#i have been playing this single game with little interruptions because i just can't do anything else anymore

[uzurimisery]

chapter 4: the bluff. / coriolanus snow / nsfw

Rating: Explicit

WC: 6746

Warnings: MDNI, rough sex, he's still insane and possessive, PIV, unprotected sex (this guy is never wearing a condom ever), angry sex, he's not a good guy but he's hot, not beta read

AO3 version | Series master

You slammed the dressing room door shut. “What the hell was that , Coriolanus?” pacing the length of the room, anger seeping out of you. “Did you forget what we were supposed to do? We were supposed to play it off, say we were too young. That was not playing it off! That was proposing!”

In your rage, you stumbled in your heels. He watched you curse under your breath, undoing the strap on them and throwing them across the room. Coriolanus didn’t move, cemented in his spot just past the door.

“Listen to me Y/N,” his tone was stern, like a parent scolding a child. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Of course you did!” you interrupted your voice tinged with sarcasm. “You always do whatever you want, don’t you? Here, the gala, the dinner. Always regardless of the consequences!”

Your words were sharp, digging in the fact that whatever was going on between you two there was meant to be a unified front, a single storyline. You were meant to be partners in the power play, both of you using each other to further your positions. All the work that went into constructing the next five years of the act was undone in an instant.

“I thought we were on the same page, Coriolanus. There was a plan for what we were going to do, but you just fucked it up!” He was always hypercritical of himself, internal monologue pointing out his every mistake, but you doing the same set him off.

“Can you shut up for five seconds! Or are you so self-obsessed that you can't let anyone else get a word in.”

“How dare you try and talk to me about being self-obsessed you narcissistic, unthoughtful-”

“There you go! Proving my point. You can’t even get off your high horse for a minute so I can explain why I did that.”

“You want to explain? Fine then, explain.” you spat.

Coriolanus’ jaw clenched. You were so hot and cold with him. He could never gauge what you really wanted in all of this, and you would never just tell him either.

“I saw an opportunity.”

“For what?”

“To play the part, to make the story so much better. Picture it, Coriolanus Snow, a man who has always been so organised and timely there are articles on how to put your life together like him, rushing into something. He’s so in love with his mentor’s daughter that he proposes to her on stage in front of all of Panem, and he doesn’t even have a ring on him because at that moment he realises that he can’t live without her.”

Your eyebrows were drawn, scanning over his face like you were looking for a fault in what he said, as you dissected it. There was nothing wrong with it though. The show was exactly how he described it. It painted him as a kind and caring man, beyond his known abilities at game making.

“You should have told me ahead of time.”

“I didn’t have a chance. I thought of it while getting ready.” he was lying, and you could tell. Seeing through lies was your speciality. He hadn’t thought about it while getting ready.

You called him on his bluff. “Bullshit. You didn’t have any plan, that was all impulse.” you were digging your finger into his chest to make your point. “You could have ruined everything we’ve been working on, made the past year pointless. What if I hadn’t followed along? What if I lost my composure for your little outburst? It’s not just your future on the line here Coriolanus. I’m leaving.”

Your shoulder bumped into his as you moved to walk out of the room, but his arm wrapped around your waist pulling you back and lifting you off the ground.

“Y/N,” he started.

“Let me go!”

“You don’t get to walk away from me. You need to listen to me.”

“I’m done listening to you, put me down!”

“Well, I’m not done talking!” Coriolanus pushed your back against the wall, pinning you in place.

Why couldn’t you just listen to him like you normally did? Why were you so upset with him? What he did was off-script but it still looked good, and it still achieved your shared goals. You didn’t get to walk away from him when he was right.

You slapped him, still able to move your arms. “I told you to let me go.” He tasted blood in his mouth. When he smiled at you, you felt your blood run cold.

“Are you done?” His teeth had traces of blood on them.

You weren’t about to be intimidated by him. You didn’t cower or beg anyone, and that included Coriolanus Snow. “Let. Me. Go.” your demands fell on deaf ears.

His smile only widened, eyes glistening with a sinister light. You thought he’d be furious with you, and hated that you were out of control, but it seemed more like he enjoyed it. That he liked it when you fought back.

“I told you Y/N, I’m not done talking.”

You moved to slap him again but were met with your wrists being grabbed and pinned above your head, utterly defenceless for whatever happened next. The expectation for him to strike you back weighing in the air. But he didn’t. Instead, his lips met yours, forcing your mouth open and letting his tongue in. You tried to fight back but he bit down on your lip and stopped you. His tongue only became more insistent. Copper on both your tongues.

You didn’t hate it. You were still mad at him, obviously, but the sexual tension that always between the two of you beckoned, its tendrils wrapping around you. Who said some angry sex wasn’t the solution to your being mad at him?

Your teeth clacked against each other as you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his midsection. Coriolanus’ free hand moved to support you. Standing like this he was able to grind his hips against yours, the friction delicious. The kiss was messy, both of you trying to prove something to the other with it.

When you pulled apart for air you spoke. “Let me go.” His breath was laboured, just as yours was, the rough makeout session leaving the both of you breathless.

“Not a chance, sweet girl.”

His grip on your wrists loosened, letting you slip free to pull at his hair, connecting your mouths once again. Your moans mixed with his own, body rolling to press your clothed pussy over his erection. Even though he had picked you up a multitude of times, it was always surprising how strong he actually was. His slim build did not give away how strong he actually was.

Everything between you was primal, driven by lust and anger.

Coriolanus brought you over to the couch, dropping you on your back. He liked you best like this, on your back and needy. Your high horse forgotten, and the only thing you rode him. The both of you took care to remove your clothes carefully, neither wanting to deal with a lecture from Tigris as well as knowing you had a dinner to attend in them after this. But that was where the caution ended.

The moment you were naked he had his fingers stretching you open with his thumb toying at your clit. His mouth was all over your skin, biting your breasts, adding to the marks already covering you. He was so rough with you and made you feel so small. But god did he know exactly what to do to you.

Your moans were sharp as he brought you to an orgasm. Everything you did drove him up a wall. Every time he thought he could move past it, ignoring the feeling, your pussy sucked him back in. It was your fault he made a mistake, that he lost his composure, that he went off script. He wanted access to your warmth whenever he wanted.

No matter how much he consumed you, he was still hungry, the type of hunger he hadn’t felt since the war. The one with claws that tore at his insides, teeth grinding into his bones. A bottomless pit that could never be filled. It clouded his mind with thoughts of you, your breasts and hips, the pout of your lips. He could almost always feel the sensation of you against him, biting into your soft flesh. It made him emotionally volatile, willing to risk everything for just a crumb. But every time he got a bite it filled him with dread.

Your perfume, boozy and peachy, a reminder that the only thing that would ever fill this hole was you. That when he was on the brink of death, starving and empty, it was you who would nourish him. Your being the very source of all his problems and all his solutions at the same time. A double-edged sword driving into his heart with every step he took towards you.

“See? Look how good you have it when you just behave.” you weren’t out of it yet, still able to spite back in vitriol.

“Fuck you.”

“Already have.” Coriolanus flipped you on your front, positioning you on your knees with your chest pressed against the couch.

Like this, he got to spread you open, look at what your body could offer him. Why did you have to be you? Why did you have to rival his mind and have such a perfect body? It ruined everything.

His fingers pressed back into you. He could watch you drip down them for hours, whiny and whimpering from his actions. Begging him to fuck you. No matter how you tried to act like you weren’t. You were just like him. Hungry and waiting.

Coriolanus lined up his cock with your entrance. Instead of easing into you, he thrust in fully, jolting your body forward. He wanted it to hurt, to make you feel sorry for blowing up at him. To show you that no matter how you acted out he could fuck you back into place.

He fucked you hard and fast, pulling your head back by your hair. It forced you up and to put your hands on the back of the couch. Your back arched, your shoulders almost against his chest. His other hand pinched at your nipples and tugged at them. It hurt, the perfect mix of pain and pleasure.

Moving his hand out of your hair, his fingers hooked into the side of your mouth. “Your mouth can be used for better things than being disrespectful.” your drool pooled around them, dribbling out the side of your mouth as you spoke.

“I’m gonna cum.” your speech altered from his fingers.

“I don’t care.” he did care, but he couldn’t let you know that, not right now. The biggest ego death to him would be if he was unable to make you cum. It fed his ego every time you clenched down around him, pussy fluttering from your orgasm. He didn’t slow down or let up, fully intent on taking his frustration out on you.

The air between you was hot and heavy, thick with the smell of sex. With his hands free, your waist became his new hold stone. Coriolanus didn’t even have to pull your hips to meet his, you were doing that for him, bucking backwards in time. Each trust had you panting little praises for him.

He wanted to see your face. You felt him pull out of you and then sit down on the couch next to you. “Ride me.”

You shifted, placing your knees on either side of him as you sunk down on his length. When you got to the base, you took a moment to recollect yourself, head tucked into the crook of his neck. Coriolanus’ lips found the crown of your head before he even recognised what he was doing. It was odd. This intimate act in the midst of all of this. He wanted to show you that he cared, that he wasn’t mad at you anymore. Why wasn’t he mad at you anymore? He was the type to let his anger fester, angry with infection. He waited until the moment was right and then he spread his sickness, cutting down whoever upset him. You were more useful than being cut down; however, he felt strongly towards you. The one thing he wouldn’t do is name those feelings.

The drag of your hips cut off his line of thought. He watched as you rode him, your thighs shaky but not letting it stop you. When you pulled your head out to kiss him he met you, enjoying the feeling of your lips against his. Hair and makeup would have a hay day with the two of you but the way you went all the way up, his tip the only thing inside you, to then your ass flush with his thighs made their annoyance worth it. Wanting to feel you cum around him again, his thumb began circling your clit, working you up to another orgasm.

“I’m close.”

“I know.”

Your hips slowed as you came, exhausted from riding him. But Coriolanus wasn’t done. His hand wrapped around your waist, moving you to an elevated position with his dick still inside you, and he began thrusting up into you. “Hold yourself just like that sweet girl.” You did as he told you, your head lulling to the front pressing your forehead against his. With a few final thrusts, he came inside you. You were winded, your eyes closed as he guided your bodies apart and grabbed a disposal west wipe to clean the both of you up. Finally, with that done, he could lay down and settle you on top of him, both of you naked and sweaty.

Neither of you spoke for a while, just listening to each other breathe, your head on his chest.

“I’m sorry.” apologises always felt like he was trying to speak a foreign language, his tongue struggling to make the sounds. “I shouldn’t have acted impulsively.”

“I'm sorry too. I shouldn’t have blown up on you.” his fingers traced your hairline as you lay on top of him, still reeling from the sex. “I just don’t like when things don’t go to plan, and they’ve not been going to plan between us.”

He couldn’t argue against that. Everything was so fuzzy between you. He didn’t know what you were feeling, but his feelings were you weren’t something he could ignore. When he said that he couldn’t picture his life without you it was true. He thought that speaking it out to the world would alleviate the pressure, and make it something he could keep inside himself, but he didn’t. He needed you to know that it meant it.

“Would it be so bad, marrying me?”

You picked your head up. “No,” you sighed. “It wouldn’t be.” He watched you find your original position, ear over his heart.

“We could be allies.” his heart pounded as you traced patterns on his skin. “You’re the first person I’ve met I’d consider that with. I could make you the First Lady of Panem.”

Being the First Lady was an appealing idea. You’d be able to do so much more in that position. It was a core belief of yours that the games were only the first step in binding the loyalty of the country, to furthering the control over the populace. Aid programs needed to be doled out in the Districts. People who were content were less likely to look behind the curtain and see what was really happening.

“What happens when you fall in love with someone? Would we divorce and I’d lose everything, both the games and my position?” there was uncertainty in your voice.

There could never be someone after you. You were it for him. Sure he could find a docile wife and marry her, leave her be and just have kids with her. But she could never truly know him. But you could, and you were learning the true him. And you wouldn’t make him separate his work and home life, you’d dive into it with him, lethal and cunning.

“That won’t happen,” he was blunt with his statement. “You’re the only one I could do this with.”

It felt like the weight was finally lifting off him some. The pressure that had been building and threatening to blow, to whistle like a kettle. As much as he had intended for your relationship to be a temporary political alliance, he wanted it to be permanent. He didn’t trust people, but he was growing to trust you, knowing that your goals were ultimately the same.

“But what if it does?” He had never seen you so worried about his feelings, genuine concern. “Or what if I fall in love with someone else?”

“Y/N,” his thumb brushed your lips, making you face him again. “I promise you that is never going to happen. Okay?”

“Okay.”

With a final look of determination, kissed you, his lips bruising against your own. He was hoping that it conveyed that he meant it with all his heart. He was never going to fall in love with someone else, the home you made in his heart was always going to be yours. The decor exactly how you left it if you ever walked away, waiting for you to come back. You’d never get the chance to walk away but that was the sentiment, that he could forgive you for leaving him if he took you back and you stayed with him. A dove with a broken wing was still a dove. It might not be able to soar in the slides, free from the gravity of the world, but it was still a dove. Even if he broke you and locked you up, you’d still be you.

He could never love another, not when he loved you. Coriolanus loved you. The realisation shook him, a tempestuous collision of the man he was and the man he wanted to be. The crack formed by Lucy Gray was broken open once again by you. He had convinced himself that love was a weakness, that it was something to be exploited. Over the past year of getting to know you, getting to be with you, you had challenged his core beliefs, forcing him to confront the fact that he loved you.

