#i have been bawling my eyes out for an hour and the cards really said hey itll be okay

[melonsmagic]

All I said was hi cards and it spit out this.

I have been trapped in my comfort zone too long it became dangerous. So now I'm going through a transition / period change. But my future has all I need to take the energy and aim high for myself

(if anybody wants to tell me what else is going on in this read I am more than willing to hear it)

[caelcstis]

small apologies to anyone who saw me have a whole breakdown on the dash over the weekend

essentially money's always an issue in my house.

rent's bumped up to $1610 but they didn't bump it last year so my mom and i couldn't complain. her car got repossessed late friday night into early saturday morning because my friend and i were out swimming that night and we saw it still there when i was dropped off damn near midnight and i didn't get the dogs back out until 1 am before crashing in bed.

i only just got my permit again, and i have no car because we sold mine when i was like 20/21 to just have extra pocket money for rent and a car payment. it's been an issue since i was a kid, and my mom's kind of been bringing me down that path now that i have a job and was capable of building credit. i now have shit credit, which means i can't get a new place to live for the both of us since she's getting older, it'd be hard for me to find a place to sell me a car. i work a job that's pays me now $12.70 and have been told since april i would be getting full time and a raise. credit cards have been charged off, i still have one company down my throat to pay them back by the end of the month which if i had the money, i would.

regardless, money's always been an issue, having lost our one vehicle of transportation just kind of made me snap. my friend who was supposed to pick me up had her boyfriend - who i am not fond of, pick me up because she went an hour away for fucking fish being sold at her campground. i was at work, i had a new person working up there with me and i just couldn't babysit. i got through it since i convinced my morning worker to stay. i bought her a coffee with whatever money i had, i made sure she got a scratchy that lets her get money off groceries and i was basically in tears saturday night that everyone knew because i just couldn't keep myself together.

sunday it was a little better, especially when my sister said she'd help my mother get her car back and even chewed her out for not telling us sooner - not that i could help much. but if i knew she was struggling that much i would have taken on other bills like more for electric, internet, gas - but she never told me. especially when i was working 40+ hours a week for a month and a half.

i was just really stressed, overwhelmed and mad at my whole situation because we've been living like this since i was 11 and i'm turning 25. it's exhausting and i was just so pissed off between the situation with the car, my friend abandoning me it felt like, and just having to be at work when i wasn't in the mental state and i knew i couldn't leave because no one would come in or stay for me. no one fucking cares about the work i do or how hard i work. they just care it gets done. just hope asset protection enjoys me collapsing in the corner of the cash office bawling my eyes out because i just couldn't stop myself at one point because of my anxiety.

but yes, i apologize if i worried anyone, especially when i never really responded to anyone. i just needed more of a place to vent it out in the small ways i could. i'm okay now, my sister help pay off what was owed and hopefully my mother gets her car back tomorrow.

it's not perfect for me still, but it's a little lighter.

[reidjumpers]

edge of desire

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warning/Includes: None, I believe! Angst if you squint hard enough

Summary: Spencer receive a phone call from you in the middle of the night, and now a lot of emotions come to the surface.

Note: i wrote this because i can't stop listening to edge of desire. also taking a short break from writing dad!spencer and picturing his dating days with mom!reader

‘I’m scared you’ll forget about me.’

Happiness could be found everywhere if one squint hard enough, but Spencer would argue that happiness tends to be found laced in the smallest thing. He had found solace and happiness in between spines of his books, in exciting gaps between his cards when he played poker, and in the checkered black and white of a chessboard.

But even with the vast knowledge his mind stored for a lifetime, he would never expect to find happiness in the simplicity of a greeting on a phone. Spencer rolled on his bed as he pressed his phone to his ear. His hand rubbed his drowsiness away, blinking as his gaze slowly focusing on the clock beside his bed. 3:43 AM.

“Do you know what time it is in DC?” Spencer reprimanded half-heartedly. His voice laced thick with sleep, but there was no hostility or any real heat behind his voice.

“Sorry to call you so late,” you chuckled at his scolding, but Spencer could spot the guilt hidden in between the lines just fine. He knew you like he knew the back of his hand after all. Something that he prided on, a treasured possession of his wonderful knowledge. “You can go back to sleep.”

“No,” Spencer answered immediately. “Talk to me. I miss your voice.”

I miss you was the word that failed to leave his tongue, but he knew you’d known what he implied from his words just fine. Judging from the way he could hear you heaved a sigh from the other line, and a brief pause with you shuffling in the background – he liked to imagine you’re padding across a wooden floor with your favorite fuzzy socks – he knew you understood what he wanted to say.

“I saw a really cute, fat cat earlier today!” your voice laced with excitement. It made his heart clenched, and listening to you rambling about the owner letting you pet the cat and giving them treats made breathing felt like an excessive exercise.

Spencer stared into the ceiling, absorbing every word by words that left from your mouth. If he concentrated just hard enough, he could almost feel your presence next to him, vibrating with excitement. If he tried hard enough, he could form an image of you smiling and laughing perfectly.

“I wish you’re here with me, Spence,” you whispered the last addition, like a leftover from your past excitement and laughter. He almost missed the way you said it.

Spencer paused, his mouth open and closed like a gaping fish out of a pond. Funny how a simple sentence could erase all of his knowledge on English words and made it like an indecipherable language his mind failed to comprehend. He resigned into a long sigh instead, bracing himself to embrace all the waves of crashing emotions that he poured all of his energy over to keep it on bay.

“I–” Spencer shut his mouth again. And just like that, all of the emotions he simply didn’t want to acknowledge earlier came into the surface. Pushing all of his barriers that he built for days, breaking and seeping through the cracks. “I’m jealous.”

That seemingly caught you off guard. “Jealous?” you asked incredulously. He could hear you shuffled in the background again, then he could hear a soft creak of a door being pushed open. There was a long pause from your part and a soft thud of someone landing in a cushion. Probably you’re in bed now. “Jealous of?”

“People who got to see you everyday.”

People who got to be by your side when I couldn’t.

“Baby…” you whispered. He could almost picture the way the edge of your eyes would soften and your lips twitched into a soft smile perfectly.

Spencer wanted to scowl, wanted to reprimand you for having the audacity to call him that. To call him with the name he had associated with comfort and love coming from you, oozing from every inch of your skin. Spencer wanted to be angry even, at you, for worsening the aching in his chest and the longing that pained him more and more as the time ticked by.

“I’m scared you’ll forget about me.”

He knew he was being ridiculous. He felt ridiculous. He was being irrational with his fears and the ache in his chest. You had only been gone for exactly 4 days, 6 hours, and 22 minutes, but it already felt like forever since the last time he saw your face. The fact that you’re a whole continent away from him with the damned time zone that didn’t do anyone any favors only worsen and heighten everything into ten.

“I doubt I can forget someone as remarkable as you are,” you laughed, and he could picture the way your nose would crinkle adorably just fine. “I’m here, baby.”

“But not here here,” he copied the way you’d talked when you wanted to emphasize on something. Spencer smiled when he could hear you snorted a laugh. “I am always my happiest self when I am with you wherever you are. And right now, I am not very happy.”

“Do you want to make me cry?” you asked. Your voice wavered a little bit, and Spencer knew your eyes would gloss with tears that threatened to spill already. “Is that what you want? You want me to bawl my eyes out, Spencer Reid?”

“No,” Spencer huffed a laugh. Ever so dramatic that you are. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

“It feels like you just want to make me cry.”

“I am not a meanie who enjoys making people cry.”

“Right now you’re very mean and you’re about to make me cry.”

“Don’t cry,” Spencer cooed, but it was more of a plea rather than anything else. “If you cry, I’ll cry. And then you’ll be a meanie who profited from other people’s tears.”

“Aren’t we quite a pair? We both are meanies who make people cry.”

“An amazing pair,” Spencer affirmed.

You laughed, and he joined you, then it went away just as soon as it came. Silence settled between you two, and Spencer could hear a hitch of breathing from your part. And then a quiet sniffle. Spencer knew there would be tears streaming down your face right now, even though you tried your best to battle it with a wide smile. An unsettling ache settled on his bones upon the bearing knowledge that he couldn’t do anything to wipe the tears away.

Spencer let out a shaky sigh, feeling the tears slowly rolling down his cheeks too. He didn’t bother to wipe it away, too overwhelmed with the wave of emotions that washed through him. He felt every emotion at once, and he couldn’t point which one is which.

“My home is wherever you are,” you break the silence, nearly startled him from the suddenness of your voice reverberated through his phone. “I miss home. I miss you, baby.”

“Come back home,” Spencer begged. He was unashamed about it. “Come back to me.”

“Soon,” you promised, firm and so sure about it. “Soon enough that I’ll be back in your arms before you even know it.”

“Soon,” he breathed.

Spencer could hold into a sweet promise for a little while, salvaging his aching bones and painful heart from not having you by his side. Spencer closed his eyes and slowly drifted back into slumber with the blanket of your sweet promise to be back home soon. A sweet promise that promised a tomorrow of a sweet reunion, something that he looked forward to.

[13uswntimagines]

Secret Santa (Alex Morgan x Reader)

Reader is in the military and surprises her wife and daughter (with a little help from Preath). Merry Christmas from @literaryhedgehog and Me!!!

“Little bit still hasn’t told you what she wants for Christmas yet?” Kelley asked, munching on some pretzels and hummus.  

Alex rolled her eyes sliding into a seat next to her. “No, she utterly convinced that it won’t come true if she tells anyone but Santa.” 

“Didn't she write a letter? Why didn’t you just take a peek?” Tobin interjected, sitting on Kelley’s other side. Her fiancé had been so excited to have her niece for the day. 

“She mailed it to god knows where with Christen before I could,” Alex sighed, shaking her head. She had been fine with the whole mailing letters thing (actually watching your four-year old try to write out something heartfelt in blue crayon was kinda adorable), but then Camren had insisted on mailing it herself. Alex felt a little bad for the person in Antarctica who was getting the random letter. 

“Damn,” Kelley huffed, blowing her cheeks out, trying to drum up ideas. 

“Yeah, apparently it’s a Press family tradition or whatever, and Chris did it because Y/n isn’t here to. If she was she at least could have curbed some of her enthusiasm long enough to take a picture of the letter.” Alex grumbled, chewing thoughtfully on a pretzel. Your big sister had been picking up a lot of slack while you were away with the SEALs, but it just wasn’t the same as having you there. 

“We hired a Santa, so just listen to whatever she tells him,” Tobin shrugged, a look that Alex didn’t recognize crossing her features. 

“And pray to god it gets here overnight,” Kelley snorted. Hopefully whatever Camren wanted could be found at a local Walmart. 

 *****

The holiday party was in full bustle. There were benefits to doing training in Florida, so while Camren still had her heart set on snow for christmas, the adults had strung the outdoor tent with string lights and decorated it with holly and mistletoe. Camren had promised to eat at least two bites of every food there -- even the healthy ones that looked weird (her words not Alex’s) -- before she ate too many of Emily’s double chocolate chunk brownies, and so Alex was feeling rather proud of herself. She and her daughter were both there, dressed up, and only 15 minutes late for the party-- not bad for single parenting skills. Maybe after Camren was done talking to Santa, Carlie or Lindsey could be persuaded to babysit for a bit so Alex could go introduce herself to that lovely bottle of merlot she saw hiding in the corner. 

Alex was surprised with how comfortable her daughter seemed on Santa’s lap. Camren was a bit nervous walking over, but it was nothing compared to her fear last year, when she had bawled until you eventually gave up and held her behind the poor man. Perhaps it had to do with how tenderly the poor suited person seemed to hold the small child, and the little glimmer in their eyes. . 

Santa’s eyes met Alex’s for a split second, and the sense of security the slight contact brought her was slightly alarming. They looked so familiar and sent warm tingles through her chest. 

“Did you get my letter?” The little girl asked, drawing the bearded one’s attention back to her. Alex bit her lip, there was no way this random stranger got the letter addressed to Rudolph at the North Pole. 

The Santa nodded, their features softening. “I did. It seems you were very concerned about your mama getting her gift?”

The little girl nodded rapidly. “How do you know where to take it, if she’s on top secret missions all da time?” Her brow furrowed, “what if she doesn’t have a chimney to hang her stocking on?”

“I just know. Remember I know if you’ve been good or bad, or if you move. I promise she’ll get everything she wants. Now back to you. What do you want for Christmas?” Santa tried to explain. 

The little girl thought for a moment, her finger tapping on her chin, before she leaned up to cup the person’s ear. She whispered a few words, leaned back to look the bearded person in the eye. The (very fake) white beard at the top of the red coat bobbed up and down in a nod, and Alex saw a sparkle in their eye as their lips twitched above it. 

“Well that’s quite the order.” 

“Pwease? Its not that tall, and It’s the only thing I really want,” Camren pouted, pulling the puppy dog eyes that never ceased to make her parents melt. This was important, and if she only got one real chance to talk to the person who could make it happen, she wanted them to know just how much she wanted it. 

“I’ll see what I can do,” the Santa said, nodding seriously and stroking the beard as Camren jumped up and ran back to Alex. 

“What did you ask for?” Alex whispered. Good grief, wasn’t the whole point of hiring a Santa to hear what the munchkin wanted?

“Can’t say. Want it to happen,” Camren whispered back, twirling slightly as she buried herself in the hem of her mom’s skirt. This was going to be the best Christmas ever. 

****

Alex smiled widely as the Santa pulled another wrapped present from the gaudy red bag. It was a nice spin on their usual tradition, and she just hoped Pino didn’t get her for a secret Santa. That woman forgot every year, and Alex’s name hadn’t come up yet and that bag looked suspiciously empty. No wait, there was one- nope, that was Beckey’s present from Alyssa. Maybe there was a gift card in there somewhere? Alex looked down at Camren, who despite practically nodding off in Sonnet’s arms an hour ago, had woken up during the secret santa exchange. She was now sitting on the ground playing with the toy horses, blind to her surroundings.

“Hey, um Kelley? Who was running the secret santa exchange again?” Alex whispered, grabbing her arm. “I think my person forgot to get me a present.”

“What?” Kelley, turned to her shocked. “I think maybe Tobin was in charge this year, we’ll ask her if someone wrote down who your person was.”

“Oh that’s not necessary,” Christen’s voice broke in. Alex and Kelley turned to look at her and Tobin, who were standing with a very confused Emily.  “I’m really sorry, we just didn’t get a chance to wrap your gift. You’ll get it at the end of the party.” 

“Isn’t it like against the rules for Christen to get Alex since they actually spend Christmas together every year?” Sonnett whined. If she couldn’t buy presents for Lindsey, and Sam couldn’t do it for Kristie then that totally wasn’t fair.Sister-in-law and fiance-of-sister-in-law definitely had an unfair advantage on the ”knowing what presents to buy” front. She had to buy Jullie’s gift, and had just settled on some tea-rex patterned socks and a starbucks gift card. 

Lindsey glared in her direction. “Can it disonny,” she wasn’t about to let her girlfriend mess up a surprise that had been 6 months in the making. 

“It’s fine Chris, you didn’t have to get me anything,” Alex smiled sadly. 

“I mean that would have been cruel since Camren has been campaigning pretty hard for your present,” Christen snorted. It was all your daughter could talk about. She had even harassed every Santa she saw while they went Christmas shopping, and wrote several letters (that she forwarded to you) about the issue. 

“She told you what she wants, and you didn’t tell me?” Alex asked exasperated. She had been fighting with your daughter for a month to know what she actually wanted. Why on earth would she tell her aunt but not her mom? She was going to have to have a conversation with Camren about how Santa had different rules from wishing on a star or a birthday candle. Namely that she should tell her mom what she wanted!

Christen shrugged, a smile pulling at her lips, though Alex didn’t know what she was so amused about. “Well, it was for you, so I get a pass,”

“I for one think that Christen’s present is totally on point, even if it’s wrapped in ugly, sweaty red velvet,” A new voice joined the conversation, just as arms wrapped snugly around Alex’s waist. 

Alex froze, her eyes going wide and her mouth opening and closing several times. 

You chucked from behind her, spinning her around so you were face to face for the first time in almost a year. 

“Hi love.”

“Holy shit,” Alex breathed. Her hands reached up to touch your cheeks, the sense of touch confirming what she couldn’t trust her eyes to see. 

“Surprise,” You mumbled, leaning in and finally connecting your lips. You sighed into the kiss, thoroughly enjoying the way they moved together, and the taste of your wife. She impatiently pulled down the beard when you paused to breathe, and your hands found her hips, pulling her closer, while her fingers tangled in that baby hairs at the base of your neck. “Let’s do that again,” you said, your breath fanning against her lips before she pulled you back in. You had an awful lot of time to make up for. 

“Why is mommy kissing Santa Claus,” Camren asked from somewhere below your feet. You were fairly certain you heard one of your wife’s teammates explaining in the background that Santa left a little while ago, and Mama had just dressed like him to surprise Mommy. You were a tad busy to explain anything right now.

[icarushasfallenfromthestars]

hi!! do u mind if i request? maybe a tommy x reader who’s been struggling recently, with like getting out of bed, doing homework and stuff, and one day she doesn’t respond all day (probably just lying in bed all day or sm) and tommy goes to her house to see what’s up and comforts her and tries to help (even tho he’s lowkey bad at it he can always make u laugh that’s fax) and they kinda have like a ‘self care/help day’ with face masks and movies and unending laughter? thank u so much!!

Oooooo my first writing request! By the way it's written, I assume the reader is a female so that's what is gonna be written! Thanks for requesting!

I accidentally made this a little more dramatic than intended...

I Don't Know What To Do (So I'll Make You Smile) (Plat!Tommyinnit x F!Reader)

He didn't quite understand why you became so... Unmotivated lately. You briefly mentioned that you couldn't drag yourself over to your desk, let alone bring yourself to do the homework your teacher assigned.

Normally he didn't care too much and always said (jokingly) about how you should drop out of school and become a minecraft streamer. He got heavily scolded by Philza for suggesting it though. Normally, though.

Lately he's been taking glances at your report cards when you weren't looking and saw you mostly has C's and D's down the board. You were failing.

At the time, he didn't know how to bring it up or whether or not he should, and asked Philza Minecraft for help on what he should do. Phil explained to him that your mental situation was actually looking pretty bad and he suggested that Tommy go check up on you as soon as possible.

So, like any modern day teen, he texted you way more often than before, anything from asking if you wanted to hang out or stream with him, or sending you some stupid tiktok he found.

At first it was working and Tommy couldn't help but feel proud of himself. But then one day you didn't text him back.

His brain just told him you were busy at that time and left it at that, but then it struck 6pm and he still recieved no response.

A little annoyed by being ignored, Tommy threw on a quick sweater and his shoes before heading to the door. After a quick shout to his mother, explaining that he was heading to your house, he stepped out and walked across the pavement.

Within a few steps, he was standing at your door awkwardly. Normally he would've just burst in with a lame yet some how dramatic greeting to your parents before storming to your room (it happened at least four times a week. They got used to it within the first month.) but now... Something held him back.

Were you okay? Were you ignoring him on purpose? Maybe he was being a bit too dramatic?

Ah. Since when has that ever stopped him?

With a sudden burst of confidence, he grabbed the doorknob and let himself in. Your parents were at work so he made sure to be extra annoying this time, pay back for ignoring him! "I'm breaking into your home!" He yelled dramatically after reaching out and pressing the doorbell a few times to alert his existence even more.

He took his shoes off and made his way to your room, the pathway ingrained into his mind at this point.

When he reached the door, he gave a brief knock (he had manners. Sometimes.) Before turning the knob. "You better be decent for both of our sanity!" He called before finally opening it.

Your room looked... Empty... at first. In the beginning, he thought you weren't home, that is until the blankets began to shift and there was an annoyed groan.

"Soooo dramatiiiiic..." You huffed, unfurling yourself from your cocoon of blankets to glare at him jokingly, but he looked more surprised.

"You look like you got hit with a bus!"

"Well screw you too..."

Tommy snorted before awkwardly sitting on the edge of your bed. "So.. why haven't you been up today? Or... Well.. Passing your classes?"

You were definitely shocked that Tommy noticed, and part of you wanted to joke to ease the tension, but you figured that would make it harder on him. "Well... See... I've been struggling a lot with my mental state and everything just became really stressful, but even then I couldn't do it... And.. Well still can't.."

"Why... Not?" He looked at you in confusion and you just shrugged slightly, running your hand through your bedhead... Which you could see Tommy trying his absolute hardest not to snicker at.

"I don't really feel motivated... I can't even really get out of bed.."

The blond boy gave you an awkward pat on the arm, making you roll your eyes. "Uhhh.. You.. wanna watch a movie? Or... Oh! Maybe we could go egg Wilbur's house while he's off being a simp for Nikki!"

You scoffed and began to laugh into your hand which caused Tommy to greatly relax. "That's hours away, Tommy... We'd never get there before my parents get back. But we can watch a movie?"

"You're no funnnn!" He whined dramatically with a slight hint of a smile before shaking his head, "Go at least brush your hair while I find a movie, it looks like a porcupine got struck by lightening."

You rolled your eyes and slowly began to shuffle out of bed to make your way to the bathroom while Tommy turned on the TV in your room, having been here enough times that he knew how to use it.

When you came back, mostly cleaned up with a sweater thrown over your pajamas, you saw Tommy putting on one of his favourite comedy movies. There was also some snacks he had probably raided your kitchen or secret candy stash for, but you didn't mind. You flopped back down into your bed, while Tommy hit play.

"I never under stand why women always make such a bit deal over pulling those face mask things off of their face!" Tommy gestured to the scene that was playing in the movie. "Also why do they need so many face products? Doesn't water and dish soap do the trick?"

"You do NOT use dish soap on your face!" You gaped at his response to the movie. "And trust me... Those peel masks hurt." You saw Tommy roll his eyes for a moment before you got an idea. "Wanna try?"

The teen looked at you as if you were high on glue, but then he saw the challenging look in your eyes, and everyone knows that Tommy Big Man Innit NEVER backs down from a challenge. Or maybe he knew it would make you happy? "It can't be that bad!"

You knew he was gonna regret that.

You paused the movie while you scrambled to get your skin care products ready. First you made him wash his face, moisturize, etc etc, which he complained about non stop, but you always told him to quit whining or he was admitting to losing against the woman in the movie. He instantly quit complaining, calling the actress and pansy and hell bent determined to prove himself as an alpha male.

You made him put his hair back with a cheap headband you had, which caused his blond locks to practically flare out in every direction. After laughing about it for a minute, you made him sit down so you could paint the mask on.

"Sit still!"

"But it feels weird!"

"Keep quiet or this brush is going up your nose!"

"You wouldn't DARE."

"Wanna bet on it?"

After about five minutes of even more whining, you finally got the masks painted on you both as Tommy decided to take a picture of himself for Twitter to meme about.

Tommyinnit

Women are weird with their face skin care stuff...

While you both waited for the masks to dry, you had some how convinced Tommy to let you paint his nails but ONLY if he could do yours as well. We all know Tommy isn't about that toxic masculinity.

Once it was dry, you could see Tommy scrunching his face repeatedly, most likely not used to the unusual feeling. "Can I take this off now? I'm determined to prove myself better than those actors!"

You bit your lip to hide your grin as you gave a nod. Because yours was also dry, you showed him how to find an edge and how to pull it off.

"Ow! What the hell!?"

You snickered as you watched Tommy begin to yelp in pain as he began to pull the mask off, only able to do tiny tiny little bits at a time before needing a moment to gather himself, eyes watering.

You, being a boss, were already majority of the way done pulling the face mask off causing Tommy's jaw to d r o p. "You're a literal hell spawn! How are you not bawling your eyes out from the pain?!"

"I've done this quite a lot of times honestly. It's not that bad." You lied through your teeth. Honestly it hurt quite a lot, but you were just enjoying seeing Tommy gawk at you before trying to peel the mask off more, only to yelp and whine.

It took twenty minutes, and eventually, he got the product off and stared at his reddened face in the mirror. He decided to take another picture (with permission) for Twitter with you being a smug little shit while his eyes were still watery and his skin still irritated.

Tommyinnit

I respect women even more now...

(Yourusername)

@/tommyinnit Wimp.

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 9

a/n: hehehe this was inspired by that iconic picture in pinterest of akaashi turning into a child

summary: you signed up to take care of grown teenagers who are capable of taking care of themselves-not children

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

LMAO IS IWA KICKING HIM AND IS THAT MATTSUN SLAPPING HIS FLAT BUTT

so like,,,, you were at a complete loss

this was literally the last thing youd ever think of and you didnt even think it was possible for this to happen!

but before that

get in losers we’re going on a flashback

it was a wednesday so duh practice was normal after school

but you read on your weather app that it would be thunderstorming so you were worried on how the others would walk home and even texted oikawa if he could cancel the after-practice practice

but since the spring competitions were getting close, he wanted to get as much practice as possible, even sometimes doing monday practices, and the coaches were usually out the door once mandatory practice hours were over, letting the boys do more practice with no worry since you were there to handle it

the boys were in the gym practicing and stuff but you could hear the thunderstorms from the distance, the smell of rain already filling the gym

and you knew none of these boys owned or carried an umbrella with them so you were going to go and buy umbrellas for when they go home

‘you guys, ill be right back. im going to go to the store down the street, okay?’

the look you gave to iwa made him nod, knowing he was the one really in charged, since oikawa wasn’t really capable of handling everyone

‘i want to come’

kyo said but you stopped him, placing a comforting hand on his arm

‘ill be really quick so dont miss me too much’

‘come back soon, y/n-chan!’

