#i apologize if this came off rude but its 2:40 in the morning and i had to borrow the group braincell from my friends

[mieczyhale]

highkey *both* steve & bucky are gay, with plenty of Thoughts and Reasons: steve kisses women in every movie (tho bucky's sposed to be the ladie's man (to hide his gayness a la arnie)) but notice how every single one of steve's kisses/non-platonic interactions w women are not initiated by steve and/or he shows little/negative interest/reciprocation as if he feels obligated. yh u can blame the actor's non-chemistry and say that the writing's intent is diff but... steve is a gay man w comphet 🌈🧍

I get your reasoning, those are some good reasons to think he doesnt like women Like That, but I myself don't see it that way. Just because he hasnt been interested in the women he's been around doesn't mean he isn't interested in women in general. He could be bi with a preference for guys (named Bucky). Idk. I just work here.

But bi characters don't have to show, on-screen, their attraction to whatever variety amount you find to be "enough proof" before you'll stop insisting its a case of comphet. Not everything is comphet. Sometimes people, including characters, are just bi.

You are free to call him gay all you want, but that doesn't make it canon. It's not like Arnie Roth or the Bucky based on him, the one we all know and love - that has source material. It has backing from people involved. Steve?? Doesn't have that.

So to me Steve is bi and Bucky is gay, they respect that (as well as everything else) about each other, they're in love and married, and they have kids - as well as a minimum of one (1) cat and three (3) goats - and that's that on that in this house.

[svtxsoju]

02. morning glory fizz | dear miss soju

ღ Synopsis: College is hard. Love is even harder. Good thing the students of Mansae University can write in to Miss Soju, the campus’ very own romance advice columnist! The only problem is she’s never been in a relationship. Ever. There’s no telling what kind of chaos she may cause in the love lives of several of MU’s most eligible bachelors. Too bad no one knows who she really is! ღ Characters/Pairings: college AU! Seventeen & OC’s, Joshua x baking major!OC, and more TBA!  ღ Genre: Romantic Comedy, Slice of Life ღ Warning(s): Mentions of alcohol, suggestions of sex, language  ღ Word Count: 4.9k words  ღ Binu’s Note: a week late but better late than never i guess 😌 i’ve been avoiding tumblr to finish writing this, but i just kept getting distracted by choi seungcheol. hit that mf like button if you relate. i’m so excited for the special album y’all the teasers and concepts are so sadkfklsj i love seventeen

anyway, i apologize not only for the late update, BUT ALSO bc this chapter is also a lot of exposition again 😔🥺 i promise i’m done setting it all up and that some real shit will go down in the next chapter!! hopefully people will still be able to enjoy this chapter huhuhu 😭💗 if you’re reading this, i love u and i hope u have a good weekend!! 

《 ⊛ Author’s Note & Credits ⊛ Disclaimer ⊛ Masterlist ⊛ 》

《 Previous ⊛ Next 》

Having already completed the first half of her college career, Joohyun was well aware of the value of sleep. And yet, like most college students, she could never  seem to manage a decent sleeping schedule. She had only slept 2 hours when her alarm went off at 5:30AM. She groggily rolled out of bed, mentally cursing her past self for thinking that this was a good idea when clearly, the best idea at the moment was to snuggle back up under her covers and sleep in until afternoon. Only one of her eyes seemed capable of staying open as she pulled on her clothes and got ready for the day. When she suddenly heard the front door close behind her roommate, she cursed out loud, throwing her laptop into her bag before she rushed out the door. She half-wobbled, half-hopped along the second-story walkway while she tried to get her shoes all the way on.

“Bok Bongseon! Wait for me!” Joohyun called out in an aggressive whisper.

“HOLY SHIT! You scared me, Joo!” her roommate, a shorter girl with full cheeks and pouty lips, screamed at full volume. She clutched at her racing heart and leaned against the wall while she caught her breath. 

“Shut up, people are still sleeping!” Joohyun linked arms with Bongseon and dragged her down the steps leading to the street. It was still dark outside, but she could already hear the faint bustling of the mart located below their apartment. It was nice to know that they weren’t the only two people in Seoul insane enough to be awake at this hour. 

“I thought you were the ghost of my grandma, you bitch! You know she visits me in my dreams to tell me how disappointed she that I’m a baker,” Bongseon said indignantly, though she still cuddled closer to Joohyun when they were hit by the morning chill. Once they reached the street, they both headed towards the train station without having to say a word.  “What are you even doing up?” 

“I am simply accompanying my favorite roommate to work to make sure that she gets there safely,” Joohyun crooned sweetly, and made kissy faces at the girl, who in turn pinched Joohyun’s lips between her calloused fingers. She tried to protest but could only let out pained whines until she was mercifully released. “Ow!” 

“Sorry but I cannot fulfill your roommates to lovers, 12k slowburn fantasy,” Bongseon continued on nonchalantly as they climbed down the steps to the platform. “You had your chance, but I am a taken girl!”

“Oh, so you and Josh are together today?” Joohyun teased. Although it probably wasn’t the best idea, considering her lips were slightly throbbing from the girl’s attack. “I’ll just wait until tomorrow then.” 

“Wow, bold words coming from Miss Fish Lips.” Bongseon raised an eyebrow and smiled tauntingly. “Understandable, considering  that that was probably the most action your lips have gotten in your entire life. I could probably set it up on a blind date with my fist, if you’d like.” 

Joohyun’s laughter echoed off the walls of the mostly empty station, startling the only other person waiting for the morning train (an old woman, who was still half-asleep prior to being rudely awakened by two very loud girls). Bongseon often made some colorful threats, morning or not, but Joohyun was one of the very few people who could be assured that her words were empty. “Don’t you know that it’s rude to stare, lady?” she barked at the old woman, who was openly glaring at them. Everyone else, on the other hand, was subject to Bongseon’s sharp temper.

This even included her boyfriend of approximately 4 years. ‘Approximately’ being the key word, because the two often took breaks--  a natural phenomenon when one partner was easily provoked and the other loved to do the provoking. Jihoon had told Joohyun that the two had met at the cafe in their freshman year, when Bongseon came in as a part-time baker and Joshua was merely a barista trainee. They started dating within a month and moved into an apartment together in two. That went just as well as anyone would expect. By the grace of whatever entity that was chaotic enough to keep their relationship intact, they made it 7 months before nearly breaking things off for good. As luck would have it though, a new hire and his roommate were in the same exact predicament as them. Kind of. 

Joohyun shuddered to recall her freshman year when she and Jihoon somehow convinced themselves that it was a good idea to share an apartment. In principle it made sense; they had lived across the street from each other since they were in diapers. Two exhausting months into trying to irritate the other into breaking the lease first, they met Bongseon and Joshua when Jihoon started working at Smile Flower. It didn’t take long for Joohyun to suggest the switch— she would move in with Bongseon and Joshua with Woozi. Just like that, she saved both Bongseon and Joshua’s turbulent romance (temporarily) and her and Woozi’s fractured friendship (now thriving). 

She and Bongseon have been roommates ever since, and Joohyun knew her life was a little easier for it. 

“Joohyun, you better stop looking at me with those heart eyes before I really act up,” Bongseon warned. They had boarded the train, but hadn’t bothered to sit down since Mansae University station was only two stops away. 

“But I just love you so much,” Joohyun pouted, affectionately resting her head on her friend’s shoulder. “What does Joshua have that I don’t?” 

“A dick. And that’s about it.” 

“Damn you, heterosexuality!” 

Bongseon snorted out a laugh. “Seriously Joo, how are you awake right now? You’re only ever this lovey-dovey when you’re severely sleep deprived. I know you don’t have classes until 3PM today. You also don’t have your internship today,” Bongseon narrowed her eyes when Joohyun visibly tensed up at the mention of her current occupation. “Also, since when do you watch Youtube videos until 2am? And don’t think I didn’t notice that all of them were titled ‘Relationship Q&A’s’ and ‘I confessed to my crush and he said this!!!’. Got something to tell me, missy?” 

It was so quiet on the train that Joohyun worried that Bongseon could hear all the wires in her brain short-circuit. With Bongseon’s cross-examination skills, it was a wonder why she pursued baking instead of joining her family’s firm. Come on, Joohyun, just tell a white lie. Easy, simple. Don’t need to overcomplicate things. “Oh, uh I— um— well, I j-just thought they were entertaining?” She was done for. 

“Right. You thought random couples self-indulgently talking about their love lifes for 40 minutes with default iMovies effects were entertaining.”  

“Y-yes?” Joohyun threw in her most convincing smile for good measure, but it did nothing to soften Bongseon’s hard gaze. “It’s my new guilty pleasure, haha!”  

“Hm, interesting,” Bongseon was momentarily interrupted by the sound of the arrival bell. Joohyun eagerly pulled her friend towards the exit, hoping that the distance from the train could also get her further away from the topic. Unfortunately for her, Bongseon did not plan on dropping it so soon. “You sure you don’t want to tell me anything, Joo? About your internship?” 

Joohyun began to sweat. Was she really that transparent? “Okay, don’t get mad--”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m super jazzed that you’re getting into relationships and everything, but really Joo? Youtube? You could just talk to me if you need help talking to your new crush at your job!” 

“Oh.” Joohyun would have let out a sigh of relief if she wasn’t out of breath from climbing the mountain of stairs up to the sidewalk. “Right. Confessing. To my crush. That I definitely have.”

“It’s okay to admit you have one, Joo. I’m no  stranger to workplace romance,” Bongseon said, her breathing completely even. A measly flight of stairs was nothing compared to eight hours of kneading dough. “Who’s the lucky bastard, Joo?” 

“Well, I’m not sure I would call it a workplace romance, per se…” Joohyun laughed nervously. There was no way she could stick another clean landing if she kept talking. 

“Shut up, I bet that guy is in love with you already. Who wouldn’t fall for the only editing intern at The Front?” 

“Haha, I don’t know…” Probably no one, because the only editing intern at The Front doesn’t exist? 

Joohyun could not be more relieved to see the small store front of Smile Flower Cafe. It was one amongst the many cafes located near campus, but Joohyun felt like nothing really matched its comforting home-like ambience. But that probably had less to do with the soft wooden floors and pastel ceramic mugs, and more owed to the three years Joohyun had spent hanging around there, usually bothering Jihoon and joking around with Josh. 

The two boys already stood waiting at the cafe’s entrance, too bleary-eyed to notice Joohyun and Bongseon quickly approaching. “Hey, ugly!” Joohyun called out, snickering when both of them turned to look at her. 

“What the hell, why are you awake?” 

“Good morning to you too, Jihoon,” she answered, blowing him a kiss. “I’m actually here to see you, believe it or not. Don’t you feel special?”

“Oh? That’s interesting, because you told me that you came here for me,” Bongseon broke away from exchanging actual kisses with Joshua to look between Joohyun and Jihoon in a way that Joohyun did not like too much.  “I guess it wasn’t a workplace romance after all.” 

Joshua mirrored his girlfriend’s implicating expression as he unlocked the front door, simply because he knew it made his friends squirm. “Wow Joohyun, you woke up this early just to talk to Jihoon? You really couldn’t wait to see him, huh?” 

