearly bouncing off the ground.

Noah groaned. That was the last thing he wanted to do. He had nothing in common with his cousins, and certainly did not want to spend time alone with them out in the swampy wilderness. His mom was not hearing any complaints from him though, and she dragged him out back to reacquaint him with his cousins. Chevy and Logan were chatting with each other on the patio, beers in hand, decked out in the camo hunting gear Noah assumed they lived and slept in. They were only a couple years older than Noah, but looked quite a bit older compared to the baby faced city boy.

“Ayyy Noah! What’s up, it’s been a while man,” Chevy walked over and gave him a bear hug, spilling some beer on his back.

“Hey Chevy, nice to see you too. I heard you guys were uh, taking me out camping,” Noah said unenthusiastically.

“Not just camping my guy!” Logan butted in, “We’re talking full on country backroads hunting boy’s trip! We’ll show you what you’re missing by being cooped up in the city.”

Noah’s heart sank; it was worse than he’d thought. They were gonna drag him out there and make him hunt? He didn’t like killing anything and worse, having to deal with the aftermath. He put on a forced grin since his mother was right there.

“Wow, that sounds real great guys, I can’t wait,” he said through gritted teeth. His subliminal messages to them were entirely lost.

“Hell yes bro! Here’s a pack with some of our extra hunting clothing, you won’t want a whole suitcase out there,” Chevy said, handing Noah a backpack. “We’ve got some extra gear that should fit you, it’s already in the truck. We’ll leave in 30 minutes, so get yourself ready.”

30 minutes?? That was immediate, he wouldn’t even have time to plead his case to get out of it. Begrudgingly he went back inside to get his stuff together. The next thing he knew, it was time. The boys were out front in their pickup truck, the back full of tents, camouflage gear, and who knows what else. Logan laid on the horn.

“NOAHHHHHH! It’s time to scram, let's get outta here!” Logan shouted over the blaring horn.

Noah groaned, this was setting the tone for the whole trip. He looked at himself in the mirror, the camo pants and hoodie just looked wrong on him. He for sure didn’t want his clothes getting covered in mud though, so he sucked it up and headed out front. Chevy grabbed his bag and tossed it in the back before climbing in shotgun, leaving Noah in the cramped back seats. And with that, they were off.

“There’s a real nice game area ‘bout an hour, hour and a half from here,” Logan said. “We’ll get in, set up a nice camp, then relax. Then at sunrise we’ll start you off with somethin easy, maybe a deer or boar,” he turned and looked at Noah, grinning.

Noah bounced around in the back of the truck as Logan drove through the forest on bumpy dirt roads. Chevy had put on some country music up front, and they were practically yelling to have a conversation over it. They tried talking to Noah about what he’d been up to, but Noah was sulking and gave only short answers. The sun was starting to hang low in the sky when they pulled off, offroading through some clear land towards a spot they’d clearly been to before. They stopped at a neat little clearing near a creek. It was objectively a beautiful little spot, but Noah was not in the mood to appreciate it, already swatting at mosquitoes swarming him.

“Alright man, you ever pitch a tent?” Chevy asked Noah.

“Uh, no, I haven’t”

“Well here, I’ll help ya out,” he said earnestly. “We’ve already got a well used spot here, so first we just lay out this footprint, and here let’s have you start with the poles.”

Noah fumbled around with the metal poles before eventually getting them together. He was frustrated, why would he ever need to know this? Chevy took the poles and got the tent up while Logan was still unloading the back of the truck.

“Alright we’re nearly done, just gotta secure it with these stakes,” he handed them to Noah. “Just stick these through the corner, make sure they’re deep in the ground now.”

Noah took the stakes and tried pushing them into the dirt, but they only made it about an inch in. He tried scraping the dirt away with his hands but that didn’t help. Chevy tapped his shoulder, holding a mallet as a suggestion. They’d just gotten here and already Noah was annoyed despite his cousin’s encouraging attitude. His hands were covered in dirt too, he hated being dirty! And he had no escape from all of it. He stormed off to the water’s edge in a huff while the other two finished putting their site together. The sun was really setting by then.

“Ey Noah!” Logan called, “Come have a beer with us man! We’ve got some chili cookin’ too, ya gotta eat somethin,” he laughed. Noah sighed. There was no point in sulking the entire trip like this, even if he wanted to. He walked back over and pulled a beer out of the cooler they’d brought and sat down.

“It seems his highness has decided to grace us with his presence,” Chevy mocked. Noah chuckled. He’d make it through this, even if it took all the beer in that cooler. The boys ate dinner and talked as the sun dipped below the horizon, with Noah actually giving some substantial answers this time. He was exhausted, having flown in and driven all day. He climbed into his tent to hit the sack. If he’d had a mirror in there, he would’ve noticed what looked like some dirt smeared on his face, just on his upper lip and the sides of his face by his ears.

Noah was abruptly awakened by Chevy shaking him. “Hey bro! It’s just starting to get light out, let’s get moving.” Noah groaned, it was his vacation and he was getting woken up at five something in the morning. He crawled out of his tent, banging his head on the pole; was it really that small last night? The boys were up and moving already, and Chevy handed Noah a granola bar to eat. “It’s a light breakfast I know, but we don’t wanna miss the prime time of the day,” he said softly.

Despite being exhausted, Noah’s annoyance was fading quickly. Maybe this would be a little bit of fun; at the very least it would be something different from normal. He scratched at his chin, his fingers brushing through the smallest bit of stubble that had sprouted overnight. Noah had never been able to grow facial hair, but for some reason this didn’t alarm him, it felt natural even. He put on his hat to hide his messy hair and began to chow down on that granola bar. As he did, that small amount of stubble began pushing out more, giving Noah a shadow across his jaw. It grew thicker, sticking out further until he had a rough, patchy beard. It made Noah look more natural in his hunting gear, aging him up just a hair. His clothes had also grown less baggy on him, attributing to an extra inch or two in height and some mass he’d never been able to pack on before.

Within a few minutes, they were off, trekking through the tall grass into the brush. Logan guided them to a denser pocket where they set up watch and waited for some wildlife to show up. Logan had told them he knew there were deer that tended to feed nearby, so they just had to be quiet and wait. The tension grew as time passed, and before he knew it, a buck had shown up in the clearing. Chevy had prepared him for this, and he took the shot. The deer went down, and Chevy and Logan cheered.

“Hell yes dude! Nice shot, especially for your first time,” Logan patted him on the back.

Chevy gripped him with joy, “It must be in your blood bro, you’re a natural.”

The adrenaline was coursing through Noah’s veins and to his surprise he was actually having a good time. He couldn’t remember why he hadn’t wanted to spend time with his cousins, they were chill, and this was turning out to be better than being cooped up in the house. The three of them carried the animal back, working together to hoist several hundred pounds. The sun was fully up now and it was humid. Sweat ran down Noah’s back, and he could smell the putrid stench coming off Chevy in front of him. He didn’t mind though, after all, that’s what a working man smells like.

The sweat was clinging to Noah’s damp skin, beading on his forehead. As he slogged ahead, carrying this massive weight on his shoulders, his body began to adapt. His twig like arms expanded with new muscle, his thighs exploded with size, and his chest produced an impressive set of pecs before softening with a layer of fat. The sweat and smell really began to soak into his skin, and under his sopping shirt small brown hairs poked up around his nipples. Those soft, small hairs didn’t remain so for long, sprouting from his chest, covering the expanse in a curly rug that was slicked down with sweat. Noah’s stubble was not to be left out, pushing further out of his face. Hairs wriggled out in the gaps between old ones, leaving him with much better coverage on his cheeks. Around his chin it even started to fluff up a little, coarse hairs puffing out.

They finally made it back to their camp, dropping the load and slumping into the chairs they’d left around the fire pit.

“We’ll have to gut and clean that in a minute, but here champ,” Logan handed Noah a beer. It was cold, and exactly what Noah needed against the oppressive humidity. “Here’s to many more,” he toasted, before chugging his own down. Noah was finally able to take a breather, and thats when he noticed.

He STUNK.

He raised his arms back behind his head, airing them out. The sweat drenched pits aired their stench to the world, but to Noah, he just matched his cousins now. The exposed pits had a few hairs plastered to the skin. As he sipped the beer and relaxed, more wisps of hair shot out from his skin, growing thick and wiry. What started as a few extra hairs quickly blossomed into a thick forest of hairs, tangling together and poking out of the sleeves of his t-shirt. The hairs itched as they grew in, prompting Noah to dig his fingers in there, scratching through the sweaty, smelly hairs. He didn’t question it, as far as he remembered he’d had hairy pits since middle school. The hairs spread out of his pits, connecting to the dense coating on his chest. The rug on his chest had started creeping upwards, reaching with thick tendrils of hair towards his burgeoning beard.

After a short reprieve Noah was back on his feet, jumping at the opportunity to learn from his cousins how to clean their kill. They were eager to teach him, to fold him into their ways. Noah’s distaste for his cousins, the country, hunting, all of it was evaporating. He felt like he had so much in common with them now, how had he never realized?

The rest of the day Chevy and Logan took Noah on a whole laundry list of activities they’d planned. Fishing, mudding, you name it. All hesitation had disappeared, Noah was in deep now. He kept drinking with the boys, not noticing that his gut was pushing tight against his shirt. In fact, his whole upper body was stretching out. His shoulders pushed out, growing broader. His frame was massive now, bigger than either of his cousins. He stood out on the edge of a pond in the harsh sunlight fishing, his shirt absolutely soaked with sweat that dribbled down his massive back. As it reached his waistband, it began fertilizing the growth of a new patch of hair right above his plump ass. The hairs sprung out of the wet skin, shooting up his spine in minutes. Before long the hairs had spread out across the wide expanse of his lats, pressing against the tight shirt. The fields of hair were thick, dense enough to darken the shade of his skin, and definitely didn’t help with the sweat situation. The hairs continued to spread, climbing over his round shoulders and down his arms, coating him with a wild fur that cemented his place out in the country. He was really starting to look like his cousins now, between his camo gear, hairy body, and beer gut.

When the three of them returned to camp that night, Noah was exhausted. He grabbed another can from the cooler and cracked it open. Putting up to his mouth, he tilted it a little too far, spilling foamy beer down his face and into his chest hair. He chuckled and half attempted to wipe the foam off. Where it sat in his beard, the hairs began to thicken and sprout. His mustache grew incredibly thick, making itself known above the rest of his scruff. His chest fur also took to the growth, turning into a real carpet that climbed up and out of his shirt collar. Noah let out a massive burp in response.

“Yo Chevy, we really gotta head back tomorrow? Shit rocks out here,” Noah said with a deeper voice than he’d ever had previously.

“Yea bro, Ma will skin us if we miss the reunion. But don’t worry man, I know you’ll be back out with us in no time,” he flashed a grin at Noah.

Noah went and dug through their bags, finding a lighter and pack of cigars. Now that the sun was going down, it was cool enough to enjoy being outside. He lit it up and took a hefty puff, his huge, hirsute body taking it in like a champ. Any thoughts about his old spring break, his old life, had been dragged through the mud and stamped out. All he wanted to do now was relax, listen to the sounds of the crickets, and spend time with his bros.

#male tf #hairy tf #bear tf #redneck tf #hair growth #hairy #hairy chest #hairy pits #hairy back #beard #my writing

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too-antigonish · 30 days ago

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Sunday Confessional: Feeling English…

I'm having feelings about the UK in general and England in particular because one of my distant English cousins just passed away. She lived a long, full life and reached a very ripe old age, but over the past few years I've very much wanted to visit her in person (it's been decades since I last saw her) and now I won't be able to.

Worth Clough Cottages where my 4x great-grandparents lived. Built 1814 by Lord Warren-Bulkeley for the miners at the Lord and Lady Coal Pits.

Part of my family came from Stockport to the US in 1862. They were coal miners in Poynton (now part of "Greater" Stockport) when the Lancashire Cotton Famine hit because of the American Civil War. What to do? Pull up stakes and become coal miners in America! Which was having a Civil War!