It was hard admitting it to himself. Just hours earlier he had told Tigris off for even suggesting the idea of it, vehemently denying it. He didn’t want to love you then, terrified at the idea of you finding out and leaving. But you had said it wouldn’t be so bad to be married to him, that you’d be willing to be allies for the rest of your life. The truth was there though, written into every interaction he had with you. The glaring reality that he could no longer ignore, lingered in his eyes like a burned-in image.

It was terrifying, the exact opposite of the control he wanted to have over those around him, to have you control his heart. The practised emotional detachment he had led his life with failed in his darkest hour. The fear that you’d be just like Lucy Gray and run. It didn’t matter that you both worked on the games, that he had seen you develop new ways to punish the Capitol’s enemies, that you had just as much darkness within you as he did. That you were as ruthless as he was. The betrayal he had once experienced at the hands of a District dog had him petrified of it happening again.

Could he erase your existence like he did hers if something happened? The thought was both horrifying and tempting. He didn’t want it to come to that, to erase you, to discard you like a broken toy. You were better than Lucy Gray, you wouldn’t betray him. He wouldn’t let you. But he couldn’t come to you with this, not yet. Coriolanus Snow needed you to break down and beg him to tell him that he loved you. When he could see you, lost in your feelings for him, then he could tell you. Not before, not after. But at the moment when you are in desperate need of him, he could tell you. Only then could he believe that you loved him too.

______________________________________

Things have been busy since then and luckily you have been able to avoid conversation with your mother too. Coriolanus and you had no time to talk about your game plan and what would've happened next as the games started. Every day you were at the Citadel, ensuring things ran smoothly. He was there too, doing his own work, but the amount you had to do kept you from each other. It wasn’t until after the games ended that the two of you got a moment alone. Of course, you had been to several events together but you couldn't talk about things there. So when the last person left the production room, you were finally alone with him.

“Did you mean what you said that night on the balcony, that it was hard pretending that you loved me?”

The two of you were in his private lab. You were sitting on the edge of his desk instead of a chair, something he noticed you liked to do. After the cameras had been turned off you had taken your hair down from the pinned updo made of a braid, letting the braid hang loose.  The heels you were wearing off your feet and lost in the room. Coriolianus’ head was in your lap as your fingers brushed through his hair. The slight stubble he’d grown over the last two days catching on your tights.

His voice was muffled by your thigh. “No.”

“No you didn't mean it or no it isn’t hard pretending that you love me?” Your fingers were putting him to sleep. It had been so long since he had been touched like this. He only had one strong memory of his mother. They had been sitting before the fire, her belly full with his younger sister, her finger running through his, much like your own, singing a song he couldn’t remember now, the melody lost with time.

“No,” he finally replied, groggy. “It’s not hard pretending that I love you”

There was a flicker of hope within you when he first confessed to you that night on the balcony. You had convinced yourself that he was being vulnerable with you then, letting you in. Was this him adding kindling to that fire or dousing it?

“Is it easy then?” Each word was laced with intrigue and tinged with trepidation. The question wormed itself into the conversation, hanging in the air like the hum of the machinery. He tensed under you like he had been unprepared for this conversation, a betrayal of how he normally was.

Coriolanus’ response was slow, deliberate and weighted, with every individual syllable chosen carefully. “No, it’s not easy either.” The threading of your fingers felt so good against his scalp, it was criminal. “It’s neither easy nor hard, it’s necessary.” He shrugged with that statement, drowsy from the long day and your actions.

It was strange seeing him like this, his head in your lap as he was half asleep. The Coriolanus you knew was a man of fronts, never betraying his persona of unwavering composure and unyielding strength. He was smart and capable, bringing the Snow family back from the brink of destruction. But now there was no front present. He was relaxed and open, the tension in his shoulders finally released as he rested on your thighs. You could see every pore of skin, every hair out of place. There was a faint scar above his lip, so blended with his skin that you had never seen it before. It had access to the same medical and cosmetic treatments as you did meaning that he had left this one there on purpose. A reminder of something that had happened to him.

You chewed on his words as you watched him. It was neither easy nor hard pretending that he loved you, it was necessary. It was a non-answer, a refusal to tell you his feelings on the matter, that itself a revealing statement. He was used to his words working on others, his honied lips spinning the sweetest lies. But you had watched him, seen him change over the years. Coriolanus was a man burdened with his own demons that sat at the table with him. There was an understanding in that. You had your own demons that sat in the corner of your room every night, watching you sleep and whispering dangerous things. Neither of you were innocent good-hearted people, both of you violent and deadly.

But his cracks were showing, and that night under the stars with too much to drink, he had let you see just how much they were cracking. You were willing to pick up the pieces and help him put them back together. Your own feelings were the same as his, you were just better at hiding it.

“My father wants us to have an engagement party.”

“When?”

“In two weeks at my family estate,” knowing your father, it was going to be a spectacle. He doted on you. “But he wants to have a private dinner before that, just your family and mine.” His only family was Grandma’am and Tigris. If you wanted to, you could count the Plinths as family, even though he hated the thought of having any relationship with them.

“That’s fine. I’m sure Grandma’am will be excited, she’s been pestering me about marrying you while she’s still alive to see it.”

“She wants you to marry me?”

He murmured some form of agreement, still out of it. “She says you make me smile like I haven’t since I was a boy. It’s annoying actually, she keeps demanding that I bring you around for lunch.” This was news. Your interactions with Grandma’am had always been under the pretence of public events, you never thought much of them, but apparently she had. More than that, she thought more of your effect on her grandson.

“You should be kinder to her, you don’t know how long she’s got left.”

Coriolanus’ head lifted from your lap, rubbing his eyes as he propped his head up on a hand. “I know,” it wasn’t nice to have to think about the fact his Grandma’am was up there in age, that she maybe had another 15 years left. If that. “I’ll tell her we’ll do lunch then.”

Your smile was irresistible. “Good. The least you can do for her is let her think that you’ve found someone you genuinely love, and who loves you just as much. She’ll never know that it's just an act either. It’ll let her rest easy knowing you’re taken care of.”

His heart sank, and his stomach dropped out and onto the ground.

“Yeah, it’s a good act too.”

______________________________________

Coriolanus paced in the foyer, stopping every so often his fingers fidgeting with the knot of his tie, loosening and tightening it. His outfit was simple and smart today. His father's button-up with a red tie, a grey pinstripe waistcoat and matching trousers. The black leather of his oxfords had been polished earlier in the morning. He felt antsy, just wanting to get this luncheon over with. He shouldn’t have told you that Grandma’am wanted this, he must have been out of his mind when he did.

“Coriolanus my boy,” Grandma’am had snuck up behind him, making him jump as she put her hands on his shoulders. “You look as handsome as always, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

His smile was weak in the mirror, not reaching his eyes. “Thank you Grandma’am.” She fiddled with the shoulder of his shirt, lining it up properly as it had been moved from his walking around.

“You must really love her if it’s got you like this.”

“I do.” The words were heavy. This was the first time he had acknowledged his feelings for you to another person. The vulnerability threatened to consume him.

“I’m glad,” her eyes became teary as she spoke. “Your mother loved your father so much. I remember their wedding day. She was so nervous, running around like a rabbit. You remind me of her sometimes.” she threw her hands up like the statement was outlandish. “But of course, you’re more like your father than anything else. Strong Coriolanus Snow.”

They rarely talked about his parents, or Tigris’ parents, like this. It was easier for them all to let the dead stay dead. A bittersweet ache spread through him.

“I’m glad.” He reached out and took Grandma's hand, offering her some comfort. Talking about her dead children always set her off. They stood in silence for a beat, hand in hand, each processing their own feelings before he shattered the quiet.

“It’s easier to let the dead stay dead.”

Grandma’am nodded, her handkerchief to her eye to clean up the tears she had spilt. “Sometimes,” she acknowledges, “the past is too painful to revisit. But it’s important to remember Coriolanus. To remember the love, the laughter, the life that was lived. To honour those who came before you.”

But he didn’t want to remember the past. The past made everything worse.

The ring of the elevator cut the conversation short. You were here, and he was nervous. This was no different than a public event, you both knew the parts to play, but it was so different at the same time. You were in his family home, eating with him and his Grandma’am, and doing it purely because you thought she deserved to think someone loved him. Doing it because you cared for her. It was here that his history echoed, ghosts of the past hanging on every wall. Remnants of the boy he once was tucked away in boxes, now dusty with age.

As the elevator doors opened, revealing you standing there, those boxes came out of storage and were placed on the table for you to sort through.

“Oh! Miss Gaul! Please come in.” Grandma’am rushed towards you, excited to have you over.

“Grandma’am,” you chided, pulling her into a hug. She had shrunk in her old age and your heels didn’t help the equation, making you bend down to do so. “I’ve told you a thousand times to call me Y/N. Plus soon enough I’ll Mrs. Snow.”

“I know, I know, I just forget sometimes. Perhaps I should just call you Mrs. Snow!”

“Now I think that’s a wonderful idea!” You took a second to greet Coriolanus with a kiss and then went back to chatting with Grandma’am taking her hands in your own.

You were so delicate with her, it pained him to watch you be so kind to her. You nodded along diligently to whatever she said and were actively engaging in the conversation. He could tell that you weren’t pretending to care and that you actually wanted to speak with his grandmother. She was so animated with you like years had been removed from her. He had spent so long trying to protect her from all that had happened, and all that he had done. His actions had severed parts of their relationship, and with Tigris not living in the apartment anymore, she must have grown lonely. But you brought her back, the vibrant woman who could connect with the world.

Coriolanus sidled up to you, arm wrapping around your waist. “I hate to interrupt your conversation ladies, but I do believe Y/N came here for lunch.” It felt so right to have you like this.

“Yes, yes, Coriolanus,” Grandma’am started, “I’ll go make sure the cook has prepared everything. Why don't you show Y/N into the dining room.”

“Of course, Grandma’am.”

Alone, he nipped at your ear, his breath making your heart skip a beat. His hands were warm, one placed on your stomach the the other on your arm. You could smell the mint on his breath when he uttered a whisper in your ear, his voice low and husky. “You look stunning today.”

You were wearing all black today, something that went against the average Capitol woman. It was a high neck mini dress, stopping a few inches above your knee. The sleeves were long, longer than your hands and instead of normal holes, the fabric was spliced up to your elbow. Your heels were lower than they normally were from press events, no doubt more comfortable. The splash of colour came from your earrings. They were red, with a velvety coating on them, and shaped like rose petals separated and hung on a chain. You had remembered Grandma’am’s love of roses.

“It’s not for you, you know.” you took every opportunity to tease him. “But thank you.”

You had no idea what you did to him. “If it were for me it’d be on the floor by now.”

“Well then, it’s a good thing this is for Grandma’am and not you.” You patted his cheek. “Now are you going to show me to the dining room Coriolanus?” When you said his name you mirrored the way his Grandma’am said it.

A crooked grin rose on his face with a small laugh. “With pleasure, my dear,” he replied biting your ear again before leading you through the grand hallways of the apartment. His hand never left your back until you were sat down. You were on Coriolanus’ right, with his chair being at the head of the table.

The table was smaller than the average dining room table in the Capitol, unsurprising given the number of Snow family members there were left. It looked to seat about 10 people maximum. It was a dark-stained wood, a style that was popular in the prewar days. The walls were a pale blue, covered in a patterned wallpaper. The signature tile flooring of the apartment was carried into the dining room, laid in a geometric style with the table in the centre. It was all a testament to the family’s long history and enduring presence in the Capitol, a microcosm of the Capitol itself.

“Have you told her about the dinner?”

“No I haven’t had a chance yet-”

“What dinner?” Grandma’am sauntered into the room, waiting for Coriolanus to pull out her seat so she could sit. “The cook prepared quite a  lunch today,” she listed out the menu after she sat down, Coriolanus returning to his own seat, arms resting on the table.

“That all sounds wonderful Grandma’am. Corio’s told me how wonderful your chef is.”

“Yes, I do agree. It took me ages to find one that I liked, so many of them are lacklustre these days.”

“Well I hope my family’s chef won't disappoint you then.” you grabbed his hand on the table. “My father wanted me to invite you to a family dinner on Friday evening. It’s just a small get-together to introduce everyone to each other properly. After all, we’ll be one family soon.

“Oh, that is a wonderful idea! I’ve always had such admiration for your father’s interior design work.” Grandma’am's voice faded out for Coriolanus as she spoke. Rambling about how your father had ‘brought back the elegance of the Capitol’ through his job. Coriolanus was focused on one thing.

You were wearing the ring. He had gone in between rings for what felt like a millennium till settling on a custom made. It was reminiscent of the one he remembered his mother wearing, covered in diamonds and made of gold. Your was made of platinum, far more durable than gold and less like the be damaged by your time in the labs and only plated in gold. The centre stone was large, 1.5 carats, an emerald cut diamond. The style of the ring was similar to an ornate mirror. There were 22 stones in total, each one glittering from the chandelier's light. He hadn't stopped with just the one ring either, he needed to decorate you in the finest jewels he could buy with the Plinth family fortune. That's why your index finger had a stack of thinner, geometric, stack complimenting the engagement ring.

