#i have been in paralysis. for months. why.

[static-channel]

Hiii I’m already almost done with playing mouthwashing after like 3 hours of having it but it’s late and I don’t want my demons to visit me in the middle of my sleep so I’ll finish it tomorrow. Good game tho

[homo-house]

i am losing. It

[nereidprinc3ss]

trolley problem

in which fem!reader has been gambling with her life and spencer reid is more than a little concerned

flangst, hurt/comfort warnings/tags: passive suicidal ideation from reader, she keeps risking her life, that really grinds Spencer’s gears, established relationship, existential dread, existential euphoria, lots of stuff about grief and death and self worth, not advocating for this, pretension from the author, blasphemy probably?, reader gets fuzzy from prescribed painkillers, arguing, hospital stuff, mention of sleep paralysis involving spiders, reader gets shot but she’s fineee, I pander to intro to philosophy takers, bau!reader, neurodivergent coded reader, if she’s not exactly like you I’m sorry, bean soup a/n: one day you’re in a writing slump literally the next you are in your notes app for six hours writing whatever the fuck this is but I think I love it even tho it’s weird and I hope u like it too!! btw this was gonna be called cotard's syndrome but then I never once talk abt cotard's but if u care that might be interesting context for the motif of not feeling human/alive, WC 3K

Spencer hasn’t spoken to you since the doctor left the room five minutes ago. 

The air is antiseptic as you take it deep into the hollows of your lungs and trap it there for a moment, trying to optimize oxygen intake without actually having to breathe very often. Hospital smell is as universal as it is suffocating. It reeks of everything but death—flowers, blood, bleach, vomit. A humiliating, desperate scramble to defy the very thing that defines mortality. It’s pathetic. It reminds you of the worst instances of failure and loss and denial in your life. It curdles your blood. Literally rots you from the inside out. 

You’ve had ample time to ponder that smell over the last few months because you keep ending up here, and some time ago you decided the institution of the hospital is inherently absurd. It’s stupid to think you could avoid the one absolute condition on your corporeal form: impermanence. It is the only thing that is promised, and people still waste their lives away running from it. It is the ultimate self-fulfilling prophecy. 

So around the time you acknowledged that hospitals are simply monuments to the self-importance of man, you gave up on trying too hard to preserve yourself. You’ve seen death too much and too often. You’ve tried staving it off with prayer and the miracles of modern medicine, and it never matters in the end because it’s all magical thinking anyway. All the wallowing and the bargaining and pleading never got you anywhere. 

You’ve accepted that from the moment you were born, you were marked for death. 

But you’re not a complete nihilist. You’re not even totally resigned to the abject certainty of death—because you’ve found a loophole.

Everyone has as many chances at escaping death as other people are willing to offer them at the cost of their own lives. Not many people are willing to make that trade—someone else’s life for their own—but you’ve decided you are. Because if not you, then who?

It’s not that you don’t see the value in your own life, as Spencer keeps making it sound. It’s just the opposite. You understand that you’ve got an extremely valuable resource, and you don’t just have to sit on it. There are things you can do. Choices you can make. Ways to defy death. 

Just… not yours. 

Or maybe you’re just in deep denial. 

Either way—this is a philosophy your boyfriend intentionally refuses to understand. He gets mad, or some kind of upset, every time you try to explain it. Usually he ends up leaving the room close to tears. You never feel good about it.

Right now he’s presumably trying to give you the silent treatment and not doing a very good job. 

“Stop holding your breath. Why are you—stop that.”

Spencer’s frowning, skin sallow and milk-blue under fluorescent lighting. Purple seeps from around his eyes like spilled wine on a white table cloth. Your stomach turns. 

“Sorry.”

He doesn’t tell you not to apologize. You don’t expect him to. 

“Why are you doing that? Does something hurt?”

Other than your entire bicep being on fire due to the 9 millimeter Luger it recently came into contact with?

“Not really. I just don’t like the smell of hospitals.”

At that, he gets stony again. Like, Medusa stony. You feel a tightening in your chest that has nothing to do with a lack of air. His arms are crossed. A silk lined blazer drapes over your lap, and you wonder if he’s cold in just that white button up. It’s translucent in this light, like onion skin, or maybe something less organic—the folds and wrinkles look like fabric, but lots of things look like something they aren’t. In the Pietá, Jesus lounges dead on his mother’s lap, his cheek pressed to her arm like either of them have warm flesh, and her skirts drape from her knees and fall to the ground in delicate folds just like Spencer’s jacket and looking at pictures of it you swear you could find comfort there too—but if you wanted to make space for yourself next to Jesus you’d have to do it with a chisel and mallet. You’re starting to think that’s what it’s going to take with Spencer, as well. 

“So stop walking into active gunfire. You’ll spend a lot less time here.”

Every deep sigh (of which there have been several) calcifies you further. Ironically, you never feel less alive than you do in a hospital. 

“I didn’t walk into active g—”

“I’m not debating it with you. It’s not a discussion.”

“So you’re just going to be pissed at me for the rest of forever? I mean, if it’s not a discussion—what are you gonna do? Break up with me?”

You feel yourself dripping poison in the well. Even as you say it. As his head tilts toward you slowly and intently from his spot against the wall, and his warning gaze is cold and unforgiving and weighs 3.35 tons.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Talk?”

“Don’t try and manipulate me by implying that there are no options between permissiveness and dumping you!”

“I’m not manipulating you. And I don’t need your permission to do anything.” 

The first part is an incredulous scoff as well as a blatant lie. You are manipulating him. Chisel and all. At least, you were trying to. It clearly doesn’t work very well. His jaw clenches.  

“Is this worth it to you? Fighting with me like we’re children solely so you don’t have to take accountability?”

“Accountability for what? I made a choice. I don’t regret it. You’re upset because I did my job.”

A beat. 

Silence always makes you feel the gravity of your words. 

“Do you believe that?”

His voice softens so much, so quickly, it splinters down the middle. 

You’ve never been known for your light touch. For someone who sees eviscerated bodies nearly every day, and prides herself on her evolved understanding of mortality, you often forget other people are not, in fact, impenetrable marble—they are flesh and blood and bone, and you’ve splattered yourself in the evidence of that. 

“What?” You murmur. You easily turn timid, when you’re afraid you’ve been too heavy-handed. Spencer’s seen you sob over the birds who hit the windowpane and never reappeared from the shrubbery—their delicate wings, their little beaks—he didn’t mean to, Spencer, and now he’s dead! He’s seen you spend forty minutes catching a spider with a cup and an envelope rather than smush it, even though you have reoccurring episodes of sleep paralysis wherein a giant arachnid is sitting on your chest, hissing and clacking its pincers. He knows you are, at your core, kind and good. 

It’s a little scary for someone to know that about you. It’s a little scary when you see your own vulnerability reflected in their eyes and the way they speak to you, the way you see it in him now. 

“Do you believe that the choices you make regarding your safety don’t concern me at all?”

“They’re… my choices to make,” you whisper, but you’re less sure than you were a minute ago. 

“I’m not talking about that—I’m talking about how it feels like you are trying to kill yourself every time we’re in the field.” His voice shakes. You swallow. “You have been hospitalized for four serious injuries sustained on the job in the past five months. Every time I bring it up, you—you talk about life like it’s optional for you. Like you’re not only willing to give it up but are actively looking to throw yourself in harm’s way every chance you get. You think that doesn’t terrify me?”

There’s a small chip in the paint on the wall next to him roughly the shape of Africa. 

“It’s not like that. I’m… I’m just having an unlucky streak.”

He snaps. 

“Luck isn’t going to get between you and a bullet. Ever.”

“It’s my job, Spencer.”

“No. It is a risk of the job. Not a defining feature or requirement. But you keep running toward gunfire like you have a quota to meet.”

“Spencer, I’m not doing it at you. I’m not trying to get myself hurt.”

“Well it doesn’t really feel like you’re trying to avoid it, either,” he shoots back immediately, and you feel the anguish radiating from him until it lodges in your own chest, like it was always yours. Maybe it was. 

You want to make it better, but you don’t know how, and even if you did, he’s pushing off the wall and crossing the room toward the door. 

“Where are you going?” You call, a little too desperately for your liking. 

“You need to eat something.”

Which translates roughly to he’s pissed and upset and he needs to leave the room. You’ve done this song and dance before. 

However, food and an absence of him are contenders for the absolute last two things you want right now. 

“Spencer, please don’t—”

But the door is already whooshing closed. 

You stare at the grey and white checkered floor. Light bounces off the waxen reflection—some sort of parallel universe you can’t reach, perhaps. The whole room is desaturated. A mechanical humming threatens to drive you insane. It doesn’t feel like a place for living humans. You’re not convinced you are one. 

When he comes back, maybe ten minutes later, nothing’s moved at all. In fact you’re not even sure you’ve been breathing. 

The door closes as quietly as it opens. 

This time, wordlessly, Spencer comes to you. You see his shoes first—his serious adult shoes. You wish he was wearing his Converse. 

Then you see the bottle of apple juice he’s cracking open for you. Blue lid. Same kind you always get. 

“You didn’t bring food.”

“You wouldn’t have eaten it.”

Fair enough. 

You take the bottle with your good arm and sip shallowly—all that adrenaline and the subsequent interpersonal strife has left you nauseous. The drink is too sweet. It clashes with the tang of metal in your mouth. 

Still, you drink enough to satisfy him, and then you’re tossing his jacket aside before balancing the bottle between your thighs so you can screw the lid back on. He doesn’t go back to the couch or his spot on the wall. 

Spencer doesn’t pull away when you lean into him, but it does take him a moment to reciprocate. You’re still grateful all the same when he cradles the back of your head to his stomach like you’re made of porcelain. 

“I don’t think you understand how upset I am,” he says quietly. 

Only Spencer Reid could be furious with you and still hold you like this. 

“I’m sorry,” you murmur. 

“That’s not good enough. You need to stop risking your life like that.”

He doesn’t get it. Your brows flutter as they try to furrow but even holding that expression saps you. Maybe the pain meds are finally kicking in. 

“I just wanna help people.”

“That doesn’t explain to me or justify your urge to do it at the cost of your own life. We all want to help people, angel. The whole team. That’s why we do what we do. But we don’t run into shootouts. We don’t split off and provoke people with guns when we’re unarmed and unprepared.”

“But it worked. She got away.” You feel a spark of fulfillment at the memory of Gloria Sanchez in JJ’s arms just before the ambulance doors had slammed you into your first cage of the night. 

“We don’t know if he was going to kill her. He might not’ve fired at all if you didn’t go running toward him. That wasn’t strategic, it was reckless and irresponsible and you know that. I know you do. So something else is going on.”

The pressure in your nose that usually precipitates tears comes as a surprise. 

“I just—if that’s how I can save someone, why shouldn’t I, you know? Why do they have less of a right to live than I do just because they’ve been deprived of the choice? If I have a choice, and they don’t, I should choose to… to help them. That’s my job.”

For a long moment, you listen to your own breath, muffled by Spencer’s shirt, and the mechanical humming, and something dripping, and the low, buzzy chatter of nurses far down the hallway.

When Spencer next speaks you get the sense he’s holding a lot back. His voice is taut enough it wavers slightly. Taut enough that if he weren’t speaking so quietly he might be yelling. It’s like pinpricks all over your body—not enough to hurt, but enough to make sure you’re paying attention. 

“You can’t help anyone if you’re dead. Do you understand me?”

And yes, in theory, you do. But that doesn’t negate your original point. It only takes one life or death moment for you to utilize the most valuable resource you have. What happens after is no longer your concern. 

“On the psych evals you helped develop it asks if you think it’s appropriate to sacrifice the one to save the many. The answer is supposed to be no. If you say yes you get flagged. The FBI frowns upon… lever-pullers. And that’s exactly what I’m doing if I let one person die when I could’ve potentially saved them.”

“Protecting your own life is not pulling the lever. What you’re doing isn’t smart or morally righteous. You’re just throwing yourself across the tracks, too. If you were to fail a psych eval right now it would be because you’re passively suicidal. And you know what? The FBI also tends to frown upon self-immolative delusions of grandeur and girls who like to play sacrificial lamb.”

“’M not a… sacrificial lamb…”

“No,” Spencer agrees quietly, stroking your hair. “You’re not.”

And you can’t react to the fragility in his voice, or the content of his words, and the fact that when he says it he means something different—you can’t do anything about it. You can only catalogue it. You can only know that he loves you, and feel a little guilty about it.

Some time passes. You don’t know how long he remains standing so you can doze against him. He does not smell like the hospital. He’s the antidote for whatever grief they distill from widows and orphans before aerosolizing it through the whole place. 

“Baby?” He asks eventually. You know the lilt of it. He’s been thinking. 

“Hm?”

He hesitates. 

“Can we talk about you maybe taking some time off of work?”

“You heard the boss,” you mumble. “I can’t come in for at least a week.”

“I mean beyond that.”

You intend to respond, but by the time you open your mouth you’ve lost the prompt in all the brain fog. 

“You’re so comfy,” you murmur dreamily. “Thank you for being mad at me.”

If he responds, you miss it. 

You’re imagining the bed waiting for you at home, once the doctor is done observing you—warm, neatly made. Blankets woven with soft fibers. A mattress that will sink under your weight. You think of Spencer, who’s shaping himself to you, Spencer, who intentionally inhales when you exhale at night to make room for the rise and fall of your chest against his. You think of the imprint of his buttons on your cheek. You are both flesh and blood and bone. 

Strange, pill-induced half dreams and visions and memories take over. You’re in that alleyway again. That man fires. You don’t blink or scream or feel. 

Just before the bullet makes contact you’re standing in front of the Pietá. It’s massive. Spencer is there, too, holding your hand. 

You can’t actually see him, only, you know he’s there. You feel his warmth, his presence, when he leans over to whisper in your ear. The way you know him goes beyond sight. 

The Pietá—meaning the pity, in English—is 6’7” and six feet wide. It weighs 6,700 pounds. Michelangelo had to quarry the block of marble himself. He was only 25 when he finished. The Basilica keeps it behind bulletproof glass. 

Jesus and Mary behind bullet proof glass. 

God. Who’d try to kill Jesus a third time? He’s already dead. 

Besides—they’re both made of stone. Bullets would probably just ping right off of them. Or maybe they’d shatter just like you did. 

Probably not though. You’re not actually made of marble. You’ve no idea what it feels like to be a statue and get shot at. You sure know how it feels as a human, though—and it feels like shit. You don’t really know why you keep doing it. None of your reasons are good enough for Spencer, and he’s, generally speaking, pretty smart about some things. 

Maybe you’re tired of being human.

Maybe you’re tired of sleeping on your arm funny and waking up to a hand in your bed that doesn’t feel like yours and remembering all the hands you’ve held moments before they couldn’t hold yours back. Or tired of those moments where you are being held and it’s so unbelievably perfect and then someone has to let go, or when someone you love hugs you goodbye and you realize that there will always be a final I love you, or simply getting older and watching potential life paths fall away like rotten fruit to the ground. Maybe life is sometimes so good it hurts and you can’t bear it. So you tempt fate. You walk a tightrope because even if you fall and it can’t ever feel good again—at least it can’t hurt either. At least you won’t lose anymore. 

And yet. 

It does feel good, sometimes. Sort of often, actually. Even when it’s awful. 

Dead Jesus and Mary, with their marble skin and their bulletproof glass and their holiness and their virginity and all the other things they have that you don’t. Nobody can hurt them anymore. Not ever. 

Maybe that’s something you envy.

But you doubt they’ve ever been so terribly, wonderfully alive as you’ve been, or as comfortable as you are like this, leaning into Spencer’s warmth and his softness, in the hospital, or the Vatican, or your dreams. Your bicep was ruined but it’s healing. You are capable of ruin and rebirth in the same lifetime. In the same day, in the same hour. 

You doubt that in 520 years, behind bulletproof glass and unyielding, eternally flawless skin, they’ve ever felt as invincible as you do now. 

You doubt they ever could. 