Wisdom of the move and its timing aside, the funny thing is that the folks who stayed in England and the folks that went to America stayed in touch. In fact we're still in touch 163 years later! I have copies of letters from the original siblings from the 1870s. I have newspaper clippings about various voyages across the Atlantic for visits in the late 1800s and early 1900s. In 1939, just before the start of WWII, two of them—David and Marjorie—came for an extended stay. I have the photographs.

1939 Picnic: English cousins with the Illinois cousins in California

Then came the war. David wrote lots of letters about what things were like in the UK and how he thought the US would have to join the fight. Of course we eventually did. My grandfather ended up in the army and was stationed in England and later in various parts of Europe. He spent all of his leave living with the English cousins and got to know them very, very well indeed.

After the war there were many letters, packages (especially while there was still rationing in the UK), and as often as possible, visits in both directions. One of those visits included me. It was the last trip that my grandparents were able to make to the UK. We spent three weeks in various parts of England, Wales, and Scotland but a full week of that time was spent staying with the cousins—who by now had moved to Bradford and Derby.

House in Bradford where my cousins lived

It was an amazing trip—even if we did spend what I thought was a rather excessive amount of time touring historic coal mines. This was perhaps because my beloved grandfather was only one generation away from the original family business and the side of his family that hadn't mined coal in Poynton? Well, they mined coal in Merthyr Tydfil.

Still, I managed to see enough of the above-ground part of the UK that you could probably attribute my undergrad in medieval studies to that single trip alone. Coming home, the US was just so painfully *new* and I've never quite gotten over it.

For a whole variety of complicated reasons, I haven't been able to make it back to the UK since. I'm still holding out hope that this will change at some point because I'd *really* like to visit again someday! Until then, I'll do video calls and trade photos with the remaining cousins and we'll see how much longer we can make the 163 year streak last.

Baby Antigonish. At the Bingley Five-Rise Locks on the Leeds-Liverpool Canal. Steepest flight of locks in the UK.

#the sunday confessional #the sunday free for all #completely evans-free and endeavour-free content #me just being sentimental and and a bit personal instead #but still UK...so tangentially related?#hopefully not *too* antigonish...

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mrs-johansson · 2 years ago

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Chapter 5: Avengers: Age of Ultron - Two Ghosts

Part 1:

“When can I meet her?” Dad asked as he came down to have lunch in my lab. “Soon. I want her to settle in, and I want her to have the hearing aid.” “And how’s that going?” He stood up and walked up to the table. “I’m just gonna run some more tests and we’ll see, maybe next week you two could meet,” I looked up at him.

“How is it that your friends have seen Katarina sooner than I would?” Dad had been trying to meet Katarina for months, but with James at the house and the setting time, I thought she could have a little more time. “Because they are not her relatives biologically. Clint helps me with babysitting and Natasha is… Natasha. Believe me, she’s worth the wait. I swear she has your attitude sometimes even though you two haven’t even met yet.” The proud and surprised look on his face was funny but also such a great feeling to see. “Okay show me some pictures then.”

***

The last couple of months have been hectic. Hiding James has been really difficult, but mostly for him. He couldn’t really leave the house without assistance and he was bothered by that obviously. Even though he’s very introverted and a house buddy, he wanted to get out there and explore the world on his own, which was not possible at these times.

So he stayed at home most days, spending time with Katarina and learning from within the four walls. He watched the news every morning and evening, surfed the internet for information, and read about the time he had missed.

We once visited the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, where he learned about himself and the war, but mostly about the Captain America we know now. James was so eager to know everything and be present that sometimes he got lost in what he actually wanted. He still didn't have a plan for what would come next. I tried everything to make him look further but he got stuck.

Meanwhile, Katarina was growing fast. She’s not even one and she has the abilities and looks of a 3 year old. She knows sign language to a full extent, which she learned in just a couple of weeks.

It is incredible to see how she’s developing day to day, but not gonna lie I miss the previous steps. I wanted to see her open her eyes for the first time, roll over for the first time and I’m not even gonna mention the first steps. I know I complain about great things but these are also great things to miss out on.

When I work, she’s in kindergarten from Monday to Thursday and on Fridays, she stays at Barton's. She already sees Clint and Laura as her uncle and aunt, and the kids as her cousins. They treat her like family, which I appreciate out of this world.

And Natasha, she’s here on most Saturdays, when Katarina is just full of joy. Nat is definitely her favorite, apart from me of course. They bonded on a deep level and it brings me happiness but also so much pain to know that we couldn’t work out.

Maybe if it wasn’t for the break-up, we would raise Katarina together. But it’s never perfect, is it?

On Fridays, which is today, I usually bring dinner to Clint’s house and we have dinner together.

Pulling up to the farm, I could see the kids and Clint playing outside, kicking a ball around. Katarina’s dark brown hair was gently braided into two little braids, and the pants she had on were basically dirty as the ground. She enjoys being outside since at home we only have a flat still.

The Bartons looked up to the sound of the car and Clint alerted Rina that I’d arrived, and she looked my way too. Her attention left the ball imminently and with those little feet, she started running towards me.

Seeing this was something that made me appreciate every little thing. She was getting older by the second and I wasn’t gonna miss one more minute with her.

I got out of the car and quickly rounded it before picking her up.

“Hi baby,” I gave a kiss to the side of her head, then put her back on the ground and kneeled in front of her. “Your hair is so pretty! Did Laura make it?” I asked. “No, Natasha.” Nat’s here? “Wow, she’s so cool, right?” She nodded. “How was today? Did you have fun?” “Yes, we painted. I made you something,” she took my hand and insisted on getting inside.

Getting the take-out dinner I picked up Katarina and made our way towards Clint and the kids. “Hey guys, I got us Chinese today,” I greeted the three of them. “Copper, why don’t you guys take the food inside? We’ll be there in a minute,” I gave him the bags of food and the three of them walked in, Katarina grabbing a hold of Lila’s hand.

“What is she doing here? She hasn't been returning my calls for over a week. And I know she wasn’t on a mission,” I turned to Clint. He looked inside then at me with a sigh. “I don’t know why she didn’t talk to you then, but now she’s here to talk. It seemed pretty serious,” he said. “Great, just perfect.”

Walking inside, the kids already settled around the table, Laura and Natasha unpacking the boxes. “Hi,” I said. Nat picked up her head and I couldn’t describe the look she gave me. “I was just saying the other to Clint, how much I craved Chinese but he didn’t get me any,” Laura’s voice made me look away. “Because it was in the middle of the night and we live on a farm,” Clint stepped in. “I’m glad your craving will be fulfilled,” I said.

Grabbing the plates, I had to step next to Natasha. “Nat,” I nodded her way. “Y/n.” The urge to read her mind was so tempting but I promised everyone that I won’t use it on them. “You haven’t been returning my calls,” I said as I reached the shelf.

“It wasn’t a phone conversation that I wanted to talk about,” she said. Voice tense, body language just strict. “We can talk after I put Katarina to sleep.”

***

Katarina insisted that Natasha would be the one who stays with her until she falls asleep, so I did the dishes so that Laura could relax a little, but she kept my company throughout.

“Dinner was weird,” she said. “What do you mean?” “You and Nat. What’s going on?” I stared at the water as it flowed through the sink. “It’s been strange for a while. She’s dictating herself from me, from us really. She canceled last week’s Saturday and hasn't answered my calls since. Of course, Rina asked for her, because she’s obsessed with her. But nothing. And last week too, like she was distracted at all times. And if it was work she would definitely tell me.” “Maybe she’s seeing someone,” she casually threw it out there. “You think?” I stopped the tap and dried my hands. “What else could it be? It’s Natasha, you and work were the only option she could be occupied with, but there’s no you anymore, and if it’s not work… Maybe she found someone,” the sad smile on Laura’s face was something strange. I know she loved us together but I didn’t think she would actually prefer us over other relationships. But she also probably knew something.

“So, can we talk?” Natasha walked down the stairs, and both of us looked her way. “Yeah, let’s go outside. Good night, Laura,” I said to the woman. “You too guys.”

As we made our way outside I played all the scenarios in my mind about what could happen. Maybe she did find someone and wants to disappear from my life, or maybe it is a work thing.

We were a great distance from the house and we didn't talk a word on the walk. Then she stopped at almost the end of the lot. “I know about Barnes,” her voice was filled with anger. “And?” I shrugged it off, trying to act cool.

“Y/n, are you insane?” She stepped closer, veins popping out on her neck. “He is dangerous! And you let your daughter around him? There’s a chance that he’s gonna be that killing machine again, and what are you gonna do then, huh? Or what if HYDRA finds him? That’s why you won’t let anyone over to your place! And what about Steve? You’re just gonna let him suffer and look for him when you know damn well that he sleeps in your bed, eats your food, and plays with your daughter every day.” “You have no idea Natalia how fucking hard it is for me! If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have found Katarina. I wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for him!” By now we were yelling at each other and I was glad the house was far away.

“I’ve been trying to help him settle in, to come up with a plan. But nothing. He doesn’t even want a glance at the future. For the past several decades he wasn’t Barnes, he wasn’t the Bucky Steve knows… But he’s trying to be the old him. He wants to learn and be human,” I explained but as I spoke she only got angrier. “How are you falling so easily into this? Y/n how can you be so naive after everything that happened?” Her hands spread to her sides, confusion hitting her face. “Naive?” I scoffed. “Every single day when I go home, I think he’s not gonna be there anymore. That he left, that they took him. For months I’ve been living on the fucking edge, scared to leave my daughter alone with him, scared to fall asleep next to him. I’m not naive, I just don’t want to make him feel even worse,” I said and turned around to walk back.

“No.” She simply said and I looked back at her. “No, you are just scared to be alone. You can’t be alone and you just won’t admit that,” she caught up to me and stood right in front of me. “Don’t ever talk to me about hating to be alone. I became a mother overnight, and I wasn’t gonna do this alone.” “But you are not alone,” Natasha took hold of my hand. But I took it away and shook my head. “I am.” “Y/n don’t shut me out now,” the want in her eyes was something I missed every day but I couldn’t let this happen. “I’m not shutting you out, but we talked about this. I can’t do this, not now… James is there and Rina, I-“ I stumbled over my words, didn’t even know what I wanted to say. “James…” She said quietly like she knew immediately. With the look she gave me, she definitely knew.

“You guys are a thing, aren’t you?” Her shoulders dropped. “We’re not a thing,” I looked away, shaking my head. “Oh don’t fucking lie to me. I know you, Y/n. You two are fucking for sure,” she got mad again, but mostly she looked disappointed. “What if we do? You have absolutely no right to question who I sleep or don’t sleep with. We broke up, Natasha. We ended things because it didn’t work. I’m sorry that I’m trying to move on. It hurts me like shit, that he’s not you, that it’s not us! I wanted you, Nat!” I yelled at her. She has no right to speak to me like that. “I wanted all of you. We had each other and now we don’t. So you don’t get to decide what I do with my life.”

***

“Good morning everyone,” Steve walked into the meeting room with Maria following him. Files in her hands she handed one to everyone. The team gathered around the table, while Steve presented our next mission.

“As you all know, we found another HYDRA Research Base. It’s in Sokovia, Europe. It is the base where we tracked Loki’s scepter and the plan is to retrieve it. The files have everything you need to know before we take off. Tomorrow morning we leave at 5. Any questions?” He looked around and everyone was silent. “Alright, see you tomorrow.”

***

Taking Katarina out of her seat, we made our way upstairs right away. It’s how the days go, in the mornings I drop her off at kindergarten and after work I get her and we go home to James.

After the meeting, I went to Stark Industries and we worked on some new projects and I finally finished Rina's hearing aid so I’m very excited to try it with her.

Opening the front door, I noticed the flat was awfully quiet. James usually is always on the couch when we get home, watching the news but now he isn't. The tv was turned off, no sign of James in the living room.

I shut the door behind me and put Katarina down, who took off to her room immediately. “James?” I called out once. Maybe he’s sleeping. I checked the kitchen and the balcony, but nothing. Bathroom empty. Then I made my way to the bedroom to see it was also without him in it.