It thrilled him. Wedding rings were no more than a shackle connecting you to him. A show of his authority over you. Marrying you wasn’t about companionship, it was to own you. To change your last name to his own and let everyone know that he would never leave you alone. Maybe he’d let you hyphenate your last name, and you’d like that, it went against the norm.

His thumb rubbed against his own engagement ring. His was simpler, he didn’t enjoy the over-the-top couture and showmanship of the Capitol, a think gold plated platinum band with a matching kite cut diamond flush set into it. The kite shape echoed by etchings around the placement. You had picked the ring out for him after seeing your own, saying that you wanted it to match with yours. It was ironic that you chose a kite shape. They flew high in the sky, a symbol of freedom and soaring ambition.

The luncheon was nice, you had to admit. You didn’t have a living grandmother and it was nice to talk with Grandma’am as you ate. She kept telling stories of Coriolanus’ youth, much to his chagrin. The stories, and how he treated her, were different than what you had expected. He was cold towards Tigris, but he had so much warmth towards Grandma’am. What had happened between the two that caused a rift? Grandma’am spoke as if the two had been thick as thieves growing up.

When the plates were cleared, you joined Grandma’am in the kitchen as she made coffee for the two of you, Coriolanus somewhere in the apartment answering a message on his communicuff. You had offered to do it but she insisted on doing it herself, telling you that the machine was too complicated for a guest to use. But you know exactly how to use it, but that was a secret.

When she sat across from you, both your mugs steaming, her eyes were sombre. “Can you be honest with a foolish old woman?”

“I don’t see any old women here, but I can be honest.” her chuckle was wethered and dry, telling of someone who had lived through too much.

“I know my Coriolanus is a difficult man,” she always insisted on using his full name. “He’s much like his father in that regard, and I would know having raised them both. But you’re good for him. When I see him with you it's like all the horrible things he had to live through are forgotten, and that he’s that smiling boy  running around the apartment with his mother chasing after him again.” Grandma’am’s voice broke as the spoke, teetering on the edge of crying.

You grabbed her hand and squeezed it. She loved him so much.

“I love him Grandma’am, I really do.” candour in every word you spoke. “With him, I feel like I can do anything, be anything. Sometimes I think it’s all too good to be true and that one day I’ll wake up and this was all a dream that I had. Every day I pinch myself to make sure it's still real.”

“Will you always?” 

“There’s no future in which I don’t love him. He’s my now and always. And even if one day we weren’t together anymore, I’d still love him and I’d still support him. Just like he’d do the same for me.”

As you spoke Grandma’am’s tears flowed freely, but they weren’t tears of sadness, they were tears of gratitude. She saw in you that she didn’t have to worry anymore, that someone other than her would love him unconditionally. Be a sanctuary to his troubled heart.

“Thank you.” as the older woman bawled you got up to hug her, rubbing her back as she sobbed.

Coriolanus had heard the whole thing but he couldn’t tell if you had said it for her or it was a confession of your true feelings. You were always perfect at playing your part.

taglist: @serrendiipty @namelesslosers @glitteryblizzardsalad

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for asking my partner not to interrupt me while I'm streaming?

Asking on here because she has Reddit and I don't want to upset her further while I ask for an outside consensus.

I stream video game content as a profession. Playthroughs, mods, tutorials, reviews, ect. I found streaming to be more profitable than pre-filmed video content. I'd say on average I can "work" for 10 - 30 hours a week.

She works on an alternating schedule where she does a week of full time hours then a week of part time hours. All in all, we work pretty reasonable hours between us, I feel, and we are agreeably not lacking in spending time together.

We routinely go on dates, we more often than not have dinner together, and I typically don't stream for more than 2-4 hours consecutively, so its not as if I'm locked up in my office for the majority of the time.

However over the last few months my partner has developed the habit of simply walking in whenever I'm streaming and starting up random conversations with me, playing her own games loudly in the background, constantly interrupting me to read out chat comments or ask questions about the game, ect.

Sometimes it isn't so bad, but generally its pretty disruptive. I wouldn't mind if it was just occasionally or if she just popped in now and then, but its grown to the point where its almost every single stream and I've noticed I've lost a handful of frequent viewers over it.

It came to an unpleasant confrontation over the weekend, when I was streaming a highly requested tutorial walkthrough for a recently released game and she decided to come in, try to sit on my lap and start a conversation about a client's dogs she met today.

I was trying to figure out a polite way to ask her to give me another 40 minutes so I could finish the quest line and shut it down for the day when two people in the chat began to make jokes about how she never leaves me alone and said it 'gave cam check vibes.'

I pretended not to notice, but she did, and clearly it hurt her feelings and she mumbled about having some things to do and left. I felt awful that her feelings were hurt so I closed the stream early and went to find her.

She was pretty upset about the comments and tried to get me to validate that she wasn't disruptive or unwelcome. I assured her that I don't mind the occasional visit or if she wants to play her own games in the background on mute/low volume/with earphones in, but that I have actually been meaning to ask her to give me a little more curtesy when I'm streaming because its hard to have dynamic engagement when I can't actually talk to anyone because she's talking non-stop or her own game volume is distorting the sound.

I tried to say it as gently as possible but it was clear that the more we discussed it, the more upsetting it was for her. She called time on the conversation by abruptly saying she'll just 'never so much as walk past the door' when I'm streaming, and that she didn't want to talk about it anymore.

She was only working a half-day today and I was streaming between mid-day and the early afternoon. When I said goodbye to her this morning she made sure to somewhat sarcastically assure me that she wouldn't dare interrupt my stream today, and she hoped it went well.

She refused to discuss it further when she came home, or over dinner, and since dinner she's shut herself in the conservatory and has been on the phone to a friend.

I'd like to discuss it further because I'm discontent with her being upset about it, but I'm also not particularly agreeable with me being in the wrong here. Streaming is my job. We pay equal expenses, so its not as if this is just a silly little fake job or hobby for me while she foots the bills. I rely on viewers to get paid, and when quite a few of them leave because I've had to stop playing for 20 minutes to listen to her chat, it could negatively impact my ability to bring home a reasonable contribution.

Ordinarily we can resolve any conflicts or disagreements quickly and fairly. We've never been the sort of couple to spend days being passive aggressive or refusing to talk.

With her being so resolute in being upset and not communicating, I'm at a loss for if I'm actually in the wrong or not for asking her to be more mindful of interrupting me and causing disruptions while I'm working.

What are these acronyms?

[not-poignant]

Raphael has a very poetic and grandiose way of speaking that is absolutely not the norm for day-to-day life. How do you get in the mindset to come up with his dialogues? They're perfection and I just can't even imagine how long it would take to do one paragraph of the way he talks, but you're writing an entire story with him...

Oh I love this question because I can answer it, lol sadlkjfsda

Okay so, Raphael's character is tough for me.

Normally I do a lot of dialogue research before starting to write a character in fanfiction and original fiction, but Raphael actually gets proportionately very few lines that really show his full emotional range (compared to say, Astarion), and he's got an incredibly specific way of talking that sounds similar to Astarion but at the same time is very different.

They share enough similarities (calling people darling and dear for example) that it's easy to fall into the trap of giving them the same 'voice.'

I find Astarion's voice a lot easier to 'get' and I feel like I can hear him better when I'm writing him. But Raphael I'm taking into emotional spaces we simply never see in the game, and then I have to really guess how he'd sound (like coming up with the idea that the theatricality vanishes when Raphael is genuinely panicking).

I ended up listening to a lot of interviews with Andrew Wincott, the Voice Actor for Raphael who is an incredible actor and extremely articulate. He was very clear in one of his interviews that one of the reasons he was selected to play Raphael was because, in part, he already sounded like him. Obviously there's differences / skill in changing cadence and more, but for the most part, Andrew Wincott uses similar vocabulary and talks in a similar manner to Raphael naturally, so I had an abundance of interviews that I could then listen to in order to get a feel for Raphael's voice. I picked the things that felt more 'Raphael' and added them to my dialogue notes.

I often have to go back and edit Raphael's dialogue. Sometimes it's very simple things, I had him say 'much more' in the chapter I'm editing right now, and I edited it to 'far more' because I think he'd just phrase it like that. Sometimes I expand a sentence into an entire paragraph.

I've also leaned a lot from Korilla's transcripts in the game, which have been super useful. They really cement, more than anything, how much he loves lullabies, nursery rhymes, children's tales and more.

HOW TO DO DIALOGUE RESEARCH:-

If you're new to dialogue research, it mostly involves listening to - and watching a character and then literally taking notes of how they talk. The things you observe are:

The tone of their voice - Fast or slow. Loud or soft. Musical or flat. Theatrical or matter-of-fact. High or low. Questioning or complete statements. Considered or hedging (i.e. very well constructed sentences, or a lot of pauses, ellipses, broken sentences). Rambling or concise.

How often they talk - Some characters actually say a lot with very little. Raphael is actually a lot of observation and facial expressions and eyebrow movements in between his dialogue. Little smirks, hand gestures and more. Do they interrupt or let people finish their sentences? Are they comfortable with silence? I find Raphael oscillates between long theatrical paragraphs, single sentences or words, and then a lot of silence. He's actually not very conversational, in that you can have a conversation with him, but I doubt he'd see the point of two hours of small-talk. (At this point you might be realising that dialogue research is also character research, how a character talks tells you so much about a character.)

The words (and metaphors/subjects) they use - This is a big one and I'm going to break this down a little bit more:

How they pause if they don't know what to say. Is it 'um' 'uh' 'ah' 'hm' 'mm' 'mn' or nothing at all (or something else) because they've mastered self-control over their dialogue? If Raphael says 'ah' he does so on purpose.

Filler words. Things like characters saying 'like' in a sentence. 'He was like, 'I can't believe it'' etc. This is very similar to how they pause, but it's the things people say to get from point A to point B. People who don't do this have often had training or think very hard about what they're going to say before they say it. But people say 'like' or 'and then' or 'well' or 'i realised that' or 'i thought that' etc. to carry them on. Some are more acceptable than others (people do just have realisations for example).

Profanity. How often do they swear, and how intentional is it? Some characters only swear when they get hurt or stub their toe or get angry. Some characters swear all the time for fun. Some characters only use some swear words and not others. Be specific. Be aware that some swear words are cultural! This includes blasphemy. In Faerun they use 'gods' and 'gods damn it' more often than we use 'god' or 'oh my god.'

Vulgarity. This is useful for Raphael (and Astarion) because he's very happy to be vulgar. This is like... how comfortable are they talking about sex, about sexual subjects, being crude, being seductive, flirtatious? And if they use it, do they use vulgarity to shock, seduce, scare, threaten, or for humour?

Salutations and farewells. How do they greet people? Silence? A calm hello? (A lot of greetings are omitted in dialogue but this is still good to know). How do they say hello, goodbye. How does that change between friends and enemies and strangers?

Single word sentences. This might sound weird, but sometimes when a character hears something that shocks them, or needs to acknowledge something, they may say anything from 'huh' to 'yeah' to 'fuck' to 'okay' to 'all right' to 'sure' to 'go on' to 'indeed' to just laughing out loud. The list goes on. Raphael is team 'indeed' lmao.

Sentence structure. Raphael's sentence structure is - when he's most comfortable - gently provoking, teasing, vaguely threatening, and makes liberal use of simile, metaphor, fairy tale, rhyme, sayings, colloquialisms and more. Raphael talks like someone who knows someone could quote him at any moment lmao. But from here, how a character structures their sentences can be helpful to know. Go back to 'the tone of their voice.' Those notes will give you an idea of structure.

Emotionality. How emotional are they? Do they have rage rants? Joyful giggling dialogue? Do they infodump with little emotion? Or with sheer excitement? Does their dialogue feel fake or real? Opaque or transparent? Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, and others will never be able to say 'I love you' in anything other than actions. Raphael's emotionality in dialogue is more present in his anger and irritation, and also when he feels triumphant and/or turned on.

The symbols, sayings, colloquialisms and metaphors themselves. Not all characters use these. But some people/characters will talk through analogies, colloquialisms. This is actually Raphael's biggest dialogue departure from Astarion, imho, aside from the fact that Astarion is a lot more emotional with his dialogue.

Take into account their culture, ethnicity, conceits, upbringing, education and the people they're close to:

This one is vital. Firstly, some people tend to 'absorb' elements of those around them. A person raised by affluent people will often 'sound affluent' and a person raised in poverty will often have dialogue that reflects this and if they don't there will be reasons for that. It might be a conceit (some people self-teach themselves different accents), it might be education, it might be training, it might be the subculture/s they've entered into, and so on.

~

When doing this research, you'll end up with a kind of master-list of actual words and probably some sentences you've written down, along with a lot of notes. You can also do this for any original characters you're making at all, you're just then making it up based on the character, and this research will also give in many ways the shape of the character.

It's a fun exercise and I highly recommend everyone tries it literally for people who don't exist and also observe your friends and family, and do a dialogue cheat sheet for some of them. It's pretty eye-opening! Even one page will teach you more than nothing at all. You can go deep and write many pages, or you can do what I do and keep it lean at 2 pages. Anyone who struggles with characterisation I suggest at least try this exercise, because anyone can put on a YouTube video and/or streaming service or even a favourite Tiktoker and start doing dialogue research! It's a way of building a character from the top down while also getting information about their foundations.

