#i have another pair
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for the sake of documenting bc this is my online diary. had a crazy breakdown tonight and ive calmed down enough to have rational thoughts. i cant even explain what led up to it. so much bad feelings that just started weeks ago, snowballing into one giant mess. been feeling like nobody cares about me in the slightest, to feeling like i just cannot do people these days. its so draining. it doesn't help that it seems everyone in my life is just going thru it so. i just . couldn't do it. i didn't have the energy to be there for people. and work ........ is a whole other story. just so many little things piling up in my brain i guess and i just snapped. still i feel like its all such a jumbled mess in my brain rn im exhausted im about to blue screen again i don't rlly care if this makes sense or not but. whatever. it happened tho. im glad that my fears were not based in reality, my dad comforted me and i just cried . so much. exactly the way i felt like i couldnt ever and it was very nice im glad he was there. i just kinda feel like crying every 5 seconds now but its ok . i don't typically have breakdowns like this at all...so ... damn. im getting an apt to refill my meds next week so i should be back to normal soon. jfc.
#unfortunately my glasses did not survive the breakdown#i threw them off my face and they . broke lol#i have another pair#was screaming and crying so loud and pulling my hair#kinda funny but wtf was i thinking mid breakdown i was like thinking of powder when she was havin her breakdown girl that is different#minnie post#minnie vent
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Ohh look, it's the dead boy detectives!
#it happened again#another pair of neil gaiman's gay men have stolen my heart#this happens too frequently for my liking#no but edwin and charles MY GOD#their relationship is so insanely beautiful#please watch dead boy detectives if you haven't yet I NEED it to be renewed!!#also you're allowed to hit me cos I worked on this instead of working on my final#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives fanart#edwin and charles#painland#chedwin#DBD#my art#fanart#digital art#ghosts#my fanart#illustration
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Consider: Post-canon Zuko wakes up in the body of his childhood self, the morning of That War Meeting. Would he still speak against the plans, knowing his fate? What do you think he would do differently the second time around?
"Turned away at the doors, Zuzu?"
"Shut up, Azula," her brother sulked. But sulked weirdly, after staring at her too long and too wide-eyed, not like she'd surprised him but--
But like he hadn't expected her to be there. At all.
He turned away. ...He turned back. "Hey, Lala? Do you think you could help me practice that one set?"
He didn't meet her eyes.
She narrowed hers. "Which set?"
"The one I'm bad at."
She scoffed. Pushed away from the wall she'd been leaning against. "That's all of them, Dum-Dum."
He didn't shout or stomp or yell about the nickname. His lips twitched.
"It's okay," he said. "If you're afraid you won't be a better teacher that my instructor..."
It was the most obvious manipulation ever.
Perhaps if he proved an adequate firebending student, she'd work on his courtly survival skills next. Honestly, it was good that not even Uncle Gets-Cousins-Killed had been fool enough to take Zuko into that war meeting. She could only imagine how terribly that could have gone.
"Keep up," she said, and turned her steps towards the training grounds.
He did. There, and during the katas she ran him through.
Azula kept her eyes narrowed.
"Hey," he asked, "do you know how to bend lightning yet?"
As if he could have missed it, if she'd been able to get more than sparks. "I will soon," she said.
"You will," he agreed, and flowed through his next set. The one she'd only just mastered.
Father didn't notice how weird Zuzu was being. Uncle never noticed anything. Zuko ate dinner and asked a servant for seconds and didn't stutter or flinch or lose his appetite when father asked, coolly, what he'd done with his day. Azula's shoulders tensed, because one mention of how she'd squandered her own training time teaching him--
"Azula hogged the training grounds. For hours," Zuzu scowled, exactly like a petulant thirteen year old.
Exactly like he hadn't been acting all day.
By the time Father was looking her way, Azula had her usual smirk in place. "I'm sure there would be room for both of us," she said, "you're not afraid of a little friendly fire, are you, brother?"
Zuko sulked. And ate his seconds, like he was enjoying each bite. There was something in his eyes, like a joke no one else was getting.
---
Father died that night. A heart attack. There were the faintest of burns to either side of the treacherous organ; the royal physician hypothesized that he'd grabbed at his chest, fingers burning hot in his final moments; so hot they'd only exacerbated the problem.
The royal physician would never have been brought any victims of lighting strikes. Those that occurred in the capital did not generally require a doctor in the aftermath.
Zuzu ate a hearty breakfast.
He didn't order seconds. Azula gave him points, at least, for not being tacky.
