#i have been on this topic all morning
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here's some tidbits from the Laughingstock Misunderstanding fic outline, just 'cause i got mild amusement outta them and thought y'all might too <3
#THESE AREN'T BLURRY I SWEAR TUMBLR JUST KILLS THE QUALITY TILL YA CLICK ON EM#hopefully it provides some Entertainment during this dry spell. this Drought#im slowly chipping away at the outline whenever the Feels hit me#it... amuses me#i am both the king and the jester in my court#but no fr the funniest part of this lil plot To Me#is how frank/julie/poppy have no clue about the drama thats been going on in their tiny neighborhood#like... literally everyone else is so Involved#poppy: oh howdy seemed so mellow this morning i wonder whats wrong#frank: yes... come to think of it i havent been bothered by barnaby in a while#julie: well that just doesnt sound like either of them!#and then they all hum and sip tea and change the conversation topic#absolutely unprompted#outlining my beloved....#its writing without having to write. diet writing#and room to throw in memes to my hearts content#so that i can have a Chuckle while i go through the arduous torture of actually writing <3#mannnnnn i wanna write this fic so bad#i will get there i will get there Eventually#for now it will live in my brain in my tags in my outline
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ohhhh my god im going to fucking throw up thinking again about the scene where sawashiro almost lopping off ichi's pinky parallels the scene from earlier where arakawa's mom threatens him with scissors
#snap chats#IM GOING TO BE FUCKING SICK !!!!!!!!!#i havent mentioned it before. or if i did its been A Hot Minute but god i think of it a lot#sorry i was just having my morning Arakawa Family In Retrospect thinking and im going to throw up#AND IT WAS OVER MONEY TOO. and the topic of insufficient income was brought up.. fuuuuccckk YOOOOU#triggering myself rewatching the scenes just to validate my points and im going to be even MORE sick#its the way both ichi/arakawa glare at sawashiro/his mother and then getting reprimanded for it. via sharp implement#and the way arakawa interrupts sawashiro and ichi like how his dad had to step in between him and his mom Shut UP#jesus. arakawa wasnt even confrontational bout it like that either bro just walked in on it#his life is a flat circle And What If. I Threw Up.#i thought of translatin this concept via a comic buuuuuttttt </3 no time </3#or energy tbh#im tempted to at the very least make comparative gif sets for these scenes... its so important i point them out....#anyways wow !!!! i love the arakawa family !!!!!!! youre all fucked !!!!!! <- crying#i love the arakawa family because it's so easy to see each member as a protagonist of their own stories#which No Duh Everyones A Protagonist In A Way but it's just espsecially easy to dig into the arakawas' perspectives and feelings#theyre ALL so interesting in how they think and react and the possibility of how theyre thinking and feeling in situations#like im so invested to want to know their perspectives because there's always extra layers to them and its fascinating..#the arakawas are just so intertwined .....
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#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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Gaymers, I've been in the Ghost fandom for less than a year. Maybe half a year. I don't even have designs made and finalized for everyone active in the current Era. Even Dewdrop's design I'm still finagling.
I do not have all the answers or 100% plotted and completed idea for everything in the Ghost universe. I shouldn't have to, because this is just a hobby, none of it is canon, and it's an outlet for me to continue to better myself as an artist.
If you don't like something, that's fine! Art isn't made to please every single person ever. This is practice for me, and I'm sharing it because I want to.
#the ghost breakdancing beside you#some of y'all kind of worry me and stress me with this pressure to be an all knowing entity of ghost#I'm just trying to have fun#ngl even with Dewdrop and his story it's been an outlet related to how my own appearance has been forcibly change#due to chronic illness and things I cannot fix or revert. How I've mourned things that made me feel beautiful that illness changed#but I can accept and try to make my current day better#y'know???#anyways that's a bit too heavy of a topic for 10 in the morning#and I've only been awake for an hour and a half
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hi tumblr im pyrr pyrriax and im in my trimonthly artist arc, lord help me and all the projects that are currently sitting in my drafts while i am lured in by the siren song of drawing
#haunted ecosystem#this is not helping with how much my hands hurt on a daily basis this is why i type and dont handwrite/draw very much.#im lured in regardless and i really need to find an artform that doesnt Hurt but for now. digital art <3#like theres a difference between my dumb doodles (quick easy not much different from regular computer usage) and actual art#but im an artist at heart i spent sooooo long being an artist and thinking i was shit at writing. that is wrong! im actually kinda good#im rambling in tags today because i have been not social (my partner is in genshin hell and my beloved is. somewhere.)#okay but on another note i reread the first. couple chapters of wtds this morning? the pacing is a little weird and the tense is fucked#but its actually a lot better than i thought it was? you can tell i was fleshing everybody out in my head and i totally forgot about how#i described the watcher [who i am STILL redacting the name of until we get there] and just. ough. pandora being very logical#and then jumping to the latest chapter and fucking sobbing because i forgot about how it went and just. pandora and his.#whatever the fuck is wrong with him.#i have gotta start recommending people read that again. its surprisingly friendly without context because of how i approached it#that fic has taught me so many things its actually a little comical. it also made me relearn how to make and write ocs so thats fun#once i finish that main fic (and i WILL i am actually planning to sign up for a thing. im finishing it i swear.) i finally get to show off#more of the world and characters ive crafted. showing backstories and what-ifs and all these oneshots ive been keeping close to my chest#for like absolutely ages because i dont want any spoilers on my tumblr#and. im finishing that fic in pseudo-memoriam of somebody who deleted their accounts everywhere. still miss you dane!#ok this has completely gone off topic ily tumblr im going back to drawing and i might make a new pfp#it'll still be lavius but it'll be fray lavius since i think about him a lot and i like his color palette.