‘be safe!’

iwa made sure you were bundled up with a raincoat and had your umbrella on hand before you went on your journey

ugh team moms have my heart

thankfully, the store had more than enough for the boys and you were trying to hurry because it was now raining heavily and you wanted to run back so they wouldnt worry

the cashier rang up your total and you were just giving her your card when a VERY BRIGHT LIGHTNING striked from the sky and a VERY LOUD thunderstorm rang in the distance

your heart thumped and it mightve just been your managerial instincts but you knew something was wrong

oh god oikawa must be freaking out right now since he absolutely hates thunderstorms

your worries were evident on your face so the cashier hurriedly handed you your bag full of umbrellas so you were able to sprint out of the door and too much in a hurry to even open your umbrella

the run to the school felt like it was a 10-mile run and when you finally ran towards the gym doors, you slowed to a speed-walk

but you froze

the lights were off and you could hear the screams of a child

well,,,,, more like, children

you entered the gym and fell on your butt in surprise

in front of you, were 9 toddlers who were thankfully covered by the now too-big clothing

they couldnt be over 3 and a half feet tall and looked like they were around 3 or 4 

‘i-i-iwa-san?’

you stuttered and reached a hand forward towards the baby with the black spiky hair but he cried louder, clutching on to the brunette baby

‘oh god’

you were finally starting to realize this situation

‘oh my god, what do i do’

you mumbled, standing up and panicked eyes wandering over each child

they were chibis

3 chibis were sleeping and you could tell each boy by their hairstyle

kunimi, yahaba, and mattsun were sleeping on top of the blue shirts and white shorts

kindaichi was hiccuping, seemingly done with his crying, while oikawa was bawling and screaming with iwaizumi holding on to his hand tightly, eyes also teary

makki was bleary-eyed and watari was just sitting there, eyes wide and lips parted but kyo, with hair turned to his original color yet the same sharp yellow eyes, looked on the verge of crying, hands reaching out to you

you immediately grabbed ahold of oikawa and you were thankful that their shirts were still over their tiny body

‘its okay, oikawa-san, its okay’

thunder rumbled again and this time, woke up the others in fright causing them to also start crying then the others started their own crying because everyone else was crying

you kept oikawa on your arms but ran to check on individual player

‘no,no,no! its okay! look! ball!’

you presented the stray volleyball next to iwaizumi and you guessed he was holding it before he transformed into this child form

‘IM SCARED!’

kindaichi shouted while sobbing and his loud voice startled yahaba even more and got him to cry harder making the others follow suit as well

‘oh no’

you whined and was slowly going crazy by the crying noises

you dont have any siblings so you never got the experience of having to take care of be around a toddler

maybe you should calm each child individually

that would work, right?

you remembered the method you used on oikawa once during training camp and you were hoping that his child self would still use the same calming routine

the speed you had to find your headphones and plug them in to your phone then his ears and playing the ‘big bang theory’ theme song was A S T R O N O M I C A L

you placed him in front of you and wiped the tears that trailed down his chubby cheeks while his little hands held on to your shirt

his cries started to slow down until it was just whimpers and you placed a kiss on his forehead when he finally quieted down

but while you were taking care of their captain, kyo was yelling at yahaba and making him more upset and cry even harder

‘MEAN DOGGIE!’

yahaba shouted and tried to hit kyotani but he hit him back

you pushed both children away and sat them down on their beehinds in front of you

‘no. we dont hit, yahaba-san, and we dont make fun, kyotani-san. time out for you two’

yahaba glared at the floor with tears pricking his eyes but one look from you made him hold it in and bite his lip

iwaizumi looked like he was finally getting ahold of himself as he was calmly sitting down with makki and mattsun by his side

you chortled when mattsun still possessed the same teasing smirk as he did when he was a teenager and his red eyes were now filled with mischief along with makki

iwa looked up at you with bright eyes, as if waiting for a reward or a compliment, and you swallowed your squeal before crouching across him and caressing his cheek

‘good job, iwa-san. iwa-san is a good boy’

he smiled, a smile youve never seen before, then snuggled closer to your palm

the only one really crying was kindaichi while kunimi and watari were also just sitting down

kindaichi’s sobs echoed throughout the gym and as you walked closer, you heard his stomach growl and you instantly knew how to calm him down

the sausage you picked up to feed the strays with kyo later was still in your bag so you peeled the wrapper about halfway and handed it to him

kindaichi stared at it and you had to guide it in his mouth to start eating just to ensure him it was safe and he could eat

the thunder seemed to have died down and all that remained was rain

the boys were starting to shiver from the cold and you were sure the heat in the gym was working before you left but now it wasnt because of the power shutting down

it wouldnt be good if they remained in this cold environemnt and you suddenly remembered that you were still soaked from the rain and was getting colder by the second

maybe it was the panic that shot up your adrenaline and didnt let you realize your own situation

each boy had their jackets thrown to the side but you quickly put it on them so you could bundle them up as best as you can

their shoes were too large for them so you ran to the storage room where there were plastic bags that you used to tie around their feet with their socks

iwa noticed your trembling body and he shakily stood up and ran over to you

you finished tying kindaichi’s bag when you noticed iwa standing there with his arms stretched towards you

‘hug’

he squeaked and you sniffled before wrapping him in your arms and holding him close to you

it seems iwa still possessed his protective instincts from before

by the time all the boys were ready, the rain thankfully reduced to simple sprinkles and you made everyone hold hands

the boys stood on a row in front of you and you seriously talked to them

‘no matter what, never let go of your friend, okay? even you yahaba, kyotani’

the two gave each other a glare but they still clenched each other’s hands

you grasped oikawa and iwa’s hands and the others formed a chain with mattsun holding iwa’s and makki holding oikawa’s and so forth

you figured you could just leave their bags in the gym so you were walking as fast as you could towards home where it would be warm and a safe place to figure out a plan

natsu has seen a lot in his years of living and from being in nekoma in general

but he has been shocked to see this

it was already late and your parents were both at some business trip and he knew you were supposed to be home already but you werent

he was about to call you when the doorbell rang and he figured it was just some person convincing him to be christian

he opened the door, exasperated and irritated

‘listen, im the biggest sinner that has ever-Y/N!’

he shouted in surprise 

there, you stood, shaking and red with a bunch of toddlers

what in the world

‘natsu. m-move’

you stuttered out and he couldnt help but do what you said and he made way for you and the little ducklings

the little boy from the back, the one with yellow eyes, glared at him as he walked past and natsu shook his head in disbelief

‘wha-’

you ran to the temp screen button thing bro i dont know what it is but i have something like an echobee thats like that to turn up the temperature in the house

the boys were still excitedly babbling on about some movie and they were singing songs 

‘PONYO PONYO PONYO-’

poor natsu just stood at the archway by the living room

‘oi, y/n. please tell me you didnt kidnap a bunch of kids’

there was no teasing tone, just pure confusion

you didnt look up from the temp thing and you configured it to rest at 75 degrees fahrenheit fyi

‘something happened. something weird and bad happened. it shouldnt even be possible but it did and im so confused and i dont know what to do’

you rambled and you turned to look at the kids

natsu noticed your frazzled form and he gently grabbed a blanket to drape over you so you could get warm and led you to sit on the couch

‘just tell me, babes. we’ll figure it out’

he reassured and you sighed

‘i-i,,, was g-going to the-the convience store to-uh-get some umbrelllas for the boys but,,, when i was there,, there was a big thunder and boomed and lightining and i knew,,,,i knew there was something wrong and something had happened so i ran back and then bam! i saw them as kids!’

natsu trailed over from your face to the boys and he started to piece together that yes, this was your team

the brunette boy he messed around with and the one with the adorable eyebrows

‘y/n,, babes,, did you dabble with voodoo? bad juju?’

he whispered and you almost cried

‘no! why would i?!’

‘THEN WHY THE HELL ARE THEY BABIES?!’

‘I DONT KNOW! IM NOT DUMBLEDORE!’

‘what are we going to tell their parents?!’

‘that their kids turned to babies?!’

‘yea right! might as well tell them the earth is flat!’

you both went silent for a bit before natsu sighed then turned to you

‘babes, go and shower. go and get warm while i take care of the kids. youre soaked and youre freezing and you’ll get sick. besides, they shouldnt be that bad, right?’

not even caring to answer that question and completely not hearing it, you nodded and groggily went to go bath

the boys saw you leave and they looked at natsu with either wide scared eyes or glaring eyes

especially the boy with the yellow eyes

natsu smirked

‘i know you. what was it? dog? crazy dog?’

there was clear offense in kyo’s face and he easily jumped to natsu’s lap and grabbed his hair to tug on it

‘yey! play time!’

oikawa shrieked and everyone shouted in agreement before joining kyo

natsu screamed as they punched his stomach and pulled his hair

you were in the middle of rinsing your hair when you heard the screams and you thought it was the boys but you recognized them as natsu’s

you continued showering

the boys were having fun beating up your cousin and natsu seriously wondered if you were taking your sweet time just to let them have their fun

‘oi! if you dont stop! i wont let you play mario kart!’

the boy with a middle part stopped tugging his hair followed by the one with the spiky turnip looking hair

‘maiyo,,,, kat?’

ALKSDFJLSDKFJDFKJDS BABY KINDAICHI STILL NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEAK PROPERLY

natsu saw them both stop and he excitedly sat up

‘yea! mario kart! you want to play mario kart?! oh my! its so much more fun than playing with natsu-nii!’

he didnt care what they wanted to do as long as it didnt involve him being getting beaten up so he quickly assembled the console and they all rallied around natsu as he set up the game

‘okay. we can play with 4 players at a time. who’s going first?’

there was a bit of hostility among the children as they turned their former soft gazes to hard and competitive looks

‘me!’

‘i wanna!’

‘me!me!me!’

‘stop it kawa-chan!’

‘iwa-chan ow!’

there was great uproar while natsu sighed in relief and leaned against the back of the couch, watching in amusement

there were punches thrown, some shoves, but they ultimately decided on players

begrudgingly it was kyo, kindaichi, mattsun, and watari

the others stayed behind with a pout on their lips and sulked

but as soon as they started playing, those sad looks disappeared and they scooted closer to watch it with interest

‘GO MAKKI! GO!’

‘KENKEN HURRY!’

the only one who wasn’t so in to it was the one with the spiky black hair and green eyes

‘hey, kid, what’s wrong?’

natsu asked and he didnt answer but just looked at him before turning to watch the tv silently

he was about to ask again when you appeared and the boys cheered at your arrival before turning back on the game

you were refreshed and you sat on the loveseat next to natsu’s place on the couch

‘they seem to be having fun’

you smiled but natsu crinkled his eyebrows then pointed to a figure behind the rest

‘the kid’s just been sitting there. i dont know if hes just like that or what but hes not really doing anything’

‘oh, thats just iwa-san. hes normally like that. look. iwa-san! can you please come here?’

at the call for his name, the boy perked up and he excitedly clambered over to sit on your lap

he leaned his back against your chest and you ran your fingers through his hair

‘why are you just sitting there, hm? do you not want to play?’

you spoke softly and he shook his head, eyes still on the match

‘friends are happy when playing. i like my friends. im okay’

despite the very child-like voice, there was a sense of maturity in there and you weren’t sure if they still carried the same memories as they had back when they were already teenagers

‘iwa-san, do you know me?’

you asked and he looked up to look at your face

then he shook his head

‘no’

you blanched

and so did natsu

‘so let me get this straight, kid. you let some random stranger take you to their house?’

iwa shrugged

‘she help me and friends. she nice’

you almost squealed but held back and you tightened your arms around him

‘youre sweet, iwa-san’

‘y/n, you could literally be charged of kidnapping right now’

natsu ruined the moment and you glared at him

‘im just trying out a way to help them. and besides, they couldve screamed and cried and ran out but they didnt so i didnt take them against their will’

natsu rolled his eyes before standing up

‘well, im hungry. and these kids cant exactly have take-out. imma go see if we have any food left’

he left you alone with the kids and you encouraged the others to win by cheering for them and smiling at the way they were laughing

man, no matter what age, you still love them

natsu peaked his head out from the doorway

‘we got dino nugggets’

you nodded

‘those should be good’

natsu returned to his spot on the couch and you stared at him

‘what? im too scared to do anything to the oven. remember when i broke the other one?’

you sighed and shook your head

iwa noticed you needing to get up so he was about to move when you placed him on natsu’s lap

‘iwa-san, natsu-kun will take care of you for now, okay?’

iwa didnt object but he didnt like it either

you were pressing the timer on the oven and you opened it to change the racks when you noticed a small figure and hands and feet trying to climb in

in shock, you dropped the rack and grabbed kunimi’s small body

‘kunimi akira! what were you thinking?!’

the baby’s eyes were half-lidded and he looked really tired and the oven was radiating warmth and he thought he could climb in it and sleep

but you knew that he would literally DIE 

you ran him back to the living room and natsu was shocked to hear of what happened

‘HUH?’

‘yea. so try and make sure none of them does something dangerous’

you pleaded and he nodded before taking kunimi’s hand and urging the kid to sleep on his lap instead

you were finally cooking the nuggets and while it cooked, you were grabbing any leftovers for you and natsu to eat

there was little bit of rice and some tonkatsu left so you heated that up and continued to cook until everything was finished

‘boys! natsu! dinner!’

at the mention of food, the kids dropped the controllers and raced to go to the kitchen

natsu trailed behind with a half-asleep kunimi in his arms and iwa who held his hand

‘FOOD!’

kindaichi and oikawa shrieked

you gave each boy their own portion of food and you gave natsu his dinner

‘to be honest, i was surprised we had enough nuggets’

natsu was surprised at the nuggets you still had in the freezer

you shrugged

‘at this point, im not even surprised at anything anymore. i think im just in a dream and im controlling it and somehow, the universe is bending itself to help me’

natsu stared at you as if you grew three heads before chuckling and returning to his food

however

there was no such thing as peaceful dinner with the boys

yahaba was crying that kyo took some of his nuggies

kunimi tried to have one bite of his chicken before toppling over to the side and falling asleep

mattsun was tricking makki by pointing somewhere and when the brownette turns, he would take a nugget

oikawa tried it and iwa almost fell for it but he caught his best friend in time resulting him to hit the choco-hair boy and making tooru cry from the booboo

you sighed, rubbing your temples

‘i swear. my head’

you whined and natsu patted your back before he disappeared somewhere, presumably his room, to get away from the madness

your temper was rising and with how exhausted youve been and the incoming cold you feel is making you irritated

‘BOYS’

of course they stopped as they got scared by your tone and if they were teenagers, they would have the same reaction because youve never used this tone on them

‘kindaichi, wake up kunimi. kyotani, matsukawa, eat your own nuggets. yahaba, oikawa, stop crying. kyotani apologize to yahaba for eating his nuggets and hug him. you too, iwaizumi apologize to tooru for hitting him and hug him’

‘BUT-’

the boys started but you shot them a look

‘NOW’

‘sorry’

they mumbled and they looked at you before going to give the other a hug

‘bakakawa’

iwaizumi mumbled and tooru was about to cry but you scolded iwaizumi again

‘iwa, we don’t call people stupid’

he stared at you then turned away, an obvious pout on his lips and pushed his plate away to sulk

wow 

is parenting this hard?

watari calmly ate his food and you smiled

you scooped him in your arms and you held him close

‘come on, everyone. when youre done eating, how about we watch ponyo? hm?’

as if they werent just sulking, they all cheered and abandoned their food to go running to the living room where you put the movie on

halfway through the movie, someone wanted something sweet

you had iwa on your right, mattsun on your left, watari on your lap and oikawa by your feet so you werent exactly at the position to make something

‘nee-chan, i want choco’

makki asked and you sucked in a sharp breath to calm yourself from how cute he was

you gently asked the others to move so you could go but they held on to a part of you

mattsun and iwa with your arms, watari holding your shirt, oikawa holding your leg

‘come on, guys.do you want choco?’

‘but-but-but’

oikawa blubbered

‘please dont go’

mattsun pleaded quietly

‘ill be back! i swear! please?’

begrudgingly, they let go and you stretched out your legs when you stood up then walked to the kitchen

as you opened the door, you were looking through something when you saw a reflection from the glass of a face

you shrieked and looked behind you, expecting some murderer but it was actually a line of the boys

it was like they followed you into the kitchen like ducklings following their mama duck

‘kyotani!’

you wheezed, seeing it was his face that you saw with those beautiful eyes

‘we missed you, nee-chan’

kindaichi whined with a small voice

you noticed that kunimi wasnt with the group so you assumed he was asleep on the couch

‘you scared nee-chan, boys. but it’s okay’

their puppy eyes made you cry inside but you ushered them to go to the dining room so they could wait there for their drinks

you poured chocolate milk for everyone except for tooru as he was lactose intolerant so you gave him chocolate oat milk

they brought the glass to their lips as you drank coffee and they lit up at the delicious taste

‘mmmm’

they giggled and you chuckled before reaching over to wipe makki’s top lip

‘thank you nee-chan!’

oikawa grinned and they all agreed

‘youre welcome. nee-chan will take care of you when you need it’

by the time midnight struck, you were already in a cuddle pile with the boys

they all fell asleep and you were being laid on by the others

natsu came down for water and saw you being smothered by bodies but he thought it was cute so he took a picture for you to see in the morning

he found the remote and turned off the movie and tv before wishing a whisper of a good night then headed back to his room

the room was filled with snores and you were dead asleep

but you couldnt help but squeeze back the tiny hand that gripped yours

--------------------

mrs l/n and mr. l/n groggily made their way up to the front door

‘god, its so late. im so tired. i want to sleep’

mrs l/n complained

mr l/n immediately fished out his keys and he turned the door to enter their home

it was very quiet and dark so they figured that both you and natsu already went to bed

they dumped their luggage at the entrance, bothering to unpack tomorrow and were making their way to the kitchen for a water 

mrs l/n was making her way to the bathroom when she heard a groan from the living room

her eyes shot wide open and she thought she was so tired that she was hallucinating

but nope

her eyes transfixed itself on a figure that was standing at the middle of the living room

with a shaking hand, she reached over to flicker the lights on and she shrieked at the sight of a naked man

tooru felt sleep immediately leave him at the sound of the woman’s shriek and his eyes fell on someone by the doorway and she was not staring at his face

instead

down there

he followed her sight and my god

oikawa screamed

a/n: hehehe happy new years!!! well,, belated new years!! but we really starting the new year with a buck naked oikawa and a traumatized mom aren’t we? but i hope everyone had a great holiday and im so excited for the start of the new year and what it has in store for us!!! sending much love!!!

[torilovestowrite]

Dabi x Reader; Try Again pt. 8

Synopsis: Years ago, (Y/n) was left by her villain boyfriend, Dabi after discovering an unexpected news. Ever since then, she never had a lover— focusing on her only son, Yuta. Later on, she meets Todoroki Touya— a new co-worker who seem to be persistent towards winning her heart and attention.

Ship: Dabi x Fem! Reader

❗❗❗Content Warning: Mentions of Abortion, Unplanned Pregnancy, Manga spoilers, Dabi is a Todoroki theory

🖤 » Chapter Navigation « 🖤

"Yuta L/n, you're not going out!" Y/n strictly reprimanded as she tried to keep her son still from his position, lying on bed with a cold towel on his forehead.

It was during a Wednesday when Yuta, y/n's son, had a fever that reached over 41 degrees. Y/n felt threatened about this because her son has never reached this temperature. It's too high— and he also stated something about his body feeling heavy. What could be happening?

"B-but... we're about to watch a movie in school today! I don't want to miss it!" Yuta began bawling his eyes out while Y/n sighed at his dramatic tone. Does it really have to be like this? Yuta has to be emotional and sensitive every time he gets sick? This only reminds her of him— the way he would caress her soft hands every time she would tend his wounds every after a tiring day— the man he used to love, Dabi, would appear to be more gentle and affectionate every time he gets worn out... or ill.

"We're going to watch a movie while you take a rest here at home, okay?" Y/n gently tapped her son's side in an attempt to make him close his eyes and sleep. "For now, take a rest. Or else, it would take longer before you could go outside."

Immediately, Yuta turned his back from his mother in an attempt to be more comfortable; and to have a good sleep. Y/n smiled at his actions. Good thing, her son has always been considerate on her hardwork and the way she disciplines him.

It wasn't too long until she heard a notification from her phone— a message coming from Touya.

touya ❣ : good morning y/n. how's ur pretty face doing?

It's been four months since y/n realized her feelings for Touya. Both of them started dating two months ago and so far, he has been understanding towards her obligations as a mother. Most of their dates included Yuta and there are times when Touya would volunteer to watch over him while she's away during her day shifts. Y/n could never ask for anything— Touya was doing his job greatly; as a boyfriend and as a paternal figure to Yuta.

you : yeah, i'm all good babe. thanks for asking. but yuta's sick rn... i dont really have anyone to take care of him and i need to go for my day shift.

touya ❣ : you want me to go for it? i mean, i only work during nights anyways

Y/n's smile lit up as she read his message. Finally! She thought. She could go to work!

you: sure thing babe 💗✨

Few more minutes, when Yuta has finally travelled to dreamland, Y/n left the house, wearing her thick f/c coat with her hair styled to become more neat-looking. Another day for work, she thought.

It's been two hours since Touya arrived in Y/n's home. Using the spare key under her house's doormat, he decided to enter her house that was silent when he went inside. Until he heard a child's high-pitched scream coming from Yuta's bedroom. His instinct caused him to immediately run towards this direction; but what he saw caused a heavy sensation in his chest. Those familiar blue flames that was once his signature— as Dabi; the heartless villain who claimed 30 innocent lives.

"U-Uncle T-Touya!" Yuta cried in panic while his right hand was burning with blue and heated fire. "W-What should I do?! M-my—"

"Breathe." Touya immediately replied as he kneeled next to him, rubbing his back with his huge and rough hands. "You have to control your breathing and your emotions. You have to control it because the more you panic, the more it will get stronger."

Yuta closed his eyes and focused in calming himself down— taking deep breaths and thinking about things that he liked in life— ice cream, Y/n, Uncle Touya, pro-heroes... all the things that makes him happy. Slowly, the fire became smaller and smaller— until nothing appeared on his hands.

"I-It's gone! The blue flames!" Yuta exclaimed as a grin crept on his face. "Did you see that awesome thing on my hand, Uncle Touya?! That must be my quirk, right?"

"Yes, it's an awesome quirk that you have." Touya smiled sadly as he stared at the young and naive child— as if he was seeing his past self; the pure child who was corrupted by his father's evil desires and deeds. It was all fun and games knowing he has an awesome quirk like that... until his father, Enji Todoroki, decided to ruin everything for him.

But he swore to be someone better than him; to be a man suitable to be called a father.

That afternoon, Y/n arrived at her home with such beautiful sight; Touya and Yuta scooped in each others' arms while the movie was left streaming. She smiled at the sight. It was so cute. For a few seconds, she almost believed that Touya was Yuta's father. The young mother couldn't help it but to take a picture of the two while having their peaceful slumber.

"I saw you," Touya spoke, "Delete it."

Y/n giggled as Touya stood up from his position as he tried to grab the phone away from her hands. It was such a cute sight. She was sticking her tongue out while she was trying to chase him. Y/n couldn't help but to feel as if they were all.. what? 17? Whatever, it felt cute, though.

"Yeah, whatever. Have that pic all you want. You can even make it your wallpaper." Y/n got her cheeks pinched by him as he gave her a light kiss on the nose. "I'm going now, sweet cheeks, I'm attending night shift for tonight."

"Sure, sure." Y/n smiled, planting a kiss on his cheek, as she watched his lean and toned figure leave their house. All that's left is her and Yuta. Slowly, his eyes opened to see his mother watching him sleep.

"Mommy?" Yuta spoke in a drowsy tone.

Y/n responded, hugging her son beside her while his eyes still looked sleepy. Seems that the sleep wasn't enough for him, huh? The young lady laughed at this, ruffling his hair, and deciding to ask him. "How was your day with Uncle Touya? Is it better than it was when you're at school?"

The young lad aggressively nodded and decided to tell Y/n the greatest thing that he discovered today.

"My quirk just manifested, ma! I have blue flames!" Yuta exclaimed as he tried to show it off with the tip of his fingers. Y/n's eyes widened at this— it created a tingling feeling in her heart. It was like a slap on her face. Yuta is really Dabi's son, isn't he?

"T-That's awesome." Y/n replied, trying to stop tears from flowing.

While her son was still busy talking about his day, her hands were able to feel something on the couch. It was... hard. She pulled out to see a black leather wallet. Did Touya forget his stuff here? Y/n sighed at his forgetfulness. Well, he's a person, she thought, so he has flaws too.

"Did Uncle Touya forget that, ma?" Yuta asked in a polite tone. "Bring it back to him tomorrow, okay?"

Y/n smiled at what he said. She really raised her son well. "Sure!"

It was night time. Yuta went back to sleep and Y/n was busy contemplating inside her room— walking back and forth; thinking about whether she should check his stuff or what.

It's not what others would think. It's just that it's been two months since they got together but Touya only says few things about himself. All she knew is that his parents are living overseas and he's left alone here. He has siblings who lived with their parents in abroad. Nothing more, nothing less.

Aside from that, it wouldn't hurt to peek just a little bit, right?

Y/n sighed as she finally came to a conclusion to check his wallet to see if there's something that would tell more about himself. It's not like she was nosy. She just wants to get to know him at a better level. He's quite of a silent and mysterious guy himself, which got the young lady curious about him.

Of course, there was nothing new; just few IDs, bunch of credit cards (which Y/n thought was odd because if he had this much money, why would he work in an old bar as a bartender), and a thin wad of cash. Nothing else— until something that was so unordinary in her eyes— fell.

Her eyes widened as she saw that memoribilia. No words could come out from her mouth. Her vision felt so dark; as if it was slowly fading; and her heart hurt so much. Only tears could come out from her eyes. No scream, no words, no phrases— simply, nothing.

"Y-you..." Her fists clenched tightly as her form started shaking— she didn't know what to feel. Is it anger, sadness, remorse— what should she feel first? She began to wail as she stared and touched at this object from the past. Whatever that happened was too painful for her to bear.

"You fooled me... Dabi."

That night, Touya was looking for his wallet. It was nowhere to be found; not even in his car. Maybe he left it at your place? Well, whatever the circumstances are, he was hoping that none of you would be able to find it. Maybe, he'd drive towards your place again and—

His thoughts were interrupted as his phone rang. The caller ID showed Y/n— and a selfie that she sent him as the profile picture. Immediately, he answered it.

"Hello, bab—"

"Don't you babe me. We have to talk." Y/n's voice sounded cold and harsh. She was angry... and he knew it. Touya knew that tone several years ago; and if he hears that, he knows that hell will break because of her wrath.

"What is it?"

"Stop acting dumb." Y/n scoffed.

"How the hell are you alive, Dabi?"

Taglist [OPEN]: @babayaga67 @marydragneell @xxtrash-kingxx @paranoiac-666 @velvet-kissesss @orenjineki @mermaid-starlet @ikita454 @yo-girl-lunar @pansexual-booknerd @daimiyu

a/n: i kinda did stop updating this but like bnha chapter 290 got me like 😭😭😭😭 dabi can i give u a hug plspslslslsl 😗😗

[donkey-hyuck]

𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒃; 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑨𝒓𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒂: 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

three card spreads↴

tarot cards;

the hermit (upright) 

contemplation, search for truth, inner guidance

strength (upright)

inner strength, bravery, compassion, focus

the emperor (reversed)

tyranny, rigidity, coldness

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

word count- 18,355 (woah wtf😳) 

genre- angst baby || fluff || yk just pure angst || high school! au in the beginning || college!au || bittersweet ||

characters/pairing- kinda popular kid!lee jeno x fem!volleyball player!reader || nct dream including mark || sooyoung

warnings- swearing | mentions of cheating but only accusations | dialogue heavy | lowercase letters intended | over usage of words bc i’m irrelevant | spelling/grammar mistakes | a whole relationship rollercoaster | jeno’s a dickhead | lots of self pondering

introduction- maybe you two just had enough of each other. being involved in one another’s lives could have just taken a huge toll on the both of you. so after finally separating practically your whole lives, you may both think you’re fine; but inside, neither of you can let each other go. one heated argument leads to another and you may have just lost your best friend, the love of your life… or maybe you didn’t…. or maybe you did.

taglist! @badwithten​, @jenoji​, @joyfuleggsfishbanana​, @proseeuhn​, @danishmiilk���

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

“mommy! jeno just pulled my hair!” your five year old self shouted as five year old jeno huffed and turned the other way. his mother had been out for the day for a job interview and your mother had promised to take care of him. the two of your mothers’ had been friends since middle school, grew up together, went through their adolescence, helped each other with university work. they were the best of friends, inseparable. and when they found out they were both pregnant at the same time, they were ecstatic to raise their children together.

you and jeno had known each other your entire lives up to that point. he was only four months older than you but he acted as if he was so superior, and it just made you ticked off. throughout elementary school—mostly kindergarten and first grade— the two of you never got along and fought constantly. your mothers’ tried to make you like each other but to no avail.