---
The sages named Iroh as regent.
They named Zuko as Fire Lord.
"No," the tiny Fire Lord in his perfectly miniaturized Fire Lord robes said, sitting at the head of his war council. "We're not doing that. And I'll be reviewing all recent battle plans, as well. What's this I hear about a division of new recruits being deployed to the front?"
He did not mention how he'd heard of the 41st Division. No one asked.
"Prince Iroh, surely--" one of the generals tried to appeal.
The young Fire Lord's regent was looking as startled as the rest of them, for a moment. Then he sipped his tea, and smiled.
"Your Fire Lord is correct, of course. A change in our leadership--a change the other nations may mistakenly view as weakness--will necessitate a change in our strategy."
"Now," said their lord, "what, exactly, is our overall objective in this war?"
War, the new Fire Lord decreed, was not an end unto itself.
---
The new Fire Lord continued to have time, to pretend to be trained by her. Azula watched him. Adjusted her footwork. Did not tolerate, and was not offered, any commentary on who was teaching who.
"What did you do with my brother?" she asked, as they flowed from one set to the next. As her hands, poised to throw fire, just so happened to be pointed his way.
He missed a step. It didn't look like an act.
"I'm, uh. Right here?"
She didn't bother to dignify that.
He didn't bother to look worried about her hands, one movement off from a true attack.
He looked around, then grabbed her sleeve, and tugged her further from any walls that may hide ears. The royal family's private training grounds were wonderfully large, and wonderfully open.
"It's me," he said. "It's still me. Just. More of me? Longer of me?"
She narrowed her eyes. A familiar expression, by this point. "Explain."
"...I found the Avatar," he said. "And this is definitely his fault, but--but I guess it started at a war meeting, when I was thirteen."
Azula listened. It was a very Dum-Dum story.
#Zuko blue spiriting off to kill a man: mom would be so proud <3#Regent Iroh is left to wonder when his nephew learned to brew a decent cup of calming tea#and also managed to develop an impressively fleshed out plan to transition the Fire Nation economy from war to industry#Hakoda looking down at an invitation to meet for formal peace negotiations: why does it say to bring my children#Kya: he's only thirteen. maybe he doesn't know which way he swings yet?#in another timeline Kya would have been killed by the same crew that was instead tasked to carry this message#sssh let's pretend the timing works#Azula: no but really give me one good reason not to tattle on your time-traveling possibly-just-a-body-stealing-spirit self to Uncle#Zuko: you could tattle on me#or#I could tattle on him#Hey Azula. Did you know Uncle left a breeding pair of dragons alive?#egg field trip egg field trip egg field trip#avatar the last airbender#atla#Zuko#Azula#fire lord Zuko#ficlet
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'' yeah i like drawing characters with their exact canon outfit-- '' BWOBOWBOW 💥💥gets possessed
#his face is so hard 2 draw :((#whenever he smiles another angel gains a pair of wings#whenever he is seen as just masky's shy sidekick an angel loses it's wings#if i had a nickel for everytime i drew him fully masked on roblox and someone said “ dream?” id have two nickels. GET OU#anyways live laugh love brian hoodie hoody whatever#marble hornets#brian marble hornets#hoodie marble hornets#hoodie mh#brian mh#do i tag creepypasta for engagement purpose or do i stay happy#i choose happiness#art#brian thomas
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sequel to this
#sangspeaks#sketches#ship dynamic#shipping meme#another secret for the tumblr only crowd#the main pairings i had in mind for both of these#was yuri#and for fandoms i barely interact w/#okay bye have fun
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SO. The. Th. chapter 71 of Mistakes on mistakes until HUH
Good news. It took me five million years but I figured out how to draw Mirage>:D I was only drawing him once (also for momu) but imma be honest. That wasn't by best performance haha
#maccadam#transformers#jazz#mirage#hound#momu fanart#fic fanart#I'm looking at Mirage....and then I'm looking at Blurr. And then I'm starting to realize that I might have another very specific type lol#If I had a nickel for every time I fall for a blue rich speedster who owns a bar.....#how is Mirage/Hound pairing called? I have no idea
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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Throwing this one out there too cuz I forgot I had it
#tbh I forgot I have a bit of other art I wouldn't mind uploading#even after I said “that was everything”#well guess what-#anyways surprise I like more pairings than just the usual two bozos I draw all the time#hear me out on this one#think of the homoerotic mind games these two could get up to#just think about it#guilty gear#happy chaos#Daryl guilty gear#chaosdaryl#I know RoyalBlue's another one that's going around#my art
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Home at last
#this took me way longer than it should have..#sorta gave up at the end#banging my head against the wall#anyway I love them..#yet another doomed brother sister pair.. sob#art#my art#nine Sols#nine Sols yi#nine Sols Heng#yi nine sols#heng nine sols#nine Sols penglai#9 sols
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....neuvifuri jumpscare...
