#i have another with someone to help me get back on track for a course
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james-is-nasqueer · 9 months ago
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my first legislative accomplishment as senator will be banning all appointments in every university. youre welcome
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cutearose · 2 years ago
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okay but how do you ask for help when your childhood makes you feel guilty for needing help and the help that you need feels rude to ask for
#im really struggling to function rn and i finally accepted that i wont make it to my appt without help#so i posted on my snap story asking if anyone could come over for a few hours to help me get back on track#n. two people replied saying they cant but hope i find someone but no one else has replied at all#i knew the answer would probably be no bc no one has time to come all the way here to help me to do tasks i should be able to do alone#but idk i thought i might get some comfort or encouragement or something. just some acknowledgement#i wish i had a group chat or something where i could reach out to people. bc things like snap stories people are just flicking past#i NEED to change the kitty litter today i have no choice its unusable and needs changing but i just. how. i am so tired#i have a ridiculous amount of glasses n crockery specifically for when i struggle like this n yet im still almost completely out of them#bc i just. cant do the dishes. i dont even have to wash them they just need to go in the dishwasher n i Cant#my brain just completely shut down once i got back from the trip#especially bc i got a cold n i dont cope well being sick at all#but of course thats another reason i feel bad asking for help. bc my house is full of germs. n i dont want people to get sick bc of me#but i am running out of food and clean dishes and bench space and i just. cant do it alone rn#but i used up my asking capabilities posting on snap#posting on insta would prob get more people to see it but insta feels. much more public#i dont use my insta stories like ever so it feels like a Lot to post on it for this#n when i asked for support after my parents divorce i only got a couple responses anyway#n this is. not worth support. like its a problem of my own making? i went on the trip knowing it would be a Lot for me#i wasnt planning on getting sick And getting an infection which are both exhausting me a lot but thats not the point#idk im just beating myself up over here. idk how to ask for help esp bc i expect the answer to be no anyway#like who is gonna travel an hour+ to help their friend clean their kitchen and fill out paperwork. im 28 i should be able to do that stuff#these tags are getting very maudlin and mean to myself. sigh. i wish i didnt feel so guilty when i need help#i wish i felt like i was allowed to ask for and accept help#love that childhood and autistic trauma haha lmao#anyway. brains are annoying. and im struggling a lot.
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impactrueno · 4 days ago
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Beetlejuice clearly wasn't interested in Lydia when they met, so when do you think he actually fell for her? Was he so impressed by Lydia defeating him that he developed a little crush?
i think this might be the biggest thing i've been turning around in my head since the sequel dropped. how did bro get to this point. i need to know. you weren't like this where we left off, what happened during that huge time gap????
this is where canon ends and conjecture begins, you just have to theorize and fill in the gaps yourself with whatever makes the most sense to you, which is what i've been trying to do this whole time. so please bear with me here.
i don't know how much i want share or save for my comics because i don't know how much he would actually reveal about this but whatever we ball
edit: ok so i scrolled back up to this after finishing writing this and as it turns out i have no self control and i ended up sharing everything that crossed my mind. craziest stream of consciousness i've ever written down. strap on and keep your limbs inside the ride at all times. whatever. we BALL.
let's review their first encounter from his point of view:
you're hired to scare the deetzes, right? so you do just that. excellently you might add. just when you're about to terrorize their teenage daughter, barbara banishes you and the party is over. what fucking losers right? you get the sense that adam and barbara care about this girl so you make some remark about her and it pisses them off. haha. also whoa where did this place come from? damn adam, who could've guessed he had it in him. you forget about everything else and dance your way to dante's inferno room.
after spending a respectably tasteful evening with those ladies, you're chill now. relaxing under your little sun lamp to work on your tan.
someone walks in looking for adam and barbara. don't they know they're dead?
"are you a ghost too?"
"i'm the ghost with the most, babe."
hold on a sec, who's even—
...well hey. it's the girl.
the girl who can see ghosts, and she's talking to you.
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target acquired. this one's your ticket out of this hellhole.
"you look like somebody i can relate to," you tell her. relate how? doesn't matter. you're ensnaring her with your affable demeanor like you always do, make people feel like you're pals with them first and foremost. she seems like a nice girl, so this should be easy. you tell her upfront that you want to get out of there and you need her help to do so.
"i want to get in," she says.
whoa there.
what? she wants to get in? she says that in response to you saying that you wanted out. she really has no idea what it's like on the other side, huh. but shit, that kinda stops you in your tracks a bit. this girl wants to die. this young? that's not right. makes no sense.
"...why?"
she just looks at you and says nothing. jesus. ok maybe it's none of your business so let's back it up. you're losing control of the conversation and you're on a mission here. you figure if she helps you get out, you might as well talk her off that ledge or show her how shitty it is on the other side or somethin'. frankly, you can't afford to care right now. you're not entirely sure why she thinks things would be better on the side you're so desperate to get out of, but alright. doesn't matter, right now you gotta get her to summon you. so you begin your little game of charades.
after she correctly guesses your name and almost says it a third time, she recognizes you as the snake that terrorized her family. god fucking dammit. you're losing her. you're getting impatient. your affable act is over. "nah...i want to talk to barbara," she says and now she's REALLY getting on your nerves because fuck barbara, fuck adam, you're SO CLOSE to getting out and you're not gonna let this go now, go go GO GO SAY IIIIIIITTTTTTT
adam and barbara walk in because of course they do. womp womp
ok well that didn't work, but you're not gonna give up so easily. sooner or later another opportunity will come and soon you will be free.
wait why are they moving the model— where are they taking it—
ooohhhhh. business meeting. get a load of these yuppies, trying to turn winter river into a town-sized Ripley's Believe it or Not. a talking marcel marceau statue? and you thought you were a con man. no wonder the deetz girl wants to die, it's bleak as hell here too. but if you get out...you can fix that. hell, you can fix anything.
these bozos are here to see some ghosts, but the girl says they're not going to show up unless the fleshbags stop making a mockery out of the whole thing and that maybe they can all live happy together in the house. ain't that sweet.
of course no one's taking her seriously. she's a kid, what does she know, right? they'd rather listen to the most obnoxious guy in the room (besides yourself) who has no idea what the fuck he's talking about, but somehow, he's got his hands on the handbook.
the girl panics, then immediately says completely deadpan "wait, what am i even worried about, otho, you can't even change a tire" and you're surprised they didn't hear how hard you cackled at that.
despite all that, they seem to have started a séance with their old wedding clothes. bad news for the maitlands. they're about to be dead-dead. the girl cries for them to stop, and these guys are just sitting there scared shitless. you're hearing everything. you knew a new opportunity would arise, so you wait, because this is the part where people remember how good at your job you are. they always do.
she knows you can help. you're the only one who can help. so here she comes. those wedding clothes give you an idea. plan B is now in motion.
well well well.
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look who came crawling back.
she asks for your help, and you're happy to oblige, under one condition of course. after all, you don't do anything for free, and she's the only one who can help you with your problem. how serendipitous.
once again, you lay it on her, straight up. you want out. and a way to do it (thanks adam and barbara for the reminder) is through marriage with a fleshbag. you need to get married. a green card marriage, if you will.
she's immediately disgusted by the idea. you don't take that personally, of course, because it doesn't matter. she's just a kid and it's not a real marriage. she just happens to be unlucky enough to be the only one around who can assist you with this, the poor girl. it's a marriage of convenience—or rather, inconvenience—and you're not planning on sticking around because you will get the hell out of there as soon as you can. so there shouldn't be a problem, right? besides, does she know how many women would kill to be in that position? she gets to brag about it to her friends, what's not to like? it's a totally even deal.
the clock is ticking and the maitlands aren't getting any younger. she agrees to the deal. you win, at last.
she already knows what to do, so you sit there patiently with a shit-eating grin on your face, awaiting the three little B words. gloating.
Beetlejuice........Beetlejuice...........Beetlejuice.
it's showtime.
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this is your favorite part. you love a dramatic entrance. you decide to show the deetzes and their greedy friends the circus they so wanted to turn this town into. horrible as you are, you're also pretty damn good at calling out other people's horribleness, and you do love an ironic karmic way of dealing with someone. for example tubby here thinks he can escape, but not before you change his sleek black suit into a tacky white leisure suit. the horror! this is why you're a professional at this.
you effortlessly end the exorcism and the maitlands are saved. a little pruney right now but they'll be fine. everything is taken care of, you have fulfilled your end of the deal like you promised. only one thing left to do.
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"shall we?"
there's really no need to make a whole show out of this, but you're a showman first and foremost and as a 𝒥𝓊𝒾𝓁𝓁𝒾𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝒶𝓁𝓊𝓂 you'll be damned if you're not gonna let yourself have a little fun with this. everyone looks terrified. this is why you're a professional at this.
witnesses and reverend in place, you can finally begin the ceremony. you're having fun, yes, but let's try to pick up the pace a bit, okay? the closer you get to your goal, the more impatient you get. the girl isn't finding any of this very funny at all and she protests. the maitlands butt in and are now kind of twisting your arm a bit, but you deal with them harmlessly, until they get on your last nerve so you send adam to the model and barbara to saturn. all of this after you honorably fulfilled your end of the bargain and saved the day. jesus christ, are you the only one with some integrity around here or what.
you forget the stupid ring. shit. you're pretty sure you have it on you somewhere, ever since you chopped up delores into pieces for poisoning you. you kept her ring finger as a trophy and as a reminder to never get married again, and yet here you are, but desperate times call for desperate measures. finally, you find the ring (still on her severed finger) and hastily tell your new bride-to-be that delores meant nothing to you. in case she even cares. she doesn't seem to. not even a chuckle? oh well.
almost done with the ceremony. almost there. you're holding the girl's hand with an iron grip to keep her in place as you're about to put that ring on her finger. "i now pronounce you, man and—"
a tiny car crashes against your foot and it catches on fire. you scream. a fucking sandworm crashes into the room through the ceiling. everyone screams. you scream LOUDER.
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you're sent back to the afterlife waiting room.
not your first rodeo with a sandworm, but that doesn't make the experience any less shitty. the real annoying part is being in the waiting room again. this could take ages. you're number 9,998,383,750,000 and they're serving number 3 right now. you trick the guy next to you and steal his ticket (number 4) but he's not too pleased about that, so that didn't work.
a long time sitting here it is, then.
movie ends, credits roll.
for reference, that was 1988. winona ryder was 15 when they were filming in 1987 so while lydia doesn't have a confirmed age, i think we can safely assume that she was the same age as winona at the time.
36 years later, it's 2024. or 34 years later, it's 2022. we don't know the exact year because while bob's in memoriam credits scene says 2024 and all the interviews talk about how 36 years have passed in universe as well, there's this other one tiny detail.
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jeremy's death passport says he died on march 11, 1999. jane butterfield says he died "23 years ago," putting the movie in 2022. they did film it in 2022 so the math is mathing correctly there. given that the in memoriam scene was more of a joke and jeremy's passport is a canon prop in the movie, i'd say 2022 is the canon year the movie is set in. (small sidenote; the passport also has the roman numerals DCLXVI which is 666. cute detail i loved it)
in the sequel, beetlejuice says lydia has been ignoring him for 30 years. i always thought that was curious because outside of this claim, they always specify how many years exactly have passed since. he doesn't say 34 or 36, he says 30. and for his degree of obsession (and the fact that he remembers exactly how many times he's watched The Exorcist) i think he would be counting even the days so i think he did really mean 30 years. so this would mean at least 4 years passed between getting sent back to the waiting room and the beginning of his stalking.
AND NOW that we established all that, we are finally getting to the answer to the question, "when and how did this all start?"
so okay, he spent a while in the waiting room. a lot of time to think. probably replaying the events at the deetzes' in his head over and over, how he got here, where he fucked up, what's he gonna do once he gets out. cursing the maitlands for ruining his plan when he was soooo fucking close. wondering what ever happened to lydia deetz.
lydia deetz, the young girl who told him she wanted to die.
...
is she alright?
i don't think he's capable of feeling guilt, but we can probably argue that he's not entirely heartless. what she said about how she wanted to "get in" must've stuck with him from the way he reacted when she dropped that bomb. she never showed up in the waiting room so he knows she didn't follow through with that. still, he used a vulnerable young girl for his own selfish gain. ironically enough, he knows exactly how that feels, because he also got tricked into marriage and got used for someone else's gain. the difference being that he dealt with that shit with an axe.
much much much to think about for mr. juice.
after years of ruminating in that waiting room, he's finally out and back to the regular day to day afterlife. definitely gets chewed out by juno, maybe forced to do community service or labor or what have you, he basically just needs to clean up his act now. this freelancing shit is becoming more trouble than it's worth anyway.
he's still wondering about lydia deetz. should he check in on her? maybe he should, he's too curious now.
at this point, lydia is now about 19-21 and in college. maybe he manages to sneak into the model one time she's back home for the holidays or something. and oh my god would you look at that, what a beautiful young woman she's grown into. she's radiant. she's happy. she's no longer that gloomy suicidal kid he met in the attic. seems like what she said about the deetzes and the maitlands sharing the house did come true after all.
that's nice. very sweet. good to know.
maybe he wonders if she remembers him and tries to get her attention somehow, give her a little scare for old times sake or whatever. for a brief moment it seems like she saw something and her expression changes, but she shrugs it off and continues on chatting with her two sets of parents. no such luck.
oh well. curiosity sated! and beetlejuice goes back home and doesn't return.
until the next time he returns.
and he keeps coming back to check in on her, telling himself he's just making sure that she hasn't killed herself or something. and he's not above admitting that with every year that passes, she keeps getting more beautiful. and to think they almost got married, huh.
he constantly tries to get her to notice him somehow, and sometimes she almost does, but ultimately he never really succeeds beyond making her do a double take. very rarely she does catch a glimpse of him. he's seen her mutter to herself that she's just seeing things and she seems a bit frightened every time this happens, but there's nothing to fear, honey, it's just good ol' beetlejuice. he won't lie, he gets a bit of a rush every time and it makes his dead heart beat faintly. he's gotten this far, he can't just stop now. in his mind, this has become their little private game of cat and mouse, where the mouse ignores the cat. but aren't they cute? he thinks they're cute. this is not creepy at all!
before he realizes, he's already learned everything about her. he knows about richard and even watched their wedding from afar like a loser. he knows she gave birth to a healthy baby girl named astrid. he knows they have a blast on halloween. halloween is lydia's favorite holiday, and his too. sometimes he can't help but see the three of them happy together and think it could've totally been him. even if he and richard are nothing alike (in fact could not be more opposite) and the circumstances of their unholy wedding were nothing short of grim and a farce. but in his mind, he's starting to convince himself otherwise.
maybe it's his jealousy speaking, but lydia doesn't seem to be that happy with richard despite everything. even though richard is like, the perfect guy. then one day his suspicions are proven correct: neither of them knows why it happened, but after having a long and emotional talk (that he watched with a bucket of popcorn) they decide to get a divorce. he pumps his fist, feeling victorious for some reason. sure he's a little sadistic at times, but why is this giving him so much glee?
the divorce is hard on lydia's kid, who was always more attached to her father, but they still spend a lot of time together. sometimes the three of them, since richard and lydia kept things amicable after the divorce. lydia tries to move on and see other people, but each relationship fails before it even starts. mostly because she keeps holding back and so fails to connect with anyone else, but also sometimes because, well, he can't help himself but to scare them away from her from time to time. it's fun. in his mind, he's just being protective of her, as a gentleman should for a lady.
then richard dies. fell into a piranha infested river from the looks of it (he saw him at immigration one day, don't ask what he was doing around there, force of habit after constantly making sure lydia hasn't killed herself yet.) it's devastating for both lydia and astrid, straining their relationship even more for the next few years as they both try to cope with the loss. the shock proves to be too much for lydia, so she goes to a survivors retreat to work through her trauma, both from richard's death and "unresolved feelings."
then lydia, at her most vulnerable, meets rory.
beetlejuice was able to clock him immediately. a textbook manipulative opportunist, he himself knows the tactics very well. swoop in to "help" someone in a vulnerable position, pull the wool over their eyes and begin taking control so you can get what you want out of that person.
he wouldn't admit it, but this really irks beetlejuice. you know when you see someone who reminds you of the worst parts of yourself, so you despise them? yeah. he's been there, and he's also been him.
but rory is somehow even worse than beetlejuice. see, rory is her manager, and boy does he manage to get on his nerves. he takes her phone. he controls what medication she takes. he blames and guilt trips her about every mishap that HE causes, making himself look like her benevolent savior and making her feel like she would be lost without him, confusing her with his psychobabble. on top of all that, he's forcing her to do this hacky show called Ghost House where she "hunts ghosts" or whatever. the houses he's been helping newly-deads with in his day job as a bio-exorcist (now with a fleet of employees,) she's "hunting" those ghosts now. it's so dumb. it never works. beetlejuice doesn't even know what the hell she's doing, she's phoning it in most of the time and she knows she's become a sellout. what happened to that "strange and unusual" girl who stood up for her ghost friends when those suits wanted to profit off of them back in winter river?
he needs to bring that back. he's the only one who can.
in his mind, beetlejuice has already rewritten the events that transpired. in his mind, lydia has been his wife this entire time, it's just, y'know, one of those open long distance relationships and she doesn't always remember him, but that's okay. in his mind, they share a psychic bond that allows her to sense his presence or see him in her dreams from time to time. he's got nothing to be jealous about, because other men can't compare. no one else can match what they have.
sure, part of him knows he's lying to himself a little bit. but he's already clung to this idea; these past 30 years wouldn't make sense otherwise. he's in love with lydia deetz. this isn't insane of him to say at all. and if it is, well, you know what they say, love makes you do batshit crazy things.
it's not that complicated, no matter what they say you'll never meet another me it's not that difficult to get my head around i'll never meet another you
the end
don't trick me into writing a fanfic again
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thevoidstaredback · 7 months ago
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Saturday's at Wayne Manor are family days. The whole weekend is reserved for the family to come and go as they please, but the biggest events are the Game Days on Saturday from 11:00 to 16:00 and Sunday Dinner at 18:00.
Every Saturday is a Game Day, but the third Saturday of each month is Competition Day. The kids all choose their favorite games, and everyone competes against each other. It's very rarely missed by anyone, but there have been times when someone has had to tap out for one reason or another. Alfred keeps track of who's missed how many days. Barbra keeps the tally of who's won what and how many times. At the end of the year, on December 31st, the scores are announced.
Sunday Dinners are sacred. No one ever misses a Sunday Dinner. The last person who did Jason is still getting subtle jabs and looks from everyone and that was a year ago and he had a very good reason, thank you very much! Everyone is always present for Sunday Dinner because everyone still has a room and the option to stay the night between the two days. Most usually take up the offer, but there have been extenuating circumstances that have pulled someone from the Manor.
No matter any of that because everyone is here and everyone is staying the night. That means everyone is patrolling Gotham tonight. Almost everyone. Batwoman has offered to take over Bludhaven for the night, so that's where she's gone.
Bruce plans to present his idea of messing with his coworkers when everyone gets back to the cave after patrol. All his kids know who they all are, having been trained by him, so there's no risk or accidental reveals on his part. In actuality, the kids thought of it like a game. They even had a folder for it on the Bat Computer and everything!
Yes, that night, after everyone returned to the Bat Cave, he would gather his Chaos Gremlins and invite them to mess with the Justice League with him. He'd also try and get Alfred in on it. Family bonding, and all that.
Though, making his kids sweat was its own form of amusement for him. It was 3:00 when everyone finally returned. They all ran their own routes, watched over by Oracle, and their own times, but everyone was always done no later than 3:00. It was a rule that the Gotham Rouges had yet to pick up on because Batman went back out until dawn more often than not.
Anyway, Bruce has been the first to get back and had put on an act of being upset. He usually kept his Batman persona with his suit, so he was rarely ever this stoic while he was Bruce Wayne. He hid his smirk as he sat at the head of the meeting table in the Cave, waiting for his children to change and sit with him. Duke normally was asleep by now, but he'd asked the boy to be there, letting him in on the harmless prank while they waited for his siblings and Stephanie to arrive.