[astonmartinii]

bad blood (lando's version) | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem carlos ex!reader

band aid's don't fix bullet holes but his best friend might

based on this request:so reader is a famous model who’s also carlos ex (dated YEARS) and after the breakup he jumped straight to rebeca (we just need a tiny bit of bad blood). soo she and lando always got along, ever since carlos was in mclaren. the point is they get together and come hand in hand to a gp out of nowhere so drama and more bad blood surface - you can lead this to whatever you want hehe, thanks!!! - @lorenakaspersen

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

vogue

liked by hunterschafer, landonorris and 1,209,433 others

tagged: yourusername

vogue: y/n y/ln takes the cover for this month, where she talks re-discovering herself and giving yourself time to move on. copies in stores everywhere this friday.

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user1: i am once again asking how the fuck that man fumbled a bad bitch like her

user2: do not bring that man up here, he actually boils my blood

user3: honestly thank god they wear helmets in f1 cause if i saw his smug little face i may have smashed by tv

yourusername: thank you for having me hehehehhe xx

vogue: you dropped this queen 👑

user4: not vogue supporting her more than carlos ever did 🤨

user5: at least lando still supports her

user6: i'm glad the friends she made... i.e lando, charles, max, daniel, etc did also abandon her when carlos just dropped her

hunterschafer: you're the person i see in your dreams

yourusername: are you sure i'm not just your sleep paralysis demon?

hunterschafer: you're welcome to stalk mine dreams anytime

user7: how am i meant to care about f1 without y/n?

user8: she's the reason i learnt about the sport but at leats now i have an excuse to support someone else LOL

landonorris: tinkerbell looks a little bit different here

yourusername: i thought you were too old to watch peter pan?

landonorris: i just said that so you would think i'm a big macho man :(

yourusername: that is tragic

landonorris: can i interest you in a movie night some time soon then

yourusername: you might

user9: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ^^

user10: idk but i am excited

f1wagupdates

liked by user11, user12 and 4,032 others

f1wagsupdates: carlos sainz debuts his new girlfriend rebecca donaldson at the bahrain grand prix, just one month after breaking up with model y/n y/ln. sainz and y/ln were together for three years, and sainz was seen with donaldson for the first time just a week after the breakup.

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user13: lol the wag accounts are done with his ass

f1wagsupdates: i am a y/n y/ln stan first and foremost

user14: anyone see the absolute stink eye charles and lando gave carlos LOL

user15: that's the thing when you're together for so long, the friends get attached as well

user16: i mean if certified homie hopper charles leclerc is calling your bluff then you know you've fucked up

user17: i will never understand how he jumped into a relationship with her after three years ?? LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

user18: things like that make me glad i'm single

user19: the thing that is bothering me that no one has said yet is the fact that he's been with her what a month? and he's already brought her to a race when he made y/n wait months to go to a race?

user20: screams insecurity - like "look i have moved on, i'm an alpha male who can get whoever i want"

user21: i never understood why he didn't let her come to races for months when they first got together, like not even his home race?

user22: i've always got the vibe that he thought that he was better than her and that she was using him?

user23: the way if he ever posted her (which was not very often) he never tagged her

user24: which is ironic because she's one of the most celebrated models in recent history, she has millions more followers than him and has a bigger network than him, so really if anyone was using anyone it was carlos using her

user25: anyone else pulling for her to get with lando?

user26: i always thought they got on more in the videos of them all together but honestly i just want her to be happy

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,018,552 others

yourusername: not much going on recently

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user27: SHE'S SO HOT

user28: i need her to give me one chance please

charles_leclerc: are we still down for the road trip to lourdes?

yourusername: needed now more than ever

charles_leclerc: trust and believe

user29: charles and y/n friendship you mean so much to me

user30: need her to sit in charles' side of the garage

user31: mother went to the university of servington where she got a degree is cuntology with a minor in slaying the haus down

danielricciardo: miss ma'am, leave some for the rest of us

yourusername: why thank you good sir

danielricciardo: where do i procure a veil as such?

yourusername: i may source one for you if you promise not to shave that moustache

heidiberger: preach

user32: i bet carlos just thought everyone would just forget about y/n when he dropped her, but he forgot that she's probably more liked on the grid than he is LOL

landonorris: why are you staring into my soul like that

yourusername: why are you lurking in my comment section

landonorris: i thought we were friends :(

yourusername: always and forever

user33: but he wants it to be more

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo

user33: I SAW THAT LANDO X Y/N COMING SOON?

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 803,774 others

landonorris: hostess with the most-ess?

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user34: is that a ... WOMAN?

user35: he's saying he's a host ... maybe he's hosting a friend who is a girl, it's not illegal

user36: i get your sentiment, but that photo is straight out of the soft launch girlfriend pinterest boards

user37: well now i'm picturing lando scrolling through pinterest and asking ??? to recreate the pics 😭

carlossainz55: missing my golf partner, round this weekend? ⛳️

landonorris: let me check my schedule buddy 👍

user38: okay... well someone else tell me that they can feel the vibe shift

user39: it's their first online interaction after the breakup, i think we can guess who's side lando is on

oscarpiastri: someone needs to debrief me asap

landonorris: someone forgot that he owns a phone

oscarpiastri: needed the added pressure of the public call out to make you actually do it

landonorris: fine, but you get three questions and that's it

user40: if the call out was public can't we get the public answers

yourusername: are you coming for my job?

landonorris: you saying i could model 😊

yourusername: i'm definitely saying you should let me give my agent your number

landonorris: you already have my number babe

yourusername: okay pretty boy

user41: i need this type of nepotism in my life

user42: i need the nepotism and the sexual tension cause PHEW it is through the roof

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 2,760,521 others

yourusername: enjoy the picture of me fucking up a pretzel

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user46: okay where are the detective freaks from f1twt?

user47: reporting for duty 🫡

user46: what car is that?

user47: it looks strikingly similar to a jolly, but i don't know if that's just my brain pushing me to make it lando. but there is a florist in monaco that wraps their flowers just like that as well ....

user46: thank you for your service

danielricciardo: this is very ballerina core 🩰

yourusername: has the old man been spending time on the internet?

danielricciardo: yes he has 😃

yourusername: omg proud

danielricciardo: no but seriously how did you do it? it looks sick

yourusername: very fiddly, needed an extra pair of hands

danielricciardo: an extra pair of hands [wiggles eyebrows]

yourusername: did you just comment your own stage directions?

danielricciardo: funny 😄

user48: okay i am glad we're not being deprived of the y/n and daniel friendship.

landonorris: i am enjoying this picture of you fucking up a pretzel

yourusername: i am a whore for carbs

landonorris: i am a whore for you

this comment was deleted

landonorris: i am also a whore for carbs (don't tell jon)

maxverstappen1: 📸📸📸 saw that mister !!

landonorris: you didn't see NOTHING

user49: we saw everything. i am so disappointed in lando, he's carlos' bestfriend and he's doing this?

liked by carlossainz55

user50: oh i know this man aint speaking

f1teaandgossip

liked by user51, user52 and 10,945 others

ftteaandgossip: carlos sainz was caught liking this tweet about his ex girlfriend y/n y/ln and his (former?) best friend lando norris. what do you think?

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user53: the audacity of men never fails to astound me

user54: you know what, i feel like a guilty man only acts this bold. so i'm saying it. i think there was overlap between his relationship with y/n and his relationship with rebecca

user55: you're right and you should say it

user56: carlos got with rebecca within a WEEK of the end of a three year relationship but is angry that she's finally moving on after months ?

user57: for real the first sight of lando and y/n was after at least two months

user58: i know people will say she's in the wrong because it is lando but honestly carlos has no leg to stand on with him parading rebecca around the paddock

user59: i really couldn't give a fuck if lando is his best buddy you act like a fool expect to get treated like a fool

user60: also the whole "whoring around the grid" is so dumb. you mean her FRIENDS? you know the friends she had to make when you would just leave her in the paddock or ignore her at parties ?

user61: babe really thought he was more loved in the paddock and expected everyone to go along with his messiness

user62: men don't talk about women this way challenge

user63: imagine talking about a girl you were with for THREE tears like this

user64: i wish lando and y/n all the best and i hope they're together for a long time, she deserves a good man after all of this

user65: i have faith 🤞

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,109,413 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: sloppy seconds you say? i never come second with him. pun intended x

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user66: SERVE

user67: user67 found dead in her home, cause of death: this post

landonorris: what can i say i'm a giver 🤷‍♂️

yourusername: i'll say 😮‍💨

oscarpiastri: ENOUGH

landonorris: i thought you were happy for us oscar :(

oscarpiastri: i am !! i even took the second picture. but i think you forget that i am staying with you in monaco :/

yourusername: whoops my bad

landonorris: i swear my hospitality is usually better

yourusername: i can attest to his hospitality

oscarpiastri: STOP PLEASE STOP

user68: poor oscar being traumatised by y/n and lando 😭

carlossainz55: real mature

yourusername: how about instead of liking shady tweets and commenting on my instagram posts, you come confront me like a real fucking person.

carlossainz55: you'd love that wouldn't you

yourusername: i really would because if i said everything you needed to hear i'd be banned from this app

carlossainz55: you really are the gold digging slut my parents warned me about

landonorris: you will absolutely not talk to her that way. if you do so again we'll have a very real problem

carlossainz55: you have no sense of loyalty lando

landonorris: the call is coming from inside the house

user69: the girls are FIGHTING

comments on this post have been limited.

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,866,398 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: nothing better than a podium at home and time with family

view all comments

user72: the sky camera shady as fuck for cutting straight to y/n in the mclaren garage when carlos crashed LOL

user73: her and lando's dad trying not to laugh had me creasing

yourusername: beyond proud of you baby

landonorris: your support means everything pretty girl

yourusername: and your family are the loveliest, tell mama i said thank you for having me (and my sandwiches for the plane)

landonorris: she say's thank you and come back soon (i also want you to come home asap)

user74: he already refers to his house at their home

user75: and y/n has been accepted by the family - the sainzs could take notes

oscarpiastri: oscar piastri erasure

yourusername: sorry osc, you're our favourite pookie on the grid

landonorris: also mama made you sandwiches too

oscarpiastri: i know they were very yummy 😋

danielricciardo: HOLD ON, oscar is your favourite pookie, where am i ???

maxverstappen1: i think you'll find i am their favourite full stop

charles_leclerc: nuh uh it's clearly me

yourusername: i'll just say lando is my favourite

landonorris: and i'll say y/n is my favourite

yourusername: and that's that

danielricciardo: boooooooo.

maxverstappen1: cop out :(

charles_leclerc: 🍅🍅🍅

user76: i am so confused right now

yourusername

liked by bellahadid, landonorris and 3,109,766 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: you are in love, true love.

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user77: omg the letters? i swear there were letters in her first post after carlos took rebecca to the first race of the season

user78: wait so do you think they were from lando the whole time?

yourusername: yes they are from lando ! after the carlos stuff had somewhat died down he had them all delivered to me and it definitely swayed me for a first date

user79: but i thought some of those letters looked pretty old

landonorris: i won't deny that i liked y/n for a long time but i obviously couldn't express that so i put them in letters. an idiot was an idiot and i'll never not take my chance

user80: okay that makes this whole thing so much cuter

user81: y/n is the definition of never letting your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband

landonorris: you're my best friend and i love you so much

yourusername: i'd go through all this mess and all this heartbreak again if it meant i still end up with you

landonorris: but i'm by your side forever now you can't get rid of me

yourusername: i wouldn't dream of it

user82: lord i have seen it all, please bless me with a relationship like this

danielricciardo: god you people are ridiculously cute

oscarpiastri: just think yourself lucky that you no longer share a garage with them

landonorris: we're not THAT bad

oscarpiastri: i have working ears

yourusername: sorry not sorry osc x

fin.

note: hope you all enjoyed. i am dying trying to do 75 soft but i also signed up for burlesque class !!

[mellifexfarm]

News

My flock has contracted Marek's Disease.

Since 2019, after I brought home Lyra and Wren, my flock has been a closed flock. Meaning I take biosecurity very seriously, and opted to not bring any new chickens in or allow other poultry-keepers access to the yard where they are kept. The only birds that were added from 2019 until now have been from hatching eggs. There are a select few diseases that can pass from mother to egg, but not Marek's.

But within the past few weeks one chicken displayed symptoms of leg weakness and became unable to walk. I brought them indoors and started treating for vitamin deficiency, since that is by far the most common cause of sudden lameness in poultry. But she didn't get better, and then Lyra started walking unsteadily, and I knew something else was wrong. I suspected something was wrong with my feed and sent off a sample to get tested for mycotoxins, and switched feeds, because I know a lot of people have had issues with that lately. But then one morning I found Moss deceased in the coop, and it all kind of went downhill from there.

Sebrights are known for having extremely low resistance to disease. They are very inbred. It is the reason I lost Kip to fowl pox when everyone else recovered fine. And why all but one (her unnamed cockerel "emo" son) of the members of my flock who are descended from Lyra are affected. But none of the other tiny breeds I have, Seramas or Kikirkis, are known for being particularly disease resistant either. So. I am extremely cautious at jumping the gun and saying they wont be effected.

I sent off Moss's body for a necropsy on monday and got the results today, September 29th.

I do not know how this got into my flock. Our nextdoor neighbor got chickens a few months ago, but our birds don't have any direct contact. That is the only way I can think of.

There is a vaccine but it can only be administered to day old chicks. Vaccinating to prevent this was not an option.

It generally takes 4-10 weeks for the disease to develop after the chicken has been exposed, so it had to have been fairly recent. My flock has not been carrying this sub-clinically.

I genuinely don't know how this is going to go from here. There is no treatment for marek's disease. It is a virus. I have ordered a few herbal remedies with vague studies to back up some kind of efficacy helping reduce the damage the virus does and boost their immunity, but its mostly a crapshoot. The only good news I have with all this is that older birds are somewhat less likely to succumb to this disease. And the fact turkies and pigeons can't contract it.

The only birds displaying symptoms right now are Lyra, and Moss's unnamed pullet daughter.

Lyra is tentatively okay. I have crafted a sling for her, and she has been increasing in mobility over the last few days. She did not ever have full paralysis, so I am hopeful. Her daughter and Mouse, one of the younger keep-back pullets from this summers chicks, are the only casualties so far.

I'll be doing all that I can in terms of supportive care, but if any symptomatic birds get to the point I don't think they will recover from I will be euthanizing them. I will not be selling chickens anymore.

This disease has been a nightmare of mine for such a long time and now it is really happening. I am pretty crushed.

[mochalate]

[intro] new notification!

msby!atsumu x reader || w/c: 560 Atsumu discovers that the only thing worse than online dating, is dating advice online. a/n: oh look at that, another atsumu fic!! this one is less stressful for me though. its pretty short, with a cute little plot that won't cause me planning paralysis. making edits for atsumu is always so fun <3 i hope you'll read it!!

[chapter 1->]

r/relationship_advice • 3 hours ago

u/fattytuna95

I want to ask out my twin brother's girlfriend.

It's not as bad as it sounds. She's not really his girlfriend.

I'll try to explain.

We're colleagues, sort of. (Me and her— I'd rather starve to death than work for my brother.)

Last month, someone took a picture of us leaving the office. I was only walking her to her car but the person who took the picture wanted to imply that we were dating.

And that wouldn't have been an easy rumour for her to handle, so I got my brother (identical twin) to post a picture with her on his socials.

Obviously, just one picture wouldn't work to convince anyone, so they've been meeting up a couple times a week (they have similar interests, so they were friends already) to be seen together.

Now here's the issue— I never saw her like that before, and I thought it was just fucking annoying to watch people be lovey dovey, fake or not... but one of my other colleagues said it sounded like I was jealous.

And fuck, I am.

Do you think she'd be mad if I asked her out? I reacted pretty badly to the original picture. And I'm worried my brother likes her for real (those photos they're posting are kind of convincing...)

Edit: for everyone asking, no, I can't ask my brother. he'll know why, and if he really does like her I don't want to mess with it. and if he doesn't he won't let me hear the fucking end of it. i can hear the best man speech already.