And then I noticed an envelope. Lying on his pillow. My heart dropped and I couldn’t think of anything else other than he had left.

With shaky hands, I took hold of the envelope and saw my name written on it. Opened it and saw the handwritten letter. I sat down on the edge of the bed and read it.

Hey Doll,

We both knew this was coming for a long time now, but I think neither of us thought that it woulduld actually happen. I had to leave. For your and Katarina’s safety. I am a liability and it wouldn’t be safe for you two if I had stayed. I also didn’t want Steve to find me, he had enough trouble with me the last time we saw each other.

I won’t contact you and I don’t want you to contact me. The only communication I want is Katarina. I’d like you to send pictures to the address at the bottom every month. Just one picture of Katarina.

I am truly sorry and I promised I won’t leave you again, I am sorry that I broke this. But please forgive me, Doll.

Your James.

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 2 years ago

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Young American - Part 15**

This part is super, super happy and fluffy and funny and just basically a big ball of joy. I hope you guys like it!

Fic Masterlist

Warnings: unprotected sex

WC: 6.1k

Things had been looking up for Y/N. After her mom’s visit she felt a little lighter all around and it was good to know that at least one of her parents was willing to work through their points of disagreement to pursue a relationship with her. From what her mother was telling her, her dad wasn’t all that happy that she had caved and came to visit Y/N. So they were in a bit of a tiff over that, but Marcia didn’t regret her decision in the slightest and she made that very evident to Y/N.

And well, things with Harry had been taking off rather nicely. He was planning on going back to England for a week or so for his cousin’s wedding in the summer and he had asked Y/N to come along and she was thinking about it. Of course she wanted to meet his family, but she wasn’t making nearly as much money as he was and traveling to Europe was expensive. She didn’t even have a passport yet! She had just applied actually and was waiting to get it issued.

LA was all gloomy again and as much as she loved being in the shop, this was stay at home weather and it seemed like the clientele felt the same way because it was after lunch and the shop was dead, the phone hadn’t even rung today. Vy and G had taken to working on some new designs as they hadn’t really updated their portfolio in some time. Auree was in her office and Rosa was up front watching some TV on the couches, waiting for anything to happen. Y/N took to doing some inventory and naturally, this meant Harry was also stuffed into the little storage room nearly back to back with Y/N counting boxes of ink cups.

“Have you given any more thought to the trip to England?” Harry asked and she sighed.

“Baby yeah, of course I want to go. I’m just…broke.” She sighed as she put her clipboard down on the shelf before her and turned to see him already turned towards her.

“Well, how about I get our tickets and you don’t have to worry about anything.” He offered and she sighed.

“I don’t want to owe you.”

“You won’t be owing me. I want you to come, I’m inviting you! Besides, we’re gonna stay at my mum’s house, so lodging is free. It’s just the flights, you can save up for spending money and whatever else you want to do, but I’ve got the flights.”

“The $700 flights?” She asked with a small smile and he rolled his eyes.

“Money is meant to be spent, especially on things that matter. You coming to England and meeting my family matters to me.” He said and she sighed.

“I will think about it.” She said and he smiled.

“I don’t know why you think that’s gonna deter me from just buying the tickets.” He said reaching for her waist and she rolled her eyes. He was leaning in, just about to kiss her when her phone started ringing and startled them a bit. She fished it out from her back pocket and saw it was Julie and she felt nervous. “What’s wrong?” Harry asked as soon as Y/N’s smile faded.

“She had a check-up with her oncologist this morning.” She explained nervously and Harry frowned.

“Oh, is something wrong?” He asked with concern.

“They do check-in’s every couple of months since she had responded well to treatment and has been cancer free for a little while now.” She explained and he nodded. The phone stopped ringing and she looked up to Harry with glossy eyes and so much anxiety. Harry went over to the door and shut it before just pulling her into his arms, “I’m so scared.” She confessed with a shaky voice.

“Whatever it is, I’m here for you. I know that doesn’t really mean anything but-”

“Hey, no.” she frowned as she looked up at him, “That means everything to me.” She assured with a softness in her eyes that spoke volumes. Harry smiled at her as he grabbed her free hand and brought it up to kiss the back of it. “I love you.” She said quietly.

“Love you.” He reciprocated and then looked into her eyes, “Do you want me to go while you call back? Give you a little space?”

“No, stay. Please.” She said and he nodded as she opened up her phone and called back. She was squeezing Harry’s hand so tight as the line rang and it stopped. Sh held her breath and immediately frowned when she heard Julie sobbing Harry pulled Y/N into his chest as she too started to cry.

“Julie, what did they say?” Y/N asked, trying to sound composed.

“I’m officially in remission!” She sobbed, “I can’t believe this.” She cried and Y/N was relived to know that they were tears of joy. And she and Harry just cheered loudly and were jumping up and down at this incredible news.

“Fuck yes!” Harry shouted with the biggest smile as Y/N cried as well. Julie had gone through it quite bad during the worst point of her breast cancer so it was reliving to know that technically, medically, she had been cancer free long enough to be in remission or cured basically.

“We are celebrating tonight!” Julie sniffled and Y/N nodded as she looked to Harry.

“Yeah, let’s do it! We can pick something up to eat at the house?” She suggested and they ended up making a little plan and Julie said she would contact her friends to come over as well. “Thank you for calling, I’m so happy for you Julie. So fucking happy.” Y/N assured with a sniffle, “Love you.”

“Love you too, hon. I’ll see you at home later.”

“See you later.” She hummed happily before they hung up. Harry was smiling so wide that his cheeks hurt and when Y/N hugged him tight he squeezed back, his own eyes starting to tear up with joy. Julie was an exceptional person and she deserved to have a good and healthy life, she deserved to be free of this burden she’d been carrying for so long. Yeah, she wasn’t necessarily his family, but he almost felt like she was part of it. “Baby, I have an idea.” He said and she looked up at him and nodded, urging him to say it, “How about as a surprise you perfect her tattoo? I’m sure if we talk to Auree she’ll let you do it on her.” Harry suggested and Y/N smiled.

“Yeah, that’s actually a brilliant idea and I might need your help a bit.” She smiled and he nodded.

“Yeah, fuck this. Let’s go work on that.” He grinned.

The rest of the day flew by despite how slow everything else was going, but they were just both so happy about Julie’s news. Julie had wanted one of those “flower of life” tattoos, but Y/N wanted to add some more special elements to it that would make it more ethereal and Harry was giving great input. Finally, it was time for them to go and when they got to Julie’s there were already a few cars parked out front and as they walked up they could hear music coming from inside and Y/N grinned at Harry and he was smiling already as they walked up the front steps. She unlocked the door and as soon as they made it inside it smelled amazing and Julie and a good group of her friends were already at the table chatting and eating.

“Hello everyone!” Harry greeted them first as he toed off his shoes and Y/N smiled as she did the same and called out a greeting. Everyone was smiling enthusiastically and greeting them with waves or words as they approached.

“Congrats. I’m so happy for you.” Y/N hummed as Julie stood and Y/N hugged her tight. It was expected that they both cried together, obviously tears of joy, but also of relief. Harry didn’t know exactly what Y/N had been there for, but he knew that she had helped Julie a lot, especially when things got really bad. So if anyone understood her victory over this, it was Y/N. The person who had seen it and helped her and held her hand through it all.

“Thank you.” Julie sniffled, “I love you. Thank you for everything you did, you didn’t have to stay and you sti-”

“I wanted to.” Y/N assured as she drew back a bit, “You’re like a mother to me.” Y/N sniffled, “I would never leave you. I love you so much too.” She assured and Julie smiled and nodded through her tears as they hugged tight once more. The air in the room had shifted as the other guests just observed this little interaction with them for a few moments. When they let go Harry was a few steps behind Y/N, gently rubbing at her back as Julie finished saying something to her, but their hands were clasped together. Then it was his turn to greet Julie with a big, warm hug and a kiss on her cheek. She was so thrilled he had joined and she was so keen on Harry being around because she felt like Y/N deserved someone like him, who basically worshipped the ground she walked on. It made her happy to see Y/N happy after everything she had to endure with her. She always knew that Y/N didn’t mind helping, but she was just a kid when she came over to live with her and she dealt with a lot.

“Alright, enough tears! Go get some food.” Julie insisted and Y/N grabbed Harry’s hand and pulled him along into the kitchen. As soon as they got in Y/N leaned on the counter and let out a slow breath.

“You alright, baby?” Harry asked and she glanced up to his eyes and nodded.

“I just need a moment to process.” She said and he hummed as he grabbed her hands in his.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.” He said coming a bit closer and she sighed.

“It’s nothing bad.” She assured, “Quite the opposite actually, it just feels like everything is as it should be and getting better and it’s a bit overwhelming, like a lot of big feelings and I just need to sit with them for a sec.” She explained and he smiled at her, “What?”

“Nothing, I just love you a lot.” He shrugged and she grinned and then huffed.

“One more feeling to sit with, thanks.” She said with a playful little pout and he chuckled and tutted as he pulled her body into his own and held her for a bit until she was feeling better.

As soon as they served themselves some food they joined everyone else and had a great time chatting and getting to know each other better. A few of Julie’s friends had met Harry in passing, but now they were seeing why he was such a wonderful addition. He tended to be on the more quiet side, but he just felt so safe and comfortable in Julie and Y/N’s home that he knew they would never bring people in that would cause him harm in any way. When he had that realization in the middle of a story someone was telling he had an urge to cry. It felt like he finally found a place that felt like home and it did make him emotional. There was just this feeling of happiness in his chest that kept growing and growing the more time everyone was together, it almost hurt. But finally, around 11pm people started to leave and Y/N and Harry were just finishing up with washing dishes while softly singing along to the music still playing in the living room.

“Finally.” Harry said as he handed Y/N the last dish. He was sweet, she had an aversion to wet/soggy food and so he took it upon himself to do the washing while she dried.

“I know. Thank you for taking over, I was about to throw up.” She giggled.

“Yeah, I couldn’t tell from your gagging.” He said and she giggled.

“Sorry, I was really trying not to.” She assured and he smirked.

“Y’don’t need t’apologize to me. It reminded me of something entirely different actually-”

“Oh, shut up…” she scoffed through a laugh and he sniggered as she put down the last dish and he dragged her body into his.

“You pervert, it wasn’t that.”

“Sure…” Y/N said with a smirk.

“It wasn’t! It was domestic bliss.” He said with a giggle, “Like say I came home to find you struggling to do the dishes because there's lots to scrape off of a pot and so I just jump in and take over.” He shrugged and she smiled.

“That’s very sweet.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, I know.” He assured. “Now, should we get ready for bed?” He asked and she nodded. They said their goodnights to Julie and the last of her friends who were in the living room before they headed back.

“Want a shower?” Y/N asked Harry and he nodded. “You can go first then, I need to shave.” She said. Harry had a drawer in her room now so he was grabbing some sleeping clothes as she headed off to grab him a towel. Harry had already gone inside the shower when she came back with his towel, so she knocked and he told her to come in. “Towel’s on the rack. Baby, m’gonna get my make up off, OK?” She informed as she clicked the lock and then she saw him peek his head out of the curtain and she giggled at his sudsy hair, “What?”

“Are you gonna join me?”

“No, I need to shave my legs.”

“And?”

“And I need space.” She explained.

“I’ll do it for you.” He smiled.

“Only if you let me shave you next time.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, of course you can.” He assured and she grinned and proceeded with tucking her hair behind her ears before grabbing her makeup balm to get started. Harry rinsed out his hair and put in some of her conditioner before he started cleaning his body - he even had his own washcloth here, it was Cars themed and Y/N had given it to him as a little gag gift randomly and he just kept it here as he had no need for it at home. Harry was just wringing out the little washcloth when the curtain opened and he shivered. “A warning woulda been nice.” He hissed and she giggled as pressed a gentle kiss to the back of his shoulder.

“Sorry. Switch with me.” She said and he moved back to let her get under the stream of water and she let herself get drenched before reaching for her shampoo bottle.