“mom! y/n pinched me!” five year old jeno yelled to his mother as you stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your arms. your mother had brought you along to their house when that happened and it just seemed as if the two of you would never get along.

but all that changed when you entered middle school. well, not completely, but you had his back when he needed it. mostly when you were forced to help tutor jeno in your science class, or when he had a crush on one of your good friends. he had your back too, telling you not to get into fights with the girls who thought they were so much better than you, or trying to set you up on dates with his friends. middle school was truly a place where you and jeno put away whatever feud the two of you had going on. middle school with jeno was actually fun, graduating your eighth grade class, messing around with teachers, meeting new friends. there was just so much enjoyment for the both of you during those years.

when high school came along, the two of you had been in separate classes, you being put in advanced placement and jeno being put in stem. that was kind of the first time you have been separated from each other at school. during your primary days, you and jeno had the same schedules and it seemed like fate wanted you two together. but when you entered high school, you were both more distant toward each other, specifically during all of junior and most of senior year.

freshman year was more of an experience. it was weird to not see jeno through the halls, let alone not have classes with him. but the two of you were just as inseparable as your mothers’, and met up with each other after school anyway, whether it was your mom picking the two of you up or his.

you were two peas in a pod and had seemed to always be teased by your peers, even when you denied liking each other. if it was true or not, no one had believed you and the two of you were stuck as the couple throughout the entirety of freshman year.

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.” as you two said.

but new years of 2016 all changed the way jeno had perceived you. he was invited to a new years party with a few of his friends— na jaemin and lee donghyuck— and jeno had seemingly been gullible enough to believe the lies people were saying about you. about how you started the rumor of him dating a model his age from overseas, the rumor about him making out with younghee during his free period one thursday morning, or the rumor about him liking eunseo. he was furious to know that you were the one who spread all of the gossip around school, pushing past the idea that you and him had been connected by the hip since you were born. pushing past the idea that you truly weren’t like that. but jeno was enraged, nonetheless.

while he was feeding off of lies people had told him that night, your family— as well as his— were spending the new year right. you and your family had been invited to the lee’s for the countdown and you noticed your best friend wasn’t there.

“y/n! jeno’s not here, he’s with donghyuck and jaemin for a new years party tonight. i hope you won’t be bored here,” said his mother with a look of disappointment in her eyes. you shook your head and smiled, “it’s okay, aunty. i have minjung!” although you were excited to have some alone girl time with his older sister, jeno had never told you about attending a new years party that night. and to think about it more, hyuck nor jaem had told you either. it was weird. but you just pushed that all aside and walked down the hall to minjung’s room. at the time you were fifteen and she was eighteen and a well-known senior at your high school.

“minjung!” you bursted through her door and she immediately ran to hug you. “y/n! i missed you!” she hugged back as nal nudged your calf in a greeting. picking up the feline, you walked out of the room to eat and sit in the living room to play some family games.

your two families counted down together and it was officially 2016. your parents had decided to stay for another hour before going back home. but during that hour, hyuck’s mom had dropped off jeno and he was met with your families laughing and having the time of their lives together. another year, another long friendship that was to never end; or so your parents thought.

jeno came home upset that night. he felt betrayed and disappointed that you would say those things about him but all the more that made him angry. his mother had greeted him but he coldly shook it off and took to his room. you were shocked, jeno never acted that way towards his mother. you didn’t notice how quiet it was until your parents nudged you to talk to him.

“uhm.. aunty, uncle. i’ll go talk to jeno, see what’s up with him.” and for some unknown reason, you were nervous walking down to his bedroom.

carefully, you knocked and let yourself slide through the door, “jen…? are you okay? why’d you do that to your mom?” your voice was soft, just more of a way to not trust you. you were a hoax. at least, to jeno you were.

“i’m fine, y/n. get out of my room, i need to shower,” he rushed you out only making you want to say and ask a million questions about what was going on in that moment.

“no. what’s wrong with you? what happened tonight?” your brows furrowed and that was when he turned to you with stone cold eyes.

“none of your business. now get out!”

you don’t think jeno had made you cry since you were little but this was the first time a tear had shed because of the person you cared most about. however, you could never really recall why you cried that night. it wasn’t a bawling kind of cry, more of a sniffly kind of cry. whether it was frustration or shock, you walked out of his room as you wiped your tears with your sweater. it’s probably only a mood, you tried to convince yourself.

boy were you wrong.

the next few months were like this; you constantly trying to get jeno’s attention, crying about losing your best friend, and questioning what had happened to get him so upset at you. it was all a mind-fuck and you missed jeno. and by the time sophomore year was over, you and jeno had seemed to become less and less involved with each other when your parents were invited to their house or vice versa. around midway summer vacation before junior year, you stopped trying to get jeno’s attention because you clearly didn’t matter to him anymore.

both of your parents were confused as to why you stopped talking all of a sudden. you two still saw each other, yes, but there was nothing past the glaring looks of pure hatred. ever since that night, there was never a spare of words between the two of you and your mothers’ were worried.

one morning, before driving off to school, your mother had asked you, “y/n, why don’t you and jeno talk anymore?

“jeno, why don’t you and y/n talk anymore?”

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated.”

—

graduation was two months away and it had been officially two years and a couple months since your friendship breakup.

“hello!! earth to y/n,” waved hyuck with his hands in front of your face. “what’s up with you right now?”

after breaking the news to mutual friends, donghyuck had been stuck between the two of you for the longest time but opted to just stay friends with you and jeno because that wasn’t a petty thing to do. jaemin on the other hand, was a different story. after jeno told jaemin you weren’t friends before he told hyuck, jaemin had texted you to meet by the library to ‘talk.’ turned out, jaemin wanted to stay loyal to his friend and disregard you and your feelings; and that was the end of that relationship. so you basically lost two of your bestest friends within a span of a week without a clue as to why. that was the big question, though…. why?

you blinked as you looked toward his direction. “what do you want, hyuck?” he sighed before answering, “first class is free period, dummy. mrs. choi isn’t here today.” you slowly sighed as well, as donghyuck took you by your hand and dragged you out of the empty classroom.

“let’s go to mr. park’s. we can stay there until class ends. today’s long period anyway,” he explained, dragging you down the hall and up two flights of stairs. donghyuck barged into the room causing everyone to immediately look at the loud boy crashing the lecture.

“lee donghyuck! y/f/n! what are you two doing here? shouldn’t you be in mrs. choi’s room?” mr. park raised a brow.

“ayy mr. park! y/n and i are here because mrs. choi couldn’t make it to class today. besides, you’re our favorite teacher, why else would we come here?” the teacher hummed and excused you to sit at his, fairly large, desk. “just don’t bother my students,” he warned, mostly talking to hyuck. he only responded in a wink and signed a ‘keep going.’

about twenty minutes of unproductive work had passed and you finally looked up to observe the students in mr. park’s stem class. his room wasn’t that big and there were only about nineteen to twenty-four kids in the class. scanning the room, your eyes were met with jeno’s. you slightly snickered as your eyes twitched in annoyance and turned to hyuck.

“hey, guess who’s here.” his brows furrowed as he looked around, finally getting to see jeno. but being the good friend that he was, hyuck waved at jeno before greeting him. they apparently had a handshake and mr. park seemed to notice as he told hyuck to sit back down and for jeno to focus on his work. the tan boy pouted before sitting back at his seat, making some of the girls laugh.

he came back to sit next to you and you rolled your eyes toward jeno and turned to the boy. “really?”

“whaaat? just because you two aren’t friends doesn’t mean that he and i can’t.” what hyuck said was true. you shouldn’t let your aggravation get the best of you. it was donghyuck’s decision to be and to not be friends with people. you huffed out a fine and turned back to your laptop that does not have any completed assignments— though there were only two that you hadn’t done yet. but you knew that free period class was gonna be torture for the next hour or so.

your second period class was, fortunately, in mr. park’s room with hyuck. however, jeno happened to have mrs. choi for second period and asked mr. park to stay in his class for the time being. so while the three of you waited for the students to attend, jeno and hyuck had been messing around and the room filled with their laughter. soon, as the teacher was getting ready for his class, a couple of your extroverted classmates joined along in their joking as you just sat quietly next to hyuck.

while ten minutes had passed of mr. park talking and explaining something along the lines of graphical analysis, hyuck whispered, “what’s up with you today? you’re eerily quieter than usual.” yeah… why were you quieter today?

“uh, i don’t know, hyuck. maybe i’m just not feeling it today, i guess,” you shrugged and looked back to the class work stuck on your desk. then your mind wandered off to the conversation you had with your mother that morning.

“how? you two were the best of friends. what happened to ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart?’” she asked, shoving down a spoonful of rice. but you just shrugged and replied, “hm, i don’t know, mom. he hasn’t spoken a word to me since new years of 2016. it’s been two years. besides, if he doesn’t want to be friends with me without telling the reason, then that’s on him. i quit trying a long time ago.”

it was true. after jeno pushed you off on multiple occasions, you had stopped trying to get on good terms again. he was the immature one in the first place; you just tried to fix whatever was going on.

but soon enough, second period was over and out you were to mr. yang’s ap chemistry class. sooyoung— one of your closest girl friends— had happened to be in that class as well so when you entered the room she immediately called you over. you sat down at the lab table where she was seated and rested your face against it.

“what’s wrong, y/n?” she asked, making you look up at her while rubbing your face from all the questions about your sudden change in behavior.

“nothing much. well… mrs. choi isn’t here today so hyuck dragged me to mr. park’s class and that asshole lee jeno was in there,” you explained to her but she got confused because you never really associated yourself with him since the sudden split. she was about to ask why you were so caught up with him all of a sudden but it was as if you could read her mind because your next sentence was, “my mom asked me about him this morning. she’s still bugging me about why we aren’t friends… his mom too, i’m sure. and i’ve just been thinking about it. usually she would ask and i would answer the same and be fine but i guess today is just not my day.” you'd be lying if you said you didn’t miss lee jeno. you truly did. after all the shenanigans you’ve been through, lee jeno was always by your side.

ugh just stop thinking about it. you told yourself, mentally slapping your face and turning toward the board. but throughout the entire class, you did not pay attention to a word that came out of mr. yangs’ mouth.

once the bell rang, you were snapped out of your trance and quickly packed your things to go to your fourth class of the day— mrs. lim.

walking up the stairs, you met donghyuck in the halls and told him to hurry to mrs. lim’s class before she gets upset. providentially, mrs. lim was short period and there wasn’t much to do besides take notes.

“y/n who do you have next?” donghyuck asked as he waited for you to walk to the door and out to the hallway. “language with ms. jung. you should know this by now, hyuck,” you playfully shook your head and punched his shoulder. he ignored it and asked another question, “oh! so you have first lunch?” you nodded and walked down the stairs to the first floor library.

“yeah but i’m not gonna eat. plus, i don’t know anyone during my lunch.”

hyuck dramatically covered his mouth and gasped. “yes you do, what the fuck? hello… me, duh!” you laughed at his extra self and stuck your hands in your pockets. “i mean besides you. everyone wants to sit with you anyways. and you know i don’t really eat lunch.” your response only made him pout and look at you with a weird face expression. “you know i would rather sit with you any day right, y/n?” you smiled brightly and looked at him. “... i know, but i’m just not hungry. i’ll be in the library for lunch, and after ms. jung’s class. mrs. bae isn’t here today either so i’m just going to spend my time there.”

he muttered in disappointment as he dropped you off at the library before heading to the cafeteria.

“bye stupid. thanks for walking with me.” he smirked and turned around. “bye ugly. i’ll see you here in two hours. love you.”

“love you too.” but a pair of brown eyes watched the whole scene. the scene that made his heart slowly break.

you walked into the library and sat at a vacant three seater table and pulled out whatever you had to finish out of your bag. five minutes had passed of you typing on your computer when a fellow junior— park jisung— walked through the double doors and immediately recognized his favorite senior— you.

“y/n!” he whisper shouted while speed walking to the table you were sitting at. smiling at him, you pulled the chair next to you so he would have a place to sit. then you asked him why he was here.

“mrs. choi isn’t present today so i’m just gonna stay here. mrs. bae isn’t here either, chenle’s gonna come during last period too,” he explained while getting out his computer and a notebook. mrs. bae was your ceramics teacher and it seemed like there were a lot of teachers absent that day; but it was only a regular friday.

after conversing with jisung for another twenty minutes the loud bell signified the end of first lunch and off you were to your language class with ms. jung. you left the library after packing up and bidding jisung a short ‘see ya later.’

however, you forgot lee jeno was also in ms. jung’s class with you until you saw the back of his head turn straight into her room. fuck.

shortly after he walked in and sat down, you walked through the door and toward the back of the class to sit at one of the desks. and you swore jeno was eyeing you down as you passed him, and not in a good way.

but to jeno… he was eyeing you because he just missed you. he missed hanging out with you, especially during class. ever since he had that chat with his mom that morning— as well as seeing you with hyuck in mr. park’s class, and seeing you two announce your appreciation towards each other— he realized that he fucking missed you. so much.

that day was a friday too, so your parents were definitely going over the lee’s tonight. mentally, you rolled your eyes and shut your brain from thinking anything else and to just listen to what ms. jung had planned for the day.

school was boring, though. and your class just continued doing whatever you did during your class, prior.

“okay guys! we’re together for short period on monday, make sure you finish your research over the weekend. you’re free to go.”

you just stuffed your notebook into your bag and walked up the aisle. but you stopped right when jeno had dropped his pen. he picked it up and looked at you,  quietly apologizing. you hadn’t heard him, though; he was too quiet so you just paused until he picked it up and walked out of class to the front lobby. he should’ve just spoken up but he was too late.

mrs. bae didn’t have a substitute to fill in for her so you walked to the library, planning to sit at the same table which, thankfully, already seated chenle and jisung. you sat across from the boys and sighed, laying your head down again.

“what’s wrong?” asked chenle. you lifted your head up and lazily smiled before shaking your head.

“nothing. today’s just been tiring, that’s all. you two do your work. i’m gonna try to take a nap.” they both nodded and let you rest for the remaining time, making sure to wake you up before the bell rang.

—

“hyuck!” you ran up to him. he picked you up from your house that morning and so he was going to drop you off. “we have to pick up jangmi today. she stayed after school to help her teachers prepare for their spring formal.”

“really? sungho stayed after school too. what a coincidence,” he chuckled as he unlocked the car door and started it up. jangmi was your little sister in seventh grade and sungho was donghyuck’s younger brother in the same grade, attending the same school. what your poor little sister didn’t know was that sungho had a tiny little crush on her. so said from sungho to hyuck. it was cute.

they both greeted the two of you and talked about their day staying after school.

“are you guys going to the dance together?” asked donghyuck with a slight laugh, making sungho flush red and stutter, “uh.. i don’t know. it’s up to jangmi. but i don’t have a date yet.” his little brothers response made hyuck laugh and you hit his stomach.

“don’t make fun of sungho. it’s not nice. jangmi, do you have a date for the formal?” you looked at her through the rear view mirror. “no. i don’t even know if i wanna go yet.” hyuck laughed again but you flicked his cheek before he could say anything else to his brother. and then it got awkwardly quiet in the backseat of the acura tlx.

“bye, jangmi! bye, y/n!” said hyuck and his brother. “same time tomorrow morning?” he asked after rolling down the window some more. you responded with a nod and walked into your house after waving one last time to the pair of siblings. only to be met with your mother rushing the two of you to change into something formal. your sister whined and asked why.

“we’re meeting at kwonsooksoo to have dinner with the lee’s.”

“but it’s only three p.m. why do we have to get ready now?” you furrowed your brows.

“because i know you girls will take forever. plus, it’s almost a two hour drive from here. we’re supposed to be meeting them at 7:30.”

that was a typical friday night. each of your parents spending way too much money on food that’ll be half finished by the time you left, awkward and nasty looks between you and jeno, and quiet conversations of you and minjung followed by jeno and jangmi.

so while fixing up the makeup on your face, you slowly stopped swiping the brush on your face and looked in the mirror at your reflection, then to the bedside table where you remember you hid a scrapbook from years ago. setting the brush down on your desk, you turned in the chair you were sitting in and opened the drawer to pick up the polaroid picture filled book.

covering the cream colored pages were silly pictures of the two of you from birth to elementary school, fun patterns of washi tape, and the messy handwriting of you and jeno. looking through the reminiscent book, you remembered the stash of old friendship items in a large shoe box hiding under your bed. quickly, you scrambled to the floor and dragged the dusty, wood-like box from its place.

you opened the top of the box and it looked like how you remembered it looked like when you packed it up two years ago. in the box contained some more photo albums and scrapbooks, a few framed pictures, letters that jeno wrote for your birthday—your seventh, tenth, and fourteenth— a few sheets of guitar notes, and a friendship bracelet each of you made for each other. and looking through all of the memories, a single tear had dropped from your face just as your mother walked in the room. she was going to tell you they were ready to leave until she stopped mid sentence, immediately looking sad at her daughter crying because of the friendship she used to have.

“auh… y/n,” her voice was soft as she knelt on the floor and cupped your cheeks in her palms. you just cried and hugged her, constantly saying that you missed him. you missed lee jeno so damn much. and you could never say it enough.

the lee’s never saw you that night. after that whole breakdown, your mother thought it was best to not let you go. it could’ve caused more erect feelings and she didn’t want that for you, even if she did want you to tell jeno that you missed him. but she didn’t force it on you, and they left the house to meet the lee’s without you.

the following hour, a knock was heard at your door.

it was na jaemin.

jaemin had lived in the area, but you were confused and shocked by his presence back in your life. hesitantly, you unlocked the door and there he stood. from the outside, you probably looked emotionless but on the inside, you were freaking the fuck out.

“na jaemin..? what are you doing here?” you had been straight to the point, not wanting to see his face any longer. but he just dryly chuckled and said, “my mom cut the power at my house. it’s gonna be out for a few days but i just wanted to see if you still lived in the area.” it sounded like he was mocking you and it made your eye twitch in annoyance and asked him what he wanted and why he was here.

“whaat? i can’t see an old friend?” that made you pissed and you shoved the door closed. though na jaemin had a fast reflex, and caught the door with his foot before opening it again. this time, your hand was rested on your hip and the other was holding the door, preventing it to be fully opened.

“we don’t like each other, remember. now spill it or i’ll crush your toes with my door.” you were still as sassy as he remembered and it made him genuinely smile this time.

“calm down, princess. i just really wanted to know if you were home since, you know, you and jeno’s family are out.” how did he know? lee jeno, that’s how. you just rolled your eyes and opened the door wider than it was before he just invited himself in your house. didn't he have any respect?

walking in after him, you watched as he sat down on your couch and you leaned on the wall. the space of your living room was quiet until he broke the silence.

“jeno said that you didn’t go with your family today… that’s why i’m here, okay.” he looked at you with guilt in his eyes.

to be honest, you missed jaemin almost as much as you missed jeno. you confessed it to hyuck, and you were almost 100% sure he told at least jaemin that you missed the two.

“i’m sorry,” he whispered out, “i miss you y/n… jeno and i both.”

you looked to the floor then back to the blonde boy, unbelievably. the boys were pranksters and this could be a sick joke.

“don’t lie to me, na,” you hissed out and pushed yourself off the wall to walk into the kitchen, jaemin following after. he sat at the island and watched as you rummaged through the fridge to find something to drink.

“i’m being sincere. we miss you a lot.”

scoffing, you left the kitchen to walk to your room. but you looked back at jaemin, sighed, and motioned him to follow you up to your room.

your room was still the same. the first door to the right when you walk up the stairs. of course, it had been revamped, but it still eluded the energy he always sensed from you since the two of you met. staring at jaemin scanning your room, you remembered how observant he was.

jaemin always knew when something was up, whether it was you being sad, you being frustrated, or when you were just zoning out. he knew you like the back of his hand, even if you didn’t know it. he was quiet but knowledgeable.

while looking around the room, jaemin noticed the old  photo albums opened and scattered on your bed. he walked to your bed and picked up the butterfly scrapbook. flipping through the pages, he smiled, and even slightly chuckled at the childish pictures and humorous comments that filled each page. when he was done looking through that photo book, he patted the seat next to him for you to sit down. grabbing the next scrapbook— a pokémon themed title page— he opened it up and leaned his head on your shoulder, causing you to freeze up.

it was as if he knew there were lots of pictures of him and hyuck in that specific book. it was your eighth grade memory book and you had known hyuck and jaemin for three years prior to that. the sweet smile was still on his face the entire time he flipped through the pages. he read and detected every picture and every little blurb of writing on each page, knowing whose handwriting was who’s.

“i missed this a lot,” he muttered while caressing the printed out picture of the four of you during your eighth grade graduation ceremony. then he glanced up at you. looking nowhere in particular, you whispered out, “me too. so much.” jaemin then sat up and faced you, wiping the tears escaping your eyes. you then looked at him.

“you know, y/n… jeno still has the friendship bracelet you made him,” he said, looking at the colorful arrangement of beads sitting on the floor. “actually, jeno has a lot of things in his room that remind him of you.” he leaned his head against your shoulder once more, lightly wrapping his arms around you to embrace your figure in a hug. then you leaned your head against his, slightly sniffling away the tears and picking up the last scrapbook you made before you stopped being friends.

flipping through the pages, jaemin recollected all the memories from two to three years ago in high school. about halfway through the book, the pictures soon came to a stop. the rest of the pages were left blank. he lifted his head up and there was a frown present on his face.

“you didn’t finish filling it out?” he questioned, getting up and closing the book.

“i didn’t get to. we stopped talking after new years.” he looked back at the page that was last filled. it was pictures of your families together during christmas eve playing secret santa. flashes of smiling faces and wrapping paper on the floor.

‘december 24, 2015, christmas eve. i hung these pictures up late this year. it’s currently january second and jeno won’t talk to me since new years night. i didn’t have the guts to put these pictures in here but these were the last pictures i had of us all being happy. i don’t think he wants to talk to me anyways…. happy new year and goodbye for now, it’s been fun :( - y/n’

jaemin’s heart broke while holding the crinkled paper in his hands. as strong as he was, mentally, his tears dripped onto the last filled page and looked to you. a single tear falling as he blinked. without a word, jaemin embraced you in a warm and comforting hug. a hug you missed for years.

slowly, you wrapped your arms around your ex-best friend as tears puddled your shoulder as he cried harder and harder. and after the ten minute crying session, jaemin had been rather sniffly and puffy eyed. feeling bad and somewhat guilty, you let jaemin stay over your house to have some takeout with you.

“is that why you didn’t go with your family tonight?” he asked, gulping down his water.

“yeah. i was getting ready and then i just remembered about it. the next thing i knew, i was looking through those pictures and crying... my mom felt bad and didn’t want me to go.” he just nodded in acknowledgment and placed down the cup. it was quiet for a few moments before a text message notification was heard.

“i gotta go. my mom’s wondering where i am.” you walked him to the door and opened it, bidding him a goodbye before he trudged down the street toward his house. just as you shut the door, your mother called you that they were almost home.

packing up the food, and tidying up your room, the jiggling keys caught your attention. it was only about 9:45 and your father walked in, followed by your family, and along came the lee’s. of course.

you scurried up the stairs and kicked the box of memories under your bed just as your father opened the door. you turned to him with your hands folded in front of you and awkwardly smiling.

“pooh! the lee’s are here, come say hi.” you figured your mother hadn’t told your father about the little scene she had witnessed. to be honest, he didn’t know how to react in those kinds of situations so you were kind of glad he was oblivious.

you ushered down the stairs in your easter pajamas and hugged mr and mrs. lee. while hugging them, they said they missed you for dinner and asked what was wrong.

“my stomach hurt a little bit earlier and mom said i could stay home for tonight. i’m glad to see you guys, though!” they cheered and nodded as they looked at their son, motioning— with their eyes— to talk to you.

jeno cleared his throat and greeted you with a small ‘hi’ before jangmi dragged him to her room. everyone remaining sighed and went to the living room while you just walked back up to your room. jangmi’s bedroom was diagonally across from yours and you couldn’t help but to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“jangmi… what would you say if i said that-” you quit listening and shut the door to your room. blowing the baby hairs out of your face,  you looked around your room and was face to face with the guitar sitting in the corner of your room. it was the guitar jeno had bought for your last birthday since you stopped talking. picking up the guitar, you sat back on your bed and grabbed the music sheet from the box, playing the nostalgic tune you and jeno had randomly come up with one day after school.

stepping out of your sisters’ room to go to the bathroom, jeno instantly heard the old song playing in his ears and leaned his head to your closed door. a small smile appeared on his face as he named the notes in his head. his father had come up the stairs and startled jeno, making him move his hand against the elongated doorknob and open your door, causing him to fall back first onto the floor of your bedroom.

you promptly stood up in surprise and your eyes were wide open. was he there the whole time? what was he even doing?

jeno swiftly picked himself off the ground and scratched his head in embarrassment, looking back to his dad who gave him the look. so entering your room and closing the door, you’re met with jeno’s gaze. your heart was pounding and your breathing was heavy, as was his.

tears glossed over your eyes again until he spoke up. “....you still have the music sheet to that?” he refused to look at you.

you gulped and replied, “yeah… i was just, uh, going through some of my old stuff. i found it earlier.” the tension between the two of you was thick and no one wanted to say a word after that.

“uhm.. well, i guess i’ll get going. jangmi’s probably waiting for me.” he was about to leave until he heard your sniffling. he immediately turned around and saw you with your head down and the guitar laying on the floor. he recalled the guitar he bought you for your fifteenth birthday. calmly walking towards your fragile figure, jeno asked what was wrong.

“... you jerk…” you took a deep breath in and looked up at him. “get out of my room… please. jangmi’s waiting…” in that moment, jeno realized that he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay with you. so he did the next best thing, walked out, informed your sister in what was going on, quickly walked back to your room and hugged you as tight as he could. maybe your best friend was back.

he just constantly shushed you and held you like you were a piece of glass getting ready to break. one of his hands held your waist and the other held your head against his chest as he swung the two of you back and forth, slowly. jeno just let you cry in his embrace as small tears fell from his eyes as well. the only sounds that filled the room were the sobs that escaped your mouth.

during the time, jangmi had rushed down the stairs to let your parents know what was happening at that very moment. it was a miracle to know that you two were actually close to each other in the same room. you two were true friends, indeed.

the night ended with you drained out and falling asleep against jeno’s chest. just as he and his parents were going to leave, jeno made sure to tuck you in bed and bid you a small goodnight before shutting the lights and leaving with his parents.

—

the following morning— around nine in the morning— you were awoken by the alarm you had set prior. you can feel the puffy of your eyes and instantly remember the night before. you and jeno hugged. you were crying and jeno comforted you. to some degree, there was a small smile on your face as you stretched to get ready for work.

you worked at some pho restaurant— pho-nomenal— downtown and hyuck promised to drop you off even though you were fully capable of driving to work yourself. but he just insisted and said he was going to eat pho with a friend.