“Uh, yes because I need his help—”

“Ah, his help, gotcha! Come on, Bongseon, I’ll go help you in the kitchen while these two help each other out here,” Joshua snickered. Before Joohyun or Jihoon could roast the couple in retaliation, they had already disappeared behind the counter. 

After years of similar taunts, all Jihoon could do was shake his head. “Okay Joo, what is so important that you need my help at 6 in the morning?”

“I wrote my first response last night!” Joohyun whispered excitedly, taking out her laptop from her bag. “Well, a few hours ago. I wanted to show you before continuing on with the rest! Here, look.” 

① Dear Miss Soju, 

I just started my first year at MU and she’s an exchange student from New York. We met at a party and talked for two hours about comics, aliens, anything we could think of. It was perfect. She even asked me to walk her home. When the time came for me to make a move though, I kind of dropped the ball. Since we had just met that night, I didn’t want to come off too strong. Now I really regret it - I don’t even have her phone number. I feel like such an idiot! I can’t stop thinking about her, but I don’t even know if I’ll ever talk to her again. Did I make myself seem disinterested? Will we meet again? Will she even remember me?

Sincerely,

Big Cringy Idiot

She let Jihoon read the asker’s message first, then scrolled down to show her answer.

Dear Big Cringy Idiot,

You and your crush seem to have a lot in common. There is nothing wrong with being nervous around someone you like. In fact, it is fairly normal and is a good sign that you like this girl very much. She also seems open to any future possiblities, since she did ask you to take her home. You need not worry about coming off too strong in this situation, although I do admire your dedication to respecting women’s boundaries. I hope you are able to find this girl again so that you can truly tell her how you feel. Best of luck to you!

Sincerely,

Miss Soju

“Joo, that was…” 

“Poetic, beautiful, life-changing?” Joohyun grinned, and nudged her best friend with each suggestion.

“Boring. It was boring.” Joohyun’s face fell, and Jihoon could only offer the girl an apologetic smile. “Dude, you’re gonna put people to sleep if you keep it up like this. I almost took out a pillow to take a nap on the floor.”

“But this is how I write my articles— Informative and concise! How else am I supposed to write it?”

“I mean, that’s great for reporting articles, but this is an advice column. It’s supposed to be fun, sarcastic maybe. Like your promo piece! That was good.” 

“I wrote that as a joke, hoping they would fire me for it,” Joohyun admitted, eyes wide in panic as she looked at her best friend. 

“Huh. Well, I think it would sound better than this Wikipedia article you got going on,” Jihoon shrugged. “Try to be fun!”

“I am fun!” Joohyun cried out defensively, her nostrils flaring with passion. When Jihoon responded with a doubtful look, she let out a dramatic gasp and snatched up her laptop, stomping over to her favorite corner in the cafe. “I can be fun! I’ll show you fun!” 

 “Atta girl,” Jihoon’s signature cackle filled the cafe, further fueling the girl’s aggressive typing. 

Just another morning in the life of So Joohyun.

To the surprise of the cafe’s current occupants, a student already tapped at the glass entrance, clearly in desperate need of his morning americano. He had walked all the way from the freshman dorms after a restless night of tossing and turning. When his phone screen told him it was already 6:05AM, he decided to just give up on sleep altogether. So there he was, trying to start off his day right, at Smile Flower Cafe, only to be stopped at the door by the grumpy barista with the red hair. He always felt like the other one was way nicer, especially since he would go out of his way to sneak him free cookie samples and made pleasant small talk while ringing him up (what was his name? Jonathan?). 

  All the red-haired barista ever did was scowl at him when he asked for a student discount. Now, he scowled at him as he gestured at the sign that indicated that the cafe would not be open until 7AM. The fatigued freshman had half a mind to make some choice gestures of his own, but he refrained and just whipped out his phone instead. He gave the mean barista one last pout before turning around and walking towards the 24-hour convenience store on campus.

➠ [ to: vernonie 😌😎  ] Good morning king. Are you still on your shift ?

➠ [ from: vernonie 😌😎  ] gm seungkwan pls k*ll me 

Seungkwan took that as a yes. It didn’t take long for him to arrive, the entrance bell ringing lightly when he stepped into the small store. At the register sat his roommate, who was clearly fighting to keep his eyes open. “Wol-cuh ‘n—” he tried to greet through a wide-mouthed yawn. “Excuse me, welcome in! Oh, hey Seungkwan.”

Seungkwan answered with a grunt and headed straight for the refrigerated coffee section, choosing the largest can.

“Uh dude, you good? You look like—”

“Like I haven’t slept all night? I am aware,” He immediately opened his coffee and took a long gulp of the beverage in hopes of feeling even a little better. When it did nothing after 30 seconds, he frowned at the concerned cashier. “Vernon, I will not be paying for this drink, because it is clearly defective. Coffee is supposed to fix everything.” 

“Is this about your audition today?” Vernon asked, eyebrows furrowed. “Your monologue sounded really solid last night though. Your audition songs were great too. You totally got this in the bag!” 

“It’s not just about the audition, sweet Vernon,” Seungkwan sighed. “It’s about who I’m going to see at the audition. I still don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do.”

“Oh yeah, you are probably going to see them later.” For the past week, all Seungkwan could talk about was the theater tech sophomore that he had met at the theater department’s welcome party. They had sat beside Seungkwan and had helped him through all the fast-paced drinking games, and even took some of his shots when he kept losing. Surely, this was what love felt like.

That was what Seungkwan hoped anyway, because whatever it was made him feel all warm and tingly inside (or it could have just been the alcohol). Nevertheless, he had made big plans to confess to his crush as soon as possible. His dilemma for the past several days was merely a matter of how it would be done. “Not probably! I know for a fact that they will be there, because they told me that they couldn’t wait to see me,” Seungkwan let out a wail and slumped over the counter. “They’re the sweetest, most beautiful person to ever walk the earth and I just want to tell them that I would actually jump off a bridge for them. Why is that so difficult?” 

Vernon nodded sympathetically as he always did. “I mean, if you’re not ready today, maybe you could wait?”

“Wait?! No offense babe, but last time I checked, waiting didn’t get you anywhere,” Seungkwan said,  patting his roommate’s arm. Vernon cringed as he was forced to remember his own romantic blunder from the past week. “Clearly, we are both in major need of help. That Woozi guy’s show didn’t do anything for us! Also, we still haven’t heard from that Miss Soju character and it’s been what? Two days? If she’s such an expert, she would know that love is time sensitive!” 

“Ugh, I know. I keep refreshing The Front’s website just to see if she’s posted it yet.” Vernon sighed forlornly, which was a common punctuation to his sentences lately. “It’s getting me really antsy. What if she doesn’t even choose to answer our emails this time?” 

Seungkwan quickly covered the other freshman’s mouth. “Don’t say that! The universe manifests what we say will happen. We should ask for divine intervention instead.” He cleared his throat in preparation and threw his hands up to the sky. “O Eros, god of love, please shine your blessings down upon my and Vernonie’s love lives for we are but two humble, clueless freshmen in need of romantic guidance. Send down two of your swiftest, sharpest arrows, so that those that we desire may hear your soft whispers—”

Ding. The sound of the entrance bell rang once more, stopping Seungkwan’s prayer short, much to his irritation. “Is this a bad time?” the new customer, an ethereally handsome blonde, asked amusedly. He strode into the store and grabbed two spicy tuna triangle kimbab’s before approaching the counter. 

“Jeonghan hyung!” 

“Ah, Vernon!” Jeonghan smiled. “I didn’t know you worked here. You should come by my and Cheol’s apartment again soon, that was fun!”

“Hyung, this is my roommate that I told you about-- Seungkwan. And Seungkwan, this is Seungcheol hyung’s roommate,” Vernon said all while ringing up Jeonghan’s food. On the side, Seungkwan bowed sheepishly after unfreezing from his previous pose. “How’s your morning going? You wake up pretty early!” 

Jeonghan laughed heartily, shaking his head. “Oh no, I just finished an all-night stream. I just came by to get a snack before heading to bed. Seems like you two have been having a fun morning, though. Do you two always start your day off by praying to the ancient Greek god of desire?” 

Seungkwan flushed a deep pink. “Uh no, it was more like a cry of desperation. Vernon and I are having a pretty tough time confessing to our crushes, so I figured we should just try out anything that might help us. Nothing else seems to be working…” 

“Wait, that’s so cute,” Jeonghan cooed. 

“Would you be able to give us some advice, hyung?” Vernon asked. He didn’t know anything about the senior’s love life, but he did give off the vibe of someone who would know… a lot. 

Jeonghan’s eyes twinkled dangerously, a lazy smirk on his lips. “I mean, I could go talk to your little crushes for you, if you’d like. I’m sure I could get some sort of response out of them.”

One look at Jeonghan had Vernon and Seungkwan shaking their heads vehemently.

“No, we’re good.”

“Yeah, no thanks.” 

“Mm, good call.” Jeonghan took his food from the counter, and winked at the two boys. “I really wish I could help you both more, but I’m sure you’ll get what you’re waiting for soon! Today, if you want it enough.” 

There was something in the way that the senior stated those words that made Seungkwan believe him without a question. It wasn’t a naive suggestion or an optimistic prediction; Jeonghan spoke like it was the truth plainly written on the walls. He finally felt a long-awaited wave exhaustion wash over his anxieties, softening them until they fizzled away alongside the ebbing foam. All that was left behind were grains of sand. Suddenly, Seungkwan yawned,  and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in his twin bed at the dorms. 

“Well, I should be heading off to bed! Looks like you should be too, Seungkwan,” Jeonghan said, suppressing his own yawn. The freshman nodded in agreement. He definitely needed to rest up— this was going to be a big day, after all. 

“Say hi to Cheol hyung for me when you get home!” Vernon said. 

Jeonghan hummed thoughtfully as he made his way back to the entrance of the store. “I will if he’s there! He didn’t come home last night.” He turned to leave the boys with one last sleepy smile, seeming to laugh at something only he knew. 

“At least one of us is doing something right.” 

“Jihoon, why can’t I get this right?” 

“I’m sorry! This just sounds nothing like you,” Jihoon shrugged. It had been a rather busy morning, but things slowed down as it approached noon, giving him the chance to look at Joohyun’s fourth draft of responses.  “I’ve never heard you say stuff like ‘rad’ or ‘hella’... Like are you aware that you sound like a skater from the late 90’s?” 

“That’s because the reference I’ve been using is from 1997!” Joohyun huffed in frustration. She was already backspacing albeit with a little more force than necessary. “I wasn’t even born in ‘97!” 

“Exactly, so stop trying to write like that. What if you tried to—” 

“Eat my ass, Hong!” The sound of the kitchen door slamming open interrupted Jihoon’s (probably unhelpful) suggestion, and the two best friends watched as Bongseon stormed out of the cafe in a familiar rage. Luckily, there were no customers to witness it this time. 