↑ 25 ↓ •••

u/unicornpoodle • 2 hours ago

lol dude (I'm assuming you're a dude, unless you're a girl who unfortunately is built exactly like your brother) are you sure you like her and aren't just jealous of your brother being happy? fake or not

↑ 50 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago yeah i'm sure. I cut out a picture of one of my teammates and pasted it over his ugly mug and it made me even angrier. ↑ 35 ↓ •••

u/msbygirlie_13 • 2 hours ago

Oh hey!! I recognise you from the atsumu miya subreddit!! That's so cool you have a twin just like him!! And his brother got a gf recently too!!! (I think they're fr tho lol.)

Okay hmmm this is a tough one. wdym when yuo said 'reacted badly'??? and what was so bad about the rumour in the first place if it's an option for you now???? this is kinda weird ngl.

↑ 42 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 2 hours ago do you really they're the real deal??? I kind of laughed. And now that I look back at it, I think I might have looked way too eager to put it out there that we weren't dating. like I was disgusted or something. :( I wasn't, I just didn't want her to have any trouble. :( :( I'm sorry, I can't explain the situation any more for privacy reasons. ↑ 20 ↓ •••

u/guiltyassassin_ • 1 hour ago

well you don't have to talk to either of them... you said someone took the original photo. maybe they're still stalking?? ask them what they think?

lmfao you guys are either celebrities or highschoolers with this kinda drama

(also you keep calling your brother ugly, but then say you guys are identical? huh????)

↑ 5 ↓ •••

u/fattytuna95 • 55 minutes ago This is kind of an insane idea, but it does make sense. Maybe I'll do it. (and you wouldn't get it.) ↑ 2 ↓ •••

first chapter tomorrow! please like/reblog/reply/send me an ask if you enjoyed it :) it keeps me going lol [my other fics->] divider: @/cafekitsune

[bellybuttonbooks]

Hey guys. I’m writing an Ekko x Fem!OC fanfic on Wattpad. I have 31 chapters written so far, with 14 of them posted (the other 16 are in editing stage).

TITLE: The Sixth

SUMMARY: Shimmer is back. Two years after the war with Noxus has ended, a new gangster emerges within the undercity, now known as 'Zaun'.

Daunter is a ruthless chem-baron who has reformed the city's drug empire. He refloods the streets with shimmer and gains the title 'Silco's Heir'.

The Firelights are back in commission after two years of lax, taking down exports just like the days when Silco was still alive.

When the group arrives at an export and finds it already taken down with the barrels drained of shimmer, it becomes apparent that Daunter and his gang aren't the only ones they need to look out for. They had competition. Or... did they?

Ekko finds himself involved in a seemingly endless cat-and-mouse chase with another gang leader-a woman who moves like the wind. He wants to know what her motives are, but he has to catch her first.

LINK: https://www.wattpad.com/story/385476895?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=story_info&wp_page=story_details&wp_uname=bellybuttonbooks

COVER:

🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩🧩

SNIPPET OF CHAPTER ONE (not the full chapter):

- Zaun, two years after the conclusion of Arcane

"Fuck—"

It happened again. Their mission had been sabotaged, just like before. Someone had arrived before he and the Firelights had gotten there, Daunter's goons paralyzed and tied up, the barrels drained of shimmer.

Daunter was Zaun's newest chem baron—and currently it's biggest. He reintroduced shimmer to the Lanes, reflooding the streets with the purple drug.

After Silco had died and the undercity got caught up in a battle with Piltover and Noxus, shimmer had been mostly exterminated by Caitlyn and her enforcers. It still lingered in the black market, but mass exports ceased to exist. Until a few months ago, that is. Daunter crept in like slow-forming shadows caused by a rising moon. In increments so small that no one noticed until everything was drenched in its darkness.

This forced the Firelights back into action. But now, there seemed to be someone else who was intent on interrupting Daunter's operations. Ekko would have accepted the help if it wasn't for the fact that they'd taken the shimmer. He couldn't help but suspect that the culprit had ill intentions, and that put them at odds with the Firelights.

"Looks like we got competition," a distorted voice said from beside him.

Ekko turned his head to look at the masked face of Scar, a tall chirean who served as his Lieutenant and second in command. Chireans held bat-like appearances (minus the wings), with large ears, grey-toned skin, bat-like noses, and neon green eyes.

Both men stood atop a nearby roof, out of hearing distance of the restrained goons on the cargo airship.

"More like another enemy," Ekko responded.

Scar processed his leader's remark before speaking again. "You think they got bad intentions?"

"They're up to no good if they're stealing shimmer. Probably selling it themselves to make bank," he said pointedly.

Scar took in Ekko's words. It made sense and sounded like the most likely scenario. Though, one thing stood out to him.

"Why would they tie em' up? They already have em' paralyzed somehow. It's like they're leaving 'em here for someone to arrest or something."

Ekko considered this but had already thought up a reason. "The paralysis might not last long. Could be a precaution."

Scar nodded, agreeing that his reasoning seemed plausible.

"What should we do? Seems we keep missing 'em. Should we put out scouters across the city?"

Ekko exhaled through his nose, mulling over Scar's suggestion. It did sound like a good idea, but he had to also consider the risks. He didn't want to put his people in danger. This wouldn't be like their typical 'element of surprise' mission. This would involve spying, waiting, and watching—usually from the shadows to avoid detection. Despite this, Ekko had faith in the Firelights.

"Yeah. Could assign shifts. But we still need to keep most of our numbers back at the hideout in case of any surprise missions."

Scar agreed. Daunter was becoming more and more unpredictable, and there were times when they had to act quickly, creating plans with only hours to spare.

The conversation between the men ended there and Ekko mounted his aeroglider. He flew over to the transport ship and hopped off the board, sliding it behind his back to attach to the magnetic piece on his coat. He neared Daz, one of the newer Firelights.

Daz was a little on the shorter side, his body mass nothing impressive. But he was quick, and that made up for his size.

"You find anything useful? Anything they might've left behind?"

Daz stood from his crouching position. "Nothing. But this guy says that it was a bunch of people dressed in black wearing cloaks," he said.

The younger male nudged the oversized goon who was laying on the boarded floors of the airship with his booted foot.

Ekko's eyes narrowed in thought from the goon's revelation. He crouched down, deciding to take questioning the brute into his own hands.

"Did you see any faces? Anything?"

Daunter's ruffian shook his head, his double chin jigging as he did so.

"I was lucky to even see 'em in the first place. Bastards were quick as shit, bouncin' all over the place like a bunch 'a damn shimmer addicts."

Ekko stared down at the overweight man for a few moments before standing.

'Was it possible that whoever had done this was also consuming the drug to give themselves a physical advantage?'

Authoritative voices sounded from the distance, pulling him from his thoughts and signaling him and the other firelights that enforcers were nearby. Ekko yanked his aeroglider from behind his back once again, hopping onto it before instructing the other Firelights to follow him out of there.

[literary-motif]

I Hurt You

Asirel Cain x Reader

Asirel's curiosity costs you dearly.

Warnings: tranquillisers, syringes

Asirel was a curious person by nature. He longed to understand things to their very core, and vampires were such a fascinating mystery that he could not help himself but venture down a path of a little experimentation when he stumbled on a gem of information. 

Why you cranked your nose at the clear, faintly blue substance in his vial he did not know, but he wanted to find out. 

“Do you recognize the scent?” he asked, rummaging through the cupboard on the far end of the study and pulling out a sealed syringe. 

You eyed him wearily, sharp eyes following his every move. You could smell the curiosity on him, the wonder of how you would react to what you knew was a strong tranquilizer that would leave your mind hazy and limbs aching for the next week. It had not been designed to be pleasant, and despite your body being locked in paralysis, it had no numbing effect. 

Asirel turned towards you, syringe in hand, and you suppressed the urge to tackle him to the ground right there, tear the hateful object out of his grasp, and curse him for entertaining the idea of running his little experiments on you. 

You glared at him as he tipped the vial, filling the syringe with an amount that could knock you out for a year. 

“Are you serious?” you asked, hiding the shaking in your voice. You did not want to do this. You did not want to have that thing piercing you, a foreign substance cursing through your body that would hurt, simply for him to catalog it in one of his little notebooks. “What do you think you’re doing with that, Asirel?”

He tilted his head, a little annoyed at your protest. “Come on,” he said, clearing the siring of air. “I’ll be careful, I promise. Only a little. I want to know how this refined formula works.”

Oh, refined, was it?

You caught his wrist, looking up at him from your spot on the couch with a dark warning in your eyes. “Don’t,” you said, watching his jaw set.

“This does not work if you do not trust me,” he said, echoing the words he had told you months ago, when you had been caged behind bars, aftereffects of the very thing in his hands turning every breath into a painful nightmare. 

You were thankful to be free, well, as free as you were now. Asirel was good company most of the time. He kept you fed. He kept you entertained. The thought had occurred to you long ago, that you did not want to leave. You were comfortable here, the happiest you had been in a long while as this cautious work relationship between you both branched off into something more occasionally. 

You did not want to lose him over this. You did not want to disappoint him or give him the wrong impression because you did trust him — as hard as that was admitting to yourself. 

You trusted Asirel. 

“Fine,” you muttered, leaning back against the backrest and glancing towards the ceiling briefly before your gaze fixed on him again. You held out your arm, tugging up your sleeve. “Don’t overdo it.”

He took hold of your wrist, and your gaze found the ceiling again as you felt the wet cotton wiping down the crook of your arm. The piercing needle cut through it a moment later. 

You felt the tranquilizer immediately, scorching through your body like a liquid flame. You clenched your hand into a fist, fighting every instinct to pull away as you gasped. 

“How are you feeling?” you heard Asirel ask, his voice crystal clear, cutting through the rushing of blood you heard in your ears. Three minutes. You had about three minutes before it would pull you under, and knock you out for about twenty minutes. 

“On fire,” you told him truthfully, turning your head to look at him. You were not deluded enough to mistake the concentrated look on his face for concern — he was curious. “Burning. Feels like fire is eating me up, pulling me under.”

He nodded to himself, and to your horror, pushed the plunger further down. “Did the heat intensify?”

“Hurts,” you breathed, squirming in pain as the fire shot through you with renewed vigor. “Hurts, hurts.” A minute left now maybe. 

Asiel frowned. “Did you hear me?” he asked, leaning closer until your painfulled eyes fixed on him again, vision swimming. “Did the heat intensify?” 

You groaned, the low sound turning into a scream as you felt the fire licking at you again. Below the rushing of your own blood, and the static pulling taut around you, you thought you heard a surge in Asirel’s heartbeat. 

You were not sure if the panicked “Pet!” cutting through the room came from your imagination, or if Asirel realized he had pushed too far. Distantly, you realized the syringe was no longer buried in your skin. Distantly, you realized your hand had shot out to grip the little coffee table beside the couch. 

Distantly, you realized you had flung it at Asirel, successfully getting him to back off. 

You did not see his eyes widen, but you thought you heard his heart skip a beat again as he saw it approach.

He hissed in pain, the sound piercing through your haze as you realized you had hurt him. The thought did not sting. He had hurt you as well, the fire coursing through you turned into a haze of feeling that was only kept at bay by the rage his betrayal evoked in you. 

Blindly, you reached out a hand towards him, realizing you had gripped his throat only after you felt the fluttering beating of his heart under the pads of your fingers. He gasped, but you did not have time to take in the distinct scent of fear, nor wonder if your instincts followed the right course of action, before he smashed a needle into your heart, emptying the tranquilizer in an instant. 

Your grip loosened as your body went limp immediately. With your last conscious thought, you wondered how long the mixture would keep you under the surface. A day? A month? A year? 

Asirel gasped, cradling his throat as he looked down at your limp form, pretending he did not hear the strangled whimper of terror slipping past your throat, pretending he did not see the single tear leaking from your eye as the chemicals pulled you under. 

You Hurt Me

[spacedace]

So I don't know a whole lot about DC/Batman canon but I do recall seeing something about Tim trying to clone people (his parents? I'm unclear about what happened to them but I think remember seeing something about cloning) and I feel like there's some good opportunities for some dc x dp stuff there.

Like, don't get me wrong I love everything where Danny and/or Elle adopt Con, but consider:

Tim, waking up after passing out from sleep deprivation for the nth time that month, groggily becoming aware of some guy sitting - wait no, floating, he's crisscross applesauce a full foot above the bed - staring at him unblinking. And Tim has half a second to think this white haired, weird looking - is he green? He kinda looks his skin is green, and h's glowing a little? - guy is his (okay, he can admit it, pretty attractive) sleep paralysis demon before attractive-sllep-paralysis-demon gives him a terrifying smile - oh God that's way too many teeth and they are way too sharp and why is that doing something for him??? - and says:

"Oh good you're up! We can get started then."

And then pulls out a laptop from somewhere?? And turning it so that Tim can see there's a PowerPoint pulled up with "So You've Started Cloning People: The Ethics and Responsibilities of Creating and Caring for Your Clone Children (AKA: How Not to be a Total Fruitloop)" It's entirely in comic sans.

Danny is just happy that things are going better than when he tried to do this with that bald weirdo in Metropolis. Though at least he'd been able to snack on the guy's rock candy while he did his presentation there. Maybe cute-sleep-deprived guy would be down for breakfast after this, provided Danny doesn't have to body him for being a shitty Clone dad.

[softmangoes]

night visits | brahms heelshire x reader

18+ only

summary: you've been having trouble sleeping a month after you started working at the heelshire manor. it's time to figure out why.

includes: fem domme! reader, face sitting, teasing, a very subby and needy brahms

_

You felt it again. The hands. In the dream, they roamed over your body, tracing the curve of your shoulder, gliding over the smooth expanse of your abdomen, slowing only once they came to your inner thighs. You shuddered as icy fingers crept closer to the warmth there as if they wanted to gently pry you apart, make you pliable. What would happen, you wondered, if you were to spread your legs?

Before you could get an answer, your eyes snapped open to the emptiness of your room - which was quiet save for the usual rustling within the walls. In your groggy stupor, you realize that your blanket had been cast aside, leaving your legs bare to the cold winter air. Was the heater acting up again? You wondered, slightly annoyed. Sooner or later, you'd have to ask Malcom to find a way to get it checked.

But for now, you brought the covers over yourself and fell back asleep.

The dreams had started at the end of your first month at the manor. The Heelshires had just left for their vacation, telling you that they would be back soon once they had enough of the coastal air. By that time, you had just started to get used to the strange routine they had set for you, so your days would be spent lounging on the divan with a book in your hands as the sound of a piano floated from the record player across the room.

But on that first night, you could have sworn you felt someone touching your hair. It started out as a gentle prod, a delicate brush over the stray strands that had stuck to your cheek that soon turned into what felt like someone slowing running their fingers through your hair.

In the morning, you simply dismissed it as a dream. You were alone in the house, after all. Still, you squinted at yourself as you brushed your locks in front of the mirror.

It's an old house, you told yourself. Strange things happened all the time in old houses.

You looked at the doll sitting on the chair across the room. And this house was certainly no stranger to the unusual.

"Maybe it's sleep paralysis," your friend said, her voice crackly over the bad reception. "I used to get it all the time in college. I'd feel breathing on my neck and things trying to grab me."

Your eyebrows knitted together in disbelief. "You think so? I guess it makes sense - it's a little creepy being along without the old folks around," you said, tapping the spatula against your mouth. Malcom was due to stop by at any time with the weekly delivery of groceries and you still had to plan for dinner. "Well, what do I do, then?"

"You try to open your eyes," she said. "Or move your feet. It's your body that's asleep, so shifting yourself should wake you up."

Later that night, you kiss the doll to end your daily ritual.

"Good night, Brahms," you murmured, wrapping the blanket around him. "You better not be up to any trouble."

Maybe you were going crazy. Maybe it was sleep paralysis. Maybe it was all because you hadn't slept well in a while.

Whatever it was, sleep found you nestled in your blanket and took you easily.

Sometime, somewhere amid the realm that separated consciousness and slumber, you felt a hand slip between your thighs.

You stirred at the sensation of a palm sliding over your vulva and what felt like a thumb pressing against your clit.