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formal literary analysis is just fanfic for nerds
#i'm trying to write an analysis on the way the wizard of oz has been historically interpreted rn and it is going so bad#apparently i'm the only person who has ever put together just like. an actual paper (not a magazine article) comparing and contrasting#the various allegorical readings of oz?? and unfortunately i cannot analyze my own old writing#i need to pick a new topic but the paper is due tomorrow morning im so tired this is awful. im crying thinking about it#i have spent the past two days combing through oz analysis. i have not found a single source that doesn't directly just do its own analysis#i need analysis of the analysis does that make sense. and it has to be from the past five years. i am falling i am failing#i am drowning help me to breathe etc. this is torture and i cannot find a singular fucking source#JUST TELL ME ABOUT MORE THAN ONE INTERPRETATION!!! THAT IS ALL I FUCKING WANT FROM YOU JUST TELL ME THERES MULTIPLE WAYS#TO INTERPRET THIS 100 YEAR OLD BOOK. I KNOW YOU KNOW YOU MENTIONED IT IN UR INTRO#screaming crying throwing up. i gotta pick a new topic. im so tired. ignore this#anyways this post was an excuse for me to vent in tags sorry#free to rb the post if you want tho idc. i have a point u gotta admit#lit#toasty talks#wizard of oz
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Gay trans men be normal about women challenge. Especially trans women and lesbians
#why are they so misogynistic. like why. lol. lmao even. it's infuriatingly hysterical#and not just misogyny in general#the TRANSMISOGYNY??????#lord. god. dear fucking jesus it's goddamn horrendous#also genuinely one of THE MOST lesbophobic groups of ppl i have ever had the displeasure of interacting with#the disdain for women hidden behind 'well i'm not a woman nor attracted to them uwu it's okay to talk about how awful and gross and terribl#they all are. also i will accuse all of them for being either transphobic or a misandrist or both if they confront me about this'#'because i am trans and a minority group so therefore i can never be wrong uwu'#insane behavior#the way so many of them view afab nonbinary ppl as Women Lite because if you're not a binary trans man who wants to pass as cis perfectly#you are irrelevant and can have no opinions on trans topics or experience transphobia or identify it#crazyyyyyyyyyyyy#don't even get me started on the 'transandrophobia truthers' just admit you can't handle trans women being the main topic of conversation f#for once. not even in discussions over their fucking oppression#and don't even get me started on the internalized shit. like not just the misogyny but honestly this weird brand of transphobia#and homophobia too. it's fucking wild#once again. lol. lmao even.#sorry i saw some stupid shit this morning (and it's been building for a while) and I want to bitch. i'm tired. i'm so fucking tired#it's such a trend i have seen in this group of ppl#OBVIOUSLY i know they are not all like this but GODDAMN a lot of them are#and any time someone tries to point out any issues with the community they're just accused of being a bigot. whatever x-phobia is convenien#to cry at the time#okay i'll shut up now#kaz rambles
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#lord grant me patience with some of the takes i've seen#like right off the bat#yemen has not been doing anything for the palestinian people#the houthi rebels have been launching missiles into shipping lanes not yemen#not to be a huge bitch but if you were so unaware of the civil war in yemen that has been going on for genuinely a decade#that you entirely conflate the two groups#and are out here talking about how yemen has been bravely taking on the western world in defense of palestine#i simply do not take you seriously on this topic!!#TWO you do not under any circumstances have to hand it to the houthis!!#listen no side of the yemeni civil war is the 'good guys'#and that includes the houthis!! who have been blockading taizz from water supplies and committing a litany of human rights violations#i NEED you all to develop the ability to hold more moral nuance than 'good guys and bad guys' or 'enemy of my enemy is my friend'#anyway i saw a post this morning saying that we stan yemen now and i have been internally screaming ever since
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girl help not the consequences of my actions
#i have a meeting with a prof tomorrow morning about an essay im supposed to show progress on#which i have not started. nor have i figured out an exact topic for#im supposed to have an outline and all my sources and at least 2 pages 😭 rip me#i think im just going to tell him Listen homie. i am super behind on this essay. please help me figure out what i want to talk about#in all fairness i could have made much progress by now. but ive been procrastinating ❤️#anyway im giving up and going to bed. good night#text
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I have ONE MORE ASSIGNMENT. It’s due at 3pm tomorrow. Then I have two finals and then I can finally REST (until my summer class, but we’re not thinking about her right now)