Instinctively, they looked to the kitchen door, where Joshua stood with a resigned smile on his full lips. “Oops,” he said, scratching at the back of his neck apologetically. “Guess it was too soon to joke about our last break. Sorry about that, Jihoon. I’ll try to call in the head baker early to finish up the rest of the pastries for today.” 

He walked over to where they sat and plopped himself across from Joohyun. She offered Joshua a look of sympathy, but he responded by twisting his face up in a dumb expression, reassuring her that he was just fine. Still,  she couldn’t help feeling worried for both of her friends. No matter how many times Bongseon and Joshua broke it off and no matter how much Joohyun joked about it, she knew that their strong feelings for each other meant that it hurt a little every time they got into a fight. At least, that’s what she gathered from the various nights she spent soothing Bongseon while the girl cried into a toilet bowl, soju bottle still in hand. 

“It’s okay, Josh, you probably don’t have to worry too much. Knowing her, she’ll probably be back in 30 minutes to make up with you and then Jihoon will have to find someone to take over your shift,” Joohyun piped up. “But please take it back to your apartment this time, because I don’t make enough money to have every surface of my apartment sanitized again.” 

Joshua let out an easy laugh, as though he were not a man in deep shit. “Thank you, Joo. You always know what to say to make me feel better,” he sighed. “I should probably go after her. I’ll be back soon, Jihoon!” 

She waited for him to disappear out the door before turning to her best friend. “Wow, that’s gotta be a new record for them, right? I didn’t even know they got back together until this morning.” Joohyun was surprised to find that Jihoon had been silently staring at her for a good minute now. “...Why are you looking at me?” 

“What you said to Joshua,” Jihoon simply replied. 

“Oh, I was only joking about the sanitation thing. I just walked in on them once in the kitchen—“

“No I mean, how you said it. Maybe that’s how you should be writing your responses.” Jihoon grinned, watching as Joohyun gave him that look again, the one where she looks at him like he’s speaking from a third head. But he knew that this was going to be another Jihoon Genius moment, which seemed to be happening more frequently lately, much to his satisfaction. “Like you’re talking to one of your friends. I mean, it made Josh feel better, right?”

Joohyun’s eyebrows scrunched together and she mulled the idea over. Without another word to Jihoon, she began to slowly type on her laptop, gradually tapping faster and faster as she gained momentum. Her best friend giddily returned to his place behind the counter to tend to the customers that just walked in. He knew that once she got into a groove, there was no hope of stopping her. 

An hour later, Joohyun finally pushed away her laptop and waited for Jihoon to finish wiping down a table before calling him over. For some reason, she was anxious to show him the final product and even when he already sat besie her, she hesitated for a beat. Usually, her writing was professional and objective, always ending with a declarative period. She had spent years perfecting her reporting style so that when she presented the facts, that’s all they were. This, however, felt personal, like it was a part of her. And even though Jihoon probably knew her even better than herself sometimes, there was something so vulnerable about showing someone a side of her that she had only just discovered. 

And yet, she was curious to know— desperate to know: was it any good? 

“Well?” Joohyun watched for Jihoon’s reaction closely, both impatient and terrified to hear his thoughts. 

“Joohyun, this...” Jihoon started slowly. She braced for impact. “This is it. I think you’ve found Miss Soju’s voice.”

She exhaled. “R-really?”

“Yes, really. You answered the questions so thoughtfully, so you know it’s not just some generic bullshit you found on the internet. Plus, it was fun to read, like I think I’d read this even if I didn’t send a letter in,” Jihoon gushed, all while skimming over the words again. He turned to smile brightly at her, reminding Joohyun of a much younger Jihoon back in their elementary school days. “Most importantly though, it’s so you.”

Joohyun returned the smile, just as brightly. Warmth bloomed in her chest and across her cheeks. “Thanks, Jihoon, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Honestly, me neither,” Jihoon laughed.

“Um, can I ask you one more thing though?” Joohyun scrolled down to the last two entries, both of which asked for advice on how to make things official with a guy they’ve been talking to. The two letters were extremely similar in detail, but had been sent from two different emails and two different signatures. At first, she thought that maybe her judgement was muddled by her lack of sleep, and as the day went on, she figured her inability to recognize any nuance between the two letters was thanks her lack of experience. 

There was just something about the way they had described the boy. She knew that  intelligent, funny, kind-hearted, and unbelievably handsome were pretty generic adjectives. But what were the odds for both letters to also mention his infectious laugh and deep, dark eyes? “Do you think these two are from the same person? I’m trying to go for a confession theme for this article, so I included them both, but I’m afraid they’re too similar.” 

Jihoon read them over a couple of times, then shrugged. “They do sound pretty similar, but a lot of people go through that sort of thing. Also, so many people describe their crushes like that, but let’s be real, most of them end up being fuckboys. So trust me, both those people probably need your help. I mean, what’s the harm in publishing both, right?” 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Joohyun bit her lip, needing every ounce of reassurance she could get from her best friend. She read over her writing once, twice, thrice more. This was it. No more edits and no more excuses. Her finger hovered over the mousepad. “Okay, I��m going to send it in for approval now. Jihoon, you are about to witness me publish my first article for The Front.” 

Joohyun took a deep breath and clicked. Finally.

[skgway]

1825 May, Tues. 17

6 1/2

11 3/4

Gave Hotspur oat cake. Dawdled over one thing or other – Put on my new pellise, new London hat, and a pair of cloth boots unworn before. Breakfast at 9 – 

Took George in the gig and off to Haugh End to call on Mrs. Henry Belcombe at 9 3/4 – Drove there in an hour – Found them at breakfast – They were going out – Mr. Edwards carriage – Would call at Pye Nest, Shibden, etc. – Stood an hour and then all off – Drove after them – 

We called at Pye Nest – Mr. Butter (called Captain) Butter there – Said a horses foot and had always be washed and picked the moment he came into the stable after having been out, however small the distance might have been – He gave his horses lineseed chiefly on account of their coat – About a quart of lineseed put into a bucket which being filled with boiling water and covered was left to stand till morning – This was enough to mix with the corn of 3, some times 6 horses a day – It was good to mix it with chopped hay, and he mixed it also with chopped oat straw this latter straw being good to keep horses cool –

From Pye Nest, we went round the moor and stopt at the new assembly rooms to see them – Very convenient good rooms – The ball-room a very handsome room – From here took Mrs. H[enry] S[teph] B– [Belcombe] to see the old church – Then to see the piece-hall – I hurried a little in driving home and got here about 5 minutes before them – They got here at 2 1/2 and stood till 4 – Looking at my Parisian costumes amused and detained them – 

Mrs. H[enry] S[teph] B– [Belcombe] and I walked a little tête-à-tête on the terrace – I had gone up into her room with her for above 1/4 hour before we left Haugh End – She apologized most handsomely for not having answered my letter, in fact made the amenda honorable as well as possible – She had been miserable at first at the idea of Steph’s leaving Newcastle – He was getting on so well in the county – She thought it running a great risk – But now did not repent having gone to York, and would do all she could to be amiable to all parties – 

It was the suspicion that Mrs. Milne flirted too much with Mr. Meene that made all the quarrelling. Mr. Meene having to sail along the Humber somewhere below Hull in a joke asked Mrs. Milne and Lou to go with him. Mrs. M[ilne] took him at his word and was therefore from home when Milne arrived. He did not like this and behaved most rudely to Mr. Meene, all which was resented and the M’s [Milnes] and the Petergate party can never be on terms again. 

Harriet thought Mrs. Milne injudicious to go and I said I agreed with her, but really she appeared to me altogether inclined to be amiable to them all and spoke very handsomely and fairly. She supposed and hoped she and 𝛑 [Mariana] had parted good friends. Thought I to myself, one ought to hear both sides. She said there was nobody whose friendship she valued so much as mine and really she seemed to speak truth. She hoped to see me in York, should always have a bed for me and nothing could be more civil or do more to set all right. I told her I had made rather dishonorable mention of her to 𝛑  [Mariana] lately, two or three days ago. But the thing should now blo[w] over and I would think no more of it – 

After they left us (Mrs. Henry Priestley, Mrs. H[enry] S[teph] B– [Belcombe], Miss Salisbury and her brother Mr. Priestley S– [Salisbury] of Liverpool) sat talking to my aunt till after 5 – Went out to the new footpath at 5 1/2 – Got back at 6 40/60 – Dinner at 6 3/4 – My father and Marian called – Just before they came, told my uncle and aunt the three step business with 𝛑  [Mariana] last September twelve month. They at heart take my part – 

A little tired and sleepy in the evening – Very fine day – Barometer 3 1/2 degrees above changeable, Fahrenheit 49º at 9 50/60 p.m., at which hour came up to bed – It just struck me, I had told Mrs. H[enry] S[teph] B[elcombe] I had nothing to send to M– [Mariana], and I ought to send the Chrisophraes [Chrysoprase] ornaments (necklace, bracelets, and earrings beautifully set in gold 850 francs) –

Wrote one page of a 1/2 sheet note to Mrs. H[enry] S[teph] B– [Belcombe] and made up the parcel for George to take at 6 1/2 in the morning – Just wrote on the inside of the paper in which I wrapped the box, that I had not time to write a note but begged M– [Mariana] to unpack the necklace (untwist it) carefully – All this kept me up so long – E [two dots, treating venereal complaint] O [two dots, marking discharge] –

[sideways in margin] Mrs. H[enry] S[teph] B– [Belcombe] brought me a full halfsheet note from Miss Marsh (York) – She is not well and does not go to Winterslow – “Change in life so that I may be better another year or dead” – 

Examples of 19th Century chrysophrase jewelry. Chrysoprase was a favorite stone in England at the beginning of the 19th century, being set round with small brilliants and used for brooches and rings. At the present time it is said to be regarded by some as a “lucky stone.” Unlike emerald which owes its green color to the presence of chromium, the color of chrysoprase is due to trace amounts of nickel compounds in the form of very small inclusions.  [x]

[ficstogo]

Your Love (2/?)

Part 1

Pairing: Brian x Reader

Summary: After crashing in your’s and Rogers hotel room, Brian makes his way back to his and his girlfriends shared room to which he makes a discovery and now must reflect and make a decision.

Word Count: 2612

Warnings: Language, Slight Sexual References

A/N: Sorry for the long wait on this. I’m no good at keeping a good pace when it comes to writing which is why I don’t make schedules for these to come out. Hope this leaves you hungry for more.

To say that the morning rays were a welcoming thing to feel on your face would be a debate all on its own, especially when you think about having to face the events from the night before. Brian was one of these people. Feeling groggy and unkempt, Brian looked to see that he surprisingly didn’t sleep in given that he drank a couple of more glasses of alcohol when you left the night before.

Oh, that’s right. That whole thing wasn’t a dream.

Getting up, Brian rubbed his eyes to adjust to the light the window and lamp were displaying. He shut off the lamp, stretched and headed to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. God, he looked like shit. Can you believe that he felt awful? Conflicted even? Lord knows he has a lot of apologizing to do today. Washing his face to wipe all the grime off him, he headed out of the bathroom and noticed that he was still by himself in the room. Nobody came in last night which only made him wonder where you were now. He prayed that he didn’t scare you off, that you were going to avoid him. He only prayed that you did the same as him last night and passed out with one of the boys.