#genshin impact#neuvillette#furina#neuvifuri#so basically I got atttached to these two#THE AQ WAS SO GOOD I only finished it myself not too long ago#i still love zv i just have another pair that ill hyperfixate on and off starting from now#merry christmas by the way everyone!#one thing from my wish list is neuvilette and i regret not pulling for him sooner please
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Ok so I have been stewing this crossover au in my brain nonstop for the past few days and. I am nothing if not committed to the bit, so. Volume cover redraws :)
Here are the originals:
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If you want to read more about my one piece spy x family crossover, keep reading!
So the idea is simple! Crossover reincarnation au where ASL is reborn in Spy x Family. They’re each born separately and none of them are born with the same names as their previous lives, and with no way of finding each other, they each find their own thing to do in the world.
Sabo, too used to the dangers of being a spy, eventually finds a cause to devote himself to again, in preventing war from engulfing the country he was reborn in. Ace, drawn to fire as he was in his previous life, used arson as a means to rob rich people for sustenance and survival, and is eventually scouted and hired by Garden as a fire specialist and assassin. And Luffy, though born in perhaps the poorest condition, grows up happily and takes whatever part time jobs he wants to do.
The thing about Sabo is that, as much as he seems like a young man of good repute and high standing within society, everyone in WISE knows that he is a massive nuisance. Nobody knew in the beginning how a child less than half the age of most of their veteran agents could have the same skills and knowledge in their profession. Sabo was— and still is— hyper competent, and by the time WISE figured out just how much of a menace to society he was, it was too late.
Ace forgot for the first few years of his new life that he wasn’t made of fire, and consequently, received multiple accidental burns. This did not deter him, however, from growing up to be a very skilled arsonist, well-practiced in every which way to start a dumpster fire or house fire. As a teenage he would use this often to draw attention as he robbed rich people blind. When he was caught, he was given an ultimatum by Garden: join them and receive payment for starting fires and causing problems under contract, or face the government and authorities for his crimes. Begrudgingly, he joined Garden, but eventually comes to appreciate that he can make substantial money in his element.
Luffy is Luffy. No telepathy or experimentation, no fancy schools, no gimmicks or secret identities. But he has still lived an extremely colorful life in this world, full of fascinating and kind individuals who have helped him grow up healthy and relatively happy. He goes where he is free, and he takes whatever part time jobs he wants in order to make the minimum he needs to survive.
Ace and Sabo find each other first, in their late teens, and neither of them realize that the other remembers their previous life, but both refuse to separate. (Sabo thinks Ace doesn’t remember, because Ace didn’t recognize him. Ace never saw Sabo grow up past 10, however, so he doesn’t recognize older Sabo immediately. By the time he does realize who exactly Sabo is, Sabo has backtracked and pretends to know Ace from a dream, or from somewhere else.)
Sabo’s attachment to Ace, predictably, causes problems between Sabo and WISE, but by then, Sabo is indispensable to the organization, and they make an exception for Sabo to be able to remain with Ace, so long as Ace never finds out what Sabo’s actual job is. Ace, on the other hand, hides his job because he doesn’t want his brother, who he has just found and who does not know Ace well enough yet, to know that he makes a living from killing people.
And they find Luffy sometime afterwards, prior to the beginning of the Spy x Family canon. Luffy figures out, not long after moving in with his brothers, both of his brothers’ secret occupations and the fact that both of them remember their past memories. He thinks it is common knowledge, however, and so he never brings it up.