Something strange was happening.

You opened your eyes slightly and saw the shape of a man outlined in the moonlight.

It's a dream, you thought, shutting your eyes. It's only a dream.

After a minute, the hand removed itself from your shorts and you heard a faint creaking and then the familiar rustling within the walls.

In the morning, you slid your hand under your panties and found yourself sticky with wetness.

"I don't know what's going on," you lamented, leaning back against the pillow. "For fuck's sake."

Your thoughts wandered to the man from your dream. His broad shoulders. The curls in his hair. His large hand grasping you, his cool fingertips pressing against your seam.

You had no idea if what you were going through was just a dream, but perhaps it could be your fantasy.

Slowly, your fingers moved through the slick and your core embered as you made gentle circles around your clit.

Perhaps moving for this job had been stressing you. Perhaps you weren't prepared for how weird this position turned out to be. Perhaps you were just in need of some sort of release.

"Fuck," you gasped as your hips bucked against your fingers. Your other hand fisted the sheets as your climax shuddered through you, sending little shocks from your clit to your thighs.

Satisfied, you rolled over and sighed, chest heaving from the exertion. Your eyes fell to a crack in the wall. In the back of your mind, you wondered whether or not you were truly alone.

Curious, you slipped your shorts back on and walked to the wall. You pressed your ear against the old plaster and heard the familiar creak of wood along with an exhalation that sounded a lot like breathing.

Smiling, you decided that you were going to try something new that night.

After you capped off your daily routine of taking care of the doll, you brought the covers over your chest and closed your eyes.

Instead of drifting off to sleep, you waited.

After a while, you heard a rustling sound come from near the dresser across the room and the creak of footsteps padding against the wooden floor.

There was a man in your room.

Fear would have been the expected emotion to come over you in such a situation, but you could only feel the static of anticipation dance across your skin.

His breathing was soft, as if muffled by something. Within just a few moments, you felt goosebumps prickle your arms as your blanket was moved aside, exposing you to the cool air.

You felt a weight shift the bed. He was trying to come closer to you - perhaps he was testing how bold he could be. Fingers tentatively slid beneath your shirt, feeling the expanse of your abdomen before settling to cup your bare breast.

You fought against an inhale at his touch and instead, you wrapped a hand around his wrist and opened your eyes to find yourself face to face with a porcelain mask.

Surprised, his eyes went wide and he let out a muffled yelp. You thought he would have fallen back to rush to whatever hole he had crawled out if you hadn't tightened your grip on his wrist and pulled him closer.

"More," you demanded. "I want you to touch me more."

You watched as his eyes flicked from your hand to your face as if nervous. A gulp resounded from his mask as he nodded quickly, squeezing your breast as you worked to unbutton your shirt.

"There," you said, the sides of your silk shirt draped haphazardly over your chest. "You like what you see?"

As if in reply to you, he moved closer to you. He was tall and strongly built, the fibers of his work shirt clinging to lean muscle. You figured that he could easily overpower you.

Maybe he would, if you told him to.

"Good boy," you said, shivering at his thumb grazing your nipple.

So this...must have been Brahms. The real Brahms. Somehow, you couldn't bring yourself to feel shocked. All you could feel was the hunger for him to lay his hands on you.

"Can I touch you?" You asked, looking at the soft curls that fell over his mask.

He paused before giving you another nod. You raised your hand and ran your fingers through his unruly curls, causing him to pant.

"Mmm," he rumbled, his eyes rolling back at the pleasure of your touch.

"You poor thing," you cooed, dragging your fingernails down the length of his nape. "How long have you been wanting this?"

With a swift motion, you wrapped your legs around him and flipped him onto his back. He gasped in surprise, his hands holding your thighs to steady him.

"How long, Brahms?" You pressed, raking a hand across his chest, eliciting another delicious groan from him. "Tell me."

"Ev-every night," he croaked, his voice hoarse with underuse. "Aft...after the first month."

With your palms pressed against his chest, you lowered yourself so that your face hovered just above his. His eyes, wild with shock, scanned you nervously.

"Every night," you said slowly, giving weight to each word. "I tucked you into bed. And for a month, you kept me from having a good night's sleep."

You moved to the shell of his left ear and whispered, "I'm going to take back everything you took from me. Do you understand?"

He nodded, this time even more quickly.

"Please," he said quietly, his eyes squeezed shut.

"First things first," you said, tucking your fingers underneath the edge of his mask. "I want to see more of you."

His hand curled around your wrist as he shook his head.

"Bad," he said, almost panicked. "Very bad."

"Don't you want to be good for me?" You teased, sliding a thumb across his smooth porcelain cheek. "A good little boy - just for me?"

"Mm," he said, his voice high with excitement. "Good," he continued, hooking his thumbs beneath his mask to lift it from his face. "Yes, good."

Malcom had told you that years ago, that there was a fire at the Heelshire house.

You saw the flames in the rippled scar tissue that was spread across the right half of Brahms' face.

"Bad?" He shook beneath you, eyes welling with tears. "I look...bad?"

"No," you said, cupping his scarred cheek. The silvery skin was smooth. Even with the burn, he was handsome. The soft curls. His bright eyes. The strong jawline. You brushed your mouth against his, feeling his warm breath on your face. "You've been a very good boy."

At your praise, he crushed his lips to yours - the action hungry and desperate as his wet tongue probed your mouth.

"Been," he panted in between breaths, bunching his hand in your hair. "I've been wanting to taste you."

You rocked your hips against his groin, causing him to moan against your mouth.

"Well?" You said, sinking your teeth at the hollow of his neck. "What do you think?"

"More," he gasped, his hands moving to the waistband of your shorts. "I want, ah, I want more of you."

Quickly, you slipped your shorts and underwear, tossing it aside.

Once you finally discarded your shirt, he marveled at the sight of your naked form.

"Please," he begged, his fingers pressing into your hips. His eyes were glazed with desire. "I want to...taste you."

Not wanting to deny him, you lifted yourself so that your thighs hovered above his face.

"Thank you," he said, his strong arms wrapping around you before pulling your pussy to his mouth.

You grabbed the headboard for stability as his cold tongue desperately lapped at your clit. When you tried to pull away, shuddering at the intensity of his hunger, Brahms only tightened his hold on you.

"I want," he stammered against your wetness. "I want you to, ah, say...say my name."

"Fuck," you grabbed his hair as your hips bucked against his mouth.

He groaned, his tongue exploring your slit. Thighs shaking, you had his name pressed against your teeth.

"Brahms," you whined, fucking yourself against his tongue. "I need more."

"Mm," he nodded as he traced small circles around your clit, your core tightening as the climax shuddered through you.

You moaned his name, thighs twitching with aftershocks until you leaned back and fell over beside him.

Next to you, he wiped at the slick on his face and licked it off his fingers, relishing the taste of you.

After a moment, he rolled to face you.

"The sounds you made," he murmured, hands roaming to your thighs. "So pretty," he continued, making the pads of his fingers wet with your honey. "Let me hear them."

You gasped as he slid two fingers into your warmth, feeling yourself stretch to accommodate him. It had been a long time since you had been touched like this, and all you could do was rock against him, your body still sensitive from the orgasm you had a few minutes earlier.

"Brahms," you clawed at his shirt, panting. "I want to make you feel good."

"Okay," he said softly, leaning back against the bed.

"Take off your shirt," you directed. Obediently, he slipped off his cardigan and top, revealing a lean chest covered in dark, curly hair.

"Cute," you said, straddling him, feeling the length of his excitement against your thigh.

"You think...I'm cute?" He blushed, raising a hand to cover his face.

It was so strange to think that he was almost frightening earlier this night, but so pliable for you now.

"So cute," you took his hand away from his face so you could kiss him deeply, your hips rocking slowly against his.

Against your mouth, he whimpered at the friction.

"It feels good," he groaned. The sound of it was almost guttural, like a growl. "More," he begged. "Please." He dug his fingers into your hips, grinding you against his cock.

"Brahms," you took his hands in yours. "Be a good boy and take the rest off."

With a nod, he slipped off his pants, revealing a rock-hard erection.

"Oh," you said, marveling at the size of it. "What a pretty thing." You teased, rubbing the tip along your seam. "Can you feel how wet I am for you?"

"Please," he panted, almost whining. "I'll be good. Just...let me take you."

You groaned as his head met your slick clit. "But you're being so good for me right now," you told him, bracing yourself against his chest as you teased him near your entrance.

"Please!" He cried, taking your hips and slamming you against his cock.

You gasped at the length of him, but you could barely brace yourself as he started bucking into you hard.

"I've been bad," he said, wrapping an arm around you to secure you to his body. His breath was hot against your chest as he bounced you.

"But I can be good for you," he wrapped his lips around your nipple, sucking on it gently as he worked at it with his tongue.

"Brahms," you moaned, grabbing his curls as he fucked you relentlessly.

"I want you," he licked. "I want you all to myself." His arms tightened around you.

You couldn't help but churn your hips against his. Fuck, it felt good.

You bit your lip as your core tightened. You were about to come.

"Kiss me," he growled, and you brought your mouth to his as the climax rocked through the both of you. Thighs shaking, you could feel him twitch inside of you.

With a sigh, he loosened his hold on you and you leaned against his chest.

"Was I...good?" He asked once his breathing began to slow, his voice quiet.

"Did I do good for you?"

You gave him a peck on the cheek - although from the look on his face, it seemed like he wanted more.

"It was amazing," you told him.

Eyes wet with tears, he wrapped his arms around you. "D-don't ever l-leave me," he said. "I don't...ever want you to leave me."

"Shush," you pressed a finger to his lips. "I don't know where you got that idea," you said, bringing your mouth to his neck. "I think I'd like to have you to myself for a long time."

[katealpha]

Art Comm by Momo

Camila, still relatively new to the Boiling Isles, nearly got lost finding her way to Eda’s house. The so called “Owl House”. It was hard enough waddling through this forest in such a…let’s say encumbered state of being. Just hours earlier, Camila woke up not just full term pregnant, but actually bigger than she was when she was getting ready to have Luz so many years ago.

Dressed in the same, now rather poorly fitting attire she wore as when she came here last time, Camila was determined to find answers. What was that creature who came to her doorstep last night. Who had this fellow mother so wounded and desperate that it came to give her unborn child to another? What was doing to happen from here? To her own body?

There were more questions not even at the top of her head, but Camila pressed on slowly, finding her way out of the tree line as she finally laid eyes on Eda’s home. It was in much better condition than it had been months prior. Once she reached the doorway, Camila took one last deep breath to prepare herself for what would happen next. It was hard for the now mother of three to imagine how Luz might react to seeing her own mother be so….big. There was no doubt in her mind that it wouldn’t strain their relationship. Luz was so mature and open minded, now that she’d saved the world.

Realizing something, Camila stopped short of the front door and thought aloud softly.

“What am I thinking? Me pregnant with a magical creature’s baby? Luz will be ecstatic the second she knows I’m okay. I think….” After one more moment of doubt, Camila simply swallowed it all down and knocked on the door.

A few agonizingly long seconds later, the door flung open to show a rather cross Eda.

“I don’t care who Raine’s new government sends! I am not….Camila?” The older looking witch stopped herself and looking the human in front of her up and down. Eda’s face flushed a little, causing Camila to vainly attempt to pull her black pumpkin shirt over the swollen expanse of her belly, which had even managed to break the button of her pants before she’d even crossed dimensions.

“Eda? Did you just, MOM?! What are you….” Luz came over from behind and when she laid her eyes on her mother and her now pregnant form, she froze like she’d had some sort of paralysis spell cast on her. Her jaw fell open. Camila gulped and only managed to give a heartfelt wave of her hand.

“Heh…hi Luz…and Eda. I know this is a lot to take in but-“

Luz pushed past Eda, her senses coming back quickly and her shock being replaced entirely with concern.

“What happened?? Are you okay? Are you like, actually pregnant??” The young witch gazed down at the large bump and rose her hand, hesitant to touch it.

Camila sighed and smiled gently. “I am. But I feel….alright. Really I do. You can touch it, baby.” She invited her daughter to feel her baby bump, and Luz did, brightly stroking the taut surface of her mother’s midriff. It managed to calm Luz down some.

“This is magic, right Eda?..” Luz looked back, uncertain.

Eda shook herself back to attention and nodded, stepping further outside. “It’s gotta be. Accelerated pregnancies just don’t happen normally. Especially not in the human realm.” She took Camila’s shoulder. “You do know what happened, right? Why don’t you come inside and sit down?”

Camila nodded her head, smiling sweetly at Eda. They had gotten to know one another a bit since Halloween’s earth shaking events, and it was safe to assume they were on friendly terms as Luz’s maternal figures. “I do. It’s a…hectic story. But there’s still a lot about all this I’m not sure about. Above all else though, I’ll preface by saying that I did agree to this. I just wasn’t expecting to wake up the next morning so…..”

Before either of the three present could think of a word to describe Camila’s current condition, Hooty blurted out a single word from behind the still open door.

“Fat?!”

Camila rose her brow, unamused. “I’m not THAT big…” A hand went to her belly, stroking it rather subconsciously.

After shooting a death glare towards the sound of Hooty’s voice, Eda looked back to Camila.

“Definitely not the word I’d use for you. Buuuut you could use change of clothes if you ask me. Looks like you can barely fit into that shirt, and I’m not even gonna mention..”

“I know.” Camila blushed and flicked at her open jeans. “They were fine until right before I walked into the portal. The button went through it before I did!” Camila sheepishly brushed her hair back, feeling quite embarrassed to be admitting this.

Luz took her mother’s hand and began to pull her into the house gently, wanting to speed things along. “We’ll get you some pants that fit and maybe I can make the shirt bigger. First we gotta know what happened.”

Once Camila was inside, the door shut again and she was directed towards the couch. Once sat down, she leaned back and stretched, then placed both hands atop her large belly. “Mmmmph bueno, that is much better. Okay, so, it all started last night…” Her gaze fell upon the two witches standing in front of her, and she began to recollect what happened that caused her to gain another child overnight….

To be continued.

[heartfullofleeches]

Is Tobi a ghost? Is that why they talk with emoticons? Why do they like ghost hunter reader? Sorry if I'm asking so many questions. Tobi's adorable, and I love them.

Sincerely, Femboy Creep's Sacrifice :)

Tobi is ...Tobi. No clue what he is exactly, but considering they have a physical form I don't think they're a ghost. Tobi rarely speaks because their voice has an arrangement of side effects on humans ranging from nosebleeds to paralysis to worse. The emoticons is because they mostly talk to Reader through texting/chat during their streams.

I think I forgot to tag it considering I couldn't find it in his tag, but a basic explanation as to why Tobi likes Ghost Hunter Reader is because Reader showed little fear during their first encounter. Before moving in with Reader Tobi lived in an abandoned house Reader explored as there had been strange sightings around the place for months following this disappearance of the previous family who lived there. Tobi's first camera actually belonged to the son of that family and it's where they got their name from.

Anyway, after majority of their encounters with "visitors" ended with them freaking out upon finding out someone was already there - it was a nice change of pace for Ghost Hunter Reader to confuse them for a fellow hunter and treat them with kindness. Tobi admires how willing Reader is to throw themselves into danger and that they're rare to judge a book by its cover. They love Reader's spirit and... Honestly what's there not to love? Tobi surely can't find anything. If you asked Tobi personally why they liked Reader their response would be-

:)

Which in Tobi speak is - "Just look at them and you'll see why - but don't actually do that or you might end up going missing."

[ellieluvr420]

Friends? Never. Pt.22 (Ellie Williams x reader)

MASTERLIST (and information about Palestine) Please read!

SYNOPSIS: You and Ellie had been bitter enemies for years now but before that you were best friends. You had always planned to be roommates one day but when that becomes a reality the situation isn't exactly how you both imagined it.

SMUT MDNI OR ILL BE YOUR SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON TONIGHT XOX

proofread kinda but this shit is like almost 9k words and i am tired so if there’s a mistake my apologies, will fix that tomorrow probs!

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧    

   

“Fuck I am so tired. I’ve been twenty for three weeks and I swear I’m deteriorating already.” 