“Let me do it.” He said and she nodded. He quickly rinsed his own hair and then grabbed her shampoo to wash her hair. She hummed at the way his fingers felt against her scalp; something about someone else doing this was extremely soothing. It was her favorite part of going to the hairdresser, “Rinse and then one more.” He said switching them positions and he held her hips as she rinsed out her hair and they repeated the step once more. Each time she rinsed he just took the time to admire her body. He loved every single inch of her. He then helped lather her hair in conditioner and she moved on to washing her body.

“-but close your eyes or turn around.” She said and he chuckled.

“Why?” He asked as she lathered up her washcloth with body wash.

“Because! I don’t want you to see me getting all up in my nooks and crannies!” She said as if it were obvious.

“Baby, in case you haven’t thought of this before, I’ve been all up in all your nooks and crannies.” He said with a grin and his arms wrapped around her waist now. “I just want to see you go over your boobs.” He confessed and she rolled her eyes.

“That’s rather quick.” She said and he shrugged, “Such a boy.” She teased and then he bit his lip and she felt his cock twitch a bit between their bodies, “SUCH. A. BOY!” Y/N laughed, flicking his chest with each word.

“I thought about it for a second too long.” He excused and after so much fuss Harry was wrapped around her waist from behind as she scrubbed her body clean.

She had no idea what had gotten into him or why he was being so lovey and clingy, but it was new and as much as she was acting a little bit stand-offish she loved this so much until…

“Harry.” Y/N’s body shook with laughter.

“What?”

“You don’t need to hold my ass open for easy cleaning access.” She said with a red face, for sure.

“Don’t worry, m’not even looking like you told me.” He said and she could handle this anymore, he was such a dork. She turned around and he was pouting. “Baby!”

“Stop it.” She laughed and reached behind herself to wash her behind, “Or we’re never doing this together again.” She warned and he rolled his eyes.

“Fine.” He huffed.

“You’re already gonna shave my legs.” She said as she rinsed her body off, “Now, if you want to be helpful open up the scrub on the little ledge up there.” She said. For space-sake she put her body scrub and razor up on the ledge of the little window. It was a bit of a risk for her to tip-toe in the wet shower and grab it, and she knew Harry would freak out if he saw that, so she just asked him to do it for her, “I need to exfoliate first.” She explained as Harry got on his knees without her even asking him to and he started to go over her leg that was hiked up on the edge of the tub now. He was gentle as he melted the scrub into her skin. It smelled like peaches and it made his mouth water. She then switched legs and he did that one as well.

“What about right here?” He asked as he placed a kiss to her mound.

“I don’t shave there.” She explained and he frowned. “I wax and if I shave it’ll ruin everything.” She explained.

“Can’t hurt to exfoliate though. Said it prevents ingrowns, right?” He asked and she laughed softly.

“Only if you’re very careful. Can’t risk t’get that inside.” She said and he nodded.

Harry grabbed only two fingers worth of the scrub before going over the top of her mound. She wasn’t waxed hairless, she did have a tasteful little patch of hair which Harry really liked, so she kept that same thing going. She saw it coming from a mile off as he leaned in and licked at her clit a couple times which made her gasp, and then he delved in further and really started going for it. Harry couldn’t help it, her pussy was so pretty and that fucking peach scented scrub was divine. He had an intrusive thought to lick her clean, the jar said “sugar scrub”, so he just went for it and immediately pulled away to spit it out and Y/N glanced down and started cackling as he wiped at his mouth with the back of his hand and continued spitting at the shower floor with a scowl on his face as he looked up to her.

“Why would you eat it?!” She laughed, gasping for air, moving aside to let Harry crawl under the scream of water to swish it around his mouth.

“It smells like peach rings and says sugar scrub!” He defended and she continued laughing.

“Baby, it’s still soap!” She shook her head.

“Well now I know.” He huffed as he pushed himself up to stand and she continued giggling as he grabbed her razor from the ledge of the window as well. “This too?” He asked of a little bottle of soap and she nodded.

“Yeah. And fair warning, it smells the same as the scrub, so please don’t eat it.” She joked and Harry rolled his eyes as he sat on the edge of the tub now. Y/N started giggling again and he glanced up to her. “What now?” He asked with a smile.

“I’m laughing at your penis. I’m sorry.” She giggled.

“What? Why?” He pouted.

“It’s just bobbing around and it’s funny.” She reasoned and he shook his head as he pumped some of her deliciously scented soap into his hand.

“F’you keep laughing at it, s’gonna have a hard time getting hard for you.” He warned and she smirked.

“Challenge accepted.”

“Yeah, alright.” He scoffed, “Foot on my thigh.” He ordered and she did just that and let him lather her legs with the soap and then he carefully started to shave her. He went over twice. The first time with the grain and the next time against and he placed a kiss on her knee before she switched legs. After he finished he helped her rinse out the conditioner from her hair and then they were drying off as best as they could in the shower to avoid making a mess and then they stepped out.

“I didn’t bring my clothes.” Y/N’s teeth chattered as she spoke.

“S’alright. You won’t need it.” He assured with a smirk and she chuckled as he leaned in to kiss her deep. While in there they brushed their teeth and before they stepped out of the bathroom he let her throw on his shirt so that she wouldn’t have to rush out in a towel.

“Way to finish all the hot water you sex fiends!” They heard Julie shout faintly as they walked across the hall.

“We didn’t fuck in the shower!” Harry shouted back and Y/N groaned in mortification.

“Oh my god…”

“S’fine, she’s fine.” He assured as he locked Y/N’s door.

Y/N proceeded to get some panties on under Harry’s shirt while he turned down the bed. Soon enough they were snuggled up in the dark, slightly trembling as they adjusted to the temperature beneath the sheets. Y/N smiled as he pulled her bottom flush with his front, he was still hard and it made her moan as he ground himself against her ass and his breathing grew ragged as his pleasure started to increase. The fingers from his right hand were digging hard into her hip, while the ones on his left hand squeezed her fingers that were intertwined with his own. His low groans of satisfaction made her grow wet quickly and she was soon throbbing with need.

“Fuck baby, can I put it in?” He asked desperately and she nodded.

“Yeah, please.” She panted.

Harry was quick to free up his hands and drag his shirt up her body to expose her breasts and then he felt around her panties before pulling the crotch bit to the side as Y/N raised one of her legs for him. Harry tugged his sweats down just enough to free up his cock before he started to thrust against her wet and warm labia, soaking himself in her arousal. After slicking himself up with a few thrusts his tip was pushing at her entrance. Harry moaned as he very gently pushed against the tight ring of muscles and as soon as the tip of his cock breached the entrance they both let out satisfied moans of relief. He eased the rest of his cock in over the span of a few thrusts and once he was in all the way he started to give slow and deep thrusts in and out of her. He held one of her legs up as he got in deep. She was whimpering as he got in from this angle. He whispered praises into her ear as he fucked her, making her feel on top of the world in every sense of the word. Her mind was empty as he pumped in and out of her, all she could feel was pleasure as he instructed her to rub her clit.

“Oh! I’m gonna cum!” She gasped quietly and he groaned and started going faster and harder. He guided her lifted leg down to wrap over his right leg, so that she could still stay a bit open and he just hugged her body before letting his hand roam up to her breast.

“So beautiful, babe.” He panted, “So perfect f’me. I can’t get over how much I love you.” His words were pushing her even closer to the edge, “Fuck, I’m gonna love you forever.” He mumbled against her ear and her skin immediately broke out in goosebumps and her heart nearly exploded in her chest.

“Me too, baby. Gonna love you forever.” She whimpered as the pleasure started to peak.

“Fuck, can feel you throbbing. Come for me, all over my cock, baby.” His words persuaded her into her orgasm and he moaned as her pussy grew slicker and warmer and tighter as she came undone with soft gasps and quiet, frustrated grunts as she tried to hold in her sounds. Harry’s cock sliding in and out of her was dragging her pleasure on, her body was buzzing. She could could feel her legs tensing up as she slowly got overstimulated and started to rub at her clit again, “Fuck yes, baby. I want you to come with me.” He panted and she nodded.

“OK, OK, OK.” She whispered her little chant as she searched for the pleasure in the overstimulation. Her eyes were squeezed shut. Their bodies were starting to get hot now and everything was feeling much more sensitive. Her walls started to tighten up and Harry moaned lowly.

“I’m right there. Fuck. Just hold it a little longer.” He pleaded and she was doing the most to wait for him and she was relieved when his thrusting started to slow down but his force was harder as he plunged deep into her, “Oh fuck, m’coming!” He gasped and she started to wither along with him. He squeezed her body even tighter as he shot his load into her with each gut-wrenchingly deep thrust he delivered, she could feel his warmth start to fill her up to the extent that he was leaking out. He was breathing so hard, fighting his hardest to keep quiet, he swore his head might explode from how good this all felt. He slowly came to a stop and kissed Y/N’s shoulder as they both waited the nice tingly feeling out silently, just their ragged breaths were the sounds exchanged between them now. He smiled when she brought one of his hands to her mouth and kissed the top of it as she placed it over her chest. He could feel her heart pounding and also as it slowly started to decrease in pace as it returned back to it’s normal beating pattern. “M’gonna get something to clean you up.” He whispered and she nodded. Soon he was back and had cleaned her up with a bit of toilet paper before he settled back into the bed and she turned to face him and she kissed him deeply.

“I love you so much.” he whispered.

“I love you too.” she smiled, “What’s gotten into you today?” She asked quietly and he shrugged.

“I don’t know, I just love how I feel around everyone here. I feel safe and like I’m at home with you. I don’t know, today was just a really good day. I’m just really, really happy today and I was just thinking about how I hadn’t really been happy in a long time and then you came into my life and I just…couldn’t help but be happy again.” He explained and she kissed his lips with a smile and combed his curls back a bit as he smiled bashfully. If it weren’t so dark she was sure she’d be able to see his cheeks stained all pink.

“You make me really happy too.” She whispered with a lump in her throat. She felt so much love for him that she had no idea how she was even alive to tell the tale. Harry felt a lump in his throat as well as he considered asking her something that he was thinking when they were washing dishes. He hadn’t lied, he was thinking about domesticity, but he had been picturing something much more complex than just doing chores together.

“Baby?” he started his question.

“Yes, my love?” She whispered back tiredly and he leaned in to kiss her lips quickly and she smiled against his own lips.

“H-have you-or actually, d-do you like…believe in…in marriage?” He asked and she felt her throat go dry and she wanted to answer but she was freaking out so she nodded, but it was dark and he couldn’t see. So he was starting to get nervous at her lack of response.

“Y-yes. Yes I do.” She finally got the words out and he felt like he could breathe again, “Do you?” She asked back into the darkness.

“Yeah, I do.” He hummed, “That’s what I was thinking about earlier…in the kitchen.” He admitted quietly, “Being married.” He sighed in relief as he got it out.

“T-to me?” She asked nervously and Harry let out a nervous chuckle.

“Yeah, baby. Who else would I be thinking about?” He asked and she grinned.

“Oh…I mean, could just be like a blank face. I don’t know.” She reasoned and he hummed, “Do you know what I mean?” She asked.

“Yeah, I do.” He agreed. He knew exactly what she meant, he had thought of marriage seriously a few times through out his life. The first time was when he was 14 and his grandad had talked to him about his wedding to his nan when Harry found a few old pictures of them. The second time was when he was 20 and went to a wedding and he imagined himself up on the altar in the future. The other time was when he turned 26, in his mind he would always be married by 25 - so that time was more of a solemn contemplation of it, but what all of these times had in common was what Y/N said. He would picture himself at the altar and then just a blank face before him. He had no idea who would be on the other side, but this time he had a face in mind and as scary as it was, it seemed like the picture was finally perfect, “And ummm, this is the first time that I didn’t see a blank face.” He shared, still feeling so nervous and vulnerable sharing this with her. The person that was literally the star of his hopes and dreams.