[istarveforplatonicptnstuff]

Quitting your 9-6 security job because of Tetra 🦊, Pricilla 🐞 (Grumpy guard and lowkey sassy🤐)

An: I... The way that I wanted to change Tetra's into a black cat one so it could be an MLB reference... Rocky start but trust, it gets better in the end... 😊 - Here we go again... 😌 you found a job at a museum, to pay for your gacha addiction 📃 so yeah, pooks you were assigned at nighttime... 😃 This time though, you actually LISTENED 🤯 to the people, and found numerous articles about the Fox and the rabbit duo that made you FEEL single 🙄 Yeah, you heard that right, these two smh... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ At this point, bestie didn't want to deal with them at nighttime, that you made a pledge that you're QUITTING 🚪🚶‍♀️ when you see the two... It was ON SIGHT 👥 If they show up... - Oh, pookie... You weren't wrong... Fast forward to 12 midnight, they show up like a cliché heist scene, making you sigh and down the scalding HOT 🥵♨☕ coffee. Honestly pooks, I feel you rn... 🧍‍♀️ You end up staring at the two of them DEADASS tired 🙄, making them stop in their tracks and STARE 👀 at you. Turning away, and muttering to yourself that you didn't want to be dealing with this shit, you walked away, from them, thinking about how you're going to file a resignation letter in the morning or just ghost your employer altogether... Regrets were made when a voice speak up, making you walk a little bit fasterrrr 🚶‍♀️💨 You were not in the mood for this... 😶

The girl, who was dressed like a fox asked why YOU were ignoring them??? 🤨 You gave her the side-eye, responding that this was not how you wanted to spend your Sunday... 😐 At this point, you were being sassy 😭 My girl... You just wanted a normal night, why couldn't they just give you that? 😞😞😞 Like, can't a woman just... Get away from all the struggle you've been through...? Having multiple jobs, one which was basically free labor, one got you almost DEVOURED 😭, why does this have to happen to YOU??? 😩 You can never catch a break, can you??? 😿😿😿

Girlie was STUNNED, like??? Isn't this your job? Do you not care about getting fired or what? 😧 The one that dressed up like they were in a masquerade... 💃 attempted to provoke you... But you was not responding like they were expecting you to, making them even more concerned??? About the lack of reaction coming from you, lmao you were just standing there, as if you were babysitting them 👺 Then both of them awkwardly waited for the queue that you were playing with them, but you were NOT at all 😶 Making them just stand there and observed you like you were Mona Lisa...

Busying yourself with playing the award winning, hit video game called "Path to Nowhere", you ended up farming a lot of hypercubes just enough to pull for your favorite character... 🥰 You weren't in a grumpy mood anymore after half an hour of playing the game... Meanwhile, not noticing that the two were still there, waiting for you, like they were waiting for their MOTHER or smth... The fox lady cleared her throat, making you glare at them for interrupting your game time... 😒 My girl is CONFUSED as to why you were literally doing nothing but playing games on your phone... Like omg, it's like they're obsessed with you or something Pookie... 🤭

You let out a nasally "What?" with an attitude 💅 That's right bestie... You tell them girl 😤 Making them flabbergasted at the way you were talking to them, like they can't believe that this... Guard was not GIVING like excuse moi? Why is YOU not chasing them or smth? This wouldn't be the heist for them... Yeah right, as if you had the energy for that... So, they carefully explain that they wanted you to do something or like call the authorities at least? But you didn't like getting told what to do, so... NO 🥰 making their jaw drop at the way you were nonchalant over the whole thing... The way they were debating if they were just going to find another place to rob or just... Leave and like steal the items they were targeting.

But they wanted to at least understand why were you not interested in them...? So you end up ranting about this game you were playing and how you needed MONEY because you blew all your life savings for this particular game like it was the casino, gambling away your chances for a better life... 💸💸💸 which is why how you became a security guard to cure your gacha addiction... (You did not get cured at all btw, I was the credit card 💳) Making them think you were crazy, to which you respond...

"Crazy? 🤪 I 😜 was 😈 crazy 🤑 once. They 🤐 put 📦 me 👉😝👈 in 📩 a 😻 room. 😭 A rubber 😰 room 🤩 A 😥 rubber 😞 room 😢 with 😖 rats 🐀 And 😯 rats 🐀 make 😩 me 😬 CRAZY 🤪" Girl,,, both of them actually felt bad and decided to talk to you the entire time, making them forget about stealing 😊 for awhile... (Pookie that was such a smart response, I could NEVER come up with that 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️) You learn both of their names. Tetra and Pricilla, decided to "kidnap" you out of the museum and end up giving you some 💰💰💰 to help you in your gacha addiction...

You end up dragging them into the rabbit 🐇 hole 🕳 of playing PTN, that they became your friends in the game as well in real life... You also got them addicted to gacha... Now there's three of you 😈😈😈 You guys chat whenever they were free and hung out a LOT in your apartment, making it their second base to crash 💥 in after their usual heist. Sis... I'm going to ask you again, how do you manage to be friends with these people??? Were you some magnet for sinners? Maybe you should lend me some of your luck or smth... An: I still have some ideas 💡 left in me which is why I post often hee hee 🥰

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 7 (pt. 1)

[they read the intro cards, it's quite cringe]

Logan: "You know what the honor is..." (tries to gesture)

Alex, interrupting: "Because nothing says Tour de France like mad stats."

Logan (after waiting): "...You get to spin that wheel."

Alex: 😊😊

i know, i know, i start every episode out with The Bit. and this could be a paragraph almost identical to the last intro because at first it looks same-old, same-old: logan is describing the activity like he's reading his own death sentence, alex still has not learned how to play to the audience, they both brighten up a little bit on the **iconic** line. but there are some differences. the body language. the way alex is once again posing so awkwardly so he can face logan. the way he looks right at logan immediately, and then the laugh just sort of tumbles out of him and he can't even keep his head up, and the way logan turns to him and his eyes track the movement of alex curling in down and towards him and then he uses the card to gesture and bring alex back in as it's time to start the game

i was rewatching this moment listening to their voices and their laughter when the thought came to me suddenly: "it's like they're taking care of each other." and i didn't even know how to elaborate on that more but it just felt so right that i had to keep examining it and now it've got it. the thing is, they're both struggling at this point. a lot. logan for obvious reasons, but alex too, very much so. silly season is hitting williams hard. there's rumors of antonelli, rumors of sainz, rumors of a mid-season replacement. on top of that, checo's contract is at this point being both ridiculed and questioned because of his failure to meet the goals, and what are people benchmarking him against? not max, his teammate, but logan. because logan can now outqualify him. and that's not "oh my god look at how well logan's doing!" it's "oh my god look at how absolutely dogshit checo's doing" (the general discourse, not my opinion). even when the williams upgrades make an actual improvement, nobody notices or cares because everybody else makes bigger improvements. and while williams doesn't have the worst pr situation on the grid, ever since australia they've needed some serious image management and that hasn't been attended to enough. jv is publicly and aggressively courting carlos, making outrageous claims about How Well They're Doing, and the longer the team goes while pretending the logan situation doesn't exist, the more aggravated the fans get. the team isn't doing anything to address the growing tension, and they don't have the on-track performance to do the work for them, so who's left carrying such a huge portion of the entire team's image? alex. he's walking on a wire to avoid falling into the absolute shitstorm of william's pr while still supporting and representing the team that's given him a second chance. he has to juggle being compared to logan and outperforming his car and people saying he deserves better and his team principal's fumbling and knowing he could have all this resentment and bitterness and jealousy from logan and that's not there. and because he's already created this image of sunshiney cutesy cuddly cat dad, he can't afford to have a single moment of visible anger or frustration, even though that's literally how racing drivers just are. so in many ways he's completely trapped in multiple situations and he doesn't know what logan's thinking or what anyone else is thinking and he's overwhelmed.

and logan doesn't have anything. no team support, no chance at another team, no certainty about literally any event in his future from the next few years to the next few weeks. his last few moments with alex are starting to feel like a consolation prize, starting to feel even more painful because of how aware he is of the time running out. and logan can see past the disoriented rambling and the hyperactivity and the media personality, he knows alex is overwhelmed. and it's not something they feel they can talk about with each other because they're scared of hurting each other, of driving a wedge between them when every goodbye feels like the last. but here's logan, unable to feign interest, unable to give the camera anything to work with because he's tired and he's bitter and he just wants to stop owing these people. but alex is there, kind of looking like he forgot they were filming today, and logan can't do much but he can do this. he can make alex laugh. he can remind alex that it's fun to be silly, you can make something silly out of this stupidity, that it's okay and the resentment at the whole thing doesn't need to be there and that they're going to get through this and they're actually going to have fun. he turns all the way into alex and watches his reaction, eyes him up and down, and his smile gets a little sadder and a little more mature as he lets alex half-fold towards him because "logan that isn't even funny how am i laughing every single time". and it's become this sort of ritual for them. it's literally just A Bit but it's their way of stepping all the way out of formula fuckup life and into just this little bubble of each other and a game. "okay, we're going to let this go now. we're going to forget that it's stupid and we don't want to be their social media guinea pigs and we're both being mistreated yet expected to deliver performances like we're not. we're just going to forget that and we're going to have fun with each other and it's going to be nice because we can do it together." and even with everything that's happening, logan is the one who initiates that. he flicks the switch for both of them. and alex's laugh is amusement, yeah, but it's also just relief– the beautiful dissociative relief of leaving everything behind for just a little bit. it's gotten to the point where alex visibly waits on that cue. he looks fidgety and frustrated and out of it and like a kid who got dragged to his mom's book club until logan starts even the beginning of the sentence and then he looks over and the smile starts to flit across his face and then the channel changes. logan's carrying them both over the threshold.

[the question is about average speed]

Logan (such a dumbass annoying smile): "Can I answer in miles per hour? I'm kidding ha ha HAA 😎😎😎" *smacks table* "Ah that's funny..."

Alex:

Alex:

Alex a million years later: 😂

ah, we haven't had one of these in a while. logan being a little shit just to annoy alex. alex being so annoyed and then so endeared he basically short-circuits. that was such a stupid joke and even the way he laughed was like "i just made the STUPIDEST joke >:)" it like has the tone of a dad joke but not even that it's just stupid... and he's the only one who laughs. even though it's obviously forced because that's pretty much part of the joke, it's supposed to be so not funny it actually is funny.

and then logan moves on from that and heads straight into thinking-too-hard-about-this mode and alex is processing on internet explorer speed. he laughs first when logan looks over at him with that stupid shit eating "did you hear that STUPID joke i just made" look and then he does the signature blush and look away (seriously we might have heart-eyes piastri and fuck me-eyes leclerc but what about cast-down eyes albon because he literally cannot hold eye contact when he's flustered which is 80% of the time in logan's presence) and then as logan starts musing about the question alex is like– i swear, he's playing logans expression over again in his head. he's tilted in logan's direction, not looking at anything, and i swear to god he's just remember logan's dumb shit-eating smile and thinking about the joke itself and then suddenly he's laughing. and he doesn't mean to and it even sounds unexpected like it's taking the breath out of him and then he literally has to interrupt himself like, "um! sorry!" because it takes him some time to regain his composure. logan crept out of the shadows just long enough to drop a shit joke and now he's huddled back but that moment is sticking way longer in alex's head than it should. bringing himself back to the game and out of his own head/imagination nearly pains him.

(will continue soon but jeez i had a LOT to say!)

ep 7 pt 2

[karniss-bg3]

I just want to add to the last ask, it's so hard to figure out Kar'niss actual alignment because he is given so little space for his own personality to show. He is being used for a cause and his mind was messed with to align with that cause. He was cast out by one horrible cult and before he could go through any phase of self discovery (cause, you know, a cult barely leaves space for that) he was snatched by another cult. It's pretty safe to say that there was no space in his life to ever figure out what HE wants.

Following the Absolute he pretty much has his sense of self entirely tied to that. And it's so tragic. There is no room for anything else and given that nobody bothers to interact with him on a normal level, it's truly all he has left.

I found it quite frustrating that upon meeting him we can't even talk to him in peace without being interrupted by someone else in almost every conversation choice.

He's not treated like a person by anyone really. They say horrible things either straight to him or so loudly that he'd definitely hear it. And those who don't simply are too afraid, like Kansif who can't even look him in the eyes.

And yet, if you talk to him in the few moments where you actually get to do so without being interrupted, there's not a single meanspirited thing coming from his side towards the player.

He's very very mentally ill and disturbed, but he's not a rabid animal that will attack unprovoked.

Every time he gets angry, there's a reason for it that could have been avoided. Like people not listening to what he told them and the 'compliments' you can give him as a Dark Urge aren't really compliments. You can't call someone beautiful and an abomination in the same sentence and expect them to be happy. And when you ask him if you can look at the lantern it's also so ... idk, it's icky. You do it in a way as if you already assume you can. It's like as if someone I just met wants to inspect my phone and assumes it's gonna be fine, I'd also be like wtf?? No?

If we had the option to interact more with him and overall be nicer and more considerate I'm sure some things would play out very differently.

And I think if given the chance he'd have one of the most interesting and emotionally intense romance routes in the game.

There is SO much to unpack. There is so much to work through, but also so much potential for an amazing outcome. Or something deeply tragic. Either way, I'm sure it would leave an impact and it could be great. But his story would need a lot of time to make it work, and it needs to be handled very delicately. He's not like a quick fling you can just write into the game, like for example the drow twins. I can barely imagine anything more cruel than giving him a bit of actual affection and a connection outside of the Absolute and then just leaving him behind and taking it away again.