Brian exited the room, still feeling tired. Maybe a couple more hours of sleep would help. He did stay up late. Making his way towards his room, he noticed a few disarrayed dressed people making their way towards the elevator. He guessed the party was an all nighter. He could only think of Amelia. You were right, he shouldn’t have tried anything last night and if he was unhappy he needed to talk to Amelia about it. Work things out, after all, she is his girlfriend and he’d be a complete asshole if he went around sleeping with whoever if Amelia wasn’t around him.

Unlocking his room door, he slowly opened the door in case Amelia was inside sleeping. He didn’t want to wake her. Not yet.

As he expected, Amelia was splayed across her side of the bed, disheveled as the night before came with her to bed. He could only smile at her appearance as all her makeup was smudged, her hair in a bedtime frizz, her clothes wrinkled and on the floor…Brian squinted at what was next to her shoe. His heart dropped at the sight as he swallowed his now thick saliva down his throat. It was an unopened condom and it wasn’t his. No, no. He scoffed. Just overreacting. She was probably ready for me by the time she got back and I wasn’t here…probably disappointed her…

Brian’s a smart man and he knew to leave no stone unturned. Although he felt a bit guilty of assuming she would even do that to him, something deep down gave him a feeling she could. Maybe it was his insecurities or empathy from his actions last night or maybe logic, he didn’t know. He couldn’t really pinpoint it although, if he had to guess, it was all of the above. He headed quietly into the bathroom of their room and closed the door. Psyching himself up for what could be, Brian looked around the bathroom for anything misplaced. He was trying so hard to avoid the trash bin but by the end of his search, it only lead him to one place. His heart sank. There was the blinding evidence. And he didn’t know what to do with that kind of information. He didn’t know what to do in that very moment except stare.

He sat himself down at the edge of the bathtub. Here he was feeling bad about trying to do something that she was most definitely guilty of. He was beating himself up about being a deceitful snake and yet she went and done the ultimate sin. But what was he going to do? Wake her up and scream at her about what was in the trash bin? Cry and beg her why she had done such a thing? Right now, he needed to think. He needed to sleep.

Slipping off his shoes, he slipped himself quietly under the sheets of the shared bed on his back. He quickly turn to see Amelia flip on her side facing him. “Bri…is that you?” She groggily asked, not bothering to open her eyes. He turned to his side to face her as well. He stared at her disheveled self and he honestly had no idea how to feel about her. He was upset and angry, of course, but he also felt as if he cared and yet didn’t care all at the same time.

“Yes love, it’s me.” He responded promptly. He found his arm draped around her waist wanting to hold her and yet not wanting to get close to her at all. He was so contradicting, he didn’t even know which side of him he’s with and which side he’s suppose to be fighting against. Did he want to stay with her or did he want to leave her? Did he want to fight with her or did he want to pretend he didn’t see anything and go on as if nothing happened? He didn’t know and it was scaring him as to how uncertain he has become in the span of a minute.

“I was wondering where you were last night.” Her muffled voice said. I’m sure you were, he thought but then again, maybe if he stayed here, she wouldn’t have gone out to find someone else.

“No where you need to concern yourself about.” She only hummed at his response. In the small bit of silence that took place, Brian broke it as he shared, “I missed you and I want you to know that I care for you…” How pathetic can you get?

“Me too…”

That’s not what he wanted to hear. Although Brian would be the smart one of the group, he should know better then to say things to a rock. He couldn’t believe that he was about to bring it out but here goes nothing. “Do you love me?” No really, how pathetic can you really be?

With her face still buried deep into her pillow, she only said things that the pillow itself couldn’t even understand until she passed out once more. He sighed. How dumb can he be? Asking that when she can’t even comprehend that someone was even talking to her. He asked his question now but could he even ask when she’s awake? He didn’t have much faith that he could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your head hurt a bit especially with the sunlight hitting you directly in the eyes. You rose from your side of the bed realizing that you were lying next to John while Roger was next to Freddie on the other bed. You got up nudging everyone awake as you realized the time. They were suppose to head out later on today for the next concert and you didn’t want them to be off schedule. You were surprised Brian didn’t ring up anybody to wake them up. That was usually his thing.

“Come on Rog, we gotta get ready.” You said as you rubbed your eyes. “Somebody better ring up the other two and meet up for breakfast.”

Groans and whines filled the room knowing full well what lays ahead of them later on today, much rather be sleeping in. You pulled on Roger’s arm to lift him up with his response “Just a few more minutes, my head can’t take the day…”

“No Roger, we don’t have a few more minutes, come on.” You continued pulling up his weight.

“Alright fine…”

“We’ll meet you lot out the hallway in about…” John looks over to the clock on the nightstand with squinted eyes, “An 30 or 40 minutes? Is that fine?”

“That should be plenty.” You respond back while pushing Roger out the door. Out the door, the both of you stumble down the hallway and into your shared room. Your heart pounded. You didn’t know if Brian was still there or not. For one, you really didn’t know what to do with him, if anything’s changed between you two. He is one of your longest of friends from the group and two, you didn’t want either of you to explain to Roger why Brian was by himself in their room.

“Well what happened in here?” He asked as you peeked from behind him, quietly sighing. “Seems that someone couldn’t get away from having a party?” He says give you a raise of his eyebrow.

When you walked in, you could see what he meant. There were more wine bottles then what you left last night. Oh, Brian… You felt bad now. He was just lonely and you went and left him by himself. The least you could’ve done was talk out his frustrations and stay with him on the other bed instead of getting all anxious and flustered and trying to run out of there as fast as you could.

You gave out a breathy laugh saying, “Guess so.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you walked out the door, you saw all of them standing there except for two. You only rolled your eyes. Even when you try to do them good, they somehow fall out. “Alright men, time for breakfast.” You say with hands on your hips.

“Shouldn’t we wait for Amelia and Brian?”

An irritated look came about your face. Why was it always those two? “Fine. We’re giving them a minute and if they-”

“Morning fellas…” You hear behind you. Finally. You turn around to examine them both. They both looked like shit, even if Amelia tried to hide it behind her sunglasses. Brian had bags under his eyes. Maybe he always had them. That was definitely not because of last night.

As the band chatted amongst themselves, you mainly stole glimpses from Brian. You didn’t forget what happened last night and right now you were still having the same argument with yourself from last night. Brian didn’t take notice. He didn’t even give you a look to acknowledge that you were there. He actually forgot you were even here, as rude as it may sound but his head felt like it was spinning 100 miles per hour.

“Let’s get goin’ then, I’m starving for breakfast. Chop, Chop!” Freddie clapped behind everyone as he ushered them to the elevator. You stood to the side of the elevator doors. You noticed Amelia holding Brian’s hand with her head resting against his arm. You only scoffed in your head but you also noticed that Brian looked stiff. He just kept on staring above the doors as the numbers counted down.

You were worried but thought nothing of it until you all sat down for breakfast. He was fidgety. Pulling at his fingers while his knee was bouncing up and down. It surprised you that no one was taking notice to this, then again, everyone’s too busy trying to remedy their hangover. He was only ever like this when he was either in a rush or when he was anxious and by the look on his face, he didn’t look like he needed to be anywhere anytime soon.

“Hey Brian, wanna help me get the lot some tea?” He looked up at you with wide eyes as you stood up. Oh my god, that’s right…

“Um, yeah sure.” He said as he stood up. You looked towards Amelia only to see her head in her hands. Good. Don’t want to deal with her.

“Uh! Make sure you put-”

“I know Roger! How could I possibly forget how picky you are with your sugar?” You responded back. When you turned back around to the direction of the where the beverages were, Brian was already there making a cup. He didn’t wait for you which only made you think that he was still embarrassed about last night.

“I hope you’re not jittery because of what happened last night?” you questioned Brian from behind. His attention was obviously elsewhere. “Brian.” You said his name in an attempt to get his attention on you as you went to his side.

“Huh,” he looked around to see where you were as his hair bounced at his action.  “Oh no, that’s honestly not what I’m worried about at the moment…” He says as his eyes take a peek at their table and then back down to the cup in his hands.

You grip his forearm in an attempt to get him to stop messing with the straw that was swirling the contents within his cup. His eyes were now on you with some surprise. He hope you weren’t going to give him a small lecture or sorry’s or pity for that matter about last night. He had another issue to worry about at the moment that he needed to resolve or else he’d lose his mind. “You can tell me what’s wrong, you know? I’m still your friend.” He swallowed the thick saliva that has formed in his mouth looking down at his shoes and then back to your eyes. Maybe if he told you, he’d feel less stress. Last night proved how level-headed you are and if he really needed help, you were the best bet to having a good answer to his dilemma.

Brian licked his lips in nervousness. If he said it outloud, it’ll feel more real than in his head and not only would he be the only one thinking about it but someone else would see his burden. “Amelia cheated on me last night.” He saw your eyes go wide as your grip on his forearm tightened. “I found a tied off condom in the bathroom.”

“Brian I am so sorry. Does Amelia know that you know?”

“No I haven’t brought it up. I’m just confused as to what to do right now.”

“You need to tell her that you know. Let her explain herself-”

“Explain herself?? She cheated on me!” Brian stopped himself from getting any louder. He didn’t want to look like a mad man and he didn’t want Amelia to get involved. “The evidence is right there in that trash bin! It’s ok for her to cheat on me but when I wanted someone to be with me last night, I’m the bad guy!”

“No, Brian, that’s not what I meant!”

“Forget it! Forget that I said anything! It’s my problem that I have to work out on my own, right?” He then whips around back to the table, announcing to everyone else that he had to go back to his room.

You felt your face go hot out of frustration. You wanted to help but he somehow finds ways to agitate you so much. If only he’d let you finish explaining. Right at that very moment, you felt petty. You wanted to go after him and finish your thought but that’s something he would want, right? In that case, you’d stay right at your spot. If he came for your help later on, you’d blow him off. Show him you’re not one to yank around.

You finished up making everyone else’s tea in order not to make them suspicious of the both of you. When you walked back, Freddie was the first to ask. “Oh, I’m not sure. He did say he wasn’t feeling all too well so maybe it’s that.” Maybe you should take up in acting because they all accepted what you said without complaint.

“Hopefully he’s well enough to perform the next concert.” John said as he blew into his cup.

You could only take a look at everyone else and then down to where Brian exited. You’d hate to admit it now, but you were worried about him. You only hoped this won’t cause him to have a downward spiral. Especially now of all times. You looked towards Amelia, now with more reason to hate her. She did do some questionable things to make you consider but her actually cheating on Brian, it honestly didn’t surprise you.

