#i have acquired a new babygirl

[thatharringrovehoe]

You're doing great sweetie 🥰

[sobselpop]

So yeah I binge-watched the new Fallout series and fell in love with a cowboy ghoul 🧍‍♀️

[girl-help-im-hyperfixating]

I just found out that there is a set of baby moe MGS4 figures called Sweet Snake and I feel insane. These are so fucking stupid I would do UNGODLY things to own a box set of these. Who made these. Why.

I MUST HAVE THEM. I NEED THEM.

[dean-winchesters-clit]

Another theory post about OFMD S2 because it's all I think about anymore

I had a theory forming about the pearl necklace Ed is wearing that I wanted to share with y'all. I was originally speculating about where Ed got the necklace, thinking that maybe he stole it off one of the wedding guests or even the bride because you can see a lot of the women wearing pearl jewelry in these shots.

But the only pearl necklace we see is much larger than the ones Ed is wearing, and I did some digging and found out that pearl necklaces mostly went out of style in Europe due to a war and the church getting all uppity about people being excessive, so it would be unlikely that any of the other women would be wearing pearl necklaces, especially when the earrings and hairpins made with pearls were usually larger and more uniform than the ones we see on Ed's necklace.

So, where did the necklace come from? I think it makes perfect sense that Stede gave it to Ed because of course he did, but when? It's hard to see Ed's neck in any of the shots of him raiding the wedding ship or in the captain's cabin aboard the Revenge, but I think it's safe to say that he doesn't have it at that point in time.

The first time we see it clearly in the trailer is when he's in the forest, confronting the mysterious figure (who I have a theory about, but that's for another time).

So, Ed gets the pearl necklace some time between raiding a bunch of ships as Blackbeard and getting stranded on an island. What could possibly happen in the interim that could cause him to acquire a pearl necklace from Stede?

Well, we all know Mysterious Merchant Susan is definitely the Chinese Pirate Queen Shi Yang/Zheng Yi Sao/Ching Shih or some approximation of her (since the real Zheng Yi Sao was born in 1775). We also know that she's masquerading as a merchant for some reason. What if the scene of Stede and Oluwande at the market happens before Stede sends his message in a bottle to Ed?

What if, when talking about Blackbeard and Ed, Susan convinces Stede to buy a string of these?

Chinese freshwater pearls. They're smaller and less uniform than the pearls we associate with classic European pearl jewelry. And they match up in style and size pretty well to the pearls on Ed's necklace.

What if Stede buys these pearls from Susan and places them in the bottle along with his message to Ed? Then, when Ed gets stranded on the island, he finds the bottle on the beach and the pearls inside. That's why he goes from no pearls on the Revenge to pearl necklace on the deserted island.

Just some food for thought!

Edit

So, @naranjapetrificada pointed something out that kinda sinks this theory, but I do really like where this new info leads us.

Ed is wearing the pearl necklace before being stranded on the island. You can see it in the "fuck you, Stede Bonnet" frame, but it's easy to miss.

There she is, when Ed is very clearly on the deck of the Revenge.

So, this does burn my theory to the ground, but that's okay!! That's the fun of theory crafting! Someone noticed something I didn't and flipped the whole script!

I love the implications that the necklace is something Ed chooses for himself, rather than something he is gifted. He still likes fine things and wants to feel pretty and finds something that makes him feel that way. Babygirl is having a rough time and deserves some happiness, dammit!!

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Loretta Young (The Farmer’s Daughter, The Stranger, Love is News)— Her cheekbones!! Her lips!! Her big eyes and small nose and not quite classical features!! The planes of her face hypnotize me and her smile clears my mind of anything else. She’s an interesting beauty, not a standard one, almost in a Mads Mikkelsen type way (I repeat: cheekbones). Also I’m begging people to watch The Farmer’s Daughter, a charming rom com where my babygirl Joseph Cotten falls through the ice while skating because he got distracted by how pretty she was, and where Loretta puts on a 40s-bad Swedish accent and runs for Congress! Girlboss!

Marlene Dietrich (Shanghai Express, Witness for the Prosecution, Morocco)—its marlene dietrich!!!! queer legend, easily the hottest person to ever wear a tuxedo, that hot hot voice, those glamorous glamorous movies.... most famously she starred in a string of movies directed by josef von sternberg throughout the 1930s, beginning with the blue angel which catapulted her to stardom in the role of the cabaret singer lola lola. known for his exquisite eye for lighting, texture, imagery, von sternberg devoted himself over the course of their collaborations to acquiring exceptional skill at photographing dietrich herself in particular, a worthy direction in which to expend effort im sure we can all agree. she collaborated with many other great directors of the era as well, including rouben mamoulian (song of songs), frank borzage (desire), ernst lubitsch (angel), fritz lang (rancho notorious), and billy wilder (witness for the prosecution). the encyclopedia britannica entry im looking at while compiling this propaganda describes her as having an “aura of sophistication and languid sexuality” which✔️💯. born marie magdalene dietrich, she combined her first and middle names to coin the moniker “marlene”. she was a trendsetter in her incorporation of trousers, suits, and menswear into her wardrobe and her androgynous allure was often remarked upon. critic kenneth tynan wrote, “She has sex, but no particular gender. She has the bearing of a man; the characters she plays love power and wear trousers. Her masculinity appeals to women and her sexuality to men.” in the 1920s she enjoyed the vibrant queer nightlife of weimar berlin, visiting gay bars and drag balls, and in hollywood her love affairs with men and women were an open secret. she was an ardent opponent of nazi germany, refusing lucrative contacts offered her to make films there, raising money with billy wilder to help jews and dissidents escape, and undertaking extensive USO tours to entertain soldiers with an act that included her a playing musical saw and doing a mindreading routine she learned from orson welles. starting in the 50s and continuing into the mid-70s she worked largely as a cabaret artist touring the world to large audiences, employing burt bacharach as her musical arranger.