“y/n! hyuckie is here!” screamed your sister from downstairs. you replied just as loud saying you were tying up your hair. you said goodbye to your parents and told them you were off work at four.

getting in the car you screamed out what happened last night. donghyuck pretended to be shocked. jeno had  already told him by the time they left your house. and hyuck told him that you were working in the morning and to have some pho before off to a college interview.

checking in, sooyoung had greeted donghyuck and sat him down at an open table. he then proceeded to ask sooyoung to ask you to serve for his table. did you mention that sooyoung had a teensy crush on said boy?

she was a little upset but you two were best friends so she just nodded and went to the back to say you had company.

“hyuck, what do you want? why didn’t you let sooyoung serve you today?” you whined while placing down two menus and a buzzer on the table. “because i want you to,” he shrugged and looked past your figure to see jeno walk through the doors. looking back to where your friend was looking, you directly saw jeno as well. that sneaky little prick.

growling and flipping him off, you walked back to the front desk and grabbed some more menus to serve the other people that filled the restaurant.

coming back to hyuck and jeno’s table, you were unable to look jeno in the eyes as he ordered first. when he was finished, you glared at hyuck as he hid his laughter behind the menu. going to the back room, you called out the order and clipped it onto the board and walked back out to stand in front of the main desk. the restaurant wasn’t that busy in the morning so you and your coworkers stood at the front ready to greet other customers and get the meals prepared.

when their food was ready, you rang the buzzer and up came lee jeno. you were going to kill lee donghyuck.

sooyoung and a couple other coworkers were unavailable so you were the only one to give jeno their food.

just as he was about to talk, you gave them their meal and mumbled, “enjoy your food.” it was all too abrupt. but he thanked you and walked down back to the table. both he and donghyuck sighed. you were too stubborn.

“no, hyuck. she’s just scared to be friends with me again. i mean, i would be too if she did that to me. we’ve been best friends since diapers…. sorta… but i still know what kind of person she is,” jeno said, slurping down his noodles and looking at your back as you were preparing some drinks for the other customers. the other boy just shook his head and got ready to take another bite.

once they were finished, and their finished food was taken care of, jeno offered to pay for the meal, just so he could talk to you. as desperate as hyuck was to have the two of you interact, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t happy that jeno was paying just for the sake of your relationship.

“total is $16.83,” you hadn’t even said a complete sentence. sure it made sense but it wasn’t complete; and it broke jeno’s heart that you didn’t want to see him anymore. glancing up, donghyuck gives you a look and you already know what he’s going to text you later. rolling your eyes at him, you give jeno his change back. your hands brushed against each other as you handed back his coins and it made jeno slightly shiver.

the rest of the day was pretty boring. some of the same customers, everyone ordering the same things, the busy back room. as your shift was coming to an end, you got a text from hyuck that jeno and jaemin were coming along to pick you up. just great.

hanging up your apron, you texted your mom that the boys, though you told her only hyuck, was going to pick you up from work and drop you off. you groaned and walked outside after saying your goodbyes to your crew mates.

“hurry up, donghyuck! it’s going to rain, i can hear the thunder,” you nagged while persistently looking around to spot his car. “okay, okay, i’m down the street. hold your horses.”

finally pulling into the parking lot, donghyuck stopped in front of you and you climbed into the back seat next to jaemin. he and you had exchanged phone numbers the previous night and it seemed like he was back to his affectionate self. he greeted you with a hug from the side and showed off his charming smile and pearly whites. you awkwardly hugged him back, not knowing you two were already in this stage of becoming friends again. jeno looked back through the mirror, he was jealous jaemin was working so fast and already making little progress.

“y/n… i forgot to tell you that we’re all staying the night,” hyuck mockingly laughed. “i already told your mom too. jangmi’s excited.” he finished with a teasing wink. oh brother, you mentally rolled your eyes, sighing into the leather seat.

“cheer up y/n! we can catch up..” jaemin’s sentence became less enthusiastic. you just slightly smiled and looked at him, “okay then.” and it was quiet for the rest of the ride.

opening the door, jangmi’s voice is heard from the opposite side yelling at your dad, “dad! y/n, hyuck, jaemin, and jeno are here!” the boys laughed and all took off their shoes before greeting your sister and father.

“pooh! mom’s at the grocery store right now. you’ll have to help her put away the stuff when she comes back,” he informed. you just nodded with a yes and told them to follow you up to your room. then it got you wondering. three boys sleeping over a girls house at the age of eighteen? curse lee donghyuck.

at around 6 p.m. or so, your mother comes through the door and asks for help to bring the groceries in while she’s greeting the three boys.

“hi boys. i’m glad you could stay the night here! and i’m happy you four are friends again.” your eyes shut from embarrassment and told your mom that there was one last gallon of water in the trunk.

after putting the food and whatnot away, you all walked back upstairs and it was silent for a good few moments. “uhm, we have some extra towels and i think i have some toothbrushes in my closet. you guys can just sleep on the inflatable bed, it’s all we have.” jaemin clicked his fingers. “duh, our stuff is in hyuck’s trunk. we packed everything y/n, don’t worry. i mean, besides the bed but you know what i mean.” you chuckled and nodded as they went back outside to get their belongings. however, jeno had asked them to bring up his bag and so it was just the two of you again.

you were playing with your fingers when he said, “...i’m happy you’re letting us in..” you looked up at him and shyly smiled. “it’s the least i could do. we used to be friends so…”

“yeah but i want to change that, y/n. i want us to be best friends again. remember  ‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart’?” his heart hurt and he was physically in pain. as much as you wanted to yell at him that this was all his fault, you didn’t have the guts to. because he’s back and he wants to be friends again.

the night ended with all of you huddled on your bed watching some thriller tv show that hyuck chose. though you weren’t paying attention at all. the four of you talked throughout the night and looked back on all the memories from middle school to freshman year.

“yeah, yeah! remember when we dared y/n to sit next to mark lee? that was gold! i still have those pictures on my phone!” exclaimed jeno while scrolling to the top of his photo album on his phone. your eyes were widened and your face flushed red, remembering the embarrassing moment.

“ugh stop. i didn’t even like mark lee like that,” you said, covering your face in the palms of your hand. mark lee was your senior at the time of that incident. you were fifteen and he was sixteen. your friends and mark all had the same lunch; but being the popular boy he was, mark lee was sitting with his other friends. they were recalling that you had a supposed crush on the boy and when they had the chance, forced you to sit next to him. it was all just humiliating sitting next to someone everyone thought you had a crush on. and you knew mark heard about those rumors going around.

“yeah okay, y/n. keep saying that,” hyuck smirked and rolled his eyes. jaemin was just laughing and having a good time listening to the conversations going on.

around midnight jangmi walked through your door and joined in on some of the joking the boys were doing. “get out jangmi! we’re talking about high school stuff, plus mom’s gonna be mad at you tomorrow,” you scolded, making her stick her tongue out and hug the older boys goodnight. brat.

you don’t remember when, but when you woke up the next morning, the only person who was sleeping was jeno. jaemin and hyuck were awoken an hour prior and they wanted to let the two of you rest since you were both notorious for going to sleep late and waking up late.

it was only ten in the morning but you pushed yourself out of bed to wash your face and brush your teeth. when you walked down the stairs, the aroma of food entered your senses and jaemin avidly greeted you.

“good morning y/n! we were about to wake you and jeno up but since you’re awake, go tell jeno food’s ready.” he turned you around to face the stairs. sighing, you walked up the stairs and back into your room.

carefully shaking jeno, you repeat, “wake up, food’s ready.” being the lazy bum he was, turned the other way then threw a pillow to your face.

“stop bothering me, monkey.” you were in a trace. monkey and bubba; that’s what you two called each other. you stared at his back, but somehow he felt more awake and sort of uncomfortable. shifting around, he turned to you and sat up.

“what’s wrong with you all of a sudden?” he questioned, waving a hand in front of your face. he must have just blabbed that out while he was half conscious and wasn’t paying attention.

“.... eat. my mom, jaem, and hyuck made breakfast,” you mumbled and walked out the door and down the stairs. from then on he wondered what had gotten into you. but while he was getting ready he remembered what he had said. monkey, the nickname he gave you when you were both eleven. jeno then wondered what would happen if he continued to call you monkey. would you be all flustered? would you complain and yell at him? or would you call him bubba? he’d hope you’d call him bubba again. he missed your nicknames.

your friends and family all enjoyed breakfast together, and your mother was stoked to have the four of you back before leaving for college. instead of the three musketeers, it was the four musketeers. you, lee jeno, lee donghyuck, and na jaemin.

after breakfast, they left to run their errands or start their schedules for the day.

—

while monday started, you wondered if jaemin and jeno would talk to you. welp, only one way to find out.

driving your way to school, hyuck had texted you where you were.

i’m on my way, just wait omg sent, 7:28 a.m.

parking your car and walking towards the front lobby, the two boys pushed through the row of doors and rushed to you. jaemin, being much more comfortable, hugged you and hyuck joined soon after. jeno was a bit on the slower side, deciding to tone down his excitement.

“ayy look at this cool guy,” jaem turned around and teased jeno as he walked to you with his hands in the pockets of his sweater. the boy just smirked and shook his head.

“morning monkey.” you tensed again, then turned pink since the energetic boys stood confused. “monkey? is that what we’re calling y/n now? because i’m totally up for it!” exclaimed hyuck.

your eyes widened and shouted, “no! you guys are not going to call me monkey. that was just a nickname he used to call me.”

jaemin spoke up, “really? since when? how come we’ve never heard this ‘monkey’ come out of jeno’s lips until right in this moment?” you glared at jeno and responded, “it was just a thing between the two of us. besides, you know i have nicknames for both of you, too.” the two boys just rolled their eyes as jeno smiled and cheered in some sort of victory. you stuck out your tongue and caught up with the salty boys who were a couple feet ahead.

but during the walk to first period, in which mrs. choi wasn’t there again, the trio was greeted by everyone as they looked at you, questioning to themselves why you were hanging out with jeno and jaemin. some even forgot the four of you were a thing, and some just didn’t know.

“woah, y/n hanging with them? nana and jen?!”

“i thought they stopped being friends…?”

“damn. i haven’t seen ‘em together since sophomore year.”

and other variations were heard throughout the halls as you, hyuck, and jeno went to drop off jaemin in mrs. moon’s room before walking to mr. park’s.

right when you three walked through the doors, mr. park playfully sighed and gave you and hyuck a look. then looking at the students whispering and already starting to gossip. oh great.

while loosely paying attention to the teachers lesson, you looked around the room, hyuck doing his work and occasionally looking up, some students— of which were mostly female— looking between you and jeno, and jeno, continuously peering over to you. when you met eye contact, he was quick enough to look away and act as if he was taking notes. was jeno really starting to like you? again?

he would probably never admit it but during eighth and ninth grade years, jeno developed the tiniest, and by tiniest he really had the biggest, crush on you. of course, you never knew, only seeing him as family and one of your bestest and closest friends. but it was all in the past and he kind of figured you never really liked him like that anyway.

you diverted your attention back to the laptop screen and started doing some more research for your language class. but as the seconds ticked by, jeno started to glance at you more and more, especially since he knew you were no longer paying attention to his class.

before you knew it, first class was over and you and hyuck sat at your seats in the same room. jeno just stayed in his seat but tapped the desk to the right of him to signify for you to sit there. sort of uncomfortably, you plopped yourself onto the desk and took out whatever you needed for his class. him and hyuck talked, as usual, but jeno made sure to include you since you were now both on speaking terms.

small smiles and shy laughter. it’s always been who you were, it’s always been one of the reasons why jeno fell for you. the whole school scene was just always too overwhelming for you, much rather being on the quieter side. it probably never seemed like it back in middle school but you were always way too much of a nervous wreck to actually do something bad. you were all bark and no bite.

so when class started, and students started to fill the desks one by one. kyong, a well-known— but basic— popular classmate came walking into the room, planning to sit in her seat, which was next to jeno, whom she subtly liked. but seeing you sit there all of a sudden startled her.

“hi, y/n,” she smiled with flames burning in her eyes. “uh that’s my seat, i’m sorry.”

you looked her in the eyes and apologized, getting ready to pack your things to sit next to hyuck until jeno stopped you from doing so and said, “there’s no assigned seats kyong. just go sit next to…. jihoon,” he pointed across the room. her eyes twitched slightly before smiling again and walking to sit next to the knocked out boy.

throughout the class, jeno and hyuck proceeded with their joking around until mr. park had enough and turned around. giving them the ‘you are a senior in high school’ speech. but to be fair, they were being a biiiit immature.

directly after the bell rang, you went straight to mr. yang’s lab class and sat next to sooyoung, after you said goodbye to jeno and hyuck. immediately explaining your weekend out to her.

“i’m sorry he WHAT?”she whisper-shouted hoping mr. yang wouldn’t hear. unfortunately he did and shushed her before moving onto the next part of the lesson he was teaching. you just made a face and nodded before returning back to your notes, sooyoung still in astonishment.

when ms. jung’s class arrived— which was after mrs. lim’s— you sat right where you had been sitting. but before you walked past him like he wasn’t there, jeno greeted you with a smile. thankfully, you did return it and got yourself situated for that class.

—

once your classes were over, you walked to your car and started the engine before jeno called you on your phone. confused, you picked up.

“hello? why are you calling me?” it sounded a bit rude but you didn’t mean for it to come out like that.

“i just wanted to ask if you left yet. you just speeded out the room and i kinda…. sorta…. need a ride,” he elongated the last part of his sentence. you sighed and replied, “can’t you drive? i know you took your drivers permit. and i know you have a license.”

“my car’s in the shop, getting the tires fixed. hyuck picked me up,” he laughed.

“then didn’t you leave with him?”

“that ass left before i had the chance. please, y/n?” he whined and you could practically hear his pout. roughly, you sighed and breathed out ‘fine.’ it seemed like ever since you were nice to each other again, the little prick had been taking advantage of you. but that wasn’t jeno, right?

just as he shut the passenger seat door, you said that you had to pick up jangmi before dropping him off.

“i’m cool with that. besides, jangmi loves me,” he bragged. you just snorted and rolled your eyes before driving off to her school

when you arrived at her middle school, she peered through the passenger window and straight away, a smile was placed on her lips. she opened the door, “jeno! you’re coming home with us today? where’s aunty?” he just laughed and turned his head to her before answering.

“no. y/n is just dropping me off today, and maybe the rest of this week,” his sentence trailed off as he looked at you, only for you to look back and scowl at him.

“maybe tomorrow. if y/n allows me,” the damn teasing tone in his voice. jangmi looked at you with hopeful eyes through the mirror.

“what? it’s not my house. plus jeno’s probably gonna make me not take him home after school anyways.” you were quite annoyed with the duo. as much as you love them, they were a pain in the ass.

dropping jeno off jangmi asked, “what happened between you two?” you just laughed and responded with a little shake of your head, leaving her confused and complaining that you were a bad sister and a bad friend.

“i am not! you’re just too young,” you teased her again since the age difference between her and you was significant. more so, significant enough.

—

graduation day. thursday, june 14th. the day you would remember forever.

it was the morning of senior graduation. nothing much was going on, just the hectic scene of constant practices and nervousness.

“i cannot believe we’re graduating high school together! first middle school and now this!” clapped jaemin with his cheery smile. all four of you were glad to be together in that moment at that time, together. after the feud, your relationship had been stronger than ever and you were all glad.

your parents had come together the couple previous days in order to plan your surprise graduation party for the four of you. it was to be held at your house, as your mom insisted to your dad, so when you all got home, your friends and families would be there.

prior to you leaving the school auditorium, your parents had treated you to some ice cream money before ushering the four of you to go out and have some celebratory treats so they could prepare the little party.

when you reached your house, it was eerily quiet. their parents had parked a couple streets down to hide the fact that they were all a part of the surprise party. so after you walked through the door, all your friends and family popped out of their hiding places and yelled ‘congratulations!’

every since you and jeno got close again, he started to realize his feelings had been coming back. and this time they came by and hit him like a whole truck. once he knew about the party— because of his loudmouth parents— he knew it then. jeno was going to confess.

but he was scared; as he should be. he was scared to lose the friendship he just gained back, but he was also scared of losing the relationship with jaemin and donghyuck. but it was worth a shot. it was all or nothing. besides, there was a chance your feelings could be reciprocated, right?

so while the sun was setting and the bonfire was getting started, jeno was seated next to you at the swings with no one to bother you. he made sure to tell his plan to hyuck and jaem— and also your beloved family— so they wouldn’t mess it up. but when jeno found the courage to speak up, the bundle of nerves distracted his thought process and he was spitting out stutters.

“hey, bubba. you okay?” your face showed concern which did not help the situation he was in.

“yeah, i’m okay,” he was upset at himself for not having the balls to confess to his first love. will he have enough courage to confess later? only time will figure it out.

looking off to your family, jeno was having a mid-war crisis in his mind. beating himself up for being so quiet all of a sudden. but while the silence followed between you and jeno, you had been having a hell-of-a-ton of questions and statements in your mind as well.

why couldn’t you confess to him already?

man up. it’s just jeno. no matter what happens you two will always stay friends. at least that’s what you hoped.

as the amount of misquotes grew larger, and the purples and pink in the sky turned blue, jaemin and hyuck had gone to the closest supermarket to pick up some s’mores for everyone to enjoy. gathering around the campfire, everyone made their own marshmallow goodness and joked the night away. until the swarming mosquitoes started to bite everyone.

and while the crickets were heard, everyone was in the living room playing your family time games with a twist. but you ended the night with a movie— or two. so as you were busy making the popcorn, your friends and families all crowded jeno and asked if he had confessed yet. awkwardly, jeno declined and admitted that he hadn’t said a word about his feelings to you. your parents had then ushered him to say a little something about his feelings toward you.

mustering up whatever sort of bravery he had, jeno trotted his way to the kitchen where you were preparing the last batch of popcorn for everyone. he leaned his figure to the wall, admiring you for a moment before softly clearing his throat to catch your attention.

just go up to her, dammit. jeno repeated in his head.

“uh— you know, monkey. i uh— we should— i kinda wanna go to the mall and— no we should go to that new seafood restaurant— no no, scratch that…. but can we-” you interrupted his cute rambling before resting your hand on his chest and kissing his cheek.

“i got the message jen,” you laughed. “of course i’d go out with you this weekend.” by the time he walked back to the living room, he was a ball of goo and all eyes were on him; especially your family. just by the look of his face when he came back, they all knew what you had said, and it was affirmative.

—

your first date that next weekend went by perfectly. jeno had ended up taking you to an aquarium and dinner for the evening and it was the best date you’ve ever had. really, it was the only meaningful date but best, nonetheless.

appreciatively, the date you and jeno and went on was not awkward at all. it was just as if you two were just hanging out as friends, but of course, better.

you were just joking along with each other and recalling smaller, more precious memories between the two of you before the conversation got a little more serious.

“i got accepted into yonsei university!” he exclaimed, not knowing you had also applied to the university and got accepted a few days prior.

“congratulations bubba! i got accepted too!” he cheered at you and gripped your hand in affirmation and proudness.

now you knew. maybe you two were truly meant to be.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

a brand new start.

august 29th. first day of the new semester of a new year, a whole mouthful.

the major you had chosen for your path at yonsei was interior architecture. jeno was majoring in computer software and media applications.

luckily, you and jeno had classes about the same times on the same days so you each had time to briefly see each other on campus or meet up while you’re both free. it was a little hard to adapt at first, but you two were champs and still even had time to meet up with hyuck and even sooyoung— who both went to hanyang university— and jaemin— who attended hongik university.

“monkey!” yelled jeno who was about ten feet in front of you. your class had just ended and you were just walking around the entrance of jeno’s building, waiting for him.

“sorry i was late. professor oh kept us back,” he scratched the back of his head. only for you to shake your head and give him a ‘no worries’ smile. it was a thursday and you and jeno had some sports meetings right after class. once again, with the same schedule. it wasn’t a bad thing, not at all. but there were times where you wished you never hung out so much. even so, you loved jeno— in fact, you were the first to pull the ‘i love you’ card a few weeks back.

walking to the campus gymnasium, the both of you get changed into athleisure attire and separated ways, jeno to the field and you just a couple of walks to the gymnasium. you had been playing volleyball to stay fit and to find a hobby while living the college life. jeno, to much surprise, continued to pursue football during his college years, so as to stay fit and to keep his passion of playing football alive.

“i’ll see you later, monkey. we have community service later, yeah?” he asked while greeting some of his teammates. you nodded and waved to your girls before jeno smiled lovingly at you and held your chin in his hand to peck your lips. teasingly, he winked and walked to where the boys went out. shaking your head at him playfully, you walked into the gym to start with some stretches and warmups.

apparently you were the best woman on the volleyball team so the girls immediately nominated you as team captain. discussing about the plans your coach had given you prior, the girls stopped chatting and got straight to practice. chanmi was one of your peers on the team who was seemingly jealous of you; of which you did not know she was, but it was better for her to know rather than for you. you had just thought that she didn’t like you, like, at all.

“ugh i don’t understand why y/n is team captain. it’s not fair,” she complained to her friend one morning. you were on an early coffee run for you and jeno when you heard her familiar ringing voice. following them from a distance, chanmi just continued to talk bad about you which made you sad realizing that she didn’t like you.

“plus she gets lee jeno. i heard he’s the best on the football team,” she whined again, “and he’s the hottest, no doubt.” her friend agreed before gushing over your boyfriend when he appeared behind you, covering your eyes and making you guess who. rolling your eyes you turned around and gave him his drink before walking to class together. the two of you had literature together— with chanmi— and it seemed she hated you even more, especially after you walked in the room with jeno’s hand around your waist, standing impossibly closer to you. but it wasn’t your fault his hand was there anyways.

ever since that day, all you received from her was snarky remarks and burning glares. and she almost never complied to you or your requests which was why the coach was having thoughts about kicking her off the team.

when your volleyball practice was over, you quickly refreshed yourself and gathered your things to walk to the football field to watch jeno finish his practice.

sitting on the bleachers, however, was chanmi— who coincidentally was jaemin’s cousin— and her little friend vigorously cheering for the boys. about five minutes passed before jeno walked to you and downing his water, saying that today’s practice was going to be a little longer than usual so you both might be late to the tutor sessions you planned to help some of the younger kids.

“it’s okay, bub. i’ll just stay here and go over some notes. i have an exam tomorrow,” you explained and looked up at him with squinted eyes. he looked around before looking back at you, catching chanmi’s attention before saying, “okay. don’t overwork that brain of yours,” he laughed as he skittishly poked your head.

“also, do you have an extra water bottle? i need it desperately, coach is working us extra hard today for some reason.” you nodded and fished out your metal water bottle to give to him. “thanks, monkey,” he kissed your temple and returned to the field where everyone was waiting.

enviously, chanmi watched the scene with her eyes and she felt as though she wanted to barf; oh how desperately she wanted to be in your place, though. it seemed as if you and jeno had the perfect relationship. of course there were the doubts but you and jeno managed to pull through and you’re as strong as ever. in which chanmi daydreamed about her perfect relationship, somehow throwing jeno into the mix. “the perfect man,” as she called him.

during the beginning of the year, when chanmi first found out about her fellow peers, some more than most, she was instantly interested in you and jeno. the constant questions of ‘are they friends?’ or ‘are they actually a couple?’ flowed throughout your classmates' mouths and you and jeno had proven to them that you were in a relationship, and very serious about it.

she sat closer to where you were sitting near the front of the bleachers.

“hi, captain!” she said enthusiastically. you were puzzled as to why she was talking to you out of the blue after the constant bashes of attitude. she was, what nineteen, the least she could do was act more mature, right? genuinely, you smiled and greeted her before striking a small conversation.

“chanmi! where’s your friend?” you asked and turned to meet her figure. toxically, she smiled and pointed in the direction of her previous seat. you’d been talking for a few minutes when the blow of a whistle stops her mid-sentence. hearing the shouting of the football coach, her pulse accelerated as she saw jeno coming closer and closer. with hopeful eyes, she hears nothing of your next words as she is solely paying attention to lee jeno.

almost movie-like, her vision slows as she drools over the boy who is running to where you two were seated.

“hey monkey!” he cheerily said before sitting to your right to collect his things to put back in his bag. “.... chanmi..”

she dreamily sighed and waved jeno a hi, but her daze came to a stop when she saw him caress your cheek with his hand and sweetly smiling at you. evidently, chanmi had completely focused her attention on jeno as she had stars in her eyes. subconsciously feeling a stare, jeno looked to where chanmi was and of course, she was already looking at him with star struck eyes. but obviously, her gazing made him feel uncomfortable and uneasy. she looked at him like how you looked at him; pure love and ecstasy. he scoffed to himself and grabbed your hand to pull you away from the girl.

“hey, hey! what was that all about,” you whined as he continued to pull you to the parking lot where his car was parked. throwing his bag in the backseat, jeno’s grip was still just as firm, preventing you from climbing into the passenger side. just as you were about to protest again, he turned around, wrapped his arms around your waist and hid his head in your neck, taking in your natural scent while nuzzling his nose against your collarbone. in disarray, you enveloped your arms around jeno’s neck and played with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

“what’s wrong, bub?” you softly said as he then lifted his head from your neck and gently rubbed his nose against yours. he shook his head and continued to hold you in his embrace. but jeno was a horrible liar, and you knew he wasn’t telling the truth.

you both never ended up going to that tutoring session for the community service opportunity. jeno had been consistently whining on how he wanted to just lay in bed with you and rest for the weekend. and you simply couldn’t refuse his cute ass.

before you could do anything else, jeno pushed through the front door of your apartment and made you lay on the couch for him to rest on you. his body stuck like a koala against yours as his head laid on your chest and his arms were once again enclosed around you.

his behavior was off the roof that day and you were perplexed by his actions. something was off with him.

and you were right; something was off with him. na chanmi was jaemin’s distant cousin— maybe third or fourth— but ever since he met na chanmi, which was almost two years prior, she appeared to be utterly in love with jeno, barely even knowing who he was. providentially, he never really saw chanmi around long enough for him to catch feelings for her, but she was always so damn sure she attracted jeno in some type of way.

chanmi had this sense of weary aura around her presence and it always made jeno feel twitchy when it came to her which was why he acted like that.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was finally senior year of university. fortunately, after everything you and jeno have been through, your relationship was healthy, and there wasn’t much more you could ask for. you even ended up moving in together in the same apartment during your junior year. everything was going to be perfect.

yeah, that’s what you both thought.

—

“where were you, y/n?” jeno asked right when he heard the front door open.

it was a friday night and you were out with sooyoung and a couple other friends to study and hang out at a local diner. you didn’t text jeno where you were but to be fair, you did try calling him three times before giving up and enjoying lost time with your friends for the night. unluckily for you, jeno had flooded you with nonstop phone calls almost ten minutes after you stopped trying to reach out and tell him what you were doing for the night. time really does fly by.