—————————————————————————————————-

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Tag list: @moreinfinite @alexfayer @a-crowd-of-newsies @rrrogertaylor@discodeacygotmorerhythm @richiethotzierz @pietrorunsforme

[beckzorz]

Out of Nowhere (2/21)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/OFC Summary: An offhand comment at work draws Jesse Kaplan into the orbit of Bucky Barnes. Bucky’s excited at the prospect of normalcy, but there’s nothing normal about falling in love with the Winter Soldier. Words: 3577 A/N: HELLO FROM PART 2!!! Enter Bucky! :D And enter some unconventional formatting... A lot of this is drawn from my personal experiences, and a lot of my personal experiences involve texting my friends about what’s going on a hundred times a day XD (Sorry @kentuckybarnes​!) The song for this chapter is “Solitude” by Duke Ellington from In a Sentimental Mood. Hope you enjoy :3

PART 2: “SOLITUDE”

     Today, 6:38 PM

itsadrian: ahhh you look great!!!!! jesse.kaplan: Thanks :3333 jesse.kaplan: I’d feel better about this if I had a cocktail dress newer than the 1950s itsadrian: lol itsadrian: that’s what you get for only buying vintage clothes jesse.kaplan: My jeans are brand new Adrian… it’s my soul that’s the Real Old™ around here jesse.kaplan: don’t judge itsadrian: can’t help it itsadrian: at least it’s a nice one tho! the 50s are back in itsadrian: and black is classic itsadrian: i think if you went in a dress from the 40s you’d raise some Actual Old But Also Young™ eyebrows itsadrian: 50s seem pretty safe in comparison jesse.kaplan: don’t judge… but I had that same thought process haha itsadrian: SMART itsadrian: that’s why i keep you around :P jesse.kaplan: Well thank god otherwise I’d be having a panic attack on the metro which is never a great look jesse.kaplan: my roommate said it looked ok but I trust you more haha jesse.kaplan: oh geez here we go ttyl!! itsadrian: take a selfie with pepper potts!!!! byeeee

—

Jesse stuffed her phone in her clutch and adjusted its long strap across her body as she ran up the stairs to street level. The benefit was at a fancy hotel in Midtown, a block and a half from the subway. She was grateful she hadn’t given in to the urge to wear her fanciest shoes; her low black heels weren’t debilitating. Not yet, anyway. Hopefully there wouldn’t be too much standing in place.

She hummed jazz to herself as she walked briskly along, not meeting anyone’s gaze. Was it obvious where she was going, dressed up as she was? The benefit wasn’t hugely publicized, or at least she hoped it wasn’t. Sure, there might be a few supers there, but not the whole Avengers squad.

As soon as she rounded the corner, she sighed in relief. Though guests trickled in, the photographers corded off from the entry ignored them. No doubt they were waiting for the famous people.

Jesse hurried to the door, fished out the invite on her phone, and flashed it to the security guard as she went in. She heard sudden calls from the street, but the doors closed before she could see who was arriving.

Inside was cool, fancy—art deco carpeting, gilded columns, a gleaming reception desk. The odd tourist gawked; Jesse ignored them as best she could as she followed the directions of the smiling tuxedoed butler to the ballroom. She steeled herself and went inside.

Alright, so the room was gorgeous. A snazzy bar hugged the left wall, not far from the door, and a small raised stage complete with a Stark Foundation podium was on the far wall. Numbered tables set for ten took up much of the room, but there was a small area for schmoozing by the bar. Jesse brightened when she spotted the quartet just about to play—and a dance floor! Maybe they’d play some jazz, or swing…

Jesse deflated. She didn’t know anyone here.

“Excuse me,” someone said behind her, and Jesse apologized and made her way over to the bar, a vague smile fixed on her face. All she got was a water; no way was she drinking alcohol when she had to talk to strangers. She stood a few steps away from the bar, watching the few couples swaying to the music with a critical eye.

“Jesse?”

Jesse jumped and turned. A fellow dancer! Someone loved her tonight. “Mike! What are you doing here?”

“My company is getting a nod,” Mike said, grinning back down at her. He was pale and very tall—well over six feet—and wonderfully dressed, considering she’d only ever seen him in t-shirt and jeans. “You?”

“My colleague’s in the hospital, so I’m a last-minute replacement. She’ll recover,” Jesse added when Mike’s face screwed up. “If you’re here, I’m not sorry to have to replace her anymore though! How are you?”

“Pretty good, you?”

“Same old. Tired, but what else is new. Anyway, this isn’t exactly perfect music, but wanna dance?”

“Of course,” Mike answered.

Jesse chugged her water and left her empty cup and clutch at her table before hurrying back to Mike as a new song was starting. It had a better beat than the first song, and they snagged a spot near the band.

As soon as they starting pulsing to the music, Jesse’s lingering anxiety completely melted away. There was something magical about dancing with a good lead. Nothing else seemed to matter, and it was so easy to close your eyes and let yourself be led. And Mike was a very good lead.

Once they started doing more complex moves, where Mike was alternatively at arm’s length and swinging her around him, Jesse opened her eyes to avoid collisions. The song was good, predictable—they both hit a break in the music and grinned at each other.

Then Jesse recognized a face in the little crowd that was gathering around to watch them, and she couldn’t help but stare.

Sergeant Barnes.

His expression was severe, intense; his hair was pulled back tightly. Combined with a high forehead and his sharp suit, he looked two steps shy of terrifying. After a moment, he met her gaze. Jesse forced a smile and looked away, heat rising to her cheeks. She kept her eyes on Mike, only daring to look as far up as the onlookers’ collars when she wasn’t facing her friend.

The music was fun, her dancing was good, so why did the guy who had been so impressed by her work look so displeased with her now? Why couldn’t he smile like everyone else, and save her from being so worked up as to lose enjoyment in her one consolation tonight? She felt someone staring, cutting a line across her arms, her collarbone—she didn’t dare look to see if it was still him. She had to talk to him later.

The song finally ended, and Jesse thanked Mike with a customary hug. Some of the onlookers clapped, and Jesse warmed a little as she smiled shyly around at them. Barnes had vanished, thank god.

Jesse slipped away to get her cup, disturbed. She couldn’t think of Barnes like that; he’d done so much for BCEI. And Marilyn liked him. She took a breath to clear her head and arrived at her table.

Oh.

Well.

Sergeant Barnes was sitting next to her things. An old woman was chatting to him from his other side. Barnes glanced at her as she approached, but almost immediate turned his whole body to face her. His gaze was less severe than before; maybe the effect of his companion?

“Hello,” Jesse said, doing her best to maintain a genuine smile.

“Hey,” Barnes said. His voice was soft, a little melancholy, and not exactly friendly. Still, a big improvement.

Jesse slid into her seat and wrapped her hands nervously around her glass, which a waiter came by to refill. The tables were awfully crowded; there was no room to avoid Barnes' gaze without seeming rude. She took a steadying breath and looked back up at him as confidently as she could.

Okay, she knew he was ripped, but his face was oddly delicate. Maybe his sad eyes, or his mouth—Jesse cut herself off.

“I’m here for BCEI instead Marilyn,” she told him.

Barnes stiffened. His eyes narrowed as he leaned back a little to regard her with a suddenly terrifying demeanor. “Oh? What happened to Marilyn?”

“She broke her ankle,” Jesse blurted, her own eyes widening as his narrowed even further. “She’s alright though! Just a fall. A cat or… something. I’m sorry.”

“Bucky, contain yourself before you make this poor girl faint,” the old woman on Barnes' other side cut in. She leaned forward a bit and smiled, not unkindly, at Jesse. “You dance beautifully.”

“Oh, um, thanks,” Jesse said, cheeks hot. She stared into her water, trying to relax.

“I’m sorry,” Barnes said, low and repentant. “I was looking forward to seeing her.”

Jesse forced a little laugh. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too! She was looking forward to coming.”

“But you weren’t?” he asked. She looked up at that. He had his eyebrows raised a little, and she flushed anew. Was it so obvious?

“I only found out I was coming this morning,” she hedged. “I’ve never been to anything like this. I don’t think I’ll know if I should’ve looked forward to it until it’s over.”

He let out a rueful sigh. “Smart.”

Jesse sipped her water rather than agree with him. Far be it from her to tout her own intelligence. Though she couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking of. He had to be thinking of something specific. She wondered.

The old woman on Barnes' other side reclaimed his attention with what turned out to be a long-winded story. Jesse couldn’t help but admire his quiet attentiveness. Perhaps listening to other people was easier than talking for him? She often found it so among strangers.

Five minutes in, the band quieted. The rest of their table filled in as Pepper Potts mounted the stage, a hulking man in a suit close at her heels. Jesse tried to figure out who in the crowd was a donor and who, like her, was a beneficiary. It was easier with the women—the rich ones had nicer, blingier jewelry. The men… all wore suits.

Potts began her speech, silencing all other conversations. “Hi and welcome to Stark Industries’ annual benefit…”

Jesse listened, half attentive, as Potts introduced various people representing various organizations. Each one went on stage to applause and shook Potts’ hand (continued applause), made a short speech about their Good Works (followed by applause), and left the stage. Jesse began to tune it all out, but then she heard Barnes' name and perked up.

“—Sergeant James Barnes, for his work with the Brooklyn Children’s Education Initiative.”

A smattering of applause echoed through the room as Barnes stood. The couple across the table from Jesse paled as they stared at him in fresh realization. Had they really not recognized him? Jesse glanced around; the shock and whispers were poorly masked by polite clapping. Apparently he wasn’t as instantly recognizable as she’d assumed.

A sudden burst of panic flared in her gut. Would Barnes' checkered history color BCEI’s opportunities in the future? Had she made a mistake soliciting his help?

She stared anxiously around the crowd, then back to Barnes. He stepped nimbly between the tables and up the steps to the podium, shook Pepper Potts’ hand, and adjusted the mic to his six-foot frame.

“Thanks,” Barnes said. His voice was soft, round, and vaguely ironic, but he met her eyes from across the room and gave her a serious little nod. Surprised, Jesse nodded back, and Barnes looked up to the prompter. “The Brooklyn Children’s Education Initiative provides the opportunity for underprivileged kids in my hometown to be fully engaged with their education. Their after-school programs at schools around Brooklyn welcome students of all backgrounds. I was lucky enough to participate in a program about the Great Depression, and it was inspiring to watch the students take control of their own learning. BCEI is a great cause. Thanks, Pepper, and everyone else who enables them to continue their good work.”

Once he stepped back, Jesse relaxed. It was so obviously scripted that she felt no qualms in only clapping as long as most others. It wasn’t any skin off his back if she didn’t give a standing ovation for her own organization.

Best of all, the speech completely sidestepped his questionable past.

When Barnes made it back to the table, Jesse smiled up at him briefly, finally at ease about her attendance. She was done! BCEI had done its part. As soon as the rest of the speeches were done, she could leave, dance with Mike, make small talk—

Well, hopefully not small talk.

As the next speech went underway, Jesse looked through the crowd for Mike, finally spotting him a few tables away next to a middle-aged blond woman. Mike was busy watching the speech, but the woman eventually glanced Jesse’s way. Jesse gave a little smile and looked back to the stage, embarrassed.

Pepper Potts finished her closing statements and left the stage (to applause) as the band picked back up. Jesse turned at last to Barnes and cleared her throat.