This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Loretta Young:

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

"ms dietrich....ms dietrich pls.....sit on my face"

"First of all, there are those publicity photos of her in a tux. Second of all, I have never been the same since knowing that she sent copies of those photos to her Berlin lovers signed "Daddy Marlene." Not only is she hot in all circumstances, but she can do everything from earthy to ice queen. Also, she kept getting sexy romantic lead parts in Hollywood after the age of 40, which would be rare even now. She hated Nazis, loved her friends, and had a sapphic social circle in Hollywood. She also had cheekbones that could cut glass and a voice that could melt you."

Bisexual icon, super hot when dressed both masculine and feminine, lived up her life in the queer Berlin scene of the 1920s, central to the 'sewing circle' of the secret sapphic actresses of Old Hollywood, refused lucrative offers by the Nazis and helped Jews and others under persecution to escape Nazi Germany, the love of my life

Her GENDER her looks her voice her everything

“In her films and record-breaking cabaret performances, Miss Dietrich artfully projected cool sophistication, self-mockery and infinite experience. Her sexuality was audacious, her wit was insolent and her manner was ageless. With a world-weary charm and a diaphanous gown showing off her celebrated legs, she was the quintessential cabaret entertainer of Weimar-era Germany.”

"The bar scene in Morocco awoke something in me and ultimately changed my gender"

"Her manner, the critic Kenneth Tynan wrote, was that of ‘a serpentine lasso whereby her voice casually winds itself around our most vulnerable fantasies.’ Her friend Maurice Chevalier said: ‘Dietrich is something that never existed before and may never exist again.’”

"Songstress, photographer, fashion icon, out bisexual phenom (notoriously stole Lupe Velez and Joan Crawford's men, and Errol Flynn's wife, had a torrid affair with Greta Garbo that ended in a 60-year feud, other notable conquests including Erich Maria Remarque -yes, the guy who wrote All Quiet on the Western Front- Douglas Fairbanks Junior, Claudette Colbert, Mercedes de Acosta, Edith Piaf), anti-Nazi activist. Marlene was a bitch - she had an open marriage for decades and one of her favorite things was making catty commentary about her current lover with her husband, and her relationship with her daughter was painful- but she was also immensely talented, a hard worker, an opponent of fascism and the hottest ice queen in Hollywood for a long time."

"She can sing! She can act! She told the Nazis to fuck off and became a US citizen out of spite! She worked with other German exiles to create a fund to help Jews and German dissidents escape (she donated an entire movie salary, about $450k, to the cause). She looks REALLY GOOD in a suit. If you're not convinced, please listen to her sing "Lili Marlene". Absolutely gorgeous woman with a gorgeous voice."

Gifset link

"Bisexual icon and Nazi-hater. Looks absolutely stunning in the suits she liked to wear. 'I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men'."

"Did a bunch of humanitarian work during ww2, pretty sure a shot of her from Shanghai express was the inspiration for one of queens album covers and also her in the suit in Morocco (1930) CHANGED LIVES. I’m sure she’s already been submitted but I wanted an opportunity to submit one of my favourite pictures of her for the poll"

"would you not let her walk on you?"

[babydollmarauders]

MEDIA MANAGEMENT — JACK HUGHES (23-24 SZN PART 2)

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by john.marino97, jesperbratt, and 226,513 others

y/ndevils00 hello and welcome back to your preseason recap! i’m your host, y/n “dove”, here to give you my totally unbiased and not at all subjective rundown!

as this is preseason, not all of our favorite whores were playing tonight (gotta give the babies a chance!) but among the ones who WERE, we have best friend (or idiot) number 2, sweet baby jesper, akira-shakira, basket bahl, smush, uncle lizard, new-found uncle truffle, and everyone’s favorite babygirl: jacky!

side note: do you guys think Jack was looking around suspiciously in fear of me taking his picture? 👀

we had a pretty uneventful first period until my recently acquired uncle, tyler, scored the first goal of the game! go uncle truffle! he also let uncle lizard borrow his stick and glove! we love besties who share!

we opened second period with (fuck it we) bahl getting a penalty for interference! in my opinion, he didn’t interfere with anything because trash cannot be disrupted… but whatever! (yes i did stand on an empty seat to get that picture over the glass, no i will not be stopped)

halfway through second we had a goalie switch! those are fun! (they are not fun.) and i was caught taking a picture��. that doesn’t happen often, the guys can’t usually find me… i think schmido-torpedo has a y/n-sense. kinda like the sense i have to catch Jack when he’s watching cocomelon (that can also be found on slide 6)

in third period, my sweet sweet baby bratter got the devils ahead by one with his goal! pop off, you sweet swedish fish!

seeing as he went to the matt tkachuk school of hockey, lukey pookie was seen chewing on his mouth guard like LSH and electrical cords 🫶

and finally, i added in a picture of maraschino cherry, because he did good tonight despite being the apparent object of the rags hatred and being targeted! he held his own and even pushed a rags player tonight!