“Ellie you are such a drama queen, you’re just tired because you actually ran laps with the group today.” Training with the group had been going well for the most part but watching Ellie come back breathless and rosy cheeked, though in better shape than the teenagers that followed after her, was the highlight for you. 

“Can’t believe you made me do that.” 

“You were being naughty and you know I don’t tolerate bad behaviour.” 

“I smacked your ass once and none of them even saw. You are so mean to me.” 

“Stop sulking, besides, would you have preferred to stay behind with Amber?” 

“Okay fair enough, how was that by the way?” Your mind cast back to the memory of your altercation with Amber and left a sour taste in your mouth.

“Amber, can you stay behind please?” 

“Why?” She snipped at you with a scowl. 

“Because I said so.” You grit as Ellie stifles a laugh. Ellie had been on a mission today to annoy you as much as humanely possible, lovingly but still, she had succeeded. She had done so well that she was now jogging away with the other trainees after you banished her. When they had all been doing target practise she snuck up behind you and landed a harsh slap on your ass that was so loud it was almost audible over the repetitive gunfire. You yelped and rubbed at the sore skin while sneering at her as she laughed.  

“Sorry babe, you know I love your ass too much to keep my hands off, you should’ve seen the way it jiggled.” She went to reach for it again but you slapped her hand away and huffed, only making her laugh more, you glanced at the group and when all of their heads remained facing away from you, you breathed a sigh of relief.  

“You are such a little shit, you’re running laps with the others while I talk to Amber.” 

“What?! No way.” 

“Yes way, I’ve had enough of you today.” 

“Oh come on babe don’t be like that.” 

“Too late and if you don’t go, no sex for a month.” 

“You’re joking.” 

“Wanna fuck around and find out?” She huffed and called the rest of the group over to announce the badly received news of their impending laps around the town. You almost regretted your decision when you were left alone with Amber, her attitude making you want to throttle it out of her. 

“I wanted to have a chat because I want to see what we can do to be better supporting you to get you up to standard for patrol.” 

“Excuse me? Why are you only asking me?” 

“This isn’t an attack Amber, this is for your safety but you aren’t progressing at the same rate as the others and I don’t want to see you fall behind.” 

“You’re just picking on me because you have it out for me so don’t give me all of that caring bullshit because I see right through it.” She hissed, you bit your tongue and took a deep breath, desperately trying to keep your cool. 

“Amber, your aim with a gun is nowhere near the standards of the others, you can’t hold your own in a fight even with one of the other girls, you struggle in the drills, you don’t understand tracking and you never know any of the answers to the questions we ask about survival tactics. I’m not picking on you, I’m stating a fact.” It was harsh but she needed to hear it. “I am willing, and so is Ellie, to put in extra hours with you to help but we can only help if you let us and stop being so stubborn.” 

“I’ll do the extra hours with Ellie but I’m not spending anymore time with you than I have to.” You snickered at her comment, a wave of insecurity crashing over her features. You’d happily let Ellie take her for the extra training, you trusted her with your life but then Amber would be getting her way and you just weren’t willing to let that happen. 

“Not gonna happen, nice try though.” You were going to leave it there but that eye roll and pout of her lip just sent you over the edge as you stormed over to her, closing the distance between you both. “Do you think I don’t notice your blatant flirting with my girlfriend? Do you think it’s going to get you anywhere? We live together, we have a child together, and when we go home together after training we laugh at your pathetic attempts on her. Stop being fucking delusional and get over yourself. I’m here to train you, not to be your friend so you either sort yourself out or I’ll tell Maria you’re not fit for patrol and she’ll find you some other boring job in Jackson.” She gulped and her eyes developed a glassy film. You had taken it too far but you were getting sick of her and she had just pushed you one too many times. “Now go home and come back tomorrow with a better fucking attitude because if you think I’m above kicking your ass you’re sorely mistaken. You saw how quick I took Harvey down, do you really think I wouldn’t crush you in a second?” She scowled at you before storming off, not quick enough that you didn’t see the fear in her eyes though. 

“Ugh she’s just- it was as expected. We argued, I scared the shit out of her and she ran away with her tail between her legs, she’ll be the exact same tomorrow. Same shit, different day.” 

“Damn, I don’t understand what her problem is.” 

“I do, she doesn’t like me because of us and because I have a position of authority over her, she’s the weakest of the group and it makes her insecure and I’m the only one that will call her out on it.” You eye Ellie pointedly as she smiles sheepishly. 

“I can take the next lecture, promise babe.” 

“Eh she won’t even listen to you because she’ll be too busy ogling you.” 

“Damn I’m feeling really objectified right now.” 

“Oh shut up, you love it.” 

“I only love the attention when it comes from you but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel good about myself.” She smiles smugly as she wraps an arm around your waist pulling you snug to her hip as she presses a kiss to your temple with a quiet chuckle. 

“Who would’ve thought I’d be the scary one out of us?” You chuckle but it dies in your throat as she quirks an eyebrow at you as if your question was entirely absurd. 

“Err everyone. You’re scary.” 

“I am not!” You pinch her side and she squirms away from you with a hiss. 

“You so are, it’s not a bad thing but you are terrifying. Do i need to remind you about you being a jailbird? My girlfriend is a convict, that’s scary, hot but scary.” You roll your eyes as the school comes into view and the bustle of parents awaiting their children is accompanied by the deafening squeals and yells of children bounding out of the gates like a stampede. You both stop and hold hands as you wait for Clem’s beaming face to come into view. 

You crane your neck looking for the strawberry blonde locks until they catch your eye causing a smile to grace your features. Ellie had already released your hand to kneel down in preparation for Clem’s leap into her arms that had become customary when you would pick her up. You both exchange looks of concern when her face remains angled towards the floor and she trudges over to you both dragging her feet. You immediately move towards her and bend down in front of her as Ellie joins you seconds later, cupping her cheeks you angle her face to meet yours and the sight sends shockwaves through you. Her face was red and blotchy, the remnants of tears evident all over her cheeks but what struck you both more was the slightly raised red mark on her cheek that looked like the precursor of a bruise.  

“Baby who did this to you?” Your voice was frantic as tears welled in your eyes at her sadness, it was the kind of sadness you hadn’t seen in her since the day you found her, the memory of that day cursed you and filled you with a rage you had never experienced before. She had been so excited for school this morning, it was show and tell and she had brought in a painting that her and Ellie had created with the watercolours you had gifted Ellie for her birthday, it was a replica of a polaroid taken on Ellie’s birthday of the three of you, Ellie holding Clem with her free arm around your waist as you all beamed at the camera. She had rushed you both out the door and practically skipped the whole way to school, babbling about how much she loved it and how interesting all her classes were and now she was sniffling and hurt, her entire demeanour oozing the pain she was in. You were so focused on the sorrow on her features you barely remembered asking her who caused her it until she answered you. 

“T-Timmy.” Her voice was meek and quiet, the opposite of how it typically was as she sniffled and wiped at her eyes before wincing as she accidentally pressed on the welt forming underneath.

“What happened kiddo?” Ellie’s voice was calm, unlike yours but the scowl on her face gave her true feelings away. 

“He made fun of me for having two mommies, so I told him he was ugly and smelly, because he is, then he hit me and pushed me in front of everyone. Please can we go home?” Every part of you wanted to chase Timmy and his parents down for what they had taught their child but Clem came first and she wanted to go home so that’s what you’d do. 

Clem perked up quick enough, after dancing to her favourite record with you both and doing some painting with Ellie while you prepared dinner, she seemed almost normal again though it was clear what happened today was playing on her mind as she looked up from the table with glassy eyes. 

“Why are people mean about you? I don’t understand, you’re the best mommies. Do they hate me?” 

“Oh baby, no one hates you, you’re our perfect angel, don’t ever have thoughts like that, ever, okay?” Ellie was the first to speak as she noticed the slight gape of your mouth though you snapped back into action when Clem turned to you expectantly. 

“Some people just don’t like that me and mama love each other. They don’t like that me and mama are young as well and we were so lucky to find you and make you a part of our family. They’re jealous and silly and I promise it’s nothing to do with you. I swear Timmy nor anyone is ever going to lay a finger on you again baby, some people are just silly and mean, do you understand?” She nods with a small smile before going back to eating as Ellie looks at you silently communicating the plan you knew you both had.  

“Clemmy, I’ve gotta go out for a little bit but I promise I’ll be back in time to say goodnight, okay?” Ellie stands and presses a kiss to Clem’s forehead as she strokes the soft hair on her head. 

“Okay Mama, I’ll miss you.” 

“Oh you know I’ll always miss you more.” You stand and follow Ellie to the door kissing her sweetly before she ducks out leaving you and Clem to start her bedtime routine alone. 

After her bath and three different books, Clem’s eyes were drooping and the yawn she tried and failed to hide was evident she’d be asleep soon. The sound of the door opening and closing let you relax and as Ellie walked in taking her place next to you at Clem’s bedside you smiled. She pressed a kiss to the girl's forehead. Clem cupped Ellie’s cheeks as she lazily opened her eyes smiling giddily, the love that was radiating from both of them warmed you, your heart sang, you could watch them forever and be perfectly happy with that. You were so wrapped up in your thoughts you didn’t notice them both turning to face you. 

“Can you both cuddle me until I fall asleep?” 

“Of course baby.” Ellie climbed over Clem’s body as you laid down on the other side of her. Clem cuddles into your chest as Ellie wraps her arm over the both of you, pulling you both in tighter to her. As Clem’s breathing slowed, you lifted your head slightly to look at Ellie who had been gently playing with Clem’s hair as she hummed a familiar tune to her. It reminded you of a time when your mother would sing the same song to you at bedtime. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 

Hush little baby don’t say a word 

Mama’s gonna buy you a mockingbird 

And if that mockingbird don’t sing 

Mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring 

And if that diamond ring turns brass 

Mama’s gonna buy you a looking glass 

And if that looking glass gets broke 

 Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat 

And if that billy goat doesn't pull 

 Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull 

And if that cart and bull turn over 

Mama's gonna buy you a dog named Rover 

And if that dog named Rover won't bark 

Mama's gonna buy you a horse and cart 

And if that horse and cart fall down 

well you'll still be the sweetest baby in town. 

“I love you Mommy.” 

“I love you too sweetie, I always will, sweet dreams.” Your father had read to you after they both gave you your nighttime bath, indulging in your childish play letting you splash at them until the water went cold and you began to shiver. You smiled up at your father as he kissed your forehead goodnight leaving your mum to sing you the same tune she always sang to you before bed. Sometimes you'd sing along and sometimes you'd just listen to her melodic voice as you let her tune coax you to sleep.

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 

The memory haunted you, it had always been such a fond one but now it burned your skin and stung your eyes. You pushed the thoughts to the back of your mind as you sang along to the tune Ellie was gently humming and you could feel the new memories being attached to the song that took the aching pain in your chest away as if it was never there. 

You and Ellie both sneak out of Clem’s room once she’s firmly asleep and walk downstairs to greet Dina and Jesse who were sat in your living room. 

“Thanks so much for watching her guys. We won’t be long.” You smile at them before going to slip your shoes on. As you return Ellie smiles grimly at you. 

“You ready?” 

“Fuck yeah.” Your eyebrows furrowed as the sudden fire ignited within you once again. 

“Oh I would be shitting myself if I was them right now.” Jesse laughed though it was clear he was serious. 

“Have fun going full mama bears on their asses!” Dina calls out to you as you both make your way out the front door and start the walk to Timmy’s house. You were never going to let his parents get away with teaching their child to be so hateful but you didn’t want Clem to see this side of you. 

Ellie knocked on their door and as it swung open revealing a disgruntled man you both pushed past him into his home without a word. 

“Erm excuse you, what do you think you’re doing?” 

“We want to have a chat Rick, get your wife and sit down.” Your voice was monotone and your face deadpan but his scowl did not fade and he remained unmoving. 

“Are you deaf? Get your wife and sit down.” Ellie repeated as she stepped closer to him, her face stony and her voice low and menacing. You watched as his face morphed into a picture of fear and it only made you smile, he scurried off returning with his wife, both seating themselves on their sofa, fidgeting and clearly unnerved. 

“I’m assuming the school told you what Timmy did today?” They nodded as a response to your question, their eyes flicking between you and Ellie. 

“Mm and I bet you couldn’t have been prouder right?” Their silence was adding fuel to the fire and as you observed Ellie pacing slowly beside you, it was clear she felt the same. 

“Listen, if you have a problem with us, we couldn’t care less. But if your issue with us ends with our child getting hurt again, then we need to do something about it.” Ellie's voice was calm as she came to stand over them. “If Timmy ever comes near Clem again, I promise you, you will be looking for a new place to live because I will hunt you both to the ends of the Earth. You’ll never be able to settle because I’ll always be just on your heels. Do you want that life for Timmy? Never knowing when he’d be left alone in the world because his parents hatred cost them their lives. This is your only warning. Keep your snotty little shit away from our Clem or we will make sure the last thing you see is us smiling over your bodies. Don’t give me an excuse to do it, because I’ll enjoy every last second of it.” Their faces drained of all their colour and the sight was exhilarating to you. Ellie was always so gentle with you and Clem so you rarely saw this side of her but the few reminders you got never failed to stick with you, knowing she was acting this way to protect Clem, it only warmed you more. She walked to the door leaving you scowling in front of them. 

“If you think Maria won’t be hearing of this, you’re wrong, expect a visit from her tomorrow. You’re the reason her niece's daughter was hurt today, she won’t take that lightly. I’d watch your backs if I were you.” You grinned as they visibly gulped before strolling off to meet Ellie at the door, her face matching yours. The walk back to your home was filled with childish giggles as you recounted the looks on their faces. 

Even as you walked through the door of your home to find Dina and Jesse cuddled up on the sofa, you still couldn’t stop giggling. 

“Assuming it went well then?” Jesse questioned with a quirk of his eyebrow. 

“Oh yeah you should’ve seen their faces. Ellie went all ‘ah I’m so scary, I’m gonna hunt you down aghhh’ it was amazing!” You mocked Ellie’s deep, raspy voice that she had used while speaking to Timmy’s parents before bursting into laughter once again. 

“I did not fucking sound like that! But it’s true, they shit their pants.” She looked smug as her chin raised to the air only causing you all to laugh more. You had been annoyed about yours and Ellie’s reputations after the few incidents over the past months that had painted you in a darker light but it served you both well today. 

“That’s our girls!” Dina was beaming at you both as they stood. 

“Thank you again for coming over on short notice. Did she wake up or anything?” 

“No no, she’s been out like a light. Don’t keep thanking us anyway, we can use all the practise we can get.” Jesse breathed out as he rocked on his heels. 

They said their goodbyes and left, leaving you and Ellie to collapse in bed, tired of the day. 

“I know I joked but you going all scary to protect Clemmy was super fucking hot.” You cupped Ellie’s cheeks as you softly rubbed your nose against hers before resting your foreheads together with a smile. 

“Hey it wasn’t just me, I heard what you said to them after I left the room. That was a nice touch.” 

“Why thank you.” You giggled softly before your face turned sour again. “I just can’t believe we’re having to deal with shit like this. I mean, Ellie, she got fucking hit today. How many homophobes are there in this stupid fucking town?” 

“I know, it’s ridiculous. This place is about as good as it gets and still, shit like this happens. I know what you mean about being done with it all but where do we even go you know?” 

“Well I was thinking about that, remember that farm we stayed at before we found Clem, how perfect it was, how pretty the stars were from up there, how good the sex we had up there was hmm?” You dropped your voice seductively causing her eyebrows to shoot up. “We never got to go back and lock it up because of our little bundle of joy but I was thinking maybe Joel could watch her for a day and then Dina and Jesse have her for the night so we can go have a look around and see if it’s a viable option for us. I love our family, more than anything and the more I think about it just being us up there, the more I warm up to the idea, but obviously it’s close enough that we can still see everyone regularly and be connected to Jackson, what do you think?” 