So I personally think the most we can realistically hope for is a few interactions where we can at least NOT be rude or outright awful to him.

But maybe the devs will surprise us and figure out a way to let us bring him along. I'd honestly be so insanely happy. I really want something good for him. He is one of those characters who feels the least deserving of the fate and treatment he got and it's so heartbreaking.

I love this response, no notes to really add. This sums it up in a solid way. I'll always hope for better options in terms of Kar'niss, side character be damned. We love who we love, can't help that!

Thanks for the response!

[widowswineapologist]

I'm very curious about Modern AU Primis Richtofen and how it usually would be spending evenings with his s/o

a/n: i wish i could understand the appeal behind domesticity when it comes to modern aus 😭😭 i default to wanting to teach the crew internet lingo- 

♡ i feel like it's just in edward's blood to pick a mentally demanding job, no matter what timeline or universe he's in. the man can't catch a break frrr…

♡ so, usually when comes home from whatever job he has, the absolute first thing he does is basically face plant onto the softest thing he can find so he can decompress for a good couple of minutes. 

♡ it's not uncommon for him to just grab you and flop on the couch during this little "ritual" of his. you better pray you weren't doing anything important because you have a tall german man clinging onto you like a koala and he will be VERY upset if anything interrupts this quick cuddle time. 

♡ after that, i think anything is fair game! he'll usually talk to you about his day, and he'll listen if you want to tell him about yours. he's a good listener :3 (shocking, i know)

♡ this is just a general headcanon i have, but he's definitely the type to have a chore chart or something like that. he doesn't like housework being a one-sided thing, he does his part and he expects you to do yours too. (though, he'll give you a free pass or two if you bribe him <3)

♡ with that in mind, it's not uncommon for him to be the one cooking dinner. he actually quite enjoys being in the kitchen, it's calming for him at times. richtofen's entertained the thought of cooking with you before but he tends to get very commanding when he cooks and he doesn't want to treat you like that :[ (he'll save that for the bedroom JKJK)

♡ i definitely feel like it's also a common occurrence for you two to be doing completely different activities, even though you're basically right beside each other. richtofen usually always has something he needs to be doing, and your presence makes it a lot easier for him to put the work in. he just likes existing with you, it makes him happy. there has been a lot of times where you have both been sitting on the couch and he's working on some kind of paperwork and you're working on your own projects, and you're both there and you're happy :) 

♡ richtofen definitely has suggested some kind of game night to you before. you indulged him, but quickly regretted it because instead of something fun like monopoly or charades, he instead wanted to play things like chess or scrabble. luckily, there's a bunch of board games that combine both fun and intellectual capability, so you haven't ruled game night out entirely. god help you if he suggests playing a game he created himself. 

♡ occasionally, you'll have movie night, in which you will have to brave richtofen critiquing a movie to dust for the entire duration of said movie. he'll shut up if you "shh" him a couple of times, but he'll pout about it. if he's lucky, you're one of those people that like video essays so you'll listen to every single one of his critiques and add in a few of your own. he'd give cinemasins a run for their money ong- 

♡ more often than not, you'll be ready for bed before him. you practically have to drag him to bed every night because he'll always, and i mean ALWAYS, tell you he has some more work to do and he'll meet you in a few minutes, which then turns into a few hours, which then turns into him falling asleep at his desk and waking up late for work. no matter how many times you scold him, this never changes. you're about to chain him to the bed at this point.

♡ (which, let's be honest, he might enjoy.) 

[rjjameshiii]

RJ's Platinum Collection #21: The Quarry

Achieved on 3/6/2023 at 9:15 PM

Going by the fact that some of my previous Platinum's included Until Dawn, The Dark Pictures games, Detroit: Become Human, etcetera, I think it's no secret I love games where I can make choices that affect the plot. And Supermassive is really good at making horror games of that exact nature. So when The Quarry came out, I was super excited to play it and the Platinum for it!

Also, Brenda Song is in it. Enough said.

You get put in the shoes of nine teenagers - Ryan, Kaitlyn, Dylan, Emma, Abi, Jacob, Nick, Laura, and Max - as they spend one last night at the summer camp they've been working at in the woods. However, things go sideways real fast when the teens realize they're being stalked and hunted by a family of werewolves. So it's up to the player to help them all survive the night and make it out of the Quarry alive, with the assistance of a ghostly medium named Eliza in-between chapters.

I started by going into the game and doing a blind first playthrough. I figured that I had done such a good job with a blind playthrough in House of Ashes, I could probably do it again right? Well, unfortunately, that was not the case. By the time I finished the Epilogue of my first playthrough, I had only managed to keep three of the characters alive (Abi, Nick, and Max). Well, you win some, you lose some. At least I got 20 trophies still.

1/41: What's This? - Collected your first clue.

2/41: Forewarned Is Forearmed - Got a Tarot reading.

3/41: Prologue - Complete the Prologue.

4/41: The Truth Is Out There - Collected your first piece of evidence.

5/41: Chapter 1 - Complete Chapter 1.

6/41: It's All Coming Together - Found a matching clue.

7/41: Chapter 2 - Complete Chapter 2.

8/41: Chapter 3 - Complete Chapter 3.

9/41: Chapter 4 - Complete Chapter 4.

10/41: Chapter 5 - Complete Chapter 5.

11/41: Chapter 6 - Complete Chapter 6.

12/41: Chapter 7 - Complete Chapter 7.

13/41: Chapter 8 - Complete Chapter 8.

14/41: Reactionist - Activated 15 interrupts.

15/41: You're Breathetaking! - Passed five Don't Breath events.

16/41: Phlebotomy - Accepted the bite of a werewolf.

17/41: Mutually Assured - Laura and Travis killed each other.

18/41: Chapter 9 - Complete Chapter 9.

19/41: Chapter 10 - Complete Chapter 10.

20/41: Epilogue - Witnessed the Epilogue.

Onto my second playthrough! This time I used my knowledge of how I failed in the first playthrough, plus a few helpful guides, to make sure that all nine teens stayed alive. I also wanted to get all Tarot cards, all clues, and all evidence on this playthrough, but it turns out that is impossible because of a single path decision in Chapter 2. If you go one way, you find a Tarot card. If you go the other way, you find a Clue. However, you can't get BOTH on one playthrough. That is deeply irritating. I decided to do the Tarot cards, and eventually succeeded in my endeavor for an Everyone Survives playthrough.

21/41: Nick Of Time - Successfully took the fastest route to Nick.

22/41: Above The Law - Travis and Laura agreed to work together.

23/41: Decked Out - Found all Tarot cards.

24/41: The White Wolf - Killed Silas.

25/41: Family Matters - Killed all of the Hacketts.

26/41: Rough Night - Kept everyone alive.

I thought I had gotten all the evidence as well, but it turns out I missed one. However, I then discovered that it doesn't count if you just go to chapter select and pick up what you missed. I ended up having to do a third playthrough just to get the trophy for finding all ten pieces of evidence. Again, deeply irritating.

27/41: Conspiracy Theorist - Collected all evidence.

I then used chapter select to quickly replay Chapter 9 so that Ryan dies in the Hackett house, but Laura is able to kill Travis and escape so that she and Max reunite on the island. It was a cute little scene.

28/41: Should've Gone To The Motel - Reunited Laura and Max.

I then decided to just get a very easy trophy out of the way and start a movie mode playthrough. You don't need to actually finish it - just starting movie mode at all gets you the trophy.

29/41: Creature Feature - Started a movie mode playthrough.

I then started another new playthrough, this time going for making sure all nine characters died. I also went for the trophy for refusing Eliza's help in-between each chapter, since why bother learning the future if I already know everyone is gonna be dead?

30/41: Just A Flesh Wound - Saved a friend from infection.

31/41: Lovers' Quarrel - Nick killed Abi.

32/41: Hard Pass - Refused Eliza's help at every opportunity.

33/41: Hackett's Quarry Massacre - Killed everyone.

I then replayed Chapters 9 and 10 twice to get the trophies for having Kaitlyn be the sole survivor and for having Ryan be the sole survivor.

34/41: The Final Girl - Kaitlyn survived the night alone.

35/41: Last Man Standing - Ryan survived the night alone.

Now it was time for my fifth playthrough, this time going for the trophy for getting all nine characters turned into werewolves. You could do this on an Everybody Lives playthrough, but I just didn't think to do it at the time. Max, Laura, and Nick all get infected no matter what, but the other six require you to make specific choices in order to get them bitten. I also made sure to get all of the clues, and I also got the trophy for never missing in combat encounters as well.

36/41: Bizarre Yet Bonafide - Listened to the podcast.

37/41: Blood Pact - Infected every character.

38/41: Meddling Kids! - Collected all clues.

39/41: Peanut Butter Butterpops! - Never missed in a combat encounter.

Now I just had one more trophy, and it was for Jacob telling Emma the truth about how he sabotaged the car to keep them at camp for one more night. But in order to do that, you need Emma to be infected and then cured, but Jacob can't get infected at all. That did require me to do a partial playthrough of the game, but once I got the scene and unlocked the trophy, the Platinum was mine!

40/41: Nobody's Fool - Jacob told Emma the truth.

41/41: What Doesn't Kill You... - Achieved all the trophies!

I thought The Quarry was a great addition to Supermassive's collection - not as good as Until Dawn, but good in it's own right. However, I once again had to do multiple entire playthroughs of the game to get the Platinum, which I'm not the biggest fan of.

Rating: 8/10

[tqmies]

Congrats on 1K! Can I have 41 and 53, roommate haechan? Thank you so much

Go Away | Lee Haechan

Part of Tqmies 1K Event!

Room mate au! 41. “I… I think I’m happy.” “You think? So you’re not one hundred percent certain?” 53. "Hey, you haven't come out of your room in like two days...I'm not worried or anything but the dishes are piling up and I need you to be alive so you can take care of them, so...", wc: 1.1k note: thank you so much <3 hope you enjoy it, domestic room mate hyuck?? i cry

6 days, it had been that long since you had broken up with your boyfriend of over two years. And of course, the first few days were okay, which was different from what you expected. You truly thought you'd be downing tubs of ice cream in front of the TV watching sad romance flicks. Like they do in all the cliche movies.

However, your little breakdown didn't come until a few days later. Everything needed time to settle in, and once it did? Oh boy.

Your friends had managed to keep you occupied for the first few days, but you weren't exactly a joy to be around. Not even as they dragged you to the club to remind you how great being single could be. You just couldn't find it in you to enjoy your time out.

Either way, you had returned home to Lee Haechan, your menace of a roommate. And in fact, your current state could all directly be pointed back to him.

It had been a normal Thursday, you returning home to him on the couch, playing one of his stupid games on your shared console.

You were sniffling a bit, frustrated at another cancelled date with your boyfriend. He had been getting far too busy to spend time with the likes of you, and you could feel him slipping away.

You tried not to think about it too much, choosing to hold your sanity. That was until Haechan took note of your form, and asked why you looked like your dog died, whatever that meant.

"He cancelled again, that asshole! I mean, I get that he's busy and all, but so am I! He could've let me know he had a meeting today, is my time not worth as much as his?" You let out, dropping your bag with a loud thud on the floor. "He never communicates with me! Is it that hard to send a text saying you're not going to make it? It must be, because I was waiting there for an hour and a half before he let me know!"

And you storm off to the kitchen, Haechan following diligently behind you. "Maybe he just got really caught up in work." He says meekly, a little afraid of your wrath at the moment, but also feeling bad for you.

You force open the fridge, ignoring Haechans small words. You look around it for a few seconds, brows furrowing as you whip your head back to him. "Where's all the damn alcohol!"

"What?" He says, taken aback as you move to check the bottom cabinets. You move things around, huffing when you can't find a single bottle.

"I know you're here somewhere!" You speak, apparently talking to the alcohol. You even allow yourself a tear to fall, though all you can feel is anger at the moment. Yeah, you've lost it.

"Wait, okay. Instead of drinking, why don't we just talk about it?" He suggests, attempting to divert your attention.

You're not having it though. "Talk? Did he take time to talk to me? No! So I don't think-"

"Woah, woah, slow down." Haechan interrupts. "It sounds like you're angry about more than just today, you seem really upset."

"Well it wasn't just today, he's been doing this so much. We haven't been on a proper date in months." You speak, crossing your arms. Scoffing, you place your hands on the counter. "But God forbid I miss a single phone call of his, and then he's all sulky the rest of the day, and they say I'm the dramatic one!"

"Well maybe it's time to call it quits then."

You blink, staring back at Haechan. "What?"

The thought had truly never crossed your mind, sure you were upset. But enough to break up with your boyfriend? Were things really that bad?

"It doesn't seem like you're benefiting from this relationship, that's all I'm saying." He speaks again, shrugging.

"Relationships aren't about benefiting!" You groan, throwing your hands up.

"I get that, but you don't even seem happy." He retorts, and he meant it. Every time you opened your mouth related to your boyfriend, it was a complaint or angry statement.

And you hated that he was a bit right. "I... I think I'm happy."

"You think? So you're not one hundred percent certain?" He asks, and you hate how hard you're thinking about it.

You were so unhappy.

That revelation led you to where you were at the moment. Bundled up in blankets as you mourned a relationship that you had ended.