“Oh.” She whispered and he nodded, “Are you freaked out?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Not at all. That’s more because I was scared to tell you.” He confessed, “Are you freaked out?” He asked and she exhaled.

“A little bit, but not in a bad way. More in a way of…excitement?” She said and he chuckled, “Yeah. I mean… I’m one for daydreaming and after I fell in love with you my mind just wanted to put a face to the fantasy and I just wasn’t letting myself go there with you because I…I’m scared I guess, to put your face there and then we…” she trailed off and he hummed in understanding. She didn’t need to say it, he was scared too, but he found that facing his fears was not as terrifying when he had her by his side, “So it was just exciting a bit because I feel safe to do that now.” She confessed and he was smiling now.

“Does it feel good to see my face when you think of that?” He asked and she leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips and they both smiled against each others’ mouths.

“Yeah, you’re a perfect fit.” She whispered to him.

“So are you.” He assured her with a smile, “That’s why I want you to meet my family.” He brought up again and well, in light of this conversation she felt that yeah, she should go meet his family.

“OK, lets do it.” She said and he kissed her.

“Yeah?”

“Yes.” She hummed and he searched for her hand and intertwined their fingers.

“You’re gonna love everyone so much!” He said excitedly, “They already like what they’ve heard about you, but having you there in the flesh? God, they’re gonna love you. I bet you right now that my mum and nan will cry when we go.” He said and she laughed quietly, “So… would you want a little wedding or a big wedding?” He asked and she smiled.

“Little. In the last few years I’ve even just considered eloping…just ‘cause things haven’t been great with my parents, you know?”

“Yeah.” He responded, “That’d be nice though. Just us. In a little corner at the beach we went to? That’d be nice.”

“Yeah.” She whispered with a smile, “I’d get married anywhere you want as long as you’re the one I’m exchanging vows with.” She said without really thinking about it too hard, it was just the truth. When Harry kissed her so passionately it did catch her by surprise, but she easily melted into it and into the mattress as he hovered over her and ground himself, already hard against her center. She whimpered against his mouth as he rubbed into her clit that was still a bit sensitive from before.

“Sorry, baby. I’ve got a raging love-boner.” He mumbled and she smiled.

“S’alright. Just go slow.” She said and he nodded and slowed down the roll of his hips to work her up again.

“I-is there like a time frame you have in mind for when you want to be married by? Or like are there things you want to accomplish before?” He asked before kissing her and then they split up to allow her to respond.

“Not really. I just wanted to be a bit more independent, you know, financially? What about you?”

“Well at this point, at least by the time I’m 30.” He said and she smiled, “So…soon-ish?” He smiled.

“Oh, ok.” She giggled.

“And well I do want to see your ugly side first, just to know what I’m getting into.” He teased and she giggled.

“I don’t have an ugly side. I’m a god-damn delight! You should know that by now.” She joked and he chuckled.

“Sure…”

“Baby, don’t you think you would’ve seen it by now if it was worse? I mean, the worst I am was like our valentine’s day fiasco. Where I was just really rash and avoidant.” She explained.

“That’s true… and well, you’ve seen my worst.” He mumbled with a little embarrassment and she cupped his face and kissed his lips gently.

“Yeah, and I still fell in love with you, so whatever. Right?” She hummed and he smiled.

“Right.” He agreed.

Harry felt right now what Y/N had said earlier, that everything was falling into place. He was just excited to see how everything would develop. He was so hesitant about love and soulmates after everything he had endured, but she shone so fucking bright that it made him hopeful that things could be really, really great if he just let the past go. Harry had never been in love like this before. He just knew that when they went to England and his family got to meet YN, he’d be leaving with the intention to ask her to marry him. But now he just knew that when they got to meet Y/N and saw how perfect they were together they would be encouraging him to take the next step. It was important to him that his family loved her as much as he did and he was completely confident that, that wasn’t going to be a problem.

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Once again, I've tagged some people who usually like or reblog, but feel free to let me know if you don't want that:)

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dunne-ias · 9 months ago

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A quick roundup of my BaCC families now that generation 1 have become elders and a lot of stuff has been unlocked

So, I won't be like, posting about this BaCC other than a nice picture here and there and occasionally bragging about my scoreboard, but here's some pictures I took, not wanting to spend too much time on posing, to commemorate the state of families. At this point, basically all families are somehow connected. Blame Frona and Armand.

A note on names: I asked Behindthename to generate five names, male, female and both from basically all categories on their list and I just pick whatever names on that list I like the best. Sometimes I'm not sure if the name is male or female, but I've decided that my sims don't care, so neither do I :), but all names were randomized and so is most things that require some sort of decision on my part.

The Oberst Family

Nerys Oberst (man with grey hair) is the town's electrician and architect. He married Charles Seevey and they had three kids. Kiyo and Padmini, both married to Leslie-Barretts, moved out, but Petruska, lady in red, remained to take over the Electronics store. She married Roger Mogensen. They had quadruplets and then right after there was a broken condom so all their five kids are almost all the same age. From the left: Rizpah (the single birth) and the quads: Tullio, Alexandr, Ivo and Mindy.

The Kohout Family

Gordana Kohout is the town's mayor after winning the popular vote on Day 1. She married Veronica Chung to her right (she's close to becoming an elder herself) who was the town's only teacher for along time. Together they had three kids, twins Essi (far left) and Liam (moved out, married to an Ayers), and much later Gideon (middle). Essi married Morrigan Leslie-Barrett and together they have a daughter, Freya. More are likely to come. Gideon is working on setting up Brightshroom Island's first football team and will soon be moving out. I have no spouse planned for him yet.

The Mogensen Family

This one is a bit of a mess. Seated in the short hair is Albina Mogensen, the town's first carpenter. She ran a successful furniture store that she has now turned over to her granddaughter. She married Sophie Tellerman who founded Brightshroom Island News, the local paper and together they had twin sons. Roger is now married to Petruska Oberst and can be seen in photo nr 1, but in his teens he got Lizzie Leslie-Barrett pregnant and she gave birth to Margarita (second from the right). Lizzie later married Roger's brother Theofil and are the couple in the back. Other than Margarita, the couple also had four children. Teresia who leans on Albina, teenaged Roderick, Dragomir in the middle and not pictured: Florentina because ugh posing babies amirite? Margarita runs Albina's old furniture store and has also started up a hobby shop that sells all kinds of art and hobby supplies. She married townie Kerie Comier and had two children: Elaine sitting in her great-grandmother Sophie's lap and their son Harrish who is somewhere sleeping because again, ugh posing babies amirite? Teresia is an adult now too, and will be moving out to live with her cousin and bff Juniper in the next round. Roderick is close to adulthood and will also be moving out to live with his BFF, Natasha Ayers. I think that Theofil and Lizzie might move to a place of their own with their youngest kids too because this household is full and very stressful to play.

The Leslie-Barrett Family

Ho-boy. Frona Leslie ran the town's art store where they could buy home decorations etc. She married Armand Barrett and I liked both their names, so they've been the Leslie-Barretts ever since. Armand never had a job but did most of the child raising and boy were there a lot of children. Six, to be exact. First, a pair of twins, girls Lizzie (from photo nr 3) and Caron (coming later, married to Kiyo Oberst). Then another daughter, Morrigan (photo nr 2, married to Essi Kohout). Then came another set of twins, a boy and a girl this time, pictured on the far left and right of this picture; Sophia, who now works as a carpenter who sells kitchen furniture, eventually married Padmini Oberst but it took some time because they're both romance sims and those three bolts apparently wasn't enough to get engaged and married wants until much later. Before this, Sophia had a fling with a townie whose name I can't remember, but led to boy in blue there, Dali Leslie-Barrett, and later Padmini and Sophia had a child together, Talia. On the other end of the picture is Brentley, who took over the art store. He married townie Nathen King, and I also liked THAT name, so I didn't know what to call them and eventually decided there were enough Leslie-Barrett, so they're the Barrett-Kings. Together they have two sons, Conall is the elder on the right, and Sonder was born shortly thereafter. Frona and Armand also had a sixth child, a daughter named Meriem who lives with her boyfriend Erling Ayers. I think Brentley and Nathen are going to move out when a suitable house opens up. The Leslie-Barrett home is large, but there's a lot of sims to keep track of. Or Sophia and Padmini moves. I haven't decided. Might roll the die.

The Ayers Family

Sham'a Ayers, the towns criminal (lol gotta have one of those I guess), married Amar Jordan, a chef. Together they had three children. Twins Erling (to the right) and Darragh (who married Liam Kohout) and Natasha who recently became an adult. Erling moved in his girlfriend Meriem Leslie-Barrett in the yellow skirt and together they have a child, Evan. There's no marriage wants yet and it might stay that way. Natasha found a rare three bolt townie even though she's not a romance sim, and married Breanna Guevara the day after adulthood which was like, yesterday. She's already pregnant, and her and Breanna will be moving out at the end of next round. They'll also move in Roderick Mogensen, who is Natasha's best friend in the whole world.

The Oberst Family 2

Kiyo Oberst and Caron Leslie-Barrett somehow, despite being a pleasure and romance sim respectively, very quickly threw engaged and married wants and I pounced on it very quickly. Caron is the local Florist and Kiyo helps her out in her store. They had Juniper out of wedlock, and she has just become an adult and will be moving in with her best friend and cousin Teresia Mogensen. A little later, Leva was born and I think that's going to be enough for these two.

The Kohout Family 2

Liam Kohout married Darragh Ayers after much ado because she didn't like that he was unemployed at first, but once he started working for Albina Mogensen as a restocker, their chemistry improved much. Darragh runs the local clothing store that also sells rugs and curtains and other things she can make on her sewing machine. Liam helps her out whenever he's not busy with working for other people. Together, they have one daughter, Aurelia.

The Beck Family

I recently unlocked a subhood and made it a farmer's commune. That also meant I got to make a new sim, and because the population had grown so much I had two CAS-points. The die landed on making a pair of siblings, so this is August and Britta Beck. So far, they run the farmer's market in the farmer's commune where they are the only residents (so far). I've only played half a round with these two and not much has happened yet except August has befriended the local pack leader so we'll see how that goes.

#ias plays a bacc #sims 2 #Brightshroom Islands

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borreloadsavagedragon · 2 years ago

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20 and 21 for Kaito!

kaito posting……… we know how this will go down

20. A Weird Headcanon

What a perfect question to submit so I can talk about the Tenjo Cousin concept that Sorrel has me hooked on 👁👁

So one of my all time favorite headcanons to write fic and conversation for is how Yusaku and Kaito are actually related, they’re cousins now, I said so

A lot of it traces back to similarities in their characters, in their interpersonal relationships and friend groups, but also the fact that Yusaku uses Photon Thrasher in a duel against the Hanoi before he uncovers the Cyberse pile deck left by Ai

Like out of every card you could have used, Photon Thrasher, from an archetype we have canon confirmation for being created by dimensional science…………. interesting pick! I’m NOT gonna focus on it!!! (lying)

I love just finding a way to make them work as a family dynamic, but I also just want to give Yusaku a strong blood relative to go with the strong found family he’s already made, I like to make these loners feel a bit less lonely

Galaxy also being one of the Zexal anime decks that has a Link monster is v cute

Also looove theorizing Kaito’s background and what could have been, like why does he have the same diamond pattern on his turtle neck that Rio does on her out of school wear, and in a related note why does he look so much like his dragon in both his hair design and the previously mentioned outfit, just all those little details and where they could have been going-

One fic I’ve been working super hard on in hopes to publish is a post-canon AU that’s a focus on reincarnation and the power of human spirit and it’s mostly a project to answer my own lingering questions on certain aspects of Zexal canon, it’s very GoT/HoTD inspired and takes some of the pre-established history with warring kings but add slightly more politics, extra battles, and also dragons, but told through memories during some post canon conflict that ties it all together, one day I’ll actually make a post about it but for right now it remains a brainchild with 3 outlines and a 10k+ lore outline

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

Oh this is a good question

Ok so, preview for part of the analysis essay but-

It’s actually kind of sad because most of Kaito’s pictured happiness in BOTH spin-offs he appears in is all very past tense. Like, beside his general demeanor and the obvious instances, Kaito’s color palettes are a lot brighter in both the time he spends in the family cabin and in Haruto’s baby days in Zexal and in the Arc V High School tournament flashbacks, he’s also essentially never shown frowning anytime the shows recall him before current canon. The way they utilize color with Kaito’s regression into himself is brilliant, he’s the brightest thing in the hallway of Heartland Tower when Haruto is taken from him, he’s one of brightest things in the rain when Chris leaves, but water is going to darken the colors he’s wearing, another thing to really show that this moment is the last thing that pushed him into being Kaito who we recognize

I want to do more color analysis for him in canon too but that’s not the question fjdhdhsbdb

Despite that, I’d actually argue Kaito’s happiest in the end of Zexal(and Arc V but that’s a slightly different subject, end of the tunnel is similar!!), because he endured and arguably survived everything that came to break him, moon duel pending since the Code basically said lmao to that.