“Sounds fucking perfect babe. But I have one condition.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“We have sheep, lots of ‘em, and a cow or two maybe, oh and we get to take Shimmer and Greg with us. We should have chickens too.” 

“Sounds like more than one condition to me but I’m in.” 

“You are going to make the cutest farmer.” She smirks at you as your eyebrows furrow. 

“You’re going to be the farmer. I will sit pretty and watch you get your hands dirty.” 

“Oh will you now?” 

“Mhm you’re the one that wanted all the animals.” 

“Well I suppose that’s fair. Do you think Clem will want to go?” 

“El she’d follow you anyway, that girl has stars in her eyes when she looks at you. I think after today especially, she’ll be happy to go be farmers up in the hills.” 

“Ah! So we will be farmers. I knew you’d see it my way.” 

“You are ridiculous.” 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 

“Ellie look! It’s just up ahead, it looks fine oh my god I’m so excited!” You rushed out as you spurred Greg on towards the picturesque farmhouse that you had been dreaming about returning to since you left. 

“Oh fuck yeah and it’s only taken us like an hour and a half to get here with the horses, it feels so far but so close at the same time.” 

“I feel really fucking good about this babe!” 

“Me too.” Ellie hummed and as you approached the gate you sucked a breath in, praying it would open freely. 

“Ah!” You squealed as the gate swung open and you jumped off Greg barely managing to stop yourself from jumping about as you seemed one step closer to building a life there.  

“Okay let’s stay alert just in case, you wanna sweep the house or the barn?” Ellie sounded serious but her voice failed to hide the giddiness in her as she hopped off of Shimmer and pressed a hand to the small of your back. 

“Let’s do the barn together first so we can leave the horses in there and then go through the house, I wanna walk in there with you, this is a milestone!” You beamed causing her to chuckle and start leading you round the house and towards the barn. 

Once the barn had been cleared and the horses were happily grazing on some hay you both walked back round to the porch, you practically leaping up the stairs and dragging Ellie behind you but before you could reach for the doorknob she yanked you back into her and pressed kisses from just below your ear down to your shoulder blade, swaying you both gently. There was a gentle breeze whistling through the air and it smelled so fresh and crisp, the air felt so much more cleansing than in Jackson, every breath you took making you feel light and renewed. A small white butterfly flew around you both before disappearing into the powder blue sky that was dotted with pristine, white clouds. There were patches of daffodils all over the field amongst other splotches of colourful flowers creating the most beautiful landscape. 

“El come on- ah!” You were interrupted as Ellie lifted you bridal style into her arms and started fumbling with the door. “What are you doing?” You said through giggles. 

“Practising for the real thing.” She nudged the door open and as you both walked through hearing nothing but sweet, serene silence you both snapped your heads towards each other and smiled. You grabbed her cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss that felt like you were melting into each other before she gently put you down and walked you towards the dining room table opposite the front door, her lips never once leaving yours, it started tender as she explored your mouth with her tongue, lapping at yours slowly, but it soon grew hungry and desperate, the passion radiating off of both of you, she still tasted slightly minty from when she had brushed her teeth this morning and it cooled the growing heat slightly. Her hands grabbed and squeezed at any expanse of skin she could find as she groaned into your mouth, the sound making your knees weak, relying on her to keep you upright as she reduced you to a puddle of desperation with just her lips on yours. You could barely think straight, your mind being clouded, everything becoming hazy as she devoured you. As your thighs hit the back of the table she grabbed at them and lifted you to sit on the oak, pressing herself between your legs and gently grinding her hips into yours, you whined quietly and wrapped your legs tighter round her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to you while gripping onto her hair like she was anchoring you to this plane of existence. The friction of your cores rubbing together could’ve generated electricity, it felt like it was as the hair on the back of your neck stood and you shivered with need. Shockwaves of energy rippled through you as the temperature seemed to rise impossibly higher between you both until you each pulled away gasping for breath, a string of spit connecting your lips together like the tether wrapped around each of your hearts that had kept you closely bound to her since the day you met, even when you hadn’t spoken all those years, the tether still tugged you in her direction.  

Ellie bit her lip as she quickly unbuttoned your jeans and yanked them down your legs with your assistance licking her lips at the sight of the wet patch on your underwear. “Someone’s pent up huh? All this from a little kissing? Need to take better care of you don’t I babe?” 

“Mhm, quit stalling, I’m so wet it’s uncomfortable El, need you to clean me up.” She groaned at your words and immediately kneeled down on the floor wasting no time slipping your panties to the side and burying her face between your legs. You’d think she hadn’t eaten for days with the way she was sucking you dry, your clit throbbing in her lips as her fingers teased your entrance. She knew your body better than you did, not even having to search for the spongy spot inside of you that made your insides turn to liquid. It was so easy she was chuckling into you as your hips ground themselves into her. Her tongue was her paint brush and your pussy was her artwork as she swirled it around every inch of you, she’d swap from flattening her tongue and almost making out with your cunt to small kitten licks that had you keening and whimpering. Her fingers curled as they pumped in and out of you, each time she’d hit your g-spot you’d jolt and gasp, the feeling was so intense you wanted to squirm away but she had you tightly pulled against her with her free hand gripping onto your hip hard enough there’d be faint oval bruises in her hands absence. “Oh fuck, right there baby, I’m so close, shit-” With a long, harsh suckle on your clit, her tongue working circles around it at the same time, it seemed to be the only occasion where she could multi-task, your body tensed with your release, your hips bucking onto her fingers as you ride out your high. “Ah fuck- OW!” You suddenly exclaim cutting yourself off mid-moan. Ellie quickly jumped up to face you, her lips and chin shiny with your slick that looked comical against her panicked expression. 

“Babe what’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Fuck I’m sorry-” 

“No, no you didn’t do anything. You were fucking amazing but I- I think I got a splinter in my ass.” You admit shamefully. 

“No you fucking didn’t, oh my god turn around, let me see.” She couldn’t contain her laughter even as you frowned at her while hopping off the table and turning away from her. She pressed a hand to your back, bending you over the table and gently easing your underwear down your thighs as she inched close enough to your behind that you could feel her breath tickling your cheeks. 

“Ellie stop being a perv, is there a splinter?” 

“Ohh yeah, big one too, could see it from a mile away.” 

“Why is your nose practically touching my ass then?” 

“Because it’s really pretty.” You could practically hear the smirk in her voice before she made a sorrowful attempt at whistling that just sounded like air escaping through a slightly cracked window. You laughed and she smacked at your uninjured ass-cheek lightly. 

“Ellie! Get the fucking splinter out!” 

“Alright, alright. Ruining my fun you are.” 

“I’m gonna ruin you when this splinter is out of my ass.” 

“Is that a threat or a promise?” 

“Both you heathen now hurry up!” She chuckled before quickly but gently removing the splinter earning a satisfied hum from you as you returned upright and faced her, unamused at her childish glee while inspecting the splinter between her thumb and index finger. 

“So errr we should probably varnish this table or sand it or something before we move in here. Wouldn’t want Clem getting hurt.” Ellie declares. 

“Oh yeah this is sooo about Clem and not just you imagining railing me nine ways to sunday on here.” You raise your eyebrows at her, you knew Ellie was thinking about making sure Clem didn’t get any splinters, but you also knew that wasn’t the reason for her comment. You were the one that worried about things like that, she was the one that would throw Clem over her head high enough that you’d gasp and scold her for how close Clem’s head was to hitting the ceiling. You frowned as she seemed completely unphased by your remark only staring at the splinter still. 

“I’m keeping this, it’s a memento.” 

“Ellie so help me god-” 

“Relax babe, someone’s prickly.” She hunched over with laughter as you simply rolled your eyes and redressed yourself. 

“You’re so unfunny.” 

“Why are you always laughing then?” 

“I really don’t like you right now.” 

“Hey that’s not fair, I just made you cum in under like five minutes, that’s gotta be a record, be nice to me.” 

“I’ll be nice to you when you drop the fucking splinter.” Without hesitation she turned away from you and hurled the splinter towards the front door. 

“See, it’s gone, now kiss me woman.” She shut her eyes and puckered up her lips dramatically while making loud smooching sounds. 

“You’re lucky I love you.” 

“Doesn’t sound like kissing!” She sang before puckering her lips again to which you relented and pressed your lips against hers, smiling into the kiss as her arms wrapped around your waist. “Goddamn I love you.” You giggled as you stepped away from her and spun round the room, taking in everything you had missed in your frenzied state. So much had happened in such a short space of time but the house, the house looked like it was frozen, everything exactly as you remembered it from before. It just felt right, it felt like home. 

“So er now we’ve christened the place, how about we take a look around?” You suggested, the heat in your cheeks barely subsiding. 

“Oh yeah, I wanna christen each room before we go.” 

“You’re an animal.” She laughed as she followed you all throughout the house until you were in the kitchen, both gazing out of the window above the sink at the field that surrounded the property. The long grass was swaying in the wind, two doves landed on the fence in front of the window and their chirps were a melody you could listen to forever. The sun was beaming making everything look even more vibrant than it already did, the mountains creating the most beautiful backdrop. “Imagine teaching Clemmy all about the animals and how to grow fruit and vegetables in the sun, nothing but quiet all around.” As you spoke you could picture everything in your head like it was already reality. 

“And sitting outside at night, looking at all the stars, looking for constellations.” She spoke into your neck where her face was nestled, her arms wrapped around your front, swaying you both gently. 

“We can read together on the porch, bundle up in winter and have hot chocolate out there while we watch the snow fall.” You add. 

“Teach Clem how to ride the horses, the fields big enough.” 

“Yes! She’ll love running around with all the animals, I bet she’ll love the chickens.” You both chuckle at the notion. 

“She’s gonna make one her pet and then we’ll have a house chicken.” Ellie huffed as if she was already being faced with Clem’s puppy eyes as she clutches the clueless chicken to her chest begging for it to be her pet. 

“Bet she’ll call it Eggbert whether it’s a boy or a girl.” 

“That sounds like something I would do.” 

“That’s exactly my point.” You turn to face her over your shoulder and smile as she purses her lips and nods slowly, her eyes narrowing at your smug face before breaking out into the widest grin. 

“Babe I fucking love it here, I can picture our lives here and everything. You still want this?” She spins you to face her, the smile adorning her features would have been enough to convince you to jump off a cliff if that was what she wanted. 

“More than anything.” 

“Then, as long as Clemmy’s okay with it, we’re moving.” You squeal and press your lips against hers as she squeezes you against her, lifting you from the ground slightly and spinning you around until she staggered to a stop. “Oh fuck I’m dizzy.” She rests her hands on her knees and takes a few deep breaths that have her back visibly rising and falling causing you to chuckle at her playfulness. 

“Okay, we need to look at the fence, the water, the gas and the electric, I’ve got used to some comforts in Jackson that I’m not prepared to give up just yet.” 

“Let’s look at the fence because I don’t know who you think I am babe but I will have no clue about any of the other things.” Ellie stands upright once again, her hands finding their place on her hips as she tilts her head slightly at you. 

“Oh right me neither, that can be a job for Joel and Tommy.” 

“They’ve got their uses.” She grabs your hand and drags you back outside where you both just stand for a minute admiring the view. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 

“Look this can be Clemmy’s room! Maybe you could paint something on her wall for her El!” 

“Fuck yeah but come on you, it’s been a long day and we need our beauty sleep.” You groaned as Ellie ushered you towards the master bedroom, you just wanted to stay and keep fantasising, but Ellie was right, you were tired and you wanted to wake up bright and early to get back to Clementine tomorrow. 

You each slipped off your clothes, you climbed in bed as Ellie cracked the window slightly to let the cool, summer night air breeze into the room. The only sound that could be heard was the faint chirping of crickets and your breaths as you both settle into the bed, cuddling into one another. You looped your arms around Ellie’s waist and pressed your face into her chest as she softly scratched patterns into your back. Your legs entangled with each other's as your heartbeats synced, it was serene and you felt the calmest you had felt in as long as you could remember. It felt almost perfect, but you knew once Clem was here with you both it would be perfect. You breathed in, letting Ellie’s scent linger and blur your senses more as sleep dragged you further into its embrace, she had always smelt of fresh washing that had dried in the summer breeze, it was comforting, everything about her was comforting. Her soft skin moulding against yours, the steady rise and fall of her chest, the way she clutched onto you subconsciously, she was home to you, she was always home to you, even when you weren’t speaking for those years, she still offered the comfort you so desperately craved. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 

“Are you okay?” You didn’t have to look up to know who it was, her voice was etched into your brain, all you wanted to do was leap into her arms and clutch onto her, never letting go but you couldn’t. You had already pushed her away until your time together was blurring memories swirling around your head. You had pushed her away to keep your relationship with your parents but it still wasn’t enough, it was never enough for them. You swore they wanted nothing to do with you, banishing you out of the house because you had got into a fight and refused to divulge why. Ellie was why, and that would’ve only angered them more. 

You had been sitting in the park, reading a book when Petra and Suze had enclosed on you, sitting down by your side with smiles. “Hey bookworm, what ya reading?” Petra questions. 

“Persuasion by Jane Austen, it’s so good, romance books will always have a special place in my heart.” 

“Another romance book huh? We gotta get you out in the real world, Jason’s got his eye on you, you know, we could set you two up.” Suze quirked her eyebrow as you grimaced. 

“As much as that offer is so tempting, I’d rather stab myself in the eye repeatedly than go out with Jason.” 

“What? What’s wrong with him?” He’s a guy and he’s not Ellie, you missed her every minute of everyday, Petra and Suze were a nice distraction but they were nothing like Ellie, you just wanted Ellie. 

“I don’t know, I’m just not interested in him like that, he’s so full of himself, there wouldn’t be enough room in the relationship with me and his huge ego.” They both giggled at your harsh tone. 

“Well that’s fair.” Silence settled around you as you watched the scenery, people-watching had always been one of your favourite pass-times but you found yourself doing it more now you were constantly searching for the auburn hair you used to run your fingers through, you had convinced yourself you’d seen her this time, that wasn’t a part of your imagination like it often was but Petra’s words confirmed you had actually been seeing her this time. 

“Ugh there goes the town dyke. God she’s so fucking weird.” 

“I know right, why would they even let her in? Throw her to the wolves I say.” Suze snickered and everything went red, your ears rang and your vision blurred, you only remember being yanked off of Suze as Petra lay just a foot away wheezing and coughing, cursing you under her breath. 

Your parents had screamed, thrown things at you, yanked you by their iron grip around your wrists to barricade you in your room when you refused to explain why you had so viciously attacked the girls that were supposed to be your friends. You sobbed and sobbed until you heard your dad shifting whatever he had used to keep your bedroom door shut tightly. He didn’t speak, didn’t look you in the eye, just dragged you out of your room and straight outside where he shut the door after uttering. “Find somewhere else to sleep tonight.” That was it. You were on your own and the rain that started to pour from the heavens mirrored your mood as you wandered aimlessly until your legs grew weak and you collapsed by a tree, desperately hoping it would shelter you from the torrential downpour. 

“Hey I said are you okay?” Ellie nudged your shoe with hers as you sniffled and spared a glance up at her only to bury your head back into your knees that you were holding to your chest with a small shake of your head. “Why are you outside in this weather? You’re gonna get sick. Go home.” Her tone wasn’t nasty but it wasn’t soft and sweet like it used to be with you, it was a slap on the cheek that you thoroughly deserved. 

“I can’t” You weakly whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear, she kneeled down and stroked a hand down your hair, beckoning you to meet her worried gaze. 

“They kick you out again?” 

“Mhm.” 

“What was the reason this time?” 

“I fucked up Petra and Suze and I wouldn’t tell them why, they love Petra and Suze more than me so they’re really pissed.” 

“Why’d you fight them?” 

“Doesn’t matter.” You wouldn’t meet her eyes, you just stared off into the distance, occasionally hiccupping as a result of your sobbing. 

“Get up.” 

“Just leave me alone please Ellie.” She was too painful of a reminder of how alone you were, you’d rather be actually alone than in her presence. 