Once he turned to her, she said, “Thank you for your speech.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. He took a sip of his drink; Jesse realized he too was just drinking water, and wondered why. Habit, or necessity?

“I don’t know your name,” Barnes said suddenly.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I’m Jesse.”

He studied her face. “You apologize a lot,” he said. “Why?”

“I dunno, Jewish guilt?”

“Ha.” Barnes said, but he was not smiling.

Of course—he’d worked for Nazis. Jesse winced.

“Alternatively, bad parenting?” she offered.

Barnes gave a tiny smile—his first all night. Jesse almost cheered.

“Hi, Jesse.”

Jesse spun in her seat. “Mike! Hi!” She smiled up at her friend. Mike glanced at Barnes with muted curiosity.

“Wanna dance?” he asked.

She smiled and jumped to her feet. Let Barnes be awkward at someone else. “Take a guess.”

–

Jesse danced with Mike for a single glorious song. When a stranger asked her to dance, she accepted, but instantly regretted it. She smiled tensely the whole time, using as much force as she dared to keep her shoulder from popping out of its socket. Once the song was over, she fled back to Mike with a relieved sigh.

While they were dancing, someone kicked the back of Jesse’s ankle. She stumbled with a wince; Mike gripped her elbow, steadying her.

“I’m sorry! Are you okay?” she asked automatically, turning to face whoever had stepped on her.

It was Barnes, dancing with the old woman from their table. His face was pinched, but as she spoke his expression grew incredulous.

“I kicked you,” he said. “Are you okay?”

“Of course, it happens all the time,” Jesse said. She rolled her ankle, containing a wince. Barnes just stared at her. She smiled, hoping to diffuse—reassure him. “So I’ll have a bruise! It’s the cost of doing business. Not a big deal. You’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” he said, still looking at her as though she had two heads.

“Good,” Jesse said. She nodded with finality and turned back to Mike. As they finished out the song, she occasionally met Barnes' eyes. It was hard to look friendly under the force of his confusion, especially as she considered the necessity of asking after the well-being of someone who had not been hurt when that someone was a supersoldier.

Of course Barnes was fine. He was engineered to be fine.

Physically, anyway. Who knew what was going on in his head.

The song ended—Mike timed a dip perfectly—and Jesse hugged him and turned to get some water.

“Would you like to dance?”

Jesse blinked up at Barnes. He stood in her way, his gloved hand held out to her. She looked down at it, then back to him. Why was he asking? Out of politeness? He’d been more confounded by her than anything…

More importantly, did she actually want to dance with him? Would he hurt her? He didn’t seem to know how to express himself in public. Did that translate to dancing?

Well, the old woman had finished her dance with him in one piece, so she probably would too.

“Okay,” she said finally, and put her hand in his.

The corners of his mouth turned up, though she wouldn’t call it a smile exactly. He put his other arm—his flesh-and-bones arm—under hers and across her back, drawing her in so close that her nose brushed his jacket until she turned her head aside. She let out a shallow breath and tried to relax as the music started, simple and slow and gentle. His muscles shifted with his movements, and a sudden flush spread over her face as she realized how close they were. Jesse swallowed. Should she try to make conversation? Should she just bear the silence? What would they even talk about? They’d covered all the normal things back at the table…

“You dance real well,” Barnes said suddenly.

Jesse hummed her thanks and smiled despite herself. If someone who had lived through the actual swing era thought she was doing a good job even when she was so damn uncomfortable, she had to be good.

He moved them a little apart and studied her. “And you look… a little out of place.”

“What?!” Jesse laughed, too bewildered to be offended.

“Your dress is out of time. It’s, um…” Barnes frowned. His gloved hand clenched around hers, and her smile fell flat. Her heart twisted at his obvious confusion. God, no wonder he’d stared at her! He couldn’t place her. Captain America had missed everything for all the years he was missing, but the Winter Soldier… hadn’t.

Her face burned. How could she have been so self-centered? Every concern she’d had about Barnes had been all about her, not him. So what if he was awkward, or intimidating? Hadn’t he suffered enough? Hadn’t he earned the right to be free of her judgment?

“It’s from the fifties,” Jesse said at last, glancing at their clasped hands as his hold tightened again. He loosened his grip, chagrined.

“I thought so,” he said. “But—”

“My hair’s very much not fifties,” she added. “That might have thrown you off?”

Barnes tilted his head as he regarded her. She tried not to squirm, but being stared at by a man trying to piece her various incongruent parts together made her flesh crawl. It felt like an eternity before he was satisfied.

“Right,” he said. He let out a breath between his teeth and drew her back in, settling his arm securely around her. “Thank you.”

His mouth was by her ear, and the quiet warmth of his words sent a sudden shiver through her. Unable to speak, she just nodded.

How could such a strange, displaced man make her feel his presence with nothing more than a simple thank you? Dancing with him was so different from dancing with all the other leads she knew. With them, she had familiarity, comfort… There was comfort here too—he knew what he was doing, no question—but it was spiced with something dark. However awkward he was in conversation, they weren’t limited by that now. Behind that uncomfortable veneer, Barnes was dangerous. Somehow, that thrilled her.

Jesse sighed and closed her eyes, trying not to melt into Barnes’ solid hold. Her efforts must have been in vain, as he tightened his arm around her ever so slightly. She expected him to put her back to a safe distance, but… he didn’t.

Well, she’d take it. Whatever danger he posed to his enemies, right now he wasn’t hurting anyone.

The rest of the song passed in a pleasant blur. When it was over, Jesse hesitated before stepping back. Barnes had gone still, but he let her pull away without resistance.

“Thank you,” Jesse said. She smiled tentatively up at him.

Barnes didn’t answer; his eyes were dark and his shoulders tense. He stared down at her, unblinking. Jesse bit her lip, unable to look away. After a tense moment, he let out a quick breath, nodded sharply, and stalked away.

Jesse stood immobilized on the dance floor until Mike came by with his own water.

“You okay, Jesse?” he asked.

“I think so,” she said. She shook off the strange aftereffects of her dance with Barnes. “I think I’m going to head out. It was great seeing you! Will you be at the dance on Thursday?”

“I should be,” Mike said. He gave her a quick hug. “Bye.”

“See ya.”

Jesse made her way back to her table, still half in a daze as she gathered her clutch and wove her way back to the door. She was almost there when someone put a firm hand on her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

It was Barnes. His face was back to its normal solemnity, but Jesse flushed all the same at the sudden memory of being held against him.

“Where is Marilyn staying?” he asked.

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m sorry. I can find out,” she offered reflexively, then frowned. “Although I don’t know how to get in touch with you.”

“Give me your phone,” he said. “Unlocked.”

Jesse blinked and did as he asked. There was no arguing with that tone of voice. Barnes started a new text, and Jesse raised her eyebrows. “Aren’t you worried I’d give your number to someone else?”

He gave her a dry look, but paused. “Are you going to?”

“No…”

“So I’m not worried.” He sent the text and passed her phone back to her. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” Jesse tucked her phone away, bewildered. “You and Marilyn must have really hit it off.”

“She’s great. No nonsense, no judgment.”

Jesse bit the inside of her lip. “I suppose so.”

Barnes’ eyes narrowed at once. “What do you mean?”

“Oh—well, everyone’s judgmental. It’s just that Marilyn is usually right, so it’s not so obvious. Or annoying. At least for sensible folk. You know.”

Barnes smiled, his face transformed into something sweet and warm. Jesse couldn’t help but smile back.

[cheekybluefox]

160 Prompt List

1. Why are we at a strip club? 2. I’m sorry, you said what to your teacher? 3. Am I dead? 4. Its always been you. You and always you. 5. Stay with me. 6. How about we put the gun down, and we talk about this? 7. I came here to kick ass and chew gum, and I’m all out of gum.. 8. Whatever it is, I didn’t do it. 9. Am I supposed to be impressed? 10. Don’t tempt me. 11. Is that mine? 12. I can’t do this anymore. 13. Go to hell. - Already been there, but thanks for the invite. 14. Look at me. 15. Where did you get that? 16. Here, take my hand. Everything is going to be fine. Just hold onto me and keep moving. 17. You don’t need to protect me. 18. I had a nightmare about you, and I just needed to make sure you were okay. 19. I told you not to fall in love with me. 20. You know it’s okay to cry, right? 21. I just want to be left alone right now. 22. Those things you said last night, did you mean it? 23. Promise me you come back, just..I need you to promise me. 24. I could tell it was your favorite book by all the notes in the margin. 25. Where do you think you’re going? 26. Despite what you may think, I can look after myself. 27. Just please, be my best friend right now and not the person they I confessed my love to. 28. Well, if you insist. 29. I can’t believe you don’t like Disney films. 30. You’re lucky you’re so cute. 31. Sometimes I really dislike you. 32. Hold my hand, we need to make this look convincing. 33. I’m like 20% sure this plan will work There’s like an 80% chance that it could end in violence and Gore, but this plan is solid, I swear. 34. If I die, I’m coming back to haunt you. 35. If you don’t want to talk about it then just say so; but do not say you are fine, when you so obviously are not. 36. I made cupcakes because I know you like them. 37. My parents asked me about you again. 38. Wait, this is your handwriting? This chicken scratch? 39. I didn’t know you could play. 40. Things don’t always turn out the way you want them to. 41. You two sure you aren’t married? 42. You can’t sit on the sidelines all your life. 43. You deserve so much better. So much more. 44. You haven’t each touched your food, what's going on baby girl? 45. Stay the night. Please. 46. Please pretend to be my boyfriend/girlfriend. I’ll owe you big time. 47. Its midnight. What do you want? 48. You’re strangely comfortable. 49. Don’t fuck with mama bear. 50. I just need you here. 51. How long have you been standing there? 52. Is that what you call an apology? 53.I’ve loved you since I laid my eyes on you. The very moment, I first saw you, and I…oh, fuck it! 54. Just hold me. 55. Can I hold your hand? 56. I just don’t know how to look forward anymore. 57. She’s still alive, she has to be. 58. Get that pretty little butt over here. 59. Is there a special reason as to why you’re wearing my shirt? 60. You’re cute when you’re angry. 61. I didn’t realise I needed your permission. 62. I’m not jealous. 63. Forever is a long time. 64. This is seriously sketchy. 65. I lost the baby. 66. Rude! 67. Let’s blow this joint. 68. Oh, bite me. 69. I haven’t slept in four days. 70. Stop being such a baby. 71. Hey, calm down, its okay. They cant hurt you anymore. 72. I’m too sober for this shit. 73. You can’t banish me! It's my bed too! 74. Good thing I didn’t ask your opinion. 75. Its six in the morning, you’re not drinking vodka. 76. You work for me. You’re my slave. 77. The kids! They ambushed me! 78. You may have to buy my silence. 79. There’s a herd of them. 80. You smell like wet dog. 81. Just smile, for me. Please? I really need to see your smile right now. 82. Just show me what’s behind your back. 83. Take one more step in that direction, and I’ll murder you. 84. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of us. 85. Everyone deserves a second chance. 86. Please don’t cry, I can’t stand to see you cry. 87. You can’t keep pretending that it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did! 88. I think I’m falling in love with you and it scares the shit out of me. 89. Its cold, take my coat. 90. I’m such a fool for not seeing this earlier. 91. I’m not blind, I’ve seen the way you look at her. 92. Never let them die, they’re the soap opera of my life. 93. Could you just, IDK, stop murdering people for shits and giggles? - Did you just say IDK in a verbal conversation? 94. Sleep in your car if you don’t want the sofa. 95. We bet on it. You lost. Now you have to do it. 96. Let’s get wasted, and go piss on his grave. 97. This is all your fault. - I hope so. 98. Did you just agree with me? No, you said it now, no take backs. 99. Stop doing that thing with your face, its making want to vomit. 100. You’re a psychopath. - I prefer creative. 101. You look… - Beautiful, gorgeous, like a Goddess walking upon the earth. Yes, I know. Now let’s move on. 102. I know, all you want is to go home but you know what? I want to go to Mars. Know what though? It’s never going to happen. Accept it. 103. Nope, can’t go to hell. Satan has a restraining order against me. 104. Get over it. Pussy. 105. It’s three in morning. - yes. Why are you here? - I live here. No, on the floor. With me. 106. I don’t hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water I’d drink it and piss on the ground. 107. You’re judging me. - Yea, its a hobby of mine. 108. FBI! OPEN THE DOOR! -But its so much more fun when you break it down. 109. I’d rather be pecked to death by a flock of woodpeckers. 110. How drunk are you on a scale of one to ten? - Yes. 111. Are you stalking me? - Not in a creepy way. 112. Focus on me. 113. Please don’t waste your tears on him. 114. Ice cream is a good start. 115. Did you just slap me? 116. All is fair in love and war, darling. 117. My vote is on the lemon cakes. 118. Get your dirty ass boots off my nice, clean sheets. 119. I like night time. It's quiet. I can think. 120. Look, there goes my last fuck to give. 121. Why are you walking around naked? 122. Stare at the stars all you want, but you won't find the answer to your problems up there. The real world is down here. 123. I underestimated you. - Classic mistake. 124. How did you manage to get frosting on the lampshade? 125. What’s the worst that could happen? - Famous last words. 126. You want it? Beg. 127. Yes, I heard you. I just don’t care. 128. Eat a bag of dicks. Dick. 129. You’re special to me. 130. If we get caught I’m blaming you. 131. Do not try me right now. 132. You give the best hugs. 133. I swear you love your hair more then me sometimes. 134. Tell me a secret. 135. Shut up or I’ll choke you. - I could be into that. 136. Let’s start with the real questions, tits or ass? 137. You make me nervous. 138. Don’t give me that look. 139. Maybe I did? So what! I don’t have to run everything by you! 140. Tell anyone and I’ll kill you, chop up your body and sell the parts. 141. That’s not your name. 142. Oh, well done. What do you want? A gold star? 143. You like sunflowers right? 144. You game? 145. Just get in the fucking blanket fort. 146. Sorry isn’t gunna help you when I’m kicking your ass. 147. Were you born a dick? Or do you go put of your way to be one? 148. Break her heart and I’ll break your face. 149. Well that was unsettling. 150. Only I can touch you. 151. Don’t tell me to shut up. You shut up. 152. Your mother/father would be so proud. 153. You stole his wallet? - I prefer borrowing without permission. 154. You going to kiss me or what? 155. Die quietly will you? 156. You’re my one. 157. You want it? Come and get it. 158. Why are you wearing Mickey mouse ears? 159. Lock the door next time. 160. Have kids, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