He allowed himself to open back up after being cast aside and was rewarded for it because not only did he make new everlasting bonds, but all of these people who left him and left a such a heavy mark on him came back to him. They not only came back, they’re brought back to him apologetically after acknowledging the things they did to him.

Kaito doesn’t get to do much in Zexal II mostly because the show got a little messy with bringing in more cast and having a few plot threads that actually needed to be wrapped up that had to take priority, but IMO he does arguably get one of the best ends in Zexal, Arc V is a weird second element that’ll get its own discussion piece one day

#THANK YOU MERRY #I will always kaito post #he is #my onion #yugioh zexal #kaito #asks #answered #kaito tenjo

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lunapwrites · 2 years ago

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In not writing related news, I've been doing the world's laziest (and therefore unofficial) version of the not-so-berry challenge in the Sims, and... Well this has been a learning experience for me for certain lol.

If anyone cares, I'm going to go into a little more detail below a cut here. Spare the rest of you lol.

First, with regards to my play style: I am insanely impatient. I play fast. I also rush my Sims into the first relationship I can get them into and then curse them with massive families because I love character creation and also drama.

Second, the reason that I am firm on this being a loose/unofficial version is because I am that impatient and while I do my best to keep everyone's needs up natively, I am prioritizing my story over the strict challenge rules and thus am absolutely cheating needs when necessary. I am not, however, cheating skills or money (beyond the game start when I used the money cheat ONCE, and I have not used it since) or career/aspiration requirements. I'm doing all of that manually.

So with that said... I have become wildly invested in this family. And I have favorites, 100%.

Mint Gen (Julep) was alright, definitely fun to play with the scientist track which I don't think I've messed with much. And I never play jealous Sims because a bitch loves poly, so that was new to me. But she was just straight up vibing with her chef husband and their six kids and her clone lol. I definitely should have moved them into a bigger house but meh lol.

Rose Gen (Jasper) was hard for me on many levels. I love poly, but I don't love players. I also didn't love being restricted to one child, but it did give me time to get all his skills up early so there was that. And also the politician track was legitimately difficult for me lol. I hate having to carve out time to go socialize. But this gen was when I really started finding a story, and like... it was genuinely such a little soap opera lol. Either way it made Yellow Gen (Midas) grow up in such a chaotic environment, as intended lol.

And when I tell you that Midas was my favorite... Literally my golden boy. I had so much fun with his story, and all the drama and the complicated family dynamics and the ANGST and I was actually legitimately sad when he died. Like he had finally kicked the juice habit, was happy and thriving, took his first day off from work ever just to spend time with his grandkids and mind his late wife's garden, and then... Boom. Right at the mailbox as all his kids came home from work. I knew it was coming. I was watching for it. I set him up for a good last day. And I was still devastated. He deserved the world. I could go on forever about him honestly. My sweet baby boy. 😭

His Grey Gen child (Gris) has been fun, too, but while she's 100% the hot one, and the messy one, she's... IDK. Maybe now that she's getting into her post-dad, get-out-of-the-house-and-settle-down era I will vibe with her a little more. She's got a lot of opposing bits going on but I'm really leaning into her fame to try and give Plum Gen a boost.

No idea what that is going to be like, because it's another one that runs very counter to my usual style lol. But Iris is doing great on her skills so far so we'll see what happens lol. Lots of first born AFABs in this family.

Anyway, that's just the main line. The eldest child of the eldest child, etc. The secondary lines have been out there WILDING. I check the tree every so often to get the latest tea and like. Midas' cousins were doing some INTERESTING partner swapping, and then his half-brother (Mom's son) married their mom (his dad's brother's widow) lol. Not my circus, but still damn fun to watch from the stands lmao.

IDK. I'm way too invested in this lol.

Here's some pics of my good lad during his briefly happy youth and also deep in his depressed-widower-passed-out-on-the-couch era

He had a perfectly good bed (his bed!!) that was entirely open. What a goober. I miss him already. 😭

Also if anyone does want to know more about the story, I will be more than happy to share in detail lol. I am also tracking the ENTIRE family tree using Plumtree, so I can uh. Show that too lol. Just let me know.

#sims 4 #sims 4 challenge #not so berry #kinda #I'm in this for the story #and the character creation #and my sweet baby angel who i stupidly forgot to save 😭#IDK why i didn't do that. big dumb.#lp sims

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cobycobsy2k · 1 year ago

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Alternative, Season 2, Episode 15: "School Crush"

Pleasantview Public School

Angela and Ella were talking about everything they were going to do over the weekend.

Ella: Wow Angie you're lucky your parents signed you up for ballet classes with me!

Angela: Obviously Ellie! Although I imagine that your mom did enroll you in those piano classes… How boring, by the way, how long does detention last? My mom will find out that Lilith got into trouble again.

At that moment the twins Mandy and Mike Caliente-Bachelor arrive who came to bother the girls.

Mandy: Wow, wow, it's Angela Pleasant and Ella Goth! What a loser! Good thing you're NOT going to my super barbie girl pool party!

Ella: First of all we didn't even want to go anyway, could you go show off somewhere else Mandy?

Mandy: Ugh, see ya Silly! My mom and dad will help me throw the best party in the world!

Mike (while giving the black-haired girl a hug): Sorry Ellie, you know Mandy can be an airhead, and even more so with all this party stuff, see ya!

Ella: Mike is kind of cute, too bad he has such an idiot sister like Mandy!

Angela (Confused): Mike Cute?, Did you freak out Ellie?, eww…Mike doesn't even know where he's standing…

Ella: Ahh but you like Dustin! Aren't you jealous? ha ha

Angela: What happens is that Dustin is a true gentleman, he is super sweet and kind, from time to time I help him with homework!

At that moment Dustin, Dirk and Rose arrive.

Dustin: Hey girls!

Angela and Ella: Hi Dustin! Hi Dirk and Hi Rose!

Dirk: And where is Lilith?

Angela (rolling her eyes): She's in detention, oh look, she's already out!

Rose: Mandy invited me to her "Super Barbie Girl Pool Party" at her house, and I'm not going.

Dirk (Annoying her little sister a bit): And also remember the "little joke" you pulled on me!

Rose: Sorry, it was just because she was bored and you wouldn't let me watch TV!

Dustin: Hey Ella, you look so pretty today!

Those words made Ella blush, who was looking at Dustin with a little smile, on the other hand Angela was petrified when she heard that.

Angela (Trying to get Dustin's attention): Dustin I'm having my soccer practice today! Will you come see me?

Dustin: Sure Angie!

Angela had a crush on Dustin since they were both 5 years old, although Dustin also felt the same way about her, he was also beginning to have a crush on her friend, Ella Goth.

Later

Dreamer family home

Rose and Dirk had invited Lilith to spend the afternoon with them, while the three of them were talking, Darren and his new wife Gabriella (Rose's biological mother and Dirk's stepmother) were talking.

Darren: Wow, kids grow up so fast! It seems like yesterday when Dirk was 2 and Rose was just born haha…

Gabriella (hugging her husband): Yes dear! I'm really happy to be with you and our children! By the way, if you knew who called me yesterday.

Darren (Confused): Who?

Gabriella: My cousin Aldric called me, he told me that his baby was going to be born soon, I'm really happy for him! Don't you remember when he, Almeric and my sister Lola got drunk at our wedding?

Darren: Yeah haha! It was all a lot of fun!

At that moment Dirk and Rose arrive, who were talking about Mandy's party.

Dirk and Rose: Hola Mamá, hola Papá!, ¿Que tal les ha ido hoy?

Gabriella and Darren: ¡Hola hijos!, How was your day today guys?

Rose: Good! I was invited to a "Super Barbie Girl Pool Party"…

Darren: Really Rosie? Honey, our daughter was invited to a party! What about you Dirk?

Dirk: Ehmm, I didn't get an invite, but I think I'll go with Rose.

Gabriella: Sounds good son! It sounds good that the two of you go and enjoy a nice moment!

Later at the Bachelor-Caliente family home

Mandy was giving her "Super Barbie Girl Pool Party" not to say "Little Jacuzzi Party", she and Mike together with her parents Dina and Michael had bought some things to make everything fun.

Rose (Whispering to Dirk): Wow… And this is what we're supposed to be here for?

Dirk (Whispering to Rose): It would have been better to stay home…

Mandy and Mike: And now, we're going to sing a SUPER iconic song that everyone should know!

At that moment the two turn on the radio and begin to sing a little out of tune, the only ones who applauded were Michael and Dina.

Dina: Bravo Mandy!! Show all these losers who's boss!

Michael: My kids will be the next popstars in all of Simnation!!

#sims 2 #sims 2 uberhood #cobycobs alternative uberhood #ella goth #angela pleasant #dirk dreamer #rose dreamer #mandy caliente #mike caliente #darren dreamer #gabriella dreamer

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occult-roommates · 2 years ago

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Mom's new bestie

After work, Matteo came back home, with Daniele who wanted to spend the weekend with his family for once. He expected to see his mom, Isabella, busy designing new dresses somewhere in the house, but no, she was chatting on the couch, laughing with a woman he had never seen in his life. They clearly were in a deep conversation, so he didn't want to interrupt them, but he felt curious.

Matteo: Mom, who is that? Isabella: Matteo, this is Farida, I met her yesterday at the conference I attended about spellcastresses and matriarchy. Farida, this my son Matteo, I met him when I gave birth to him. Farida: Hi Matteo. Matteo: Are you really wearing that god awful hat again? Isabella: I am wearing it to show my support to you, because you are my son and I love you. Daniele: Yeah but he's right. Forest green with a ribbon the pastel color of the trans flag? Awful. Good message, but not a slay. Isabella: And this, Farida, is my homosexual nephew Daniele. I adopted him when his parents rejected him when he began losing his power as a child.

Whatever, Matteo can just go to his bedroom and let his mom be happy with her little new friend.

Daniele: You look familiar. I think I saw you somewhere before. Farida: Unlikely, last time I went to San Myshuno was in the 90s, unless you saw me elsewhere. I live in Oasis Spring. Daniele: I have a friend who's from there, his name is Dawud Sahan. Farida: ...That is the name of my son.

Oh, yeah that's right. Dawud had mentioned his mom was in town that week. What were the odd. Well, how funny it is that it seems like his aunt is getting along with her, the same way he's getting along with Dawud. Then, he went to his old bedroom too as he had nothing else to say.

Isabella: You didn't told me you had children. Farida: Oh, I only have one son too. I wanted at least two kids, and at least one daughter, but it never worked out. Isabella: And what about his father? Cause you mentioned you're single, so... Farida: Um, well he's dead, but I'm not really a widow. We divorced a few years before. It's sad, I really should have listened to my mother. Isabella: What do you mean by that? Farida: You see, my ex-husband and I were both born in the city of Basra, in Iraq, and we both moved to Arizona when we were children...Though we actually didn't met back then, as we grew up in different cities. My cousin, however, did grew up in the same as him and so, when I moved to Oasis Spring for college, my cousin made me met my ex right away. We fell in love pretty fast and six months later, we were married. I was 18, he was 19. My mom scolded me pretty hard, she could not stop us as we were adult even if very young one, but she believed I was worth better than getting married at that age. As to make this worse, I wanted children right away, while still in my freshman year of college. My mother was pissed, she did not abandonned her entire life for her daughter to be a housewife before turning 20.