p.s. we scored an empty netter goal as well, getting us a 3-2 win tonight, but the puck flew in on its own for us? who knew that was possible!

tagged jackhughes, curtislazar95, tofff73, kevinbahl88, akiraschmid93, jesperbratt, lhughes_06, and john.marino97

Load more comments

jackhughes i live in constant fear of your camera

y/ndevils00 oh shush, you love my camera

jackhughes no, i love YOU. i put up with your camera

y/ndevils00 aw shucks, you love me 🥰

jackhughes dear god please don’t ever say “aw shucks” again

y/ndevils00 ya know, i’m not really feeling the love here

jackhughes never intended for you to

user29 marino: 😗 y/n: 📸

john.marino97 did i just get… outright praise from you?! i thought i knew what it felt like to win, but i never REALLY did until now

y/ndevils00 don’t get used to it. i pitied you and best friend number 1 didn’t play tonight

john.marino97 i’m gonna ignore that

jackhughes for the last time: I’M WATCHING PLAYS! NOT COCOMELON!

y/ndevils00 say what you want but i know your youtube history

kevinbahl88 i was trying so hard to ignore you

y/ndevils00 you can’t ignore me forever, soccer bahl! i always get to the players eventually!

kevinbahl88 you scare me

y/ndevils00 you’re like 10 feet tall, how do EYE scare YOU? you could squash me like a spider

kevinbahl88 or i could not be watching and trip over you and break my neck

y/ndevils00 this feels like an attack on MY height now… @/colecaufield how do you deal with this?

colecaufield now hold on… wtf

akiraschmid93 i do have a y/n sense, i acquired it over the playoffs

y/ndevils00 that scares me

akiraschmid93 i’m always watching

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes TELL HIM TO STOP

jackhughes how does it feel, dove?

y/ndevils00 i- LSH and i are moving in with john

john.marino97 no, you’re not! i can’t have you there to cockblock when i’m trying to hook up

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 this is why dawson is best friend number 1

lhughes_06 did you just compare me to your cat with an apparent death wish?

y/ndevils00 be nice to Lil’ Satan! she may not be smart, but where she lacks brain cells, she makes up for in cuddles! kinda like your brother!

jackhughes all i do is love you and this is the thanks i get?

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes you get other kinds of thanks too! but you said i can’t speak of that on here anymore

lhughes_06 god please don’t. i see all your posts.

user18 y/n is out here acquiring uncles like i acquire new nhl crushes

tofff73 did you just nickname me truffle? and call me your uncle?

y/ndevils00 welcome to the devils!

tofff73 thanks? i think?

nicohischier you get used to her, she’s an acquired taste… but you have no choice but to acquire it

curtislazar95 you are my favorite niece

y/ndevils00 🥹 and you are my favorite uncle, lizard man 🫶

curtislazar95 🦎💚

jesperbratt hey! that’s me!

y/ndevils00 that’s you!! you look at you all smiley and scoring a goal! i’ll break lindy’s kneecaps for you… i don’t think it would be that hard. he’s old.

nicohischier y/n, i’m BEGGING you to stop dissing our coach. you’re gonna lose your job!

y/ndevils00 @/nicohischier nah, lindy thinks i’m funny

jackhughes @/nicohischier i wish she was joking but i’m pretty sure he called her his honorary daughter last sunday after she said she would be in his walls if she couldn’t go to Montreal and see Cole

dawson1417 i feel left out. i don’t like not playing!

y/ndevils00 so get your skates on and play! what lindy gonna do? tell you no?

dawson1417 uh yeah?

y/ndevils00 oh- well leave that up to me then

dawson1417 what are you gonna do…

y/ndevils00 shhh don’t worry about it

trevorzegras i’m so glad i’m not a devil and don’t have to be subjected to these posts

y/ndevils00 you’re unemployed, you should probably be worrying about bigger things right now before i have to see you as a thirst trap tiktoker

user72 the return of jack the ipad kid!!

[cookiesupplier]

Hell Ain't So Bad - Part Seventeen

pairing: Noah Sebastian x ofc (Ellie)

warnings/tropes: slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of torture, thoughts of religious ideology, minor violence, swearing, cheating.

summary: Ellie was lost in the world, homeless with no idea what to do and nowhere to go.. Who would have thought that one day, she’d end up working in hell itself.. And what does this even mean?

author’s note: Unbetaed, readers beware. Last update before Christmas, enjoy the cliff hanger mwhahaha *runs away*

tags: @spicywhenspeaking @bngurngheart @cncohshit @valiantroeagleangel @blackveilomens @dominuslunae @tearfallpixie @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 

Tags are open feel free to ask.

Ellie wakes the next morning wrapped up warm, and cosy but missing one very important element that she’d fallen asleep with the night before. An important piece that she’d been hopeful to have wrapped around her, whimpering softly as she pushed herself up from her bed, and padded her way out of her room. Dressed in nothing but one of Noah’s shirts that she’d acquired over the past few weeks when he’d stayed over here and there. With how tall she was, it was practically like a nightgown on her, hanging around her body, the hem of the shirt around her thighs.

Smiling softly thought when she found him in the kitchen, Noah looking up from the skillet where he was working on the eggs,

“Tsk tsk, BabyGirl, you shouldn’t be up already. Here I was trying to surprise you with breakfast in bed.”