And part of you stupidly blames Haechan, but you can barely justify why. All he did was open your eyes to how bad your relationship was.

Though you're still a bit annoyed that he planned the break up seed in your head, and that you had allowed it to bloom into a real course of action. It was definitely for the best, but it still hurt like hell.

So after refusing another forced day out, you were currently wallowing in self pity, watching the latest episode of your comfort show.

Truth be told, you hadn't lifted a finger all day, choosing to remain in bed. And you did that the next day as well, willing yourself to eat small meals Haechan left outside your door.

He didn't want to bother you too much, figuring you were taking this a bit harder than he thought. You seemed fine the other day, but he assumed the reality hit you.

But against all his restraint, he finally willed himself to knock on your door. He calls your name, to which he receives no answer. You're not in the mood for company, can't he just let you rot in your room?

The answer was no. "Hey, you haven't come out of your room in like two days...I'm not worried or anything but the dishes are piling up and I need you to be alive so you can take care of them, so..."

You admit, you giggle a little at his mention of your usual chore. But you barely will yourself to shout a little. "Do them yourself."

"I don't think so!" He complains, leaning against your closed door. "Last time I did them you said to never let me again."

You laugh, for the first time in a few days. "That's because you spent the entire time playing with bubbles instead of washing anything."

"Bubbles are cool, you're weird for not playing with them!" He responds, smiling at the little chuckle that leaves your lips.

"Go away." You speak, half-heartedly. "Let me decay in peace."

"No," He says, rolling his eyes. "Can I come in?"

"I haven't bathed in two days."

"That can be arranged, I'll help you wash your hair after." He offers, and you're thankful for it.

"Okay," You speak, wiping the stray tears residing on your face. You will yourself to get out of bed, standing by your door. You can see the shadow of his feet under it, and you grin. "Thank you Haechan."

"Anytime." He says, and you feel your heart flutter a bit at that.

He'd always be here for you, and he'd make sure you knew that.

[latalpavolante]

Honeydew Houses (furnished)

It's been 84 years, but I finally finished furnishing my Britechester apartment building(s). Yes, I can hardly believe it myself.

Honeydew Houses, in the heart of the old town, offer six units with different layouts, decorated in different styles. There's a small shared laundry room on the groundfloor, and the apts. include:

Seven Bedrooms - Six Bathrooms in total (so one bedroom - one bathroom per apartment, only the one on the first floor has two bedrooms)

Basement, left: Grungy Apt.

Basement, right: Musician's Apt.

Groundfloor: Caretaker's Apt.

First Floor: Single Mom's Apt.

Second Floor: Dark Academia Apt.

Third Floor/Attic: Painter's Mansard

If you prefer to furnish them yourself, you can download an (almost) empty version of this build from the gallery as well.

Lot Type: Residential

Lot: Honeydew Fields, 20x15, Gibbs Hill, Britechester

Lot Traits: (honestly I forgot to add them to the finished build, but considering the lore, I would have probably gone for) Homey, Study Spot, Great Acoustics

Price: § 294,594

Packs: CottageLiving | EcoLifestyle | DiscoverUniversity | GetFamous | CatsAndDogs | CityLiving | GetTogether | GetToWork | Werewolves | Parenthood | Vampires | Paranormal | LaundryDay | ModernLuxe | BasementTreasures | Everyday Clutter

noCC

MoveObjectsOn cheat required

Playtested (I found two minor issues which I decided to ignore for the sake of the backstory and/or aesthetics, and a bigger one that drives me insane but I don't know how to fix; more info under the cut)

Available on the Sims 4 gallery!

Tray Files: Google Drive

Heads-up: this build might be a little bit heavy on older pcs as it's very cluttered and detailed. The file size is ca. 503 KB, so pretty high for a 20x15 lot, and my laptop was taking ages to load when I placed the build in a new save for some last playtesting, so please keep that in mind and make sure to save your game before adding it (and bulldoze the lot before you do), just in case. Sorry for the inconvenience!

And I also made some sims for this build...

Gallery ID: LaTalpaVolante

You can find a playlist with the speed builds for all the six apartments on my Youtube channel:

More info and floorplans under the cut!

As you can tell from the list of packs, I haven't used For Rent for this as I don't have this expansion yet, so the apartments technically aren't separate units. I just added all the tenants as one household and assigned them their apts. by locking the other doors; or you could of course play around with the roommate system as well, or turn the apts. into proper rental units if you own For Rent.

Known Issues (I'm sorry, I know these explanations shouldn't be that long...)

In the grungy basement apt., the access to the right side of the bed is blocked by the punchbag. Sims can still get into the bed from the left side without problems. Because I had intended the apt. to be for one single sim anyway and it was more important for me to keep the punchbag, considering the hobbies and backstory of this sim, I decided to just go with it. But if you want to move two sims in, you'll either have to make one of them scoot over in the bed or delete the punchbag.

In the caretaker's apt. on the groundfloor, sims can't remove dirty dishes from the dining table. Otherwise sims can interact with that table perfectly fine (they can sit down and eat, do homework, read etc.), they just can't take dirty dishes from the table. This is apparently caused by the decorative shelf in the corner because its footprint slightly overlaps the one of the table. Easiest fix would be to either completely delete the shelf or just move the table away from it. However, because moving the table away from the wall looked a bit weird, and in my gameplay, I tend to just manually drag the dirty dishes into the sink anyway, I decided to ignore it.

The Interrupted Cooking Interaction in Basements Desaster Yeah. I basically made a whole post about this, but to sum it up, there seems to be a general issue where sims refuse to autonomously complete a cooking interaction in the basement when there are other cooking opportunities (=stoves, counters) available on the lot. If you play this build with the locked doors method, like me, and you want your sim to cook in one of the basement apts., they will take out the ingredients from the fridge, then behave as if the stove/counters were blocked (although I made sure they're accessible) and put the ingredients down. If you then click on the ingredients and choose to continue cooking, sims will however complete the interaction as if nothing happened. (If you don't lock the doors to the other apts., sims from the basement will automatically go upstairs to cook and ignore the basement kitchen.) I spent a ridiculous amount of time playtesting it over and over again and trying to figure out what exactly causes the problem, but I really couldn't find a solution and I'm extremely sorry for this. Maybe if you've got For Rent, turning the apts. into proper rental units might fix this issue? Please let me know in case you encounter any other problems (or if you know a way to fix the last one...)!

Floorplans

[matcha-kisses]

IV

wordcount: 2.1k+

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"Bai, your grandfather is looking for you. I can take you to him." Leang offered , interrupting Zuko and Bai from their conversation.

Bai looked up and noticed how the sky was turning orange and pink. Zuko and Bai spent most of the afternoon in the royal courtyard. Bai told Zuko how she thought the courtyard looked so pretty the night of Azula's party. So, he decided  to give her a closer look. Yes, he may have been trying to impress her, but what was he suppose to do? Their afternoon with filled with such fun activities like playing games, asking questions about each other, and feeding the turtle ducks. That was actually Bai's favorite part; they're so cute! So, it made her disappointed knowing her day with Zuko had come to an end. She knows she spent all day with Zuko, but it still didn't feel enough. She wishes she could've spent a little bit more time. But there's always tomorrow, right?

"Oh, okay." Bai pouted.

Zuko couldn't help but to have the same pout Bai did. He wishes she didn't have to leave. He loved having her around.

Bai rose to her feet and walked to Leang. But before she made it, she felt a certain young prince grab her sleeve.

"Bai!"

"Yes, prince Zuko?"

"Um... I will see you tomorrow. And... I had fun today."

Bai felt her heart swell and her tummy do a round of flips. It made her happy knowing that the feeling was mutual.

"As did I, prince Zuko." Bai said, bowing.

Bai felt Leang's hand softly grabbing her own. She knew it was time for her to leave. Besides, Papa was waiting for her. Bai waved one more goodbye to the prince before she was completely out of Zuko's sight.

As Leang and Bai walked to the front of the palace, Bai couldn't help but to smile. She had a wonderful time with Zuko. She thought about how sweet and understanding he was to her. Even if she would say something boring, he'd act like it was the most interesting thing he's ever listened to; He was totally focused in on everything she was saying.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"So, you've never traveled outside of the kingdom before?" Zuko asked.

The truth was Bai's family couldn't because Ming didn't feel safe leaving her home unless it was absolutely necessary. Both Yao and Ming feared that people would gaze upon Ming and know she is of Water Tribe decent. The Fire Nation heard the rumors of a waterbender escaping prison easily, and the couple didn't want to draw any unwanted attention. It would be awful for Ming and Yao if they knew the truth.

But of course, Bai makes up a random excuse. She couldn't tell Zuko this. Although, she believes she could. She knows he'd keep a secret; he says he's very good. But she didn't want to even go down that path.

"Nope! My Papa is very dedicated to work, and it's hard to travel with my Gramma."

"Oh... I'm sorry about that."

"It's okay," Bai cheered. "I like it here!"

"Well, maybe... nevermind."

"What?"

"No, it's stupid." Zuko said. How could he even mention it to Bai!

"No! Tell me."

"Well," Zuko started nervously. "Maybe one day we could go to Ember Island. It's a really fun place! My family used to go all the time!"

Bai couldn't believe what she was hearing. Zuko wanted to go somewhere special with her?"

"Really? You mean that?"

"Of course I do." Zuko said, smiling brightly.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"There's my happy girl!" Yao bellowed.

Bai snapped out of her thoughts and saw her Papa. She hopes he doesn't ask as to why she was smiling.

"Papa!" Bai cheered- running to her Papa and giving him a tight hug.

"I've missed you today button!"

"And I've missed you too! I can't wait to tell you about my day!"

"Well, it is a walk from here to the palace. I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to tell me." Yao said, grabbing Bai's hand and starting their journey home.

"And I won't miss a single detail!"

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Zuko's POV:

"Oh, Zuzu!"

I rolled my eyes at Azula's voice. Of course, after having the perfect day, Azula has to come in and ruin it somehow.

Let's just get this over with. Fast.

"What do you want, Azula?" I griped.

"Wow, you haven't seen me all day, and this is how you talk to me? I thought you were better than that Zuzu."

"Stop calling me that!"

Azula smiled sinisterly. She loved that she was getting to me.

"Well, I was just seeing how was your day with Bai. I overheard some servants and found out you spent all day with her!" Azula sneered.

"Yeah? And what's the big deal." I wasn't going to listen to Azula talked down on Bai. She hasn't did any wrong.

"Well, the big deal is that you obviously have eyes for her! I've never seen you get like this before- not even around Mai."

I wanted to scream in Azula's face, and tell her how wrong she is. But I couldn't bring myself. I think I do like Bai... a lot. She's just all around perfect, and I didn't want someone like her to slip from my grip that easily.

"Aha! I knew it! You do have eyes for her! Which, it's understandable. She is a pretty like-able girl. Ty Lee and Mai like her. Well, not Mai, but I don't have to explain why-"

"Is this going somewhere? And why do you care?" I snapped. I wanted to get away from my sister as fast as I could.

"I'm just saying be careful."

"What are you talking about?" Why would I need to be careful I'm sure Bai isn't the type to hurt other people.

"Father wouldn't be happy if he finds out you like some servant girl. It wouldn't be a good look for the Fire Nation. Oh, I know! Maybe she could be the royal concubine! Father may have an easier time seeing you with a nasty girl than a poor one."

I felt my blood boiling and felt my hands heating up. But I won't snap. I won't give Azula that satisfaction.

"She isn't just some servant girl, and she's not some future concubine. Her name is Bai, and she happens to be one of the best people I've ever met! You're just jealous because you wish you were at least half the girl she is!" I screamed.

"I understand that, Zuzu! All I'm saying is father may not. I'm just looking out for you- no reason to get snippy, brother."

Azula whipped her head and walked in the opposite direction. I let out a sigh of relief. Finally, she was gone.

But I thought of what she was saying. It kept ringing in my mind- over and over again. As much as I hate to admit it, my father would probably have something to say about Bai. It's not that I care of her status because I don't! She's more than just a "servant." She's intelligent, kindhearted, funny, and not to mention beautiful. Which, I guess she was beautiful enough to be a concubine, but I don't want her to do that! I don't want her getting caught up in tag life! Don't even think like that Zuko. The point is that it shouldn't have to matter what Bai does.

But I know that all my father would think about the image of the Fire Nation.

I shook my those wretched thoughts from my head. I won't worry about that- not now at least. I'm just going to back in the joy I feel right now.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"Ming? Sweetheart?"

"Gramma?"

Bai and Yao has just made it home from work. Usually, Ming would stand at the door, and wait for Yao to come. So, it was a little strange not to see her.

"I wonder where she could be at, Papa."

Yao suddenly noticed a note on the table. He figured it was for Ming. It was probably a note saying she went out to the market or either she took a nighttime walk.

"Bai? Why don't you get a bath and change from those clothes? I'll look around the house to see where Gramma is." Yao offered.

"But, she's here, right?"

"Yes, I'm sure of it my sweet. And she might've just taken a walk. But she's here. She couldn't have gone that far."

Bai nodded her head in agreement and then ran to the bathroom, leaving Yao alone. He walked over to the table where the note sat. He noticed the note was too long for Ming to say she went out for a walk. His hands began to grow cold and sweaty.

It's fine. I'm sure everything is fine.