"Thankfully", either her or Rashid probably had some fertility issues. She tried for years and years to get pregnant, and the few times she did succeed, it ended up having a miscarriage. At least, it gave her the time to graduate and start her adult life without also having to worry about taking care of an actual living baby. Then, shortly before her 7th wedding anniversary, Dawud was born.

However, since Farida really, really wanted a daughter, they went through the trouble of conceiving again. Then it happened, they were gonna have a girl aaaand...she was a stillborn. Every single dead fetus put an extra strain on their relationship, and now an actual dead baby was just the extra little thing to make their mariage also non-viable. This time, after seven years, they decided to divorce.

Isabella: Oh, I'm so sorry. It must have been so rough for you. Farida: Well, I'm fine now. I'm just sad I never got to have my own little girl. My best friend, who I met in a mommy group when I was expecting my son, had a girl and I'll admit, I've always been a little bit jealous of her. Isabella: But is your son healthy? Is he making you proud?

After a long moment of silence, Farida simply followed with:

Farida: ...I think he's healthy.

Prev - Next

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 simblr #sims 4 story #sims story #ts4 story #occult roommates #farida alwan #isabella rossini #matteo rossini #daniele rossini #dawud sahan #rashid sahan #OcRo s2 #long post

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aforismosfraudulentos · 8 months ago

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When death meets me

I was 6 years old, playing hide and seek with my sister, when death was in the next room with a coffin.

An uncle of my mom had died. Whose existence I only remember because of his house: a big orange ball of light hanged from their ceiling in a small room that had an electric piano, an interior display legitimate to the 70’s. A home that I can only remember because of the bizarre imagination I put onto it, the play and amazement that a child’s mind can bring to it.

I hid behind an extinguisher, as my commitment to play didn’t hinder my eye potential capacity to find where to place my self in a space where only dead and grief can be displayed. But I got called by my mom, who just reminded me somebody I knew was laying in the next room. I couldn’t understand why would we have to stay there all day, as I maybe thought, they need to sleep comfortable. And comfortable meant in their own company. I was offered to watch the lay there, and I didn’t want to disturb the deep sleep. However, I even knew then that they weren’t dreaming.

The next time I greeted death up-close, I was 17. It came for my grandfather, my mom’s father. The second grief on my mom’s family. It had been years he had been dealing with prostate cancer. As I remember being told, he died laying in bed, with my grandmother’s hands holding his; the news where told upon us as we were letting our presence reach their house. I remember crying once I was accompanying his coffin in the funeral; I was looking at his face and I could only feel the fear of what death would feel like. Because his life was intact: the memories I grew up with being taught his likeness of chess, of candy, of forgetfulness, his thousand pockets vest, tennis, Skyping with my aunt and cousins in Canada, and all his books in their library, all of that is still alive. And it only dawned me when he was on his deathbed, that I wish I could’ve been more human and older to have retained more of his life onto mine.

The last supper I had with death, he took my 17 y/o cat. She had a hard time with dental and kidney issues. She was small and thin. She got cold but had appetite. She didn’t liked anything more than tuna the last year. She was my sister’s and mine fur baby. The week before she had been spending her time alone, snoozing in our beds and staring blankly at nothing. I just knew, in a cat language, she felt vulnerable to look me in the eyes, as I was too. When there was no longer force on her to move, she laid on her side. Me moved her to the living room, resting in towels on the rug she had puked many times. My mom slept with her the night before. And she just laid there, and I laid on the floor with her. Watching straight into her black eyes, non responding anymore, to me and my family’s assurance that it was okay to let go. And so she had a big last breath, and I accompanied her black stare as air left her little body.

No death really traumatized me and moved as I had my first cat die in front of me. Still to this day I tear every time I remember how unnerving it must’ve been for her to feel something’s wrong with her and I couldn’t make her better. I felt I was too late to care. For such a little body, a little being, to tell me goodbye that way. We had her become small pellets of ashes, to be put as part of a small plant. I cried when I transplanted her and had to crumble her remains onto the pot. She lays besides me every night, and I still keep care of her, in other means.

Since then, I’ve been not scared, but mindful about when death comes to me. When I finished washing the dishes last time, I saw that a small jumping spider was caught on the water splurge. Their little body was unresponsive; I dried it as gentle as I could, I tried doing a small effort CPR so maybe I could see an animated reaction. But I got nothing. Sadness filled me as I put their body in the closet pot. I wanted to make their death as dignified as possible, for my sake to make it mean something more than just a miserable encounter with my everyday life.

I feel like being sensitive, as in having the capacity to feel and think empathetic, is the payment for becoming conscious of this silly thing of being human. To feel every burden of the loss of life I am met with. It’s the paycheck death gives me, and I will always bend the knee to it. I hope death embraces me as caring as death comes for all the things I love.

#lirismo #texto #text #lyricism

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friendlovermother1980 · 2 years ago

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Grat Journal

Today I feel grateful that we began couples counseling this week. I have been wanting to do this for awhile and I really needed something that I could feel like as a positive direction for our relationship. I know things are tough, but I need something that says they are moving forward and effort is being made, so Devin just being in the counseling with me made me feel like that. I am also feeling very appreciative for many things, my presidents scholar award, Devin being kinder this week, the housing looking ok right now even though I still have worries, my next counseling scheduled with Devin next week, the trip to Sacremento for the CSU conference, possibly seeing and hanging out with Alisha and others from school, and for talking more with my mother lately.

If I was to use a couple of gratitude prompts I will start from the beginning.

What is my happiest childhood memory?

Some of my happiest were just spending time with my Grandpa. Whether it be at the grocery store getting a color book and going to rent a movie, or holiday days in his house, I don’t think I ever felt more loved and just able to be a child, than when I lived with him.

What is one of your favorite songs from childhood?

It could be like Crazy by Patsy Cline since it reminds me of my grandmother and good memories at Easter, or it would be My mother from Alvin and the Chipmunks Chipmunk adventure, because it made me feel like I wasn’t alone in missing my mothers so it emphasized with me, or Journey Dont stop believing or wheels in the sky, because it was songs that my father recorded from prison and sent to me, or Dirty dancing sountrack hey baby.. because it reminds me of childhood with my grandpa in Missouri spending time with my cousins, fireflys and the movie just came out

Things I am grateful for:

My wife, my kids, my family members, my animals, shelter, food in my belly, villasport, going to SJSU, the ability to pay bills, good friends, the ability to afford to go experience new things, and many past wonderful memories.

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alistairian · 9 months ago

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Father = biological dad, Dad = stepdad

What I've always known: my father was married to my mother for 6 years, and after spending half that time trying for a baby he left for some other woman he met on course (work trip) several weeks before I was due. He didn't want any custody and only saw me once when he came to grab the last of his things. He left my mom with a newborn infant, a house she couldn't afford on her own, plus 2 cats and a dog.

My father has a very large tight-knit family. His parents came to visit me and support my mom after I was born, and one of his sisters kept in touch with my mom over the years. From what I understand the family was pretty split over who to support and people started taking sides. During times when I lived close to that side of the family I would visit my grandparents and aunt and see my cousins. My father was never around during these times, we assumed he lived in Ontario but when the child support payments stopped coming we couldn't track him down and his family was no help. I think at one point when I was little my mom tried to get him to sign off on letting her change my last name from his, and I guess he said no cuz it never happened.

The new information: when I was about 9 my grandfather passed away, I remember my mom crying while telling me, which is notable cuz she is not a cryer. We didn't go to the funeral and I always just assumed it was because of the distance (we lived several hours away).

When I was 17 he asked my mom for permission to reach out to me and offered to start paying child support again while I went to college. I said if he was just going to vanish again and make no effort then I didn't want him to bother. We talked a littld bit. Met when I was 18. He kind of played the victim, talked about how emotional he is and how it's easy for him to start crying. Idk what I was meant to do with that info, pity him? Saw him maybe 2 more times at family gatherings and then we were strangers again. In full honest truth I just didn't really care, I already had a stepdad who was with us since I was 2 so I wasn't missing anything. (Fun sidenote, my dad and father used to be friends. They were diving buddies and one day while they were both on tour (big work trip) they met at a bar and my dad had to confess that he was dating my mom and raising me. That friendship ended right then and there of course)

Turns out my grandfather actually asked to see me before he passed. He was in a hospital and his dying wish was to see all of his grandkids one more time and he asked for me by name. However, my father was there for his dad's passing, and decided that it would be too awkward for him if I was also there, so he denied his OWN dad's dying wish and said I wasn't allowed to go. I was the only one who didn't get to say goodbye and didn't go to the funeral.

I remember when I was starting college and stayed with my grandmother for a few months she mentioned that my grandfather asked to see me when he was dying. It must have slipped up cuz I didn't know this version of the story and didn't know why I wouldn't have been able to see him. I kinda thought she was lying, she tends to overembellish and romanticise things.

During this time was when I was seeing my relatives more at gatherings and birthdays and stuff. I always felt like an outsider or that I was the families ugly secret (didn't help that I was also out as trans at this point) which I figured was just because I typically feel out of place and uncomfortable but it turns out they're all actually just guilty and uncomfortable. I stayed with my aunt for awhile too during this time, the one who stayed in touch with my mom, she was always so nice and made a point to give me space and made sure I wasn't feeling pressured or overwhelmed. It felt like a bit of overcompensation but I figured it was the trans stuff making people a little weird.

My aunt passed a few years ago after her cancer came back. Her oldest daughter rushed to have her wedding early once her mom started getting sick again and she collapsed after the reception. She never left the hospital after that and died about a week later. My father texted me to let me know. Visitation at the hospital was extremely limited due to covid, so I knew I wouldn't have been able to see her.

Another family member commissioned a portrait sketch from me of my aunt to be used at her celebration of life, I offered to do it for free since that was my aunt who took me in and who I was closest to. I was asked to draw the same picture again to be given to my other aunt (her twin), paid for this time, but I never got paid and she never came to pick up the 2nd picture. I reached out a few times, was ghosted. My mom reached out to the twin to see if I could just give her the drawing directly, nothing ever came of it. And once again, I was never even invited to attend the celebration, and we live in the same city this time.

My mom still asks me if my grandmother sends me birthday wishes, because she noticed that she's always making happy bday posts on facebook for all her other grandchildren except me (no, she doesn't send me anything) and honestly now that my aunt has passed I'm pretty much finished with that whole side of the family.

All this to say: hey isn't it fucked up that a man in his 30s abandoned his wife and child and did everything he could to make things as difficult as possible? Hey isn't it fucked up that 10 years later at the age of 40 the same guy denied his father's dying wish, on his deathbed, because the possibility of being in the same room as the child he abandoned was just too uncomfortable? Hey, isn't fucked up that when he did decide he wanted to try he half assed it so bad he made himself out to be the victim and then ended up excluded his adult child from yet another family members funeral? And this time the entire family was complicit because I was right there and everyone knew that my aunt always supported me and my mom? And then they even asked for a service from me, which I provided for FREE, and still nobody had the fucking consideration to maybe oh idk, invite me to say goodbye? My fucking pencil drawing got to participate for christs sakes.

Anyway. Lowkey looking forward to the day he's on his own deathbed mulling over all his regrets and asks to see me before he passes. Then I can tell him no, that's too awkward.

I have the urge to trauma dump about extended family drama and my official (self-appointed) title as the black sheep of the family, but alas. It is already 3am

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hslllot · 2 years ago

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insieme in paradiso

“together in paradise”

rated m | 2.7k words

better late than never, right? this is a short piece for my dear friend’s @harry-on-broadway fic challenge (the prompts used are in bold)! It is basically an extended version of this concept I wrote back in 2021... We’ve had such great latam content lately that I feel like I should have adjusted the setting of this, but I hope you enjoy anyways! As always, please let me know what you think. xx shan

———

Was this heaven?