Once everyone was seated, he waited a total of thirty seconds, meeting eyes with every one of his children, before he spoke. "I'm very disappointed."
Dick's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He'd known Bruce the longest - aside from Alfred - and had likely picked up on something the second he saw Bruce and Duke at the table. "At who?"
"The Justice League," It was amusing to watch the tension melt off of all of them when he shook his head, "We all know who all of them are, as well as everyone who trained under them, but they don't know who we are."
"Except Wonder Woman," Jason pointed out, "She figured me out when I came back."
Fair, Bruce supposed. Jason was always Diana's favorite. "I think they need some help," he said, "A push in the right direction, so to speak."
Stephanie had a smile on her face that promised mischief. "We're not telling them, right? 'Cause that'd be no fun."
"Course not!" Duke yawned, "B said we'd give them a hint."
"What did you have in mind, father?" Damian asked, stoic as always, but matching the gleam in Cass's eyes.
"We invite them to the Bat Cave," he said, "Show them around a bit. The only exits we tell them about, though, should be the Lane," How the ground vehicles get in and out. "-the Zeta Tubes," Obviously. "-and the elevator. But, we don't tell them what's upstairs."
Alfred seemed very amused from where he had taken his seat at the other end of the table.
"From there," Bruce continued, "We invite their civilian identities to the next Gala. Meet them. Hint about the Cave without actually saying anything. If I know Clark as well as I know I do, then he'll, at the very least, piece together that the Bat Cave is under Wayne Manor."
"And if we play it right?" Dick's grin was manic, "They won't connect who we are."
"Won't that be suspicious, though?" Tim spoke up for the first time, "They may not have put things together yet, but they aren't stupid. They're heroes. If we give them the pieces, they're gonna piece them together."
Damian was the one to answer him. "Batman and Bruce Wayne hate one another, though there is a grudging acknowledgement and respect."
"Give them the right pieces, with a few from the wrong puzzle, in the wrong order, we could totally have them fooled!" Jason explained.
The group shared looks between each other. Nothing needed to be said because the looks and movements said everything.
Alfred smiled and shook his head fondly. "You may plan this in the morning. For now, go to bed and get some sleep."
Part 1 Part 3
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vhaos-chaotic-writing · 1 month ago
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D-16 Megatron (TFO) x Cybertronian!Reader Pt. 2
Someone asked if there was going to be a part 2 of this and the answer is hell yeah. ヽ(✿゚▽゚)ノ Gender Neutral Cybertronian Reader!
Also, importante message in general - please do not spam my askbox. I've already recieved, in a row 5 asks/requests from a same user. It is kind of annoying, feels like you are pressuring me to do more than I already do and that doesn't sit me well. So, user who is doing this, do not keep doing it or I'll block you. Thanks.
WARNING: Spoilers from the movie (Transformers One 2024). Angst and more angst. Forbidden love scenario.
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Days have been... good. To say at least.
Being guided by Optimus Prime, Elita One and Bumblebee's to fight against the Quintessons. Meanwhile, Iacon and Cybertrone was slowly picking up its true, beautiful colors and life seemed brighter for everyone after finally getting their T-cogs and feel complete.
... then, why do you feel.. empty?
It was stupid - you have now your T-cog, of course! And yet...
You try to not think about it too much - you decide to keep yourself focused on your tasks, helping others, and so on. But whenever the night arrives and you are alone in your berth...
"Primus, please... if you are out there - keep D-16 safe and sound. Please." You pray, holding your servos against your chestplate.
With the pass of the days you started to accept the fact that D-16 was no longer there, but it was Megatron who had now his face.
Things were getting better, but also tense at the same time, as from time to time, if they haven't done it on that day Megatron was vanished from Iacon, bots who started to think like him left Iacon by choice to look after the leader they wanted.
You remained on the Autobot's side - your spark longed for the mech you used to love, but you knew he was no longer the sweet, kind D-16 you used to know.
But - you wanted to see him. You needed to see him. Even if it was dangerous or that you might not live another day to tell - you needed to see him.
And little did you know how much Megatron silently suffered to himself as he couldn't forget you. And he, too, wished to see you again. His spark would cry too, wishing to see once again the same cybertronian that he fell in love years ago.
Alas - if something happens then it meant it was what Primus wanted to happen...
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You were tasked to go out with a group of autobots to swap places with another group who stayed on the surface in other to keep track on any kind of Quintesson activity... or Decepticon, too.
"Arcee, in position" - "Prowl in position, too!" - "Me too - I mean, Blurr too!"
"(Y/N) in position as well." You add, followed by another one of your teammates through the audio connection. 1 solar cycle to be out there and keep an optic on everything until the next team arrives to swap places with yours. Thankfuly, for the past days, any type of Quintesson activity was nearly none - Primus bless Optimus, Elita and Bumblebee - but all of you wanted to be sure, just in case.
You were relatively far away from your team, moving between tall mountain alike structures, your right servo transformed in your (weapon of choice).
The sound of a heavey step made you quickly turn around, aiming your weapon with a serious expression - to quickly change into one of surprise.
Megatron stares at you and slowly start walking towards you. And you remain frozen in place, slowly lowering your weapon - until the sound of the audial connection being activated. Megatron freezes in place.
"Arcee to (Y/N) - I lost for a moment your location, everything okay?"
Megatron keeps his optics locked with yours, thinking you were going to give out his presence... You press the small audial device on your helm to answer. "(Y/N) to Arcee - affirmative. The structures are doing that glitch - but all fine."
After turning off the audial connection, Megatron runs to you as you open wide your arms, your weapon transforming back into your arm. And the big mech hugs you close, as you hug him back. In silence, you hold each other, his faceplate hidding against your helm as you do as well against his chestplate.
"... I missed you." You whisper, scolding at yourself for saying that - feeling weak. But how could you not say those words when you have been longing for him?
"I've missed you, too." Megatron confesses, moving to gently press his forehelm against yours, closing his red optics as you close your own. "I thought I was never going to see you again."
"... Why did you do it?" You ask, spark hurting.
Megatron looks at you with softened optics, knowing what were you talking about - killing Sentinel Prime in a brutal way when he was already defeated, wanting to destroy Iacon, making a promise to become the sole true leader that was going to guide everyone and whoever stood on his way was going to be offlined. "I did it for our people, for us - Optimus was not going to make Sentinel suffer the consequences he deserved after all the torture he made us go through, (Y/N)..."
You should be angry - Primus, you should be yelling at him and fighting for his violent ways, for not understanding what he was doing was the same thing Sentinel was doing. Alas, all you do is let your optics fill with energon and cry softly as Megatron holds you close.
"I wanted to know you more! I - I wanted to be your friend! Fall in love with you - become your Conjux!" You confess, crying that life you wished for the moment you two met. "I wanted to become yours and you become mine!"
The Decepticon leader tries to not to cry, forcing himself to remain strong. Megatron blamed himself because... how could he give you those things you were wishing between the two of you now that he was the enemy? And he knew he couldn't ask you to follow him, to join the Decepticons - even when he wanted to take you with him, he wasn't going to take away your freedom, not after having that being taken away by the false Prime since everyone's birth.
"I love you." Megatron suddenly confesses, holding your helm with his servos, your optics once again finding each others. "The moment I saw you in that busy day - I knew you were the one who I wanted to bond with, become his Conjux and have our sparks meet the other. I love you, (Y/N) - and... I'm so sorry for having ruin our future."
Your spark fluttered and felt warm, whole. Complete.
Holding his helm back, you kissed him. And he kissed you back.
And that same night you two became the Conjux Endura of the other. And while it hurt you to leave him, and for him to leave you to go back to your respective places - your spark still felt complete.
Whenever you are alone, you place a servo on your chestplate, where your spark rests, and feel. I love you.
And, in silence, you feel his I love you, back.
In silence, you await for the day you get to be back in Megatron's arms. And hope, and pray to Primus, for the war to end and be by his side, one way or another.
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I'm not sobbing you are sobbing. /(ㄒoㄒ)/~~ Vhaos out!
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vbecker10 · 3 months ago
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Hey love, how are you doing? Hope you’re all good. Could you write a Bucky x fem!reader who has an eating disorder, but she hides it from the team and she does it successfully, but on one mission she passes out, which is weird because she’s one of the best. She says it was just because she didn’t feel well and everyone believes her, but not Bucky. He senses that something’s off and eventually finds out, because he leaves reader no choice but to tell him, and so she does.
I’m struggling with my ed and I would love it, but if you don’t want to write this, it’s totally fine! I am a huge fan of your work💚
I Want You to be Healthy
Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Y/N) - established relationship / reader has an eating disorder
Summary: You pass out on the way to the jet after a successful mission. The team quickly accepts the excuse that you don't feel well but Bucky knows you well enough to know that you're lying. As soon as you are alone together, Bucky pushes you to open up to him about what truly made you pass out.
Warnings: Eating disorder, passing out, denying you have an eating disorder, feeling insecure about your weight & body image, keeping secrets from your friends and boyfriend, relapsing eating disorder
Background: Female reader has an Eating Disorder (a combination of anorexia and bulimia). Reader has the following behaviors: Skipping meals, frequent checking in the mirror for precieved flaws, constantly using a scale and tracking their weight, eating alone and at odd times of the day / night, exercising more frequently and more intensely than needed, not taking rest days or days off for injury, using the restroom soon after eating, making their own meals rather than eating what the team eats, often complains about needing to be healthy and talks about having to lose weight or gain muscle, thinking they are in control of their eating habits
A/N: Hi my lovely anon, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling with your ED, I hope you can focus on yourself and get the help you need. I'm here if you want someone to listen 💚 Thank you for trusting me with this, I tried not to focus too much on the specific type of eating disorder since there are a few but I found some similarities between them when I was doing my research. I used those symptoms for this to make it a bit general. I hope this is okay 💚
I didn't tag too many people in this because I wasn't sure who exactly to tag, I won't be offend if you skip this 💚
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Steve walks at the front of the group, one hand firmly gripped around the arm of a captured Hydra officer, her hands cuffed tightly behind her back. The mission was simple enough and more of you had gone than was needed but you couldn't pass up the opportunity to be out in the field. It was the only place you felt you belonged, where you could show the others on the team you were good enough to be here.
When Bucky had knocked on your door earlier this afternoon and asked if you were free to join them, you agreed eagerly. It was a welcome distraction from what you had been doing for the last hour, standing in front of your full length mirror, scrutinizing every inch of your body. The flaws in your physique are so glaringly obvious to you, you couldn't help but fixate on where you need to lose fat or gain muscle.
Bucky had smirked when you answered your door to him in nothing but a towel, he assumed you were having a lazy day after a relaxing shower. You hugged him tightly and told him you would get ready for the mission. There was no point in telling him what you had really been doing. A super soldier could never understand your daily struggle with your weight or the constant drive to be perfect. None of the Avengers could.
Natasha and Clint follow the captain closely, another captive officer walks with his head down between them as they discuss dinner. They quickly decide that since its Friday, they should get take out when they get back. There was no reason to make an excuse of course, take out was the easy option. Most of the team was either too busy to cook or had simply never been taught how to.
This meant you had to be even more careful because the food that was ordered was never healthy. Soon after you joined, you learned that it was easier to prepare all of your own food and eat in your room. Eating away from the team also meant they couldn't ask why your portions were what they considered small or why you were eating much later than them. It was none of their business anyways, you had told yourself often. As much as you would have liked their company, it was better this way. You could focus on your weight and health instead of answering all of their questions or dealing with their concerned opinions.
Bucky chuckles as he slips his arm around your waist, unaware of your thoughts. "I'm voting for spaghetti and meatballs, not that anyone asked me," he joins his friends conversation but you are barely listening.
Natasha checks to make sure Clint has a firm hold of the captive then she effortlessly turns, walking backwards smoothly through the thick leaves. "What do you want for dinner, Y/N?" she asks you with a smile, pointedly ignoring Bucky's comment which gets a laugh from Clint.
You don't answer, too distracted by the pain that is spreading deep in your stomach, the one that means you've almost reached your limit between meals. When you get back, you'll need to find something to eat, even if that means more time in the gym.
"Earth to Y/N," the spy waves at you to get your attention. When you make eye contact with her, she again asks what you want for dinner.
You shrug in response, the pain in your stomach growing as you walk. You know the type of answer she is looking for. Pizza, Thai, sushi. You could easily suggest any one of a hundred things but you can't. If you did, you would be expected to join them and that isn't something you are willing to do.
"Don't bother," Clint says when you are silent for a few more steps. His tone is relaxed but you worry he can tell what you are thinking. "You know Y/N never eats anything we order. We don't get anything healthy enough for her," he reminds Natasha. "Too much grease and fat and deliciousness."
"It's not my fault I'm the only one at the Tower worried about my figure," you roll your eyes at him.
Bucky laughs, his hand squeezes your waist, a part of your body you've always been self conscious about. "Your figure is perfect, doll," he smiles and you wish you could believe him but it's not that easy.
Natasha turns back to Clint, not missing a step and pats his stomach once. "Maybe you could learn something from her," she jokes.
"Hey!" he calls after her, sounding like an annoyed sibling. She laughs, jogging lightly towards Steve to hold the female officer while he opens the hatch.
Your ears begin to ring and the trees in the forest around you blend together, becoming hazy. Bucky kisses the top of your head and asks you a question but you can barely make out what he is saying. His voice is just above the ringing that vibrates in your mind. He looks down at you, his expression quickly turning to concern as he says your name but you don't respond.
You're light-headed and suddenly feel cold as your vision blurs more of your surroundings together. You take one more small step and stop, unable to continue forward. Bucky's hold on you tightens but you can't make out his words. You recognize what's happening to your body but only a second before you lose consciousness.
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"Y/N," you hear Bucky say your name softly as he runs his metal fingers through your hair gently. Opening your eyes with a quiet groan, the jet gradually comes into focus but everything is sideways. You turn your head to look up at Bucky and realize your resting on his lap. "Slowly doll," he says, helping you sit up in the seat next to him.
"You okay?" Clint asks from the seat across from you.
You nod, still a bit dizzy, "Yeah."
"You had us all worried," Bucky says, his eyes not leaving you.
You shrug, hoping a few simple lies will calm everyone including yourself. It's been almost three years since you passed out from not eating. The last time it happened, your eating disorder had spiraled out of control for the second time and your family urged you to get treatment. It couldn't be happening again though, you think desperately. You are in control of your eating habits this time, you had just accidentally gone too long without eating.
"I felt kinda sick this morning. I know I probably should have stayed home but this sounded like a really quick mission," you offer an explanation that sounds likely.
"Next time you tell us if you don't feel well enough to go out," Steve says sternly from the pilot seat of the jet.
"Will do cap," you plaster on a smile to hide the wince from the dull ache in your stomach and salute him. This earns you a huff and a dramatic eye roll from the blonde super soldier.
"Good, can't let anything happen to the second best spy on the team," Natasha says with a smirk as she opens some files on her tablet.
You force out a small laugh, "Second best?" Then you look at Bucky who still hasn't taken his eyes off of you. He doesn't seem to have accepted your excuse as readily as everyone else but he also knows you better than anyone. "Are you going to let her talk about your girl like that?" Hoping the joke with Nat will distract him from his concern for you.
Bucky responds with a smile almost as fake as yours and says, "Of course not doll."
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"Hey," Tony says when he spots you coming towards him in the hall. "How are you feeling? I heard to passed out in the field today."
"I'm okay, just a bit dehydrated," you tell him, holding up your bottle of water as proof.
"Okay, just try to be more careful next time," he tells you and you agree to as you continuing towards your room. "You're not gonna eat with us? Nat ordered from this new Mexican place."
"I'm still feeling a little off," you touch your forehead lightly and he nods. It's an easy excuse and it slips out before you even realize you've said it. You take a few more steps down the hall then add, "I'll see you all in the morning for training, though."
"Only if you're feeling up to it," he says and you give him an enthusiastic thumbs up. He smiles, shaking his head when you turn away from him again. "You're allowed a rest day you know," he calls after you. You continue towards your room without responding, you know that's not true.
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A soft knock on your door interrupts your reading and you get up to see who it is. "Hi Bucky," you greet your boyfriend warmly but he doesn't offer you a hug or even a smile in return.
"Can we talk?" he asks in a serious tone and you nod, letting him in as your heart races. Those three words send panic through your body in an instant. You freeze as he takes a seat on the edge of your bed, rubbing his hands together anxiously. "Come sit, doll," he taps the bed next to him lightly without looking at you, his eyes still fixed on his hands.
You walk over and sit next to him silently. What do you two need to talk about that is making him this uneasy, you think. The only answer that surfaces is that he's come to end your eight month relationship, but why? Did you do something wrong, had you forgotten something, your mind races in search of an answer.
He takes your hand in his metal one gently and takes a breath to steady himself which only makes you more nervous. "Y/N," he starts slowly, "I love you so much, you know that right?" He lifts his head to look at you and you nod, too anxious to speak.
"I'm going to ask you this once," he says, "And please, don't lie to me." You bite your bottom lip, searching his face for any hint of his question. "Why did you really pass out on the mission today?" he asks.
You feel the smallest hint of relief that this isn't about your relationship but then you are instantly filled with a different type of fear. Has Bucky figured out what you've been hiding from him, from everyone? Does he know about your eating disorder returning and your worry that you're losing control? Your mind fills with all of your most easily accepted excuses, hoping that you can convince him you are okay.
Before you can open your mouth, he shakes his head. "I need the truth doll," almost as if he can see the lies forming.
"I-" your words stick in your throat and you look away from Bucky, your eyes roaming around your small room. You focus on the high tech scale positioned in front of the tall, full length mirror you spend so much of your time in front of.
He cups your cheek, bringing your eyes back to his, "Talk to me. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong, Y/N."
"I'm fine, I promise," you tell him in the most sincere voice you can, kissing his cheek softly. "I told you, I was just feeling a little under the weather today. It's not a big deal."
"You didn't eat again today," he states, no hint of a question in his tone. You're in too much shock to begin defending your reasoning for skipping a meals when he adds, "You've been missing meals a lot lately, haven't you?"
You nod, suddenly feeling caught which makes you feel both guilty and embarrassed. Bucky is the one person on the team you have always been able to confide in, even before you started dating but this was something you wanted to keep even from him. It was the reason you forced yourself to eat when you went on dates with him but you always found a way to excuse yourself and use the bathroom soon after. Had he noticed that too, you worry.
"How long do you think you can go without eating?" he asks but you don't want to admit you know the answer. Since college, you've developed a pretty good sense for how long you can go between meals, today truly had been a miscalculation. Instead you simply shrug as you guage whether or not you can convince Bucky you missed those meals by accident.
"Y/N," he says when you are quiet. "You can't keep doing this."
You chew the inside of your cheek, this conversation reminding you too much of the one you had with your parents the first time they caught you hiding and throwing away your food. Your eyes flicker away from his and back as you start to realize you might be struggling more than you thought.
His jaw tightens and his gaze follows yours to the scale and mirror then he sighs. "I should throw those stupid things out," he says, more to himself then to you.
"No," you respond quickly and he furrows his brows when he looks back at you. "I need them," you try to explain, your body tensing at the thought of being without them even though they do nothing but cause you anxiety and distress. "I have to keep checking..." your voice trails off, you don't want to open up any further. You don't want Bucky you judge you.
"Checking what?" Bucky asks, hoping you will let him in.
"I have to keep checking my weight," you finish and you find yourself suddenly unable to hold the rest in. "I've always been just a little over from where I need to be with my weight." You look down at your body as you sit next to him, you can easily envision all the flaws you saw in the mirror this morning. "I'll get there, I'm close," you tell him as if he's the one you need to convince and not the small voice that dictates what you can and cannot eat.