Laughing softly, as she moved to sit on one of the stools along the opposite side of the breakfast bar watching him cook at the stove, Noah was wearing nothing but a pair of lounge pants hanging low on his hips. He’d left some clothes here, more than the shirt, just a few things though since he’d started staying the night, nothing too extreme, nothing to suggest he was actually moving in. Not that he ever really needed to leave anything behind at all when more than once she’d seen him snap his fingers and magic up clothes from nothing when he wanted new clothes the next day. Once or twice he’d done the same with things he’d wanted to see her in, and it was never anything that was fit for public consumption either.

“That’s fine, I don’t mind watching you half-naked in my kitchen.”

That of course, had him glancing towards her with a smirk on that devastating face of his,

“I’m sure you don’t.” After they finished eating breakfast together, Noah insisted on walking her to work today, wanting to enjoy the sunshine. She laughed and called him a sap, but that was alright because he could be her sap and she wouldn’t tell anyone. His secret would be safe with her. His hand over his heart, he’d grinned, not a word. Still, he’d left her with Folio, and Jolly, and he was off, he had things to do today.

One errand in particular.

Walking into Nicholas' office in the Afterlife, he didn’t actually venture out into the realm of the living as often as Ellie thought he did, but that's beside the point. He did have an office, and he did have to deal with so much transitional paperwork when it came to the souls that passed through the Afterlife. Noah didn’t envy him any of that, as much as he had to deal with the souls face to face, and at times they could be the most detestable people you could ever imagine, but he’d take that over dealing with paperwork any day. It would be mind-numbing and just no, he just couldn’t imagine having to handle that for as much as Nicholas did.

As it was, when he walked into the office, he found it empty, smirking to himself, he walked about his best friend’s desk. Noah moved to perch himself in Nicholas’ chair, propping his feet up onto his desk as he waited for him. With a flick of his fingers in the air, he had one of those human toys in his hands, a Rubix cube while he waited, twisting the toy while he thought over what he needed to talk to him about. Ellie. It had been months since she arrived. When people arrived here, some took more time to adjust than others, it was hard to tell how they’d react to certain elements around them, and yet, while Ellie had been so accepting of so much, there had been some, there had just been things she was stuck on.

Truth was, Noah felt like she was still stuck on them, but she might never trust him again if they kept going like this and it exploded in their faces, Hell could be a nasty place in some corners, even if they didn’t like to admit it. Waiting was doing nothing, something needed to change. This wasn’t his call though, he needed to talk to Nicholas.

Looking up when the door opened, smirking at the sight of his best friend, his brother, as he came into the room, coffee in hand,

“What, none for me?”

Grinning wide with a chuckle earning an eye roll from Nicholas as he closed the door behind himself and moved into his office,

“If I knew you’d be meeting me this morning, I absolutely would have made you get your own.”

Smiling at him before jovially flipping him off and then walking towards him.

“Now get out of my chair.”

Moving around his desk, Nick kicked the back of his chair, to jolt Noah, and knock him, using his strength to push him forward and pitch him from the chair. The other demon laughed as he jumped up from the chair just in time before he could stumble out to the floor, he vanished the game cube into thin air and made his way back around the desk, before perching himself on the couch that Nick had in the corner of his office.

As Nicholas settled in his desk chair himself now that it was vacated, sipping his coffee, he said he’d have made Noah get his own, but he probably would have brought one for him, but he really hadn’t known he was coming which was curious, Noah wouldn’t usually turn up without reason.

“Why are you here, you avoid the offices.. You avoid your office like the plague!”

Oh yes, Noah had one, he had to fill in paperwork, not as much as Nick, but he had to at least sign off on the torture sessions for his underlings, especially when they went sideways and he had to clean up the mess that they made.

“I think we need to tell her.”

Noah looked over to Nicholas, not missing the shadow that crossed Nicholas's eyes as he spoke, how serious his expression turned.

“You think she’s ready?”

Noah paused, that was the question. Just as Nicholas asked, a pile of new folders just appeared on his desk, always more souls to assess, and Noah knew when it happened like that it wasn’t a good thing. It usually meant that the souls were from sudden deaths and Nicholas had to process them through the system so they could be assigned to a punishment, or less likely in this manner, a settled placement, sooner rather than later so they weren’t caught in the tangle of the structure waiting to be sorted because their deaths had been so sudden.

“Maybe, no, I-, possibly, I don’t know, but-”

“Wait.”

Nicholas had opened the top file, and the sound of Nicholas' one word stopped Noah cold. His voice was soft, but the tone of his voice spoke more volumes than if the man had yelled booming across all of Hell, fire flickered in the younger demon’s eyes. Nicholas didn’t yell, he wasn’t that kind of demon, he wasn’t forceful, he wasn’t aggressive, but there was an air about him, and when he spoke like that, Noah knew to listen. Another might not know, but Noah wasn’t an idiot, he knew Nick.

“Whatever this is about, another day Noah.”

Shoving the file at him, Nick was standing up at his desk and abandoning his coffee.

“We need to go, now.”

Noah took one look at even the name of the soul in the file, and he knew exactly what the problem was in the file as if Ellie hadn’t dealt with enough, just yesterday even with that fucking jackass of her ex-boyfriend. His BabyGirl deserved better than to deal with this insanity today.

He didn’t say a word as he dumped the file on Nicholas's desk and they teleported out of the office together.