You were certain that you’d never felt more relaxed as you bathed in the Tuscan sunlight. Lounging beside your love, you let your eyes close, the book you were reading abandoned in the sand next to your chair ages ago. Every worry, every stressor, every bit of tension in your muscles that you carried with you drifted away in the winds of the ocean breeze.

This was the private getaway with Harry you’d been longing for. It seemed like forever since the two of you were able to spend an extended amount of time alone together.

“Mum just posted this photo. Look. Thea’s getting so big.” Your boyfriend interrupted your daze when he reached out from beside you to shove his phone in your face.

You opened your eyes slowly and lowered your sunglasses so you could take a proper look. Using your hand to shield the glare of the Italian sun, you saw on his screen an Instagram story his mother had posted of his cousin’s baby.

“She’s adorable, H.” You responded, adjusting your sunglasses back to cover your eyes. “We should give Ella a call later, maybe we can FaceTime.” All you heard in response was a short grunt as he laid back in his chair, eyes still fixed on his screen.

He was grumpy and you could tell.

One thing about your boyfriend of three years, which you found incredibly endearing, was that he loved his family more than anything. Unfortunately, when his family was gathered and he couldn’t be there, he’d tend to get a bit pouty. You’d find him glued to the group chat or Instagram to get updates on what they were up to. Sometimes you would catch him ‘liking’ or ‘reacting’ to their posts and stories (on his private account of course) in an attempt to make himself feel more included.

Birthdays. Weddings. Babies. There was a long list of family events he often had to miss because of his job, and you knew it weighed heavily on his heart.

A small part of you was slightly annoyed that he wished he were somewhere else. But another part of you, perhaps the more compassionate part, understood that multiple truths could exist at once: 1) He was happy to be spending time with you, 2) he was grateful for his job that took him to beautiful countries and allowed him to live a lavish life, and 3) he missed his family dearly.

But sometimes you didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just go home and visit them whenever he felt like it. He certainly could afford it, and he had the power in all of his business relationships to take a vacation whenever he felt like it. Sometimes you wished he had more of a ‘diva’ type attitude when it came to certain things, like allowing himself to take breaks from work. However, another thing about your boyfriend was that he was a chronic overachiever and people pleaser with a tendency to overcommit to new projects. And you figured it wasn’t so bad to have a partner in life who was considerate of other peoples’ time and feelings.

Plus, you couldn’t complain much because his commitment to a new project was how you found yourself at the beautiful, private, Il Pellicano in Tuscany.

The two of you were finally spending some much needed quality time together. Coordinating your schedules had been an absolute nightmare and it was a miracle that you were able to take some time away from work to join him on this trip. He was technically here on business, preparing for the launch of his Gucci collection with Alessandro. But you had spent the majority of the trip together, watching him model his clothing, sitting side-by-side on the small private beach of your villa, and wrapped around one another in the bedroom.

At the moment though, Harry’s frustration, guilt, and longing to be with his family was threatening to penetrate the bubble of relaxation surrounding you. You could feel the restless energy emanating off of him. Without opening your eyes you heard the way he moved around in his chair and sighed under his breath as he scrolled through his phone and typed away messages in his family group chat. When you finally did open your eyes you found him on his stomach, his head at the other end of the chair near your feet, and his phone two inches from his face. And while this position afforded you a great view of his tanned back and taut muscles glistening in the Italian heat, clad only in a small pair of black swimming shorts, you could feel the tension radiating from him and you couldn’t ignore it any longer.

You reached across and placed your hand on the back of his calf, rubbing your thumb back and forth against his warm, sun-kissed skin, as if to soothe him.

“Hey baby?”

“Hmmm?” He responded mindlessly, not bothering to look up from his phone.

“Hey, look at me.” You urged, squeezing his calf to gain his attention.

“Sorry” he murmured, putting his phone down. He twisted in the lounge chair to face you, sitting up to give you his full attention. You reached for his hand and intertwined your fingers with his.

“I was thinking… I know we’re supposed to head back to London on Sunday, but what if we took a few days in Holmes Chapel?” He raised an eyebrow at you curiously, wordlessly asking where this had come from. You continued, “It’s been so long since we’ve seen Anne and I miss her… Plus, we’ve only seen Thea once since she’s been born. I think I can extend my vacation by a few days.”

He sat there for a moment silently, teasing at his bottom lip.

“I have a meeting with Lambert and Molly on Monday in London.” He winced, remembering his prior commitment.

“Surely you can do it over Zoom. Or just push it a couple days. You are the boss, aren’t you?”

Something flickered in his eyes and a slight smirk crept his lips at your mention of him being the boss.

His gears were turning and you knew him well enough to know the battle going on inside his brain. He probably didn’t love the idea of moving a meeting to go see his mum, but since it was technically your idea it was like a free pass. He could feel less guilty about it because he was doing it for you.

(Obviously you both knew this was entirely for him… But you needn’t say it)

You thought he might pass on the opportunity, and were startled when he removed his hand from yours and scrambled up from his lounge chair. He quickly moved onto your chair, straddling you with his entire body weight pinning you down. With his forearms rested on either side of your head, he placed quick kisses all over your face. Almost reflexively, you wrapped your hands around his biceps. His hot, sinewy arms flexed in your grip.

“Yeah,” is all he said before placing a long, slightly wet, kiss on your forehead. “I AM the boss. And I would like that very much. Thank you for suggesting it.” Unable to wipe the smile from his face, he placed one more tender kiss on your lips.

You reached for the sunglasses that sat atop his head and removed them, freeing space for you to run your fingers through his soft brown curls. “You’re welcome, H.” He lowered into your touch, eager for a cuddle. “But you have to get up. You’re squishing me.”

“Right, sorry.” He removed himself from on top of you and took a seat by your feet at the end of the chair. It was his turn to soothe you now, grazing his palm along your calf and up to your knee, which he gave a squeeze before dragging his hand back down.

“I think it’s time we get out of the sun, yeah?” The sly look on his face was all too familiar as his gaze trailed down your bikini-clad body. “You’re lookin’ a little sunburnt.”

“Am I?” You teased.

“I’ve got something I can rub on it back in our room.”

You rolled your eyes at him, feigning annoyance at his flirtation. Nonetheless, you knew where this was headed.

Gathering your belongings hastily, you were both eager to make your way back to the air conditioned room that held your luxurious king bed. You trailed behind Harry, climbing the stone steps up to the private entrance of your villa hand in hand.

Once inside your room, you dropped your tote bag and walked over to the balcony, sliding open the curtains and the door to let the sunshine and salt air filter through the room. Looking out at the scene below, you could see the private beach where you and Harry had spent your morning and admired the way the Tuscan sun illuminated the sapphire blue ocean ahead. You took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as you felt Harry come to stand closely behind you.

“Thank you for bringing me here.” You said quietly. Harry wrapped his arms around you from behind, allowing you to rest your chin on his forearms. He nuzzled his face into your neck where he left a delicate touch of his lips.

“Thank you for being here with me.” He responded.

Any annoyance you previously felt toward your boyfriend’s proclivity for FOMO melted away when you realized how grateful you were to be here with him. In the chaos of his busy life, while he missed his family deeply, he chose to be here with you, together in paradise.

You turned yourself in his arms, your body flush against his, to find his soft, yet intense, gaze on your lips.

Harry held lightly onto your hips. Leaning in, his lips parted, and you could feel his warm breath against yours. You placed your hands on his chest, his skin burning under your fingers. With every shallow intake of breath he edged closer, until finally catching your top lip between his.

His hands trailed up your sides as your kiss became deeper, fuller. You felt like you might melt against him, heat racing down to every part of your body that was touching his. He roamed your curves and the expanse of your back, pressing you even closer to him, before finding the strings that held together your bikini. With two gentle tugs, the piece of fabric fell to the ground.

He broke away from your kiss only briefly to study the sight of you, topless, in front of him. “Bellissima,” he whispered, his voice deep and slow. You saw the muscles in his jaw tick as his gaze burned holes through you. It was your turn, this time, to grab onto him and press him closer against you, feeling his hardness.

It wasn’t long before Harry’s mouth started to move down your body. Your neck, your collarbone, your chest. His tongue dragged over your nipple before sucking it into his mouth and an intoxicating heat rippled through you.

“Bed, please” was all you could muster under your breath. Harry reluctantly pulled himself off you and started walking you back, stopping when the back of your legs hit the bed. He gently lowered you onto the bed and resumed his work dragging his mouth down your body, finishing off with a chaste kiss to your hip bone.

He stood up straight at the edge of the bed, towering over you. Eager for him, you removed your bikini bottoms and tossed them to the floor.

“A bit impatient?” He chuckled, looking down hungrily at your naked body. You didn’t bother to respond, leaning back on your forearms, you kicked your leg out and toed at the tent in his black swimming shorts, encouraging him to take them off. “Tell me” he said sternly.

“I want them off.”

He pulled his shorts down and discarded them on the floor before climbing on to the bed. You admired the way he wrapped his hand around his cock and began slowly stroking himself, a small sense of relief evident on his face. He lowered himself over you and pressed his lips to yours. While your tongues met, the pads of his fingertips began to explore, trailing delicately down your stomach. Your body responded to his familiar touch, goosebumps racing over you and a fire simmering in your belly.

You were desperate for him, your body begging for him to touch you as his fingers made their way down to your heat. A heavy moan left your lips when he began running circles over your clit. At that moment, you were completely overwhelmed by him. The way his lips felt against yours, the taste of his tongue, the scent of his cologne, the soft pads of his fingers on your most sensitive spot.

“I want you,” you whined.

“You have me,” he answered teasingly, his mouth only a fraction of an inch away from yours. He dragged his finger down and dipped into your entrance. “Fuck - you’re so wet.”

“Please…”

At your begging he positioned himself between your legs, removed his fingers, and replaced them with a press of his hips against yours, the tip of his cock firm against your slit.

Your hands grappled to hold on to any part of him you could, eventually landing on his shoulders. Gripping tightly, your fingertips dug into his skin. You wrapped your ankles around his calves and felt the way his body fit perfectly against yours.

The first thrust inside you was slow. Every inch of your body pulled tight around him as he sank deeper. Your breath hitched as a wave of pleasure raced through you.

“Fuck,” Harry rasped as he rocked into you. The sound of his voice sent a tingle down your spine. “I love you so much,” he whispered into your skin, brushing a kiss across your jaw.

You said it back to him as the two of you moved against each other, getting lost in the feelings of love and undulating pleasure between you.

———

You and Harry spent the rest of the day immersed in one another in your private villa.

The last go around, you unraveled together with his face buried in your neck while you were clutched tight around him.

He pulled out and collapsed beside you, trying to catch his breath.

You turned on your side to look at him, flooded with warmth and giddiness as you acknowledged how handsome he was. You used the tip of your finger to trace the lines of his face. The sharp cut of his jaw, the slope of his nose, the full of his lips. As you were about to trace your thumb over his eyebrow he grabbed your hand, bringing it to his lips.

“Thank you again for suggesting we go to Holmes Chapel after this,” he said against your hand, still pressed to his lips.

“Of course,” You moved closer to him and he let go of your hand in order to wrap his arms around you. “You can go home whenever you want, you know.”

He placed a soft kiss on the top of your head. “I know. It’s easier to go when I know you’re coming with me.”

You hummed in understanding and pressed your lips against his chest.

“I should give Jeffrey a call and ask him to make the travel arrangements for us… And postpone my meetings.”

As if on cue, his phone’s ringtone chimed from his tote bag on the floor by the door. He was reluctant to let go of you, but you gave him a look of approval that had him scrambling out of the bed to retrieve it. You took the opportunity to admire his naked body, silently thanking the Italian sun and his morning cardio routine for the glorious sight of him.

You felt a warmth in your chest, though, at the smile that grew on his face when he looked down at his phone to see who was calling.

“Hey mum, yeah….guess what…I’m coming home.”

———

Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think.

#harryonbroadwayficchallenge #my writing #harry concepts #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction

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