Hi guys! So I love writing. So I thought I’d try this. I’ll be posting things I’ve thought of myself but I would also love to write things for you guys too. These are the fandom’s I’m happy to write for : - Harry Potter - Game of Thrones - X men - Avengers - Criminal minds - Guardians of the galaxy - Star wars - The hobbit - Lord of the rings. - Once upon a time (s1 - s3A) - Teen Wolf (s1 & s2) - Walking dead ( I watched s1 - s3, then s6 & s7) - Naruto

[sexxmacfarlane-blog]

Hungry Eyes, Starving Heart

A Seth MacFarlane Fan Fiction

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: Hey everyone! I decided to make a fan account because my personal was not meant for writing. Its just random posts that I reblog. I honestly had no idea Seth had this many fans on tumblr. I used to write Teen Wolf fan fiction about a year ago so I’m a bit rusty but please leave feedback and if you want more chapters. Right now its PG but smut is to come in later!

What do most students do their senior year of high school? Party and have fun. They stay busy planning their prom dates, saving for senior trip and enjoying their last year as a child. But me? I am busy trying to make sure I get into my dream college, University of California-San Diego. I want to major in biology and spend my life studying various diseases then ultimately finding a cure for them. In order to achieve this sort of feat I am literally pushing myself to limit. Obtaining every possible credit I can get my hands on and perfecting my only extra curricular activity, choir. I am up to my eyeballs in things I have to get completed and if it weren’t for my best friend I wouldn’t know what to do.

“Top of the morning love!” Nora’s voice chimed into my ear. I shook my head out of my day dream.

“Morning you. Did you bring me one of those?” I asked while eyeing the large coffee she had in her hand.

“This one is yours, I already downed mine. Wow you look like shit El. What’s wrong?” She sounded like a total mom.

“Thanks and I appreciate the compliment too. I didn’t sleep much last night. Was up late finishing my summer projects. I had so much I couldn’t finish everything in time. My dad made me go on vacation for 2 weeks and that took up a lot of valuable time.” I finished with a shrug.

“Elise you have always been the smartest girl in school. Your grades are fine. Why so much worry? Its our senior year! Let’s relax before we both go off to big bad college.” Nora said sweetly. She honestly means well but simply doesn’t understand.

“Nora you know I have to get into San Diego. Its my dream. I have to earn my keep, I just can’t waltz in! Now please quiz me.”

I handed her a deck of flash cards for English and had her quiz me on the definitions. She showed me each word and I stated the definitions with ease. We were almost done with the deck when something, or someone I should say caught my eye. Entering the cafeteria was a man I had never seen before. He carried a brief case and was wearing a teacher I.D. badge. I couldn’t stop myself from watching him as he went through the line and grabbed a quick meal. He thanked the cafeteria clerk with a bright warm smile. My lips automatically twitched into barely noticeable a grin. He was contagious.

“Earth to Elise, hello? You mean to tell me you can’t tell me the definition of personification after acing the college level vocabulary in the first half of the deck?” I could hear Nora but I wasn’t able to speak. The mysterious man had me completely entranced. Finally she noticed what I was staring at.

“Oh okay, I bet that’s the new English teacher, you know Mrs. Holloway is on maternity leave for the rest of the year right?” Nora asked.

“Yeah he must be, I have never seen that man before in my life. Wow I had no idea she wouldn’t be coming back?” I replied.

“Oh yeah she said 6 weeks wasn’t long enough and she wasn’t ready to leave her baby just yet. I doubt she will ever come back! So I guess you did most of this summer work for nothing.” Her tone was playful now, she found this funny.

“Well hopefully he will pick up where she left off. I want to stay above the game regardless. Was it just me or was he kinda cute ?” I asked. Nora snorted and almost choked on her spit.

“What? That old guy? He’s was like what 40? No way El. What’s wrong with you? He is old enough to be our dad for christ’s sake!” My face instantly turned red. Yeah she’s right I thought to myself, too old and I was crazy for thinking he was cute. Get a grip Elise.

“Never mind I mean from a distance he looked cute.” Nora nodded and just like that brushed the whole situation off. She was too busy scrolling through her phone to continue caring. I nibbled at the rest of my breakfast while reading a book. After what felt like an eternity the bell rang out to dismiss us to 1st period. I had AP physics and had no idea who my classmates were going to be. Nora was my only real friend and no offense she didn’t care about school as much as I did. And all of my classes were AP besides choir of course which was the only class I had with her. The first 4 classes went by slowly. They were spent handing out books and going over the syllabus. I was starving by the time lunch came around. Unfortunately Nora and I didn’t share the same lunch period either so here I was stuck defending for myself while trying to find a seat. The indoor cafeteria was absolutely full, the tables outside were also. I wandered the grounds until I found an empty picnic table by a tree. It was vacant thanks to its distance from the school. I didn’t mind though, I always left lunch early anyways to ensure I wouldn’t be tardy. I sat down with my tray and continued reading in my book since I was alone. I popped earbuds in to better concentrate on the words in front of me. Mindlessly munching down on a cheese burger I was startled by a tray dropping on the table. I quickly jumped up while yanking my headphones out.  

“Oh my apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was just looking for a spot to eat, apparently this is the most crowded lunch period and  I noticed you had this whole table to yourself. Mind if I join you?” I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was the new teacher that I spotted from this morning. He was even more breath taking up close. His dark brown eyes that resembled coal earlier were now like honey in the sunlight, his smile was beautiful thanks to his spotless white teeth. His jet black hair was styled very casual in a sort of messy quiff. I noted then he was very tall too, especially compared to my short stature. I must have looked like an ant through his eyes. I struggled to find my words but eventually did.

“Oh of course pl…please sit. I was just really into my book and didn’t see you. No one ever bothers me when they see I have headphones in.”  I replied with a small smile.

“Thank you miss. I’m new here so I’m not too keen with all the rules. I’m Mr. MacFarlane by the way. You are?” He said while extending his hand out. I softly grabbed it as he shook softly.

“I’m Elise Goodman. You are the new English teacher correct?” I said curiously. I tried not to sound nervous. He was so gorgeous that it was becoming intimidating.

“Pleasure meeting you Ms. Goodman. And yes I’m Mrs. Holloways replacement. I must say I’m pretty nervous. I have been subbing at the college for quite sometime. High schoolers? That’s a whole new world.” His voice was beyond beautiful, it was deep and elegant. He sounded like someone who should talk on the radio or voice the previews in movie theaters. I was hanging onto every word that fell from his lips. He spoke about moving here from a neighboring town, he said most of the teachers here weren’t very welcoming. He claims because of his previous position but I think it’s because of his physical appearance. He looked like a model in comparison to the rest of the staff. Most of the teachers here were either old or super nerdy. His profession didn’t fit his appearance at all.

“Richard Dawkins? Really?” He asked while pointing down to my book.

“Uh yeah I am kind of a biology freak. Mr. Dawkins is my hero.” I said with a blush. He noticed and smiled at me.

“Why are you embarrassed? That is something to be proud of. You seek education. Do you know how rare that is these days?” He sounded like an angel speaking to me. Once again my cheeks told on me.

“Well I…I’m a dork. That’s not something to be proud of. I am literally teased for being myself which just so happens to be a huge nerd. I love science more than most 18 year old girls.” He laughed  at my reply. I felt hurt, that wasn’t meant to be funny at all it was the truth.

“You shouldn’t care what your peers think. In 10 years you will be successful and they will be assistant managers in a super market down town. You will go places while they are stuck with minimum wage.” Wow he was blunt. Not really in a rude way but in a literal manner. He wasn’t afraid to speak his mind and I envied that. I was always too scared to say anything in fear of making someone mad.