Ellie was sitting at her desk, laughing with Jolly and Folio, they were playing Go Fish. It was such a silly game, but it was one that they could enjoy back and forth. Didn’t matter if they had to drop their hands and tend to a soul and come back to a game after. They were in the middle of a hand when another soul came through the doorway, one that they hadn't been alerted to already, which meant that it was a pretty fresh soul, a quick death.

Settling her cards down, she glared at her pseudo brothers to make sure they didn’t cheat and try to peek at them when they were laying face down, not that it was a high stakes game, but Folio at least was highly competitive. She wouldn’t put it past him. Standing from her seat as she looked to the door now to get a better look to who came through, her heart dropped lower down through her stomach when she realised just who had walked into the office.

Her step-mother.

Fuck.

She hadn’t seen her in years.

She hadn’t seen the woman since she’d kicked her out of the house when she turned eighteen years old and left for college, claiming if she didn’t want to stay in the dorms, she could find her own place to live. How Ellie had been an adult by then, it was up to her to take care of her life on her own. Not that she’d ever been the one to take care of Ellie. No, Ellie had always had to take care of herself, always, even before her parents had gotten divorced really.

Taking in a deep breath, the woman she was looking at had treated her like a chore more than a daughter. She’d married her father less than six months after her parents got divorced, and at the time she’d been withdrawn, missing her mother, but her mother had never really paid much attention to her even before that. Before they got married, she’d treated Ellie like she was the most wonderful little girl, but the moment they had, everything had changed.

Ellie became nothing but a burden to her after that. Treating her more like a member of the help, than like a child she was supposed to look after, having her cook, clean, and doing everything that she didn’t want to do. Ellie had learned to deal with everything herself. From home to school, and everything in between.

“Ellie, dear, thank god you’re here! Can you tell me what’s happening? I don’t know what's going on, I was just, I was in a horrible car crash, and now, I’m here? I don’t know what’s happening?”

Oh, oh she was so confused. Great, and now Ellie had to deal with her, walking towards her,

“You’re in Hell, Gia, Hell, you know Hell, you dragged me to church enough and told me that's where bad girls ended up because I was always such a terrible disappointment to you.”

Always Gia, never Mum, Ellie never had a real mom, her biological mom abandoned her, and her step-mom treated her like some sort of slave… no, she didn’t have a mom. Just Gia.

“Oh honey, I was helping you, helping you to live a good life, a godly life, please, I was in a wreck, it was <i>horrible</i>, please, can you help me? Do, you..”

Glancing to Jolly and Folio who were hanging back and letting Ellie talk to her for the moment since she wasn’t getting violent, just pleading.

“Do you work here, Ellis dear?”

“Ellie, I go by Ellie and you know it.”

Gia huffed slightly,

“Yet your name, is Ellis. Sweetie, please?”

“Why, why should I help you? You’re in Hell, maybe you’re here for a reason, ever think about that?”

She hadn’t met one soul that had come through this particular office that had been innocent. They had all been bound for a punishment dimension of some kind, and it made her wonder what kind Gia was bound for, it was almost poetic to Ellie considering everything she remembered. Glancing over to Jolly she noticed he was looking at the computer, her file must have come through,

“What possibly could have been the reason I would be here, I’ve always been a good person. I raised you, I loved you. Sweetie..”

“Loved me? Raised me? You didn’t do either!”

Ellie’s voice raised higher as she spoke, yelling at her.

“You also killed three people along with yourself by causing the accident. You were the drunk driver.”

Ellie’s attention was drawn right back to Jolly as he looked up from the computer, and the moment the words left his lips, his tone dry and matter-of-fact, Ellie couldn’t help laughing at her,

“Oh, my god! So much for being a good person Gia, drunk driving, homicide? Wow.”

Gia’s eyes narrowed into a vicious glare at Ellie the moment she started laughing at her, but she couldn’t resist, hearing how she had died from her stupidity had just been too ridiculous.

“Oh please! Why do you care anyway? You’ve been dead for months.”

That stopped Ellie cold, her laughter dying instantly, and behind her, she could hear Folio mutter, “Oh shit.” Her stepmother grinned viciously seeing the way the colour drained from Ellie’s face at what she said, gaining the upper hand again, she liked that, having the power. Jolly scrambled forward from behind the desks,

“Shut up.”

“Your funeral was pathetic just so you knew, boring as shit, your father didn’t even bother to cry, you little brat.”

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[twinkliker3000]

Watched hannibal for the first time. I have acquired a new babygirl and must now draw him

[localwarlockunion]

let it be known, i have acquired a magnificent thrifted sweater it is black and pink and white and says "BABYGIRL" all over it everywhere. new favorite clothing item 💗

[thatharringrovehoe]

I have acquired two new babygirls 🩷

[spineless-lobster]

I KNOW I’M LATE TO THE PARTY BUT IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED NIMONA YET FUCKING WATCH IT IT’S AMAZING AND I HAVE ACQUIRED A NEW BABYGIRL

This kicked puppy is my new wife

[delta-lethonomia]

Tried to narrow it to a few and was not successful: 8, 10, 13, 16, 17

8. see last post!

9. worst part of fanon

Hmm. This is actually pretty difficult, I feel like I'm only exposed to such a curated selection of fanon these days I completely miss all the wild takes. I will say that I don't think Astarion would necessarily do that much embroidery/sewing after the events of the game. I got the impression that a lot of it was because he needed to look attractive and put together, lacked the resources to acquire new things, and embroidering dumb things on his underwear was the only amount of bodily autonomy he could flex. He can't exactly dye his hair, cut it, or steal any jewelry without it getting stolen by the other spawn: he literally only has the clothes on his back, and they need to be kept in good condition if he wants any degree of success enticing higher class/presumably less violent and more attractive people back to Cazador.