“i’ve been calling you for the past hour and you haven’t responded to me once. where the hell were you?” you knew he tried to remain calm and mature but you’ve known jeno long enough to know that he was enraged; the glint of anger reflected in his eyes and you knew you were in trouble.

the relationship you’ve had the past couple of months were not the greatest. these were one of the occasions that balls of fire were thrown at each other. accusations and yelling one after another only to make up the next morning.

but something just wasn’t sitting right that night with jeno.

“where were you and who were you with?” he stated again, hands rested on his hips. you sighed, trying to calm down the situation.

“i was with sooyoung and mark tonight.”

“then why didn’t you reply to my calls?” he was really starting to get mad.

“i called you thrice but gave up since you didn’t answer,” you said while walking to your shared bedroom to get ready to shower.

“that doesn’t explain why you didn’t pick up!” he bursted out. and to be honest, you don’t think you’ve seen or heard jeno this mad at you before. something in you just clicked.

you scoffed to yourself and rolled your eyes, “you need to chill! i didn’t do anything wrong, i don’t know why you’re making me the bad guy! we were just hanging out.” but it was too late. jeno was furious, for maybe no reason. or maybe he did have a reason.

though you denied liking mark lee back in middle school and the beginning of high school, jeno was the only person you told about your little crush on the boy. mark lee was the sweetest person ever; caring, thoughtful, and cute. who didn’t have a crush on him?

little did you know, jeno always felt jealous whenever you gushed about the boy. and maybe that was what was going through his mind right now.

but nothing happened, sooyoung and mark were close friends and she offered for you to hang out with them, of course you had to accept their request. you missed them.

however jeno just dashed out of the room, throwing his phone to the ground making the loudest noise. you really fucked up. but you didn’t, jeno was in the wrong, so you tried to convince yourself. but you were too nice to admit that it was entirely his fault. because you still loved him dearly, though the months have been going downhill. you just shook your head and showered.

we’ll be okay in the morning. or so you hoped.

when you got out of the shower, you were wrapped in your towel when you saw jeno sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. he was fuming mad at this point and wanted you to leave.

“you need to leave,” he blatantly said without looking your way. the sound of your bare feet padding the floor stopped. you were speechless. this was the first time he’s kicked you out. but you paid half the rent so you said no.

“it’s not a question, y/n. i need you to get out, we need time off.” you were taken aback by his words. what a dickhead.

“uhm, i don’t know if you’re aware of this but i pay half the rent and half of these damn bills, there’s no way i’m getting out of this house. if anything you should leave…. at least stay in the guest bedroom,” you added. when jeno looked up and finally met your soft brown eyes, the only thing you could see in his was pure anger. it made you hiccup a sob.

staring at him for what seemed like forever, you blink away the tears that accumulated in your eyes and packed everything you could.

“lee jeno you will never be a real man. you’re still the pussy i knew you were,” you dryly laughed and slammed the front door as hard as you could. you stuffed all your shit into your car and called your mom.

“we broke up.”

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

by the time you reached your parents house, you called sooyoung and haechan, informing them about the dramatic scene that happened just moments ago.

you didn’t even know how long but when you reached your parents house it was almost one in the morning. thankfully, your mother was still awake, concerned for her crying child.

knocking on the wood door, it opened immediately and your mother embraced you in her welcoming hug that felt like home.

you weren’t able to sleep that night. thinking about your relationship with lee jeno. from when you two were in diapers to when he stopped being friends with you to getting into the relationship to now. it was all a roller coaster that you did not want to go on anymore.

it was funny, your mother tucked you in your bed that night, telling you to just rest and try your hardest to not think of him.

rising against your bed that following morning, you looked like a train wreck. puffy eyes, swollen face, chapped lips. and it’s about at nine in the morning when you get a facetime call. deep inside you wished it was jeno apologising to you but it was just hyuck and jaem.

looking at you, the boys show so much sympathy and sadness through their faces, having almost similar expressions.

“y/n, we’ll pick you up today then, yeah? we can go in jaemin’s car and we’ll pick up sooyoung and mark too, okay?” says donghyuck once he heard a sob escape your lips. you nod, nonetheless, ending the phone call and getting ready to look presentable to the public.

—

luckily for you, the two boys pick up the rest of your things from jeno’s before coming to get you and the rest of their friends.

they help you put your things away in your room and hug you with so much love. in that moment, you were have to have friends like them.

“let’s go get sooyoung and mark. i wanna go to the amusement park.” they obliged to your request and the three of you walked out of your house after bidding your parents goodbye. everyone in your family was concerned about your well-being but you said you were fine and going to heal yourself with your friends.

when mark and sooyoung are in the car, the pair immediately hug you as tight as they could while sooyoung cursed at lee jeno for breaking your heart once more.

“i swear i will kick his ass. i don’t care how strong he is, bitch i will kick his ass all the way to fucking jupiter,” you laughed at sooyoung, she seemed more upset at your breakup than you were. but everyone laughed and agreed that they would all tag team and best jeno’s ass so hard that he can’t even remember your name.

the day was spent better than you had thought, you five stayed on the bay walk until dusk. then you went out to get some korean barbecue and ice cream, all their treats to make you feel better about yourself.

your friends and family really helped you get over your relationship with jeno. however, of course your mothers continued to talk and gossip about your relationship.

“they’re really doing this again? jeno didn’t even tell me yet. i’ll make sure he gets his ass beat by both me and minjung,” his mother says while on speaker, courtesy of your mother cleaning the dishes in the kitchen. she hummed and spotted you hiding behind the wall. you’d been listening to their conversation the second your mother called out mrs. lee’s name.

noticing your mother stare, you whined at her, “mom can you at least be a little more discreet when you’re talking about us?”

“we just wanted to catch up. you know, mrs. lee hasn’t seen jeno since your breakup— didn’t even know you two broke up.” you pursed your lips into a straight line before sitting on a stool. “don’t you think you guys will ever make up again? it’s happened once after constant pushing.”

you scoffed and rolled your eyes, taking a bit out of an apple from the fruit bowl.

“he’s a jerk, mom. it’s complicated.”

but just then, you heard jeno’s baritone voice through the speaker of your mothers phone.

“she’s fake, mom. it’s complicated—” but before you could hear anything else the jackass had to say, you mother hung up.

you sighed out of annoyance and walked to jangmi’s room. she was supposed to start her new job today.

“jangmi, are you ready? i need to work soon too,” you shouted through her door while listening to her rummaging through her room before opening the door.

“yeah i’m ready. let’s go,” she took your hand and dragged you down the stairs. saying bye to your mother she slipped on her shoes and walked out the doors, waiting by the passenger side of your car.

jangmi got a job at some aesthetically pleasing library in town and she was excited to get the job.

you stopped and parked the car before she opened the car door. however you stopped her before she could even set one foot out.

at this point, you and jeno had been broken up for three months. but seeing jeno with chanmi— who is laughing and hitting his arm playfully— your heart breaks more, albeit holding jangmi’s arm a little too tightly. once she looked in the direction of your face, she immediately knew you had a reason.

“y/n, you’re hurting me,” her voice snapped you out of the trance you were in and you apologized and asked her if jeno and chanmi go into the library. it seemed like they were going inside. she shot an ‘okay’ sign and finally got out of the car.

if jeno was being honest, he got over your break up fairly quickly and got back into the dating jazz almost two months after. well, more like he got heavily intoxicated with alcohol and had a one night stand with chanmi. he didn’t know how or why, neither does he know now.

you drove away to an empty parking lot and frantically fish out your phone in your pocket to dial jaemin.

“nana… is chanmi and jeno, like… a thing?” jaemin found out that they were seeing each other— whether romantically or not— about two weeks prior, but he didn’t have the heart to break it to you.

the boy sighed through the phone and admitted that they have been seeing each other for about a month and a half now. but he made sure to quickly say that he just found out and didn’t know how to break the news to you. because as fine as you claimed you were, jaemin knows you more than anything, and he knows you’re still affected.

“it’s okay jaem. we can see other people, it’ll be fine,” you reassured him as you heard the worry in his voice. but even through your voice, he knew you still weren’t okay, so he drove to your house after you ended the call.

you just wanted to sit alone in your bedroom binging horrifically bad tv shows while eating to your heart's content.

but a knock on your door prevented you from doing anything you planned for the rest of spring vacation. because those thoughts filled you through the three months prior.

it was your four bestest friends, and you would trade anything to be with them; even jeno.

they didn’t end up leaving until three in the morning. making sure you were fine and didn’t have a worry about lee jeno. and it helped, for the most part.

—

when returning to campus, you immediately sensed jeno and directed your gaze to something else. however, jeno had a few things up his sleeve and wrapped his large hand around your wrist. you struggled for a moment and threatened to shout out ‘stranger danger’ though it was more immature than you thought it was so you opted to not say anything.

he roughly pushed you against a hidden wall and shoved his face in the junction of your neck and shoulders. tears.

this might’ve been your second or third time watching, experiencing jeno cry actual tears. whether in sadness or frustration. you tried to pry him off of you.

“jen, i have class. what are you doing?” you struggled in his strong grip around your waist. jeno was crying up a storm but was still glad to hear a nickname of his come out of your mouth.

after moments of seeming hours, the man slowly lifted his head from your now wet neck. you stared in his eyes and you never saw the look of pure pain in his eyes. slowly, jeno rubbed his strong nose against yours, leaning your foreheads against each other. he then released his secure grip from your torso and gently cupped your face, his fingers ever-so-softly wiping the tears you didn’t even know escaped your eyes.

that moment was all a blur and neither of you attended your classes that day.

now here you were, sitting across him, across the island that stood in the middle of the kitchen. the apartment still looked the same as when you left, besides the unclean dishes piling in the sink and crooked frames. from that previous scene to now, not a single chirp leaves your mouths. it was dead silent. until he rubs his tired face, jeno is the first to speak up.

“monkey… bubba,” he started, unable to look at you in your eyes, scared to look at your reaction as he planned out his next words carefully. but at this point you figured you knew what he was going to say. because like you said before, jeno is not a man. though he may look and feel like one, he never will be if he keeps up his immature behavior. mentally, lee jeno is not a man, at least not in your eyes. and maybe he never will be, but you’re one to know.

your eyes were emotionless and cold as you looked at his bowed head. the intensity of the room was rising by the minute as he paused on his words.

it seems as though now, jeno is broken. as broken as you were when you broke up. it’s what he deserves. you don’t feel a thing as he continued to shed his tears quietly. but one look and it’s done for.

you don’t know when and you don’t know how, but you ended up on the couch with his puffy face lying on your chest. hesitantly, the pads of your fingers traced his sculpted face as he rests after his crying session.

but why were you doing this? he’s a jackass

hm, he may be a complete asshat but he’s still your best friend over everything. so you push aside all your thoughts and only think about your middle school relationship.

‘true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart.’

you don’t know whether it’s your best friend jeno calling you or your boyfriend jeno calling you, but you hope it was best friend jeno. because it was a way simpler time then and he was always there when you needed him most.

carefully, you lifted your body and looked at the blaring red digital clock sitting on the desk. it was seven in the evening and you had to return home. well, pick up your car from the parking lot and then go home.

feeling you moving, jeno held you closer, squishing his cheek against your décolletage. as much as you did not want to see him, jeno was still as cute as ever. if he wanted to try again, maybe you’d consider.

to hell, you are not going to consider it. you need to go home.

“jen… jen…” you whispered, shaking his body as he maneuvered his head so his nose is tickling your neck. you actually debated on slapping the shit out of him to wake him up. it’s what he deserves. so you do. not too hard but enough to wake him up and hold his left cheek.

“ow!” he whined and rubbed his eyes. what a child.

“jen i need to go home.” only causing him to pout and holding you close to refuse you to leave.

“we’re done, jen. i need to go, i have stuff to do. plus we missed class today.” he whined even more.

“stay with me. we’ll go to class tomorrow,” he mumbled through your neck. but now you were starting to get aggravated.

“lee jeno. this is absurd! you want to constantly make accusations of me cheating with mark, break up with me, and now you want me to stay? all this in four and a half months? you must be out of your goddamn mind. there’s no way in hell i’m going to stay here tonight. we can be friends, yeah, because we’ve known each other our entire lives. but if you think i’m going to get back with you, especially now, you’re fucking crazy,” you breached with tears of frustration in your eyes, “plus i thought you and chanmi were a thing. i saw you two a few weeks ago when i dropped off jangmi at work.”

but the man— or boy— stayed silent. the only noise of the passing cars filling it. tension was high as jeno looked at you with the most lost puppy eyes. but he agreed with you in his mind, he was a little immature. okay, he had to admit that he was very immature, and still is. maybe he just doesn’t know how to work relationships.

no more than three moments later he opened his mouth, only for you to talk again. but in a more calmed voice, “listen, just take me home. i don’t wanna be here right now.” you felt suffocated by the apartment you used to call home. you felt suffocated by the person, you used to call home. but right now you couldn’t make up complete thoughts. it was too overbearing and all you wanted to do was shower and sleep.

without a word, jeno rubbed his eyes and picked up his keys, signaling you to go outside. you released your temper and walked out a minute after he did and got into his car. it was his fault he would not let you go.

he dropped you off with zero words spoken on the twelve minute drive to your parents house. quickly, you muttered a ‘thank you’ and dashed out of his car and to your front door, breathing out whatever breath you were holding.

jeno made sure to leave once he knew you were inside safe. and once you opened the door, questions bombarded you.

‘where were you?’

‘who was that?’

‘why are you home so late?’

but you just shook your head and told your family that you were tired and wanted to shower and rest. leaving you alone was the least they could do.

the hot water was hitting your skin as you stood there, thinking about him. what was going on with him? why is he acting like that all of a sudden? you don’t know. but all you knew was that you needed some time away. to think and to compose yourself.

—

your dad dropped you off at university that morning. the questions that were unanswered that previous night were still left hanging from his mouth. yet you still didn’t answer the questions, you couldn’t.

thanking and saying goodbye to your dad, you got out of his car to walk into yours to mentally prepare yourself for the day. there was still about thirty minutes before your first class and you wanted to use that time to think about possible scenarios that could happen. you just hoped they don’t ever happen.

continuously, you rubbed your face as you fidgeted in your seat and stared out onto campus. taking deep breaths, you finally walked out of the car and made sure to lock it. walking to the literature building, you spotted jeno with a couple of his football friends on the courtyard. and before you met contact, you whipped your head into the direction of the literature building.

jeno sighed to himself and knew he fucked up. big time.

instead of going up to you, he thought to himself that he should leave you alone. he was being bipolar and he didn’t want to overwhelm you and your feelings even more. as much as he was suffering alone, he would stay away from you, but observe you carefully.

you actually had a volleyball game later that day— the last game of the season— and chanmi had asked him if she would watch her. without hesitating, jeno agreed to come but mostly just to see you, but he’d obviously keep that to himself. so once your classes were over, you walked to the gymnasium and into the girls locker room to change. by the time you exited the locker room, people filled the side bleachers and watched the girls (both from your team and the opponents) practice bumping the ball to each other. the opposing team was on the opposite side of the gym to practice while you were on the other. unluckily, your team was practicing on the opening side of the gymnasium and that was when you caught a glimpse of jeno. you looked at him for a brief moment and almost missed a teammates bump when chanmi had run up to greet the guy.

some of his football teammates were actually already sitting on the front of the bleachers and admiring the girls that were hitting the ball with their spandex shorts. jeno hugged chanmi because even when he said they weren’t close, they had gotten closer over the five months after your breakup. but your attention was then reverted to your friends. jaemin, hyuck, mark, and sooyoung had come to cheer on your team for moral support. since jeno wasn’t there to be by your side anymore.

“y/n, you can do this. we know you can! and even if you guys don’t end up making it, this is all for fun and we’ll treat you out for ice cream tonight. all on us. good luck!”

soon the referee blew the whistle indicating the five minute mark. there were five minutes before the final game of the season, and the final game of volleyball you’d ever play for your university. the last game was a home game so you were the first to actually serve the ball. as close as it was, the ball was bumped by a girl of the away team and the game actually started.

time was ticking, and there were only ten minutes left before halftime and the third set of the game. so far, your team was up by eight points. six. four. the bell of halftime filled the gym as the girls on each of the teams walked to their respective sides to have a team talk and rest.

“come on ladies, this is the last game. we’re ahead by four points. we can make it through the last set and win this tournament. it’s the last game of the season, good luck!” encouraged your coach as the rest of the girls discussed who was going to the field first.

“y/n, lia, chanmi, kana, areum, and sohee— you girls are up first. y/n is serving again.”

so far, your team had one the first two sets, and the pressure was up for the last set. you needed to win this. you did not care if this was for a hobby of yours. some of those girls were not so nice while you walked to the gym, giving you the side eye. you just felt like you had to win this game. not for your teammates nor for your friends. not even for jeno. but more for yourself and your pride.

three minutes were on the clock and they were up by two points and you just needed to get at least four points ahead to win the game. you never faltered your serves that set, no one else served besides you and when it was time to switch members, your coach always needed you in. you were bouncing the ball on the floor, getting ready to serve as best as you could. throwing the ball in the air, you swung your arms and for sure, the ball was hit over the net. game start.

the whistle was blown, two points given to your team. the scores were tied now and all you needed to do was gain at least two more points to win. the ball dribbled on the floor in front of you and you then served the ball, hitting it with all the strategies you accumulated throughout the years. the girls immediately missed the ball and the score was down to you again. there were now forty seconds left, as you served the ball again and the girls missed the ball. the pressure was all on them and they couldn’t get over the fact that they were losing.

“we won!” screamed your teammates as you rested yourself on your knees, taking deep breaths. your four friends ran up to you worried and helped you sit down to rest.

“y/n, you were working yourself too much during the last game. why did you not go back? you could’ve watched,” said sooyoung while she was rubbing your back. jaemin was giving you water and rubbing the sides of your arm while mark was massaging your shoulder and hyuck was sitting by your legs.

“take it easy for now. you bid the opposite team good game,” hyuck rubbed your thigh. you sighed and got out of the seat you were in to meet up with your teammates. you all stand in a line and high-fived the opposing team before you got your bag and sat back down with your friends.

“let’s go get ice cream now,” you tiredly said and slumped the strap over your shoulder.

“uhm, before we go… i dropped off chanmi here so she might need to go with us,” jaemin scratched the nape of his neck. you all shook your heads in a ‘no problem’ and he walked up to his cousin to tell her his plans for the rest of the day.

“oh it’s okay jaem. i was going to ride with jeno, is it okay if we came along?” she asked while looking behind her to see his muscular figure talking to a few of his friends. jaemin kept his composure, though, and did the mature thing. he just accepted her request and walked back to his group of friends to tell them about the situation.

when he did, all eyes were on you with worry in your eyes. by this time, you were feeling a lot better than what you were feeling before and laughed at them.

“guys, i’ll be fine. we’re not together anymore, he can do whatever he wants.” though deep inside, you were really going to shit your pants because of the circumstances that happened the day prior. but it was better for them not to know, at least not yet.

in your car seated sooyoung and hyuck. you were on your way to a regular ice cream parlor which a friend worked at.

“renjun!” shouted you, jaemin and hyuck. renjun worked at this ice cream parlor for a while, you got to know him by coming here on the regular, especially during nights when you were stressed over exams or when you and jeno were having problems. therefore the guy was actually a pretty good friend of yours. renjun was a transferee at hyuck and jaemin’s university, they got to know each other then. they developed a pretty good relationship with each other too, you could tell with the way they conversed with each other.

you were laughing and joking around with renjun and your shared friends as you sat on the matching chairs of the countertop. the red reflecting in jeno’s eyes as he watched you joke with your friends and completely ignoring him and chanmi who were seated at a booth not far from where the group was. but he decided to keep quiet and try to pay attention to chanmi, she was just trying to have a good time and he didn’t blame her. but he just couldn’t help but to keep looking back at his old group of friends that all got along so well.

✯¸.•´*¨`*•✿ ✿•*`¨*`•.¸✯

it was now the last football game of the season; thursday 6 p.m. jaemin and hyuck had begged you to go after you constantly refusing and excusing that you had ‘fuckton of homework.’ they both came to your house and rang the doorbell anyways, forcing you to get ready and dragging you to the car.

“come on, jeno still talks about you. The both of you are still friends, no?” questioned jaemin. it took you a while to answer him but you guessed that was what you could call yours and jeno’s relationship as of now.

the three of you arrived on the field and sat on the bleachers right above jeno’s team. just fucking great, you rolled your eyes and mentally punched both jaemin and hyuck where they did not want to be punched. with burning eyes, you glared at your friends and wished to get away from that situation. you sat fidgeting on the metal seats and looked down. there were still a few minutes before the big game and you saw chanmi hug jeno before kissing his cheek and wishing him good luck. the boys then looked to you— who was sitting in between them— and asked if you were okay.

“i’m definitely okay. i’m so okay… listen, i don’t know why you guys are so caught up between jneo and i. it’s our relationship and if he moved on then good for him,” the sarcasm was dripping from your voice. but they picked up on the bitter tone that dripped out of your lips.

you focused back on the field. and you don’t know whether it was the chilly wind or your feelings overcoming you, but there were tears in your eyes almost the entire game. not a word was spoken between the three of you. the boys were still friends with jeno so you broke the silence and excused yourself to go to the bathroom. however in the hall, stood jeno with his hands covering his face.

you were his best friend over everything so of course he noticed you were there. he was happy you ended up going after the begs of hyuck and jaemin, after begging his friends to ask you.

“hi, jen,” your soft voice interrupted his lonely session. he smiled at you and greeted you as well.

“so, uhm, how’ve you been? it’s kinda been a while, yeah?” you asked, initiating the conversation. his eyes are lit up, “i’ve been good, you? and yeah it has been a while, i hope you’re doing okay.” the conversation was more civil than you thought it would be, but it wasn’t bad, of course. better than what you imagined your next conversation would be.

“minjung’s been wondering what you’ve been up to. she misses you tons.” you laughed and thought about his beloved older sister. “jangmi misses you too. so does my dad.” the atmosphere was awkwardly quiet for a moment before you heard the whistle from the ref. you then patted his shoulder and wished him good luck before actually going to the bathroom.

your university football team won that night. and you were immensely proud of jeno. he truly was blooming into a man, especially after the conversation the two of you had. he was growing as a person, and you were happy he was. you’ve known him all his life, you knew he was changing, and for the better.

—

“true friends are never apart. maybe in distance but never in heart,” the two of you recited while looking through memory books from who knows how long. you almost lost your best friend because of stupid feelings, but you both learned and grew from them. it was all for the better and you are both glad to still be best friends.

“jeno’s just a friend, mom. it’s simple.”

“y/n’s just a friend mom. it’s simple.”

“we’re best friends. nothing more, nothing less.”

[randomly-a-fan]

First Christmas with Jason Finale

Prologue

Part 1

Part 2

This part was in the present for a moment, but there will be a conclusion eventually.

A few hours after the weeping and the cookie decorating, Malon wanted to hear the rest of the story, the suspense is killing her and she really wanted to know what happens next. So Malon went over to her mom and ask her if she can finish the story if she’s feeling better enough to do so. “I suppose I’ve let out enough guilt to continue on without crying... Sit...” MJ said as she gesture her daughter to sit next to her on the couch.

[10 years ago and in conclusion]

After a long night of praying and crying, Jason is starting to thaw out and can move his fingers and toes, and then his arms and legs better. Jason can breathe once again and his eyes are gaining composure, he tilted his head towards MJ as he saw her crying on his chest. Jason couldn’t help but smile; he can’t stay mad at her, because she’s already endured enough pain as she is. Jason slowly and carefully lifted his arm and laid a knuckle on MJ’s cheek until she lifted up her head. “Jay...?” MJ choked. Jason opened up his arms just so he can get a loving hug from his special girl. MJ bawled her eyes out as she was hugging him. “Jason... I’m so-so sorry-” Jason laid a finger on her lips gently before he silently shushed her, even though she couldn’t hear it. Jason then took her face and pulled her gently towards him just to kiss her tenderly, and she returned the gesture. 

After a long snuggle, MJ showed Jason his gift that was meant to be given to him on Christmas morning. “That’s the jacket that helped me dragged you to the cabin; it’s a heating jacket... That was meant to be a Christmas present... I thought this would be useful for whenever you needed to go out in the snow...” MJ explained. Jason looked at the jacket and then back at her, he sighed as he was thinking about the effort that she has put herself into. “The man at the drugstore nearly caught me as he recognized me by my debit card location, so I slipped out and ran off... It’s almost a good thing that I have chosen the jacket, huh.” MJ brought up. 

Jason wrote a note for her to read as he has a response. “That might explain how I was willing to move on my own out on the snow; because I’ve felt your presence.” Jason said with a silent chuckle. Then he made her turn the note over. “But I’m glad you’re willing to escape the man at the drugstore... If anything bad happens to you, I’d die on saving you.” Jason added. MJ hugged her lover tight. “Don’t talk-- or write like that! I can’t bear on losing you... You mean the world to me, let’s just leave it at that, okay? no more running off on you... I promise.” MJ said before she dose off out of exhaustion. Jason pulled MJ in closer and tucked her in to keep her warm. He then saw her tearing up; ‘she must have been really scared for me... She truly does love me... What can I do to make it up to her?’ Jason thought to himself. He kissed MJ by the head before wrapping his arms around her for security.

***

The next morning, MJ overslept because of her late-night hustle with finding a gift and saving Jason’s dead-life. Jason wanted to make MJ pancakes, but he’s in a dozy; not just because he’s not that good at making pancakes like her or his mother, but that he wanted to do something for MJ this Christmas. While he thinks, he heard MJ approaching. “Morning Jay... Sorry I have overslept...” MJ apologized while rubbing her eyes.

Jason just finished the pancakes, so he put a plate on the table and approach towards his lover. He hugged her softly while feeling her hugging back. “Did you make us breakfast?” MJ asked with a smile. Jason nodded his head while blushing. Even though the pancakes aren’t as good as hers, however, MJ was enjoying the flavor. “I got to say... You make really good pancakes...” MJ said while eating. Jason smiled to her compliment, even though he sometimes think that she’s just saying that to make him feel good; but... MJ was actually serious. Jason went over to the kettle and made MJ some hot chocolate. “Aww... Honey...” MJ teared up in awe. Jason hugged her from behind and kissed her cheek. “I don’t know how you could possibly be this generous...” MJ said as she was carrassing his cheek from behind.

As MJ was taking a sip out of her hot chocolate, she remembered something that she wanted to bring up. “Jay... I know I disobeyed you about going outside Camp Crystal Lake, just to find you a Christmas present...” Jason raised his hand as he didn’t want to hear about it. “Jason, please... Just let me explain...” Jason shook his head no as he didn’t want to be reminded of the previous night. MJ sighed heavily before she skipped the part from last night and just explain the point. “I used to celebrate Christmas with my family back at home, I’ve never miss out on the family tradition...” Even though Jason isn’t looking, he is indeed listening, she just doesn’t know if he’s listening or not. “...But since I’m... well... Here for good, I wanted to bring the same joy to you... Since I think of you as family...” Hearing what MJ said about him as her family made him light up with unshed tears in his eyes. So he opened up to listen to her theory. “...And even though we don’t have much to make the cabin festive... I wanted to at least give you a nice present... But... *sigh* I don’t know what else to add.” MJ finished before she sips on her hot chocolate. Until she felt a large hand on her tiny one; Jason smiled fondly at MJ before he gave her the note that he just wrote.