You had been focused on your weight for almost your whole adult life and never reached your target. It doesn't matter that the target keeps shrinking anytime you are even remotely close. A few times, you had almost reached the number you thought would finally mean you were perfect only for the small voice to disagree. It would insist you could still lose more weight or you had put on too much muscle or needed more muscle or any number of things. Each time your goal changed, your eating habits became stricter and your workouts became more intense.
Bucky cups your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin lightly, "What are you talking about? You're in the best shape of anyone on the team. You're perf-"
"No," you shake your head, pulling free from his fingers. "I'm far from perfect, you of all people should know that. You're a super soldier, you were practically built to be perfect," you tell him and Bucky's metal hand twiches as he removes it from your waist. "I knew you wouldn't understand," you add with deep a sigh.
"I want to understand. I'm worried about you," Bucky says but you don't look at him.
"You don't need to worry about me," you say, shifting away from him on the bed. You feel yourself becoming defensive and worried he will want you to stop checking your weight and eat more. "I'm fine, I told you. Why can't you just leave it alone?"
"Because you're not fine," he says, his voice raising a bit to show his frustration, not at you but with the situation. "You don't eat, Y/N, not nearly enough and I've seen the way you push yourself too hard when we train. I kept telling myself you knew what you were doing and you would stop if you needed to but then today..." he shakes his head as his voice trails off for a moment.
"Today was an accident," you insist but you're less sure of yourself then you had been. "I have it under control. If I had known about the mission beforehand, I wouldn't have gotten sick."
"You didn't get sick, you passed out," he says and you can see he's becoming more upset by the conversation and the fact that you will not listen to him. "What if that had happened in the middle of the mission? What if we had been somewhere more dangerous and I couldn't get to you? You've gone on solo missions, no one would have known what happened to you."
You get up quickly, needing to distance yourself from Bucky's questions and concern and the doubt they are creating in you. You pace around your room, trying to absorb his words but you don't want to believe he's right. You don't want to admit that you're not okay again.
Without realizing it, you walk towards your mirror and tap the scale with your foot. Bucky gets up, coming over to you but your eyes are fixed on the scale. You tap it again and it turns on, the zeros blinking slowly as you remember the number that stared at you this morning.
"I get that your worried about your weight-" he starts but you cut him off.
"Of course I'm worried about it," you look up, folding your arms around your body tightly. "You have no idea how easy it is to gain weight, one little slip and I could lose all my progress. I have to watch everything I eat and workout so I can be good enough to be here, so I can be perfect," you voice your inner thoughts to Bucky for the first time. "I can't just stop," you tell him.
He moves closer to you, removing the empty space you created between the two of you and you begin to feel nervous again. "I want you to be healthy," he takes your hand in his, pulling you away from the scale.
"So do I, that's why I need to do this," you argue but you feel defeated, as if you are only moments from admitting you know he is right.
He shakes his head, his metal arm rests on your lower back, pulling you closer to him. "What you're doing is the opposite of being healthy, doll. Can you see that?"
You look up at him, seeing the concern fill his eyes and you know you can't deny it any longer. You bite your lip and nod slowly, "I think I need help."
"I'm here doll," he responds softly.
"This isn't-" you struggle to find the words and he gives you time, holding you quietly. "This isn't the first time this has happened," you tell him honestly. Bucky holds you silently as you tell him about your struggles with your eating disorder and how you have relapsed previously after getting treatment. He doesn't ask questions or interrupt you, his hand moves gently up and down your back as you open up completely. When you finish, he wipes your tears softly and kisses your forehead.
"I thought I was okay," you tell him, your voice breaking. He pulls you flush against his body, wrapping his arms around you.
"You will be," he assures you and you rest your head on his chest, hoping he is right. "You are the strongest person I have ever met, you can do this. I will help you any way I can, I promise."
You pull away to look up at him, realizing you'll be gone for at least a few months for treatment. "What am I going to tell everyone?" you ask him, feeling a wave of shame wash over you. It was one thing to break down and admit to Bucky that you had an eating disorder but it was an entirely different thing for the Avengers to find out. "I don't want the team to know," you shake your head, worried about their reactions.
He cups your cheek and you look up at him again, "Don't worry about the team or anything else, doll. I will take care of them and everything else. The only thing I want you to do is focus on getting better, on being healthy again." He gives you a hopeful smile and says, "I'll tell them we're going to visit your family. Fury will approve the time off, it shouldn't be an issue."
You sniffle in response then smile slowly, "We?"
He nods, "If that's okay with you. I know there are things you'll need to do alone, but I want to be close, in case you need me. I want to be there for you, every step of the way."
You wipe a tear quickly with the back of your hand and nod, unable to express how much Bucky's offer means to you in words. Instead, you reach up and press your lips to his softly, holding onto him tightly. Pulling away slightly, you look into his eyes and tell him, "I love you."
He smiles, running his fingers through your hair gently, his metal arm still holding you close. "I love you too, Y/N. You will be okay, I promise you will get through this."
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I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚
@soubi001 @mochie85 @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @lulubelle814 @siconetribal @jiyascepter @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @dracoswhorexx @lokiandbuckysdoll
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jjkamochoso · 6 months ago
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How do you think jjk men would court their crush? Feel free to add anyone you want but I would love to read about Choso.
OMG SO CUTE!!!! Thanks for the request and I hope you like it <3
JJK Men Courting Their Crush
A/n: okay so for this, I chose to depict most situations as their first time doing a certain courting activity with you so they’re a lil nervous and haven’t made their crush on you explicitly clear🫣 I hope that’s alright and makes sense!! And I can do a part 2 of them doing the same courtship things but with a confession, just lmk if that’s something you guys want🫶 please enjoy below!!
JJK men x gn!reader
Warnings: none
Yuji: cooking for you
“So, y/n, what do you think?”
Yuji was standing over you as you took a bite of the dish he made. Nervous energy was radiating off of him. He didn’t have much experience in the romance department but knew that usually the quickest way to someone’s heart is through their stomach. He wanted to treat you to some of his favorite dishes as a way to show you that you mean a great deal to him and hopefully get to know you better over a good meal. He had prepped in the school’s kitchen all day after spending hours trying to decide which entrees you’d like the best. He thought back to the times you all went out to eat in the city and what you ordered, then thought about what recipes he knew that were similar. As he was cooking, he hoped you liked what he made enough to where he could eventually do it for you every night.
As soon as it hit your tongue, you felt the warmth of the lovingly cooked food spread through your body. You could tell he spent lots of time on this for you and you were extremely flattered that he would go out of his way to do something like this for you.
“Yuji, it’s absolutely divine. I haven’t had something this yummy in years.”
Yuji put a hand on the back of his neck, sheepish from your compliments.
“I’m really glad you liked it. I have some more recipes that I’ve been meaning to try out and you would be the perfect taste tester if you’re up for doing this often.”
Your eyes lit up. “That would be amazing! But are you sure you wouldn’t mind cooking for me that much?”
“Of course,” he said earnestly, “it’d be tons of fun. Besides, I really like hanging out with you.”
And I really like being the cause of your adorable smile! he wanted to say, but decided to save those words for another time. Chatting and laughing with you was enough for now—maybe he’d cook up enough confidence one day to tell you how he really feels about you.
Megumi: making you playlists
Megumi couldn’t stop fidgeting as he waited for you to meet up with him before class. You had mentioned that you wanted new songs to listen to so when you asked him for recommendations, he took the collecting of songs very seriously. He was never good with his words so maybe you’d get the hint that he had a crush on you from some of the songs he chose. He heard your steps coming down the hall and it was like he forgot how to stand and breathe like a normal human being. He shoved his hands in his pockets and studied a stray rock lying on the ground to look busy.
“Hey Megumi!” you greeted, making him jump slightly. He mumbled out a “hello” and immediately dug into his backpack, a CD emerging from its inky depths.
“Well, I, uh-I didn’t know if you used Spotify or YouTube or something else but I know you mentioned having a CD player so… yeah. Here.”
He thrusted the CD into your hands without meeting your eyes. The plastic case held a disc that said “Y/n’s Playlist” in sharpie.
“Thank you so much!” you said, inspecting it, “I’ll give this a listen after class. I really do appreciate you taking the time to do this for me.”
“It’s nothing,” replied Megumi, running his fingers through his hair.
“Oh wait, I won’t know the song names or artists when I listen to this. Wanna come over later and help me make a track list?”
Megumi felt his face burn up with a blush. “Y-yeah. That, uh, sounds great.”
He’d definitely have to make you more playlists and keep forgetting to include that pertinent information!
Yuta: complimenting you nonstop
“Y/n! I like your shirt!”
“Y/n! Great fighting form!”
“That joke was hilarious, you’re so funny, y/n!”
These were things you were used to hearing when you were around Yuta. He was always showering you with compliments, not that you were complaining. He had a major crush on you and wanted to start letting you know that he saw, appreciated, and admired you without revealing his full feelings for now. You and your classmates were training on the field and Yuta was your sparring partner.
“Wow, you really pinned me down quick! That was amazing,” Yuta said as you extended a hand to help him up.
“You’re always so sweet, thank you,” you replied. “You were really good, though, too! I’m sure you’ll get me next time. You’re super strong.”
Yuta felt his breath hitch in his throat. He was superb at giving compliments but horrible at receiving them.
“Geez, that, umm… it means a-a lot coming from you because you’re so great. Thank you.”
“Please, I’m not that cool! You’re awesome as well,” you told him.
“Yeah, but not as awesome as you!”
It seemed that you two were stuck in a never ending cycle of compliments. After a few more rounds of back and forth, you agreed that you were both cool and strong and whatever other positives you could think of. Yuta left the field in high spirits, thinking of all the creative ways he could tell you how cute you were the next time he saw you.
Inumaki: giving you flowers
Toge stood, clippers in hand, eyeing the flowers in front of him with an intensity rarely seen from the blonde. He was trying to decide on which flowers to cut to make you a bouquet. Taking flowers for personal purposes would normally be extremely frowned upon but he was the plant caretaker and figured he could get away with snipping a few here and there. He thought back to all of your previous conversations, wracking his brain for any moments you might have mentioned a favorite all those times you walked here together. He remembered you’d said you liked them all so he really couldn’t choose wrong. When he made up his mind and clipped his picks, he smiled under his pulled up collar. He walked over to your dorm, an extra pep in his step.
“Toge! Hi!” you greeted kindly as you opened your door. His collar was now pulled down and you felt your heart swell at seeing his cursed marks curled in a happy expression. You were afraid you were about to get pranked when you saw he had his hands behind his back, but your fears were quelled when he presented you with a small bouquet of flowers.
“These are for me?” you asked, surprised.
He shook his head. “Salmon.”
“You’re the best! Thank you!”
You grabbed him into a hug, careful not to crush the flowers. He’d keep bringing you bouquets until either you got the hint that he liked you as more than a friend or he got the courage to write out his feelings.
Noritoshi: writing you letters
It was hard to make friends at the Kyoto school since your classmates were always so on edge about letting people get close, but you and Noritoshi had somehow bypassed that fear and your acquaintance turned into something deeper over the years. Unfortunately for Noritoshi, his feelings now dove even deeper than that, finding himself in the throes of a crush. Unsure of what to do, he’d tried ignoring the nagging feelings in heart every time you spoke to each other, but it never work. After much introspection and consideration, he determined that it would be wise to see if you felt the same. If you did, great. If you didn’t, he’d be released from the constant “what if’s” running through his mind. As he started putting pen to paper, he felt his confidence falter. Who pours their feelings into a letter instead of speaking face to face? Is that cowardly? He changed gears; this letter wouldn’t be of romantic intent, per se, but just of a way to get to know you better and show you he cares about what you think, how you feel, and whatever else he managed to write before his fingers failed him. When he nervously slipped the sealed paper under your dorm door a few days later, he anxiously awaited to see when you would mention it in your face to face conversation with him—you didn’t.
Imagine his surprise when he was greeted with his own letter hours later! You had expressed your delight in his letter and wanted to keep him as a consistent pen pal for the near future. Noritoshi’s hands grasped your letter, fingers tracing your words. With this new open view of each other’s hearts, your private conversations safe from prying ears, he yearned for the day he could tell you the truth of his heart before it was spilled in ink.
Todo: carrying/lifting things for you
Aoi knew you were more than capable of handling things yourself but he wanted to show you that he’d be your perfect, strong protector so he’d always offer to carry whatever you were holding, no matter how big or small. At school? He’d carry your books. Grocery shopping together? He’d lift all the heavy items in and out of the cart. Need to move your car but you’re too lazy to get up? Consider it done—he just picked it up and moved it. He hoped that by continuing to show up for you like this, you’d see how much he really likes you. Of course, he wouldn’t be afraid of speaking to you about his crush on you, but he would rather go out of his way to impress you first before stating his obvious attraction to you.
“Y/n! Let me get that for you!”
Your dorm room door was propped open and Aoi had shown up, seemingly out of nowhere, when you were struggling to move some furniture around in your room. He lifted the couch with ease and shot you an award winning grin and wink.
“Just tell me where you want it.”
You pointed to a spot near the window and he put the couch down gracefully, barely making a sound.
“Anything else I can help with?” he asked eagerly. He’d rearrange the layout of the entire school if you asked him to—anything to make you happy!
Gojo: buying you gifts
Satoru was not the type to outright tell someone he had a crush on them. You know, the whole “love is the greatest curse of all” thing? He’d much rather ignore those feelings in hopes of them disappearing. So when he found himself fawning over you nonstop, he didn’t know the right way to convey his desire to connect with you on a deeper level. He might’ve been running on empty in regard to romantic skills, but his bank account was severely overflowing. He began to take mental notes on everything you looked at and put back while in Tokyo during your shopping trips and visited those places to buy all of it on his own.
“I got this for you.”
Satoru had several bags by their handles that he gently nudged toward you. Confused, you opened them, greeted by multiple items that you had taken notice of but didn’t have the funds to purchase. You didn’t remember Satoru even being there when you were browsing them in the first place.
“Satoru, how did you-”
“I pay attention more than people think,” he shrugged, glad to have his blindfold covering his eyes so you couldn’t see how they softened when they met yours.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” you said, trying not to cry tears of happiness.
He chuckled. “I know. You deserve nice things, though. If you can’t treat yourself, then allow me to.”
He was glad he turned infinity off to feel your arms wrap around his in a tight hug. Even if the words evaded him at the moment, he’d be sure to keep showing how much he cares for you by giving you things to remember him by.
Geto: taking you to the farmer’s market
“Come, y/n, I have a fun morning planned for us.”
Suguru had texted you and invited you to the local farmer’s market. You, of course, accepted readily, and now that he was here to pick you up, he was starting to feel a little nervous. Your friendship was a wonderful thing but Suguru craved to get to know you better and see if you shared the same romantic affections he was feeling toward you. He figured that going somewhere low key like a farmer’s market would be great to cultivate easy conversations. As you two walked together, admiring the handiwork of the local artists, you shivered from a cold breeze that kicked up. Suguru was quick to remove his outer layer and drape it over your shoulders.
“Oh, Suguru, I don’t want you to get cold.”
“I’m alright, I promise. I’d rather be a little chilly than see you freeze on my behalf. May I buy you a warm drink as well?”
After that, you were nice and toasty and he glad he could help in any way he could. When the market was closed and you two walked back home, you decided to make a visit here an every week occurrence. Suguru was sure that in a few weeks’ time, he’d prove to you that he’d be a great partner.
Nanami: cooking with you
Kento wasn’t sure how to approach the topic of his romantic feelings toward you. He valued straightforward communication, but he couldn’t find it within himself to outright express his desires for romance right now. Instead, he opted to show you he cared by inviting you over to cook a meal together. He had asked you to pick a recipe and went shopping for all the ingredients. Now that you were finally over at his place, he felt his palms getting sweaty as saw you chopping vegetables, looking extremely cute while doing so. You gave him a sweet smile when you noticed him staring and he quickly looked away, a blush apparent on his cheeks. You dropped the veggies into the hot pan and he started cooking them. You two worked well together, never in each other’s ways and able to partake in conversation while keeping the task at hand. When dinner was ready, you were ecstatic that everything tasted delicious.
“Is it alright if I ask you to join me again sometime soon?” Kento asked.
“I would love nothing more,” you replied sweetly, his stomach now teeming with butterflies.
Choso: stargazing with you
Choso had zero experience with any type of romantic love. He was the expert in familial loyalty, a prime example of being a great big brother, but being a boyfriend? Not his forte. However, his desire to woo you outweighed his nerves so that’s what led him to call you and tell you to meet him outside one night. He read online that looking at the stars is a good way to induce romance and he was determined to prove to you that he’d be a worthy partner. You were taken aback when you saw he had set up blankets on the ground and put out picnic baskets of snacks. He had even wrapped you up in another blanket so you didn’t get cold! Once you were settled, you both chatted about anything and everything as you gazed at the wonders of the night sky.
“Choso! A shooting star, quick, make a wish!”
It was quiet for some time.
“What’d you wish for?” he asked, breaking the silence.
“I’m not supposed to say or else it won’t come true,” you teased, nudging his arm. “What about you?”
He was studying the sky before he looked back at you. “I wished to keep having the privilege of sitting here with you as many days as I can.”
You felt yourself go shy at his confession but it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. After that, you had plans in place to meet up again in a few days to do it all over. Choso was hoping that his next wish would also come true—that he’d be confident enough to bring the true feelings of his heart to light.
Toji: inviting you to local music shows
There was nothing better to Toji than a cheap activity, an attractive person by his side, and the promise of alcohol. That’s what led him to extend an invitation to you to join him at a small concert being held by a band you both liked. When you met him outside the run down venue, Toji felt his heart rate pick up as he saw how good you looked. His calm and collected demeanor didn’t change a bit, though, as he lazily threw an arm over your shoulder and walked with you inside.
“This place is super cool, Toji,” you said, taking in your surroundings.
He smirked. “I knew you’d like it. Wanna get something to drink?”
Toji wasn’t known for having tons of money but he liked you enough to pay for the first round of your drinks. As the band finished setting up their equipment and started playing their first song, you had a blast dancing along while he kept stealing glances at you between sips of his drink, relieved that you were having fun. You were able to convince him to dance with you after a few more drinks (not that the drinks affected his decision making—he just couldn’t deny a request from someone as hot as you). As the night wound down and he walked you home, he felt an excitement spark in his heart that he hadn’t known in a long time. He hoped that one day he’d stop being a coward and tell you he really liked you, but for now, he’d be content just holding you in his arms—and definitely keeping an eye out for flyers with information for the next show.
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uluvjay · 1 year ago
Note
Hiiii
I absolutelyfucking love your Max Verstappen x innocent Horner! reader fic so please m here for another
What if reader had a purity ring and after they do it he slides it off her finger and makes it a necklace for himself. Horner would be mad. But glad that it was him than anyone else
Sending positive vibes
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Max Verstappen x Horner daughter!
Warnings?; mentions to sex, cursing, kissing, probably some errors
Au masterlist!
“Darling where’s your ring?” You father asks picking up your hand to analyze the tanned finger with a pale line showcasing where the small band usually sits.
“My ring?” You question looking down the your hand as well.
“Shit, where’s my ring?” You panic trying to think about where it could have gone.
“Why would you take it off? Have you been seeing someone?” He questions you, bright eyes searching your face for answers to his questions.
“Of course not” you lie straight through your teeth, you had been seeming someone but your father didn’t need to know that it was his star driver that was fucking you silly every night.
“Then what happened to it?”
The question has you thinking back to the night before, Max had been teasing you about it stating there was no reason for you to keep the purity ring on when he’d already defiled you multiple times.
Your chest heaved up and down as you tried to catch your breath after coming down from yet another orgasm. Max had laid beside you, one of his large hands holding your left hand in it as he spun the small golden band around.
“Why do you still wear this?” He questioned quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“Well it signifies purity right? Like you were supposed to wear it till marriage and when you lost your virginity?” He continued
“Yeah so?”
“So? Schat I took your virginity a long time ago, your far from pure now” he laughed looking at you with bright eyes.
A bright blush took over your cheeks at his words but part of you was to tired to get into the full details about why you chose to still wear it and just settled with a simple “It was a gift from my father and he’d lose his mind if he saw me without it” before sleep overtook and you were out cold while cuddled into Max’s side.