“Just get up, c’mon. You’re not sleeping out here tonight. If you get struck by lightning I’ll feel kinda responsible.” Her tone was lighter than it had been and you chuckled slightly as you took her hand and let her pull you from the ground, immediately turning on her heel and letting you trail along behind her back to her home. You considered just disappearing from your place behind her, you doubted that she would notice before you were long gone as she seemed to avoid looking at you like she’d turn to stone if she did. 

Her garage was exactly as you’d remembered it with a couple new additions to the trinkets that littered every surface and wall. You had always loved it here, it was so much more inviting than your home. You used to let yourself in and immediately flop down on her sofa like you owned the place but now you just stood by the door, shivering and fidgeting unsure of what to do from here. Ellie was busy at her makeshift kitchen, milling through cupboards and drawers. 

“Have you eaten?” She turned to face you for the first time since she had found you and frowned at your uncomfortable demeanour. “Just sit down or something, you’re making me feel weird just looking at you.” She snapped, immediately regretting it as you flinched and dragged yourself to the sofa like she’d throw you out if you hadn’t. “Sorry, have you eaten?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“That’s not what I asked though is it? Have you eaten? Yes or no?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Fucking liar.” She bit her lip as your eyes flashed to hers, guilt painted all over your features. She couldn’t see you like this, it was too hard to not just wrap you in her arms and tell you everything would be okay, that she’s here for you, you wouldn’t let her do that and she couldn’t let herself so she just turned back towards the kitchenette and began making some dinner for you both. “You know where my clothes are, don’t sit in those wet clothes, if you wanna take a shower to warm up you can.” 

“I’m-” 

“For fuck’s sake can you stop being so fucking stubborn and just take care of yourself? Go warm up and put on some dry clothes.” She sniped leading you to rush away from her and into the bathroom without another word. “Shit.” She muttered as the bathroom door slammed shut, she was kicking you while you were down and she felt horrible but she couldn’t control herself around you, if she could she would’ve pretended she hadn’t seen you earlier and kept walking. She heard the shower turn on and faintly through the pattering of the water she heard sniffles and choked sobs that led her to press her ear to the door trying to listen in closer. It was clear as day, the sound of your sobs that you thought the shower muffled, her heart clenched and her skin itched as it felt like it was constricting around her, choking the air out of her. She stayed at the door, just listening, she knew she should’ve given you privacy but she felt glued to the wood separating you both, she only moved when the sound of the soup bubbling beckoned her over to turn the heat on the cooker down. She went to go back to the door but the sound of the shower turning off sent her leaping in the complete opposite direction, sitting at her desk and forcing herself to keep her eyes planted on the comic that had been resting atop as you walked out in a towel, her towel and shuffled over to the drawers where she kept her pyjamas.  

She dished up the soup and handed you a bowl wordlessly before going back to the desk to eat hers, the tension was palpable between the both of you, the only sound filling the room being small metallic clinks of your spoons hitting the bowls over and over again as you scraped the remnants of the soup from the bowl. “Sorry it’s not much.” 

“Thank you Ellie.” You walked over to her and took her bowl going to the sink to wash them up for her, it was the least you could do. 

“You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

“No I’m not taking your bed too.” 

“Just-” She went to snap but sucked in a breath and calmed herself down. “Just take the bed, please.” You breathed deeply before nodding your head and skulking over to the bed where you had once stayed almost every other night, climbing in cautiously, subconsciously crawling over to ‘your’ side of the bed. 

“Thanks, night Ellie.” 

“Night.” It didn’t take long for sleep to overtake you, you were exhausted and your head was pounding, sleep providing the much-needed reprieve from the emotions of the day. 

The first thing your eyes focused on as you woke was Ellie’s sleeping form on the sofa, curled up under a blanket, her face was peaceful, washed of the scowl that typically took over her features around you now. Suddenly everything hit you like a brick and it felt like the air was getting sucked out of you as you rushed to change back into your clothes and get out of there as quickly and as quietly as possible. You were out of the door in under five minutes and the guilt only weighed you down with every step you took away from Ellie. She had been kind and helped you in a time of need and you ran off without a word. You didn’t know what you would say, how you could face her, it was too painful, going back to your home and facing the wrath of your parents would be kinder to your heart than staying with Ellie any longer. 

Ellie woke, eyes immediately scanning the room for you but as soon as she noticed you were gone without a warning, without a goodbye, she felt like she was losing you all over again and her eyes welled with tears as she pressed her face into her palms and cried softly. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ 

“Hi baby! Oh we missed you, did you have fun with Uncle Jesse and Auntie Dina?” You squeezed Clem to your chest until you heard a little squeak leave her lips prompting you to release her and tuck a loose strand of her soft waves behind her ear. 

“Yes! Uncle Jesse showed me how to play catch and Auntie Dina helped me make cookies, I have some to bring home!” Clem beamed before Ellie scooped her up and spun her around, eliciting giggles from the small girl. 

“Aren’t you a lucky girl? Say thank you kiddo.” Ellie pressed a sweet kiss to Clem’s cheek as she propped her on her hip and bounced her slightly. 

“Thank you! You guys are the best.” Clem’s happiness rubbed off on all of you as you all chuckled. You both thanked them profusely before leaving to go to Joel’s, you wanted to thank him in person also and you needed to discuss the move with him. 

As you walked, Clem in the middle of you both, gripping onto your hands, she rambled and rambled about her time away from you both until she hummed quietly, signalling she was done. “Can you swing me? Can we swing? Can we, can we? Pleaseee.” You and Ellie both smiled at her before swinging her into the air from her arms. She’d do a jump into it each time and giggled sweetly as she soared through the air between you both. By the time you reached Joel’s, yours and Ellie’s arms ached and Clem seemed tired and subdued, her tiredness only being confirmed as you entered Joel’s and she immediately took herself to the sofa to lay down instead of running straight outside to her playset. 

“Hi Joel, thanks so much for watching her yesterday. Didn’t give you too much trouble did she?” 

“Oh not at all, she was an angel as always, how was your trip?” You and Ellie glanced at each other before beaming at him. 

“It was perfect, you gotta see this house Joel, it’s a farmhouse with a fence around the property that’s completely intact, it’s got a barn, and the house has a wraparound porch, the view is amazing, it’s perfect.” Ellie rushed out as she sat at his dining table where he had already situated himself. 

“So you wanna move there?” You both nodded hesitantly, anticipating his reaction. “Well me and Tommy will have to get up there, have a look and see if it’s functional, but if ya wanna do this and it’ll make ya happy, I support ya. I heard what happened to Clem the other day.” He didn’t have to finish his sentence, you all understood what he was saying. It seemed you had outgrown Jackson and he wanted you to be happy, he wanted Clem to be happy and carefree. “We’ll all pitch in and get ya up there.” 

“Thank you Joel, we can’t tell you how much we appreciate this.” Your voice croaked slightly as you tried to hold in the tears of joy that welled in your eyes. 

“Well I can see this makes ya happy and that’s all I want.” 

“You’re really something old man.” Ellie chuckled, a smile so wide you expected her cheeks to ache as she looked between you and him, grabbing your hand and squeezing.  

“You told Clemmy yet?” 

“No actually, we wanted to speak to you first before we told her but we’ll talk to her about it today.” Ellie replied. 

“I’m sure she’ll jump at the idea.” 

“That’s what I said.” You looked to the girl dozing on the sofa as you spoke and everything felt like it was falling into place, your life being mapped out in front of you, the sight making your body buzz with excitement. 

tags: @emiliabby@readbydayana@radioheadfan699@lil-elliesgf@isitadinosaur@amberputh@maelovescashew@a-little-bit-of-everybody@moonspowder@bready101

[lizaaardstuff]

Hellebores (shattered)

Hey guys, I’ve decided to try something a little new. This is a fic I’ve been working on for the last month now, and I wanted to share a small snippet of the beginning with you guys since it’ll be a bit longer before I’m able to post it on ao3.

This is a Donnie centric story that will take place after the invasion (like my other fanfic), but the beginning kicks off during the end battle.

⚠️Trigger warning for this fic will include: Major Character Injury, Permanent Injury, Paralysis, Internalized Ablism, PTSD, Medical Stuff; you know, the works.

Please let me know your thoughts once you’ve read this, I’d love to hear them <3

Word count: 1,845

———

Being apart of the Technodrome was... incredible. Being so wholly welcomed into such vast knowledge and power was thrilling- world changing. He was everything. He was everywhere. Nothing was out of his reach. He could feel the space in his head expand, his senses heightened to new levels, and as long as he ignored the pain in his shell and the prickling in his limbs and the pressure in his head, he would describe this as the best experience of his life. Truly, nothing could ever compare.

And then he was ripped out.

Violently.

Without any care to what it would do to him.

And suddenly the greatest experience of his life had turned into a living nightmare. He had never felt pain like this before, and not a second too soon, he blacks out.

———

"...nie!"

"Donnie, wake up!"

Donnie's eyes blearily crack open, dizzying colors invade his senses, and he fights the urge to close them again. He can hear himself wheezing, struggling to take in a full breath. He feels his head dipping down towards his chest, and he realizes he's being held up. Blinking to try to clear the haze from his vision, he looks around to his brothers, who are all being held up by the same gooey Krang matter. Donnie almost does a double take when he sees Raph, with the Krang's influence gone, but he doesn't even get a second to revel in this new development, because Leo and Mikey are suddenly yelling for him again.

"Donnie, c'mon, you have to fight it!" Leo shouts from across the room. A flash of blue lights up the room, and Donnie can feel the electricity of his brothers ninpō light up in his chest. And now that he's focusing on it, he can feel Raph's ninpō there too, strong and steady. Feeling that spark ignites something within his own kindling, and when Mikey's ninpō joins the mix, that's all the push Donnie needs before a beam of striking purple joins the cacophony.

There's yelling, but Donnie's ears are ringing, and everything sounds like it's happening behind a wall of cotton. He sees everyone's ninpō burning away the Krang matter that was holding them up, and he assumes the same was happening to him, but he could barely feel it.

Donnie drags in a breath, feeling like he was breathing through a straw, and uses all of his strength to lift up his right arm to pull at the Krang gunk that was pulling at his neck. If I could just get a moment to catch my breath...

And then the Krang matter is gone, and he's falling.

Donnie lands hard on his side, pain flaring through the upper part of his spine and echoing out across his chest, and the impact forces a weak cough out of him that takes away the little bit of air he had managed to gain in his lungs.

"Donnie!" he hears from above, but his eyes are slipping shut again, his energy spent.

There's a soft thud next to him, and a gentle hand on the side of his face. "Donnie, open your eyes man, please. C'mon, just open your eyes."

Leo.

Donnie slowly peels open his eyes again, despite how badly he wanted to just let them remain closed. Because Leo asked nicely.

Donnie drags in another breath.

Why is it still so hard to breathe?

"There you are," Leo sighs, a confusing mix of worry and relief painted on his face.

Donnie hears quick footsteps behind him and a soft gasp, "his shell," "oh Donnie," but when he tries to turn his head to see who's talking, Leo's hand that was still on his face presses down lightly to keep his head in place. "Don't move."

Donnie's head is starting to feel light from the lack of oxygen.

"Oh my god, Leo, what do we do." Mikey. That's Mikey. Donnie's fingers twitch against the ground as he tries once again to turn his head to see his baby brother, but Leo's hand remains firm.

"We have to move." Raph. His big brother is here too. Wait...

Donnie's already unsteady breathing halts, his eyes going wide. "Wait," he croaks out, all eyes turning back on him, "if you're all here... the Krang." Donnie's words slur, and his sentence ends in another wheezing breath.

The others share a confused look above him. Leo looks back down to meet Donnie's eyes, gently taking his hand with the one that wasn't securing the softshell's head. But Donnie could barely feel it. Everything felt so disconnected and muffled. Shock, maybe.

"Donnie," Leo says sharply, like he'd been calling his name a few times. Donnie drags his eyes back up to Leo, blinking through another round of haze. "Donnie, you're holding them off. Or, at least I'm assuming it's you. There's a big purple dome around us, and you're glowing, so..."

Huh?

"Leo," Raph says urgently from wherever he is. Donnie still can't see him or Mikey. If only I could just sit up... "We still need to get the Krang through that portal." There's hesitation in his voice, and Donnie wishes he could see his face.

"I know!" Leo snaps, voice trembling and eyes brimming with overwhelmed tears. It felt so unlike him. He'd only seen Leo make that face a few times in their lifetime, and most of what he could count were from the last 24 hours. Donnie focuses solely on flexing his fingers around Leo's hand, and Leo squeezes back automatically, looking back down at him but still talking to Raph. "I know, but- we can't move him like this."

"Leo, we can't stay here," Donnie hears Mikey say from somewhere above him.

Donnie watches as a tear rolls down Leo's cheek, catching the purple lighting of Donnie's ninpō. Then Leo squares his shoulders and his face hardens, eyes glancing up to meet the others above him, and Donnie knows that he's come to a decision.

"Raph, in a few minutes I'm going to need you to pick up Dee. As carefully as you possibly can. I'll portal you down to a safe spot. Donnie actually managed to get the ship pretty close to the portal before the Krang grabbed him and Mikey, so all Mikey and I have to do is push the big guy through. I need you to watch Dee, if you can find anything hard and flat to lay him on once you're down there, that would be best. Make sure he doesn't move." Good, Donnie thinks as he listens to his twin slip back into his leader voice, Leo's got this covered. Donnie can feel his eyes slipping shut again right as Leo's eyes shift back over to him. "Dee, look at me, I need you to focus."

Donnie would have rolled his eyes at the slider if he wasn't feeling so sluggish. Instead, he tries to hum to let him know he's listening, but it turned more into a weak groan.

"Before I have Raph pick you up, I'm going to do a quick check to see how you're doing. I need you to keep the shield up, okay? Can you do that for me? No, don't move your head, I got it," Leo adds quickly, pulling their hands apart to stop Donnie from nodding with both of his hands.

"Okay," Leo says, more to himself, as he finally lets go of Donnie's head, throwing a sharp glare in his direction with one more, "don't move," as he picks up Donnie's wrist to take his pulse.

He frowns, clearly not pleased with what he's feeling, but he moves on anyways, carefully shifting his head to lean against Donnie's chest. It was difficult since Donnie was on his side, and Leo seemed to take extra care in making sure not to jostle him. Leo's frown only deepens. This check up clearly wasn't going well. Damn, there goes my perfect test scores...

Then Leo goes to check his eyes, but without a pen light to use and the lighting around them being so dim, he gives up on that, moving to hold Donnie's hands instead.

"Squeeze my hands," Leo instructs.

Donnie has to dig through his energy reserve moving his fingers, and he notices that his right hand reacts before his left. Huh. But either way, he manages to give Leo's hands a weak, lopsided squeeze, which seemed to be good enough for now because Leo nods approvingly.

"Okay, now wiggle your toes for me." The slider sits up a bit straighter to look at the softshell's feet. Or, where Donnie assumes they must be, because he can't feel anything below his chest. Donnie's never been in shock before, and after this experience, he never wants to again. Though, that's a bit redundant. No one ever wants to go into shock, that would be masochistic. But Donnie definitely would rate this experience a zero out of ten, would not recommend-

"Donnie, focus," Leo says, placing a hand on Donnie's arm, bringing Donnie back to the present. "I need you to wiggle your toes." Was Donnie becoming delusional, or was there a hint of desperation in his brother's tone? Probably both.

So Donnie wiggles his toes like Leo has asked of him, if only to ease his brother's concern.

"Donnie, seriously, man. Move your toes so we can finish this up. I know you're feeling kinda out of it right now but-"

What? "I already did," Donnie mumbles out, immediately wishing he hadn't spoken when such a simple task leaves him breathless and dizzy.

"What? No, dude, you didn't. Try again." Leo's tone sharpens, eyes going wide, despite his casual wording.

Donnie furrows his smudged brows. "What're you talkin about?" Donnie tries to get an arm under him to push himself up, turning his head towards his legs, confused, but the second he tries to move, Leo's on top of him again.