“I understand that you missed your family, I feel the same way about my mother... I couldn’t blame you wanting to bring on the tradition; I just didn’t know how to make our Christmas special enough.” Jason admits. MJ placed her other tiny hand on top of his before speaking. “You’ve already had; you made me feel so special because you’re special to me... Every time in my life, I made a wish on a first star I saw, I wished for true love... And well... It came true... Because you made it happen; you’re my wish... I know it sounds smoochy, but what I’m bringing up is that you’re my Christmas present, and I don’t even have to unwrap you, unless you want me to.” MJ winked as she said the irony from before. They both shared a laugh, even though Jason’s laugh is silent.

[present]

“So even though our Christmas together is not as grand, we still have a nice bond, the two of us. So that’s what our first Christmas is like.” MJ finished. “I still don’t get the ‘unwrap’ joke though.” Malon said in confusion. MJ blushed. “...Well uh... Well the point to this story, Malon, is that we don’t have to make so much effort on each other if it puts our lives in danger; even though your father loved the jacket that I have bought for him, he wanted to get me something back in return.” MJ explained. “What did daddy do?” Malon asked. 

MJ took Malon by the hand towards the Christmas tree that Jason have brought in and decorated together. MJ pulled down one of the ornaments to show Malon. “Your daddy did a remarkable wood carving of your dad and I in the wooden heart... He was so talented; I even told him that he should carve some wooden ornaments for our tree for next year if he enjoys carving... And he did.” MJ explained. Malon held the ornament and looked at the carved detail. “So that’s how we’ve got so many wooden ornaments, huh.” Malon said. MJ nodded with a fond smile. 

As MJ put the ornament back on the tree, MJ brought something up. “Even though our first Christmas together was a scary experience, our second year of Christmas was what we both consider the best Christmas of all, then the next... You want to know why?” MJ waited a moment before giving her the answer. “Because you came into our lives... Remember when your dad and I explained to you on how you became a family?” MJ asked. “Uh huh; it happened on a stormy night while daddy was out on patrol, and then he have found me by the porch when I was a baby.” Malon answered, as she remembered the story. “That’s right sweetie, and then your father and I took you in, and made you the part of our lives... You’ve brought joy in our lives, and because of you, your dad took the risk on letting me go out for food and supplies in order to keep you healthy.” MJ explained. “What was Christmas like with me with you guys?” Malon asked. MJ smiled to her daughter’s question, because it was the most memorable moment in her life.

“Because your dad and I don’t make such a big fuss over the gifts, your dad wanted to give you a special gift, and he thought of something that he have remembered from his childhood. He remembered that his mom; your grandmother, got your dad a teddy bear from his first Christmas, so he thought of giving it to you; I took the liberty to fix up the bear and let your dad give the bear to you on Christmas morning... I’ve never have seen your dad so happy and excited for you when you received his most precious procession from his childhood. It makes my heart soar...” MJ sighed as she looked back at that memorable year. Malon hugged her mom tight before giving her a kiss by the cheek. “You and dad are like a present to me too.” Malon said. MJ teared up from Malon’s sweet words.

***

Just as MJ and Malon were cleaning up the kitchen from baking, they both heard Jason entering the Livingroom to put the presents under the tree. “DADDY...” Malon rushed over to her dad to leap into his arms as he twirled her up in the air before giving her a hug and kiss. MJ walked over to her husband to give him the same amount of love as Malon did. “Malon told me that we’re like a present to her... Ain’t that sweet?” MJ asked while rubbing Malon’s back. Jason smiled at his daughter and gave her a gentle squeeze.

After a nice hug, Jason gave Skippy a big juicy carrot that he just picked up from the store and went over to sit next to his daughter, with MJ bringing over the hot chocolate and the extra shortbread cookies. They all snuggled up in a warm blanket while watching their Christmas tree light up and twinkle up the Livingroom. “I know for certain that this year will be just as special as the years before. Like the time I received my dad’s precious possession on my first Christmas.” Malon said. Jason smiled before writing a note for Malon to read. “You’re my precious possession; both you and your mom <3″ Jason wrote. Malon hugged her dad tighter. “You too daddy...” Malon said. “That goes for me too, Jay...” MJ added as she snuggled against her lover. Jason took a deep sigh before wrapping his big arms around his two precious possessions.

The End

[sweettooth-87]

Ok so this isn't someone's request but I have had it in my mind for a while and thus I've decided to write it. Also I'm not the best at writing weddings or ceremonies

It has been a year since she left. Since his dearest, beloved Mary left.

He always knew she would have to leave the theater one day but a psrt of him didn't want to let her leave and wanted her to be his beloved but he knew she was to marry someone that while in his eyes (and from most of the inhabitants that knew about her fiancé) that guy didn't deserve to marry her but he knew she would just get mad at him.

"you should have confessed to her" said Lance "yeah but I didn't want to ruin our friendship" Lance looked at the younger maestro with a face that said "I know that feeling". Balan took a deep breath and put his hat on 'the show must go on' was what he thought before leeving his room.

Like every day after Mary he stayed on the lounge waiting for any new human who might need his help, the hours passed and passed until he heard the fron door opening with a hit as if someone had opened it with a kick 'huh?!' was all he thought until he saw a bride running rapidly towards him.

When the bride was face to face he could see that it was his beloved Mary "Mary what are you'd doing here? Weren't you going to get married?" Mary shook her head and said "even before meeting you I had have doubts about him, about the wedding, about the whole relationship but I didn't want to admit that my friends were right about him not being worth it and also that I was afraid of him doing anything to punish me but when I was walking down the isle I knew that it wasn't him who I wanted to be there" he looked at her puzzled and said "then who is it?" she looked at him with tears on her eyes and said "you.... Balan I.... I love you" he looked at her and said "oh.... Mary I... I fele the same but i didn't want to tell you because I wanted you to live a normal life" she looked at him and said "I don't care about 'living a normal life' I want to be with you balan and I knew it from the moment I saw you" they looked at each other then slowly got closer until their lips touched "Mary this is your last chance. If we kiss I might not be able to stop myself and I will be by your side for all eternity" she looked at him then say "then let's get married. I'm the one paying for that wedding anyway" he looked at her surprised then smiled and used his magic to transport them in an alley close to where the ceremony was held.

Everyone was still trying to process what had happened minutes before. The groom wa son the altar screaming and bawling his eyes out. No one could understand what he was saying apart from "that fucking bitch how dare she leave ME here" and similar things. One of Mary's cousins was about to go the alter to say that the wedding was canceled when he doors opened and there was Mary with a group of people. The guest looked surprised not only because the bride was back but because of the group of people alongside her. Some were recognizable faces like the artist Lucy Won, the Fire fighter who saved a child Eis Glover, the diver Fiona Demetri a and many more.

"WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!?" screamed the groom before running towards Mary. She looked at him and said "I'm sorry Jonathan but I can't deal with you anymore. I guess the straw that broke the camels back was the fact that you forced me to make you affair partner Sophie to be one of my bridesmaids. And yes Sophie I'm sorry you had to find out this was but you're the other woman, but I have to thank you as if he didn't break the loyalty that two people in a monogamous relationship must I have I would still have those rose tinted glasses. Jonathan I want you to leave the chapel right now and if anyone else wants to leave with their gifts I understand it but I want to get married to the one I love and I know loves me for who I am and not for my bank card"

Jonathan looked at Sophie and said "let's go. Fuck this crazy bitch" but Sophie faces turned sour and said "fuck you Jonathan I can't belive you lied to me. Fuck off I hope to never, EVER see you again!!" and thus he left.

Mary looked at the left side with surprise and said "you know the groom who you are related by blood left. Right?" everyone nodded and someone said "we know but you treated us with more love than he ever did in his life" an older woman stood up and said "Mary your behavior made us see the fact that I raised a narcissist who only wants me if I'm useful and I want to stop any relationship with someone who might see me as nothing else than a bank of money, food or a place to be. And so if it didn't bother you we would like to be part of your family" Mary looked at her family and they all nodded in agreement "ok then let's celebrate this wedding" everyone sat in their seats and the ceremony continued with a new groom.

After the ceremony everyone went to the site where the reception was held. Once everyone arrived Mary's mother went towards her daughter and said "well sweetie who is this handsome guy?" Mary laughed then said "mom this is Balan. He is the one who helped me and if it wasn't for him I would be in that hole Jonathan put me in" Mary's mom smiled then said "oh really then welcome to the family son you can call me Suegrita" Balan nodded in agreement and said "a pleasure to meet you ma'am. I can see now where my dearest Mary took her breath taking looks from" Mary's mom laughed a little bit and the reception continued without any issue.

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

We Wish You A Merry Christmas (Modern AU)

Cecily and Sophie conspire to get a Christmas card with all the Lightwood grandchildren from both sides, chaos ensues. The holiday fic no one asked for, but I wrote it anyway.

It was all both Cecily and Sophie had wanted for Christmas, as they had told their children. They just wanted a family photo of all the Lightwood grandchildren from both sides. Everyone had reluctantly agreed, which is why they were here now at Eugenia’s studio, since she had graciously offered to take pictures.

And so far it was a disaster.

They’ve had to change Jasper’s shirt twice, because he keeps staining it, even with both Thomas and Alastair watching him like a hawk.

Rosie keeps attempting to run off, giggling as she does so. Christopher was supposed to keep her with him, to make sure she didn’t, but she kept managing to slip away. So Anna took over and now Rosie is standing with her and Ariadne.

Harriet is feeling particularly shy today and doesn’t want to take any photos. In fact, she refuses to let go of her Baba, and starts bawling every time someone tries to pry her from Alastair.

The newly born Gabriel hadn’t stopped crying since he got there, despite everything Anna and Ariadne have done to get him to stop. They’re just hoping he’ll tire himself out at some point so they can take pictures.

Isidore has a cold and hasn’t been feeling well all day, which makes him cry and cling to Grace. His nose is all red and runny, his eyes pinkish and puffy from all his crying. He hasn’t stopped sneezing and every attempted picture has him covered in snot.

Immy is the only one who hasn’t really done anything, she was the most well behaved. Keyword was. Until about an hour into the photoshoot and she wanted to get out of her frilly dress. But since they hadn’t gotten one good picture, she couldn’t just yet.

All the parents were tired and even Eugenia was starting to get annoyed. Sophie and Cecily looked at each other and sighed. Everyone had been here for three hours now and they hadn’t managed to get one decent picture.

“Mum?” Thomas said and Sophie turned to look at him. Jasper was next to him holding Rosie’s hand, Harriet nowhere in sight.

“Yes? What is it, Tom?”

Thomas looked a little uneasy as he answered. “We’re going to have to leave. It’s past the girls’ nap time and Hettie is already asleep. You know we would stay-” Sophie cut her son off. She looked behind Thomas to see Alastair talking to Anna and Ariadne, holding the sleeping Harriet.

“It’s fine, Tommy. You and Alastair have your own family, I understand what it’s like. I had three children too, remember?” she said, reaching up to squeeze his shoulder gently. Her son shot her a grateful smile. “Just make sure you tell Alastair that I want to say goodbye to Harriet before you leave please.” Thomas nodded and Jasper and Rosie launched themselves at Sophie.

“Bye-bye, Nan!”

“Goodbye, Sophie!”

Sophie sighed at that, she’d asked Jasper if he wanted to call her “nan” like the other children did, but he’d politely declined saying it didn’t feel right. But still, she hugged them both and promised to see them at some point before Christmas.

Once leaving her grasp, Jasper had turned to where Alastair and been talking with Anna and Ariadne. “Lassie!” he yelled and Alastair started to walk over, saying goodbye to the other couple and their baby.

“What is it, Jasper?” he asked, shifting Harriet so her head was tucked under his chin. She made a small noise and wrapped her arms tighter around her father.

“You and Harryo need to say bye-bye to Nan, Baba. Nan told Daddy to tell you.” Rosie said. Alastair looked at Thomas and raised an eyebrow. Thomas shrugged in response, picking Rosie up and bringing her and Jasper to the car.

Sophie looked at Alastair and beckoned him forward. “You don’t need to wake her up, she’s had a very tiring day. I think she deserves this nap.” she said, reaching out to softly squeeze Harriet’s leg.

“I’m sorry we couldn’t get the picture today, Sophie, Cecily. Maybe we can try again soon?” Alastair said, looking a little bit guilty.

“It was just a bad day for the children, we couldn’t plan that. We’ll just have to try again, as you said.” Cecily assured him from her seat next to Sophie. Alastair nodded in response and said his goodbyes.

Slowly, everyone else had filtered out, as the afternoon had turned into evening and everyone needed to go home. Sophie and Cecily understood but it did make them a little sad.

“Don’t worry, Mum, Aunt Cecily. We can just try again next year.” Eugenia assured her mother and aunt as she started to put away her equipment.

“Yeah, there’s always next year.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now it was time for the annual Herondale Christmas party, which was in full swing. Everyone was laughing and having a good time, and there were children running around everywhere.

Rosie and Molly were sitting with Cordelia, Elliot, and Samuel-who had just started to walk-and playing with them. Cordelia and James’s two other boys had been running around the whole time with Jasper and Alexander, the four of them were up to something, but no one really knew what yet.

Little Gabriel had been passed around the room, everyone eager to get a look at the new baby. But unsurprisingly, the one who had been holding him the most, was his namesake. Gabriel had been on his fifth time holding the baby when Cecily had taken him and told her husband that he had to share, even if they shared a name.

Immy had found herself in the company of the Fairchild twins, the three of them sitting in a circle together and babbling, Lucie and Grace cooing at them from afar.

Even Harriet seemed to be enjoying herself, she had spent the first part or so of the party attached to Thomas, but had slowly unattached so she could play with Isidore.

It made Sophie happy to see everyone so happy during the party, even if she couldn’t get the picture that she and Cecily had wanted. She sighed and turned to the tree, where everyone had gathered to give presents.

She and Cecily looked at each other when Eugenia had given them matching gifts.

“It’s from all of us.” Was all she said before going to sit down.

Cecily had opened the box before Sophie had and gasped, making Sophie open her’s, and she too let out a gasp.

It was framed picture of all the Lightwood grandchildren, put into three squares.

The first said: The Lightwood-Carstairs with a picture of Jasper, Rosie, and Harriet sitting together. The girls were in matching dresses and Jasper was dressed nicely in a sweater and khakis. They were sitting on the front steps of their house.

The second said: The Blackthorns with a picture of Immy and Isidore together. They were in matching Christmas themed pajamas sitting in front of their Christmas tree.

The third said: The Lightwoods with a picture of Gabriel being held up by Anna and Ariadne’s hands. He was in a cute all-white onesie complete with a knitted hat and matching booties.

“How...?” Sophie trailed off, passing the picture to Gideon for him to look at.

Thomas shrugged. “We all felt bad that you couldn’t get your picture so we all took separate pictures and had Genie edit it together for you.”

“Thank you, I think I speak for the both of us when I say this was the best Christmas present ever.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is actually inspired by the Christmas card my grandfather and great-aunt had sent out this year. It was similar to what I described, except instead of three squares there were four. They had wanted to do it because of the pandemic and it was hard to take one big picture so they took separate pictures of us in groups and made one big Christmas card to share. I thought it was cute and decided to write a one shot based off of it.

[decayedflower]

Stranger II

⋆ gif is mine

Pairing: Yang Hongwon x Reader

Genre: Underground rapper!Hongwon, Barista!Reader | angst, fluff

Word Count: 5.6k

Summary: Don’t get attached. This was his number one rule. Attachment means getting hurt. Attachment means vulnerability. You are the only person you can trust. So how could she so easily sneak past and break the walls he had worked so hard to build around his heart when all she is, is a stranger?

Warnings: cussing, some angst, hamin being a noodle

A/N: Sorry this took forever to upload, life happens ya know? Next chapter should be more exciting as the ball gets rolling. Hope you guys enjoy :)

You told yourself that no matter how in love you were with someone, you could detach yourself from your emotions enough so that—should the day come—you could live your life without them.

Looking at yourself now, you admit you’re a little ashamed. You couldn’t stop bawling your eyes out for 2 weeks straight. You guess you didn’t do as good a job ‘detaching’ as you thought you did.

You mentally slap yourself. You once lived your life without him bitch, you can do it again. 

It was on a rainy Monday afternoon that you found yourself in bed—cheeto dust on your titties—marathon watching Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-Joo. Curse Nam Joohyuk. How could a man be so goddamn perfect? He was handsome, funny, loving—and most certainly not a CHEATER. 

You sigh and decide that you should probably get up and shower before Hyeri comes home and sees your miserable state. You feel bad worrying her so much. She’s always been way too kind and selfless for her own good.

You grab a fresh set of pj’s and determinedly head to the bathroom. The least you could do was stop moping and try to clear your thoughts of him. For both your sakes.

Just as you finish that thought, you catch sight of the item sitting on top of your dresser. Your favorite hoodie. His hoodie. You scowl and toss it into the trash bin. If only all men were like Nam Joohyuk. The world would be a much more peaceful place.

“Sooo, hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You know how Princess Peach is always getting her ass kidnapped?”

You laugh at the odd question. “I do recall the kidnapping of the Princess Peach ass, yes.”

“Well, it just hit me. Why doesn’t the bitch ever fight back? I mean,” Jin places a hand on his hip thoughtfully, “how is it that she manages to get kidnapped by the same dude every single time? She’s a princess. Shouldn’t she have high level security?”

“Huh. I never really thought about that.”

“How could you not! She has marshmallows for bodyguards. It’s outrageous.”

“Does it really matter?” you ask.

He sounds genuinely offended. “Of course it does. You ever see Daisy getting kidnapped?”

“Well, no but—“

“Besides, isn’t it a little ridiculous how there’s this expectation that Mario has to save her? I mean, he’s not even a prince or a knight, he’s a plumber! An italian plumber! The amount of disrespect is just astronomical considering the lengths he goes to—”

“Seokjin why are we talking about this?” You ask, baffled. You take a look at your workstation and head to the stockroom to get more large size cups. Jin trails behind you, obviously upset with your lack of interest in the conversation.

 “It’s a legitimate concern, Y/N. Someone needs to pay attention to these details and it is the duty of I, the consumer, to voice the—whoa whoa whoa, since when do we have oatmeal raisin cookies?!” He screeches mid-rant, staring at a pack of cookies he holds in his hand.

You whip around to have a look, not believing your ears. “What the fuck?”

It’s true. The box of oatmeal raisin cookies sits atop the third shelf, right next to the double chocolate chip cookies.

“The boss sent an email out on Sunday,” Yoongi stands at the doorway holding a box of promotional flyers. If it were possible, you swear tumbleweed would have made its way between the three of you with the silence that follows as you and Jin stare at each other blankly.

“Which,” Yoongi drawls out, “I guess neither of you read.” he states dryly, walking away.

“Who the hell likes oatmeal raisin?” Jin asks defensively. Personally, you couldn’t agree more. Oatmeal cookies on their own were tolerable—it was the raisin part that completely ruined the entire cookie.

“They’re Satan’s spawn,” he scowls, tossing the aforementioned cookie back in the box as if it had personally insulted him. You chuckle and shake your head, walking back to your station with the box of plastic cups.

You start stocking them back up on the counter, making sure it looks neat. 

“Hey Jin,” Yoongi calls out from the front of the store, “can you grab that window marker and write out the menu again? The rain washed some of it off.” He says, examining the missing bits of letters, nose scrunched in annoyance.

You could practically hear the way the older boy starts seething at Yoongi’s lack of use in honorifics. The tips of his ears flare a bright red, his eyes wide in disbelief.

“I’M SORRY, COME AGAIN?! I couldn’t hear you over the DISRESPECT.”

Seokjin takes great pride in being the oldest of the crew. He enjoys taking care of the others as if they were of his own blood, you included. He has a somewhat sarcastic sense of humor—but never overbearingly so—always exaggerating his facial expressions and reactions, which you personally find charming. Seokjin is also infamous for his constant dad jokes, the younger ones usually cringing at their cheesiness and have you bending over in laughter. (The other boys beg you to stop egging him on as it only fuels his desire to keep them going.) That being said, Jin is not someone who gets easily irritated. When it comes to certain things, he is just, well, a bit of a drama queen.

You stifle a laugh, watching as Yoongi pinches the bridge of his nose, a heavy sigh leaving his mouth, very obviously regretting his choice of words. “Hyung, will you please go rewrite the menu outside?”

“Thank you! Can’t you just do that from the get go? I swear you kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I mean, you all seem to forget how I practically raised you brats—”

“Hyung, please get your ass outside or so help me I will go into that break room right now, clock out, take the longest nap of my damn life and just leave you two out here to die.” 

“Alright, alright,” he says, putting his hand up, “I’m going geez. What a drama queen.” He huffs his way to the entrance, shaking his head, marker in hand. “And you guys say I’m the dramatic one.” He scoffs, shaking his head.

Yoongi stands there looking up at the ceiling with his hands on both hips as if silently asking the heavens for a tiny shred of patience.

You snicker behind your hand. You swear hearing those two bicker is your daily source of serotonin. 

It’s 3 more hours into your shift when Hamin shows up at the front counter with his signature soft boy smile.

He first visited the cafe during the summer one day back when you had just been hired. The intense summer heat wave had him coming in search of some shelter from the sun and a drink to cool off. The Grind was promoting the seasonal summer drinks and naturally, as a new hire, you tried your best to advertise it. It was only your second day on the job and in your nervous state you sold him a drink that, to just your luck, wasn’t available that day. You apologized profusely afraid that he would turn out to be a Karen, but Hamin had been very sweet about it. He befriended you after that, making frequent visits to the Grind, declaring that he had found a hidden gem.

After talking to him some more you learned that Hamin had studied psychology for two years at a local college before he decided to drop out and pursue his musical career. Of course he didn’t tell you that last part up until a couple of weeks ago, so you had been under the impression that the reason he spent so many hours at the coffee shop was to study for his exams. You weren’t the type of person to pry into someone’s personal life unless they decided to tell you themselves so you never asked. Ever since Hongwon confessed to you that both he and Hamin were working towards becoming musicians, Hamin began to share more about himself to you. He figured that now that the cat was out of the bag, he could be more open with you. Prior to that day, you knew very little about Hamin’s personal life.

“Hey you! You’re back,” you beam. 

“Yeah, gotta grind,” he pats his bag for emphasis. “Ha! Grind...” he snorts suddenly. “Get it? Cause we’re at...” he gestures to the shop and laughs to himself. He looks goofy standing there in his bright lavender tie dye hoodie, a big contrast to the muted colors of the walls. His tall lean form stands out like a sore thumb. An Adidas baseball cap adorns his head but it’s so washed out you can’t even tell what color it is—or is supposed to be. 

You laugh, shaking your head.

“Oh come on, it was funny,” he says, leaning on the counter.

“It was funny the first couple times Jin said it when I just started working here,” You correct.

“You still laughed though,” he winks at you, making you laugh again. “Anyway,” he straightens up, “Can I get the usual, please?”

You grab a cup and start writing his name. “Just you this time?” 

“Nah, my idiot friend is coming but he’s gonna run late so I’ll just order ahead of him.” He sighs, reaching into his pocket in search of his wallet. “How much is it?” He asks, fumbling through a bunch of receipts and cards.

You wave him off. “On the house.”

“No way, I can—”

“Hamin, dude, relax. You do this every time. I keep telling you, discount: friend. Total: zero.” 

“You gotta let me pay every now and then. I don’t want your coworkers to think I keep coming here to leech off you…”

“Look, if you were really taking advantage of me, you wouldn’t keep disappearing on me for weeks at a time. Consider it an advance payment for when you finally let me hear a song of yours. ”

“Sorry…” He smiles sheepishly, “It’s a deal then. Thanks Y/N, you’re the best,” he grins. You flip your hair dramatically, playing along.

You make his drink and note that work is slow enough, so you head over to his table instead of calling him over.

You place his drink on the table, “so what’re you working on today?” He looks up and thanks you, taking a sip before he answers.

“A solo project. I don’t have anything now that’s worth listening to though…” He says dejectedly. Admittedly, he’s been going though somewhat of a writer's block. 

“That’s okay! I didn’t mean to pressure you. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be glad to give it a listen if you’re still willing to let me. Good music also takes time, right?” You smile encouragingly.

Someone yells out your name before he’s able to respond. You turn at the sound, “Oh hey!” you exclaim when you see your roommate. You turn back to wish Hamin luck on his writing.

“Thanks for the lunch, Hyeri,” you pat your stuffed tummy in satisfaction. “I forgot to prep mine last night so I was honestly just gonna wait until I got home to eat,” you confess meekly.

She showed up during your shift planning to ask you what kind of food you were in the mood for so she could bring it to you, but Yoongi caught on and sent you on your lunch break so the two of you could eat together instead. Min Yoongi was a godsend. 

“I knew it! Y/N, you have to eat your meals! Do you know how detrimental it is to your health if you’re constantly working and skipping your meals?!” you cower as she scolds you. 

“I know…sorry. I just forgot...” you squeak.

“Ugh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to raise my voice, I just worry about you,” she sighs, taking her seat again.

“And I’m so thankful!” you say quickly placing your hand on hers, “I’m sorry you’re always having to take care of me. I’ll work harder so that I don’t become a burden to you. I promise. I haven’t been myself these days but...just give me some time.”

She grabs your hand with both of hers, “Hey. You’re never a burden to me, Y/N. You’re like a sister to me. And I would never put your emotions against you. You need time to heal and that’s okay. Take it at your pace. I will always look after you, no matter what. Okay?”

Your heart warms at her words. You were so grateful to have her for a best friend. You engulf her in a hug and look at the time. 

“I should head back. My break is just about over. Thank you for everything, Hyeri. Are you staying? I’ll make you a drink. On the house. You can study there?” you ask.

“Well, I was planning on going to my school’s library, but I guess I could use a drink…” She paused for a moment. “Is Jungkook working today?” She asks, hopeful. 

Her crush on your coworker was so amusing. “Unfortunately for you, not today, sorry.” She pouts cutely.

“I’ll make you a green matcha latte?”

“Pretty please.”

You giggle, “Okay, let’s head back then.” 

It was a good thing the two of you decided to eat at the chinese restaurant across the shop, so the walk isn’t long. You came here so often that the kind elderly woman who owned the restaurant had memorized your order. You couldn’t help it that their sweet and sour chicken was bomb as hell. What you would give for that recipe.

You’re internally groaning at the thought of having to go back into work when Hyeri stops in front of the entrance and lets out a low whistle. 

“Whoa, hey. Which one of your coworkers drives a damn motorcycle?!” She points to a sleek, graphite motorcycle parked on the curb, two cars away from yours. 

“Whoa. Uhh...no one, not that I’m aware of. Jin drives a Honda Civic and Yoongi ubers cause of car issues.” You shrug, opening the door. “Must be a customer’s.”

“Well, I don’t know if it’s just me, but that thing is screaming big dick energy.” She says, following behind you. You laugh and smack her shoulder. 

“You say that but what if it’s some old bald dude that listens to metal?” You ask, leading her to a table farther in the back so she can study peacefully. 