However what you didn’t see or feel was max slipping the delicate band off your finger and onto his chain that rested on the nightstand next to him.
You thought back to this morning and how you over slept leaving you with little time to get dressed and be at the track in time for qualifying, the busy morning not allowing you to notice your missing ring.
“I-i’m not sure, I guess I took it off before bed?” You stated but it sounded more like a question.
Your father opened his mouth to speak but he was cut off by the sight of Max’s car being brought back into the garage not having realized qualifying had ended and Max has once again securing pole position.
You watched as the Dutchman exited the car, pulling off his helmet and black balaclava revealing his messy and damp locks.
His eyes met yours and he shot you a sneaky wink before making way to your father for a small hug and congratulations.
You blushed at the closeness of his large body beside yours, watching as he undid the Velcro of his racing suit and pulled it down to hang around his waist.
However once his dark fireproof was revealed you couldn’t help but notice the outline of something underneath.
The imprint of his chain was there as it should be however you saw something attached to it but before you could connect the dots, the voice of your stepmother cut you off.
“Max did you get a charm for your chain?” Geri questioned causing all eyes to turn to the blonde man; including your fathers.
“Oh yes, beautiful isn’t it?” He smirked as he pulled the chain from underneath his top.
You felt the world stop as you saw your ring resting on the chain, the ring you had just told your father that you couldn’t place, the ring that was meant to signify purity, the ring that should not have been around Max Verstappen’s neck.
Christians eyes shot from the band hanging around the chain to your face that was now covered by shaky hands and the blank and unbothered face of his star driver.
“My office now. Both of you.” He demanded
Shutting the door behind himself Christian paced back and forth, he wasn’t sure what exactly it was that he was feeling.
Anger? Check, confusion? Check, shock? Double check.
“What the hell is going on between you two? And why in the fuck does max have your ring around a chain?” He asked, hands taking place on his hips.
“I-uh, we” you started but the man beside you cut you off.
“We’ve been seeing each other for awhile now, just a little under a year” max spoke in a soft tone.
“I’m sorry a year?” Your father exclaimed at the confession.
“Yes” you and max both answered at the same time.
“And I can assume you were the one to deflower my child?”
“Dad!”
“No you don’t get to ‘dad’ me right now young lady, answer the question max”
“Uh yes” max blushed at Christian’s words.
“God, fuck at least it was Max and not some college guy” he spoke in relief.
“So your okay with us being together?” You asked quietly, unconsciously moving closer to Max.
“I am but no snogging or anything gross around me” he shivered at the thought.
“I promise, thank you” you smiled as you made your way to him and pulled him into a hug.
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy darling” he replied as he placed a sweet kiss to your head.
With a sweet smile you made your way back towards max, taking a hand in his and pulling him out of the room.
But before you could fully exit your father’s voice stopped max in his tracks.
“Take care of my little girl max!”
“Always sir” he smiled at his boss before following behind your bouncing frame, a content smile on his face at the feeling of your hand in his and the sight of your pretty bow he’d gotten that sat perfectly in your hair.
Finally making it into his drivers room he pulled you in for a breathtaking kiss, the feeling of his warm lips so familiar and comforting.
His hands sank down to rest on your ass while yours slipped into his still damp hair, tugging on it when he slipped his tongue into your mouth-immediately taking dominance.
Pulling away for air his face held a smirk at the sight of your already blown out eyes and flushed face.
“I love you” he spoke running a finger over your cheek.
“I love you to” you smiled, pulling the blonde back down for another hot kiss.
-
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planet-dusk · 1 year ago
Text
☆ making bad decisions for you ∘ b.c
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chan fucked up, and now he's left to deal with the consequences. how does one find someone to help their sweet pup through her heat on such short notice? the first step: call jisung. the second step: stay on the straight path. he has this under control. at least that's what chan thinks, until you throw him a curve...
─── ☆ pairing: bang chan x fem!reader
─── ☆ length: 2.3k
─── ☆ warnings: puppy hybrid!reader, sub!reader, perv!chan, big dick chan, pillow humping, corruption, bondage, unprotected sex, breeding (like a lot), dirty talk, praise, pet names: baby, pup, puppy
─── ☆ note: 18+ minors dni. the characters don’t represent real idols; this is fiction for entertainment purposes only. fictional smut is not a reflection of real life ! always communicate with your partner and practice consensual and safe sex ‹33
© planet-dusk do not copy, translate or repost my works.
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Chan’s in over his head.
He knew this day would come. He should’ve been prepared. But he’s been so busy lately, and he didn’t keep track of your cycle — fuck, if only he could physically beat himself up for being the world’s shittiest owner. 
And of course he can’t find the informational flyers anywhere, and he doesn’t trust the internet, the advice varying so wildly he isn’t sure what to believe. He could call the shelter, but he doesn’t want them to find out he messed up. What if they take you away from him? 
So he calls the only experienced person he can think of: Jisung. 
“I really don’t know what to do, Han, fuck! Please help…”
“Take a deep breath, it’ll be alright. It’s not your fault there’s a suppressant shortage. You sure you don’t want to…?” 
“I can’t, it’s… it’s wrong,” Chan feels the panic rising in his chest again. He takes another gulp of air to calm his shaky nerves. 
“Fine, okay, it was just a suggestion! No need to yell at me, lemme look into it. I'll find a stud for her and come over as soon as my shift’s done, okay? You try to stay calm in the meantime and do exactly as I've told you to. Can you do that?”
“I’m sorry, it’s - I’m a mess, I should’ve seen it coming, but thank you, Ji. Thank you. I owe you one.”
“No worries, bro. Good luck. Call me if you need any help.”
The call disconnects and Chan is left standing alone in the empty bathroom, his heart galloping in his chest. He failed you. But he needs to be there for you now. He's not proud of what he’s about to do, but you’ll understand. He has no other choice. When this is all over you’ll understand. Please, you have to…
“Please forgive me, Y/N,” he whispers and unlocks the door.
As soon as he steps out of the bathroom Chan’s thrown off balance by your body slamming into his. “Channie, sir, please,” you whimper, pressing yourself tighter against his side and wrapping your arms around his neck. Chan feels a blush rise to his cheeks and turns his head away, swallowing harshly. 
“Let’s go to your bedroom, pup.” 
You yelp excitedly and dart off, throwing yourself on the bed. Your tail wags against the sheets and Chan can’t help but smile. When he was a little kid he always thought he’d get a wolfdog hybrid, or a big husky, but then he saw you at the shelter: a little cream coloured mutt with soft ears and a fluffy tail, and he knew he had to bring you home. 
You’re watching him rummage through his nightstand, head cocked and ears pointed. “‘t hurts, Channie, please hurry,” you roll on your back and stay there, skirt sliding down your thighs and almost exposing your panties. Chan coughs. 
“I know, baby, Channie’s here to make it all better,” he mumbles and fishes a pair of padded handcuffs out of the drawer. “Just give me your hands, okay?”
You give him a puzzled look but comply, letting him attach the cuffs to the headboard. “I'm so sorry, puppy, I'm sorry,” he whispers, avoiding your eyes. 
Then he turns around and hurries out of the room, closing the door behind him with a soft but resolute thud. 
Your frustrated howls are loud enough to reach the living room and he flinches. Every noise you make pierces his soul and adds to the pool of guilt in his gut. He had to do it, Jisung told him so — keep her safe, tie her up somewhere, otherwise she might hurt herself. It’s for her best interest. 
Chan knows, but why does it hurt him so much? He checks his phone, looking for a distraction. Two hours left until Jisung’s shift is done. Surely he can find a stud before the end of the day, right? Jisung knows so many people. He said everything would be fine. Chan just has to relax and trust him.
He takes another deep breath and turns on the tv, mindlessly going through the channels. He checks his phone again. 5 minutes have passed. Time’s never felt this slow. 
Eventually he settles on a documentary about tiger hybrids. He almost succeeds in focusing on the (terrible but entertaining) storyline when he notices your howls have changed into softer, breathier sounds. They almost sound like… moans? Chan thinks. He feels his cock stir. He shifts on the couch and stares at the tv, but the screen is a blur and he doesn’t hear a word the voiceover says. 
The noises continue and Chan grows more restless. How…? He looks at his phone again. 90 minutes left. 
With growing curiosity, Chan’s feet lead him to your bedroom almost involuntarily. Your noises have grown softer, little moans and whimpers drifting through the door. With a quiet click he opens it and peeks his head around.
You’re sitting on the bed, awkwardly positioned with your hands still chained to the headboard. Somehow you’ve managed to maneuver one of the pillows between your spread knees. You’re grinding down on it, fluffy tail causing your skirt to ride up. From his position in the doorframe Chan catches a glimpse of your white panties hugging your ass. 
The noises you’re making range from whiny to plain frustrated, the friction not enough to satisfy you. When you bend over to try and find a better position, Chan sucks in a breath, cock swelling at the sight of your soaked panties. You’re so wet the gusset has become almost see through, clinging to the outline of your pussy. 
Chan shouldn’t be here. He should leave before you notice him, before it’s too late. He should go back to the living room, put on his headphones and wait for Jisung to arrive. Let him sort it out. Get you a handsome dog hybrid to help you through your heat. 
“Chan?” your voice is soft, halting his train of thought. “Please…” 
He’s not sure if it’s your broken plea or something else that compels him to move, but Chan steps into your room. Your tail starts to wag slowly and you drop to your elbows, presenting yourself to him. From this distance Chan can see the tantalizing curve where your thighs meet your ass, the spot he wants to lick and suck and tease…
“‘s okay, puppy, Channie’s here.” There’s still time to leave. But you’re looking back at him with your pretty eyes — how could he say no to his sweet pup? He wants to protect you. Keep you safe. Jisung and his stud be damned. 
“I’m so sorry I did this to you, Y/N. I panicked.”
His hand strokes your thigh and you sigh into his touch. “Don’t leave me again, Channie. Promise.”
Chan shakes his head. “It was a mistake, I promise, I’m here with you now pup. Let me help you.” 
You mewl when his fingers graze your clothed slit. “Sir, ‘s hurting, don’t make me wait any longer, need you to breed me now, please,” you trail off, grinding back against his hand. 
Normally Chan would take his time to explore your body, tease you until you’ve cum at least twice before he’d give you his cock. But he hears the urgency in your voice, your pained little whimpers as you tug at your restraints. 
And it’d be a lie to say he hasn’t fantasized about this before. Late at night in his own bedroom while he tried to muffle his moans, unsure of what your sensitive ears could pick up. 
Chan slides your panties down your thighs with shaky hands. Your pretty cunt’s all puffy and glossy with your slick and it drips down his fingers when he pushes two inside. 
Your reaction is instantaneous, a pleasant gasp as you arch your back for him. “Need more, need your cock, need it now,” you plead again. 
“You sure you can take it, puppy?”
Chan rolls his plush bottom lip between his teeth. He doesn’t want to hurt you. 
“‘Mmm don’t care, make it fit,” you pout and wag your tail for him, “Channie.”
He’ll never tire of hearing his name like this. A broken sound, filled with so much need it goes straight to his head. 
He chucks off his pants and his boxers, hard cock springing free and slapping against his abdomen. He slides the tip over your slit to wet it, holding your hips to keep you still. Then he sheathes himself in your dripping heat inch by inch, whispering soft praises into the air between you. 
“Just like that, puppy, don’t move. Gonna fill you up so good baby, let me take care of you.”
Chan knows he’s big, watches your pretty hole stretch to accommodate him. He groans at how wet and warm you feel. It’s even better than he imagined. When you shift forward on your knees he growls, “Where do you think you’re going, pup? I'm not even halfway in yet.”
He pushes in deeper, watches you arch your back even more. “Channie, so full,” you pant when he finally bottoms out, stilling for a moment to catch his breath. The sensation of your soft, velvety cunt around him is overwhelming all his senses. 
“Yeah? Is my puppy nice and full?”
“Wanted - wanted this for so long,” you say and his heart makes a little leap. He knows it’s just your heat-clouded mind talking, the hormones making you more susceptible to his presence. But there’s a small part of him that dares to hope you’re speaking the truth. 
“Yah - wanted my sir, my Channie,” you nod when he starts moving, holding tight onto the handcuff’s chain. He briefly considers removing them, but you don’t seem to mind being tied up like this, pushing back on his cock like the neediest little thing he’s ever seen.
My Channie.
“I want you too, Y/N,” he groans and you hum at the sound of your name. “Can’t stay away from you - my pretty baby… knew it from the day I brought you home.”
You’re moaning every time his hips meet yours, soft uh-uh-uh’s like music to his ears. Your pussy is gushing around his length, and Chan’s not sure how long he’s going to last if you keep clenching down on him like this.
“Fuck, puppy - you’re hugging my cock so tight,” he lands a playful smack on your ass, “want me to breed you that bad, huh? Want me to stuff you full with pups?”
He tilts your hips to reach even deeper, fat cock slamming into you with force. You’re slumping against the mattress and he hovers over your back to nip at your ear, eliciting another moan from you. The soft fur of your tail tickles his abs but Chan is too focused on the erratic pulsing of your walls around him. 
“Are you going to cum for me, baby? I can feel you’re close, just let go. I’ve got you. Channie’s got you. My good girl.”
You sob and he feels your release gush around him, fucking you through your high with renewed vigor. You’re a blabbering mess, unable to form words except for “Channie,” “please,” and “fuck.” 
“Did my puppy lose her tongue?” He grins. “Getting all dumb on my cock after one orgasm, and I haven’t even bred you yet, baby.”
“Please…need it,” you whisper into the sheets, “need you to cum inside, please, sir.”
Even with his weight pressing you into the bed you’re still angling your hips up more, and Chan buries his face into the crook of your neck. You smell so good, like vanilla and the heady scent of sex. “I always keep my promise, pup, I’m going to breed you so well you’ll feel it dripping out of you for the next three days.”
You turn your head just enough to catch his gaze, your eyes so glossy and fucked-out Chan loses all composure. He ruts into you one, two more times before ropes of thick cum paint your inner walls and tumble you headfirst into another orgasm. 
His thighs are shaking, your cunt milking him of every last drop until he’s a panting mess on top of you. For a moment the two of you lay still, breathing heavily, until Chan realizes you’re still chained to the bed. He pulls out and you mumble something when you feel his cum drip out of you, rubbing your thighs together. 
Chan unclasps the handcuffs and kisses your wrists, hugs you close and captures your lips with his own. They’re so soft, needy little sounds already escaping you again as you rut against his thigh. “Need more, Channie.” 
“Insatiable little thing,” he grins and traces your puffy cunt with his fingers. “Can’t get enough, can you?” 
He slips one finger in your sensitive hole just as the doorbell rings. You look up in surprise, eyes wide and ears darting in all directions. 
Chan kisses you again. “Ignore the bell, pup. I’m not going anywhere. Made a promise, remember? Need to breed you nice and round. Maybe make you beg a little more for it,” he chuckles, “let me see how needy you can really get.” 
You’re grinding down on his thigh now and Chan doesn’t care how long he has to stay here with you, he’ll give you whatever you want. He’ll spend days holed up inside your nest if he has to. 
You grab his shirt and pull him closer, and the blaring sound of his ringtone rips him out of his reverie. 
He rolls over with a groan and hits the green button, cutting off Jisung’s voice. “It’s already taken care of, Ji. Thank you.”
“Wha —? You sly dog!”
Chan throws his phone into a corner and rolls you onto your back, slotting himself between your thighs with a smile. “Don’t worry, pup. I won’t let anyone else touch you ever again.”
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© planet-dusk do not copy, translate or repost my works.
3K notes · View notes
kingkatsuki · 5 months ago
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— will you love me till it hurts? (never leave me at my worst)
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Kaji hates himself when he gets like this, but luckily for him he has you to bring him back from the brink.
Pairing: Kaji Ren x f!reader.
Warnings: 18+, established relationship, exhibitionism, public sex, dirty talk, spanking, choking, blood!mention, fingering, creampie.
Word Count: 4.6k.
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Kaji hates it when he gets like this.
The anger and frustration of the world work to tear every inch of the resolve he’s built around himself brick by brick. Demolishing the wall to leave him surrounded in the rubble of his destruction as he’s back to worn foundations and forced to try and find himself again.
He was already running late to meet you, something that had regret swimming in his chest at the thought of you waiting outside pothos looking all pretty while he made his way through the town. Deciding to cut through a back alley to avoid going through the market street to avoid any early evening crowds he managed to run into a group of four guys who were hunched in a circle.
He tried to ignore them, he really did— with absolutely no intention of ruining your date night again. But the taller one out of the four just had to say something. The only word he was able to make out over his music was Furin, as Kaji’s hands clenched into fists at his sides. Exhaling softly, he turns his headphones up, drowning out the asshole with heavy metal. Kaji palms his jeans pocket and groans when he feels no chupa chups inside the denim.
Fuck.
He heaves a sigh as he shoves his hands inside his grey hoodie pocket in tight fists. Trying to resist the deep-seated urge inside him to throw hands as icy blue eyes darken and he continues forward, deliberately stepping around the asshole guys in front of him— but of course, they just had to try and cause problems. Stepping in front of Kaji the taller guys shoulders barged into him roughly, knocking him sideways as the anger continued to surge through his veins.
Kaji thinks of your face, and it helps, but this one guy in the group just won’t stop fucking yapping. He can’t hear it over his headphones, but he can see his big fucking mouth moving— and when there’s a pause in loud music to change tracks it’s all he can hear.
“—fuckin’ pussy.”
“What was that?” Kaji pulls his headphones down, any chance of backing out long gone.
“I said. These Furin guys like to act hard but you look like a fuckin’ pussy.” He enunciated the final words and that was it— all Kaji saw was red.
Nothing can stop his fist from swinging, a mean rear uppercut that has the guy raised from the ground before losing his footing and tumbling down like a tree in the forest. Kaji feels the satisfaction shoot through his veins as he narrowly dodges a punch to the side of his head, knocking his headphones off as he prays the crack he heard wasn’t the plastic breaking. He’s quick to land another punch as two guys take him on at once, swinging his leg to boot someone back as he hates that he can’t bring himself to stop.
Another crude crack sounds as his fist collides with a guy's nose, a hit that has blood running down his chin and onto the brick beneath him as the damage has the guy running. His friends gathered with fists raised as if deciding whether the fight was still worth it— there was always strength in numbers, but somehow Furin strength seemed to defy that simple logic.
Kaji is about to make their choice for them as the raging hatred still ebbs through his veins, unable to discern the difference between his opponent’s as he swings for whoever’s closer— feeling a rough hit to his eye, enough to draw blood against his brow as warm crimson trickles down his temple.
“Ren!” A voice shouts, and it permeates the monster that’s reared its ugly head inside him, but not enough for him to keep swinging, “Ren!”
“You should keep that mouth shut and those legs spread, doll.” Another one of the guys sneers, but it’s enough to have Kaji’s attention now— if they so much as touched a single hair on your head he’s certain he’d kill for you, “That’s all you’re good for.”
Kaji takes the chance to lead uppercut the guy distracted by you, knocking his jaw and he’s certain he hears you call his name again. But his vision blurs as pure ferocious anger takes over as he continues hitting the guy for saying anything about you.
“I’d happily break one of Furin’s whores.” It was like this man was trying to push Kanji even further into becoming a beast, as you fought to keep him where he stands.
“Ren, don’t!” You winced as you heard the shlick sound of fists colliding with cartilidge as the guy cried out in pain, positive Kaji had broken his nose.
“If you guys don’t fuck off I’ll scream so loud half of Furin will be here in five fucking minutes.” You bluff, close enough to pothos that it could work as truth. There was always at least one member of Furin in there at any given time, it was at least something.
“Yeah, yeah. He ain’t fuckin’ worth it—” He sneers, holding his nose. Thankful that his friends decided to break off into a run before the lead guy turned to leave, “You’re with a fucking wild animal, doll.”