#m rambles#I need to write a 4K word script with 4 primary and 4-8 secondary sources#then record a presentation on the topic#and I have… 15 hours to do it#no sleep tonight bois#is it smart to take my meds rn? I havent taken them in three days but I’m also supposed to take them in the morning#but also I need them to actually focus#I’m so out of it bro#ugh#I just wanna do the fun graduation stuff#not the ‘you actually need to graduate’ stuff :/#forgot to rsvp to my department undergrad banquet because I’ve been so stressed#and I missed game night today with the server#only to have done fuck all
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Okay I have spent all afternoon writing and I am essentially no closer really to being done with Parent Trap AU because it just got longer without being closer to a resolution but now I also have 2k of an im-in-my-blorbo-feelings-again Jamie Tartt + Touch fic so we’ll see where that goes !
#touch fic was inspired by everyone’s thoughts re: zava using touch as a power dynamic on Jamie specifically#and Jamie + Roy this season + Roy’s aggression#and Jamie in locker rooms and unexpected touch from the other lads#and just like. what is good for him and what is BAD for him.#and WHO is good for him and who is bad for him.#and also just some inner grappling of like. why he likes sex that’s a little bit mean. and why that can feel safe for him#while more neutral touch can sometimes feel Very Unsafe#but also about a general struggle to feel like a flesh and blood person in your own body. versus feeling too much like just a body. versus-#idk if I’m making sense 😭 but as you can see I have a lot of Feelings and I’ve been thinking about morning I had to get something typed LOL#I just think there are times Jamie HAS been bothered by people touching him this season#and times when he has not at all been bothered but people have made it about it that (like that Isaac scene)#also it’s kind of triggery and since this has been such a discourse ridden topic this season who knows if I’ll decide to post it BUT!#we’re seeing where it goes!!#writing#Jamie Tartt
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#other ppl: youll be fine! u r passionate abt what u do#no u dont understand. its not passion. im being consumed. im being devoured whole and alive.#its out of control and its killing me#stop trying to tell me im good. i can assure u its a problem and i want it to fucking stop. whats the point of being successful if u cant#even fucking breathe?#this has been my weekend in purgatory for some reason. but fuck u i got the fucking application 98% done so im gonna read it over tomorrow#when my brain doesnt feel like its gonna explode and thrn send it to the dude and idk see wtf he has to say about it bc im positive i#overwrote it bc im unhinged. whatever tomorrow im gonna spend another 4hr transfering algae#if i can. turns out ive given myself a headache and now i cannot sleep lmao#lol i wrote all that yesterday night. it appears i was having a bad time. and i continue to have a bad time bc my manuscript is 98% ready#for submission but i leave at 7.20 tomorrow morning for my flight and wont be home until 7pm in this time zone at the very least#which means ill have to fucking wait all day to submit i guess unless i use plane wifi or something. fucking idk#i also havent sent the application in yet and i havent bought any Christmas presents bc my brain is splitting into a million pieces#its 10 pm now. will is sleep tonight? who's to say i still have work to do on this fucking manuscript#at least my coauthor thinks itll only get sent back with minor revisions so it must look pretty ok#part of it is just me bitching abt inconsistent methods across papers bc it annoys me but also i dont give a fuck#i will fucking psychically control ppl to read this paper and use its knowledge bc the way they talk abt the topic annoys me so much#which is additionally annoying bc like i said i dont give a fuck#anyway im procrastinating#unrelated#my parents texting me today: yay we r excited to see u 🤗#and im just laying on the floor eminating a demonic aura
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#wdl#this is the last yelling into the void#i have insomnia - most of the time i don’t need to take sleeping pills but when the exhuastion starts to impact me i need to#i don’t like to take pills bc i won’t wake up in the morning and i also will wake up in the middle of the night and have no memory#an issue has been me ordering things online and having no memory of it#specifically ordering vinyl#so i made the comment of maybe i should write in my phone what vinyl im ordering to strengthen the memory#that way maybe it’ll be less likely i order the same pressing while asleep#and someone made the comment ‘discogs exists’#and it just made me very annoyed and i can’t even properly say why#like it seemed so fucking dismissive#why? i can’t tell you#do i think discogs is a solution?#no the online catalog honestly sucks and if i were to try to go on discogs asleep / in that mindset i will 100% buy more#it just seemed like it didn’t take into consideration the actual problem at all#but this could be very well bc i’m sensitive about the topic