“Well err...hopefully not. I’m just saying whoever rides that thing, I wouldn’t mind riding too. Hell, I could ride all night…” she trails off. You bury your embarrassed face in your hands and try to hold in your laughter so you don’t disturb the customers. 

“Oh my god. Stop talking. You’re gonna get me in trouble.” You point at a chair, “Sit here and I’ll bring your drink. Behave,” you warn playfully.

“Yes ma'am,” She winks and points shooter fingers at you. You laugh with a roll of your eyes, heading back to clock in. 

“You seem...distracted.” Hamin says, amusement lacing his words.

“Huh?” Hongwon turns at the accusation with wide eyes.

He sighs. “I mean,” he says crossing his arms, “ever since you got here 15 minutes ago, it’s like you keep looking around for...something.”

“So, you’re saying for the past 15 minutes you’ve been watching me like a creep?” He turns his attention back to the music software in front of him. “I told you I don’t swing that way.” he says, clicking random notes on the half-finished project.

Hamin snorts. “Don’t change the subject. What‘s got you so distracted dude?” He asks, slurping up the remains of his drink through his straw.

“The only distraction here is the eggplant sitting in front of me...” He trails off when you enter the coffee shop with your friend in tow. You’re laughing, giving her a smack on the shoulder playfully at a joke she tells you.

Hamin stops his obnoxious slurping when he follows his friend’s gaze. “Ohhhhh!” he grins.

“What?” He snaps. “No ohhhh. Whatever you’re thinking, stop it right now.”

“I’m not thinking anything.” Hamin brings his hands up defensively. “Brain empty. No thoughts.” He taps the side of his head with his index finger. “Buuuttt if you were so interested you could’ve just asked, you know.”

“And what would I have asked exactly?” He asks with a tinge of annoyance.

Hamin tsks under his breath, exasperated. “Oh come on. I mean Y/N. You wanted to know if she was working. Am I right or am I right?”

“Why the hell would I wanna know that? I don’t even know her. ”

“Hongwon!” He’s caught off guard at the sound of your voice. He internally slams his own head against the table and forces a smile when you approach the table, avoiding Hamin’s gaze.

“Y/N, hey…”

“Hold on, you know each other already?” Hamin asks obnoxiously, “I only briefly mentioned you to him, but you already know his name!” Hongwon shoots daggers at the side of his head.

“Actually,” Hongwon says through gritted teeth, “we talked for a bit when I was on my way out the other day. It would have been rude of me to not introduce myself since she’s your friend.”

“He was even kind enough to walk with me on the way home even though it was raining. Thanks for that by the way, you really didn’t have to do that.”  Hamin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Shit. The smile you give him is so sincere that he almost misses what you say completely.

“Really!” Hamin grins, clearly enjoying the situation. He pats his shorter friend’s head in mock endearment. “That’s so sweet of him! I mean, considering he lives in a completely opposite di—” Hongwon sends a swift kick to his shin underneath the table.

“Fuck!” Hamin rubs the spot and laughs through the gritted teeth. “I mean...that’s sweet of him considering he’s normally so shy.” He growls at Hongwon and plasters a smile when he looks back at you. You probably think they’re both lunatics.

“Right…” You laugh, unsure of what’s happening. “By the way, did you want a drink? I’ll make it for you.” You tell Hongwon.

“Oh, uh yeah I was just gonna get an americano. Let me just—” He starts to stand up and take out some cash when you stop him.

“Are you sure that’s okay?” He asks. “I don’t want to get you in trouble…”

“Don’t worry, I get free drinks and pastries since I work here.” You say.

“And she shares them with me because I’m her favorite customer. Right, Y/N?” Hamin wiggles his eyebrows at you. You laugh and pick up his empty cup.

“Is he always this much of a moron when he comes here?” Hongwon asks, scrunching his face in distaste. You laugh and ask them to wait while you bring them coffee. 

Hamin waits until you’re completely out of ear shot before he begins his interrogation. 

“You know, for a pair of strangers, you two seem very well acquainted.” He states, eyes narrowed.

Hongwon scoffs. “You know, I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this but somehow you have a really punchable face.”

“I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this, but you’re a terrible liar.”

“Oh shut up. I didn’t lie. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think I needed to.”

“‘I don’t even know her,’” Hamin mimics.

“I don’t know her. I know her name, that’s it. Not the same thing.”

“So you like her.”

He laughs. “What are you, five? How could I like her? I just met her, idiot.”

“You walked her home.” He says pointedly.

“Part way. I only did it because it was getting late and she’s your friend.”

“Ha! Since when do you care about my friends?”

“She’s a girl, it’s different. If something happened to her because I looked the other way, it’d be on my conscience.”

“You live in completely opposite directions.”

“So what?”

“You wouldn’t even do that for me.” Hamin deadpans.

“Yeah but you’re not a cute girl.” He shrugs, crossing his arms.

“So you think she’s cute!” He slams both hands onto the table, leaning forward to peer into Hongwon’s face accusingly. 

“So what? She is cute.” He shoves him away, “that doesn’t mean I like her.”

“Hmm. Okay.” Hamin smirks and leans back in his seat.

“What?” He snaps.

“Nothing,” He says with a look on his face that screams everything but nothing.

Hongwon drags his hands over his face. “You really piss me off, you know that?”

“You may have mentioned that before,” he replies, appearing unbothered.

He’s lucky you decide to come back at that moment. He swears he’d have slapped the smile off his face had he been left alone with Hamin for a minute longer.

You set down the coffee and start to walk back to the counter. “Well, I shouldn’t bother you guys too much so I’ll leave you to it.”

“Wait, Y/N!” Hamin shifts in his seat to face you. “Are you busy Friday?” This puts Hongwon on alert.

 “Hmmm...no, I don’t think I have anything going on actually. Why what’s up?”

“You’ve been wanting to hear some of our music for a while now, right? Well,” he loops an arm around Hongwon’s shoulder, “guess who has a gig that night?”

“No way!” You squeal, covering your mouth with both hands. “Wait, but I thought you didn’t have any music that’s finished.” You frown.

“Well, it’s not that we don’t, I just kinda wanted you to hear our new stuff first. But now that I think about it, this is as good a time as any. If you’re interested, a friend of ours is hosting a party and he asked a couple of artists to play for him. It’s at the Henz Club.” 

“You mean that scary looking club in Mapo-gu?”

“Scary? I mean sure, some odd looking people hang around there, but they’re all pretty chill for the most part. Right Hongwon?” 

Hongwon slaps his arm away. “Right. Well, you’re welcome to come but you don’t have to if you’re uncomfortable.” He supplies. “We’d understand if—oof!”

“Nonsense!” Hamin butts in, shoving his elbow into Hongwon’s side. “You can bring your friend over there if you want, so you don’t have to worry about being alone.” He motions his head in the direction of Hyeri who—not so discreetly—pretends like she hasn’t been trying to make out what the three of you have been talking about for the past 10 minutes.

“Ah, but either way we won’t ditch you after the performance, I promise. How about it?”

Hongwon is still recovering from having the wind knocked out of his lungs and before he knows it, somehow you’re agreeing and Hamin is giving you the details. 

“I’m so excited, I can’t wait to hear you guys.” You say cheerfully. 

“You should see this guy on stage,” Hamin gestures to Hongwon, “he really puts on a show. Like a true rockstar.”

 “You know, you saying that doesn’t make me feel good,” Hongwon says with a frown, sitting back in his chair defeatedly. 

 “Oh and don’t be surprised if you hear a lot of screaming.” He ignores him, “There’s always a lot of fangirls, especially for Hongwon. They literally come in swarms, it's crazy.”

“Oh my god. Stop. You’re so embarrassing.” He groans, looking away.

“Wow, you’re really hyping him up,” you laugh.

“Ignore him. He’s just saying whatever the hell he wants.” 

“No way, it’s really the truth.” He insists, folding his arms across his chest.

“Y/N! We need you in the back!” Yoongi calls out, his head poking out from the staff only door. 

“I gotta go. I guess I’ll see you guys on Friday!” You say, waving. “Coming!” You call out, following after your coworker.

Hamin smiles stupidly as you leave. “Isn’t she sweet!”

Hamin and Hongwon hang around at the café for a few more hours until they decide to grab a bite to eat. For the remainder of the time they spent working on their music, Hongwon had not uttered a single word. The most Hamin had gotten out of him was a “sure” when he suggested they get burgers before heading home.

He exits his car, watching as Hongwon removes his helmet to fix the mess it makes of his hair. 

Sighing deeply, Hamin leans against the side of his car, hitting the park button on his remote. “Come on, don’t be so cold. How long are you gonna give me the silent treatment for?” 

He slips his hands into the pockets of his jeans, dreading to ask but needing to know. “Are you really that pissed off because I invited her?”

Hongwon slips the hollow side of his helmet onto the handlebar and mimics Hamin, leaning against his motorcycle. “Depends,” he says, taking out a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket to light one up, “why’d you invite her?”

Hamin considers his answer carefully, shifting his weight onto the other leg. It’s obvious that Hongwon is already upset, so anything he says will probably get him angry anyway. “I was hoping maybe you guys could hit off,” he says at last, deciding to be honest.

In truth, Hongwon isn’t surprised to hear this—he actually suspected it—but it still pisses him off nonetheless. It wasn’t the first time Hamin tried setting him up with someone. He wasn’t looking for a relationship. This was something he had told him countless times and yet, he continues to pull stunts like this.

“I know you said you aren’t looking for a relationship,” Hamin continues when he proceeds to bring the cigarette to his lips without a reply, “but I just think you could at least talk to her and—“

“And then what? We fall in love, get married and ride off into the sunset?” He cuts him off abruptly.

“No, I just—“ he starts to say but stops when he can’t think of how to word it correctly.

“I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking Y/N went through a bad breakup, and so did I. You think maybe the two of us can find the comfort we couldn’t find with our previous relationships, in each other.” He pauses to take a drag of his cigarette. 

“I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but that's a load of shit. This idea you have that love can just make me forget about all my trauma, is a load of shit.” Hamin flinches at the sudden aggression in his tone. This really didn’t come across the way he intended it to.

“Guess what, I’m fucked up Hamin!” He continues, raking a frustrated hand through his hair. “I have too many damn issues and I don’t need some chick to try to figure me out or fix me. I told you already, I’m happy with the way things are. I’m not gonna play into your stupid games just because you want to play fuckin’ cupid.” Hongwon scowls, taking another drag of his cigarette.

Hamin keeps his gaze on the ground, frustrated with how easily and accurately Hongwon is able to guess what he’s thinking. He didn’t realize how terrible it all sounded out loud. He racks his brain for something—anything—to say and argue that those aren’t his intentions, but Hongwon is speaking again before he’s able to do so successfully. 

“I don’t care if you invite her. Just don’t go expecting anything out of me.”

He nods his head weakly. “I didn’t mean for it to sound like that, bro…” He says scratching his neck, “I’m not trying to find someone to fix you...” he trails off.

“It’s cool.” He sniffles, the cold air getting to him. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to snap like that.”

Hamin is taken aback for a second, not expecting him to apologize. He kicks the floor with his sneaker, “S’cool.”

“You still hungry?” Hamin asks, afraid that their little spat would create unnecessary tension between them.

Hongwon tosses his cigarette onto the floor to put it out with his sneaker. “Fuckin’ starving.”

You went home together with Hyeri later that afternoon once your shift was over. It was always nice to go home when the sun was setting and the air felt cooler. You loved how quiet the city got, allowing you to simply be one with your thoughts. 

Unfortunately for you, today was not one of those days.

You release a sigh as you continue to pretend to not notice Hyeri’s constant fidgeting. “Hyeri, if you want to know so badly just ask already.”

She releases a giant breath as if she had been holding it this entire time. “Oh thank goodness because I felt like I was actually going to die if you didn’t say something soon,” she says grabbing your arm excitedly, like a puppy who was just called over by its owner. 

“What were you doing with those two hotties I’ve never seen before?” You couldn’t tell what made her more excited―the fact that she found them so attractive or the fact that you were talking to men other than your coworkers. “Is one of them single?” she stops walking and gasps, “Are they both single?!”

An older lady walking her Chihuahua gives you a scornful look as she passes the two of you and you bring your finger to your lips to shush Hyeri. “Sorry,” she says with a giggle, “but this is huge!”

You pull her along with you to cross the short crosswalk and to the steps of your apartment complex, “It’s not a big deal. Besides, you’ve seen Hamin before.” You say, slipping your house key into the lock and opening the door.

“Okay but, this time there was another guy too. And you guys talked for like 20 minutes! On your shift!” She says, removing her shoes quickly to stand in front of you excitedly. You stop untying your shoelaces to give her a look.

“He’s a friend I made through Hamin. Who is also just my friend,” You tell her slowly as if you were explaining it to a child but you can tell by her smile that she’s not listening. You sigh and slip your work shoes off, putting them in the hallway closet. Hyeri hovers behind you, not wanting to be too pushy but also too worked up to leave you alone.

You stand up straight and turn around. “Okay fine. Hamin invited me to this party,” this already has Hyeri clasping her hands over mouth, “he and his friend are playing a gig for a friend—”

She’s squealing and jumping around before you can finish your sentence. “And they want you there as their plus one! Oh my—”

“But I think Hamin knows about the breakup and he feels bad and that’s why he invited me,” you say quickly. Hyeri stops mid spin to give you an incredulous look. “I mean, they kind of saw the whole thing since it happened at work,” you say glumly.

Hyeri wraps her arms around you when she sees how you deflate at the reminder. “Hey, don’t make such a sad face. You guys have been friends for a while now, right? I haven’t met the guy but I’m sure he invited you because he wants you there and not because he pities you.”

“Sorry. I think I’ve been trying too hard not to think about it so all the negative thoughts are really hitting me now,” you say, resting your head on her shoulder. She always had such a comforting mom warmth to her.

She releases you and gives you a comforting smile. “Do you want to go?”

“Well,” you sit on your bed exhausted, “I actually didn’t know Hamin played music until recently. I’ve really been wanting to hear some of his stuff and apparently his friend does music too..”

“Girl, there’s your answer! Who says you have to spend your days sad and alone after a breakup? If you want to go, go.” She encourages you. She had a point. Although somewhere in the back of your mind, you felt guilty. When Hamin invited you, you were super stoked and set on going but now that you were really thinking about it, you couldn’t help but think of Jaewon.

“I can tell you’re overthinking this,” Hyeri says. “Don’t. You’re a free woman! Free from a man who took advantage of you and didn’t know how to treasure you. Do whatever the fuck you want because it’s no one’s business. It’s not like you’re planning to go sleep around.” She crosses her arms across her chest, “and even if you are guess what, it’s still no one’s business.” She says vehemently.

You pick at your nails and bite your lip. “Okay.”

“Okay?!”

“Yeah, I’ll go.”

She squeals again and launches herself onto you. You land with an oof on your bed, her head barely missing yours by an arm hair. “Oh, one more thing though,” you manage to say from beneath her. “They kind of invited you too.”

Hyeri lifts herself up at this. She stares at you with wide eyes, “what do you mean?”

“I guess they saw us talking together and figured we were friends. Also, they caught you trying to eavesdrop on our conversation.” You tell her.

“Nooooooooooo,” she cries and runs to throw herself onto her bed face flat.

“It was the hiding behind an upside down textbook for me,” you snicker.

“Y/N, please I’m in the middle of dying of embarrassment.”

[evermorehaikyuu]

hiii, not sure if you remember me cause I sent you an ask as an anon before (abt reading your angstember series which I totally loved) but yeaaa.. sooo I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now.. 🙈 can you please make an angst but with fluff ending oneshots for either of my fake blonde bois (tsumu, kenma, terushima) and maybe my baby akaashi.. doesn't need to be long tho, and I'd read anything under your comfort zone ♥️ hehe sml for you and your blog. 🍀xoxo

omg YES I DO REMEMBER YOU! You were the one saying something about Atsumu, Kenma and Akaashi and I was so happy about the ask! I’ll do all of them, thank you for coming in and requesting more angst (to fluff, but no matter, I would love to do it because I have some ideas hehehe). More love for you nonie you deserve the world. All of the boys are under the cut! Also, about three of these are really light angst, so let's get going!

Yet Another Mishap

Terushima had not expected things to turn out the way they did. It wasn’t part of the plan. Y/N's body, cold in his arms, was never part of the plan

His hands shook as he closed her eyes and tears streamed down his cheeks as he gulped and said with a shaky voice, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault and because of me, you're dead. I loved you so much, maybe I shouldn't have. Because if I didn't, you'd still be here. Y/N, I love you, I love you so much. Please...stay safe wherever you are now. You can be at peace now."

With heartwrenching sobs, he hugged her body close to him and let out every single bawl within him. Everything hurt. She was gone. It was his fault. He'd have to live with the fact that he had practically killed her.

"Cut! That's a wrap."

Y/N's eyes popped open as she grinned. "That was good--Yuuji?!"

Terushima was genuinely crying as he kept hugging her close to him and wailed, "I don't want you to die, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

Y/N chuckled a bit as she held him in her arms and tried to comfort him. "I'm not going to die Yuuji, it was just part of the scene. Come on, we have to move, it's Futamata's turn next."

Terushima and Y/N had been co-stars and incredibly close for months. Just the thought of losing her made him almost break down. But with a squeeze of her hand, he realized he was okay.

Everything was okay.

~

Found Again

"Are you listening to me?" Y/N growled at the blond boy, who scoffed at her.

"You're kidding me. You've got to be kidding me. There is no way you're actually mad about this." Atsumu tried to walk over to her only to have her take several steps back.

"Get away from me. You're a cheater, you're a liar, you tricked me into falling for your plan and now I've lost it all! This is all your fault, Atsumu Miya!" Y/N screamed as she crossed her arms and glared at the floor as if trying to burn a whole into it.

"It was just a game! It was just Uno!" Atsumu couldn't help but laugh at the moment, making her stare up at him.

They had been playing Uno for the past hour to kill time as Osamu went out to get dinner for the three of them. Atsumu had the genius idea to play Uno, thus winding them up in their current situation.

"It wasn't JUST Uno, you cheated!" Y/N huffed. Atsumu pulled her into his arms and her body's immediate instinct was to melt into him.

"Aw, come on, don't be mad. We can play again and this time I promise I won't cheat."

"You're on. You better not cheat." Y/N shuffled the cards again and smiled at the boy across from her, grateful to have him in her life.

~

Messed Up

"Please come back, I miss you." Y/N said over the phone, a little whimper coming out of her as her voice trembled. "Please, Kenma, please."

"No, Y/N. No matter how many times you beg for me to come back, I'm not going to. You destroyed my trust. You destroyed us." Kenma's voice was twisted in another emotion and Y/N could sense it.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen--"

"Again? You're kidding me. This is the third time you've done it, I don't know why I keep coming back to you."

"How am I supposed to play when you've never taught me?!" Y/N screamed. "Come back, our village is burning down!"

Kenma and Y/N were both playing Minecraft and this was going to be the third time she let the village burn down and it had taken them so many hours to design them again. Kenma had gone hunting while Y/N stayed behind.

"This is why I should've bought you a headset. Okay, okay, fine, I'm coming back. But if I see fire, I'm kicking you out of my server."

Y/N look at the torches in the village and said, "Do torches count?"

"Yes."

"Damn it, Kenma!"

~

Same Things

Akaashi started pacing his room, trying to think of an excuse as to why he didn't want to go with Y/N. He had a reason why he didn't want to go but it would be invalid in her eyes and thus breaking her heart. Maybe he was leading her on, maybe not. Either way, he needed a plan.

"Akaashi, I'm back!" Y/N called out from the doorway. "Are you ready to go?"

Akaashi waited until she stepped into the room to confront her. "I'm sorry, Y/N, I have something to do tonight."

Y/N frowned and crossed her arms. "Akaashi, stop lying to me. You have a tell when you're lying."

"I'm not lying." He said, fibbing through his teeth. "I can't go."

"We've been married for 3 years, do you think I'm that brainless?" Y/N asked. "What are you doing tonight?"

Akaashi had to tell her. It would break her heart, but at least he'd be honest. "I don't want to go see the movie you want to see."

"Akaashi, but it's a classic!"

"It's the same Shrek over and over again! I'd rather watch something else at home with you."

Y/N groaned as she facepalmed. "If you come with me, we can watch whatever you want later."

"Deal. Let's go see the movie you call a classic."

"It is a classic, Akaashi."

[williamaltman]

Luke/Alex Rant

Negativity Alert.

So, ugh, the whole Luke/Alex being exes thing actually brings me so much pain, and it’s like no one understands me :(

I’m actually gonna start with the part that’s gonna make people hate me, which is probably not the best idea when looking for sympathy/empathy/understanding, but oh well, it just makes the most sense to me to write it like that... Thanks for those who bear with me.

First of all... It’s not really canon. I mean, maybe it could be. Maybe they could make it in s2. But I’m tired of people saying it’s straight up confirmed, putting it on wikis and everything. Owen and Charlie were just chatting, joking around and having fun with the fans on live, they weren’t being completely serious.

They clearly like to support fan theories, headcanons, ships. Yet on actual serious interviews they have never mentioned that. They have even talked about how Flynn/Reggie was supposed to be a thing, but not that. Not once did it come up when talking about LGBT representation on the show either(why would they not say Luke isn’t straight?).

I understand having a headcanon and feeling validated when the actors support it but it seems like most people legit can’t tell the difference between that and actual officially canon things? It seems like people either think this is actually written in the show(which we don’t have any evidence of) or that the actors have the authority to decide what’s canon just like the writers/showrunners/directors, which... It’s just not true?

Now, why it actually upsets me.

Well, just for starters... IT’S SO SAD??? I really don’t get what joy people get into characters being broken up??? And I mean, the fact that they stayed friends and are still fine with each other is nice I guess, and I see why that could be appreciated... But at the same time the one thing that made people get this idea was when they held hands in episode 2 when they got scared... With the idea being that Luke instinctively went to Alex to cope, and then Alex said “Let’s not” as in “Let’s not make it weird, we’re not together anymore”.

Which is so freaking sad??? The idea that they used to be each other’s emotional support and now even though they’re friends they can never really be that close anymore? Which, means that things are NOT just completely fine like ~UwU happy exes~??? Same for the also popular "evidence" that Luke supposedly looked sad when he realized Alex liked Willie.

And so, we go to the fact that... They’re clearly not happening “again". Willex and Juke/Palina are the ships. I see most people who are into this saying they’re into the current ships anyway and want for them to thrive and for Luke/Alex to stay only in the past. Which, I mean... I KINDA get, liking ships in the past but wanting them to move on. But that makes more sense to me when it’s something that it’s actually in the thing, not something that’s not shown and you’re pushing to happen only to add heartbreak that didn’t need to be there.

EVEN THEN, pushing that aside and understanding liking this idea of them in the past... Why need for that to be canon then??? If it’s all about the fanfics and fanarts and aesthetics and somewhat suggestive moments to relate to that but nothing actually substantial on the show... Then why push for more than that and open the door for people to get invested and want for them to get back together, when for you nothing’s gonna change either way? It’s so counter-productive.

And if you actually want for them to get back together... Well the idea that the creators of a show targeted at teenage girls would take away the main het ship for a gay one even though there’s already a canon gay ship that doesn’t interfere with anything is ridiculous. So again, keeping it as a headcanon and maybe reading fics where they get a happy ending instead of pushing it as canon it’s the best idea possible too.

Ok, I didn’t mean for this post to be so argumentative and combatitive. I meant for it to be more about my feelings really. But now that I feel like I’ve actually brought good arguments to my stance, there’s that feeling that actually exposing my real emotional reason to think like that is gonna “ruin it” and just invalidate everything... But well, I guess that’s too bad, and if anyone’s taking this seriously at all, which most likely isn’t the case, I again ask you to cut me some slack and not just think everything I said is dumb as hell because of what comes later? Like let’s be real here, we’re all coming from some kind of emotional place here, right? Even getting so attached to fictional characters at all.

So, the thing is, I WOULD LOVE LUKEALEX SO MUCH. The possible dynamic and/or tropes/archetypes that they could have would be literally my weakness. It’s already my weakness. In fact what I might consider my very first serious ship already has it. And god, did I suffer for that, and in the end I don’t even know if the results were worthy and if I’m even sure of what they were. 

And that ship was actually a wlw one. A mlm one(I’m a gay guy) makes it 10x worse(the fact that Luke is like totally the kind of character I’m attracted to and Charlie is also like, perfect, doesn’t help either). It would make me invested in a way that would probably already be too much if they were together, but them being exes just absoutely DESTROYS ME. Like on a visceral level.

And the fact that the idea is most of the time that Luke was the one who was there for Alex when he came out. And that maybe Luke was his first love. And now that's gone. It absolutely kills me. It’s so so so tragic.

Like, I actually read a fic like this. Before this whole thing became so popular and Owen/Charlie said anything about it. And it destroyed me. I bawled my eyes out for like an hour. As well-written and touching as it was, it wasn’t worthy, it was definetely not worth suffering so much like a month after reading it.

So it’s just so painful that for most people this is just a cute little thing that doesn’t affect them at all while it truly hurts me so much :/

So yeah, this is my rant. It should probably have been two separate posts, one talking about how I don’t think it’s really canon and one why i don’t want to... Cause as I said, I feel like no one is gonna take me seriously while if I ended it on the arguing part it would lend more credence to it. And I do think people desparately need to take a step back in regards to how they’re considering this 100% confirmed canon(or even anything besides a little teasing).

But I had to vent I guess. Please be kind enough not to come here fight me. Edit: I didn’t mention this at first cause it’s kind of not the main reason and not relevant to LukeAlex specifically, but: I value canon MLM ships A LOT, and watching the show I loved Willex so much and saw nothing between Luke and Alex, so I do 100% want to focus on the canon ship instead of going down this route of hyping up a crackship(that wouldn’t be a crackship if the exes thing was made canon, and might not even classify a crackship even now, but still). I’m not trying to make a point about how people who ship LukeAlex are evil (because, in a way, I do too!), and I definetly don’t want to throw the racism card, but yeah. Just a little extra point to make.

[yikesharringrove]

hello! i know you’re on a break and you don’t have to write this but i just thought of this and i’m a little obsessed with the idea so i thought i’d share! Imagine Olympian Steve and Billy, like snowboarder Billy and ice skater Steve (who could also be non-binary or gender non conforming) ?? and they are both super dedicated and they meet at the olympics one year and just hit it off, start dating in secret beacuse they don’t want the press that comes with being a olympic couple (part 1)

(part 2) and the only people that know are close friends but then when they show up for the olympics a few years after they met something happens to one of them, my thought is Billy totally crashes and gets hurt and steve doesn’t even know until after he preformed and he’s sitting with his coach and a reporter is giving an update on billy’s condition and steve overhears it and just breaks down, and people are filming him just sobbing his eyes out... (part 3) Steve ends up getting in the top three but they can barley stand on the podium they are so freaked out nobody’s telling them anything and he can’t even pull the significant other card to go see him because then he’s outing them and it’s very awful meanwhile Billy, whose doing pretty good just like a broken arm or something, is sitting in a hospital bed watching steve preform and being very proud and hen promptly freaking out because steve is suddenly bawling... (part 4) finally steve is able to go see billy and they are literally so relived to see he’s doing ok but they are both big time emotional and the internet is already theorizing about why steve was so freaked out so they decide to come out about their relationship and steve just plans on like casually mentioning it during an interview but billy decides to be extra and proposed to steve on live tv, they end up crying a lot more but obviously say yes (sorry this was so long)

-

This request has awakened my deep seeded LOVE of Shaun White. He was one of my first famous people crushes back when he was mostly skateboarding and let me TELL YOU the most recent winter olympic games, when he made his come back, and he almost didn’t get gold, but then he DID and the announcer went “the flying tomato flew again tonight!” I LOST IT!!!1

Plus I like the winter games more than the summer ones 🤷‍♀️

The beginning is loosely based off the fact that the Olympic Village is apparently just like, one big orgy the whole time lmao

-

“Well, aren’t you a pretty little thing.”