You bolted towards to Kaji as they left, who still stood at the corner of the street. Tentatively reaching up to palm his cheek as you pushed yourself up on tiptoes to assess the damage from the cut oozing blood on his brow.
“Ren, what the fuck happ—” You begin, but he’s quick to cut you off with a fierce kiss that’s all tongue and teeth. Unforgiving and and relentless he forces his tongue between your lips as they part with surprise, swallowing your objections with his mouth as he pushes you against the nearest wall.
You taste the sharp metallic tang of his blood on your tongue as you moan against his lips, your palms splayed across his chest to push him back with worry as you search his eyes for answers.
“Ren, what happened?” You murmur, but Kaji doesn’t respond. Instead, he crashes his lips back against yours with far more insistently this time. His hand cups the base of your skull to keep you pressed against him as he tongues the roof of your mouth, pressing his toned body against yours as he pins you to the wall, firm and insistent.
He pours everything into the kiss, calloused fingers dig into your skin roughly as you find yourself moaning into his mouth in a mixture of pain and pleasure. It’s hard to keep up with Kaji when he’s like this, his movements frantic and rugged. His nose bumps yours as he tilts his head slightly, his palm moves from the back of your neck to circle your throat as he squeezes. The lack of air leaves you lightheaded as your eyes roll back, fingers pawing at his hoodie to keep him close as he bullies a thigh between your legs to keep you firm against him.
“Fuck,” You whine against his lips when you feel rough denim graze your panties, creating a salacious friction that has you shamelessly grinding down against him.
Kaji’s hand tightens against your neck to press you down harder against his thigh as he pulls more pretty sounds from the back of your throat. The sounds you make work to slay the fierce beast that rages inside him, now replaced with a new monster as he seeks to devour you whole.
Your hands are persistent as you card soothing hands through his hair, tugging slightly at the root as you rip more pretty sounds from deep in his chest.
“Ren.” You chance his name again, the sound paired with the heat from your touch scorches him as Kaji feels you slowly bring him back to himself.
“Don’t leave me—” The hand around your throat loosens as blue-grey eyes begin to soften, his chest heaving as he lays his forehead against your own, regret begins to ebb away at him when he notices his blood dried against your skin.
“What the fuck happened?” You hum softly, fingers stroking through his undercut as your nails scratch at his scalp, “You had me so worried.”
“Fuckin’ pricks,” He shakes his head, pushing some of his hair away from his forehead as his chest continues to heave.
You bring him back. He starts to feel the ache from his knuckles and the persistent throb against his brow. Letting you cup his cheeks in soft palms as you assess the damage with a worried frown, lips curled into such a pretty pout that Kaji has to restrain himself from kissing you again.
“Tried jumping me when I was coming to meet you,” He continued, taking the opportunity to lean down and bury his face in the curve of your neck as he inhaled your scent deeply, “Started talking shit about Furin.”
“So why didn’t you ignore them?” You murmured, pressing a kiss to the base of his jaw as he curled into you.
“Couldn’t.” It was then you realised the lack of sucker between his lips as it all started to make sense, “And then he said shit about you and I—”
“That doesn’t matter,” You whisper, pecking his lips, “Whatever they say doesn’t matter.”
“But it’s always you comin’ to protect me when I should be the one protectin’ you.” You can feel the sadness in his voice as you shake your head, shrugging your shoulder slightly to garner his attention.
“Don’t say that shit, Ren. I know you could’ve handled that, and you did,” You continued, holding his cheeks in your hands as he stared down at you with cold eyes, “But you would’ve hated yourself if I’d let you continue, and I would’ve hated myself too—”
You stroked the tender skin along the apple of his cheek, giving him a regretful look when he winced beneath your ministrations.
“You’re way too good for me.” He muttered as you shook your head.
“Shut up,” You smiled gently, pressing another kiss to his lips, “You don’t get to decide that.”
“It’s true, though.” He sighed.
He was nothing like Hiragi or Umemiya. He couldn’t treat you as well as they probably could— You deserved far better than him, someone who could look after you, protect you—
“You deserve better.”
You really did— and you looked far too pretty today all dressed up for your date together.
“Okay, now I’m convinced the lollipops are to stop you saying dumb shit.” You scrunched your nose in irritation, reaching into your jacket pocket to pull out a wrapped cherry chupa chups, “Let me shut you up again.”
Of course, you always carried around spare suckers for him.
Kaji watched as you began to pull at the base of the wrapper before his fists wrapped around your wrists tightly, holding you firm to stop you from unravelling it.
“Yeah— make me.” Kaji rasped huskily as the seams of his lips curled into a slight grin. Catching you off guard as the sucker dropped to the floor between your bodies and he pressed a sultry kiss to your glossy lips.
“Ren, you’re hurt.” You chance, wondering if he can even hear you as you feel his fingers flex around your throat in acknowledgement. His palm strokes against your clavicle, venturing lower to palm one of your breasts through your thin shirt before reaching down to palm the fat of your ass.
Using his grip to pull you against him so you could feel his need against your tummy, hard and pulsing through thick denim.
“Stop talkin’.” His lips press against the curve of your jaw, teeth grazing the soft skin as he reaches out to cup your warm sex between your thighs.
He makes it difficult for you to think, surrounded by the comforting scent of him as you breathe in the honeyed scent of candy mixed with the musky sandalwood that feels like home. Ignoring the fact that anyone could walk by and catch you in such a compromising position as you seek out your pleasure. Leaning into his touch his fingers brush the soaked crotch of your panties, pressing down on your fluttering hole through the fabric as he teases you with two fingers.
It’s pathetic really, how easily he has you like this. Debauched and needy in public no less, your clit throbbing with neglect as you shamelessly rolled your hips into his touch.
“Ren, someone could see—” You chance; but it’s futile.
“Let them.” He doesn’t mean it, not really. Every single part of you should be for his eyes only— he’d lock you away in a concrete castle and throw away the key if it meant that no one would so much as glance in your direction again or be the savage dragon that guards its entrance and protects the princess as he becomes a monster in order to keep you safe.
Your hips jolt when you feel him push your panties to the side, dragging two calloused fingers through your drooling slit as he pressed the wetness to your puffy clit. Delighting in the needy whine you made as he circled it slowly, half-lidded eyes focused on your face as he worked you with calm precision.
He was going far too slow for a man that had you pinned against a wall like this in public. The risk of anyone walking by and catching you was high enough as it is, but the fact that this was one of Furin’s patrol routes made it even worse— Any one of his team could walk by and see you like this at any given moment.
“Ren—” His name fell on deaf ears as he plunged two digits inside your tight heat, watching your head roll back against the cold brick as he began to pump them inside you with intent. Marvelling at the way your velvety walls pulsed around him, desperately trying to coax him deeper.
Kaji paused his movements, stilling his wrist to watch as you unabashedly fucked yourself against his fingers. He deliberately curled them towards the spot inside you he knew like the back of his hand as you keened at his touch. Clinging to his broad shoulders as you rocked yourself into his touch, thankful for his body pinning you to the wall, otherwise you were certain your legs would give way and you’d end up on the floor. You ground yourself against him, trapping his palm between you and his thigh as he pressed his leg firmer against you.
“That's it, pretty girl,” He rasped softly, reaching his thumb up to press sloppy circles against your clit, “You get yours.”
You leaned into his touch, greedily using him for your release. Rolling your hips to press his fingers against that same spot inside you as you felt the telltale signs of your impending climax.
“Oh, fuck, baby—” You whined, Kaji’s other hand was quick to slip between the back of your head and the wall. His sore bruised knuckles brushed against the tough brick to prevent your head from knocking against the hard surface as you found your bliss.
Kaji began to move his fingers with purpose as you met your end, taking over from your hips as he fucked you through your release. Pulling more airy sounds from between your pretty lips as he pressed lingering kisses against the corner of your lips.
“That’s it—” Kaji murmured, his persistent fingers prolonging your release as you writhed against him, “My good girl.”
His words had that same heat blooming inside you, from the tips of your ears down to your toes as your mind was shrouded in a lusty haze. Whining when he pulled his digits from your cunt to press them against your glossy lips, watching you take them inside your mouth as you sucked them clean. Tasting yourself on your tongue as he pressed down on the hot muscle, feeling your moans vibrate at the back of your throat.
“Stop teasing me,” You whined around his fingers as Kaji languidly pulled them from your warm, wet mouth. Dragging down on your bottom lip as he moved to dry them off against his pants.
You bit your lower lip between your teeth as you reached out to palm him through his skinny jeans. Annoyed that the rough denim had little give as you pathetically tried to wrap your palm around him, barely able to grip it between your fingers and yet it was enough to have Kaji’s hips jerking roughly. He grunted low and gravelly as he pulled his slick-soaked fingers from your core, busying himself with the button on his jeans as he tugged the zipper. Letting the denim hang around the curve of his ass, just enough to free his aching cock.
The length of it drooped towards the ground, hot and heavy as you immediately reached out to wrap slender fingers around it. Collecting the bead of pre that glistened against his leaking tip to smooth it down his length Kaji hissed through gritted teeth, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed thickly. Smiling coyly at his reaction, moving your hand back up to thumb his slit, collecting more fresh pre as you wrapped him back in a firm fist.
“Who’s teasin’ now?” He huffed, placing his palm on top of yours to tighten your hand around his cock. Holding it steady as Kaji began to fuck himself into your fist, rutting his hips as you let out a salacious whine at the sight.
“Look who’s talking,” You gasped when he moved his other hand to the back of your thigh, propping it up on his hip as your skirt bunched at your waist.
“Oh, fuck.” You practically whimpered when you felt the swollen tip of his cock nudge your clit as he dragged it through your folds. Coating himself with your slick as he gave a tentative jerk of his hips, his lips pressed against your ear as you felt the vibration in his tone when he caught against your tight hole.
Kaji moved his hand away from his cock in favour of leaning back to watch as you guided him towards your entrance with your fingers, pressing down on the thick, bulging veins as he felt the resistance of your fluttering hole. Seeking out your warmth as he slowly began to press himself inside you, immediately groaning when he felt the heat engulf him. Certain he’d never tire of the sensation, no matter how many times he had you like this.
You made it difficult to think— to breathe sometimes. Stealing every conscious thought as you shrouded his very being, plaguing him with thoughts of you that he was so certain there was nothing else in this life worth having if he didn’t have you.
“Ren, hurry up,” You brought him back from his thoughts with a jerk of your hips, “We don’t have time, someone could see—”
Kaji was positive that he didn’t even give a fuck if the whole of Furin saw once he was buried inside your warm, wet cunt. The overwhelming pleasure etched away at him as he could only think of you—
“Let them see.” He snarled brazenly, flashing his sharp fangs and gums.
“Ren.” You whined back.
“So fuckin’ needy.” Each word was enunciated by a sharp rut of his hips as he set a rough, fast pace.
Kaji hissed, feeling your cunt clamp down around him from his crude tone. Your hands clinging to his shoulders as he eased his hips back before surging forward. His skin was coated in a thin sheen of sweat beneath his hoodie as he felt the heat practically radiate from your warm body.
His balls slapped against the curve of your ass as the sound of skin against skin filled the alleyway. It wasn’t exactly a public path, but you knew many people liked to make the shortcut towards pothos through here, so the thought of being caught sent a discomfiting heat straight to your pelvis.
But Kaji fucked into you with purpose, settling on a desperate pace that had him willing you towards your climax hard and fast. The material of his hoodie was too thick to feel his body through, as you moved your hands to the back of his skull to feel skin against skin as you delighted in the sticky tack of his sweaty body against yours.
The rough brick scraped against your back with each sharp thrust, certain to leave marks behind as you tried your best to meet his movements from your precarious position.
“You’re always so good to me, pretty girl,” He rambled, his blunt cockhead grazing against your cervix with each forward motion, “So perfect.”
Kaji’s love is like a tsunami— indiscriminate, ferocious and all-consuming in its power. His waves crash down to encompass you, and carry you out to sea. It’s pure, unbridled power and it terrifies you sometimes quite how much you love him in return.
“Oi,” He smacks the curve of your ass playfully before gripping it hard, fingertips dip into the plush skin as he changes the angle of his thrusts, “What you thinkin’ about, sweetheart?”
“You.” You answer truthfully, as though there could ever be another answer.
Kaji’s lips curl into a small, genuine grin at your answer. Unable to stop himself from leaning forward to bring you into a sloppy kiss, drowning out your moans of pleasure as he continued to pound his cock into your dripping cunt.
You were positive you wouldn’t last much longer, especially with the way his cock moulded you into the shape of him. The prominent veins dragging against your inner walls with each cant of his hips, paired with the way the hairs at the base of his cock gave a delicious friction to your puffy clit every time he buried himself inside you the hilt had you racing towards your impending climax and you weren’t going to last much longer.
“I know you’re close,” He rasped gruffly, teeth nipping at your pulse point, “I can feel you clamping down around me.”
“Fuck, Ren.” Your lips parted in a near-constant groan when Kaji slipped a hand between your connected bodies to press his thumb against your clit, rubbing messy figures of eight against the sensitive nub as he pushed you towards your end.
Your lashes fluttered as you felt him bite down against your jugular, his tongue salving the mark as your walls clenched in response. Teetering on the precipice of bliss you continued to moan from each messy rut of his hips inside your wet heat before you found yourself falling into euphoria.
“Oh, shit.” You gasped as you felt your climax flow through you in harsh waves, your hips jerking as you came undone against him with a jumbled cry of his name. Your nails dug into the back of his neck as your thighs shook with pleasure, feeling Kaji continue to fuck you through your release as his thumb kept consistent against your clit. It was all too much and not enough at the same time as your walls continued to pulse around him, trying to milk his cock of his spend as you rode out your release.
“Ren.” Your lips parted in a constant pant as you tried desperately to remember to breathe, tongue almost lolling out from between glossy lips as Kaji adjusted your thigh on his hip. Holding you tight as he began to use your body for his own pleasure, fucking into you with haste as he searched for his end. His balls were heady and swollen with cum as they begged to spill into your eager hole, “I wanna make you cum too,”
“You don’t even have to fuckin’ try.” He grunted, your walls clung to him even tighter since your release. Increasing the pleasurable sensation as his pace became languid and desperate, messily thrusting his lips into you as he cherished the way your walls were squeezing around his cock, “I’m gonna—”
“Do it inside.” You barely managed to rasp out breathlessly as Kaji let out a sinful groan in response. Your nails digging into the back of his neck only heightened the pleasure as he gave a few more sloppy thrusts before spilling his spunk inside you with a debauched groan.
“Fu-uck.” Kaji’s hips pressed snugly against yours to the hilt as he emptied his heavy balls inside you. Shooting streams of whited, hot cum inside your water walls as your cunt continued to clench around him in satisfaction.
“Take it.” He whispered gruffly, pressing a kiss to the seam of your parted lips as you continued to pant, pathetically trying to capture your breath back.
You basked together in the afterglow as Kaji indulged in you for a moment longer, delighting in the fact you were pumped full of his release as you reached up to push his sweaty fringe away from his face, exposing his forehead as you gave the gash on his brow another frown. The blood now caked and cracked against his skin as Kaji snorted at your face.
“Don’t look at me like that after we just had sex.” He pouts, as you playfully push your finger against his lips to try and push them back down.
“Your cuts gonna get infected— ahh,” You broke off into a whine when Kaji began to pull his softening cock from your tightness, his wound immediately forgotten as he moved his focus to the mess now seeping out of your trembling hole and drooling down your inner thighs. Kaji was quick to save the moisture as he collected it on his two fingers, dragging it back up to your abused sex to push it back inside you as you gasped in surprise. He was quick to move your panties back into place as you grimaced at the sensation of your combined essence soaking the fabric.
“I’ll be fine.” He teased when you gave his wound another look, “I’ve been through worse.”
“That’s not the point.” You deadpanned, watching as Kaji moved back slightly to tuck his softening cock back inside his skinny jeans. Your head rested back against the brick wall as you held onto his arms to prevent your legs from giving out and collapsing to the floor. His touch was gentle as he smoothed your skirt back down your thighs and adjusted your top that had ridden up during the tryst. Unable to stop himself from stealing another kiss from your pouty lips.
“How could I not be fine when I have you to look after me.” Kaji grinned as he bent down in front of you to pick the fallen sucker up from the ground, fingers working at tugging the wrapper off before shoving the stick between his lips.
“Yeah, well you owe me another date night.” You pouted as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders to lead you towards the local konbini. Practically feeling the warmth still radiating from him as he pulled you against his side.
“What’s wrong with going out now?” You turned your head to look up at him in exasperation as you scrunched your nose.
“You’re ridiculous— you realise you’re covered in blood and I’m now full of you,” You huffed, feeling the heat rise in your cheeks at the smug smirk Kaji gave you as you jabbed his chest with a firm finger, “We’re gonna grab some supplies from the konbini and I’m taking you home to fix it.”
“Sounds good, I need to pick up some more suckers—” He smiled, ignoring the throb that still ebbed through his head from the hits he’d endured barely an hour ago as he squeezed your shoulder playfully.
“Kaji!” You glared at the man beside you.
“Don’t call me that when I was just balls deep inside you five minutes ago, sweetheart.”
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willowsnook · 12 days ago
Text
When Love is Left Unspoken pt. 2 (MV)
max verstappen x reader
pt. 1 here
I could be talked into a pt. 3 if people want it
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It had been a week since the Austin GP and forgetting about what happened had been impossible mostly because Max would not leave you alone.
He didn't reach out directly, but every morning this week, you had woken up to a new gift outside your door. Flowers, chocolate, coffee, pastries, clothing, etc. You had no idea how he even knew your address.
You struggled with what to do. On one hand, you had missed your best friend for a long time. You missed the inside jokes, the comfort you found in him, and supporting one another. But on the other hand, you couldn't stop thinking about how he threw it all away because he was scared of loving you. You had never been scared of loving him, even if you never said. Well maybe that was hypocritical.
Saturday morning an envelope accompanied the box outside of your door. You opened the box first, revealing a vintage RedBull racing bomber jacket that cost who knows how much. It was cute, you'd give it that. Opening the envelope you froze as you read the letter that sat next to a paddock pass for the Brazil GP.
I know you hate me and you have a good reason to but I will do anything to have you back by my side even if you refuse to look at me. Please come to Brazil, I know it's your favorite track. You can stay on Checo's side of the garage if it makes you feel better.
Love, Your Max
Brazil was your favorite track and in the past you had always travelled down early to experience the culture for a bit before the racing started.
You facetimed Carmen, hoping to talk this through with someone else.
"Hey girl, what's up?" She asked, clearly in the middle of a workout.
"Oh, I can call later if you're busy," you said and she shook her head.
"No, it's okay!"
"Max invited me to the Brazilian GP," you told her slowly and her eyes widened.
"Wow."
"I know, I don't know what to do."
Carmen was silent for a little bit, clearly thinking. "Is there any part of you that wants to make up with him?"
"Yes," you admitted quietly. "But I hate myself for even thinking that. I don't want to just forget about everything that happened and take him back with open arms."
"I don't think you necessarily have to forget what happened but maybe focus on the people you both have grown to be in these last few years. Maybe treat it like you are starting over."
"So you think I should go?"
"Selfishly yes of course," she said grinning and you couldn't help but smile back. "You don't even have to spend time with him. Just see how it feels to be around him."
After hanging up with Carmen, you texted the number Max had given you for his assistant in order to get flights and a hotel figured out.
-----------------------------------
You landed in Brazil on media day and didn't plan on going to the track until Saturday. Max was pulling out all the stops even when he couldn't see you as evidenced by the ridiculously nice hotel he put you in. The view was amazing and laying on the bed was a variety of your favorite snacks and drinks with a card that read "I'm so glad you're here -your Max."
The 'Your Max' thing was working even though you hated to admit it. You spent the next two days traveling around the city by yourself and then with Carmen.
Saturday rolled around and you found yourself nervous to be at the paddock despite Carmen's constant reassurances. You hadn't seen Max yet and you weren't really sure what to say when you did.