"Stop! Stop moving," Leo shouts hurriedly. Donnie can feel the sharp sting of Leo's panic through their interlinked ninpō, and suddenly there's a shift in the air. Ignoring Leo's frantic pleads and shaking hands, Donnie tilts his head up slowly, painfully, and sees the large purple dome he had accidentally created to surround them shudder. A loud pounding followed by muffled rage filled roars could be heard just outside of the shield, as the Krang leader slams his fists into the structure, clearly becoming impatient.

When the Krang brings his fists down again, the structure glitches.

Donnie gasps, along with his brothers, and by pure instinct he pushes more energy into the shield. The world starts spinning and the corners of his vision go dim as he uses up the last of his reserves, and when Donnie blinks his eyes back open, his head is laying on the ground again. Leo's shouting something to someone, and there's a flash of bright, neon blue, and there's a large arm shifting under him. The last thing he sees is a burst of purple pixels as the dome shatters before his eyes slip shut.

———

Okay so I really have no idea how to format anything on this app, so if it’s hard to read, I’m so sorry 😭

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 406: Secret Menu Hero Name

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all “NOT EVEN DEATH ITSELF CAN STOP ME!!!” and saved All Might so easily and spectacularly that it immediately became clear why Horikoshi had to keep him on ice for fourteen months straight. All Might was all “thanks for the assist Bakugou-shounen, now please allow me to show my gratitude by lending you my SWEETASS ROBOT ARM that nearly gave makeste a fucking heart attack when she saw it, HOLY SHIT.” Kacchan was all “I JUST LIKE TO SMILE, SMILING’S MY FAVORITE” and he smiled the BIGGEST EVER and indeed has literally not STOPPED smiling ever since, and my heart is warm. <3333

Today on BnHA: A jubilant menace stirs in the air. A chill runs down Kid For One’s spine. A sudden crash behind him. He whirls around, only to be met with the face of Chaos itself in all its raucous glory. The boy is relentless. His pursuit, unending. His blows, unyielding. And his mirth, as perplexing as it is petrifying. What the fuck. Why won’t he stop laughing. He’s laughing. Horikoshi is laughing. The readers are all laughing. You’re laughing. Kid For One is shitting his pants while this cackling sleep paralysis demon gleefully chips away at his frail sanity, one frenetic BOOM at a time. And you’re laughing. :|

doo de doo, don’t mind me, just gonna scroll past the first couple pages of this chapter so I don’t get spoiled for the outcomes of all the other mini-battles I haven’t finished catching up with yet :’)

though I already caught a glimpse of a bloodied-up Shouji before I realized what was happening, so unfortunately that particular cat is now out of the bag. can’t believe the suspense of whether or not Shouji would survive his fight is now completely ruined for me. can you even imagine how tense it would have been wondering whether or not Shouji would get killed off. ...and you know what, even as I type this, I’m realizing that this is really not the type of sarcasm that translates very well across the internet, lol. and even if it did, it could just as easily come across as “WOW, MAKESTE REALLY DOESN’T CARE ABOUT SHOUJI AT ALL, HUH” sarcasm, rather than the “it’s not that serious guys, it’s just that there’s no possible way Horikoshi could ever convince me that he was actually going to kill off one of the kids” sarcasm it was intended as! so yeah. you know what, I’m just going to shut up about all this now and move on. glad he’s okay though

so now back to the Main Character Battlefield, where Kacchan is currently having way too good of a time for someone who actually WAS killed off by Horikoshi fairly recently

All Might is all “he’s so fast!” and yeah he really is lol. ngl, I had a fair amount of Kacchan endgame theory stuff riding on his ability to meaningfully upgrade his speed, so all of this is very satisfying to hear! and to be fair, I do wonder how much of it is owed to the boost from Gearshift as opposed to Katsuki’s own newly acquired exploding bloodsweat. but I’d like to think that even without GS he’s still incredibly fucking fast at this point. like easily still a Top 3 BnHA Speedy Boi

well shit lol now Edgeshot is reminding everyone that even prior to his “death”, Kacchan was briefly able to surpass Tomura’s speed with his upgrade

well there you have it! so yeah, that basically confirms he’s currently even faster than All Might was at his peak. just a homicidal little comet casually zipping around all of these other slowpokes

lol

just for the record, I still have no clue how Kacchan’s bizarre new upgrade actually works, but I am fairly certain that sweat is NOT SUPPOSED TO EVER DO THAT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

like seriously though Kacchan, doesn’t this hurt? like at all?

(ETA: hahahaha. ouch.)

well whatever!! if Tomura was able to bypass Erasure’s loopholes with all of his hand nonsense, then Kacchan’s sweat has my permission to zoom around inside his bloodstream and randomly explode inside him to somehow make him faster without actually harming him in any way, AND THAT’S FINE. the time for nitpicking ended roughly around the same time that a soft-spoken paracord man dove inside of him to forcefully restart his organs

LOL

“DON’T GET ME WRONG, I COULD EASILY KILL HIM ANY TIME I WANT! I JUST DON’T FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT RIGHT NOW, OKAY. THAT’S DEFINITELY WHAT IT IS, AND IT’S DEFINITELY NOT BECAUSE HE JUST EXPLODED ME SO HARD THAT I SAW THE FOURTH DIMENSION”

meanwhile back in Dekutown it looks like Tomura has maybe finally broken free of his impromptu Blackwhip toddler leash

whatever man. how are you still not redeemed yet since I last saw you in chapter 369. you had like an entire year’s worth of chapters. get it together already!!

lol what in the actual fuck is “instadeath”

is this just a Funny Ha Ha fanscan way of referring to Decay?? or were there some additional Tomura quirk developments that I missed out on which were somehow even wilder than the infinityhands

Deku keeps saying that he’s for serious REALLY going to run out of Gearshifts now, but I don’t fucking believe a word this kid says tbh

it will be the “final one” once the fight is finally over, and not a moment sooner. if I know anything about Deku, which I do. and Gearshift, which to be fair I really don’t

-- oh, fuck yeah

what the hell is up with that swirly hand shit though, Kid For One. you better knock that off right now

OH MY GOD THIS FUCKING GUY FOR REAL THOUGH!!

:/ well at least this time you’re being ignored because he’s actually scared shitless of you. shh. don’t tell anyone

holy shit this chapter keeps hitting me with these random bits of information Destiel meme-style and it’s the wildest fucking thing

so while I did obviously clue in to the fact that something must have gone down in the Endeavor+Hawks+Toko+Jirou VS AFO battle, on account of AFO very clearly not being in Jakku anymore, I have not yet caught up to that part of the series, so I don’t actually know anyone’s status! hopefully they’re all alive and relatively unmaimed! although they very clearly failed at their One Job, but oh well

that being said, “AS STRONG AS DARK SHADOW” looooooool omg. DS what did you do. my boy left an impression. I cannot wait to read that, oh goodness

KFO YOU LITTLE TWERP, DIDN’T ANYONE EVER TELL YOU YOU SHOULDN’T LOOK DOWN ON OTHER PEOPLE OR ELSE YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR OWN WEAKNESSES

seems like someone ought to have told you that. could have spared you a lot of pain and agitation to come. more’s the pity

hee hee hee

hello there

so now my feral wolfchild is having a big internal monologue about how he’s finally mastered his new superquirk through the power of being an unrepentant masochist

fsdkfj. listen up Kid For One, he may be “nothing but a pebble”, but I promise you, if you could fucking hear this kid’s thought processes right now, you would already be halfway across the planet. living out the rest of your days in hiding while checking underneath your bed every night to make sure this little hobgoblin isn’t secretly waiting there to pounce at you

FSDLKFJSLDKJFL SDFLKWJEFLKWLF WLKJFLDKS

(ETA: you guys will never believe this but I found a sneak peak of the as-yet-unreleased soundtrack which will accompany this scene in season seven of the anime! SPOILER ALERT!!!)

ACTUAL GHOUL. I AM ACTUALLY SCREAMING. MY SON HAS BECOME GENUINE NIGHTMARE FUEL

THIS IS MY FAVORITE, FAVORITE, FAVORITE THING EVER YOU GUYS. HOLY SHIT. I CAN’T BREATHE OMFG

OUCH. HA! HAHA.

(ETA: once again, I know this sounds highly improbable, but I actually found some 100% authentic footage from the anime version of this scene! I’m telling ya. once this hits the airwaves minds are gonna be blown.)

HE IS THE “WHO” WHEN YOU CALL “WHO’S THERE”!!! HE IS THE WIND BLOWING THROUGH YOUR HAIR

you have to admit though, this really is the exact type of behavior you’d expect from someone who literally just got spat back out from the pits of hell

oh my god hold up what is this sudden tonal whiplash?

you guys I seriously had to sit back and take a deep breath and calm myself down for a moment, because Final Form Katsuki is just So Much. like actually just THE MOST. that I had to physically force myself to slow down and take these next few panels seriously and resist the urge to keep on making jokes about how CLEARLY EVEN HIS PARENTS ARE TERRIFIED. LOOK AT THEM. MASARU IS SOBBING AND MITSUKI’S HAND IS TREMBLING. IN THE WORLD’S MOST EPIC TWIST, AFO GOES DOWN ONLY TO BE REPLACED BY KACCHAN HIMSELF AS THE FINAL VILLAIN!!!

but yeah I had to stop and calm down from all of that because, oh. Masaru has his head in his hands. and Mitsuki’s trying to get him to turn around, but her hand really is shaking though. and it just really hit me that the two of them have spent the last... thirty minutes...?? swept up in the highs and lows of almost losing their child, and then getting him back, and then watching him be so strong and so good and SAVING ALL MIGHT and RESTORING EVERYONE’S HOPES AND DREAMS. and they must be so incredibly proud, but at the same time he’s still caught up in this fight, and the fight is still not over, and they know the tide could still turn again at any moment. and I can’t even imagine what that must be like. especially with them having already watched their son die once today

oh my god Horikoshi you cannot freaking do this to me!

goddammit. and now I’m all caught up in my Bakufam feels. DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI, THE MITSUKI TEARS WERE THE LOWEST OF BLOWS

and now Kid For One is once again whining about this “pebble” who’s pissing him off even worse than All Might. you love to see it!

OH MY GOD?!?!

oh my lord?! is it finally happening?? ARE WE FINALLY GETTING THAT SWEET, SWEET CONTEXT AT LONG LAST? WILL A MAN FINALLY HAVE A NAME??

-- Horikoshi I swear to god

YEAH NO SHIT. NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, THEY DO KIND OF BEAR A RESEMBLANCE. YOU KNOW, IF YOU SQUINT

okay, color me intrigued. so that is indeed why AFO was crying when we previously saw this flashback! this is actually so interesting to me, because it’s literally the one and only time he’s ever shown real emotion outside of generic battle-related stuff (anger, shock, surprise, etc.)

so he says Kacchan pisses him off because he looks like Two. and every time he gets reminded of Two, he remembers how his brother died. and, I guess, made him feel sad for the first and probably last time ever???

holy shit, Kacchan was right

he really is AFO’s Final Boss. like even more than he realized

*~*~*OH MY GOD*~*~*

HOLY SHIT YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU!!

OFA DOS PARTIAL NAME REVEAL AT LONG LAST!! FULL NAME REVEAL AND ADDITIONAL FLASHBACKS TO FOLLOW NEXT WEEK...?? YES? MAYBE? PLEASE????

I swear to god, if Horikoshi deliberately kept Two’s quirk and name Top Secret for YEARS only for them BOTH to wind up NOT ACTUALLY BEING REMOTELY SPOILERY OR WORTH ANY KIND OF SUSPENSEFUL BUILD-UP IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER, I will. just sit here and be puzzled, I guess. lol. “sometimes I just like to fuck with people like that.” OKAY?? WELL GOOD JOB, THEN??

“Kacchan of the Bakugous” was so out of left field and I am grinning so, so hard right now. BAKUGOU NO KACCHAN. that’s officially the second Heroes Rising reference in as many chapters! sure feels like A Certain Mangaka is building up to a Certain Reveal about SOMEBODY maybe possibly still having SOMETHING which will remain unnamed for now, but which rhymes with “done for mall”! and that’s all I’m gonna say about that

except that it’s not, because I’d be lying if I said I didn’t also have fifteen other entirely different emotions about him proudly introducing himself to AFO not as Great Explosion Murder God Dynamight, but as someone even more powerful. “BEHOLD, it is none other than I... Kacchan!!! ( •̀ ᴗ •́ )و lolo get fucked you big dumb fart”

heh. but seriously. just me sitting here basking in the fact that he uses the name Deku gave him. the fact that he decides not to go with his formidable, much-agonized-over hero name in this one moment, but instead chooses to use a far more terrifying moniker, even if AFO doesn’t realize the significance. because Dynamight is a hero, yes. one of the very greatest and strongest!

but Kacchan? Kacchan is the boy with a dream. Kacchan is the boisterous child laughing at the danger, unafraid of the challenge. smiling in the face of the tallest wall. Deku’s motherfucking Image of Victory. hahahahaha. ouch

anyway so yeah! what a chapter. this may have actually derailed me because now my brain just wants to write a bunch of character metas even though I STILL HAVE THIRTY MORE CHAPTERS TO READ. and not to mention I still have to actually post all of them as well lol. but whatever! we’ll make it work. long live Kacchan of the Bakugous, and may his Secret Menu Hero Name always strike fear in the hearts of his enemies

[charmedreincarnation]

Heyy, I'm new on tumblr, even though I've been reading void blogs and success stories from chrome over the past few months but this is my first time actually getting tumblr. I've asked this to other bloggers but nobody seemed to reply, maybe they're on break but I don't really know since I'm new here. So I tried the secret subject sleep trigger and after it was over I woke up (as the person in the hypnosis directed me to) and laid on my bed absolutely motionless for about 15 minutes, my legs got sore since they were suspended from from the bed (the bed is a bit small) so I folded my legs while keeping my position same, then I remembered that I saw in a video about astral projection that you can visualize you have a rope hanging above you and feel that you're holding onto that rope and pulling yourself, so I did and it felt like I was actually pulling myself up and finally it felt like my legs were pulled up and once it happened, the thing I experienced after this was mind blowing, I WAS BLOWN. My earphones were still attached but there was no audio playing (since the sleep trigger hypnosis had already ended and my internet wasn't on) but I heard music for a very short while and after that I heard the audio which I previously heard in the mind awake body asleep binarual beats audio by phase evolution and some high pitched sounds occasionally, even tho anything wasn't playing. It felt like I was aggressively being pulled up and thrown down and my skin was being stretched vigorously and it also felt like my body was being tensed up and then back to normal and while this was happening I affirmed for the void, affirmations like 'I am in the void state rn' 'I always wake up in the void' 'Why do I always wake up in the void' such and such. After a while of this everything started to calm down so I thought I was in the void but as things started to calm down I could again slowly hear the background noises (like my mother talking and trees rustling) and again I was feeling how I felt when I laid motionless previously and then eventually my mother woke me up (even though I wasn't really asleep this whole time). I'm writing this long asf paragraph to ask you what actually happened when I experienced that because I am absolutely clueless, where I went wrong because I eventually couldn't enter the void and how I can improve or what I can do to succeed the next time (I'll be trying again tonight).

(I've asked this to quite a few bloggers but got no reply and I don't know if they're on break or if my question got sent)

Love youu and have a great day ahead 💕

There is a whole range of sleep states that negate out-of-body experiences and beyond, from MABA to the void and experiences in between like SATs, hypnagogia, sleep paralysis, the trance state, and etc. I can't tell you what was happening because I'm not you, and even if it was happening to me, I can't tell if I would know what was happening even if it was happening to me.

For everyone, it's very much a learning experience; there are still things that happen to me where I need to do research because it's very new! My mindset is just to affirm and hope for the best because even if it's not something you're aware of, it doesn't mean it can't help or you failed.

Just assume every new experience is an opportunity opening and just take it even if you don’t know what it is because there are things that happened to me in 2020 that I now realize, "Oh, I almost shifted. Oh, that was the void state. Oh, I was astral projecting," now in 2024. There’s a lot of potential in the the unknown and in the realm of OBEs it will benefit you to just assume the best and affirm lol I promise it will take you far