Billy, of course, knew who Steve Harrington is. His eyes had been glued to the screen in the PT room as he watched Steve compete, sakting beautifully in the Men’s Individuals to earn silver and make it look easy, helping the U.S. team to earn overall gold.

Granted, Billy had walked away with golds in slopestyle and halfpipe, and he wanted to celebrate.

Steve turned to Billy, dark eyes flicking over him.

“No thank you.” They turned back around, finishing their drink and placing the empty cup on the bar top.

“I’m, sorry?”

“I said no thank you.”

“No thank you to what?”

“To having sex with you.”

“I never said anything about having sex?”

“You slid over here, called me pretty, and gave me hard bedroom eyes. You wanna plow me, and I’m just not in the mood.” They went to push past Billy, put he took their wrist, holding loosely.

“Look, I’m sorry. I really did just come over to talk. I respect the hell out of you. You’re incredibly talented and just came onto the scene. I mean, this is your first Olympics, right?” They glanced at him through their lashes, nodding slowly. “I took me, like two games before I even got bronze. You’re a fucking good athlete. Just wanted to say.” He let go of their wrist. They bit their lip.

“You wanna buy me a drink? Keep telling me what a good athlete I am?” Billy grinned as they slip back into their stool.

-

Billy threw himself onto the couch, head resting in Steve’s lap. He groaned loudly, tracking Steve’s face for some kind of response.

He groaned again, louder this time. Steve bit their lip, trying not to laugh as they watched the tv.

He groaned one more time.

“Oh, gosh, Billy. Didn’t even notice you down here.”

They had stayed up all night that first night they met in person, had talked for hours about how they found their respective sports, what growing up was like.

Steve came from a little town in the Midwest. A little town in the Midwest that bred hockey players like nowhere else. Steve’s father had put them in hockey when they were young enough to stand on skates, but then Steve started showing a rapidly growing interest in figure skating, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Billy was always a skateboarder at heart. He grew up in California, bumming around the Venice Beach skate park with his friends whenever they could, skipping school to grind rails. And then his dad got married, and uprooted the whole family, moving them a few states over to fucking Utah. Billy figured snowboarding was close enough to skating that he could figure it out. So he did. And he loved it.

He and Steve had moved in together three years ago, almost exactly a year into their relationship. Steve wanted to begin working with a new coach, so Billy packed up his boards, and moved his shit back to California, Billy training most days at Mammoth Mountain.

“My body hurts.” He had been training hard, they both had, as the games were fast approaching.

“I mean, do you want me to actually help, or do you want me to help?” Steve’s long fingers were trailing along Billy’s chest. Billy just groaned.

“I gotta go ice. You can help later.” He tugged Steve down to press a kiss to their lips, heading off to fill the bathtub with ice, sink down low into it.

The opening ceremony was in less than two weeks, and Billy was fucking excited. He was in peak shape, had been perfecting his backside triple 1440 nosegrab.

He stretched out his sore muscles in the ice, made a mental note to get in with his PT tomorrow.

-

It had been a grueling week.

Billy had Steve had barely seen one another in between training and PT appointments and competing.

And of course the Men’s Figure Skating Final took place a few hours after the Men’s Slopestyle Final. Billy had already secured gold in the halfpipe.

Steve was sitting in their skates, stretching out before heading out to the ice.

They cleared their mind, going over their program again and again.

They got ready to take the ice.

They flew through their program, hitting every jump, every spin beautifully, trying not to cry as they left the ice.They knew they had fucking nailed it.

They stood, waiting for their marks.

“Steve! Steve! Have you heard about Billy Hargrove’s fall!” Steve’s head whipped around, staring at the reporter. “Aren’t you two friends?”

“Stevie, don’t pay them attention.” Their coach was trying to steer them away from the gaggle of cameras.

“No, I gotta, what happened to Billy?” They were trying to push back to the reporters. “What happened to Billy?”

“He fell in the slopestyle final! Had to be taken off in a gurney!” One of the reporters shouted back. Steve crumbled, let their coach take some of their weight.

“Steve, focus on your run.” They were shaking as they were led back to the bench, had tears streaming down their face.

“But, is Billy okay?” They didn’t even listen as their score was announced, as the crowd went fucking crazy for their gold metal.

And all Steve wanted was to get to Billy, to see if he was okay.

They were dragged on shaking legs to the podium, their face went, their hands trembling.

They had to stand there, listen to the U.S. National Anthem without fucking collapsing. They didn’t even give a fuck that they were ugly crying on international television.

And they couldn’t just say get me the FUCK to my boyfriend.

-

Billy was sitting in a hospital bed, his arm in a plaster cast

He had fucked up his elbow, completely dislocating it as he fell onto the hard snow. He was livid with himself for fucking up his slope style, was guaranteed at least bronze, but had come in sixth due to his nasty spill.

But he watched from the medical center as Steve skated so fucking perfectly in the finals, had set a new record for themself, the highest score they had ever gotten with an absolutely gorgeous program.

But something was, something was wrong with the way they stood on the pedestal, their tears were not celebratory as they appeared to be working themself into a panic.

And all Billy wanted was to get to Steve, to see if they were okay.

-

“Bill, oh my fucking God.” Steve just about threw themself onto Billy’s bed. They were fucking sobbing into his lap.

“Stevie, I’m okay. I’m good.”

“All they, all they said was the you were hurt, had to be taken off the course in a stretcher.”

“Yeah, I smashed myself pretty hard. But I’m okay. They fixed it.” Steve’s eyes were still all watery, made them looker even bigger.

“I just, I wanted to fucking scream at everyone to let me get to my boyfriend.” Billy trailed one hand down Steve’s face, just delicate fingers touching soft skin.

“We could tell people, if you want.” Billy had been extremely private about his sexuality throughout his career. He still had trouble coming to terms with himself, still had trouble getting his thoughts and feelings out from under his father’s thumb.

“We don’t have to.” Steve, on the other hand, had been sick of getting misgendered in interviews, had come out publicly with an Instagram post, a cute mirror selfie in a full face of makeup, a little yellow sundress Billy loved, and caption that just read They/Them.

“I want to. Want to tell the whole world how much I love you.”

-

Steve’s idea was just to mention it casually in an interview.

They had a string of interviews after their gold medal win, after they broke a personal record today.

But Billy had another plan.

He’s had the ring for close to eight months at this point, was just biding his time, waiting for the perfect moment.

And as he sat there, watching Steve smile so pretty at the reporter, he realized.

Now’s the time.

“You were extremely emotional on the stand after accepting your gold medal. Walk me through what you were feeling.”

“To be honest, it didn’t even register that I had won, and broken a personal score record. Someone had just informed me that my boyfriend had gotten hurt during the slopestyle finals, and I didn’t know if he was okay.”

“Your boyfriend? Billy Hargrove, then.”

“Yeah. I just heard he was in the hospital as I was waiting for my scores and I just kinda, kinda lost it.” Steve’s eyes trailed over to meet Billy’s, standing in the studio behind the camera.

He was holding the ring tightly in his hand, the one that wasn’t in a bulky cast.

Now or never.

“So, you and Billy Hargrove are currently in a relationship. How long has that been going on?” Steve gestured at Billy to join them on the couch. One of the crew members gestured for him to join them on the couch.

So he walked over, settled right in next to Steve.

“Since the last winter games, actually. That’s when we first met.” Billy grinned at Steve, leaned over to kiss them on the cheek. His palms were sweaty.

“Congratulations to you both!” Billy took a deep breath.

“It’s been really great! We live together and everything. Have a chubby little cat. The whole nine.”

The reporter laughed along with them, Billy’s leg was shaking.

“It’s easier dating an athlete, I think. They understand the rigor you got through training, how you put your body through Hell because you’re passionate about it.” Steve was using their hands to explain. Billy took a deep breath.

“So, you two have been completely quiet about your romantic relationship for these four years you’ve been together. Why did you choose to keep private, and why are you going public now?”

“Well, it was really hard for me when I heard Billy got hurt. I couldn’t just pull the significant other card to find out more information.”

“And we chose to stay private for a multitude of reasons. We mainly just wanted our careers to be the focus of our media attention and not our relationship.” Billy and Steve had spoken extensively about what they were going to say in the interview. Billy was incredibly private, didn’t really want to get into the whole my father physically abused me for being gay and I still have trouble accepting myself thing on public television. So they glossed over it.

“But things are going well?”

Now or never.

Billy’s heart was pounding in his ears. He could barely hear Steve over the sound of his own blood rushing. Was just able to tell when he finished speaking.

“It’s been a wonderful few years. In fact, it’s been so good, that, uh, I want it to never stop.” He took a deep breath. And slid off the couch.

Steve gasped as Billy settled on one knee on the floor, they had tears in their eyes when Billy smiled up at them, presented the pretty gold ring.

“Sweet Thing, you are the best thing to ever happen. You are kind, and compassionate, and so dedicated. I love everything about you, from how graceful you are on the ice, to how silly you are when it’s just the two of us. You are so perfect to me. I want my life to be exactly like these past four years have been, full of love, and laughter, and those snicker doodles you make just because you know I love them.”

Steve was openly bawling, clutching hands with the reporter.

“So, Stevie. Will you marry me?”

Steve launched themself at Billy, kissing his face, breathing yes yes yes into his skin, just barely remembering to mind his sore arm.

Billy took shaky breaths as he slid the ring on Steve’s finger.

-

Steve was tucked under Billy’s arm as they headed back to his room.

“I thought we had decided to just like, casually come out. I can’t believe you fucking proposed on live t.v.” Steve was staring at their ring.

“Been thinkin’ of proposals that are good enough for you for months. Figured, you know, might as well.”

“You coulda given me a Ring Pop in an alley outside of a biker bar and I still woulda said yes.”

“Yeah, but that clip has probably already gone viral. Now you can watch it whenever you wanna feel soft.” Steve scrambled for their phone, nose practically pressed against it as they looked for the clip.

Billy just laughed, shaking his head as he unlocked the door.

[seraph-novak]

Forever, My Love (15x14)

Originally posted on AO3

What if the interdimensional geoscope had given Dean a glimpse of what could be if he weren’t so afraid of his own feelings?

Likes/comments/reblogs are very much appreciated ♥

~~~

Dean had got into the habit of checking the geoscope every day, usually while Sam was out on his morning run, and Mrs. Butters was busy teaching Jack how to bake. He could snatch around twenty minutes of privacy, if he timed it right. It was never enough to satisfy him, but he doubted anything but a lifetime of staring through the magical eyepiece would ever be enough. Sure, it made him feel like a fucking peeping Tom, but there was something so irresistibly addictive about the geoscope; he knew he’d reached a point in his life where there was no turning back, no realistic chance of making any drastic, life-changing decisions that could spin him in a whole new direction, a better direction, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t bask in the accomplishments of his interdimensional counterparts. Even the gut-wrenching crash he almost always experienced after tearing himself away wasn’t enough to discourage him. He needed his daily fix, no matter how crappy and self-pitying it made him feel in the aftermath. He needed to remind himself that somewhere out there, in another lifetime, he’d had the balls to make all the right decisions, that he wasn’t a stinking coward in every dimension. 

With that in mind, he quietly slipped through the gap of his bedroom door, scanning the corridors left and right before slinking off towards the library, keeping his footsteps as light and delicate as he could manage. Sam’s door was already open, his bed neatly made and his running shoes nowhere to be seen. If he was sticking to his usual routine, which was normally the case on the days they weren’t hunting, he wouldn’t be back for at least another hour. 

As he made his way into the library, he could hear the distant clang of pots and pans being pulled from their various places in the kitchen; he couldn’t smell the rich, buttery aroma of pancakes yet, however, which meant he probably had at least half an hour before Mrs. Butters and Jack whipped up the batter and started making breakfast. He had plenty of time. 

With one last glance around the room, Dean pulled up a chair and positioned himself behind the geoscope, shaking out his hands and blinking his eyes to make sure they wouldn’t start stinging straight away. He hated having to pull away from the geoscope before he was ready, the gloomy normalcy of his own reality never failing to dampen the golden rush of warmth and joy that settled inside his chest while immersing himself in other dimensions. By now, he knew which ones to avoid, and which ones hit the right spot; his hands worked on autopilot as he adjusted the various buttons and dials hidden on the lidded panel beneath the eyepiece, the controls that allowed him to focus on specific dimensions. He had his favourites, of course, but he liked to switch things up now and again. Plus, the other dimensions were slowly but surely falling off the radar, no doubt due to Chuck’s celestial tantrum; he was trashing all the toys he no longer played with at an exponential rate, making it increasingly harder for Dean to find any half-decent dimensions that didn’t make him want to fucking bawl his eyes out. Without the option of being picky, he could settle on just about any dimension where the vast majority of his friends and family were still alive (Sammy and Cas were a dealbreaker) and they hadn’t all spiralled into a dark, depressive state of complete and utter hopelessness yet. 

But the dimensions that really did it for him, the ones he purposely sought out when he needed a pick-me-up, were the ones where he was actually happy. And not just him, but Sam and Cas and Jack and Eileen and even his mom, in the rare dimensions where she was still alive. He loved spying on these dimensions, not just because they were full of genuine smiles and laughter, but because they always included one thing – one insane, dizzying factor that had almost given him a fucking heart attack the first time he stumbled across it. Even now, after weeks of adjusting to the heart-stuttering notion that multiple versions of himself had managed to take the plunge he’d never even considered taking himself until recently, his breath still caught in back of his throat every time he switched to one of these dimensions, the geoscope automatically directing him to wherever the ‘other Dean’ was hanging around, and found himself in a compromising position with Cas, usually pressed up against a wall somewhere with the angel’s tongue shoved down his throat, or sometimes nestled quietly together in some private corner of the bunker, simply holding each other close. Those were the situations that really got to him, the ones that filled him with an aching sense of longing that left him walking in a trance for hours after abandoning the geoscope. Sam and Jack would bombard him with questions of concern whenever he got into one of those states, and Mrs. Butters would simply fix him with a knowing smile and slide a plate of grilled cheese towards him, a gesture that never failed to lift his spirits. 

It was a shock, that’s for sure. He didn’t really know if it even made any sense, if that was something he’d ever have the guts to do, even in a dimension where things usually went according to plan, and the good times generally outweighed the bad. But, even so, he found himself craving those crazy snippets of lust and comfort, imagining his own Cas, the version he’d continuously stomped on and treated like crap for over a decade, holding him with the same level of gentleness and care, gazing down at him with the same adoration in his eyes as he carded those long, nimble fingers through his hair... It was something the real him, the version staring desperately down an interdimensional geoscope like he was a fucking addict seeking his next high, could never possibly deserve. 

But that didn’t stop him from wanting it. 

He flipped through a few of his regular channels, a lump steadily rising in his throat as he kept coming up with nothing but darkness, the interdimensional version of TV static. There was only one thing all that nothingness could mean, but he tried not to think too hard on it. He couldn’t bear the thought of all those worlds, all those versions of him and Sam and Cas and every other sorry sucker on earth no longer existing. Had they been together when all those dimensions were wiped out? Had all those versions of him and Cas managed to share one final kiss before the end, or did they not even see it coming? Not even get a chance to say goodbye, to tell each other how much they – 

“Fuck.”

There was bile stinging the back of his throat, his eyes filling with tears that spilled down his cheeks as he scrubbed a hand over his face, the breath sweeping out of him in one long, deflating shudder. He shoved his chair away from the geoscope and closed his eyes for a moment, the blood rushing loud and hot inside his head. After a while, the familiar smell of pancakes wafted into the room, the triumphant tittering of Mrs. Butters stirring him from his reverie. He swallowed thickly and sat up in his chair. He only had a few more minutes before Jack came galloping into the library to announce breakfast, no doubt grinning from ear to ear like a little kid. This time tomorrow, it wouldn’t surprise him if every single dimension in the geoscope was no longer visible. Shit, it wouldn’t be long before their own dimension was nothing but a forgotten smear of nothingness. This might be his last chance to selfishly indulge himself in all the beautiful what-ifs of the universe, and there was no way in hell he was going to pass that up.

He allowed himself another deep breath, then dragged his chair back towards the geoscope, ignoring the burn of tears as he peered into the eyepiece once more. Fiddling with one of the dials for a few moments managed to transport him to a version of himself sitting down in what appeared to be the bunker’s dungeon, his head hanging in his hands. He was about to switch over, already sensing this wasn’t a happy dimension, when Cas appeared in the frame, slowly approaching Dean like a wounded animal before sitting down beside him, his arm sliding around his shoulders. Almost immediately, Dean barrelled into his chest, his hands clutching at the front of Cas’ shirt. He wasn’t crying, not quite, but his shoulders were shaking with silent, tearless sobs. It was like he had nothing left inside him to cry out. 

“It’s over,” he said, his voice hollow. He lifted his head and regarded Cas closely. “How long d’you think we’ve got?”

Cas pressed his lips together, arm tightening around him. “Not long.”

“Days? Hours?”

“I’m thinking minutes, Dean.”

“Fuck.”

“Chuck is done playing his games. He’s won. There’s no reason to drag this out.” He tipped his head back, eyes screwed shut. This version of Cas was apparently more powerful than his; there was a brief flash of white-blue light in his pupils as he opened his eyes again, the lines in his forehead smoothing out as the rush of power ebbed away. “I’m detecting unusual levels of radiation in the atmosphere. I think it will all be over very soon.”

Dean barked a wet laugh and nuzzled his head against Cas’ shoulder. “At least it’ll be quick. Not like it was for Sammy.”

“Dean...”

“It’s not fair, Cas. It wasn’t supposed to end this way, ya know?”

“I know.” Cas rubbed his nose against Dean’s scalp, breathing him in. It was hard to tell from a distance, but it looked like he was kissing his hair. At least this version of them had seemingly managed to get their crap together before the end. “I won’t leave you, my love. I’ll be here.”

Well, that was new.

“Promise?”

“Always,” Cas whispered, dragging his lips softly against Dean’s temple, until their mouths connected in a chaste kiss. Dean’s eyes were still closed when they parted, his hands trembling against Cas’ chest. He looked so fucking small like that, but somehow unafraid. Maybe it was the fact that dying in a blazing fire was a lot less scary than living in a world without his brother, or maybe it was the angel wrapped around him, kissing his cheek and stroking his back. Either way, he looked at peace. Or as peaceful as anyone could hope to be when the world was coming to an end. 

“Do you think... heaven’ll still exist?” Dean asked. He seemed hesitant to voice the question, almost bashful, as if he already knew the answer, but was naively hoping for Cas to prove him wrong. 

After a beat of telling silence, Cas raised Dean’s chin with the pad of his thumb and gently cupped his cheek. He was wearing a crooked smile, the one that lifted one side of his mouth with a lazy flash of teeth, his eyes lidded softly. Dean had only seen it a couple times before in his own dimension, usually when Cas was depressed or deluded or fucking possessed. It made a nice change to see it directed at him, or a version of him, with nothing but love behind its meaning. What he wouldn’t give to see his own Cas looking at him like that someday. 

“Do you remember our wedding?” Cas asked, changing the subject in an endearingly awkward way. It was only then that he noticed the bands on their fingers: Dean’s broad and gold, Cas’ narrow and silver. Some would probably call them mismatched, but they were alike in their simplicity, their understated beauty. They looked perfect next to each other as Cas threaded his fingers through Dean’s and lifted their hands to his lips, kissing the golden ring. “It was quite the occasion.”

“I remember you blowing me at the reception,” Dean replied with a grin, his eyes trained on the rings as they brushed against each other. “Couldn’t get the fucking stain outta your tie. Had to pretend it was cake.”

“No one believed us.”

“Nope.” Dean chuckled under his breath. He was getting sleepy, if the slurring of his voice was anything to go by. The impending heat of destruction was likely pressing around them, making it difficult to breathe. He could feel his own chest staggering in response, as if he was there with them. He knew he shouldn’t be watching, should’ve pulled away as soon as he realised what was going on, but he couldn’t seem to move his hands. His fingers were wrapped around the dial with a vicelike grip, his jaw tightly clenched. He had to see this through, no matter how painful it proved to be. 

In the other dimension, Cas’ gaze had turned solemn, his throat squeezing up and down. As an angel, he didn’t need to breathe, but he still appeared to be struggling. Or maybe it was the tears gathering in his eyes, saturating the usual stormy hue to a bright, glittering blue. 

“That day, I promised to love and cherish you forever,” he said, the muscles in his face twitching with the effort of keeping the tears at bay. “I promised to protect you, stay by your side no matter what. I intend to keep as many of those promises as possible.” He bowed his head, pressing his forehead against Dean’s. They leaned into each other with an ease that defied every doubt and fear that Dean had ever felt, every whispered voice in the back of his mind telling him he could never have this, every obstacle he’d placed in his own path to prevent himself from taking a step too far and losing himself in a love that would undoubtedly leave his life cold and empty in its absence, when the day it abandoned him inevitably came... The way they fell into other seemed so easy, so natural, and Dean was struggling to remember why he hadn’t been doing this with his own Cas for the past twelve years. How fucking stupid, to let the fears he’d conjured up for himself as some kind of security blanket keep him from having this. How absolutely fucking ridiculous. 

“You getting sappy on me, Cas?”

Cas laughed, a tragic sound. “Would you prefer it if I stopped?”

“Nah. Keep going.” Dean buried his face in the crook of Cas’ neck, arms coming up to squeeze his waist, a single tear finally rolling down his cheek. “Tell me you love me.”

It was whispered, fractured with vulnerability, and Cas responded in a similar fashion, his voice a low murmur just for them. “I love you, Dean Winchester. My brave man. My insufferable idiot. My saviour. My best friend.”

Dean was shaking in his arms, his face pressed against his skin. His mouth was moving, either whispering words of his own, or simply kissing his neck, drinking in as much of this moment as possible before it all came crashing down around them. It wouldn’t be long now, seconds at most. Dean could feel fresh tears pooling in his eyes, his stomach rolling with anticipation as he watched the scene helplessly, caught between grief and longing. Would his Cas be there beside him when he met his own demise? Would he hold him in his arms and swear to love and protect him until the very end? No. It didn’t seem likely, not unless Dean gave him permission to do so, let him know that’s what he wanted. And when had he ever given Cas the impression that he wanted him in that way? Never. Because he was a coward. Because he hadn’t, up until this moment, realised how fucking pointless it was to keep holding himself back from something that would make him genuinely happy, if all these other dimensions were anything to go by, when the world was literally falling to its knees. 

“I love you,” Dean gasped, kissing Cas on the lips once more as a deafening rumble tore through the bunker, sending up clouds of dust and mortar as the walls of the dungeon began to crumble. “Just hold me. Please, Cas. Don’t leave me alone.”

“I’m here,” Cas said, shushing him softly. “I’m here, my love.”

He stayed like that, kissing his eyes and holding him close, long after Dean could no longer hear or feel him. He stayed by his side until the very end, just as he’d promised, until a silent explosion of white light engulfed the bunker, temporarily blinding Dean until the feed cut out and the geoscope was bathed in darkness, finally releasing him from its hold. 

Dean tumbled off his chair with a sob, stumbling backwards down the steps leading to the geoscope and straight into the arms of Cas, his Cas, who was watching him with wide eyes, his hands instinctively flying up to Dean’s arms to steady him. He was saying something, probably asking him what the hell he was freaking out about, but all Dean could hear was white noise. Cas had died. Cas had been swallowed by white fire. Cas was gone. But he was also here, now pressing the back of his hand against Dean’s forehead, checking him for a fever. His Cas was still alive, with his tanned skin and baggy eyes and wrinkled coat and stupid, lovely voice. He looked tired, as per usual, but his concern for Dean was taking centre stage. As per fucking usual. How had it taken him so long to figure this shit out?

“Dean, what –”

“Don’t you go dying on me,” he said, his voice a pitch too high as all the sounds came rushing back. “I ain’t fucking done with you yet. There’s too much I gotta say.”

Cas was shaking his head, completely bemused. “Dean, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve only just arrived. My leads on Amara all dried up.”

“I don’t care about that right now.”

“Dean –”

“Stop saying my name!”

Cas snapped his mouth shut, adorably at odds about what to do without the ability to say his favourite word, the word that only ever sounded perfect on his lips. “I... But...”

“Just look at me.” Dean lifted a shaking hand to the angel’s face, tracing the lines of worry etched into his skin. For a guy who didn’t require sleep, he looked like he was about to keel over from exhaustion. He was a fucking mess, that’s for sure. But Dean liked him. Wanted him. There was no point in denying it anymore. He didn’t want to carry all these repressed emotions to fucking oblivion. He wanted all the mushy promises and clashing wedding rings and dirty memories to laugh about when was old and grey and farting sawdust. He wanted a happy ending, goddamnit. 

“Dean,” Cas said, apparently unable to help himself.  

Dean smiled, met his eyes. “My love.”

Cas spluttered, his cheeks flushing, and Dean smothered his mouth with a biting grin, his own face flooded with warmth. It was nice to see those words had the same effect on Cas as they did on him. Nice, also, to feel Cas’ lips moving against his own, albeit slowly, as if he was still puzzling through, trying to figure things out. Dean couldn’t blame him for being confused, but he wasn’t in the mood for explaining things just yet. They’d wasted enough time as it was. He didn’t want to get stuck grieving for a version of him and Cas that no longer existed; there was only one Dean and Cas he had any chance of saving, and they were right here, kissing for the first time in a newly-polished bunker with tears sticking their cheeks together and the smell of freshly-cooked pancakes sweetening the air. 

When they finally pulled apart, Cas was gawking at him with pinkened cheeks and a bewildered smile. Dean opened his mouth to say something, to at least make a start at explaining things, when Jack suddenly came skidding into the library, his 1000-watt smile turning even brighter when he spotted Cas. 

“Cas! You’re back! I’ll tell Mrs. Butters to make some more pancakes.”

He bolted away as quickly as he’d appeared, apparently not noticing Dean and Cas’ close proximity, or otherwise not caring. Dean loved him for that. 

“Mrs. Butters...?” 

Dean looked back at Cas, his heart clenching when he realised the angel was still clutching at his jacket, lips just a hair’s breadth away from his own. They were even prettier after being kissed. “It’s a long story. How about I tell you over breakfast?”

Cas nodded, the corner of his mouth twitching with one of those precious half-smiles. “I’d like that.”