But everything wasn't fine. Nothing could've prepared Yao for what he saw on that note.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Bai slipped on her nightgown and took a deep breath of satisfaction. She always love the feeling of getting out of the bath and putting on her soft nightgown.

She walked back to the kitchen- expecting to see Gramma. Surely, she should be back by now, she thought to herself. But when she entered the kitchen, she didn't see Gramma. She only saw saw her Papa- who looked completely heartbroken.

"Papa?" Bai asked nervously.

Yao looked up at his granddaughter. He tried swallowing the lump he felt in his throat and hold back the tears that were begging to slip from his eyes. He wanted to stay strong for Bai. He didn't want her to see that he was breaking. But he couldn't do it; He wasn't strong enough.

Bai started to panic. She's never ever seen her papa get upset like this before. He was the family's rock... but he seems to be breaking.

"What's wrong, papa?"

While Bai was in the shower, Yao tried thinking of ways to break the news without crushing her. However, he couldn't come up with any. He knew that would hurt her no matter what he said. This isn't easy news to tell anyone- especially a child.

"Well... it looks like... it's just going to be us for a while." Yao croaked.

What is he talking about? There's 3 of us! Me, Gramma, and Papa! There can't be just two of us.

"I don't understand. Where's Gramma?"

Yao couldn't say anything. He could only hand Bai the note Ming had left. The note that crushed his soul:

Dear Yao,

I'm so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. It's nothing to do with you or Bai. You are my world and I love you both very much. But I can't live in a here anymore.

I've always felt a longing to be reunited with my people, but I loved you too much. I put our family first and tried thinking what was best for Bai. However, these last few years of war has truly wore me down. I hear the stories you tell me of how Fire Nation soldiers come in and wipe out towns that are full of innocent people. And the worst part is that they have no good reason.

I've been very good and suppressing my feelings and have tried my best at doing so. But I couldn't stand any longer when I found out Bai was getting involved. That's not a path I want to see her go down, but I wasn't going to stop her.

But I couldn't just sit by any longer. So, I have returned back to the South Pole where I hope I can find the internal peace I'm searching for. Please understand I love you and Bai so much. And please tell her to never stop waterbending; it's how I feel connected with her, and how I hope she would feel connected with me.

Your loving wife,

Ming

Bai couldn't say anything. She didn't even feel nothing. The only thing she felt was the tears welling up in her small eyes. She wrapped her small arms around Yao's neck. He pulled his sweet close and held her in his large arms. Bai started sobbing into his neck and couldn't stop the tears from rolling.

"I know. I know." Yao softly spoke.

They didn't say anything for a long time; Yao and Bai just sat in silence, feeling a great amount of lost and sorrow.

And the worst part was, it could never be fixed.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

A/N: I know this chapter was shorter than normal. It’ll go back to being longer, but given how this one was written, it had to be cut a bit shorter.

I really hope you guys are enjoying this story so far! If you’d like to read more of it, it is also available on my Wattpad: matcha_kisses

I am also planning on making an ao3 account, and putting this there as well!

[babygirl-diaz]

The Transfer

In which, a new transfer from Texas joins the 118.

He is a big guy with a big heart who can charm anyone with his accent. Well, anyone except one Evan Buckley. Buck and Eddie are having issues because Eddie has feelings and he told Buck about those feelings a week ago. Buck didn't know what to say so he started ignoring Eddie instead. So when the new guy barrels his way into the 118 and acts like he's always been there and is especially friendly with Eddie, Buck doesn't like it one bit. This guy just pisses him off. He absolutely hates it when the guy stands close to Eddie or god forbid slings his arm around Eddie's shoulder. Eddie doesn't hang out with Buck anymore and that might just be Buck's fault. But he knows Eddie hangs out with the new guy. Every morning, they talk about the game they watched, the video games they played, or the new dish the new guy taught Eddie how to cook. Looks like even Christopher has moved on from Buck and taken to the new guy instead. Buck sees red every time the new guy gets close to Eddie. Despite how big he was, Buck wants to snap him in half. Buck wasn't a violent guy but this man made him want to commit violent acts.

"There's something off about him," Buck tells Maddie one night as he's hanging out with her and Chimney.

"Like what? He seems perfectly normal to me," Chimney replies. "He might a little too friendly-"

"So you noticed it too, right?!" Buck practically jumps out of his seat. "He's way too friendly with Eddie."

"Eddie?" Chimney asks as he stops stirring the soup. "Where did Eddie come into this?"

"Oh, Eddie is part of Buck's very conversation," Maddie replies taking a sip of her wine.

"Right," Chimney says suspiciously but leaves it at that. "So what if he's friendly with Eddie? They have a lot in common. They both served, they are both single dads, and they're both from Texas."

Buck's heart drops when Chimney puts it like that. Because yeah, they do have a lot in common.

Buck spends the next few days trying to talk to Eddie but now he's the one actively ignoring him.

Buck once manages to corner Eddie at the station but the new guy pops out of nowhere and interrupts them.

Then Buck finds out something that breaks his heart into a million little pieces.

"What do you mean they're going out on a date tonight?" Buck's voice goes high when he overhears Chimney. He's about to leave the station when he finds Chim and Hen drinking coffee and gossiping.

"It's a bad habit to eavesdrop, Evan," Chimney chastises him playfully before adding, "But to answer your question, yes, the new guy and Eddie are going on a date tonight. I heard him ask Eddie earlier. They're going to the sports bar near Eddie's place."

That was their place. His and Eddie's. Buck wonders sadly. But nope. That was the last straw. He couldn't let the new guy steal Eddie away from him more than he already had.

He hears Chimney and Hen calling him as he runs out of the fire station like his ass was on fire. The irony in that. He gets into his jeep and drives to the bar at record speed, probably breaking a few traffic laws along the way.

He goes directly to the sports bar, still dressed in his LAFD uniform, and looks around for Eddie. When he finds them at the other end of the bar, he stomps his way over to them, clearly surprising both of them.

Eddie looks nice. He's dressed in a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow along with the tightest pair of black jeans Buck has ever seen. He looks beautiful.

"Buck, what are you doing here?" Eddie asks

"Buckaroo, did you forget your way home or summin'?" The new guy teases him instead.

Buck grits his teeth but turns his attention to Eddie. "We need to talk."

"I have nothing to say to you," Eddie tells him. "Now please leave."

Buck tries not to pout at that. "You can't date him!" He blurts out.

Both Eddie and the new guy look confused. But then Eddie says, "Why not? I can date whoever I want."

"And he clearly wants me." The new guy reaches out and tries to take Eddie's hand but Buck stops him before he can. He shoves the new guy's hand away and glares at him before turning his gaze on Eddie instead.

"Edd-"

"Just go away, Buck. You've made it clear that you don't want anything to do with me. So stop creating a scene."

"Okay," Buck sighs. "You know what?"

Before Eddie can say anything else, Buck picks him up from the stool and throws him over his shoulder like a caveman, and carries him out. Buck can hear cheers and wolf whistles behind them but he doesn't care. He places a squirming Eddie down on the ground next to his jeep and pins him against it. "You can't date him," he says again in a low voice.

"Why not? And why does it matter to you, who I date?" Eddie asks pushing Buck away. "I told you how I felt about you but you didn't even have the decency to let me down. You just started ignoring me."

"Eddie, I'm sorry," Buck tries to get closer to him again but Eddie puts his hand up to stop him.

"Decide what you want, Buck, then come back to me," with that Eddie turns around to go back to the bar.

"I love you, Eddie! I love you and that's why I don't want you to date, the new guy."

Eddie turns around to face Buck and shakes his head. "It always has to be about you, doesn't it?"

"Ed-"

"No, Buck, I am done. Just done with you." Eddie puts his hand on his hips and shakes his head. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back a friend who actually needs me."

"Friend?" Buck asks.

"Yes, friend. He is about to lose his kid and I am trying to take his mind off that and give him a good night."

"So this isn't a date?" Buck asks carefully.

"No, and I don't know where you got that from." This time Eddie does go back inside, leaving Buck out in the warm L.A. night.

"You told me they were dating!" Buck practically yells through the phone when calls Chimney.

"Did I?" Chimney asks coyly like he couldn't remember a thing. "Oh, right, they're just friends. I might have been thinking of someone else."

"I hate you," Buck grumbles.

"Love you too, Buck. Goodnight."

Buck just stands lamely there, after the phone goes dead and sighs. So good news, Eddie wasn't dating the new guy. Bad news, Eddie was pissed at him. He could work with that.

[thegeminisage]

tng update for "elementary dear data" spoilers it's fucking garbage:

this episode is going to make me enter my television to kill dr pulaski. as noted previously, her interrupting geordi and data in the bar just to dunk on data was FUCKING AWFUL enough already but the premise of this entire episode is that she thinks data is a machine and not alive and she's gonna laugh at him when/if he fails to meet her standards

and instead of picard SHUTTING ANY OF THIS DOWN...

look. i get it. beverly was kind of annoying and Womanly and so they wanted a tough love no-nonsense bones 2.0 whose gender didn't have a bearing on her character. and it doesn't! pulaski has not uttered a single word about female and only one time has a bad guy pointed out that she has boobs. however there are a few SHARP differences between this woman and leonard mccoy

firstly, when bones is racist to spock, he's doing it as part of the little game they play. evidence that it's a game is 1. spock always fires back and often draws blood himself and 2. when spock was faced with real bigotry kirk shut it down immediately. since he doesn't tell bones to cram it, one can assume he has either correctly intuited that they're both consenting to, uh, whatever they've got going on, or he had a talk with one or both of them and got the green light. on the other hand, this lady has given data shit on the bridge in front of EVERYONE and picard gave her only the most minor of corrections. data NEVER insults her back and doesn't even always defend himself.

secondly, bones's respect for spock has always been clear. before they became more at ease with one another it was a more professional respect for a fellow coworker and after it was respect for spock's abilities, but there was always respect. bones never doubts spock's ability to do his job unless spock is having an emotion, and even then, what he will tend to cast doubts on is spock's JUDGMENT IN THE MOMENT, not his overall ability based on who he is. bones would never, for example, suggest spock wasn't loyal (like that one ensign did before kirk tore him a new one, or like multiple people suggested in the menagerie) or that he was incapable ("best first officer in the fleet"). meanwhile, pulaski asked "does it even know how to do that" the first time she told data to use the magnifier.

finally, bones is Like That about everyone and everything. he does nothing but complain like his life depends on it. on the other hand, pulaski seems to be picking on data specifically, though to be fair i am only 3 episodes in

like, this is not fond antagonism. it's not even MUTUAL antagonism. she's just fucking being horrible to him as a cheap way to invoke the old/spock energy and it is simply not it

the tragic thing is that i liked BOTH of her characters in tos and i really like her as an actress, she's got a great delivery. and i would have loved a tough love no-nonsense doctor lady whose gender didn't matter re: her character, especially after beverly. i mean let a woman complain! but so far she's had no real complaints about anyone or anything except data!!!!! i want to like her SO BAD and i just can't because she's SO HORRIBLE.

anyway, the premise of this episode is stupid. absolutely let data engage in his special interests but the idea of a holodeck person canonically becoming sentient and then using the ships' computer to endanger the entire ship is ?????

once again, why do you have a holodeck on your ship. also, why are there CHILDREN with this kind of danger...

it also sucks that data IS making all these original cool deductions and That Bitch is not even here to see it. the absolute outrage i am experiencing...

ALSO LMAO. WHEN THEY CUT TO HER TALKING TO MORIARTY. the way she is like. sooo perfectly civil to and impressed by THIS computer simulation but my god get her in a room with data and she immediately starts shitting on him. I'LL KILL HER!!!

and then it's SO STUPID that data doesnt even get to "defeat" moriarty which was the whole point of DOING a godforsaken holodeck ep. picard has to go in to have HIS moment in DATA'S episode???

in fact the final scene is with...picard and geordi so he call tell geordi not to worry about the screwup? instead of data and pulaski talking? instead of data and ANYONE talking?? the whole point was "can data solve a mystery" AND THEN HE DID BUT NO ONE SAW IT. we never got to see pulaski go oops i was wrong! or no that doesn't count i'm still right! i will MURDER. whoever wrote this episode

anyway i fucking hated it. four more to go before we watch 2.08 together............

[snowmuttgetsweird]

12/6/24, witching hour

About to put my Snorlax to bed. I have Pokemon Sleep- if you wanna add me, feel free, I've got room for a few more: 6817 7349 5163

I've been sick the last couple days. I was sick just, like, last week too, but I got over it pretty quick and was just coughing, but then the cough got worse so either I never stopped being sick in the first place or being sick and returning to work too fast with a compromised immune system re-sicked me right away. Either way, I've felt like shit the last few days and didn't have a voice the last two, so I had to call out of work and get someone to cover my shifts. Hate that, would really have liked to have those hours. Starting to feel a bit better today, hoping after a good night's sleep I'll be right as rain and ready to work tomorrow.

Otherwise I've been drawing, reading, playing some mobile games, replaying Hollow Knight in small doses, and catching up on some movies and shows. Finally saw Logan, which was pretty good and made me cry (wish all the Marvel movies could have real emotional impact instead of back-to-back one-liners occasionally interrupted by CGI action sequences), then watched Deadpool and Wolverine, which was just okay by comparison (see above).