If anything, I think post-bg3 he'd splurge and get himself nice things, holding onto fraying clothing for far too long but not repairing it. He can buy things now - but the urge to hoard it would still exist, while patching it might strike too close to old habits. He'd pick up the thread and think of something, but wouldn't be able to bring himself to embroider anything for himself. A partner though, yes, but not himself.

There's no need for a stamp across his ass if no one's going to see it anymore.

13. worst blorbofication

the bestest babygirl Astarion. Seriously. What the fuck. We've got Snape levels of delusion about this bitch. He's been "draco in leather pants'd" enough that it's flipped around entirely, because Astarion does actually wear leather pants, so instead he's heteronormative fantasy #142 where he's loving husband material, ready to have adorable dhampir babies and sweetly make love under the blankets of their 3-bedroom house with white picket fence while assuring tav/durge that's 100% ready to have missionary sex again with deep eye contact where maybe one of them gets to come, because it's fine, we don't need sex for emotional intimacy. ????

Astarion absolutely can be kind in a bitchy, understated way, but every time I see a thing where he's too nice I want to write a scene where he does something horrible or picks a fight. Let👏 him 👏 murder 👏

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ok already answered BUT HAVE ANOTHER! (Actually have 2!) I don't like "Sweet, supportive Astarion" characterizations. I think no matter the trauma, his is always going to be worse, and even if he doesn't say it he's definitely thinking it. I don't think he'd be actively sweet, more… deliberately not being an asshole, at best. Crying about your mum dying? He'll let you cry on his shoulder, give a sentence of comfort, then change the conversation. Very stiff upper lip - "Must be talk about this?"

Wait ok I just thought of the actual controversial take. I don't get the obsession with putting Astarion in dresses. He's beautiful, yes, but there are a lot of handsome men in fiction, but Astarion especially get put into dresses a lot. Is it because of the wavemother robes??? Did that unlock something in people??? Is it because he comes across as gay sometimes, so therefor let's put him in women's clothing, because crossdressing stereotypes? Putting any man in a dress is subversive, I get that, I just don't get what about Astarion makes people so feral for it. Skimpy clothing, yes, but the heels and dresses. why.

It makes me think of nail polish on men these days. I get the impression it's a certain flavor of liberal man who wears nail polish as a subversive act, trying to show that feminine things aren't lesser, that they're not ashamed of wearing them, but Astarion's absolutely a rather conservative character politically. Like… babygirl's voting Tory/Republican, if he's voting at all. Sorry.

Maybe I'm thinking too deeply about this lol. But for real - he's a very masculine-coded character. He cries once, and that's an overwhelming cathartic release after centuries of pain. He's assertive in sex scenes. Even though he sounds like he's close to tears sometimes, he pushes past emotional things very quickly, is driven by a need for freedom, to provide for the player and be powerful enough for the both of them, to keep them safe, has a drive for power that's frightening, and will throw down if it comes down to it. He threatens you if you tell him no about sharing the tadpoles, even after sleeping together. His shoulders are much broader than you think. He's very, very masculine, both in body and values, he just also happens to be a flirt and has had trauma and submission beaten into him. In elf terms, he's the chaddest chad to ever chad.

He would also fold one leg over the other at the knee while sitting on a stool that gives stereotypical "gay" vibes, but I can also see him manspreading all over the place. But I just don't see fanart of Astarion manspreading with a prominent bulge the same way I see dress fanart everywhere. I feel like I just don't get the appeal enough to unpick this!

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

Crushing Ascended Astarion into the dirt. I'm so, so glad Larian added that option to take control of him after becoming the Absolute - he doesn't see it coming at all, and it's so good. I just want to see AA as far away from power as possible, struggling with himself, and maybe regretting the Ascension and all that he lost. I don't think AA is completely hopeless - he's still Astarion, just dumber, more arrogant, more scared and out of touch with himself, with all those emotional walls snapped back into place all the harder - but that just makes me want to crack him like an egg.

Oh, or fics/art where Tav/Durge left him instead of becoming his spawn. He lets them leave, but I don't think he ever gets over it, and it's his last little shred of goodness/arrogance/self-pity that prevents him from taking them back forcefully. Pieces Still Stuck in Your Teeth by howlsmovinglibrary is obviously the best example of this and can't be topped, but I want more cakes!!! Not of "darkly seductive vampire lord Astarion seducing an old flame back to his side" cake, but of "disaster AA embarrasses himself by becoming more pathetic over an obsession he just can't shake." The higher they rise, the harder they fall.