“I have never really thought of it that way before?” I bit my lip and looked down at my watch. I gasped and gathered my things up.

“I am so sorry but I have to leave now, I can’t be late for 5th period. I’m always early for class and this one is on the other side of the building. It was great talking with you Professor MacFarlane! Thank you for sitting with me.” I pushed my glasses up onto my nose and threw my bag over my shoulder. I dropped my book on the ground and quickly bent over to pick it up when I realized my skirt had climbed further up my waist. Damn uniforms were always messing up. I grabbed the book up quickly and threw it into my bag. I shimmed my skirt down hoping he hadn’t seen my underwear and half my ass. He cleared his throat loudly, I spotted a grin and I knew at that moment he had seen everything. How embarrassing! Great, I flashed the hot new English teacher after just meeting him. My face was now the color of a ripe tomato. I wanted to turn around and apologize but I couldn’t face him after that. I scurried away and bolted through the side door. Nora just so happened to be at her locker as I ran to her she laughed seeing me in my current state.

“Elise what the hell are you running from? The first bell hasn’t even rang yet.” She asked while I tried to catch my breath.

“Okay so the new English teacher his name is Mr. MacFarlane by the way, he joined me for lunch outside. And uh well I accidentally flashed him my whole ass! I bent over to pick up my book that fell and my skirt had slid up over my hips and bam. It was just on display. I could have died Nora! I was so embarrassed! He was way cool and now I ruined it.” Her eyes grew wide then she burst out into laughter.

“Only you El, only you. I swear that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day. Now every time he sees you in class he is going to think about your ass! Wait you had underwear on right? Or was it a thong?”  She asked in a serious tone.

“Fuck Nora I have regular underwear on! Thongs are very uncomfortable.” She rolled her eyes at my response.

“No they’re not, virgins don’t wear thongs. I forgot you have yet to be deflowered my little friend.” She patted my shoulder.

“Oh hush. I just haven’t found a guy I’m attracted to in that way yet.” I grumbled while digging around in my locker.

“I think you have. You’re hot for teacher aren’t you! No need to confess, I know you are, after your little statement this morning. You want the English teacher! God that’s so gross. He is ancient Elise. I mean at least settle for a college guy.” Nora went on ragging me into the next century.

“I am not hot for teacher! I mean he is insanely attractive, nice, intelligent and…fuck it. I am. Kill me now Nora!” I admitted defeat.

 Nora and I parted ways, I had 2 more classes before AP English. It was my last class of the day and I am not going to be able to look Mr. Macfarlane in the face. The next 2 periods went by too fast for my liking. I was biting my nails in AP European History just knowing when the bell chimed I would have to enter his classroom. I gathered my books for 7th period and made my way inside. Of course I was early, but thankfully he wasn’t in the room yet. I took a seat in the back of the class near the window. Within minutes the room started filling up. I watched the door anticipating him to be next. Then finally he stepped in. He had an large coffee in hand and a stack of papers.  

“Afternoon everyone. My name is Mr. Macfarlane. I am the new English teacher. I was working at the college but took this exciting new offer. High school is a whole new ball park but I look forward to this opportunity. Especially the fact that this is an AP class so that means you all actually give a shit. Pardon my French but I am simply being truthful.” We all laughed as his comment. We knew exactly what he meant. He passed out the syllabus and went over it. He was picking up where right around where Mrs. Holloway left off and I was relieved. He told us the summer projects needed to be left on his desk at the end of the week. Thankfully he was easy on us since it was the first day and we spent the rest of the class talking amongst ourselves. I didn’t really like anyone else in this class so I went straight to reading. I was alone in the back corner and that’s how I liked it. Everyone else chattered in groups and my ears picked up on a nearby conversation. It was Laura Compton and her friends. They were the class bitches. No one liked them but every guy wanted to sleep with them. And they were known for getting around town. Okay now I sound like a 70 year old man. To put it bluntly they were just a bunch of whores. Laura was going on about how hot Mr. Macfarlane was. So I wasn’t the only one…Nora just has bad taste. Anyways the way they were talking about him was making my blood boil. Like he was an animal up on the auctioning block. They were only interested in a fuck. I actually wanted to get to know him better, he was so sweet and interesting. I ground my teeth at their words. I couldn’t focus on my book anymore. I looked up at the clock and it was almost time for the dismissal bell. When I looked up Mr. Macfarlane’s eyes were glued to me. I quickly looked back down. Then he stood up and made an announcement.

“I need to see Elise Goodman after class.” Hearing him say my name made my heart skip a beat. Laura and her clique casted their glares at me. I could feel their eyes burning into my skin. Minutes then passed like seconds and the bell rang out. I stayed seated while everyone else filed out of the room. I couldn’t help but squirm when I heard his footsteps. I looked up to see him smiling as he sat on top of the desk in front of me.

“Look about earlier, I’m so sorry. I am beyond embarrassed and ashamed. I swear it wasn’t intentional sir. I’m not like that at all!” I spat out before he had a chance to even say anything.  He chuckled at my distressed state.

“Elise please, you don’t have to apologize. Accidents happen. I know you aren’t “like that” And I’m not mad at you, far from it actually.” He said with a sweet smile.

“Really? I was worried all day about the whole situation. These old skirts are not easy to work with sometimes. And I didn’t want to make a bad first impression. “ I replied quickly stammering on before realizing the last part of his reply. He said he wasn’t mad, far from it…was he hinting to something else? He had liked what he had seen?  No way I’m overthinking it. I was now silent. I looked up to see him grinning. My face flushed bright red. That is when I felt something between us. Almost like a magnetic force. With every fiber of my being I wanted to jump at him and just kiss those perfect lips. How I kept myself restrained I’ll never know. That’s when I could feel my underwear soaking by the second. Never before in my life had I felt this way towards someone. Of course I’ve have had crushes before but that was the extent of it. I never pictured myself pouncing one of them. If I were being honest, I wanted to do more than just kiss the man in front of me. I remained silent though, I was afraid to speak.

“I look forward to reading your summer projects. You can tell a lot about a person from the way they interpret classic works of literature. The way a book speaks to a person is a reflection of their mind and some say even their soul.” He spoke like a true poet.

“I couldn’t agree more sir.” I replied in almost a whisper. I was completely drawn to this man whom I just met. Could he possibly feel the same way? No….stop it Elise.

“See you tomorrow Ms. Goodman.” He said while gathering my books up for me. He held them while I stood up and threw my bag over my shoulder.

“Uhm thank you, see you tomorrow Professor Macfarlane.” I walked out of the room holding my breath. I skipped to my locker to put my books away. The hallways were almost empty. Aside from Nora who stood by our lockers with her arms folded.

“What took you so long El? I’ve been waiting on you forever!” She said in an annoyed tone.

“Sorry I had to stay after class. Mr. Macfarlane needed to ask me something about the summer project. I hope he goes easy on the grading.” I tried to act casual.

“Oh. Well I bet you liked that. One on one time with your crush.” She winked at me. I had to be inconspicuous about this. I didn’t want to start anything that could cause trouble.

“It was okay. I mean he’s cute but you’re right. Definitely too old. I do need to get out in the dating game, we just have slim pickings in our class though so it won’t be easy.” Nora slammed her locker and stared at me.

“Are you serious? Little miss book worm is wanting to try dating?” Oh no Nora was going to take this too far.

“Well not exactly. But if a guy asked me on a date I wouldn’t be so quick to say no. I mean it is about time I gave in.” She was literally jumping up and down. I could already tell she was going to make this a big deal.

“Say no more! If I find you a date you have to go on it okay?” She asked while tugging on my arm.

“I guess. I mean it depends on who it is. I have high standards you know!” She nodded and squealed. We left the building and made our way to the parking lot, Nora always had her brother pick her up after school, he went to college on the other side of town and I walked home. I only lived a few minutes from the school and I enjoyed the scenery.

“Want a ride El?” Nora’s brother Jake asked. I politely declined. I had to work this afternoon at the local book store. It was on down in town which was a 10 minute walk past my house. I didn’t want to make them go out of the way. The siblings pulled out of the lot and I began my journey towards the book store.

[veryfineday]

Tuesday 19 April 1831

10 40/..

1

x  +  N  N  +  V

Fahrenheit 52º at 11 and fine morning - incurred a cross just before getting up thinking of Vere  that would not do and then of [Pi-Mariana] - Dawdling and looKing over the maps of France and England - incline to going by Havre and Southamton, and thence to Richmond and London for a few hours -

not dressed till 12 10/.. - note from miss (arabella) Scott - madame Galvani lesson 34 from 12 1/2 to 1 40/.. - did nothing but chat - then wrote copy and note to Miss Scott  miss Scott apologizes for’venturing to bore you with a tale of my grievances’ - her father does not come so soon as she expected - wishes her ‘to go to London under some other protection’ - wishes to Know if I Know of any family going this weeK who would allow her to put herself under their protection etc. etc. 3 pp.pages of a full sized 1/2 sheet - is sure I shall have thought them very rude in not call, but they have been confined to the house ever since mr. Barton left them - mrs. Barton and the children and servants all ill -

wrote in answer (maKing it cover 3 pp.pages of 1/4 sheet and enclosed in envelope to ‘mademoiselle mademoiselle Scott Hotel de la Terrasse’) ‘my dear miss Scott -  Tho’ your note is dated yesterday, I only received it a couple of hours ago, and being at the moment particularly engaged, would not Keep your servant waiting - I regret exceedingly not Knowing any family or lady going to England this weeK - but if I hear of anyone’s going at all liKely to make your journey agreeable, I certainly will not forget you - nothing would give me greater pleasure than to be of the smallest use to you in any way - I am really very sorry to hear so indifferent an account of mrs. Barton and the children - Believe me, my dear miss Scott, very truly yours A Lister Tuesday 19 April 2 p.m.’ -

off at 2 - my aunt with me - en passant, left my note for miss Scott at the hotel de la Terrasse - at the college de France in 1/2 hour - waited - Lecture 30 (had missed Lecture 29 on Saturday 26 much thinKing there was to be none that day - monsieur Julliart told of it its having been excellent on the writings of Buffon) from 3 40/.. to 4 55/.. a sort of prospectus of the remainder of his course that he is going to give us - In returning drove to madame de la Croix no.18 rue des Vieux augustins and told her come Thursday morning between 8 and 9 - (to measure me for stays) 

1/2 hour at madame Contant’s, an ditto at madame Decante’s, and home at 6 1/2 - dinner at 7 - read the paper - came to my room at 8 35/.. - wrote all but the 1st four lines of today - sent to asK madame de Hagemann to come to us this evening - she came at 9 1/4 (at which hour went into the drwing room) and staid till 11 10/.. - Tea and coffee at 9 1/2 - the de H-s[Hagemanns] must be at home before the 26th and will be off from here on the 10th of next month - we are now really very good friends 

staid talKing to my aunt - came to my room at 11 3/4 at which hour Fahrenheit 52 1/2 and fine night - fine day till about 2 - then rain more or less for near a couple of hours - fine evening -