Funny enough, the first person you ran into when you made it to the RedBull garage was Christian Horner.
"Y/n!" He said surprised to see you. "It's been a while, how are you? You know my wife is obsessed with your tik tok channel."
"Ahh tell her I said thank you," you replied kindly. "I've been doing well."
"We're glad to have you back," he said and your heart swelled. "It's been a rough year for him."
"I'm not sure I can change that," you said politely and he gave you a look.
"You just being here might," he commented before leaving you to go talk with the mechanics. You wandered around the garage, catching up with a lot of people you hadn't seen in a long time.
Max spotted you as he was coming out of his drivers' room and his heart stopped. Of course he knew you were in Brazil, but he still wasn't 100% sure you'd show up. He didn't think he should approach you so he just lingered by watching you. You felt him watching you and looked over at him, trying to control your breathing and gave him a small smile.
He smiled back before being called off to get ready for the sprint. Leaning against the back wall you pulled your headphones and settled in to watch. Max was doing pretty good, battling with Charles for most of the race. Your face appeared on the broadcast and you smiled to the camera, giving it a small wave.
After the race you checked your phone to see that you'd been tagged in countless tweets.
@.username12312: Was that y/n y/l/n in the RedBull garage? I thought her and Max had a falling out???
reply to @.usernam12312 @.user345: Yeah they haven't been friends for a long time. It had something to do with Kelly
reply to @.user345 @.username12312: oh yeah, you're right! I always liked y/n better anyways
You were amused reading the speculation and decided to stir the pot further. While Max was doing interviews you found Checo in the garage and asked him to take a picture with you. The confused man agreed and you quickly posted it to your Instagram story with the caption: My favorite RedBull driver, good luck tomorrow!
Carmen and Lily both slid up with laughing emojis and you walked back to Max's side, trying to avoid the rain. It was really coming down now and you weren't sure if they would even be able to go out on the track. You found Max a little while later sitting against the wall, legs sprawled out in front of him. You sunk down next to him, holding your knees into your chest.
"Think you'll be able to go out there today?" You asked casually and he looked over at you, clearly excited to hear you speaking to him.
"I would say probably not," he replied. "Maybe tomorrow morning."
"How much longer until we know?"
"Another half hour would be my guess," he said. "I can call for someone to take you back if you want to leave now?"
"No, I'll wait," you said looking down at your phone. You sat in silence for a while and the rain was starting to make you very sleepy. Losing the battle with yourself, you rested your head on Max's shoulder and he stiffened.
Max smiled to himself as you dozed off and the two of you caught the attention of the cameras, the photo soon to be splashed everywhere online. Quali was called off and Max nudged you awake, reaching out to help you up.
"Ride with me back?" He asked hopeful and you nodded. You ran into George and Carmen on the way out and she gave you a knowing look to which you rolled your eyes at.
"You guys should come out to dinner with us," George said. "We're meeting up with Alex and Lily too."
You hesitated, not wanting to miss out but at the same time your social battery was dead. You could only handle so much social interaction before you were craving your warm bed to snuggle into. You started to give in and agree but Max cut you off.
"I think y/n is done being around people for the day so I'm going to take her back."
You looked at him surprised and the realization that he still knew you so well just added more fire to the internal turmoil you were facing. Bidding them goodbye, you followed Max out of the paddock and into the car he had rented for the weekend. The car ride was silent as well as the elevator ride up to your floor.
Max followed close behind you as you made your way to your room and it was starting to irritate you.
"You don't need to walk me to my room Max," you said and he looked at your sheepishly.
"I'm in the one right next to you."
"Are you fucking serious?" You asked frustrated. "I need space Max!"
"I just want you to be safe," he defended and you rolled your eyes.
"From what?" You exclaimed. "Oh yeah, your girlfriend I mean ex-girlfriend is from here. Think she's sending people after me?"
"I don't think that's funny," he said, eyes darkening. "Sue me for wanting you close to me. I'm not going to apologize for that."
"You are the worst," you bit out before shoving into your room, slamming the door.
---------------------------------------
Stepping out of the steaming shower and back into the bedroom you glanced worriedly out the window. You wouldn't necessarily say that you had a fear of thunderstorms but they tended to make you uneasy.
Trying to distract yourself you put on South Park, your favorite show to watch in a hotel, but it didn't work. After a couple of booms you were still on edge. Sighing you got up and left your room, hoping a small walk around the hotel would ease your mind. By the time you made it back, Max was leaning against the wall by your door, waiting for you.
"Can't sleep?" He asked and you nodded.
"The storms."
"You always were scared of them," he teased and you scoffed.
"I'm not scared of them!" Right as you said that, a streak of lighting flashed by the hallway's window followed by a loud crash of thunder. You jumped a little and Max smirked.
"Come on," he said gesturing back to his room. You hesitated and he sighed. "We both know you won't fall asleep alone to this."
Giving in, you followed him into his room. It was a carbon copy of yours and you were amused to see South Park playing on his tv. He climbed into his bed but you stopped short; the scene in front of you reminded you of so many times before. When you traveled with him back in the day you'd often find yourself in his room at night hanging out. You always fell asleep and woke up in his arms, neither of you ever saying anything about it.
Max sat up in the bed looking at you, he knew what you were thinking.
"Y/n," he said softly as he watched you wipe a tear from your eye.
"This is so hard Max," you said, voice breaking. "How am I supposed to just forget?"
"I don't know," he confessed. "I'm sorry."
"It's not even like you broke my heart that day," you said meeting his eyes. "You had chipped away at it for so long that there wasn't even anything left to break."
Max's heart dropped and he moved over closer to where you were standing, so that you were now eye level.
"I was so scared back then y/n," he said and you put your head into your hands. "So scared of failing that I did things I shouldn't have done, like pushing you away to protect myself."
"Protect yourself from what?" You said, looking back at him.
"Your unconditional love," he said sadly and you tried to compose yourself, taking a deep breath.
"You acted like nothing happened, I watched you move on with your life," you accused, whispering to him.
"I did not move on, I was a mess. I couldn't eat or sleep for months and I latched on to you in whatever way I could through your videos or podcast. Every picture or video you saw of me was strictly PR."
"But you never reached out, not once in these past few years," you said, starting to grow angry with him.
"Neither did you!" He exclaimed.
"That's not fair Max," you retorted, moving away from him.
"Isn't it though? You accused me of moving on but I watched you do the same. I watched your popularity grow, watched you start to travel around the world, watched you post with other guys. You didn't need me to be happy."
"I needed my best friend!" You yelled and he flinched. "I needed you to be there to call when I got a new deal! I needed you to be there to lean on when I had self doubt! You ruined everything Max. I could never be truly happy celebrating something because in the back of my mind I was thinking about how you should have been there with me!"
Max squeezed his eyes shut, sitting down on the bed.
"I don't know how to fix this schatje," he whispered and you flinched at the term of endearment. "Everything has been so dark for so long. I am okay with you hating me forever. Because even if you just look at me, it'll be a better day than what I've had."
Sniffling, you stared into his red rimmed eyes. "I want to forget about you so badly Max but I can't."
He smiled softly at you before patting the bed.
"Please sleep here tonight, it will make me feel so much better knowing you were well rested. I'll sleep on the pull out couch," he said standing up.
"Just sleep in the bed with me," you said sighing, wiping the tears from your face before climbing into the bed. Max slid in next to you, leaving a healthy distance between the two of you and you drifted off to sleep.
The sound of his alarm woke you up at 4:30 and you groaned sleepily. Max's arms were wrapped tightly around you, his head buried in your hair as he refused to open his eyes.
"Max, you have to wake up," you said and he mumbled incoherently into you. You pried his hands off your body and stood up, stretching. He watched you lazily from the bed, wondering if this was a dream.
"I'm going to go get ready and then I'll meet you back in the hallway in 30 minutes okay?" You asked him and he nodded. Leaving his room you headed back into yours to get ready for the day. Your eyes were still a little swollen from last night but that was nothing a little makeup couldn't fix.
Pairing the new RedBull jacket with a black jeans you gathered all your stuff before texting Carmen about what had happened last night. All she responded was that we would discuss it in person and sent a winky face.
Max looked more awake standing out in the hallway and you both left for the track.
Qualifying was a mess to put it simply. Crash after crash after crash. It was spiking your anxiety to watch and you were just praying that Max would make it out unscathed. He did make it without crashing, but not without controversy.
You grew furious as you watched everyone in Q2 get to finish their laps following Lance's crash except for Max and Esteban. This made him miss out on Q3 for the first time in forever. You knew he was pissed when he got out of the car and his eyes met yours for a brief second. He talked to his engineers before grabbing your hand to drag you with him to over where he had to do interviews.
Standing behind the reporter you watched him try to contain his anger.
“If a guy goes straight into the wall, it is a straight red,” he said. “I don't understand why you need to take 30, 40 seconds for a red flag to come out...”
His voice was rising as he said it and both you and the reporter braced for the impact of whatever he was going to say next. He started to say something but then looked over at you and stopped himself, taking a deep breath before waving off the question.
“I don’t care in all honesty, it is so stupid to talk about. It’s ridiculous.”
He answered a couple more questions about the race happening later and you waited patiently. Christian came to join you and gave you a knowing look.
"I told you that being here would make things better," he said with a glint in his eyes. "I'm giving you credit for him avoiding more community service."
Things got even better after that with Max winning the Grand Prix in what you could only describe as a complete masterclass.
As the celebrations wrapped up, you and Max found yourselves alone in the quiet of the garage, both still processing the day's whirlwind. He glanced at you, a hesitant warmth in his gaze.
Max reached for your hand, gently holding it, as if afraid you'd slip away again. "I'm glad you came, I've needed you here for a long time."
"I'm still not sure where we stand Max," you said unsure of how to deal with what you were feeling.
"As long as your standing next to me, I'll be okay," he said cheekily and you smiled. You knew that your relationship had a long way to go but maybe, just maybe, it was finally starting again.
pt. 3
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kittyhui · 5 months ago
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exes to lovers! seungcheol x reader
!!MDNI!!
[seungcheol ended your five year long relationship seemingly out of nowhere, leaving you heartbroken. two years after your breakup, you release your solo album, song written about the heartbreak you felt. now, seungcheol is trying to get your love back]
cw: idol x idol, angst w/ comfort, semi public sex, not grammar checked well😭
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
“I think we should break up” is all Seungcheol says to you, sad in his eyes.
He walks out of your apartment, not staying to listen to your cries and pleads, asking for an explanation on why he was so suddenly doing this. He was a completely different person from the last time you saw him; his love-filled eyes replaced with cold and sad ones.
You tried to contact him multiple times after that; calls and messages never answered, leaving you and your heart shattered, your members having to pick up the pieces. A five year old relationship gone in a flash, without a reason, without even a thought of why. Did i do something wrong? Did he grow tired? Was there.. someone else? The situation hurt you so badly, that even fans could tell something was wrong. Your relationship was a secret from fans and from your company, save from the members. Your performance during promotions were off and it took you almost a full year to get back on your game, taking a hiatus at one time because it was just so bad. but you were feeling better now. It’s now past your two year breakup anniversary, and though you think about the good times of your old relationship, you weren’t consumed with grief anymore. You felt much better, better than ever. Better enough to release your first solo album, songs written from that time.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
[interviewer] So, What was the thought process behind this album?
[Y/N] All these songs are a part of a giant collection of songs while i was going through a lot of feelings haha. Most of these were my inner thoughts and feelings that I couldn't express to anyone else so I wrote them out. they’ve only now came out because I was finally confident in myself and these songs after years and my members helped build my courage to share them with you all.
[Interviewer] I’m happy that you were finally able to overcome your fears with your songs.
[Y/N] Thank you so much
[Interviewer] Do you think you could go more in depth about the song meanings?
[Y/n] Yea, of course. The first song on the album can be interpreted in multiple ways in my opinion. When I wrote this, I was thinking about someone I loved truly. I wrote this wishing that the way they ended it could’ve been that we just fell out of love. I wanted us to be tired of each other, to just want it to be over and so I wrote this point of view wishing this was the reality, even though I knew how much I still loved them. It’s very sad and kinda pathetic but yea haha.
For the second track, I wrote this because in this same relationship, the way we broke up was so rushed and I was not ready for it. I felt like they didn’t even feel anything towards me anymore and it broke me down so much. By the end of the song, I kinda accept it as the end and try to let them go.
Ah~ This third track was actually wrote when i was first in that relationship. We were both falling hard and fast and I had to let it out in a way. I can’t really explain more.
[Interviewer] And lastly, the fully english track?
[Y/N] This one really talks about how even if I’ll be in another relationship in the future, I’ll only think about and try to find them in the other person. I wrote this the latest out of all of them. I knew I was still in love with this person even though it’s been years since the breakup but I know I’ll always see them as my first and only love even if they don’t see me the same way.
[Interviewer] These are all truly beautiful songs
[Y/N] Thank you
[Interviewer] We just have a few more questions before we say goodbye today. Firstly, You said these songs were in a collection of other songs, will you release the rest of them as well?
[Y/N] Maybe, I’m surprised I got away making this album so hopefully I can push my companies limits a tad more.
[Interviewer] Next question, This relationship you sing about seemed really intense. Was it a long one?
[Y/N] Yea, It dont think I can go into too many details but it was a pretty serious relationship. When it ended, I took it very hard. I liked them for a long time before too so it was rough haha
[Interviewer] Last question, Because you produce and write songs for your group, Have you ever wrote about this relationship in those songs?
[Y/N] Honestly I couldn’t tell you. I try not to because I’m still not the best about this relationship I was in but it’s probably slipped in a few songs unfortunately haha
[Interviewer] Thank you so much for coming onto my show today!
[Y/N] I’m honored to be asked here for an interview, thank you. I’d also like to say thank you to my fans and anyone else who is listening in! Please enjoy my new album!
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
Needless to say, your interview was seen by alot of people. Neitzens have been picking it apart since it came out, speculating on the mystery person you were talking about. Your fans were both happy for you and angry for you; ready to fight the person who broke your heart. Though the publicity was great for your album sales and streams, the constant news was really tiring now, especially now that you were promoting at music shows. Music shows that your ex, S.Coups of Seventeen, was also promoting at with his group. Singing a song about your heartbreak in the same place of the person who hurt you so bad, was awkward to say the least. The waiting room of the music show was the worst. passing by him and his group makes your heart pound. His eyes follow you when you pass by each other. you try not to meet his eyes. Your heart just couldn’t handle it. Your still wanted him yet you hated him at the same time. You wanted to kiss him again but also wanted to hit him. The last conversation you both had together was him breaking up with you. He hurt you so badly yet you yearned for him.
So when he approached you before your performance, you felt conflicted.
“Y/n?” The familiar voice fills your ears and you look up at the man standing infront of your sitting figure.
“Seungcheol? What are you doing” You didn’t actually think he would speak to you again, but here he was.
“Can we- can we talk?” He pauses, licking his lips nervously “I know you probably never want to speak to me ever again but I just want a second of your time.”
“You really have horrible timing. I going on stage in a few minutes. Please don’t do this now. You had two years to talk about this,” You look away from his, glancing to the side “We can talk.. after the music show is over. Don’t expect too much, though” You stand and walk to the stairs of the stage and he sighs, agreeing to meet later on.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
The music show ends entirely too quickly for your liking, leg bouncing nervously in your dressing room and when you hear a knock at the door you know it’s Seungcheol. You open the door, the man in front of you quickly walking in and closing the door again.
“Y/n..” He sighs
“Seungcheol,” You try to sound disinterested but inside you just want to hug him. “Please just say what you have to say”
“I just want to say I’m so sorry for the way I ended things. I know I hurt you beyond belief and it hurts that I hurt you. I watched your interview and.. god.. I care about you so much.. I never wanted to break up with you but I had to..” His eyes brim with tears and he lets out a haggard breath.
“Then why did you? Five years, Seungcheol. I loved you for five years, hell, I still love you after what you did, but, just why? I felt like I wasted all those years for nothing. I want to marry you… I wanted to have everything with you.. You were my first everything and you hurt me like I was nothing..” You were choking on your tears at this point, the salty liquid pooling in you lips “You were more than just a boyfriend to me, Seungcheol. You were the love of my life.”
“Y/n.. I.. I didn’t break up because I wanted to.. your company found out.. they threatened your career if I didn’t break up with you.. I tried to convince them to let us be, but they were persistent and my company was pressuring me as well.. I shouldve fought for you more.. I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you what was happening but… I was a coward. I never stopped loving you, y/n.. You’re the love of my life too. I had every intention of being with you until the day I died, and I want to fight for you now even though I didn’t before.”
The shock of what he said lingers in your mind. You look at him without saying anything. He sat down next to you, letting you process his words. After some time you finally spoke.
“I dont know what to say,” You start “I believe you even though that means my company did this too me but.. I dont know. I want to forgive you. I want you, Cheol. I want you to be in my life again. but it took me so long to recover from this. I dont know if we’ll ever be what we were before,” He looks down at his feet in defeat “But we can try..” He looks up at you again, eyes brightening.
He finally smiles, “You dont understand how badly I missed you…” He hugs you tightly before looking into your eyes and then looking down at your lips “can I..” You nod slowly, waiting for his lips to touch yours.
He kisses your lips with hunger, holding on to you for fear you might run away “Missed you.. Misses your touch.. ‘m so sorry, my love” He pushes you flat on the couch you were sitting on, kissing you face and neck with desire. He missed this so much. “I love you, baby. Please let me make you feel good.. Love you..” You whine at his words, hips grinding up at his.
“l-love you too, Cheolie.. Please.. Need you so bad” Your hands move up and down his clothed back. “Please..missed you too” He kisses you quickly, breaking away to remove the both of your clothes.
“Just a gorgeous as I remember,” He mutters under his breath. You can feel his hard member on your stomach, moaning at the anticipation of having him after so long. “Need to be inside you so bad, baby”
“mhm please, cheolie..“ You pull him closer, begging him to do anything.
“shhh, ill take care of you, baby.” he coos at you, finally pushing in, “shit- so tight.. you feel so good baby” he brushes the hairs out of your face, kissing your forehead gently. “So good for me, my love”
“Please move- Please I need it. Cheolie- Needed this so bad” You sob as he finally starts to roll his hips into yours, groans falling from his mouth.
“God- y-you’re too good, baby. Am I making you feel good, hm?” He fucks into you faster, rougher, breathlessly calling out your name into your ear.
“yes yes makin’ me feel so good- gonna cum soon” You hips rut into his, determined to make both of you cum.
“b-baby” He pushes your hips back into the couch, “Be good- i’ll let you cum, promise…” He breathes out hot breath, eyes blown wide as he pounds into you; your heat sucking him in dangerously. “Cum for me please, need you to cum, baby.”
Your desperation for each other was unmatched and you were sure that the people walking past your dressing room can hear the obscene noises coming from it, but you could care less. The pleads for more came out if your mouth like a ritual and Seungcheol knew you were close. One of his hands grip your own, telling you to cum, and what else can you do when his cock twitches inside of you so deliciously. You cry out his name once more before cumming hard. Feeling you pulse around him, he fills you up with spurts of his hot cum in you. “Fuck, did you so good, my love. I love you so much” He breathes out, pecking your lips once again.
You look into his eyes, dazed, and welling with tears again. His happy demeanor changes ones again. “Hey. Hey, Y/n. What’s wrong? Did i do something?” He looks you up and down, checking for injuries. Making sure he didn’t fuck this up again.
“No- i just- i just missed you so much, Cheolie,” you cry out. “Love you so much..” His arms are around you before you can even say another word. He murmurs I love you’s into your ears, kissing the tears rolling down your face.
“I love you too, baby. let’s go home hm?”