#one piece#spy x family crossover#sabo#monkey d luffy#portgas d ace#crossover#I have so many ideas for this au#I’ll probably write like a drabble series for it#maybe. if I get around to it#extra things:#Loid and sabo get paired on a nonzero number of missions as siblings#they are only 6 years apart in age and they’re both blond so WISE is like.. ‘it’s free real estate’#every time this happens sabo finds a way to sneak into conversations that they’re actually cousins instead#this annoys loid a LOT because he thinks sabo can’t keep a cover to save his life. sabo is aware but he only has 2 brothers#and even in disguise he refuses to let someone else take ace and luffy’s place#ace’s codename within Garden is either ‘flame lily’ or ‘pyracantha’#the latter being another name for the firethorn plant#yor has only heard of him in passing and has not met him in person before. but she knows that she is sent whenever he blunders and lets#someone see his face#Luffy is kind of just chilling! he takes a lot of part time jobs everywhere#to the point that loid is briefly worried that he’s a tail or stalker or something since he keeps seeing luffy around#Anya really loves playing with Luffy though because luffy has such vivid thoughts of the ocean and being a pirate#ok that’s it for now#I am very. brainrotting
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#wohoo i found a way to make a ship poll without naming ships#bc name of one pairing is blocked by one side of the fandom#and another name is blocked by the other side of the fandom#so no one would have seen that poll#polls#spn#supernatural#castiel#dean winchester#sam winchester#i hope i won't regret it
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💙❤️Happy Holidays!❤️💙
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#wei wuxian#This is *specifically* fanart of the interfaith christmas cards featuring santa and his jewish rabbi husband spending time together#Why? Well as I was trying to think of things to draw for the season I realized there was another classic Blue and Red pairing to reference#They are going out for chinese food after this photoshoot. Kosher of course.#I want them to star in an interfaith hallmark film. A meet cute + save christmas + murder mystery in a small town kind of story#Or! Maybe they are just going to have a chill holiday break together and bake some treats with the extended family#So many fun possibilities about this bonkers concept I have no intention of making a bigger deal out of#speaking of Big Deals though;#If you have ever wanted to show appreciation for this (free) daily comics blog then I have one Holiday request:#If you have the means to - please donate your money to either a local food bank or a Yemen relief fund#there are so many people going without food and every bit helps. Truly would be the best holiday treat ever#and if you do not celebrate this holiday season…it’s also my birthday! You wouldnt want to let down the birthday cat would you?#(DISCLAIMER: it may or may not actually be my birthday. I may just be pressing emotional buttons to influence people to my cause)#(DISCLAIMER 2: I cannot vouch for any charities you donate to. Please be cautious and research properly before donating)
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some business to take care of
#i was tempted to caption this as she was a skater boy and she was also another skater boy but#duck scribbles#midoyuzu#enstars#whats up guys im being embarrassing again on main#been wanting a new phone wallpaper and this was born. its the lesbian version though im not showing that#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#also have additional doodles that r kind of corny and im too ashamed to add into the main post so i might add on a reblog or maybe not#midterms were so awful i had to keep reminding myself i can go ham drawing whatever i want once im done. and naturally its this#anyways ive always liked midos city rider fit it suits her so well#always wanted to find a good one to pair w it and the wink killer 2nd half xscout was toooo good i was inspired immediately#finally could use this good ref pic ive had saved since forever i need to draw backgrounds more too it was rather fun somehow#mental state has been yoyoing an insane degree lately like come on i dont need to be reminded i am a useless hunk of meat every other day#with nothing good going for them. college is amazing at reminding me of such god bless#i have bad tendencies to self isolate behind the excuse of concentrating that i am trying to fix . but its hard to get back when i do#not to mention the entire Big Event happening over in good ol amerika serikat!!! my apathy is naturally immense#but whats some peace of mind here and there idk. im gonna read yuri
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this screenshot is sending me . babes . they slapped a pair of reading glasses on her and called it a day .
#doctor who#dw spoilers#dw bts#ruby sunday#millie gibson#73 yards#i have all the respect to the make up department on doctor who. and i suspect they went for something very subtle#like just shading in natural face creases that just unfortunately didn't show up that well on camera#also paired with the fact that ruby was still hopping about like a 19 year old at 40 (tbh good on her.) ace did the same thing and that was#just sophie aldred bringing her all when she got the chance to reprise her role (good on her too)#it did however have the side effect of making ruby's jump from 19 to 40 absolutely hilarious#especially because the jump from 40 to 80 really was just another older actress and that made the whiplash even funnier
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Bringing this back bc I think we as a society moved on too fast
#byler#sitting in silence and thoughtfully listening to the person you're in love with blabbering on and just sitting there like#LET ME PHOTOGRAPH YOU IN THIS LIGHT#you could easily make the argument byler is endgame based solely on the number of parallels they have over the seasons#why is there so much dedication and intricate planning put into scenes for them?#why do i have to have almost every scene have at least one frame by frame callback to another scene with them? like??#literally more parallels and callbacks than all the existing romantic pairings combined...#and the parallels are always deep and pointing to it being requited...#friends?#it's not that deep?#except with byler it always is
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