I was walking by the book store a few weeks back and noticed Absolution, Jeff Vandermeer's new book in the Southern Reach series, was out on hardback. I had completely forgotten about it. Ran in to (hopefully) grab the paperback real fast but it's not out yet apparently. Waited a few days but I started getting anxious without a book to read after having finished my previous book (The Archive Undying, little Pathfinder novel I think called Prince of Wolves, and What Dreams May Come), and ended up scooping Gideon the Ninth on a coworker's recommendation.

REALLY fantastic read. I absolutely fell in love with Gideon the Ninth, I've already read and finished Harrow the Ninth since, and I'm now waiting for a copy of Nona the Ninth to ship in from another location at my local discount book shop. Hadn't been so prepared and excited to move on to a sequel since I played Bravely Default for the first time- during which time I purchased Bravely Second BEFORE EVEN FINISHING THE FIRST GAME and immediately jumped into it the second I was finished with the first. Sadly, I hear Bravely Default 2 is a train wreck. Shame.

Harrow I didn't love as much as I loved Gideon. It may have been a purposeful and thematic thing, but it felt like a lot of the characters had very little agency and the story just kinda happened at them. Having just recently come off of The Archive Undying though, I really appreciate the use of second person perspective, and I greatly appreciate the extra look into Harrowhark's life and mental state. Ianthe is an absolute delight the moment she walks in the room too, every time. The way they play off each other is incredibly fun in their antagonism. That said, the second book overall, while still great, feels like a big ol exposition dump and feels like it answers a lot more questions than it asks, unlike Gideon, which doesn't really make me as excited for the next book because there's less for me to chew on and extrapolate. We'll see where Nona the Ninth goes.

Besides that I guess my offhand distraction has been Pokemon Pocket TCG. As you know, I love trading card games. Pocket is an excellent little time sink to scratch the TCG itch when I can't get anyone to sit down and play Digimon with me. I can open packs, I can build decks, I can play whenever and wherever I want. The events give you plenty of time to complete and acquire everything, and you don't have to spend a single cent to do so (outside of a handful of cosmetics). If I have any complaints it's that I hate coin flips, which is a problem in Pokemon in general. They're a little too feast or famine for my tastes, especially cards like Misty and Aerodactyl that can turn the tides so severely that they frequently make the game unwinnable. The only saving grace for coin flips in Pocket is that the games are so quick and streamlined that you don't really get the sunk cost effect as a full TCG- that disappointing feeling of having worked so hard and built your board so perfectly, and then losing it all to sheer luck. Anyway, overall great experience. Very fun, pretty casual, not all that sweaty, and looking forward to future sets to release- I'm already stockpiling hourglasses to rip a bunch of packs right off the bat as soon as a new set comes out. :)

Uhh I think that's it. I can't begin to describe how excited I am to get Nona the Ninth- I bought Gideon, I borrowed Harrow (I'll scoop a paperback of this later), and I'm getting Nona from a local discount bookshop- and I'm vibrating waiting for Absolution, which I forgot was even a thing. The whole rest of my set is paperback so I feel like Absolution has to be too, and so I wait. :')

Gonna try to sleep now I think. Snorlax beckons and I'm hunting Sneasel. :)

[lavendertowerarchives]

I seem to only be interacting with things under the guise of addictions. I mus clarify, I don't believe I am addicted to anything, but the only pleasures I gain are from engaging with the source in a depraved, desperate, and destructive manner.

I indulge in my interest to an unfortunate excess. I can't have just a little of something. It's not really a decision I make, whether to "have a lot" of a thing or only have a little. I decide to have some, and the decision to stop never crosses my mind, no matter the external reasons. Everything else becomes neglected. Day after day.

The variety of my various sources of happiness is wide enough and discrete enough that I feel comfortable saying I am not addicted to anything. If I crave something like I can't live without it, then it's the only thing I crave. Several hours later, that thing will be dead to me, whether I get it or not.

I love my partner. I spend day after day with them, only after not seeing them for even longer. There is not a single second where we are more than 10 meters apart.

I love video games. I will play them for hours on end, postponing literally everything. I don't eat, piss, respond, sleep, etc. I will accidentally or purposefully ignore dire needs of my body to the point of debilitating pain, simply because I don't see it as "important" or sometimes just not noticing how bad it is.

The same happens with writing, be it code or prose or poetry. I have a puzzle to solve, and I have the fuel for my brain to keep it occupied into the late hours of the next morning. I normally have a semi-rigid discipline for when I go to sleep. Not when I write. I know my inspiration will not return for entire agonizing days at a time if I'm interrupted for even thirty seconds.

If I talk to my friends at all (not likely), it's for hours. I will be laughing my ass off or be the most in-depth problem solver for miles around. My devotion will not wane. After the fact, I can see how problematic it might seem, to have someone so into the conversation, but it's rather difficult to contain my enthusiasm for a single person's giant donation of attention.

I've found that I have become confused about how pleasure works. This happens every so often, but I have never found a way out of it. Why do I chase these things, what is this intangible value I call "happiness?" Why does stupid shit happen when it runs out, and why does that stupid shit make so much sense to me only half the time? I must risk sounding purposefully edgy and dark, but I assure you, this is not just to grab attention or justify being bleak for the sake of being bleak:

It sounds futile. This stuff keeps going away. It leaves me at unsustainable rates. I'm spending this currency faster than I can earn it. I'm eating this food faster than I can cook it. My day isn't over yet I need it to end now. Whatever metaphor you want to use. I dunno.

Me, finding this conclusion, looks like convergent evolution. No one convinced me of this or told me this or led me to believe this. I came to it on my own. It happens to match what many other people think, but I keep other people's conclusions out of my own theories since whatever circumstances drew them to their own lines of thought are not my own.

I'm sad that I sound so stock, so... Boring. On retrospection, being boring and saying what's already been said isn't bad. I just make it seem bad since I despise using other people's work. This time, we all did different work to get the same product. I'm just doing accidental peer review. Life is fucking useless but I'll keep using it until it breaks. It seems pretty damned best up and bent right now.

Life's pretty fuckin shit right now. Even with no responsibilities, I have no energy. It turns out that the stressors weren't exactly the problem, I was just like this from the start.

[ratralsis]

Parting Words

Today I want to write a little bit about the parting words of yet another video game character I like.

Parting words, of course, are pretty important. It's the note you go out on, so you want to make sure it's a good one! Everybody will remember if the last thing you say is something stupid. You have to say something cool and memorable.

The Final Fantasy series has a lot of recurring characters. Mog the moogle, for example. But it's generally understood that it's a different Mog every time you meet him, in the same way that it's a different Cid. Similarly, it's generally understood to be a different Shiva, though she's always a big ice woman. Odin and Ramuh might even talk to you in FF4 or FF9, but I think most people understand that the Odin and Ramuh you meet in FF6 are different characters entirely who happen to share the same names and similar character designs.

There may be multiple exceptions to this rule, but there's only one whom I, personally, care about: Gilgamesh, from Final Fantasy 5.

Gilgamesh is a boss character you fight multiple times in Final Fantasy 5, but you don't meet him until you're quite a ways into the game. Still, he's instantly memorable. He's a big, goofy brawler of a man who rushes into battle because he's employed by the game's big bad and he's going to stop you from doing whatever it is you're doing. Your first battle against him takes place on a big bridge. The song that plays when you fight against him is called ビッグブリッヂの死闘, or "Biggu Burijji no Shitou," and if you didn't catch that, "Biggu Burijji" is just the English phrase "Big Bridge." "Shitou" means "life or death struggle," so the song is generally called "Battle at the Big Bridge," or "Clash on the Big Bridge," or something like that.

That's Gilgamesh's song. It's been remixed and rewritten and performed a hundred different ways, all of them phenomenal. When you hear that song, you know Gilgamesh is coming. You're going to have to fight him.

Gilgamesh is defeated multiple times in FFV, and eventually the big bad decides that it's time to throw Gilgamesh into the void between dimensions. But that's okay. Gilgamesh won't let something like that stop him. He comes back for one final scene shortly before the end of the game.

But in the meantime, Gilgamesh explores various worlds. Gilgamesh shows up in other Final Fantasy games. It's not really necessary for me to list all of his appearances, and I'm honestly not sure that every single appearance of his is "canonical," that is, if they're all meant to be this same guy. His appearance in one of the rereleases of FF6 as an Esper, for example, doesn't really square with what we know about him in FF5. Dude isn't an Esper. He's just a dude. Magicites are made of dead Espers. Gilgamesh isn't dead.

But I think it's safe to say that, when he made his first appearance outside of FFV in FF8, that's meant to be the same man. I like to think it's the same man in FF12 (voiced by John "Jake the Dog" DiMaggio, no less), as well, but, again, I can't really prove that. I can't prove anything.

And I don't have to. It's not really the point.

The point is that, eventually, no matter how many games he may or may not have shown up in before making his way back to FFV (and the list can only grow from here), he does make his way back.

He interrupts a battle against a boss called the Necrophobe, or Necrophobia, if you prefer. I kind of do, since that's what it's called in Japanese, but it's possible that the one who named him didn't really know what that word meant. I've heard that the summon spell Odin got its name almost entirely at random, for example, and it wouldn't shock me if the same were true of a lot of other things in Final Fantasy. Gilgamesh himself, for example.

Gilgamesh doesn't have to interrupt the fight. You can avoid this scene if you play the game the right way, but I would call that playing the game the wrong way. You should see Gilgamesh's final appearance.

He makes it clear that this is his big return, and that he couldn't let himself go down in history in such an uncool way as simply having been banished. The Necrophobe says he'll deal with Gilgamesh, and Gilgamesh taunts him, saying something like "Do you really think you can defeat me, Gilgamesh?"

But then he speaks to each member of the party. He tells Krile that her grandpa was strong. He tells Faris that he thinks she should try falling in love and be more feminine (which is a really weird thing to say, I think). He tells Lena that he hopes she never forgets her kindness to animals and her gentle heart. And he tells Bartz that he wishes he'd been able to have a one-on-one fight against him, and that Bartz has some good friends.

The Necrophobe ends this farewell speech by shouting at Gilgamesh to die. Gilgamesh replies with his final words:

それは！こっちのセリフだぜ！！

And then he casts the Blue Magic spell, Self-Destruct, killing both himself and the Necrophobe. And that's that. That's the end of Gilgamesh.

Now, I'm willing to give my own half-assed translation of most of Gilgamesh's dialogue, but not his final words. So here's the detailed translation, instead:

それ: That. Pronounced "so-re." Companion of "This" and "That over there." Refers to something a little far away from the speaker, for example, something that another speaker has just said.

は: Years ago, a Japanese tutor of mine referred to words like this as "postpositions," but they're usually just called "partciles." This one, pronounced "wa" even though it uses the letter for "ha," marks the word that came before it as the subject of a sentence. So now we know that the previous "That" is the subject of Gilgamesh's final sentence.

！: An exclamation mark. Despite it generally being used to end a sentence, here, Gilgamesh is just using it like a very loud comma. He's pausing mid-sentence. He's shouting.

こっち: Pronounced "ko-chee," with a glottal stop where that hypen is, so it's romanized as "kocchi." Means "this direction," and is companion of "that direction" and "that direction over there." Generally, "this direction" means "towards the speaker," so if you were to tell someone "Come this way," you would be telling them to move towards you, the person saying it. In this case, it refers more abstractly to Gilgamesh's side of the conversation, rather than to his physical location.

の: Another particle, this one, "no," is a marker of possession. That is, "this way," or "my side of the conversation," owns the thing that is going to come next in the sentence. See also "Biggu Burijji no Shitou" and how I seem to be implying that it means "Big Bridge's Life or Death Struggle." Let's not dwell on that, because the finer points of why it doesn't really don't matter here.

セリフ: "Serifu," which is a Japanese way of writing the word "serif," which means "line." While in English, this refers to little markings on written letters, in the Japanese language, it also refers to lines in a script, or lines of dialogue. "こっちのセリフ," then, means "my line."

だぜ: Pronounced "da ze," this is a verb followed by a particle. The "da" part is a short form of the verb "to be," conjugated to refer to "my line." The "ze" part is just something to add emphasis. We use phrases like "the heck" in English to do the same thing.

！！: Not just one, but two exclamation marks end this sentence.

If you put it all together, what Gilgamesh is saying before he blows up, his response to the Necrophobe shouting "DIE!", is:

"THAT! IS MY LINE!!"

And then he blows up.

This is actually something of a set phrase in Japanese. You can find it easily in many places if you Google it. I know, because I did! And you can, too! It's easy! Easy and cool, and you should do it!

So Gilgamesh isn't saying anything unique here. Or special. It's something that lots of folks have said. But it doesn't change the fact that he said it. And then he stuck around in the zeitgeist of Final Fantasy for decades. People love this goofy bastard, and I'm one of them.

When I hear the song "Battle at the Big Bridge," I'm known to sometimes tear up thinking about just how cool Gilgamesh is. That's not even a joke! I love this silly sometimes-multi-armed guy! I didn't even get into that part of it! Sometimes he has extra arms just so he can hold more weapons! AND I love his song!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: the best thing you can ever do, as a writer, is to write as hard as you can. Write something sincere, and earnest, and don't apologize or hold back. You've got a joke character? A recurring minion of the big bad who has no plot significance beyond being a guy you fight several times? Write that bastard for all you've got. Give him everything. Don't back down. Don't make it multiple characters for all those boss fights, even though you could have. Don't worry about overdoing it. Overdo it.

People will remember.