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
a/n: these are the songs i used as reference for the solo album songs:
1. Can’t Love You Anymore - IU
2. Goodbye - OOHYO
3. Fallin’ - Yoon Hyun Sang
4. Glimpse of Us - Joji
this was so spur of the moment #loveit
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berryz-writes · 5 months ago
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It's always going to be you
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Summary: You and Azriel spend less time with each other and soon it seems he spends more time with Elain- apologising and fluff
Azriel x reader
I watched, holding my breath as Elain let out a small laugh at something Azriel said, her hand coming up to rest on his arm. Did she need to do that? No, she probably didn't. But I let it go because she was getting better now. Her smiles were more frequent and if she found my mate funny then fine. I wouldn't be jealous about it.
Another week later and Elain and Azriel were walking the streets of Velaris. I had paused in my tracks to watch them, their heads bent together talking about something important it seemed. It felt like I hadn't gone shopping with Az in so long let alone have a nice conversation that lasted longer than a minute. They seemed comfortable together. Fine. As long as they were both happy there was no reason for me to jump to conclusions.
It was game night and Elain and Azriel had paired up. Yes, they were playing chess against each other but they chose each other and left me on the side lines, merely part of the audience. I wasn't even give a second glance. "Y/n? Aren't you going to play?" Cassian asked from where he was sat on the sofa, one arm around Nesta the other holding a glass of wine.
I shook my head "I'm tired. Maybe next time" I turned to look back at Azriel because like usual I was drawn to him. It seemed he was unaffected by our bond now because he hadn't even looked at me once throughout the entire day. The longer I stared the harder it was to fight back tears. I stood up and mumbled an excuse to leave, Nesta being the only one who listened to my made up excuse. I walked out the house and rubbed my hands together, my feet taking me to the bench I had sat on so many times. Luckily I was smart enough to grab hold of a thick shawl before leaving. The Sidra was as beautiful as always, lights glowing around the area, Fae spilling out of different bars across the street.
I pulled the shawl closer to me and tried to enjoy the sight in front of me rather than my mind going back to things I didn't want to think about.
Where are you?
Y/n? Are you okay? Where are you? Tell me where you are.
Sweetheart please. Are you allright?
Azriel's voice, panicked and full of fear in my mind. The spiteful thing to do would be to ignore him and build a barrier between the both of us but because I was never able to see or hear Azriel worry for so long I replied with
I'm fine
I went home for the night, enjoy yourself
I blocked him out. I didn't want to think about anything right now. I wasn't in the mood to talk to him.
Of course if someone asked if I still loved him I would have replied with a "yes" in a heartbeat. Maybe we just needed space. Or maybe I was being dramatic. It's not as if I had walked in on them kissing or something.
"Fancy seeing you here, y/n" Someone said. I had to blink away my sleepiness and try and find the source of the voice. It was Keller. A friend who I usually had lunch with when I was in town or needed someone to help me translate a piece of text.
I gave him a warm smile, his blonde almost silver hair shining in the street lamps.
"Is there a seat free?" He gestured next to me at the empty bench but before I could answer a loud thud was heard behind me and without having to turn around I could tell who it was. He must have hidden his scent because otherwise I would have known he was coming this way earlier.
"Apologies, but the seats taken. You should get going now" Azriel's voice was tight and full of anger, one wrong answer from Keller would result in things that were too gruesome too think of.
Still, he hesitated, looking between me and Azriel who was behind me and probably sending daggers at him.
"I'll see you tomorrow. Have a nice night" I gave him an awkward smile, trying to reassure him.
"Right. Enjoy your time." And with a nod "Shadowsinger" He walked away soon disappearing behind a corner. I didn't bother turning around and instead waited for Azriel to show himself. His footsteps were light as his form came into view, blocking the scene of the Sidra. He stood there for a good minute or so evaluating every inch of me with his piercing eyes. His shadows moved away from him, coming to brush against me as if they were checking if I was ok as well.
"Are you all right? Your not hurt are you?" His voice was soft, a great contrast to the tone he was using with Keller a second ago.
I sighed "Physically, yes"
He took this as a chance to sit down next to me, making sure there was a small distance between us. As if he wasn't sure what I wanted. I wasn't sure either. I wanted space but I also wanted him to wrap his arms around me and tell me everything would be alright.
"I didn't know what happened to you. I thought you had been taken. I thought I wouldn't see you again" Azriel's voice was quiet and almost broken in a way. I turned to look at him, to see if he was the same Azriel as a few weeks ago.
"What's happened to us?" I asked. I didn't know either but there was one thing I knew and that was something had changed.
As soon as the words escaped me, Azriel froze. His breathing coming to a stop and his eyes focused completely on me and my breathing. For the first time in my life I heard him stumble over his words "what...what do you mean?" He asked, his voice so quiet and full of worry. His shadows paused their constant movement around me and froze as well, their touch now cold.
I wrapped my arms around me, the shawl suddenly not doing much to block the cold out properly "Don't you feel as if we've grown apart? Like...maybe we aren't as close as we used to be?"
I couldn't look at him while saying that. Instead I let my head fall back so I could look at the comforting sight of the stars. Something that was always there. I felt a slight shift to my right where Azriel moved closer to me, his wings coming to wrap around me.
I looked at him, opening my mouth to thank him for the warmth but before I could say anything his shaky voice interrupted me "I love you. I will always love you. I am so sorry you felt as if I wasn't giving you enough time. I know you deserve more than I could ever-"
I put my hand up to stop him "It's not about that. It's about you always being with Elain. Tell me, Azriel. How long has it been since we've been shopping together? How long has it been since you've come home when I'm not asleep because it's the middle of the night? How long will this go on? This back and forth of me waiting for you while you go off with Elain doing who knows what"
I felt his heart beat increase with every word I said and as I let it all out I felt full of guilt. I was being irrational and dramatic. And Azriel didn't deserve it. We had been through so much and I was complaining about him not spending time with me
"sorry. I didn't mean that. I just...got carried away" I looked away from him. He looked heartbroken and I had done that to him.
A silent minute passed before Azriel broke it by picking me up and winnowing us to his room
"what? what are you doing?" I asked, disoriented from the winnowing. I sat on his bed, trying to get used to the soft lighting in his room.
He sat next to me and held my hands in his, warmth seeping through me "I could never cheat on you, sweetheart. I'd rather shred my wings than hurt you. You understand that...don't you? There is nothing between me and Elain and there never will be. I'm sorry you felt that way" He pressed a kiss to my hand, his eyes golden in the light. The way he looked at me made me think, how could I have doubted him?
"I know you aren't cheating. Of course I know that but why does it feel like you spend more time with her than me?" I ask quietly, afraid of the answer. Maybe it's because I've become boring now after all these years.
"My love, your the one who told me to help her. You told me spend time with her because she seemed to like my company. I did it for you, sweetheart. Don't you think I'd rather spend my time with my beautiful mate?"
His hand moved up to cup my cheek, brushing away a tear that had escaped. "It's always going to be you."
I leaned into his comforting warmth and let my doubts and fears wash away. "I'm sorry for doubting you, Az"
"you had every right to" He mumbled back, his arms now encircling me completely. I felt safe and wanted in his arms, like nothing could ever go wrong.
(KEEP IN MIND I LOVE ELAIN EVERYONE. my personal opinion is she should end up with lucien)- as usual not proof read
MASTERLIST
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disneyprincemuke · 1 year ago
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best years * fem!driver
growing up in a predominantly male environment, she only ever had two friends she could count on. this is what it was like growing up with oscar and logan.
pairings: oscar piastri x fem!driver, logan sargeant x fem!driver
warnings: -
notes: this was so hard to write for no reason
(series masterlist) | (📂 pre-formula 1)
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2013
she leans against the wall behind her, fingers nervously picking at the skin around her nails. she’s the only girl in yet another karting race.
around her are countless boys excitedly greeting their friends, some of whom they have not seen in months from the long break. they would only spare her a quick glance before forming their own circles and talking amongst themselves.
she simply sighs and fishes for her phone in her back pocket. she will just pretend to text blythe, who is all the way back home, hours from where she is.
sure, she had plenty of girl friends from karting when she was growing up. but amidst puberty and coming into their own, her friends had simply moved on to other hobbies and interests — one that didn’t involve pouring your heart and soul onto the race track.
so there she stands, all by herself in the corner.
she feels a presence next to her, prompting her to lift her head. there stands a boy with sandy brown hair and his arms folded over his chest. who she will come to later know as oscar. but not just yet.
beside him is another boy, bright blue eyes with dirty blonde hair. they’re engaged in a conversation, paying no mind to the girl sending several messages to her younger sister without a response.
“okay, gather up, please!”
she would wind up making it into the top 30 that race.
“hey, you made it into top 30!” her mother engulfs her in a tight hug and sways side by side. “i’m so proud of you! you did so well!”
“thank you,” she giggles, pulling back slightly to catch some air. her hand reaches around the older woman’s body to wipe the sweat from her top lip. “are we still getting pizza after this?”
her father laughs, throwing his head back. “you never forget a promise, kid.”
“of course!” she cheers, jumping up as she claps her hands. “can i get a hawaiian pizza?”
“absolutely,” her mother beams, squeezing her on the chin followed by another hug.
she sighs and throws her head back, appreciating the sun that barely burns her skin. she scratches her head and gathers up her hair to pull it into a ponytail.
looking around, she locks eyes with somebody — the same boy from earlier with the sandy brown hair. he’s got the most charming smile, sending it her way along with a thumbs up.
blood rushes to her cheeks as she returns him a thumbs up and a courteous nod.
then he turns away, whisked away by his parents.
2014
“you’re only saying that cause i beat you on the track again,” she answers nonchalantly with an eyeroll. she folds her arms over her chest, scanning the boy head to toe. “it’s okay to lose to girls sometimes. it’s rare, i know, yet here i am.”
“an absolute fluke,” the boy scoffs at her, cheeks red in frustration and fists clenched by his side. “my dad says there’s no space for girls on the racetrack.”
“oh, really? say that to my top 10 finish and you barely making the cut,” she spits, anger lacing every word. “loser.”
his jaw drops. “hey, take that back!”
“bite me,” she grins, “you loser.”
his arm is barely able to land a hit on her shoulder when he stumbles back, a bigger figure blocking her from the frustrated kid. she barely flinched, now shocked at the something that separated her from a minor injury.
“hey, piss off, will you?”
“whatever, dude.”
her saving grace turns around, a small welcoming smile on his face. it’s someone she recognises — slowly becoming a familiar face for her every time she’s on for a karting race. “are you alright?”
she huffs, her fists now clenched by her side. “i had that covered. i didn’t need your help.”
he gives her a tired stare, obviously not biting into her words to be edged towards an apology. he just smiles again. “i know, but i thought i’d end it before a fight happened.”
“what if that’s exactly what i wanted?” she asks, an eyebrow raised as her hands rests on her hips. “you don’t know that.”
“don’t bother,” he chuckles, glancing at the ground before lifting his head to look at her again. “‘grats on the top 10 finish today.”
she narrows her eyes down. “thank you.”
“oscar, by the way,” he says again, hand stretched out toward her.
“(y/n),” she nods at him with a forced smile. she drops both of their hands. “you’re tough to race, oscar. sometimes i just wanna crash into you with my kart.”
“i get that a lot, thank you,” he grins. he points behind her, prompting her to turn around. “the blonde over there’s my friend. that’s logan.”
she nods. “i’ve seen you guys together a couple of times.”
“we go to school together.” oscar pauses. “hey, logan! come over here!”
the blonde, logan, whirls around and jogs over to them without a question. he approaches them with a grin. “oh, hey! you’re the one that passed me earlier! you’re quick.”
“thank you, i like making boys cry.”
“i never said you made me cry.”
“you may as well have.”
“maybe next race if you can do it again.”
“oh, i’ll bet on that!” she grins, giving him a knowing stare.
logan smiles down at her. “we’re going to get pizza after this. do you want to join oscar and i?”
and the rest is history, as they say.
2015
"get off your homework, man," she groans, dragging her feet to where oscar sits on her table. she shakes the boy lightly, but not enough to mess up what he's writing, and pops her head to his side. "i'm itching to go get ice cream."
"let me finish my homework. my mum will kill me," oscar sighs, attempting to wave off the girl from him. "give me like 15 more minutes."
"you said that 1 hour ago," logan says, words muffled by the pillow he's got his face smushed up against. "i'm hungry, dude."
a knock lands on the door before it creaks open, turning the heads of two of three people who rest in her bedroom.
"dalton, dude!" logan grins, patting the empty spot on the bed next to him. "you're home! how was school?"
"i learned math today," the young boy excitedly answers, running over to the american with a giddy grin on his face. he jumps onto the bed, only to be promptly pulled away by his older sister.
"i told you to learn how to knock, dalton," she says in a tired voice. "and take off your shoes before coming into my room. remember?"
dalton looks up at her, wide eyes and lips parted as he tries to remember her words. he nods, bending down to tear off the velcro from his shoes. "i'm sorry, (y/n)."
"that's okay," she smiles, patting his head. "just don't do it again, okay?"
he nods, before hurriedly jumping onto the bed. this time, logan has the blankets up before engulfing the small kid under it with a bear hug. "what kind of math did you learn today?"
"addition," dalton mutters. he turns to look at oscar, who has yet to acknowledge his presence. "oscar."
"hi, dalton," he mutters, head resting in his palm as he focuses on the paper in front of him. "give me a minute, kid. i'll talk to you later, okay?"
"not okay," dalton huffs, arms folded over his chest. he leans into logan's knees and drops his head on the mattress. "i'm hungry, (y/n)."
she grins. "we've got to wait for oscar to finish his homework before we can go get food."
oscar sighs. he drops his pen on the table, turning around to face the room. "i guess i can take a break."
he gives her a knowing grin, rolling his eyes when she proudly smiles at him. he's always had a soft spot for dalton, the small boy filling up the sibling-shaped hole in his heart. "what do you feel like having, kid? ice cream?"
the young boy jumps on logan, prompting the loudest yelp to pass his lips. his arms wrap around dalton as they roll off the bed. logan launches him in the air and catches him immediately, a loud giggle bouncing off the walls of the girl's bedroom.
"i want spaghetti!" dalton cheers. "but you have to make it for us, oscar!"
oscar sighs again. he drops his head. "okay, i'll make some spaghetti."
2016
"happy birthday, (y/n)!" the door swings open, hitting the wall with a thud.
immediately, the girl shoots up from her bed, hair a mess with both of her eyes still closed. "man, what the fuck!"
she rubs her eyes, only to be met by the smug grins of her friends as they saunter into her bedroom with cake in logan's hands and two wrapped boxes in oscar's.
"we said happy birthday," logan says through gritted teeth, "say thank you."
"what time is it?" she groans, pulling the blanket up to her stomach. "isn't it a little too early for you to be terrorising me?"
"1pm is not early," oscar shakes his head in disappointment. "i texted you to be ready by 1! we're catching a movie, remember? we're supposed to go catch mockingjay in theatres."
she frowns. "i'm sorry. i went out with my girls last night," she explains, slowly moving to the edge of her bed. "i can be ready in 15 minutes."
logan holds the cake to her face. "enough yapping. the candle's about 5 seconds from merging with the cake i spent so hard to find," he sighs. "make a wish, scrub."
she looks up at them, daggers thrown just through her glare. she blows out the flame as her two friends cheer softly for her, oscar clapping before patting her shoulder. "okay, let's go catch our movie."
she holds her hands out to the boxes in his hands. "presents first."
2017
"hey, where are you?" oscar's face fills up her phone screen, eyebrows furrowed as he navigates the crowd in the mall. "are you not coming early for the race?"
she bites down on her lip and looks down, briefly avoiding oscar's stare. "i'll still be coming. just not so soon."
"what?" oscar's voice squeaks in disbelief, truly not believing what he's hearing from his friend. "but we always get ice cream before the race. why didn't you tell us you were ditching?"
"it was last minute, i'm sorry," she frowns, glancing at the boy standing next to her. "i'll just see you guys there."
oscar's face immediately drops. "oh, you're with your boyfriend?"
she rolls her eyes. "yes, but i'll still be there for the race. what's the big deal?"
oscar shrugs. "nothing, mate. i'll just see you on the track, (y/n)."
"hey, what is your problem?" she calls out, head tilting at his sudden coldness. "i've got other people to be with besides you and logan, you know. i have other friends too."
"friends, maybe i understand. but this guy?" he chuckles, rubbing his chin as he tries to sympathise with her. he really tries, but it's difficult when the older boy has made his best friend's life miserable in the past 3 months and she's done is defend him.
"mate, come on. be serious. he won't stick around forever - he's a guy."
"you're a guy."
"and i've never ditched you for a girl, have i?"
"i'd understand if you did."
"well, i'm not flakey," oscar spits at her, glaring at her through the camera on his phone. "i'll see you later."
his face disappears, the home screen of her phone now the only thing staring at her with the silence in her living room. she sighs and drops her phone onto the couch next to her.
"you alright, babe?"
she nods weakly, but her heart races in her chest. she's always been very headstrong and stubborn with oscar, but this was the first time he's ever shown a sign of frustration with her.
as deadpan as he usually is, her chest weighs down on the implication this young relationship could have on a friendship that's been going on for years.
"yeah, i'm fine."
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"it sucks, i know," logan sighs, patting her head. he's leaned back against the wall, sitting up as she cried into his chest. "we're only 16 - this won't be the last guy you'll be with."
this only made the girl cry harder into his chest. truthfully, he's got no idea what to do. comforting crying people has never been his forte; being more on the sensitive end himself.
"i'll beat him up, though, if you'd like," logan offers lightheartedly. this is progress, at least, cause it made her giggle for a second before she resumed her sobs. "i can take him in a fight."
"don't do that," she laughs through her tears, "yet."
"i'll even take oscar with me."
"no... oscar's mad at me."
"he's not mad at you, (y/n)."
"but i told you that fucker was no good," an australian accent falls upon the room, making her lift her tear-stained face up to look at him. "i hate to be the one to say that to you."
"fuck off," she sobs, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "i already feel like shit."
oscar nods, but he does sit on her other side. sandwiched by the two guys, oscar just fishes for something from his bag. presented to them, three separate pints of ice cream with spoons.
she smiles, passing down the other pint to logan. but she doesn't say anything to the australian who's already opened up his share and has started eating.
she just presses her back to the wall behind her and looks ahead. she digs her spoon into the dessert. "i saw logan with a girl in the hallway the other day."
"hey, what the hell!"
2018
she holds up her phone, grinning to herself as she takes a video. she runs over to the boy zipping up his race suit. "oh, my god! it's logan sargeant, sir! can i have a couple seconds of your time for an interview?"
"(y/n), you made it!" he laughs, wrapping his arms around the smaller girl. "oscar should be around here somewhere."
"i wouldn't miss your first race, of course," she states matter-of-factly with an eye roll. she squeezes his side and leans in as he presses his lips to her cheek. she puts her phone into her pocket. "i'm always your biggest fan."
"you're the president of my fan club, right?" his eyes light up, teasing her as he rests his arm on her shoulder. "i wouldn't accept my fan club if it wasn't you running it."
she shrugs. "maybe, but i'm gonna need you to set me up on a date with max fewtrell."
"i thought you wanted to go out with charles leclerc?"
"he's got a girlfriend."
"i think max has got a girlfriend too," logan chuckles, simply amused by her presence. "tough luck, dude."
"man, i might just die an old maid," she drops her head with a frown.
"oi, what are you doing? the race is about to start," oscar scolds, hands held out as he scolds his friends. he looks at her, eyeing her up and down once more. "you're not dressed yet! it's your first race in a car. let's go, mate!"
"i didn't wanna seem so excited," she shrugs, "i don't know."
"well, there won't be a race if you're not dressed in your race suit, idiot," oscar scolds, pushing her towards the further end of the garages. "come on, i have to beat you again today. my race won't be complete if i don't."
"absolute bitch," she mutters, glaring at the two boys as she walks away. "i'll see you guys on the track - remember to look in your rearview mirror for me."
2019
the three sit in a circle, on her carpeted floor once more. "i'm sorry you didn't get a seat in f3, (y/n)," logan sighs, dropping his head in disappointment. "i can't believe it."