He just wants to be loved unquestionably despite thinking of himself as a proven monster and therefore unlovable

[nightmaresart]

I have acquired a new babygirl

[aajjks]

jinseoul - 18 years old

ae-cha - 16 years old

areum - 10 years old

jawon - 8 years old

ji-eun - 5 years old

ayra - 5 years old

jaehan - 2 years old

the kids have grown up you guys 🥺💔 (answer this one please? i forgot to add 🫧)

TC!dad!JK

it’s a warm day in goryeo, corea and the garden blooms cheery blossoms trees, tulips, magnolias, and orchids to welcome the fragrance of spring. “shhh” you say to yourself whiney two year old who is struggling to sit still in your lap but you know it’s because your beloved has been gone for over four months to help build a stable living environment for his growing empire in the new territory he acquired from the recent war he fought and won so you’ve been in your own.

you’ve been balancing the life of being of queen and a mother to your babies who aren’t your babies anymore. you’re now a mother to an 18 year old as the oldest and a 2 year old being the youngest with you being at the tender age of 40. all your kids have up and it happened too fast to your liking. just like now, you’re at one of your twin daughter’s recital watching her sing the well-known traditional song of arirang. that ‘twin’ being jeon ji-eun who eagerly searches for your face in the crowd and the moment she finds you, you remind her to take a deep breath and sing at a pace that is comfortable for her. “you got this” you mouth and your 5 year old nods her head before opening her mouth and singing the words to the song:

“Arirang, Arirang, Arariyo...
Arirang gogaero neomeoganda.
Nareul beorigo gasineun nimeun
Simnido motgaseo balbbyeongnanda”

you’re in love with your daughter’s sweet voice that has the audience swaying their heads to the tune of the song. your sweet ji-eun is into singing and has been singing since she turned one, so you decided to hire a vocal coach to help stabilize and train her vocals. you know she still has a ways to go but you can tell the vocal training is helping because her voice is as smooth as butter and it’s not as shaky as it used to be.

ji-eun sings the song once more before finishing and you were one of the first people to stand up and give a standing ovation to your babygirl who was surprised at the positive reception and you know she’s really happy when her dimples show. yes, your ji-eun has dimples which is a feature none of your other children have except for her. a feature that stems from her father who possesses dimples.

“mama!! mama!!” she yells onstage and asks her teacher permission to go to you which she does grant. “hi, eunnie. you did so good baby” you coo as you step out of the row with jaehan in your arms to give your excited 5 year old a hug.

“did you see me mama?!”

“of course, baby. you were looking at me” you giggle and press a kiss to your daughter’s long jet black locks.

“can we go home?”

“don’t you want to stay for the of the performance?”

“no”

you shake your head before laughing at ji-eun. you take your daughter’s hand and instruct your guards to grab ji-eun’s belongings while the two of you go and grab ayra and areum.

it’s not often that you get your children from school early but you’ll make an exception just this once because you know it’ll break ji-eun’s heart if you tell her no and their father should be returning from his two week trip.

“i passed my test mom!” cheers ayra who in one hand holding areum’s and in the other carrying her violin. yes, your little ayra is into music, specifically complex instruments like the piana, violin, and cello. to improve her skills in music, you got your husband to get in contact with the famous composer min yoongi to teach ayra and its only made ayra love music even more.

“good job, sweetheart. how about you areum?”

“i had a good day. classes were boring like usual”

areum isn’t interested in her studies and both you and your husband know this. it took her awhile to even find an interest in something but thanks to your many accidents in the kitchen, turns out your daughter loves to cook. her father often reminds her to stay out of the culinary wing because it isn’t safe but her heart can’t help but gravitate there. areum even cooks sweet and healthy treats for her father when he’s too busy to eat and he’s loved them all.

“c’mon girls. into the carriage” you say to your four girls and one by one they get inside and talk about their day at school while your two year old falls asleep in your lap. within 10 minutes you all arrive back to the palace walls and upon drop off you all are met with your 16 year old daughter ae-cha, 18 years old jinseoul, and your 8 year old son jawon who is supposed to be in bed after he caught a severe allergic reaction to banana nut bread which resulted in his entire body covered in hives. turns out jawon has a peanut allergy and the only reason why you didn’t have the cook beheaded was because it was an allergy you knew nothing about. also, your sweet jawon is a gardener just like you and it was him who planted the cherry blossoms along the palace.

“hi mom” says jinseoul in his deep voice and it breaks your heart every time to see your first born all grown up and mature like his sister. they both look so much like their father especially jinseoul who possesses his eyes, nose, and lips while his cheeks are a feature of yours but he barely has any cheeks. he’s gotten a lot taller and unlike his father, he prefers for his hair to be cut short as long hair requires too much maintenance in his opinion.

ae-cha still enjoys dancing and with yours and her father’s permission, she teaches younger girls how to dance and the young girls and boys admire her the closeness she has with them. ever since your trip back home, your daughter took full advantage of leaving the palace WITH guards because she is still a princess and you go with ae-cha every now and then to make flower crowns for the youth and donate to the small businesses.

your family has truly grown up and it’s about time to reveal just who this husband and beloved of yours is.

for the first few minutes, your children come inside to settle down and what was once the usual have conversation then go our separate ways, a loud announcement is made that the king has returned after his four month long absence and your kids don’t hesitate to meet their father at the door before he can step inside.

“DADDY!!!!!!” yells ji-eun as she’s the first to run up to him and jump into his arms. “i missed you!!” she says as she wraps her arms around his neck. next to jump into their father’s unoccupied arm is ayra who kisses her father’s face.

once jaehan wakes up, you put give him to jinseoul to greet his father with the rest of his siblings and the reunion is always sweet to watch.

father, king, husband, and lover. this man is none other than jeon jungkook, the mad king who is a father of seven beautiful and talented children and madly in love with you.

~🫧

It’s been too long and he’s so glad to be back home, with his ever growing family and especially to you. Jungkook doesn’t get a moment to breathe because both ji-eun and ayra have jumped into his arms.