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i've been putting off a very big and important task for weeks and i got it half done within an hour this morning and not only was it easy, i liked doing it. it was fun. 🤦♀️
#it's the results and discussion part of my dissertation in case anyone is wondering#it needs to be 3000 words and i got to 1500 incredibly easily this morning. because. you know. i already did the study.#like i already did all the research and collected the data and wrote the literature review and methodology.#all i have to do is fucking write down what happened in the study. I also already did all the data coding and charts!#and i picked a topic that i like doing and think is interesting#so why does it always have to be like pulling teeth with me? I just did not fucking want to do it for no reason#adhd#adhd problems#i've been anxious about not getting it done in time when i could (and will) have it done in a single day 🙄
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highkey *both* steve & bucky are gay, with plenty of Thoughts and Reasons: steve kisses women in every movie (tho bucky's sposed to be the ladie's man (to hide his gayness a la arnie)) but notice how every single one of steve's kisses/non-platonic interactions w women are not initiated by steve and/or he shows little/negative interest/reciprocation as if he feels obligated. yh u can blame the actor's non-chemistry and say that the writing's intent is diff but... steve is a gay man w comphet 🌈🧍
I get your reasoning, those are some good reasons to think he doesnt like women Like That, but I myself don't see it that way. Just because he hasnt been interested in the women he's been around doesn't mean he isn't interested in women in general. He could be bi with a preference for guys (named Bucky). Idk. I just work here.
But bi characters don't have to show, on-screen, their attraction to whatever variety amount you find to be "enough proof" before you'll stop insisting its a case of comphet. Not everything is comphet. Sometimes people, including characters, are just bi.
You are free to call him gay all you want, but that doesn't make it canon. It's not like Arnie Roth or the Bucky based on him, the one we all know and love - that has source material. It has backing from people involved. Steve?? Doesn't have that.
So to me Steve is bi and Bucky is gay, they respect that (as well as everything else) about each other, they're in love and married, and they have kids - as well as a minimum of one (1) cat and three (3) goats - and that's that on that in this house.
#this sort of thing is a topic ive had a lot of interaction with in the past and i'm simply not doing it again#comphet is a thing - im not at all saying its not - but christ alive my dude there are other#sexualities besides (to be ridiculous) straight-up gay#ive been on the 'steve is bi' train for ages and i quite like it here#i apologize if this came off rude but its 2:40 in the morning and i had to borrow the group braincell from my friends#in order to respond to this and im fucking tired#have fun with ur gay!steve tho anon. really.#ask
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I accidentally missed WIP Wednesday again :( I’m not going to post any snippets this week because tbh I’m running out of things to post 😅 I’ve been super busy at school and I just haven’t been writing much lately because my mind is always on other things, it seems like. But I will do this much, at least, a little peek into my writing process:
When I write fics, sometimes if I’m stuck and don’t want to write the exact scene that needs to happen next, but I have Thoughts for a different scene in that work that need to be written down, I’ll put intermediate actions/scenes in brackets to remind myself how to get from point a to point b. I have one that I just wrote that says “LZ doing LZ things and WWX being sappy about it.” And if that doesn’t sum up wangxian then I don’t know what does.
#WIP Wednesday#wangxian#nothing interesting this week sorry y’all :/#I’ve got my actual project that I’m working on plus we had a bake sale fundraiser this week for our upcoming exhibition#and I also have my critical thinking/design history class that I’m behind in so I’m thinking about what to do for that#and my lecture on graffiti requires an essay component and I need to decide which topic I’ll be writing to get started on that#and I have a radio show on Friday mornings to do#and I’m still anxiously waiting for my student loans to come through and to hear back from an art gallery in town about a weekend job#and I have housemates to keep up with and food to make#and also purely for fun I’ve been thoroughly sucked into Love Between Fairy and Devil so I spend all my free time in the evening watching it#soooooooo I’m a tiny bit overbooked I think 😂
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