"it's okay." she leans back on her bed and sighs, dropping her head as well. she lifts it up again with a forced smile. "i'll watch you guys all the time, i swear. i'll be your biggest fan."
oscar shakes his head. "you'll get a seat. the season hasn't started yet - someone will pick you up."
she frowns, putting her hand on oscar's knee. "it's okay, oscar," she says softly.
how touching is it to have friends who care about your progression in a sport where you're meant to be selfish?
"you deserve a seat more than anyone i know," he sighs, pulling his legs up into his chest. he rests his chin on his knee. "it's not fair. they're overlooking you. you're so good on the track."
"not better than you, though," she jokes.
he looks at her from the side of his eye. his disappointment never leaves, "you could wind up being better than me. come on."
"there's not a lot of space for girls like me in a sport like this," she smiles slightly, squeezing his knee. "it's okay. i'll be at every single race cheering for both of you. i promise."
oscar furrows his eyebrows, still shaking his head. he's got 3 sisters - he'd be bummed if they were to pour their heart and soul into something and not have the same opportunities.
if he could, he'd simply flip the world upside down.
"don't give up, okay?" he moves his head, now cheek on his chin as he looks at the girl with hopeful eyes. "promise me - you'll be in an f1 car someday with us on tv. racing it out in the pinnacle of motorsport."
"obviously," she grins. "i won't ever let logan beat me."
"now, this is why you didn't get a seat, dude," logan jokes, exchanging a smack on the knee with the girl. "fix your attitude."
"i bet you're glad that i didn't get a seat - i'd beat you over and over in an f3 track."
"you'd have to get a seat to prove that, (y/n)."
2020
"i got you the seat!" oscar jumps onto her bed, grinning ear to ear. he squeezes the girl on her laptop, her head craned slightly to look at him. "you're going to be in formula 3!"
"what did you say?"
"you're going to be racing in formula 3 for the 2020 season, you idiot!" he screams, taking the laptop from her thighs. he closes it gently and puts it down on the ground. "dude, catch up faster!"
her eyes widen as the gears in her head slowly process what the australian has just bestowed upon her ears. her nose scrunched as a piercing scream slowly erupts from her mouth.
she stands on her knees on her bed, holding oscar's arms. "if this is a prank, i'm going to turn you into pastry!"
"it's not, i got you the seat in formula 3!" he screams, shaking her vigorously, jumping on her bed. "dude, you're a step closer to formula 1! i told you to never give up!"
"what do you mean, i never stopped racing!" she says amidst her screams, shaking oscar back as the adrenaline starts to pump through her veins. "i cannot believe it! i'm going to be in a formula 3 car!"
"yeah!" oscar jumps off his bed. "come on, let's go get drinks with logan! he's coming over with a couple of beers!"
she hops off the bed, her body going into his. they stumble back a couple of steps, oscar's back hitting the door with a thud. "dude, we can't just celebrate with a couple of beers. let's go to the club!" she shrieks, smacking his chest.
oscar tilts his head, lips pressed together. "are you sure? you're kind of uncontrollable in the club..."
"yeah, but i have the right to be tonight!" she rolls her eyes, "i just got promoted to formula 3!"
2021
"this formula 2 crap is easy," she mutters, taking her helmet off her head. she trudges towards the two in the red race suits, her balaclava also flinging off her head. "come on, oscar."
"oh, shut up," oscar laughs, wrapping an arm around her. "good job beating me for the first time."
"i made it my life's mission, actually," she whispers, dropping her head. she smiles, throwing her head back to look up at her two friends. "god, this feels amazing!"
"oh, i owe you 50, don't i?" logan frowns at oscar, hands on his hips. "i can't believe she beat you before the season ended. you growin' soft, piastri?"
"i just thought i should let her have one glimpse at beating me before i proceed to do it the rest of our lives," oscar snorts with a smug grin as he looks down at her. "feel it while you can, (y/n)."
she frowns up at him. "i'll beat you for real someday, pastry. i've done it once today, and i'll do it again."
he nods with a proud smile. "don't let that fire go out, dude."
2022
"oh, hold the front door!" she screams into the phone, turning around to smack oscar's shoulder. oscar, who was sitting quietly on her dining table, eating the spaghetti he's prepared for her household. "are you joking, mate?"
logan tilts his head at oscar, only receiving a similarly confused shrug from the australian boy. they both glance at her, confused, at her sudden scream amidst their dinner debrief after having not seen each other for a couple of weeks.
"there's no way! sebastian vettel said that about me?" she screams, smacking oscar's shoulder again.
"oh, you're kidding!" oscar grunts, smacking her hand from his shoulder. she doesn't react towards him, just jumps away to her living room with the phone still on her ear.
"you reckon she's scored a dinner with sebastian vettel with that reaction?" logan teases softly, pointing at the girl rambling away on the phone. "i've got my money on that."
oscar shakes his head. "maybe lewis hamilton through sebastian vettel."
they hear her heavy footsteps approaching the dining area. she simply drops her phone to the smaller table next to her, coming in slightly paler than they'd last seen of her a few seconds prior.
her lips slowly creep and spread into a grin. "i've been promoted to formula 1," she says breathily, her hand coming up to rest on the door frame behind her. she takes another deep breath. "sebastian's going to be race engineer in the 2023 season."
and all hell broke loose in the dining area that night.
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taglist: @wcnorris @treehouse-mouse @laura-naruto-fan1998 @mindless-rock @inejismywife @vellicora @leilanixx @meadhbhcavanagh @2bormaybenot @ironmaiden1313 @angsthology
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toppersjeep · 6 months ago
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But I Love Him- Lando Norris
Masterlist
Summary: You work at McLaren with Lando. You are his race strategist. You used to be in a relationship before he ended it because of all the hate you were receiving. One day you see him bring another girl to the races. And it upsets you. So you decide to take matters into your own hands and talk to this girl.
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Your POV
Lando had arrived late at the paddock with some blonde girl. Of course she was beautiful. But I knew she had a reputation. But why would he care as long as he had someone by his side. I knew he was just needy. He was that way when we were together.
She walked into the garage and sat away from everyone. Lando walked over to me. Putting a hand on my back. Standing beside me. There it was butterflies like it used to be.
“What’s the plan for today Y/N” Lando said looking at my laptop. “Uhhhh well same as usual you know” I said his hand went lower. But why?? We aren’t together anymore. “That’s good” he said overlooking it. “Yeah just changed a couple things you’ll be on softs first” I said.
“Alright” Lando said with his arm around me. “You need anything else” I said. “Uhhhh no but I’m glad to have my lucky charm here today” Lando said. “Me really or Oscar” I said he laughed. “You of course” Lando said I smiled. “You look nice” I said fixing his color.
“It’s just my racing suit” Lando said. “Papaya brings out your eyes” I said. “Ah” Lando said blushing. “Beautiful blue eyes” I said. “Well I should get ready thank you Y/N” Lando said. “I got you” I said.
I walked around the garage when the girl he brought scoffed at me. I stopped in my tracks.
“Problem Maugi” I said. “Oh she knows my name” she said rolling her eyes. “Yeah I know who you are” I said. “Don’t you have a job to do” she said. “You know.. you are no good for him” I said. “Don’t care what you think he dumped you” she said laughing.
“And?? At least I’ve never cheated on my partners” I said. “You don’t deserve someone as amazing as Lando” I said. “You truly have no idea how special he is” I said. “I don’t care that he dumped me he did because he was protecting me” I said.
“So what” she said crossing her arms. “You don’t even deserve to be in the same room as him” I said. “You know what I think you are jealous” she said. “Why would I be jealous of someone like you? Sure you are pretty girl but you’ll always be mean” I said she stayed silent.
“You will never ever know him the way I do or love him the way I do” I said. “He dated you for what ten months get over it” Maugi said. “Just stop” Lando said walking over. “Lando” I said. “Not you her” Lando said as she looked at him. “But she started it” Maugi said. “No she didn’t as a matter of fact you need to leave” Lando said.
“Whatever you be with your stupid little race strategist” she said brushing my shoulder as she walked out. “I’m sorry she was pissing me off” I said. “I heard you” Lando said laughing. “What” I said. “You are so feisty sometimes you know” Lando said. “Shut up and go get ready” I said he kissed my cheek.
“And uhh I love you too” Lando said. I just blushed as he walked away.
Later…
Lando had won his first race. I ran over to the cars with everyone and stood up front. With tears pouring out of my eyes. He got out of the car. The whole McLaren crew cheered.
He walked over and spotted me. He then ran over and kissed me. As the McLaren crew cheered.
“My lucky charm” he said I smiled teary eyed. He then picked me up and spun mr around. “P1 so proud of you” I said. “You helped a lot so thank you baby” Lando said. “Oh so I’m baby now” I said sarcastically. “If you want to be my girl just ask” Lando said.
“Hmmmm tempting Lan” I said. “How about you just say yes and we see what happens” Lando said. “Alright I’ll be your girl” I said. “Good cause tonight I’m taking you out” Lando said. “Oh really shouldn’t I treat you” I said.
“When it comes to you just let me treat you” Lando said. “Fine my love” I said. “But tonight I’m expecting so many kisses” Lando said. “Of course my race winner” I said kissing him. “Now let’s go celebrate baby” Lando said.
____
(A/N- Sorry for randomly disappearing but I’m back now, needed a break from writing and stuff. But I’m back and I’m gonna take new requests. I’m gonna do a couple that have been asked. But send in new ones!!)
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Text
part 2 to this | T | wc: 2,141
🐺🌕🐾🐺🌕🐾
No wonder he didn’t fuckin hear him. His whole brain was focusing on excuses that it drowned out anything else. Without the door opening (which would 100% have shut him up), Steve didn’t have the brain power to listen for even the softest carpet-muffled footsteps.
“Sorry, I was coming to help and then I heard you talking about…” Eddie starts, but trails off, glancing between Robin and Steve, then shakes his head as if getting himself back on track, “But then you said you’d ‘radish’ me and it was so damn funny…”
For a breath, no one says anything. Steve can hear it in Eddie’s breath and in his heartbeat’s slightly quickening pace that he’s just about to say something else, probably some way to excuse himself, when Robin bursts out laughing.
“Seriously! I couldn’t believe it either, ‘Radish’! Ha!” She continues to cackle, doubling over dramatically.
Steve rolls his eyes at her, “Yeah, yeah, Steeb no good with word.”
That just makes her laugh louder. “Oh this is too good, damn, I can’t breathe.” She giggles again, standing straight only momentarily, because as soon as she looks at Steve, she starts cracking up again. “Sorry, sorry, I gotta,” another giggle, a gesture toward the house, “I’m just gonna…” she heads back inside, cackling all the way. He even hears her mumble ‘radish’ to herself again just before she slides the door closed behind her.
“Uh…surpri–”
“You’re really a werewolf?” Eddie cuts him off, then realizes. “Oops, sorry.”
Steve sighs and sinks down onto one of the patio chairs. He looks up at Eddie, still standing by the sliding door, and pats the spot on the seat next to him.
Eddie, of course, nearly trips over his own feet to get over to him, falling onto the chair with enough force to shift the feet on his end backwards an inch or two.
“Yeah, I really am.” Steve takes a deep breath and glances over at Eddie; his eyes are wide and wholly focused onto Steve, more than ready to listen. He huffs a laugh when he lets out the breath. “I’m sure you have questions.”
He’s barely gotten the words out when Eddie starts pelting him with questions. “So, can you like..smell really good? Or hear? How far can you hear? Does everyone have their own scent? If you bite someone, do they become a werewolf too? Do you only change on the full moon or is it a ‘whenever I feel like it’ type thing? Like, are you a werewolf or a Werewolf TM?”
Steve snickers at Eddie taking the time to actually say the letters T-M out loud, but it doesn’t affect Eddie’s focus on asking a million and one questions in the slightest. “What color is your fur? Is it brown like your hair? Do you even have fur when you change? Do you have claws? How big do you get anyway? Do you have a tail? Is the pack thing real? What about the mate thin—”
That’s where he cuts himself off. The bright blush on his face seemed to be the cause; all the blood that he could’ve used in his brain to ask more, suddenly rushing to fill up his face with color.
Still smiling, Steve asks, “You done?”
Eddie gulps down nothing, managing a strangled “Yep.”
“Well, I’m a werewolf, I turn into a…not exactly a wolf, I don’t think, more like a big dog? And it’s not really a moon thing; I can change whenever I want to, though I feel more of a need to around the full moon. It’s easier then too.
“I’m about as tall as I am now when I’m changed, like, my face is right about the place it usually is, and yes, I’m stronger, faster, and have had better hearing and smell since it happened.”
“What happened anyway?”
“Hang on, hang on, I’m still answering your first zillion questions.” Steve says, faux-disgruntled. It makes Eddie laugh and do a weird half gesture slash bow in his seat for Steve to continue.
“Okay, uhm…” He starts to count out things on his fingers, thinking back on what Eddie asked. “Yes tail, yes to everyone having a scent, but that’s already been a thing, you can smell other people too, can’t you?” Eddie shrugs in acknowledgement, “Mine’s just stronger of a smell; Not claws, but I have nails like any other dog.. 
“And the pack thing…” This one was going to be more difficult, “Yes? But mostly only for the kids I suppose. And Robin. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll put myself between any of you and whatever danger comes along, but it’s like in my bones to want to…I dunno, hoard them all away? Wolf analogy would be to put them all in the cave,” he gestures to one side, “and put me in the entrance.” Then gestures to his other side. “Not realistic, but that’s what it feels like.”
Eddie snorts a laugh, but nods, so he continues on. “The mate thing though,” Eddie tenses, “It’s not like the fics, not really at least as far as I can tell.”
“You’ve read werewolf fics?”
Steve shrugs, “I got curious, sue me.” They both fall silent, staring out over the pool.
“How’d it happen?”
He takes in a long breath through his nose; the chlorine stings.
“Couple years ago the shitheads roped me into venturing through these tunnels under Merrill’s Pumpkin Patch. Upside Down related nonsense, of course, and when I was helping them back up out of the hole to avoid this..herd of demodogs, I was still down there when they came tearing down the path.
“I think one of them snuck a taste and that’s what did it. Though I didn’t notice it at first, adrenaline and all; plus the beating I’d taken from Hargrove what, a couple hours before that at minimum?
“I woke up a couple days after everything was over that time as a dog, nearly snapped my bedframe in half with all the extra weight. Anyway, long story short is: I woke up a dog, took me a couple days to figure out how to turn back, then another chunk of time figuring out how to do it on purpose, then Starcourt happened and whatever those guys shot me up with made it so I couldn’t change for a while, made me pretty loopy, but I got Robin out of the whole thing, and told her about wolf Steve while coming down off that truth crap, and that’s pretty much it.”
Eddie blinks at him once.
Twice.
Then, sounding as if he was releasing a breath he’d been holding that whole time, Eddie heaves out a “Jesus Christ.”
“Yep.”
Eddie blinks at him a couple more times, then his face scrunches up as if he’s in pain, “Jesus Christ, you heard me talking about being claimed and shit… I was talking to you about it, uugh!” he drops his face into his palms in exasperation.
Steve hears Eddie’s frantic heartbeat grow faster then, so clear it’s as if he had his ear pressed directly to his chest.
“And you overheard me saying I’d like to radish you,” a loud laugh escapes Eddie’s lips, “So I think we’re about even.”
He’d tried to sound confident and nonchalant about it, but in the breath it took Eddie to finally drag his hands down off his face, Steve’s own heart and thoughts were thundering on. It must’ve really, only been hypotheticals, wishful thinking, fantasy. There’s no way Eddie would actually want him. No way his affections that'd grown for the man beside him in the short month since the world didn’t end, would be returned.
Eddie finally removes his hands, “The full moon is only a couple days away.” he says, glancing up at the sky.
See? Topic changed. Steve knew it’d be too good to be true.
“Yeah, there was one right before everything happened last month.” Steve nods, swallowing down the lump in his throat, “Maybe I’ll come by the park and visit.” He elbows Eddie playfully.
“I’ll make sure Wayne doesn’t shoot ya.” Eddie grins.
Steve snorts, elbowing him again and standing. “C’mon, let’s go back in, I think Robin wants to play Uno.”
- - - - -
True to his word, Steve loped out into the light of the full moon a couple nights later on all fours, trotting away from Loch Nora with one place on his mind. 
Crossing through the forest separating the two neighborhoods, he makes it to the edge of the Forest Hills park in no time at all. He skirts along the edge of the park to where the government had bought and placed the Munsons’ new apology double-wide and hunches low, padding along until he’s under the window he knows is Eddie’s.
Even if he hadn’t known before now, the music he could hear across the highway out by the entrance to the park would certainly tell him which one is the metalhead’s.
He hops his front paws up just under the edge of the window and sneaks a glance inside.
Eddie’s bed is against the wall in this trailer, the end of it falling right under this window, and Eddie is sitting in the middle of the mattress, hunched over his guitar.
Not wanting to scare him, Steve originally wants to just scratch his nails along the sturdy vinyl siding here, but even if he didn’t have enhanced hearing, he’d know that Eddie wouldn’t be able to hear something so light.
So, he barks.
One short ‘boof’ at the bottom pane does it, and if Eddie had been holding anything but the literal most important possession of his, it’d be on the other side of the room with how far he jumps.
“Jesus Chri— Steve?” he asks disbelievingly at the window.
Steve feels his doggy face react to the goofy grin he’d be doing if he’d been on two legs. Tongue lolling out one side, tail swooshing up a mini hurricane behind him, damn he’s obvious.
Eddie comes to the window and Steve drops down onto all fours, plopping down on his haunches while he waits for his friend to budge open the glass.
He finally wrenches it open, grinning down at Steve in wonder, “Look at you, big boy, y’came to see me after all—”
Whatever Eddie says after that is lost to the now-settling wind. 
All of Steve freezes up. His tail stops mid wag, his jaw snaps shut and narrowly misses catching his tongue on his own teeth. 
Because Steve can smell him.
He can smell Eddie.
Screw whatever he’d told him before at his pool, not everyone has a smell. Not one like this.
Sweet and spicy, smoky and delicious, like nothing he'd ever smelled before.
The wolf part of his brain, a mostly mute half of him that seems to be what tells him where the moon is in its cycle, how far away that smell he picked up on the wind is, that holds all his baser instincts, screams “MINE.”
Just before he’s about to fling himself over/onto/past Eddie in the window to get into that trailer by any means necessary, Steve’s conscious human brain grasps onto the last sliver of conscious thought, and not a moment too soon. His legs were couched as if about to leap.
He wrestles his wolf brain back, tucking his tail down (telling it desperately to stop wagging goddamnit), lowering his front paws and nose to the ground and taking lungfuls of dirt smell instead, and backs up.
He takes two good steps back before Eddie’s voice cuts through his hold on himself, “-eve? Steve! What’s wron–?”
His hold on his last strand of conscious thought wrenches him around and sends him flying back into the trees to Eddie’s call of “Where are you going?”
He just needs to stay out of Hawkins, stay in the woods at least, nowhere near where Eddie would find him if he came looking.. At least until the full moon is over and he won't feel that uncomfortable itch beneath his skin to shift if he goes back to two legs.
His thoughts threaten to whirl, why now, why Eddie? Okay, he knows why he’d like it to be Eddie, but really? Mates are a real thing and Eddie is his?? 
The wolf brain rumbles happily and Steve finds himself listing back towards Forest Hills mid-run and corrects himself.
He can’t risk hurting Eddie; what would he even do? His wolf brain says to bite, to claim, reminds him that Eddie wants that too, but wouldn’t that hurt him?? His teeth are, in fact, much larger in this form.
He’s listing again.
Steve shakes his head, empties his head of everything but run, breathe, run, breathe, run…
Daybreak can’t come soon enough.
🐺🌕🐾🐺🌕🐾
surprise! it was always meant to be 'radish' lmao
editing to tag folks who were interested in the last part!
@shainsaw22, @devondespresso, @sageclipse, @allyricas, @hotluncheddie, @stedumpsterfire, @themoonagainstmers, @mugloversonly, @yesdangerpls, @matchingbatbites
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