And as he kisses his beloved daughters, he is still searching for you in the large crowd, this feels so nostalgic almost because just like this, 20 years ago, Jungkook had seen you like this for the first time in the palace,

But then you were standing with the servants, all scared and terrified.

And now, you stand ahead, he watches you approach him, and behind you are your children, who follow their mothers lead, like they should, you’ve changed a lot, long gone is the terrified girl and now he sees a confident stern queen in you,

His beautiful queen, the mother of his seven children, the wife to the king, the mother of the future king.

“Yn.” He breathes out as the servants take ji-eun and ayra from his arms so their queen can greet the king, the girls whine but all he can think about is having you in his arms.

And the staff watches as you bow your head down to him, which is so unnecessary in his opinion because for you he’s just your ordinary jungkook.

Jungkook rolls his eyes before he’s grabbing your body with his hand on your waist, and he immediately pulls you close to his chest, your chest feels so soft against his rock hard one.

He’s missed you so much, it’s so hard for him to believe that you’re 40 and he’s 42 when you look 25. Your beauty is always breathtaking, Jungkook looks at you with love and pulls you in for a deep kiss on your lips.

And he is a little insecure because he’s getting older and maybe he’s not that attractive anymore but that’s okay, right?

You still love him don’t you?

And as hes kissing you, he’s sure that jinseoul is getting embarrassed by his fathers often PDA with you but he doesn’t care, just because his children are getting older doesn’t mean his desire for you has dimmed.

Your girls think that it’s really romantic they their father loves their mother so much, they swoon every time which is something that your oldest son can never truly understand, but he is happy that his parents are very much in love.

He is raising your daughter’s expectations for Their future husband. And they only deserve someone who would love them very very much.

Truth is, it can never, it only ignites more and more.

“I missed you so much, my queen..” he breathes against your lips, finally feeling like he’s home.

[greenishness]

okay ummm wait. star war reading list

finish the med star books even though i hate them 😑 i have braved many storms for my fixation on medical worldbuilding in star wars

finish darth plagueis

read shatterpoint so i can hang out with my bestie mace windu

read tarkin

read labyrinth of evil

read master & apprentice (i adore qui-gon's "i turn to the light" monologue in this.... love good faith interpretations of jedi philosophy and spirituality. kissing claudia gray on the mouth for that)

read republic commando books (derogatory), perhaps acquire a new babygirl (etain) along the way

i should also really really really finally watch rebels and read the kanan comics

i don't think i will read the jedi apprentice books within my lifetime though i'm sorry women but i don't care about obi-wan's tragic backstory 💔

[yuri-is-online]

a shell of my former self* so...much...STUFF.

He lived. served cunt. died. got resurected. served even more cunt. Babygirl.

"See ya later Asshole of Chaldea." HE WAS SO ICONIC AND FOR WHAT.

Remember when I said I was glad I didn't text anyone in the middle of Merlin Fever? this was the complete opposite where I wanted to preserve the moment even if I would look like a fool even to myself later. BUT IN MY DEFENSE handsome guys who lie to me and make me worse don't just fall out of the sky every day c:

It's the Yearning Olympics out here. nobody is safe

Silly Oberon, of course we don't end the world here! I heard you got a summer wear. I Need That.

omg "Mortal Enemies?" *blushing like a bride*

Seeing Merlin and Oberon in the same section like that would be like Christmas to me, except this game hates me personally  cuz WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO ROAD TO 6 CAMPAIGN. WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO OBERON PICKUP GATCHA

me at beginning of the losbelt: why. why is he looking at me like that. WHY DOES HE LOOK LIKE SHOJO MANGA me now: amazing that a guy can dye his hair darker and suddenly get 50% hotter. BTW not to be freaky, but can I hold your hand? yes That One. Im not freaky im just curious

I beat Oberon by accidentally having an anti Oberon squad as the last ones standing (default castoria, Morgan, Proto Merlin)

*Oberon casts NP* me:wait. he sounds like THAT? don't get turned on dont– *getting swallowed by an abyss worm*

oh hey I'm glad I could see the Welsh woods aga–HE CALLED ME A BITCH!? (<-said as if I didn't call him that literally the second I saw him)

*gripping the bathroom sink staring in the mirror* Merlin fanfic is beneath me but do I sink low enough for THIS guy *I look down and my phone is already in hand* cheers

sidenotes: Castoria acquired! HABBYCAT AQUIRED (I literally screamed) Shoutout to the toxic doomed Yuri Aurora and Melusine had going on that was insane. I KNEW a guy who would name himself Pepe could never disappoint me. BLANCAAAAA 😢

and Time to eat a melon I had saved

Oh! Oberon was a New Years servant if I remember correctly? Either that or anniversary (probably anniversary)

I'm really glad you enjoyed Lostbelt 6 so much! They really cooked with that one... now onto Mesoamerica and hell. Hell first I think. Idk it's been a second.

The whole fairy line up was pretty cool, I'm so glad Mash is back, and Oberon... we mustn't think about him. Instead of thoughts there would be Oberon and that'd be bad. I think there was a Blanca plushie for sale a while ago... idk... missed opportunity if not.

Same with small Oberon who calls you bitch and steals your pepsi

Oh if you summon Oberon before you beat lost belt 6 he says nothing and just stares at you. He's such a bitch it's so fucking funny. My eternal belothed enemy indeed